The weather's heating up... time to spice up your date menu

LadyLikesToDance 13 Dec 2012, 12:55 PM

Barb, *smirking*

all I can add is..."I'll have what she's having"

BarbaraW 12 Dec 2012, 08:03 PM

LLTD,

I need hugs
I want sex
I know the difference :))

LadyLikesToDance 10 Dec 2012, 06:11 PM

Justa, I got the memo on who's responsibility it was to make moi happy, thank you.

I need food.
I want vodka.
I know the difference :)

We wouldn't be here if we all didn't have the same primal and intrinsic motivation regardless if the personality type is introverted, extraverted or ambiverted, like yours truly.

Sure one can live solo, knee deep in self help books with nine cats and two dogs to talk to.
Wouldn't be my type of living, I'd classify it as survival.

Quite sad, really, ponder this, yesterday, while sipping Champagne with the femmes at a country club luncheon, my school buddy declares her dog, is her "lover" ???
Have heard where people are enslaved by the needs of their pets over their own, and alarmingly this friend is giving up travel, cos the pooch suffers in her absence!

Read a profile where the femme declares the two dogs stay, and they stay indoors. This is non negotiable, reiterating that the gents are disposable.

How charming?

I love animals too but, am weary of people who insist on placing canines or puddy cats on a higher pecking order.

PS On the sustenance issue above, let me share this: dotta opens fridge door, surveying the contents and says, mum, when you going grocery shopping, there's hardly any food left?
Jolted out of my blondness by her observation...I offer, Oh yes, I'm out of vodka!

LMFO - for the uninitiated this is an acronym for "laughing my face off".

Live, laugh, love.
Cheers everybody!

amberlirose 10 Dec 2012, 11:54 AM

Hey Justa,
I agree entirely with you - true happiness is an internal thing that no one can 'give' us - nor can anyone 'make us happy' if we are damned well determined not to be so.
We can DECIDE to be happy. We just have to make that choice.

Some of the happiest people in the world do not have all the material possessions (or obsession with how good we do/don't look) we in the developed world desire and THINK we 'need'.

However I'm with Jacca, one man at a time has always been enough for me :)

oooUNIQUEooo 9 Dec 2012, 05:05 PM

Justa

Love your attitude, its light hearted and positive lol

Always hope

Good to see a man who does this already

Not everything has to cost money either. When was the last time someone fed the ducks for instance...

Or went to Karaoke or trivia night at the local club?

Jaccaranda 9 Dec 2012, 04:56 PM

Whoa Justa, you're now advocating polyandry for us (we?) amazing boomer chicks?? The girls and I are flat out getting one fella each!

Jacca

oooUNIQUEooo 9 Dec 2012, 04:31 PM

LLTD

I know you mean human nature LOL

I don't feel lonely or alone - even after my recent breakup .. In fact I actually enjoy the quiet time on my own... Home alone...

*sigh*

LOL so much sleep to catch up on.

I want someone much like myself who doesn't have time to dwell on being alone or lonely for more than a second or two

Sure its something that happens to people and I do understand the whole lonely in a crowd thing but really?

Life is just too short

AlwaysHope 9 Dec 2012, 03:02 PM

So this article is about being creative with the warmer weather in your dating or relationship time?... hmmm, nothing new here, reminds me of that old saying "There is nothing new under the sun" (pardon the pun!) lol :)

Justa50sguy 9 Dec 2012, 09:48 AM

There is a difference to "wanting" and "needing". Of course we can all feel a little lonely, from time to time, but that doesnt mean you "need" someone to make you happy, or does it?

To me, the only person that can make you happy is yourself..it is not the responsibility of someone else to do that for you. Sure, that person can enhance your life, in some way, but if you are relying on them to give you happiness, then you are expecting too much of that person.

Who says we are not designed to live solo....what we are not designed for is singularity...to be alone ALL of the time. We have basic needs..food, shelter etc...sex is one of those basic needs; but it doesnt mean we have to live with that person to get those needs satisfied, we have been conditioned (mainly be generations of religious dogma). Isn't there a theory out there that a woman actually needs at least 2 separate partners....the provider and the procreator...mostly neither totally fulfill her, in isolation? Men are no different, someone to care for us; and open slather for sexual gratification!!:)))

LadyLikesToDance 9 Dec 2012, 01:30 AM

I could not be more engaged socially, oh Unique One, as you know personally.

Have a social calendar that rivals my teenage daughter's.

But that does not stop me being lonely; needing and wanting another special person in my life.

To me it is a totally natural to feel this way, I don't see it as a weakness as sociable beings, we weren't designed to live solo. And mating is the most intrinsic human need.

Why fight mother nature?

oooUNIQUEooo 8 Dec 2012, 05:51 PM

I totally DO NOT WANT someone who has that "lonely" empty unfulfilled mentality - someone who NEEDS me to take away the pain and isolation of being lonely or alone

I want someone who is ALREADY fulfilled & complete. I do NOT wish to complete anyone etc

My life is full of spice and all things nice. I want a partner who is ALIVE & full of life - actively living it

Not one who is hoping to find someone who'll bring life to THEIRS

BarbaraW 6 Dec 2012, 10:32 PM

James,

I empathise with your feelings of being lonely in a crowd but it isn't a feeling I've ever had at Christmas. For me as a completely non-religious person, this holiday period is a nostalgic time, a time to be with family and friends, a time to reach out to those who may, unlike yourself, welcome some company at a time when they may be feeling sad. A time to toast absent friends.

I'm more likely to feel lonely at a party or a dance where I should be enjoying the social aspect of being with friends. I don't really understand party mode and would prefer to relax, chill out and chat. On the other hand, I rarely feel lonely when I'm on my own.

So if you're not comfortable joining in around Christmas time, welcome the time to visit the beach, catch up on your reading, wander around a gallery or two. I hope taking advantage of the quiet time to meet other singles on rsvp has some pleasant outcomes for you. Enjoy :))

amberlirose 5 Dec 2012, 11:24 AM

* I DON"T see the point.....:)

Todayisthefirst 5 Dec 2012, 10:31 AM

Hi Justa,

Have heard that SO many times - when you abandon your expectations in 'the search', and get busy doing whatever gives you passion, fun and purpose, that you'll radiate and attract some one similar.
I have been puzzled by the seeming contradiction of the concept, envious at observing it in others, ....and am currently trying it !

jamesxxx1 5 Dec 2012, 09:07 AM

Oh Barb, better not make me Prime Minister as I would get rid of Christmas for adults.

"There's absolutely no need to be alone at Christmas if you don't want to be. If you have no family, friends or neighbours, there are so many community events happening on the day where you can participate to the extent that you choose. "

For me, there is nothing more painfully lonely then a crowd.

One good thing about Christmas is all the single people like us will be on holidays and be able to spend time here on rsvp meeting each other :-)

I just hope the rsvp server does not crash on the 25th.

amberlirose 5 Dec 2012, 06:32 AM

Hey Justa,
No pressure at all.
I've been around this site long enough to have absolutely no expectations except (hopefully) good manners and courtesy and even that is wishful thinking sometimes :)

Usually it doesn't even get as far as a meet - he does a runner once he realises I'm not about to jump straight into his arms.

I just see the point of meeting anyone unless I feel we might at least BE friends (and there might the potential for some attraction on meeting) :)

Justa50sguy 4 Dec 2012, 06:28 PM

Hi Amber,

I understand that too, but is it really worthwhile forcing the issue and putting yourself and the other person under so much pressure due to the expectations on someone who, in all reality, is a complete stranger to you?

I've met a few people who actually met their match when they had decided to stop looking and start having fun...the person just walked into their life and, in most cases, was someone whom they never saw themselves with!

amberlirose 4 Dec 2012, 03:30 PM

But Justa, Some of us don't have the time to be meeting lots of new friends :)

Edited by RSVP Moderator

BarbaraW 3 Dec 2012, 10:12 PM

Hi Stan,

I agree it's certainly the wrong time of year to be searching for your true love. If people want to sit at home and feel sad that's unfortunately a choice that they make. There's absolutely no need to be alone at Christmas if you don't want to be.

If you have no family, friends or neighbours, there are so many community events happening on the day where you can participate to the extent that you choose.

On the flip side, if you have single friends at a loose end, invite them to join you and your family for the day. If you are a group of single friends, organise a picnic at the beach or a park or the botanical gardens.

My family starts with lunch on Christmas day (all home cooked and prepared cold meats and salads) and goes through to Boxing day evening. Everyone we know is welcome to drop in for a meal at any time and they all know they're welcome to bring anyone who is floating around with nowhere to join in.

Call your local police station and see if those on duty would like a quick bite to eat with some friendly company. Make sure your elderly neighbours aren't sitting home alone all day with their memories. Ensure that any single parent families in your neighbourhood have others to celebrate with.

Obviously we can't fix the whole of society but, if each one of us can make one person's Christmas enjoyable, or even tolerable, by making them welcome and enjoying their company in our homes then we've achieved something amazing for ourselves.

Justa50sguy 3 Dec 2012, 06:23 PM

The way I see it, whats wrong with a bit of company, regardless of Christmas, or whenever? Aussies have no concept of dating as it is approached in USA...its about getting out and about meeting as many people as you can, and maybe you might find someone special; but not the end of the world if you dont.

Personally, I think we tend to put too much emphasis on meeting "the one" and not enough on just meeting new people for fun and friendship