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Sharpen your profile - starting with your personality description

dinner and movie

Posted by The RSVP Team on

Although getting online is relatively straightforward, writing your profile can be pretty time consuming, complicated and even a little confronting.

But don't worry - it's quite natural to find it challenging because when you're completing your profile, you're forced to think about who you are and what you actually want in and from a partner. And, this might be the first time you've formally and seriously considered these types of questions.

One of the areas members find especially tricky is writing a personal description. This is because it's a bit like writing a short personal biography and many of us haven't actually written one before. Some will have written a corporate CV but even company directors and CEOs can find it hard to brag about themselves on paper. It's often their support staff that have to sharpen their bios and make sure they're not selling themselves short.

Don't underestimate the importance of how you describe yourself. Your personality description and photo are the two key factors that influence whether other singles will contact you.

Tips for writing a good personal description

1. Think of it like writing a social biography and get your support people to help you. Ask a close friend to read your description before you put it online or review what you currently have up. More often than not, they will have some helpful suggestions for you. Remember - how you see yourself is often very different to how others see you.

2. Once you've listened to their feedback, consider this alongside ways that you can make your description different from other members. Don't play it safe and make your profile look like everyone else. Name your points of difference, provide some insight into what makes you tick, your sense of humour, lifestyle and tastes.

3. Importantly, check your spelling and grammar before you go live. It sounds simple but makes a world of difference!

Then see how you go. If you find you're not attracting the type of people you want - revisit your profile and try and identify why this is. Tweak your profile here and there and see if you get different results.

Have fun and good luck.
264 comments

Comments


LadyLikesToDance
LadyLikesToDance
Personality description, hmmm, well one can try to explain what their essence is like on paper. It is really only in the 3D that one can truly appreciate another person. But if it's your normal as it should be, then it's only pertinent when you come into contact with someone who is the opposite.

Was recently referred to as "The Lady over the top"!

*shrugs shoulders*

Have to ask, over the top of what?
LadyLikesToDance
LadyLikesToDance
Jacca, yes, intro/extroversion is a core trait and there is no judgement; one is not better than the other.

Spare a thought for all the other ambiverts out there, don't we just confuse everybody?

Hmmmm...and go figure, there are people who not only find our company acceptable but love us for it! hehehe
Kach72
Kach72
After reading all this I think I should revamp my profile!
I might add though... guys, don't lie about your ages!
Jaccaranda
Jaccaranda
I'm just stuck with myself Peaceful :) and thanks
Peacefulsixty
Peacefulsixty
Hi, Jaccaranda.
I never suggested that you should/could/might/ought to 'improve' or 'grow out of it'. It is what it is and you are who and what you are. So long as you are comfortable with that 'who' and that 'what', that is ALL that matters and far be it from me to advocate change.

Many people find you acceptable - and IF you promise not to let it go to your head, I'll let you in a little secret. On the one occasion when we spent any time together, I also found you very acceptable company.

Just my 0.02.

You have a wonderful Easter.
Best wishes.
Peacefulsixty.
Jaccaranda
Jaccaranda
Peaceful introversion/ extroversion is a core personality trait, and IMO there is not much we can do to change it. Anyway, I've never tried to ...improve?

Plenty of people find me acceptable. Most of my friendship go way back, but have also made a couple of new friends in the last few years. I don't see it as a problem to not have to be the life of the party or centre of attention, but those folk have their place.

Jacca
Peacefulsixty
Peacefulsixty
Hi, Jaccaranda.
Believe it or not, I can relate to what you are saying about being quiet at first. You have met me and so you may have difficulty believing this but I was once pretty shy and quiet myself.

Whooda thunkitt?

How-wevver, I did manage to 'grow' out of it, in case you hadn't noticed, and again, believe it or not.

Laughter IS the best medicine. It can also be the best preventative - - - - - - and the more you do it, the better it works.

Just my 0.02.

You have a wonderful, laughter-filled day.
Best wishes.
Peacefulsixty.
Jaccaranda
Jaccaranda
Just good to have a laugh and smile peaceful, and someone not as quiet as I am at first is good.
Peacefulsixty
Peacefulsixty
Hi, Sixthsense.
Well, I'd say that the third one one, if presented the way that you describe, would most likely have a message in it, at least for the discerning.

While I might qualify as a fairly 'laid back' type of person, it is not a term that I would use to describe myself. When I get 'laid back', you may not want to be around me 'cos people tell me that I snore. More fool them for staying awake to listen to me. Personally, I don't care 'cos I'm not silly enough to lay awake listening to myself to see if I do or don't.

Easy-going? Well, I'm not into making hard work of anything or making mountains out of molehills, metaphorically speaking. (I do both that and the reverse for real for a living.) How-wevver, I hafta agree withya that a LOTTA people who describe themselves as easy-going do seem to have a severe electrical problem - - - their 'self-starter' doesn't work.

Hi, Jaccaranda.
The ones who are doing all the squawking about the 'common usage' phrases would probably say. "Yes". to that. To me. it raises a different response. I hafta ask, "Why MUST a man have a sense of humour to qualify as a potential partner?"

Could it be 'cos she DOESN'T have one?

Hi, QMW.
There's a LOTTA 'serious' people in this world, most of 'em WAY too serious for their own good, let alone the good of the rest of humanity.

Just my 0.02.

You all have a wonderful day.
Best wishes.
Peacefulsixty.
Jaccaranda
Jaccaranda
And is "a man with a sense of humour" the same thing Asi? (Guilty)
Jaccaranda
Jaccaranda
When she looks at him?
LadyLikesToDance
LadyLikesToDance
"I'm comfortable in my own skin"

Really? Who'd a thought!
sixthsense
sixthsense
What about "I'm laid back", "easy going" and "nothing much fazes (invariably spelt phases) me"?

All leave me with the impression the person lacks commitment, direction or motivation.

But maybe that's just me :-)
QualityManWanted
QualityManWanted
Today.. I specifically ask for someone who does not take themselves too seriously. Doesn't mean they don't take a relationship seriously. I'm not drawn to those who are serious in nature & are unable to laugh at themselves. I want to have an overall enjoyable, fun experience with a person who is happy & able to laugh with me, at me or at themselves, but understand we are all drawn to different traits.

I find if you are uncomfortable having to describe yourself in a profile, by describing the type of person you are drawn to says much about yourself. This is more my focus rather than being overly descriptive specifically about myself in the 'about me' section.
amanoverboard
amanoverboard
The all time winner which appears in every third female profile has not been mentioned, "You must make me laugh"
Todayisthefirst
Todayisthefirst
What about " don't take myself seriously" ?

Is that giving you the tip that at any and all gatherings they'll be the one wearing their own invisible jester's cap ?

Have never understood exactly what that meant - only that we'd probably not be compatible.
Jaccaranda
Jaccaranda
Don't forget can dress up or down. Oh, sorry, that's a male cliche! Run when you see that one girls, because IME the sartorial bar has been set pretty low
Peacefulsixty
Peacefulsixty
Hi, Folks.
So what if MANY of us, female or male, like similar things. We all 'suffer' from the human condition and the conditionings of whatever culture(s) we happen to live within so why wouldn't we have a longish list of similarities in our desires and interests? And as for "Family is important", would it not be a rather large and glaringly bright 'red flag' if someone was to post in their profile, "Couldn't give a rats about family or friends"?

There are a lot of simple pleasures and activities that are shared by large percentages of the population so why wouldn't these things appear pretty regularly in profiles? Some of us LIKE drinking wine, while some prefer beer and some prefer spirituous beverages - - - and some choose to not consume alcohol at all. So how should we describe whatever alcohol consumption preferences we may have - - - 'love a drop of fermented grape occasionally - about every 5 minutes or so? - - - I choose to imbibe beer to binge levels? - - - I try to drown my sorrows in whisky/rum/bourbon/ouzo but the little blighters can swim faster than I can drink. - - - I consume lots of bottled 'bravemaker' but it doesn't work and I just end up comatose."

Or maybe, "I DON'T have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down, I go to sleep - no problem."

Think about it. There are not a lot of different ways that you can say the same things.

Just my 0.02.

You all have a wonderful day.
Best wishes.
Peacefulsixty.
QualityManWanted
QualityManWanted
I'll just say, the self-confessed bad boy is harmless. It's like when a straight man us confronted by an obviously gay man..

It is those who ooze sweetness & charm but are all 'bad boy' beneath.. who are true 'bad boys'.. that's when it gets interesting.. & must admit, my specialty..
QualityManWanted
QualityManWanted
Hate to say it, but I find it a huge turn off when they state they are 'intelligent'. Or say they are 'funny' yet cannot say one funny thing in their profile. Hope these have not become cliche too.

Mention of 'Shawshank' always gets a roll of the eyes..

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