tag:blogs.rsvp.com.au,2012://1 2012-02-10T04:18:16Z Movable Type 3.36 tag:blogs.rsvp.com.au,2012://1.329 2012-02-10T03:18:06Z 2012-02-10T04:18:16Z

RSVP When we introduced John Aiken to you last July as RSVP's relationship expert, we tasked him with writing weekly blogs on dating and relationship topics that would be of benefit to our members. ]]> datingtips@rsvp.com.au. We look forward to hearing your suggestions. The RSVP team ]]> tag:blogs.rsvp.com.au,2012://1.328 2012-02-09T06:04:31Z 2012-02-09T06:22:52Z

RSVP Last month, we asked our member if they "had enough romance in your life" via an online survey. Thanks to everyone that took the time, it was obviously a topic that hit a chord.]]> So, what have you our RSVP members all told us about romance? Well, 98% of respondents think romance is important; unfortunately only 5% believe they have enough romance in their lives. Singles are looking for romance - so take that as an encouraging sign to make that extra bit of effort, don't sit on the sidelines - send a kiss, initiate chat and ask people out - do something romantic. The mere idea of romance can scare people off - some think it's about grand gestures, clichés and potentially corny scenarios but romance is different for everyone and doesn't need to be any of those things if you don't want it to be. In our poll, you guys told us 96% of people think romance is about small everyday gestures rather than grand displays of love. We asked what were people's most romantic experiences and the answers were varied. From a boyfriend flying them interstate for dinner, to a kiss under the stars or a simple home cooked meal - it seems romance comes in many different forms. So our advice for Valentine's Day is keep it real. Romance doesn't have to be about grandiose displays - it's about doing something small and surprising to make someone else feel thought about and special. To be romantic - all you have to do is take the plunge. Have fun rather than taking the whole thing too seriously! Any day is a good day to start adding more romance in your life but, with the 14th of Feb fast approaching why not be brave and creates a little romance in your life and someone elses. If you've got any tips for creating a little bit of romance, we'd love to hear from you. From everyone at the RSVP Team - we hope you have a Happy Valentine’s Day!]]> tag:blogs.rsvp.com.au,2012://1.327 2012-02-03T02:27:52Z 2012-02-03T03:02:03Z

John http://blogs.rsvp.com.au/movabletype/mt.cgi It's hard to believe we are already more than a month into 2012. Before the year starts running away with you - it's time to think about what you really want in a life partner (and then make sure you keep this in mind throughout the year).]]> Music lovers: for those that love music of all types whether it be rock, jazz, classical or pop. The great outdoors: if you're into adventure, the outdoor lifestyle and being spontaneous Art lovers: when wandering through a gallery is your perfect day. Fitness fanatics: for people who are focused on their fitness and prioritise health and well-being Coffee connoisseurs: when you want to spend time with a person who appreciates the real gift of good coffee Movie buffs: find people who share your interest in film Shall we dance: if you're keen on getting to know people who like hitting the dance floor - tango, salsa, ballroom and Latin Whatever your needs, interests and passions, going online and joining up with specific groups can improve your chances of meeting the right partner. No longer do you have to leave this all to chance. You can do your research and start dating a person who you already have a strong connection with. Over to you - what are your tips for finding a partner with similar interests to you? John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship expert For more advice and relationship tips go to www.johnaikenadvice.com]]> tag:blogs.rsvp.com.au,2012://1.326 2012-01-27T02:12:16Z 2012-01-27T02:35:33Z

RSVP The old adage goes, by failing to prepare, you're preparing to fail. Preparation is important in most things we do and the first date is no exception if you want to make a good impression.]]> Make a proper plan in advance We've all been on those dinner dates, when someone asks you out but failed to think of a restaurant or make a booking in advance. You meet them at a designated spot and then they ask you what you want to do! More often than not, this leads to the two of you floundering around, trying to come up with a plan, second-guessing the other person's taste and budget. Generally, this doesn't go a long way to impressing the other person and can put a dampener on the experience before it has even begun. Save the 'relaxed' approach for later on and don't be afraid to suggest a couple of specific options before the date. The other person will appreciate that you've taken the time think about it. Ultimately it shows you're interested and thoughtful. Once you've agreed on a plan, stick to it (including making any necessary bookings or enquiries), have cash in your pocket and don't be late. Make it an activity It's likely that you will have been chatting over email and the phone for a while before deciding to meet in person - so take cues from your conversations to guide you in your date suggestions. Think about your common interests and consider basing the date around an activity. By taking the focus off the both of you and giving you something to get engaged with, activities are a great way to alleviate some of the pressure and calm the nerves. They also fuel you with talking points to help negotiate any potentially awkward gaps in the conversation. Sharing an experience or doing an activity gives you an insight into your date without the intensity of sitting across from each other at a table over a three-course dinner. You'll be able to see them in action and learn about how they respond in the world. You can start to gauge what type of person they are simply by hearing their reactions to a movie, art, music or seeing how they play a sport. Make sure you are comfortable You're more likely to shine when doing something you enjoy and are comfortable with. And on your first date - you want to shine - to make that good impression. Suggest an activity that you like - if you really don't like foreign films, don't suggest seeing one. If you dislike the beach, then don't agree to an afternoon swim and sunbake. Just suggest an alternative that appeals to your common interests. Make sure you are safe We always suggest going to a public venue that you are familiar with and has good transport so you can get home easily. At the end of the day, you are meeting someone you don't know - so you don't want to invite them into your personal space or be accepting lifts from them straightaway. It's good to have a date buddy who you tell your plans to before the date. Tell them who you are going to meet, where and when. Check in with them at the end of the date and let them know how it went. If you've got any tips for great first dates, we'd love to hear from you. The RSVP Team ]]> tag:blogs.rsvp.com.au,2012://1.325 2012-01-19T23:42:19Z 2012-01-19T23:47:45Z

John http://blogs.rsvp.com.au/movabletype/mt.cgi You might think that when you're single - the best support network to get you through the ups and downs of dating are your friends. After all, they've known you for many years, they have your best interests at heart, and they want to see you happy. They celebrate your achievements and build you up when you're feeling fragile. ]]> 1. How do they make you feel before and after you see them? 2. Can you be yourself around them? 3. Do they celebrate you? 4. Do they genuinely want you to meet someone special? If the answers to these questions are all positive, then carry on and keep enjoying their support. If however some friends fall short, then it's time to get selective and start weeding your garden. Spend less time with those people that hold you back, and more time with individuals that want you to shine. In the end this will dramatically increase your chances of finding love. Over to you - how do you deal with toxic friends? John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship expert For more advice and relationship tips go to www.johnaikenadvice.com]]> tag:blogs.rsvp.com.au,2012://1.324 2012-01-13T01:48:54Z 2012-01-13T01:53:41Z

John http://blogs.rsvp.com.au/movabletype/mt.cgi So it's that time again. New Year's has come and gone, and you're thinking about your resolutions and what changes you have to make moving forward. That's a good thing. It's a perfect time for you to think about your love life and how you're going to approach dating differently this year.]]> www.johnaikenadvice.com ]]> tag:blogs.rsvp.com.au,2012://1.323 2012-01-06T04:09:15Z 2012-01-06T04:27:06Z

John http://blogs.rsvp.com.au/movabletype/mt.cgi Do you find yourself constantly talking to dates about issues and problems in your life, and getting yourself flustered and anxious? ]]> 1. Stop complaining and talking about issues One very quick way of turning down the drama is to stop talking to your dates about all your issues, worries and problems. It's overwhelming to constantly hear about your daily complaints and after awhile potential love interests are simply going to tune out. They'll also get sick of trying to solve these issues for you and will want to be with someone less demanding. 2. Take an interest and ask questions Start making a point of turning your focus onto your dates and away from yourself. It's time to let go of the spotlight and get to know your dates by asking them questions and listening to them. People love talking about themselves, and you need to make them feel interesting and special. So get them talking and step back from taking up all conversation. 3. Solve your own problems If you're going to be less dramatic then you need to start relying on yourself to deal with your problems rather than leaning on your dates to give you direction and solutions. Nobody wants to play the role of parent when you start dating them. Instead they want you to handle your own business and show strength and resourcefulness. 4. Keep things in perspective If you're overly dramatic then you'll tend to blow things out of proportion when you're dating. You'll sweat the small stuff and worry too much about the possible negative consequences of certain events/ situations. Rather than getting all worked up and fretting about things, take a step back, get some perspective and ask yourself "how can I look at this differently?" and "what's an alternative viewpoint?" 5. Keep your feelings in check Drama and emotions tend to go hand in hand, so one way to keep a level head when you're dating is to hold back on constantly expressing your feelings. Don't be like a fire hose spraying your feelings all over the place. Rather, keep a check on this and give yourself time out before making impulsive and emotional statements. Even if you have to excuse yourself and come back when you're feeling calmer, this is going to be better in the long run. Over to you - has being overly dramatic ever hindered you when dating? John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship expert For more advice and free relationship tips go to www.johnaikenadvice.com ]]> tag:blogs.rsvp.com.au,2011://1.322 2011-12-20T22:32:00Z 2011-12-20T23:01:07Z

John http://blogs.rsvp.com.au/movabletype/mt.cgi The holiday period can be a really difficult time for many singles as this can create feelings of loneliness when all you see around you is happy couples and lots of festivities and romance. ]]> 1. Get out there and socialise Think about all your friends, both single and those in relationships and book them in. Be open to all opportunities to get out there and meet as many old friends and new people as possible. You never know who you'll bump into along the way! 2. Change up your online dating approach Be prepared to change-up your online dating approach. Now is a good time to enlist a friend and re-write your profile, put up some new photos and start looking at different types of potential love interests. Perhaps it's time to get involved in certain new communities that you haven't yet checked out? 3. Prioritise your health and fitness It's a great time of year to focus on your health and wellbeing. You've got the flexibility over this period to really commit to running your life differently. So if you need to, visit a nutritionist, stop drinking for a month, get a personal trainer, join a gym, start getting up earlier - whatever it takes to overhaul your health and fitness. 4. Factor in hobbies and travel With all the spare time on your hands you need to look at pursuing your individual interests and hobbies that you may've put to one side. Also, consider this time a perfect opportunity to book in travel to take you to places you've always wanted to experience. You don't have to wait to be in a relationship to do these things. You never know, you might meet someone special in a foreign country! 5. Start pursuing your New Year's resolutions Takes some time to consider what you want to change about your life as you move into the New Year. As a single person you can begin transforming yourself and living your life any way you want. So do whatever you've been procrastinating on and take positive action now (e.g. giving up smoking, going to University, moving house, doing Yoga, learning Italian etc.) Over to you - what's the best way for a single person to cope with the holidays? John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship expert For more advice and relationship tips go to www.johnaikenadvice.com]]> tag:blogs.rsvp.com.au,2011://1.321 2011-12-19T00:46:15Z 2011-12-20T23:04:47Z

RSVP Moderator RSVP understands that blogs provide an important outlet for RSVP members. To ensure the blogs continue to be a positive environment for RSVP members please review the Blog moderating guidelines.]]> Blog Comments will not be published if they fall into the following categories: 1. Abusive and/or offensive language 2. Racism 3. Sexist language or commentary 4. Any form of offensive discrimination 5. Abuse directed at another person on the blogs 6. Invasions of privacy including revealing the identity of another commenter 7. Sarcasm which adds no value to the general conversation or blog 8. Posts which include a links, email addresses, URLs of any kind including if disguised 9. Plagiarism if able to be identified and not presented as a quote properly credited 10. Duplicate posts RSVP Moderator]]> tag:blogs.rsvp.com.au,2011://1.320 2011-12-15T22:51:55Z 2011-12-15T22:57:12Z

John http://blogs.rsvp.com.au/movabletype/mt.cgi Flirting, like many other types of subtle social skills, can come a little easier for some than others. You may find it very comfortable to start up a conversation with a potential love interest, say all the right things and make them feel weak at the knees. On the other hand, the whole idea of flirting might make you feel confused and anxious.]]> 1. No eye contact One of the quickest ways someone can tell that you're interested is by giving them some eye contact. So if you're looking away or down at the ground, you're giving off a signal of disinterest. It also lacks confidence and makes the other person feel unsure of where they stand. 2. Crowding their personal space People like to have a sense of security around them with their personal space. If you get right up close and crowd this area you're going to give off a pushy and dominant vibe and it's going to make them feel threatened and anxious. 3. Touching inappropriately You've only just met someone - so it's no time to be putting your hands all over them. This will just scare them off and give them the impression you're only after sex. 4. Being crude and crass Talking explicitly about sex early on in the conversation, swearing, and being offensive and outspoken in your comments will kill your chances. You're sending a signal that you don't respect the people around you and your manners aren't your strong point. 5. Not asking questions Standing silently in front of a potential love interest and expecting them to carry the whole conversation is tiresome for them and they'll get bored and frustrated. At the end of the day, people love talking about themselves, so not taking an interest and asking questions isn't going to get you far. 6. Getting too drunk Drinking too much, slurring your words and getting unsteady on your feet is a turn off. Enough said. 7. Checking out other singles When you're flirting with someone the last thing you want to do is to start checking out other singles around you. It's disrespectful and shows that you're not serious about getting to know the person standing in front of you. 8. Using cheesy pick up lines "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together." Please. If you want to make a good impression, then lose the cheesy one-liners. It says you're desperate and you've been thinking about all of this way too much. 9. Bad breath and poor grooming Sounds simple, but make sure that you've done all the necessary preparation before you go out. Spend time grooming yourself, dressing in clothes that make you feel confident and cleaning those teeth. 10. Talking about dangerous topics Once you start talking to a potential love interest avoid any topics that will give them a sense that you've got baggage. So no discussions about the ex, your financial difficulties, the problems with your family or getting bullied when you were young. It's too heavy and it will frighten people away. Over to you - what types of flirting mistakes do you think you need to avoid? John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship expert For more advice and relationship tips go to www.johnaikenadvice.com]]> tag:blogs.rsvp.com.au,2011://1.319 2011-12-09T00:28:03Z 2011-12-09T00:41:25Z

John http://blogs.rsvp.com.au/movabletype/mt.cgi Dating can sometimes be a lonely and anxious experience that sees you put pressure on yourself to find your ideal partner and to settle down. In this type of headspace you can easily forget that your friends can play a powerful role in keeping you positive and making you feel supported. ]]> See yourself the way others do One of the first ways your friends can step in and help you out with dating is working with you on your online image. They can assist you with the task of choosing the right profile pictures and writing and refining your profile. Often it can be really hard to know what to put down, and your friends will have a unique perspective on your qualities. They can also get you to focus on clarifying your likes and dislikes. A sounding board Your friends can also be really helpful in the selection process. Once you start getting interest from other singles online, it can be a bit overwhelming in terms of who to choose! This is where a helpful eye from a friend can assist you in zeroing in on your more compatible partners. If you've got other single friends dating online, you can also keep an eye out while you search through profiles for members you think your friends might be interested in and vice versa. RSVP has just added a facebook send button to the profile pages, which allows you to discreetly send a private message via facebook suggesting potential matches to your friends. A support crew From there, they can work with you getting ready for the first date. Maybe you need to go shopping with them to revamp your wardrobe, go with you to the gym, help you stick to a more healthy diet, or support you in deciding when and where to have your first face to face date. It will give your confidence knowing that your friend has been in your corner improving your chances all the way through. Moral support Now there's another side to this as well. When you go online, you increase your chances of having dates, but you also increase your chances of having setbacks. This isn't a bad thing - because you need to sift through the wrong ones to get to the right one. However it can be hard on your confidence at times. This is where a friend can really lift you up and help you bounce back. Often we can take dating disappointments too personally, and friends will give you a more positive perspective that allows you to move forward. So what are you waiting for? Reach out and grab a trusted friend and get them involved in your dating approach. Get them to look at your online image and profile, let them in on your selection process and have them assist you in getting ready to go out on dates. And finally, if you're feeling a little flat about things, get them to build you up and help you look at things in a more positive perspective. It doesn't have to be all on your shoulders anymore. Over to you - do you think friends can be useful in your dating approach? John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship expert For more advice and relationship tips go to www.johnaikenadvice.com ]]> tag:blogs.rsvp.com.au,2011://1.318 2011-12-01T22:55:40Z 2011-12-01T23:18:22Z

RSVP With the festive season upon us, no doubt that you will be heading off to the odd Christmas party. ]]> If you can't view the below embedded video, you can watch the video on our YouTube channel here:Christmas Party Etiquette Enjoy the festive season! The RSVP team]]> tag:blogs.rsvp.com.au,2011://1.312 2011-11-24T23:27:48Z 2011-11-24T23:36:04Z

RSVP First impressions count. It's human nature to assess someone or try and sum them up when we first meet. It's said that we make an assessment of someone new in as little as seven seconds.]]> 1. Dress to impress Make and effort and present yourself well but wear clothes you feel good and comfortable in. This is will make you feel more confident and help you act naturally. 2. Remember that you're in it together Don't forget that the person you are meeting is probably nervous too - so you're not alone. 3. Be prepared Have a few topics in your head that you can wheel out if there are gaps, awkward silences or if you get nervous. Open-ended topics and questions around travel are always good and positive. It's best to avoid topics like politics or family questions until you get to know someone a little better. 4. Comfort is key Make sure you are comfortable with the type of date you are going on. If you are not a beach person - don't arrange or agree to go there. Think about a venue or activity that appeals to your interests or hobbies. For example, if you are both into art - try a gallery. If it's movies - go check out a film festival. Doing these types of activities on a first date helps take some of the pressure off and gives you something to talk about other than yourself. 5. Be present Pay attention to what the other person is saying, don't worry about something that happened earlier in the day (or in the date) or is happening tomorrow, do not talk about your ex, and certainly don't answer or keep checking your phone. At the end of the day, it's important to set yourself up so that you feel as comfortable as possible and therefore confident. Put your best foot forward but be true to yourself and honest. Remember, dates are meant to be fun - so try and relax. If you've got any tips to help other dates get over their nerves, we'd love to hear from you. The RSVP Team ]]> tag:blogs.rsvp.com.au,2011://1.311 2011-11-17T23:38:31Z 2011-11-17T23:55:29Z

John http://blogs.rsvp.com.au/movabletype/mt.cgi For many people, dating can be hard enough without adding to the challenges by shooting yourself in the foot with a problem attitude. ]]> 1. Don't take dating personally It's been said many times before - dating is a numbers game. You need to remember you're sifting through the bad to get to the good. It's a process of elimination not rejection. Don't take it personally. If one person doesn't work out - you simply move on to the next one. You have to get out there and date as many people as you can so you can increase your chances as well as get more comfortable with the process. 2. Let go of the past Meeting your ideal partner isn't going to happen if you're still hung up on the past. It's very important that you don't dwell on your ex's or any previous negative dating experiences - but rather learn from them and move on. This may mean having less or no contact with your ex, packing away old reminders and avoiding their family and friends. Start going out to different bars and clubs, stop talking about the past and give yourself an appearance make-over. Anything that allows you to put the past behind you. 3. Rely on your support networks Dating will always have its up's and downs and so you need to lean on your friends and family for support. They can build you up and keep you positive, and if you have a setback they can get you to look at things more objectively and help you bounce back faster. They will be your support team on this journey and will help you to stay on track and make good decisions along the way. 4. Avoid negative talk It's time to stop running yourself down in public, complaining about your love life, blaming past events, and focusing on your weaknesses. This will only result in you creating a negative head space and you'll stay single and feel helpless about your situation. Instead - make a pact with yourself and your friends that you're going to talk and think more positively about your love life. 5. Visualise your ideal partner To keep you positive throughout all of this, you need to be clear about your ideal partner and what you want moving forward. Take some time to think about what exactly you need from a long-term partner and what your deal breakers are. Also, spend some time each day visualising yourself with this new partner - introducing them to your friends and family, being intimate, getting married, having kids, going on holiday together etc. Fill your mind with an image that keeps you focused and positive. Over to you - do you have any suggestions for getting over a negative dating mindset? John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship expert For more advice and free relationship tips go to www.johnaikenadvice.com ]]> tag:blogs.rsvp.com.au,2011://1.310 2011-11-09T22:09:32Z 2011-11-09T22:37:12Z

John http://blogs.rsvp.com.au/movabletype/mt.cgi There are many things that can move your relationship forward from casual to more serious. Deciding to be exclusive, moving in together, getting a joint bank account, saying "I'm in love with you", going away on holiday together, and making future long-term plans will all have this effect. Just as significant as these, is the decision to introduce your new partner to your close friends and family.]]> 1) Are you rushing things? There's no need to rush when introducing your partner to your closest friends and family members. You want to have spent some time getting to know them and seeing how you click together. Give yourself time before moving forward with these introductions so that you know whether your relationship has the potential to go the distance. 2) How do you feel about them? It's not a good idea to introduce new partners to family or friends if you're unsure about how you feel about them. You want to be in love with them and feel secure about your relationship. You also want to have experienced these feelings consistently over a solid period of time. 3) Are you interested in someone else? Forget about introducing your new partner to your social networks if you hold onto feelings for another person, are still dating, or currently sleeping with someone else. Your heart and body needs to be totally committed to one person only if you're going to take it further with introductions. 4) Have you discussed couple values and goals? You want to be on the same page as a couple before catching up with Mum and Dad for Sunday dinner! This means having discussed bigger topics like marriage, having children, living together, finances, religion, parenting styles and sex. You want to be clear about these areas and be working as a team. 5) Will you stand up for them? Before making any introductions to significant people in your life, consider if you're ready and willing to stand up for your new partner? You need to be prepared to support them and stand beside them during these meetings and know that there may be times when you've got to side with them over family or friends. Obviously you hope that this doesn't happen and everybody gets on - but if there are times when they need you to put them first - you want to be certain that you can stand up. It's a great test for how you really feel about them. 6) Would they get on with your kids? Before throwing your new partner into your family and friends network, it's worthwhile considering how you feel about also introducing them to your kids (if you have any)? If you can't really see them mixing well with your little ones - then why waste your time with introducing them to your friends and other family members? You need to be thinking big picture, and they need to give you confidence in this area if you're going to move it forward. Over to you - when do you know it's the right time to meet friends or family? John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship expert For more advice and free relationship tips go to www.johnaikenadvice.com ]]>