RSVP Blog
Is there such a thing as bad flirting?
Flirting, like many other types of subtle social skills, can come a little easier for some than others. You may find it very comfortable to start up a conversation with a potential love interest, say all the right things and make them feel weak at the knees. On the other hand, the whole idea of flirting might make you feel confused and anxious.
Well there are some key things to remember when flirting. At the end of the day, the idea is for the other person to get turned on by you and know that you're interested, rather than turned off and unimpressed.
So here are 10 flirting mistakes to avoid:
1. No eye contact
One of the quickest ways someone can tell that you're interested is by giving them some eye contact. So if you're looking away or down at the ground, you're giving off a signal of disinterest. It also lacks confidence and makes the other person feel unsure of where they stand.
2. Crowding their personal space
People like to have a sense of security around them with their personal space. If you get right up close and crowd this area you're going to give off a pushy and dominant vibe and it's going to make them feel threatened and anxious.
3. Touching inappropriately
You've only just met someone - so it's no time to be putting your hands all over them. This will just scare them off and give them the impression you're only after sex.
4. Being crude and crass
Talking explicitly about sex early on in the conversation, swearing, and being offensive and outspoken in your comments will kill your chances. You're sending a signal that you don't respect the people around you and your manners aren't your strong point.
5. Not asking questions
Standing silently in front of a potential love interest and expecting them to carry the whole conversation is tiresome for them and they'll get bored and frustrated. At the end of the day, people love talking about themselves, so not taking an interest and asking questions isn't going to get you far.
6. Getting too drunk
Drinking too much, slurring your words and getting unsteady on your feet is a turn off. Enough said.
7. Checking out other singles
When you're flirting with someone the last thing you want to do is to start checking out other singles around you. It's disrespectful and shows that you're not serious about getting to know the person standing in front of you.
8. Using cheesy pick up lines
"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together." Please. If you want to make a good impression, then lose the cheesy one-liners. It says you're desperate and you've been thinking about all of this way too much.
9. Bad breath and poor grooming
Sounds simple, but make sure that you've done all the necessary preparation before you go out. Spend time grooming yourself, dressing in clothes that make you feel confident and cleaning those teeth.
10. Talking about dangerous topics
Once you start talking to a potential love interest avoid any topics that will give them a sense that you've got baggage. So no discussions about the ex, your financial difficulties, the problems with your family or getting bullied when you were young. It's too heavy and it will frighten people away.
Over to you - what types of flirting mistakes do you think you need to avoid?
John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship expert
For more advice and relationship tips go to www.johnaikenadvice.com
Posted by December 16, 2011 9:51 AM
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Latest Comments
Every man loves a dirty girl
Whether she flirts with her eyes, her mouth, her legs, her body, her words...
"Come" she says... "Come... with me"
Ooooohh la la it's getting hot in here!!!
Hahaha
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at February 22, 2012 6:28 PM
Don't mind oblivion at all... Or the unknown - no matter what, it'll always be ok...
As for bad flirting... Thoroughly enjoying indecency atm - the dirty side of flirting... Uh huh lol and if you havent tried "dirty", I recommend you try it. Go on!!! Be a dirty girl or a dirty boy!
Don't be shy. Life is too short not to experience BOTH SIDES - good AND bad :-)
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at February 19, 2012 9:08 PM
Hi, LLTD.
There is no government or major institution such as a church that I am aware of that is not about controlling the masses. A few years ago, political correctness became all the rage but just what was it? Nothing but another attempt to control John and Mary Citizen. Even the Russian Bolshevicks used it for just that purpose back in 1917.
Orthodox religion of any creed, colour, shape or persuasion has always been about the same thing, controlling the masses.
Quote:
Are we not in danger of sanitising ourselves into oblivion?"
Unquote.
Yes, we are in danger of just that, but also of having a LOT of the fun taken out of our lives. Taken?????? A lot of what used to be fun when I was growing up is now either illegal, immoral or 'fattening'. Can't have been too bad. I survived it all and I ain't the only one.
Just my 0.02.
You have a wonderful day.
Best wishes.
Peacefulsixty.
"
Posted by: peacefulsixty at February 19, 2012 5:25 PM
Bad flirting, or is it a matter of cultural stigma?
A woman flirting can be seen as "she is easy", and when a man flirts, its sexual harassment. It appears that for Europeans flirting is a national past time, 24/7, male female, young and old, there are no barriers nor taboos.
Indeed, there is a healthy acceptance and appreciation of the gender differences.
In fact, sexual polarity is revered. People in tune with themselves, with an open disposition, quick wit and cheeky, ready smile, are social magnets.
Are we not in danger of sanitising ourselves into oblivion?
Posted by: ladylikestodance at February 18, 2012 11:15 AM
Bigman
No I haven't changed.
You (and whoever the fence sitters are) have just got to know me a bit better after judging me when I first came onto the boards lol
Tis the nature of familiarity amongst bloggers...
Either way the opinions of others don't particularly bother me
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at February 14, 2012 1:03 PM
Hi Ladymustang66,
If his "dance" is unsuitable, surely we should take off early as it's unlikely it will get much better. As you say, we have morals and emotions, we are generally aiming to mate for life so why commit to someone unsuitable for that long?
This obviously applies equally to both genders.
cheers,
Barb
Posted by: barbaraw at February 14, 2012 12:54 PM
@peaceful....re clarification
im blonde irish heritage may come across as umm....but really am with it just doont, like to get boged down in the semantics of it all.... am open to great conversation and digester of thoughts... but for me!! on the boards like to keep it light and simple....and i did get what you meant although my response may of come across as simple..not definable...as it truth my reponse would of been i dont have a baker or oven???.. ...simple straight to the point lol lol lol
but if we start looking at perspective partners as just sperm and hormones ...(yeah yeah yeah) no pun please !!!!!! then it becomes more than a game of statistics....we all know about perpetual sperm donors, that may not even be in any form or may never have a consistent relationship...then we have women who just have child after child regardless of the "farmer". .....some animals have a very ridgid to say the least, reproduction cycle....
and regardless of species there still has to be some kind of mating ritual??? also in said ritual it is not uncommon for usally femal to leave the performance to find a more suitable mate...if his love dance, whisperings cojoling, ect is unsuitable to her tastes...
however...i like to think on many levels we as humans are(statistically) above that as we have emotions, morals ect to add to the mix....
ms mussey not really a dossey lol lol ....
Posted by: ladymustang66 at February 14, 2012 9:30 AM
Hi, Ladymustang66.
Thank you for your kind comments on my previous post. How-wevver, I feel a little clarification is in order.
The 'other side' to which I referred has to do the differing roles/approaches to procreation of males and females. The males of most species of mammals, homo sapiens included, are programmed to ensure that their genes are passed on by mating with and inseminating as many females as possible - the 'sowing wild oats' strategy.
The females of almost all species of mammals have a different approach. Instinctively, they KNOW that the very nature of their role in the reproductive process means that they only have a limited number of 'shots' at passing on their genes. For this reason, they try to select the male who will give them the best offspring and be the best protector and provider for those offspring to sire said offspring - the 'best farmer' strategy.
I hope this clarifies my earlier statement.
BTW, you are welkum to any and all help that any of my posts may provide.
You have a wonderful day.
Best wishes.
Peacefulsixty.
Posted by: peacefulsixty at February 13, 2012 8:52 PM
hey peaceful nice to hear from you....
definatley agree it has to be about morals and what brings the peace and love -:) afraid im a find the best farmer type of gal.!!!!....and i do feel that cyberspace or not if you are interacting with a person on levels deeper than chit chat and contentions on the boards.. and emotions have been invested well, ...for ME my morals have been calling out even though attentions are flatering it would just be as you said telling fibbies and thats not me...my rhythm would be all out...and i would skid instead of roll :):) the backside of said "first shirt' is my beat....
thanks again peacefull when i have been having moral dilemmas travelling this new path im on you pop in...will be extra gratful in my blessings this night..... tanks once again
sorry but not into the "other side" i belive we all on same side some just have not realised it yet lol
Ms Mussey no longer fussey xx
Posted by: ladymustang66 at February 12, 2012 9:21 PM
Hi, LadyMustang66.
Yer know, it's a funny thing but, even though I am supposedly on the 'other side' of the procreational selection team - sow wild oats everywhere as opposed to choose best 'farmer', if you will - I too have asked myself those same questions.
There have been times when I have received kisses from several INTERESTING ladies within the space of a day or two and have asked myself about the morals and ethics of communicating with more than one lady at a time. I seriously doubt that there is or will ever be a definitive answer. I think it is pretty much up to the individual and their own personal code.
To me, it is not unlike telling lies. When you start telling lies, you then have to start remembering what lies you have told to whom and even when and why you told them. Too much like hard work for this LBD. The truth is easier 'cos it's always the same - - - unless 'Oldtimer's' sets in anf then it can vary 'of it's own accord'.
To further confuse the debate, many, MANY years ago, there used to be message T-shirts around that read, "If it feels good, do it." The backside of that one might be, "If it doesn't feel good, don't do it." Not much help at all, huh?
On a slightly different note, there also used to be T-shirts that read, "I feel good, FEEL me." I have been known to use that one in reply to queries about how I am.
Just my 0.02.
You have a wonderful day.
Best wishes.
Peacefulsixty.
Posted by: peacefulsixty at February 12, 2012 5:47 PM
@ bigman9...well ive been trying to form a conclusion to this question that sits right "for me" I belive im allowing self to constrict own view due to morals ect...however this a judgement on self NOT OTHERS .... am aware and know this is not healthy but getting back on the wagon is raising issuse that i thought were well learnt and settled however life changes so do we..we grow we rotate we slide... in saying that .... my questions are.......
Is it bad firting to be flirty with more than one person from site...does cyberspace give us permission to act in a way otherwise against our own core beliefs..or own moral code and we all have it regardless of how open and honest we are..does the freedom of anonymity, give us the permission to act in a way that could potentially be harmful to contact or even selfs own worth...how do contacts know if it is harmless flirting or....flirting to get their attention...
If we trifle with emotions how far can we go? not all people are wired to cope with being toyed with so how do we gauge via cyberspace whether the person we are "Flirting with is on same level" is there such a thing as "a little bit of harmless flirting"....yes it can boost ones self validation but can that be at the expense of somones emotions????
This then raises the question for Moi if chatting and flirting with more than one person... does that also extend going for meets?? is there rules in this day and age are morals still a viable commodity in ones identity or does cyberspace also rule that???
Ms Mussy
Posted by: ladymustang66 at February 12, 2012 4:23 PM
Well, now I know I'm getting soft if the unique one says I've mellowed. Best dust off the mongrel suit and fire up!
However, I think I know why. There's no-one writing anything controversial to get stirred up about. Come on people, these boards are supposed to be where you can be aggressive and confrontational. The moderators will edit if we go too far.
How about a few disagreements, surely everyone can't agree all the time.
Is there such a thing as bad flirting? Who cares? Flirting is just that, flirting. It's the interpretation that causes the problem. If you're a rabid feminist, the mere action of having a man hold open the door for you is likely to set you off into a fit of rage. If you're a milksop, you won't even notice.
Unique, a nudist retreat won't make you more comfortable with your nudity. Only you can feel comfortable with it, isn't that the creed you live by? And yes, you have changed greatly, hopefully all the fence sitters may take up the challenge and tell you how you've changed.
The internet is anonymous folks! That's its beauty. If you're sick and tired of comments from specific people, or the way they write, or what they write, say something!!
big, hopefully a little bit more aggressive and confrontational!!
Posted by: thebigman9 at February 7, 2012 4:28 PM
lol as I wrote before (UNashamedly)
yes - no precaution or protection was used
yes - I have morphed and am happy to have challenged my belief systems. With it has come a change for the better
I don't think I've changed much apart from sexual inhibition. Still working on being comfortable with nudity though lol - wanna do a nudist retreat for that one!
You on the other hand have changed significantly Bigman - you have become less aggressive and confrontational lol
Either way, you are beautifully the raw and real deal. Keep being you :-)
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at February 6, 2012 10:01 PM
Wow, haven't you changed over the past few months our unique one? It's been quite revealing to chart your attitude adjustments since you've started getting 'some' on a regular basis.
The staid, old-fashioned girl we first met has morphed into a 21st century girl who's advocating jumping into bed on the first date, if the chemistry's there! However, it is a bit hard to see how much precaution can be used if you're in bed within minutes of meeting each other?
I'm sure there's a witty reposte on the way.
big, eagerly waiting for the reply!!
Posted by: thebigman9 at February 6, 2012 11:05 AM
Bed hopping aye? lol
Now - about the people looking for sex straight away... If there's chemistry then Hell yeah!
Using protection and precaution etc of course
If a mangoes he better go good and hard though lol
Hahaha
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at February 1, 2012 4:35 PM
Hi, Shazzam5.
The crabs have gotten bigger, brighter and better since I first saw that one in a toilet in Denmark, down on the South Coast of W.A.. back when I was about 12 years old. They could only jump six feet then.
Which blog was that post in, Shaz?
You have a wonderful day.
Best wishes.
Peacefulsixty.
Posted by: peacefulsixty at February 1, 2012 3:32 PM
Yes I received one of those on the very first message. Maybe they should have on their profiles looking for sex straight away in red letters, and then you can refuse contact in the first place.
Posted by: timesrightnow1 at January 31, 2012 8:35 PM
Hi, Singlejoy.
There may be toilets in Cardwell with those labels on them but the ones that I saw were in a backpacker hostel in Cairns - can't remember the name but it was only about two streets from the main drag and about one block the port side of the highway.
Hi, Imgina.
I think it was run by Aussies at the time - 1996. There were several English backpackers there at the time doing casual cleaning and gardening work to help pay their bills or build up their cash reserves.
I remember it very clearly 'cos I had an interesting experience there with 'bed-hopping'.
Y'all hava wonderful day.
Best wishes.
Peacefulsixty.
Posted by: peacefulsixty at January 31, 2012 8:16 PM
This is a bit off the subject, but the loos Mangoes and Nomangoes are attached to the cafe in the heart of Cardwell. It's the most popular spot to stop for food, drink and to fill up.
It used to have such a lovely lawned area with picnic tables etc overlooking the ocean. But I think Yasi managed to destroy all of that and the sand ended up on the road!
Posted by: singlejoy at January 31, 2012 6:57 PM
Hi guys, Having lived up that way for a while, there are many toilets with that particular logo. One memorable one in Brissy, is "Dont bother standing on the toilet seat, coz Brisbane crabs jump ten feet" ! I saw that about 30 years ago and still laugh..... Soft and Sweet, yes have had a couple of those. It is also funny to go back and read the chat and try to work out how it went off the rails.
Peaceful, posted a beauty last night but appears to be moderated out. Play nice kiddies. S xx
Posted by: shazzam5 at January 31, 2012 6:39 PM
That's in Cardwell peaceful...on the Bruce Hwy, and it's one of my fav spots up here. But Cyclone Yasi pretty much demolished it! However, I think the loos survived!
Posted by: singlejoy at January 31, 2012 6:05 PM
What i dislike is when someone sends you a chat message and starts to talk about sex and then thinks because you are a mature single lady you should be grateful and fall into their arms especially when i have just said that what i want from them is just friendship. I consider this bad flirting online.
Posted by: softandsweet at January 31, 2012 4:32 PM
Peaceful, re Jan 30, 10.38 PM.
Hehehe, that's funny. Who ran the Hostel? non-Aussies? lol.
ciao, G.
Posted by: imgina at January 31, 2012 3:00 PM
Hi, Oh Unique One.
Toilets and showers in a backpacker hostel where I stayed up in Cairns were labelled 'Mangoes' and "No Mangoes'.
Go figure.
You have a wonderful day.
Best wishes.
Peacefulsixty.
Posted by: peacefulsixty at January 30, 2012 10:28 PM
Heard this one?
Do you like mangoes?
Wanna see how THIS man goes?
Hahaha
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at January 25, 2012 6:05 AM
Ah Bigman, I wish I could avoid the bogans! sadly their numbers are increasing. Usually when I go to my local Irish I go with my sons who keep a fairly close watch, but during the night we get separated that's usually when someone tries it on. I should just be more aloof.
There is no great mystery to my name, I wish it had a funny story, but alas no.
A workmate told me it was a rare thing to find a lady in my area, bit harsh as there are a few of us, but he meant it as a compliment to me. So there it is.
Hope you enjoyed your lunch, cheers, M
Posted by: lady3152 at January 22, 2012 4:54 PM
Hi imgina, thanks for your comments. I mainly have trouble when out socially though, guess I am just a bit naive. Funny thing is, when I worked in security I was able to spot a drunk a mile off and deal with him or her, but in social situations I'm a complete nonce!
Bigman, I saw your profile, as you did mine, and having read some of your comments on these blogs you seem a very decent and honest man. I do hope you are better soon, and if you are tired of the rain, we could use some down here!
Cheers, M
Posted by: lady3152 at January 22, 2012 1:09 PM
Gina, I think lady3152 was probably referring to drunk bogans in clubs, pubs and other venues, not on RSVP. Lady3152 (interesting profile name, I suspect there's a good and probably amusing story behind it), I'd suggest there's really only one answer and I'm sure you know what it is Don't go to places where the bogans inhabit!! That may be difficult as you may like going for the music, or dancing or just to meet new people, but, if it's becoming too much to cope with, unfortunately you're not faced with many options.
Who do you go with? If you go alone or with only 1 or 2 friends, maybe going in a larger group will deflect some of the attention away from you. If you are at a music/dance venue, I'm only guessing here and am probably way off track, don't dance on your own, only hit the floor with friends. Apart from these suggestions I can't offer much else. I'm not a club/pub/music/dance venue goer so have basically no experience going up to a woman in those places asking for a conversation.
The other option is to just knee the guy in the balls!!
big, waiting now for lunch!!
PS Gina I'm getting much better so thanks for asking.
Posted by: thebigman9 at January 22, 2012 11:40 AM
Posted by Big at 11.55 AM.
Big, reading your blogg made me giggle.
How are you progressing with your health?
Lady3152, there's no need to use foul language to avoid bothersome men. I never do and they get the message. If you've already explained to them that they are not your type, then don't respond to any telephone messages or return their calls. They'll get the hint.....eventually.
You and I are from a different era in which our children were brought up. They seem to think that's it's ok to be rude to these admirers. It's not like these unwanted admirers are rude to us so why should we be rude.
ciao, G.
Posted by: imgina at January 21, 2012 4:47 PM
amber and lltd, thank you for your comments but you are both way off track. In your examples the speaker's sentence structure was still evident. "He f*ing didn't f*ing know what he was f*ing doing, as you do!", is a lot different to, "He like you know didn't whatever like you know know like what he was like doing you know, like as you know whatever you like do whatever!!" I'm confused just writing it let alone hearing it and trying to decipher exactly what was being said.
big, now waiting for lunch still listening to the rain pour down!!
Posted by: thebigman9 at January 21, 2012 11:55 AM
I love a good flirt! A good dose of witty repartee with a charming Gentleman makes my day. Like it even more when we both know it's just a bit of fun and no harm intended. Ladies, a question though, how does one avoid the bothersome drunk bogan without having to resort to rudeness? My sons say I am too polite but I don't want to use foul language or have to rely on security. I know this sounds silly coming from someone my age, but I was spoken for at 20 & didn't have many dates before that, too busy working.
Posted by: lady3152 at January 21, 2012 10:46 AM
Amber, unfortunately those "extra" words are not exclusive to the younger generation.
Indeed, was at a party recently, and chatting to a mature (60+) heavily accented (charming) British femme. She concluded most sentences with "as you do" - not so cute after a couple of minutes.
Posted by: ladylikestodance at January 18, 2012 1:36 PM
I think the use of those kinds of 'extra' words in conversation isn't only exclusive to the younger generation Big.
I once knew a guy who was only a few years younger than me who used to say f*kin' every second word.
As in he f'in' did that - and she f'in' said that.
I used to cringe every time he spoke - and he was quite a loud talker!
But he must have eventually learned not to do it - as last time I heard he was a Church Elder :)
Posted by: amberlightrose at January 17, 2012 5:05 PM
amber, I wasn't commenting on where the lady worked, it just happened to be McDonalds in this instance.I know how hard those kids work as both my daughters worked at one for a couple of years each. Actually, they were both working the day McDonalds Sutton Forest, on the Hume H'Way an hour and a half south of Sydney, set a National Record for a day's takings!
What I was commenting on, however, was the ridiculous over-usage of the word. How it's infesting the speech of today's youth, how they have absolutely no idea how ridiculous they sound and how employers are not going to be overly impressed when these kids can't string two words together without saying 'like', or 'you know', or 'whatever'!!
It's like you know whatever hard to like you know like understand you know what like they're like saying whatever you know like.
big, like, you know, whatever!!
Posted by: thebigman9 at January 17, 2012 12:09 PM
Don't be too hard on her Big.
Those poor kids work REALLY hard and she probably didn't even have the mind-set or time to understand any nuances.
In fact she probably thought you were just being ANOTHER 'smart-arse" to be honest.
My daughter works in retail and she tells me often - MOST people are nice.
But around 1 in 10 - sometimes more on a bad day - are either rude, sarcastic or just down-right nasty and aggressive.
I am sure in a McDonald's drive through with probably 100's of people every hour - all wanting service and their meal in less than 3 minutes, you would suffer a fair bit of customer 'fatigue' - and more than your fair share every day - of cranky, sarcastic people!
So no real example of the lack of intelligence of our future leaders I am most certain :)
At least she was willing to work in a fairly exhausting and often thankless job.
In my experience McDonald's workers are some of the nicest people when it comes to customer service you can ever meet :)
Posted by: amberlightrose at January 15, 2012 4:58 PM
PS. It's a major bugbear of mine the frequency our younger generation use the word 'like' in every sentence and almost always incorrectly.
The 'best' one I've ever heard came at a McDonalds drive thru when the young lady said: "Would you like like a drink with that"? When I asked what is like a drink she just looked at me as if I had three heads and horns growing from them! I started to explain it to her but her totally blank, expressionless stare easily convinced me I was wasting my breath.
And these kids are the future leaders of our country! God help us!!
big, lunch has arrived!!
Posted by: thebigman9 at January 15, 2012 12:00 PM
danto, this comment is a bit late in coming but, as I'm sitting here with not much to do, I've been having a good read of the blogs and re-read your question about flirting as a sales tool.
It is a good question which unique may have correctly answered. But, is it all about the money? I suspect it may well be but could it also simply be that the sales person in question is just very friendly, enjoys his/her job and uses subtle flirting as a way of making the customer feel safe and relaxed?
I'd much rather deal with a salesperson who engages me in friendly banter than some imbecile who can't be bothered even addressing my concerns, queries, or questions. Unfortunately, it's been my experience that the younger the salesperson the more uninterested they are in their job. And the situation is worse in the larger chain stores. There, the salespeople act as though they are doing you a tremendous favour simply by acknowledging you are alive. They rarely have anything beyond rudimentary product knowedge, can barely converse without saying 'like' every second word, are invariably chewing gum trying to hide the cigarette smell from enveloping you and frequently smell like they've just been fighting a major fire!
It is a great surprise when you find a salesperson who treats you with respect, is courteous, knows their product and takes pride in their appearance and work. In that case I don't care how much she flirts with me. We both know the ground rules, we both know it's harmless and we both know it's only happening to get me to buy said product. And, if it works, she's been successful.
big, waiting for lunch on a really shitty Sydney day.
Posted by: thebigman9 at January 15, 2012 11:54 AM
Hi, Frangelico1960
Get enough drinks into you and the line seems to disappear (in the) altogether.
(From someone who hasn't hadda drink in 30 years.)
You have a wonderful day.
Best wishes.
Peacefulsixty.
Posted by: peacefulsixty at January 12, 2012 5:32 PM
So fran, should I therefore have ordered Irish tea when we met the other week? Hope you're enjoying Canada. Found any good-looking Mounties to bring home? I know their motto is, "Mounties always get their man", but I'm sure we can substitute woman!!
big, hopefully not crossing the line.
Posted by: thebigman9 at January 12, 2012 4:57 PM
I find it interesting that the flirtometer rises comparitively with every drink consumed. Its times like these where there can be a fine line between flirting and crossing said line.
Posted by: frangelico1960 at January 11, 2012 6:05 PM
It seems that ANYTHING in the work place can be turned into something unsavory when its predominantly male lol
But I tell you what.
I don't stop laughing from start to end of my day. I wouldn't change it for a thing. A big believer in dishing it straight back lol
Its almost like everything that's said has a double meaning and it gets confusing for ME at the best of times. The great ting about it is we can all pretend its innocent while we laugh and wink or blink a few times
Hahaha
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at January 11, 2012 4:26 PM
Anytime we flirt, we open ourselves up to the question, "what if..."?
Posted by: ladylikestodance at January 11, 2012 1:50 PM
Amber,
Yes, I know that was a bit naughty but I will always think of you as Amber; even though we have corresponded privately and know your real name you will be Always Amber - that should be a bit less ambigious.
Barb W,
I have had a few things blow up in my face, some of them my fault, some of them not, hence the burns, but I am not complaining; I just regard it as Life.
Burntabit
Posted by: burntabit at January 9, 2012 11:23 AM
Burntabit
Aww ... how many of of us wish our name was Amber! Who could ever have burned you, you lovely man?
cheers,
Barb
Posted by: barbaraw at January 9, 2012 12:51 AM
Thanks Burntabit (I think) :)
Now that lady's life WAS filled with drama......
Posted by: amberlightrose at January 8, 2012 11:11 PM
"Feets, start walking"! I'm off to SA. What corner are you going to be on amber? Don't bother telling me, I reckon I'd just have to follow the line and you'll be at the end of it!!!!!!!!!!!
big, fanning himself rapidly!!
PS You know I'm not supposed to be engaging in any activity that might raise my Blood Pressure.
Posted by: thebigman9 at January 8, 2012 5:45 PM
I don't understand Big -
Amberlight is the real name of a rose - and I love roses of all kinds.
So are you saying I should be standing under a red light in fishnets, short skirt wearing a red wig, with a red rose in my teeth?
Posted by: amberlightrose at January 8, 2012 11:44 AM
That's not the ugly, green jealousy monster rearing her horns is it unique about my bed being single? Actually I'd be interested to know from whom you gleaned that titbit of information. I haven't had any visitors apart from family and I'm sure my hospital visit hasn't made the 6pm Nine news. Yet!!
barb, you asked for an explanation so I gave you one.
amber, I definitely think we need to change your name to REDlightrose!!! But it is more comfortable than the previous one thanks for asking.
Posted by: thebigman9 at January 7, 2012 7:44 PM
Posted by: thebigman9 at January 6, 2012 8:34 PM
What's the mattress like?
Posted by: amberlightrose at January 6, 2012 11:52 PM
Ha, what the hell have your heads got to do with the issue at hand. You really should stay on topic you know.
Still off topic, very pleased about your private room :-))
cheers,
Barb
Posted by: barbaraw at January 6, 2012 10:55 PM
No explanation forthcoming. I'm a male. All our decisions are ruled by our 'little' head not our 'big' head!!
big, in a truly, sensational, single, quiet private hospital room!!
Posted by: thebigman9 at January 6, 2012 8:34 PM
It may not be directly associated to this post however flirting as a means of customer service, is it exploitation of your sex or a legitimate sales technique? Whether it be the pretty girl behind the counter at the gym flirting with every man that passes by to drum up memberships or the young salesman in the business suit being overly sweet to the female customers to gain their business, regardless of the fact that they may be taken or not. Do people generally think that this is a bad thing or is it just something that must be taken with a grain of salt?
Posted by: danto at January 6, 2012 6:12 PM
Ooooooohhhhhhh, now I get it :-)
That's easy, he made them laugh and if you can do that you're half way there!
Ok, now you explain why you changed from "any male with any brains at all, will steer well clear of anything that even remotely could be considered flirting" to
"why can't I just 'rock up to some random stranger in the street and start flirting with them'?" in the blink of an eye?
cheers,
Barb
Posted by: barbaraw at January 6, 2012 5:55 PM
Ah that flirt fatigue lol
I had a dose of dating fatigue 3 months back that totally buggered me out. But that's what you get when line up 6 dates in one week lol
Flirting though? Its all just fun to me and God knows I could do with a bit of fun after being such a literal and serious analytic lol
I guess for ME, its what they call catch up time lol. Thank you to those who know its just fun :-)
To those who see it as inappropriate, I once wore your shoes. Since then, I've jumped the fence and experienced the other side lol. It isn't as bad as I once perceived it.
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at January 6, 2012 4:15 PM
Ah barb, what am I going to do with you? The explanation sought was how could a guy score on a regular basis with that introductory line not about our short thread!!
Posted by: thebigman9 at January 6, 2012 7:57 AM
Is there such a thing as bad flirting?
Maybe, maybe not, depends on your point of view.
Look what's happening all through the blogs? Venting, sharing, learning, entertaining banter, fun and bonding.
Witty intellectual intercourse is food for the soul; some do it better than others, some are more experienced, some have a personality that leaps of the screen. Some are on topic (with profound commentary), and amidst the serious airing and sharing, there exists the fluff - just to keep the whole experience, REAL.
I could do with more flirting and humour in my day! What could be nicer than making another person feel good, smile or laugh?
Say no to flirt fatigue!
Posted by: ladylikestodance at January 5, 2012 8:14 PM
Oh golly
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at January 5, 2012 6:34 PM
Posted by: thebigman9 at January 4, 2012 10:03 AM
Posted by: barbaraw at January 4, 2012 2:51 PM
Posted by: thebigman9 at January 5, 2012 12:35 AM
Dear Mr Big,
I do understand that you are sleep-deprived, in a great deal of pain and drugged to the eyeballs.
That notwithstanding, would you mind, at your convenience of course, reading these three posts in chronological order and then tell me precisely what it is that I am supposed to be explaining to YOU!!!!
cheers,
Barb
Posted by: barbaraw at January 5, 2012 4:45 PM
And if it IS something MORE?
And if 2 people hook up as a result, that's great! It will have been yet another experience - and one of many more to come
if everything comes to an end, what is there to look forward to you ask?
Worry about today wit love. Enjoy it while you have it because nothing is certain about tomorrow. And with that, I say flirt away like there Is no tomorrow lol
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at January 5, 2012 4:33 PM
Flirting, any flavour anytime; cheeky, smart, witty, funny, intriguing... bring it on I say.
Be Brave, be Bold, be Brazen!
You'll never know, if you never go!
Posted by: ladylikestodance at January 5, 2012 1:47 PM
Can you all be less bloody polite with the flirting? Its almost as if people are afraid of being perceived as flirty !
Granted that shocks might be mixed and taken the wrong way but we're adults here aren't we?
Id advise to take it as fun.
Definitely better than hoping it might be something more.
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at January 5, 2012 12:08 PM
Barbaraw, and why can't I just 'rock up to some random stranger in the street and start flirting with them'? Okay I might snag the occasional slap in the face but, if you don't ask you don't get do you?
An old, old, old schoolmate of mine used to employ a very, simple tactic when he went out clubbing. He saw a woman he liked and asked straight up, "do you want to f@#k?" He had a better 'batting' average than everyone else in our circle!!!!!!! Admittedly he also scored more black eyes than the rest of us combined!
To quote that other great Australian ranga, "Please explain?"
Posted by: thebigman9 at January 5, 2012 12:35 AM
Hey Big,
I wasn't aware that I was writing from a 'woman's point of view' and I wasn't suggesting that you rock up to some random stranger in the street and start flirting with them. I agree with you about sex discrimination laws but, don't forget, they apply equally to women as men.
"I think it's okay when you get to know someone and you understand, or can intuite, their reactions to your flirting."
I do believe that's pretty much what I said!
As for court cases, defamation suits etc, surely there has to be a complaint made first! I think we're all reasonably civil on these blogs and even outside them we're entitled to exchange views and explore ideas fairly robustly without being hauled off to court.
Anyway, I'd rather take the risk and have some fun.
cheers,
Barb
Posted by: barbaraw at January 4, 2012 2:51 PM
Oh barb, are you way of course with that comment? It may well be 'intuition' from a woman's point of view as to whether or not the flirting is harmless but, in this day and age with the ridiculously over-the-top sex discrimination laws, any male with any brains at all, will steer well clear of anything that even remotely could be considered flirting.
I think it's okay when you get to know someone and you understand, or can intuite, their reactions to your flirting. I know you say all parties need to be on the same page but they also need to be speaking the same language for it to be considered 'enjoyable, energising, harmless fun'.
The banter that goes on within the confines of the blogs is 'enjoyable, energising, harmless fun'. But I suggest if anything similar is said outside this safety and security it would move rapidly into the harassment phase.
People interpret things differently constantly. Look at the verbal stoushes amber, you, me, unique, peaceful and others have been able to enjoy on here. Take that 'outside' and there'd be court cases, defamation suits and who-knows-what-else.
I wish it were different but, unfortunately, I think we hae to face the fact that 'enjoyable, energising, harmless fun' flirting doesn't exist anymore.
big, out.
Posted by: thebigman9 at January 4, 2012 10:03 AM
Flirting = enjoyable, energising, harmless fun - as long as all participants are on the same page. How do you read the page? With your intuition of course! As far as flirting is concerned, intuition is really the only arrow in your quiver. If in doubt - retreat and re-evaluate!
cheers,
Barb
Posted by: barbaraw at January 3, 2012 11:58 PM
Let me assure you that I am able to swallow everything with great ease lol
But you already know that lol
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at January 3, 2012 8:58 PM
Hi, ooouniqueooo.
That 'touch' on the keypad again?????????
In vino veritas?
No, I don't think it was bad flirting when the question about 'foot size' was directed to me but there are some situations where you might need to have your self defence training well and truly brushed up when using that line.
I can 'swallow' too, but possibly not from the same sorts of fountains that you might swallow from. Then again, I don't know for sure what fountains you might swallow from. LOL.
You have a wonderful day.
Best wishes.
Peacefulsixty.
Posted by: peacefulsixty at January 3, 2012 4:39 PM
Posted by: ladylikestodance at January 3, 2012 8:19 AM
For those who know moi, it would be easy to spot that this post is not in keeping with my character. Peaceful, how's the heart honey??
Indeed, it is the Unique One - at it again from my computer!!!!
Posted by: ladylikestodance at January 3, 2012 1:55 PM
oh yes... bad flirting
peaceful, was that bad flirting last night when i asked you about what size your
*cough*
feet were? lol
another thing I live by... if you can dish it, make sure you can swallow baby
hahaha
Posted by: ladylikestodance at January 3, 2012 8:19 AM
Well Big you gave me a good laugh as I took a trip down memory lane and remembered some our "better" sex and a time when hope, love and commitment still held strong within me... Needless to say things disintegrated and I moved on. Now, like others I have no tolerance for disrespecting myself in this manner (or any other for that matter). I find it interesting watching my married friends snip and snipe at each other over anything (I think this may be referred to as oral sex??) and it makes me so glad and grateful that this will never be a part of my life.
Posted by: tinkerbelle57 at January 2, 2012 9:44 PM
Hi, ooouniqueooo.
Damn!!!!!! Is that what I did wrong. I never was much good at tip-toeing - size 10 feet.
If it's lifeless, I'll try 'first aid'. If that doesn't work, don't worry about the 'paramedics'. I'm gone.
You all have a wonderful 2012.
Best wishes.
Peacefulsixty.
Posted by: peacefulsixty at January 2, 2012 9:34 AM
Posted by: thebigman9 at December 31, 2011 7:48 PM
Yes Big we got it - but what is the old proverb: "Many a true word is spoken in jest"?
I also concur with Barb :)
Posted by: amberlightrose at January 1, 2012 9:30 AM
Hahahahaha - serves you right Mr Big - you sounded so plausible! That is, to anyone who hasn't followed certain previous blogs of yours.
cheers,
Barb
Posted by: barbaraw at December 31, 2011 11:01 PM
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at December 31, 2011 4:09 PM
Couldn't agree more Unique - when it becomes like that - it is really sad for both of them.
There is no 'advantage' to anyone in that kind of relationship just a slow death of both people's spirits.
Time to either do something to re-kindle the love or move on - I think :)
Posted by: amberlightrose at December 31, 2011 5:20 PM
That is what I call lifeless
And something I would never remain in.
Married folk don't chase. They have to tip toe lol
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at December 31, 2011 4:09 PM
But the advantage is married folk don't have to go chasing it!! And, you don't have to impress with staying power, stamina, skill and ability. She's just looking at the ceiling thinking of all the things she'd rather be doing and he's just interested in getting to the finish line asap!!!!
big, out.
Posted by: thebigman9 at December 31, 2011 10:53 AM
Kisskat
swinging both ways has its advantages
(I hear)
lol
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at December 31, 2011 7:59 AM
Yeah so bad flirting
in the work place - married folk
we all know that married folk get less action than single folks (generally speaking)
Not good to tease them
*shakes head*
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at December 28, 2011 4:47 PM
Good to hear you feeling better Bizzygirl. We should meet up!!!
I went through that same "one of the boys" happy go lucky free spirit who got labelled a flirt by girls who were jealous too lol
Geeze. The price we say for simply being happy and friendly lol.
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at December 27, 2011 4:11 PM
Hi Unique,
You caught me....I think I was a little uptight when I wrote that. I'm feeling better now. Christmas without my boy and all. I'm feeling a lot better now. :)
Posted by: bizzygurl at December 27, 2011 2:02 PM
Hi, Kisskat65.
XXXXXXOXXXXXX
((((((((((.)))))))))))
Not only the girls.
I have no problem with guys being gay so long as they leave me out of their 'gay-ness' - reduces the competition.
On the other hand, attractive and intelligent women being interested only in women reduces the pool of available 'talent' which appears to me to be a waste but to each their own and I suspect that your 'mould' is already cast in other directions anyway.
Just my 0.02.
You all have a wonderful day.
Best wishes.
Peacefulsixty.
Posted by: peacefulsixty at December 27, 2011 1:49 PM
i sure am feelin the love from the girls........maybe i should reassess my ideal partner!? lol
Posted by: kisskat65 at December 27, 2011 7:08 AM
Well
Now that I'm "hooked up" I can't carry on like a little hussy anymore but kissakat, I think I love you
LOL
Bizzygirl, what up?
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at December 26, 2011 11:09 PM
Hi Girls :)
I think we all know there are different kinds of flirting .. there is the harmless playful kind that is pretty much generic. No attraction required, no intention meant just some cute flirtatious fun. Usually leaving both parties with a smile.
And then there is the other kind of flirting ...target driven and purposeful. This can also be fun but not necessarily always harmless and often causes rise to more than a smile. :)
Some women (and we have all witnessed this Im sure) break rules as to who is fair game for this second kind of flirting.
Thats poor form and "bad flirting".
To Bizzygirl :)
Not sure we should judge people as being "uptight" if they feel insecure in their relationship.
They certainly need to examine things themselves but nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors that may lead to the insecurity.
But you're right Bizzygirl .. its definitely not the "third parties fault".
:)
Posted by: sweeetlillee at December 26, 2011 3:23 PM
hi bizzygurl, it is easier for people to blame others for what is wrong in their lives than to look internally. you obviously have a natural way with men, dont let others shoot you down for that, take it as a compliment and enjoy the fact that you are able to communicate freely. the uptight will find something new to complain about, lol.
Posted by: kisskat65 at December 26, 2011 8:16 AM
Flirting hey ....... kinda like a game of tennis - doesn't work if it is one way. Regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation, flirting is fun, as long as the "flirting partner" joins the game. As with tennis, the closer in proximity (i.e. closer to the net), possibly the more intense it can become, and may lead to "post match" drinks. If you serve, and nothing comes back, no harm is generally done. At a distance you can't tell if the person already has a partner, whether they are good at it, or if they want to engage in a the game. You won't know until you try ....... so get those flirting shoes on and give it a go :-)
Posted by: moonlightsonata65 at December 26, 2011 7:49 AM
Flirting huh.....because I'm a fun, happy and playful person and I happen to have brothers I have great relationships with, I used to be accused of being very flirtatious with men when I was merely being myself. I think uptight people can misread normal behaviour simply because at the heart of it they are jealous because they either do not have the confidence to be themselves, or they are afraid because they do not know who they are. It didn't bother me. But I was amazed particularly when I had no intention of flirting as such, simply being friendly. If couples have problems its not a third parties fault for being friendly. Just like you don't go swimming with a broken leg.
Posted by: bizzygurl at December 25, 2011 11:02 PM
aw shucks, thanks LLTD. now you realise i could take that as flirting....!
re your comments approx a week ago about negative "compliments" , so true.such a projection of their unhappy selves.similar sentiment came from sweetlillee's comments.
if only those type of people realised how much better you feel when you do or say something nice to someone.
Posted by: kisskat65 at December 25, 2011 5:23 PM
Kisskat, you are absolutely right!.
Welcome to the blogs, had a peek at your profile, mighty fine work there.
Cheers
Posted by: ladylikestodance at December 25, 2011 3:44 PM
the funny thing is, if it is someone youre attracted to we call it flirting, but if it is not, we just call it plain creepy............
Posted by: kisskat65 at December 25, 2011 9:13 AM
Very true Amber, and I have apologized profusely and unreservedly in person to Burntabit, for my ageist comment.
Burtabit assures me he still loves moi - so all is sweet ;)))
Looking forward to welcoming him and the rest of the Melbournian bloggers who can make the trip up here in the new year. Let's kick off the new year with a blast.
PS. Note to self: must leave emotive baggage firmly imprinted in 2011.
PPS. Ebay new heart, post haste!
Posted by: ladylikestodance at December 21, 2011 8:56 PM
Posted by: ladylikestodance at December 19, 2011 1:53 AM
Yes but he is male, very much alive and definitely NOT your dad, LLTD :)
Posted by: amberlightrose at December 19, 2011 1:33 PM
Posted by: ladylikestodance at December 19, 2011 8:57 AM
Yes LLTD,
I think those kind of comments say far more about the speaker than the person they are subtlety trying to put down.
If a man or woman feels they need to capitalise on someone else's possible insecurities - so they then feel bad and the perpetrator then thinks he/she has more of a chance with them or holding onto them - they are certainly not doing themselves any favours.
A truly emotionally healthy person will pick it straight away - that here is a person who feels insecure about themselves.
Who feels so angry inside that they can't bear to see someone else feeling/looking happy and confident without needing to bring them down..
Those who aren't so emotionally aware - may fall for it in the beginning - but will eventually see it for what it is really is - although it may take them many months/years to realise it.
Truly healthy people don't feel the need to bring others down.
They are happy to see others feel good about themselves. For others to fly free and unfettered aas they like to themselves
And they also understand that to be truly loved by a person who is like this is a wonderful thing :)
Posted by: amberlightrose at December 19, 2011 1:12 PM
If the equivalent amount of masculine research into the female mammary glands was invested in medical research, humanity would have eradicated breast cancer.
Social attitudes, cultural and family values define the quality, health and stability of both a society and relationships. Hollywood has influenced female fashion, romance and dating conduct. We live in a rapidly evolving global environment with a migratory population not an isolated continent. Unfortunately; what is portrayed in the movies and what is legally acceptable social conduct are different issues.
Australia is a signatory to the UN Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women. As a signatory to the UN Convention, Australia has ratified the UN treaty in legally binding legislation to protect women�s rights.
Australian social values are rapidly changing. Flirting was once regarded as socially harmless. Due to sexual discrimination legislation, flirting can be interpreted as politically incorrect, sexual harassment, abuse and predatory discriminatory conduct. Therefore; be careful how flirting is expressed to seductively dressed women in a public environment. In WA; telling a strange woman that she has a nice pair of tits can result in being charged for sexual harassment by the police.
Posted by: foodieatheart at December 19, 2011 1:01 PM
Flirting... In my opinion either you are a natural flirt or you are not.
Flirting to me is and should always be playful and fun. If it becomes serious and seeped in sexual innuendo that is no longer flirting that is more likened to foreplay.
Is there such a thing as Bad flirting? hmmm Yes .. if there is an imbalance of power between two people. If you are aware and honest with yourself always then you will know if the flirting is "fair". I realise we are all adults and I also realise that some people will only take responsibility for there own feelings and not those they may cause in others and this is true to a certain extent ... but is it right to boost your own ego at the expense of another person? I dont think so.
Posted by: sweeetlillee at December 19, 2011 11:29 AM
LLTD,
This is indeed a serious problem and I have conducted a comprehensive investigation. It appears that all of my cells, genes, DNA and all of the bits and pieces that go to make up my physical and mental entity are all completely illiterate.
The core of the problem is that they are all blissfully unaware that they are not allowed to function after a certain age and that it is offensively presumptuous to continue to do so. This situation is, of course, quite intolerable and immediate steps will be taken rectify the matter.
The first step will be to dispose of my much loved and much used Diamond Back 'Ascent' mountain bike and replace it with an electric scooter; this will be much more appropriate to my age and should not offend anyone.
Next to go will have to be the engineering based website that I have run for the last eight years since it is most unlikely that I could have enough marbles left to make valid professional comment on any engineering matter.
Next after that will be the contributions I make to several web groups that are working on establishing reliable objective criteria for the examination of objective phenomena that remains so far unexplained; again, it just isn't possible that I could have enough mental marbles to make any significant contribution.
Since there is every possibility that there might be a few more like me who are too ignorant to behave in the manner that society expects of them, perhaps John should consider a new discussion thread titled "How to Keep Uppity Old Farts in Their Place".
Should such a thread prove inadequate (if, for example, I did not immediately replace my mountain bike with an electric scooter or a walking frame), there is always involuntary euthanasia. That is guaranteed to cure me!
Burntabit
Posted by: burntabit at December 19, 2011 10:34 AM
What about the negative flirt, the backhander, misogynistic psych play(er):
Gent comments "nice nails. are they real??" she concedes, "no. acrylic."
Gent says (like he didn't notice it was a put down "oh. (pause) well I guess they still LOOK good." Then he turns his back to her.
He complimented her but the result was to target her insecurity!
I like self-possessed. I like witty. I like cocky but funny. I don't, however, like disrespect or a deliberate attempt to structure our communication so that you've got the upper hand and I've got to earn your attention.
PS While this may work, initially, these techniques are kind of like a resume: they get you in the door. Once you've got the job, and want to keep the job, and do the job well, an entirely different set of skills are required.
PSS I don't have acrylic nails!
Posted by: ladylikestodance at December 19, 2011 8:57 AM
I don't think flirting is bad if you are able to process it as JUST flirting.
I think that its when you start hoping or EXPECTING something romantic or sexual to result that you get disappointed
I reckon don't read into it.
Flirt and enjoy
If you want to ;-)
If you haven't tried it, try it!
If you feel that its inappropriate, that's ok too LOL
Because everything is... Just as it is
Nothing more nothing less.
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at December 19, 2011 7:39 AM
Thank you imgina for the comment you made at 4pm yesterday 18th re my blogs being far too long and following each other and also being likened to 'days of our lives'.. I was doing them in sections and posting them separately because I didn't trust my computer not to shut down for whatever reasons ..as it had been doing.. And I have read some extremely lengthy comments that go beyond mine..all put together..plus some..One I just read tonight on How Your Friends can Help You When You are Dating by amberLR 9.33am Dec 17..and which I found very interesting .. and many many others.. So what exactly is your problem Gina?..As for the 'days of our lives ' bit ..in case you haven't noticed.. I have also tried to put in some humour..to break up the heavy stuff.. It was such a relief to me when I discovered this blogging site..I have had tremendous support from the police both down here in Victoria and from my colleagues in Queensland .. also from others ..friends etc ..but all of you on the RSVP site know more than anyone else what goes on and can empathize with each other and I was and am grateful for that ...But right now this particular section is for the Bad Flirting segment and this doesn't pertain..I did have some things I have been wanting to say re the bad experience I had.. mainly to let other women know of its existence and to be on guard..I will take it to the appropriate section..When to Cut and Run and try to keep it brief for you all now that I have been made aware that I have been taking up far too much space and time here..My apologies everyone...for this lengthy post .. When certain people tell me I talk too much I come back with 'at least I have something to say'..and that is usually said by people who have not enough personality and are far too critical and venomous..... Have fun flirting everyone .. xxx
Posted by: bluebutterfly12 at December 19, 2011 3:22 AM
Burntabit
"Zaphod Beeblebrox glasses"
(blushing) you are 8 years older than my dad!
Posted by: ladylikestodance at December 19, 2011 1:53 AM
Ok peaceful
Are you judging me?
It seems that way and if you are, then I have certainly misread you
Still, you are entitled to choose how YOU react.
I am happy that you can appreciate a member of the opposite sex without wanting to bonk them.
All the best
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at December 19, 2011 12:05 AM
Peacefull, I think Bluebutterfly12 holds the record for the longest blogg written i.e. she (BB12) sends them in many bloggs all following each other. I'm sorry BB12 but it's a bit like days of our lives....
G
Posted by: imgina at December 18, 2011 4:00 PM
Hi, BarbaraW.
No way, Jose. I came across that little TIT-bit of information LOOONNNNNGGGGGG before I had ever heard of Foodie, the RSVP blogs or even RSVP itself.
Wut's moor, I have not noticed any great impact on my life so far from any of Foodie's ramblings. Should I have?
You have a wonderful day.
Best wishes.
Peacefulsixty.
Posted by: peacefulsixty at December 18, 2011 11:39 AM
Hi, Amberlightrose.
C wut happens whenyer hang around me? Yer kin lern orl sortsa diff'rent things. LOL.
Hi, ooouniqueooo.
Sorry 'bout that. Better luck next time.
You both have a wonderful day.
Best wishes.
Peacefulsixty.
Posted by: peacefulsixty at December 17, 2011 10:03 PM
Hi Unique,
Having met burntabit, I can assure you he is such a gentleman he could never be accused of perving!
cheers, Barb
Posted by: barbaraw at December 17, 2011 9:48 PM
Hi Peaceful,
"always on the lookout for the best source of genes to father their offspring".
You've been reading too much Foodie! :-)
cheers, Barb
Posted by: barbaraw at December 17, 2011 9:45 PM
Posted by: peacefulsixty at December 17, 2011 7:06 PM
Some great comments.
Peripheral vision - I didn't realise women had better peripheral vision than the blokes.
I'll remember to make better use of it next time :)
Posted by: amberlightrose at December 17, 2011 8:35 PM
Burnt a bit
Hahaha
it is rude to wear glasses on introduction lol and btw you needn't pretend with me. You are free to perv if you wish lol
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at December 17, 2011 7:32 PM
Hi, Folks.
Bad flirting????????? IMHO, any flirting that is done by somebody who is, for whatever reason, emotionally unavailable when they have NOT made it clear that they are emotionally unavailable is BAD flirting.
From many of the reports that I read on some of these blogs, 'twould appear that RSVP has its fair share fo such people.
Personally, I think flirting between the parties of an established relationship can be a REALLY good thing. It can also - in certain circumstances - be a good thing between two people who are married to spearate others - - - so long as both respect the boundaries and the sensitivities of their respective partners.
There is almost NO communicatione between a human male and a human female that does not have some level sexual energy involved, sometimes positive, sometimes negative. It is the nature of the energies and the polarities of the genders that this will be so.
Hi, Wallstreet3.
Women have us at a bit of a disadvantage in the perving stakes due to their better peripheral vision. This means that they can perve far better to the sides of their cone of vision than us men thus allowing them to be somewhat more 'sneaky' about it. But hell, if a woman is worth perving on, she is possibly also worth letting know that she is being perved upon.
By all means, be a little blatant about it BUT have the integrity to look her right in the eye when she challenges you by looking at your eyes.
I KNOW that almost all women, single, in a relationship or 'happily' married, do their fair share of perving on men. It is the nature of the little darlings to be always on the lookout for the best source of genes to father their offpsring. Whether they ackshully do anything about what they see and like is a whole nuther story. I guess that at least a few of them might be like me in that they can appreciate a good-looking member of the opposite sex without necessarily wanting to BONK (Did you get that, ooouniqueooo?) them.
Just my 0.02.
You all have a wonderful day.
Best wishes.
Peacefulsixty.
Posted by: peacefulsixty at December 17, 2011 7:06 PM
LLTD,
In view of what you were waering the first time that I met you, I will equip myself with a pair of the same dark glasses that Zaphod Beeblebrox* uses in the event that we meet again.
And, having just read Unique's recent post, I had better do the same if we ever meet.
Burntabit
(* Adams, D; The Hitchhiker's Guide.)
Posted by: burntabit at December 17, 2011 3:02 PM
...'cept she WAS at the printers ordering her wedding stationery.. and I was only there to order my business cards...SO THEN it pays to advertise doesn't it? Depends on what ONE is looking for I guess..AND also there is nothing more beguiling than a froth of exquisite lace hovering over the stategic bits..and I am big on lace and femininity...That is my secret weapon anyway!! Have fun flirting but wait til you hear how I go about it.. sets them a buzzin' then you can choose who you swot and who you allow around the honey pot...catchem' more flies that way... Oh! I am so WICKED.. yes I am ..BB12 (as for the asking questions and being interested bit..'my guy' didn't like that part AT ALL.. I wonder why?..well no I don't.. I already know don't I?..Just have to be careful what questions you ask I guess!!!)
Posted by: bluebutterfly12 at December 17, 2011 2:17 PM
I think there should be a "like" button to some comments as there is on Facebook :)
Peacefulsixty; I "like" your comment ... but i would think that a hover over the said area is not a mere passing glance ... for women would be guilty too of a passing glance at a man's gluteus maximus glands in the back of his jeans; or front if he is carrying an extra pair of socks ... who knows!
Posted by: wallstreet3 at December 17, 2011 1:30 PM
Posted by: peacefulsixty at December 16, 2011 10:44 PM
Peaceful, couldn't have said it better myself. I am totally amazed that women are still complaining about being "perved upon" when they intentionally dress to provoke. If you don't like the outcome ladies, then don't dress to attract those onlookers that you so frequently complain about - surely now you understand how it all works and that men have been programmed this way since the beginning (surprise! surprise!)
Problem solved!! wasn't that sooooo EZY.
Posted by: luci1956 at December 17, 2011 12:37 PM
Love it PEACEFULS.. and said so eloquently..and so true.. I saw young and not so young women walking around our daytime streets in a little country town in Queensland with what seemed to be the fashion of the day (or the PULL ME RIG OUT as I refer to it.. Pulling male attention to themselves) by wearing their short skirts 'half mast'..exposing their .sometimes ample.. tummies right down to the top of their 'UKNOWS'.. and then wondered why they got into so much degrading trouble.. Oh! Yeah!!...Talking about BOOBIES.. I was at my printers organising my business cards to be ordered and this VERY ENDOWED young women walked in to see about her wedding stationery..and honestly I could not take my eyes off them..they were MASSIVE and flowing out everywhere..with barely the focal points hidden and I thought OMG they don't look human .. they looked like they had been pumped up with a bike pump .. my immediate thought was.. APART FROM A TWINGE OF ENVY.. the poor little darlin'.. imagine carrying that load around..BUT could I take my eyes off them..answer NO .. my eyes had developed a life of their own.. (and no I am not THAT way)..She must have noticed me bugeyeing them and she had the grace to smile at me (probably used to the attention they manifested)..and I had the grace to keep staring...WOW!.. I apparently ooze sex appeal..so I am told.. but I believe in keeping that air of mystery about any of my 'attributes' that I may have.. I have found that more compelling to a male to see what is within..BUT who can blame you fellahs for bugging out when it is shoved under your noses..OOPS! I think I may have said way too much here..I will blame it on not yet having my caffiene fix.. And I have found a very GOOD way of flirting.. share it next round ..TilThen
Posted by: bluebutterfly12 at December 17, 2011 12:35 PM
I think we convey our meaning without realizing it sometimes. Clearly if what we want is not what they want a connection is not established and we move on. Bad flirting, I would think, is when a person conveys their intentions in a bad way; either by being distasteful, not clear, or inconsistent which could become confusing. Once again it's about communication. But flirting is communicating through gesture and innuendo more than words. It's another area of human interaction which requires astute attention if you want to be good at it. I think Johns categories break it down well.
Posted by: bizzygurl at December 17, 2011 9:05 AM
I am sick of men who openly drool at my cleavage pic over the phone
"Mmmm I'm looking at your pic"
"oh ok which one"
*rolls eyes*
but yes I did put it there to display the goods for only ONE MAN to have access to (at a time)
Hahaha
Nothing wrong with that at all!!!
Look but no touch lol
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at December 17, 2011 7:07 AM
Hi, LLTD,
IF it is rude to let one's gaze linger longer on the cleavage, why is it not also rude to display so much of it? You ladies not uncommonly exhibit substantial 'acreages' of mammary glands and the complain when we males look at said displayed goods.
If'n yer doan't wantum checked out, why putt'em on show?
Now before you go getting all indignant and dragging your soapbox out of storage, stop and think about it for a moment. Men ARE visual critters. They are programmed to react/respond to things that they see. You ladies put yourselves on display to attract a mate. How would you feel if you put all that work into making yourself as presentable/beautiful/attractive as you can and NOT ONE SINGLE male directed even a passing glance your way?
NOT happy Jan??????????
Just my 0.02.
You have a wonderful day.
Best wishes.
Peacefuslsixty.
Posted by: peacefulsixty at December 16, 2011 10:44 PM
Posted by: missdragon8 at December 16, 2011 5:07 PM
Lol..Then you will probably get what you wish for Lol!
Sweetmix (63)
Posted by: sweetmixture at December 16, 2011 10:36 PM
Posted by: missdragon8 at December 16, 2011 5:07 PM
Stirrer :)
Maybe you could try number 6 & 8?
Better still - just suggest it?
Posted by: amberlightrose at December 16, 2011 7:08 PM
Wow, flirting to attract the opposite gender would be such a chore =S
Posted by: confusedcitycat at December 16, 2011 6:53 PM
what if you WANT to give the impression that you're just after sex?? LOL
Posted by: missdragon8 at December 16, 2011 5:07 PM
Whoo Hoo new blog, hey gang over here!!!!
Giving insincere compliments while checking out the wrapper, again, and again.
You'd think one discrete scan would be enough.
Guys who know the difference between a clevage and a clavicle and that it is very rude to hover on the former.
Posted by: ladylikestodance at December 16, 2011 4:24 PM
Bring on the cheesy one liners!!!
Hahaha
They're just cute lol
Posted by: ooouniqueooo at December 16, 2011 11:56 AM