RSVP Blog

I can't even get a guy to reply positively to my kisses let alone getting to the point of asking one out on a date. .... but I eagerly await the day.....

Posted by: funsized71 at March 15, 2010 5:59 PM

Hi everybody
thanks for the kind comments from regulars-this is such much fun being new .
Mango(the moggy)and I are still alone and she is moving onto my bed now it is cooling down (sydney)!!
All the comments i have been reading and i am learning to be kind to all males even when meeting them-be nice and sympathetic!
Still waiting to meet my fellow from tassie -been delayed for 2 weeks-good vibes
Its taken 4 months (thats all i have been on for) to find someone someone i really care for but to you all please be careful, i have been scammed for $ and finally reported to ACCC-im finally a bit tougher but i have to be me and kind but be ever so careful
Great blog

Posted by: notoverthehillat60 at March 15, 2010 4:09 PM

I agree totally with the comment made by amberlightrose on march 13th. Things are different today and people need to accept that. I wouldnt mind asking a man on a date but many are believe woman who do are too forward. So i tend 2 sit back.

Posted by: pieeyed1967 at March 15, 2010 2:37 PM

women still wait for the male to ask them out on a first date .

i prefer a women to ask me out on a first
date . if a women likes you she will always
let you know . im still waiting

rejection is something we all learn in life .

Posted by: imsearching at March 14, 2010 5:50 PM

Thewatergirl - Maybe you are mixing up

"the older you get, the more of a compromise you have to make. Why should anyone lower their standards as they get older?? "

With "a differing expectation"

Posted by: stephen54 at March 14, 2010 1:09 AM

Well said, Watergirl :)
I think the difference might be today that most (not all I admit) women can survive happily without a man in their lives these days.
Not so much our mothers and grandmothers who didn't have the opportunities we have had to be independent. Therefore our mothers and grandmothers often tolerated being treated less than respectfully by their menfolk simply because the odds of equality were stacked against them and they often had no where else to go.

Today women are far more independent. We have our own bank accounts, jobs, houses.
If we want a man in our lives it's because we love him and care for him, not because we NEED him as a meal ticket.
I think a lot of men have a problem with this, they can't understand why women are so damned "difficult" these days, but it is THEIR problem not ours!

To be honest, If I were a man I would much rather be loved for who I am, not for what I can give or provide (other than love, affection and respect of course!).

Of course, independence means a woman doesn't have to put up with the treatment and disrespect many of us have in previous relationships (and certainly unless they were very lucky our mothers and grandmothers did).
We might have tolerated it longer the first time around because we were young, didn't always know better and let's face it, many of us tried so hard to keep those relationships in which we had children, together for many reasons, sometimes at great cost to ourselves.
But now we are independent we don't have to put up with "crap". If a man doesn't treat us well, we will walk. No looking back.

I think many women subscribe to the mantra, I'd rather be alone and happy than be lonely and unhappy with someone.
While most women are more concerned with finding someone to respect and love them for who they are, there are some who want the 'whole deal', good looks, lots of money AND respect and love.
It's their right to feel this way. In the same way that men who want to try to "punch above their weight" (so to speak) have the right to try as well!

I often wonder what a man means when he says "women need to lower their standards" .
I suspect it's 'man-speak' for "not be so bloody fussy".
Well from what I see men are pretty damn fussy too when it comes to the "look" of a woman they want to have a relationship with!
And often the men who complain the most are the ones who are really lacking in the "respect" department as well.

And if you men think we are fussy, just look at the really younger women. Some of them make us seem positively "easy-going" in comparison!
And good luck to them I say.
I believe few of us born in the 50s,60s and 70s understood the idea of expecting lots of respect in our realtionships. But most young women today understand this concept very well, which is why the younger men are really "shaping up"!
Unlike many of their fathers and grandfathers who still don't 'get it'!

Posted by: amberlightrose at March 13, 2010 8:51 AM

Hey all
Im new to the blogging side of this so be kind :P
It seems there are a a few different ideas floating round about who shoiuld be asking who... in my experience its been the simple notion if your interested put it out there you never know what you might find, and whats life without a little risk thrown into the mix.

That all said although i will make the first move a girl still likes to be asked lol

Posted by: katelo88 at March 11, 2010 10:06 AM

Well I have had a number of women - And I have done the same - who just said "I'm off to lunch care to come along"

How hard is that?

As for just asking out of the blue "Want to go to xyz"

Well that is risky - Life is a risky business.

Posted by: stephen54 at March 11, 2010 12:35 AM

Glad to see some new people too. Perthy I do hope your finger is better! How's that stomach on legs of yours? No doubt they are both thriving.

Went to the bank at lunchtime today and wasted 30 minutes laughing at the antics of the kittens in the pet shop. Wouldn't get one from there of course, would go to the RSPCA. So tempting but have two long weekends in Sydney coming up as well as a trip soon to see Virgo. Not to mention my wanderlust for America and back to France.

Posted by: aloveoflife at March 11, 2010 12:15 AM

Glad you are staying, Alove! Perthy, I hope your finger gets better soon. Its such an annoying place to cut it when you need to type!

Lovely to see some new "faces" and some returns too. Hi everyone!

Posted by: willow29 at March 9, 2010 8:06 PM

Well what an interesting read many did not make sense re aussie women, most on this site seem to be from somewhere so the option to get a foreign woman is not so hard. I must say I respect a woman who can make the first move. It must be said I think a woman no matter how old has the fairytale image.

Also it is best not to buy drinks for a woman they will not respect you any more. It
aquamarineyes

Posted by: aquamarineyes70 at March 7, 2010 7:14 PM

hello everyone
I like men to make the first move but happy to take the initiative if they dont.

who should pay for what. that is my dilema.

50 plus female

Posted by: sweetsixt at March 7, 2010 4:58 PM

Hey Alove,
How are you? I'll share a little of your red, you can have the majority and I'm sure between us we can do well :-)
lol...that was funny when we created that island.
Very wet in melb yesterday..so far sunday has been dry here.
Ali
xo

Posted by: ali1974 at March 7, 2010 4:55 PM

Hey Ali!!! I found Virgo's vino stash, silly blonde, she was more concerned about her broken fingernails and extensions. Don't tell Feelgood thou that we've found it - go you halves, I get the red! Nephew - stand back ye say!! Virgo, sorry but you left us, sniff, for Mr Spesh! Still love you thou.

Anyone confused, go right way back into diamonds are a girls best friend (is that the right blog Ali?) and you see some of the regulars who set themselves up as a gilligans island cast! If you do go back, enjoy the read, it was a lot of fun playing the parts! Willow, Icy, Ali, Virgo, Feelgood (everyone's favourite nephew) and many more great natured people, goodness those were the days of major fun on the blogs!

Enjoy your weekend, still going to be very wet in Brissie, might have to settle back with a wee drop of red... Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at March 5, 2010 10:42 PM

Hey Gusco, welcome to the blogs. Everyone's opinion is welcome here and eventually someone's toes will get stepped on, so don't worry too much about that. :-)
Some people (and me especially) do get somewhat discouraged making the first move especially when those we send a kiss to can't even respond with a 'thanks, no thanks'. It's even more confusing when the person/profile you've kissed requests courtesy is displayed if a kiss is sent by them. lol
Friday night after a very very long week...I think I might see if there's some wine left from the old island adventure (a few blogs ago) *hic*
Have a brilliant weekend everyone
Ali
:-)
*wandering off into the jungle*

Posted by: ali1974 at March 5, 2010 7:45 PM

As a first time contributor, I didn't want to step on too many toes. Having been on this site for some time now a noticeable pattern seems to have occured. Not many women make the first move which I can understand but if you don't then you can be waiting for a long time or die wondering! If you don't ask then you don't get!

When you have a specific criteria which is great in an ideal world, the older you get, the more of a compromise you have to make. Many women as they get older have an aire of confidence and have far greater life skills and many are still very beautiful.

So, if I'm looking for one such beauty, I should pack my bag, move to Melbourne and try my luck there. It seems to be where the majority of available beauties reside!

I suppose all good things come to those who wait, but if you are 51, keep asking, you just need a hide like a rhino!

Posted by: gusco58 at March 5, 2010 12:21 PM

Nice to see some new bloggers! Welcome and enjoy.

Also welcome to the blogs notoverthehill and Mango! Alove.

Posted by: aloveoflife at March 4, 2010 8:07 PM

At the age 49 and having been married twice ,once again single, i find myself in a place not that unfamilar. Having said that,this works against me when it comes to finding someone.I am a very strong confident women who basicly has a set of balls.This scares the hell out of men,no suprise there.If i have to wait for a guy to ask me out,i will grow old waiting . But if i do the asking its wrong .I have so much love to give and no one to give it to .And so now i am trying onlne dating.So guys out there put your egos aside and take the plunge into the unknown when a women asks u out first,it could be the best thing you ever do.

Posted by: maryin at March 4, 2010 7:07 PM

Hey Alove, Glad you are staying around, yay !!! good for you. Will get back to this later, have stuff to do at the moment. I have cut my finger and it takes ages to type, ouch !

Posted by: iaminperth at March 4, 2010 5:49 PM

Traditionally men have always made the first move and im sure this has been the way for thousands of years .men a born hunters and women are born caregivers. i only think these roles can be reversed based on their personalities . if a woman is a career minded go getter then hunt away and if a guy is a metro or snog then he will be less inclined to make the first move . in this dating game it is always about what you are looking for and sometimes you have to be hunter rather than the hunted. i also think men dont see women as agressive if they make the first move, its very flatering to be noticed by the opposite sex and lets face it .dating now is more complicated than it ever was so make your move as you can never catch a fish if you dont put a hook on your line

Posted by: condorman2009 at March 4, 2010 2:24 PM

Hi This is my first time on this blog as newish to rsvp.being a female and middle aged it has been challenging.

At first i was kissing back but after knockbacks i stopped and waited for the kisses to come in.And they have come from some really nice guys and a few ratbacks

I am finally meeting up with a really nice fellow from faraway tassie next week and we both cant wait.

Meanwhile my social life has picked up and I am willing to send out kisses myself now

this is a interesting blog full of characters and i hope i can further contribute.

Also i have a mad fluffy cat called Mango who tries and run my life!!

Posted by: notoverthehillat60 at March 4, 2010 1:05 PM

Wow, this is controversial. I must admit I don't have problems making the first move with a guy online - how else will he know I am interested or even exist? Its not like I can lower the cleavage, top up my lippy & smile at the dude. Having said that I obviously get more rejections since no idea if the guy is interested. But there are heaps of fish out there!
Its really funny reading the Norwegian thing. I admit I have a bit of a pash for Norwegian guys. They are sooo hot: intelligent, sensitive, built & know their way around a bedroom in an unselfish way. Hmm...
Anyway obviously the grass is made greener by the exotic. I really think that the Norwegian girls were playing with the guy who believed they actually thought Melbourne men (specifically!) were better! Norwegians can be quite sly in their humour, I find.
The funniest read was the guy who said he preferred fun and adventure to relationships -like you can't have fun and adventure in a relationship. Wow, no one will want to date you, Mr Boring!
Anyway, good luck in your search, everyone! I am hoping to meet someone amazing, but I know they exist in the real world beyond net dating, so will take all this philosophically I guess!

Posted by: tropicallily at March 3, 2010 10:26 PM

WhenHarrymetsally
I do have an idea how insulting I can be actually.
Thing is it isn't intentional or in anyway deliberately mean't to offend anyone...let alone in a public domain.
I guess asking direct questions or making direct/tactless comments offends some more than others.
Sometimes online communication means being direct...unfortunately words can be misconstrued.
I never meant to hurt or offend you.

As I said before I have no intention to engage in who is right or wrong. I readily accept the fact I asked you a question that you didnt like. I could have asked it more tactfully I wholeheartedly agree.
I take full responsibility for this.
Importantly, I apologised for any misconception or offence made at the time....and moved on.

Rest assured my part in this will not degenerate into personally naming you or insulting you on a public website.

All the best to you. And for the record I thoroughly enjoyed chatting with you.

"When you have the choice to be right..or to be kind - Just choose kind"
-Stuart Wilde

PS Offer is still open ;)

Posted by: isidore at March 3, 2010 9:57 PM

Haha thanks isidore you make me look good:) No offence dude.

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at March 3, 2010 9:41 PM

Hi whenharrymetsally

Nice to see you are still around.

Now I thought we settled that one amicably? ;)

I recall I questioned you 'honestly' about whether your profile photo was actually you as clearly 'to me' your profile photo (a very nice photo I must say) didnt look anything like your other photos.
They were great photos too I might add as you are a very attractive lady...and from memory you had a great profile to go with it.

I might add I do recall you did say you may have over reacted to my comments as well and requested we remain friends? ;)

Thats history. My respect for myself and for you dictates that I will not comment further on that matter.

I hope our misunderstanding may demonstrate that yes, people do get it wrong re communication online, and that a little kindness and understanding can turn a negative into a positive.

And on that note...

If you are ever in Tassie i'd love to catch up with you and do dinner sometime.......

As good ol' Dr Phil says its how people disagree and deal with conflict that determines how well they will get on with each other in life.

Posted by: isidore at March 3, 2010 7:29 PM

Thank you for my rose Alove
xo

Posted by: ali1974 at March 3, 2010 6:13 PM

Posted by: isidore at March 2, 2010 7:42 PM
Hey Isidore, I knda get where this woman is coming from !!! If you wrote the same kind of email to her as you did to me, which I have to say was the most offensive, judgemental email I have ever received from a man.

Posted by: whenharrymetme at March 3, 2010 4:42 PM

Actually she didn't tell me that so you just dobbed yourself in! Ha - sprung!! Who was French that you brushed up against?!? Aunty Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at March 2, 2010 11:07 PM

well well aunty someone has been talking to my mother haven't wee,,! the bouquet was very lovely thank you very much, and yes I brushed up on my french;)

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at March 2, 2010 9:02 PM

So adventurous, happy to add my thoughts, I'm not a shrinking voilet, am a courageous girl, sadly there are some men on here - as I'm sure you guys also encounter women of similar calibre - who give the good guys a bad name - happens both sides. If you feel that you can find your happiness overseas then that's great, just be happy, who says you have to limit your search to Aus? Please don't give out the implication that there is nothing good about the females here, if you want to meet someone from another country I wish you well.

Hey Perthy, love your kitten stories but heck a whole chicken breast? You must get a photo on your profile of the stomach on legs! Here is Bris it is a heck of a lot cooler, Saturday at Tamborine was 19 up there, had to have a couple of reds to warm up ;-) plus a lovely lunch at Cedar Grove Winery. The rain, gosh we've had buckets and its unrelenting!

Decided that I'm not going anywhere too by the way - Perthy, Ali @-}--}--- and Willow!

FG - good to see you back Nephew and glad you had a nice time, did you catch up with Mum? Or did you catch the bouquet!!

So sorry to anyone who hates weather stories, animal stories but there are online friends here who only know each other from the blogs and not in person, it's good to catch up with someone from across this wonderful country and heaps of us are animal lovers - gives you a good insight into personalities as animals are quite often the best judge of character! Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at March 2, 2010 8:07 PM

Iaminperth you got the word in one go;

'Entitlement'...this sense of entitlement in 'both' sexes is a major issue.

The world doesnt owe anyone a relationship. I think a lot of Aussie men and women need to wake up and smell the roses.
I've noticed a real attitude with some women ive met...or emailed; no real sense of humour or 'class' for want of a better word.
Angry, aggressive, and perhaps one too many Pink albums perhaps? ;)
I had a recent contact with a woman who I thought i'd email rather than send a kiss message. Her profile sounded great, nice profile etc.
I mentioned that her profile sounded like she was looking for George Clooney ....what followed was "how dare you label me blah blah etc."
I thought it was a straight forward comment and if anything a compliment on her ideal partner profile.

It was said in jest and certainly not meant to offend.
I replied by emailing an apology and stating it wasnt my intention to in anyway offend her (ok i'm a male so gimme a break ladies...emails are challenging..the responses are a lottery)

Thinking I wouldnt hear from her again I got another email 'again' raving about how I judged her etc etc....

No acknowledgement of my apology or my genuine regret in 'offending' her.

Just more of the same. I might add not once did I attack her or verbally take her to task in my email to her as an exchange of egos does do anybody any good. I was certainly told my fortune and quite ironically harshly judged by the person pointing the finger at me ;)

Suffice it to say I did not respond.

Its this defensive and aggressive attitude that other guys I know have come up against as well.

I've often stated in my profile that we should all be kind in this process because at times its bloody hard to 'connect' with a stranger. Its so easy to say the wrong thing....to some people.

Makes me think that if these types of people are so wound up and angry full of attitude, who would want to go out with them?

Yep, all women are different and i've been fortunate to meet some really great Aussie girls as well....

Gotta say though the overseas women ive met just seem more feminine and calmer.....some of these Aussie women have a hard exterior and seem competitive and have a chip on their shoulder about something.

Just me or have others experienced this as well?

Posted by: isidore at March 2, 2010 7:42 PM

Hi Perthy well i have just returned from you lovely town and seen many sights of Perth;) The boys trip was down in Yullingup and we ran a muck. Visited vineyards, caves, beaches, pubs, you name it we covered the lot in 4 days. Perth was great and i loved it around Free'o and east perth. It was a little hot with 35-40 degrees every day but we compensated for that with a fridge full of beverages..! The wedding was in Swan valley and went well. Both happy in love.
Might head back over there one day and if i do i'll call in and say G-day.

got to run guys..,

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at March 2, 2010 10:45 AM

Don't go Alove, hang around. I will always tell you my kitten stories and I am fine with all the flack I get that I am boring everyone witless, also it's not quite to hot here today, about 39 I think.

Worked at home till about 7.30 last night and exhausted and covered in mud. Popped a nice chicken breast on the stovetop for dinner. All nicely cooked, let it cool down a little prior to cutting still in pan. Left the room to check emails and when I went back, gone ! So, a bowl of salad for me last night for dinner. George has an unusually large tummy, even larger than usual and was so so loving, albeit a little poofy!

Posted by: iaminperth at March 2, 2010 10:18 AM

Well said isidore.

Having lived overseas I can confirm that foreign women adore Australian guys.

My brother (who as a former male model, Australian ski team member and lawyer never had any problems attracting women in Australia) is married to a beautiful, well educated and adventurous Norwegian. Her sister and her best friend are married to guys from Melbourne as is the Judge who married them in Oslo....in fact a number of Norwegian girls at their wedding there told me that they hate Norwegian guys and the best guys in the world come from Melbourne.......I have heard that story many times during my travels and that is why so many of my well educated and successful friends left Australia many years ago and will only ever return here for holidays....another answer to the statement "Where are all the real men?" that I keep reading on womens RSVP profiles....do any of the women on here have the courage and confidence to respond to this topic?....I doubt it!

Posted by: soadventurous at March 2, 2010 9:10 AM

I went into the City on Sunday afternoon to have a look around. The shops were packed as usual. Two mid aged women travelling on the escalator in front of me were talking loudly, one stuffing her face with a pie and the other chomping on some take out sushi. A woman was paying for a purchase whilst talking on her mobile oblivious to the fact there were other people waiting.

The clothing on some mid aged women mystifies me at the moment. They seem to think it is sexy to show great wads of flesh. Massive mammaries flopping around in over tight tops. I honestly just don't get it. I am not advocating being covered from top to toe but where has class and style gone.

I can certainly understand males having a look overseas for a partner. There are some brutish examples in Australia at the moment who seem to be so aggressive and souless in their thinking and their sense of entitlement is baffling.

Posted by: iaminperth at March 2, 2010 2:04 AM

Just popped in for a quick read! Ta Ali for your words and a rose!

True Willow, you and I will not lose contact x

Perthy you make me laugh with you cat stories. My boy wasn't as active as yours, generally when I came home from work he would flip over for a belly rub, he was a real poser. They leave a mark in our lives that can't be replaced but can be patched up. I now have a little swarovski crystal kitten with a ball that was given to me on the weekend. As for the bad date, I did contemplate just paying for my dinner but it was one of my favourite places to go where I'm well known and I wanted to keep in good. I believe Karma will come his way!

True Isidore, our priorities change when we get older, that's why I'm contemplating what's next, just turned 46 (sssshhhhh) our secret!

Posted by: aloveoflife at March 1, 2010 8:01 PM

Posted by: unknownauthor at February 28, 2010 4:41 PM

That's true Unknown :-)
But there's the confusion for the girls and the much discussed 'topic' of us girls being seen as desperate or emasculating...still confusing for me...
Ali
x

Posted by: ali1974 at March 1, 2010 6:39 PM

Hi Folks

Soadventurous well done on a say it how it is post.
Theres a distinct lack of 'reality' and accepting 'how things actually are' regarding relationships as we move into our 40's and beyond.
I've posted before on the fact that what we looked for in our 20's isnt the same as now (generally speaking for many men...and women i'm imagining)...we grow and we 'choose' to live our lives a certain way.

One of the challenges I find with no disrespect mean't to women, is that I find many women are looking for the same things they looked for 20 years ago when they were in their 20's!....happily ever after living together and playing happy families.

Thats fine if thats what you 'consciously' want.

Fact is i'm not (and i'm assuming other men are not either) interested in heavy relationships with unnecessary (not to be confused with necessary pressures) pressure/committment from partners.
Too many of us are on 'auto pilot' with relationships and an attitude of; "well thats the way its always been, lets keep doing it that way "
Rather than saying; "Hey what is it I 'really' want ..and need.. out of a relationship and do I want to embrace a paradigm thats out of time and not in line with the person I am, and am becoming"

I shudder at some of the people (men and women) I know and the 'crap' they endure in a relationship because they want to keep the peace...they have lost a sense of themselves...their mojo if you like.
They somehow think they are not worthy to pipe up and claim what is rightfully theirs to claim......

THEIR LIFE!

Theres a lot of people in their 40's and beyond who are active and spontaneous (like me) who lament the loss of the availability.. and decline... of spontaneous partners who are fit, active and up for adventure IN THEIR OWN AGE GROUP.
And...then theres the women who late 30's early 40's are looking for a partner to father their kid/s.
Good on them for wanting that...but alas many men do not want that either....particularly when they have consciously decided never to do that anyway.

Mail order husbands you say? Great idea!Whatever works is what I say. I think a lot of women in Oz would actually benefit from that.
I'm finding that Australian women in my age group have got very different values and expectations than I have about life in the 40's.

Alternatives? Well as you say Soadventurous, skiing with Russian beauties is an option ;)
Looking at partners 'overseas' is a worthy option. Having known of some very successful partnerships, i'd have to say i'd consider it myself.

And why should it be skewed towards one gender?

Fact is a lot of us as we get older are looking for different things and have different expectations of a partner.

I know a guy who is getting married to an amazing woman from overseas, and whilst the cultures are different, the values are remarkably similar..

Men and women in Oz take a hell of a lot of things for granted about each other.
From what i'm seeing, women from overseas see a hell of a lot of great qualities and opportunities in living in Australia and having an Australian partner/husband. Having spoken to a lovely Asian woman recently she told me about the 'issues' with 'some'...in fact 'many' men in her culture and that 'relatively' speaking, Australian men (and hey we are talking about the ordinary average Joes ladies...probably the guys many of us would say were lower to mid range) treat their women so much better.

I have to agree with Soadventurous, we are ALL getting older....and sometimes the grass may indeed be greener on the other side of the world...for both sexes ;)

Now Mr Rudd can we take another look at that Immigration Policy? ;)

Posted by: isidore at March 1, 2010 3:25 PM

Hey Alove, Don't lose heart. Get on the computer and look for all the lovely destinations you can go to and all the things you can do for yourself.

I think in your situation in the restaurant I would have said 'oh dear' and paid for my meal and happily left him to sort out his part with the management whilst I sashayed out the door with a happy 'toodles'. What a sad maniupulative loser. When you really think about it though it is sad that a person can spend so much time working out how to con another person out of a meal, poor miserable drip.

Never mind, all a learning experience and for every one creep there are a lot more goodies out there.

Thanks all for your kind words about PussyWillow and I do miss her but she wasn't happy and faced a long miserable debilitating road. When there is a noise in the night I always remember Willow crashing thru the cat flap, sometimes head first, sometimes butt first. Every now and then she would land on her feet but mostly crash in huge somersaults on the floor and then roll around on her back saying 'arent' I pretty'. What a funny little thing she was.

Posted by: iaminperth at March 1, 2010 10:46 AM

It is simple.

For the vast majority of women on RSVP that do not have the courage to approach a guy that they find appealing I suggest that you:

1. Acknowledge that life is short and you are NOT getting any more appealing as you age and accumulate more relationship baggage...think of a bell curve diagram!!!

And as for those that engage in endless emails then say they want to meet but pull out at the last minute...I feel sorry for you if you have so little confidence...if you want to know what real fear is get in the water with a Great White Sharp....that makes meeting on RSVP like a walk in the park....in fact many of you should travel to Port Lincoln in South Aust. and go cage diving with Great Whites to boost your confidence.....not a bad idea if I do so say so myself.

2. As for the men that women on RSVP refer to as "the real men" (and "where are they?") I will let you in on alittle secret....as they get older they get more confident and financially and emotionally independent...as such as they age they have a declining interest in a committed relationship and a greater interest in adventure and having real fun....andmany leave Australia for that reason (and because they can earn a lot more money overseas and pay no tax)

I suggest all of you get hold of a copy of The Sunday Age Magazine dated 14 February 2010, read the article titled "Settling Down" and stop reading those stupid relationship articles in those trashy womens magazines that are written by hack journos that do not know anything about relationship psychology....otherwise the next growth in Australian immigration will be mail order husbands...I am serious and so should you be as you will be the real losers as a result! I will be heli-skiing in Russia with my friends and a group of stunningly beautiful Russain beauties that can actually ski as distinct to apres ski......

Posted by: soadventurous at February 28, 2010 11:43 PM

its nerve wracking for both sex's there are still not enough women who are prepared to make the first move tho.

Posted by: unknownauthor at February 28, 2010 4:41 PM

Hello Alove,
Hope your direction comes to you easily. I think your 'sheesh!' is an understatement. That's awful to be taken advantage of in that manner. Not cool.
Ali
@-}--}---

Posted by: ali1974 at February 28, 2010 1:43 AM

Alove, sometimes its good to take a break - gather yourself up, consider your options, get rid of the jadedness that sometimes hits us.

Do something for yourself, relax, chill - and you'll come back feeling more refreshed and ready to face the merry-go-round.

But we won't lose contact :)

Posted by: willow29 at February 27, 2010 2:45 PM

Hi Perth, I read your post and skipped the rest to say how sorry I am to hear of your loss. You gave Pussywillow a fantastic, loving home and thats the best legacy we can leave. Its lovely to hear you have the youngsters to ease the pain of your loss.

Posted by: willow29 at February 27, 2010 2:35 PM

Hey Andrew, your comment cracks me up! But I know where you're coming from. Be content knowing that the door often swings both ways. Stick to your principles even if they don't. Don't lose your cool over these time/stamp wasters, chances are they're the kind of women you didn't want to meet anyway.

Posted by: craigsteen at February 27, 2010 8:40 AM

Its nerve- wracking for women to make the first move in person too, so much easier these days for men and women to do it online. Does that mean we are aggressive cause we can do it online? We may actually meet someone where we have common interests and are attracted to each other rather than just meeting by chance at a party etc.

Is it better to go for someone who loves you, rather than someone who you love??

Posted by: soulseeker59 at February 26, 2010 9:11 PM

Hey Onegoodman, that is the good thing about these blogs, you get to know the other bloggers and their likes and dislikes and you develop an online friendship. So yep the blogs do go a little haywire at times but sit back read and enjoy!

Perthy, so happy that there are people like you who love animals. A lot of us bloggers do and that makes me happy, enjoy your little bundles of fluff.

To all my blogging friends, I'm going offline for a bit to think about life and the direction I'm taking. Sales is too stressful and I want to travel so there are many avenues open and stuff I want to contemplate - my life needs to be simplified. Also a bit sick of me - a female - spending stamps and getting the results Andrew is. Lordly last week I had a meal with a guy who turned out to be gay - and unable to pay for the dinner he insisted on taking me on - a coffee or wine date would have sufficed instead I paid for dinner. Sheesh! It's people like that who give the nice guys a bad name.

Anyhoo, if I decide to get off this merry go round I will pop back to say a cheerio! You all make me laugh Perthy, Feelgood, Jen, Willow, Ali and so so many others. Our Virgo is still in Perth and very happy and that makes me happy. So stay safe and I'm sure I'll blog to you soon, Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at February 26, 2010 8:08 PM

I think the younger generation do, but I think older women are not so bothered. I still think it's nice if the guy makes the first move and asks you out, but whatever, it doesn't really matter.

Friendship and romance is what happens in life and if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. I can't see the point of struggling with another person especially if you hardly know them. Gosh, if you are struggling then, what's going to happen when and if you do get to know them.

Posted by: iaminperth at February 26, 2010 6:59 PM

Hi all,
Have read some of these previous blogs...I guess girls should pluck up the courage and offer the stamp up ..it's only fair..I understand the attitude of fear of rejection and also the traditional approach of waiting for a man to ask..however we do live in changed times and it seems that none of us are able to read the what the proper protocol is these days..
guess what..there isn't any ..other than following your heart and instinct and doing the right thing and behaving respectfully to each other..whether male or female it would the respectful, kind and right thing to respond to kisses ..whether recieved or sent, honestly and in true spirit of this service...good luck all in your search for the one.

Posted by: surfstyle at February 26, 2010 1:05 PM

Hey Andrew, The same reason some men do I suppose. Just human nature.........get over yourself!

Posted by: iaminperth at February 26, 2010 10:19 AM

Phew !!! I've just checked this particular Blog title again - and I'm on the right one after all to read members' comments on "Do we still expect men to make the first move?"

I really did think I had chosen the incorrect blog category. As it is a tad confusing on here of late to read of members' cats,dogs, houses,gardens,menus and who has moved where and with whom !

Posted by: onegoodman1 at February 26, 2010 9:53 AM

Hiya.This is Andrew here. Why is it that some women on RSVP are deceitful and play games with men who are genuinely trying to find their soulmate for life........ If you don't want to correspond with me or have me send you an e-mail don't hit the "I'm interested and looking forward to your e-mail soon" button!!!!! sheeez
Women think cause your a guy that you are stupid or just looking to plonk her ass but not all guys are that way and I'm NOT!!!!
And women out there don't write in your profile I'm looking for a decent, caring and fun guy because that is CRAP!!!! as I'm one of those guys but still you are not interested in me......don't be a hypocrite and say you are looking for the 6ft tall , blue-eyed, blond six pack abs guy and that way we are all being totally honest with each other...!!!!!
Bye and thanks for listening,
Andrew.

Posted by: beast at February 26, 2010 9:15 AM

I actually don't see myself as anything Q. I just go on. I am getting my house looking lovely but it's only to bump up the selling price. It all depends on daughter and what she is doing but I would like to sell one day and buy a little dump on a beautiful piece of land and then start knocking down walls and adding sandstone and raw timber. That sort of thing.

I don't really think that far ahead and quite content doing what I am doing. I am so healthy it's sickening and seem to have a personality that doesn't take too much to heart and I really enjoy manual work and very handy with a saw and drill. I just figure that the only thing I can't do as a woman at times is lift really heavy stuff.

I would like a partner, but it has to be a true partnership and a sharing of energy and interest. I don't want to 'snuggle on a couch and read a book', or 'walk along the beach with a glass of red wine'. I love books, adore them but I want to sprawl out on my Queen sized bed with my white tea, four kittens and the tele going just in case I miss something. ha ha, maybe we could have two queen sized beds !

Posted by: iaminperth at February 25, 2010 1:59 PM

I agree, put on a smile and get out there. If other people moan and groan and winge an d whine, that's their problem. Dalai Llama, 'when I was very poor I walked in the fields amongst the trees and the mountains for exercise. Now I am rich I get on a bike in a hotel room and stare at the wall'.

People are too niggly and petty for me sometimes and this always striving to be 'right'. Boring really, wandering around challenging people over petty annoyances and never really getting on with their lives.

I still say what the temp is here in Perth, 42 deg today and a hottie. I made some amazing hommus yesterday with char grilled capsicum and fattoush. We have a lot of mountain bread so it is either grilled chicken or tuna or whatever on wraps today and lots of water. I have some white tea also, buddhas tears, and it is amazing. They look like little rabbit do doos but you just drop two in a cup and add hot water and let sit for about 4 or 5 mins. Absolutely stunning stuff, I love white tea!

Posted by: iaminperth at February 25, 2010 1:53 PM

.. & Perth..

I forgot to add that I'm glad you are having such a good time after retiring.. you sound busier than ever, but now with the things that you want to do, as opposed to the things you're paid to do.. enjoy!

And just out of curiosity.. do you see yourself with a partner again, or are you content to be independent & single?
I know that for my own part, it will have to be someone pretty extraordinary for me to want to commit again.. & the thought of sharing my space with someone makes me break out in a cold sweat, hahahahaa! :)

Q

Posted by: quirkette at February 25, 2010 1:16 PM

Oh, btw.. do people still snipe if posts are off-topic?

hahaha.. just in case...

Do we still expect men to make the first move?
Some do, some don't.. I don't :))

Posted by: quirkette at February 25, 2010 11:39 AM

Thanks Perth!
Yes.. I make a point of being happy.
One of my favourite quotes is from Abraham Lincoln..

"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be"

I figure he's right.
And interesting.. research shows that after a traumatic event, people return to their 'mean level' of happiness.
In other words, people have a level of happiness in their nature, which is not permanently altered by the ups & downs of life.

One thing that was life altering for me, was when I learned that we have a choice.. we can decide to be happy or sad.
It realised this one time when I was at home, distressed & in tears & the doorbell rang. I quickly dried my eyes, put on the Brave Face, & dealt with the meter reader or whoever it was.
Afterwards, on introspection, I realised that if I could switch my sadness off when needed, I could switch it off at will.. a huge revelation!
Now, if I'm sad, I allow myself a little time for it, then 'decide' to be happy/busy/whatever. The more one does this, the better one gets at it.. & the less time one spends unhappy.

Of course, we need to express our sadness at the time, but we don't need to carry it around with us when it doesn't serve us any longer.

The Dalai Lama, when asked by a journo how he dealt with the sadness of, say, the death of a friend.
He said "Oh yes, of course, I am sad.... but not for very long!" Despite his ordeals in life, he's one of the few public figures I can think of who is almost always smiling..

Q

PS: My schnoodle stands between Angel's legs & eats from her bowl under her chin! Ange just looks at me to help her reclaim her food.. she'd never think of even nudging him away, gentle soul that she is.
I think that if a dog's in a good home, they usually live an extra year or so.. I guess they're as reluctant to leave as we are to lose them..

Posted by: quirkette at February 25, 2010 11:36 AM

Hey dEco, Good to hear from you. 13 years is an amazing life span for a dog of that breed and how they are missed when they go. I think a dog on a road trip is the best companion ever and become as important as the vehicle and the clothes you wear. You must look after your animals well for them to last that long. Yes, my lovely gsd girl is still very much with us and has accepted our new 'lot' extremely well. Shepherd do though, provided they are introduced properly in the first place. They have taken to eating her food so they all eat out of the same bowl sometimes.

I do miss PussyWillow but I also know she is better now. Her life was becoming miserable. She wasn't in pain but she couldn't taste food and she was thirsty all the time but didn't want to drink and she had lost all energy. It was time unfortunately.

However, things are pretty good in downtown WA, heatwave for the next week so I am told, 42 on Thursday and then onwards. I have just about pulled out every cupboard in my house, chucked or given away so much 'stuff', rumbled around auctions, garage sales etc., and found other 'stuff' and generally exhausted myself doing things I like to do. Dug up the garden and played musical plants and chucked so much poop everywhere my neighbours are disgusted. Come to think of it, I am too, it stinks !!

Hope you are going well in your wonderful world of art and beauty and keep doing what you are doing and most of all keep happy !!!

Posted by: iaminperth at February 24, 2010 12:41 PM

Hey there Perth..

I rarely visit these blogs nowadays, but was sorry to read that you've lost your pussy Willow.. I have an ageing English bull terrier (13+) and already I'm psyching myself up for her leaving me for the golden kennel in the sky. Angel is having ongoing skin problems as her immune system weakens, & it breaks my heart. She's been my faithful companion on many a road trip to NT, & I'm making sure I give her extra fuss & attention while she's still with me.

My 'bridging puppy', Piglet (a mini schnoodle) gave her a new lease of life when I bought him home (she was 10yrs then) but the time is coming....

We just have to remember that we've given them the best possible life as invaluable members of our family.. they've never wanted for love!

Good for you with the new kitties..
Do you still have your GS?

Q

Posted by: quirkette at February 23, 2010 9:15 PM

Hi guys, Thanks for your comments. Poor little Willow was a character and I still miss her, but that's life with animals.

All my little foster kittens found homes prior to returning to the shelter. In fact they only went back to be vet checked and the paperwork completed and they all had homes. I thinking hanging like monkeys from the jacaranda tree in the front garden may have helped.

Anyway, George and Charlotte are the go now and the 'tum on legs' George is our new little character. He spends most of his life flat on his back on someones lap. He doesn't seem to care who, he just makes himself comfy. Charlotte is as feminine and neat as he is a walking block.

I don't think I have ever been so busy, just doing 'stuff' at home. Started 'sprucing' the place up and went nuts. Front garden looks really good, then attacked the back, then attacked the curtains and carpet and you know how it goes. Having fun though mixed in with other stuff. I don't miss work at all and getting organised big time for the winter months to try to make a bit of difference for some very cold people out there.

I found a really good article on how people fit into peoples lives and I'll see if I can find it again, it was very interesting. Took all the emotion out of the mix and just looked at the realithy of the situation from an outsiders point of view. I'll see if I can find it again, it was thought provoking and challenged some conventional ideas.

Thanks for your good wishes guys and I hope you are both doing well. I am hooked on the winter olympics and glued to the tv later into the night with my kittens, of course. Have a young friend staying intermittently in the back room at the moment. His parents have split, mother has a new boyfriend and father has a new girlfriend and father says he should live with his mum and mother says he should live with his dad.

My advice is 'great oppotunity to learn what not to do and how not to treat people'. He's fine and great for lifting heavy stuff but gosh kids have it hard sometimes nowadays.

Posted by: iaminperth at February 22, 2010 12:07 PM

Hi Perth, so sorry to hear about PussyWillow, hearing of her antics certainly kept me entertained. Your new little companions sound lovely.

Enjoy your retirement! Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at February 22, 2010 8:27 AM

Sorry to hear about your little Willow, Perth. It sounds like she had a happy life.
I am sure your new furry friends will appreciate the opportunity to be equally loved and cared for. What did you call them? The 'stomach on legs' sounds like a real character!
Have you introduced them to the neighbours, in case they also like to visit?
How did your family of foster kittens go, have they all found good homes?

So Perth, have you decided to 'stay put' or start again?
I imagine you'll have more time for your volunteering now.

About making space for a new partner/relationship.
I guess the thing is, if the person is the right one for you, you'll make sure you have plenty of time for that person in your life.
If you're not willing to do that, then either you don't care enough to make that person a major priority, or maybe you really are content to remain alone.

I guess none of us REALLY knows the answer to that question until we meet someone who has the potential to be a significant other in our lives.

While many of us need to have some personal space and don't want another person to completely and obsessively take over our lives; I guess if we find that EVERYTHING other than that our partner comes first in our lives, then maybe either we weren't really meant to have a partner in life, or that person is simply wrong for us.

I think there are a lot of people who hang on to someone, not because they particularly care about them, but because they are merely scared of being lonely.
That is very cruel in my opinion.
It is respectful (and far kinder) to simply be honest with ourselves (and them) and give the other person a chance to move on and find someone who is capable of really loving them.

If we really love someone (or think we could potentially love them) then we will make room for them in our lives; if we can't then we need to seriously think WHY we can't.
Not everyone is capable of being in a long-term partnership and that is fine.
So long as we don't hurt others by fooling ourselves and the people who might come to love us.

Posted by: amberlightrose at February 21, 2010 11:46 PM

Hi all, I was a 48 yo when I decided to grab the bull by the horns and make the first move but as luck? would have it he contacted me just before I was about to ring him. I literally had the phone in my hand when he rang. Later when I told him this he was rapt that I was about to ring him first. I felt comfortable with him from the outset, so I think that makes all the difference to your nerve factor. Go girls. Listen to your heart.

Posted by: officechick at February 21, 2010 9:45 AM

Hi Guys, I have retired from full time workforce and working so much harder now at home. Oh well, it's all good. My poor little cat PussyWillow lost her battle with kidney failure and passed away. I missed her so much and then decided I would go to the local cat shelter and get another little furry friend to pud around with me in the garden etc. Anyway, came back with one and a spare. Beautiful little green eyed girl and a little stomach on legs that looks like he has been painted by an artist on crack ! However, he survived after a bit of work and is quite happily running around with a bigger stomach on legs and the same weird markings.

I think nowadays you really have to work out where a partner fits into your life, or where they fit in at a particular time in your life. I don't mean financially, I mean the whole package. I think everyone likes to feel needed and if the life you have created for yourself doesn't have that 'slot' in it, do you really need a new partner a new partner long term.

It's all a little complicated I think at times and I think it's so much easier gardening, and playing with kittens.

Posted by: iaminperth at February 19, 2010 5:41 PM

We blokes love it when you make the first move, but thing is, you girls don't do it enough!

Posted by: chase4fun at February 19, 2010 5:29 PM

Hi all, just dropping in to say "Hello".

Great to hear all going well for you Icy. And Virgo too of course.

Me too! I have been seeing my guy for over 5 months now. He lives 4 hours away, but we manage.

Hope everyone is well and happy... I don't often get to read the blogs much now.

Take care all.

Jen x

Posted by: jen234 at February 19, 2010 9:22 AM

Thanks sharpcurves. I just wanted to add that real men don't get phased by rejection. It's a numbers game, trial and error, I certainly understand that I'm not going to be every woman's cup of tea. Just don't waste our time (and stamps), be polite and it will be returned in kind.

Posted by: craigsteen at February 18, 2010 11:40 PM

Sharpcurves & Craigsteen:
'tis not only your age group that lacks in manners,it is a sickness in today's society!
Keep the faith.
You WILL find others with similar standards to yourselves........just NEVER lower your standards!Prevail...........and eventually you will find that which you seek

Posted by: kurli at February 18, 2010 11:02 PM

Hi Craig, I agree with you in every respect. Manners just aren't common these days! All the best....

Posted by: sharpcurves at February 18, 2010 9:19 PM

Hi Icy, *wave*
Great to read things are going so well.
Ali
:-)

Posted by: ali1974 at February 18, 2010 7:51 PM

Of course men should make the first move. Although I'm sure most guys would be quite impressed if the lady asked him out. I don't understand why it's so difficult for some women to reply to kisses even to say they're not interested. It only takes a few seconds! And it's totally rude to respond favourably to a kiss, receive an email contact and then not bother to write back!!!

Posted by: craigsteen at February 18, 2010 1:09 AM

Agree completely!

Posted by: willow29 at February 17, 2010 9:24 PM

I think more women do these days and I have done so before, but I am more traditional and prefer him to make the move... makes me feel great knowing a man is putting himself on the line to express his feelings :)

Posted by: undiscloseddesires31 at February 17, 2010 11:21 AM

Hi All, been on RSVP for about 3 weeks and I have just this week discovered the blogs. This topic caught my attention as I feel very brave sending out kisses to men that catch my attention, if a man does not respond to my kiss, I take it as 'not interested' but it would be great if men would be gentlemen and do respond. Not a big deal, right?
BTW I always respond to a kiss ;).

KiOz1

Posted by: kioz1 at February 16, 2010 7:07 PM

Hi Alove,
You are right, it happens to all of us. It's just one of those learning curves we have to negotiate!

As a single parent myself, I too find the cost of stamps prohibitive, expecially when we realise we are actually GAMBLING.
Gambling on the fact that someone we think might be a good person to get to know, will feel the same way about us.

The thing is someone may think we look okay and our profile seems suitable, but when we take the gamble and send that invited email, we may say something that inadvertently puts them off (or of course, maybe they weren't even all that interested in the first place, they were just looking to boost their ego).

I have on several occasions asked RSVP if they would allow the purchase of one or two stamps at a time.
I am prepared and able to spend $20 every month or so 'gambling' on contacting someone who sounds nice and looks okay (and sending that email), just in case they find me okay too.
But I am not prepared to take a largish amount of money ($60) in one hit (that should be used to care for my son or pay my telephone bill) to gamble on the idea that someone MAY be interested enough to respond to my request for contact.

I agree wholeheartedly that it is unfair if women expect mostly men to gamble and won't themselves, but RSVP etiquette appears to be that the person who makes first contact follows up if the response is favourable.

So as I can't justify buying 6 stamps in one week/fortnight (believe me I'll never use them!) I can't see the point in sending a kiss to a man I find attractive, if I am not going to be able to follow up with an email.
I think that is just game-playing of the worst kind!

It appears RSVP is not interested in such an idea, or even trialling it as a 'special offer' to see what the response would be.
Maybe 1000 people spending $15-20 is less attractive to them than 200 people spending $60?
I have no idea what their reasoning is.

However, I think most of us would agree that not responding to an email is rude.
Yes maybe the person responded that way because they never thought you would actually spend the money to contact them, and is now a bit unsure. But surely a quick polite and thoughtful response back saying "thanks but no thanks", is just being respectful towards the person who has actually taken that chance?
The one thing you do know Forgottenfreedom, is that person definitely does not have any of the qualities you're looking for anyway!

I guess the main thing is not to take it personally and lose confidence.

Not everyone is on RSVP to find someone 'special'.
I suspect many are here either just to "I'll show them" a previous partner (with the aim perhaps to get them back or rub their nose in it?) or to find new people to have sex with.
Perhaps their local venues know them too well or they have just exhausted their local supply :)

After being here for quite a while now, I think it is just best to see the idea of finding on-line love as being like X-Lotto.
"You've got to be in it to win it" and wouldn't it be nice?
Sigh.... :)

Posted by: amberlightrose at February 16, 2010 11:14 AM

Hi Forgotten, welcome to the crazy land of the blogs. Please don't think it's just the men that lose out on stamps, it happens to us all, as well as unreturned kisses et al.

Read your profile, well you are quite honest and say it as it is, you have a child at home so I don't know why they then go cold. It's just life, the wrong person but please hang in there, continue to read and post on the blogs, lovely bunch of people and we've had some successes on here of late - Icy and Virgo have both found nice partners and are happy - so it can and may happen for you.

Oh - I think Sliding Doors is one clever movie! Alove.

Posted by: aloveoflife at February 15, 2010 7:07 PM

I think that its a little unfair that us guys are expected to always shoulder the cost of buying stamps, I have found that I have wasted quite a few on people who dont get past the first Email, even though they have showed interest at the start, or asked me to Email them. If I send a kiss its because I find something interesting in their profile, not just the eye candy.

Im a Full Time single parent, so I understand that money isnt easy to come by, but I think if your contemplating getting into a relationship the effort should come from both sides, and from the very start.

Pictures can be very deceptive as most of us have discovered but in a lot of cases, it isnt always bad, and they really dont give any clue to whether or not your going to be attracted to someone.

Suprisingly enough there seems to be a lot of woman that are actually turned off by male single parents, the amount of times that contact goes cold when you mention it, is frustrating, especially considering my profile is exactly how things are.

I think in this day and age, I dont limit myself by thinking that a woman who contacts me, is anything but looking for the same thing I am. Im am actually looking for someone who know what she wants, and doesnt mind putting a bit of effort into finding out for herself if I have it on offer, especially if I am expected to do the same.

Posted by: forgottenfreedom at February 14, 2010 11:55 AM

Hey Icy life sounds great, stoked for you Mate.

I'm still here looking for the love of my life, someone to cherish to love, nurcher through bad times, sea of love... where art thou love to be...

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at February 12, 2010 10:48 PM

That's wonderful Icy. So glad to hear that you are so happy. Best wishes to you too and thanks for keeping our hopes up! :)

Posted by: amberlightrose at February 12, 2010 5:36 PM

Great to hear from you Icy and I'm so glad that you have found happiness with your lady. Virgo is in Perth for a little while at the moment and she is also very very happy. Enjoy, Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at February 12, 2010 8:02 AM

Posted by: aloveoflife at January 18, 2010 11:17 PM

Hi Alove, Glitter, Ali, Virgo, Jen, Willow, Perthy, Amber, Bob, FG et al and a belated Happy New Year to you all.

I am having a slow day at work and thought I'd read a blog or two and saw Alove's question asking how I was going.......

To answer your question Alove, all is going very well indeed, life is just fantastic and my lady and I are both incredibly happy. I was never a big fan of chemistry at school but I have to say I'm lovin' the chemistry now. Kids are all getting along well and seem happy with everything too which is great and also a relief.

So hang in there everyone. You just never know when it'll happen.

Cheers,

Icy.

Posted by: icycle67 at February 11, 2010 4:16 PM

Hi singleinarmidale, you said:
>I'm not up to speed on who does what,
>but was kinda hoping for a man to make the inital contact
>am I that out of touch with the dating scene?

Not in general, but internet dating is a little different from traditional.

Traditional: She is in a pub, club, dance, dinner & walks past people in the crowd, make eye contact or not (this is the browsing stage). Later, after a enough bourbons/coolers, you're both aware of that slight interest, he wanders across and asks for a dance/drink/etc. It kind of works as she flashes eyes, body language gets the "I'm open to you saying hi", means he knows she has noticed him.

Internet: Your on a site, pull up a list of faces with descriptions (better browsing method can omit dislikes without talking to them). But the guy/girl is not aware that you looked at a profile (in general, ignoring RSViP subscription here). You can't visit someone's profile and just expect them to get back to you - they often just never know. Hence the need to make a furtive contact (kiss, wink, icebreak, whatever), think of it as the electronic equivalent of making eye contact.

OTOH, guys are scanning the listing too, and we are aware that a certain proportion of women are expecting us to make the first move. So we do, a lot (lots of no answers, negative responses) so we get there eventually :-) Bare in mind though, if we are making first contact with one maybe two people a week, it takes a while.

Posted by: quest4u2 at February 3, 2010 1:18 PM

Maybe I am tad "old school" -but I think the lead on here is to be from the man.
However as we are all alleged to be equals on RSVP - Accordingly,we are encouraged to each weigh up the pros & cons should we see an interesting profile -as such either a man or a woman can initiate the "first" kiss or email response.
As long as the desired result is achieved then -just do it ! Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Posted by: onegoodman1 at February 3, 2010 7:30 AM

Hi, Very new to RSVP, and I have to agree with amberlightrose's comments on financial status, divorce, and the amount of/cost of stamps. I too am a single mum with little finances after divorce a couple of years ago. Being so new to all this dating game, I'm not up to speed on who does what, but was kinda hoping for a man to make the inital contact - am I that out of touch with the dating scene?

Posted by: singleinarmidale at February 1, 2010 11:11 PM

I agree Alove. A lot of people of both sexes have said the same thing regarding being asked to send emails and then being ignored. Some say that the profiles are not real in the first place. Maybe there is some truth in that, but even if it is a ruse, it would still be polite to reply in some way.

Posted by: willow29 at February 1, 2010 9:08 AM

Hey Justaniceguy, welcome back. I think you'll find that a lot of us female bloggers will send out a kiss and are happy to email. I sent a kiss to a guy the other night asking if he'd like to receive an email from me and he emailed me back instead of kissing back!

I don't agree that there are so many guys available, I thought it was the other way around so maybe it is the same for both sexes. I'm simply looking for the right one and not wanting to repeatedly go back to the smorgasboard.

It is also the same with ignored kisses for us girls as it is for you boys. Come on everyone, lift your game, an answer either way is required. Manners are appreciated!

Off my soapbox and back to 5'4", Alove

Posted by: aloveoflife at January 30, 2010 5:35 PM

Good topic. It's been an eye opener for me here in my 2 weeks back here. Seems to me the women in here expect the man to make ALL of the chasing! The girls don't send kisses, those that do respond to a kiss in a positive manner ask for the guy to send an email and many don't respond to the initial email!

I guess i don't blame the girls with the odds stacked in their favour with so many guys available but a bit more 'positive' approach and common courtesy wouldn't go astray.

Posted by: justaniceguy1967 at January 29, 2010 8:45 PM

Thanks for the wishes and congrats on the loss Alove!!
Ali
xo

Posted by: ali1974 at January 19, 2010 9:32 PM

90% of the time I've made the first move. As a woman - that's kinda risky - but hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained. But the men who've really loved me, and I mean loved me, were the ones that made the moves on me. I was usually totally oblivious, unsuspecting and not really ready. But hey those men were amazing and a few of them are still my great friends, despite the demise of the romantic relationship.

So, I'm not sure now - I think if someone has something for you, well that's worth persuing, because you may have something for them. They may see something in you that you don't even see in yourself.

Maybe it's about letting love in and being open to opportunities. One of my greatest loves was a friend for 6 months before anything physical developed and I fell in love with his being and the rest developed from there . . . .relationships really don't have a formula. It's however they happen and what we choose to make of them from there. . .

Glitter xo

Posted by: glitteringblue at January 19, 2010 9:18 PM

Awww ta Ali, yes it has been quiet and it could have been busier folks thank you very much. I had another week of annual leave off when we came back from Paris, at the end of the week came down with a huge headcold and didn't go back to work all last week so I've had a month off but heaps of sleep - but I could have done with some great blogs to read though. Sheesh, bloggers got me stuffed!!!

However I did learn from Perthy how to get over jetlag (ta!) and I've lost even more weight. Went back to the gym tonight - pooped!

I wish you love and luck too Miss Ali, Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at January 19, 2010 9:06 PM

Hello Alove,
How are you? It's been so quiet on here...the family seems to have gone to all four corners.
The roses are a little extra something for the family :-)
A special two for you: one for good luck, and one for good health. @-}--}---- @-}--}----
Ali

Posted by: ali1974 at January 19, 2010 7:12 PM

Hey Lovely, nice to see you schneek in now and again, and so glad you're happy!!! It is your time Virgo, happy healthy family, gorgeous Poopy/Boogy and now Mr Spesh, life is good. Now I do need to have a chat to you about your son, my dear nephew, he's not letting me borrow his surfboard..... I want to visit George - hey FG are you going to see his new movie??? hehehe

I wonder how Icy is going? No news is good news. It is so nice to see lovely people meeting their match.

Ali I love how you put a rose on your blogs - it's your signature!

Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at January 18, 2010 11:17 PM

Lovely to hear from you Virgo. Im glad you've found the happiness that you deserve.xx

Posted by: willow29 at January 18, 2010 9:08 PM

THanks Virgo. Life sounds wonderful So glad eveything is going so well for you! Wishing you every happiness as well :)
Love Amber xx

Posted by: amberlightrose at January 18, 2010 9:04 PM

*mwah* Virgo, Happy New Year to you. So good to read all going well with you and your man.
Ali
@-}--}-----

Posted by: ali1974 at January 18, 2010 9:02 PM

Hey my blogging family...

Just dropped in to say Happy New Year to you all, and wish you the best of luck for this year..!

I spent New Years Eve, and the last two weeks over in the West with my man, and will be returning back there in a couple of weeks.

My wish for you all, is to find that special someone, and be as happy as I am..!

Lots of love to you....Virgo...xoxoxo

Posted by: virgowoman2 at January 18, 2010 8:08 PM

Posted by: quest4u2 at January 15, 2010 2:04 PM

Some very good points Quest4u2.

I must admit I am amazed some times when people put up photos that look like they've just got out of bed or they have just walked in the door after a long and dirty day at work and are still in their work clothes.
Seems an odd thing to do really, unless they think if people see them at their worst......

Maybe if it's just one picture out of two or three, but then I am just curious as to why someone wouldn't bother to try to make an effort.
Aren't we in effect, all advertising? Would anyone advertise their car looking like that?

Anyway, trying to make an effort hasn't exactly worked for me. Yet!
But I love your point about not needing to get a lot of interest.
You are so right, we just need those one or two people who might actually be for us!

I honestly can't understand why anyone would even want to be in the top 100. I understand that for some people it might be a great boost for the ego, but I imagine it would kind of feed off itself.
The more popular you are, the more people the type you AREN"T looking for would contact you simply because you are so popular.

I agree with you about finances as well. Hey, unless were were really well off to start with and we got a very generous settlement (and I may be wrong but I think more women do that than men!) or your ex was a drinker/gambler, then it is unlikely you are going to recover financially for quite a number of years. That's why so many people will put up with anything rather than separate and Divorce!
Divorce mkes us all poorer.
Especially any one who has younger children.

And no you don't sound arrogant at all, just realistic!

Posted by: amberlightrose at January 16, 2010 3:49 PM

Sorry folks, late joining the party, but I have a couple of 2 cent coins I want to throw into the pot . . .

>Do we still expect men to make the first move?
Yeah, pretty much, but there are some brave soles out there (and to you I say, more power to you, be brave, be strong) but guys have decades to learn how deal with that initial rejection (slowly eroding confidence over time), so must they - but I recognise it must feel hurtful because it is.

aquamanda56 and her profile review:
I agree with Isidore. Use her wording for family of three, drop the 'younger' bit (what if the flat 2 dimensional photos don't look exactly like the ravishing 3 dimensional person) and Hell Yeah! on the bright vibrant photo thing. Men are practical, we take one look at the mobile phone pics and see the slightly distorted, minimal effort made and then try to imagine what people look in real life - make it as easy as possible for someone to see the 'real' person in a mood they would like to join in. Contrast this: effort spent selecting clothing & makeup creating a wonderful image EVERY TIME she goes out to a social Vs quick, shoddy picture to get this profile over and done with - a photo only happens once yet it gets less effort, doesn't make sense when you say it out loud does it? Don't worry so much about not attracting lots of contacts, need to attract the one or two appropriate contacts.
Agree with Isidore on stamp comments, you will use those stamps when you see something you like and not before. (more below)
Writing in general; write about what you do, not what you want. Talk a bit more about what did/how enjoyed ............. . The difference between a 'gym-junkie' and an 'active person' is in the perspective of the reader,'able to cook' means soooo very different in degrees of skill to each individual. Tell a story, let the reader evaluate whether it matches their own interests. Often the longer the description the better, we DO get these things for the articles ya know.

We're guys, if we see someone that's attractive to us, we then read the story to see if it matches our own lifestyle. If this results in a false match its because there was not enough info to determine if he/she isn't our type.
Now, notice I said "attractive to us" not "pretty", every one has different 'types' EG mine is shorter than me with a bit extra for curves not angles, etc, etc - OBVIOUSLY not the same as the next guy. Its not about the number of hits, its about eliminating the misses so that one or two really close matches can get through (instead of you being 'hidden' cause you're coffee-ing with the mistakes).

amberlightrose said:
>But nice people are not necessarily well off financially.
Yeah, that would be like me. Two things go with that:
1. If a person is genuinely "nice" then they tend not to 'take advantage', NOT choose options of self over others, etc. Over a long time (decades) this slower progress towards success means they get left behind compared to other more 'self reliant' or even 'selfish' folk (remember the difference is: if doing it= self reliant/assertive, if being done to= selfish/arrogant). And we know it, so we don't attempt to choose potential partners we 'perceive' as expecting someone we are not - and maybe missing someone really nice in the process.
2. Less financial can be the effect of historical events on a person, multiple divorces tend to bugger up home ownership for most guys. Often can weather first divorce but second tends to leave many of us house-less. And we know it, so have to choose women who's profiles indicate that finances is less of an emphasis than it is for others - and miss someone ...

And don't get me started on the costs of making contact, can spend as much on virtual stamps/subscriptions as on first dinners (which bring me back to non-financial :-)
Agree with Isidore on stamp comments. OTOH, RSViP allows stamps to last, at a cheaper rate per month - I think - don't hold me to that, depends on usage of course :-} but I figure two stamps a month is more than the RSViP rate, maybe, possibly, your mileage may vary.

I apologise if this all sounds arrogant, like I think I know what I am talking about - but I did spend a decade or more helping people & businesses talk to their clients/audiences, and personally I'm pretty happy with how things are progressing for me so far :-)

Posted by: quest4u2 at January 15, 2010 2:04 PM

My 83 year old neighbour had her hair done the other day as her 'toyboy' husband is soon turning 80. She has foils of three colours and then decided on a pink streak near the front.

She looks fabulous and is so much fun. They have a brand new Honda CRV, jet black with black leather which gleams and she found some Raybans that are black but have pink on the inside, very discreet. I think the days of the blue rinse set have gone, and oh thank goodness for that.

Posted by: iaminperth at January 15, 2010 12:34 PM

Gracious Isi!
If I had done that, there would be no way I could delude myself that I can put off getting those reading glasses for another year or two :)

Aqua,
I know what you mean. I think you need (we all need) to just hang in there, like Willow says.

I do tend to agree with Isi though, about definitely taking out the word "average" and any comment about "looking younger" and letting your 'viewers' make that decision.
I actually think you look younger than your age too, but it just doesn't sound great when the person says it, if you can understand what I mean.
LOTS of men do the "I look younger" bit and to me it seems either slightly desperate [as usually they just want a much younger woman on their arm] and sometimes it is just plain delusional because they clearly don't "look much younger" at all!

On topic (yay!) about who makes the first move, I am not sending any kisses at the moment.
That is because I don't have any stamps, so it seems pointless when I can't follow up if I got a positive response anyway!

The reason for this?
As a single parent at this time of the year, I can't justify spending $60 on stamps (even if they did offer double the amount!) "just in case" I send a kiss and someone actually indicates they MAY be interested.

I have requested, as have others that RSVP allows the purchase of one or two stamps at a time, even if they were $12 or $15 each, but it seems they are not keen to listen.
It appears they think all "their" people have higher incomes and can just afford to "blow" $60 (which to be honest is what we actually do; I imagine there is not one person who hasn't sent at least one invited email that's been ignored!)

The expiry date for 6 stamps of 2 months is ridiculous.
I am sure there are many people like me, who even if a profile sounds okay , find that once you check THEIR wishlist, they are definitely not looking for someone like you!
So I rarely find someone I would be game or confident enough to "kiss" much less send an email to!

I have tried the other major dating site that is totally free. But I find I hate being "nudged" and "winked" at constantly by men who are not the slightest bit like the person I am looking for!
I find it feels rather like walking into a sleazy nightclub! And I feel rather harassed.

I am sure there are really nice people on there but I haven't got the time (and find it irritating) to be "pushing away" the ones who are obviously not looking for what I am , who as soon a you log in, are "all over you like a rash" so to speak.

I kind of like the aspect of RSVP in that if a man thinks you are worth spending a stamp on, then at least you know they think you are worth something!
Maybe it's just me, but I think that is just a tad classier!

But nice people are not necessarily well off financially.
I perhaps may be more appealing to a single father with 'still youngish' children, who like me, isn't going to "gamble" a movie with his kids ($60) to contact maybe one person he thinks might be on his wavelength!

Can RSVP tell us why they refuse to take on board the idea of just one or two stamps?

Posted by: amberlightrose at January 14, 2010 8:52 AM

Thanks Isi! I had the same thoughts myself but was feeling a bit perplexed by responses/non responses at the time..no matter :) Thanks Willow, I'm hanging in there. Just been googling holiday rentals in Tuscany.....nothing like planning ahead :D Talking about grey hair...I grew my colour out a couple of years ago, at first it was interesting but after a few months I was over it, I'm sticking with a colour that's pretty close to what was natural. I've had a lovely week last week before back to work...a wax, manicure, pedicure and haircut...I'm up for a massage, any volunteers he he. Good night everyone.

Posted by: aquamanda56 at January 13, 2010 12:06 AM

Hi Folks

No worries amberlightrose...its a tricky one :)
Hey, look on the bright side, you could have called me ...'Isadork'! ha ha!

Posted by: isidore at January 12, 2010 10:03 PM

Francois Mitterrand said of Maggie Thatcher "What a woman: the lips of Marilyn Monroe and the eyes of Caligula!" I think overall he approved.
verticalaussie (or James): domestic violence against men is one of the dark little secrets that gets a lot less publicity. I've appeared for domestic violence victims including one whose sons carried on where the husband left off. Someone very close to me was the victim of rape and domestic violence - it is hard to recover. But you must, otherwise you remain their victim. It was bad for you - you did the right thing in ditching her and getting her charged. But it's the past. As for Madam $$$, it sounds like you had a narrow escape. But here's the good thing: you defended your assets and yourself appropriately. But again it's the past and the past doesn't have to repeat itself unless we fail to learn from it.
Once again Isidore has it right: you sound like a decent guy who has had some bad experiences. But those two bad experiences don't mean that all women are like that. By all means stay single until you find the right one for you - just don't stay single because you are convinced that the right woman doesn't exist.
For what it's worth on the subject of stamps and e-mails, my profile points out that I love writing and have manners, so I will reply to all kisses and e-mails. I do too. I can't impose my manners on others - all I can say is how I will treat them.

Posted by: firstsoprano at January 12, 2010 6:52 PM

Thanks Aunty..!

FG:)

Posted by: feelgood76 at January 12, 2010 4:59 PM

Thanks amber ... I have had this colour .. for afew years now.. it was pink and black at one stage but purple is my fave colour.. so purple it stays.. and when I am a little old lady I am defo doing the purple rinse thing hehehe.. And I think that the age thing.. is just a state of mind and attitude..but thanks!!

Iaminperth.. I do abstract painting.. and have done a self-portrait. I love colour.. but also love shades of grey. so incorporate lots of that into my work. I also love lino cutting and printing... If i could i would post my website link but ahhh thats a norty norty hehe..
Sounds like you have the photography all sussed out.. My camera has been playing up a bit.. not sure why.. Photography is such a wonderful way to see the world I think.. nothing like it.. good luck with it!!

Posted by: suzieqt6 at January 12, 2010 3:11 PM

Amanda, I think your profile is fine. Just hang in there :)

Posted by: willow29 at January 12, 2010 11:47 AM

Suzie, had to have another look, I hadn't looked at your age but you sure don't look it!

FG, page 21 this weeks Grazia, before and after photos of your dreamgirl........ meow. George would NEVER do anything to his beautiful face I'm sure.....

Posted by: aloveoflife at January 12, 2010 11:39 AM

Sorry Isidore!
For some reaon I seem to keep addressing you as "Isadore."
There was one blogger on here whose name was "Malsie" that for some reason, (probably self-denial about needing glasses) I kept calling "Maisie" until she drew my attention to it.

It seems reading glasses AND colouring my grey hair needs to be the order of the day!

Posted by: amberlightrose at January 12, 2010 11:20 AM

Hi folks

amerlightrose we all have our stories and our takes on the way things are based on our values and whats important to us.
Our values are very different :)

aquamanda56 since you asked the question I will add a couple of things that you might consider.
First up you have a great profile and natural photos.
You say;
"I keep active, but I have had 3 children, I am average for my age, though people often think I am younger. "

I'd take the 'but' out for starters and perhaps state you have 3 wonderful children who have all left home or something along those lines.
I wouldnt say you are 'average' either. And younger? Let your photos tell that story and then others can see that for themselves.
I would consider taking a few of them out and only putting those ones that look vibrant and happy because they stand out and go with what you are saying in your profile. Your first 2 photos are your best...sometimes less is more :)

You say;
"I have stamps and and will use them, if I send an email please be courteous enough to reply"

I think you can phrase this better. You can't make someone reply...as much as some of us are courteous and respectful enough to do that....others are not. Might sound (to some) like you are a control freak ;)
Your stamp comment sounds more like a threat...i'd keep that to yourself to use at your discretion.

All up you sound vibrant, interesting and ready to embrace another chapter in your life.
Hope ive helped in some small way. Goodluck :)

Posted by: isidore at January 12, 2010 11:00 AM

However, I loved the article by Mark Patinkin written in September 2007 (the same year Anne Kreamer wrote her book) called "Going gray is no big deal for men".

Was very humerous I thought and certainly put a male perspective on things!
As well as his opinion about women with grey hair :)

Posted by: amberlightrose at January 11, 2010 10:53 PM

What type of art are we talking about Suzie ? I love photography also and have now upgraded to new supa dupa model. Looking foward to getting out and about but want to learn more about it.

and try to do some 'tricky' stuff with dark and shadows etc.
Whatever, I know that I will enjoy it more once I learn how to use it all properly. Have always had Canon but this is a Nikkon and a little different, couple of pretty snappy lenses also.

Posted by: iaminperth at January 11, 2010 10:36 PM

Cool hair Suzie! (I could never have been THAT game!)
I wouldn't have picked for being in your early 40s either :)

Posted by: amberlightrose at January 11, 2010 10:25 PM

What good story Isadore? I don't quite get your drift.
I was actually commenting on the amount of time and money it takes for a woman "to take care of herself" in many men's eyes, in comparison to the men themselves.

What I seem to notice, is that if men exercise, shower and either shave regularly or keep their beards trimmed, dress reasonably and have a decent hair cut, then they consider they are taking pride in themselves.

But for women it is usually quite a bit more complicated.
Many men want all of the above (minus trimming their beards and shaving facial and neck hair, I expect!) as well as well-styled and coloured hair, manicured nails, regular waxing, skin care, make up, great clothes and shoes (and even in some cases; cosmetic surgery) to be a part of a woman's grooming and "taking pride in herself".

Obviously this is going to take a lot more time (and money) for any woman than it is for a man!

My comments about grey hair were simply to point out the differences between how hard women have it in comparison to men, when it comes to what is considered "attractive" when you are getting older.

Yes there are women with grey hair in positions of power, but they are certainly in the minority.
An example is the US Congress. I think I remember reading that while there are over 60+ women in Congress, all but half-a-dozen of them dyed their hair.

How many women in politics in Australia go "grey naturale", compared to men?
Even Maggie Thatcher coloured her hair!

And yes there are women who look stunning with grey hair, but they tend to be the ones blessed with the silver- white kind or a steely-grey colour, not the yellowy-grey or pepper and salt kind!
For men society is not quite so fussy!

While I wasn't discussing weight (but you did mention it) I also think that women are more inclined to overlook (a few!) extra kilos in a potential partner than men are.
You even stated yourself "hey they are great people...but not attractive sexy people".

Interestingly Kreamer despite being a convert of embracing her grey hair, (she admitted that being happily married helped her decide to do it) observed during her social 'experiments' that women with grey hair were at a distinct disadvantage in the workplace, compared to those who coloured their hair.
Women in high-powered jobs who had been there for many years lost no respect being grey-haired, but a woman wanting employment would have a far more difficult time getting a job if she didn't obscure her greys.

BTW, on Maggie Thatcher, I have read quite a few articles on her recently and apparently there were quite a lot of men who thought her "hot" in her younger days!
Maybe she appealed to their 'dominatrix' fantasies!

Posted by: amberlightrose at January 11, 2010 10:20 PM

I think I would like to take the 50/50 stand as far as move making goes. But... I guess there are different stages when a first move is more accepted.

For instance, the very first move...or the sending of a kiss here, I think mostly it's expected that the men should. My experience is that when I send kiss I mostly get a negative response, that could be that I choose the wrong men though, couldn't it? Or I have an unappealing profile, but often it seems that they haven't looked at my profile....my pictures aren't that bad...LOL

Anyway, if anyone would like to offer some profile advice, I'm open to suggestions...err go easy ;) RSVP gave me double the stamps when I bought some (maybe to compensate for the emails I've sent on request that were not answered?) so I have plenty to use and no takers....could it be a Canberra thing?

Posted by: aquamanda56 at January 11, 2010 10:01 PM

Ah photography is a wonderful thing.. I have a great Olympus E510 , two lenses and have used it to help my art along.. actually having an exhibition this year of my work, both photographic and painting .. also some printing :-) Shame y ou can't meet men that way .. 'sigh' have tried and failed. hehe :-)

Posted by: suzieqt6 at January 11, 2010 9:15 PM

Hiya Suzie

I've seen you before and know some of your blogging friends:) Wild hair do babe!

Good points Isidore

Ali.., me cause trouble... wash your mouth out young lady..:) Never..!

Hi perthy, I love photography, own a few cameras complemented with assortment of lenses. Haven't had much time of late to get out there and shoot, but love the different perspective you get of things when looking through the camera.

See later guys gotta split,

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at January 11, 2010 4:28 PM

Hi iaminperth... have a look at my profile and you can see what my hair looks like.. It is purple at the front.. black at the back and no not hard to maintain..I do it myself :-)

Posted by: suzieqt6 at January 11, 2010 11:20 AM

Hi Folks

Women with grey hair do get into positions of power....I work with one. She is neither beautiful, slim, etc etc etc....but she obviously is smart....and shes played the game no doubt that ALL sexes need to play to some degrees to get to the top.
Fat women get into power too. Got those at work as well. Oh yes, got a short and overweight lesbian woman in a position of power as well, and another fat ordinary looking woman working in a position of power....
And hey they are great people...but not attractive sexy people...they are ordinary hard working people that deserve their positions.
They didnt get therir jobs because they were the best looking person available.

The argument just doesnt hold up.

Historically its been hard for women to get past the 'glass ceiling'...I think you'll find though that bending over in a short dress in front of the boss and smiling and giggling...can only take you so far.
The glass ceiling isnt just 'gender' based its based on the amount of work you want to do and often how many bums you want to scratch on the way up ;)
(Hilary was up for President wasn't she? ;)
Yulia Tymoshenko Ukraine Prime Minister (ok so shes attractive...but not that young either)
Somehow Maggie Thatcher (great effort considering the times...a pioneer for women)30 odd years ago got to be Prime Minister..hmmm how'd she do that based on the criteria of being attractive and slim? I've lost count of the amount of 'men' I talk to complaining about how they cannot get a new position.....'he' got it...or 'she' got it....but I didnt.

Lets not let a good story get in the way of facts shall we? ;)

Verti sounds like you are a decent guy who has had a couple of unfortunate episodes in longer term relationships?
Sometimes you've just got to try to move on with an open heart and mind...it is challenging when things go wrong.
I know a number of men and women who had partners try to take them for $$$...particularly newish partners with an obvious intent to get what they can...often with little, if any, contribution or claim to such things. Just got to be careful...unfortunately.

I operate on; "Whats mine is mine, whats yours is yours"...particularly at my age. Starting out young together and looking to build a life and family would be a different approach.
But its different for people imo who are now past that point.
I don't think a partner can lay claim to anothers wealth, particularly if that wealth was evident 'before' they came along.
I'm interested in someone because of who they are and the attraction I have for them....not their bank balance. You can't sleep with $$$ and kissing them $$$ a bad after taste...from what ive been told ;)

Pretty sad when a partner goes for gold knowing they havent contributed to it.
Note that doesnt include married men and women with kids and years together. Women (or men) in that situation deserve their share....particularly women who have often sacrificed their career and lifestyle to work for Dad and the kids.

And hey for the record, if Isidore was employing people he'd go for middle aged women whatever coloured hair or weight range. In my experience they are more reliable and mature and dependable....regardless of how attractive they might be ;)

Discrimination on another level perhaps against the young and attractive workers?

Oh well, you get that! ;)

Posted by: isidore at January 11, 2010 10:37 AM

This Christmas I received a fabulous new camera so I thought I would take myself off to get some lessons.

I love photography and a bit of a nut but now I have more time on my hands I thought I would actually try to learn some more about it. That's going to be my 'thing' for this year. I have tried to think what I wanted to learn as a hobby so the camera is it.

My daughter is learning Spanish which I think it pretty difficult when you get to the male/female nouns pronouns thing so thought I would take the easier way out and study french. So that should keep the brain ticking away for a while longer I hope. I have the horrors of becoming dopey in later life so I want to do lots of 'stuff' to keep it working, or that's the plan anyway !!

We have huge white parakeets visiting each morning to chew on a fir tree and I was toying with the idea of putting food out. I think I would if not considering selling but as lovely as they are, they are so messy and noisy. Might lave them to chomping on the tree.

Posted by: iaminperth at January 11, 2010 10:17 AM

Hey Suzie, Purple and black hair. Is it layered or streaked. It really must be a statement and look so shiney with the different tones. Some of the kids here have white hair and then the underneath has been died a different colour, looks spectacular in the sunshine, although I would imagine hard to maintain.

Posted by: iaminperth at January 11, 2010 10:07 AM

Hi aloveoflife... yeah I kind of figured that was the case about checking me out.. was all said tongue in cheek.. As i said have been on the forums a few years back.. so know what goes on :-)

Hey amberlightrose this comment made me chuckle 'If a woman allows herself to go naturally grey, she would most probably not even be considered for a job in customer service, hospitality or in a front desk job in an office.
Not so for men...... I have purple and black hair and yeah it might be that I would have problems getting such a job but I think that iw ould be more because of my age rather then my hair colour :-)

Posted by: suzieqt6 at January 10, 2010 10:25 PM

FG, moi thinks you are trying to cause a little trouble here.... ;-)
Ali

Posted by: ali1974 at January 10, 2010 8:13 PM

Also I am not looking for your sympathy but the Australian government is all about womens rights....What happened to mens....Cheers

Posted by: verticalaussie at January 10, 2010 8:03 PM

lol after I recovered from the amount of advice I got from you and the counseling HA HA I have decided on my response..firstly it was a typo error that I categorized generation X specifically, I did mean both X and Y in my statement...also I was seeing a lady briefly which is now why I am now single again...perhaps I had a minor delusion in my statement...I do believe that the first genre as indicated in my previous post is valid...Let me tell you i think I am a wonderful partner...I can cook, I am clean in lifestyle and home and successful with good values and fun...perhaps I am burned but I spent my twenties into my early thirties with two women. One was scottish and glassed me in the face during an argument and as an advocate of violence against women to stop the situation escalating any further had to get her charged and the other after buying her an engagement ring she dropped a catalogue on my lap a week later saying I cannot believe only spent $3000 on this ring, this is after moving into my house and turning into a monster and as a consequence I kicked her out only to then be pursued through lawyers for $30,000 for her contribution to my property which was false...Don't worry her mother worked for the solicitor firm that pursued me and it thankfully only cost me $3000 to get her off my back....After losing and resulting in her not being successful with this rife I then get smacked with statements of I have always wanted to sleep with your best mate and will have sex with him if I see him to I hope your fall into a deep depression and top yourself and the closure a Domestic Violence Order to top it all off.....I have a lot of mates some of them have relationships and each of them imply they are over the grief....I have taken onboard what each of you have said but if you attempt trying to be a dictator or grief master to your present or future partner...you would have no need to be posting on an RSVP website....Good luck...I am intelligent and happy to remain single thanks...AND DOING WELL

Posted by: verticalaussie at January 10, 2010 8:01 PM

Alove.. Pining... cough cough..
that kind of talk is a bit hip for you.

George will get cut if he see's you with Bruce. Alove you're gunna have to scissor, rock, paper Ali for him... It's the only way.

And no can't have my surfboard.

Swim girlfriend:)

Posted by: feelgood76 at January 10, 2010 7:58 PM

heehee...no prob Alove. Done deal :-)

heehee...oh FG will be ok, won't you...?

Say hi to Virgo.

Ali
:-)

Posted by: ali1974 at January 10, 2010 7:43 PM

Hi Iwonderwho

Your right..... If Jen Hawkins asked me out on a date it would go head down arse up for sure...!!;))

Sorry i missed her eyes Ali and Alove... I'll pay more attention to the finner things, next time:)

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at January 10, 2010 7:34 PM

No probs Ali but if we find George is hanging out with Bruce then I get Bruce - agreed?!? OK then... FG is grinding his teeth at me for bringing up George again.....

Yep Amber, jetlag gone, now sleeping better than before, average 9 hours a nite which is bliss, had to get rid of a bad headcold and lost my voice, I guess when you go from 31 to -2 back to 29 degrees this is bound to happen. Back to work tomorrow, if back to 100%, I'm not one of those who go to work sick and then spread it thru the office. Did take Perthy's advice and got stuck into bananas and fruit and lots of water and it works good. Still pining for Paris though, I'll be back there in 18 months or less, maybe I'll take a lover......

Oooh la la, our lovely Virgo would say, hi Sis! Looking forward to a looong chat Lovely. Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at January 10, 2010 6:43 PM

Alove...I'll join on the George hunt
Ali
:-))))

Posted by: ali1974 at January 10, 2010 6:15 PM

Hi Alove,
Over the jet lag yet? Honestly I don't think men really notice when women have cosmetic surgery done, unless it's well, implants!
As you say "look up" guys!
However, they damn well seem to notice if a woman doesn't do something!

Found an interesting article written early last year. In 1950 only 10% of women actually coloured their hair, now they estimate around 75% of women do so (and rising!).
So once hardly any women did it, now young women are growing up believing that hair dye is just part of life, not even a choice!
So much for feminism, when it has now become socially acceptable that "double standards" remain adn are increaingly so, very much a part of our lives.
A woman who doesn't dye her hair is thought to be "letting herself go" yet for men, grey hair is considered "distinguished" even sexy (ala gorgeous George).
If a woman allows herself to go naturally grey, she would most probably not even be considered for a job in customer service, hospitality or in a front desk job in an office.
Not so for men.

An American media executive called Anne Kreamer wrote a best selling book called "Going Gray: What I Learned About Beauty, Sex, Work, Motherhood, Authenticity and Everything Else That Matters" after allowing her hair to revert to its natural colour; grey (she had been colouring her hair for over 25 years to look younger).
Anne was interviewed on Radio National in February 2008, which resulted in a national Australian "Going grey Challenge".
How many of us even heard about it, or would be game enough to participate?
At least one high profile participant, caved in under pressure after only a few months!

We all know what guys consider means that a woman is taking "pride in her appearance" or "looking after herself" but what do men consider, other than regularly exercising/going to the gym is "looking after" or "taking pride" in themselves?
What exactly do they think that time-wise and money-wise, is the difference in "cost of upkeep" between men and women?

I would guarantee that most men's expectations of a future partner would mean that every woman needs to earn several thousand dollars a year more, than most men, just to do the basics!

What do others think? Am I right?

Posted by: amberlightrose at January 10, 2010 6:01 PM

Hi iwonderwho,
Yes, I think it does makes it pretty difficult for women on here; damned if you do, damned if you don't!
I guess if we all looked like Jennifer Hawkins or Liz Hurley, it might make a BIG difference!
But then they they would hardly frequent RSVP would they?!

Yes life has changed a lot, but somehow I think the dating "rules" will never really change!

Posted by: amberlightrose at January 10, 2010 5:16 PM

Hey Suzie, I think you'll find that people just want to put a face to the blog, especially when a new name pops up - yep I had a look at your profile, not sizing up the comp or changing teams - relax!

Posted by: aloveoflife at January 10, 2010 2:40 PM

I believe in old fashion tradition, the male should ask the woman out of a date. At least that way you know he is keen and wants to be with you and i'ts not because he was afraid to say "No" to you request. The female can always give him hints that she's interested but should'nt play too hard to get, otherwise she'll scare him off!!
I believe a woman asking a guy on a date will go nowhere.

Posted by: iwonderwho at January 10, 2010 2:08 AM

verticalaussie, interesting blog, I'm intrigued why you're even commenting on Gen X's, aren't they a little out of your ideal partner age, are you looking for a cougar.....? (not offering!)

Posted by: kinect at January 9, 2010 9:11 AM

Hey suzieqt6, I have absolutely similar story like you do. Highly agree on your comment. Sometimes I though if there is not sparks between us, friendship is fine as well. But huh... don't think everyone perceive that way!!

Posted by: marinasha at January 9, 2010 2:16 AM

Wow.. write once on the forum and all the women check you out.. I wonder if its checking out the competition or hmm perhaps batting for the other side? hahaha..

And I am an old hand at these forums..been there done that.. seems like nothing changes much on here at all :-) Just the names..

Posted by: suzieqt6 at January 8, 2010 11:15 PM

Nephew!!! Eyes up! Check out her eyes and nose - for gawd's sake I know what you were thinking, she's had facial work - look at her pre Miss World photos and the now photos - very obvious!!! Boy, what time is it in Perth I'm ringing your Mum now..

Now George, well I'm looking for tips to get to his villa at Lake Como, apparently there is now a law that you can't go near his place even via water - gotta be a way around that one - can you lend me your surfboard Nephew? Now he is class all the way, smooth..... those eyes melt butter and ice..................

Have fun you wicked boy! Alove.

Posted by: aloveoflife at January 8, 2010 11:03 PM

Hi FG :-)
I think you need to spend more time checking out Jen ;-) just in case you missed something
Ali
xo

Posted by: ali1974 at January 8, 2010 10:28 PM

Hi Alove i checked out Jen and i couldn't see any obvious 'enhancements' and i looked pretty hard..! ( no pun intended) So can you point them out for me..??!?!

Hey isidore don't get her started on George Clooney .... sheesh! you'll be here for weeks...!

Hi Ali:) bye Ali:))

Got to run, i'm out on the town tonight!!:))

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at January 8, 2010 9:20 PM

In my most recent experience on here I have found that men are not too keen on women making the first move.. sending a kiss yes is ok.. but it would seem that actually asking someone out or offering a phone number is not really liked.
Had one date recently .. went really well... 5 hours of chatting over coffee then dinner.. I actually figured that friends would be great.. and see from there.. but it would seem sending a text message a couple of days later was perceived as 'too much pressure"..and yet all I said was Hello.. hows it going? Sheesh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is a girl to do?? ;-)

Posted by: suzieqt6 at January 8, 2010 7:52 PM

Ha ha! alove, funny you say that, its what I regularly say to any of the girls at work who get a haircut...delivered straight faced of course!

Yes please, any leftovers, no matter what colour please save them for me....

Super glue is such a wonderful thing ;)

Re your comments on George Clooney from a male perspective i'd say he has the heads up on Jen....Jen looks great...George looks and is great...modern day Rhett Butler imo. Total package...although we dont get to see Georges bod much....a suit is a great camouflage for a lot of guys ;)
Very flattering for bigger men.
And Bruce? Makes a great movie and charisma to go with it...
Totally agree!

Sheesh anyone just dropping in would think this blog is a totally shallow physically obsessed thread....

Posted by: isidore at January 8, 2010 11:43 AM

Lordy Perth and Ali, thanks for the heads up on Dubai, I used to work with a couple of very fashion conscious girls who would go there on a yearly fashion buy up, they praised how safe it was for them and encouraged me to go, but I think if I do it will be with a friend!!

Isidore, re the hair, if it's any consolation, had a verrrry relaxing facial today, then straight into the hair salon at the day spa I go to, whilst the colour was on I nodded off, they forgot me..... now verrrry blonde highlights are hiding the greys. Big whoops! Could have kept you the 4" I had chopped off thou!

George Clooney, yep could drool over him all day long, in reality he is a fantasy.

Jen Hawkins, check out her earlier photos and compare them to now - there are quite a few obvious 'enhancements' - natural woman - I think not..... meow! Still she looks good and I give her credit for that but she and others like her are the ones that give us the misconceptions about what men want - and suckers are us for buying the media that portrays them.

In actual fact I read an article recently about Bruce Willis (another fantasy), apparently he is quiet, reserved but has a presence about him that has people in awe. Have another look, he is lined and bald but darned sexy. I know where he can put his boots.... Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at January 7, 2010 10:35 PM

James, was going to ask the same questions as Alove has pointed out (January 6, 2010 4:55 PM). Your blog and your profile contradict each other. Additionally...what type of woman are you trying to attract with your reference to back hair?

I find your post about the types of Gen-X women a bit insulting (January 6, 2010 11:32 AM). I'm a gen X-er and I don't believe I fit into either of your two categories. I'm no feminist, I believe in equality. Having said that I refuse to put up with a chauvenistic male. Do I have boxes that I check off?? Yes, I do. But they focus on the quality of the person (ok...and his being taller than me so I can wear heels...but I state that openly :-) ). The check boxes are about how he treats me, his/my friends and family, do we have similar morals/ethics...these are important and will always exist in my world. I refuse to put up with people who treat others poorly and if those boxes aren't ticked...it goes no further. It's about being treated with basic human decency and respect.

There is nothing wrong with having values, whether they be the same or different to yours. IMO having values indicates the person cares. As for having expectations, that is no different to having a dream...and whether or not it comes true, we all have dreams throughout our lives and again, IMO, not having a dream regardless how big or small seems to indicate giving up on life. I choose to dream.

"This type of woman thrives on attention"..."This only serves to boost their ego"
Most men and women want some attention. It makes us feel good about ourselves. Being wanted and valued is a basic psychological need. There's nothing wrong with this. The only thing that is wrong is the poor treatment of the other person, the manner in which they end their dealings with each other. I agree that treating another badly is unacceptable regardless who is involved.

"Trust me I have thought a lot about this"
A rule in business is to not trust the person who has to make the claim "trust me". I don't believe you have really thought about this as there are many more types of women out there than the 2 you have defined.

"this woman is only going to spend years single to eventually lower her expectations when desperate and choose someone that is neither compatable or suitable resulting eventually in seperation."
This reads as though you are blaming 'her' for the separation that might occur. But you seem to forget to note that there are 2-parties in that relationship. Ok, maybe the woman did make the wrong decision at the time. However, if there was a man in that relationship (as the other party)...what was he doing when the relationship was coming to an end?? More often than not, relationship endings are like pantene...it won't happen overnight, but (when it starts to end) it will happen...so where was he?
why didn't he try to work on it and save the relationship? did he want to save it?

I also don't belong in the second category. Some of us on this site who blog here and those who just lurk and search, fall into the 35+ category and we're 'good ones' but not taken. We don't fall into either category. We have self esteem. We don't thrive on putting others down. We're not interested in playing games. We do think for ourselves and don't need anyone to control us. We are comfortable with who we are and not so desperate that we will settle for the next person who looks in our direction.

Given who you don't want to be searching for...essentially us Gen X-ers, it seems to leave you with either those who follow Gen-X, and the Gen-Y's are stereotyped for their fusiness and demands (no offense intended to Gen Y's) and those who preceed the Gen X - lived life and know it's okay to tell it like it is.

You point out "I think the single life I have experienced is a joke." Important thing to remember and you travel the road of life...noone else is responsible for your experiences, to make you happy to ensure you enjoy your life. The experiences we encounter are the result of decisions we make....if it's a joke, then take a little more time to establish what is it your after. Maybe you're not being true to yourself and the result is such.

I realise that's alot of thought and opinion, but I was insulted with your two categories. Maybe some further thought might be required on your part....

Again, agree with Alove, think you may have recently been hurt from an experience and maybe angry over it.

Ali

Posted by: ali1974 at January 7, 2010 9:58 PM

Hey Perth,
Agree with the culture shock of Dubai. Spent a few days on my own in Dubai and definitely got a shock and a little freaked out. Would recommend travelling there with a friend rather than on own.
Ali
:-)

Posted by: ali1974 at January 7, 2010 9:55 PM

Hi Folks

Hi amberlightrose please don't take what I am saying personally as its not aimed at anyone. I stick to the issue/topic and am never interested in personalising anything. Nothing to gain except a loss of credibility on that front.
Thanks for your generous comments too amberlighrose :)

Hugh Jackman not airbrushed make a difference to me?
Glad you raised that. An important point.
Thats the difference here. I think hes great. I think his body is incredible, I think he has a fantastic personality and hes a good actor. His committment to his family is commendable. Hes the total package.
I dont see him as a negative example at all. On any number of criteria I could not compete with Hugh Jackman...but its not a competition.
Airbrushed or not. He is an example of what 40 odd 'can' look like, or how 40 odd can 'be' like in attitude and presentation.
Ladies take a look, how many guys look like that, sing like that, have his presence, his personality etc etc etc.

The whole purpose 'for me' in these blogs is to discuss issues as honestly as I can :)
I make no apologies/excuses for being focused (in this blog inparticular) on physical attraction. I am a red blooded male after all...and proud of it ha ha!
It gets down to values and whats 'really' important to the person.
I might say I happen to have a number of interests and values 'outside of' physical attraction....and physical atttraction alone is not enough 'for me'..but hey I could write a book on it ;)
We are on a blog about relationships.
I am happy to discuss life the universe and everything else as well in another blog ;)

I actually agree with a lot of your sentiment and thoughts. You make a lot of sense. What you say is pretty spot on. We live in a multi dimensional world with any number of possible outcomes and approaches.

It doesnt change the way 'people' are attracted to each other.
A politically correct approach can not be applied to 'attraction'...not now anyway. maybe over generations perhaps.
I agree though that society pushes these images at all of us, we in turn respond to these images, and create a reality according to that.

Personally I am comfortable with that. Its operating in the world 'with that awareness'

Kate Moss, a glowing example of skinny super models, recently said something that got a lot of criticism;

"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."

Basically shes been bagged out for it. But again, she makes a valid point and emphasises 'her' values.
Ok we know young Kate has also hit drugs at different times and certainly has had some issues etc etc....again her decision.
I admit she perhaps isnt the best of examples..
Liz Hurley (44) has said similar about her slim figure.
She is disciplined enough to want to look a certain way so she doesnt abuse her body by over eating or eating copious amounts of junk food.
Of course some might say she under eats and is at risk.
I think i'd risk her approach in front of a sedentary lifestyle and maccas and coke.
Its her decision.
If you look at so many people who are slim, they are disciplined with their food intake.
They are usually..not always..but usually focused on healthy food options..

iaminperth, I agree 6 foot helps these women immensely.
She has enough money to retire 'right now' and move on to something else. Shes smart....or at least her managers are ;) Modelling is but one aspect to her. She will develop herself and her talents i'm sure. Look at how Elle has moved on.
I think Jens got it all figured..either way financially she is set.
And yes, as beautiful as she is, she does always have 'that look' ;)

Hey, theres probably even a very good case for carbon friendly people not consuming as much as others...lets not go there ;)
Carbon credits anyone? ;)

At the end of the day we are animals. Animals seek to pass on their genes. They pass them on to the best possible option. The strongest, the fittest usually.
Hey im an avid watcher of Discovery channel and Animal Planet okay ;)

Lets not get too politically correct about our hormones and animal instincts :))

Posted by: isidore at January 7, 2010 9:43 PM

Hi James,
Seems to me that what you term "feminists" or others have called "princesses" who chew men up and spit them out actually ARE women with high self esteem who look after themselves. They are looking out for themselves and happen not to be attracted to you! I think that's where basic kindness and decency comes in. In my experience "princesses" tend to lack both.

Isidore is quite right - it's about taking care of yourself inside and out, of looking and being the best you can for your age. That's a part of what being attractive is about along with having good self-esteem and and a full life, keeping busy, flexible and connected to people.

Please don't knock kindness and friendliness in women - they are part of the positive aspects of female self-esteem. It's only when they spring from low self-esteem rather than inner strength that there is a problem.

Of course there are other women with high self-esteem who look after themselves who are also not "princesses".The trick is to find them and be as attractive to them as they are attractive to you.

Posted by: firstsoprano at January 7, 2010 3:13 PM

Hello,
I�m from the old school to a certain degree, though I have sent kisses to a several gentlemen (rejections) at least they had the courtesy to reply. Oh well I�m still here.
I do believe it�s up to them to make the first move.

This window viewing to see whose viewed you...why do they keep looking and looking (mind so I) probably want me to send an email, or perhaps they are sick of buying stamps...who knows� Besides if they really want to get to know you they will send a kiss initially and follow up with an email, providing you have responded accordingly.

And what�s with guys sending you kisses and then disappear off the radar screen (inactive profile).

Posted by: ladyinparadise2 at January 7, 2010 1:45 PM

Ha ha aloveoflife..its not the hair 'colour' thats the issue..its the hair! ;)
Thanks and goodluck for your 46th too!

Coolhandjase its tough sometimes to make the first move...or any move, I guess the fact you are on RSVP at least suggests you are making some sort of move. Hang in there.

Fact is women don't need to make the first move. They are the ones in demand, they are the ones wanting to see a bit of leadership/chivalry...or some guy make a total goose of himself....been there done that ;)
Seriously though we don't work with 'ideals' ..it'd be so much easier if we did.
We all want someone we are attracted to...whatever that means for us. But 'usually' they don't jump out of nowhere and say hey buddy how about it ive been waitin for ya! ;)

And perhaps part of the issue is some women aren't too sure about their role in all of this as well.
We are all to some degrees probably a little confused about the 'how to' and the etiquette of it all.
I know I am at times; some women are reserved and guarded, others you meet are very forward...some don't show their cards at all and totally mislead (or more to the point you just don't get where they are coming from;) you.

A lot of us here are perhaps sensitive souls..hence we 'talk' about it and wish the situation/s were different.
"Why can't it be this way..etc?"

But it is what it is. Internet dating in my experience can make you complacent and 'relaxed' about dating.
People become 'profiles'...you can lose touch with 'real' women..and run the risk of unintentionally offending someone.

I often look back to the (dare I say it) 'good old days'...before I was born that is!
Dance halls where some sort of structure was in place.
I remember at school in the 70's bus loads of girls coming to our school to dance with all the good Christian boys.
It was structured. You had to meet girls, you had to dance with them...they did too!

I don't think that model was all that bad. Shy guys and gals had no choice but to dance.

As ive said before, the examples/standards set by Hollywood are tough to follow re approach to dating.
It might be the movies but...expectations do evolve from that..
Some women expect you to be that smooth and that confident...ala the ultimate alpha male Daniel Craig (James Bond)
You've got great looking guys like him, Brad Pitt, George Clooney walking up to beautiful women and doing it 'easily'...

Those guys really do show a lot of us men up as uneasy, unsure of ourselves dorks i'm afraid... Oh yeah they dress well too, have nice cars, and endless amount of resources, smell great (well i guess they do judging by the cologne commercials;) and can talk about anything..or nothing for that matter...and approach a complete stanger on the spot ;)
Hmmm nice work if you can get it :)

Bet those guys arent on RSVP! ;)

Posted by: isidore at January 7, 2010 1:04 PM

I think the only thing Jen Hawkins needs is a new manager and very quickly !~!

She's tied herself to Myer for five years for 5 mill and tied herself to channel 7 in case they find a show for her.

I saw the magazine on the stands yesterday and btw if you buy a copy you get a free beach bag as well. The picture, in my humble opinion is bloody awful. The same gawky pose with the dopey faced look that she always seems to have these days.. Just another nearly 6 ft tall, huge shouldered, hand and feet freak of nature woman.

This girl is definitely stunningly beautiful and seems like she has a few brains and some personality and yet all her pictures are exactly the same. Whyever isn't she doing the Victorias Secret, International Modelling, incredible experience, incredible money thing like Miranda Kerr and the bevy of other successful models overseas.

By the time she is out of the Myers contract she will be too old for modelling overseas and her earnings will be much less unless channel 7 hits with the ratings. I think it's all a bit sad and very bad decision making or maybe this is to get her tossed out of the Myer contract, who knows. I just think she is entirely wasting precious time in her career to be doing this kind of rubbish. I think most of us would be slim if we were nearly 6 ft. tall.

Posted by: iaminperth at January 7, 2010 10:56 AM

Hi Isadore,
I don't thnk you quite understood what I was saying.
My thoughts were how would an un-airbrushed photo of the amazingly beautiful Jennifer Hawkins make the average Australian woman feel better about herself?
Would publishing an un-airbrushed photo of the hunky Hugh Jackman (wasn't a great fan until I saw him in "Australia". Ohhh lucky Deborah Lee-Furness!) make you feel better about yourself?
(And I am certainly not saying that you look at all "average" Isadore!)

My point was that our society's obsession with physical perfection borders on the hysterical at times.
It's seems it's all about "celebrity" these days (and what you look like) and I am not so sure that celebrities are the best role models for our children!

Based on history, I think those societies that began to focus mainly on physical perfection and physcial/sexual activity, like the Spartans and the Romans, tended to implode while gazing at their belly buttons (OMG is my "innie" turning into an "outie"?) while societies more focused on learning about life and science tended to develop and grow.

I KNOW you don't have to look like Jennifer Hawkins to be seen as attractive by men!
As a young woman while never remotely beautiful, I had quite a few boyfriends and I married in my mid-twenties.
While never overly promiscuous (my mother insisted that "good" girls didn't!) unfortunately, I was one of those women with a label saying "Walk all over me, I'll forgive you" so I tended to attract men who often treated me less than respectfully.
Of course, I didn't actually "see" a lot of these men's behaviour AS disrespectful, because I never knew what self-respect and self-esteem really meant until my late 20s-early 30s.

Even now with my rapidly advancing old-age and wrinkles, post 4 children/5 pregnancies body and being over-weight, I can still get an extra glance or two when dressed up or even while wearing jeans and a T-shirt from the odd man (obviously he isn't Hugh jackman either!) so believe me I do know.

Isadore your whole post and all about yourself is only about physical attributes (my 20 year old son is very much the same). Physical beauty is wonderful, but it doesn't last, it takes only one car accident, terible illness, or being burnt in a fire to lose it all.

I have to rush, another visit to Adelaide with my son today, so I need to hurry this up.
While physical perfection is admirable, it is not going to make our world a better place to live or make you happy.
If you focus on only your physical attributes, you are always going to be just a bit more muscle definition, another centimetre or so away from real happiness.
Have a good day everyone!

Posted by: amberlightrose at January 7, 2010 10:19 AM

Hey Nephew, you behaving yourself? I'll talk to your Mum.

Heard from Oney a short time ago, she'd just moved house but didn't have her fur baby yet, she's doing fine.

Good luck Isidore for your 45th, I'm about to turn 46 - ah forget the digits, that's why hair colouring was invented!

Perthy, managed sleep from 8pm to 2.30am so not too bad, hopefully I'll start getting sleepy again shortly!! No, didn't sleep on the plane, poor bub screamed all night coming home.

Posted by: aloveoflife at January 7, 2010 3:57 AM

What I think is that men make the first move but I guess you need time it right. From my experience I'm a real shy guy and making the first move is the move nerve-racking thing to do and most of the time I will keep second guessing in my head of should I or shouldn't I.

But I would like for a girl to make the first move..I don't see it as too aggressive, I see it as they want to make the move but seeing a girl make the first move are very rare.

In my opinion, girls rather see guys make the first move and either go on a date with him or just shoot them down (I'm saying this from experience)

I'll happily state that I'm not the prettiest guy in the world and my own shortcomings can bring my own downfall...but when I have seen girls take me for a ride, it's never pretty

50/50 seems like the right idea but in reality it never works out...

Just another thought from The Clown Prince

Posted by: coolhandjase at January 7, 2010 12:47 AM

Hey isidore

short legs sexier than long legs...?? have you been talking to Onemoreoption37.. she'll tell you the same thing..! just ask her.

calm down Oney..!! Where you been anyway..?

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at January 6, 2010 10:36 PM

Hi james i am 33 going on 34 in April and i can agree with alot of what your are saying however; here's the big problem that we face today. Woman want to be approached by men, that tells her he is playing the game and she then has an escape option choosing to take things further or not. On the other hand if you approach to soon you are doomed from the start, She feels stressed and backs out quickly. Can win either way... I can understand that you would like the dating to be split 50/50, but reality is 95% of men approach woman therefore the woman automatically thinks if you don't approach you are not interested so she moves on to the next bloke. If the woman showed more commitment from the start this would end the confusion of attraction... but no,, chicks like to think they have the upper hand all the time....... Untill you knock one back !!

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at January 6, 2010 10:26 PM

Hello Aunty sounds like you got a good taste of France and had a wonderful time..!!:))

good on ya!

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at January 6, 2010 9:55 PM

Hi Folks

Good points amber. I will take you to task though....you don't have to be a Jennifer Hawkins to be attractive to the opposite sex(or the same sex for that matter;)
I've seen pics of Cameron Diaz with so many zits and no make up...but...she does keep a tidy bod', and she obviously has 'personality'
Big nose? Barbara Streisand not sexy to some men? Lady Gaga has a pretty big nose! A lot of guys will tell you she is VERY sexy.
Short legs? Some of the cutest women around have short legs. Lets see;Liz Taylor 5'2, Natalie Wood 5 foot! Christina Aguilera 5'2...it goes on.
And asymmetrical faces?
Take a look at the incredible amount of men and women with the most amazing face/features....they are all over Hollywood/music industry.
Willem Dafoe, Ron Perlman, Steve Buscemi, Tilda Swinton, Cyndi Lauper even!
Its not about being Jen or Elle or Brad or George or Harrison...its about being the best...or at least a pretty good example of what you can be.
These people stand out. Not just because they are necessarily 'physically' attractive but because they are 'interesting'...and as a result of that are attractive in their own way.

I've 'mostly' found women who take an interest in themselves much more attractive than some women who would be considered more attractive/beautiful. But thats just me....and (some of) what I value in a person.
And its not age specific either. Most of the women i find incredibly attractive are not around Jennifer Hawkins age...they are around my vintage and older of course.

Theres something incredibly appealing about a woman who ages and gives a damn about herself. Elle imo should be an inspiration....not cos shes tall and naturally gorgeous...but because shes 46 and still gives a shi....no old ladies cardies for her ;)
Sophia Loren at what 70? Jane Seymour at close to 60? Joanna Lumley over 60? All attractive women. Women with sex appeal and purpose. Farrah Fawcett posing for Playboy at twice Jen Hawkins age...thats inspiration.
Sure some have had major work done i'm sure, but I think you will find they don't make excuses...they look for opportunities to be the best they can be....with or without the additional work done on them.

Thing is, who are the people we look to for inspiration in our own lives? The people that show us on some level that we can aspire to some of their qualities and example?
If you are overweight who is an example of a similar age who has turned it all around?
Who had a major accident and overcame adversity?
These are out teachers...if we choose that.

Couch potatoes and excuse mongers are not imo.

I always look 'out there' for role models, people redefining what 'age' is or what life is.
Whovever it is.

I see no value in low self esteem or denigrating yourself. It serves no purpose in life.
Personally its about me setting myself goals each year. I'm 45 shortly. I embrace that. Can't, and wouldnt want to compete with the great looking younger guys around, but I set my own standards for myself.
I expect me to be in good shape. I wouldnt accept anything else. Its my lifestyle and expectation. And can I get 25 again? No! But I can improve myself, maintain myself on many levels.
The wrinkles appear, the hair gets greyer..and thinner ;)...but I can always maintain a standard 'for me'...and I always look to improve.
So naturally I look for that in a partner....on some levels at least.
I agree with you 100% amber that you will see more women making an effort around town than men. Thats obvious ;)

I still vividly recall a dating night at a local pub and turned up with a girl friend. I actually felt sorry for a lot of the women there. They were dressed fantastically, made so much effort to look good...the majority of the guys looked pretty ordinary...most like lost lambs looking for Mum to dress them ;)
I said to my friend at the time that they didnt have too much to choose from.

Hey James I know what you mean particularly re the first example. Stay well clear ha ha!. They are often high maintenance and looking for upgrades mate ;)
Ideals are just that...ideals. But..at the end of the day you have to be with someone you 'really' want to be with and are into.
Anyone else is just not fair to them or yourself...its half hearted imo. It is for me at least.

Posted by: isidore at January 6, 2010 9:10 PM

Sounds amazing, Alove!
So glad you had such a great time, lucky you. And no blizzards.

I look forward to hearing even more as you re-remember those "little things" that happen in the course of your journey.
(glad to hear the French aren't rude; maybe they just still have a "thing" about the English after several hundred years!)

I have always thought Paris would be wonderful.

Posted by: amberlightrose at January 6, 2010 6:43 PM

Hi James,
Look I am certainly guilty of generalising at times, (about men) believe me! :)
But I think you are definitely strereotyping women if you honestly think there are only two kinds.
Maybe you have only had relationships with those kind of women James, you sure seem pretty jaded for one so young!

I would suggest a woman who likes to chew guys up and spit them out, is rather less a feminist and a lot more of a "princess" in her way of thinking!
Basically she thinks that men are only there to meet her needs.

When it comes to women with low self-esteem, it seems that rather than just being "friendly" they are absolute doormats when it comes to men.
The sign on their forhead literally says "Walk all over me; I'll forgive you"

You are right James, neither woman is very good for a man!

The "princess" will walk all over him, and the doormat will teach him how not to respect women, so he won't even remember (or maybe he never learnt) how to treat a great woman with high self-esteem and self-respect when he meets her!

You are certainly entitled to your opinion James, as we all are.
But don't assume that those great Gen X women out there, can't pick your "victim" mentality within three minutes of meeting you and so avoid you like the plague!

Your profile says you are only recently out of a relationship, your post says two years.
Only you know which one is correct, but I do suggest you have a good think about why only those two kinds of women have been attracted to you in the past.
What do you need to do/change to get those great girls out there with good looks and high self-esteem to look twice at you?

You are so right about the doing what you've always done will result in more of the same, though.

Good luck, you sound like you need it!

Posted by: amberlightrose at January 6, 2010 5:58 PM

Jetlag, just drink loads of water, eat a couple of bananas for potassium, get a bit of sleep and away you go again.

Mostly caused by sitting for long periods of time and dehydration caused by air conditioning, or in my case, alcohol and air conditioning.

And maybe you just didn't sleep on the plane, some people don't for some reason or other but sitting for so long is a pain in the butt. Next time, get up three or four times and wander around on the plane. Don't worry about the snarly faces as you trot by, they'll get over it.

Posted by: iaminperth at January 6, 2010 5:03 PM

Hi James and welcome to the blogs, a lovely bunch of people, great minds, great debates.

I'm a tad confused, you say here that you've been single for 2 years however your profile says newly single, you quote that gen x belong in two genres but at the end of your blog you don't want either of these genres??? What are you really looking for and do these women belong in just two genres or have you been hurt, I suspect you have had your heart broken, that's just the sensitive piscean in me coming out.

Maybe it's not, maybe it's the jetlag?!? Alove.

Posted by: aloveoflife at January 6, 2010 4:55 PM

Hey Alove, I am so glad you had a good time. Provence, wow !!! dog poop in Europe and especially NY is usually around but most people are pretty good. Little yellow baggies are the go. We have them here, mine has her own little pouch to carry her own but she doesn't usually need it.

Maybe try Emerites when you fly again and you could stop at Dubai for a culture shock on the way there, that's great fun but sooooooo different and it makes France look even better.

I have a Nintendo DC3 player and my daughter has purchased a Spanish language programme for hers and I have a French language programme for mine. I am going to brush up and see how I go. They are fabulous programmes you can do at home and a lot of fun.

Glad you enjoyed yourself and came back safe. Have you seen the bicycling holiday in Italy for foodies. I am told it's really good and most of it downhill.

Posted by: iaminperth at January 6, 2010 4:34 PM

Oh Amber, it was wonderful, the people are just lovely, treat them as you expect to be treated and they've got a big smile on their dial.

The food - well I don't think I would ever buy a croissant from here again unless baked by a French cook!! Wonderful wine (no headaches.....), french onion soup - yum (soupe de l'onion) with crusty bread and cheese cooked on top of it - I could live on it.

The architecture is just so beautiful, very few modern buildings, ornate lights on all the bridges, apartment blocks that look amazing, the xmas lights, you just have to go, and take me with you!!!! No blizzards in Paris, freezing cold and snow showers on New Year's Day but only very light flakes that melted on you when they touched your face or coat.

I do however need some tips on jetlag - anyone have any ideas, not eating, can't sleep but very tired. Just had a pedicure and tomorrow is facial and hair pampering time. Oh, I've already been back to the travel agent.......... Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at January 6, 2010 4:14 PM

Hi guys, my name is James and have been single for two years now. My thoughts on this matter is no I don't think men need to or should not make the first move. I believe dating, relationships needs to be approached 50/50. If you always done what you've always done you will only get what you have always had....put yourself out of your comfort zone, take a punt...You will only benefit yourself in the long run...My choice to be single for this long is not due to my own doing.I think generation X single women are either one of two types of genre. One genre is the feminist. She believes in stereotyping her future partner. Her expectations are exceedingly high. She does not believe in adaptability. If the boxes are not ticked then the man is scratched.This type of woman thrives on attention, has little respect for men, enjoys attracting the interest of men, capturing their attention then rejecting them. This only serves to boost their ego..Trust me I have thought a lot about this and honestly it fustrates me because this woman is only going to spend years single to eventually lower her expectations when desperate and choose someone that is neither compatable or suitable resulting eventually in seperation. The other genre as I put it. Has no boundaries. This woman is usually a woman with no physical appearance. Does not maintain or pamper herself, overweight and friendly. She doesn't see that a man needs to be physically attracted to a woman. She has a low self esteem and as a direct result displays herself as a woman that is kind hearted within in the hope that a man will be interested. Perhaps I am being delusional about this but I think the good ones are taken around the 25 to 35 year old mark. This woman does not need or feel that it is necessary to be the dominator of a man or submissive for that matter but a 50/50 commitment to the relationship. People change. Their habits change. I think the single life I have experienced is a joke. I appreciate that people have their own opinions. This is mine... I will continue to search for my ideal lady and will not be wasting my time on the first genre above or the second for that matter...If your one of these give it some thought...Cheers

Posted by: verticalaussie at January 6, 2010 11:32 AM

Welome back Alove.
Thought about you when I heard of the blizzards in Europe!
Am looking forward to any observations you made of our fellow humans and their culture. And the food. And the sights. And....

Posted by: amberlightrose at January 6, 2010 1:58 AM

Good points Perth!
It isn't cheap to look exceptional for your age if you are a woman.
Botox, hair colour, make-up, skin cream, just to name a few.

And yes I was being bitchy about the blokes!
I had had a busy day in Adelaide and suddenly it all seemed so bloody funny and a complete waste of time!

I agree Isadore,
It is entirely unfair to criticise Jennifer Hawkins just because she is a beautiful woman.
However, it is also ridiculous to suggest that such an extremely beautiful woman is representative of the "average" woman in Australia (or the rest of the world for that matter).
The fact that apparently Jennifer Hawkins' photo is not airbrushed or photoshopped, proves what an incredibly beautiful looking woman she really is.
However, she epitomises today's "ideal" or "perfect" woman, far too beautiful to be considered "average" looking in any way!

The truth is though that it is because she isn't average, that makes Jennifer Hawkins the brand name she is.
No company would be interested in paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for an ordinary or even "average" very attractive woman to flog their products.
In the same way that extremely sexy men like George Clooney (even my 21 year old thinks he is hot!) or Daniel Craig are certainly not representative of your "average" man.

If they were, wouldn't the world be just a little "ho hum"? And there wouldn't be much of market for celebrity magazines!

Jennifer Hawkins IS beautiful, that's why she won the Miss Universe title!
No amount of exercise, healthy eating or even plastic surgery (if you can afford it) will turn an average attractive woman into an Elle Mc Pherson, Halle Berry (if you are African-American) or a Jennifer Hawkins.

The same goes for the average man. No amount of gym work, steroids or even plastic surgery can turn your average white guy into Brad Pitt or your average 50 + year old into Harrison Ford or Sean Connery.
To suggest otherwise is ludicrous.

While some people make be "picking" on Jennifer Hawkins, surely her photograph just proves how exceptional she really is?
No one doubts she probably has to work hard to keep looking this way, but the fact she already had a beautiful face, long legs, etc. to start with.
A pretty damn good "blank canvas", wouldn't you say?

Isadore, if you were a woman who was born with a genetic tendency to eczema or psoriasis, you also have small eyes, a large nose, an asymmetrical face and short legs; how is Jennifer Hawkins' un-airbrushed photo going to make you feel better about yourself?

However, I was serious about the "looking after herself" bit!
I have spent several days in Adelaide in the last couple of weeks. And walked around Melbourne a couple of months ago.
Just look around your average largish city and it appears that with the exception of obvious city-based workers, more women of all ages make an effort with their appearance, than men do.

Posted by: amberlightrose at January 6, 2010 1:54 AM

Do we still expect men to make the first move?

I think this depends on the situation. If you're in a conversation with someone you are attracted to, talking about a band you both love, it would be fine for either of you to invite the other to a future gig.

I've invited lots of people, male and female to accompany me to plays, films, concerts etc

I think it's also good to invite a 'potential' to a social occasion with others, as that way you will get to see how they relate to your friends.

On rsvp I like to make the first move, (sending the kiss) as that way I GET TO CHOOSE! I get lots of rejections; but I'm still alive, not depressed and still trying!
Regards
Sososophy

Posted by: sososophy at January 5, 2010 11:48 PM

Hey Perth, I agree France is so interesting, they enjoy their days which are in no way routine, they start late and finish late. Mealtimes are an event, conversation is noisy and fabulous. If we went back to a restaurant we were greeted like long lost relatives and given a free drink, hand shakes, kisses on the cheeks. Such lovely vibrant people.

I'm planning on going to Provence and the Riviera in spring/summer 2011, I'd also love to do a foodies walking tour.

I got told by a lot of people to take the Metro to get around, pft! I prefer to see where I'm going, not underground. I also was told by a lot of people that there is dog poop everywhere, well the street cleaners have high powered machines that spray hot water over the pavements early morning, to get rid of muck and ice (if any snow of course). But who wants to walk around such a beautiful place watching your feet, look up and see the beautiful architecture, so you may step in a poop, then you simply walk thru a puddle (wear boots in winter!), some people simply miss what is around them because they are watching too hard where they are walking. We also found that most dog walkers, and there are plenty, carried plastic bags with them to clean up after their pets. We also didn't find the French rude, we tried to converse with them with a few French words which they appreciated, it broke the ice and was great fun.

We walked everywhere, we stayed on the Left Bank, 10 mins from the Eiffel Tower so were able to walk to the Louvre, Paris Opera, Champs Elysees etc. We did however catch a taxi to Montmarte which was exquisite, Sacre Coeur is magnificent. I guess this is why I didn't put on weight, it was full on from when we arrived, although not having a decent stop over coming or going and no sleep on the plane, a 2 hour power nap was in order when we arrived. This is probably why we have such bad jetlag. Worth every minute and I can't wait to go back.

I had to laugh about your post about women looking after themselves. As I didn't spend a lot of money over there I decided to treat myself to a bit of pampering this week as I'm still off work until next week, so hair, facial, thai massage on Thursday. Pure bliss. I agree too, I'm seeing so many male profiles - average, a bit overweight, their photos a tad scary and they're looking for slim or athletic - come on guys!! Mind you I'm sure they are seeing some of the same, I just don't often look at a female profile, only to see the person behind the blog. Everyone lift your game, look after yourself, after all you are marketing yourself here on RSVP, if you look after yourself and like yourself then I'm sure in time you'll attract someone special who also likes you.

Amber, I am laughing so hard at your post, don't slap yourself but get yourself a nice glass of vino, I'm indulging at the moment in a touch of Baileys on ice. Yumm.

Just some thoughts from a rambling jetlagged gal! Alove.

Posted by: aloveoflife at January 5, 2010 11:45 PM

Yeah, I know what you mean: Sedentary and lazy people and that work is what counts. I agree. What is it with overweight people out jogging?
Wouldn't you think that if you were worried about your weight and how you looked that you might have thought about that before it was too late, might have thought about it before you put that thirteenth ice-cream in your mouth or that fiftieth chocolate after dinner. Give me a break!

Posted by: troublecometh at January 5, 2010 10:11 PM

Hey isidore

You take Elle...! I'll have Jen..!!

That's sorted..:)

Posted by: feelgood76 at January 5, 2010 9:32 PM

Bienvenue Home Alove xoxo
So glad to read you had a fantastic time and are home safe.
Ali
:-)

Posted by: ali1974 at January 5, 2010 7:36 PM

Hi Folks

Bravo iaminperth!!!

Its great to see someone telling it how it is. As a male I often wonder how women can tolerate some of the guys getting about, how out of condition they are, how unclean, etc..and some of these guys are the harshest critics on women.
Go figure.

Same goes for some older women; hairy faces, dressing in their mums old gear, out of condition and generally not interested in 'life' or participating in anything that might resemble exercise...and wonder why guys are not interested in them!

I am amazed at the amount of flack Jen Hawkins is getting at the moment re her recent nude shoot without photoshop. Its disgraceful and indicative of have nots having a go at a vibrant young woman who is having a go.
These critics? Well surprise surprise, they have 'let themselves go'...oh yeah they will say they have had kids, they are busy, they are not 18 anymore...blah blah blah.

These people are making excuses for their own conditions and lifestyles by picking on someone who gives a shi.. about the way she looks and feels.
What shes 26 you say?
Well lets get Elle Macpherson at 46 to do one huh?
Let me tell you she'd look better!

There are a lot of sedentary, lazy, excuse finding people out there doing exactly the same sort of thing that they say the photoshoppers are doing.....

They themselves are pushing thats its acceptable and indeed 'normal' to be overweight and are envious of people who do take the time and make the effort to live 'healthily'

There are extremes at both ends of the argument at the moment.

Posted by: isidore at January 5, 2010 1:19 PM

I'm new to this blog and have in the past found the commentary shallow and boring but I have enjoyed the last 6 or 7 I have just read ... thank you.

Re: "too many books and not enough doing" .. while I believe that can be true and is something I think I must watch, I have found the books and workshops have really helped me try to change. Given that to change from our 'old self' is so very hard and given that our old habits are so deeply embedded I find that being constantly reminded about what I need to do to really change, helps chip away at the 'old self' ... as longs as I am open to see my behaviour! ... besides the lesson I heard or read five years ago if heard again today has new and deeper more relevent meaning. eg I have read Passionate Marriage twice ... around divorce time and 7 years later ... and how interesting was the difference in the learning second time around (... both times v valuable btw).
Re " Is it ( relationship) really worth the trouble" ... or "Intimacy v Solitude". I remember in an assignment I had to do about our need for 'closeness' and 'distance' in relationships, one wise person wrote:

"We need someone until we don't" !

.....mmm {;-0

...ta I'll be back jm

Posted by: aroadlesstraveller at January 5, 2010 9:20 AM

I agree Amber, totally agree with you re books. I just question how many books does it take and when do you become so dependent on them that you don't think for yourself.

There are wonderful books out there and I am sure they all have something to offer but surely motivation is the one things that achieves results.

I don't think anything in life is achievable without work. It's a four letter word, the ultimate four letter word. It's work and sometimes it's really hard and sometimes you have to walk away but if you know you have put in the work and whether it worked out okay or not you can still feel good because you tried. What more can you ask for in a person.

Posted by: iaminperth at January 4, 2010 11:27 PM

Hey Alove, our international traveller is back. I am so glad you had a great holiday, France is a fascinating place. Try some of the countryside next time you go as well.

We were wondering about the snow as the news here said it was so bad and all the trains had stopped so we knew you must have seen some.

I think that most times overseas if you are active you don't put on weight. It's only people who sit all the time that do and it's all fun anyway. How could you not eat when visiting other countries, that's one of the best things to sample all the local cuisine.

Posted by: iaminperth at January 4, 2010 11:24 PM

P.S. A woman who looks after herself is one who keeps her skin/hair/nails/figure all extremely well.

So, facials, skincare, hairdressing appointments, gym workouts are all on the agenda.

Mix that with paying the rent, purchasing the food, looking after the kids, clothing yourself in the manner you are about to become used to and then hand him the bill or ask him when he would like to pay it.

Dopey drips usually with bellies hanging over their pants and that horrible, horrible look hair hanging from the nose. Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuukkkkkkkkkkk!!!!! I don't care how old I get, I hate it.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and what about that mid aged or old man smell. I just don't get it....it's not a dirty smell, it's sort of an old smell, not fresh, sort of mouldy. Whatever do they do ? Is it clothes left on the line too long, or not washed enough, yuk not nice. How can anyone be attracted to someone who pongs.

Posted by: iaminperth at January 4, 2010 11:18 PM

I remember reading a book once and it ended with 'be careful that what you are looking for hasn't been under your nose the whole time'. I didn't take that to mean a person I took that to be a lifestyle.

The hump and dump guys floating around at the moment are a joke. Usually losers who can't get their lives together and can't string a sentence together without alcohol. Some women are just the same, stuff themselves with alcohol, pick up a guy and think he loves them. The reality is they probably can't even remember the name.

Be yourself, if you don't want to sit on riverbanks, then don't. If you don't want to ride motorbikes, don't. If you don't want to do any of those things don't do them. Do things you like to do and mix with people who you like to mix with.

I have a magic new slr camera so now I need to do a camera course. I am looking forward to that and I am looking forward to learning something new. I feel the need to keep learning new things now and the next thing is Spanish.

I have decided to move and busy making the garden look spectacular and have a bit of stuff to do inside the house. I am also looking at other houses, so it's all exciting.

My kittens are hilarious and will go back looking for homes, fat, healthy, very well socialised and quite used to having a dog push them around. Digging a hole, albeit small in the front garden was a major chore at times. I was planting an edging and each time I dug a hole, a couple of kittens jumped in the hole, a couple would poo in it and the others would just look astonished. That was apart from the couple who thought they would climb up my back and sit on my shoulders to view the scenery. I look like I have had a date with a vampire at the moment and sleeping on my stomach ! They all slept just about all day though as it is 38 deg. here at the moment and not particularly kitten weather. I'm not looking forward to taking them back but they will be outgoing little treasures so hopefully nice people will adopt them.

Posted by: iaminperth at January 4, 2010 11:11 PM

Now I feel really bad!
A quick 5 minute man search and not a single 4WD camper a;omg the riverbank among them!
That's what spouting generalisations do for you :)

However, there are lots of older men who are apparently so scarily fit, active and young for their age, they need a 10 years + younger woman to (?) keep up with them.
And what exactly is a "woman who looks after herself"?

Sorry guys, but my observation out in the real world is that more women "look after themselves" (and everyone else!) than men do :)

(Slap! slap! I think perhaps I should have that glass of wine after all!)

Posted by: amberlightrose at January 4, 2010 9:19 PM

I do know what you mean Perth though, about this wondering if we should be even looking for a partner, issue.

Like you I lead a fairly busy life, (yours does sound a lot more busy than mine though) but it seems that most men around our age are kind of looking at 'slowing down'.

Some are keen to camp and do the 4WD or motorbike thing (not really my great love)and they are looking for someone who can just suddenly head off into the wilderness and spend hours sitting on the riverbank with them.
Might be fun for a few days, but not really my kind of permanent lifestyle choice.

Maybe once I am in my mid-to-late 60s? But I am not ready for that sort of life-style YET!
Except maybe on a long weekend when it's not too hot ot too cold......

Most don't want someone with youngish children who they need to be responsible for. It seems they want someone to be there solely for them.
Ready to take off into the sunset whenever they feel like it. Sitting on the riverbank, washing up the dishes after he has cooked the barbie?
No responsibilities. No worries.
(For them, I expect!)

I often wonder if such men were ever hands-on dads?
Or did they mostly leave it up to their wives and kind of resent the time the wife spent with the children?
Which is why they are now single?

I guess I want someone who is still busy with his own life.
Who can spend time with his mates doing those things I'm not keen on (not think that that means "screwing around" wih the gorgeous-looking V8 Supercar girl if he gets his chance, time!) and have his own interests and not make (or even try to make me) feel solely responsible for HIS happiness.

Who is secure enough to realise (and not resent the fact) that I have responsibilities that will probably mean I can't just jump up and take off on a spontaneous trip, that I might actually need to plan ahead.
Who appreciates and respects and is not the least bit jealous, (in fact he LIKES it!) that I also have a life (even if it may seem a bit 'ho-hum' to him) and that often my children WILL need to come first. (As will his, if he cares enough about them)

Who sees me as a partner, not a future nursemaid for his old age.
Or a counsellor to 'motivate' him or solve all his insecurites and past life resentments.
Someone who I can have fun with, laugh with, care for, feel sexy with.

Who appreciates my humour and respects my values as I would his.
Who appreciates that sometimes I need some "alone" time which doesn't mean I don't love him or care about him! (The same with him, of course)

I guess I am looking for a "grown up" man who can actually keep his word, not expect "tit-for-tat" love (you know, the I've done this for you - now you have to do that for me kind. Sometimes one person gives that little bit more simply because they really want/need to when the other person needs support) and who really loves me enough to want me to be happy just because he loves seeing me happy.
I would feel the same for him.

Needle in a haystack?
Or am I looking for the impossible dream/fantasy /non-existent bloke?
(Or the one who is still with his wife because she appreciates just how lucky she really is!)

Who knows?
I'm with you Perth.
I think I'll just live my life for a while longer the way I want to and when I'm 68, I might JUST be ready for that permanent shady riverbank!
(Sadly the men our age after years of inactivity sitting on a riverbank, will then all be in nursing homes; their once 38 year old dream girl said it wasn't in her plans to be a nurse/carer at age 55!)

Sorry everyone (especially the men; I don't mean to be a b*tch) just off on a very delusional tangent!
(without even one glass of wine; must be the hot weather!)

Posted by: amberlightrose at January 4, 2010 8:48 PM

Hi Perth,
Good on you. I think we all get like that sometimes. You feel really hot and unpleasant, but you need to do it anyway. Because you just know it needs to be done.
I bet you felt tired but had a real sense of achievement.
And unlike less-than-exciting housework, the garden still usually looks just as good the next day!

I had a chuckle with your clothes dryer metaphor though.
But I do disagree slightly.
I think if people really want to do things differently (and not do the same old, same old while hoping for a different result!) then if it takes a book to help them understand, at least they are making an effort to change and not just doing the "clothes dryer" thing.

Not everyone has had the opportunity to have a life mentor in their younger years, many of us had awful examples in our youth of how to live our lives.

For example, I certainly did not want to be for my children, the type of parent I had.
I saw so many of the people who had children around the same time as I did who were (to me) doing similar to my parents; yelling screaming, hitting while not being very effective at all.
I wanted to have a good relationship with my children, not have them simply obey me while disliking me and fearing me.
I had no good parenting mentors, so how could I learn to do things differently?
So I sought out books, videos, tapes on child development and effective discipline minus the physical or verbal abuse, parenting classes; anything that could give me ideas and understanding.

While certainly not being the "perfect" parent I wanted to be, I knew I was doing the best I could for my children.
(Well at this stage none of them have turned out to be axe murderers anyway!)
The three older ones all have jobs and while my 'middle' child does have issues with money (he has what you would call a "champagne taste" for women and lifestyle, but not the "champagne income" he'd like to have!) he hasn't (hopefully) done anything too bad yet.

I could not have changed my parenting style without actively searching for alternative ways of doing things. Believe me, "just knowing" what was the right thing to do, was never going to be part of my life's toolbox!

I always wanted to be different from my parents from my earliest years, by the time I was in my late 20's early 30s, I was out there learning how I COULD be different.
But not everyone is so fortunate. My parents had lives that were SO screwed up, I just KNEW they weren't highly functioning people!

However, not everyone "gets it" until they are often much older.
As in the saying "if it ain't broke don't fix it", I think there are many people who are so unaware of their toxic impact on the ones they love, they don't even understand they have any problems until their whole life falls apart.
Maybe their wife/husband (and children) just suddenly "walk" and they have no idea why.

Do they mope around being sad, tragic "victims" or do they start to change themselves and get their life back on track?
I think we all know people whose attitude is "my ex thinks I need counselling but I'm okay" (it's just the rest of the world) when it's pretty obvious that it couldn't be further from the truth!
If buying and actually bothering to read a self-help book sets them on a happier and healthier path in life, then what is there to criticise? Especially if they then try to actively implement that change into their life?

Yes some people may take until their 50s or 60s to 'get it' but as the old saying goes "it's better late than never" for themselves AND for their friends and family.

However, I do strongly agree with you that most of the "new" stuff is actually just common sense life skills re-worked and rehashed into a "new" idea.

But if we all had had those great mentors in our early lives, with honest advice such as "you can't 'fix' someone, they have to fix themselves" and "if he/she treats you disrespectfully then he/she doesn't actually love you" (BEFORE we get married!); none of us would ever need those "new-age" books (or most probably RSVP) in the first place!

(Phew, I think I've probably broken ALL records for a long drawn-out post!)

Posted by: amberlightrose at January 4, 2010 6:28 PM

Hi Team, Happy New Year to you all, I trust you had a great xmas, not too many drinkies!!

Paris was incredible, got in at 1am this morning, couldn't sleep so had a couple of chilled whites and caught up on all the blogging goss - gee you guys have been busy! Slept from 3am to 12.45pm, hungry but the fridge is empty!

It had snowed before we got there, nothing to write home about, just a few little piles here and there but on New Years Day we were standing near the Eiffel Tower and it started, nice light flakes at first then hard bits that stung your face, good fun but freezing! I had the best time and cannot wait to go back, this time Provence and the French Riviera - of course after my US jaunt later this year. Everything was prepaid except the attractions so was pretty inexpensive, credit card didn't get used (sorry gals let you down with the shopping), came home with most of my spending money, queues at the shops were terrible, only managed to fight my way into Louis Vuitton and escape with my goodies held high. Seriously though this is a beautiful place but bitterly cold at xmas, -2 the day we arrived which was a shock. Paris Opera took my breath away as did the Louvre, Mona Lisa is such a sad little painting. Saw all the major attractions, and some, it was everything I expected and more. The best bit was the side streets, exploring and finding a great little restaurant, have hundreds of photos to go thru, did download one to my profile of the Eiffel Tower which I took I think on Xmas Eve on my mobile and sent to our lovely Virgo who's gone West again. Had to miss NYE under the Tower, the riot police were out in force, plus the soldiers with their big guns, it was a bit crazy but I was able to see the Tower from my hotel room, fell asleep but woke at 12.01am and managed to see the NYE light show, next morning was disappointing with all the broken bottles etc. Xmas day on the Champs Elysees, so beautiful with all their xmas lights. I guess you get the picture that it was marvellous.

Perthy, in anticipation of the 6kg's you said I'd put on I went on a crash diet a few weeks before and lost 4kg's, got home and I've actually lost more weight, must have been all the walking as I didn't miss out on a single croissant or french dinner or wine, what a guts!

Sorry for rambling but I knew a few of you wanted to know how the trip to Paris went, cattle/kick/aliane/mysticmyth (new name), just skip this one! Still don't know how you could do it so cheap.

Well guys, got to find some food and then back for some more zzz's. Au Revoir for now, merci! Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at January 4, 2010 3:06 PM

I think books are great. I think Oprah is great. Amazing woman to achieve what she has and with all the money and power and all the books, psychologists, psychiatrists etc., etc., she has never been able to get a handle on her weight.

Dr. Phil, well ? I think he is a bit of a fraud myself. For one thing he is an unregistered psychologist and the Dr. tag is just for the television. I find him a bit of a repetitious bore at times, but he is certainly commercial and works hard at what he does. His whole family is in on the act and he is quite a showman so good on him.

The eight kittens are asleep in a huge mound of fur and feet after their little trip to the vet. I need to visit the supermarket and get some more eggs ! Oh, and diet Coke. We made some lamb kebabs the other night and the marinade was seeded mustard, mint jelly and light soy. We had red capsicum, cherry toms, red onion and mushroom threaded as well. Such an easy meal and absolutely delicious.

Posted by: iaminperth at January 4, 2010 12:44 PM

Iaminperth

Hey with 10 hours in the garden you won't have time to look for a partner ;)
I love the garden. Been out in the sun this morning.... on holidays.

In response to your comments re books I might add that the book is just the 'form' or 'thing'...with a message attached..or 'awareness' attached. Much like posting here, perusing the threads, talking to friends etc etc.

They are all only 'part' of the equation imo.

You can read all the books, go to any number of seminars, watch Dr Phil Oprah and the usual crew, but in the end..

What do you do with that?

After all 'information' is only that...it needs to be 'applied'. That takes effort committment and discipline.
You have to 'really' want it.

Many of us want a magic pill, so we buy 'the book' that will make it all better......but we rarely apply the information. We dont put it into action.

I think we need to make 'connections' in life. Yes we can over analyse and get too mechanical. I agree with that.

Books have their place. Personally I like the fact that there are people out there still looking for answers...sure they might be reading the 50th book on how to without actually 'how tooing' ;), but they are on some level at least 'looking'....

I take your point though. Thing is a lot of us don't have a clue!
Its why these book sellers and authors are making a mint.

Theres an old footy adage attributed to an old Hawthorn Coach.

"Dont think just do!"

I think as single people who are most likely independent and reasonably comfortable with living alone, you can get blase about relationships and question why you might need them. I do.
"Is it worth the hassle?"
Sometimes it just isn't imo. It has to feel right for me.
Hence my profile looking for 'friends'

But then im mid 40's and not in my twenties anymore.....

Now back to that book I was reading ;)

Posted by: isidore at January 4, 2010 10:37 AM

It's about 10 o'clock here in Perth and I have just cooked my second omelette and it was absolutely delicious. I have worked in my front garden for about 10 hours straight today in 40 deg. heat. It was hot and at one stage I really couldn't see too much. I am thinking of selling and the font garden needed some attention.

I decided to change it around a little to make it easier to look aftr and it looks splendid. My white standards are amazing at this time of year framing the driveway but instead of having more roses I decided on quite a few more drought resistant plants.

So, I am now showered, covered in moisturiser, hair washed and blow dried, two omelettes, {easily could have had 1-l/2} and three glasses of wonderful cold WA white wine.

My foster kittens who have been 'helping' most of the day have collapsed in a heap and my big puppy is asleep under the air conditioning. Daughter is home and safe and not terribly happy I have eaten all the eggs, but she knows she will survive. I am now clean, moistured, fingernails are entirely stuffed up but they will grow and ready to go to sleep.

Tomorrow is an 'easy' day for me. Kittens need to go to be vacicnated. That entails putting them all in a huge travel case and driving to the facility. That's not hard at all, hope. However, seeing I have never done it before, maybe I am the eternal optomist.

I guess what I am trying to work out is how does someone else fit into this organised chaos which is our life.

I really am happiest when I am working on something. Whether it be creating something or just getting down and dirty in the backyard/front yard/whoevers yard/whatever.

I suppose my question is, Do we really need a partner in life and is the 'partner' bit really a myth that is unattainable.

I am past my child breeding phase and there is nothing a man can do that I can't do for myself.

Don't get me wrong, all of the guys, or nearly all anyway, have been really nice people. Unfortunately, listening to past relationships or how they have read some kind of book to improve themselves is simply not my thing. I mean, if you get to this age and you still have to read books to find out who you are, you have a problem right there.

I don't choose to take on someone elses insecurities or problems and I don't need to talk and dissect every small interaction. I don't need to know what Dr. Phil thinks of things or the latest self help book.

I admire all these people who write books, they make a whole heap of money and good on them. Is it for me, no. Do I buy them No.

So back to trhe question. When you get to my age with so much energy, and start working out what you are going to do with the rest of it, do you work it out singularly and think 'Well maybe I will meet someone along the way'. Or to you just get realistic and think it's a needle in a haytstack.

For me retiring isn't dying. It isn't the time to sit on your butt in front of a television and do nothing. It is a time to do all the things you couldn't do when you had children at home.

I now have a housesitter to look after the place when I am not here. She's brilliant, only 19 and knows all the animals and gardens so well.

I am thinking with so much on offer today and so many things to do, is it realistic to look for someone to share these things. Or is it preferable to just get amongst it and do you own things without any hassles.

What do others think. Is it all too hard ? Is it much easier to just do your own thing ? And why do people have to debate and talk over every little thing on and on.

"I think you are drunk" "I thought we were supposed to support each other" "I thought we organised because you are driving you wouldn't be drunk", "but you are supposed to be supportive' "and you are not supposed to be drunk" and so the clothes dryer goes on and on and on around and around and around. Much easier to have just called a cab I think.

Posted by: iaminperth at January 4, 2010 1:52 AM

Hi Folks

As a guy in his mid 40's who doesnt frequent..let alone hardly ever go 'out' to 'pick up', I find it challenging to meet/find eligible women...
Sure, theres effort you need to put in, and by my own admission I am not 'out there' looking so to speak.
So I state that upfront, knowing I could be making much more of an effort.
I do have RSVP stamps though ! ;)

I'm not a dork (debatable), not overly cool (thats debatable too;), not great looking (fair call)...but i guess 'good' looking (stretching it but just make the grade)..on a good day that is ;) and I guess, have a strong sense of myself and who i'm looking for (even though i'm not 'looking' as such;)

Some men, of which I am one, don't want to 'play the game'...the pick up game that is.
its why some of us do RSVP I suppose....and thats another game entirely! ;)

amberlightrose you make some pertinent points. Women who are too accessible or too forward are generally not taken as seriously by 'most' men.
orkneymist you are spot on, often the 'nice guys' do tend to stand back...yes its because of fear of rejection, thats natural, its also because those women are not always the ones you want...or they 'appear' to 'hunt' in packs and shun any attempts to chat, or to get to the one you want to chat to.

And yes, that guy chatting you up is probably working on the numbers game.
He's not so much interested in 'you' as he is in getting 'another' notch on his belt.
Thats fine as thats 'his choice', but 'nice guys' do get a little tired of hearing the 'poor me' stories with some women in regards to how they were treated poorly by guys like that.
They put themselves in that situation. They 'enable' those guys to 'go to work' so to speak.

Having been on the receiving end of ; "You are too nice for me.." you can become a little desensitized to the 'poor me' women who complain about 'those guys' who played them.

Some of us men simply do not want to play 'those games'
Why?
Well theres a myriad of reasons I suppose.
For me its because I see women as equals (don't laugh I honestly believe this isnt all that common with both sexes..someone wants to be dominated or supported or 'looked after and protected..)...I just don't want to be 'dad' (I think a lot of women are looking for him as much as they would deny it), or some fierce protector or alpha male puffing his chest out.
My point is I am looking for an 'equal'...not some starry eyed gal looking for Prince Charming to tell her what she wants to hear.
Sure I can, and am romantic and not short of 'genuine' love and appreciation of my woman, but sheesh, its a tough gig sometimes trying to 'get to' some of these women.

They say we (as in the nice guys) are either taken or gay? (Some probably choose gay out of frustration ha ha!)
What situations do 'they' as women put themselves in to?
They put themselves in situations and places where they will be approached...then complain about it when it all goes wrong...or...they can't find 'Mr Right'

Well maybe the issue is you are in the wrong place?
Maybe Mr nice guy has been watching you flirt all night with a total sleaze bag...a massive turn off for 'real' nice guys...like me for example ;)
Maybe Mr Nice Guy (and I am one of these guys) has real trouble hearing in noisy places...one of the reasons I dont like going out is because I find it really hard to communicate over noise. Add alcohol to that and often its hard to have any sort of meaningful connection or coherent conversation.

Its so complicated sometimes...and yes you can over think it.

The term 'nice guy' is actually quite derogative and denigrating. The guy who stands back, is reluctant to step up and take a chance, risk rejection etc etc.
Theres good arguments that he is a total 'woos' or 'big girls blouse' as ive often heard said before ;)
But thats only one side of it.
Some men are quite reserved, shy even, have a real respect for women, and often don't know how to go about meeting women.

Ladies these guys are often an untapped resource ;)
These are the guys (some of) who will give you the respect you deserve. Its because they were brought up like it. Its how they live their life. Most of them will not treat you like a piece of meat (unless you ask really nicely of course ;)

That brash confident smooth talking guy at the bar will give your ego a tickle..not to mention something else ;), but he's not there for the long haul...hes passing by lookin for looove.
Again, thats his life, his choices and I respect that.
BUT.....women (some women..not all are obviously in this category...thankfully) need to take responsibility and not get caught up in the 'poor me all men are bastards' syndrome, or all available men are gay, or all the good guys are taken, if they attract...and 'encourage' the very guys they complain about.

Dating is a challenge for everyone. Particularly these days. We all have our take on how it should be.

Remember too ladies that nice guys are often looking for 'nice girls' ;)
As judgemental as it obviously is, many women complaining about those kinds of guys are not..well..nice girls...

Cant always have it both ways ;)

Life isnt a Hollywood movie....and Richard Gere or George Clooney?
They are actors working off savvy scripts. They are a fantasy (and some women might say a bloody good one at that;) and they have willing beautiful partners and a storyline to boot.

Just as all women can't be a Meg Ryan, Elizabeth Hurley, Kate Hudson etc etc..

We all need a reality check. Its a challenge to connect with strangers for most of us.

Nice guys are not usually that nice anyway...just average guys...

..and the not so nice guys? Well they are probably not bad guys either, its just that they will probably give you the ride of your life then go onto the next available thing to assuage their ego.

Yep, in the end its all just a game.

But theres an ethic in 'how' you play it.....at least for 'nice guys' ;)

Posted by: isidore at January 3, 2010 10:57 AM

I agree with you Eral.
Younger women are more likely to make the first move, than say someone of my generation.
When I was younger, (I also spent the major part of my younger years living in rural areas) a woman who made the first move was considered far too forward and most men wouldn't take her seriously or think she just wanted sex. Girls could flirt outrageously but couldn't just be "up front" and ask a boy out.

These days while social interaction is different, I think that some men, especially those around my age, still have less respect for a woman who openly moves on them. They are still more likely to think "one night stand" than consider the woman a serious contender in the romance stakes.

Unless of course she's one of those women that just have that "wow" factor and turns mens heads where ever she goes!

From my observations over the years, men will put up with a lot of not-so-nice treatment from a woman like that, simply for the looks of envy from other men and the forlorn hope she will stay with him if he treats her like a princess, even though he knows deep down he is probably only a "stepping-stone" for someone she considers more her class and style.
And women with that kind of power over men usually know it too, which is why they often (but not always, there are some beautiful women who are beautiful on the inside as well) show such scant respect for the men they consider beneath them!

Younger women tend to believe that all is equal and they can just make a move on whomever they fancy. However, I'm not so sure that (deep down) social norms have actually changed that much really. They APPEAR to have, which is why it is so confusing for people, but I'm not so sure we aren't selling ourselves and our kids a cruel joke really.

While the "beautiful people" men and women have always been able to disregard the social 'norms' of their time, I think that for the ordinary person, things really haven't change that much in the dating world.

And yes with the "freedom" to ask first comes the risk of rejection. And overall I agree that men deal with this a lot better, mostly because that has been the way it has been for generations.

I only hope that women will become a lot less ruder once they have experienced the humiliation of rejection a few times themselves.
It has always amazed me how some women think it is acceptable or fair to try to humiliate a man who puts himself out there to ask her out. Even worse are those who actually think it is funny to do this!
Overall I agree with you, men are generally kinder in their rejection of the advances of a woman they are not attracted to because they well understand how that feels!

Women have always felt they had the power to pick and choose over the generations and that is one of the things I think that has changed.
The "wow" women will ALWAYS have the power, that is just the way it is. Even the "wow" blokes understand that!

But for the less "wow" ones amongst us, I think the playing field is somewhat more level for men and women.
Interestingly I see more of a tendency for men to be doing the "come on ladies!" thing nowadays far more than women.
And even more amazingly most of them are not what you would call "wow" men!

Maybe men are just sick of being rejected and so are 'getting back' at all those women who treated them less than kindly.
Who knows?

However, there is never an excuse to be rude to someone, no matter how much of a 'loser' you may think they are.
We are all vulnerable, when we "put ourselves out there" and approach someone.
At the very least we should give someone credit for trying. Even if we honestly believe they are definately NOT the person for us.

As many of our grandmothers used to say "Good manners cost nothing"!

Posted by: amberlightrose at January 2, 2010 10:43 AM

A guy who approaches you (esp. in a bar / nightclub) is more likely to be a "bad boy" who's chasing several other girls at the same time.

Unfortunately, a disproportionately small number of "nice guys" hesitate to make the first move - leaving women feeling frustrated and prompting the old stereotype that all "the nice guys are either taken or gay."

Women who refuse to make the first move are effectively cutting down their chances of finding the right guy.

Posted by: orkneymist at January 1, 2010 3:04 PM

On topic -
In cultural terms, younger women are now empowered to make any move they so wish; however i think it fair to remind all women, that with bravado of making the first move comes the risk of painful rejection.

Yes! men will say NO (thanks) too !

From my experience, woman do not deal with that very well.

A scorned woman can become as nasty a 'piece of work' as any belligerent male 'on the prowl'.

On the main, I think men have come to expect a large number of rude knock-backs, and hence are better prepared when it comes to making their approach.

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at January 1, 2010 11:44 AM

In the spirit of reawakening, i suggest we all forgive those whom we feel have trespasses against us, and may we also forget the unimportant, and petty disappointments of the past .

Make the most of your life, family, and friends and may the coming year be your best ever.

R

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at December 31, 2009 9:42 PM

I would also like to wish fellow online friends & bloggers a very Happy New Year.
Amber you summed up the situation with your
comment re choosing to be happy,grateful and seizing the opportunity to improve ourselves.

"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them � every day begin the task anew."
(Saint Francis de Sales)

Posted by: kurli at December 31, 2009 12:48 PM

Happy New Year all.

I'm off to her place for most of a week, and will see a dear niece on the way back.
Seeyez much later.

Posted by: timewarp1 at December 31, 2009 12:21 PM

A very Happy New Year to all my fellow bloggers and readers here.

So many of you have touched my heart and become true friends.

Thankyou ERAL for your kind words and welcome back. Willow is one special lady as we know. Do hope she is having a great holiday.

I wish you all a wonderful New Year filled with happiness, fun, adventure, prosperity and above all love.

Jen x

Posted by: jen234 at December 31, 2009 10:29 AM

You too. Ali :)

Has anyone heard how Alove is going on her overseas jaunt?
Hope she is having a great time. Shouldn't be any disapointment about a lack of snow according to the weather reports I've been reading!

Happy New Year everyone!
Hoping we ALL have a great year in 2010 full of love, peace, good health and happiness.
And we all take some time to appreciate the good things we do have and the people we have in our lives who love us, rather than being sad and focusing on what we don't have.

I've known a few lovely people who have died in the past couple of years.
Let's be honest, none of us knows what is waiting around the corner for us.

We can choose to be happy and be grateful for the fact we are here and have still got the opportunity to make our lives better.
Realistically, statistics tell us that some of us may never re-partner, and even if we do, things happen.
But if we are the kind of people who appreciate those who do love us, we are unlikely to be ever truly alone.

And if we are lonely, while we are still breathing we have the chance to behave and think differently to change all that.
It's up to us.

Have a good night everyone and take care.

Posted by: amberlightrose at December 31, 2009 10:09 AM

Is it possible to let bygones be bygones, ERAL?
I'd like that, but of course, it's your call.

Q

Posted by: quirkette at December 31, 2009 2:47 AM

** Happy New Year Bloggers**
Wishing everyone a brilliant 2010!!!
Ali
:-)

Posted by: ali1974 at December 30, 2009 10:25 PM

Posted by: quirkette at December 27, 2009 11:14 AM

You have the advantage of knowing my profile name there & who I am (dEco, for those who lurk.. just call me helpful!) .. whereas I have no idea who you are.

Not that it matters.. I comment on posts, not personalities.

* falls off my chair
ohhhhhhhhhh reaaalllly ???

Jen234,
From what Willow tells me, you really are a good hearted woman, and she would know. All the best with your life and new year...

As for TLD ... mweh

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at December 30, 2009 1:45 PM

Do we still expect men to make the first move?

turnonthewheel @ Dec 25, 9.37pm..

No.. you misunderstand me.. I didn't say it was a "happy little blog".

There's a contributor who has multiple puppets, some of them offensive.
There are those who bully.
There are those who target & insult.
There are those who hold grudges.. deserved or otherwise.

On the other hand, there are those who are sweet, gentle, appreciative, supportive & compassionate.

.. just like most blog sites, in fact.

You have the advantage of knowing my profile name there & who I am (dEco, for those who lurk.. just call me helpful!) .. whereas I have no idea who you are.

Not that it matters.. I comment on posts, not personalities.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas with their near & dear ones!

Cheers
Quirkette

Posted by: quirkette at December 27, 2009 11:14 AM

I can't see how anyone could be bored not working. There are so many jobs to do in a volunteer capacity out there and the people just all love you. It's a real treat at times and a wonderful experience.

Never had long service leave but I suppose that would be a bit of a treat as well.

Hot and lovely here again in Perth. Went to the Boxing Day sales but it was all a bit so so. Bought some lovely candles from a shop called Dusk and I'll put them around the house and let them burn merrily away. Love subtle scents wafting around. I wish I could put one in my car as I left some Dynamic Lifter in the back overnight last week and it still stinks !

Posted by: iaminperth at December 26, 2009 6:04 PM

I wonder how Alove is getting on in Paris. She certainly has her wish for plenty of snow, apparently it's bucketting down. Beautiful sites in Europe when it snows at Christmas and unbelievable photos.

We were 35 deg on Christmas Day here in Perth and the weather was perfect with a small gentle breeze. We had seafood, ham, loads of fresh fruit and wonderful wa wine. Kailis Bros is open for 36 hours straight in the lead up and you can buy fresh. I purchased at 5a.m. on Christmas Eve to avoid the crowds, although there were quite a few people thinking along the same lines. Lobsters are huge and the prawns, well yum !! Didn't go the desert thing but younger daughter had purchased lots of chocolate, including buderim ginger coated in dark chocolate. Really brought back some memories of when we lived in Qld. It's horribly expensive over here though so not purchased often, around about $90 a kilo.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 26, 2009 12:21 PM

quirkette at December 23, 2009 2:29 PM

Yes the last few days on the blog have been interesting dEco.

When someone wants to know something from someone else, do they ask NO, we post an accusation ( nice one Jen )

and is it not nice how the puppets can post anything they want.

Yes your right what a happy little blog

Posted by: turnonthewheel at December 25, 2009 9:37 PM

35 deg. here in Perth with a tiny breeze, absolutely beautiful weather for Christmas, or anytime really. Food is organised, presents purchased and now it's just relaxing and messing around in the garden out in the sun. Can't believe it is so peaceful here. I have become used to hearing lawn mowers going but then that is Sunday.

Can't get over how magnificent the weather is and yes I know it's boring, but it is actually amazingly beautiful here at the moment.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 24, 2009 4:25 PM

Getting serious, it's a real unsettler to be a conscientious overtime worker, and then suddenly stop. I've never had long-service leave. I'd hate it, because I become purposeless, bored and bothered if I have over a week off at a time.

When I retired at 65 I went into deep depression for over a year. Only re-opening my business gave me a purpose in life again and saved me.

So I hope you can soon decide on your next path, and start out busily along it. Then you'll feel alright again, and not need to continue spreading your unhappiness around.

All the best, anyway. Bill

Posted by: timewarp1 at December 23, 2009 3:44 PM

turnonthewheel @ Dec 22, 10.32pm..

I've no idea. Because I don't know whose break up you're talking about.
You say "of course you don't (notice that someone is being given the cold shoulder)"
Why "of course"?
Do I know you? Do you know me? How would you know if I'd notice or not?

Ali.. hi beautiful! Yes, it was great to meet you too. Santa is under strict instructions to grant your Christmas wishes as per the card, haha!

Qxx

Posted by: quirkette at December 23, 2009 2:29 PM

People are starting to offload boxes of tiny puppies and kittens which haven't sold prior to christmas. They are just dumped outside the animal shelters and left for someone else to deal with.

It just seems to be so cruel to me and the expectation is that another huge influx will begin near the end of January prior to little kids going back to school.

They describe them as living christmas presents and also for people thinking they are going to make a quick buck.

Surely the laws could be tightened to prevent indiscriminate breeding going on, it's just so cruel.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 23, 2009 10:03 AM

Mother in law FG, really!!! lol. They will be holding huge surfing championships at Margaret River region this year so you better be ready for some big waves.

Apparently some world class 'names' will be competing there and the spectacle is fantastic as you can view from top the cliffs as well. Don't forget to try some beer from Little Creatures brewery whilst you are here also. One of WA's iconic little boutique breweries.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 23, 2009 9:32 AM

perthy, anyone can locate an ISP address....there are many sites ...just google "find ISP location" it is public info to get a city location only.

now my question to you... how did you know that ....my comment re the location....unless your are doing a peeping tom act ....again.....very poor form.....and to know what I do......extremely poor manners....to blog that here.

Do not bring our comments /thoughts onto this blog....if any of us want to post here we will....as I for one am a paid up member here.

stop the lurking and join in....you just may be surprised.

have a great day all....jewels

Posted by: jewelsxr6 at December 23, 2009 8:14 AM

"don't know who you are referring to when you say that someone is being given "the cold shoulder"... I certainly haven't noticed it. People come & go, agree & disagree.. like any other blog forum"

of course you don't & that is the real shame of it, tell me there has been two break ups on this blog, the first one was well supported by those on this blog but the second no one touch, not one word of support, why is that ?

Posted by: turnonthewheel at December 22, 2009 10:32 PM

Hello Quirkette...so lovely to have met you over a few beers recently.
Ali
:-)
p.s. waiting to see if santa does deliver as per your card ;-) lol

Posted by: ali1974 at December 22, 2009 9:45 PM

Oh and by the way just about every post I write is copied and pasted by one of the bloggers over to the other site and has been for about the last year or so. Don't bother carrying on about me reading there because you actually cut and paste for some reason over there. Mainly to amuse the couple of token males who make the most ridiculous comments. I stand by my comment previously the language and comments are below putrid and at times extremely aggressive towards women there and it makes me wonder why any of you would put up with it. Especially you with children at home. Enough said, can't be bothered any more and not going to go into the he said, she said. Also checking IP addresses of bloggers trying to track them down is definitely not on and would be a breach of anyones security on the site. One of your 'wonderful friends' has already released my name on this site so you know what he is like and yet you say nothing about it. I wonder if you would like your children to mix with someone like him.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 22, 2009 9:06 PM

I am not saying any of those things and I am certainly not going to go into all the he said/she said stuff over and over. That is what split the blogs in the first place.

I haven't said any of those things that you have posted there and I am not going to bother answering any of them.

If you don't think the comments on the other blog site are not bizarre, the language at times crude, aggressive and contemptible, then that's up to you. Personally I am not interested in it and that'sthe reason this blog is moderated.

I realise you are under a lot of pressure and trying to do the best for your son but I am just saying please don't base your whole life on a load of pretty manipulative bloggers.

As for Glitter, not worth commenting on. Seems she is trying to do something with her life at last, although she loves niothing more to stir up trouble and argue with anyone who will listen. Let's hope also she finds a way to achieve her dreams because the clock is definitely ticking in her case and unless she pulls herself up pretty soon she willmiss the boat.

Not interested in TW at all. Never found his posts had a smidgen of truth and his constant running down of his family repulsed me.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 22, 2009 9:01 PM

Hello dear Amber! I am so enjoying my little visit back with youall, while work is quieter and I have bit of free time. (Work was so quiet last month that I started worrying I might be going deaf ...)

Jokes aside, at 74 (last week) I've decided to apply for the age pension, as a cushion against worrying in every low-sales week, where my next rent is coming from. (One week a month, lately.) I'm currently ploughing through the paperwork.

No Amber, it wasn't 300+ RSVP coffee first dates in 3 and a half years - it was only about 190 first dates (average one a week.) Each wrapped round a proper meal. Because I reckon anyone who won't commit to a minimum of 2 hours together to see if it's going to be the love of your life, is just a tyre-kicker. Not dedicated enough to finding someone to be worth spending my scarce time with.

Besides, women dress up, and that's a lot of work for a tiny 20-minute exposure to the local coffee shop crowd. So few people will have had time to see that you've got a date ...
................................

Yes Jen, Perthy and I used to cross swords a lot. Actually, I'd rave on about something or other to youall, and then she'd shoot me down in flames. Without naming me. But we all knew.

After a while I started complimenting her every time she posted something better than her usual stuff, and she got so cross she said she'd never mention me again. She didn't, and her stuff got better and better. Maybe you should try it some time.

Please give my warm regards to my old friends in that other blog. I lost their address, and don't even have time to follow this one often, let alone two.

Especially since my beloved has introduced me to the Baha'i faith, and I've upgraded to that and become active there. Seeyez.

Posted by: timewarp1 at December 22, 2009 7:51 PM

hey tiffanygrl

it's not always like this on here and most of the time we share many ideas amongst each other.

Just a little scrap going on but she'll be cool soon.

Honestly.. i can see perthy's point. Tho having side dig at Jen is just not on.
Perth i know your my mother in law but can you please apologise to jen.. This would make the world of difference to her.

Now ladies can we just be nice to each other or i'll have to write a post on woman's behaviour...!

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at December 22, 2009 7:51 PM

Thankyou so much for all the lovely comments dear bloggers.

As you say you know me - I will say also I know you all. Those that have written here are genuine and all inspiring and insightful people.

One may laugh about expanding ourselves, but truly this blogging experience can and does expand our minds. Why else would we be here? If not to seek advice or offer advice.
Through doing that a connectedness comes about. All good!

Perth - If you are now trying to say because you have taken 3 months of work it is now ok to sit and blog all day and night.... I find that quite ridiculous. You have been a major blogger here for the last 2 years at least. Anyone can check the archives on that. Pick a date - any date and I'm sure they will find you.

Or are you saying I shouldn't be on the computer BECAUSE I have 3 children? You think I am neglecting them? Yeah right! You have absolutely no clue!

Next - putrid language. That is a total laugh!

For some reason you are trying to make the readers believe I am one horrible person. Why? Suggesting the site I write on I generate hatred on. This is so far from the truth and I struggle to understand your motives.

I appreciate all the lovely posts from everyone here and like Glitter suppose I would like to know why you have singled the two of us in the most part.

I know, I know Timewarp you were one of the others a while back!

Jen

Posted by: jen234 at December 22, 2009 6:25 PM

A very generous post, Jen..

I agree with istj54.. you are a far, far better person than I.. to not meet such disparaging comments with rancour.

Good for you, you go girl!

Posted by: quirkette at December 22, 2009 5:17 PM

I have met our Jen and been lucky enough to be a guest in her beautiful home and blogged with her for over 18 months now. She is exactly what she seems - lovely and with a full life - as everyone here has said.

I agree with dEco, Jewels, Istj53 and Willow here with most of their comments . . .

But then again I now expect very little from you - what you have done to Jen, you have also done to me and it is simply odd behavior and a form of consistent bullying. You have been awful to Jen for years now - and for no apparent reason . .

There are some amazing, intelligent, funny and beautiful people that post over at the other blog and some of them post here too - by blogging at one or the other doesn't mean that they're mutually exclusive and all are welcome there and here. The only difference is over there people are a bit more comfortable in having 'real' conversations where people not always agree, which means it gets heated at times due to it's unmoderated nature - more like a chat room. They also help each other negotiate lifes tough times and rally together when needs be.

You bring up nasty things from the past and seemingly things from out of the blue - why?

Glitter

Posted by: glitteringblue at December 22, 2009 2:37 PM

Hi everyone,
Haven't had time to do any blogging (or read any blogs either!) recently.
Life has been pretty hectic with end of year stuff with my son and needing to finish off things at work so I can ACTUALLY take some holidays from work!
That combined with writing job applications and attending interviews (plus the odd work Christmas Party) means I have been just falling into bed every night exhausted.

Gosh anyone who thinks working for any Government agency these days "has it easy" certainly doesn't work anywhere I recognise.
Unpaid overtime and lots of it, seems to be the norm these days as governments cut down on "unnecessary" staff meaning those of us who still have jobs need to work even harder.

So my apologies to the man who sent me the unexpected email (the notification appeared in my full non-rsvp email inbox amongst all the advertisements: I do sign up for those on-line catalogues but then rarely get to actually read them!) that I haven't had a chance to answer.
Did make an effort to log-on to RSVP today so I could reply a few days before the 30 days was up, but it appears he has already 'blocked' me.
Oh well, "such is life"!
Has given me a chance to catch up on the blogs anyway which is great!

It seems while I was away TW and Virgil checked in and Bob left.
Hi TW glad to hear things are still going great for you in your life. Those (?)300+ first coffees must have been worth it; you have far more stamina than me!
Bob hope you check in from time-to-time, loved your sense of humour.
Virgil yes I agree about the tone, the blogs are far more "grown-up" these days! Pleased to hear you are now closer to your family and friends again.
Seriously, partners may come and go but our children and friends are truly priceless :)

Hi Kurli, good to hear from you too again!

Yes Iaminperth, I have to agree with everyone here. I have met Jen (we occasionally exchange the odd email) she is just the nicest person. She has had things a bit tough over the years, but that just seems to have made her even more positive.
Although we don't always agree on her out there into the universe philosophy (I think she thinks I am a bit too cynical :)) I admire for her her faith in the same way I admire others for their faith in God.
I would love to be able to believe so strongly but it's just not "me"

I suspect if you met her Perth, you would be very surprised. She is a lady to be cherished and admired. And I am so glad she appears to have now found someone who recognises that.

Yes I agree Perth, I will be looking at finding something "for me" besides gardening next year. I agree I do need something a little more "social" to be involved with.

Am going to skip across to the other blog to comment on the "hypothetical" problem being discussed. Love hypotheticals!

Hope everyone has a lovely Christmas and what they are hoping for comes true in the New Year.
(The cynic in me says: "be careful what you wish for" Sorry Jen & Glitter!)

To those of you who find Christmas painful due to family issues, I am so sorry, I hope you find some peace.
Perth has often assisted at Christmas with meals for the homeless and those down on their luck.
Once my children are "too busy" to come home for Christmas, that is what I intend on doing.
Nothing like helping those even worse off than you to get your mind off your own woes.

For those of you who are feeling a bit like it's everyone elses's fault for your life and you think you may have a few drinks and then give your ex a bit of curry - just don't.
We have a long time to regret the things we do in anger.

Lucky you Alove, hope you have a great trip! Hope things get just keep getting better and better Virgo.

RSVP usually goes "on-hold" over Christmas.
And I hope to be busy and will probably be still "winding down" mentally after a rather stressful year at work, so once again Happy Christmas everyone!

Posted by: amberlightrose at December 22, 2009 12:22 PM

Welcome Tiffany! You made an excellent point - one of the most penetrating and useful that I've read among thousands written on these blogs in the 2 or 3 years that I've been following them. (Rather intermittantly during the last 6 months, since Ms Right found me here.) What else can you teach us?

PS: Lovely to see you back, Jen. You're certainly a good egg, so I am prescribing Laxettes for our most-western weather correspondent. Still grey here in Brisvegus today, but I hope for tennis tonight. We were washed out on Sunday night. Seeyez all.

Posted by: timewarp1 at December 22, 2009 10:31 AM

Wow, perth.. what's your story?

Like others, I've enjoyed your posts over the couple of years (on & off) that I've been blogging.. but I'm astonished by your antipathy towards Jen!

Knowing her personally, & being well aware of her beautiful nature & generosity of spirit, I find it hard to comprehend how anyone could dislike her.. especially as her posts always show her genuine kindness & desire to help others.

I see that several other long-time bloggers have come to her defence.. include me in their numbers please.

Regarding the.. oooh aaah.. Other Blog..
what you are saying is patently untrue.
"..an ever decreasing circle"? Don't know where you got that idea from, as the numbers in the group have never dropped, but have gradually increased since its inception.

turnonthewheel..
I post reasonably regularly on The Other Blog, & read it most days.
I don't know who you are referring to when you say that someone is being given "the cold shoulder"... I certainly haven't noticed it. People come & go, agree & disagree.. like any other blog forum.

As has been said by others, lurking there & 'reporting back' here is schoolyard stuff.. if you have something to say about the group, have the character to say it there, not play tittle-tattle games here.

... just my opinion, naturally.

Posted by: quirkette at December 22, 2009 10:18 AM

Oh and BTW I live in Perth, have not moved, that's what I am thinking about in the three months off. Will stay in Perth as my kids are here and I think trying to track people thru their IT addresses is pretty sad, not to mention could be illegal especially if you work for a phone company.

So, now back to topic, Do I think men should make the first move. Why not just let the situation roll on and see what happens and forget all the rules and regulations and trying to control others thoughts and opinions.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 22, 2009 9:54 AM

Have all the issues you want guys. It is not these blogs I am talking about that I believe aren't healthy. You misunderstood Istj.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 22, 2009 9:47 AM

Geez guys.... that brought a tear. I have met probably at least 20 of the regular bloggers and count many as quite close friends. We have all shared so much over the last couple of years, and then when we meet it brings a specialness that is hard to explain.

Cyber friendships can be very valuable and maybe at times even more valuable as a place to share that which maybe cannot be shared with personal friends and family.

Having a couple of weeks now at home I might just pop in more here.

I do miss the blogging here actually, but with instant posting on our other blog and self-moderation it makes it a bit more enticing over there.

Have a lovely day everyone. Got my work Christmas party today. That should be fun!

Jen

Posted by: jen234 at December 22, 2009 9:46 AM

On another note, the posties have gone on strike in Perth. Whilst it doesn't bother me as I have email etc., I feel so sorry for the kids and elderly people who rely on the mail system for presents and wishes from relatives and friends.

Our postie said he is not going to strike and is going to keep trying to work over christmas, but not sure if that will work or not.

Can't believe how disappointing this will be for some this Christmas and I am sure they could have stalled their strike until afterwards. Apparently even the majority of Aust. Post workers voted against it but the unions will have their way.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 22, 2009 9:44 AM

Maybe it is different because I don't have three kids to look after, a large property etc. and I have taken three months off work to decide whether I wish to retire or not. Hope that clears that up for you.

I think people can blog and express opinions easily enough without using putrid language and generated hatred. That is the part I find particularly unhealthy for anyone.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 22, 2009 9:40 AM

iaminperth...I have never had issues with you before but do now...I have met jen and she is every bit as wonderful as some have said...she is warm, generous to a fault and ever so caring and kind...she is what I would classify as a "salt of the earth" sort of person...she is busy raising three children alone...she works, maintains a large property and is starting out in a relationship with a wonderful man who deeply cares for her...and like the rest of us sometimes reaches out on these blogs...what is there to criticise? She has made some wonderful life-long friends here because of her wonderful spirit and generosity...she is so much a better person than I am....so I am highly offended by your posts denegrating jen.

Posted by: istj53 at December 22, 2009 8:40 AM

well, I have been away for a while, from this blog that is, work is really really busy, can you believe that a govt dep moved 300 people into 2 different bldgs on the weekend..., and my boy came home for a week, may be the last visit before he goes on posting to the afghans...not looking forward to that....but I digress...so I have some time now so popped in...

Firstly, Merry christmas to all the regulars, all the newbies and especially to all the lovely bloggers I have met over the last 2 years in my travels.

One advantages of blogging is the friends that I have made in Perth, Hobart, Melbourne, Brisbane, the outback and the coast. And not just aquaitances, some of them are now close friends, and we get together on a regular basis.

Jen, just ignore it, some people just have to "pick" as they have nothing better to do...and yes you are right, perthy is one of the most profilic bloggers on RSVP. I just don't know where she gets the time....

To those that may lurk on the other blog.....just join in we discuss, do music, laugh, fight and make up....no one is on the outer......some people are there a lot others blog when they can....and personally, I find blooging to be very helpful...as in it is like having a online diary.....it is healthy to write and to write about how you feel....I was once on an expensive self developemnt course that work paid for at the ANU...and that is one thing that we were told that is good for you...write it out, what ever is bothering you, so blogging is perfect for that....and also getting feedback.....if you can't take the feedback...don't blog.

But Lurking ...well that is just bad!!!!!!

So perthy, do the healthy blogging and leave the other blogs alone, as you don't get involved...and it is really rude that you lurk and then comment/make opinions on the rsvp blog, about stuff from our blog...very very bad manners.

Have a lovely day all, one more sleep and then holidays.....jewels (who is hidden so don't bitch)

Posted by: jewelsxr6 at December 22, 2009 7:53 AM

Ok... let's sort all this out Perth... Firstly if you are saying I have a large butt (insinuated because I apparently sit on a computer all day) then allow me to say if I have.. well my boyfriend certainly loves it... oh, and the rest of me too!

Isolation - One of the biggest killers in society today? Can you produce the facts on that please?

I would say the computer is a Godsend to those in isolated communites or even self-imposed isolation. Of which I am not!!!

Your insinuation that it is unhealthy corresponding with bloggers is beyond preposterous. Could you please explain how it is any different to what you do on a daily basis? In fact post-for-post you would certainly out-shine me on post numbers. In fact you are obviously following this blog plus the other on a daily basis. I am not!

I am busy with my life, my family of 3 kids and their activities, one with disabilities, a boyfriend, my job, renovating my home, catching up with "my" friends, both off and on blog!

I have a very fulfilling life.... but thanks for your concern that I may be "at risk" because I blog too much!

Have a lovely Christmas in Perth with your girls, dog and cats!

Jen

Posted by: jen234 at December 22, 2009 7:29 AM

Hi Perth. I usually love your posts. I think you are an interesting woman and I enjoy hearing about your dogs, garden, the cafes etc - but I have to say I have met Jen and she is neither isolated not unhealthy. She's a lovely lady, surrounded by friends and was such a wonderful and generous hostess when we visited.

I realise its sometimes hard to get a good idea of other people's lives and personalities in a restricted forum such as this but I'd to set the record straight. Perhaps in "real life" you may or may not get along.... but I think you would both respect each other for your strong personalities and interesting lives.

Posted by: willow29 at December 22, 2009 7:21 AM

Many many ways of being unhealthy which are far worse than just having a large butt. Isolation is one of the biggest killers in society today and extremely dangerous.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 22, 2009 1:14 AM

Hi there Tiffanygrl welcome aboard.

Well Men show different emotional values to Woman and have different ideas what is the right approach to attracting a partner. A male approach is expected by most woman but often an approach by a male can be unerving to some. On the other hand if he's too direct it's a turn off..... The amout a woman flirts can make his mind up quick and easy but if she shows little interest tho kinda likes the male it places confusion in both minds. Some confusion can ocurr in his mind from the amount of sexual contact she recieves from others... ans she might think 'he could have fear of devotion..?'

Confusion can be a number of things. But from a males prospective lets take Take to much sexual contact for example;
To much contact results in a woman forever being picky waiting for Mr right to come along... Problem is with so much contact she becomes confused and starts to wonder what is MR right..? ''The man sends out hints with flattish gestures looking for a response.. It's his way of telling her he is interested and NEEDS to know where he stands. Too much flirting can be confusing on both sides and i find woman flirt around far to long. This leaves both parties unsure where they stand. Men are direct and expect direct answers. Woman tend to take things onboard and indulge in conversations far more, creating doubt if he's Mr right or not.

A man trying to see beyond the female mind when pursuing a relationship needs reassurance from the female showing she is willing to let go of her fears and be in that same moment he's in.

I bet if you placed the same woman out in the outback for a number of years the results would turn...meaning fewer options in men could mean the same man would become attractive. Further more woman only believe they have unlimited choices with sex because of the way society has it... 'man chase woman' theory.' So when she finds a bloke that takes her fancy, because of that build up society has placed .. it leaves the man confused.... is she playing or not,,? .

I like direct answers. but that's just me.. and i find it's something woman just can't do. They seem to like the power of the chase a little to much for me and i can't be bothered.

I reckon you never know what a woman is really thinking cause she doesn't know herself.

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at December 21, 2009 11:35 PM

Perth

Yes l think your right there, what l find interesting is who is in & out in that place l see that 1 there is now being given the cold shoulder, when a mear 12 months back he was part of the in group, it looks like it not good to stand along in this group,

Posted by: turnonthewheel at December 21, 2009 11:13 PM

Ask the ones who met me in November Perth just how "unhealthy" I am. lol

Guess you must be pretty unhealthy then as I wold think you are one of the most prolific posters on these blogs.

Jen

Posted by: jen234 at December 21, 2009 10:40 PM

Hey all, this is a really interesting topic which always seems to spark so much debate. For me, it's a simple question of whether you (as a man or woman) prefer to be the one doing the chasing, or whether you prefer to be chased. Once you decide, act accordingly. If a woman expects or wants to be pursued by a man, she should not be making the first move and should only date men who make the first move (as they are clearly men who prefer doing the chasing rather than being chased). If a woman enjoys the chase then of course she should make the first move. And just like some women will enjoy being chased, some men will also enjoy it. But then some won't and would prefer being the one to pursue a woman. The problems arise when, for example, a woman makes the first move, and pursues a man, and initially it works. But then, as time goes by, the woman resents the man for not acting like the aggressor. Common signs of chase-confusion are women who complain that their guy never does anything special for them, never remembers special dates and/or doesn't make a big deal about them, doesn't seem to want to make any effort towards "wooing" her. Well duh! Why would a guy woo a girl who chased after him?! He's already got her, so he doesn't have to do anything. And there in lies the problem. If a woman wants a man who will make the effort, she has to let him make the effort. Don't expect to be both the chaser and the one who is chased - it doesn't work like that! Pick a side and stick to it. You can't switch sides half-way through the game!

Posted by: tiffanygrl at December 21, 2009 8:37 PM

I would say that sitting in front of a computer every single day and evening of your life is certainly a great way of 'expanding yourself'. Very 'expanding' talking to the same people every day with an ever decreasing circle, big worry and very isolating I would think and definitely not at all healthy.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 21, 2009 6:34 PM

Hi everyone....
Just popped in to wish all my blogging friends a wonderful Christmas. Haven't been around much as my son has been quite sick, plus I have been seeing someone special now for over 3 months. Has been lovely and we are taking it slow. He lives 4 hours away which makes it difficult, but we are managing and enjoying our time together.

A highlight for the year was the wonderful get together in November with many of the regular bloggers - and contrary to some posts about the 'other blog' it actually has been a fun and vibrant gathering of people sharing, caring, and yes at times fighting with each other. Buy hey, isn't that what normal life is like anyway? I think so. Tempers get frayed, topics get interesting. And points of view get pushed. It's all part of life and learning and expanding ourselves.

Ultimately though... there are core friendships amongst many in this community of writers. How wonderful is that? Another benefit of RSVP.

Oh, and in case anyone is wondering why my profile is up at the moment, it is only because I was trying to contact someone for a friend of mine. I still have stamps left. So.... don't want anyone to think I am still looking if I am seeing someone seriously.

Have a wonderful Christmas everyone. And a bright and happy New Year. Hope everyone finds that special someone!

Jen x

Posted by: jen234 at December 21, 2009 11:27 AM

Ta Lovely Virgo, not long now until we're off and it looks like my white Christmas dream is going to come true! Brrrrr, yay!

Have a lovely day with the kids and Miss Poopy! I want a xmas day photo of Dodgy! Enjoy your Perth break, New Year's Eve is going to be incredible!

Merry Christmas all, see you all online in a couple of weeks! Stay safe, Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at December 20, 2009 11:41 PM

Alove......

Bon voyage....I hope you and V have a wonderful trip to Paris...and hopefully you will get to have a beautiful white Christmas..!

I've got my beautiful children and my Popette Christmas morning for our traditional barbeque breakfast followed by plum pudding..!

Then on Boxing Day it's off to Perth for a couple of weeks..:)))

Perthy, we should try and catch up for a coffee while I'm over near you...!!!

Lots of love......Virgo...xoxoxo

Posted by: virgowoman2 at December 20, 2009 9:00 AM

Perthie, you get wiser every year. That was a real gem, and so very well put too.

Season's greetings to you all. I'm off shortly to house-sit in the next suburb till after Xmas, and will look in on youall again in a month or two, when I've got a moment again.

Take care, and watch out on the road. I got a ticket today - hurrying from a customer's business to a supplier's bank 4 suburbs away, to pay up front for urgent goods, so that they'd be despatched from Adelaide before my supplier closes down for 3 weeks, on Monday arvo. Seeyez all 'ron.

Posted by: timewarp1 at December 18, 2009 10:25 PM

Clear communication Issi, what a gem. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

It's a bit like the question 'does my bum look big in this', well if you are at home prior to going out, yes it does. If you are in the car halfway there, you look lovely. If you are walking in the door, you are looking especially nice tonight. Let's get a little real and a little human and caring here.

Let's stop all this second guessing stuff and looking for 'body language'. Surely if you are in a relationship with someone you don't need magazines and television programmes to tell you how to react. Are we all such drones we can't think for ourselves any more.

A book selling millions says that if a guy doesn't call you he is just not that into you....well yeah, I could have told you that for free and if he's not why waste time trying to tie the poor bloke up. It's not a rodeo! I don't know why he's not, you don't know why he's not, maybe he just doesn't like you, because you appear needy and clingy. Maybe you over analyse every sentence and movement, albeit with no training or clue, and you drive him senseless with boredom. And then, of course, the other scenario of how sexy you are and the little come ons. All nice I suppose and he thinks, well a roll in the hay may be nice, but I don't think I'll become one of the mob and she doesn't ever talk about anything but herself.

Yeah, really good looking woman, keeps herself really well, really sexy, always doing the wriggle and the giggle and giving the little come ons, wow ! What me call her, no she's too high maintenance and really a bit of a bore, couldn't be bothered got better things going on at the moment. She';ll find someone else soon, she looks okay.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 18, 2009 10:00 AM

Hi Folks

Good points there Willow and Iaminperth.
I'm a bid jaded with it all in all honesty.
As handy as RSVP is, in Hobart its a small market for online dating...all the more reason to get 'out there' amongst it :)

Spent a year in Cotty a few years back what a fantastic place to live...that wind Freo Dr is constant though...makes Tassie in Spring look like a gentle breeze ;)
loved the coastline and snorkelling at Cottesloe around the reefs...and Rotty was like another world entirely!

Posted by: isidore at December 16, 2009 6:39 PM

Isadore,
Interesting post. You might be interested in GrosRene's post on "..Relationship, what now?"

I think that dating with exclusivity is a fairly modern concept. In the past couple of decades (40's to 70's), it was not unusual to go to the movie with one fellow and to the dance with another. To have 5 or 6 boyfriends/girlfriends was not uncommon. Then when you became "serious" with one of them...the exclusivity stepped in.

The comment on having friends that were/are in love with her made me smile. I know lots of women and men who have left lasting impressions on people they were close to. Rather than see them as casualties, I see it as being able to touch their hearts, particularly if they are still friends. I have friends that I love and friends that love me.

There is also that "thing" about men being more interested if they know they're not alone, lol. The more "wanted" a woman is, the more attractive she is to other men. That's how Ive had it explained to me by a man. Your opinions may be different to his, but hey, that's what diversity is all about and where would we be without it? All looking for exactly the same partner!

Posted by: willow29 at December 16, 2009 10:48 AM

Who cares what they think Enna. Work out what is right for you and what you feel comfortable with and do it. If the recipient doesn't welcome a contact from you then maybe they are not the kind of person you would be attracted to anyway.

Be yourself, do what you feel comfortable and at ease with, with honest motives and just see what happens. If the recipient wants to stand on ceremony and thinks they should be calling the shots, well why weren't they. I don't like people with all these rules and regulations who set themselves up as some kind of expert. The 'legends in their own minds' are usually just bores. Just, always be aware of your own safety and take care. I think like in real life, outside the site, 99.9% are very nice people, but there is always a dodgy one or two lurking.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 16, 2009 9:55 AM

No wind in Perth FG, It's the second windiest city in the world !! You get blown away here at times, hang onto your hat, or your surfboard in your case. You'll be right I'm sure, just watch for the sharks at Cottesloe, although they may have moved along a little by then.

Apparently seals congregate around that area so the sharks move in for brekkie. A few people have become breakfast and a few near misses. Two kayakers, not long ago had their boat bitten in half and then there is the Cott to Rotto swim with heavy presence of boats to keep the sharks away. Don't miss out on brekkie at the Blue Duck or Barschetta whilst here, sit on the balcony and look over the beach to Rottnest Island and down to Fremantle. It's really quite good, lots of noise, lots of locals.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 16, 2009 9:48 AM

Hi Folks

ennaa good questions!

I think what 'some' men, like myself are looking for is clear communication.
Calling the shots? Both parties should 'ideally' give each other enough cues and encouragement.
Sure men should lead, however, particularly on a first date in meeting a 'stranger', a guy needs a bit of help....sometimes quite a bit ;)
It can be awkward. What are the 'values' of this person? How much have they 'really' disclosed about themself?
You are going on a profile alone. That often is nowhere near enough.
Ive had similar conversations with different women for very mixed results. Thats natural. But it does make it challenging.

I'd encourage women to not call the shots...but make sure they communicate effectively that they have 'heard' them...whether thats a positive response or not, men need feedback too ;)

Men are not mind readers..well sometimes at least ;)

Showing interest, not just non verbally, but verbally, lets the guy know they are...or might be...interested.
Nothing is certain of course. I have no issue with a woman who likes to be 'serenaded'...just be clear about that.

I have found that a number of people I meet are not, or more accurately do not appear to be 'exclusively' single.
Thats a massive turn off for me.
It demonstrates a lack of committment to their current situation/s and a lack of committment to the process of dating...

The issue there is clear communication. I am open minded to relationships in most forms. But vague communication often serves those well who are not familiar with telling it how it is.

I can't take them seriously. Met a lovely girl recently, had dinner and a great chat.
Thing was I soon realised this person had a number of male friends who were obviously (call it male intuition;) interested in her. She seemed oblivious to this. My impression was; 'who are you trying to kid...me or yourself?'
Seemed she was hedging her bets a bit. Thats her right to live her life the way she sees fit. It does send a strong message to some men that she 'may' be a player.
As I say, that approach doesnt interest me. I don't see dating (on RSVP) as some sort of competition where you are being 'collected'..or played off.
Again...lack of committment in my view.

And on that theme its not isolated. I guess when you meet someone and they start talking about their male friends, the male friends who are in love with them..but only friends....it kinda puts things into perspective for you ;)
Ego at work.

We are all insecure to a point. We all want to be loved. but there is something going on with people who are 'collectors'...as I call them ;)

Thats not to be confused with 'dating' of course where its obvious that a number of dates may be the go.
But as I said earlier, communicate to the guy what you are about, and state your position.
Give him an inkling about 'you' and what 'you' expect out of this.

Don't keep him guessing......

Posted by: isidore at December 16, 2009 9:37 AM

Ta Perthy, I sure will, you have a lovely Christmas with your family and little cat, by the way, one of my clients knowing I'm a catlover suggested a booked called Dewey, about an abandoned kitten adopted by a library in America when he was put thru the library book return slot on a freezing night. Just got it out of our library and I can't put it down. Thought you might like his antics as it sounds like your little creature. They called him Dewey Readmore Books. Just a lovely heartwarming story. Enjoy and I'll let you know the Paris stories when I return, I also look forward to Elevators stories as they are having big storms in Canada at the moment, at least he gets decent snow, mine is only going to be little, it warms up just when I arrive! Take care Perthy, and nephew FG, have some respect or I'll speak to your Mum, naughty Sunny Jim, actually already did...... now you're in trouble, Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at December 16, 2009 12:12 AM

Good luck Bobb-ey, sincerely. Life can be tough, but it definitely got it's good bits when you get away from the 'puter and out amongst it.

All I would say is never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever give up on love, or your heart's desire and . . . .believing that it is possible, or that you deserve it.

You are always welcome back (even if you change your mind tomorrow : )) Everyone needs a place to drop in and have a chat from time to time.

Lotsa best wishes to you.

Luv Glitter xo

ps g'day Timewarp glad to hear you're doing fine : )

Posted by: glitteringblue at December 15, 2009 10:59 PM

Best wishes Timewarp, glad to hear your absence is for a good reason and that you have found someone that suites you. Have a lovely Festive Season and an even better New Year.

Posted by: aquamanda56 at December 15, 2009 10:48 PM

Well, do men just simply prefer to call the shots when it comes to dating? And are women perceived as 'too aggressive' if she makes the first move?

Well do men prefer to call the shots ??? Let me know members !!!

How often did we hang around the telephone hoping for that gorgeous boy we saw at the corner shop to phone for a date
???...Yes that's how it use to be..

Its all a mystery to me ..are we girls too aggressive if we hit the "kiss" button

Posted by: ennaa at December 15, 2009 7:11 PM

Merry Christmas to you too lovely-Virgo (and mr. spesh and popette and your family).
May your christmas and new year be blessed with much happiness and cherished memories.
Ali
xoxo
@-}--}-----

Posted by: ali1974 at December 15, 2009 6:26 PM

simplegame at December 15, 2009 6:45 AM: Goodbye Bob. It was good knowing you through the blogs, and better still meeting you at that exhausting full-on bloggermeet weekend in Melbourne, most of 2 years ago now.

You'll really be missed here, mate - your decency and sweetness of nature are such a good example to us all.

Good luck with what's next for you, Bob, and if that doesn't work out, we'll welcome you back here any time at all. All the best, old mate.

Posted by: timewarp1 at December 15, 2009 5:42 PM

Hi perthy tut tut check the history!!! No reply .. Bawww No body loves me... sob sob. sob .:( haha

Well i called my cousin last night and confirmed the booking at Margarets. The surf does get big there but i'm up for it. I'll have a crack at 10-12 feet, 15 if it's clean with no wind or slight off shore.

We are going on a wine tasting tour so will try out the reds:)

Also heading just north of Perth when i return from margs checking out the Upper Swan and that little national park just near it. Should be another adventure i'd say...!

Posted by: feelgood76 at December 15, 2009 4:57 PM

On topic. One guy I knew a while ago made the first move one night when his toe was bitten in the middle of the night by my daughters kitten. He nearly hit the roof and totally did his top ! Oh dear, I made the second move. I think there is a lot to be said about living on your own, especially if you are an animals lover like I am.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 15, 2009 12:38 PM

Emily Everywhere, our newly dumped kitten was desexed yesterday and is home happily wrecking our house. When I went to pick her up about 3pm I was amazed at the amount of people there and thought there must have been some kind of function going on. Turns out they are people who are fostering kittens as the cats home is so overloaded they can't cope. I counted about 8 enclosures brimming with tiny little animals waiting for a home. You have got to wonder the mentality of people who just dump animals for other people to take care or, or eventually put down of course.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 15, 2009 12:35 PM

Alove, Have a wonderful and safe trip. Create lots of memories and then come back and tell us all about them. So looking forward to hearing about your adventures.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 15, 2009 11:56 AM

Well, I wasnt going to post Christmas Greetings until next week, but seeing some ppl are heading off to far away places and exciting times, I better get in quickly!

So, Merry Christmas everyone! For those who are traveling, I hope you have a safe trip. May all your hopes and dreams come true for the New Year.
Txx

Posted by: willow29 at December 15, 2009 11:48 AM

TW - how lovely to see your post and the bit about agonising over a few dates - how true. Sometimes I think some people regress to their teens as they get older - and I include myself in that category. The angst and excitement......

Thanks for your warm wishes and I hope you and "Ms Right" have your happily ever after.

~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~
Virgo, thank you, my friend. I hope that your Christmas is full of love and happiness. xxxx

Posted by: willow29 at December 15, 2009 8:42 AM

Hey Lizzie,

Thanks sweetie......Merry Christmas and and great New Year and wonderful life to you too....and to your family.

Hey Guys,

Same from me to all.....its time to say goodbye for me...my time has come, and gone...not getting any younger or better looking!!!

Cant spend the rest of my life looking for something thats not there; so going to spend it doing other things....nothing to be sad about, just wasn't meant to be. Good luck to all of you; I sincerely hope you find what you are seeking in life.

Bob

Posted by: simplegame at December 15, 2009 6:45 AM

Ta Virgo Lovely, I wish you lots of love and special time over the festive season, remember to leave your mobile on, snow photo's coming!!! Alove xoxoxo

To all my online frends, shortly to go inactive till my return, I wish you all a wonderful xmas, play nice, have a lovely relaxing Christmas and a very safe and happy New Year and 2010, best wishes, Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at December 15, 2009 12:54 AM

What are you talking about FG? I remember, ages ago and I replied. You must be looking forward to your big booze up at the Margaret River. Surfing at Yallingup maybe ? The waves get pretty big there I am told and thee is quite a large reef so best be sober. Just at the top of the cliff there is an old cafe that used to sell the best 'big brekkies'. Great spot with really good homecooked food. Great for a hangover with hot fresh strong coffee. All the food at the Margaret River is good though. There is a good pub also in the township with a great outdoors area where you can get a mean steak and then stagger back home later. The WA reds are so good, come to think of it, so are the whites. You'll have a good time, the south west whole area is fantastic.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 14, 2009 11:41 PM

Hey perthy that reminds me... i'm still waiting for my kiss reply..:)

I read once you always reply to your kisses. C'mon then show me those lips baby..!

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at December 14, 2009 10:48 PM

To..Alove, FG, Ali, Bob, Perthy, Kurli, Icy, Willow, Fortress, Amber and Maybe....just wanted to drop in to say a very Merry Christmas to my beautiful blogging family...I wish you all a happy and safe holiday...and may the New Year bring love, and that special someone into your lives..!

Lots of love to you all.....Virgo...xoxoxo

Posted by: virgowoman2 at December 14, 2009 10:07 PM

Good on you Timewarp1!

Mighty post that one.

Posted by: isidore at December 14, 2009 9:20 PM

G-DAY timewarp :) long time no see. Last post i read of yours was poets night and that often gets a mention on the blogs.

Good to hear your still alive and kickin..:)

Take care Sir

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at December 14, 2009 9:00 PM

Hi Kurli, it all goes too quick doesn't it but glad you enjoyed! I fly out early next week, I too have great friends and neighbours who will look after things whilst I am away.

Posted by: aloveoflife at December 14, 2009 8:28 PM

Very warm Season's greetings to you all!

And so nice to see so many dear old names from MY Time, still here. And all being so sweet to one another! Wow!

And especially to see the old Sydney Bob back again. We'd missed you mate. Like Tibooburra Tom from the Friday Sandpit - another lovely bloke.

This is the first RSVP blog I've read for months. Only reason I did was that when I opened RSVP to get across it to my internet bank account, there was an Ad. for this blog, and guess what?.

Featuring me feisty ole street-theatre sparring partner from 18 months ago, Ms Spick and Span, or should I say Spack Attack?

Sorry, that's Aliane, isn't it? Another blast from me past, when she and Perthy simultaneously savaged poor dumped Deco on-blog, and I mistakenly assumed they were both just two more of HIS puppets.

That's when I took Perthie to top place in the over-48 female Australian Hit Parade for a day, when I called her for it on blog ..... Memories, memories .....

Perthie, I'm loving your current tales of packing up to move, and especially the series of inspirations that your subconscious is coming up with, to save you from it. day by day. You are such a joy to read, these days!

I had to move here from 10km south in May 2005, and it was hell. Two and a half large pantechnicon loads it took, to move my own stuff plus my home business with its hundred-plus archive boxes, and ten bays of shelving full of stock.

Over two grand just for the carrier, before he pinched the last cheque out of my unused next cheque book, and wrote himself a present of another ten grand in cash.

When his local branch of my bank phoned me later that arvo to OK it, I suggested they lock the front door quickly and call the cops - the account only had $600 left in it, and that was all for me.

And sweet of you Perthie dear for still remembering my horsey hoists, and mentioning them here anonymously last month. And I see you still have me blocked from seeing your new profile that doesn't have the puppy goober photo, six months after I met Ms Right on here, and you were then safe from me at last.

And the gorgeous Willow's here - another of my past Damsels.... Hope you have a safe move, and hopefully to somewhere you love even more, T.

And my best wishes to 'manda and all.

............................................

Someone asked what we're doing over Christmas. I'm house/dogs/cats/fish-sitting for a friend's daughter and family in the next suburb for a week, and will be joined there for the last 5 days by my Lismore love.

Which is where this blog's subject comes in. Sometimes she just HAS to make the first move.

'd been on RSVP for 3.1/2 years, since I was 70. Started by asking to see the profiles of all the women aged 50 to 70 and also living within 50km of my home, 10km south of the Brisbane CBD.

There were 887, and it took me a long 14-hour Saturday to weed out the smokers, heavy drinkers, skinnies and beanpoles. Left about 300 to put into my "favourites", ready to send out a batch of ten kisses, about once every ten days.

The results were pretty uniform. Three would soon say "No thanks", 3 would say "Why not meet?" and the last four would consider my offer of a potential life partnership as not even worth bothering to say "Buzz off Buster."

The women photographed adoring a half-empty wineglass always failed to bother to reply at all, so I soon learned not to waste a kiss on them.

By the time I'd sent out most of 500 kisses and about 150 had led to first dates, I was starting to feel less optimistic. I'd also said "No thanks" to hundreds of filapinas/russians/africans, and "Yes, date please" to all of about 30 local shielas who'd kissed me, aged down to 51 and up to 77.

I reckon if they can go against tradition and pluck up courage to chat you up at that age, they deserve some encouragement. Soon enough to let them see that it wouldn't be a goer, once they're at the date, and it's all good practice anyway.
..............................................

I see people in this blog agonising over a couple of dates. Get a grip and start aiming for one a week. Regular. You may not find your mate, but hey! you'll certainly get a social life in the meantime!

I see the first date as nothing more than a proper chance to check whether you want a second date or don't, and I've always been up-front about that.

But I'm still pretty choosy about those first dates. I hate discordant voices, so no date till I've heard her on the phone - and seen if she can string a sentence together.

And I'm looking for someone who has a sense of commitment to their life plans. So no quicky coffee dates. If she's not prepared to commit to investing at least 2 hours of her time with me talking to find out how good a fit we are, no date.

And as a modern feminist, it's going to be uncommittingly Dutch, unless she's an old pensioner dearie who never worked, so always got shouted.

Only about 3 women out of nearly 200 wanted to commit to nothing past the tyre-kicker's quick coffee, and were obviously users, so time saved for us both.
...............................................

By the time I'd had about 190 first dates I carefully reviewed the results. About a dozen I fancied, but they didn't return that feeling. Maybe twice as many who seemed to fancy me, but I felt I deserved someone closer to my match, which is all I was looking for - Ms Right-enuff for me, who thinks I'm Mr Right-enuff for her.

Two or 3 had become good friends but more like sisters, and 3 affaires that didn't last. (But I'm still in touch with 2 on an old-friend basis.)

I was getting worried. I'd added to my 'favorites' list whenever likely-looking local women sailed past my sights, and still had about 40 "least-likely-looking" maybe-possibles in that file, still unkissed. But after meeting about one new woman a week (and 3 in one week of excess) for over 3 years, I was starting to get battle fatigue.
.........................................

Then SHE sent me a kiss. From 200km away in Lismore. Geographically im-bloody-possible, so I'd never looked in her direction. I'd had a girlfriend 75km away at the Gold Coast the year before, and had spent most weekends with at her place for the 3 months we were together, and that was most of an hour each way. A cut-lunch trip.

But I looked at HER profile anyway. As you should. And was gob-smacked. Not a shred of doubt - she was THE ONE for me.

In our mid-70s, she can't get away from her business in Lismore and I can't get away from mine in Brisbane. So I spend one long weekend a month at her place, and she spends one or two at mine. And we skype-phone for more than half an hour a night.

So I say it's not a matter of "is it OK for the woman to make the first move?" I reckon sometimes it's essential, or a truly beautiful partnership may never even commence.

I would never have looked so far afield, but 'way up the bush, she was desperate enough to need to.

And if a woman chats me up, I've always thought What a compliment! At least she's got a good taste in men ....

Posted by: timewarp1 at December 14, 2009 7:24 PM

Hey All,

I dont know if the same adds come up from girls as they do for guys...but we talk about dating and sincerity here....big issue for most of us I would think.

The add coming up for me at present is "Learn why women reject men...become a pick-up master"!! Just the term "pick-up master" suggests a less than sincere sort of guy....funny add for this place I would think!!

Bob

Posted by: simplegame at December 14, 2009 5:26 PM

Thanks for the WB alove.........WHEN do you fly out?
Dear friends pampered my garden and my furry gurlz.
Only complaint I had was that my visit wasn't long enough.
To my other online friends here----it is so good to read of the positive vibes and joyful emotions that are occurrring.....My very best wishes to you all.....
ps.....has anyone heard from maybe?.

Posted by: kurli at December 13, 2009 9:24 PM

Earlier in the life of this blog I wrote that I'd want the guy to make the first move...I still hold true to that with one exception. I have just found a situation where I wouldn't want the guy to make the first movement (or any move actually)...received a kiss from a guy who seemed ok until I came across the following comment:
"I have an interest but it is more a diversion until someone more interesting passes my way."
Umm...yep...likely to be an error, but I'm just not in the mood to be a diversion for anyone ;-)
Hmmm...he might want to check his profile :-)
Ali
xo

Posted by: ali1974 at December 13, 2009 8:06 PM

Met some lovely and lively bloggers yesterday in Melb....thank you for the invite and for the great afternoon and all the laughter and chatter.
Ali
xoxo

Posted by: ali1974 at December 13, 2009 7:59 PM

Welcome back Miss Kurli, it has been stinking hot here and the rain has teased but hasn't happened. I too loved the crispness and the fresh air in Tassie, hope you had a wonderful trip! Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at December 13, 2009 3:43 PM

FG :Dec 3.......Granno DID get sunburned and now is peeling on forehead & nose (yuk)
Did meet with one luvverly man....but not for me I'm afraid (so sad)

Came back today to Briz heat and humidity and was ready to get return trip back to Hobart..once I smelled the aviation kero fumes,I so MISSED the pure clean air of Tassie

Posted by: kurli at December 12, 2009 8:56 PM

Such lovely news. Congratulations Deco, what an exciting project for you.

Icey and Virgo, Im so glad your romances are going well. Good things come to good people.

Alove - not long now! Have a brilliant trip!

Posted by: willow29 at December 10, 2009 9:30 PM

How very exciting!!!
@-}--}------

Ali
*BIG GRIN*

Posted by: ali1974 at December 10, 2009 8:45 PM

Hi Lovely Ali, too many........ actually 1 1/2 weeks now. I see that Elevator has decided to wing it to Canada and New York so we are abandoning you all for the cooler weather. Have you packed your bags yet, are you coming too?? Alove.

Posted by: aloveoflife at December 10, 2009 8:13 PM

How many more sleeps Alove?

Posted by: ali1974 at December 10, 2009 7:18 PM

Ta Icy for your nice comments and I am so happy that you are grinning. I am a big believer in Karma and what you put out you get back tenfold but without expectation. You deserve this happiness, I love that you are still smiling!

Hoping to get some nice photos from the trip and I'll post them here but with the boots, coat, scarves, gloves I don't know if anyone will recognise me!

Virgo, lovely one, what can I say, another person who deserves the best in life - and I think you've got him and he you, as for Miss Poopy I bet you spoiled each other rotten over the last couple of days - enjoy! Life is just getting better and better for you.

There is a line from the movie Hope Floats - when Sandra Bullocks daughter was really happy at the end of the movie she said "my cup runneth over". I love that line. Icy and Virgo's cups runneth over - may they continue to run over. To the stars, moon and milky way Virgo, Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at December 9, 2009 9:12 PM

Hello Lovely-Virgo,
Yes and looking forward to catching up with them. Jesse is still my main man :-) he's beautiful. I think it's a little like you and your Popetter, when you hold them the rest of the world and all your worries just melt away. Spending Sunday will Jesse...counting down the days to the weekend: looks like a good one coming :-)
I hope you have many more smiles from your beautiful Mr. Spesh. xo
Ali
xoxo

Posted by: ali1974 at December 9, 2009 8:05 PM

Icy....

I'm so pleased that you've found a beautiful lady, and that things are going very very well for you...it's what we're all looking for, and my heart is smiling for ya...:))

Thanks Fortress...I know you'll find your lady love, just be patient..!

My Mr. Spesh is a beautiful man, and has put an amazing smile on my face... I think I'm one lucky lady...:))

Alove...I'm off to look after my Popette for the second day...she is like a drug of dependence for me...once I hold and kiss her, I feel so wonderful...!!

Ali...I hear you're going to catch up with some bloggers on Saturday, have a great time...hope Jesse is still putting a smile on your dial..:)

FG (Sunny Jim)...I miss hearing about your adventures...you're going to lurve the West...have a sniff around over there..:)

Mwah to my beautiful blogging family...be
good..!!

Love Virgo...xoxoxo

Posted by: virgowoman2 at December 9, 2009 8:35 AM

-- Posted by: aloveoflife at December 7, 2009 6:56 PM "Think of Virgo and Icy".

Fortressheart - For every dud date you have consider it one step closer to finding your soul mate. It can be disheartening at times but the rewards are worth most definitely worth the few hiccups along the way.

A couple of months have now passed since I first met my lovely lady and things are good, very very good.

Virgo - so happy that things are going well for you too.

Alove - have a great trip to Paris. I'm sure you'll have a great time. Stay safe.

To everyone else, play nice, be happy and don't worry about the stuff you can't control. Bye for now.

Icy. :-)

Posted by: icycle67 at December 8, 2009 11:05 AM

Aloveoflife, you are so right and yes, I am also very happy for Virgo aka "Carrie" (from that well known TV series) she came through in my hour of need...a true friend. I have also been contacted by " Le Femme Youngsters" (thankfully not here) and while flattered, not a practical proposition, but it takes all sorts in this world and adds to the rich tapestry that one calls life.
Fortressheart

Posted by: fortressheart at December 7, 2009 10:01 PM

Perthy I read a great review recently on Little Creatures, one day, hopefully not too far away I look forward to Perth and the Margaret River, of course it's a dream of mine to swim with the whale sharks. All states seem to have such fabulous attributes.

Enjoy nephew FG! Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at December 7, 2009 6:58 PM

Ah Fortressheart, it just means that the right someone is just waiting for you. Every no is one step closer to a yes. Don't lose hope my friend. Think of Virgo and Icy.

Have a giggle at this one - had 2 kisses from the same person this morning, profile said 50yo male from Hobart, opening profile and it was a 26yo female from overseas - ewww - sorry whoever you are but I like men, I have female friends and have met some lovely people online male and female that I now class as friends but am after a relationship with a full blooded male. I note tonight that RSVP has made that bitsa's profile inactive. So deceiving but as I always say - NEXT! Sorry folks, I was shouting that out. Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at December 7, 2009 6:56 PM

No doubt i will thank's Perth. We are booking a cottage in Marg's for a week of surfing, fishing, golf, wine tasting and whatever else we can get up too...!

Just thinking about it makes me feelgood!

Posted by: feelgood76 at December 7, 2009 5:02 PM

You will love Margaret River, wine and cheese country and heaps of good food ! Course, there is the ice cream factory and the chocolate factory and some of the best waves in Aust at Yallingup just up the road. And there are a few small breweries with some of the best and oddest boutique beer available, some in fabulous premises, other in sort of sheds. I know you will enjoy ~!!!! You should also go to Fremantle which is just down the road from Cott and have fish and chips on the wharf prior to leaving. Come to think of it, nothing nicer than fresh cooked fish and chips sitting on the wharf after a boozy night out.....Oh, and Little Creatures brewery do the best brekkies in Australia I think.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 7, 2009 2:25 PM

Hi perth I'm not 100% sure as yet where the wedding will take place.. i did get told.. opps, but will get back to you on that. ..

Cott looks great and i'll be heading over early spending a few days in Margaret river for before the wedding.... ( Boys trip before the big day.!)

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at December 6, 2009 10:34 PM

I came, I saw and after lunch left; disappointed and some what offended that California treated our first meeting so flippantly and her profile should be sent to Consumer Affairs... not as described. So Aloveoflife we move on, thanks for the encouragement.
Fortressheart

Posted by: fortressheart at December 6, 2009 10:03 PM

Do you know where your cousin is getting married FG and the reception? Great kite surfing at one of the beaches at Cott, people have a wonderful time.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 6, 2009 7:01 PM

I would like to do the trip on the Ghan up to Darwin sometime or other. It takes in Kakadu and Ayrs Rock or Ullaroo, whatever it's called today. It looks like a heap of fun but expensive.

And I have never slept on a train before so that would be an experience. I think it would be nice after a good meal with plenty of our beautiful WA wine, clicketty clack, clicketty clack, tucked up in bed dozing off.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 6, 2009 6:59 PM

*mwah* Virgo...so good to read you've been having having a magical time. so brilliant!

Ali
xo

Posted by: ali1974 at December 5, 2009 10:11 PM

hello mother dearest..! Glad you had a good time:) My cousin is getting married at Cottesloe in feb so i'll be flying over cheering him on! Sounds like a great place and i'm looking forward to cutting loose after the wedding!

Don't you just love summer....!!!

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at December 5, 2009 7:10 PM

Welcome back Lovely Virgo, glad you enjoyed Perth, WA and NT are 2 places in Aus that I'm yet to explore - one day! Be sure you get in plenty of Miss Poopy time, I'm sure she missed her Nana Virgo! Moon, stars and milky way my friend, xx

Good luck Fortessheart, we expect a full report, you could be our lucky number 3!!

Posted by: aloveoflife at December 5, 2009 5:42 PM

Congratulations Decor, you sound happy and such an incredibly wonderful place to be. The colours and the movement of the landscape, awesome. I also love the feel of the heat in those areas. Sometimes when its particularly hot and dry you can actually feel the heat caressing you with beautiful silk. Quite an amazing experience.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 5, 2009 12:53 PM

Hi ALove & kurli..

Thanks for your comments.. it always gladdens my soul to hear from creative & art appreciating people!

I won't have work elsewhere for the foreseeable future, as Alice Springs is the venue that motivates me with my desert pieces.. they are very relevant to people who are there, in the middle of the desert themselves, so they can relate to the type of landscape I'm working from.

I've never been interested in exhibiting.. I've no desire to 'make a name for myself' & would rather move my work directly to the public through an appropriate gallery. The opportunity I've been offered is sooo exciting & I'm working to a deadline of early next year. I'll drive up with my work as soon as the worst of the heat is over (travelling, as I do, with my dog).

2010 is shaping up to be a great year, thank goodness (after several that have not been too wonderful..)

Thanks again for your good wishes, ladies..

dEco xx

Posted by: decoratress at December 5, 2009 11:56 AM

Hi Virgo
Congrats on your Perth happiness, cupid has done his job in spades.
Yep, blokes should make to first move, might sound old fashioned but it is tried and true.
Me, I'm Californian dreaming :)) this Sunday, wish me luck.
Fortressheart xx

Posted by: fortressheart at December 5, 2009 10:35 AM

That's what it's really all about isn't it........happy! Animals really have the right idea. You only have to watch them at the beach, how they integrate, how they welcome each other. They have their little snarls now and then but get over it quickly.

They can mix on all levels, with all colours, types and creeds and above it all they are happy !

Posted by: iaminperth at December 5, 2009 9:41 AM

How fantastic Virgo. Did you go to Fremantle and maybe get time to visit some of the wineries here as well.

I think we may have turned on some descent weather for you as well, how good. Yes, Cottesloe is usually where the dog and I go for a walk and it is a beautiful beach. The dog part is next to Leighton Beach which has that amazing Fremantle backdrop. It's pretty awesome and I know what you mean about the sunsets.

I am not going to ask questions but I am so glad you had a great time and I so hope that everything is going wonderfully well for you and you are happy.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 5, 2009 9:34 AM

Hey Perth....

I've just come home from spending a week in your beautiful town...what a lovely part of the world you live in....!

You've talked about Cottlesloe so often...now I've been there...your beaches are wonderful...and your sunsets are just magic..!!!

Big kisses and hugs to all my beautiful friends here...:)))

Love Virgo...xoxoxo

Posted by: virgowoman2 at December 5, 2009 8:19 AM

Alove, I'll have to wait. I do look forward to hearing about it...it's all very exciting *BIG GRIN*, but I won't hold my breath...as much as I like the color blue - it really don't suit my face and I don't want to look like a smurf ;-) heehee
Have a brilliant trip and come home safely to us....xoxo
Ali

Posted by: ali1974 at December 3, 2009 9:21 PM

Thank you iaminpeth and alove, apologies again if i have offended anyone. i do have a sometimes wicked sense of humour and sometimes forget that others may not be on the same wavelength...my lot in life! But can i reassure you, especially kurli, that i am real, profile is very true and i have only just arrived at this destination. I am a work in progress, but aren't we all?

Posted by: venturess007 at December 3, 2009 5:34 PM

Take care then Grann'o have fun... remember to look after your skin and stay out of the sun...! Slip slop slap

PS: you might need a friends help with that:))

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at December 3, 2009 5:07 PM

Wow, George doesn't come cheap does he ? I have also heard that Burt Baccarach is coming to Australia with orchestra. I love his music and he must be really quite elderly now. I wonder if Dionne Warwick will be with them. It's all getting a bit exciting in downtown Perth. Could mean we have two concerts in 12 months rather than none !

Really the state government here needs to get real and grow up. We have the worst entertainment complex, or rather big blown up tent you have ever seen. It's a disgrace so we rarely get international acts. Couple that with the blatant dodgy reporting that goes on here and no one wants to come. They just have no one with any backbone in government who want to advance the state. We still don't have after hours trading, how absolutely pathetic and building work must stop because the Queen and a whole load of Government heads are coming here and they won't be able to see the views properly. I mean bugger the people here who pay your salary, just grovel to the dignits. They're like a bunch of fat old women at a country fare bickering over who has the best sponge cake.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 3, 2009 3:20 PM

I agree guys re kitten. It's just we already have two and my big puppy. Oh well, she is staying as she has nowhere to go anyway. Poor little thing, aren't people cruel.

What am I saying, 'poor little thing'. Emily Everywhere is curled up on my bed after digging a big hole in my sheet to get to the lambswool underlay. She has a belly full of cat biscuits/dog biscuits/pieces of leg ham off the bone courtesy of daughter/kitten milk and anything else that she decided to help herself to. She has left the smelliest bomb in the kitty box and peed in my shower again, washed her feet and her face and will now snooze happily until it's time to start over again. Oh well, I guess we are her Christmas present, says me looking philosophically at my sheet with a huge tear in it, that was a 750 thread count as well. The cat place said they will desex her for half price and I never realised how many champagne corks we had under our furniture. Must speak to that daughter of mine when she gets home, lol.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 3, 2009 3:11 PM

Thanks Perth..
Appreciated :-)

deco

ps: I note that it still takes several tries to get past the "you are not signed in" irritation.. attempt no.10 coming up.
rsvp.. I can't believe you haven't fixed the problem in over a year... isn't your revenue adequate to get this site glitch sorted?

Posted by: decoratress at December 3, 2009 2:06 PM

Well said Ali, totally agree.

Christmas is nearly here again. Such a happy time for some and such a sad time for others.

We are going to have an incredibly happy/incredibly sad one this year on one hand. But having said that we are going to have a very productive one as well. We are going to take everything we can and enjoy the happy bit, leave the sad bit alone as we can't do anything about it at the moment, and fill that gap by doing something really positive for some other people.

We are going to have so much good karma for the coming year that nothing can go wrong !!! ha ha that's the plan anyway.

We also have our 'do something really nice for a stranger' at christmas thing going also. My daughter has achieved hers but I'm lagging this year. I'll get there though as it's a bit of fun and, I suppose being really selfish, you get so much in return.

So Willow and Elevator, put the 'what might have been' in a box for later and concentrate on 'what is' at the moment and accept it for the time being. You can open the box later and address the issues one by one until they are either resolved, or sometimes just accepted. There are lots of things in life we can't change so accept it and do the very best with what you have.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 3, 2009 11:22 AM

I want to do a tour of 'The Great Gardens of Europe" sometime. Maybe next year when daughter is well and truly half way mark with uni. It goes for five weeks and takes in so many countries across Europe. Not cheap, but sounds incredibly wonderful, full of history and beauty.

There is another wonderful sounding one where you bicycle across Italy taking in so many of the little villages and wonderful countryside along the way. It's not a tour de france type of trip, it's just leisurely bicycle with a fair bit of support around if needed. Sounded wonderful and off the beaten track through the countryside.

I found the most wonderful tiny rice cooker in the back of my cupboard last night whilst putting 'stuff' in boxes again! It was purchased in Japan years ago and designed for two people. I forgot I had it so it was hauled out. Then I pulled out the transformer and remembered why I hadn';t used it. The transformer is bigger than the cooker and so heavy I could hardly lift it. What a laugh, to think I lugged that all the way back to Australia. The dopey things you do when travelling.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 3, 2009 11:06 AM

Perthie dont you know..cats do the choosing,NEVER the humans!! hehe
enjoy your little ball of fluff

You all be good whilst I check out the Apple isle and no fighting in the sand pit (Whatever happened with OBW I miss him)

Posted by: kurli at December 3, 2009 9:29 AM

Decoratess, please let me/us know if you are showing in Brissie, I love visiting galleries and would certainly be interested in viewing such mixed media. Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at December 3, 2009 12:53 AM

Perthy! For you - George Michael
Sydney - 26th February 2010
Perth - 20th February 2010

Freedom VIP Reserve pricing from $469.90
Diamond Reserve pricing from $359.90
Platinum Reserve pricing from $249.90
Gold Reserve pricing from $169.90
The exact location of your tickets cannot be advised at time of booking. Please view the venue map to see where section is located prior to selecting tickets.

I don't have a map, just copied the above from Blue Tix!

Posted by: aloveoflife at December 2, 2009 11:35 PM

Ta Ali! I'll be sure to bore you all a touch more come 5th January, can you all wait till then?? hehehe

Bye Glitterbelle, don't stay away too long but take care of yourself.

Didn't go to kindy Decoratess, can't figure out whether I was rejected or too smart ;-)

Suzie Monet's garden in Giverney was one place I was very keen to go is only 70k's out of Paris, but sadly closed for some winter months so - darn - I'll have to go back again!! Tough huh.

Venturess, keep the funnies coming, I love a great sense of humour!

It seems we are all doing such exciting things at the moment, art (love that!), moving, travels. I'd love to hear everyone's plans for the holiday season, we are such a motley crue it is fabulous. Alove x

Awww, a new kitten, I adore cats, she chose you Perthy, you don't choose a cat.

Just got home from a trade night at West End, fantastic, champers and nibbles and then he sent us next door to Libertine which is a perfumerie - just gorgeous, what a nice night out.

Posted by: aloveoflife at December 2, 2009 11:26 PM

Let's All keep focussed on the GOOD vibes...NONE of us need or require the negativity dished out by "suss profiles"
Deco.... I would LOVE to see some of your art...fabric,thread & fibre is my "life"".
(I am) still trying to decide if I have room for my laptop to remain abreast/in tune( lol )with my lovely cyber friends

OK maybe I should get a life........but....have made some really great friends via the www over last 9 years......I'm off to research Tassie............
Nite all.

Posted by: kurli at December 2, 2009 11:20 PM

I'll have to whisper this little story....animals, oh dear and it's cool here again....weather.

We have a tiny little kitten. She arrived via our security door, hanging on and screaming like mad. She purrs like mad and her little feet are peddling up and down and she hasn't a clue what she is doing either. We brought her in and she practically exploded with all the purring then all tiny size of her arched her back flared her tail spat at my 40 kg dog and jumped in her biscuits which she tried to gobble down mostly without chewing.

We thought she may be some 'special' type of kitten as she is so odd looking and decided to try to find out where she had come from. We asked the cats home, the local vets, you name it. We put up posters and still no one seems interested.

Anyway, she is happily devouring everything in sight, follows me like a puppy, bashes my poor dog, poos in the pot and pees in my shower.

So I guess, we now have an addition. I can't take her to the cats home as she is not actually glamorous so it looks like we have a little addition. Oh well, I still haven';t totally made up my mind about moving, but daughter is a real animal lover as well and it would be nice to have a large garden

Posted by: iaminperth at December 2, 2009 10:25 PM

You're okay Venture just gets spoiled now and then by a few people trying to be nasty and stir trouble.

How about this, we have Decor our resident artist and Alove about to travel to Paris. What other news, oh Kurli about to go tripping again, on the ground this time I think.

I'm still packing boxes as the packing pixies didn;t turn up and then the really bad mail box fairy turned up with a little card that said 25% off sale at very nice shop in Cottesloe and only for four days. Oh dear, gosh life's hard when you're not at work and I haven't got a clue what I'm doing.

Seriously though Decor I would love to be able to collect bits of nothing and turn them into wonderful pieces of art. Good for you I hope you have a fascinating and enjoyable time.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 2, 2009 10:03 PM

I'm with you on this one Elevator - well said and so true. I don't really blog however I love reading the comments and I know you all quite well and you are a great bunch of guys. I can understand your excitement and anticipation Alove and look forward to hearing about your trip.
I'm away next year on long service leave and will also be visiting France and spending a few days in Paris so will be interested in your report.
Elevator I remember you mentioning that you lived in Paris for sometime so would be interested in some info. I plan to go to Giverny to Monet's home and garden - have you been there? Not going till May so I have plenty of time.
Alove I saw a picture in our local paper of the Arc de Triomphe decorated in Xmas lights - just beautiful. Best wishes for a wonderful trip. Sue

Posted by: suzie273 at December 2, 2009 9:43 PM

LOL, I wish I had packing fairies! Im not moving yet, just considering my options. Settlement hasnt finalised on the property yet. I guess its like Elevatormusic said; end of year, people reminisce and perhaps think of the "could have beens".

Still now that its sold I dont need welders and tractors and a hundred spare fan belts and nails by the kg, spinning jennys, all those things that belong on a farm.

Actually, my neighbour has two spare Woofers, both 25 year old french men, fit and nice looking and "are open minded, looking for real Aussie experiences". Sounds like an RSVP profile!

Posted by: willow29 at December 2, 2009 9:29 PM

I am sorry if i offended anyone...all was tongue in cheek...please accept apologies.
Blogging is open to all, reading back i do sound catty...not meant to be....words/meaning do/does get lost in translation. Am suitably chastised, thnx iaminperth ;(

Posted by: venturess007 at December 2, 2009 9:11 PM

Thanks Perth..

Yes.. I know I'm not the first, nor will be the last, that this 'entity' targets.

ALove.. ignore, & know that you & I are indeed above this sort of juvenile mumbo-jumbo. I'm sure that you, like I, left this sort of idiocy behind in kindergarten.

Happily, my life is going particularly well at the moment, & I'm busy working on my art for a gallery in Alice Springs.
The owner has asked me to submit work to them.. a very exciting project for me, using, as it does, materials I've collected from Central Australia over the last 7yrs.

The next couple of months will find me elbow deep in red dust, bones, feathers & dingo fence.. not to mention hair string, seedpods & snail shells!

Cheers all..
(well.. almost all, hahaha!)
deco x

Posted by: decoratress at December 2, 2009 8:18 PM

A big Bye Bye to one and all :)
Its come time to close "Glitterbelle" down... ive really enjoyed e-meeting many of you here and wish you ALL the best with EVERYthing :)

I'll be "on site" until i clear the paperwork & will randomly pass through the blogs every now & then.

Play nice - lifes to short to be bitchy.

enjoy:)

K

Posted by: glitterbelle at December 2, 2009 7:42 PM

Happy and safe travels Kurli, make sure you get some more glamour shots for your profile. I can't wait to hear about your exploits down there, stay safe, Alove x

Thank you all for your kind comments, also Elevator, it is a hard time for many and I agree with you wholeheartedly. Take care of you.

Posted by: aloveoflife at December 2, 2009 6:37 PM

posted by cattleyaorchids at December 1, 2009 8:57 AM
My experience of the those who are regulars is that we don't make personal derogatory comments. We share our views openly and at times disagree with each other, we *laugh* at the stupid jokes and sayings we make (or try to make), support each other in dating life and encourage in our individual pursuits. We don't try to intentionally confuse anyone and antagonise other bloggers.
Ali

Posted by: ali1974 at December 2, 2009 5:37 PM

posted by aloveoflife at November 30, 2009 11:22 PM

Good on you alove! Have a brilliant time! I wanna hear/read all about it and live a little vicariously through you :-)
Ali
xo

Posted by: ali1974 at December 2, 2009 5:35 PM

Posted by: cattleyaorchids at December 1, 2009 6:28 PM
I swear to God I will never post her again this is my farewell !
---------------------

i see you're still posting....

Posted by: ali1974 at December 2, 2009 5:32 PM

Perthie....lovely n cool today but Briz is expecting 31 again this weekend.Today has been so good (smile)
So sorry the packing fairies didnt turn up.,they're probably busy with all the ADF postings coming up

As for Perth having cool Christmasses--dont count on it---I can remember some doozies,

Venture & elevator...don't be scared off,most of us are harmless (chuckle)
Willow TX kiddo

Posted by: kurli at December 2, 2009 4:18 PM

Are you still moving as well Willow ? I think we all seem to be getting 'itchy' feet around here. Daughter wasn't at all keen to move a little while back but now she's thinking, might be good. Whatever, the house is getting a really good sort out of 'stuff' we haven't used for years and that has got to be good.

Gosh the packing thing is hard though. I am hopeless, totally hopeless at things like that and youngest is even worse. We both sat there a couple of days ago in a pile of 'stuff', books and clothes and just stuff and decided it was all too hard and went to lunch in Fremantle instead. Went to Kailis Bros. on the wharf and had a wonderful feast of seafood. Mixed seafood platter for me and garlic prawns, fresh cut chips and salad for daughter. Then we drove around and looked at some wonderful old houses and decided they weren't for us, got tired and went home. Unfortunately the packing fairies hadn't turned up so we are back where we started, lol.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 2, 2009 11:33 AM

Have a great time Kurli and let us know all the places you visit.

Hope you find some cooler weather also. We are not hearing about any heatwaves in Brisbane but from the sound of it, it's hot over your way.

We still have the doonahs here and cold feet at night !!

Posted by: iaminperth at December 2, 2009 11:20 AM

.
For Alove/Decrat, visionary says never have peace &goodlife as u deserved! I see the centipede crawlers in vision. God know that's what I see! so sorry I can help you !

Posted by: cattleyaorchids at December 2, 2009 11:19 AM

Decor, Take no notice, it's just another multi blogging and getting nasty. I had my name revealed a while ago also, particularly pathetic act.

Just weak troublemakers with nothing better to do with their time.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 2, 2009 11:09 AM

It is really disappointing to read some of the insults and snide remarks being thrown about here. The basic reason we are all here is to make friends. If you all step back and think about it, we have all suffered pain in our lives some perhaps more than others, otherwise we wouldn't be here. I am in that boat.

It take all types to make up a group of people like us but we all have a common goal, to find somebody to make our lives a little happier. We should support and be happy for one another not making puerile comments.

All the negative comments do is destroy our self esteem even more. Surely we don't need that with Christmas (my most difficult time) just around the corner.

Have a think, look in the mirror and tell yourself "I'm better than that" because you are! Life is way too short to sweat the small stuff guys. Be happy and take care.

Posted by: elevatormusic at December 2, 2009 11:04 AM

Perth, I looked through my souvenirs the other day - and same, menus (not stolen, lol), tickets, postcards never sent and all sorts. I found a Scouse passport, where you had to earn it by doing things like visit the pub where the Beatles played, cross the Mersey on a Ferry, visit the Liver birds etc. All good fun.

Posted by: willow29 at December 2, 2009 9:50 AM

Kurli, have a wonderful time my friend xxxx

Posted by: willow29 at December 2, 2009 9:46 AM

Alove,perthie;fg,SG,willow
Thursday I'm heading SOUTH.....and friends & family have been warned that I might never return to "just south of the Tropic of capricorn " (haven't told my cats that..ROFLM)

Alove......just remember to share memories AND pics with us stay at homes.
Briz on Sunday was hot enough to make a glass table explode............(Waves to Virgo)
Night all

Posted by: kurli at December 2, 2009 12:04 AM

We have had a couple of days with the temp going to the early thirties but nothing like you guys have had in Qld. Even with the warmer days the evenings have still been quite cool. Christmas in Perth is not terribly hot I don't think. It seems to get a little hotter about mid January.

I don't mind the heat at all and don't feel it too much so it's not a problem here. After the cold winters that we have here it's something to look forward to.

You will have a wonderful time on your trip and also meet some pretty interesting like minded people along the way. We always keep little bags and things as souvenirs to laugh about later. We even found a little paper bag I bought a pastry in, numerous serviettes and all sorts of bits and pieces. Just junk really but a laugh to look back and think of all the happy times.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 1, 2009 11:37 PM

I enjoy the blogs...helps to put a personality to the name...cattle needs to pull her horns in, alove, sweetie, go girl; inimperth...loves a chat; simplegame...a work in progress? feelgood...still thinking....me? guess!

Posted by: venturess007 at December 1, 2009 11:32 PM

wow, tantrum chucking, drug taking and weather updates,white abbits all in one day...must be getting close to the silly season. Can i be a part of the family too?
Bob darling, marry me!

Posted by: venturess007 at December 1, 2009 11:21 PM

Glitter..
haha.. yeah, I ain't losin any sleep over it!
dEco xx

ALove..
No apology necessary.. I'm just sorry you're having to deal with her crap. She had it in for me bigtime a couple of years ago.. posted a whole heap of bullshit, disclosing my real name, saying she'd put a spell on me.. ffs!

Bob & FG..
Sadly, I think you're wasting your breath, my friends.. many have tried to get through before you, with zero success.

Cattle..
If the truth be known, I feel sorry for you. You're obviously not a well person.

decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at December 1, 2009 10:14 PM

Don't think drugs will help FG......

After a nice bubble bath, dinner and a glass of white I'm quite relaxed and not going anywhere!!! I enjoy the blogs, and you lot - you all make me laugh.

Ta Perthy, I've enjoyed other people chatting about their experiences and it amazes me that we can see the same thing but thru different eyes it is completely unique. All set now for the trip and took your advice and have some lovely cashmere pashmina's, nice and snuggly!

You're not boring me with your stories, we just haven't had much of a weather report of late, Virgo asked me about it last week in fact (ssshhh, she's watching us - hi Lovely), Brisbane has been stinking hot, 33 and 34 over the weekend, Sunday night was 23, today cooled down a lot and it's nice but will be back up again by the weekend. 10 minutes talking over the fence to a neighbour and I had a sunburnt arm - the perils of fair skin.

Oh, just got Kurli's "white rabbits", pinch and a punch back to you - when are you going to Tassie, I had 2 weeks there in November 2004, it was quite fresh, snowed on Mt Wellington but the fresh air was so pure, my skin looked great, I slept well, walked heaps and ate fabulous salmon. It is so easy to get around and every corner you go around there is another spectacular view. Bliss.

Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at December 1, 2009 9:55 PM

Girlfriend....lay off the drugs...

or take more...

Posted by: feelgood76 at December 1, 2009 8:54 PM

Take no notice Alove. You are not boring anyone here at all and it's been a treat to talk about and make suggestions re your trip. Anyone who thinks they know everthing about travelling is having themselves on as it changes by the year, by the occurrences in the world at the moment and by the places you are visiting.

We're just chatting away as we normally do.
Anyway, keep telling us about your trip and I will keep boring you with my house, garden and plans for the future. And by the way, on the first day of summer in Perth it's going to rain. It is quite warm though at the moment and I am zonked spending the whole day christmas shopping with daughter in Perth.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 1, 2009 8:51 PM

Don't hate me FG if your dreams never come true ! Yes the fun is all we wanted here but all was diminished by desperation and losses. My age preference are specified in my profile I won't go with a man exceed to my age limits of 50 years old and very very sorry to say, I'd definitely I wont date a man who is 62 years old.
Who are this people in desperate cases. oh 24/7 blogging in multi or maxie id? By the way reread blogs; The girls best friends is Diamond.. might recall what you have said.. sorry I touch thy nerved !
Dec-o-rat-ess, liars are burned during early stage of century in England history. Dementia are common for people in senior citizen. Merits is given to you WTF;..
Bloggers are smart to know, they'll left the lalaland otherwise they're not here to experience the deception looking for replacement they have lost, happiness is loved not slaved by their ex partners personal deficiency!!! remember that!
A physical abnormalities "A hands of a Man ! who is she? guess!

Posted by: cattleyaorchids at December 1, 2009 7:27 PM

Don't worry bout it dEco, the main thing is that YOU'RE happy and the friends that know you know how authentic and true you are.

Love Glitter xoxo

Posted by: glitteringblue at December 1, 2009 6:59 PM

Thank you Perthy, Bob, FG, Willow and Kurli - sorry if I missed anyone - Virgo if you're there lovely one. All I've done is respond to some wonderful blogs about my trip. I'm so sorry if I have bored anyone. This has been a dream, yes it is my first time there but in the past I have been a bit of an island girl, Vanuatu, New Caledonia, seen a lot of Australia and island hopped thru the Whitsundays to the top end. Also NZ some years ago. I now am able to indulge myself and am doing it first class - trust me, if you had lived my life for the last 5 years you would not have needed our Bob to chuck you off the Harbour Bridge, I'd have done it myself. Loss of family and loved ones is such a tough time to go thru as most of you will agree.

Decoratess, I'm so sorry that Aliane has dropped you into this, I don't know how or why but she/it/him whatever seems to have an issue with me. If you are a friend of Bob's then I'm sure you would be a lovely person, he is a gem.

Cattle, get your act together, if you are here to make friends do so, if all you want to do is alienate people get off, move on, these are lovely people on here, and we do welcome newbies with open arms.

Plain out nastiness I will not tolerate. Sorry guys but I think I'm off here now.

Kurli, you enjoy Tassie, it's a beautiful place and such lovely clean air - I loved the east coast and fell in love with Bicheno. Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at December 1, 2009 6:42 PM

Haha, yes Kurli, HE is safe . . .but are you? He can be very very charming - trust me.

Seriously though, why don't you get him to take you to the Tessellated Pavement, Eaglehawk Neck, Doo Town and The Blowhole - all very close together and it's a lovely drive on a sunny day . . . a good driver and a lovely tour guide.

Have Fun.

Luv Glitter ;-)))

Posted by: glitteringblue at December 1, 2009 6:41 PM

Hey Glitteringblue, I want to say bye for you. I'll send you a kiss to say Thank you. I found a new blog site I'm moving over there, new friends, new people. At least I can spend my freetime posting and reading peoples comments, they're funny people, no personal bitching, I like to spend my spare time over new site while watching ASX pricing index during my online working hours. I'm working at Australian Stock Exchange. Yep I'm connected and have access to comsec reason why i loved to blog to release some pressure from trading. The things is you know what happening here is out of control and not to my liking. Have you noted/see here below the postie names what I am talking about 'a family circle" think the clues my friend I know you are wise indeed>
I swear to God I will never post her again this is my farewell !

Posted by: cattleyaorchids at December 1, 2009 6:28 PM

Hey Guys,

And as far as "family circle" is concerned...theres room for everyone here...we all have our ups and downs and differences of opinion..we cant all be perfect, and we all fuck up occasionally (me more than most). Its when the comments get personal; and the snide little one liners come in that you cross a line.

Everyone comes on here to say what they think and feel...its not for me to judge you...nor you me. Its reasonable to ask questions, its reasonable to give opoinions...but opinions are like arseholes...everyone has one...but they might not necessarily be right for me.

I may disagree with what you say; I may not even like the person you are...but you have the right to believe what you like, and be who you are..if we were all the same, this world would be a boring old place.

Bob

Posted by: simplegame at December 1, 2009 6:22 PM

Hey Cattlya,

Theres a reason I look different to 3 years ago...I'm 3 years older and had put on 10kg...also slumming it on holidays in latest photos...not all of us improve with age:))

I have been on here under a few names...notgodsgift, notafigjam, barrydoll (strictly that for a friend's amusement) and simplegame....but i ALWAYS sign off as 'BOB" which is my real name...so hardly see that as hiding, and have never used multiple identities at once; just changed my name for the hell of it:)))

Alove is just Alove...Decoratress is just Decoratress...Feelgood is just Feelgood (even though he was accused of being you as Kick)...they are just facts.

I dont need to try to make a fool of you....you are doing a great job of that all by yourself!!...but still trying to work out why??

Bob

Posted by: simplegame at December 1, 2009 6:04 PM

Hey Glitter
Your friend is safe......I promise to behave myself.......truly!

Posted by: kurli at December 1, 2009 4:31 PM

Right'O ...i can only sit for so long and read this BS coming from you Cattle. If you have issue with anyone just say so. If not, don't make side dig remarks towards anyone. It reads like you are two years old. I have never met you in person tho i've been around long enough to know the story behind your thoughts. Drop it and move on cause this is a place for fun sharing and learning...

Cattle we are all is this together.

FG keepin it real.

Posted by: feelgood76 at December 1, 2009 3:49 PM

Alove, I think its wonderful that you are sharing your excitement with us. You know that most of us are extremely happy for you and wish you a wonderful trip.

Posted by: willow29 at December 1, 2009 2:41 PM

Aloveoflife = White Rabbit to All....
hahahha!!!! you make me laugh broad !!
Did you know that OZ are finding a cure for rabbits uncontrolled stamens ?
Thanks for the last big laugh Kurli !
yet I must go away...

Posted by: cattleyaorchids at December 1, 2009 1:36 PM

Hi Kurli,

A friend of mine down in Tassie says he's taking you out on a date!!

He says he's looking forward to it.

Have fun on your trip.

Glitter xo : ))))))))))))

Posted by: glitteringblue at December 1, 2009 1:29 PM

Hey Bob.. thanks mate! And it was great to catch up with you last time you were down this way.. xx

cattleyaorchids.. wtf? ..are you serious?????

I haven't been on this site for nearly a year, or blogged here for nearly two... & you are STILL carrying on, accusing people of being me, or me of being other people. Sheeesh!

I repeat (although I don't know why I bother, as you've never believed me) that I HAVE ONLY EVER HAD ONE PROFILE NAME.
(sorry to shout, folks, but I can't seem to get Aliane to register this fact).

I'm not on the site now but a friend alerted me to the fact that my name was coming up AGAIN & thought I'd just jump on & say "wtf? .. will ya please Get. Over. It."

And you know what, cattle?
I STILL don't know how or why you got the wrong idea way, way back (2yrs ago, in fact!!!) from something I wrote to you!

And that's the God's honest truth, whether you believe it or not.

decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at December 1, 2009 9:55 AM

Cattleya..c'mon LIGHTEN up!!
Does that mean that if I admit to being excited over going to Tassie I'm boasting??
I think NOT........am looking forward to cooler weather than in Briz'

Alove
You keep on with the excitement of anticipation,most of us are enjoying your excitement.

"White rabbits to all" kurli

Posted by: kurli at December 1, 2009 9:41 AM

This is all I learn, when the government Corrupted by the Con members of the government the evidence of indiscreet action were hide indispensable.
The "activism' were only the main source to voice out the truth in public. But they are prosecuted merciless.....

Posted by: cattleyaorchids at December 1, 2009 9:18 AM

I would like to add more, Why this people are so Selfish, Unconsiderate to involved other's people's peace & unity to express their thoughts sharing their ideas and experiences in these public forum? But The masters of two old lovers are pretentious, hypocrite making fools to everyone, to the fact they still loved each other( get some place for both of you ! just leave us alone here if you still have Respectful Manners remaining for both of You ) !!!,.. they think us people who comes here without having problems at all,.. were about to kick'en us out and .have nothing to say for us to be here in these blogs. Only the family circle were allowed to post and says anything as a master of derogatory manners....
My comments are = If you were not belong to ""family circle'' ain not gonna be any room for us here!

Posted by: cattleyaorchids at December 1, 2009 8:57 AM

Who you gonna make a fool Bob. Not sure about you if you exist too. Your pic is different from 3 years ago. Yeah, our fellow mate Outoffryingfan agree what he say, we should leave your happy family alone ! sorry too. I don't know who's FG, and definitely I don't know you too. So I may suggest love your family circle dearly OK. I only deal with people who are genuine here, that's plain and simple !..

Posted by: cattleyaorchids at December 1, 2009 8:08 AM

ewww three star, not nice accommodation in Paris, especially with the cold. I am sure Alove has worked her itinerary nicely. Not too long now until the trip at a wonderful time of year. I love christmas in Europe but just hate the cold, so once all the celebrations are over I am out of there. You will have a great time and a ton of fun.

Posted by: iaminperth at December 1, 2009 12:57 AM

Ta Bob for your comments, those like Bob that know me off blog know who I am.

Cattle if you think you're going to go on a overseas trip for that sort of money you can just get your travel agent relative to book you another 2 weeks at Surfers. You're dreaming - move on - said it before, time to get real. You are making a fool of yourself. $1k AUS = EUR605.80 - you'll be on a street corner begging for stale bread and a park bench to rest on.

I have put a lot off over the last number of years due to family sadness, it is now my time to catch up and live.

Posted by: aloveoflife at November 30, 2009 11:22 PM

Hey Cattleya,

Sorrry...you are wrong. Alove is just Alove...no-one else. I know Alove and Decoratress pwersonally...they are as different as you and FG:))

Alove is not boasting...shes just excited about her trip...cant see anything wrong with that?

Bob

Posted by: simplegame at November 30, 2009 9:54 PM

Correct! Aloveoflife + Decoratress + others aliases.
Jettsetter are humble they said once or twice is enough. But for you are obviously promoting a Paris Tourism,.. ohh should I say boasting as if you are the only person have ever to see Paris...well it's a big deal for first timer isn't it. Let me give you a costsaver for 8 days in Paris, 3 star Hotel accommodation twin share of A$ 1075.00 + 1100.00 airfare+ A1000.00 pocket money...there you go--Hello Paris--- it's a big deal for U isn't it.
I know how much it cost to go there , one of my relatives got travel agency.. so I don't think I am not aware of costsavers !...ounch !

Posted by: cattleyaorchids at November 30, 2009 9:30 PM

Wrong cattle/kick/aliane - very wrong, have been overseas quite a bit.

Posted by: aloveoflife at November 30, 2009 8:06 PM

or maybe she is trying to figure out a nice way to sorry mate, i'm gay!

Posted by: sl1970 at November 30, 2009 8:00 PM

Hey Alove,

No, he farted...shes reeling backwards!!

Bob

Posted by: simplegame at November 30, 2009 5:15 PM

That guy in the photo look alike my bf, it seems hes cheating on me. Can't wait to confront him.

Posted by: bodybeauty at November 30, 2009 1:11 PM

Very obvious first time overseas traveller, never stop Paris countdown. Wait and see when she come back, all the blogs will be subjective to all her Paris adventures 24/7.

I can't see any significant insightful post of her boring !
Blogs is dying....

Posted by: cattleyaorchids at November 30, 2009 9:21 AM

Yep, he farted...and had garlic breath..phewwwee!

Posted by: aquamanda56 at November 30, 2009 1:29 AM

Maybe she did Bob... oh heck that's right, we don't fart, just .... nevermind.

Don't give out hankies Steph, someone would have to wash them - ewwwww. I'd hand him a tissue! lol

Posted by: aloveoflife at November 30, 2009 12:20 AM

Hey Guys,

I think he farted

Bob

Posted by: simplegame at November 29, 2009 11:11 PM

Or...she could let out a big sneeeze (snot all over him), then fall back onto the train tracks because she was in the middle of a major hayfever attack.

But all was not lost , he had a snotrag hankie (given his face to him by Aunty Rowdie Alove) and after wiping his face, decided to pull her to safety because the train, as usual, was running late. *LOL*

Posted by: sl1970 at November 29, 2009 11:09 PM

Hey there Nephew, are you behaving whilst Mum is away on business??? Didn't think so!! Paris is on the brain, 3 weeks to go now my dear chap! Getting a bit sick of the heat and humidity we've had of late here in Bris (34 today), looking forward to chilly weather and French men oui!

Steph and FG, I think she's recoiling at the smelly yukky cheap flowers - I agree with Nastiegirl - they are from Coles - hey Nastiegirl - fun profile!! Welcome to the madhouse! Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at November 29, 2009 10:44 PM

Rowdiness Aunty..... Alove, you have Paris on the brain.!!! norty...:)

Hey Steph
I too saw the railway tracks... but i was thinking 'what if she fell backwards just when he handed her the flowers'

your comments of 'Touch him first' sounds interesting..! haha ?

Posted by: feelgood76 at November 29, 2009 7:58 PM

The ego is not dominant as I see as an equals to all genders. The equality are engage in natural issue. When you are out in public places the movement of body language of both sexes is the only signal to identify, smile and eye contacts can speak in many languages.

Why bother when a woman makes the first move? Is it thinking of old fashion ways, a woman should like this has had a positive role model in her upbringings and a balance lifestyle waiting to be approached because you felt like an urban runaway and afraid to be rejected? Nothing too small to set him off when you know who is not ascending articulate the points you need to make, and are wasting your time getting nowhere..

A life-changing experience is charming and deadly, getting the first move is not you're thinking to lock-up yourself and suggest to take assertiveness training to learn to negotiate his needs, then restructure you relationship with you as equal. It's about how you handle your perspective in advance, as skilled negotiator, it is the act of confidence to make the first move, have to draw the attention someone you like to meet for quite intriguing and interesting to know that person behind all about who is he or what is he like to be with a woman like you... if you think to struggle to master them, well, everyone is different and be happy with the fact that if one of you is a skilled negotiator- you're half-way there to meet someone interesting.

I belong to the modern age, I do to make the first move to know the person well, but once I'd identify his tactics manoeuvre's were not to my liking,...then...I am to make the first move to disarm him with my gambits....
I take No big deals !

Posted by: cattleyaorchids at November 29, 2009 1:07 PM

i bet she's really thinking cheap coles flowers i'm not going to sniff them cause they stink.
yes guys should make the first move. granted you can help them by giving loads and loads of hints but i would NEVER ask out a guy or make the first move. i would make it easy for them to make the first move but i actually would never actully touch them first..

Posted by: nastiegirl at November 28, 2009 9:51 PM

Alove you have got it in one. :)

This blog has now been renamed RSVP Rowdiness!!!

Aside from the normal navel-gazing, there has been too much blog-bitchiness happening in my absence. If I can be nice to my ex at today's school hall opening, you can be nice to each other via a computer.

Otherwise you will all be sent to the naughty corner and lashed with a thousand RSVP rejections!!!

Steph

Posted by: sl1970 at November 28, 2009 5:11 PM

Steph, you evil child, love it!!! These blogs needs some rowdiness!! Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at November 28, 2009 12:33 AM

I'm backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. Your peace and quiet is over people!!! :)

Take a look at the photo at the topic of this blog for a minute. Is it just me or has anybody else realised that if she said the wrong thing about him (or his taste in flowers), that he could push her backwards onto the railway tracks? *L*

Steph

Posted by: sl1970 at November 27, 2009 10:51 PM

G-day Sincere i checked out your profile and it sounds sincere,, tho to me reads a little flat. If you are an outgoing person and like a good laugh try a few photos showing different sides of your personality.. Gives the viewer a better understanding.
good luck ...:)

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at November 25, 2009 9:53 PM

hmmmm...I guess I can be someones pisces ;)

Hey,,,wouldn't it be good if they had those little emoticons here on this blog.

Posted by: aquamanda56 at November 25, 2009 8:36 PM

Posted by: sincerec at November 24, 2009 5:05 PM
Hi ya Sincerec :) welcome to the blogs - they are a great way to meet people!
Your profile is great - the only thing i can suggest is print out a copy & show some mates that you trust, see what they can add

enjoy the ride :)

'Belle

Posted by: glitterbelle at November 24, 2009 11:39 PM

Hey Lapetitechou,

Cant see how you would be set up to fail...how can you fail if I go in with no expectations of you? The way I look at these things is 2 people going out for drinks, or dinner, just to enjoy the night, and perhaps each others company.

I enjoy the company of women...I cant remember a date (within the last 10 years) that hasn't gone OK...even where we have not decided to see each other again. Nothing wrong with the date or the company...just not enough there to keep it going. I dont mind forming a friendship only...but most people here dont want that...they want more; and thats their choice.

I too am anything but perfect...but I am relaxed about my dates...I am going to meet someone new, and hope to make a new friend. If anything else develops, it will have to over time...not looking for the quick fix.

Bob

Posted by: simplegame at November 24, 2009 10:58 PM

LaPetite,

Geez I'm slow for a smart chick!!

Of course I know who you are. Tagging gave it away ;)

Nice photos : ))

Luv Glitter xoxo

Posted by: glitteringblue at November 24, 2009 7:09 PM

Posted by: simplegame at November 22, 2009 7:53 PM

I'm coming Bob....just removing the last splinter from the club (soften the blow abit!)
Ali

Posted by: ali1974 at November 24, 2009 6:29 PM

Hi, I have never blogged before but have been following the blogs here for a little while. Any helpful advice regarding my profile appreciated.

With regards to this blog, I have only sent out a couple of kisses and have tended to wait for the guy to make the move. I think I might change my strategy after reading some of the comments. New Year approaches calls for new tactics!

Posted by: sincerec at November 24, 2009 5:05 PM

Posted by: lapetitechou at November 24, 2009 1:19 PM

Yes, I agree with those words. As someone said to me today good manners and equality aren't mutually exclusive.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 24, 2009 4:32 PM

Posted by: aquamanda56 at November 24, 2009 10:06 AM

Don't feel that way aqua .... keep trying. Most people are only looking for one fish and for someone .... that's you!

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 24, 2009 3:35 PM

She will also know beforehand that I expect nothing in return...and her company is my reward...because it is.

Posted by: simplegame at November 23, 2009 10:07 PM

Bob, I'm trying to think of some dates I have been on and the way I would have responded if someone had said that to me, and I think my first response would be that the fellow is setting me up to fail simply because I have been placed on such a high pedestal I'm bound to fall off it sooner or later.

No one can live up to those expectations. No one. I'm imperfect, just like you. I can appreciate the compliment, I can admire your impeccable manners and the wonderful company, but somewhere I would be wishing that I would like to take you out on a date on my terms for once, just to return the compliment. Not saying you're selfish, I'm just thinking it's all rather proprietal. *shrugs shoulders* But isn't that what makes it such wonderful banquet of life, the differences between us?

Glitter .... maaaaaybe .... plenty of other blogs abound, including one of my own.

Posted by: lapetitechou at November 24, 2009 1:19 PM

What a delemma! Seems when I make the first move, I make the wrong choice...as far as RSVP kisses go anyway. I have to conclude I am but a small fish in a very big sea and the guys have plenty to choose from.

Posted by: aquamanda56 at November 24, 2009 10:06 AM

"It's called being an individual, not being one of a mob and not having to have other people tell them how to behave. And it's also called being honest.

Posted by: iaminperth at November 23, 2009 11:32 PM"

And yet you think you should tell me what to do and how to behave? Hmmmmm ..... interesting.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 24, 2009 8:45 AM

Posted by: iaminperth at November 23, 2009 11:32 PM

And I do what I do .... it's called being an individual.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 24, 2009 8:42 AM

Posted by: snowy009 at November 23, 2009 8:56 PM

Good point. I've also experienced this several times.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 24, 2009 8:39 AM

Dear whathe66, that's a much better profile! (I don't mean to sound like a teacher!)
I know it's hard and you never get it quite right. I'm definitely with you on the no-photo bit. I don't get it? Why WOULDNT you put your photo in? It's as absurd as not putting a profile in! It's nothing to do with wanting to see if they are attractive or not; it's about needing to know what you feel about them, intuitively, through their face. I guess people fear being judged or something.
Just to be a pain and go back to your profile, I noticed that you didn't remove the
"DON'T want a father for my kids!!" comment, you just moved it.
So what's the story there? If it's because no one will EVER replace their dad, that's both fine and understandable. But if it's because you feel that would put pressure on a bloke and so you're actually saying "its ok guys you don?t have to worry about being a surrogate dad" to make it easier for them, you are underestimating most blokes and shutting a door in their face. MOST women on rsvp between 40 & 50 have kids! We are fine with that! We're big boys now. People WANT to be part of the others' lives ? kids & all. What I'm really saying is that, on your profile, be more selective. Don't say things that needn't be said. Don't mention the kids bit. Don't mention the photos bit. Don't mention the kisses bit, (god, if rsvp sucks then people who ignore kisses suck more!) AND the big no-no is saying things like 'give me a go'. It sounds a bit desperate and actually turns people away. But mostly, it needn't be said.
We are ALL saying 'give me a go', we are ALL saying that life's incomplete without a mate, we are ALL saying please don't reject my kiss because it hurts, we are ALL saying I don't want the moon & stars anymore, just someone nice who will love me and spend some time with me and make me feel a bit special. That's why we are all on rsvp. But we can't be that open in print. It's the rules of the game. Of course it sucks. But not as much as a pick-up bar or blind dates.
Humans are meant to find mates when we are all young and free and don't have boxes around our lives. Finding a mate after that is hard. It is not for the feint hearted?good on you whathe66 for getting in amongst it, hanging in there, rewriting profiles; even looking for a mate as a widow means you've crossed lots of bridges and had to deal with issues?
So, be patient. You sound like a really cool person, it took me a while to understand the type of woman you are; the type of humor you are using - sort of stating the obvious with a bit of a stir! I like that. Doesn't work in profiles but! I would love to say 'I'm sensitive and romantic; and sometimes I'm not and just want sex.' To me that's such an obvious joke, but I guarantee no one would laugh and I would NEVER get a date!
Anyway, take care whathe66. May all your dreams come true! PhillipEV

Posted by: phillipev at November 24, 2009 12:20 AM

Ask who out ? You seem to have no level of understanding what is being said. It is fairly easy to read what each of us have said and our views and yet you still as benign questions.

Let's try to simplify : I do what I do, Bob does what he does, Kurli does what she does, Alove does what she does and so it goes. Does that make it easier for you. It's called being an individual, not being one of a mob and not having to have other people tell them how to behave. And it's also called being honest.

Posted by: iaminperth at November 23, 2009 11:32 PM

Lapetitechou, interesting that you used the word "tagging" here - are you over at TLD as well? Just curious. We may know you as someone else? I think I know you anyway. It's a funny old place this cyberland hey?

Glitter ;)

Posted by: glitteringblue at November 23, 2009 10:41 PM

Hi Lapetitechou,

Cant answer for anyone else...only for me. If it makes any difference...I will tell the woman before we are seated ( or if we know each other, before the date) that her money is no good...I believe she should feel at ease as far as any of that is concerned. She will also know beforehand that I expect nothing in return...and her company is my reward...because it is.

I have never had an actual date that hasn't gone well; even though I have certainly not been the guy she is seeking....or she the woman I am not seeking.

Bob

Posted by: simplegame at November 23, 2009 10:07 PM

Woody,

You dont have to get the message...thats who I am

Bob

Posted by: simplegame at November 23, 2009 9:53 PM

SG@5.21pm today---------

WHY did they break the mold after you were released?

Posted by: kurli at November 23, 2009 9:45 PM

Posted by: iaminperth at November 23, 2009 6:30 PM

Why don't you ask him out then? Oh yeah, that might appear intimidating.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 23, 2009 9:34 PM

I have traveled in Europe and America and my theory is that Australian females are much less likely to make a first move. Australian females are also much more likely to react quite harshly in response. Perhaps they will not make the first move because they expect a reaction similar to what they would give out themselves and they could not take it. It's surprising how many Australian females think that every guy is a deviant or a stalker. Thankfully however there are a few nice relaxed friendly Aussie girls out there and they are having a lot of fun.

Posted by: snowy009 at November 23, 2009 8:56 PM

Posted by simplegame at November 23, 2009 5:21 PM

Just tagging from your comments SG and not intended as criticism, but can I just say that the whole issue of who pays is a nightmare for me.

I have to say that twenty years after I was first single hasn't actually made it any easier for me to make the first move even with all the life experience and confidence I have and I can probably count on the fingers of a mutilated hand how many times I have asked the guy out on the first date. I'm an old fashioned gal that way and I love it that a man would consider it good manners to pay, it's always appreciated and I make darn sure he is thanked (usually by email or phone call the next morning).

The minefield starts the moment a subsequent date is arranged. The problem SG is that every man - and I mean Every.Man. - has a different code or expectation. Some wouldn't dream of letting you pay, but will accept an offer of you paying for the wine or after dinner drinks; others expect - but don't articulate it until the bill arrives - to split the bill; others will never let you pay, but will happily accept the offer of a home-cooked meal - which then leads to the dilemma of when to make that offer and let him into your kitchen ... (euphemism? hmmmm....)

But I digress. Then there's the I-invited-you-so-Iwill-pay arrangement, which is great but what if you prefer a neighbourhood Indian and he pays for a hatted-restaurant with the latest reviews? Some men will accept a 50/50 split while others will only ever let you pay once every 5 meals. Then there's the whole issue of toilet etiquette (as in, I have to use the loo but don't want to time it for when the bill arrives because he's going to think I'm dodging my share of the costs)

*Throws hands in the air* It's all too hard! Could you gentlemen kindly flag your intent in your profiles please? Alongside body type preferences, please put preferences for paying - "Will always pay; Will split bill; don't want you to pay but would love to see your kitchen sometime ...." You get the drift.

Posted by: lapetitechou at November 23, 2009 8:06 PM

Posted by: simplegame at November 23, 2009 5:21 PM

Hey Bob ..... we get the message! After the 20th time it began to sink in :-)

When I say we get it ..... I mean we've heard it .... loud and clear. Some us don't actually GET it though.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 23, 2009 7:51 PM

Yay, good on you Bob, nothing like a good bloke with good manners.

Not a petty quibbling, can't make their mind up sort of judgemental person who is just so so so borish.

Posted by: iaminperth at November 23, 2009 6:30 PM

Hey Seekingspectacular,

I think what you are saying is good....not so much making a move...but showing interest...those subtle signals.

Hey Perthy,

To my old fashioned way of thinking, as the guy, I expect to take the woman out...and therefore fully prepared to pay for the date. If she offers...nice of her to do so, but really dont want her to. When I go out with a woman, I want her to feel a little special..regardless of how many dates we have had..or the relationship we have formed.

Bob

Posted by: simplegame at November 23, 2009 5:21 PM

I think it's like anything, it's just horses for courses. Personally I like a guy with good manners and knows who he is with some good old fashioned solid values. By the same token I am very aware of how much everything costs in dollar value nowadays so I certainly don't expect him to be burdeoned with the cost of all entertainment. Can't stand petty and nit picky little men though and couldn't be bothered if someone was going to quibble about who pays this and who pays that.

It's very easy to work things out without having huge discussions in the initial stages.

Posted by: iaminperth at November 23, 2009 4:08 PM

Posted by: seekingspectacular at November 23, 2009 2:47 PM wrote:

"I really enjoy a man wooing me and to be honest, they enjoy it too."

And you know this because .......

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 23, 2009 3:41 PM

I never make the first move. Sure, I might give a man a look or a smile (or both!) and hopefully they get the hint, but I'd never walk up to a man and ask him out. By the same token, I never send kisses on here either. It's just the type of girl I am, perhaps a little traditional, but I really enjoy a man wooing me and to be honest, they enjoy it too.

In saying this, I think there is no problem with women sending kisses or asking men out on dates. For those who do, you're just different from me, and you're probably attracted to a different type of man than I am. There is nothing wrong with that. Isn't there supposed to be plenty of fish in the sea for all of us?

Posted by: seekingspectacular at November 23, 2009 2:47 PM

yup . . . surfing!

;)

Posted by: glitteringblue at November 22, 2009 11:04 PM

woman...? got me stuffed.

you know where i'm going ..:)

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at November 22, 2009 10:05 PM

Hey Glitter,

I agree...the woman does make the initial move....its subtle...showing interest, so the guy doesn't feel like he is rushing her into something.

It might sound a bit wimpish...but I always let the woman run the show.....showing her respect (I will show interest, but not move on her); so that she wont feel that she putting herself out there and there may not be an interest.

Again though...I'm a pretty dumb bastard when it comes picking up signal...wheres that club!!!

Bob

Posted by: simplegame at November 22, 2009 7:53 PM

At first I don't expect the man to make the moves.

I actually think it's the woman who decides.

People will disagree with me on this and maybe they are right.

Sometimes the woman chooses wrong. Sometimes the man takes up the lead with the wrong woman, and timing is a factor . . .who knows . . . is it up to fate anyway? - do we just get one or two chances? - what is even in our control? - humans are so conceited!

So, the woman lays down her arms (in terms of defenses) and allows the man to move in. . . he will know when it's okay - a woman usually makes it clear (hopefully).

Then, it's up to the man to move. If he waits, if he hesitates (and she will give him a few opportunities), he will miss his chance and she will drop the rope and lose the connection, especially the older the woman, as she realises time is of the essence in life. She also realises - maybe he's just not that into you . . . and moves on. It is her self preservation reflex.

Women are intuitive/emotional beings - I think we all know that. Not that they cannot or do not work in the logical and factual world. But a woman has to believe in you, trust you, have faith in you and have a vision. If that is destroyed or falls in the first stages of a romance/dating - then it will be hard to move forward.

Yes, it's more than fine (in fact it is well known in history) that a woman chooses the man and makes the first move - after that - it's all up to the man.

My 2 cents.

Love Glitter xo

Posted by: glitteringblue at November 22, 2009 6:41 PM

Well thanks for your honesty phillipev. In no way did I intend or think my profile was negative or man bashing.Just my poor attempt at humour I guess. As a result, I have modified it (for the umpteenth time!) Let me know what you think. I still have not changed my opionion of RSVP. It is a really tough way to try and meet someone. Good luck with your search.
Thankyou for your support almost perfect4u. Its good to know I'm not the only one having trouble out there. Good luck.

Posted by: whatthe66 at November 22, 2009 4:49 PM

Women usually lead the man into making the first move anyway. If he doesn't make a move, a woman will usually act in a way so that he will realise she is interested and make a move. If he does not react and does not make a move, he is either incredibly stupid and it would not have worked anyway, or is simple not interested himself.

Posted by: shrinkingviolet0101 at November 21, 2009 11:15 PM

Posted by: simplegame at November 21, 2009 12:21 AM

Actually it's called learning from your mistakes and developing as a person. If we don't develop then we haven't learned anything.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 21, 2009 6:03 PM

Yes Bob, fun and games, trying our luck to fit with someone but not seriously driven of dreams may come true,..' often not ...:))

Posted by: cattleyaorchids at November 21, 2009 12:35 PM

Hey Lizzie,

Stop lurking.....I know you are there living vicariously through us poor tormented (or is that demented) desperados:)))

Cant live with us....cant laugh without us!!!

Boof xx

Posted by: simplegame at November 21, 2009 11:43 AM

We must be here because in some ways we choose to be :-)

Posted by: ali1974 at November 21, 2009 11:35 AM

Hey guys,

Do you realise how absolutely insane it is to be receiving dating advice from us here on RSVP...as if we had any clues!! If we did...why the hell are we here?

Bob

Posted by: simplegame at November 21, 2009 12:21 AM

To whatthe66. Men are not put off by either the kids or by you being a widow. I viewed your profile some time ago and yes you are very attractive. Being brutally honest, what didn't attract me was the tone of what you had written. You came across as someone that was having a really negative time. You sounded frustrated, annoyed even, with both men and RSVP. Get smart; write a profile that celebrates YOU! Something that sells yourself truthfully and positively. Don't put men down or put conditions on them. No bloke will respond. RSVP is a game, but it gets you into the ballpark. Your profile is a dating C.V. It's all that we have got to go by, so at least make yourself sound like someone we would really love to be with. Regarding your choice not to send kisses. You may like to reconsider that. Think about it. Youre waiting to be chosen by someone else. Thats just setting yourself up to be a victim. There is NO issue with females sending kisses. I hope you get your man, whathe66.

Posted by: phillipev at November 20, 2009 6:15 PM

Hey Steph, yes, clear photos will help :-) and ones with a smile too. I like that you used bullet point style - I noticed that quite a few guys use that style, so it'll help make it easier to read.
Ali
:-)

Posted by: ali1974 at November 20, 2009 6:06 PM

Thanks to everybody for their input (sounds like a team meeting). lol. I will take another bash at it in a few days. Big family get-together this weekend taking priority. I might even leave you all on the blogs! -- maybe we should hold an RSVP bloggers get-together in each capital city??? Or a few of you old-timers (thats in RSVP experience not age) could do an RSVP friends roadshow (a la Dr Phil)!!!!! -- Steph :) (PS - the capitals were really to denote headings. Totally forgot that CAPS were not chat etiquette.) -- PPS have gone from no photos, to some photos but now you want clear ones... picky picky!!!! :-)

Posted by: sl1970 at November 20, 2009 3:07 PM

I'm still waiting for someone to make a move on me. Lucky I'm patient, that's all I can say.

Enjoy your weekends.
Climbing bridges .... or mountains (cheers Bob) (:-))

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 20, 2009 2:38 PM

Xarisma and Ootfp --- re Kurli's comments Nov18 about 5pm:

I worded my comment badly....I meant to say that I find that many MALES of my age group seem to have a problem with the woman making the first (tentative) step.
And YES it their option to say "Thanks but no thanks", as it's also mine.

Read Sl1970 @11.54 on the 19... she sings it so well! (big wink to sl1970)

SG....you'll never worry me,you're such a nice guy Put your new hat on &.don't get sunburned in the heat down your way or they will keep you in Taronga (hugs 4 U)
TGIF

Posted by: kurli at November 20, 2009 12:55 PM

The Story Bridge is a good climb. I did it years before it was legal.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 20, 2009 9:54 AM

Posted by: iaminperth at November 19, 2009 10:54 PM

I agree about the capital letters ..... good point, I dislike them.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 20, 2009 8:59 AM

Hey Steph, pretty witty profile, I take it you like chocolate!! Just be you, who cares about a typo, this is not a job application! As for the bridge, I did Sydney Harbour, then the Sydney Tower and more recently stood with my nose against the glass on the 77th floor of Q1. Awesome. The Story Bridge is supposed to be shorter but steeper that the Harbour which was incredible, went up in the arvo, saw the sun set and came down in the dark, best time to catch this one is to book a 3pm in May, you get it all. Next year I want to do the Grand Canyon walk - now that will be incredible. My 40th was in the Barossa with close friends, very boozy.

Awww Virgo misses us..... you were supposed to be at work this morning, wicked girl, Alove x

Posted by: aloveoflife at November 19, 2009 11:29 PM

Sl, The profile is revolting. One minute you are shouting at people with the capital letters and the next minute nothing. It's a shocker and comes across as very aggressive. You don't need capitals, they are considered shouting in cyberspeak. Just say what you like and dislike and what you would like to achieve and who you would like to meet.

I think what you are saying is perfectly good but th way you are saying it comes across dogmatic and aggressive. Tone it down a bit. Not nice at all. Just my thoughts and discard if you like, but maybe at least have a little look.

Woody won't give you an objective opinion, he is not capable.

Posted by: iaminperth at November 19, 2009 10:54 PM

Posted by: sl1970 at November 19, 2009 8:35 PM

Your profile isn't too long but there is a bad typo in the first para (in your comment about your body) and the comment about having no stamps and not intending to get any wll put many off. Better photos would help .... just ask a friend to take one.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 19, 2009 9:53 PM

Posted by: venturess007 at November 19, 2009 8:21 PM

Just be honest, polite and respectful.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 19, 2009 9:45 PM

Posted by: sweetenuff67 at November 19, 2009 4:30 PM

That's the spirit!

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 19, 2009 9:39 PM

Hey Steph,

Read your profile....I like it, but then again, I have a seriously warped sense of the absurd. Might scare away a few of the faint-hearted...but I get the impression that faint-hearts are not your cup of tea....I Like your photos too, but dont hide yourself, you have a nice face.

I agree with you regarding dates....be straight to the point...honesty might hurt if it doesn't work out, but always the best policy.

Bob

Posted by: simplegame at November 19, 2009 9:18 PM

sl1970, Great profile and if it is too much for a guy to read, he is not worth the effort, or he can't read (maybe that has its benefits).

venturess007, upfront with honesty and preferably with the common courtesy of a phone call not email or text or even worse ignoring contact from said person.

Posted by: anordinaryfellow at November 19, 2009 9:18 PM

venturess007 -- I have had 2 dates. One drinks date and the other drinks/dinner date. In both instances, they sent me an sms the next morning saying thanks for nice night. Sms contact continued for a few days afterwards and then gradually it stopped. When their sms replies got fewer and further between, I decided to stop wasting my time (and phone credit) as apparently they were 'just not that into me'. Would be so much easier if guys (and girls) just tell you this (with dignity). I prefer straight forward talking even if I don't necessarily like what I am being told. Better that than being left to waste your time wondering what happened or wiching that their RSVP profile would spontaneously combust. lol.

Posted by: sl1970 at November 19, 2009 9:02 PM

Evening all :) :)
I have extended my profile and added Likes, Beliefs and Dislike to the mix (thought that adding this info adds a bit more insight to me). -- After 24 hours waiting for it to be changed (no comment), I am now wondering if it too much for guys to read. --- If any of you lovely bloggers (male or female) have a spare 1/2 hour (!) and want a break from blogging, can you take a look and let me know if it is much too much to read or reveal (even before the 1st kiss/email/coffee/date). TIA, Steph (PS: pwd = ihatephotos)

Posted by: sl1970 at November 19, 2009 8:35 PM

Hi, have gotten a lot from reading the threads, it's a big world out there..with a lot of different expectations, feel like i'm the teeeny tiny fish..i have no photo up..shy..have had numerous kisses and emails...2 have lead to 'the meeing' ie the ''visual'.anticipation is high after 2 weeks..all works for me. I have no prob sending kisses/hugs etc. But here is the rub..how do you end it if it all falls in a heap after a short interlude with dignity intact all around??? Must be someone out there with advice...somewhere...emphasis is on dignity!!

Posted by: venturess007 at November 19, 2009 8:21 PM

isadore@ 7.21pm;
TY for the comment......as for my age bracket.. you got it on one ! (smiles)
But hey! it is good to be acknowledged by younger people......and I really think that lack of etiquette or general respect is sadly lacking in all age levels & society in general.

Posted by: kurli at November 19, 2009 7:53 PM

PS Kurli stick with it...some men and women have no manners or etiquette or general respect for anyone else on RSVP...except satisfying their own ego's.

Thankfully they are few and far between.

Remember thats about who 'they are'...not who you are.

I sussed out your photos and your profile. Good on you for getting stuck in and having a great profile...you might be a tad too lively for your age bracket though!

Posted by: isidore at November 19, 2009 7:21 PM

Hi Folks

Equality is only meant to embrace the inequities on the female side roundmidnightm...thought you knew that ;)

Thing is 'real' authentic equality is much, much more than whats about at the moment...

Thats another discussion!...and hey in the overall scheme of life on the planet we are in the first few minutes of it anyway..

But lets deal with facts. Facts are women get more interest. Facts are women can send kisses and expect a male to message them.

Personally I don't mind that at all. I like that approach as a male you are given an 'invitation' an 'opportunity' to email her..or at least send her a photo Why would a woman email when in so many cases she is inundated with kisses and emails from other men?

When I get a kiss from a woman i'm flattered! But the rest is up to me..and I like it that way :)

Posted by: isidore at November 19, 2009 7:04 PM

Hey Steph,

You got a Kiss for me...and thats the highlight of your week and the best action....I am so very, very sorry....I didn't realise that life was THAT shitty:))))

You didn't give me your password though; so cant look at the dodgy photos:)) Hey Steph...I'm not gay...but my boyfriend is!!

Bob

Posted by: simplegame at November 19, 2009 5:56 PM

Hey Lizzie,

What are you doing on here...you've got you Mr Spesh....bugger off and leave the rest of us poor sad bastards to bitch and moan amongst ourselves:))))....go on, go on...dont let the door hit you in the arse on the way out:))))

Your dear mate

Boof xx

Posted by: simplegame at November 19, 2009 5:53 PM

SG212.29am:
Your comments don't throw me one iota.I just have such "good luck", that IF I was game enough for a bungee jump,the rotten strap would BREAK. lol

Ootfp@11.41pm: I've tried both primary kisses following up with emails, at "his" request ---.and as for replies Nada Zip zilch!!
If someone replies positively to a" Kurli kiss" I am more than happy to send email to him.
Both sexes are guilty of what amounts to BAD MANNERS........or are they just collecting scalps ????

Posted by: kurli at November 19, 2009 5:03 PM

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 19, 2009 2:47 PM

I can manage clues..even can make the moves and hold is hand...just cant do the "pucker up baby" stuff :)

Now notes i hadnt thought about...i think the modern day version of that would be a text ...so i will consider texting him when i pop to the bathroom ha ha...

Posted by: sweetenuff67 at November 19, 2009 4:30 PM

Posted by: sweetenuff67 at November 19, 2009 1:03 PM

Then just make sure you give him a few clues as to what you'd like to happen. I prefer a woamn to hand me a note, then there can be no confusion. :-)

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 19, 2009 2:47 PM

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 19, 2009 11:41 AM

I use firefox...only have the occassional logon issue.

And, i am happy to send kisses..and emails...don't always get a reply though.

Not so comfortable making the "moves" on a date though...gotta let the bloke do something!! :)

Posted by: sweetenuff67 at November 19, 2009 1:03 PM

Posted by: roundmidnightm at November 19, 2009 12:48 AM

Good comments. I've had women take the initiative but it's still rare. A lot seem to think it's OK to send kisses but not emails. Hey girls, stamps really aren't that expensive! If you send a kiss, be prepared to send an email. The guy you're interested in could just turn out to be the love of your life ...... missed for the cost of a stamp?

By the way, it seems impossible to log on using Firefox .... has anyone else found that?

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 19, 2009 11:41 AM

Just took a quick look to see what you lot are up to.....

You all make me smile and laugh so much...:)))

Virgo...xoxoxo

Posted by: virgowoman2 at November 19, 2009 9:54 AM

I am very surprised that women on this site still think that men should always make the first move. Whilst you all seem to espouse 'equality' in other areas - seems that this is the last bastion of inequality.
There was also a post some time ago that men should send the first kiss.
The above being the case and taking all this to its 'illogical' conclusion- should there be a
different price structure for Female members , as they would not be as active on the site?
What about being 'in tune' with what's happening, and make the first move if it 'feels' right?
Sometimes it feels like the women's movement did all their work for nix.

Posted by: roundmidnightm at November 19, 2009 12:48 AM

Hey Alove,

I bought a new hat.....that should get me out of Taronga!! I dont throw just anyone of the bridge, you know....I do have some ethics:))

Hey Kurli,

Dont let my comments throw you...I'm having fun at my own expense...but still having fun

bob

Posted by: simplegame at November 19, 2009 12:29 AM

*sings badly* a kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh, but stamps can lead to emails, chats, coffees and goodbyes....

Posted by: sl1970 at November 18, 2009 11:54 PM

I haven't climbed any of the bridges. Will see what aloveoflife thinks of the Story bridge climb. Have had to scale back my plans for celebrating my 40th overseas. Might go climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge instead. -- Steph

Posted by: sl1970 at November 18, 2009 11:50 PM

woohooo I got a kiss from Bob! Best action I have had all week (only action I have had all week lol). Now I can just moan and bitch that all the good men are taken or gay or too old for me!!! :-):)

Posted by: sl1970 at November 18, 2009 11:46 PM

Xarisma.....my generation does not take easily to the female taking the iniative.... Trust me, I have learned that the hard way!

M

Posted by kurli at
Then all I can say is .... welcome to our world.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 18, 2009 11:35 PM

Hi folks

Good comments there Xarisma.

Outofthefryingpan no I don't write legal documents for a living...I cringe at some of my 'clinical' suggestions btw...but what do you do when you are trying to 'communicate' with mere words and profiles and the associated values/beliefs/opinions/attitudes that are so subjective to all of us when reading just 'words'?

And on the kids comment; Yes it is a big big ask for both genders to take on a partner with kids...particularly if that person has made choices (like myself) to never have kids.
I find the divide/differences between women who have had kids to those who haven't quite marked....'generally' speaking.
'One' issue is the fact that 'some' women with kids are more 'mothers' than 'partners'...or more to the point, they have lost a sense of themselves, their sexuality, their needs to fully embrace motherhood.

While thats commendable in the motherhood stakes...it isnt all that attractive to 'some' guys out there....i'm one of them.

Its a massive responsibility for a man to walk into a situation where there are kids involved and the associated issues (blended families and ex partner issues etc etc).

I'm guessing though that there are more people out there 'with kids' in their 40's than those like myself without them....so ironically it goes both ways re the challenges in finding a suitable partner in your age bracket with similar lifestyle ideas.

Makes it interesting though!

Posted by: isidore at November 18, 2009 10:20 PM

SG/Bob...I was told that YOU would push me off the bridge!! lol
I would LOVE to meet you,coz I get POed at the way you denigrate yourself.
NOBODY (except me) can be that hopeless.

Keep the faith honey.........

Xarisma.....my generation does not take easily to the female taking the iniative.... Trust me, I have learned that the hard way!

M

Posted by: kurli at November 18, 2009 9:57 PM

Kurli, not the Gateway but Sydney Harbour Bridge, I'm not worried about that one as I've done the climb and it's fantastic, will be doing the Story Bridge in January too. Haven't done bungee but it is on my bucket list.

Yeah Bob, I feel honoured (I think ??) to be the only one you want to turf off the bridge, but you still gotta get out the Taronga Zoo to do it!!

Posted by: aloveoflife at November 18, 2009 9:45 PM

A lot of women still do expect men to take the initiative,but in this day and age, maybe they should not ,there is a new generation or two that have grown up in equality and single parent families so there are a lot of mixed messages out there on the dating seen,it depends on the chemistry guys and gals, without putting labels on people and consider me a little old school, the gals flirt and the guys initiate contact.

Posted by: xarisma at November 18, 2009 9:00 PM

Hey Steph,

I'll send you a kiss....so stop moaning and bitching....not a great offer; but shit happens:)))

Hey Alove,

Bridge is 'specially reserved for you....Kurli would probably have a bungee attached to her ankles anyway. Every girl that meets me is happy.....especially when I leave:)))

Bob

Posted by: simplegame at November 18, 2009 8:52 PM

alove@7.53pm:
At least allow me to get a parachute for base jumping,before Bob chucks me off the gateway Bridge........I'm too YOUNG to crash 'n burn!
lol
and I missed your earlier comment(17/11/ 6.34 pm)
Maybe I should have said that I dont wanna be Mrs Sheen! VBG

Posted by: kurli at November 18, 2009 8:31 PM

Posted by: kurli at November 17, 2009 12:17 PM

You are right Miss Kurli, a good smack across the chops is in order (sorry Bob), he is a lovely man, very thoughtful and kind, he will make someone a very happy girl when they both find each other. Bob I don't think you can chuck FG's Granno off the bridge!!

Posted by: aloveoflife at November 18, 2009 7:53 PM

just inches and inches of john west here lol. Well i added 2 dodgy gallery photos. that should keep them quiet for a while. prob get no kisses at all now!!! ----- I have 2 young kids 7 days on, 7 days off and I work part-time. If guys have a problem with that - their loss. :-)

Posted by: sl1970 at November 18, 2009 6:15 PM

Whattthe66.... hugs... I know exactly how you feel. I think it's the kids and let's face it the net really is a superficial way to meet people .. even in this day and age. There are the odd tales of success, but for the most part it's just kiss rejections and being ignored..... lucky we're self sufficient women :)
Wishing you all the best xo

Posted by: maybeperfect4u at November 18, 2009 3:20 PM

Posted by: whatthe66 at November 17, 2009 10:03 PM

Don't lose heart, you are an attractive woman. Some men in their late 40s may not feel they want to take on 3 children betwen 9 and 14 (did I get that right?) but to others it won't be a problem ..... you just have to wait for the right guy. I think to be fair it is a factor though.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 18, 2009 12:59 PM

Posted by: isidore at November 17, 2009 8:14 PM

Some of what you've written I have to agree with, some makes you sound like you write legal documents for a living :-)
Maybe part of the problem is the choice of kisses and kiss responses. I certainly think they could be more helpful in showing the other person what you have in mind/expect/intend.

I also find that different women have very different expectations (surprise, surprise). Some expect romance on the first date and almost take it as an offensive to their femininity if you don't go down that path at that speed, others think you're a sex maniac iff you try to kiss them after 3 or 4 dates. I guess it's just about trying to correctly read the other person and get to know them, but it's still confusing at times.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 18, 2009 12:50 PM

Being a mere male I tend to think along the "old school ways". I always respond to kisses etc whether in the positive or negative. Good manners cost nothing. First date? Have found it to be 50-50 on who makes the first move. However, have only actually met four ladies in my 12 months on RSVP. Who pays? Well I like to pay when we first meet, whether it is KFC, coffee or a pub/restaurant meal.

Posted by: bigtwain at November 18, 2009 12:45 PM

Posted by: sl1970 at November 17, 2009 7:04 PM

Yes, sometimes an inch can make all the difference ...... I've been told that :-)

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 18, 2009 12:43 PM

Posted by: sl1970 at November 17, 2009 6:55 PM

I thought the John West comment was very funny.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 18, 2009 12:42 PM

There really is quite a time delay on here isn't there? Kind of like the way my mind works ......

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 18, 2009 9:00 AM

I guess I'm a little old fashioned, but I really think it is only right that the guys make the first move. I kinda feel a little "desperate" if I do it. Not that I've had much action at all lately!! I'm finding this internet dating faceless,fake and cruel. I don't mean to bignote myself, but I can turn heads in the street and often attract looks and smiles from men. So why won't anyone give me a go on RSVP???? I have only dated 2 guys in 8 months-pathetic. I am widowed, is it that? I'd be really interested to hear if being widowed and having my kids full time is a turn off for guys.

Posted by: whatthe66 at November 17, 2009 10:03 PM

Perthie
Horses are to ride,not to dangle ! lol

Posted by: kurli at November 17, 2009 9:07 PM

Hi Folks

Online etiquette is subjective (thought i'd state the obvious right up front;)

Never met a woman the same. What works with one doesnt with another. Whats totally inappropriate for one woman is the exact opposite for another. I'm guessing guys are the same???

Ive been around long enough to see that a basic code of ethics and practice needs to be understood and applied...or a number of approaches that perhaps need to be chosen or stated up front.
Never thought i'd say that! ;)

Seriously, many of us are confused by the whole online process...its evolving and growing and all the more confusing.

Each profile should choose a deliberate model of practice (say from a selection of options..or clearly delineate their preferred approach) and state how they would like to approach the online dating scene.

Its fine to (for example) say men should make the first move. I think though that women (too) need to be more proactive and state EXACTLY what they want...or more to the point the sort of approach they would prefer.

Some treat the first meeting as a 'chat' (like me) others as a 'date'...and heaven forbid...some see it as something much much more!!!!

So, RSVP perhaps needs to revisit 'the how' of profiles and start 'thinking' about creating a site that is somewhat more communicative/intuitive and clear in regards to individual dating approaches...

'Ideal partner' criteria doesnt cut the mustard.

CLEAR terms need to be delineated like CHAT and DATE...and clear definitions of both....to avoid confusion on that first meeting (for example)

Yep...think its time we moved into 2010 with a more sophisticated RSVP site folks.

'Fundamentally' the database hasnt changed much at all....much improvement needed.

Any further thoughts on this?

Posted by: isidore at November 17, 2009 8:14 PM

I have sent smiles (prefer that to sending kisses) to guys with or without photos. If I find the profile uninteresting, boring or totally egotistical etc, a good looking photo won't make me change my mind. --- Looks aren't the end all and be all to me. But I must admit to having a thing for taller men (I am 5'8"). My dad and 2 brothers are over 6ft tall. Both ex-hubbys were over 6'3". My preference is 6ft tall + but I will go down to 5'11" if I have to. :-)

Posted by: sl1970 at November 17, 2009 7:04 PM

outofthefryingpan --- besides the fact that i hate pics of me :-) I have tried 3 times to put a photo up, but RSVP rejected all of them (beginning to feel just like the the fish that john west rejects!!). Two were webcam shots and weren't that great (a bit yellow etc) but I thought they were better than nothing. Mind you, I have seen a few similar type webcam shots of guys which were allowed. So maybe RSVP just hates my (!) or there is 1 rule for blokes and 1 for gals. The other pic I couldn't cut enough of my daughter out of the photo so that failed the test too.--- hope to put a current pic up soon. Don't think it is worth putting old ones up. Maybe I should use this year's Halloween photo - me as witch with a green face!!!!!! ---- Steph

Posted by: sl1970 at November 17, 2009 6:55 PM

Kurli, it's your lovely photos, such a glamour girl!! Very swish indeed, I think with those photo's you'll be number 3!!

Posted by: aloveoflife at November 17, 2009 6:34 PM

I'm picking up that the 'first move' being referenced in the blogs may mean different things to different people. I consider first move as simple as indicating interest whether it be by a statement or asking the other person out for a coffee.
So in response to unknown's question [Is that classed as the first move? November 17, 2009 11:56 AM]. Yes, I think the first move was made at the point that either you or your date indicated interest. yay! Hope you enjoyed the date and have many more.
Ali
:-)

Posted by: ali1974 at November 17, 2009 5:51 PM

Hey Kurli,

Dont get too excited about my comments...I have a very well developed self-deprecating sense of humour...if you cant put shit on yourself, who else is there?:))

I'm a great guy...believe me...I know I have great attributes like, kindness, generosity, honesty etc. I may have missed out on the girl of my dreams...but you know what; she missed out on a great guy too...but thats life!!

Bob

Posted by: simplegame at November 17, 2009 5:37 PM

Hey Steph,

No offence taken...I cant change my age; just have a good attitude to life...which I have.

By the way...I have been on about 3 dates sight unseen.....all very nice women. I think people get wary about no photos because experiences on here tend to say that people will describe themselves one way...but someone completely different fronts. If I see someone without a photo whose proflie reads interesting and I get a "feel" for her; I will send her a kiss...I too was on here for months without a photo...never was a problem.

Hi Wisegirl,

Making that first move can be daunting only if you like someone, but are not sure that you are what they might be seeking. If travel is your big deal on your profile; pointless me contacting you, as its not something high on my agenda.

As far as emailing and no reply....cant get by ignorance and probably better off not having to waste further time on those people anyway.

Bob

Posted by: simplegame at November 17, 2009 5:29 PM

Maybe you could have a curtain hoist Kurli with a couple of horses dangling off the ends. Then you would really be swish !

Posted by: iaminperth at November 17, 2009 2:28 PM

Posted by: unknownauthor at November 17, 2009 11:56 AM

No - I don't actually class that as the first move .... I just class that as getting to know eachother, although some would see instigating the contact as the very first move.

I think the ball is still in your court .... unless she wants to go for it. Good luck though.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 17, 2009 2:11 PM

I like it when a man makes the first move, but I've learnt to move with the times and technology. I'm comfortable making the initial contact but what really upsets me is the guys who ask you to write to them and then simply don't reply! It's the equivalent of making eye contact with a woman at a bar, asking her if she wants a drink, getting a yes, only to come back and see that she's gone! How does that feel?!!! It's happened too many times so I am now reluctant to email anyone. If you're thinking it might be what I've said, believe me, I have not said anything too personal or confronting.

Posted by: wisegirl at November 17, 2009 1:26 PM

I took a very dear male friend of mine some beautiful fragrant roses when he was hospitalised for a short time recently. The amount of people who came out with things like 'I didn't know men got flowers' etc.

My friend said they were beautiful and every morning he woke to their beautiful fragrance and he absolutely loved them.

Posted by: iaminperth at November 17, 2009 1:16 PM

Who knows whether it is classed as first move or not. It's just great and I hope you had an enjoyable time together.

So many people have so many rules and regulations nowadays. How can anyone in their right mind bicker over the price of a cup of coffee for heavens sake.

If a guy said to me we'll each pay for our own coffee I would definitely pay for both and think afterwards, how pathetic can you get !!

I think it is all irrelevant though because if someone is so stingy and closed that would be picked up in previous correspondence and you wouldn't meet in the first place.

I think a lot of people put all these rules and regulations together in their own heads as they have control issues.

I still think most guys like to be gentlemen and get a kick out of opening the car doors at times and paying for a special night out.

Posted by: iaminperth at November 17, 2009 1:10 PM

A love I feel like a curtain cleaner being called Miss Swish :-)
Yes ! Virgo is happy..next YOU; Maybe: then our dear SG/Bob !
I get so cross with him the way he continually puts himself "down".I'll have to give him a good talking-to (hehe)
OOthe pan! I agree.no photo NO contact

Posted by: kurli at November 17, 2009 12:17 PM

A love I feel like a curtain cleaner being called Miss Swish :-)
Yes ! Virgo is happy..next YOU; Maybe: then our dear SG/Bob !
I get so cross with him the way he continually puts himself "down".I'll have to give him a good talking-to (hehe)
OOthe pan! I agree.no photo NO contact

Posted by: kurli at November 17, 2009 12:16 PM

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 17, 2009 10:59 AM

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 17, 2009 10:56 AM

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 17, 2009 10:55 AM

All very good points. It all comes down to political correctness gone wrong. What was expected years ago isnt any more. The rules have changed, as has the playing field. I went on a coffee date No1 last night. Lovely lady, have been conversing for about 2 months on another site. It was just coffee and a beer for me and a red for her. 1 1/2 hrs I paid. Its what I have always done.
Is that classed as the first move?

( Its not Beige is it )

Posted by: unknownauthor at November 17, 2009 11:56 AM

I agree insomuch if you are asking another person to make contact you definitely need a photo or two. If you are the one instigating the first contact then maybe could chat a little first and see how it all goes.

However, asking another person to make contact with no photo is a bit much. I certainly don't think the photo is all about perfect features but more about, just how you look overall.

Of course, coming from someone whose photo is four years old is really hypocritical but I do have others. And I actually have some makeup on in the new and not covered in puppy goober !

Posted by: iaminperth at November 17, 2009 11:51 AM

Posted by: sl1970 at November 16, 2009 11:16 PM

Can I ask why you don't have a photo? Instead of wording into your text that you don't have a photo, why not just put one up? If you're shy, put a password on it. Personally, I don't like it when people contact me but don't have a photo .... particularly if they ask me to make the contact. What's that about?

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 17, 2009 10:59 AM

Posted by: ali1974 at November 16, 2009 6:51 PM

Then I suggest you make sure you're good at giving out signals.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 17, 2009 10:56 AM

Posted by: feelgood76 at November 16, 2009 11:30 AM

Feelgood .... I think a man should usually make the first move but then I think the woman should make the 2nd move so he at least knows he's on the right track.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 17, 2009 10:55 AM

Hey Kurli (Miss Swish) and Perthy, I am now breathing normally again, isn't it such lovely news to hear that Virgo has met someone so special, she is a beautiful soul and deserves lovely times.

Posted by: aloveoflife at November 16, 2009 11:41 PM

Simplegame/Bob - I am with you on that one! Why can't both sides just say if they are interested or not? Would save lots of timewasting! I am beginning to think that I need an older man's wisdom in a slighter younger man's head (no offence).

Steph

Posted by: sl1970 at November 16, 2009 11:23 PM

I have made the 1st and subsequent moves before (incl asking 2nd husband to marry me) but no need to go into how that turned out!!! On RSVP I am not shy in sending out kisses. I also try to reply to all kisses I receive. Exceptions to the rule so far are due to the fact that I currently do not have a photo. So when asked for a photo and/or password, I have no way to advise the sender that I don't have one (might have to go put that on my profile text instead).

I have had 2 first dates so far but no 2nd dates. C'est la vie! The search continues!...

Posted by: sl1970 at November 16, 2009 11:16 PM

Elevatormusic - just wanted to say that your profile is a good read. Loved the bit about the library card. It was also interesting to see what people were doing on the 11/11/09 at 11am - posting comments on RSVP!

Posted by: sl1970 at November 16, 2009 11:07 PM

Hey Ali,

I think most women want a man to make the first move....to show that she is attractive to him.

I'm an old fashioned sort of guy, so I will always show a girl I think shes attractive...even if it is saying it straight out. Still, wish I could read that stupid body language though....sucks!!!:))

Bob

Posted by: simplegame at November 16, 2009 8:44 PM

Hey FG, Oney would probably tell us that it's equal opportunity for both genders to approach and it shouldn't make a difference...can only assume as she's not here.
I miss her comments...
Ali
:-)

Posted by: ali1974 at November 16, 2009 6:55 PM

welcome forunity
:-)

Posted by: ali1974 at November 16, 2009 6:53 PM

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 14, 2009 8:45 PM
Don't forget it's 2009 ... isn't it?
---
Yep, for another month and a half it will still be 2009. I'm assuming you're referring to my preference for a guy to make the first move?? If so, well that's my preference...regardless of what year it is...even when it becomes 2010 that will still be my preference...that's part of me and what I like. It doesn't mean I haven't made the first move in the past (albeit rarely), but I do prefer the guy to make it.
Ali
:-)

Posted by: ali1974 at November 16, 2009 6:51 PM

Hi all

I think historically there has been the expectation for the guys to make the first move. Many woman i talk to often expect the male to advance her. Now days tho i think it's starting to turn around and lots of woman feel more comfortable asking a man on a date. If there is a connection on both sides does it really matter who asks first...?
I have found woman like the man to advance, showing he is interested in her. By the male advancing at the right time this can increase his chances to attracting a woman. Guys who sit on the fence do just that. It is very rare to have a woman approach a male asking for a date. Most woman are attracted to confident blokes and throughout the history of time this had been proven to be the case.

PS: I'm sure if Oney was here she'd have a thing or two to say about the matter.

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at November 16, 2009 11:30 AM

Hi all
Truth be told, it would make life THAT much easier if women did make the first move. Save me the nightmare of deciding whether or not this woman or that wants my attentions :)

Posted by: bt1977 at November 16, 2009 10:11 AM

I agree with Perth, Alove.don't BUST-----.just breathe in;
breathe out...you get the picture?
You were soooo GOOD not to tell all (grin)

The wedding AND Mr Spesh!! all is sweet for Virgo........and did I read Icy was SMILING!
I hope everyone's weekend went great.

Posted by: kurli at November 15, 2009 4:17 PM

Hi I am new to this but have seen a few men and I am confused lol
You have the first date and you text them and then another date and they are texting you every day and then nothing you text them and they might answer 10 hours later or not at all and then they start texting you again what signal is that ? Does it get any better ? I like the comment elevatormusic made about youll know if you have a decent man and he waits for you to decide Would you not think a woman was desperate if she contacted you ? Some would maybe. Thanks for the wonderful reading from everyone. Glad to know i'm not the only one who is a little disheartened.

Posted by: forunity at November 15, 2009 3:49 PM

As a male, am I expected to make the first move? Well, my experience in dating sites tells me that it's a resounding yes.

And yes, that means that all ladies need to understand we actually spent REAL money and actually RE-purchasing our stamps just for the sake of making contact.

From there, the ladies will simply judge you, at their leisure, on one of three possibilities - a yes, a no, or just 'open-for-friendship'.

There's no such thing as 'miracles-waiting-to-happen' in dating sites.....

Posted by: musicg at November 15, 2009 1:06 PM

Posted by: kurli at November 13, 2009 4:45 PM

Hey Kurli ... don't steal my thunder. Or at least my small sound on the horizon.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 14, 2009 8:54 PM

Posted by: iaminperth at November 13, 2009 12:26 AM

Thanks sweetie. You are a gem.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 14, 2009 8:50 PM

Posted by: simplegame at November 12, 2009 11:20 PM

Geez Bob ... wish I'd known that last night .... now you tell me.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 14, 2009 8:49 PM

Posted by: ali1974 at November 12, 2009 9:23 PM

I lose my thoughts all the time. It's called ...... age.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 14, 2009 8:48 PM

Posted by: ali1974 at November 12, 2009 9:21 PM

Great point Ali. When you get the answer, please let me know because I have no idea either. Waiting, waiting .....

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 14, 2009 8:47 PM

Posted by: ali1974 at November 12, 2009 9:20 PM

Don't forget it's 2009 ... isn't it?

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 14, 2009 8:45 PM

Posted by: simplegame at November 12, 2009 5:11 PM

Hey Bob .... they may not want to ditch you. They may want to make the first move man. Whoa .....

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at November 14, 2009 8:44 PM

This is interesting, as I do believe I like the guy to make the first move, yet in my last relationship I had to make the first move because he was too shy to. And I scared him. Or so he said. I dont think I'm scary... LOL

Posted by: wanttobelieveinlove at November 14, 2009 8:26 PM

Oh no Alove, don't burst, start to breath. Did you ever think about whether men should make the first move. I am assuming ask you out for the first date. I guess I have to say yes, I did expect that. I have no idea why, conditioning I guess. I have no hesitation asking second time around. I think maybe it's an age thing. Although never really thought about it before. It's good though because really nowadays there is no reason why you can't ask a guy out.

Posted by: iaminperth at November 14, 2009 6:29 PM

Ok Maybe, just read, My date wants a relationship blog, my dear friend Virgo has spilled the beans there, whew I can breathe now - my lips were sealed but were at bursting point. I'm thrilled for her.....

To the moon, around the stars and past the milky way Virgo xxx Alove!

Posted by: aloveoflife at November 13, 2009 9:04 PM

Maybe, caught up with our Virgo yesterday, she's really well, as her Sunny Jim says, she's taking care of business ;-)

Posted by: aloveoflife at November 13, 2009 9:00 PM

have a brilliant weekend everyone...
:-)

Posted by: ali1974 at November 13, 2009 7:36 PM

heehee Bob, if signals include looking into each other's eyes for 10-seconds, touch the arm then my physio and i are about to have some fun!!! (given there's mnore than just that goin' on ;-))
yippeeeeee!!!!
Ali
xo

Posted by: ali1974 at November 13, 2009 7:33 PM

Signals that would work with us guys?
Maybe neon and flashing. Ahh...thats a flashing neon sign, the straight flashing is a bit too forward.

ali1974, the club would work too. Can't hurt too much, does it?

Posted by: anordinaryfellow at November 13, 2009 7:22 PM

allyon @11,32am 'Maybe you didnt tick the YES when you PREVIEW before posting !
If you post direct without preview,you will automatically be signed out is my experience.

TGIF!

Posted by: kurli at November 13, 2009 6:21 PM

maybe4u @8.09am.
Funny about going invisible.
Maybe we should all try it out at the same time.
perthie: I thought that maybe I had jumped from frying pan (NO not him) into the fire..am just about ready to retire from this dating scene

FG glad to hear Mum is fine...any pics yet?

Posted by: kurli at November 13, 2009 4:45 PM

Hi maybe..., Mum is on business..:) got a text from her today she's fine.

Well Ali, i think slowly i'm getting the hang of this dating game. Took me along time to work it out, but now i'm half way there. My advice just look deep into his eyes and make your own mind up. I was hopeless at seeing the signs but if you stop and take the time to look they are there.
Basically look for a gunine smile and don't waste time on the fake ones...
Stick at it.., look at Icy..:)

gotta run.. later babe,

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at November 13, 2009 3:50 PM

Seems you DO have to sign in 5 times before you can post... sigh....
My 5 cent's worth... as an "independant modern woman" (!) I dont have any problem with the concept of making the first move, but I will only attempt that with a guy who seems to be secure enough within himself to handle it. Guys who are traditionalist or overly macho (not that I would be spending time with anyone overly macho, mind you!) dont seem to be as self assured....
Its not all about the first move either. I come across as "aggressive" because I have a brain in my head and I know how to use it... That's really frustrating, especially considering that deep down inside I am just another domestic goddess looking for her special someone... Oh well, back to the drawing board, there goes another one....

Posted by: allyonapally at November 13, 2009 11:32 AM

Mystery... seems men like it... made my photos password protected, never had so many Kiss Ins before... asking to see said photos.

Pity they don't translate to any emails.... ahhh the fickle and shallow .....

Where oh where is Virgo?????????

Posted by: maybeperfect4u at November 13, 2009 8:09 AM

Ha ha go Kurli, You said it all. Most of them are so up themselves they can't see daylight. And the dopey frying pan, I just wish someone would just hit him over the head with it. Probably wouldn't even make a dent though he's so thick!

Posted by: iaminperth at November 13, 2009 12:26 AM

Hey Ali,

If you ever meet me....bring the club!!! I think its rather funny...I can pick out anytime if a guy and/or girl are interested in each other....but have no clues wen it comes to myself:)))

Signals I have been told about are looking into the eyes for more than 10 seconds, touching the arm, or hand, during conversation, flick of the hair etc; etc....buggered if I know though

Bob

Posted by: simplegame at November 12, 2009 11:20 PM

average bloke 09.......you are a breath of fresh air in this rarified mob of "wankers"
In my humble opinion,too much nit picking and navel gazing occurs on this site (Kurli ducks for cover from the LARGE artillery VBG)
I sincerely hope you find WHO you are searching for.........
Keep the faith!!

Posted by: kurli at November 12, 2009 10:56 PM

fryingpan...yes...sometimes the blog sites here can be temperamental. Try writing your thoughts in notepad and then copy-paste across - then you'll never lose your thoughts
:-)

Posted by: ali1974 at November 12, 2009 9:23 PM

Hey Elevatormusic, some guys say they didn't realise the girl was sending out signals and some girls are confused why they (guys) don't pick up on their signals...so what are the 'signals' to send out that guys will understand or read (that don't involve get the stick out and clubbing guys over the head)?
I wouldn't mind a few tips so i can figure out what's not working for me.
Ali
:-)

Posted by: ali1974 at November 12, 2009 9:21 PM

Personally I prefer the guy to make the first move.
Ali
:-)

Posted by: ali1974 at November 12, 2009 9:20 PM

Posted by: averagebloke09 at November 12, 2009 2:17 AM

I really liked your comments and your profile.

Posted by: diditforlove at November 12, 2009 7:38 PM

Hey All,

If someone writes