RSVP Blog

I'm a typical guy when it comes to phone conversations- I like to keep them short, to the point and for a specific purpose i.e. what time are we meeting?

However, I realise it's to my own detriment, as women generally like long conversations, but, once the purpose of the call has been established and discussed, I just can't think of anything else to say, lol.

Having said that, my preference is for face-to-face conversations. Not only is it so much easier (if physical distance isn't an issue), but, it's alot more personal.

Posted by: justlookin2012 at September 16, 2011 8:04 PM

I just want to warn people to be careful of the fake people aswell on here, I have been tricked and really hurt from a male and he is still on here and will do it again, I should of had the warnings when he told me about his meeting of other people! Why do people ruin good sites like this.

Posted by: littlefavgirl at June 4, 2011 4:54 PM

I insist on emailing for a while and then I prefer to meet even before the call. An email tells a lot. If you cannot be bothered with it then I assume you are after just one thing (no thanks) or you are uneducated; so sorry we will not get along. Plus from a phone number one can be traced. I have had too many nutters in my life. I can be traced straight away from just my first name (not common and of course the pictures) so one has to be careful. Plenty of fish out there if you are too slack and a misogynist and not prepared to write.

Posted by: ubtrue at March 21, 2011 7:02 PM

First Telephone Disasters....uuummm. Had a few. One was when the guy told me all about his illnesses [very sorry for him but not a way to start] then when 1 guy talked so fast and furious that I couldn't get a word in edgewise and with me that's unusual...lol..for over 1 hr and I had called him on a mobile?[know he was just nervous but again not the way to go] Another where he mumbled so badly that I had to keep asking him to repeat himself and then there are the ones where they start with the very explicit suggestions right off the bat...whoa. Have had ones where it isn't really a conversation at all, just a means to set up a date and you wonder if they will be able to sustain a conversation for 10 mins let alone 2 hrs or so, though having said that I accept that some people do not feel comfortable with phone talk or computer mail. But I do feel that a chat on the phone helps to establish a lot more natural attraction between people than just emailing.
Careful Perthy saying how you like being single.... a potential partner may be reading and think it is not worth trying...I'm sure if the right one came along he would love cats and dogs just like you.
MsM09

Posted by: msmagnet09 at August 31, 2010 10:17 AM

That would be a good topic Mga. First telephone call disasters.

I'll start. I had been emailing back and forth, as you do, with a nice sort of guy. First telephone call: His last relationship which hadn't worked. He has a house to look after and, therefore, any future partner would need to realise that it would be one weekend at his house and one weekend at hers, oh okay. We wouldn't need to necessarily share a bed the first weekend and he would make sure when the time was right, uh huh.

He likes animals but wouldn't have one in the house because they make too much of a mess.

As I snugged up in my queen sized bed with two kittens keeping my feet warm and german shepherd happily snoozing keeping watch on her 'sheep' just outside my door, I thought my gosh, how lucky am I to be single.

What the !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: iaminperth at August 23, 2010 1:15 PM

It’s been interesting reading everyone’s comments.

I have recently put in my profile that I prefer to chat first (meaning online) for a little bit before meeting. It’s just the way I am. I’ve had a few experiences where I've handed out my number and I've been bombarded with calls and texts.

I've had one man phone me and start talking about marriage and having children, and it was the first time we'd ever spoken to each other over the phone. Sheesh talk about intense! We'd only had 2 IM chats before the phone call.

You definitely need to find out what the other person prefers, and you need to also tell them if their preferred form of contact is problem for you eg, they want to chat online and you are an atrocious speller, have dyslexia etc.

Posted by: mgaggie at August 20, 2010 5:33 PM

Hi there stargemini..sorry I never saw your post until very recently. Good to read your response also even though you have it seems, had only bad feedback from the site. I had a look at your profile and you say it like it is. You seem like a very sincere, straight forward person with no bs... Surely someone out there has similar interests to you? Even if you don't wish to spend out any more money you could leave your profile up, go away and forget about it. Just check in from time to time so your pic still gets viewed at times. Saves redoing it again at a later date if you decide to come back should you choose to leave. So much to fill out lol! From time to time I am sure you will receive a kiss or two anyway. I am on the verge of prob hiding my profile now although I still have a few qualms but only time will tell..smiles...Good luck to you too by the way, w hatever you decide...Sweetmix

Posted by: sweetmixture at July 27, 2010 3:26 PM

As far as chatting on the phone goes, I think it is imperative that both parties are happy and comfortable with the arrangement first.

A very previous kiss I received, led to the guy sending an email after I responded positively to his kiss. He emailed me and said he would prefer to chat on the phone right away. I replied to that and said my preference was email or the instant chat via RSVP until I felt I was more comfortable. He replied again and was adamant he wanted to use the phone and was oblivious to my concerns or preferences. Clearly this was a man used to getting his own way. Rolls my eyes!! I replied for the last time and said that I would not give my phone number out so quickly to anyone. That was the end of the communication. This guy was evidently not that interested as he took it no further and neither did I.

To give him the benefit of the doubt, which I always try to do..he may not have been too crash hot on the keyboard, in which case a little honesty may have been the way to go but even still, I would not have given my number out at that early stage.

Posted by: sweetmixture at July 24, 2010 11:31 AM

sweetmixture and eighteenfathoms. It is great how you commented on the issue. I also for one will be giving up as I am tired of being asked to send an email and not receiving the courtesy of a reply, be it negative or positive. Come on people, have some respect for your fellow members. Courtesy costs nothing!!

Anyway all the best to you both.Hope find what you are looking for. I joined the site joined last year, left soon after. I have now re-joined only to find very many of the same 'old' faces still here. Looks like nothing has changed over the past 6 months.

Posted by: stargemini at July 23, 2010 8:47 PM

Well..you know..my son-in law is a fantastic businessman and the word pessimist is the last word which comes to mind when I think of him..He weighs all the pros and cons when it comes to his business because he knows his trade well and allows for any pitfalls in certain areas, preparing accordingly. However I do see the point you are making with your comparisons regarding a pessimist versus an optimist.
When it is all boiled down..each person (optimist or pessimist) needs to find their own way when it comes to fulfillment and happiness in their respective lives. If not happy..one needs to determine why, then set some new goals and take the necessary steps to achieve them.

Posted by: sweetmixture at June 25, 2010 7:52 PM

Something to consider:

Pessimism: The term pessimism, derived from the Latin word for worst - pessimus, is defined as a state of mind, wherein a person's perception of life is predominantly marked by 'negativity'. These people feel that they are responsible for all the negative events happening to them. In simple words, pessimists are inclined towards highlighting the negativity in their life, while ignoring any positive signs they come across. As mentioned in the example given above, a pessimist is more likely to refer to a glass half filled with water as 'half empty', (the negative side), instead of referring to it to as 'half full', (positive side).

Optimism: Optimism, on the other hand, is a totally opposite state of mind, wherein the person's perception about life is predominantly marked by 'positivity'. In psychology, optimism is defined as a state on mind in which a person tends to think that the chances of things working in his favour are much more than the chances of things working against him. Optimists tend to relate all the positive things in life with their own efforts. Their view is always inclined towards the brighter side of life. This explains why they refer to a half filled glass of water as 'half full' instead of 'half empty'.

In some cases, being pessimistic can be an advantage in itself, while being optimistic can be a disadvantage. For instance, a pessimist businessman is more likely to take the worst case scenario into consideration, and take some precautionary measures to make sure that he is not caught unaware of approaching disaster. An optimist businessman though is more likely to assume that nothing bad can happen to him, and continue being carefree, until trouble itself knocks on the door. This also highlights the fact that being over-optimist can spell trouble for you.

Though going through pessimism vs optimism comparison might give a picture that both are opposites of each other, experts don't agree on it. Studies have also proved that having more of either doesn't necessarily mean you will have less of the other. This fact is also backed by the psychological definitions of pessimism and optimism, which state that the factors responsible for both are completely different. Taking that into consideration, it would be safe to say that the key to happiness lies in the middle when it comes to the battle of pessimism versus optimism.

Posted by: foodieatheart at June 24, 2010 1:33 PM

Hello Grego...sounds like you hit the jackpot with your lady and that's actually really good to hear..smiles...I really hope it continues to work out for you both....

I must admit "foodies" outlook on the whole situation is very full on regarding being suspicious of any new contact...I have never been that way and wrong or right continue to believe that the majority of people are good people with as many flaws to their characters as I have to mine....Yes, of course there will always be those who will take advantage of others..unfortunately that's human nature but I myself am an optimist who treats everyone the same unless or until I find a reason not to. I have met only one or two gameplayers and the rest of the guys have been decent people looking like me, for that special someone to whom they can relate on the levels which are important to them.

We are all unique individuals and many different things motivate each of us but I would hate to live my life by viewing every new person I meet in a suspicious way..if that makes me stupid or naive then so be it..It's who I am...

Instincts, lots of common sense and gut feelings get me through when situations are not right and also not rushing in too quickly into anything without consulting my head, heart and feelings. I analyse.... lol! We are all a funny lot in many respects...But anyway this segment was about phone calls and I still say I prefer to go through RSVP's way of instant chat or emails first. Cheers to you both....

Posted by: sweetmixture at June 22, 2010 5:58 PM

Foodie,

My lifetime experience causes me to completely reject your cynical view of life and people. I have found sites like RSVP excellent and have met fulfilling partners and friendships here whom I would not have met any other way.

Yes one has to exercise caution. I think women have to be more cautious than men but if one takes an attitude of "I am going to be ripped off" into a new meeting then most likely you will be because you are not prepared to make any emotional investment.

I find Sweetmixture's situation interesting because I met my Gf about the same time at Mixture met her bloke. My Gf is also a widow. We have been almost inseparable ever since. My Gf could not date anyone for 5 years after her husband's death and that was 9 years ago now. But she was relatively young at 45 when widowed. It maybe is too soon for Mixture to make a commitment yet. Unfortunately being older you have less time to decide which you appear to be well aware.

To find happiness we must take a risk. Many people are not prepared to do that or are so selfish they are unable to let anyone else into their lives. I urge people not to be reckless but take some careful risks. Back your judgement. The upside of a successful loving relationship is very very good.

rgds Grego

Posted by: grego7 at June 22, 2010 2:25 PM

Sweetmixture; your experiences in life will be different to mine.

There are some very good professionally written books on relationship psychology and sex education - how to do it right in the bedroom, which singles should read before letting the pleasure centre rule their rational thinking. It would stop a lot of the bogan bull circulating at singles venues.

If a strange man knocked on your door would you let that man into your house? Common sense says no. How many women are willing to sleep with a man a few hours after they meet? I would say the majority. What is the difference? A biological relief. You still don’t know that person or their long term motive.

In my younger days; I had access to business motivational psychology lectures which businessmen paid $2000 a day to attend. I did not pay for those lectures; I just had good contacts who loaned me the training material. I also studied mysticism. True mysticism teaches a person that there is equilibrium in life; good and bad, right and wrong, knowledge and ignorance and how to achieve equilibrium in your life by balancing rationalism and emotion. I was also employed in the electrical servicing industry where I observed day to day human nature without the person knowing it. Overall it gave me a good education in street smarts and survival instinct. The knowledge helped me through life because I have encountered many gold diggers seeking the gravy train to easy street and I have never been fleeced by any of them.

I used to know a guy who owned a business. The reason he started a business was to bed attractive women. The penthouse, furniture, car, boat, etc, was part of the con. I was talking to him one day about his lifestyle. Life was great as long as there was a positive cash flow. If the cash flow stopped he was back to being a builder’s laborer. I lost track of the guy; therefore I have no idea if he was a long term success.

The point I am making is that material possessions does not give a true financial status of that person. All it tells me is that a particular lifestyle is financed by a positive cash flow and a high level of debt. Stop the cash flow and that person is a bankrupt.

Businessmen are the ultimate in professional confidence tricksters. Businessmen may be good at work; at home, most have a wife to wipe their rear ends. I can tell you from experience that most women married to businessmen are not living the easy street life they expected.

I have a philosophy in life. Money is not freely dispensed from ATM’s, houses don’t grow from acorns, supermarkets are not charitable institutions and romance does not sustain life. The reality of life is that we all have to work to survive; when the finances are in the red, the romantic lifestyle files out the window.

Divorced, over 40, once the finances are sorted out and the house sold, most divorcees will become life long renters. Dating sites are full of people professing the travel and dining lifestyle. Where is the money coming from? All I can say is Houston we have a problem, danger Will Robertson, it does not compute. You are smart enough to crunch the numbers. Who is financing the lifestyle?

Getting back to the original discussion, ask the right questions use your gut instincts that will usually give you a feeling about that stranger you have met. Finding a soul mate is a misguided mysticism philosophy; if you have any apprehensions, there are plenty of prospects in circulation, walk away from the liaison.

Posted by: foodieatheart at June 21, 2010 11:18 PM

Posted by: foodieatheart at June 17, 2010 5:22 PM
Hi foodie...sounds like you may have experienced a few not so good things in the past..Care to share at all?

There is much merit in what you say although I do beg to differ from the..
"The only way you can reliably determine if a person is an impostor is to meet face to face and look them in the eyes while having an intelligent conversation. The body language will soon tell you if they are telling porkies."

It is quite well known that confidence tricksters, if they have you in their sights, are all too often very good at deceiving even when face to face with a person. I have seen many current affairs programs depicting women who have verified to that. Also there are many women who do these things too which is one reason why everyone on a dating site needs to exercise a certain amount of caution and use general common sense when it comes to new contacts..

Posted by: sweetmixture at June 20, 2010 12:19 PM

Frankly, I will not provide my telephone number or personal email address to anyone from a dating site.

I also screen all my telephone calls with an answering machine set to second ring answer. That way if there is harassment, I have evidence.

For security reasons I provide a gmail address to someone I do not know. That way if something goes wrong, I can delete the address and use a new one. Setting up a personal email address with my internet service provider requires more work and with the right software may be traceable.

A telephone conversation does not reveal anything about a person. The only way you can reliably determine if a person is an impostor is to meet face to face and look them in the eyes while having an intelligent conversation. The body language will soon tell you if they are telling porkies.

I will not respond to unsolicited emails from a dating site. They get immediately blocked. If I receive a contact interest, I acknowledge the contact. Once I receive an email from the dating site, I make contact and an appointment to meet in a well lit public venue.

If the meeting did not work out, I block the emailer.

Finally; I would say that anyone who believes that they can get to know a stranger via continuing email or telephone conversations is naive. You should read the dating scams on the ACCC web or try a web search for 419 dating scams. Because the reality of life is that when it comes to money matters and houses people are not who the pretend they are. I have yet to meet anyone who can live of the fruits of a romantic liaison. Don't forget an STI/STD knows no boundaries.

Posted by: foodieatheart at June 17, 2010 5:22 PM

You can always block your phone number from showing if you wish to make a call and not have the number register. It's easy on a mobile to block and unblock it using the 'settings' . On the home phone just check with your carrier via phone or website and see what the 'not show' number code is to dial into your phone. you can block or unblock your number as you wish. easy peasy solves a lot of problems.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 16, 2010 12:58 PM

Personally speaking, I would prefer to email a few times, get to know the person gradually and not give out too many details too start with, then when I am feeling comfortable communicating with that person I would then be happy to start chatting via the phone. I think that giving out the phone number straight away without a hint of what that person may be like could be a bad call to make, especially if it turned out you did'nt want to take things further but that person decides to make a nuisance of themselves constantly phoning you. I prefer the safer method which RSVP provides plus they also have the instant chat if one wishes to use that.

Posted by: sweetmixture at June 15, 2010 8:33 PM

I prefer phone calls to any other contact. I do not know who the person is so why would I keep emailing all my persaonal details. I can listen to someone and tell all types of things about that person when he talks, it saves me time and no luck coffees

Posted by: greeneyes100 at December 26, 2009 7:32 PM

don't call. text is better and safer.
any time unless you really can't help yourself text first the call.
only call if you really really need to.
there are alot of risks involved in calling.
what if they don't like your voice, what if they hear something in the background (where you are) that they don't like?? what if they dump you?? it better to be dumped via sms surely that saves face??
plus the all important YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH MURDER ON TEXT

Posted by: nastiegirl at November 28, 2009 9:58 PM

AOF...I dsigaree slightly...I think phone calls or text messages late at night or before the birds are up are just wrong....
;-)

Posted by: ali1974 at November 22, 2009 5:36 PM

Yes, littlepebble. I dont think there is a right or wrong time to make that call and blow any "rules" if there are any.

The feeling of excitement, exhilaration and nervousness is great isn't it.

I had my first phone call with a lady last night. Yes the heart was in the throat and beating at a million beats per minute.
It's the first time I have laughed on a first phone call and it went for over two hours, with never the feeling of what do I say now. In fact I have the feeling I ended it to soon. She had a beautiful voice too. Looking forward to the meeting in person part and to be honest, I have not yet been that excited to meet anyone yet after the phone call.

Posted by: anordinaryfellow at November 4, 2009 10:01 PM

Just cause ! email ,msn,phone,face to face the challenge is does all the above feel the same vibe ! or were they hideing behind email,msn,phone we find out face to face!

Posted by: onlymyking at October 3, 2009 1:06 AM

The first phone (voice) contact can be exciting and exhilarating. Can you remember that first time when you really liked the person but was nervous and scared just in case you didn't end up liking them. You only wanted that wonderful feeling to last until you find out eventually that they are human too.

There is never a right or wrong time to do anything. You just do it and if it works out, great.

Life is a risk every day getting out of bed. If you worry about being perfect and pc all the time, you will not find joy and contentment with yourself as you are. Perfect is not very lovable.

I think you have to like someone to call them. If you feel sort of interested and kind of cant be bothered, then that is going to come across. Why bother? You build up that like level with email and msn contact first.

Posted by: littlepebble at September 17, 2009 7:59 PM

Happy Birthday Virgo.Hope you're having a great time!
Just pop Barry into the cupboard; he may find it too sad to celebrate.
After all girl, you're getting better with age and Barry, well he just has an inflated opinion of himself!
And very creepy thoughts if we are to beleive Mystril!

Posted by: amberlight58 at September 2, 2009 10:59 PM

Thanks Glitter and Willow!
Yes I did enjoy it, I just found having to reference every idea and opinion I had fairly exhausting, as apparently none of us EVER have an original idea or opinion!
There were so many things I'd never heard of; I mean I must have heard of the Human Genome Project, but damned if I could ever remember reading anything about it!
I suppose I did have 3 children 5 and under when the HGP began, so maybe I was just sleep deprived!

Yes Willow, you are damned right about the social life!

Posted by: amberlight58 at September 2, 2009 10:51 PM

Hap Hap Happy birthday Virgo, love and urrrrr....better stop there...............I usually offer something that a puppy does to ones leg when it gets excited in the wrong kind of way.

Hope you have a fantastic day and all your wishes come true for the day

xx

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at September 2, 2009 2:56 PM

Amber, well done finishing your uni module. I studied as a Mature aged student and I actually found it easier than when I left school, in spite of all the 'grown up' things we have to squeeze in as well. We have far better insights into life through our experiences and our essays reflect that. Plus our social life doesn't get in the way of study (as much!).

Posted by: willow29 at September 2, 2009 10:14 AM

Happy Birthday Lovely Virgo, I hope you have a wonderful day and are spoilt rotten - you deserve it, have an extra glass of moscato tonight (pink) - we must chat soon ;-) Alove xoxoxoxo

Posted by: aloveoflife at September 2, 2009 7:01 AM

~Amber~

Congratulations on your first uni module. You have come a long long way.

xox

As always, love to you.
Glitter

Posted by: glitteringblue at September 1, 2009 9:34 PM

Hi Glitter,
I know exactly what you mean :)
Amber xx

Posted by: amberlight58 at September 1, 2009 9:18 PM

Beautiful Jewels,

It just made me feel bad all the time and rarely made me laugh. Being single and on my own, I cannot afford to feel bad where possible. The price is too high. Why be there when I so enjoy the people here. And I have made some lovely new friends.

I will miss many of them at TLD and I am very fond of many of them - I just can't take the fighting, it's against my grain and life view.

One of my least favoured things in life is constant bickering to off-load stress.

Big warm cyber hug for you Jewely Jewels on this first day of Spring : ) x

Love Glitter

Posted by: glitteringblue at September 1, 2009 7:35 PM

.....and he always hangs on your every word, Virgo!
He'll never cheat, or blame you, doesn't leave his socks all over the house, never tells you you're over-emotional or neurotic, doesn't criticise your driving, clothes OR house-keeping!

Cons: not good to communicate with, tends to give you the 'silent treatment' (but other guys can do that too), he's seriously lacking in motivation and that other 'little thing'.....

Seems a diificult decision........

Posted by: amberlight58 at September 1, 2009 5:47 PM

Hey Jewels....

Happy 1st day of Spring.....Yayyyy...!!

Thank you for asking about Barry....I'm actually considering leaving RSVP, cos I think I may have found the plastic fantastic man of my dreams....he's nearly perfect...apart from a couple of things....but I figure with a few modifications....Wacko the Diddle-O....if you get my drift.....:))..(she says with a very wicked laugh..!!)

Virgo...:) xoxo

Posted by: virgowoman2 at September 1, 2009 2:05 PM

I don't think the teens do it with any intended malice, it's just fun for them. I don't think, like many things that teens do, they think of any consequences.

I am sure your own teen would think it's pretty good you are making an effort to get out and about again and then would totally put it out of his mind whilst he thinks of what is for dinner.

Posted by: iaminperth at September 1, 2009 12:26 PM

I had no idea that the younguns are looking for oldies to tease.
Hmmm...wondering what my teenager would have to say to them- he knows I'm on here and I get the impression that he prefers me to be on here as opposed to his friends mums who are trawling at the local.

Posted by: whatuc09 at September 1, 2009 10:26 AM

scorpio send a text saying you had a gr8 time and would like to do it again......cause she will now be thinking that you are not interested. So send it this morning.

virgo, was it you with the blow up doll, Barry??? how is he, that has been the funniest thing I have read for ages....so how is barry, do you think he will suffer from hayfever now we are in spring....what with all that driving around!!!!!

glitter, FG or froggie, obviously likes you....you know the story about the kid in the playground always picking on a particular girl...cause he just doesn't know what to say to her.......well that could be groggie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jen, the ovulating was a joke about obulating on another thread.....it was spelt that way to!!

glitter, i am thinking of taking a break from TLDplace ...for much the same reasons as you....as the last few days I have not had a laugh or even a giggle there, which gets you down...sad when you think about it.

just my thoughts on the first day of spring...jewels

Posted by: jewelsxr6 at September 1, 2009 7:48 AM

Stung..............now.

Call her, dont text her, find something really fun to do, dont just ask her for a drink, you know, something you would enjoy doing, whether it be the aquarium, or a concert or your favourite spot or a restaurant.......you guys should put more effort into dates, so I am advising you to start it stung :-)

I say then chat a while, ask if she had a great rest of the weekend, dont ask too much as she may have been on other dates though, you have to remember that, so could make things awkward for her............and just ask her if she wants to go somewhere specific, dont just generally ask her if she wants to go out again, be specific if that makes sense?

Like 'I know this really great restaurant, have you been?' and then 'do you want to go Thursday?'

Be laid back, but put thought into it.

I hate texts, so you know my opinion on that one.......but maybe a 'thanks for a great night, I will give you a call sometime next week' would have been okay...........its when you act part of someones life when you arent, or like you are the only person she is dating is when it gets wrong I think............but sending that text wouldnt have been a big one

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at September 1, 2009 5:08 AM

Yep - I agree with jenjen but then again I am hardly a shining example of how to work with the ladies.

Send a text just to let her know you had a good time and that you're looking forward to catching up.

Posted by: icycle67 at August 31, 2009 11:02 PM

Are you suggesting he harvest the eggs FG?
You're terrible Muriel...oops.. I mean FG!

Posted by: karen59 at August 31, 2009 10:54 PM

It was awful for some of the kids when the 'olds' were on the site. They were relentless in their teasing. There was one time when they found one of the kids grans on the site, now that really caused much hilarity. Teenagers are shockers sometimes and sometimes spent evenings trolling the rsvp profiles looking for someones mum or dad they may know. All huddled around a laptop giggling and whispering, No, it wasn't porn, it was someones 'old' on rsvp. Finding a gran was an absolute bonus with lots of cheers and punching in the air - aw don't you just love the little darlings.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 31, 2009 10:52 PM

Step back girls... Froggy got da moves going down!

Der glumph went the little green frog one day,
Der glumph went the little green frog,
Der glumph went the little green frog one day,
And the frog went glumph, glumph, glumph.
But we all know frogs go la de da de da,
La de da de da,
La de da de da
We all know frogs go la de da de da,
They don't go Glumph, glumph, glumph!

Oh yeah, I can see you bustin' out those moves right now Frog legs! Good to see you in the swim of it!
Ain't you the cutes darn frog in the pond!
We're all big fans bro'!

Posted by: karen59 at August 31, 2009 10:51 PM

Excuse me FG.........huh ???

Yep, send that text Scorpio......wont make any difference to the outcome, she is either interested or not, but if she is then she will appreciate the message......good luck :))

Posted by: jenjen57 at August 31, 2009 10:38 PM

Ask if she's ovulating first...

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 31, 2009 10:27 PM

Hey I thought I'd share this. Met up with a girl on friday night in the city, and thought it went pretty well, lots of conversation and laughs, we happen to live in the same suburb which is a bonus and she offered to drive me home, as I went in by train. Wondering if thats a good sign she's interested or maybe out of politeness. And this time I havn't sent any "how was your day" msgs :p (i stuffed up in this kind of situation last time) and wondering when would be a good time to call her and arrange to see her again. I did say about catching up to her when she dropped me off, but should I have sent her a text saying was a great night i'll call you during the week to arrange to meet up again. Your thoughts?

Posted by: stungbyascorpio at August 31, 2009 10:15 PM

Hello my little Froggy : ))

Mmmm you are feisty tonight, giving all the big girls wot for.

I have been told that I look quite good (not their words) especially by the very young 6-packed, broad shouldered Hungarian kayaking team that are currently training where I paddle. Buuut, they are far too young and far too good looking for me, but it's nice that they are not too young to appreciate . . . well nature and all it's beauty and strength . . .gotta love those boys : ))

Willow, did you let that man upof that bed yet - a guys gotta get a drink or water and have a shower y'know . .

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 31, 2009 9:38 PM

Glitter... you may kick my butt.. but would you look as good...:)))

Miss W, that would be right... always a willow next to a billabong, sucking in the goodness...

Karen... this froggy has a few moves of his own!!

Bring it on... you lot..

Froggy

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 31, 2009 7:48 PM

Thanks for your comments, I hadn't thought about work colleagues sticky-beaking, and dont have a school aged kiddy so hadn't thought of that playground sticky-beak angle either.

Happy spring time bloggers!

Posted by: memoryofkisses at August 31, 2009 7:08 PM

Karen, I'm sure that its not easy being green.....

Posted by: willow29 at August 31, 2009 6:38 PM

Oney ~ hope you're back gets better soon. And don't worry bout the extra dress sizes (you prob. aren't), you know the joke don't you - and I love it - goes like this:-

I may be overweight, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.

: ))) xox

Well known fact is, that many many men like a hot well rounded woman - not a cold greyhound. Just saying . . .

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 31, 2009 6:38 PM

Oh and JJ . . I brought this over from the other thread because I loved it and the other thread's closed!! . . funny girl : )) xo

" . . . FG....bull.....shxx ohh sorry I sneezed......No way glitter looks older....than you....."

hahahahah. The Ugly Truth : ))))))))))))))

Luv Glitter xo

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 31, 2009 6:12 PM

Aaahh you are so witty my Krazy fiend (I mean friend).

But you see, our little Froggy is unlikely to turn into a prince (his destiny) if he kisses me upon said blog-log, as alas, I am not a model, and I am so very old and wrinkled - he may surly visit me in my pond and I will most likely whip his cute green arse - sportingly speaking - but, well, he is too young and far too good looking for one such as I.

Glitterella in rags *resigned to a life of older men with comb-overs and lots of gold chains*

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 31, 2009 6:04 PM

Hey Froggy... you must be green with envy over Glitters sporting prowess?! Mwah-ha! I crack myself up! Maybe she will come visit you on your speckled log one day and teach you a few wicked manouvres in your pond!!! ;);)

Posted by: karen59 at August 31, 2009 5:35 PM

Onemore - you might miss out on that handsome millionaire who has his pic hidden because all the gold diggers would recognise him from the society page......

Just kidding, you stick to your guns :)

Posted by: willow29 at August 31, 2009 4:07 PM

I guess maybe I should have said clearer, I understand that some people 'need' to feel they need to hide their photos for professional reasons, or others.

I however choose to not take the risk, for a number of reasons. Again it comes back to hypocrisy, if a guy has his photo hidden but only messages women who have visible photos, then for me thats a wrong wrong.

Me personally, I am sure there are some nice men who choose to hide thier photos for genuine reasons, my choice is, no, never will I engage with someone with no or password protected photographs. Just a personal choice and I dont feel desperate enough to find someone to change that.

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 31, 2009 3:16 PM

Definitely Karen, There are a myriad of valid reasons for not showing your photo to all and sundry. I remember kids in senior school having a wonderful time looking thru this site to see whose mums or dads were on the site and what they were saying about themselves. Great stuff to chuck around at recess. Also just private people not wanting the rest of the world know what they are doing. Also for security reasons, people don't want all their work colleagues knowing everything about their lives. It is a very small thing to ask for I think and obviously it can be compromised by persistent individuals, however it does offer a little bit of peace of mind. I think sometimes people make too many rules and regulations about how another person should behave. I believe the only person you have control over in your life is yourself and your reactions to situations that impact upon you.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 31, 2009 12:13 PM

Glitter, Feelgood, I have a beautiful billabong nearby that is fantastic to paddle up first thing in the morning. Either/both of you are welcome to join me one morning - followed by a big slap up breakfast of wonderful sunraysia produce.

Posted by: willow29 at August 31, 2009 8:56 AM

Hi Memory,
I can't speak for others, but in my case, I dont show my profile because I am not looking for anyone. I enjoy blogging. I do sometimes show it (so other bloggers remember who I am) but in spite of it having said "Im not looking", I still get corro. Its just easier not to show it. I'll put it up for the morning just for you :)

Posted by: willow29 at August 31, 2009 8:54 AM

Thats fantastic FG! Did you enjoy it? Why haven't you paddled in 3 years!!!???

Yeaaaahhh suuuuuuree you've still got it, suurre little froggy, whatever you say.

Grandma!!

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 31, 2009 7:03 AM

Posted by: memoryofkisses at August 29, 2009 8:30 PM

I say for me, its a no go. Personal choice, but with the amount of attached people on these date sites, I should imagine the more intelligent flavour of attached probably would hide their picture, so I choose absolutely not at all and wont respond to those with no picture, or a hidden one.

Just my view, but never ever, I dont even look when I am given a password (in case they are cute and I want to drop that standard).

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 31, 2009 6:12 AM

People have every right not to show there photo's. But if they send someone a 'kiss' clearly they have to be prepared to offer a password. Just my opinion.

Posted by: karen59 at August 30, 2009 10:29 PM

Guess what glitter..? wait for it..! I went for a paddle saturday, for the first time in 3 years...! Still got it tho..:))

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 30, 2009 8:10 AM

I enjoy reading people's comments about life, dating and RSVP, and I was wondering what you think about people who dont show their photo?
Thanks

Posted by: memoryofkisses at August 29, 2009 8:30 PM

I'm not sure if he's in bed alone Glitterata!

Noooo... the penny has dropped! Not wishing to be the instigator of totally unfounded gossip... BUT... has anybody else noticed the sudden but syncronized absence of Bob and Perthy.... eh?... eh? Mmmm...what can we make of that little coinky-dink fellow bloggers? Something juicy and mischievious...eh! We must never let the truth get in the way of a good story now!!! Krazy.

Posted by: karen59 at August 29, 2009 3:54 PM

Little Froggy, wake the bloody hell up - we're LATE . . . don't forget your paddle . . . C'mon!! (and a towel . . .) shit, I'm late!!!!!

(ps. were uuuuuuu being a smarrrrt arse?)

Glitter : I

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 29, 2009 6:40 AM

... and about the Mum's FG? Are you a collector or sumpin'? Jist how many you got bro'?

Posted by: karen59 at August 28, 2009 11:54 PM

Hey FG... is Bob in your bed... Kick the b*gger awake will ya!!!

Posted by: karen59 at August 28, 2009 11:27 PM

What one Karen?? Mum No2 called me the other night. got me a beauty too, i thought it was the tax man...!:)

Hi unknown, I'll agree.., A phone conversation adds excitment and curiosity just by the way a hello is said.

And Glitter I'm overdue for a sleep... 10:10 ten minuets past my bed time.

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 28, 2009 10:11 PM

Sshhhhhhhh.... Bob appears to be sleeping.

Posted by: karen59 at August 28, 2009 3:39 PM

CoooooL Wonita!

I do booze. I do lounging.

My people will talk to your people . . .

:-)

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 28, 2009 12:11 PM

Glitter, you are always welcome here for a boozy night out :-) We often either do boozy lunch, boozy dinner, boozy boozing or just lounging by the pool with errrr...yeh you guessed it, booze.

Obviously you get that whatuc09 is one of my pals, so is kit71 and scubasam, we often do things if ever you are at a loose end....so you are welcome anytime :-)

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 28, 2009 11:43 AM

and it adds the tone and all the other things that emailing doesnt. Hearing a voice is way better than not
Posted by: karen59 at August 27, 2009 6:27 PM.

Posted by: unknownauthor at August 28, 2009 1:57 AM

But have you called your mother FG?

Posted by: karen59 at August 27, 2009 11:40 PM

Hey Virgo... I am clearly very fortunate... I don't have a single relative or friend that would offer THAT response to my phone call!

I am not good at keeping up with folks on the phone... tend to prefer to email. Can do that at anytime so it is often more convenient to both parties. But, yes, hearing a voice and being able to respond immediately is much more personal.

Posted by: karen59 at August 27, 2009 6:27 PM

Evenin' All,

You know this rsvp is a funny ol' place. Just had contact with a guy I used to work with here on the coast - lots of fun and my age (nope not interested, either of us!!) but with respect to social networking - It's great.

We've been in touch and planning a big boozy, dance-er-rama soon - you know when you go out not trying to pick up, or even care, and you just go out and dance until you get blisters on your feet and your legs ache the next day, as well as your face from smiling all night - I am SO overdue for a night like that!! It's fun as there is no pressure and it's nights like that, that you probably will "pick up" - not that I am into meaningless liaisons - at my ripe old age - hahaha : )))

Glitter xo

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 27, 2009 6:26 PM

Nup karen, didn't work..
and i shouldn't talk on the phone to telstra two lines into my post...!

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 27, 2009 5:32 PM

FG...

If a loved one called me and said F@#k you...I don't think the power of that conversation would bring happiness to my life....!?!

Mum...:)

Posted by: virgowoman2 at August 26, 2009 10:20 PM

I agree FG. It's all the little things we take for granted that make such a difference in our lives. Little things that touch our hearts and awaken us again. A quick p;hone call, a little message, anything. It is the recognition that you mean something to another person

Posted by: iaminperth at August 26, 2009 9:41 PM

Man I use those diversion tactics everyday at kindy... does it work on adults too??

Posted by: karen59 at August 26, 2009 9:11 PM

I think that was a great 'switcharoo' FG!

.... trouble is my cordless phone dies to quickly!

Posted by: karen59 at August 26, 2009 8:37 PM

I agree FG - although sometimes its best to let sleeping dogs lie.

I started writing to my Aunty in the UK after 10 years - we write once a month and receiving letters and photos from Australia was one of the highlights of my Uncle's life in the couple of years before he died. He was in a wheelchair for the last years and I sent him a sticker saying "I climbed Ayers Rock". He loved it and stuck it on his chair - showed all his mates.

Stories from the farm, photos, sketches etc were all put in a scrap book and proudly shown to visitors. Now my Auntie has double the memories when going through it.

Posted by: willow29 at August 26, 2009 8:35 PM

Hey guys It's never to late to call a loved one. Even if you thought it were done and dusted.. Maybe a sorry or a hello or just F- you .!!whatever.. A phone conversation can be life changing for both involved. Phones are something we take for granted these days and i think the power of a phone conversation can really bring happiness to our lives. What do you all reckon?

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 26, 2009 7:20 PM

Obviously not! Ha!

Posted by: karen59 at August 26, 2009 5:57 PM

I'll second that!!!

And can you feel the love tonight...? Nah... that'll be the Sav Blanc speaking!!

Mwah. Mwah and Mwah to you all to!!!!

Posted by: karen59 at August 25, 2009 5:54 PM

Ta Glitter, hope your head and burnt skin are better :-)

Now we have the simple clarification can we put this one to bed now, rsvp - close close!!!!!

Posted by: aloveoflife at August 25, 2009 2:36 PM

Glitter,

Fabulous attitude, I tip my hat.

Yes after working so long, it would be lovely to stay home for 6-12 months and it would be a gift.

It would also be a gift for a male too and I get you see that point.......hence, I tip my hat again.

Thats all my point is

Perfectly done

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 25, 2009 11:57 AM

Grief... :(

Posted by: karen59 at August 25, 2009 9:56 AM

mingle - I do hope the last comment in your post last night wasn't directed at moi!
it ain't a competition but - my former life was generally at the airport taking my husband to and fro, he worked all over and was at home maybe half the time, for the 20 years we were married. He got stuck in this "role", and no amount of trying to turn anything around was going to work. I worked full time, and worked doubly hard with my daughters, and at trying to give him an alternative lifestyle.
Some people's views are informed by their lives, you know!
I'm so not looking for any argument, just stating my case.

Posted by: russianballerina at August 25, 2009 8:15 AM

Mingle

As the 'self professed guru's who substitute a lack life experience with self righteousness, a soapbox and a megaphone' you are making the snidy little dig at, I say thank you, as if a man with your attitude feels that, I am doing my job.

Oh and on the nurturing front............I think you men are deluded if you think women are more nurturing than men.......look around, seriously.........with your eyes open

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 25, 2009 7:49 AM

I can't sleep. Got a headache. Think it's from my radical health kick and too much sun, you know when your skin feels kinda sting-ey and itchy. Feel so restless. . .

Just re-reading some of the posts and I though . . . you know what? I wouldn't have a f#@king clue, I haven't got kids and I have never been officially married. So I'm like a snow-ball trying to imagine what it's like in Barbados . . . .

If I am ever lucky enough to be a mum one day (still got a wee bit of time left) - I think after a life of working (since I was 15 y.o.) and growing up with a very high level career woman for a mother that didn't always have a lot of time for us when we were young (in terms of presence), I would be jumping at the chance to stay home for at least the first 6-12 months - what a gift that would be. After that, I think I'd be getting a little manic and want to get back out there.

Happy if daddy decided he then wanted the next 6-12mths off at home. But these days, like I think Grego said - it's unlikely for average people, that either parent can take that time off work (seems a shame).

Glitter xo

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 25, 2009 12:32 AM

Good on you Mingle. We were always so busy as well and neither had the desire to judge the other. There were never any gender issues in our household, it was more who could do the best job at the time. Both my daughters were brought up that way and both have succeeded well in life. I suppose I haven't even thought about it for so many years and I think it was about the seventies that most of it was going on. I think most people are only restricted by their own thoughts not by society.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 24, 2009 11:26 PM

Nooooooo Perthy... topic finished, pleeeease!... or I am going to have to resort to the 'time-out' chair!!! Presistent b**ger aren't you! But I luv ya!

Not just minced goolies Nik... 'brazilian minced goolies' no less!! Actually... probably itchy brazilian minced goolies for that matter!!

Thanks for the laughs wicked sista's... you make my day too!!!
Kaz xoxo

Posted by: karen59 at August 24, 2009 11:12 PM

Perthy thanks for that reality check , it resonated with what our reality was.

Both of us were working in the rat race , trying to pay the bills, the mortgage, put food on the table and clothes on our backs. Wife was working a shift roster that changed on a fortnightly basis. I worked 5 days a week for a boss and weekends on the house cause all we could afford was a dump, we drove two old holden hq's for years doing the repairs myself when they frakked up.
My 2 girls at the time both under 5 and it used to break my heart dropping them off early in the morning into the care of a stranger.
This went on for years and years. 3rd daughter came along when i turned 41 and i finally got the chance to be a part of one of my childrens formative years instead of spending every waking moment keeping the wheels on.

As the kids grew up the motto was school is cool and the best thing you can learn is how to learn, long talks about getting a career, being self sufficient, being financially independant. not being a hostage to another persons paypacket, having options.

Our obligations didnt stop there , we saved and worked and managed to secure a start for our daughters so that when they do eventually settle down some of the burdens of getting a home together will be taken care off and they don't have to endure the same hardships.

So its nice to read some comments based in reality. Its easy to read who has walked the walk and i must confess i have a bit of a giggle when i see comments from self professed guru's who substitute a lack life experience with self righteousness, a soapbox and a megaphone.

Posted by: mingle48 at August 24, 2009 10:35 PM

and perthy - yeah, I agree with you. I thought all these conversations finished yonks ago. I don't get this..........
ah well

Posted by: russianballerina at August 24, 2009 10:31 PM

Hey Ballerina ~ don't spontaneously combust. It's only blog/conversing. I wouldn't take it so personally : ))

Breathing iiinn, breathing ooouuut . . . ahhh . . .

Glitter :-/

ha ha :)
hey it's cool. no gaskets being blown here!
just expressing a view is all. interesting conversation.

and mingle - yeah, I generalised I know. some marriages, then, not most. sorry

Posted by: russianballerina at August 24, 2009 10:29 PM

Oh, just thought of two more. One guy not only brought his children up but after his wife left she had an affair and had another child. Neither the father or the ex wanted the child and he brought this one up as well. The boy completed university last year and now has an engineering degree. The other guy I know was in a similar situation, wife left for another man, that then broke up and the kids wanted to stay with their dad. He brought up two by himself from very young children with no support financially or otherwise. He is now finding it so hard as his daughter has gone overseas and has met a young man in another country. Dads, in that situation I think find it a lot harder to let go.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 24, 2009 10:19 PM

Hey Kaz, love the Mulberry bush but I'm going to have nightmares tonight. Nothing about equality, feminism et al.

I'm having visuals, lycra and minced goolies - Mingle you can get something to help that - lol. Bob in suspenders and a chubby (!)chasing anything on the Gold Coast with a pulse.

No visuals, don't go there, don't go there, damn went there, nightmares - bugger, may as well not go to bed.

Posted by: aloveoflife at August 24, 2009 10:06 PM

Okay... have we exhausted this topic now... I am getting seriously dizzy zippin' around this Mulberry bush! Yo'all givin' a headache!

Posted by: karen59 at August 24, 2009 9:53 PM

I know...I know.. I was more talking infants.. Nothing like seeing a new born snuggle into it's mother. Men just haven't got the same bonding. The cry of a baby is enough to bring on a mothers milk, ect... the smell ect.. those things a man can not do.
Yes once the child is a little older fair enough. Blokes can and do a wonderful job and do.
Nothing will change my mind on the infant stance tho.

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 24, 2009 9:49 PM

I have to agree with you Perth. FG, I too am old fashioned in my morals and values - BUT I am also progressive in regards to equality and gender role choices.

There are many many men that are better at nurturing and bringing up children than many many women out there. A parent is either a nurturers and good parent, or they are not - regardless of their gender. I think what is being said is that society has to be more aware that the stay at home parent is not always the woman, nor is the most nurturing parent always the woman either.

But I do believe children need "both" parents as they need role models in their lives. But that's a whole nuther topic.

Glitter

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 24, 2009 9:49 PM

Oops I hit the post comment before I had finished.

Anyway I completely respect everyones right to their own opinion and don't mean to offend, but I just don't feel that a man can't be as nurturing as a woman.

John :)

Posted by: johnj71 at August 24, 2009 9:47 PM

Hey Guys,

This is getting realllllly boring...I'm getting dizzy and haven't had a beer yet!! Who cares...generalisations all round. Everyone is individual...some families have great kids, but lousy parents; and lousy kids with great parents

As they say in the pubs at last drinks....Calling Time!!!!!

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 24, 2009 9:44 PM

Sorry FG but I have to totally disagree with you. The first night my daughter came home from hospital she slept on my chest so she could hear my heart beat, I would watch her sleep for hours on end because I was so afraid of sids, I had my partner express so I could do all the night time feeds. I was the one who did most of the nappy changes, I was the one who they came to when they wet their bed in the middle of the night to change the sheets. I loved every minute of it and wouldnt change it for the world. I was and still am the more nurturing of the two parents. So maybe in most cases the woman is the more nurturing parent but not in every case. I chose this role for many reasons, but mostly because I wanted to bond with my daughters in a way I felt a father should with his children, not the way a father traditionally does.

I com

Posted by: johnj71 at August 24, 2009 9:43 PM

Hey Nik,

Might scare you...but tigers thought it was a weeks dinner in one meal!!!!:))) They only let me out because I was wearing that hat I told you to leave on:))

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 24, 2009 9:30 PM

They can FG. I know a couple of guys thru my daughters school who have virtually brought their kids of whilst their wives have been away. In this case, both women had extremely high pressured jobs and spent quite a lot of time away from home. The blokes just sort of took over. Three actually I know personally, just remembered. Both parties always wanted children but none of these women wanted to be stay at home mums. The guys also work, but not the pressure and they stay in the state. So, it's kid juggling, picking up after school and all that stuff that mums do. I have just thought of four, yes. All these families have been very happy and pretty stable financially. One of them, we always called Mr. Mom and he would always have a laugh despite him holding a very high position himself. I just thought of another one ! Kids were great, everyone was happy. Fiona Wood the Burns Specialist has five kids and massive work load, she is a great example. There are many many families who do this. Some women are not born nurturers, but their level of love and committment is huge and I think they are great role models for their children. We need more strong role models for our children, parents who do things, make things happen and succeed in whatever they do. Not people who just sit around and winge and make excuses.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 24, 2009 9:27 PM

I don't believe there is any pressure on anyone in their choice of parenting. It's what you want to do. I have no idea where you are coming from One. It makes no sense to me at all what you are saying as you are presuming things that happened about 20 years ago, or maybe even more. Everyone has a choice, they just need to talk to their partner, gender plays no part, unless they can't think for themselves.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 24, 2009 9:20 PM

I think you have hit the nail on the head Russian. People stereotype themselves quite a lot and fit themselves into perceived gender roles. The guy does this and the girl does that. You only have to look at the young girls today who are getting themselves into trouble fighting and boozing. Their excuse, oh the guys can do it. I think individually people are so much smarter these days and share the load. Unfortunately they compete with each other and criticize each other with their perceived freedom. I thought the old rule was, whoever gets home first peels the potatoes for dinner, although nowadays it would be who chops up the salad. Personally I like the kitchen to myself but my ex was good at having the kids crawl all over him and amuse them for a while when he arrived home. I thought these kind of discussions re gender ended about 20 years ago. I lived thru all this feminism push and, I'm afraid, it has been very distorted over the years. It's up to the individual in most cases. You only have to look at the amount of women in power, the number of female doctors, lawyers etc. Women can do anything they want to do if they want to do it. They just study, keep focussed and work hard, just like most men do.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 24, 2009 9:16 PM

Hey Ballerina ~ don't spontaneously combust. It's only blog/conversing. I wouldn't take it so personally : ))

Breathing iiinn, breathing ooouuut . . . ahhh . . .

Glitter :-/

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 24, 2009 8:08 PM

I am scratching my head about some of the imagery i am seeing painted here. I keep seeing this picture of a man with a whip in his hand standing over a woman being forced into some subservient role .
I accept that this is possible in our society but i would argue that it is the exception rather than the rule.

Marriages fail for lots of reasons, people grow apart, some marriages turn into a power struggle, some folks partners are unfaithful and it goes on. To say most marriages fail because the particpants were forced into "roles" is a very long bow to draw.

I think its just a convienance to automatically associate the word "role" to some simplistic statement of man work pay bills - woman cook clean look after kids. This is just cheap demagoguery.

Anyone who has had a long standing relationship/marriage.partnership understands in thier bones what the word compromise means , and they understand that nothing is black and white, only infiinite shades of grey.

Kaz - its all good on the lycra 8)

Posted by: mingle48 at August 24, 2009 6:50 PM

well guys Who bloody cares? No man can nurchure a young child like a woman can. Anyone who thinks differently hasn't had children. Me i'm old fashioned. i'll work to support a family if the child is better for it. For me it's about someone else not myself.

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 24, 2009 6:31 PM

Here we go round the Mulberry bush
The Mulberry bush
The Mulberry bush
Here we go round the Mulberry bush
On a blog a blog a frog on a log!

Posted by: karen59 at August 24, 2009 6:29 PM

Posted by: grego7 at August 24, 2009 2:02 PM

Great post Grego, actually gets to many of the issues and actually, I dont think you and I are disagreeing at all Grego, in fact quite the opposite, we are very much on the same page.

Of course there are men and women who are work shy, only thing is women who are can still call themselves housewives and the men, well people generally call them losers which isnt really fair. I was really pleased to hear today that my friends teenage son had spoken to his mum about gender roles (with no prompting from me I may add), about how he was questioning women staying home and men being providers and he recognised there was a pressure there to follow that way of doing things....so there is a pressure, him and I have not had conversations about this stuff, it was purely off his own questioning of it........which for me is great, when a teenage boy is that aware of something as big as that.........maybe because of him questioning that, he will make decisions in his life that will be better for him and more about who he is and not who the giant pressure of society says he should be

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 24, 2009 6:17 PM

Hey Bob, what are you on???? Did someone spike your birthday cocktail???Virgo I can understand, a few wines, can't remember who she talked to but you got this one a bit twisted. I thought that the animals at Taronga Park Zoo were in a precarious predicament with you nearby but don't you go running around the Gold Coast with your suspenders and a chubby scaring the Tigers - let alone me, Miss Glitter and Onemore!!! Us Qlders have a bit more ahem, class than that!!!!

Disclaimer - anything misconstrued from the above shall not be used against me by my dear friends Bobbles and Virgo - Nik mwah!

Posted by: aloveoflife at August 24, 2009 5:50 PM

thanks Lucie - hats off to you too matey.

Oney - 1970's feminism is what started the debate on gender roles. Men were stuck, as much as women, but "society", ie men's structures, wasn't allowing anyone any room to move.
Women used their strength and their resentment, and revealed the inequities in western society, and fought to change this and to give everyone options, both men and women. Without this, there would be many more men who hate the role they feel forced to play, but don't have the courage to change it.
It annoys me intensely when people say they're not feminists as if that was akin to sleeping with the devil. Maybe we should say we're humanists.
I don't doubt your passion - and all praise to you, totally. But telling people that the way they choose to live their lives is wrong, in these supposedly enlightened times, is no different than expecting people to conform to 1950's roles. And surely we've moved on from that.
I'm passionate about people's rights too, to live as they choose, without any should's being imposed, without other's fear and insecurity stifling them.
What's that saying - I may not agree with what you say, but I'll fight for your right to say it.

enough now

Posted by: russianballerina at August 24, 2009 3:45 PM

I think you are getting totally mixed up re gender issues or just having a lazy partner and that can be either side of the partnership. I don't think every stay at home mum puts in a straight taxing 8 hours work every day of the week and then the stress of travelling etc. I worked the whole time with both my kids and looked after the house etc and a whole load of other stuff, and yes, I got very tired at times, but it wasn't an overload, just a busy time of life. I don't know what people do with themselves when they stay home all day. Maybe blog on here, I don't work today, lol !!!!

Posted by: iaminperth at August 24, 2009 3:43 PM

So, who's promoting gender in parenting? It's about choice, financial advantages and sometimes just who wants to say home. I'm not sure what you are trying to get across here about removal gender roles in parenting, who is supposed to remove them ? Or do you want to create your own rule for removal. We have mens parenting classes, dual sex baby change rooms, the guys a lot of the time are picking their kids up from school etc., etc. could go on and on but I won't. Sometimes it just boils down to who is doing what at the time, seems very fair to me. It's more about getting organised within your own realtionship than having someone else tell you what to do all the time. We have some of the guys at work when they are rostered on Saturday bringing their kids in with them, same as the women. There is no difference, dad brought me in, mum brought me in, the kids don't care, just as long as there is lots to do and stuff to eat.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 24, 2009 3:34 PM

Oney,
The decision of whether one partner stays at home to look after the children is not a choice for most couples because of economic imperatives. The reality is that few couples can afford to have one partner not working.

Where one partner either the female or male has sufficiently high income the couple have some form of choice.Although they incur a very high economic penalty.

My ex chose to stay at home. She had a very good career and was well paid but my income was over double hers. This was not because I was male but because I was tertiery educated and she had not completed high school. The desires of both of us and our income situation made the decision straight forward.

I know of couples where the decision was reversed. The woman had the higher income and the guy stayed at home.

However, real choice and real equality on child rearing will not occur until the federal government allows income splitting for tax purposes between the working and non working partners. Income splitting would enable people with middle incomes ( rather than now requiring very high income) the choice of one partner staying at home.

In the past when it was considered a woman's role to stay at home the State was in effect getting free labour from the stay at home mothers. The same thing applies today except in some cases it is a stay at home father who is providing the free labour.

The fact Treasury has always bleated that it cannot afford income splitting is an admission of how much economic benefit is being derived from stay at home partners. In effect the Nation cannot afford to pay for the services being received. Or to put it another way Australia is bludging off stay at home partners who are usually women,.

Until people have economic equality there will never be true freedom of choice.
rgds Grego

Posted by: grego7 at August 24, 2009 2:02 PM

Hi all
I am back, catching up on what I missed out of..
Russianballarina---woopie girl, taking my hat off at you , bowing,,,You're saying what i were trying to...

Grego;;thank heavens, a mans view on the subject----hopefully my comment won't be seen as a sexist ......lol

Glitter - well done.

Oney- i am totally scrathing my head in disbelieve, I have been branded as a sexist,,honestly,,my last comments were not of the assumption that we SHOULD have gender roles,,,but merely pointing out the differences, i do think you misunderstood me. I'll give you that, your passion is driving you but get you all fired up, nothing wrong with that, greatly admire people that feel a passion for something and wish to make a difference. But hey oney we all have a view. smilee girl not attacking at you.
I won't take kindly to a bloke staying home, I can tell you that. We all have choices, and in this country we are free to express ourselves - this is not the case in some countries.

Feminism was about given woman rights and recognition, the most important one, allowing woman the right to vote...have their say. Not being left bare feet and pregnant in front of the stove.....we have come a long way :)
Just like Glitter say there need to be a balance and we all can make our own choices in life.

Posted by: luciemanette at August 24, 2009 11:29 AM

Absoluely Glitter.

Okay, all I am saying is there are not roles in life defined by gender and there shouldnt be. Men can be parents and home makers and should have as much freedom to do that without media stereotypes (ads such as Mum's know what foods best for the family) should be banned, its bad bad messaging for example............a Parent knows best is the better choice of words.........so that parent could be male or female.

Both men and women should be able to choose a path in life without social pressure, without media pressure, without conditioning that they based on their gender, should follow a certain path, as I say, half of stay home parents should be men.

Different CAN be equal.......of course it can...................classic example, road building, construction, farming the land were considered (and still are in South Africa) work for people who werent white in skin colour. That is not and was not equal. However, that isnt the case in todays society and in most countries.................so now construction workers are seen as Kings, Farmers are Kings..........they are respected. However, that is not the case in South Africa still and in the past, in history, it wasnt either.

So yes, equal can be different, but when it is forced based on a stereotype, such as gender or race, it is wrong. Slavery was only slavery as it was restricted to skin colour....................those same jobs are now honourable and good work, because they no longer have the stereotype attached to them.

Once we remove the gender our of parenting.........we allow men and women equal roles in society, without pressure from anyone........where it is openly accepted men stay home to raise the family, care for the home................and women are equally pressured to be financial providers as men are..........then we have a lovely balance and we have happier, healthier children who grow up open minded, able to achieve anything and with parents who wanted to be the stay home parent as they WANTED to and were the best for it..........which means in many cases, it will be the male.

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 24, 2009 11:29 AM

well Oney - I am a feminist, and I have no issue with that label.
don't people have a right to live as they choose? they can work this out for themselves.
I brought up my daughters to be strong, independent, self-reliant, to have full lives wherever and however they find fulfillment. and they will think about their lives - or else I was a poor excuse for a parent. they don't need anyone lecturing at them about gender roles or anything else.
Do not individuals have the capability to make informed choices about their lives? or have the right to any independent thought or perspective? but need someone coming in from outside pointing these things out to them?
this is not a theoretical construct or paradigm, this is people's one and only life.
sick of this argument

Posted by: russianballerina at August 24, 2009 11:16 AM

I agree with you Grego - different can be equal. As I'm sure One would also agree.

As a woman, I just want the right to the same opportunities and benefits in life (like pay, jobs, insurance, bank loans, and super etc), but I don't mind if people (couples) assume whatever gender roles they like.

I think that is more what Oney tends to try and get across (she just get's all fired up - it's an emotive topic). I don't think she wants to reverse the sexism, but to have a balance. It's the pendulum effect when women (who have traditionally missed out on much equal treatment) overly react to any hint of injustice or inequality.

Eventually, I hope, that the pendulum will find it's centre and won't need to swing wildly in an attempt at balance.

Luv Glitter xo

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 24, 2009 10:27 AM

Feminism was about women having choices......thats right, wasnt about equal rights at all. It was a woman can work or a woman can stay home.........that wasnt equality.

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 24, 2009 9:58 AM

Russianballerine, I am not a feminist (just wanted to make that clear).

I am against gender roles.....I believe stay home parents can and should be equally male or female, women not being typecast as parental people and males not being typecast as providers in life. Things like laws need to change, where women get awarded custody because they are female, fortunately the laws here in Oz do make it possible for the males to take paternal leave instead of the female if he is the primary caregiver.

Individuals, as in people, can make a decision to live any way they please................what I am doing, is trying to make people think, little girls not assume Dave the accountant will pay for their 4 bedroomed home and 2 holidays a year and 4WD, boys not thinking they have to be financially responsible for a family without question.

That individuals make decisions based on who is the better choice and when people are making the decision to be the primary childcare giver and home maker if they want to, its not as they are a woman..........its as they are the one who wants to do it.

Equally men should have the right and be offered to be the one to take that same role.

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 24, 2009 9:57 AM

Posted by: mingle48 at August 22, 2009 8:55 PM ....most folks are happy with the roles we have in our partnership/marriage and its nothing for anyone to be ashamed of . it only gets unfair when one or the other party is burdened with the majority of the workload.

sorry if I'm keeping this argument going - but I don't agree with this. I think this is the number one reason that marriages break down - the expectations and roles imposed by the other partner or by society, and the inability of either partner to express their needs or to understand the other's. Women our age were brought up to share more equally in life and in the relationship, while I don't think men our age were. And I think that's why we're all sitting here at this age wondering just what the hell happened. different strokes for different folks, but different rates of evolution. And this is just life, not blame or finding fault.

Posted by: russianballerina at August 24, 2009 9:55 AM

Oney,
May I suggest you relook at your comment about Mingle. I quote:
"Think yourself lucky I am not in power, as I would put sexists and racists in jail and you would be sitting in a cell right now Mingle"

Freedom of expression is a basic and critically important freedom of a democracy. I fail to see how you could have found mingle's comments offensive. They were not personally derogatory towards you or anyone else.

Your views on equality of the sexes is laudable , however, I think you may be confusing equality with difference. People can have different views and roles but are still equal.
rgds Grego

Posted by: grego7 at August 23, 2009 9:20 PM

Mingle... YOU know I am teasing you about the lycra don't you!? One of the problems with blogs, and even with text messaging, is that you don't get 'tone of voice' or 'body language,' so sometimes peoples intentions can be misconstrued.

I'm a cheery girl really... and I love guys... but my sense of humour can be very TIC... love to all!!! Kaz :)

Posted by: karen59 at August 23, 2009 5:04 PM

exactly Karen - it's all about individuals making their own choices. horses for courses.
if some women want to stay home with their children, and if finances allow that, and if it suits both the man and the woman, then what is wrong with that? there's so many different combinations and ways of living, some of them might be strict gender role playing, some not, but each couple will figure this out and muddle along with their choices.
And it's no-one's business but theirs.
It's only when people have roles forced on them, by their partner or by society or whoever, that they live lives that are wrong for them. and it's just as facist to impose gender neutral roles on people as it to impose gender specific roles, or any other sort of construct.
Wasn't feminism supposed to give us choice? And what gives some people the right to be the judge of other people's choices anyway?

Posted by: russianballerina at August 23, 2009 5:02 PM

Well.....

I don't know who I was talking to last night about black knickers....all I know is that I was trying to put my doof doof music on with my remote control... pressing the buttons frantically... only to find it was my house phone...that's when I knew it was time to go to bed...!!

I apologize to anybody I was speaking to last night about black knickers..!?!?

Virgo...:))))))) xoxo

Posted by: virgowoman2 at August 23, 2009 4:53 PM

Karen, you crack me up:)

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 23, 2009 4:25 PM

Hey Karen,

Birthday was great thanks....midday Friday to 5am Saturday. I had to come home because apparently I was caught at the Gold Coast wearing only a suspender belt...and with some strange woman in black knickers and........!!:))))))

bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 23, 2009 4:21 PM

Kaz, do you want some cheese with your "whine"??

Try being 5'10" bare foot - let alone in heals (which I love!) . . . ohhh to not have to bend down to kiss any more frogs . . .since apparently we have to kiss many . . . maybe I should by a special box for them all to stand on???

Mmmmm : /

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 23, 2009 4:20 PM

Hey Lizzie,

Suspender belts, black knickers, chubbies....and I always thought that you were such a nice young lady:)))))))

So let me get this story straight....Nik went away on the weekend wearing nothing but a pair of black knickers, and some guy wearing a suspender belt got a chubby??....is that right...I have always had my doubts about Nik!!!:)))))))

Boof

Posted by: notafigjam at August 23, 2009 4:17 PM

HAHAHAHAH . . . . Kaz, I started reading your post and thought WTF?????

" . . . Yep, I stayed home and I breastfed my daughter... because I wanted to .. . ."

I thought you were saying what you did this morning for breakfast eg "break-fast-ed" . . .

Oh that made me laugh - what a visual - I am completely visual - sorry Kaz - got the whole grown up mom and kid and boob picture . . .

Urk . . urk . . *fur-ball cough*

No offense - love ya xo

Glitter : /

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 23, 2009 4:15 PM

I continued to work when I had my second daughter as we had the business at home at the time. My ex worked in the city so he left early morning each day. I just got on with it and found it much easier to do just what had to be done. I have to admit to having a third bedroom full of washing waiting to be ironed but so long as everyone had something to wear each day we were fine. People used to make jokes about my little one hanging on like a koala when she was a little older but she was happy and well socialised and it worked for us at the time. Meals were pretty simple and I just changed things around a little to suit. The housework always came last on the list. I think a lot of it is working out priorities and changing them around to suit the situation. Lot of the younger guys at work get up and prepare the night feeds or get a cup of tea or whatever and change bub and then sit up and watch the tele or something till they're done. They also do a good hard days work and pick up some groceries on the way home. I don't think men in general are particularly selfish, just sometimes they need to be asked. I think women always should remember they were brought up by their mothers.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 23, 2009 4:04 PM

Yep, I stayed home and I breastfed my daughter... because I wanted to... not because I felt pressured by any society "norms" to do so. My husband clearly couldn't breast feed... but he also couldn't change a nappy... every time he tried he would violently dry retch... quite funny really!! So I did that... It is all about compromise in the end.

I believe in equality of opportunity for the sexes... but it all comes down to individuals beginning able to make their own choices.

As I am a preschool teacher I can provide some insight into what is the reality out there. Of the 42 children I teach... Only 2 are being cared for by a stay at home dad. Great dads doing a fantastic job. Hopefully this is all about people making choices that suit their personal circumstances.

....aaaand why are their so many short arse guys on this site? I am 5'7" and with heels that makes me about 5'10'... and I just can't sacrifice the heels... no way!!!!!

Posted by: karen59 at August 23, 2009 11:17 AM

Kinky girls!! Are you on the right web site!!? ;)

Posted by: karen59 at August 23, 2009 10:07 AM

Boy Virgo you really did have too much wine!! Wasn't talking to you last night, Kaz, Glitter - anyone want to own up.

Gotcha back missy!!!! Two can play at this -mwah, Nik x

Posted by: aloveoflife at August 23, 2009 9:49 AM

Tolerence and respect.... I am on your wave length Mingle!!

Naughty, naughty Virgo!! Did you add chocolate... I was on the Lindt and Glitter was on the Twix bar!!!

Bob...? Bob....? Are you out there Bob? That must be one massive hangover!!!! Ha! Hope you had a good time buddy!!

Love to all... another sunny day in Melbourne... yay! Kaz xxxxxxxx

Posted by: karen59 at August 23, 2009 9:49 AM

Mingle, I really give up a great deal of my time as do many other men and women to make sure the next generations dont conform to gender roles..........I hope this happens, I would give up my entire life for this.

I understand you are older and I am guessing its that, but I want to see these attitudes gone..................women dont have roles in society any different to mens and men dont have any different to women.

If you look around couples, I bet you could even see yourself how many men would have been the better to stay home......how many men are kinder, warmer, more stable who would be raising better children and more competitive women who would have been better in the boardroom, who didnt.

Women who stayed home and resented it, became critical bitter mothers bringing up children who needed therapy fro years in their thirties.

Men who have worked all their lives to provide who then end up empty as all they have been is a wallet.

Couples who married as they were compatible then they grew apart as the woman changed and became 'mother' and not 'lover'.

I could go on.

There is so much damage in gender roles, I couldnt even list them all

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 23, 2009 5:19 AM

Mingle, I think what you said is utterly disgusting personally and very offensive.

Men can ffed a baby,so what a woman produces milk for a few months, doesnt mean she has to deliver it.......I mean cows dont walk into your kitchen do they?

Think yourself lucky I am not in power, as I would put sexists and racists in jail and you would be sitting in a cell right now Mingle :-)

Women and men accept gender roles, following without question..........doesnt make it right and doesnt make it happy. People were using this useless pointless arguments based on race, people of different skin colour to white were saying it was okay as they had a roof for their family and food, so their treatment was okay and they didnt want to rock the boat................ask any person now and that is wrong

Sexism and gender roles in lfie are wrong, very wrong, there is no excuse

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 23, 2009 5:08 AM

It almost seems to me that some womens desires today seem to be a mirror image of themselves. Anything 'blokey' is not tolerated and even put down. I have never had a man put me down for my sporting requirements when I used to ride horses, and I wouldn't presume to put them down if they wished to watch sport on television. Surely to have a good relationship each has their own interests and pursuits and should be accepted as such.
As for cyclists or any other sports person smelling, I suppose they would now and then, male or female, so what. I feel having a man who just follows around bowing to every need would be a pretty boring person and not an individual at all. Personally I couldn't stand it and would prefer a strong minded individual who wouldn't be told what to do every five minutes.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 23, 2009 12:17 AM

Nik,

What did you mean when you mentioned to me tonight about...black knickers....I'd had far too many wines to fully understand what you were saying to me...!

Luv Virgo...:))))) xoxo

Posted by: virgowoman2 at August 22, 2009 11:03 PM

oney! its a shame you feel that way, so sad really.

Its an opinion that is based on the luxury of living in a 21st century technological society.
Take away our technology and just one common sence example starkly defines the argument - Men dont have breasts that give milk.

Attidues on role reversal would be a bit different if one was on the axe or shovel 12 hours a day to earn a living , or shear 100+ sheep in a shift, or shoveling coal in a 50c boiler roo. Thats a bit different from getting dressed in nice clean clothes and going to an airconned office where picking up the phone and walking to the tea room is the extent of physical activity for the day.

Apart from focusing on some really broad brushstrokes and generalizations - most folks are happy with the roles we have in our partnership/marriage and its nothing for anyone to be ashamed of . it only gets unfair when one or the other party is burdened with the majority of the workload.

its all good if you want to live the life you lead , hey its your life right? ) but then for the same token other people have the same right to our respect and tolerance of thier decisions to do what is right for them, no?

Posted by: mingle48 at August 22, 2009 8:55 PM

Nooooo..... Perthy!!!! David Attenborough an attractive package!!!! No, no, no, no!!! I cringe at the thought!!!

Posted by: karen59 at August 22, 2009 6:31 PM

FG, Attractive Package meaning the whole person. I am very fond of my doggy SHE is a lovely companion dog..............ya dawk !!!!

Posted by: iaminperth at August 21, 2009 8:12 PM

Lucie,

I am so passionate that HALF of stay home parents should be men, I would actually happily give my life for it to happen if I could........I am THAT passionate about it.

I cannot stand women still having views like that, I really cant

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 21, 2009 4:16 PM

I am sorry Lucie, but I sometimes feel ashamed to be female. I am hearing some stuff there that reallfy is pure sexism.

Women take the time off, women do the house stuff as well as work...........come on, what is this? Gosh, I just am gobsmacked.

You make out like whatever women do, they still have the housework and child rearing to do on top.....................women are not bound to a home, women arent house workers, women arent more parental than men, arent naturally gifted any more than men at child raising.

I am just shocked that these attitudes still exists if I am honest and feel really insulted.

A man is as good at staying home,d oing housework and raising children as any woman.....if not better............I am just flabberghasted that people still have those attitudes.

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 21, 2009 4:14 PM

Oney, change what you can, except what you can't, but ultimately be happy within yourself....

Posted by: luciemanette at August 21, 2009 1:55 PM

To Onemoreoption37 - sorry to offend.....
You are choosing to ignore the fundamentals. Not all races received the same opportunities and there is still a significant gap with career and health and for your information woman in the workplace are still being lower paid than their male conterparts. The workplace is still being male dominated not as many woman have senior roles in comparison.. how many female polititians are their compaired to males? Woman today have to raise a family and balance a work- family - life.
Before i offend any males---i do recognise that they are stepping up to domisticated duties, and assisting their partners. But it is still the woman having the babies, and taking time off from their careers.
Woman still fill in temporary positions, and their super schemes are still much lower then men's...it comes down to what you choose to believe, and what you are capable to achieve....try and view the world in shades of grey.

Yes i am someone with a trational outlook on life, nitty-gritty- issues don't particularly bother me as much as it seem to bother you...I am professionally employed in a male dominated industry, and yes i am just as capable of fixing things and able to sew as well.. I Do jump on a mower and mow an acreage, but still have to ask the male neighbour to fix the blades of the mower when they go blunt...lol, so there....

Posted by: luciemanette at August 21, 2009 12:40 PM

Glad to hear it's a beautiful day up there on the Goldy.....you have a great day Whatty...enjoy your weekend....and keep smiling...cos when you do that...the whole world smiles back at you....!!!

Virgo...:)

Posted by: virgowoman2 at August 21, 2009 11:52 AM

Virgo !
loved your post on the wee wee chubby rofl. Shrill voice > brewers droop

Crikey it must be a sad thing not to be able to manage a chubby , and thats only half way to a woody! how embarassment. At least the ladies can do a meg ryan impersonation! ( insert wicked grin here)

Posted by: mingle48 at August 21, 2009 7:22 AM

It's another beautiful sunny day on the GC. Time to get out there-with all the other happy smiling people and enjoy life : )

Posted by: whatuc09 at August 21, 2009 6:59 AM

Lucie,

Yes I find what you said about men and women to be offensive, as a woman. I find it offensive in the same way as if you branded someone based on race at being worthy of certain roles in life. However, if you want to take that role in life, the woman stereotype, then do so, I cant stop you.

I cant sew and would never do so and I am good at fixing things...........I would die rather than accept gender stereotypes....I think they are absolutely hideous and should have gone in the past along with racism and roles in life based on skin colour.

That was apparently genetic too if you remember.............noone thinks those genetic differences warrant different roles in life anymore, but ours stuck..........I would do anything to change that, anything at all

.

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 21, 2009 4:31 AM

I would have loved to have lived his life. I love his series with the hidden cameras in the stumps - absolutely amazing - one of my last gifts to my dear Mum was his book, we grew up watching is doco's and The World Around Us - have a great appreciate of nature, flora and fauna.

Posted by: aloveoflife at August 21, 2009 12:28 AM

Hey Perthy..
What you doing lookin at his package... with all that animal magnatizum... they tell me you love your doggy...!!:)))))

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 20, 2009 11:46 PM

Boof,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR BOB,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

It's your big day, I hope it's a good one for you..!!!!!

You're a really nice person, and I know all of the bloggers here think the world of
you.....:))))))))))))))

Your friend..Virgo/Lizzy.....Jan...)

Posted by: virgowoman2 at August 20, 2009 11:35 PM

Hey . . . . thanks Perth. That's the first time ever that you have been really empathetic, understanding and, well, nice to me.

Thank you. I have been through a lot and some really big changes. And you are right - I am not the self-pity type.

Wow. I'm shocked.

Thanks.
Glitter x

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 20, 2009 11:10 PM

Yeah, David Attenborough, what a hero and what an amazing voice and intensity of spirit, very attractive package.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 20, 2009 10:58 PM

Agree Glitter, Real touch of reality and honesty without being soppy. Very good example of the power of the human spirit. You have never struck me as being a self pitying person, I seem to think at the moment you are just a little pissed off and feeling a bit impatient, although not entirely sure what you are impatient about. I think once you get routine back into your life wherever that may be your decisions will come a lot easier and you'll be back on the path , or canoe, again. You've just survived and endured some big changes so would think it would be pretty normal to be a little unsettled, but it will pass. From the Mother superior in Perth, lol.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 20, 2009 10:57 PM

I moved from Qld to WA and still haven't become used to the winters here. Apparently this year we had an average of 5-1/2 hours of daylight each day. I do find that hard and miss the sunshine so much. Summer is quite a lot better but doesn't really start until about November and then it's pretty mild. Never mind, hopefully this rain and cold will stop soon as it is extremely unusual and apparently severe drought has now resulted in the dams being nearly full. That is something that hasn't happened or anywhere near happened for years. Good for the environment but a bit tedios and will be nice to see sunshine. Really heartbreaking at the early breakfasts, so many young and so many old homeless, wet and cold.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 20, 2009 10:51 PM

Perth ~ I don't watch TV as a rule (cept for Sir David Attenborough - my hero!!), but made a special effort to watch that show. He is truly amazing - an inspiration. His journey gave me just a little more perspective on my life and just how lucky I am.

Made me feel a little self-indulgent actually, self pity in my own problems - when really in comparison I have none.

I look up to people like him, I really do. What an incredible achievement and I know he is going to help many people now and in the future. For that, I love him.

So glad I made the point of watching that show.

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 20, 2009 10:23 PM

Liking oneself if the basis of self esteem:

"The tragedy is that so many people look for self-confidence and self-respect everywhere except within themselves, and so they fail in their search."

Dr Nathaniel Branden

Posted by: whatuc09 at August 20, 2009 9:54 PM

Sweetenuff67 - i am sorry, was not my attention to offend you or anybody else, but to me he was boring, we were not compatible at all.... you get sales agents, and then you get Real estate agents, and car sales agents...hmmm, should know i was one, a very successfull real estate agent that realised that communication was the essence to build the trust of clients..lol - no pun intented..

Whatuc
I got what oney was saying the first time, and understood the concept, although i don't neccessarily agree with her on some issues, but yes to a point i do agree....but again different views on issues is what makes this blog and life in a whole interesting...

Lizzie,,,thanks for that, but you are still the best of the best...yeee:)

Perthy - people are NOT equal, not by far, they share different views, they have different needs in different assets of their life different cultural up bringing .I would know, English is not my first language. Men and woman are different in so many ways - ie. men are better at fixing things, women better at mending clothes, Woman can't read maps..Men can go and relieve themselves in the bush, woman find it extremely difficult and embarrassing to say the least,,,etc.etc I am going to get shot for this, but hey, lets have a healthy conversation.
We need to fill in the gaps, I dont believe that woman and men should be each others equal, but they should complement one another.

Perthy - move to QLD - know you want to, it is summer here, absolutely gorgeous weather we have...our Temperature is raching 29 already...my winter baggies are packed away and only one blanky on my bed...

Posted by: luciemanette at August 20, 2009 9:53 PM

Sorry Perth for the weather, we're having it abnormally warm here, 29 tomorrow, 30 Sat, 31 Mon/Tues. Desperate for some rain though. Cool nights but warm days, mother nature is angry!!

Posted by: aloveoflife at August 20, 2009 9:46 PM

Absolutely 100% agree with you Perth, a 5'1 model would look unusual on the catwalk, and I wasn't suggesting that a 5'1 model would or should do catwalk, I simply stated the fact that 5'1 people can be, have been and are successful models.

Posted by: whatuc09 at August 20, 2009 9:40 PM

Perth ~ would you like some cheese with your "whine"?

Glitter >8I

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 20, 2009 9:40 PM

Oh gosh, Going to watch a programme on television of a 45 stone mans journey from Dud to Stud. He lost so much weight and now looks okay and has joined a dating agency. Unbelievable stuff!

Posted by: iaminperth at August 20, 2009 9:35 PM

Raining again in Perth and top temp tomorrow of 17 if we are lucky. Gosh, it's dark and drab here at the moment and cold........so longing for summer. It's about 6pm at the moment and almost dark. Yuk Yuk Yuk!!!!! Times like this I wish I was back in Qld.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 20, 2009 8:01 PM

Lucie, I glad that you now understand the concept that Oney was explaining. When the couple is not equal (as with Jack Spratt and his wife) they 'trade' they use their equity to reach a point that is mutually pleasing and beneficial.

Posted by: whatuc09 at August 20, 2009 6:43 PM

I thought everyone was supposed to be created equal. Seems some peoples equal is only in their own mind. And who sets the standard in the first place. If you are not comfortable with who you really are, verbally setting yourself up for a tumble is only going to end in tears. Sad really that liking oneself is such an option for some people. Any equality is something which is worked at, it doesn't happen naturally, it's all part of the process.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 20, 2009 6:10 PM

I can see a 5-1" model on the catwalk with all the really tall ones. Would look ridiculous. The tall ones would look huge and the little one a gnome. I suggest you check your facts and get realistic.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 20, 2009 6:08 PM

Posted by: luciemanette at August 20, 2009 12:53 PM

Splutter splutter... "a boring accountant" ...as an exciting..funny...non-boring accountant i take exception to your generalisation.

Next you will be saying all real estate agents are sharks..ha ha :)

Posted by: sweetenuff67 at August 20, 2009 4:30 PM

Hi John

Thanks for that and welcome to the blogs, we always welcome a male's perspective, on the various issues of the day.

Posted by: luciemanette at August 20, 2009 4:16 PM

Welcome John,

Renee's words are just so good....they are the essence of what it actually feels like...the only other word I can think to describe it is...Magic...!!!

Virgo...:)

Posted by: virgowoman2 at August 20, 2009 3:24 PM

There is a useful term that one hears relative to investments but is rarely mentioned when discussing relationships. The term is "equity." We more often hear people discuss "equality" in relationships. Unfortunately, equality is not nearly as constructive a concept for guiding a couple to creative solutions. When people discuss equality in a relationship, they usually ignore a basic reality: people are not equal. They are not equal in that needs and desires usually differ. If a couple focuses too much on trying to make things equal, they will miss opportunities for trading off their differences for mutual gain. Instead of equal responsibilities and equal opportunities in a relationship, a couple is better off strategizing complementary trade-offs:
Jack Spratt could eat no fat.
His wife could eat no lean.
But in betwixt the two of them,
They licked the platter clean.

Posted by: luciemanette at August 20, 2009 1:57 PM

Thanks Lizzie, yes i see the trent, well, just like you i am a music boofhead..loveeee Doof-Doof--in my car, volume turned all the way up, as i do a lot of highway driving, living out of town, so music is essential as the radio bore me to death.... at home turn the volume up and dance around the room, and while cleaning with a broom in my hand, hahahah, you can formulate your own vision on that one...Especially my south african collection, its called "Sakkie Sakkie" really nice dance music...lov it, lurve it.....think the neigbours might not enjoy it all the time though....
Ahhh Lizzie, the night of the party, ahhhh, was incredible, danced to abba music untill i run into mr perfect....hey i went for a walk yesterday avo, and he drove passed me, waved,,,turned around, came back said hello....hmmm had a bit of a chat and he took off, Chemistry Dolllll, it is there..... again think his my senior by about 7 to 9 years, not totally sure, bit on the grey side, have a bit of a beer gut,,and acknowledged that while we talking, rather funny, hmm not bad, really......BUT, he has this incredible blue eyes, with little devils in them, laughing back at me when i our eyes lock,,,i can drown in those eyes.....can't get this bugger out of my head, and his just living down the road....

Posted by: luciemanette at August 20, 2009 1:18 PM

Mingle, you have the right idea...
Younger age groups think different that the older ones. Somehow as you get older certain things don't matter as much, contentment is a far better option, than to constantly try and find faults in others.
It is much healthier to bounce ideas of one another, than ridicule others for their views.
Maybe we should consider the old saying, "don't get your possibilities mixed up with your own capabilities and probabilities." When one choose to use Photoshop to enhance your photo's on here, you are not being honest to yourself or others. People with uncomplete profiles don't do much for me either, cause they hiding something...

Posted by: luciemanette at August 20, 2009 1:03 PM

Hi Lizzie,
I've been given this blog a lot of thought in the last few days. Every single one of us on here, will fall head over heels when they find that spark, no matter what. I can honestly say to me it is not about looks, or age. I am constantly attracted to men, 7 to 10 years my senior, i was in a long term relationship with a man 12 years my senior, married to a man 7 years my senior, neither of them had much in the line of looks or money. My ex an boring accountant, and became a regional manager during our married life. I supported him as being the wife of....to my own downfall. Strong personalities support their partners but need their own success as well, my ex was more than happy for me to be the stay at home women, having my own interests, lacking of his support, recognition and appreciation, henced the marriage was doomed.
I do recognise the fact that we are attracted to people with the same values and interests, but there needs to be a difference as well, - there should be a balance between personalities in any form of relationship. This is evident in a professional work environment as well. As teams function extremely well when people in that team balance each other. We can't all be good in doing the same thing. A culture where different people from different walks of life, with different views on various issues communicate their differences, That makes for an healthy fun environment. Communication is of the essence here, and in our personal lifes.

Posted by: luciemanette at August 20, 2009 12:53 PM

Mingle,

You made me fall off my chair laughing...I haven't heard the word chubby used for such a long time...!!

I remember hearing someone talk about a problem that effects guys sometimes....it was a phenomenon known as a wee wee chubby....I rolled around laughing when I heard it then too...!!

I hope this gets posted, cos I'm still giggling at it...!!!

Virgo with a shrill voice...:)))

Posted by: virgowoman2 at August 20, 2009 12:42 PM

My first post on here, I had no plans to start posting but I just have to say what a lovely description of "the spark". Thankyou so much for posting that luciemanette, and yes it certainly is the one thing we are all looking for, hopefully we will find it sooner rather than later.

John

Posted by: johnj71 at August 20, 2009 12:38 PM

Renee,

Well done, you nailed it.....that's THE SPARK...!!!!

It's the feeling we're all looking for...I think it's the benchmark....!!!

Virgo...:) xoxo

Posted by: virgowoman2 at August 20, 2009 12:04 PM

I dunno folks , its allways been different for me. I could never choose my partner based on her being a possesion who would make me look good or be my ego boost as we walked in public.
Sure, there is no denying it, there are ladies who have all the attributes and the benefits of photoshop in the mags and yes they can evoke a chubby , but that's only with the benefit of fantasy. Add a shrill voice to that piccy and that evaporates very quickly /shudder .
Every woman is beautiful , hold her close , kiss her softly and see her emotions for you shining from her face....

Posted by: mingle48 at August 20, 2009 12:03 PM

Hey Renee,

You make me smile...love your new pics, it looks like it was a great night..!

I've noticed going through a lot of the profiles of guys my age, that there is a trend for not liking doof doof music...!

I'm slowly beginning to think I'm a real froot loop cos I love it..!

There's nothing like getting in my car, wind in my hair, driving home up the freeway with my doof doof music loud as....or dancing round the loungeroom while I'm trying to vacuum...oh.....it's so good...!!!

Virgo...:) xoxo

Posted by: virgowoman2 at August 20, 2009 10:17 AM

Perth - not all models are tall. Natalie Portman was a successful model before she was ever an actress and she is 5'3.......I suggest in future you check your facts.

Posted by: whatuc09 at August 20, 2009 10:12 AM

Thanks Nik...we all have our own imposed values, morals and conditions to matches...What is important to me, might not neccessarily be the case with anyone else....Personally i look for a spark...
well it's a bit elusive in truth and I've only now just come to realise just how hard it is to explain, but here goes I'll give it a shot.

The spark can vary as to when it hits, sometimes it can be instantaneous, like an moment that takes your breath away or other times it can come once you've known a person for a little while and something they say/ do stops you in your tracks and can change your feeling for them completely.
The spark is how I know I'm truly attracted to someone, it's that feeling you get when you see someone and admire what you see and feel you must learn more. The spark is a physical feeling. It is something that happens to you, it gives you a jolt, makes your heart skip a beat, it can give your stomach butterflies, it can make you lose appetite. A spark however is not lust, lust is ongoing and a continuum, the spark is that initial buzz that starts the lust off. The spark just is. When you've met someone and you get that pang, then that's the spark. They're few and far between but they exist. They're certainly special and definitely unique but always coming with it is the feeling that something great is occurring....

Posted by: luciemanette at August 20, 2009 9:26 AM

Hi all
i took up the challenge, kissed a bloke age 60 - that is 19 years my senior and bold, over weight, received a kiss back thanks enjoy your search,,,heheheheh
Personaly I would much rather be an Old Man's Darling, than a YOUNG man's slave...
Can't see myself dating someone much younger than me as i would prefer to look up to a man, NOT down on him, Don't want a playboy.....

Posted by: luciemanette at August 20, 2009 8:59 AM

There is no spoon......

Posted by: mingle48 at August 20, 2009 2:22 AM

I've forgotton what the topic is, oh the telephone that;'s right, sidetracked with dead bodies etc. Cold here again and raining again and Broadband didn't work tonight again. Oh well. Models, empty headed freaks of nature most of them. Only a few make it big time and they are just very hard working business people who are very tall, not 5'-1". Modelling is a business if they are going to make it and not all about looks. If you pull some of them apart they are downright ugly feature wise and most cannot stand the pace of full time work. Very very few make it to the top and others cop out with boredom. One of my daughters friends from school was 'discovered' at aged 15. She is now in New York modelling but is finding it hard work and she has lost all those years of schooling. She is earning heaps and getting a lot of work and is now about 19 years old but a lot missing in her life. We're hoping she gets back to Aust. some time but she's certainly doing some pretty terrific work over there.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 19, 2009 11:23 PM

Oh Puleeeeze Glitter, Depends where the corpse is, I'm not going to a bogan suburb you know, preferably nice beach with good accommodation and room for the dog. I'll provide the tub of salt.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 19, 2009 11:12 PM

Hi Lizzie,

Slowly....very very slowly!!!

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 19, 2009 10:38 PM

rob@9.25 pm.......hey ! not that I'd know!!!!
Rob :))

Posted by: yeahitsme2 at August 19, 2009 10:32 PM

Bob,

How on Earth do you kill yourself with a spoon...?

Virgo...:)

Posted by: virgowoman2 at August 19, 2009 10:31 PM

Yeah Bob.....wooden or a plastic one...
Rob

Posted by: yeahitsme2 at August 19, 2009 10:28 PM

Hey Rob,

A spoon seems a pretty good choice

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 19, 2009 9:34 PM

hey Glitter,

I refuse to answer on the grounds of incrimination....and senile....what did you say again!!!

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 19, 2009 9:30 PM

Hey Bob.......join the queue.....wot ya gonna use ?????
Rob :))))))))

Posted by: yeahitsme2 at August 19, 2009 9:25 PM

I walked down to the beach tonight, I noticed a couple of people on there but it was pretty quiet. I came back and on my way, went into the coffee shop and got a hot chocolate with raspberry. The flowers are starting to come out in the gardens around the pool :-)

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 19, 2009 8:47 PM

Oh Bob. Puleeeze. Dramaqueenbobby.

Rule No 1. No killing yourself and making a mess on the carpet

Rule No 2. Should one kill oneself and mess up said carpet - neighbour is to call Perth who will fly instantly over will a bag of salt.

Rule No 3. NEVER EVER RUB THE STAIN - NEVERRR!

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 19, 2009 8:39 PM

FG @ 6.02 ~ oh puke. Bro-oh!

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 19, 2009 8:36 PM

Hey Kaz,

Happy 50....the new 60...!!!!

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 19, 2009 8:36 PM

Hey Lizzie,

No-one over 50...god, I feel completely unworthy of being alive...I might just go away and slit my wrists!!

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 19, 2009 7:07 PM

Hi Onemore
I am reading your post, not once, not twice, as a matter a fact i got what you are saying the first time around, but i share different values to you. I am NOT a feminest, i am not that liberal, and if a man start asking me if he may,... call me such and such and can do this and that, I will most certainly go crasy, I do prefer a man to be a real man, and actually use his brain....

FG date at many models or none as you can, if you can,,,it is all about choices. What ever works for you...

Lizzie, go girl...

Posted by: luciemanette at August 19, 2009 6:32 PM

Hey Oney... You want me.. you just don't know it yet...:)

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 19, 2009 6:02 PM

Virgo.....absolutely right. Noone wants a good looking empty and equally noone wants a lovely person who does nothing for them.....there has to be some kind of physical connection or a real need for something else (be it security, money, a father figure, someone who dotes on them).

FG, very predictable response on the model front my friend :-) I think every man I challenge with that one responds how his ex was a model, how he has dated lots of models....that whole male ego thing is a cracker to mess around with.

FG, I used to BE a model, a short one, but a fairly successful one, not through choice, didnt like it, didnt do as much as I could but always got dragged back in by being approached places. I know many models still and all of them date footie players, musicians, or sometimes sugar daddies. I dont know one who would go for a slightly above average looking guy, with an average down to earth job etc etc.......it just doesnt make sense, unless as I say, she has personality issues and the guy is a real 'motherer' and sorts her life out, keeps her on track.............the slighty bend to that rule is when you get the wanabee models.......as in they arent, but they had a photo done once or twice as a model agency who charged them a few hundred dollars for the proviledge after telling them they could....or they did some tacky fetish underwear shops photocopied catalouge....they are not models. The main point is, models ARE social climbers, I too know a lot, I was one, they dont stay models if they arent. They are driven by power, cool and status.....its why I would only do it now and again rather than full time. Now i couldnt model a hammer in a hardware store, but the point is....................come on.........who you kidding Feelgood?

I too have dated models, my last but one ex is a mens health model still.......................we all have these stories to tell, men however, really over emelish on it. I have dated several male models, who have also been millionaires to boot and had huge.........hearts :-)

As I say, I predicted that response.............think I bruised your ego a lot there huh FG......but realistically, did you think you werent giving something to a model if you were ever really with one? Do you think you werent paying for it somewhere? You arent a model man, you have to admit that, so surely, you must have known somewhere, you were offering them something, whether it be a bit of support in a bad time in thier life, or a shoulder to cry on, a bit of TLC when they were in need, or whatever it was.................they had more looks than you and you had more of something than them, there was a trade, even if it wasnt money.

Come on though, seriously Feelgood, who are you kidding........??

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 19, 2009 12:57 PM

I'm going to do a Perthy now.....

It's a beautiful day here at the moment, the sun is shining, and I've just been out the front sweeping after the big winds we've had. I'm going to go and do some shopping this afternoon, and then have dinner with my beautiful daughter and her handsome fiancee.

You make me smile Perthy......Virgo...:) xoxo

Posted by: virgowoman2 at August 19, 2009 12:50 PM

Oney,

I can't play that game.....I have my self imposed rules that I will not go lower than 45 or higher than 50...so I can't participate..!

For me, yes, looks are the first thing that attracts me...whether that's on here, or in a bar or restaurant. Then I have to find out whether there is any substance underneath the looks...if not...I move on...if there is...I want to know more...!!

But there has to be a spark for me...!

Virgo...:)

Posted by: virgowoman2 at August 19, 2009 12:02 PM

and i'm emailing mum.. 20 years older...!!!

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 19, 2009 12:02 PM

Hi all
I've never said looks don't matter. But they do fade. I married a model, have dated models i am in contact with a few now, going on a date this week with one, have model friends and know one of hugh's girls. And i can't tell you from experience they are not like onemore is making them out to be. Most just want a down to earth guy they can fall in love with. I've done modelling myself and view it as an occupation, not an ego trip. I can also tell you i don't find the skinny types appealing at all... (each to their own) think they all need a good feed of spaghetti. I have been on dates with woman that are 10 years older, 10 kgs more, more wealth, srtippers, house wifes, hookers, single mums, dates with unseen photos cause i like the way their profile read. you name it. All of these people are right for that someone, just not me.
I've never once thought of bragging about going on a date with an attractive person, just giving them a complement.

Rob i understand onemore's post and can agree with some of it. I live in the real world, don't chase unrealistic dreams and I don't watch TV.

I sent a kiss to whatcu as i think she has a great profile, not my type looks wise but i would get to know her. And i'm going to send a kiss to onney cause she is not my cuppa tea either..., But Onemore i'll be on the Gold Coast late September... So put your money where you mouth is.

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 19, 2009 11:58 AM

Opposites attract is 'natural' !! complete and utter codswallop. In the animal kingdom the odd one out is kicked out of the pack or killed !! When people are choosing a partner - btw this is a scientifically proven fact, they tend to go for someone with similar features. The only 'opposite' that people 'choose' is based on immunities ie we find the odour of someone who is immunilogically different to us more attractive as it makes healthier children-again scientific fact. Seriously-when you look at profiles do you choose someone who is completely and utterly opposite to you, or do you look for someone with similar interests ? answer = similar interests. We choose the interesting differences that we can live with ie you man me woman, lol, seriously though, we do look for similarities, they's why we gel with someone, that where the spark comes from - a shared passion and yes virgos would kill each other because they're perfectionists and they would compete...I'm a virgo myself. 2 models probably wouldn't date either, because the majority of models like to hoard money and assets, and they couldn't do that with another model, also a lot of models are after power, money etc...Look at Carla Brunei and Christy Hinze !! Heidi Klum is an anomally and I admire her greatly for it-she chose a man with a beautiful soul..apart from Heidi how many 'top' models date/marry mere mortals ?? And Jen Hawkins doesn't count, she's a lovely girl from Newcastle who happened to win a beauty pageant-and she's still dating the man who loved her BEFORE the win.

Posted by: whatuc09 at August 19, 2009 9:08 AM

Oh and by the way, I have just had a lovely email from a man physically out of my league.......he was better looking than me.......however, his words were of encouragement, not trying to date me.

Yes, if I could drop 2 dress sizes, we would be a match, but I would be an idiot to think he would be interested, he just liked my profile and wrote to offer support........no agenda.

I am realistic.........hence I dont get frustrated or feel ran about

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 19, 2009 7:00 AM

Here is a mission for you all today then :-)

Lets make this a bit more fun and step it up a notch.

Every one of you who says looks dont matter at all, its only the heart, your mission for today is:

Each one of you has to send a kiss (and a genuine one, not to each other on here), it has to be with the intention of getting to know them.......and send that kiss to someone at LEAST 10 years older than yourself and at LEAST 10 kilos over your own weight.

You have to send kisses and go out on a date with someone of that criteria and give them a genuine chance in your life.

If you cant do that, you are indeed telling porkies about looks not mattering.

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 19, 2009 6:58 AM

Lucie, you arent reading my post at all.

Its EQUAL.....or its TRADE

So supermodel would go for less attractive ief he had MONEY

Artist may go for non artist if they had MONEY to SUPPORT them.

Successful business person may go for a non successful business person if they other is prepared to give more care, put more effort in.

There are trades, but dont think its not all equal and paid for in the end.

Google it, its sometimes called buckets, sometimes bins and sometimes baskets............but god, just about every psychologist in the world knows about it

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 19, 2009 6:12 AM

Karen, to you I am sure he is good looking and thats fine. As I say, within someones boundaries (people like themselves) they find those people attractive.

I am saying, that I dont think FeelGood is that deluded, or silly to think he can date really really good looking women without having a pay back somewhere else. For example, yes he could date a supermodel with a personality disorder if he is a very giving person who would sort her life out and be overly caring so put more effort into the relationship.

No I dont think, all being equal, Feelgood could no, if I am honest. I know to you ladies you all think he is gorgeous looking..........I date typically 32-36 year old men and no, to me he isnt up there at the top (sorry Feelgood this is just a point being made and you are not this stupid I am sure to think you are).

So if he comes online telling people he has dated a stunning woman, or is going to date a stunning woman or wants to datea stunning woman............whats he bringing to the party.

Come on guys.................if Is at here and told you guys I could date a male model you would be tearing me a new one. I know you all have a softspot for him, but he isnt that stupid, seriously he isnt.

Ego is a dangerous thing......feeding it isnt doing favours. Like I say, he isnt unattractive, but he isnt top of his tree either as a physical specimen........and no I am not saying I am ............but if I tried, if I claimed I could get supermodels.........you guys would have ripped me to shreds.

I know you like his charming of you ladies........but it is a valid and genuine subject.................just think about it for a while.

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 19, 2009 6:10 AM

Hey guys and gals.......you just don't get what onemore is saying...do you????
I think you have all been watching too much Hollywood crap and have become dissilusioned with your own lives and are seeking fantasies which will never materialise.........very sad...
Rod :((((

Posted by: yeahitsme2 at August 18, 2009 11:18 PM

As humans we are programmed to learn from one another, fill in the missing link. That is why its called the "other half". That is what makes life and partnerships interesting.

Very well said Miss Lucie!! well done my fellow Qld blogger, Nik x

Posted by: aloveoflife at August 18, 2009 11:05 PM

go back to the facts of nature, Opposites attract... i dont want to date or form relationships with somebody totally similar to me, how incredible boring - an artist for an artist - please no way....2 crasy artists together, you kidding me aren't you.... he will take over my studio, my canvasses, that sounds like a nightmare. Trust me two virgos don't work together either, 2 perfectionist ....way too picky, if he moves my stuff around, i will have the fits.. 2 people in the same industry could work, but they will come home discussing work related issues, all the time... believe you me...can see definite problems arising out of that one. Don't get me wrong, sharing some ideals and interests are good, but not totally and utterly the same in every shape form and description...And just don't get me started on the earning capacity, so if you earn a 100k you expect him to earn the same amount..so if he earns double the amount then you not equal, heavens forbid if he earns less. If you drive a sports car, his 4 w/d won't do. You never, ever see two models ending up together, they will both be checking themselves out in the mirror, and crave attention, Ask yourself why are so many celebrities not staying together for long...

As humans we are programmed to learn from one another, fill in the missing link. That is why its called the "other half". That is what makes life and partnerships interesting.

Posted by: luciemanette at August 18, 2009 9:58 PM

Hey onemore, are you suggesting that FG is not good looking?... therefore not a match for a supermodel...? I think he is a darn fine specimen myself!!! (Don't be getting a big head FG!) And as for supermodels... many of them are skeletons wrap in skin with vacant eyes and emotionless faces... who thinks that's attractive!? Beauty certainly IS in the eye of the beholder!!

Posted by: karen59 at August 18, 2009 9:34 PM

Alove, those girls with Hugh Heffner, they get a life they wouldnt have, money they wouldnt have, a career after the time they spend with him.......to them that is important enough to be able to hold onto the vomit.

So long as people arent asking for what they dont have to offer, unless they are offering something else in replacement, I have no problem. Its when you get these Joe Average looking guys, running around trying to get very beautiful women with nothing to offer other than a large deluded ego.......then they whinge they get the run around, things dont pan out, she stops replying or doesnt seem keen.

Age yes Jen, age does come into that equation too, of course it does......................older men or women are happily trading things they have more of with younger men and women who have more of other things...............all in all there HAS to be equality there.

Sometimes its the simple thing of a father mother figure..................someoen who is more responsible, giving and kind.......sometimes its money and sometimes, yes its looks. My point being, no Feelgood knows he cant get a very very beautiful woman all being equal, I dont think he is remotely stupid or deluded about that.

I just think people get very sore when the looks thing is mentioned, when it seems okay to drop a guy as he cant type correctly, or doesnt sound too bright........or because he seems a bit lost, or doesnt seem to have his life together, or a whole heap of other things.

Think about the reasons you have said no thanks to men and women on here...............really, are they any better than 'you arent really physically good for me?'

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 18, 2009 9:26 PM

Oh and Rob, glad you got it :-)

The fact is, to the 60 year old 30 stone man, his 60 year old 25 stone wife is the most beautiful woman to him. To him, she is attractive, to him she is who he desires.

Its not about being better, its about being equal.

I am sure there isnt a person in this room who would want to have a relationship with someone 10 stone heavier and 20 years older than themselves, or someone who wasnt very well educated, bad speller, talked like they had a mouth full of nuts........no matter how kind a heart they had........so lets be realistic, looks do matter.........its only some people are a little deluded about what their equal is....and others dont give themselves enough credit

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 18, 2009 9:01 PM

Ahhhh feelgood, you go and get those pearls...who say you can't...

Posted by: luciemanette at August 18, 2009 8:26 PM

oney, i got a sneaky feeling you do know who i'm talking about.

Do you?

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 18, 2009 8:19 PM

gosh, You're only meeting someone for a coffee or a drink........there's no big deal ! If you get on well, that's great, if you don't, well that's online dating. I think people are expecting too much from first meeting and maybe passing up some terrific types out there.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 18, 2009 8:18 PM

Equals? Not so sure about this one, think Rod Stewart/Penny Lancaster, Donald Trump and his model wife, what about Hugh Hefner and his bunnies (ewwww don't go there - ever) then I guess equals in looks and success Randy Gerber and Cindy Crawford - just trying to think of what makes a good trade off. I guess the first two and the last example are trade offs but Hugh Hefner - double paper bag job.

I think if you meet the right person regardless of looks or possessions, if there is a click then that is it. I would have to say that I will agree with FG on this one, happiness is more important that material things or looks - looks fade. I don't care what a man does as a profession as long as he does it with integrity and is happy. Seems simple to me.

Posted by: aloveoflife at August 18, 2009 8:11 PM

Date a surper model if she had something to trade.. you feeling ok..? Not everyone thinks like that.
Proven theroy... by who..? you?
I don't ask anything. it's called love. Maybe you should try it.
Good luck in YOUR search..

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 18, 2009 8:05 PM

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 18, 2009 7:09 PM

There is nothing wrong with aspiring to more in a relationship. More than what you have had in the past. Things haven't worked in the past for whatever reason. We are therefore looking for different in our new relationships.

If we wish to expand ourselves... the way to do that is to be mixing it with those different to ourselves. This is how we grow and learn.

In the most part like does attract like. I do agree with you there BUT we can change that if we want to. If we WANT different we have to DO different.

Just thinking also in your theories Onemore.. How does age fit into the equasion?

And Feelgood I'd reckon any supermodel or woman would be very happy dating you!

Jen

Posted by: jen234 at August 18, 2009 8:02 PM

I think you miss my point.

Okay, beauty IS different things to different people. The perfect partner IS different things to different people. You find hearts go for hearts, art goes for arty, intellect goes for fellow boffin and looks go for looks.................when that changes if one partner has more of one thing and less than another.

So yes, you Feelgood, or even a 45 year old overweight bald man can date a supermodel if she is lacking somewhere you have a 'full basket'...........such as the easiest and most obvious to understand, if you had money, she would happily foregoe her physical match for your financial benefits.

However, those relationships are more doomed to failure, so a relationship between you and a very stunning woman would have more chance of failure as it wasnt an equal and balanced one. Balanced equal relationships through all, such as yes, looks, intellect, spiritual, morals, personality, financial being as evenly matched as possible are the most successful relationships.

My point is, you dating a very stunning supermodel type wouldnt be a good bet.....simply as it wouldnt be equal.............but then there would be more said about you if you were chasing that............such as ego etc etc, such as what I spoke about earlier about people boasting about things that arent real, such as sexual prowess and how good looking their exes were.

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 18, 2009 7:39 PM

FG - sorry i wasnt finished....the point i am trying to make is,,you go with your instincts, your gut feeling, you will eventually get the answers to...You come across as somebody that knows exacly what he wants - You have got what it takes -so you go and get it....
I know i was teasing you in previous post, pay no attention to my sillyness.....:)

Posted by: luciemanette at August 18, 2009 7:30 PM

FG
Agree with you 100 percent, equal to me mean being happy and content in a relationship, i don't care what he look like, what car or 4w/d he has, what his toys are, boats, bilkes, shed stuff..what he does for a living as long as he is professionally employed, and he should be happy with his career as i am with mine I dont care how rich or poor for that matter he is, we can work together. I dont care where he lives, we can again work on the issue,
What i do care about, is that he will be my best friend, lover, partner in every sense of the word, that he satisfy me mentally and emotionally as well as physically, that he will support my wild ideas or be happy with having quiet times.
Being equal mean different things to different people, what you might find attractive is not going to be attractive to someone else. Everybody have their own set of vertues. To me, and this has always been the case,,i click with somebody or i don't,,,easy as that .....no in betweens..I look at somebody's eyes first and foremost those are the windows to your soul....I dont have a rule book, wont intend to follow one, i play by my own rules, If we wont click there and then, we wont ever....

Posted by: luciemanette at August 18, 2009 7:25 PM

Simply feelgood, as a supermodel, a very attractive woman would date a very attractive, model like man of course.

People date similar to themselves.

NO, what I said feelgood was for example, if you were more wealthy and the woman was very beautiful, she may forgo the physical equality for financial stability she doesnt have for example.

If a woman was a great person, was equal in heart, intellect, spirit, soul, lifestyle, income, values, morals etc etc but was stunning......of course it would be niaive and silly to think she wouldnt be dating a stunning man.

People go for similar to themselves, or what they perceive, often either people are insecure and have low sefl esteem so go for less than they deserve......then you have others who think they deserve more.

So yes, I guess you could date a supermodel if you had something she didnt to trade with her with.

My view, also a proven theory, its equality or its trade...............if you are prepared to trade, then all good, if you are prepared to only ask for your equal, its all good........its when you want what you dont deserve, its when you run into problems.............such as the oodles of men wanting a giving, kind, warm beautiful woman, when he is none of those things as an example.

I think people should only ask for what they have to offer...............nothing more, nothing less........and mainly, people seem to go one way or the other, either asking for less than they deserve, or more and have nothing to trade............hence all the angst, the bitterness and the resentment.

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 18, 2009 7:09 PM

Hi Onemore
Just curious, do you know who i'm talking about by any chance...?

Equal..? To me is not measured by anything else other than happiness.
What makes you think i'm not likey to date a super model..?
I'm not really sure of your point. 4th paragraph down you say a super model would date a super model, then under that you have mentioned it's about being different.?

The only way a relationship can survive in my eyes is through happiness. Money looks charm whatever fades if your not happy.
I don't expect anything other to share goals and be happy in love. That's my equal.

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 18, 2009 4:37 PM

FG,

You know what will make you feelgood...go for it Sunny Jim.....you are fairly intuitive when it comes to women..!!

Mum...:) xoxo

Posted by: virgowoman2 at August 18, 2009 1:51 PM

FeelGood,

I am just curious, do you believe the women you approach are 'equal'?

I find it often goes one way or the other, either people go for less than they deserve, or they think they deserve more than they do.

As I say, I am shocked most men who approach me would think we were a match physically in about 70 percent of cases, mentally in about 80 percent of cases and emotionally in about 50% but they still send the kiss....when its as clear as day there is no equality on any level there.

Its not being superior, its just being equal...................of course i am sure you dont think you are likely to date a supermodel with a PhD and does lots of charity work, as she would be dating a supermodel man with a PhD and who does charity work.

Its about being different, people have baskets, some fuller than others, its either trade or equality. For example FG, if you were dating a very good looking woman, the likelyhood is you have something she wants, be it money, a really kind nature which she doesnt have.

Its not about superiority, its about equality

People go for their equals................unless they are unrealistic about what they have ot offer in what they expect to gain, then people end up single a very long time and getting bitter and twisted about it.

As I said, you wouldnt be interested in dating me, doesnt mean you are superior, it just means I am not your type, we arent equals, maybe match is a better word to use.

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 18, 2009 1:01 PM

Hi guys..

I just responded to her kiss, sight unseen, name unknown. I was interested in that person going by her profile. We had things in common.... that's how it goes..
I am however in contact with others.., so all i'm intending at this stage is simply meet up for chat over a coffee. I never judge a book by it's cover but i do know what i'm looking for in a partner. An equal.. nothing more or less. I don't view anybody as a superior rank. We all breath air, eat, crap and die. (and pay taxes) If i make eye contact to anybody in the street i'll say hello. No matter what the age, shape, colour, fruity or not.

I'm looking for the right pearl and won't settle for anything less... I've been through the rinnger before and i wouldn't wish it upon anybody.

Oh and Amber, there's a hidden pearl in every woman...

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 18, 2009 12:07 PM

FG
You need to seed a very ugly, smelly oyster, and then be patient, wait two years for a maybe not so good pearl to form....all pearl farmers would like to see the perfectly big round ones to have formed inside the oyster, but alas.....
:) wink - wink

Posted by: luciemanette at August 18, 2009 10:52 AM

Sorry FG, *hangs head* couldn't help myself!

Posted by: amberlight58 at August 18, 2009 9:38 AM

Gosh FG,
And all this time we thought you were looking for a woman!

Posted by: amberlight58 at August 18, 2009 9:37 AM

FG
Not all pearls turn out to be quality gems.
They come in all shapes and forms, and take some time to mature, your pearl might not have reached the harvesting stage yet.

Posted by: luciemanette at August 18, 2009 9:14 AM

Ah, well you know where you find pearls don't you FG... in a very ugly shell!!! Kaz :)

Posted by: karen59 at August 18, 2009 8:45 AM

Pearls aren't fish...but not all pearls mature into quality pearls either again depends on where you fishing.....up here people chase the big barra, those that never catch anything is quiet happy with whiting.....

Posted by: luciemanette at August 18, 2009 8:02 AM

FG, so long as you are an Edwin you will be fine then.

You know so long as you are what you are looking for, you have no problems, its when you are looking to upgrade there comes problems. Lots of people out there looking for the best, when they arent....thats never going to happen.

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 18, 2009 4:52 AM

Hey FG.......you wont get a pearl unless you open a smelly oyster.......looks like a peg on the nose for you......
Rob :~((

Posted by: yeahitsme2 at August 18, 2009 12:47 AM

Personally I prefer the salmon to the sardines. They actually have a sardine festival here in downtown Perth , another woopee moment on the entertainment calendar here. People flock to eat the little boney stinky things. They are cooked all sorts of ways, fried boney little squirmy things. some covered in sauce, people just eat them, line up to eat them, tragic lives. They also have another thrilling festival, truffles. You can taste them and you can watch a dog digging for them. Personally travelling about an hour in traffic to watch a dog dig in dirt is not my idea of fun but thousands go there also, another woopee moment in downtown Perth. They are still debating here whether to have extended trading hours, it's so sad at times.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 17, 2009 11:46 PM

All smells a bit fishy to me... You can have the sardines and samon for that matter... I'm looking for a pearl.

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 17, 2009 11:09 PM

Hey Guys,

I think if you ever are lucky enough to meet that person that makes you a shot duck...you will do whatever it takes. Lifes too short to let that person go...and if they are going to take time and effort and sacrifice...it will only be time...you wont see any of it as an effort or a sacrifice.

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 17, 2009 9:17 PM

Hey Oney,

I do exactly what you are saying...I always ask (even my friends) if I can call and when...and what is a goid time for them. I see it as respecting their space and privacy. I have made a couple of surprise calls, but usually when we have been talking by email for a while and I want to make a direct comment. I always say "tell me to bugger off when you need to".

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 17, 2009 8:55 PM

onemoreoption37......wise words Bravo :)))......beauty IS in the eyes of the beholder . Persons who bragg about their conquests....are very immature and usually haven't been there .
Rob :))

Posted by: yeahitsme2 at August 17, 2009 7:53 PM

Plenty of fish in the sea, but not many are served as a lightly grilled salmon steak with steamed greens, wasabi mash, and melting garlic and herb butter.
Sometimes, you've got to try the sardine, whiting, and leatherjacket. They are still good fish, have great qualities, and are great beer-battered and served with chips. Just have to look beyond the superficialities, which inevitably degrade over time. And hope that the other guy enjoying salmon steak chokes on the bones - no pun intended.

Finding the "One" is a two-way street... Guy's and girls alike are searching for the ultimate fish dish...

Posted by: luciemanette at August 17, 2009 7:50 PM

Oney... you drunk ??

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 17, 2009 7:07 PM

In response to feelgood76 at August 14, 2009 6:19 PM

I have a different opinion than most of the other replies to your dilemma. I actually don't think she is playing games at all. Her reply " yes she would like to catch up" is the response I would give if a man asked me that. What were you hoping she would say .. for her to suggest the time and place?

In my own experience with RSVP, the men I find the most appealing are the ones after a couple of emails ask me if they can call me. When I give them my number, they then email me again and ask what day/night would be most convenient to catch me, and what time would suit me. When I let them know when the best times are, they usually email again and let me know which day and time they plan to call me and if this doesn't suit could I let them know.

This sets boundaries for both parties. There is an expectation of respect for each others time from the get go.

I get a lot of men saying they want to talk to me, but if they don't tell me when they plan to call, and I happen to be at work when they call, or in the movies....well I want them to try again and make definite plans.

Saying you want to "catch up" can sound half hearted...if she is like me she would be thinking that if you really wanted to see her you would make more definite plans.

My 0.2 :)

Posted by: whenharrymetme at August 17, 2009 6:53 PM

Hey FG... I don't feel so bad if a good looking guy like you is having the same difficulties as the rest of us on this site. Helps me to take a more "Whatever" type approach to this site.

About my nieces FG, the one who is the lawyer has been dating someone for about 2 months now and that is going quite well. But prior to that she was on RSVP!! Just missed out!!

The Pharmacist remains single and lives on the Sunshine Coast. I am trying to convince her to give RSVP a go... so I will let you know!! Wink Wink!!!! Kaz :)

Posted by: karen59 at August 17, 2009 6:18 PM

Of course I don't think that, it was a cut and paste from a previous. Wasn't me who said it and I just did a cut and paste to try to see what it meant. Went shopping this morning and then to the beach with the dog. Two young guy there wind surfing. I don't know how they do it. They must be so strong to hold onto those things when the wind really starts to blow and hit the waves at the same time. Really pretty though, but a bit blowy today.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 17, 2009 5:01 PM

Hi guys...this is my first time...lol...I had a look at your profile.FG...why are you so concerned? people do what they do..and it's a good idea to meet and date and get to know many people...before you decide on someone whom you may want to spend exclusive time with...until then....give yourself all the options...my mum always said "don't put all your eggs in one basket...." you read like a lovely person....enjoy the adventure... Willow

Posted by: willow46 at August 17, 2009 4:45 PM

Sorry I dont think I made my point very well actually.............ummmm sorry.

What it was FG, is if someone is always chasing traditionally very attractive women and declaring what stud muffins they are, then yes, thats superficial. However, for example, I am 4 years out of your age range and 2 dress sizes out, but I dont consider you superficial for not being interested in me...if that makes sense.

Superficial is thrown around far too much I think, when it should be reserved purely for the men and women who go around purely fixated on one thing, whether it be looks or money.....as usually you find the one chasing doesnt have it themselves.

That was more my point

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 17, 2009 4:09 PM

Sorry I pressed send too soon there, of course FG, those women are going to be beautifufl to you, its your taste!!!! I have heard this 'I have had the most beautiful women' from in fact, most men.........you should find them beautiful to date them, whether beautiful to you is a 60 year old grey haired school mistress type, or a 23 year old bubbly blonde with a tan...........its whats beautiful to each individual.

I cringe when I hear the chants of "I have dated models, stunning women, beautiful blah blah'.............as thats says more about them than the women they dated..........we have ALL dated gorgeous people I am sure...........I have even dated a couple of male models, but dont have to tell people I have dated the most handsome men.

Thats my point made :-)

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 17, 2009 4:03 PM

Good for you FG

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 17, 2009 4:00 PM

Hi guys

Well I agree with most (if not all) with whats been said.

Glitter
I've been on this site for eight months, in that time i've had a resonable amount of interest.. I've also sent kisses out, been out on dates and had a few knock backs... including one from Bob! Just to clarify the situation, I'm in no rush to find the one. I've been through just about every situation a relationship can endura and now choose wisely in looking for a partner.

Perthy
she's is keeping me on the hook no doubt.. No one likes to be plan B but i'm not at all worried. She is a confident attractive young woman, tho maybe a little shy of online dating..? The phone call was for 40 odd minuets and 30 of them was about her. ..!?? I like to have a conversation over lunch or out someplace where i can read the mood.., then take things from there. That's me. each to their own.

Onemore
I have been with some of the most beautiful woman and have heard them rave about themself all day... so it's not all about looks for me. As mentioned before.., beauty is skin deep. No further comment..!

Karen.. No worries options are open... you can drop a good word about the fg to your nieces anytime....:))

Big Bro
plenty of fish in the sea...:)

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 17, 2009 2:47 PM

Perth, your statement "Bit demeaning to the guys also to assume they are all so shallow and stupid and just follow anything. I think the fact your friend is on here is testament to that."........pray tell ? are you saying that ALL women on this site are shallow and stupid - including yourself ?? what WAS the point of your post ?? mystified !!

Posted by: whatuc09 at August 17, 2009 1:40 PM

I enjoy useful discussions on here, that are helpful, what I dont enjoy or intend to respond to is cold, unhelpful and critical pointless putting down of people.

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 17, 2009 12:01 PM

Bit demeaning to the guys also to assume they are all so shallow and stupid and just follow anything. I think the fact your friend is on here is testament to that.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 17, 2009 10:53 AM

I have a friend on here who is stunning, she could have any man she wants.........yet all she gets is rejection and grief on here.......

Now that makes sense - I don't think so. If she can have any man she wants, which is a ridiculous assumption anyway, why is she on here. And then when she gets on here she gets rejection. The assumption that looks are going to get anything in life is ridiculous. It takes a lot more than looks alone to make a real person and I think it's an extremely sad assumption to think otherwise.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 17, 2009 10:52 AM

Maybe she just gets 'cold feet' FG. Maybe she is not as confident as she appears. Maybe she is just one of those people who gets so far and then at the last minute chickens out.
Whatever the reason, it aint happening. Just be kind and don't think bad things about her, she has her reasons, respect that and get on with your life. If you still feel there is something interesting leave the door open with a short message with how she can contact you in the future if she wishes.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 17, 2009 10:49 AM

FG I agree with Glitter, she just isnt into you and her attention is elsewhere.........dont take it to heart, move on, there are enough women and men out there if anyone wants to find someone.

Ego can come on strong in play on these sites, with the 'how dare they not' and declarations of stunning women and men who dont really exist and claims of loverdom of mamoth proportions to overcompensate for knocked ego and saving face.........but really, who cares........honestly?

Whenever I hear men or women boast about how many, how much or the quality of what they are getting...I know its rubbish and they arent at all. I have a friend who every day tells me of a some random guy who has a crush on her and its all fairy story rubbish. Equally a guy who keeps teling everyone about how much women love him and also, we all grin knowing thats rubbish too.

The fact is, there is only one person that matters and thats YOU...............what you think about you..........and then one person, two people, maybe three or four if you are lucky (and it is luck, noone is super studly or goddess wonderful, no matter how far up our own behinds our heads are or how much we would like people to believe).

I have a friend on here who is stunning, she could have any man she wants.........yet all she gets is rejection and grief on here.......if it can happen to her, it can happen to anyone FG, so dont take it to heart and say NEXTS.

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 17, 2009 10:03 AM

Hey FG... Did your confusion make you 'frown'? Tune into the frown. Sounds like she has several options on the go and is stringing you out while she follows up on the others. So I guess you have to decide if you are happy to be on her list of options. My advice, keep your options open to.
Can be tough, eh! Kaz :)

Posted by: karen59 at August 16, 2009 8:42 PM

FG, she's just keeping you on the hook in case the one she's hooked up with at the moment turns out to be a dud. Sorry to be so blunt Pal but ignore her, move along, meet some other people, don't take the thing so seriously. You will probably find once you don't contact she will start contacting you. Some people are like that, that's who they are. If you can put up with that stuff, get to meet with her, if you can't don't. She is probably very attractive, giggly, charming, a complete flirt with about as much depth of feeling as a small puddle. She is also probably totally narcissistic so you are never going to quite measure up no matter what you do. So, it's over to you, as I said if you like that kind of person go for it, if you don't then find someone who suits your temperament better. Personally I like to have a conversation with someone who talks about other things than themselves as there are very few people I find who are that interesting. I also like someone who likes to 'do stuff' and extremely narcissistic women tend not to because of their constant preening of themselves. They're good fun at parties, social events etc., but anything more, well.................

Posted by: iaminperth at August 16, 2009 6:08 PM

Hi Feelgood,

Mmmm. I would say . . she's just not that into you. But hey - that's what I would say to a girlfriend if a guy was doing that to her.

They are not all clown fish out there and you know that!!.

Gee you sound like a guy I know who used to be on the blogs!! Sometimes I have to look at the sign on again, as I think it's him . .

Just be cool Bro and if she's into you - you'll know it - you won't need to pretend or play silly power games and she will want to speak with you on the phone - not just text and email.

I sort of wonder if you are actually ready for a relationship . . . it's just a feeling, from your posts. . .

Big trip for me tomorrow morning - 12 hours from Sydney back home to the Sunshine Coast QLD - I just can't bare the city any longer and am doing the cut n run (but going to my real "heart home" S/Coast). The plus is that my boat's being built in Brisvagus - so I can just go down and pick it up when they call . . . saves me about $300 in freight : ))) and driving 1000+kms with it on my tiny car : )

Have a good week everyone.

Luv Glitter xo

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 16, 2009 6:02 PM

Hey FG,

Sounds like this girl is dating lots of guys and keeping all of options open...nothing wrong with that, but still should let you know whats doin'!!

Mate, dont let the antics of one person wreck it for anyone else...just say "thanks for your consideration" and move on...easier said than done, I know, but....what the hell eh!!!

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 16, 2009 5:39 PM

Hi glitter
True.....
To cut a long story short here.., I was a little confused by the games... We talked on the phone, she asked if a was going to be around, i said yes. I told her i would call her later in the week. I called no answer.. Left it a day, I receive a text saying sorry i missed your call, i was out.. In that text she said email me and we'll catch up soon. Emailed her the next day. She replyed, said she had two busy days but would like to keep in contact.. At this stage i was thinking should i even bother?? i sent a email, asking if she would like to catch up soon, your call...
got one back saying i'm happy to.
haven't heard from her since...

That's fishing hey.? Had some more bites since.. not sure if i want to hook up...? Just a little sick of catching clown fish.

Got me stuffed... i'll stick to surfing...:)

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 14, 2009 6:19 PM

All sounds like games to me.
I don't like games and really don't understand the point of them, unless someone is just a player.

Posted by: woodnwine at August 13, 2009 3:39 PM

No bullets coming from my way Glitter... fair call!

Posted by: karen59 at August 11, 2009 9:52 AM

FG, I am going to get shot for this, but "nothing you want is upstream". Go fishing a couple more times, but if the fish don't bite, move to another fishing spot : ))

Is she crazy or wah?

Good luck Dude . . .

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 10, 2009 10:17 PM

Scorpio women are like that, hard to catch....and I know from experience!! :)

Well I can say that the "Hey, How was your day" text msg that I sent the girl I mentioned in previous posts I did include her name and also mentioned something that we talked about on our meeting, so yeah that guy that you mentioned is a bit of a dickhead, well maybe more than a bit.

Posted by: stungbyascorpio at August 10, 2009 5:54 PM

Oh Skirtoff - how rude! A lucky escape for you by the sounds of it.

Posted by: willow29 at August 10, 2009 4:54 PM

Hi everyone.
I was just reading all the comments here and felt that I needed to add my experience in as food for thought. I had had a few phone conversations with a guy, and numerous text messages.. 'How is your day?' etc. Then, a few days ago, just minutes after a phone conversation with him, I get a text message.. the dear John text: I have met someone, don't wait to continue contact - all nice, but it started with : 'Hi, how are you?'. Then the light bulb went on for me.. The 'Hi, how are you?' texts that I had been getting through out the day were going to a few women not just me. If you are texting someone, be very careful to make that person know they are the only one you are texting. This guy was obviously playing the field text wise, and getting a group text is pretty crappy. My thoughts are, if the text doesn't have your name in it, then it is pretty much a group text, especially if they are just random 'Have a good day' ones.

Good luck to us all.

Posted by: skirtoffsick at August 9, 2009 11:08 PM

FG, ask Virgo about mine..... Hope the fishing was good thou!!

Posted by: aloveoflife at August 9, 2009 10:42 PM

Hey FG....it's okay, you've still got your crew here that loves you....:)))))))))))))

Mum...:)

Posted by: virgowoman2 at August 9, 2009 8:51 PM

All i can say is nothing happened ~~~~~~~

it's not over yet folks... just a hard one to catch...

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 9, 2009 8:08 PM

Are you referring to your date FG? ... no good? :(

Posted by: karen59 at August 9, 2009 7:44 PM

Oh no! What happened man?

Posted by: stungbyascorpio at August 9, 2009 7:19 PM

Hey guys guess what?? i got stung by a scorpio.... haha

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 9, 2009 6:16 PM

Yep, you are right Stung... should have left it at that. Your response was perfect for the situation. She may still catch up with you when she gets back... but you do need to realize that that would have been the last thing on her mind at the time. Don't put your life on hold thou... get out there and met others... you owe that to yourself!

Posted by: karen59 at August 7, 2009 9:38 PM

Well when she texted "thanks for meeting, hope to do it again when i get back" i responded later with "my pleasure, we'll catch up when you get back". In hindsight, should have left it at that, but can't change. We do have a fair bit in common which may be a saving grace. I can understand what you mean about texting, but I call my dates to arrange another meeting. I think it would have been a bit stupid to call her up a few days later and set the next meeting up. So I just texted a short and sweet msg, not too full on i don't think. The wait is the thing thats annoying me, would rather get it over and done with it.
As for my name lol. Well I am a scorpio and the little blighters (not just the animal, but the people too haha) like to sting. Maybe I lived up to my name and put the fatal sting into the situation haha. Time will tell.

Posted by: stungbyascorpio at August 7, 2009 6:52 PM

Ha! If you weren't confused before Stung, I bet you really are now!!

Posted by: karen59 at August 7, 2009 5:34 PM

Hi Stung, if a woman likes you and you like her and you text her (within reason), I'm sure it'd be okay. Texting can be way overdone now in starting a relationship, but every now and then to say, hope you're going well is nice.

FG ~ good luck for your date this weekend : )) (scorpios are s'posed to be hot!)

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 7, 2009 1:08 PM

Oh FG,

I saw a rose, I stopped to admire it for a while, as it reminded me of your Bold and Beautiful pics...:)))))))

Good luck with the date on the weekend, don't forget to wear clean undies...!!!

Luv Mum...:)

Posted by: virgowoman2 at August 7, 2009 10:21 AM

You see, for me 'how was your day' is someone part of my life would say. A guy I had been on one or two dates with is not part of my life that much. To me thats crossing a boundary, just my opinion. I have friends, good friends to ask me how my day was, some day, there may or may not be a man in my life to do that too, but random strangers who I have only met a small handful of times, or even once......thats going into the realms of fantastical relationship making. I also heard the classic, texting......just my opinion again, i dont know how much texting was done, but seems maybe, just maybe, that classic attachment via text may have happened and one party realised its all fantasy and not an actual bult up real relationship. Texting should be banned in dating world.

I agree with Karen, much better to just send a text saying have a wonderful holiday and I hope we can catch up when you get back. How was your day is defintiely reserved for people closer than a date, or even a handful of dates.

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 7, 2009 5:03 AM

Magic pics Virgo, really good!

Posted by: iaminperth at August 6, 2009 11:59 PM

Killer name mate i like it... "stungbyascorpio" hahaha

i'm supposed to be meeting one on the weekend...!?!! LOL

Well mate, "how was your day" is ok if your playing golf... If you want to meet again come out with it up front. All depends on the age i suppose, but i'd be more direct than that.. if you felt there was a conection and you read the mood of the date well, then it wouldn't hurt to say something like, "Hey thanks for the great evening i really enjoyed our time spent together and if your comfortable in meeting again i'd be more than happy in accompanying you again.

Or you could say "i seen a rose, i stopped to admirer it for a while as it reminded me of your pretty face...!!

ok that was a little much but you never know...!!

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at August 6, 2009 11:27 PM

Night Brown Eyes...Night Boof.....:)

Virgo...:)

Posted by: virgowoman2 at August 6, 2009 11:09 PM

Stung,

It's letting a person know you're thinking about them....not obsessed...just thinking of them...!!

Virgo...:)

Night everyone....this little black duck is off to see Mr.Sandman....:))))))))))

Posted by: virgowoman2 at August 6, 2009 10:41 PM

Hey Stung,

Here is the problem....we can only give advice on how we would perceive a situation...but no everyone is like us.

Interesting RSVP name...where did you think of that from?

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 6, 2009 10:40 PM

Hey lesley,

Not looking good for November...will probably need to wait until something in the city happens.

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 6, 2009 10:34 PM

And its not like it was a most threatening message either. Before we met we'd been emailing/texting for three weeks. And a few times we asked how each others day was. I see no problem with doing it after!

Posted by: stungbyascorpio at August 6, 2009 10:19 PM

Every woman is different to how they would react to a message like that. I'll play it by ear, fingers crossed

Posted by: stungbyascorpio at August 6, 2009 10:16 PM

To much to soon stung! 'How was your day' is for someone you have a close relationship with. 'Thank-you for an enjoyable night... give you a call next week' might be more appropriate.

Posted by: karen59 at August 6, 2009 9:32 PM

I dont think so, Stung. Personally, hearing "how was your day" is much more preferable to not hearing from them at all (if you clicked).
Look at all the past blogs that say "We seemed to click but I never heard from him again...." etc. That should be answer enough.

Posted by: willow29 at August 6, 2009 9:31 PM

Stungby...if I wanted to see someone again...I would have a smile on my face to get a message from him asking how my day was....how thoughtful....:)

Virgo...:)

Posted by: virgowoman2 at August 6, 2009 9:26 PM

Hey Stung,

You're a guy....you are expected to make an idiot of yourself!!!

I have been know to be such a klutz when I really like someone that you would think I had foot in mouth disease.....and digging holes for myself....almost to China!!!

Personally, I think it should be seen as an endearing quality....who really needs to be super-confident around a woman you fancy; at least she will know she affects you...and she may be the only person on earth that does.

Boy, just realised that this post might be an example of hole-digging!!!:)))

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 6, 2009 9:11 PM

Just one other thing, if someone was interested in meeting you again, would that "how was your day" msg be kinda a turn off?
The advice would be appreciated, may stop me from making an idiot of myself in future ;)

Posted by: stungbyascorpio at August 6, 2009 6:25 PM

Thanks one. Yeah I know what you mean about keeping them close. I just thought it would be rude if I didn't keep in touch in some way before she left. I don't know if it changes anything but it was a text message rather than an email. Anyway we'll see what happens

Posted by: stungbyascorpio at August 6, 2009 6:10 PM

Good luck with the whole dating scene then stung, glad to hear you arent putting all your eggs in one basket.

You know, there are huge amounts of reasons, from wanting to not feel 'attached' whilst she is away so she can date, romance, fling or whatever whilst away. Equally, she may have just been too busy to respond, she could have only had 10 minutes and had to respond to a couple of other emails and just didnt get time to get round to yours.

My only other suggestion, is maybe 'Hows your day?' Isnt a good email conversation. I always say dont speak just to keep them close, or through fear of losing, but only get in touch if you have something to say/ask.

Like you say, if you hang out with her again, great, if not then no biggie.......there are plenty of others out there for both her and you and so good luck with it :-)

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 6, 2009 11:58 AM

Oh yeh Whatuc, I stole your ocean example a little there :-)

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 6, 2009 6:59 AM

VDU at 8.08pm: Thanks for the positive feedback. Diarised. Seeyezall much later.

Posted by: timewarp1 at August 5, 2009 11:55 PM

Hey Glitter,

Your secret is safe with me ;) I'm gradually getting better thanks, and might speak to Malsie about some healing. Hope you can make it to Jen's bash - that would be great! I'm really looking forward to seeing old friends and meeting new ones!!

Fiji Jen? How wonferful for you... it's a beautiful place and you'll have a ball.

Bugger Bob, you're right about the door! That was a wild weekend, wasn't it? It took weeks for my liver to recover... we must do it again soon! Do you think you'll make it to Jen's? That would kill many birds with one stone, figuratively speaking!

Hey Bill, I'm not back, just passing through! We're heading to Qld for the last week in October and I'll be in touch prior to that... it'd be great to catch up. I'm delighted to hear the new romance is progressing well - good for you!!

Lesley

Posted by: victoriadownunder at August 5, 2009 8:08 PM

Nah she wasn't using an excuse, I knew from the first email she sent back that she was going overseas. I was umming and ahhing about whether to meet her before or after, and we chose before. I know, I know I over analyze too much, a lot of friends say this. I am a scorpio, can't help it..I like the truth!! If she doesn't want to meet me I 'd rather her just come out and say it, than being left up in the air. Anyway, we shall see what comes of it. And yes I'm not keeping all my eggs in one basket. Though I wouldn't mind seeing this one again.

Posted by: stungbyascorpio at August 5, 2009 6:26 PM

Hey One...are you quoting someone ?? lol

Posted by: whatuc09 at August 5, 2009 11:16 AM

Posted by: stungbyascorpio at August 4, 2009 9:25 PM

My opinion...............if you see her again you do, if you dont you dont.

Simple as that really, after one coffee, don't fret so much, go on more dates, meet lots of people, dont worry about one fish in the big vast ocean until that fish deserves it and earns it, by really knowing them.

Don't get hung up or suspicious, looking to analyse it..........dangerous terriroty in my view when you start noticing your favourites went down by one.

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 5, 2009 7:49 AM

Hi all

Just looked in to say hello. Must be weeks.

Glad to see you back VDU. Very happy memories of standing on the smokers' footpath with you and Kaz outside the italian restaurant during the monumental Melb. bloggermeet 18 months ago.

My 3-month romance continues sweetly, and herself returned ten days ago to the archive-box chasms of Castle Chaos to share my split-level honeymoon beds for a few nights. Brought/gave me a small folding table so we could have meals at the same one, instead of side by side at 2 home-office desks 5 mtrs apart. (Computer desk in between.)

This Friday I drive to her at Lismore and from there we'll spend 2 full days at the Byron Bay Writers Festival. (Both are poets.)

VDU, when are you lot going for your Sunshine Coast holiday? Coupla weeks from now? Love to drive up from Bris for a few hours and share a meal with you if possible, while you're nearby.

I'll be in Melb for a weekend course later this year, but think it's the last weekend of Nov, not the Healesville one. Tooroo.

Posted by: timewarp1 at August 4, 2009 11:30 PM

Hey Jen,

Just re-read you post....obviously just the narcissist in me...its all about me, you know!!!!!

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 4, 2009 10:50 PM

I like to think Magic Happens in the most part Bob. lol

Oh and re the bald/shaved and putting on weight I was meaning the new owner of T's old profile name in case that read wrong to anyone.

God, I can get myself into trouble.

Jen

Posted by: jen234 at August 4, 2009 10:43 PM

Hey Jen,

Shit happens, I guess

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 4, 2009 10:20 PM

From a distance I thought you had put on a lot of weight. lol. Bald/shaved head and beard similar, and even the same age neally.

Yikes, what is going on? lol.

Have a look blog followers.

Jen

Posted by: jen234 at August 4, 2009 10:00 PM

Hey Stung,

I have met at least 3 women who have seemed pretty interested, but are travelling overseas shortly...never hear back. Think it might be another of those excuses for people that either get cold feet, or dont know how to say "not interested".

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 4, 2009 9:57 PM

Yes there are heaps of places to stay around town Bob. And many of the crowd are hoping to stay together. Probably 7 or 8 at my place.

Also... Hopefully we will all be able to catch Tassie playing. That's ok to say hey Tassie? lol. ummm, and did you know someone has taken your name on site?
How are we gonna handle that?

Jen

Posted by: jen234 at August 4, 2009 9:55 PM

Hey Jen,
I live quite close by to you so I wouldn't need to invade your space. I understand your concerns regarding opening your home to all and sundry.
Enjoy Fiji... I am jealous! I would just love to get away to somewhere warm right now!
:) for you... :( for me!

Posted by: karen59 at August 4, 2009 9:31 PM

Hi people. I recently met a girl off here for coffee, and it seemed to go really well. Got a text a couple of hours later thanking me for meeting and she said hope to do it again when she gets back from overseas. She left a few days on a trip for a few weeks. Now I msg'd her back saying "yes we'll catch up when you get back". Then I sent a msg two days later just asking how her day was, and about her visit from a parent. Didn't get anything back, and also sent her a msg saying have a safe trip and awesome time the day before she left, and still nothing. Does this seem too much too soon? I know she had visits from parents and was probably busy with packing and planning. I also noticed that the day after I sent the "how was your day" msg that my faves list went down by one. Too much of a coincidence? What do you think? Still a chance of meeting her again?

Posted by: stungbyascorpio at August 4, 2009 9:25 PM

Hey Rob,

Be extremely alert mate....those sorts of accusations stay with you forever.

Hey Jen,

Not necessary that you put everyone up...there must be accommodation around Healesville for those of us who dont know you that well.

Bob

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 4, 2009 7:28 PM

Hey JenniferHi,

You are going to have SO much fun in Fiji. It's going to do you the world of good to get away and breath the sweet air of a different island. See how easy it was to get your passport! You must have done something right in a past life, so many good things happen to you : )))

I am going to miss you though : (

. . . gone for a whole week : ((

Bye bye Jen.

Love to you.
Glitter xoxoxoxo

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 4, 2009 7:23 PM

Hi Jen,

Have fun in Fiji........never been there, but one day............:)

See you in November...will be a blast !!!

Posted by: jenjen57 at August 4, 2009 4:59 PM

Hi Guys.

Sorry I haven't been posting much lately. So much going on. And I'm going to Fiji next week. Soooooo exciting!

Ummmmm... yes there is a meet over the weekend of 7th and 8th November. Many will be hitting my town of Healesville. And party time at my place over part of the weekend. (yikes!) But as you can imagine I am mainly inviting those who are known to me or known to the rest of the close bloggers.

If you would really like to make the journey can you get message to me via someone who knows me.

I know that all sounds aaarghhh but as you can imagine to open your home to people you have to ge sure and feel a comfort.

Cheers

Jen

Posted by: jen234 at August 4, 2009 10:59 AM

My ex mother in law stepped in when her daughter in law unfortunately died and virtually brought up the grandies until they were about 7 years old. Son then remarried and whilst she wasn't as active with the first two, played a huge part as they both worked and also had another two children. She was extremely helpful and supportive with all of them and continued to be so until she passed away. We remained good friends for the whole of her life as she was my daughters gran as well. The whole family is like that and we are still good friends with them and I get on well with my ex brothers in law. Kids are kids, no matter whose they are, adults should be mindful of that and get over themselves at times I think. Hope you realise it's them with the problem and really you should just feel sorry for them.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 4, 2009 9:47 AM

Are we all welcome to the Melbourne get together...?

Posted by: karen59 at August 4, 2009 9:07 AM

Hey Lesley,

Sorry to hear you are not well...thought you might have avoided the winter blues.

Thanks for the wraps...not sure they are warranted though...but thanks anyway.

Hey, that door doesn't slide (if you remember)...you probably dont though, after all we woke you at 4am and didn't sleep for the rst of the day...sat up drinking and yapping....ahhh, the good old days.

Trying to organise another Melbourne get together...I think Jen is doing something about it. Would be a pearler with all the old and new bloggers attending

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 3, 2009 11:35 PM

Hey VDU ~ hahah I don't know what we would have done if you guys hadn't turned up - maybe Mals and I would have sat there in the grass all night and drank our sorrows away : )))

Bronchitis sux the big one - take care of yourself - it takes about 14 days to pass - really - not something you can take lightly. It's deep and heavy..and definitely has an emotional element. Mals can do some healing on you - for sure.

No, nobody knows my name here - top secret! Only you.

Might see me in Healesville in November, maybe . . . only if I can bring my new toy boy (when I find him) and my new kayak (arrives in 4 weeks)!!

Love to you.
F. (aka Glitter xo)
Have you found a new squash partner yet? If I was in Melb., you'd have met your match!!!

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 3, 2009 11:32 PM

Bob.... It must have been very difficult for you to grow up with that hanging over your head......You sound like your heart and mind are in the right place......FKM all
Cheers Rob

Posted by: yeahitsme2 at August 3, 2009 11:30 PM

Iaminpeth.......It's ignorance and guilt that drives people to make such accusations.......fortunately they have to live with the guilt for the rest of their miserable lives...
Rob

Posted by: yeahitsme2 at August 3, 2009 11:18 PM

Hey Rob,

Best reinforcement he will have is to know that you dont hold him to blame...anyone else can say what they like. My problem was I couldn't escape my dad...hes part of my family (family, now thats a joke).

Give him all the support you can possibly muster...he is probably hurting more than you know.

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 3, 2009 11:16 PM

Hey Fabulous F.... (not sure your name is common knowledge here so I'll be discreet!)

You're welcome to the free advertising, but I only speak the truth!! Mind you, the picture you and Mals painted outside Clipsal was forlorn, at best!!

Small world - I've got bronchitis too, and it takes we old farts way longer to recover than you young things, so stop your whining!!!

God love Mals, huh? Isn't she a treasure? I'll get new pids one day...

Hope to see you in Healesville in November xx

Posted by: victoriadownunder at August 3, 2009 11:08 PM

Bob......thanks.....we haven't seen the inlaws in three years and hopefully never will..good riddance to bad rubbish. My son still sees a Councilor at school and he's getting better.....as for me...she'll be right mate...FKM !!

Glitter.....thanks.....yeah the tide is turning and the sun is shinning.....yeah and I am optimistic...
The sun always comes out after a storm .

Thanks again Rob

Posted by: yeahitsme2 at August 3, 2009 10:33 PM

How can any adult blame a child for someones death. Presuming you didn't shoot them or something awful. What can a child do to cause a death ??? This is amazing stuff i am reading here. If someone gets terminally ill, they usually die, that's what terminal is. It is not the fault of a child.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 3, 2009 10:02 PM

Jewelly Jewels, don't give up - please!

You kick ass. That guy is there woundering where you are. You know this - you gotta just trust that it is so.

If they aren't your equal - aren't you pleased they are not in your life. You need an equal and that man exists - K? I just know it.

Luv to you - G. xo

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 3, 2009 9:49 PM

Hey Rob, I know we carry on with a lot of silly and fun stuff here, but you know what? Horrible, sad sad stuff happens, and you've been to hell and back - and you are probably still there. Most of us have stuff going on and had bad bad things have happen to us.

It gets better dude, it does, even though you don't think so now. When we are hell every day, we cannot see the sunlight, or opportunities, or a better day. One day you will wake up and say to yourself "hey, I don't feel so bad today, wow, I think the tide has turned". It may not be for a while yet, but that day WILL come. And you just have to know that it will.

We are all together in our humanity and our experience of emotional pain- it hurts so bad. What helps us get through, is knowing that others have gone through it too . . . and the sun has come out for them, eventually.

You just don't know what the tide will bring in tomorrow : ))

Lots of love and support for you.

Luv Glitter xo

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 3, 2009 9:43 PM

Hey Rob,

Know the feeling mate...my father has blamed me for my moms death all of my life...she died when i was 10.

Keep you boy away from those people fella; believe me, untrue as the accusation is...some of it still sticks; and he doesn't need to go through life with that sort of guilt hanging over his head...because you still feel guilty, though you know you are not.

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 3, 2009 9:41 PM

Hello Lovely Lesley : ))

Thanks for the free advertising. I'm not feeling very attractive at the moment, but getting there, slowly. Yes I was very sick that night, but held it together for the "greater good" - it turned out to be bronchitis - all better now : )) It was from all the stress of packing up the house on my own and travelling for days. Malsie was so good to me - a fellow blogger, whom I'd never met before - a woman who - if anyone, shouldn't have extended the hand of friendship and support. But she did, as you all did, at a time I needed it very much. It meant/means a lot to me. Plus, despite being ill - we had a great time. Still remember swigging a nice red on the corner of some random block of land in the middle of Melbourne with Mals, that was funny. Then Szil and you coming to our rescue, 'cause we were lost! Ha, like highschool again. . .

If anyone can take some great new shots of you, I'm sure she could - as Arny says: thdo it, thdo it now!

I'm sure it's not the last party we'll bump into each other at. Next time, I'll be ready for you lot!!

Luv Glitter xo

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 3, 2009 9:35 PM

Hey Maybe,

Enjoy your little holiday from here....please pop in and say hello to us....will miss you, but look forward to you coming back...!

Don't forget our Rave on a Friday night...woo hoo...:))))))))))))))))))

Luv Virgo...:) xoxoxo

Posted by: virgowoman2 at August 3, 2009 8:43 PM

Hi Lizzy,

You and Nik are obviously very astute women - Bob's a gem!! Damn shame he lives in Sydney...

We cat lovers are few and far between, Nik - best we stick together!! Oh yeah, Bob luuuuuurves cats... not!!

Geez Glitter, how could I forget you?? A heads up for men in Sydney - this chick is HOT!!! I hope you're all better now - you were so sick that night. Thanks for the feedback on my photos, and yes, Bob's been on my back about replacing them for ages! Mals has offered to take new ones but it hasn't happened yet...

Jewels, I was thinking of you on the weekend when I saw an ad for Floriade!! We'll do it one year, my friend - promise!

Bob, get over your benarrassment... you're a top bloke, and if your head gets too big for the front door, use the sliding one and leap off the balcony - it's only one floor from the ground!!

VDU/Lesley

Posted by: victoriadownunder at August 3, 2009 8:18 PM

Hey Bob.....Yeah I see your point.......valid one at that !!
My situation , my wife was diagnosed with incurable Leukeamia . She was told if she didn't undergo treatment that she might have 12 months of resonable quality of life....and that if she went ahead with treatment....who knows?? , she chose the latter and lasted 11 months and went to hell and back .
My son had just turned 11 at the time....and he's the splitting image of his mother......
Now for the INLAWS...well they accused my son and I of killing their daughter ( my wife ) and spread rumours that we were the cause of her death .
We had to move to the other side of town to get away from the B...S....! My son and I have to live with that forever...rumours don't die !!
Rob.....

Posted by: yeahitsme2 at August 3, 2009 7:23 PM

Yeahitsme2... I am glad that you see honesty as a given in a relationship. My point is also about honesty when dating, before a relationship is formed. So many men, after a couple of dates or even after the one meeting, promise to call and yet they have no intention to do so. They send emails saying that they will call and do not follow up. Why make promises that they are not going to keep? We all understand that it is a process of meeting people and that we are not going to click with every one we meet. I believe that it is best to be 'upfront' and advise the other if you are not interested in pursuing contact. It may seem harsh but at least it is being honest and the other person knows where they stand. It does not mean that you have to be cruel in the delivery, just honest and kind. It is amazing how much positive feedback I have received after communicating that I did not want to pursue contact anymore. It is all about integrity, which seems to be so lacking these days.

Rob, I was sorry to read as to why you are here. I am sure that you have heard it all before... time does heal! Keep your heart open and then, only then, will you connect with a new love. Dare I say it, be true to you... be honest with yourself! :)

Posted by: honestyforme2 at August 3, 2009 7:00 PM

Bobby ~ great minds think alike.

(it's not unfeeling of you. If anything, It's being a good and honest friend : )

Glitter xo

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 3, 2009 4:02 PM

Hey Rob,

And just as a PS to my previous post....if you have kids, you cant even escape them...somehow you will invariably have contact; whether that be a birthday or a wedding.

As I said previously, this is not an issue for me...I have forgiven and gotten over my ex, have no kids, and no further contact; but for some, its a never-ending nightmare, and dare I say...humiliation!!

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 3, 2009 2:52 PM

Hey Rob,

I am not trying to make light of your losing your wife....I really feel for you, and know whats its like to lose someone you love deeply like that. However, the death of a loved one is final...there is no blame attached, there are no recriminations, there is no coming back...as much as it may hurt; you know its over and you cant change that. Takes time, but after a while you can move on with your life because you have closure.

When you are cheated upon; its a whole different ball game, if you like...the bastard didn't have the decency to die and give you closure; he is out there guiltless, whilst you are left alone wondering "Why, what did I do wrong, I am ugly, I am undesirable..." everything.

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 3, 2009 2:43 PM

Hey Glitter,

I have been telling VDU for 2 years to ditch the photos and get some new ones.....they do her absolutely no justice....see, I can be an unfeeling bastard!!!

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at August 3, 2009 12:38 PM

Aw shucks girls...you are making me all benarrassed!!! if you keep this stuff up I wont be able to get through the front doorr....women are supposed to keep you grounded...your friends give you humility!!!

Bobxx

Posted by: notafigjam at August 3, 2009 12:10 PM

onemore.......I can understand your reasons for feeling that way .
Don't be negative.....there are geniune people out there who were in fantastic relationships and are now here through no fault of their own . Hey....the only reason I'm here is because my wife passed away....
You will find that elusive partner...we all will.
It just takes time......
Rob :)

Posted by: yeahitsme2 at August 2, 2009 11:11 AM

honestyforme2..............You are right because without honesty you have nothing .
I saw it as a given.....because if you have all the other traits..you are being honest to yourself and your partner .
Rob :)

Posted by: yeahitsme2 at August 2, 2009 10:55 AM

I met the most gorgeous man last month who was so different on the phone. Has made me not use the phone as any indication of what a person is like, just if they are interested. This person seemed to have 3 very different sides. He was sensitive and showed his emotional side via email, sounded a bit rough around the edges on the phone but showed that he was interested and then in person, was quite articulate and intelligent but did not show much emotion. Has taught me not to assume anything about any one type of communication and to wait to get to know the whole package first.

Posted by: lovemornings at August 2, 2009 8:23 AM

hey VDU, it has been a long time since you have blogged. And yes you are spot on about Bob....he is not a fat ugly old fart!!!!!

I also agree with Bob and options dilemas with the opposite sex....I thinks I am in the same boat, not holding my breath waiting, but not giving up either....but living a happy life and maybe, one of these days, I will find the one man whom I will want to keep, not meaningless encounters. (just borrowed your word Bob)....

Have a lovely saturday evening all...jewels

Posted by: jewelsxr6 at August 1, 2009 10:47 PM

Hi VDU!!!!

You sat next to me at the Italian blogger's dinner about 3 weeks ago in Melbourne (my transition back to Sydney dinner) ((do you remember me??)).

I had a look at your profile and I have to say you are way more attractive in person (not that the photos aren't attractive - hell you know what I mean).

Glad you're back on the blogs - good value.

Glitter : ))

Posted by: glitteringblue at August 1, 2009 8:31 PM

Welcome back Victoria, hope you enjoy the craziness that is the current bloggers, it's great fun, loved your cat in the photo, good to see yet another feline lover on board, Bob loves cats.............. Nik

Posted by: aloveoflife at August 1, 2009 8:27 PM

VDU....I think you're pretty spot on in your comments about our Bob....both Nik and I think he's a bit of a bonza boof....!!!

Virgo/Lizzy...:)

Posted by: virgowoman2 at August 1, 2009 7:04 PM

Gee, I haven't been here for over a year, but it's a cold, wet day in Melbourne so I decided to entertain myself with the blogs. Good to see some of the oldies still here, and so many newbies since I last visited...

Now Bob, I've read several of your posts describing yourself as a fat, ugly old fart. Me thinks you're protesting too much, but I agree your hair is your best asset ;)!!

Ladies, let me assure you, our Bob is one of the best blokes I know and a man I'm proud to call my friend... he is intelligent, generous, fair-minded, down to earth, and above all, genuine. If he tells you something, you know it's the truth!

I trust this man so much that when my 19yo daughter went to Sydney recently, I gave her Bob's mobile number in case she got into trouble... I can't think of any higher praise I could give him.

Now stop putting shit on yourself Bob - that's our job!!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at August 1, 2009 5:40 PM

Just here for the blogs, which I have been reading with much interest. Most insightful and entertaining.

Onemore, I agree with you regarding men needing to give more emotionally. Many of them are too scared to commit emotionally because they think the grass is greener elsewhere... they keep looking for "the one", and hurting genuine women in the meantime. Of course, the same can be said of many women also.

Yeahitsme, yes, not all men and women are the same... obviously you are different giving more than you expect in return... 'giving compassion, affection, romance, respect' etc but what about honesty? I have come across many men who are dishonest when there is no need to, even after one meeting. We all need to be honest with ourselves first! Then and only then can we have an open heart to meeting the one!

Also, words are meaningless, actions speak stronger than words...

Not sure if my thoughts are exactly on topic but they are cathartic for me.

Posted by: honestyforme2 at August 1, 2009 4:58 PM

Yep, I am understanding now Bob. And I am pleased to hear that you haven't completely shut yourself off from the prospect of a relationship. You are worthy of something special.
Karen :)

Posted by: karen59 at August 1, 2009 8:48 AM

Hey Bob and Rob,

I haven't quit completely, I just accept the chances are there isnt a guy out there for me. I'm a people watcher and I watch couples a lot and I cringe, I think 'is this what we are all aiming for' and then I realise it isnt, thats why a lot of us are here, However, men and women are growing apart, the more we travel down the same track, the more its going to happen, There is just too much insecurity and fear and its becoming a real problem, specifically in men and its controlling hideous behaviour in what should be great men.

Maybe there is a guy out there who is as romantic, thoughtful, loyal, etc.......who would do anything to see me smile as I would him, but hey..........I can't hold my breath and I have to be realistic, the best most people get is a delusion of that.

Oh and Karen, I agree, the male body is amazing, I am about the most sexual person there is, but I just don't find the price that goes with it, the amount of downsides that men seem to have worth it. Maybe one day there will be one who I will want to involve again, but again, wont hold my breath :-)

Just my view.....but I am a happy little soul :-)

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at August 1, 2009 5:17 AM

Hi Karen,

Not actively looking...but you never know whom you might run into in the big city!! I think I would be lying to you if I said I dont have a desire for intimacy...but my desire these days is for one woman whom I will want to keep, not meaningless encounters.

I have had a couple of short-term relationships...all very nice women, but in the end, not what I really wanted...I didn't have a real desire to wake up next to them, in the long term. Hope this helps.

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at July 31, 2009 10:45 PM

Bob... "Doing the deed for the sake of it"... did you think that was what I meant? No! I am confused by your comment... and maybe that has something to do with the sav blanc consummed tonight... but you like sex as much as the next guy... and the next woman you sleep with will be the woman that you want to wake up next to... I just don't get it? I read into your comments a desire for intimacy and yet you say you are no longer looking. Am I missing something here?
Karen :)

Posted by: karen59 at July 31, 2009 10:27 PM

Bob, you are a rare gem, nicely said my friend.

Posted by: aloveoflife at July 31, 2009 9:52 PM

Hey Rob,

No sweat mate. In fact I dont have many women friends these days, but those that I call my friends are all great girls.

I get where you are going, and agree, but my search is over.

Hi Karen,

I like sex as much as the next guy, but past the whole "doing the deed for the sake of it"...ben there, done that. I know you might think me strange, but having sex these days and walking away feeling nothing holds not too much appeal for me these days. The next woman I sleep with will be the woman that I want to wake up next to...especially if I can spend the night with her and NOT have sex, but still want her in my life.

bob

Posted by: notafigjam at July 31, 2009 9:34 PM

Hi onemore

I feel for you when you say,
The cost that comes with having a man, really is pretty pricey. the amount I have to give, to get very little, is just not worth it.

who said you have to give alot for a man to love you in return?
What's wrong with being the woman you are now and having a man that will except it? Your below posts see's you achieving goals well on your own!

Q: What are you doing on this site then? Blogging? or deep in the back of your mind maybe there is a chance you will find a connection.? Someone who will except you for who you are and what you are. Don't give up. Look at timewarp.. been on more dates than Madona.

That reminds me... POETS night tonight.
FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at July 31, 2009 9:32 PM

vwxy ~ WTF, was he 13 when you met at the gallery?

I'd say you got very lucky with that twist of fate.

Posted by: glitteringblue at July 31, 2009 8:21 PM

Onemore... I have some 'mothers little helpers' ... and I am guaranteed everytime also... but, for me... still not the same. The male body is just hot!!!!
Karen :)

Posted by: karen59 at July 31, 2009 7:47 PM

To get back on topic, how about this for waiting too long?

About 10 years ago I met this great guy at a party in a gallery, younger than I usually went for and a friend of a friend no less. We spent hours together, kissed, it was beautiful, he took my number and gave me his. The next day I called and the number was not connected!

Then, a YEAR later the phone rings and it's him! His excuse was he was a virgin and freaked out. I appreciated the apology but not enough to become his first time. ;-)

Posted by: vwxyz10 at July 31, 2009 7:47 PM

Hey ONEMORE.....I see your point.....BUT....there's always a but .
Not all men are the same..neither are all women ........Now I'm speaking for myself and of my own experiences ,I always give more than I expect in return ,whether it be compassion ,affection, romance ,respect , love or in mutual gratification .
I have come across women who just wanted mutual gratification and were incapable of anything else.....the pendulum swings both ways .
Never believe everyhing the stats try to tell us......because everyone is different ...............
Ciao Rob :)

Posted by: yeahitsme2 at July 31, 2009 7:45 PM

Hey Onemore,
You ask what are men giving women in exchange (@July 31, 2009 10:43 AM)...*big wink and cheeky grin*: their dirty laundry, empty dishes, an iron for their birthday, a washing machine for christmas and a new drill set for mother's day. lol....
Ali
;-)

p.s. guys, please don't take to heart just having a lark

Posted by: ali1974 at July 31, 2009 7:32 PM

Awww Karen really?

I confess, I am far superior to any man in that area, so definitely am guaranteed every time....men cant give me that guarantee, its what I tell any sleazeball who hits on me in a bar :-)

For me, the cost that comes with having a man, really is pretty pricey, so I am with Bob.......the amount I have to give, to get very little, as it appears to date....just not worth it.

I seem to do everything better myself, I even romance myself better, am more thoughtful to myself and I am a demon in the sack, the chemistry is great with me :-)

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at July 31, 2009 7:10 PM

Hey Nik,
I would love to join you at "puppy paradise" ... pet food is probably all I will be able to eat by then ... but my daughter insists that she will be choosing my nursing home for me ... so I better treat her good!!!!

Hey Bob, I am going to be explicit here... do you not miss performing the horizontal mambo? See, I can't imagine sacrificing that joy!!!
Yeah, I know ..."sista's are doing it for themselves"... but it is just not the same!!!

Posted by: karen59 at July 31, 2009 4:45 PM

Yeahitsme................

Its funny, you just reminded me of those stats that came out.

70 something% of single men are depressed
By contrast, only 20 something% of married men are

HOWEVER

In contrast again

20 something % of SINGLE women are depressed and 70 something % of MARRIED women are.

So Yeah..........what do you intend to give THAT special woman in exchange for your happiness and her losing her mental health and happiness :-)

Sorry, not a dig..........I do just wonder though, what are men giving women in exchange? Seesm whilst men get happier, women get miserable according to the stats........why do women still do it?

Whats the answer, do men start having to give more, thats my answer, women dont need their money anymore, so dont clean their houses or raise their children, or sort their lives......now women earn their own money and men clean house equally and if they arent, should be equal parents...........but are men going to have to give more emotionally, in heart, in romance, in soul to get those stats more balanced?

Just some food for thought for the day :-)

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at July 31, 2009 10:43 AM

Nik,

Count me in...can you just arrange for an intravenous drip connected to a keg of Moscato for me...nothing like being pickled all day in your old age....!!!

Big Sis....xoxo

Posted by: virgowoman2 at July 31, 2009 9:51 AM

Hey Bob.....
I think the wires got crossed here ......didn't mean to imply..."you have no female friends" there was never any dought !
What I was trying to say....was....We all need THAT special woman in our lives......you know....long term ,the unconditional type .
Hope I got it right this time !!
Cheers Rob

Posted by: yeahitsme2 at July 31, 2009 9:34 AM

No probs Amber, welcome to Shady Pines Retirement Village (sounds more like a puppy paradise but that's what we name it in our twenties), how many others would like to join us now there are 3 at the nursing home in say 30 years? I need to make reservations, Nik x

Posted by: aloveoflife at July 30, 2009 11:30 PM

Onemore @ 3:32 PM

Some great comments. I think you are saying things that a great many of us can identify with.
And you are so right, all of us would know married friends and relatives who seem to barely tolerate each other, who are rude and disrespectful to each other and make others feel quite uncomfortable being around them, yet they stay together making each other miserable year after year.
Seems almost like a badge of honour!

I think most of us would much rather be alone, and making our own life choices than be with someone who neither respects or likes us.
As Perth said, "there is nothing worse than being lonely when you are not on your own."

And Onemore you are so right, our options provided we remain healthy are limitless! Sitting with a quiet drink in our dotage is fine, so long as we have really lived our lives.
To get to our old age having never taken responsibility for your own life and happiness, is the saddest thing that can happen to anyone.
(and Bob, I don't necessarily disagree with you on some blokes dying early to escape their lives/wives! I am sure most of us have known a relative we suspected was so down-trodden they just gave up!
Of course, there are women who do the same, but to be honest, I think the majority of us women are just too stubborn to give in and die prematurely, the old b***** isn't going to outlive us!
If we suspect he might; these days, unlike our mothers/grandmothers we just leave him instead!)

To be honest, some of the nicest older people I have cared for over the years, are women who have never married. They usually seem to have a twinkle in their eye and a great sense of fun.
Maybe because unlike their sisters who married decades ago, they always lived and chose their own lives.
I think we'd all like to have a sense of humour and feeling of contentment in our old age.

Maybe "just blogging" on RSVP (like "just friends") isn't such a bad thing after all!

PS. Alove, let us know what nursing home, can you leave a space for a few more rocking chairs?!

Posted by: amberlight58 at July 30, 2009 9:58 PM

Hey Rob,

What makes you think I dont have any good women as friends....I have a couple of absolute diamonds that are friends of mine.

It takes a very special woman for me to tell them my story....my best mates know nothing of what I have told a woman friend of mine...some of it not even my own sisters know...the repercussions in my family would be very ugly

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at July 30, 2009 9:49 PM

Hey Bob.....I hear where you're coming from....really..BUT there are some things you can't share with mates or a slab of beer .
Mate , there is no substitute for the love and companionship of a good woman.......!!.
Each to their own .
Cheers Rob

Posted by: yeahitsme2 at July 30, 2009 9:29 PM

Hi All,

I'm sure all of us here have sent out kisses and have had a....thanks, but no thanks reply come back...I know I certainly have, and I accept it..not everybody can like you, or want to get to know you...but you just have to accept the persons decision and move on...!!

Virgo...:)

Posted by: virgowoman2 at July 30, 2009 8:54 PM

Hey All,

Even us ugly old gargoyles sometimes choose not to accept Kisses etc...I know most people think we cant afford to (and I really cant), but what the hell....care factor zero!!!

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at July 30, 2009 8:51 PM

well bob that goes for the younger age bracket too. I can't have a conversation with a young woman without her thinking you're going to hit on her soon.
You're not alone on your bottom line.. approaching a younger woman for a friendly chat = them going into auto pilot------ you can pick up on it as clear as day that they are not being themself.

PS: maybe they want the ect..!?!?? seems that way to me on my experiences.
FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at July 30, 2009 8:13 PM

also agree with those of you who are happy to be single and enjoy life, rather than make a dud couple. I could kick back with some Leonard Cohen and a glass of vino too.

The comments about talking on the phone rather than by email: I dont feel comfortable giving out my mobile number to someone I dont know yet - I am very much a newbie to the singles scene.

Posted by: memoryofkisses at July 30, 2009 8:12 PM

I'm with you Ali (wicked sis), isn't a question a 50/50 scenario - yes/no?? Isn't it a right to respond as you see fit?

To be accused online is just tasteless, childish and tactless. So tacky that someone lovely is having the bone pointed at them and the accuser to make themselves feel better is then hiding behind a hidden profile, very poor form indeed. Just remember that Karma may come back and bite your ass big time - I hope it does. I think if someone doesn't respond positively to my kiss then they've read something that doesn't fit their wants, their perogative, thats fine, move on.

I have made some lovely friends online, also correspond off blog, gorgeous people and I am blessed that they accept me warts and all.

Bob, so true that you are never alone when you have true friends, nicely said.

Posted by: aloveoflife at July 30, 2009 8:11 PM

Ali @ 6.22pm ~ I agree with you wholeheartedly!!! You chose to decline and that's the end of it.

Posted by: glitteringblue at July 30, 2009 8:08 PM

Hey Yeahitsme,

Mate...wont have that problem...I dont drink at home, or alone!!!

Hey Onemore,

Old codger...I think I'm one of those already...I think I'm hurt now!!! Lots of men die earlier because its a better option than living with the old nags they are stuck with....ow, ow ow...stop hitting me you girls!!

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at July 30, 2009 6:36 PM

I'm a little disappointed that someone is being pinpointed (to me even feels like a bit of a grilling) for a decision they made. We all have a choice in everything we do. It's a personal choice and shouldn't have to be justified to anyone. Why do we sometimes choose to decline an offer - because we can. And those decisions of ours need to be respected (that doesn't mean you have to agree with it).
I would like to think that if I decline a kiss, I will never have to justify my decision (on these blogs or anywhere else).
Ali

Posted by: ali1974 at July 30, 2009 6:22 PM

I agree with Bob and Onemore, I would rather be on my own with 50 cats than to compromise my own happiness just to share my grog with someone. I have heaps of friends and if fate has it in store that I don't meet my match - well so be it.

I have a close male friend who has been in my life for about 20 years, we have a pact that if we're both not married at 70 we're going to get nursing home rooms next door to each other, in the arvo we'll be sitting in our rockers, drinkie in hand and he reckons he'll tell me "Nik I told you our standards were too high".

Posted by: aloveoflife at July 30, 2009 6:06 PM

Hi Guys,

You are never alone so long as you have true friends....I have them already. I am actually a pretty happy single guy...have been for years, but no feamale friends in Sydney because thety have all moved on in their lives, so thought I would look for a couple on here. In the end I have made one in Sydney....and several interstate...two on here that I really have more than a lot of time for....though for different reasons.

Bottom line...still dont know too many women in Sydney who are just happy to meet a guy for a no strings attached friendship of drinks, dinner etc...oh well, shit happens!!!

bob

Posted by: notafigjam at July 30, 2009 6:01 PM

Another good reason to sit on the porch with a beer watching the sun go down, maybe a little music playing in the background. Prefer a nice glass of red myself or maybe a rum and coke, bit of Leonard Cohen in the background and the dog at my feet. Beautiful feeling of freedom at times as there is nothing worse than being lonely when you are not on your own.

Posted by: iaminperth at July 30, 2009 5:11 PM

Posted by: rue26 at July 29, 2009 12:58 PM

Well welcome to RSVP, hope you enjoy it and so long as you take it for what it is, you will enjoy it and you never know, maybe meet someone fabulous, in fact several fabulous if you are very lucky :-)

Glad you enjoyed the read :-)

Oh Bob, I am with you, I don't think its such a huge big deal if I am sitting on my own drinking a beer when I am older..............there are huge amounts of things in the world that are amazing to do other than be in a pair, especailly a pair that doesnt fit, but you try so hard to squeeze in so sit rather uncomfortably :-)

If I meet someone great, then fine, but it scares me not one bit to be 80 and sitting on my own, as in all likelyhood, I would be even if I married, as men croak earlier than women generally speaking. Plus on the other hand, hmmmmmmmm would I rather be in suburbia festering with an old codger, or maybe flying off to Peru, or maybe doing some charity work in a far off land and being a free spirit?

There are so many options, we dont have to limit ourselves to life only being worth living in a pair. Our friendships can be our soulmates, our people who care, the people who we make smile and smile back at us..........we focus so much on the one, but look around, really with open eyes, how many couples are really something to aspire to?

I am not against it, dont get me wrong..............it would be absolutely fabulous to meet my best friend to laugh through life with and be big kids.......but it really is no drama if I dont......then I will go be that free spirit, travel, do charity work, meet loads of new interesting people and live great without a partner.

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at July 30, 2009 3:32 PM

HEY BOB.....Have I got your attention ? Mate....thats not a good outlook .One day you'll be sitting at home having a beer on your own and wondering " what if ". Some one once said to me " you never catch up on what you miss out on "
Cheers

Posted by: yeahitsme2 at July 30, 2009 1:04 PM

Hi Gimmeabreak,

I dont remember expressing anything that suggests that I am that good that I dont want contact with anyone...its a personal choice because I am happy with where I am and with those contacts Ive made...there is nothing personal in my response to you.

I cant imagine whom our mutual friend might be, but they surely would have told you that I am a pretty easy-going sort of guy and make my own choices in life, and am not full of myself or my own self importance. I certainly dont make friends from a perceived obligation to respond positively to any contacts that are made to me...nor do I expect the same when I make those contacts

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at July 29, 2009 11:41 PM

'I would like to get to know you' should never be mistaken for 'I want to jump your bones' Bob.

I'm delighted that you find yourself in the enviable position of not wanting contact with anyone. I lurk when I have the time (not very often), and I hugely I enjoy your comments, and to top it off, a mutual friend of ours thinks we would probably be great friends. Shame our communications were stymied by supposition and assumption and the rather arrogant presumption that friends are something one makes due to their ubiquity on a blog. Rather limiting, don't you think?

Posted by: gimmeabreak at July 29, 2009 8:47 PM

Welcome aboard this crazy vessel Rue, I look forward to your blogs, great profile! Nik

Posted by: aloveoflife at July 29, 2009 6:41 PM

Hi onemoreoption

I am also fairly new to RSVP and have just been reading your blogs with interest. You gave some very pertinent advice so I decided to read your profile. Go Girl, you said exactly what I have been thinking for the last couple of weeks, so refreshing to read. Will read on with interest. Thank you

Posted by: rue26 at July 29, 2009 12:58 PM

Hi Gimmeabreak,

Sorry if I have upset you; but the reason I declined is because, as my headline reads...."I am not looking anymore, just chatting to my friends and blogging". I am not interested in contact with anyone...but the choices of response are limited, so obviously I choose the wrong one.

bob

Posted by: notafigjam at July 29, 2009 12:53 PM

but give me the good old western suburbs woman any time....beautiful, smart...and down to earth.

Posted by notafigjam at July 18, 2009 8:57 AM

Bob, these are admirable sentiments but I find them somewhat shallow.

I have another profile here - with picture, well written, thoughtful, funny, down to earth. I don't live in your neighbourhood. I sent you a kiss. You declined, saying that you would be in touch if you changed your mind.

With respect Bob, I would sincerely like to know - hair extensions aside for a moment, what exactly would cause you to consider saying yes to someone's offer to chat some more?

Posted by: gimmeabreak at July 28, 2009 10:49 PM

Bob, are you a Leo?

Posted by: glitteringblue at July 27, 2009 9:51 PM

Hey Girls,

The extensions look great...not that I would know the difference anyway....my hair is my best feature too!!

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at July 27, 2009 1:55 PM

Hi All,

Guy or girl...if they dont like you as you are, then why go there? I dont want to meet someone and then find out they are not that person, who I meet is who I want; good, bad and indifferent.

bob

Posted by: notafigjam at July 26, 2009 5:16 PM

Posted by: glitteringblue at July 24, 2009 5:47 PM

we can all make allowances and compromise is a wonderful thing..

Posted by: unknownauthor at July 26, 2009 3:41 AM

psst . . . unknown . . . I'll let you in on a little secret. . . I am actually a greyhound (structurally speaking o'course). I believe I'm not too bad to cuddle up to . . . but then again, I know what I'd prefer if I was guy, and that would be - no sharp edges : )))

Posted by: glitteringblue at July 24, 2009 5:47 PM

Hi Lucky,
Have to agree with the others I think, maybe you are just attracting the wrong kind of guy for you.
Reworking your profile may help, but it may also mean you get a lot less interest as well!
I gues it depends if you seriously want someone interested in the 'real' you, or just the boost to your ego that lots of attention brings.
I'm sure it was great to start with, but now if you're looking for someone who is interested in more than just a fling, your profile really needs to reflect that.

And don't take it to heart, as others have said, just look at it as those guys aren't looking for the same as you, so it's just as well you found out BEFORE arranging a babysitter for a really dud date!
And also on the bright side, at least you didn't pay for the stamp.

Onemore,
The mind boggles!

Posted by: amberlight58 at July 24, 2009 9:06 AM

Posted by: glitteringblue at July 23, 2009 11:08 PM

So tru GB but i know some greyhounds that are great to snuggle with also........or am i dreaming...??????????

Posted by: unknownauthor at July 23, 2009 11:35 PM

Maybeperfect - maybe your Mr Right would like you just the way you are?? Maybe you would be perfect for him?? Maybe he would not want you to drop some weight??

Just my thoughts this evening. It's cold and blokes like to cuddle up with a warm cuddly woman y'know. None of this greyhound syndrome - yuk!

Have fun with your mates tomorrow!!!

Luv Glitter xo

Posted by: glitteringblue at July 23, 2009 11:08 PM

OMG I just had the best laugh, thanks guys.

Welcome to RSVP and the blogs Lucky...... your experience is pretty much the standard experience unfortunately. Just my opinion, I agree with willow, in that your profile sends mixed messages and I've no doubt men would read more into your profile than you're intending it to say. To be honest reading it it sounds like you're looking for a Friend With Benefit. Which is totally fine if that's what you're after, but if it's not you might want to change it around a bit. Hope that helps some.

I'm off for a night out with mates tomorrow night... can't wait. In the mean time on a mission to drop some weight to attract mr right for moi.

Have a brilliant weekend all xo

Posted by: maybeperfect4u at July 23, 2009 9:47 PM

Amber, I never heard from him again...wonder why....???

Nik, what a crack-up, I'm still laughing...the things we do for vanity...I love it...!!

Mine are bonded on, so it's pretty hard to yank them off...but my grand daughter pulled one off last week...ouch...!!

Virgo...:) xoxo

Posted by: virgowoman2 at July 23, 2009 9:15 PM

Posted by: virgowoman2 at July 23, 2009 9:48 AM

That is so hilarious VG, must remember that one next time I want someone to lose interest really quickly!

Posted by: amberlight58 at July 23, 2009 8:34 PM

Hey Virgo and Onemore, a close friend of mine has extensions and after spending time one weekend with her love interest she went back to her own home. Later that day he turned up to return to her what she'd left behind on her pillow. How embarrassment!!

Posted by: aloveoflife at July 23, 2009 5:58 PM

Oh Virgo, I have had a few guys think I didnt like them after they try and touch my hair and I pull away thinking 'oh hell, are they going to get a shock' Hahahahaha

Karen, hilarious............all hell certainly does break loose, I cant see thing without them, all kinds of mistakes have been made :-)

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at July 23, 2009 11:40 AM

Hey onemore.
Like the naughty but nice librarian pic! I bet when those glasses come off... all hell breaks lose in the 'reference section'!!! Ha!

Posted by: karen59 at July 23, 2009 10:28 AM

Apologies to everybody..I've gone right off the thread here...just wanted to share something with Onemore, that she might find funny...

I was chatting with a guy one night, and during the session he commented on my hair, and that he would like to run his fingers through it...my reply was.."oh no, you can't do that, you might pull it out"...there was just silence...no reply...chat session closed...!!

Virgo...:) xo

Posted by: virgowoman2 at July 23, 2009 9:48 AM

Hi Luckygirl and welcome. Just a theory - maybe some men read the combination of "spending weekends in resorts", "fun loving" and "not looking for commitment" in a different way to which you intended it? Some people read what they want to read and perhaps they're misinterpreting your "wants".

On the other hand, if they have blocked you, think yourself lucky that their cowardice has saved you from communicating with a person who clearly has different motives.
Best of luck!

Posted by: willow29 at July 23, 2009 9:07 AM

Hey Virgo,

Yeh, I got those Jess Simpson ones, absolutely brilliant, everything from the short ones, the long wavy and the long straight. One of my friends calls me Jane Bond with all my different looks.

Its great fun, I also enjoy on a big night out taking one in my bag, changing the hair extensions I have in, just to see if anyone notices and watch the ones who have consumed a lot of alcohol looking very strangely at me as if to say 'there is something odd there'.

:-) x

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at July 22, 2009 10:24 PM

Hey Onemore,

Love your new pics....very nice....and you wear hair extensions too....hair power to us....yayy...!!

Virgo...:) xo

Posted by: virgowoman2 at July 22, 2009 9:16 PM

Hi Luckygirl,
To find out if it's you who's been blocked or they've just switched off their profile, log out of rsvp and do a name search. If you can see their profile when you're not logged in, then they've blocked your username. If you can't see their profile, then they have switched their profile off.

Take it all with a grain of salt (or sometimes a handful) and try not to take it (their rudenss or choices) too personally. The discussion of manners (and lack of) is currently the flavour of other blogs here too.
Ali

Posted by: ali1974 at July 22, 2009 6:18 PM

luckygirl74 at July 22, 2009 1:04 PM

Hi there Lucky, welcome to the internet then :-)

I get where you are coming from, but also, with there being so many people out there, I think maybe you are getting too focussed on that one or two when they dont deserve it yet, if that makes sense?

The men on here are very fickle creatures, as are the women, so dont whatever you do take it personally, but from my perspecitve, if every time I logged on, a guy was private messaging me to say hello, or emailing hello, I would probably say after a while it was being a bit in my face, guys however, would likely choose to hit the block button rather than just say they didnt want to talk every time they logged on as they have other people to chat to too.....nature of most men I am afraid, they tend to end relationships the same way these days too I have found, without saying anything and just dropping off the face of the earth :-) spines have been removed Lucky.....there are I am sure some who still have spines in their bodies though I am sure....well maybe not so much, but one never knows :-)

Just keep on trucking I say, you will chat to droves, some will be good, some will be bad...some you will connect with, some you will want to run from fast, others may want to run from you..........but you can never take it personally, the internet is a numbers game and really, in my view, noone should be dating anyone exclusively until they have known someone a good three months as a friend, to get to know and see if they are a match, which takes time....until then, I believe dating should be open and non exclusive, as you want the right one, not the one who you made fit because you really liked his hair, smile or eyes.

Just my pennies worth, but suspect they may have blocked, but thats just spineless instead of maybe saying they needed more time to chat to others.

I say its less manners and more cowardess actually on their part.....but keep chin up and get out there and mingle.....and you never know, one might just be fabulous if you meet enough new friends

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at July 22, 2009 5:47 PM

Hello to all, im new to this online in every way and im just getting familiar with all to do with RSVP and i get some interesting fellow who has started talking to me and wants to chat more but gets online and doesnt say hello(and i think am i meant to?). then i get the courage to say hi and there profile is inactive what does that mean are they seeing someone or have they blocked me? if they had met someone thats great! im happy for them, if not what did i do to get blocked if this be the case........im honest enough to let them know im looking for freindship only as im not big on sex straight up with strangers and all are stangers until you really get to know someone outside of online. so where are the manners? if you initiate contact why not tell them you've been on a few dates with this person and things are looking good, and be honest and simply say im signing off and wish you well in your search thanks for the chats. i've had 3 men initiate contact with me and we have time left for chats and they are now inactive. ive been very honest with new members wanting to chat, and simply reply that im óverwhelmbed with contact at the moment etc. id rather give one on one quality time with those i am chating too now.......does anyone else get where im coming from???????

Posted by: luckygirl74 at July 22, 2009 1:04 PM

mbp4u@9.02am:
Don't hold your breath (VBG) there are some things I never share :-)

Maureen

Posted by: kurli at July 22, 2009 10:20 AM

Good mornin all,

Virgo thanks forthe Wave.... v encouraging and a nice change amidst the three Thanks but No Thanks.

Ali....images of stalking come to mind... takes all kinds doesn't it

Kurli I"m giong to live vicariously through you and ur hot Choc.

Posted by: maybeperfect4u at July 22, 2009 9:02 AM

Hi Onemore,
No-no, when i say get a txt saying 'hi' I'm thinking a few weeks into the dating with the one person (god no about the next day - argh! *shudder*) I think if I started getting txts every day from day 1 I'd feel a bit stalked.
Have had the situation where a guy I met on a Saturday night at a function sent a text on the sunday night and then again on Monday morning (before 7am!!!! because he was awake and on his way to work - it was an RDO for me and i wasn't impressed) It ended that same day after some further txts from him asking why I hadn't responded and why it was taking me so long to answer him etc..
Ali.
p.s. but do think I need more of your perspective, brings a good balance. I like it :-)

Posted by: ali1974 at July 21, 2009 6:37 PM

Hi dEco,
Glad to hear things are going so well for you!
(Sounded like he was just "your type" when you first told us about him!) That is truly wonderful. Hope it just gets better and better.

Good stuff Kurli,
Knew that hip replacement couldn't keep you down for too long!

Onemore,
Yep I agree with you and Karen, some great points.
May seem like they care, but it can be a way of keeping 'tabs' on you, so you can't forget about them.
It just screams 'needy' and being insecure within themselves.

Saw a scary profile the other day, a man who actually wrote in his headline, that he was looking for someone "to look after me" (Can hear the stampeding of over-excited women pounding towards him - NOT!)
Mother Me Theresa!
Well at least you can't accuse him of not being honest!

Posted by: amberlight58 at July 21, 2009 2:57 PM

Virgo 20/7:
TY for your good wishes........have decided to go Hidden profile and concentrate on my "dark chocolate" VBG

As for kisses & emails: I hate the ones where he asks for email, is plainly online and cant be bothered exhibiting a modicum of "manners" and saying he has changed his mind. His LOSS!
Someone else found me !!
.Life is GRAND!

Posted by: kurli at July 21, 2009 11:23 AM

Playfair I hear you there.
Onemore very well put in regards to the fantasy of re-enacting what once was with someone else..... I've been guilty of doing the same, and seeing another attempt to do same. Retrospect is a great eye opener.
FG I learnt long ago to put phone on silent or off at night.... beep beep beeeeeeeeeeeeep at anytime after 10 is just not on... yeah I must be getting old, but I don't care.... happy to get the text in the morn when I do turn the phone on.
Virgo - I'm jealous!!!! I want hot chocolate.. heck I settle for luke warm chocolate at the mo hehe

I finally got a Kiss In this week wooo hooooo at long last... however, I couldn't decipher the profile, and so asked them to up date it.... haven't heard back..... Either I don't get his sense of humour or he really is 'nut'ty.

Life's good,
xo

Posted by: maybeperfect4u at July 21, 2009 9:24 AM

onemore ... July 20 8.21 PM
Spot on... agree whole heartedly!
"re-enacting a past relationship cozy status"
... exactly right!
It is craving something that is not really... couldn't really be there yet!
Karen.

Posted by: karen59 at July 21, 2009 8:09 AM

Playfair Wait till you get to the third date ..... hehe

Posted by: aloveoflife at July 19, 2009 10:40 AM

I hear you on the texting..... Man, just about to close my eyes and Beep beep. Bloody nearly have a heart attack every time. Then it rattles your sleep pattern for halfa then you just close your eyes again and ...Beep beep.. I tell ya, young ones never seem to sleep these days....?! Now the phone goes on silent.
Ciao Bella

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at July 20, 2009 9:16 PM

Hi Ali, you are quite different to me, you see if someone i have only just been on a date or two with starts texting through the day to say hi, let me know they are thinking of me, I would find that a bit of a red flag and wonder why so early in the piece.

Yes, when you are in a full blown relationship, someone may want to think about you, but I find it a bit fantasist rather than reality to be so inclined so early....its like they are re-enacting a past relationship cozy status, but it isnt genuine.

For me at the beginning, contact should be no more than a new friend and a new girl/guy pal wouldnt be texting me every day to just say hi.

I know how easy it is to get caught up in the fantasy of something new rather than the reality and then so many people end up getting hurt, when the reality sets in and someone backs away after a flight of fantasy.......where people crave what they know in a relationship, the closeness and having someone interested in what they did that day, or need the contact.

I have been victim to that so many times, the rush in, act like you are attached, get in touch every day, when at that point you should both be meeting other people and just enjoy getting to know someone, without acting like you are closer than you are.

Just my view of course..........each to their own and if it works for others, thats great........I have just found that texting thing ends in disaster as its bringing a closeness too early that isnt really developed or real yet.

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at July 20, 2009 8:21 PM

I don't mind if an initial text is sent to organise a time for the first call - just a little courtesy to avoid the 'throne' room situation.
(grrr...can't stand it when I hear people answering their phone in the toilet.)
If the date/relationship is progressing well then I don't mind the odd text throughout the day to just say 'hi' (it's an indication the person thought of you, but might not have an opportunity to make the call), but otherwise much prefer the phone call and a chat.
Ali

Posted by: ali1974 at July 20, 2009 6:22 PM

Personally I have found the second date more dour-ting than the first. Not that I have Too many second dates Or first dates LOL. O well keep on trying.

Posted by: playfair67 at July 20, 2009 4:18 PM

Nik - No problems on an invite if one is organised.

Sorry - haven't been writing much lately. Got a heap of stuff going on at the moment.

I will contact you off-blog.

Jen

Posted by: jen234 at July 20, 2009 11:25 AM

How funny Perth..I was just about to type that I don't mind text messages..and my phone just messaged...the wind down here in Melbourne is pretty bad too, it's been like it since last night..but we're expecting 18 degrees today...goodness, a heatwave for Melbourne...!!

Virgo..:)

Posted by: virgowoman2 at July 20, 2009 11:18 AM

Hey Kurli,

Great to see you back, and good to hear that you're on the mend...!

Two dark chocolate phone calls over the weekend...how smooth and delicious..!!

Can't keep a good woman that's in lurve down for long..!!

Virgo...:)

Posted by: virgowoman2 at July 20, 2009 10:56 AM

I don't mind text messages, so long as they're playful and not serious. I suppose living with teenagers has somewhat de sensitized me in that respect. The texts I receive are always positive and thoughful keeping in touch type things from the kids that have so far passed thru my life so receiving one from an adult doesn't phase me at all. I would find it rather strange though if they weren't followed by a phone call or a mixture of both. Have to say, in Perth, we are having wet and windy weather like I haven't seen before. Apparently lot of people have damaged houses, power lines down and all the other dramas that go with it. Looks like we are in for some more today as well. It's cold as well down to 1 dg and ice the other morning, so not nice for the people who don't have a home to go to.

Posted by: iaminperth at July 20, 2009 10:25 AM

TY for the welcome back Nik!
Am mending well after 4 weeks,but not up to even half marathons yet VBG
Sorry about no medics being sent your way,but an absolute dearth of talent where I was.

As for phone calls..........had two over the weekend.Imagine if you can "dark chocolate" and I dont mean skin tones!
I think I'm in lurve :-)

Posted by: kurli at July 20, 2009 10:18 AM

Here Tis Bob, foutre le camp

Posted by: aloveoflife at July 19, 2009 6:56 PM

Saw My Life in Ruins today, loved it, laughed out loud. There's a message in the movie, don't take life so seriously, take a chance, if not you just might miss what you've been yearning for. Ok, so I'm a romantic at heart, see the world thru rose coloured glasses, who cares!! Pick up the phone and don't waste another moment of your life. So you get knocked back - so what, what have you lost, nothing. What do you do if you get knocked back - shout Next!!

PS - Victorian bloggers, us others expect an invite to the next bloggers catch up. Yes I will brave the cold for a fun evening, will happily fly down to Melbourne or Sydney (please make it after winter, hehehe) maybe you'd like to come to Brisvegas?

BJ - I agree with you a funny sexy little text doesn't go astray but when you're only being contacted via text, well I think someone needs to grow up.

Kurli, so glad to see you back, I take it you're well on the mend now? Where's my doctor I put in a request for lol. You'll be up in your glider soon!!

Gotta go, red thai curry nearly ready, Nik x

Posted by: aloveoflife at July 19, 2009 6:07 PM

Thank you FG that was a lovely thing to say!! Vous etes tres sucre!! Merci beaucoup. As for the dinner, once only, I soon tired of the late night texting - ended up texting back to him that I'd didn't know why he bothered as he doesn't have time for anyone, haven't heard anything since - funny that. My mobile now goes off at night, never used to turn it off at all but got sick of the beeps when I needed good sleep.
If however he decided to be grown up and called, well I'll reconsider but start the texting again and out the door thanks.

Glad you found us Virgo, I think the guys would have withdrawal symptoms if you didn't.

Onemore - I never knew men could multitask, text and take a leak - don't go there, not the visuals - nooooo!

The great thing on these blogs Bob is that the guys all have a great sense of humour, so do most of the bloggers and you're all great fun.

Have a lovely day, I'm off to see My Life in Ruins (apt?!?). Au Revoir!

Posted by: aloveoflife at July 19, 2009 10:40 AM

Okay, okay... I mean "BLIGHTER"! Yep even teachers make mistakes! :)

Shropshire... that's it ...! Alove I don't think we can blame Shropshire for his rather effeminate voice. I am sur it is a lovely place. Are you dropping in on your way to France?

Glad you found the purple phone Virgo! I hear you regarding submitting a post... can be frustrating to say the least!

One more, regarding your "just taking a leek" text. My ex-husband used to talk to people on his mobile while perched on the throne!!! How "off" is that!

So do I need to keep a dictionary close at hand when writing a post?... am I allowed typo,s?...proof read? S**t! Do I have spelling mistakes in my profile? I best have a look see!
Karen :)

Posted by: karen59 at July 19, 2009 9:38 AM

a "blitter" be pirate speak... you know, like a scurvy dog ...etc.

Posted by: karen59 at July 17, 2009 10:35 PM
Blighter maybe better methinks me hearties, aaarrrggggghhhhhhhhhhh

Nice pic and profile 59

I personally like phone calls pretty soon after making first contact, but only if the other person is up for it. The voice is a real good indication about how a person thinks, and shows whether they have a sense of humour,

Posted by: unknownauthor at July 18, 2009 1:58 PM

Posted by: asoulkindoffeeling at July 17, 2009 10:43 PM

Not grabbing his hand when you want to is like writing a letter but not sending it. Maude from "Harold and Maude": 'Reach out, take a chance, get hurt even, play as well as you can." Terrible to be lying on your death bed thinking 'I should have......' Apparently these are the only type of ppl who cannot die a peaceful death.

Posted by: diditforlove at July 18, 2009 12:57 PM

Hi all. I recently had lots of phone contact with a man prior to meeting him and it was very nice, gave us a chance to get to know each other a little better. And I do like funny, sexy text messages. Bob, I think Karen means "blighter".

Posted by: bj2901 at July 18, 2009 11:50 AM

Posted by: asoulkindoffeeling at July 17, 2009 10:43 PM

I agree..its all very complicated..and get a little rattled by the uncertainty of the dating world :)

Posted by: onestepcloser67 at July 18, 2009 11:21 AM

Hi all..

I haven't been around for a few months.. busy with Real Life & a new relationship which is going really well (found on rsvp).

On topic.. the first phone call.
Yes.. quite daunting.
I think it should be made quickly once a number has been given.
I don't like the phone.. I'd rather communicate in person or by email.. but there's no denying the importance of hearing the voice for the first time. Not only the voice, but the manner, the language, the accent..
Make or break for me too.
And I strongly contend that one knows very early if there's potential.. even if the voice, emails & photos are scoring points, I believe it comes down to that first meeting.

Many people dislike the word 'chemistry', but for me I can't find a better one to describe the irrational attraction we either feel or don't feel on meeting for the first time.

The phone call & photos, though, are critical. From the photos I get more information than what the person looks like.
I look at the background... I'm an artist, & if they are standing in front of a highly conservative loungeroom I know we we'll have nothing in common.
If they are holding The Fish, or leaning on The Car or The Bike.. again, we won't get along.
If they are wearing 'slacks', a polo shirt (or worse, tucking it in), a suit (unless it's edgy) or socks with sandals *gasp*.. again, we would be wasting our time.
If their walls are displaying 'motel art' (or worse, nothing at all) it would be pointless to pursue...
I've nothing against all those things.. but recognise that as quirky, moderately eccentric individual, I'm just not the one for a conservative guy.

However.. if the profile, photo & email boxes are ticked, I find the first phone call anxious.. after all, the poor guy has run the gamut of my (admittedly) very stringent discrimination & emerged unscathed. Not being a 'phone person' I like to meet the person quickly.. preferably after the first phone call if that's a success.

To my mind, if there is a reluctance to meet quickly (unless it is interstate, of course) then they are just not that into you, imho.
For me, life's just too short to procrastinate over what is, after all, a simple coffee catch-up. If they are not willing to invest an hour....

dEco

Posted by: decoratress at July 18, 2009 11:08 AM

Hey Nik,

If you like a man with a sense of humour, you would love me....you cant look like this and not laugh!!

Dumb men, dumb women...all the same. OK, you need that physical attraction but, if you cant hoild a conversation or you are fighting him for the mirror, it will soon wear off and then you find yourself stuck in a relationship with a good looking moron.

Personally speaking, I like intelligent women, but not people that spend their lives psycho-analysing everything, or being superior because they have great intellect. I live in an area of brilliant career women...beautiful, intelligent....but give me the good old western suburbs woman any time....beautiful, smart...and down to earth.

I dont know the rest of the ladies here that well, but Nik and Lizzie....2 great girls!!

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at July 18, 2009 8:57 AM

Oh glorious, I love this subject.

After dating far too many, as in far far far too many men who live their life and have their entire relationships through text, to me it is banned and one of the biggest red flags is a man who texts you too much, especially the sweet dreams, miss you, how are you, just taking a leak kind of texting.

I have met numerous men who have seemed really great, then it starts, you notice after about four weeks you havent seen them again, but you are having a text relationship, every day living as part of their lives, acting like a married couple via text.....its boring, infuriating and annoying, especially when you are curled up watching a movie and beep beep interrupts all the time.

I since banned texting, unless its a simple thanks for a lovely evening type of text, but if I start getting hows your day gone? type texts.....he is a gonner, as yes, for me its a sign of a guy wanting a fantasy relationship and not a real one.

Posted by: onemoreoption37 at July 18, 2009 4:49 AM

Oh, here you all are.....I couldn't find my friends, and I went looking for you...what's with the purple telephone...!!

Virgo...:)

This took me 7 attempts to post....
NOT HAPPY JAN..!!!!!!

Posted by: virgowoman2 at July 18, 2009 1:20 AM

Well Welll Alove the truth comes out..!!!
Posted by: aloveoflife at July 17, 2009 9:28 PM
recently had dinner with a lovely man, every night...???

Sorry i didn't pick it up earlier.. Having some emotional baggage problems.. Called, TAX time.!

Couldn't trick the FG tho.. Ciao Naughty.

Posted by: feelgood76 at July 18, 2009 12:26 AM

Hey Karen, hate to tell you this but I'm a Pom and was born in..........drum roll please Shropshire. True. I just about died when that ad came on tv. Have no trace of an accent so thankfully not many people ask me where in England I was born - whew!!

I thought a blitter was a cocktail.....must go to bed. Night all!! Stay warm.

Posted by: aloveoflife at July 17, 2009 11:59 PM

131332 what's on your mind Australia...?
Anyone who has ever listened to John Laws will know what i'm on about.

Vous etes tres belle, Nuit Nik. Mwaa xx

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at July 17, 2009 11:59 PM

Well Perthy i'm like you and kurli.. Love a good speaking voice. Can't bet a sexy voice on the phone when you haven't met before. Make's for an interesting meet.
I've done the total blind date thing twice before and was kinda awkward.... Yuck.
My phone at the moment has 167 text msg on it and i've had around 4 phone calls.....??? Not looking good then..!
FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at July 17, 2009 11:00 PM

Hey Bob, glad you agree, texting is fine to say thanks for a nice evening which is what it started off as but then.....too much. Oh, you're trying to speak French, me likey!!!

Agree Perth, a great sense of humour is so important, I'd rather that in a man than a dumb and boring Fabio type.

Au revoir ma petites!!

Posted by: aloveoflife at July 17, 2009 10:48 PM

Hello All,

I agree that the first phone call is the most nerve wracking but then there's the frequency of contact after the first meeting. Is it being to keen to just call to say "Hello"? I like contact but am afraid of scaring a man off by making it. Actually this extends to the physical contact too. Sometimes I really want to take his hand but don't want him to think I am staking a claim - but perhaps I should? It's all so complicated...

Posted by: asoulkindoffeeling at July 17, 2009 10:43 PM

Hey d**khead with deep voice you make me laugh! I hear you Kurli, How could we ever forget the "moccona ad" ... Hunky black dude from "Worpshire"! (sp?)
Bob, a "blitter" be pirate speak... you know, like a scurvy dog ...etc.

Posted by: karen59 at July 17, 2009 10:35 PM

Hey Nik,

Totally agree...texting is OK if you are just saying a couple of things after the date...but asking for another...lacks a certain savoir faire dont you think?

If he/she is not calling, then just not that into you....seems to me theres a lot of truth in that; think theres a message there for us all!!

Hi Karen,

I think its easier for guys to jump straight in...not so much for girls...and why should you; but I have done it on a couple of ocassions....good fun, but the girls were really lovely women too; just not that much in common relationship wise...but one is an ongoing friend with whom I have had luch now on a few occasions.

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at July 17, 2009 9:46 PM

I'm a bit like you Kurli, like a good speaking voice and like good humour also.

Posted by: iaminperth at July 17, 2009 9:36 PM

Hey Nik,

No apologies necessary, I know it was tongue in cheek...was silly enough to allow myself to be played once before...that happens again.....F*&^ you and your dog (maybe the one in the back of the ute)!!!

Hey Karen,

Whats a 'blitter"?

Hey Maybe,

You get lots or requests to ass you on 2nd dates....lucky girl!!!

Hi Kurli,

I have a voice as deep as they come...but still a dickhead!!

bob

Posted by: notafigjam at July 17, 2009 9:35 PM

Hi Maybe, I agree with the texting, recently had dinner with a lovely man, every night thereafter was a late text, sweet dreams, thinking of you et al, however I refer back to my trusty little bible - "If he's not calling you he's just not into you". Five weeks in we've had one date, only spoke on the phone twice and that was when I called him, over dinner fabulous conversation and lots in common. Obviously I was mistaken! Come on, we're all grown ups and know how to use the phone. If he were to call I would think differently of him than what I think at the moment.

Posted by: aloveoflife at July 17, 2009 9:28 PM

Hey all, was going to respond on official fling but looks like its closed :-(

Karen and Virgo, yes I know that by reminding you I'm making you jealous, don't worry lovelies I'll think of you when I'm there. Ta Perth, I'm looking forward to the food just not the 6 kilos, will be doing a lot of walking so hope that helps a little.

Bob, comment was tongue in cheek, didn't mean offence, just the picture of you eating whatever the lovely Virgo dished up made me laugh!

Hope you all have a great weekend, stay warm!!

Posted by: aloveoflife at July 17, 2009 6:32 PM

Oh dear! First phone calls make or break it for me.......
Forget the content!
i\If the VOICE does not have the required timbre..no matter how intelligently he converses.......it's redrover.......all over!
Shallow?? who cares.......MY choice

Posted by: kurli at July 17, 2009 6:31 PM

Bob you make me laugh, thanks

What I loathe is the TEXT after your first date asing you on a second........ Is it just me or is that just sooooo not right!

Mind you, been so long since I've met anyone that's asked or desired my number I forget what it's like waiting for THAT call....

Posted by: maybeperfect4u at July 17, 2009 6:26 PM

Argh! You're a dare devil Bob! Dive into the adventure! I, on the other hand, would like to pre-determine if the blitter has the capacity to string a few sentences together!

Posted by: karen59 at July 17, 2009 6:10 PM

Hey FG,

Mate, you do alright with the blogs, so think that you are probably OK with the emails...the girls seem to love you anyway.

I am a hopeless conversationalist on the phone...except in extra-ordinary circumstances; women dont make me the least bit nervous (except exceptional ones); I just dont like talking on the phone. I like talking to anyone face to face...look them in the eye when you say things, because the eyes convey your honesty. Anyone can say and write whatever they like, and be completely dishonest...the eyes dont lie when you look straight into them.

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at July 17, 2009 5:51 PM

Hi folks

Feeling more relaxed on the phone these days has given me the edge over emails. As you all probaly aware by now my punctuation with emails is some what lack luster. I perfer the phone over text on the screen anyday, as emails are very hard to tell ones tone in their voice. A phone conversation can swing easily without misunderstandings giving a natural approach in pursuing or maintaing friendship with someone.
Stories can be shared quickly with a sense of humour and those stories can give a person more insight to who you are. Phones are direct and that's what i like best..strike while the irons hot...!!

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at July 17, 2009 5:11 PM

Hey Karen,

I totally misread this blog topic....I was about to spew about closing the pub early!!!

Forget the call, lets meet. I really get a kick out of meeting for the first time...especially if neither of us has seen the others photo. Hey, its not as if we are meeting to arrange a marriage, so why all the fuss?

Bob

Posted by: notafigjam at July 17, 2009 5:09 PM

Immediately thank-you very much! I expect total devotion from the outset! Ha :D

Posted by: karen59 at July 17, 2009 4:09 PM