RSVP Blog

That's a good list browneyes. I've only met one man who I'd consider apt to fit the bill, and frankly I wouldn't care what he looks like to others because to me he'll be the hottest man on the planet regardless of his grooming techniques or abilities. Finding the right person is more than looks or ability; it's more like an unsaid spiritual connection that takes place aside from these things.

Posted by: reminiscing1 at November 1, 2011 6:10 PM

Well I agree with some that a well groomed man is oh so appealing...but... How important is it really.
Now I do think a basic sense of what not to wear is a must, yet agree that when it comes to topics such as moral compasses and good witty conversation, I find the latter truly sexy!

My request: Someone soft on the eye with brains, DIY skills, great with kids, a heart of gold, the ability to make me happy and a formidable moral compass.....Hey a girl can hope can she not?

Posted by: browneyes91 at September 25, 2011 9:20 PM

I like a man who takes care of himself, in the true spirit of equality, if I can do it so can he. A well groomed man tells me that he's confident enough to make his best features stand out. I'm not sure if it's just me, but unfortunately I steroetype scruffy for lazy, terrible I know!

As for DIY I don't mind if he's as clueless as I am, at least we can learn how to fix things together!

Posted by: dinkykitty at December 10, 2010 8:01 PM

Oh well said Perthy... You have saved me formulating what I think and putting it into words! [I might have to use my last stamp on you so we can exchange details and chat some more.. in private... Magnet is doing her best to 'sort' me... LOL she has her hands full]
I agree phoenix. The last thing I want to do is be going out with someone who looks and acts like my dad!! Talk about 'old' before their time!!

Now I have to stop reading and make a point to come back and read some more comments later...
Cheers everybody.

Posted by: tellmewhynot at October 15, 2010 8:38 PM

I would say to those women complaining about men. Take a good look in the mirror and do a self evaluation. The man of your dreams may turn out to be a psychopath. Then you may have to complain to the police for protection.

Posted by: foodieatheart at October 15, 2010 7:09 PM

Some of the late fifties, early sixty guys are a real worry I think. They don't seem to realise they still have a lot of living to do and have 'wound down' so to speak. They haven't upgraded any of their wardrobe for years, let alone their personal habits. Their skin is dried out and neglected and hands and nails, well we won't go there. Even their speech seems to have changed dramatically and is either so old and ';oh well' or they are babbling along with a sort of nasal twang that could cut the air with a knife. They seem to want to sit a lot and do nothing. They are old before their time and really have nothing wrong with them except they have totally 'let themselves go'. I have worked full time since I was 15 years old and the last job I held for many years was incredibly challenging both physically and mentally and for me, this is a new chapter. A time not to sit and wait for death. I can'[t stand people who moan, just can't stand it. Waste of time, waste of air and an insult to anyone who is really not well or not able to get on with their lives. Perhaps I am just intolerant, I don't know, but we only have one life and I certainly don't want to be remembered for being a waste of space.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 15, 2010 1:58 PM

I find that guys either concentrate on how they look or are good at fixing things ... hardly likely to get both .. and be a great communicator as well .. something I find very important as if you cant talk to one another the rest is unimportant.
Exercise in any form.. eg Aquarobics should be a must for we "Mature" types looking for a little romance on RSVP ..
I had lunch with a gent yesterday, 6 yrs older than me and not puting in much effort re style or the spare tyre. Very off puting .. despite the fact that I enjoy talking to him.Might as well have been eating lunch with one of my delightful old Uncles!
Have helped a few mature male friends ..widowed or divorced .. to upgrade their style .. get nicer trendier hair cut and clothes .. and spiff up their profile ... 2 of which are now happily married and one currently enjoying a long term relationship.
I do Aquarobics twice a week with a group of ladies in their 60s and 70s who could give most men their age and younger the edge as far as looks go .. yet most men our age and older believe the cut off point for them is 6-12 yrs younger than they are. In fact .. women age far more gracefully than guys .. and tend to be fitter and outlive them!

Posted by: phoenix1947 at October 15, 2010 11:30 AM

Minimalist Machosexual!
That's what I think works!

Posted by: heatbead at August 31, 2010 2:17 PM

I like a man to be well groomed but when he thinks he is pretty than a girl, then it's just all sorts of wrong. I personally prefer men who are more masculine and rugged looking who look like men not little boys and have a personality to match!

Posted by: uglyduckling1974 at June 14, 2010 10:23 PM

Posted by: givemeheadbaby at June 10, 2009
Gulp, wank, gulp, wank, gulp, wank wank, wank gulp!

No visible profiles hey?

Posted by: barataria at December 4, 2009 11:17 PM

Orkney, I would say that makes you attractive :)

Posted by: willow29 at October 31, 2009 4:44 PM

I wonder if we are over-analysing guys by labelling them metro-sexuals, macho-sexuals, SNAG's, etc... I am who I am, but have no idea where I would fit into this. Let's see if you can decide -- I'm well groomed, a bit of a fitness freak, and my place is always clean & tidy. I can change tyres, lightbulbs, mow the lawn, kill mice / spiders / cockroaches, and otherwise get my hands dirty. BUT I'm not into beer, football, or hanging around bars & clubs. I also have no interest (or knowledge) in style, fashion, fine wines, and so on. I can hold up a good conversation (unless it's about footy), and I usually get along great with women, children, and pets... So, what does that make me? I'm confused.

Posted by: orkneymist at October 31, 2009 12:58 PM

its a tough balance between a guy who clearly takes pride in how he looks and the one who wears the pink tight shirt and waxes his legs. a good cologne gets me everytime, instant good first impression. and after ive had ex's with waxed chest and hair, not really an issue either way..nice built fit body...as with everything else, things in moderation apply to men it seems!

Posted by: funfit87 at September 29, 2009 6:31 PM

WOWWWWWWWWWWW

Posted by: givemeheadbaby at June 10, 2009 6:08 PM

who really cares who it is
when have u eva seen a sixa like that 4 real

HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT YUMMMMMMMMMM

Posted by: givemeheadbaby at June 10, 2009 6:06 PM

I must admit I do love to smell the fragrance of a nice cologne on a man but nothing too overpowering. Hair on the chest to me is definitely "manly" and natural but I do so laugh when my son gets his chest waxed lol!

Having said that about hair, whether a man has hair on his chest or not does not make him a "man" and it would make no difference to me ultimately if a "hairless" man and I "clicked". Lol

There are times when a man needs to dress up a little more and other times when it is fine to be casual. As long as the gear the man is wearing suits him and the occasion, for me a famous brand label does not have to be on the garment.

Posted by: sweetmixture at May 18, 2009 7:46 PM

Haven't really been reading this topic but thought your comments Buddy, in a post below about your wife were very poignant and tender. Made me smile :

Quote:

Albeit on saying that my wife did become extremely jealous after her first mastectomy, completely understandable of course, her confidence was shot and for a short period felt less than a woman, we quickly put an end to that syndrome and it wasn’t too long before she knew and understood she was the most beautiful and gorgeous woman on earth and her confidence returned to where it should have been. LOL a bit more confident I would say, for we removed a few other barriers which stood in her way. Inhibitions, what inhibitions, she became more beautiful and gorgeous than ever.

Posted by: sweetmixture at May 15, 2009 8:53 PM

Surely men can be both well groomed and masculine. It is very much appreciated when you meet for the first time and it is obvious that an effort has been made to impress. We girls, in most cases, make a considerable effort to ensure we look presentable if not downright gorgeous. Having said that though, I believe that it is 100% what is on the inside that is more important. The exterior is pretty insignificant if there is a wonderful person lurking in the interior. So we need to let some things go to find out the real story.

Posted by: time4latte at May 10, 2009 6:37 AM

My opinions only!
1. Either but not excessively hairy.
2. Products fine as long as you can still run your fingers through his hair.
3. No jewellery
4. As long as its clean, doesnt matter.
5. Ditto

I think "appropriate" is how a guy should look. Right for the occasion. For working, relaxation, tshirt and shorts/jeans is fine. Formal occasions = formal clothes and for bed - no socks!

Posted by: willow29 at May 3, 2009 11:28 PM

Perfect time to ask the questions most guys want to know from women, keeping in mind the age brackets. 1. Hairy or waxed chest? 2. Uses products such as skincare hair gel etc or not? 3. Jewellery such as gold watch and necklace or no jewellery? 4. Tighty whitey Tee muscle shirt or smart casual dress shirt? 5. Designer labels such as Armani or Hugo Boss or just off the rack? 6. What does a guys appearance convey to you? Discuss

Posted by: completegent1 at May 2, 2009 9:00 PM

Hi kurli,

I am sure that you would be well aware that like anything else, exercise is 100% mental. the reason why the majority will fail to gain the full benefit from an exercise routine is that they do not make it become a habit. When the mental aptitude is right the physical just falls into place behind it. That if a person only applies 10% mental aptitude to it, they will only gain 10% of the physical benefit they should have received. The same of course applies to all things in life, education, work, sport and social events even sex and relationships.

As the body needs exercise it also needs rest. The body not only accepts this change in regime it appreciates it and respects it. I won't spend that much time looking for Mrs. Right before I give it away until another day.

Posted by: buddy383 at May 2, 2009 7:10 AM

buddy@8.11pm;
I stand corrected sir! I was really wondering how your body accepts the change in regime...

Posted by: kurli at May 1, 2009 6:07 AM

LOL kurli, I personally don�t call getting what I want and need a disservice. You may see it as a disservice, but then again you are not me. I just eliminate the Shallow Hals from the equation at the beginning.

The only people I would be dishonest to would be the people I am not interested in, really none of their business anyhow. Anybody who I am attracted to, they would know the truth before anything serious happened. Firm and muscled bodies are a turn off to some ladies.

Pertaining to knowing the difference between somebody attracted to character and another to the body, my intuition is as good as anybody�s I would assume. But please don�t ask me to be able to do something which science cant even do with all the knowledge and technology available to it. There isnt a person on the planet that could pick that with a 100 percent accuracy over the number of women/men who come in and out of life.

Posted by: buddy383 at April 30, 2009 8:11 PM

Posted by: wootsquad161 at April 28, 2009 12:18 PM

You obviously feel no pressure to enhance your appearence by weight of expectation!

Posted by: asitis09 at April 30, 2009 3:51 PM

buddy383April28 10.13pm:
Surely you are doing yourself the disservice by"letting youself go" (to seed??)just for a first date.Are you unable to differentiate between women who are genuinely attracted to your character and uniqueness and those with only a hankering for your bod!
Seems to me you're being as dishonest as some of the women you are attempting to avoid.

Posted by: kurli at April 30, 2009 2:15 PM

Istj - I think we are doing men a disservice if we think they can't be good at both :)

Posted by: willow29 at April 30, 2009 11:22 AM

Or do we still want a man that takes care of his appearance but who is also a dab-hand at the DIY? ...are these mutually exclusive? I'd like both ...please...

Posted by: istj54 at April 30, 2009 9:26 AM

LOL Hi Woodnwine,

That is because I am strange, I am different and I am unique. But do you know what, through all that strangeness, I get the type of woman I want and need. A woman who is all woman, and proud to be a woman, mmmm, mmmm. And when we get behind closed doors, shes still a lady to me. A woman prepared to walk at my side and be my equal and in return I will be the best man that I can, devoting my life to her completely.

I find dating a bit like fishing, in order to get the fish you want, drop your line in the right pond and use the bait which will attract the fish you are after. Increase your chances by extending your rod into the chasm with the greater number of fish in it.

The thing about women is, they just keep getting better and better with age.

Posted by: buddy383 at April 28, 2009 10:13 PM

Hi Willow29,

I would say if they were looking at me they would see the real me, I dont change because of body shape. If a person is looking for body shape, then that is a person I wouldn’t be interested in, in fact, irrespective of how beautiful they looked, they would turn me off and I could never get excited about them at all. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, different strokes for different folks.

I cant say I have ever had anybody complain when my body firmed and my muscles expanded, in fact they quite liked it and I reaped the benefits and gave them what they deserved in return. Albeit on saying that my wife did become extremely jealous after her first mastectomy, completely understandable of course, her confidence was shot and for a short period felt less than a woman, we quickly put an end to that syndrome and it wasn’t too long before she knew and understood she was the most beautiful and gorgeous woman on earth and her confidence returned to where it should have been. LOL a bit more confident I would say, for we removed a few other barriers which stood in her way. Inhibitions, what inhibitions, she became more beautiful and gorgeous than ever.

Posted by: buddy383 at April 28, 2009 10:11 PM

Ah... where is the 'pressure' that men are supposedly under supposedly coming from? Is there any proof that this is an actual phenomenon and a shift in social attitudes?

If it is, I honestly can't see much problem in it. Centuries of delusively high expectations and pressure on women due to mens expectations is honestly not a fair playing field.

Thankfully times are a changing :)

Posted by: wootsquad161 at April 28, 2009 12:18 PM

I agree that I think buddy's approach is strange. Most people present themselves really well while initially dating THEN let themselves go.

Posted by: woodnwine at April 28, 2009 12:04 PM

I agree Glitteringblue - I know some handsome, well "maintained" (hehe love it, like an old car!) men over 40. And I also agree that a singlet on a nice looking bod can be pretty sexy.

Buddy, if you "let yourself go a bit" - is your date seeing the real you? After all, your body and its shape are reflections of you in some ways.

Posted by: willow29 at April 28, 2009 9:21 AM

Whoa ..... we have to change again. No wonder men are so bloody confused ..... aargh!

Posted by: woodnwine at April 28, 2009 9:13 AM

I can’t say that I have ever exercised or trained specifically to attract a women, training always had other reasons behind it, predominantly sport and my time in surf lifesaving. In fact due to perception I didn’t even realise my body was any different, nearly every male around me was equally, if not more so, as exercised as I was.

What I did find over the years, Shallow Hal syndrome is not just related to men and some women have more arms than an octopus, the word no didn’t appear to be in their vocabulary. Although I have been out of the dating game for a very long time, I have found old habits have come back which has been interesting to map.

On a personal level, I go the opposite way, when in the dating game I generally let myself go a bit, knowing only too well that all it will take is an hours training over a six to eight week period to get myself back in shape. I do this primarily to ensure I attract the right sort of person, somebody interested in me and not just my body.

Posted by: buddy383 at April 28, 2009 6:08 AM

humbledwarrior, I think that you've been a little harsh there.

I know quite a few 38+ year olds that are very hansom and well maintained, without being "feminised".

A singlet on a nice looking, clean man who is of a reasonable weight - can look very very sexy.

If my man had a stylist, I'd be very suss on him??

Posted by: glitteringblue at April 27, 2009 10:02 PM

I don't know what happens to the 38 plus and beyond male, but it seems that they let go a lot like us women do. No style, same old beer gut, unkept, unclean, yobbo looking frequent pub and TAB going individuals who wouldn't know what fashion is if it bit them in the bum! There are many gorgeous looking guys in other state profiles, but I'd say that Canberra sure has some of the daggiest men on RSVP. I don't know what it is, perhaps it's the public service mentality. Get dressed for work and then let it all hang out on the weekend when you decide to get your photo done for RSVP looking like a disadvantaged individual who roams the streets at night with a paper bag under his arm. Come on guys, it's important to look respectful, decent and appealing. Nobody wants to perve at your wife basher, blue BONDS tank top with a beer in your hand. Well groomed, stylish, and current haircuts are ways of showing that you're with the times and not living in the 80s. You might be a tradie, but that doesn't mean you have to dress like one 24/7. Come on now - get yourself a stylist if you really have no idea.

Posted by: humbledwarrior at April 27, 2009 8:32 PM

This man's body is seriously hot.

Except he hasn't got a hairy chest.

For me, an adult, sexy man has a hairy chest.

I don't want my man to spend more time in front of the mirror than I do, which is not much time.

Nothing as unattractive in a man than undue vanity.

Posted by: glitteringblue at April 27, 2009 7:30 PM