RSVP Blog

I really love going to the movies, For me its not a bad idea taking your first date into a movie, I know this would be very difficult to share some ideas. but this is just the first step.
Any suggestions for a good way to treat your first date?

Stanley Lee from Calculer pourcentage 

Posted by: stanleylee77 at October 5, 2011 1:06 PM

No, I don't think watching a movie on a first date would be any good- too much silence!

Maybe on a fourth or fifth date, once both people have already gotten to know each other :)

Posted by: justlookin2012 at September 16, 2011 7:54 PM

Last first movie date I had was Big Wednesday. I loved the film, she hated me. I learned then and there it was not the best way to go

Posted by: criswell at July 22, 2011 10:43 PM

Movies and dates used to be a great idea back in the days of teenagers and drive-in theatres, where you could talk and ignore the movie, but still not a first date maybe. Back in those days the movies also catered for that too ... the bad B-Grade horror movies that would give a girl an excuse to cuddle up to her date, and a story droll enough that nobody even noticed that they missed it. These modern theatres and block buster movies just don't provide the same atmosphere.

Posted by: jonha273 at June 22, 2011 6:11 PM

As a guy, I'm glad to these comments, it gives me a chance to reflect.

Usually, if I suggest a movie on the first date, its because I am comfortable with the movie and maybe NOT with the date. If we hit it off with dinner before hand, then the movie idea can always be ditched, and there's lots of time to chat before hand.

However, in review this idea/attitude stinks. If I'm so uncertain, what am I doing there on the date in the first place? First dates are about meeting and getting to know people. Movies are are for when you know people well enough that you just want to share the time and don't need to talk as much. And as missbetti says, you can both end up trapped and not wanting to be there.

Thanks for the thoughts; I'll be sitting here kicking myself for a little while before I dress up and go to the movies. :)

Posted by: jonha273 at June 22, 2011 9:30 AM

I totally agree with you :) I have had the movie as a first date/meet and omg it was a disaster! My date was so not what I was expecting and I was so bored and just wanted to get out of there but there was no way i was going to ditch someone in a cinema, thats just way too rude :( And you are so right, how do you get to know someone in a quiet cinema whilst trying to watch a film? I'm like you and I could talk the leg off a table so going to a movie when you want to talk to the person is a disaster :)

Posted by: missbetti at June 12, 2011 3:34 PM

Umm.Are we talking about a first date or first 'meeting' because I dont think that meeting someone for the first time can be classed as a date. I only want to be in a situation that I can maintain some control over as such.Meeting for a drink or coffee means that any party can wind it up or extend it to suit without making the other person feel uncomfortable.How exactly would a person remove themselves from a movie if they thought it wasnt where they wanted to be.Go for popcorn and not return? Too rude...
You cant get to know a person by sitting in silence.So outdoor theatres are a great venue but a closed in room where I have to lean in to whisper a passing comment? I dont think so..Apart from that aspect Im far too much of a talker to sit in silence and would fast become annoying..

Posted by: meetafocker at January 14, 2011 4:30 PM

It's a safe activity to do. It also gives you some common ground to talk about should you lapse into any of those dreaded "awkward silences" afterwards. I'm very pro the movie date- but it shouldn't be the only thing you try! And to people worried about getting "touched up" in the dark by your date- we're adults, not teenagers. A date should have the sense to know what is and isn't appropriate. If they don't, you've just learned they're not worth pursuing.

Posted by: idontusethespacebar at January 14, 2011 4:14 AM

The movies are a great idea - even though you can't talking is discouraged in the cinema, you'll still see enough of their personality to determine if you want a second date. Beware that the chosen movie can affect the outcome of the date - you don't want your date to be bored, terrified, or totally confused by a poor movie choice.

Posted by: baobabs at September 29, 2010 9:47 AM

I would never go to a movie on a first date for the most obvious of reasons: It's your FIRST date. You know practically nothing about them yet you're going to sit in a place where you can't talk for 2 hours, evoking the gods of temptation (with someone who is virtual stranger), the gods of wandering hands and the gods of tentative expectation, from either party, that something a little saucy traditionally happens between two romantic possibles in a cinema. Too much pressure for a first date. What if said date touches your hand and you're just not there yet? What if said date tries to kiss you, or fondle your knee and you just don't feel you know him well enough to want that sort of intimacy? A recoil from such a move could possibly spoil everything permanently.

The second date, fine. You know a little more about him, but not the first. Never the first.

Posted by: courgette at September 28, 2010 3:17 PM

Movies are an ideal first date!
Watching a movie with someone can tell you almost everything you need to know about a person and if they are compatible with you.
For example, if you're seeing a comedy, if you laugh in the same parts - it's a good indicator that you have the same sort of sense of humour. If for some reason you're watching something teary - sneaking a quick glance at your dates face will tell you if he/she is comfortable with people expressing heavy kind of emotions or not. In a horror film - if the person jumps then laughs at themselves for jumping, this usually indicates they don't take themselves too seriously. The list goes on! I'm not suggesting anyone sit there and stare at their date through the entire film - that would be weird - but movies are made to make us feel emotions and if you're date is sitting there with a zombie like expression while your cracking up laughing, you can already tell it's not going to work.

Posted by: steff88 at July 30, 2010 11:15 PM

movies for the first date yea it has been done to death but that is no reason to give up a classic. and although it is a common thought that a date to the movies takes the pressure off talking t only works til the end of the movie, when your date turns to you and asks 'what did you think of that?'. i think the movies are a great way to get some thing in common with your date and share ideas and thought on something.
t's a great building block.

Posted by: thekmess at July 5, 2010 3:12 PM

no - much rather go to the movies with an old mate, or on my own.
Early dates are a little play acting still, best behaviour, not laughing too loud, not getting sooky - you know what I mean. And checking out their responses as well, and feeling them casting sideways glances at you, checking you out.
Much rather be able to relax and laugh and get scared and jump in the seat and cry without trying to impress all at the same time!

Posted by: blueshorizon at June 23, 2010 11:04 PM

I love going to the movies, but I believe that going to see a movie on your first date is an awful idea (unless your date is someone you already know well as a friend). First of all, in the first date I want to have the chance to actually look at my dates eyes to see who he is, talk and generally communicate. In the cinema you have to keep it as quiet as possible. Secondly, if there is attraction between you it's gonna be distracting and you won't really be able to watch the movie. Also, in the cinema you have to sit and talk really close to the other person which makes it uncomfortable, given that you don't want to start physical communication on the first date (unless that's what y).

So, I would prefer to go to a good movie with someone I know well, snuggle and enjoy.

Posted by: mariapap at June 14, 2010 9:05 PM

Well, I don't know about the first date but

I'd like to see "The Ghost Writer" tomorrow
and it's sold out.
Does anybody have an extra ticket?

Please let me know. I'll pay for it and also for the cost of stamp you'll use to contact me.
I don't see it as a date so either if you're a woman or a man doesn't matter, I need a friend anyway...

Posted by: mariapap at June 13, 2010 10:46 AM

It just happened that we went to a movie for our first date.....and since we both had an interest in the subject of the movie...it was fun. Though i was somewhat distracted by his nearness and holding hands...would have concentrated more otherwise...then we had dinner and shared all the expenses. It was delightful, as it was my first outing without my ex in very many years. And we let each other know we had passed some test with each other...we can laugh together and have fun and grow a friendship.
So yes do chose the movie with discrimination.Then you will have something to draw out from the movie and discuss...even if it is difference. We had also been chatting on phone and writing for sometime and both agreed we wanted to feel safe before first date. This foundation did help hugely...me at any rate. And we have such different lives, education , culture etc...but the shared interest was a potent connection. remains to be seen how we progress.

Posted by: carmen31900 at May 2, 2010 7:17 PM

I tried Meet the Feebles on a first date once. Very dumb idea. Should have taken her to Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. It was sometime in the 90s...what I am saying is involve your date in the decision making.

Posted by: stevenrayk at May 1, 2010 11:41 PM

@steved23 - I went on a first date (a few years ago) and saw Monty Python's The Meaning of Life - he'd never heard of Monty Python and hated it. Like you,the trip home was very quiet with no second date. So even with comedy - things don't always work out.

Posted by: onyva1963 at April 30, 2010 5:22 PM

i went on a first date once to see Saving Private Ryan .. . ahha . . so full on. . neither of us said a word in the car home and we never went on a second date! . . my advice is if your going to do it.. .choose your movie wisely. .. make it a comedy

Posted by: steved23 at April 29, 2010 11:44 PM

I love movies. There is rarely a thing I cherish more than to sit in a movie theatre and immerse myself in the make-believe of the cinema. I occasionally enjoy a flick with a group, but I mostly appreciate the movie while on my own. This is usually the little time I reserve for myself.

If I choose to allow somebody to accompany me to a movie, it is with this person I have to have some prior familiarity. I like getting to know a person first before letting them into my “alone” time. I believe, being with your significant other at the theatre is one thing, taking a date out for the first time to a movie is another. To me, taking a relative stranger to the movies it is counter-productive in getting to know a person. How well can you get to know a person by ignoring them while watching a big TV for two hours in the dark?

I like to take a date to a movie where she is comfortable enough to grip my hand in fear during a horror, laugh out loud during a comedy, hug my arm during a romantic, and cry on my shoulder during a drama.

Posted by: wisdom01 at April 22, 2010 1:20 AM

Well, I think movies are a great idea for a first date but only if you are both movie buffs, watch a movie genre you both like and if you both know where each stands. Both love foreign movies and both are mature enough to understand that it's friendship first? Then there's absolutely no problem at all! It's only when feelings and thoughts haven't been communicated prior to the movie that complications and disappointment arises.

So talk to your date first via email and telephone and above all BE HONEST. Expect nothing more than friendship and a movie buddy. If a spark of chemistry happens it's a bonus!

Posted by: misscherrylips at March 18, 2010 7:58 AM

No, I wouldn't.

Posted by: outofthefryingpan at March 17, 2010 4:40 PM

Insightful comment, allclass. You are right. I do feel that few are truthful on a first, second, or even third date. It takes a long time to get to really know a person. Guess we all like to be liked, and we do not want to be alone.

Posted by: ilikechocolate500 at February 28, 2010 2:19 AM

I think his (or her) choice of movie can sometimes say more than a couple of hours of talking. Who is really themselves on a first date anyway? Most say things in order to impress and so we have to form our impressions from other cues.

Posted by: allclass65 at February 23, 2010 8:08 PM

My first date was a Star Trek movie on TV. This wonderful lady rang and invited me to a movie but I was not so keen to make any commitment. Guess I was young. It was a long time ago.

Posted by: ilikechocolate500 at February 22, 2010 11:49 PM

wow, note to self - dont post after a night drinking.

Posted by: tazzmazz at February 19, 2010 10:58 PM

Agreed with all members who have said it's not a good idea for the first date, as yes, you want to chat with and get to know this new person in your life. DVD's at home aren't a good idea either, as I prefer both myself and the lady to feel comfortable and safe in each other's company before sharing time at either's home.

Posted by: chase4fun at February 19, 2010 5:35 PM

DVD's are great when you are comfortable with whomever you watch with, falling asleep is a sign of ultimate comfort and trust.

I think all movies serve for a great date, I am one of the rare kind that prefers to watch films on their own, though. Dont think that any of this really deserves a debate of anky kind as movies and the viewing process are very personal things.

Posted by: tazzmazz at February 19, 2010 3:50 AM

Kitten, it is nice watching dvds when you're comfortable with someone. Trouble is, I get so comfortable, I fall asleep half way through and wake up for the end.

Posted by: willow29 at January 12, 2010 11:42 AM

Not the first date, but perhaps the second.

I went through a phase in my late teens where I used to have a first date over coffee, and the second date involved seeing a late night session of Clockwork Orange.
Might sound weird, but it was a good filter for me. If the date was offended by the content (one walked out, another spent the rest of the night complaining about how it was offensive to women) or didn't see some merit in the filmaking or storyline, I didn't think it would work. But even more so was how telling it was when the date couldn't express their thoughts and feelings, be it good or bad, on something as simple as a film.

Each to their own I guess. I love films, and I would like my partner to either share that love or at least understand why films are something to be appreciated.

Posted by: shar1977 at January 11, 2010 11:05 PM

Honestly, I am a huge film fanatic, and I think that once you are comfortably in a relationship there's nothing better than being tactile and just fun/silly and watching DVDs at home or going to films (at home is better I think)........BUT.......for a first date I would never ever take a girl to see a movie. You can't talk, you can't see the other person, so where's the connection? A walk in the park or a quiet drink is a much more ideal first date, I think the whole 'movie date' thing is a bit old fashioned, but whatever suits you.

Posted by: kittenkong28 at January 11, 2010 6:46 PM

I would say it can be either beneficial or detrimental. If the scenario involves a movie and then dinner, it should be fine. That way both parties can converse about the movie while dealing with any first date jitters and calming their nerves. However if the first date involves just meeting up for a movie and then parting ways, it would be a little weird. I would think the whole point of meeting for a first date would be to converse and get a general idea of the other person.

Posted by: azziearcher at January 6, 2010 5:59 AM

As some people have said I think it depends on the circumstances. I made a mistake of going on a first date to the movies with what was a essentially a 'blind' date. That was a very bad call. A couple of minutes into the date I realised she wasn't interested and felt uncomfortable but we already had tickets so we were both stuck.

On the positive I asked her how her weekend was and she recited every minute detail of every conversation, every alcohol beverage (and there were allot!) , each outfit she she wore each day and how her friends outfits were terrible. Once i realised how shallow she was i stopped caring and enjoyed the movie.

Posted by: singularity82 at December 24, 2009 6:19 AM

Let me guess, bianca321, I think that you are probably early twenties possibly even younger than that? I'm 39 and movies and dinner would be ok with me for a first date. You'd probably spend yours at a nightclub? Funny how people generalise about other age groups and what they like... BTW, where do you suggest the 30-40 people go on a first date? Check out the nearest nursing home or what's new in the wheelchair/walking frame market? Come on.... we don't have one foot in the grave just yet. :)

Posted by: tigergirl18 at November 26, 2009 9:46 PM

Very interesting comment Bianca.
Not sure I agree though as regardless of the age of the people involved they would still have the movie itself to talk about afterwards. Even if they didn't like it. That in itself would get the conversation going.

:-)

Posted by: notahothouseflower at November 21, 2009 12:54 AM

Probably not the best idea, if it was just a movie, as you woudn't get to find out much about each other. If you went for drinks or dinner afterwards or before then that would be fine.
Then again, if you were both really shy it may be a good option for you.
Everyone is different, depends what you want.

Posted by: chelsearose at November 11, 2009 1:24 PM

I think it would depend a lot on the circumstances that led you to both agreeing to a date
If this date came out of dialogue that had anything to do with your likes and dislikes in movies as part of a larger group or gathering for whatever reason I think it could be a perfect first date.

Posted by: notahothouseflower at November 7, 2009 8:38 PM

Interesting comment bianca. I cant imagine how age would affect your decision whether to go to the movies or not.

Posted by: memoryofkisses at October 21, 2009 11:26 PM

I think it depends on the age of the people on their first date. For instance a 30-40 year old couple's first date would not be expected to go well at the movies. But a younger couple might see it as a great idea. I think there is nothing wrong with going to the movies on a first date at a younger age aslong as you have things to talk about once the movie is over. :)

Posted by: bianca321 at October 19, 2009 4:35 PM

I think a movie would be alright for a first date. Especially, as Locky says, with dinner or supper as well.
If you both like movies, and both think you would like that movie, it would be a good talking point and a good way to see if you have similar taste in movies or not.

Posted by: memoryofkisses at October 7, 2009 6:45 PM

How about switching up the 'dinner and a movie' duo? I think an early movie and late dinner could be an interesting first date. If the movie is an atrocity, instant conversation! If it strums the chords of your soul... instant conversation! Either way - conversation steered away from... "so tell me about you..." is a step in the right direction for a first date. Plenty of time to get to 20 questions later.

Posted by: locky076 at October 6, 2009 11:01 PM

No! Never! You find out more about a person in 10min over a coffee then siting in a cinema pretending Inglorious Bastards has any historical ( or entertainment) merit.

Posted by: butterflymaiden1 at September 28, 2009 6:24 PM

I couldn't stand being with a person who cant laugh during Shaun of the Dead.. don't worry, it was for the best.

Posted by: dantakesarisk at August 25, 2009 9:13 PM

My first date was dinner and then a movie. We had a fascinating conversation over dinner. I think we got on all right. She still wonted to see a movie. All thoe we lined up to watch The Proposal and ended up seeing Bruno. Not my choice of movie.

Posted by: playfair67 at July 19, 2009 4:43 PM

what the ........... is Shaun of the Dead. I don't blame the bloke for ducking out, what a dopey thing to do.

Posted by: iaminperth at July 19, 2009 12:35 AM

I went to the movies on a first date once. I picked the movie - Shaun of the Dead. I realised he didn't have a sense of humour and he thought I was a freak. We learnt a lot about each other in that short period of time. It doesn't need to be said that we didn't see each other again.

Posted by: jocool40 at July 18, 2009 10:02 PM

Not for a first date! I'd rather go bowling or something light hearted so you can talk and get to know each other and laugh at each other or me (thats what would happen if we would go bowling!)!

Posted by: skeeter27 at June 30, 2009 11:53 PM

In answer to the question - Would I take a first date to a movie - well - Is this a first meeting? The first time we have ever seen each other? Answer - No.

Or do we know and like each other from other meetings and we decided on a "date" - well why not? A drink together and a subject to discuses. Sounds good.

Anyway - I have a question - There was a movie - A sort of "Men in Black" movie but it was made in Hong Kong or Korea, maybe Japan - It starts - from memory - With two detectives seeing humans turning into Aliens and a fight starts.

What was the name of the movie?

Posted by: stephen54 at June 30, 2009 9:31 PM

Definitely a no for me.... Went on a second date to a movie once and never again. Man in question had been absolutely fine at previous meeting (was a lunch) but turned into a frigging octopus shortly after the lights dimmed at the movies. Talk about Jekyl and Hyde. He wore both my cup of coke and the tub of popcorn. Won't repeat what he called me on this site either. Was a bit embarrasing leaving the movie with all eyes on me. Lucky it was dark enough to hopefully not be recognised.. The situation was more akin to a 16yo not a then 58yo.. Grrrr ... ... "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at June 27, 2009 11:48 PM

Hey simply
want to go on a date... we'll go see shawshank...!! LOL

FG

Posted by: feelgood76 at June 27, 2009 7:27 PM

Bowling ????????? yuk !

Posted by: iaminperth at June 27, 2009 7:27 PM

ideally i dont think its a great idea on a first date because u spend 2 hours of just sitting there when the first date is important in the 2 of u getting to know eachother and to make a good impression. For me id say doin somethin like going bowling or havin dinner, doing something that challenges both of u, is fun and no pressure is involved. really easy going and lets u both get an idea of what kind of person eachother is

Posted by: melbournephan at June 27, 2009 4:29 PM

Normally I would say no, as there is very little bonding that can happen whilst being in your own seat, in your own space watching the screen. However, once a movie has finished there can be a quite in depth period where you can share inner thoughts and ideas about the film whilst sipping a coffee (or hot chocky yay!) getting to know someones persona about a subject you have both experienced together. Unless you have a couple of subjects you both are passionate and knowledgeable about, I say go the movies. And if it goes crap with the date, at least you saw a good flick (hoping you got to pick it tho)

Posted by: peekabooyou at June 2, 2009 5:56 PM

If many emails have been written and long phone conversations have been made providing a great deal of information to both partners, I see no problem with a movie for a first date.

A good comedy with lots of laughter is an excellent way of breaking the ice and completely relaxing the both of you.

Following this with coffee afterwards plus a discussion on the movie (or anything else you wish to chat about) is a good way to follow up. Sitting across from one another at the table encourages one to look at the other's face and observe closely the little mannerisms, quirks etc and let's not forget the eyes (although by now I could be forgetting the conversation! lol) Eye contact is very important in my book. Besides being the "window of the soul" if someone cannot maintain a certain amount of eye contact with you whilst talking then beware, as they may not be all they seem although they could just be possibly very very shy.

Posted by: sweetmixture at May 7, 2009 6:44 AM

On my very first date with a boy EVER! - when I was such a little girl - we caught the ferry from Manly into the city on a Sat afternoon to see James Bond. I can remember exactly what I wore and even the theme music to the film - but I have absolutely no idea what it was about - I spent the entire time hoping he would kiss me (such a girl thing) - he didn't - yet we 'went steady' for almost two years after that. Its immaterial where you go on that first date - its always going to be a surprise - if you catch a movie, you can talk before or after - girls like being INVITED to see a movie - I listened to a program once that said good relationships were about building memories - I have some great memories and they are often marked by the film 'we' watched on A particular date ...

Posted by: simplysummer at May 6, 2009 10:45 PM

First Date At A Movie, Do you feel lucky, well do you???
Okay we have all convinced ourselves that the beauty with us will just love the movie we are about to see on a first date. Although how many first dates have finished with the end credits rolling up on the big screen, 75,654,432 times to be exact. Unless lightning strikes at that first meeting, yes the movies is a mere formality. Otherwise leave it to instincts and a coffee/dinner/dance then proceed to big screen entertainment.Knew a girl who loved Robert De Niro, The problem was the only movie she saw him in was a love story and nothing else that this brilliant actor appeared in. After his latest movie she couldn't watch de niro again..Tricky situations, movies, aren't they? Cheers and see you in the foyer shortly.

Posted by: agreatdate at May 5, 2009 5:00 PM

ok i have not dune it movie that is but i have dune on the river-pub-club-beach-on river boat-park-her x-her mum dad-for first date so yes y not the movie can be a good idae first conversation can be a killer but so can a movie. park was the best for me ?

Posted by: nemo1972 at April 26, 2009 10:33 PM

'Escapism on tap' - mad about the cinema - puts me in such a great mood - first date? No problem! In fact some of the best dates I have had over the past couple of years, have been at the movies. Of course, its also been quite a while since I actually experienced a real connection another. Nevertheless, I still remember that feeling - and yes - if I was lucky enough to find it again I would prefer to simply be alone, under the stars - on the beach - with a bottle of wine - talk, listen, discover ....HIM.
Fantasy Land! But the short response is I'm agreeing with you all....

Posted by: simplysummer at April 26, 2009 8:58 PM

Not my best idea for a first date. As most people have said its much better to get to know a person then spending 80% of the first date with them in silence Especially when you dont really know anything about them, how do you know if your date will even enjoy the movie and the time spent with you Even the second date would be fine but its better to build a foundation and spend time interacting with a person first then jump straight into awkward silence :-)

Posted by: andrew2322 at April 25, 2009 8:37 PM

ali1974: your post made me laugh. Sounds like a disaster date! These dates are so painful to sit through, but they definitely can make for amusing dinner party conversation!

Posted by: nikkiblueeyes at April 15, 2009 8:53 AM

Probably not the first date. I agree with most comments that the first and even second date get to know the person.

When choosing the movie, make sure it something you might both enjoy, and most importantly...make sure you switch off your mobile phone.

Recently went on a 3rd date with a guy who left mobile on and let it ring for a while when the first call came through (yes the ring tone was on loud). Then he spent rest of movie getting and responding to txt messages (thankfully he switched it to vibrate rather than ringing). The only other thing he did was complain that there wasn't enough leg room. The movie was his choice, as was the seating location. I enjoyed the movie (not the date).
In short...it ended there.

Posted by: ali1974 at April 14, 2009 9:16 PM

Some interesting points here. I have been to the movies on a couple of first dates. It was fine, but I would probably rather spend an hour or two talking and getting to know more about my date.

I think the idea that it gives you something to talk about is valid, but if the movie is all we had to talk about, it's probably not the connection I'm looking for!

Posted by: nikkiblueeyes at April 13, 2009 11:12 PM

Hi all. Haven't had time even to glance at any of the blogs for several weeks, let alone contribute. There might be a big recession mounting, but I've never been busier.

Installed my third anaesthetised horse hoist on Thursday in a Beaudesert Vet's new operating theatre, and start building one on Tuesday for the Gold Coast, Several other urgent projects also on the go, which have kept me working 14 hours a day for the first 3 days of Easter. Now my 24-hour break, starting here.

Go to a movie for a first date? I certainly agree with most of you lot. No way Jose!

I'm an intelligent, knowledgeable and articulate mature-age adult who's using RSVP to look for my next romantic partner.

And I'm looking for my match, not just someone or other to be in the same house with, rather than being on my own.

So my first dates last for at least 2 hours" solid talking, over a meal. And if she won't commit to that in advance, no date - she's not as committed as I am. I've been in that situation and didn't like it. Jail.

Actually my first dates nearly all last from 3 to 4 hours before she's ready to leave, and sometimes 5 to 6 hours or longer. And that's without the "cheat sheet" of having just both seen a movie together. I'm looking for some one who doesn't need that, to talk for hours.

I've had about 180 RSVP first dates in the 39 months I've been in RSVP, and only 3 women wanted to shoot through after 10 minutes. The rest chatted on about their lives and interests for at least 2. 1/4 hours.

I see movie dates as being for when you've run out of things to say to one another and need a supplied topic. Seeyez.

Posted by: timewarp1 at April 13, 2009 1:53 AM

Well I would definitely agree with the sentiment that movies are not a great first date. :) Meeting in a casual setting for a drink and a chat and then maybe a walk (around markets is great) sounds more appealing. It is a relaxed time spent learning more about someone new :)

Posted by: cuddlyqt77 at April 8, 2009 6:20 PM

You could take a man to a real tear jerker and watch his reactions. Might tell you a little about him. You could go out for dinner first and use that time to do all your talking. You don't want to give too much away on the first date.... keep him or her intrigued. Now, are we talking about a first meeting or a first date? If it's a first meet, I'd be doing that over coffee ... short and sweet so you can run like hell if it's not what you want.

Posted by: greeneyednikita at April 7, 2009 2:25 PM

I think it depends completely on who you're going out on a date with... Some people might feel really awkward, sitting in the cinema right next to a total stranger, not sure what expectations they might have. However if they feel comfortable about it, it's cool to go out to dinner afterward and you'd have something to talk about. Otherwise you could always talk about the weather if you run out of conversation...it seems to be a pretty popular subject nowadays :P

Posted by: tyriel at April 6, 2009 7:03 PM

That is a bad idea. There should be alot of talking in the first date, Dinner and a long walk is ideal. And if you decided to take someone on a first date to a movie, the burden of choosing the right movie to see with a stranger is tremendous. I remember in "Taxi Driver", Robert De Nero took Cybill Shepherd to a movie on their first date. His choice was less than ideal.

Posted by: stone1227 at April 5, 2009 6:13 PM

Yes I would have to go with a Lunch date first , it gives plenty of talk time, all afternoon if necessary, and doesn't put any pressure or preconcieved expectations about what happens at the end like dinner does. 2nd & 3rd date Movies can be a great ice breaker before dinner, I got a 4x4 club outing to the Drive-In in 3 weeks, I'm cutting it fine to have a passenger for the night, but then again, I'll have a great time with friends regardless, and some ladies may see the Drive-In as a bit further than just a movie despite the fact, I'll be parked in by a dozen other 4x4's full of 30-50yo friends and their kids :)

Posted by: brisnut at April 3, 2009 9:25 PM

I wouldn't go to the movies on a first date. A couple of hours spent in complete silence with a total stranger while the movie is on would just seem awkward and I wouldn't be learning much about him. I would rather spend the time asking questions and sharing thoughts.

Posted by: chemistrylesson at April 3, 2009 9:10 PM

No way. My first date is for talking. The second is for laughing and the third for listening to my thoughts about the first two dates.
I want to see your eyes, watch your laugh and enjoy your company - not stockpile guesses and hunches based upon audible clues and rummaging movements in the dark. Movies are for people who exchange rehearsed dialogue amidst carefully measured investments in relating, whilst mentally counting til the mystical third date trophy.

Posted by: jardinero2 at April 3, 2009 6:22 PM

I think movies are a great first date. you go to the movie first...then dinner after. its tried and true...to have something to talk about (start conversation) whilst things are more quiet etc.
Also if you still have no way of conversing even with the movie as a topic...at least then you know...its not going anywhere haha

Posted by: gracedarling at April 3, 2009 3:49 PM

OK here's my 5 cents worth. I'm not big on the movie date straight away. The point of a date (especially a first date) is to get to know someone assuming you don't already. I think the first date needs to be something more interactive. Movies can come later when you have gotten over inital nerves and want to spend some time together. I think you have to spend time getting to know each other for the first few and sitting in the dark watching a big tv is not going to do that!

Cheers

Dave

Posted by: daveiscurious at April 3, 2009 12:42 PM

Good thoughts Angela and Ist, I think we create our own problems and a movie first off really puts a halt to any meaningful conversation and if the movie is bad, that would be doubly awful, yikes.

Posted by: iaminperth at March 29, 2009 11:10 AM

I went on a third date with someone to a very good movie...and he talked and made comments all the way through...was the third and last:))
Also same man to me in an email that I would have to dvd eventually so why not sooner, rather than later...he then went on to deny that he meant anything more...funny:))
Just remembered a million years ago I had a first date at the movies...he grabbed my hand and getting it freee was all I saw of the movie.
In the old days of my youth, movies were a common first, or second, date...but there was also the youthful chemistry so you didn't mind being so close with a relative stranger...so it's a great date for the youngies...but now I so get what perth is saying:))

Posted by: istj54 at March 28, 2009 10:14 AM

I am not writing for RSVP, but do hope to see more bloggers posting here. Anyway, I am doing my bit. :0)

First date to watch a movie or not? Watch a movie with a stranger? :0) I dont know. Need to get out of my unrealistic world, and to think about it in a grow-up way before I will have the answer. :0) No, to be serious, I dont know the answer. I guess it depends on how well the two people get along and whether it is a spur moment of the same thoughts. I havent been to the cinema for ages. DVD is as good to me.

Posted by: ahappyending at March 27, 2009 10:18 PM

Posted by: iaminperth at March 26, 2009 6:17 PM
"spend a couple of hours sitting next to a stranger I didn't know at all"

I *do* agree with this, but judging from this and the other comments, maybe I'm coming from a different place. I haven't met in person anyone I haven't first emailed/chatted to through RSVP, outside RSVP *and* talked to on the phone (and lately, on video through Skype) ... much more than once. If I had only exchanged "kisses" and had a few words through RSVP, then I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable going to a film at the first face-to-face meeting. It would be a coffee in broad daylight. I'm fairly bold in other areas of my life, but in this arena, I'm probably more cautious than most.
:-)

Posted by: lafileuse at March 27, 2009 8:30 PM

Personnally,I wouldn't accept a movie as a first date, I would counter suggest, probably a lunch, but ...I think going to see a live performance is somehow acceptable??

Posted by: angela11 at March 27, 2009 7:48 PM

I suppose if you had talked for a long time previously and both had really stressed about seeing a particular movie you could then go and have heaps to chat about afterwards. I don't think it's a bad idea, but I would hate to spend a couple of hours sitting next to a stranger I didn't know at all.

Posted by: iaminperth at March 26, 2009 6:17 PM

I would never go to the movies on a first date - there is nothing so uncomfortable as sitting right next to a relative stranger, in the dark, without speaking, for two hours.

Dinner and a movie? Forget the movie, at least over a meal you can see and talk to each other.

Posted by: britishracinggreen at March 26, 2009 5:08 PM

Wow ... another empty room.

Assuming two people have already communicated enough to feel comfortable, and the choice of film has been discussed, I think a first date at a film could work very well. Cinemas are public places and should be safe places to meet (OK, we'll ignore *those* plotlines), there is time to talk before the film, and the date could move on to coffee and more discussion. The film should provide plenty to talk about itself and can lead to more personal topics, while always providing a neutral background to go back to if the talk becomes a bit too personal.

I think the choice of film could be important, though. I'm thinking more of subject matter, and not in the sense of revealing anything about someone's taste ... this shouldn't be a time to put pressure on ourselves or others in that way. There will always be bad films and everyone makes poor film choices ... one of the most hilarious apres film discussions I had with friends revolved around how we could have chosen such a 'stinker'. It became one of those great, "remember when ..." stories.

Posted by: lafileuse at March 26, 2009 7:43 AM

Movie Buff or not.......you would have to be a TOTAL dipstick to take someone to the movies on the first date or even second date.....what are you going to do..... stretch your arm and casually put your hand on her shoulder..... geezez....grow up !! The first couple of dates should be had at a quiet bar or restaurant ,where you can check out each other for likes & dislikes..physical & intellectual attraction...or chemistry as some call it .

Posted by: mrbike56 at March 25, 2009 11:13 PM