RSVP Blog

Posted by: horselover10 at December 30, 2008 8:04 AM - *urk*... sounds like you got frazzled - but good.

Sorry to hear that...

Posted by: heart2heart57 at December 30, 2008 7:44 PM

Hi there, a fly in fly out relationship will work only if you are prepared for it as well as understand the lack of contact and harsh conditons and long hours. I do, as at times I am away with work 3-6months with no mobile reception as well as poor internet connectivity, I am not in the mining industry but I am on 24hour call. But beware I had what I though was a relationship committed with one guy on here from a region 2 1/2 hours of ACT (if I specify the suburb region there is only one and as much as I want to name him on here I cant). After being severley heart broken by him I chatted to another guy. I now realise my relationship was a game to him, he was a player. As well as this guy I later chatted to from a different region in WA. They will say they want a long term relationship in their profile, deactive there profile for you to say they are interested. WATCH that they dont come back on from inactive without you knowing like the guy I chatted to did on numerous occasions. You can still check while your profile is inactive. They will ask for your address (like my ex did) so they can send you a gift or flowers (Gifts dont buy love the heart does). Dont give your street name. Then they will want heaps of photos of you including private parts. Dont give this. They will say everything you want to hear. These profiles are false and misleading. I went out with one and the other appeared to know things about me that I didn't mention. BEWARE. YES I AM PREPARED AND CAN COMMITT MYSELF to DISTANCE relationship. But those profiles should say casual or short term not just LONG TERM. These people are insulting and misrepresenting the good blokes out there. As well as misrepresenting their profile. AND GIVING THE INDUSTRY A BAD NAME.

Posted by: horselover10 at December 30, 2008 8:04 AM

Posted by: enchantinel at November 9, 2008 8:21 PM - Yes. And may those are left behind continue to carry the torch in their honour.

There's a lot of misnomers about the mining fraternity, but most are honest, hard working people willing to have a go. She's a pretty brutal industry. What most of us don't realise is that we owe our current 'life style' to those who toil in the extremes. Next time you turn the ingnition in you car, spare a thought that everything around you came from under the ground at one time. Same goes for you plasma, computer, fridge, and just about everthing else in your life, bar the wood...

Posted by: heart2heart57 at November 12, 2008 7:43 PM

My heart goes out to the Western Australian mining family in todays telegraph, I wanted to send a prayer for them, these are real people, who live these lives everyday dont forget humanity, when you discuss others lives. Two babies died their dad was away fly in and out of Perth, his wife not coping whilst he was away. The details are still sketchy but he was flown back to Perth from site to identify his childrens bodies. My heart goes out to the family I cried today when I read this story, and for the ripple on effect that lasts forever and a day.
This is one of the sad realities of mining life, for some, its not always about money in life
dont forget humanity
Blessings. Nel

Posted by: enchantinel at November 9, 2008 8:21 PM

lol for a single guy on the FIFO work commitment, the bonus is for you, that you can stop of in any city in australia and have a holiday.

My shutdown manager friend ( accquaintance) does that, comes down to the 'gong to visit his daughter when he feels like it or he may just find himself in darwin or melbourne or anywhere else he wants to hang his hat for a while during his break.

Posted by: sonny51 at November 9, 2008 3:26 PM

As with any blog question; it's a personal thing. For me, I've been alone for 5 years and have become quite adapted to it; probably too much though. Still working on the balance thing. For me, it could work. I like my own company and I have always believed that a relationship is about two individuals sharing a part of themselves with each other. I don't believe in two people becoming one. Having said that, I do know people who do the FIFO thing. Some are handling it and some are suffering with infidelity. I believe that if two people are wholly, genuinely committed to each other; they'll survive anything. In my view, anyone having relationship trouble as a result of FIFO employment will have relationship trouble anyway. If the FIFO scenario won't break them, something else will.

Posted by: himagain at November 8, 2008 9:26 PM

Posted by: heart2heart57 at November 8, 2008 11:35 AM I am sure that you have gained valuable lessons through it all. I know in my life I have learnt so much from the chances and risks I have taken and a lot of it I would do differently if I had my time over.

Posted by: sonny51 at November 8, 2008 7:25 PM

Posted by: sonny51 at November 7, 2008 11:44 AM - Lived in Victoria, worked in NSW (quarrying), and had a g/f in S Aust. I packed it all up and moved over to SA. It didn't work out in the end, but if I had my time over, I'd probably do it all again...

Posted by: heart2heart57 at November 8, 2008 11:35 AM

If a miner came my way and he worked out of state, I'd give it a go......it would really test both of our characters wouldn't it?

It's a hard life in anyone's language and the travel home and back does take it's toll on the man/woman who takes this type of work on.

Posted by: sonny51 at November 7, 2008 11:44 AM

Another point to keep in mind is that you can get a phone call at anytime when the guys are underground, myself had a phonecall 3 times over 10 years, the waiting game begins, is he ok, 500 metres underground no word and a rock fall, we lost a mate in the beaconsfield mine disaster in Tassi and one in Western Australia, One in Bendigo,which the danger is there, never take that for granted, it is real...Most of the community never hear about the rock falls and near misses the truck and ute accidents, these occur regularly underground people die people get hurt, we have lost good friends, it all adds up. Then the last factor is that when a man becomes consumed and mining is in his blood and his partner finally cant sustain it, (like myself after many years) he cant give the mining up, and loses his family, it can get under their skin literally, especially at management level, like mine. There is more to this industry, than meets the eye, it takes a strong man to work (strong spirit and mind)underground, his mates underground often know him better than his wife (words out of mining friends mouth), they live together they die together, as a woman with children it can be a lonely lonely world. "There are those that make it work, and they do exist many of them, but as it was said they either have separate style lives and happily so, or they do blend fully into mining culture, the girls tend to bond with each other and the boys together, one big happy family, it is a very small world in mining those you cross paths with all over the world at times.
Just my thoughts...cheers Nel

Posted by: enchantinel at November 5, 2008 7:51 PM

I think it depends on how strong the relationship is as to wether this works well. It also depends on wether the Job is long term or limited.
While that kind of absentee relationship may survive for a finite period .. no relationship could deal with it forever.. especially where kids are involved .. and they want to know when Daddy or Mummy will be home!
A little independence is fine but too much makes you grow apart to the point where you don't need one another at all!

Posted by: waternymph47 at November 5, 2008 12:21 PM

Yes blue pelican it was my life for many years also all over Australia and totally agree with your comments couldnt sustain it, eventually when we did spend all our time together we split up. Never base on distance, if you start with distance chances are you will end apart. Just my experiences but raising kids in mining towns sux also tried that, been in one been in them all. Cheers (money is not everything, mining is consuming and they play hard so usually very few meet their expectations most spend it on playing hard then walk away with no more than they started with)

Posted by: enchantinel at November 2, 2008 7:41 PM

Posted by: bluepelican at November 2, 2008 7:49 AM

a happy medium is: you have your own place, he has his own place. when you want to see each other you can both decide which house it will be at. Then when you've had enough of each other you still have your own space. No need to move in with each other is there?? lol happy medium

Posted by: sonny51 at November 2, 2008 2:35 PM

hey allsummalong - that was my life for a lot of years, with young children as well. He would complain of feeling superfluous, I would complain of being the keeping the home fires burning person. And all my independence and self reliance had to fly out the window when he came home. Single parent with money? Claytons marriage? Very very hard to sustain. Now I don't really know what it's like to have someone come home every day, and not sure if I could really do it too well. So now I reckon a traveller for a partner could be good. Better than no space at all - been there too!!!! A happy medium anywhere??

Posted by: bluepelican at November 2, 2008 7:49 AM

I had a fly in fly out relationship that lasted for a year. I would fly in from work at 7.30 am just as she was flying out for work, then the reverse would apply at about anywhere between 6 and 7pm. We did have generally two nights together , but only one day. Wasnt doomed from the start, and I miss it.

Posted by: unknownauthor at November 2, 2008 12:25 AM

Posted by: istj54 at October 29, 2008 9:52 PM

I doubt it lol, why give false impression. The term boss( in relationship terms) is a bit ancient these days don't you think?

Posted by: sonny51 at November 1, 2008 11:44 AM

Posted by: sonny51 at October 30, 2008 4:59 PM - Yeh. I got that.

Posted by: heart2heart57 at October 30, 2008 9:50 PM

Not in a relationship hence RSVP lol......I was speaking theoretically and what I would be doing lol.......I wasn't speaking from experience.

BTW if I were in a relationship I wouldn't be on here looking

Posted by: sonny51 at October 30, 2008 4:59 PM

Posted by: sonny51 at October 29, 2008 8:50 AM - So how's that working out for you?

Posted by: heart2heart57 at October 29, 2008 10:14 PM

That's a bit harsh Sonny...let him "think" he is the boss for a few days...go on...you'll be back to running the show before you know it.

Posted by: istj54 at October 29, 2008 9:52 PM

fly in fly out relationship can work only if you have set some ground rules about what happens when he returns from work and what yours and his expectations are when he comes home.

Personally, I would not allow a man to take over the reigns while he is home. If I've been capable without him, then I would be just as capable with him in the house and there should be no reason why I would allow myself to be dominated in any way shape or form.

Posted by: sonny51 at October 29, 2008 8:50 AM

I can only speak from personal experience that it can be difficult its not like your partner can come home and slot back into the normalities of life there seems to be a transition stage where they feel on the outer and you feel on egg shells making sure everythings perfect. They come from a predominantly male environment and a large percentage of that living alone in their rooms. For me I was independant and self sufficient and managed things just fine when he was away when he returned he wanted to do those things for us and I slotted into a somewhat midly submissive position with in the relationship. I think it may seem the ideal relationship for strong self sufficient independant women to have someone who works away but when you end up living together something as simple as moving a piece of furniture can bring about feelings of "What I can't move furniture with your permission to him thinking "I'm gone a few days and shes rearranging things" small and insignificant I know but they happen. After the adjustment you slot into life as normal doing the things you would normally do. Then there is this feeling of pulling away before he returns to work. So many variables are bought up with this kind of work and living situation. I ended up with a divorce but I have a girlfriend who has been with her husband for over 20 years and he as always worked away and I have never seen a couple more in love. Best Wishes xxx

Posted by: allsummalong at October 28, 2008 10:27 PM