RSVP Blog

Posted by: awaywithwords at November 1, 2008 11:18 PM - I have to agree. Some of that rubbish is not about 'equality' at all - it's about role-reversal. 'Pro-discrimination' has no place in my world. If discrimination is bad, pro-discrimination is equally as bad...

Posted by: heart2heart57 at November 2, 2008 9:46 AM

i once met a girl who tried applying the rules she read from some dating book on me. needless to say, all it did in both theory and in practice was to place her in a position of power and dominance. eventually she just changed herself into this tyrant and i couldn't get through to her that this evil little book was misleading her. i mean, i would've treated her with equality and respect without her needing some book anyways.

Posted by: awaywithwords at November 1, 2008 11:18 PM

Grego

Thanks for the kind words and wishes and likewise wish you a successful relationship.
Yes, I too have seen the comments questioning my reason for being here.
I just ignore them.
Happy blogging!

Posted by: egernia at October 23, 2008 12:40 PM

Posted by: egernia at October 23, 2008 9:12 AM

Egernia, I did not realise your profile was visible and have just had a read.

Firstly, may I wish you every happiness in your marriage next year. Your profile indicates a person who has above average self knowledge not doubt partly attributable to your early widowhood.

Your work situation is similar to mine in that I also work from home and the blogs are basically a social outlet. Unfortunately, there are some who cannot understand that simple reason for blogging.

Unlike you I have been a bit precipitous at times and waded into controversial arguments. I love a good stoush, must be the Irish blood in me, fortunately I have a very thick skin. My partner, whom I met like you on RSVP, has her profile still going and has a number of friends on RSVP. She reads the blogs but does not contribute although she is very perceptive and accurate about some of the bloggers.

I have learnt a lot from the blogs. There are some people who have been very badly treated by life and they have been an inspiration to me. There are others who have allowed themselves to become bitter and twisted and then wonder why no-one wants them. And then there are the nutters who have actually lost their marbles or who suffer serious psychosis and multiple personality disorders. This site allows them to completely live out their fantasies.

I have made many contacts and also met some lovely people whom I would not have met but for RSVP. So for me RSVP has been very good.

However, there are times when the blogs become too negative and I think can become unhealthy. I suspect they may have moved to that stage now.

But lets end on a positive note. You and your man be kind to each other, work hard at your relationship and have a long and happy life together.
rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at October 23, 2008 11:18 AM

Yes, yes and no. Fair effort, you did get two things right but my profile has always been visible with a passworded pic.
I try to refrain from posting controversial opinionated thoughts. There is already more than sufficient on the blogs. That's not to say that I haven't let the odd one slip out and on subsequent re reading I've thought GG* where did that come from? haha

*GG=Good Grief

Posted by: egernia at October 23, 2008 9:12 AM

Posted by: egernia at October 22, 2008 2:05 PM

Egernia, you have not done enough posts. The only things I recall about you is your persona name has something to do with a lizard or reptile and that you are in some long term relationship. I thought your profile was always hidden.

As the girl said to the bishop once is enough. You only have to reveal your name one time only for it to be public knowledge

Posted by: aqueousdb66 at October 22, 2008 12:30 PM

Aqueous, see my sentence above.

rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at October 22, 2008 4:43 PM

Posted by: istj54 at October 22, 2008 9:09 AM

Istj, I was not at the function to which you refer and so do not know what went on. I have been told your version and I have been told the other parties version.

People often perceive they have been slighted or excluded when in fact they have not been or there has been a misunderstanding.

For some reason only known to the creator women have more a problem with this sort of thing than men. Marcus probably knows why.

With respect to injustice, yeah once I felt all uptight about so called injustice until I was told "life is unfair and then you die" There is a lot of real injustice around like starving kids in 3rd world countries. What little injustice occurs to middle aged middle class Australian women pales to insignificance.

If at worse a group of people decided they hated your guts for who cares what reason, you wore the wrong colour sox, wrong perfume or simply cake on too much make-up. They exclude you. So what. You go do your own thing and exclude them from your little group.

But this did not in fact occur. You said you enjoyed the lunch. So I cannot understand what is the problem? But in the end it is none of my business. I was not there and am not part of any secret society.

Re my spelling you are entirely correct. I have never been able to spell and am usually too lazy to use a spell checker. Fortunately, it did not stop me topping my uni course.

I have already made comment about the perth post and btw she did use her name that is how I knew it.
rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at October 22, 2008 4:35 PM

Grego, have done requested research just this very minute, and whilst l think that Perth has given us all a large part of her goings on over in the west, (but not of late, it does appear that she has been true to her word of leaving), is not the only one to at times have a dig at others.
Gosh, l have done it myself at times, usually to dear Marcus who enjoys our sparring just as mich as l, after all we need a little mental stimulation don't we M . ??

I accept your reply as being a fair defence, and bow out of that one ...............K

Posted by: auntykaz at October 22, 2008 3:56 PM

Okies, Grego, supersleuth is onto it......thanks for the direction........off l go to read........K

Posted by: auntykaz at October 22, 2008 3:39 PM

It is always a fairly strange thought, if RSVP would ever pop into my head when I am out: “Is it real? But it is so far far away, so tiny, and so blurry…..�.

The closer I am getting home, the more it would be taking shape, a shape of a little window, compared to the world, behind that I have just closed my door.

Posted by: ahappyending at October 22, 2008 3:05 PM

Grego

You are very clever and you have me intrigued. Could you work a personality profile on me? Whilst I don't approve of you 'naming' iaminperth, I am quite happy for you to name me. You will have to search for it as I've only signed off with my real name once.
Egernia.
Ps To make it interesting I will hide my profile.

Posted by: egernia at October 22, 2008 2:05 PM

Whilst a relative newbie here, i agree Kaz, bad form on Grego's part. Never assume someone's real name should be mentioned on the blogs unless they use such continually like yourself or Marcus.

Posted by: aqueousdb66 at October 22, 2008 12:30 PM

Even your character Perth may not be a true reflection of Ruth. Indeed I hope not because whereas the excesses of Marcus are made tolerable by his undoubted knowledge and intelligence as well as clever humour, your elitism, judgmentalism and condescension have no other redeeming features.
rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at October 17, 2008 11:27 AM

Just a snippet, Kaz, but I would not like it said of me...n a ps to my last post...I did want to catch up with you again:))

Posted by: istj54 at October 22, 2008 12:07 PM

Grego, whilst l agree that Perth had indeed shared many of her daily goings on here, and she aint the lone ranger there, l too do not recall her ever signing off with her name.
Also, l seem to have missed the offending post, so do not know what was written in it at all.
I think that what you may be missing here is that is is probably bad form to mention someones real name without their knowledge/ consent......
I think that would annoy me too, not that it is identifiable as such, just that it is doing it without their approval.
Not a biggie to me, but to others it would be................K

Posted by: auntykaz at October 22, 2008 10:55 AM

Grego...once again you miss the point entirely...as a teacher, and as part of my personality...which as the great blog personality worker outerer extraordinaire you should have by now sussed...I hate to see injustice in any form and still think that FP and I were unjustly treated by a group who used to blog...most no longer do...and may I say as a final epitaph on this....whilst I thoroughly enjoyed said lunch, on the day, it would never have been my intention to go to another...once was enough for this fading old moggie...and my pics are dated...ha, ha...correctly...when, and if, I unhide I'll try to put up some more current for your closer inspection...also, as a teacher, I had noticed how poor your spelling is but as far as grammar goes you are fine:)) Oh, and thank you for the compliment and the kisses you sent.
Yoiur great talent, with judging the personality from the posts thing, seems to stand you in good stead in a discussion, as you use it as a tool to beat the person with...it's kinda nasty really. I found your post to iaminperth to be this way...and she has never signed off with her name...as far as I remember

Posted by: istj54 at October 22, 2008 9:09 AM

Posted by: istj54 at October 21, 2008 10:05

Istj, spelling is not my strong point. Jellical should have read Jellicle as in jellicle cats from Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats by T S Eliot the basis for the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical Cats.

You are most definitely a jellicle cat and that is a compliment. You ignored my last compliment to you some months ago when I posted that I had seen your profile by accident when I was researching the 30-40 year old market for a couple of the bloggers and I stated I thought you looked 35.

That is hardly being rude and condescending because as I recall your age is much more than 35.

I dont think your exclusion analogy with bullying is applicable for a public blog. You state that you never felt the need to be part of a group so how can you feel that you are excluded. You do not make sense.

My reference to the older women is factually correct. The contretemps was between women in their 50s not the younger women in their 40s. You have taken umbrage with me about older women on a number of occasions going back to when I first started blogging in May and it suggests you have a problem with your own ageing. Perhaps your photos are not that recent. Yes Istj you are a jellicle cat but maybe you are Grizabella The former Glamour Cat who has lost her sparkle and now only wants to be accepted.
rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at October 22, 2008 12:08 AM

Posted by: grego7 at October 21, 2008 4:36 PM

"whilst the bloke cats have retired to the hill with a tinnie or two to watch the action"

Grego, your spot on there.

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 21, 2008 10:18 PM

Grego...no one has their nose out of joint for not being a part of a certain group...you are missing the point entirely...as are many others. I have never felt the need to be a part of a group and am a very independent thinker...the point has always been that this particular group very quickly ostracised/sidelined us in a rather disdainful, superior manner...much like you have just done in your post...if you have done any reading at all regarding bullying you will find that not including people is a major factor...and no need to harp about kindergarten....I teach small children and am well able to correlate all of your behaviours with theirs...ps...I still find all your references to older women to be rude and condescending...older tabbies, hissy fits...and what are jellicals?

Posted by: istj54 at October 21, 2008 10:05 PM

The enthralling thing about these blogs is how they take a life of their own. Just a few days ago 2 of the respected males were locking horns which is a very rare event and a welcome change from the usual female hissy fits.

But just after a dummy spit by one of the more objectional females all hell broke loose with a major cat fight between some of the older tabbies. Luckily the younger lovelier kittens have gone into hiding whilst the bloke cats have retired to the hill with a tinnie or two to watch the action. And what exciting action it has been. But fellow jellicals let me make some comments:

Posted by: auntykaz at October 18, 2008 7:51 PM

Kaz, my post referring to Perth 17 Oct 11.27am I believe is very reasonable and very accurate. Over many months Perth has provided considerable information about herself, sufficient for me to build up what I reckon is an accurate personality and personal profile. As I may have said in the past this is a pet hoby of mine and I am very good at it. Perth"s objection appears to have been not my accuarcy in describing her character flaws but that I used a given name.

Some months ago it was common practice for bloggers to sign off their posts with their given names. Some still do eg Marcus. My view is that if one puts one"s name on the blogs it is is in the common domain. So I did not break any confidences. As per her past history Perth went off half cocked with out thinking. Her reaction however suggests that I was very close to the truth in my assessment.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at October 18, 2008 12:30 PM and 4.31 PM and 6.58 PM.

FemaleP, notice your profile is hidden! Your 3 posts are extraordinary in their outpouring of bile directed towards Waterbombe. Indeed they are at times verging on the hysterical. It appears you consider yourself scorned and "hell hath no fury..." I guess. It appears to me from your recent posts and also from a series of similar posts a few months ago on the same topic that you are unhappy because you perceive yourself as having been rejected by someone or some group. Is such rejection( if in fact it occurred) so critical to your life? I think Waterbombe's advice was sound. Please do get a life.

If you do have a problem with your perceived nemesis then you should contribute to the blogs and counter argue with logic and relevant comment. I also suggest you read my post of 11.27 am as I clearly state that one should differentiate betweeen a blogging persona and a real person.

Btw, I have never met Waterbombe. However, I consider your comments about her personal features are "beyond the pale" and reflect negatively on you rather than her.

Posted by: istj54 at October 18, 2008 7:15 PM

Istj, your profile also hidden! I have answered one of your comments above. Your second assertion that I belong to some "group" whilst sounding rather excitingly conspitatorial is not correct. You are a bit like Feamlepersuasion and may have your nose out of joint because you perceive you are not part of a so called "group" Is that critical to your well being? Perhaps you and Persuasion can form your own little group. As I recall from kindergarten days there was always a number of girls groups sniping at each other trying to impress the boys. The boycats are all up on the hill looking so how about you strut your stuff. You are a very pretty jellical after all.
rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at October 21, 2008 4:36 PM

I threw myself into the study of " I am entitled to my own opinion ", there's a lots of people keep saying this, of course everyone is entitled, These are not some kind of consulting expert or asking someone permission to post. But I find some people are dominant they way they look at others, thinking's they're higher than others, net bullying as the only strenght habits they do, affect others through habituals thoughts. They have freedom to speak as they want, But when someone gave defensive opinion, It was the case of " moderated conduct " and about to delete through requesting the blog management proving the contents was offensive. This is a classic form of measurement, giving out "awards " in thy mind for good things;.. the " best behaved dog awards ", and the " most courteous drivers award "...But in real life this unhappy people tend to have more negatives neutral pathways- their minds are literally stuck in a rut.
I know a bit harsh to say things like I said, but sometimes you need to strike a cords to pay more attention to the positive part of the truth.
Olive.

Posted by: olivewood at October 19, 2008 10:30 PM

I threw myself into the study of " I am entitled to my own opinion ", there's a lots of people keep saying this, of course everyone is entitled, These are not some kind of consulting expert or asking someone permission to post. But I find some people are dominant they way they look at others, thinking's they're higher than others, net bullying as the only strenght habits they do, affect others through habituals thoughts. They have freedom to speak as they want, But when someone gave defensive opinion, It was the case of " moderated conduct " and about to delete through requesting the blog management proving the contents was offensive. This is a classic form of measurement, giving out "awards " in thy mind for good things;.. the " best behaved dog awards ", and the " most courteous drivers award "...But in real life this unhappy people tend to have more negatives neutral pathways- their minds are literally stuck in a rut.
I know a bit harsh to say things like I said, but sometimes you need to strike a cords to pay more attention to the positive part of the truth.
Olive.

Posted by: olivewood at October 19, 2008 9:55 PM

Posted by Heart2heart57..Oct 18, at 8:50PM

I love what you have said...In a Japanese household It would be the case of " leave your shoes (and your crap) by the front door please "...

If you allowed me I would like to add some nice words of Japanese traditional customs... " bow your head in saying - Ohayo guzaimasta...as a Greetings Respect to the household.
Served with Hot Sake - "Kampay "

H2H you always makes me smile reading your post..." Kampay"...
Olive.

Posted by: olivewood at October 19, 2008 2:06 PM

istj54 at October 18, 2008 7:15 PM: My original reply to you about 'band-wagons' seems to have fallen off the corner of the round table. Maybe I saved it and then forgot to send it.

I am actually taking your mate's side, ever since I saw 2.57pm yesterday here, and similar replies in the Secrets blog. When I see hubris, I don't care who. I just look for a pin.

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 19, 2008 1:55 PM

This has been done before and it got no-one anywhere, so please......let it RIP..........K Posted by: auntykaz at October 18, 2008 5:33 PM

Oh, I agree with you, Kaz. I'm spending today with my family and friends, its a lovely day in Melbourne. Have a great Sunday, everyone.

Posted by: waterbombe at October 19, 2008 11:34 AM

Yes sorry Timewarp l know that is your definition of a doberman sister, l just added it for explaination purposes, and then realised that it was not accurate when l re read it this am. Sorry dear.

Kinda like my calling some of the guys here the rotty brothers, (though l haven't done that for a while either).

Off to brunch with some friends, l am craving a beautifully poached egg and crispy bacon, l can't poach eggs for peanuts and am looking forward to them...then it is off to work for me, an afternoon shift for a change.......bye all........K

Posted by: auntykaz at October 19, 2008 11:03 AM

Female woman: I stand by your words and support your courage.

I agree with you 110%.

They all claim to know each other so why not pick up the phone to chat rather than remind us all that they clearly are too unattractive as humans to reveal themselves to other women or men.

The long term profilers have a lot to answer for and some do like K.

Others have nothing better to do with thier time despite thier pleas and attention seeking ways.

There are more passive aggressive women than there are silly males that can't read a profile to save thier own P_ _ _S on this site.

However they claim that they have a right for which they do.

We as women have a right to blocked them out but when they post: Dear friend I did this, and this and this and please back me up as I have zero credit on this site amongst the new folk.

As I see it, they seem to be threatened by any one that may make more sense than them.

That is my view that I share with Female so bite me sugar and sour as you appear to be just as silly as they look and appear on this site.

Perhaps you are just as insecure and require more validation to a faceless world that really does not take much interest in you as a person?

No need for such an attack and you all should be ashamed as long term profilers for your consistent and very ugly behaviour.

As for the men.

I pay attention only when my attention is taken.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Thanks

Posted by: chachacha42 at October 19, 2008 8:22 AM

istj: Also see mine at 4.44pm today in the 'Secret' blog for further corroboration.

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 19, 2008 1:18 AM

Kaz at 7.51pm: "..l think Timewarp refers to the girls as the doberman sisters.."

No Kaz, not all girls. No way!

Because I believe that an admirable woman is creation's finest product yet. Worship 'em.

No, I have applied the term Doberman Sisters only to certain self-appointed tireless emasculators, who ambush passing males from behind an extreme fem/marxist version of political correctness.

Haven't noticed it here lately, because the people usually involved have been concentrating lately on denigrating a selection of other women instead.

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 19, 2008 1:11 AM

FP at 4.31pm: "get off the grapevine." I was really interested in that comment.

Reminded me that there are people who are "in the know" as my dad used to put it, and people who aren't. Usually according to their degree of social acceptability in the particular group, which is often based on whether the opinion leaders in the particular group find their presence and/or independence significantly threatening.

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 19, 2008 12:19 AM

femalepersuasion at 4:31 PM: "I don't know your situation?" Well, I did read (and remember) the thousands of angst-filled words about that single brief episode which flooded the blogs periodically for some time afterwards. Including today. So I beg to differ, ma'am.

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 18, 2008 11:58 PM

I have a good chuckle to myself when I read things like "some people spend too much time on these Blogs". Or "Get a life"

DER! Didn't you read the sign on the door? "Dating Site - WARNING - may contain nuts!" Most people on RSVP are on here in the hope that it may be an avenue to find a partner. I would strongly question to motives of those who aren't - if you're not on here with even the smallest thought of finding a partner, why are you here? To incite arguments and ruffle peoples feathers? Surely there's enough chat sites out there that will cover your every need. Oh, but not all of them are moderated, are they? Someone might just tell you what you are, warts and all. And that would hurt. Poor babies. In here, you can dig around and find people who will bite. That should put another lonely chalk-mark on your pathetic score-card. If you want to chop something down, maybe you should buy a chainsaw?

Posted by: heart2heart57 at October 18, 2008 9:12 PM

femalepersuasion @ 6:58 PM ~ you have every every every right to speak out your opinion and I am listening to you friend.

'54 @ 7:15 PM ~ hey I'm glad your back.

truantwarrior @ 3:59 PM ~ Warrioress, I agree whole-heartedly!!! It is us that more often sets the scene, the tone and the menu of a relationship and it is up to us to change that menu when it gets tired or makes us sick . . . love your profile and enjoying your posts!

: )

Posted by: glitteringblue at October 18, 2008 9:05 PM

Posted by: auntykaz at October 18, 2008 7:51 PM - Hear hear Kaz. It does get a bit much sometimes to be pigeon-holed into category, doesn't it? There's some plain mean and nasty people out there, no doubt about it - and from both sexes. But to generalise that the rest of us are in the same niche is a bit of a slap in the face. The more I read on here, the more I think "their loss". Now that may come across as an over-inflated ego, but I don't give a rats. At this age, the sceptics can head for the sceptic as far as I'm concerned - I you ain't learned by now, you never will. The genuine people out there don't need that kind of baggage. Nor do they deserve it. In a Japanese household, it would be case of "leave your shoes (and your crap) by the front door please"...

Posted by: heart2heart57 at October 18, 2008 8:50 PM

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 17, 2008 8:16 PM

That's also a fair call....

Hope your feeling in a better 'human swing' today

Teee...heeee

Said with Love

Starry

((((( **** )))))

Posted by: starryeyez at October 18, 2008 8:24 PM

Starryeyez is here, armed with a basketful of, Alfafa Sprouts, Camomile Tea, Fairy Dust, Cotton Candy and Cinnamon Buns for all those needing a little Love and Light here on the Blogs

Awwwww, please be good to each other :(

Posted by: starryeyez at October 18, 2008 8:17 PM

I didn't see the post referring to Perth, has it been removed??
I hope so if it is one that was unpleasant.

FP. l know that you and l have had our minor stoushes along the way and do find what you say generally measured and informative. A sort of mutual respect thing if you like.

What l would suggest is that maybe you and Waterbombe take this off blog so to speak, to iron out once and for all anything that needs to be......I was unaware of any ill feeling at the time of our meeting, however being such a large group it was difficult to check out what everyone was doing.

Anyway, of course you are entitled to your opinion, l just was adding my thoughts, l won't buy into any more of it, and l will bow out acknowledging your kind words.....oh except for this,.....l think Timewarp refers to the girls as the doberman sisters....And l also dislike generalisations made by some of the men here in regards to every woman. Now it won't cause my hair to go grey, but at times gives me the shits....and will say so.....disagreements are part and parcel of life, eh??

istj, babe, l think l beat you with the best player anyone would ever wish to meet.....perhaps we could compare notes..... it would make for an interesting chat l am certain.............K

Posted by: auntykaz at October 18, 2008 7:51 PM

my goodness istj54 looking who is talking- I have not blogged for months and months your dribble and acid tongue is still wagging have you and femalepersauaion had a falling not in love with each other again!!!!

Posted by: sugarandspicetoo at October 18, 2008 7:41 PM

I'm baaaaccccckkkkk...been away for two weeks and return to same old, same old...I'd like Waterbombe to answer FP's question too...and others on here ad nauseum, day after day, espousing opinions that I am sure I have heard before...why do you have to blog sooooo much? Don't the people in your lives care to hear any, or all, of your opinions? Is that why you are always here, seemingly 24/7 telling the blog reading audience?
I've asked myself why I come back to read them and occasionally post...last year it filled a great need for me after I had a relationship with the best player anyone would ever wish to meet...the blogs opened my eyes and were at first like a journal for me...I was then a bit addicted and foolishly thought that folk on here were supportive...ha, ha...so here I need to support what FP says of other long-time bloggers...I was never accepted by the blog troupe...an outsider too...a hated outsider by those in the loop...who knows why, and who cares?..not me anyways...but also answer why you feel the need to jump on everything FP says...perth, I think you were more upset because of the nasty tirade grego made in that post which I think was based on some personal knowledge...maybe, maybe not...but he is one of the "group" now...so hands off:))
Timewarp, why do you always have to jump in the bandwagon...hmmmm?

On topic...Posted by: truantwarrior at October 17, 2008 3:59 PM ...great advice about listing past lovers' bad points...a real eye opener...thanks for that excellent post.
I think we all need to ask ourselves why we behave in certain ways and look deep into the chasm of ourselves to enable growth and development.

Posted by: istj54 at October 18, 2008 7:15 PM

Kaz....I always appreciate your comments and input..I think you are are a fab person..but I do have the right to my opinion and am getting tired of always hearing the argument about letting the past rest whenever I offer my opinion, as this was not about the past at all..what Perth experienced has happened to me too...and I have a right to discuss what happened to me as It is not only relevant, but may give a different view to others reading this.

Waterbombe is another matter..I don't like her posts..I don't like the way she criticises people or their opinions and I find her posts to be quite passive aggressive in their intention. I also don't like the way she doesn't take others feelings in to consideration..and tells people they shouldn't come back to blog after saying they were leaving the blog arena. Who the hell does she think she is telling people what is acceptable or not.

I admit I didn't like the way she attacked me in the past..she tried to justify it by saying that I had tickets on myself..which in fact was an outright lie..I have never said that, but if you disagree you will be able to site the post.
But I guess the point is..even if I had come across as thinking highly of myself ( which I do by the way)....what gives her the right to denigrate another. If anyone objects to her comments..her only line of defence is to say " you should get a life" or "you take the blogs too seriously"..she cant put forward a rational argument to save herself..and the irony is that she seems to take the blogs seriously by the amount of posts she makes and the lightening speed she responds..and usually in a sarcastic manner.
When I did see her in person, the thing that struck me the most was her inability to look me in the eye or engage in any conversation.

So Kaz..when I come across people like this and I experience first hand how nasty and vindictive they can be to me..I will always speak out..and if I observe them doing it to others..I will speak out again...and again...and again..

So what are you saying Kaz..because this woman has made disparaging comments about me in the past I can no longer disagree with her? Or if I do, am I to be continually reminded that because of what was said in the past I can longer offer my opinion ???

You know what I would like Kaz..Id like to meet her face to face in person..and bring up the stuff she was so intent on criticising me for...you could come along too Kaz as the independent bystander.

She won't do it of course..because she is gutless face to face as I have already witnessed.

And as for the men Kaz, that try and hang it on us women..the timewarps in particular that refer to disagreements amongst women as "catfights" ..or whatever....My answer to that is simple.....

Do you think I am the type of woman that would give 2 hoots to a man that reveals his respect toward the female of the species by such an enlightening attitude.

I think not !

Posted by: femalepersuasion at October 18, 2008 6:58 PM

Ladies, ladies, you know this will only give the guys more ammo to hang it on women......Come on, let us all put the past way behind us where it really needs to be.
This has been done before and it got no-one anywhere, so please......let it RIP..........K

Posted by: auntykaz at October 18, 2008 5:33 PM

Perth, it may be that your name was written innocently, but l can understand your being upset about it.
I choose to use the name auntykaz and many have deduced my real name from that (not that it is difficult), but that was my choice.....
Yours was to not reveal part of your name and is your right, as it is anyones.
Try not to be too upset, it will blow over if you let it. There are far more interesting things for you to write about, and we have not had a weather update from you for a few days......how goes it??
Lovely in Melbourne today, a perfect day actually, warm, sunny with a light breeze. Been sitting outside thinking about mowing, and may just give it a whirl when the late afternoon sun settles down.........K

Posted by: auntykaz at October 18, 2008 4:57 PM

seventeenseventy at October 18, 2008 3:50 PM : Reveal your own profile before you ask that, sonny/girlie.

(M, 72, Brisvegas, currently occupied.)

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 18, 2008 4:34 PM

FP, may I just insinuate that you need to get a life, or that you take the blogs too seriously. You really really really need to let go.

Posted by: waterbombe at October 18, 2008 2:57 PM

I have a life actually.. Not that you would know of course because you don't know me and have never spken to me. You demonstrate your inability to argue a criticism by your manipulative patronising comments rather than fair discussion. It seems if I , or any one else for that matter,doesn't agree with you and posts to say so..your only comeback seems to be a lame insinuation by suggestion to get a life.

You are the one who needs to get a life....continually blogging ad nauseum and bullying people with your overrated sense of self importance..the woman with a career AND a man, who hides behind a hidden photo..Oh Please...why do you blog???

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT SIMPLE QUESTION??? I am not asking you whether it is you right to blog or not...just WHY DO YOU???

And dont tell me whether to let go something go or not..I have as much right to voice my opinion as anyone else.

Funnily enough..I keep seeing you at one of my local stores..you have no idea who I am I suspect..but I can tell who you are I never forget a face...you have a very negative energy exuding from you and a sour look on your face..I even overheard you being quite rude to a shopkeeper.

And as for you Timewarp..you are another one that doesnt know me..has never met me..and never will..so to write comments as if you know my situation is misleading.

get off the grapevine.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at October 18, 2008 4:31 PM

Hi all. Such good weather in Brisvegas today (after a mainly-grey week with showers) that I just couldn't resist visiting my Hills Hoist. Ah, domestic bliss .....

But not as blissful as 25 years ago when I had a family of 5 to launder for. Now it's just one load, not half a day's work. Bit of an anti-climax, I sometimes think.

Perthie, don't fret too much. Someone let drop your real given name, and yes, that is heavy boomba if it's an unusual name AND you're hiding from a murderous Ex.

But that doesn't sound like you, darl.

Most of us regular blog-hogs are happy for everyone to know our real first names (if they're not already visible in our callsigns.)

No, I don�t agree with repetativepersuasion. We'll be polite and forget we ever heard it, if you will. Not the end of the world, IMHO.

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 18, 2008 4:03 PM

hey Grego, how did you know perthys name was Ruth?

Posted by: seventeenseventy at October 18, 2008 3:50 PM

Thanks for your earlier comment Glitter (Posted by: sandgrain at October 16, 2008 7:11 PM). Its such great weather at the moment down here I can't stay inside..I'm back to the garden in a moment to plant some red and white petunias to go with the red poppies that have opened their faces to the sun. They are really beautiful.

Perth do just check the facts, as Esprit suggests... from what I could deduce from the blog all that was passed on was your name, which was certainly not good form, I agree. But nothing else of confidence stood out. As you know, there are quite a few people on the blogs who question your authenticity and your email friend may have just asserted that you were real, using your real name accidentally.... that could be all there is to it. I wouldn't be too harsh on him/her until you have checked it out.

FP, may I just insinuate that you need to get a life, or that you take the blogs too seriously. You really really really need to let go.

Posted by: waterbombe at October 18, 2008 2:57 PM

Perth....It is disturbing that someone would discuss what you have written privately. I can only speak about my own experience..same thing has happened to me..although in my case I wrote to someone to thank them for inviting me to an event..and as I didn't think I was able to attend due to committments that day with my children..I arranged to try and call in to at least meet them briefly and to show my gratitude I let them know that I would leave a present for them at the restaurant if I couldn't manage to do that.

This person( a woman) had taken the trouble to email me initially..and I thought this was a very generous act on her part.

How wrong I was...it wasn't until months later that another blogger told me that I was "hated" before I even planned to attend this event..he relayed to me that this person had written to everyone else saying that I may go..I may not..I may leave a present..blah, blah blah..she tried to portray me as someone who was not genuine. Why would someone do this? ..She happily took the gift with a smile on her face too....and then the personal attacks started via these blogs..

So..I say to you..there are a group of people who communicate via these blogs privately....my advice to you is to stay away from them..don't write privately to anyone unless you meet them on a regular basis and get to know and trust them in person.

The thing it has shown me is that people have their own AGENDAS..which may include detrimental behaviour and actions to undermine you, for reasons you know nothing about.

If you try and get to the bottom of it you will be met by criticism from people that don't know the full extent of your experience..as well as those that form judgements about you by what they hear on their private grapevine..with little regard to the real truth of the situation. I have not spoken to anyone in person from RSVP that has not been a positive experience..So why the angst? Who would know!

I have read things about myself on here that I know are purely malevolent mischief making.

One woman in particular is not only controlling and domineering in her posts..but is also highly manipulative in the way she blogs. She attacks peoples comments and opinions... and when they respond in a civil manner to her criticisms, she responds by insinuating they need to get a life..or that they take the blogs too seriously..whatever..you get the idea...

So..if I were you Perth..I would take this as a compliment..you are obviously a person with independent thought.

I can assure you..they won't like that.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at October 18, 2008 12:30 PM

Perth, are you sure that details of emails have been passed on? I might know the person you are referring too and I would be shocked to think s/he would do that.
Please be sure. It would be an awful betrayal.

I have email with one or two people and never disclose what one says to another. Anyone who emails with me will confirm that. I just assume people know that personal emails are very personal, whereas blogs are public and open.

Don't leave, please. There is a core of people leaving who are really part of a group. So much personality and wisdom. I would like to see some continuity on here, and not losing more of our strong and highly giving women bloggers.

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at October 17, 2008 10:31 PM

TLD at 10.40pm on 16th: You are a norty girl!

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 17, 2008 10:09 PM

Perthie, you amaze me! "In a happy relationship and sitting there nattering on a dating blog site. No, I don't think so." (Posted on 16th at 7:38 PM )

Most blokes like to natter with their mates. Maybe in a pub, before they come home to the missus. My dad got on the phone straight after dinner and the War News to 3 neighbouring farmers in turn, for half an hour each. Almost every night.

For us it's on these blogs. Simple as that, to me.

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 17, 2008 10:01 PM

Marcus at 7.05pm: ROFLMBO!

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 17, 2008 9:45 PM

spanky668 at October 16, 2008 7:58 AM : If you're that good so early in the morning ...

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 17, 2008 9:36 PM

grego7 at October 14, 2008 10:36 PM: No lunar corpuscular outpourings, mate. And he missed the first line "don't yell" and also the punchline " and they're grateful as hell."

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 17, 2008 9:22 PM

iaminperth at October 14, 2008 7:49 PM: I used to really enjoy going with my beloved to shop for new clothes for her, except that she'd sometimes try on something that I liked, just to please me, and I'd have to watch from behind a clothes rack, for modesty's sake.

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 17, 2008 9:14 PM

Perthie at October 14, 2008 7:36 PM: Good on you for protecting the poor woman from my inevitable detailed reply to Marcus's caddish interrogation! I'm real proud of you, darl!

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 17, 2008 9:04 PM

moniquen at October 14, 1:19 PM, challenging Kaz's final and most difficult Herculean Task:

In my second book of verse, HE says:

"Women go shopping for things they won't buy!
That's not a task to appeal to a guy -
Leave us outside,
where the Talent walks by ....."

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 17, 2008 8:50 PM

Marcus at 12.01pm 14th: Wouldn't you like to know, hey? I can report that this project is ongoing, but progress reports are classified.

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 17, 2008 8:42 PM

Perthie at 10.05pm 13th: "Except the main thing you are thrilled about is that she will be working for another eight years. Come on own up, you are looking for a place to live. It's pretty obvious - otherwise you will end up in an old peoples home."

She's retired, darl, with far too little space in her small townhouse for me to stay full time. And yes, everyone in my family heads for an old people's village in their mid-80s, when they've stopped working/volunteering. Who doesn't, these days?

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 17, 2008 8:27 PM

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at October 17, 2008 2:04 PM

just got in, been yabbying all afternoon & have come home with a big feed of yabbys yum :)

as for the weekend l have just got some more parts for the landrover so lm going to spend my weekend working on it

You have a great weekend :)))

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 17, 2008 8:22 PM

Posted by: auntykaz at October 17, 2008 4:38 PM - I get what you mean Kaz. I still think the 30large Kerry donated was a good thing. Sure, he blew a lot on his gambling, but it's his to do with as he pleases I guess. And, a fair percentage of whatever he lost gambling winds up in the Govt coffers anyway. Some of the rich donate a fair amount - Bill Gates donates squillions. I'm sure there's plenty of others that don't donate squat.

Posted by: heart2heart57 at October 17, 2008 8:18 PM

Posted by: starryeyez at October 17, 2008 11:50 AM

SE, thats a fair call but for calling it moods swinger thats up to you........as for me l just call it being human

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 17, 2008 8:16 PM

grego7 at October 14, 2008 10:34 AM: Thanks for your good wishes, mate.

Sorry to be so slow to reply. Been too busy working and wooing by turns to even look at the blogs for some days, let alone forget myself and write here at length what should have been headed "Dear Diary" instead of "Dear friends." Catching up a bit tonight before I disappear again.

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 17, 2008 8:15 PM

Posted by: troyohboy at October 17, 2008 9:19 AM

Troy its good to see that you had something to do today & that you did not go a day without running someone down but the way l see it if you are having a go at me your not giving someone else a hard time........so knock yourself out.

By the way you have a great weekend :)))

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 17, 2008 8:12 PM

I have always enjoyed blogging but have never decided to go offline and give my personal details of disclose anything of my personal life. I have been swapping interesting e-mails with one person on this blog, a female, who is not here at the moment. It seems that details of personal e-mails have been passed on which, to me is the ultimate breaking of trust. I have no desire whatsover to continue on this site and I am shocked at this betrayal of trust.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 17, 2008 8:05 PM

Yeah, Marcus, but Kerry Packer is not with us any more...Chris O'Brien is.
The mere fact that you have not heard of him means nothing.
His moral authority comes from his lifelong passion for practicing medicine, particularly head and neck surgery. A leader in his field both here and overseas.
A man who has the kindness, compassion and humility to want to help others. He doesn't inspire fear, but certainly great loyalty.
The work of the unsung is often overlooked by those willing to align themselves with the brash and rich.....dunno why, l know who l would rather think well of.....and it aint the likes of KP.
Quintessential alpha?? Nah, l don't think so.
A gimme gimme more money man in my thinking............K

Posted by: auntykaz at October 17, 2008 7:36 PM

Kaz, I don't know the fella you mention and from your description I cannot see where you think he gets moral authority from. Not a Mandela or Ghandi. I was talking about alpha males and one of their hallmarks is being healthier, cleaner and fitter than males around them.
Packer was a leader of men, and inspired great loyalty (and fear). He had the force of personality and the determination to make the change. Think World Series Cricket in '75. A man without self doubt.
He was a compelling presence wherever he went and one of the few people to bring places with more than their fair share of hubristic blokes to a stop- think major sports functions or even parliament, inquiries and courts.
He was also a devoted family man with a loving wife, and not incongruously various mistresses. By accounts women loved him. His succesful businesses delivered one of the best forms of social help- good jobs.
Quintessential alpha.

Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 17, 2008 6:25 PM

It's great people are chilling and getting together with friends. Now doesn't this prove that we bloggers do have real lives, without having to cast aspertions all over the place?
I am going to see the movie Burn After Reading tonight, and have a family birthday dinner on Sunday.
And we seem back on blog topic as well. Thanks truant!

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at October 17, 2008 5:13 PM

H2H, the idea behind what l was saying in regards to Kerry Packer was not to denigrate him donating the money to Prince Alfred Hospital. The idea was that with vast amounts of money at his disposal to gamble with, (and of course he isn't the lone ranger there), philanthropy would surely be a better option in a moral society.......

BTW, The Rudd Government, in effect us, has allocated $150 million for cancer research, last Friday.

Now you may say that is a waste of taxpayer funded money, but you wouldn't if it benefitted you down the track. (and l am talking generally there, not you personally)

I guess l find the idea of people being rich beyond their wildest dreams a bit obscene really.
In the USA, there are many philanthropic individuals who generously give to medical research. That is a good thing to do in my opinion......
None of my possibly cancerous cells were harmed in the writing of this post...........K

Posted by: auntykaz at October 17, 2008 4:38 PM

OK - Back on topic... sorry...

Barbara de Angelis - Are You The One For Me? is my ultimate relationship Bible. Sucks you in to believing it's all about sorting out your partner's flaws - WRONG - It's really an exercise in self analysis, including toxic relationship markers as to why love fails. Fascinating, practical, tried and true stuff - de Angelis is a Couples counsellor.

Here's an interesting exercise, looking at what you attracted in your past: Write a list of your past significant others (the partners you loved) and list all their bad points. Only their bad points - be ruthless! Circle all the common factors and write a personal ad for your past. It's a shock to end up with 'Looking for an emotionally unavailable, alcoholic, mummy's boy. The meaner you are - the more I love you!' or 'Desperately seeking a monosyllabic muscled handbag with fidelity issues to rock my world. No matter how unfaithful, I will cling to you for dear life...'

It seems negative, but it takes five minutes and really shows you the patterns you unconsciously create and attract. The disparity between what you want and what you actually get. Most people aren't this self-aware - well, I certainly wasn't! Since then my choices have improved dramatically.

Other favourites that helped my work in progress were -
The Ex-Wife Syndrome - Sandra Kahn
When Love Goes Wrong - Jones & Schechter
The Men We Never Knew - Daphne Rose Kingma

Best wishes everyone x

Posted by: truantwarrior at October 17, 2008 3:59 PM

Just out to the pub for a few drinks with friends, ELF. Not a long night, some of them have to be at work at 7am and my son has to be at cricket by 8:30 AM.
Still good to get out and chill.

Posted by: amberlight58 at October 17, 2008 2:58 PM

Sounds like really good fun glittering. Have a good time!

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at October 17, 2008 2:33 PM

ELF ~ a girlfriend and I are going to have a yummy dinner out on the town and then it's dancing! We are not out to 'catch' men, but are really looking forward to spending fun time together - can't wait!

Olive ~ I don't know quite what you are saying . . . but it doesn't feel quite appropriate for you to be discussing my weeds . . . or . . bush!! ?#?#?

Posted by: glitteringblue at October 17, 2008 2:25 PM

Hey folks, it's weekend! Any chance of lightening up the mood on here?

Anyone planning to go anywhere fabulous or do anything exciting this weekend???

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at October 17, 2008 2:04 PM

Posted by Outbackdrifter at October 16, 2008 9:16 PM and Heart2heart57 at October 16, 2008 11:23 PM - Beware - Stairway to Heaven..."all that glitters is BLUE" - she laughed at my garden Gnomies...LoL

Sooooo, How's the Glitters garden Blue look like..also, a Weedy and Bushy???..Hak Hak Hak !!!

Posted by: olivewood at October 17, 2008 1:19 PM

Not sure what is wrong with OBD?: He can be a real treat at times, makes me laugh. He can be quite informative. while other times he is negative and sullen.

Mood swings?

Posted by: starryeyez at October 17, 2008 11:50 AM

How's everything going in that fantasy world ms marionette. Still waiting to hear where you source all your wonderful statistics from. No chance? Didn't think so hahahaha.

Posted by: troyohboy at October 17, 2008 11:30 AM

Posted by: amberlight58 at October 17, 2008 10:13 AM

Amber, I don't get cranky when someone genuine says something with honesty and without an attempt to manipulate. If, as you say, I sometimes come across as a blog bully then I sincerely apologise to you and to those other genuine bloggers here.
I do get cranky when my words are deliberatley mis-construed and when people attempt to take the moral high ground when they initiate the issue. I don't sugar coat it so as to maintain an image.
Yes, when I think about it I can see what you mean. Thanks for pulling me up.

Troy

Posted by: troyohboy at October 17, 2008 11:24 AM

Troy,
You'll probably get angry at me for saying this and indeed you may not mean it to read as it does; but sometimes you come across as a blog "bully"

Posted by: amberlight58 at October 17, 2008 10:13 AM

It's so sad when some people try to put someone else down to make themselves look and feel better. Shame they have nothing better to do in their lives. Have a good day Drifter, there are a lot of us who enjoy your posts and your generosity of spirit.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 17, 2008 9:45 AM

Drifter, reading your last to posts to me I now understand what your issue is. Much like perth you read what I write and there is a comprehension issue. Compounding this is your desperate desire to appear the hero.
I have not savaged anyone. I have had a chop back at those who chose to stick in their two bobs worth at me and that is fair enough. Your allies, like yourself either go off in a huff, come back with more unrelated drivel or do not have the horsepower to comprehend. That's ok.
With regard to me saying you are not the identity you say you are and that I can look it up well der, I can't write slowly so will only repeat that I said. You are attempting to project a personna, not that you were not who you say you are. I made especially sure to state that I was not implying you are a puppet. Again you get it wrong attempting to appear the gentle victim, wronged. Yeah right.
With regard to alpha males you go on about how alphas are who they are and everyone knows it without them saying. You really need to drink less and enhance those concentration skills fella. You just repeated what I have written in several posts
Me thinking I'm an alpha? haha. You're the only one who keeps that tired bit of crap going mate. You are the only one who keeps dragging it up and throwing it at me and one or two others in little throw aways when the balance of a post is beyond your understanding. I have not only declared I'm not alpha, I have stated I'm far from it, that no one on here is and that, having known alphas I have confirmation I am not one. Marcus jokingly called me a blog alpha to which I responded that he cracked me up as that is very amusing. You see, I don't take myself as seriously as you do so I can laugh at myself.
I really doubt that any of the above will be within the scope of your comprehension or, more likely, the facts will cloud the position you wish to take. Whatever......have a great day in the garden, the sandpit or wherever.

Posted by: troyohboy at October 17, 2008 9:19 AM

What do you guys think about Bill Gates as a Alpha Male.

Posted by: fifilafume at October 17, 2008 12:02 AM

.....or there are scratches or unusual markings or important pieces not functioning....

Posted by: amberlight58 at October 16, 2008 11:56 PM

Kaz.. at least that's 30m the hospitals got. And from Kerry's wallet. That's 30m that our Government didn't cough up (of our own money). And there's lots of others out there who could 'tip in', but they don't. Sometimes, we have to be appreciative of 'small mercies', yah?

Posted by: heart2heart57 at October 16, 2008 11:23 PM

and the good thing is that you can always be returned if there are not enough screws or they are bent a bit rusty or don't fit the hole.......

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 16, 2008 10:40 PM

Marcus, l will clarify.......
Moral authority, the courage of conviction, not the greed is good claptrap espoused by the likes of Packer, Stokes, Lowy, Smorgon etc etc.

Tell you a little story.....I went to a book launch on Tuesday night.You all may remember Professor Chris O'Brien from the docu/ drama RPA.....Chris was diagnosed nearly 2 years ago with the very same form of brain tumour he used to treat.

He has undergone 4 surgeries to remove the tumour and it's resultant regrowths, the latest being 4 months ago.
Now, he knows intimately his diagnosis, treatment and prognosis as he has been the giver of these to many people over his time at the hospital.
His humility in the face of a usually lethal illness, his compassion and kindness are my idea of moral authority.The innate feeling of wanting to do good unto others.

Research into cancer is appallingly funded in this country, particularly those that are not "noteworthy" such as breast cancer or prostate cancer (not to denigrate them at all, merely using them as an example.

The likes of Packer etc etc, while they throw the odd million at hospitals really should be more benefactory in their actions.

Kerry Packer donated 30 million dollars to Prince Alfred Hospital. He has also lost far more on the gambling tables at casino's around the world as well as racetracks.
Now you may say that he has the right to spend his money how he likes, but surely the idea of doing good for your fellow man would far outweigh any high you would get from gambling.

As for nominating someone with alpha attributes, Marcus thats a load of crap. You are either a strong person, capable of leading, or you are a follower...simple.
People buy into these buzzwords with relish don't they???..........................K

Posted by: auntykaz at October 16, 2008 10:23 PM

Posted by: glitteringblue at October 16, 2008 10:04 PM GB, was a happy vs cranky reference..... oblique granted... Ohhh I've always wanted to have a little Cl-arse........ mines looks big in jeans....lol..... good to have you back......

Posted by: spanky668 at October 16, 2008 10:22 PM

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 16, 2008 9:16 PM - Beware - Stairway To Heaven..."all that glitters is BLUE" - she laughed at my garden Gnomies... LoL

Posted by: heart2heart57 at October 16, 2008 10:13 PM

eeww no slappy sounds so umm nAAsty, spanky at least has a little cl-arse. haha

oh and AMBER you little devil - who would have known? would you put it in his bellybutton . . . ooorrr . . .hahahahahha

Posted by: glitteringblue at October 16, 2008 10:04 PM

Good one, Marcus. The mind boggles!
No need for an allen key, then?

Posted by: amberlight58 at October 16, 2008 9:38 PM

Posted by: glitteringblue at October 16, 2008 8:55 PM

I am only cranky on typo days..... should have called myself slappy.....

Posted by: spanky668 at October 16, 2008 9:25 PM

Posted by: glitteringblue at October 16, 2008 8:55 PM

GB, l told you not tell anyone l own garden gnomes, well at least you didn't mention the concrete flamingos and cement aboriginals standing on one leg with a spear LOL :)))

it is good to have you back in the sandpit, you have really made my day :))))

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 16, 2008 9:16 PM

Cranky Spunky Spanky : )

Posted by: glitteringblue at October 16, 2008 9:06 PM

Hi gorgeous ~ Drifter, what's happening my Moonlight Mate? I'm afraid I've steered clear of the old gardening blogs - I simply am just not stable enough, or have concentration span enough, to follow all you garden gnomes.

So glad to be back amongst it.

Ta Spanky - it's okay, I am not above being addled, it's quite endearing really . . . and my little friend, I do see the good in you! But do so love it when you get cranky (hehe).

Posted by: glitteringblue at October 16, 2008 8:55 PM

Posted by: blueyedblond at October 16, 2008 10:34 AM - Now THAT was a good post :)

Posted by: heart2heart57 at October 16, 2008 8:38 PM

auntykaz October 16, 2008 5:50 PM

Kaz, you are at it again.
So you don't like Packer? I think he does fulfil the criteria though.
No good knocking knocking him down.
You will properly make your point if you suggest a candidate with moral authority and alpha attributes.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 16, 2008 8:20 PM

Posted by: sandgrain at October 16, 2008 7:05 PM

Breath of fresh air, and very kind. Ditto on the eloquenece, and glad you get my somewhat addled humour (that's no reflection on you though, ... and now I'm banned from Sweden...no meatballs, damn)... great to see good can still be seen in all..... if we look hard enough, and with open eyes...........

Posted by: spanky668 at October 16, 2008 8:08 PM

GB, great to see you back :)))

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 16, 2008 8:03 PM

What a refreshing change to have a male post a blog instead of a catty wannabee. Good on you Outback, keep blogging and giving us all the benefit of your experience in the Outback and your wonderful recipes. You are a breath of fresh air.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 16, 2008 8:03 PM

laughsandtalks @ 7:05 PM

Hey M.O.E. that was actually funny!!

Posted by: glitteringblue at October 16, 2008 7:47 PM

Ok, morphed back into Glitteringblue, Sandgrain just didn't feel right!

p.s. think I'm making up for lost blog time, don't seem to be able to stop, on a role, hahaha . . . who cares, right?

Posted by: glitteringblue at October 16, 2008 7:43 PM

As for being tortured or intimidated by alpha males, Ive seen blokes like that come & go out here for years,the country or the people sort them out real quick & they are gone in a few months with there tail between there legs when they realise they are not as tough as they think they are.

Troy l work & live with real men every day,blokes who are born and raised out or live here by choice,these blokes would chew you up and spit you out and not even give you a second thought, who would work beside you and would worked you into the ground without breaking a sweat, they work till the jobs done not to knockoff time

And theses are the same blokes you will sit and have a beer after work , when you ask them who is there real best mate or the person they relie on more then anything & they will tell every time its there wifes or girlfriends.
they will be there when you need a hand or your going through a tough patch no matter what time of day its but if you step out of line they will put you in your place real quick and hard if its needed.

Real men treat women with respect not as a trophy or something they own, real men out here knows relationship is an equal partnership not a game of domination, whose Alpha who not and that the difference between real men and wannabes.

I've met Alpha males and the real funny thing about it all, they don't walk around telling you how good they are................. you just know it

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 16, 2008 7:42 PM

Surely no man sitting there on a dating blog site can't think of themselves as an Alpha male, or whatever that is. The couple of blokes I have shown some of these blogs to just think it's a big joke and as one of them said 'girly' I think. The ones who also espouse they have partners and are in happy relationships, what. In a happy relationship and sitting there nattering on a dating blog site. No, I don't think so.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 16, 2008 7:38 PM

Man! I am just re-reading this stuff and it's histerical - hahahah - god bless your cotton socks - hahahah - v v v entertaining boys and girls of The Pit!!!

Must say that some of you blokes do behave very much like women, but I am enjoying you. . .Ta Muchly.

Posted by: sandgrain at October 16, 2008 7:31 PM

Oh Spanky, you do make me laugh out loud!! - Ignor Anus - pull finger . . . priceless.

Posted by: sandgrain at October 16, 2008 7:16 PM

Lynath ~ I've got one word to say to you . . .

Aaarrooooowww

Posted by: sandgrain at October 16, 2008 7:13 PM

Wbomb ~ I love it when you talk about having fun - somehow I get the feeling you are not all Iron Maiden and you would be lots of fun! . . . ummm . . . can I come too?? (now you know I'm stricktly hetro - we have discussed this!).

Posted by: sandgrain at October 16, 2008 7:11 PM

Hey Outback, don't worry about it, he's just jealous. Maybe send him over a few bikkies in a bowl and a saucer of milk, that should calm him down for a while.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 16, 2008 7:07 PM

Troy-O-Boy, I love how passionate and fired up you get. And enjoy the slight friction that bristles up from time to time . . .

I enjoy when Bluey cuts it all back and makes it real, love the laughs Lynath brings in, the humanity ELF injects, the kindness and wisdom of Sista Willow, Grego's gentlemanly qualities, Marcus' pain-in-the arse-ness-yet-consistance, Spunky-Spanky's eloquence and wit, H2H's tenderness, Wbomb's iron maiden with justice scales-ness, Drifter's charm, honour and yet drop-dead romantic-ness, Warped's cheeky-can't-be-tamed-ness . . .

Oh I do SO enjoy you mob. There are a few who bore the Sh#t out of me tho (as per willow's "incompatible personalities theory") - as I must do others and no doubt often fail to contribute in any meaningful way (care factor quite low here).

. . . but it's just like being part of a normally disfunctional cyber family. I like the feeling (even if it's imaginary), of being a very small part of this phenomenon, that has, and continues to, touch my life and ripple through my experience.

You each would know how some small word or blog can affect you for days and stimulate thoughts that you otherwise wouldn't have had - isn't that what real-time friends do anyway?

Then again, maybe it is just a place to dump the frustrations of daily life, with little risk of retribution??

Ok you lot . . . keep up the verbal sparing - I'm offloading a heap of frustration today ; )

Evening All,
Glitter xo

p.s. who the hell knows where this blog came from, just bubbled up from the primordial mush that is my "Thursday Brain" . . . (trying not to take life, or self, so seriously).

Posted by: sandgrain at October 16, 2008 7:05 PM

thelynathderriere October 16, 2008 1:16 PM

My middle name Ikea, dear?

Unlike Ikea if you do get me home and unpack me you find I'm conveniently self erecting..

Cheers Marquis

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 16, 2008 7:05 PM

Posted by: waterbombe at October 14, 2008 6:14 PM - So, what you�re saying is that a person who is a liar, deceitful, fakes confidence, is transparent and a bore, who shoots himself in the foot, is dead in the water, and is a "w**nker" (as you so eloquently put it) isn�t a �flunko�?

Posted by: heart2heart57 at October 16, 2008 7:03 PM

Boys, boys boys, hang on and l will get you a saucer of milk.....lap it up now, like good kittys.......

Kerry Packer, the ultimate alpha male??
Marcus you have got to be jagging surely??
Because he was the richest man in the country, is that why you say that??
I would say the greediest man actually.

How much damn money do these people want??
They can't spend it all in 10 lifetimes, let alone their own.

Moneyed Australia is so pathetic in philanthropy it is obscene.

Kerry Packer as the ultimate alpha?? give me a man with moral authority any day. .......................K

Posted by: auntykaz at October 16, 2008 5:50 PM

Hmmmmmm I have only one thing to say

Full moon

okay that is two

I rest my case.......

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 16, 2008 5:49 PM

I have only 1 more thing to say about this alpha nonsense: I shall try and discribe how I see it, ok....Not one of you is alpha anything on this blog site, why?? Because you don't own it...simple RSVP is the alpha being, they have the authority by way of the ts&cs you all agreed on when coming on here. An alpha ANYTHING is top dog in his/her OWN environment, not somone else's. eg:

I had a a kelpie, to him I was the Alpha being in the household, why?? cause I called the shots, I fed him, I trained him and he saw me as boss, he did as he was told by ME not the other way around. He moved to my daughter's house where my daughter became the Alpha being and was under HER authority. Get it???

RSVP is Alpha cause they call the shots, they have fed you a topic ( sorry moderator, don't have a different analogy) and now you are all trying to outdo each other on who is getting the bigger scrap and has the greater right to bark and snap.

So, until there is a new topic, I will try ever so hard to keep my comments to myself and just have a giggle at the playground antics that are happening here. Forgive me though if I put fingers to keyboard when it becomes to irrestiable. :)

Posted by: sonny51 at October 16, 2008 5:34 PM

Troy, your beefs with me so stop savaging everyone else, as far as I can see that's a fairly low act.

Now I gather you seem to think that I'm not who I say l am a, well I have a very simple solution to your problem about me.

Go to my profile and you will see where I live, now go do a search on where I live and you will find its tiny place there is only about 80 people here and we all know each other, you will also see where I work.

What you just make a few phone calls and find out if I am who I say I am, you can ring to pubs they know me, or the two shops they know me too, also you can ring my work is only one office here and you can ask them they know who I am.

But if that still doesn't set satisfy you, won't you give yourself a holiday come up here, I have a spare room and you are welcome to it,
I will feed you and you can see if I can cook or not, you can see my garden and the pot plants all over the house and see if I actually know what I'm talking about or do I just Google it, if you give me a bit of warning, we can go bush for a week and then you can see if I know what I'm talking about or not.

It's really up to you, I have nothing to hide.

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 16, 2008 3:56 PM

Posted by: willow29 at October 15, 2008 10:59 AM

Willow, well said. I dont know whether being or attempting to be a so called alpha male in virtual reality such as this blog site is much of a position to which to aspire.
rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at October 16, 2008 3:51 PM

Gosh the temperature in here has cooled down a bit. Haven't got time to argue with you, Marcus and H2H, it's the same old same old anyway, and I've had a full day at work and now I'm off to have some fun...Have a great weekend everyone!

Posted by: waterbombe at October 16, 2008 3:09 PM

In line with the blog title - research a relationship - which so many bloggers have forgotten about (and not only on this topic but all others that I have read). A couple good books to start with, which get "yourself" in order ( very important before you try and clean someone else's backyard) would be "Pulling your own strings" and also "Your Erroneous Zone" (noooooo not Erogenous, which is something quite different) both book are by Wayne Dwyer. Once you are right then you can go into a relationship with much less emotional baggage as all the stuff that would ruin things for you will have been dealt with.

Hope this will get everyone back on track.

Lets remember we are all made from the same stuff, just in different packages...not one person is better than the other.

Posted by: sonny51 at October 16, 2008 2:26 PM

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at October 16, 2008 1:02 PM

troy, you and drifter are chalk and cheese, mate. You don't speak for all men when you say drifter's way of communicating is disdainful. I am sure that greg, woody and TW would differ from you on this. Vive la difference!!

Posted by: willow29 at October 16, 2008 10:20 AM

My last word, to which all will breath a sigh of relief willow, have a nice trip.

Troy

Posted by: troyohboy at October 16, 2008 2:08 PM

Enjoy the mud raking kids.

Posted by: blueyedblond at October 16, 2008 1:46 PM

Oh Esprit - once again you put what I wanted to say (and said) so much better! Congratulations on graduation. Our "children" make us so proud sometimes, *grin*.

Posted by: willow29 at October 16, 2008 1:18 PM

Marcus Ikea is your middle name?

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 16, 2008 1:16 PM

I agree Troy that you two obviously rub each other the wrong way. I think on the whole both of you are valuable contributors to the discussions. We just have to accept that sometimes people just dont have compatible personalities - on blogs or in real life. Either way, it doesnt preclude any of us from participating - to the greater benefit (or even entertainment) of all of us.

Posted by: willow29 at October 16, 2008 1:13 PM

BEB, are you drifters mum?

Posted by: troyohboy at October 16, 2008 1:04 PM

sonny, you are very impressive.Great to have you blogging on here.

Blueyed...you always have been a great contributor.

Between you, you two ladies are really stashing up the means to sort out the narrow-minded theoreticals regarding mating that have been so dominant on these blogs for so long...and are so boring!!!....yawn....

troy, you and drifter are chalk and cheese, mate. You don't speak for all men when you say drifter's way of communicating is disdainful. I am sure that greg, woody and TW would differ from you on this. Vive la difference!!

drifter is a genuine nice bloke. That may not make it so that he falls into any simple coding classification A,B....Z, etc, but humans who are willing to be open and genuine wouldn't would they?

Personally, I really like you both, troy and drifter, and think you both contribute really honest and worthy thoughts to these blogs. Looking forward to reading more of them....

Oh and just as an aside, my puppy graduated from her puppy pre-school last night with glowing colours - after being a total reprobate each week, last night she did everything completed as asked! So proud of the little tyke....

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at October 16, 2008 1:02 PM

Posted by: willow29 at October 16, 2008 10:20 AM

Each to our own willow. If you find him personable that's great. I have found however that, since he first came on the blogs he has niggled at me and is obviously tortured by the alpha stuff which is obviously a result of small mans syndrome. He insists on naming me over and over as a try hard would be alpha and marcus's yes boy notwithstanding the facts. It is obvious he is very intimidated by men who honestly state their opinion without fear or favour. He appears much more comfortable currying recognition through his ability to google planting tips. Not to worry willow, it's the game he plays that men find disdainful.

Posted by: troyohboy at October 16, 2008 12:26 PM

Posted by: blueyedblond at October 16, 2008 10:47 AM

I agree and note your comment to me on the other blog. What is it with people like you. You throw in the smartarse comment and get all holier than thou when something is thrown back. Go and annoy somebody else will you.

Posted by: troyohboy at October 16, 2008 12:14 PM

troyohboy at October 15, 2008 12:59 PM . Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

Posted by: blueyedblond at October 16, 2008 10:47 AM

all I can say is "bring out the claws"

Who really gives a toss about who is Alpha, beta or even zeta? Everyone has a right to their own opinions, because of different opions does that give anyone the right to start being vitriolic and almost defamatory?

Ladies and gents, this is the internet, you can't really assume anyone is/behaves a particular way. Meet them get to know them personally and then form a personal opinion and keep that to yourself.

My thoughts only.

Posted by: sonny51 at October 16, 2008 10:36 AM

This blog has turned into the biggest load of dribble I have ever read. All this Alpha/Beta/Charlie crap is giving me the shits. RSVP is the only winner here. It exists because of the inability of men and women to accept one another as equal partners in relationships. Some women are no different to some men in as much as they assume a position of power and abuse it. Until we accept responsibility for ourselves and learn to respect a partner, relationships will continue to disintigrate. Men do not occupy a higher position in life than women and vice versa, only a different one. I may not be as eloquent as some of you think you are but the bottom line is we are all here for the same reason. Some have been cheated on, deceived or abused, some have done the cheating. deceiving or abusing, some of us simply grew apart. Keep up the bitching you obviously get a kick out of taking a self righteous stance.

Posted by: blueyedblond at October 16, 2008 10:34 AM

Troy, I have had a few conversations with him and believe him to be a decent chap.

Posted by: willow29 at October 16, 2008 10:20 AM

Posted by: waterbombe at October 15, 2008 4:57 PM

You don't know who he is WB. All you know is the way he chooses to project himself through an rsvp profile. Come in spinner, he'd be lapping it up. Last I'll say as I don't have ongoings with projections, (no I'm not suggesting he's a puppet), he's just looking to be popular.

Posted by: troyohboy at October 16, 2008 9:46 AM

Posted by: fifilafume at October 15, 2008 3:25 PM

Very insightful, quality comment. anything else equally devoid of thought to offer?

Posted by: troyohboy at October 16, 2008 9:32 AM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 16, 2008 1:06 AM

Which one Marcus..... is it your Viking persona... Ignor Anus, the marauding Viking Ruler (Very Alpha), with the mystical ability to make thunder when you pull his finger????......

Posted by: spanky668 at October 16, 2008 7:58 AM

Posted by: waterbombe at October 14, 2008 6:14 PM & Posted by: waterbombe at October 15, 2008 7:04 AM - Still laughing here.

Posted by: heart2heart57 at October 16, 2008 7:38 AM

waterflambe October 15, 2008 4:57 PM

I'll have to take take your anger and aggression as me having the upper hand.

Seriously, I'm suprised that you of all people here would be so negative about men improving their social skills with women. These abilities are not all innate. Surely improved communication and understanding benefits all? Men want to partner and marry well too, and have the most attractive sex options so learning social dynamics in the way girls are taught by their mothers seems something you should be wholeheartedly encouraging.
Not sure that I remember claiming the theory of evolution and natural selection as my own. I'm happy to say, and do so, that I lift and shift other peoples thoughts; sometimes without attribution. So what?
This is a lightweight blog not a journal.

I see in your posts reaction and feminoid-dogma rehashes of ideology from 30 or 40 years ago that have never really been thought through, let alone exposed to test by scientific method. You are not initiating or proposing topic.
Evolutionary psychology and the vast increase in understanding of the physiological, biological and psychological differentiation between men and women is starting to bust the lies and mythology that women have a vested interest in. It doesn't suprise me this is hard for you to accept and you would want to try to discredit my minor expositions on this.

Do I need to worry? Your mention of the Swedes and I assume you were banging one, has me thinking about my own Viking invader middle name.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 16, 2008 1:06 AM

About the outback, it must be very peaceful, very quiet, no any arguments. That must be the sanctuary that I have been longing for. When the Sun sets, there is only the talking of the wind. When the Sun rises, the jumping sunbeams, coming through the trees, will only bring us hope but not despair sometimes we could feel in the real world. OBD, I envy you!

This blogging has been really a struggle for me (trying, in each turn, to avoid any arguments). So, see you all, guys. Thank you very much for the laughter and helpful advice. Hopefully, my postings have also made a little bit sense to you all, as well. Have fun and good luck, everyone!

Posted by: ahappyending at October 15, 2008 11:34 PM

"If you are going to talk about truth in advertising I think it would be fair to first examine how females approach it." Nah, Marcus, it would be fair to first look at how YOU approach it....how much of your stuff has been lifted, unacknowledged, from websites written by other people but presented to us as your own ideas? I'm not surprised, though, this fits with your attuitude that it's quite ok for a guy to fake qualities that will 'fetch' him a woman. Faking it till you make it is the hall mark of someone who hasn't got what it takes....if they have what it takes, they don't have to go to the time and effort involved in faking it.

Your constant argument about how men need to fake it to get women, and your attitude that there is a "war" in which each side needs an "arsenal" gets a bit tedious....*yawn*...Moreover, if you'd been out of Melbourne you might have realised that men and women in the bigger American and European cities don't crap on like you do about how important a woman's appearance is. They accept women primarily for who they are not what they look like. It is evolutionary in a way....you could say their brains have evolved...but I think it's called maturity, actually. I recently worked with a group of professional people from Sweden, about 8 of them, and one of the Aussies was carrying on much like you, talking about males and females as if they were completely different species, and the Swedes (and they were all men) laughed at him...they were clearly derisive. They looked at me in disbelief and I had to explain that there are still people in Australia, men and women, with these antiquated views. Those ideas and attitudes were current a generation or two ago in their society. So you can see that for them, Marcus, you would be a fossil...that would probably suit you, given your interest in science. A social fossil....there you go, you have your calling now. Marcus the Social Fossil.

BTW those Swedes would be what you call "alphas" ...they were between 6'2" and 6'8" tall, fit and attractive men, and high achievers. And not a sexist thought amongst them. They were interested in women as people, not as collections of body parts. Hard for you to explain, given your theory. (Actually, thinking of you as a collector of body parts makes you a bit of a grave-robber...or an Undertaker, doesn't it.....hang on, what about a change of name... Marcus the Undertaker Fossil has a bit of a ring to it....it certainly indicates your interests...you could put it on the business cards you hand out to women in the pub).

Troy, have you taken your pills today? OBD is a laidback happy guy who gets along with everyone. I've never seen him kissing butt. He is really effective on the blogs in restoring some fun to the place when some of us have gone too far. I don't know why you're so critical...think it must be a glass-half-empty day for you today.

Posted by: waterbombe at October 15, 2008 4:57 PM

toyboy ...oops .....sorry troy ....you are sounding so like Marcus's second in command.....you should watch that....

Posted by: fifilafume at October 15, 2008 3:25 PM

Posted by: troyohboy at October 15, 2008 12:59 PM
Posted by: troyohboy at October 15, 2008 1:14 PM

If you say so mate............if you say so .

You have a great day :)))))

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 15, 2008 3:10 PM

By the way drifter, I'm surprised you didn't choke when writing about being true to yourself. At least I'm honest in my opinion and don't spend my time being mr look at me in the sandpit, oh lets have a bbq, can I kiss that alpha female butt for your just need to be recognised and popular....on a blog for crying out loud.
No misunderstandings this time fella......change that grip :))))))))))))))))))))))))

Posted by: troyohboy at October 15, 2008 1:14 PM

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 15, 2008 12:08 PM

What's up drifter, no one in your garden blog listening to your earthy pearls of wisdom? Feeling a little left out pet?
As for you, you are going through life not worrying how you project yourself....yeh right. You ooze self rightchesness and judgement so at least be honestly true to yourself.
Get over yourself pal.......

Posted by: troyohboy at October 15, 2008 12:59 PM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 15, 2008 11:22 AM

Marcus, You & troy keep beating your chests & struting around the blog, As the alpha males you think you are...............As for me lm going on with life, live to the full & not worry about how l project myself to the world, as long as lm true to myself thats all thats matter...... to me

Good luck with the Comedy act.....you both my break into the big time one day :))))

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 15, 2008 12:08 PM

Marcus, you crack me up. Shame you don't drink as next time I'm in Melbourne we could have gotten half smashed together. I'd be very keen to visit some of your haunts as they seem a hot bed of evolutionary sexual tension.....great stuff!

Troy

Posted by: troyohboy at October 15, 2008 12:05 PM

waterflambe October 14, 2008 6:14 PM
If you are going to talk about truth in advertising I think it would be fair to first examine how females approach it.
Most of a women's value in the sexual partner market comes from her physical attractiveness. This is well understood and traded on by women but rarely articulated. On a practical level individual women go to great lengths to enhance, preserve and restore their key attractiveness indicators. Figure, skin, facial symmetry, eyes, hair, mouths, teeth, breasts, height/leg length exaggeration, minimising bodily hair, nails, odors, special garments so on, along with a huge array of body language and sophisticated innate and learnt behavioural ruses are part of the arsenal.

Relatively speaking men use far less enhancement (or subterfuge) and what they do is much less sophisticated. This has traditionally placed men at a disadvantage. Evolutionary and social psychology shows us the factors that make women attracted to men. Because women tend to select men less on looks (reproducibility) and more on the things that fit them for the relationship long haul (survivability) it is possible for a man to understand and learn to project these traits women see as desirable indicators. Iin many specifics these are characteristics that other men also see as positive attributes. So if a man decides to improve his grooming, to exercise so that his physique and posture improve and along with it his confidence (and testosterone levels) and learns the basic body language and male to female verbal communication and behavioural keys of succesful males his chances of securing a more attractive partner (for some men, just a partner) improve. Nothing wrong with that, much of it is taught as deportment to females.

Me. A student of human nature, especially evolutionary psychology who finds this field is particularly interesting. I think I was nearly in a punch up on friday night while researching this. A girl with a big arse was flirting considerably with me while her boyfriend stared hard. I said in her ear, hot and breathy, "make him jealous babe, then he will want you more" Then I said, "he can make us coffee". Her girlfriends were all a twitter. My friend,who is a counsellor wonders if my behaviour is all reference standard for compassion and humility. She says she will visit me in hospital.

Grego. I wont dry hump it all here but my long reply post on shanghais that you initiated 3 weeks ago and again for some reason a couple of days ago has been excluded.
Sermon from the Mount. Hmm, more than a few alpha characters there and a curtain probably coming down on one 41 yo Holden driver. His boss/partner, Mr Walkinshaw might know a thing or two about alpha. I'm in the last stages of screwing together a big rev small block Ford for a Sports Car that uses a few Supercar style bits so good as usual to see the 1000k reliability testing passed easily.

Kerry Packer. Quintessential alpha male.
Troy. Blog alpha.

Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 15, 2008 11:22 AM

The concept of Alpha is tribal/pack mentality. Within our modern society, "packs" shift and change. They are fluid. He (or she) who reigns supreme in one pack are placed lower on the pecking order in another. Their position may change many times during the day or remain stable for years. No wonder then, that it is difficult to place an absolute defination on one, let alone identify one.

Posted by: willow29 at October 15, 2008 10:59 AM

Haha Warm and overcast here today too. Troy

Posted by: tallerthantom at October 15, 2008 10:41 AM

Posted by: troyohboy at October 15, 2008 9:00 AM

It may well be we are arguing similar points but misunderstanding.... I was saying that a Ben Cousins (to use your example) was not what I considered a quintessential alpha (based on physical attributes and popularity).... and that I read your description as suggesting it was ... I agree (and my point on Kerry Packer alluded to this) it is a charisma/leadership as well as physical attraction (rather than strength) qualities that are definitive in alpha behaviour... at least in humans.... ..... and the suggestion about positive reinforcement from mates.... not what I said... it was that bluff and bluster, false bravado, does not impress in my circle of friends.... actual substance, being yourself and not trying to impress is what is valued...... so, quite the opposite to what you're suggesting really..... just to clarify....

Posted by: spanky668 at October 15, 2008 9:46 AM

Spanky, you seem reluctant to define alpha males and their behaviour. The whole alpha, beta thing is a base evolutionary way of thinking. As such I consider an alpha as one who displays those base 'qualities' and is attractive to women due to these qualities. It is raw, instinctive and as simple as that. Perhaps Kerry Packer was an alpha, I don't know. You continue to miss my point, probably due to your, yet to be defined yet different view of what an alpha type is. It is not necessarily a top of the tree individual overall. I think politicians are often the type and it's defined as charisma. These individuals may scale the dizzy heights of power and yet are not that impressive.
In response to your little dig about me considering myself alpha I can only laugh, as I did. I've seen enough alpha's tp know I'm not one, and happily so......mostly. I have no problem and am comfortable with it without the need to seek positive reinforcement from my put up or shut up mates.

T than T, surely you're not going to tell me today is sunny....10 k's can't make that much difference :-)

Posted by: troyohboy at October 15, 2008 9:00 AM

Posted by: troyohboy at October 14, 2008 10:23 PM

I think you like your definition because it suits your purpose..... Would you say Kerry Packer fitted your definition?? I would have thought he would have been considered Alpha??? What you are describing is an initial attraction for some women (has to be backed up in the long run).... otherwise all the "Betas" would be single.... I gather you consider yourself alpha based on your definition??? Alpha males will be very different between species, some based on strength, some on looks and others will be ability to provide..... humans will be attracted to all these traits depending on what they value, and what levels of each are present.... Troy, I don't really care whether you consider me to be an Alpha (nor whether I am), it is not something I think is relevant (for the above reasons)... I just find it amusing that some others try and pass themselves off as one with yet another display of superiority under a different guise......

Posted by: spanky668 at October 15, 2008 7:56 AM

"intelligent women may see it but these same women disregard what they see because they want what is on offer" yes, I think you're right there, Troy, I've seen that...it makes me 'tear my hair out' at times.

H2H, c'mon, get over yourself. YOU are misquoting me; 'flunko' is certainly not a word I'd use to describe men. That confusion of yours is probably due an emotional reaction to what I said...what could it be?

Posted by: waterbombe at October 15, 2008 7:04 AM

Posted by: waterbombe at October 14, 2008 6:14 PM - Very interesting words from a 'sharp' and 'polite' woman such as yourself. The very same 'woman' that misquotes people to further their own argument? And the same person that 'dates 2 or 3 a week' because if they are all flunko's, there'll be 2 or 3 again next week? Shock horror - do we have an Alpha Female in our midst? Or am I getting that confused with silverback gorillas, in the mist?

Posted by: heart2heart57 at October 15, 2008 1:10 AM

Posted by: iaminperth at October 14, 2008 7:36 PM

Perth, I would think Marcus has some scientific interest in Timewarp"s granny bonking persuits.My race mechanic is a great advocate of granny bonking and maintains grannies "Dont tell, dont swell and dont smell" The first 2 I can understand but not the 3rd.

Whilst I disagree with Marcus' question I defend his right to ask it. With apologies to, I think, Disraeli.
rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at October 14, 2008 10:36 PM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 14, 2008 8:41 PM

He hates not being alpha....simple

Posted by: troyohboy at October 14, 2008 10:35 PM

Posted by: waterbombe at October 14, 2008 6:14 PM

Sorry WB I don't think you get it. You may see it and intelligent women may see it but these same women disregard what they see because they want what is on offer. They are prepared to accept the downside for what the upside can offer. That may be a lifestyle, money, acceptance or power. Surely you don't believe this is generally the case. I'm not even talking about the girlfriend of an NRL player who was glassed by him yet says nothing. It could be your average woman who craves acceptance at the local footy club by being with one of the popular players or former players. I repeat, as you seem to have missed it, this is purely an expression of what I have observed, not my endorsement.

Posted by: troyohboy at October 14, 2008 10:33 PM

Just shooting the breeze with you spanks. Do you believe the alpha male is different than the definition I put up?

Posted by: troyohboy at October 14, 2008 10:23 PM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 14, 2008 8:21 PM I am not looking for permission Marcus, I am merely discussing a topic.... you know.... blogging???but while we are asking questions Skidmarcus, .... no really, do you dance around the lounge room in y-fronts and a plastic Viking helmet, singing loudly to "Viva la vida", teary eyed, shaking an angry fist at the list of impetuous bloggers, who dare question you, written on the lounge room mirror in red lipstick....... need validation much??
"I used to rule the world .....
Seas would rise when I gave the word .....
Now in the morning I sweep alone .....
Sweep the streets I used to own.....

I used to roll the dice .....
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes .....
Listen as the crowd would sing: .....
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"....."..... as for..

"Very Beta".....Cutting comments Marcus....no really, I'm gutted....... though couldn't you back it up with some 80 year old Corn Flakes inspired literature, misrepresented and packaged as your own thoughts???........

Posted by: troyohboy at October 14, 2008 6:49 PM .... On what basis do you draw that assumption, that I haven't seen the other side?? Regardless.... liike I said, it really has no bearing on my life either way, play the cards you're dealt, and as you said with Cousins.... if that is Alpha.... It doesn't put you in the best position.... sure, buff and goodlooking is never going to hurt either sexes chances of attracting a mate, but there is more to it than any one measure.... It doesn't shit me Troy, jsut don't subscribe to all the hype of a thin generalisation...??

Posted by: spanky668 at October 14, 2008 9:15 PM

All that approval seeking....isn't that what you want from women, Marcus...so they'll agree to hop into the cot with you? You suggest men spend an inordinate amount of energy on faking a particular personality...so that they can get sex....why go to the trouble? The men who read these websites clearly aren't getting enough sex just being themselves. That might be worth a bit of thought.

Posted by: waterbombe at October 14, 2008 8:45 PM

spanky at October 14, 2008 5:10 PM
Very beta.
All that qualification and questioning, approval and permission seeking.
Why give a rat's what Troy thinks?

Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 14, 2008 8:41 PM

spanky October 14, 2008 5:10 PM
Very beta.
All that questioning, self qualification and permission and approval seeking.
Why give a rat's what Troy thinks?
Not a good look with your gay sounding moniker.

Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 14, 2008 8:21 PM

I can't think of anything worse going shopping with a man for womens clothes. I don't mind going shopping with a bloke for him to buy clothes but other than that no thanks. You can see them standing around waiting for women to try things on going from shop to shop looking bored witless. No thanks, shopping for me is by myself, going where I want to in my time and can meet up afterwards.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 14, 2008 7:49 PM

Timewarp.
You've told us about the pragmatic and utilitarian Joan and the pneumatic Phillida yesterday. Now, hows about a bit of info on the new one? Have you actually occupied that space at the table and then the bed or are negotiations continuing?
Cheers Marcus.

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 14, 2008 12:01 PM
Marcus, Please don't, just don't. This is crossing the line. This poor woman is a mother and I think now a grandmother, is elderly and apparently still forced to work and has no right of reply. All the other women spoken about in such condenscending ways also had no right of reply except for Kurli. This is too far below human decency even for these blogs.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 14, 2008 7:36 PM

Spanky, that is absolutley correct....but what is an alpha male? I think the base description is they are the big, strong, tough captain of the footy team. It is the individual that most men wish they were and who most women lust after...if only subconciously or when staring at the ceiling in bed at night. That's because these people have it easier than everyone else and are admired without expectation. This is why Ben Cousins is still being considered to play (even if it's only Gay F L) after all his antics. He has no idea what he has done wrong...he's always behaved like this and everyone turned a blind eye. I have been involved in top level sport and have seen it again and again.
Back to what we were discussing spanky. I don't believe you have experienced the other side of the alpha behaviour and don't understand it....it just s**ts you. Marcus isn't alpha yet presents the case.

Oh and TthanT, I just had a look outside and plenty of cloud so hardly sunny all day. Perhaps my glass is half full :-)

Posted by: troyohboy at October 14, 2008 6:49 PM

This bravado and posturing that you and Marcus talk about, Troy, is seen through very quickly by most women. The thing is, women are polite. They will think you are a w***ker but they won't tell you that.
And why the need to pretend confidence? Haven't you done enough in your life to be genuinely confident? Having to pretend suggests to me either that you have an inferiority complex or you aren't much of a guy...those are the conclusions I'd draw. I'm sure neither are true of you but any guy who is seriously trying to be a so-called "alpha" ought to have another think.

Also these 'alpha" males are a bore....they are so transparent....all a woman needs to do is ask one or two well-posed questions asking for evidence, and the guy hesitates a fraction...before he makes something up...a sharp woman (and that's most of us) knows he is lying . But as I said, a polite woman (and that's most of us) won't confront him with that. These guys think they're getting away with it, but they're not. They are shooting themselves in the foot. Once a woman knows he's a poser, a guy is dead in the water. What a waste of everyone's time...frankly most Aussies have too good a BS detector for this stuff to be successful.

And Marcus, how come you lack the transparency you demand of others...you cite someone else's ideas as if they are your own...a tad dishonest and devious, isn't it? How about "transparently" telling us who the real author is when you've lifted someone else's stuff?

Posted by: waterbombe at October 14, 2008 6:14 PM

"There are "so many ugly old rich blokes with attractive younger women" ... true in many many instances". Posted by: troyohboy at October 14, 2008 11:48 AM

Very few men are really rich...and some of them have partners their age ...Troy, you are not talking about many many people, you are talking about just a few. It's a popular social myth that rich old guys get young gorgeous women...and some do but it's hardly representative of the population is it? The kinds of partners old rich guys get, who are often old rich women anyway, doesn't tell us much about men.

Posted by: waterbombe at October 14, 2008 6:06 PM

Don't want to steal your thunder Kaz but for the record, what women want - part 2 extended...

A man that lets me take his credit card shopping (he can stay at home).

A man who cleans the toilet (while he is there the rest of the bathroom too).

A man that drinks white wine rather than red all the time.

A man who has a grunt car and will pick me up (the black 5 speed manual convertible can stay at home).

A man who enjoys going to foreign film festivals.

The rest Kaz are okay by me.

Posted by: aqueousdb66 at October 14, 2008 5:58 PM

featherlessbiped.
Not everyone who has relatives interacts with them, likes them or loves them

I would say you are in a better emotional position than many, having had people in your life who loved you and you them.

The underlying component that partners are often looking for is ability to interact with others in a meaningful way.

A good relationship with family is a positive indicator for future happiness , but so too would be close relationships with non relatives eg long standing friends.

If you have a few good friends who are your family substitutes then you are okay.

If you are a true loner then that may cause a potential partner to feel a bit responsible if they become involved with you so they hesitate.

I suggest (as you live in Melbourne) finding a gorgeous Italian or Greek girl who comes with a large extended family as soon as possible and then create a family of your own!

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 14, 2008 5:55 PM

Posted by: troyohboy at October 14, 2008 12:48 PM I don't get the reference.... how is it all going... well pretty good thanks...and you?? I like my life, and my friends, and we have a pretty similar world view.... Alpha male posturing is all good and well, but really, if you're an alpha male....... do you walk around saying it.... "G'day....I'm an Alpha male".... Do you actually give a toss..... come on Troy, I know your not dumb.... can you honestly say that bravado, with no substance is not going to be found out, and pretty quickly?? or that being confident in who you are cannot be an understated, quiet confidence rather than a vey public chest beating display...? after 13 years as a chef, I have seen more than enough "rockstars" that need to attack everyone else to make themselves look good........ invariably they have been scared little men, worried they are going to be found out...... sorry, that doesn't appeal to me, I just have enough confidence to let each person decide for themselves...... as you said, just my opinion..... and sounds pretty text book ... am I being too clear, rational and/or concise??? I am just giving my thoughts Troy........???

Posted by: spanky668 at October 14, 2008 5:10 PM

Oh, God. I�ve got to rephrase my words in case I would offend anyone:

To replace: �What�s the use of a good look and a model body?�
I would say: �For me, there are more aspects that are far more important than a person�s look and figure, because our bodies and faces will age, but our minds and hearts would not if we don�t want to.�

Posted by: ahappyending at October 14, 2008 4:09 PM

What do women want Part 2...

Well, rustysteed, l can fund my own shopping for shoes, but if you are offering fine, l will take you with me.

A man who puts down the toilet seat (natch).

A man that drinks champagne with abandon.

A man that understands that when we are quiet and silent we do not want to talk about football, cricket or golf.......Of course we do at times get interested in these sports, usually when there is not much else on, but cricket puts me to sleep, golf l do not get, (albatrosses, birdies, eagles, WTF), and football l don't mind as long as Essendon are doing well.

A man who likes to moisturise....himself, preferably, but if the offer is there.....ahem.

A man who will make me a cup of tea first thing in the morning. I really am so much better with one under the belt.

A man who likes Will and Grace......l do like a nicely groomed gay man, not as a partner, but they really are so neat and tidy.

A man who likes Mooloolaba beach, heavenly, and would like to go there with me.

A man who has a grunt car....and would let me drive it, preferably a 5 speed manual, but only if it is black.

A man who has a nice hairy chest, l do like that for some reason, and strangely enough am attracted to bald men.....

A man who does not find the Shawshank Redemption his best fillum ever.

Now l do not think l am asking the impossible really, am l???

Ponder that guys, l will be adding to it in the next few days.....

Posted by: auntykaz at October 14, 2008 3:32 PM

Posted by: featherlessbiped at October 13, 2008 11:13 PM

Don't worry. You don't need all the girls in the world. One is enough, isn’t it?

If you have not met one yet, just wait it longer. A couple is for not only good time/play time but also for bad time/tough time. Why would you want to be with someone who has no compassion/sympathy? What’s the use of a good look and a model body? Our bodies and faces will age, but our minds and hearts would not if we don’t want to.

Posted by: ahappyending at October 14, 2008 2:08 PM

Hey Troy,
You're not alone there. I don't think it is just a "bloke thing" to need to be attracted physically to your partner, it's a lot of what a "romantic" relationship is all about.
Otherwise, we'd all be "just friends"!

Posted by: amberlight58 at October 14, 2008 2:00 PM

Posted by: amberlight58 at October 14, 2008 1:25 PM

Hey amber. Yep, I agree with a lot of what you write. What I wrote was my observation, not my opinion, but you should know that anyway. I just think that most of the time, in my experience, a bloke or woman will go for the look first. You are correct that to succeed a lot more boxes have to be ticked, all I'm saying is that those who appear more attractive have more options. Again, confidence is attractive so the less attractive, but confident, may appeal to more men/women.
I'm as guilty as the next bloke by the way. If the lady I'm with wasn't very attractive to me it is much less likely the relationship would have progressed to be 2 years next month. By the same token she has said to me that she could not contemplate being with someone overweight. I don't think that's shallow, it's an important lifestyle choice......in my view.
Have a great day, enjoy your garden, weather overcast here, had rain, need more, back to tighter water restrictions next month.

Troy

Posted by: troyohboy at October 14, 2008 1:50 PM

Posted by: featherlessbiped at October 13, 2008 11:13 PM

I can understand why some people may be a little broad-sided by your family situation. Maybe you could try a wry grin and sort of say it was a very long time ago and a lot has changed. You could perhaps say you'll elaborate more if you do get to know each other better, but for now you'd rather not go into details.
Perhaps you could crack a slight joke in at least if we ever did get together you'll never have to worry about any in or out-laws.

I don't think that not having a family should be too much of a hurdle, in fact a lot of really soft-hearted girls may well feel very bad for you. (Not that you want sympathy, of course.)
I think most women would admire you for making your way so well in your life, despite your family tragedy.
After all you have already proven you are a strong man emotionally, which can only be good thing for a woman looking for a man, not a boy.

Posted by: amberlight58 at October 14, 2008 1:45 PM

Posted by: auntykaz at October 13, 2008 9:44 PM
Lol...... That's the idea. lol..... I am waiting for Part 2. lol……
But let's reframe our expectation easier for our gentlemen:
A man who will happily accompany you for a few hours in the shopping center, shopping for groceries and carrying heavy stuff for us ------------ Is it ok, gentlemen? You know you are our dominant gender in our society with stronger bones, braver survival instincts and smarter brains. So, we, girls, are supposed to be able to depend on you on this?
Lol.. I like you guys, really make my day.

Posted by: ahappyending at October 14, 2008 1:41 PM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 14, 2008 12:01 PM

Marcus, maybe TW has learnt (the hard way)......a "gentleman" never tells!

Posted by: amberlight58 at October 14, 2008 1:30 PM

Troy,
While I agree in part with what you say, I can't agree with all of it. Many "alpha' men probably do choose on looks first because they can, but surely after this there needs to be a "whole package"? I have known very good-looking men to be in relationships with beautiful but very difficult women and things may go okay for a few years, but eventually they get to the stage where they have had enough.
Often their next partner years later, is no where near as stunning but a much easier person to be in a relationship with!

You also said that so-called "lesser" men compensate for their less attractive partners by saying that they are only interested in the "inner" woman.
A bit harsh perhaps, as some very ordinary looking men also often have stunning partners. (And I am not talking about the Hugh Hefner rolling-in-money types although I am sure that this certainly influences those very beautiful woman who are looking for a quick trip to fame and fortune!)

I suggest that although "alpha" males and females can and often do, end up with very good-looking people like themselves, they often choose not to.
I think that life for them is very much the same for them as the rest of us so-called (by some) lesser mortals, they are looking for someone to love and care for them for who they are, not for what they look like.

As far as Marcus is concerned, he used to upset me, but now at times, he simply annoys me.
Yes he can be witty and so funny and I am sure he enjoys "stirring the pot", but it would be nice to see him reference the source of his obviously copied comments occasionally, so we can see whether he is actually having an original thought for once.

If he did this then the debate would be more about the content and would be much less personal.
However, I don't think that is his intention, it is more about "livening things up" when it aIl becomes a bit staid and boring.
Which is good, makes blog "life" more interesting.

However, I think enough of the "real" Marcus probably comes through in some of his at times, obnoxious "throwaway" comments, for us to realise he really does have a real fear of intimacy and commitment.
Otherwise why would he ever have been even interested in having sex with all those "middle-aged, needy and desperate" women he so obviously despises by the way he has talked about them in the past (although he hasn't said anything recently, thank goodness).
If you are looking for anything other than a quick "sc***" why would you even bother, if they are not what you are looking for in a partner?
Of course, in Marcus' case he probably thought he was doing them a favour!
However, he did kind of ruin his philanthropy when he then thought it was okay to run those unfortunate and very unwise women down on the blogs months or years later.
Some of us middle-aged but not-so-needy-and-desperate women don't forget that kind of talk Marcus.
It just shows the kind of man you really are!

Posted by: amberlight58 at October 14, 2008 1:25 PM

A man who will happily accompany you for hours on end whilst you shop for shoes, perfume, handbags and frocks....
Posted by: auntykaz at October 13, 2008 9:44 PM

But where would you find such a unique and rare specimen??? I mean that's why sport was invented, so you can park him in front of the telly on Saturday morning and keep him amused while you take your credit cards out for a walk with your girlfriends...

Posted by: moniquen at October 14, 2008 1:19 PM

Posted by: featherlessbiped at October 13, 2008 11:13 PM

FP, I think most people feel uneasy when they meet someone who has suffered a significant personal loss that they have not. I know as a parent that when I meet another parent who has lost a child I feel "bad" and uneasy. It is probably a combination of relief, guilt etc that we have not felt the same pain as the bereaved person.

In a dating sense it should not be a negative that you are an orphan especially as you have shown the strength of character to have come through it. It could even be seen as a positive. eg there will never be any arguements about which in-laws to visit at Christmas.Maybe you could use this thought as a way of defusing unease in the other person.
rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at October 14, 2008 12:58 PM

Posted by: spanky668 at October 14, 2008 12:07 PM

So, how're you going with all that mate. Not having a go but all you write seems pretty text book. I may be wrong....I'm not very bright to which OBD will attest ;-)

Posted by: troyohboy at October 14, 2008 12:48 PM

Posted by: troyohboy at October 14, 2008 11:48 AM Yeah.... sitting here shaking angry fists that I too cannot be ignorant, and threatened by a woman capable of having an opinion... BS does not cut it, and while it may be a great substitute to substance, in my world it bores the crap out of people..... ante up or shut up is pretty much the credence my mates live by..... it is self confidence that enables us to be ourselves and not some weak manifestation of antiquated views seeking to try and subserviate women to make up for our own inadequacies...... and if I rise to the bait Marcus so willingly dangles, it is because I am sick of rubbish for the sake of rubbish..... surely something more interesting or substantial can be added.....

Posted by: spanky668 at October 14, 2008 12:07 PM

Hi, guys
Leave our darling Perthy alone. The Love Song Blog needs your talent and energy.
Have a very happy day, you all!

Posted by: ahappyending at October 14, 2008 12:03 PM

Timewarp.
You've told us about the pragmatic and utilitarian Joan and the pneumatic Phillida yesterday. Now, hows about a bit of info on the new one? Have you actually occupied that space at the table and then the bed or are negotiations continuing?
Cheers Marcus.

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 14, 2008 12:01 PM

I think there is little doubt that spanky, not being one, resents the alpha concept and actuality. Whilst marcus, to me, often posts with tongue firmly in cheek several here always rise to the bait. It may be he has a base belief in what he writes however he does play several here beautifully and I find that amusing and clever.
There is no doubt in my mind that women find confidence in a man extremely attractive and that men initially make their choices based upon looks. That's if they're alpha 'cause they can. The rest have to take what they can get and try to cover up by saying it's about the inner woman. People who are more attractive are, often, more confident and this adds to their appeal. Mind you, I've known a couple of blokes who were not attractive but thought they were. So they were confident and did very well thank you.
Basically it must be acknowledged that men go for good sorts and women go for good providers. If this were not the case there would not be so many ugly old rich blokes with attractive younger women......but perhaps it was their confidence the women admired?
Yep, lots of generalisations but true in many many instances.

Troy

Posted by: troyohboy at October 14, 2008 11:48 AM

Posted by: grego7 at October 14, 2008 10:09 AM

HA, good luck with that grego. I'll informed generalisations are perth's specialty.......but loves the attention.

Troy

Posted by: troyohboy at October 14, 2008 11:32 AM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 14, 2008 10:21 AM

Poor Marcus, My profile is visible to all and apart from a few days the other week when it was hidden, always has been, and frankly it is machiavellian to suggest otherwise... you have seen it several times Marcus as the recent viewers widow has shown!!!...... I acknowledge that point 1 in your original post did say don't apologise for every thing you do wrong (which was on oversight on my part) however the idea that if you are wrong, you should "glance" over it.... what about if she's wrong Marcus.... do you still favour the whatever approach, or do you like to pay a little more attention ot her mistakes??? It's all good and well Marcus to fight for the legitamacy of your view points and talking about having balls and transparency, but how about anteing up and and giving "Roissy, your lord and King" an acknowledgement for The Sixteen Commandments Of Poon ..... he did write it after all..... Oh and Bravo.... referencing (well, plagarising) something less than 35 years old..... you can teach an old dog new tricks.....

Posted by: spanky668 at October 14, 2008 11:28 AM

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 13, 2008 9:06 PM

TW, I think you may have got very close to the truth about the fears of the west coast woman with that post of yours. Good shooting.

I would like to put on record, that although you have driven me to distraction at times when you give us details of your life to the absolute nth increment, I have considerable respect for your courage and good cheer in the way you are batting on and looking after yourself.

I really hope you find someone. Just slowly slowly catchee monkey, OK.
rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at October 14, 2008 10:34 AM

spanky668 at October 14, 2008 7:57 AM
I don't know how you come to your conclusion. It certainly isn't a logical one.
Nothing I've said precludes a healthy relationship. In fact many of the elements that make good relationships are implicit in an man's understanding of the gender differences.
I'm concerned about your comments on arrogance and accountability too. Your attacks would have some legitimacy if you had the balls to reveal your profile self.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 14, 2008 10:21 AM

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 10:10 PM

Perth, you have not answered my question. What is the source of your assertion that Dr Eric Berne killed himself. You have merely repeated your assertion. The literature does not back up your assertion.

You also made a comment about someone being "condescending when exposed" at 10.13pm. As you invariably do not direct your comments to a particular person but make grandiose statements to the ether I find it difficult to understand what you are talking about.

But returning to Eric Berne I cannot find any mention in the literature including my own two encyclopedias that he topped himself. According to everything that I have read he died of a second heart attack in hopital.

I believe if one is going to make a statement about how a person died one should get it correct especially if you claim the person killed themselves.
rgds grego
BTW, I have no interest in Berne or his transactional analysis hypotheses.
rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at October 14, 2008 10:09 AM

Posted by: iaminperth at October 14, 2008 8:24 AM

I would be interested to know by what power you determine TW is lying not withstanding pots should be very careful around black kettles.

Posted by: troyohboy at October 14, 2008 9:09 AM

Point taken, just get tired of all the porkies. Shame really.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 14, 2008 8:24 AM

And no econometric statistics for you either, Perthie. ("Apparently size or temperament have little to do with it, income and own house is the criteria." 2:43 PM) Or should that read 'are the criteria'?

PS: Starry's new bloke sounds very suitable too, from what she told me, and I wish them joy as well.
Posted by: timewarp1 at October 13, 2008 6:19 PM

Thanks TW he is a great guy, with a zanier sense of humour than mine, and like I said, it's early days and we are happy to just BE. If it lasts 2 months or 2 years, it's going to be a fun ride ;)

PERTH why not lay off TW and just be happy for him? Wouldn't that be a nice change...a bit of joy, a bit of compassion???

Posted by: starryeyez at October 14, 2008 7:58 AM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 14, 2008 2:21 AM

Again Marcus, this is not what you said...... just a refresher, you said "what matters is that you think and act like you are. .../ Irrational self-confidence will get you more pussy." again, sounds like the very definition of arrogance (inflated view of self worth)...... and for the record.... confidence is being able to have an equal in a relationship without feeling like you have to surrender mr happy, or your own independence..... who wants some subserviant sidekick.... wouldn't you rather someone who is equal to you in all areas, and who adds ideas thoughts and inspriation (and the occassional ass kicking when you're wrong), rather than "yes darling, you're so clever" .......... this epitomises a lack of confidence and a fear of being challenged (as it may show the false confidence being put on) and to me is indicative of an inferiority complex.... IMHO

Posted by: spanky668 at October 14, 2008 7:57 AM

Posted by: featherlessbiped at October 13, 2008 9:15 PM

It may not translate to your age range though, FB. At my age there seem to be suddenly a lot of guys available because they left their wives after the kids left home...they are in their 50s when they do that and there are quite a lot of them. I checked the ABS data a few years ago and there is a hike in divorce after 10 years of marriage and again after about 28 years, I think. So I was benefitting from the last one. I am not sure of the situation in your age group...statistically speaking in Australia, women 5 years younger than you are the group a man your age would partner, and what is their situation? I'm not sure but I suspect they are not looking to settle down yet.

The other thing is, the vast majority of men go by the photo.They will agree to meet a woman if she looks good (women are more discerning, I think). My photos are not too bad. Someone with attractive photos is at an advantage on a site like this if she is a woman. I hear you are quite a looker and if you were female, men being who they are, you would get a lot more meetings.

Those are two differences I can think of that might make a difference to how you see things. Hope it helps.

Posted by: waterbombe at October 14, 2008 6:19 AM

Posted by: waterbombe at October 13, 2008 6:40 PM

Funny marcus should overlook that one (sexual selection)......... must be harder to fake I guess.....

Posted by: spanky668 at October 14, 2008 5:43 AM

Waterflambe.
Thank you for clearing what uncertainty I had about your scientific understanding; you have, again, missed the essential point. It looks more like you have very recently found Darwinism and evolution and are indicating how confused you are about it while pretending to tell us something.
The precise point about females choosing to mate with the best endowed male is because his shiny plumage, long tail, large size, loud singing or calling voice, large penis, good hunting ability indicates his health and strength and is a very good guide to his survivability and fitness. The fact that he can in some cases support a large ornamental appendage or if a human display his leadership abilities, his fearlesness, proves he has survivability to spare and the females offspring, her genes, will very likely continue the trait. In fact, without getting detailed, the female herself will be carrying genes that both select for and carry these male characteristics because it was on this same basis that she was bred.
The natural selection processes that have seen us evolve as primates have been operating for millions of generations and female mate choosing for that is the way with us, and for all mammals, takes a variety of things into account. As our populations have grown and societies become more complex and sophisticated so have mating rituals. Many societies marry by custom and arrangement. Females choosing their mates in the Western style may be quite the minority.

Biped wrote
"Anyway, your whole premise that alphas can be beta-ised suggests that social conditioning, reflective thought, and so on, play an important role in what sort of person we end up being. That means that none of us are *forced* as result of genetic inheritance, to fulfill some role played out on the plains thousands of years ago"

It's is precisely that point about males understanding certain succesful partner garnering behaviours that I am on about. I notice here how annoyed women are by the idea of evolutionary psychology and unchangeable genetic determination. I notice how interested many men are in it. Women do not want to deal with the fact that her genes, as expressed in her physical attractiveness, her face and her figure, give her sexual market value. It is almost impossible to move it upwards. This is what Alpha men, desirable partners for women will choose on- about 80% appearance, 20% survivability. The intuitive understanding of this by women is closely held and rarely articulated. It is deep and primordial and goes right to the core of a young womans understanding of her prospects. And this is why women so importantly want men to see things in them other than their beauty.

Men on the other hand are chosen by women less on their looks (reproducibility) and more on their manly attributes (survivability).The manly attributes that the succesful males, the alphas, have can be learnt like any other skill and can become innate. This learning by practice, research, observation and intuition, by speaking to women, and to men who have the traits can increase a mans ability to gain a more attractive, desirable partner and to advance in other areas in his life.

Spanky.
The sons of alphas are often alpha as well. Many alpha fathers teach their boys what it takes. These men are not phonies or imposters; they are often leaders, role models and success stories.

Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 14, 2008 2:21 AM

Hello everyone; just came back from a week at Stradbroke Island (loved it) hence I have missed a lot of the discussion. It does look interesting though. I haven't discovered a 'perfect' style of meeting that next daring partner in my life.

I note with eceptism a comment posted about 'going ethnic' - may I ask what that really means. I beg you to challenge my intellect on this subject, noting that as a woman born overseas and from a non-English speaking background, I suppose that qualifies me as an 'ethnic'. There are multiple differences in a group irrespective of what that group is - there is no homogenety that I know of. I wonder however, what it is that triggered that comment after all intellect, beauty, and looks are found in every group. I pose to you the idea of power - do you see the potential for power differentials to be present in such relationship. How do you conceptualise power? What is it about women in the context of living in Australia that does not stimulate you to seek relationships here? Is it really about the other who would be of ethnic origins or is it about you? I inform my feedback on that particular comment based on observations about differences generally.

Personally I have discovered, having married a man who was from another cultural background to mine that it does not matter where you come from. At the end of the day it is about common values and beliefs that bond enough to make a loving relationship work for both + the blessings of children if you so desire. At the end of the day they don't always work (relationships).

I am interested on the topic given my own cultural and liguistic background - I do however, look at relationships for the qualities of individuals rather than ethnicity. I am looking forward to hearing other's views on this.

Posted by: annabelle1962 at October 13, 2008 11:31 PM

While we're here, can I ask one question that is bothering me?

I'm thinking about some of the dates that I have had, and people always ask about your family.

So I always have to tell them that my parents and my brother are dead. Sometimes it can be really drawn out... they ask you about your mother... dead. Ask you about your father... dead. Ask you about your siblings... dead. So I've learned from this to drop the whole bundle all at once. Because of other factors that I won't bore you with (nothing salacious) I haven't spoken to anyone related to me for nearly a decade.

For someone of my age, this situation is unusual, even though the last death was a decade ago, when I was in my mid-20s. In a dating situation, though, usually, this causes discomfort.

Given that so many people prioritise family, I wonder whether this is having a bad effect on things.

Sometimes, I wonder whether women will therefore think that I am some kind of lame duck. Now, I won't say that this hasn't been a difficulty for me, but there are still a number of things I managed to achieve during that time, and things I did to support a dying parent that showed, at least, some sort of sense of character. But you can't really mention those things on a date - it makes you sound too defensive.

Perhaps I'm clutching at straws here, and maybe this whole issue is not such a big deal for women. But I kind of feel like this is a negative that other guys I'm "competing" with don't have.

Actually, I know it is a negative... I just don't know quite how to best handle it in a dating situation, apart from trying not to make a big deal out of it.

Anyway, I apologise if this is too sad or pathetic a question to ask here, and really, I should be rational and say, "Yes, this is a negative thing, and it will probably be held against you compared with other guys, so you have to compensate somehow."

I've tried making it seem like no big deal, but it always seems to cause some level of discomfort when it comes up, as it always does.

One last thing... this is not a cry for sympathy, etc... I've had years to come to terms with my situation. This is *strictly* about implications for dating, and something that causes me concern in that context alone. What I'm most interested in is opinions about whether this is something that will be held against me on a first meeting. If so, that's fine.

Posted by: featherlessbiped at October 13, 2008 11:13 PM

Crikey Kaz..a hewhore..sounds like a noise a donkey would make..sort of ironic i guess ;p,especially if it was a male donkey...

I don't really have a problem with your list until the last one about the shopping part,no doubt helping to fund some of the more essential 12 th pair of shoes.

Being a bloke shopping for me is usually conducted like a military surgical strike.In and gtfo with as little collateral damage as possible. Cheers :)

Posted by: rustysteed at October 13, 2008 10:51 PM

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 13, 2008 9:49 PM:

Thanks... most kind of you.

I don't think I could cope with 170 dates, though... 1 date a week for that long would probably stress me out too much, I think...!

Posted by: featherlessbiped at October 13, 2008 10:22 PM

Hey Elf, I hope you are happy and you enjoy yourself. Keep happy and keep open and honest and look forward to more of your blogs when you have the time. Keep moving forward with honesty, keep achieving little things, no matter how small, don't get caught up with trivia and crap. Just enjoy.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 10:19 PM

The most common request by females on rsvp is for a honest man.

In praise of Marcus aka "LaughtsandTalks" which I think tells us a lot about what he is up to, he is an honest man and I for one admire and respect that quality, especially in the mating game, almost above anything else. We girls would be a great deal better off if we could guantee the same in every other male on this site. Don't you agree?

Posted by: fifilafume at October 13, 2008 10:13 PM

You always become very condescending when exposed, it's a nasty trait.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 10:13 PM

He simply saw it as the ultimate game, nothing more and nothing less.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 10:11 PM

Dr Eric Berne, played the ultimate game and committed suicide. It was extremely interesting for students at that time and was not an unhappy scenario for him at all. He chose that way and that's what he did. He also denounced most of what he had said in life as rubbish and laughed at the people who held on to his every word as being gullible and stupid. It turned the psychiatric world on its ears as it proved that in the end we all have choices no matter what people say and his choice was to leave at that time.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 10:10 PM

FB, That stuff about women wanting confident men..I have a different interpretation of that ....for me it's that I don't want a man who is really just a large child. Having raised kids I don't want to be lumbered with a man who acts like one...and I see confidence as independence, I guess..so if I ask for a confident man I think I'll be more likely to get one who isn't still looking for mummy.to take care of him...that's what I mean by it, anyway. There's actually quite a few middle aged men who want a woman to wipe their noses, you'd be surprised.

And no, sexual selection isn't all visual...I oversimplified that point in order to get Marcus down to the beauty parlour...it's undefined, really, why females choose males as "attractive"...what is certain is that Darwin said animals/humans had no idea about the gene pool when they were deciding who to mate with....natural selection is retroactive not prospective ...it is not something one makes plans about ahead of time.

The stuff I've been reading recently about Darwinian theory doesn't place sexual selection in an "also ran" category....I think that's how people read Darwins' work some time after it was published. But he places it equal in importance to natural selection because sexual selection is what creates the enormous diversity of life, while natural selection narrows it...the two operate in tandem.

Posted by: waterbombe at October 13, 2008 10:06 PM

Except the main thing you are thrilled about is that she will be working for another eight years. Come on own up, you are looking for a place to live. It's pretty obvious otherwise you will end up in an old peoples home.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 10:05 PM

This is turning into a very useful debate, and I'm really impressed with WB and plucked chicken's inputs.

I didn't actually follow WB's path. In my mid-20s I was dating my future wife (a comfortably-rounded blonde like myself) and when she was up the bush teaching, an even-more- comfortably-rounded and far-more-welcoming brunette.

I'd phone her straight after dinner on a weeknight, and she'd say "Give me 15 to shower." Pick her up 8 blocks away, grab a bottle of vintage Great Western champagne from the pub that still had it, and head for a shrubbery with an elevated view of stars.

Take turns sipping from the single champagne glass that fitted in my glovebox, and then spend an hour or so on some serious pashing.

The little bloke was firmly decided that the brunette was the go (think "Phillida was pneumatic bliss"), but the left brain further north finally chose the one from my own race, and with the superior intelligence and far stronger character. Produced some super kids, but only about half of our 30 years together were happy, or really together.

...........................................................

Really related to what you said, F'less B.
I'm in Brisvegas, and there are hundreds of women here in my preferred demographic.

So I've just been working my way steadily through the more appealing of them at the rate of about one a week, with no sense of urgency. Most of 170 first dates so far, in a bit under 3 years.

Passing over the majority because they didn't really appeal at our first meeting, but having another meeting or 6 with those where we both saw a possibility, if not a probability. No sweat, and no hurry. A couple wanted a road-test after a few dates, and who'd be stingey about that?

So different on a desert island, where it would be a lot more like any port in a storm.

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 13, 2008 9:49 PM

What do women want. Part 1
A man who is not a tosser.....of anything....especially his lofty ego......

A man who will listen when she has a bad day, make her a cuppa or pour a glass of chardy and "really is interested"

A man who will cook. Something nice and tasty. A roast lamb will do, with all the niceys to go with it.

A man who is a hewhore in the bedroom. Go get em tiger!!!!!.....But who will take no for an answer when we have a headache.....

A man who understands that for us, perving on another man is fine...after all, ya gotta look somewhere, right??

A man who will happily accompany you for hours on end whilst you shop for shoes, perfume, handbags and frocks....

Have l forgotten anything?? Stay tuned for tomorrows episode of " The World According To Kaz"...........................K

Posted by: auntykaz at October 13, 2008 9:44 PM

Posted by: waterbombe at October 13, 2008 8:51 PM:

Wow... that is absolutely mind-blowing. Thanks, by the way. No woman so far has offered up statistics that would help me understand anything about the true situation. For me, being able to meet 3 women in a year from here, with a lot of work on my part, is pretty good going.

3 in a week... It certainly puts things in perspective. If that is the level of availability of men that women are prepared to meet (after weeding out the unsuitables) then it makes me feel *heaps* better about all the knockbacks re. kisses, and the results I have achieved from dates on here.

Statistically speaking, I would be a fool to think I would succeed from those paltry opportunities when fronted up with anything like the amount of competition that there obviously is.

If what you said translates to my age-range, then I've actually done quite well to even have managed the number of second meetings that I have.

Posted by: featherlessbiped at October 13, 2008 9:15 PM

I would say bugga the mates, concentrate on your own feelings and needs at the time. The mates will come and go the partners should be for a long time and if they don't like it...tough. What's this thing about mates determining who your partner is..........how childish that sounds. Surely that is not based on an adult thinking in a logical manner.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 9:09 PM

Perthie at 6.52pm: Scratched record, darl. You're thinking it the way you would, if it was you. But I'm me, and I'm very different from you, in case you hadn't noticed.

Because I don't care if she owns her pad (whoever she is), or like me, rents it. It just has to have room for me at table, in front of her TV and in bed, when I'm visiting.

Like I've got room for her in my car, when I'm taking her out.

She won't be spending 6 months straight in my car, to let her think she should own half of it, the way I won't be staying full time at her place at all, to make me think that half of it should ever be mine. Wrong bloke for that. Irrelevant.

Please Perthie, don't let your own fears about that scenario cloud my issue. No need to fret at all, blossom.

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 13, 2008 9:06 PM

Well you don't need scientific evidence as it's not science but yes, I believe you. I think that single dads are so fabulous and have met a few myself thru my daughters school. They were terrific but I would still say that they are perhaps few and far between. The ones that do it are just so good, so honest and so caring and I believe some are far better than the mums in that case. However, I don't think a lot of guys would make that extreme effort and reap the rewards. I too have a friend who has raised his three children all by himself and what a fabulous job he has done but I don't know a lot who think like that.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 9:05 PM

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 13, 2008 2:16 PM
Why?
Oh, here is Part 3 about our Perfect Woman:
“But hang on a minute,” she is pondering, “What has my dear man ever done for me to deserve me this perfect?” Lol………
And, Part 2 will be continued………. Lol……….

Posted by: ahappyending at October 13, 2008 9:05 PM

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 1:36 PM

Perth, you have made the statement that Dr Eric Berne topped himself. From all the sources that I could find he is reported to have died of a heart attack. Please tell us what your source is for the assertion of suicide.
rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at October 13, 2008 9:02 PM

I think you are onto something, FB. When I was dating I had a lot of options of guys to meet...(very few of them were what I wanted but I couldn't tell that until I met them. Their profiles looked good and they sounded ok on the phone). I wasn't too careful about choosing...I certainly didn't think I was in a famine...not at all. If I didn't like the 2 or 3 I met this week, I just thought oh well, there will be another 2 or 3 next week. I didn't actually use "chemistry" to differentiate between them, although I can understand how a woman could use that if she beliveed in it. I guess it's true that women get more contacts on this site than guys...and so, having very different experiences, we choose differently.

But I live in Melbourne ehere there are thousands of attractive and decent single guys my age...it would be quite different for women living in small towns, wouldn't it? Then they might behave more like the men, as if they were in a famine rather than a feast too.

Posted by: waterbombe at October 13, 2008 8:51 PM

Perth - What kind of scientific evidence are we going off when someone says: "Not many men can also look after a house and raise children."? I happen to know a few single dads that are doing quite well for themselves with children and a household

Posted by: metalscott at October 13, 2008 8:44 PM

Posted by: waterbombe at October 13, 2008 6:40 PM:

Does it all come down to appearances, though? I mean, that would suggest that one of the very prime conditions laid down by a vast number of women on this site, namely, confidence, is completely sociologically generated. Having a look at male and female profiles on here, I can say that confidence is *heavily* implicated as a required characteristic in female profiles, but not in male profiles at all. From what I have gathered in my time on Earth, that factor, whatever it actually means, is absolutely paramount. And "chemistry" depends a great deal upon it.

I thought that Darwin fussed about sexual selection because he was worried about seemingly odd cases like peacocks with tails that would take a remarkable amount of energy to preserve (and, hence, might not be survival-conducive).

It was kind of an ad hoc suggestion he made to fill holes in his theory at the time, and others since then have tried to find ways to reduce it all to natural selection.

Posted by: featherlessbiped at October 13, 2008 8:38 PM

Not so long ago women were not able to go to university or even finish senior school and hence the male was the sole provider and therefore 'alpha', or number 1. Nowadays women work and earn, run a household, raise children and earn a decent wage. Unfortunately I don't quite think the poor old bloke has caught up. Yes, males can earn a good wage, but so can women. Not many men can also look after a house and raise children. So therein you have the problem, men became somewhat redundant, except for the ones left who wanted to have an equal partnership and share responsibility. Viva la difference!

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 8:15 PM

Here's a thought for today, that I thought I'd post here, since it appears to be where all the action is happening.

It has to do with chemistry, spark, etc.

I've been thinking lately about the last couple of women I met from here, and meetings I had with them.

In both cases, when I met them, they definitely enjoyed my company, laughed a lot, there were good conversations, etc. But, and especially in the most recent case, lack of chemistry was cited.

Now, I could kick back and think about these meetings, and draw the conclusion that some guys have on here, that women are too much into this mystical notion of chemistry, and bemoan my fate.

But I won't do that.

Because, I've been thinking about things a bit. Since I don't seem to get many positive responses on here, this means that as far as online dating goes, I have few options. That means that I'm rarely, if ever, sizing multiple people up against each other.

But turn this around. Imagine things from the woman's perspective who I meet. She is most likely not in this position. She is corresponding with a number of guys, and she needs to discriminate between them. If they are both OK kind of guys, what is she going to do? There must be a tiebreaker. If there are heaps of guys she can meet, then there is always another guy around the corner, or another guy she is already seeing a bit. So chemistry is the tiebreaker.

If she were in a world of dating famine, she might be more likely to let things play out with any guy she meets. But this site is a close model of a free market economy. If she is in demand, then she can choose, and maybe often there aren't hard reasons to knobble someone at the first or second date level, so why not go with the visceral emotions felt upon first meeting? If demand is high enough, she doesn't even need to have felt her desired level of spark with any of the guys she has met, because other guys are close around the corner. So, enter chemistry as the needed principle that decides between candidates.

Thinking of things in this way makes a "rejected" guy have more understanding. If he is living in a famine, he can hardly expect those living in a feast to act as he does. And if roles were reversed, and he was living in a feast, perhaps he would act the same way.

So, for those who think I am too clinical about this whole business, what with experiments, and so on, here is an example of how thinking about the process logically can lead to better understanding, and sympathy, with others. A dude who didn't take any time to think about what it is like to be the other person, and try and reason it out, would be more negative about the whole chemistry thing, more likely to brand women as trivial, and more judgemental of the women who have moved on to greener pastures

Posted by: featherlessbiped at October 13, 2008 7:45 PM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 13, 2008 5:19 PM
"OBD. Pardon? Several women have commented on the veracity of what I've said about alpha male behaviour. I cannot comment on your parents relationship but I will say there are many couples in a commitment-only or obligation relationship because a beta male is supine to a mate who has had her way. She doesn't respects him, he cannot respect himself because he is a doormat and his mates know it. Alpha males are leaders because they have the qualities females respect, admire and want to pass to their young, not despite them."

There is a difference between being a doormat and pumping through all that crap in those quotes you pulled from "16 paths to poon", or whatever it was.

It's not, either I do all this s*it, or I am finished and will be a doormat. I think you concentrate too much on male evolution, dividing them into alphas and betas, while viewing women, evolutionarily speaking, as one undifferentiated mess that are all the same.

Honestly, if I have to spend 24 hours a day monitoring my behaviour to make sure that it is alpha enough, and measuring every interaction I have with my girlfriend/partner, or whatever, then I'd rather be single. Because there are much more worthwhile things to do with my time.

Posted by: featherlessbiped at October 13, 2008 7:23 PM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 13, 2008 5:19 PM:

So I'm not clear that you actually addressed any of the points I made, which proposed an evolutionary model counter to the one you seem to be pushing all the time, which is telling men that they have to follow this alpha path, because it is their genetic inheritance. It seems more probable, as far as I can see, that other traits, apart from alpha ones, were selected for, and for good reason. Of course, this also means that some women were involved in selecting for these traits.

I'm sure alpha males were selected in the past, but (going along with your preferred terminology) betas were also selected. Really, it's a stupid dichotomy anyway. Lots of reckless alphas in the past were tempered by what in your terminology would be beta advisors who pulled the strings, were more cautious and considered, etc., and kept them in line. If you want to redefine everything so that these betas were actually alphas, then you'll also have to reconsider the personality details of the alpha stereotype you are pushing.

Anyway, your whole premise that alphas can be beta-ised suggests that social conditioning, reflective thought, and so on, play an important role in what sort of person we end up being. That means that none of us are *forced* as result of genetic inheritance, to fulfill some role played out on the plains thousands of years ago.

Evolution also gave us a brain, and thus, we can overcome some of our baser impulses. If every man were forced into this alpha mode, there'd be much less good art, music and so on, that we have all come to enjoy.

I'd be curious to know how much of this you actually believe, and how much is just idle pot-stirring.

Posted by: featherlessbiped at October 13, 2008 7:16 PM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 13, 2008 5:19 PM

"Alpha males are leaders because they have the qualities females respect, admire and want to pass to their young, not despite them."....... What you described marcus was not being an Alpha male, rather an imposter...... and while it may work for that ephemeral moment of pleasure, you will be found out....... what you are talking about is "fake it till you make it", ..... and is the very definition of arrogance (look it up)... being arrogant is not confidence nor, as many have stated, is it attractive (in either sex) ..... has it ever occurred to you to that man is not synonymous misogynist...... I am sure it has marcus, but that wouldn't get you half as much notoriety!!!!!! Then who would stroke your ego??

Posted by: spanky668 at October 13, 2008 7:08 PM

moth eaten?...mangey comes to mind. Usually attributed to being unkempt and uncared for.

Probably happens to alpha types who left the lifebouy soap for their hygeine conscious partners.

Posted by: aquamanda56 at October 13, 2008 7:03 PM

Btw, for those who are interested, a bit more Science: Darwin said it is sexual selection that produces the huge variety of life around us...if animals were all going for the mate with the "best" genes, there would be a lot more uniformity than there is. We don't go for the best mate, we go for the prettiest, and our offspring are lumbered with all the other genetic baggage that comes with that. But this doesn't kill them ...most animals and plants survive until they reproduce anyway, thus continuing the huge variety of life on the planet. Here endeth the science lesson.

Posted by: waterbombe at October 13, 2008 6:52 PM

Another thing, Marcus. When you encourage men to act in a superior dominating way in a relationship, you are actually doing real damage. Some women are attracted to men like this, but it is because they have been abused. They have lost the healthy self-protective boundaries that a woman has if she has not been abused as a child. You will certainly attract submissive women with the approach you recommended, but for a very different reason than the one you give, and I think you ought to question your own moral stance on this. There is no excuse for a man in this day and age to be unaware of the effect of sexual violence perpetrated on children, and its effects on their choice of partner in later years. There is plenty of literature around should you care to find it. Pop into your local library and ask them to recommend something for you.

If you want to provide us with something of entertainment value, good...but stay away from the "dominant male/submissive female is good" message, because you are doing a great deal more harm than I think you realise.

Posted by: waterbombe at October 13, 2008 6:51 PM

Marcus, you really have to brush up on your evolutionary theory, (as well as your gender relations, but we'll leave that to another time). Let's deal with your shortfall in understanding Darwin's ideas first.
Darwin claimed there were two forms of selection...you seem to be aware of natural selection but you seem totally unware of sexual selection (surprising for a man so focussed on sex that he alters his personality in order to get a woman).

What is sexual selection? It is demonstrated when a female consents to have sex with the most visually appealing male, the one most attractive to her. That is the gaudiest butterfly or the most colourful peacock, etc. This may not be the male with the best genes. In fact Darwin said animals and humans have no idea about natural selection when they choose a mate...instead, they are operating under the influence of sexual selection...that is, they are tring to bonk the best looker, not the one with the best genes.

So when we choose mates, sexual selection is operating, not natural slection. Sexual selection produces many and varied life forms...most of which live not only long enough to reproduce...but also long enough to live happily ever after. To put it in a nutshell for you: Natural selection operates over millenia, not in individual lifetimes. Sexual slection dictates the choice of a partner in an individual lifetime. It isn't disastrous...the offspring don't usually die ...in fact they grow up, mate, and add to the diversity in the gene pool.

This explains, ladies, why we go for the good looking b**stds against our own judgement...it's that sexual selection thing operating. We have no interest in who has the best genes...and it is not a factor in our decision to have sex. When we choose a sexual partner we are under the influence of desire/lust/sexual selection.

If guys attempt to act like alpha males to attract women because they believe women want to have the most genetically fit offspring, they are barking up the wrong tree. Women will choose a mate out of sexual selection, not natural selection....so Marcus, stop striding around refusing to say you're sorry and flirting with Number 2 in order to get more sex from Number 1. Instead, make a booking at your local tanning salon, purchase a pair of green contact lenses, jazz up a bit of a hair style, do some weights and lose the tummy and you'll attract more women than you dreamed possible. Whether they'll stay or not is another matter...that will depend on whether you revise your attitudes to gender relations. But we'll deal with that later.

Posted by: waterbombe at October 13, 2008 6:40 PM

Or perhaps our lovable rogue will redeem himself and become a family man, only problem is by the time he finds one suitable enough to produce good looking, effective offspring, he will be Hugh Hefner like and unable to meet the challenge...

Posted by: aqueousdb66 at October 13, 2008 6:34 PM

Not my criteria as I have both, seems to be your only criteria in a 'partner'.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 6:32 PM

OBD, perhaps Marcus is the lone wolf, the rogue male that is destined to roam the plains searching, causing unrest between male and female, slowly becoming older and moth eaten...

Posted by: aqueousdb66 at October 13, 2008 6:20 PM

Hi all. No, Marcus (11.41am), I'm afraid I have to leave your anthropometric curiosity unsatisfied, for reasons that kurli would be happy to explain to you rather dramatically if you've forgotten already, and which Greg and Troy reminded me about at 12.51pm and 1.38pm. (Thanks, fellers. You're good mates.)

Suffice it to say that she liked my profile (especially "those naughty eyes") and didn't muck around with an RSVP kiss - just fired off the initial email that got things started, a month or so ago.

And no econometric statistics for you either, Perthie. ("Apparently size or temperament have little to do with it, income and own house is the criteria." 2:43 PM) Or should that read 'are the criteria'?

The really good omens for me are that she's content for me to come to visit only a couple of times a week (which suits my heavy workload, and my need to work at my own base almost every weekday), and she and I have exactly the same agendas for a relationship, which I raved about on here, a couple of months ago.

PS: Starry's new bloke sounds very suitable too, from what she told me, and I wish them joy as well.

Cheap steak night tonight at my nearby Club, so I'm off now to get my strength up. Seeyez.

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 13, 2008 6:19 PM

Drone, most men are beta or lesser-beta
Our current social organisation seems based around the idea of beta providers and women secretly, or otherwise lusting after the small percentage of alphas. These males in time gone by were the leaders of the clans and for good reason women selected them so that their admirable alpha survival and reproducibility traits would be passed, along with the woman's genes, to good looking, effective offspring. For these vital reasons hey had most of the matings.
For entertainment value here I am talking about a narrowed context focussing on male sexuality. For most guys important lessons are learnt by observing, or learning about alpha behaviour or conversely in some circumstances learning what not to do by observing non alpha.

OBD. Pardon? Several women have commented on the veracity of what I've said about alpha male behaviour. I cannot comment on your parents relationship but I will say there are many couples in a commitment-only or obligation relationship because a beta male is supine to a mate who has had her way. She doesn't respects him, he cannot respect himself because he is a doormat and his mates know it. Alpha males are leaders because they have the qualities females respect, admire and want to pass to their young, not despite them.

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 13, 2008 5:19 PM

MMmmm Lifebouy soap ... it was watermelon coloured and very stringent on the skin .. not a favourite at our place. Mum mostly washed us with sunlight soap .. in the laundry trough after she did the washing! Later we graduated to Cashmere Boquet .. Dad used Palmolive (Solvol for his hands) and our hair was always washed with Halo shampoo.
Thought I might as well waffle on about soap ... it's as much on topic as anything else at the moment LOL
But on Topic .. if books help .. why not ?? Better than those who keep making the same mistakes over and over ... or try to fix the next relationship with things that would have been better put to use in the previous one .. while they were still there!

Posted by: waternymph47 at October 13, 2008 4:32 PM

outbackdrifter at October 13, 2008 2:16 PM . The really scary part obd is that happy may have posted tongue in cheek but was actually being serious.

Posted by: blueyedblond at October 13, 2008 4:15 PM

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 2:36 PM

Stop talking sense perth, you're freaking me out!!!! :-)

Posted by: troyohboy at October 13, 2008 3:59 PM

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 13, 2008 2:06 PM

Ya get et wrang obd em a let slow end en gawd cumpney seems.

Posted by: troyohboy at October 13, 2008 3:46 PM

Drifter "what about beyond being friends ?, we're talking about relationships, living together not being a mate"....I wouldn't have a clue because I am eleven years out of practice! How can I know what MEN are like as a living together relationship? I can tell you what it was like with my MAN but not mEn, cos I actually haven't lived in such relationships wiht lots of men....:)

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at October 13, 2008 2:57 PM

Apparently size or temperament have little to do with it, income and own house is the criteria.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 2:43 PM

But isn't it about two individuals with their own thought patterns and desires having common enough ground to come together in a partnership. Isn't a partnership based on mutual respect and not on dominance. That is all I am trying to say. I mean surely you don't have to agree with everything a person says and have a falling out, why not just agree to disagree and celebrate the difference.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 2:36 PM

Posted by: ahappyending at October 13, 2008 1:46 PM

sometimes you really scare me with what you post LOL :))))

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 13, 2008 2:16 PM

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 1:43 PM

Perth, I do understand what you getting at about man thing woman thing, what will seem to be forgetting we are forget here is it about a partnership, yes its about individuals but it's also about a partnership

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 13, 2008 2:13 PM

Posted by: troyohboy at October 13, 2008 1:38 PM

well Tray I always figured you were a little slow and a little bit of a stirrer to boot

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 13, 2008 2:06 PM

oh, typo.
"I will give you a massage first, my master." Not a message. lol......

Posted by: ahappyending at October 13, 2008 1:57 PM

Oh, the sandpit is here today. Hi, everyone, hope you are all having a very pleasant day.

Here is the perfect woman every man dreams of. I am learning to be one. :0)

The woman phones her man, and he answers: “Don’t you know I am very busy? I will call you whenever I can.” And the woman: “Ok, dear”……

Now, it’s dinnertime. The dear man comes home. The woman runs to open the door, “How was your day, my dear Master? You must be very tired. Sit down, my master. I’ll get you your slippers.” “Your tea, my master, very hot, wait, I give you a message first.”………

After dinner. “Go sit down and watch TV, my master. Don’t worry about the wash-up. You are too tired. I’ll do it.”

And now, the weekend. The dear man, waken up by the aroma of bacon and eggs, opens his eyes, meeting the beaming face of his woman, “Breakfast is ready, my master.” “Ok.”

After breakfast, “Do you have any plans today, if not, I will have to meet up with my mates” the dear man asks. “No, no, dear, I just need to do some washing and cleaning, and after that, I will just need to buy some groceries for the week. Go, dear.” “Ok, you know I hate shopping and all that crowd”. “Yes, yes, I know, dear. Not to worry. Just go and enjoy yourself. You need it, after a busy week.”

Now, 5 pm on one of the weekday. “Oh, sh..t, all the mates have dates. Well, spend some time with the woman, then.” So, the dear man phones, “It’s me. Let’s go see a movie.” “But…., oh, ok, dear.” “Meet me at…. At 6pm.” “Ok, dear”.

See, very easy to be the perfect woman of your man. Oh, also, remember always dress very nicely and femininely. And high heels when going out. Speak very softly. No “no” to your dear man. And smile all the time. Lol……….

Posted by: ahappyending at October 13, 2008 1:46 PM

I know it was a general statement outback and mine was a general answer and didn't come out the way I meant on the blogs. I think one of the things today is that individuals are spoken of 'men think...' women think....and people seem to be lumped into categories instead of individuals. I am of the belief, well for me at least that when I meet someone I need to keep an open mind and work out what do I like about that person. Starting off with a friendship is great I think and then if something gows from that it's great. I can't imagine looking at a stranger and basing any further contact with that person on whether I want to have sex with him. Sure I can think the person is very attractive, very interesting, has nice mannerisms, whatever but to go from hello to sex seems ridiculous for me. I think both women and men are far too aggressive at times nowadays trying to beat each other to the punch. I think everyone should just chill a bit and get to know the other person first and then move onto the next stage. And, of course, the world revolves around me, Boofer told me so!

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 1:43 PM

Please leave TW alone. The temptation will become too great and all will be revealed, in graphic detail anon.

OBD, I generally agree with you re: perth, however I don't know how you construed it from the most recent posts which, like so many of them, leave me sctratching my head and pondering......huh?

Marcus......love your work hehe.

Troy

Posted by: troyohboy at October 13, 2008 1:38 PM

Dr Eric Berne incidentally played the ultimate game and topped himself.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 1:36 PM

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at October 13, 2008 12:43 PM

"As a woman I don't think all men are bastards at all, in fact, I find men as friends are just great"

what about beyond being friends ?, we're talking about relationships, living together not being a mate

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 13, 2008 1:27 PM

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 12:33 PM

" I don't think that all men are bastards outback and I don't like to be lumped into the 'women' category like I don't have a mind of my own. "

Perth it was meant as a general statement and reply to Marcus, and so make it as a personal attack on yourself, the whole world does not revolve round you.

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 13, 2008 1:24 PM

Timewarp, glad to hear you are "currently romantically involved" May I suggest this time that despite requests from Marcus, that you do not publish details of your new romance on the blogs.

Being shot out of the sky and going down a flamer whilst always a marvellous blogging spectacle is not in your best long term emotional interests (or hers perhaps).

I am genuinely pleased for you that your financial situation has improved. However, I dont think you should change your "half price chook" purchasing strategy just yet.

Should your new romance get the the situation where some statistical milestone is reached please do let us know as it will be useful in formulating various mathematical models of RSVP behavior eg kisses sent vs first 2 hour dates accomplished vs bonks achieved etc.

Not only will this data be of use to FP but more importantly, it will enable Marcus to determine what size and whether half full/half empty his spermatozoa gerry can should be
rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at October 13, 2008 12:51 PM

As a woman I don't think all men are bastards at all, in fact, I find men as friends are just great. And I agree with Perth than there are many women around, seems especially so now, who are shallow and using and difficult. Marcus stands out because he is so much in the extremes of the archetypal obnoxious guy. I like men, as people. love sitting and chatting with them, find them amazingly pleasing company and feel very happy around a good man - and there really are more good men than bad men around.

Men are cautious of being labelled, have seen how that has done damage with parents and in the past. Men have become complicated because they aren't cardboard cutout figures of gender roles anymore...and personally, I embrace that complication and really enjoy it. Men are good company.

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at October 13, 2008 12:43 PM

I think I remember Lifebuoy Soap, although I think my mum used to use it for washing clothes. I think the emblem had a duck sitting on a lifebuoy with a little cap on his head. If I remember correctly it had a very strong smell, but hey, it was pure soap and rather like sunlight soap today. I use Sunlight soap thru my woollens when I pack them away for the summer and it works beautifully to repel moths and smells much better than anything else. I remember Wrights Coal Tar when we were growing up and that was for 'the men' of the house. I still always use Pears Transparent, wow this is bringing back some memories, thanks Marcus.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 12:43 PM

Male, 72, divorced, Brisbane, currently romantically involved.)
Posted by: timewarp1 at October 13, 2008 10:36 AM

Ooohhhhh "Romantically Involved"...TW do tell !!!

There must be something in the Brisbane water...because StarrySuprizes (as Marcus affectionately calls me) is romantically involved as well !!! I don't like the word involved ...not just yet. We have opted for the term "Partners in Crime" for now, as it's all just a bit of fun at this stage...LOL

In fact TW.. some of our beloved Social Group, met him on Friday night...and he fit right in ;)

*Starry getting on the phone to call TW to find out all the goss*

Posted by: starryeyez at October 13, 2008 12:40 PM

I don't think that all men are bastards outback and I don't like to be lumped into the 'women' category like I don't have a mind of my own. The way that women, not all, but quite a few are behaving nowadays they bring it on themselves. Let me say, not all, but there are quite a few who like to behave like men in public and then they get treated like men and they start yelling that men are bastards. I think that men can be at times to other men and therein lies the dilemma.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 12:33 PM

It is an interesting topic Marcus. Being 58 and a baby boomer I have seen with interest the evolution of this so called equality. It seems to be that what is being produced at the moment is a sameness between the sexes. Women at times are behaving extremely badly, getting totally drunk, screwing around, foul language, falling in the gutter. Unfortunately the young women today don't seem to have the mateship bonds that most of the guys do. Ask a young female why she does it, and they will answer because that is what the guys have always done to us. Well yes, but duh!!! I don't think that a lot of men know where they are at the moment. I tend to believe that being dominant in a relationship is not a gender issue and if both are behaving in that manner you are going to have problems. I don't see many particularly feminine younger or older women where I work but there are a lot of very gentlemanly males. So far I guess I am very lucky as I haven't met these over domineering liars or b's that some women have. I have met a lot of very badly behaved women though who say shocking things about their partners in open company and in a very vengeful way. I honestly don't think that most guys what is expected of them nowadays and they do anything to avoid confrontations. Soap is a given Marcus, male or female. I do not think there can be too many excuses for stinking nowadays, male or female unless, of course, you are working in stables all day or the garden and are about to have a shower, then to me that's a really healthy smell.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 12:31 PM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 13, 2008 11:41 AM

L&T, why does there has to be an alpha anything, last time I checked the relationship was a partnership not a game of domination

and just for all of you who like to quote Wolfpack/ alpha behaviour I would go back and have a look, first up is not an alpha male it's usually a female secondly is not just a game of domination versus submissive, there is alot more to it, to the pack family is everything...........its what make or brakes the pack as a whole

it's a blueprint for social interaction and where all members of the pack contribute to the pack, then the pack itself prospers as a single entity.

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 13, 2008 12:21 PM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 12, 2008 12:28 PM

Marcus, on the most sacred day of the year how could you have wasted your time with a posting? Whilst the Sermon on the Mount was being delivered why were you rattling your keyboard with utterances of relevance only to those whose attentions were correctly focussed elsewhere?

I do think an apology is warranted although not for the reasons suggested by Lynath.

Of course if you intention was to attract the notice of the girls in the kindergarten while the boys were elsewhere you certainly succeeded.
rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at October 13, 2008 12:15 PM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 13, 2008 11:41 AM:

OK, but this "There is one evolutionary template for men, and one for women, and hence, that all men are really thus and so, and all women are really thus and so" view doesn't really stack up.

For instance, why should there not be a number of successful reproductive strategies? Surely, if you are running an evolutionary story, and given that there are evolutionary factors that come into play from the organisation of humans into societies, this more complex story makes more sense.

Your story seems to be just that men are naturally alpha, (presumably because all the non-alphas were weeded out) and that, therefore, the existence of non-alpha males shows that these poor blokes have been conditioned out of their natural inheritance.

But this seems less plausible than the idea that societies, being complex entities, need different personality-types to fill different roles, and thus, since a strong society enhances the survivability of its members, there will be quite a range of different personalities and temperaments within each sex that were selected for.

If every guy was some sort of alpha action-man who had to be boss, we'd probably all be dead by now, or still roaming the plains in very small units of 10-15 people. Sure, those alphas that you love have a role to play in a functioning society, but other roles are also required, and were most likely selected for.

Posted by: featherlessbiped at October 13, 2008 12:13 PM

Thanks Marcus, all you've done is reconfirmed to the women on this blog that all men are bastards and not to be trusted.

That's the really great mate you've just made it so much harder for the rest of us.

My father was like you, treated my mother exactly like you described, what a bastard he was

Posted by: outbackdrifter at October 13, 2008 11:45 AM

Warped..
Currently Involved. Hmm. You've struck again. So, old son, anyone we know from the bloggies or the site? If not, what about a bit of demographic info; Bust/waist/ size even?

Poochesinperth.
When I was lifting the lino in my house prior to doing the floorboards I discovered an old newspaper or two. One, from 1947, had a 1/2 page advertisement for Lifebuoy Toilet Soap that had the handsome husband and new father ready to leave his wife: until she used Lifebuoy 'The ONE soap specially made to stop "B.O." that is. That add was adopted the classic theme that still plays to this day making women who are for evolutionary reasons more hygeine conscious than men guilty about their own and their homes.
I framed that add and have it hanging.
In the same way that the advertising industry works women over about cleanliness and hygeine- you need a special disinfectant in a duck for the dunny- male are being subtley reworked and our sexuality is being feminised. As Starry alludes this can end up confusing both genders. Predictably, as a greater understanding, awareness and utilisation of alpha male sexual psychology becomes apparent it causes consternation. Nary a batted eyelid at female relationship self help though and much of it flogged on RSVP. More to come on this interesting topic..

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 13, 2008 11:41 AM

Shame don't you think FB that one person feels they need to dominate another to have their needs met. They must live in such fear of having another person touch their lives in any way shape or form. I always remember the saying that 'there is no stronger unless there is a weaker'. Why would it make another person feel good because they are dominating someone weaker than them. It's like someone constantly putting other people down and saying dreadful things in the hope they are going to make themselves look better. It's so sad, they are such weak people.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 11:23 AM

Welcome to Fifi la Fume and Implacable, and congratulations to you both on your totally inyerface profiles.

What challenges for real men! If only I was younger and lived elsewhere and wasn't currently involved ....
..............................................................

And thank you Marcus for chapter 2 of "How to keep her barefoot, pregnant and insecure."

All the wimp males will be cheering that escalating piece of power-drunk fantasy.

I keep being reminded of Dr Eric Berne's definition of the "Games People Play" - "Attempts to experience emotion, but guard against intimacy."

The next best thing to the joy of unselfish togetherness, but about 20 miles behind it.

(Male, 72, divorced, Brisbane, currently romantically involved.)

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 13, 2008 10:36 AM

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 10:02 AM:
Actually, I googled it, and it's from a seduction site.

I actually think that a man, probably up to the age of 35, could get to sleep with a lot more women than otherwise if he follows these rules, and goes down the "irrational self-confidence", never apologise, don't answer direct questions, I'm always right, etc. etc. route.

What you end up with, though, by being like this, is a husk of a person, completely subservient to women (because doing all of this stuff is in the service of getting with more women).

But there is *some* truth in all of this advice... that's why these player-communities are flourishing.

In the end, though, if all this deceiving/managing stuff, and pretending that you are "the man" all the time is really necessary, then forget it.

I'd rather go to bed alone each night; Marcus can keep his hundreds of women that he's pleasured.

Posted by: featherlessbiped at October 13, 2008 10:22 AM

The entire post strikes me as being borne of cowardness and fear, rather a strike before they can strike attitude. Be always ready and alert to manipulate and defend because you are dealing with the enemy and you are scared. I don't think it is a post from a confidence person who enjoys life at all. Shame really. As I said earlier though I believe Marcus is just stirring the pot again.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 10:21 AM

Oh Elf, shock, horror!!!! Now if I had said that a little while ago............. Good on you, enjoy yourself and most of all be true to yourself. I think that is a most attractive quality in anyone when they are true to themselves, when they are who they are, warts and all. It is an honestly and openness which is a very attractive quality in a person.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 10:17 AM

Not sure why you directed your last tome to me, Marcus. I would have only one response to a guy behaving as you advise - Get Lost. You describe immature and incompetent game players, who are easy to pick so also easy to avoid. I am more drawn towards a man who has the maturity to address relationship interactions more open and honestly, which is harder work and far more significant.

Men as easy to walk away from on the initial stage of contact, Marcus, and anyone behaving as you suggest would simply get a cold shoulder from me...how can the thought of a man turning ANOTHER woman on be a turn on? I prefer a man to be turning me on...

And I really don't respect women who allow themselves to be treated like that and get drawn in by such obvious games (I'm sounding like Perth!).

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at October 13, 2008 10:03 AM

Marcus is only stirring and you are all biting. What he is writing sounds like something out of a 1950's Good Housekeeping Manual. "Always meet your husband at the door with a smile", put out his slippers when he comes home. He's just have a laugh with you all.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 10:02 AM

For sure WN, I agree entirely. What I was meaning is if you are with a person who is a compulsive liar and uses this method often. I can't see the point of getting into more and more discussions as they will only lie anyway. And yes, in the initial stages of anything really there are usually so many learning curves and misunderstandings. Although I try to steer very clear of 'rules and regulations' that some people seem to have to define themselves. I don't like rules being imposed on me therefore I try not to impose them on other people. I am a very on time person and I like the other person to be or at least give me a call, but apart from that I can go out in a heartbeat, or have people home without notice. I don't like the feeling of having lots of rules imposed on me according to someone elses standards, have enough of that at work I suppose.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 13, 2008 10:00 AM

Marcus I thouroughly enjoyed your list

Quite a bit of truth there. I am woman enough to admit it....but also powerful and confident enough to say, you could switch the gender roles in those 6 points and apply it in reverse ;)

Posted by: starryeyez at October 13, 2008 9:54 AM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 12, 2008 12:28 PM:
"3. No matter what your station in life, stride through the world without apology or excuse. It does not matter if objectively you are not the best man a woman can get; what matters is that you think and act like you are. Women have a dog’s instinct for uncovering weakness in men; don’t make it easy for them. Self-confidence, warranted or not, triggers submissive emotional responses in women. Irrational self-confidence will get you more pussy than rational defeatism."

The problem (for me, anyway) with this and your Point 2, is that the price is just too high. Point 2 says to focus on developing your strengths in order to attract women. So, regardless of whether I am interested in something, if I'm better at it than something else I'm more interested in, I should focus on that first thing *just because* of women...

Point 3... stride through life without apology and excuse... Again, it seems to me that the price of having this attitude, and thereby having some mindless "self-confidence" is too high, if the reason to do this is *just because* of women. And if you start striding through life without apology and excuse, even your mates will probably start to think you are a wanker.

So, although your post sounds like it is putting forth a strong, "manly" view of the world, it strikes me that it actually reeks of submission and desperation, in that, all these behaviours and attitudes have to be inculcated *just because* of some obsession with being attractive to women.

Posted by: featherlessbiped at October 13, 2008 9:49 AM

For Amber ;-} and Esprit. :-]

Mainly Men.
4. Make her jealous
Flirt with other women in front of her. Do not dissuade other women from flirting with you. Women will never admit this but jealousy excites them. The thought of you turning on another woman will arouse her sexually. No girl wants a man that no other woman wants.

5 True to their inscrutable natures, women ask questions they don’t really want direct answers to. Woe be the man who plays it straight — his fate is the suffering of the beta. Evade, tease, obfuscate. She thrives when she has to imagine what you’re thinking about her, and withers when she knows exactly how you feel. A woman may want financial and family security, but she does not want passion security. In the same manner, when she has displeased you, punish swiftly, but when she has done you right, reward slowly. Reward her good behavior intermittently and unpredictably and she will never tire of working hard to please you.

6. Never allow yourself to be a “kept man”. A man with options is a man without need. It builds confidence and encourages boldness with women if there is another woman, a safety net, to catch you in case you slip and risk a breakup, divorce, or a lost prospect, leading to loneliness and a dry spell. A woman knows once she has slept with a man she has abdicated a measure of her power; when she has fallen in love with him she has surrendered nearly all of it. But love is ephemeral and with time she may rediscover her power and threaten to leave you. It is her final trump card. Withdrawing all her love and all her body in an instant will rend your soul if you are faced with contemplating the empty abyss alone. Knowing there is another you can turn to for affection will fortify your will and satisfy your manhood.

Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 13, 2008 9:30 AM

BTW, thank you so much Timewarp for your lovely compliment. Although I am not sure the word "wise" is actually warranted! I am still learning so much about life, sometimes I am amazed at how little I really do know.

Posted by: amberlight58 at October 13, 2008 1:05 AM

Kaz, so true!
Sorry is such an empty word, especially when the person just keeps on doing the same things that hurt you over and over again!
The word "sorry" means absolutely nothing unless the person who says it, means it and then actually proves it, by at least trying to modify their hurtful behaviour or changing their attitude.

Marcus @ 12:28 PM: You love stirring things up, don't you?
Where did you bootleg this priceless bit of advice from, the pages of the "Confirmed Bachelors Manual"?
Actually Marcus, I do believe your problem is you're actually very afraid of intimacy with a woman, so you just keep going on and on about how women are only as good as their "use by date" and all the other derogatory stuff you repeat over and over again.
This may make you a hero to all those men like you, who are too frightened to grow up and have a real relationship with a woman, but there are actually men out there who aren't afraid of love and intimacy and don't feel the need to put women and loving relationships with women, down all the time.
You might have slept with "hundreds" of "needy and desperate" women Marcus (I believe you stated that quite a few months ago) but what you really know about women would fit onto a postage stamp!

Posted by: amberlight58 at October 13, 2008 12:57 AM

...."a fresh shipment of far-fetched baloney"... spot on!!!
I would recommend everyone to take a good cold hard look in the mirror!

Posted by: riversong01 at October 12, 2008 9:59 PM

"Love means never having to say you're sorry." as the movie says.

I completely disagree, we all do/say things we wish we could retract at times. Depends how sincere the "sorry" is. There are a few situations in my life were "sorry" was not enough, I wish I dould have made it "umhappen" and in some instances I did not have the chance to say "sorry".

Posted by: tabata at October 12, 2008 9:23 PM

regarding Marcus' recent post.

Point 1...would depend on the significance of the "crime" commited wouldn't it?
I agree that an acknowledgement may be all that is necessary. I can't think of anything worse than having someone apologise all the time. Is there some sort of underlying power or sexual aspect attached? eg the male(we'll call him Pavlov) learns that if he apologises he gets a big reward?Or is she into domination?

Point 2 is very good advice for either males or females in the effort to attract a partner.
Develop your best aspect which gives you self confidence and makes you far more attractive. A handsome or pretty face does not necessarily guarantee a long lasting relationship if it is attached to a one dimensional person. This talent quest aspect works particularly well in real life situations. If you fall in love with someone because they make you laugh or can dance or sing or sail or whatever then what they look like will be even more attractive.

Point 3. I have to agree again with Marcus that self confidence is very attractive.However this is not the same as arrogance and bad manners or riding rough shod over everyone you meet.

I love that feeling of being "protected" by a confident man....which causes me great anguish as I cannot bring myself to play the dependent little woman....
I am independent but would find it a big turn off to be the one doing the "protection" in a relationship.

Now Marcus I demand an apology for your demeaning of women in that last sentence, and I also want you to say sorry for saying that"No matter what your station in life" and "It does not matter if objectively you are not the best man a woman can get; what matters is that .." as I wonder in whose opinion one person is lesser than another.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 12, 2008 8:25 PM

Love means never having to say you're sorry (Love Story)
Love means having to say you're sorry every fifteen minutes (john Lennon)

Well! looks like a blog topic.

I noticed that there is quite a bit of discussion on the internet on this topic and some hilarious and some sad interpretations of both ideas including

"nobody believes in love anymore!"

"Somebody will always be sorry for something"

"Sometimes you have to say it even if you know that you're in the right because having peace in your relationship is more important than your pride and being right."

." . . . and without hesitation."

"well it was a line in "love Story"short marriage as she died of cancer"

"Yeah, and I loved the movie... and unless my better half is going to pass away within a week or two after I meet them, chances are pretty good I'm going to have to apologize for something"

and my personal favourite so far..Ta Da!

"it means not warning the girl right before you reach your climax"

I think the answer lies somewhere in the middle.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 12, 2008 7:57 PM

Scary - I just read Marcus's profile and he seems so reasonable! Can't find anywhere where it says "looking for short term sexual relationship with 'submissive' woman". I expect a fair few women have felt gypped once they found out the truth....

Posted by: implacable at October 12, 2008 7:50 PM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 12, 2008 12:28 PM

What, Marcus, no mention of sperm count??
Darl l am disappointed in you, nay crushed that your signature comment has been left out!!!

You know, you really need that smack, it may bring you into the 21st century.....heck it may even turn you into a snag. Long as it doesn't turn you into a pussy darl..........K

Posted by: auntykaz at October 12, 2008 6:38 PM

guitarguy at October 9, 2008 10:09 AM ... Good for you for realising that we all have a thing or 2 to learn and although the next relationship can not neccessarily be improved by what you learnt in the last .. It's always good to be aware!
Each person each relationship is new and different ..I believe most things can be sorted with honesty and clear communication. When you stop communicating the relationship is in trouble!

I disagree Perthi .. saying sorry .. sometimes even when you were not entirely in the wrong is never a bad thing. If it happens too often I might agree with you .. but in the first learning phase of any relationship it is fairly normal to get things wrong now and then and apolgising is a step towards fixing the problems!

Posted by: waternymph47 at October 12, 2008 6:02 PM

Dear me Marcus, looks like you are in trouble again.
Colleen

Posted by: fifilafume at October 12, 2008 5:34 PM

Hi Beb, I find the best way to deal with liars and cheats is, of course, not get involved with them in the first place. However, if you have unhappily done that Walk Away fast! There is no way I would want to get into an argument with a liar, after all what is the point, they will just lie. There would be no way I would want to be with a liar or a cheat as I find them extremely pathetic so you just walk away and make a commitment to make your own life as succesful as possible. Some people thrive on drama, they lie, she yells or vica versa they make up, it's all lovey dovey and then again and again, like an old clothes dryer gound around and around. What a total waste of time and time is moving on for all of us.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 12, 2008 5:23 PM

Sorry, apology, whatever, here is my take on it......
People usually say sorry when they have been sprung doing something they shouldn't.
They know they shouldn't but do anyway.
They think saying sorry makes it all go away and everything is once more okay.

Unless it is a case of being in the wrong unwittingly, in wich case an apology is perfectly acceptable, the word "sorry" is just that.
An empty word that means nothing.......
And a disclaimer from me too. This is just my opinion, formed by a few people in the course of my life who are now thankfully no longer in it..
No animal was harmed in the production of this comment....................K

Posted by: auntykaz at October 12, 2008 4:34 PM

Well, that's good advice for the boys who just want pussy, Marcus. But for the grown-up men who want a relationship with an adult woman, instead of a series of casual encounters throughout their lives, it's very poor advice. But you wouldn't know about that, because as you have said in so many of your posts, you are focussed only on collecting pussies. Which is very odd for someone who dislikes cats so much. Have you ever considered your attitude to cats may be connected, in a Freudian sort of way, with your attitude to pussies?

Posted by: waterbombe at October 12, 2008 4:30 PM

I must be missing the point entirely with the last two posts. You are saying that irrational self confidence pulls more women in for casual sex but have been on a dating site for more than 9 years, umm, okay so I guess that could work. And then we have the other comment re self help books and the immense learning that can be gleaned from every new one that comes on the market and yet the writer by his own admission has nothing in the way of financial security and seems totally unable to form a lasting relationship. If these are the benefits for these mindsets I think I may pass and stay in reality with my pets and family and life in general.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 12, 2008 3:07 PM

So, how's that working for you ??? both.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 12, 2008 2:56 PM

laughsandtalks at October 12, 2008 12:28 PM. Thank you for confirming what I already knew. I am spot on with my "dogs instinct" and you wonder why we turn like rabid dogs. Don't trust any of you you. You say what you think we want to hear and do what you think will make us happy. Ever thought of being honest and sincere, that is what makes a good relationship.
I am here because my ex was a lieing bastard and I should imagine that is why a lot of you guys are on here. I would like $1 for every porky I have been told in the last 10 years. My radar is on all the time, best policy is trust by actions not words. Marcarse, you always have to make it about them and us??? WHY?

Disclaimer. This was written from my own perspective, not all men are liars and I should imagine some women tell lies too.

Posted by: blueyedblond at October 12, 2008 2:53 PM

Mainly Men.

1. Do not say you’re sorry for every wrong thing you do. It is a posture of submission that no man should reflexively adopt, no matter how ***** he is. Apologizing increases the demand for more apologies. She will come to expect your contrition, like a cat expects its meal at a set time each day. And then your value will lower in her eyes. Instead, if you have done something wrong, you should acknowledge your guilt in a glancing way without resorting to the actual words “I’m sorry.” Pull the Bill Clinton maneuver and say “Mistakes were made” or tell her you “feel bad” about what you did. You are granted two freebie “I’m sorry”s for the life of your relationship; use them wisely.

2. In the betterment of ourselves as men we attract women into our orbit. To accomplish this gravitational pull as painlessly and efficiently as possible, you must identify your natural talents and shortcomings and parcel your efforts accordingly. If you are a gifted jokester, don’t waste time and energy trying to raise your status in philosophical debate. If you write well but dance poorly, don’t kill yourself trying to expand your manly influence on the dancefloor. Your goal should be to attract women effortlessly, so play to your strengths no matter what they are; there is a groupie for every male endeavor.

3. No matter what your station in life, stride through the world without apology or excuse. It does not matter if objectively you are not the best man a woman can get; what matters is that you think and act like you are. Women have a dog’s instinct for uncovering weakness in men; don’t make it easy for them. Self-confidence, warranted or not, triggers submissive emotional responses in women. Irrational self-confidence will get you more pussy than rational defeatism.

Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 12, 2008 12:28 PM

amberlight58 at October 9, 2008 10:42 PM : I always love to read what you say, because you are so wise, and you explain yourself so clearly.
......................................................

Several others have said "same old same old", and I strongly disagree.

Yes of course there's a big overlap between the latest guru's slant on whatever self-help topic she's addressing, from cookery to making money to living happily, and the previous suggestions from the other authors who went before.

Because the more they agree, the more I trust them. That's because a good idea doesn't care who has it OR who transmits it. And the more writers who do, the more people will hear it, and have a chance to benefit from it.

That's because I'm not complacent or smug enough ever to say 'same old same old'.

Instead of that self-satisfied response, I read first for reminders of what I know already, but have probably been neglecting. That's in the hope of bringing me back up to the speed I was at, before,

And I read and welcome even more avidly, anything new that the new author has added on top of the previous scaffolding.

In a word, I don't skim a new book just to persuade myself that I know everything already, thank you very much - I read in the hope of keeping myself up to speed with the latest small developments in some field that is significant to me.
............................................................

Hey, I don't begrudge an author a financial return from putting out a self-help book, any more than I begrudge a medico for diagnosing what ails me, and prescribing what she hopes will fix it.

Especially as the author only charges you once, no matter how often you reread her book and benefit anew.

I see this blog's recent discussion as another example of some people being cross when anyone else ever has a win, and others being happy that anyone else has been rewarded for their contribution to society.

My gran used to say "The tradesman is worthy of his pay" and I'm with her, all the way.

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 12, 2008 11:22 AM

Posted by: amberlight58 at October 9, 2008 10:42 PM
I actually meant that sentence to read:
"Many of us weren't taught the SKILLS we need to live a happy and successful life by our own parents, we need to search them out for ourselves"
(Well it was getting late).

Posted by: amberlight58 at October 10, 2008 7:45 AM

People often learn behaviours and attitudes from those they grow up with, that are not good for either them or the people who love and/or live with them
It might seem okay to them, to disrespect or manipulate their partner with dire consequences for their own relationships, for example, because that is how their parents treated each other.
Yet the person concerned doesn't know any other way of doing things, and is then shocked and amazed when their partner finally has enough and suddenly walks out on them.
It might seem okay to yell and scream at your children and hit them with a belt, because that is what your dad did to you. But today that is no longer seen as acceptable.

A self-help book or television show comes out, with a catchy title such as "How to Have Sex After Marriage" (an actual British television show) and a man living in a dying marriage might decide to watch it.
He learns a few things about women that his father obviously never knew, so could never teach him. He learns that it is not acceptable or good for your relationship to put your wife down all the time. He learns that communication and respect is what makes a marriage work.
He has learned things that he may never have learnt because only "weak people go to counselling".
It may not save his marriage, but it may be enough for him to think about things a little differently when he embarks on a new relationship.

A parent who has only known anger and pain in their own childhood, knows no other way of doing things, but knows they don't want their child to fear them, the way they did their own mother. A television show called "Super Nanny" or a book called "Toddler Taming" (I know an old book but it helped me) is recommended by a friend at playgroup. They read it and learn to at least try a different way of disciplining their own children and feeling better about themselves as a parent in the process.

I have no problem with self-help books. I have used them myself, often. Many of us were not taught the tools we need to live a happy and successful life by our own parents, we need to search them out for ourselves.
If one person, by reading a self-help parent book tries "time-out" instead of belting the daylights out of their child when he/she throws a tantrum like their mother did, or one man decides to really listen to his wife for once, instead of always accusing her of being neurotic like his father did to his own mother, then there has been an improvement in more than one person's life.
And what is wrong with that?

Posted by: amberlight58 at October 9, 2008 10:42 PM

That would be true too, although I am a new initiate in the realm of understanding realtionships after having mine recently desintegrate and then doing lots of reading to understand what went wrong. IF only I knew then what I know now....aahhhhhh!!!

Posted by: guitarguy at October 9, 2008 10:09 AM

Definitely Marcus, I agree but I just think that everytime a new book comes out saying the same old same old it all becomes a little tedious after a while. I really can't comment on most of the self held ones going around at the moment but each of the new best sellers seem to have the same message. I mean a little like dieting, each one is the same, energy in v energy out. My point is why do people keep having to buy new ones to get the same message.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 9, 2008 9:00 AM

If people were instinctiviely on the money with their intuition then the divorce rate would be much lower. Poeple should be educated in relationships and understanding how to communicate and know the different needs men and women have.
It's like any other skill, the more you know the better you do. It's generally poeples failed intuition and then withdrawal from trying that finally destroys love.

Posted by: guitarguy at October 9, 2008 6:36 AM

poochesinperth at October 8, 2008 9:53 PM
Think a bit laterally pooches. Have you ever used a cookbook, gardening reference or a dog care and training manual?
A lot of self help and instruction books are pop psychology. Still, there is much to be learnt about social dynamics especially by men, when it comes to mating and dating. Why not listen and learn what experienced people who see things clearly say?
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 8, 2008 11:30 PM

Why do you need books to tell you what to do. Why can't you rely on your own intiution and rely on things you have learned from friends who are successful in their lives. Why do you need books, where have your senses of adventure and individualism gone. Unbelieveable, what a robotic game playing society. You should always remember that the guy who wrote the original 'games people play' topped himself and ridiculed all the people who read his book as a bunch of losers.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 8, 2008 9:53 PM

The books out there for guys are all pretty much the same. They're written by pickup artists with stupid pet names like Mystery and Game, and are just all about tricking women into bed.
Posted by: misterinbetween at October 7, 2008 8:03 PM

Oh yes the 'Mystery method' I had some guy in a bar try to use that push/pull thing on me once... he was very upset when he turned around after five minutes of studiously ignoring me to find me talking to someone else...

Posted by: moniquen at October 8, 2008 9:19 PM

The books out there for guys are all pretty much the same. They're written by pickup artists with stupid pet names like Mystery and Game, and are just all about tricking women into bed. Call me old fashioned, but there's no satisfaction in that. A woman should be won over with genuine acts and only the best intentions. A true gentleman's aim is to leave a woman feeling good about herself, not using and then losing.

Posted by: misterinbetween at October 7, 2008 8:03 PM

iaminperth at October 1, 2008 8:34 AM: Sorry to be so slow to get back to you. Bin Wurkin.

No. not beer, dear. About 2 a year, now I don't mow my lawn or anyone else's. No spirits. And one glass of red or white, about 3 times a fortnight - usually at dinner dates. Two schooners of lemon, lime and bitters for fuel at a dance. And an average 3 decafs a day.

Problem is I'm what bushies call a "very good doer." Get every scrap of nutrition out of what I eat, and would need a famine now to be as skinny as I was at 9, when I spent 2 hours a day helping my dog chase rabbits, and most of 4 hours a day walking the milch cow to the far creek and back each afternoon, because the homestead dam had dried up in the drought.

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 5, 2008 1:43 PM

No, just for company, she is just a pet and tags along. Cott beach has a good cafe where you can sit outside overlooking the waves. South Freo also have a great place. Napoleon Street in Cottesloe is another, Floreat Beach, outside of course. I'm not sure about Trigg, but I think you can. No, she's a big friendly dog and loves people and loves a walk so we go to the beach and she can have a good run free and then I get coffee at the cafe. Coffee tastes really good after a long walk on the beach especially on a cool day. You can;t take them with you inside but there are quite a few places where you can sit outside.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 1, 2008 10:45 PM

Posted by: iaminperth at October 1, 2008 9:51 PM

The problem I have is that there are not very many places in Perth where you are allowed to take a dog with you into a Cafe, even if it is an outside Cafe.

Do you take your dog for protection? :)

Posted by: tabata at October 1, 2008 10:19 PM

I still like my walk along the beach with my dog for first meeting. I'm not a great coffee person without doing something else as well but I love a nice freshly brewed cup after a long walk. It's good on a warm day and if it's cold you just rug up and enjoy it as well. I figure if a person can't stand a bit of cold in beautiful surroundings then what's the point and there is a great cafe where I go and the waiters even bring out a fresh bowl of water for furry friends. My dog and I hang out a bit so apart from work and nights out she is with me most of the time anyway, just happens that way.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 1, 2008 9:51 PM

for sure

Posted by: metalscott at October 1, 2008 9:08 PM

....but the end result is they sit at home, don't they think of consequences. It's really very silly I think and just an ego trip.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 1, 2008 9:00 PM

Moniquen - I find the women who play those kinds of games usually stay single. I myself(as a male) dont do that, and in return i have found someone who i have come to care for very much. Through this site.

Posted by: metalscott at October 1, 2008 7:05 PM

I've heard that as well from women - If he hasn't called by Wednesday then he can forget going out on Saturday night. Like they are doing the guy some big favour.
Posted by: iaminperth at October 1, 2008 4:59 PM

According to the 'dreaded tome' the object is to make him think you're incredibly popular and busy and in demand, so if he wants to see you he has to 'book you' well in advance as if you were a new release DVD...

Posted by: moniquen at October 1, 2008 6:29 PM

I've heard that as well from women - If he hasn't called by Wednesday then he can forget going out on Saturday night. Like they are doing the guy some big favour. The silly thing is that the guy has probably just been busy during the week earning a living and the silly woman ends up sitting alone or wingeing to a load of like minded people on a Saturday night. I can't stand all these judgemental unwritten rules and the sulky pouts afterwards. Lots of men behave the same way as well, it makes everything too hard and I think it's a form of control.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 1, 2008 4:59 PM

I have to say my pet hate is 'The Rules' because it's all about playing head games.

I had so many friends who 'followed' the rules religiously and were knocking back dates with perfectly nice guys because they didn't call on Wednesday night to arrange a Saturday night date (but you couldn't tell them they had to call on a Wednesday, they had to figure it out for themselves)

In the end it was all the same, the guys got frustrated, decided they didn't want to play if there was no way to win and moved on...

One of my favorites though is a book called 'Kiss my Tiara' by Susie Gilman. It's right up there alongside 'Real Gorgeous' as the book all women should read... I'm with Starry, it's all about being happy with who you are not seeking it from external sources.

Posted by: moniquen at October 1, 2008 3:01 PM

With all the rationing of food, small amounts of meat and beans and masses of high energy tennis, how come so large. Nearly 18 stone and 5'-8" surely must be a huge worry at any age, but more especially at an older age. Nothing is adding up as there must be something piling on that amount of weight, copious amounts of beer perhaps that is a killer when it comes to weight gain especially in the belly area for men. You have to wonder how some men do their belt up when it is under this huge protruding lump of fat.

Posted by: iaminperth at October 1, 2008 8:34 AM

Saw this on another blog I follow and thought it was appropriate -

No one falls in love by choice,
it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance,
it is by WORK.
And no one falls out of love by chance,
it is by CHOICE

—Unknown author

Posted by: jenniferhi at October 1, 2008 7:23 AM

Anyone ever practiced mindfulness with chocolate? Spend five minutes experiencing one bite.....wow......

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at October 1, 2008 6:53 AM

espritlibrefemme at September 29, 2008 8:10 PM: Easy answer - go ahead and eat some chocolate!

But it has to be Lindt 85%, which Coles and Woollies both stock.

Ordinary chocolate is less than half actual chocolate, and 50 to 55% sugar. At least. More in individual filled chocolates.

Yes - appetite-increasing, the-more-you-eat-the-more-you-want, seriously-addictive sugar.

What Europeans each ate only 2kg of per year, 300 years ago. And didn't die of sugar cravings and the resultant diabetes.

The 85% refers to the chocolate content. So it's only 15% sugar.

I break a 100gm block into its 10 squares, then break each in half. My daughter (the slim one who takes after her 4 grandparents) breaks them into quarters, to get 40 pieces, not 20.

Mine go into a shallow open bowl, right in front of me when I open the fridge door.

The ration is a block a week, but they usually last me 8 or 9 days. Ten if I'm too busy to think about food much. They have so much chocolate content that it doesn't take much to give you an endorphin hit, and with so little sugar in them, eating one bit doesn't make you instantly crave another.

Allow to dissolve in the mouth without chewing, and if you want a second, delay having it for 15 mins, or preferably, slowly sip a half glass of half milk, instead of the second square. I am at this very moment.

Posted by: timewarp1 at October 1, 2008 12:28 AM

Posted by: kidsdigme at September 30, 2008 1:52 PM

I have also read 'He's just not that in to you.' and whilst I believe there are some meritorious ideas in it, I believe that some of the ideas are too rigid. eg 'He's just not that into you' if he doesn't want to marry you, and a case where a woman was sure that a bloke was going to ask her out when there was a major blackout, and he lost touch. The authors said once again: 'He's just not that into you.' While I thiink that it is true in certain instances eg 'He's just not that into you if he needs to be drunk to have sex with you,' I also believe then totally negating women not asking men out under any circumstances - is just too rigid, and doesn;t allow for the serendipitous happenings in ppl's lives eg 'Life is what happens to you whiile you're busy making other plans - John Lennon. I agree with the book 50% - due to its exteme rigidity, but yes there are some good ideas.

Posted by: margie18 at September 30, 2008 4:22 PM

I recently read 'He's just not that into you' by Greb Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. I wish I had had it went I was much younger and sillier.

Chocolate is wonderful....

Posted by: kidsdigme at September 30, 2008 1:52 PM

Istj...correct ! of course no-one wants to date us if we don't want to..! One guy sent uninvited email, in response to him politely, I told him I'm not interested to meet anyone at the moment... if he could leave his email addy, I will get back to him when I am ready. He question my honesty, why my profile is up, if I don't want to meet anyone. well, I'm only interested in blogs that's all at the moment. So in fairness my profile is hidden.

Posted by: aliane at September 30, 2008 12:03 PM

Starry....the quest of bloggers and non-bloggers reading these blogs are "come and go', there's no definite direction so far at the moment otherwise we won't spend quality time blogging and reading peoples comments and driving us in decline in human interaction.

Posted by: aliane at September 30, 2008 11:47 AM

Starryeyez...the better relationships gurus do emphasise working on yourself first...who'd want to date you if you don't even want to:))

Posted by: istj54 at September 30, 2008 11:22 AM

I am more interested in reading motivational type material, which helps ME, research the relationship I have with MYSELF. As the saying goes...'you have to be able to love yourself, before anybody else can love you'.

I'm getting there......

How are my other Beloved Bloggers going in this quest? I would very much like to get some feedback on this topic.

Starry Hugs

((((( *** )))))

Posted by: starryeyez at September 30, 2008 10:33 AM

God, I want CHOCOLATE....gggrrrr

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at September 29, 2008 8:10 PM

...just buy the Lindt 70% or above and eat all you want...I do...and, esprit, my son just got back from overseas and gave me that book to read...so I'll keep you informed of my take on it...sort of reminds me of the Happy Hooker in the seventies:))

Since beginning to date again in the last few years, I have read a few different relationship experts books...eg. Christian Carter, Amy Waterman... actually more than I care to admit...but I have to say I have gleaned parts of all their philosophies and they have opened my eyes to many different personality types that I was quite naive about pre-RSVP.

Posted by: istj54 at September 30, 2008 8:40 AM

I'm not sure what "we" (as adults) women classify these guys as? Or men classify these women as of this days.
We are generation X or we moving to generation Y. Where do we go, from there in searched of a relationship...?

Looking around at the group of "new" adults, the feeling of ability, willingness to succeed, openness to challenges in friendships, spirits, community and bonding.....But why? we are so complicated now? ..We hope to change the world and make it better place for us, ..and yet we like to complicate things..make things complex and we like to classify people in "the way they are"....and then justify that they/we are too hard to fix..!

When we say complicated because we don't understand the issue anymore and therefore can't explain, what we're really after,...we look for a bigger pictures on things we can absorbed ..but nevertheless to see the small things of happiness to consider.
Men and Women, assigning blame to anyone or any group, by our unsuccessful searched because we are not treated this world well...and we have not treated each other well.

Instead of continually classifying them or imparting all of our words of wisdom to them..maybe we should take a moment to listen to what they have to say. And, lets not complicate or cloud our judgement.

Posted by: aliane at September 29, 2008 11:19 PM

mmmmmm chocolate.

Posted by: jenniferhi at September 29, 2008 10:29 PM

Wouldn't seers and mystics receive a lot of their information intuitively?

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at September 29, 2008 10:25 PM

I want to feed my face with chocolates and ice cream...and I am sick to death of dieting in order to stop myself being 'too big', and rejected...and I am sick of it...if there was a relationships book that said "eat as much chocolate as you like and don't worry about having to work any of it off in the gym, because he will love you anyway", I would be praising it to the skies......
God, I want CHOCOLATE....gggrrrr

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at September 29, 2008 8:10 PM

I shy away from any purported advice given by a 'guru'.
Gurus are seers and feelers, faith diviners, mystics, speakers of tongues and hearers of voices, purveyors of hocus pocus and plain rip off artists. I'd prefer important advice given to people I might meet to be on the basis of logic and intuitive experience.

Having an understanding of contemporary social dynamics and the evolutionary reasons why our sexual behaviour is at is and guiding us as it does are the foundations for the sort of relationship you want.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at September 29, 2008 7:36 PM

The proof is in the pudding so to speak.
Has anyone had as much experience as me in the last 18 months?, crossed so many racial borders and come to the conclusion that white women are not worth the trouble ?
To any man out there still looking for a positive in their life go ethnic is my call, integrate into the society of the future give up the white and go and take classes in Mandarin.

They will populate the earth with their better looks, open approach, younger bodies ,higher education, and willingness to go the extra mile to put a smile on the face of an okker.

Plus, plus plus, where do i stop-...............better than a fwb any day !!!!

Posted by: deepbluepc at September 29, 2008 7:19 PM

Maybe the guru just bores them witless with one eyed comments and maybe your insight just do defy belief, because they are not believable. I would find it very difficult to listen to a self proclaimed guru on relationships and would find it very hard to stifle a yawn.

Posted by: iaminperth at September 29, 2008 7:00 PM

Well now....I think this is not a fair topic for someone who has had to read these books for professional development and postgraduate study!

One of the best books I ever read was not a celebrated text as such..."Why Men Marry Bitches"...very good...but then so was "The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl" which gave a remarkably enlightening and informative viewpoint on relationships! Interestingly, the author of that one concludes with talking about SimplePleasures which is talking about EXACTLY what an rsvper using the name (with additions - not giving his identity away here, Ellida) had as his 'no compromise' view of what a woman was for!

I AM going to write a book about rsvp experiences.....if only as a collective of my many and varied profile writings....

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at September 29, 2008 5:24 PM

It is easy to pick up on other people's errors. But our own, that is another story

Posted by: kazmaree at September 29, 2008 5:13 PM

Hmmmm..........okay, I see myself as the Guru on relationships, I can tell you what you want to know and give you the insight of experiences that defy belief.........and yet how do I explain my own inability to find the near perfect match ??

Posted by: deepbluepc at September 29, 2008 4:32 PM