RSVP Blog

this is a topic i believe is important. in my opinion I believe not only does it depend on the age of your children (cos lets face it the older kids know exactly whats going on whether we like to admit it or not) but the importance of your new significant other. When you know in your heart that this new relationship is becoming quite serious and actually has a chance to be real and lasting then you can introduce them into your children's life and heads up if you are amicable with your ex its an idea to speak to them first and maybe introduce them to your new partner this can avoid lots of future dramas!!
Don't introduce your children to someone unless its been strong for a while the last thing you want is cause heartache to your children if they become attached to someone you break up with a few weeks later. also nothing worse than looking back on your childhood and remembering a never ending string of different partners in your parents life.

Posted by: missindependanta at January 1, 2009 3:28 PM

SOmetimes you can start out with the best intentions and you still get screwed by someone who appears genuine, you introduce them to your precious little ones thinking it's a good thing, and then they turn around and say oh you know what maybe i'm not interested in kids, or as i've had happen once i'm an alcoholic.....so what are you to do then?

Posted by: no1mami at December 10, 2008 11:35 AM

I think I would not let my son meet a new person until they have shown they would be significant. Unlike my ex who has dragged my son to 2 first dates as far as I know of.

Posted by: coffeeandcake at November 18, 2008 11:51 PM

hmm I find this subject really complex, I too have four children spanning over 21 years, two are independent living out of home, my eldest married and I am raising my two youngest girls. I found after being in a long term marriage and long term partnership both 10years two children in each that dating for me has been difficult to say the least when it comes to my children..

I also know that we all deserve happiness, and dont want to deny my needs because I am a parent. My own knowledge centres around education and welfare community services, (degree's) yet I struggle like any other parent, who do I let into their lives when and how. I let someone in 9 months ago, after being alone for a year and into my daughters lives to find that he was not indeed right for me and they had become attached to him after we were beginning to get on our feet again after the breakdown with their dad.
I try to keep my personal life separate to my family life, yet deep within would love not to have to do that one day with the right man and have faith when he comes along he will be tolerant and empathetic( perhaps a father himself,) to my girls, yet not overstep the place of their dad, which I truly believe is a mistake too easily made.. They have one father only noone can ever replace him in their lives, yet a male role model and friend can enhance all of our lives..
Just my thoughts
Cheers Nel

Posted by: enchantinel at November 18, 2008 8:24 PM

I'm with billyboy. The one of the first things a guy should know about me is yes I have kids. I've always been upfront with the kids too. They even pressure me into finding them a new Dad. Sad I know, but unfortunately true.

A good measure of how a guy is going to treat my kids is how they treat their own. I certainly do not need another "deadbeat" in my life.

Posted by: raktajino at November 15, 2008 1:51 AM

My kids are the most important things in my life, to not be upfront would be pointless. Anyone who didn't respect the fact that I have children wouldn't be someone I would want anything to do with anyway.

I think it's a lot easier for single parents to relate to each other, though It surprises me how many single moms have their preferences set to No Kids! as a stipulation for the guys they wish to meet. Makes me go whoa!

But, you want what you want eh?

If a women I met didn't tell me about her kids and then "came clean" later I wouldn't respect her, not for the fact she has kids, but for the fact that she wasn't proud enough to make it a point.

The truth and honesty are not the same thing

Posted by: billyyboy at November 10, 2008 11:58 PM

Whats wrong , Whats right?
The short answer to the question is that there is no right answer ..
Every child , every adult and every relationship is different , and it changes with age and the childs upbringing, what works for one does not work for another. At the age of 4 , my oldest girl (now adult) sat smiling on the knee of a potential girlfriend, she looked the lady in the eye and promptly told her - He is my daddy and you cant have him !!!, at that point she felt threatened by the lady in question, now all she wants is for me to be happy. Everyones idea of parenting is different and not everyones ideas are compatible. When two families meet there is usually a clash of rules and expectations, the kids may feel competitive or insecure as they watch another person distract their parent especially if they have had the parent to themselves for a long period of time. If every thing is hidden from the kids it gives them no preparation and you no time to work out what are the real problems and what are the superficial ones. If the kids are involved from the start and your intended is a incompatible personality then unnecessary damage can be done. The balance between these things is something only the parent can decide. Hopefully, if your intended knows you have kids then hopefully they also know some of the difficulties and responsibilities involved.

Posted by: madeinoz1961 at November 4, 2008 12:32 AM

Marcus, you have scared off another one!

Posted by: aqueousdb66 at October 29, 2008 8:10 AM

sagg64 October 28, 2008 9:36 PM

Interesting comments and criticisms. I've been blogging here for only 9 months. You post long on male criticism and pejorative contention but provide no evidence or supporting examples to back your claims.
Are you sure you are not very set in your ways?
Give a couple of examples of my recent use of metonyms please.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 29, 2008 2:21 AM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 28, 2008 7:56 PM

I have been reading your blogs with interest over the past year and they are always tainted with the same chauvinistic attitude, tell me, is your need for the over use of metonymies' in your blogs to compensate for something lacking in the male image department? similar to why "small" men need 'Big" cars ????

PS: I do not put short term relationship because I don't want a short term relationship. I am realistic and grounded but these are attributes I certainly do not need to justify to you, I put friendship/long-term relationship sort because friendship first with the possibility for this to develop into a long term relationship.

That's all from me folks, I'm off RSVP.

Posted by: sagg64 at October 28, 2008 9:36 PM

I have four children aged 20, 11, 10 and 5. What I tell the 20 year old is obviously different to what I tell the other three. The younger children are told that I am going to meet a friend or if that friend happens to visit the house then they are told just that, a friend is coming to visit. They don't need to know any more than that. The kids have been receptive and comfortable when someone has spent time with us and I am hoping that if I do find someone more permanent that they will be just as accepting, possibly not.

Posted by: believer68 at October 28, 2008 8:14 PM

sagg64 at October 28, 2008 7:38 PM

Instead of criticising men for being men, displaying naivette and becoming cynical because they haven't apopted your female sex role paradigm, why not be pragmatic and put 'short term or long term relationship' on your profile. It would make you seem a lot more grounded and realistic...
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 28, 2008 7:56 PM

Posted by: marylulu at October 27, 2008 9:22 AM

Thank you once again and yes it is a catch 22 when it comes to the question do I introduce the man to kids and in saying that there is always the heartache of falling for the man only to discover he does not interact with your children. I have found men who have had very little to do with children or are childless or have been in either one of those categories and been divorced and living alone for a number of years, very set in their ways and selfish.

Also: Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 28, 2008 3:59 AM

Yes I agree with you, but please to not be so arrogant as to assume to know what it is I find attractive in a man, yes he was weak and 3 months after we split he wanted me back, to which I said no, as I knew I would never be able to count on his strength or support when a situation warranted it and yes I was after a man and not an indecisive child.

PS: I am a hopeless romantic, and RSVP is fast turning me into a cynic, 17 months down the track countless coffees, and only 2 dates (not counting the weak man mentioned in my stories) and I am wondering why do men bother put long term relationship on their profiles if they have no idea what this entails.

Posted by: sagg64 at October 28, 2008 7:38 PM

sagg64 at October 26, 2008 8:09 PM

I read the story. You are over wrought about something passe that occurs in the 'burbs every day. You needed a man with a stronger frame. Maybe. A secure man would not allow any daughter to interfere. And he would be easily able to tell you his truths. A man like that probably would have had attributes you may have found less appealing. Life is not a chick flick. Of course there is no suitable profile or template to put over a bloke. You are more likely to have a few shorter relationships than the 'rest of my life' one.

It would be me carefully sorting responses if it looked like again getting indirectly involved with bratty kids.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 28, 2008 3:59 AM

Thanks for your further comments sagg64
it's a hard and challenging road this dating game isn't it?

It's a delightful aim to teach our (your) children one long term relationship is the ultimate..I know my own children hope for that themselves, as do I for them.

Having said that though, sometimes we also need our children to know it's ok to get out if it is harmful ..And of course my own experience is now that I left my marriage after 30 something years. I do not consider that a failure in any sense.

But overall ...I'm such a romantic I won't argue you with you *smile* ...

Just the one point still disturbs me ...
where you say:

I will never introduce another man to my children and invite him into my life until:
b) I have a serious commitment from him that I am the one he wishes to continue his life with.

And this is of course only my personal opinion. I would be reluctant myself to make any kind of lifelong commitment (nor would I expect that from a man) without seeing how I (or they) interact with my children/family/life situation.

I would only ask that his intention be to see what we can make out of this. Don't get me wrong. I would love to marry again or be in a long long (forever) relationship, and that's what I'm dreaming of. But I can't demand it you know? I can only do my part to make that happen.

Posted by: marylulu at October 27, 2008 9:22 AM

Posted by: marylulu at October 26, 2008 7:46 PM
Thank you for your comments, but despite being divorced after 16 years with the father of my children, I would still like to send out the message to my children that one marriage/relationship of great substance is the way to go. Now I know that comment is probably going to result in a plethora of emails, telling me to get out of the dark ages, but I also explain to my children that before you make a commitment to enter a relationship do it for the right reasons, and not because you are;
a) Trying to escape an unhappy home life
b) Thinking that another person will fill a hole/void in your life
c) Using a person to advance your career or social standing
d) Because you are unhappy
The man I was referring to in my post, was using me to fill a void in his life, and in his case it was “the happy family” yes he wanted a mother for his children. I will admit I was somewhat “blinded” by all the love, attention and affection I was receiving at the time, not to see his alterative motive until it was too late, something that has made me more aware, wiser and less naive.
Now as for the psychological profile....I was in effect being facetious, hence why I listed it last, but one thing I do try to ascertain is a man’s values, and whether or not we are compatible on a physical, intellectual, emotional, social and spiritual level, and that can only be established by setting the foundations of a friendship first.
Let’s face it, we do not have the advantage of being teenagers and “growing” together and being able to “bounce” back and move on after a few years if it all fails, I am 44 in November and the man I eventually commit to will be the man I spend the rest of my life with, so no time wasters please.

Posted by: sagg64 at October 26, 2008 8:33 PM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 26, 2008 7:24 PM

Why do you ask? Can you relate to my story? Would you like to know what profile questions I ask (all surreptitiously) so you can be prepared in case a woman puts to you the same questions, scenarios?

Posted by: sagg64 at October 26, 2008 8:09 PM

sagg64 I can go better than you I last dated in 1973 having just come out of a more than three decade marriage. Yes things have changed ..but so have we. We are not those teenagers we were back then.

I do agree that it's best to protect our children at lots of levels from too much entanglement ..but ....we cannot prevent them from learning about life or relationships (and how they work or don't) ..they look to us to find out about to do all of that...

I appreciate you are trying to use some rules to control what happens, but we can't, often control what happens.

I'm not sure what kind of psychological testing you would require of a man? Or what that would prove.

I do very much agree with ....your point about having some kind of agreeable relationship with the mother of his children ...so much easier if that is true.

Your children will learn more from you and how you deal with the failures in life, than they would if you were to prevent them knowing or being involved in anything.

Posted by: marylulu at October 26, 2008 7:46 PM

sagg64 at October 26, 2008 6:20 PM

What is the psychological profile you mention?

Posted by: laughsandtalks at October 26, 2008 7:24 PM

DATING AT 43!!!

Dating....Hmmmm???? I waited 2 years after my separation before I started to actively date (ie: join RSVP) I waited because I needed to work out my life and fix myself up before I even entertained the idea of inviting another man into my life.

Now I don't know about the rest of the 40+, recently divorced after at least 16 years of marriage, women out there, but the last time I dated was in 1989!!!! And boy has things changed!!!!!!

Only my 18yo daughter knew I was on RSVP, and she was fine with it, the 12yo boy is another story; he tells me that I cannot have a boy friend until I am at least 50!!!!

So since I joined I have dated a few men, never brought them home, and only saw them on my off weekends, all except one, and that was the start of a huge drama.
I introduced him to my children and he introduced me to his, his seemed to accept me but mine did not want to know about him or his family especially my daughter. But we persevered with the relationship and I did not force my daughter to join in on anything we did in the way of combined outings, but my son did join us and made friends with "his" son.

So what happened? well "his" middle daughter decided she did not want me around and was fed a lot of rubbish by her mother, along the lines of, "she" (being me) will weasel her way into your father’s life, he will desert you and live with her and all his money will be spent on her and her children" Charming !!! So middle daughter now starts playing the emotional black mail card on her father, and basically tells him he has to choose between me or her.
He chose her (and I commend him on his decision) but I was un-ceremonially dumped, and I literally mean dumped, as in a 2 min phone call at 11:30pm one night "I cannot do this ay more" end of story, email address cancelled and phone number disconnected.

And the aftermath? Well my daughter stated "I told you he was weak and not for you mum" and in hindsight she was right because his behaviour was cowardly and that of a child running away from responsibility. My son was devastated that he had lost a friend (in his son) and did not like seeing his mother upset, (which I understandably was) despite trying very hard to hide my hurt and disappointment from my children.
I have since learn that "he" had a myriad of psychological issues and his middle daughter (15) eventually moved in with him and has since ran away from home to live with her 16yo boyfriend and his family

Lessons learnt from this chapter in my life? I will never introduce another man to my children and invite him into my life until:

a) An appropriate amount of time has passed i.e.: at least 8 months,
b) I have a serious commitment from him that I am the one he wishes to continue his life with,
c) Has a respectful and civil relationship with his ex-wife
d) Passes a psychological profile.

So it has been a year now since that horrible event transpired, and I am yet to meet or date a man who can get past the 3 moth hurdle, wants to commit, gets on with the ex or even wants to get involved with a woman who has a 12 yo son or can comprehend and respect my wishes to make my relationship with my children a priority. Ahhhhh yes, the joys of dating at 43!!!!!!!

Posted by: sagg64 at October 26, 2008 6:20 PM

About Children
What kind of a feeling will it be to have my own children? I do not know. I have never been a mum. And I do not know if I will have such a chance. When I see little babies, I cannot help smiling. It is a very tender sweet feeling. But I hate it when children cry. And I do not like the idea to have a family in which I am the housekeeper, the servant and the nanny, centering on a man and the children. But I do not mind being a single parent, because I can have a say as how to run my own life and how to raise the children, who are not only my world but also know me not only as a nanny but also as their guidance into the world and to all the good things our world has to offer. But I do not want to be a single mum (sorry I am saying this, as I know that not many people wanted to be a single parent here), as I want my children to live in a loving family with loving parents. So, it all comes back to the importance of having a loving relationship.

Last night on ABC, they talked about the desperation of Japanese women of wanting to have their own child. What a paradox that some, who can have their own children, do not want any, and, those, who cannot, are so desperate!

Posted by: ahappyending at October 22, 2008 2:04 PM

Truant: Thanks for the belly laugh. I have not stopped since reading from the vault. LOL and can relate to this in my own vault.
Thanks again.

Posted by: chachacha42 at October 19, 2008 7:46 AM

Hi ttygir,
This is a difficult one. My daughter is fine with me being on RSVP, but my boys don't want to know! (My 19 yo told me he thought it was pretty desperate, but oh well........*pulling a disapproving face* )
It is interesting that young people put their whole lives up on sites like Facebook, but are worried about what we do that may embarrass them!

I think it maybe that some young people think that internet dating sites are "sleazy" and your daughter may be concerned that people may think her dad is a "sleaze" if someone recognises you on here.

Not sure you can do much except reassure her. You could hide your photo for a while, until she feels more comfortable with things.
I currently have mine hidden, only because I am getting my garden set up over the next few weeks and am not really "looking", but I am thinking I may actually leave it hidden, .
Hopefully someone may be interested in more than just what I look like and may actually read my profile. Who knows?
And you are right Adelaide is a small place, but try living in a small country town...... sometimes I feel well just a little nervous and uncomfortable!
Not that I am hiding I am trying RSVP from my close friends and work mates, who have surprisingly mostly been very positive.
I guess RSVP does have a lot better reputation than some sites!

However, password protecting your photo is not going to get you a huge response. In fact some people are downright suspicious of hidden photos!
So I guess you need to weigh it all up as to what is best for you. If you want to find someone fairly quickly, then you will need to keep your photo up - definitely!
If you don't mind waiting a while, and are concerned about your daughter's anxiety then hide it.
However, at 26 she would probably not be too happy if the situation was reversed; no doubt she'd very promptly tell you to butt out. Ah, but don't we love them?

I think going by my own daughter, it would definitely be the "sleaze" factor she is mostly concerned about. You can only point out that you are the same dad you've always been and you haven't suddenly turned into Austin Powers!
Good Luck.

Posted by: amberlight58 at October 18, 2008 12:31 AM

Hi all :) Im very open with my kids, I believe with parenting we lead by example I am open and honest with them and they are with me i dont introduce them to my date i would rather make a connection with the man i want to be with before the children get involved but i know i have great kids im incredibly lucky there, I wake up every morning with a cup of tea in bed and they come home from school every day and give me the low down on whats been going on, I have no fears about the man i end up with getting to know my children because of how open we all are with each other... That being said i will only introduce someone to my children if there is something i feel that is lasting between me and the gentlemen. So over the last year they have only met 1 person that i have been dateing unfortunatly he still had issues from a previous relationship... but the kids handled it all very well and we where able to be there for each other rather than me just mopeing around and them not knowing why...

Posted by: xxbj at October 17, 2008 10:22 PM

Hi fellow parents... I try to keep my kids blissfully ignorant but my son is uncanny...

A story from my vault...

Years ago I invited an old friend over for dinner that I had a huge crush on. Mr 4 stopped him at the front door and innocently asked 'Are you *sexing my mum?'. Needless to say, I was floored, red-faced, tongue-tied. Thanks son for announcing my secret desires to the world!

(* Sexing - Picked up from daycare to denote couples who kiss!)

Weeks later at a Xmas party, realising the feelings were mutual, we decided to take advantage of the early hours while all the children were tucked away, safely asleep at the back of the house. Hmm...

Why do kids get up SO early when you sleep them all together?

5am and the door sprang open. There we were in flagrante delicto, my legs in the air, toes pointed at the heavens... In wandered Mr 4,5 and 6! Blankets have never flown so quick! Thankfully we were on a top bunk, safe in the knowledge that they couldn't see our faces, only the strange juxtaposition of legs and feet. We froze, hoping they wouldn't look up...

Mr 5 - Get the cars and...
LONG PAUSE...
Mr 6 - What's... that...?
SHORT PAUSE.
Mr 4 - That's My Mum.
Mr 5 and 6 - Oh...
Door closes swiftly behind them...

Ah, sweet mortification! Crucified by my own legs! Our children know us too well to be fooled...

PS Hopefully no children were psychologically harmed in the making of this product!

Posted by: truantwarrior at October 17, 2008 5:04 PM

Any experiences of note out there with the "older" kids? My teenage boys have been fine with my dating in the past and I've been relatively discrete, only introducing them at the "right time". But my 26 yo daughter is the biggest hurdle. She particularly disapproves of internet dating and would be mortified at the thought that I might be recognised by someone she knows (Adelaide is a small place). I know how I'm going to handle it but I'm curious as to how common it is for adult kids to have objections.

Posted by: ttygir at October 16, 2008 11:43 AM

Twins. What a delight...congrats strawberry.

Posted by: chachacha42 at October 3, 2008 11:35 PM

i dont know whether they will be aware considering they arent even born yet!! the last thing i would want to do is bring every tom dick and harry home to have a preview of the kids when they are born...i cant even imagine right now anyone even coming near me considering im pregnant with twins!

Posted by: strawberrycupcakes1 at September 22, 2008 6:16 PM

Planet, I remember being evil to my mum as a 14 year old. Be patient, she will return becasue YOU are her mum.

Re original question. I have been on no dates in the last 9 years, because I have been in a relationship, so this thought is new ground for me. I think intially I would not tell my kids if I was meeting someone. They are used to me having a 'me' night at least once a month, so it wouldn't be suddenly out of the ordinary for me to be going out. If the lucky guy asked to meet them, and I felt the time was right, perhaps then we would all get together. On the other hand, I would like to know early on that the fact I have kids is not going to be an issue.

Posted by: kidsdigme at September 7, 2008 11:34 PM

straight back to you willow your a legendxx

Posted by: amourmoi08 at September 7, 2008 9:59 PM

Happy Father's day to all the Dads out there and to all the Mums that are doing the Dad duties too :)

Posted by: willow29 at September 7, 2008 5:34 PM

Dear planet and others,.welcome to you all.

This is a great site to share the pain of parenting with the other parent often giving what you do not in terms of spoiling the child.

My ex is a treat with this emotional crap to the moon and back he would go for his child rather than just looking at him and hugging him to say NO gently.

No son I will buy you the laptop however you may earn it through pocket money.

Your mother and I will have each at your two homes a money jar (cause this mother does it for him)

Then when you have the money at least 50 % then your mother and I will pitch in the rest.

I would seriously move and consider at least another two suburbs away so that your spirited young one has further to travel and thus will be put off by the rain?

She is a young girl fast becoming a young women in a fast world that has gone nuts!xx

Stick to your guns and speak with the school so that they are aware of the emotional blackmail and place her in the view of the school consellor.

The up side of this is

1. You will never lose her if you handle this right.

2. Leave flea bag and door mat to thier own inner lust

3. Move further away if possible.

4. Contact the school and invite her friends over all the time so you get to know how she is hanging out with.

5. Always be open to discuss your thoughts on her behaviour

6. She is not doing drugs or worse so be gratefull however this will come at around aged 15.

7. Be gentle on your self and have a coffee hear as we do and chew the fat so to speak.

Peace out xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxAmour

Posted by: amourmoi08 at September 5, 2008 11:30 AM

Hi Planethopper - I haven't posted on this blog before because Im technically not a parent, but I have helped raise 7 kids and my teenage sister became my surrogate daughter when she was too much to handle at home.

So I can say from experience that 14 year olds, while adorable, can be manipulative and while she is manipulating her father and his g/f for the material things that they might give her, it doesnt mean that she doesnt love you as much as she ever did. She probably even respects you more for saying no, but at the moment, she is in the "I want" stage.

Im not denigrating your daughter, Im just saying this is what 14 year olds do. Its hurtful for you, but normal. As long as she knows you love her, she'll return. Meanwhile, take advantage of your new found freedom.

Posted by: willow29 at September 5, 2008 11:06 AM

HELP what do you do when your spoiled only child, truns 14, wants new apple Mc computer and more. so she runs 2 dad the money and his door-mat girlfriend at the other end of street. 3 monthes have passt now i feel i have toltly lost her. no more little girl. so sad

Posted by: planethopper at September 5, 2008 10:36 AM

Hi to all the Single Parents,

I have been on a couple of dates but have not told my children about them. I believe it is not appropriate to introduce your children to someone until you are fairly certain the relationship is going to go further. In other words do not introduce your children to someone new every couple of weeks. Of course it also depends on the age of your children, if they are younger I would wait a bit longer. In my case my ex lives fairly close to me so if I was dating someone it is quite possible I could run into him and the kids on the weekend I don't have the them, so in that case it would be probably be better to tell them earlier. I guess every one's situation will be different. Good Luck. Dixietrace

Posted by: dixietrace at September 4, 2008 7:46 PM

My kids are learning that I don't have to tell them everything I'm doing. That definitely goes for dating. I may tell them I am going out, but I don't say with whom. When is it appropriate for them to meet someone you've been dating? Well, if there was a definitive answer to that, it would certainly make life easier, but it's not something you can put a time on. I left it 6 months last time and felt certain it was the right time. Sadly, 6 months after he met my children it all went pear-shaped very suddenly. Because of the nature of the breakup and the ages of my children, I wasn't willing to tell them why it was over, just that it was. They were very hurt as he had very much taken on a "father role" (something my children haven't had for over 7 years). Would I leave it longer "next time"? I have no idea.

Something I do want to raise is the lack of courtesy I'm finding in the dating world these days. If I am asked out on a date, it's not a simple exercise for me. I have to arrange a babysitter because I don't share the care of my children with their father plus I often have to pay the babysitter if my friends are already committed to other things. I spend a bit of time getting myself ready (nothing over the top, just like to look and smell good!) And then- he sends a text message as I'm walking out the door, telling me "Sorry, something's come up and I can't make it. Can we do it another time?" Text messaging is a great way to send someone a quick message but I don't think it's appropriate in that situation. Nothing says "you don't matter" quite like a can't-make-it text.

One last thing- it would be so nice if people read your profile and what you are looking for before they send a kiss. My profile is pretty clear about what I am looking for, yet I get a lot of kisses from men who don't even come close to what I'm looking for (i.e. I am looking for a relationship and they're looking for a bit of fun or they're way out of the age range). I still do the courteous thing and send a kiss reply that they don't match my ideal partner profile, but there are times when I'd like to see "...thanks you for your kiss, but would really like to see you drown in the shallow end of the gene pool" as a kiss reply :)

Posted by: thegoddessofthesea at September 4, 2008 7:04 PM

Morning MT I see that I will have to set the alarm clock before yours goes off....your a crack up xxx peace out and hope to have coffee with you before the 27th xx

Posted by: amourmoi08 at September 4, 2008 7:25 AM

Morning Mr Gordy xxx I am available for adoption don't ya know? xx

Posted by: amourmoi08 at September 4, 2008 7:24 AM

Hello to you all,can i jump in here,its my first time, I have just been for a bit of a romp around the USA for a few months,Came across this place called Morro Bay on the Calif coast-you could smell the romance,boats on the jetty swaying -old planks creeking and long railings to lean on whilst taking in the view,restaurants to die for-thanks Den

Posted by: walktheplank2gether at September 2, 2008 8:24 AM

Well done amourmoi08. I can't comment on this blog as i dont fit the critera. Gordon

Posted by: gordon1951 at September 1, 2008 4:18 PM

Sorry Amouro.......I beat you to it!

Posted by: musicteacher at September 1, 2008 3:43 PM

I have been open with my children and made it clear that they only have one "Daddy"....They know about my b/f and occassionally my daughter paints a picture for me to give to him.

I don't plan on presenting them with a step father at anytime...and they know that too.

My children have met him once,but for me it is important to keep my children and b/f apart and I would not consider at any time having my b/f stay over when my children are at home.

I am so busy,and the children spend half the time at their fathers place.......so I make sure I make time to have quality time with the children,and if possible some one on one.

I spend every Saturday afternoon with my daughter as i have started finally to teach her(Piano).

I would think that children are a priority with most parents.

Posted by: musicteacher at September 1, 2008 3:23 PM

omg: Well I have never had the pleasure of being the first to post on the new topic so I shall be sensible........for a little minute anyway. Cheeky monkeysxxx

My kids are aware of my social life. Yes

However they are not placed at risk of seeing a potiential partner for me...... as it is the day for dating many and comitting to not just anyone.....

My child would think of the future before It arrives and look at a male figure that is good for me and a potiential partner, but the question the child asks is this "Is He going to be more important to me, mum or just shaft my dad": etc.

Someone one forgets to think as a child and remember the innoncense of thought, fear, rejection sadness.

Always understand the value of your kids, life and all that you choose.

Enjoy painting on a new canvas one and all.

Ps See I can behalf serious don't ya know.

Love From Me Amour xxxx

Posted by: amourmoi08 at September 1, 2008 3:11 PM