RSVP Blog
Lucky in love?
There has long been a fascination with serendipity - destiny or fate bringing you to the love of your life without your power or choice intervening. Whilst luck in love has been pondered by many artists, musicians, film directors etc. there are certainly people who would strongly challenge this thought, not due to pessimism, but because they have been there, done that!
So, to those who have been married; had a long term partner; or have at least once in their lives said "I found the one!" - did luck bring you to "the one"? Was it really dealt by the hand of fate? And, if this is your first step into the dating world after having been in a long-term relationship, has your perspective changed? Are you still a believer (if you ever were)? Or has the experience of once finding that perfect someone, actually made a believer out of you?
Posted by September 3, 2008 4:14 PM
Latest Comments
H2H life is a challenge, i agree but stating everyone should just deal with their issues or problems without the insightful opinions or helpful suggestions of others is rather harsh. We are discussing real dating experiences on a dating site just like one could probably play with a fictional toybox on an animated site.
When generalisations are made obviously they will apply to some and not others but i believe they are food for thought, not to mention cathartic and should be stated regardless.
I don't regret my life experiences, am proud of who i am, what i have achieved and overcome. My wish is that i and others can gain information and decide for ourselves from these discussions what will and won't work for us.
Posted by: aqueousdb66 at September 10, 2008 1:33 PM
Gordo we could try talking about something else.
How's the weather in your parts?
On second thoughts...............: )
Posted by: tassiedude1 at September 10, 2008 1:28 PM
Could we please stop this cleavage talk. I am getting hot flushes. Who has the supersoaker. Please let me have it. Anywhere to cool me down. In my humble, single mans opinion, cleavage is both beautiful and sexy. Gordon.
Posted by: gordon1951 at September 10, 2008 1:13 PM
Posted by: thelynathdiary at September 10, 2008 12:18 PM
I believe the smahing of atoms comes later in the relationship lynath although your analogy does boggle the mind. I've had to show great restraint in my response as I feel the moderator would not approve my reference to the black hole theory :-)
Posted by: troyohboy at September 10, 2008 1:08 PM
SYDNEY MEET
Private rooms booked from 730 onwards.
My mum wants to know why am I going out and do I intend drinking.umm,yes Mum........
Jen........are you coming lovely lady?
Off to work now.
Yes Perth.......please explain that comment...and try to be SPECIFIC.......we are smart but not mind readers!
Posted by: musicteacher at September 10, 2008 1:07 PM
and pps (that is also the name of my middle aged hairspray which I haven't given up yet)
What is it with men and the word Large
Large Hadron Collider...a new name for it I suppose.
Now Troy how would you feel about having to show photos fo your LHC in order to attract women?
Posted by: thelynathdiary at September 10, 2008 12:18 PM
ps does the Kangaroos Bladder Water need to be cellared for a few years first?
Posted by: thelynathdiary at September 10, 2008 12:05 PM
Yeah, Marcus I heard today that we are all safe for another year when they do it again bigger and better with some other Atom( Iron or ion or something) and that even if today goes horribly wrong it could take a Century to suck Melbourne in to the hole(or is it a portal)not the instantaneous disappearance previos predicted. Talk about greenhouse effect.....
So safe to buy another book of stamps then?
Who or what would you spend your last day in this universe with?
Posted by: thelynathdiary at September 10, 2008 12:02 PM
Musicteacher
Hi there. looking forward to meeting you in Sydney. Not long to go now already getting excited.
outback and I just downing a few coldies nothing to worry about: )
Wall.e great! Highly recommended fun.
Have a nice time with your mum.
Posted by: tassiedude1 at September 10, 2008 12:02 PM
perth@8.49am. You bet what won't happen? The Sydney meet? Can you explain that comment please.
Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at September 10, 2008 11:49 AM
Lynathdeary. The Large Hadron Collider is the same sort of boring scientific endeavour as say, the internet, or the advances in medicine, sanitation, education, housing and transport that have about doubled your life expectancy and given it easily the best quality ever known. If it wasn't for these interfering blokes you would probably be carrying drinking water on your head in a kangaroo's bladder and living in a rock
shelter. If the Higg's boson, the LHC's holy grail is discovered huge further advances in our life quality may be made.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at September 10, 2008 11:46 AM
Otherwise, why have a public ceremony at all?
Posted by: drone at September 9, 2008 11:19 PM
The presents Drone, the presents!
Or in two recent tacky cases requests fror no presents just money towards the honeymoon or the mortgage.
I suppose they are not planning on staying together long enough to want have anything sentimental enough to put in a box later....
Posted by: thelynathdiary at September 10, 2008 11:29 AM
Bill, how absolutely awful for you. It's amazing how these signals manifest themselves. You hear too much of it to discount it. The mind is such a powerful thing.
"There is a theory that if anyone actually discovers what the universe is for.. it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable" (Douglas Adams)
Posted by: willow29 at September 10, 2008 11:26 AM
Timewarp: I believe you are right.
My mum was in a bad car accident when I was on school camp when I was 10,and i became sick with a fever at the same time.
I know many people dismiss this type of thing as some type of stupidity,but I would be stupid not to see some sort of correlation.
We share something horrible don't we Wandy.
My Mum is here.........so i will see you guys later.
Posted by: musicteacher at September 10, 2008 11:18 AM
H2H do you not sleep?? LOL or maybe on nightshift?? But you do write good stuff regardless, and so well written. And I want a good time best fun when the supersoakers come out.
Posted by: lovetolaugh57 at September 10, 2008 11:11 AM
Tassie..........Wall-e has been raved about to me by a couple of guys on my MySpace thingy........I am taking my kids to see it when it opens here in Sydney!
What is going on between you and Outback man?????
Starry.......that's what I thought about the rings on the right hand.I am Greek Orthodox.
TROY.........that was a fantastic,"manly" post.....
H2H........."let me at em"....
Sydney MEET............I am going to go ahead and book a room at the Oaks.
Posted by: musicteacher at September 10, 2008 11:07 AM
Ah, June, so were you lucky that your injuries weren't life threatening? Or were you unlucky that you had the accidents in the first place?
Personally, Im glad that they werent! :)
Posted by: willow29 at September 10, 2008 11:03 AM
musicteacher at 9:48 AM: Not coincidences, Wodna. When we are in pain (physical or emotional), we send out mental distress signals, and those who are on our wavelength detect them.
My son's godmother suddenly sat down unexpectedly on the stairs in a shocked heap at work in Brisbane, at the moment when her boyfriend had a bad car prang in Ipswich, 45km away.
And when my teenage son had his fatal asthma attack in the city about midnight, 7km away I woke with my first asthma attack for 35 years. Which stopped 45 mins later, when he died in hospital.
Posted by: timewarp1 at September 10, 2008 10:51 AM
iaminperth at 8:49 AM: I like it when you get real - good stuff without condiments.
Posted by: timewarp1 at September 10, 2008 10:37 AM
junebaby57 at 8:20 AM: You deserve to have the last word. Way to go!
Posted by: timewarp1 at September 10, 2008 10:34 AM
heart2heart57 at 3:08 AM : The later the night, the better you get.
Posted by: timewarp1 at September 10, 2008 10:30 AM
Perth, I think I understand where you are coming from however I would be interested in your opinion as to how a man prevents a woman from using one sided law law to gain an unfair property settlement....and vice versa of course. I really don't want to get into that whole can of worms I just thought it was a strange inclusion in your list.
To those others who, predictably, hang on to their ridiculous cleavage opinions that to show cleavage means a woman only attracts 'players', that it shows they have nothing else to offer and that 'genuine' men are turned off by it I can only blow you a rasberry. If this is your opinion as a woman it is generally because you are jealous. If you are a man, well, perhaps you are not haha.
Thanks to those who welcomed me back, I've been in Thailand with my most beautiful lady......who has a great rack to match the beauty within.
Troy
Posted by: troyohboy at September 10, 2008 10:28 AM
Posted by: mousaikalliope at September 9, 2008 11:02 PM
MSK, nice to see you posting again. Your son's devotion and care for you is admirable and will stand him in good stead for the rest of his life. There is one woman that a man can always depend on and that is his mum.
rgds grego
Posted by: grego7 at September 10, 2008 10:25 AM
Jewels @8.20a... My sentiments exactly... I am who I am so love it or lump it ...
Perth @ 8.49a.. Spot on..
Jen @7.33a.. Agree. Am a total believer in karma.. It has it's own way of doing a full circle and biting you on the bum.. And when you least expext it too..
Almost forgot H2H.. whoever suggested you were a nuff nuff..geez............
Cheers all.... Have a good one......."G"
Posted by: amdoingit at September 10, 2008 10:07 AM
betcha it doesn't happen.
Posted by: iaminperth at September 10, 2008 10:06 AM
H2H@3.08.. Wow, you were having some "morning" weren't you? Deep stuff !!!
..."G"
Posted by: amdoingit at September 10, 2008 9:58 AM
Hi all!
Thank you to those who have had me in their thoughts...........
it could have been worse.....I am the one feeling bad for walking out..........
anyway,at the beginning of this blog topic i talked about coincidences.Yesterday and this morning have been a bit strange..........
A man I was in love with a long time ago called me out of the blew,NO,not for a date.....he is a composer/conductor...I ran away to Melbourne and OS to try to forget him years ago(some may recall the story....he left his wife and blah blah.........anyway,it was a professional call,but it was kinda weird.........and last night and this morning.........an e-mail from the Czech Pianist/Psychiatrist I flew to Europe to see last year,only to discover was married with two children!!!(oh,yes,this was an i can't get you out of my head deal).
..reminders of more pain,but it is very strange......
I am fine,although i did smoke a lot o cigarettes yesterday..no alchohol and NO chocolates.....last thing I want is to be sad and feeling unattractive..........
My Mum is coming over today to nag the s@&*t out of me,and my piano is having it's last new strings put in!.....
and I am looking forward to meeting some of you in a short while.....Sooooo,thanks again,um err....I love you guys! xx
Posted by: musicteacher at September 10, 2008 9:48 AM
h2h I have to agree with you. It makes me wonder at times when I read the negative comments towards each other re mens behaviour like the woman has no control over her destiny and will be 'used' by a man. The same from the men bleating about past experiences and 'losing' most of what they have worked for. Do people not realize they have control over their own lives. If you allow yourself to be treated badly by another person then that is your choice but don't bleat about it. And if you allow a woman to rort the legal system and gain a bigger share of assets then don't moan about it. What does it matter if a man's intention is to get you into bed as soon as he looks at you....tell him to get real and hit the road or rather suss out the situation before it gets that far. Also don't behave in the first place like that is what you want. Similarly for men if they don't want to be treated like a doormat, don't behave like one, developing a personality and individual interests in life could help that one in a lot of cases. A lot on this site can measure the rest of their lives in months now and bleating and not doing is simply going to waste it.
Posted by: iaminperth at September 10, 2008 8:49 AM
H2H @3.08...Ditto Jen....great post....,but don't even entertain the thought that you are a "nuff nuff"....can we have that post bronzed?
Posted by: ssshhh at September 10, 2008 8:38 AM
re the car accident...yep she is lucky that she is alive and unhurt....cause someone else could have had a similar accident and been injured or even killed. So she was lucky, only had bruises, and now some insurance and financial stuff to work out, but lucky in the long run!!
get this, when I was 22, just married a week, I rolled the husband's car, I ran of the road, rolled over bonnet to boot way and smashed into a tree. I was overtaking a truck, and a tyre blew, whic caused me to loose control and vered of the road at a high speed. I didn't know about the tyre until later when the police told me. the guys thta came to save me had to use a crow bar to get the car door open, and pull me out via my hips, as the car was mostly flattened and I was unconsious lying across the driver to passenger seat.....no one else was in the car....but as soon as i came too...I made the guys go back to the car as all my wedding photo's and relared stuff were in the car!!!!I I was very lucky that I survived...only had a cracked jaw, sore shoulders, bruising and lacerations on stomach where the seat beat cut me and cuts from all the broken glass. I was black and blue but OK.....and alive......SO that was LUCK.....I have had other smaller accidents over the years, like tail enders, two done to me, I did one to another car just recently.....but I still consider myself extremely lucky (considering that I am always speeding, have an XR6 and love driving)) and I am going to live till 100!!!! Shame I can't find or attarct a likeminded guy...just my thoughts on luck...jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at September 10, 2008 8:36 AM
re the ring....after hanging around mainly european people since child hood, have always known that some cultures wear a wedding ring on the right hand....I used to wear mine there, sometimes, as he bought me rings as gifts so I was always swapping around. And when he didn't wear his wedding ring, cause it might cause a injury at work, I wouldn't wear mine either....( back to equality) so towards the end, our wedding rings didn't actually get much use.
Bottom line here...it is jewellery, usually very pretty, mostly expensive, metal, inanimate and it can't replace a person or memories...which is why I don't get why some are getting upset over a piece of metal!!!!!
re the cleavage and photo's....there are a lot os sleazes out there, there are every where in life....it is frustrating being approached by them for sex.....BUT there is more to me than boobs, so a person truly interested in me will see past the window dressings!!!! They will read the profile and see the rest of what I have written, and think, yep there is more to this person, she sounds interesting, intelligent, is ok to look at, I will kiss her!!!!! And for thoses that do know me....I always dress with cleavage, have done since I discovered it when I was about 17!!!!!!!!!! It is part of me!!! Waht you see is basicaly what you get!!!! just my thoughts...jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at September 10, 2008 8:20 AM
h2h@ 3.08am - Wow. Great post.
My only comment I suppose would be that those we do affect along the way comes under our responsibility too. Do no harm and all that. What goes around comes around. We do do things that affect others. The saying, the doing. We hopefully learn from those mistakes. But still it was our responsibility in the action of it.
There is always a consequence. I guess we can't always relate exactly where or how, but there is and like you said "not always in this life-time."
Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at September 10, 2008 7:33 AM
My friend and I were looking at pictures of her car accident (last Mon) and looking at the pics of the car and looking at her bruises, I said "wow, you were so lucky" (being alive!). So what is lucky? A disaster that could have been worse?
Posted by: willow29 at September 10, 2008 6:56 AM
From what I've been reading of late, some of this stuff borders on the realism of the ridiculous. RSVP is not a forum for the insane, or the inane. It's a DATING site. Get it? Sure, we may get caught up in the inevitable chest-beating about who's right, and who's wrong - seemingly judged by the amount of emotional scars that no-one else can outwardly see, or measure. Granted, some see it as a venue to unleash their pent-up venom of what they see as 'life dished this out to me'. But that serves no-one. Hands up those who are here for a good time? And those that wish to wallow in the past?
Do what you may - stigmatise me, enigmatise me. Kick me while I'm down. If that gives you some sort of pleasure, then good for you. At least that's one less nuffie you have to pulverise on your quest for success. What goes around, comes around - albeit not always in this life-time.
We all have our differences of opinion - some choose to punch-on without consequence and without ever considering that others may hold a different point of view. Good luck to you too. Some choose to punch-on regardless. Meh, their problem, not mine.
Are we ever truly "Lucky In Love"? Interesting question. Is luck something that simply comes along by chance? Or do we ever have complete control over our destiny? Nup. And probably Nup again..
What we do have is the benefit of hindsight. How we apply that is up to us. We can choose to use all that 'experience' to nullify a way forward, or we can choose to use it as a 'lesson learnt', while still keeping our options open.
That choice is ultimately ours. How we choose to administer it is entirely up to us. Whom it affects along the way is not.
Treat others as you would unto yourself expect to be treated. Pain begets pain. Sorrow begets sorrow. Love? It's not always returned. But bury me deep the day I give up trying...
Posted by: heart2heart57 at September 10, 2008 3:08 AM
drone at 10:47 PM: Or some gal impersonating .....
Posted by: timewarp1 at September 10, 2008 12:01 AM
OK, something completely irrelevant...
I've been watching my DVD of Easter Parade tonight...
Any other fans? I reckon this has to be my favourite musical of all of them... (yes, I'm a musician, so I have an excuse...)
Posted by: drone at September 9, 2008 11:58 PM
outbackdrifter at 9:22 PM : The most dangerous dessert is shark-infested custard.
Posted by: timewarp1 at September 9, 2008 11:54 PM
It's a european tradition (old one) that when you get engaged you wear the wedding ring on right hand. It's transferred to left hand on wedding day.. That was when they didn't use engagemen t rings as such. Not sure if it still applies in these modern days.. Maybe I'll check it out....... "G"
Posted by: amdoingit at September 9, 2008 11:33 PM
jenniferhi at 12:31 PM : Bless you for those sweet words. And your excellent overview just before.
Posted by: timewarp1 at September 9, 2008 11:30 PM
Posted by: starryeyez at September 9, 2008 10:47 PM:
By the way, I like your choice in music. Jeff Buckley was pretty neat. Mojo Pin is a great song.
Very sad that he's not still around.
Posted by: drone at September 9, 2008 11:29 PM
musicteacher at 11:00 AM: Very sorry you're sad.
Posted by: timewarp1 at September 9, 2008 11:23 PM
Well Drone, please say Hi! to him and I admire his sense of humour too.
I approach the internet blogs as a series of opinions from "disembodied brains".....obviously the people behind the opinions are real but as to whether they are the members as named and presented here..well. time has often proven otherwise. I react to the ideas not the persona these days and never take comments too personally.
Posted by: thelynathdiary at September 9, 2008 11:21 PM
Here's a bit of further speculation which people are, of course, free to disagree with:
Thinking about marriage a bit more, unless you regard it as a religious ceremony involving a promise in front of God, the only real purpose of the cermony *is* the social aspect of it.
It's a public declaration requiring also some sort of commitment from those who front up to watch. Otherwise, why have a public ceremony at all?
Posted by: drone at September 9, 2008 11:19 PM
aliane at September 9, 2008 10:27 AM :
You forgot Zimbia! She'll be sulking!
Posted by: timewarp1 at September 9, 2008 11:19 PM
aliane at September 9, 2008 9:09 AM : Glad to see you have tickets on yourself, A.
Posted by: timewarp1 at September 9, 2008 11:13 PM
The moderators have knocked off for the night and so am I.
Night all. Sweet dreams.
Posted by: tassiedude1 at September 9, 2008 11:13 PM
"TD if l saw you and OBD like that l would give you both a hig hankie".
Aunty k. What's a hig hankie? : ) lol
Posted by: tassiedude1 at September 9, 2008 11:11 PM
If you get no approaches from men who are solely interested in sex/married men/playboys, that would disprove my theory. Is that the case, I wonder?
Posted by: waterbombe at September 9, 2008 10:53 PM
Hi Waterbombe...actually one guy wrote to me "damn your hot" and then went on about his trucking business and his love of Harleys?? and his admiration, for a girl who loved home cooking??...I don't really understand how it was all related to each other....but anyway...LOL ...I wrote back to him...but never got a further reply?? Who knows...
I don't MSN, I don't engage in late at night chats...unless they are with some of my blogging friends, re: a hot topic of discussion (you know who you are)
But on the other hand, I have only met a few men on here...so it's still early days yet. Waterbombe...let me get back to you, at a later date OK?
Posted by: starryeyez at September 9, 2008 11:09 PM
waterbombe at September 8, 2008 11:32 PM : You argue so well that you've even convinced me. And your writing style's a delight to read.
Glad you enjoyed the snow, and the lunge joke was apt. Nice to have you back - in your absence I only had TLD sorting me out, but she did cover for you very ably.
Posted by: timewarp1 at September 9, 2008 11:04 PM
Hey everyone! Haven't been in here for ages, thought I'd pop my head in to say Hi.I think fate can play a part , for some people, some of the time but we all have the ability to influence the outcomes of chance meetings.At times in my life there have been circumstances that were so spooky but had no intervention from me, and I find myself wondering how can stuff happen with all the coincidences that at times are all around us. It makes you believe in fate, even if just for a moment,and adds a special extra dimension when you can't explain how and why things happen. It's late , and I 'm rambling , so hopefully that made some sense.
Just as an aside, My eldest turned 18 today, I finally am a parent to an adult, and I survived...YAY. Can't believe the years have flown by so quickly.And , my son is now more concerned about my welfare and wellbeing when I'm out on a date than I am when he's out...Tables are turning! Take care , and blisskisses to all.
Posted by: mousaikalliope at September 9, 2008 11:02 PM
Jenniferhi the requesting of support of the community is part of several marriage ceremonies..and I think is a lovely tradition.
Similar to the way Godparents and the church community in general are asked to support the childs religious upbringing.
The support of family and community plays an important role in successful relationships in many cultures,and we could do with more of it.
It does not mean direct intervention in a couples business, but it could mean assisting them to work through problems or difficulties before throwing the relationship away. It also means that the marriage or partnership is respected enough that it might deter adultery.
People definitely react differently when they know that others are watching and care what happens to them.
Posted by: thelynathdiary at September 9, 2008 11:01 PM
Starry
One word Hallelujah.
You are right there are no words.
Posted by: tassiedude1 at September 9, 2008 10:58 PM
Posted by: jenniferhi at September 9, 2008 10:25 PM:
"drone@9.47PM. I have been to a lot of weddings over the years and can't recall a promise the congregation makes to the couple.
I hardly think it is anyone's business if a marriage fails. It is up to the couple to seek advise or whatever support they need from whom ever they choose."
I'd say that about 70% of the weddings I've been to had that promise.
100% of the ceremonies involving practising Christians (I'm not one of those, by the way) had that congregational promise. And I'd say a majority of the non-Christian weddings I've been to had it also.
I guess I'm only saying that this community-care aspect of the marriage ceremony is the main thing that, to me, makes marriage different from de facto promises that can be made in the lounge room. And those promises that are made by the congregation/audience aren't promises that "whatever happens" they will try and enforce the marriage. I took it more as, they will do their best to support the marriage, and help it stick together, and make sure that the parties involved aren't making hasty decisions about its dissolution.
Ultimately, the community can't enforce anything, and nor should they be able to.
Posted by: drone at September 9, 2008 10:57 PM
Posted by: drone at September 9, 2008 9:05 PM . Thanks, drone. I appreciate your observations too. It's interesting to hear boob shots compared to chest shots for men...most women fast foward over those, I'll bet. I don't know a woman who likes them.
Starryeyez, if you read the posts earlier today you'll see a number of women were saying they had a lot of approaches - from what sound like sleazy guys. Sorry Marcus - from what sound like healthy men with 'true' masculinities who want nothing more than sex. I don't remember exactly who it was and it doesn't matter...it's the point we are discussing, not the people.
If you get no approaches from men who are solely interested in sex/married men/playboys, that would disprove my theory. Is that the case, I wonder?
Posted by: waterbombe at September 9, 2008 10:53 PM
Posted by: jenniferhi at September 9, 2008 10:30 PM:
Yeah, sorry... bad choice of words... I meant "right" as in the correct side to indicate being married, er, which would be, ah, the left...
Posted by: drone at September 9, 2008 10:48 PM
Posted by: thelynathdiary at September 9, 2008 10:18 PM:
Not necessarily. After all, this is the internet.
I could just be some guy impersonating someone else with integrity...
You never know... ;)
Posted by: drone at September 9, 2008 10:47 PM
Tassiedude...I forgot to say I saw your reply to my Mojo Pin question
Yes Jeff is Tiger....
I have played Grace ...the most ...oh 1000 times..plus ...all of his other CD's...it's something....ethereal....never to be repeated...
There are no words....
Posted by: starryeyez at September 9, 2008 10:47 PM
AK, Rounding Hmmmmmmm, Yes I think deserve that one :))))))))))
Posted by: outbackdrifter at September 9, 2008 10:46 PM
Posted by: starryeyez at September 9, 2008 10:18 PM:
"Drone...how are you my frien? I respect your opinion...but keep in mind, I have not really complained about the quality, of my guys responding on RSVP? Who were you thinking of?"
Not directed at anyone in particular. If you are happy, I'm happy.
Posted by: drone at September 9, 2008 10:46 PM
K you're a little devil in disguise. : )
Posted by: tassiedude1 at September 9, 2008 10:40 PM
Kids what are those?
Oh that's right I can see the smoke stack from the boat sailing away on the horizon.
Posted by: tassiedude1 at September 9, 2008 10:36 PM
H2H, One of few things that is good about living by yourself is ................you can watch what ever you want :))))))
Posted by: outbackdrifter at September 9, 2008 10:30 PM
Oh one other thing Drone, why did you say if someone is wearing a wedding ring on the 'right' finger. Or are you meaning right as in left? To me wearing rings on your right hand finger is normally accepted in Australia as a dress ring. Thats where I often wear my dress rings.
Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at September 9, 2008 10:30 PM
drone@9.47PM. I have been to a lot of weddings over the years and can't recall a promise the congregation makes to the couple.
I hardly think it is anyone's business if a marriage fails. It is up to the couple to seek advise or whatever support they need from whom ever they choose.
Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at September 9, 2008 10:25 PM
Rounding on the ground blowing his nose, OBD??? laughing here too.........K
Posted by: auntykaz at September 9, 2008 10:21 PM
Drone ,you truly are a man of great integrity and I admire you very much.
Posted by: thelynathdiary at September 9, 2008 10:18 PM
AuntyKaz and H2H...sorry not sure where you posted this question/discovery about Europeans and right-hand ring wearing. It's only the ORTHODOX faith, that puts the ring on the right hand. So mainly Greek Orthodox women, Russian Orthodox, maybe Coptic?? Not sure
Also to those, that think I want to belong to a harem??...think again. I am in my 40's and have been intimate with 2 men, in my whole life. So ... how many have you been intimate with? Showing cleavage, or hiding it makes no difference. It's who you are as a person...
So far, the handful of guys I have dated on here, have been lucky to get a kiss on the cheek from me...lol
And DRONE wrote....
There's nothing actually *wrong* with putting up cleavage shots, but if you're going to do that, *don't complain* about the quality of the guys that are responding, if you are looking for something serious and significant.
It's a pretty simple equation, really.
Posted by: drone at September 9, 2008 9:05 PM
Drone...how are you my frien? I respect your opinion...but keep in mind, I have not really complained about the quality, of my guys responding on RSVP? Who were you thinking of?
Posted by: starryeyez at September 9, 2008 10:18 PM
ELF - Thank you, you have eased my burden. I hope pure gold works for you.
Regards Gordon
Posted by: gordon1951 at September 9, 2008 10:09 PM
AK :) ( outbackdrifter is still rounding on the ground killing himself laughing )
Posted by: outbackdrifter at September 9, 2008 10:07 PM
Tassiedue 1 27.07 ..the teen dudes saw it at an advanced screening,,,came back raving...dedicated animation fans...count yerself as an honorary....
Posted by: ssshhh at September 9, 2008 10:05 PM
Another thing about wedding rings...
If you're wearing a wedding ring, especially on the right finger, any guy who takes the institution of marriage seriously is not going to approach you.
Now, some say that marriage is just a piece of paper, and not important, or that it's a tool of the patriarchy, or whatever.
But whatever you think about whether marriage is some connection ordained by God, or, rather, a huma-ordained institution, there is an important social element that goes with it.
Although I have never been married, I've been to plenty of weddings, and there is a really interesting part (that, unfortunately, most people in attendance seem to sleep through).
That is the part where the congregation/audience promise that they will support the marriage.
What this means is that marriage is not just a promise between the betrothed, but everyone in attendance who mouths the appropriate words, also makes a promise.
That promise entails that, if someone wants to get out of the marriage, that the people who mouthed the promise will not immediately acquiesce, and (insofar as it is sensible to do so) will try and encourage the two parties to stay together. In my case, for instance, if I have given this promise, I'm not going to automatically aid and abet one of my mates who wants to get out of a marriage.
So anyone who takes this social aspect of marriage seriously, and sees a ring on someone's finger, is going to be even less likely to approach...
If that makes any sense...
But since most people sleep through that part of the ceremony, I guess it's not really relevant after all, so...
OK, forget it... :)
Posted by: drone at September 9, 2008 9:47 PM
H2H, your question how to pick the married Europeans as they wear their rings on their right hand......
I dunno darl, l am left handed!!!
Only joking there, l didn't know that they wore them on the right hand, so there you go, l have learnt something today.;-)
I never look at mine, they are history to me and will pass them on to my daughter if she wants them..... harsh?? well maybe so, But they represent the failure of my marriage and nothing more.......
That is just me, at times a very cynical me, but there you go.....
TD if l saw you and OBD like that l would give you both a hig hankie and say "blow".....Your noses guys, your noses!!!................K
Posted by: auntykaz at September 9, 2008 9:45 PM
PS Tassie I never really sat far in the dessert but I will give it a try one day :))))))
Posted by: outbackdrifter at September 9, 2008 9:22 PM
Tassie, looks like I'll have to borrow some kids to take to see it, like H2H says :)
Posted by: willow29 at September 9, 2008 9:18 PM
Posted by: heart2heart57 at September 8, 2008 12:52 AM - re "Posted by: heart2heart57 at September 8, 2008 12:52 AM. Throughout this post you implied that you wore a ring.,," I'm sorry, but I can't see anywhere in that post that says I wear a ring....
Posted by: heart2heart57 at September 9, 2008 9:18 PM
Tassie; I dont know about Sipping on a couple of Bears but I will have a beer or two with you :))))))).
As for shedding a tear with our arms over our shoulders.
I think we will have to save that to the second date :)))))))))
Posted by: outbackdrifter at September 9, 2008 9:16 PM
Posted by: laughsandtalks at September 9, 2008 11:48 AM
Marcus, pet, you need to take a sedative and have a good lie down.
Posted by: waterbombe at September 9, 2008 9:15 PM
Re. wedding rings...
Here's what I understood about the conventions... as a male.
If someone is wearing a wedding ring, she is either married, or bereaved and in a period of mourning, and not ready to be approached for a relationship, or whatever.
Either way, if she is wearing a ring, she is off-limits.
So, yeah, if I saw a wedding ring on someone, sure, I might talk to her, but on a purely platonic basis.
Posted by: drone at September 9, 2008 9:11 PM
Good to see waterbombe back.
She is intelligent, articulate and speaks good sense.
For instance, the thing about showing cleavage...
I was interested to read that her partner, when he was on this site, fast-fowarwarded through profiles with obvious breast/cleavage shots.
That is pretty much what I do, really...
To me, the cleavage shot is the female equivalent of a guy with an open shirt.
Personally, I find it a bit tasteless. Being sexy, or whatever, has pretty much nothing to do with whether you have big breasts. Actually, now that I think about it, casting back through past personal experience, it has nothing at all to do with that.
There's nothing actually *wrong* with putting up cleavage shots, but if you're going to do that, *don't complain* about the quality of the guys that are responding, if you are looking for something serious and significant.
It's a pretty simple equation, really.
Posted by: drone at September 9, 2008 9:05 PM
Posted by: auntykaz at September 7, 2008 5:19 PM - Then how do you pick Europeans Kaz? Most of them wear the wedding ring on the RIGHT ring finger...
Posted by: heart2heart57 at September 9, 2008 8:38 PM
Ah, the Rack question ...to display or not to display? My suggestion was not to display cleavage on the site in order to deter playboys. But if you want to attract playboys, go for it...that is the way to do it.
I think cleavage is a pretty good thing, in person, and in my case it has had the desired effect many times...good on the Girls. But would I display them to every single bloke on this site? Only if I was willing to deal with a lot of guys looking only for sex, or if I wanted to be part of a harem. If I could be bothered with a lot of FWBs or with giving all those blokes the flick constantly, yeah, I'd have flashed the Girls on this site. But I wanted a to attract a guy who wanted a solid relationship, so the Girls stayed inside. Not inside a sack, just inside some attractive clothing. We've had this discussion on here before, and there are a number of women who have never been approached for sex...all are good looking women but there is nothing overtly sexual in their profiles. It seems basic common sense.
Starryeyez, look at all the things you are..."Intelligent, Passionate, Empathic, Sexy, Sassy, Articulate. Tertiary Educated, dream job, my own home, business and investement properties. Fantastic adult children, great life, wonderful circle of friends"....aren't those the things that will attract a guy for a long-term relationship? The rack is pretty irrelevant. After all, most women have one. And if a woman's rack is No 1. priority for the guy, or even No. 3 or 4. , I wish her good luck with the relationship - she'll need it.
Posted by: waterbombe at September 9, 2008 8:36 PM
Posted by: tassiedude1 at September 9, 2008 7:07 PM - I think it's called "being human"' mate *hugz*.
Posted by: outbackdrifter at September 9, 2008 7:44 PM - Um, OBD, isn't that the real reason for having children? So you can sit at the movies and watch these kind of films without other people looking at you as if you're some kind of weirdo? LoL.
Posted by: heart2heart57 at September 9, 2008 8:27 PM
Me and you Outbback
Sitting far in the dessert silhouetted by a disappearing sun over the horizon. Sipping on a couple of bears, surrounded by dingo's, lizards, a couple of big reds and shedding a tear with our arms over our shoulders.
Oh what a pair we would make. And what would the others say?
Posted by: tassiedude1 at September 9, 2008 8:21 PM
Marctime..Marcus I notice you have not mentioned the end of the world at 5.37 tomorrow night via the man made black hole?
Why do men insist on trying ot fix something that is not brokern?
Posted by: thelynathdiary at September 9, 2008 8:16 PM
Willow I cant go into it too much. Respect for others and all but it's set in the future on earth. There is this one little robot left called Wall.e, a garbage collector. Earth has died from too much rubbish and it is Wall.e's mission to clean up the world. His one and only companion in the whole world is his friend a cockroach.
Until..... One day a space ship lands on earth and Wall.e meets a beautiful female robot, with wondrous powers, looking for signs of life on the now desolate earth.
It's the trials and tribulations of the two on their adventures and the bond that forms between such two different types of personalities. It's about bravery, courage, determination and the fact that love can accomplish anything.
Computer animated and well worth the look.
Plus cute as all hell.
Posted by: tassiedude1 at September 9, 2008 8:14 PM
Talking about kids movies does anyone know the RSVP member "Shrexy" by any chance?
Posted by: thelynathdiary at September 9, 2008 8:14 PM
Posted by: heart2heart57 at September 8, 2008 12:52 AM
Throughout this post you implied that you wore a ring.,,neither here not there to me.
My point stands..there won't be many who accept it.
As for your recent post- pieces of jewellery or pieces of furniture being passed down as heirlooms of family history are quite appropriate.
"My final thought on this matter is that if I truly love someone, and they felt the need to wear another's ring, I would want to work through it with them, rather than work against them."
Well ,you may want to, but the person I am looking for is well and truly over that stage.
I am looking for an emotionally and every other way available partner...not someone who needs professional help and is not ready for a new partner.
There are plenty of people who come to sites like RSVP expecting to find someone to magically fix their life or create the life they don't have...to do 'the work' for them or skip ever having to find who they are and what they really have to offer a relationship first.
And people wonder why things don't work out.....
Posted by: thelynathdiary at September 9, 2008 8:12 PM
Posted by: egernia at September 9, 2008 10:31 AM - Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss. You may have misunderstood me regarding rings. My entire conversation thus far has been based on rings (and other artefacts) from a failed relationship, and in no way meant to broach the delicate subject of keepsakes from a lost loved one. Those are indeed sacred, and I would never venture into talking flippantly on such a subject.
Posted by: heart2heart57 at September 9, 2008 8:05 PM
lol, I LOVE Shrek!
Posted by: willow29 at September 9, 2008 7:56 PM
Tassie, Mate very cool & seeing you have come clean so will I ................Shrek, Iceage, Finding Nemo & Happyfeet, I dont care what anyone thinks.........................They were great Movies :)))))))
Posted by: outbackdrifter at September 9, 2008 7:44 PM
Well, Starrey & FP i'm not ashamed of who i am either but joining a harem isn't my idea of a relationship. Yours i assume...
Posted by: aqueousdb66 at September 9, 2008 7:33 PM
What's it about, Rod? Is it animated?
Posted by: willow29 at September 9, 2008 7:26 PM
Has anyone seen the kids movie Wall.e
Well I'm a little ashamed to admit this but here I am, near on forty, Fairly solid sort of a bloke, goatee and short/shaved head, sitting in the cinema and near on shedding a tear during the love scenes/disasters of these two robots.
My god whats happening too me?
Hay, pretty good flick too.
Posted by: tassiedude1 at September 9, 2008 7:07 PM
Jen - good on you!!
Posted by: willow29 at September 9, 2008 6:40 PM
I meant to welcome you back too Troy. Was just thinking about you the other day and wondered where you have been.
Think most of us like your down to earth, directness. lol.
Also have been missing Stoic and Spanky. Maybe I guess it could mean they have found what we are all looking for, and are now just a bit busy. Let's hope so.
Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at September 9, 2008 6:32 PM
Thanks Starryeyez. Guess it's been a bit of a reflective day for me. But we all need days like that.
Jen x
Posted by: jenniferhi at September 9, 2008 6:25 PM
Posted by: starryeyez at September 9, 2008 4:31 PM
I'm an intelligent woman. Passionate, Empathic, Sexy, Sassy, Articulate. Tertiary Educated, dream job, my own home, business and investement properties. Fantastic adult children, great life, wonderful circle of friends...and would you believe it...a NICE RACK...
Long live the Wondrebra !!!
And what do they see starryeyez...the NICE RACK!!!!!
Posted by: maestrac at September 9, 2008 6:11 PM
TOB.......I like the effect you have on this blog, keep it up mate :))))
Posted by: outbackdrifter at September 9, 2008 6:07 PM
gordon was apologising for something said off-blog. It's history.
willow, thanks....I need to find somewhere that I can bolt my feet onto or I am going to float into the stratosphere....
top 100? Don't know...but I do know 8/9/08 will not be forgotten for a long time by me...the end of the day was...well, if top 100 played any part, it is worth pure gold...
Posted by: espritlibrefemme at September 9, 2008 5:16 PM
Some profound thoughts shared by Aqueous and Waterbombe. I think you spoke for many of us .. thanks Ladies!
Junebaby I can relate to the irritation of the guys not taking NO for an answer, not reading your profile etc. I'd understand it if I was displaying cleavage .. but I purposely left those type of photos out! I'm puting it down to the surge of Spring and the SAPs rising LOL.
Will you ladies stop talking about chocolate please ? This week I'm on the healthy fruit & veg diet, with no meat, no sugar, no Caffeine, no alcohol, and as always .. no yeast no gluten! Trying to get healthy and fit for my holiday LOL
Posted by: waternymph47 at September 9, 2008 5:14 PM
After reading todays posts, I think it will be soon time to declare a state of martial law & bring back the toybox dictatorship
...............anyone for a supersoaker ? :))))))
Posted by: outbackdrifter at September 9, 2008 5:07 PM
Missgentle..@ 2.19pm .. Ditto and ditto... .."G"
Posted by: amdoingit at September 9, 2008 4:50 PM
Troy, welcome back.. Methinks you just echoed the sentiments of most males.. Nothing wrong with cleavage but there is a taseful way of showing it. Agree ??? .... "G".
Posted by: amdoingit at September 9, 2008 4:45 PM
Posted by: jenniferhi at September 9, 2008 2:09 PM
Jen I just got back from work and you had ME teary....girlfriend...I loved reading your posts today...awwwww !!!
Thank you so much for sharing that :)
Posted by: starryeyez at September 9, 2008 4:33 PM
POSTED BY TROY...
I've been away and just catching up a little. The views of some just amaze me. Remove all suggestive words or pictures from your profile in order to atteact the 'right' style of person. Is this a dating site or what? Men and women getting together but it must be non sexual....what tha? Women having pics on their profile showing cleavage "because that's all they have to offer"!!!!?? So, apparently, worthwhile women don't have breasts? Why the hell should not people present themselves in the most attractive way they wish. Get a grip complainers, relationships include sex and an attraction to the other person...male or female.
I have no reason to be ashamed of the fact that I am a man and I like women. Not just their minds and intellect. That a bit of cleavage is attractive to me, also good legs and femininity.
Troy
Posted by: troyohboy at September 9, 2008 12:47 PM
Thanks Troy !!!
I'm an intelligent woman. Passionate, Empathic, Sexy, Sassy, Articulate. Tertiary Educated, dream job, my own home, business and investement properties. Fantastic adult children, great life, wonderful circle of friends...and would you believe it...a NICE RACK...
Long live the Wondrebra !!!
Posted by: starryeyez at September 9, 2008 4:31 PM
Marcus @ 12.45.. You forgot the onion... "G"
Posted by: amdoingit at September 9, 2008 2:34 PM
I have been reading these blogs for days now and they are a wonderful source of entertainment. I think Marcus can go from crude to hilarious in 60wpm flat. Sometimes I am in hysterics with laughter at his comments, and sometimes seriously wondering where he fits into the world he inhabits. Keep it going. We have all developed a tough skin from being on this site. I think you need to, to survive it. Its also nice hearing about other people's struggles. Its nice to know we are not totally alone in that sense.
Posted by: missgentle at September 9, 2008 2:19 PM
Ok, I'm back down to earth now. lol. Have just cleared my septic. lol! That brings you to earth with a thud! (Oh, and the rings are of course off and put away safely again.) lol.
As I'm clearing the septic, I'm thinking God, I really have moved on. The things I have learnt to do being on my own. (I was married at 19 amdoingit.) And really so proud of myself and what I have achieved in that time. Ok, I have a great dad, and he has helped me out at times but I have also learnt and grown heaps, and it's all great. The house is so important to me. And because it is over 100 years old, of course often needs things doing.
I know everything will be fine and I so look forward to the future. It really will be so wonderful to share a special connection again, and until then I will enjoy the journey as the search continues.
Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at September 9, 2008 2:09 PM
Hey..Im with you Troy..my photos represent who I am..and what I am looking for..thats why I have them posted. Hopefully to attract a guy with your outlook. Thats what I want..so to read what other women are doing..good for them..but its not what I want in a relationship.
Posted by: femalepersuasion at September 9, 2008 2:01 PM
Marquis de bull, you just don't get it, do u! Women have emotions they cannot disengage. I'm sure for you, if they could they would (not).
Posted by: aqueousdb66 at September 9, 2008 1:42 PM
Epidermophyton creationstuartus: a type of blog toe fungus, tinea or jock itch first isolated in the Central Highlands region of Victoria several years ago. Characterised by gaining close inspection, lots of remedial attention, apparently disappearing, then returning itchy. May not be eradicable in the medium term. May frustrate and defeat the most patient therapists.
Stu, don't worry. I'm making fun of you in public not trying to flirt intimately..
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at September 9, 2008 1:41 PM
Ok. Sitting here with my rings on (not for long though) and thinking just how beautiful they are. What they represented back then. And really how far I have moved on. They represent my past. So much wonderful stuff in that past.
The first one that was made as a solitaire in the way I had so wanted. The wedding ring with "Two shall become one" engraved on the inside. Then my second set of rings after my family complete with the five diamonds representing the five of us. It's all part of me and my past. And no less special because it's the past. I know we live in the 'Now' but the now becomes because of the past. I so look forward to the future. The happy memories of the past give me great confidence in the future happy memories to come.
Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at September 9, 2008 1:35 PM
A mixture of posts today.. Lots of sentiment yet still lingering hostilities Hard to ignore the bait when it's dangling isn't it ??
Agree Jen, these blogs can often get us to open up and reveal heaps about ourselves. I've done it in the past ( last year) but now tend to divulge less. Maybe not less but am a little more selective about what I divulge.
Some out there collect info !!!!!
I was married at 17.. Silly I know and needless to say it didn't last. Very painful breakup and that engagement and wedding ring both took a flying lesson off the Bridge on Kwinnana F'wy (WA). Friends and family were hoffified as there was monetary value there but it was something I had to do at the time and I had no regrets.
Took me 12 years before I'd say I do again.. Rings came off the day I left.. No regrets and certainly no sentiment there either. Daughter wanted my engagement ring so she has it..
H2H.. I'm in 2 minds re passing on bad vibes. I think at the time it was bought there was feeling there so I would like to think that that feeling is what goes with it. The ring was purchased for me after she was born to replace my original one so I feel it will be good for her.
Must say though that I wouldn't pass on my wedding ring just in case.. Had a 20 year marriage with some good times but more not so good so best to err on the side of caution there. Wouldn't feel right .. It's in my box of scrap gold and I'll have it melted down soon to make something new.
Have a good one all...... "G" .
Posted by: amdoingit at September 9, 2008 1:31 PM
Jen,
I had my wedding album out a couple of weeks ago when we were discussing wedding details and my son wanted to see me as a bride. Sweet child that he is said I still look the same - I was 21 yo then and am now 42..haha.
I smiled and cringed at the wedding dress I wore :-)
Did someone mention chocolate? The universal cure for everything.
Posted by: egernia at September 9, 2008 12:58 PM
Well Jennifer, here is something to make you laugh...a couple of cynical companies are actually making money out of this issue.
The first one offers to put a big cut across your wedding ring, renames it Divorce Ring and says it is to symbolise the break in the love and charges lots to do it..(those plier things would probably work too?)
The second(and my favourite) is the purveyor of the Wedding Ring Coffin.. a beautiful coffin shaped box to symbolise the death fo the relationship...you place the rings in and then do with them what you will..perhaps a burial and cremation or a bridge tossing?
Posted by: thelynathdiary at September 9, 2008 12:56 PM
Gliteringblue, ..nothing to worried, no crisis challenges here between me and Marcus, it just a revival of one's certain tasks. He knows me well and branded me as fiesty woman but keen to me in other way.
Posted by: aliane at September 9, 2008 12:55 PM
I've been away and just catching up a little. The views of some just amaze me. Remove all suggestive words or pictures from your profile in order to atteact the 'right' style of person. Is this a dating site or what? Men and women getting together but it must be non sexual....what tha? Women having pics on their profile showing cleavage "because that's all they have to offer"!!!!?? So, apparently, worthwhile women don't have breasts? Why the hell should not people present themselves in the most attractive way they wish. Get a grip complainers, relationships include sex and an attraction to the other person...male or female.
I have no reason to be ashamed of the fact that I am a man and I like women. Not just their minds and intellect. That a bit of cleavage is attractive to me, also good legs and femininity.
Troy
Posted by: troyohboy at September 9, 2008 12:47 PM
musicteacher September 9, 2008 11:00 AM
More dubious advice from waterflambe MT. You can cook cabbage twice, the dish is called bubble and squeak. The cabbage is first boiled, then fried, with potatoes and a bit of chopped bacon.
There is nothing wrong with short term relationships either; apart from anything long ones have to start somewhere.
I listened to a 50 ish FWB date of late last week regaling me with her girlfriends doings and relationship trials and tribulations. She offered the immortal, "you men are ALL the same; you want your cake and eat it too"
As I do, I suggested that if 'we men' are all the same and our behaviour is consistent, then perhaps some women really need to have a look at their relationship expectations...
Glittering, thanks. I generally detour quietly around any accented english speakers here....
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at September 9, 2008 12:45 PM
Just thinking back too, the first time my wedding ring ever came off was at the birth of my first baby. 11 years into the marriage. I had always said it would never come off, as it meant so much. Yet here it had to come off to protect my health. I had oedema and looked like a total blimp, could have neally lost my baby. I do remember in the hospital being so torn about the taking of the ring off. But it was, and was a pretty big thing in my life. Geez, now I am going through heaps of memories today.
You know, sometimes these blogs can be so powerful, don't you think? I sit and wonder at times what people reveal about themselves. It really can be such a special place at times. Let's forget about lots of the back biting and bitching, and just think about the special people who care to share snippets of their lives. I for one, am very grateful and have grown heaps through having a little place in here. And also of course for sharing friendships amongst many of you.
God, now I'm getting teary today. But is so lovely really.
Hope everyone is enjoying their day.
Jen xxx
Posted by: jenniferhi at September 9, 2008 12:31 PM
MusicTeacher ~ I'm sorry to hear that news also. I agree Willow, chocolate for me too.
I know your strength MT and know you can handle just about anything. But stuff still hurts hey?
Jen x
Posted by: jenniferhi at September 9, 2008 12:15 PM
Hey Willow, how about a blogger's weekend meet at the snowfields?
Thanks for everyone's comments. WB, welcome back. Based on your suggestion, i have removed the offending photo because the last thing i want to appear is desperate!
Now Jenjen, surely you are not suggesting you want to be part of Marquis' harem? Flirting is one thing, but egotistical is another!
MT, hope you have chocolate on hand!
Posted by: aqueousdb66 at September 9, 2008 12:11 PM
Wedding rings ~ This has certainly drawn some interesting discussion and points of view.
One has decided to remove the ring she has still be wearing, another has told of wearing it around her neck to remember her so truly loved now deceased partner. Another talks about getting them out again to reminisce over her lost love, even though she is ready to enter a new chapter by marrying again. And even one of the men spoke of the special place he keeps his wedding ring. That past has made each and everyone of us who we are. How we deal with it is personal and part of us.
For me, I would say I like the idea of passing rings on to the children. I cannot see the ring as a symbol of a failed relationship. I see it as a symbol of a major part of my life. It's part of me. The entering of the marriage is another part of what has made me who I am. And I would say at the time my children were all conceived we were deeply in love, so therefore the symobolism of the ring meant a lot. And that would be what I would want to pass onto my children.
I understand some who have been truly hurt being in such a rage and wanting destruction of the ring. Those who toss it in anger, that sort of thing. I do get that and can empathise.
I also get that some require a ritual closure of a relationship and often a ceremony can create that closure. I have done that sort of thing in other ways in my life. Ritual stuff is very powerful.
Each of us has our own way of dealing with our past. For me memories are very important. And even though stuff has gone wrong and our relationships are over, that does not mean we cannot choose to remember the good times. What's over is over. The good and the bad. How we choose to remember is up to us.
Now, I'm just going to have another look at my rings, and you know what I might even pull out my wedding album. Beautiful memories are always still beautiful memories. They make me who I am today.
And in no way do I see this jeopardising any future relationships.
Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at September 9, 2008 12:06 PM
MT - Sorry to hear that :( Chocolate helps.
Posted by: willow29 at September 9, 2008 11:55 AM
waterbombe at September 8, 2008 9:55 PM
I doubt you are particularly concerned about my welfare somehow. I cannot imagine you worrying when you were out lunging on the piste or whatever you claimed to do. The estrogen prescriptions for me sound like acknowledgement that more men are seeing through the limited and oppressive feminised social and relationship models being pushed here. Socially and sexually aware men understand that putting a higher price on their masculinity, sometimes by reclaiming it, actually makes them more valuable to women and gives the man more choice.
Estrogen dosing is your metaphor for reversing this.
A couple of weeks ago, presumably in response to crticism here, you posted a profile for a day or so mimicking (but missing the point of) ERAL's contentious composition. I sent you an email in the identical lift-of-someone elses insight style (which you also stumbled over) requesting a look at your 2 gallery photos. You point blank refused.
This courageous response did not suprise me. Neither did your suggestion last night that you would be gratuitously sending me a big box.
Don't you think that is a bit stalkerish and socially inept to suggest you know how to find me to punish or correct my behaviour but don't have the gumption to reveal yourself? Creepy stuff.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at September 9, 2008 11:48 AM
Posted by: aliane at September 9, 2008 10:27 AM ~
Aliane, you seem like a nice person, but I don't understand all your shots at Marcus.
He may be "naturally aggressive", but he IS entitled to his own opinions on things, as we all are.
We are not here to convert anyone to our way of seeing the world, simply to discuss and share. Viva la difference!!!!!
Posted by: musicteacher at September 9, 2008 11:00 AM ~
Muse, my friend . . . If I lived in Sydney, I'd come get you and we'd go do something nice to cheer you up. What about fish n chips at the end of Balmoral warf in the sun?? Or a ferry ride to Manly Beach perhaps - get the wind in you hair and feel the freedom . . . I'm with you in spirit : )
Glitteringblue xo
Posted by: glitteringblue at September 9, 2008 11:39 AM
Hi Lynathdiary,...Thanks....same to you, my complement "magical senses of interpretation"
Cheers and warm wishes...
Posted by: aliane at September 9, 2008 11:20 AM
hello to you too Waterbombe.........yes I am aware and I tried to have this rectified........so now I will rectify it by taking my profile off.......just wanted to give the newbies a look at my mug shot.........
Funnily enough,your words have been in my thoughts the past few days............"You cannot cook a cabbage twice" you said once.I have literally just come back from breaking up with my boyfriend..........MY choice,but I still feel terrible..........he just said one too many stupid things and at the time I said to myself.........."I wish you hadn't said that".
Anyway,I need a coffee!
Posted by: musicteacher at September 9, 2008 11:00 AM
Posted by: laughsandtalks at September 8, 2008 8:57 PM
So what is a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?
No idea, I'm figuring it out as I go along...
Posted by: moniquen at September 9, 2008 10:45 AM
waterbombe wrote;
You don't have to fake vulnerability, because there's nothing more dicey than standing on two chopsticks on a sheet of ice attempting some semblance of verticality. That 'help me' vibe that men find so appealing appears automatically at times like that. It could be worth a try.....
Incidentally this works really well on rollerblades as well ;-)
Posted by: moniquen at September 9, 2008 10:39 AM
H2H
Your attitude to ring wearing is rather pessimistic but it's your own view and quite acceptable in the greater scheme.
My situation is a little different. I was happily married for 15 years and during that time my husband bought me 6 rings. Three were my wedding set and the others were for special ocassions. He died. When I finally finished mourning- actually I have never finished mourning him- I removed my rings and put them away. I have had offers from friends who were interested in buying those rings but I was perplexed as to why they thought I would ever sell them. All this conversation about rings prompted me to take a look at them again. I shed a couple of tears over my lost love but it was beautiful memories that caused the tears. That is a closed chapter of my life. I am now wearing a new engagement ring and that's the new chapter of my life.
Posted by: egernia at September 9, 2008 10:31 AM
Marcus Sweetie,
Rebirth is Symbolism in Roman Catholic, is a familiar kind found in many cultures in religion belief " A".
Cheers,
ExoticOrigin.
The mood is Buoyant and Happy, Bestow the glorious gift of life to all Universe. A perfect control of conscious and unconscious mind.
Cheers,
MoneynSex
The doctrine of solution in which all elements are combined. The Universe symbolize the four elements of ..Earth,.Air,.Fire,. Water.
Cheers,
A..Z
Destiny holds the "Key" unforeseen patterns can be generalised or specific, when gains an overall impression of enquirer's life, an event which will shape it in the future.
Cheers,
Aliane
Posted by: aliane at September 9, 2008 10:27 AM
Women do not respect, and are not attracted to sucky, compliant males.Posted by: laughsandtalks at September 8, 2008 11:36 PM
Exactly. That's absolutely true. Who is attracted to a sucky compliant person, male or female? The reason is, for me anyway, that the sucky compliant person is a passive aggressive type, who gets their power back by complaining and whining and moaning on and on and on and on. They are not direct..they don't have the courage...so they go 'underground' and whittle their partner's energy away bit by tiny bit. We've all met these people...men and women ...they are a pain in the proverbial. It's one reason I get so tired of the constant complaints on here of "I can't meet anyone"...well, hello, could it be anything to do with you? Can hundreds of people of the opposite sex ALL be wrong?
Posted by: waterbombe at September 9, 2008 10:12 AM
Thanks for the welcome, Kurli, that made my morning!
Musicteacher are you aware that you say you want a "short term relationship" on your profile? That could be the reason for the married men's approaches because that's what they want too. You may not have noticed that is still there?
Junebaby and Aqueous, I think this site is very different to 'real life' in an important way. Because its an e-smorgasbord, we open ourselves up to thousands of opportunities...that's thouands, compared to the dozens of men you meet daily in real life (most of whom are married or not your cup of tea, anyway). Many of these thousands of men who "look" at you will be guys you don't want...the players. I think you have to go to more effort to fly under the players' radar on RSVP than you do in real life, just because there are so many of them. They can be really bothersome. That's why I think removing all sexual signals, such as cleavage shots, from your profiles would solve your problems with players approaching you. I'm all for women dressing how we like, and for being attractive, and for men not having control of what we say or do in real life...you know that anyone who tried to control me would get a quick trip to the front door. But that's not the point here. The point here is how does an attractive woman fly under the players' radar so that she is only approached by men with serious intentions? Well, men who want a long term committed relationship do NOT put a lot of store in the photos...they look at the person not the photos. Players, on the other hand, look at the photos first. They are not interested in the person because they don't plan on being around for long anyway.
If I can just pass on a tip from my partner..he said when he was looking for someone on RSVP he immediately flicked past photos of women if they had boob shots.... he thought she was saying that was the best thing she had to offer, and also he said it seemed a bit desperate. Those photos put him off women more than they attracted him...there's a thought.
Perhaps the playboys on here could give us woman a few tips...tell us what attracts you in a photo and profile? That way the women who want a serious relationship would know better what to avoid.
Posted by: waterbombe at September 9, 2008 9:41 AM
laughsandtalks at September 8, 2008 11:36 PM
Marcus there is a very large difference between flirting intimately in private and making fun of someone in a public forum.
Those of us who know the difference would also know who was being a dork.
Posted by: creativestuart at September 9, 2008 9:40 AM
Posted by: waterbombe at September 8, 2008 11:39 PM - Thank you for your comments. It was something I had to do and have lifted a great burden I have carried for some weeks.
I will not slash my wrists because I love life and there is so much more to do and see. I have met some lovely ladies from RSVP. Had dinner, drinks and coffee, whatever suits them. Even a most delightful walk last sunday in the Royal Botanical Gardens. It rained on everyone except us. Love Gordon
Posted by: gordon1951 at September 9, 2008 9:23 AM
Good Morning Marcus Sweetie :) - just a reminder " Family prays together, stays together"
I think you're the luckiest man alive in RSVP blog history, I read the horoscope saying.. the secret about to revealed; A strong feminine influence, that represent most important woman in his life - " a morning star,...realm of love,...a firm foundation for the future progress. A sweepstakes of luck.... obviously relating to Aliane's personality,..exactly, I got so much "Tickets to offer", free of charged ....hehehe
Posted by: aliane at September 9, 2008 9:09 AM
Yep,yep and yep..........re RSVP guys
I received one last night by one who wanted something discreet.........and I am not single on my profile.......and another like this a few weeks ago!(attatched men).
The day before by someone who thought we could have lots of fun together.
I clearly state "don't send me kisses" but these guys are thinking they are the exceptions to the rule....they must think I amactually looking at them in my picture and sending them secret messages!
Posted by: musicteacher at September 9, 2008 8:19 AM
Posted by: laughsandtalks at September 8, 2008 11:36 PM
Spot on Marcus................maybe you understand women better than most of your numerous posts have ever suggested......:))
Posted by: jenjen57 at September 9, 2008 8:13 AM
aqueous, have to agree with you there, and boys us girls are not ganging up on you, this has been my experience with some men I have met on RSVP.
Like they talk sex in the first phone call, or msn chat...I wil not do chat any more....this is inapropriate and it has happened a number of times. SOME men can not read or are using the scatter gun approach to get laid...this week I have had 2 kisses from the same 23 year old in Wollongong, I replied to the first one, thanks, but no as the age difference is too great, he sent another one, so I just said NO!! Where on my profile does it say I want someone under 40?? or the same age as my older son!!! That is soooo gross!!!! He is now blocked.
Then an email, not a kiss, from a married man, here is my phone number, why don't you give me a call, I am free in the daytime and will travel???? WTF........where do I say I want an affair with a married man who obviously does not work!!! major eading problem there!! No response to him, he is blocked.
So the last week has been a pain on RSVP. BUT I have met many lovely men who have been gentlemen, and have 2 close friends from the experience. Not to mention the men and women I have met thru the blogs, that are now close friends.
Esprit, a couple of months ago, i kept appearing in the top 100.....and I didn't know until some blogger friends pointed it out to me...it happened frequently....but I never and still don't look at the top 100....so I found the trigger in my account settings and turned it off. It does not mean anything as I did not meet the one meant for me, I still get the same amount of views and kisses, with out the top 100. I don't think that at the age of 50 that I need to appear in any kind of popularity contest...that is run by a computer!!!!
Marcus, yep a sense of humour is a must in my book and priceless!!! I went to a drinks meeting with a guy a week ago, he sounded nice on the phone, but when I met him, I knew in the first 2 seconds that he was not for me, no smile....but I stayed for an hour as I am grown up and thought that he may be nervous and relax ...but it didn't happen, no laughs, I was able to keep the conversation going, I said a few things that got half a smile, but he had a lot of complaints about the RSVP process, women not responding to his kisses and it went on and on...I tried to ell him that women go thru the exacvt same process and experiences that he is and gee didn't I answer his when he contacted me!!! after an hour I said look sorry, I am really tired so I am going home, lovely to meet you and good luck...bye...sheesh, he will have trouble with an attitude like that on a first meeting!!!!...just my thoughts on a cold morning...jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at September 9, 2008 7:44 AM
BIG WAVE to WB!
Great to see you back.....and glad you enjoyed yourself in the snowfields.
Posted by: kurli at September 9, 2008 7:41 AM
ELF - I'll keep my fingers crossed for you :)
Posted by: willow29 at September 9, 2008 6:48 AM
Posted by: aqueousdb66 at September 8, 2008 11:01 PM
I think you might be generalizing just a litte there :))
Posted by: outbackdrifter at September 9, 2008 6:48 AM
Posted by: tassiedude1 at September 8, 2008 10:51 PM - Nor does it come with an 'instruction manual'... :)
Posted by: heart2heart57 at September 9, 2008 12:13 AM
Posted by: thelynathdiary at September 8, 2008 11:23 AM - I'm at a loss to understand where you get your information from. In an earlier post, you said "Perhaps you have never lost a really significant relationship. so can't undersatnd the enormity of letting go." If only you knew. Then you go on to say "Good luck with finding a woman who is happy that you still wear a romantic symbol given to you by another woman." Where, at any stage, did I say I'm wearing another's ring? Please don't quote me out of context.
I guess the idea I was trying to bounce around before this whole thing became convoluted is "what's the difference between wearing such a ring, and keeping it in a box in a cupboard somewhere?" I mean, what's the point? To me, if you ever go and look at it, you may as well be wearing it. The meaning is still there - not 'in your face' - but still there. That doesn't indicate closure to me, and one could see that as deceitful if one was cynical. Surely it would be better just to hock it and get something for it at the price gold is these days? And why is it 'childish' to throw it off a bridge? Some people may find such an act a ceremonial ritual and therapeutically cleansing - similar to the scattering of ashes. Each has their own way of dealing with heartache and grief.
I know for one that I could never pass down such a ring for one of my children or friends to wear. To me it would be a symbol of a failed relationship, and would carry those vibes with it. But that's just me.
Posted by: glitteringblue at September 8, 2008 12:20 PM - I can see how you would assume that some things may come across as opinionated and defensive, particularly when things are taken out of context. But it does cross the boundaries from being an open discussion towards a more personal level when people start taking liberties to make assumptions about others without the knowledge of any hard facts or having walked in their shoes.
My final thought on this matter is that if I truly love someone, and they felt the need to wear another's ring, I would want to work through it with them, rather than work against them. Who knows, it might just take the jolt of a new reality to finally break the shackles and allow closure. Going into a relationship, any relationship, with a closed set of ideals and without even bothering to try and understand the reasons for another's behaviour is a shallow way to enter into a potential new future, don't you think? Sure, it's a risk, yes. But one that I would take.
If I put a pre-condition on "she's wearing a ring, and therefore unavailable", I could have just be missed my true partner. Without ever trying. Now *that* would be sad...
Posted by: heart2heart57 at September 9, 2008 12:02 AM
aqueousdb66 at 11:01 PM: I believe you're right. At Uni in the subject Refectory 1 in 1955 I was taught by a girl who became a lifetime friend (lunched with her in Melb in Feb) :
Higgamus Hoggamus, woman's monogamous.
Hoggamus higgamus, man is polygamous.
We also know that men have one-track minds, so it is necessary to set the little heat-seeking missile on autopilot, rather than have him dithering around ineffectually under conscious control and agonising about conflicting loyalties, instead of getting on with the job. Then the next job, ....
Posted by: timewarp1 at September 8, 2008 11:48 PM
Gordon, fgs, stop slashing your wrists, what on earth did you do to ELF? Nothing awful that I could see, anyway. You just suggested she could remove herself from the Top 100 and told her how, didn't you? Where is the harm in that?
Posted by: waterbombe at September 8, 2008 11:39 PM
Stuart, you are such a Dorkus. The Duke of Dork.
Girls are the same species. They have good senses of humour and like being teased. If you stir a girl about her strong points you will be on safe ground with her; if you tease her about something she is a bit unsure of it will actually be helpful to your cause because you are not trying to please. Women do not respect, and are not attracted to sucky, compliant males. Imagine you have a harem at home and she woud be a nice addition to it. It is called flirting, not 'being rude'; try it sometime.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at September 8, 2008 11:36 PM
No, Aqueous, you are not deluding yourself, lots of RSVP guys are like that, but on the other hand lots of RSVP guys are not. The trick is to tell the difference from a profile/email/phone conversation. That's the hard bit. No advice there...it's a tough call.
But you can minimise the chance of playboys approaching you or accepting an inadvertent kiss from you. I reckon the best you can do - and this will be howled down by the Bonkin' Bros on this site - is to remove anything sexual from your profile. No cleavage shots, for example, and no talk of tactility or sensuality or anything even remotely sexual. Instead, present your personality and interests as best you can. You don't need a visible photo - I never had one, and Grego, who is partnered, said that he preferred profiles without photos. But if you have one or two, make them what our mothers would have called 'tasteful'. Fully clothed, pleasant, nice backgrounds that show an interest of yours...a beach, park, golf course, ski field...but nothing remotely sexual that will attract the playboy.
Any guy you are likely to be interested in will want a compatible woman for a relationship...so he will talk to you first to see how you get along and wait to meet you before he checks out the body bits. As a general rule of thumb, the ones who want to see full body shots or who tell you men are "visual" so you should show them what you look like are likely to be wanting sex more than they want a relationship. Don't give in to this sort of pressure, it comes from a Bonkin' Bro who is more interested in his own gratification than in your wellbeing. He may dress his views up as "real" masculinity, but he is not interested in a long term serious monogamous relationship....that's not what a 'real' man wants, according to the Bonkin' Bros.
There are plenty of guys on RSVP who are really decent, despite Stu's claims that he is one of the very few...not so. There are heaps. It's just a matter of time until you find one, or he finds you. Good luck with it all.
Posted by: waterbombe at September 8, 2008 11:32 PM
Welcome home WB.. Sounds like you had a fun time.. Pity the snow season is almost over or I'd be contemplating a trip there myself.. Oh well, there's always next year if I'm still flying solo !!!
Can you see the fields next winter. Women aplenty..All with these pitiful "help me" expressions on their faces.. Cherish the thought........"G"
Posted by: amdoingit at September 8, 2008 11:25 PM
Aqueous, you were certainly speaking for me! A lot of angst goes into this, lol.
Posted by: willow29 at September 8, 2008 11:25 PM
Aqueous... Way to go lady..... "G"
Posted by: amdoingit at September 8, 2008 11:21 PM
Thanks Gordon.
WOW ....rsvp...thank you....daren't say too much as I am scared of sending bad luck out on this one but....WOW....
He's English - we talk of what it was like being a child in England, all the little things that only two English people would know....and much more
So next week I might well just be licking my wounds, so please remind me everyone if I moan that tonight I met a soulmate and we blew each other's minds apart...
Thanks rsvp, thanks again, and thanks once more.....
Posted by: espritlibrefemme<
oh and Perth.........I have great eye sight........even from here I can see those 3 numbers embedded on your forehead!!
hahahaha!!!!
Posted by: musicteacher at September 10, 2008 1:45 PM