RSVP Blog

Hi Amber, I am on the mend, what a vicious bug this year. My daughter is now in about stage 3 although it is not hitting her as hard as me. Flu shot next year for sure. The days are brightening up here as well which helps although we are looking at another four or five days of rain this week. I am so pleased it is warning up as I absolutely hate winters, I am just no good with them. I have roses starting to bloom in the garden now which also brightens things up. I need to do a lot of weeding out the front but when that's done it will look very pretty. I have white standards in the driveway and then a Papa Meilland growing madly over the gables. The Papa is a fairly vigorous climber with large red blooms and very fragrant. Brightens my day no end to see them all in bloom as I know that summer is on the way.

Posted by: iaminperth at September 3, 2008 9:15 AM

Worse is when you're not sure if you've been dumped or not - when the email is just too cryptic, lol.

Amber - I see them 2 or 3 times a year - not much but we all get together at Christmas. It looks like a Jamboree at my folks place ;)

Posted by: willow29 at September 3, 2008 9:10 AM

I was dumped by email. Its not nice...I would rather have had a phone call (it was a long distance relationship), needless to say after a few days of simmering I called him a spineless coward..needless to say, when talking to him later he never mentioned the email but was extremely apologetic..

Posted by: inca007 at September 3, 2008 8:50 AM

Hi Vanilla,

Yep, we all have our own sense of style, however I think breaking up over the net, sms etc shows the depth of the individual using that kind of medium to end a relationship.

Posted by: okamhere at September 3, 2008 8:32 AM

Wow. I didn't even know about the blogging on here - and here I've been wasting my time online at heraldsun leaving comments all over the place...
Interesting topic� Can you dump via email? I guess everyone has their own sense of style, morals. Personally, I think it depends on the depth of the relationship.

Posted by: vanillla at September 2, 2008 5:37 PM

cadence - i personally prefer when a female im trying to get to know, or even if i had a girlfriend who had hips. I like curves on women(just my personal preference). Having said that though, im not keen on obeseity. A women for my liking has to be proportioned well.

Thats just me. Also, no i dont think you are "breakably slim", to be completely honest, i have seen your profile, and i think you have beautiful photos

Posted by: metalscott at September 2, 2008 2:34 PM

Thanks Willow,
Keep us informed. Do you see your nieces and nephews often? Sounds like you are a busy person and it will get even busier!

Perth, hope you are on the mend. Hopefully things will warm up, apparently it has been the coldest August since 1951 in Adelaide!
Did you pass the 'flu onto Tassie? (I thought cyberspace had different "bugs"!) Hope you get better quickly TD!

Posted by: riversong01 at September 1, 2008 9:25 PM

Couldn't agree more!

Posted by: amberlight58 at September 2, 2008 12:58 PM

I agree riversong01, i would never break up with someone in an sms or email! In person is the only way.

Lol @ Metalscott, what would you consider 'breakably slim'? I am about 5'5 and 58 kilos..lol

Posted by: cadence2 at September 2, 2008 8:23 AM

Dumping by sms/email is a coward's way out - but it's still ahead of dumping by silent treatment/slow chill!!

Posted by: riversong01 at September 1, 2008 9:25 PM

Posted by: metalscott at September 1, 2008 3:08 PM

Thanks Metalscott :)

Posted by: starryeyez at September 1, 2008 8:10 PM

Staryeyes - Im a rugby player, 105kg's, size 38, 6ft3". I like my girls with a little bit more than jsut skin and bones. Im a big fella.Also that some of the other bigger blokes i know like a "full" women rather than a stick figure. My dads mate turned a lady down last weekend because she was quite slim, he said: "I dont want to break you". it sounded quite funny in his accent

Posted by: metalscott at September 1, 2008 3:08 PM

Thankyou for the welcome.

I really enjoy reading how others think about issues.

It is age, how I was raised, how I was taught to behave.

Surely if someone is worth the initial "hello"...why not the "goodbye"?

Cheers

Posted by: okamhere at September 1, 2008 10:41 AM

Hi Amber, the new arrival isnt due for 5 months. I have 12 other nieces and nephews from 3 sisters. My 4 other siblings havent started breeding yet :)

Hope all the 'flu sufferers are feeling better today! First day of Spring!

Posted by: willow29 at September 1, 2008 8:59 AM

nickyboo: for you:
Hi il ya, Liam li ha denominati ed amerebbe venire a contatto. Ottengalo in tocco con sul libro della faccia con lo pseudonimo di karleene ma prego nonlo invii a questa pagina, la pace fuori.

For the english ppl it means hi and my son would like to contact you....

As requested for the Virgos to understand them better xx enjoy

VIRGO - The One that Waits
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only

***************************************************

Kiss kiss or has it now become tisK tisK ??? xx

Posted by: amourmoi08 at September 1, 2008 12:19 AM

Hi kurli. Nice to see you back, and hope the now-hidden profile is a signal of some good news in your life, that we don't need to know about.

Posted by: timewarp1 at August 31, 2008 11:51 PM

okamhere@5.23pm........Hi and welcome to the playpen!
I think you'll find that many agree with your sentiments re email announcements of breaking-up.
Unfortunately behavioural standards have slipped greatly as the cyber world has progressed......

Posted by: kurli at August 31, 2008 10:22 PM

okamhere at 5:23pm: Hi and welcome. Depends if you would have already thought that, 10 years ago. If so, it's not your age, it's decent standards for behaviour - probably from back in childhood.

Posted by: timewarp1 at August 31, 2008 6:30 PM

Hi,
I think breaking up via email incredibly rude (not to mention cowardly). What's wrong with "this isn't working for me'?

I think I am just getting old.....

Posted by: okamhere at August 31, 2008 5:23 PM

Hi Amber, I have an awful case of the flu. I struggled into work today for the first time in a week and nearly crawled out. My car was sitting downstairs and what a welcome site that was. I am getting better but this has been a really long unpleasant haul and don't want it again for a while. I am going to take your advice re the flu shot. So many people I know have had it and although they still get colds they are weeners. Monday I am going to the beach and have a lovely stroll in the sunshine, I hope, and get lots of fresh air. Probably take some bits and pieces to have a picnic afterwards. I am hoping it is warm as I need the fresh air and definitely sunshine. It's still very cold in the mornings here and then only gets to about 19 tops during the day. Never mind, I am sure I am getting better now, just need some decent beach weather and that will buck me up no end. Cottesloe dog beach is particularly good, not only is it a nice beach but it is just outside Fremantle. All the large container ships line up on the horizon waiting to go into port. On a good day you can see easily to Rottnest Island and then, of course, there are the sailboards etc. So, not only is it a nice beach for the dogs and their owners it is interesting as well, with an ever changing scenery. Every now and then you will see dolphins playing in the water fairly near to the edge. A couple more cafes on the edge wouldn't go astray though where you can tie the dogs afterwards, but hey this is WA and they don't like developments much here.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 30, 2008 7:36 PM

starryeyez at August 30, 2008 10:26 AM when I am out and wearing heels, most men are shorter than me...lol...about cleavage height
that is how it's meant to be isn't it?except for Tom Cruise maybe....he would be staring at your navel

Posted by: tallerthantom at August 30, 2008 11:30 AM

Hi Willow,
Whe is the little one due? Do you ahve other nieces and nephews?

Hi perth,
Sounds like you have a really nasty case of the 'flu.
I have had 'flu shots for years as my daughter was a severe asthmatic as a youngster and the Adelaide WCH suggested it would be a good idea to help protect her, as her getting influenza could be fatal.
I am rarely ever sick and haven't had the 'flu for years *she looks around hurriedly for some real wood to touch!*
Sure has been a cold winter down south!

Posted by: amberlight58 at August 30, 2008 10:46 AM

Posted by: amourmoi08 at August 30, 2008 8:15 AM

Thanks Amourmoi.. I really like my height...when I am out and wearing heels, most men are shorter than me...lol...about cleavage height.

But meeehhh it's all good :)

Posted by: starryeyez at August 30, 2008 10:26 AM

take 1, typed at 8.05 am- Hey starry, I hear your pain. I am a shortie and wear heals to add what I do not have in the length of legs.

My friend is also a little like you.

She is a knock out, confident, smart, loyal and funny but she is also tall and has a very hard time in meeting guys that are ones to keep anyway.lol

It is her height that I think that puts guys off and we do talk about but only for a second before we run a muck on the dance floor.

However she refuses to bow to anyone and still wears her great heels as she should...never bow to anyone as you appear you wouldn't rock on sister xx

Posted by: amourmoi08 at August 30, 2008 8:15 AM

Posted by: iaminperth at August 29, 2008 3:48 PM

(Perth I think you meant this to go into the other blog, but I will answer you here)

Perth, you look absolutely beautiful, I've seen your photo's, your not challenged in anyway, shape, or form, vertically, horizontally etc. BTW I hope you get well soon !!!

I love my height, but it does limit me. I prefer (as most women do) a man who is at least a couple of inches taller.

Also, to make it worse, I am a plus size girl (16-18) and I would feel like a beast, next to a slim. lets say 5'8" guy. My ex was 6'6" and a football player...and hey guess what, I looked petite and demure next to him...LOL...So can you sort of understand my reasoning now?

Come on all you big fellas...where are you??? LOL

Posted by: starryeyez at August 30, 2008 7:36 AM

LOL TW, I did know what you meant! I dont think I'd have much more than 25 yrs to offer but I'd like to think that they'd be pleasurable "Autumn Years" before the final "Winter of our discontent"!
As for wordiness .. if our posts on here are anything to go by .. the guys can waffle on when it suits them to. I'ts just when it comes down to the break up, most guys seem to want to cut off quick without a lingering backward glance ... and email is the perfect vehicle!

Posted by: waternymph47 at August 29, 2008 4:58 PM

Hey Starry, Are you trying to tell me I am vertically challenged - how rude !!!!!!! I think that tall woman are spectacular. They usually wear clothes better and have a mystical air about them. One of the girls I work with is 6ft in flats, has nearly black hair and the bluest eyes you have ever seen. She is fascinating to look at, totally unaware how striking she is and a heart of gold. I have often found, like a large horse or dog, taller people are usually great of temperament. Pls don't take that as an insult, I am serious. Not only am I vertically challenged, which is permanent but now I am horizontally challenged as well at the moment.........oh dear, must do something about that one.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 29, 2008 3:48 PM

1) waternymph47 at 11:52 AM, quoting me at 10.24am 27th: "I aim for about 40 or 50 years per relationship, but some women lack the staying power for that."

Gee TW I don't think I'll be around that long ... and I'm younger than you LOL!"

Touche. I was actually talking about my aim when single the first time, way back then, and to give you a smile I left it at that.

But now 40-odd years later as a recycled single, I'm still looking for a "final placement" if possible. And even a few months of partnered bliss is very desirable, as I was blahing on about in 'the man drought' this morning.

2) "Just curious .. but it seems to me.. guys are more likey to end it online with just a few short words.. while women are mosr likely to give a gentle explanation!"

Maybe women are more polite, kind and supportive, or just more wordy, and men are more taciturn, and/or more left brained - just transmit the factual message without venturing into the emotional side. Which probably isn't that kind of man's strong suit anyway.

Posted by: timewarp1 at August 29, 2008 2:06 PM

Im going to have to pass on the Sydney meeting, sorry. I'm going to save my tickets for the impending birth of my next niece/nephew. Maybe I can catch up with some of you then.

Posted by: willow29 at August 29, 2008 12:01 PM

"I aim for about 40 or 50 years per relationship, but some women lack the staying power for that."
Posted by: timewarp1 at August 27, 2008 10:24 AM
Gee TW I don't think I'll be around that long ... and I'm younger than you LOL!

amourmoi08 ..did I miss the Virgo one ???

Best of luck with your meet guys but I'm afraid I'll be in SA attending my own meet :-)
Departing Sept 17 returning October 2nd!

Just curious .. but it seems to me.. guys are more likey to end it online with just a few short words.. while women are mosr likely to give a gentle explanation!

Posted by: waternymph47 at August 29, 2008 11:52 AM

dear timewarp1 and heart2heart57 - thank u for your insight. Do you guys have insomnia?? My "gut" feeling was that this was a "good one" at last. Maybe my gut should be bigger (yuk)! I shall remember "Don't be any feller's free sample" as my personal motto. To read comments such as yours - from men - is very refreshing! If we all lived closer you two would certainly be warmly welcomed as a part of my circle of friends! Arrogant people are not tolerated! kiss kiss

Posted by: mobile3 at August 29, 2008 11:39 AM

Hiya Nicky, have you really got 5 dogs, a rabbit and a snake? :) They must keep you busy!

Posted by: willow29 at August 29, 2008 9:49 AM

Good morning all, wow have you all been busy. Hope everyone is well.

amourmoi08…Kisses back at ya all the way.. an also very nice italian…forgiv me if u r Ity but if not wer’d u learn.. c if you can understand what I wrote below.. if not reply an I will translate in another blog post!! Yes it’s a test haha..also thx for the gemini post its soo true hahaha…. if only there was a way to meet up with you, id luv to get to know you more (an ur son) HAHA?? Your on the coast right? R you closer to “Shelly” or “Avoca”??

Sydney meet? whats that all about?? Can I come hahaha…

Hey Willow29, hows it going, hope all is well!

eatsrootsandleaves your hilarious, btw im pretty sure I saw Steve the other day working at Wendys, told me now he has all the ice cream he wanted haha…

“Spero che questo funziona.
Un po 'su di me. Riempire gli spazi vuoti
Ho giocato a calcio per 8 anni con Macarthur ragazze del club di calcio. Amo il film "incubo a olmo"
Sono cresciuto in Ermington! ho due fratelli uno coniglio, un serpente e cinque cani insieme a molti altri animali domestici. I maust essere disattivata adesso devo andare in ufficio postale e dopo circa 227 lettere per il lavoro!”

Anyone else wanna give it a crack be my guest..good luck amourmio08 and anyone else haha..

Much luvink
Nicole
xox

Posted by: nickeboo at August 29, 2008 9:35 AM

maestrac...yes, send your Mam...I will sit them both under the tree with a bottle of Pimms No 1 or a nice drop of sherry.....they can compare cataracts and hips and enjoy a bit of surgery one up manship...or maybe the man drought in their age group..

I knew I could count on a "Shire Girl" to have a sense of fun......quite fond of "The Shire; God's own country"

I had better go and find a blog to post something serious now..if I must....

Posted by: thelynathdiary at August 28, 2008 8:59 PM

Where is Eral...isn't he coming to the Sydney meeting?

Posted by: waterbombe at August 28, 2008 6:09 PM

PS typed at 2.25 for MT offspring:

Happy birthday little virgo: you sweet onexxx just like me.

Also for the non english speaking bloggers amongst us xxx and they are out there:-)

i ragazzi e le ragazze vengono a questo luogo imparare come giocare piacevolmente con la gente ed imparare diventare uomo e donne che è un rischio degno prendere

In English it means : boys and girls come to this site to learn how to play nicely with other people and learn to become man and women which is a risk worth taking xxx

Posted by: amourmoi08 at August 28, 2008 2:41 PM

Does Melbourne have a bloggers meet?

Posted by: egernia at August 28, 2008 2:04 PM

MT: Love all the ideas and I will be at all three venues on the 27th xxx

Why?: Because I canxxxx

And this is for a Maestrac crown among us who is a wonder women and hangs out with good MT...

Enjoy all Libs xx

LIBRA - The Sane One
Nice to everyone they meet.
Their Love is one of a kind.
Silly, fun and sweet.
Have own unique appeal.
Most caring person you will ever meet; however, not the kind of person you want to mess with... they know how to juggle thier words so well...

You might end up crying into thier phone late at night and they will juggle mother nature to dry your tears and shake the tree.

They will find you the best darn apple picker that finds you afraid that the apples at the top of the tree, while hard to reach are worth the climb up the ladder of life for xxxx

Always good in the you know where...keep it clean....cause they like fine cotton, clean linen xxx peace out xxxx

Posted by: amourmoi08 at August 28, 2008 1:42 PM

Thanks MT, thats generous of you. I actually like the Luna park idea!

Posted by: willow29 at August 28, 2008 12:16 PM

Jewels you are most welcome xx

Posted by: amourmoi08 at August 28, 2008 12:03 PM

Maestrac.....you really make me laugh....can't wait to meet you!

I think we should just "Copy" the Brisbane bloggers and set the same date.....September 27th!

i haven't spoken to anyone yet but here is what i am thinking and it DOES NOT have to be like this...........

Mestrac would like to come during the day.i just think she wants to start getting drunk early!!!! hahah why not!!!!

Meet at my place on "THE NORTH SHORE" at 11....for cocktails and hor's derves.......

if I can get my act together,maybe we can through some king prawns on the "barbie".

After we are well and trully in party mode we can try and decide whether we want to share cabs up to some local eateries up the road...or go a little further to "The Oaks" in Neutral Bay.........If this is appealing to you,I can pre book a private room for us overlooking the courtyard.........with our own pool table.On the other hand,maybe an afternoon at Luna Park can be arranged...hahahah

If ladies form out of town would like to crash at my place for the night,that's fine...there are plenty of spare beds.

Posted by: musicteacher at August 28, 2008 11:46 AM

ELF @ 9.06pm & starry @9.31pm:

Add me to list please!
Just one query...any one living north of the river?? Or am I the only?

Posted by: kurli at August 28, 2008 10:03 AM

brilliantblue: re Sydney get together..of course,especially if they are NAUGHTY!!!!

Posted by: musicteacher at August 28, 2008 1:10 AM

Posted by: thelynathdiary at August 27, 2008 7:33 PM
and there may be someone else interesting enough to talk to or at least to sit next to Nanna.....

Hi thelynathdiary, send me the details and I'll send my mam express post on christmas eve, she'll keep your nanna occupied, she talks my head off. Come to think of it, would 3 weeks be good for you, a change is as good as a rest they say. I'll send her best clothes along.

Posted by: maestrac at August 27, 2008 11:56 PM

amourmoi thank you for the gemini blurb....jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at August 27, 2008 11:22 PM

Brilliant, I will come to Sydney for a catch up!!!! When is it supposed to be? jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at August 27, 2008 11:20 PM

Posted by: willow29 at August 27, 2008 4:23 PM - Willow - seems some wires are crossed here. I thought my comment was to Santaria. What I meant by what I said earlier is that I thought you were saying sorry for something, but there's nothing to apologise for. I don't have a beef with anyone on here. Sometimes I can be a sarcastic old blighter, but that's just my dumb sense of humour... :)

Posted by: heart2heart57 at August 27, 2008 9:44 PM

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 27, 2008 9:06 PM

Great...I look forward to meeting you all there :)

Posted by: starryeyez at August 27, 2008 9:41 PM

Amourmoi08.....The Sagittarian traits are pretty spot on!

Can anyone join in the sydney get together?

Posted by: brilliantblue at August 27, 2008 9:22 PM

Posted by: kisskat at August 27, 2008 6:24 PM - Et moi... LoL

Posted by: heart2heart57 at August 27, 2008 9:17 PM

rsvp Brisbane bloggers social night - Pig n Whistle, Saturday 27th September, starts 7:30pm, getting there early is free drink plus getting a good spot to have a hoot of a night together!!! All welcome....including any inter-staters or out-of-towners who happen to be around!
Unless I hear screams of protest, can we take this as a given for our night of meeting up with each other....and I am sure there will be more..
Perth, we will raise a glass to you, in lieu of catching up another time...

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 27, 2008 9:06 PM

When you find him ERAL remind him he owes me $100 and we called the baby SteveJr...

Now I would like to send a cheerio to my Aunty in the country and a message to all my relatives about this years family Christmas. It was my turn last year so don't even think about it.. but I think we could easily combine it with an RSVP event as " we are all individuals.".and there may be someone else interesting enough to talk to or at least to sit next to Nanna.......email me for details and my star sign suggests December 25th as being a good date for everyone.....

Posted by: thelynathdiary at August 27, 2008 7:33 PM

...don't mention the ice-cream...

Posted by: istj54 at August 27, 2008 7:07 PM

I think Ive seen him....yes, he's on my milk carton!

What's a discount sushi bar?

Posted by: willow29 at August 27, 2008 7:00 PM

MISSING

[above is a picture of my imaginary friend Steve taken about 3 yrs ago]

Last seen March 23. Frequents discount sushi bars,polka raves and RSVP blogger meets.If you see him tell him Vince is sorry about the ice cream and to come home .

(the cynic)

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at August 27, 2008 6:48 PM

Posted by: amourmoi08 at August 27, 2008 12:19 PM:

GEMINI - Irresistible
Nice.
Love is one of a kind.
Great listeners.
Very good in the 'you know where'.
Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out.
Trustworthy.
Always happy.
Loud.
Talkative.
Outgoing.
VERY FORGIVING.
Loves to make out.
Has a beautiful smile.
Generous.
Strong.&nbs p;
THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE
the one to watch grow xxxxx

finally....someone gets me! lol

Posted by: kisskat at August 27, 2008 6:24 PM

willow29 at 4:28 PM: Not picking on you at all. Just being my usual boring pedestrian elderly (etc.) self, carefully reading people's posts and trying to understand them, so I can learn from them, and thus become more attractive to the universe and whoever.

Posted by: timewarp1 at August 27, 2008 5:49 PM

What ? Willow you have nothing to apologise to me for....I have no idea what anyone is talking about. Whatever it was I must have seen the humour. Willow you are terrific, you like animals so you must be good.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 27, 2008 5:17 PM

Gee TW - give me a break - it wasn't even seven in the morning! 2.1 degrees - my brain was still frozen after feeding the horsses - but.... yes, you're right *grin*. Sorry Mobile.

Anyone I forgot to apologise to? :)

Posted by: willow29 at August 27, 2008 4:28 PM

H2H - I was saying that I was sorry to Perth for the confusion as I wasn't being serious when I responded to another comment - to which you also responded in a way I thought you meant tongue in cheek too. (So, following the same logic, if you meet online, everything you do and say can be expressed online, right?

Posted by: heart2heart57 at August 26, 2008 9:14 PM )
If that wasnt tongue in cheek, I apologise to you!

Posted by: willow29 at August 27, 2008 4:23 PM

grego7 at 1:59 PM: "dreaded"? Greg, don't you know who our readers are, and what most of their agendas include?

At least you know about 'behind the shed', Greg, which is a good start.

I had my most wonderful ever in my whole life's kiss-plus-nothing-more with my then fiance at mid-afternoon in 1963, parked behind Aubrey Muller's pigsty. Wow! The memory still makes me sigh, 45 years later.

Posted by: timewarp1 at August 27, 2008 2:50 PM

Thanks guys at 12.09 and 12.17pm.

I do occasionally get sick of being so elderly and earnest and dreary and pedestrian and longwinded and boring and .... Quick! Help me Kay and B29! What else did I forget to mention?

Posted by: timewarp1 at August 27, 2008 2:35 PM

willow29 at 6:40 AM: Did you really mean 'men' not 'women'? Seems to make better sense of the next bit.

Posted by: timewarp1 at August 27, 2008 2:22 PM

Posted by: musicteacher at August 27, 2008 12:16 PM

MT, Matcham too many snakes. Was that crawly snakes or the dreaded trouser snake?
rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at August 27, 2008 1:59 PM

Good Lord amouro8......if you are down that way you could possibly be an x-student(school) and if not,wouldn't surprise me if we know some of the same people!

Someone has to organise the Sydney meet,but so far it's you and me amouro,Eral has kept quiet on the subject..mystery man that he is.

I am happy to open up my home for an informal get together......i have strobe lights I am dying to use!!!!!

Posted by: musicteacher at August 27, 2008 1:30 PM

H2H 1.54AM You know never really thought that those type of women existed but after being on here realise that they must - thought it was only the females that suffered from the "wham bam" types. You certainly don't sound like one yourself. Pity you want the younger one :)

Posted by: lovetolaugh57 at August 27, 2008 1:21 PM

OMG: The Masters office is so busy today!!!!.

I am quickly typing......... a pretend........ very important announcement to all Australians....................... on behalf of the organisation that gives me currency to fund my social life so well... at times.....?????

I may need to send them an Email and tell them that I need more currency if I am to grace them with my current illness, under pressure, under the pump so to speak.

If the reply is not good I shall flit about to another like minded organisation. xx

Hey I did post a Gemini one on the single parents page for Saintly who I miss very much and have not seen her blogs of late...................... please Miss Saintly post a blog sometime soon ....you are in good company here xxxoooo

But for those that may not go to that community enjoy and I have had an email from a very sweet fish and ram so I will include those too... enjoy xxxxxxx

Love ya bits and where is MT is she still laughing and dancing to my soothing musical post xxxxxx???????????

GEMINI - Irresistible
Nice.
Love is one of a kind.
Great listeners.
Very good in the 'you know where'.
Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out.
Trustworthy.
Always happy.
Loud.
Talkative.
Outgoing.
VERY FORGIVING.
Loves to make out.
Has a beautiful smile.
Generous.
Strong.&nbs p;
THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE
the one to watch grow xxxxx

ARIES - The art of language is found here.
Outgoing.
Lovable.
Spontaneous.
Not one to mess with.
Funny.
Excellent kisser.&nbs p;
EXTREMELY adorable.
Loves relationships.
Addictive.
Loud
and always in good company xxxx

PISCES - The Partner for Life
Caring and kind.
Smart.
Center of attention.
High appeal.
Has the last word.
Good to find, hard to keep.
Fun to be around.
Extremely weird but in a good way.
Good sense of humor!!!
Thoughtful.
Always lets what he or she wants.
Loves to joke.
Very popular.
Silly, fun and sweet.

PS Nickeboo this is my precious cargos sign and I think you would make very good friends.. kiss back to you to honey.xxxx

Peace out funky Monkeys............hope this brings a smile to you while I wipe the sweat off the brow while earning a currency (real life one) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Looking busy so shall return later......enjoyxx

Eral Flynn: sorry I did leave out the
"wild in bed" because you took the ice bucket from the naughty room and I many just need it later on for this Sydney get together when the date is known and posted. Wouldn't miss it for the world unless I move to the moon!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Outback raise a billy and will give you the best resume one can find and will even find a better word the promiscous..............

Will end here I will end up with a frozen proflie (again) so must behave and stay out of the rsvp detention room xxxxxx

Oh I see you know MT and I live south of you.... think of naughty boys and you will find me about 1klm from there.. think beaches and National park or check out my profile I think it says where I try to live at times PS I will clear the dance card if you guys are up for a ching wag and jiggle on the dance floor for the electric bougaloo xxxxx

Posted by: amourmoi08 at August 27, 2008 12:19 PM

TW, You crack me up :))))...............

Posted by: outbackdrifter at August 27, 2008 12:17 PM

Amouro.......Central Coast,got it.

I lived in Matcham for 18 months,beautiful,but too many snakes and kept running out of water!

Posted by: musicteacher at August 27, 2008 12:16 PM

Timewarp: you are a funny guy!!!!

Posted by: musicteacher at August 27, 2008 12:09 PM

hahahahah.........you are great value Amouro!!!!

I make the psychiatrist work hard for his money!!!!! He says I have a borderline personality.........smart guy,don't you think!!!!

You say you are an hour from me.which direction? N S E or W? and are you up to a "How many cabbage rolls can you eat" competition?

We may have to meet up before the blog!

Thank you for that. Spot on!!!!

Posted by: musicteacher at August 27, 2008 12:03 PM

outbackdrifter at August 27, 2008 8:03 AM : Well picked up. One woman's 'promiscuous' is another woman's 'serial monogamy'.

I aim for about 40 or 50 years per relationship, but some women lack the staying power for that.

Posted by: timewarp1 at August 27, 2008 10:24 AM

amourmoi08 at 7:25 AM: I'm a Sag. Thank you for describing me so well, except for 2 things:

1) my pronoun is 'he' not 'she' and

2) "will take you round the block and help you off the train when she has had enough" should read "will take you round the block and help you ON the train when he has had enough."

Posted by: timewarp1 at August 27, 2008 10:20 AM

Posted by: amourmoi08 at August 27, 2008 7:25 AM

Goodmorning amouroi, thank you for the credit, deep down they are a nice bunch of kids.
as for being sick, I hope get better soon, try so home made chicken soup cooked up in the crockpot, willow & I both think it great for colds & flu.
Hmmmmmmm SAGITTARIUS well that pretty spot no, just dont know about the Promiscuous bit :))))))

Posted by: outbackdrifter at August 27, 2008 8:03 AM

amourmoi do you have a gemini description to share??? Just curious , not that I am superstitious or anything.........have a lovely day all...hump day...blisskiss ( love that ...almost as much as the one my son and I use...luvyahpz..) jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at August 27, 2008 7:53 AM

Morning all. Happy to report that I have taken an quick look over the sandpit this fine morning and it appears to be clear of any thing that might jump out of no where and it appears smooth of yesterdays foot prints xxxxxx

to a new day and new beginings I shall post as requested:-)

I will be in his Masters Office this morning chewing the fat so someone will need to be the monitor.

Credit paid where credit is due Outback you are a fine man who took care of the kiddies, naughty corner and water blaster yesterday xxxxx

The only problem was that I was and still am sick and need to have refreshments and plenty of clear stock soup to aid me in my time of need so don't forget to feed us from time to time too xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Now I am playing some soothing music for MT and the cusp.

So enjoy all and I do hope that you are enjoying them as much as I enjoy reading all of your posts xxxxxx

In order to assist in understanding all the Scopios and Sagis amongst us.

SCORPIO - The Addict
EXTREMELY adorable.
Intelligent.
Loves to joke.
Very Good sense of humor.
Energetic.
Predicts the future.
GREAT kisser.
Always get what they want (always).
Attractive.
Easy going.
Loves being in long relationships.
Talkative.
Romantic.
Caring.

and now for your flips side and quirky ways MT........

please dont bite me cause it will hurt (in my best Pauline Hanson voice)
I don't like it,,,,,,,,,please explain, he he :-) xx

SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One
Spontaneous.
High appeal.
Rare to find.
Great when found.
Loves being in long relationships.
So much love to give.
Not one to mess with.
Very pretty.
Very romantic.
Nice to everyone they meet.
Their love is one of a kind.
Silly, fun and sweet.
Have own unique appeal.
Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!!!
Not the kind of person you want to mess with - you might end up crying tears of happiness but will take you round the block and help you off the train when she has had enough .... phew hope this gets posted for you all

Peace out xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bliss kiss and hugs/waves hello to you all

Posted by: amourmoi08 at August 27, 2008 7:25 AM

Mobile, read the blogs and you will see there are a lot of caring, compassionate and empathetic women on rsvp. Just think of the others as "eliminating them from your enquiries" and keep moving on.

Posted by: willow29 at August 27, 2008 6:40 AM

mobile3 at 10:45 PM: Once upon a time there were proverbs - brief statements of the commonsense wisdom of the ordinary people. When I was at school in the 1940s they were actually taught, and a typical test question could be:

Complete the following proverbs:

1) A stitch in time ...

2) It's a long road ...

3) Better to be sure ...

4) Least said, ...

In the 1970s there was a sudden change in educational focus - proverbs and traditional similies like 'happy as a pig in mud' were declared to be BORING CLICHES, and were to be abolished immediately.

Instead, every child was to invent its own new sayings out of its own experience and from its unique point of view, because originality in expression by every person at every age was the new supreme goal for communication.

Sounded to me rather like Mao's cultural revolution, trying to get rid of all the ancient wisdom collected by Confucius, and replace it with homegrown barnyard ignorance. A good way to make the next generation of the population much easier to control, I reckon.

OK, but what's this got to do with what's been happening to you in Loveland? Plenty.

Here are some relevant ancient proverbs, as best I can remember them:

* It's all a game. As soon as you hit the jackpot, you head off to look for the next challenge - someone else to hit on.

* If you want the best crop, never risk sowing your wild oats in the same place twice.

* Do 'em and then dump 'em, before they get possessive.

* Treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen.

* A woman, a dog and a walnut tree, the more you belt 'em, the better they be.

* Come in, sucker.

* Easy come, easy go.

* "Don't you be any feller's free sample!"
...............................................................

I guess you've got a choice:

1) Ape the male players, and as soon as you've road-tested a bloke in the sack, tell him thanks for quite a good performance, but you're looking for someone who can really turn you on. Time after time, all day. So goodbye.

OR

2) Play harder to get - I guess that means slower to get. A real player is looking to maintain his batting average, so If you take too long to come across, he'll cross you off the list, instead of wasting any more time seeing if he could seduce you eventually.

But remember Dorothy Parker's famous saying "A gentleman is just a wolf with more patience."

Posted by: timewarp1 at August 27, 2008 3:48 AM

Posted by: mobile3 at August 26, 2008 10:45 PM - Well, all that one (male) can offer here is that you've been taken for a ride by all the 'sex fiend' guys out there that so many of the fems on here protest against. They exist, no doubt. And so does a female variety of the same beast.

It's been said many times before - "choose wisely" - to the point that it's becoming a cliche. We start to enter the seemingly infinite cycle of risk-trust-fail-hurt.

What's the answer? I don't know. Therein lies the paradox - give up, you lose. Keep trying - you can still lose. Being one that has sustained various failed relationships, perhaps the 'gut' feeling rises above the norm. Sure, some people can sell ice to Eskimo's, but there comes a time in our life when we start to see things as they really are.

In no way can I, nor should I, judge the way you approach your fellow 'suitors'. Having said that, perhaps this is a time that you could re-evaluate your criteria for choosing who you meet, where, and under what circumstances. This has to work for you, as much as it does for them. You being the most important part of the equation. How far you go is entirely up to you. It's sad to hear anyone being considered a 'piece of meat' - either sex.

There are things we can do to help prevent that from happening again. Yet still, that can fail too. We've all been fed that bullsh!t line, and taken the bait. How far do we go? Who knows. Don't put in, you lose. Do put 'out', you still lose.

But, somewhere along the line, there's a gentle blend of heart, head, and gut, that let's us subtly know that we're 'on the right path', or we're way off it. Listen to your heart, think with your head, and feel from your gut.

If any one of those says 'no', maybe, just maybe, you're leaving yourself wide open to more of the same. Yet if you batten down all the hatches, you can cut yourself short.

Like I said before, I don't have any answers.- "P-Plater here". And so many of us don't. Perhaps it's time to take a bit of a back-seat, re-evaluate, and tread 'softly softy' ?

Posted by: heart2heart57 at August 27, 2008 1:54 AM

Posted by: willow29 at August 26, 2008 10:05 PM - Er.. did I say something wrong? I don't see there is anyting to apologise for...

Posted by: heart2heart57 at August 27, 2008 1:03 AM

Starry........I also made that suggestion re star signs.

Amouro: I am a Scorpio but on the cusp of Sagittarius and Scorpio! We bite very hard if provoked!

Posted by: musicteacher at August 27, 2008 12:17 AM

Re comment by timewarp1 of August 25. Have you been watching my life of late? Your breaking up RSVP process of 1,2,3,4 and 5 were spot on! That is exactly what happened to me recently! True! I seem to attract these arrogant men with no manners. Dumped over the phone after a passionate weekend together!! What is wrong with these guys?? Do women have no feelings according to them??

Posted by: mobile3 at August 26, 2008 10:45 PM

Sorry Perth and Iluv2laf, Heart2Heart and I weren't serious.

(well, I wasnt...)

Posted by: willow29 at August 26, 2008 10:05 PM

Surely, Once people have met then it is taken offline and therefore any ensuing meetings or discussions should also be kept offline. It does seem entirely gutless to me for someone to be dumped online, however, if there has been no meeting or interraction then fair enough.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 26, 2008 9:46 PM

sorry - i don't agree :-) the reason we are all here is to meet someone and make some type of connection right?? so when we make contact (to any degree) then it is inappropriate to break up in such an impersonal way isn't it? besides it is plain bad manners!!

Posted by: iluv2laf at August 26, 2008 9:43 PM

HxH -I follow you - you don't have to meet up and all close contact can be done via the Metalscott method.. saves petrol I guess :)

Posted by: willow29 at August 26, 2008 9:40 PM

Posted by: santaria at August 26, 2008 7:27 PM - So, following the same logic, if you meet online, everything you do and say can be expressed online, right?

Posted by: heart2heart57 at August 26, 2008 9:14 PM

Some friends and I had this discussion recently and it was unanimous; that if you meet online you can end it online.

Posted by: santaria at August 26, 2008 7:27 PM

amour@1.14pm.......

Sorry lassie,I'm all female,but your description is pretty spot-on!

blisskiss to you!

Posted by: kurli at August 26, 2008 4:25 PM

Karina...that would be a great blog topic...

Karina can we have one about Star Signs...and if that makes a difference when searching for an ideal partner ??

I think it would be a fun topic...woohooo !!!

Posted by: starryeyez at August 26, 2008 1:40 PM

PS Niceboo - it is a fleeting moment and one in which I shall enjoy so please allow me to Indulge with an earlier post that shall remain nameless.

I am Single, Sexy and Savy at 38 years young.

I have an older son your age.

My son also is single, sexy and 19 and is in Brissy working on the Tweed Head Tunnels project so keep your eyes out for him as he is precious cargo and worth the look to say HI I spoke with your funky mum xxx

I like to think that I am well raised, have manners, well rounded, a bit twisted at times but always try to find a balance and not include the words ALL and try to use the words some...simple maths and always said with love xx

You may read all the suggestions with interest and take all the good names as you are as bright as your beautiful picture and profile... good luck and when I am up the way next I will pop in to the nearest bar and see if you are there.

Good luck and peace out xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted by: amourmoi08 at August 26, 2008 1:36 PM

Here is a posting to assist in understanding a Cancerian xxx Enjoy

CANCER - The Cutie

MOST AMAZING KISSER.
Very high appeal.
Love is one of a kind.
Very romantic.
Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative.
Extremely random and proud of it.
Freakish.
Spontaneous.
Great telling stories.
Not a fighter, but will knock your lights out if it comes down to it.
Someone you should hold on to but you have to catch em first.. xxxoooo

No who is male, single, around my age and a cancer????????????? xxxx

Posted by: amourmoi08 at August 26, 2008 1:14 PM

starryeyez & laughsandtalks

much thanks to you both, haha no need to worry I gave myself up and the RSVP crew edited my number out, shame but hey that’s the rules!!

Nicole
xox

Posted by: nickeboo at August 26, 2008 12:40 PM

Posted by: nickeboo at August 25, 2008 6:40 PM

No worries Nicky, it's your choice and you seem like a smart gal. Your the same age as my daughter...so my maternal side was coming out I guess...LOL

Posted by: starryeyez at August 26, 2008 9:12 AM

nickeboo at August 25, 2008 6:40 PM
I said to a couple of people who commented on your number that it's a bit hard to get into real trouble showing your mobile number. It's not as if its the home addy or your PIN. RSVP doen't like it because it might stop the sale of a stamp or two, not because they are particularly worried about your welfare.
You are getting advice from women old enought to be your mother, grandmother and great grandmother and grandfatherly blokes .The young guys are a bit stupid and your are 'just friends' with the cleverer one. I reckon I might offer myself up as bf material in that case.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at August 26, 2008 8:29 AM

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 25, 2008 10:38 PM - ~*just blushes*~

Posted by: heart2heart57 at August 25, 2008 11:27 PM

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 25, 2008 8:43 PM

ELF, If taken2it sees your post she will be green with envy. She is desparately trying to get her eldest daughter to do the right thing and get pregnant.

Its funny how times change. I remember it used to be mothers not wanting their daughters to get pregnant.
rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at August 25, 2008 11:18 PM

kurli...A good bar...well there are a few ones I would recommend around Brisbane...my favourite cocktail bar is the one at the end of Bowery Lane in Fortitude Valley (daren't name it or this posting probably won't happen) which is a great place to start as there are quite a few nice little bars around The Valley and New Farm to wander to from there...so any time you want to join me in the action, girlfriend, just let me know!
And H2H, geminis are bewdeful people, I am proud to cusp in your company...mwah

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 25, 2008 10:38 PM

ELF@8.27pm Sunday...............all 1960s vintage sput******..........will be repelled,trust me.!!!
(Thankx Karina for allowing Elf's posting)
But hey ELF..when you find a good bar,let me in on the location??

Posted by: kurli at August 25, 2008 10:23 PM

Jen, as if that would ever happen :-).......The crossing me bit l meant lovey....
I am usually fairly easy going and ever so much more pragmatic than l used to be, just some things fire me up is all.............K

Posted by: auntykaz at August 25, 2008 10:09 PM

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 25, 2008 8:40 PM - Careful with the Gemini comments, some of us peaches bruise easily...

Posted by: heart2heart57 at August 25, 2008 9:17 PM

And what exactly is wrong with grandfathers grego? I am younger than you and a grandma....could be heading towards a great-grandma considering what my grandson in England can be like, and that he turns 21 (yes, years, yes, grandson, not son) on September 9th this year...so if you are scared of being merely a granddad, oh boy, are you in for a few shocks once your daughters decide the time is right....they keep you young, believe it or not.

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 25, 2008 8:43 PM

kurli...cancerians....crabby when we feel like it....run sideways to avoid stuff all the time....love running out to sea at night....hide in holes and look up people's bathing suits.....have eyes that can see 360 degrees.....the grit doesn't get under our protective shell....our soft hearts sometimes get hurt if the outer shell gets cracked..... people feast on our legs....bit messy when we meet a boy crab and lots of climbing around required.....and all that changing with each shift in the moon's cycle....hmmm, and I am on the cusp of gemini so on top of all that I am Janus-faced.....at least two distinct personalities.....full of air so hard to pin onto the ground...twins!!!! (yep, let your imagination go round that one).....and then I am a dragon.....ok, ok, enough is enough!!

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 25, 2008 8:40 PM

Greg07@2.49pm.........you look after your lady's wheels man, or you will be in deeeeeeeeeeeep sh**!!!!!! when she returns!(I kid you not)
ELF @6.20pm: So-called astrologers write off we "cancerians" as changing our minds umpteen times a day...........it's not us but the GARBAGE we are fed which depletes our energy.........hang in there(in your own time)and let the rest of the world go................???

Posted by: kurli at August 25, 2008 8:05 PM

Posted by: willow29 at August 24, 2008 8:37 PM

Thanks, Willow, if you are old enough to be Nickeboo's mother, that puts me in the grandfather category. LoL.

But seriously,Nickeboo, be cautious, things are not always what they seem to be, especially on internet dating sites.
rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at August 25, 2008 7:43 PM

starryeyez at August 24, 2008 11:43 PM:Maybe easy going is code for no trouble leaving?

Posted by: timewarp1 at August 25, 2008 7:13 PM

Posted by: starryeyez at August 24, 2008 11:48 PM

So why haven't you removed it Nickee??? That's putting yourself in danger...

You will actually be surprised on how stupid the young males mind seems to be, I have plenty of males emailing me etc, we speak for more then a week and they ask for �it� I say did you read my profile?? �Yeah I did� umm well go read it again buddy and still they don�t pick it up�I mean hello are you that stupid?? then I tell them and their like oooo I thought you had written something in another language� umm such a turn off srsly� only one person was smart enough to figure it out and he is very decent, an I can say that coz we have met an I classify him as a dear friend and the same with him. I feel safe enough to have it on there, I can block people from using it anyway so yeah� But thanks for your concern much appreciated to know that there are people out there that do care. xox much luvv

***********************************************************
Customer Support - It is against our terms and conditions to post your details on your profile. Thanks for the hint :)
***********************************************************

Posted by: nickeboo at August 25, 2008 6:40 PM

Don't know why you would be worried about my health LAT, I am doing great in that area.
Kaz, great taste! Arpege...I discovered it for my wedding day, fabulous true florals..
I have found a cure for getting dumped via the internet:
1) post on a blog that you are thinking of writing a book on your experiences - the ultimate kiss and tell,
2) the approaches cease,
3) get back to living, with all its many variations - away from dating,
4) stop dating,
5) don't get dumped anymore...
You see, it's easy when you try :)
I am amazed at how much reading and study I am getting done now that I am not trying to deal with amours from rsvp....
It's great!!!
So why stay on here?? I guess I must be attached to all you blogging people and just can't drag myself away...
And what other venue would allow me to practice the acting that lynath seems to think I am doing, and get such in-depth feedback..which is not bad considering that I had no idea I was acting at all.
Ah well, I guess bloggers should know me better than I know myself, so maybe my health is in danger and I should consider hypochondria as a new personal goal..
It is kinda good not getting chased, and so not having to fret about getting dumped. I can recommend being unapproachable as a wonderful way of avoiding all possible dating pains!!!

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 25, 2008 6:20 PM

Don't think I want to cross you Kaz. lol.

But I can actually understand a lot of people not being able to express their feelings. It may be an immaturity on their part, but it also can be much deeper. Upbringing has so much to do with character building, and there can be a lot of reasons for that 'run-away' mentality.

It is very sad though to think you could be in a relationship for several years and for it to end like that. No question about that.

But I certainly can relate to the fact that sometimes the words cannot come, and it would be easier for me to express through writing. But of course I would then expect that to lead on to verbal discussion. Don't know how many times I have to get up in the middle of the night simply to write, and get my "stuff" down on paper.

I'd also say though that someone you have just met once or a few times, and one or the other realises it will go no further, does it really matter about actual contact to bring closure. I certainly don't have a problem with an email or letter in that regard. But when it has become a relationship of sorts of course you would expect a more personal closure. That is only right.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at August 25, 2008 3:12 PM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at August 25, 2008 2:37 AM

Marcus, my excuses on the cutting. I was driving Taken2it"s almost new car which she would not appreciate if I bent it. It was dark, lights on low beam, moderate traffic.

As I said am working up to it. Give me time.

I assume your discourse on tyre teads was for WBs benefit not mine.
rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at August 25, 2008 2:49 PM

ELF at August 24, 10:44 AM: Wanted to respond to this last night, but even after the adrenaline afterburn of evening tennis and winning my service to love twice in one night, I ran out of puff before 4am.

Seems there's a pattern to your disappointments, ELF, and I believe I know why. And it's not about you - it's about them, so I hope I can explain without giving you offence.

To me, the initial RSVP kiss, response, email or two and phonecall or 2 are just the mechanics of getting an agreement to a face-to-face meeting - something which I'm not egotistical or introverted enough to want to ration.

That's my first goal. And once there, I just want to enjoy starting to get to know someone new, and therefore interesting per se. Then after enjoying a few hours of face-to-face 2-way communication, I start to ask myself if I want a second meeting, and I ask her if she does.

If one of us doesn't, that's it and no hard feelings. We did have a pleasant time meeting someone new. Better than dining alone.

But if we both want to meet again, I try to arrange it there and then. And so on, meeting by meeting, till one of us has had enough. Hopefully not till many years later, if ever, ie. till death parts us..
.............................................................

There's another kind of man around, whose methodology is different, because his aims are different. He's the internet version of the Doer and Dumper.

A friend of mine used to be a Sallies phone counsellor on the evening shift. She had a man phone in late one evening, wanting to discuss a sexual problem. She went outside the guidelines and let him, and then realised quite soon that she was being used for phone sex. Told him she was hanging up so that he could concentrate on his wanking, undistracted by the need to talk to anyone.

I see the equivalent RSVP process as:

1) Find a profile that is obviously way out of your reach - a real catch/ inyerdreams girl.

2) Woo her from afar - so far afar that a meeting would be a really big effort.

3) Use each of her welcoming responses as a turn-on at the time.

4) When you've got her emotionally well-hooked, change your payoff from sex to power, and dump her. Still from a distance, and as impersonally as possible.

5) Block her immediately, so she's got no email comeback.

WB wrote an excellent magnum opus on the whole topic in the last day or two.

Boils down to Caveat emptor, and the best of British to all good-looking romantophiles, because you'll certainly need it.

I love working for myself. Can usually take most of Monday morning off. But now must hit the road. Seeyezall much later.

Posted by: timewarp1 at August 25, 2008 11:39 AM

Amberlight and Jen, avoidance may be a way of hiding from the hurt, but in the end those that do the gutless hiding KNOW what they have done and their conscience (spelling?) is their judge.
Right or wrong, l beleive that those who do not have the good grace and intestinal fortitude to actually SPEAK to let you know that their decision is thanks but no thanks are nothing but spineless creeps.
Oh, was that a bit blunt??? haha.........
Maybe they need a mirror turned on them instead......

Retail therapy for me this weekend was a bottle of Arpege.....beautiful...............K

Posted by: auntykaz at August 25, 2008 11:02 AM

esprit, i also did the retail therapy on the weekend, a new bed and mattress, upgraded to queen size, (but my old bed will go into the study, can't get rid of it cause it is over 100 years old, cast iron and brass) ...plus a bling bling ring...went to a vintage jewellery shop and bought a ring that is very 60's and I love it!!!! Retail therapy always works a treat!!!

Ignore that guy sending you the awful emails, he obviously can't read properly if he didn't get the No Thanks response in the beginning!!!

maestrac, totally agree, we are independant now, we don't need a man, but it sure nice to have a man to share you life with, who is genuine, wants to be with you and is the right one for you!!!!!!.

Lynath loved the 2 nic names...especially romanticshazza...have a lovely monday all...jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at August 25, 2008 7:22 AM

amberlight ~ 9.18PM. I tend to agree with you Amber. Avoidance of confrontation is a way of hiding from the hurt. "What the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't grieve." I think that can be very true. (There you go again with your wonderful way with words.)

I also think for a lot of people is it very hard to verbalise feelings. Writing can be a way to do that for so many. Even so, you would still assume that discussion would follow for any long or even short term relationship.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at August 25, 2008 7:19 AM

Morning again.... I am still catching up with the postings over the weekend.xxxoooo

OMG you have all been very busy over the weekend thrashing your keyboards... xx

I was busy thrashing the waves although copped a few big wipe outs but happy to report that I am still beautiful on the inside and out...nothing the Chiro can't fix..lol. ;-)))

Efemme and Nickeboo welcome back and welcome again xxxxxxxxoooooo

Never forget my sweet dear friends that should you need to sort something out this is a great outlet and you are always in good company...xxx

So keep up all the good advise as I sort out my Credit Card statement as I do not recall visiting all those expensive shops and purchasing more than I could carry.... well that is my story and I shall see if it works on my love hate relationship with my financial institution xxoooo

I may need to break up with them so that we are neither hurt and remain good friends until next month when they might let me loose a bit more??????????xxxxxxxxxx

I will have to send an email to break it off cause they give and I take......with love of course :-)

Morning Saintly hope all is well...... and good Morning to the wizard of Oz Marcus...... please post something soon so that I don't wisper to the mice that runs the server that runs this site.........phew ....

Marcus I am thinking of changing my profile name but I am thinking hard of something that won't cause my nose to bleed too much,,,,,,,,, what about Profiler08 xxxx

Peace out xxxxxxxxxxooooooooooooooo

Posted by: amourmoi08 at August 25, 2008 6:08 AM

espritlibrefemme at August 23, 2008 9:55 AM: Welcome back, but now it's a sandpit. While you were away our parents sold the playpen.

Posted by: timewarp1 at August 25, 2008 2:57 AM

espritlibrefemme August 24, 2008 8:27 PM
Back to read the reviews and for another performance I see. What is it with these older blokes getting crushes on you? Last count it was 4 in 3 months. I said to someone I was worried about your health; now I am fearful there may be a swathe of 60 and 70 yo men slowly dessicating on the end of slip knotted ropes in their shed or under their Queenslanders.

Our other resident female performer, voiceover alphaflambe takes no such risks of coming into contact with priapic hoi polloi. She can profile deconstruct and character assasinate via her bullhorn from offstage. No Actors Equity ticket needed. And no responsibility implied for any stool kicking blokes driven past despair.

Sounds like blueeyedbland hasn't had a decent service for quite a while.
Only 120 Ks over the cutting Grego? That alphaflambe approved estrogen dose is having it's effect. Disagreeing with her here on even a minor technical matter to do with tyres will have it increased substantially though..
My own last Anthony's Cutting at was at 105 Kmh and 14+ license points.
On car tyres. The 'tread' on tyres is actually a series of carefully designed connected grooves or 'sipes'. When the road is wet these work in the same way as drains, except they are not on the road, they are a rotating water pump that removes a layer of water stopping it becoming a no-friction wedge between the tyre and road surface.
Normal tyre to road grip is from the friction between the rubber and the road surface. The tread is not some sort of claw or gripper.
On high performance 'low profile' tyres the sipes are minimised in depth and number. This gives more rubber on the road for grip and less squirm (which is what you want when cornering fast). Real race tyres have no tread and very soft sticky rubber.
Road tyres that are right down to minimum height (but not showing damage like exposed steel belts) do have the best grip usually.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at August 25, 2008 2:37 AM

Posted by: willow29 at August 24, 2008 3:39 PM

LOL Willow,
I am sure that might work if we all looked like you do! :)
Me? I just wait for the RAA!

Thanks TD, you are right about the car side of things, will check tomorrow after work.

Posted by: amberlight58 at August 25, 2008 1:02 AM

Thanks bloggers, but it isn't poor ELF, and my blocked box if sooo full!!
That book is going to get written! I reckon I have some pretty amazing stories to tell, and changing the names to protect the not-so-innocent gives me leeway to write it all completely from my own viewpoint :)
La femme n'est pas morte, vive la femme!
I just find it all a bit eery how topical all these blog topics are...the rsvp folks must have a camera on my laptop...shucks, that could be embarassing! Sorry but the bubbly after being ditched for dinner tonight has really made the world look good!
Retail therapy is a remarkably good cure for all of life's ills....the dresses, the undies, the makeup, and the BLING.....despite anything I might say on here, I absolutely LURV being a woman...life is so amazingly fabulously HAPPENING, and without a man to judge me, I can wear this short lil black T-shirt dress, with my mambo multi-coloured tights showing drunken whistling dogs (how Aussie is that!), and my big dangly earrings, and my wickedly high heels, and my YSL eye shadow and my Chanel makeup, with my Gallery of Modern Art large tote bag over my shoulder, and shake my shimmy with the best of them! Sometimes it is just soooo great to be shallow! Let's go girls....

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 25, 2008 12:42 AM

Posted by: tassiedude1 at August 24, 2008 1:08 PM Anyway if I were a girl he would have to be someone pretty f***ing special before I could do a load of his washing.
So the next time you are out there trying to pick up. Think to yourself I am a privilege not a necessity. And See how you go!
Cheers Rod

Hi Rod, pretty spot on with your post. I think these days most women, once they get over the shock of being on their own, knuckle down and become very independent. And as you say we don't "need" men in our lives, but we sure as hell enjoy having them there.

Posted by: maestrac at August 25, 2008 12:41 AM

Oh, Lynath you so make me laugh........K

Posted by: auntykaz at August 25, 2008 12:01 AM

Thanx willow29 I understand perfectly

Posted by: nickeboo at August 24, 2008 10:57 PM

So why haven't you removed it Nickee??? That's putting yourself in danger...

Posted by: starryeyez at August 24, 2008 11:48 PM

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 24, 2008 8:27 PM

Poor Espirit...he's awful !!! Plus his opening line mentions he is 'easy going'...ummm...I don't think so....yuk

Posted by: starryeyez at August 24, 2008 11:43 PM

Posted by: waterbombe at August 24, 2008 7:33 PM

WB, bald tyres strictly speaking are only dangerous in the wet. A bald tyre provides better grip in the dry than a treaded tyre.

Stuart, Anthony's Cutting this evening was an easy 120kays. I think I will steadily work up the speed rather than have one big go.
rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at August 24, 2008 11:15 PM

Thanx willow29 I understand perfectly

Posted by: nickeboo at August 24, 2008 10:57 PM

oh well esprit, C'est la vie,I wonder if the french name you are currently using could have contributed to the cirque?
I suggest you change your name to bonzaaussiesheila or romanticshazza

If you get an email that you don't like then you can just go into your messages and push the 'block' button and your heart will go on....

Posted by: thelynathdiary at August 24, 2008 10:52 PM

Posted by: heart2heart57 at August 24, 2008 11:08 AM

Ouch H2H, 4 years! Pretty Horrible.
I'm not sure though that it meant your relationship meant nothing to your ex, although I am sure it feels a lot like it.
It may be like TD has said previously, some people just don't like to be around when the trigger is actually pulled and see all the pain and hurt their actions cause.
It was easier to be cowardly and pretend to herself that it didn't hurt you all that much.
You know, what the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't grieve, type of attitude.
If she couldn't see your pain then it wasn't real (for her anyway!).

I hope so anyway. It's not pleasant to think that those years meant practically nothing to her.
It's a devastating discovery.

Posted by: amberlight58 at August 24, 2008 9:18 PM

Posted by: sincrolad at August 24, 2008 2:19 PM

Yes, interpretation of any term makes quite a difference and even more so, in what context the term is actually used.
And no, sincrolad, I wouldn't.
I don't sit in judgement on other people's relationships and besides, it's absolutely none of my business!

Posted by: amberlight58 at August 24, 2008 8:59 PM

Nickeboo, welcome and seeing Im old enough to be your Mum - (and I can't say that for many bloggers!) may I suggest to be careful and if someone is interested in you, they will email. Don't leave yourself vulnerable. Others might not know what I mean, but I'm sure you do.

Posted by: willow29 at August 24, 2008 8:37 PM

Well I guess the world is full of 2-way streets...had an amazingly good day, felt sooooo great about myself....got on here and read my emails, one from a 68 year old who I have told I don't want contact with but he has still continually emailed and has kept writing until I ignored him....does that mean I dumped him? considering that I had told him no thanks (and he knows he is twelve years older than my preferred oldest age) and his email said (milder version presented here).....don't know if I am French or what but he is p*ssed off with people coming over here to act like we are too good for 'us Ausie guys' and I should p*ss off back...and more words, worse all round really...and I wonder, what is it about being 'popular' on rsvp that makes people think they have free range to pursue when told 'No thanks' then send such horrid emails??? If I get thrown over, I am at fault, some character flaw for being affected and having a big, open heart....if I don't keep being polite to someone who is this aggressive, I am at fault for being a foreigner who thinks too much of herself (this guy told me I think I am God's gift - all that insight gained from just reading my profile - gosh!)..... well, no one is going to rain on my parade....
The other blog is about risk-taking....I seem to be out there taking risks all around, and getting beaten around for doing so, but what the heck, yes, I am a romantic, and my response is that I am going out alone, partying on at a trendy bar, the kind of place that rsvp-ers are supposed to have had enough of, hence their trying to find their ideal on here (!), and I shall raise a glass or two of bubbly to being alive in this glorious place....foreigner or not....and I shall probably be taking less risks than replying to some guys on rsvp.....so I guess he thought I had 'dumped' him....
I am going to write a book one day....Virtual Bridget Jones.....so please any potential suitor who might be reading this blog...don't rain on my parade because life is tooooo short, fantastically good, and worth celebrating, rather than fighting...ok?
And kurli, watch out if a 68 year old spaceship tries to land in your yard, you know that 60s space vessel...sput.....something....just a hint..
PLEASE post this, Karina, please...

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 24, 2008 8:27 PM

Hi Guys, go easy on me im a new-b�personally I think dumping someone via email is really gutless, I mean cum on at least give me the respect and do it to my face, let me keep my dignity at least� wether you started dating online or not it is still considered in my eyes as low, it doesn�t only cause confusion, but in some cases it can cause emotional, physical and mental instability. Also if you�re going to break up via email, the person might be confused because the internet doesn�t express emotion, which in any kind of conversation plays a big part. You might receive an email saying its over I never want to see you again, ok far enough easy to understand.. But because there is no emotion it is hard to be interpreted any other way then just what it says. for example if someone actually said to me �Leave me alone I never want to see you again�, I will interpret it as I have done something wrong, something�s up, they are crying out for help, they are just in a bad mood etc..and if they sent it to me via email it would jus be Oh no what have I done wrong, Oh No please no�.It is hard to explain exactly what I mean, but its like someone will say something but mean something else and it all depends on the way you interpret it, and its hard to do that when it is written text, so if your going to dump someone at least have the courage to face them and say it don�t email it!

Posted by: nickeboo at August 24, 2008 7:47 PM

Blueyedblond, it's what you pay your mechanic for when you get a service. The RACV will come to your rescue after the accident caused by the bald tyres - if you survive it. The undertaker will come if you don't. Bald tyres are seriously dangerous, and I think that's what motivated Tassie to say something.

I like Willow's strategy for the other things that go wrong with cars. Lateral thinking, Willow...I like it!

Posted by: waterbombe at August 24, 2008 7:33 PM

Willow As long as you get there safely then no I don't have to worry about you as there is always a chance, a slim chance, that sometime in the future we may meet and become friends (friends only). If you didn't get there safely then there is no chance of that happening at all.
I know you guys are all fiercely independent and I meant no disrespect. Still, blue eye's it doesn't hurt to check. I do it all the time.
Gotta go to work now. Wish it wasn't so.

Posted by: tassiedude1 at August 24, 2008 4:29 PM

Isn't that what I pay the RACV for Rod????

Posted by: blueyedblond at August 24, 2008 3:46 PM

Thanks Rod - would you have worried about me otherwise?

Ladies, a good tip if you're ever stuck with car or tractor - Wear short demins, flip the hood up, lean into the engine bay and look helpless. Someone always comes and helps (even if you're wearing blundstones).

Posted by: willow29 at August 24, 2008 3:39 PM

Willow I am glad you have got it together and I don't need to worry about you.
For everyone else; Travel safe with your precious cargo's.
Lots of love
Rod

Posted by: tassiedude1 at August 24, 2008 3:30 PM

"So if you run your hand over the inside of the front tyres and you prick your fingers with fine metal wire THEN IT NEEDS CHANGING STRAIGHT AWAY". - that used to be me, Rod - in fact a policeman pulled me over once and cut his finger on my tyre.... luckily I just got a warning.

Today I not only service my own car, including changing oil, checking water, fluids, tyre pressure etc, but I also regularly fight - er fx - my tractor, which I learnt to drive recently. Often it wins but Im still learning.

Posted by: willow29 at August 24, 2008 3:14 PM

Posted by: amberlight58 at August 24, 2008 11:11 AM

Yes a bit disheartening, and disappointing, but I am definitely a realist in life, and you cant keep this little black (or blonde :)) duck down for long. So, I sent a message back saying "that was a bit harsh" and left it at that. And back I came to RSVP and it has been a bumpy but interesting ride so far. I am not one to indulge in much introspective navel gazing, or ponderings about the meaning of life, I am busy working, socialising, and doing things with my grown up kids, and I know I will find that "just right" bloke one day !!

Posted by: jenjen57 at August 24, 2008 3:12 PM

tolteceagle at August 24, 2008 12:15 PM . Too true, no matter if you live in Pucka or Melbourne. Remember the Daryl Somers Northern Territory commercials. You never, never know if you never never go!

Posted by: blueyedblond at August 24, 2008 3:10 PM

Amberlight58,
I guess interpretation can be an issue as you say.....
How about this:::
A married business couple who are well bonded good mates could say..." How about we arrange an shortHooKup in Paris for when your finished in London and Im finished in NY?...."
....deduction:...Some folk simply like to put a less serious slant on their quality relationship, >> that does mean it is less loyal,sincere,genuine or wholesome..... but I guess if you sat next to him or her in the Airport while they spoke to each other on the phone, you would most likely pigeon hole, judge or place a value on their realtionship purely according to your erroneous preconcieved frame of mind.

Posted by: sincrolad at August 24, 2008 2:19 PM

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 24, 2008 10:44 AM

ELF, "if someone rings continually, says they want to travel up from NSW just to meet you, keeps ringing and texting and emailing, and keeps saying how much you are someone soooo special, wants to know everything you are doing so rings and texts all the time", they (watch my lips) ARE NOT GENUINE. That's why they "dump you via an rsvp email on a Sunday morning".

I just posted about this on the Risky Blog...I don't know if it's appeared yet, but you might like to have a read. I think you are a Romantic getting done over. You don't deserve it. Don't fall for all this smooth "you are wonderful" talk...he hasn't even met you....anyone worthwhile will get to know you before he carries on like a pork chop. So to speak.

Posted by: waterbombe at August 24, 2008 1:26 PM

Amberlight.
I couldn't agree more with your entire post.
I think that the number of males out there, who still believe that a woman “needs” a man, would surprise you. That she relies on him for financial, emotional and physical support and fulfilment.
Well I'm here to tell you fellas that in this day and age there is nothing further from the truth.
Women don’t “need” guys; fair enough they would like someone to share all of their experiences with but they can get along just fine without him. In fact the amount of women who work all day, then drive to the supermarket, then go fill up the car, then drive home then cook, then feed the ravenous kids, then do the laundry and then……….
Anyway if I were a girl he would have to be someone pretty f***ing special before I could do a load of his washing.
So the next time you are out there trying to pick up. Think to yourself I am a privilege not a necessity. And See how you go!
Cheers Rod
PS. One thing you girls are not so good at is checking the tyres of your car. So if you run your hand over the inside of the front tyres and you prick your fingers with fine metal wire THEN IT NEEDS CHANGING STRAIGHT AWAY. If you are concerned that your tyres are balding then they probably are and you need free advice from a professional.
PPS Marcus.........go easy

Posted by: tassiedude1 at August 24, 2008 1:08 PM

Re:[Amberlight58 24Aug10:59]"..Sure sincrolad, I am open to the going to the "movies,eating out, having a simple beer, going overseas, or any other activity one agrees upon together, for a few days, weeks, months?." but I see that type of relationship as more of a friendship/relationship than just as a simple "hook-up".[end quote].......
If thats your interpretation of the term "short Hookup" fine, however many folk & several friends both local/global with varied lifestyles , dont share the same narrow rigid view of the term. They have no problem understanding the context of "Nice to hear from you....want to hook up and do some things next your in town?"
....
We dont base our link on promises or expectations, we simply move to the real world variable dynamics[changes] of life.
There are none so blind as those with eyes to see but choose not to.

Posted by: sincrolad at August 24, 2008 12:30 PM

Amberlight hits the proverbial nail on the head and I concur with her in all she has written. It is like the old 'Forrest Gump' analogy of the box of chocolates. If you do not want to climb the mountain remain of the bicycle path as you are not willing to face your own challenges of spirit.

Posted by: tolteceagle at August 24, 2008 12:21 PM

This is the first time for me commenting on the blog. A new experience.
I ask one simple question, where has the decency gone of treating other people how you would expect to be treat, a hackneyed cliche but true when you use the internet to break-off a relationship.
It is obvious to me that there is a lack of integrity and this person will have this lacking in their lives until they face up to owning their actions and subsequent consequences to moved forward to having a relationship which has true substance and respect.
I would look in the mirror of your soul more deeply.
I live in a very small country town and know the frustration of traveling to meet someone when there is little here, however, if you are not willing to put your toe in the water how do you know what the temperature is

Posted by: tolteceagle at August 24, 2008 12:15 PM

Sincrolad...I confess to not reading all the previous posts, so maybe I am wrong when I pick up a vibe that some are criticizing your profile...I read it and loved it..what a breath of fresh air !! You will attract a like minded woman that gets this....any one who doesn't isnt the right woman for you.

I personally like profiles that are individual and reveal the essence of a person who writes in a positive light. Mystery goes a long way too.

Some however feel they need to spell out what they will and will not tolerate..in life, with a partner, even their expectations on RSVP..to me this is a negative spin on love & life....

I have to say that the majority of profiles I read..whether male or female..talk about what they don't want..and the ones that do talk about what they want are smothered in cliches..the beach walk, the red wine, the "I look younger than my age" flotilla....dare I mention the "Im not into playing games" group that come across to me as people who have low self esteem and are therefore not capable of setting healthy boundaries.

Your profile is great..good luck.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at August 24, 2008 11:55 AM

H2H, after four years (or even 4 months) its cowardly to send an email to end a relationship. Much like the text messages people send nowadays - can't even bother to spell the message correctly!

Posted by: willow29 at August 24, 2008 11:35 AM

Well said, Amber. I agree completely.

Posted by: willow29 at August 24, 2008 11:32 AM

ELF, omg, that is nothing but bad form, purely and simply.........To let someone know you are no longer interested by text or email is the height of disrespect, for others and for themselves. You are far better off without people like that around your positive self.
What on earth is in the mind of someone like that l wonder? Apart from the obvious.
And what do they think of when they know that you will be at the very least mildly annoyed at their actions?
Ooohh too many questions without answers there, for who knows what they are thinking!
I think a bit of cynicism is not a bad thing to have at times, a bit like a bit of teflon coating, self protection whatever you want to call it.
Enjoy your time at the beach, put bad thoughts out of your head and have a lovely day.......................K

Posted by: auntykaz at August 24, 2008 11:24 AM

So good to see you back in the playpen,
espritLF!
I hope your retail therapy yielded some interesting booty.

Virgil: good to see you back again.

Posted by: kurli at August 24, 2008 11:23 AM

Hi Jen,
How really disheartening. I think some people just never grow up (still a panicky teenager in his own mind), or maybe once a coward always a coward!
Nine months is a quite a long time.(Virgil, how long was your relationship?) Sometimes it seems the biggest shock about the attitude some people display when you break up with them or they break up with you, is that often you thought that they were a much better person than that!
It shakes your confidence in your own judgement, because if you had realised they were such an unkind and inconsiderate person you probably wouldn't have been with them, or stayed so long with them in the first place!
Takes quite a while to trust your own judgement again, and put your "toe back into the water".
No wonder so many people are cynical!

Posted by: amberlight58 at August 24, 2008 11:11 AM

Yep - the good ole 'Dear John - bye' email. 4 years down the gurgler. Way to go... not. I'm still trying to get my head around it. I guess it's not the email itself that is hard to digest, but that it just shows how little the relationship must have been worth. Sure, it's a form of communication, but it just feels so hollow and empty. Or am I taking this the wrong way?

Posted by: heart2heart57 at August 24, 2008 11:08 AM

Hi Virgil, nice to hear from you again. Your comments to ELF (and WB's) are very true.
We should feel free to come and go as we wish!
Not very nice Virgil, at least my boyfriends from my young days had the courage to face me. Mind you, they knew me well enough to know I would be dignified and not make a "scene"!
Horrible as it is though, better they tell you than just pretend you no longer exist (or you find out after your partner just announced it to the world like some celebrities have done!)

ELF how sad for you. To be honest though, blokes who carry on like that usually prove to be exceptionally unreliable! Seem to "fall in love" just as quickly as they fall out of it!

Sorry Sincrolad?
One track mind? I simply said that if a woman was to advertise that she was interested in casual sex, she probably wouldn't have too many problems meeting blokes on RSVP!
I think most people would agree with that.
I am quite certain in my case, there may be a lot of blokes who would be happy to travel long distances to meet me!
However, because I have indicated I am more interested in a partner who has the POTENTIAL of being more than that, then many blokes think twice.
Who wants to travel many kms on a regular basis, in these days of high petrol prices?
But for a couple of no commitment sexual encounters, many blokes would think that wasn't such an expensive exercise!

I am also sure if I was to make it known I was ready to have similar "encounters" in my own small town, I wouldn't even feel the need to be on RSVP!

I am well aware that "short hookup" doesn't necessarily mean sex, but I did mean sex, in the context I was referring to the term.
Sure sincrolad, I am open to the going to the "movies,eating out, having a simple beer, going overseas, or any other activity one agrees upon together, for a few days, weeks, months?." but I see that type of relationship as more of a friendship/relationship than just as a simple "hook-up".
You may see it quite differently, I guess that is one of the variables in interpretation that makes communication so difficult in this modern world!

BTW, I certainly don't think I am not a "whole" person without a man.
I would suggest to you SL that most women on RSVP would not fall into that category!
I have been on my own for over 3 years now, as a working mum, with a new house I designed myself and a garden needing to be established, I am quite a busy person.
I don't need to prove myself to anyone!

Yes it would be nice to meet someone I could "be on the same page with", but I'll cope nicely thanks, whether it happens or not!
However, like mousaikalliope my priorities are similar.
The one thing I learned in my marriage was you can only allow yourself and your needs to be everyone's lowest priority for so long, before your spirit becomes "ill" and for your own survival things have to change or you must escape.
I would rather be single forever, than ever live in such an environment ever again!

Posted by: amberlight58 at August 24, 2008 10:59 AM

well, virgil, you mention about recognising our intrinsic value...this blog topic is very pertinent to issues with that...if someone rings continually, says they want to travel up from NSW just to meet you, keeps ringing and texting and emailing, and keeps saying how much you are someone soooo special, wants to know everything you are doing so rings and texts all the time.....then dumps you via an rsvp email on a Sunday morning, what is a person supposed to feel with regards to their intrinsic value? And this was one of the good guys.....so that is two Sundays in a row where I have been dumped via rsvp emails.....it kind of blows the weekend away...dumping by email? Does anybody actually think about the process as a whole, from go to whoah?
I am off to the Gold Coast for the day, to have some retail therapy, a lunch by the beach and watch some waves - alone. My most reliable company is myself because, let's face it, I won't consider dumping me by email.
This topic is highly pertinent to rsvp dating.

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 24, 2008 10:44 AM

"espritlibrefemme, I wonder what would make you seek permission to re-enter the playpen?... I feel we need to recognise our intrinsic value, as people" Posted by: virgil at August 23, 2008 11:55 PM

Likewise, Virgil, and if you want to go you don't have to announce your departure. When you have a pattern of departing and then returning, as you do, Esprit (three times now?), we know you will be back when you feel like it ... you are quite entitled to come and go without informing anyone of your intentions.

Posted by: waterbombe at August 24, 2008 10:39 AM

you interpreted my reasons for asking correctly virgil

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 24, 2008 10:24 AM

Posted by: virgil at August 24, 2008 12:03 AM

Middle of last year I got a "Dear John" text message. Like you, I wondered what I had done to be treated with such disregard by someone I had been seeing for 9 months. But it says a lot more about those other people that they would treat us with such little respect, than it does about you or I.

If its over its over, fair enough, but its a bit cowardly and heartless (and extremely bad manners) to end a romantic relationship by email/text message in my book.

Posted by: jenjen57 at August 24, 2008 9:55 AM

Breaking up with needy friends is so hard to do as well when we all lead busy lives and can squeeze a text o email out of the minutes we have to do so but just lose contact...

I still hand write letters to those that are dear but just not near enough to me to pop in for a chat.

No different to the chat I enjoy here.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

PS Posted by: mousaikalliope at August 23, 2008 8:59 PM
You are a new word wonder and pay tribute to your deserving credits as everyone now loves the buzz of it and sends it freely.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted by: amourmoi08 at August 24, 2008 9:52 AM

Hi Virgil,
I just read your comment posted 24/08 about being broken up with over email. You were better off without them as they seemed inconsiderate, superfical, cowardly & non-human to act in that manner.
What type of person breaks up with someone via email ?

Posted by: missright33 at August 24, 2008 9:23 AM

Breaking up modern style.

About 8 years ago, someone broke up with me on an email to my office.

That was really devastating, causing me to start smoking again, for a little while, wonder what I had done to deserve that?

Two years later I met someone wonderful, in a relationship that lasted 4 years.

Posted by: virgil at August 24, 2008 12:03 AM

espritlibrefemme

I wonder what would make you seek permission to re-enter the playpen?

I have never asked permission, yet come and go, as necessary.

I feel we need to recognise our intrinsic value, as people, that we aer never less than, or greater than others.

Posted by: virgil at August 23, 2008 11:55 PM

Sincrolad, you are So right.100% of what you need , 50% of what you desire.Sometimes we get so caught up in what we desire(or believe we should desire) that we forget what it is we need.I have learnt so much about me , and other people, in the short few months I have been on rsvp, and now have the strength , and faith in myself, to hang out for what I really want in life( and in a partner).My needs and desires are as valid as anyone elses,and I am now able to make myself as high a priority as the rest of my family, but will never be able to put my wants as a higher priority than my children. Equal priority is a huge improvement tho' .Sorry , everyone , have gone a little off subject.Laughsandtalks: Your post was spot on too.Blisskiss to you all (am glad folks liked my new word!)!

Posted by: mousaikalliope at August 23, 2008 8:59 PM

Marcus,
sometimes you get 100% of what you need even though its only 50% of what you desire.
Im convinced many folk chase relationships simply cause such action has been drummed into their subconcious ( societies mental conditioning/programming,from a very young age)..., then they grow up believing they are inadequate or incomplete if they dont have what they are "told" they should have, or at least not whats in the pretty perfect brochures, so to speak.

Posted by: sincrolad at August 23, 2008 4:51 PM

synchromesh August 23, 2008 2:26 PM
Good points there. Sometimes 50% of something (your ideal relationship) is better than 100% of nothing.
I think I can see Amber's perspective too with the various considerations involved in living in a small community.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at August 23, 2008 3:53 PM

Welcome back espritlibrefemme.

Posted by: blueyedblond at August 23, 2008 2:47 PM

Re;[amberlight58 23aug,1:19]

Yes, you are wrONG
another thing,... why the one track mind??...
...."shortHOOKup" can mean any number of things, like goin to the movies,eating out, having a simple beer, going overseas, or any other activity one agrees upon together, for a few days, weeks, months?.
Short term relationships can be just as genuine and rewarding as long term ones.
Quality means more than quantity sometimes. Pays to have an open mind and not always live in expectation of some fractured fairytail lifelong promise..... Or else become a victim of ones own desires.:):):)

Posted by: sincrolad at August 23, 2008 2:26 PM

espritlibrefemme, Good to see back in the saddle & up for the battle :)

Posted by: outbackdrifter at August 23, 2008 1:52 PM

You have made my day esprit!

I am glad you have returned...........you have many admirers here.
Rodna

Posted by: musicteacher at August 23, 2008 1:43 PM

Hey Sincrolad,
I am probably wrong, but were you in a relationship last time you blogged?
I would say that a lot of people using RSVP would be fairly realistic in their expectations.
Especially if you are one of those people who are simply looking for casual sex with different people (I imagine those looking for short-term hookups may be quite successful, especially if they made it blatantly obvious!) but for those of us with average looks and who are looking for someone with the potential to be a longer-term partner, even if you once had so-called "tickets on yourself", reality hits home fast after only a few weeks on RSVP!

But we hang in there because as the saying goes "if you're not in it, you can't win it" and for those of us living away from the more populated regions where there aren't a lot of singles, or who don't have many social opportunities, it's just another way to MAYBE meet a potential future partner.

"Whimsical fantasies" may have been what some people started out with, but I would suggest to you that there would be few of those left amongst those of us who have been here longer than 2 or 3 months!

Posted by: amberlight58 at August 23, 2008 1:19 PM

[quote] Dude I was talking about love not war [end quote]........Dont limit yourself, if you get married you can have both :):):)

IN the real world, love can be a battle field, cause like war, people often treat others like territory and a process of acquisition...add to that the fact that folk often go from heartache to heartache or (minefield to minefield).....in any case dont think for me, I didnt ask you asked you to,..ill change gears as I deem neccessary,.....you are totally unaware on my actual road conditions:):):)

Posted by: sincrolad at August 23, 2008 11:06 AM

A toe going into the water here....after getting well wishes from so many people (emails) and some really heart-warming ones too, thanks and I would like to come back to the playpen...

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 23, 2008 9:55 AM

Oh yeah... I forgot...

The Catcher in the Rye...

Remember it so well from school...

It was a nice reminder for me to see those words repeated at length, right here on an RSVP, and segued so cleverly, too.

I guess some people had lousy childhoods...

Posted by: drone at August 23, 2008 2:32 AM

Grego and Willow don't worry I'm a big boy and can handle it. The love you show for me is truly appreciated and I wont forget.
Thanks

Posted by: tassiedude1 at August 23, 2008 12:36 AM

... and the double-type was the X-X chromosome replicating...

Posted by: heart2heart57 at August 22, 2008 11:40 PM

lifebegins47 at August 22, 2008 3:56 PM
That 2% difference is not a 'rating' but a measure of the variation if you like. For instance chimps have a 300cc brain, ours is about 1100 cc. Our common ancestors last mated probably somewhere in Africa about 6 million years ago. We have different chromosome numbers; there is no chance of offspring from a hybrid mating so armorall is in the clear ;-}.
Cheers Marcus
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at August 22, 2008 10:34 PM

Posted by: waterbombe at August 21, 2008 6:56 PM:

Fascinating, isn't it, how two intellects, separated by a number of years, could come up with exactly the same words... one in a multi-million dollar grossing film, and the other right here on RSVP in a profile.

One guy has made millions from his orginality, and the other can at best hope to attract the occasional woman. Both so original, and yet, one is reaping the rewards, while the other is not.

Life is cruel, I guess...

Posted by: drone at August 22, 2008 9:26 PM

amourmoi08
Don't go counting all your lucky stars just yet. Guy's have layers don't cha know More like an onion, As Shrek would say.

Posted by: tassiedude1 at August 22, 2008 8:52 PM

ERAL. Don't Tempt me!, I can feel all the girls sighing oh no not two more handsome sexy young guys with hot bodies going gay? Now that just wouldn't do.

Posted by: tassiedude1 at August 22, 2008 8:12 PM

eral he is busy kissing me don't ya know....

just kidding have no idea where he is

Just thought I should keep you all guessing

And here is a bliss kiss and bloggers hug just for you

xxxooooxxxoooxxxoooxxxoooxxxoooxoxox

Posted by: amourmoi08 at August 22, 2008 8:09 PM

chuckles
Tassie is very nice. (what i had time to see of it in 3.5 days) . Cradle Mt. was snow topped, and luckily the weather was mild that week... next time i'll check out the Tarkine.
And the deers are passe now; its 20$us a bottle of pure tassie rainwater thats all the buzz !

and what sort of guy do you take me for ?? you haven't even sent me a kiss yet !

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at August 22, 2008 7:00 PM

ERAL I've been so dying to ask. How was your trip to Tassie? Did You see the snow covered mountain? How was the dear farming? And why didn't you blow a stamp and send me an e-mail? Would have loved to catch up for a beer. And yes the no sex policy still continues. Lol

Posted by: tassiedude1 at August 22, 2008 5:48 PM

Sincrolad I think you need to change gears.
quote]" such are the casulaties of war, no one really talks of the 3000 civilians killed by allied action in the Normandy landings, only of the final victory."[end quote]
Dude I was talking about love not war.

I'm sorry for being sarcastic. Please! It's so hard when someone quotes sentences (people often do!) as two or three sentences make a paragraph and it's the bigger picture I was looking at. And, whilst I was using some of your words my comment was not in reference to you or to you condemning anyone. "Players" have often been spoken about on here before.

Posted by: tassiedude1 at August 22, 2008 4:56 PM

Dearest TD: good to see you out of the train wreck and back on the road to life again..... and no I am not hot for TD as most of you jumped to the conclusion.

When I said I would throw a hession sack and take him out to sea that is my funny little way of saying.....I will not hurt you or judge you. You need to go and relax while I steer your boat back to the safety of the harbour away from the sharp rocks so that you may play again with all your friends here xx

LB47: Don't worry I am here girlfriend to cover your back wearing all my protective gear in preperation for his term of affection for me which I recall was amoral?????//

Where is he is late homexxxxxx send us a signal Marcus or a roar of laughter please but just be good and keep it clean xxxx

Posted by: amourmoi08 at August 22, 2008 4:43 PM

Yes, Rod, a few us were worried about you. Hope all is well.

Posted by: willow29 at August 22, 2008 4:36 PM

Posted by: tassiedude1 at August 22, 2008 12:42 PM

Rod, nice to hear from you again. Hope all is well in your neck of tthe woods.
rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at August 22, 2008 4:02 PM

In breakups, no matter how or where they come from text, on-line,phone or in person people are always hurt. I am not sure there is a gentle or painless way if it is not a mutual split.
Often the forgotten ones are the kids, be it from a marriage breakdown or a relationship that has broken down.
As single parents I think that makes us so cautious about who comes home, and after what length of time etc. Not only may the kids feel let down because they have become attatched to the partner now ex., they also have to view the sadness of the parent.
Amberlight.....again I can agree with you, am also in a small country town, and the single men here, for the most part have that status for a good reason....or so the small town rumour mill goes. But keep the hopew burning, sometimes a new face arrives in town and he smiles back at you.
Coffee here for you too if you are ever down this way, kids welcome...
Marcus, your knowledge of the sex life and domination in the animal world is amazing and a bit scary. It often seems to find its way into any thread on any topic! 2% difference in DNA between us and chimps hey, who has the higher one I wonder?? Okay ducking for cover now, hehehe
Cheers all

Posted by: lifebegins47 at August 22, 2008 3:56 PM

quote]" And what if, whist judging the tools, players, skanks and bottom dwellers, we make the mistake of convicting one of the genuine ones."[end quote] ....Such are the casulaties of war, no one really talks of the 3000 civilians killed by allied action in the Normandy landings, only of the final victory. I may be seen to be judging the tools,skanks,and bottom dwellers, but I do not condemn them,(there is a difference). They (tools,fools,etc) also have a right to exhist and a choice as to how they operate and conduct themselves, equally,others have the right to make their own dicerning judgement. ....good weekend to all.

[quote] " Hi sincrolad Good to hear from you again; although you are not sounding very positive! "[end quote] Being realistic is intelligent and more important that this positive negative BS. and saves disappointment, to be anything else than realistic is fooling oneself. Peolpe come here will all sorts of ambitions and dreams of what they are going to find, I just like to point reality out to them from time to time. Me, I dont live in a world of make believe, I came here with an open mind and no expectation, as a result I simply report my clinical findings.:):) One still wisely needs both feet firmly planted on the ground whilst you dream. Entertain whymsical fantasies at ones own peril.>>>

Posted by: sincrolad at August 22, 2008 2:23 PM

Have to agree with you TD, what about all those "Dear John" letters sent to blokes who were fighting overseas in wars?

Posted by: amberlight58 at August 22, 2008 1:21 PM

Amourmoi,
Thank you! Would love to visit if I'm ever over your way!

Hi sincrolad,
Good to hear from you again; although you are not sounding very positive!
I thought I'd give RSVP a go, because I live in a small country town and nice, half-decent unattached guys my age are not too common in most small country towns!
Those who are single tend to be single for a number of reasons and being a small town, I am aware of some of their history and why they are currently single.
I didn't go through all of the grief of leaving my unhappy marriage to end up with someone who drinks too much, takes drugs and tends to be violent!

Haven't had any success so far with RSVP, but then I never actually expected to be over-run with offers anyway!
But I have learned a lot from reading the blogs about pointers to look for.
The reality is statistically things don't look good! That is a fact.
No point in being too devastated by it, if there is someone out there for me, I hope I will meet him (one day!) whether through RSVP or maybe just socially. I am sure there are genuinely nice blokes out there, somewhere!
Meanwhile, I continue to enjoy my life, my friends, my work and especially my children, and I am grateful that I am lucky enough to have those things

Posted by: amberlight58 at August 22, 2008 1:08 PM

I am guessing that Australia Post was filled with break up letters 10 or 20 years ago. I don't think the written word has changed that much, just the delivery speed.
Seems to me there is a lot of finger pointing going on and I would be fairly confident in assuming that perhaps all of us, at some stage, have been participants in some less than "honourable" moments. It's our ability to grow, learn and try to better ourselves that separates us from the primates.
And what if, whist judging the tools, players, skanks and bottom dwellers, we make the mistake of convicting one of the genuine ones. Tis to late to resurrect someone once the executioner's axe has fallen and a potential love may have been lost.
I myself have been far too cautious in choosing whom I will break up with so maybe it's time for a change.
I have spent many wondrous hours, over my lifetime, talking with my ex's how we were going to break up and didn't love each other anymore (some people even go to counselling).
Send me the e-mail any day!

Posted by: tassiedude1 at August 22, 2008 12:42 PM

Re: {quote] " If this is a tank and you are drawing from it, you try to avoid the last inch or so where the sediment collects".[end quote] Like the old Bondi beach, it was not so much the sediment, but the "stuff" that floats(& yellow white wash) that really bothered folk :):):) Internet date sites have made me well aware of where the new Bondi outlet now leads.:):):) People can pretend and falsify all they like on the web with less fear of discovery. Truth is, If some of the people here claim to be so wonderful, exclusive & great a package, why do they find the need to be in such a common tap water place? I suppose an imaginary fools paradise for some, is better than no paradise at all. Its interesting to note that I have a girl(friend) that has no problems attracting and enjoying a very good number of some of the most intelligent,genuine,handsome,tall, successful and very openly generous Euro guys, that many girls could ever wish for, and she does not even try to do so. They find themselves gravitated toward her, simply cause she is genuinely confident honest and sincere, from the inside out, no shallow facade. And shes not rich$ and definitely no super model. Its something rare indeed and amazing to whitness. The reason for her great success is simple, shes no FAKE, as a result, genuine good falls in her lap by the grace of God.
Ultimately You reap what You sow.

Posted by: sincrolad at August 22, 2008 12:27 PM

Amourmoi

Thanks for the kiss/wave hello.
Straight back to you.

Moi a vous

Posted by: egernia at August 22, 2008 11:59 AM

Dear friend Amberlight: When you are in NSW next make sure you come to my house where you will always be welcome.

I will live to light on for you and have a cup of tea ready and waiting. xxx very well said to our funny Marcus with his funny and well meaning ways xxx

Posted by: amourmoi08 at August 22, 2008 11:45 AM

acquiesce at August 21, 2008 6:17 PM
It takes years to learn and is still bloody hard when everything is shaken up. A little sediment wont hurt anyway; you just don't want the water tank equivalent of a drowned possum. Posted by: laughsandtalks at August 22, 2008 2:56 AM

Easy answer, don't shake everything up!

Posted by: aqueousdb66 at August 22, 2008 11:40 AM

Marcus @ 7:15 AM,
Very interesting info Marcus and I am sure you would be correct about Chimpanzees, however, may I suggest to you the reason why many females in powerful leadership positions in the human world are post-reproductive, has more to do with the responsibilities of child-rearing, than simply being older and apparently less sexually attractive?

I give you an example; Natasha Stott-Despoja an obviously attractive woman, who while very young and childless was able to put huge amounts of time and energy into her party and political career. Once her children came along, she tried hard but like most mothers who have children because they want them, she didn't want to sacrifce her children's growing years.
She wanted to be there for the mile-stones and not regret later missing spending time with her children, when we all really know how short those years are in the context of most people's life-span today.
A State MP in SA, whose name I can't recall (Alzheimer's nooooooooo!) a few years ago, gave up her career for the same reason.

No matter how wonderful their partners are, most women I believe, no matter how they thought they may feel before they had children, find that they need and want to be a major part of their children's lives and not just a visitor who rushes in and out of their lives.
I have no doubt that both these women will remain involved in political and/or leadership positions in a minor way and will eventually have great contributions to make again, once their children are older!
Women who choose not to have children, obviously do not have to make these choices!

Posted by: amberlight58 at August 22, 2008 11:20 AM

Morning Marcus.... it is beer o'clock somewhere in the world so I expect that at some point today you will be spreading your good and funny little ways with someone other than us?????????????

Peace out and please don't make me hold onto the baseball bat for this posting cause you know the rules of engagement with MOIxxxx peace out xxxxxxxxhave a productive day as you always do.

Posted by: amourmoi08 at August 22, 2008 7:51 AM

to all the wombats amongst us (and there are the lucky few)

Remember the rules of engagement on this long and well troden, weary road with the numbers that we are reaching faster that I drive my car (always safely with precious cargo in my company)

1. Make sure you have a torch so you can find your way out of the burrow.

2. Make sure you other wombat has enough food for the coming spring.

3. Remember the other wombat wants to view your butt in a nice way as you leave the love nest from time to time.

xxxxxxxxxpeace out and good morning to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted by: amourmoi08 at August 22, 2008 7:48 AM

waterflambe at August 21, 2008 5:54 PM
"...we have seen it time and time again on here...it has something to do with our evolutionary history....chimpanzees do something like this apparently...."

Thought I'd pick up on the chimp/human female bit; and after all our DNA differs by less than 2%.
Jane Goodall the famous primate researcher is first credited with identifying alpha females in primate groups.

Physical strength is much less of a factor in a female Chimpanzee hierarchy than in a male hierarchy. The important traits needed to become alpha female in a Chimpanzee troop are personality and age. Conflict between females is rare. The female hierarchy studied by Franz De Waal in the 1980s was based completely on respect from inferior ranking members. Acceptance of dominance is more important to females than displaying dominance. Although the females in a Chimpanzee troop are not as powerful as the males they are able to remove objects such as food from the hands of males without resistance. De Waal suggests the females posses leverage over the males in the form of sexual and political favors. The Alpha Female often brings peace to a conflict by simply being present.

1. Age helps a female more than a male. "getting older, more experienced, and better connected offers females an advantage. Younger females arouse competition among males, which interferes with effective leadership. In human politics, too, the typical alpha female is post-reproductive: Golda Meir, Indira Gandhi, Margaret Thatcher, Angela Merkel, etc."

2. Female solidarity is the key to female leadership. "The only way to secure this support is by being sexually non-threatening, and to be perceived as a champion of female causes." Sounds a lot like Hilary Clinton. And Oprah, actually.

3. An alpha female needs to be able to rise above the parties. "The effective alpha female needs to be able to reach out beyond her inner circle, build bridges, groom rivals, all of which comes harder to females than males, who lead more opportunistic political lives."
4. "While high-status males enjoy great sex appeal, the relation between power and sex is different for females." Donatella Versace may have advised Hilary Clinton to wear dresses and skirts instead of pats, but "being attractive and feminine only gives sexual power - a flimsy basis for political power."
Copulation calls — the sounds made during sex — seem to help female primates attract as many sex partners as possible. As a survival strategy, it's a good way for a species to ensure that its genes are passed on. But a team of researchers recently discovered that female chimpanzees tend to be more discreet. A Researcher studying chimpanzees in the Budongo Forest in western Uganda noticed that, unlike other primates, female chimps did not always produce a copulation call. So Townsend decided to do a bit more research.Over a period of several months, he documented seven females involved in 287 sexual encounters. Interestingly, the females made their copulation call only about one-third of the time. Townsend realized that the chimps were suppressing copulation calls when a high-ranking female was nearby. "They work out who's in the audience," says Townsend. "They can compute rank differences between themselves and these other females, and then from that they can decide whether to produce a call or not."High-ranking female chimps have a tendency to be violent when they catch a competitor in the act, hence the secrecy. So why take the risk of making copulation calls at all?Townsend says that female chimps need to alert desirable males that they're available for breeding. A female chimp needs as many partners as possible in order to protect her future children. As Townsend points out, "If lots of high-ranking males mate with her then ultimately a lot of them will be confused as to whether they're the father or not."In other words, an adult male will not kill a baby if he thinks it might be his offspring.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at August 22, 2008 7:15 AM

acquiesce at August 21, 2008 6:17 PM
It takes years to learn and is still bloody hard when everything is shaken up. A little sediment wont hurt anyway; you just don't want the water tank equivalent of a drowned possum.

waterflambe at August 21, 2008 6:56 PM
"...have you ever watched Austin Powers' movies? If you like ERAL's posts, you'll like them...they're very similar..."
But, I think the Wombat still has his Mojo....

Posted by: laughsandtalks at August 22, 2008 2:56 AM

espritlibrefemme joyfuldelite and eleganteloquent What actress never checks the reviews?
My nephew the Nida Graduate would like you as Drama Coach in his next production

Chookers Daahling...May you always play to a full house!

Posted by: thelynathdiary at August 21, 2008 11:16 PM

re the profiles being hidden or not....you can blog either way.....like Kaz and some others have said, there are bo rules on RSVP saying you have to stop blogging...some of the bloggers are in relationships, but generally they have said this....and being an intelligent girl, I can remeber the ones that have said this in the past....I really like the blogs, and all the very different opinions on them...I also hide my profile if I am seeing someone or occaisionally for other reasons...and you can not just have a blog only profile on this site, it doesn't work, you still get kisses....

Now this is not a sexist comment, but a lot of people don't read profiles properly before they send kisses...in my case it is men who don't read mine properly...otherwise they would know that I don't smoke and how old I am...you know a couple of things that you could miss if you only looked at pictures....Just my thoughts...jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at August 21, 2008 11:14 PM

espritlibrefemme, Your Imput & insight will be missed for these blogs, I hope you find what you are looking for in life but always remember that you have mates here who will miss you

Kim

Posted by: outbackdrifter at August 21, 2008 10:18 PM

Thankyou for your compliment, Mutley4.Nice to know someone else thinks along the same lines as I do.

Posted by: mousaikalliope at August 21, 2008 9:44 PM

Lynda ~ I am going to miss your posts as well. You already know I only wish you the best in your travels.

I'm still going to believe in the magic of my dreams, just like you do.

Jen x

Posted by: jenniferhi at August 21, 2008 9:12 PM

amourmoi, Thankyou for your kind words, wasn't sure how to reply,seems to be a problem here, with friendship contact, have no stamps but would love a new friend... Blisskiss( hey a new word!) to you my new friend!

Posted by: mousaikalliope at August 21, 2008 8:52 PM

very well said mousaikalliope, I agree about the intent rather than the format and agree it is there energy to be mean or hurtfull not yours. Very cool

Posted by: mutley4 at August 21, 2008 8:21 PM

What an interesting range of comments! Personally I don't think the modus operandi is as important as the words used and the consideration(or lack of) shown for my feelings , when someone wants to end a relationship.People can be brutally cruel in person , or on the phone, and painfully sweet via email / text. It all depends on their capacity for caring and whether they wish to incur pain.Like everything to do with love (and life!) there are no right or wrong ways to do things, only what feels right to you at the time.Aslong as their is no deliberate malicious intent, or plain nastiness, then what more canI ask? I would rather stop communicating with someone ,if they are unhappy, than be wondering what is going on, because you always get a vibe and then get worried.Life is too short to worry, and there is always a new opportunity around the corner(whether on rsvp or not).If people are hurtful to you, it's their problem, not yours(it's only taken me a lifetime to accept that! ...and even now I don't always succeed in believing it , but I try!) Love and bliss to you all!

Posted by: mousaikalliope at August 21, 2008 7:47 PM

sangeetkar at 4:13pm: Welcome to you, mate. And yes, I agree! To break up except face to face isn't brave, and to do it more distantly than by phone is gutless.

But I can't quite agree with you about the computer saying No. Everyone has been blaming computers for everything, ever since we had them. But everything the computer says was typed in by a person, and they are the real culprit.

Posted by: timewarp1 at August 21, 2008 7:29 PM

Jen, have you ever watched Austin Powers' movies? If you like ERAL's posts, you'll like them...they're very similar.

Posted by: waterbombe at August 21, 2008 6:56 PM

waterbombe at August 21, 2008 5:54 PM: I agree with you. Drone's always really worth reading, and by coincidence, I almost always agree with what he says. (and some other times I don't know enough about a topic to qualify myself to judge...)

And I'm certainly too old for elitist classroom dynamics which require the alpha males to silence all nerds, geeks and females. I was already by 14.

But the people who wish that you personally had a wider range of different tubs to thump, WB, are not just music lovers.

Posted by: timewarp1 at August 21, 2008 6:24 PM

Posted by: synchromesh at August 21, 2008 11:55 AM "When you search here, you are filtering through the prime holding tank of tools and skanks you most likely intended to avoid."

Great turn of phrase syncro but a bit bleak.
If this is a tank and you are drawing from it, you try to avoid the last inch or so where the sediment collects. Cheers Marcus Posted by: laughsandtalks at August 21, 2008 3:51 PM

Now this may seem woefully naive but how do you determine what is sediment online?

Posted by: aqueousdb66 at August 21, 2008 6:17 PM

Drone, lots of us enjoy your posts....keep them coming. Some of the self-titled alpha males on here attack a new male, especially if he is popular with the women....we have seen it time and time again on here...it has something to do with our evolutionary history....chimpanzees do something like this apparently.

Posted by: waterbombe at August 21, 2008 5:54 PM

Posted by: waterbombe at August 21, 2008 4:01 PM

Well said, I cannot agree with you more...people with the attitude of intolerance ( somethimes even called as 'intelligent'...) should be ignored completely, that's the only way to stop them from spreading harful negativity under the exuse of 'freedom of speech' (freedom of speech includes responsibility towards others as well)...giving them ANY reaction is reinforcing what they are doing...

It was nice to read some positive, constructive posts. It is sure helpful to exchange opinions and experiences in a civil, non offensive way...

Posted by: piscesgirl56 at August 21, 2008 5:31 PM

Crossover Blog, The only Risk I see at the moment.............. Is getting broadside on the blog , play nice children..............& yes this is on the other blog :)

Posted by: outbackdrifter at August 21, 2008 5:18 PM

yay i'm invisible too
It's my party and i'll blog if i want to
Kenny 56/m/qld.

Posted by: tallerthantom at August 21, 2008 4:36 PM

If you have met via internet dating , had a few dates , snogged etc. then the "sorry But no go " with this one type message should be done by Phone not e mail.
Other wise "the computer says no" , literally.

Posted by: sangeetkar at August 21, 2008 4:13 PM

Here is a weird twist in the thinking of some people on this blog.

We are all here to find a relationship. That is the purpose of RSVP, isn't it? And you can write your feelings and opinions and converse with other bloggers while you look for a partner. But once you achieve that goal, and are successful in finding a partner, they're saying no one wants to hear what you think anymore. You can't blog BECAUSE the site worked well for you. Is that a bit twisted, or what? Or is it just envy?

And btw, L&T, would you give it a bone about hidden profiles. I don't give a rat's what you think and I get bored hearing the same old same old. Change the tune.

Posted by: waterbombe at August 21, 2008 4:13 PM

I've had an enjoyable morning at work, and I thought I'd just take a peek at the blogs, to find that you have all been worrying about me and what I do. While I think it's sweet of you to give me so much attention, Marcus, TW, ERAL, FP, it seems to me that you guys are a bit one-sided...there is heaps of advice and even instructions for me. It seems you guys think I should do things the way you do. HELLO. Have you heard of diversity? We are all different and no one else marches to the beat of your drum.

Who are the people on here telling others when to show their profiles, what they can and can't write, what they can and can't value? It's YOU. You are the Bossy Boots of the Blogs, not me.
BTW, there is a fundamental difference between disagreeing with an opinion, which is just saying "No, I don't agree", compared to trying to silence someone, which is saying "You should not speak"...they are not one and the same thing...you guys need to sort that one out. I do the first one but you guys do the second one. Think about it.

I'm having a busy day today and I need to get back to it but why don't you guys go out for a walk, clear your heads, and do something fun? Stop obsessing over who can and can't write, and telling people what they are allowed to say. Get out of the house, there's a whole world of people out there who are different to you, you'll enjoy it once you stop trying to boss them.

Have a lovely time on the weekend, everyone.

Posted by: waterbombe at August 21, 2008 4:01 PM

Posted by: synchromesh at August 21, 2008 11:55 AM

"When you search here, you are filtering through the prime holding tank of tools and skanks you most likely intended to avoid."

Great turn of phrase syncro but a bit bleak.
If this is a tank and you are drawing from it, you try to avoid the last inch or so where the sediment collects.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at August 21, 2008 3:51 PM

I didn't think there was rule that said that you can't blog if you are in a relationship.
Surely that doesn't matter, does it?
Well it doesn't to me, l am happy to read what Greg, WB, Troy and others write.....well, most of the time anyway........................K

.

Posted by: auntykaz at August 21, 2008 3:03 PM

jenniferhigh August 21, 2008 7:27 AM
I couldn't give a rat's about Waterbombe's profile per se.
It is the principle of accountability for 'political' comment I often mention and the need for an honest use of the blog spaces and reasonable respect for people in that community that is important. It is one thing to offer a neutral opinion or humorous take, as say Troyohboy, who is also out of sight does, but another to trenchantly criticise the opinions, question the facts and sometimes the character of visible bloggers while invisible (or sneak dating from a different profile). It is base behaviour. Oh, and just plain bad manners to the casual readers of her utterances.
And after all if she was interested that we see her profile she would reveal it and send a kiss but then that would make her whole stance on the hidden thing even more hypocritical.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at August 21, 2008 2:58 PM

femalepersuasion: being in a relationship does not mean that you do not have anything to offer.Some of us have been single until recently and no doubt may be single again at any time.

Posted by: musicteacher at August 21, 2008 12:40 PM

eatsrootsandleaves at 11:26 AM: But mate, how can the leopard change her spots? (Inside an evolutionary time-span, that is.)

Posted by: timewarp1 at August 21, 2008 12:09 PM

I guess you could argue your right to write on any blog. I personally would not find a need to include my opinions on any couples site, as I am single.

The question is not what you have a right to do or not..but why people who are in relationships still choose to offer their opinions on a singles dating site blog.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at August 21, 2008 11:59 AM

Considering how many fake profiles are on this site, breaking up by internet (as cold as it sounds), is more time and effort than those particular folk are worth.
When you meet someone in person somewhere, at least you can near straight away begin to more solidly determine their substance,( body language etc).
Here you waste much time,(hrs,days weeks, months) to find out something that you probably would have easily discovered in the first few minutes in the real world.
Many come here to simply hide from themselves & receive some remote unattached validation of their existence,that does not require them give anything back in return.
When you search here, you are filtering through the prime holding tank of tools and skanks you most likely intended to avoid.

Posted by: sincrolad at August 21, 2008 11:55 AM

Drone re:

he knew due to the hundreds of comments about RSVP on his very popular MySpace page.

He is a muso by the way and comes to Melbourne quite a lot.......maybe you two should meet up in Akland Street sometime...he even looks a little like you.

On Mozart.........Mozart was obsessed by sex and music and partying.....and regularly fell in love with women.

Posted by: musicteacher at August 21, 2008 11:50 AM

timewarp1

My sentiments exactly.
I hope this is truly not the end joyful/esprit. I have enjoyed your posts and your insights. Please reconsider.

Ironic. This blog topic is about breaking up internet style and that's what just happened.

Posted by: egernia at August 21, 2008 11:46 AM

Posted by: waterbombe at August 21, 2008 8:16 AM

I think you (and dddddddddroooooooonnnnnnnnne) might have confused the concept of a blog, with that of a forum.
And yes, i suppose I have done that myself in the past (haven't many of us at some time?).
But why do you need to be such a killjoy MOST of the time? Marcus's postings can and often are at least sardonically entertaining, and as most of us aren't particularly concerned with the academic value of its content, but more with the style of his delivery (often much more), it bores me to tears to read the same rhetoric again and again.

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at August 21, 2008 11:26 AM

I deeply mourn our loss of the joyful elf, because I think she may mean it this time.

Unlike Mr S. at 8.43am, her self-revelations never disturbed me - they made my heart sing, to realise that we were privileged to know the thoughts of such a beautiful soul.

I would have loved to have come to a Brisbloggersmeet where I could sit and listen to her "live".

Vale, joyful delightful elf.

Posted by: timewarp1 at August 21, 2008 11:13 AM

Perth at 8:43am: "What I find rather offensive are the amount of false profiles .... which .... turn the blog into a load of rubbish.... I think a hidden profile pales into insignificance compared to this type of person."

I have to ask: Which of your four cheeks did you have your tongue in when you said that, doll? You certainly are one cheeky puppet!

Posted by: timewarp1 at August 21, 2008 10:32 AM

There must be many many reasons why a person doesn't choose to have a visible profile and, like it or not, that is their right on this site. What I find rather offensive are the amount of false profiles, usually pushing their own sob song or overly dramatic circumstances which change the whole tone and turn the blog into a load of rubbish. I also find it disturbing at times that these people, pushing their own agenda for whatever reason, seem to bring the distressing circumstances of young children into the equasion. I think a hidden profile pales into insignificance compared to this type of person.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 21, 2008 8:43 AM

Why all the talk about players, married men, deception etc., Doesn't anyone realise that women do exactly the same thing. It's sounds all very self righteous to me to assume that only men do this kind of thing as women play around as well except the blokes don't seem to talk about it as much.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 21, 2008 8:36 AM

Posted by: heart2heart57 at August 20, 2008 11:18 PM

lol, good one h2h. but you'll be waiting a while....some people just love the (virtual) sound of their own voice!

Posted by: kisskat at August 21, 2008 8:23 AM

Posted by: qualitygal1 at August 21, 2008 1:09 AM. I think these gus are probably players...married or partnered guys on a "night out", or single guys who just want sex, sometimes for good reasons as metalscott said. That would explain their behaviour...but not excuse it...they are not treating women as if we are human beings...it's as if women are playthings to them. I don't think anyone has a right to treat someone else that carelessly.

ERAL, I'm not "ON" RSVP, I am a blogger....two different things. As it stands, people who are in relationships are permitted to blog on the RSVP site. You may wish to press to have that right removed, but I imagine you will be asked on what grounds you want to exclude people like myself, Grego, Troy, Lifebegins47, etc. And a word of advice about surveys....look at more than one day's posts and across several blogs if you are trying to identify the most prolific blogger. You will find that sometimes it has been you. But, hey, why don't you skip past posts you don't want to read? That would solve your problem. Don't say I'm not helpful :-)

Posted by: waterbombe at August 21, 2008 8:16 AM

ERAL ~ 11.36PM. Tend to agree with you. Is this the reason you have been much quieter on the blogging front? Have missed your posts heaps.

I agree with Marcus too, that the profile should be up. Waterbombe, you said the other day that it goes up from time to time. Well everytime I check, it never is! Also for someone who comes off as such a strong and assertive woman, why should there be any worries about what your partner thinks, I'm quite sure you would be able to set him straight. After all, he already knows you blog. Yes?

ERAL jump back in. I think most of us enjoy your postings immensely.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at August 21, 2008 7:27 AM

Thank you to Drone and piscesgirl. I don't work with dsabled people, drone, I work with kids who are dying, palliative work to help them cope with their grief as they have to face the most awful facts about their small selves. Their ages are as young as six.
I have been cheapening myself by buying into the expectations of the rsvp culture. One man told me it was called a "cup of tea and a f**k" site.
I spent nearly ten years celibate and alone. Doing that for the rest of my life is no longer an issue for me. I am leaving rsvp, and staying away from any forms of dating. I have far more challenging things to do with my life, and will get far richer rewards in doing so than in seeking to find kind souls in the predators on this site, present company excepted.
Good luck to everyone on here. I truly hope you find peace and joy in your lives.
I will have no idea what your responses are, or even if this posting will get made, as I am not returning to check, so be kind to each other and keep growing and never ever lose sight of the special soul you carry within.
Warmest hopes of love to each of you,
Lynda

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 21, 2008 1:44 AM

Breakups are always tough, in the real or cybernet world.
I liken the internet to the bars and clubs that singles frequent. Lots of men and women on offer, not all are going to tell you the truth straight up, some are married and on a night out and some just want pleasure for the night.
They chat you up for a while, eyes constantly scanning the room for a better deal, then may pop off to the loo or go get a drink for you, never to be seen again....It happens. Met a guy a few years ago that was with his mates, in the Casino, and they all had pagers on, if a guy was chatting up a bird and wanted out, a signal was given and his pager would go off..."oops state emergency have to run, will call you tomorrow!. Just a lack of courage and a bit of a game for them. Especially when 10 minutes later they can be seen with the next target.
No dating site should be seen as the only way to meet someone, just another tool at our disposal (hmmm excuse the pun)
Have some honest outgoing fun and be respectful of yourself and others and all will be good in the long run.
By the way, meeting one man for one date surely can not be seen as an indicator of all men on this site!!!
Cheers

Posted by: lifebegins47 at August 21, 2008 1:38 AM

Of the last 4 guys that I have had a continued online / phone relationships with. Thinking "next call will be a meet", I have received dead silence and no further contact.

This is not about a meet and you see the chemistry is not there. This is about a correspondence (and let's not forget it used to happen that way in the olden days :-) ).

To suddenly just stop communication, without a word is rudeness and cowardice in the extreme. In fact it happened to me mid chat one time.

The bloggers are a godsend, because they do give us human contact, people to laugh, disagree and have "conversations with" but for most of us, they are not potential partner people.

None the less I do enjoy your company :-)

Posted by: qualitygal1 at August 21, 2008 1:09 AM

Posted by: waterbombe at August 20, 2008 10:50 PM:
"Actually I know a fair bit about evolutionary theories, drone, but I rarely engage with Marcus over that, as I think it would get boring for others."

I dunno... maybe you should...

It could be a mistake to underestimate the interest that people may have in these things. After all, there are a lot of people with a lot of different interests reading here, I imagine, and that will not be confined to the people who are posting. If they are not interested, they can just move on to the next post. If it comes to engaging in a long and technical debate, then, yeah, it might make sense to not get too much into it, because that might take us too far adrift, so to speak.

It also depends on whether you can be bothered, or think it is worth the effort.

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 11:38 PM

Drone - we all have opinions - do yourself a favor and remember that.

Waterbombe - your one of the worse culprits when it comes to self indulgent diatribe !
Why are you even on RSVP? ( i only ask rhetorically as i know your a serial pest and others have asked to no effect- seems to me that bantering with Marcus is your shtick - but honestly - lifes too short gal )

Honestly - out of 45 posts, already...
Drone:14 posts
waterbombe: 8 posts

Perhaps you two might like to get a private room and banter obnoxiously on your own ?

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at August 20, 2008 11:36 PM

Waterbombe - youve written: " Apparently some blokes even in their 50s still WOT (want one thing)" Some of us just dont see a point to having a relationship. Whether it be because of personal issues, or personal lifestyle choices, no matter what age. BUT that wont stop us from having sex. Which is probably not a big shock to the females in these blogs, because thats what the general "vibe" is. About players

Posted by: metalscott at August 20, 2008 11:29 PM

Posted by: blueyedblond at August 20, 2008 10:39 PM:

Yes, I agree they thought about sex, but the impression I got from your post was that men are thinking about sex, above all other things, no matter what the age, they only want one thing from a woman, etc. etc.

Maybe that's not what you meant. If so, I was mistaken.

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 11:28 PM

Posted by: waterbombe at August 20, 2008 10:50 PM:

"Nah, the difference is, ERAL, that both Drone and Marcus have read stuff, but drone's knowledge has been challeged by minds equal to or better than his"

Actually, to be honest, that's quite right. In the environment that I spend most of my time, I certainly don't feel like the predominant mind, and there are people who are definitely more mentally agile and creative than I am.

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 11:23 PM

Breaking up on line...I do it every night when I disconnect my modem from this site.

Is it fair to break up via email or change your status? If you so desire. Why not?

Is it fair to date some one on line?

Don't know that it is either safe on line or off line...... wizard of oz that runs the wheels that speaks to the mouse that runs the server..................phew.... have you seen how many nuts (present company excluded) are on this site????//

Just checking in with you and your mice of servers to see if you actually read and of this garb,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

So RSVP you are soooo dropped!

I am over you, I have a better offer on the phone from India and no he does not fly a plane xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hang on I think it is fonzy looking for his Pinky chick.....wowxxxxx peace out bloggers xx

Posted by: amourmoi08 at August 20, 2008 11:20 PM

*drums fingers and patiently waits for someone - anyone - to get back on topic...*

Posted by: heart2heart57 at August 20, 2008 11:18 PM

Posted by: waterbombe at August 20, 2008 10:50 PM:

"Nah, the difference is, ERAL, that both Drone and Marcus have read stuff, but drone's knowledge has been challeged by minds equal to or better than his, and Marcus has avoided that. That's clearly evident in the postings of each of them."

I'm not sure what to say about that, but in my case, if someone were to tell me that in 20 years from now, I would hold pretty much the same views about everything, for the same reasons, as now, I would be very disappointed in myself.

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 11:15 PM

I think a lot of older men worry intensely about their performance as the only benchmark they have is what they see on the television or read in magazines. Men who have been in long term marriages especially when they have been an easy target for a vindictive woman especially have a difficult time after divorce. I think the younger guys are 'out there' again fairly quickly but the older guys are a lot more hesitant for fear of failure, or I should say perceived failure.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 20, 2008 11:14 PM

waterbombe at August 20, 2008 9:38 PM
blah blah ...Marcus has written at length about this being a biological imperative (I for one don't believe a word of it)...blah blah..."
If you are still being approached by men in their 50's who want sex surely that makes my point about there being a pretty strong urge? What needs to be considered is that a man's reproductive life is about twice as long as womans; say about 45 to 50 years. Even though the outcome of sex with a 'grannie' may be different, the imperative is still there.
Years ago in the Moreland Hotel I met a woman of 33 who was a grandmother. Given the fecundity of your female antecedents, perhaps she was a relative or even yourself?
Drone.
An understanding of evolution and how innate factors are behind our behaviours and emotional responses is pretty important.
Alpha males are generally seen by women as being kind, loving, supporting and strong and of course protectors. Men see alpha males as charismatic, intelligent and as leaders. I think you have your wires crossed on evolutionary strategy too. There is no such thing. There can be no such thing. We are vehicles for our genes and natural selection does not see ahead, does not plan consequences, and has no purpose in view. There is non random cumulative selection that may result in a spectacularly efficient fir of an organism with it's environment, but no strategy.
Cheers Marcus
All these dog breeds and mixtures."
All descended from the Grey wolves that once scavenged human camp sites and became tame.
There is a famous experiment a Russian animal researcher performed with Silver foxes. He bred these pricked eared, silver grey coated, timid wild animals and picked the most human friendly cubs from each litter. After 20 years his foxes had floppy ears, wagged their tails and their fur had changed to black and white with a human friendly white face. They looked and behaved like Border collies.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at August 20, 2008 11:09 PM

Posted by: waterbombe at August 20, 2008 10:50 PM:

"I think you misunderstood blueeyed blond, btw...as I read it she was just saying that she preferred honesty to deception"...

Could well be... certainly wouldn't be the first time I've misunderstood something. :)

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 11:08 PM

Posted by: iaminperth at August 20, 2008 10:47 PM:

Perhaps I was unclear.

From what you said, I think he just wanted to reassure you that his interest in you wasn't based around sex alone/getting you into bed as soon as possible, etc.

I dunno... it seemed a plausible interpretation to me. But then again, you were there, and I wasn't.

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 11:04 PM

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at August 20, 2008 10:32 PM:

But, speaking more generally, I'd suggest that you stop plagiarising your profile verbatim from Austin Powers, before giving me advice about how I should conduct myself. :)

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 10:59 PM

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at August 20, 2008 10:32 PM:

No, I didn't criticise him for being a know-it-all...

I criticised some of the views he holds. Two quite different things. He is quite forthright with his views on here. I imagine he will take some disagreement in his stride.

When venturing an opinion about something makes you a know-it-all, then I will put my hand up, and no doubt, he will too.

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 10:56 PM

Nah, the difference is, ERAL, that both Drone and Marcus have read stuff, but drone's knowledge has been challeged by minds equal to or better than his, and Marcus has avoided that. That's clearly evident in the postings of each of them.

Actually I know a fair bit about evolutionary theories, drone, but I rarely engage with Marcus over that, as I think it would get boring for others. I see the blogs as an opportunity to learn something and to have a bit of fun. I think you misunderstood blueeyed blond, btw...as I read it she was just saying that she preferred honesty to deception (although she did link them to age, which was a bit curious).

Perth, I never thought of guys being so stressed about being seen as sexually predatory that they would blurt out sexual information out of anxiety....that puts a new slant on things. Hmmmm....you live and learn on here.

Posted by: waterbombe at August 20, 2008 10:50 PM

That's a ridiculous assumption Drone. If all I wanted from a man was instant sex then buy it. I don't think that at all as he wasn't a condescending know it all at all and certainly wouldn't have thought that I was so stupid that I couldn't make up my own mind.

Posted by: iaminperth at August 20, 2008 10:47 PM

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 20, 2008 9:50 PM:

I really like your posts on here...

You know, you wrote a really sweet response to a very brief post I made on another thread.

I don't think I quite have some of the powers of expression you have, so I may not be able to say much that is of help or comfort, though I wish I could.

Anyway, I really do hope for the best for you. And, by the way, I really respect those who work with people who have disabilities... that takes a real special kind of strength to be able to deal with on a day-to-day basis. And it is important work.

Neil

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 10:47 PM

drone, What on earth has that got to do with my comment.
How do you know Michael Angelo, Abraham Lincoln or Mozart didn't think about sex... bet they did.

Posted by: blueyedblond at August 20, 2008 10:39 PM

"espritlibrefemme" - WHAT A WOUNDERFUL post, thank you! I could relate to each word you have said! Although I am very new to this internet busyness, I met only one man, I already feel the way you do! I already feel like this is not my 'cup of tea'...I too work in mental health sector and I can well relate to everything you have just said...this dating busyness internet dating thing IS draining for the soul...I hope you still stay to share your thoughts with us, but if not, I wish you all the best! You WILL find your soul mate and I am sure I will too. I am learning a lot at the moment just by reading these blog entries...

'drone' - I like your sensitive ways a lot too! I cannot agree more with your comments about 'evolutionary psychology' . You put it in words all right!

Posted by: piscesgirl56 at August 20, 2008 10:37 PM

I don't think most men are like that at that age either. I've certainly met a lot of lovely men on this site, and hardly any players. Most men my age, or any age, are lovely people. And in general they LIKE women...so why is it so hard for women to meet men? I find it hard to understand why Esprit, for example, would say "when I go out, I do turn the heads of guys, and those in my age bracket look, then look somewhat terrified and turn away" ...where are you looking, Esprit, New Zealand? They're scared of women over there...if we ever want to occupy NZ, (and frankly we could use their water), all we have to do is put each kiwi man in a room with four Aussie women and he'll be dead from anxiety in an hour. Simple. No need for guns, troopships, and other modern warfare, all we need is Aussie women volunteering their time in one-hour shifts. But I digress.

There's lots of lovely men around, and lots of players, but you can learn to avoid the latter. You don't have to give up. I'm not a romantic, and I know I am fairly pragmatic, and perhaps that is why I can't cope with stuff like "Now I need rest as my heart is weary".Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 20, 2008 9:50 PM . C'mon, Esprit, all you're doing is looking for a bloke. It's not life or death. Read a good book, have a rest, and get back out there. But think about what you are doing to terrify the blokes.....I can't imagine...I don't terrify them and I imagine some people....well, ok, just Marcus and TW...would think I wear fangs and a blood soaked cloak...so how come you do? ....What's going on?

Posted by: waterbombe at August 20, 2008 10:33 PM

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 10:14 PM

Drone - your sledging Marcus for being some sort of "knowitall" , and then you start doing it yourself !
pmsl :)

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at August 20, 2008 10:32 PM

Posted by: iaminperth at August 20, 2008 10:03 PM:

Yes, he would have been worried that you were interpreting any signs of interest on his part as desires for instant sex, or something like that...

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 10:30 PM

Posted by: waterbombe at August 20, 2008 9:38 PM:

The other thing about his posts... there is also something that evolution has given us, namely a highly developed brain, that can override some of these inbuilt traits we may have.

That is why a woman is not condemned to be attracted to exactly the same sort of guy she was originally, and vice-versa.

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 10:14 PM

Posted by: blueyedblond at August 20, 2008 9:53 PM:

Come on now, that's just silly...

Who painted the Cistine Chapel?

Who wrote the Gettysburg Address?

Who wrote some of the greatest music ever written before dying at 35 in 1791?

I could go on, but why bother?

Yep, all men.

I'm not going to defend all men for all that they do, but to suggest that men just are after sex as the no. 1 priority in their lives, whatever their age, or whoever they are, is just false.

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 10:11 PM

I think the whole sex thing must manifest itself as a major worry in some older mens minds and therefore they focus on it too much. I met a man once who on first meeting was explaining that he liked me and would like to see me again and that I didn't have to worry about the sex and he would take his time and I'm thinking, what !!! I haven't thought that far ahead yet and I don't even know if I want to see you again - which by the way I didn't. I don't think for one minute he is obsessive or anything, just how the worry manifests itself. Does that make sense to anyone ???

Posted by: iaminperth at August 20, 2008 10:03 PM

Posted by: waterbombe at August 20, 2008 9:38 PM:
"Ha ha Drone, ask Marcus!!!! ROFL. Apparently some blokes even in their 50s still WOT (want one thing) and Marcus has written at length about this being a biological imperative (I for one don't believe a word of it) even when men are old enough to be grandads, as Marcus is. Yes, its sad but true....we grannies are still dodging a fair percentage of pesky grandads who have only one thing on their minds."

I don't think most men are like that at that age.

I've seen some of his posts, and he runs a fairly crude evolutionary psychology story... the sort you will see on seduction sites, if you bother to visit them, but not in the pages of journals written by people who are actually working in the field.

The "men can reproduce at any time during their life" thing is one factor in play. But that's all. Honestly, most men were dead by 35 anyway, when the last evolutionarily significant pressures to deal with these things came into play.

I know he runs this hardcore alpha-male line, but if you actually bother to look at the literature, it is pretty clear that the fact that our ancestors formed groups (which helped with survival), and had social interactions within these groups, meant that there were a whole heap of evolutionary factors involved with things that were tailored to living in these groups that fashioned what we are today.

There were a number of evolutionary strategies that were successful, and that is why there is a range of different personality types within the male gender (and the female gender as well). And that's why not all guys are your stereotypical act first, think later, alpha dude.

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 9:55 PM

Hate to disappoint you drone, but even men in their 50's WOT, men will be men, doesn't matter the age. What is better? The younger man who is up front about wanting sex or the older man pretending he wants your mind but can't wait to get into your pants. Give me the younger guy every day. Least you know where u stand.

Posted by: blueyedblond at August 20, 2008 9:53 PM

I would definitely prefer to date a blogger on here than just about anybody else. You are all such genuine, open and stimulating people and, most importantly you really, really do have a sense of ethics.

I have been expecting rsvp dating people to treat me as I treat them and that is my downfall, and maybe why I need to just give up on dating. I hear what some of you have said regarding taking myself out alone - I have done sooooo much of that (and I am lonely!) and continue to do so and....

How do I say this without sounding like I have tickets on myself.... when I go out, I do turn the heads of guys, and those in my age bracket look, then look somewhat terrified and turn away. I seem to appear 'out of reach' or at least, from comments made to me, they just think I wouldn't want to know. I am not up myself, honestly, this is just feedback I have had.

As for work or study....I work in areas that are predominantly with women and so study with the same groups - females. Great women and my age but tied into existing lives, usually trying to hold together their relationship.

My worldview is very much coloured by my work - I believe in the goodness of people, and truly take people at their word, hold myself back from judgment calls, try to see the best in them, and generally find that very easy - so I am wide open to men walking all over me in relationships. But I have no intention of becoming hardened. I like who I am too much for that.

I work with people who are mentally ill, or distraught, or severely traumatised, or dying, or recovering from grief - in a role as psychologist/counsellor. I cannot let myself get cynical. I cannot let an internet dating site do that to me.

Working with kids who are dying demands being open and willing to hear, the same as with parents who have lost kids. If my heart started to close because of being on this site, I would be doing these wonderful people a great disservice. Their bravery deserves better than being coloured by my experiences on here.

So I will keep believing in people, spend a lot of time listening to them, sharing and caring, being who I feel most congruent with being. I guess leaving rsvp is better than losing out on the generosity of sharing that I get in my workplaces.

I have not been willing to even contemplate that so many guys on rsvp are such users, but I may just have to face it that they are, and maybe just leave because I can't be like they are. I care. It is in my very nature. I can't stop that, and won't.

Thanks to everyone on here who has been amazing and lovely, and I am really sorry to anyone on here that I have 'flicked' during playtime who may be a little bruised because of it. I hope your bruises have healed.

I genuinely want to find love, and to give it, and be involved in all the hard work that is required for that to succeed. I guess the guys on rsvp I have met are too shallow to get this and would sooner keep damaging gentle hearts, in the main (and any I have known that aren't like this, you are fabulous people and I am so pleased to have known you, and wish you all the best in finding the lovely lady/ies you deserve).

My emotional energies need more than being a photo on an internet site which looks like interesting prey to pursue. My heart needs so much more than being a cutout princess, waiting to be taken and dumped. My soul needs a real man. The men on the blogs know what I mean as you guys are. Love you all, despite sometimes my being hard to cope with. Mwwaahh. Now I need rest as my heart is weary.

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 20, 2008 9:50 PM

Glad the info on parentless children helped, guys. It's quite an issue, even if you lose a parent when you are in your forties, you might be as surprised as I was when you read about it.

Posted by: waterbombe at August 20, 2008 9:49 PM

waterflambeAugust 20, 2008 9:17 PM

"We don't deliver the plain truth in real life, ladies and gentlemen, do we?"

What does that statement say about you and your perception of reasonable behaviour?
The plain truth spoken here would best be delivered to the punters with the benefit of a profile and accompanying accountability.

I've no problem with being direct in break ups but sometimes delivering home truths that predicated a decision are patronising.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at August 20, 2008 9:40 PM

Ha ha Drone, ask Marcus!!!! ROFL. Apparently some blokes even in their 50s still WOT (want one thing) and Marcus has written at length about this being a biological imperative (I for one don't believe a word of it) even when men are old enough to be grandads, as Marcus is. Yes, its sad but true....we grannies are still dodging a fair percentage of pesky grandads who have only one thing on their minds.

Posted by: waterbombe at August 20, 2008 9:38 PM

Yep... nothing better than getting a "Dear John - it's over" email to end a long relationship. Really lets you know just how much the relationship was worth...

Posted by: heart2heart57 at August 20, 2008 9:34 PM

whoops that should have been "trying NOT to plunge a dagger through the heart, like I try not to"

Posted by: waterbombe at August 20, 2008 9:19 PM

That's true enough, drone...how many of us front up in real life and say "It's over. I can't tolerate your meanness, you are boring, you're as sexually exciting as a dead fish, and I think I'd get better conversation from a two-year old". No, we say, "Look, I really don't think this is working ... it's not you, it's me...I just don't feel like settling down right now....I thought I did, but I have found I don't, and I'm awfully sorry....And another thing is you do live a long way away, I just can't keep travelling that distance... ten kilometers....not with my job, it's so demanding at the moment...maybe in another few months it might work....let's get in touch then.....bye for now...mwah..."

We don't deliver the plain truth in real life, ladies and gentlemen, do we? How many of you hedge around the point, trying not to plunge a dagger through the heart like I do?

Posted by: waterbombe at August 20, 2008 9:17 PM

Posted by: waterbombe at August 20, 2008 7:55 PM:
"I identify players by a number of things, I ditched guys who pursued heavily with lots of phone calls, txts, emails, "fell in love" on the first date, talked about me as their 'soul mate', talked about sex early on in a way that made me even slightly uncomfortable, etc."

Some of those things sound a bit dodgy, but I think there is also pressure on guys in particular (because they assume that women will be going on more dates than they are) to ramp things up, and to secure the "chemistry" that so many women state clearly on their profile is imperative.

Maybe some of those things could be insecure reactions to those pressures (although, of course, you would be in a better situation to assess this than I am, given that they are your experiences).

I dunno... I guess I find it hard to imagine being a guy in his 50s, and still having quick sex as a big priority in life. I'm not saying this because I think guys in their 50s are past it, but surely they must be sick of that by now??

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 9:14 PM

I'm not a romantic, I'm quite a practical person. That was apparent in my profile when I had it up. I think I attracted one player...not sure...he disappeared after the third date when there was no sex, never to be heard from again. He could have been hit by a bus of course. I also attracted one loony new ager who just 'knew' I was the love of his life after two dates...needless to say that was the end of that. But I didn't get all the sexual innuendo, the phone call sex, etc, that many women report on here, and I think that it was because I did not appear to be a romantic in any way. One more thing, I didn't show any cleavage in my photos ... I think that's another sure fire way to attract a player.

I know, through my partner's workmates, of guys who trawl RSVP looking for women just for sex...if they are open about it, I have no problem with it, but the difficulty lies with the liars...the married ones who tell you they are single....and there's lots of them on here. You do have to be fairly careful so that you avoid them....unless of course, that's what you want.

Posted by: waterbombe at August 20, 2008 9:08 PM

waterbombe:

By the way, thanks for the info on the other thread about parentless children - the information was very helpful. I tracked down a couple of books and ordered them over the internet.

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 9:06 PM

Posted by: musicteacher at August 20, 2008 8:23 PM:
"I was told this by a guy, he blogged about this site and how miserable it can be for most."

By the way, if you are taking the word of some guy about what other guys on here are like, well, how would he know? Is he trawling this site, and going on dates with other guys?

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 9:04 PM

Posted by: musicteacher at August 20, 2008 8:23 PM:

"I would estimate that it is a very tiny percent of people that are genuine here.........very depressing."

I don't know what the guys on here are like... but I've met 5-6 women on here, and they all seemed genuine and interesting people to meet and talk to. Sure, I didn't end up hooking up with any of them, but still...

It wouldn't surprise me if the percentage of genuine guys is a bit lower than the percentage of genuine women, but surely it can't be that low? Anyway, I hope it's not, because I know there are a lot of great guys out there...

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 9:02 PM

WATERBOMBE is just right!
i have been in those circumstances.
hope this will remind those genuine ladies to be very careful except those who just come here for fun.

good luck everyone!

Posted by: veronica1981 at August 20, 2008 8:58 PM

Waterbombe.....nutshell....enough said from me.............K

Posted by: auntykaz at August 20, 2008 8:24 PM

I have said it before and I will say it again.RSVP is full of guys trawlling for women............they send everybody kisses...it's a big joke to these jokers.

I was told this by a guy, he blogged about this site and how miserable it can be for most.
I would estimate that it is a very tiny percent of people that are genuine here.........very depressing.

Posted by: musicteacher at August 20, 2008 8:23 PM

I think the huge number of potential partners is great for relationship-seekers AND players...it's not better for one or the other, because it increases the chances of meeting someone for both of them. Serious people looking for relationships are on here and so are many players. So we have to learn to tell the difference, because generally neither type wants the other. I identify players by a number of things, I ditched guys who pursued heavily with lots of phone calls, txts, emails, "fell in love" on the first date, talked about me as their 'soul mate', talked about sex early on in a way that made me even slightly uncomfortable, etc. Basically I believe that Easy Come, Easy Go ....if a guy or a woman is all over you like a rash, they will be gone just as fast when they spy a new target. There may be such a thing as "instant love" (I don't think so) but even if there is, a person worth having will get to know you slowly. If they rush you to the bedroom or get heavily into the romance they are probably a player. Players know many women like romance ...and they know some women think they 'deserve' romance ....so they fake what you think you deserve to get you into bed. A genuinely romantic guy will be a bit cautious at first but when you indicate his attentions are welcome, he will do his romantic thing...flowers, choccies, jewellery, small puppydogs, etc. Imho.

Ok all the women who like romance will howl me down now .... but you women really have to watch out because you are who the player sees as a likely 'victim'.

Posted by: waterbombe at August 20, 2008 7:55 PM

Following on from my other post...

I think it's a mistake to blame the internet, or text messages, or whatever, for the fact that people use this means to break up with/knock people back.

There are examples from the literature in philosophy, and backed up by studies in psychology, that show clearly, that in general, people tend to think it is ethically *better* to not be the direct cause of something that cause bad things to happen, even though the end result is the same.

Consider this scenario: A trolley car is racing down a train-track. If it is not stopped, it will kill 3 people who are on the track.

Now, consider these two variations of that scenario:

(1) You can push somone over a bridge. If you do this, they will die and be hit by the oncoming trolley-car below, thus killing 1 person, but saving 3.

(2) There is a track-diverter lever next to you. Push it, and the trolley will be diverted. On the other track is 1 person that will be killed if you do so.

Consistently, people seem to think that (2) is much more acceptable than (1), even though the end result is the same.

The difference between the two cases is the proximity of your relationship between the death of 1 individual - in the first case, you are the direct cause of that person's death. In the other, you merely switch a lever and divert the trolley car.

It seems to me that there is a direct analogy here between ways of breaking up/declaring non-interest in someone. One is direct, the other is not. Given such commonalities between the cases, there is actually an explanation for why people don't want to pull the trigger directly in the dating rejection cases.

It's too simplistic just to say that those people who don't want to pull the trigger/directly reject the other person, are plain inconsiderate.

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 7:54 PM

People mostly take the easy way out because they do not want to pull the trigger.

I don't think that most of the people who do these things do them because they just don't care. It's that they don't want to feel the other person's hurt, and that what they did was the immediate cause of that hurt, basically.

When it involves breaking contact with no explanation, for instance, the end result of that is that the other person's hurt is drawn out, and clouded in uncertainty, which is probably worse in the end than a straightforward knockback.

But, I think, often people don't really think these things through properly, and often it's coming from a misguided feeling that it will be less hurtful to just send a text-message, or something...

This whole issue, by the way, links in interesting ways with a whole lot of issues in society. Take euthanasia, for example... there is something in us that does not want to pull the trigger there, but is happy to allow the terminal patient's suffering to be drawn out a bit longer if we don't have to do anything to directly bring about their death.

Not wanting to be the *direct* cause of suffering in others (although they may actually suffer more by indirect means) seems to be a pervasive part of the human psyche that has implications way beyond rejections in dating.

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 7:35 PM

Hey guys and gals..........ACCEPT it....we have been dehumanised by the internet..............and it is an "EASY Cop OUT"!!

No PERSONAL interaction involved.........all surgical ......and lacking in EMOTION........
Get real everybody...........we are dealing with real people!
THINK ABOUT IT!!
And act accordingly...........show some humanity!!
Would you like to be treated this way???

Posted by: kurli at August 20, 2008 7:29 PM

rustysteed wrote:
" think the whole internet dating thing is awash with the easy come,easy go attitude simply because you have access to so many potential partners all catalogued ready for your perusal.

A lot of people have a real problem with the veritable smorgasbord on the net and they just can't commit to one person because they may miss out on a better offer..greed?"

Yes, it is possible for some people to line up dates with a large number of people in a short space of time.

And you're right, often this is not conducive to having the best attitude towards things. It's probably no coincidence that most of the people I know who are happily married/partnered met and gradually got to know each other through work or study, and comparatively few met through random hookups at pubs, etc. (which this site resembles more closely).

Still, on the whole, this site is a resource that is better to have than to not have.

Posted by: drone at August 20, 2008 7:16 PM

Why do people not want to accept responsibility and take the "easy" way out so much now!
Posted by: creativestuart at August 20, 2008 3:20 PM

Stu, because they can't be bothered behaving like what we expect a civilised normal person to do.
Because they are emotionally underdeveloped.
Because they are simply lacking in respect.

Because because because............K

Posted by: auntykaz at August 20, 2008 7:08 PM

I think the whole internet dating thing is awash with the easy come,easy go attitude simply because you have access to so many potential partners all catalogued ready for your perusal.

A lot of people have a real problem with the veritable smorgasbord on the net and they just can't commit to one person because they may miss out on a better offer..greed?

This is way different to the 'real world' where usually you have to put in far more effort to find a potential partner/date/friend.

What can we do...maybe just being a bit more careful...and not taking anything for
granted until some time has gone into the
friendship.

Have fun by all means but just be aware that
this medium makes it so easy to be taken for a ride by spineless users...especially the dumping part ;p.Tread your own path,
Mark

Posted by: rustysteed at August 20, 2008 6:53 PM

Unfortunately the one who unceremoniously dumped you via email is the norm rather than the exception. They are gutless wonders and you are so much better than they are. I have found MOST of the men, and I would think a lot of women as well, on RSVP and other sites are always looking for the next best thing.Before I get shot down in flames there are probably some very nice men on here BUT I haven't met any. I agree with music teacher, you are more likely to meet a partner through friends. At least then you can find out about their history and past relationships. Why are sites like this so popular? Because we find it hard to go to venues alone, most of our friends are partnered or we work and this way is more convenient. I stay here because I remain the eternal romantic and one day maybe my almost right Prince will come.

Posted by: blueyedblond at August 20, 2008 5:48 PM

....ooops Esprit,let me finish........

how wonderful to meet new friends! and friends have other friends.

That's how I met my "man".He walked into a pub at a gathering of friends that I have met on MySpace....he came along with one of my friends.Don't think I would have met him another way....

Posted by: musicteacher at August 20, 2008 4:01 PM

Esprit...that's awful!!!!! and avoiding you makes it worse....you sort of wish you could UNDO it all....all the nice things you said to him,all the things you believed.......

Honestly...my suggestion....don't internet date,you are beautiful and approachable....Go out to the movies on your own,take yourself out to dinner.....meet new people which may open up more social avenues,go on a holiday....you will be amazed at what happens.

Just do it girl!!!! That is how I live my life.....I have so many...."how we met" stories.....and I am talking about FRIENDS mainly.

Posted by: musicteacher at August 20, 2008 3:44 PM

Hi Esprit, Im so sorry to hear what happened. How very rude and inconsiderate. I really know how you feel, honestly I do. Better now than later, is the only consolation I can give.

Posted by: willow29 at August 20, 2008 3:37 PM

Im really sorry to hear that has happened to you, and i do agree, it seems like alot of people just want to lead people along, aslong as it pleases them, allowing them to feel free to pick and choose who they want at that particular time. I would like to think its just human descency that someone would talk to someone 1 on 1, whether it be face to face, or over the phone, but it doesnt allways happen that way, which is the harsh reality. But at the same time, instead of thinking how they will feel afterwards, they should infact imagine how the other person will feel, and then think of the most respectable way(if there is one).

"Dumping" or being "Dumped" is usually never easy, and while it may be unpleasant, i think you will bounce back from this, and i wish you the best in your search

Posted by: metalscott at August 20, 2008 3:33 PM

It is so hard to believe that some cannot even at least write or the very least sms that they see no future in pursuing a connection. I mean, how old are we?

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at August 20, 2008 3:22 PM

How Rude!

I was dumped by phone once, indeed it started with a text message!

I was disgusted and annoyed.

Why do people not want to accept responsibility and take the "easy" way out so much now!

It is never an easy thing to do but at least have the self respect and respect for someone who had given you their time and love to actually face them.

Needless to say I would never do it any other way!

Posted by: creativestuart at August 20, 2008 3:20 PM

Well I have literally just been dumped on line, an rsvp email. It is awful, mainly because of the thought that someone couldn't even face up to just lifting a phone and making a call. I am mostly mad at myself for dating such a jerk.

But then how much worse is it when someone doesn't even tell you, they just have their phone on message bank and don't return calls? I am proud to say that I tell someone to their face, or over the phone, when I don't want to take things any further. I feel that I owe that much to someone who has made the effort to see me so far.

And even worse are the ones who lie, "I can't wait to see you again", "You are amazing", "You are AWESOME" and similar texts/sms messages/emails, when they have already walked and are seeing someone else regularly.

I figure that some people want a 'collection' of people, to trial and have in their storage, until they slip into a suitable one for now, and if that doesn't work out, they can always pick another out of the store.

Internet dating is rife with peculiarites, and allows people to lie and control, and avoid the self-reflection of seeing or hearing disappointment when they 'dump'. It gives a very false impression to people that they are window-shopping, and so can just avoid picking up the goods, or return them for credit, and it is oh so easy if any more direct human-to-human contact is avoided at the break-up.

I hope I never turn into one of these dehumanised souls, and always have the courage to, at the very least, share a voice and ear with someone if it isn't working out for me. Let's face it, most of the time it won't, so be brave enough to treat people with the respect you expect.

I do believe in karma, even in the age of internet emotional pains.

Posted by: espritlibrefemme at August 20, 2008 2:38 PM