RSVP Blog
Unrequited love...
Ah, the sweet sting of love unreturned. Just about everyone at some stage in their life, has admired someone (secretly or not so secretly) without having the favor returned. Whilst it may not have been love in hindsight, the pain was enough to make the emotion feel real. Perhaps the basis of that person's appeal was the desire for the unattainable? How many times have you broken your own concept of reality to indulge in the sheer pleasure of a crush?
Prior to pursuing someone of interest to you, do you ensure you've done the appropriate reality check? Let's face it, sometimes the signs are clear: he's immature; she's a man-eater; he is a chronic womaniser etc. They are not right for you, yet you can't get them out of your head! Do you see this as a waste of time or do you go for it on the off-chance it could be worth it?
Posted by July 18, 2008 10:12 AM
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Its nice to hear the words to songs, I feel they define a moment.
They say things we might like to say but the words might come out wrong.
Perth, you are right, the moment passes, I wonder over what timespan?
For some, it could be a matter of minutes, others it might be hours or days weeks or years.
For me, it sometimes has been minutes, maybe sometimes hours, and even days.
Some people I know have taken weeks, months or years.
Posted by: virgil at August 3, 2008 11:20 PM
We all have I think Amber but it passes like a bad headache and we sit ourselves up, dust ourselves off and start all over again - isn't that the way it goes. I mean if you feel like that the only way to go is upward and onward and I think acceptance is good, I'm lost but I'm not going backwards, I'll take a minute or maybe two, consolidate, and then off we go again bigger and better.....which in my language means happier. Only shows you are human like the rest of us.
Posted by: iaminperth at August 2, 2008 4:38 PM
perzactly, Amber...
Posted by: heart2heart57 at August 2, 2008 4:28 PM
"I am" I cried,
"I am" said I,
And I am lost and I can't even say why
Leavin' me lonely still"
Who hasn't felt like this, once or twice in their life-time!
Posted by: amberlight58 at August 2, 2008 3:40 PM
For the benefit of Posted by: iaminperth at August 2, 2008 11:03 AM:
"L.A's fine... the sun shines most of the time...
And the feeling is lay back...
Palm tree's grow and rents are low, but you know I keep thinkin about...
Makin my way back...
Well I'm New York City born and raised... but now a days I'm lost between two shores...
L.A's fine, but it ain't home
New York's home, but it ain't mine... no more...
I am I said...
To no-one there...
And no-one heard... not even the chair..."
Posted by: heart2heart57 at August 2, 2008 12:22 PM
h2h, okay so what next ?
Posted by: iaminperth at August 2, 2008 11:03 AM
heart2heart@3.06am:
I hope you're feeling less achey and needy this morning.
Posted by: kurli at August 2, 2008 7:49 AM
I ache, I feel, I want, I need, I am... I said ... I am...
Posted by: heart2heart57 at August 2, 2008 3:06 AM
I ache, I feel, I want, I need, I am... I said ... I am...
Posted by: heart2heart57 at August 2, 2008 3:04 AM
Hi Perth & Amberlight
Thanks for the welcome back. I have had a bit of work on, was reading a series of novels that were really good, and feeling unsure of what I want, in terms of companionship, lovers etc.
Most people are tipping a Dockers win, surprising when the prize for losing is so much greater than that of winning.
To win less than 5 games entitles a team a proprity draft pick, at number 17, so if the dockers win, they loose the priority pick. The Eagles have one more game they can win, before they loose the extra pick.
In the heat of battle, we just want our team to win, but in the quiet time, we think of the future, next year, with 2 picks in the top 20.
Posted by: virgil at August 1, 2008 11:41 AM
Hi Doug, I wondered where you had gone. I'm not sure what will happen this weekend but I think the Dockers might make their mark. The Eagles have a few injuries. It's all good though and will be an interesting game. The weather here has been atrocious for a while so it will be a messy game but so many people get into the spirit of it. People are even having friendly banter in the office where I work with Eagles flags and Dockers flags and scarves draped over desks. It's a laugh at times when a little bit of sabotage happens. Also as we are one of the major sponsors of the Eagles it stirs the pot even further.
Posted by: iaminperth at August 1, 2008 8:34 AM
Hi Doug,
Glad to hear from you after such a long break. Have you been sick? Or just busy?
Cheers
Posted by: amberlight58 at July 31, 2008 11:40 PM
Where's VIRGIL, the Eagles won a game, yay!!!!
Posted by: iaminperth at July 27, 2008 4:37 PM
Yeehaa I went to the Glenelg footy club, they are the ladder leaders in the SANFL, and my local club, I watched the first 3 quarters of Glenelg V Norwood, then went inside for the real stuff on Foxtel was really happy for win 3, and hopefully we will have another this year.
Thanks Perth
Doug
Posted by: virgil at July 31, 2008 9:59 PM
Waternymph @ 5.23 pm.
Mea Culpa,you are right, it was a shock to see your normal post deteriorate to the point of inanity, my apologies, but it was also directed at another lady friend whom I know had attended a wedding and had kicked the heels up a little to high.
TW already worked that one out but it is still a nuiscance compared to the way it was.
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at July 29, 2008 7:26 PM
"Waternymph
I know some little girl who is going to wake up tomorrow and think "god what did I post last night". Dont worry I've done it, thankfully mine is not the only short attention span on the site ( get that little dig perth lol) Strange night this most of my off blog contacts will be waking up the same way, so to save them time I might just send them a copy of the history. I must say it is different to stay off the slops and see how the other half handle it."
Posted by: oldergent at July 27, 2008 11:48 PM ..........................................
OG are you sure you were not confusing me with that non existant blogger called "waternympho"? I always mean what I say and say what I mean.. after careful thought and much re reading & correcting before I Post!
Posted by: waternymph47 at July 29, 2008 5:23 PM
oldergent at July 28, 2008 9:52 PM: A shortcut: When in one blog, scroll up till the names of the other blogs are showing on the right. Then click on the next one you want to look in.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 28, 2008 11:10 PM
yankeedoodle1, you could ask her directly how she feels. You've got two chances. If she says she's not interested, at least you'll know for sure and then you can move on.
Sometimes it pays to be more direct than reading between the lines, I think.
Posted by: malsie at July 28, 2008 11:06 PM
Sorry perth,
I was saying I am the same age as TW, the dig was when he tagged me as having a short attention span in a past spray.
I have to agree about to many blogs running together, it makes it harder when you have to jump from display page to page to read them too.
Yankeedoodle1@7.53
Think Charles and Camilla, what they had to overcome seems to me would make anything else seem easy. If she has expressed the same feelings for you, it can't be unrequieted love, maybe unfulfilled love?
Cheers OG.
Posted by: oldergent at July 28, 2008 9:52 PM
Posted by: yankeedoodle1 at July 28, 2008 7:53 PM try not to anticipate the unknown, you might end up turning away unnecessarily.......... if you got on like a house on fire, maybe she does like you as well, you just have to give her a chance, and not pre-empt anything........... if worst comes to worst, deal with it then......all things in good time........good luck, hope it works out.
Posted by: spanky668 at July 28, 2008 9:29 PM
Hi OG, I'm not with you with regards your comments and don't underrstand what you are saying ? I've been interested in reading your recount of the mining days you had but there are too many topics for me to keep up with here.
Posted by: iaminperth at July 28, 2008 8:55 PM
I gave a bit of thought to this question today.
Only because i had met a woman who was perfect in my mind, slim, fantastic personality,Asian, we got on like a house on fire, but somehow I don't think she thinks the same about me.
What do you do ?
Without being a mind reader I guess you just have to read between the lines and save your heart from hurt and move on.
Posted by: yankeedoodle1 at July 28, 2008 7:53 PM
And sometimes unrequited love can last a lifetime:
I dated a woman when we were both teenagers, but broke up because we �outgrew the relationship.� Years later, as we remained friends, I realized I was really in love with her. Yet we had both married other people.
Decades passed. Her husband died and my marriage ended in divorce, all the while the two of us remained close friends. I still am in love with this woman, but do not have any expectations other than that we maintain, at the very least, this wonderful and fulfilling relationship we have, which has been the only constant in my life over the past 38 years�. This may have been the most important relationship of my life.
There�s no easy answer on how to handle feelings of unrequited love�which is why it�s no surprise there is little resolution .
What is clear is that if your feelings are more than a crush, more than casual attraction, there is a possibility for a long and fulfilling friendship beneath these roiling emotions. time may be the best cure.
If your feelings of unrequited love have gone on for months or even years, it�s time to move on, lest these unreciprocated emotions prevent you from actually having a deep and fulfilling relationship yourself.
Posted by: yankeedoodle1 at July 28, 2008 7:42 PM
iaminperth@4.53pm Sunday>
I like to think I'm normal,but a lot (of people )may disagree with me :-)
As for the "why".........I won't commit myself on a blog.......sorry.....she says with a VERY big grin.
Posted by: kurli at July 28, 2008 4:07 PM
Perth,
I am his age, give me a break.
Waternymph
I know some little girl who is going to wake up tomorrow and think "god what did I post last night". Dont worry I've done it, thankfully mine is not the only short attention span on the site ( get that little dig perth lol) Strange night this most of my off blog contacts will be waking up the same way, so to save them time I might just send them a copy of the history. I must say it is different to stay off the slops and see how the other half handle it.
h2h, true, true, very sage advice @ 10.52pm.
Posted by: oldergent at July 27, 2008 11:48 PM
Timewarp - age teaches us men 2 valuable things - 1. Never waste and erection, and 2. NEVER trust a fart.... lmao
Posted by: heart2heart57 at July 27, 2008 10:52 PM
oldergent @ 3.55pm
If only you had posted this info yesterday, it would have saved me an awful lot of cussing and swearing last night. I tried to post a comment after signing in only to be told I was not registered even though it thanked me for signing in.
Posted by: maestrac at July 27, 2008 10:15 PM
whatever sort of relationship you aspire to the answer is individually based.
Posted by: aqueousdb66 at July 27, 2008 12:18 AM
aqueousd66, thank you for your kind comments..also the above line holds so true..however, so many will change the rules and then get disappointed.For me the lesson here was that you only get one life to live and that is the one YOU are living and not somebody elses.We all get to make our own choices and wanting the best for others is just that, your own wants. The balance of human natures gives us the right to live our lives as we see fit.In this case my husband was only 52, was a warm caring man, spoke 9 languages, took an enormous interest in the world around him and should of had everything to live for. But, he made a choice. It may not have suited everyone in his life but that was his right. I inherited his ex wife and two (adult)children, whom I adore .As to, was there more to it , I think not. The Polish people say it best...or at least as explained to me.So if there is anyone Polish out there...you might like to comment.However they have a word for "I love you because" I find this very profound as this is mostly true in our every day dealings in our lives and choose to misunderstand, for we all do love others for many reason, thus the " I love you because" of this or that or who you are, not to be Confused with unconditional love
Posted by: forevernow1 at July 27, 2008 9:24 PM
about 3 weeks then if you don't at least reveal something or touch something , say goodbye.
Posted by: iaminhotwater at July 27, 2008 8:26 PM
heart2heart57 at July 27, 2008 6:09 PM: Mate, at my age I don't even need the beans to produce results. But there's so little useful heat in gas, until you torch it.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 27, 2008 8:25 PM
jenniferhi at July 26, 2008 8:35 PM: She's one of Mr Svengali's glove puppets. Didn't you know? The night I outed her, she hit No 1 in the top 100.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 27, 2008 8:15 PM
auntykaz at July 26, 2008 8:04 PM : Coles & Woollies in Brisvegas open till 9pm weeknights, 6pm Sunday but only till 5pm Saturday because staff and customers both want to party on Saturday evening.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 27, 2008 8:10 PM
So how long does the unrequited love for a cheap chook last you guys, since food seems to be the current topic!
Posted by: aqueousdb66 at July 27, 2008 7:01 PM
Ahh the sweet sting............i keep looking at that photo and it looks at first glance she is sucking something.......then i realise she is either in love with herself or her computer,
no damage done here, reminds of a woman I met.
fantasic looker 50 ish looked 30,isshh
Why? never married no children worked all her life and her career just (in her words fluttered around like a butterfly) but now she wants to be in a relationship.
Hmmmmmmmmm..........on close questioning she had fallen for a guy for 3 years he dumped her cheated on her, now that spun her head and reinforced her previous life style.
i said, so now you decide you want to be with someone but you have just started a business and are telling me you have no time for a man???
weird huh!???...................oh well, unrequited love was more like "I brought it on myself"
Posted by: waternympho at July 27, 2008 6:34 PM
Timewarp - if it's only 18 and you want to warm the room up a bit more, just have 2 helpings of the 4-bean mix. You won't need to turn the heater on then... lmao :)
Posted by: heart2heart57 at July 27, 2008 6:09 PM
Kurli, I believe the reason he won't take any advice from anyone is one his over inflated ego, but the main one is he gets attention and like any spoiled kid or older man in this case he will continue. You certainly don't have to answer but whatever attracted you to him, you seem so........well......normal.
Posted by: iaminperth at July 27, 2008 4:53 PM
iamonearthsomewherinoz.
chickens? chickens? stuff your chickens !!!with breadcrumbs and sage tomato and onion.
I'll just wonder over and grab a bit .........on second thought email it to me.
Posted by: waternympho at July 27, 2008 4:49 PM
You guys are really out there.i mean so far out you are on another planet, i would be totally off my face if I had to live with half of you for more than 5 minutes.
Anyone see Batman?
Now that is what I call a very bad case of Unrequited love...........poor bb
Posted by: waternympho at July 27, 2008 4:42 PM
I bought two lovely chickens and going to cook them in a large le crueset pot. Firstly you brown them all over and then pop them in your pot with garlic, white wine, carrots, celery and potatoes and all the seasonings and then pop the pot in the oven on 160 for 90 minutes and yum...dinner's on the table. I guess you would call it a hearty meal on a cold wet day in downtown Perth and it doesn't matter how many people wander in there will be plenty to eat and some left over for tomorrow as well. Where's VIRGIL, the Eagles won a game, yay!!!!
Posted by: iaminperth at July 27, 2008 4:37 PM
Jenniferhi@8.35pm Saturday,and Troy@8.40pm.
Thanks for your comments re the TW........(Saves me saying it!
But he won't take your advice on board re dating,dated language or even food.
Posted by: kurli at July 27, 2008 4:36 PM
Just type your comments, who cares about typos, everyone does them depending on how much time they can spend. Just don't worry about it so long as it is readable.
Posted by: iaminperth at July 27, 2008 4:33 PM
littlla has arrived and I am only too willing to play the game of catch me if you can.
Must be something in the air tonight or evryone is dating looking for that special someone, may as well be the phantom.
Posted by: littlela at July 27, 2008 4:22 PM
Aqueousdb66.
Just type in the box, no one but no one, does not make typos on the site and generally they are well mannered and mature enough not to tag points off you.
When you have made your post, go to right mouse click on \"select all"/ then click right mouse and select "copy" then go to "post your coment. Keep your eye on the address box on the tool bar. Keep your eye on the processing wheel, it can take a fair while at times to finish spinning, (if you press it too soon it will double post.) Then the sign should come up return to comment page, if it disappears (as it so often does) go to the comment box again and "paste" but go through the same proceedure again. If you do this several times then consider you post has been cut for "mods" only known reason.
The Lynatch method as taught to me as a new blogger.
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at July 27, 2008 3:55 PM
Warped.
It is not easy to find low cost protein so those cheap chooks are the go. I get 'em some times. Kangaroo is much cheaper and more nutritious than steak and a lot leaner so I go for that and the 415 gram cheap cans of Ally pink salmon at Coles are a bargain I reckon. Easy to cook with too; some pasta cooked up and a hundred grams of the fish tossed through is delishmactish with a side salad.
Broccoli, in a stir fry with the 'roo- I buy fillets, roasts, steaks, snags or stirfry cuts is hard to beat. Bloody broccoli has as much or more protein as the better meats.
Eat well. Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 27, 2008 3:51 PM
Posted by: forevernow1 at July 26, 2008 11:54 AM - I am sorry for your loss and believe you may have enjoyed more than FWB although you were unable to co-habitat. Perhaps something akin to lovers. For me that is the sharing of deeper emotions beyond just FWB.
Such perplexing questions have plagued women since the dawn of time. Ann Bolen waited until her wedding night and look what happened to her whereas the Virgin Mary evidently did not, yet she is revered (okay, probably pushing the boundaries with that one). Anyway, whatever sort of relationship you aspire to the answer is individually based.
For me, a happy medium would be respectful and preferred. Not so long that your wondering if they are gay (LAT) but not groping on the first few dates and definitely not if you believe you have no potential for a longer term or are under the influence (Rev)!
Posted by: aqueousdb66 at July 27, 2008 12:18 AM
It is not easy to find low cost protein so those cheap chooks are the go. I get 'em ome times. Kangaroo is much cheaper and more nutritious than steak and a lot leaner so I go for that and the 415 gram cheap cans of Ally pink salmon at Coles are a bargain I reckon. Easy to cook with too; some pasta cooked up and a hundred grams of the fish tossed through is delishmactish with a side salad.
Broccoli, in a stir fry with the 'roo- I buy fillets, roasts, steaks, snags or stirfry cuts is hard to beat. Bloody broccoli has as much or more protein as the better meats.
Eat well Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 26, 2008 9:40 PM
Thanks guys, appreciate your help. Problem is most posts don't work first time around (no alternative meaning intended), which is why i use word and don't want spend time previewing, sorry H2H. Testing your theory now LAT. Of course, could accidently post my email contact details but guess RSVP would moderate that! And boy, takes some fancy finger work on the mouse pad!
Posted by: aqueousdb66 at July 26, 2008 8:48 PM
What is it with all you soft spell checkers? Just type directly into the dialouge box and be a man/woman and if you can't spell cop it sweet!!! Geez.
TW, you just don't get it with the dating thing in my view. We are all different however and good luck to you mate.
Marcus, you are correct. Sometimes, it pays to go earlier and pay for a hot one. The Coles chooks are a lot lot like the old disco days when the places used to close at 1:00am. At 12:45, given no success with the more palatable hot chooks there was a scramble for the left over tepid ones.
Troy
Posted by: troyohboy at July 26, 2008 8:40 PM
Timewarp - You calling Perth "Doll", must surely just about send her over the edge. You better watch out! Imagine if a guy called her that on a date, or babe, OMG. Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at July 26, 2008 8:35 PM
Marcus I had for dinner the filling out of an englsh-style pork pie (pitched the 'poisonous' lard-pastry crust), a round of chicken, avocado, mayo and pepper sandwiches on Bergen wholemeal, a little tub of Jalna yoghurt, half a tiny custard apple and half a raw carrot.
Will have a 4-beans-based tossed salad for supper, 3 or 4 hours later. Only down to 18 in this room so far. Or soup and toast if it gets too cold by then.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 26, 2008 8:31 PM
Ah, heart2heart, the horizontal cha cha....yes, being a ballroom dancer, l should have picked that one up a bit earlier, eh??.... The horizontal rumba is the FWB dance of choice though :-)............
Posted by: auntykaz at July 26, 2008 8:11 PM
TW, don't the shops open after 5 up there in the Sunshine State??
I would NOT be happy if that was the case down here in Melbourne.......
Tonight is chicken, roasted pumpkin and crispy pancetta risotto, with spinach, pinenuts and cherry tomatoes thrown in at the end, with a nice glass of Houghton's White Classic....... well maybe two glasses then...............................K
Posted by: auntykaz at July 26, 2008 8:04 PM
Strange - I've been trying to post regarding the apostrophes too. Aqueous, if you are compiling your posts in another editor (to spell check etc) then cutting and pasting into here, you'll need to preview your text first, then go over the duds you can see with the editor in here. Hope this one gets through, and I hope it solves your probs...
Posted by: heart2heart57 at July 26, 2008 7:57 PM
Marcus at 7.29pm: You eat better than I do, unless I eat out. Which I do 4 main meals a week, whenever I can afford it. Accompanied by an RSVP first date if possible - 2 birds with one feed.
Missing a cheap chook tonight was all my own fault for typing just one more post before I left, which got me there right at 5pm closing time, instead of 4.45, when I could have lurked behind the tall bread gondola, and suddenly pounced out when they reduced the last few chooks at about 4.50pm.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 26, 2008 7:47 PM
timewarp1 at July 26, 2008 6:10 PM
Your .... got grabbed in the supermarket again so to speak mate. That seems to happen about 100% of the time even though there is only a 50% probability.
Enjoy your meal. I'm having brown rice salmon and egg frittata with zucchine carrot and ginger.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 26, 2008 7:29 PM
iaminperth at 4:52 PM: Of course you wouldn't, doll.
Because you're not really fair dinkum about finding a Ken doll for the kind of 2-way bliss stuff that Tassiedude and Joyful were talking about below. Let alone the hope that it'll continue for the rest of your lives.
But I am. Am I ever! And so is my match. Because she is my match, in recklessness for a start.
If she thinks she's onto a likely bloke, she'll whip out her appointments diary to plan where and when for seconds, as fast as I will.
Because she'll be really glad that she's met a bloke who's fair dinkum about what's next, unlike you and all the other other timorous tyre-kickers, hesitant about even thinking at leisure later on, about putting a toe in the water. Next!
PS: No chooks left, so I got $1 each of shoulder ham and bacon scraps, to bomb up/ protein-boost a couple of cans of pea and ham and potato and bacon chunky soups.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 26, 2008 6:10 PM
Perth, l look after several 90+ gents who NEVER smell like that!!!!
They always take great care with their hygiene, and one of them, 94 and legally blind always smells like he is going on a date.
Their washing is always done same day and returned fresh and ironed beautifully.
Don't write them off just because they are in Nursing Homes, they ARE being looked after....... well mine are anyway........ huff over...............K
Posted by: auntykaz at July 26, 2008 6:00 PM
Troy at 4.11pm: I think you overstate my case, old son. Read what I said to Willow at 1.35pm.
My first meetings result from my kisses 85% of the time, and hers for the rest. I sent the kiss because her profile sounded + looked like a possibility. I guess she did too. A lot of girls say they liked what they saw as possibilities in my eyes, so they're visual too.
I'm happy to hear from anyone who sends me a kiss and then happy to meet anyone who's put her money where her kisser was, when I invited her email.
If I wasn't, I'd be like the 65% of women I've kissed, who said no thanks, or didn't even bother to reply (about 50/50.)
So we have the meeting, and about 80% of the time I'm really glad we met because she was an interesting person, but I have no wish to meet her again, one to one. (But I might try to recruit her for tennis or poetry groups etc that I'm in.)
So I'm honest enough to level with her there and then, and only a very few of the never-had-kids show any apparent discomfort that our gamble hadn't paid off.
So few of them appeal to me that when I meet one who does, I go straight into semi-woo mode, and go for another date.
And if she doesn't buy it, that just proves I'm not anything like what she's looking for, so it's goodbye without regrets.
I'm a realist, and don't morph into a heart-on-sleeve romantic till I feel a little secure in her affections. Otherwise it's pearls before swine.
What do you girls think?
Cheap chook at Coles time. Seeyez.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 26, 2008 4:55 PM
TW's posts about his second meeting sound a bit more like a job interview, but that maybe what it really is. I have to agree with you Troy and I think it is a lot of pressure to put on someone on a first meeting, I won't say date. I think it is fine being asked if you someone can ring you but to tie you down to a place and a time for another meeting would be a bit daunting I think - now let me see I will just check my schedule. I would find it cold and imposing and couldn't be bothered.
Posted by: iaminperth at July 26, 2008 4:52 PM
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 26, 2008 1:00 PM But if she too wants a second meeting, I try to schedule it there and then, before she gets cold feet. Salesbods call it "closing", and you do it while the prospect is still hot.
I guess thats one of the differences between you and I old fella. Your method is like impulse buying and/or a means to get that next date/close that deal. For me it is either right or wrong in terms of the chance for a longer term relationship. You are more interested in quantity over quality. This is why you are so easily able to tell someone you are not interested and have no feelings whilst when you told they are not interested in you it does not affect you. All a bit cold mate. I struggle a little as I know how it feels to be rebuffed....it 'ain't a business transaction. If you manage your business this way you won't have much success either....ooops, sorry about that.
As a general aside, I dated a few times a woman from rsvp who was a knockout and we shared so many interests. She brushed me as I took too long to put the hard word on her....if I'd only realised I would have so gone hard, she was HOT!!!
Troy
Posted by: troyohboy at July 26, 2008 4:11 PM
I don't have a problem with apostrophes.
Do your draft on a 'New Message' from Outlook Express, save it by copying the file to Inbox, or Drafts then highlight and drag to the blogge comment window.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 26, 2008 4:08 PM
heart2heart57 at July 26, 2008 2:05 PM
Same. I've been trying to give Aqueous some sage advice on apostrophes and both posts have floated off into cyber space. Hang in there, Aqueous! I'll save you (once these damned posts actually get posted)! Or maybe I'll post in another topic and hope you find it.
Posted by: ninaschen at July 26, 2008 3:05 PM
Hmmmm... only every second post seems to get through. Nothing offensive that I can think of in those that don't, so I wonder where they end up...?
Posted by: heart2heart57 at July 26, 2008 2:05 PM
willow29 at July 25, 2008 10:41 AM: I'm with how you are at the moment. Enthusiastic fantasy about the future is so good for us, body and mind. The delicious "what if ..."
But tempered with the realisation that for a start, it's only a delicious hope. So you give them a small benefit of any doubt that you may have, and you act fairly enthusiastically towards them.
But you have the left-brained accountant watching them very carefully all the time for bum notes, so you don't get too carried away too soon.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 26, 2008 1:35 PM
troyohboy at July 25, 2008 9:33 AM: That's why I decide towards the end of the first date whether or not I want a second meeting (I don't think past that, till the end of the 2nd date, and so on.)
And if I don't, I've got the balls to say so, there and then. With several of the least-challenging reasons that I can think of.
It took a lot of courage at first, but after I'd done it over 100 times, not so difficult, and kinder than leaving them guessing.
If I want another meeting, I say so, and ask her if she does too. About 20 have then said no thanks, and I know where I stand.
But if she too wants a second meeting, I try to schedule it there and then, before she gets cold feet. Salesbods call it "closing", and you do it while the prospect is still hot.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 26, 2008 1:00 PM
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 25, 2008 10:37 PM
Marcus I don't entirely ignore your posts... just find 50% drivel and 50% rude insulting and childish.
Name calling for starters ,," Nympho"? how droll!
Posted by: waternymph47 at July 26, 2008 12:23 PM
Ok, just to explain my last post,I walked out on an abusive 3 year marriage.My husband was an alcoholic, just could not live with that.However when he was fine he was the best friend you could have.So, our relationship changed to fwb and over the next 11 years it worked well, until he pasted away last November from alcohol abuse.I will never forget the wonderful times we had together
Posted by: forevernow1 at July 26, 2008 11:54 AM
Posted by: jenniferhi at July 25, 2008 11:07 AM
I am still here Jen, thank you for asking.......just got internet at home so I might be more "visible" again.........ah, unrequited love, is there another sort........hope so........Jen, from your post July 25, my experience is that any business that "shuts up shop" that quickly usually means they're selling sh*t, and not very well.......... I agree, a simple e-mail is just not that difficult (though I also agree, with an earlier post....dear God, please don't let it be it one from LarksandSquawks...that sometimes it is difficult to define what isn't there, and to know how to create closure on such vague notions, I guess it is the antithesis of what we discussed in "what are you searching for" in all its intangiblity...I don't think that was ever quantified?? ) ....though none of this changes good manners, and common courtesy.........as you rightly pointed out it just isn't cricket to disappear.......as always, just a thought from the addled mind of spanky......Hope you're all well
Posted by: spanky668 at July 26, 2008 11:40 AM
Yeh Kaz - 'Friendly' ~S~. I think the original interpretation was more along the lines of the horizontal cha-cha, but 'Friendly' works for me. After all, you have to be kinda 'friends' - otherwise the 'Buddies' thing wouldn't make sense, would it...? :)
Posted by: heart2heart57 at July 26, 2008 11:39 AM
Posted by: willow29 at July 25, 2008 1:07 PM
Marcus; "Women need more awareness that that is often how, and all a reasonable relationship with a man who likes you but is not in love with you is." I think we do at heart and often thats ok with the woman too. We don't all want to marry (again!)
Well said Willow, sometimes that type of friendship is longer lasting then the " in love " Scenario. As you say not every one wants to get married or even live with someone for that matter. Has worked well for me in the past
Posted by: forevernow1 at July 26, 2008 11:27 AM
Not quite talking about perfume but guys a little tip...if you are hanging out your clean washing don't leave it on the washing line for a week to dry, get wet again, dry again as by the time you get it in it has a musty smell. Unfortunately if you wear these clothes they are probably nice and clean but they have a sort of 'old man' smell about them that no perfume or aftershave is going to conceal. So guys on their own, get your washing dry as quickly as possible. If you do forget and leave it out there for a couple of days it might mean it has to be washed again. Towels especially and if you dry yourself with them you could end up smelling like a 90 year old in a nursing home and that is not a good look.
Posted by: iaminperth at July 26, 2008 10:55 AM
heart2heart, many of us have done something similar in the past, but it really makes no difference where the post is put - it's all good to read :)
willow29, I wish you well and a better weekend than last (you sounded a bit melancholy after the last one). In matters of the heart my approach (which is definitely not for everyone, I know) is to enjoy, but keep a cautious eye out at the same time so as not to get too carried away.
Posted by: malsie at July 25, 2008 10:47 PM
I was in my friends shoe shop earlier and her and 2 others were discussing how, I quote, 'men can be such idiots'. Shoe queen had introduced a man she knew to her gf- who on sight is by my reckoning a 45 yo honey. After 6 weeks and several dates this bloke was still shaking hands to greet her and not even apecking on the cheek to say good bye. She said plainly that the time was weeks past for that and she thought him an idiot and weirdo for not getting passionate; after all she wasn't looking for a hubby. She saw his extended 'respect' and 'I'm getting to know you' as contrived and as innapropriate as a major first date lunge.
waternymph47 July 25, 2008 3:49
Nympho, was that your comedy post for the week? If you are advising not to "...take much notice of Marcus and his "home truths ..." why devote a post to acknowledging that they did hit home?Honestly, at 60 something, with all the experience you claim you are still half way through 'Blokes 101' Granted take on board what the Sydney marsupial said but listen to others too. Don't rule something out because it doesn't fit your world view of sexual relationships. FFS, RSVP is an adult's meeting site not a feeding and baby change station. There is a clear set of rules for RSVP and the blogges. It is 'Approach With Caution'Perhaps you should once again reveal your legs because the peep at intellect and personality alone wasn't that inspiring.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 25, 2008 10:37 PM
...and thankyou for the kind words Aqueous...
Posted by: heart2heart57 at July 25, 2008 10:09 PM
Oh look! And there's the posts in TRD that I couldn't find before (in here). Hmmm... wonder if the Sliding Doors effect means I won't get my Flake at the chip-shop next week now? Just goes to show, you don't have to have a long neck to be a goose...:)
Posted by: heart2heart57 at July 25, 2008 10:06 PM
heart2heart57, is the other part friendly???
Just jokin there BTW.....................K
Posted by: auntykaz at July 25, 2008 8:41 PM
H2H cannot see you having any problems finding what your looking for either. Had squiz at your profile and with your penchant for aftershave, absolutely eloquent use of language and such cool toys I don�t think you will be blogging for long!
LAT, how is that for male support!
BTW can anyone pinpoint why my damn apostrophes don�t work!
Posted by: aqueousdb66 at July 25, 2008 8:21 PM
good to see its not just me who freaks out at the people who want to go a million miles an hour. its almost like you dont matter and its just a case of "insert name here"....
Posted by: kisskat at July 25, 2008 8:15 PM
LAT love the way you rake the sandpit!
Posted by: aqueousdb66 at July 25, 2008 7:43 PM
Jee-zuz... Go to work for a day, and there's a million posts to slog through LoL. Don't you guys have anything better to do? ~L~. Thought I'd pop in to see how the Great Perfume Debate was going only to find my last post has scolled off the bottom here and headed for Antartica. Some might say it was close to manure anyways, so at least it will be bio-degradable - probably end up feeding some fish along the way, which will be gobbled up by a seal, who will become the main course for a shark, that will get caught in a net, and I'll pick it up at the local fish'n'chip shop next week sometime. So it wouldn't have been wasted...
Anywho... I can't remember who suggested to give Ralph Lauren's "Safari" a try, but I wandered into Perfume Connection this morning to give it a whirl. Nup. It's not me. Kinda has a bit of a cats-wee ring to it on my skin (*urk*), but I did find a rather cheeky little number called Altamir by Ted Lapidus - rich Oriental tones with a soft mellow sweetness to it. Might just have to break out the Bankcard for that one :)
And I'm gonna steer well away from the FWB convo, uh-huh. Suffice to say, we used to call them FB's, the B being 'Buddies'...
Posted by: heart2heart57 at July 25, 2008 7:15 PM
What interesting comments there have been today.
�Friendship extends easily to a bit sex for a male�. LAT I have a problem with that statement. Seems to me far too easily. We may not all want to marry as Willow said but that doesn�t mean settling for FWB. I would rather NOT have sex than see a man who just likes me and doesn�t see any potential to love me. I am not prude or prune but these days deciphering the difference is just too hard (oh, poor me) and I have more respect for myself.
Waternymph, does seem so old fashioned but with an exception or two every man I have met on RSVP has disappeared in silence or turned away just as fast when clear they are not going to achieve their sexual goals as quickly as they hoped.
Hope that is not indicative of ME! And no comments Rev!
Hey LAT, where to now? BTW women are attracted to men because of their pheremones. Like attracts like or maybe that�s the other way around.
Posted by: aqueousdb66 at July 25, 2008 7:06 PM
I would love to hear Grego's non-Waterbombe partner give her opinion on some of the sexist nonsense that goes on here. If it was truly objective and unbiased It would be good for the males to get some support.
Ok smells. So what if a bloke smells like a bloke from time to time at the end of the day? Do we really need to coat ourselves or clothes with expensive, possibly dangerous, chemicals to live up to another market inspired ideal? Who cares if a blokes jocks smell of a Bulgari or the fact he didn't dab his nob with a bit of toilet paper? Haha. From a mans point of view, freshly washed he is likely attractive to women because of the clean release of pheremones from glands in the armpit and groin.
Women from an evolutionary point of view it is said are far more concerned about cleanliness and from it smell, because they are much more susceptible to infection through the vagina and related bits.
My favorite men's fragrance is sometimes cutting oil.When I am around my metal machinist and smell it I know my parts are being produced. He wears 'Castrol' or Fuch's 'Titan'
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 25, 2008 5:53 PM
FWB - Friends with 'benefits.' There is a blog titled just that, even though in an earlier blog to the actual titled one, there was great detail about it all. Pretty common arrangement these days.
Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at July 25, 2008 5:14 PM
egernia at July 25, 2008 3:00 PM
Tend to agree; the funny thing was the last 3 times I saw her she contacted me and there was no sex involved at my say so.
That apparently was the evidence for my bad behaviour -that and I was seen somewhere dancing (vertically) with other women.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 25, 2008 5:13 PM
Posted by: jenniferhi at July 25, 2008 12:40 PM
jenni I wouldnt take much notice of Marcus and his "home truths" if I were you .. no one else does.
Yes you should be able to expect a little common courtesy, and as such a "Thanks but no thanks" when someone you have communicated with and met decides they have "Thanks for meeting me today but .. No further interest" (which is how I got told after 1 meeting .. but at least I knew)!
If I remember it correctly .. Tassiedude .. way back in blogs .. said that "men will go to great lengths to charm a woman into having sex with them .. but women should hold back if it is a relationship they are looking for ... as he will surely move on as soon as he has achieved what he set out to get.This type of man will also turn away just as fast when it is clear that they are not going to achieve the sexual goal as quickly as they hoped if at all. Either way ... not the type of guy to hope to have a relationship with"
At the risk of being considered Old Fashioned here .. I think there should be a clear set of rules/etiquet spelled out for those who use RSVP. I guess there is to a degree but of course some people will always believe that the rules are made to be bent and someone elses feelings are less important than their own!
Posted by: waternymph47 at July 25, 2008 3:49 PM
jenniferhi at July 25, 2008 12:40 PM
OK I see what you were getting at.
I have said "It has been nice getting to know you, but I don't have romantic feelings. Thanks"
That much should be a given for any mannered man's exit. The thing I was on about, the full 4 A4 pages, relationship deconstruction analysis often ends up being undignified for the person giving it and meaningless or unread by the receiver.
amberlite 58 at July 25, 2008 12:28 PM
Thanks for your concern about my sex life again.
And yes, Pastor are you there?
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 25, 2008 3:32 PM
Marcus, I would think that she saw the more frequent gtg's as some sort of shift in the relationship and romanticised it to a great extent.
It perhaps signalled to her a change in attitude perhaps? Woman can magnify small gestures and blow them out of all proportions especially if shes in love/lust with you. I sincerely hope your 5 year relationship has survived this hump.
Willow29 Love can make you giddy. Good luck.
Posted by: egernia at July 25, 2008 3:00 PM
Jen, in your last post what does FWB mean ? Sorry for being dumb. I remember FHB (family hold back) from my childhood.
rgds grego
Posted by: grego7 at July 25, 2008 2:59 PM
Marcus; "Women need more awareness that that is often how, and all a reasonable relationship with a man who likes you but is not in love with you is." I think we do at heart and often thats ok with the woman too. We don't all want to marry (again!)
Grego, Jen and Amber - thank you :)
Posted by: willow29 at July 25, 2008 1:07 PM
Marcus you are getting me wrong in some ways on this. I certainly don't see any need in "home truths" about why it might not work or why it isn't working. I mean, someone you have been in contact with, for usually some time, start going out, then nothing. It IS childish not to say, "Sorry, I can't see this working out for us but its been nice getting to know you" That sort of thing. Simple! The mature thing to do.
Have a think about this, most of us I would think have quite a bit of contact before we actually meet. Yes? Can be hours and hours of chat, talk, whatever. You start going out and you surely at least believe you are friends if nothing more. Friends deserve respect. Friends deserve a closure.
FWB is a whole different ball game. That's all been discussed on these blogs before. The rules need to be made clear from the start. Then if one or the other finds a more permanent relationship, the closure has already kind of been settled from the start. And usually you would think the friendship is still there. You would be happy for each other.
Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at July 25, 2008 12:40 PM
Good Luck Willow,
hope everything turns out the way you want it to! :)
Posted by: amberlight58 at July 25, 2008 12:37 PM
Yes Greg, I also wondered about Virgil the other night. Haven't heard from him for a while. You out there Virg, is everything okay?
Stoic has often tended to be sporadic, loves the more political topics
Posted by: amberlight58 at July 25, 2008 12:31 PM
So she has experienced the "He's just not that into You" moment has she Marcus?
Perhaps you could give her a copy as a "going away" present!
Posted by: amberlight58 at July 25, 2008 12:28 PM
jenniferhi at July 25, 2008 10:29 AM
It's not about being childish or running away Jen.
I see the same things as Troy. I honestly think that it is patronising to a woman in her 30's, 40's or 50's to have to explain that feelings are not reciprocated regardless of the intensity of feeling. The other point is that it often comes down to particular reasons why you are not physically or emotionally interested in a person. It is not kind giving them what you see as home truths in great detail. Even when there has been a long relationship and it finishes its finished, does it need to be disected? A relationship is a living thing not a machine with a mechanism that can be analysed and repaired or written off.
And of course the other point, the major one often is that the man is only interested in sex, and there is really nothing else to discuss. I had the talk with someone recently who I had seen sporadically for five years. By that I mean perhaps once every 3 or 4 months, mostly at her instigation. The last couple of times at intervals of about 8 weeks she started talking as though we were in a committed relationship that had lasted 60 months. We had spoken many times about the casual fwb situation; an outing, dinner, in the sack, home and she was happy or said so, with that. All of a sudden she decides to start building a nest and critiscising my behaviour to her friends and pretending we had somehow been an item. That same stupid intensity to 'marry' Troy mentioned had surfaced. Friendship extends easily to a bit of sex for a male. Women need more awareness that that is often how, and all a reasonable relationship with a man who likes you but is not in love with you is.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 25, 2008 12:04 PM
Hi jen@11.07,
Yes I know you and a lot of the regulars are, no doubt about greg either, just wonder why he would want to blog when he has such a woman. I will respond to him because he has the decency to have a face.
The faceless ones I equate to a annonymous phone caller, they get hung up on, so I chose not to generally respond to the faceless, but it is hard not to at times.
Still no stamp faceless one, then you will get told what you don't want to hear.
Add a dollop of port (secret?) I thought most people did that, I do not always, depends on how good the port is,so I left it off my receipe.
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at July 25, 2008 11:58 AM
It does seem that some people (men and women) are ready to "jump in" to a new relationship far too quickly, before they even really know the person.
Maybe it is desperation, maybe it is just not really thinking if this person is truly for you.
I know I tended to be like that in my teens and twenties, you know go out with him twice and you are writing your name with his surname!
Which is probably why I married my ex and then spent the next twenty-two years trying to convince myself that I hadn't made an awful mistake and that he really did want the same things out of our relationship that I did!
However after living that kind of life, I am going to be much more cautious in the future.
I want to get to know the person and be sure that we have the same values and are able to "connect" emotionally as well as physically. That we understand (or at least are willing to try to understand!) each other and have the same aspirations for our relationship.
I recently read an article about marriage and how much stress and planning goes into the ceremony, just a few hours, but how many people ever "plan" their relationship? Discuss where they want to be in 3 or 5 years?
Discuss their dreams, plans and aspirations?
While I'm not keen to marry again, I would like to one day have a committed relationship. However, I would rather be alone than go through a similar experience again!
However my ex, after meeting someone and going out with them for 6 weeks, insisted on our children meeting her and telling them that this lady "could be your step-mother in a year or so"!
He was in such a hurry, but she had different ideas and the relationship only lasted a few months. According to my older kids he is quite bitter about it, and says only negative stuff about her (and likes to think she will regret it later on!) but it appears that he had decided they would be together, but actually hadn't checked if she was feeling the same way!
I was amazed to say the least, considering he had complained to people after I left him, how unhappy he had been with me, and how much me leaving had "cost" him financially, that he wouldn't be far more cautious before even thinking about "settling down" again.
But I suppose because he had always seen me as the "problem" in our marrriage, he thought it would all be rosy with someone new. He didn't need to change his ideas, just his woman!
Maybe that is what is happening when people want to jump in too quickly, they haven't really done the"hard yards" on their previous relationships.
It will all be "different" and "better" with someone else, because they haven't thought about how they might have contributed to relationship problems in the past.
However, as soon as their new love does or says anything that might vaguely remind them of their previous partner, they cool off quickly as in "here it goes again" or "typical, all women/ men are bitches/bastards" (except me, of course; I am just a victim) because once again there is a flaw in their fairytale romance or "prince/princess".
Instead of asking themselves why whatever the person said or did should have upset them so much and checking if the other person may have had a genuine reason for saying or doing what they did, it is far easier to withdraw and simply look for a new "prince/princess" and start all over again in a new "fairytale" romance.
Maybe it is better to pull the reins quickly once you detect a person in a real hurry to settle down, as Willow descibed in her post, than to have to endure a very bumpy and heartbreaking ride in the future!
Posted by: amberlight58 at July 25, 2008 11:54 AM
In addition to Jen's comment. Where are you Virgil and Misspriss?
Willow, yep, just follow your feelings.
rgds grego
Posted by: grego7 at July 25, 2008 11:48 AM
Jen, Hehe, I'm not going to kiss and tell, but thank you :)
Posted by: willow29 at July 25, 2008 11:36 AM
Yes Willow you did! Goodness, is it with who some of us might think it is? Just let it flow. I hope it is all wonderful. Truly! Good Luck.
Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at July 25, 2008 11:12 AM
Anyone heard from Spanky? And where is Stoic lately? Have missed their posts. Someone else has been quiet of late. But hooray for that! I am so over HER! Sorry, know I am not normally bitchy, but sometimes enough is enough!
To oldergent - Just so you know, I have been in email contact with Grego, And actually hope to talk to him on the phone today. Can report back if you really need me to, but don't think that will be necessary. Think you know I am one of the genuine ones - yes?
Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at July 25, 2008 11:07 AM
omg did I post that?!!!!
Posted by: willow29 at July 25, 2008 10:57 AM
Troyohboy: Interesting comments. One of the men that I met starting talking, on the first date about "our" future holidays and prenuptuals...another enthusiastically told me how he was going to help with my farm and what "we" should be growing - again on the first date. The reins were pulled very quickly.
But recently, I feel like I have lost my head and become intoxicated by... by what...? infatuation? I have the impression that "he" is amused, surprised and perhaps even a bit distainful of my gaucheness and naivity.
I hope he doesnt respond with "yes that's good but Im not interested" because in spite of my self-dismay, Im actually enjoying resurrecting emotions and physical feelings that were long buried.
Maybe I've been living in the country too long. :)
Posted by: willow29 at July 25, 2008 10:41 AM
Troyoboy, I have had the same over-enthusiasm time after time and it is really very off-putting, even if you really liked the person and would happily have seen them again to take things slowly. If, after writing that you are not interested, they continue to write I think it fine to cut contact. They are verging on harrasment which is not okay, whichever sex.
I think that Jen and I were talking about those who keep you dangling and wondering what happened with no word at all.
Posted by: oohlala1 at July 25, 2008 10:40 AM
Thanks for your honest reply Troy. And yes maybe some women are quite desperate to have a man with them at all times. You are a really good looking man so I can certainly understand women liking the idea of having you on their arm.
I do think some women can build up much more about the whole relationship thing than men do. (Men can too of course) And if it has got sexual, we know how women can take that to meaning a commitment, while the man is no-where near that thinking. That's why I guess a lot of us really liked those posts by Tassiedude and ERAL. And we all really know all that.
To me though the men that just shut shop, (and I know women do it too, because my ex and other male friends are on here and they tell me their version of stuff as well) I just don't get that. You at least have said, to the best of your ability, made closure with them. So that is being as authentic as you can be. I have had to do that too, and of course it is hard. You feel awkward, the words are hard. So whether it is in person, phone, or email, it doesn't matter. At least it is closed to the best of your ability. And you know what? If you did it to the best of your ability, that is good enough. We can't do any more.
I can understand it would have hurt hearing that gossip that was talked about you. Have to question there what type of friend would even pass that on, but that's a whole other discussion. Won't go there except to say gossip is a real evil. But remember this, if you act ethically, and authentically, "What other people think of you is none of your business." It's they who have the problem.
I guess I just don't get the whole inability of people not being able to be truthful about things. I still like to think most are genuine and looking for that wonderful connection. But why can't they step up and make closure if it isn't right?
As I type I wonder if maybe I am always honest. Say I get a kiss from someone, and not really interested, I have often just said thanks, but that I am in contact with someone when I should have said, thanks but no thanks. That does make it unfair on the ones, that maybe you may like to make contact with further down the track if ones you are not in contact with don't work out.
Oh, I don't know. But do know I think people this age must still have a lot of that liitle child mentality of running away when the going gets tough or saying goodbye. It's easier perhaps than standing up and being adult about things.
Hope we hear some other views.
Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at July 25, 2008 10:29 AM
Posted by: jenniferhi at July 25, 2008 8:05 AM
Hi Jen, just my opinion, and it won't help, but I think it comes down to a basic emotional difference between 'most' men and 'most' women. Men are just far more detatched than women, certainly early in a potential or real relationship......generally. That certainly means that many more men than women are able to give all the appearance of wanting a relationship and may just want sex. It may also be they do want a relationship and something happens to change their mind. Most men are able to switch off emotionally in ways few women can. Most women can't understand how a man can change so quickly but there you are, just the way it is.
Your comments caused me to think back on my time at rsvp and, whilst I believe I behaved honourably and ethically, there are women who would say "that bast**d". Indeed a woman, met through rsvp, I had had a drink with once and remained in contact with as friends emailed me once to tell me she had been at an industry function that day. In her words the table next to her was full of blondes talking about rsvp which caused her to pay attention. These women spent an amount of time making player type references about a profile by the name of troyohboy. Apparently they all had met me....once. Now my perception is that I always acted appropriately however their view was, obviously, that I had not. I met a lot of women once and, in fact, started to think there was something wrong with me not 'clicking' with any of them when they tended to be attractive, intelligent, successful, heads screwed on etc. We had very pleasent meetings and left on good terms. Jen, is it at this point I should have looked them in the eye and said thanks but no thanks? I am honestly asking. Most wanted to go out again, and said so, however I found it difficult to tell them it was not for me. I did email but sometimes it was difficult as many women I found went really hard really early and I received emails and texts gushing with enthusiasm so found it difficult to reply "yeah that's good but not interested". The intensity of many women, I found, is quite overwhelming. Is it because so many are desperate to be with someone? Are there so few men that they figure they have to act quickly?
Troy
Posted by: troyohboy at July 25, 2008 9:33 AM
Methinks that they are the players, Jen. I know my man was, but I was so carried away with the romancing etc that I only realised afterwards when he was nothing but dust.
I have met many lovely gentlemen here too and the percaentages seem to be with them. Guess we all have to come across some rude ones, but how hard is it to drop a line or send an sms?
Posted by: oohlala1 at July 25, 2008 9:29 AM
Oh, further to what I just wrote. I will say the man in question got a pretty detailed email re "closure" from me. But you guys know me, I did it in a fairly friendly manner, just gave him heaps of things to think about re women and how you treat peoople. Even signed off wishing him well in his search and kisses at the end. Still no balls to even reply. As I said before - pathetic!
Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at July 25, 2008 8:05 AM
ohlala - 7.09 pm I had a guy do that to me too. He pursued and pursued me. Lived a long way away, (hour and half drive) so heaps of chat, email, phone. Agreed to meet when I was staying up near where he lives. Met each other 3 days in a row. Then met a couple of weeks later at an auction. He wanted me to stay with him that night. I said no, certainly wasn't ready for that at that stage. So, that was it. I thought we were still friends, to be in contact, and still see where things would lead. But no. Not one more piece of contact. I had phoned him. No answer! Hmmmm. How absolutely pathetic! Certainly showed his true colours.
This is the stuff I simply don't get. What is it with some of these weak, pathetic excuses of men? I know it hasn't happened to me much, but going by some of the things written by others, it certainly goes on a lot.
Please don't think I wish to tar all guys, you know I don't. And in the most part like I have said before, I have only met the most wonderful men, and those there was relationships of sort have been fabulous. In fact got a lovely text yesterday from one I went out with a few times just checking how I am and showing a lovely care. Made me feel great to think that even though we didn't connect, that he at least still showed an interest and a care in me.
Let's get real here guys. We are people in our forties, fifties (my search area). Tell me why some of you can not close a contact with someone in a decent, mature, friendly manner? If you can't say the words, at least write.
Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at July 25, 2008 7:47 AM
Amber, I think that's Marcus's intention - as a pot stirrer, he really is awfully good.
Posted by: victoriadownunder at July 24, 2008 11:04 PM
oohlala @12.50pm.
I did not see your photo or profile nor did I get your Minstrone recipe, If I remember (and I do) you said you would have to shoot me after giving it to me. But now if you want some credence and respect "stamp" me and lets see if you can convince me over a long time.
Marcus, that is the cruel part of life. But I am glad that there is some here that can feel for you as I do. Probably the same one that dumped Oohla ? sorry mate my sense of humour.
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at July 24, 2008 10:55 PM
Marcus you may really annoy me at times, (often actually!) but I would never wish you any ill will.
Hope you are the lucky one next time!
Posted by: amberlight58 at July 24, 2008 7:42 PM
You were lucky to get a message, Marcus, I was dumped with silence last year...that hurt.
Posted by: oohlala1 at July 24, 2008 7:09 PM
Bd nws is txtd
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 24, 2008 3:02 PM
How did she tell you, Marcus?
Posted by: oohlala1 at July 24, 2008 1:17 PM
Sorry to hear that, Marcus. It isnt nice for anyone to be surplus to requirements. Move on, the "right" one is out there somewhere.
Posted by: willow29 at July 24, 2008 1:14 PM
OG, I am but here as a computer glitch...with one voice and you have, indeed, seen my face...don't you want my minestrone secret any more?...add dollop of port to however you make it:))
Posted by: oohlala1 at July 24, 2008 12:50 PM
Unrequired and unrequited case management.
This is for amber who enjoys these perspectives, and is what sometimes happens when you meet someone and become very friendly. Shortly after, probably because you are still on RSVP, you meet someone a little hotter and become lovers. You keep talking to the 'friend' who thinks you are romancing them. And keep seeing the lover. Eventually, usually within 3 weeks, the friend is unrequired, and unrequited. It applies to both sexes and happened to me (as the friend) last week.
It just goes to show there may be justice after all.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 24, 2008 12:36 PM
Faceless one@ 8.56 am
I have and I am RSViP, and the sooner they do something about you and your ilk as I have often suggested, then the better these blogs will be, whats wrong with one person one voice if the dues are paid.
OG
Posted by: oldergent at July 24, 2008 12:27 PM
Good that you clarified yourself OG, as I felt you'd taken a shot at me .. not someone else ..
Thanks TW for your kind and complimentary words :-)
Posted by: waternymph47 at July 24, 2008 11:26 AM
Once again, who has appointed any of you to be the judge of "Those who may Blog"?
When you have paid enough dues and become shareholders in RSVP I guess you can then make the decisions but till then...
Posted by: oohlala1 at July 24, 2008 8:56 AM
waternymph47 at 8:39 PM : Not only very nice legs - also an attractive written profile, and an obviously nice person blogging.
Had mentioned the legs only, because at that time we were talking specifically about looks.
I think it's bedtime, even for me. Starting to get cool - well, cool for Brisbane, and the cot is telling me I'll be so snug there. Seeyez all.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 24, 2008 12:11 AM
Waternymph@ 8.39pm.
You read me wrong, I said you had a profile,I seen your photo, but age and height are the things I respond to, you are too young and too tall to be interested in me.
My shot was at the closed no profile or photos people who want to complain. You can tell the RSViP people usually.
I must confess that from now on I will only respond to people who show a photo, for contact, the "trust me" no photo profile can hold a lot of misconceptions, especially to a trusting person, ei, age, shape, height, etc.
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at July 24, 2008 12:07 AM
marcus the separation was long long ago, in another galaxy.....just kidding....I have had a very eventful life, over a number of years and I am forever learning about love/sex/relationships and men!!! But, I have also had a lot of fun along the way, So, what about you!!!!!
Have a lovely evening all, have to hit the sack as am off to work on a project completion in Darwin in the morning...actually can not wait to get out of minus 4 here to 30 up there, and 4 days of it...god it is hard to take at times....jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at July 23, 2008 10:11 PM
Posted by: oldergent at July 23, 2008 7:54 PM
OG .... actually I too have contributed financially but I have opted to hide my face in the hope that my personality will be observed first and my face and body be of lesser importance. I'm sure you looked before .. so obviously you didnt consider me memorable or attractive when I was visible. I'm sure my rights and everyone elses are equal on here and at least my profile is visible .. unlike a few other hit and run artists!
Posted by: waternymph47 at July 23, 2008 8:39 PM
junebaby57 at July 23, 2008 7:52 PM
June is there any love/sex/relationship related trauma that hasn't happened to you lately?
That Blanche started shagging Bob in 1976 and he didn't divorce Hazel untill much later is true. Blanche waited and that was the point of it being unrequited and relevant.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 23, 2008 8:30 PM
Waternympth@5.30pm
you have a profile and up until recently had a photo showing. The faceless ones can bleat all they like, but they do nothing to support this site.
I have just spent my money again and I DO expect to be given more latitude than those that do not. If they wish to blog let the powers that be institute a bloggers only fee (and designated as such) and we will be "goodridance" to a lot of multi profilers, who do nothing but complain about lack of rights.
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at July 23, 2008 7:54 PM
Bob and Blanche have not been together for 32 years....he was narried to Hazel till the late 80's....and if blanche was chasing him then ...shame on her....the one rule that I always stick to is no married men....and if they have lied to me about being married...or living with someone...it is over on the spot. I will never ever forget the pain of finding out, when I was 6 months pregnant, that my husband was having an affair...I would never want to inflict that pain and humiliation on another woman!!
The only reason Blanche and Bob are babbling is that they want 15 minutes of fame again.....hopefully sensible people will ignore the media blurb!!!
Have a lovely evening all...jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at July 23, 2008 7:52 PM
One of Australia's better known couples who are conducting a long love affair with a lot of dramatic elements, and a marriage are in the news I see.
Blanche has been talking of her feeling for Bob and her despair at a long period with no requital. Bob is 78 and Blanche, lovely even with her tatooed eyebrows, is 64, so a great example of that terrific, much younger woman, older man dynamic that has endured over 32 years.
Excuse me a moment while a drop the age limit on my preferred partner.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 23, 2008 5:59 PM
Wrong again Marcus...I've never had a post vetted:))...but I do have a deep voice but just thought it because I was menopausal as Jogga suggested...on topic I do believe that there is sheer pleasure in a crush and it is all part of the relationship journey...it is so dreamy for a very little while because it gives you a clear picture of exactly how you want a real reciprocated relationship to feel.
Posted by: oohlala1 at July 23, 2008 5:35 PM
oohlala... you are not alone in your wondering about the charmed life of people who write "absolute cringe-worthy crap". I like your response to how to deal with it in person too LOL
Where is the fairness? Damned if I know!
Posted by: waternymph47 at July 23, 2008 5:30 PM
oohlahaha at July 23, 2008 4:30 PM
Ol' Oohlala. Another ghostly, resurrected, transvestite keyboard rattler.
I think anyone here who has an open profile and supports the site by buying product is given reasonable treatment. You have zero credibility there and as such were treated appropriately. It's time it hapened to a few other bottom feeders who never offer anything, only react.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 23, 2008 5:19 PM
No, no, no Marcus...I am just me...catch me if you can:))
I just wonder at what you get through the system and that others are punished for far less. Where is the fairness? Some of your postings are absolute cringe-worthy crap. What's with all the testicleI talk and sperm speak. If you were sitting opposite me at the dinner table, I would excuse myself, go and vomit in the bathroom and then climb out of the window...and run screaming up the street.
Posted by: oohlala1 at July 23, 2008 4:30 PM
timewarp1 at July 22, 2008 11:23 PM . I agree. Wonder if it is joga????? Sounds like him. My trusty Beagle is on the job.
Posted by: blueyedblond at July 23, 2008 9:58 AM
oohlala1 at July 22, 2008 7:17 PM
And to add to the indignity of it I didn't get to see the post for right of reply. And don't worry there is justice my posts get the filter as well.
How do you know HiddenCharms was de registered- one of yours?
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 22, 2008 8:00 PM
I find it sad that HiddenCharms has been de-registered for a rather innocuous post that took the mickey out of Marcus.
Apparently his rudeness and crudeness is perfectly acceptable to the moderator but a straight talking woman is too much
Posted by: oohlala1 at July 22, 2008 7:17 PM
Sorry about the typo on your age earlier. Slot cars were marketed here as Scalextric possibly still are.
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 22, 2008 5:49 PM
Gordon1951, thanks for the explanation of slot cars (wrote "clot cars" to start with, he he) on the now-closed blog. All is explained ... this is a translation problem. I'm English and they are known as Scalextric in Pommeranian. My brother had them, my sons had them. (They now all have Playstations.) So there, Marcus. And I'm only two years older than you, sonny.
Posted by: missrule at July 22, 2008 5:31 PM
Johnny Howard, Kaz:))
Posted by: oohlala1 at July 22, 2008 4:42 PM
("Got the old lets be friends line,now if chose to ignore this like an immature little boy i would have lost one of the most beautiful platonic friendships i have ever had with a female.So sometimes lets be friends means just that....."
Posted by: diamondsnrust at July 21, 2008 9:42 PM )
Good for yoy diamonds ...I have had some wondeful purely platonic realionships and treasure them still!
Posted by: waternymph47 at July 22, 2008 4:09 PM
iaminpert@july 21....10.01 pm
Thank you for you comment.
I have gained a fabulous thing out of unrequited love,we have an amazing friendship,a good morning email more often than not,plus an evening chat to see how each others day has been,we catch up at least once a week,dinner coffee,movie etc.I know i would be the poorer person if i did shut her out because "i did not get my own way".On your comment (sometimes friendship grows)well we have both discussed this possibility and have come to the conclusion that we don't want jeopardize what we have developed since i actually stopped dating her,although a couple of bottles of wine over dinner has tested this out occasionally(hahaha).I suppose at the end of the day its how emotionally mature you are as a person as to how you react,and some bridges are better off left intact than burnt.So good things can still come out of unrequited love.....
Posted by: diamondsnrust at July 22, 2008 2:46 PM
OOhh. Jogga can't a girl but dream??
Nothing like a Mr Negative to put the mockers on everything. As usual...........K
Posted by: auntykaz at July 22, 2008 11:53 AM
fella66- I somehow missed your post until Amber commented on it. How anguished you sound! I agree with Amber that it may be better to focus on family and friends to distract your thoughts from her. I know its easy for me to say, but after a while, the longing and pain DOES go away and all the sooner if someone genuine comes along.
Posted by: willow29 at July 22, 2008 11:22 AM
Junebaby,
Sorry that you have been hurt. As Malsie said it's hard to trust your judgement again after these kinds of experiences. Hope you feel better soon.
Diamonds, Willow and Perth, what great comments about friendship. And so true!
Posted by: amberlight58 at July 22, 2008 11:08 AM
Posted by: fella66 at July 20, 2008 11:27 PM
Sounds very sad for you, but maybe you need to back away a bit. And get a life besides her, then she might decide whether she really does want you.
I would hate to think that I was totally responsible for some other person 's happiness to those extremes.
You just can't live your life totally through one person, you need the balance of friends and family and other interests.
That kind of intensity would be frightening!
Maybe you come back to each other because you are her "fallback" guy, but then when she is with you, your obsessiveness scares her ,and she feels the need to "escape" again.
Even though in a strange way, she sort of likes the power that you can't seem to survive without her.
A sort of extreme (and unhealthy) co-dependency?
Just a thought.
Posted by: amberlight58 at July 22, 2008 10:56 AM
"He would not stay for me, and who can wonder?
He would not stay for me to stand and gaze.
I shook his hand and tore my heart in sunder
And went with half my life about my ways."
(A.E. Housman)
Posted by: willow29 at July 22, 2008 10:51 AM
That must be it, Timewarp - Im moonstruck :)
I had strange dreams about naked women doing cartwheels on ERAL's coffee table. ERAL if you do take up that girl's offer, make her do it on her own table. "Funniest Home Videos" is littered with broken tables.. *vbg*
Posted by: willow29 at July 22, 2008 10:12 AM
jogalonga at 11:34 PM: So it's gotta be unrequited love ....
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 22, 2008 9:18 AM
I would doubt that brad or any self respecting man would even bother
Posted by: jogalonga at July 21, 2008 11:34 PM
Malsie, clearly you are not up on the goss with Brad and Angelina...he isn't married to her...
Oh sure you say, but to all intents and purposes, they may as well be married, but l have to say that until she gets that ring on his finger, he is still an unmarried man....
The father of six children yeah, but still.....Ah, Malsie, there aint nothing wrong with stretching the truth a wee bit pet !!......
Musicteacher, you fickle woman you.....
Oohlala l guess you mean Johhny Depp ??....................K
Posted by: auntykaz at July 21, 2008 11:27 PM
Girls, you are all welcome to the "plastic people" of the entertainment world, come to think of it, also you men that are so inclined too.
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at July 21, 2008 11:07 PM
Girls....you are welcome to Brad now............he surely won't have the stamina I need anymore!!!
Brad baby....consider yourself dumped!
Posted by: musicteacher at July 21, 2008 10:40 PM
Glad you are all sooo taken with Brad because that leaves Johnny for me....and me alone:))
Posted by: oohlala1 at July 21, 2008 10:12 PM
Good on you Diamonds, What a refreshing inciteful person and what a fabulous thing you have gained. Your friendship will last and last and who knows sometimes friendship grows. However, friendship is so special and wonderful and lifts you thru the times when things are not so good and then someone to celebrate with when things are good. Lovely post, thank you.
Posted by: iaminperth at July 21, 2008 10:01 PM
oldergent at 9:29 PM: I haven't got the figure for a father - try grandfather-figure.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 21, 2008 9:48 PM
Have to agree with willow29 @4.46 pm
I was dating someone off this site for nearly 2 months where i was "falling" for her,but through many long hours of open heart to heart discussions found out she was not in the same "spot" i was.Got the old lets be friends line,now if chose to ignore this like an immature little boy i would have lost one of the most beautiful platonic friendships i have ever had with a female.So sometimes lets be friends means just that.....
Posted by: diamondsnrust at July 21, 2008 9:42 PM
What you mean you women that he lied when he said he wanted a father figure like timewarp. LOL
Posted by: oldergent at July 21, 2008 9:29 PM
auntykaz @ 8.00 pm. I suppose the next thing you're going to tell me is that when he told me his marriage to Angelina was all a sham; that he couldn't possibly be attracted to another woman since gazing on my beauty and that he wants me to have 10 more of his children, that that was some sort of stretching of the truth... yeah, right :)
Posted by: malsie at July 21, 2008 8:39 PM
Kaz....you are funny!!!!!!
Posted by: musicteacher at July 21, 2008 8:25 PM
Malsie, Musicteacher and quite possibly Marcus, Brad has first dibs down her
I think Virgil that we all have these so called melancholy moments where everything is too hard, too boring, tedious, can't be bothered and life's a complete drag. I hibernate a little in the winter as it's easier than dragging myself out. I tend to think that if this type of dreariness is pretty normal and completely controllable, however, if it were to lapse into weeks, months or years then some help is required to sort out the situation. After all we are only human and as such need other humans.
Posted by: iaminperth at August 4, 2008 7:59 AM