RSVP Blog
Divorce Recovery!
Divorce can be a devastating ordeal, and the recovery can be a difficult to say the least. For some, there is never really a recovery at all. For others, although they appear to be past their divorce, they still carry the pain of the break up and the fear of becoming close with anyone new.
The break up of any relationship can be just as devastating. The pain can be intense even if the relationship did not last a long time and was non-marital. So how do you deal with break ups? How long does it take you to get over that person and start from scratch? Do you find it easy to remain friends with your ex after the break up?
Posted by July 4, 2008 4:07 PM
Latest Comments
Joga: My first riding instructor (I didnt start riding until I was 31) told me that women ride horses as a substitute for sex. He also said he could help me with that....
Helen @ 9.59 I quite agree.
Posted by: willow29 at July 16, 2008 10:38 AM
missrule @ 8.34 - liked your comments - but got me wondrin'... how much of sexual response is learned? I used to think 'porn - yuk' but I reckon a lot of that was conditioned prudery. I don't like the frequent assumption that women's sexuality is passive, only to be activated by the 'right' man, with extensive wooing, cuddling, etc. That ain't me. I suspect what I fear is that the old madonna-whore dichotomy is lurking just below the surface of our minds, and if I don't go "sex... ewww" I'll be branded as a sl** (there are lots of sl** words for it). But there's a big problem playing the madonna role - how does one then switch out of it, into a more reciprocal and honest sexual relationship?
Posted by: playfulhelen at July 16, 2008 9:59 AM
Posted by: missrule at July 16, 2008 8:34 AM
The only reason men like the thought of two women together is the fantasy that we'll be invited to participate. Not me though, too much expert competition.
Troy
Posted by: troyohboy at July 16, 2008 9:57 AM
Hi Grego - I think that is a lovely way for boys and their fathers to have a bit of time together. My ex and his cousin were regulars back in the day at Tom Thumb. And that then led on to a major interest in motor sport and car clubs. Yes, we were involved heavily in one particular car club. Holding committee postions and such. One bonus (for me) anyway was getting to meet Peter Brock. That was pretty special. And such a great bloke. Terrific with kids.
Memories. Was all a major part of my life for a long time, but actually I am glad that is over now. I want a guy there (for me) now. And not every Sunday tied up with bikes or car events.
Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at July 16, 2008 9:30 AM
I prefer cats, for their indepedencejust as I don't like clinging women who can't leave me alone for a few hours,who insist every little thing must be done together.
My only rule is when night fall comes and you aren't home then you must be in some alley way chasing toms., so, missrule, why do women prefer dogs and horses
Posted by: jogalonga at July 16, 2008 9:11 AM
Missrule - I agree. I posted that "couples can share women's toys" but it seemed to have been culled.
Posted by: willow29 at July 16, 2008 9:10 AM
waternymph sounds like he wanted a rubber doll from the start,just for her good looks, great body,easy and cheap maintainance and he could deflate her ego and let her down gently when he had his fun.
Which makes me believe that 3D gaming complete with extras will eventually replace women.
Posted by: jogalonga at July 16, 2008 9:06 AM
a few years back i got a real bad case of laryngitis & a male friend of mine joked that i was now the perfect woman! lol... no voice, no arguments, no complaints.....Posted by: kisskat at July 15, 2008 7:16 PM
I think that's partly why insecure men prefer dogs to cats. You can train a dog to be submissive, obedient and quiet but a cat will metaphorically thumb its nose at any attempt to do likewise.
Posted by: missrule at July 16, 2008 8:55 AM
Posted by: jenniferhi at July 15, 2008 7:06 PM
Jen, yes I ran at Box Hill a few times. Back in the mid 60s there were tracks in almost every suburb. On saturdays we used go from one track to another taking on the locals.
There are only 3 commercial tracks in Melbourne now. The biggest and best is at Dandenong. Williamstown is good and Ged's in Northcote is also very good.
A few single fathers are involved with slot racing now and bring their kids both girls and boys and we have had some monstrous fun. rgds grego
Posted by: grego7 at July 16, 2008 8:38 AM
Woman plus toy = racy, man + toy = sad - why??? Posted by: playfulhelen at July 16, 2008 12:11 AM
Just nipping back in here to clarify - or indeed confuse! Men apparently enjoy watching women in action with sex toys, possibly for the same reasons that they become aroused by watching two lesbians in bed (or the male fantasy of lesbians, which is of course usually about as far from the truth as you can get).
I think that every man I've ever got to know on this level (and I'm 51, there have been a few!) has admitted to getting turned on by both scenarios, leading me to believe that it's a general male predilection. The men on here might want to confirm or deny, but please be honest while you're at it!
"Two lots of breasts, wahey" was the only quasi-coherent explanation I've ever had of the "two girls" fantasy, although sex toys don't generally have mammaries, so I'm still at a loss on that one.
I don't know of any women who are turned on by watching two men having sex, or indeed a solo male playing with a sex toy. Rather the opposite if anything.
Posted by: missrule at July 16, 2008 8:34 AM
Doll talk - do try to see the recent film 'Lars and the Real Girl' (ah - that's right, that's what the brand name is, Real Dolls)... about a shy nebbish who buys one as a companion, and how his family and friends respond. She ('Bianca') ends up more popular than he is :-) before her untimely death. It's a sweet film, but does avoid the Ick factor by specifying that it is a chaste relationship.
TTT @ 2.34 - speaking of the loyalty of such dolls, I believe the 'Ignobel prize' people (a parody of the Nobels, that focuses on genuine but absurd scientific research) recognised the efforts of a scientist who published a paper on 'the transmission of gonorrhea by a blow-up doll'. The hussy!
ERAL @ 2.40 - good point. Woman plus toy = racy, man + toy = sad - why???
Posted by: playfulhelen at July 16, 2008 12:11 AM
waterbombe at 6:34 PM: Hope they leave a feeding tube running through the wall.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 15, 2008 10:29 PM
a few years back i got a real bad case of laryngitis & a male friend of mine joked that i was now the perfect woman! lol. (hes lucky hes a GOOD friend & i didnt smack him but thats not the point)....i also saw that sbs show about the dolls....those guys put in their order for their perfect woman...physically what they desire along with no voice, no arguments, no complaints.....
Posted by: kisskat at July 15, 2008 7:16 PM
Hey Grego - Did you race slot cars at Tom Thumb in Box Hill? Just checking. Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at July 15, 2008 7:06 PM
waterbombe, your question to musicteacher about her caesarean births sounded judgmental. ive had 2 kids, both emergency caesars. im sure im not alone in saying most of us would choose natural birth over major surgery any day.
Posted by: kisskat at July 15, 2008 7:05 PM
Timewarp......I am embarrassed by it myself.
My communication didn't get through to RSVP.
It shall have to stay as it is I am afraid....not buying any more stamps.
I am off till tomorrow night...have to spend some quality time with the kids...I have spent too much time on here lately.
Have fun everybody!!!!
Be nice to each other,especially ERAL!!
Posted by: musicteacher at July 15, 2008 6:59 PM
Oh dear l don't know whether to hold my stomach muscles or tighten my pelvic floor muscles from laughing......
Oh, hang on my pelvic floor is fine..... Must have been the caesarean deliveries...x2.....
both a neccesity unfortunately, however the benefit is everything is intact, if you get my drift......
Now, guys, imagine if all the women were inflatable dolls, you would have no one to talk to except yourselves, and wouldn't that get a bit "himbo" after a while.....
Or is the term "metro".
Have seen a similar show on Foxtel re the inflatable companion, and some of the men who it featured were dead set serious about taking missperfect out in public........bit sad really.........K
Posted by: auntykaz at July 15, 2008 6:59 PM
Waterbombe..........
I tried to be strong,but she wouldn't come out after 36 hours in labour........
No.2 had complication
Decided with 3 and 4 that my body was just not going to let me do it.
I ended up with massive Hernia...and so with surgery....tummy tucked,flat.
Posted by: musicteacher at July 15, 2008 6:47 PM
Thanks Jen. Unfortunately I will be otherwise occupied tonight...will have bf and dvd to distract me this evening, hopefully in that order. And back to work tomorrow after 5 days home with a very bad flu. Mind you I will only have to cough once and they will have me walled up.
Posted by: waterbombe at July 15, 2008 6:34 PM
Well, you know, WB, every doll is an "individual" too :)
Posted by: malsie at July 15, 2008 6:28 PM
...and I also think there was one Australian guy.Posted by: grego7 at July 15, 2008 4:50 PM
AH HAH!!! And I think we all know that gentleman!!!!!.....Drum Roll Please....for the Drum Beater Extraordinaire.....
Posted by: waterbombe at July 15, 2008 6:25 PM
waterbombe at 1:44 PM: No ma'am, the post of the Century was that one of yours!
Let's get multi-variate: Without those dates, I would still have eaten those meals out, but alone. Probably spent $5 each less, when I was only feeding me, and not her ego too.
On my figures thats 150 dates at an extra $5 each, plus the $15 each when I shouted about 20 pensioners, is about $1000. Plus $500 for petrol (alone, I'd eat nearer to base.)
So that's $1500 it cost me for (150 x 2 hours) listening to 150 different, nearly-always interesting and sometimes riveting life stories.
So it's cost me about $3 an hour to be very well entertained, without factoring in about 200 hours of an interested audience of one, to hear me perform my own stock of funny stories that even you lot are getting sick of by now.
Good value I reckon. Next one's Saturday lunchtime beside the Bay at Cleveland.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 15, 2008 6:02 PM
Waterbombe .. you're a hoot .. love your comments! After spending 6 months with a man who didnt want conversation or confrontation .... I'm now wondering if I should have bought him a rubber dolly for his birthday this year .. altho she'd have to be able to cook and clean too and wear sexy underwear and look presentable enough to take out for coffee several times a week!
I have never invested in a BOB but I do however have an electric massager and yes it is really a back massager .. nothing more(Cumbersome thing that looks like ET).
Self help has no interest for me as it does not come wrapped up in a package with companionship, communication and romance!
Posted by: waternymph47 at July 15, 2008 5:59 PM
grego7 at 12:58pm: Sorry mate. I care even more about the entertaining conversation and a bit of banter, so a Cherry 2000 is not on my shopping list. Not even when played by Michelle Pfeiffer, as in the movie.
PS: Get that movie out on DVD. It's a classic and Melanie Griffiths' bust-double's antennae are awesome.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 15, 2008 5:44 PM
musicteacher at 12:47pm: "Timewarp.......I have used up the rest of my stamps and posted 2 more pictures... All recent. All of me....I promise.
MT it was nice to see the new one seated at the grand. Always worth including a top-to-toe. But I still like the slightly-angled head best, and would have it as the main, rather than the one in bed.
That one seems a bit too obvious, and might attract only the players. We more modest males can sometimes be unsettled by what my Ex used to call a "Ravening Lady Beast."
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 15, 2008 5:36 PM
MT. If the choice is rubbber doll or slot cars its a no brainer. Ru.....no slot cars yes definitely slot cars.
I started slot racing when I was 12 which is 45 years ago and I still have those cars. Had a big lay off when I turned 17 and started playing with real live dolls. Then took up racing again about 5 years ago when I gave away full sized motorsport.
And yes it is a Ford GT 40 and you have excellent taste. (in slot cars that is)
rgds grego
Posted by: grego7 at July 15, 2008 5:27 PM
maestrac at 11:49am: "Now do you want all your preferences on the one female or can they be spread around, one with a nice bum another with slim ankles etc.?"
I think this is a cunning trick question, to see if I spread myself around.
I'm into serial monogamy, with as few episodes as possible - preferably only a couple in a lifetime. So I'd like the same woman to have as many as possible of these attributes.
Before the majority of this population (including myself) became so much fatter, flabbier and less fit than previous generations, my wish list was an easy ask. Most women in their 60s (my target range) would have romped home.
But to be realistic today, I'm just looking for the nice nature, weight about 55-70kg, height about 5'-2" to 5'-5" and some fitness, in the hope of extending me in brisk long-distance walking - in 10 or 15 years' time.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 15, 2008 5:25 PM
That is awfully sad Malsie. That guy would have to be loony taking a doll out into the country...even a 10 year old would know that's a weird thing to do. Dolls are city people, everyone knows that.
What's the go with the surgery-pushing, MT? Your tummy stretches right back after births...it isn't the birth that does the skin stretching, it's weight gain. I didn't worry about losing weight until my kids were 3 because I needed the energy but then I lost it just fine. A Ceasar is major surgery...did you really have 4 voluntarily?
Posted by: waterbombe at July 15, 2008 5:14 PM
They have rubber fannies?
Posted by: musicteacher at July 15, 2008 3:25 PM
i know nothing...nothing....
:)
Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at July 15, 2008 5:13 PM
I had 4 Ceasarians...NO WAY was I going to push anything the size of a watermelon out 4 times!
Posted by: musicteacher at July 15, 2008 4:15 PM
See, now thats why girls have the babies, 'coz theres NO WAY a guy would put up with that !
End of the human species !
Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at July 15, 2008 5:09 PM
Waterbombe: In terms of paramedical diagnostics its only 1%!! (ie he has burns to 1% of his body). Sorry fellows.
Posted by: willow29 at July 15, 2008 4:59 PM
maestrac at 11:49 AM: I am frequently castigated here for writing posts that are too long for modern attention spans. So I only sketched in my main likes and dislikes.
Hair is nice, of course, but the hairdressing industry always hopes it will be mainly fake in one way or another. Preferably in many different ways, and preferably, ever-changing.
I remember my beloved in the 70s when wigs were big, coming home with one. That was when she was briefly under the influence of Stefan's sister Mona, who had recently married Joan's cousin. They were all from Mackay.
Half a dozen times a year, Mona used to ask her to model on the weekly Stefan show on TV, and I'd take a late lunch break and watch at her aunt's.
The wig was a surprise. On TV the month before she'd looked heart- pit-a-pat-gorgeous in a long black one, with a fringe that echoed her excellent high cheek bones.
The one she'd bought was exactly her own colour - honey blonde - just about 18cm longer than her own practical short bob. Could have just let her own grow, I thought, if it wasn't going to be usefully different. And saved the money to spend on the kids.
My mother was a real hair freak. Caught rain water in basins on the lawn to wash her long hair, until she moved into a home in her early 80s.
When we were kids and going to a district party, she'd set her 3 sons' hair with women's setting lotion. We stank like a women's hairdressing shop. Poo!
Actually I like long hair on women, but wouldn't be so selfish to suggest it, because shorter is less work, and cooler in this climate.
And I prefer dry hair, because if you stroke oily hair for a while, it gets very greasy very quickly.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 15, 2008 4:57 PM
waterbombe - 3.48pm. Killing myself laughing. Am looking forward to Marcus logging in tonight. lol. Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at July 15, 2008 4:57 PM
Jen, I found the program a bit disturbing really. One has to wonder about the mentality of the guys. They even took their dolls on outings.
MT. Yes my sweet they have fannies but of silicon rather than rubber. What's more the makers offer a renovation service ( now that is scary)
WB. If you factor in fuel etc going to the dates , opportunity cost of losing business etc I reckon TW.s payback period would be 3-4 years. This is well within normal business depreciation curves.
EG I also saw the Japanese guys program but the program I was initially referring to featured American and UK guys and I also think there was one Australian guy.
rgds grego
Posted by: grego7 at July 15, 2008 4:50 PM
egernia, I saw that programme too and thought it quite fascinating. It seemed like the guys were very isolated types, very lonely (is that all stating the obvious?), and I found it interesting that one at least projected a character onto his doll and even thought she smiled when he took her out into the country...I found it all rather sad actually; not in a judgmental way about the guys, but that's what their "connections" had become.
It seemed to me it wasn't just about some sort of sexual gratification, but still a longing for some sort of relationship that just wasn't available in their lives for whatever reason.
Posted by: malsie at July 15, 2008 4:25 PM
Grego.....
you cant have slot cars AND a Rubber doll unless you have plenty of money.
Slot cars..........we have collecting for 7 years.....birthdays,Xmas...and the boys have Grandparents and Godparents have all contributed.
My favourite.....Ford Gt 40(is that what it's called),and the Audi TT!
Posted by: musicteacher at July 15, 2008 4:21 PM
Marcus.....
"A prolapsed tummy would have to be the biggest unfortunate characteristic".
I have got to hand it to you Marcus....only you could say something like that!!!!
Well done!
and thank God for tummy tucks!
Try having your stomach stretched out and in 4 times!
I had 4 Ceasarians...NO WAY was I going to push anything the size of a watermelon out 4 times!
Posted by: musicteacher at July 15, 2008 4:15 PM
Well done on your initiation Egernia. They do a rip roaring trade to American guys on the oil rigs apparently....which is why they charge so much. I lived in the US a few years ago and I saw the ads for these things..they come with all sorts of peudo-live 'extras'...the mind can be a very twisted thing.
No doubt the boys will be logging on shortly to tell us that this is all perfectly normal male sexuality and every man would have one in his wardrobe if it wasn't for our silly romantic feminised notions of sexuality. I await correction.
Posted by: waterbombe at July 15, 2008 4:00 PM
No no, you overestimate me, EARL, I was laughing at them. But you make a thought provoking point. It's interesting isn't it, all women buy (if they buy anything) is one thing, which constitutes about 5% of male anatomy, (well Marcus will know the actual figures, it's probably more like 5.467834% but I'm just guessing ) yet some men specify a whole body in terms of its bits, and order up a song, a la TW earlier today. Women are just so much less demanding. Imagine if we walked in to a sex shop and said Now, I'd like shoulders this wide, and he must have a waist broader than this but narrower than that, and OMG I forgot about his wrists, they need to be this thick, and the ears and nose must be completely hairless and the calves must be really full, but I want the thighs narrower.......here are the measurements I want on all those. If we said all that, men might wonder if we were really relationship material. Hmmmmmm....
Posted by: waterbombe at July 15, 2008 3:48 PM
Yes, I can see a problem for the average bloke who hasn't thought about it, Willow, but TW and Marcus are so 'au fait' with female anatomy I'm sure they have their preferred quarters...I'm sure the voice box wouldn't be included though.
Posted by: waterbombe at July 15, 2008 3:43 PM
The first time I have ever had a comment censored on any blog.
I feel initiated!
Was that SBS program the one that centred on mainly Japanese males ordering these dolls? The one I saw was and one of these blokes had a whole 'family' of them as well as some 'fantasy' dolls
with erotic clothing etc. for 'special' times.
I saw a movie on SBS a while ago, about a man who leaves his wife to start a relationship with a latex doll...he eventually reconciled with his wife.
Posted by: egernia at July 15, 2008 3:40 PM
,,,,you can buy "male bits?"
....and I thought the Tool Shed was an All-Night Hardware store!!!
Posted by: musicteacher at July 15, 2008 3:30 PM
They have rubber fannies?
Posted by: musicteacher at July 15, 2008 3:25 PM
Question is, Waterbombe, which quarter would they get? :)
Posted by: willow29 at July 15, 2008 2:48 PM
Posted by: waterbombe at July 15, 2008 1:44 PM
haha - well seeing as you girls have been buying the male bits (err... "back massager" ) for years now... im sure your laughing with them, not at them WB.
I've never quite understood why it is that a woman with a sex toy is considered to be sexy and racy, but a man with a rubber fanny would just be a loser.
Coming from the paragon of equality that doesn't seem fair.
Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at July 15, 2008 2:40 PM
Could be $16 grand well spent. No need to prime with fine wine.They wont cheat on you.(hopefully) and no complaints when you decide to watch the footy.What more could a man need??
Posted by: tallerthantom at July 15, 2008 2:34 PM
I saw that show too Grego. Pretty amazing wasn't it? Lol. Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at July 15, 2008 1:55 PM
Oh, that is the post of the century, Grego...I fell off my chair laughing. LOL!!!!
I saw the same program but these dolls cost a bit...about $16 grand I think. Let's figure out what 2 years worth of first dates would come to...I believe TW does a couple a week and always dinner, never just a coffee, but of course he only pays for half of them, and being a tad frugal ...or is thrifty the word...he won't go anywhere flash...so perhaps $20 per meal would be a good round figure for himself...that's $40/week for 100 weeks, given 4 weeks off for recovery time. Hmmm...calculator spins out of control....you've already spent 4 grand, TW! Gosh, have the women been worth that? But still ...4 grand would only pay for a quarter of a doll. I wonder if you can order them in quarters, Grego, and assemble them bit by bit. Marcus would be a good help there, being so in touch with female anatomy. Time to get started, boys, all your problems are over, whooppeee!!!!
Posted by: waterbombe at July 15, 2008 1:44 PM
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 15, 2008 1:28 AM
TW, there is a mob in the USA that makes life size dolls to specification. I saw a program on SBS about them.
They are the full enchilada and they dont talk back either.Might be cheaper than all those RSVP dates.
Simply send them a copy of your post of this am, credit card and address and hey presto she will arrive in a nice big carton.
Dont forget to specify hair type. rgds grego
Posted by: grego7 at July 15, 2008 12:58 PM
Amberlight @ 10.55
"Somehow, I think not!"
All things are possible. Most importantly you have to be open and receptive to meeting and connecting to that man. As waterbombe said "...you just never know."
Posted by: egernia at July 15, 2008 12:58 PM
Timewarp.......I have used up the rest of my stamps and posted 2 more pictures...
All recent.all of me....I promise.
Posted by: musicteacher at July 15, 2008 12:47 PM
Yes Amber people can find it on RSVP. Have a friend who found his love here. (After my instigation to him to put his profile on. lol.) They are now living together. Met her at my 50th and it was just like a match made in heaven. They are fantastic together.
Even if you don't meet 'The One' here, you will still meet fantastic guys, so enjoy those moments.
Jen
Posted by: jenniferhi at July 15, 2008 12:38 PM
Wow, so many conversations going on here.
As one who has been divorced for several years and - admittedly - I'm the queen of bad dates, the longer I'm single the more I like being single, and the pickier I become.
I tell my friends that there's a reason why I'm picky, and honestly, it's that it's only until after you're divorced to you realise and understand the sanctity of marriage and how big of a leap it is.
If I'm going to get into another relationship then I'm probably going to have an inkling of an idea that he is 'the one'... but until then, I just take it a day at a time. Besides, part of the fun of being single is the NOT knowing...
Posted by: aussieinindiana at July 15, 2008 11:54 AM
Plenty of people have found it through RSVP, Amber, and why not? It is just an introduction agency. Being on-line doesn't change the quality of people on here. If you are a great woman, and you sound like one, you are on an on-line dating service and there's nothing wrong with you. Why would men be any different?
(Keeping in mind though that RSVP make a player's job much easier so we have to be a bit more street-smart...that's the one disadvantage I see about it).
You'll find someone, just hang in there. I know it's hard to keep your confidence up, but tomorrow might be the day you meet your guy...you just never know.
Posted by: waterbombe at July 15, 2008 11:50 AM
Timewarp1 @ 1.28 am.
You forgot the hair, or can she be bald this
Venus you're looking for. Now do you want all your preferences on the one female or can they be spread around, one with a nice bum another with slim ankles etc.
Posted by: maestrac at July 15, 2008 11:49 AM
I agree with Malsie & Willow, Perth @ 8:30 AM.
Beautifully written, and that's also what I am looking for!
Do you think we'll ever find it through RSVP?
Somehow, I think not!
Posted by: amberlight58 at July 15, 2008 10:55 AM
Perth, that was wonderful.
Ah, TW, speak for yourself re the photos. Was it Grego....correct me if I'm wrong, Grego...who said he preferred to look at profiles without photos first? To get an idea of the person before he was seduced by her looks. I did not have a visible photo either but have been in a great relationship since last year. Not all men are primarily visual and I think its a wise thing to consider who a woman IS, first, and then how she LOOKS, second. If she looks great, that will soon fade if she treats you badly...same for blokes.
Grego you do not live too far from me actually...and Marcus ... I think we must all be neighbours...perhaps it is the cold wind here that sharpens the wit. Is that why you like the heavy eyebrows on a woman, Marcus, to protect the brain? ...a sort of natural selection thing, that only you would notice and affirm...well done, I must say, I would never have seen it.
Posted by: waterbombe at July 15, 2008 10:54 AM
Ladies and gentlemen, if this blog goes much further it will be cold showers for everyone.
WB yes I am in beautiful cold or is that clod Melboune but not near the beach, am jusrt to the west of the CBD.
MT this is the divorce recovery blog not the flirt flog. Your charms are most alluring but telling me about your sons slot cars is down right temptation. I'd better be off to the icy shower immediately.
rgds greg
Posted by: grego7 at July 15, 2008 10:07 AM
beautifully put, iaminperth.
Posted by: malsie at July 15, 2008 9:51 AM
iaminperth at 8:30 AM: I'll have what she's having - once my partner and I get to that stage. But gotta find her first.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 15, 2008 9:47 AM
Perth: I'm with you - spot on.
Posted by: willow29 at July 15, 2008 9:33 AM
musicteacher at 7:06 AM: Men are so visual.
So forget RSVP as a partner-finder if you won't show a photo on your profile up front, or at least a thumbnail without a padlock, to encourage those excessively literate and/or desperate men who've gone to the trouble of reading your headline paragraph without an eyemagnet illustration.
And then gone on and trustingly opened the whole profile, sight unseen.
My father used to say "You don't buy a sow in a sack, sonny."
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 15, 2008 9:01 AM
I like olive skin, a nice prominent mound of venus and lush eyebrows.
A prolapsed tummy would have to be the biggest unfortunate characteristic.
Cheers Marcia
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 15, 2008 8:57 AM
That look that says I know what you are thinking and I feel what you are feeling as well. The gentle touch that says I know you so well and it will be alright. The unspoken communication between two people who say they get the joke but can't laugh out loud...at the moment. Talking with your eyes across the room saying, I'm having a great time but let's get out of here. Sensitivity knowing how you feel without asking a million questions. Good stuff like that, couldn't care about the feet.
Posted by: iaminperth at July 15, 2008 8:30 AM
KAZ-----"nice manly feet"
Don't get care about feet but what they are holding up.
Timewarp-------WOW!!! such attention to detail
Posted by: musicteacher at July 15, 2008 7:06 AM
You lot are all talking only about looking at the opposite gender. I guess that's nice in theory, for a starter, so I'll join in.
I prefer a long neck. Arms are nicer without pendulous auntie-elbows. A back view with the waist noticeably narrower than above and below, and no double chin below each shoulder blade. Rounded bum cheeks that don't continue straight up to well above the waist, and with a fairly wide cleavage between.
A nice taper in the calves, down to ankles that still show signs of recent walking. Yes - I especially like slim ankles and wrists.
From the front, an adequate bust, and no built-in loose skirt of skin, hanging down far enough to provide complete frontal modesty when standing up.
And most of all, a nice sunny nature shining out of the face, because in winter you can't spend all day in the distracting altogether, without over-spending on room heating.
So much for looking. Feeling is very much nicer. I like to feel skin sliding softly past my palms. For a lot of the time. And same-size skin is considerably nicer than loose oversize skin like a hound dog's.
I guess that translate to less than 65 or 70kg on the scales, and an ongoing exercise regimen..
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 15, 2008 1:28 AM
waternymph47 at 1:04 PM: Of course I knew it was a typo. I was just trying to fun.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 15, 2008 12:48 AM
What, OG, the manly feet and the arse ???...... Oh, l think l get it.....saggy arse ????................K
Posted by: auntykaz at July 14, 2008 11:12 PM
Kaz @ 8.33 pm
What if they are only 6 inch apart lol
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at July 14, 2008 10:06 PM
The best thing is to have that special look and feeling from the most unexpected people in the most unexpected places, or that gentle touch from a stranger.
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at July 14, 2008 9:57 PM
Oh this is all getting too exciting for little lonely old me. Like a smorgasboard of culinary delights.
Posted by: tassiedude1 at July 14, 2008 9:48 PM
BM,
Bet you would even like rock stars falling on you from a great height, should you be so lucky.
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at July 14, 2008 9:45 PM
Eyes, skin, hair, arms, thighs....all are nice, but nothing beats a twinkle in the eye and a nice smile and great company...:-)
Cheers,
B.
Posted by: bm1960 at July 14, 2008 9:01 PM
I will be the rude woman and say a nice arse......
Followed by nice feet.....l don't like ugly feet, nice manly feet...........K
Posted by: auntykaz at July 14, 2008 8:33 PM
I wasn't going to comment but you know what. I like all aspects especially that bit, the curvatious bit, just between the breast and the arm pit. Just sends me wild.......:)
Posted by: tassiedude1 at July 14, 2008 7:50 PM
Yep, I think you can't have just half a good leg, MT, you have to have the full caboodle.
How can we turn this discussion round to veiwing men as sex objects, I wonder? What do we like about them? I like a great set of shoulders and a runner's legs...soccer players do it for me.
Posted by: waterbombe at July 14, 2008 7:28 PM
.....and ankles......
my thighs are not nice in any way though....are there "thigh men".
Posted by: musicteacher at July 14, 2008 6:27 PM
Greg....
I have great calves too....(sorry,I just couldn't resist) hahaha
Posted by: musicteacher at July 14, 2008 6:25 PM
Au contraire, Greg, I think the mini puts the leg men in paradise. I know a few leg men... if your cover-up theory is accurate, the leg may have retained its appeal only in chilly Melbourne. Do you live by the beach, yourself? I think you are a Melburnite though....hmmm.
Posted by: waterbombe at July 14, 2008 5:53 PM
WB,
Leg men are pretty rare these days. They were common in the 50s. My old man was one. I think the mini put paid to the leg.
But a flash of curvy calf from a swishing long skirt is still a joy to behold. rgds grego
Posted by: grego7 at July 14, 2008 1:48 PM
Timewarp .. my spelling error should have read .. "Way too intimate for here" .. or perhaps more correctly way too inimate for anyone other than a special someone? Most of my poetry comes to me as I emerge from sleep in the morning and some mornings I was reaching for the empty side of the bed .. which led to some slightly erotic verses .. or perhaps just mere frustration re the empty bed.
I'd like to write a book in due course and include my poems in the story as it all relates to various stages in my life.
Getting started is the hard part but I have been gathering my scribbled bits of poetry to a computer file & CD as well as printing hard copy to assist with puting it all in order. At my current rate of progress it may get published posthumously :-)
Thanks also willow..glad you like it.
Posted by: waternymph47 at July 14, 2008 1:04 PM
Brains, boobs and bums, huh? Well, it doesn't sound too difficult...they all start with B too....making it easy on the blokes. Can we make it a little more complicated without going over the top...what about the leg men? Where do they fit in, so to speak. I think they are a separate group?
Posted by: waterbombe at July 14, 2008 10:26 AM
Waternymph, I too liked your poem. I think a poets' corner is a great idea -we obviously have a lot of talented people on the blogs.
Posted by: willow29 at July 14, 2008 9:26 AM
Posted by: waterbombe at July 13, 2008 5:03 PM
I think we established quite a few blogs ago that a woman's brain was her most attractive organ.
After the brain we have to consider boobs and bums. rgds grego
Posted by: grego7 at July 13, 2008 11:21 PM
jogalonga at 7:24 PM: I'm very glad Greg's back. He's a good egg.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 13, 2008 10:34 PM
grego...........like a phoenix ?????
Couldn't stay away
Posted by: jogalonga at July 13, 2008 7:24 PM
Waternymph at 10.01am 12th: Repeating my question of 11.59pm.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 13, 2008 7:04 PM
Ahhh, Grego, I think you forgot about the men who like brains.
Posted by: waterbombe at July 13, 2008 5:03 PM
waternymph47 at 10:01 AM: "some of my poetry is waaay too intimate for her :-) "
Yes, but was it too intimate for him? (-:
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 12, 2008 11:59 PM
My pleasure TW glad you liked my poem .. plenty more where that came from. I did make the Topic Suggestion that a poet's Corner here might be good. Tho some of my poetry is waaay to intimate for her :-)
Posted by: waternymph47 at July 12, 2008 10:01 AM
waternymph47 at 7:30 PM: Thanks for that beautiful piece. It spoke to me.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 11, 2008 10:03 PM
Joga, If you are attracted to women with obsessive compulsive disorders then marry her, if you are not then dump her.
Posted by: iaminperth at July 11, 2008 8:18 PM
Jogalong .. 8 months is surely long enough for you to know wether you care enough about this person to get them into some kind of Therapy .. if you wish to continue trying to have a relationship with her .. or for you to have moved on to greener pastures.
Lets hope for a happy medium here. By all means practice common sense .. hygiene within reason .. condoms till you get to know one another (even better than you knew one anther when you decided to get intimate in the first place). But lets not make a phobia out of it. I'll admit to the odd one night stand or 3 in the years between puberty and the grand old age of 60 .. but never without a condom! I raised my kids to the awareness that a condom is a great barrier to a lot of long term problems! So far they seem to have remebered it well!
Sadly I find it is the older male .. and often the promiscuous ones who make silly remarks about relating use of condoms to showering with raincoat on. You can guess how successful they were!
Posted by: waternymph47 at July 11, 2008 7:49 PM
("There is never an excuse in my opinion, for either males or females to hurt someone else emotionally, and respond with "indifference", no matter how big a sexual appetitie they may have!"
Posted by: amberlight58 at July 11, 2008 10:43 AM )
Amber you are so right .. could not have said it better!
Posted by: waternymph47 at July 11, 2008 7:36 PM
take my hand and walk with me
along the shores of stormy sea...
These words from 'Sunriselad' remind me of one of my own writings so perhaps you'll indulge me too ..
``````````````````````````````````````````
BEACHED
Can I walk with you on a wind swept beach
And if your hand for mine should reach...
Will it touch me deep inside
Where my deepest feelings hide
If I touch you with a smile
Would you stay with me a while
Begin to understand the me
That no one else can ever see
If I look deep within your eyes
Will I see your passion rise
Will I see within your heart
A place for me where love can start
If our flame of love ignites
Would you hold me through all the nights
Waking in your arms each morning
Softly kissed as day is dawning
Come then to me and take my hand
Let us stroll on wave washed sand
Watch a sunset by the sea
Discover what is meant to be
30/05/00
Posted by: waternymph47 at July 11, 2008 7:30 PM
grego @ 2.03 pm
From my experience, I think your observation is pretty accurate. The men I've known have been either "breast" or "bum" men in their interest (with an occasional liking for all parts fairly equally). Whilst I've been happy that they like any part of my anatomy really, I tend to have a preference for one of those types of men more than the others. On men, I have a particular liking for nice upper arms and hands (and eyes, of course).
Posted by: malsie at July 11, 2008 6:28 PM
(((O)(O))) << I'm an 'eyes- guy' .
Greg007 - Freud would have had a field day with your comment ...
Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at July 11, 2008 6:25 PM
Grego at 2.03pm: Interesting hypothesis.
I had previously considered the male interest in boobs and the female interest in buns, and guessed it may have come from mankind's walkabout days in the dim past, where he strode ahead with his spear, and she followed with dilly bag and baby on arm, and the bigger kids in tow.
She had the buns in prominent undulating view all the time, and when he looked back, there were the boobs, pointing down to the interesting bits. (Bra not invented till about 1930 in France.)
Without the age pension, the aborigines used arranged marriages for the same purpose. Middle-aged widowers were assigned teenage brides, who later as 20-somethings would become their carers, with few kids to distract them.
30-or-40-something widows were then assigned teenage hunks as their second husbands. With both at peak libido, they had plenty of kids, and the ability to feed them plenty of meat and veg.
When she died, and I suspect cervical cancer pretty often, he got a younger wife, and the cycle repeated.
But what about Greg's mature-age man's greater interest in ladies buns and thereabouts? Could that be the usual view for the old bloke wheezing along behind his young wife, trying to keep up?
I see the moral of this story/hypothesis as being that it is natural for mature-age ladies to prefer young hunks as well as the traditional thing, and for old blokes to fantasise about keeping up with younger chicks.
Which doesn't make them dirty old men - just a bit out of touch with reality, in those countries where pairing off is NOT still arranged by matchmakers.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 11, 2008 5:39 PM
grego7 July 11, 2008 2:03 PM
There was the woman who was complaining about her boobs being too small to her boyfriend. He said "try rubbing 'em with toilet paper, it worked on your butt".
Grego, we are one and the same except my taste is a bit more elevated.
The well supported theory goes that our ancestors like other primates sexually signalled with their behinds (if you have seen an on heat mandrils behind there is no mistaking this) As we became bipedal that function became shared by the breasts so that it could be seen from both directions.
Human females are the only ones with properly rounded breasts. Breasts are about 70% fat and the milk producing glands (which are secreting a modified sweat) are often not in proportion to the part that gets the blokes attention.
Cheers Marcus.
Phoboscincus Bocourti? Hmm sounds fearsome. I believe they tame easily.
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 11, 2008 5:21 PM
Hi Grego
You are right.Some men are not into boobs.
Fortunately for me,I have great boobs and a great arse!
You know it's Friday afternoon.
I am also completely honest with who I am and what i have....and it is such a waste for a woman like myself to be on this site.
I hope you all have a sense of humour and won't throw stones at me.
God has been kind to me in this lifetime,but my enotional state is anoyher matter.
Cheers,R
Posted by: musicteacher at July 11, 2008 4:04 PM
Ha, Greg, that is a very interesting theory of yours...l wonder what our friend Marcus thinks of it ???. Come to think of it, l wonder what other men think of it too .
And what about the ladies, do you think that Greg's theory has merit??.............K
Posted by: auntykaz at July 11, 2008 4:00 PM
oohlala1 at 12:49 PM: Welcome back, missus. Whats'a cooking today?
Interesting to see that you're happy for young men to be sleeping around, but not older men. That's a bit ageist, eh!
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 11, 2008 3:17 PM
Jogalonga, OOOH sooo sorry! I only just realised which kiss was yours. Honestly - first a kiss drought and then yours slipped in accompanied. Thank you :)
Posted by: willow29 at July 11, 2008 2:17 PM
Divorce recovery - indulge yourself.
After my ex left, I was given some birthday money and strict instructions to spend it on myself. So I bought some lovely lingerie. It was nice for a short while but not really comfortable for every day wear. Most of it is still in the packaging, but at least I know they're there waiting for a special occasion.
Posted by: willow29 at July 11, 2008 2:10 PM
There has been some recent discussion of boobs and their effect on men.
I would put the proposition to this knowledgeable gathering that men fall into two main camps when it comes to the female figure.
The boobs men and the bum men.
Marcus is obviously in the first camp and I have to confess I am firmly in the latter.
Interestingly, my observattion is that most women think their boobs are too small and their bum is too big. My careful studies suggest this is not the case.
I would also put to you that male interest in boobs declines with age whereas the reverse is true of male interest in bums. This is probably reflective of the time distance since a male was suckled by his mother.
Should my hypotheses be correct it has significant implications for ladies on RSVP and the photos they use in their profiles.
rgds grego
Posted by: grego7 at July 11, 2008 2:03 PM
Jogalonga seems I hear this story before. If it is the same lady, you have been seeing her for a longa time now and should have sorted all this stuff out. If you haven't had sex yet, you are not likely to. Women don't wait eight months to decide even if they have germ problems/phobias.
If I found out the guy I decided to finally sleep with was sharing it around that would be the end of him. Older men sleeping around is not a good look and indicates not such a good character either.
Posted by: oohlala1 at July 11, 2008 12:49 PM
Energizer. I like that. Clever.
laughsandtalks/Marcus I once called an RSVP fella a Phobosincus Bocourti and he returned by calling me an Egernia Major. The name has stuck.
No real interest in lizards, but a long ago nickname ...
Posted by: egernia at July 11, 2008 12:19 PM
Jogalonga - Sounds like she has an obsessive compulsive disorder. She may or may not want to seek therapy.
If a man had a series of girlfriends on tap, I doubt that he's looking for a relationship and most people on this site - well on the blogs -are presumably looking for a relationship.
Anyone who didnt use a condom in a new relationship is nuts. As a former biologist, the thought of stds is more frightening that worrying if your potential is an axe-murderer (mainly because the odds are a lot higher).
The transition from wearing a condom to not.. now that's the hard part (no pun intended).
Posted by: willow29 at July 11, 2008 12:08 PM
Amber - thank you :) And I agree that some people are very vulnerable and that consumating a 'friendship" puts a whole different light on it. The consequences of rejection are much greater.
Posted by: willow29 at July 11, 2008 11:43 AM
This is a really serious question I am asking the bloggers, I may have asked it before, but I think it is quite relevant to the topic.
I have known this woman for months, she has a phoebia with germs, can't touch her, hold her,kiss her, you would need to give her 6 months notice if she decreed to have sex with you and she would supply the condoms and the anti biotics and send you to a clinic for a blood test to see if you may have prostate cancer.
You walk into her home, she rushes you to the bathroom to detox your hands because it has been touching the steering wheel of your car,
her main topic of conversation is health and health issues and all the things you can catch.
Do the bloggers here think that this is obsessive behaviour and would interfere with any future marriage plans, and do you think asking your husband to use a condom for life is a bit over the top and would lead to divorce ?
On the same note i have to ask , are there any blogggers who would knowingly have a sexual relationship with a man after he has confessed to having a number of girlfriends on tap.
Would you ditch him,
Ask him to wear a condom, or marry him ,and then ditch him ?,
You might think this is all a bit bizarre as i do but it is a true story.by the ahem 'lady' with the cleanliness problem.
what do you think ?
Posted by: jogalonga at July 11, 2008 11:35 AM
energizer, Yes I have been in a relationship with myself now for about 6 years, I am grand company, I love to watch DVD's eating chocolate and drinking red wine.
When I get sick of this I flick through RSVP looking for a permanent relationship with anybody renotely interested in sharing my body with me.
Posted by: jogalonga at July 11, 2008 11:17 AM
Jogalonga,
Wow, I am impressed! You are SO accurate! Will never doubt you again, okay?
Sunriselad,
A lovely piece. You said you wrote it for a dear friend. So beautiful, yet sad. Were you secretly in love with her?
Egernia,
Thanks.
Willow29, TW is right! You look fantastic!
Marcus,
I think I am a lost cause!
I'm not "against" male sexuality, it's the fact that some of you guys use it as an excuse to behave "indifferently" and callously to the emotional pain your sexual needs may inflict on some one else.
Sure if "Ms.3rd Date" was aware of the situation, and saw things the way you do, fine, but there are a lot of vulnerable people for whom having sex is seen as a precursor to a relationship.
As long as both people are "on the same page" it is fine.
There is never an excuse in my opinion, for either males or females to hurt someone else emotionally, and respond with "indifference", no matter how big a sexual appetitie they may have!
Posted by: amberlight58 at July 11, 2008 10:43 AM
sunriselad at July 10, 2008 5:07 PM: Loved your poem, and also the aab ccb rhyme plan, which I'd never seen before. Much more subtle than just a string of couplets.
Excellent work. Sorry I can't offer to publish it in our new-poetry monthly The Mozzie - Our A5 page size limits us to about 30 liners.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 11, 2008 10:42 AM
Egernia.
Interesting profile name- you have an interest in lizards?
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 11, 2008 10:39 AM
Marcus at 11.04pm: Don't remember hers, or mine for the 100 yards. 11 point something from memory. Well inside 12.
Do remember that in year 7 she was in her big school's 4 x 100mtr relay team in the North Brisbane Zone Final, that they weren't placed out of about 10 teams, and that I took time off work to go and watch.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 11, 2008 10:33 AM
jogalonga @ 6.19pm yesterday
Hi there (wry smile).
Please, my handle is EGERNIA not ERGENIA.
I much prefer to lay in the arms of my fiance of an evening, if that's your question..
Did I read previously that you are in a relationship yourself or was that a relationship with yourself? Hmm.
Thank you to those who have welcomed me.
Amberlight58 you are a grand dame and my only advice is..nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Posted by: egernia at July 11, 2008 9:38 AM
Sunriselad: That is a beautiful poem and I for one, appreciate you sharing it with us.
Timewarp: Thank you - you are a sweetheart :)
Posted by: willow29 at July 11, 2008 9:12 AM
Marcus, you know, sometimes the boobs get a bit heavy, particularly when a woman is premenstrual, a well fitting bra helps alleviate the discomfort that a woman may feel.......
Some women have naturally heavy boobs also.
.And if the bra is a nice one and feels good well thats fine.. They do have to be worn during waking hours for most of us, so very important that it is a good one.
.
I don't think too many men go around wearing their grandad's bog catchers these days,....More your aussiebums or that old faithful, the jockey short...............K
Posted by: auntykaz at July 11, 2008 9:03 AM
amberlight, it's not a joke.
I wanted OHMSS 008 on my number plates but the poms would not allow it and offered me
ASS 008 but I thought that would be too obvious so I went with
EGN 008 go figure that one ???
and please just don't take this any further otherwise I will have to Google Earth you.
Hmmm.............is yours the one with the sign out the front that says I LOVE RSVP ?
Posted by: jogalonga at July 10, 2008 11:16 PM
ambergripe58 at July 10, 2008 9:52
Wildamberhoney. I have decided to try to sex you up a bit babe. All this worthy motherhood stuff and you behaving like a heat seeking missile when you discover a compassion gap or an admission of male sexuality is not helping your chances.You cannot feel everyones hurt or rectify everything you see as a slight or injustice. Have you sent that affirmative action email yet?
Perhaps I should have sued that bird for misrepresentation and included the bra designer in the suit. Unlike all othe primates human breasts do not disappear after lactation and women well past their reproductive prime still arrange themselves to give the impression of the firm breast of young adulthood- so in this sense the breast is being used very strongly for sexual signalling. It is hard for a woman to argue that having contrived this high, rounded, plump ideal she is not putting it to work knowing how powerfully the signals are transmitted.
There will be plenty of elegible blokes out there in a candid moment will admit to allowing a woman to seduce them purely because they wanted to get their hands on the boobs.
I'm sure my 3 dater mainly wanted her sexual needs fulfilled by someone she felt comfortable with-as many women do-any mating did not have to be a precursor to a long relationship. As it was I didn't find her sexually very satisfactory; our senses of rythym were completely different.
Timewarp1 at July 10, 2008 2:48 PM
Warped, err thanks for you offerings on your daughters 'magnificent pair; so what was her best time over 100 metres?
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 10, 2008 11:04 PM
Sorry Egernia,
Just checked out your profile! You DID meet your fiance on RSVP! A success story!
How? (Some advice for the rest of us, please!)
Posted by: amberlight58 at July 10, 2008 6:54 PM
Marcus @ 4:03 PM
Have you ever written any? Just curious!
Egernia, so glad you have found happiness again after such heartache. An ex-RSVPer? Did you meet him on RSVP?
Jogalonga,
Wow, our country's security at stake!
That's one hell of an excuse for keeping your profile hidden!
Posted by: amberlight58 at July 10, 2008 6:48 PM
willow29 at 4:48 PM: (Old love letters) "remind us of when we were young and beautiful and sexy and irresistable."
Sorry to disappoint you, gal, but you still are. Just believe it, and get on with acting accordingly.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 10, 2008 6:20 PM
ummm errr ergenia , yeh right, I was just laying back here in the arms of my non RSVP boyfriend when i thought.
Hey! I should blog !!!
Wow!! why did I not think of this before ???
Excuse me non RSVP lover, I just need to go to the computer and RSVP blog .....okay?
Sure says non RSVP lover "blog away"
I was just thinking of doing the same thing myself,considering you are so boring and i really would know what is really going on with you, so lets blog together ???
Errr no nonRSVP lover I need to blog alone, with the door closed and my security system set to high so you can't see where my tracks lead "
"OK , sounds fair to me, just wake me when you are done.........oh.........and by the way, if we aren't doing anything tomorrow night do you mind if I blog with your sister ???"
Posted by: jogalonga at July 10, 2008 6:19 PM
Willow and Marcus,
I agree with you re love letters. As the years pass they become even more valuable and provide sweet nostagia.
After a major heartbreak in my early 20s my old man wrote to me and told me of the importance of storing good memories. I did not think much of the advice then but now realise what great advice it was. rgds grego
Posted by: grego7 at July 10, 2008 5:31 PM
Marcus, yes, I too have kept many old love letters, and old diaries too. I tend to read them all every time I move house and come across them again - which is fairly frequent actually. There's nothing there from the past that haunts me, though, and I guess I'm fortunate in that regard.
Posted by: malsie at July 10, 2008 5:18 PM
Kaz, yes, I agree! Wasn't it lovely?
Well its goodnight from me - have a fun night all. I will read the night's blogs avidly in the morning. xx
Posted by: willow29 at July 10, 2008 5:08 PM
This was written a few years ago, for someone that I never even held hands with, but whose friendship meant a great deal to me. Since then, I have shared it with a few special people, for different reasons. But it always brings back wonderful memories, and helps to create new ones. I hope you enjoy it.
--------------------------------------------
stars
come and watch the stars with me
and contemplate eternity
- our momentary lives entwined
the celestial sphere slowly turning
us out-reaching, wanting, yearning
- not knowing what we need to find
the patient heavens watch and wait
I wonder if they know our fate
- our lives perturbed by uncertain wonder
the stars instil a tranquillity
which belies their instability
- are we better safe or torn asunder?
………………………………
take my hand and walk with me
along the shores of stormy sea
- comfort comes from thoughts unspoken
restless waves and endless swells
fractured beauty of shattered shells
- the fragments of our lives unbroken
shadowed trough and foaming crest
you and I our thoughts at rest
- contrasts shown in sharp relief
glowing motes on shining sand
gentle warmth of gentle hand
- my strength grows with your belief
come and sit with me a while
our shoulders touch with gentle smile
- simple things our greatest treasure
tranquillity and tenderness
neither needing more nor wanting less
- our greatest joy is simple pleasure
our hearts at rest, our minds at ease
no demands, no one to please
- the night grows old much too fast
we sit and wait for dawn of day
and wish this moment here to stay
- knowing that it will not last
………………………………………
turn and look into my eyes
time to say our sweet goodbyes
- know these moments last forever
memories as we grow old
brilliant silver spun with gold
- is this time we spend together
no voice can speak these words we hear
no eyes can see with sight so clear
- you touch my cheek with your fingers
the dawn will soon replace the night
you walk away into the light
- the feeling of your touch still lingers
Posted by: sunriselad at July 10, 2008 5:07 PM
Tassiedude, l think a job at Mills and Boon awaits you.....
That or resident romance writer at one of the mags.....Maybe the weekly......
Or maybe even one of the blokey mags, maybe Ralph or FHM...................K
Posted by: auntykaz at July 10, 2008 4:53 PM
Egernia, Sorry to hear about your husband, but Im glad that your circumstances have improved. Welcome and it was great of you to put your profile up so those of us who are stickybeaks can peak :)
Jogalonga - I solemnly promise. Girl Guides honour.
Marcus; aren't they lovely to have? I wouldnt throw mine away. They remind us of when we were young and beautiful and sexy and irresistable (to someone anyway!).
Posted by: willow29 at July 10, 2008 4:48 PM
Tassie.... that was a lovely reminiscence...thank you for sharing it.
Sunriselad, go ahead and post it :)
Jogalong; Thank you for your concern and advice :) Separated/divorced - it doesnt matter. It means the end. And Im not really sad to see him go. And I have got over it, really. Just like Tassie, I was reminiscing over what once was... A bit self indulgent of me. Maybe I should watch Cliff Hanger too.
ps most of those letters were from before we were married. Since we were married the letters became "Please buy and send more fishing lures"....hehe
Posted by: willow29 at July 10, 2008 4:27 PM
sunriselad at 3:51 PM: Yes please. And I agree with you. Nothing ever made me a better person except great pain. By comparison, at 18 I was very much sure of myself, self-centred and unempathic. Maybe more than most. I'm not proud now of what I remember being then.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 10, 2008 4:25 PM
malsie at July 10, 2008 2:12 PM
I have a few love letters.
I keep them in the single draw of the old cedar desk my Nanna, who wrote to support her family, used.
These days love letters and notes and statements of affection or rejection are more likely to come as emails. They get printed out and regardless of the content, do aquire poignancy over time.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 10, 2008 4:03 PM
Willow I will send you a kiss to make you feel better saying what a nice photo you have.
You are not to mention anything about me on the blogs or anywhere.that you must promise.
My job is highly confidential, and if exposed the future safety of our country will be at stake, so first you have to make that promise.
Posted by: jogalonga at July 10, 2008 4:01 PM
Greetings everyone. I am new to this blog so will jump in with both feet; hands actually.
Tassiedude your recount of your mother's experience touched a chord with me. I was/am in a similar situation. My husband died 6 years ago also. I am now engaged to an ex-RSVPer. I also used to think about the hope-less situation I found myself in. I was and still am, grateful for every morning that I awake to.
Posted by: egernia at July 10, 2008 3:56 PM
That's pretty silly willow,you are seperated and not divorced that is your problem you have to resolve.
Would you like me to actually come down hold your hand and file the papers for you ???
You just need someone to give you a kick along not a jogalong.
I am widowed, from a much younger woman than you, I have thousands of photos of her , I know one day there will be a knock on the door from her grown up daughters looking for this stuff and some background on their mum.
They are in their own folder so i don't have to look at them.
the first thing i did was to start dumping her stuff, it took 12 months to start but it was like eating an elephant..................small junks at a time.
Burn the letters, burn your certificate, throw your weddings rings in the harbour and move on otherwise you must like torturing yourself.
The biggest mistake a seperated woman makes is coming on here in the first place.
You need time out if it has been less than 12 months.
Time out to be comfortable in the knowledge that you will survive.
The trouble is, if he left you for another woman , then you are going to sit there always in the back of your mind that she will leave him and he will come running back to you like a mangy dog with his tail between his legs.
You know ?
It will be the same thing all over again, you will realise this after awhile and then regret even thinking about it.
being the perv that I am i took the liberty of looking at your photo.
My advice is to get over it and move on.
They always say never put it in writing, shame about that, the other thing I know about husbands is if they continually write you poems and send you flowers all the time , you know, that it is out of guilt and not love.
Posted by: jogalonga at July 10, 2008 3:54 PM
Tears are good. Pain is good. They are a reminder not only of things lost but also of things that once were. Nothing can take them away. None of the pain and sadness of now can change the way we felt then.
I don't wish for a future without tears, because that would be a future without memories. The relationships that have been the source of my greatest pain in the past are also the source of my sweetest memories in the present.
Would it be appropriate to post a poem written about one such circumstance?
Posted by: sunriselad at July 10, 2008 3:51 PM
junebaby57 at 7:30 AM: Good to see you cheerier than you were on Monday morning.
kurli at 8:18 AM: Not one more word! Not even a little tiny short one. Promise!
amber at 9.52am: "women do realise that breasts attract, (strangely a lot of men have a real problem with the real reason for their existence; to feed our young!) one only has to look at all the men's magazines."
Sorry I have to disagree. The nipples and mammary glands are certainly for mammalarian purposes, but I'm with Marcus and the buyers of all those stick-books - the mounds of meat that surround them are only useful as visual signals to visual hunter/selectors.
And damned inconvenient in between. My less-slim daughter followed me as a fast sprinter at primary school, but then sprouted a magnificent pair. Said that even in a proper sports bra, she now had to run in time with them. And they were built for comfort, not speed. End of a promising career in track and field.
I'm guessing the attraction started back in the days when the breasts only swelled up temporarily during pregnancy and lactation, thus also signalling that the female was fecund.
If blokes who reacted to that signal finished up with more kids than the rest, evolution would build it in after a while, and make the bra industry profitable.
musicteacher at 8:33 AM: I'm strongly in favour of bras of all kinds.
Just because they help to make the world a more beautiful place for men, and a more challenging place for women. (The modern woman appreciates a challenge.)
And if if a well-engineered bra leads to disappointment for individual Marcuses, around 3 dates down the Primrose Path, so what?
Once you've got that far, mate, they're only way stations on the path, and all sizes fit one purpose. Just shut your eyes if you're too pernickety.
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 10, 2008 2:48 PM
Yay I have the day off. Just had the biggest sleep in. It's cold outside and snuggling up in the doona was just too precious to give it up. I was thinking about going and chasing a little white ball around the paddock but zig zagging up and down the fairway on a coldish afternoon. Well I just cant see that happening today. I could just laze on the couch, smoke a big fat joint and sip on a soft bodied red. Reminisce about the time my wife and I got together.
The time I house sat for a friend in Brunswick. He had a bath outside on the back porch. You know one of those old ones on steel casters. We would fill it with hot water, light a small fire underneath and waste away the afternoon, with a bottle of wine, gaze adoringly into one another's eyes and just chat about whatever sprang to mind.
There was a little Indian restaurant just around the corner. We would walk together, not being able to be separated just for one moment, order our favorite dishes. I used to like chicken sagwala (funnily enough chicken in a spinach sauce) she would order a curry, some dahl and a garlic nann.
After dinner, and more wine, we would pull the bedding out in front of the open wood fire and just hold each other vowing never to let go. Making love was never enough as we just couldn't get close enough. I felt I wanted to melt into her body and become as one.
And then the mornings. I can still smell the freshly ground coffee brewing on the stove. The buttery smell of croissants as they heated in the oven.
Oh those were the days.
Then again I do have a dvd of Cliff hanger. Nothing like a bit of Stallone to kick you in the face and bring you back to reality.
Posted by: tassiedude1 at July 10, 2008 2:40 PM
willow29, bartering when you live in country areas is great. When I lived in a small village in WA, I went to pick up a video once and the owner of the store (who I knew only from going there) had a headache and sore shoulders. So I offered to work on that a bit, which she happily accepted and then let me take the video for nothing. It's little things like that that remind me how much I prefer small villages to big towns to live in.
And yes, new love letters are in order (or just don't read the old ones perhaps) :)
Posted by: malsie at July 10, 2008 2:12 PM
Back on topic, I went through my fire box last night (its a chest that all my important documents, certificates, negatives etc are in and its placed near a window/door for a quick getaway). At the bottom were little bundles of love letters tied up in ribbon. I knew it was a mistake to read them but I put a rug in front of the fire and opened each bundle.
Sometimes when you think you're completely over the pain, something like that has you in tears all over again. I think I need new love letters.
Posted by: willow29 at July 10, 2008 1:21 PM
That sounds great Malsie! I did an hour of fixing someone's computer and he serviced my chainsaw. When he brought it back, a colleague of mine who had brought his family for horse rides picked it up and cut some firewood for me. We all have something to give :) Gotta love it.
Posted by: willow29 at July 10, 2008 1:12 PM
Maisie: re massage
Therapeutic kind???
I will go to a Naturapath for that!
Posted by: musicteacher at July 10, 2008 12:56 PM
ERAL, of the therapeutic kind, naturally...
Posted by: malsie at July 10, 2008 11:50 AM
...massage IOU perhaps??
Posted by: malsie at July 10, 2008 10:41 AM
BOOM-CHICKA -WWAH WAHH !
Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at July 10, 2008 11:08 AM
willow29, I love the sound of your spontaneous produce exchange with neighbours.... wish you were bordering my property! (although I wouldn't have anything to give in exchange - massage IOU perhaps??)
Posted by: malsie at July 10, 2008 10:41 AM
Jogalonga, I would like to be able to tell you that you are not just a mere servant of Lancelot but a true and glorious Knight in shining armour in your own right. Perhaps you are but we cant see for the armour .. and with out a profile/Photo will just have to take your word for your many wonderful attributes!
Posted by: waternymph47 at July 10, 2008 10:33 AM
"She cunningly and effectively used male developed technology in the form of a gel type 'padded' bra to leap from small B to CC on a size 12. I was most disappointed when I got to grips with this (3rd date). In hindsight her hair was colored and coiffed, she wore tinted contacts, had had her teeth done was artificially scented, wore high heels and had false nails so I shouldn't have been too suprised.
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 10, 2008 1:38 AM "
Marcus, had she not gone to all this trouble you would not have looked twice at her and no doubt grumbled about women who don't make an effort to look their best!
I'm so tired of blokes protesting that they hate to see a woman caked in makeup and over done or dressed to kill yet 9 times out of 10 this is what they are drawn to!
True equality between genders comes when a woman can be as careless about her appearance as most men are and still believe she is attractive!
BTW .. my photo is Au Naturale .. I seldom wear makeup but still try to look my best without artifice tho Ive also been known to add a subtle layer of makeup and some mascara to highlight my eyes on occasion!
Posted by: waternymph47 at July 10, 2008 10:23 AM
Well said "All this talk about weight gives me the heebies, apart from seriously obese or very thin, I couldn't care so long as the person is really nice, have a great sense of humour and can smile and laugh at himself. I am not looking for an appendage, I am looking for a companion in life.
Posted by: iaminperth at July 9, 2008 9:28 PM "
BTW Aside from various great waterside eateries at Mandurah I rather liked Betty Blue at Rocky :-)
Posted by: waternymph47 at July 10, 2008 9:59 AM
Tassiedude @ 11:03 PM yesterday
That's a really lovely story, I hope your Mum continues to be happy. Sounds like she had also been blessed with a great relationship with your Dad as well.
Such stories do give us heart. I also know of older people who have found happiness again. Without resorting to RSVP!
I find it hard with working and my youngest(plus a new mortgage) to "get out and about" however, I know from experience that it won't be too much longer and my son won't be wanting to spend so much time with his mum. But I am enjoying it (and treasuring it) while it lasts!
Kurli @ 8:18 AM today. Great description! Exactly. I feel rather like an old leg of mutton amongst all the sweet young lamb chops!
Gosh Marcus, @ 1:38 AM today, you are quite an expert! Pity that your date didn't save you the wasted time and effort and just let you discover the error of your ways sooner! Did she have a personality as well? Was she a fun and happy person?
Or after the discovery of her "cunning" ways, were you too "disappointed" to hang around?
Precisely Marcus, women do realise that breasts attract, (strangely a lot of men have a real problem with the real reason for their existence; to feed our young!) one only has to look at all the men's magazines.
It sounds like your "finally on the 3rd date" lady's mammaries might have well attracted a bloke like you, but did she actually want to find someone who might actually be capable of really loving her?
If so, it sounds like it wasn't HER lucky 3rd date!
Saw a profile the other day where a bloke had actually put in his ideal partner "blurb" that he doesn't mind silicone!
Must be such a relief for those who bother with such surgical enhancements to know that he is so "accepting"!
Posted by: amberlight58 at July 10, 2008 9:52 AM
Yum Perth! I have been growing my own recently - I've got beans, pumpkins, bok choy, rainbow beet, leeks and herbs.
The BEST thing is that I have 5 other properties bordering mine and occasionally I walk around with a bag of goodies and hang them on the fence (their side so the horses dont get them) and often when I return, they are full of other people's surplus. Last week I got eggs, capsicum, pears, lemons and apples.
None of this was planned or discussed, it just happened. I love the country.
Kurli: you forgot smoked banana skins - a favourite with the Cambridge set - not that I'd know, of course.
Posted by: willow29 at July 10, 2008 9:22 AM
I have dropped a few kilos with the best eating plan so far. You simply eat everything fresh, nothing processed and nothing out of cans. Limit meat intake a little but not hugely and it's so easy shopping and preparing. Can have multi/wholegrain bread. Easy shopping and a bit yum.
Posted by: iaminperth at July 10, 2008 9:01 AM
Marcus: re inflated breasts...
that is what I am talking about!Why bother with a "push-up" or padded bra?
...and I thought breast were to feed babies,and sometimes a jealous daddy.
Posted by: musicteacher at July 10, 2008 8:33 AM
TW @12.38am
Re jalapenos..remember that loose lips sink more than ships (ie "dates")
amberlight@11.50pm &leebee@ 10.38pm: I know how you feel........like a meat tray in Woolies :-(
Is it that we are too conditioned to" packaging suitable to market place" that people dont try indepth reading of the promo? Really turns internet dating into a lucky dip doesnt it.
Hopefully we will find (be found by?)someone who meets our expectations,as much as we meet theirs..........SOONER rather than later.
Ciao
Posted by: kurli at July 10, 2008 8:18 AM
eatsrootsandleaves aJuly 10, 2008 12:05 AM
A good soup can be made out of the Gold top mushies that are out and about in certain areas now. The're the ones that turn blue when picked I have no idea of their nutritional properties
A good brew can be made from the leaves and flowers of trumpet lillies- daytura too. Not recomended for the family teapot though.
Hmm.
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 10, 2008 7:46 AM
iaminperth at July 9, 2008 9:28 PM, exactly, that is what I am here for, not too fat not too thin...but happy with themselves, have a sense of humour, and they want to be with me, and it helps if they think I am gorgeous!!!!!!
ERAL - I am with you on the brussell sprouts, have never had them in my house...I still remeber the awful smells in the kitchen as a child when all veges were boiled...and being forced to eat brussell sprouts, cabbage, spinach, Broccoli, cauliflower......even when they were cold 2 hours later at the dinner table, where I would be on my own as punishment...as I didn't like them then, and I still don't now. I still dry retch when these vegetables end up on my plate, I always ask for those veges to be deleted of anything I order at a restaurant!!!!
I have not forced my kids to eat anything, and surprisingly, they eat everything...no forcing like what happened to me as a child. How on earth did we get onto veges in a dating blog!!!
Have a lovely day all...jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at July 10, 2008 7:30 AM
Spoke to mum on the phone tonight and she reminded me of a nutritious dish involving Brussels sprouts. Some of the cheaper cuts from the butcher, a cup of rice and a cup of mixed pulses with water boiled slowly for a while. Toss a few brussels and a handfull of chopped carrot and whatever else is handy and cook a few more minutes. Voila 'dog stew'. My sisters Staffy absolutely loved it.
-------------------------------------------------------------
I once impressed myself by correctly picking the enhanced from natural boobs from a selection of 10 (in pictures). I was also able to correctly 'size' another lot.
Given that the primary purpose of female breasts are for male attracting sexual signalling I feel that there should be significant attention given to their advantageous display in profile pictures.
Women who understand this appear to be more succesful and those who are at ease with their boobs come across to men more positively.
I dated a girl from here last year who was well aware of this but felt she needed a cup size boost. She cunningly and effectively used male developed technology in the form of a gel type 'padded' bra to leap from small B to CC on a size 12. I was most disappointed when I got to grips with this (3rd date). In hindsight her hair was colored and coiffed, she wore tinted contacts, had had her teeth done was artificially scented, wore high heels and had false nails so I shouldn't have been too suprised.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 10, 2008 1:38 AM
waternymph47 at 11:45 PM Tues: I was rubbishing you for your extra oooos in J's name.
malsie at 11:22 AM: What brings out the best look in my face is 85% dark chocolate plus naked ginger ie. rolled in icing sugar, not castor sugar. (55 years ago, it only brought out zits.)
troyohboy at 11:26 AM: I used to like 'celery salt' on mashed potato. Mixture of the strongly-flavoured tiny celery seeds and ordinary salt.
willow29 at 12:10 PM; Yes, I think it's just drowning your post-breakup sorrows in fat and sugar. More calories than beer.
jogalonga at 12:32 PM: I was brought up by Depression-impressed parents and the slogan "Wicked Waste brings Woeful Want."
In winter I'm heating a plate maybe 5 times a day. Quicker to grab the bit of paper towel off the dish drainer again and pass it under the tap, and then drop it back on the drainer afterwards, than tear more off the roll each
Posted by: willow29 at July 16, 2008 10:38 AM
Willow - i bet he did !
They say that riding is the best form exercise for a woman. For her posture, (is there anything more beautiful then dressage), and the strengthening of her thighs and hips (not to mention the pelvic floor !).
Plus, your SERIOUSLY HOT !
( woof whistle )
Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at July 16, 2008 11:51 AM