RSVP Blog

Timewarp - 1.09am "The better the person you want, the better you better be yourself. Because we only deserve our match."

That is exactly right! Like the way you said that. I wrote a bit more sort of in that vein on the other topic.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at June 17, 2008 8:38 AM

"horsi@6.39am:
Hmmmmmmm. Looks like I went to bed(with a good book and two cats) too early last night!
Not saying much more except to reiterate that by nature I'm extremely facetious,generally at the wrong time.....With me: what you see is what you get:
An elderly woman who speaks her own mind;a widow;a mother , a grandmother.....oh & did I mention a servant to 2 geriatric cats!At least whilst the mob mentality is niggling at me ,some soul less able to defend herself is left in peace.

DO have a good day all........I KNOW that I shall ;-)

kurli

TO junebaby57@11.36pm

I am so glad for you that your baby is home SAFELY.I was lucky enough that my two were out of the ADF before Oz involvement started.Maybe I'll see you in the crowds.. Give your boy a hug from me..... as thanks for a job well done

Posted by: kurli at June 17, 2008 8:08 AM

There is a saying - that what we are looking for in our 'other', are the things that we are searching for (but haven't found yet) within ourselves.

It makes for some interesting reading when browsing profiles "ideal partner" ...

As for myself - i'm not looking to set ANY specific time frame for my relationships, (especially not as a prerequisite ), and perhaps thats because i'm ONLY 40 ( lol) but i don't think so .

For me, a mutually salacious gaze across a crowded train in Vienna can be enough to sustain a fantasy for an entire lifetime, (if its intense enough), so for me, its not a matter of time, but of power. Often these sorts of relationships are hopelessly torrid affairs, and don't last long - BUT, what a thrilling ride !

The trouble is that once you've tasted the pleasurably addictive surge of passion- you become like a rat pressing his bar until his own death ( there are tests with pheromones where males do just that !). The trouble with having a addictive personality i guess.

Again, for myself, another critical criterion for a attractive partner is that they be IMPORTANT.
To me, to others, the work they do...

Tells you something about me doesn't it ? (see opener)

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at June 17, 2008 8:01 AM

Kurli. At least Timewarp knows how to put on a punch and judy puppet show. You only need a second puppeteer behind the curtain when you have a third puppet, the “mysterious lady love” of his (who remains as silent as the Mouse in the House that Waterbombe caught with her mouse trap). You are fooling no one. Everyone knows what is going on.

Posted by: horsdoeuvres99 at June 17, 2008 6:39 AM

Posted by: kurli at June 16, 2008 9:38 PM

...oh Kurli, you know that you are all too real to MrRite-Enuf...funny how quickly some start to behave just like the puppet masters and get their own ventriloquist dolls...or dummies...what's good for the goose, or the gander, I guess...and then there are those who sadly throw themselves at the feet of the masters...or "supposed" masters...even sadder...makes the line, "move on" make a lot of sense.

Posted by: istj54 at June 17, 2008 6:06 AM

kurli at 10.54pm: I accept your apology. Rubbishing me is OK. but it has to look adversorial, when one of us is taken already. Must observe the proprieties.

And don't splutter. Of course you and I are connected. By a long series of insults and taunts between us. And you started it, ma'am.

Talking about my lady-love: she's quite a girl too. When you and E E get together to celebrate, can I drop her off to join you?

Perth is also fishing for an invite to join you two, because she'll be back in BrisVegas at that time. That would let me meet the 3 of you when I drop Her off, which would be so nice for me. But E E was also calling me 'darling' today, so I'll have to be very careful of you two.

Posted by: timewarp1 at June 17, 2008 1:26 AM

NW and E E: Tsk tsk! A professional woman with a job and at least ninepence in her purse does not EVER accept a first date on any basis except going Dutch.

She has too much self-esteem to let any man that she doesn't know yet, think he might be able to buy her favours with a couple of hours of his time boasting to her, plus a drop of good plonk and an upmarket meal.

Be definite. Almost stroppy. Let him know implicitly that he's the one who's going to be checked out at the first date, to see if he comes up to scratch. And if he does, that's only the first pre-qualifier.

Ask him what topics of conversation he's comfortable with discussing in depth, and let drop that you take about ten hours of satisfying intellectual discussion spread over several restaurant lunches and dinners before you consider a man qualified to get even as far as your dining room for a home-cooked meal "before we go straight out to see a movie or something.".

The purpose of all this is to short-circuit the process - to avoid having to meet minimum-investors-in-a-hurry, timorous wimps and the unsatisyingly inarticulate at all. Meeting any of those would be disappointing to both parties, so save yourselves the aggro.

The other purpose is to intrigue the super-man who is your match, so he wants to see if you really are as fantastic as you are stroppy. Build your value in his eyes, even before you meet. He's the one you want and deserve.

When I met my darling, I was impressed with her self-assurance, and the way she knew exactly what she wanted. And didn't.

And she was exactly what I already had listed in my perfect-partner profile, so commiting to her was a no-brainer.

Don't muck around with people who obviously aren't your match - boredom is so divisive. And it gets worse.
..............................................................

Expect some unpleasantness from those who realise you're in their Too-hard basket, proportional to the chauvinism of the man. Don't let it bother you. Keep remembering that you have the power, because he wants to dismantle you, more than you want to dismantle him.

I remember our ultra-stroppy 20-something mate Ruthie saying to a pushy suitor in the early 60s:

"Well, if it means I die a virgin, that would be a lot better than having to get it together with you. So again, no thanks - and get lost now, before I take a golf club to you, you 'orrible little man." Overkill, we thought. But you get the idea.

I used to be pretty demanding in RSVP:

I send kiss. She says "Send email" (or crosses herself off list) I send RSVP form-letter email, cut and pasted off the last one.

It says (in less brusque wording than here) that I am fair dinkum about finding my match for the long term, and looking for someone who also is. No iffy tyre-kickers.

So I offer a first all-talking date of no less than 2 hours, and therefore wrapped round a meal. not just coffee. And Dutch, so as not to patronise her, or indebt her to me.

I list 4 or 5 times when I'll be available for this date during the next 2 weeks, and give her my phone number to arrange the date for one of these times, or to stall if she's too busy just now. Or withdraw.

Well under 5% withdrew (because they WERE tyre-kickers, so sight-unseen I was worth a promise of no more than 20 minutes of their time, over coffee only.) Not my match, so good riddence.

The better the person you want, the better you better be yourself. Because we only deserve our match. Seeyez.

Posted by: timewarp1 at June 17, 2008 1:09 AM

Wow Marcus @10:08pm,
After comments like those, I doubt if you'll find too many "needy" middle-aged females longing to jump anywhere with you, these days Marcus!
Hundreds of dates with "needy" middle-aged females over 9 years on RSVP?
How sad, to even contemplate that "hundreds" of middle-aged females may have fallen over themselves to be demeaned by someone as mean-spirited and disrespectful as you!

I think you may find that most middle-aged women no longer have such "desperate neediness" these days, Marcus!
Maybe you have been here way too long!

And as far as the men of the same age who are "comfortable with themselves and take a more recreational view of relationships", I suggest that is more to do with the image those men see, looking back at them when they look in the mirror!
There seems to be an extraordinary number of men in their 40s & 50s on this site who are "told by friends, I look very young for my age" or who just believe "I act and look years younger than my age".
What is it about dating sites, that so many of the middle-aged men are "youthful", "tactile" and/or "sensual"? (and by association virile?)
It's absolutely amazing that their former partners could actually bear to let them go!

I think that the reason so many men your age "are comfortable with themselves and take a more recreational view of relationships" Marcus, is because the person they see looking back at them in the mirror, is not the same person that the rest of the world sees.

For middle-aged women it is a fact of life, that there is always someone like you waiting to tell us how we are now "past our use by date", yet how many men EVER think they are anywhere near theirs!
No matter how physically decreipit they may be!

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 17, 2008 12:19 AM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 16, 2008 10:08 PM

thank you for your truthful reply..from your perspective..and I suspect you are speaking on behalf of many randy aging men that seek the unnatainable..a case of their eyes being bigger than their penis..some women find it hard to swallow.... ... being thought expendable at their gorgeous age and stage of life.. that is :)

look..let's be honest..we know the reasons why..and..believe me..speaking for myself do we really care..none of us here sound needy..we're quite happy with our independent lifestyles..

we like our doggy eared books and wine and comforts..but if we happen to meet a limited edition doggy eared bloke that happens to be a good read and on the same page as us..so be it..c'est la vie..

maybe a post menopausal woman's body and desirable bits and pieces aren't what they used to be..but neither is a middle aged man's little.. bit :) (but at least they work without the aid of a blue or orange pill) :)

goodnight marcus..nw

Posted by: naturalwoman08 at June 17, 2008 12:12 AM

Perth @ 10.43pm.
must disagree that research applied to older parents of both sexes, Older women even with younger males have the same result of birth problems and defects.

Kaz you have been guilty of the same to my recollection in the past, fairs fair,
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at June 16, 2008 11:56 PM

Malsie @ 8.29.
Lets see if you think the same in another 3 years.
Cheers OG.

Posted by: oldergent at June 16, 2008 11:39 PM

malsi and Kaz.....I am with you guys on this, a good book, wine and chocolate while I am looking for the one that is meant for me!!! And...I am eating a Merlot wine chocolate that I was given for my birthday, it is almost better than sex...well I said almost!!!!!!!!!

Marcus, do you really believe some of the shit you write. Anyone having a baby over forty is too OLD! Male or female...just because you can does not make ir right. Children need parents that can grow with them, put up with all the sleepless nights, play all hours of the day and night, then grow into cranky hormonal teenagers, more sleepless nights, then boyfriends/girlfriends ...even more sleepless nights and lots of fights....honestly it is criminal for people over forty to have babies, god they are grandparents at the offsprings 21st birthday parties.

Men that want women a lot younger than them are just looking for a handbag!!! with lots of sex thrown in.....these men are not worth chasing or responding to even when they do send a kiss. Anyone over 40 with undecided or still want children on thier profile, is one big red flag to me and many other women that I know.

Also, having had my children, I do not have anything to prove to anyone about my fertility and virility, do older men who have not had children, still think they need to prove thier fertility and virility - masculinity maybe??

PS, to those that know me, my 22 year old came back from Iraq last night....at last that bit of his life is complete. The army is holding a street parade for all the soldiers that served in Iraq, in the main streets of Brisbane on Sat 28th June, for all of us to say thanks and show appreciation to our serving soldiers. So I will be in Brisbane cheering on my son and his unit at the end of this month....it is such a relief he is back !!!!!

Have a lovely evening all...jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at June 16, 2008 11:36 PM

Nw, a piano, what kind of piano has wheels, or rather big ones at that with tread. How odd. I think you guys must be much more pro-active than I am as I don't get these type of people contacting me. The strangest I had was a meeting at the beach and I didn't like the guy much and neither did my dog strangely enough. However the next day I had about a 2 hour drive up the coast to a community centre and guess who turned up there, just visiting friends in the area. Thought that was a bit creepy and gave him the cold shoulder and told him I was busy. I am sure he got the message very quickly. Profile disappeared the next day also.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 16, 2008 11:07 PM

Boston Legal

Tonight Denny Crane told Allan Shore that it is better to want something we cant have, than have something we dont want.

Posted by: virgil at June 16, 2008 11:06 PM

TW@10.20whatever!

Sincere apologies to you sir.........I PROMISE not to be so facetious in the future.But I was a little het up over some idiot thinking I was a puppet under another's control.He also had the audacity to ask if you & I were "connected"!! (splutter! choke!)
Your poor lady-love doesnt need that sort complication. Apologies to her also, from a contrite kurli

Posted by: kurli at June 16, 2008 10:54 PM

laughsandtalks, 10.08pm:
"a viable vehicle for her genes."
Marcus, honey, I like many women my age have to cope with the fact that I am still there with my genes, and fussy enough not to let them near someone as caustically naive as you!!!
Good luck with the ladies matey, let them know you are only in it for your gene procreation and see how long you manage to last with them......oh boy.....I hope my sons never grow up to be like this.....

Posted by: eleganteloquent at June 16, 2008 10:49 PM

Marcus, such a generalist post,@ 10.08pm today...........................K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 16, 2008 10:45 PM

Posted by: eleganteloquent at June 16, 2008 8:11 PM
chat with someone who wanted confirmation/ a guarantee of you know what because he didn't want to 'waste time and good wine'. Please!

EE
this rsvp 'journey' is beginning to unravel itself slowly to reveal some unpleasant but predictable outcomes...tonight I received quite an abusive e-mail after I told a person..politely.. that I did not wish to continue communication (as he was beginning to sound quite weird) ..and courteously signed off..only to be hit with a barrage of ridiculousness that only a certified weirdo could think of..and they ranged from being called a nazi because of my political persuasion..(since removed from profile) (is nothing sacred).. to saying I had a photo of my DAUGHTER on my profile..and on and on with some weird gobbledegook..oh laugh..and some reference to my main photo being of me sitting in a piano..he couldn't even tell it was a vintage car! ..oh I can't help laughing..a piano..

all this because I ended the contact after a dodgey e-mail..I have been very guarded with my replies up until now..but even more so now..

keep alert

cheers..nw x

Posted by: naturalwoman08 at June 16, 2008 10:44 PM

Marcus, that is so sad. There is however documented evidence at the moment that men in older age do not sire healthy offspring. The incidence of birth deformity in children born with an elderly father is much higher than one born with a younger father. This is not dependent on the age of the woman, which would make a lot more sense to me. Thus, maybe a man is not quite as productive as he would like to think into older age.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 16, 2008 10:43 PM

Kaz, Good words indeed. I am also not about to settle for MrNotQuiteRight or Mr Rightenuff. Quite a few of the older men I have met don't seem to have a lot of outside interests and have been married for years and fitted into a very strict regime. They are also retired or semi retired and don't seem to understand when they have a working partner. The whole thing goes okay for a while but then I am usually the one who starts to get bored with it all. I like my good red, good book and curled under the doonah with my cat too much I think. My ideal bloke would have to be the independent type, who wanted to come home because he wanted to see me and be home not because that's where his clothes are washed and his food is cooked.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 16, 2008 10:27 PM

eleganteloquent at 2:00pm: loved it. Have any other of you girls recognised any other male player archetypes?
.........................................................

kurli, you are making me feel more and more awkward today. I'm fine being teased in a sisterly way - even more fun than rabbling with the puppets.

But "sweet friend" and "poor man, dear old TW" sound far too much like 'girl germs' to me.

Ma'am, I have a beloved now. We pledged our troth by exchange of emails after I got home here from tennis on Sunday night.

We might be elderly, but we are up to the minute with telecommunications, I assure you. As you need to be, if you plan to keep separate homes, and only be together 2 or 3 days a week, until I can retire.

So I'll ask you to have a little more respect for my ball and chain, and cut out all this embarrassing soppy stuff.

thelynathdiary at 6:57pm: I know you wouldn't crib, so I have to say ROFLMBO and well done. What a relief from your deep and meaningful role in the "Friends with Ex?" blog.

E E & malsie: Thanks for the positive feedbacks. Makes the slow laborious 2-finger typing worthwhile. Must cook a quick dinner and get back to typing some price quotations. Seeyez.

Posted by: timewarp1 at June 16, 2008 10:26 PM

naturalwoman08 June 16, 2008 7:11 PM
The behaviour of those men should not have been unexpected.
I think it is a conceit that post menopausal women have about the level of interest men should or will show them. It is natural and desirable for a man whatever his age to look for a partner who is healthy and austensibly reproductively able, regardless of the social perceptions or indeed the womans. Men are generally reproductively viable for 20 or more years longer than a woman.
Unfortunately in biological terms (as opposed to social ones) a woman who is no longer a viable vehicle for her genes in a very definite sense is no longer useful.
There has been comment here about 'invisible middle aged women' and I am sure it is strongly tied to this.
a woman in her early 50's is probably 15 years past last drinks. That is well understood by women, or at least intuited. There are quite a few girly long termers that have been a metaphorical 49 for many years.
In the 9 or so years I have been in RSVP I have had plenty, hundreds, of dates with pre menopausal pentagenarian women. From a younger mans perspective there is the very ready sexual availability of these women and very often an alarming, almost desperate needyness to be 'in' a relationship often regardless of its quality. Perhaps it has something to do with changing hormones. Men the same age in contrast seem to be at a stage when they are comfortable with themselves and take a more recreational view of relationships.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 16, 2008 10:08 PM

Malsie, absolutely agree with you, call it fussy, picky or selective, but settling for MrNotQuiteRight is also not on my agenda.

I read a profile a while ago, a mans one, and he had a line in it that said he did not want to live a second hand life. I found that particular line quite intriguing and can't for the life of me remember the mans profile name, however to my way of thinking, it resonates with me now more than ever before.
This does not mean that we are picky or fussy, just that "the one" is worth waiting for.

Til then, l am a bit like you Malsie, a good book, a good red, and some good music, with forays into our cold winter nights all rugged up will do when the opportunity presents......................K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 16, 2008 9:44 PM

E&E.......
the kicking up heels and painting the town red sounds a great idea....at least that way someone might realise I'm REAL (VBG)

Growing old disgracefully :-)
kurli

Posted by: kurli at June 16, 2008 9:38 PM

Perth, kurli, girls nights out any time are a great idea! A wheelchair may be needed by all of us by the end of the night - fight you for it kurli ;)
Perth, I flirt.. a lot... hence some weird comments from guys...not sure I am going to give it all up in a hurry either, unless that miracle mr right comes along.
Just having fun while I can I guess. It is all harmless and, hey, isn't that what it is about, harmless fun whilst looking in earnest, that way friends are made without being deadly serious about everybody. We both maje friends, but just different in how we do that :)
I guess we are all very different in who we are as people so also in how we are in dating. Thank heavens for that as well!!

Posted by: eleganteloquent at June 16, 2008 9:22 PM

Hi Kurli, TW has made many statements that I am not real so don't let it get to you. If you say anything they don't like they start saying you are not real, just a made up profile. TW also made long noises about taking half a day to type one page however, he seems to be ripping them out at the moment like a person possessed. Don't worry about it, you know who you are. I'm sure you won't need a wheel chair but if you do we'll all have a ride !!!!!

Posted by: iaminperth at June 16, 2008 9:11 PM

E&E.......
the kicking up heels and painting the town red sounds a great idea....at least that way someone might realise I'm REAL (VBG)
Of course,by then I'll have hit the big 70,and I may need a wheel chair.

Growing old disgracefully :-)
kurli

Posted by: kurli at June 16, 2008 8:49 PM

EE, Maybe you are being a little too open or friendly, that is really over the top being propositioned like that. I don't understand why the blokes you are meeting are so rude. I haven't met any like that, a couple of dopey ones I have to admit, but no-one so rude. I had one contact me for a chat one night and the conversation started going that way but when he made any leaning as to what I felt I just typed 'bored' and disconnected. That was only one and a much younger guy who made contact late at night. Are you trying to pack a wealth of information and lifetime experience into a first date and maybe scaring them silly ? Don't know what's happening here....

Posted by: iaminperth at June 16, 2008 8:36 PM

nightrider and OG, I can see that being "selective" (nice term, ynotalice, and thanks for answering my query) looks like being picky, or vain, or something similar. I've been on and off rsvp for about 3 years now and have had some relationships in that time (just none that have lasted yet), so I don't think I am "picky", just not particularly mainstream, so thus hard to find someone suitable for me. Neither am I meaning to be derogatory about any men or say anything as appalling as "there are no decent men available" - just few that seem suitable for me.

Just as ynotalice is entitled to be "selective", so are we all. And to be honest, OG, I would far rather be alone with a good book and my faithful dog than sharing a life with someone who isn't right for me but just "wants me" - that's just not enough for me. It may be for some, and that's fine for them. I'm not looking for perfection, and I certainly know I'm not perfect either (obviously).

I think you were spot on, timewarp, when you said:

"Few men know that if you want to reach the major erogenous zone half-way between a woman's ears, carefully-chosen words are the key."

I'm so pleased for you your relationship is doing so well, and glad you're continuing to blog here when your time must be more limited now. It's just finding the click with one person that you need, but that "click" does have to be there, I do believe.

Posted by: malsie at June 16, 2008 8:29 PM

Kurli and EE, I honestly think friendship first is the way to go. I have met some lovely people on this site as I have said previously. Were they long term the one for me, no, but we have enjoyed weeks and even months of having quite a good time. My committment thing has been more out of whack than theirs as I think most men settle rather easily into the domestic bliss type of thing, whereas having been there and done that, I don't. Also each man I have met has been retired or semi and I still work full time and they don't seem to get it when it changes the dynamics. However, having said that, don't give up but don't hold your breath every time you meet someone, friendships are a good starting point I believe. By the way I think I am at the Gold Coast for a conference early October for four days Fri/Mon, not confirmed as yet but we could catch up and have a girls night out, would be a bit of a hoot I think!

Posted by: iaminperth at June 16, 2008 8:27 PM

horsdoeuvres99.............
so sorry to disappoint you my friend,but I am totally ME and nobody else's creation.
I thought long and hard before entering the blogging sandpit, and then thought "Why not! nothing ventured nothing gained"
Besides I just love stirring the possum occasionally if you haven't noticed.(smiles)

As for being masculine in my speech.......maybe being married to a real man for 45 years and living in rural situations where a woman needed to pull her weight.... as well as being a nurse,and having two sons who taught me the joys of riding motor bikes and water skis;and last but not least ,actually enjoying talking with men has coloured my terminology.

Sorry.........but I'm ME and a figment of no one's imagination.Even (dare I incur his scorn yet again,poor man) 'dear old TW would be hard pushed to invent someone like moi!
But hey.........MY profile is out in the public domain!WHY is yours hidden? Too hot in the kitchen for you perhaps??
bon nuit
kurli

Posted by: kurli at June 16, 2008 8:20 PM

Oh tw...you do have a way with words...top of the dresser (blushing)...nice advice darling, thank u!

Posted by: eleganteloquent at June 16, 2008 8:17 PM

ynotalice @ 3pm mentioned preconceptions about looks...I participated in an RSVP survey this afternoon where I had to comment on 13 profiles without photos. Quite a few of them seemed lovely blokes, so I checked out their profiles properly later and realised that I had not really paid attention before to the text, more to the pic....I will be more open minded in future.
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at June 16, 2008 8:12 PM

Estelle, thanks for the advice but I am a widow, have been for over a decade, and that is me...not single, another reason for being on here :)
nw...love your comments... one must indeed have humour... just been on a chat with someone who wanted confirmation/ a guarantee of you know what because he didn't want to 'waste time and good wine'. Please!
And timewarp, you said something absolutely the most important thing any guy on here could read "They don't realise that their RSVP profile is probably the most important CV they'll ever write". ABSOLUTELY.

Posted by: eleganteloquent at June 16, 2008 8:11 PM

Posted by: waterbombe at June 16, 2008 1:53 PM
Thanks. You give us all something to look foward to.

Posted by: waterlily58 at June 16, 2008 7:46 PM

Someone said earlier "maybe there are heaps of males out there who just decided they have had enough and have chosen to drop out of the scene." We have a winner..! I,ve tried to meet women on this site, and have been stood up, and another one tried some fancy footwork on me which resulted in her being charged with fraud by the police. And reading some of the comments here even from older guys, give us Middle aged men no incentive to try to meet women here. Also i think some people here will never meet anybody, There saying there checking over 1000 profiles and only found one person, May i suggest that maybe your a little to picky, I think this place is a waste of time trying to meet fair dinkum women.

Posted by: nightrider162 at June 16, 2008 7:45 PM

Posted by: eleganteloquent at June 16, 2008 2:00 PM
Love it!

Posted by: waterlily58 at June 16, 2008 7:40 PM

EE..The trouble is that soooo many guys are looking for the 30-ish age bracket, not willing to look at 55..

how about this ..friend of mine for 41 years and I were having dinner recently..she is widowed with four grownup young daughters..

a couple of men sat at the next table..soon after.. a couple of her daughters and friends arrived for drinks with us..then left..

as we were about to leave we got a 'hoi' from the guys next to us..big cheesy grins..late 40 somethings..(things were looking up)! lol

as we turned around they asked us if the other girls were coming back ..and if not could we tell them they really liked them and would like to meet them for a drink AND proceeded to write down their phone numbers

all I remember after that is them asking us how we knew them and my friend saying she was their mother..and that they were only 22 and 26 respectively!

they didn't even blink!

we walked back to the car in shock..horror..that's when I realised I was in a Timewarp.. now trying to crawl my way out..enter in late 20's..exit early 50's..yes..some things have changed ..my appearance and life experiences..and I own that..but do some of these men? ..

in relation to rsvp I have only been on one date and at least this man was realistic about age preferences..pity he wasn't realistic about his manners..

c'est la vie:) one must have humour!

cheers nw

Posted by: naturalwoman08 at June 16, 2008 7:11 PM

Dear Diary,

What does dating mean to me? Hmmm Should I write a kiss and tell expose of the TRUTH? This will mean revealing to the world my dating secrets and never fail date -rater- barometers.The excitement Barometer and Thepost date Relationship Potential Barometer Christian Carter thinks he has all the secrets and answers but none like this.
I shall write a best seller called "Dating and the Diet Barometer of Love. Is dating making you fat? How dating the right man determines your weight."

A snippet....

! . A contact is received and accepted

2 Prepare for date by Choosing suitable diet prior to meeting. This is where the Barometer of excitement comes in . It indicates how happy you really are to meet this person.
The excitement level can be determined as follows:

O-20.Plan to wear a loose coat(He is ok)

20-40 Plan to eat a salad the day before.(A bit interesting)

40-60.Speed dial to Jenny Craig ( Like him)

60-80. Soup diet or Israeli Army diet(don't ask)Walk if any energy. (I have found him)

80-100 Diet pills and water to wash down one apple Treadmill non stop.(OMG!)

Once the first date has taken place it is time to take a reading from the" Barometer of Relationship Potential". It takes effect on the way home and indicates what you really thought and just how attracted you really were as follows:

80-100 The apple is way too much food(Book church)
60_80 That soup is delicious (Dream of "weekend away" )
40_60 I can have a bit of chocolate.(try a second date)
20-40 Hello Jenny Craig? I am sorry I am just going out of town for awhile...can't make this weeks appointment....( no attraction)
0-20 I'll have a large double cheese burger with bacon large fries an apple pie..oh and a diet coke...and make is quick....( will never meet again)

Posted by: thelynathdiary at June 16, 2008 6:57 PM

malsie at 1.53pm:

Someone was looking at a lot of male profiles today and imagined she saw a lot of conceit in many of them. Maybe she'd see that in mine, and I'd be interested to know.

1) Most men are driven by economics. There are things they want for themselves, some more than others. The key is that they hope to get each item as cheaply as possible.

So if all they want from RSVP is a willing bedmate, they invest the least time and trouble in setting up their femmetrap which we call a profile, and then they send out a lot of kisses pretty indiscriminately.

That saves wasting a lot of time reading the women's profiles. If she looks pretty enough to grace your pillow, that's all you need, and after some of the kissees opt out, you're still left with the possibles.

You know the dividend you want, and you try to get it from the least investment possible of time and money.

There was a bloke at Cloudland dance hall in the 1960s who'd get into the Progressive Barn Dance, and in the 6 or 8 seconds he was with each girl, he'd say "Hi. Do you f....?" And memorise the dresses on the ones who said "Yes" - and didn't follow it up with "But I don't fancy you."

2) Most men in the non-journalistic professions are far less articulate than your average intelligent woman. It shows, even if they have gone to some trouble.

3) Often they only think in terms of "I'm worth whatever I want, so I'll just tell you what I want."

4) Few men know that if you want to reach the major erogenous zone half-way between a woman's ears, carefully-chosen words are the key.

They don't realise that their RSVP profile is probably the most important CV they'll ever write.

5) Someone else please fill in some more pieces of the jigsaw. I'm back to work.

Posted by: timewarp1 at June 16, 2008 4:10 PM

waterbombe @1.53pm.
I'm sure EE,malsie and myself appreciate your encouraging words,but as I stated in my profile,I'm "happy being me" and would prefer to stay alone than have to adjust myself to someone's concept of what (they think) I should be.,
Maybe women are prepared to work harder to have a good relationship;maybe some men think they are still god's gift to women and that the women should do all the hunting this time around
Having said that,I'm only too aware of how some women think they are far too precious to be anywhere other than up on a pedestal.
I felt that Grego gave insightful advice to not only the females but also the men who might be wondering if it's worth the hassle..

Then again playing a different tune is my "sweet friend".TW proclaiming how illogically inconsistent I am..........sorry my name isnt Muriel ............and I still dont have blue hair!!How could I give up blogging and MISS his patronising ways.?Besides I ENJOY being illogical and inconsistent..it helps keep other on their toes (smiling sweetly)

Posted by: kurli at June 16, 2008 3:34 PM

grego, waterbombe and malsey - thank you all for such widely useful advice.

I'm really relating to this topic because I felt the same. In my case, far too old to interest a lively woman under 70, but not half rich, retired or grey enough to go nomad like a proper 72-year-old.

Over-educated multi-faculty know-it-all, boringly complex of thought and argument, and frequently proving that I'd swallowed a large dictionary.

And a sports-playing jock, mainly looking for an athletic old girl who'd be hoping to race him back to the wrinklies' retreat in ten years time. Or 15, in Paralympics wheelchairs.

Next!!

Until the living embodiment of my pre-written perfect-partner ultimate inyerdreams fantasy suddenly found me on RSVP, and sent me a kiss. After 2 and a half years!

Grego you're right about old photos. My ex in her early 20s was ordinary-looking. Face halfway between beautiful and plain, and chubby rather than curvy. Friends then said I was a lot better looking. Face and figure.

But when I saw a photo of her in Brownie uniform at 8, ecstatically hugging a live koala, I thought "If she throws daughters who look like that, she's beautiful enough for anyone."

WB rightfully claims for herself "intelligence, education, feistiness and age" and advises "Actually you find that the really attractive and selfconfident men find those things appealing."

Dead right. They are some of the characteristics that endear my new darling to me - but only because I have the self-confidence to see them as attractive, rather than threatening and intimidating and even emasculating.

Result: I'm man enough to keep her in order (occasionally) and she's feisty enough not to bore me (too often). Oh dear, I might pay for that one this weekend ....

But as it applies to you top-of-dresser girls (that's the ones who are better than the top-drawer girls), WB and grego are right - go looking for the rare-as-rooster-teeth super men who will deserve you, and you them.

Good hunting, Dianas!

Posted by: timewarp1 at June 16, 2008 3:32 PM

Just a suggestion eleganteloquent, change your marital status to single.
Estelle

Posted by: enrepres at June 16, 2008 3:30 PM

Could I politely enquire of �Kurli� whether you are a real person or someone that another blogger has made up. Some of your phraseology is very masculine. A person told me that you have something to do with Timewarp. Is that true?

Posted by: horsdoeuvres99 at June 16, 2008 3:04 PM

Malsie,

As you asked for mens' perspectives on the importance of the written word in a profile I thought I'd proffer mine.

I can only speak for myself but I feel that the only way to really get a feel if someone could be compatible with yourself is to read what they say on their profile. I make allowances for typo's or grammar and try to see what type of person they are before coming to a decision. To me basing an approach to someone based primarily on what they look like is only setting yourself up for a fall. Shallow much? Looks do play a part in attraction of course, but attraction is only that, compatibility is more important to me in the long term, which is what I seek.

In the last month I've sent out maybe 7 'kisses' (I'm quite selective), 5 of which have gone to people without a photo visible to me at the time. My ideal partner area hasn't been completed much for this reason, I don't have preconceptions of the physical characteristics that I'm looking for, more the personality traits that I find attractive.

Don't kmow if I'm typical but that's my opinion/method.

Posted by: ynotalice at June 16, 2008 3:00 PM

EE..The trouble is that soooo many guys are looking for the 30-ish age bracket, not willing to look at 55..

how about this one..friend of mine for 41 years and I were having dinner recently..she is widowed with four grownup young daughters..

a couple of men sat at the next table..soon after.. a couple of her daughters and friends arrived for drinks with us..then left..

as we were about to leave we got a 'hoi' from the guys next to us..big cheesy grins..late 40 somethings..(things were looking up)! lol

as we turned around they asked us if the other girls were coming back ..and if not could we tell them they really liked them and would like to meet them for a drink AND proceeded to write down their phone numbers

all I remember after that is them asking us how we knew them and my friend saying she was their mother..and that they were only 22 and 26 respectively!

they didn't even blink!

we walked back to the car in shock..horror..particularly me as I was a newby to all of this..that's when I realised I was in a real Timewarp..and now am trying to crawl my way out..enter in late 20's..exit early 50's..nothing has changed except my appearance and life experiences..but to the male punters out there..in terms of shelf appeal..read.. expired and discontinued..

they are waiting for the new batch of homogenised goods to select from..good luck!

to be honest..I can't really judge from personal experience..only observation..and in relation to rsvp I have only been on one date and at least this man was realistic about age preferences..pity he wasn't realistic about his manners!

ok gentlemen..get interesting..open up..and talk about it..what is the truth? really..is anyone man enough to speak up?

have we got it all wrong? men..say something..put Lynda out of her misery..and others ..aaaah..c'est la vie

p.s (I know not all of you are like that)..

mwah! nw

Posted by: naturalwoman08 at June 16, 2008 2:57 PM

WB.
About time you posted that advice, reading a lot of profiles myself, the few meetings I have instigated, suffering the judgemental scrutiny and rejection then wondering why I ever bothered with that type of woman, who obviously has her idea of herself actually over estimated. I have now come to the conclusion that it is of "no consequence in this site of what I want but more of who is prepared to accept me."

I read of women complaining about men wanting 20 year younger women and then of women that reject men the same age, heaven forbid that the men ever be older than them. To those ladies that can read all those profiles and can find so few suitable people to interview, have a good hard look at yourselves. If you cannot change, enjoy the loneliness of your own doing. Most men I know would not put up with an attitude like yours for very long. I mean no offence to you but in a response to the question posed by Malsie at 1.53 pm.

I will say it again "what is more important, the vanity fueled want of the ideal partner, or having someone with you that wants you and is preparted to put up with your undiscovered or undisclosed faults"

Clothe it any way you want, fussy, discerning, it all comes back that you have been looking for a long time, and probably without change will continue to be lookers till your looks fade.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at June 16, 2008 2:40 PM

That's really great feedback waterbombe. I do keep looking and will continue to do so.
And Malsie, I agree about being discerning - very important! Let's face it, we aren't looking for something trivial here, it is someone to share the rest of our lives with, and that is HUGE.
Guys are very visual - the interesting ones are also more eloquent and can actually portray an interesting written profile . I always look to that to decide on a potential attraction.
I also look outside (some) of my profile preferences. Very important to keep an open mind.
With all this help, we should all be in long-term happy relationships before Christmas.
If not, I reckon kurli and I need to go out on the town up here in brissie and paint it lipstick red, kicking our heels in the air and enjoying life to the max!! Then maybe organising a get together with other lovely blogger ladies around this beautiful country and doing the same again.
Life should be fun, yes? And if it isn't that is the time to go out and make it fun!

Posted by: eleganteloquent at June 16, 2008 2:34 PM

Hi, NW - thanks for that! Funnily enough, I think I know who you mean and have just been in contact with the very same person over the weekend, and hope to hear back in reply to my email ...
However, have had enough to do with rsvp now to realise people show interest, then vanish inexplicably and many, many other vagaries of internet dating! I take very little as gospel now...

My preference is for a red as well, and am particularly partial to the merlots - seems like a lovely tipple to me. I'm a member of a wine club that frequently leads me astray with such good offers that I can't help myself!

Posted by: malsie at June 16, 2008 2:02 PM

TW: loved the reminiscing
cutesmiles...a swift kick up the rear end required??? or maybe time to walk away with that "whatever" backward glance....?
I talk with lots of guys, yes actually talk, when I date them. One told me that he liked my male-like attitude (?), but many seem to break through and tell me what men want/are like... this is how it seems to go:
Keep me chasing - the evolutionary tape "all men are hunters"
I play the field - the footy player tape
There are plenty more fish in the sea - the fisherman tape
I'm not sure I am really ready for a long-term relationship yet - the 'lazy as' tape
I'll pay this time (coffee only), you can the next, we'll go to the Hilton - the cheapskate tape
My wife didn't understand me - the probably still married tape
I don't want to talk about financial/home issues - the almost certainly still married tape
Let's just have a good time and see how it goes - the watch out for the stds tape
OK, so I am getting cynical!

Posted by: eleganteloquent at June 16, 2008 2:00 PM

Yes, it was lovely to see another fellow "Buddhist", EE, and I'm enjoying reading your posts :)

mystiemuse, I looked at 1000 profiles from interstate the other day before I found just ONE I felt I wanted to send a kiss to (who replied positively, which was lovely, and who has now hidden his profile!! Luckily I hadn't yet bought the stamps...). I only looked at so many because I just couldn't believe there were so few I could be interested in.
And much like yourself, it's just necessary to find at least the basics of something you may have in common and an interesting look that draws you in - certainly not about looking for an Adonis or perfection, being "too fussy" (although some may deem it so) or having what I'd regard as unrealistic expectations.

What men write on their profile is one of the most important things to me - how they come across in terms of intelligence, wit, sensitivity and possible compatability. I don't know that men are so concerned with that in women's profiles (and I'm not saying they're just interested in the looks; obviously some level of compatability is important, but I'm suggesting the written word not so much so as to a woman).

When women get accused of being "too fussy" (what I regard as "discerning"), I think it may be something to do with this latter point. But I'd be interested to hear what the men on here think about that (I think it was grego who said some while ago that what a woman wrote was most important for him too, but I'm wondering about others).

Posted by: malsie at June 16, 2008 1:53 PM

EE and Kurli...hang in there, there is more than one way to skin a cat. I met a guy on RSVP six months ago today and we have been inseparable for all that time...despite my intelligence, education, feistiness and age (56)..Actually you find that the really attractive and selfconfident men find those things appealing. I do live in Melbourne where there is a big population and the blokes are generally lovely, so that was a help in finding a partner.

I put my success down to being very careful about who I contacted on RSVP. I did not wait for men to contact me…you will wait a long time to meet someone that way if you are a woman over 50. Blokes seem to have a kind of mindset…they think a woman over 50 is unattractive…if they think about women over 50 at all. But I found when I approached them, that they had not really been that serious in setting an age limit…I am 7 years older than my partners stated upper age limit for example.. Grego is right re your MO - be rational and plan it. I was very particular with whom I contacted, because I wanted a very good match, so I did not contact many men. I was attracted by really well written and humourous profiles…if someone is intelligent, they will be able to string a few decent words together, and that will tell you something about their mind. I had 4 decent (but not quite good enough) relationships before I met my partner. In total I was on and off RSVP for 18 months...probably on for about 4 or 5 months. Mr WB is gorgeous, happy, funny, intelligent, caring, thoughtful, adventurous and exciting…can not ask for much more, can you.
Good luck...do not believe age, intelligence, feistiness or education stand in your way...there are guys out there looking for that. You sound like lively witty intelligent women who have achieved something significant in your lives...but you will probably have to approach the guys on this site, not wait for them to approach you….that is the way it goes if you are over 50. But if you do plan carefully and continue to contact men who attract you, I think you'll find one who you will want to keep forever.

Posted by: waterbombe at June 16, 2008 1:53 PM

I looked at your profile, EE (and Naturalwoman the other day) - which reminds me yet again that most of the profiles I enjoy the most are unfortunately those belonging to females!

Posted by: malsie at June 16, 2008 12:44 PM

hi malsie

thank you! I agree..the profiles I tend to enjoy are by women as well..

malsie..I thought of you the other day when I remembered a kiss I received from a guy in tassie..very cute I thought..but the usual..he sent me a kiss..I replied..then voofff! vanish..

maybe you could have a wee look.. wish I could name names..maybe a hint..he lives by a river..lake..sea? with a dog..a pier and two wine glasses lol you may have already stumbled upon him..anyway..here I am matchmaking!

well..it wouldn't hurt..just to have a red on the river..would it?

by the way..bring whichever wine you prefer..would love to recommend one..just tried it the other day..wonderful!..a Majella Cab Sav 2007 'The Musician' from the Coonawarra.. if you can get hold of one yet..just released..

Posted by: naturalwoman08 at June 16, 2008 1:42 PM

some men are all talk and no action!

Posted by: cutesmile52 at June 16, 2008 1:21 PM

jenniferhi at 7:02am: Thank you for your sweet words. And you're right. For real magic you do have to go about it like teenagers (or porcupines) - slowly and tenderly. One of my many fridge-magnet affirmations sums it up:

"The journey, not just the arriving."

kurli at 8.51am: Now there's a woman for you. Typical illogical inconsistency, easily detected in an instant by the incisive male mind.

Saying age is just a number, and then immediately calling me old for the umteenth time. To my face, yet.

Ma'am, I think you're just trying to stir me, any way you can. Your name's not Muriel by any chance?

Sorry about the hair-colour dig. I believe you of course. It's just how it finished up looking in your profile photo.

eleganteloquent at 9:55am: You are dead right. Especially about middle aged single men. I've worked 5 years out of the last 11 on the Dabblers Social Club honorary committee in Brisbane - 2 as president and then 3 as events programme co-ordinator for the 50-70 (older) age group. And I saw it all the time.

Most of our effort was spent trying to lure more men to our unthreatening functions, and then to join them up for their dollar a week.

A few points I learned there about the typical middle-aged recycled-single Brisbane male:

1) Lookie for Nookie seems to be his only purpose for returning to the social scene at all - except for a few isolated romantics like OG, Virgil and me, who want a partner for sharin' livin' as well as sharin' lovin'.

2) When he was married, his foreplay repetiore was probably confined to "You still awake luv?"

To him it seems cruelly unkind that fate has now placed him amongst a population of street-smart, wolf-detecting recycled-single red-hood grannies, who all expect so much more than that from him, before they'll even think of getting round to accomodating him. (And their own yearning libidos.)

3) So many men just give up, and spend Saturday nights in the one place where their egos feel safe - seated within reach of their TV/DVD remote and bar fridge. The beer softens their feeling of lost opportunities, and they doze off quietly into a brewers' droop.

4) Worse still, most of those grannies want to boogie. With a man. First.

Which is a big problem for your average middle-aged man and his two left feet:

* Like my Ex, he believes that dancing is something you'd only ever resort to if you were desperate for a navel engagement, AND that's the only possible way you could hope to get one.

* All the women are probably fitter than he is, and better dancers. (He's usualy not wrong there.)

* TV has taught us that dancing is a spectator sport, and he's not going to make a fool of himself in front of 200 coolly-appraising female eyes. And one pair of partner feet.

* It's not fair to make it so difficult, to get what he used to get so easily.

* Those filipinas look more undemanding every week. And they're even right here on RSVP.

Let me tell you about my first RSVP dance party in Jan. 2006.

They had a very subtle meet-and-greet icebreaker game - at the door, gave each man a nut, and each woman a bolt.

Yes - I know - that's the wrong way around. Just so it wouldn't be so oooowah/ snigger rude, Three different diameters at random, from the same icecream tub.

Go up to the first woman and say "Can I check whether I'm your size?" 3 or 4 responses of "No thank you, you dirty little 60-something boy" before each "why not?"

If you do have a size match (one chance in 3) you both go to the door to prove it and each get a raffle ticket - couple of $300 prizes drawn, later in the night.

Norm Beergut would have had a go. Tried 7 women in turn, always with his best leer. Only 2 even let him try for a fit, but no matches, so he headed for the bar for the evening.

I persevered and got myself about 50 raffle tickets, then went inside to dance.

No women there in their 60s or 70s - too much younger competition. Lots of 50s and 40s, stylishly and expensively dressed and accessorised, and flawlessly face-painted.

They'd come in 2s to 5s to chat together and collect evidence to reinforce their world view - that any man who'd go to a function like this would have to be a total reject. (Very encouraging for those men.)

I politely asked a couple of dozen of the oldest, plainest and/or most obese to dance - knockback every time, though each had not seen another woman knock me back.

That's the kiss of death: "I'm not accepting what she's rejected - I'm at least as good as she is, whoever she is!".

It was all DJ disco dance music from the mid 90s to current. What I'd danced to most Saturday nights from about1999 to 2004 at either Swingles or Judy's. My scene.

So I thought "I'm gunna have a dance somehow. And not solo like the tragics."

So I started asking girls in their 30s. Couple of knockbacks, then as I was walking along to where they couldn't have seen my last knockback, a tap on my shoulder "I wanna dance too, so why the hell not?"

She was a couple of inches taller and not petite - about 18C over 20 or 22 I'd guess (can't avoid statistics) but with beautiful small wrists and ankles. And could she dance! Her feet twinkled. I put on my best showiest performance for two numbers, and we would have looked not too bad.

Then I said to her "This next tune is going to have to be my last, or I'll have a heart attack at this rate".

As we turned to walk off when it finished, she gave me a kiss on the forehead and said "Thanks. I enjoyed that a lot. You're pretty good, for an old bloke."

And a good-looking dance-watching young feller her age (early to mid 30s, I'd guess) that we had to push past to get off the floor without bumping his schooner, said to me "Goodonyer, gramps. Wish I had half your courage."

My courage got her a string of dance partners her own age, for the next couple of hours. I still feel good about that.

Yes EE - courage is what it takes. After you've set yourself a goal, and decided to keep working at it till you get there. Somehow. However long it takes. Or as my Mum used to say "nothing attempted, nothing gained."

Lookit the time!. Lose track of it when I get reminiscing. Reckon I better start attempting to earn my living. Seeyez.

Posted by: timewarp1 at June 16, 2008 1:18 PM

Checked yours out too Malsie..we are a lot alike. There are some amazing women on rsvp. What is it with guys? Have they no pride? Get on in there and take these beautiful, intelligent, sexy, ethical, worthy women off this site!!!

Posted by: eleganteloquent at June 16, 2008 1:09 PM

EE, I don't find many people here where I live appropriate for me either and do look further afield to other states. Of course it makes the logistics difficult, but I'm open to the possibility of relocating should it seem totally the right thing to do (or else enticing someone here, which has happened sort of, but unfortunately the relationship didn't work out ultimately).

There was a whole blog topic on this ages ago, about interstate relationships - an interesting read on people's perspectives.

I found your strategic planning interesting, grego - I go far more on intuition than anything so concrete, so would be unlikely to do the same, but am happy for you you met your partner so quickly. For myself, I've had a few shortish term "relationships" through rsvp, but not the "lasting" one I'm seeking. Sometimes it does seem all too hard to find what you're looking for and I think a lot of people do give up, somewhat disillusioned.

Reading how other people are coping with it all on here I find very helpful in that regard. It truly does make you feel less "alone" in some of the experiences, especially when people are willing enough to speak from the heart and be vulnerable, knowing that some of the most innocuous posts on here can occasionally be savagely attacked for what seems to me like no good reason.
I looked at your profile, EE (and Naturalwoman the other day) - which reminds me yet again that most of the profiles I enjoy the most are unfortunately those belonging to females!

Posted by: malsie at June 16, 2008 12:44 PM

Well I just looked at 280 (hard to believe) profiles of men between 38 - 48 and I probably only clicked on 8 of them. Its not that I am so fussy that no one could possibly live up to my standards, but I do like a certain look and then I of course read to see if the small personality snippet we see makes them even more interesting. I found probably two that I thought were nice enough to kiss but alas as I have no means to reply to them if they deem me worthy, then I do not think it is fair of me to make first contact,,, :-S
But I can honestly say out of the 8 or so I looked at further, the arrogance of some men still astounds me!!!! We all have some sort of opinion of ourselves that others share or raise their eyebrows at, but some really need to be taken down a peg or two!!!
Oh well back to the looking wistfully into the profile jungle...... *sigh*

Posted by: mystiemuse at June 16, 2008 12:39 PM

grego, Thanks hugely for that. The compliments are good as well, but I do see how my pluses can be negatives. Such is life. About the interstate...that is where I seem to be finding the biggest matching, but the tyrrany of distance steps in over time. I sometimes think I should relocate to Sydney or Melbourne (to be near to Canberra as well). But my family and friends are here.
1 in 5 would be nice. If that was the odds for me then I should have been in a long-term relationship quite a few dates ago LOL
Your thing about sending kisses, well I do. The trouble is that soooo many guys are looking for the 30-ish age bracket, not willing to look at 55, despite everything, so I get no thanks don't fit, and they want a much younger age. Some say ok though. Maybe I am dating too much??
The intelligence issue gets compounded when I talk about what I have done in my life...been a full Prof 3 times over, very senior management consultant, artist, counsellor, psychologist (yeah one of those, which I still am). Are you beginning to get a feeling for how the poor guys feel now? I try to keep quiet about it for a while but it comes out eventually. Very public of me to declare this but not really bothered as it has been in previous profiles anyway. It is just my journey, we all have one.
I am beginning to feel a wee bit guilty at getting personal help here but maybe what is being posted is generic enough for others to gain as well. I hope so.
And thanks heaps again, grego

Posted by: eleganteloquent at June 16, 2008 12:13 PM

eleganteloquent at June 16, 2008 9:55 AM

Lynda, you have raised an intersesting point. I have been surprised that judging by the blogs so few people are having success. Of course this could be more an indicator that blogs are used by the unsuccessful. The ones that have found partners are too busiily occupied.

Timewarp has put up his stats which were not too encouraging although he did prove persistance does pay off.

I started on RSVP end November 2006. A check of the spreadsheet I kept indicates I had contact with 51 females. Either I kissed them or they kissed me. Email communiaction with 8 telecalls with 2 coffee meet with 1 who is now my live in partner.

Of the original 51 contacts 21 are no longer on RSVP or profile is hidden. Some of those I know gave up in disgust. My guess is about half achieved some partner.

At a guess I believe 20% is the probable
succes rate. Either I was incredibly lucky or incredibly clever. I prefer to consider I was clever and lucky as I obtained a partner within 9 weeks.

But I was very rational about it. I actually wrote a marketing plan for myself. Really tightened the targeting to what would be realistically achievable and what would work ( I figured it was better to keep the dream of the 5"9" super intelligent tertiery educated 30 year old Venus figure blue eyed blonde just that... in my dreams)

But hey, guess what I got very close to the dream just plus 25 years and a few extra curves. And here is a hint... after the 3rd or 4th date have a look at your dates wedding album. Instantly, the 55 year old turns into that dream girl. And the image stays in your mind.

So, Lynda, you probably have 1 chance in 5 of it all coming together. The way I see it you have a couple of disadvantages. 1 You are fabulously good looking. Probably will scare away a few guys and attract the turkeys. 2. You are very intelligent. Plain scary for a lot of men.But as I have said on these blogs before the brain is the sexiest organ.So you have massive sex appeal.

But my targetting and going hunting yourself you may have a lot of fun. Dont wait for kisses, just send them out to a short list 4 or 5 a week. By the way you are a class act so your geographic targetting should be Australia wide although you will have to be wary of the married guys pretending to be single.

I believe email in extended email communication before meeting. a lot of people disagree with me but if you after anyone with at least half a brain they should be able to write nicely. Emailing gives you a chance to find out a lot about a person which is good for when you finally meet with them.

rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at June 16, 2008 11:43 AM

I don't mind the Peter Pans so much, there is nothing wrong with wanting to stay youthful (notice I said youthful and not young) I myself would age most disgracefully if I could afford to do so! But I'm afraid I am unfamiliar with the "Hooray Henrys"....... are they at least fun??

Posted by: mystiemuse at June 16, 2008 11:36 AM

well gals..

I don't like your chances ..too many peter pan's and hooray henry's running amok out there..

and too many other 'stereotypes' to watch out for..and

they've discovered the secret..their IS life after divorce!

whether their ready to enjoy it with you..is another story..

aw c'mon guys..where's your sense of humour:)

nw

Posted by: naturalwoman08 at June 16, 2008 11:27 AM

After browsing the Top 100 for the last week, (males 48 +) I have noticed that there are hardly any from SA. I also checked out la femmes 48+ and found minimal numbers there also. Come on all - this is no place to be shy. I know it's just a bit of fun but it's embarrasing not to have SA members. ,
PS: Love all the posts, and the names are brilliant. My Fav. is The Lynath Diaries (as someone remarked - they should be on ABC)
Thanks
Margie18

Posted by: margie18 at June 16, 2008 11:13 AM

Posted by: cutesmile52 at June 16, 2008 1:46 AM

yeah..why is it nearly always the tastiest
and cheapest places to eat are cockroach magnets..(don't answer that question)! lol

used to have a fave leb restaurant in adelaide that had the best and cheapest food but you could sense that the cockroaches were helping out in the kitchen!

ugh!

unfortunately adelaide seems devoid of boho type cool cafe's (in the 'burbs) ?? otherwise i'd be sitting there right now writing up my essays instead of at home:(

and let's not even mention melbourne's uber cool cafe's..the choices! ohhhh

ah well..back to writing up essays and journals
cya nw x

Posted by: naturalwoman08 at June 16, 2008 10:09 AM

I think we all have different ideas of what a "relationship" is to us and I myself, think everyone is entitled to their way of thinking. True romance rarely happens the way it does in the movies, (even though I keep trying to imagine it into existence) although we do have to kiss a few frogs, to find our "true love"...... *snigger*
My ideal relationship at this point in time is a monogamous, companion, who I can share my experiences with, be that verbally, textually or in person. Someone to spend weekends with and someone who understands that my life, has complications that only I can deal with. I wil be their support and companion whenever they need/want it and understand their need for space, like my own.
Is that really such a difficult ask? I am interested in others opinions...... :-)

Posted by: mystiemuse at June 16, 2008 10:08 AM

Everybody is telling me be patient because "it will happen", well isn't this waiting, not knowing, all part of the 'relationship process'? The to-ing and fro-ing of whether to just give up and call it a day, the frustration of getting hopes up and going on yet another date that goes nowhere, the wondering "what is wrong with me?" Relationships seem to be more about this than about the 'casual, affairs, long-term, commitment phobias', etc. Let's face it, there is a lot of time just getting nowhere and keeping pushing a boulder up a hill just to watch it fall down again...and all with the uncertainty that it may never come to any fruition. There is no guarantee that I will ever have a long-term relationship again, and that's the cold, hard truth of it. So all this dating hell is part of the process as well isn't it? I wonder how many people out there in the big wide world have gone through all this, had enough of it and just decided to call it a day and opt out??? Maybe that is why the male-female ratio is so poor, maybe there are heaps of males out there who just decided they haver had enough and have chosen to drop out of the scene. Maybe we females are such incurable romantics and that is why we are still going, hence the imbalance in numbers (population is pretty equal, widowing is pretty equal, divorce means two back on the scene, so technically the numbers should be even but they are something like 7 to 1 in my age bracket aren't they, ie, rsvp-ers 7 females for 1 male?). Do we need a 'lonely hearts club' discussion with regard to relationships?
What's peoples reactions to this point of view? I would love to hear.

Posted by: eleganteloquent at June 16, 2008 9:55 AM

TW@2.55a.m.
First up "ol fella" I'm neither Harpic blue like dame Edna,nor any other shade what you see is all pure ME :-)
And what is age but a series of numbers and a state of mind...........guess that's why I'm still a bit of a larrikin rather than a philosopher.I'm happy for you that your Ms Rite enuff is still stroking your ego amongst other delights.

As for moi waiting co dependently for a fella to "find" me.......I'm wondering if said fellas ever check out their RSVP kisses.You talk about gals not responding..the same applies to the blokes :-( Seems to me that maybe the men of my age group feel threatened if the female makes the first move
I've already had one male comment that I didnt "bite" as hard as he expected....... maybe I need a new persona and back story.........

Posted by: kurli at June 16, 2008 8:51 AM

As far as I know, around the 22nd is the real start of winter, not half way through. The days start getting longer, but the warm weather doessnt really start till about 22nd Sept, same as Hot weather kicking in about Christmas time.

I think its the shops that try and tell us seasons start on the first day of the month.

Posted by: virgil at June 16, 2008 8:20 AM

Timewarp - It is so lovely to read about your connection with your special lady. I smile when I read your posts. It's like being a teenager again and so it should be.

Have a great week all. Midwinter this week. Don't you love that? I do.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at June 16, 2008 7:02 AM

Hi all. At a haiku workshop half the day, mainly soliciting poems to print in our monthly anthology 'The Mozzie" of which I'm the circulation manager.

Then the magnet claimed me, till evening tennis on the way home after dinner. Only just read through the last day of this blog.

istj54 at 9.45am: "TW should we now be listing our whitegoods on our profiles as possible assets?"

Depends if you're into barter. Soon after my divorce I started mowing the lawn of a series of women one after the other. No, Firelight - not "cutting their grass" - in exchange for a use of their washing machine, and some mending and/or ironing, then a baked Sunday lunch and chat, when we'd finished the work.

Perth at 10.11am: Scriptwriter writes your back-story for you, before your debut/deboo. Otherwise you could forget it and contradict yourself, and we'd wonder if you were already having senior moments at your age.

And I've already got a washing machine under the house. Belongs to the landlord. I've hidden it away in the back corner, and a tabletop covers the laundry tubs - an extra workbench for my home business.

While my clothes are washing, I want to be socialising far away, or at least zooming round Coles next door to my local one. Not be stuck home - with a home business, I'm there too much already. Just a foible.

kurli at 11.40am: Getting familiar again ma'am? That's not the first time you've called me "old". I just had another look at your profile, and you're only a couple of years younger than my birth certificate claimsthat I am, Ms Blue Rinse.

eleganteloquent at 12:17pm: If I may speak already for Ms Definitely-Right-Enuff (she's a bit to shy to blog yet for herself) then in the terminology of "When Harry Met Sally"
perhaps you're really saying "I'll have what she's having".

Late this afternoon it was an hour or so carpet-footed dancing very slowly to Mantovani etc, still with our germy faces averted (nose to ear is safe) just before she made our vegetarian stir-fry and I zoomed out to 24 games of non-stop tennis on my way home here.

Take heart, EE. It can happen. And we're the proof.

kurli at 1.22pm: Don't lose heart just because RSVP hasn't delivered you "declarations of undying unconditional love" after a few months and a few dates with fellers you didn't click with.

You've got a heap of sass. (And don't I know it.) Hang in there and try sending out some kisses yourself, instead of just waiting co-dependently for fellers to make all the moves. A girl never knows what their actual moves might be, but you sound as if you've been around, so I guess you could handle them.

Just don't risk inviting them home during the first date, as my darling did to me. If I wasn't a gentleman of the old school (with old school tie to prove it), she would have been taking a risk. Some fellers would be guessing or at least hoping that the invitation wasn't just to keep talking and save the cost of a bought meal. (She's retired.)

And when I got home after tennis tonight, there was a very romantic email from her. She's a darling - sorry - that's my darling, as of now.

abckenny at 2.34: Not with me, mate, I had 150-odd first dates with anyone who sounded at all possible, and would meet me.

Most people don't go to enough self-analysis/ trouble to tell you much at all in their profiles, so It's a bit of a lucky dip.

But if you don't dip, how can you get lucky? As I was just telling Ms Blue Rinse.

Perth at 3.36pm: Just explained about the washing machine (AND AREN'T YOU A DEAR TO REMEMBER ITS STORY FROM MONTHS AGO) [sticking shift key] but I agree with you about the fridge. I've still got the bigger one we bought in 1974 when our third child was on the way. It was too daggy for Joan when she moved out in 1993, so she left it and bought a flash new one.

pussycatmiaow: Your light is bright. Why are you hiding it under a bushell?

marcus at 4.30pm: Miaou to you too. She's an alpha among alphas. And gorgeous. Which is an enormous disadvantage to a gal. Even without the Geordie accent.

They immediately frighten off all but the most intelligent, charismatic and dynamic men (the kind they deserve.) And there aren't many of those around that some enterprising quality-conscious chick hasn't snaffled already. She'll be as hard to match as I was.

Lookit the time! Takes me so long to wind down after some serious tennis. Seeyezall.

Posted by: timewarp1 at June 16, 2008 2:55 AM

little coffee shops in newtown, glebe (badde manors cheapie otto not so cheap) and surry hills (especially in winter with a warm fire) just sold coffee and cakes...might have sold wine too...not sure...also not sure on the hygience standard in those days 80s/maybe early 90s when ive been known to squeal at a coachroach make its way across my leg at a such coffee shop in newtown which isnt there anymore...

Posted by: cutesmile52 at June 16, 2008 1:46 AM

Pussycatclone, I understand there is a copyright on Paige Parker's Dating Without Drama :)

Posted by: riversong01 at June 15, 2008 10:38 PM

I remember when I lived in Sydney many years ago we used to go to our local laundromat and sit and watch the television and take food and drinks. It was a real social session even rining around to see what time people were going to be there. Another place I lived in Sydney, we used to pop out clothes in the machines and then meet down at the local pub while they were washing. A lot of people met in the laundromat, it was sort of like an accepted pick up spot.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 15, 2008 8:55 PM

Hey Gem, I'm not ripping the victim. I simply suggested psych treatment to be able to get her back on track. You have a heart problem, you see a heart surgeon, you have psych problems you see a psych. Isn't that the way it works. Far too many children are hurt badly because people are trying to be amateur psychs, I mean how long does it take for someone to throw a punch. Anyway, I have said my bit, I believe the woman needs help to sort out her problems, professional help that is. Over and out of here, it's crazy.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 15, 2008 8:53 PM

As a single man in my 20s my wifes mother told me to bring my washing to her place, and it would be returned on a future date.

Whe my marriage broke up, the washing machine went with my ex, but her mum had an old one, for me.

That lasted a few years, then I bopught one for $80 out of the newspaper, the owners brought it over to my house, installed it and balanced it. A few years later, the same machine was trucked across the Nullubor, and is working fine.

No fringe benefits attached tho, go well TW.

Posted by: virgil at June 15, 2008 8:38 PM

Pussycm@ 4pm!

I think you have summed up what the topic Relationships was hoping to see discussed.
Like any consumer,one needs to research the products on offer,plus have a fairly objective "list" of what one requires from said product.
Surely then it follows that more than one date is necessary to determine whether the "product" matches requirements of the individual "shopping".

I don't see that as a casual or flaky liason,just fully investigating :-)
As several have already said (and here I'm trying to steer clear of sexist comment) sometimes chemistry is evident from the get-go;in other instances a good steady relationship requires input from both people involved and hey it may not be a relationship 'made in heaven 'as M&B ;Whingeing day,and No Idea try to ram down gullible romantic throats,but it shows eventually the proof that two mature people are happy to work together to forge a lasting relationship committment based on mutual respect...amongst other things!
I'm no Rhodes Scholar (wrong sex) but I know what I hope for,and am realistic enough to accept that maybe no one will measure up to my dream list...........but I hopefully will enjoy the research.
bon nuit!
kurli

Posted by: kurli at June 15, 2008 8:28 PM

laundromat. nothing seems to have changed there...

Posted by: cutesmile52 at June 15, 2008 1:55 PM

hi there cutesmile..

oh yes..I know the laundromat is still there..wonder how many 'relationships' have formed between the dirty and clean linen cycles!! and survived through many more evolutions..heehee..
but I don't think the 'pudding shop' is still there?
last time I was down or is it up..the point road I noticed it looked unoccupied?..so sad if it is true..maybe they should put one next to 'badde manors'..mmm
such an institution by now as well..

cheers nw..

Posted by: naturalwoman08 at June 15, 2008 6:38 PM

laundromat. nothing seems to have changed there...

Posted by: cutesmile52 at June 15, 2008 1:55 PM

hi there cutesmile..

oh yes..I know the laundromat is still there..wonder how many 'relationships' have formed between the dirty and clean linen cycles!! and survived through many more evolutions..heehee..
but I don't think the 'pudding shop' is still there?
the last time I was in wonderful sydney town down glebe point road way I noticed it looked unoccupied?..so sad if it is true..maybe they should put one next to 'badde manors'..yum
such an institution by now as well..

cheers nw..

Posted by: naturalwoman08 at June 15, 2008 6:33 PM

I think it would be nicer to be relatively happy and at peace with a couple of pets, whether they be geriatric or not than to be with someone who for whatever reason drives you nuts. I am looking forward to retiring one day and being able to cruise around Australia a bit and follow the sun. It's nice to meet new people who actually do things and like to chat about past experiences etc. I won't go alone but whether it be with a partner or a good friend that is yet to be decided, whichever it is, I am determined it will be a really good experience.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 15, 2008 6:20 PM

Posted by: abckenny at June 15, 2008 2:34 PM ..In the real world the attraction comes first.

not necessarily abc..I met a wonderful man a very long time ago who I wasn't at all attracted to in that zap..pow sense..the attraction was his nature..we began as friends and eventually I fell in love with his genuine kind and gentle spirit not to mention other wonderful qualities..and was fortunate to spend many wonderful happy and interesting years together..

sometimes 'attraction' is in the eye of the beholder..

nw cheers

Posted by: naturalwoman08 at June 15, 2008 6:07 PM

egotisticalelephant at June 15, 2008 3:05 PM

You might go better with real men, rather than deaf/blind dogs, if you let a bit of the pressure out of your pachydermically proportioned ego hun.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 15, 2008 4:30 PM

You are luckier than me Perth. I don't get to meet people long enough to know they are nice and 'get to know them as friends'. That's just how it is for me...still think the geriatric cats is the way to go for me, though....or the deaf and nearly blind geriatric male, maybe it's the sound of my voice that is doing it...Hmmm...Lancashire accent...it may be...LOL

Posted by: eleganteloquent at June 15, 2008 4:13 PM

Reading these blogs over the past few days I am amused/alarmed at the expected behaviour from individuals using such a service..especially all the comments about players and dating only one at a time etc. Surely by the mature age of 40 + you would think that people had a clue..but I fear not ! Could this be that the internet5 is a relatively new way to meet and mate, or is the simple fact that we are all so different. I personally would not want to date a guy from the get go exclusively ..too much pressure for me..but I am prepared to keep an open mind. For a guy to write off a woman afterb one date, because she is dating other men is ludicrous and quite needy. Vice versa for both sexes.
Even though people have only been using the Web
to date online for about 10 years, women and men have been struggling
with feelings of insecurity since the beginning of time.

But now that we have the truly awesome technology of the
Internet, we have the ability to be our own online private eye,
tracking every movement. Seeing when he/she logs in and
out. Monitoring their profile. Checking out all the other people
who are checking them out.

All this information is enough to drive a person CRAZY!

And it WILL if you're not careful...

Remember back in the day before the Internet and online
profiles? In that simpler time, here's how the beginning
of the relationship might go:

SCENARIO 1

1. You'd meet a cute guy, say, at the gym. He'd ask for
your number.

2. He'd call you and ask you out on a date.

3. You'd go on the date and have a fabulous evening.

4. He'd call you a day or two later to tell you he
had a wonderful time and ask you to go out again.

5. You'd think, "Wow, this guy really likes me," and
be excited at the prospect that he might be
"relationship material."

But NOW, things are a little different. Here's how
an almost IDENTICAL scenario could play out thanks to
all of the technology we now have at our fingertips:

SCENARIO 2

1. You meet a cute guy, say, at the gym. He asks for
your number.

2. You immediately Google him and check out his MySpace
profile. If his pictures are good and the stuff he's
written in his profile is smart and funny, you then
anxiously await his call.

3. He calls you and ask you out on a date.

4. You go on the date and have a fabulous evening.

5. He calls you a day or two later (you let it go to
voice mail). His message says he had a wonderful
time and would love to take you out again on Friday.
You text him back: "wld luv 2. c u fri."

6. You find yourself falling for him and hoping that he's
not seeing other women. To ensure that he's not, you then
begin the process of stalking him online to see what his
profile status is (will he change it to "in a
relationship"???) and what the girls look like who are
posting comments to his site.

If you don't like the looks of his online behavior, you
get threatened, frustrated and/or angry and write him
off before he has a chance to hurt you.
You know the saying
'Ignorance is bliss?' Well, EMBRACE THE BLISS.

That means STOP checking up on him /her online.

If you have just started dating, in my humble
opinion, you both SHOULD be dating other people until you've
spent enough time together to know for sure that you have
what it takes to meet one another's needs.

I think all parties should be keeping their options open before
a relationship gets serious

Then if - after you've dated awhile longer and decided together
that you want to become exclusive - you discover that he still
has his profiles online, you have every right to say something.

That doesn't mean stalking him online and then accusing him
of being out with this one or that one behind your back...
It means having a calm, rational adult conversation along the
lines of, 'Now that we are in a committed relationship I think
our online profiles should reflect that, don't you?'

He can't argue with that! (And if he does, well, he's
definitely not boyfriend material!)

IN THE MEANTIME, consider another saying: 'Actions speak
louder than words.

I
In other words, you convinced yourself that he was too good
to be true, and then you set out to prove yourself right by
monitoring his behavior online.

Even the strongest connection cannot grow into a healthy
relationship without trust. And trust is a tricky thing
to learn how to master, especially because it's not always
about just having faith in the other person's intentions.

I think a huge component of trust is having enough confidence
in yourself to BELIEVE that you DESERVE to be treated well
and to be loved unconditionally.

This confidence can only come from within you, and it's not
something that necessarily comes easily. It takes work. Id them out yet I highly
recommend that you do.

Once you truly embrace the fact that you are a phenomenal
woman who deserves a man in her life who will recognize
all your amazing qualities and will do everything in his power
to keep you in his life, you won't be quite so shocked when
you meet a guy who actually DOES!

Trust, then, won't be such a tough feat after all.

Posted by: pussycatmieow at June 15, 2008 4:00 PM

EE maybe if you have been on a first date with someone they are waiting for you to suggest something for a second date. I know if I have been taken out to dinner I then usually cook dinner at home next time. Sort of guage how things went the first date. Went to the movies the other night and it was very cold and blowy outside so we caught an early movie and came back home to hot soup and crusty bread, it was good fun. Had a couple of wines with it and talked about the movie and anything else.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 15, 2008 3:51 PM

ciao kurli..

in that scene..it was the fictitious 'ideal' person declaring undying unconditional love..oops..I'm being sexist..

actually..is sexism still alive and multiplying out there..should stereotyping reinvent itself (as it appears to still confuse and cause angst) to form less of an generalization and more of a balanced benchmark to understanding boundaries and making them more acceptable to both genders?..

have the 'rules' changed in the dating game..are the boundaries of equality clear to both parties?..unfortunately..I think not..do we think at all? something to think about discussing and respecting as part of the getting-to know-you process??

was a bit miffed with a 'gentleman' about stereotyped behaviour recently..why? am thinking about it..

any feminist or menimist attacks? ..unfortunately..matches are not made in heaven or (rsvp) :)) and we have to work at gettng it right..but it's a lazy society and a disposable one for some? right?

anyway..

strange what one thinks about when doing the laundry??

mwah nw

Posted by: naturalwoman08 at June 15, 2008 3:39 PM

I still don't understand why TW never purchased a washing machine. He says his wife ran with the one they owned but that was years ago. A washing machine is one appliance I could not live without and a fridge of course.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 15, 2008 3:36 PM

Elegant, I think there are so many nice people on this site, I have met quite a few and a few have become very good friends. But, is that the person who is really going to come into your life and you are going to spend most of your time with, share your home or his, share decision making etc., etc. I think that is the hard part. I haven't met the one I feel safe enough to share everything with as yet. I am sure it will happen one day but until that time when I feel really comfortable the status quo will stay as it is.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 15, 2008 3:07 PM

Thanks Perth and nw, bringers of hope and pragmatics! Yes, we all want to be off here don't we, but with the right person, trying to make it work...wish I could get to a second date! I think geriatric cats sound the go...my geriatric poodle is already deaf and nearly blind so she tolerates me lol...maybe that's what I need a deaf, blind, geriatric male who might just want to go beyond the first meeting....someone just told me i am too intelligent, and the solution is....???? lobotomies aren't given on medicare. So I would love to contribute more to a relationships debate but not sure that serial one date interactions really mean i have the necessary experience at this stage of my life....ah well, take my geriatric dog for a walk instead I guess ;)

Posted by: eleganteloquent at June 15, 2008 3:05 PM

E&E @12.17pm Dream on..the reality is that this is not a car yard where you keep adding on the accessories ..to your preferred model until it satisfies your desires or blows your budget.Chemistry doesn't work like that.In the real world the attraction comes first.Here it seems you need to fulfill the wish list before you even progress to the interview.

Posted by: abckenny at June 15, 2008 2:34 PM

aaah..elegant lynda..

your longings are palpable..keep dreaming..I am sure it will happen one day..

maybe at a laundrette?

nw x

Posted by: naturalwoman08 at June 15, 2008 2:04 PM

i know the one you mean natural...when i first came to india in 1973/74 i stayed at the motel at the side of the laundromat and did my laundry at that laundromat. nothing seems to have changed there...

Posted by: cutesmile52 at June 15, 2008 1:55 PM

E&E @12.17pm:

Like you I yearn for ( dare I say) a significant other to share quality time.......

WHY ELSE WOULD I BE HERE????

Unfortunately my reality is delivering neither declarations of undying unconditional love......or anything else.
The last "interesting" man proved to be less than interesting on a second date........I live in hope.........:-)

Ciao, Kurli

p.s. I have two geriatric cats that give unstinted affection,maybe I should quilt whilst I'm ahead.

Posted by: kurli at June 15, 2008 1:22 PM

bonjour everyone!..

hope you all had a simply lovely saturday..croissants and champagne by the beach..scented foot massages by your 'ideal' person..followed by proposals of undying unconditional love..oh well..back to reality:)

anything interesting to divulge apart from TW's marathon laundromat rendevous with fringe benefits! oohh..you lucky boy:) (and girl)!

I remember a 'beautiful laundrette' in sydney's inner west that I frequented that was right next door to a delicious elegant original 'olde worlde' bakery (very parisian) with olde worlde assistants called 'the pudding shop' such an exquisite atmospheric place with food and latte's to match..yum..aaaah..take away laundry with style..

speaking of which..must go to my solitary laundry with no fringe benefits :(

have a positive day everyone! (and perth) you should really go to that sailing club..be greedy for life..what is cold and rain..just a minor hiccup (don't let it rain on your parade)..

nw x

Posted by: naturalwoman08 at June 15, 2008 12:20 PM

Does anyone else on this blog still dream about having a real, ongoing, truly emotionally intimate relationship? It's Sunday, cold but sunny, and I am listening to the Notting Hill cd and wishing that I never had to come on rsvp again because I had found what I am looking for. Now is that really too much to want out of life? Why is it so unnattainable then? Am I doing things wrong or is this just how life goes? Relationships, wouldn't it be great to just be in one and be able to reflect on what it is, instead of one new date after another.... wish I could get past a second date with someone and actually move in to some quality time, you know, cuddle and all that. Sigh..... maybe I should get a cat to cuddle up to like you Perth ;)

Posted by: eleganteloquent at June 15, 2008 12:17 PM

UmmPerth Are you really that slow or just being your usual cynical self.Bill is obviously going across town to MS rightenuffs.and enjoying all his new found benefits.Why buy the book if you can go to the library with benefits?

Posted by: tallerthantom at June 15, 2008 11:56 AM

istj @9.45am and ianminperth@10.12am today

Maybe someone should tell ol' TW about Freecycle.com......... that way he could gain not only his own washing machine,but maybe someone to peg out his laundry also.

F/s takes on a new meaning: have own whitegoods.

BTW Briz today is gloriously sunny and coolish. :-)

Posted by: kurli at June 15, 2008 11:50 AM