RSVP Blog

This was a major dating mistake.
wasting 10 weeks on and off chasing that Russian in Sydney.
I wrote her off and sent her a self help book only to get a reply to day that said she thought I was phsyically attractive to her but she was not compatable with me because she wanted to wine and dine a bit more and continue frustrating me with home movies of her frolicking in a bikini on the baltic with her drug addicted boyfriend.
No wonder she did not want to be touched by me and I wondered why she washed all the time,insisted on blood tests and reminded me that her drug addicted ex boyfriend had to take ant biotics before every encounter with her.
Am i missing something here or is this woman got something loose?

Posted by: jogalonga at July 8, 2008 2:24 PM

Amber the irony of the situation is this.
While the let's wait brigade are thinking about it the let's find out brigade are into it.
In the end both groups are back on this site ?
What has been accomplished?
Well, one group have been sitting there with their legs crossed thinking they are preserving something for some one they have not met yet,the other group are out there rolling around with naked bodies experience what they are looking for and hoping that it will turn out.
i take the latter thankyou.
Nothing ventured nothing gained and after all what are you loosing?
Something you have already lost i would say.
After all how many times this year are you going to experience the closeness of exploration.
Thanks for correcting the spelling mistakes, I left my dictionary in the car with the English translator.
Right now I am thinking Red, as the cold wind and rain move in across the catchement area, I will be drinking by myself but that's ok I will take my chances on the weekend unless someone on the blogs decides to make me a better offer.

Posted by: jogalonga at July 8, 2008 2:17 PM

amberlight58 at 12:08: Yes and no. If I was really in a hurry, I'd probably have settled for one of the 20-odd Ms Not-quite-right-enuffs among the 150+ RSVP women that I've first-dated so far. Another one tomorrow.

"when BOTH people are ready, not when one decides to set the agenda!"

Amber, I believe the two people will rarely ever be ready at precisely the same moment.

My own experience has been that 'she' has usually been the one who was ready first to get back to basics, and I've thought "Well, I've already checked carefully enough and she's a lovely enough person, so why not? And if she wants it to be now, why not now?"

I say "A good idea doesn't care who has it, as long as nobody torpedoes it." So I'm predisposed to go along with good ideas, no matter who had them first.

"Perhaps the best idea is to be true to yourself and live the life YOU feel comfortable with."

Agreed. Several women who were already my very good friends decided at various times after months or years to suddenly suggest that we head for the cot. But I didn't fancy them, so I always said Thanks very much, but no thanks. And they vanished in a puff of smoke. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned ... Lost some dear friends. Pity that women are like that. Why is it, girls?

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 8, 2008 2:14 PM

Kurli,
Happy Birthday for today. Hope it's a bit warmer up there, than it is down here in "sunny" South Australia! Brrr.....Freezing!

Posted by: amberlight58 at July 8, 2008 1:56 PM

There is no timetable, no schedule to events, but commonsense tells you when you are wasting your time and you could be out pursuing a prospective partner who does want you for your body , your sense of the ridiculess and the never ending flow of coffeee in the morning and wine in the evening.

Posted by: jogalonga at July 8, 2008 11:07 AM

Hey jogalonga,
Sounds like what many of us are looking for!
Except I'm not keen on hangovers, so an endless supply of wine in the evenings.....
However, sadly I am not blessed with a strong sense of the ridiculous. One thing I have always admired and found wonderful in others, but have not been blessed with myself! (I seem to have inherited "serious" genes!)

But this post sounds quite contradictory to your posts of July 7 @ 12:58 PM and 11:19 PM and then 10:57 AM today!!

Is today's post @ 11: 07 really the "authentic" you? Or are the other 3 posts the "real" you?
Or aren't you really sure?

Posted by: amberlight58 at July 8, 2008 1:07 PM

You don't know how soon you'll all four be ready for the road test, if ever, but once you all are, why delay further?
Posted by: timewarp1 at July 8, 2008 11:21 AM

Exactly Timewarp, when BOTH people are ready, not when one decides to set the agenda!
Maybe I can understand your haste TW, you are 20 or more years older than most of these blokes and no one knows what lies around the corner.
But for a bloke in his 40s or 50s?
And despite Marcus' haste to "try quickly before he decides" he doesn't appear to have been much more successful than the rest of us!
Still single, still on RSVP.

Perhaps the best idea is to be true to yourself and live the lifeYOU feel comfortable with.
You may not find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, but at least you'll have been honest and true to yourself.
And just maybe you'll meet someone who really likes that about you.
And if you don't, so what?
When I've spoken to to older people, both men and women, it's the periods in their lives when they weren't true to themselves and what they really valued, that they regret the most.

Posted by: amberlight58 at July 8, 2008 12:08 PM

jogalonga at 11:07am: "..a prospective partner who does want you for your body , your sense of the ridiculous and the never ending flow of coffeee in the morning and wine in the evening."

Waiter: I'll have what he's having, please. With Scrabble on the side.

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 8, 2008 11:59 AM

Perth today @ 07:01 AM;
What a great story and quite relevant really to this topic!
And at 07:07 AM:
Well said. So if you don't meet some bloke's agenda by the required time, it's see ya later.
Well I agree with you Perth; good luck and have a happy life fella!

Many of us (and I'm not saying this is you Perth) have already spent years in relationships where our lives were controlled by someone else's agenda and wants. Having children, although we love them dearly, meant that we often had to put our lives and dreams "on hold", while our partners had all the outside interests that they wanted, and weren't too bloody concerned about our hopes and dreams at all. And then had the hide to criticise us because we didn't measure up to their standards!

Some of us then made the very painful decision, after years of being taken for granted, to leave so we could have the opportunity to live the rest of our our lives as WE wanted.

Why on earth would any woman want to be with a bloke who had the same sort of attitude as her previous partner's?
That his needs and wants are more important than hers?
I agree Perth, not exactly the beginnings of a truly caring and respectful relationship!
Which is what any woman who has truly learned to finally respect and care about herself, is looking for!

Posted by: amberlight58 at July 8, 2008 11:46 AM

Actually Lancelot pinched Gwenevere from Arthur and Arthur found out and wanted to punish her even though he was still in love with her.
Then Lancelot felt guilty about his affair and wept because he had destroyed his friendship with Arthur and was determined to return to France and Join a monastry..
meanwhile Gwenevere was not feeling any guilt she just loved the idea of the affair and it was not till she found out Arthur knew about it that she felt some remorse and became a Nun.

It then so happened that without realising it ,Lancelot and Gwenevere had joined the same religious order, and so continued their affair under the sanctions of the church and had many little monks and lived happy ever after.

I know this is true as I have seen the movie 3 times.

Posted by: jogalonga at July 8, 2008 11:26 AM

...
signed Mr Impatient

Posted by: jogalonga at July 7, 2008 12:58 PM

try

"It's okay for us to go slow"

Say it and mean it. (and it often leads to the reverse-psychology phenomenon: She'll want to jump you by the time you finish the sentence)

It builds trust and reassures a woman that you care more about her than about the sex.

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at July 8, 2008 11:24 AM

Perth at 7.07am: "What happened to getting to know the person for who they really are?"

I see four Ages of dating

1) Teenagers who are only looking for a partner to share a good time tonight/ this weekend, until they get sick of one another and want to try out/ go steady with another fun partner.

A stage of experimenting, while they discover who and what they are, and like. Not yet a search for The One. (In most cases.)

In my day, this stage lasted for about 3 to 5 years after you left full-time education at whatever age, but from the blogs, I've learned that this pre-adult stage now lasts for many people till their early to mid 30s. (And for Players, all their life. Hey, that's what makes them Players!)

2) Finding a breeding partner. This is the stage you're talking about, Perth. You're looking for someone useful, reliable and kind for the long haul - preferebly at least for 20 to 30 years, till the kids are off your hands - and for life if you're lucky.

Unselfishness and self-control are very important in a stressed marriage (and all marriages are stressful now and then.) So you delay the sex. Good sex is very good glue, and you don't want it to cloud your appraisal of the other factors which are even more important for selection at THIS stage in your life.

3) Recycled singledom: Back to case No. 1. You're looking for a friend and activity partner again, but you're wiser now, and know from bitter experience what you don't want any more of. So you're more picky.

But you also know what you DO want next time, and at this moment I'm with you Marcus. You do want worthwhile sex, in amongst those other activities that the girls listed yesterday.

>>>So at this stage in life (at least), the road test becomes an important part of the actual selection process, rather than the final reward for passing all the other exams.

So important that it sometimes becomes a relatively early part of the selection process.

But not the only part of the evaluation, which I see as a spiral. (Teachers: cf. spiral curriculum)

There are a number of characteristics you're looking for. For me they include unselfishness, intelligence, conversational skills, flexibility and playfulness. And a serious interest in the cot.

So you spend some talking time together, to let you check these out, several times around in ever-increasing detail. I won't waste my time on meeting someone who won't pre-commit at least 2 hours to a first date, based only on reading my profile. Not fair dinkum enough to be my match, so no date at all.

As they talk, you check them out against your criteria, while the liittle chap checks them out against his criteria. (Or the little girl does, if that's what you've got down there.)

And if you both want to see more of the person, you ask for a second date.

You don't know how soon you'll all four be ready for the road test, if ever, but once you all are, why delay further?

A disastrously bad road test (or a significant failure anywhere else) is just one of the things that can influence you to say "This one is not for me. Next!" Just as a very good road test, like any other delightful shared experience, will suggest that this one may be the one for me.

4) Finding a partner for the sunset years: Preferably already done at step 2 above. Failing that, at step 3. Otherwise, write your perfect partner profile specifically for this stage, (enjoys wheelchair racing?) and go looking again.

And good luck looking, youall, whatever stage you're at.

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 8, 2008 11:21 AM

back on the topic of dating.
I received an email reply last night and i thought this funny another Chinese, wonderful looking woman as they all are, but I thought hmmm does she want to meet,I do, she lives in Sydney,sounds promising.
After a number of emails back and forth the penny dropped.

It was the word Skype that sent shivers up my spine.
I wrote back, sorry, i don't do Skype,how about we just meet,you do live in Sydney right?

Email comes back..OOOOHHHH.......me so busy must go ....naswer you queries tomorrow.
I write back Excuse Me !!! it's Monday night !!!

Posted by: jogalonga at July 8, 2008 11:13 AM

perthy what are you waiting for .......a bus!!!!!
How contradictive are women.
In one breath they tell you there must be chemistry and sparks flying from the first date which means to a man that she will bed him in a matter of days not months.
And then you get the neuter gender, they want a gentleman , wined and dined,endless cups of tea in the kitchen while talking about disgusting men and women and their disgusting habits.
Then to decide after all this ,that well ,maybe, I don't think we are compatable...hmmm........mind you this usually occurs about the time when the guy says how. about it !!! enoughs enough.

There is no timetable, no schedule to events, but commonsense tells you when you are wasting your time and you could be out pursuing a prospective partner who does want you for your body , your sense of the ridiculess and the never ending flow of coffeee in the morning and wine in the evening.

Posted by: jogalonga at July 8, 2008 11:07 AM

I would like to address some of the comments.

Timewarp , sir, you are spot on,
Ice queens,Frigid Bridgets,Neuter genders, I have to agree.
I would rather find out early in the relationship whether we are physically compatable rather than let it drag on for 3 months and find out she is physically revolting in bed.

Posted by: jogalonga at July 8, 2008 10:57 AM

Perth @ 701am.. Gotta love it girl.. .."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at July 8, 2008 10:27 AM

Poochesinperth.
I think women's partner needs are far simpler than men's and can be boiled down (but not like cabbage) to wanting one attribute from a man: reliability.

Tassiedude
I was trying (still) to extract some information on 'courtship' to coitus time from the determindly blonde kisskat who seems to have decided that blogging with me could be a bit risky.
Misrule put her hand up to answer. She seems to have a certain schoolteacherly wantoness about her and was quite happy to oblige with "one and a half dates" which would probably place her on between the entree and maincourse at any decent eatery.

Chris, I do the photo one too for blind profiles and the Shares your thirst for knowledge' when there is nothing in the 'reading' or 'other interests' The 'Would love to hear about your adventures' is a good ever so slightly leery one to use as a reply on the girls when you are a bit pissy because an otherwise suitable prospect tells you to go jump.
Warped. I met a girl pre RSVP who made me do the full hoops and chairs bit for 3 months; she was Maltese so this was completely unexpected. She was educated but still a strange mixture of pagan Catholocism and weird New Ageness with a ticking biological clock. She insisted on growing a large kumbytcha (sp?) fungus culture in a jar of cold tea in my fridge. This eaten daily would ward off or cure almost any ill.
Anyway after the 3 months probation (and a health check) she determined to make up for lost time. Apart from a depilated pudenda which I had reservations about things were satisfactory and sh was avid. She had a stock reply to my questions about contraception which she had undertaken to take care of. It was "I know my body" so in other words Vatican roulette. This grated slightly especially when there was no discussion about the Yeah, you know your body, but what if? After we broke her gf said candidly 'Oh yes she wanted your baby'
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 8, 2008 10:24 AM

Kurli! HAPPY 70TH!!

hope you've already cracked the special fizz and enjoying the liquid benefits...!!!
,
-- ;-._,(,)
--!- o==

have the bestest day!

love and air kisses mwah! mwah! nw x

Posted by: naturalwoman08 at July 8, 2008 10:13 AM

Perth@ 7.01/07.
wonderful story, followed by wonderful advice, seems that the desperates have their ambitions mixed up with reality, or their own infalibility.
Thank you.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at July 8, 2008 8:57 AM

Very funny, Perth! Great story. LOL.

Posted by: waterbombe at July 8, 2008 8:53 AM

What I find rather funny is all these rules and regulations people seem to have.....sex after three dates, like bingo, three dates, let's do it, huh ! guys go off and find someone else to fill in if that doesn't happen, well okay so keep going, don't forget to close the door behind you. Seems quite ridiculous to me, you meet a guy and look at him and say within three dates I will be bedding you, is that not predatory behaviour or borne out of desperation to control. Whatever it is, I would think not a very healthy way to start any kind of relationship. What happened to getting to know the person for who they really are not this silly facade.

Posted by: iaminperth at July 8, 2008 7:07 AM

Subject: King Arthur and the Witch

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question?...What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered...is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?

Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now....what is the moral to this story?

Scroll down

The moral is.....

If you don't let a woman have her own way...

Things are going to get ugly

Only joking guys..........hmmmmm?

Posted by: iaminperth at July 8, 2008 7:01 AM

Marcus at 10:50pm: Very interesting comment about those girls who make a bloke wait some predetermined specified period before they'll come across - if he's still around by then.

I think it's a hangover from a previous age - theirs and/or society's.

1) Maybe they think it will prove he loves them for themselves, rather than hanging round only for whatever 'benefits' he can harvest.

That forgets my favourite definition of a gentleman - a wolf with patience. (Dorothy Parker)

2) It frightens off the do-and-dump serial Players. Right on there, Marcus. But I'd guess by date 3, not date 6 and counting.

3) And it shows in the meantime whether he's any use for shared car-washing etc, and whether he's good company across the kitchen table - all that other stuff that you girls were just explaining you want as part of the deal. (Me too, and for me it happens to be the biggie.)

4) Finally, it proves she's an ice queen, and not just a hottie who is as keen to get it together with the right bloke, as he is to get it together with her.

That sets her up to use sex as a bargaining tool later - a rationed reward, earned by obeying her outside the bedroom.
...............................................................

All those ideas seem to me to be much more relevant to pre-breeding courtships in the 1950s or earlier, than to us recycled singles now, often post-menopausal, and if not, paying strict attention to modern contraception.

I'm a bit slower off the mark than missrule, but my several full-spectrum relationships since my divorce all got there by date 3, as it happened.

Because that was one of their two ultimate purposes, for both of us. So we got around to the road test, as soon as we decided that we liked the other person, approved of them, and enjoyed their platonic company in the kitchen. Why not, at our age?

Otherwise why bother with date No. 2, unless you're only looking for a friend?

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 8, 2008 12:24 AM

Marcus,
I have in the past sent a "thinks you have a great photo" to people who do not supply their passwords Of course they don't or rarely 'get it ' at which stage I decide they have no sense of yumour either , along with the no manners which allowed them to omit the password in the first place, when they can see me!

Posted by: thelynathdiary at July 8, 2008 12:20 AM

Marcus I am pretty sure Missrule said three weeks not three months.
Mind you I have and I would wait for however long it took. And OMG how great would it be then:)
Sometimes the anticipation can be more overwhelming than the action itself.

Posted by: tassiedude1 at July 8, 2008 12:17 AM

TW, you flatter me far beyond what I deserve, but I too was raised well and so I'll simply say "thank you, kind Sir".

Marcus, I have no desire to know what qualifies for a vote in the Golden Speculum awards, be it best and fairest, best actor, or best in a supporting role... suffice to say, I would be happy to lose on each and every count as long as my test result is negative!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at July 7, 2008 11:38 PM

laughsand shouts you know men so well it is frightening,make that 3 dates, err weeks ,although I did perservere once for 8 dates but it turned out they weren't dates they were counselling sessions.
It actually made me remember a nurse i used to see occassionally over a year,she went back to her ex after 3 years of not speaking to him and then she told me i was her best friend.

I didn't know that is what women called lovers these days.

Posted by: jogalonga at July 7, 2008 11:19 PM

vicdownunder,why is it that the pussy....i mean the cat always makes an appearance in photos?
I always have this funny notion that cats are safe but when a woman shows photos of her dogs or horses my mind runs riot.
Oh sorry to, I am out of your price range,I guess I will just have to stick with younger sydinites or who knows i might eventually get to go to the Langham,............agin.

Posted by: jogalonga at July 7, 2008 11:13 PM

missrule at 10:18pm: You are hilarious! Write to us a lot! Please!

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 7, 2008 11:03 PM

missrule at July 7, 2008 10:18 PM
Haha Speculum. The medicos who use that instrument have a Golden Speculum award.
Good grief. VDU will be frowning. I knew a bloke with a sense of humour who instead of a barbers chair for his beer den had an antique gynaecologists chair.
Now, about your answer to the question about sex I didn't ask you. You are sounding promising, err pragmatic. Good grief. These girls who think making the bloke wait 3 months is clever or necessary. Any self respecting fella will be double dating after about 6 weeks of that worthiness testing.

Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 7, 2008 10:50 PM

Hi all, just shuffled into the sandpit to see who's still playing. Yay, no one seems to be throwing sand. Shock, horror.. Is this for real???
Maybe I'll have a bit of a read after all.
Kurli, happy birthday to you....
Cheers...."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at July 7, 2008 10:49 PM

missrule at 9:32 PM: Thanks for putting words in my mind. You were right of course. I had just replied to VDU, then saw your post.
Speaking of F-words, flesh is one that my mum happily used, usually in snippets of King James bible language like "sins of the ..." and "the flesh was weak, and the mind was willing ..."
She was quite a girl. Stodgy bible-bashing father, brothers who quoted Cicero in latin round the dairy-farm kitchen table, and she had to go nursing in Sydney in her late 20s, so as to be fed during the Depression.
Told me in my teens that when she met Dad he said "Lucy! A lady doesn't use words like that!" so she thought "If I'm going to land this one, I'd better clean up my act." So she did, and she did.

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 7, 2008 10:46 PM

VDU at 9:00 PM: Come in spinner! I'd first written "I met you in the flesh in Melb." Which is how my mum would have put it. Then I remembered how absolutely delectable you are physically, and made a little change ....
And I call you "young" to remind myself that you are - about 30 years too young for me, dammit.
Now we'll see who's first to call me a DOM. Life's an adventure.

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 7, 2008 10:25 PM

Marcus, you asked: "How do you decide when you will consumate an 'evolving' relationship?" Yes, I know you didn't ask me but I'm gonna reply anyway and you can't stop me, ner ner ner ner ner ... sorry, regressing rapidly, must be the schoolyard atmosphere :D
*slaps self round chops* Right. Well, I don't have any rules set in stone on when to "consummate" a relationship - it has always happened when both of us felt we were ready. I repeat, BOTH, not just him and not just me - and by "ready" on my part, I don't mean "feeling forced into it by emotional blackmail or whatever other devious means he may employ to get his rocks off".
In my experience you both know when the time is right and then you, er, go with the flow (blushes and giggles coyly). I have had my evil way with a man after one and a half dates (and it lasted over a year ... no, I do not mean the sex lasted over a year, not even John and Yoko managed that, I mean the relationship did). At the other end of the spectrum (speculum? sorry, ladies) my current beau has been waiting three weeks so far, and he hasn't run off yet (hello, dear, you still there? helloooo?)

Posted by: missrule at July 7, 2008 10:18 PM

Jog, I actually find your scenario appealing as I also want my space within a relationship, though I wouldn't expect any man to foot the bills while I have "my" money for fripperies. I always gave my last partner "wind down" time after work and was more than happy for him to watch the motorbikes on Foxtel on a Sunday night... that left me to do what I wanted!!
Missrule, you're far more perceptive than I... the F word had never entered my mind, but it does make sense - thank you!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at July 7, 2008 9:54 PM

Jogger - what a good thing I'm taken or I'd have such a struggle deciding between you and Marcus (nose gets longer)
Thanks Victoria! - I think Bill meant "delectable flesh" but he's probably too much of a gentleman to mention the "f" word.

Posted by: missrule at July 7, 2008 9:32 PM

kisskat, the blogs are confusing at the best of the times... it's an evolving forum, I suppose, and that's just how things seem to have "evolved" - no rights or wrongs, but some of us have been around since almost the beginning, and worked out how to say "hi" that didn't necessarily mean being in contact! Hope you have fun blogging anyway :)

Posted by: malsie at July 7, 2008 9:23 PM

The old 'shares your love of the written word' kiss response is the one you send when you find a profile with nothing in the reading box and generally lacking nous.
cheers Marcus.

Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 7, 2008 9:01 PM

Bill, thank you for calling me "young" but what on earth did you mean about meeting me in the "delectable"?? The delectable restaurant we dined in the night of the Melbourne meet, or the delectable footpath where we all gathered for a chat with the smokers?? I was there and I was confused... I'd hate fellow bloggers to think there was more to our meeting!!
Missrule, I have similar aspirations to yours @ 8.10 and just loved your last paragraph - well said my friend!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at July 7, 2008 9:00 PM

hell missrule a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do.
After the consumation I will wash, clean,cook and do the shopping just like any other self respecting man would do,and care for the chidren even though their not mine , and include them in my will!!1
i will then ask my wife to stay at work so we don't get bored with each other and that all the money she earns is her's and she is to use it to buying clothes and shoes for hertself.In return i will pay for the groceries and all costs.
In return she has to leave me alone at least for a few hours and not get the poos when i stay up to watch the Tour de France, although I will make a consession and come to bed on demand as long as I can get up later to watch the telly without her taking it personally.
Is that too much to ask????
When i said this to a date the other night she said that I was a very unusual man , different from most men,slightly insane and over caring and to good to be true.
misrule you will never find out any details until you put your profile up.
tit fot tat so to speak.

Posted by: jogalonga at July 7, 2008 9:00 PM

re: Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 7, 2008 8:13 PM

what sort of question is that?

Posted by: kisskat at July 7, 2008 8:46 PM

missrule - hello kiss back to you :)

Posted by: malsie at July 7, 2008 8:27 PM

kisskat at July 7, 2008 6:52 PM
How do you decide when you will consumate an 'evolving' relationship?
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 7, 2008 8:13 PM

re: Posted by: malsie at July 7, 2008 6:59 PM

malsie, nothing like complicating the whole thing even more! lol.
i have only started blogging in the last few weeks so was unaware there is a "kissing code" amongst bloggers....? it is nice if you want to acknowledge each other, but not everyone here is aware of how it works.
one regular blogger sent me a kiss recently and i didnt know what the intention behind it was, and i declined the kiss. for all i know this person now considers me rude for the manner in which i replied?

Posted by: kisskat at July 7, 2008 8:13 PM

How old are you, jogalonga, where from ...? (Of course I will defend to the death your right to refuse to reply to that question :D )

Posted by: missrule at July 7, 2008 8:12 PM

laughs and shouts.
That actually made a lot of sense and I really did not know why i thought like this.
Now that you have put it in a see through wrapper it is making a lot of sense,hell, I think this is the only way to go,bugger spending precious weeks wasting my time on under performing femmes.
i want a real woman, one that can experience what I feel.

Posted by: jogalonga at July 7, 2008 8:11 PM

Jogger - "No man is an island, entire of itself ... any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."
Humans are social animals: we are not meant to live alone. What most of us "girls" (in my age-group anyway) want is a rounded, fulfilling relationship, a friend and companion to grow old with - yes, to share great sex with but also to share the grocery shopping, dog-walking and car-washing too. Is it too much to believe that there are men who want the same?
If you really just want to get laid, there are thousands of sites and agencies that will be only too pleased to relieve you of your cash (and possibly other bits as well).

Posted by: missrule at July 7, 2008 8:10 PM

thespritelyjet at 6:53 PM: Reckon I read your reason in your single short post, without even having to read between the lines. Tsk tsk.

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 7, 2008 8:08 PM

re: Posted by: longrein at July 7, 2008 7:42 PM
i have written in my ideal partner section what i am seeking. attraction to the person is part of that deal (but thats a relative thing) so if i am attracted to the pics & see they may have the other qualities i want as well, that determines how i reply to kisses. (and for the record this kiss topic was really raised in relation to blog kissers and how those kisses are to be interpreted).
by "same page" i was referring to what he & i are seeking. im saying i am only looking at considering something long term with the right person. if someone is only looking for short term, how is that going to work?

Posted by: kisskat at July 7, 2008 8:06 PM

Ah ha ah..don't go on a date..good one..you are right...we are single because now that we are over the hill we decide all of a sudden to be choosey.
Why weren't we like this when the hormones were running wild,
The guys only wanted to get laid and the girls wanted to have babies.
Now the guys only want to get laid and the girls don't know what they want now that they are past their breeding date....fascinating isn't it.??

Posted by: jogalonga at July 7, 2008 7:58 PM

Awwww, spritely, that's really sad. There seem to be so many bucketfuls of cynicism and fatality sloshing around on here. I know we've all been damaged in some way - many of us badly - by our previous experiences but surely we need to carry on believing there is still someone out there for us, or why join this site? Isn't such negativity in danger of becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Posted by: missrule at July 7, 2008 7:51 PM

Kisskat, how do you know if you are on the same page if you have not met the person... is it all on looks ?? What criteria do you employ in deciding to respond to a kiss or meet ???

Posted by: longrein at July 7, 2008 7:42 PM

dansing, way back at 7.36pm on July 5: Finally getting back to you saying "why is it that just about every man on here wants "thin, athletic, fit, outdoorsey" type of girls?
What about slightly overweight girls who are just as capable of loving?
Does anyone else out there agree that they are all dreaming?"
I certainly agree with you. Completely. So I invite you to go out and prove it:
At your local servo, grab a copy of 'Picture' or any other commercial periodical male-market stickbook, and check out the build of the pin-up girls who've been carefully chosen from experience, because they'll persuade your average bloke that it's worth his money to be able to take them home to the comfortable privacy of his outhouse. Pretty solid, most of those heifers.
I believe that there are 2 kinds of men who say they want slim athletic girls:
* Actual sexual athletes, who want an athletic woman to share marathon workouts with them, ie. to use her fitness,
and
* Unathletic unattractive slobs who fantasise about having someone unavailably slimly beautiful to DISPLAY on their arm, mainly to make their loser peers jealous.
The rest of us actually prefer a woman with some womanly curves, and aren't afraid to say so. My own preference for women aged over 50 is about size 114C-16D over 16-18, like my 2 lovers about 6-8 years ago. I'm not skinny myself, and I'm most comfortable with something near my match.

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 7, 2008 7:42 PM

On hols and just having a quick read and I see,
Have a great birthday Kurli...and many more the same to you!

Posted by: waterbombe at July 7, 2008 7:18 PM

kisskat, it seems to have been the "norm" in the "blogging kissing" world to reply to a "kiss" with a kiss of your own, rather than a reply (although sometimes instead people have sent emails to begin friendship, having liked what they've read on the blogs and feeling some kind of connection to the person).

Posted by: malsie at July 7, 2008 6:59 PM

Thanks malsie - I might send you a "hello" kiss ... oh darn it, I don't have a visible profile ;)
Marcus ... oh, my dear boy ... have no more to add.

Posted by: missrule at July 7, 2008 6:58 PM

hi and thanks willow:)
I just popped in to wish kurli a happy birthday...the last time I called in..it seemed that every available machiavellian fruitloop that wasn't strapped down..was on the loose from an already over burdened cyber physco ward...if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I would have sworn it was an audition for a post humous/humorous fellini film noir ..I am sure fellini was turning in his grave ..gleefully rubbing his hands...and perplexed as to who were to be the successful recipients of exclusive parts in the movie....so much competition!! lol God..it was really ugly in here...I sincerely hope that an ironic machiavellian concept.. that good can sometimes come from evil be the case here... anyway.. enough..peace and
love to all who are capable of receiving it
bye for now ... mwah!.. nw

Posted by: naturalwoman08 at July 7, 2008 6:58 PM

The only 'dating mistake' is in my opinion going on one. If u enjoy being judged & your a big fan of repetitive, predictable questions your gonna have a great time indeed. If your 'thing' is being labelled by people or disliked instantly for having the wrong shoelaces or not being cliche enough...then your certainly in for a treat thats for sure!
It never occurs to us...we are all single for a reason.

Posted by: thespritelyjet at July 7, 2008 6:53 PM

re: Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 7, 2008 3:34 PM

ok im reading these blogs in the wrong order. laughsandtalks, the reason i have only chosen "long term" is because i am not interested in anything short term nor do i want more friends or pen pals. having said that, that certainly doesnt infer that i want or expect to jump into a relationship straight away. my intention (if i was to meet the "right" person for me) is to take things slowly, let it progress/evolve and go from there. but if we are not on the same page at the beginning, potentially someone's gonna get hurt.

Posted by: kisskat at July 7, 2008 6:52 PM

misrule at July 7, 2008 3:22 PM

"I wanted to push the events a bit faster" - why? I would take a look at your own motives.

Misrule. Man's motivation is to get down to the sexual part asap. Jogadonga may find that after sex this woman is no longer attractive to him and he doesn't want to waste time on this.No need to try and feminise a man's sexuality. This male behaviour is helpful for the woman too. She wouldn't want to create a sham thinking they were building a nest pre coitus. Of course he also runs the risk that she will fly and all his effort and possibility will be unrealised. Hmm
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 7, 2008 6:47 PM

how are you meant to respond to a kiss from a fellow blogger then? if you say yes, and they send an email even though you dont want one, youve prompted them to waste a stamp. if you say no thanks, how is that interpreted?
if there is a code for sending the kiss, what is the code for replying?
KISS supposedly stands for keep it simple s...........but all of a sudden its got so complicated! lol

Posted by: kisskat at July 7, 2008 6:37 PM

missrule @ 4.47 pm

Agree totally with those sentiments. When I had a partner for a while I closed my profile but continued blogging here as on the whole I enjoy it and have friends here. Having a partner shouldn't preclude you from discussing things in this forum, I don't think, and neither should visible profiles be mandatory. I do like to get an idea of the bloggers that are writing, but it's not essential. As we all know, there are a few that aren't even genuine profiles anyway - so that use is a bit dubious at times.

I'm glad you are contributing. I enjoy your comments :)

Posted by: malsie at July 7, 2008 6:33 PM

jogalonga at 4:28: Sounds like the little chap is telling you what to write as well as what to do.

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 7, 2008 6:19 PM

Interesting comments..... enjoy reading through them.........will watch with interest and my own thouhgts.

Posted by: longrein at July 7, 2008 5:54 PM

missrule at 4:50pm: I heard that rumour too. Let's make it official!

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 7, 2008 5:42 PM

Ouch jogger. Some (understatement) unresolved issues there! "Too much ventured, nothing gained" would fit the bill better methinks.

Posted by: missrule at July 7, 2008 5:40 PM

hi and thanks willow:)
I just popped in to wish kurli a happy birthday!...

love to all who are capable of receiving it...

bye for now ... mwah.. nw

Posted by: naturalwoman08 at July 7, 2008 5:38 PM

Willow, I thought I'd read somewhere that bloggers send each other the "...shares your love of the written word" kiss to say hello? I could be wrong though.

Posted by: missrule at July 7, 2008 4:50 PM

By the way, if anyone cares, I am female, 51, divorced, 3 kids, one dog, live on the mid-north coast of NSW and now have a partner (not through RSVP), which is why my profile is not visible. I don't believe any of the foregoing disqualifies me from offering my experiences, opinions or advice - at least I can't see anything in the RSVP rules that indicate it might. The other messageboards/blogs I subscribe to don't even have a profile facility. If you want to know who someone is and where they're from, you just ask. They may or may not be telling the truth when they reply but the same applies on here - anyone can create a profile.

I might add that there are some contributors to this blog with visible profiles who have posted some of the vilest personal attacks I have read anywhere on the net. Okay, I did add it. Just my two cents' worth.

Posted by: missrule at July 7, 2008 4:47 PM

Thanks missrule my motives are hell bent on sex and debauchary and a happy life with her ever after, I just can't wait till I am dead or 10 years down the track to see what happens and I am not sure that maybe she could be a player.
In the back of my mind i thought nothing ventured nothing gained and if I did scare her off then I would be emotionally free to move on without investing my heart into the relationship and have it destroyed in a couple of weeks.

Posted by: jogalonga at July 7, 2008 4:28 PM

kurli at 2:17pm: OK, no more endorsements. Not even back-handed ones.

Mine at 11.13am was only to explain to young VDU (who's even nicer than I am - believe me, I've met her in the delectable ....) why I hold absolutely no malice towards you for tearing some strips off me now and then in the blogs, and some bigger ones ...(censored.)

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 7, 2008 4:27 PM

Posted by: jogalonga at July 7, 2008 12:58 PM

Mr Impatient,
Impatient for what?

Posted by: amberlight58 at July 7, 2008 4:01 PM

kisskat at July 7, 2008 8:01 AM
Fair enough kisskat. It may sound blinkered and limiting to men to be so definite and 'wanting' only long term. In my experience long relationships have to start somewhere; they are a process not an event that can be ordered, organised or decreed.
Perhaps you will have a long term relationship with RSVP like me.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 7, 2008 3:34 PM

Joga, I think you've answered yourself in the words you chose "I wanted to push the events...." meaning you knew she wasnt really up for it... and "she turned her head..." -her body language told you she wasn't receptive... then she told you she wasnt ready. You have your answer. If you aren't prepared to wait and she's not prepared to move on, you've got a conflict on your hands. You've already indicated you're keen, give her the time and space to reciprocate.

Posted by: willow29 at July 7, 2008 3:26 PM

Jog - I think "this person" has already given you more than enough clues about how she feels. She is trying to work out whether you are a player who is going to disappear and move onto his next target, whether she has sex with you sooner, later or not at all.

If you're not a player (and only you will know that), and if you really like her as a person and see any kind of a future with her, you should take the time and trouble to build a relationship with her - that is obviously what she wants. If it's not what you want, then you are incompatible, end of story.

"I wanted to push the events a bit faster" - why? I would take a look at your own motives.

Posted by: missrule at July 7, 2008 3:22 PM

NW08@11.51 am.
My little silver bubble on wheels sports a sticker:
"Life's a witch and then you FLY"
Pity youre so far away a broomstick derby could be fun......lots of nice bubbly in frig to wash away the soot afterwards.

TW1 @11.07 am:
PLEASE no more endorsements.....I'll have no mystery left& will need to re-invent myself

Posted by: kurli at July 7, 2008 2:17 PM

jennifer welcome to the club of the control freaks, this was 1000 words long by the way.

Posted by: jogalonga at July 7, 2008 1:45 PM

willow the etiquette apart from sending a not interested and wish you well in your search and do not contact me again is sometimes inappropriate when all we want to say is thanks for the kiss, write if you just want to be a penpal.
never say unmatched.you don't know till you have dated a few times.

reminds of this woman who met a doctor and tried to palm him off to a girlfriend ,6 months later the woman married the doctor and they were together until he passed away 5 years ago.

Posted by: jogalonga at July 7, 2008 1:38 PM

I wanted to push the events a bit faster.
i had dated this person twice before , this was the third time so i grabbed her hand on the walk to the restaurant,i then kissed her on the lips in the carpark, she moved her head to the side.
When home we sat on different chairs drinking tea.I then got sick of just looking at her beautiful face so i got up and planted one right on her lips.
Then i apologised saying i could not resist any longer.
Later after a hug and a peck her finger appeared between her lips and my lips .enough!!!

We parted i emailed gee I hope i didn't scare you off, the reply was, no you didn't ,but I would feel more comfortable if you slowed down.
We are meeting next Sunday, she is doing the cooking for lunch,

What do you think ?
Was this a mistake?
Do you think my move may have told her to hurry up and give me a clue about how you feel or I might disappear in a week or two.

signed Mr Impatient

Posted by: jogalonga at July 7, 2008 12:58 PM

LOL kurli!! .. love the imagery! ..can't quite see you as broomstick material :)

how about I whip my broomstick out ..been leaning around getting dusty lately..(a mary poppins cast off)....only sweeping up more years of my life:( ...another to be unceremoniously dumped on me this Friday!! ...merde!

and let's go a 'burn' ...I'll race you to the rooftops...fancy a nocturnal night of champagne..dancing and singing with the smokin' chimney sweeps .. nothing like a bit of soot to sort the boys from the men:)

anyway...happy birthday eve!! maaawah! nw

Posted by: naturalwoman08 at July 7, 2008 11:51 AM

Hi All, well being away from the blogs for a few days makes for a lot of catching up. Welcome back JH, Perth and NW and Happy Birthday to Kurli.

I went to Melbourne for a meeting on Friday and was hoping see if anyone wanted to meet up for coffee, but it was already 4pm Thursday when I found out I was going, so there was no chance to contact anyone and the blogs take ages to get through after lunch.
I did meet up with a "potential" though, who was very nice but looked so much like my brother in law I was totally put off.

Kisskat, re the kisses from bloggers, Im sorry, but I havent read the previous posts. I had assumed that if the kiss was from someone totally unmatched, it could be safely assumed that it was a friendly "hello!". The point where I was confused, was where someone that I quite fancied send me a kiss. What did that mean? Turned out I got my hopes up for nothing but it was still nice to be acknowledged. If anyone can direct me to the appropriate archive to trawl to find out the etiquette, I'd be most grateful!

Posted by: willow29 at July 7, 2008 11:46 AM

My wishes for a wonderful birthday tomorrow Kurli. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

Jen x

Posted by: jenniferhi at July 7, 2008 11:36 AM

VDU at 12.24am: "Bill - so gallant that you can wish Kurli well for her birthday"

Why the hell not? She's an excellent human being, and we even went out together for a few weeks, which I really enjoyed.

So what she's excitable and mercurial, and sometimes engages tongue before putting self-censorship mechanism into gear?

That's just who she is, and it doesn't bother me. I know they're spur-of-the-moment outbursts, and how good-hearted she really is, inside her clipper-clicking Cancerian exoskeleton.

7 hours since I knocked off $$ work last night, so must get back to it, and pass computer over to my book-keeper, who's just arrived. Seeyez all.

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 7, 2008 11:13 AM

junebaby57 at 7:22 AM: I'm sorry about last night and this morning.

Here's you back from hols in beautiful balmy-warm Brisvegas, hating to have to get up in the freezing Canberra dawn this morning to go back to work, and hoping to have a bit of something charming, illuminating or at least interesting to read from your blogmates before you left, to help you feel better about this little low-point in your life.

And what do you see? Me rabbiting on about some more of the minutiae of my life. Totally uninteresting to someone like you, especially at that particular dreary moment.

"Boring old fart!! Who gives a s*it about him and his life? I'll give him a proper dummy-spit, for disappointing me once too often with his trivia!"

So you did.

And I thank you ma'am for putting me to rights. Everyone deserves a steady diet of useful negative feedback, to keep them grounded in reality. Especially me, as you so truthfully said.

In the previous paregraph of the same post you were confessing that one of your greatest failings is to fill gaps in a conversation with words - any words - just to avoid a silence that you might suspect was awkward. Words so insignificant that you often don't remember later what they were.

I can see how your mind would have skipped from that realisation about yourself, straight to realising that I do it too. My dad used to say "Takes one to pick one."

Hope your mood improves when the Canberra day warms up a tiny bit.

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 7, 2008 10:56 AM

interestingencounter @ 1.16am...

"laughsandtalks 6 jul 7:01:
regarding being able to contact a non visible profile blogger (like me) - isn't the blog sufficient contact, out in the open, versus murky private emails that may collude against other bloggers behind the scenes?
Ihavn't even looked at your profile but base my understanding of you and others solely from what's written in the blog, which is actually more informative of what people are thinking versus the scripted profile.
If you personally want to know who I am: Male 53, Seperated, IT Manager, live in Brisbane. The picture is irrelevant unless you want to date me..."

IE..
.. and if someone, inspired by your posts, DID want to date you? ...how could they contact you if you have a hidden profile? 'Kiss' you publicly on the blog? I don't think the "out in the open" approach would appeal to many..

.. and why would you assume that private email contact between bloggers would be "murky".. or lead them to "collude" against other bloggers? I've made wonderful friends through this medium.. there needs be nothing murky or colluding about it.

Posted by: decoratress at July 7, 2008 10:53 AM

NW08@ 1.27am
Thanks for your good wishes,but tomorrow is actually the day!
And your day must be looming closer????

As for a bike pump---,I always carry a collapsible broomstick in my purse! VBG

Junebaby57..@ 7.27am.
Well said girl! :-)

Posted by: kurli at July 7, 2008 10:33 AM

Sunriselad 2/7/08 - 9.59pm (On long distant relationships blog). I think you sum up how a lot of people must feel about these blogs. Do hope you continue to post. We need more people like you around here.

Hey, and you do like writing, so please join in regularly.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at July 7, 2008 9:58 AM

Hey Spanky - I couldn't have restraint this time. I am getting so fed up with all the nastiness that spews from people here. Some people really need to take a deep journey within. I so believe that.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at July 7, 2008 9:48 AM

I was edited. First time ever I believe. hmmm.

Well I don't think what I said was anywhere near nasty/horrible/hurtful than what has been said many times on these blogs. So am going to say it again in a different way.

Re EE being called crass and insensitive. I think not! Crass! Come on. I think the person who wrote that and the rest of the post needs to have a damn good think about what she often posts to people. Now that is nasty! Have a look within!

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at July 7, 2008 9:12 AM

Posted by: jogalonga at July 6, 2008 1:26 PM I don't base the "quality" good on the persons gender.....I only base my comments on what I have read...and granted, this can be a mask for a persons true feelings/thoughts etc, but those who choose not to put down anyone with a contrary opinion do deserve some credit.....at the very least for having restraint.....yes my opinion

Posted by: spanky668 at July 7, 2008 8:46 AM

laughandtalks, (re my last post) perhaps you were referring more to the email response than the kiss...?

speaking personally i dont really want to have offline contact with bloggers. it is nothing personal, it is just not what i am seeking from rsvp. as my profile ideal partner specifies "long term relationship with a male", i take any kisses to mean the person wants to contact me for that purpose.

as discussed many times on the blogs previously, the kisses & replies dont lend themselves to initiating friend only type contact on rsvp. so i can only assume when i get a kiss from someone, it is not about acknowledgment as a blogger (albeit an intermittent one) but to show interest in me as a potential partner.

Posted by: kisskat at July 7, 2008 8:01 AM

kisskat at July 7, 2008 6:38 AM
You might glean a lot if it was inviting your later email. No response from a fellow blogger could be highly diagnostic under certain circumstances. You would not want to rush to the colum inch defence of a fellow blogster who later turned out to be a transvestite apparition would you? It has happened here. Then again you might not give a rats.
Blogging from a contactable visible profile is a courtesy and a measure of accountability and ownership of comment and opinions.
It also helps stop things descending to malign farce and worse when blog anarchists perpetrate set ups.
Interestingencounter.
You might just enhance your enjoyment or otherwise get some additional insight into a person by reading their profile. Sometimes t obscure and murky comment can become clear when related to their personal blurb.
-----------------------------------------------------
The universe is huge. If it were as big as the earth, on the same scale our solar system which is 3.7 billion miles across, would be one millionth of a meter wide; the size of a small bacteria.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 7, 2008 7:55 AM

Dating mistakes, I think that everyone makes them�..mine is to possibly talk to much if it goes quiet, so I jump in and chat�quite possibly have blonde moments cause I don�t really remember what I chat about!!!!!! I just think that if the conversation dies I need to do something about it.

TW....you give us way too much info about the minute/daily detail of your life....way too much. This is a public dating blog!!

If you want to talk in such detail about your life, open up your own private blog site, or join facebook, Myspace or keep a personal diary.

We do not need to know about your $$$, working habits, laundry habits, and buying a roast chicken!!!! No one else talks about their money on the blogs that I can remember, and I have been blogging since July last year!!!!
No one needs to know how poor or well off a person is until they are talking serious dating, with each other, not the rest of us in blog land!

Keep something secret/private, so that when you meet someone, they will have heaps to find out about you.

One of the reasons that you and Kurli broke up, sooo publicly on the blogs, was all the details you put into the blogs........just my thoughts!!

Now you will probably not listen to this and take offence, but I believe that someone needs to tell you this stuff.......if you choose to snap back at me, that is your choice.....but take note as it is true.

Have a lovely day all ...jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at July 7, 2008 7:22 AM

Back to Snowy River country today. Maybe I can run into that gorgeous guy (whose got a profile on site) who has some connection to the region up there. I can dream! Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at July 7, 2008 7:20 AM

re: laughsandtalks at July 6, 2008 11:30 PM

i am not sure i understand the significance of a kiss response in relation to bloggers....what is it that you can glean about a person from a kiss response?

Posted by: kisskat at July 7, 2008 6:38 AM

laughsandtalks at July 7, 2008 12:12 AM: I still think it's sweet that you two were talking about me behind my back, Marcus.

That's done me even more good than tonight's excellent 28 games of tennis, and winning my service once, to love. They're all younger and fitter, so I really have to work hard at my game all the time.

PS: Ellida, I'm really impressed that you clocked on for a few minutes about midnight, to process the late-evening batch. Thank you from me at least. I've just had a qiuick bedtime look myself, after doing about 4 hours' $$ work since then. Bed now, till I clock back on at 9am. Or earlier, if a customer phones me in my sleep.

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 7, 2008 3:53 AM

kurli...

slipping in a belated 'Happy Birthday' from me....here's to Flying High next week!!!...just remember to take your bicycle pump (incase of in-flight emergencies) :)....

love and hugs to you...mwah!.. nw

Posted by: naturalwoman08 at July 7, 2008 1:27 AM

laughsandtalks 6 jul 7:01:
regarding being able to contact a non visible profile blogger (like me) - isn't the blog sufficient contact, out in the open, versus murky private emails that may collude against other bloggers behind the scenes?
I havn't even looked at your profile but base my understanding of you and others solely from what's written in the blog, which is actually more informative of what people are thinking versus the scripted profile.
If you personally want to know who I am: Male 53, Seperated, IT Manager, live in Brisbane. The picture is irrelevant unless you want to date me...

iaminperth 6 july 8:53
I had a date that was very well educated and did have all the degrees - and flaunted it too much. I didn't see this as a problem and in fact was very proud of having the opportunity to date such a person. The problem that killed it was: thinking people think too much and see problems that aren't there, but in relationships you need to feel. I wish they had a degree for that!

Posted by: interestingencounter at July 7, 2008 1:16 AM

Marcus, it's a red letter day (or night actually) on the RSVP blogs!!! You've posted another intelligent and reasoned comment, but without the need for any mention of anatomical components or bodily fluids... well done son - I knew you could do it!!!!

And Bill, you really are an old softie!! So gallant that you can wish Kurli well for her birthday, and I echo your sentiments - all the best Maureen, I only hope I'm as wonderful at 70!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at July 7, 2008 12:24 AM

timewarp1 at July 6, 2008 10:40 PM
She arrived at her assesment of your good looks completely independantly, and as far as I know, soberlytoo, old son
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 7, 2008 12:12 AM

kisskat at July 6, 2008 7:01 PM
The point about blogging with a visible profile is that it gives means to contact.
You can send a kiss or an email and probably decide what you need from the response to that. Most bloggers seem to happily acknowledge another.
When there is no profile it is much murkier.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 6, 2008 11:30 PM

kurli at 4:33 PM: I think the rain yesterday could have been a good thing for you. Lengthening your birthday season is letting you focus on one delight at a time, with time out in between to let you get your breath back, so you don't miss a thing. Enjoy!

And I hope your glider pilot can find a lot of good strong thermals next Saturday, even though it's winter.

PS: please apologise to Possum for my forgetting her name.

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 6, 2008 10:55 PM

Marcus at 3:04 PM: Thank you very much to your contact for those very kind words, and equally to you for passing them on.

BTW, why on earth were you both looking at my RSVP profile together?

I've been off RSViP for the last week and the next day or two till my cheque lands, so I can't research from this end.

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 6, 2008 10:40 PM

I really don't mind if a person doesn't have a visible profile and I can think of many reasons they don't but I would like to know if they are male or female. Sometimes it's hard to work out what they are saying unless you know if it is coming from the male or female perspective. Re the EE business I think anyone who went around shouting how smart they are and how many supposed degrees they obtained would have it shouted back right in their face which is exactly what happened here. Let's face it most people who are fairly well educated are not usually that crass and insensitive. I don't believe the assertions for a nanosecond. As for shoving it down someones throat and trying to score one upmanship on a first date is laughable and most educated people would think it a joke I think. I mean what are you trying to prove, except that you are a complete dork socially.

Posted by: iaminperth at July 6, 2008 8:53 PM

Marcus, the world indeeed gets smaller every day.............K

Posted by: auntykaz at July 6, 2008 8:50 PM

A major dating blunder is actually believing what someone writes in their profile about themselves.
When you meet and get into a few wines than all the little nastys start to crawl out and that is why i hate dating non drinkers

Posted by: jogalonga at July 6, 2008 8:18 PM

jenn, if there were no blogs and less nasty people there would be more visible profiles
you only need to look at other sites that do not have these ridiculess blogs, they have no where near the trouble that these blogs generate for members.

Posted by: jogalonga at July 6, 2008 8:16 PM

the other thing is if you have a look at the topic it ask's 'tell us your stories about dating blunders you have made or heard about'
i would say that the story I presented is a trail of dating blunders.

Posted by: jogalonga at July 6, 2008 8:15 PM

jenn, if there were no blogs and less nasty people there would be more visible profiles
you only need to look at other sites that do not have these ridiculess blogs, they have no where near the trouble that these blogs generate for members.

Posted by: jogalonga at July 6, 2008 8:09 PM

kisskat @ 7.01pm..

Exactly right..

Posted by: decoratress at July 6, 2008 7:49 PM

kisskat - I do get that of course. But a visable profile adds at least a bit of credibility in the most part I think. Gives us a bit of something to make our judgements by. Well I think anyway. Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at July 6, 2008 7:39 PM

kisscat you are so right,photos presented are often not those of the profile and when a photo is 10 yeasr old it is definately a misrepresentation.

Posted by: jogalonga at July 6, 2008 7:39 PM

having a visible profile is no guarantee someone is genuine. a few words and a pic, (which could be a pic of anyone really), doesnt ensure that the persona is real or that their intentions are good.

Posted by: kisskat at July 6, 2008 7:01 PM

jogalonga - 1.14 pm. What on earth are you tallking about here? Have I missed something, somewhere in the blogs re all that you are babbling about? And if it's such a yawn, why then concern yourself with it all?

Oh and by the way, a 24 year old is not a young girl (your words) she is a woman.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at July 6, 2008 6:57 PM

Oh Jennifer,there is nothing sinister about not reavealing your profile while blogging and to suggest that the real ones are those with a profile is some what na�ve.

Let me say this, and I can�t say too much, but there is a reason to the sometimes perceived madness and it has nothing to do with the fact that the profile cannot be viewed.

Posted by: jogalonga at July 6, 2008 6:48 PM

Yes Marcus, I guess we all live our own truth, and what we class as genuine maybe totally different to anothers genuine.

I have no problem whatsoever with EE commencing another profile. Good for her. What else was she to do?

She may have said in the heat of the moment that she was outta here for good. But when push comes to shove where else is there really to go. All the other sites just don't make the mark compared to RSVP. This still stands as the most reputable in my belief, and obviously a lot of others believe that as well.

I only wish her well, because I believe she was genuine and I enjoyed her posts very much.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at July 6, 2008 6:36 PM

jogalonga - 1.26pm. Yes lots of us are real. And hopefully the majority of us.

It's those with hidden profiles that are often the most questionable. hmmmmm.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at July 6, 2008 6:14 PM

A few weeks ago I was out at my sometime saturday night live music venue. You gotta love unpretentious corner pubs like this one that host good free music, have no pokies or cafe (and are still in the tiles-on-the-outside urinal style of architecture). As they say all walks of life congregate at watering holes, including bloggers. As I was elbowing my way to the bar I was tapped on the shoulder by a woman and regaled with a "You're Marcus from the blogs" in a pommy accent. Drink in hand she then fell about to my bemusement after I didn't deny this.
Introductions and a pleasant chat followed and she revealed herself as a regular blog reader and RSVP'er.
Last night we met again at the same place, and blogging was again topical (as was the delicacy of English skin; a mutual UK friend had managed to get herself sunburnt at the footy that arvo).
This sage observer (and occasional poster) reckoned that I was much nicer in appearance, behaviour and demeanour than my published persona. Now this happened after she bought me a drink ( lge diet coke, no ice, herself pot of beer) so make of it what you will. We then headed due north and she offered some words for Timewarp. Looking at his photo she said he has a nice look about him, a kind face.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at July 6, 2008 3:04 PM

Well it seems like a few people have left the blogs. That's disappointing. Surely ERAL hasn't gone too. He might have ruffled a few feathers but at least he was also fun and interesting.

Do agree with EE though that those truly hurtful/hateful bloggers do have karma coming back to them. It has to be! Just think how happy they must really be in their lives. Not very I'm guessing.

Spanky 11.46am. You are exactly right Spanky. And I certainly don't think you have an addled mind in any way. I think you have an excellent attitude to life.

Also sorry to see Grego go. I know you got me cross a while back there on something, but still I enjoyed your posts immensley.

I know who I'd like to see go but guess that won't be happening any time soon. Lol. Someone so many seem to like yet really if you watch the posts, says just as many hurtful things to people as positive things. Pretty sure she hurt Lynda too.

Gemsnbling July 1. 2.04pm - Couldn't agree more.

Now can everyone try and have a lovely weekend. Any fabulous dates happening? Let's hear about some of those.

I smile now thinking about a guy I was seeing for quite a while and our first meeting. We had chatted on-line or phone for many weeks before actually meeting. Then when we met it was instant chemistry. We simply couldn't stop grinning and looking away from each other. It was just too much looking into each others eyes for too long. All the weeks and weeks of chatting and talking somehow disappeared as we struggled to even talk. We were together at last. It all became too much so he grabbed my hand and said let's get out of here (it was a crowded restaurant) and go for a walk. As we got up to go, his chair went flying, so more embarassment. But too bad! We walked in the local park, found a seat and then got to talking like we had, and yes kissing on first date. It was wonderful! It was such a fun and fabulous relationship. And he is still so special to me.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at July 6, 2008 1:35 PM

dear addled mind of Spanky(quote) july 6 2008 11.46

Are these good people by your definition or opinion if so where do you get this from?

I can't place any credence in what is said here, it could be anybody,boys could be girls ,it could all be coming out of an institution
I mean to say,let's just treat what is said here with a grain of salt.

Posted by: jogalonga at July 6, 2008 1:26 PM

yawn....24 year old girl in relationship with 40 year old man.
Man still sees all his old girlfriends.
Tells young girl they are all friends and he loves to help them and socialise with them.
she moves in, they argue about all the girlfriends still hanging around, he then says to the young girl, how about I put you on a four week trial to see how it goes........two weeks later he kicks her out.
Does'nt sound like the full story to me but that is a big mistake,not so much a mistake, but using the fact that someone is infatuated with you to manipulate.
Similarly, mother is as confused as her , dates one guy for two weeks and then starts with an unsavoury character for 2 months ,the guy has sleeping buddies,women ,married ,singles, all part of a club,woman for some reason has her ex boyfriend of 5 years still on the scene and then for the second time calls it quits with him vowing that is the end, meanwhile unsavoury character is still hanging around trying to convince this woman to become part of the action.woman says no, but he is such a nice guy helping people all the time she remains friends with him,meanwhile she starts another relationship with the first guy she dated for two weeks.

Can somebody,anybody, decipher all this to me and explain what is actually happening?

Posted by: jogalonga at July 6, 2008 1:14 PM

Posted by: jenniferhi at July 5, 2008 10:25 PM Welcome back Jen.....Can't afford to lose all the good people on the blogs......just to add to what you said....I wonder how many would say the things they say, (in the relative anonymity of the blogs), if they were face to face with the person......if you wouldn't say in person.....how is it any better on here.....it might not seemso bad to you not having to see the "target" and your impact on them,,,but the person on the receiving end still gets the full impact........if cutting someone down floats your boat, then maybe take up some other hobby.......like........therapy?..........just another unsolicited thought from the addled mind of spanky....as always, take it or leave it.......

Posted by: spanky668 at July 6, 2008 11:46 AM

Oh no Jogalong, Just imagine sitting opposite a person and when they lift their coffee cup - hairy palms! oh dear, that could be a real talking point, definitely an ice breaker !!

Posted by: iaminperth at July 6, 2008 10:42 AM

Iaminperth, hair in the nose and yellow teeth are turnoffs.
i sit here with tweezers for hours pulling out hairs and those are only the ones on the palm of my hands.

Posted by: jogalonga at July 6, 2008 9:45 AM

iaiP @11.16pm.

Thank you for telling OG how to spell my name.........:-)

OG@10.01-----thanks for agreeing with me.

Jenhi@10.25pm.....we have also lost our "white knight" Greg07.Two very lovely people lost to us

Posted by: kurli at July 6, 2008 6:39 AM

The Old Robert at 10.01pm: Don't you dig gypsy violins, mate ?

eastofcbd at 8:23 PM: I envy cats who have nine lives. I wonder if they're simultaneous?

And BTW, how did the puppies taste? (5.54pm)

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 6, 2008 12:07 AM

kurli at 7:37 PM: Damn! Now I'm disappointed abount Woody Point twice over. But I guess cats never tell you when they're two-timing you. Nor did my first-ever girlfriend, back in 1956. Luckily for me, she went on to marry him.

And I'm not really a manipulator, you know. I just let the horse have its head, say Giddeup, and see where it takes us. Life's an adventure, as I always say, whereever fate leads you.

Hope you're enjoying the family celebrations this weekend for your 70th, Maureen. May you have many more, each even happier than the last.

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 5, 2008 11:51 PM

auntykaz at 8:18 PM: A lot worse than yuck, lass, if you're doing it and not just hearing about it..

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 5, 2008 11:31 PM

iaminperth at 8:25 PM : I suspect it was a hen, not a cock, blossom ....

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 5, 2008 11:28 PM

To be perfectly honest I think that most of us have a 'pet hate', whether it is rational or irrational it is there. My 'thing' is teeth and nose hair. If a guy doesn't have really clean teeth I just can;t seem to focus on much else. Other people weight is the main issue, whether it be over or under weight. I think we are all entitled to be ourselves and if someone feels that way so be it. I am overweight at the moment but seeing people with wobbly bits really worries me at times and I don;t particularly want to be squashed up to them. If a guy specifies thin, athletic, outdoorsy and he looks a complete drop kick well I suppose it's not going to happen. That's his problem not yours and surely you don't want to meet someone like that anyway. I have put a bit overweight in my profile and it certainly doesn't seem to have affected contact. I hope it just shows that I am honest.

Posted by: iaminperth at July 5, 2008 11:28 PM

Yes, Mulesy sad but true I think.

Posted by: iaminperth at July 5, 2008 11:18 PM

OG it's Kurli, not Karli and tongue is ue on the end....how many have you had tonight ??

Posted by: iaminperth at July 5, 2008 11:16 PM

dansing at July 5, 2008 7:36 PM .
Yes they are dreaming, but lets not wake them up. You see they are self proclaimed adonis's. They have this mirror that leads them to believe that they look and act 10 years younger than they are. It also tells them that they are attractive to beautiful, slim, sexy, intelligent, articulate women. In believing this mirror they miss out on meeting all the beautiful, curvy, sexy intelligent, articulate women. It airbrushes the ear hair, nose hair,

Posted by: eastofcbd at July 5, 2008 10:42 PM

Hi all, Just home for a couple of nights from holidays in the High Country. Had to come home - kid things to organise. But all good.
But just want to thank a couple of bloggers I heard were asking after me. Haven't read all the blogs yet to catch up but I got a lovely message from Princequillo. So thanks guys.

Now - In just the little I have read it seems we have lost EE. I'm so sorry to hear about that. What is it with you people who can be so unkind? How about thinking about what you put down in writing. Here was someone so interesting, humerous, and fun, and now she has gone. It was quite obvious she was a genuine person, had a lot to share and knowledge to impart. Now gone! Great, Fabulous. Hope all you who drove her away have a damn good think about yourselves and perhaps take a little more care in what you write to people.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at July 5, 2008 10:25 PM

QUOTE
why is it that just about every man on here want "thin, athletic, fit, outdoorsey "type of girls?
what about us slightly overweight girls who are just as capable of loving?
does anyone else out there agree that they are all dreaming?

Posted by: dansing at July 5, 2008 7:36 PM

I do not think I am delusional at all in wanting a slim/athletic/fit woman - why do I think this way - because birds of a feather flock together - and what you consider slightly overweight I may look at in a different light.

This is going to sound rude rather I would like to think it a direct honest non politically correct statement.

I don�t date large women. Sorry, all you �BBWs�; get a grip on reality. If you are walking around looking like you have a beer keg stuffed in your pants, it gives the impression you don�t care about yourself, so I really don�t expect you to care about me in the long run.

All the fancy clothes hair do's , makeup etc can not take away or detract from the weight issue,Don�t give me that talk about how happy you are with yourself, you�re not and we both know it. Don't give me that talk about it being a medical condition - as less than 10 % of obesity is caused by a medical/genetic pre-condition.

If you and I had fallen in love twenty years ago, gotten married and had a family and you had put on the weight, I would still be with you, but we didn�t and so I see no need to accommodate your lack of physical/health discipline.

A few years ago I looked like a beer barrel on legs - I did not like it about myself at all. I did not consider myself a BBM but rather one day I woke up and said to myself " you have turned into a overweight slob"

So I summoned the discipline and determination to do something about it rather than "woe is me"

Posted by: yaahmulegiddyup at July 5, 2008 10:07 PM

Karli.
Sweetness and Light usually works with a OooHhhMmm, but some times it is a HhhMmm, that is more effective.

Bill surely enough is enough, it is wearing a bit thin.

Karli is not the only one biting the tounge.

OG

Posted by: oldergent at July 5, 2008 10:01 PM

You know I was being a little silly previously but thinking again TW what about a bit of volunteer work at a cat or dog shelter. I know in WA there are a lot of retired people help out with their fundraising efforts etc and also answering telephones on a voluntary basis. Maybe that would be a good place to meet some people and maybe even some very nice widows who care about animals. It would be a social atmosphere, wouldn't cost you anything and could be a bit of fun. I do a day volunteering at a cat shelter here and it's great fun, everybody has a laugh. I answer the phone and enter data into their computer system and in between that direct people to the cat and kitten pens. Mine is thru the company I work for so it's a trade off but it's still good fun. Just a thought.

Posted by: iaminperth at July 5, 2008 8:51 PM

You know I was being a little silly previously but thinking again TW what about a bit of volunteer work at a cat or dog shelter. I know in WA there are a lot of retired people help out with their fundraising efforts etc and also answering telephones on a voluntary basis. Maybe that would be a good place to meet some people and maybe even some very nice widows who care about animals. It would be a social atmosphere, wouldn't cost you anything and could be a bit of fun. I do a day volunteering at a cat shelter here and it's great fun, everybody has a laugh. I answer the phone and enter data into their computer system and in between that direct people to the cat and kitten pens. Mine is thru the company I work for so it's a trade off but it's still good fun. Just a thought.

Posted by: iaminperth at July 5, 2008 8:51 PM

" I was just about to try to chisel them down to $6 when a woman reached in around me and grabbed it."....really TW and you told us that you were at Coles.......shame on you.

Posted by: iaminperth at July 5, 2008 8:25 PM

Thank you Mummie (nearly said mummy - freudian slip, eh?) at 7.21pm. You got me thinking.

I'm always short of a bob, and as WB reminded me recently, I also don't sit quite as close to the table as she does. (But I can sit further back in the seat ....)

Idea: Get paid to walk a dog to that cafe and back. Regularly. Same dog, so no need for dead dog tales ("We just had them, thank you very much Bill") What do you reckon?

Posted by: timewarp1 at July 5, 2008 8:24 PM

timewarp1 at July 5, 2008 7:00 PM, I believe it was a lovely cold, clear day in Melbourne. I am still in Brisbane, going to Bundaberg tomorrow and then flying to Melbourne on Thursday evening for my sons housewarming. Fortunately I only have to put up with the cold for 4 weeks cause i am housesitting in Broadbeach in August. Melbourne's weather should have picked up by then. Geez I love my