RSVP Blog

TW

Great to see you back, also now attached, I wasnt sure if your method would work for me, but as soon as I have my job & business situation sorted, I will look into that.

Posted by: virgil at June 5, 2008 10:09 AM

Decoratress

Happy birthday, I hope you get all the things you are hoping for today, and in the coming year.
Doug

Posted by: virgil at June 5, 2008 10:02 AM

Timewarp June 5 12:14 am Thank you for your kind words, pity I didn't discover the blog earlier, it seems you have many friends and well wishers here....usually a good sign of a persons contribution...would like to have been around for it....best of luck in your new relationship......

Posted by: spanky668 at June 5, 2008 8:56 AM

Happy birthday decoratress ..... have a good one.

Posted by: woodnwine at June 5, 2008 8:08 AM

Happy birthday Decoratress and all the other wonderful Gemini's who may be birthdaying this long weekend, out there in blogland...have a lovely day and may all your wishes come true...jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at June 5, 2008 7:46 AM

Now we gotta find OG one as well.................K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 4, 2008 5:59 PM

Song title by moving pictures???????????????????

W A M?

Morning Decoratres....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR "T",
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.....

HIP, HIP, HOORAH, ETC, ETC, ETC...

Have a humdinger girl... Catch you soon!! Cheers..."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at June 5, 2008 12:24 AM

YEPSIREEBOB DOUBLE FROM ME

Posted by: twoeyes at June 5, 2008 7:44 AM

Morning Decoratres....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR "T",
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.....

HIP, HIP, HOORAH, ETC, ETC, ETC...

Have a humdinger girl... Catch you soon!! Cheers..."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at June 5, 2008 12:24 AM

Hey Bill, fantastic news... Must be some lady!!!... All the very best and sincerely hope it works out for you... Cheers.."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at June 5, 2008 12:17 AM

Hi all, and thank you my friends for your congratulations and good wishes - especially ssshh, because I don't know you at all, so yours really warmed my heart.

troyohboy at 1:10 PM and oldergent at 2:43 PM: Fellers, you got me ROFLMBO.

Because I had just been comparing in my mind last night, having a discussion with Ms Rite-Enuff, where we combine an honest co-operative earnest search for consensus, with giving each other heaps, every time the smallest opportunity presents (Larrikin was No 1 in my perfect-partner criteria)

compared with discussing anything at all with WB. She taught me more in the week before last than I'd ever learned before, about how to defeat any argument without having to refute it.

Just attack your opponent: call a carefully-constructed fully-detailed argument too long and boring to bother with, and a light-hearted tease too smutty, and its author a 4-year-old dirty old man. (Best oxymoron yet, I reckon.)

And a number of other ways to undermine your opponent, without ever having to counter his argument. What men call going for the man instead of the ball. I'm far too intellectually honest for that kind of street fighting, and that's one of the reasons I'm outa here. So thank you again Troy for that hoot.

gemsnbling at 6:06 PM: Thank you especially for your good wishes. We crossed swords back a while, when what I saw as your blatant arrogance got up my nose, and I called you for it.

Thanks for taking it as honest feedback, and not as the sexist attack that others read into it, to suit their models of gender dynamics.

spanky668 at 6:12 PM posted "looks may play a part in who we choose to get to know, but it won't play a part in who we grow to like." I think that is the wisest insight that we've read here for months. Thank you from us all.

Your requested progress report: I haven't got time to blog more than occasionally now, after earning my living, plus 2-finger typing for 3 email exchanges a day. (morning, noon and night - she's retired.)

Spending next weekend with her, with time off for Sunday-night tennis.

Must go change my profile. Seeyez much later.

Posted by:

Posted by: timewarp1 at June 5, 2008 12:14 AM

That would be a good blog topic Kylie. I tend to think that all first dates have got to be pretty good, a time to have a chat, a laugh, find out a little about the other person. I think if you keep an open mind and go out with the thought that you are going to enjoy yourself it will work. If you start to feel uncomfortable or bored halfway thru that's good also as then you know there is no point pursuing and you can just wish them well in their search. I have met some absolutely lovely people on this site and had some really good dates, first and otherwise but have never felt the real need to continue. I don't know whether it's me or them, but now I'm starting to think it's me. I have lived alone for a long time now and quite comfortable in my lifestyle. I think I would love to have a really close intimate companion, but ideally we could live in separate houses, no only a thought.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 4, 2008 10:58 PM

you're more than welcome gemsnbling, i only call it as i see it.

Posted by: thetradey at June 4, 2008 10:43 PM

Thanks for the encouragement Thetradey.
The girls gave you some good tips on your profile last night.
All the best with it. It's looking good!

Posted by: gemsnbling at June 4, 2008 10:08 PM

Kaz...tis a poor person that refuses knowledge indeed

Posted by: thetradey at June 4, 2008 10:00 PM

applesryum, nothing wrong with a tattoo.
They are something that you do for yourself and no one else, well l think so anyway....
And yes l have one too....a 1 inch yin yang symbol for "woman" on my inside right wrist....quite cute actually, and if others do not like it too bad so sad.....It only took me 47 years to get it...................K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 4, 2008 9:38 PM

Tradey, nothing like a bit of female input to get the interest going.....
At least you listened when profile assistance was offered, and it has paid off in the peek stakes..........K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 4, 2008 9:19 PM

The tough get going???? Try being with an alcoholic for 2 or more years and you might learn about being tough and standing by someone .... like when they get violent or wander the streets in a drunken stupor and you have to somehow get them safely home in the middle of the night when you'd rather be sleeping.

Posted by: woodnwine at June 4, 2008 1:32 PM

Woody, try it for 15 years.....it aint fun either way................K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 4, 2008 9:13 PM

Posted by: jaspercat at June 4, 2008 6:59 PM

Thank you for the kind words on your post. I was deeply touched by them. Very deeply touched.

Your words have wiped all the doubt I had about posting in the first place. I was never certain how you would receive it. So thank you. I'm glad you appreciated the gesture for what it was.

Posted by: lovemuzik at June 4, 2008 9:12 PM

COngrats Timewarp on finding someone.
I would love to hear about successful first dates. Maybe an interesting blog topic on its own.

Posted by: justmekylie at June 4, 2008 9:11 PM

Firstly thank you ladies for your constructive input last night and making me feel welcome in the realm of blogsville,have to admit that line was just a bit childish,frustrated at a couple of insincere members,they say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned (try a passionate Virgo male hahaha), totally inundated today...might have to employ a secretary.... pmsl, gemsnbling i noticed you had a peek at my profile,regarding your blog today....don't give up you are one very very attractive woman...am sure you will find what you are searching for.... if not the Sunnny Coast QLD is a nice spot!!!!

Posted by: thetradey at June 4, 2008 8:43 PM

Hey Jaspercat there is no wrong in being a gentle "person".. be who you are:)..above all be true to thyself:)

Posted by: thornbird64 at June 4, 2008 8:04 PM

Jaspercat

I cant see what a bloke wouldnt like about your profile. In your appropriate age, you state your own age plus 10, so I have no Idea.

Maybe some blokes dont like cats?

What about a new profile name, and a few more photos?

Not that there is anything wrong with your current profile name, its just the results are not happening for you.

For what it's worth, and probably not much, but my results seem to have seasons, like I will get several kisses at one time then none for a while. Maybe RSVP markets us differently.

There is one thing I have noticed an that is, I would have lost interest ages ago if it hadn't been for the blogs. But logging in every day to do the blogs, keeps the profile fresh and in yer face.

Posted by: virgil at June 4, 2008 8:00 PM

Hi lovemusik
Thankyou so much for your advice and I am blown away that you care so much to even think of me to do that. I dont know I have just recently sent out about 10 kisses to different guys and all of them and I mean ALL are just not interested. I dont know - as I have said before I have tried and tried and tried and tried and I am over it at the moment. I actually only get on the blogs to read some interesting sessions. Anyway you are a beautiful person and thank you so much for having the want to care. Good luck to you with bit capital letters because you really deserve someone special.
Maddy

Posted by: jaspercat at June 4, 2008 6:59 PM

i had my first "date'' today and was very happy with the "quality" of man i met...i was so very nervous but it turned out ok in the end! i would like to hear more positives from other rsvp members on their "dates"! all the best!

Posted by: cutesmile52 at June 4, 2008 6:19 PM

by the way:) whilst i am running a seeming monologue here - i have been contacted by guys who are not my type nor am i theres - but we have become friends (platonic) and who have been burnt if i may succinctly say in the words of a dear friend of mine who pulled down his profile "its is costing me too much emotionally as well as materially".. and i agree wholeheartedly with them as i have pulled my profile down more than once rather than keep it up...

Posted by: thornbird64 at June 4, 2008 6:13 PM

ApplesRYum 4 June 4:42pm. Good for you, love the name, the attitude, the profile and Kudos to you for anteing up, and putting your profile back up for the world to see...... You're great, that's what I mean by personality...you can't buy that......................

TroyOhBoy. ...spanky?, its shorter than usual, but I like it....I think it makes me seem younger, vibrant and more playful...; P. just to consider the flip side of your comment, it also swings the other way.....I don't think a Naomi Campbell type diva throwing a glass at your head because you bought the wrong champagne would be very attractive either, .......hypotheticals aside, I think personality is better than a glass in the hand of the moronically obsessed .....trumps it every time.....looks may play apart in who we choose to get to know, but it won't play a part in who we grow to like.

Posted by: spanky668 at June 4, 2008 6:12 PM

Posted by: applesryum at June 4, 2008 4:42 PM
Good on you applesryum. A nice example of one should feel comfortable within themselves, and one should attract the same.
Good luck with your new adventure.

TW, congratulations, all the hard work has paid off.
For me, I'm tired already with my search. Hopefully the contacts I am to meet soon will have Mr Right for me in amongst them. If not I'm going on a holiday.
I'm starting to feel I would be just right on my own, with my own company.
Good Luck TW

Posted by: gemsnbling at June 4, 2008 6:06 PM

Bill, great to hear your news, very best wishes to you and your new lady..... Now we gotta find OG one as well.................K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 4, 2008 5:59 PM

Hi all i am new to "blogging" but may i say thank you for all your comments and views on this topic. i would like to offer my best wishes to "timewarp"...and his new partner. I agree with all of those who have posted the fact that photos are only 2 dimensional. which determines you can only view a "projected" image of that person. I find the "written" words more telling and if a person takes the time to actually sit down and offer thoughts and views rather than 1 or 2 ambiguous lines they in my opinion are worth consideration:)

Posted by: thornbird64 at June 4, 2008 4:42 PM

well I'm new to blogging and have to say have been reading these for awhile now, and it saddens me to think that some of you might actually be missing your chances for love because of your judgemental ways..

firstly...tattoos? for real!!! just because a woman has a tattoo does not mean that shes a trucker or a feral...it may however show that someone is comfortable in their own skin, and likes art or did it when they were younger....and as for the money side....well since its not your money, and you have no idea how much they might have who are you to judge?

weight....who cares? either your attracted or your not..simple! but you have no right to tell someone they are fat or unfit without firstly meeting them, and even then who are you to make someone feel unworthy of love?

and the kids? as a single mum (not so single now) i don't like the thought of being judged by that, but I can understand it, and would rather someone open then someone who is going to make me walk on eggshells while they are in the company of my munchkins and I

I only wish everyone the best and luck

and yep I do have a tattoo on my back, I also have dreadlocks, i know that i am not everyones cup of tea, and thats great because i was not looking for the normal kind of guy, i wanted someone off center and kind, and thanks to online dating I found him, we are even moving in together soon...happy days!

will stick my profile up again for a few days so you guys can see who I am

best of luck x

Posted by: applesryum at June 4, 2008 4:42 PM

timewarp1 at June 4, 2008 12:42 AM

Don't do a Billy Snedden on us mate.

Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 4, 2008 3:26 PM

At great risk of being utterly superficial, i think it would be handy to have a button embedded into profiles, that enabled you to perform a search of the other members via a "search for people like this person"

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at June 4, 2008 2:50 PM

Hi Troy,
yeah I take your point, I read it wrong, to a point. One may select on a criteria of choice, but does that chosen person then be locked into that profile for the rest of their life, or else! One thing I did notice in woodies and your post it the modern idea,heath and looks. As weight gain after childbirth can happen, so can taking up smoking etc happen after marriage,then what do you do?.
Completely agree with your lean on respect, not only expecting others to respect you, but then extending your respect to others equally.

Nah Bill wouldn't even look at her,she is attached, so a no go area for an old gentleman, same as leaving the blogs, while attached, seems to me the right thing to do.
Cheers OG.

Posted by: oldergent at June 4, 2008 2:43 PM

Thanks all for the feedback and the blogs.... they can be amusing :)

Posted by: jodes75 at June 4, 2008 2:15 PM

that was exactly my point OG, they all paint in their own style and therefore, see the subject thru their own eyes.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 4, 2008 1:51 PM

troyohboy - thanks, that's pretty much my point exactly. I would support my partner 100% through anything that might happen to them such as an accident, cancer etc over which they had no control but I wouldn't stand by while they slowly killed themselves through substance abuse.

"If you don't respect yourself .... how can you expect someone else to?" .... exactly

Posted by: woodnwine at June 4, 2008 1:37 PM

OG - I fully understand that people age and that is a given .... and by the way I don't look for model good looks in a partner .... but people who abuse their bodies can only expect so much sympathy.

The tough get going???? Try being with an alcoholic for 2 or more years and you might learn about being tough and standing by someone .... like when they get violent or wander the streets in a drunken stupor and you have to somehow get them safely home in the middle of the night when you'd rather be sleeping.

I think you may be confusing compassion with blind ignorance.

Posted by: woodnwine at June 4, 2008 1:32 PM

Woody, it must be me who misunderstood what you are trying to say and I am out of step with everybody else.
I thought you meant you would stick by someone with whom you are in a relationship whatever happens unless they radically change due to substance abuse or other unhealthy lifestyle that has a negative effect on themselves and the relationship.

Sorry OG I don't equate putting on weight after kids, which can happen, with taking up smoking or becoming a sloth and putting on 30 kgs.

Spanky, a sparkle in the eye can lose it's appeal when it becomes a pig like glint amongst the jowels of the morbidly obese.

I've said it before, if you can't respect yourself how can you expect others to.

And good on you TW, I thought you may have run off with WB haha. Hope it works out.

Troy

Posted by: troyohboy at June 4, 2008 1:10 PM

WoodnWine 4 June 10:20am It has to be, surely, how else can so many varying people have partners who adore them. As you said, getting to know someone can change how you see them (for better or for worse) and as I have found in my short life, personality is an incredibly sexy quality.....to see that sparkle in the eye, to see the warmth, honesty and (hopefully) a little mischevious twinkle, that shows you who they are, it's great, friend or partner.

Posted by: spanky668 at June 4, 2008 12:25 PM

Timewarp....

FANTASTIC NEWS!!!
I'm so very happy for you.. please do keep in touch.

CHEERS... T

Posted by: decoratress at June 4, 2008 12:24 PM

Woody,
sorry I can't agree with you, love should not be conditional, you marry a non smoker, she starts smoking, thin woman that put the weight on after a couple of your kids, marry a beauty and her looks fade because of that,then you want out, not a good look for you that post, sure things people do to themselves can be rough on you, but you know the old saying
"When things get tough etc".

Hi Perth,@10.07am
never miss it myself, but if you look at the other work of the artists he presents as a background, they mainly paint in a style and medium that suits them. The other thing that is of more interest is the paintings the siters pick for themselves, so far I have only agreed with one choice by the sitter, and I think it was in the first series. Still I wish I had the talent of any artist that has appeared to date.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at June 4, 2008 12:14 PM

Hi Woody, The portraits are usually showing the inner feelings of the person and sometimes they do not picture 'beauty' as such. One showed the person with his inner being very sad, it's a fascinating programme, try to have a look if you can, it's with
Rolf Harris and I don't know the name, but channel 2, should be easy to find, only 30 mins once a week. I agree with a lot of what you say, I have a lot of sympathy for people who have no control over illness etc., but I think there are too many medical terms used for people today who simply make bad life choices. Also it is very easy to become a cripple by choice by becoming obese and then you have control of a lot of people and also don't have to work. Yes, the screaming will happen, discrimination etc., but I worked with a woman who weighed 168kgs and really she was not effective, took a massive time off work with medical problems etc., swore blind she did not eat much and it was a medical problem. Rubbish, she didn't eat much at all at each sitting, she grazed 24 hours a day almost and never ate a decent meal just stuffed herself. I think the medical component makes up about 2% and that can be changed with medication. Also she smelled in the summer because of the horrendous roles of fat not being able to get fresh air. I would think that a man or woman married in a situation like that would find it pretty horrendous if they wouldn't try to help themselves.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 4, 2008 11:54 AM

My search criteria would not be possible for RSVP, because apart from being a non smoker, somewhere around my age, and reasonably healthy, with no addictions, ie gambling or drugs, I am fairly open.

My preference would be for someone with a fairly peaceful nature, who liked me.

Posted by: virgil at June 4, 2008 11:38 AM

An inteeresting situation, a regular blogger finds the love of his life, therefore retires from blogging, or not?

I dont know what I would do.

To explain to a new love why I still go on RSVP just to blog, might ring some bells better left alone.

If this blog was not attached to a dating site, it might be easier to justify continued use to a new partner.

The simplest solution is clearly to just let it go.

The friendships gained over a few years, would I guess have broadened out to other means of communication by now, and aquaintances come and go from our lives all the time.

Posted by: virgil at June 4, 2008 11:16 AM

Timewarp

Your success is so well deserved. I dont know of anyone who has worked harder to achieve the desired result.

Many of us, me included, I think would have given up earlier.

So, congratulations!

Posted by: virgil at June 4, 2008 11:04 AM

perth - beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder and often what one person finds beautiful another won't. I haven't seen that show but can understand how it would be interesting. Also, often when you get to know a person they start to look a bit different .......... (don't they?)

Posted by: woodnwine at June 4, 2008 10:20 AM

Previous post should have read 'now quite successful" in fact it is extremely successful and going great guns.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 4, 2008 10:07 AM

I was having a little skim thru the profiles this morning and came across a very interesting one, all good things and a lot of compatibility and then I read looking for "tall, slim, long hair, blue eyes etc.," okay being realistic, short, bit chub, medium hair and green eyes is not going to do the trick here so moving right on ........ Has anyone watched that amazing Rolf Harris programme on TV at the moment where three artists do a portrait of a particular person as they see that person. The difference in the pictures is amazing and provides a fascinating insight into how a person can be viewed. I wonder how many of the guys here are so set in stone with the view on what their perspective partner looks like, rather than what that person is really like.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 4, 2008 10:03 AM

"And that people get sick, (I think she also quoted the stats re heart disease, diabetes, etc) or are involved in car accidents and like all of us, just want acceptance and unconditional love
I noticed a male reply (was it Woody?) who responded with a "you've got to be joking?"

Yet none of us know what the future holds no matter how healthy we may be at the current time. One would hope that any partner, people who have such an attitude may have in the future, would not be quite so callous!
Posted by: amberlight58 at June 3, 2008 9:07 PM"

That's not exactly what I was meaning so maybe I should explain myself better. If I was with someone I would support them through anything .... almost. I would find it very difficult to continue to support someone who abused their health through someting like smoking, overeating, unhealthy diet, total lack of exercise/fitness, alcoholism, drug addiction etc. These things are lifestyle choices, not diseases or accidents, so I would not continue to support someone who chose these things over a long and happy life/future with me.

Having said that, I spent about 2 years in a relationship with an alcoholic quite a while ago and that was tough going. Eventually she got over her addiction and we broke up for other reasons, so I would support my partner up to a point. Certainly I would support a partner if they had an accident or contracted a disease.

Premature heart disease and diabetes are usually (but not always) caused by our lifestyle choices so why should I stay with someone regardless of what ailements they choose to afflict their bodies with? Many ailements that our hospitals are busy treating are avoidable/preventable.

Posted by: woodnwine at June 4, 2008 9:54 AM

Timewarp@12;42am...Wow! Congratulations...always knew that it sometimes happens....best of luck

Posted by: ssshhh at June 4, 2008 9:08 AM

Hey Bill - well done mate and best of luck. Nine and a half hours for a first date .... that must surely be a record. Drop in from time to time and let us know how things are going.
Cheers
woody.

Posted by: woodnwine at June 4, 2008 8:45 AM

Timewarp/Bill,
That is so wonderful to hear. Hope everything contnues to go wonderfully for you! Keep us "up to date" occasionally won't you? (That is if you get the time!)

Kaz @ 10:23 PM Agreed! But we'll keep being positive!

Tradey,
Looks great, sounds so much better. Now you present like a really nice guy. Good luck!

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 4, 2008 8:38 AM

Very happy for you, TW - sounds great. Hope it all goes well :)

Posted by: malsie at June 4, 2008 7:47 AM

TW congrats on the successful dating and sincere best wishes that it continues for you, your date sound lovely and it is sooo good to see a blogger have a happy ending....also a happy ending gives the rest of us a good feeling , in that it does happen.......have a lovely day out there in blog land ....jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at June 4, 2008 7:38 AM

lovemuzic - 6.35pm I think your matchmaking was excellent. Sometimes you just never know.

Be good if they were both reading what you wrote - popped off an email to each other - planets collide... all that. aargh. Me ever the romantic.

Oh, and how good would it then be to read about it all here on the blogs.

We'll wait in anticipation.

Enjoy your day everyone.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at June 4, 2008 7:24 AM

Timewarp - 12.42am. Thats fantastic. Good luck with your new lady. I'm very happy for you.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at June 4, 2008 6:59 AM

jodes75 at June 3, 2008 10:41 PM
There is a potted 'thanks but no thanks' reply option for unsolicited emails.
You could write back and express your thoughts if you received the email, and no, you are not under any obligation at all to anyone here as far as chatting- and the chat prompt box has a couple of cop out response possibilities too..
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 4, 2008 2:11 AM

Good morning all. Just called in for a quick blogread when I came home from tennis, (my first read for a week) and to say

GOODBYE, more or less, to all my blogfriends.

BECAUSE 'SHE' HAS FOUND ME.

Got an RSVP kiss from a woman a week ago. Latest of about 40 locals in the last coupla years, not counting well over a hundred foreigners, looking for me to import them to BrisVegas.

Liked the look and words of her, so I invited her email, which came within a couple of hours. Emailed her back briefly with my phone number, and she phoned me promptly. We quickly arranged our first date for Saturday.

Lunch at a football club (because it was expected to be wet and windy) went very well, and stretched through afternoon coffee. Then the sun came out, so we walked along the nearby beach till sunset, then sat and watched the lights of Bribie come on across Deception Bay.

I didn't want it to stop, so I invited her to come with me to dinner, while we were already out. She counter-offered dinner at her home in that suburb (because she trusted me - not generally wise for a woman. Too risky in theory.) But said I'd have to open her bottle of cold white for her.

By the time we'd talked enough for that date, we'd been together nine and a half hours.

I was back across town next day for a 3pm movie together (the new Indiana Jones - excellent.) Then dinner and chat again at her place - 6.1/2 hours together, that time.

Since then 3 emails a day in each direction (the first arrived here before I even got home on Saturday night) and today we've decided to go steady, and see what happens.

So you'll hear a lot less from me here in the blogs in future.

I'm so very glad to have met her now, and not a year or two earlier. Why?

In the last 2 and a half years I've read well over a thousand Brisbane women's profiles (skimmed 887 the first day after I joined - took me 14 hours.)

I've sent out well over 300 kisses, got over a hundred "No thanks" and had over a hundred haughtily and totally ignored (usually the prettiest ones, often pictured worshipping their wine glass. That's a lesson ...)

And I've had most of 150 invite my email, leading to about 120 first meetings, not counting the meetings that resulted from them sending me a kiss - probably about another 20 or 30.

So now I really know who's out there in BrisVegas,. And that let me realise very quickly that I don't expect to find anyone else out there who's more delightful (to my eyes and ears) than this one is.

That's very reassuring, because we always hope to do as well for ourselves as possible.

So I'll wish you all success with RSVP too.

It's all about grasping life's opportunities the moment they present, and not just looking at the water from a distance, and wondering if it might be too chilly today.

All the best to you all.

Bill

Posted by: timewarp1 at June 4, 2008 12:42 AM

Well done on the changes Tradey (yep, I peeked too). No offence to those from other parts of Australia but you will find Victorians to be very helpful in most instances. Especially our AuntyKaz.

Good luck with your search.

Posted by: ninaschen at June 3, 2008 11:26 PM

I'm new, so i search for ladys who live close to me. I can chat at other sites and have a laugh and make friends there. It is here where i'm looking to actually meet people.

Posted by: slychef at June 3, 2008 11:09 PM

Hi Jodes75, I wouldn't think you are ever obligated to contact someone...If they have sent an e-mail rather than a kiss that is their prerogative, but does not mean you have to accept anymore than you would a kiss.......granted this isn't a situation I face often (ever)......Good luck, and follow you gut..if it is not something you want to pursue, don't feel you have too.

Posted by: spanky668 at June 3, 2008 11:04 PM

Why should a person feel obligated ? The sender FREELY decided to send the email.

If it happened to me and I was not interested I would simply say

"Thank you but I graciously decline"

Hi Everyone, I'd like to know peoples thoughts on people sending an email without an initial kiss for you to accept or say no thanks to. If it has happened are you obligated to chat seeing as someone has used a stamp?
Thx Jodes

Posted by: jodes75 at June 3, 2008 10:41 PM

Posted by: mgtow at June 3, 2008 11:02 PM

Sorry further to my other post... I know we aren't obligated but is it acceptable to say thanks but no thanks or should you chat even if there's no obvious compatibility from your side of the fence? Cheers.. Jodie

Posted by: jodes75 at June 3, 2008 10:58 PM

No obligation at all jodes,if someone wants to be that presumptuous their problem,i noticed you checked my profile out,wow if all you women down that way are so attractive...might have to move state lol

Posted by: thetradey at June 3, 2008 10:57 PM

Hi Jodes - No you are not obliged to chat to someone just because they have emailed straight up. But if you like the look of him, go for it.

Otherwise just a polite thanks but no thanks email reply is fine. If he is persistant and annoying to you then just block him.

For someone to go straight to email, is often a genuine attraction from their part though, so keep that in mind.

Good luck.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at June 3, 2008 10:57 PM

Thanks and G/Night ladies was a pleasure catch ya's next time

Posted by: thetradey at June 3, 2008 10:46 PM

Hi Everyone, I'd like to know peoples thoughts on people sending an email without an initial kiss for you to accept or say no thanks to. If it has happened are you obligated to chat seeing as someone has used a stamp?
Thx Jodes

Posted by: jodes75 at June 3, 2008 10:41 PM

Yes Kaz - Think I could do with a bit of a tweak right about now. Will look into that. lol.

Night all.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at June 3, 2008 10:34 PM

Thanks Jen,but have noticed all of a sudden quite a bit of interest from Victoria,a bloke nearly feels like he is on the end of the Spanish Inquisition though(havin a giggle),have to agree my tunes rock just not enough space to list them all

Posted by: thetradey at June 3, 2008 10:26 PM

Tradey, it already looks so much better and is much easier to read like that..... Well done in accepting the suggestions too :-)

Funny how a few tweaks can change the whole look of things....
Jen and Amberlight, hey if only it were that easy !!...................K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 3, 2008 10:23 PM

Well Tradey - that didn't take long to make some changes. Don't take too much away.
I like profiles that are written directly and not so full of 'fluff'.

The paras are better. We do need to get more guys learning how to type. Lol. No offence - ok?

Oh, love heaps of your music. Cool!

Good luck again. lol

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at June 3, 2008 10:13 PM

mgtow, as you and I have chatted before on another site, I can only assume that the other relationship you were in has not worked out, so for that I am sorry, however, in response to those who have misconstrued my comments, I will respond. I see the photo as a representation of the person, not the person, so what they have with them in the photo is a reflection of who they are, not what they drive or how they dress. I wouldn't kick an Adonis out of the bed, but it's not the be all and end all of physical attraction with me. As we all know there are alot of attractive people out their with very ugly souls. I would prefer a average joe with a killer smile and sense of humor to some of the hero looking dimwits I meet on the Gold Coast. I choose not to label someone until I have met them, so until someone proves me wrong I think of them in a positive light. Naive probably, but it's just as easy to lose me as a friend as have me if you have a rotten attitude to things. I keep myself as positive as I can, however, I am suffering from bouts of anxiety and shame as I walk around my school and get talked about just loud enough behind my back by young students old enough to be my kid's, if I had them. I would never ever put someone down or insult them because of the way they look because I know how that feels and how fragile self ego is to a person. It's as true in the real world when your an adult as when your a kid. I also do NOT think it is cool for men or women to not respond to kisses, however since I am a nice woman looking for a nice man, I didn't think I needed to signify who I wanted replies from. Just as well they are free because if I had to pay for the amount I send out, I would be broke! Plus I have a cat who is currently my stand in boyfriend. So now I'm a fat complainer with no life and a cat lady to boot :-D So be it!

Posted by: bigheartedgal33 at June 3, 2008 10:10 PM

Thanks for the honesty ladies much appreciated took your point kaz,and jigged it a touch and to jenniferhi about 3 weeks,amberlight58 thank you for your thought no criticism taken

Posted by: thetradey at June 3, 2008 10:07 PM

Tradey,
I agree with Kaz. Your PS line seems a little aggressive, though I can understand your frustration if you have been caught by people who have appeared to be time wasters in the past.
But you could put your concerns a little more politely.
You may well put off some girls, as that sort of comment could lead some to think that you tend to be direspectful towards women and cast blame a lot.
Just a thought, not a criticism and not everyone will agree!

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 3, 2008 9:54 PM

Hmmm Tradey, my last post has been moderated a little.
".I would lose the line, it does not sound at all nice and getting your point across there without resorting to that aint hard." refers to the line in your profile in which you have blanked out a few letters in capitals...you will see what l am getting at in your profile...................K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 3, 2008 9:44 PM

Thanks Firelight but he is doing well now and has lived like this for a number of years. He purchased the bar with the compensation money and has turned it into an amazingly successful business. Also has since married and has the most beautiful child you have ever seen. He lost nearly quarter of his skull starting above his left eye when a circular saw broke loose when he was working in a timber yard as a younger guy. He has medication for epilepsy now and also has a problem with speech and slightly paralysed on one side, but apart from that works full time, has a beautiful house, wife and child. His wife is a school teacher who he met on a bus trip thru Europe and she obviously only sees the beautiful hard working honest soul that he is. Their child is magnificent. I only see him as my friend, my beautiful friend who I treasure and learn from every day of my life.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 3, 2008 9:34 PM

Thetradey - I think your profile is good. It's direct, down to earth and reflects you well I would think. No BS from you and likewise you don't want any in return.

I think a profile like that is great. How long have you been on?

Good luck in the search.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at June 3, 2008 9:21 PM

TheTradey, just went back to have an indepth read, as opposed to an quick glance...Okay you asked so here goes.
I would lose the line, it does not sound at all nice and getting your point across there without resorting to that aint hard.
You also go into detail about yourself, presumably from a selling point but also to give an idea of what makes you appealing in your own eyes, but then say "if you want to feel good about yourself look in the mirror".
Tradey, isn't a relationship, about making someone else feel good too?? Give and take sort of thing......
That comment could also be turned around to reflect yourself.
Maybe a new photo, the one you have there is fine just a bit overexposed and maybe more than one....
More attention to punctuation and grammar as well as paragraph breaks would break up the big block of information.
Your ideal partner section is well populated which is unusual to say the least so points there.
The positive information in your profile is good in regards to what you like to do.
Minor reworkings really, good luck to you.
BTW you live in the best part of Queensland, The Sunshine Coast. ..........K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 3, 2008 9:17 PM

ER&L,
I had never read all of that verse either. It rings very true.
Yesterday a lovely lady I knew who lived by that creed died, aged only 38 after a 10 year battle with breast cancer.
She was a most beautiful person, who so appreciated her family, friends and all those who helped and supported her.
She died quickly and unexpectedly and thankfully, peacefully.
She leaves two sons in their teens, a husband who adored her, and a family who will be devastated.
She always looked on the positive side of life, despite battling one setback after another.
I remember her telling me one day about how much she appreciated her sons reaching milestones such as graduating from primary school, and how people often commented about how emotional she was. As she said every milestone they passed was a milestone she wasn't sure she'd ever see, and she so appreciated being able to enjoy them.
If life was fair she would have won her battle, for if ever someone appreciated life, it was her.

Perth,
It is sad how people judge others not for who they are, but for what they have materially. Your friend is a prime example. I wonder just how hopeless it must be for anyone who has disability to find a partner, when people are so concerned with material assets and 'health'.

One of the guys here talked about an ex air hostess he met who was overweight and he was most scathing about her being unhealthy.
I think it was Firelight who said the lady had been fortunate that this person didn't want her anyway. And that people get sick, (I think she also quoted the stats re heart disease, diabetes, etc) or are involved in car accidents and like all of us, just want acceptance and unconditional love
I noticed a male reply (was it Woody?) who responded with a "you've got to be joking?"

Yet none of us know what the future holds no matter how healthy we may be at the current time. One would hope that any partner, people who have such an attitude may have in the future, would not be quite so callous!

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 3, 2008 9:07 PM

Iaminperth - could you drop me a line regarding your friend in QLD, we might be able to help i.e. the visible effects etc. My field of work is trauma and ICU. Sadly his account is not unusual but we can assist even 2.5 years down the track.

A mutual friend may be able to give you my email. Best wishes, your post on the Percheron brought back memories of my childhood in Normandy - beautiful horses!

Posted by: firelightlady at June 3, 2008 8:56 PM

Hi auntykaz,just noticed you checked my profile out,well then honest opinion pls as not having much luck finding what i am searching for,but have weeded out some attention seekers though

Posted by: thetradey at June 3, 2008 8:53 PM

Jenniferhi, iaminperth and Woodnwine, thank you for your kind words.....it is always nice to be fortunate enough to meet with people on a similar journey, and well wishers.

Posted by: spanky668 at June 3, 2008 8:38 PM

I have a male friend in Qld who had a terrible accident and spent 3 months in intensive care and then a couple of years in recovery. He has since purchased a small bar which is not quite successful. He likes to work behind the bar some nights as he likes people and has often asked ladies out. The rude replies he has encountered including freak, retard and giggles have been soul destroying and mind boggling. However, it's funny how this man with still some visual injuries becomes so attractive when he gets into his new Mercedes 4WD to go home and these same people realize he owns the place. Have tried the same experiment here with a younger male friend. He likes to go to Subi and would like to meet a young lady, he is studying medicine and drives a bit of a bomb., However, if he takes my car and parks it nearby for all to see it is amazing how many of these women find him soooooo attractive. Seems all a little shallow to me, so ladies when you are criticizing the guys, just remember they don't have it all their own way.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 3, 2008 7:16 PM

Virgil - Just the way you wrote the heading on your last post got me laughing. Imagine people just looking at the home page blog topics. Looks charming doesn't it?

Maybe we should all just abbreviate him to ER&L like some have.

Sorry, but I just can't stop laughing tonight. There has been some stuff set me off for sure today.

Hope everyone is having a good evening.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at June 3, 2008 7:10 PM

mgtow, i just had to have a little peek... and I am with amdoingit....wow....no complaints here, hope you enjoy the online dating experience and blogging...have a lovely wet evening all...we are getting much needed rain here at last...jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at June 3, 2008 7:00 PM

Grego, it is called multitasking....surely an easy enough thing.......K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 3, 2008 6:41 PM

Posted by: jaspercat at June 1, 2008 3:24 PM

I'm not sure if we are allowed to play matchmakers here on these blogs, but it doesn't hurt to try. So here goes.

Browsing through the profiles of Sydney men currently online, I came across LightEarthTreader and thought of you. I read his profile and found so many ways you and him could be compatible. The list is too long to include here. Just for starters he's got beautiful eyes like you, he's one year older than you, he's a little taller than you, he plays piano (and you want someone interested in music) and the list goes on.

Please check out his profile. Of course, he's in Sydney (because I only tend to look for Sydney men), but you never know - one of you can relocate.

One last thing. If you meet and it doesn't turn out, I accept no responsibility. But if you meet, fall in love and get married, then it was all because of me. LOL.

Good luck.

Posted by: lovemuzik at June 3, 2008 6:35 PM

Eats roots and leaves

Thanks for putting that poem up, I have seen the first few words many times, but never seen it in its entirety.

Posted by: virgil at June 3, 2008 5:34 PM

grego7 at June 3, 2008 1:00 PM
A big hearted bloke can run both at once without feeling faint.

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 3, 2008 4:20 PM

i understand..... i put my comment on before he did his so i was referring to someone else...

Posted by: cutesmile52 at June 3, 2008 4:16 PM

Cutie.. WnW is merely pointing out that it happens with both males and females.. He's not being critical I'm sure..
I agree with you but I also know a few of the males (personally as friends) on this site and they have the same experiences and grievances that we do..... Cheers.. "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at June 3, 2008 3:12 PM

Bighearted, umm, I actually thought the Adonis looks perfectly healthy.. and.. perfectly toned to boot....

mgtow.... I had to have a peek and all I can say is ...интересный профиль ... !!!!!!

Cheers all.... "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at June 3, 2008 3:07 PM

each of of us has our own experiences on rsvp...there is no need to critize one for making a comment...to each their own and makes interesting reading...

Posted by: cutesmile52 at June 3, 2008 2:27 PM

"Of all these self-proclaimed "down to earth, normal" guys, not alot of them have the common courtesy to reply to kisses.
Posted by: bigheartedgal33 at June 3, 2008 12:39 PM"

Funny thing is bighearted .... most women think it's OK for them not to reply to kisses.

Posted by: woodnwine at June 3, 2008 2:20 PM

Solitude by Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
Sing, and the hills will answer;
Sigh, it is lost on the air.
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
But shrink from voicing care.

Rejoice, and men will seek you;
Grieve, and they turn and go.
They want full measure of all your pleasure,
But they do not need your woe.
Be glad, and your friends are many;
Be sad, and you lose them all.
There are none to decline your nectared wine,
But alone you must drink life's gall.

Feast, and your halls are crowded;
Fast, and the world goes by.
Succeed and give, and it helps you live,
But no man can help you die.
There is room in the halls of pleasure
For a long and lordly train,
But one by one we must all file on
Through the narrow aisles of pain.

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 3, 2008 9:02 AM
Some times things on here get far too serious!

"Chaos! Panic! Disorder! My Work Here Is Done!"
;)

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at June 3, 2008 1:32 PM

quote - authour bigheartedgal33
"Of all these self-proclaimed "down to earth, normal" guys, not alot of them have the common courtesy to reply to kisses."

Let me assure you that it goes BOTH ways.

Rather than complain about it I put it down to simply no interest -- I am not going to get upset/rant/vent because I spent one minute of time on someone and they did not reciprocate, to do so and lament or ruminate on it is the greater disservice to ones self.

Posted by: mgtow at June 3, 2008 1:20 PM

quote - author bigheartedgal33

"Photos should show who the person is, what they look like is secondary as far as I am concerned."

Good point and I understand where you are coming from alas though what about those that have pictures with expensive sports cars for example - who they are is perhaps being portrayed by that photo as a connoisseur of fine automobiles, yet they will be labeled all manner of derogatory terms for having a picture of themselves with their porsche.

How about pictures of people with their dogs - who they are is a dog lover, yet some may think in the case of a woman that has no children for example that she uses the dog(s) as a child substitute

Then to use myself as an example - who I am is a body builder and fitness aficionado, so I show this, I do not do "main stream" sports yet I am constantly the target of numerous insults and put downs for showing who I am

Moral of the story -- you cant please everyone, do what makes you happy and you are comfortable with( as long as it does not intrude on others) and maybe you will find someone who shares the same outlook.

Posted by: mgtow at June 3, 2008 1:10 PM

Does anyone know what the success rate of RSVP is for people achieving long term relationships? If the blogs are a guide RSVP is not doing well.

It seems to me that some people look for a partner in the same way that that they buy a car. Setting all sorts of specifications.. ..most of which are irrelevant.

Perhaps a better approach is to determine which attributes are a total negative. For me I eliminate smokers and woman with no children.Then applying my target age range 50-55 and an arbitrary 25km radius gives me a market potential of 416 females.

Now it seems to me there would be something really wrong if I could not find some ideal partner amongst those 416. At a guess perfectly good realtionships could be formed with at least 5%.( and at least 20-30% would be worth dating) I suspect this is Timewarps appraoch as well but he has gone missing in action.

I dont believe in that "soulmate" rubbish. If one believes there is only one other person in the world for you then you are doomed to failure.

Ignore photos. Some people photograph well others dont. If you just go on photos you rule out so many potentially beautiful women.

I used to check out a lot of men's profiles to see what the competion was and from the comments by women on these blogs a lot of guys are just hopeless. So a genuine guy who is smart with his targetting has just gotta succeed. So endeth the lesson.

PS My old man told me ( I will clean up the language) that one organ is for thinking and one organ for sex. Some guys let the sex organ do their thinking. This organ is entirely incapable of even the simplest thought.Furthermore the male heart is only capale of supplying blood to one of the two organs at the same time. So any male should know when his brain is not being supplied with blood and therefore is turned off.

Posted by: grego7 at June 3, 2008 1:00 PM

Photos should show who the person is, what they look like is secondary as far as I am concerned... to a point. It's as true of thin as it is of fat that we are all looking for the best possible mate to continue the species with. Studies show we either look for the same face shapes, same interests and same personality to a certain extent, or our complete opposite.

I am looking for someone who is healthy, not someone who looks like the Greek Adonis.

Of all these self-proclaimed "down to earth, normal" guys, not alot of them have the common courtesy to reply to kisses.

I have always through that RSVP was a medium thorugh which to meet nice men who, like me, didn't have the time to date in the traditional manner, and didn't like the atmosphere of nightclubs.

It is a popularity contest. Who has the nicest photo? Obviously not me!

Posted by: bigheartedgal33 at June 3, 2008 12:39 PM

Hi Virgil,
Yes I was thinking the same thing the other night, I hope he's okay too!
Hopefully woody's right, and between his earning a crust and dating Ms Right Enuff, he has no longer got the time to blog.
Hopefully he'll 'check in' amd let us know what he's up to, even if it's only a line or two.

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 3, 2008 11:25 AM

Maybe we're asking for too much ..............

Posted by: woodnwine at June 3, 2008 11:14 AM

virgil - maybe he's finally met someone worth dating a 2nd and possibly 3rd time.

Posted by: woodnwine at June 3, 2008 11:13 AM

Timewarp

Where are you?

Most of us here are single people living alone, and it would be fairly distressing to learn that some accident has happened to any one of us, with no one to ask Where are you?

Are you well?

Posted by: virgil at June 3, 2008 10:59 AM

The rules of NRL and cant understand why they throw the ball backwards...

In Rugby (both kinds) the only forward movement of the ball allowed is kicking or running with it.

That is why if you are going to pass it to another player that player must be behind you, thus throwing backwards.

This is also true for any passing, a player on your own team in front of you is deamed off side so for kicking too all players eligable to touch the ball after a kick must be behind the kicker prior to the kick taking place.

Posted by: creativestuart at June 3, 2008 10:51 AM

eastofcdb

Your profile states you are trying to learn the rules of NRL and cant undersyand why they throw the ball backwards.

I have the same problem with AFL! Last week my team were world beaters crushing the 4th team on the ladder by 50 points.

This week, tow of our aging stars had a combined tally of 60 posessions, but were just chipping it round in the back half and got flogged by 100 poits.

Next week we might kick it forwards for a change, and win the game, we might even win enough games to finish 9th.

Hmmm better to finish bottom, and get the best young PLAYER in the country.

What an odd game, that rewards poor performance in that way.

Posted by: virgil at June 3, 2008 10:36 AM

QUOTE-

BM1960 - have had the same thought tonight. Have had FIVE replies to an earlier post by Grouches&Regurgitates knocked back throughout the day by the blog moderator... so maybe he IS the RSVP staffer in disguise. Seems unfair that I can be hammered so personally on here and given no right to reply...by firelightlady

end quote

You may end up looking very foolish if the moderator is in fact a woman. You have made an assumption that the moderator is a man and thus limiting your right to reply, ohhh the big bad patriarchy is oppressing you is it ?

Perhaps the moderator in their wisdom is not approving your posts to avoid this blog becoming nothing but a mudslinging arena

This retort is nothing but Misandry on your part.

Posted by: mgtow at June 3, 2008 9:53 AM

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at June 2, 2008 3:35 PM

Great stuff! It's really nice to have a genuine laugh and your posts can be excellent "circuit breakers".
Some times things on here get far too serious!

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 3, 2008 9:02 AM

I think most of us on RSVP are looking for the same thing, a long term relationship. I know I am. After being in a bad marriage for almost 30 years and then another relationship I thought was forever and got very badly burnt financially I am of course very cautious.
I am not prepared to "settle" for a man just for the sake of a partner. The word "chemistry" hasn't been used here and that is what makes up consider entering into a relationship. I guess it can be called sexual attraction. The downside to that is you both have to feel it. Love can of course grow over time, and friendships can sometimes grow into love, but I know for me I have to feel that "zing" can't help it that is me. I know out there somewhere is THE man for me, my one last love affair to last.
Don't bash me about my profile, I have just changed it and I know it is not all that informative, in fact an almost I don't care attitude, but I changed it after I met a guy for coffee last week and within 5 minutes he was asking if I was interested in having sex with him.
Sometimes I do wonder why I bother but I remain the eternal romantic optimist.

Posted by: eastofcbd at June 3, 2008 9:02 AM

i think that sometimes all the wishing and hoping and praying doesnt help. It makes us all seem too needy.

Go with the flow and let it happen..................

Posted by: twoeyes at June 3, 2008 8:39 AM

"how do you quantify the intangible, in anything less than abstract terms....I am hoping I will meet someone who will have that quality I didn't know I was looking for in a person, a sense of ease about them, a mutual "mojo" happening, and a implicit comfort in communication between us....I am not one for games, and love being able to talk to someone openly and honestly.... To know that you share the inappropriately timed humour, a penchant for random sillyness and an understanding of each others likes, loathes and loves...well how do you look for that....instinct, intuition, luck? a question for a better mind than mine i'm afraid......just a thought..................."

Posted by: spanky668 at June 2, 2008 10:37 PM

That's it !!!

Posted by: woodnwine at June 3, 2008 8:21 AM

iaminperth at June 2, 2008 8:22 PM

Cheers.

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 3, 2008 7:45 AM

Perth - I like what you have written also. I think that is so true. It's interesting how you can move into the comfortable part very quickly with someone and not another, even though the attraction can be just as strong.

There's also that not wanting to just settle. We have all come from a broken relationship/relationships, know the stats on second relationships and don't want to make the same old mistakes. We want it to be right. I suppose we can unconsciously put up blocks, not realising what we are doing.

Who knows how the connection will happen, but I have great confidence it will.

And really the journey has been so worthwhile. I have met some of the most wonderful men. Made great friends. Had great experiences. Learnt heaps. And he is there - somewhere! We just have to find each other!

Have a great day everyone.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at June 3, 2008 7:25 AM

I would like to see RSVP provide the facilities to personalize our profiles more,rather than having to suffer the generic,especially in the ideal partner section,just think it would take a lot of greyness and any potential misunderstanding of where the actual person is coming from,and to make a better informed decision to contact that person or not,just a thought(come on RSVP shouldn't be to hard)

Posted by: thetradey at June 3, 2008 6:49 AM

Hello Spanky, Loved your post tonight. I think that sums it up beautifully, but I also think that is more or less the second stage of starting a relationship. Once you have gotten over the meeting, summing each other up, thinking the will I, won't I bit, it's moving into the comfortable part which I tend to believe is the best part. Being able to talk openly and honestly, have a laugh and share some humour, all good stuff. As I have said previously I think a lot of people are not moving past the first part nowadays and are judging each other on silly trivia and petty nonsense. Unfortunately we seem to have become a very judgemental society with so many people 'not acceptable' nowadays. You only have to read magazines and see the derogatory comments that are written about trivia and nonsense and we live in a time of pop culture and pseudo psychological ravings and a lot of people are not getting past the wrappings. Shame, maybe that is why there are so many people looking, totally unrealistic expectations and simply not getting to know who the other person is.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 3, 2008 4:57 AM

Thanks Girls...
I guess I am self concious in photos. I would only have about 5 in my whole life I am happy with!

Also being the photographer I am usually the one on the other side of the camera!

I do have one I might try...

I have however started chatting to one lovely lady here so some of these questions I have posted are hyperthetical.

As for childern... As I said below.. I am open to the idea of ladies with kids already

It is not the girl or the child/ren, but the ex that brings the hesitation for me.

I have some male friends in broken families and whilst they are good "mates" I wouldn't want them to be part of a relationship I was trying to have with their ex.

.

Posted by: creativestuart at June 3, 2008 12:42 AM

BM1960 - have had the same thought tonight. Have had FIVE replies to an earlier post by Grouches&Regurgitates knocked back throughout the day by the blog moderator... so maybe he IS the RSVP staffer in disguise. Seems unfair that I can be hammered so personally on here and given no right to reply...

I imagine it is the customer service rep that was so utterly unhelpful about a failed stamp purchase last week! lol - not I hasten to add Karina who was very helpful :-)
Bless...
Yes, time to move on.

Posted by: firelightlady at June 2, 2008 11:53 PM

Hi everyone, sounds like the war on words continues! What are we looking for? I think everyone enters this site with an open mind and some of us with an open heart, but there are so many players and ego trippers here that the mind boggles! So many stories of people going to dates and finding the person they have contacted is many years older or does not look like anything in the photo they have posted.Karina, it is a virtual minefield this internet dating game and there are a lot of "dirtbags" who want to feel good by gaining a few kisses, and lead people on just to make themselves feel better.

Posted by: chas56 at June 2, 2008 11:21 PM

Spanky668 - 10.37pm. I think you should put some of what you have written here on your profile. It's so well written.

Good luck on your search.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at June 2, 2008 11:19 PM

What is this shawshank redemption code I keep reading about.

Posted by: justmekylie at June 2, 2008 11:12 PM

"What kind of relationship suits you , meet once a fortnight typ thing..i guess over my house have sex and a few laughs..or have i misread this>?"

This is an email I just got, from someone I agreed to have coffee with. Hmmmpf. Well this is what I am not looking for, but do they give you an idea in their profile, no.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at June 2, 2008 11:12 PM

Hey, Perth, just keep plugging away...
Take this for what it is l guess..... A site where many people with vastly differing opinions collide in a mish mash of words that sometimes make sense and sometimes not.....
.I also agree that mgtow's suggestion of a compliment kiss is good, although it has been suggested before l think...Maybe the powers that be may take another look at it....................K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 2, 2008 11:01 PM

"I Chose the Road Less Traveled -- Now Where the Heck Am I?"

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at June 2, 2008 3:35 PM

ER&L.........I love that, so funny.

Slightsynchronicity

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at June 2, 2008 10:51 PM

Gosh Kaz, you give an opinion and get shot down, you don't give an opinion and get shot down. In all my previous posts I thought I was being supportive and kept trying to be, sometimes you have to wonder what is the point and you get shot down anyway and what does that have to do with being nice.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 2, 2008 10:41 PM

If I could borrow a line from West Wing that I thought was apt on the topic "what are yoy searching for"..., "it's like pornography, I can't tell you what it is, but I know it when I see it"

....This seems to sum up my thoughts on the topic nicely...how do you quantify the intangible, in anything less than abstract terms....I am hoping I will meet someone who will have that quality I didn't know I was looking for in a person, a sense of ease about them, a mutual "mojo" happening, and a implicit comfort in communication between us....I am not one for games, and love being able to talk to someone openly and honestly.... To know that you share the inappropriately timed humour, a penchant for random sillyness and an understanding of each others likes, loathes and loves...well how do you look for that....instinct, intuition, luck? a question for a better mind than mine i'm afraid......just a thought...................

If I could also say, I think the the "compliment" kiss is a great idea, as I have been fortunate enough to encounter several wonderful people on this blog who would be well deserving.....stay beautiful people...cheers

Posted by: spanky668 at June 2, 2008 10:37 PM

Virgil, l have not said that Jacquie is not a nice person, just that it may be time to leave all the to and fro comments regarding authenticity where they belong. So why don't we do that, hhhmmm? ................K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 2, 2008 10:28 PM

Also Virgil TW or whoever or whatever he is still does say that and as I have said before just ignore it and it stops eventually, don't keep feeding these ridiculous accusations.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 2, 2008 10:26 PM

I am letting Jac be herself, that's exactly what I am saying, she knows who she is, she knows she is real so why go on about it. I don't remember defending myself and wanting to post photographs etc., I did register surprise at how stupid the suggestion was but that was it. Jac knows who she is, she knows she is real so why try to defend herself, that's all I am saying.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 2, 2008 10:24 PM

Hi Jac, Sorry you are not feeling too good, hope you feel better soon. I agree, I have found that also but I suppose it could be city boundaries. I had to laugh when I had a contact from "Sweden", all oobly doobly but the profile said distance 25kms, couldn't quite work that one out, but it all seemed a little suss anyway. Some people must have such huge egos and think the rest of the world are a bit silly I suppose. Get better soon.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 2, 2008 10:12 PM

Perth

Nobody said that about some of your posts following attacks on you by TW. Maybe its time to let Jacqui be herself.

Posted by: virgil at June 2, 2008 9:59 PM

Auntie Kaz

I feel you are being too hard on Jacqui.

She is a very nice person, and when you meet her at the blog meet I am sure you will like her.

Posted by: virgil at June 2, 2008 9:54 PM

Posted by: iaminperth at June 2, 2008 8:22 PM & Posted by: auntykaz at June 2, 2008 7:46 PM

Sorry guys.. points taken, didn't mean to come across in the ways described and apologies to anyone who has misconstrued any meaning..Have already moved on.... :-) (not feeling 100% well tonight, but no excuse).Sorry.... :-(

Anyway... on topic...... In the "search" criteria for "Location" I have found it frustrating that it isn't as accurate as it should be. A small issue for some (most?), yes, but fairly regularly I have found the search has been out about than 20 km or more when entering a particular km variance.

Good night,
Jac

Posted by: misspriss01 at June 2, 2008 9:50 PM

mgtow....what gave you the idea no one is interested in me? youre not a nice one are you? ..woodnw...i should have said people, but i was talking from a female's point of view....

Posted by: cutesmile52 at June 2, 2008 9:06 PM

Just skimmed through the blogs....think it may be best to turn the computer off...I made a pact with myself to be positive about everything this week so will avoid any negativity when I can....
I wish you all a wonderful week...
Cheers,
B. :-)

Posted by: bm1960 at June 2, 2008 8:56 PM

Please OG don't reincarnate him, it overwhelms and spoils the blogs.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 2, 2008 8:49 PM

I would like to see the compliment feature also. I think it would lead to e-mails as well, especially if the person lived overseas and was not looking for a relationship but as a pen friend. I think it would liven up the site also as it becomes a little bogged down at times with the same old, same old.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 2, 2008 8:32 PM

Agree entirely Kaz, Priss you are coming across as a rather obsessive person, determined to prove something to people you don't even know exist. Are you this obsessive in real life. May be something to think about. You cannot take photos of people and post them or send them to people you don't know without written consent also I would think you are in danger of sabbotaging the meetings altogether as some people will be feeling uncomfortable already, I know I would be. You need to take stock and actually start to blog as this is what this site is a blog site.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 2, 2008 8:22 PM

Posted by: mgtow at June 2, 2008 6:58 PM
That's a really nice thought and great idea mgtow :-)!

Regards,

Missy P :-), Jacqui.

Posted by: misspriss01 at June 2, 2008 7:54 PM

Yes misspriss it is a tad tedious to also read your incessant replies back to those who you think are "deviant, twisted miscreants".
As far as l can see in the last few days you have referred to these people several times and yet they haven't posted anything derogatory towards you.....
So maybe let it go, or risk boring all and sundry with it again..................K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 2, 2008 7:46 PM

Posted by: auntykaz at June 2, 2008 6:36 PM

Hi AuntyKaz, - absolutely totally agree with you :-). To be honest, I don't really want to (and have also thought about the privacy issues regarding others rights as to whether or not they would like their photo taken since my last post) I just feel like I am continually having to prove that I exist to my "detractors". Having thought it through further I don't see why I should, as I have been 100% upfront and honest in regards to who I am and if only a couple of individuals still have issues with that then that is entirely their problem and they need to move on from it - besides it is a tad tedious for the rest of the bloggers and wasted energy on their behalf (ie the "detractors" directing wasted energy towards me- does that make sense?). Having said that I can empathise with their misgivings as there are deviant, twisted miscreants (sic) in this world who take pleasure in hurting others intentionally (and this is definitely NOT me).

Take care and hope to chat again soon :-),

Kind regards,

Jac

Posted by: misspriss01 at June 2, 2008 7:24 PM

A feature I would like to see is the ability to send someone a compliment.

Rather than a kiss a compliment can be used to show appreciation of something someone has said in profile or if they have a great smile etc.

This way if you don't have a interest in the person but would like to compliment them they will not get the wrong message or idea, it would be totally platonic

Often I have read a profile or seen a photo that I believe deserves a compliment even if I have no interest in the person

Perhaps this would help to make the world a better place for all those singles out there.

Posted by: mgtow at June 2, 2008 6:58 PM

Misspriss, before you go taking pics of people at a blogmeet with the idea of maybe sending them on or putting them here, you probably should be asking their permission.
It after all will be a privately organised meeting of people.
Just a thought regarding other peoples wishes in that regard....................K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 2, 2008 6:36 PM

Posted by: creativestuart at June 2, 2008 3:02 PM

If you want advice on the best way to present your photos, have a look at the profile photos of the men in the Top 100.

What I notice about those guys on the top 100 is that they look comfortable in their own skin. They look happy and comfortable where they are.

However, the message I get from your main photo is one of submissiveness. You look like you want to be 'rescued' or something. Basically, you don't look very happy where you are. But that's only my perception.

Then there's the out of date photo. The message that I get loud and clear from that photo is: I HATE MY PRESENT LIFE.

I don't think there are many women out there looking for a man who lives in the past or yearns for the past.

I think most women (and me included) are looking for a man who is happy in his own skin and is happy with his PRESENT life.

Why don't you take a photo with your shoulders back, your head held high and smiling? How about a photo outside during a beautiful sunny day?

Please don't be offended. I only mean to help. But good luck. By the way, I won't be offended if you don't take my advice. I'm just happy to give it because you asked for it.

Posted by: lovemuzik at June 2, 2008 6:07 PM

hi creative just a couple of thoughts, you are 41, so realistically, a lot (but not all) of the women you meet may already have children, or do you consider children are baggage?

I think you need to be more realistic with your expectations on age and children....personally I think if you haven't had kids by 40 it is too late and I believe that children need parents young enough to do all the kid stuff with them, but that is my personal opinion.

So your age range needs to be more realistic, say 32 -40. But you need to consider you may meet someone wonderful, with one or 2 kids, but who may want one more. And children are not baggage, the ex's and past emotions are the baggage. So change the age thing and be more open on exsiting children.

The rest of your profile was quite good. So good luck with it...and remember these are just my thoughts...jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at June 2, 2008 5:13 PM

Creativestuart; I think your profile sounds genuine, and has all the elements a genuine girl would be looking for.
However the age group you are seeking for a potential partner for procreation (possibly) would probably be attracted to a little more spice in your profile. (Please don�t take that the wrong way).
Therefore if you could sort of make your profile seem a little more like the meat with the spices, then you should get some more attention.
I have included a sample profile with this that might give you an idea. This guy isn�t in my age group I seek, and lives in another state, and although I wasn�t looking to have contact with someone again so a far away as I have already been in contact with someone, I was tempted to accept his kiss based on his profile character.
He made me laugh. I guess it stirred some emotion, and displayed his personality more so, rather than a shopping list.
It�s just a suggestion, (not a must). Your profile is fine as it is, but if it isn�t working, then maybe you could try a different approach, if you have to. Maybe more photos, showing you smiling. Woman can be very visual as well when it comes to selecting a mate for mating. I sound like Marcus now. Ouch!
(Sample profile) THERE IS MUCH MUCH MORE BEHIND THE BRAD PIT LOOKS,YA RIGHT! I like exploring new interests. I have a GREAT SENSE OF HUMOUR, and am very independent .I always work hard to be positive, I enjoy spending time with good friends, and connecting with new people. I must admit I am not a huge fan of loads of facial hair, ONLY JOKIING. Ladies with beards can apply. I have 2 beautiful kids whom I adore and love dearly they are my heart and soul. I have a great network of friends, and I�m glad each one of them is in my life. All of them have great qualities. I believe that a good friendship is a good base for a great Relationship. I am uncomplicated, and Young at Heart, I take the good times with the bad. ENJOY LIFE THE BEST YOU CAN. THERE IS PLENTY OF TIME TO BE DEAD.

Posted by: gemsnbling at June 2, 2008 4:40 PM

The Children thing is interesting as I said below...

To add to this...
Do the girls who want children only consider the guys who want them or do they also concider the undecided?

A better category for RSVP perhaps would be children? Yes if the opportunity presents itself
i.e. not desparate but also not indecisive!

Posted by: creativestuart at June 2, 2008 4:39 PM

Woody @12.14 pm.
About time that was said.

Wombat @ 1.16 pm
Another gem, men 2 women par.

Jewels 1.45pm, that needed to be said too, men2 women 1

cutesmile, that needed to be said too. men 2 women 2

Wombat, good comeback but has been done before, no score.

Tw better come back, don't like this job. lol.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at June 2, 2008 4:36 PM

Basically how do you stand out if you are actually here for the real deal? creativestuart. What you do is ask on the blogs and then everyone takes a look and you go up the chart in the top 100, that could be a way I think. Personally I don't like your photo at all, makes you look a little sleazy with your curly bit dropping down over your forehead and the shirt opened a little too much. No, you could take a much better photo of yourself.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 2, 2008 4:19 PM

creative - personally I think you're aiming too low at 26 and this may make some women think you're not genuine. Try sticking closer to your own age .... women in their 30s are quite capable of having children. I know I am always a bit put off when I see a woman who is seeking a man 15 years younger than themselves as I wonder if they are looking for compatabily and a relationship or just some fun.

Posted by: woodnwine at June 2, 2008 3:38 PM

slightsynchronicity at June 1, 2008 10:33 PM and gemsnbling at June 2, 2008 10:54 AM
(You blokes could go down the corner and buy a $9.95 book about things on women, or it could be a penny for your thoughts. )

"I Chose the Road Less Traveled -- Now Where the Heck Am I?"

HEIGHT:
Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"

WEIGHT:
"I'm in Shape -- Round Is a Shape"

APPEARANCE:
jaspercat at June 1, 2008 3:24 PM
"Beauty is only a light switch away."

THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND:
Guys-
"No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap !"

Gals-
"If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it."

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at June 2, 2008 3:35 PM

in reply...i just skimmed through your profile and i think that the column "children" might be an issue with some...if you want children you should specify maybe/undecided...and most women 30+ already have children...

Posted by: cutesmile52 at June 2, 2008 3:34 PM

"i think some of these men should sort themselves out on here!
Posted by: cutesmile52 at June 2, 2008 2:01 PM"

I think lots of people should sort themselves out on here.

Posted by: woodnwine at June 2, 2008 3:18 PM

"Men use affection to get sex, and women use sex to get affection"
Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at June 2, 2008 1:16 PM

Then everyone gets what they want ....... or do they?

Posted by: woodnwine at June 2, 2008 3:15 PM

quote

"i think some of these men should sort themselves out on here!" - cutesmile52

because they do not concur with your views or they have no interest in you then they are in the wrong ?

this is just more misandry

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