RSVP Blog

Bah. Can’t sleep and the sedative hasn’t kicked in yet. I was doing some thinking about how the world could end (maybe that is why I can’t sleep :) and to be honest, it looks pretty good in the short term.

Stoic’s List of The End of the World or At Least the End of Human Civilization Possibilities

100% Certainty ie Absolutely Will Happen:

1. Our Sun going nova/dying out

Well not actually nova, but eventually our sun will reach the halfway point of its lifespan where it will begin to expand into a red giant, enveloping everything this side of Jupiter, before most likely shrinking into a white dwarf. Naturally everything on earth will be incinerated, but we still have a few billion years before it happens.

The alternative is that the sun simply fades after using up all its fuel and everything in this solar system freezes and dies.

Highly Likely Chance of Happening:

1. A massive asteroid impact.

It has happen several times in the past, and probabilities say it is only a matter of time before it happens again. It is likely it will happen before the sun goes nova, but we may get lucky and have all the really big ones miss us. But so long as we have team of rough but "lovable" oil workers willing to go into space and drill holes in the asteroid to plant nuclear weapons in, Hollywood assures us we will be fine.

Other Probable Possibilities:

1. A mutated/engineered viral outbreak ala I Am Legend, The Stand etc

I think it is unlikely to be a naturally occurring virus. All the worst ones like Ebola kill their host so quickly that the virus does not have time to mutate and spread, so outbreaks tend to be localized. But add in mutation and engineering (and possibly weaponization) and the possibility is there.

2. Global Nuclear War

Possible but unlikely. China and Russia are making too much money to risk rocking the boat and wiping out their customers. In the event of a nuclear exchange, Pakistan and India would most likely nuke each other, as would Iran and Israel, and if their last test is anything to go by, North Korea would miss whoever they would aim at and up nuking themselves. No doubt there would be great upheavals and much gnashing of teeth, but nothing on a planet destroying level.

Outside Chances:

1. The aforementioned LHC black hole.

Theoretically possible but unlikely (I hope ;)

2. A Zombie Outbreak

Don’t laugh too hard. A mutated toxoplasmosa gondii parasite could infect humans (the ordinary, non-mutated kind that change the behaviour of mice already do infect humans but aren't able to control our behaviour....yet ;).

There is also an enhanced sort of neurotoxin (think Serpent and the Rainbow and the case of Clairvius Narcisse).

There is neurogenesis and reanimation - as was done with rats hearts not too long ago. Yes, scientists got clinically dead rat hearts to start beating again, and they did it in a petri dish - not even inside a dead rat.

And then there are Nanobots - microscopic, self-replicating robots that can enter your brain and create, or destroy, or rearrange your neural connections and pathways - and nobody would even know it was happening to them.

All of these could cause a huge zombie outbreak :)

3. An Alien Invasion

Again it is possible (though there is no evidence either way if aliens exist or not) but one would hope that if they were advanced enough to overcome the very non-trivial challenge of faster than light and interstellar travel, they would not be wasting time on our backward, pre-light speed travel planet :)

4. A Robot Uprising ala Terminator, The Matrix

Again it is possible but one would hope with the movies serving as warnings, we would not put robots and computers in charge of vital defense and military assets. What''s thatyou say ? The British Ministry of Defense has bought some Predator B/ Reaper MQ-9 hunter-killer unmanned aerial vehicles? That sounds cool. Huh? And they put them under the control of a computer system called Skynet? Why do I know that name? Sya what? THat is the name of the computer that takes control over and destroys humanity in the Terminator movies? Thye did that evn with the movies as warings? oh dear... perhasp this one should be higher on the list :)

Posted by: stoic at June 18, 2008 2:46 AM

Gotta avoid taking your talking points from Al Gore and Tim Flannery.

AGW (as opposed to climate change) is a myth. The Czech President is the only political leader with any courage to call it out for the scam and power grab that it is and not pander to the scum pushing it to try and buy votes (and I am including John Howard and George Bush in that assessment)

Yes there is climate change. The climate has been changing every day since this planet came into existence. In the past It has been much warmer and much colder than it is now (all before the industrial revolution).

Yes we can have an effect on the environment. I don't want chemicals pumped into the water. I don't want actual dangerous chemicals like sulfur or chlorine pumped into the atmosphere (they tend to result in acid rain) etc. Those are things that do pose a problem and it is something we can and should control. No arguments there.

Carbon dioxide however is plant food and it makes up between 0.03% and 0.06% of the atmosphere. You want to worry about greenhouse gases? Worry about water vapour.

Pretending for a moment that the amount of carbon Australia produces has any bearing on anything, with China alone bringing on several new coal powered plants every month, any cuts Australia makes will have no effect whatsoever.

But that doesn't matter to lefties and greenies. It doesn't matter that the poor are going to be the ones who suffer the most with increase fuel and energy costs (and thus increases prices in everything that uses fuel and energy). Destroying the global market economy is fine, as long as lefties and greenies get to make their useless gestures (and more importantly force everyone else to do the same) and feel good about themselves, that is all that matters to them. As stated I will not force people to pay the price and increase their cost of living so others can get off about how good and caring they are.

Not to mention all the hypocritical worms taking plane trips all over the world and holding massive concerts and talk fests in order to tell everyone to reduce their carbon output.

And alas my world will not be a utopia, not by any stretch of the imagination. Life will still be tough and it will still be unfair. My goal is to make it easier and to give people as much freedom as possible so they get on with their (hopefully) easier lives as they see fit.

The only thing I am encouraging is freedom. What people choose to do with their freedom is up to them and they will have to deal with any consequences of how they use their freedom.

I fully give credit to Keating for introducing Super. He saw a problem on the horizon and took steps to address it. Well done. I still think he is a vile politician and person but all credit to him for Super. It was a good policy at the time and remains so.

And I agree with you on education. That is why I want the education voucher system able to be used in any school. Currently parents either have to be able to afford to pay generally large private school fees or have to be able to afford to buy a house and move into certain areas to get into a desired state schools. That is a less than ideal situation.

Kaz - you can ration it to one glass a week or pour it all into your tub and bathe in it. It doesn't matter to me. It is that thing called freedom :)

Of course this whole thing could be moot. In a couple of months, the world's largest particle accelerator (google LHC) will collide two particles in an attempt to recreate the effects of the Big Bang, with the theoretical possibility of creating a mini black hole which could continue to grow and end up consuming the earth - which will seriously suck...

Sorry. It's late and I need sleep. Couldn't help myself :)

Posted by: stoic at June 18, 2008 12:32 AM

Well stoic, how about l put in for a ration of those bottles, and not all at once.....Me being selfless and all, wouldn't want them all at the same time, after all a victory party would surely be worthy of some nice top shelf stuff to savour.......
I am thinking 2 a week....but only on the weekends..................K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 17, 2008 10:54 PM

Stoic. Why would 'drug' trafficking attract the death penalty in your Utopia? The State sanctioned trafficking of tobacco and alchohol, by far the major problem drugs, is being encouraged.
The sort of ridiculous, libertarian nonsense you are spouting is so impractical it has never been tried.
The proven way to ensure freedom and liberty is to provide education in an egalitarian setting. From that comes full employment which is the best way of saving; in the form here of Keatings tremendously succesful compulsory super.
Talk about critical mass of idiots. You and OG the Irradiator. The symptoms of global warming are obvious and sinister. What if human emission reduction can prevent it getting to a critical high tempoerature feedback state and ending like Venus?
Do we just sit back and watch a few public executions?
Haha. Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 17, 2008 10:51 PM

Good Kaz. Never let it be said that I am not willing to compromise :)

Posted by: stoic at June 17, 2008 10:34 PM

Yeah Kaz. You should be more selfless... like having the full force of government smash down upon individuals, stealing their hard earned money and volunteering it for spending, trying to dictate how they live their lives.
That is much more selfless (and melodramatic) :)

Posted by: stoic at June 17, 2008 10:10 PM

Stoic, you got yourself a deal..................K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 17, 2008 10:03 PM

Amber - it is the left that has destroyed personal responsibility. Socialism destroys personal responsibility. Demanding everything be provided by the government destroys it. Excusing criminals as has been done over the past 30 years (they had a tough childhood, they are poor, it is society's fault etc) and the frivolous lawsuits about every little "injustice", every hurt feeling, every lack of a sign or warning label, all destroy it. Every comment about it taking a village to raise a child when all it takes is dedicated and loving parents taking responsibility for their offspring destroys personal responsibility.
I know the fact is that 80% Australians earn less than 100k a year -that is why I want most of them to be as absolutely tax free as possible - so they keep everything they earn and have a chance at saving and providing for their future. That is why I want to keep everything as cheap as possible (food, housing, fuel, energy etc) unlike the ALP which is going to smash the poor by introducing the fraud of carbon trading under the guise of the biggest fraud of this millennium (even bigger than the Y2K scam) Anthropogenic Global Warming.
Not me. I refuse to make the poor (and everyone else) suffer because of a sickening need for power to dictate the lives of others.
Virgil - absolutely not. I hate smoking. I hate the smell of it. I am always yelling at my own mother when she comes over and smokes outside an open window of mine because I don't want it in my house. I have never smoked a cigarette and never will. But I will never ban it or tell anyone that they can't do it. While I am sure there are plenty of totalitarian wannabes out there who would, I will not. I don't want to run people's lives for them.
You are right about having a critical mass of idiots but that is no excuse to deny freedom and liberty to everyone else. They are free to be idiots and under my government, they will face any and all consequences of that.
OG - the problem with radiation treatment is that it still leaves them out on the street. Justice will be streamlined under my administration. Most juvenile offences and non-violent crimes will be dealt with Singapore rattan style.
The more serious offenders and violent criminals will be sent to prisons where they will also face the rattan. And for the worst offences (eg wilful murder, rape, paedophilia, drug trafficking, and treason) they will be swinging in the breeze.
And Kaz - while I would love to secure your vote, I can't in good conscience put that in my policy platform. That being said, I will be making bubbly much cheaper than it is now and if you vote for me I promise you can have all the leftover and unopened bottles from my victory party. Deal? :)

Posted by: stoic at June 17, 2008 9:42 PM

Marcus, now, now, if you like l will share............K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 17, 2008 9:07 PM

auntykaz at June 17, 2008 7:26 PM
I'm so glad that our nations future social policies are decided by unstintingly selfless people like you...
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 17, 2008 8:46 PM

Stoic, if you also put in your election preamble that Auntykaz gets a nice bottle of bubbly every week l will vote for ya.........................K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 17, 2008 7:26 PM

Hi Amber,
Well I have always read you posts in interest, while I admit I do not always agree with the soft approach you adopt I do conceed some points. But not on this occassion.
I have serving and ex Prison personell, talking to them they would vehemently disagree with you about the rehab of what they consider to be little more that animals, in private that is, so strike the front line officers. One of the things the Guards would like to see is the parole boards and the shrinks held responsible for the people they let out back into society as accessories before the fact, for any crimes committed after release. Like to guess how many there would be certain that rehab was a success, none would be my guess..

A recently deceased Brother of mine was a pioneer in the Police force with the Victims of Crime association, considered your, "decent, effective and properly funded anger management and self responsibility training" as a waste of resourses and a joke that the prisoners would take advantage of. This was from a high ranking officer that spent 20 years with the VOC organisation, with awards for Bravery and Commendations from the Premier, so he was not inexperienced.
My point would be who did the assesment in the first place to let her into that environment, kitchens don't work without knives and any amount of harm causing scenarios. I bet the person who did was not held responsible or would take responsibility for the incident, so I am all for self responsibility and have been all my life.
The point of punishment by radiation when fully considered is more humanitarian that the beastalising of a prisoner, and saves about (the last time I heard) $90,000 a year per prisoner.

Virg.
Stoics whole point is that you may do what you want inside what he allows, but you are right about the idiots and no hopers, what are your thoughts on them?

Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at June 17, 2008 1:06 PM

Its all very well to say what we might do, from the safety of knowing such things will never happen. Sadly, our society moves from left to right and back again, in an ever decreasing arc.

Many good points stoic. Not sure about the zero tax on cigarettes. Maybe that would make it easier to ban them outright!

Thing is, your model would work if people could act sensibly, but with an almost critical mass of idiots and no hopers running around, the country would quickly descend into chaos.

Posted by: virgil at June 17, 2008 11:05 AM

OG,
Once you've done that then wouldn't criminals have even less to live for? What then stops that person from "taking as many people with them" as they are able?
A bit like the person with AIDS who thinking they have a death sentence themselves, then decides to "pay back" society by infecting as many other people as she/he can.

I think stoic's idea of "self-responsibility" is great, but there still needs to be a certain amount of compassion. What about young people who get involved with "dead beat" life-long criminals?
Decent, effective and properly-funded rehab programs (which people who work in the prison system are begging for) which focus on anger management and self responsibility, should be tried first.
If someone is resistant to this, then maybe throw away the key?
That case which stoic cited about the girl who killed the TAFE lecturer, to me she should have been in a secure mental health facility, not an ordinary youth detention centre.
So maybe her lawyers are right, but getting money for her should not be the object, intensive treatment should be.
If that doesn't work then for the sake of the rest of society she should be locked away permanently in a secure mental health facility.
Many of those in our prisons actually have severe mental health problems, which the system does nothing to fix, but actually makes worse.
To the detriment of all of us.

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 17, 2008 10:26 AM

Actually stoic,
Surprisingly, I actually agree with a lot of what you have said! (not all of it, of course)
Despite the fact I tend to "lean" to the Left, I think personal responsibility is one thing that we seem to have discouraged in our society. We are always looking for someone else to blame these days, if our life goes awry.
Even if it was our choice and actions, that caused the problem!

However, the fact is that 80% of Australians earn a lot less than $100,000.
Even the so-called "average" wage is a myth for many Australians, especially those working as the underdogs in retail, hospitality, and for carers in child-care and aged-care. Yet these people are the back-bone of our society!
How do these people save for their future? When they are struggling to buy a house and raise a family?

On the radio this morning they were talking about the changes to Fringe Benefits, and how charities and agencies such as Centrecare and Anglicare who pay lower wages for their workers use salary packaging to make themselves competitive.
This will now affect Family Payments, etc in a big way.
I have not bothered with salary packaging in my own job, even though I could, because the CSA has always taken a completely different approach to this. I would be paying my ex a fortune, because I would actually be assessed by the CSA to be earning thousands MORE than I do as a standard PAYE taxpayer!

I have the major care of our son, and buy him his clothes, shoes, pay his sports fees, school fees, haircuts, etc.
My ex has him 3 nights a fortnight and buys him nothing, despite having been receiving over a third of our son's family payment since we separated.
He works part-time in a PAYE job and runs his own business in which he gets lots of "cash in hand" work.
On "paper" he earns $10-12,000,00 a year less than I do.
Under the New system I will still have to pay him some child support for the 3 nights a fortnight he has our son.
Because I earn more than he does, according to the tax system.
I don't see this as particularly fair, but I can do nothing about it, that is the way it is.

How would your system impact on someone like me?

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 17, 2008 9:58 AM

Well posted Stoic, add to that the firearms still be licenced but available, then make it a mandatory 10 year sentence on top of the normal sentence in the commission of a crime, so conversely do not build any more prisons but build sites to administer a suitable dose of radiation that will reduce their life span by the required amount, put them back out on the streets at a minimal cost and save the money of sustaining them in prison and negate the money wasteage you described with the knife incident. That saving alone would aid in the drain on consolidated revenue
Now I have taken my hearing aids out to avoid the screams and wailing of the bleeding hearts, but look forward to reading their rantings.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at June 17, 2008 8:54 AM

Nope. No taxes on cigarettes and alcohol. Just because some are irresponsible and will abuse their new found freedom, that is absolutely no excuse to limit the freedom of others who enjoy partaking in their particular vice. That being said, it your life and you will take personal responsibility for whatever happens - it goes hand in hand with freedom.

It is not for others to fund their treatment. It will be up to them to provide for their own health care and treatment. They will have a lifetime of keeping every cent they earn under $100,000 (or whatever). Everyone today knows the risks. If people still decide to spend their money on things other than saving and providing for any possible treatment as a result of their vices, well they have that right, that freedom to do so, but then they take personal responsibility for it and live with the consequences and not expect everyone else to bail them out. Freedom is a two way street.

I will not, as a government go up to people who have provided for themselves and done the responsible thing and say "Good on you for being responsible and self reliant. Now hand over more of your hard earned money so you can pay for those who have not been responsible and now want to be bailed out, or else."

If they want to volunteer to help out, then I will shake their hand again and say "Good on you. You do yourself credit." but I will not force them to do so.

Now as for the elderly, the disabled, and carers - if I had my way today I would scrap every bullshit "green" energy rebate, every cent of arts funding (those professional bludgers will stop sucking the blood of the taxpayer and will be forced to produce something that people are willing to pay them for or get another a job), and the $35 million paid to Toyota (weren't they the same company that got nearly a billion dollar tax bill from the tax office 12-18 months ago?) to do what they had already decided to do (and probably any number of other bullshit programs the government wastes our money on) and put it straight into elderly, disabled, and most definitely carer support.

I probably should have stated it earlier, but the no tax below $100,000 or whatever threshold will be phased in. It is really only in the last 10 years that we have had consistent tax cuts (albeit far less than deserved). That means a great many years that the elderly have been working and taxed to the eyeballs and I would not feel comfortable saying "Thanks for working for the last 40 years and handing all your hard earned money, but now you are on your own."

I would also steal the one tangible and sensible thing Barack Obama has said and make any income earned by anyone over 65 from any kind of work totally tax free and I would do that starting today -though I would probably go 60 myself.

I made the campaign promise that law and order would be central and I do intend that to be the case. I am thinking being drunk or drugged should be an aggravating circumstance rather than a mitigating one, calling for, say an automatic tripling of the sentence. If the standard sentence for driving irresponsibly and causing grevious bodily harm is 5 years, then if you do that to someone while drunk, the sentence is automatically 15 years.

It is that personal responsibility again. Yeah you can drink until you can't stand up if you want, but you are going to have to deal with any consequences resulting from that. "I was drunk and didn't know what I was doing/wasn't in control of my actions" will no longer cut it.

And talking of personal responsibility, I see this online. If this does not highlight everything I have said that is wrong with society, I don't know what does:

****************
Teen teacher killer sues state

A WOMAN imprisoned for fatally stabbing her juvenile detention cooking teacher is suing the state of NSW for allowing her access to knives.
The Daily Telegraph reports Debbie Adams was just 16 when she stabbed TAFE teacher Scott Bremmer, 23, during a cooking class at Yasmar Juvenile Justice Centre in July 1999.

She was jailed for manslaughter until 2012.

Now 25, Adams is suing the state for negligence, saying authorities should have known she had an "unusually enhanced interest in knives''.

"The defendant ... ought to have known that (Adams) was a dangerous and violent person, had an unusually enhanced interest in knives (and had) used knives to threaten and assault others,'' documents lodged by Adams's lawyers to the Supreme Court said.

Her lawyer, John Turnbull, said: "What should have been done could have been done before the incident.

"It's ... akin to false imprisonment. It's imprisonment as a result of negligence.''
****************

That's right. It is not that she is a lowlife criminal scumbag who deserves to be strung up from the nearest tree branch for murdering someone trying to help, it is the state's fault for providing classes and rehabilitation programs. Utterly disgusting.

Posted by: stoic at June 17, 2008 12:05 AM

Okay Stoic,
No taxes on cigarettes and alcohol? So how do you fund the care of those who develop long-term disabling illnesses from the use of these drugs?

What about the disabled and older frail-aged people? How do you propose to find the money to care for them?
In fact, how exactly will you fund health?

And what about welfare? There are those who genuinely just can't work (perhaps not quite as many as we support now) those with long-term physical illnesses, mental illness, severe intellectual disability.

Also child protection services, as all those people who can now drink alcohol freely and cheaply go home to their families and terrorise their wives and children? Lived through that myself as a child, in the days when there was no place to go except the side of the road in a car.

How would your low-tax, liberal society deal with these people?

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 16, 2008 8:38 AM

Virgil - a few good comments.

I thought the republic was soundly defeated last time. And like you, I voted no because I do not want politicians to have any more power. And the ONLY way I will support a parliament-appointed president (even if the position is ceremonial) is if all my previous provisos were met - ie no former politicians, union leaders, sports people etc. Failing that, I will be voting No when that model comes up again.

What messed up the society given by TW and OG's generation is the welfare and paternalism mentality that has come up since the 60's and 70's where everyone thinks they are entitled to something for nothing from the government or society or whoever. That is the cancer that has riddled society. Mark Twain said it best when he said "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."

It is the death of personal responsibility that is killing society. The belief that someone else is to blame or it is someone else's responsibility to do something is the problem. I remember one case where this idiot got drunk and dived off some rocks into shallow water, hitting another rock and paralysed himself. He sued the local council (and initially won millions) because "they should have signs up" or something equally as stupid. Bullshit. I remember back in year 3 or 4 and working through the Kangaroo Creek Gang Safety Book. Not diving off rocks and into water where you don't know how deep it is is not being safe. It was covered. During swimming lessons (both in and out of school) we were told "do not dive head first into water until you know how deep it is". Anytime we went to an Aunt and Uncle's place that had a pool, both they and my parents would tell us "Don't dive into the water at this (the shallow) end."

What the court should have said, when they were done laughing, was "You have nobody to blame but yourself. Nobody forced you to drink so much as to lose control of your common sense and nobody forced you go diving while you were drunk. We are not going to make the innocent rate payers in this shire pay for your self-inflicted stupidity". I do believe the initial win was overturned on appeal but the fact it even got up at all is a disgrace. But most people want everyone else to pay for their lives and their wants.

As I have said all along, the only thing anyone owes anyone else is to respect their individual rights and to leave them alone to get on with their lives with as minimal impact as possible.

What would I do specifically about the varied salaries? Nothing. There is nothing moral that can be done. If someone has worked hard and applied themselves and gotten their skills to be in such a demand that they can get a million dollar salary (though I would LOVE to know what I have to do to get in on these million dollar salaries) then to my mind they are to congratulated and emulated. It is not for government to say to business "No. You cannot pay that person that salary". Similarly it is not for government to say to people "No. You are not allowed to earn that salary." If a business is willing to pay a person that amount, that is not the government's business.

What the government can and must do is put as little a burden on all citizens as possible.

Now, assuming I usurped dictatorial powers and could do whatever I wanted...

Just picking a figure, say an even 100,000. No income tax before that. Every single dollar your earn you will keep, then after that a flat marginal rate of ideally not more than 15%. The actual figure would probably come out at closer to 70 or 80,000 and probably a rate of 20% after that but yeah - no deductions or anything, no rebates, no salary sacrificing to save on tax (since you will be paying so little of it) just the absolute bare minimum of tax. I will look at dropping the corporate rate to 25% to make Australia even more attractive to business. Business = jobs.

I would slash the fuel excise to only the amount that is required for road maintenance. I read somewhere that roughly 11% of the current fuel excise taxes is required for building and maintaining roads (though less than that is actually spent). The rest goes into general revenue. So based on that 11% figure, the current 38c/litre excise will become 4.2c/litre excise. Production is now cheaper, transport is now cheaper, and so your grocery prices (among others) are now cheaper.

Similarly, the taxes on cigarettes and alcohol will be greatly reduced, if not eliminated altogether. It is your money and your life. What you choose to do with them is up to you. You should not have to pay the government to enjoy a drink or a smoke.

All stamp duty will be scrapped (of course it was supposed to be scrapped with the introductions of the GST but the state governments had other ideas) - the fact that we have to pay the government for the privilege of buying a house and/or land is outrageous and nothing more than legalised theft.

I don't know about the rest of Australia but here in WA the main cause of sky rocketing house prices is a lack of available land - once again a deliberate move by the state government in delaying and minimising zoning approvals for residential properties. A shortage of land = higher prices= more stamp duty for the thieving scum.

Accordingly all government land will be sold off, a priority given to residential zonings. Here in WA, I would stop the deliberate and malicious state government delays on a new clay brick factory that has been badly needed to ease production shortages, taking one more pressure off housing costs.

I will provide a greater education revolution than some bullshit about giving a laptop to every student. I'd be looking at introducing education vouchers provided to parents that will be usable in any school that meets the minimum academic requirements (giving parents access to schools they currently would not have access to). It will be up to the schools to woo parents and their vouchers, and so in their interest to reward and keep the good teachers and turf the bad out on their arse, all of it hopefully leading to a higher standard of education all round.

It is getting late, but so far I have slashed taxes, reduced fuel costs, eased the housing crisis and made it affordable, reduced the cost of food and those vices that make life enjoyable for those who choose to partake, and helped everyone access a better standard of education, all the while maintaining my prior commitment that "I was informed that their main interest is liberty and that in that cause I am doing the very best I can."

Posted by: stoic at June 16, 2008 1:27 AM

Rokinon, that's the most sensible thing anyone has said on the bogs all weekend!

Totally agree - people should get their own act together before bouncing around all over the place. Whatever unresolved issues they carry from their last relationship will just spill onto any new one. Very sensible what you did. Well said, and on topic too :)

Posted by: riversong01 at June 15, 2008 11:02 PM

Thanks Amber.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 15, 2008 10:46 PM

The generation before the baby boom gen, gave us a much more egalitarian society, My parents generation, That of TW and OG.

Didnt take us long to stuff it up.

Now kids cant afford a home of their own.
Our generations legacy to our children?

Assets once owned by taxpayers, now in the hands of foreign corporations.

Posted by: virgil at June 15, 2008 8:54 PM

Stoic.

What would be your policy on the increasing polarisation of this society, whereby the haves, often command a salary in excess of a million dollars, and the have nots exist on an hourly rate under $20 an hour?

Posted by: virgil at June 15, 2008 8:46 PM

What I find most distasteful is the chaging nature of Australian Society.
In the 1970's there was a much higher proportion of homes built by the State Housing Commission, in affordable areas like Medina, Balga etc. This would give many a start in real estate ownership, that would see them do well, at an affordable price.

Posted by: virgil at June 15, 2008 8:43 PM

Good advice, Perth

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 15, 2008 8:30 PM

The Presidential Model

In our referendum of 10 years ago, my recollection is that the republic was narrowly defeated.

I was one who voted against a republic at the time because I felt I wanted the people to elect the president, as is done in the USA.

I knew if I voted for the model that pollies elect the president, that would be our system forever, but similar to WA daylight saving referendums, if the result comes out wrong, just keep having them till you get the right result.

Posted by: virgil at June 15, 2008 8:22 PM

Hi to all.I am a new commer to blog so I will just say what I think then sit back and wait for the barrage of comments Ha ha .Deep down I dont think anyone should"Pay" for the ending of a relationship .We have all had relationships that have ended badly but its up to the people involved to sit back after everything has imploded and dust themselves off and have a good hard look at how to move forward.It may take some time to get your compass back on track but it does happen.Personally ,I was married for 18 years and apon my divorce decided to hang back a little.I had been out of the loop for that long that I really didnt know how to move forward and deep down whether I was ready.Thats the key.Rebounding from one partner to the next may be ok for some but to have a good honest relationship with someone that you care about it isnt right to dump the trash of a previous relationship onto them.
It took 18 months and a lot of soul searching to finally dip my toe into the pond and enter into a relationship and quite frankly it was worth every one of those night during that 18 months that I felt lonely.Entering into a new relationship without all the heartache of a prior one formost in your mind was awsome and allowed for the new relationship to grow.
So here I am 15 months after that finished with my partner passing away from breast cancer.Its a little different this time around but I have resisted the temptation to enter into a rebound relationship for 2 reasons.
I had to honestly say to myself that I was ready to move forward.
I had to consider how moving into a new relationship while still grieving over another would affect the new relationship and more importantly my new partner.The last thing I ever would want to do would be to hurt anyone.
I have reached that particular cross road in my life and am dipping that big toe once again.
My appologies to anyone that thinks I am just rambling on but my point is this.
Rebound relationships I suppose can work but no one should have to pay for the mistakes or the circumstances of a previous relationship.I put myself in a box a couple of times just so that my next relationship could be given every chance.I dont bounce so well I suppose.
Cheers Jack

Posted by: rokinon at June 15, 2008 8:14 PM

His wife repossessed him. I think it's great to be friends with someone at that stage of their life if you like them, but don't open your heart too much it's too dangerous. Be a good friend if you enjoy their company and enjoy spending time together but that is it until all the other issues are resolved. And also being a good friends means it needs to be reciprocated and not just a one way street listening to all their woes, no keep your wits about you and prepare to be objective.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 15, 2008 10:20 AM

met a really lovely man, but he had been dumped by his wife 8 months earlier, he didn't want to have a rebound relationship. After some weeks he ended it, telling me that the kids/wife wanted him back: I think that she saw him happy and couldnt stand it. Using the kids as an excuse.

Posted by: livingnotwaiting at June 15, 2008 9:32 AM

Gee Stoic, if your internal defence policy extended to the blogs as well, I'm sure you would win ;)

Posted by: riversong01 at June 13, 2008 9:18 AM

Ha ha ha. Sorry to disappoint you Riversong but there will be no anarchy under my presidency :)

To borrow another quote:

"Security from domestic violence, no less than from foreign aggression, is the most elementary and fundamental purpose of any government, and a government that cannot fulfil that purpose is one that cannot long command the loyalty of its citizens. History shows us - demonstrates that nothing - nothing prepares the way for tyranny more than the failure of public officials to keep the streets from bullies and marauders."

To wit, my administration would primarily be concerned with enforcing law and order - both criminal and contract law (since a stable monetary and fiscal climate and thus a free and a competitive economy require that contracts be enforced and aggrieved parties have recourse should a contract be broken) and most especially private property rights.

I promise to you, I will keep the streets free from bullies and marauders and more importantly, will give you the right and protection under the law to defend yourself, your loved ones, and your property as you see fit should said bullies and marauders threaten you.

Feeling suitably placated that anarchy is not my goal now? ;)

Posted by: stoic at June 13, 2008 12:41 AM

Actually, Stoic, I dunno - do they have Presidents for anarchistic revolutions??

Posted by: riversong01 at June 12, 2008 8:53 PM

Wow Stoic. I have no idea what you said, but it sounds impressive! Spoken like a true pollie! ;)

Posted by: riversong01 at June 12, 2008 8:48 PM

Ogre wrote. at June 12, 2008 12:15 PM

"...get rid of parties put in people whose only question to be asked on any reform has to be "is it the best for the Nation then the people"...blah blah blah..."

Haha Ogre. That form of national administration looks and smells very much like government by commission or Fascism.
Unfortunately for you (and Stoic's extreme laisess faire suggestion) those ideas have been tried and found to be insufficient. The most succesfull nations, using the recognised indicators, are parliamentary democracies with a house for legislation and one for review.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 12, 2008 2:34 PM

Well said Sto,
get rid of parties put in people whose only question to be asked on any reform has to be
"is it the best for the Nation then the people" if in the affirmative pass it if not Black ball it. The only other thing is the matter of arms and currency. (and what part Marcus is to play in all this).
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at June 12, 2008 12:15 PM

Well said amberlight.

Posted by: woodnwine at June 12, 2008 8:54 AM

Actually, my presidency will have very little to do with the production, distribution, and most especially the taxing of those products.

My presidency will have little to do with anything but giving people their freedom (and hard earned money) back.

"I have little interest in streamlining government or in making it more efficient, for I mean to reduce its size. I do not undertake to promote welfare, for I propose to extend freedom. My aim is not to pass laws, but to repeal them. It is not to inaugurate new programs, but to cancel old ones that do violence to the Constitution or that have failed their purpose, or that impose on the people an unwarranted financial burden. I will not attempt to discover whether legislation is "needed" before I have first determined whether it is constitutionally permissible. And if I should later be attacked for neglecting my constituents "interests", I shall reply that I was informed that their main interest is liberty and that in that cause I am doing the very best I can.”

Posted by: stoic at June 12, 2008 12:13 AM

Hi Amber,
Same can be said for drugs and any other number of things, Have heard similar stories from a friend in Qld, she is heavily involved in the health scene. But consider the fact that medicine has placed itself on the pedestal and kept alive people who nature would have dispensed with long ago, in the natural selection process. How can people like my grandfather, smoke from the age of 12 and die with a hot pipe in his hand at 90 odd. Another uncle that died at nearly 90 and they were not sure about cremating him he was so pickled. Genes somewhere are good, or not so good, the good survive most abuse the bad genes don't.

Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at June 12, 2008 12:11 AM

Sorry my spelling is awful tonight; hope at least some of it made sense!

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 11, 2008 11:24 PM

Hey OG,
The costs to the Health system would be much less if people indulged a lot less in alcohol and cigarettes.
The ED at the RAH spends most of it's time and staff on a Friday & Saturday nights looking after the seriously intoxicated.
That doesn't even include the cost of days off work due to hangovers, domestic violence fueled by alcohol, and those who are on disablilty pensions due to alcohol related health problems.
Plus the car accidents, a large percentage of which are caused by people who have been drinking.
I know of one young man in his 20s who has seizures brought on my over-indulgence in alcohol, (he has been drinking since he was 12 or 13) who is losing his ability to hold down a job and who already has short-term memory loss, and another man in his late 40s who requires a liver transplant due to cirrhosis of the liver. He has been on a disability pension for most of his life due to his severe addiction to alcohol.

Smoking related diseases cost us a fortune. A simple cold in a person with COPD requires a week in hospital, sometimes much longer. People with COPD tend to be "revolving door" patients, in and out every few weeks over winter. Then there are those who require home oxygen just to keep them barely functioning and out of hospital.
The amazing part is that people will come in on the verge of death, hardly able to breathe, begging for the doctors to save them and yet as soon as they are barely able to walk, they are busting to get outside to have a cigarette!
COPD is the most common smoking-related disease (although they tend to focus on lung cancer) and most smokers don't even realise they have it.
They may be slightly short of breath on exertion and just put it down to being unfit. It is quite often only when they perhaps come into hospital for minor surgery and their oxygen saturation is a little low that the doctors might pick it up.
Or they have a cold which just refuses to go away and is complicated by a chest infection which requires large doses of IV antibiotics to knock it.
COPD is a horrible disease, the end result is just as awful as lung cancer it justs takes many years longer to kill you!

I agree with Marcus, smokers who think they 'pay their way' for the cost of future health problems are seriously kidding themselves. Even if every cent of tax revenue a smoker generated was put towards their own future health care, it would barely cover the costs of one or two years of their life if they get COPD or lung cancer.
For those adicted to alcohol it would be much the same.

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 11, 2008 10:17 PM

love2travel77 a big dose of sympathy and kind thoughts to you. One of the big lessons from RSVP is to learn not to believe everything you read and to get to know someone before jumping in. Not everyone is in here for the same reason; not everything is as it seems. Treat it as a valuable learning experience. There are some not nice people in the world.

Don't kick yourself - it's more degrading for the low life who can do such vile and nasty things to lovely people (like you).

Posted by: riversong01 at June 11, 2008 8:50 PM

Marcus, forgot to add, drugs do nothing for the economy of the country, so maybe as you seem to indicate, we on the formation of the repbulic should legalise or at least tax them, seems to work in other countries so why not mess this one up too.

There was a paper under desk circulating in a ATO office a couple of years back, some bright spark worked out that if they banned all tobacco the average wage earner would have to pay $5.35 per week more in taxes, The same was started on the grog and stopped when the indications were that it could be 3 times again that increase, and it is well known that wowsers hate parting with money. Hi maybe we should ban gambling too, big saving there.

More thought my thoughfull friend lol.
Cheers OG.

Ps, Have worked out why this page is the size it is, Fairfax owned, newspaper column size.

Posted by: oldergent at June 11, 2008 2:32 PM

Marcus we are talking about a republic here, we can start a war whenever we want, why pay $4/ 5 an hour when we can get it for 3. Of course, you don't need the legal parasites, have the truth syrup policy bought in, now that alone would put the economy in the black forever, for things requiring the death penalty hire an off shore island and have the military do it. See all this is possible in a republic and more. Of course if you were sensible you would leave things the way they are, in a repbulic some may remember some of the nasty things you've called them, lol
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at June 11, 2008 2:17 PM

Back on for a quick look at what's happening in the sandpit and wow... Lotsa politics... Interesting reading boys and makes for a change... Cheers... "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at June 11, 2008 1:13 PM

Ogre
I was under the distinct impression that our parliaments were places were laws are made. It would seem somewhat sensible to have people of legal mind and qualification involved in the generation of legislation perhaps even to have representatives of the signed up workers to apply a bit of bias. You wouldn't really want your grandaughter say, part time working for 4 or 5 bucks an hour would you?
As a bloke illustrated here enjoying a tipple it seems a bit unreasonable that you would seek to deny those who might enjoy (or have the habit) of taking an illicit substance, their poison?
And that excise revenue. I think when someone dies of a tobacco related illness the costs to the health system are many times their lifetimes tax contribution (assuming they paid and weren't a chop chop smoker)
Same logic for alchohol.

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 11, 2008 9:37 AM

G'day Stoic.
again your wisdom is showing through, But on the actors thing in aust, are not all of them members of the power structure at the moment or at least have a pixie like character in the vicinity of a major orifice, surely that debars them.

Once again are not both those organisations fully paid up branches and heads of PR for said party.

I am adamant that there be no members ever of the legal proffession.

Now the military and ses and medical care people are most definately suitable.

You are young yet so I will stand in till you become eligble, no doubt you will gain from my vast knowledge and experience of the world and bars around the state.
See Marcus, concord achieved without involving the silver budgie.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at June 11, 2008 8:50 AM

Marcus,
What I had in mind for the drug takers was the withdrawal of the drugs from them, for the pushers a long correctional holiday. For the suppliers your gutting idea sounds pretty good along with confiscation of all property, goods and chattels. What is spent on the remedial aspects of grog and fags is far outweighted by the revenue they produce in excise and people employed in industry.

So no stoush I am sure we can work in "sweetness and light", he may occasionally have to resort to a few low and long ohm's but they will do him good,especially between draughts of the amber gold.

But you have sucked out a bit more than I intended on future policy, I am sure our detractors will use them against us, gee you're a sneaky devil marcus, but the moving fingers typing move on etc.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at June 11, 2008 8:37 AM

love2travel77 - 10.55pm. Sorry to hear about your terrible experience. Surely all experiences haven't been bad though have they?

Don't give up! That special someone will be out there somewhere. Treat this as another lesson in teaching you what you don't want.

Even though your new opening line is now negative - maybe it might just be the thing to catch the 'right' persons eye.

Good luck in finding him. Your profile reflects a vibrant and happy young woman.
You deserve someone special.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at June 11, 2008 7:32 AM

Ogre. I think you and President Stoic might have your first policy stoush just after congress.
He is a libertarian, and supportive of the rights of bar owners, for example. You are a socialist and interested in the welfare of the people. Your major policy platform from what I see is the eradication of drugs and filth that deal them in short order. given the two drugs that cause by far the most issues, medically and socially are alchohol and tobacco (followed by abused/over prescribed pharmaceuticals) As the head of the organisation that overseas the production, distribution, and taxing of these products and pockets a vast bulk of revenue from them you both have to be the first in line for evisceration, or whatever you had in mind for the scum. No?
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 11, 2008 2:56 AM

OG, I thought about the actor bit but it was an actor that took the lead in freeing Eastern Europe from the most murderous regime in human history (and the way the EU is going, all of Europe this time will be needing another)

Granted the chance of any of our actors ever filling that role is slim to none, but I am hesitant to rule it out completely.

For journalists, they will be ok but only if they have spent most of their time in a private environment and not sucking the blood of taxpayers at the ABC or SBS.

And I am very tempted to add "No lawyers" :)

Oh and it goes without saying that the public service rule does not apply to military and emergency services personnel. Exception also applies for nurses.

Clean criminal record of course also. Non-violent juvenile offences will be overlooked.

And unfortunately I am not eligible, not having been 10 years out of the public service, but geez my inauguration speech would be something to behold... :)

Posted by: stoic at June 10, 2008 11:40 PM

hey guys. I have never posted on the blogs before. but I think I have just suffered from someone having been in a bad relationship...or maybe they were a bad person already.

This guy is the absolute scum of the earth and is disgusting. He has done and said some disgusting things and has finally made me give up on finding someone. Too much heartache along the way.

I feel so stupid and degraded right now.

Good luck to everyone in their search

Posted by: love2travel77 at June 10, 2008 10:55 PM

Stoic,
on a further reading of your list of exclusions, Please add never a actor/ess, member of the media, journalist or person of political correctness or has their ambition mixed up with their ability. That should leave just you and me, how do you feel about Vice Pres, I should kark it shortly and you can do the Hillary.
Cheers OG
ps, see how easy it is to sort matters of State out.

Posted by: oldergent at June 10, 2008 10:28 PM

But to get back on blog. ( I can you know)
had a young friend the other day pose the same question, he met a rebounder and has got himself mauled good and proper. Asked me if he should try to win her back. I said, son, go and place your most prized posession on that bench and whack it with a hammer, feel the pain and discomfort, then magnify it ten fold and persue the past. See, when us old people die there is an entire world of experiences and good advice die with us.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at June 10, 2008 9:49 PM

Stoic,
Could not agree with your outlines more, don't know about you but I must be one of the few that qualify, ahh what a wonderful place I could make this, drugs and the filth that deal in them gone in 6 months, won't give the rest of the agenda away some other wannabe pres, might pinch it.
Jokes aside bloody well thought out, but only if we are stupid enought to change the system that is admired around the world and makes us the envy of the world.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at June 10, 2008 9:17 PM

So true Riversong,
I have also in the past, known of men who have had similar sad experiences, being caring and supportive and patiently waiting around until the lady was 'ready' to begin a new serious long-term relationship.

In both cases when the lady was ready, she wasn't interested in them.
Turns out they were seen as kindly 'comforters' but never seriously seen as potential new partners.
Very considerate and caring, good enough (in one case) to keep the bed warm, but not quite exciting enough, wealthy enough or good-looking enough, to be considered as a prospective long-term partner!
Both men were devastated.

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 10, 2008 9:09 PM

I really like the new format, makes it much easier to just scroll over the photographs and get an idea if you wish to go further. Good move RSVP, I think it looks good and is easy to use.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 10, 2008 8:48 PM

Riverblue, the rebound thing might not be an issue for the person ON the rebound, but it IS an issue for the person on the receiving end, who is used as transitional medicinal! Rebound relationships help the wounded party to get through, but they very seldom work, often leaving the other person minced and broken hearted.

Unless someone tips out the dirty water, clears the rubble, or any other analogy you might use to describe it, they are not free to build a new healthy relationship. On the rebound people are hurt and feel lonely. But plugging the hole with a new person doesn’t solve anything – just complicates the process.

Personally, I have learnt (from bitter experience) to keep well clear of “separated”, “still friends with on/off ex girlfriend”, and all the various shades of rebound men who are a plenty on this website!!

Posted by: riversong01 at June 10, 2008 8:04 PM

There was an article on the news tonight whewre feral cats are reaching plague proportions around the West Beach area, they are attempting to catch the and relocate them.

Would a family take on a cat that had been feral since birth?

I think all cats sold in pet shops should be de-sexed before the pet shop is allowed to sell them.

Our native animals have a hard enough time coping with people, let alone from being hunted by cats.

Surely also, it would not be inhumane to cats, to insist on collars with bells, that work to ensure they cannot hunt our native animals and birds in silence.

Posted by: virgil at June 10, 2008 8:01 PM

You said it OG - They simply can't stand you being able to exercise your free will in a way that goes against what they think you should be doing. Take smoking.

I hate smoking, but that being said, the owner of a restaurant or nightclub should have every right to decide whether or not he or she allows smoking inside his/her establishment. They bought the land, they own it, they have put their money on the line, they should have the say on how they run their business. If I don't like it, I will exercise my freedom and go elsewhere.

And amberlight - I am in full agreement with you and was (and am) highly critical of Howard for further disarming the population. He himself was unlikely to be a threat, same with Costello and Beazley, but my argument then was "what about the future?"

And lo and behold, all these years later, the Communist Sow and the Shadowy Treasurer appear (both materialising out of glowing upside down pentagrams on the floor and a cloud of smoke, both with poisoned blades just itching to be stuck in the backs of their respective leaders), both of whom I trust about as far as I could throw the Statue of Liberty.

And as for a republic, I can tell you the only way I will support a parliament appointed President is if the following rules apply:

* The President can never be a former politician, must never have sought election for either House or Senate at any time, and may not run for federal parliament at any time in the future

* The President must never have been a union leader/secretary (union member is fine)

* The President may not have been a public servant at any time in the past 10 years

* The President must have spent the majority of his or her working life in the private sector

* The President must not be a career academic and must have the spent the majority of his/her life outside the sheltered walls of academia in the real world

* The President must not be a professional sportsman/woman (or must be retired no fewer than 20 years)

I think that about covers it :)

Posted by: stoic at June 10, 2008 7:51 PM

Cars may well not be loaded weapons generally however tell that to the family of the woman who was innocently driving a few days ago and was cannonned into by the man who had stabbed his girlfriend then reportedly deliberately drove into this womans car. You can't tell the woman, she died as a result of her injuries.
In the wrong hands, a car is no different to a weapon. Thank goodness that those who use it as such are a minority................K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 10, 2008 3:12 PM

I don't think that the rebound thing should be as big an issue as people unfortunately make it to be, or fear it to be.

if you really like someone, who you think is on the rebound, then you just should give them the time and space to get over the other person- this shouldn't stop you from still seeing them.

especially with the knowledge that it is possible to like two people at the same time (because one likes them in different ways!)

This brings things to a more humanistic level - we all have the human condition (which is the struggle to be loved).

Posted by: riverblue at June 10, 2008 12:49 PM

woodnwine at June 10, 2008 9:08 AM

There's nothing like sitting back and talking to your cows. ~Russell Crowe

oops - now im mixing my double entendres with my poxy morons , (sorry - its still before 'cocktail hour' and my brain needs nurishment!)

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at June 10, 2008 11:07 AM

stoic at June 10, 2008 12:20 AM

Hey stoic,
Re your comment about guns, wasn't it your guy, one of the most conservative PMs in Australia's history who enacted the gun legislation after Port Arthur?

Hardly the kind of bloke one could compare to the 'comrades' in the USSR!
Which is the "they" you are referring to?

Rather ironic really that John Howard got his award on the Queen's BIrthday. Considering he was apparently an avowed monarchist, he did more to sideline the Queen's rep, the Governor-General than any Prime MInister before him!
Most of Australia had no idea who the Governor-General even was, because John Howard always inserted himself in the forefront to do the things that had always been part of the GG's role in the past.
It was hardly showing great respect to our constitutional monarchy to have the GG relegated to making speeches at official openings that were deemed far too boring, unimportant and unlikely to receive much media coverage, well at least not enough media coverage to satisfy our PM!

He can only blame himself, if Australia becomes a Republic in the near future.
He was the one who showed us that we can easily do without the Governor-General, and I am sure Rudd will follow in his footsteps, despite his token appointment of a woman to the role, which thanks to John Howard, definitely no longer has any relevance in our society.

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 10, 2008 10:36 AM

ERAL .... EARL .... REAL ....?

Posted by: woodnwine at June 10, 2008 10:24 AM

There is plenty of point in getting worked up about cats and the damage they do. It makes people aware of the problems they cause and the disdain in which they are held by responsible people, and has been directly responsible for number and behaviour control measures against them. Rego, microchipping, desexing and proper 24/7 cages for them are a start. Legal trapping, poisoning and shooting of ferals (feral = any cat not within it's owners property) need to be encouraged. Registered or identifiable cats caught killing protected wildlife should face exactly the same penalties as dogs that threaten or attack people or other animals. Cat bounties for hunters in the manner of those for fox, wild dog and feral horse, goats and pig etc would help.
Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 10, 2008 10:09 AM

ERAL - seems you are interested in cows.

Posted by: woodnwine at June 10, 2008 9:08 AM

And while I am on the animals thing. What about responsible ownership of little dogs who are bathed and groomed and told they are so cutsie and then left alone all day to bark and carry on like hyperactive idiots because they have absolutely nothing to do. Most of these little dogs are hunting or guard dogs, bred for work, not bred to look like powder puffs. No wonder they go insane and are always looking for attention from their owners. That, in my opinion is cruelty also.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 10, 2008 8:21 AM

In my opinion it's no point getting worked up about cats and obviously some people don't like them, that's fair enough. It is time that people get worked up about irresponsible owners. Desexing should not be an option, it should be compulsory, of the cat that is and responsible ownership should be law with heavy fines applicable. Let's face it, cats do catch rats and mice, although mine never did, but they do have a place in the eco system and let's look at the responsibility of the owners of both cats and dogs and indeed all pets.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 10, 2008 8:18 AM

I don't have problems with sign in either and can blog whenever I wish to. I don't understand what is happening unless your actual internet connection is unstable. The blogging on this site is free so I don't know what the comments are about with the site charging as it doesn't.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 10, 2008 8:11 AM

Marcus,
Have a look at the Sydney papers in the last couple of days, cars can be used as weapons and caused intentional death. Having lived on the Pacific Hwy for a number of years and observing several "unexplained " road crossings resulting in multiple deaths, one has to wonder if some were not intentional. Point on the cats taken, cats hunt and kill, people hunt and kill, check out the number of stabbings every week. Ban knives, then what will be the next weapon of choice to kill with. People are all for bans so long as it does not interfere with them.

Stoic.
Most people who are anti gun have never handled one far less shot one, the abolishonists have got rid of guns, Tobacco (nearly) now they are starting on Grog, when they get that gone, what next? Roll on 1984.

Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at June 10, 2008 8:07 AM

oldergent June 9, 2008 8:10 PM

Ogre. Err, what anti gun rant have I made?
I made the logical point that cats are like machine guns to wildlife. Cars do not deliberately hunt.

Regardless, I don't have to read the stats on car deaths to know that you cannot hold a loaded car to someones head and, terrorise, rob or shoot them, (or shoot wildlife) regardless of what the National Rifle Association says.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 10, 2008 1:25 AM

bm1960 at June 9, 2008 5:51 PM

"....They just take your dollar and give very little back.."

This is a free blog BM. It doesn't cost a zac to post a comment. Where do you get the "they take your dollar and give very little back" from?
I have been blogging daily for months now and had no log on problems. Sometimes I'm edited but can always get straight on.
What is your procedure for posting a comment?
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 10, 2008 1:14 AM

OG - wasn't it you who mentioned a book awhile back written in Russia about what was needed to take control of a country - basically disarm the population and find a new currency standard?

There is your answer as to why they are so anti-anyone else owning a gun.

An armed populace is a lot harder to enslave and dictate to and we all know how much leftists hate you being able to ignore their diktats and live your life how you want to live it instead of how they deem you should :)

Posted by: stoic at June 10, 2008 12:20 AM

Marcus,
Read the stats on deaths and injuries caused by cars then tell me what is most dangerous guns or cars, the only difference you can come up with to justify your anti gun rant is that you use cars so it is alright.
OG.

Posted by: oldergent at June 9, 2008 8:10 PM

Sign in problems are caused by woeful 'customer support'.....did anyone notice that blogs went offline on a long weekend....high traffic time and no one to moderate??? They just take your dollar and give very little back..I am sick and tired of complaining here and to 'CS'....it doeswn't change anything.....
Definitely no cheers here....:-)
B....
PS...my original comment was against the topic title...it should be a question not a ridiculous statement, in my opinion....

Posted by: bm1960 at June 9, 2008 5:51 PM

Diaries of a dog and a cat .....

DOG DIARY
7:00 AM - Outside! My favorite thing!
8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
2:00 PM - Looked out the window and barked! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!4:00 PM - Chased a bird out of the tree! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 PM - Watched my people eat! My favorite thing!
6:20 PM - Table scraps! My favorite thing!7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. [Offspring of unwed parents]! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies'. I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog continues to receive special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

Posted by: jodes75 at June 9, 2008 5:18 PM

I would have to agree with bm1960 about the sign in process...what is that all about?!!
And as for what I thought the topic of discussion was, i.e 'rebound relationships', by the very definition of 'rebound', aren't most of us on this site either bouncing back from, or reacting to, a previous emotional situation?

I guess we all have life-history, but I doubt that it would take long to work out if someone is interested in you just because they have to have someone in their life, or worse, to 'get even'. My thought is, be totally honest and communicate openly. Most of us are not mind readers and abhor dishonesty.

Posted by: susieg53 at June 9, 2008 4:39 PM

man i know full well how this feels. all my ex used to talk about was the times she had with her ex even though she hated his guts lol. funny thing was i was fine with it in a way cause he was a real ........ dick head.. thats a polite way of saying it. anyway she ended up cheating on me after 2 months. that ended that.
oh well thats all in the past.

Posted by: bobthefitter at June 9, 2008 4:52 AM

misscruel at June 8, 2008 9:09

blah, blah blah..... " predators that are in danger of extinction (just off the top of my head, I'm sure there are many more): Siberian tiger, orca (the ocean's master predator), Arctic wolf, several shark species ... but hey, who cares, they prey on other animals so let them die out!.."

OK. That would have to rank as the most sub moron, ethically bankrupt, statement I have seen here. Allowing any species to die out is a moral and spiritual failure on our part. Top predators indicate and ensure the health of ecosystems. Remove them (WTF because you have aesthetic or vegetarian concerns?) and populations are unregulated.
By your own logic the first species you would have to let die out would be humans.

On cats. As we say the only good one is a dead one. Regardless of their introduction by humans they do an enormous amount of damage. Your logic on that is the same as the one gun promoters use; that it is not the gun that kills but the person holding it. Rubbish, no cats (or no guns) no chance of an accident.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 8, 2008 6:33 PM

Hi all.....I am still amazed this topic is going...the title is the most ridiculous turn of phrase I have read in ages....almost as ridiculous as the sign in process!!!!
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at June 8, 2008 5:58 PM

Your dad sounds nice Marcus, a gifted man with a good sense of humour. My dad was nice and I still miss him. He passed away quite a few years ago. He liked nothing better in his later years to sit in his comfy chair with his cup of tea and cat in his lap, dog at his feet and just nod off. He unfortunately spent his last few months in a clinical hospital dying from cancer which dragged on and on. How much kinder it would have been to bypass all that pain and suffering and let him slip away in his chair with his beloved pets.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 8, 2008 11:32 AM

never a truer word uttered ER&L, lol

Posted by: iaminperth at June 8, 2008 11:28 AM

Wow ... Steve Irwin loved animals and look at what that did for him ... ok time for a 2nd cuppa coffee for me I think ...

Posted by: jon2003 at June 8, 2008 10:57 AM

Sorry, Marcus, I didn't mean to rip your throat out - I can see your point of view ... however, I also love cats (and pretty much every other animal I've ever met - they're just so much nicer than most humans, and even those that are not ... well, it isn't their fault!).

Posted by: missrule at June 8, 2008 9:16 AM

Some people's idea of humaneness and pacificism (yes, that is a word!) is offbeat, to say the least. (The Pacific Highway must be the world's most inappropriately-named road.)

Most endangered or vulnerable Australian wildlife owes its current plight to habitat loss (man-made), pollution (man-made), non-natural diseases (man-made) and, yes, predators introduced by ... man. Just a couple of examples are numbats, Queensland tree kangaroos and eastern barred bandicoots. The Australian sea-lion has been hunted to near extinction. Man is the chief predator of almost every endangered species on this planet. So let's take a good hard look at our own role before condemning domestic pets, shall we?

Fact remains that cats are (in my experience) loving creatures that make wonderful low-maintenance pets, especially for elderly and disabled people who can't get out to exercise dogs. I do, however, still agree that their breeding - as with dogs - should be strictly controlled, if only to reduce the horrifying numbers exterminated in shelters.

Other predators that are in danger of extinction (just off the top of my head, I'm sure there are many more): Siberian tiger, orca (the ocean's master predator), Arctic wolf, several shark species ... but hey, who cares, they prey on other animals so let them die out!

Posted by: missrule at June 8, 2008 9:09 AM

Posted by: iaminperth at June 7, 2008 4:25 PM

Perth - "the secret" with dogs ( we are talking about dogs - right? ;~) ) is - the "cookie" !
Once they're hooked on the cookie, you can get 'em to do whatever you want after that ... LOL !

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at June 7, 2008 10:20 PM

missrule at June 7, 2008 4:56 PM
( "I would have both dogs and cats. AND a bloke...")

Why stop there?

Old Missrule had a FARM
EieieiYO
And on that farm she had a COW
EieieiYO
With moo-moo here
And a moo-moo there
Moo here moo there
Moo-moo everywhere.

;)

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at June 7, 2008 9:07 PM

Cooked a very nice chicken and asparagus risotto tonight and settled in front of the television with a glass of red to watch the footy. I hope the Weagles can make a mark, but hey, let the best man win!

Posted by: iaminperth at June 7, 2008 8:24 PM

My dad is a humane, pacific man with a great love of nature and Australian wildlife, particularly birds. He would say that he loved cats too, but couldn't eat a whole one.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 7, 2008 7:33 PM

Among the things my old dad taught me (and he's been proved right on many occasions): never trust a man who doesn't like cats, he will have a cruel streak and will want a doormat as a partner. I have no idea what dad's reasoning was but as I say, he's been proved right on many occasions ... (He loved cats and dogs equally too.)

Posted by: missrule at June 7, 2008 5:20 PM

Amusing but far from brilliant ... predictable with a grain of truth thrown (sown?) in. For choice, if I could afford all the vet's bills, medication and boarding fees, I would have both dogs and cats. AND a bloke, of course, which is why I'm on the RSVP and not the RSPCA website.

Posted by: missrule at June 7, 2008 4:56 PM

It's all about balance ER and L, although I think dogs ER&L quite often as well!

Posted by: iaminperth at June 7, 2008 4:25 PM

Brilliant stuff, ERAL!
Nice to have a really good laugh to lighten up the day.
Much appreciated! Thanks

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 7, 2008 2:51 PM

Who needs a man? Get a Dog
( seems appropriate )
* If you want someone who will do anything to please you, get a dog.
* If you want someone who will bring you the newspaper without tearing through it first for the sports page, get a dog.
* If you want someone who'll make a total fool of himself because he's so glad to see you, get a dog.
* If you want someone who eats whatever you put in front of him and never says his mother made it better, get a dog.
* If you want someone who's always eager to go out any time you ask and anywhere you want to go, get a dog.
* If you want someone who can scare away burglars without waving a lethal weapon around, endangering you and all the neighbours, get a dog.
* If you want someone who never touches the remote, couldn't care less about Monday Night Football, and watches dramatic movies with you as long as you want, get a dog.
* If you want someone who'll be content just to snuggle up and keep you warm in bed, and who you can kick out of bed if he slobbers and snores, get a dog.
* If you want someone who never criticizes anything you do, doesn't care how good or bad you look, acts as though every word you say is worth hearing, never complains, and loves you unconditionally all the time, get a dog!
On the other hand...
* If you want someone who never comes when you call him, totally ignores you when you walk in the room, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, prowls around all night and comes home only to eat and sleep all day, and acts as though you are there only to see that HE's happy...
Get a CAT!
ERAL (Leo :~D )

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at June 7, 2008 2:07 PM

I got my little white 'fluff ball' from a dog shelter at Moorook in the Riverland.
I had previously had a Kelpie which I had loved very much, but she had been hit by a car after sneaking through the side gate (You'd think she would have had more sense at 8 1/2 years of age!).
I really missed our daily walks, so after a couple of months, I was looking for a new 'friend'.
I didn't really want a puppy, so I looked at a shelter dog. I had no intention of getting a little yappy 'fluff ball', but he looked so stressed and sad. Against my better judgment I brought him home.
He was sweet for a few days then suddenly 'Cujo' appeared. He jumped on the couch and I told him to get off, then suddenly he began snarling, and not just your average snarl! He also snapped at me. I wasn't keen to be bitten, so I pushed him off with a rolled up newspaper.
He was not a happy camper.
He had never been sure of my 11yo son, but now started snarling every time he came near him!
I was sure I had made the most terrible mistake. I was going to take him back. But for some insane reason I decided to persevere.
Now after 9 months, he is a different dog. I had him desexed, which made a small difference and without ever hitting him, I just never let him beat me.
I became quite adapt at pushing him out the back door with the broom when he became really nasty, and would follow him around the room until he got the idea he WAS going outside, now.
He now loves my son, has even made friends with my 18 year old son, whom he never liked at all, and seems to understand that snarling and snapping doesn't get him anywhere!
I started taking him to dog obedience 4 months ago, and this has helped even more. He has even stopped trying to dig out under the fence!
My younger son took him for his dog obedience session the other night and he worked perfectly for him, better than he does for me.
I guess his grumpiness was the reason he ended up in the shelter, but he must have been allowed to get away with this behaviour in the first place. Then I wonder maybe if he was then treated quite cruelly, to try to break his behaviour, going by his obvious fear and aggression, which was more obvious with men and boys.
You often see little "snappy" dogs. Just because they are litttle and cute, doesn't mean you can let them get away with bad behaviour.
I guess he is still living with us, only because he was a small dog, if he'd been a larger dog, I couldn't have risked it because of my son.
He just loves going for walks, and rarely ever barks. I can only agree that there are very few "bad" dogs just terrible owners!

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 7, 2008 12:41 PM

My little burmese is looking very rubenesque at the moment. They are not known for being totally loyal to their owners and I know that mine likes to visit other people in our culdesac. I think she is having morning/afternoon tea snacks at a few other houses as well. I do know she visits one elderly neighbour when he is cleaning his caravan and has a sandwich with him at lunchtime. Bit of a chub tub at the moment but very happy and contented.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 7, 2008 10:35 AM

My two dogs are perfect companions, they are together all the time and are made for each other.
One is a male ridgeback/staffy and the other a female lab.
Ridgey is the protector of all things at our house, hates trucks and the postie with a passion, men he isn't particularly fond of either.....His favorite spot is on his couch in the front room.
Lab is, as labs tend to be, a garbage guts, always on the hunt for food. She is somewhat "rubenesque" in her body shape, and the "bark" in the household. Her favorite spot is either in front of the fire or in the linen cupboard. Somehow she finds sleeping in there comfortable, though her snoring tends to verge on loud at times.

They both like to take me for walks around the hilly area where l live, usually a daily thing. Would not be without them.............................K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 7, 2008 9:51 AM

Posted by: decoratress at June 6, 2008 8:14 PM
Thank you Decoratress, gracefully accepted, no hard feelings. I'm sure "Ladysomelifeinmeyet" would also feel the same way. Let's all move on, hey! .....
:-) Happy birthday to you too "Deco" lol!

Am really enjoying reading the blogs about pets and the ongoing debates re cats,small dogs and the environment etc, or probably more correctly the responsibilites of pet owners towards our environment. Gotta dash so haven't the time to comment at the moment.

I have 2 small dogs (one elderly the other getting older) who do live inside (by default- long story) for most of the day but I agree with Perth, it is very much the owners responsibility to ensure pets are not destroying our wonderful wildlife. Fortunately, my dogs are too lazy or too old to be bother chasing birds or reptiles, but I am still very vigilant with them as they wander around my garden.

I also love Perth's idea for a blog topic on how pets can influence/affect a new relationship - I'm sure many bloggers that are pet owners (well, they really own us don't they lol) have some interesting experiences in relation to this :-).

Kind regards,

Jacqui

Posted by: misspriss01 at June 7, 2008 9:02 AM

OG, I found that when all else fails with Councils and RSPCA, after all there is no law at present about owning and breeding cats and not much they can do legally, the local press helps. A well thought out letter to the editor highlighting the plight of the wild animals without showing any obvious bias towards the owner of the animals sometimes has great effect. I think a lot of people are quite happy to flaunt any unwritten rules of living harmoniously in society but do not like it when their dirty laundry is aired in public. It will also highlight the obvious cruelty to these animals that are allowed to breed and where they are housed and how they are fed. Be subtle, be compassionate and stay very focussed.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 7, 2008 4:26 AM

Nina... stop muttering... can hear you from here and that's miles away!! And ah yes to the memories!! If that's what you call them??
Must confess, I'm more than just a tad gobsmacked myself.. Who'd have thought??

Catch ya soon!!!!!........ "G",

Posted by: amdoingit at June 6, 2008 11:17 PM

Oh dear, Decoratress. La Slimy is real? Who would have thought? I have vivid memories of her doppelganger, Slimy, being extremely rude and abusive to myself and others quite some time ago.

I always thought those posts were one of our resident mischief-makers at work. I humbly apologise to anyone I may have maligned. Who would have thought any 'real' person could be so, so, .... wandering away muttering to myself, trying to think of the right words... nup. Can't find 'em. Words fail me.

Posted by: ninaschen at June 6, 2008 9:38 PM

Lets get away from cats... am a dog person. I have a recalcatrant Beagle who would be the best natured dog I have ever owned... better than the men in my life. He is always happy to see me even if I have just been to the clothesline, will sit, drop and stay on command... unless there is food within 200 metres, never complains if he has the same thing for dinner 6 months in a row.... sorry guys only joking... love you all

Posted by: eastofcbd at June 6, 2008 9:32 PM

Certainly not, eatsrootsandleaves (good name btw) ... a totally appropriate punishment I'd say, and I'm thinking of campaigning to bring it in for naughty schoolkids too.

Iaminperth, your comments on small dogs struck a chord. There's a yorkie terrier-type kept in a small yard near me and it yaps all day (luckily not at night or I'd have the shotgun out!). It is never walked, presumably because, as you say, the owners believe small dogs don't need exercise. Whereas in fact they not only need exercise, they need to socialise with other dogs and do their sniffing, just like all dogs do.

I'm a far from perfect dog owner but my border collie-cross gets a walk around our area and a run in the park every day, plus leash-free beach runs at the weekend.

Posted by: missrule at June 6, 2008 9:30 PM

eatsrootsandleaves at June 6, 2008 5:54 PM I agree that is a bit harsh... sheez gotta get back on the horse sooner or later, someone has ro be the first

Posted by: eastofcbd at June 6, 2008 9:18 PM

Posted by: enrepres at June 6, 2008 2:44 PM

Actually, the goddess' name was 'Bast' and was depicted as having a human body and cats head like most Egyptian deities. Not only were cats appreciated for keeping the vermin population under control, they were also regarded as the keepers of the underworld and considered to be spiritually advanced beings. Harming a cat was a crime punishable by death. It is believed that the modern Abyssinian cat is a descendant of the Egyptian temple cats.

And in order for this post to not be completely OT, I don't believe that the next person you are with should pay for the sins of the past. Instead, one should take the time to sort one's own issues out before embarking on a new relationship, rather than simply diving straight back in again. Until you are in a fit state (mentally in particular), you owe it to yourself and any future partner to clear away the cobwebs of the past and not let is cast a pall over the future.

Posted by: sesquipedalian76 at June 6, 2008 9:01 PM

Cats and chickens were always wonderful for horses convalescing. We usually had about 80 horses at one time on the property and a number that had come thru the University of Qld after injuries. Because these horses were penned and could become very lonely we used to encourage the cats or chickens to mill around and keep them company. It is amazing how they integrate together and keep each other company. Sometimes it can become a problem when the horse is returned to the racetrack as they actually miss the cat or chook that has kept them company for so long.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 6, 2008 8:48 PM

A few days ago I posted a copy of an unpleasant email which had been received by a female blogger. It contained a list of profile names belonging to a serial multi-profiler on the site, but unfortunately also two genuine members... misspriss & Ladysomelifeinmeyet.
I'd like to mention here that both ladies are genuine, & no disrespect was intended..

Posted by: decoratress at June 6, 2008 8:14 PM

We must remember that all these problems with animals are caused by the owners, not the animal. I see people purchase dogs because they are small and they have a small garden. No, a large number of small dogs are hunters and they need huge amounts of exercise, they are not lap dogs and really resent being left to their own devices, therefore, they bark like mad constantly and are generally disobedient little monsters. Large dogs in small yards, I can only speak of the gsd, have owned five. Medium exercise dogs, goes to the beach every day to run free, must have a job, looks after me, my family, her home and the cat. Also does trekking once a week in Pinjarra and needs to sniff out clues. We have a large dog who has a family to look after and 'herd'; she is a sheep dog originally, she has a job in life and she also is 'stretched' with her trekking exercises. Does not bark incessently and spends a lot of the time at home relaxing and having a sleep. In my view owners are the problem, not the animals.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 6, 2008 8:14 PM

Unfortunately I think the Great Plague of London was caused by the erradication of cats causing the prolific uncontrolled breeding of rates. Like everything in life balance is the key and we really need much more responsible ownership and not so much bloody minded 'I can do as I want' attitudes in life. That goes for responsible attitudes with animals, children and our relationships.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 6, 2008 8:08 PM

Definitely Marcus, Huge vicious things, people don't realize what a real feral cat looks like. They are usually battle scarred and very large. When a foal is born and the placenta expelled a feral cat will go in for a meal, if the mother tries to get in between the cat and the foal she will be attacked with sometimes horrendous wounds to the face and especially eyes. The foal stays near to the mother and can get caught up in the frey. I have shot many a feral cat, they are so dangerous and very strong. Not at all like a domestic cat and will attack without a moments provacation and apparently there is nothing you can do to domesticate a feral although people will argue on that point. However, all studies by veterinarians will tell you the same, there is no domesticating a true feral.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 6, 2008 8:03 PM

Perth - Horses and cats definintely have an affinity. I remember when I had my horses, the cats just wandering around the paddock amongst the horses. Really a beautiful sight. Such a tiny animal against such a large one.

Also remember the cats munching on the cut away hoof when they were shod.

Gee this topic is taking a life of its own, hey? But enjoyable for sure.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at June 6, 2008 7:31 PM

missrule at June 6, 2008 3:52 PM
Compulsory sterilisation, anyone?

What the ??!
Isn't it abit harsh for enjoying a bit of "rebound sex" ?

Posted by: eatsrootsandleaves at June 6, 2008 5:54 PM

Poochesinperth.
Feral cats that attacked horses and new born foals..?!
Cheers Marcus

Estelle.
Your ancestors cats did great work around the granaries too, where of course their rodent prey had co evolved. .
Unfortunately here our soft and slow marsupials come against something that they have never contended with.I found a mummified cat once too, under a house. Unfortunately no precious relics with it.

Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 6, 2008 5:12 PM

Oh also Marcus - we do get the occasional frog here. That's a good sign isn't it? I do like frogs.

Troy - Have a great weekend. Sounds good. Except if you're camping that is. lol!

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at June 6, 2008 4:06 PM

... and let us not forget that the very worst devastators of the natural environment - flora, fauna and anything else they can get their mucky paws on - are HUMANS. And we are also responsible for introducing the feral creatures afore discussed.

Compulsory sterilisation, anyone?

Posted by: missrule at June 6, 2008 3:52 PM

I have heard via television there are so many people staying together in relationships because of their much loved pets. Especially women who don't leave because they fear for the safety of their pets.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 6, 2008 3:39 PM

Posted by: enrepres at June 6, 2008 2:44 PM

Cool, lets send all of ours, there.

Have a nice weekend all, I am out of here early to do the groceries...I am a party animal. Wintersun festival this weekend on the coast, hundreds of hotrods, streets closed, multiple bandstands with rock and roll bands from around Oz playing till late. On the beach in the beautiful winter sunshine. So it will be a wild one for my girl and I.....yeah ha! The only cats at Coolangatta this weekend will be 'Cool Kats' haha.

Troy

Posted by: troyohboy at June 6, 2008 3:38 PM

In Egyptian mythology, Bastet is a cat and the goddess of fertility and motherhood. Cats were also revered and were mummified after death, equal to humans.

Posted by: enrepres at June 6, 2008 2:44 PM

Oh, should have mentioned, in our Shire, cats and dogs have to be registered. And there is a much higher fee for those not desexed. Of course mine are desexed.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at June 6, 2008 2:01 PM

Hi Oldergent - I do sympathise, in that situation such behaviour is clearly irresponsible (although one has to remember that it's not the cats' fault - as you say, it's the feral owners). A clear case there for compulsory sterilisation (of the cats, not owners ... although maybe ... sorry!) and breeding by licence only.

You are always going to get problems whenever non-native creatures are introduced - be it foxes, rabbits, cane toads, dogs (although dingoes presumably always had their ecological place) and cats.

Same with "foreign" plant matter - there is a type of grass whose name escapes me - it's a decorative and highly-prized plant in some countries but an illegal pest in Australia. Inspectors recently found Coles (I think) selling it and fined them heavily.

The sale of live animals in pet shops, though, is my favourite beef (no pun ... okay, it was). Anyone know of pressure groups to stop them? Is it banned in any other states?

Any comments on my view that using a new partner to get revenge on a former partner is a particularly nasty type of cheating? My reasoning being that you would have to be psychologically still within the old relationship to behave like this.

Anyone here ever read (or watch) Barchester Towers? I love the Signora's comment to her oily suitor, in the guise of a Scots ditty: "It's gude to be merry and wise, Mr Slope, it's gude to be honest and true; It's gude to be off with the old love, Mr Slope, before being on with the new."

Posted by: missrule at June 6, 2008 2:00 PM

When we lived in Qld we had a huge budgie aviary and over time thru breeding and others just appearing and trying to get in the cage we ended up with over 100 budgies all happily chattering away day and night. We had a large male cat naed Tao who loved to lay on the top of the cage and sleep in the sun all day. When the budgies started nesting they used to peck out Tao's fur thru the wires of the cage and line their nests. Tao was black and white so all the nests had these wonderful black and white covers on them, coupled with the colours of the budgies it was a very pretty site. Tao was supposed to be a stable cat, along with a couple of others who actually lived in our stables. We eventually had to purchase numerous rat and mouse traps as all these cats wanted to do was socialise with the horses when they were brought into the stables in the evening. We also had chooks and ducks walking around with babies in tow and come to think of it they weren't attacked either. We did have feral cats at times though, huge ugly things who would attack anything including us. I have to admit to not thinking twice about shooting them as they would attack new born foals and really anything that moved if they felt like it.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 6, 2008 1:47 PM

Troy darling,
What a shame!
And I thought you'd found something else to do on your weekends!
I do the same as Lovemusik, though it can be very annoying when you have to sign in 5 or 6 times.
(7 attempts this time)

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 6, 2008 1:45 PM

OG, I think there should be registration of cats the same as for dogs. Undesexed cats should incur an extremely high registration fee and the desexed ones a lower fee. Cats have a 28 day gestation and then can become pregnant again and produce more littlers than most other animals. In defence of the animal this is cruelty and I have been disappointed with the RSPCA'S decisions a lot of times. I actually took them to task in Qld as I was disgusted with their reaction to horses dying from malnutrition in a paddock near to us. It wasn't until I got the newspapers and media involved that the RSPCA took any action. We also prosecuted the owner individually as we had been trying to feed and care for these animals. We won our case as well but of course he was broke. However, it sort of set precedent. End result horses put down, we lost a lot of money, cruelty ignored and RSPCA came out smelling like roses.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 6, 2008 1:38 PM

I agree with everything everyone's said really and I used to shoot the feral cats that invaded our property when I lived in Qld. I apologise to anyone who found my remarks about my circus cat offensive. She is a burmese, hopeless hunters as they think they are dogs, and also wears two bells on her collar with a little name tag. Now she has her cat door she comes thru it about 9 o'clock and I wake up with her around 6a.m. when she is put out again. I will lock the door after she comes in at night as that would be far more responsible just in case. My neighbour encouraged doves in her garden but had to get rid of their homes because of the cats, now they have moved into a tree in our back garden. I think they feel safe as my dog keeps any strays out. They have made nests in the tree and usually bring out two babies each about a metre from the upstairs window, it's a wonderful site and I feel so priveleged to see nature at work. I put seed out for them and some of it falls on the ground and they peck around quite near to my dog who doesn't seem to mind at all and stays very quiet and still. Willow doesn't seem interested and is more focussed on annoying the dog or visiting the neighbours. I really do believe I am a responsible pet owner, all animals are desexed, tagged and kept in when appropriate but I will lock the cat door after Willows circus act prior to settling for the night.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 6, 2008 1:30 PM

Hi all, don't know whether it is any help (or been suggested), but when I first signed in i clicked the remember me box, and after that every time when I open the blog i have the add comment box at the top, and it seems to work (n.b. needs to be done for each different computer)...hope it helps??

Posted by: spanky668 at June 6, 2008 1:28 PM

Hi Jen, it all sounds wonderful - where are you? We have a kookaburra family close by and many other birds, of which the galahs, big black parrots and lorikeets are my favourites. We are too close to the highway to get much in the way of wallabies, koalas etc but we do get bandicoots visiting at night-time. Cute but I do wish they wouldn't poop all over my deck :)

To my knowledge there is no possum problem in this area (fingers crossed) but there are several colonies of flying foxes in different parts of Coffs and they are a real pain - droppings that corrode car paint, racket, general filth ... residents' groups are campaigning to have them exterminated or re-sited. Then again, the houses have been built on the bats' territory ... tough one, that.

Speaking of misssssstaken identity, I called WIRES out once because of what I thought was a snake lying under my hedge, with its tail sticking out of a discarded beer can. Turned out to be a bluetongue, which was pretty embarrassing, but then again it had its front legs solidly stuck in the can and would have died if the volunteers hadn't come, so I didn't feel too bad about calling them out.

Posted by: missrule at June 6, 2008 1:01 PM

To prevent my losing my message to these blogs, I ALWAYS now highlight the whole text, go to EDIT on the menu above, then scroll down to COPY the whole text. This is just in case - after I posted my comment - I get the message that I need to be SIGNED IN to post a message. So I can then PASTE my message onto the new window when I click on SIGN IN (again). Ever since I started doing this, I've never had to re-type a message all over again.

Posted by: lovemuzik at June 6, 2008 12:50 PM

Missrule.
When I moved to my present location 7 years ago, not one cat was in the area, The place abounded with enought bird life that I had to get the book out to identify some of them, all manner of lizards and a couple of small tree snakes. 3 years ago I got a new neighbour with 2 unsexed cats. Yesterday the count was still 27, this is despite the neighbour over the way trapping them, he has stopped as the local council now want to charge "him" for bring so many in, The council will do nothing about "her" ,neither will the RSPCA or the police, so the rspca can do without my annual donation in future. The end to the beloved cats situation, no birds, lizards, harmless snakes, just the Indian minors and a few skinks. While I have to put up with the stink each morning and the noise at night. The cats are only part of the problem, time to do something about the feral owners.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at June 6, 2008 12:49 PM

Hi Marcus,

Well I am no expert on Australian widlife and birds, all I know is I like seeing it around me. Is that ok? But for example I do love snakes, turtles, lizards and such, not that I know the names of them all. Used to keep turtles and terrapins years ago. Guess they were always my favourite creatures.

The birdlife around here is abundant. I suppose because of the Sanctuary. One day I looked out over my backyard and counted nine different types of bird out there at the one time. So that is a very enjoyable part of living in this area.

Haven't seen the blue tongue for a few months, guess he's in hibernation at the moment. Must admit he has given me a fright at times, because your first reaction is SNAKE. And even though I like snakes, to see them out of the blue does give you a scare.

I walk most days, and within 5 mins walking am in a bush setting, so constantly see Kangaroos, Echidna's.

Re the possums - Tell you what I am so over them. What is your opinion on them.
Since I have lived here - about 4 and half years have had I would say about 9 in the house. They fall down the chimney, walk in if a door might be left open, have fallen in a bathroom duct. Aargh!! Sick of them. And it's not like there is not enough living quarters for them around my property or surrounding properties. And I am quite happy to share that with them. Just stay out of my house!! Think they are one of the most disgusting creatures too. One of the few that actually soil their living space. Yuk!

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at June 6, 2008 12:16 PM

Ah well, guess we have to agree to disagree on cats and you'll certainly never stop people owning them. I would only say that breeding to supply pet shops (as with dogs) is immoral and given the vast numbers of cats and dogs euthanised in shelters, the breeding and sale of such animals should be banned. Neutering of both cats and dogs (currently prohibitively expensive for many owners) should also be state-subsidised and heavily encouraged. Breeding of both by licence only would be the way to go.

I never claimed that dogs were responsible for killing wildlife (although mine does make quite serious but completely futile attempts to catch the butcher birds that try to steal her food!) - but they are a very great menace to drivers. I've nearly hit loose dogs three times that I can remember since moving here 18 months ago. I don't know if the owners know or care how much they would be liable for in court fines/medical/legal expenses if their dog did cause an accident ...

Posted by: missrule at June 6, 2008 11:46 AM

OG and BM....and so many others. The whole log on thing is a nightmare. I've been in contact with rsvp support, followed all their directions and no change. I only comment during the work day as it is impossible to post from my laptop at home...no matter what I try. It's a pity as, when amber posts on a Friday night, it's too late to respond on Monday morning hahaha.

Troy

Posted by: troyohboy at June 6, 2008 11:32 AM

Posted by: missrule at June 6, 2008 10:23 AM

This is what most cat owners say......it's not my cat....uuuuh huh. As Marcus says, tell that to the authors of countless studies that show the impact of domestic cats on native fauna. No serious person could refute the evidence. I know you love your cats however I don't think it's a competition between dog and cat owners. Dogs off the lead, which I agree is annoying, hardly compares to the destruction and damage cats cause.

As a former Sydneyite from the building industry I know lots of tradespeaople who sold up and moved to Coffs in the 80's. They were able to purchase lovely homes and figured they could work a couple of days a week to cover living expenses. as often happens many did this and, with competition from the increasing numbers of tradesmen, rates went through the floor. couldn't afford to go back to Sydney and stuck working longer hours than ever. several ended up on the South Coast as it was all they could afford.

I end up in Coffs every year to compete in the Touch Football Nationals and find the place is missing something to attract people year round. Don't know what that is? Perhaps it is because, being originally from Sydney and, for the past 10 years, residing on the glorious Gold coast I have hgher expectations. Oh, the 'coast' isn't over-developed it's dynamic...haha.

Troy

Posted by: troyohboy at June 6, 2008 11:17 AM

The only way to prevent cats from catching and killing wildlife if it is NSW or anywhere else is if they are kept in a cattery 24/7 or turned into hats
You might have overfed your cats but you didn't prevent their hunting urges. Road kill is a reliable way of assesing the abundance of certain usually larger mobile animals. Cats systematically hunt out areas hence the "we used to see lots of those birds,bandicoots/lizards, the cats would bring them in. Along with foxes and cane toads it is well established that cats constitute the major menace to wildlife regardless of domestic or feral.

Dogs are much less a menace to wildlife than cats- and some do a good service by preying on them.
Jenniferhigh.
You said you have wildlife about, apart from possums, what sort of small marsupials and other mammals do you regularly see?

Re suicide. I said banana workers, agricultural laborers, not the farmers, were the ones who suffered.

Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 6, 2008 10:54 AM

Quick word in defence of (1) cats: it is perfectly possible to be a responsible owner, in fact NSW law states that cats must be inside at night. Very easy to lock the flap at night and put a bell, or even two, on its collar. Generally if cats do catch birds, they are the weaker ones in any case, but all the cats I've ever owned have been far too lazy/stupid/well-fed to catch anything other than the occasional worm. My last one (a very affectionate kitten) was killed by a speeding driver, surely a far greater menace to wildlife and humans alike than any feline. (My dog pined for the cat for weeks afterwards.)

There are plenty of bad dog owners around here who seem to think that letting their animals roam the neighbourhood day and night (again, illegal and so dangerous) is an acceptable alternative to exercising them. As usual, it's the few irresponsible owners who give the good majority a bad name.

(2) Coffs Harbour, my current abode: property is now very good value in comparison with the metro areas, and the Coffs Coast is nowhere near as overdeveloped as some parts (Gold Coast springs to mind!). The planners here let one tower block slip under the net (so to speak) and then put the brakes on, so that block has been left in inglorious isolation, sticking out like a sore cliche.

The banana growers these days make a pretty good living, as far as I can see. The hidden dark side to this area is the high rate of unemployment, partly because of the Centrelink sea-changers who think it's a nicer place to be out of work (which is true), partly because of the lack of substantial businesses/industry. For a good-sized city, we rely far too heavily on the summer tourist season.

And since all that is right off topic: to abuse a new relationship for revenge on your previous partner is a particularly insidious form of cheating, IMHO.

Posted by: missrule at June 6, 2008 10:23 AM

Lovely story Lynath.

I think with cats we don't own them - they own us. Yes and have got a couple. Mine live pretty harmoniously with the wildlife Marcus. And I have heaps of wildlife on my property believe me. They lounge about and dream I think about those pretty birds. Remember you talking about lizards once, and I have heaps here too and also there is a blue tongue that appears on a regular basis around the garden. I have never seen the cats do anything but look in awe at him. lol.

Perth - I know what you mean about German Shepherds. We have had two over the years. Both rescued. And more beautiful dogs you could not have. Still miss them. Was just saying in the last couple of weeks I would love a dog again, but at this stage my property is not fenced well enough.

Have a great day all.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at June 6, 2008 7:33 AM

I remember visiting Coff's Harbour in the early 80's and finding that the suicide rate there was many times higher than the national average.
The developers were moving in and the poorly paid banana workers were finding it almost impossible to house their families anywhere in a town they once had been able to buy in.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 6, 2008 5:43 AM

Cat doors are bloody wonderful; moggy can come an go as it pleases with no inconvenience to itself or anyone. They are just another example of the almost total lack of responsibility towards their animals behaviour most cat owners show.
Australia has the highest rate of mammal extinctions in the world and an important factor in this are predation by domestic cats.
When was the last time you saw a bandicoot, a marsupial hopping mouse, or a phascogale in your suburb or area? Almost any native animal under about a kilogram is prey for cats so as well as mammals, birds and reptiles also suffer.
The fact that cats are independant, often nocturnal hunters means their activities are often unobserved. All cats are predators, regardless, they breed rapidly and require less effort to 'keep' than any other domestic animal so are favored by careless owners. Cats are disease carrying and allergy causing, and selfish pets. The only way to responsibly own a cat is to keep it 24/7 in a cattery or as a stuffed and mounted specimen.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at June 6, 2008 5:37 AM

Great story, Lynath, like perth's Burmese, your little visitor made me laugh.
Your daughter must be very even-tempered, I could only imagine the response I'd get if I woke my daughter by ringing her mobile at 3AM!

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 5, 2008 11:17 PM

Hi Lynath, what a funny story. Do you know why you are so afraid of dogs. I hae always owned large dominant dogs. I suppose being wirht horses most of my life they just came with the territory but I do like the german shepherds. Mine now weighs about 38kgs and I really don't have to worry too much about anyone breaking in in the middle of the night. She sleeps where she wants to and that's usually in the best place to protect us. She is extremely friendly and docile but I have no doubt that if someone were to break in she would not be amused. Willow just flew thru the window, crashed on the floor, jumped on the bed, rubbed noses with the dog over the side of the bed and now crashed purring loudly.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 5, 2008 11:07 PM

Lynath.
thank you, a day should not pass without a good laugh, thank you for giving me one.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at June 5, 2008 11:01 PM

A Mid summer night's dream...

I have a cat door in the laundry door. I painted it "Carmen Miranda" (red)to match my front door.I thought about attaching a little brass knocker, but that might be going too far...I hardly think the cat would use it often....(no, not a cat lady yet ...really...only one cat.(recently dec.)..truly...and he was a "we'll look after it we promise" of my kids childhood although he did grow on me a lot. and sometimes let me dress him in Santa hats. at Christmas..and I told people my daughter did it...)
I am terrified of big dogs and scared of little ones,so normally avoid men with dogs, which cuts out a large percentage of the population.

A mid Summer moonlit night...it is warm, crickets are singing and the scent of orange blossom is in the air and suddenly in a state somewhere between sleep and waking a sound drifts into my ears...panting coming from the end of my bed........half smiling I think "how wonderful" ....before the next thought.."hang on a minute, I have only emailed him,he doesn't know where I live yet."... followed by sitting bolt upright and in a panic to find the lamp switch tipping over a glass of water....and hoping I can call the police before the intruder catches me. My mothers voice pops into my head..."If you go on those internet sites you will be kidnapped and sent to the slave trade"
Thank god I am wearing my good nightie and the house is tidy for the police and the photographers. of the crime scene...reminds me of another time when I had to call the fire brigade and while the back of the house was on fire ...oh never mind...another story...

The light goes on ...can't see the intruder yet but can still hear the panting.. and a sinister slurping noise....heart is beating rapidly.... he must be under the bed.....inch my way down and get ready to run and .look over the end of the bed and see two big brown eyes on a smiling, panting dog face on the little white dog from next door.!
Now I am both relieved and disappointed at the source of the panting... and have no idea of what to do with the dog and too scared to get out of bed My daughter is upstairs..so I ring her on her mobile to wake her up and she comes down picks up the offender, gives it a drink and pats it (she knows it quite well) and then takes it home to it's kennel. It's about 3am by now...

He had dug under the fence and come through the cat door for a visit...lonely, as his owners were still out!

Meanwhile the cat had not even raised an eyebrow....

Posted by: thelynathdiary at June 5, 2008 10:25 PM

BM,
Most annoying, three times for me tonight too.
Perth sounds like a typical burmese lady. Can't agree with the dogs inside, always had boxers they have the most fettid habit.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at June 5, 2008 9:41 PM

My elderly wise Jewish friend always says you must tip out the dirty water before you put in the clean. I think we should always try to start with an open mind and a clean slate.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 5, 2008 9:18 PM

Hey Guys, What about a blog topic on Pets and how they interract and fit in with a new relationship or do they cause conflict. I know one guy I met was horrified when he found out that my dog wandered around wherever she wanted to as he believes animals should be kept outside. I cannot see the use of owning a pet that is going to be locked outside and my german shepherd is wonderful with us in the evening and she is where we are. She is the fifth gsd I have owned and they have all become an integral part of our family unit.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 5, 2008 9:16 PM

how can you punish someone for what they have not done, what they had no part in.........I wouldn't pay for a movie ticket to a film some other guy saw...so why would I suffer the anger that is directed at him.......why would your partner want you to....Granted it may not be intentional, but I think we have to follow thetradey's wisdom on that one...if your not ready, or at least open, to giving your new partner your all,... unconditionally, then it is too soon.

Posted by: spanky668 at June 5, 2008 9:14 PM

Hi amber, The door was fitted by my eldest daughters partner as part of a christmas present as he is a glasier. Apparently the big sliders are a problem also because the glass is toughened. This is fitted in a normal window pane and is a round perspex contraption, it's great. Willow my cat is a little brown burmese who thinks she is a dog. She is choc brown with huge golden eyes and loves everyone. She is so laid back and doesn't always land on her feet. I have seen her fall off my bed and land completely on her head before she wakes up. She takes a flying leap from outside and then butts the little door with her head which immediately opens and she's airborne. It's an unbelievable site, scares the dog witless, me too at times especially when I'm asleep. She then just crawls up on the bed with me and goes to sleep, like it's no big deal at all. I don't think OG;s idea of locking it would be good at all!!! God, no wonder I am still living on my own, who else would put up with me, lol

Posted by: iaminperth at June 5, 2008 9:09 PM

Hello iaminperth,
I love your cat, he sounds like a real character! I wanted to put a doggy door into my laundry but it is also a sliding door and apparently you have to replace the whole panel of glass. It costs 100s of $. So I was thinking about the bottom of the window into my family room.
I don't think my little dog would be quite so erratic, but I'm not sure about my daughter's little fellow!

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 5, 2008 8:55 PM

thetradey - 7.24pm. I like what you have said too. Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at June 5, 2008 8:42 PM

tassiedude1 - 12.23am.

"Sometimes a short time with somebody is better than no time at all."

That is so true! So, so true. And gee I am so grateful for those short times. I have had on-line contacts that have changed my life. Even though in a couple of cases the hopes and dreams were there that Yes this was the right link, yet it wasn't. It doesn't matter, the experience was so worthwhile. The growth was so worthwhile. The friendship was so worthwhile.

I treasure all the experiences in this whole dating thing. That special person is there for me. We will find each other, and who knows where. Maybe we will just bump into each other. He'll walk into my work. Or maybe he is in this RSVP network somewhere. The search contines, and in the meantime I will continue to enjoy the wonderful people I am meeting and chatting to.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at June 5, 2008 8:38 PM

Hello everyone....nice to see some new contributors...and nice to see I am not the only one who has troubles signing in...(already happened tonight....seriously...a heck of a lot of people pay to be on this site and it is not reliable....customer service is definitely an oxymoron!!!)
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at June 5, 2008 8:15 PM

I have a german shepherd and she won't let the cat come thru my back door. Can't do one in the sliding glass doors to the family room so decided to put in a window in my bedroom. My little cat can now come and go as she pleases but seems to think the door is a game. She has easy access from the outside but seems to prefer the loud crash when hitting the door and then somersaulting across the carpet. Scares the dog witless at times. She then curls up on the bed with me and goes straight to sleep.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 5, 2008 8:13 PM

Lovely sentiments, thetradey.
I agree completely.

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 5, 2008 8:06 PM

No the person in your next relationship should not pay at all,should not even think about it until you have grieved and healed your heart and soul and relieved your self of the angst and emotional turmoil that goes with a relationship breakdown.The next person should be loved and trusted unconditionally for who and what they are.Leave yesterday behind,always better to watch a sunrise than remember a sunset.

Posted by: thetradey at June 5, 2008 7:24 PM

Thank you oldergent but I don't have anyone on my favourites list.

Estelle

Posted by: enrepres at June 5, 2008 4:40 PM

enpress, @ 12.55 pm
Most likely caused by one of your favourites logging in or out.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at June 5, 2008 4:01 PM

I thought blog topics got retired on a FIFO basis not a LIFO.

Lister30 @ 9.42pm

You shouldn't be upset at wasting 6 months on this woman.
You spent 6 months cultivating a friendship/relationship with
someone who made an impact on your life. So it was not your
ideal. Appreciate the experience and the friendship made.
If you are still 'too' emotionally involved with her, move on and find
someone else. If you can value the friendship without expectations, then by all means continue to be present as a friend only.

Posted by: enrepres at June 5, 2008 3:21 PM

grrrr i left a comment and alas is nowhere to be found!

but it said (shortened version now) thanks for making me feel so welcome!!!! and all your kind words on my profile! (which is down again, wouldn't want my rastalious man to think I'm still lookin!!!)

on this subject all i have to say is~ if your making your new partner pay for the mistakes in the past, then your not ready to date yet!!! its not his fault don't be bitter, move on, make yourself a better person, and throw yourself to the wind and enjoy your next relationship with an open heart!!

Posted by: applesryum at June 5, 2008 2:44 PM

perth - can I ask why you put the cat door in the window instead of in or beside the door? My cat door is next to the back door and my cats and dogs just walk through it ..... no flying through the air and landing then rolling accross the floor. For that I think my dogs would need a mini trampouline ;-))

Posted by: woodnwine at June 5, 2008 2:29 PM

Thanks OG, Do you know of anywhere I could purchase a little crash helmet, burmese cat size. She actually hits the floor after the leap and rolls across the carpet. I would hate to think that she hit the door at that speed and force and it was locked!!!!............ouch. I might try ignoring her as I think she is now doing it for effect.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 5, 2008 1:31 PM

Perth @ 9.22 am.
loved it, now to appoint the next wannabe King, (not me thanks).

I was going to post you on the blog that has just finished.

I have been thinking for a while now after a couple of meets started by me and mutually finished. It is not really that important what I want as a partner, it is critical that the partner wants me, firstly, Secondly that she has kissed me, Thirdly that we can early on set the parametesr of the relationship, then move on.( I will in that case have no trouble stamping her.) I have said from day one that I would prefer not to live in full time but to share time and houses, then have time alone. This got hacked about in the FWB blog. As you so rightly state, it is not hard to get into a routine and comfort zone, the only thing missing is a monogamous caring partner. Bill found these things out and realised that what qualities he sought after he never found, by accepting someone outside his age prefference she found him. What a difference just one change has made to his life.
I have noticed the jests about me being next, but I am doing things my way, nice and quitely, one at a time.
You will be inundated with Easteners moving over out of this rat race to transfer WA into the rat race.
Even some couples from this town have left.

About your cat door, lock it, that will make it slow down, they learn fast LOL.

Posted by: oldergent at June 5, 2008 1:20 PM

Same thing happened with rentals in Mackay in North Qld - driven up by the mining boom and forcing residents out of town.

Posted by: woodnwine at June 5, 2008 12:22 PM

There is a huge rally on in Perth today to try to address the plight of some of the aged pensioners/carers/disabled people. There is a rental crisis in Perth at the moment because of the mining boom. Unfortunately, with rentals hitting sky high, to accommodate the incoming population a lot of the permanent residents are being pushed out. Young students etc., are also finding it extremely hard to find anywhere to rent. Not a good thing at the moment for the permanent residents here.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 5, 2008 12:08 PM

I had a new cat door installed in a window and my little cat seems to think you have to hit it at speed and then do a sort of swan dive thru it and land in a heap on the floor. Gosh I've had a bad night hardly any sleep, I think my cats on drugs or something !

Posted by: iaminperth at June 5, 2008 12:04 PM

hahaha... thanks Woody!

My day, night, year & life.. definitely! I've always been a huge fan of Enjoying Myself!

I intend to keep having fun until I'm 120!
(I believe that's widely accepted as the use-by date on our bodies if we remain healthy..)

Posted by: decoratress at June 5, 2008 12:03 PM

decoratress - I think they've closed that topic. Enjoy your day ..... night ...... year ........ and life:-)

Posted by: woodnwine at June 5, 2008 11:35 AM

Cheers Og!!! The king is dead, long live the King!

Posted by: iaminperth at June 5, 2008 11:22 AM

For some reason I can't sign in on the Search topic.. just another ghost in the machine!

So until I can, THANK YOU to all those who've wished me Happy Birthday this morning.. you guys are great, & I luurves you all!!
Txxx

Posted by: decoratress at June 5, 2008 11:02 AM

Sometimes a short time with somebody is better than no time at all.

Posted by: tassiedude1 at June 5, 2008 12:23 AM

Lister

I went through this, being a friend to a woman, regular companion for some time, hoping she would actually have a relationship with me, she never did.

I never really gained self respect with that woman, we were always "friends".

I still know her, never go out with her anymore, but happy to say Hi.

Thing is, I have never been that soft, like a doormat to any woman since. I wouldnt say I am hard, but I now respect myself, and choose to walk away, rather than lose my hard earnt self esteem ever again.

Posted by: virgil at June 4, 2008 11:57 PM

Perth

You rarely say anything I disagree with.
As usual sensible, 100% correct, concise and to the point. Grammatical correction as as well, ahhh excellent.

Posted by: virgil at June 4, 2008 11:44 PM

Lister, it is called getting a life and enjoying it.....you certainly do not need to have someone that essentially has used you for a while and then given you the heave ho...
Show that YOU are a better person and be true to yourself, your values and integrity, for your assets will far outweigh her insecurities with herself.

Put a smile on your dial and hold your head high....................K

Posted by: auntykaz at June 4, 2008 11:03 PM

You are so angry at yourself for wasting six months of your life - well yes, doesn't that answer your question. Move on, what are you a beaten puppy or a man ??? Get a life, be strong if she wants to move from man to man and gets hurt doing it, hey that's life, that's not your problem. Meet someone nice, take the time to meet someone who appreciates you. And also, a full stop between sentences would be good also. Move on, you will feel better about yourself you are not put on this earth to be someone elses doormat.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 4, 2008 10:45 PM

lister@ 9.42 pm.

Have to agree with OG. Walk away or you'll end up with as little self respect as she has shown you. Learn from the experience and MOVE on with life.

Posted by: ynotalice at June 4, 2008 10:41 PM

Hi lister@ 9.42 pm.
Welcome, don't walk away from her, run. How many times do you need to be shown she doesn't respect you.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at June 4, 2008 10:19 PM

hi there i was recently the rebound guy for a woman i wasted six months waiting for her to come around to realising that i cared bout her deeply and wanted to make something more of a relationship only to have her start dating someone and not have the guts to stand up and tell me that there was no chance of anything happening between us i'm only a little upset because of losing her but am so angry at myself for wasting six months chasing a dream is this normal for women to do this also i have chatted to her since and she sounds like she has just settled on this bloke rather than actually wanting to be with him should i break all ties with her or still be her friend as i do care bout her alot as a friend and last thing i want is for her to get hurt or am i just being too nice any comment suggestions would be appreciated

Posted by: lister30 at June 4, 2008 9:42 PM

Why would a 26 year old woman be purposedly looking for a 41 year old man??? Granted if they met at work or a social function and were able to get to know each other quite well something may click but I can see no reason for a woman that age to go looking for a 41 year old. Get real, it's ridiculous

Posted by: iaminperth at June 4, 2008 7:54 PM

troyohboy .... haha. A bit harsh maybe but funny never the less. I think creative is probably very genuine but I agree he isn't targetting the right market for him and politely suggested as much earlier.

Posted by: woodnwine at June 4, 2008 1:39 PM

Posted by: troyohboy at June 4, 2008 1:00 PM

What tha?!!?

This is something like a thing I posted 3-4 days ago and now it appears? Very bizarre and rather out of context now.

Troy

Posted by: troyohboy at June 4, 2008 1:31 PM

Hey creative, how about you check out the female profiles and look for all those 26 year olds, with no kids, looking for a 41 year old overweight bloke in your area. Send them all an email, shouldn't cost much.
Guess I'm one of the girls like woody haha.

Troy

Posted by: troyohboy at June 4, 2008 1:00 PM

"The only one who should have to pay for a bad relationship is the person in your next relationship."

How much does a bad relationship cost anyway?

Posted by: woodnwine at June 4, 2008 9:55 AM

Amber that must have been so hard, having a mother like that and so sad for your mother wasting part of her life like that. I honestly believe that the only person we can control is ourselves and our reaction to things. We can all learn from the negative actions of others and not repeat them ourselves. Gosh life is short enough without cluttering it up with bygone problems.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 3, 2008 7:19 PM

Perth

you are absolutely correct. When I was in my early 20's I attended a 12 step program meeting, for family members of alcoholics.

After attending a few meetings, a common thread emerged, most continued to attend many years after the offender had either stopped drinking, left the relationship or died.

Whist I can understand their need for a community of interest, continually kept the behaviour at the front of their mind.

Many people find a caring and supporting community in ther church, without constantly bringing to mind distressing events that may have happened many years ago.

Posted by: virgil at June 3, 2008 10:52 AM

So true perth,
Isn't making a new start, and a new happier relationship, what we are all looking for?
If we keep living in the past, and blaming others, then it's not going to ever be possible.

My mother is an extreme case of never getting on with your life. My parents separated when my mother was in her mid 40s, she turned 74 this year.
Despite having had several longish relationships after him over the years, and despite the fact that my father has been dead for over 8 years, she still blames him for her life!!
Talk about not letting go! My mother always blamed everyone for her disappointments in life, but my father more than anyone.
Yet she only spent 20 of her 74 years with him!
There is no way I intend on living my life like that!

Posted by: amberlight58 at June 3, 2008 9:18 AM

People do unfortunately, they go on and on about previous relationships and try to justify their own bad behaviour on their experiences. It almost becomes a new focus of conversation at times and takes a life on its own. When it is all sorted out after all the dramas and anguish there is nothing left of the current relationship as it hasn't been developed, so on the merry go round again. Personally, I find it tedious and boring to hear of someones past problems over and over. If a person is that torn up there are plenty of psychologists and psychiatrists out there to help, but don't lump it all on another person in the expectation of getting attention, it's negative and tedious in my opinion and ruins any chance for a new start.

Posted by: iaminperth at June 3, 2008 5:02 AM

I don't think the person in the next relationship should pay for the bad relationship. A couple of things I've learnt so far is take time out from relationships to find out what you want from your life, sort thru the lessons from the last relationship and then move forward with a more positive outlook. The pain and trust will take a while to heal, but don't make others pay for what the ex's do to you. What goes around comes around and leave it at that.

Posted by: mattseventyone at June 2, 2008 1:04 AM

iaminperth, they could be just wanting a Monday-Friday girl only, coz they have someone else to play with on the weekends already!!! They might even have a few people that they are playing with...hence the no pc story and mobile only!!!!

have a lovely sunday all...jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at June 1, 2008 9:43 AM

I have had a couple of contacts in my time on here who have said they don't have a PC at home and can only contact from work and I have to admit rightly or wrongly I start wondering why. I know that maybe not everyone has a PC at home, but I do wonder why especially if coupled with only a mobile phone number.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 31, 2008 6:38 PM

SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR THERE BOOBOO"

Posted by: twoeyes at June 1, 2008 1:57 AM

Thank you Perth, Amber and Sym - your words of encouragement are very appreciated. Yes, very good advice I will ignore the bashers and sandthrowers (great descriptive words too :-)). Amber, I really enjoy and appreciate your blogs too and I agree with alot of what you are saying :-). It would be lovely if you were all able to come to the Adelaide meet too!

Sym, I had a similar experience with my ex as you did re the comparisons with the ex-wife. It was so frustrating and in some ways quite insulting. Don't want to go into too much detail here but there were other many other issues connected with the ex (or rather his issues with his ex) that contributed to the eventual wearing down of the relationship. Sad but true. Yes Sym, I agree with you I am also much happier alone at the moment than being in a stressful relationship (which it was) but also it would be nice to have a genuine and loving boyfriend/partner again - "I await in joyful hope".... lol
Perth, I'm sorry to hear your puppy is so stressed from the storm (but great you are getting rain!!). My "Mr Issues" doggy gets very freaked out too from thunder and lightning,as well as fireworks during festive season(s). He paces up and down the hallway, howling for most of the night - very distressing for dogs isn't it! So I feel for your pup (and also hope you get some rest tonight :-).)

Chat to you all soon, nighty night! (gawd, does that sound too silly again ?)

Jac (Miss P).

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 31, 2008 10:23 PM

I have had a couple of contacts in my time on here who have said they don't have a PC at home and can only contact from work and I have to admit rightly or wrongly I start wondering why. I know that maybe not everyone has a PC at home, but I do wonder why especially if coupled with only a mobile phone number.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 31, 2008 6:38 PM

Hi Priss, love your photos, really nice, just keep chatting away and ignore the bashers. Virgil is nice and Marcus is too when he wants to be and a lot of other people. There are only a couple of them who are complete phonies and if you get anywhere near to uncovering them they start screaming that you are a puppet. How can you be hurt by someone you have never met, will probably never meet and probably wouldn't like anyway. It is storming in Perth today, thunder lightening the works. I haven't seen rain like this in years. My big puppy is stressed out, she hates the thunder and gets very afraid. We go thru this every year when the fireworks go off at the showgrounds as well. She is such a calm dog usually but really responds badly to loud banging noises. Methinks it might be a long night tonight !

Posted by: iaminperth at May 31, 2008 6:33 PM

To add to my previous comment:
On thinking, we wouldn't actually know if they ARE our next-door neighbour, would we? (Scary, actually!)
So may be, at least if your neighbour smiles and says hello (well mine do, anyway!) they at least don't give you a hard time in "real" life!

Posted by: amberlight58 at May 31, 2008 5:59 PM

Hi misspriss, (and iaminperth, but you seem to be managing very nicely on your own!)
I wouldn't worry too much about being accused of being a "puppet".
I have no idea about the history of all this as I've only been here for a few months, but it seems to me that some people can blog under multiple profiles and that is considered okay, and then other people are accused and pilloried for being a multiple profiler (or a multiple profiler's "puppet") simply because their blogging style is similar, or they "say" something that reminds someone of that person or whatever.
Personally I like to keep out of the politics, I get into enough trouble with Troy!

The truth is no one really knows if someone is the "real deal" or not, until they get to know them personally.
And even then, how well do you know that person really?
Even people we thought we knew well for many years, for example a partner, can be almost unrecognisable as the person we once trusted and loved!
Just keep blogging as is your right.
Some people will acknowledge you, some will be encouraging and some will keep giving you a really hard time.
Just try not to take it personally, (easier said than done, I know!) and be happy; at least they are not your next-door neighbour!

Posted by: amberlight58 at May 31, 2008 5:09 PM

Jacqui (Miss P) good to see you still on here, I've been away for a bit.....ignore all the bashers and sand throwers and keep being who you are!

I agree re other posts that the whole rebound/revenge situation is distasteful and shallow at best; malicious and vindictive at worst.

I had a perfectly nice sounding, nice looking, genuine sort of man email me on here recently. He was a little older than my "ideal", but all good. He then proceeded to compare aspects of my profile to aspects of his ex-wife over several emails. Even though he'd had a live-in relationship in the meantime, he seemed somewhat fixated on his wife. This was very off-putting and I didn't end up ringing him. I wonder if he would like me comparing him in my emails to my handsome, younger ex-partner of 5 years?!?! :-)

Had another email contact on here too, which I haven't followed up. A few things didn't seem quite right and after several emails it turned out he'd only been separated (maybe?!) from his wife for a few months. This coupled with his lack of home PC and scant profile set alarm bells ringing. Another email trail leading to no phone call from me!

So, no I don't want to be anyone's rebound punching bag. I'm well over my two past relationships, and agree that my own company is great/fine, but a lovely partner would be nice too!

Cheers, Helen

Posted by: symbiosis66 at May 31, 2008 1:04 PM

Posted by: iaminperth at May 30, 2008 9:51 PM

Hi Perth, the photo has been successfully uploaded - it's not the best, they actually have "green eyes" in the shot not "red" lol. They are both Griffons - one is the rough coat (Stan) and the smooth is his mum (Jess). She weighs only about 4.5 kgs and is a little bit overweight as she is very food -motivated :-) (10 yrs old in August). I've nicknamed Stan "Mr Issues" as he is a bit of a nervy dog, but very loving - he's about 5.5 - 6. kg (8 yrs old in June). Their correct full breed name is Griffon Bruxellois, they are also known as Barabacons
(?spelling) and Griffon Brussels.I'll leave the photo on my profile without a password. I did have a clearer shot of them but their tags showed my phone number so for security reasons will not be putting that photo on my profile :-). For those of you who doubt my authenticity if you know SA's dog registering rules you will see that their current register tags are yellow which is the current colour until about July 2008 before re-registration!! Not that that will probably help my cause anyway! :-)
Ciao,

Jac (Miss P)

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 31, 2008 12:20 PM

I dont think the rebound person is used at all...nor do I think ANYONE should pay for a bad prior relationship....people need to sort themselves out emotionally before they embark on the next episode...

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at May 31, 2008 8:48 AM

Hi Jac, Would love to see the puppy pics. My puppy now weighs about 38kgs and is still beautiful. She's laying by my feet at the moment having a snooze.
Although if I am supposed to be a puppet, then I would have a puppy puppet, pity the poor person who tried to put their hand up my puppy puppet, she's a german shepherd and would not be amused.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 30, 2008 9:51 PM

Thankyou Decoratress. It sounded quite ominous and I wanted to be informed. I think there are many of personality disorders, hiding on sites such as these. Unfortunately some are too hard to see until its too late!!

Posted by: mystiemuse at May 30, 2008 8:49 PM

Woodnwine, the fact is, there are SOME people who do take the time to get their head and their heart together before they decide they are ready to move on to a new relationship.

That is, a real realtionship, with real feelings and real commitment. One that is not based on revenge or ulterior motives.

All it means is that these people are not going to "eatrootandleave" nor are they going to become unofficial and unpaid 'baggage carriers" for the emotionally lazy and desperatelyy needy, nor are they about to fall for the first person who comes their way and give their heart and their trust away to the first person who doesn't deserve it.

Posted by: waterlily58 at May 30, 2008 8:10 PM

Marcus, is your nursery rhym any reference tothe fact that weasles have very weak spines?
D

Posted by: waterlily58 at May 30, 2008 7:59 PM

Posted by: decoratress at May 29, 2008 10:04 PM

Decoratress, I think the word 'sociopath' is warning enough to us all.

Posted by: waterlily58 at May 30, 2008 7:56 PM

Posted by: virgil at May 30, 2008 4:42 PM

Thanks Virgil, yes I'm real too (as Perth also confirmed she is - Hi Perth, I've taken some photos of my dogs last night and hopefully will upload one tonight! I'm not the best photographer so they have "red eyes" but they still look very cute!)
Enjoy the Crows game tonight Virgil - when hopefully they will beat Essendon! :-) Can't be bothered blogging anymore tonight as I'm still being victimised for absolutely nothing.
Good night all,

Jacqui (Miss P)

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 30, 2008 7:01 PM

that should read foreshore, what's wrong with me !!!

Posted by: iaminperth at May 30, 2008 5:49 PM

Yes Virgil, I am real, it's overcast here today, big rows over Alan Carpenters silly comments about new development at Fremantle, sounds and looks magnificent. Still arguing about Subi Stadium. Neal Fong wants the new one to be run by him, others don't, the chair sniffer is not sniffing at the moment. What else, nothing much changes in downtown Perth, Rhonda Whyllie booked and fined $1000 for being a hoon, love the car!!!! Start a new job next week in West Perth, It's not terribly cold here at the moment probably because it's going to rain again. Arguments over a ferris wheel on the foreshaw and Donny Osmond performing at Burswood. yaaawn !!

Posted by: iaminperth at May 30, 2008 5:39 PM

mystiemuse @ 1.25pm...

There is a manipulative sociopath roaming the blogs. His sole intent is to disrupt, abuse & deceive. He has many profiles.

Weasel words.. watch for them, is all I'm saying.

Dictionary-
"Sociopath: a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes & behaviour, and a lack of conscience"

Posted by: decoratress at May 30, 2008 5:33 PM

Marcus

I seem to be having troube joining the dots, and maybe thats a good thing.

The weasel piece was addressed to Jacqui, now you say the warning was linked to the weasel.

I am absolutely convinced Jacqui is on the level and who she says she is, as I am convinced Perth is also on the level.

Posted by: virgil at May 30, 2008 4:42 PM

Mystiemuse, something to do with being led around the mulberry bush by a weasel maybe.....................K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 30, 2008 4:40 PM

mystiemuse at May 30, 2008 1:25 PM

Completely off topic, but can soem one please enlighten me as to what that email warning was all about? Please?
..............................
Something to do with weasel words methinks.

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 30, 2008 3:42 PM

Oops that should have been "Not" have to deal with our spillage.......blah!!!

Posted by: mystiemuse at May 30, 2008 1:47 PM

Completely off topic, but can soemone please enlighten me as to what that email warning was all about? Please?
As for baggage, we all have it, its just that some of us have managed to finally pack it away and others are still trying to fit it all in where it won't constantly spill out for everyone to see. Our next relationship should now have to deal with our spillage, but they can help us to clean it up more quickly. And as long as they know thats what they are doing, then all should be well!!

Posted by: mystiemuse at May 30, 2008 1:25 PM

Without being obsessive or tactless about it, I think discussing your last partner with a new partner can sometimes be helpful. It can give you a bit of insight into what happened in the past, why things went wrong, and it also can build trust. Good open communication is so important and if two people can talk about just about anything then they are well on the way to being able to solve just about anything.

Posted by: woodnwine at May 30, 2008 1:16 PM

Hi perth,
Absolutely! BTW it sounds like your dog is a very good judge of character! Is that the one in your picture?

Hi grego,
So true. I think having children with an ex makes it so much harder to heal and I agree with you about "The wounds heal but the scars remain".
I'm still not sure I am ready to open those cupboards full of bones yet!

Posted by: amberlight58 at May 30, 2008 1:00 PM

When I was a teenager I was told the best way to get over a girl was in the arms of another.This is probaly sound advice for "puppy" love. However, I dont think the same applies for adults.

Amberlight put forward very good points and that being alone does not mean one is lonely and that having a period of solitude is wise to free oneself of past "baggage"

Creativestuart"s practice of a "cleansing" period between relationships is very sound and mature advice as well as being most honest and honourable lifestyle.

From my experience, many and perhaps most, people do not fully recover from a disasterous adult relationship. It becomes a matter of "baggage" management rather than "baggage" elimination.The wounds heal but the scars remain.

In the situation where one has children the healing process can take a lot longer.Mainly because one has to interact with the ex until the children grow up.My ex still has a remarkable capacity to hurt me by some of her actions and words. I suppose one has to learn to de-sensitise as part of "bagagge" management.

In a new relationship if both people are totally honest about their scars then a negative rebound situation may not arise. And may I say it can be very difficult to open up all the cupboards and show the bones hidden away there.

But in the end there is no substituter for a "cleansing" period and some introspection before getting on the merry go round again.

rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at May 30, 2008 12:44 PM

Hi Amber, I think you really touched on it there, when it is someone to care about you. Kids are great, family is great too but there is no-one to go home to, to relax with and chill out with, a partner you can 'debrief' with for want of a better word. I like my own company and potter around quite happily with my dog and family but I would like that special person to have a chat and to share thoughts and feelings with. All in all though life is good and I would rather continue life like it is than introduce another person into it who simply is not a good fit. There are so many nice people out there, but would they fit into your lifestyle and would you fit into theirs. I think as you get older as well you really need a good sense of humour and be able to have a laugh at yourself at times. Although I must admit some of the younger guys I have met are not in such good shape and I've run rings out of them. Oh dear!! My dog didn't like one either and she decided to sit between us on a park bench overlooking the ocean at Cottesloe. She has never ever done that before but was clearly agitated. How funny is that, she is 38kgs now and quite beautiful. I didn't see him again and he has disappeared off the site, lol.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 30, 2008 12:21 PM

Sorry woodnwine,
It's my fault if I confused anyone.
It is 3 years. I was separated for the mandatory one year, before I divorced my husband. I have been divorced for 2 years.
But it did take a long time to re-find myself, I was a "bit of a mess" for a long time.

Yes gemsbling, so much more positive and empowering than being "lonely".
Good luck, I hope it goes wonderfully well for you!

Posted by: amberlight58 at May 30, 2008 12:16 PM

"After 3 years post-separation, and 2 years post divorce, I feel I am now "whole enough" as a person, to perhaps begin to look for another partner." Posted by: amberlight58 at May 30, 2008 10:51 AM

amberlight - I am not in any way having a go at you but 5 years is a long time to find yourself. In general though, I have found it takes women longer than men .... I wonder why that is.

Posted by: woodnwine at May 30, 2008 11:58 AM

Posted by: gemsnbling at May 29, 2008 7:28 PM

Great relaunch. Good luck.

grego

Posted by: grego7 at May 30, 2008 11:30 AM

Hi Virgil,
You explained it exactly, as did iaminperth (cute dog, perth!)
For me it was more than 5 very sad and lonely years, before I finally got the courage to leave.

Hi chas56,
Good question. After 3 years post-separation, and 2 years post divorce, I feel I am now "whole enough" as a person, to perhaps begin to look for another partner.
In the country close to Adelaide, (apparently up north it is quite different!) there aren't a lot of single blokes and living in a smaller community you get to hear why some of the single blokes are on their own (drinking problems, drug problems, violence, etc to name a few reasons why women don't exactly chase after them!)

One of the ladies where I work, told me about a couple of friends of hers in Adelaide, who had been successful finding partners through RSVP, so I thought I'd just see what happens. (not a lot actually, but that's okay, I never went on here with any great expectations!)

I am also finding that some of my friends and work colleagues are now really keen (at times, somewhat too keen!) to "look out" for me as well.
I am a great believer that meeting people through friends is probably more successful (though it can take a long time!) as you often have more things in common.
I also still have children living at home, so I also believe I need to be even more careful for their sakes.

So while I like my own company and do not feel at all lonely, it would be a bonus to find someone whom I could spend time with and with whom I could perhaps forge a partnership.
Unlike in my early twenties, I don't have the same issues with low self-esteem and I've had my children, so I'm looking for a more "equal" and caring relationship than I had in my marriage.
I'm happy to wait for as long as it takes; but it doesn't mean I'm not looking, just not desperately!
Yet!

Posted by: amberlight58 at May 30, 2008 10:51 AM

Marcus @ 8.48pm.. You have my permission to hit me over the head with a housebrick (a cyber one of course). Was a very tired girl last night and it went right over my head.. Damn... On re reading this morning, well, what can I say but.. Good one!!! Keep em comin'............."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 30, 2008 10:07 AM

Sometimes we are happy with our own company, sometimes we aren't .... and this is apparent to others .... a bit like the power of positive thinking.

Posted by: woodnwine at May 30, 2008 9:19 AM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 29, 2008 8:48 PM

I am admirer of your literary depth and your ability to choose an appropriate piece.
Round and round indeed and where it stops nobody knows.....perhaps haha.

Troy

Posted by: troyohboy at May 30, 2008 9:03 AM

Virg, Never a truer word. I think it is so much better to be lonely alone than lonely with another person. I am still extremely cautious as I am looking for a true partner in life but would rather stay single than ever getting into a situation of being lonely with another person.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 30, 2008 8:18 AM

Amberlight58,Just wondering,you like your own company etc.How come you are on a site like RSVP?
Cheers chas56

Posted by: chas56 at May 29, 2008 11:33 PM

amberlight @ 10.12pm...

I couldn't agree more.
If we're not happy with our own company..

..why should anyone else be?

Posted by: decoratress at May 29, 2008 11:33 PM

I think nobody would knowingly take frustrations of a past relationship on a new partner, but it would probably happen.

Therefore the old ways, friendship first and see what happens, is time tested to be a sound policy.

Posted by: virgil at May 29, 2008 11:32 PM

Amberlight

You are absolutely correct, when you say that sometimes in the last few months of a marriage, in a house full of family, with a partner and yourself who both know its over, is the saddest and most disempowering time I have ever known.

Nothing since has come close to it.

Posted by: virgil at May 29, 2008 11:23 PM

Sorry,
If you are confused, those last 3 words were originally part of the previous paragraph, I forgot to check and delete them!

Posted by: amberlight58 at May 29, 2008 10:38 PM

Marcus,
It must be 50 years since I have heard that Rhyme, thank you, If I remember rightly it was done to a circular movement, now I have scraps of others half remembered, rattling around, no thanks to you,lol.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 29, 2008 10:13 PM

Wow, the headings are now nearly as long as the defining paragraphs!

Lynath and exploringall seem to sum up the reasons why some people are seriously hurt by someone who simply wants to try to make their ex jealous, or is simply terrified of being lonely and alone.
Either scenario is not good for the "rebound" partner, who may genuinely believe the person cares for them, when the person is really only concerned with meeting their own needs or alleviating their own fears.

I'm not sure that too many people who are simply scared of being alone, deliberately mean to hurt the next person in their lives, it's more of a case of searching for a life raft when they feel they are drowning.
However, those who cruelly use another person simply to "get back" or "show" their previous partner, seem to be lacking in some maturity. And appear extremely selfish.
Maybe that was why their previous partner left them in the first place?

I am amazed at the number of people in their 30s, 40s & 50s who have never been alone for any length of time.
They have gone from their parents home, to a partner and then straight to another partner.
The thought of being alone, fills them with abject terror.
However, being alone is different to being lonely. I know how it felt to not be alone (as in married) but extremely lonely.
It felt so much worse and more soul destroying, than my current position of being alone (as in partner-wise).
I quite like being alone, I like my own company, it is very empowering.
I know I can survive. I don't have to settle for less than I deserve, simply because I am scared of being by myself.

I believe if everyone just tried being alone for a little while, and realised that they can survive, their next relationship might have a greater chance of being happier.
They would be with that other person because they choose to be, rather than because they need to be.

I think everyone

Posted by: amberlight58 at May 29, 2008 10:12 PM

Marcus, that you for your nursery rhyme.. Never did learn it in it's entirety so am quite chuffed.. In fact never had nursery rhymes as a child and only had 2 x kiddy songs that my dad used to sing to me when I was a littlie. Still remember them word for word but only got to learn nursery rhymes when I had my first child back in the late 60's. Think I got as much of a buzz out of them as he (child) did. Cheers........ "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 29, 2008 10:10 PM

Posted by northernlights @ May 26, 2.51pm...

"you are soon to be exposed for the disingenuous multiple profile blogger that you are. Such a holier than thou catholic girl who takes the high moral ground and preaches honour and integrity in her relationship philosophy on rsvp yet lets the most manipulative sociopath on rsvp do her bidding. Your sycophantic admiration and lust for amodnar aka misspriss; interlocution; zimbia; randomname; simplicious; justsaying; phoenixx27; ladysomelifeinmeyet; voltairen, lurker (not my profile name) and that's only a smattering of his more than 30 profiles. Do you know what sort of sociopath you are really dealing with? He is so far ahead of you in the manipulation stakes and has sucked you into his game. But it is just a game, and he will have you do his bidding and set you to do his dirty work and he will discard you when you have served his purpose. You will now gradually be exposed by others for your deception and the rsvp men on the blog and the site who you've been cultivating lately and who see you as a woman of honour and virtue will see the real you. RSVP can and will investigate the addresses of any profile email, so having multiple email addresses doesn't hide who you are, they can trace the blog to your computer. You will be more well known than you ever imagined, or desired. What goes around comes around."

This unsolicited email was sent to a blogger on May 25. Northernlights posted it publicly as a warning. I post it again, as a reminder.
Note the profile names carefully.

Caveat Emptor

Posted by: decoratress at May 29, 2008 10:04 PM

Marcus, a poem, no less....
and may l say you have picked a vexing one to boot...........K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 29, 2008 10:03 PM

Nice nursery rhyme Marcus, a rather cryptic post?

Posted by: virgil at May 29, 2008 9:54 PM

Gemsbling

A new name, new profile, new haircut, new job?

Great to see you so positive and bouncing.

Great to see you on the blogs as well. There is a lot to be said for a positive attitude, and a few treats at times.

Posted by: virgil at May 29, 2008 9:31 PM

I go into any new relationship with an open heart and mind.

Giving fully and honestly of myself to the new person, to be fair to them and actually to me too.

Adter a relationship I give myself at least 6 months to clense so this is possible.

Sure I have some history that will effect my early decisions but no "baggage"

It is plain and simply unfair to use others in the way described above!

Posted by: creativestuart at May 29, 2008 9:26 PM

Misspriss
Golly, for a grown up school girl you are an allrounder. Shakespeare is no challenge at all the way you recite and refer.

What about another area of English literary endeavour the Nursery Rhyme?
What do you think of this one, especially the last verse?
.
Half a pound of tuppenny rice,
Half a pound of treacle.
That�s the way the money goes,
Pop goes the weasel.

Up and down the City road,
In and out the Eagle,
That�s the way the money goes,
Pop goes the weasel.

Every night when I go out
the monkey�s on the table.
Take a stick and knock it off
Pop goes the weasel.

A penny for a ball of thread
Another for a needle,
That�s the way the money goes,
pop goes the weasel.

All around the cobblers bench
the monkey chased the people;
The donkey thought �twas all in fun,
pop goes the weasel.

Did you know Jacqui in the Middle ages it was thought weasels could hypnotise their prey by dancing in front of it?
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 29, 2008 8:48 PM

Love your reincarnation LH...aka..gem....
wish you well...am starting to notice a pattern on here here that pertains to attractive looking women as yourself......
had an eye opener today myself..was told that I don't make time for males....I replied that I would if I felt it was right??
See...I treat each situation on it's merits...not on how it was in the past.....

Posted by: bm1960 at May 29, 2008 8:45 PM

I've been divorced and widowed (in that order but a long time between!) and can say that deep / pervasive feelings for what you hoped a relationship could be (on a positive level) make a "hard act to follow". The bad stuff makes for a "justifiable paranoia".

But being "post relationship" could be seen as good or bad depending on how the relationship was perceived. Some people don't dump/get dumped and then moved on - some folks use others as an "exit relationship". But yes, some also use it "against" the ex with the "oh, look see how happy I am!" That is being irresponsible for your impact on others.

I'm tempted to put "first dates" as my main hobby these days because I try and detect issues like this within 1-3 dates.

I don't expect to "use" somebody for my own purposes nor do I want to be used by somebody wanting not to be lonely, to "complete" them, to exit a relationship, to prove a point or get revenge.

This isn't an "agro" thing - but informed by my experience of a partner dying rather than a "breakup" - a relationship doesn't have to fail to expose you to all the existential issues of life and making a new life and maybe a new relationship.

There's a good old line about how "the only thing in common all your failed relationships have is you!" So, odds on in a rebound relationship that has a negative foundation is a "martyr" and an angry person. Any urge to step into this sort of situation serially indicates there's a dysfunctional pattern.

That being said, ancora imparo.

Posted by: exploringall at May 29, 2008 8:39 PM

I would like to share this....I have totally lost my capacity to be hurt anymore, or have I lost my capacity to feel anymore...I have no idea, but really would like to know one day,
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 29, 2008 8:20 PM

Hi Jaqui,
Like you no expert, in my case not even a good student, just have a thing about words having been forced to study Philology at school. My copy is by Collins,1951 edition, a bit battered but still one of two books for the deserted island.
May I say I am delighted that you stayed around to post, especially after the battering you initially took, very courageous.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 29, 2008 7:53 PM

the baggage handlers will not carry it and you get charged for excess............
posted by twoeyes

I am totally over being 'interviewed" for the position of baggage-carrier!

Posted by: waterlily58 at May 29, 2008 7:32 PM

Hey guys, I got a new profile, I'm not "Lonely" anymore.
Check it out. Voom! Voom!
Oh on topic: Best to keep away from trouble when you see it coming. Best to go Zoom Zoom.
Better get going, got lots of other people to show me too.

Posted by: gemsnbling at May 29, 2008 7:28 PM

I have recently come out of a serious relationship (about 2 months ago) and to be honest not quite at the "moved on" stage ie I still miss him very much.I would probably be classed as still being "on the rebound", therefore I will be very upfront and honest about where I am "at" emotionally if I am fortunate to meet and "click" with a genuine new partner in the very near future.(Hope that makes sense?). I am looking forward now to meeting someone new as I know that in my heart we (my ex and I) both were wanting different things out of the relationship and were making each other miserable by procraastinating the eventual break

Posted by: oldergent at May 28, 2008 10:17 PM from previous blog - Sorry to digress folks just wanted to let OG know that I also have the hard copy of Shakespeare's complete works ("The Complete Works of William Shakespeare - Abbey Library,Murray Sales & Service Co, Cresta House...London) and have just looked up the part-quote - in my copy it starts on the bottom of page 825 and is in Act 1 Scene V (five). The messenger has advised Lady Macbeth that the King (Mr Macca) arrives at the Castle (Inverness) that evening. She then launches into her steely spiel (?), calling on the "spirits of the night" to assist her in finding courage to go ahead with her planned murder of Macbeth. Apologies, the Act and scene were slightly askew. I don't know many more quotes but this particular scene just blew me away as a 17 yr old kid. Please OG, trust me too, I am bona fide, and would never insult anyone's knowledge of the classics, especially yours :-), as you sound like a truly lovely gentleman. I'm no expert at all, just appreciate the beauty of the language, and love trying to nut out what they are trying to say in modern day English. (I went to a Catholic girls school and Shakespeare was drummed into us from about yr 10 and I loved it! - I was a very nerdy teenager lol :-) ).

Kind regards

Miss P, Jacqui

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 29, 2008 7:07 PM

I think rebound is a good visual term get one tiny thing inadvertently wrong, and they are often bouncing off the walls with rubber 'baggage' - It is something I try to discover at the first meeting, if someone is carrying a lot of baggage they won't keep up on the travelator in a new relationship (cabin baggage is ok though!)

Posted by: firelightlady at May 29, 2008 5:46 PM

The concept that you must "get revenge" on someone just because a relationship has ended is very silly. Relationships end for a reason ..there is no point in trying to keep someone in a relationship with you when they don't want to be there. It does not follow that they need to be punished!

The end of a relationship is painful especially if you are the one not wanting it to end, and perhaps there is the idea of "I'll show you what you are missing or how attractive I really am by finding someone quickly" which is more about regaining self esteem and fantasizing that the person will return once they realise what they have lost.

However if some kind of revenge , with tthe intent of causing pain by making the other person jealous, is the motive for the relationship then the new relationship is doomed and it is unfair to the new person to allow that to happen. That is why it is essential to get over one realtionship properly before moving on to the next.

I think many people want a new partner quickly because they want to maintain routines they have been in as a couple, for sex, to have their ego's boosted again, and because they are afraid to be single.

The new person may pay when they are no longer required as support but they are not paying for a ' bad relationship' as the previous relationship might have been quite okay throughout. The idea of dating and relationships is to find out about a partner and inevitably things will end if there is no compatibility for whatever reason. That is quite normal and people should realise the purpose before rushing into situations before they know a person well enough.
If you want to 'get revenge' on someone then you don't really love them much at all.

I don't understand the quote at the top "the only one who should pay etc" where is the logic in that sort of thinking? Why should they pay? Surely the idea is to make sure not to repeat same mistakes and be happy?

Posted by: thelynathdiary at May 29, 2008 5:43 PM

yep surely another way for some fighting and maybe even getting to the stage where the baggage handlers will not carry it and you get charged for excess............

Posted by: twoeyes at May 29, 2008 1:27 PM

So sad but so often true.

Posted by: woodnwine at May 29, 2008 1:23 PM

I absolutely disagree that the next person should pay for the sins of the previous. Sadly, it can be true in many instances though. I try to learn from the past and move forward with an expectation that every person is different and each encounter/relationship will not be like another. Well, I try!!
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 29, 2008 12:54 PM

Wow seems to be a great way to cause even more problems in your life -- what a novel idea create more and more baggage for yourself and inadvertently for others.

All this will do is create more contempt and bitterness amongst both sexes

Posted by: mgtow at May 29, 2008 12:37 PM