RSVP Blog

I think if anyone puts on their profile that they are looking for someone more than 20 years younger than themselves it makes people think they aren't really looking for a relationship and the nutters and/or players will be attracted. Worth thinking about.....

Posted by: woodnwine at May 27, 2008 8:06 AM

Selene, I think you are playing with fire if you are looking for 30 year olds on this website. You will get contacts of all ages, but you will get very young men down to about the age of 20 looking for an older woman. I'm pretty sure they are not looking for a long term relationship, more the kept toy boy relationship I would think. Tread very carefully and keep your wits about you or you could get very hurt.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 27, 2008 6:00 AM

Selene, nothing wrong with your profile or your age for that matter. Like Lonelyheart I'd question if he was much younger as you do state an age preference from 30yo and that's 22yrs younger than yourself. Not that there's anything wrong with it but you'd have to expect that some will contact you out of curiosity. Just the nature of the beast so to speak.Hang in there and I'm sure you'll meet a lovely "young" man yet. Good luck......"G" .

Posted by: amdoingit at May 26, 2008 10:53 PM

Hi Selene, sorry you got messed around.Wished you lived in Sth Aust.
Chas.

Posted by: chas56 at May 26, 2008 10:45 PM

selene2 at 9:38pm: I looked at your profile and thought "She is gorgeous to look at (men are so visual) and I also love what she has to say. Exactly my kind of perfect partner. I wish she was about 58 to 66, and I'd be hot on her trail."

But you're only 52, and that's really a bit too young, for a bloke still trying to decide whether he's 62 or 72. (Friends say one, birth certificate the other.)

Then I looked at your target age group - blokes from 30 to 50.

Sorry. The 30s are looking for 25 to 32 if they're fair dinkum, and the 50s are looking for 35 to 45, because they're not fair dinkum, just hopeful and illogical.

I guess you're trying to go for younger men because you're looking for a hat-peg, not a bell-rope.

Try changing to looking for 5 years under your age and 8 years older.

Posted by: timewarp1 at May 26, 2008 10:39 PM

Selene2: Gosh Selene, I think you just picked the wrong type of guy.
I had a look at your profile and I think you are very attractive.
Must say I have had problems with meeting guys with a too big of age gap though. It seems to create an issue. Was that guy much younger. That may have been a problem perhaps?
The age difference thing seems to create wacko personalities from younger guys, so they end up making the older woman look wacko.
I wouldnt just give up yet if I was you. I have found a few nice profiles on the blogs.

Posted by: lonelyheart44 at May 26, 2008 10:27 PM

Lonelyheart
Maybe there is intuition involved in your post below, maybe its something else, like possible life experience, enough for your friend to insist he sleeps on the couch, but not enough for your friend to pick that his mind was conflicted about what he was trying to achieve.
On the other hand, it is possible, that your friend was being deceived by this bloke, who may have had another partner somewhere, may have had something of a reconciliation with an ex, or any number of things.
To understand what he was thinking, one would need to know some of the things going through his mind, or be of the same personality type maybe?

Posted by: virgil at May 26, 2008 9:49 PM

Intuition is all well and good, but sometimes the basic nature of the other party just doesn't show through. I met a guy who seemed terrific. We had a great meal and drinks and talked for hours that evening. I made no secret of my age etc etc - it's hard to get anyone to even talk to me because I'm so "old". (Not my choice of description) - why can't guys look at who I am and at least give you a chance? We agreed to get in touvh later. As a result, when I did contact him later I was accused of being a stalker - to say I was offended is being mild. Now I'm finding I can't get anyone to even take me up on a chance meeting - why is that - has he 'spread the word' makes me seem paranoid, or is my intuition just going into overdrive? Begining to think I need to leave RSVP because it's not working. I wish you could be taken at face value.... maybe I should change my handle to "Passed the Used By Date".

Posted by: selene2 at May 26, 2008 9:38 PM

Firelightlady; you're right about her getting played. He played hard. But makes me wonder what made him come undone, and give up.
Could it have been an attack of the conscience, he may have had one?
You wondered why she persisted in expecting project assistance when she suspected him of being a flake?
I guess she became desperate, and part denial. She was trying not to over react in case she had it wrong. A case of paranoia perhaps?
Time had passed by, wasted important time was used up. Where was she going to go now kind of thing.
He sort of ended up holding a position of power at that time. Maybe that's what he set out to do, and gets a kick out of doing that kind of stuff.

Posted by: lonelyheart44 at May 26, 2008 9:25 PM

Lonelyheart,sorry to hear your friend got messed around by that "con man".He must have been a very sweet talker or your friend was very lonely and vulnerable or both.I reckon she should have called it quits when he was on with someone else from RSVP and when he rambled on about some girl in the US.
Virgil, Last Melbourne premiership was 1964.Go port.
Chas.

Posted by: chas56 at May 26, 2008 9:02 PM

My intuition is quite good but so is my diplomacy.

Posted by: woodnwine at May 26, 2008 7:40 PM

Lonelyheart - I imagine your friend was new to RSVP and simply got 'played', he didn't follow up on a single thing and was obviously using the ploy of the moment for cot time (which didn't work with your friend but may have worked with others!). It may have only lasted three weeks for your friend but she obviously had good intuition, I have to wonder why she persisted in expecting project assistance when the guy was a flake but such is life.

Women also do similar things. One co-worker in the staff room was boasting of dining out 5 nights a week and never paying once... she has between 2-4 RSVP, Lavalife and other singles at any one time.

I don't think your average man would have a better idea of this guy's behaviour, he just sounds like an oxygen thief in anyone's appraisal on these bare lines...

Posted by: firelightlady at May 26, 2008 7:29 PM

On blog topic: Acting on (Intuition).

When a friend first joined RSVP she met a guy in the south of her state who was a new comer from interstate. Her first impression of him was nice guy but something does not sound right. (Intuition?) He didn�t come across as relationship material but he kept on saying that�s all he was looking for.

After their first date she felt distance would be a problem with getting to know him, so he agreed and they did not plan to date again. One week later he calls and says he is missing her. They chat, and he�s having some problems. He says that he needed a friend. He appreciates her friendship, and doesn�t reply to a text from her later. Turns out he had started seeing another RSVPer.

Three weeks passed by, and he calls her up with a great offer to help her out on a big project because he was in the position to assist. This all seemed too good to be true, they had only met once. Something felt odd (Intuition?)

First thing that ended up going screwy over the offer was the date to when he could start participating in the project, and that changed. He all of a sudden needs to travel back home, interstate, for work reasons. That would take two weeks. He asks if he could stay at her place for a couple of nights before he catches the boat. While there he tries getting cosy with her, but all along talking about a girl in America, and how he was looking into applying for a Green card.

However he starts talking to her about moving into her home town to live with her, while at the same time making promises to do great things to help her out. All she could think was how this guy had proved nothing to her, and this could be a ploy to get her into bed. (Intuition?) He slept on the couch.

He calls her day and night when he gets back to his home state, and tells her of how much he is missing her, he is also in love with her, he wants to live with her, help her out on her project, and even if she ended up just wanting to be friends he would still help her out on her project. He says that he is no longer going to have his profile visible on RSVP, and says there and then while they speak that he is changing settings to hide it. Also he tells her of all the people he knows and how he is telling them about her, and showing her picture to everyone, and introduces her as his girl.

She tells him that he�s great, but she couldn�t promise that she could get in to a serious relationship with him straight away; she still felt they needed time to get to know each other. Getting intimate with him without being sure of whether they were going to be more than friends, would ruin a friendship. He went cool over the phone at that moment, something didn�t feel right (Intuition?)

That night she sent him an email to explain it better to him, and let him know how much she cared. The next day she sent a text to him to wish him a good day. She got no reply from either text or email, so after a couple of days she tries calling his mobile to find it was disconnected. She then sends him a couple of emails asking what�s going on. She also discovers that his profile is not hidden on RSVP, but he is also online for chat. A few days had passed since their last contact. He calls, and says he didn�t even know he had a disconnected mobile, but thought some one had blocked his mobile and emails because he was trying to get a Green card? Ummmmm, strange?????

So now he has to explain a few things that have come to light about the last few days. He has a work mobile and he tells her he will call her. When they finally talk, he says he is confused and is thinking about the USA, and is not sure whether he can help her in time, or when he will be coming back. He advises her to do whatever she has to survive. Her question to him is; �can you be honest, you sound like you have changed your mind about helping?�(Intuition?)
The answer from him is; �I am a good guy, but I think you better do other things to sort out your problems�.

Conclusion. It took her three weeks to find out this guy was just a joke, and lucky for her, her intuition was working very well because she found out that he wasn�t the full bob after all. But unfortunately the three weeks wasted on his so called support has caused her delays with solving the problems with the project, and now going ahead is more complicated, and will cost her a lot more than ever before.

Sooooooooo does anyone else see something in this that we don�t? Maybe you guys might have a better idea of what was going through this guys head, or was he just some kind of crack pot that likes to see a poor single mum struggle and suffer more than ever before because of the complications created with the delays that could have only been resolved with his support.

Posted by: lonelyheart44 at May 26, 2008 6:47 PM

Virgil, it's cyclic... Every team has their good run and then a lull while players change, etc, and they rebuild. Some take longer breaks than others but they all have their day. I'm not that one eyed that I can't say the opp deserved to win if they played better on the day. The Eagles had a good run but now it's someone else's turn.
Actually, I'm not even fanatical.. Was a Swans supporter when I still lived in Perth and just stuck with the same colours when I moved east. Was married to a fanatic (C/Wood) and was almost enough to drive me to drink. Only take a slight interest now and watch when I have nothing better to do.
Sorry but there you go. That's the truth..

Cheers..."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 26, 2008 6:45 PM

Not on topic but a question for you all..
I enquired recently why the speed dating had it's last age bracket at males 55 to 65 and females 49 to 55. Was told that they were catering to the demands of their members. I'd have thought that there was a place for women in their late 50's and even early 60's but seems not. A male friend of mine (58yo) who attended the last session is actually happy to find a woman his own age but when he registered wasn't asked his age preference. Interesting!!! Discriminatory if you ask me..What do you think???

Will be interesting to see if this gets posted. Could be interesting Karina and you may get some comments worth forwarding on to those who make the decisions!!

Cheers..."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 26, 2008 6:36 PM

Thank you Virgil..Did have a couple of names that I was toying with but have decided to leave it as is for now. Besides I doubt I'll be on this site for much longer. Have made some wonderful friends and don't need to remain here for those friendships to continue.
As for the dating side of things, I'm getting very disillusioned/frustrated with the players, married men, etc, that are so prevelant. Think I'm better off in the real world.

Cheers..."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 26, 2008 6:28 PM

Bill, it's Catalina Island. Went there when I was in LA a few years ago. Had a seminar on one of the Carnival Cruises so we went from Ca to Catalina, to Mexico and back to Ca so went the long way and took a few days all up but you can go from Long Beach (Ca) and I believe they have express ferries that take about an hour or just a bit over. Can do it as a day trip. Place is absolutely gorgeous. Am going to go back one dayand will stay over next time instead of doing the cruise. So much history...

Best I get to and do some searching so I can answer Bob's question.. Guess I'll find it on the google thing won't I??

Cheers "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 26, 2008 6:17 PM

I guess the pain we are feeling at the petrol pump at the moment means there is incentive for inventors to find an alternative to oil.

Posted by: virgil at May 26, 2008 5:42 PM

Virgil, sorry sweetheart but.."Go Pies".. :-))

Posted by: amdoingit at May 26, 2008 2:25 PM

amdoingit it is very good you havent changed your name, as it is a very good name.

It would be expected that Collingwood will win Saturday, but us Eagle supporters can still hope.

Posted by: virgil at May 26, 2008 5:34 PM

Yay Virgil, Go the Eagles......and the Baby Bombers of course. I am hopefully starting a new job shortly and will get tickets to all the Eagles home games......how popular will I be!!!

Posted by: iaminperth at May 26, 2008 4:16 PM

Virgil, sorry sweetheart but.."Go Pies".. :-))

Posted by: amdoingit at May 26, 2008 2:25 PM

Bob, no idea sorry. To be honest wasn't really on my mind at the time. Was more taken with the quaint little cars and didn't give the other a thought. . .. You do pose a good question though..
Need to do a few local deliveries in a minute but will see if I can find out when I get back.
Cheers..."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 26, 2008 2:22 PM

OG at 1.30pm: Electricity generation's going to be mainly nuclear, solar, wind and/or wave-powered, within a century or three (or a half-century), as coal becomes dearer, scarcer and scarier.

True - the nasty greenhouse CO.2 will still be produced from powerstations burning coal (or oil), but more easy to collect and trap it there, than coming out of millions of car exhausts.

G: What island? Where? Back to work.

Posted by: timewarp1 at May 26, 2008 2:09 PM

Virgil
Thanks Virgil for the warm welcome. I was wondering about where you were seeming you went quite for a few days. So pleased to see you here.
I have a whopper of a story to tell on here about Intuition, and because you know a bit about what is happening in my life, you will know exactly where I'm coming from.
I will get back on here soon to tell the story, just busy at the moment.
Soooooo will be back soon. At least I have the intro set up?

Posted by: lonelyheart44 at May 26, 2008 1:46 PM

lonelyheart,
Years back we had an oil shale colliery at Glenn Davis that produced oil from an oil rich shale. With the advent of new finds it closed because of the cost of producing it. It still was a natural resource though and finite. So no matter what man decides to produce it is going to entail the earths resources, unless of course it is solar, or magnetic field type of thing, which I do not think there is enough study and research into, oops nearly forgot fussion, but fussion seems to have been demonstrated and then called a fraud?

Kylie, don't panic, stay where you are,the virg seems to be back with renewed energy, sooner or later he will hop over your side of the fence. He does not seem to know that his drivelings about AFL to a lot of people is about as pleasant as watching manure dry, but it seems to be his choosen field of expertise so I suppose he has to have something in his (life?)

G, and a bloody big electricity bill, tell me is the local power generator coal or neuc. to get the clean air?
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 26, 2008 1:30 PM

Marcus and Stoic, l would imagine that anyone seeking higher office particularly in countries such as the U.S. and Britain would be fair game for assassination attempts or indeed attempts to destabilise...
One can only wonder what Al Gore would have been like as President of the U.S. ........................K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 26, 2008 1:26 PM

Lonelyheart

It is good to see you back here, and it is great to see your demonstrated courage, in the face of difficult circumstances and adversity.

Posted by: virgil at May 26, 2008 1:01 PM

Bill..spot on about the battery/electric cars. That's pretty much all they drive (with a few exceptions) on Cattalina Island. Bonus is clean, fresh air....."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 26, 2008 12:11 PM

Kylie

I dont care about your profile, but your comment about the Eagles is what some people describe as a front runner, that is supporting something while it is on top, then abandoning it when it goes through a reversal of fortunes.

The real supporters are the ones who each year, buy their seasons ticket, who go to cheer for their team in the rain, who support their team through years of adversity.

I dont mind the Eagles going through a rough patch, because we have known little but success making the finals nearly every year.

It give me admiration for the supporters of the Western Bulldogs, and maybe Melbourne who havent won a premiership since 1954 (not sure Melbourn'e last premiership.).

The people who attend Eagles games are the passionate ones, that pay dearly for the privilege to support their team, so I have little sympathy for those who think an afternoons entertainment is a once off at an Eagles game.

You will be able to see the Eagles like that when the new stadium opens in 2014 or 2015 or whenever.

Saturday night, the Eagles beat Adeaide, and hopefully can beat Collingwood next Saturday, but there will be passionate supporters on both sides, to whom its more than a game.

Posted by: virgil at May 26, 2008 11:23 AM

Stoic, Oldergent, Marcus, Timewarp. Thanks guys for the info on oil.
It seems that the info about decomposed matter seems to paint the picture of how oil came about.
I know this will sounds gross. But makes me wonder if all those ships sunk out at sea over the thousands of years with all the lost sailors etc could be a starting point for the new beginnings of the oil developing.
I guess if man can invent vats to produce diamonds to be as close as the real deal, then we can only hope that man can do the same for oil.
But then again, maybe its all about the almighty dollar. Producing man made oil, probably wouldnt fetch as much value as it is with the labour of discovering it?
Makes you wonder doesnt it?

Posted by: lonelyheart44 at May 26, 2008 10:40 AM

Over the last few days I have had my focus elsewhere, so tonight started reading the blog from latest to earliest.

Kyllie seems to have taken a lot of attention so I looked at her profile, I suppose I was mostly interested in her comment, that she would have liked to see an Eagles game while they were at their best.

That comment made me think of the Eagles at their inception, when it was fashionable to go to an Eagles game, like the races, where people paid little attention to what was going on, content to drink their chardonnay, and chat, then could say they went to a game.

Thankfully, those days are over, at the moment, and to go to an Eagles game at Subi, you just about need a seasons pass, with most of the ground capacity being pre sold, with about 300 to 500 tickets for sale each game.

Maybe you could go to a WAFL game? Certainly cheaper, but no snob appeal there, bummer.

Posted by: virgil at May 26, 2008 12:01 AM

Hey Virgil,
Perhaps a less black hearted soul would see that comment for what it was. At their peak the crowds would have been at capacity. The atsmosphere would have been electric. Chardonnay makes me puke as do snobs. But people who take effort to carefully peruse someones profile to find something to be mean and vile about really shit me. Having been to many gridirons games and basketball games from my 6 years living in the USA I can say that the most fun for me has been seeing the atmosphere. People watching on a grand scale fascinates me. As does the phenomene of behaviour on blogs.
G'day to you Virgil. Feel free to go take another potshot at something else in my profile.

Posted by: justmekylie at May 26, 2008 9:55 AM

lonelyheart44 at 10:39pm: I get a daily newsletter from USA about the all the energy industries worldwide. A few random points:

1) How oil is made is not known, but like artesian underground water, we are extracting it thousands of times faster than it is being produced. If it's still being produced at all.

Assume it's not - what we've got underground now is all we'll have, to supply us for the next thousand years plus. Without Armageddon.

2) How much of what's there has been discovered yet? Most of it, not counting the deep oceans.

3) What is happening to the demand for oil? On the up, and fast. China and India are building many more factories, needing trucks to cart stuff abound, and their populations are starting to buy cars in big numbers. And air conditioners.

Soon they'll want more oil than the USA. Same with South America, but not as soon.

4) What is happening to oil output? It has been declining for the last ten years. They are not finding new reserves and tapping them, as fast as the output of old wells is tailing off.

Brazil has fairly good untouched stocks, and Saudi Arabia. Other places it's soon going to be injecting steam sideways into underground rocks to extract heavier oil that's mainly bitumen.

5) What are oil-producing countries doing about their share of the take? Till the end of the 1960s, global oil companies could bully third-world countries into letting them pump oil for negligable royalties.

Now the exporting countries are getting a decent slice of the cake. Some, like President Chavez in Venezuela (my No 1 modern world hero) have nationalised their oil industries, and are using the profits to stamp out illiteracy, and give everyone free hospitalisation. The CIA tried to kidnap him a few years ago, but democracy prevailed.

Others like Dubai are squandering their cut on building the highest building in the world for ego's sake, and using vast quantities of oil every year on air-conditioning all the nation's buildings against the desert heat, with little attention to insulation, living underground, etc.

5) The oil companies are already scaling down. For the last 5 years they have been spending less on exploring for oil (nearly all found already, with airborne underground-looking radar) than on buying their shares back from the public, so that when they close down and wind up in 20-50 years, the insiders who still have shares will be very rich.

6) Oil is needed to make plastic, and as oil supplies reduce, less oil will be burned to make heat in car and ship engines and furnaces, and more will be made into plastic for our throwaway society.

I remember in the early 1950s taking my own reusable saucepan to the chinese takeaway to bring home our chicken chop suey in a string bag, while Mum cooked the rice herself.

6) Diesel engines can be adjusted to run on vegetable oil, and cars on alcohol from sugar cane, but rising world populations started this year to need more food than we can grow on existing tilled acreage. World food prices are rocketing this year, and food riots are expected soon in several countries.

So the land that could produce transport fuel will be soon be needed to grow human food, not fuel - and not grain to feed livestock.

It takes 10 tonnes of grain to produce the growth of animals that provide 1 tonne of meat. That's ten acres to feed as many meat-eating people as one acre would feed, if they went vegetarian. Lucky most Indians are still vegetarians.

7) Cars can run on gas, and there's more gas left than oil, but it's mainly being used for room heating in countries like Japan.

8) Petrol will probably be $2 a litre inside 3 months, and $3 a litre some time next year.

9) Petrol/electric hybrid cars are a red herring, like oohlala saying last week that Mr Svengali is Neurotic Earl, not Lurker.

Battery-electric is the go, charged at night when the power-stations have spare capacity. Result? 5% extra unemployment, because that's the number not needed when we change to electric cars that need no servicing, tuning or fuel-outlet servos, and last 20 years with minimal maintenance except changing tyres, brake discs and wiper blades.

10) Get ready to work from home,and get the bus to Coles or the beach.
the remaining few shares will be very rich.

Posted by: timewarp1 at May 26, 2008 4:06 AM

I think the concerns about Obama's safety are very real, and not conspiracy theory stuff. There has been wide comment on it and plenty of parallels drawn with Martin Luther King.
Unusually he has been given a confirmed presidential candidates security watch since he entered the Democratic race.
Hopefully we will see a truly democratic election and the farcical vote rigging disgrace in Florida that gave G W Bush his mandate will not be repeated.
Lonely.
Oil and coal, which are broadly the same thing at different stages, form from the remains of animals, perhaps mostly single celled, and plants, sinking to the bottom of oceans, lakes, swamps and rivers and being covered by sediment over millions of years. The oil we extract is as old as 300 + million years This organic sediment sinks and is gradually taken deeper by movement of the earths crust and resulting pressure and temperature with some complicated chemistry and movement in the rock layers change the matter into oil, gas and bitumen.
It is renewing all the time but it takes 10's or 100's of million years to produce. The bad news is that despite what the oil industry says significant new reserves are getting harder and harder to find even though exploration and extraction technology is improving. Unless the oil and gas is capped by solid rock it will have disappeared ages ago. So you have to drill through big time hard and deep rock to get it. The other serious issue is the amount of energy and C02 released which relates directly to carbon emissions, required for new extraction, makes the environmental aspects of marginal oil, and other hydrocarbons, like frozen hydrides, very dicey. America ran out of oil self sufficiency, ie became a net importer, in about 1970.
There will always be oil and petrol but at a price. I can see the day when it would cost me $500 to fill my car v the $110 or so at the moment.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 26, 2008 1:34 AM

just Kylie at 8.32pm, Not many people would have picked that up. Indeed it was from the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam, a Persian poet of the 12/13 century. Fitzgerald made about 5 versions of it adding and subtracting as his translation skill increased, no later translation came near the first for the beauty of the lyrical prose.

Lonely Heart,
I was taught that it was the residue of the Dinosaur age caused by the almost instant extinction of them, Coal was the vegetable matter carbonised over millenia, you get to see some of the most spectacular fossilised relics in the coal mines, I have seen one piece of a fern leaf that was 10 feet across to the stem, a 20ft fern leaf. Unfortunately once it is gone there will be no production of them again, it took countless millions of years to produce, the earth has not the resourses left in the scale required..

Perth,
you are right about the supermarkets, I witnessed one case of the dishonesty of the big ones, at the shopping centre at a major city I seen the staff stacking the produce that was within a day of the expiry in boxes, nothing wrong with that till one of them ripped the top off the box and wrote KK on it and placed it on the pallet. The next morning I happened to be shopping in the low end offspring of the giant and lo there was the pallet with the KK sign on it, and to rub salt in to the wound it had gone up in price in the overnight repackaging and rebranding, so if your lucky enough to have a farmers market go for it.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 26, 2008 12:14 AM

Over the last few days I have had my focus elsewhere, so tonight started reading the blog from latest to earliest.

Kyllie seems to have taken a lot of attention so I looked at her profile, I suppose I was mostly interested in her comment, that she would have liked to see an Eagles game while they were at their best.

That comment made me think of the Eagles at their inception, when it was fashionable to go to an Eagles game, like the races, where people paid little attention to what was going on, content to drink their chardonnay, and chat, then could say they went to a game.

Thankfully, those days are over, at the moment, and to go to an Eagles game at Subi, you just about need a seasons pass, with most of the ground capacity being pre sold, with about 300 to 500 tickets for sale each game.

Maybe you could go to a WAFL game? Certainly cheaper, but no snob appeal there, bummer.

Posted by: virgil at May 26, 2008 12:01 AM

No I haven't Perth. I don't get out to Subi much any more.

When in a hurry I will just grab the stuff from Woolies or wherever but usually I will stop past a dedicated fruit and veg store - for the reasons you cite.

Posted by: stoic at May 25, 2008 11:12 PM

Lonelyheart - The short answer of where oil comes from is:

Oil and gas were formed by the anaerobic decay of organic material in conditions of increased temperature and pressure.

Also copied straight from a website:

Oil has formed throughout much of the Earth's history, in fact, oil is being formed in some parts of the Earth today. Almost all oil and gas comes from tiny decayed plants, algae, and bacteria. At certain times in the Earth's history conditions for oil formation have been particularly favourable. Oil from the North Sea is mainly found in rocks that formed during the Jurassic period - about 150 million years ago, long before people appeared on Earth.

During this time the seas and swampy areas were rich in microscopic plants and animals.

When these died they slowly sank to the bottom forming thick layers of organic material. This in turn became covered in layers of mud that trapped the organic material.

Posted by: stoic at May 25, 2008 11:06 PM

Hi Stoic, Do you ever go to Subi market on the weekend. We go every weekend and stock up on fresh produce. We have beautiful plums and watermelon, really good veges and about half the price of the supermarkets. The service thru the checkout is very efficient quick. We also get goods from Angry Almond and they are just the best, again great service, really good prices. I think people should start making a stand against the majors and not accepting the rubbish and the ridiculous prices they charge.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 25, 2008 10:41 PM

Could someone give us a bit of info about the earths production of oil.
Maybe you could answer this one Marcus?
Sooooo within the earth, oil has been produced, but how is it made by the earth, and how long did it take to build up in pockets?
Also if we are getting low in certain parts within the earth for oil, would the earth produce it again, and is it an ongoing part of the earths creation?

Posted by: lonelyheart44 at May 25, 2008 10:39 PM

Funny that, Perth. My intuition tells me the same thing after I've had a few :)

Posted by: stoic at May 25, 2008 10:31 PM

Cooked some squid with chilli and sugar snap peas for dinner tonight, couple of glasses of wine to go with and my intuition tells me I feel pretty good. I have an early start in the morning 6a.m. so want to get to sleep fairly early otherwise I feel like crashing about 2 o-clock. Went to the markets this morning and bought lots of lovely fresh fruit and veges. What an incredible difference in price and quality from the supermarkets. I think everyone should boycott the supermarkets and make them life their game with fresh produce.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 25, 2008 10:15 PM

And as for oil. We have been told we are running out of oil for the past 30 years and we still have billions of barrels left in the ground. We are not running out any time soon. The Chinese National Offshore Oil Company alone has tens of billions of dollars invested in offshore exploration - and that is just off our coast. We have not even begun to tap true deep sea reserves. Most drilling is still done on continental shelves because it is not economically viable to go deeper yet.

As the more shallow fields become depleted and the price of oil increases, it may become worth the cost to go deeper. At the same time, alternatives will become more viable as well (and it will be the oil companies who develop and promote these alternatives).

If you want that to happen sooner rather than later, start using more oil now.

Posted by: stoic at May 25, 2008 9:44 PM

Marcus.....can you help me out and write something I might be able to understand/make sense of??? Baffling with bulls**t is boring now......
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 25, 2008 9:33 PM

There are no good candidates for the US this election. McCain is the least bad of the three bad candidates that have a chance of winning.

Obama is running on the Cult of Personality. Empty rhetoric with no substance - especially on the economy and with an out of control debt nearing some 10 trillion dollars, fiscal responsibility is needed above all else.

And sorry to disappoint all the ghouls desperate for Obama to be assassinated so they can say "See? Americans are racist", the only talk about his assassination is coming from his own supporters about how he is going to be assassinated.

Nobody else is saying anything like that. You want assassination talk, go look at websites like Daily Kos and The Huffington Post. All the assassination talk is directed towards Bush. Bush has survived incoherent levels of hatred, Obama will survive those who didn't vote for him. Except for maybe one....

Witnessing what has gone on this election period, I think Clinton is an absolutely reprehensible character who must be using every ounce off her strength to refrain from shouting on national television "How DARE that uppity nigger try to usurp MY rightful place as President" - especially after she "graciously" offered Obama the VP spot when he was way out in front in the primaries. What's the matter, Clinton? Afraid that Obama is going to show minorities that they don't need to be indebted to and don't need your charity to be successful?

I have lost count of the number of campaign staff that have been fired after some shady and underhanded attack on Obama has been traced back to the Clinton campaign - and who will no doubt continue to be fired after future attacks on Obama fail.

McCain has had to endure attacks from within his own party - the worst being Huckabee and his trying to paint McCain as fiscally irresponsible for having the sense to vote against the tax cuts since they didn't come with corresponding spending cuts, thereby not exacerbating the debt problem. McCain seemingly being the only candidate that gets this (apart from maybe Ron Paul, but with his disconcertingly poor renouncement of various Neo-Nazi groups his campaign support and his newsletters have been linked to, he is not worth considering)

Posted by: stoic at May 25, 2008 9:28 PM

Might set your red flags but the point of this discussion was that it didnt set any red flags for me. It should have and I was naive and foolish. No where have I denied that.

That poem is good advice. Although technically that was Fitgeralds paraphrase of OK circa 1800's from I can gather. Learn something new everyday.

Posted by: justmekylie at May 25, 2008 8:32 PM

Hi Marcus - I think the 'Dream team ticket' will get up, McCain has been largely marginalised (by a woman and a Black who would have thunk it?).

I agree about climate change, I believe that oil barrel prices will drive the environmental issues far further and quicker than has been previously attempted. That may be overdue economics rather than any philosophical or ecopractical imperative though.

As a migrant I find it utterly criminal that solar heating isn't mandated in Australia - sure it might be a struggle in the UK or Iceland (mind you they have that whole geothermic thing happening), and the UK weaned itself off coal and fuel oil with the strikes. What is the excuse here? And don't start me on water issues...

Scorpios - hmmm - interesting, also massive sceptics apparently... BTW it is Librans that I never get to meet, very photo judgemental... Give me the wicked Fire signs and interesting Air signs anytime (excepting Librans). Keep the Earth signs only as friends they like hearth and home way too much; Water signs I just can't decide about... some are very steamy some are just exhaustingly damp... Sorry is this all too mystical?
I was just throwing in some intuition.

Posted by: firelightlady at May 25, 2008 7:57 PM

The 'right' to freedom of expression? To seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media?
There are a lot of caveats on that right.
Vilification laws abound.
Another interesting curb on free speech and artisitic expression is being exercised by the NSW police's confiscation of work and the charging of artist Bill Henson over the photo exhibition of the pubescent girl.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 25, 2008 7:56 PM

Firelady, I have a post already lodged in answer to Marcus on the american way, but I bow to your more insightful post. I have never read that piece before but it sure resonates with me.
Thank you.
OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 25, 2008 7:54 PM

Thanks firelightlady and BM1960....from my few weeks on here, what you have said really resonates (unfortunately)!!

Please feel free to check out my profile, I've been very careful to not mention anything suggestive or "physical". I am very interested in someone who is interested in both my mind and personality and vice versa. I'm a bit afraid that my outward appearance could initally attract the opposite...

They would soon find out otherwise! LOL

Cheers, Helen

Posted by: symbiosis66 at May 25, 2008 7:53 PM

Come on Firelady, ole seegar smokin Bill is going to be hanging around yo all.

Marcus in your dreams,you really expect who ever wins is going to have the money to fight the election, and that is what wins over there, also it is a big big ask for the yanks to change their ways, all that will happen when the rest of the worlds oil runs out is that they will uncap their wells for domestic use only.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 25, 2008 7:47 PM

Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.

Article 19 Universal declaration of Human Rights.

This would include freedom to say enough is enough!

OG - for a mutual friend;

They read good books, and quote, but never learn
A language other than the scream of rocket-burn.
Our straighter talk is drowned but ironclad:
Elections, money, empire, oil and Dad.

Circa 1980 Andrew Motion

Posted by: firelightlady at May 25, 2008 7:39 PM

Now come on are you really that blinkered to think it would have been better for me to have said nothing.
Posted by: justmekylie at May 25, 2008 10:47 AM

Seems you are the blinkered one - who got played for 6 years ??

Personally if I have a friend who never calls me from his home phone and never invites me to his house, well that would just set all the red flags waving, and it sure as heck wouldn't take me six years to figure it out.

Posted by: jenjen57 at May 25, 2008 7:21 PM

I would add that those who state they don't like drawn out emails and phone chats are probably only interested in meeting face to face to check out if there is a physical attraction.....your personality means nothing to them...be wary.
Weird....firelightlady....the comment about Scorpions...the only people I usually don't get on with are are just that....no scientific reason, but true.....
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 25, 2008 7:20 PM

Seems quite likely that both the Democrat candidates could neutralise each other and give the presidency to John McCain.
Obama is an impressive performer as far as machine politics goes but lightly credentialled policy wise. He also runs a high risk of being assasinated. Perhaps this is why Hillary is posturing to be VP?
Whoever wins has to start the generational change that will wean the US from it's 'oil addiction' and send the correct leadership message to others, including Australia on this. Reducing the rate of increase of demand for non renewable fuels is a key to many aspects of global security.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 25, 2008 7:16 PM

Firelady,
one for Kylie,
The moving finger writes and having written written moves on to write some more
nor all your piety or wit can lure it back
nor all your tears wash out half a line of it.
O K circa 1200 ad
Kylie it has happend you have been hung out to dry so put it down to experience, move on.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 25, 2008 7:05 PM

I participate in a messageboard for a rock band..The same thing happens there...off topic comments etc....but the best of it is that the off topic comments happen in a special forum that is called 'Non-Quo' Chat.....maybe RSVP could instigate a topic about whatever..(or as Seinfeld would say...about nothing...)....
If I could get into the blog about ideas for new topics, I would suggest this!!!
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 25, 2008 7:01 PM

Symbiosis
List 1 - Things I have observed that set my radar pinging;
- Someone who perpetually txts rather than phones, yes it is there for messaging that's not my point; those who only txt because they are afraid of being overheard.

- Someone who only talks to you in daylight hours and mainly during the week - either a vampire hunter (could be interesting) or there is someone at home, lkie a wife, or de facto.

- Anyone with a phone number embedded in their profile. They might also send you kisses however they will have their number on various different sites and won't have a clue who you are - it is the allsitescattergun approach. Be careful they may be expecting the Dominatrixy or MistressWhippy from Adultfriendfinder (no I am not on there, & I made the names up - lol)

- Profiles that are written totally in rhyme or only in capitals; copper bottomed guarantee of an oddball in my experience.

- A personal profile with very limited personal information in the personal profile section i.e. height, build, children, status, star sign (missing zodiac signs - they are usually Scorpios - just an observation), Why be so cagey about how tall you are or what you do?

- Someone whose profile includes the word Bitch out of context e.g. I own an German Shepherd bitch is fine, my ex is a total bitch is not! She may be, he isn't dealing with it.

- Short about myself sections are not a bad thing some times writing about oneself isn't easy, the short ones often have more photos.

Good luck, those of some of mine ; - ))

WB - My intuition tells me that either of the putative presidential winners is going to be a big shake up for the ole US of A, and that the White House staffers will be safe working after hours with Hillary...

Posted by: firelightlady at May 25, 2008 6:53 PM

How would you link the American election to intuition, Firelight?

Posted by: waterbombe at May 25, 2008 6:05 PM

Yay! the American election and it's dearth so far of the usual middle-aged white males...tho at this stage I (personally) believe anyone would be better than finger over the red button Bush.

Back on intuition....this is mostly directed at the other women: I think my intuition is *pretty good*, but being new on here, I'm concerned about what signs I should be aware of when meeting a man for the first time? Have I missed anything other than shifty body language? Or saying contradictory things? Being evasive about "difficult" questions�.. Any hints please for myself and other women who may read this blog? I really think this is an issue for women who are new to this.

Cheers, Symbiosis

Posted by: symbiosis66 at May 25, 2008 5:45 PM

Except firelightlady that would be against the posting rules...ie off topic.

Posted by: justmekylie at May 25, 2008 5:41 PM

This was a simple excursion into the life of blogging and making a comment about how sucky my intuition was and for so long. It has turned into some feeling the need to defame and flame and stir the pot. People asked, people accused, I simply and assertively stood my ground and responded to the accusations.

And SYmbiosis, yes this is exactly what this forum is for, to discuss and put forward oppinions. I am a newbie. I made a comment. It was others that made it into a gripe/obsession. I merely repsonded to the comments.

And I would be very careful perth of accusing others of lies. Interesting legal cases out there in the real world delving into this very thing.

Posted by: justmekylie at May 25, 2008 5:39 PM

Thank you Symbiosis.
Move on and drop it WB.

Six months or six years - It's a blog, not a support group. If it was six months it wouldn't get this much blog time!

Hey what about that American election - now there's something worth talking about. lol

Posted by: firelightlady at May 25, 2008 5:26 PM

Personally, I can't figure this one out, Kylie. This guy sounds like a whacko...he sounds really twisted in some ways. I feel sorry for his wife. But on the other hand, as far as you are concerned, 6 years is a very long time to be constantly duped...if this had happpened in 6 months I think people's reactions to you would have been far more sympathetic. I think it's probably too difficult on a blog to convey all the detail you need to convey in order to be understood .

Posted by: waterbombe at May 25, 2008 5:04 PM

Kylie, yes that is true and I haven't been for a few days....

I also think that what istj54 at May 25, 2008 3:50 PM wrote is very true, especially the last para.

Maybe I'm wrong, but isn't this forum for anyone who wishes to put forward an opinion or tell of their experiences for the betterment/entertainment of all? Isn't it off-putting, especially for newbies, if a topic is hijacked by a personal gripe/obsession that sounds very suitable for a one-on-one with a psychologist.

Just something to think about....

Cheers, Symbiosis

Posted by: symbiosis66 at May 25, 2008 5:01 PM

I intuit that this blog is spending way way to much time on Justmekylie and her various, supporters, detractors and it's sad, and a little boring - I for one have had enough - NEXT!

Marcus must have some anti-intuition rant or did I miss it?

Tryohboy fantasies or swinging doors perhaps?

Timewarp some poetry, even bad poetry?

OG an old expression we haven't heard or how intuition improves as eyesight diminishes???

Even some contentious groinfruit remark - lol! Moving on...

Posted by: firelightlady at May 25, 2008 4:58 PM

Kylie, Don't you get it, it's none of your business, leave the poor wife alone to sort out her own life. It's none of your business stop making trouble !!! Get a life, stop telling lies!!!!

Posted by: iaminperth at May 25, 2008 4:49 PM

I do think a lot before making any comments and I think the wife may have been right when she thought there was a nutter on the phone because there apparently was. You need to leave this alone and get on with your life, I would say you have done a lot of damage this far.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 25, 2008 4:47 PM

symbiosis, you always have the choice of not reading. Oui?

Posted by: justmekylie at May 25, 2008 4:40 PM

iaminperth...i truly hope she doesnt ignore everything I said and still think there is a nutter out there stalking her husband. You dont think too much before you make comments do you.

Posted by: justmekylie at May 25, 2008 4:10 PM

Posted by: istj54 at May 25, 2008 3:50 PM

Most sensible comment I have heard.

Yes my intuition sucked in this instance. Fully admitted owned up to etc. Perhaps my mistake was to say I told the wife about it.
Yes I know now I was just a sounding board for his sick fantasies. Still dont believe I was way out of line in telling his wife.

Posted by: justmekylie at May 25, 2008 4:06 PM

I think this topic should be renamed:

Kylie...how good is her sob story of *friendship* gone wrong?

This is getting a bit tedious, non?

Posted by: symbiosis66 at May 25, 2008 3:57 PM

Kylie...my intuition tells me that yours was way wrong here about your friend, and way out of line...it was never for you to tell his wife that he had a friend without benefits on the side...from his point of view you were just a sounding board for his sick fantasies to play out, not a friend...heartbreaking, but true...his wife most likely already knew he was deficient in many areas and chose to be with him anyways...lots of wives do, you know?
You need to move on and forget about what he has done with you...and he has obviously played around with your head for six long years...he sounds like one sick puppy...you may well need some guidance to move past this...but telling his wife was not it.

Posted by: istj54 at May 25, 2008 3:50 PM

Perth...you have such a way of twisting things, its fascinating. Are you e ven capable of reading and actually comprehending what is said without putting your own bias to it.

No actually waterlilly....go back reread and see where i clearly stated he was making out I was a psycho on the other end of the line. Who the frig do you think his audience was. Its not rocket science you know. I would have assumed that his little act would have told even the simplest mind that there was someone he needed to do his little bullshit performance for.

And calling this whining is just to detract from the fact you cant read nor admit error.

Posted by: justmekylie at May 25, 2008 3:44 PM

So Kylie you only told the wife or ex wife to stop her thinking there was a nutter on the phone calling her husband. Let's hope she still thinks there was just a nutter on the phone and ignored everything you said. I think you should stop now as the story is getting worse by the second with more twists and turns than a badly written soap opera. It seems to me you live in a world of make believe and drama and I would suggest you move out of it very quickly or you could do a lot of damage to yourself and anyone around you.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 25, 2008 1:49 PM

NOW lay off and realise none of you have enough facts to make a judgement either way. Posted by: justmekylie at May 24, 2008 10:12 PM

Kylie, we were 'speaking' on the 'facts' as you, yourself, presented them. If you don't care for our opinions, then perhaps you should cease whining away here on the blogs.

Posted by: waterlily58 at May 25, 2008 12:19 PM

Posted by: iaminperth at May 24, 2008 8:15 PM

Well said!

Is going to the wife a way of hurting someone else as much as you have already hurt yourself?

Posted by: waterlily58 at May 25, 2008 12:12 PM

Oh and iaminperth just in case you havent been able to comprehend what I have just written, it was exactly becuase his wife was an innocent party that I called.

Posted by: justmekylie at May 25, 2008 11:35 AM

Perhaps JenJen you overlooked the fact that when I called his house to talk to him initially, his wife (unknown to even exist) was within hearing distance and listening to his end of the conversation which sounded as if he was dealing with a threatening and psychotic obsessive stalker. Now how reassuring do you think it would be to think there was that sort of person harrassing you and your husband. Which is worse...an obsessive stalker or a unknown friend.
I told her we were friends and had been for 6 years. I told her how we met and the level of our contact. I also told her I had no idea he was married and I told her the stories he had told me about his personel life. I reassured her I was not a psycho who was going to make their life hell. That I am a very ordinary person who thought she had a good friend.
I could not sit back and allow another woman to be lied to and filled full of bullshit. And the evidence suggests he has done this before. Which is better for her. Knwoing the truth or the bullshit and scary story he tried to make out.
Can you imagine what it must be like to think your husband has an obsessed stalker after him, every phone call, every knock on the door, even going outside to check the mail would be something to be worried about.

And I know I wasnt the other woman........but he had an emotional attachment to me that stole from his marriage. WHile he was chatting and sweet talking me where do you think his wife was?
Now come on are you really that blinkered to think it would have been better for me to have said nothing.

Its a very common phenomena that people often shoot the messenger.

Posted by: justmekylie at May 25, 2008 10:47 AM

MWAH, I love you too Marcus xo

Posted by: lonelyheart44 at May 25, 2008 8:52 AM

He told me heaps of personel stuff,. Exceptionally personel stuff. He sent me very personel photos if you know what I mean. Trouble was it was all made up. And didnt leave any trace of a wife and kids in there anywhere. He was a 46 yr old divorced man who had been sexually abused by his first wife, he had rectal cancer, he deeply wanted to be a father but realised he never would be, he was too scarred and damaged to ever be in a relationship, the older he got the less he missed sex and was just content not to be sworn at, have frying pans whack him upside the head in his sleep, and a myriad of other things. My frinedship in his words was the only place in his life where he didnt feel abused, ridiculed, bullied, etc etc etc. He was a self confessed workaholic who often pulled all nighters to meet deadlines. He had no life other than work and my friendship. Should I keep going? We exchanged emails daily, some times up to 20 in a day. Every hour of the day or night. As well as coffees on occasions and sms and phone calls.

The call was not over jealousy. It was not to destroy him or her. If I really wanted to destroy him I have ample evidence to ruin his career based on his disloyal and libelous emails about his superiors.
All I can say is there was overwhelming evidence he has done this whole secret emotional affair bullshit before.

NOW lay off and realise none of you have enough facts to make a judgement either way.

Posted by: justmekylie at May 24, 2008 10:12 PM

Kylie of course married men should not invite emotional devastation into the marriage. But in this case, he avoided sleeping with you and from what you have said it seems he was determined to keep things on a friends only basis.

That being the case, why on earth would yopu deliberately upset his wife, a completely innocent third party, by calling her and telling her about your friendship with her husband. If a woman I didnt know valled me to tell me she was a friend of my husbands and not being honest with me or her, I wopuld be very distressed and wonder if there was more than "just friends" going on. For whatever reason, he preferred to keep his friendship with you separate from his home life, but not because you were "the other woman".

We are all entitled to have friendships with other people of both sexes and not all these friendships are close social ones involving our families. I honestly cannot understand why you did what you did.

Posted by: jenjen57 at May 24, 2008 9:55 PM

You're not reading what I said, I have no sympathy for either of the cheating people, this is not about sympathy. My question was what gives a girlfriend the right to take the details of the sordid affair to the man's wife.
The wife is the innocent party....why don't you get that ? The comments can be linked to the profile easily, mine is displayed and you have had a look quite often Kylie so don't know what you are talking about there either.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 24, 2008 9:39 PM

Well fair enough Perth, but would you say the same thing about the married bloke? He has done that too...stolen from the marriage. Each is as culpable as the other I think. I was divorced when I was 35 and I have lost count of the number of married men who propositioned me...I think there would have been enough to sink an ocean liner though...some were fathers of kids in my children's classes at school...quelle horreur...apparently about 70% of Australian men are unfaithful....makes you think, doesn't it. Lots of this kind of thing goes on.

Oh no, now we'll have Marcus back saying I told you so and the TAFEs ought to run Be-Prepared courses for us all like the Scouts do. Ok, I'll face reality but lets make it a dual qualification...Cert IV in Being Prepared for Infidelity and Paternity Fraud. Or the unis could offer Bachelors degrees - a B. BPFI. and B. FOYANRD (Finding Out You Are Not Really Daddy). The unis like those longer degree names.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 24, 2008 9:23 PM

Only thing you are neglecting iaminperth is to mention the husband. Perhaps your wrath would be better placed on why married men feel it ok to invite this kind of emotional and financial devastation into the marriage in the first place. I have sympathy for the wives and those women who did not know they were indeed the 'other woman'. For those who did know and yet still engage....no sympathy whatsoever. I believe what goes around comes around.

You know what would be a good idea...a link on each profile "Read this persons blog comments".

Kind of interesting to see how the profile matches up with behaviour displayed on here.

Posted by: justmekylie at May 24, 2008 9:19 PM

But Kylie, you were not this blokes girlfriend, you were was just a friend...I have just read thru all the posts and I still don't get why Kylie would call up the wife???

You have stated that you are just friends!!!

That is a really cruel thing to do...as you were only aquaintainces, no social events, no trips away, no common friends outside work, only chatting and coffee from the sounds of it, while at work or during work hours.

Kylie, You have opened a can of worms in that other family, and you had no right to do that. Soo cruel when there is really no basis.
You said that in the beginning there was a bit more but no sex.....obviously he stopped going further for a reason, he realised he was making a mistake and just remained friends.

I have a couple of male friends, who are also across my dating, life and stuff, we do coffee and lunches, sometimes drinks. They give me a male perspective on men issues, plus we talk work as we are in the same industry.
I do not call them on home phones, only on work mobiles during business hours, and never on weekends. I am sure they don't tell thier wives about me and my stuff ...as I am just a friend...nothing more!!!

I don't blame him for changing his number, you are destroying his home life and for what...you are not a girlfriend, mistress or lover...just a friend...and a true friend would not do what you did. If he never told you personal stuff, about the wife and kids, that shows you that he was not a true friend, but no need to possibly destroy his life, his wife and children, because of your jealousy!!!

I don't often agree with laughandtalks but I do this time......jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at May 24, 2008 9:14 PM

Ha ha Marcus...pretty story....great imagination...or are you describing your fears?

Posted by: waterbombe at May 24, 2008 8:31 PM

What I find terribly disturbing when hearing affairs with married men is that the girlfriend feels the need to confront or tell the wife. I cannot imagine how that would feel to be told that way and what right has the girlfriend to terrify and devastate another human being that way. The girlfriend is an extra in my opinion, she is stealing from the marriage, stealing emotion, affection, time and indeed finances from someone elses marriage. What is it in their heads that make this so right. and what right do they then have to devastate another human being with their foul behaviour. I have absolutely no sympathy, they know what they are doing, they're not that stupid and then try to justidy their mean spirited deceitful nature to garner sympathy.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 24, 2008 8:15 PM

Try harder Marcus.

Posted by: justmekylie at May 24, 2008 8:14 PM

Where do some of these people get off indeed?
There is one bottom feeding olde catfishe of the blogge who can swallow a man in a single mouthful, spit out his testicles and then, tentacles a wriggling, detect a female slighted then offer critiscism, opinion or advice through 3 metres of muddy water. Best to completely ignore it.

The Kylie phenomenon. Surely enough blogging ink has been wasted on this dubiously credentialled attention seekers stunts? I quote from her profile: "Fun and down to earth lady with a great sense of humour and not anybodies fool". Nobodies fool? and she appears here looking for sympathy over a 6 year fantasy romance. Now getting fussed over because of claims about poor me with dyslexic kids.
Come on.
Cop u later Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 24, 2008 7:38 PM

Well if he was bald, BM, he probably had "hair issues" with a woman who could grow it on her face before she was 40! I mean, he can't even grow it on his head!!! I'm joking but honestly, where do some of these people get off? Best to completely ignore them (as I'm sure you did).

Posted by: waterbombe at May 24, 2008 5:54 PM

I read a profile a while ago where he stated he didn't want to hear from anyone over 40 and if they had any facial hair appearing before 40, don't contact either....He must be absolutely perfect eh?? I noticed recently he had removed that absurd comment from his profile....
I only looked at him cos he was an attractive looking bald male....seems he expects the same from his women!!!!
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 24, 2008 4:33 PM

Yes OG,
You are right. That is a nice way of looking at it. I guess we are all guilty of making assumptions about someone based on their looks.
I know, I find blokes who look a bit "rough around the edges" a bit scary, so I would never think of sending them a kiss, even thought I personally know blokes who look similar, whom I know to be really nice people.
I also find it quite amusing to read profiles that say "I don't judge a book by its cover" or similar, but then have a huge list of criteria in their ideal partner profile!
Criteria such as size in particular (some people even stipulate height as well as body size!), eye and hair colour, star sign, type of employment, even nationality!
I now look at the person's "wish list" first before I even bother reading their profile.
If I know I am nothing like their "wish list", it's a waste of time isn't it?

I also love the ones who list age between 18-100. I would imagine at 45-50 you are not looking for a 100 year old, so maybe an 18 yo is closer?
And the 50+ year olds who list their preferred age between 35-55, but are undecided whether they want more children. Well I haven't heard of too many 45+ year old women getting pregnant, so why don't they just say they want a 35 yo?

It all seems a bit too hard, sometimes!

Troy,
Your jibe didn't appear to be all that light-hearted to me, a bit of a sarcastic "put-down" actually.
Still if you say you were being jovial, then I can only believe you.
Thanks Troy, I am having a good day! Have been watching my kids play sport.

Posted by: amberlight58 at May 24, 2008 4:18 PM

Amber @ 12.28. I made a post a long time ago that there is no such thing as an ugly person, the trouble is that no one seems to spend enough time looking for something beautiful in that person, when they do find something in the whole "package" they can then overlook the other things, usually physical and let them pale into insignificance.

Posted by: oldergent at May 24, 2008 2:13 PM

Amber, you know very well I make my profile visible from time to time in order to counter the standard, "no visible profile ipso facto bottom feeder". Greg may choose to have his visible for blogging, good on him, however I have found one still receives lots of contact which I choose not to have.
I am certainly no 'flash model' myself and was having a lighthearted jibe in relation to your little analogy. I assure you I have an unpretentious sense of humour most especially in comparison to the coterie.
Have a nice day amber.

Troy

Posted by: troyohboy at May 24, 2008 1:34 PM

amberlight58; I dont disagree with you in regards to Gregos wording, it was quite cumbersome.
But if we just took his wording as a tactless expression then the same point he was meant to be getting across would not have been as offensive as some would have felt.
To highlight the positve point of the argument was really better than the wording.

justmekylie: If you had told a little more detail in your first post then no one would have questioned you as they did.
Sometimes clarity is the key to a positve response.
If you had given a little more detail of your story, the facts without the affect then your post could have been lengthy enough but compact enough to tell the full story.
No one normal would ever want to inflict any grief on a victim.
Your story now gives more reason to understand your delima. Especially for how difficult it would be having the quality time to get to date a guy with meaningful time to get to know them better.
I feel sorry for the way things are for you and can only wish that things will get better for you.
However your first post striked a nerve with me because of the lack of detail, and all I could see was the wife being the victim.
IBut the biggest thing you need to change is not to allow someone into your life, your time only. A good guy will let you into his life without hestitation, but if he doesnt, then give him a quick flick.
Dont let guys control you. Let them know by your actions that your the one doing the choosing, and not them.
Good luck with your search, a good compassionate guy is out there somewhere waiting for you to choose him.

Posted by: lonelyheart44 at May 24, 2008 1:32 PM

Posted by: lonelyheart44 at May 23, 2008 10:51 AM

You are right, lonelyheart, what you are looking for is what the majority of us are looking for. Acceptance and love.
Grego may say he didn't mean to sound partronising and insulting about women who are older, but he did.
Istj pointed out the words he used, and his actual use of the words "these units" when referring to women over fifty and his repeating the old misogynistic saying about stoking the fire while not looking at the mantelpiece, referring to having sex with a less than attractive woman, were not exactly dripping with his supposed 'nice guy' persona.
He may have found the most "beautiful woman in the world" who is 55, but I bet he didn't use those types of comments to woo her!
Troy,
Thanks for your thoughts. You can probably see my "soggy suspension" so you feel confident in giving such sage advice.
Unfortunately, I can't see if you're an old Commodore or a nice new Lamborghini, but it does appear as if it's not just the "coterie" of women who don't have any sense of humour!

Posted by: amberlight58 at May 24, 2008 12:28 PM

My children hav severe phonological dyslexia and have been recieving specialised literacy training from a speech pathologist for the last 2 years and are under the care of the leading expert for literacy here in WA. THey recieve small group sessions specifically for literacy in school for 2 hours every day. Had to take them to a private school for that cos the public ed system refused to believe anything was wrong with them other than bad parenting.They simply wouldnt believe the behaviours being displayed were only evident at school . I get people coming up to me while we're out congratulating me on having such beautifully behaved boys. Of course we all know that if they acknowledge a disability they are bound by legislation to provide equal access to the curriculum. I believe the Irlen method has no benefit for kids with phonological dyslexia. BUt thankyou firelightlady.

Thankyou too BM1960. Yes I know how I got into this situation and believe me I will never again be so foolish. I will be wise and guard my heart.

Posted by: justmekylie at May 24, 2008 9:57 AM

Justmekylie - my two kids (also myself, brother and 5/6 nephews) all have moderate to severe dyslexia in its various forms
.
If you haven't tried it the Irlen colour system can be great, and also UQ now have a program available for catching up with learning issues etc. It targets early diagnosis and asistance but also addresses older children ie 14+ who have slipped through the net. The Irlen colour system can be used at any age and I think originated in WA.
Good luck : -)

Ironically enough Dyslexia did not 'exist' in Queensland it wasn't recognised as a learning challenge at all!

Posted by: firelightlady at May 24, 2008 8:20 AM

Kylie, you have your hands full...and I can understand, to a degree, how you found yourself in that situation. I truly feel for you. I hope you pick yourself up, move on and embrace a positive attitude which will hopefully attract a like-minded person and you will find happiness. First step is to forget this whole shenanigans and speak, or think, no more about it...my opinion.
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 23, 2008 9:10 PM

Here's a thought.......................

if your intuition is wrong and you have been fooled and humiliated................then I hope you believe in kharma, and that he/she gets his/hers

Posted by: twoeyes at May 23, 2008 8:57 PM

Justmekylie - I believe I am in a similar position as your 'friend'. I have an answering service for professionals out of hours, and a home number for on call, as well as a paging service, work Blackberry and personal mobile - my kids will answer any of my phones if I am on call and are quite adept at relaying accurate information and have been for years. Boyfriends are a different matter as seduction can be a job of work with on-call, sometimes best not to go there... "yes I just have to get this now"..."I will be back in an hour can you wait?"..."Take a nap? Enjoy the quiet...")
In health one is always available, you KNOW that.

Never been to his house? Never met his friends? Or family?
Never really assessed the situation is what I am thinking... Six years ? NEXT!

Of course the problem I get is that I am too involved with work, have to leave events in an unplanned fashion, and like sex at the wrong times of day - why does it have to be dark? What is wrong with lunchtime if I suspect I won't be around most of the night? lol
Move on already, your intuition needs a workout!

Posted by: firelightlady at May 23, 2008 7:57 PM

Kylie, it sounds more like this guy was an 'aquaintance' - someone you ran across on a regular basis, because you perchance worked in the same complex and similar industry. As a consequence, or convenience, good manners, or seeking companionship, you have spent some time together on a regular basis, scoffing sandwiches and swapping mundanities about work and the world in general.

It does not appear that the hand of intimate, life long friendship was ever extended - you have not been invited to his home, into his social circle or at the very least been informed about his family and personal life. On this basis, in my opinion, this man offered you no more than 'aquaintance' or 'associate' access to his life.

Many, many people do this - workmates in the same building, comuters on the same train or bus, people who walk their dogs at the same time in the same place - and they cross paths regularly, smile nicely, chat inconsequentially and move on.

I can't see why you feel that you have been betrayed by this person. I come across lots of people every day, who know nothing at all about my personal life, and I want to keep it that way.

I would feel violated if anyone of my regular aquaintances chose to cross those aquaintance boundaries and intrude upon my personal life by contacting my family. I don't know what you hoped to achieve by ringing his wife.

Posted by: waterlily58 at May 23, 2008 7:55 PM

And yes I felt extremely betrayed. Mostly foolish.

Posted by: justmekylie at May 23, 2008 7:03 PM

Our friends circle do not cross paths.
I am not a doctor. My profession has little to do with the health department. I work with people in the community with acquired brain injuries. My dealings are with the Insurance commission. We have no work colleagues in common at all. He is upper echelon executive and I am a coal face hands on therapist.
I did not know or have any clue that he was married. Let alone in a relationship. And I would never mess with someone already attached as I have been the wife on the recieving end of just such a phone call.
WHy do you find it so hard to believe........you seem a bit defensive about insisting I must have been the 'scarlet' woman and known all along. All I can say is your intuition sucks cos you couldnt be further from the truth.

If I put every fact in the post it would be 5 pages long and people dont read those. I stated my intuition sucked, which was the relevant statement to make at the time. People jumped all over me so I explained further. And no I didnt do a lot of guessing. I asked loads of questions and got an elaborate web of made up tales and lies in return. THings that didnt gel were questioned, he had reasonable and beleivable answers for most things.

Yes AuntyKaz he played me for a fiddle.
No I have never been to his house. And no I didnt think anything odd about that. I am a single mum of 3 boys, 2 with severe dyslexia and no I dont get every second weekend free when they go to their dads.They dont go to their dads. I run my own practice. My me time is very far and inbetween. When I have it I go out. I have many friends that I havent been to their house.

Posted by: justmekylie at May 23, 2008 6:59 PM

So, let me get this straight...
Kylie, you had a friendship with a guy for 6 years and didn't know he was married.
When you found out he was married you told his wife that you existed.
As a friend.
Did you feel betrayed that your friend hadn't told his wife that you were a friend ?
Were you expecting more from your friendship with him after 6 years?.

You had never been to his house in all that time, despite saying that you were close??

Either he has played you like a fiddle, Kylie, or something is rotten in Denmark methinks..................K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 23, 2008 6:46 PM

Posted by: justmekylie at May 23, 2008 4:52 PM

This guy brings a new meaning to the terms cheating and dishonesty. It appears he has done it with other people as well as Kylie. I feel sorry for his wife though. greg

Posted by: grego7 at May 23, 2008 5:58 PM

Gosh justmekylie, wouldnt it be better that you put all the fact in your first post in the first place and let us know all the facts.
Maybe this is an example of your own situation with this guy. You accept little facts for yourself and expect everyone else to do the same?
However, no one likes to be left guessing. Seems like you MUST of done a lot of that?

Posted by: lonelyheart44 at May 23, 2008 5:36 PM

Come on Kylie, give us a break, of course you knew he was a married man, you just became obsessed and didn't care anyway. He's a health exec and you own a private practice and no friends said anything...pull the other leg, be honest now at least.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 23, 2008 5:12 PM

It was never a question of not ringing him at home. I have had his home number for years. He is a busy health executive, I am a busy owner of a private practice. Gave up trying to get hold of people on landlines years ago. I always use mobiles. I've rung his home number in the past to just get an answering service. I never thought for a minute he was hiding anything because why give me his address and home number if he was hiding anything. And I guess I am really naive and cant really imagine a man would risk everything for the sake of friendship or ego boost or whatever it was I was. I mean why bother.

Posted by: justmekylie at May 23, 2008 4:52 PM

What I still don't get, Kylie, is how come you didn't ring him at hime sometime in that 6 years? Wouldn't the fact that you couldn't ring him at home be a red flag?

Posted by: waterbombe at May 23, 2008 3:30 PM

lLonelyheart44 at May 23, 2008 10:51 AM

Thank you for your post and you summed up what I was getting at very succinctly.

I use a form of the words at the end of your post with my partner everyday. But I guess that I am lucky.My partner is one of the most beautiful 55 year old women in the world and I only had to stay on RSVP for a couple of months to find her. rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at May 23, 2008 2:25 PM

I only found out he had a partner 1 week befroe finidng out he had a wife.
21st April 2008 - he amits he has a partner at home.
27th April 2008 - i find out this 'partner' is in fact a wife and the mother of his 2 children.

I have ceased all contact with him.

Posted by: justmekylie at May 23, 2008 1:00 PM

Justmekylie, it seems you put a lot of time and effort into a guy for way too long after you found out he was a waste of time.
It would have been a lot more sensible to have disappeared from the onset of him having a partner.
Why you bothered to pursue anything from him even after you knew he wasnt genuine is beyond comprehension?
The fact that you knew he had a partner a long time before you knew he had a wife, you were holding on to a dream that wasnt your place to be.
He had chosen someone else above you. You gave this guy too much of your energy.
Maybe you need to think about that being a reason for you not successfully connecting with other guys you met?
From this experience, a lesson learnt perhaps?
You may choose next time to consider someone that involves you more into their life, rather than you letting them in your life only.
Takes two to Tango!

Posted by: lonelyheart44 at May 23, 2008 12:16 PM

And that was exactly what I thought we were, friends. I did move on and date other men. He encouraged me too as I encouraged him also. He heard all about my dating disasters and successes. I thought we were friends, good friends. Yes I have questioned whether any of my actions have been obsessive or could have been construed as such by him. My answer was no, there was just as much initiation of contact from him as there was from me. Yes it did occur to me that one of the reasons for his secrecy may have been he was afraid of me going ballistic and spoiling his cosy world. Except for the fact I have never gone ballistic over anything in my life and have never given him any cause to think I was even capable of this. There was ample opportunity for him to introduce her existence to me. Look , while I would have loved to have tried the whole relationship deal with him I knew that it would be a disaster but that didnt stop the dream ok. Above anything else I valued his friendship and did not want to ever lose that. In the week between finding out he had a partner and that this partner was in fact a wife we exchanged many emails. He was trying to keep my friendship and I was trying to let him see that he couldnt. I said to him he cant keep me secret from his partner because she will eventually find out and the longer it goes on the more hurt she will be from it. I said the other option of telling her will possibly mean the end of the relationship given her insecurities. I even told him that if I was him I would say goodbye to me. I told him I was willing to say goodbye out of respect for him and her and there relationship. He kept saying he really didint want to lose my friendship. Then he made out that he had just told her about me. Thats when I got sick of the bullshit and rang his house to talk to him properly. That phone call was horrendous. I am listening to his little performance and listening in complete silence feeling as if I am going to vomit as the full realisation of what really has been going on dawned on me. How long do you think it takes to put a block on a phone number or to get a new number which is exactly what he has done. IN the time I have known him he has had to change phone numbers d/t being supposedly harrassed by some woman. I called his wife before he had time to do damage control.

Posted by: justmekylie at May 23, 2008 11:19 AM

Regards to Grego7 posts:

I am 45 this year, and lucky enough to have the majority of the guys that I have met think I look at times in my early thirties.
However there was a time when I went out with a couple of guys that were in their late twenties.
It should have been a flattering moment, but instead it was an occasion for me to take a look at myself, and I felt nothing but insecurity.
The insecurity came from what I thought they may think of me if they were to see me with my clothes off.
Would I be judged by the fact that my breasts no longer looked like a twenty year old that had never had children, or the frown lines on my face may be more obvious to a younger guy?
The only way I could have ever felt comfortable about myself would have been, if the guy said to me that he wanted to be with me because of my mind, and not my body, or not just because of my looks.
So what I see in Gregos'posts is; He is seeking a woman with a mind, her character, her personality, her intelligence.
Is not that better than some of these guys these days that are seeking the much younger woman because they are seeking the outer appeal, because they are shallow?
I remember a story on a current affair programme years ago, where a 40 odd year old was in a relationship with a woman that was in her late seventies.
Although at the time I found that quite confusing, it did teach me something.
Some people just dont care about peoples looks no more, and love the person within.
This man loved her for who she was, and not for how she looked.
It would be really nice to know that we could meet a group of people that were seeking the person and not be judged for the body works.
How much more comfortable that would be putting ourselves out there in the dating world.
Only a few accept the deterioration of age, and consider it for partnership. Unfortunately some just wont even except it within themselves, so they wont consider their own age group, but rather end up making themselves look like idiots by going for the much younger.
As for me, I'm for the comfort zone, only guys of my own age group, and they are most likely to accept my own imperfections, and I accept theirs, but I would still like to hear those words. "I love you for who you are, and not for the way you look".

Posted by: lonelyheart44 at May 23, 2008 10:51 AM

Grego, you are discovering the folly of writing without examining all the possible negative inferences the 'coterie' here will be able to draw from your post. No sense of humour that crew haha.

Amber, your post at 9:56, what do you believe the porsche or lamborghini is thinking as they look towards you and note your soggy suspension. Best you don't let that go to your head.

Troy

Posted by: troyohboy at May 23, 2008 10:25 AM

Thanks for the computer advice...I tried it and heaven knows what I did but my fonts all changed! I better leave well enough alone..:-)
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 23, 2008 10:09 AM

I can only agree with all of you other ladies. Despite the fact Grego likes to try to convince us he is respectful of women, it is hard to know if this is truly the case, how he would even think that such comments are okay, much less repeat or write them!

As I wrote in previous blog, (as it seems that some men like to compare women to used cars!), there are a lot of creaky old Commodores out there, who seem to think that they could actually hold their own with the latest Porsche or Lamborghini. They certainly think they are at least as good as a newer model Commodore.
They haven't yet noticed that their own paintwork is a bit faded, their suspension is a bit suspect and their engine is past the stage where a simple tune up will fix things!
If they do deign to park next to a car of similar vintage, they think that they are doing it a favour!
Even though the other car might be in much better condition, having less miles/kms on the clock, and having been better maintained.

Yes our "suspension" might be a bit soggy", and the paintwork a bit faded, but I suspect that you'll find that our motors are well tuned, and we have no illusions as to our vintage.
Occasionally a Porsche or Lamborghini may look our way for a short time, because of our classic vintage looks, but we just don't let that go to our heads!

Posted by: amberlight58 at May 23, 2008 9:56 AM

To those insecure ineptitudes who think that all women over 40/50 are a write off, Istj, you are a shining example of how good looking a woman can be in her 50s. And you are not the only example.

Posted by: northernlights at May 23, 2008 9:55 AM

Perth@ 10.39pm last night. There's one here in Melb that I met and went out with who is 58. Also has a profile as 52 and wonders why the women crack it with him when he fesses up to his correct age. Hello.. Won't be told so!!! ...Cheers..."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 23, 2008 9:32 AM

Grego, you wrote in your post @ May 20 3.02 pm " The reality is that a woman in her 50's has lost her looks. These units have been around the block a few times so the suspension is a bit soggy and the bodywork a bit worn"

This is a patronisingly offensive comment and describing women as "units" shows a lack of respect toward females of all ages, not just the age bracket you mention.

Then you say "my father told me that you don't look at the mantelpiece when you are stoking the fire" ....which is a colloquialism for men describing having sex with a woman whose face they dont find attractive. Sounds offensive to me. You can back track all you like, but this wont change what you wrote,