RSVP Blog

Adelaide Bloggers Meet

I feel Saturday 28th June would be the best time for the bloggers meet.

It would be necessary for any persons wanting to be a part of this to contact me vie email to find out details

Posted by: virgil at May 29, 2008 11:47 AM

Virgil...I believe you can agree on a date on here and then the arrangements are taken off line. Saves contact if dates don't suit..."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 29, 2008 10:32 AM

Thanks WnW.... Will catch up with you again in a few months.... Cheers...."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 29, 2008 10:29 AM

OG..Old Bill (not TW), was going to say now you're going back but was in fact only in the second half of last year. Think that's right. Well, close enough anyway...My god how time flies.. Agree, that would've been a hoot. It really has impacted on you too my dear and that's a classic... Cheers...."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 29, 2008 10:25 AM

Adelaide Blog Meet

RSVP management have contacted me, to advise, that publicly metioning time and place for this event breaches RSVP guidelines.

I am hoping this post does not also breach the guidelines, so I would ask that anyone considering attending should contact me in the normal RSVP approved manner, ie by email.

Doug

Posted by: virgil at May 29, 2008 10:14 AM

I think past hurt definitely influences your approach to future relationships, particularly if the hurt/disappointment was recent. It's hard to treat every new person as they deserve to be treated (as different to the last). Everyone deserves to be taken on face value but that can in reality be hard.

Posted by: woodnwine at May 29, 2008 9:29 AM

virgil - I can put you in touch with G.

Posted by: woodnwine at May 29, 2008 8:56 AM

OG @ 10.17pm.. Kaa... "Trust in me"?? Yeh right!!!!.. Read you loud and clear sir!!!..."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 29, 2008 12:41 AM

I would also be interested in the bloggers meet in Adelaide. Have been a lurker and occasional poster for a while, but not recently.
I dont wish to draw attention to myself here an irony considering it is a site for meeting people.
To Katy, live and enjoy and keep your heart open, if it gets bruised occasionally, thats far better than it being frozen over. Works for me!!

Posted by: lifebegins47 at May 28, 2008 11:50 PM

Geez Kas,
Just as well it was a girls school you were taught Chaucer, us boys would have been walking around with our hands in our pockets stumbling over things with glazed eyes. Worse still the embarrasement of being caught by the house mistress with the torch under the blankets reading such filth. Life (as Malcomb said) was not meant to be easy, especially for boys, lol.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 28, 2008 11:45 PM

Hi everyone, I will probably be caterogised as a "lurker",but what the hell. Most of the time you people are too busy runnin the next person down where the idea for this thread is,"how dangerous is an open heart".
I have spent a lot of time on European sites chasing down and revealing "scammers" and dead set there is a few "lurking about this site as well!Why cannot we just offer insights about how we can improve life in general and help one another to find their soul mate in life. I thought that was RSVP was all about.
Cheers chas56.

Posted by: chas56 at May 28, 2008 11:32 PM

back in high school we did lots of Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet, plus Chaucer, plus The Great Gatsby, A Streetcar named Desire and then some D H Lawrence for good measure!!!
At the time I hated it, but it gave me a good grounding for some of my fav things...I love the theatre, live plays, the ballet and reading almost anything I can get my hands on.....

Virgil...those blog fests are a lot of fun...I have been to 2 in Sydney and one in Melbourne - no not the famed one that FP was at - and it really helps to put names to real faces. I have met up to 30 bloggers, and will meet a few more when I go to Brisbane at the end of June. Plus I have made some really close friends that I talk to frequently...all thru participating in the blogs...so when everyone gets over having the shits, the blogs may become fun and informative again!!!

Katybell don't give up yet!!

Sleep well all...jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at May 28, 2008 11:20 PM

Hey Virgil, a word of advise,,, Don't post the venue on the blogs... Dates, etc, are ok but once confirmed advise venue, etc by direct email.. There's enough of us who know each other that addy's can be passed on. May have to use a few stamps but cost should be minimal if you use the grapevine so to speak. You can get mine from one of my lady friends over here. I'm sure you know who.... Otherwise get one of them to pass yours on to those who are going.
Could save yourself a few headaches in the long run but it is your call if you're doing the organising....Good luck with it all....Cheers..."G" .

Posted by: amdoingit at May 28, 2008 11:17 PM

Ouch Kaz, I'm older'n you darl, I'm sure we had novels to read but can't remember a single one.. That bloody "Craft Disease" or something maybe? Dang it!!!!......"G"..

Posted by: amdoingit at May 28, 2008 11:10 PM

Bob, I'm reading you loud and clear!!!!...."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 28, 2008 10:58 PM

G. & K ( G&T would sound better)
I can only presume that this was a Brasilian convent. The pity of literature was that Old Bill (not our Tw) did not know of this, I would have been desiourously extatic to read him on the beauty of the Brasil.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 28, 2008 10:57 PM

"G", we got a dose of "The Canterbury Tales" by Geoffrey Chaucer, in HSC Literature, stood me in good stead, l can't recall a thing.

Was more into the books we had to read in English, Cuckoos Nest, Gatsby, were my favorites and revisit them now and then...........K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 28, 2008 10:53 PM

I'm with you Kaz, I grew up in the convent so Shakespeare wasn't taught... too much else of importance to learn!!!!!.... Did I miss much??? .... "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 28, 2008 10:27 PM

Marcus@7.35pm.
Mate are you sure Virg didn't write that.

MissPrissy,
you have to be very carefull on here. I am one of the non literary types you can trust, who doesn't have to google, having the complete works on hard copy. As Kaa said "trust in me". lol
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 28, 2008 10:17 PM

God, all l can quote from memory is "Romeo, Romeo, wherefor art thou Romeo"...........K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 28, 2008 10:01 PM

No way,I wouldn't class myself in that catagory at all :-) - I enjoy reading a bit of Shakespeare every now and then.As most of us may have, I studied it back in high school that's all, and have loved it ever since. Am very taken by Lady Macbeth's soliloquy in Act 2 Scene 3(I think??Can't quite remember, Will need to look it up...) which starts off "The raven himself is hoarse that croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan under my battlements. Come you spirits that tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here and fill me from the crown to the toe, top full of direst cruelty, make thick my blood and stop up the access and passage to remorse, so that no compunctious visitings of nature shake fell my purpose, nor keep peace between the effect and it.... " etc, That's from memory (memorised the piece about 25 years ago as it made such a great impact on me as a very young and impressionable 17 year old). It's a very powerful piece of literature ( in full) and I feel is also very relevant in our modern post-feminist era.

Liked your bit of prose too :-), appreciate your sense of drollness. I enjoy your blogs L & T, although sometimes you are quite cheeky and very wicked!:-).

Regards
Jacqui Miss P

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 28, 2008 8:41 PM

Remand..... yes l see the resemblance now, M, thanks for the *enlightenment*...

Or could it be more like self punishment............K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 28, 2008 8:13 PM

Posted by: auntykaz at May 28, 2008 12:39

Marcus, kind of like a schoolyard then ??.............K
.....................
Perhaps more like remand.

Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 28, 2008 7:40 PM

misspriss01 at May 28, 2008 6:36 PM

You seem cultivated; perhaps you might consider sharing thoughts on some Shakespeare?

William Shakespeare:

Hamlet. Do you see yonder cloud that �s almost in shape of a camel?
Polonius. By the mass, and �t is like a camel, indeed.
Hamlet. Methinks it is like a weasel.
Polonius. It is backed like a weasel.
Hamlet. Or like a whale?
Polonius. Very like a whale.

Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 28, 2008 7:35 PM

Virgil, as mentioned to you yesterday, I will be there for the Adelaide meet too! :-) Looking forward to it!
Jacqui

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 28, 2008 6:40 PM

Posted by: guiltypleasure at May 28, 2008 7:42 AM
lovely post! Thank you GP.
Yes, Katybell, welcome to the blogs.:-)Please don't be put off by the viciousness of some individuals. It has been very testing for me over the last week but I have refused to give in to the nastiness and will continue to comment as I see fit on the blog topics. (Have said enough on this one).
You would be more than welcome to come along to the Adelaide blog meet as well if you are able to. There are some very nice people on these blogs too. As the advice was given to me the other day by Perth, just respond in kind to the people who are here for the right reasons on RSVP (ie to meet a genuine partner as I hope to) and ignore those who are deliberately trying to upset or harrass.

kind regards

Jacqui (MissP)

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 28, 2008 6:36 PM

istj - Let's leave lunch languising like (a) lesson learnt lest lurkers lament life's little lunacies (and) leave.

Posted by: woodnwine at May 28, 2008 2:58 PM

Ha istj, will we appoint you playground monitor ??
Or was that yard duty ??...l can't remember.......I will be in charge of making cups of tea....................K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 28, 2008 2:53 PM

WnW...I "like" it...let's get over the life lesson lunch..n...let the sleeping dogs lie...good advice...Aunty Kaz...I would be the expert on the school yard, or the classroom...and you are so right, in fact spot on:))

Posted by: istj54 at May 28, 2008 12:57 PM

amdoingit
That sounds really good, as I would like to see you in Adelaide.

So, there might be a fair gathering by the sound of it.

Posted by: virgil at May 28, 2008 12:45 PM

Marcus, kind of like a schoolyard then ??.............K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 28, 2008 12:39 PM

Thats great Decoratess,

I would very much like to meet you.

Posted by: virgil at May 28, 2008 12:38 PM

Virgil... I'm in, too... I'd love to meet the Adelaide bloggers! I have friends who live there, & I can visit them at the same time..

Posted by: decoratress at May 28, 2008 12:17 PM

guiltypleasure at May 28, 2008 7:42 AM

Haha. Good rant. The Terrigal terrier. Would you like to name your dirty dozen?

Blogger natural selection is a reality; and why not. Scrutiny is important.
This funny, hybrid place behaves like an internet Forum without the organisation and formality.

Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 28, 2008 12:15 PM

istj54, L could stand for:
lunch
life lesson
let sleeping dogs lie
let's get over this

Posted by: woodnwine at May 28, 2008 12:01 PM

Virgil, you guys organise it and I'm sure if the date suits some of us just may shuffle on over. I don't have a free weekend before the last one in June but if it's from then on I just may be able to swing it...Cheers..."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 28, 2008 11:43 AM

WnW...what does L mean?...and it is hard to move on when bloggers continue to insult...but I agree with Guiltypleasure, who probably includes me in the resident boring bloggers, and am going to try a two week sabbatical from blogging.

Posted by: istj54 at May 28, 2008 9:50 AM

FP - sorry to say this but will you ever move on from that lunch experience and file it away under L?
I know FP and WB and they are both nice people but let's move on and make these blogs a happier, more informative place to talk.

Posted by: woodnwine at May 28, 2008 9:10 AM

How many profiles are on RSVP - 5, 10, perhaps 15,000? More?

That's a lot of people, most of whom are living their lives, getting on with the business of being single and working hard to change that default setting.

And then there's The Bloggers. Good grief. A more venal, antsey, judgemental and petty group of sand-pit dwellers would be hard to find. How old are you lot? 6?

FFS!!! Stop hijacking the discussion with stupid remarks and hostile opinions about the apparent merits of the people who post here. This is NOT an exclusive club. It's a public forum, and honestly, you're scaring people away with your ridiculous behaviours.

RSVP is a tool for meeting people. That's it. It's not rocket sience. I haven't cracked any enigma code in telling you this. It's just a way to meet people. At the end of it you've still got to get out from behind your monitors and pick up the phone and talk to someone. You still have to remember your manners when talking inperson with someone. You have to be anything BUT the people you are here in order to make the experiences of RSVP worthwhile.

So here's a challenge to the dozen or so blogroom residents who constantly hog the discussion. Shut Up. Give yourselves a holiday. Get out and sit in the sun for a while. Have a self-imposed Morotorium of say two weeks. Get out into the Real World.

Give some others a fighting chance to express themselves, and come out of the shadows. That way, we might actually a) discuss the topic at hand and b) encourage more people to join in.

Posted by: guiltypleasure at May 28, 2008 7:42 AM

Adelaide Bloggers Meet

Maybe it is time and Jacqui said, I like the idea that it is not on a Crows or Port match day, I would add Eagles to that list as well.

First we need a few starters?

Maybe some visitors from across the border?
Perth? amdoingit? AuntieKaz? and any more who might come to our fair city.

Posted by: virgil at May 28, 2008 1:12 AM

Good grief! I last posted here on the 25th May and what voluminous venom was pouring when I dropped in tonight. Get over yourselves please. He said, she said; she's old and ugly, he's a trannie multi profiler...

I have heard more coherent diatribes in a Glaswegian Emergency Department or at over-tired pre-Schoolers Christmas party.

Settle down and get over it. It's blog. It is boring for the rest of us and BTW I am a 15 year old nerd with transient acne and a lot of self help books desperately searching for help in getting laid - or at least I expect to be described in those terms very soon!

More poetry please OG
Crank up the scepticism I beg you stoic
Have a quick rant Marcus as only you know how... but save us all from this there was enough diarrhoea for a lifetime last time I worked overseas...

Posted by: firelightlady at May 27, 2008 11:44 PM

Hi katybell.......nothing wrong with looking happy at your 50th !!! Sorry, I had a little peek :) Welcome to the 50 and fabulous club :)))
Gets a bit boisterous in here when some of us start throwing the sand around a bit I know but it can also be a source of advice, some good and some not so good, and a place to meet new friends.
Best of luck in online dating land.

Posted by: jenjen57 at May 27, 2008 11:34 PM

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 27, 2008 12:48 AM

Being bitter, twisted, and cynical doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, it just makes you cautious about the motivations of others. I class myself as a hopeful pessimist. ^_^

Posted by: waterbombe at May 26, 2008 8:10 AM

Ah, the joys of the internet...
Where the men are men,
most of the women are men,
and the rest are FBI agents! ;)

Regarding the use of fake profiles, all I can say it invariably makes it that much harder for the people who are genuine and are serious about meeting someone for a real relationship. However, as is the case in the real world, you have to be careful to protect yourself when you are uncertain of the motives of others. Although we would all like to be able to trust people and believe the best about them, the fact remains that there are many people out there that try to use services like this for less than honourable ends. The old adage 'cavaet emptor' (sp?) remains true.

Of course, I should out myself at this point for posting while having a hidden profile - my (lame) excuse is that I've yet to pluck up the courage to make it visible, and I still need a photo (no dig camera).

So, don't judge the 'lurkers' too hard, some of us are just excruciatingly shy...

The many-syllabled-one,
- Martin.

Posted by: sesquipedalian76 at May 27, 2008 11:12 PM

KatyBell - welcome to the microcosm that is the blogs. Don't be worried, take everything you read here with a grain of salt. People tend to blow off a bit of steam and those that have more than one profile are lucky enough to be able to blow off more steam than others.

Don't harden your heart, KatyBell. There are enough people like that on here and in the world in general.

Try to be more protective of it, without hardening it. Easier said than done, I know. It takes discipline and lots of 'self talk'. I have no real answers but there are others here that may be able to give you some sound advice. Good luck to you!

Posted by: ninaschen at May 27, 2008 11:10 PM

...funny thing was, iaminperth, I thoroughly enjoyed the lunch at the time and thought they were a decent, interesting group of people...but apparently they must have been arranging to kick on afterwards whilst FP and I were upstairs and we were uninvited...lovely people...n*t!

Posted by: istj54 at May 27, 2008 11:07 PM

I am a little worried now. I have just read this blog on how dangerous is an open heart and it seems to be open slather on each other. I posted a comment because I am new to this thing and I have been hurt and I want to know how not to be. I don't know if you people can help me or not. I'm a 50 year old woman who doesn't know what the hell she's doing. I need help. In reference to broken hearts. Mine is so very easily broken and I want to know how to harden it. I won't survive otherwise there are awful people on here and yes I believe people do deliberately hurt other people. It's the why I can't understand.

Posted by: katybell at May 27, 2008 10:39 PM

Gosh, what a bitterly disappointing lunch that sounds, rather like the blogs, only in person. Maybe time to forget it though, not worth dwelling on, it happened, get over it and move on.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 27, 2008 10:34 PM

OG, sorry made a mistake, the lunch was actually in December, which kinda makes it worse dontcha think ?????.............K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 27, 2008 9:27 PM

How are we all today? In good moods, I see, full of the joys of life, charm and grace, etc.
That remark about MissPriss being a moonlighting drag queen was meant as an ironic attempt to ask was she a man posing as a woman. Some of you think it�s an insult. I didn't intend it as that. I just thought the multiprofiler who had created MissPriss was so over the top with the whole �I�m so plum tuckered out� etc language that he sounded like a drag queen. It�s absolutely illegal to discriminate against gay people, btw, so if MissPriss etc did want to lay a complaint of harrassment about being called a gay drag queen, the lawyers would laugh. It's not a negative thing any more. The world has moved on a bit thank God.

Your memory about the lunch is a bit crook, Femalepersuasion. You were there when I got there and I wasn�t late. I didn�t recognize you though, I had to ask someone who was the woman with the long dark hair, and when they said FP you could have knocked me over with a feather! I said, �Gosh! I may be plum tuckered out but she doesn�t look like her photos at all! Dang and darn, is my eyesight going?!!� but a couple of other people at the lunch assured me my eyesight must be ok because they hadn�t recognized you either. After the lunch occurred you spent days being absolutely rude to a whole lot of women on the blogs �something to the effect that you�re gorgeous and they�re not, I think it was� consequently you didn�t get a second invite to lunch, who could be bothered� and we were all completely fed up with your blogging abuse, so I told you that you look 5 years older than your photos (meaning �if you can't take it, stop dishing it out�). As I recall you then described me as a 60 year old quite plain�.no, very unnattractive woman. Quite right, I am dreadfully plain, if I revealed my photo you would all get such a shock! so I considerately keep it hidden.

If anyone has been bullied on here it�s me�you have said dreadful things to me and about me. I�m surprised you are not embarrassed by yourselves. This is a blog�real life is out there, not on here. Don't bother responding though, guys, I think we are mostly talking to one person here anyway, the multiprofiler, so I won't be wasting my time. I didn't realise so many profiles were his...but now I do (via that post from Northernlights yesterday) I have no interest in corresponding with him. If you know you�re not him, hop onto another blog and talk to some real people. If you are him, sweet talking.

Lastly, this is for the few real people on here who demand that every blogger makes their profile visible. If I could be bothered I�d make one with a new name and an old photo, and come back here and blog and talk to you about heaps of things. But would you know it was waterbombe. I doubt it.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 27, 2008 8:33 PM

Thank you so much Virgil, FP, Grego,OG,BM, Perth et al for your lovely responses and support. I feel I can go ahead and continue to blog without anymore fear or trepidation, even when in the midst of any future attacks, it's okay, I have nothing to hide and am totally 100% upfront and a bona fide person.
FP, many thanks to you, your blog was very kind and thoughtful and has bolstered my self-confidence a bit more (esp. regards my photos) - I also thoroughly enjoy your blogs as they have brought to light some very eloquent and thought provoking ideas with a different perspective for me to consider and I appreciate them very much.
I was actually a bit worried my post last night was too forthright or damning but felt compelled to express an opinion that I believe is held by many bloggers here.

Virgil, I think that would be a fantastic idea (re Adelaide bloggers meet) - let's hope Karina would agree to the group photo - you're brilliant! :-) Just don't make it on any Crows (or even Port Power!) match days :-).

Quote verbatum...
"Ahh, MissPriss - you sound like a lot of fun and with somelifeinyouyet. And such a lady, too. Oops my space key seems to be sticking. I'm sure no-one will have too much trouble deciphering this. Especially those of you who have been around for a while."

Posted by: ninaschen at May 24, 2008 7:17 PM.
Having re-visited your blog after the ensuing attacks reads very sarcastic; not just accusing me of being a made up profile but the "such a lady" implies to me to be the opposite - in reference to my photos (?). Yes, an assumption on my behalf, but can you blame me for the continual and virulent attacks coming left, right and centre. I actually think you have a lovely photo but after realising the "nastiness" behind your comments directed at my photos,was rather offended. But, having said that, I sincerely apologise if I have in turn upset you in anyway. Photos are a very personal and vulnerable part of our profile and I know I have much paranoia over mine. Not the most confident of lasses I guess :-) (and I'm not trying to gather compliments either!).

Yes, some of my posts were a tad silly, but hey, I do have a ridiculously wacky sense of humour and hoped that it would have been taken in the manner it was delivered - honest,open & light-heartedly and without hidden agenda ( I was also trying to be on topic,for those of you who missed the point of this blog topic :-)).

I've said enough on this and hope to continue blogging in a positive and constructive manner, and will not be returning to this issue to re-hash or dissect endlessly as yes it has become boring and stale - for me anyway, and yes the attacks 'tis only words on a computer screen!!

Regards and "loveth" (yes, loveth is actually a word I use in real life with family and friends! :-) )
Jacqui... Miss P (yes, maybe the profile name does sound a tad "twee" but I've decided don't care, it does reflect a small part of who I am in real life).

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 27, 2008 6:46 PM

OG l think l was actually criticising the references to WB's partner, not WB per se.

As l said, l get my fair share of criticism on different fronts, and have had my very own self questioned re identity in the past. And dealt with it on my own thanks very much, quite capably and ably.........

Plenty of people question others do they not ??....Not buying in to it OG, l couldn't be bothered.............
As for being sensitive about the lunch, it happened in FEBRUARY!!! Months ago.......Whatever FP's problems with it do we really really need to read about it here??? Spend a stamp and get it out of the way in private for goodness sake..........K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 27, 2008 6:45 PM

Kaz @ 4.58 pm.
True the argy bargy, is fair enough, we both have copped it and given as good as we got.
It seems to me the members of the luncheon are more defensive and sensetive about it than those that seem to comment on it. Quiet frankly if there was one to be held in my area I would love to attend, but I seem to be the only blogger in this area. The willow episode was at the time topical and my right, no one wants to hear or believe the later events, so be it. The matter I bought up was your defence of WB and the hurt she has done, you have not made any public critisim of her only defended her, I think to the derriment of yourself, in my eyes for one.
g

Posted by: oldergent at May 27, 2008 6:02 PM

FP, l don't think l have said our exchange was not pleasant, quite the opposite actually.
That this did not extend to all is another matter.
As for playing games, well, l really do not think that saying l am doing that is fair or true.
For the life of me l cannot think why this lunch is AGAIN being brought up....
It was a lunch lasting a few hours, longer than some of of my dates, sure, but just a lunch nevertheless.
Some of have met up since and will continue to do so as we are friends. That is what friends do. They catch up.
Whether we met here or not is immaterial.
Put it where it belongs, on the backburner and move on. Please........................K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 27, 2008 5:36 PM

OG, hanging the odd bit of colored stuff on other bloggers is fine by me l get my fair share as you would know, and generally take it on the chin, at times after a bit of back and forth.....
I thought the reference to WB's partner a bit off the beam is all.....not a biggie.......
Haven't bought into the stuff between WB and MP and do not intend to.
As for me being good and fair, OG, l have my moments, like we all do, of not quite so good........
On the Willow topic, l thought that his treatment was unfair. I also thought that the way that Lonelyheart was treated was bad form.
Two very thoughtful bloggers who wrote what l thought were interesting posts, and l know l am not the lone ranger there.
They both attempted to stand up for themselves and got howled down for that...
Now tell me OG, where is the difference................K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 27, 2008 4:58 PM

Priss, Don't get put off, it's a funny environment, just don't give too much personal information away. I have been attacked by TW for ages, but for what, just to try and spoil it for someone else and get more attention. I suppose for some people any attention is better than no attention. Just go on being yourself, say what you wish to say and if someone hones in on you change the subject and ignore it. It is a shame really as there are some very interesting posts on the site but unfortunately get swamped by a lot of meaningless garbage at times. And you look fine, you know you look fine and you have nothing to defend yourself for.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 27, 2008 4:58 PM

I believe TW tries to discredit who I am because I stated an opinion regarding to a statement he had made numerous times. i.e., taking all afternoon to write a blog. It is very easy to see that he obviously doesn't take that long and can rip off an enormously large amount of vitriol very quickly. Also a lot of other things he stated didn't make any sense to me and he contradicted himself too often. To divert the attention away from himself he started to call me a sock puppet in his usual rude and brash way. Ridiculous really and spoils the blogs.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 27, 2008 4:30 PM

Kaz @11.52am
I did not ignore your sheesh at me, I responded in a manner I thought less critical of you and to you, I was dissapointed and bemused when it was censored. It was not directed at the person you are stoutly defending. That also surprises me because I have always from day 1, found you to be good and fair, So your stance makes me wonder why, surely you would be offended if someone directed the same vitriol at you that jacqui has sustained from your friend. Yes I know that I upset Willow but I tried to make amends, in the end it was his decission to go, purely because of the same situation that exists today. I learnt my lesson in that incident and have endeavoured to ignore the nastiness and slurs directed at me. Also those people I do not respect can never hurt me, only the ones that hold my respect can do that to me.
OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 27, 2008 4:02 PM

Miss Prissy, what a great response. I can relate having had a similar experience on these blogs and from the same person too...she who calls herself "waterbombe".

Why would she choose to react in this way..who knows?? seriously..

Found myself in a similar situation last year after making some +ve comments about my dating on RSVP and men.. just happen to think men are great...you can imagine how that went down amongst some of the women who blog..you can imagine.

I was invited to meet a group of bloggers in Melbourne...I went to this social gathering..enjoyed myself..talked to several people, but not all as it was a large group and I was only there for the last hour.
Came home happy, until I read the blogs that night. The Waterbombe wrote a post saying that someone at the lunch didnt look like their photo.
Now why would she say this? deliberately trying to hurt another womans feelings..and consider that it seemed a fun afternoon up until this point
I took exception to to these comments of hers, especially seeing it was from a woman who has a hidden photo...and I dont give a rats as to why the her photo is hidden..the point is she criticises others who not only have the guts to show recent photos, when she remains safely hidden from scrutiny...but she criticises for what purpose??? She doesnt know me and she didnt speak with me that day. So what is her agenda ???
So, Priss...I am not surprised in the least that she criticises your photos. I could say that it is because you are a gorgeous and intelligent woman..which you are..but I suspect it is more about her own issues,,and you are the scapegoat,,as I was.
This doesnt however explain her "friends" who defend her relentlessy and without question despite the fact that they dont know you, or infact me.
These people that are quick to judge , when they have never spoken to me ( G) or have spoken to me ( Karen) and the exchange was pleaseant and fun.
I also found it enlightening that some of the men that day contacted me afterwards to offer their support, and in the same breath asked me not to tell anyone that thy had contacted me, because they didnt want these women to find this out....Seems to me thes bloggers ae playing games amongst themselves.
Seems to me also that I have refused to blame the game..they dont like that.

Good on you Miss Prissy..great post !

Posted by: femalepersuasion at May 27, 2008 3:35 PM

Posted by: troyohboy at May 27, 2008 11:44 AM

Troy, sadly you are quite correct that what I have suggested would not eliminate the vicious person (or self deluded wanker who gets his kicks out multiprofiles). That sort of person will always find some way of circumventing the system.

However, I do believe it is reasonable for bloggers to have their profiles visible as a guesture of their bona fides. If it was a real life situation one would not have a conversation with another person by hiding behind a screen.

I dont believe a photo is necessary.

A visible profile, however, does cause some problem if you are not looking for "kisses". On going back a month I found that Waterbombe had made her profile visible and had immediately been "kissed" despite stating she did not want responses. This has also happened to me. Surprisingly, considering the ugly old bastard that I am.

Unwanted responses are most annoying. Some people are obviously incapable of reading and understanding a response is not wanted.

Up until the other day I did not care whether a profile was hidden or not. But I found that I had an immediate, visceral and quite violet hatred to sock puppets I would liken them to cockroaches. ( an animal that is deserving of instant death on sight if found in the house )

Perhaps a verification process of the RSVP monicker might work as is used on some other dating sites.

But, the main reason for my sugestion was my disgust at the level of personal attack on a couple of individuals. I think that it is very cowardly to attack someone from the cover of a hidden profile.

Well, having vented my spleen I think I will go seek some coackies in the kitchen cupboards. rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at May 27, 2008 3:21 PM

Karina

If we organised a bloggers meet in Adelaide, with a group photo, would we be able to put it up on the RSVP website?

Posted by: virgil at May 27, 2008 3:20 PM

Jacqui

There seems to be little rhyme or reason why some people are criticised on the blogs, particularly those who are genuine decent people.

Timewarp has a fixation that iaminperth is a made up personality of an identity he calls mr Svengali, he has made no such accusation about you.

Maybe there could be a blogers meet in Adelaide, and we could have a group photo. I feel that would put the doubtful bloggers minds at rest.

Posted by: virgil at May 27, 2008 3:18 PM

Sometimes extremely dangerous, sometimes it's better that you are not playing games. We are ageing and playing tit for tat games or I don't want to wear my heart on my sleeve could also make you miss out on what could be the best relationship that you may encounter. Each person is different and if you feel you need to give your heart then do so. Don't treat everyone according to the last or first etc.

Posted by: tori71 at May 27, 2008 12:29 PM

Northern Lights, quite an interesting bit of info there........
Grego, do you find it more palatable to be insulted by a blogger with a visible profile??

RSVP is an open website, are we not all subject to enter at own risk??
And do we need to keep a blogsite in a bit of perspective ??
We are not all going to agree with one another, and the inevitable will result.
l have also had my (visible) profile questioned in the past. I got over it...................K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 27, 2008 11:52 AM

Posted by: grego7 at May 27, 2008 10:22 AM

Grego, I understand what you mean however do you honestly believe that would hinder the viscious and/or sock puppets?

I could create another profile in ten minutes that said anything, as others have, make it visible and blog. Of what value is that to genuine bloggers? I believe it is more genuine to post as myself and, from time to time so others know I'm 'for real' make my profile visible. Otherwise I remain hidden as is my choice.

As to legal exposure, that is taken care of by the moderator whether the profile is visible or not.

Troy

Posted by: troyohboy at May 27, 2008 11:44 AM

Posted by: oldergent at May 27, 2008 9:38 AM

Karina, I agree with OG that to post on the blog one should have one's profile open. There is no need to have the photo showing but the profile should be there for all to read.

Making personal attacks is unacceptable but doubly so when it is by a person with a hidden profile. This is cowardly and contemptible.

I think that there may be some legal exposure for RSVP should a person who comes under sustained attack become depressed and come to some harm.

Irrespective of what one's religious convictions may be we all owe a duty of care to our fellow bloggers.

rgds grego7

Posted by: grego7 at May 27, 2008 10:22 AM

MissPriss - please point me to a post where I insulted your photos. I have made no mention of them at all. I don't make negative comments on someone's photo as, even if a profile is a fake, the photos would be of a, probably unwitting, real person and that person deserves more respect.

Posted by: ninaschen at May 27, 2008 9:55 AM

Misspriss01,

Jacqui, Well done for your stand and I endorse your comments 100%. Should you need any other back up for your complaint count me in and I am prepared to supply my name and address etc.

I accessed your photo thank you. As you know I am more interested in reading a persons profile rather than looking at pictures. I have no idea why anyone would criticize your appearance. It reflects on the weakness of their character. Keep on ignoring them.

Your profile indicates that you are a lovely person and your behaviour under severe personal attack has been courageous, dignified and if I may use an old world expression very ladylike.

You have earned the admiration of many. Already 2 people have expressed their support and via this post I urge others to post their support as well.

Please dont leave these blogs. rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at May 27, 2008 9:54 AM

Misspriss....nicely expressed reply there.
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 27, 2008 9:42 AM

some persons state what they want to percieve, without any thought to context, one recently accused me of jumping into the sand pit with glee at the thought of her relationship ending. I can assure her I did not, why should I when I was not understanding who would want to have a relationship with her in the first place.

Then when a person I have liked and respected from day 1 comes and chastises me for a post that was allowed, it was then I realised how disruptive such a person can be. Having been accused of being a person that would not attract a contact because of my posts, I suggest if they did not have the comfort of an existing partner the same would apply to them.

But how dare a person with a hidden profile, attack without any foundation or proof a person with an open profile. is something RSVP should address. I can take all the comments addressed at me, but when it is, I demand the right of reply without censorship from the moderator, which has not happened recently especilly when I kept within the bounds of the rules.

Back to resorting on hard copy of posts.
OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 27, 2008 9:38 AM

northernlights - that's some mission you're on.

Posted by: woodnwine at May 27, 2008 9:25 AM

MissPriss01,
Good for you, I am glad to see that post was allowed, for some reason, recently some of my responses which I deliberately kept within the bounds of the accusations put to me were not posted. I accessed your photo's with no problem. I must admit I was surprised with some of the comment from some of the longer time bloggers, (whom I thought knew something I did not) and not at all by one in particular. I refuse to answer to that type of person, I would also suggest you do also. I know for a fact that person is not as popular as self promoted.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 27, 2008 9:06 AM

The Crimes (Stalking) Act 2003 (Victoria) provides that conduct constituting stalking may include contacting the victim by email or other electronic means.

Computer and email misuse is also covered by Sec 359B©(ii) of the Criminal Code Act 1899 (Qld) and Sec 21A of the Crimes Act 1958 (Vic).

These provisions are quite adequate to prosecute an offence where the offender is believed to have dispatch an email which constitutes the crime of stalking from within Queensland to a woman in Victoria.

It is generally accepted that there are 3 types of cyber stalking at large:

1. email stalking involving direct communication designed to intimidate the recipient;
2. the posting of slanderous or threatening material on publicly accessible websites (eg rsvp)
3. computer stalking, in which the computer of the victim is taken over.

Posted by: northernlights at May 27, 2008 7:00 AM

Posted by: virgil at May 26, 2008 10:41 AM

Thanks Virgil (Doug), I truly appreciate your sincere words.

It's very late and haven't been able to log on until now... Have a few comments I would like to make in regards to the past few days....

I am actually for real guys - I wish you would stop harassing and bullying me please. I would like to also make observations and contribute my opinion to the regular blogs but have yet been able to due to the vindictive and harrassing nature of certain "individuals" (for want of a better word for some of you!!) on this blogging area. Instead have had to (try) to deflect much bullying and harrassing comments - have tried with humour,self-deprecation, etc.In fact, I haven't actually said anything of any consequence or depth at all (yes, Waterbombe, I know you will make another derogatory comment - now about my "depth" of intellect or something equally disparaging).

I am now being extremely serious.

Have made an official complaint to RSVP - not that it will make much difference!!! I have now experienced that the bullies are alive and well on this blogging site.

I stand by my profile as true and honest and live my life to the best possible standards in the real world - here in Adelaide. I feel that it shows the type of people I have associated with in my life as I had never heard of the expression "player" before - maybe I have led a too sheltered life in that respect, but I am so glad that I have never had the misfortune of encountering such devious and unscrupulous people as many of you no doubt have.

Having read more blogs I now understand what many of you have been saying - eg,ninaschen I am not "somelifeleftinme" -or something like that- as you seem to have assumed - instead you have insulted me incredibly in regards to my photos.I have read your profile and you sounded (or what I previously thought) like a very decent and "normal", civilised lady. No one is perfect, I am the first to admit to that, I am no stunner, but I would never insult you about your photo. We are both average, everyday women, not supermodels.

Many other strange names have been mentioned by many others.Can't be bothered to list them all, you all get the gist.

Twoeyes, the photo password is correct. Other people have been able to access the photos. I was recently in my brothers wedding (hence the bouquet and very formal black dress) - was a fantastic day - very joyful and celebratory, after our family had endured much sadness and loss over the last few years.

Yes, it IS dangerous having an open heart - I have definitely found this out through RSVP blogs. Doesn't give much hope for those of us who are looking for a genuine and loving partner via this forum when there are many who are cynical, distrusting, bitter individuals - which of course is your own problem as you have to live with yourselves everyday and no one else.
So much for living in a democratic society and supposedly having freedom of speech - especially when one (myself) hasn't actually said anything offensive or harrassing.
I'm so glad I have the real life I do.

Kind regards - especially to those of you who have treated not only myself but everyone else with respect and allowed the real people (including myself) to be themselves on this blogging site.

Miss P, Jacqui.

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 27, 2008 12:48 AM

Marcus @ 8.52pm...

Determined so by myself, from experience.
I'm not prepared to discuss this on the blog, however if you send me a kiss I'll email you & answer, where possible, any questions you may have.

Posted by: decoratress at May 26, 2008 10:09 PM

yes Marcus, we know that men are victims too.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 26, 2008 10:03 PM

WB at 7.30pm: Thank you for repeating and detailing what you know, and what we all need to know. I admitted today being taken in myself by a smooth operator.

It's not paranoid, Marcus, it's what the wise old mother elephants tell their calves.

Beware of the wicked witch, especially if she has unusually hairy ears and nostrils, and offers you lollies, or tea, sympathy and very big long hairy ears, if you're older.

Or a free ride in the back of her truck, with the strong bars in case you fell out on a fast corner. How fast you ask? Try a bit under 280km/h on the straights. Now that's skedaddling, I reckon.

Posted by: timewarp1 at May 26, 2008 9:14 PM

Waterbeetle.26, 2008 7:30 PM

"I'm not paranoid but...." Haha. Come on. We all know what can happen when guile meets gullible. How do you protect people from themselves? You create more problems than you solve when women are taught and encouraged as of right to deeply distrust men. It is just another form of bloke bashing that is so ingrained you don't realise you are doing it.
Men are by far the biggest victims of internet scams, in terms of number and amount of money as well as emotional fraud.
This is extremely well documented.

decoratressMay 26, 2008 7:53 PM

Why is this "serial sociopathic multiprofiler" a dangerous man? Dangerous in what sense and determined so by whom?

Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 26, 2008 8:52 PM

Marcus the internet is hardly a place devoid of wackos and strange types.

There are plenty of noted mentions on these very blogs that reference internet friendships as being less than ideal.
From male and female perspectives. Misogyny or misandry notwithstanding, l feel that taking great care and treating this and other sites with great caution is paramount....
Sure you enter at your own risk, but it behoves us to take caution nevertheless.....................K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 26, 2008 8:45 PM

Or woman, decoratress depending on the day, date, month it would seem..
The likes of justsaying and amodnar recently, as well as SLIMY in earlier times to mention but a few, arrive with a thump, blab on and on then disappear into the darkness.....makes you wonder really......................K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 26, 2008 8:36 PM

Waterbombe,Could not agree with you more.90% of scammers are men posing as young women or pretending to be young eligble men.Most of these scams originate in Russia or Africa.The scammers are very smart and know their craft.All dating sites can be infiltrated by these lowlifes, especially ones where it costs nothing to join like this one.I have encountered 2 on this site, 1 just recently.I informed Admin about my concerns and the suspect profile was immediately removed from the site.If anyone is suss about a profile then tell admin about it as these scammers are pro's
and will take your money and break your heart.For the ladies sake, I suppose we could include married men who pose as being single!!They may not take a ladys money but they are robbing them emotionally!
Cheeers Chas.

Posted by: chas56 at May 26, 2008 8:33 PM

Marcus

Thanks for the kind words, I actually havent been reading Richard Dawkins, I have looked at his website.

You may be surprised to know that US Anglican Bishop, John Spong has similar views in a number of areas, he is a bit of a hero of mine, as Richard Dawkins is of yours.

You have made several comments regarding religion over the last few days, no one in this country is forced to follow a religion, many intelligent people do, because they feel good about doing so.

Very few believe everything that is said by religious leaders. Some like myself, pick what resonates with themselves, from Christianity, Buddhism, and even some of the new age techniques such as meditation, aroma therapy etc.

Posted by: virgil at May 26, 2008 8:25 PM

yup...

The NeuroticFish version wins the day! YAY!!!

& Marcus.. there is every reason for paranoia on this site.. several of us know who a serial sociopathic multiprofiler is. He's a dangerous man.

Posted by: decoratress at May 26, 2008 7:53 PM

Marcus, I'm not paranoid but you are naieve if you think that the internet is a safe place for women. There is a lot of research on internet scams, and a great deal of it is perpetrated by men posing as women and sucking in trusting women as friends. The fact that you don't know about it doesn't mean anything at all. Women need to be really careful about developing so-called friendships with other so-called women on an internet site, unless they meet them and verify their identity and trustworthiness.

Email frendships involve risk because in personal conversations, women reveal such things as their full names, ages, where they live and work, how many kids they have, their relationship history, how they get on with their families and what their names are, how much they earn, etc...I could go on but the women here will know what I mean. We talk quite openly with women we trust. With all that information it is easy for a conman to phone your bank, give them all your details and even answer your 'security questions ' like your cat's name, mother's maiden name etc, and access your money. Or perpetrate identity fraud, which is one of the biggest problems on the net. Sad, but true. You won't help combat it by saying it doesn't happen. Internet dating sites are one of the big risks...women start up a friendship on a blog, and then settle down to long friendly emails where they exchange a lot of information. If a conman wants to exploit this, he sets himself up as an innocent, churchy, helpful, salt-of-the-earth female. People trust him, and he's away laughing. So what I'm saying is, be careful, especially of the woman who seems too-good-to-be-true. Virgil, you are a very nice bloke, and I hope you meet a lovely woman soon and get off the site, because I think you are too nice and trusting to last unscathed.

PS I'm very sorry to hear about the guy in Sydney. That woman ...I notice she did it with her boyfriend, so she didn't act alone... treated him dreadfully.

PPS What's with Northernlights? That quote is threatening...I would report the writer to RSVP and to the cops.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 26, 2008 7:30 PM

Pastor Virgil, you have reappeared, seemingly intact.
Perhaps you had been quietly catching up on some non fiction reading- it takes a few days to wade through Richard Dawkin's 'The God Delusion' or perhaps his 'The Devil's Chaplain'?
Cheers Marcus

waterbeetle at May 26, 2008 7:43 AM
There is a word for people who are suspicious of everything and everyone and detect hidden messages here and there. It is paranoid. There is a word for women who without reason, on hearsay and with no personal experience or evidence profer bad advice and denigrate men. It is misandrist. You are therefore a paranoid misandrist.
In my years on RSVP the only incident I have heard that made the media was a case in Sydney where a woman (non transvestite) was the perpetrator. She seduced a bloke, bondage tied him and she and her bf robbed the poor bugger. He was ropeable too, robbed and no shag.
Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 26, 2008 6:53 PM

Me too. J. The closest to reality, and that's just the words.

Posted by: timewarp1 at May 26, 2008 6:18 PM

I think that I like the NeuroticFish version myself:))

Posted by: istj54 at May 26, 2008 5:19 PM

yes Perth there was a short term person like that from the country, thought it was suss at the time but being a believing type let it slide. Really it makes you think what the world is coming too when you can't trust these hidden profile types.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 26, 2008 4:57 PM

I had a woman e-mail me a while ago and said she was a country girl who hid her profile because of all manner of reasons. We sent a few e-mails back and forth but she or whoever suddenly came out with all the most hateful comments about everyone on the site, absolutely shocking stuff. Anyway, I replied and said I didn't want to contact her any more as there were good and bad in all walks of life. She came back and said maybe it's just because she lives in the country and is a bit naive, but was not at all with her comments and stories and trying to provoke me into putting some of them on the site. Can't remember the username though but haven't heard from her again.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 26, 2008 4:11 PM

Players?
They are as varied as the games they play.

Posted by: abckenny at May 26, 2008 2:28 PM

WnW.. know where you're coming from.. A break is good anyway..I'm planning on one very soon.. As for your maybe??? Hmmm, methinks maybe you'll be nibbling away again before you know it!!! Good luck... Chat soon......"G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 26, 2008 2:07 PM

Hi G - yes, I'm well thanks. A lot of people seem to work on the principal of "once bitten, twice shy" ..... myself, I'm not sure, maybe.

Posted by: woodnwine at May 26, 2008 1:51 PM

Glove puppet
This is a false persona, and probably one of many, some here have been accused of being such, while some proudly state they have several (Marcus has mentioned 2 false personas, one being a female, and one being a 37? year old male.)

Lurker:

This is someone who reads the blogs, but never, or rarely contributes.

Player:

I am glad someone else needs a definition for this term, as it is not as commonly understood, as it may seem to some.

Cutting the grass:

This is an interesting term, sounds like from the military, where a man moves in on a partnered woman, and takes on household duties, and also in a work situation, where a person relieving in the position, conspicuously does a much better job than the incumbent.

Most of these terms were new to me, just recently, so I feel it is a very harsh criticism to criticise Miss Priss for not knowing the meaning of player.

Posted by: virgil at May 26, 2008 12:57 PM

Anyone like to invite a multiple personality multi-profiler to tea? There's plenty of choice here, by the look of it.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 25, 2008 9:43 PM

Waterbombe, its time to name names. There is a lot of talk on this site in blogs and profiles about honesty. I think it is absolutely dishonest to participate in blogs using a fictitious profile.

The motives of such a person are very questionable from at worst an intent to deceive for fraudulant purposes or to simply being a sicko/ loser/ wanker.

I have been participating in these blogs for only a few weeks and I do not know what some of the terms are. Perhaps you could define them for me and other bloggers.

Lurker?

Glove puppet?

Player? I think this is probably self evident but a definition would be useful.

thanks and rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at May 26, 2008 12:25 PM

WnW....I'm being a good girl... Posting very rarely these days... Some things just annoy, that's all.. I've had my say so I'm fine now.. You know me..I don't get mean!!! Hope you're well.. Cheers..."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 26, 2008 12:17 PM

Timewarp, maybe your radar is turned off at the moment......or not on the right channel.......K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 26, 2008 11:33 AM

What, FP you sat there and no one spoke to you??
Come on, why would you reference your attendance at a lunch to people commenting here ??
The fact that a few people here know each other and are friends (shock horror), is totally and utterly irrelevant.
Haven't you made friends from anyone here ??..
People make friends, FP, the fact that you are not one of those is immaterial to what gets posted here.
Let that go for heaven's sake surely you don't want to go down that path again boring as it was at the time....................K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 26, 2008 11:15 AM

Waterbombe

I notice you questioned MissPriss for not knowing what a Player was, now that was a question I asked on here a few months ago, as it is a term I was unfamiliar with.

Many varied answers came back, with much discussion, regarding what constitutes a player. Whether it is a sadistic bloke who enjoys the chase more than a steady relationship? Or a mysoginist, or whatever, but I certainly don't feel its appropriate for you to demean MissPriss or Adelaide because the definition of player is new to her.

I only knew because of asking the question here a few months ago.

Posted by: virgil at May 26, 2008 11:05 AM

The Lurkers could be con men themselves, Woodnwine...stranger things have happened...

Posted by: waterbombe at May 26, 2008 10:41 AM

Miss Priss

Welcome to the blogs, seems you have had some kind of initiation ceremony mainly from waterbombe.

I have taken a bit of a break from the blogs, to return and see you being hounded by waterbombe certainly came as a surprise, as I have always thought of her as being a fair and considerate person.

It is sad when kind and decent people are hounded from the blogs, for no fault of their own. These people often bring much joy to other bloggers, the first I can recall was Willow, then it was lonelyheart who was attacked, again for no reason.

Keep blogging, Miss Priss, Jacqui, there is room for all here, and your posts are a breath of fresh air.

Posted by: virgil at May 26, 2008 10:41 AM

grego i concur the password didnt work , and i for one would like to see a lady with that much wit and wisdom

Posted by: twoeyes at May 26, 2008 9:30 AM

its all good "G" she still doesn't accept that she wasn't liked nor wanted, and obviously has some serious issues............................

Posted by: twoeyes at May 26, 2008 8:40 AM

Come on everyone ..... what will all the lurkers think if you behave like this?

Posted by: woodnwine at May 26, 2008 8:38 AM

Just one more thing...according to my IT friend, the best kind of fake persona to attract trusting women is an apparently innocent, happy woman who is full of the joys of life and pure as the driven snow...women are attracted to friendships with really nice women like this...in real life this works well...the only problem with it on the internet is your 'happy innocent woman' can be a very successful con man in reality. Be careful.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 26, 2008 8:10 AM

WHOOPS. In my post on identity fraud below, it should have read
"intuition is NOT better than reason and evidence."

Posted by: waterbombe at May 26, 2008 7:47 AM

You know as well as I , Timewarp (and istj54) that these sites attract the Mr Svengalis...'puppeteers' who create many fake profiles (in lieu of friends, I suspect). You might think there is nothing wrong with that, but think further. These people are usually men, and they usually fake a woman's profile (so i am told by an IT friend who specialises in internet fraud). The 'woman' blogs for a while, attracts other women as a friend, and then they start emaling. Just because you email someone on RSVP does not make them genuine. Every separate profile has to have a separate email address, but they are easy to get free through hotmail, yahoo etc, so that is not a problem for your Mr Svengali, who has a lot of time on his hands due to the aforementioned lack of friends. Still, why is this a problem?...read on...

Emailing another woman for a while, a trusting woman is likely to reveal details about herself, unaware that she is revealing them to a man.The man gets some kind of sicko satisfaction from this. But the really worrying thing is that if the 'trusting' woman reveals enough, the man can commit identity fraud. We all need to be very aware of this; an internet site is not a place for automatic trust. People who say they are women may not be women. In short, internet con artists are often men posing as women.

Ladies, be very careful about apparent friendships with women...they are quite often men playing a sick game. I'm sure your intuition is generally quite good, but this is one place I agree with Marcus, intuition is better than reason and evidence. Watch out for the multiple profiles...as TW and I and others have hinted time and time again, we believe that they are on this site.

And if you are emailing a guy, don't reveal anything important about yourselves until you have met him AND checked out his background. A simple google check with the guys full name in speech marks can turn up negative stuff. (Try it for yourself, it's called a 'vanity check'). But don't conduct a romance on-line - you don't have any real idea who you are talking to. Just be careful, and you will be safe.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 26, 2008 7:43 AM

WB at 9.43pm: Not me thanks, Mrs Quinn.

I'm only into tea for two, and I like to be present as well as my guest.
................................................................

Just caught up on the last couple of days of this blog when I got home from night tennis, and now I see what several of my forensic friends have been emailing me about.

Does anyone remember Stan Freberg's 1950s funny record called St George and the Dragnet? It was on 'vintage comedy' on Radio Logan a few Sundays ago.

Voice of Jack Webb (the Yank cop in the TV show Dragnet) as St George has to apprehend a fire-breathing dragon, which has been devouring maidens out of season.

When he confronts the dragon and says he's taking him in on a 573 (Devouring Ms.out of S), the dragon makes a terrible fuss, so St George says he's also charging him with a 294.

"What's a 294?" roars the dragon, unnecessarily loud.

"Overacting" replies St George - fade to Dragnet theme.

Reckon we've seen a bit of that here, before and after WB's challenge at 2.40pm on the 24th.

Nina, you may live a long way from the big smoke, but your finger is certainly on the pulse - or was that trigger?

And bells rang when I read northernlights at 5:56am on May 25.

Lookit the time! Must snore now, to work tomarrow.

But first: friends, help me guess - who will be the Doberman's next target after MissPriscilla?

Posted by: timewarp1 at May 26, 2008 1:02 AM

FP @ 11.15am.. I don't usually buy into your comments when you make reference to the "group" of people that are friends off the blogs. Yes, you were present at one of the lunches and a lot of snide inuendos ensued between yourself and some of those present. I thought that was all dead and buried but for some strange reason you seem to delight in resurecting the subject from time to time.
What WB writes on here, quite frankly, has stuff all to do with the people who are friends off this site so why mention it?

You say these people live by their own rules (I would hope that we all do!) and you find them tiresome, etc, etc, etc.
WTF do any of us have to do with what's going on at the moment or is this just your way of trying to open Pandora's Box yet again??

Let it rest for godsake....."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 25, 2008 11:34 PM

Anyone like to invite a multiple personality multi-profiler to tea? There's plenty of choice here, by the look of it.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 25, 2008 9:43 PM

Grego7........we will be referred to as the Bobsy Twins soon...:-)
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 25, 2008 8:41 PM

Posted by: grego7 at May 25, 2008 7:43 PM

Thanks Grego! The photo password(s) are MissPriss (capitals and no spaces between) and for all those others still curious.... :-)

Cheers,

Miss Priss, Jacqui ("Queen of my Kitchen" today! lol).... man, I can't stop laughing....

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 25, 2008 8:21 PM

Posted by: bm1960 at May 25, 2008 7:31 PM

Thanks BM.... Yes, I was a bit flummoxed at first with the outrageously insane assumption from WB that I am actually a Drag Queen... aaaaah.. hahahaha, oops, sorry just fell off my chair from laughing myself silly again :-)... but even though I am a "girly girl" in some ways,I'm made of pretty tough mettle on the inside. Gawd, you need to be, blogging here.

Ciao, lovely chatting to you again,

Jac

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 25, 2008 7:52 PM

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 24, 2008 7:01 PM

Marcus, I simply turn the other cheek, have another go little boy.

grego

Posted by: grego7 at May 25, 2008 7:47 PM

Misspriss,

Well done on asserting yourself against a fairly vigorous level of attack.

Could not get your password to work but does not matter. Your profile reflects the sort of genuine and nice person that you are. Keep it up Jacqui.

rgds greg

Posted by: grego7 at May 25, 2008 7:43 PM

I am glad you are not put off by the initial rresponses you received here misspriss....It can be daunting, but you sound like you can look after yourself well enough....onya...
I am having some white wine but best stop soon cos of work tomorrow...:-(
I will send a kiss to all....just cos I want too....XXXXXXXXXXX
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 25, 2008 7:31 PM

Posted by: lovemuzik at May 25, 2008 5:52 PM

It made me chuckle lovemuzik! :-)
Miss P, Jac

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 25, 2008 7:14 PM

A little boy asked his mother, �How did the human race appear?�
His mother replied, �God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.

A few days later, the boy asked his father the same question. The father answered, �many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.�

The confused boy returned to his mother and said, �Mum, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said we developed from monkeys?�
The mother said, 'well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his!'

No the boy wasn't called Marcus. It's just a joke...

Posted by: firelightlady at May 25, 2008 7:14 PM

Sparkling Shiraz for me tonight Perth !(A Bleasdale or "bleez" as the ex and I called it, for a nice smooth drop!) :-).....

Yes BM, it's been savage in the trenches! Welcome back! Quick, get some more ammo loaded and make sure you have the safety vest on, the vitriol and sarcasm has been flying thick and fast from WB's way! lol... Ouffff... just got another snide remark caught in the back from WB! It's okay, I'm not bleeding.... :-)

Hope you have had a great weekend everyone!
Miss P,
Jacqui x (little mwa but don't tell WB as she might get offended again!)

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 25, 2008 7:07 PM

My goodness...seems I have a lot of reading to catch up on here...
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 25, 2008 6:42 PM

Posted by: istj54 at May 25, 2008 6:23 PM

Sure did! :-) (I'm not too good at telling jokes, hence my very pathetic attempt at sarcastic "humour" for want of a better description!) :-)

C'mon WB... We're waiting!!!! :-)

Miss P

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 25, 2008 6:39 PM

Note to self: Must not put myself down or make any sarcastic remarks or jokes directed at myself...does anyone else see the irony here?...or is it just me?

Posted by: istj54 at May 25, 2008 6:23 PM

...I forgot to mention the Irish donkey...Marcus asked, "Why the long face?"...the donkey whinied in the direction of the if this others and said..."Wouldn't you be lookin' koind of sad if this all you could manage to rustle up after nine years with the rspca?"

Posted by: istj54 at May 25, 2008 6:09 PM

istj54 at May 25, 2008 5:26 PM:

Hopefully Marcus wouldn't try and serve you any Green Ginger wine....

Posted by: symbiosis66 at May 25, 2008 6:07 PM

Gosh, in my previous post I nearly said "be funny but don't rely on putdowns or sarcasm to make your joke funny" but I deleted it. I should have left it in, obviously.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 25, 2008 6:07 PM

a shrivelled up old lady in her fifties, what !!! where have you been drinking, or are you blind.........and I'll have a rum and coke thanks.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 25, 2008 6:04 PM

For anyone who missed it, my previous post was a joke. Ha. Ha.

Get it? "Stick your challenge in your water bomb, Waterbombe?"

It's funny. It is. To me, it is.

But for me that's enough joking for one day. I can't laugh any more.

Happy blogging!

Posted by: lovemuzik at May 25, 2008 5:52 PM

Posted by: iaminperth at May 25, 2008 5:09 PM

Thanks again Perth :-). Will definitely be mindful of divulging any personal info.Btw, loved the pickie of your doggie. I have 2 Griffon Brussells (dog in the movie "As good as it Gets") and love em' to bits.Might put a photo of them on my profile shortly, very cute and a tad over indulged.

WB, right back at ya! :-) I think if "open-heart" surgery was performed on you there wouldn't be anything there to find!

Priss

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 25, 2008 5:40 PM

...a catholic, a nun, a collingwood supporter and a shriveled up old lady in her fifties walked into a bar...and behind the bar was Marcus..."What would you like to drink istj54? he asked...

Posted by: istj54 at May 25, 2008 5:26 PM

WB, I think you should open that invitation up to all the bloggers - I could use a good laugh!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at May 25, 2008 5:22 PM

WB. I know what you're trying to do. Why don't you stick your challenge in your water bomb?

Happy Blogging!

Posted by: lovemuzik at May 25, 2008 5:20 PM

Ok, here's a challenge to Lovemusik, Femalepersuasion, MissPriss and TW....say something funny. Something that genuinely makes us all laugh.
That way this blog will liven up quicksmart.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 25, 2008 5:12 PM

Take no notice Priss, just keep blogging if you enjoy it. I'm not sure what is going on at all as TW says that I don't exist. I think if I were going to be an alter ego though on a blog site I would pick a younger photo from the multitude on the internet at the moment and I can't see the point of it at all. Sometimes no matter what the subjects are all that is said goes around and around about who is real and who is not. All of a sudden Marcus pops up and throws a spanner in the works, otherwise the blogs would just die. I'm not quite sure why this happens, power I think, although how one derives power from tapping on a keyboard is beyond me. However, everyone to their own. Just don't give too much personal information away I think. Tw jumps up and down and makes his outrageous accusations when he can't think of an answer for something he has been asked, rather like the government inventing a drama to cover some snivvelling indiscretion.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 25, 2008 5:09 PM

Hmmm, I hadn't realised nuns are Collingwood supporters, there's food for thought..Is there a connection between religion and footy? I think so. I thought Nathan Buckley was God, actually. I'm so sad God retired.

Guys, the only people who decide who posts on the blogs are the moderators. That's it. It doesn't matter if you have a hidden or open profile or are in a relationship or not in one. The rules are set by the RSVP moderators and we can't change them to suit ourselves.

No-one "demands" anything of anyone on here either....don't be silly, FP, a blog is easier to ignore than the TV. You just don't read it. Or else you read it and forget about it. Easy. Don't take it all so seriously.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 25, 2008 4:55 PM

Message to femalepersuasion at May 25, 2008 11:15 AM

Thank you for your words of support. I really appreciated them. You were of course right about my post getting a reaction from WB.

But her comment wasn't as bad as I thought. She questioned my definition of 'deviant' but if she's waiting for me to counterattack her definition and defend mine, she'll be waiting a long time. I don't want to go there. What for?

I'm beginning to think that these blogs are merely tools for us RSVP account holders to discuss our issues and problems with being single. The topic of the blog seems to remain just a lose thread in which we hang our comments and opinions. Many times I've browsed through these blogs and found little discussion of the subject of the blog. I'm beginning to conclude that maybe it's how it's how it's supposed to be.

Happy blogging!

Posted by: lovemuzik at May 25, 2008 4:45 PM

Posted by: femalepersuasion at May 25, 2008 11:15 AM

Well said FP! My thoughts precisely!

Miss P.

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 25, 2008 4:42 PM

This is not a message to anyone in particular. It's just something I need to say here.

One, the thing I like about these blogs is that you can type up just about anything and it gets posted.

Two, the thing I dislike most about these blogs is that you can type up just about anything and it gets posted.

Happy blogging!

Posted by: lovemuzik at May 25, 2008 3:43 PM

There is absolutely nothing wrong with Collingwood supporters...except maybe to a few Geelong ones this weekend...they are now a new breed...the rough and tumble, no teeth roughians have given way to a sleek, new, sophisticated, intelligent type of supporter....much like myself...but on these blogs my type is much maligned, day after day, endlessly as I am a Collingwood supporter, Catholic and in my fifties...OMG what hope have I got? not much, going by some bloggers comments...away with me to the nunnery methinks...good idea...I can always wear black and white:))

Posted by: istj54 at May 25, 2008 3:42 PM

Oh, come on, Lovemusik, if you really think throwing water bombs is deviant, motor down to your local red light district on a Saturday night. (But don't tell the other Boy Scouts you are going; that could have serious consequences for an innocent young thing like you.)

Grego, I'm with you over the Collingwood supporters - apparently they tried to have all TV monitors at the MCG broadcast only in black and white.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 25, 2008 12:16 PM

I decided to put on my profile that if they initiated the kiss, they contact me and if I initiate, I'll write - hmmm the number of kisses I received dropped a bit *laugh*.

To amdoingit :- thanks but I prefer to stay out of minefields, unless I'm feeling brave and have a poker with me. I'll just stay on the sidelines when things get too explosive.

Posted by: rustiknight at May 25, 2008 11:59 AM

Sesquipedalian (love the name BTW) has unfortunately given the spelling police carte blanche... Pls let's not have endless spelling corrections, I think we all get the point of the post.

The thought of a religion blog sends me reaching for the Sauv Blanc... but maybe it would get it off here. None of the religions have done anything but battle for millennia, a few blogs will not sort out it out.
Back on subject - please? : -))

Posted by: firelightlady at May 25, 2008 11:37 AM

Lovemuzik: your post today @ 9.52

I agree with your comments and good on you for saying so. There are others that feel the same as you but are reluctant to voice their opinions for fear of the bullying behaviour that ensues.

She is part of a group that know each other outside these blogs, and whilst I am pleased people meet and make friends through blogging, I believe that this does not give them the right to demand others prove they are "not fake", whilst they can have hidden profiles and photos because so & so can verify who they are. They also live by their own rule -that they can blog even though they are in relationships- that is their right- but people who have genuine profiles and photos on view are constantly expected to prove who they.
I find these people tiresome and boring on the blogs. I have also met some of them in person and my experience was that they did not have the courage to say anything directly to my face. They are actually quite cowardly in my opinion.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at May 25, 2008 11:15 AM

Marcus and his 'deviants' however could have a blog of their own...lol.
Posted by: firelightlady at May 25, 2008 12:37 AM

Firelightlady, I'm assuming out of his 'deviants' you're including Waterbombe. If so, then I totally agree with you. (But I think it would be a blog I'm sure I wouldn't read. The snide remarks to one another would wear thin after a while.) Even her name username "waterbombe" suggests deviance. I can't help but think of the water bombs that a deviant prebubescent boy throws at another as a practical joke.

If I thought like her (and I believed in writing every silly stupid thing that came into my head), I'd probably write the following as a post:

"Stop everything Waterbombe! I don't believe a word you say! You're not really a woman. You're really an immature ten year old boy waiting on the sidelines with his water bomb playing us all for fools."

But of course, I don't think like her. So I would never say that. Seriously.

And before anyone says anything, the answer is 'no'. This post is in no way related to the fact that she has previously suspected me of being a RSVP staff member. God no! Nothing to do with it.

Happy blogging!

Posted by: lovemuzik at May 25, 2008 9:52 AM

Crikey I'm just plum tuckered out from readin' all them words MissPriss writ fer us....hell, I doan give a jimminy if she's a fella in wimmins clothes...that old timer Warped reckins that Perth does it too...do your thang, gals...

OG, mi(s)andrist, now m(i)sog(y)nist, you really are becoming sesquipedalian. What next? An open mind?

Posted by: waterbombe at May 25, 2008 9:19 AM

Miss Priss

Isn’t that a reference to Priscilla Queen of the Desert, who, she tells me, is off on her 10th pilgrimage to The Rock.

You certainly don’t appear to be Nisi Prius. Lol. Or was that LOL. No, it was L0L. Netspeak. Gobble gobble.

Posted by: northernlights at May 25, 2008 5:56 AM

WB, correct spelling is actually palaver... just a word for idle chit chat...

Nina, that went right over the head love?? Cough, splutter!!!

Grego... What's wrong with Collingwood supporters? You may have had a bad experience sweet pea but a word of advice (applicable to life situations in general), don't judge all by the actions of one (maybe some??)

Rustik, your grievances are the same as those of many on this site and are echoed frequently. Don't feel guilty, vent away... And...welcome to the wonderful minefield of RSVP. It's a experience...Hmmmm. For the record, most of us agree that he/she who instigates the contact does pay for the stamp so you're spot on.. :-))

Cheers all.... "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 25, 2008 1:23 AM

Hi Rustiknight - general consensus amongst male friends if the 'lady' sends the kiss she should also supply the stamp and vice versa. It is a fact of life that sometimes they don't get replied to. If I like someone on a stamp reply I will email and quite often these get totally ignored despite stamp and password exchange before - could name names but won't, just watch out for northern New South Wales males! lol

I tend to use my remaining stamps for contacting blog participants who want to talk off-line. I am relying on Coles / the beach / Bunnings for actually meeting single men - seems to work!

WB pls leave the misspris thing alone it is a little tedious to read... Marcus and his 'deviants' however could have a blog of their own... lol

Posted by: firelightlady at May 25, 2008 12:37 AM

WB, "palaver" - as in "hell of a pallaver" - (profuse discussion). No stopping me since I learnt that sesquipedalian word!

Posted by: malsie at May 24, 2008 11:05 PM

True colours are being shown by the miandrist now turned mysogonist too. It is showing Marcus up as a gentle person.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 24, 2008 10:47 PM

Thank you Perth! I appreciate your words.Yes, I am at a bit of a loss as to how the blogs have transpired over the last 24 hours. But, "What goes around comes around" eventually.....
Yes, it has made me wonder why I've ever bothered to blog here now. (I also enjoy your blogs too Perth).

From now on I will just ignore those that love to incite or try to insult and only blog with those of us who are here for the right reasons........

Good night,

Miss Priss.

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 24, 2008 9:58 PM

Perth, this is a blog, the only sharks on here are paper ones. I am as much danger to MissPriss as an origami shark.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 24, 2008 9:44 PM

WB You seem to be stalking Priss like a shark...for what reason, she hasn't really said anything, has provided a password for her profile and so what if she has been on here before, sounds like heaps of people have. You, on the other hand don't even have a profile displayed. If she choses to use a username you consider inappropriate, get over it, it doesn't matter.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 24, 2008 9:28 PM

WB...I see nothing wrong in changing names..or having no picture...or indeed having multiple profiles...to attract different types...I haven't but I've heard it suggested...I was just asking why you were bothering when you said you didn't care...and if the person is genuine then your comments weren't that "nice" to a newcomer who was being friendly and caring....kind of puts people off blogging....not me though:))

Posted by: istj54 at May 24, 2008 9:27 PM

"Palava"...what's palava when it's at home....does anyone know?

Posted by: waterbombe at May 24, 2008 9:06 PM

Sorry - my last post should have gone to "Can You Be Friends with Your Ex?"

Posted by: ynotalice at May 24, 2008 8:59 PM

WB, I have only just returned to RSVP in the last few months (March 08), having been in a serious, monogamous relationship for just under 12 months,during which time my profile wasn't active. I changed my profile name of Secretary1 to MissPriss01. That is it! No other profile names. I am an honest decent person and don't appreciate being labelled something I'm not. especially when it is completely unfounded! End of story and palava!

Cheers and have a great night!

Miss Priss

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 24, 2008 8:58 PM

That's a really good explanation of the difference, ynotalice. You can be friendly for the sake of the kids without having your ex as a friend for yourself.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 24, 2008 8:58 PM

MissPriss, you had never heard of "players" until you joined RSVP? Come on. Even a sec'y from Adelaide can't be that disingenuous.

And you work in a private or a religious school I take it?

Posted by: waterbombe at May 24, 2008 8:47 PM

I think this has been summed up pretty early on for me, the difference between being a friend and friendly being the salient question.

As with most people when my ex and I split I made every attempt to keep things civil for the sake of the kids. They were experiencing enough without having us make an already bad situation worse by continuing the behaviours that had been symptoms of the demise of the relationship.

Time and distance from each other has seen us get to the point where we can now interact in a friendly manner. However that doesn�t really mean that we are now friends, as I don�t think that the basis for a friendship can be retrieved. To me a true friend is someone with whom you can immediately pick up after not seeing each other for a time, where there are no boundaries to what they can ask of you or vice versa (I don�t even think a friend has to ask!), and no conditions placed on the friendship. After the breakdown of such an intimate relationship can you ever really trust the other person to that degree again? Despite going through the process of finding what part each of us played in the demise, learning from these, and well and truly moving on with life, I really don�t think that I would be able to trust my ex to the degree that I would ever really consider her a true friend again. I am happy to have friendly but not necessarily friend.

Posted by: ynotalice at May 24, 2008 8:46 PM

Ah, Marcus, this is gold: "A group who regularly claim to talk to someone who died 2 thousand years and now claim this person lives inside bread are obviously deviant and quite able to say that a person is a particular religion because of a water sprinkle".

Istj, I spent about 10 mins wondering about MissPriss, and about 5 blogging about it (including this post). Call me SpeedyBombe.

But hang on...aren't you doing a bit of a u-turn here ? you've been called lailaj, lorrainer, etc...I can't remember them all now. When you first appeared as istj54 we all asked you about the possibility of you having been on the blogs before under a different name and you categorically denied it fr ages...remember? Why wouldn't MissPriss be doing what you did? It doesn't do much harm, but I'm surprised you think it is unusual behaviour.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 24, 2008 8:43 PM

Thank you SO much Ninaschen & ISTJ for your lovely words! ISTJ I believe that the teachers have a much harder job than myself - I was asked to take a cooking lesson a few weeks ago for one of our yr 4/5 classes - only for about an hour and oh my goodness I take my hat off to you :-)!

I sometimes come across as a bit of a "polyanna" (having read back my silly posts from last night, yoicks!) but I have had my fair share of tragedy and "hell on earth" life-experiences too as many others blogging here have (esp in my last 7 or so years). I am in a really happy and great place in my life at the moment (and not going to let anyone's words ruin that!) and also feel that when we generate this type of positive energy we bring good things into our life and hopefully into others! It's funny, I have had similar reactions from people in real life when I am trying to be nice - it is really sad that so many of us are very suspicious and mistrusting, due to negative or horrible experiences inflicted upon us by the "players" (what a horrible expression - I had never heard of it until I joined RSVP!) or "bad" people in this world.
But I must admit I have taken a bit of a dent in the confidence department after the comments from WB (although not mortally wounded WB :-)!).

I guess I've shown that it doesn't always pan out well when one is being open or light-hearted! :-). Lamb to the slaughter lol!!!

Never mind, "it's only words" as the Bee Gees sang once, lol!

Ciao for now,

Miss Priss, Jac

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 24, 2008 8:23 PM

MissPriss...I like your pictures and profile...I had an ex who used to call me Miss Prissy...and I am a teacher so I know how hard you work and how valued you would be too:))
Some people here just can't get their heads around "nice."

Posted by: istj54 at May 24, 2008 7:17 PM

WB et al...so why do you spend so much energy wondering?...MissPriss is most likely exactly who she says she is and is now left wondering why she is being treated with suspicion...not nice...I know:))

Posted by: istj54 at May 24, 2008 7:10 PM

grego7 at May 23, 2008 9:24 PM

Grego. Another one of your infamous back flips, on religion rather than childless women or women's beauty, or necessary ones on kid's intuition or bigotry in Northern Ireland. Karma Sutra Grego: likely to have a variety of convenient positions on any topic.

Seriously you cannot credibly say "I gave up the religion of my birth (Catholcism) at 15 becuase their stance could not be justified on any rational basis" then invoke chuch doctrine about Baptism being the defining moment to try and score a logical point.

A group who regularly claim to talk to some who died 2 thousand years and now claim this person lives inside bread are obviously deviant and quite able to say that a person is a particular religion because of a water sprinkle. The fact is you cannot be a religion just because someone else says it.

Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 24, 2008 7:01 PM

LOL - I've just logged on and I can't believe Waterbombe's comments! Sorry to disappoint you Waterbombe but I am very much female - just a girly girl I guess. I was actually being really silly - I'd had a great day at work and was quite chirpy and having just a bit of fun - there are so many "sad sally's" (oh no, WB is going to jump on me for this comment now! lol) on this blogging page so thought I'd stir you all up lol! Sorry if my silly sense of humour has offended or upset you! I lknow you are trying to get a bite from me lol!Luckily I don't take offence to comments like that
:-). (Oh yes, I've heard the comments about Adelaide all before too- always from eastern-staters - bring it on, I love it!)
I am very much an effective and efficient school secretary and when it comes to my job very professional as well!!! I don't need to justify this to anyone but myself!
To be honest, the reason I put my dress size (for want of a better description in case you still think I am a drag queen - OMG, I can't stop laughing :-)!) is because of a recent experience with the ex boyfriend (hence one of the many reasons he is now an ex!!) - he was very focused on (my) body image and thought that even at my height and weight I was overweight (of which I am not!) so a bit of paranoia had set in. I have been considering removing it (and so now will thanks to Waterbombe's comments lol).

This is me,Jacqui, a girly girl ("Miss Priss" is actually an old nickname from the ex-boyfriend because my home has alot of "girly" furnishings, curtains etc) nothing suss at all! I thought I'd make my profile visible last night so you would all know who you are blogging with and that I am bona fide and not an imaginary profile as some may now think.
Thank you BM1960 for your words of support, I sense that you are a very decent and lovely person and "got" my silliness last night, hence my intuition is correct).

ps my photo password is "MissPriss" if anyone is still doubting my authenticity.Thanks WB, you've probably scared off a decent prospective boyfriend for me now lol!

pps why are you called "Waterbombe" - cripes, Miss Priss is just a profile nickname too. lol
I must say a big thank you to WB, as you have generated a great laugh for me too and appreciate your sense of humour! I do actually enjoy your posts - very wicked and such a pot-stirrer! Keep up the good work and great laughs! :-)

Have a great night everyone (I won't blow a kiss this time in case I offend lol!)

"Miss Priss", J.

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 24, 2008 6:48 PM

I agree, B, each to their own...and of course we will never know the truth anyway. That's the thing about internet blogging. So it's not worth a lot of energy wondering if someone is real or not.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 24, 2008 5:57 PM

waterbombe @ 3.50pm...

Justsaying, nor do I..

Posted by: decoratress at May 24, 2008 5:42 PM

Cranky franky here again...supposedly signed in for the 10th flamin time.....
Anyway, I call myself Miss Priss when I am being old-fashioned or pedantic....tongue in cheek though....it is an old expression used often in my world. Yes, I am somewhat cynical and jaded, but, for some reason, I don't doubt the sincerity of Misspriss's profile. I do respect that everyone is entitled to interpret their own way.
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 24, 2008 4:24 PM

Oh, a combination of things...the name..Miss Priss (Prissy)...very few women on a dating site would call themselves a name that could be read as prissy ...all the "oh, you lovely gorgeous people, I just love you all to death!!!" "Mwah!! to you all" stuff...that's a bit suss....not very real....sounds like some of my gay friends' friends, the ones who are drag queens...(btw I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a drag queen, good on you guys)....the "I'm a poor little old tiny school sec'y... I'm so insignificant"..again, not real...school sec'ys are powerful people in fact although not in name, which you'd know if you'd been one...and then the profile...all the "I'm a lady" stuff...."I keep myself to a size 12" ... how many women would write that? ....hmmm... Miss Priss does come from Adelaide so maybe it's all true, but I smell a rat. If you were bloke who wanted to suck people in by pretending to be a woman, this is one way to go...all ladylike, innocent, happy, full of the joys of life...who would suspect? But I've been on this site for a while and have seen many multiple profilers. Nothing wrong with it, I don't care, it's all a bit of a game on a blog anyway. I just don't quite buy this one.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 24, 2008 3:50 PM

Waterbombe...a genuine question here, not having a go....how did you come to the conclusion that you think Misspriss is a bloke??? I can't see any reason to doubt Misspriss's profile and comments...
Cheers,
B.
PS...if this thing says I am not signed in one more time (it has done at least 6 times in the past 5 minutes) I am going to be a cranky franky!!!!

Posted by: bm1960 at May 24, 2008 3:18 PM

rustiknight if a woman insists you pay for the first email even though she sent the first kiss, she's a bit "precious" to my mind. If I was a bloke I wouldn't be that interested in her. This is an egalitarian age...ok I know women get paid 3/4 of what guys do, still, but we are just talking about a $7 stamp here. You can pay more when you buy a house together if the relationship works out. I don't think you're cranky, I think it sounds as if you do your share and get a bit annoyed when others don't...that seems reasonable to me.

Misspriss01, you don't moonlight as a drag queen do you? You certainly sound like one. What I'm saying is, I think you're a bloke dressed up like a woman...but that's just my intuition speaking.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 24, 2008 2:40 PM

Probably a tad off topic here (what was the topic again?) but interested to read what others think. From time to time I might receive a share of kisses (I feel silly calling them that *laugh*) now, I reply to all of them but rarely hear back. I expect some have valid reasons, others might forget or decide not to write and some just don�t want to buy stamps, it�s these ones I have a little issue with.

If I send a �Kiss� and receive a positive reply, I�ll buy stamps to make contact, no point otherwise, but I also think that someone shouldn�t come onto a site like RSVP and expect others to purchase stamps to contact them � maybe I�m outta touch and it�s an accepted practice but I think that if I make contact, I buy the stamp and vica versa (this excludes those who are here to blog only of course).

I�m also seeing quite a bit on profiles, statements like �I don�t have stamps and won�t buy stamps� yet I get kisses from them. I�ve stopped replying to anyone with a statement like that on their profile, maybe I�m being cranky.

I�m not a miser, I think I�m helping keep RSVP afloat with what I spend (oh crap that doesn�t make me sound all that crash hot now does it � Rustiknight, serial dater *laugh*) I�m also peeved at those who send a kiss and if I did buy a stamp and reply, never hear from them again, and that happens a lot. I can put some if it down to �ok they didn�t like my initial email� but a simple reply would have been nice manners.

Ok finished my bleeting for today.

Posted by: rustiknight at May 24, 2008 6:17 AM

Nighty Night - I'm plum tuckered out now! It's been an absolute pleasure chatting to you all. Hope to do so again soon :-)

OG, yes it was Barb that said that! :-)

Buona Notte,
Mwa (kiss) to you all!

Miss Priss... Jacqui

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 24, 2008 12:00 AM

Grgo,
It was Barbara who told miss that if you will check back a bit tonight, credit where its due.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 23, 2008 11:17 PM

Oh, and I also feel very loved by the teachers too! Must not forget these gorgeous people too ! :-)
Regards

Miss Priss...

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 23, 2008 11:05 PM

Any Irishwoman who has learnt any lesson should not comment, yet again,in a topic about religion...but I can't help myself....I was baptised. The catholic church can say what it wants and have dogmas galore....I have a better principle and conscience than they ever had. They may have baptised me as a catholic, but I am a Barbara.
Sorry if I offend anyone with deep beliefs, but I have been scarred since I was 11 because of religious war and I usually keep it under wraps but this thread has brought it out in me....
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 23, 2008 10:47 PM

Oh Grego that is SO sad! :-( (And I was feeling so "chipper" this evening too!)That poor lady (and even more so dear dear child!) having to endure such a traumatic and heart-breaking experience. Poor little mite (and poor parents. That would be one of the worst things to live through, losing your child. I can't begin to imagine how the parents must have felt and dealt with such an earth-shattering event).

Thank you for the kind words AuntyKaz (and Grego) - yes, I absolutely adore and love my job. I feel very blessed and so lucky to be part of such a wonderfully close knit and loving community and also feel very loved and cherished by the families and students.
I go home almost everyday with a smile or chuckle because of the gorgeous things the kids say or do, lol...Except when they get injured or sick :-( . Yes, I do take pride in my job and am so grateful to actually wake everyday and look forward to going to work.

Kindest regards,

Miss Priss...
Jacqui

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 23, 2008 10:39 PM

Misspriss 8.02pm

I endorse Rustinight"s comment. You are never an "only"

May I relate a rather sad story from my childrens primary school that happened about 10 years ago. The school secretary was a wonderful person and one day one of the preppies took ill in the playground. The child died in her arms.

It turned out that the little girl had some very severe heart weakness and it was only a matter of time before it let go. The parents knew this but tried to give her as normal life as possible.

I was going through a very depressing part of my life then and would gladly have swapped situations with that little girl. But it was a wake up call that one should take the life that we are given and do the best we can.

The school secretary was much loved by students, teachers and parents and was ( dont know if she is still there) the soul of the school.

I suspect you also a key part of your school.

On a lighter note, pls send some warm weather east. It was the coldest May morning for 27 years this morning. rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at May 23, 2008 9:41 PM

Marcus 7.43 PM

The catholic church"s dogma is clear and unequivocal. Once a person is baptised they are thence and forever a catholic . Irrespective of whether the person can comprehend or not.

A person baptised as an infant may on growing up say they dont or never believed that faith. That is their right, however, the church would maintain that the person was still a member of the church.

I do not have any point of wiew on this doctrine.

Your arguement is therefore fallacious and quite irrelevant. rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at May 23, 2008 9:24 PM

LOL, Cheers to you too BM! Enjoy your white wine - I actually wish I had a glass of red here but the wine cabinet (aka kitchen pantry lol) is looking a tad sad and empty - need a re-stock ASAP! Lol.
Awww, thanks,you say the nicest thangs.

Kindest regards,
Miss Priss (with a slurp of tea!)

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 23, 2008 9:20 PM

Hey, misspriss, only a school secretary??
smack smack, girl !!

Take pride in your job, and what you do.You help make a school run effectively, part of a team that works behind the scenes.
Like me saying, "yeah l'm a nurse, but l only look after old people"
We all have our niche whatever that is.

Cheers with a just made Jamaican coffee, l am learning and improving every day with my espresso thingy..........K.

Posted by: auntykaz at May 23, 2008 9:14 PM

Cheers with a glass of white, misspriss and everyone here...and may I say that I reckon the use of the word only (as how you described yourself as 'only' a school secretary) should be reserved for when counting....
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 23, 2008 8:31 PM

Rustiknight - I meant to add that I liked your post. I have some insight into your experience but cannot say I know how you feel as I haven't been there. Best of luck on here.

It is good to hear that you feel open to the next step. Being open-hearted has never led me too far astray. You live in a beautiful part of the world, I once lived a while in Point Lonsdale and loved the rose farm and then winery on the road from Geelong to home...

Scotchman's Hill?? The traffic cops were a thorough going bane though! lol

Posted by: firelightlady at May 23, 2008 8:18 PM

Thank you firelightlady, I appreciate your kind words! I'm only a school secretary but I do feel that to a certain extent my role within our school does have an important impact on every student and hope that I am contributing positively in some small way to their emotional and psychological wellbeing.

Love your posts too Firelight - you sound like a wonderfully wise and sage person. :-)

Lots of loveth and smiles to all you wonderful bloggers out there :-) - I'm having a nice cup of hot english breakfast tea on a coldish night here in Adelaide!

Kindes regards,
Miss Priss, J....

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 23, 2008 8:02 PM

grego7 at May 23, 2008 2:36 PM
I might be a pedant. You are being imprecise. Because some one has some water splashed over, and nonsense words said to them, does not make for anything. You can only be of a particular belief system when you are aware enough of aspects of it to appreciate them. This is from about 3 years of age.
Islam has it that all are born Muslims and we must come back to that most intolerant and illogical of religions.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 23, 2008 7:43 PM

Thank you for all the kind comments.
Just to clarify the churches' (all kinds) influence in Africa is extraordinary and has to be experienced to be believed.

Also the existing animism, tribal or witch doctoring beliefs are equally firmly held. In desperation Christianity in whatever form merely adds to the equation and often outlaws traditional contraceptive practices (condoms aren't only made by Ansell and from latex or silicone!), and so long standing practise is also outlawed. 'Candy-wrapping' is not new, resistance to it and free procreation in line with western standards is.

I recently considered these standards when a putative parent told me that their Baby Bonus was going to buy a plasma TV for Christmas and miscarriage would therefore be 'harsh'...

China is a very different matter. The venereologist who produced their HIV stats at the Geneva conference 6+ years ago has been incarcerated ever since. Suffice to say on his figures the population growth there will not be such a problem unless they all fall over at the same moment...

Grego - my profile changes from time to time, please feel free to keep checking it out, there will be more photos when I finally get broadband at home (I have goannas but no ADSL/ BB) as well as at work - lol.

Posted by: firelightlady at May 23, 2008 7:34 PM

OG re AIDs Africa

I have some agreement with you, however, the influence of the churches in Africa is significant and if they were to come out categorically endorsing condoms there would be a massive reduction in the disease.

Barbara,

I am glad your family came to OZ. There can never be too many Irish here whether from the North or South. This July is the 150th anniversary of my great grandfather arriving in Australia. His original farm and house are still in the family. He brought an acorn from Ireland and the tree still stands over the well he dug.

I was reading recently of how Northern Ireland is developing which is very good and it apears that religious intolerance has almost withered away now.

I have to say though there is one group in Australia that can never be tolerated and they are Collingwood supporters. grego

Posted by: grego7 at May 23, 2008 5:42 PM

I was born and bred in Northern Ireland, near Belfast...due to religious intolerance and bigotry which created violence and civil unrest amongst countymen, my family moved to Australia. I respect those who practice religion, however have no time for it myself as it has sent my family to all corners of the earth. (I love being an Australian, but sometimes wonder what it would have been like to have stayed there).
My conscience is my belief system.
Blimey, I should know better than to comment on religion or politics, but hey, it is in my genes!!!!
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 23, 2008 4:48 PM

Amber @ 10.15 am
Back when, I remember the slogan "populate or perish" so most of us loyalists did, every chance we got.
But the religons cannot take all the blame for the aids epedemic in Africa. The African males attitude is the biggest single factor in the spread of AIDS, the common saying is that he "does not like having his candy wrapped" is the biggest cause and not because the condoms are not available or to dear. It will be interesting to see how this will come to bear on other countries with the same problem, China is now concerned with the problem as are a lot of middle eastern countries that claim not to be promiscous because of their religon, and they have never been romantically tolerant, or even open hearted. As always it is the innocents that suffer the most.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 23, 2008 3:35 PM

Grego, Marcus,
At 12 I found out that the preaching, most often was that not practiced. Because of my limited experience I could only assess the Christian side of it, but remember well the fury between the Cats and the Prots, it pervaded all aspects of life at that age. Nothing much seems to have change in the intervening years except it now seems to involve all the religons in mutual suspicion and dislike, add bigotry to that.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 23, 2008 3:20 PM

Marcus, your post of 12.53 pm

Yes you are absolutely correct in the exact meaning of the words although a little pedantic.

Strictly speaking one becomes a catholic as soon as one is baptised. This usually occurs at about 6 or 7 weeks.

My dear mother, God love her, used to do her own baptisms on every baby she came across just in case it died. So I reckon with some confidence that I would have been
baptised within hours or even minutes of my birth.

So religion of my birth is not far off the mark. rgds grego

Posted by: grego7 at May 23, 2008 2:36 PM

grego7 May 23, 2008 11:29 AM

You wrote:
"I gave up the religion of my birth at 15 because their stance could not be justified on any rational basis."
I started thinking hard about it at around the same age. The Christian Television Association adds would usually suggest that something bad would happen if you did not take the hand of Jesus.

I don't think you can rationally argue that people are born as any religion. We are born as babies and those unfortunates are religiously indoctrinated, mainly by parents, who probably themselves were indoctrinated.
Almost all religion is transmitted by being born into a religious family. Very little is by horizontal infection.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 23, 2008 12:53 PM

Posted by: firelightlady at May 23, 2008 8:37 AM

Firelight, your post was insightful and compassionate and has credibility because of your experience. I have never understood the anticontraception views of some religions and indeed was why I gave up the religion of my birth at 15 becuase their stance could not be justified on any rational basis.

As a lover of classics both feminine and automotive, I read your profile with rapture and it is a great example of why reading a profile is more important than seeing a picture.

Your post yesterday and profile indicates you are a person of beauty now and when you are 52 or 102. I have been getting a hammering from some bloggers because my view on the physical appearance in general of women over 50 vs say 25.

Forgive me if I occasionally revisit your profile just to read it again.

I hope that you get a "driver" with the intelligence , skill and finesse that you deserve. grego

Posted by: grego7 at May 23, 2008 11:29 AM

Posted by: oldergent at May 22, 2008 10:15 PM
Ogre, if you are referring to Warped and Larfs and Barfs, we do not want to "soften their outlook". If we did want that, we would just dust them with talcum powder.
No, we want them to think more clearly; more logically, more consistently, without contradiction, and without the emotion that so often clouds their judgment. They are both disappointed in women, poor things, and that disappointment fuels their dislike of women. They do not seem to be able to get past that to construct their points in a clear, convincing, respectful, entertaining manner. So often they resort to name-calling and insults. I am not suprised neither has had much success on this site...just what they post on the blogs is warning enough to all the women who read them.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 23, 2008 10:30 AM

Yes, Firelight, I agree with WB. You have a lovely attitude to life.

I also agree with Marcus, Kaz, Firelight and others (although I did my bit to overpopulate the world!)
I cannot get over the attitude that some aid groups have where condoms are discouraged, even in places such as Africa where AIDS is rampant, and a condom is the only protection that people have to try to avoid it.
No expensive and "flash" life-saving drugs for those people, just millions of people infected with AIDS and millions of children left as orphans!
Not a helpful attitude at all.

Posted by: amberlight58 at May 23, 2008 10:15 AM

Firelight, I think you're a wonderful person.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 23, 2008 9:45 AM

Random acts of kindness is a lovely way of life providing it is done from 'selfullness' - giving from a heart that is full enough to give without need for return rather from than 'selflessness' - giving from a heart that has not enough in it and is looking for reciprocation in some nebulous and rarely articulated way.

I agree with Marcus (yes I know this is going to be radical) with regard to third world children and their adoption into western society. I understand the motives and the desire for people to undertake this, however if the food aid programs supplied contraception and education with their nutrition sacks and did something about the endemic corruption, the problem would be a more tenable.
Yes I have worked in aid programs in refugee camps and seen first hand babies conceived in appalling conditions (the camps), delivered in appalling conditions and then starve. As long as some aid programs continue with their current stance on contraception there will be no improvement. Some agencies do a great job. Others bring their religious beliefs with the rice and benefit none, merely add another layer of mysticism to the existing belief system.

I would also add that where as the 'celebrity adoptions' are conducted with full medical testing etc., it is allegedly not as transparent for many other children.

There are plenty of children in Australia needing help, fostering and adoption. Sadly it is made very hard to achieve this. There are children living in cars and shelters (bus shelters) on their own in this city, less than 2 kilometres from millionaires row.

Misspriss keep up the good work with your 400+ children, know that it is appreciated!

Posted by: firelightlady at May 23, 2008 8:37 AM

Kaz you know what I meant, I know that the women are looking for any means to soften the outlook of the twins, though I do not see them posting as much, unfortunately.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 22, 2008 10:15 PM

Ah, OG, come on.....you know we like a pleasant word far more than an aggro one....
Maybe it depends on the response you are after :-)..................K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 22, 2008 12:54 PM

Firstly, thank you to everyone who welcomed me.

To sesquipedalian76 at May 21, 2008 8:38 PM
I'm not brave I just had great friends but thank you all the same.

To twoeyes at May 21, 2008 10:37 PM
To me one who wears his/her heart on his/her sleeve means they are open and honest and aren't afraid to show how they feel. I don't compare that with vulnerability because we all are in some way - I just don't care.

I start out with anyone I meet by being open and honest, if it turns out that I start to like them, well then I'm open about that too. This works for me because it's my nature, others may feel uncomfortable with being open or "wearing their heart on their sleeve". It really is a personal thing and I would never judge someone because they fear being taken advantage of. If I met a woman like that and I felt she was special, well I have all the time in the world so why hurry, if she wants more, she will decide in her own time.

I would like to meet someone special but if I don't - well that's ok too but until then, I'm happy to be open about how I feel if the moment is appropriate (sometimes it's not).

Posted by: rustiknight at May 22, 2008 6:30 AM

Strike me lucky you women, enough of this playing homage to Marcus and old Bill, now I'm going to have to put up with their bragging, Be aware it goes to their heads big time. All us nice guys might have to turn nasty so when we say something nice we get accolades, lol
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 21, 2008 11:34 PM

2 eyes, another cryptic post..........K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 21, 2008 11:11 PM

There is one thing that is more dangerous that having an open heart, and thats wearing it on your sleeve..............

Posted by: twoeyes at May 21, 2008 10:37 PM

Aw shucks thanks Symbiosis lol! I try to live my life with gratitude for the learning experiences that come my way ("the teacher arrives when the student is ready" - is this Depak Chopra quote?) as well as offering "random acts of kindness" towards friends, family and colleagues in the hope of contributing positively in a very small way to our daily world ("Pay it forward" I think is a saying or movie title I have vaguely heard mentioned) Cripes, I DO sound all Miss Prissy don't I LOL. Anyway, that's just silly old me and one of my quirks - and hopefully attempting to be open-hearted (gosh, on topic methinks lol)!

I also enjoy your posts Sym, very insightful and well articulated. :-)

Kind regards
Miss Priss... J

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 21, 2008 9:53 PM

Yes, I'm with Misspriss, thanks for clarifying things Grego....and sorry I called you a less than nice name!

Misspriss, you sound lovely....good on you for making the most of your situation. Strangely enough I often agree with L&T's posts too...!

Cheers, Helen

Posted by: symbiosis66 at May 21, 2008 8:40 PM

rustiknight at May 21, 2008 1:24 PM

I very much admire your courage, rustiknight. I wish I was as brave as you are...

Posted by: sesquipedalian76 at May 21, 2008 8:38 PM

Apology accepted Grego :-). I appreciate your further clarification, as it was a rather inflamatory remark as Symbiosis also agreed (thanks Sym too). Yes, it did hurt as unfortunately, some of us don't get "freedom of choice" in some life matters, but having said that I am very happy with my life and what it brings me every day.... I say I have approx. 400 children that I love, respect and care for and want to protect them from this big bad world, so I get my "mummy" fix in a very small way, but obviously no where near the hard work and sacrifices that their own mothers (and all mums here in bloggers land :-)) endure on a daily 24/7 basis..... Enough said from me on this topic :-)....

Rustiknight, I very much enjoyed your post and I am truly very sorry for your heartache, loss and sadness you have experienced. I am sure someone as open and kind-hearted as yourself will find love and lightness of heart again! :-) Your loveliness shines through your words! :-)

I'm also finding myself agreeing with alot of what Laughs and Talks has commented on in this topic too (big gasp from the crowd lol!) .Brownie points for you L & T...
Cheers, Miss Priss.. J

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 21, 2008 8:10 PM

My analogy was relating to every day life, some people we let in, some people we talk to and other people we don't want anything to do with. Nothing to do with you or your daughter, or men in general, just every day life. Why are you so angry, surely you would have known what I meant.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 21, 2008 6:59 PM

I need to proof read a bit more carefully in the future. With regard to my comment about baggage I also meant to add that I felt the term "baggage" was somewhat silly and I certainly would never put having kids in that category.

My apologies if anyone read that paragraph in a way I didn't intend it to be read

Posted by: rustiknight at May 21, 2008 5:57 PM

Everyone feels and thinks differently but personally the fact that someone I might choose to date and maybe enjoy a relationship with might have children or not, regardless of their age is irrelevant to me. I'm now 40 and accept that many of the woman I might be attracted to will have had children. It also helps that I love kids, maybe it's the immature side to me but they really can teach us a lot if we stopped and listened. Mind you some kids I met also need to stop and listen but thats a whole different story.

I've heard people call those with kids as having baggage, but if you like someone enough to spend time with them, then you must also be prepared to accept that they have had a past life.

This is me but for others they may have their own reasons, there's nothing wrong with that.

I'd love to have kids if I found someone special to settle down with but in reality just being with someone I want to be with and visa versa is more than enough for me.

If I had kids and a lady didn't want to be in a relationship with me because of that, then I would be disappointed but I could also understand it.

It's a pretty big thing and a concern for some, I suppose it's just a matter of being open from the start about what you are looking for.

Posted by: rustiknight at May 21, 2008 3:47 PM

rustiknight, I too enjoy people sharing their experiences and thoughts. Thank you for your contribution in that regard, and welcome :)

Having had a couple of relationships with guys who don't have children, I see a lot in what grego and waterbombe say in that regard. They're still great people, still may have lots of empathy towards your own children or to do with issues related, interact well, etc, etc, but as timewarp I think very succinctly put some while ago, they just haven't been through the life experiences that get you to where you are from parenthood; lots of other life experiences no doubt that are very valid too, but on some deep level there tend to be things that they just cannot really relate to.

An intellectual understanding of something is never as deep as having been through something similar, I believe (much in the same way as never having been through a divorce, whilst I sympathise with others who experience great trauma through it, I really have no idea how it feels as such).

Posted by: malsie at May 21, 2008 3:24 PM

Perth, of course mey comments are generalisations. and for every rule there are a myriad of exceptions. Newtons laws of physics were thought to be immutable until the laws of relativity were discovered.

Marcus, that is your cue to tell us about the physics of the universe.

Rustiknight, thank you for the insightful post. welcome to the trenches.

Have to go and try earn some money. grego

Posted by: grego7 at May 21, 2008 3:10 PM

rustiknight 1.24pm
Welcome - And what a beautiful post.
Please continue to post and convey your thoughts. Your profile is terrific too!

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at May 21, 2008 2:26 PM

I don't agree, Perth, I'm with Grego on this one. I know people without kids can be wonderful with them, of course they can. But on the rare occasion when you have to jettison your partner to take care of your kids, the childless person does not, in my experience, take it gracefully. They are far more likely to see it as a lack of love for them and to spit the dummy. For example, there they are in hospital, really sick and you are not by their side because one of your kids is in another hospital, really sick, and you are with your kid. There is no question that your partner needs support but another parent is much more likely to understand why they were "neglected" in this sort of case, This happened to me once and my childless partner made me choose between my kid and him. I chose my kid. I don't think another parent would have forced the choice, that's what I'm saying. So I didn't have relationships with childless men after that.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 21, 2008 2:04 PM

Oh..and Perth..just as well I didnt think like you regarding the "closing the door " analogy after my daughter died, as by your accounts I wouldnt have gone on to have other children. Or is your analogy about closing doors just related to men who have done you wrong??
I am able to set healthy boundaries with others, and also respect the boundaries of others. My door remains open.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at May 21, 2008 2:00 PM

I'm not into analogies as I find they digress from the original meaning of discussion. I can see you dont understand the depth of what I was discussing from my perspective.And that is fine too.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at May 21, 2008 1:37 PM

I've sort of lurked and I find many peoples varying viewpoints interesting and thought provoking. Many of those thoughts may not be like mine but they are, for the better part, made up mostly from someone's personal experience and differing views do make the world go around.

I lost my partner and soulmate a few years back to Cancer. The pain and confusion I experienced was unbearable, like losing the better part of my body and I would hate to have to go through that ever again but.....

If I closed my heart and soul out of fear then I might miss out on something just as special. One day a lady's going to come into my life and sweep me off my feet and being a typical guy I'll do all the stupid things us guys do when we fall.

There is something magical about being with someone special, if I retreated into myself as I did for awhile after (all purely normal) then I might miss out on the opportunity again. I'm not worried if I don't find someone again, I'm comfortable with that, I love life, have fantastic friends and the ladies I have dated have shown me how much more there is to life regardless of what you have gone through.

I can understand those who have been hurt in the past and it's not a sign of weakness, it's not wrong, it's their choice because they feel they need to protect themselves, lets face it I would prefer broken bones and physical pain to a broken heart any day.

Having said that, there might be guys, and girls out there who are less than positive in their motives, that's life, if you have the courage to peek above your fear, you never know what you might find.

I'd also like to thank you all for sharing, personally I love reading your comments.

I wear my heart on my sleeve and I don't think it makes me less of a guy for doing so or vulnerable, but that's just me.

Posted by: rustiknight at May 21, 2008 1:24 PM

Grego you make some ridiculous assumptions, how can you speak for all men when it comes to fear. Personally I think it just depends on the security of the person, some people see children as a threat, others are jealous of the intrusion. Older men especially are not particularly tolerant of teenagers as they seem to believe they should respect their elders automatically, I tend to believe respect needs to be earned. There are a myriad of reasons which have nothing to do with whether you have been a parent or not. I have a great friend who comes over every time we have a gathering of teenagers at home, he's fabulous, plays piano, helps me cook, tries to teach me to dance, laughs, talks, he doesn't have kids but certainly knows how to empathise, join in, mix with all of us, youngies, oldies, married, single, the dog, the cat. Nothing to do with being a parent, all to do with being a good person.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 21, 2008 12:46 PM

FP..maybe like having the front door of your home open/closed/or ajar. Some people you welcome with an open door/heart some people you lock out and other people, well you can talk to them but then happy to say bye bye, no don't really want you in my home. The old saying Home is where the heart is....might be really true, lol You protect your home and you protect your heart, sounds sensible to me.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 21, 2008 12:39 PM

The choice to have children is a personal one and I respect any persons own choice.

However, I do not believe any childless person has any idea of the profound affect having children has on people and particualarly women (Ladies dont get offended pls read further)

Until you have had kids you have never known real fear. The fear that grips your heart when your child is hurt or in danger. Most fathers feel it but there is no doubt nowhere near as much as a mother.

So yes I think there is a fundamental difference (stress difference not better/worse) between women who have had children and those that have had not.

For me personally my experience in dating childless women was not good. I shared care for my 3 young children and these childless women just could not understand
the issues.

Misspriss: I apologise that my comments caused you personal distress. It is sad that you may not be able to have children of your own.Your reaction suggests that you would indeed make a wonderful mother. My comment perhaps should have been to the affect that childless women have proven to be disasterous dates for me.

Symbiossis: I said 40 beacuse 15 years ago when my children were 6, 4 and 1 was dating women in their early 40s. Kids pick up intuitively whether a woman is a mother or not.

Re childless men, my guess is a man who has children would be a better match for a woman with children rather than a childless man for the same reasons as above.

Cheers to all grego

Posted by: grego7 at May 21, 2008 12:32 PM

Perth: you are gorgeous- thank you..but the point I was trying to make is that no one has control of what happens in life (we like to think we do, but we don't)..so we have the choice of living a life with a totally open heart and fulfilling every possible opportunity...or having the heart closed, or possibly only slightly ajar.. thinking we are somehow stopping ourselves from being hurt as the main agenda..and in the process losing the ability to live with great risk..which is needed to have great joy.
People who have closed hearts are afraid..it is based on fear..fear of what??
Food for thought.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at May 21, 2008 12:13 PM

FP - nice sentiments.

Posted by: woodnwine at May 21, 2008 12:07 PM

In my opinion an open heart can be very dangerous. Not that it should be though. What i've learnt is that you are dealing with human nature and behaviour.Selfish,power,egos etc. Some can some can't,some will some wont.I believe in true love,and giving all. There are many and varied reasons why some people cant give their heart totally. I believe in always doing the right thing. That comes from the heart,conscience,and maybe the way i have been raised.Also just lifes experiences and always had 2 eyes and ears open.

Posted by: genuinehonest1 at May 21, 2008 11:20 AM

FP, Your daughter is alive in your heart, always was and always will be, keep her there safe and sound and always loved.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 21, 2008 10:29 AM

I think having an open heart is surely a necessity of life, having the capacity to love and care for another human being is what we as humans are all about. Getting to that open heart is another thing. When I hear stories of phones being turned off, ex girlfriends/wives answering etc., etc., I have to wonder what the caller is trying to achieve. Some people enjoy living a fantasy of drama, see the soap operas that are so popular today, it produces emotion which produces adrenalin it makes them feel powerful and then with the inevitable collapse and sorrow that follows it guarantees attention. So, back to the original, should we have an open heart, yes absolutely, just be very realistic who manages to touch it.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 21, 2008 10:19 AM

Looking back over my life I can now see that that I loved in a highly circumscribed way with regard to having an open heart. Everything was fine with me as long as what I chose to give out was returned in kind. If it wasnt.... the love stopped. I ask myself now where did it go?

This all changed when I met my husband,who had such an open heart that was so all encompassing I was able to feel safe and trusted. The heart started to open up easily. Then tragedy struck when our oldest daughter died. The pain was unbearable and seemed never ending at the time. But rather than close..my heart opened right up..put everything in perspective if you like.

A wise buddhist soul said to me recently that he believed that the emotional pain we feel occurs because we decide to stop loving a person..hence the pain is felt...but if you can continue to love and let them go..your pain will be diminished.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at May 21, 2008 9:35 AM

Very well said Marcus, nothing to add except sad but true.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 21, 2008 8:43 AM

Very.

Posted by: woodnwine at May 21, 2008 8:35 AM

grego's entitled to his opinion about childless 40+ women though it would be a bit better if he articulated a reason. Perhaps he might say he has a personality disorder and even though he holds that opinion he understands it to be quite irrational.
There is an urban myth that some blokes are wont to believe about childless older women being ball busters. The theory goes something like that maternal expression changes a woman's personality and physiology (which it does) and a more rounded, inwardly satisfied female emerges.
Personally I don't subscribe to that, but it is prevalent.
Divekitty is a hidden profile bottom feeder and her recent position is illogical.
If you are worried about an overpopulated ecological disaster on earth not breeding is fair enough. To come out and say that you are going to devote your life to the welfare of third world children is barmy. That is only going to exacerbate the huge problem we have already created- do gooder interference (among other types) in a delicate human ecology; principally supplying food to otherwise marginal populations, means that they will breed unsustainably and their pressure on locally non existant resources becomes greater. After all the plague of humans on earth is caused by superabundant food; mainly made possible because of fossil fuel fed mechanised agriculture.
Cheers MS

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 21, 2008 12:36 AM

Sym,
Got it
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 20, 2008 10:53 PM

Misspriss01 - please don't let drongo, oops, grego upset you...his outlook and prejudices are his alone and nothing to do with you (or I, as a childless woman). But yes I agree, that was a very inflammatory remark.

I think he could earn some brownie points for apologising and backing up his brazen statement with hard, empirical and broad evidence!! All women over 40 grego? Why not over 41, or 39? It seems a bit general and arbitrary to me.

I wonder how grego views men past 40 without children?? Or it is purely "have womb, must use it" ....

Cheers, Helen

Posted by: symbiosis66 at May 20, 2008 9:33 PM

Divekitty,

Thanks for adding to the generation info thingie - I'm not sure about that 20 year rule though, it's different to what I've seen in the past. But yes, nothing to do with open hearts!! At least it�s a change from everyone tearing strips off each other re differing reproductive choices�.

Thanks for the compliment! Not looking so hot at present though after a long day at work, in scruffy (and I mean seriously scruffy) clothes.

No offence, I think you might possibly have me confused with female people who are quite, shall we say, wide varying in what foodstuffs they like to consume. I don't tend to like chewing on anything too fibrous, or things that have been walked on...

Cheers, Helen

Posted by: symbiosis66 at May 20, 2008 9:15 PM

I can't google on this laptop, but will google tomorrow at work...I never argue unless I believe I am correct, so the 1946 thing on the BB generation is what I originally thought....just didn't think it embraced young people born in 1960!!!!
This home has a BB and a Gen Y....
We learn from each other,
Cheers,
B.
PS...apologies for straying off topic....

Posted by: bm1960 at May 20, 2008 9:15 PM

I didn't replace myself....had one child, thankfully a male. (Was married to an Italian who just wanted a son....I was terrified of having a girl who would pay me back for being the daughter I was...:-)...)
My son is the reason I live and breathe...old fashioned attitude, I know that, but that is my choice in life.
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 20, 2008 8:46 PM

Symbiosis, As much as I hate to correct you, you gorgeous thing, (it's a shame you don't live in Melb!) you are slightly wrong about the generations. They are as follows:

baby boomers 1946-1965
Generation X 1966-1985
Generation Y 1986-2005
Generation Z 2006-2025
A 'generation' is always 20 years long.

Um, I regret that this post has absolutely nothing to do with having an open heart ;-)

Posted by: divekitty at May 20, 2008 8:38 PM

From my experience any woman past 40 who has not had kids is a total disaster. Period. grego

Posted by: grego7 at May 20, 2008 2:25 PM

I found that comment highly offensive Grego. I for one am unable to have children due to medical reasons as well as believing that every female and male has the right to make an educated choice as to whether they have a child or not. I also happen to work in the education industry and love children dearly and have been told from many students' parents how much they appreciate my dedication and caring towards their children. Each to their own......You have obviously had some negative experiences in your recent past hence your very blinkered attitude towards women "of a certain age" with no biological children........ I'm very upset now.....

Posted by: misspriss01 at May 20, 2008 8:34 PM

Gawd, talk about focussing on the negatives, ppl! Some of you clearly need to watch "The Secret." Just google it!
I feel that I should clarify the term 'breeder'. The fact that these folk are both socially and environmentally irresponsible is beside the point, and I did not mention that in my first msg. Breeding is simply a verb, a descriptive word, nothing to be offended at. The act of fertilsing an egg is called 'breeding.' Animals do it, flowers do it and people too. Anyone who takes utter offence at this should probably be seeking a therapist rather than having children. As to me, I am a part of the solution (not the problem!) of an already over-populated, over-consuming planet. I have chosen to dedicate my life to improving the lives of third world children and animals. If I had my own kids I would not have the resources to do this. If that makes me selfish and a disaster, well then I am guilty as charged! ...not to mention proud of it!

Posted by: divekitty at May 20, 2008 8:28 PM

Posted by: waterbombe at May 20, 2008 8:46 AM

Negatory. I did not use the word 'breeder', not would I endorse its use by others. Rather I was speaking of a general prevailing attitude in our society that still views not having children as 'odd', and that people seem to have no problem in commenting on this fact. Personally, I believe that the choice to have children is like any other life choice - ultimately it is a matter for the people involved. I just think that having children should be the result of a conscious reasoned decision, rather than simply having them because you are 'supposed to', and that either choice should be viewed as equally legitimate.

Posted by: sesquipedalian76 at May 20, 2008 7:06 PM

Well yes that's true Perth, they don't all know what it means to be a parent. And some childless guys have been step parents, so it's worth a question or two at the outset, I guess.

I agree, Grego, I didn't want to see photos, and i didn't show mine. Some bloggers i have met are so much better looking than their photos I was astonished. Just goes to show that photos are not a good guide.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 20, 2008 7:01 PM

I entirely see your point WB but I think that scenario happens with the guys who have had kids as well. It's sort of 'they'll get over it'. I think also that some guys have never really been involved with the day to day upbringing of children for whatever reason and have no idea really what it is to be a parent.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 20, 2008 6:28 PM

Yes, hello Grego....love from the disastrous Symbiosis xoxox

Posted by: symbiosis66 at May 20, 2008 6:26 PM

waterbombe at 5.11pm: Yess!! You are prezactly right, IMHO.

The other thing I've noticed is that the childless-so-far have a different scale to measure life's little dramas. They see as quite threatening, what we war-weary ex-front line troops see as no big deal at all.

After I'd had to hold an 8-year-old curled up for a lumbar puncture, and if I let him buck as the big needle went in, he might immediately become a para, traumas like fingernail damage while typing seem a lot less horrific. (BTW TLD, that was a lovely ironic piece, except that when you said 'mist' I thought of gorillas in it ...)

Posted by: timewarp1 at May 20, 2008 6:24 PM

WB, totally agree with your comments. especially the need sometimes for kids to come first.

Re profiles. the first part I read is the headline. I prefer a profile not to have a picture because a picture puts an immediate bias in the profile (one way or the other) I have made a post sort of related to this in another blog topic.

There is a side benefit of meeting some one with kids for the first time as kids are always a good topic of converstion irrespective the ages of the kids.

Posted by: grego7 at May 20, 2008 6:07 PM

I don't see them as lacking anything in themselves, Perth, and as for them being 'penalised' by missing out on a relationship with me...well I don't take myself that seriously. What they don't have is the same life-altering experience I've had, with all that entails. I have tried relationships with guys who don't have kids, and we always ended in conflict when something really serious happened and I put the kids first. As a parent would. And generally a non-parent can pay all the lip-service in the world, but when push comes to shove they arc up about coming second at times. Whereas a guy who is a parent understands why he is coming second at times. He knows it's because I love my kids, not because I don't love him.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 20, 2008 5:11 PM

What about the poor blokes who wanted kids though and the wives didn't, or there were problems conceiving children. Maybe that is why their marriage broke up in the first place, or maybe they simply made a conscious decision not to have kids. I don't know seems a shame to penalise someone for it though. I have a few long term married friends who haven't got kids and they are very happy productive people, quite financially sound as well and they certainly haven't missed out on anything in life.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 20, 2008 4:19 PM

Gosh, Grego, you are very decisive. What is the first thing you check on a woman's profile may I ask?
Actually i agree with you. Men past 40 who haven't had kids don't interest me either. There is so much that they have to imagine because they don't know...it gets tiresome.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 20, 2008 3:11 PM

ad thought I was classed as a baby boomer and felt quite left out that I may have been misinformed. May do as you're thinking BM and do a google too.

Grego @ 2.25pm...That was a bit harsh don't you think? I know of a woman who would have given her right arm to have children but couldn't for medical reasons. She's recently partnered up with a chap who has 3 and she's in her element.
How about the women who are with men who are infertile??? Hmmmm..Would you advocate they cheat to fill their void or stay loyal to a partner they love and go childless??

Hmmm, far from being a disaster I would think!!!

Cheers....."G"

Cheers...."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 20, 2008 2:54 PM

In looking at a female profile the second thing I check is whether they have had kids.If no kids then I dump the profile.

From my experience any woman past 40 who has not had kids is a total disaster. Period. grego

Posted by: grego7 at May 20, 2008 2:25 PM

Put the real estate bit in just for you two eyes....meeeowww!!!! lol

Posted by: iaminperth at May 20, 2008 1:28 PM

Real Estate Prices in Perth are pretty outrageous at the moment and rentals extremely expensive due to the mining boom. I don't know about the outer suburbs though but if you want to live anywhere near to the city, it's big bikkies. So many people are moving over here to work in the mining industry that rentals have risen dramatically leaving some of the people who are already renting out on their ears unfortunately. Not a good situation sometimes.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 20, 2008 12:55 PM

I also thought the expression Baby Boomers had something to do with WW2, but never got around to finding out....might have to do some googling later.
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 20, 2008 11:22 AM

My understanding of the generation called baby boomers was that this generation started when the soldiers returned from WW2, so basically the baby boom generation stretched from 1946 to 1964.

Posted by: virgil at May 20, 2008 10:54 AM

Amberlight

from the now closed cheating blog.

A very interesting observation that hoarders run in families, my mother hoarded things, I do as well, it just seems so hard to tidy and throw out many things.

Posted by: virgil at May 20, 2008 10:37 AM

Twoeyes old mate, about as much as your post @ 8.04 am, lol.
Cheers OG
B, more red than dinner, according to the noises my tummys making this morning

Posted by: oldergent at May 20, 2008 10:26 AM

What's the generation tag for late 40's please? I'm a 1949 so just missed out on the BB.. Thanks...."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 20, 2008 10:12 AM

Thanks for the clarification. Will have a giggle at lunch today when I tell the others we are Baby Boomers....we range from 1959 to 1964 and still consider ourselves youngsters!!!
Hey OG...I hope the neighbours served a nice red with dinner..:-)
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 20, 2008 9:19 AM

Re: "the howls of protest that arise the moment anyone dares to question the decision to have children" Posted by: sesquipedalian76 at May 19, 2008 8:41 PM

...aren't you getting that confused with the 'howls of protest' by parents being called by a derogatory term such as 'breeder"? I don't hear the parents here refusing to consider a child-free choice for other adults as valid; what I do hear is parents refusing to be judged through the use of a derogatory term for having children. Live and let live. Neither side needs to use insults to make a point.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 20, 2008 8:46 AM

Mum and Dad in their 70's, born pre WW11 would heartily approve of 'Gen Frugal'.
Dad taught me to de nail salvaged timber and then straighten them. Mum taught me to make a weeks worth of shank soup for the price of a restaurant entree. Nanna, maternal, never had reticulated water so we were taught to leave taps off for as long as possible (and to put up with the odd mosquito larvae).
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 20, 2008 8:15 AM

Gee i am glad that all is well in perth and that the lamb shanks were good. How about all the talk about cats makes for interesting conversation. Then throw in for good measure dishlickers and bunnies.

WHAT HAS THIS GOT TO DO WITH THE TOPIC AT HAND.

oh i forgot about the real estate prices.

Posted by: twoeyes at May 20, 2008 8:04 AM

all is well with the world in Perth.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 19, 2008 10:49 PM

hmmm serendipity?
My kids are all back in Perth at the moment, jobs a little hard to find in Adelaide, that was an interesting comment to see after watching Boston Legal & Footy Confidential.

Real estate prices are still holding up here, Perth has been on the slide for about a year or more, and just seeing signs of recovery.

Posted by: virgil at May 20, 2008 12:21 AM

Perth, you know how to hurt an old country boy, you'd have to know that my old mate TW would have had to fight the Dogs for those shanks, not even knowing what TV and the no funnies were, and the Burmese was only mobile exotic dog food.

But only to keep them in trim for the race track, if they could catch them. Of course in our day you were not allowed to give the Muts red before a race. It used to get them amorous with the bunny, So when the Myxo came in we had to use stuffed cats on the course.
This also confused the Bookies as to what the muts had been trained to chase, as to what odds to post, but in true form they soon worked out that if the mut only had one eye and was slashed and scared about the head it was a cat dog. So it would go slower, this however never affected the Muts that had been fed 3 mystery bags, and quite often won the race. This led to much frustrations to the stewards who had no idea who was supposed to win and had put their money on the wrong dog. As you can see life was not easy for the likes of us old timers, with a lot of us kids held responsible for the transgessions of the bosses and often had to run faster than the muts at the end of a race. But Hell life was fun in retrospect, would not swap it if I could.
My point Perth, give him a break, shanks were a luxury in our day, and a day at the dogs was heaven, even with an exotic pussy as the target, as long as you did not have to catch it.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 20, 2008 12:11 AM

Perth - a Burmese? My favourite breed, followed by abyssinian. My favourite that we could afford was our mongrel siamese - white chest and socks, so the kids named him Cappucino.

Chose me to bond to, but when we split ten years later, Joan wanted him. Bought a house with dog-proof burglar screens enclosing the verandah, so he could be safe in the sun while she was at work.

So I accepted a flat where I couldn't have pets. Later found that the people under me had a secret siamese on their far verandah.

Capuccino lived to 19. Joan persuaded me never to visit my daughter there, because it would unsettle the cat to see me again.

Posted by: timewarp1 at May 19, 2008 11:24 PM

Gee so close to real time posting again, thanks Katr.. you must be on duty
luv OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 19, 2008 11:09 PM

I'm a genuine BB and I have a generation Txt at home. I think that is one of the best....thanks Marcus, extremely good !!!!

Posted by: iaminperth at May 19, 2008 11:07 PM

Sorry BM,
my next doors cooked Itailian and the genes took over, so I threw the pledge over their fence, thank goodness someone else can cook good food and save me from sobriety,lol.
Strangely the Irish never needed the food as an excuse.
Luv OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 19, 2008 10:53 PM

I had some beautiful tender roasted lamb shanks tonight for dinner with a couple of glasses of red wine...oh yum. Now, curled up in bed with the electric blanket watching the Great Comedy debate on the television lovely and warm and comfortable. My little burmese is curled up around my feet and all is well with the world in Perth.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 19, 2008 10:49 PM

guiltypleasure at 9.16 pm
I liked that post.

Symb@ 8.58 pm.
More the gen of the realists, do what you have to do to survive, stand up and be counted "when it counts" and protect those who are to come. So it makes me proud to see how many where worth our effort. Strange again how this blog has developed, so many different and valuable opinions. Makes me proud to be an old Australian (Opps or was that meant to be an old Builder "NSW only" would get that.

Marcus I give it to you to proclaim the new gen "gen TxT" so apt, 2001 shall be hereby know as GEN TxT Yah, cheers and general acclaim (hang on where's my mobile) found it, now ok GO
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 19, 2008 10:46 PM

EighteenInches at 8.41pm: You're welcome.

On having kids or not: Some good points. Some more reasons not to: My Dad told my Mum he was a merino studmaster, and looking at it dispassionately, he would never choose his genes to pass on. (Come in Perth) She said forget that, she'd chosen him for the job, and they had 3 kids.

One of my daughters doesn't expect to have kids. Her much-older, very selfish husband persuaded her ten years ago that having a baby would put a terrible strain on their relationship. And she was at level 7 in the public service before she was 30 - 70-odd grand a year to sacrifice. But she is still 5 years away from the late-30s time-bomb. We'll see.

I'm not going to be so selfish as to twist her arm. As so many oldies do, often I think just to keep up with the Jones "She's no better a breeder than I am!"

The 21st-century world needs many many millions of people to decide not to have kids. And carry it through. Every generation. Forever.

That's why I see banning contraception as a crime against humanity.

Posted by: timewarp1 at May 19, 2008 9:23 PM

In response to the continued discussion regarding the decision (or not) to have children, can I just clarify that at no time did I criticise anyone for their decision to not have children. I simply object to the wording used to describe my particular choice.

The decision to not have children is one that requires as much fortitude as parenting. The societal pressure to conform to type is staggering. And don't forget, we are the lucky ones, blessed with the education, economic conditions and freedom of choice not given to many other societies throughout the world.

My decision to embrace parenthood could perhaps compromise my dating prospects. I think there are many men out there who just quietly are adverse to becoming involved with another man's children,no matter how much I stress I am not looking for a new father for them. There's something deeply primal about it all. Although I've never made any expectations of them, I think some men find it preferable not to have to deal with the whole messy business. C'est la vie.

So, all I'm saying is that there are pros and cons to both sides of this argument. As far as I'm concerned I don't mind which side you have chosen for yourself. Just as long as you have made your choice and embraced it willingly and are not diminished by it. It's the nature of keeping an open heart, and an open mind, on a complex and individual situation.

Posted by: guiltypleasure at May 19, 2008 9:16 PM

symbiosis66 May 19, 2008 8:22 PM

From memory (correct me if I'm wrong):

BB = 1950-1964
Gen X = 1965-1979
Gen Y = 1980+

Not sure about the real youngies, Gen Z....anyone?
---------------------------
Gen txt = after 1995 (according to my bro. who has 10 &13 yo daughters)

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 19, 2008 9:11 PM

Ooops, I forgot your (lovable) generation OG.

I've heard it referred to as: The Depressives; The frugals.

Nice! I think it's to do with WW2 and the 1930s depression....

Posted by: symbiosis66 at May 19, 2008 8:58 PM

timewarp1 at 7:14 PM

Thanks! Although it seems I figured it out myself by accident. I thought it might be html or VBcode. Never actually thought of just hitting 'enter'...

One the subject of children, I would humbly suggest that the reason for the howls of protest that arise the moment anyone dares to question the decision to have children, is that such questioning is interpreted by people with children as an implicit criticism of their lifestyle decisions.

For many people, having children is simply a foregone conclusion based on a complete acceptance of a traditional life path that goes : childhood > adulthood > marriage > children > grave. What I wonder is whether or not people actually think it through critically, or just have children because they think that is what they are supposed to do. I'm sure a lot do, but there is such social and cultural pressure to do what everyone else does, that if you even dare to question the decision, you get howled down.

In this day and age, there are many sound arguments why it might be a reasonable decision to have fewer or no children, but it still seems to be viewed as something of a social oddity. Still, times and social mores change and I'm sure that this one will too.

Posted by: sesquipedalian76 at May 19, 2008 8:41 PM

OG, you could never offend me!

Hmmmm, re your interpretation of "insightful and poetic prose"!! I liked it because it made me think of hurt and being open hearted in a different light. You may be onto something though, I bet he has had a stampede of female traffic to his profile...

Posted by: symbiosis66 at May 19, 2008 8:36 PM

B.
Try lovable gen like me in mine LOL
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 19, 2008 8:23 PM

Hi bm1960, yes you are a baby boomer!

From memory (correct me if I'm wrong):

BB = 1950-1964
Gen X = 1965-1979
Gen Y = 1980+

Not sure about the real youngies, Gen Z....anyone?

Posted by: symbiosis66 at May 19, 2008 8:22 PM

Symbiosis.
No offence ever intended, first seen it as a gymnastics act, never could do it myself (male).

I have already posted on the suckering prose of some newcomers and how it is re-acted on (for whom the bell tolls) by the women, so to avoid scars use your intuition, sometimes us men can see a "come on" by a male more clearly than the women it is directed to. Now I will await the howls of protest with noble distain (as is my wont as a member of the wiser generation). With clear heart.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 19, 2008 8:19 PM

nope not me

Posted by: iaminperth at May 19, 2008 8:18 PM

Perth, didn't you say exactly the same thing about farting frogs a couple of weeks ago? Must have made quite an impression on you.

Posted by: waterbombe at May 19, 2008 7:30 PM

Daft question...is a person born in 1960 a 'baby boomer'? If not, what generation would I be? Seriously, I have never bothered to find this out, but would like to know.
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 19, 2008 7:15 PM

sesquipedalian76 at 6:46 PM: Two carriage returns (showing my age) "Enters. "

Posted by: timewarp1 at May 19, 2008 7:14 PM

OG, that reminds me of a (bad) joke - What is the most attractive thing a woman can put behind her ears? - Her feet.

I'm as stiff as a board (old back injury) and can't even touch my toes, perhaps that's why I'm still single??

Marcus at 10:54 - Yes, I agree!! I often think that the outlook of more, more and more humans is seen as lovely and the opposite of misanthropy. I think this is flawed logic and can only end in tears, possibly within our (Gen X) generation. It seems we have a few outlooks in common, which is somewhat frightening for me....

I agree 100% with the insightful and poetic post from bonjava. It really made me think - no I haven't been Badly Hurt, but yes each experience inflicted wounds, which are now scarred over.

Love your attitude too creativestuart - you keep believing in yourself and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!! When you meet the right woman you will be thankful you held out for your ideal.

Cheers, Helen

Posted by: symbiosis66 at May 19, 2008 6:57 PM

Nice to see that people learned something from my user name! The meaning that I had was 'the overuse of long words' which I though described me rather aptly.Vis a vis the old "Its better to have loved and lost..." chestnut, when I hear it I can't help thinking how cathartic it would be to strangle Tennyson, as I can't say that I agree with him. Its been suggested that the definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the result to be different, and it seems to me that dating could well fall under such a definition. Ergo, I find myself pondering what the point of inflicting it on ourselves over and over again? I remain unconvinced, hence my reticence to put myself out there.
PS. Can someone tell me what kind of html tag you use to separate paragraphs? The grammar nazi in me is turning somersaults!

Posted by: sesquipedalian76 at May 19, 2008 6:46 PM

Perth, you are norty. Loved it.

Posted by: timewarp1 at May 19, 2008 5:46 PM

Oh sorry, just to clarify, add imaginary in front of every noun, I think that right.......or am I imagining it. Or was the adjective the doing word so maybe the fart was the adjective, although we can't then put imaginary in front of it can we. Oh never mind, it's all too hard, I'm sure TW will have to ignore this as I don't exist do I...the frogs sure didn't.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 19, 2008 5:37 PM

I was casually walking down the road the other day on my way to the park when my male companion walking next to me suddenly said 'oooh, can you hear the frogs?', I thought frogs...no, then he said again, oh there they are again !! and thought it was very funny. It was actually him farting whilst walking down the street. I didn't think it was funny at all, in fact I thought he was a complete idiot. Do you think I'm being prudey, I just thought Yukk, you idiot I don't want to know you.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 19, 2008 5:34 PM

So, what did she do then OG, or would that be too much information. Not a terribly attractive pose I would think and would wonder when it was needed. Are you sure she was a lady ?

Posted by: iaminperth at May 19, 2008 4:47 PM

Damn, that Bill's got a big mouth, whats wrong with leggings. I knew a lady once that could put both legs behind her head,ooooohhhhhhmmmmmm.
lol
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 19, 2008 1:59 PM

Bill, you're right..don't have leotards. Leggins will be the go. Will write myself a memo and stick on fridge to remind myself to pack same. I will perform said task at onset and again when a little "charged". May even surprise myself and still be able to put leg behind head but I doubt it. Will try though. What the heck, A party trick to behold methinks.....

I'm sure VDU will be only too happy to report results back to you. ... "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 19, 2008 11:08 AM

I think it's a huge shame when young couples are pressured into having children. Parents constantly making reference to the fact, wanting to become grandparents etc. I have friends who have never wanted children of their own because of their lifestyles and the amount of criticism they receive is amazing. Both love kids, they just never wanted any of their own. I think society needs to become a lot more responsible when it comes to the amount of children they produce. For me, it was always the question of education and whether it could be provided.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 19, 2008 10:37 AM

iberianman at 11:16 PM - I think you think right, and thanks for adding something new and true to the discussion.

Posted by: timewarp1 at May 19, 2008 10:19 AM

Aw gee G.
Wasn't that I didn't believe, just my sneaky way of getting an invite to see you do it, still waiting for Marcus to challenge our though transferrence procedure, lol
Tw no comment on the leotards
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 19, 2008 9:13 AM

What is life with out love? And how do you love without opening your heart. I live my life with my heart open its the kind of person I am. And yes it hurt like hell when i broke up with my gf but I got over it... learned something and learned to love a little more.

Posted by: widgie at May 19, 2008 2:02 AM

Bob (OG) I will demonstrate (with ease too I might add) at our next get together (girlie one) and I'm sure you'll get reports. I just may even let our "lady friend" that you're in contact with, take a photo and email it to you.Fancy doubting me. I'm miffed!!!
Used to be a taekwondo girl in my heyday and kept up my flexibility for a long while there. Just haven't had cause to use it of late.. Glad I tried today.. A good feeling..
Anyway.. You'll see!!!!!!....Cheers.."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 19, 2008 12:03 AM

OG at 10.59pm: Steady the Buffs! What if she hasn't got a leotard?

When she and her few best friends get together again for their next regular viticulture weekend, ask her to perform the trick and for her friends to witness it at the outset, before she might do herself an injury, or they see the trick in duplicate.

VDU has workmanlike-looking specs. Let's ask her to report back to us after the hangovers wear off. And until then, you be patient, Robert.

Posted by: timewarp1 at May 18, 2008 11:57 PM

2 x i's.. It's girls only.. A birthday bash/ femme fest for one of our lovelies.. Sorry!!!... "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 18, 2008 11:53 PM

If you're not hurt when a relationship ends, then you haven't cared enough. If you care for the person after it ends then it may be even love..of a sort....I think...

Posted by: iberianman at May 18, 2008 11:16 PM

G.
It is in my nature to be trusting, but on this occasion I would like to see you do that trick myself, lol.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 18, 2008 10:59 PM

symbiosis66 at May 18, 2008 5:24 PM

Well put. We don't need children to validate our lives. Too many kids in fact is an unethical response.
Given that the enormous environmental, and increasingly social, stress on earth is bought about almost exclusively by the plague of humans it makes a lot of ethical sense to reduce population numbers.
If we want to make a huge reduction to our environmental impact having less children is by far the best way.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 18, 2008 10:54 PM

when and where is this lovefest and do i have to cook or just turn up???????????????

Posted by: twoeyes at May 18, 2008 10:50 PM

Being open and honest gets you hurt, often badly!

It also has given me the greatest friendships one could ever ask for.

It is 10 years since I was last dating and I haven't changed, but dating has. And It is not a better place. Unfortunately the lack of willingness to take a chance is I believe contributing to how many singles there are.
Too many are trying to make decisions from past experiences or profiles alone.

But I am determined to remain honest with myself and open then if I do find the one, then they are not being cheated or missing out on how great I really am because I have been hurt before.

Life knocks you down and it will keep you there if you let it. It is however about how well you can get up and keep moving forward. Believe in yourselves and in finding the one you seek.

Posted by: creativestuart at May 18, 2008 9:37 PM

Blimey...my last post probably doesn't make sense because other postshave not been published. Back on topic....this is not romantic in the general sense, but it is to me....I live with a person who doesn't care what I look like in the morning, accepts I hang out in trackydaks on a cold arvo, shares music taste with me, laughs at the same things I laugh at even if it is me saying it.....and thinks whatever I cook is Ok.....why on earth do I look for another man when I have the perfect man in my son....oh yeah....I vaguely remember why....
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 18, 2008 8:51 PM

Big brother is watching us all it seems??????

Posted by: bm1960 at May 18, 2008 8:32 PM

Haha thanks Malsie,
hate to feel shallow, but a poorly written email with 'shore' instead of 'sure' and other similar slip-ups doesn't quite impress me, Nothing quite to do with having an open heart, more an open mind! However surely just because i'm well-read and embrace study and increasing my knowledge, doesn't mean that for example my mechanic brother who hasn't read anything thicker than a wheels or street commodore magazine in the last 8 years isn't more intelligent with me in many ways, i wouldn't havea clue whats under the bonnet of my beloved car, beyond how to check the oil and water!

Posted by: ainslie1988 at May 18, 2008 8:15 PM

Wonderful insights Bonjava...hope you are having a rewarding journey.....

Posted by: ssshhh at May 18, 2008 7:47 PM

B.
All was explained if the post had not been edited out of all sight.
Cheers OG.

Posted by: oldergent at May 18, 2008 7:31 PM

Ah.. the party room, bubbles (I'll have red instead), the love fest, etc.... Bring it on... You're all smoochers in your own way anyway!!!... Gotta love it... Enough said on here...."G"

Oh..And for the record both B's.. (oops, it's 3 for this one) I just checked and I can still touch my right ear with my left big toe. Yay... Not quite with the opposite though due to an old sports injury. Still flexible for an old mamma.. Made my night that has.. Must remember!!! (Woopie bloody doo!!)

Cheers all..."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 18, 2008 7:01 PM

Bonjava, what a lovely profile.. and a great post.. So true... Good luck to you..."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 18, 2008 6:51 PM

What a beautifully simple but accurate analogy Bonjava - well said!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at May 18, 2008 6:48 PM

bonjava - please keep talking to us.

Posted by: timewarp1 at May 18, 2008 6:46 PM

When we open our hearts it is like unwrapping the bandaged scar tissue. The skin here can be very tender. It can be crusted over with a hard scab. Each wound heals differently and each heals schedule of its own.

It is important to realize that everyone has this scar tissue. At some point in time they have been let down by a relationship or back stabbed or something. For some people heartbreak comes as a matter of course....a transition through life. While others merely put up the armour and deflect the pain and anguish before it gets to the point of penetrating the deep tissue

I feel it is impossible to end a relationship without some form of heartbreak. Otherwise it really was not one of depth. So many hopes and feelings go into a relationship so that when it ends the knife gets twisted in the wound and there is hurt.

An open heart is dangerous...the hurt is real....however when we open our hearts we share something very special and the rewards of doing so can outweigh the possibility of hurt....

With each hurt or heartbreak we learn. We learn about ourselves and our needs. We learn about others passions and magic.

So it is certainly a growing process. The danger is real...so too is the magic that dwells therein. It is important to understand and build upon what we know and what we feel in order to journey forth. In order to be knowledgeable about ourselves and those around us.

Posted by: bonjava at May 18, 2008 6:35 PM

Hon, wouldn't "syllabellically loaded" be a more apt description for those of us who don't feel like getting the dictionary or thesaurus?
HHmmmmm ????..........K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 18, 2008 6:31 PM

Mals, you're so sweet... I can't wait for an email with "sesquipedalian" woven in to the text!! BTW, it literally means a word a foot and a half long, but more commonly as a very long word or one of many syllables.

Bob, you have no idea what G is like fully loaded - she's outrageously funny and flirty and does get VERY affectionate... in the nicest way possible, of course!!

Kaz, I'm stocking up on bubble in readiness for the love fest - the party room will never be the same again!! And no G, you won't be the only mushy one by the end of the night...

Junebaby, you're way to good to be just a Monday - Friday girl. Maybe your gut is telling you exactly what you need to know, the secret is to listen to it and trust it. Good luck!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at May 18, 2008 6:19 PM

Percheron horses: thanks Perth, Firelight and Robert for your input. Sorry I was a bit vague about the name to begin with.

Posted by: timewarp1 at May 18, 2008 6:06 PM

Yes, Kaz, she does know a few long words - a lot that are "sesquipedalian" in fact (meaning "many syllabled" apparently, Jewels!).
"G" - we all know that alcohol just brings out our inner selves. Those who are aggressive feel free to let their inhibitions go and punch someone on the nose. The loving souls, such as yourself, just let the love flow.... and what a delight that is too.

Helen, I can well imagine people choosing not to have children, and I don't think anyone would argue that that's a perfectly fine decision to come to. There's plenty of others who couldn't imagine life without them, so it all balances out, I think.

ainslie, I couldn't agree with you more about "grammer and spelling and being able to correctly structure a sentence doesn't really indicate the intelligence or capacity for love......." - many a discussion has been had on the blogs about this. For some people things like that are such a turn off they won't even consider someone who doesn't spell well, etc. If that's how they feel, that's up to them. But I agree with you, there are all kinds of "intelligence", and an ability with the written word is not the be all and end all of things. Depth of character being far more important, in my opinion.

Posted by: malsie at May 18, 2008 5:52 PM

Bob.....if I could scratch my left ear with my right toe, I would be a gymnast.....I am definitely not that...so please explain mate.....:-)
Have I been waffling too much, yet again, under the influence of vino??? So be it...join me, my shout....
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 18, 2008 5:31 PM

I love what you wrote at 2:21 victoriadownunder!! Each person does add something to our life experience and outlook and vice versa. But a functional BS detector is vital too, so that the zero-sum game doesn't turn into a negative/loss situation for either party. Sort of like driving a car, yes there is danger, but use a seat belt!

I've been pretty lucky with my few, but long lasting relationships - I am still friends with 2 out of my 3 ex-partners, the third one I would cross the road to avoid, lol.

Sorry, but I have to comment further about the �kids/no kids choice� bunfight of earlier. I�m not wanting to inflame the debate again, just add a different point of view.

Yes, I agree that DK's use of words could have been much better (and one of my word choices too� Sorry about that one folks!). But it is very much a personal choice. I would never judge or put down anyone else's choices, but the negative stereotypes and pro-natalist aspects can get tedious for those who have chosen the no-kids road. I can say this with some confidence, as I have spoken to many other women who have made this choice....

No, the childless are not all selfish, sometimes we are quite the opposite. I have thought long and hard about this aspect of life - and have read some very interesting material around the subject. I have many reasons for my choice, and would consider most of those reasons to be very much non-selfish. Isn't having kids more about what we, as adults and parents can do for them, rather than some perceived "pay back" system down the road??

Cheers, Helen

Posted by: symbiosis66 at May 18, 2008 5:24 PM

VDU, where oh where do you get those big words girl!!
Mals l can't even pronounce it let alone reproduce it to insert into an email......

"G".....what can l say, a worry is what you are..... Best we get on the bubbles early when next we meet, then all inhibitions will be gone and a big love fest will ensue !!!.....................K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 18, 2008 5:21 PM

B
you behave yourself.
Vee ar vatching, specially ven u mention did vun dat scratcher her left ear vif rite toe'

Posted by: oldergent at May 18, 2008 5:06 PM

Hi Everyone,
glad i discovered the blogs, quite entertaining/interesting at times!
Thanks to everyone for advice, i've decided to give that guy the flick, and after urging from a friend went out with another guy the other night, and we really connected and felt so comfy with each other! plus he's a sweet affectionate (if a bit rough around the edges) type, and it's proved to me i should be slightly less of a snob, grammer and spelling and being able to correctly structure a sentence doesn't really indicate the intelligence or capacity for love.......
That said, it helps a bit......

Posted by: ainslie1988 at May 18, 2008 4:50 PM

VDU.. more than just a few!!! And that's definitely an understatement. Am well and truly overdue to let my hair down so everyone had best look out!!! Maybe I'd best pack my handcuffs ??? Nah, it'll be fun... and besides... I'm not the only mushy one there am I ???? Enough said.... Cheers..."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 18, 2008 4:50 PM

Posted before I was ready.. Sorry... Not sure how far I got. Think I was saying that's why, when away from my inner group of friends, I ALWAYS stop at 2. In fact if I'm feeling soppy before I go out I even resort to straight water just to be on the safe side. Boring I know but hate to give someone the wrong idea.
I'll tell you how bad I am.. Even my youngest son used to high tail it out of the room when I came home after a few too many. He's not mushy like me. My oldest son and my daughter just laugh and give me a big hug.. Am I a worry or am I a worry???
Well, in my defence, I'd rather be mushy than nasty. Agreed?? Cheers...."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 18, 2008 4:37 PM

Malsie I am with you, I don't know what Sesquipedalian means either and I am too lazy on a sunday arvo to find out!!!

VDU I think I need a bullshit detecter that doesn't cause me as much pain as my current gut feelings are about this guy I have been seeing.....mainly during the week it turns out...am I the Monday-Friday girl???? Sooo because of my gut feelings, I think that this one will be doomed, because I am definitly not a monday-friday girl!!!!

I read somewhere on the blogs that if you feel happy and light about it, it will probably be good for you, but if you gut feeling is causing you pain...then it is a bad place to be in . Makes perfect sense really.

So I hope everyone else is having a gr8 weekend....jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at May 18, 2008 4:32 PM

Bob.. Believe me I can.. And I have..That's why I stop at 2... And you are right.. The guys think it's fun but the woman.. Let's not go there.... Lucky my "friends" know me and know I'm harmless so I'm safe in my inner sanctum but out of it.. 2's the limiu

Posted by: amdoingit at May 18, 2008 4:30 PM

Kittenonthekeys,

Have been hitting myself in the head with bricks for 24 hours trying to get that picture out of it.....thanks!!!

Symbiosis,

Have to laugh, but no such problem in my situation....that was just 2 very ordinary looking blokes wearing dresses!!!

Waterbombe,

No, they were quite serious about the whole deal.....one of them said to me that he was taking hormones in order to have the operation down the track.....I couldn't help myself, I said to him "Fella; they are not working".......cant understand why he was so indignant about that!!

Divekitty,

You really know how to make friends and influence people....but I saw the funny side of the comments you made....but I do have a sick sense of humour, and as another "non-breeder". I knew I was in trouble in that department when, on our wedding night, my wife said to me "well, I'm glad that part of our life is done and dusted"???!!!

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at May 18, 2008 4:28 PM

Note to self, attempt to casually insert "Sesquipedalian" into next email to VDU to amaze and delight her; better look it up in the dictionary first to get the faintest idea what it means...

Posted by: malsie at May 18, 2008 4:03 PM

This probably belongs more in the Intuition topic....but about this cosmos thing 'G'....I have a friend who is 2 days younger than me...we are almost chalk and cheese, but every morning we email and seem to have the same emotional outlook that day......I know when she is down before she tells me and vice versa, even though she is in Hobart and I am in Sydney....A great connection maybe the answer, but it happens so often is spooks us...and I have other friends who the same sort of thing happens with , as stated before. I can't give a scientific explanation, but just embrace the closeness ot generates.
Imagine if I had that connection with a fella.....woo hoo....:-) or not....?

Posted by: bm1960 at May 18, 2008 3:47 PM

Hi All,

Guys that drink and become touchy, feely are mostly lumbered into the "sleazy" basket....you might like to take note of that Libranmale. Women that do the same are (to us males) fun and flirtatious....somehow G, I cant see you getting into too much strife......or can you???

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at May 18, 2008 3:47 PM

G, my BS detector IS my gut... we might have to fine tune yours a bit more when we next meet!!

Oh, but we will be having way more than a couple of glasses of wine that weekend, won't we? Mmmmm, it'll all be BS by the end of the night, me thinks!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at May 18, 2008 3:25 PM

I like the line in a John Farnham song that says...time has a way of wounding what has healed...a different take on the old line...but unfortunatley true...for me anyway.

Posted by: istj54 at May 18, 2008 3:11 PM

Must be the planet alignments then 'G'....be far too coincidental for us all to be at the same stage in our cycles!!! :-)
Hope your flu clears up very soon,
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 18, 2008 3:10 PM

Hi ..Barb.. funny you should say that.. Was just talking to a friend of mine last night and we were both saying similar things.. Thought I was just being a tad soppy because I'm down with some silly flu like virus but maybe there is some cosmic force at work out there. Interesting.. "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 18, 2008 3:00 PM

VDU.. can I get a BS detector like yours please? I'm hopeless.. Tend to give people the benefit of the doubt even when my gut tells me I'm wrong.. Damn.. need to listen to it more don't I??..... "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 18, 2008 2:55 PM

VDU.. can I get a BS detector like yours please? I'm hopeless.. Tend to give people the benefit of the doubt even when my gut tells me I'm wrong.. Damn.. need to listen to it more don't I??..... "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 18, 2008 2:54 PM

Libranmale.. glad to see I'm not an orphan.. Very rarely do I have more than 2 glasses of wine when I'm out (especially on a new date) for that same reason. I just love everyone and am a real smooch. Can't help who I am!!
Lucky for you you're in another state.. You're safe (said tongue in cheek of course)... Good luck with your search.. Someone will be lucky!!! Cheers.. "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 18, 2008 2:43 PM

I have a very guarded heart, but this past few days, for some reason or another....hormones or the alignment of the planets for all I know :-)....I have actually had a hankering to want to open my heart and change my attitude...stangely, a few of my female friends have said something similar.
Cheers,
B.

Posted by: bm1960 at May 18, 2008 2:37 PM

Sesquipedalian... one of my favourite words but I never thought I'd see it used in a RSVP profile!!

On topic, the old saying "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" is true for me. Despite the broken hearts, each person I have loved has enriched me in some way and I'm better for the experience. An open heart is the only way for me but I also have an exceptionally good bullshit detector for protection!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at May 18, 2008 2:21 PM

Firelady.
to Leoman, that rated a belly laugh.
One of the reasons for the mules being used is it was harder to get attached to the cantankerous mules.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 18, 2008 2:08 PM

The horse is a Percheron, the French version of the British warhorse. Beautiful animals, a little smaller than the Clydesdale and Shire if I remember correctly, could be wrong. I spent a lot of my childhood in Normandy and I believe they came from that area, I saw lots growing up.

Very compact though. My father said they were used extensively early in the first world war for moving artillery pieces around - Brits and Aussies used mule teams in preference to the heavy horses but their temperament was always well regarded.

PS Leoman22 - Time also wounds all heels! :-)

Posted by: firelightlady at May 18, 2008 12:59 PM

Time heals all wounds....I'm not so sure Leoman, I guess the depth of the wound is directly related to the amount of time...but some things stick with you for life :)

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at May 18, 2008 12:35 PM

TW from the Percheron Association

The Percheron is a draught horse breed originating in France. Today the Percheron is the most widespread and successful of all heavy horse breeds, residing on all continents except the poles.

The breed is a direct descendant of the Flemish "Great Horse" and owes its beauty and balance in part to the Arabian, following the capture of Arabian horses during the Crusades. Arabians crossed with Flemish horses produced a heavy horse of beauty, style and athleticism, and became known as the Percheron, after the district of "Le Perche" where it was bred for many generations.

The Percheron is renowned for its combination of power and grace, and is an intelligent, willing worker. Extremely versatile, the Percheron easily adapts to varying climates and conditions. Percherons are noted for their heavy muscling, combined with clean legs and a long, free stride with an elevated lift of knees and hocks.

The Percheron is predominantly solid black or grey in colour, with chestnut horses appearing occasionally. Minimal white markings are preferred and the Percheron should be relatively free of "feather" (excess hair on the legs). The coat indicated good quality, with fine, short and dense hair which is easily maintained. The Percheron is a "good doing" breed requiring little maintenance. Percherons are also renowned for their strong, hard black feet, so shoeing requirements are minimal.

Percherons generally range between 16 to (very occasionally) 18.2 hands in height. Average height of the Australian Percheron is about 16.1 - 17 hands. Weight is generally in the range of 750 - 1100 kgs.

Bit from me: Percherons are also used in the scientific production of anti venom blood products and are used extensively for this purpose. They are heavy extremely good natured and very strong.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 18, 2008 12:21 PM

Time heals all wouds. Was told that a few years back and did not believe it but yeh it does. I believe in keeping an open heart.

Posted by: leoman22 at May 18, 2008 11:28 AM

Perth and OG: I read a Geographic article maybe 20 years ago about a woman who rode a special breed of horse along one of the old crusader routes - Spain to Israel from memory.

Said it was the same breed they used - perjeron or similar name from memory. Strong enough in the legs and back to carry man and armour at a gallop when charging, and most interesting to me, bred to have a very high threshold of pain, to let it take more wounding before it forgot its manners.

She said hers had demonstrated that insensitivity a couple of times when hurt along the way.

Can either of you add? I bartered my 40 years' collection of Geographics in 1999 for an extra 2 manhours of furniture removal.

Posted by: timewarp1 at May 18, 2008 10:20 AM

...someone here will never be a yummy mummy!

Posted by: istj54 at May 18, 2008 9:47 AM

Divekitty, probably not the best expression to use to describe those of us that have children !

Arent you lucky that your parents didn't feel the same way ?!!!!

Each of us have our own life choices to make. Why denigrate MOST of us for having a different choice to you ? And if not having children is soooo important to you, don't date men who have a different agenda and you won't get hurt :)

Posted by: jenjen57 at May 18, 2008 8:48 AM

Settle guys; my two are already set on their own paths towards medicine, and law (or possibly also medicine). They have been raised to be openhearted and generous. They will look after you... I just hope there is someone out there prepared to do the plumbing - lol!

My life is so very much richer for having 'groinfruit' . Their father and I have merely replaced ourselves not exactly a population boom - I wish I could have had more but I am not good at 'breeding' - quality then instead of quantity.

Perhaps such intolerant genes are better not replicated?? Or maybe it is just the terminology that upsets.

Live and let live. In 20 or so years the children I have 'bred' will be making choices for the retirees and pensioners amongst us then... without immediate family to assist or help support them.
Things that make you go hmmmm...

PS there is no senility in my family and we mostly live into the late 90's so I have been very careful raising my kids to know I will be living large and leaving them no inheritance until at least 95 - thus I get quite a few years between HECS fees and death to have fun! lol
Lighten up - none of us get out of here alive!

Posted by: firelightlady at May 18, 2008 2:31 AM

Relationships can end with no broken hearts, no hard feelings and a completely normal friendship at the other end, rare but it happens.

If you shut yourself off to love because you've been hurt we'd all be licking our wounds after our first teenage fling. I don't think people set out to hurt others on purpose, unless they are just downright nasty people to the core, but sometimes its inevitable, specially when one ends up with someone who is very clingy and needy in the relationship.

Not much point in starting a relationship if you are not open to the possiblity of being hurt - only way to avoid that is to avoid the whole couple thing.

IrishMark - great profile, very witty and good to read - beats the usual crap you read profile after profile...it should be a hit :) Good luck!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at May 17, 2008 8:37 PM

Guiltypleasure, Well written, very well written in fact, good for you, at last some style, class and honesty written straight from the heart. Good on you !

Posted by: iaminperth at May 17, 2008 8:27 PM

If your a a romantic, its very dangerous. Age has no barrriers I am over 50 and consider myself to be a romantic. I still believe in buying flowers for girls and romancing them.
My downfall is a couple of drinks, I get hopelesly romantic and smootchy which is usually my downfall. Ahh but I keep on doing it.
Such is life.

Posted by: libranmale at May 17, 2008 7:13 PM

Hi Perth,
yes well aware of the crossing of them, seems most people can blame Hollyrook for the romantic idea of a knights horse, In actual fact it would have been at home in front of a plough.

GP, her decission her words, your decission your words, could be mutually offensive. OooHhhMmm
Cheers OG.

Posted by: oldergent at May 17, 2008 6:47 PM

HHmmmmm...breeders. nice term for the parents amongst those on RSVP......not.....................K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 17, 2008 5:41 PM

Well l guess anyone who saw the profile would probably guess that the pups were indeed the ones in the pic..................K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 17, 2008 5:38 PM

Divekitty to bring the vexing issue of your principles being compromised by a 'breeder' to a head, perhaps you may wish to tell him your description of him to his face and that you have decided to make an exception of him.

A more objectionable, disrespectful and condescending descriptor would be hard to think of. A little like me describing you Divekitty as a waste of space.

I'm a parent. I'm not a bloody brood-mare, nor am I contributing to an increase in the world's population. My children are young people and future contributors to your retirement home and medically intense lifestyle - they are not groin-fruit. God what an awful term that is. I'm not a second class citizen for my life choices, nor am I someone for whom another should have to compromise their principles.

I've made my choices, the same as everyone here. To be described for those choices in such an openly disparaging way is nothing less than vilification. Remember that the next time you posit an opinion.

Posted by: guiltypleasure at May 17, 2008 5:06 PM

OG, Did you know that some of the best Hunters in the world are a cross between a Thoroughbred and a Clydesdale. The result is an extremely agile, large sound horse with the speed of the thoroughbred and the strength and endurance of the Clydesdale. Also the temperament can be nearly perfect blending the docility of the
Clydesdale with the fire of the Thoroughbred. Also leg problems inherent in the Thoroughbred horse are helped immensely with this combination. Many of the good Irish hunters are bred this way.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 17, 2008 5:03 PM

Just for the record, the 'puppies' I was referring to were two tan coloured dogs curled up together on the profile posted by Irish. For all the giggling gaggle of women making tediously stupid remarks I hope this clarifies the situation. Irish I did not mean any offence I am simply an animal lover.

Posted by: iaminperth at May 17, 2008 4:56 PM

Firelight @ 10.27 am
So true, but 99% it seems to me want to persist trying to fill the bottle of their self image, I think I once used the comparison of a Show pony and a Clydesdale, and got roundly howled down at the time. Never could understand, being a country boy what was wrong with the Clydesdale.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at May 17, 2008 4:36 PM

Divekitty - great profile! Good luck with finding someone compatible, at least you are up front.

Completely with you re the breeding thing. I'd rather not contribute towards bumping up our earth's population up by another billion or two.... Soylent Green anyone?

One good thing about turning 40, is that the heat from others starts to calm down as you slip into the "too old for groin fruit" category...

Cheers, Helen

Posted by: symbiosis66 at May 17, 2008 4:22 PM

Hi Bob, don't worry, I'm not too concerned with that pesky personality type box. I refuse to be bound by boxes!!

Your v funny story about men in dresses made me remember a similar situation I had at work about 15 years ago. I was responsible for doing the initial interviews with job seekers that came to use our training services and one of the questions on the form was to do with "barriers to employment". This one tall, attractive, well-endowed blonde woman had ticked the "other" box under barriers. When I questioned her she stated that "she" used to be a "he"....I'm pretty observant and didn't pick it at all. Neither did her new employer in women's retail fashion.....

istj54, you are right on there! I reckon if you really feel close and emotional with someone, how on earth could you keep things from them!!??

Re puppies, I've had the unfortunate image of furry boobs in my damn head all day....

Cheers Helen

Posted by: symbiosis66 at May 17, 2008 4:08 PM

Divekitty, what's with the knocking of' 'breeders'? Aren't you, and I assume a few others who know you, grateful that there is a breeder in your immediate ancestry?

The breeders are producing and raising the nurses, doctors, cleaners etc who will look after you when you eventually land in the Old Folks Home. If you don't breed, you don't produce the generation that provides for your own generation when it ages.

I'm not saying you have to breed, of course you don't, but the non-breeders are getting a bit of a free ride for their future. So perhaps a more respectful term for people who have children might be worth a thought.

Bob, were those guys in dresses having a lend of you? Or did they go about their daily business like that?

Posted by: waterbombe at May 17, 2008 2:45 PM

Bob,

In answer to your question about what I was doing in order to see furry boobs; I'd like to say I was watching a documentary on SBS, but I wasn't.

The truth is, years ago I was with some friends, walking down Brunswick St in Brisbane on my way to a nightclub when I bumped into an acquaintance of a gay friend of mine's whom I had met once at his house. The acquaintance was a pre-operative transsexual with breasts who happened to be wearing a very revealing top with a push-up bra underneath and had decided not to shave his chest hair, hence the furry boobs.

Wish you didn't know now?

Back to the topic of open hearts please. I will speak no further of puppies.

Posted by: kittenonthekeys at May 17, 2008 2:34 PM

Firelight - loved your metaphor at 10.27am, and miss my dog. And the one before. Can't have one where I rent, or even a cat.

Posted by: timewarp1 at May 17, 2008 1:44 PM

On this subject I would simply say that it is very hard to decant olive oil from a 5 litre container into a narrow neck bottle (without a funnel). There is waste, mess and sometimes only limited success with a measure of frustration.

Occasionally you can get through and it pours out over the top. Often by that time you are left wondering if it would be easier to resort to less generous containers.
Sometimes it is just perfect - either way it needs a lot of care (I know buy a funnel, already I do but they end up in the garage).
Sometimes it would be easier to just get an olive oil spray.

In the same way it is very hard to get someone with a closed heart to accept genuine affection, care, compassion and love. It is all just too closed up. So then you go back to the market and look for a spray or a funnel or a jug... the original bottle gets forgotten, dusty, off to the op shop, picked again for it's great looks and the cycle begins again...

Puppies?? small immature canines surely?? Mine is bringing me his lead so time to go.

Posted by: firelightlady at May 17, 2008 10:27 AM

I've got more thoughts too...I wasn't interpreting opening up as blathering our feelings endlessly but as a personal emotional feeling. Allow yourself to feel but you don't need to tell anyone about it. I think men get scared off when women are too emotional and want to talk feelings all the time....I'm sick of writing the word feelings now.
Symbiosis...you looked at it more as a keeping secrets thing and I can agree about how that might muck up a relationship. Members of my family are a bit like that and it drives me crazy...in the end you just don't want to know.

Posted by: istj54 at May 17, 2008 6:00 AM

Hey Irishmark, I love your profile. Very smart move, BTW, you have plenty of attention now :-) I'd love to respond to you, but I'm just not a breeder. Sheesh, what's with all the breeders on this site anyway? Where are all the guys who don't have or want kids?
On to the open heart thing, I'd say do NOT EVER compromise your principles!! I am currently having my heart broken by a breeder I made an exception for. More fool me. Stay true to yourselves ppl, and what is important to you! ...even if that means staying single for a year or three...

Posted by: divekitty at May 17, 2008 5:46 AM

Ainslie: They are right. Never put up with misbehaviour towards you even once, because misbehaviour is an attempt to put you down, and that comes from a wish for power over you, which is the opposite of a wish to be allowed to cherish you. Just say "Next!"

Be assertive about what kinds of treatment are good enough for you to accept.

It won't stop all the undesireables from trying to hit on you and get you under their thumb (the classier the girl, the bigger the prize when you've subdued her.)

But it will deter the wimps, both nice and nasty, and will attract a more dynamic class of nice man, who feels that he deserves a more confident (and therefore higher-status) girl.

In your profile, I read " i'd like to think i'm pretty easy going" to mean "I'll let you get away with stuff." Adding something about "but I don't put up with bad behaviour" might clarify what you intend to get. All the best to you, and goodnight all.

Posted by: timewarp1 at May 17, 2008 12:32 AM

Hi Symbiosis,

I would let the idea that you cant determine your personality trait phase me too much if I were you. I think we are all a bit multiple personality depending upon the circumstances or the situation in which we find ourselves.

Kittenonthekeys,

Nothing wrong with being yourself...why change just because some other person doesn't get you? Do I dare ask what you were doing in order to see the furry boobs?
In a past job (about 1980), I had to interview a couple of people about their superannuation. Walked around the corner and confronted by 2 guys....wearing housedresses....5 o'clock shadows...the lot....basically it was two rough looking blokes dressed as women; I almost cried from laughing later.

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at May 16, 2008 11:25 PM

Jewels... I'm sure when it feels right you'll let go. I know I'm a bit wary these days but I won't hold back when the time comes.
Istj is spot on. When feelings are there, they're just there and not much we can do about it. Trying to deny or hide them will just play havoc with you so best to just go with the flow. Live and let live... Life's too short Jewels and we don't get any younger.. Go for it!!!! .... Good luck... "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 16, 2008 11:15 PM

Irish..as for the grannies?? Don't go there darling.. you'll have enough in your own age bracket so just ignore Marcus.. he's stirring the pot... Behave Marcus.!!!!! ....."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 16, 2008 11:03 PM

Yes guiltypleasure, I know puppies are boobs but there was an earlier reference to the puppies being furry which conjures up other references like testicles as well as an image of a pre-op transexual I once saw who had furry boobs. Irishmark, nice to see you have a sense of humour, and you're obviously anything but a dictionary (and an American dictionary at that) interpretation.

Posted by: kittenonthekeys at May 16, 2008 10:33 PM

"Kittenonthekeys,'puppies' are often a female anatomical reference. Or so my friend says after my infamous Christmas Red Dress Incident. Hmmmmm."

I believe her comment was in jest, or at least I hope so as I don't know who she is and therefore would presume that nobody would make assumptions on my character without actually knowing me but I digress.

Posted by: irishmark1978 at May 16, 2008 10:29 PM

Irishmark1978, I'ma glass half full gal too - it's a celebratory song, but there'sno reason it can't be used at a divorce party. Either that or I've got a screwed up notion of what optimism is. And I'm delighted that your puppies are for public consumption. It's enough to gladden anyones heart.

Kittenonthekeys,'puppies' are often a female anatomical reference. Or so my friend says after my infamous Christmas Red Dress Incident. Hmmmmm.

Posted by: guiltypleasure at May 16, 2008 10:13 PM

Well indeed they are, because they from both sides of the spectrum I decided that I wouldn't like nature taking its course.

dictionary.com, strange interpretation but I couldn't argue with a dictionary could I.

Posted by: irishmark1978 at May 16, 2008 10:12 PM

Irishmark...if you (or anyone else) are after an interesting headline for your profile, you can go to coolsig.com and choose whichever you want. It's a site for signature sayings, but I've noticed people here on RSVP have used the same sayings for their headlines!

While on this subject, my favourite joke from the joke category (on that site) is...

A priest, a nun, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a cowboy, a lawyer, a salesman, and a blonde all walk in to a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, is this some kind of joke?"

Happy blogging!

Posted by: lovemuzik at May 16, 2008 10:03 PM

dictionary.com describes puppy/puppies as (definition no. 4); a presuming, conceited, or empty-headed young man.

Couldn't find a definition for the other sort of 'puppies' that guiltypleasure is referring to.

Are they de-sexed?

Posted by: kittenonthekeys at May 16, 2008 10:00 PM

My puppies are for public consumption, I'm not ashamed of them ;-).

As for your declaration that the song is for a divorce, I beg to differ, I'm a glass half full kind of guy, the lyrics are sweet and to the point and it's got a funky rythm ;-)

Posted by: irishmark1978 at May 16, 2008 9:57 PM

Guiltypleasure, but he really does have lovely puppies! Nice and furry too....

Posted by: symbiosis66 at May 16, 2008 9:51 PM

Irishmark1978, 'Dance Me to the End of Love' is the perfect divorce dance...

IaminPerth, if you are referring to a man's puppies, I think that may be too much information...

Posted by: guiltypleasure at May 16, 2008 9:28 PM

I too have had more thoughts....Men I date think I'm a bit of an ice queen and try to get me to open up, yet on the other hand, my male friends whinge to me about the women they date; how they're always at them to open up and how they don't want to. One of them complained that he just wants to say what he has to say once and not spend the next hour talking about it. I'm the same. Some of us express our emotions succinctly. Sometimes the expression is not noticed or comprehended and even if we try to open up, it's to no avail.

Posted by: kittenonthekeys at May 16, 2008 9:27 PM

Read Hunter Fear and Loathing every year, keeps my edge. I'm glad somebody noticed my gonzo profile. Would rather look like Johnny Depp than Hunter S bit I'll take what I'm given ;-).

Grannies, hhmmm, haven't really tread that path but there's always a first time ;-). You never know till you try.

Posted by: irishmark1978 at May 16, 2008 9:27 PM

Its a very pertinent question this one, especially for people who have been hurt badly. While I'm sure that everyone has been hurt in relationships and to some extent that is the nature of the beast, I think its also true that some people are better able to cope with that hurt than others, or at least are able to bounce back sooner.

For those who do not bounce back easily, it can be very challenging to open up to another person, and I suspect that even if you do open up again, you never make yourself as vulnerable as you did before. It is simply part of human nature that we seek to avoid pain wherever possible, and this is true of emotional pain just as much as physical pain.

In the end, I guess you have a choice; you can either put yourself out there in the hope that you will find love, and in so doing take the risk that you (probably) will get hurt again, or you can protect yourself from being hurt again at the cost of being alone. The question then becomes one of what is more important to you: finding love, or not getting hurt - because you can't have both!

Speaking for myself, I have one foot in each camp (and have for a while)

Posted by: sesquipedalian76 at May 16, 2008 9:25 PM

IrishMark

Well done mate, you have gained high approval marks from most of the regular bloggers here, that is truly hard to do.

Posted by: virgil at May 16, 2008 9:15 PM

Ohhh, I've just had some more thoughts on this open/closed hearted bizo!!

I sadly ended my previous relationship of five years because he (other half) was REALLY closed/off (closed-hearted) and extremely private....to the point that he didn't even seem to trust me, or his family. It was very sad, as I loved him and wanted to share things with him, but it was like banging my head against a brick wall. He would keep all sorts of things to himself and wouldn't even share opinions on anything of substance.

So yes, in addition to my previous post about the dangers of being too "open", I think being closed off, when it's not necessary or warranted (once trust has been established/gotten to know each other), is sad and destructive. Doesn't lead to any kind of relationship nirvana....

Cheers, Symbiosis (Helen)

Posted by: symbiosis66 at May 16, 2008 8:40 PM

...that was a funny one L&T!

Posted by: istj54 at May 16, 2008 8:28 PM

Thanks for the insight lovemuzik. Unfortunately tone and pitch is not part of the written word. I've removed the offending statement on my headline, I've always been slightly unsure. As for the story ending, I think I'll leave that in, it's part of the overall effect. Thank you for your tips though, they are appreciated.

Posted by: irishmark1978 at May 16, 2008 8:20 PM

Great topic! I'm a weird mixture of open and private. I envy really open people, but don't always envy the drama they sometimes get tangled up in :-)

I found the "personality type" section in my profile hard to fill out, as I kept changing it from "average" to "private" and back again. Perhaps I'm multiple personality - yikes that's all I need!.....then I realised that someone (such as myself) who has put up a profile on the WWW, with photos, isn't really that private after all!

I think this form of meeting people can be a bit risky for really open-hearted people. I personally think that it's good to be watchful and really get to know someone slowly at the start of a potential relationship...weed out the psychopaths, stalkers, users, weirdos etc!

But being too cautious can have it's risks too perhaps?? You miss out on different experiences and "play it safe". I've missed out on being in several short-term relationships when I was younger, due to my "slowness" at the start of a relationship. But I don't really have any regrets looking back, as I know they weren't the right people for me to be with at the time anyway....

Cheers, Symbiosis

Posted by: symbiosis66 at May 16, 2008 8:18 PM

Mark.
Don't often see Hunter S Thompson mentioned here as a favourite author.
I read Fear and Loathing every few years to bring back memories.
You look like Hunter S with the hair do, sunnies and tight shirt; the profile style has that gonzo edge too.
A splash with some of the girls too...Do you do grannies? :-}
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at May 16, 2008 8:07 PM

Your heart opens up whether you think you are being reserved or have a heart on your sleeve approach...how do you hold back feelings? They are just there when they are there. You may deny them and think you are holding back but all you are doing is just not revealing them...you still feel them.
We should all be open to our feelings as often as we can. They tell us who we are and what we care about in life. When we stop feeling it will be a sad day...enjoy all the feelings and emotions both happy and sad and just get out there and live life to the full.
Many of us here have dogs...would we love them as much if they didn't show those feelings of love that they find impossible to hide?...they'd be cats then:))
Feelings, nothing more than feelings.....that's for you Jenniferhi:))

Posted by: istj54 at May 16, 2008 7:57 PM

Back on topic, In my experience as I've stated I've been very open with partners/potential partners from day one. It's just the way I'm built. It causes me some grief but I like to live a little on the edge so wearing my heart on my sleeve just comes naturally. I think being open is a personal choice but it can be very rewarding with the right person as it allows a strong bond to be built up pretty quickly. Getting your heart broken although never nice is part of life, it happens to us all. Live by the motto "its not how hard you go down, its how hard you get back you".

Posted by: irishmark1978 at May 16, 2008 7:31 PM

Irishmark...I think your little scenario should end with "Me: Well you look lovely if you don't mind me saying?" then go straight into your comment..."Well now that we have the formalities out of the..."

I would also remove the "(I feel dirty after that statement)" from your headline.

If you follow the above advice, I don't guarantee your profile will be flooded with hundreds of kisses, but I guarantee you will have removed some subtle negative connotations from your profile. Unless that's what you want, then please leave as is and ignore my suggestions. Good luck.

Happy blogging!

Posted by: lovemuzik at May 16, 2008 7:04 PM

irish, great profile, lovely smile and cute dogs....you will be snapped up as kaz and amdoingit have already suggested....but you may have to kiss a few frogs/frogettes (the male equivalent) before you find your princess!!!!!

Online dating can be a minefield, you will meet some..lets say unusual people along the way, but it can be a lot of fun and you will meet some genuine and lovely people on your journey!!!

Now to topic....a broken heart....if you are in love, and have been for a number of years, and the relationship ends badly.....there is a 99% chance that you will end up with a broken heart. And from my experience, a broken heart, the pain you go thru, it takes ages to get over. It is also something that you never forget, no matter how many years pass.

But you do get over it and move on.

So, if any of you are like me, you have had relationships, some long, some short, but you always keep a bit of your heart safe, closed off so you don't get badly hurt again. This way you can stay happy, move on when other relationships break apart, and you seem to always be in control of your life. And this works most of the time....I know, have been doing it for a while.

But what happens when you meet someone that you really like? Do you open your heart up? Your whole heart...Do you take a huge risk of maybe being hurt and rejected?

Ant advice will be appreciated...have a lovely night all...jewelsholdingontoherheart!!!!!

Posted by: junebaby57 at May 16, 2008 6:54 PM

The full title of the book in my previous post is called Are You Ready for Love: Discover the Skills of Romance. I only recommend it to someone who's been single for a long time like me. Each of the ten chapters focuses on a skill that the author believes in necessary for a happy healthy relationship, namely:

1. Are you willing to take a chance on love?
2. Do you have realistic expectations of love?
3. Are you able to make and keep a commitment to love?
4. Is there room in your life for love?
5. Can you use money to support and enhance love? (meaning you're neither an extreme spendthrift or an extreme saver)
6. Can you give and receive sexual pleasure?
7. Can you balance your needs with someone else's needs?
8. Are your communication skills sufficient for love?
9. Can you take a lighthearted approach to love?
10. Can you focus on love in the Here-and-Now?

Basically, if you can answer 'yes' to all the above questions, then you're ready for love (and you don't need to read this book.)

If nothing else, it's an interesting read. It was for me.

Posted by: lovemuzik at May 16, 2008 6:45 PM

Thank you all for the kind words regarding my profile. I just wanted it to be different but still reflect a bit of me. Jaminperth, they are sitting beside me now, I'll pass on your love.

Jenniferhi, I'll go and find the song in question. Thanks for the tip.

I actually have not received much response for my profile thus far so thats why I asked about it. Sometimes different does not necessarily mean good but I feel a little vindicated after your kind words.

Istj54, yes I have my accent intact, I've only been in Oz for a few years and they say the Irish and Scottish never real lose their accent anyway.

Posted by: irishmark1978 at May 16, 2008 6:13 PM

Hey Irish, Love your puppies !!!!

Posted by: iaminperth at May 16, 2008 5:53 PM

"G", the laddie has been given the seal of approval.....Mike, no greater approval than that of "G"......

Lovemusik, sounds like an interesting book..
have never read any of the self helpers out there, bit of a sceptic actually, but like to read snippets here and there................K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 16, 2008 5:44 PM

Forget 'How dangerous is an open heart?' After lovemuzik's post it should be called: How dangerous is admitting that you read books called 'Are You Ready For Love?'

Posted by: kittenonthekeys at May 16, 2008 5:42 PM

Irishmark...you are very cute...do you have an accent?...is that opening up?

Posted by: istj54 at May 16, 2008 5:32 PM

To ask how dangerous is an open heart is - to me - like asking: How dangerous is to let yourself open up to being loved? I think the answer is the same for both: The danger lies in the risks you expose yourself to.

If you allow yourself to fall in love with someone (ie open up your heart to them) your risk:

- Getting hurt
- Being rejected
- Suffering an emotional or financial loss if the relationship ends.
- Putting more into the relationship that you get out of it.
- Choosing the wrong person
- Catching a sexual transmitted disease
- Losing your independence and freedom
- Becoming disappointed and disillusioned if love doesn't live up to your expectations.

Okay, so we expose ourselves to these risks. But we also expose ourselves to the chance of finding everlasting happiness and love if we fall in love with the right person for us. And - to me - that sounds like a chance I'd like to take using caution and my intuition along the way.

For anyone who's interested, I found the above list of risks on page 2 of the book titled Are You Ready for Love? By Ellen Lederman (Pocket Books, 1992).

Happy blogging!

Posted by: lovemuzik at May 16, 2008 5:27 PM

Oh Irishmark - That was just intution there re you possibly liking the song. Do hope so! Getting by blog topics mixed but whatever. Smiling here.
Enjoy!

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at May 16, 2008 5:12 PM

Aye Kaz, to be sure, to be sure.. The laddie will be snapped up Tis a certainty...

Nice profile Irish..Different and it will work a treat..

Good luck..."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at May 16, 2008 5:07 PM

irishmark - I like your profile too. And good luck on your search.
Your music - excellent taste. You pulled two of my absolute favourites there. 'Into the mystic' is my favourite by Morrison and well Leonard Cohen - what can you say? His music so sexy, sensual, deep, mmmmm. Love him.
Have a listen to Cowboy Junkies - 'Mariners Song'. Think you'll like it.

Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at May 16, 2008 5:06 PM

It takes me a long time to start opening my heart up - around 6 months and the last time that happened was nearly 5 years ago. I've never been hurt, it's just the way I am but I find it's the men I go out with who open their hearts pretty quickly. Whether it's in an attempt to get me to open mine faster, I don't know but once someone starts pressuring me to open up before I'm ready, I find that smothering and I back off. Needless to say, that puts the guys off too and they're the ones who end up getting hurt.

I'm inclined to think that some people deliberately keep their hearts closed in the belief that once they find the right person, the heart will open up automatically.

Posted by: kittenonthekeys at May 16, 2008 4:33 PM

I don't necessarily find first dates difficult but because I am quite open and sometimes the conversation can stray into areas best left till at least the fourth month of a relationship ;-). I'd like to think that openness would not put somebody off but you never know. Perhaps on my next date I should bring a comments page that they can fill in at the end of date for some feedback ;-).

Bottom line is that being very open on a first date probably does not help your cause but the way I look at it is that thats the way I am and would be doing myself and my date a disservice to pretend to be something that I'm not. How often do you hear about people ordering from the menu and not getting what was advertised ;-)

Posted by: irishmark1978 at May 16, 2008 4:22 PM

Nice profile, Irishmark. A question about wedding music on a first date would throw you wouldn't it....it could have been a 'test' question to see how wedded you were to the notion of finding someone fast, but like all 'tests', it was faulty. But it does make you wary of the rsvp experience...the first few dates are like treading a minefield...it is so easy to put people off. Well, I should just speak for myself! :-) Lol. But do you find the first few dates, being an open person as you are, a bit difficult ?

Posted by: waterbombe at May 16, 2008 4:04 PM

Good profile Irishmark, quite funny and informative... Good luck with it .......Some young lovely will snap you up...... to be sure ;-)..............K

Posted by: auntykaz at May 16, 2008 3:02 PM

Thank you kindly for the endorsement. I hope things go OK for her.

Speaking about being open I went on a date a few years back and the days was going well, the wine was flowing, the food was tasty, the conversation was interesting. Cue a question about wedding music to which I replied that I have already picked out what I would like to hear for my first and second dance (please keep in mind that this was a subject I had discussed with friends a few days previous and then started to search as we were going to compare). Well the day ended and off i went only to arrive home to a message that it was probably best to leave it at that.

So to summarise perhaps openness should be kept until at least the second date ;-)

If anyone is wondering...

First dance: Dance me to the end of Love by Leonard Cohen

Second dance: Into the Mystic by Van Morrison

;-)

Posted by: irishmark1978 at May 16, 2008 2:44 PM

Posted by: ainslie1988 at May 16, 2008 12:11 PM

I endorse everything that Irishmark says. Please dont put up with any crap.It is better to be alone for a little while than allow someone to damage you for the rest of your life.

When my mates get together who are all fathers of daughters your age we talk about situations such as yours. Most of us think of what we did to other blokes daughters when we were young and worry a lot.

I know it sound trite but it is true - there are many fish in the sea. Be fussy and throw it back unless you are completely happy.

Remain true to yourself.

The blogs on RSVP can be quite comforting so keep in touch

Posted by: grego7 at May 16, 2008 2:04 PM

"After being emotionally and even sexually abused in a previous relationship, it's darn near impossible to really be open to a new relationship"

Thats very unfortunate but some people are just not good people. I hope things are going better for you now. Obviously because of your past experiences it is understandable for you to be cautious. However I was always taught to never take it out on the next one, they've done nothing to deserve the cold shoulder treatment and as I'm a positive person by nature I believe in the inherent goodness in most people.

"And already i find myself in fledgling stages of a possible relationship excusing treatment i would not enjoy long term!"

Your a young girl sweetheart just put a stop to any behaviour that does not sit well with your moral compass. Perhaps you are too eager for a relationship and therefore are more likely to put up with things you should say no to. I've been there many times when I just wanted someone and therefore would blind myself to the obvious problems in my relationship, in the long run you can't kid yourself.

Posted by: irishmark1978 at May 16, 2008 12:44 PM

I agree irishmark1987, if you're an open person you get trod on a bit, but keep hoping you;ll find the right one who will respect you and take love/respect that side to you too. After being emotionally and even sexually abused in a previous relationship, it's darn near impossible to really be open to a new relationship, despite much lonliness! And already i find myself in fledgling stages of a possible relationship excusing treatment i would not enjoy long term!
What can be done to get past this? In my head, it's as simple as find the right guy!

Posted by: ainslie1988 at May 16, 2008 12:11 PM

Irishmark

Welcome to the blogs, I had a look at your profile, and it seems very good, imaginitively set out, and should prove to be a winner.

Posted by: virgil at May 16, 2008 12:10 PM

Hello people, first time blogger here.
I've always been open hearted in all my relationships and because of that I suppose I've been taken advantage of on numerous occasions. Hurt me once shame on you" "Hurt me twice shame on me", tis very true. Would I change myself for this reason? My relationships with women would be a lot more straight forward if I did but what can I say I'm an old romantic so I believe that the right girl will take care and treat this aspect of my personality with the respect needed. Being open hearted is not often rewarded but worth it in the long run.

p.s. on a unrelated note I'm quite new to this internet dating thing and would appreciate any constructive criticism on my profile, couldn't bloody think of what way to set it up so I attempted to be funny

Posted by: irishmark1978 at May 16, 2008 11:00 AM