RSVP Blog
SEX, SHOULD WE HAVE IT SOONER OR LATER?
How long should you wait to have sex, does it matter if you sleep with someone on the first date?
Is it worse for a man to be promiscuous or a woman?
Sexual health? Whose responsibility is it - should you make your partner provide a medical certificate before sleeping with them?
Posted by March 25, 2008 9:01 AM
Latest Comments
WnW @ 7.49am: I agree, but I think that once you get to love her, her looks become more beloved, rather than more beautiful. That's how it's been for me.
I also noticed in my early 20s that when a girl (any of them) fell asleep with her head in my lap, her face, lit by midnightish moonlight through the windscreen of my Mum's Zephyr, actually did become more beautiful. Because it was totally calm and relaxed.
Naughty Officer Krupke at 6.26am Sunday was talking about "the Woodstock 1960s era when NO woman was sexually unattractive."
That was the era when at South Molle Island Resort they had beauty competitions in the evening, in which the contestants wore bags over their heads, so that the young male voters/punters wouldn't be distracted from the bits that really mattered.
Can't remember now from the article in Pix whether they wore togs or wet t-shirts - I think the wet cold t-shirt nipples only came into prominence in the 70s.
Even back then, I for one wasn't looking for something as narrow-spectrum as a mindless f**kbuddy, so I waited till I'd heard a girl talk for a while, before I decided if she was shag-material for me.
JenJen @ 10.16pm: I am very disappointed in you, for the first time ever.
That wasn't funny - it was blatantly and offensively ageist, and I would have chopped it, Karina. Far more inyerface to seniors than our misenthropes are to women.
In 20 years time when I'm 92, and a third of it applies to me and/or to her, we'll still get by, and be glad the neighbours are deaf. For their sake. Jealousy's a curse.
Posted by: timewarp1 at March 31, 2008 10:01 AM
Dodgy Roger has asked me to post something for him from his Sunday sermon as he has had difficulties in logging on.
Dodgy wants to say-
‘No need to worry too much about whether to have sex on the first date or twenty months down the track.
It will all be done for you. Just line yourself up a sleaze bag from the males on this site:
“Computer predators lure women into face-to-face danger
Article from:
Paula Doneman
March 29, 2008 11:00pm
News Limited
HOPES of internet romance have turned into nightmares for some Queensland women who have allegedly been raped by men they have met through online dating.
However, police said the crime was under-reported as victims often were embarrassed or blamed themselves.
Detective Inspector Cameron Harsley said police were yet to receive any formal complaints. However, police and sexual assault services had been told of several cases of rape in recent months.
"Anecdotally some women feel they haven't been raped because they have entered into a date and feel they have allowed it to happen," said Det-Insp Harsley of the Sex Crimes Group, State Crime Operations Command.
"Offenders who plan an attack on someone are clever enough to have the circumstances sit in their favour."
He said internet dating was replacing more traditional forms of meeting the opposite sex and often lulled some users into a false sense of security.
"Some people think it is a safer process, but the same dangers exist as if they were meeting for the first time at a bar or hotel," he said.
In many cases, people felt they were more in control because there was no physical contact as they began communicating with potential suitors.
"Many people assume rape is always committed by an unknown offender stalking a woman, but we know that is not the case – most people are raped by people they know or have had contact with," Det-Insp Harsley said.
He urged anyone using online dating to be vigilant about personal safety and to seek help if they were attacked.
"We encourage victims to at least contact sexual assault services and seek medical help and, if they can, get forensically examined," he said.
Police would then be in a better position to proceed rather than if victims waited to make a complaint six months later.
The Brisbane Sexual Assault Service confirmed it had received complaints from women who had been raped by men they met on internet dating sites.
Hannah Schwartz, general manager of internet dating company rsvp.com.au, said the company provided its clients with a safety guide and encouraged them to adopt protective behaviour.
Ms Schwartz said the company would remove a person's profile from the site if there were repeated complaints, and she was not aware of anyone who had been raped as a result of internet dating."
Posted by: richardzkruspe at March 31, 2008 9:58 AM
I like the John Gray books, Mars & Venus, because I had not previously realized the different thinking patterns between men and women.
Different value structures. The claim by Boyd that he is so different from both men and women, so he is from Pluto.
I'm not sure of the correct term so I will use the scientific descriptor of "bits".
I was under the impression that males had 51 male bits and 50 female bits and females had it the other way around. Now if that is right, it would seem we are a lot closer than we may have thought.
But 55% Mars & 45% venus, to me is just that, 0% Pluto?
Posted by: virgil at March 31, 2008 9:47 AM
timewarp, yes, was contemplating the issue of what attracts females or males to a profile, with my conclusion being you really only want to attract the appropriate person who resonates with what you have to write - so if you're a female writing and the majority of men (should that indeed be the case) just don't "get it", they're obviously not the man for you anyway.
Marcus, have absolutely no idea what you have against yoga! It's exceedingly good for the body and soul. It certainly increases flexibility. You'd like that, wouldn't you??
himagain, you asked for thoughts on self help books. I agree that like with all things, there's so many different opinions - with so many contradicting each other - it can be confusing. But I don't take anything I read onboard as an "absolute" truth; just thoughts to ponder, sift through the beliefs I already hold to see if they add anything to them, or indeed consider them as a whole new concept if it's not something I already hold as a belief - in other words be shown a totally different way of approaching something rather than be closed minded.
Then the things I've found of value, stay with me, and the rest drift off into the ether quite happily....
Posted by: malsie at March 31, 2008 9:01 AM
Virgil - I'm sure I've said this before, but just in case I haven't - I like your profile. :-)
Posted by: sunrizesiesta at March 30, 2008 5:29 PM
I feel very honoured for you to say that Deborah, and I find your profile and what you write here really imaginitive and well thought out and stated. Thank you
Doug
Posted by: virgil at March 31, 2008 8:57 AM
What makes a person attractive (to you)? I think it's an interesting question and it's certainly more than just looks. I also believe, as I hinted below, that if you really click with someone they actually become more attractive to you (physically). Is this because you forgive them their inadequacies (which we all have) or that we actually learn to like them and find them cute? I've had this ... where a person actually looks different once you start to click and think the phenominon is very interesting.
Posted by: woodnwine at March 31, 2008 7:49 AM
himagain - I have read a few relationship books that people have recommended and they can give some good tips just so long as you don't try to live your life by them .... after all, each person is different.
Posted by: woodnwine at March 31, 2008 7:44 AM
guiltypleasure @ 5.50pm: After demolishing the High Panjandrum so deliciously, you gave us golden advice. Please do stay and grace the sandpit!
oohlala1 @ 12.48pm posted:
"...the blog hogs get annoyed about new people and be rude all the time. Look how Richard has been rude to me and women in their fifties.
These men and women think they own the blogs and rate peoples posts and tell them what they should say or patting on the back all the time."
1) Yes - Naughty Officer Krupke can sound quite nasty sometimes. That's how he amuses himself. Don't take it to heart.
He used to be very clever and funny too, in between, but I suspect he's had something bad happen to him since Christmas, because his light seems to have gone out when he stopped fishing.
2) And yes - you can tell us frequent posters what to do and what not to do, as you did in the next part of that post. But be warned that I for one am going to disobey you.
When someone posts something that really delights me, 20 lalas in concert won't stop me from thanking them for enriching my life.
Posted by: timewarp1 at March 31, 2008 1:05 AM
Geminipom @ 2.19pm: What made you thing I was talking about you, ma'am?
Posted by: timewarp1 at March 31, 2008 12:36 AM
Malsie @ 12.27pm re guiltypleasure's profile: Yess!
I reckon Marcus is rubbishing it because she writes even better than he does, but he is certainly right about one thing: it will warn off men who are not up to her requirements - without giving offence. I specially liked that. Stops them wasting one another's time.
sunrize @ 6.11pm on mine at 2.48pm: No, not quite the way you took it. You think if she's a real babe or he's a real hunk, that's a real bonus, although it can make blokes a bit self-centred.
Talking about good-looking babes, I'd go a mile further than saying that.
I've sent out most of 300 carefully-targeted kisses over 2 and a bit years. A third invited my email, a third said No Thanks, and a third didn't even have the manners to reply "get lost."
What I found extremely interesting was that nearly all the bad-mannered ones had profiles with very little to recommend them - except unusually good looks.
Reminded me of my mother's advice when I started dating at 20: "Look for a girl with a body that delights you, and a face that's plain enough to keep her humble." Onyer, Mum!
Posted by: timewarp1 at March 31, 2008 12:32 AM
There has been mention of a few realtionship books and guides.
I have a female friend who seems to reading a new book, on the subject, every week.
One week she believes this, the other that and the next she has different beliefs all together.
She's so confused.
Do we really need books to teach us about how to relate to the opposite sex?
If we do, and we follow the advice, suggestions or plans such books offer; are we really being honest and, more importantly, being ourselves?
Any thoughts?
Boyd.
Posted by: himagain at March 31, 2008 12:06 AM
Femalepersuasion March 30 2:02.
Re profile tips. The first one I'll offer you is to reveal the one you have. And FFS don't mention yoga. Haha.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 31, 2008 12:06 AM
Seniors sex guide.............
Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in bed with you.
Set timer for 10 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!
Make sure you put 000 on your speed dial before you begin.
Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
Keep extra Polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
Make all the noise you want. The neighbours are deaf too.
If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.
Don't even think about trying it twice.
Posted by: jenjen57 at March 30, 2008 10:16 PM
woodnwine - sorry what I actually meant was let's say you meet someone new and you really hit it off and there is an attraction - should they be attractive/good looking that's a huge bonus. Sometimes people that you first look at and think hmm I don't know turn out to be completely different than you first thought. I guess that old adage "don't judge a book by it's cover" can be true. However, having said that some guys who are good looking have a huge ego and that's not a good thing. If you're with me you're with me... not looking at the next best thing that may come along... I hope that makes sense? :) Deborah
Posted by: sunrizesiesta at March 30, 2008 10:13 PM
sunrisesiesta - I think I understand what you are saying .... if you meet someone and really hit it off with them they suddenly become gorgeous in your eyes ... suddenly they look different. Aaah!
Posted by: woodnwine at March 30, 2008 9:10 PM
timewarp1 - I concur with your comment re looks. To me if you meet someone and hit it off and they just happen to go georgous/hot then that is a huge bonus. Beauty can only be skin deep, and most good looking guys I've met know it and have the ego to match - ie. their egos cash cheques their bodies can't cash. So yes, good looking/hot people are a bonus - a rarity but a bonus nonetheless.
Posted by: sunrizesiesta at March 30, 2008 6:11 PM
Laughsandtalks, too much gynoid? Is that the opposite of testoid? I can't change who I am, and don't really want to - I'm genetically inclined to XX chromosomes and so in person that translates to Every Inch A Woman. As for the wording of my profile, if it puts you off, tough. I actually do walk along a beach each evening, bag of freshly deposited dog poop in hand, and found myself looking at each man who walked by, hence the wording. As a veteran of 900 first dates, or kisses, or whatever, no doubt you can regale me with your insights as to what men want. I await with heaving breasts...
Now, to the topic at hand: Sex. Yes, yes, yes. The hows, or wheres or whens are irrelevant. The only thing to remember regardless of age, or experiences is to do what feels right to you. Don't do it if you think he'll/she'll like you more. Don't do it because it was last century the last time you did it. Don't do it because it make you feel loved - a trap for female players quite often - and don't do it as revenge.
In my experience I have done it five hours after meeting someone - it was the start of a relationship that lasted 15 years - and done it six months after meeting someone and when the sexual tension was so great I practically jumped his bones. It lasted two more weeks. The stud unfortunately was a dud. Nothing could have improved his technique and I was unwilling to tell him and deflate his ego. He's still a friend, and now with another girlfriend. Evidently it works better for them.
Trust your intuition. No matter your age or your experiences, you should never lose touch with what feels right for you. Take all the time you want, or play and have fun. The person and the relationship I am looking for will come my way sooner or later, and in the meantime, I'll keep tuned in to the games people play.
Posted by: guiltypleasure at March 30, 2008 5:50 PM
Virgil - I'm sure I've said this before, but just in case I haven't - I like your profile. :-)
Posted by: sunrizesiesta at March 30, 2008 5:29 PM
Marcus - thanks for clearing that up for me then. That's about as clear as mud. Love your work. :P
Posted by: sunrizesiesta at March 30, 2008 5:25 PM
Oohlala.
I'd like your recipe for the Minestrone, I had a Florintine Grandmother and use her's but would be interested in seeing how you make yours. Seeing I have spent most of the day making my change of season Stocks, I would have made the Jus but unfortunately I had to see if the Red was good enough, It was a bit too good, so I will have to get another one not so good. I would consider it an honour to be a friend and have the stamp to prove it, let me know if you approve. I hope you do not consider me as one of those in the last paragraph of your post @ 3.48. but maybe I am if so sorry.
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at March 30, 2008 4:38 PM
Richard I google your name and think I see the pics you use for Roger. No I am not that bored but the name interested me a little.
I dont know who you think I am but I am not Iron chef, sugarbabe, slimey or getreal. I can cook and give you recipes. Is my job to cater to visiting celebrities. Last week I make minestrone for Sinnead Oconnor. You want the recipe. Very tasty but she didnt have any. Is in my fridge as we speak.
I am not a bad speller. English is my second language and so I am more accurate than many Aussies. Is that a crime here too? I joined here in January and met soemone in February and as I have said is going okay so far. Who knows?
Lookingforlove2008 I dont know how long to wait because I've been seeing this man for six weeks now and it is starting to be a bit awkward waiting. We will probably end up now just good friends. Guess we need to have the right moment for it to happen naturally now. I am now nervous about it.
I dont think it matters as long as you take the precautions. If he is a player you will still be safe from catching anything.
Firelightlady I thought it was a good thing for the blogs to be dalayed because more people started to post and there was some interesting readin finally but no the blog hogs get annoyed about new people and be rude all the time. Look how Richard has been rude to me and women in their fifties.
These men and women think they own the blogs and rate peoples posts and tell them what they should say or patting on the back all the time. Who cares. Just say something interesting for a change or be helpful not mean and suspicious.
Posted by: oohlala1 at March 30, 2008 3:48 PM
Marcus @ 6.47pm last night - it's early autunm - I'm guessing a blow-job machine for leaves. (Later - yup.)
Naughty Officer Krupke @6.26am: I see you still get up at fishfart (that's just before spadgefart, newbies.)
Mate, I gotta try to put you straight on this. You're putting your words into my mouth, and without CPR even! (client permission request)
What I really said was that a large majority of the post-menopausal women that I meet in RSVP (and in Dabblers and elsewhere) do not turn me on.
That doesn't mean I find them unattractive, or unattractive-looking. Or unsuitable to become dear friends. I just have absolutely no wish to check what brand of undies they wear, let alone whether they're from Brazil.
And I challenge any man reading this to admit that he's not the same - some of them you happen to fancy, whether or not they fancy you (which takes at least 4 seconds to find out, if that's the first question you ask them...)
And some you don't fancy. If they were handing it out on the street, you'd walk past along the opposite footpath, looking earnestly into the shop windows.
I'm guessing the real difference between different men is the percentage of women of eligible age that would cause you to think "Pass."
Which mainly depends on which of your 2 heads is doing the choosing. I got married 40-odd years ago becase the little chap was in the driving seat.
Once bitten, twice shy. Now I'm choosing with the head that has 2 eyes and 2 ears, and in my perfect partner profile, her physical beauty gets a very small mention at the end - nice, but an optional extra. So many other factors are more important to me at 72 going on 62.
Posted by: timewarp1 at March 30, 2008 2:48 PM
I haven't read the blogs for a few days, so apologies if my comments are a bit behind the eight ball!
Timewarp: I'm not exactly a "newbie", having posted on previous blogs, "Dating Over 40", and "Deal Makers and Breakers". Until the nest of vipers came out and spoiled the fun and friendship of the blogs. It seems to be safe to venture back now, so here I am.
Amdoingit Mar 27, 2.01pm: Bellydancing is a fun way to keep fit. You will find it is sensual, not sexual like a lot of people seem to think. It's all about celebrating being a woman. It's good for the self-esteem, too.
Himagain: I like the way you think. And good on you for keeping a cool head and not rising to the bait of those who seem to be trying to provoke you.
OK, now for the topic. I don't believe in sex on the first date or meeting, unless I was just looking for a casual sexual relationship.
I feel if he shows interest, but is willing to wait, it is a sign that he respects me. The longer he is prepared to wait, the more I will respect him, and more likely to respond to his advances sooner rather than later. But it has to feel "right", not just sex for the sake of sex. I need to feel something in my heart for him before I will consider sharing my body with him. And to feel that he feels something for me, too, besides lust.
I did engage in a brief casual sexual fling last year. He told me up front that he was not offering me a relationship, only sex. I accepted that, or thought I did. The trouble is, he constantly talked about the other woman he was "bonking" (his term), and this really upset me.
Was it selfish of me to expect him to focus on ME when we were together?
I guess I'm just not cut out for casual sex...
Posted by: geminipom at March 30, 2008 2:19 PM
Laughs&talks @ 12.53 pm today-so what is it that blokes go for ? Are you meaning the way females write their RSVP profiles?
Could you elaborate what attracts you to a profile and what turns you off ? I am referring to the written word in particular.
Posted by: femalepersuasion at March 30, 2008 2:02 PM
Marcus, that's interesting - great if you're attempting to attract another woman, but not much use if you're not! I won't plagiarise it then! (don't worry, GP, I wouldn't dream of it...)
Posted by: malsie at March 30, 2008 2:01 PM
Lookin4love2008 - don't take comments from MS personally, the underlying subject got lost a while ago amidst the regulars bloggerbashing... he said, she said, he's single, no he's not... time for a change maybe.
Posted by: firelightlady at March 30, 2008 1:06 PM
Malsie.March 30 12:27
I read guiltypleasures profile after she had a dig at me.
I thought the opposite to you. Well written and creative but much too gynoid for most men. The "were you the man" device was a nice try but overworked.
There seems to be a female profile genre that women bloggers relate strongly to. It attracts them but is quite different to what blokes go for.
MS
Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 30, 2008 12:53 PM
guiltypleasure March 30 10:56AM
Thanks for your concern about my life; did you also have something to say about the topic?
I had a good night out last. Nice restaurant meal with a female friend then fun at the pub 'til 3am. Some live music and dancing and nice socialising and people watching.
Read the Sunday Age at a Lygon St cafe and home to blog a bit.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 30, 2008 12:41 PM
guiltypleaure - fantastic profile. If I was a bloke, I'd fall in love with you, for sure :)
(no, not having a sapphic moment, just the best profile I've read in ages, and damn shame it happens to be a woman's!!)
Posted by: malsie at March 30, 2008 12:27 PM
lookin4love2008.
Your question has been covered ad nauseum. Suggest you scroll down and read the posts in this topic.
MS
Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 30, 2008 12:25 PM
Richieboy, I think both men and women have double standards.Know some of each gender.As to your comments on appearances, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and we each have our own preferences on what we see as good looking. On both sides of the fence I have seen the most unlikely couples in matching looks.There are good looking men with unattractive women and vice versa. obviously those people can look beyond the outer layer and see a person for their true worth.
Laughsand talks- yes have played with new boy toy-it could have blown me away. (it is a Vikin 600 garden blower).
Timewarp-dancing was great. More men than women for a change-i was in my element.Didn't get home till well after midnight.And the teasing is fine-I enjoy a little bantering etc.
Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 30, 2008 12:06 PM
laughsandtalks, NINE posts since 6.30 last night. Do you sleep? Do you have a life? Do you have any other interests away from being a very large fish in this very small blogging pond?
Some perspective man - you need to get out more.
Posted by: guiltypleasure at March 30, 2008 10:56 AM
hey richard time to don your vestments and alter ego, for sermon? or the fact your double identity was sprung takes away from the fun?
By the way, that one of my fav footy teams belted the other yesterday, in no way lessens my respect for the 2006 Premiers.
Posted by: virgil at March 30, 2008 10:23 AM
met a guy here online, talked for two weeks, and then met (he came down from where he lives to meet me as i was on holiday and he needed a break from work). normallly i wait until i know the guy a little better before we sleep together but this guy was different we seemed to click even before we met, we got on well etc. anyway as there was only one bed, he had to share it with me and we ended up having sex (he respected me enought to wear a condom as i wanted him to, new partner etc) and after that well it just happened between us. we talked about our sexual history before we met. friends sleeping together destroys the friendship (found that out the hardway but keep making that mistake. we then waited six months before we slept together but he left me saying that i wanted more (of course i wanted more and he didn't want a long distance relationship), phone sex doesn't cut and personal photos only do so much. anyway i still want him, miss him, worry about hom and this all happened 18 months ago. his profile has been hidden for about the same amount of time and he occasionally wants to have fun with me even though he's married. so i think that he want the best of both worlds.
Posted by: whitelilly75 at March 30, 2008 10:08 AM
Some say, we should wait....What if we wait and the wait is not worth the wait.
How long should we wait? I think its an individual thing, or if the moment is right.
I am interested in hearing what others think.
Posted by: lookin4love2008 at March 30, 2008 9:42 AM
sunrisesiesta.
Am I single. Am I a player?
I'm a bit of a leg puller.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 30, 2008 9:22 AM
Laughsandtalksandtalksandtalkssomeomoreendlesslyinfact
If you are not single, you should state so on your profile.
You must state on your profile that you are only looking for friends and pen pals, and in my case, travelling companions and activity partners, and other harmless innocuous pursuits (no bedroom antics on the side, which is what the suspicious women think you are banging on about)
It’s The Rules.
And The Rules are set by all the women on here.
I know, Mate, there is a credibility gap involved. The women on here don’t believe that someone so ugly might actually be “Not Single”, but it is a credibility gap we all have to face in life. So get used to it. You may rest assured that there are women on here who are “not single” also but just pretend to be, but The Rules don’t apply to them. They are allowed to get away with anything including, in some cases, side salads and desserts in addition to their main man, but always remember, in the Post Feminist Post Rationalist era we live in, Double Standards apply ONLY to women
Posted by: richardzkruspe at March 30, 2008 6:46 AM
OohLaLa
What makes you think that women over 50 run from me.
I am quite happy with the ones I know in that age group and who fall into the range of friends I have been seeking.
But methinks you might be someone who has been on these blogs before under a different guise, and who used to give me great lectures privately. Are you sure you are not going to suddenly break out into cooking lessons as a born again Iron Chef. Slimey was more fun, especially her grammar and deliberate spelling mistakes.
I have just as much right to express my opinions about women on here as the SugarBabe did- bearing in mind that her physical needs were at all relevant times being met by a long term lover, and she was basically on here to blog away.
I am just annoyed that a 72 year old very ordinary looking male could come out with such crap that 90% of the women he dates he finds sexually unattractive.
Now that IS a timewarp and it is NOT from the Rocky Horror Show either. Maybe some of the current generation of Dr Phil Born Again Relationship Devotees don’t remember the Woodstock 1960s era when NO woman was sexually unattractive.
Are people so consumed with the regurgitated vomit that women come out with on this site, about The One, which the limpwrists adopt as if it is going to get them somewhere with these feminist Nazis (as if), that they actually can digest nonsense that denigrates women like that and let it pass. Get Real 000000 lala
Posted by: richardzkruspe at March 30, 2008 6:26 AM
Lads. There is a book being mentioned here, and read by girls mainly, called How To Catch Him and Keep Him. It is quite subversive to some male interests. Check it out and find out if she has seen it to avoid being outflanked.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 30, 2008 5:28 AM
Justy30
Noted your comment on date rape.
I''ve been asked about safety by non RSVP ing girls a few times, and over the years have heard my fair share of date incident stories.
I always rationalise it that a person with a profile is going to be readily identifiable and stand more chance of being caught, which is the major crime deterrent, so logically less likely to do something. Just a small part of it I know from the female safety point of view.
From the blokes point of view the chances of meeting Poison Ivy are remote. I do know of men who have been chatted up and then attracted by the pink lure only to find their place had been robbed while they were out doing the deed.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 30, 2008 4:38 AM
Oldergent, when you have people like Richardcranium dissing women every time he posts in a most disgusting manner, it is a bit difficult to not take the bait as Jewels did....
Sure you can ignore what he attempts to say, but at times it is hard to.......
Giving people like that the time of day is not worth it in my opinion, maybe he will disappear and become reborn into one of his other guises....though many here will spot the identity change fairly quickly......................K
Posted by: auntykaz at March 30, 2008 12:50 AM
Hmm ok Marcus I'll bite. Why does your profile say single then? Are you a player?
Oh and also thanks for appreciating the fact that yes I do indeed like Air Supply. :-)
Posted by: sunrizesiesta at March 29, 2008 11:39 PM
Hmmm...................last post 6.20..........where is the moderator :( ........oh to go live again !!!!!
Posted by: jenjen57 at March 29, 2008 10:51 PM
Hi everyone, been reading through the varying comments, I always like to work out who the person is eg: trustworthy, makes me laugh, compatibility etc.
There have been far too many date rape reports etc, that we all have to be on guard. Sad yes, but rather a bit of sadness than being injured :D
Posted by: justy30 at March 29, 2008 9:26 PM
BlueEyes @ 6.08pm about mine at 4.15pm: Just teasing you a bit, Teach. Suddenly found myself in a desk in the back row, and remembered what to do.
Enjoy your dance. I'd planned to do that tonight with my social club Dabblers at an RSL 15km away, but my 1991 alternator's died, so she's leg-roped onto the charger night and day, to get me 30km to tennis tomorrow night - and maybe back, if I'm lucky. Life's an adventure.
Posted by: timewarp1 at March 29, 2008 8:29 PM
Agreed.
Excellent post, Jewels
Posted by: amberlight58 at March 29, 2008 7:56 PM
Junebebby.
I am a 72 y/o and you have just destroyed my lifes ambition,I have dreamed of meeting a fiesty, proud,younger achieving woman of great means such as you and that mongrel mysandrist of a Richard has gone and spoiled it for us old farts.
LOL
cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at March 29, 2008 7:34 PM
sunrisesiesta.
OK. Thanks. I see where you are headed.
As it happens I am not single.
Hopefully you will meet an Air Supply fan.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 29, 2008 7:14 PM
Blueeyes 6.08
You "played with the new boy toy in your arsenal"
Raises eyebrows a tad. That is sailing pretty close to the wind.
Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 29, 2008 6:58 PM
Get out into the real world of TODAY, and experience just how sexy, gorgeous, intelligent and fabulous women of 50 really are!!!
Have a lovely arvo all...jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at March 29, 2008 5:26 PM
That could be the problem junebaby. the women are not so blind when they see him and run very fast in the opposite direction.
Richard all your awful comments about older ladies is why the older ladies like the younger men. Or the same age men. You come from the generation before things got hip as do some other men here and it is so obvious from your comments that you have not moved into the new century and give women the respect they deserve.
I look forward greatly to tomorrows sermon. Is it coming from Canberra or the Gold Coast?
After reading everyones comments on sooner or later I am now going for sooner because it could spoil things later if it is not good. Someone asked if you could maintain friendship after it being awful. I think not.
Are others here a bit scared of having intimate relationships again after a long time not? I know I am but others here seem more confident in their skills.
Posted by: oohlala1 at March 29, 2008 6:50 PM
woodnwine@4:58 Passion and Quality experience in sex?
I dont disagree with you about those elements as being important, but what if you have those feelings to start off with and just end up with a boring dud anyway.
If there is a strong attaction it is very hard to resist fulfilling them with the excitement of sex, (aka) Passion!
However, passion can fade in time, and for most of us we have had that experience happen to us at some stage in our life. Whether the fading happened because of other issues in our life or due to the expectations of our partner not being what we expected.
OUTCOME, make it or break it.
Which way do we want it to be?
Faded passion with someone who is worth being with or the dud.
Whatever, mistakes arnt made, nor regrets if time is taken to see if the person we sit before is right for us as a companion, not based on attraction.
Passion isnt the reason why old couples are together, its about mateship etc.
I have seen many people work for along time in a relationship based on passion and unfortunately when the passion has faded they begin to loose interest in trying with each other and tend to start growing roaming eyes, missing that old feeling, drawn to the excitement.
This is a sad senario, reason being, is because someone in that relationship thinks they dont love their partner as much anymore.
Problem created because they have mistaken the feeling of passion for their reason to be together.
Anyhow, if they act on it, they will end up going through the same old cycle with someone else.
Love grows from interaction with the one loved, and is kept alive by sharing each ones lifes activities, or just being interested in each ones growth.
Passion is kept alive without too much thought, blurrs the mind and lives on idealism of the partner being someone that suits their own imagination of who they want them to be.
Fact is no one is perfect and another fact is everyone ends up really finding out that the person whom you've been so consumed by is someone different because they never gave themselves the time to see through the mist, due to passion taking over.
Im not saying that people should necessarily wait for months and months or years to get intimate, but I do think people should know if that someone is going to suit them, and the only way to find out, is by waiting.
Whether that be weeks or months it is up to how well you get on and how much they communicate or spend time together, they should know by that time.
Everyone is different!
However, from my own experiences, I had the passion a few times, went with it too quick and ended up with disappointments way too late. Im not the only one here that could tell you that.
Later is safer in so many ways, and if each person is right for each other, believe me, the passion will still be there and even greater because there is love and respect, and trust and comfort of knowing each one took the time to do the right thing by each other.
What a great experience!
Posted by: lonelyheart44 at March 29, 2008 6:48 PM
woodnwine@4:58 Passion and Quality experience in sex?
I dont disagree with you about those elements as being important, but what if you have those feelings to start off with and just end up with a boring dud anyway.
If there is a strong attaction it is very hard to resist fulfilling them with the excitement of sex, (aka) Passion!
However, passion can fade in time, and for most of us we have had that experience happen to us at some stage in our life. Whether the fading happened because of other issues in our life or due to the expectations of our partner not being what we expected.
OUTCOME, make it or break it.
Which way do we want it to be?
Faded passion with someone who is worth being with or the dud.
Whatever, mistakes arnt made, nor regrets if time is taken to see if the person we sit before is right for us as a companion, not based on attraction.
Passion isnt the reason why old couples are together, its about mateship etc.
I have seen many people work for along time in a relationship based on passion and unfortunately when the passion has faded they begin to loose interest in trying with each other and tend to start growing roaming eyes, missing that old feeling, drawn to the excitement.
This is a sad senario, reason being, is because someone in that relationship thinks they dont love their partner as much anymore.
Problem created because they have mistaken the feeling of passion for their reason to be together.
Anyhow, if they act on it, they will end up going through the same old cycle with someone else.
Love grows from interaction with the one loved, and is kept alive by sharing each ones lifes activities, or just being interested in each ones growth.
Passion is kept alive without too much thought, blurrs the mind and lives on idealism of the partner being someone that suits their own imagination of who they want them to be.
Fact is no one is perfect and another fact is everyone ends up really finding out that the person whom you've been so consumed by is someone different because they never gave themselves the time to see through the mist, due to passion taking over.
Im not saying that people should necessarily wait for months and months or years to get intimate, but I do think people should know if that someone is going to suit them, and the only way to find out, is by waiting.
Whether that be weeks or months it is up to how well you get on and how much they communicate or spend time together, they should know by that time.
Everyone is different!
However, from my own experiences, I had the passion a few times, went with it too quick and ended up with disappointments way too late. Im not the only one here that could tell you that.
Later is safer in so many ways, and if each person is right for each other, believe me, the passion will still be there and even greater because there is love and respect, and trust and comfort of knowing each one took the time to do the right thing by each other.
What a great experience!
Posted by: lonelyheart44 at March 29, 2008 6:37 PM
Jewels @ 5.43....Beautifully said.. "G"
Posted by: amdoingit at March 29, 2008 6:20 PM
Timewarp, probably have put wrong label on. By the time I scroll backwards and forwards between the posts and answer both you gentlemen. not to mention check in at the other blog, a gal as old as me could get a simple thing mixed up. But then again I have been very busy today. Housework inside and out,washing and ironing,lawns and edges done, groceries, and played with new boy toy in my arsenal (for the garden) and prepared dinner for s friends and get ready to dance tonight, its a wonder I can even organise my thoughts. Will look more carefully tomorrow as have to go back to the kitchen where no doubt some not new age men believe we should be.
Have fun.
Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 29, 2008 6:08 PM
Marcus what I was referring to was your ego, I thought I stated that rather obviously in my original post below. I have my reasons for having my photo hidden. If I wanted you to see it I would send you a kiss with my photo password. No thanks. You can keep your opinionated rants to yourself. If you had read all the posts I had put on here recently you would see that I have chosen to be single and only started looking for a partner a few months ago. My choice mate.
Posted by: sunrizesiesta at March 29, 2008 6:01 PM
amdoingit - you are right, we are not being fussy, we are being careful as I for one, have experienced married men who lied, guys just wanting sex, one night stand type thing....and we, as in me and other female bloggers want, a genuine man who is over his past, as in, has his life organised in respect to the ex and his children...there is nothing worse than men who put out that they want a relationship, but they have not tied up thier previous loose ends.
If you have not closed the last phase in your life, you are not ready for any new adventures.
Nobody wants to be put in to the middle of domestics, I don't do it to men I meet and I expect the same in return!!
Have a lovely day all...jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at March 29, 2008 5:43 PM
""Surely the only lesson to be learned is:
1. women over 50 are desperate;
2. women over 50 are dateless;
3. women over 50 have no taste;
4. women over 50 will go out with anything at all;
5. women over 50 have poor eyesight.
So notwithstanding all the self serving protestations by older women on this site, like OohLaLa et al, it just goes to show that older women should confine themselves to crocheting and church social guilds and charitable good works, rather than submit themselves to being humiliated. Where has their personal dignity gone?Posted by: richardzkruspe at March 29, 2008 10:20 AM ""
Well Richard, you obviously don't know any 50 year old women!!! I for one would not go out with a 72 year old, as that is almost the same age as my Dad and my mum is actually younger than that!
I, and the other girls I hang around with do not crochet!!! In fact I don't sew or knit either as I have a full time career in the telco/IT field.....busy competing in a male dominated field and doing very well!! Don't have time for sewng and knitting or charitable good works, and the people that do, good on them to have the time to. And what is a church social guild??? My mum doesn't even do this stuff, she is too busy travelling and doing other stuff with my dad!
I am a bit pissed about the sexest drivel you wrote. Get out into the real world of TODAY, and experience just how sexy, gorgeous, intelligent and fabulous women of 50 really are!!!
Have a lovely arvo all...jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at March 29, 2008 5:26 PM
sunrizesiesta March 29 3:50PM
You wrote that you find it very easy to believe that I am single, but did not give your reason. So why?
You might want to reveal your photo so I can see if it has anything to do with why you are still single. ;-}
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 29, 2008 5:12 PM
lonelyheart - I hear your sentiments loud and clear but what if you date someone for months and months before becoming intimate and when you do it just doesn't work. Do you then stay friends?
And believe me sometimes it just doesn't work .... not unless you are prepared to settle for very ordinary. When two people really connect there is a quality and passion about the sex that once experienced is what you always hope for. Two people that can connect like that in bed should be able to achieve great things together in life.
Posted by: woodnwine at March 29, 2008 4:58 PM
Don’t forget everyone – Earth Hour tonight. Turn everything off (including computer!) 8 to 9pm! http://earth-hour.blogspot.com.
Posted by: riversong1 at March 29, 2008 4:51 PM
Riversong @ 12.43pm yesterday: (still trying catch up) One picture tells a thousand words. That concept is a true true classic. (= 2 truths, or too true)
But yours 2 minutes later: So what? The wedding photos for the 'paper are selected to be UNrepresentative. Gotta fit the image that will maximise the paper's possible revenue, both from selling copies and from advertising :
* Promote good looks, spread across the specified economic and racial parameters of the advertisers' target markets. No plain Janes, or scrawny sheilas that don't need low-fat or lipo.
* Sex after 40 is dirty, so no uncosmetic wrinkies, thank you very much.
* And especially none of those nasty creepy July-December couplings (his money buying a trophy wife)
Marcus @ 2.30am 28th: Nice shoo-off try mate, but it won't cut the must-heard. (Later - And it didn't.)
FemalePers @ 2.29pm Friday: Nice to see you back, and good stuff too.
AbcKenny @ 3.09pm Friday: Always glad to see your name, because I know you'll be right on the ball. And you were. BTW, any news yet of your many-some with the hinter, somewhere near Twintowns?
Siesta time. Seeyez.
Posted by: timewarp1 at March 29, 2008 4:48 PM
"G",
I must admit that even today I heard one Lothario tell of his conquest on a local social group, of the 20 or so and one lady there, there was much skeptisism, rapidly turning into laughter when the lady said "Strange I was out with her last night and you definately did not come into my house and spend the night".
I did have the experience between my first wife and meeting my second of going on a dinner meeting with a Lady and she actually said, "at some time tonight sex is going to raise its ugly head so I will tell you now the answer is No" She paid for her dinner I paid for mine, we had a wonderfull time got to have drinks with the staff after closing and never seen each other again. But hell it was the quickest I have found for some one to gain your attention and respect.
Someone in a past post told of a man taking his divorce papers for a coffee meet, I thought hmmm at the time, maybe he was not so silly.
G, can't imagine men being that fussy or stupid either, unless its a generational thing. Age I am finding is a cruel thing.
As always
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at March 29, 2008 4:48 PM
amdoingit - re how many dinners - aw, gee, he was probably just trying to figure out which was they cheaper way!
Posted by: riversong1 at March 29, 2008 4:30 PM
OG.. re the waiting game.. Yep, that's what I call it... Used to wait patiently for responses but soon came to realise that there are loads of serial kissers out there. Methinks perhaps they (both M & F of course) are trying to make it to the top 100 or something.. Who knows..
Know where you're coming from when you say you feel deceitful emailing more than one at a time. I'm not comfortable with it either but it does seem to be the norm..
Actually had a funny incident only recently where both myself and a friend who is also on the site found out we were both emailing the same person. Rather funny when we compared emails. Word for word bar the introductory paragraph. Lost it's personal touch for me I'm afraid.Had thought of both turning up on the same coffee meet but I couldn't do it. Just bowed out yet he thought it was ok..
You know, I guess it comes down to each individual. Until you actually meet there's nothing to say you will even like each other so in reality no harm in emailing more than one. Just do what you feel is right..
As for the time frame to wait.. If the emails don't flow on regularly and nicely then I take it that the person isn't too keen. That being the case move on to the next and take it as it comes. Your gut is usually your best indicator..
Good luck.. "G"
Posted by: amdoingit at March 29, 2008 4:28 PM
BlueEyes you have got me really wondering. Some background to my problem:
Oldergent (Robert) aged 72 is a retiree FROM the Hunter. He is short of stature but long of wind. On top of his head is the solar panel for his pistol-shooting aim-computer.
His name was oldcodger72, till I suggested to him off-blog that his current one would be better marketing. OG for short.
I am Bill THE hunter FROM Brisbane, also 72, but still with lots of hair on top of my head which is just starting to go from brown to grey this year. And my personal sport is tennis not gunnery, so I need a lot of wind too, to play up to 36 games in an evening - usually only 3 x 8. I'm called Timewarp, or by Marcus, The Warped One, for long.
But you seem to be confusing us - one to Robert at 1.01pm calling him OG. But one to me @ 9.30am, calling me oG.
I need to ask: is this your personal pet name for me, perhaps acknowledging that I am the less old for a 72-year-old (hence the smaller 'o')?
Or did you mean 'Og the Neanderthal', teach, and just hit the Capitals key on the wrong letter?
Or is Officer Krupke correct when he says that women over 50 have trouble with vision? And I know he means refraction, not your vision for the future, because why shouldn't that involve someone nice like me?
Posted by: timewarp1 at March 29, 2008 4:15 PM
In reply to amdoingit - agree wholeheartedly. That's why I have "honesty really is the best policy" in my profile. Not after deceit, just after honesty... is that too much to ask?
Posted by: sunrizesiesta at March 29, 2008 4:09 PM
OG Maybe its not a matter of how plainly we express ourselves but that rather many of us are just too picky in the initial choice and are not prepared to go beyond the outer layer showing. I don't have a problem emailing and talking to more than one at a time. I don't think it is deceitful. What if you spent a stamp at much the same time as someone invested in you, Are you then going to ignore one because one is enough to talk to? I have had quite a few email me without checking out first my response and I am still happy to talk to them. Many may not be my cup of tea but we can still exchange worthwhile conversation, maybe even network a little and some have even taken up dancing and enjoying it from my suggestions.But if you spend a stamp and email a person, and that person does not reply within a few days even though they have checked into the site, then i would assume there is no interest on their part. But I would also think they are quite rude if they don't have at least the decency to reply. It's amazing how some people just disappear and don't have the maturity to at least email and say they have changed their mind.Last year I had a lovely man in my life whom contacted me on this site. His profile and photo were not necessarily jumping at me, but after meeting a few times one couldn't help but realise he was a great person.The more people you talk to then the better understanding you gain of the opposite sex and yoursself.
As to the lurker, he doesn't bait me, I just like to stir the pot back a little.
And yes I am always smiling. Life's too short to be miserable.
Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 29, 2008 4:06 PM
Robert @ 3.06pm... No, not all ladies are fussy.. But it's been said before and I reinforce it.. there are loads of players and married men out there. Had 1 earlier this year who was supposed to be separated (not), found out after a few weeks thank goodness. He could see nothing wrong with it as he'd had no sex with his wife for over 12 months so that justified it to himself. I've no intention of ever being anybody's F Buddy thank you.
Had another chap who wanted to know how many dinners we'd have to go on before I put out.. Choice or what. Needless to say that was the one and only dinner date we went on. And I paid my own..
Not a case of being fussy Robert, just a case of finding someone genuine..
Now, don't all you guys who are decent pounce on me either. I'm not male bashing, just telling of some of my encounters that's all..And I do know there are women who are not genuine too so it does work both ways..
Cheers..."G"
Posted by: amdoingit at March 29, 2008 3:52 PM
There's been some very interesting advice on here in regards to this topic.
In reply to lonelyheart44 - I tend to agree, I am a firm believer that you need to have a solid foundation before you sleep with someone. I certainly don't believe in flings. Therefore, whilst I can appreciate that some women may want to "try before they buy" so to speak... things change rapidly after you sleep together. Emotions especially for women seem to get in the way at times - speaking from a women's point of view.
Therefore, whilst there should be no "standard" rule as to when people should start having sex, I think it's best to get to know a person first, develop a relationship, learn to trust each other etc. etc... These comments are in addition to the ones I placed on here yesterday...
Marcus - you certainly seem like an interesting fellow, your ego is incredible, and I actually find it very easy to believe that you are still single. Not a personal attack - just my two cents.
Virgil seems like a very nice and humorous character.
OG I think it's fantastic that you are trying to find someone, and wish you all the best in your search. I sincerely hope you can find the lady you deserve.
Ok let's see what everyone else is saying... Ciao for now...
Deborah
Posted by: sunrizesiesta at March 29, 2008 3:50 PM
Blueeyes,
by this you should know that the lurking snipers do not have the intestinal fortitude to show their face, that is why I ignore them and will not respond to their barbs.
Back to your point of women asking or taking the lead in dating affairs. I have got some kisses and have not responded as I had answered 2 at once and got involved in a situation I did not want to be in, of what I percieved as deceitfull. But could you tell me how long should one wait after responding to a kiss and spending a stamp before moving on to the next kiss? I have made contact with men and women and have spent a stamp to contact people off line. For the first time I have recieved an email from a person to sort out our differences, this will be replied to this afternoon. This is a further education, I have lived through the generation changes and just have started to realise that I have not an in depth understanding of them.
I have said it before but what is wrong with the 40 to 65 age group in RSVP, how much plainer can people express themselve and still not find the partner they seek. I do not get to see many mens profiles only the bloggers and those that peep my RSViP profile, but going on those few, goodness surely the Ladies cannot be that fussy that they do not think there are some worthy candidates there. Then again their ESP may be better than mine as to potential partners, maybe they should take your advice and bite the bullet and email their choice. It will be interesting to see what Karina comes up with on the new kiss system,(hopefully with a different word). Blueeyes (lovely smile) thanks for seeing behind the facarde.
Robert
Posted by: oldergent at March 29, 2008 3:06 PM
Sex Sooner than Later?
Make sure each person is worth it shouldnt be based on sampling the jewels in the bedroom too soon.
Worth it should be about seeing if each person has the same intentions for a relationship for each other.
The only way anyone can find out if that is possible is by getting to know each other for a while on an intellectual level.
Sex too soon just screws up judgement and dosnt allow room for a full comprehension of each ones motives or whether each would please each other after the sex act happens too soon.
Girls! Read the book called Catch Him and Keep Him.
This book really does tell us girls some secrets about men, stuff they dont want us girls to know about not having sex too soon.
It wouldnt make too many of the players happy to know we read this stuff and for us to act on it.
Actually I was really annoyed by it when I read it, it made me feel like giving up on the dating stuff. I just felt that everything has to revolve around men to win them over, but if you look at the flip side of it, it really does give us girls a chance to look at things in a different way and take control for a change, and for us girls to rule for a change.
This is not an attack or poke at the decent guys who know how to treat a lady, or the guys with all good intentions, but rather a protection from the guys that are so undecided of what they are looking for and against all the guys who are just out for self gratifacation.
There are two words that are important here.
Number One is Respect ourselves and be respected, and number Two is Protect ourselves from the undesirable.
These two words apply to the guys as well.
Posted by: lonelyheart44 at March 29, 2008 3:01 PM
I felt very sad and disappointed with a few comments posted on here about using sex as a means test to see if a person is worth being with before plunging into a relationship.
Sex isnt everything!
Do you see an old loving couple of a 50 year relationship complaining that it isnt like the old days in their sex life?
No!
It is about the type of relationship they have built, and that relationship has been based on their compatability, their dreams, their respect for each other, their love, and what they built together, family, a home, security through good and bad times.
It wasnt based on whether they were a good root or had a big penis or they were active romping around in the bedroom.
Gosh, if we are suppose to use sex from day one as a monitor for a long lived relationship, we better get plenty of viagra, steriods, big workouts at the gym, and lots of sleep to keep it going in our older age.
If we are meant to be so concerned about the sex sooner to see if he has a big penis, then we are just putting the penis and the male species above all other issues, and putting ourselves in a position that men rule on every aspect of making a relationship worth it.
Us women end up making ourselves victims of men putting emphasis on attraction and activity rather than a relationships productivity.
Hey not all men are sex mad and not all women are, but some are just putting too much emphasis on it being an important starting point to a relationship.
Why not just leave the sex thing till later, love makes sex more enjoyable especially for women, even if he has a small penis, it dosnt matter. Its the closeness and interaction of sharing love that makes it more enjoyable.
Additionally, a women that feels needed for more than sex enjoys the many more encounters with her partner in the bedroom, rather than starting off something too quick with a guy with sex too just be told he only want a bed buddy because that makes him feel better.
Who get hurt the most when its not what each one wants?
Leave the SEX till later, make sure each one is worth it, because TOO SOON could end up being too hurtful if it dosnt work out.
Posted by: lonelyheart44 at March 29, 2008 2:37 PM
So that's what some women call us ... a D&D. Nice.
Posted by: woodnwine at March 28, 2008 11:59 AM
Not what I would call you. You'd be a 'NC' -
Nice Catch xx
Posted by: enrepres at March 29, 2008 2:01 PM
Methinks Richardk that you are only here to poop-stir.Put your face where you mouth is. There is a saying that 'people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones".
OG much prefer a man who has manners to one who hasn't.
Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 29, 2008 1:01 PM
Wonderful input ideas sex should be sooner or later...
Sex is great as long as, does not exceed to the limits in pursuits one after another sex exploitation. Usually men are more aggressively in sex desire. While women using as tools to build strong emotionally connection. There's a Playfulness and Innocence to it.
Sex is a part of our lives, we look in certain ways or be a certain shape they want to see someone who's confident embracing their sexuality. Men really aren't scrutinising us; in private, I've learnt, a man is just that you're there and you're going to be naked for him. There is No universal rules of what sex time when? mindset are> but find your own way and put your image out there - people who respond to it, will responding to your terms.
Sex is a magical powers, the secret to bring your sexiest-self looks, that urge physical attraction can demand emotional desire ..or Also, can performed sex animals fantasies.
Sex is like an Art Stage Play, influence to embraces glamour eye-naked clothes-off, an art of display a provocation to admired sexual urges. To explore body temperature, mindset of wild dreams fantasies and a heart pounding emotional moving slow motion where it takes two people realized and willing to accept erotic at play bur, No guarantee in reality aspiring personal aspects.
Sex is like Preliminary exam, the measurement of one's inners capabilities, can bring intimate closeness, openness unto self-contained desire. The sudden changes of freedom, sex can illuminate those insecurities and low self-esteems, where who people can joined legitimate inspiration in all purposes natural beauty of amazing sex grace.
Sex is also a foul at play, drowning self-morality into unknown, self contempt in pursuit of sexual activities advantages of someone hope and innocent, whistled reputation have had been believed continuous relationship. But the facts, they are like Volcano about to erupt, and the moment later, after have done, it's like a lost causes as "One Time Sizzling Satisfaction".
Posted by: aliane at March 29, 2008 1:00 PM
Hi Jolly Roger/Richard
Did you enjoy the game last night? A very exciting game, havent seen mud on an AFL oval like that for a while, looking forward to your sermon tomorrow, do you have some hymns selected as well?
I suggest Glory Glory Subiaco (to the tune of battle hymn of the republic)
Maybe Pride of South Australia
and We're the Eagles
maybe with your dislike of women, you might choose
Hymn
Hymn
and
Hymn
Posted by: virgil at March 29, 2008 11:42 AM
If a 72 year old very ordinary chauvinistic male gets kissed by 30 women over 50 who want to go on a date with him,
Surely the only lesson to be learned is:
1. women over 50 are desperate;
2. women over 50 are dateless;
3. women over 50 have no taste;
4. women over 50 will go out with anything at all;
5. women over 50 have poor eyesight.
So notwithstanding all the self serving protestations by older women on this site, like OohLaLa et al, it just goes to show that older women should confine themselves to crocheting and church social guilds and charitable good works, rather than submit themselves to being humiliated. Where has their personal dignity gone?
Posted by: richardzkruspe at March 29, 2008 10:20 AM
Timewarp:
“…so the 30-odd Australian women who've sent me want-a-date kisses…the problem for me is that 3/4 of the women … I find them sexually repulsive to some degree.”
Might their only problem be, not that they are either too skinny or too tall, but they are in serious need of an optometrist.
Posted by: richardzkruspe at March 29, 2008 9:33 AM
Og, points all taken on board.I would like to think that a fellow is just as flattered by being asked out just as much as a woman is.And as long as either party are mature enough to not be offended if refused when they make the sexual advance,then I don't see a problem and the friendship should still be able to continue.Your reply was worth waiting for.
Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 29, 2008 9:30 AM
Good Morning Wishfull,
You are regarded by me as an open, honest, intelligent person, as such I will always endeavour to respond in a similar manner. But just below your post to me is a lurker (sex unknown) sniping from behind a hidden profile, these people may have legitimate reasons but then should they not stay off blog.
"Our" touche, point taken, not everyones cup of tea is the lad. You in a blue fit would be a sight to see. OK, your battles are yours. As to directing traffic, before I came on the blogs I did take the time (which I suppose a lot of people do not) spent a lot of time going through the previous blogs, as I still do. The pot calling the kettle black methinks, your not bad with the lollypop stick yourself.
As to Boyd, the marriage post, was my final say on him, apart from what I have previously said I stand by, and yes we have different perceptions of others and that is what the gender thing is about. I am opiniated, are you honest enough to say you are too. Bill's sandpit seems to know no bounds as far as I know, unless some people wish to limit the amount of players in it to suit themselves
Wishfull, respectfully.
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at March 29, 2008 8:40 AM
Sooner or later or not at all,depends on individual circumstances. What surprises me is the number of women who dont ask or demand you use protection. How can you trust someone without such basic intelligence?
Posted by: sincrolad at March 28, 2008 11:24 PM
Interesting comment as I have had many a discussion with male friends on this topic and many I spoke to seem to think that because they had been in long monogomous marriages and never had to use protection then they don't want to start now. They seem to think that our age group (50's) is not likely to catch diseases as we don't sleep with drug users and bi sexual people. They don't need protection against unwanted pregnancies as most have had vasectomies.Certainly makes for interesting chats over a cuppa.
Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 29, 2008 7:57 AM
GHDay2 @10.29pm Thurs: Not really policing your speling - just using it as an excuse to give Marcus a little stir.
BlueEyes @ 5.17pm Thurs said:
"Do you men get put off if a woman makes the advance , either in asking for a date or even sex?"
Sorry for my slow reply. Couldn't get back to this blog between earlyish end of moderation on Thurs night and coming home in cabin of tow-truck, well after midnight on Fri. night. (Life's an adventure.)
I'm 72 behaving like 62, so the 30-odd Australian women who've sent me want-a-date kisses have been aged 51 and up.
If a woman of such mature age asks me for a date, I am delighted for 2 reasons:
* She likes the look of my warts-and-all RSVP profile, so she's gotta have an excellent taste in men, hasn't she?
* She's overcome her youthful conditioning that demanded that she wait co-dependantly till the feller asks her, so I am impressed with her pro-active modern feminism. She's as modern as I am, and I'm looking for my match.
But if she later propositions me before I proposition her, the answer's not always the same.
I was very lucky to realise at 17 that girls are people too, meaning that gender is irrelevant until you reach the bedroom door. A girl can be your mate, or your mate (your friend or your lover.)
If I fancy her, but she happens to point to the bed first, I agree with the other men who've replied already - it is all good.
The problem for me is that 3/4 of the women I'm fond of are people I want only for friends.
I admire them as excellent humans and I enjoy spending time with them. But I find them sexually repulsive to some degree.
Maybe because they're over 6 foot tall and I'm heightist. Or so skinny that if I hug them, I can't help shivering with the horrors about famine and starvation.
When one of these friends propositions me (3 of them in the last 10 years) and I say regretfully 'No Thanks', they are insulted. and Hell hath no Fury ... So I lose a good friend.
Lookit the time! Night all.
Posted by: timewarp1 at March 29, 2008 4:44 AM
OG...since you are not going to use the royal "we" perhaps you shouldn't use the collective "our" when referring to Marcus and his comments. He isn't "ours" and I wouldn't lay claim to him in a blue fit.
As for your lengthy diatribe...please dont bother defending me, I'm a big girl and can take care of myself. You seem to have taken it upon yourself to direct traffic in these blogs, and good for you I guess.
As for Himagain sounding and looking too good to be true - who has come up with that little gem? He is a decent looking man but wouldn't say looks too good to be true (I'm not sure you can even LOOK like that). He writes well (even if he claims he is not articulate like others here - not sure WHO he is referring to), but that doesn't make him too good to be true. He is simply a well spoken, non-alpha male and that doesn't make him too good to be true either....odd how people are pigeon-holed due to what others perceive as differences.
You are right OG...everyone is entitled to their own opinions, thankfully, or it'd surely be a boring place. However, some have so many opinions that they become domineering - the sandpit gets a little crowded and they start flinging it to clear a little more space....
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at March 29, 2008 2:01 AM
Posted by: oldergent at March 28, 2008 4:19 PM:
>"insufferable females,"
and,
>"we few [Og referring to himself and others] we glorious few that dont try to con them need all the help we can get."
Sounds like someone is batt(l)ing from behind the wickets with those words.
Or, forgetting which way they're batting.
Forgetting being another point, as just a few posts later...
oldergent at March 28, 2008 8:16 PM:
>"nor do I ever use the Royal "we" to express "my" opinions."
Posted by: justsaying at March 28, 2008 11:54 PM
mystiemuse at March 28, 2008 12:01 PM.
Rest easy mystiemuse, I was just using your previous comment to segue the joke on topic.
The point was knowing a person as much as possible, before actually making a commitment (sex or otherwise) or marrying them.
Would have thought the last line was also, quite pointedly, bursting the balloon of males with self-inflated egos.
But, your last sentence leads me to ask you a question in return. Do you feel I am one of those,
> "people on here can be rather personally insulting at times without provocation, just because they feel we all need to know our short comings"?
Let me state clearly: I was previously unaware of any shortcomings you feel you may have.
Posted by: justsaying at March 28, 2008 11:36 PM
I think you are doing very well Boyd, Whist I share most of your beliefs, not all, particularly, not taking the initative in lovemaking.
I feel you are very articulate, and that you have stood up to Marcus very well. It is very good to watch lively debate.
Some may be just watching you, as a new person to make up their minds.
Posted by: virgil at March 28, 2008 11:35 PM
Ynotalice... welcome from me as well... Nice to see you have an opinion and are prepared to voice it.. Could make for some interesting comments methinks... Enjoy...
Now I'm going to see if all the activity is on the new blog...
Cheers all....."G"
Posted by: amdoingit at March 28, 2008 11:30 PM
W'n'W..you should know I don't bite. Hell, I rarely even bark. Then again when I do it's a gooden... Hmm...."G"
Posted by: amdoingit at March 28, 2008 11:27 PM
Sooner or later or not at all,depends on individual circumstances. What surprises me is the number of women who dont ask or demand you use protection. How can you trust someone without such basic intelligence?
I like the bedroom to be a place of enjoyment and fun, not a game of russian roulette.
Posted by: sincrolad at March 28, 2008 11:24 PM
hmm can good sex be taught..... I think so. Whilst the buttons might all be in the same area, people like them pushed in different ways.
Posted by: jodes75 at March 28, 2008 11:16 PM
Welcome, ynotalice, see that was not too hard, I am not commenting any more on this blog about certain personalities, I think I have squared that off in the marriage blog that has just started. But as to my old sparing partner, he is the only allowable Alpha on site. I hope to see your participation in future blogs as it is not a lot men that participate, Do I detect a a forces background?
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at March 28, 2008 10:37 PM
Willow
Thanks for your comments.
I don't become hurt about the attacks; just sad and frustrated. Sad for those who feel the need to attack and frustrated because, on here, I can't look them in the eye and have a reasonable conversation; and because of all the assumptions. IE: The comment from whynotalice. Because I'm somewhat different, as a result of a 2 year personal journey I found myself on, I sound "too perfect". This is not the first time people have considered that I'm perfect. This is not a brag, in any way, it's a fact. These people are wrong; no one is perfect and I consider myself far from perfect. This label is something I detest and something I could never live up to. In a way, I guess it's a compliment; however, it's not correct.
I think these attacks may something to do with one of my earlier posts. Sheep following the popular opinion. Or, maybe, the blokey, blokes seeking solidarity. I really don't know.
Assumptions also cut the bone. I once ended a relationship as she was making too many assumptions; that was the only reason for ending it.
I don't articulate nearly as well as most and I don't believe I should be required to prove who I am of defend my beliefs.
Those who choose to hang of every word, and make assumptions based on the fact that I may not have expressed myself as articulately as they do, or made an error in the structure of a sentence, really aren't here in the true spirit of the blog.
I will make grammatical, and many other, word structuring errors. So what. Most are able to see past that and pick up on the general gist of what I'm saying, as we all do in general conversation, yet some simply choose to search for evidence and ammunition. I feel sorry for these people.
I'm myself; the best person I can be.
These attacks bounce right off.
Cheers,
Boyd.
Posted by: himagain at March 28, 2008 10:34 PM
Hi y'all, yes I have been putting a few faces to personalities as there are a few distinct ones out there. Sorry boys I wouldn't really consider myself alpha material as I identify with some of himagains traits but think he sounds a bit too "perfect" to be true. On subject - it would have to be right when you both agree wouldn't it? T
Posted by: ynotalice at March 28, 2008 9:37 PM
L&T 12:37PM Marcus, you misfire about me often but you got this one spot on "I'm sure if Willow wants to be sucked off by a total stranger it wont be in full view of everybody in the RSVP sand pit."
Not the wording I would use but the message is quite correct. My private affairs stay private unless they are subject to great poetic license in a willow story.
Must say I'm not clear what himagain did to deserve being in the firing line for what he said to me but I do regret it has put him so. Really sometimes people are just being kind when they perceive a need, rightly or wrongly.
Thanks heavens we have a world where this is possible, I hope himagain can dust himself off as I have had to.
Posted by: willow1059 at March 28, 2008 9:30 PM
its interesting that jolly had to take his profile down in order to change states, and recreate richard whatever to tell us about his time with the coach.
Posted by: virgil at March 28, 2008 8:45 PM
This is a popular subject! From my perspective as a 40+ newly single female. I hadn't dated since I was 25 so being back on the market was like being a magpie in a mirror ball factory especially after a sexless marriage - so many men so little time. I am not proud to say at times there I was pretty shallow. Down the track I have sorted and dumped my baggage, got my head in order, and looking forward to sharing new found skills with the right man. Blue pills? Never been needed - just the right lead up, mutual respect and no pressure to 'perform'. E
Posted by: firelightlady at March 28, 2008 8:29 PM
Wishfull.
Ok your answers, first point, OG swings between which side he is batting for/ defending what I think is right, impartiality of gender, what I think is right and fair. Even our Marcus did not consider me Alpha material, plus that have I ever seemed to care or resented when the others have attacked me? I am prepared to stand the opinion of the bloggers and expect no one to spring to my aid. Wishfull, nor do I ever use the Royal "we" to express "my" opinions. Do I think he is real. by his own admission he is from Pluto, (another Freudian slip), he might be real, ask me whether I think he is fair dinkum? Too good to be true. Ever since I have been on this site all I have heard from the Ladies is " if it sounds and looks to be too good to be true it probably is" Wishfull it is your right to read and believe what you wish and at some time I might have to defend you in that right as I would unless you told me not to, once again your right. But after reading his posts from start several times? I have made a post in the Marriage topic that should put this matter to rest, hopefully.
Wishfull I have read your considered posts lately and in the archives and agreed and disagreed as the case may be. I am sorry that I do not appear to be a genuinely decent guy in your eyes,because I challenge some one you admire, but so be it. If that is your criteria of decency.
OG
Posted by: oldergent at March 28, 2008 8:16 PM
No Dodgy one.....they are "legends in their own lunch BOX" their lunch hour is far too long.
Hey Himagain, sorry to see the big "boys" won't play nicely in the sandpit. OG swings between which side he is batting for, Marcus is full of it and Dodgy, well he can't decide WHO he is or what tag he'll blog under - it changes regularly depending on the venom.
I can't see why you so called Alpha men can't back off a bit - whenever someone of your gender comes in and blogs, and isn't slamming women, or thinking we are all after your money and/or sex, you alpha types just can't take it....what is it? Attention falling from you (negative attention at best). Grow up you lot....OG why, because we like to read Himagain's posts, do you think he is not for real, too good to be true etc.? Maybe, he, like Willow, are just genuinely decent guys...now there's a thought!!!
It all gets a bit irritating, it'd be nice if everyone could simply play nicely in the sandpit...but then again, I'm forever the wishful thinker (not dreamer!).
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at March 28, 2008 7:34 PM
Amdoingit. Today 3:37 pm
Men usually organise themselves heirarchicaly, vertically. Women with their information sharing and cooperative collaboration prefer a horizontal arrangement.
Reasonably obvious here. When there is a catty spat there is more fuss trying smooth things over than in the actual incident.
Art imitates life.
Oohlala dont be too sure with doggy rogerer it is his picture. He was posting knocked off shots earlier this year.
Cheers MS
Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 28, 2008 6:59 PM
amdoingit ... and here was me thinking your bight was worse than your bark ....
Posted by: woodnwine at March 28, 2008 6:26 PM
Good sex can be taught ... I'm not saying this as my thoughts but commenting on what I've read here today. Well, yes it can up to a point but that's assuming that one partner is good and the other is willing to learn. Are they big assumptions? And does everyone want to have to do this at our age? OK, things can and will improve as a couple gets to know each other and learns what the other likes and prefers but some basic knowledge is probably exected otherwise why would you want to go further?
BTW, I mean this in a nice way ...
Posted by: woodnwine at March 28, 2008 6:23 PM
ynotalice, are you checking all of us bloggers out before you have a say????. Like OG said..Just dive in.. and head first too... We don't bite..honest..Nibble a little here and there but don't bite... "G"
Posted by: amdoingit at March 28, 2008 5:56 PM
Blueeyes I looked again at his profile this morning after he said mine was hidden. He has four or five secondary pictures that look like he is a very handsome actor. My compliments must have made him feel shy and so he has hidden it now.
Or he may now be getting too much attention and it deters him from preparing his sermon at half-time tonight after escorting God to his rooms and shouting a round for the ladies with the black and white faces.
I think the friendship would soon be over once you started making the suggestions for improvements too. There must be a way to do this subtly so no one is hurt. Maybe watch a movie together. I dont know but is good topic. Sooner or later and how to be better and better. keep everyone happy.
Marcus is licking the face of the lover some sort of new ritual we should be knowing about?
Posted by: oohlala1 at March 28, 2008 5:34 PM
Dodgyrodgy's profile now blocked. I guess he isn't sending me his photo.Ohlala-how do you know he is handsome?
Karina, there is another dating site (won't mention the name here in case I'm not allowed) but they have a variety of respones that are different. Eg. Thanks but you live too far away or the age gap is too large etc. Sometimes I would like to add a reason with my 'no thanks' reply that is not covered by this sites choices.
Thanks Kenny for replying- a shame you don't live closer.
Groundhog- I also think that you can teach an old dog new tricks but personally would find it a little embarassing to tell a guy (at this age) how to improve especially if you have only been on a few dates. Maybe this is something better left to a relationship where you have a strong friendship as a basis.
Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 28, 2008 4:49 PM
I'm starting to think I'm just too old fashioned. I believe in monogamy and truth. Very few woman around my age seem to believe or are looking for the same. Most seem to find that overly boring or to nice and run for the hills, lol.
If I believe a person is as interested in me as I am in them and the trust is there then when sex occurs is not an issue for me.
I get tested at the end of every relationship I've had both for myself and any future partners piece of mind. I haven't yet been asked to provide a certificate though.
Personally, promiscuity and lying are the worst qualities I can think of, regardless of wether male or female.
Posted by: chrome79 at March 28, 2008 4:21 PM
Hi ynotalice,
noticed the peep, as you have seen us poor bloody long suffering males are badly out numbered (and male is the quantifying word) by some beautiful, intelligent, new age and at time insufferable females, we few we glorious few that dont try to con them need all the help we can get. No need to stick you toe in the water we've been there and done that, just dive in. lol
(where are you Raven too)
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at March 28, 2008 4:19 PM
OG
I'm interested in contributing to the blog by expressing my opinions.
I have no interest in the pathetic, childish games you fools choose to play.
IE: After your capitulation to Marcus it is now Game Set and Match. Marcus will be happy with that, one of his quickest get under the skin victories.
Pathetic.
Boyd.
Posted by: himagain at March 28, 2008 4:12 PM
Richard
I will be looking out for you on the tv tonight.
Strange you call Mick God?
He gave us 2 premierships, so far has given Collingwodd very little.
Not only the 2 premierships, but has left a huge and enduring stamp of success on our club, some might say he under achieved, but I think that is being greedy.
He will always be welcome at Subi. (especially after he retires).
Eagle
Posted by: virgil at March 28, 2008 4:11 PM
Boys- still no answers to my 5.17pm blog. Maybe you don't like a girl who asks upfront?
Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 27, 2008 11:08 PM
hi blueeyes, yes I like a girl who asks up front, it certainly takes the guesswork out of the equation.
Posted by: virgil at March 28, 2008 4:05 PM
FP - nice to see you back enjoying an interesting topic.
Posted by: woodnwine at March 28, 2008 3:58 PM
OG - I think the point is that everyone has their opinions and that's what they are ... opinions. If people are inconsistent then maybe they are, they are just saying what they think, not writing an essay and expecting to be marked out of 10. Just a thought.
Posted by: woodnwine at March 28, 2008 3:51 PM
Having a quick look in during a work break. Getting a bit fired up are some of our men..Interesting to sit back and observe.. So different from the femmes!!!!
W'n'W.@ 11.06am... How sweet are you??? Thank you so much for your thumbs up.. Don't know that it'll make much difference to this lot down here though... Maybe I should heed the suggestion that OG made yesterday and migrate further north!!!!
Oh, and as much as I've said it many times before I will for the record repeat... To all you Brissie ladies W'n'W is one hell of a guy too.. If I lived closer I'd take him on but..!!!!! Go on ladies, what are you waiting for.. Send a goddamn kiss,,,.Good luck sweet lips..... "G"
Posted by: amdoingit at March 28, 2008 3:37 PM
Age difference .... some people seem to get stuck on it. Personally I look for common interests, attitudes, fitness levels, activities, music tastes ... if that person is older, younger, same age ... I don't really care. I accept ageing and that people look older (as do I) but I don't accept it when people let themselves go then want to meet someone younger.
Posted by: woodnwine at March 28, 2008 3:10 PM
Boys- still no answers to my 5.17pm blog. Maybe you don't like a girl who asks upfront?
Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 27, 2008 11:08 PM
I have no problems with girls being upfront in fact I actually prefer it.I already know in my mind whether I am interested or not so if the girl makes the first move it means that I am less likely to to find myself embarrassed or rejected
Then again I guess it depends on whether the girl is happy to risk being rejected as well
Posted by: abckenny at March 28, 2008 3:09 PM
Karina. If this blog gets too unwieldly is it not possible to slice the first half off and post it to archives then attacht the rest on closing ?
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at March 28, 2008 2:40 PM
OOhlala & groundhogday..your arguments sound reasonable..except when I think of the men that just can't dance and have no co ordination. Also people have differing levels of passion and how they express this.
Posted by: femalepersuasion at March 28, 2008 2:36 PM
Really Hymnagain,
I was not aware that I was attacking you, merely pointing out some of the irregularities in your posts, a couple of platitudes for the gulible, now all I am getting from you is insults and Geeeeeeeez, now that is immature, I am fully grown up and have the right to have my suspicions about your sincerity and others have the right to be sucked in by you if they wish. I notice one of your admirers had you at 30 love, After your capitulation to Marcus it is now Game Set and Match. Marcus will be happy with that, one of his quickest get under the skin victories.
I think it was groundhog that asked if sex could not be taught. A lot of us in my generation were taught, by very much older women, the war did create a great shortage of younger men. The thing that was so great was that we (most of us that were fortunate enough) were taught how to please the woman, to find out the woman's wishes and her personal delights, then to my great surprise I found out it is not necessary to penetrate to give her the "little death" as many times as she wanted it. No sex theorist is the schools in those days, just some very wise women, thank goodness. When is sex right, as I said previously, depends on time and circumstances.
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at March 28, 2008 2:31 PM
Woodnwine-your comment March 28 11.02 am. You make a fair point. Life, people, situations..it is all about the perceptions we choose to have of others and ourselves too.
This blog is a good topic..it is relevant to a dating site at least ( compared with the travel topic for instance)..but I can't help feel that perhaps we should have all worked this out by now ( I am assuming he
Thank you so much for your great comments but this blog is now closed.
Cheers,
Karina
Posted by: rsvpproducttest at March 31, 2008 10:41 AM