RSVP Blog
Proposals: Are You Ready for Married Life?
So you are in a relationship, and you are thinking about taking the plunge of all plunges -- marriage! How can you be sure, really sure, that you are making the right decision?
How important is love compared to sex, money and family on this decision? Is one more important than the other? Do you make a list of big questions to ask yourself? What are they?
Posted by March 28, 2008 1:39 PM
Latest Comments
Well said TLD
Marriage is special, it is courageous, a celebration, an affirmation of love.
If and when things get rocky, that people are legally tied together gives the a bit of time to pause, time to think.
It says to the other person they are very special, the one and only.
Posted by: virgil at April 7, 2008 11:26 AM
As I have said previously I think people should be themselves always and if the other person gets to know them and likes them, that's very good and if they get to know them and don't like them that's also good because then you know exactly where you stand.
Posted by: iaminperth at April 6, 2008 3:39 PM
Perth, you just get better and better, like a fine wine.
Posted by: virgil at April 7, 2008 11:14 AM
There seem to be a lot of people (mostly women) that are adamant they would never marry again .... why? Personally I have no great desire to re-marry but never say never.
Posted by: woodnwine at April 7, 2008 10:47 AM
TLD @ 10.51pm: Very well argued. You've almost convinced me, and I'm only looking for some years of part-time cohabitation for a start, while I'm still working. Off to do that. Seeyez.
Posted by: timewarp1 at April 7, 2008 9:21 AM
I will remarry again, seen in my dream.. It seems my beautiful butterfly to closed to come true, For the month of April, got 2 contacts left but one is gone,.. so only 1 left, hmm could be him? don't know yet. Been contact with him a year ago but due to his business hectic schedule and travelling of mine, we lost communication I didn't keep his phone and email address and I change my profile name. he couldn't locate me. Recently i came to his front page matches. He sent me email straightaway without kissed, I was amused he still remember my name, asking me what happened why we lost contact, I said i don't know, Urgently given me his landline to ring him. We talked often and met. Good, we got lots in common. I've told him I will travel soon. and he agree to it, as long as I'll keeps my promises in contact with him of my "whereabouts"....he understand cos his travellers too. First time I encountered guy understand my travel passion. Mostly men I've met against it, insecured- dont trust me and attention seekers. I cannot stand on that attitude.
It seems we got good arrangement giving both Space and Freedom and Trust. I think will get along well. We are both equals in all aspects....I'll keep my fingers crossed...
Posted by: aliane at April 7, 2008 8:09 AM
Hi all. Just back from some really good hard tennis - 5 on one court, meaning playing for a quarter of an hour and then sitting out 3 or 4 minutes, for 2.1/2 hours. And what did I miss here?
Officer Krupke @ 6.10pm: Mate, spitting the dummy doesn't make you into a baby who'd need bootees. Little boys of all ages do it. Wouldn't you rather have a nice warm knitted scarf for when you're providing security on cold nights? What pattern?
Justslagging @ 8.32pm: Congratulations on posting your research findings on every available channel, to guarantee maximum exposure.
Good marketing technique, but I have to ask: what are you actually advertising? Just looks like some random press clippings to me. As Pauline Chips used to say: Please explain!
PS: and 3 good posts came in from the other gender. Onyer TLD.
Posted by: timewarp1 at April 6, 2008 11:09 PM
Madrigal75, I think(despite all statistics) that there is still something special about getting married for the" first time (and hopefully only time) arounders"
To me it seems that marriage is a very happy milestone and celebration in life because a couples love and happiness commitment and intentions are declared before family and friends ,and everyone knows where they stand. Everyone loves lovers and being engaged, and getting married is a special time with all the attention on the couple,which you will always remember.
It should be an intensely romantic time too..a .not to be missed experience.
That does not translate into a wedding extravaganza of epic proportions...it seems to be the case the bigger the wedding the shorter the marriage!
People talk about commitment and finding 'the one" but "the one" only becomes "the one" through shared experiences of life which bond by either pleasure, or unfortunately overcoming some sort of adversity....the stuff memories are made of and which start to build a history which both wish to keep adding to and sharing together.
A commitment ceremony of some sort seems so much more of a basis for sharing life and truly bonding as a couple than just moving in together in my opinion. Knowing that the person you are living with has openly stood up and declared that they want to be a part of your life forever brings a great sense of security and trust and goodwill to start with.
Posted by: thelynathdiary at April 6, 2008 10:51 PM
Lynath Sweetest.
I was wondering when you would be tempted.
Should we now call you Chris, dimunitive of Christine, Christabel, Christina, Chrissie, Chrissy, Christian, Christiana, Christie, Christy, Kirsten, Kirsty, Kristen, Kristi, Kristie, Kristin, Kristine, Kristy, Tina.
And pray tell, what happened to that delightful photo of you in your santa hat. I was at least expecting it to be replaced by an easter bunny photo, or any other bunny photo for that matter. It is not as if you are unpleasing to the eye. It’s just that people like Timewarp think that Marcus might be “pricking” you.
Would you kindly direct your attention to these philanderers and remind them that they can keep their pricks away from your heavenly body.
And as for the great pretenders, those who try to make out on the blogs they are having success after success hereon, including FWBs who they conveniently hide from sight (as if any normal woman is going to tolerate that- well there are a few unfortunately who do but a good psychiatrist would not go astray or they should at least write to Lonely Hearts Columnists and get themselves straightened out)- well could I remind these pretenders that there is a huge credibility gap which they are not bridging.
Posted by: richardzkruspe at April 6, 2008 10:16 PM
As my other post on What Do Men and Women Want?, hasn't come through as quickly.
In the interests of fairness to the offended (Posted by: justsaying at April 6, 2008 8:32 PM,)
I previously expanded to include two others on the same day, on What Do Men and Women Want?, at April 5, 2008 9:08 PM.
A pity some are so one-eyed.
Guess that's why they have some trouble reading and counting -all that emotional clouding of judgement.
Posted by: justsaying at April 6, 2008 9:06 PM
Just for the types who can't help defending their abusers (this is why some are not ready for the real facts of marriage,) absorb reams of opinions as facts and, think I am "picking on" any "one" attitude, check my latest post on What do men and woman want:
Also, this was originally posted Sat 5.4.8 on Proposals: Are You Ready for Married Life?
Posted by: richardzkruspe at April 5, 2008 12:47 PM,
>"Do not let the Neanderthal female regressions in anyway intimidate your right to express your opinion without breaching basic internet security."
Then out-of-date oldergent at April 5, 2008 1:17 PM,
>"Richard.
Last time I looked you at least had the guts to have you photo and profile showing."
and then,
Posted by: timewarp1 at April 5, 2008 1:50 PM,
>"Officer Krupke, you're off form today. Lost your zap somewhere. ....
Wasn't much more entertaining than my stuff mate".
----------------------------------------------
Warped again mate. Trying to equate yourself with fish crust is an insult (much as I hate to say it,) to him.
Also, take a look. The said profile is now invisible.
Therefore, does that make TW a,
>"Neanderthal female" (Richardzkruspe at April 5, 2008 12:47 PM),
who has prompted the now invisible state of the other Krusty one?
Like iaminperth at April 5, 2008 3:10 PM says:
>"I'sn't it a laugh that one old bloke, although he thinks like a 62 year old...what the ?? who has stated he will not bother with me any more includes my name in his condescending comments in nearly every one of his blogs. Amazing really being so busy......I don't really think so."
Posted by: justsaying at April 6, 2008 8:32 PM
Can anyone suggest why anybody should bother getting married in this day and age ? It wouldn't be for security or money or whatever because de factos have the same rights in Australia as marrieds. Hardly anyone believes it's sinful to live together anymore, and since a huge proportion (too lazy to google it, sorry) of marriages end in divorce anyway, what exactly is the point or relevance of a piece of paper saying you're committed to another person until the day when one of you changes their mind ?
Posted by: madrigal75 at April 6, 2008 8:31 PM
I will never get married again and I dont want to. I dont even want to live again with another. Just give me two wonderful dates each week and that is more than enough. This way I am still be me and have my life but have a companion to enjoy stuff with too. A complete life.
Posted by: oohlala1 at April 6, 2008 2:21 PM
oohlala1,
Hi! I am fairly much of a similar mind about the whole getting married again question. If it was right for a partner (only hypothetical at this stage) and me, I would happily live in my house and they could stay in theirs and just see each other when we felt like it. No idea why there is such a need/urge/desire for people to cohabit. Plus I have teenage sons so that is a big ask for a man to deal with and a big change for my sons. Living apart from someone though dating would in theory suit me. Also once I would never entertained the idea of living with someone outside of marriage. Now I am not sure I would dismiss that idea either. It would entirely depend on me and this hypothetical partner. Marriage would be cool if it was what both of us wanted. "How important is love compared to sex, money and family on the decision of marriage.." is part of the question. Well I would not have sex with out love. Love without lovemaking is not ideal but happens to people due to injury, illness. The cake and the icing, is the ideal. A relationship is about flexibility and compromise you would think. You can not compare love to sex as the question says. I have lived with love and not much money before so I would have to say love would be more important than money to me. As a mother, my house is my children's inheritance, so am not about to throw that away. We have blogged about this before, several times in other blogs. As a Mum, I have some responsibility to my children so have to consider their needs. We live in society so need money. How important is love compared to family, we are asked. Well I love my family in a different way to a partner. After being alone for 6 years I would try to do the right thing by my family and a hypothetical partner plus myself. You sure can not please everyone. I tend to stuff things up by thinking too much about them so hope to go into a long term relationship (if it happens) in a relaxed way. It is human and normal to have doubts I think. Oh and I am not in a relationship so may not be qualified to comment on this topic even.
Slightsync
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at April 6, 2008 8:10 PM
RichardzKruspe, men don't sit in the corner at respite...any centre of quality now has it's own "shed" just for the 'blokes'.. don't worry you'll love it....
Posted by: thelynathdiary at April 6, 2008 6:34 PM
Timewarp
I’m being quite serious.
We’re back to letting knitting needles into the AFL football.
So every time I see a set of knitting needles in a blokes’ handbag, I do not flinch.
I just ask him to knit a pair of booties for me.
Posted by: richardzkruspe at April 6, 2008 6:10 PM
As I have said previously I think people should be themselves always and if the other person gets to know them and likes them, that's very good and if they get to know them and don't like them that's also good because then you know exactly where you stand.
Posted by: iaminperth at April 6, 2008 3:39 PM
Officer Krupke @ 1.11pm: Thank you for taking my argument another step forward.
I'm reminded of the Far Side cartoon of the 2 old dogs lounging in rocking chairs on the front verandah.
The postman comes past, and it's a cat in uniform.
One dog says "You know Fred, when we were a bit younger, we wouldn't have stayed in our chairs, would we?"
A mate of mine says it like this: "The older I get, the better I was. That's why they're called the Good Old Days."
And don't the blokes on the sidelines get cranky if one of them breaks ranks, gets a "self-serving" life, mixes with the sheilas and (fraternity forbid!) actually gets popular with them? It'd drive a bloke to get all catty!
Posted by: timewarp1 at April 6, 2008 3:39 PM
I agree Perth,
Why do people insist on making a point of saying they "act younger than their age"?
Admittedly I guess this may be okay for someone in their late 60s to say something like this (people are ageist and tend to generalise about older people; but I know men and women in their 80s who are years younger physically, and intellectually smarter, than some people in their 40s & 50s who drink, smoke and/or take drugs way too much!!), but why would someone in their 40s feel the need to say such a thing?
Surely the best part about someone in their late 30s and onwards is that they have (hopefully!) learned some of life's lessons, learned how to be themselves and not care what other people think, and are less angry and judgemental.
I suppose men might say something like this if they are keen to attract someone younger than themselves, but isn't maturity and all the qualities that hopefully go with it, the reason why some younger women look for an older partner in the first place? They find the attitudes of men their own age seriously lacking?
So why would a bloke want to point out he may be nearing 50, but he only has the maturity of a 30 yo? Where is the benefit in that?
The same with a woman. I guess she may feel it necessary to say she LOOKS younger (for obvious reasons: the boys keep telling us how "visual" they are!!) but a lot of men appreciate the lack of drama that many older women bring into a relationship, so why would you want to emphasise you BEHAVE younger?
It certainly seems counterproductive to me!
Posted by: amberlight58 at April 6, 2008 2:52 PM
I never want to join the gang as they then have too much control over you and your behaviour. as soon as you join you no longer are free to have your own opinions and responses. they can rule your lives in subversive unhealthy ways. they can manipulate you an dtry to shape you to conform. I say be an individual always and be happy that you have made your own choices in life.
I will never get married again and I dont want to. I dont even want to live again with another. Just give me two wonderful dates each week and that is more than enough. This way I am still be me and have my life but have a companion to enjoy stuff with too. A complete life.
Posted by: oohlala1 at April 6, 2008 2:21 PM
YouareinPerth @ 3.10pm: You are right of course. Always. I guess I'll have to confess - I tried to give you up. I really did. Tried hard. But you're addictive, and I just can't.
Please forgive me - and respond to my post below at 1.44am on April 4 about my secret threesome with OG and Kianee. And have a red first, so you won't be too hard on me. Pretty please.
Posted by: timewarp1 at April 6, 2008 2:07 PM
Yes, Timewarp
Men do certainly go around in gangs.
Once they get to a certain age, they gang up and sit in a corner together at the Respite Centre, their walking frames propped up beside them, talk endlessly about pacemakers and their need for a replacement valve or stent, till the Activities Director brings round a cup of tea and asks them if they want to go on the next bus trip because all the ladies are going and no “men” have yet volunteered, and Frank, speaking for the group as a whole, politely declines anything remotely resembling “doing” anything as Fred, the oldest member of their age group, is turning 50 in 3 months time, and they have to consider whether his heart can take a few extra beers or not, let alone the strain of climbing aboard the Nursing Home mini bus.
Posted by: richardzkruspe at April 6, 2008 1:11 PM
Hi justsaying,
Perhaps you could pick on someone else other than timewarp?
Haven't you got anything better to do?
Surely all people, no matter how unselfish they try to be, are "self-serving" and defensive at least part of the time!
Posted by: amberlight58 at April 6, 2008 12:34 PM
You'reinPerth @ 9.35pm: You were spot on about single men on holiday when you said "I travelled the SW not so long ago staying in local pubs and motels and there were certainly no single men wandering around doing things."
I believe that single men, whether teenandtwenties or middle-aged recycled singles, are heavily focussed on socialising with their male friends.
They go around in gangs, and their main focus whereever they are is on communicating with the other gang members - positively to maintain gang cohesion, or competitively (rubbishing, teasing etc) to maintain or improve their position in the peck-order within the gang.
Their interface with anything or anyone outside the gang is subsidiary, unless it's seeing off some other gang, or chatting up chicks.
If you do see a bloke out on his own enjoying something for its own sake, pounce on him and chat him up, because he's a misfit for a gang member, and therefore a maybe for a real partner for a discerning woman.
I can also relate to your point about everyone claiming to "act younger than their age."
I blame the fountain-of-youth industry, from hair transplants for blokes to wrinkle cream and plastic surgery for women.
They have used their advertising dollars to get the media on board, conning everyone to believe that if you're not young, or at least young for your age, no-one will want you, except coffin-makers.
With the same message coming from every part of the media, no wonder people buy it, and in their own RSVP ads, claim it.
I'm 72 and went 4 years ago to a boys-high-school reunion. Everyone else there (about a hundred) were bald or grey or white haired. Nearly all stooped and slow-moving. Retired and grinding to a halt. And their average age a year under mine.
How do I find my match - a woman who's still both as active and as ungeriatric-looking as I am (people who first meet me guess early 60s) - WITHOUT claiming to look and act young for my age?
Can you advise me please Perth?
Posted by: timewarp1 at April 6, 2008 12:15 PM
Many thanks jenjen. :-)
Re: justsaying's attitude to timewarp ahhh I see, I have to be honest I haven't looked up his profile so wasn't aware it was hidden - makes sense I guess. Still don't see what he could possibly have against someone nice like timewarp though.... strange!!
Perhaps he feels threatened teehee :P
Posted by: sunrizesiesta at April 6, 2008 11:04 AM
Best of luck sunrise :)) It is always nice to hear when one of us meets someone nice and things are starting well.
As for justsaying's attitude to timewarp, it is always easy for someone with a hidden profile to slag off someone else !!
Posted by: jenjen57 at April 6, 2008 6:58 AM
Justsledging @ 1.07 pm: Hello mate. Thanks for the big compliment of choosing me to sledge. So good for my morale.
When I was a young bloke we were taught to start with the head hair, and then move down progressively, pausing to explore any points of interest along the way.
I'd only got down as far as the boobs by my last post, so I was glad that you remembered where you go next, and could prompt me.
And very interested in your mentioning the theory about mens' "transference of hindquarter admiration."
I had previously thought about the way girls like the look of a nice tight pair of buns, and had in my mind put the two together way back when - when like the aborigines on walkabout, he went ahead with his spear, and she followed behind with a baby on her hip, and maybe another in the rumble seat.
Looking back he'd see boobs hanging down framing the rumble seat, and looking forward she'd see buns undulating as he strode along. Respective reassuring signals that everything's hunky dory.
(JMO. There may be another better explanation for the comfort we get from these ancient reassurances. Do you know one?)
And thanks for reminding me @ 8.20pm that I'd forgotten to delete that by-line at the end of the freeisnot extract, once I'd duplicated it at the front of the extract.
I miss my full-time secretary, now that I have to do my own typing, and am always grateful when altruistic people draw attention to my many shortcomings.
I spent a couple of hours on the conceptual design of the walker loader, and will draw it up to scale tomorrow.
Only mentioned it because of a sobering thought - if I paired off with someone my calendar age, rather than my ten-years-younger timewarped health-and-fitness age, I might be making an identical hoist for her in only ten years' time. That's too soon!
Posted by: timewarp1 at April 5, 2008 11:03 PM
I think a lot of problem with the profiles is that people put a lot of things that they would like to be, not who they really are. I find that so many people, especially around my age group who are obsessed with, think younger than my age'.........what does that mean ? is there an age on thinking ? Look younger than my age? by whose standards...other people tell me I look younger than my age...well yes, they're not going to walk up and ask are they. Then we have the scuba diving, the bungee jumping, wining and dining and the red wine, the walks all the other things. Well I actually do walk having a very large dog and I don't see any single males walking around with dog or otherwise. Looking for someone slim and attractive when they are.....oh shoosh, rather not slim and attractive. Must be a good kisser some say, but you look and they say they smoke.....ewwww! I travelled the SW not so long ago staying in local pubs and motels and there were certainly no single men wandering around doing things. This obsession with a whole profile of what they look like and whether they look younger, act younger is rather meaningless to me. The act younger really intrigues me, act younger than what, a geriatric, a teenager, do we have rules for acting at certain ages. I don't act and just try to get on with life and be successful in what I do and hopefully will one day meet someone who wants to do the same. If not, so be it. I really don't want to meet someone who is an actor, seems rather silly to me.
Posted by: iaminperth at April 5, 2008 9:35 PM
Warpy1, do try to get your quotes right.
You signed off,
>"Posted by: freeisnot at April 4, 2008 10:14 PM",
right after a heap of your meanderings including your self-serving,
>"I'm guessing" (about Freeisnot's own experiences,)
which you then jerk off into your own sufferings at the hands of a supposed >"control freak".
-Weren't you a lucky one??
Perhaps you should've stuck with someone who could contain you.
Finishing off your spiel by detailing your supposed altruistic weekend "work", how saintly.
But you're not the only one around your age, who actually works (rather than just "come and look",) seven days a week.
As well as, field early morning phone calls from clients.
Being awake early is easy; one of the benefits to growing older.
Staying awake and alert is another matter, as just proved so well with another of your slip-ups involving yet another entry.
Slip-ups with fundamentals is definitely a reason not to take the,
> "plunge of all plunges -marriage",
-blog topic.
Posted by: justsaying at April 5, 2008 8:20 PM
amberlight - many thanks for your well wishes.
justsaying - you're fantastic with words - I especially loved the "siesta while the sun rizes". I'm not getting the whole attitude you have to timewarp1 though?
timewarp1 - thanks for your well wishes. We have similar interests and just happen to have similar kids which is a bonus... It all looks very positive so far. :-)
Ok I'll go check out the other blogs now and see what good ole Marcus is up to... :P
Posted by: sunrizesiesta at April 5, 2008 8:04 PM
Sunrize @ 9.15am: That's reassuring news. Hope it keeps looking good, and that he'll welcome your kids and not try to compete with them for your attention. And vice versa. (= the other way around.)
Your Ex must have been pretty nasty for it to be 10 years before you started thinking of a man for your new life.
I've first-dated about a hundred women in RSVP in the last 27 months, plus about 50 in the late '90s from answering newspaper Personal Ads, and for women after divorce it averaged only 5 to 7 years before the loneliness overcame the fear of another bad experience. (3 months to 2 years for the men they'd met - most men are not as self-sufficient as most women.)
And thank you for your good wishes for my future.
Freeisnot @ 10.14pm wrote: "Perhaps the most important (question) is whether there is enough trust in the relationship to explore the physical together in tenderness.
Also (there) is the question about whether you are prepared to disagree and still love - does it matter more to agree than to to love in a broader sense."
I'm guessing you've had a bad experience/ bad life with a control freak. Me too. They are so insecure inside that they need to get everyone to agree on the outside that they are right about everything. Yes - everything.
They yell or they freeze you off, because they're not into love - they're into power. If you don't mean more to him than his ideas do, let him stay married to his ideas and move on. Three's a crowd.
I must move too - just had a phonecall from someone aged 81 from 2 suburbs away who wants gear to winch his wife's wheeled walker up into his car boot and down again, and wants me to come and look now.
Weekend business when your competitors are not open is a real $ benefit of working from home. But there goes my planned siesta after my late night blogging last night, and my early phonecall from a Melbourne customer this morning. Seeyez.
Posted by: freeisnot at April 4, 2008 10:14 PM
Posted by: timewarp1 at April 5, 2008 1:32 PM
Another bum rap?
Posted by: timewarp1 at April 5, 2008 3:41 AM
>"...to be adequately endowed up top.
>That's what nearly all men prefer, no matter what they say to put you down."
Come now, Dinosaur1. Some like the other end too.
Even prefer it and not afraid to be thought as batting for the other side.
There's a school of thought that boob fanciers are the flashy trashy types who only go for show, while bum men are the down to earth types.
Same school on sexual perceptions, deem upper mammaries as simple transference of hindquarter admiration.
Then we have the leg men, face men, foot men...
Some women really love a footman. Nothing like being served, for simply having dainty feet.
Subtlety in the art of appreciating the opposite sex, OhDinosaur1, is something to be remembered or even learnt.
Otherwise, a slavering, sleazy, perving old male is known as a DOM aka dirty old male (definition for the recently hatched).
So, be a good lad, avoid OD1DOM, the opposite of "wisdom" and don't let the side down.
Then you never know, you may be mature enough for marriage and not just having a siesta while the sun rizes. (By the way, good working of that old routine to get a target to discuss her assets.)
Speaking of assets, there's a politician in good old WA, that got away with undoing bra straps (check timewarp1's introduction at April 4, 2008 7:23 PM) and he's married....still.
But he's young and has that lovely, government superannuation pension ready to be divided, if his long-suffering wife can stick with him until cash/judgement day.
Posted by: justsaying at April 5, 2008 1:07 PM
Good Luck, Deborah.
I hope it all works out for you.
Cheers & happy dating
Posted by: amberlight58 at April 5, 2008 11:12 AM
timewarp1 - I say never give up hope - I am sure that there is a lovely lady out there for you. :-)
I've been through the messy divorce stuff my ex is not a nice man - so much so that I didn't look for anyone until this year - some 10 years on. Not that I ever thought of playing for the other side, I just wasn't ready until this year to even contemplate the thought of having a man in my life - my kids and my work and my house were my life up to this point in time.
Now I can happily report that I have met a nice man from RSVP and we've had 3 dates so far, so heres hoping.
You take care.
Kind regards,
Deborah :-)
Posted by: sunrizesiesta at April 5, 2008 9:15 AM
Hi sunrize. Seems like just you and me here bebby, so I can tell you a secret: Lucky little you to be adequately endowed up top.
That's what nearly all men prefer, no matter what they say to put you down.
In the queue at the servo, grab a quick glance inside a copy of Picture magazine, and prove it for yourself.
Back to the blogtopic before it closes:
Ready to marry again? Me? After last time?
With Marcus and justsledging both busy on the other blog, I can tell you I'm now 72 acting like 62, but after an expensive divorce and then bankruptcy that I didn't pay back till 2004, I need to work till I'm about 80 acting like 70.
In my business that's hungry for space - about 30 sq mtrs of office and document storage and 50 to 60 for storing my trading stock. Only a woman on acreage would have an empty shed that size, but I need to be within about 20km of the CBD, to be within range of my main clientele.
And I need at least 2 or 3 nights a week away from her bed, to catch up on my sleep and reload.
Who's going to marry me on those terms?
Posted by: timewarp1 at April 5, 2008 3:41 AM
Hello! I am new at all of this. My experience suggests that there are some big questions you need to answer to your satisfaction and then forget them. Perhaps the most important is whether there is enough trust in the relationship to explore the physical together in tenderness. Also is the question about whether you are prepared to disagree and still love - does it matter more to agree than to to love in a broader sense
Posted by: freeisnot at April 4, 2008 10:14 PM
Timewarp1 - not meaning to sound modest but I wish I needed a Bendon, sometimes I'd like to have less in that department...!
Posted by: sunrizesiesta at April 4, 2008 9:12 PM
Sunrize @ 5.49pm: Thank you for the compliment. Not much fun playing court jester if no-one claps.
As an engineer, I have been interested over the years in the physics of bra design, as well as perfecting the once-useful male skill of undoing them one-handed through a blouse, in one second.
Out of practice this last 45 years, since women abandoned their co-dependence, and started wanting to do everything for themselves
The first major bra design breakthrough was aeronautical engineer/film director Howard Hughes' invention in the early 1950s of an avalanche-preventing cantilevered strapless model for girlfriend, movie star and foine big girl Jane Russell.
Then Bendon, working at the opposite end of the very-much bell-shaped curve, found a way to create valleys where there had previously been none, by exerting pressure sideways instead of from below.
Nice engineering, and very moralistic too, because when the bra comes off, the topography disappears in the flash, and a girl wouldn't want to be a disappointment on further inspection, would she?
Must go and have my first look at the newer blog. Been a bit busy this week. Seeyez.
Posted by: timewarp1 at April 4, 2008 7:23 PM
Teehee I love your sense of humour timewarp1. I guess Bendon does have a lot to answer for!!
Posted by: sunrizesiesta at April 4, 2008 5:49 PM
Hi all. Only just made it to the blog tonight. Heavy all-day seminar on Web Marketing all day (and all day tomorrow.) Took in another seminar tonight by Dakota Don Tolman on the way home across town, and I bought his $220 book on what foods prevent what geriatric diseases, etc. Then emails and faxes to the customers who'd phoned today and missed me while I was in class.
1) "Kianee whenever have I said that men are the root of all evil, are you timewarp in disguise.... most of my best friends are men because they are fun and easy going and like to sit around and eat and have a glass of wine and a good laugh......
I can't sit around with a load of giggly women, talking crap and wondering whose boobs are going to shoot out of their tops first....."
Posted by: iaminperth at April 2, 2008 4:20 PM.
2) "I'm lost here I asked if Oldergent was Timewarp in disguise not a 63 year old woman !"
Posted by: iaminperth at April 3, 2008 4:24 PM
3) What a difference a day makes!
I'm in Brisbane not Perth, but I can safely tell everyone two things: OG isn't Kianee, and Bendon has a lot to answer for. Cheers dears.
Posted by: timewarp1 at April 4, 2008 1:44 AM
I have received quite a lot of contact with a lot of nice profiles to match. I always find it a little funny when I am contacted by someone who has ticked the box "No do not like Pets" I would think by my pic that it would be pretty obvious that I do....or I suppose that could be a fatty stuffed furry toy that I am holding!
Posted by: iaminperth at April 3, 2008 7:41 PM
Someone I would venture to say (hope this doesn't provoke another catty reaction) who is not ready for marriage yet.
woodnwine at April 3, 2008 9:06 AM:
Oh dear oh-whiney-one, no need to get your knickers in a twist.
Or count your three blogs on this topic to my one (excluding this one reply).
There, do you feel better?
Now you've had your mini PMS hissy fit and someone has actually taken notice of it?
Posted by: justsaying at April 3, 2008 7:22 PM
PS....My profile is hidden now and again....I need to so I can concentrate on work during the day....the reason is not sinister or evil...:-)
Have a lovely evening..the weekend is almost here...yay!!!
Cheers,
B.
Posted by: bm1960 at April 3, 2008 7:09 PM
Oops...I posted twice....
Cheers,
B.
Posted by: bm1960 at April 3, 2008 6:36 PM
Hi Perth.
No I am not Timewarp in any way shape or form. No desire to have his hectic life style. Perth I am completly self sufficeint in every way, the only thing lacking is the companionship of a suitable lady companion, just that. If I find a like minded person with the same understanding fine,if not, nothing much is going to change from now is it. In your age group the frantic search for a life partner is paramount,maybe it is worry about losing looks, putting on weight or a hundred of other reasons, but I am under no pressure at all, I have met some very nice people and am corresponding with some now, some have decided that I am not what they are looking for and some I have decided their demands are not what I want so we have a mutual and polite parting and is not that what this site is about.
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at April 3, 2008 6:10 PM
In answer to the topic heading.....2 words...'absolutely no'. I have a happy life and don't imagine changing it in the foreseeable future, but perhaps later down the track. A partner would be nice, but I am not in a rush to get married or co-habitate just yet. A good saying is 'Fools rush in where angels fear to tread'...I am neither a fool or an angel though!!!!! Well, mayhaps a bit of a fool sometimes...:-)
Cheers to all,
B.
Posted by: bm1960 at April 3, 2008 5:15 PM
In answer to the topic heading.....2 words...'absolutely no'. I have a happy life and don't imagine changing it in the foreseeable future, but perhaps later down the track. A partner would be nice, but I am not in a rush to get married or co-habitate just yet. A good saying is 'Fools rush in where angels fear to tread'...I am neither a fool or an angel though!!!!! Well, mayhaps a bit of a fool sometimes...:-)
Cheers to all,
B.
Posted by: bm1960 at April 3, 2008 4:58 PM
I'm lost here I asked if Oldergent was Timewarp in disguise not a 63 year old woman ! yikes Also I am not being condescent I do think that most men like their creature comforts a lot and would be perfectly happy doing all their blokey things in a calm way and then going home to a woman for food sex and sleep. I'm not being condescending at all I just believe that is the way it is. Sure you can haul them out of their comfort zones but I think most crave a simpler life than we expect them to be able to live and cope with.
Posted by: iaminperth at April 3, 2008 4:24 PM
WnW, not if l had a sock in my pocket......
But then if l had a sock in my pocket l guess l wouldn't need much else eh?.........K
Posted by: auntykaz at April 3, 2008 4:00 PM
Thanks Kianee - many of us can get beyond the basic impulses.
Posted by: woodnwine at April 3, 2008 3:01 PM
continuation of my previos blog which seems to be missing .......I have a different perception of men,and somehow think that most men have more on their minds than work, food, sex and sleep, otherwise I would not be on RSVP.
Posted by: kianee at April 3, 2008 1:46 PM
Woodnwine thank you for april 2nd @ 3.01, And Junebaby @4.28
Iaminperth :re april 2nd @ 4.20, no, I am not timewarp in diguise, I do not play charades
To me your posts of april the 2nd @11.14 and again 4.20 appear to be quite condesending to most males.
Comments like; …… “I don't really think that men think about a lot more than their jobs, whether they're hungry or want sex.”
Or again…….” Men, whilst they can be lovely creatures are really very simple souls”
Then …….“Just look at a male if he gets a cold or a headache, oh boo hoo and women push a huge baby out of a very tender spot on their body”
And again at 4.30
“I simply said I believe them at heart to be rather simple creatures meaning simple needs who like food, sex and sleep. I mean cook a man a really nice meal with a couple of glasses of wine and most think they have died and gone to heaven”
Do you really think men are this simple?
I have a different perception of men,and somehow think that most men have more on their minds than
Posted by: kianee at April 3, 2008 11:48 AM
I recall being told by someone in the sex post that it was wromg, or just like a bloke to look at the picture, but when all the toes were pointing upwards, when some should have been pointing downwards seemed odd.
Picking the bit that doesnt match is good in my line of work.
I had chosen not to comment on the picture, it is a windy overcast day, that could rain anytime, he looks like he is getting ready to run. On the blanket, they could not sit further away from each other.
Posted by: virgil at April 3, 2008 11:22 AM
Blueeyes.
Sorry, I just picked up on yours of the 2/7@4.27, No reference to any of yours, purely in response to Marcus, it was the vision of the Faceless sniper buzzing around the posts to lay his maggots on that set me off.
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at April 3, 2008 10:42 AM
justsaying - I think you'll find my mental health comment was spot on if you got out more instead of justsaying everything.
Posted by: woodnwine at April 3, 2008 9:06 AM
auntykaz - but would you be able to find the note?
Posted by: woodnwine at April 3, 2008 9:02 AM
whoops...that should read "keep a sock in our pocket" ... (not in Auntykaz's pocket)
Posted by: waterbombe at April 3, 2008 6:15 AM
Is this a boring topic? Everyone seems to be off topic here. Most of the bloggers are apparently divorced, Karina. Perhaps a better topic would be "Are you ready for married life again?" The postings would be short though. By the sound of things most people would post No. But that's understandable, given the horrors that lead to divorce...I just don't believe people leave their marriages easily. Most of us put up with some shocking stuff before we go, especially if we have children. I agree, Auntykaz, it's really important to leave all that behind you...we should all keep a sock in your pocket to stuff in our mouths before we open it to bag our ex...there's nothing less attractive. Oh, Marcus, you could keep the sock in your pocket so you look more appealing, in an evolutionary way, I mean.
Posted by: waterbombe at April 3, 2008 6:13 AM
From one extreme to another it seems.
>" "A dog, a woman and a walnut tree -
the more ye beat 'em, the better they be."
>Both strike me as a bit too much of a good thing." Posted by: timewarp1 at April 2, 2008 12:25 AM.
What tha??????????? The original dinosaur seems to be retreating deeper into his cave of primeval "strike me" primitiveness.
Contrasted by theotheroldApe aka oldergent at April 2, 2008 5:49 PM who wrote he was formerly trained in Pitman's shorthand, no less but doesn't know the difference between a hem and seam when prattling on about his housewifely skills.
Will the self-serving OOA/OG ever stop???
(Shall we all synchronise our rap chant to "Will the right man stand up, stand up, stand up?")
If a woman wrote about house chores on this blog (seeing as it's nothing to do with the topic) no doubt it would be ho hum, so what, the little woman is just doing what she's designed to do.
Is it no wonder OG signed off as "Oc"....perhaps finally signifying his equality to women in one "area" at least.
This is also complemented by our oh so sensitive one, WnW at April 2, 2008 6:12 PM, who goes on to prove how multi-tasking his assets really are with advice on feng shui at April 2, 2008 7:49 PM but losing it with, >"concentrate on the mental health checks?", at April 2, 2008 8:19 AM.
Why does the old phrase "physician, heal thyself first" arise (or limp, as the case may be) to mind with his reference?
Now onto another contradiction (honestly, blokes; it's amazing how some of you seem to be PMSing, pre, post and mid menopausal -all at the same time, with your behaviour on here):
virgil's criticism at April 1, 2008 10:29 PM (this is an April Fool's joke, right?)
>"Just saying, if I thought something was a piece of crap, I am not backward in saying it. .... unlike yourself. I stand up for what I believe in."
So, "VirgilSaying" -"if I thought something was a piece of crap, I am not backward in saying it", is okay.
But, NOT VALID when "JustSaying" is "not backward in saying it"?
Virginnia, you have to make up your mind, mate, which side of fairness you're on and stick to it.
The comment of yours, >"I stand up for what I believe in", usually means you allow other people the privilege of doing so, too.
Or, am I and others, not allowed that privilege, simply because YOU SAY SO?
I think you've earned the privilege of being called a right so and so, with your petulance (as per oohlala1's following comment).
oohlala1 said at April 2, 2008 8:40 AM re the Virgin,
>"This man reminds me of all the older men in my culture who think they rule the women and when they cant they are scathing and petulant in reply."
On the subject of replies, poor old IaminPerth certainly does get a whipping and mangling of her OWN considered opinions. Is she being witchified for expressing her experienced knowledge, as bluntly as a man?
An oestrogen input and nice save with aliane at April 1, 2008 9:38 PM,
>"You are ALL my Blog-Friends & Friends Without Benefits."
A classic, riversong at April 1, 2008 9:40 PM
>" Umm... re the blog "Are you ready for married life" - I guess from all the bickering in here, the answer is no ;)"
You've hit it right on the head. From the bigger one, too. Gosh, darn, what a shame you're only a woman!!! This last comment of course, is just a sop and suck up, to the little head thinkers.
So where is there a balance in rational, fair and considered opinions from the male side?
I've got a proposal in addition to the blog topic's:
Will the real men speak up, speak up, speak up?
(Repetitive training of neurones may work yet.)
Posted by: justsaying at April 3, 2008 2:11 AM
oohlala, fair comment from a feeder of peoples.
I was wondering about the picnickers too. I think hes having a go at her. Granny smith cooking apples (or is it pears?) and greenish bananas and nothing for the rolls.
He is wondering seriously about future homemaking skills. She is wondering what she is doing with a bloke who wears his muscle shirt after 3 weeks at the gym and sets up the picnic in the wave zone.
Both wish they had brought a windcheater.
Posted by: laughsandtalks at April 3, 2008 12:46 AM
Virgil @ 8.05pm: Don't fret, mate. Think what the terms really mean:
1) The alpha male just does what always worked for millions of years, or he would have been bred out long ago. He goes back past apes, baboons, langur monkeys, stallions, bulls, rams ...
You try to protect your missus and kids from all the dangers they face, including starvation, freezing to death, dangerous predators from lions to crocodiles - and other males who are hoping to kill you and your kids, before recruiting your missus to perpetuate their bloodline instead of yours.
Thank the alpha males in your bloodline, generation after generation, who together with their infant-succouring females, brought your bloodline as far as you.
2) Any other kind of male is an anomaly - a luxury of civilisation, and its employment of police and others, both to keep the peace and to feed the incapable or unmotivated, so that you don't have to do that for yourself all the time.
I read somewhere that until the 1960s couples' hopes were to avoid bad things happening to them, so they could raise their kids in peace.
Then suddenly in the 60s, the idea spread that people DESERVE to be able to be HAPPY all the time, instead of just hoping not to be too unhappy too often.
That really raised the ante, because It moved the spotlight from our responsibilities to our rights.
Women started pushing for more than just the vote that their grandmothers had padlocked themselves onto fences to secure.
Including better treatment from their men, and even the chance to survive and prosper without a man.
Enter the Sensitive New Age Guy or SNAG, armed only with "pretty please", instead of "bloody do what I tell yer, woman, or I'll black yer eye!"
Which meant that he HAD to have a self-serving tongue, to turn "please" into "please, and this is why you should..."
The response was varied. Some women pounced on doormat males, so that they could turn the traditional tables and bully or ignore them. Been there myself, and won't be back. Ever.
Some women spurned the doormat with their foot, and lusted after someone more uncontrollable and therefore more exciting - a young alpha looking for somewhere to sow his oats.
Including almost all the teenage girls in my circle. Their mothers would say "That young Bill ....... has such lovely manners. What about him?" And they'd say "He'd probably even ask you for a kiss - 100% safe and that's dead boring. I want to feel my virtue's under siege every minute of the date, or it's no fun!"
And some women turned their back on both alpha and omega, and were more openly gay than their aunts had been.
3) And then there's OldGeezer72, now renamed OG.
Virgil mate, putting himself up as a 3rd alternative was just a lovely tongue-in-cheek stir, and look how many took the bait! Good fishing, Robert!
Posted by: timewarp1 at April 3, 2008 12:15 AM
Virg.
I did give all males the option of choice. I am surprised that all the males on the site did not come down on the "me" side. But when you came swinging down from the trees to my amazement, I wondered about your transformation from a "me" to Tarzan and wondered if there were any "Janes" going to follow you, no wonder the males stayed in the background, wanting to see the "Janes" come forth ( and no doubt to check out the profiles) .
Virgil I did not describe you as anything, you did that yourself, in that case. yes "you were wrong". Yes you are clearly not me to the satisfaction of both of us.
Ohlala.
I have been watching that picture from the start of the blog and thinking how much nicer it would have been. Put beside a small mountain river with the young couple glistening with the cold water on naked bodies. Him opening the gourd of Grappa and the sheet spread with the bread and salamis, cheeses, bowls of pickled olives and garlic, the dills, the figs and dates some dried plums and the sour creams, and her thinking Oh, paradise is enow, him thinking I got this right. I wonder why the young people do not do this now. Oh for the yesterdays of our youth.
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at April 2, 2008 11:09 PM
Perth, just make sure your feet aren't pointing in the direction of the doorway or a mirror. Also bedhead not in front of window. Regardless of which way house faces etc, these are important. Usually if it feels right to you it is.. Good luck.. "G"
Posted by: amdoingit at April 2, 2008 10:46 PM
Geez l can't organise my life let alone my bedroom laminperth!!
Seriously though l like to have my window open as well just a bit of fresh air circulating, and leave my drapes open as l like to see the stars and the moon when in bed. Is that anything to do with feng shui ??
Dont know much about it, which is probably why l can't organise my life !!! ....Memo to self...must try a bit harder to be organised...............K
Posted by: auntykaz at April 2, 2008 10:14 PM
Hinterlandlover Today 6:38
Err, isn't it best to organise your bedroom so everything fits, is accesible and you can move around easily.
Iampert. Today, often.
Haha. Keep em coming.
From one of the simple souls who's gender efforts in science, engineering and social organisation have helped double life expectancy and given living condition improvements that make life in 21st century Australia a paradise for most.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at April 2, 2008 8:06 PM
Seems that we have 3 types of male on this site "The rip roaring Alpha ape" "The self serving SNAG" "Then me" the only one that seems normal. Take your pick gentlemen. lol.
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at April 2, 2008 1:43 PM
When you described 3 types of male here it seemed to me you have broken our truce by describing me as a self serving snag, as the only alternative was yourself or an alpha ape?
I am clearly not you.
I would not see myself as an alpha ape
so I can only assume you have described me as a self seeking snag?
am I wrong?
Posted by: virgil at April 2, 2008 8:05 PM
That picnic doesnt look very appetising. What is it a couple of dry rolls and boring fruit. Any wonder he doesnt look happy.
Posted by: oohlala1 at April 2, 2008 8:03 PM
True woody, the hems go round and round I was refering to the reading and response of the posts, now I am going to hide before the Virg come swinning down for the trees and severly tries to emasculate me again.lol
Cheers OG.
Hi hinter,
you are right but it is not always possible with the head direction but the feet are the next best thing so I have been told
Posted by: oldergent at April 2, 2008 8:01 PM
Pastor Eagle.
That enrepres is pretty, sassy and smart and a bit of a handful- and 47. You are smack, bang ;-} in her age range to.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at April 2, 2008 7:50 PM
hinterlandlover - sleeping position in feng shui is more involved than this. It depends on things like whether you are an East or West person, the position in the house of the bedroom and where the bed is in relation to the door/doors.
Posted by: woodnwine at April 2, 2008 7:49 PM
iaminperth@11.20pm: don't know much about feng shui, but I believe it's best to have your bed facing north/south, so that you're sleeping with your head facing north ... i know this is off topic, but perhaps more relevant in the loooong run. cheers
Posted by: hinterlandlover at April 2, 2008 6:38 PM
OG - hemming from bottom to top? I thought hems went around the bottom of the legs???
Posted by: woodnwine at April 2, 2008 6:12 PM
Just back from hemming up my new winter daks./ from the bottom to the top.
Marcus,@ 2.31.pm
true in every sense, flys stick in honey and happily buzz around the dead meat, loved the comment. Also I had a beauty in reply to your one on the emale Ej, it seems to me that the fair Karina got too excited to post it and exed it (no doubt to later include it in her memoirs as a blog mistress)
Enpres @2.34 pm
I dips me lid to a lady of wisdom and experience. spot on with the observations.
ME, that will cost you a stamp lol. ( the lol was to stir up virg again)
and now to you dear Virg, @ 2.38 pm goodness gracious me, I gave you three choices, now you come out roaring like a bull Ape. What happened to our truce? Like Darwin I have been watching the evolution of the species, why the regression I fully expected you to join us as the only sane ones. As to be full of it, only till about 7.30 am, regular as clockwork, the benifit of good living, I will leave you to judge those self serving snags, I think I am above that. Oh the "lol" bit years,back when I was studying Pitmans we often used these things to save time ( like it was a hundred and forty WPM to get to Hansard). Nice to see the youngsters catching up! Virg there are a lot of others older and younger on his site that I am taking lessons from. Pity you are not one of them. You have the same choice I have when I see the no show sniper having a go at me, Ignore it.
Marcus you are starting to be a gentleman, these later day Alpha Apes could be a worry.
Cheers Oc
Posted by: oldergent at April 2, 2008 5:49 PM
oldergent @ 1.43
"The rip roaring Alpha ape" "The self serving SNAG" "Then me"
If they are our only choice, what hope do we have?
The Alpha Ape-probably a good root and nothing else.
The SNAG-would probably talk us to distraction about how great a root he is and how he respects us blah blah
You-the normal root
:-))))
You-
Posted by: enrepres at April 2, 2008 2:34 PM
hmmm if you felt like doing it with your dad enerpres (25year age difference)
Posted by: virgil at April 2, 2008 5:21 PM
I did a search at lunchtime today and was amazed at the number of women who don't have more than about 20 words in their entire profile ..
. Posted by: woodnwine at April 2, 2008 1:57 PM
woody-there are many men's profiles who don't say much either. Gender equity here.
OG- what is 'normal' these days. The older I get the more I wonder what is normal in any age group.
Marcus- flies like to breed in a dead carcass but in honey they just get stuck.Was the rest of your comment in reply to something I wrote?
Posted by: blueeyes1955 at April 2, 2008 4:57 PM
Oh yes WnW totally agree with what you said about our prior relationships.
How can people "move on" with some of the stuff they still carry...
One example was a man l met for coffee once.
Referred to his ex wife in less than complimentary terms.
Now whether or not she was what he said, l did not need to hear it....Needless to say it was a meeting not repeated....
Granted when we are involved in a bad relationship breakdown the hurt is difficult to overcome....however.....
When we have negativity in our lives, how can we be ever look toward new realtionships???. God l sound like Carrie Bradshaw..........................K
Posted by: auntykaz at April 2, 2008 4:28 PM
Sorry, typo, my post should have read
�Ladies look at yourselves for the kind of men (you want) in your lives: You have the choice, so choose the men who (are) worthy of you."
Posted by: kianee at April 2, 2008 4:27 PM
kaz and kianee, yes you are both right, and also sensible, there is 2 sides to everything, and good and bad in both men and women.....
so, back to the question, so we stick on topic, would you get married again?
My answer is still, I honestly don't know!!.
But I do want people in my life who are genuine, caring and want to be with me and share our lives.
Question: in this day and often confusing age, will one person fulfil all our wants/needs/love, or do we need a range of people in our lives, so that we are/or can become, balanced, loved and sane people???
Have fun pondering...jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at April 2, 2008 4:24 PM
Kianee whenever have I said that men are the root of all evil, are you timewarp in disguise. I really feel sorry for men at the moment as I believe they are being treated very badly and most of my best friends are men because they are fun and easy going and like to sit around and eat and have a glass of wine and a good laugh. I simply said I believe them at heart to be rather simple creatures meaning simple needs who like food, sex and sleep. I mean cook a man a really nice meal with a couple of glasses of wine and most think they have died and gone to heaven. I can't sit around with a load of giggly women, talking crap and wondering whose boobs are going to shoot out of their tops first. I can, however, and do quite often have lunch or breakfast with one women who is articulate, successful with the most wicked dry sense of humour and she is fabulous and interesting.
Posted by: iaminperth at April 2, 2008 4:20 PM
"Whatever the reason, l think that our "relationship" problems are a scar on us that sometimes never completely heals.......................K"
Posted by: auntykaz at April 2, 2008 3:12 PM
I know some people have had it tough in the past but I urge people not to carry that over into new relationships if at all possible. I have no bitterness about my marriage ... nothing to get over (OK, except the diminished bank account), just a couple of lessons learnt and hopefully the wiser for it.
Posted by: woodnwine at April 2, 2008 3:43 PM
Oh dear me we have got caught up in some argumentative stuff today.....
I like to acknowledge that there are good and bad in both sexes, have seen both, and yes they can scrape the very bottom of the barrel.
I prefer to concentrate on the ones who enrich my life, male and female. They are worth so much time and effort.
I think the majority here would say that a trip down the aisle would not be on the agenda for them, is this a lack of faith after a broken relationship ??
Is it a lack of trust on their behalf maybe??
Whatever the reason, l think that our "relationship" problems are a scar on us that sometimes never completely heals.......................K
Posted by: auntykaz at April 2, 2008 3:12 PM
"Ladies look at yourselves for the kind of men in your lives: You have the choice. So choose the men who worthy of you, "
Posted by: kianee at April 2, 2008 2:13 PM
Very nicely said.
Posted by: woodnwine at April 2, 2008 3:01 PM
Men, whilst they can be lovely creatures are really very simple souls
Posted by: iaminperth at April 2, 2008 11:14 AM
How patronising
Posted by: virgil at April 2, 2008 2:43 PM
OG you are still full of it, whats this lol?
you, affecting the terminology of the younger generation to make yourself seem contemporary and therefore younger and "relevant".
Do you feel that all of those that are not of your warped sense of right and wrong, are self serving snags?
Arent you just wonderful, a legend in your own mind. You have a bloke of your own age here to take lessons from.
The sweetness and light of recent times is shown to be what it was, just an act. You dont advance your cause by denigrating others.
Those you describe as Alpha apes, have intelligence, their posts are witty and satirical, whereas yours are just bitter and twistred and mean.lol
Get real lol.
Posted by: virgil at April 2, 2008 2:35 PM
oldergent @ 1.43
"The rip roaring Alpha ape" "The self serving SNAG" "Then me"
If they are our only choice, what hope do we have?
The Alpha Ape-probably a good root and nothing else.
The SNAG-would probably talk us to distraction about how great a root he is and how he respects us blah blah
You-the normal root
:-))))
You-
Posted by: enrepres at April 2, 2008 2:34 PM
Blueeyes.
You catch more flies with a dead carcass than honey. Haha
FWB . When a woman has the power and the man is compliant andweak, you call it a marriage. From the man she has trapped, it is a sham with sex.
Cheers MS
Posted by: laughsandtalks at April 2, 2008 2:31 PM
Iaminperth
I am a woman too, and I very strongly disagree with your last post.
Men alone are not the root of all evil, …. Women have a little hand in that also……….. Men are people good, bad, or ugly.
just as women are people, good, bad or ugly.
Some Men may create some problems, other men fix some problems.
Women create a lot of problems too, and also fix problems
Women have children and men die in war.
Some men are heroic, some women are heroic. Some men are cowards, some women are cowards.
Personally some men have created bedlam in my life, and other men (compassionate, gentle and caring) have helped me up again. Ladies look at yourselves for the kind of men in your lives: You have the choice. So choose the men who worthy of you,
Posted by: kianee at April 2, 2008 2:13 PM
Slightly off topic but not much ... in line with what myself and others have said a bit earlier, I think the reason some people on RSVP may not be happy with the type of people they attract is because they don't bother saying much in their profiles. I did a search at lunchtime today and was amazed at the number of women who don't have more than about 20 words in their entire profile ... how am I to learn anything from that? So, inevitably, people just look at photos and are then surprised when they actually meet the person that they have nothing in common. Hello ...... you wouldn't advertise your house like this so why advertise yourself like this?
I strongly urge everyone to take 10 minutes and write a profile that clearly describes you, what you like doing, what your values are and what you would like from a relationship. Isn't it worth 10 minutes of your time ... or heaven forbid, maybe more?
Posted by: woodnwine at April 2, 2008 1:57 PM
Seems that we have 3 types of male on this site "The rip roaring Alpha ape" "The self serving SNAG" "Then me" the only one that seems normal. Take your pick gentlemen. lol.
Cheers OG
Posted by: oldergent at April 2, 2008 1:43 PM
iaminperth - OK, I'm going to disagree strongly with you on your last post. Can I suggest you try meeting a different type of man in the future? Maybe less alpha male and someone a bit more compassionate and interested in life, love, emotional issues etc. They (we) are out there ... trust me.
Posted by: woodnwine at April 2, 2008 12:04 PM
creativestuart - your sentiments are easily understood. I really do think some RSVPers should be on other sites that cater more for flings, casual sex etc.
Posted by: woodnwine at April 2, 2008 11:36 AM
What's the old saying "if you lay down with dogs you are bound to get fleas" - If you behave like a slut (male and female) you will be treated like a slut. Also this is said without being condescending or nasty or judgemental but I don't really think that men think about a lot more than their jobs, whether they're hungry or want sex. All this other female stuff gets heaped on them and they either agree to everything and then escape or argue. Men, whilst they can be lovely creatures are really very simple souls and have been cast into all this turmoil by some very aggressive females. Just look at a male if he gets a cold or a headache, oh boo hoo and women push a huge baby out of a very tender spot on their body after carrying junior around for 9 months and they say yay, I need a drink. Fascinating beings really and very amusing at times.
Posted by: iaminperth at April 2, 2008 11:14 AM
Yes, I agree too. I think a lot of younger girls fall in love with the thought of being married. They are happy with the concept of the guy working eight hours a day but feel resentful if they are expected to do the same, whether stay at home or out in the workplace. If the woman then has children 'to complete the picture' which is already flawed, that brings with it more work and more arguments but still are we adding up to the correct balance 8 hours for 8hours. I don't believe it is just going to happy without someone keeping a score and in doing that it is going to cause problems. I have raised children and worked full time and yes, the house did come last at times, but we bumbled thru and all survived, without children it does not take 8 hours a day to look after a house and maybe cook a meal or anywhere near to it and yet a lot of women seem to want to gain all the rewards for half the commitment. Not to say this doesn't happen in reverse but I believe there is always two sides to every story, however, when there is violence from either side in a relationship this is time for serious professional help and if necessary call it quits.
Posted by: iaminperth at April 2, 2008 11:06 AM
troyohboy - without being rude to anyone, I think a lot of the time we (myself included) get what we deserve. If we all really think about it ... why did we attract the type of person we did? And why do some people continue to attract the same type of person over and over again even after being hurt?
I have tried to learn from past mistakes as I am sure many have but how often do you hear people saying things like "why do I get all the dickheads?" or "do I have a target painted on my forehead?" ... well, think about it.
Posted by: woodnwine at April 2, 2008 10:48 AM
I don't know why RSVP bothers with these blogs, It would actually be interesting to discuss the topics but they just seem to get lost in everything but the topic.
With the trivial way so many seem to treat rellationships it is no wonder there are so many single and indeed hurt other people. No wonder those of us who are indeed genuine are finding it difficult!
As for FWB how crass is that arrangement! Sex is about celebrating love, not an amusement park ride!
Being in a relationship is about sharing, not selfishness and it is obvious there are far to many selfish people and thus they are single.
When you are willing to share and build something together and actually know what commitment and caring are about, then you might be ready for marriage.
Posted by: creativestuart at April 2, 2008 10:32 AM
Virgil, the treat 'em mean etc is not my view of how a healthy relationship should work but something I have noticed in many other peoples relationships over the years. This is most especially evident amongst younger women, I think and it becomes a part of the cycle ending in divorce. What I mean is that, often, a young woman, and I'm talking late teens into twenties, defines herself by her relationship as a blokes girlfriend/fiance/wife. The bloke is used to calling the shots, being in control as this is what the woman encourages. As they grow older the woman matures and, more and more, wants to control her own destiny and to grow. This is all very right and proper. She starts to feel repressed and controlled by the bloke, he doesn't know what she's talking about, it's always been this way. Woman says "that's it I'm out of here you control freak, I want to be me". Bloke thinks "where did that come from"? I have attempted to keep this as short as possible as really long blogs lose me so forgive me if I haven't delved into all the psychology. I'll leave that to you and Boyd. My question is; If the bloke is behaving as he always has, and the woman used to like it this way, who is more at fault when the relationship fails?
Posted by: troyohboy at April 2, 2008 9:57 AM
Well said Oohlala, totally agree. Very condescending at times.
Posted by: iaminperth at April 2, 2008 9:13 AM
Virgil this is a blog, not a retirement home, nobody let's things go. It was an opinion of his writing nothing else. TW has a habit of not replying to blog topics but judging the writer of the blog whether he deems them to be nice or not and can be veriy scathing and incorrect in his comments as to what he thinks of them personally. I believe, his story was very self serving and I believe his comments after when he spat the dummy are also self serving and designed to draw attention to himself.
Posted by: iaminperth at April 1, 2008 11:27 PM
I agree with iaminpert. I have not been here for very long but am reading the blogs three months or more. This man reminds me of all the older men in my culture who think they rule the women and when they cant they are scathing and petulant in reply. Makes me shudder as it is not good for the esteem of the woman. It is why society is still not giving women their proper place. Action of those who keep glass ceiling wherer it is. This man writes like he is ruler of the blogs or the sandpit. I hate that word and when I see it I want to run to the playground and find new open minded friends to play with who will not judge me.
Saintly Virgil even used words like- I think TW might feel that a relative newcomer and female, might have said your piece in a more considered and less hurtfull manner.
Posted by: virgil at April 1, 2008 8:53 AM
And female- what does this mean?
This is public blog and not the old mens club. Because you all defer to these old gentlemen you get the boring blog.
Posted by: oohlala1 at April 2, 2008 8:40 AM
One thing that has amazed me from meeting and chatting to women on RSVP (and I'm sure they are a fairly typical slice of society) is how many have survived marriages that involved violence, mental abuse, infedelity and being treated with complete disdain by their husbands. Firstly, I am amazed that there are so many complete cretons out there that would treat women like this and secondly I am worried whether these women can truly trust someone else and really form a lasting relationship again.
Personally, I think this is why the other topic is running hot ... because some of these women see a FWB as much easier than risking their emotions again after previous experiences. So where does that leave us men that are genuinely looking for a long term relationship? I really see that as a problem and this is possibly why so much aggression sometimes comes out in the blogs.
It's almost like some of us have to carry references including statements that we have never been charged with stalking, have never been issued with a DVO, have managed to remain faithful to a partner, have endured a bad relationship without resorting to violence or mental abuse. Maybe forget the sexual health checks and concentrate on the mental health checks?
Posted by: woodnwine at April 2, 2008 8:19 AM
But you were wrong about HerinPerth. Whenever I've commented on anything she's written (usually positively, if anyone could be bothered counting), she's immediately claimed "I neversaidit! No I never!" So I've given up on her. Not worth the effort. Simple as that, Kaz and others.................Here we go again, very rude, very untrue but whatever, can't be bothered all too boring.
Posted by: iaminperth at April 2, 2008 7:52 AM
Hi all. Tennis was so good tonight - 8 on 2 courts, so no time wasted sitting around waiting for your next turn. All go.
Sunrize @ 7.23pm: Thank you for adding your support to my right to embarrass our most-patient readers with a more-detailed review than you usually get of what I'd done that hadn't worked for me.
And you're right. A lot of comment has erupted as a result.
But what interested me was how true to themselves the commentators were, from Virgil's ever-decent calls for tolerance and freedom of speech, to invisible lurker JustSlagging's usual attitude to everyone but himself.
Cousin Kaz @ 9.48pm and last night: Looks like you were right. The lesson for other gentle men has been lost in the crossfire.
But you were wrong about HerinPerth. Whenever I've commented on anything she's written (usually positively, if anyone could be bothered counting), she's immediately claimed "I neversaidit! No I never!" So I've given up on her. Not worth the effort. Simple as that, Kaz and others.
Troyohboy @ 9.30am: The older version of "treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen" is
"A dog, a woman and a walnut tree -
the more ye beat 'em, the better they be."
Both strike me as a bit too much of a good thing. From my own experience, I'd go only as far as saying
A strong woman deserves an assertive man who'll stand up to her - her match, not a doormat.
Bedtime, dears.
Posted by: timewarp1 at April 2, 2008 12:25 AM
Virgil this is a blog, not a retirement home, nobody let's things go. It was an opinion of his writing nothing else. TW has a habit of not replying to blog topics but judging the writer of the blog whether he deems them to be nice or not and can be veriy scathing and incorrect in his comments as to what he thinks of them personally. I believe, his story was very self serving and I believe his comments after when he spat the dummy are also self serving and designed to draw attention to himself.
Posted by: iaminperth at April 1, 2008 11:27 PM
Well now that this blog has descended into complete nothingness, can anyone tell me which way you should sleep. In Feng Sui is it with your feet towards the window, or head, or whatever. I like my window open at night, winter and summer but am thinking of moving the furniture around. I like the fresh air and also have some beautiful plants outside.
Posted by: iaminperth at April 1, 2008 11:20 PM
Just saying, if I thought something was a piece of crap, I am not backward in saying it.
I also have the courage to display my profile, unlike yourself. I stand up for what I believe in.
I felt then, as I do now the most self serving crap is delivered by politicians, and I mentioned The Courts, Richard & his Dad, Graham Kierath and Brian Burke.
I would like to be healthy and vital, playing tennis at 72, and if I told my story, would like to think that it could be left, and those who didnt like it be polite enough to just let it go.
Posted by: virgil at April 1, 2008 10:29 PM
Virgil, it is not unusual for women who have been treated poorly by a partner to end up in the same situation in following relationships. I know of women who seen to pick the same types each time.Personally ,as the mean treatment started, that's when I ended my marriage.I grew up with a rather mean and disciplinarian type father and have no desire to revisit this in any situation.
"You catch more flies with honey then vinegar"
Posted by: blueeyes1955 at April 1, 2008 10:08 PM
Maybe Timewarp just can't be bothered with someone whom he thinks has insulted him Justsaying.
Which of course he is free to do as all are.
Not everyone likes to read Timewarp's writings, as some have expressed, if so just don't read it is my thinking.....I don't myself at times (no offence TW), but hey is it really worth the shit ???............K
Posted by: auntykaz at April 1, 2008 9:48 PM
Umm... re the blog "Are you ready for married life" - I guess from all the bickering in here, the answer is no ;)
Posted by: riversong1 at April 1, 2008 9:40 PM
Blueeyes.....Yes, very interesting to know him, he given me his mobile and landline to ring him but I didn't call him. I'm thankful to the dentist spent stamp on me and wasted for some kind of egos and misunderstanding and to others previous too....I don't push hard of my fate. I still believed my belief..
Meet him, nothing wrong about that...who knows this is your destiny.
The ABC to Z zoo....yes I have quite contacts before, I cannot remember All their names, I deleted my profile 5 times, so lost causes of all my contacts...As of ABC, I can help you but you should give me more clues.
I would like to make an" Announcement " few friends asking some question......Please have Peace of Mind. ....I am NOT in contact to anybody...the 2 remaining guys are not bloggers and they don't know I'm blogging. Including few of my old Contacts.... You are ALL my Blog-Friends & Friends Without Benefits....I don't have any idea what's going on here...I just love responding everyone in fairness. Please Trust Me....God Bless ALL. ( sorry for off-topics )
Posted by: aliane at April 1, 2008 9:38 PM
Timewarp that is so sad and also the most self serving piece of crap I have ever read in my life.
Posted by: iaminperth at March 31, 2008 9:35 PM.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
A shame some of the Virgin-like male bloggers on here or the geriatric Old Boys club, haven't got the same courage.
Dinosaur 1 just spat the dummy and all kid-like (second or third childhood state,) said he wasn't going to talk to iaminperth anymore.
Probably, he's going down to the end of the garden to eat worms.
Maybe that's what accounts for one of his lacks?
Posted by: justsaying at April 1, 2008 8:31 PM
In relation to TW and his 'unusual' marriage it once again proves that with many women one has to 'treat 'em mean to keep 'em keen'
Posted by: troyohboy at April 1, 2008 9:30 AM
Troy, I dont agree with the idea of treating women mean, I believe in treating people with respect, men or women.
I dont know if that saying is true for you.
I would wonder if other bloggers feel that theory is a way they would like their relationships to work?
Posted by: virgil at April 1, 2008 8:15 PM
Just a line, troyboy, just a line l felt like writing as it came into my head.
You get that...............K
Posted by: auntykaz at April 1, 2008 7:56 PM
I agree Kas, no one is better than anyone else. What that has to do with who responds? Lost me there sorry.
Posted by: troyohboy at April 1, 2008 7:33 PM
timewarp1 your earlier post seems to have caused some commotion. I thank you for sharing that with us. I commend you on your bravery. There are lots of things we could all share, however until we feel comfortable enough that probably won't happen. Keep your chin up, positive thinking works - so I've been told. Perhaps one day I'll share a lot of information about my youngest son and the many operations he has had to face at such a young age - perhaps not - but you never know.
Deborah.
Posted by: sunrizesiesta at April 1, 2008 7:23 PM
YouareinPerth @ 3.54pm. We disagree again, and from now on I won't respond to what you post - not even to thank you when you delight me.
Virgil and Kaz: You are both right. Thanks. Must have a feed and then zoom off to tennis. Seeyezall.
Posted by: timewarp1 at April 1, 2008 5:40 PM
Iaminperth, you, of course, hav every right to express your thoughts here as does everyone else....Timewarp included.
As l said earlier, l believe it wise to not put too much of ourselves out there, particularly personal stuff, and this is what Timewarp does. Not a criticism of him by any means just maybe an explaination of his lengthy posts.
As for there being a blog hierarchy (?), was that Troyohboy who said that???
Anyone who posts is welcome to Troy, no one is "better" than anyone else whatsoever in my humble opinion.
If my posts do not receive a response, big deal, couldn't really care less actually, if they do fine, whatever.
Arguing a point sometimes is a waste of time, energy and space, other times it is very worthy.
Our differing opinions and thoughts are pretty cool l think....................K
Posted by: auntykaz at April 1, 2008 4:51 PM
FWB is often a monogamous situation, where neither of the particpants are having sex with other partners, often long term, just that for one reason or another, the participants dont feel they want to call it a relationship.
In many cases, the thing is FWB rather than full on relationship because one partner chooses to call it that, and to all intents and purposes, it is a normal relationship.
Posted by: virgil at April 1, 2008 4:43 PM
Aliane, have no intention of meeting him- have only read the profile. Not sure whether his profile suggests that he wants to double his wardrobe or that its a chance for us girls to do the same . But a profile from a guy that writes 'he like to dress in girls' clothing" would I think send most girls running for the hills.It just amazes me what poeple write about themselves.
As to your comment ABc to z there is another profile that has lots of that in it, he did email me and repeatedly referred to this site as the A to Z zoo. Does that ring a bell too?
Posted by: blueeyes1955 at April 1, 2008 4:35 PM
Virgil, Bet I get much more loyalty, sincerity, truth and honesty with my FWB and very helpful as well. I don't think that screwing around has ever been a very attractive component of anyones lives and has caused heaps of problems and will continue to do so.
Posted by: iaminperth at April 1, 2008 4:00 PM
I believe that TW's blog is very self serving, and I have every right to say so if I wish. I wasn't under the impression that NannyVirgil was the moderator here and I stand by my comments and my right to voice them. Also TW's constant comments attributed to me in previous blogs show he is either being a trouble maker or a little off centre as most of the things he has said that I have posted I simply did not. This is a blog and unless the moderator says No, we are entitled to our opinion.
Posted by: iaminperth at April 1, 2008 3:54 PM
Time of Timewarp post 11.32am, Current Adelaide time 3.50pm, Melbourne time 4.20pm.
TW I thought Perth's comments were a bit over the top, ahh but you get that from someone who thinks FWB is looking after your dog when you go on holidays.
Posted by: virgil at April 1, 2008 3:23 PM
Amber @ 10.17am: Not post-nataal depression. Six months earlier. The change was instantaneous, the day her pregnancy was confirmed. Nothing else would ever distract her and risk getting her off her plotted life course.
At 66 she's still teaching, got her Masters 2 years ago, and now working on her PhD by correspondence.
As to our mutual friend J (since a famous Australian poet, and our house-guest on that fatal weekend - she was on the Warana talent lineup too), I believe the advice was given in good faith. She'd hoped to spare Joan from an unsatisfying marriage to a wimp, and me from one to a ball-breaker. Good on her.
Posted by: timewarp1 at April 1, 2008 11:32 AM
YouareinPerth @ 9.35pm: I'm sorry that what you read was different from what I thought I wrote at 7.47pm.
My slant was to show how counter-productive my behaviour had been. I hoped to warn other men about how NOT to treat a strong-willed determined selfish alpha female.
And the string of self-describing adjectives that probably got furthest up your nose had been used to condemn me, not to glorify me. What worthwhile woman wants a wimp?
PS: I was interested to see how easily you snapped back into your earlier habitual critical-parent mode, after giving your delightful uncontaminated child a welcomed outing in the previous blog.
BlueEyes @ 8.22pm: Thank you. There was a heap of good in our marriage which I still value, and I was as happy as I deserved to be for the first 20 years. Her best wasn't just loveable - it was adorable. It just got a lot harder when that side of her disappeared completely.
I've toughened up a lot in my last 15 years as a recycled single - now ready and willing to make a whole set of completely different mistakes, next time around.
Virgil @ 8.53am: this is a one-class railway, mate, not a seniority-focussed public service. HerInPerth has every right to show her true colours from post number one. Like everyone else. That's what the blogs are for.
Marcus @ 7.47am: Thanks mate. Someone said that after 50 you should never see yourself or your partner nude - far too scary.
I had felt safe enough to let just a tiny bit of it all hang out in this particular blog, because others had, and for once, had not been seriously savaged. And that's civilised peer behaviour. Goodonyezall. Back to work now. Seeyez.
Posted by: timewarp1 at April 1, 2008 11:14 AM
Troy
I think it has to do with respect.
TW has been here much longer than me, and as such is worthy of having what he has to say, at least respected and not attacked, particularly in such a hard way.
Occasionally new bloggers come on and say really dumb stuff, but they are not criticised, but congratulated for coming on, and having their say.
I believe TW is due respect on that basis.
Besides how can what TW said compare with the self serving rantings of The Courts, Charlie & Richard, or maybe Graham Kierath, or Brian Burke?
Posted by: virgil at April 1, 2008 10:20 AM
Re: Timewarp's marriage
I thought Joan's friend wasn't exactly speaking from a "friend's" perspective; with friends like that you don't need enemies!!
Joan must have had her own reasons for becoming "a totally-withdrawn teetotal control freak, focussed on her teaching" after the birth of her 3rd child.
I know it wasn't something that was ever considered back then, but Post Natal Depression may well have been a factor in her withdrawal, and when no one understood, she withdrew even more.
Posted by: amberlight58 at April 1, 2008 10:17 AM
Go Boy.
Virgil is the unnoficial blog Pastor Troy.
He is a kind hearted, empathetic bloke who might have a sense that Warped is doing a few hard yards at the moment and clearing out the shed.
Cheers Marcus
Posted by: laughsandtalks at April 1, 2008 9:57 AM
Virgil, what has perth's time blogging got to do with her right to express her view. She has as much right as a very old blogger such as yourself to say whatever. It is easy to detect the heirarchy amongst the regular bloggers however that does not exist for we newer contributors. Thank goodness.
In relation to TW and his 'unusual' marriage it once again proves that with many women one has to 'treat 'em mean to keep 'em keen'
Posted by: troyohboy at April 1, 2008 9:30 AM
Timewarp that is so sad and also the most self serving piece I have ever read in my life.
P
For our non-understanding, non-comprehending "Pauline", "Are You Ready for Married Life" timewarp1 at April 6, 2008 11:09 PM,
>"Congratulations on posting your research findings on every available channel.... As Pauline Chips used to say: Please explain!"
Posted by: justsaying at April 6, 2008 9:06 PM
>"A pity some are so one-eyed.
Guess that's why they have some trouble reading and counting -all that emotional clouding of judgement."
Posted by: justsaying at April 7, 2008 11:38 AM