RSVP Blog

What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day my beloved and I went into town and went into a shop.

We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and said, 'Come on man, how about giving us senior citizens a break?'

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd.

He glared at me and began writing another ticket for having worn tyres.

So my beloved called him a shit head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.

Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, we didn't care. We'd come into town by bus.

Posted by: neuroticfish at February 27, 2008 9:11 AM

kenny @ 4.18am

Thanks for that - didn't know. Often forget that most people aren't as prescriptive as I am. Most not in such a hurry, I guess.

Time I hurried up. Tennis rained out tonight, so going to play doubles wrinklie ping pong with my book-keeper/mateinstead, starting in exactly 6 hours time, and need to do a bit of work just before I leave for that. Seeyez.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 27, 2008 5:02 AM

Not every body uses the full search Bill.
If you do a browse it lists all profiles within a 10km radius of the specified profile.The oldest age grouping is 48+.

Posted by: abckenny at February 27, 2008 4:18 AM

abcKenny @ 2.10am:

Thanks for the suggestion, but I have 2 problems with it:

1) Everyone programmes the search engine to look for the age and location ranges that they want. My problem is that my target market wants 50-65, so when they search, the engine doesn't show them anyone who's 66, let alone 72.

2) If I say 99, only the tiny percentage who can't or don't set a top limit will be shown me. Not even the ones who set at up to 75 - they see me now, but would'nt if I said I was 76, let alone 99. How could it work for you?

3) Did you see my most recent post "To pork or not...?

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 27, 2008 2:54 AM

What I am saying is that I always enjoy my dates and usually have dinner with them but somewhere during the conversation I lose interest and that usually is the kiss of death ..
you wrote, istj54...have you thought of having meetings or dates that involve walking and talking? Like strolling round the Botanic Gardens...I was fed up with coffee meetings and read it somewhere, why not take a nice stroll somewhere? A few drinks..a big walk and look at the ducks and what not..coffee, going to look at the lotus pond..looking at the fish..going into the hothouse to look at the Madacasgar plants and having a laugh. You know.."Oh what is that plant?" and reading the sign.

Reckon coffee and a walk somewhere helps as one of you or both will be nervous and it gives you something to talk about. Also what about going round an art gallery together. If you went to regular Latin Dance classes, you would have a blast...its so much fun. Note to self..go dancing more. Any kind of dancing really. Its what they used to do years ago, isnt it...dances were how generations of people met. Find a good Latin Dance school..even if you do not meet someone who interests you, still you will have fun. Are you too cerebral? It is really important to me that a man have something between his ears, and humour. Perhaps I must join a scrabble club..........Gnite all.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 27, 2008 2:33 AM

Do l need a man to provide for me??? Not at all.
Do l need a man in my life??? Well it would be nice.
Do l want a man in my life?? The eternal question that one........................K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 26, 2008 7:44 PM

No
I dont know
Yes

Last week I had to go get some plumbing thing from the plumbing supplies shop.....boo hoo...don't mind hardware shops but plumbing is horrible. Anyway I rang, described it, there was one left, they held it for me, got it...got instructions, did it......fixed it. it was OK actually in the end but am not comfortable with plumbing repairs at home due to lack of knowledge. It felt good to repair something myself. Do not need a man for that sort of thing, the kids and I are fine. For a lot of us, these are our best years in a lot of ways and should we be spending them alone? Hopefully if we be the change we want to be in the world and work on improving ourselves and maybe willing to step outside of our comfort zones?? Like maybe I should join the darn uni snorkelling/diving club and go exploring underwater with a group of students I do not know. It could be fun. All the nights out with uni friends and the different groups.You would think 5 years at uni and I could have met one person....?

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 27, 2008 2:16 AM

Bill I have a suggestion for you.This is something that I have done previously and you may be surprised how well it works.Instead of lowering your age try raising it to say 99 or 100 years old.To most people on here age is irrelevant as is most of what you write in your profile.If they like the look of you and you sound like a decent and honest person they will contact you or invite you to contact them

Posted by: abckenny at February 27, 2008 2:10 AM

Robert, you are a naughty boy. You patted the nail tight on the head, but got the numbers wrong at 11.12pm. The sprightly ladies are worried that the blokes will be down to 2 fingers by 54 or 64, not 84.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 27, 2008 12:49 AM

To pork or not to pork, part Two:

Thank you all for your replies to my first question only. But at 10.01pm I asked 2 questions, which I thought would need to be considered and answered together.

I wouldn't dream of trolling a decoy profile showing a false age only. That would be a big fat porkie, at the wrong end of the wooing ...

And I certainly wouldn't take off 10 years. I was thinking 8, to give me 18 months in the under-65 sandpit.

And I'd have a para at the bottom of my profile's fine print saying something like:

"There are different ways to measure physical fitness, and that goes for age too. The age above is what my 2 tennis clubs think I am, and it's what most strangers guess. My birth certificate claims I'm 8 years older, but don't take any notice - it's only jealous because I'm younger than it is."

Now friends, what do you say?

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 27, 2008 12:41 AM

Jenjen,
with all due respects could I suggest that you move your number 3 photo up to your primary photo, much more you.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at February 26, 2008 11:43 PM

Amber.
crap, the only people upset with you would be those upset with the rest of us, you know what we would think of them anyway.

Posted by: oldergent at February 26, 2008 11:32 PM

Amber.
crap, the only people upset with you would be those upset with the rest of us, you know what we would think of them anyway.

Posted by: oldergent at February 26, 2008 11:31 PM

Now I've upset and alienated you all, I must hit the hay. Work/school routine in the morning
Night Everyone

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 26, 2008 11:17 PM

amberlight,
put your profile up to 70 and sit back and wait for the line to form honey, lol
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at February 26, 2008 11:17 PM

Truly, age is not a state of the body it is a state of the mind, look at the leaders of nations, arts. etc (I love etc, it covers so many words you cannot spell) I have know old people at 14 and young people at 84, as one of them said to me he got stronger with age, at 14 he could not bend his best friend with both hands, at 84 he could bend him with two fingers.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at February 26, 2008 11:12 PM

Even Timewarp thinks that women his age are too old for him!!

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 26, 2008 11:08 PM

Sorry JenJen,
I'm not justifying myself and I certainly wouldn't lie about my age now, but hell, when I'm over 70 is anyone going to be looking for an old crone of my age? And if they did want me (most unlikely, you know how hard it is for women of 40+ now), would they really care how old I was?

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 26, 2008 11:03 PM

To thine own self be true Timewarp......You don't want to tell a fib and get caught out............K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 26, 2008 10:55 PM

You too amberlight ?? It doesnt matter if you look your chronological age or whatever, a lie is a lie is a PORKIE ! This has been discussed ad nauseum on the blogs in the past.......you start with one little seemingly harmless little fib but it is dishonest..........best we all start with our honest feet forward about whatever.......

Posted by: jenjen57 at February 26, 2008 10:53 PM

hows that for double standards?

Timewarp i reckon you will get consensus to lower your age, hope no one can remember my posts of a few weeks back :(

Posted by: virgil at February 26, 2008 10:50 PM

My grandmother was actually 10 years older than her stated age and no one found out until after she died. She always looked younger than her stated age and no one could believe it. If my grandfather knew he kept her secret well. She was actually 14 years older than him not the 4 years everyone thought she was. My mother was born when she was 50 (although everyone thought she was 40) and my mother was 38 when she died. I don't believe in lying about one's age (or anything else) but honestly Timewarp, what harm would it do really? You are looking for a companion and lover, not a nurse (I gather you're not keen on marrying again?) so who would you be hurting?

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 26, 2008 10:44 PM

JenJen,
My paternal grandmother of ( 5 husbands) middle age had no such doubts, happily sent 4 to their graves thanking their lucky stars.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at February 26, 2008 10:42 PM

what does everyone else think?

When a blokes body age is way out of synch with his chronological age, it seems unfair he be lumbered along with some very unfit and out of condition men of his chronological age.

Posted by: virgil at February 26, 2008 10:41 PM

Encouraging porkies virgil ??

Posted by: jenjen57 at February 26, 2008 10:35 PM

Virg,
I am Bills age, things he talks about cannot be know in detail by younger people, believe, I do not know if he does all these things personally but I have compatriots that do, I am not into this, I have no wish to drop dead in public and have some dirty old man give me the kiss of life, or worse still some beautiful young lady. lol
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at February 26, 2008 10:34 PM

Time warp you are 72, and much fitter than I am, and I am 56.

There is no way I could do half the stuff you do, so you are better than a bloke 16 years younger.

Lots of women say its a womans privilege, maybe a bloke whose body age is probably 20 years younger than his biological age can get away with a porkie of 10 years.

Posted by: virgil at February 26, 2008 10:26 PM

True OG........seems from discussions here on the blog and with my friends elsewhere, that most women are not keen to get hooked up with a bloke too much older because of concerns about the sustainability of a physical relationship and being left either alone (widowed) or looking after an invalid. But at the end of the day "true love" is blind and all practicalities probably fly out the proverbial window !!

Posted by: jenjen57 at February 26, 2008 10:24 PM

I dont agree with people falsifying their age timewarp, but in your case I make an exception.

What do you ladies on here think? Would it be OK for timewarp to tell a little porkie about his age.

Posted by: virgil at February 26, 2008 10:22 PM

JenJen,
I am so bloody well aware of the power of one, what I was trying to get across that if you have a look at the profiles in study, men have a much wider range of options than most women, age in particular,us men when in off line discussions we seem to be in accord, women are very concerned about the sustainability of the physical side and the need not to be tied to an eventual invalied My ideal of a companion is one that owns her own life, that has no need to be dependent on any man, that can live apart but together, that when she or he feels the human need, is comfortable in expressing it. That will fit in with the social and cultural requirements of their companion, At all times be respectful of the other, be there in time of need and distress, comfort and succor, and do those little things that their companion cannot do around the house. But then I am a wishfull Dinosaur, and have probably lived to long alone. But more importantly be able to say when the time comes, "love go find another life, mine is done"
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at February 26, 2008 10:05 PM

Virgil @ 11.35am: Thank you for the compliments about my weekly exercise programme. It boils down to Play, not Watch. I didn't add that I pay $10 a week for gym, but go too rarely to be worth a mention.

No Virgil - women in their mid-50s are a bit too young for me, Might be my match in zoom and pizazz, but the ones I've dated (under a dozen) are from the generation after me.

One of my best mates is 53, but if I thought of her romantically, I'd think - No.Still a bit young.

My problem is that the fairly lively women aged 58-63 who when I meet them ARE my decrepitude age, are asking for men 50-65, and certainly not searching for any men over 65. (Everyone knows they're past working, walking and even wanking.)

And men over 70 are not just over the hill - they're over 2 hills - Hill 65 and Hill 70.

Maybe I should try trolling a 1943-model decoy. What do you think of that?

And if I did, should I admit the truth at the end of the fine print on the decoy?

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 26, 2008 10:01 PM

Kaz,
just think you may not be to far away from the Wizard of Oz anyway.
LOL LOL

Posted by: oldergent at February 26, 2008 9:42 PM

Oops Padstow shop, Sydney AK

Posted by: blueeyes1955 at February 26, 2008 9:37 PM

Ak, yes I do the dancing. Ceroc. I buy my shoes at a local padstoe shop where the prices are good and they make their own shoes.

Posted by: blueeyes1955 at February 26, 2008 9:36 PM

Hi all. Withdrawal symptoms, so calling in for just a moment.

WnW @ 8.58am defined the situation beautifully, and Kenny @ 3.22pm defined the problem equally elegantly.

My problem is very rarely that one of us bores the other. I pick my kissees to avoid that, and so do they. Nearly always we find one another interesting, but there is no spark. I've made some wonderful friends in that category. I was so down last weekend that I forgot the 71st birthday party of one such that I'd first met in 1995.

The problem arises when there is both interest and chemistry.

We meet for a meal and hit it off. We hang on one another's words, and mirror stances without noticing. Our eyes lock, and our heads move gradually closer and closer. We touch forearms to reinforce points or to empathise.

Two, three,usually 4 hours pass, and it seems like ten minutes. Our hearts are in calm communal bliss. As we stand up to leave the table, she steps forward and kisses me before I can start to move towards the door.

But she lives at least 75 minutes drive away. Neither of us is in a position to move house, and neither has a big enough home to fit in the other, 24/7/52.

And neither of us has both the time and the petrol money to commute 3 or 4 times a week to sleep over.

Geographically Impossible. With great disappointment, keep looking.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 26, 2008 9:31 PM

Blueeyes, l am going to be totally on topic....save money online....
Is it you that goes dancing?? I do latin and ballroom and a few of us get together and do a bulk order now and then.
I buy my dancing shoes from a site in the US called danceshoesonline and the prices are fab.

The last pair l bought were a pair of patent red leather t bar latin shoes with a 3 inch heel......Cost me $Aus 76.00 Had l bought them here they would have been over $A150.00.. and l have paid that for a good quality pair here.. They just don't have the range in Australia.
They make me feel like Dorothy when l wear them....
Gosh, totally on topic for once for me.....
And l knew that one day l would be able to go on about shoes, ooohhhhhh a girl's favorite thing....Well this ones anyway..

..Are we still in Kansas, Toto????........K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 26, 2008 9:26 PM

OG............"what is best for you.......men have the pill that will"........do hope you are not suggesting all we need is a good ****...........any of us girls can get THAT anytime........our frustration is that we want that and a whole lot more, more than the men we meet have to offer.

Posted by: jenjen57 at February 26, 2008 9:19 PM

You guys are all on the right blog topic tonight. We are all saving money here since we aren't out dating.Me included tonight.Methinks we should start spending instead of saving for 'whatever".

Posted by: blueeyes1955 at February 26, 2008 9:09 PM

istj54,
As far as I am concerned it is just modern scientific mumbo jumbo (gasp). I like the look of you, the way you handle yourself, that is all any man that is serious about a woman needs to know, and for once I am sorry about the age difference. (Actually no, I have heard on this site that age is just a number) Maybe as I said in my profile, age beauty and style are not that important and that may be what is missing on this site. It is the ability to look beyond what you want, to what is best for you. Years ago you women had the pill that wont, nowadays older men have the pill that will
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at February 26, 2008 9:02 PM

A good bonk jewels ?? Is that the solution ?? Volunteers ?? hehehe........

Posted by: jenjen57 at February 26, 2008 9:02 PM

solution to feeling restless...a good bonk....( no I have sworn off toyboys).......but seriously, I do not want perfect, I just want the "one that is meant for me" the one who will connect with my mind, give me butterflies in my stomach and will make my heart sing!!! (of course it has to be mutual)

And I think that is why we are all here on the dating site, not looking for perfection, but looking for the one meant for each one of us!

Have a lovely evening all...jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at February 26, 2008 9:00 PM

Yes I know now I can get along fine on my own and I am not unhappy but I am not content. I know it is hard work but I want the icing AND the cake !! I dont understand why I cant have the relationship and independence. Is this a mutually exclusive oxymoron ?? I want male company and ALL the trimmings (greedy thats me !!)............

Posted by: jenjen57 at February 26, 2008 9:00 PM

Hey JL l l find the analogy of the icing and not the whole cake quite interesting......kind of like the entree and dessert but not the main meal l guess.

I value my independence very much these days but would also say that l know what l want in a man, but am l prepared to accept what l want?????? Much like yourself, a bit of a puzzle isn't it???...
The men are being very quiet tonight.............K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 26, 2008 8:59 PM

I sometimes think that we place pressure on ourselves to conform to what was generally the norm, ie...be married, engaged, have a partner, family etc...but are more than happy and contented "most" of the time without. we can get along fine on our own.
As we have got older we know that being with someone can be hard work and maybe we just want the icing now and not the whole cake. I think some men might just want the same and get scared when a full-on relationship is on the menu. These feelings cause the confusion that I know I feel anyway. We love our independence:) we are proud of it and don't want to lose it, but we also want male company with all the trimmings. Impossible ask...who knows...maybe Marcus?
My dad went steady for thirty-three years with a woman he never lived with. It ended when she died a few years ago...very sad...but it would never have lasted if they'd lived together...food for thought.

Posted by: istj54 at February 26, 2008 8:49 PM

JLm and auntykaz..........do I need a man to provide for me, no......do I want a man, hell yes............do I know why, no............I just do. Why do they have to be so complicated, confused, not ready (so why are they here??????)........I realised a long time ago I could manage on my own despite being told for years I was useless and hopeless but since I turfed him out I earn more money and the kids and I are happier but I feel so restless !!!!!!!!!
Solution ??

Posted by: jenjen57 at February 26, 2008 8:25 PM

Istj

I never mentioned camping, knowing how you abhor the little bitties that would nip at your exposed parts (and for that matter your unexposed parts- sad isn’t it what men do on camping trips once they have a woman up close and personal)- and why do they call them 2 man tents when they are more effective and efficient if one half of the double is a femme.

The only chemistry you ever need on a camping trip is a good insect repellent; try it. You’ll never look back.

Posted by: neuroticfish at February 26, 2008 8:16 PM

OG.
May a suggest you do a Google search for Myers-Briggs personality types.
That will answer your question about istj54.
Cheers McGongle

Posted by: laughsandtalks at February 26, 2008 7:48 PM

Welcome back Neurofishtic...do you think I should be taking this all more seriously and be up to FD378 by now?
I'm doing it because I am in search of the ellusive chemistry which is becoming more like a paranormal experience by the day...as you say non-existent, looking for a man who asks me to go camping and biking and for me to actually want to go...well not bike riding...never could get the hang of that one...but camping, that would take chemistry...got any GHB over from your last trip?

Oldergent...istj is a Myer-Briggs personality type...I am borderline in some areas depending what I am doing, eg...with small children I am much more feeling:)
Marcus has debunked MB too, so you needn't look it up now. It was apparently just nonsense.

Posted by: istj54 at February 26, 2008 7:46 PM

JL,, why is it that we want to have someone in our life but when they are there we wonder if we really want it??

Is that what you are pondering of yourself JL??

I think it may be more common than we realise, particularly when we, as women who may have been married for a longtime, find ourselves single and discover that hey, we can manage on many levels quite fine.

I was often told that l would never manage on my own - read without a male to support me even though l have always worked - but over 2 years later am managing very well and will continue to do so.

Financially l think that women may be scared to be on their own, l myself was in that mindset for a long time, but found it not to be correct. Is it a leftover from the days of the husband always being the provider???
No doubt about it.

Do l need a man to provide for me??? Not at all.
Do l need a man in my life??? Well it would be nice.
Do l want a man in my life?? The eternal question that one.........................K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 26, 2008 7:44 PM

I don't really trust the instant "blow your socks off" reaction. I've found it to be rather deceptive in that you close your already misty eyes to some possible fatal flaws because it 'feels right'.

Don't get me wrong, I haven't become hardened and clinical, I have my mushy romantic moments too. I've just come to the conclusion that a meeting of the minds and souls of two people that could have a wonderful loving enduring relationship does not necessarily begin with a flash and a spark and an instant attachment.

I'd much rather meet someone and give it a fighting chance than discard them immediately just because they didn't make my heart flutter.

Posted by: dharma61 at February 26, 2008 7:44 PM

Yes, Jennifer, why are you doing it to yourself.

It must be torture going out with men.

Yawn.

Posted by: neuroticfish at February 26, 2008 7:10 PM

Hello Jennifer Lorraine,
everyone body needs somebody (song), disregard the family, think of yourself for once, they say that because they think their need of you is greater than your need to be complimented with the companion you need, and he may remove you from them. Next meeting suggest to him that this is what your family think, the reaction will give you the greatest clue to the future direction. Been there done that.
Cheers OG
(hey you still haven't told me! ostj 54?)

Posted by: oldergent at February 26, 2008 5:09 PM

Thank you oldergent, kenny and wnw...I guess we all have asimilar problem or we would not still be here. Oldergent, I could well have that voice in my head...each time I set off to meet someone my family ask why I am doing it to myself...you don't need someone...that's what they think...I might not need someone but, hey, it would be fun to go out on more than one date, wouldn't it?
Not looking for perfect either...no way could I live up to that as I am far from perfect and don't want to be either...and Kenny...hate to tell you this one as I know what you think of my name changes...it's Jennifer Lorraine:))

Posted by: istj54 at February 26, 2008 4:03 PM

It has me stumped, I have checked out all you ladies that have an open profile, I have not seen a one of you that could not be called attractive and up to beautiful, well presented, from your blog material, articulate, confident, and what I would consider good company. istj (that has me stumped too, what does it mean) I do not think you are alone in wondering what it is that stops you from progressing forward on a meeting, surley the men would be impressed to meet you and try to be impressive to you. I was wondering if maybe instead of you switching off, there is that gentle voice in your subconscious saying "not again". I do not know and you do not shown divorce or widow in your profile, I also wonder if you other ladies though wanting and searching are the same or this time you are reaching for the unattainable. The perfect male.

Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at February 26, 2008 3:54 PM

Kenny - I agree entirely. There are lots of nice people on RSVP but it is hard to find someone where you really hit it off, get that spark, but it can happen ... chemistry does exist but we are all very complicated creatures and to find two where the chemistry is just right doesn't happen often. Istj .. keep your chin up, it will happen but as kenny says ... hopefully when it happens other factors won't complicate things because that's a real bugger.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 26, 2008 3:40 PM

Believe me Lorraine chemistry does exist.I may not have had as many dates as Bill (nor do I keep a record as he does) but I have had my share and believe me on the very rare occasion that you find it you know almost instantly when the chemistry is there.The fact that things haven't progressed further often comes down to other factors that complicate the equation.

Posted by: abckenny at February 26, 2008 3:22 PM

Sorry for the misunderstanding Kenny...but I have always said that I meet lovely men here and I have never thought at any time that they were not good enough for me. I have rarely met one I did not like. My philosophy of people, if you read last weeks blogs, is that we are all equal. So why would I think myself better than another?
I believe the problem is with me and not them. I think that is what I said...and the word interesting just struck a chord but it is still probably most likely the old "chemistry" thing again. It's just that men on here have claimed that it does not exist so I was attempting to think more on the problem...and you were right...it is me...and my problem.

Posted by: istj54 at February 26, 2008 3:07 PM

istj
I don't dislike you at all .How could I because as you say we have never met.!!!Actually I think you are gorgeous .perhaps it's just the vibes you give out that that none of the guys you meet are ever good enough for you.

Posted by: abckenny at February 26, 2008 2:55 PM

Oh, I don't know, amberlight...maybe in heaven?

Posted by: istj54 at February 26, 2008 2:45 PM

Hi ISTJ,
Don't get down on yourself! You just want someone who encompasses intelligent conversation and some "spark" or "fire". Not such a great ask, I don't think!! Which is why I'll probably be on this site forever!

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 26, 2008 2:41 PM

Probably...abckenny...It's always a two way street...they are likely bored to snores with my stories of my life of druggery and misery...I was merely wondering why I don't ever seem to want to have a second date...That's all...not saying I am God's gift...it is a problem that I have and just opened it up for some opinion...so thanks kenny...It's my fault...usually is...might be why I've given up looking...I don't need stimulating conversation all the time but I also don't need someone's life history in a monotone either...I always get the vibe that you don't like me Kenny but I may be wrong...after all you have never met me.

Virgil, thankyou for your compliment and I thought about your idea too. The five coffee thing sounded brilliant when I first read it, but when I started to ponder...not so great. You can get very attached to someone in that time and would not like to be told...no number six:))

Posted by: istj54 at February 26, 2008 2:26 PM

ISTJ Spark of interest?...What I am saying is that I always enjoy my dates and usually have dinner with them but somewhere during the conversation I lose interest and that usually is the kiss of death before there is ever a kiss...If they maintained the interest level of the conversation I may be more open to the
ISTJ I find it interesting that YOU lose interest and that THEY fail to maintain your interest.
Just wondering ..if they ever lose interest?

Is there no chemistry to begin with ?
Or is it your need for stimulating conversation at all times that is neutralising it?

Posted by: abckenny at February 26, 2008 1:56 PM

Virgil if "the one" is looking for me l wish he would put his glasses on and hurry up!!!.................K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 25, 2008 5:33 PM

I'm with you, Kaz!!

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 26, 2008 1:53 PM

Is it possible we could all have dates, coffee or whatever, that last about 1/2 an hour, and commit to 5 of such meetings with a person?

From being on the blogs, and looking at the profiles of people here, i think we have an exceptionally well presented lot of people here.
ISTJ if you were in Adelaide, I would definitely send you a kiss, and try and organise a coffee meet.
Timewarp, you are so fit, so positive, definitely fitter and more agile than me, maybe a woman in her mid 50s would be appropriate for someone with your drive and passion for life.

Posted by: virgil at February 26, 2008 11:31 AM

Spark of interest?...What I am saying is that I always enjoy my dates and usually have dinner with them but somewhere during the conversation I lose interest and that usually is the kiss of death before there is ever a kiss...If they maintained the interest level of the conversation I may be more open to the kiss...I have only ever kissed one rsvp date in the two years I have been here, on and off...anyways it is just my problem and the word interesting just struck a chord last night because I often mull over why I never want a second date as I have met many very nice men here...and as you know I am all for the chemistry thingy that men don't seem to think exists...it could be paranormal...da da da da!!!

Posted by: istj54 at February 26, 2008 9:29 AM

istj ... I think interesting is very different to a spark. Interesting is someone you can get on with, when there is a real spark you may have met someone you can't get on without ... big difference.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 26, 2008 8:58 AM

Latin dancing sounds fun Slightsync...but many years ago I went to a pub here where they had the dancing...I've never been asked to dance by so many men who could look me in the eye...I am five foot two...now "interesting"...methinks you have hit the nail on the head with that word...it was a light bulb moment when I read that...my dates all start out well but don't maintain the interest level. Maybe "interesting" is the new word for chemistry/spark.

Posted by: istj54 at February 26, 2008 7:22 AM

Slightsynch: Thanks for yours.

Feeling much better by last night thanks, and celebrated by taking today and tonight off from work (except answering a few work calls and giving out prices.)

Spent 90% of it on the 2 blogs. Mainly trying to manouvre Marcus into getting real and naming his sources and not just full of unsubstantiated hot air - took till about 2am.

Got across to today's pm emails about 3am sun time. First emails from 2 lovely ladies, so my social life is back on track too,

Must hit sack fast - only 4 1/2 hours till I rise for work. Lucky I'm hyperactive.

I'd like to say the secret of my youthfulness is in my jeans, but I only ever had one pair - black, before I married, 50-odd years ago. So I guess it's in my genes.

I help with demanding tennis 2 evenings a week, dancing about every 2nd Sat night, climbing around in roofspaces about one half-day a fortnight, and hoping to start Fri morning ping pong this week. Bushwalk occasionally.

Try to con my mind into avoiding stress.

Cheers

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 26, 2008 4:42 AM

I gotta have that chemistry or spark, that feeling of wow, when can I see you again, and that the feelings are mutual for both of us!! You know the "blow your socks off" type of feelings.

Posted by: junebaby57 at February 25, 2008 8:33 PM

Well that is what I would like too. 6 years without finding a man that I want to keep seeing long term, and I wonder....I go out heaps...have a good circle of friends, know heaps of people at uni...go to conferences. the beach, on bushwalks, volunteering, now am meeting way more people at work.How to break the ice socially could be a good topic, if someone appears really interested but no-one says anything. Which happens to me when out. Suppose a lot of you bloggers would have a good opening line for those occasions.

Think I might move on from looking for "the" one to "some" one...

Posted by: istj54 at February 25, 2008 9:09 PM

istj54...I might put a flyer up at the local Coles on the notice board. istj54 I do not even know what I am looking for in a guy. Interesting is important. Do you think relaxing and not being in a rush or stressed about it helps. Stopping looking and just being or whatever. Incongruous with a dating site.

I just do not know. Should I join the uni diving/snorkelling club...I intended to. Spend most of my spare time near or in the sea with fit healthy happy people and looking at the nice reef. Maybe I should do it as you sure do not meet men at a bellydance class which I did last year. LOL. However Latin Dance is VERY social as you would imagine. Got an invite today by some El Salvadorans to go to Latin Dancing at a nightspot. Sounds more fun than the dive group. Theres only so many spare hours in the day.........so I usually go for the choice that is the most fun.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 26, 2008 2:26 AM

SlightSynch: How does one use 9 of 3 stamps? Are you better with words than numbers? (-8

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 25, 2008 2:17 AM

No better with words than numbers timewarp1, in case you have not noticed - and particularly with the opposite sex. I meant 9 out of 12 stamps if you must know. Don't like them hanging round but now I have the single status I should hold on to a few. Hope you feel better, your posts suggest it. Well we do discuss some interesting topics on the blog don't we. Glad the tennis was invigorating. Note to self...use that mayonaise recipe. Maybe you have found the fountain of youth in that recipe?

SSC

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 26, 2008 2:07 AM

Kianee:

My dear friend and now honorary sister FD67 (age 61) phoned after dinner to tell me about her first day practicing as a psychologist under supervision (Got her registration on Fri) and to ask me if I was still so down.

Told her I wasn't, mainly due to the lovely supportive things that you and others had written to me on the blogs this weekend. Read her yours over the phone, and she said "Tell her to move to Brisbane".

I said "What about her farm?" "Tell her to sell it."

"But how would she support herself in Brisbane? I can only just support myself."

"Get a job and buy a house here, cheaper than what she got for the farm."

I must admit I was thinking of your predicament when finishing off my bellrope post to Junebaby tonight.

My mother's 4 brothers were all dairy farmers in Qld. They all married, and 2 sold their farms and retired to Brisbane when they were in their late 60s and their wives (both 16 years younger) were in their early 50s. The wives then did a couple of days' charity volunteer work a week, and their husbands rested on their laurels, because they could afford to.

I guess it could still be done, this century. Just depends on how important it is to you to get stars in your middle-aged eyes, a hop in your heart, and a twitch or two plus some personal perspiration whenever he just squeezes your hand.

Re sending you the 2 poetry books: your stamped email or mine, to give me your address? I've got one left at the moment, and can afford another dozen in 10 days.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 26, 2008 1:42 AM

Timewarp……Thank you for your time and effort suggestions @ 6.41
I will mull and cogitate over your words and glean as much info as possible. Your first suggestion is a good starting point indeed.
I wonder though if I could settled for a cool approach for like junebaby , I would like fireworks too. The thing is though, that as I do not live in a city I would be happy just to see a little spark of hope. There is no one around here who has the capacity to learn to ring bells.
Ps :-) if you lurk near the churches too long they may rope you in.
Busy day for me tomorrow, chasing cows, so off to sleep now .

Posted by: kianee at February 26, 2008 12:23 AM

Junebaby @ 8.33pm:

Ooooh yess! Bills and Moon were always right. Every woman's dream, and every romantic man's. I'll have what she's having! Please please please!

But you are also right in your question. How many leaves does the Forestfloor Spider turn over, one after another, day after day, year after year, always looking for a cockroach or other REALLY tasty morsel, before she knuckles down and settles for a tough old wood-louse?

Now, in my early 70s, I still have your dream, Junebaby, but with two other thoughts:

* There may be several people around, each of whom could ring my bells. At my age, and after being unwillingly on my own for so long, the first one I meet will do me fine, even if she can reach only 3 of the 4 bell-ropes.

* Cast away on a desert island (or marooned in a small distant provincial town) you may find that there is nobody else there who can ring bells, or even wants to learn.

Do you move, or compromise? I'd move to the big smoke, and lurk near churches on Sundays. But I am, aren't I?

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 25, 2008 10:53 PM

Istj

Try ignoring the psychobabble about “The One.”

That is RSVP Women’s Nonsense Talk, like a lot of rubbish on this site.

Think in terms of the “The First 21” as in “The First 21 to knock on my Door score a free lunch” then tell them there is no such thing as a Free Lunch.

You’ll become a very popular girl

Posted by: neuroticfish at February 25, 2008 9:52 PM

Think I might move on from looking for "the" one to "some" one...

Posted by: istj54 at February 25, 2008 9:09 PM

the "one" ...the "one that is meant for me" still hasn't found me yet, is there a time limit on this concept, as I am not ready to accept "near enuff or "nearly the right one" just yet!!

I gotta have that chemistry or spark, that feeling of wow, when can I see you again, and that the feelings are mutual for both of us!! You know the "blow your socks off" type of feelings.

Anway at least by being on a dating site, meeting and going out with people, should increase my chances of being found, or maybe I will find "the one"

Have a lovely evening all...jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at February 25, 2008 8:33 PM

Kianee: I can only suggest that you begin your search by setting very wide boundaries as to what The One is allowed to be.

I say it's far more realistic to say "my next partner" - in my case Ms Right-Enuff, not The One. I reckon one hopeful in 20 might ever meet The One in their whole life - usually after one or both are already married to someone else.

1) I find it much easier to work the other way round: to list what I call the "veto factors" that really do need to cross her off the list right from square one, if she has/shows them.

In my case, no men, no smokers, and no significant expensive counter-productive addictions (alcohol etc.)

No skinnies, because hugging them gives me the famine shudders. And because I'm heightist and can't help it, height not taller than me, and preferably shorter than me - about the same in heels.

(But if I don't find someone soon, I'm going to relax that one, and recheck the women who are same or a tiny bit shorter than me in bare feet, but taller in stilettos. There comes a time when perhaps an old girl can outgrow her need for tall slilettos, WHILE she's got her man on her arm.)

Nobody any way as selfish, un-giving of her time and undemonstrative (except to progeny), or as uninterested in lovemaking as my Ex. was, as soon as she had children.

And nobody unintelligent or narrow-minded enough to bore me stiff at every meeting.

No-one who's very much older than I am in fact (forget calendar age - that's irrelevant after your 20s) and not too much younger, which would be likely to guarantee her too long a widowhood, with my memory as a benchmark for any replacements. (I plan to be a VERY hard act to follow.)

And especially no couch potatoes or already crippled (forget PC equivalent long phrase), because I'm physically active, and want my darling to share that with me, probably more than anything else, Because I know it's the key to my own longevity, and it's so much more fun exercising together, vertically or horizontally - eg. I can't be bothered swimming laps on my own.

Hopefully both of us still mobile and active for at least another 10 years, but once coupled, who knows, and you have to accept the risk that one may suddenly fall to bits.

2) Once you've decided what you hope you're NOT going to have to look for, you look at everyone else who comes past, to see if they might just do. (3 or 4 new women at tennis last night.)

That's why I'm happy to meet so many local RSVP women who don't actually look impossible - you never know, and I say better to check out everyone, than quickly discard most of them up front at check-profile stage, because they don't sound exactly perfect for you.

That's Princess who slept on a Pea territory, and I'm looking for a good-natured, intelligent, energetic not-too-ugly countess who has fewer tickets on herself.

The beautiful expect presents,
but the plain are happy to go Dutch. (c) W.M.H. 2003

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 25, 2008 6:41 PM

Virgil if "the one" is looking for me l wish he would put his glasses on and hurry up!!!.................K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 25, 2008 5:33 PM

"Do we ever find "the one?" or does "the one" find us?" Virgil, I would love to know the answer too. My fear is that I may trip/fall/meet " the one' , without recognising who it is

Posted by: kianee at February 25, 2008 5:17 PM

Virgil,
What is the purpose of finding the one if the feeling is not reciprocated, the secret is to meld as one. I really hope you do find the companion you so earnestly seek.
Cheers OG.

Posted by: oldergent at February 25, 2008 4:54 PM

Do we ever find "the one?" or does "the one" find us?

To be open to possibilities, If I cat truly say I have done that in a conscious manner, then it has been a good day.

Posted by: virgil at February 25, 2008 4:21 PM

Irony....I used a stamp to contact someone who had no stamps....he answered to tell me he had just splashed out on stamps as well...I posted last week that I had saved money by ordering dvds that were out of stock...an hour later I received an email to say they had sourced the stock and I received them the next day...mind you, that was $150 well spent because I have watched some of them and had many of the best laughs in years. I better go and transfer money to the visa to pay for my expensive week!
blueeyes, I used to check out another site and noticed many of the same faces as well. With my failing memory and many senior moments happening, I find it easier to stay on just one site! :-)
Cheers!

Posted by: bm1960 at February 25, 2008 8:54 AM

SlightSynch: How does one use 9 of 3 stamps? Are you better with words than numbers? (-8

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 25, 2008 2:17 AM

Kianee @ 10.41pm: Thank you very much for all your kind words - for their breadth and their depth.

Yes - finances certainly can change in an instant. On Friday morning I found that someone has started importing to Brisbane cheap ready-assembled chandelier hoists from China (previously my biggest selling self-designed and self-manufactured product, and the most profitable, till now. And I have a lot of my scarce money tied up in batches of components already in stock.)

I'm adjusting to that nasty new reality this weekend, with some trepidation and a wisp of fear. It was hard enough making ends meet before.

Re The One: I explained to Virgil how I lack the ability to get my jollies from being an enthusiastic but non-contributing fan of a football team or other external organisation - need to be involved at a more personal level with fewer people, and particularly, to be involved with one special partner in shared activities, emotions and goals.

When I'm not, I spend time on other people who matter to me - had a mate here for lunch today (FD98) to try to cheer her up, but we weren't much emotional use to one another, so she went home for a nannanap, and I had a poppasnooze in my recliner.

But without a romantic partner, a big piece of me is still unwillingly idle. That's why I'm unusually active in RSVP - I think I'm more motivated than most of us.

I certainly don't allow myself the unrealistic luxury of looking for The One. Right-Enuff will do me, but she's absolutely got to be as keen on me as I am on her - didn't have that in my marriage, and once bitten, twice shy.

PS. If you've got a spare email stamp, it will get you read-and-return copies of my two self-published books of verse. A P.O. Box mentioned on here was the skinflint alternative.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 25, 2008 2:07 AM

Posted by: kianee at February 24, 2008 10:41 PM

Hi kianee...I should just email but this is here to use...as I used 9 of the 3 stamps on bloggers..but should save a few just in case..so anyone else who knows this or does not want to know...avert eyes now! well kianee you have an interesting life from your profile which I looked at. Glad you are enjoying the blog. My analysis of astrology was personal, tongue in cheek...i e my ex is Taurus = stubborn, sensuous and likes having roast dinners cooked for him. Based on one person. OK well I am in 4th year uni of a combined Law/Latin American Studies degree...majoring in Human Rights and Development Studies type topics. Prior to that, I did a bridging course. Ha, well I have been discliplined with the study, more or less but lately with the vacation jobs..am enjoying working and I have to find a balance when semester begins. I only have about 2 years to go : ))) I plan to travel to Spain or Tuscany this year...or maybe Fiji, which is why I am working...Hope you share a bit about yourself when you feel like it. Re the spats, well I guess the blog is a microcosm of a sort and people do not agree all the time usually. You will get the hang of the posting or not posting as the system permits. I will call it a night now.......

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 24, 2008 11:27 PM

Hi all,
Time warp I have just been reading your posts here and in the other site. From my little corner, it appers you are well loved in here and in other places, that you give encouragement support and help to the many people who you encounter, that you have amazing writing skills which anable you to communicate, and gives the impression that you are living life to the full, and have had an interesting past. You also have many other qualities that I can only guess at.
May I be presumptuous and continue? I Hestitate to say what I want to say but will go on anyway as I feel your pain and heartache. Pain which emminates from two areas: Your present lack of finances, and that you have not yet found “the one”. The “Black Dog” is cruel indeed and no amount of words can take that pain away , but be assured, tomorrow is another day , and the sun will shine again. You will come across some amusing situation which will make you smile, and overcome your mood. (I have been there too, as have so many others)
Re your finances, I empathises with you, not easy!! But you have the ability to earn and circumstances can change in an instant.
Re finding the “One”. There is so much to be said about this, so many facets of this aspect of you. Perhaps it is your strong need to nurture your “One” which so frustrates. What a wonderful journey you are having in your search though.Your efforts are not in vain, for you are meeting so many different people, and thereby “sorting the wheat from the chaff” I see you being considerate and kind, honest and open in your approach, Soon one wonderful “one” will recognise you for who you are, just as you will recognise her.
And you will both say ”more than near enough” Don’t give up on your search.
Hopefully I have not spoken out of turn.

Slightly Synchronicity @ 5.55pm.
thank you for your kind thoughts, and for sharing a little of your life. You certainly are very busy.and if you have just recently changed your lifestyle you will still be adjusting. You must be well organised and disiplined, I admire you. What are you studying at Uni and what year are you in ?
I have just been reading the blogs for about 1 month and have recently been saying a little, and getting used to this system, I have not looked back too far , but have seen a few “Spats” on here. Think that perhaps these spats reflect life in general, and see this behaviour so often in the little township in which I live. One day, the worst of enemies, and the next, bosom buddies
I enjoy reading the different opinions, and the sparring in here and Yes, we are in the same boat, and I really do look forward to meeting up at a blogger meet some day. Hints for blogging are always appreciated and helpful, thank you.
Best wishes to you in your studies

Hope everyone is having a good evening

Posted by: kianee at February 24, 2008 10:41 PM

laughsandtalks...you claim to be broadminded in your profile.....

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 24, 2008 10:33 PM

Beware the man with talented hands, you never know where he will put them next.

Posted by: willow1059 at February 24, 2008 8:31 PM

Now that made me laugh out loud.

bm1960...hope you have fun using RSViP...I also lashed out and got that..wow we are spoiling ourselves. I have to do something with my profile....

don't worry timewarp1...someone posted about finding someone round the corner...wherever that may be and it was just supposed to be a silly comment, sorry.
Where is the proverbial corner...you know meaning how far from your house is it...never mind. Thought the person who posted it was considering widening their geographical options. Sorry you did not understand what I wrote...you know I write unclearly..may employ a proof reader.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 24, 2008 10:13 PM

I know if I meet some people of that age group, I will certainly recommend you.

Posted by: virgil at February 23, 2008 9:03 PM

I have already thinking about my single female friends and aquaintences to see if any one could possibly be suitable for unattatched RSVP bloggers. Will let you know timewarp1 if I think of anyone. I already mentioned my Mum...but she likes living alone.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 24, 2008 10:07 PM

Hi everyone, and I hope you all had a lovely weekend. I most certainly didn't save money online today as I bought 6 stamps today whilst only needing one....I believe there is an option to buy one stamp via mobile phone, but that doesn't suit me as I have a corporate phone which is not completely private. Never mind, I splashed out on a RSViP membership so I now have 3 months to find my perfect match!!!
good luck and a lovely week to you all...Cheers, Barbara.

Posted by: bm1960 at February 24, 2008 8:34 PM

blueeyes, Willow-thank you for your data analysis- I was smiling from ear to ear.

I believe this is known by the term cosmetic surgery.

Beware the man with talented hands, you never know where he will put them next.

Posted by: willow1059 at February 24, 2008 8:31 PM

Slightsync @ 5.44pm: Sorry - where did I say "round the corner" in a way you didn't follow?

Looked back several days, and saw nothing. If you can't remember, I'll look up where TLD taught us to do a global search. [Thank you again, dear Miss Helpful! (-8 ]

Off reluctantly to tennis 15mins late, for exercise, and I hope. fun. Seeyezall anon.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 24, 2008 8:18 PM

I was always taught that the pleasure is in giving rather than receiving. And if it felt the right thing to do at the time and it made someone happy then you would have also received great pleasure from it.
You should never lower your standards to meet others-let them rise up to you and you will continue the improve the world.
Haven't blogged for a few days and there is so much reading to catch up on first.
Willow-thank you for your data analysis- I was smiling from ear to ear.

Posted by: blueeyes1955 at February 24, 2008 6:51 PM

istj - I feel no regret at all about being the "giver" and would do it again without hesitation. I certainly never think that I shouldn't have been so generous.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 24, 2008 6:39 PM

Yes ……many people here are rebels and leaders, and what is the common thread?
Courage, Humanity, Compassion and the search for that complementary “other”
Best wishes in that search, for it seems to me well deserved.
Go gently people, and be kind to yourselves

Posted by: kianee at February 23, 2008 11:41 AM

Hey kianee...it is suprising that there is quite a lot of common world view on here...or at least empathy, sympathy and support. have you looked back much in the archives?? Unfortunately some of the outrageous, racy, insulting and other comments seen as innappropriate by the moderators got removed. I've been too busy with my new lifestyle of juggling two jobs while preparing to go back to uni...so can not blog as often as previously. Also have to prepare for uni beginning soon. I read the blogs for ages before joining in. Hope you are not daunted by the log in system...and that you copy after posting in case you need to paste the post if it fails, then repost it.

Perhaps you may make it to a blogger meet one day, and put faces to some names.Hope your are not put off by our silliness and sometimes rambunctiousness...we are all in a similar boat really.
slightsync

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 24, 2008 5:55 PM

Action, not aspirin. Make sense?

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 23, 2008 2:25 AM

Yes timewarp1...I forgot sunsets and sunrises..also the moonrise. We had a lovely full moon the other night. Yep I am a believer in action (not that sort of action)...for sure. Well its good that you are going to the Dabblers group and getting to sit with women you do not know....yet. Let me know when you define where "around the corner" is...

Having no money but for essentials is not such a bad thing as you sure appreciate what you have. Well put about how we think of having a little, a little more etc.

I try to make time to stop and smell the roses so to speak and do hope you make a little time to relax in this busy life of yours
: ))

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 24, 2008 5:44 PM

Helloooo!!

Don't tell me EVERYbody has suddenly got a life! No posts on either blog since I did onto both, some time after midnight last night. And now it's heading for midday.

Well I'll just have to go to the laundromat and then welcome my lunch date here, won't I?

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 24, 2008 12:29 PM

A L 58: Don't worry. Not offended. Try never to do offended - part of my technique of keeping calm and reasonable till my attacker either quietens down too, or totally loses it and has a viper-style spack attack because I won't snap back.

Or in the case of my 2002-3 lover, I said something that I thought was harmless, and she bit my head off. So I asked her what was it in her past that had caused what I'd said to hurt her, and she burst out sobbing.

"It's the first time in my life I've offered someone a fight, and they've worried about my feelings, instead of automatically fighting back." She'd recruited me for a toyboy, and grew to love my nature quite by mistake.

As for you, I've felt from the beginning of your questioning ("Yes, but who cleaned the toilet?") that you had a private agenda. And that it involved one sex putting down the other, any time it raises its head over the battlements. But I had guessed the wrong sex.

So I repeat my question - your stamp or mine?

I did start to answer you, but then thought that what I was writing could bore or embarrass third parties if not myself, so saved it to Word for later on, and rewrote that post differently.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 24, 2008 12:23 AM

Timewarp,
I am so sorry, I didn't mean for you to feel I was interrogating you. That was certainly not my intention. You often willingly relate large parts of your life story spontaneously, so I didn't think you would mind. I haven't been "blogging" on this site very long, so I obvously haven't read all your contributions and I may be quite wrong, but I haven't read a lot of affirmations about your ex. I'm probably just hypersensitive to this as my partner always saw me as the ''flawed" one in our relationship (I came from the dysfunctional family background of alcoholism and violence therefore it was me who had all the problems such as being "demanding", "selfish", "neurotic", "over-emotional", "unstable"). He on the other hand, saw himself as being very stable and reasonable.
So it is likely that I am just being, as I have explained, hypersensitive to what I perceived as your listing of your ex's faults.
So I take full responsibilty for any feelings of anger or dismay that you have if I seem to be prying into your private life. I did not mean to be unkind or judgemental.

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 23, 2008 11:48 PM

Amberlight58: Just answered one of your questions on the Valentines Day blog.

Things seem to be quietening down, so I might wander off and read the week's junk mail. Really need those supermarket speciats this week. Seeya.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 23, 2008 11:40 PM

kianee @ 10.14pm: That's why I'm such a try-hard at RSVP dating. (But drew another total blank, across town this arvo.)

I'm still sure Ms Right-Enuff who thinks I'm Mr Right-Enuff has GOT to be slinking around somewhere - but

Virgil @ 9.03pm: Thank you for your most generous reference, mate, and even more-generous offer to tout for me, but I'm a poor man so far, so she needs to be in far-off BrisVegas or thereabouts:

I've already had all my interstate trips for 2008. except one to Sydney, wrapped round Tony Robbins' 4-day + 3-evening FireWalk seminar on Sept 19-22.

And BTW, I really liked your summary at 8.51pm. Spot on.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 23, 2008 11:02 PM

It does seem that most people I have observed on this site do not hate the other gender just some specific members of the opposite one. I have followed the character side of both the Western and Oriental paths of Astrology for a long time, as I follow the compatibility check on those who contact me, peep me etc, I find it accurate to a surprising degree, me I am sag on the cusp of scorp. I keep the past in mind but what has been has been and now what is over that hill ahead. The daily readings, too general, when in doubt I go to my Runes.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at February 23, 2008 10:56 PM

Riversong.@8.26.pm/ Virgil and istl54.
now it seems we are moving to concensus, I think what we are moving towards is that all people should have the same rights as one another, that is the form of equality I can agree to./ I have skipped several posts to get this posted/ Bill I shot lousy, I think it was alianne and the other Bill (Shake)plus the late night and early morning, sorry can;t think of a better excuse, worse still I have the really difficult match tomorrow
Cheers

Posted by: oldergent at February 23, 2008 10:39 PM

istj54, gee, you're on fire today. I agree with timewarp, that paragraph spoke heaps to me too. By the way, I'm so glad you're still with us on here.

Posted by: malsie at February 23, 2008 10:15 PM

Malsie, Thank you
Laughsandtalks, ‘The sexes are not equal and it is really only the relatively huge gains in wealth, health and prosperity that we have had since the industrial revolution that have allowed the rapid, somewhat experimental, social changes you mention ;-)’………. Include in this list education and the brave souls who fought for so many of the rights for women and children which has enabled a positive attitude change, and allowed the sexes to become a little more equal.
I somehow think it will be some time, if ever, for a true balance to be achieved for everyone. This balance will only come, if, as istj54so rightly says ….. ‘ that no matter our talents, sex, race, wealth status, importance, role..etc, etc...we are all of equal "value" as human beings.’……
Istj54 I fully agree with your assertion of …. “Our world is full of injustice and inequality perpetuated by people who feel they are superior in some way to others”…… and would like to add, that this attitude has lead to so many wars during the ages…………. “I know that people's circumstances, abilities, environments are unequal but the basic being should be treated as such”….. Perhaps people will learn to value and accept the attributes and differences between genders. It is not not that one is more equal than the other, just different. One gender comlpiments the other. A change of attitude a greater understanding of the differences between people would perhaps prevent wars on both fronts!
Timewarp, I have a feeling that your best times are still to come!
Ps. I would love to hear a little about your poetry.

Posted by: kianee at February 23, 2008 10:14 PM

istj @ 9.35pm: Your last paragraph brought tears to my eyes. It spoke directly to me, and is the most personally-empowering thing that I have read anywhere for a long time. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 23, 2008 9:56 PM

amberlight @ 1.45pm: You've just asked me some rather hard questions. I've answered your previous ones obediently below, but I'd rather not answer this batch here and now in public, if you don't mind. Bit too personal.

Another time, another place perhaps? Your stamp or mine? (ie. do you wanna put your money where your inquisition is?)

istj: I'm with you, as far as I can stagger. Wonderful stuff.

riversong 1: You're also very good, every time I see your disembodied words.

Must go cook dinner for one. Too tired tonight to hit the town - too much climbing, clambering and kneeling today in the heat.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 23, 2008 9:44 PM

WnW...I was merely using that scenario as that, a scenario...and not really a good one to say what I meant. I know that there are many good men out there sharing the load of day to day living equally with their partners. Virgil seemed to get what I meant.

I've never even been in that position either.
Your nurturing of your step-daughter is to be commended and has paid dividends with a warm relationship with her now. She has enriched your life.

I think that when we are in relationships we enjoy "doing" for the other, but when it ends we sometimes feel as though we should not have been so generous. That is a shame really. We should feel pride, instead, that we were the "givers". I get this sense from reading these posts that people who have been the givers are a little resentful afterwards. This is a feeling that needs to be shelved as it will detract from being generous in the future. It can lead to bitterness too...you know the old standby, "After all I have done for you...."

Posted by: istj54 at February 23, 2008 9:35 PM

WnW, historically the woman has been the nurturer and the man the provider.....the fact that you were involved in the day to day care and development of a child who was not your biological offspring says volumes about your character...And your desire to be part of a family unit.

That it wasn't appreciated is a failing of another to appreciate your commitment to others..............K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 23, 2008 9:21 PM

Timewarp, you have a very good heart, and I know from your open and honest posts you would make a woman of suitable age, a wonderful partner.

I may be wrong, but I would think that many here are just thinking "Do I know a woman around Mid 60's or thereabouts that is looking for a kind decent person?"

I know if I meet some people of that age group, I will certainly recommend you.

Posted by: virgil at February 23, 2008 9:03 PM

"...but when we get home I cook the meal, do the dishes, bathe the children, do the washing...just because I am the woman and you are superior to me...get what I am getting at now?"
istj ... not all men are like that, you know. I used to bathe the child, help the child with her homework, prepare the meal, do the dishes, do the washing on the weekend ... not just because the woman was too busy but because I wanted to. And it wasn't even my child. Was it appreciated? NO.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 23, 2008 8:57 PM

ISTJ
Your scenario is the world our generation was born into, our children's generation was born into a softening of that scenario. The post by amberlight, ealier this aftenoon compares and contrasts the huge difference between men of the generation x as that generation is called, and the baby boom genereation.

As a father born in the baby boom generation, I celebrated in the way of amberlights partner. This was the expected way to be.

It is the women in their 30's who clearly spell out to their men what is expected, and what they will do in return, in a way their mothers would be so proud. The other night here we discussed co--dependence in the lyrics of songs from the 60's.

There wouldn't be much, if any co-dependece in songs written today, in fact its more like treat me right or on your bike lyrics.

ISTJ Introvert, Sensitive Thinking Judging, in your discussions with OG, you are both talking in different languages.

Unless I am wrong, ISTJ, you are saying Under God, all souls are equal. A fact nobody would deny.

OG you are saying, that everyone has different characteristics, undeniably, the average male is physically stronger than the average female.
It is also undeniably true that the average female is more nurturing than the aveage male.

ISTJ, your example of the bus dirvers stands true for our generation, however couple a man from baby boom generation with a woman from the later generation, and the workload is usually a bit more equal.

People are moving on from what was acceptable in the past in incremental, generational jumps, just ask the coupled 20 somethings about the split up of duties, way different to when I was in my 20's.

Posted by: virgil at February 23, 2008 8:51 PM

Kianee @ 11.41am: Thank you on my own behalf for your thanks, couched in your usual inspired and luminous writing style.

VIRGIL: Kaz is right. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a fan, whether it's of a band, a football team, a uniform (eg. Goths), a tennis player, a novelist, a political party or a religion.

That's how many of the population get their so-important sense of tribe - of belonging somewhere, and thus feeling relevant.

I guess my isolated childhood insulated me from even the concept of that sort of nebulous anonymous peripheral belongingness. My loss.

So I was stuck with having to get my togetherness from much smaller groups - first my parents and their children and employees on our sheep property, then my gang of Uni mates, and later from my own nuclear marriage. (We both had very few friends except workmate acquaintences, and focussed inwards far too much for our own good.)

And in 26 years, we never had one whole night together, away from the children. Ridiculous!

This narrow focus made it harder for me when I lost our alpha male (my dad) when I was just 16, and mum and her 3 sons moved quickly 400 long miles away, to Brisbane and city life.

And harder for Joan and me to lose our son, and harder for me 7 years later to fairly suddenly and 100% completely lose touch with both my wife and 2nd daughter, after the other daughter had already emigrated to the UK.

I went from having a a family to love, be nice to and to work to support, to having an aunt.

That's why I'm so keen to find me a new dearest darling, and again be part of a small mutually-supportive, mutually-loving team. again..

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 23, 2008 8:38 PM

istj54, oldergent and marcus, I think people are as "equal" as apples, oranges and pineapples. No-one is the same, and "equal" used in relation to people does not mean "clones" - it means, as isj34 says - equal worthiness, that despite our individual unique strengths and weaknesses, we are all equally worthy little grains of sand that make up this whole beach.

But yes, some might fit better with those more likeminded than others. We are all at different stages of growth and personal evolution - would you call a sappling "less worthy" than an oak tree? I guess it depends through which eyes we look. Understandable that butterflies find more satisfaction with other butterflies than sitting around with catterpillars.

In relation to men/women, "equality" for a woman does not mean being like a man. Maybe if we change the yardsyick, see if men can be "equal" by being feminine, multitasking, right-brain thinking, giving birth and breastfeeding? Men and women are DIFFERENT, but both equally worthy :)

What has this do do with on-line shopping? Maybe for a like-minded butterfly on ebay - isn't that what we are doing? :)

Posted by: riversong1 at February 23, 2008 8:26 PM

No, Oldergent, they are worthy of contempt, not respect, because of their inhumane activities and psychopathy...but they started as equal...I'm thinking maybe that equal is not the word to use. we seem to be using it differently.

I'll give a scenario to show what I am meaning in what I am saying. We are married and both work fulltime in the same position...bus drivers...we have two children...we go home each night together...but when we get home I cook the meal, do the dishes, bathe the children, do the washing...just because I am the woman and you are superior to me...get what I am getting at now? I am not your equal because you are stronger than me? You are male? Why is this sort of thing still happening in this day and age? Does anyone know the answer?

I haven't thought this one out too much as I am out the door now...so be kind:))

Posted by: istj54 at February 23, 2008 7:16 PM

istj54. @ 4.43 pm
Do you include people like The son of Sam, Ivan Milat, and any other human filth your equal ? Have they your respect and consideration as an equal, no need to answer, of course you do not ? You may consider yourself as good as the next person, but being their equal is another thing.
Cheers

Posted by: oldergent at February 23, 2008 7:03 PM

LaT...personal value is simply being human...we are all equal under the stars...and yes, it is a simplistic, warm fuzzy, totally unrealistic theory/opinion, but I am positive if more people adopted it there would be far less stress and tension...read war...in this world.

Our world is full of injustice and inequality perpetuated by people who feel they are superior in some way to others. I know that people's circumstances, abilities, environments are unequal but the basic being should be treated as such. You may have a superior intellect but do you consider yourself better than someone less endowed? You should not.

...and to say that because I think we are all equal does not mean to say that everyone on this site should appeal to me. Just because they don't, however, does not mean that they are lesser beings than I am. That is ridiculous.

Posted by: istj54 at February 23, 2008 6:53 PM

istj54,
not really, she was trained by me, to my methods, followed the orders given, could not do the physical work as well as me, had trouble controling rowdy customers, had more home problems she felt she had to tell me about, mainly money and accommodation, but she was loyal and got loyalty in return, as I said we were an effective team, I know damn well she did not consider her assistant managers (Male) equals and had no hesitation in firing them if they did not perform, as she was taught to do. Hope that answers your question.
Cheers

Posted by: oldergent at February 23, 2008 6:51 PM

istj54.
So how do you assess personal value? What are the criteria you use to decide?
Perhaps it is just an unsubstantiable warm and fuzzy feel good notion?
If you follow your own logic you would then date and mate any man here; we are all due your respect in an equal measure.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at February 23, 2008 6:09 PM

Oldergent, by saying that you were never equals with the woman, who went on to successfully continue your work, did you mean to say that she was far superior to you?

Who gets to judge who the superior beings are?..Men?

Posted by: istj54 at February 23, 2008 5:19 PM

I would have to agree with Marcus, in most parts. Men do understand that equality is a many and varied thing, and generally accept the pecking order system and can live by the unwritten rules of evoloution. The problem it seems to me is when women get caught up mens concept of equality, eg Lady you want to be equal, play by my rules and no quarter given or taken. Honestly Amber I could not work in your environment, does that make me equal to you, of course not! I was one of the first managers in a very large take away food organisation to insist on and get a female assistant manager, for no other reason than she was reliable, punctual, sober, a good worker, and honest, and had the respect of the youngish staff, no sexual motives ever. Together we paved the way, now there are as many female managers as male. There was never any social contact between us because it was 7/18/365. When I left she took over and stayed with them till retirement, But we were never equals, many strengths and weaknesses were found between us, the important neccessity was that we complimented each other and were an effective team. The point is of my contempories most of us were a team, while being different and not equal. In my book you cannot have love without mutual respect, lose respect lose love.
Cheers

Posted by: oldergent at February 23, 2008 5:09 PM

LaT: That is a hard one to measure, but I believe that no matter our talents, sex, race, wealth status, importance, role..etc, etc...we are all of equal "value" as human beings.
A starving child, in a backwater in Africa, is no less valuable than an American President. This opinion is, of course, just my view of humanity.
I know it is not the opinion, or attitude, of many who would like to continue with the ethos that there are more valuable, or valued, people in this world.
We are "all" due respect and should not be demeaned in any way because we are thought of as lesser beings for any reason.

Posted by: istj54 at February 23, 2008 4:53 PM

istj54.
Sam's Age blogs would probably put a few of the regular contributors here outside their comfort zones.
How do you measure "equality in value as a human being"?

Posted by: laughsandtalks at February 23, 2008 4:37 PM

kianee, best wishes to you too in your life. I looked at your profile, and you sound a most interesting and lovely woman. I too have enjoyed people revealing more of their deeper selves of late. It's not mandatory, obviously, but happens from time to time and makes the people who contribute come alive a bit more to me.

Posted by: malsie at February 23, 2008 3:39 PM

Laughsandtalks, I often read Sam's blogs and wonder why rsvp don't simply steal the ideas for topics.

I believe the sexes to be equal but with very different qualities and talents...gender differences?

Maybe what I refer to as equality is equality in value as human beings.

Posted by: istj54 at February 23, 2008 3:13 PM

istj54.
If you want a lively blog that is not over populated by wafflers, is moderated, and has frequent, relevant topic changes try Sam DeBrito's 'All Men Are Liars' column in The Age.

Re your complaint that 'men are still not willing to be truly equal in all respects'.
Much of the philosophy underpinning the equality arguments is poorly thought out garbage that ignores so many of the fundamental gender differences that have been sorting themselves for the last, say, 6 million years of primate/human evolution.
The sexes are not equal and it is really only the relatively huge gains in wealth, health and prosperity that we have had since the industrial revolution that have allowed the rapid, somewhat experimental, social changes you mention ;-)
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at February 23, 2008 2:41 PM

I can only agree, ISTJ. I work in a hospital environment and the expectations of men by the younger women of today are so much higher than ours were!
When I had my first child my husband spent all week (remember being forced to stay a week in hospital because we weren't "ready" to go home?) 'celebrating' the birth; he had to get his mum and sister in to clean the house before I came home. Today's young men often room in with ther partner at the hospital and get up to the baby during the night, changing it and getting it ready for the mother to feed from the very first night! No celebrating down the pub for them! And the expectation is that this will continue long-term and for as many children as a couple have, none of this "I have to go to work and I'm tired" business. The attitude is that you are half responsible for creating this human being, you are half-responsible for looking after it!
But then society has changed a lot though, lots of girls 'got themselves pregnant' back in my teenage years. The young men involved simply didn't want to know about it and denied it altogether. Now DNA testing means this can no longer happen and the Govt's attitude is you father the child you are responsible for supporting the child. How many men of OUR generation ISTJ, simply fathered children but never took any responsibilty for them? It was the woman's role. It must be hard for older men to change their ideas, although see what happens when an older-generation man fathers a child with a younger partner!! Their ex-partners and older children are amazed! They can and will share the responsibilty for a much younger partner!!

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 23, 2008 2:40 PM

I learned that you can't rely on anyone else for affirmation, that you must affirm yourself. I learned that loving someone as best you can is not always enough; and also that no matter how hard you try you can't "make" someone love you. And to not take that personally. Just to name a few.

What excellent lessons to learn in life amberlight...but very hard to remember sometimes:))

Posted by: istj54 at February 23, 2008 2:15 PM

Many of you may be finding yourselves in the disillusioned daters’ corner, but I am finding myself in the disillusioned bloggers’ corner.
I think we have been given poor topic choices that run out of steam too quickly.
I have found it difficult lately to rustle up a comment on anything much that I read. Perhaps, like Virgil, I have become discontent and am looking for something new to fire up some sort of enthusiasm….like the football season…go Pies!!
Reading the posts from yesterday, I get a sense of the generation gap that I mentioned last week…I think?...may have started last Saturday…
Not only a generation gap but also a vast difference in people’s environments regarding both family, times and locality. It is interesting to listen the varied life experiences and observe how they have formed the values, opinions and outlooks of each person.
I was brought up in a big city and was very much a part of the equality for women generation. This has formed my views, values and outlook…but it also provides for a sizable clash, even with men my age.
I think this is because we women were so ready for a change, but, of course, the men were happy for the status quo to remain firmly in place. Even now men are still not willing to be truly equal in all respects. Women are still doing the greater part of homecare and raising children. I know many men are great and supportive etc…I’m talking majority here…not the minority of “snags.”
I suppose what I am saying here is that, because of these different value systems and upbringing people have in place when they are older, it makes dating even harder as you try to match all of these things up into a cohesive relationship. We are trying to do the impossible sometimes even trying.
When we are older we bring many things to the table…where we are raised, live, values, education, morals, religion, political persuasions, opinions, date of birth…and what was happening at the time…a multitude of differences.
These all make dating and relationships very hard to form into something cohesive and worthwhile…in fact, almost impossible to manoeuvre.

Posted by: istj54 at February 23, 2008 2:09 PM

Sorry re the typos. I meant "so very devastatiing" and "against"

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 23, 2008 1:54 PM

Hi Timewarp,
I'm glad to know you loved your ex dearly despite her sad childhood experiences tainting her view of men for life.
She must have done some nice things occasionally Timewarp, otherwise why would you have stayed with her? (I wasn't quite sure when you spoke about your son [that must have been a terrible time for you and your wife; every parent's worst nightmare] whether you were inferring that it was your wife's smoking that contributed to your son's asthma and whether you were being complimentary or sarcastic about her mothering skills)
It must have been very so devastating to have all those years of love and devotion reduced to a "we had a good thing for a while" when your wife left you. I know how hurt I was when my ex told our daughter that we simply "fell out of love". Makes all that pain and all those shattered hopes and dreams sound so easy and irrelevant doesn't it?

Maisie,
Thank you. Yes I got lots of positives out of my marriage. 4 wonderful young people whom I am very proud of (I am often amazed that I gave birth to them; it is wonderful to know that at least I did something "right" during all those years despite that fact that my ex-husband has never acknowledged my mothering skills to my children or anyone else!) And lots of life-experience. I learned that you can't rely on anyone else for affirmation, that you must affirm yourself. I learned that loving someone as best you can is not always enough; and also that no matter how hard you try you can't "make" someone love you. And to not take that personally. Just to name a few.

Virgil,
There are plenty of die-hard female Crows supporters in Adelaide whose idea of heaven would be to be with another like-minded Crows supporter! I think you may be on the right track going to the football regularly; you're bound to meet one or several dozen. How do you go when the WC play Adelaide? Could be a bit "bloody " if you go for WC agianst Adelaide, though. SANFL well, as long as you don't barrack for Port you should be safe!

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 23, 2008 1:45 PM

Virgil, you don't have to defend your need /want to be a pack follower.
We are all different, and require different things in life to make us feel worthwhile, recognised and validated.
And by the way theres nothing wrong with showing support to a footy team.....
Even if it is a South Australian one..........K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 23, 2008 12:37 PM

Hi all,
I would like to thank those people who have, for taking the time, and having the courage to share your life experiences, feelings and philosophies. I guess that I am not confident enough yet to share much of my own journey. But for me, reading your stories and comments helps me to find a balance in my own life, a reality check in my semi reclusive world.
Yes ……many people here are rebels and leaders, and what is the common thread?
Courage, Humanity, Compassion and the search for that complementary “other”
Best wishes in that search, for it seems to me well deserved.
Go gently people, and be kind to yourselves

Posted by: kianee at February 23, 2008 11:41 AM

PPS: (I really don't want to go; they already have the 9-page detailed illustrated instructions, and they haven't phoned me to hurry up.)

I guess it all comes down to individualism, versus the wimpish temporary conformity of that first Guy Mitchell blue necktie.

I would never buy clothes with the brand on the outside, unless the maker pays me by the hour to advertise his product like a moving billboard.

My status (if any) comes from being me and from what I have accomplished and what I stand for, not from conspicuous consumption - flashing fashionable labels on my clothes, shoes or cars. Hey, that's "Look who fleeced me" territory. Baaa!

Virgil, this is all your fault, for opening up and telling us about your personal ideology. Now I must go and work.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 23, 2008 11:23 AM

PS: I grew up in the bush, an only child for years, and seem never to have caught the pack-seeking neurosis.

Found most of the packs that I looked at to be focussed on supporting the local heroes (football, political etc) against the mob from the next gully, and getting their highs from mob hysteria as idle supporters, rather than as actual contributors to the war effort.

Not for me. My profile says play not watch. Played C-grade rugby and was within 5 yards of the ball all through the game, not watching A-grade on my bum and being lit with reflected glory and/or beer.

Still play tennis myself, 2 nights a week - and watch the pros from any country at all, for clues not idol-worship.

Pop out and organise a petition against something I see as bad, then disappear till voting day.

Saw what carefully-orchestrated mob hysteria did in Nazi Germany and elsewhere before and since, and decided never to be a sheep myself. So there!

And didn't wear my zoot coat and black jeans as an informal organisation's uniform, like Punks, modern Goths and other sartorially rebelling boring clones. Wore them to be as uniquely inyerface as possible.

(And never ever owned a pair of blue jeans to this day - how dull and boring can a nineteenth-century labourer's uniform get?)

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 23, 2008 10:57 AM

Virgil @ 8.44am: Wasn't really fully supporting you against the OG, mate. Sorry.

See him as an example of 1940s-50s uniformity-seeking change-resisting conservatism, and you as the opposite - an example of 1960s-70s change-requiring (and new-uniformity-seeking) radicalism.

Both seeking comfort amongst something far bigger than yourself, where you can join in and be in tune with the rest of the pack (if you're a carnivore) or herd (herbivore.)

You put that so well in your heartfelt story below. Must have taken a lot of guts to be so honest with us, and risk giving garbage like the viper the chance of a free kick at your nuts.

I was trying to show a third way - to embrace change, in the hope of progress and the betterment of all, and especially previous underdogs,
rather than hanging on to everything old, whether or not it's now obsolete, because one of the changes might disempower you personally, by removing one of your current lurks and perks.

And rather than risking throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

Late for work up in my hot uncomfortable workplace in some millionaire's ceiling space. Only way I've found yet to siphon off a share of their goodies. Immediate reward - coffee date at 4pm. Seeyez after that.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 23, 2008 10:22 AM

Timewarp, thank you for defendimg me to OG. I think he first took exception to my description of the "uniform" of blue trousers and white shirt. My interests in music in my teens was a dominating theme, much the same as my following AFL now.

Its amazing what comes up when the right buttons are pushed, as the clothing, music and association with the movement of a generation has always been with me, but not at the forefront of my consciousness.

When I was in school in Broken Hill, I realized, there were more kids, than there had been in previous times. As a teenager, I saw that the commercialisation had not taken hold.
We were able to forge our own ways, unhindered by marketers, and were able to create our own space, music, fashion, thinking.
In the early 1970's my family moved to WA, and I hated it there, but I felt that a lot of my self confidence and self belief had deserted me.

The culture was different in WA, I started going to the Gym, found good steady work, met my wife had children etc, but something inside wasnt working.

I left my good steady government job, to take on a cafe in the country, in the hope that this might revitalize my spirit, as it didnt, I bought a lunch bar in Fremantle.

I suppose I found nothing to revitalaize my soul, till I started regularly attending football games, where I could again identify with a group, and feel the highs and lows of a season, that were not completely about me, my family or my personal finances.

I also became interested in the new age movement, where I saw that my body is not who i am, the part of me that thinks is not who I am, I am the part of me that feels, is connected to the whole.

At this point, I felt unsure which direction to focus my life so, at 43, I went to University full time for the next 4 years.

When my daughter turned 19 and was spending much time working and with her boyfriend, and told me she was moving to Broome, I finally thought that this is now my time of life, time for me.

I packed up, sold my house and moved to Adelaide, by myself, leaving wonderful girlfriend, kids, West Coast Eagles St Pauls Anglican Church at Beaconsfield, all for my new life in Adelaide.

After 4 months here, I thought I needed a girlfriend, so joined RSVP.
I met a few women, not finding anyone remotely like what I want, (by the way, I dont know what I want in a girlfriend, but I will know what it is when I find her) and so thought that maybe I dont really want a girlfriend at the moment.

I do know, I have always felt guilty of not spending enough time with my girlfriends during the football season. The thought of a guilt free season, maybe watching the friday night game, watching West Coast at the Casino, going to AAMI to watch the crows, and to a local SANFL game if I felt like it, with no associated guilt about time and money spent would be wonderful. If only for one year.

Posted by: virgil at February 23, 2008 8:44 AM

SlightSynch: Thank you too for your opiate words.

Economists talk about a "Law of diminishing returns". Put briefly: if you have none, a bit more is marvelous. Once you have some, a bit more is nice. Once you have a heap, getting any more is hardly worth the trouble. Certainly applies to money. Especially when you're really short.

I'm already getting heaps of the free stuff, thanks. At the Dabblers table at the RSL dinner dance last Saturday night I came a bit late as usual. (I'm always busy enough to try to miss the first half hour of chit-chat before we eat.) I sat down on the spare chair beside a newbie that I'd never seen before.

"Hello" I said "I'm Bill" "And you are much loved here" she replied. "I'm Andrea." Wondered what I'd missed ... and enjoyed the afterglow anyway.

So when I'm p o v v o, I don't focus on the free stuff. Marx said "Religion is the opiate of the people" and he was right.

I try avoid distracting myself from my poverty with sunsets (except at sunset), and try to focus on doing what I need to do, to get in more money faster.

Action, not aspirin. Make sense?

Bedtime - gotta be on the road in 7 hours' time. Night night, any night owls.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 23, 2008 2:25 AM

Virgil @ 9.44pm: Mate, you may already be grey and old, but I've still got about 50% that's still brown (just counted), and I only feel old when I'm desperately short of money for the moment. Like today.

Or have been up a ceiling manhole, manouvring my considerable girth around in a hot roofspace for 3/4 of a day, while supervising tradies installing one of my electric chandelier hoists. As I will be tomorrow. (Saturday)

Rest of the time I benefit from my own personal timewarp that keeps me younger than I deserve to be, considering how much I've punished my body since my mid-teens - mainly sleep-deprivation, to fit 8 days' work and fun into as many weeks as possible.

And unlike you, I've tried to focus on the new possibilities, rather than decrying the old injustices, and trying to overturn every single thing, for the sake of youthful hubris disguised as change.

In the early 1960s I ran with the idea of employing the whole man instead of only his hands, and did pioneer work in job enrichment at Golden Circle years ahead of the Swedes, who got the credit for the idea because they published.

I shared income-earning and housework with my wife from the mid-60s.

I welcomed feminism, and in my own business 20 years ago, pioneered having female spare parts interpreters in my industry. Now commonplace.

And I did it all and more because it was a good idea - forward-looking and fair, rather than just to tear up the old or cock a snoot at them. That's just change for chaos' sake, like Mao's cultural revolution.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 23, 2008 1:51 AM

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 22, 2008 2:54 PM

Timewarp1...this will sound like a platitude, but the best things in life are free, they say..a smile, kiss (usually) a child or loved ones laughter, the beauty of nature, a starry sky, a wild sea, the company of friends.....
Was broke from August till now due to Austudy and not being able to survive properly on it. Paying the mortgage and bills but not able to do much else. Now I have two jobs things are looking up finally, in February - so full empathy from me! Wow though you do some travel. Must try that mayonnaise recipe one day!!

Hinterlandlover, hi there, being cautious in your internet dating is sensible and there is nothing wrong with protecting your privacy.
Goodnight everyone.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 23, 2008 1:17 AM

Posted by: aliane at February 22, 2008 12:49 PM

Aliane about your post of being lost, are you thinking too much, in your head? Lots of people say to follow your heart and gut instinct. And of course you pray a lot too. We have to have courage and it can be overwhelming sometimes...it is surely a matter of timing and hopefully we all will meet the right person at the right time. Surely it does not matter what country you are in, you can not avoid your destiny and if you are meant to meet someone, you will meet them. Maybe you have to trust your instincts and I hope I can follow my own advice.
Cheers from SSC

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 23, 2008 1:11 AM

Oldergent: You're a straight shooter on the blogs (although Virgil and I think you sometimes confuse your aim, and let off a bit of friendly fire.)

Hope you're also a straight shooter on the pistol range at Cessnock this weekend. Best of British, old mate.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 23, 2008 1:05 AM

Posted by: aliane at February 22, 2008 11:57 AM

Re: TV, Sleep etc. Well I bent my rule tonight and was listening to Bridget Jones Diary on TV..a favourite movie..while reading things online but then I had to take a phone call, which took up most of the movie time. yes sleep is very important and it is tempting to stay late on the blog. Often I wait until my 18year old has finished as when I come in at night he has been doing his music composition, arranging or whatver on the computer and I don't like to interrupt.

Back to sleep Aliane well yes we need a good sleep to keep the brain alert too and well you could meet "The One" any day so why not have a good sleep the night before!
Sorry that you have had some emotional upheaval causing you to want to leave the country...

WnW yes ABC and SBS do have good shows but I have no TV reception half the time where I live so I don't bother most of the time. Now I have an aversion to watching DVD's alone (strange) and prefer to listen to music or the radio, read, be online in moderation, speak on the phone and in semester time...study. Or sit under my back verandah with the dog - looking at the stars, enjoying the peace and quiet.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 23, 2008 1:02 AM

Virgil, I will have to repy to you later after the weekend, I have a Championship match on at Cessnock this weekend, and Alianne has disrupted my thoughts enough already.
Cheers Robert

Posted by: oldergent at February 23, 2008 12:29 AM

my knowledge of shakespear is very little

Posted by: virgil at February 22, 2008 11:19 PM

Virgil,
how are you with Sheakespeare? I have Alianne on the other site quoting Will to me and she has got me stumped ,without a lot of research, for the sake of male unity and in peace help, please. cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at February 22, 2008 11:04 PM

I was lucky, my number didnt come up, my mate who was listening to the draw with me, was 3 days older, 5th September 1951.

He went to Viet Nam and I didnt because I was born 3 days later.

Where is the morality in that OG?

Posted by: virgil at February 22, 2008 11:02 PM

Virgil,
you can resent the fact that a lot on my relatives and friends ( and me if I was old enough to go),served this Country in time of conflict, sure most of them were not old enough to vote or drink, but these were the people who allow you now the liberty to protest against those that did. As with Canute and the warped one we know that you cannot stop the tide. Enough Virgil, let there be peace amongst the people

Posted by: oldergent at February 22, 2008 10:44 PM

Virg, old mate.
I accept that in your day 99.999% of you played in bands, usually rubber bands, but I have known the blissfullness of conducting a symphony orchestra. I had long hair, mainly because in the Northern Territory, at that time Barbers were scarcer than women, I dispute that it was a rise in global consciouness, it was engendered by the need to be different, you want to be different, drag out your old clobber now and strut down the Church city byways. Virgil I seem to be getting up your nose, but it is not only me that has had to put your musical expertise to question. But in my generation we still had style with no need to be outstanding. It is still the same as far as I am concerned.
Cheers Og

Posted by: oldergent at February 22, 2008 9:46 PM

Timewarp, I sense you would have understood Bob Dylan's "The times they are a changing" and would have agreed, and Oldergent, I sense that you would have felt theatened by that.

It is such a long time ago now, we are old and grey, but I still get angry at the morality of a people who could send their youth off to war, against their wishes, but would not allow them to drink or vote. (At that time you had to be 21 to vote, 20 to drink in SA and 21 to drink in WA).

Posted by: virgil at February 22, 2008 9:44 PM

Timewarp, I found your story very moving, you sound like a very fashion consious bloke for your time, being 20 in the days of the birth of rock n roll. Your wife certainly did it tough, as I suspect many of the women on here, especially the ones in their 50's.
Oldergent, your criticism of people of my generation who chose to grow our hair long, and wear clothes that clearly distinguished us from the geneations past, as all looking the same.

My generation took that comment with pride, getting fashion ideas from our idols, the people in bands, The Twilights, Masters Apprentices, Zoot to name but a few.

It was a conscious choice, as we rejected the music, the clothes, the values, in fact everything about previous generations.

It was a rise in global consciousness, starting with The Beatles, evolving to the Hippie movement, Woodstock etc.

From this time on, the world would never be the same. the start of equality of the sexes, the breakdown of the tyranny of unhappy marriages, as women could work, and support themselves.

I feel the world needed the different "revolutions" that were part of the 60s, and I feel proud that I was part of those pushing the envelope, not one of the reluctant passengers of change.

Posted by: virgil at February 22, 2008 8:56 PM

HLL, sweet dreams, restfull sleep, and wake in the joy of the day to come.
Robert

Posted by: oldergent at February 22, 2008 8:42 PM

Thank you OG. I'm off to bed now as I have a very early start tomorrow. I will sleep more comfortably bearing in mind your flattering comment. And it is better to find out before wasting too much time and effort that the man you have your eyes on is just too self-absorbed and/or illiterate [computer or otherwise] to bother with. I know that I wouldn't be able to have a meaningful relationship with such a person. Goodnight all. I know it's still early, but ...

Posted by: hinterlandlover at February 22, 2008 8:32 PM

Hll. thanks for the pics, this modern generation of men? They have got to be crazy not to respond to a lady like you, pity I have a lady I have my eye on, ( the problem is I have to convince her to have her eye on me. lol)
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at February 22, 2008 8:24 PM

Hll. thanks for the pics, this modern generation of men? They have got to be crazy not to respond to a lady like you, pity I have a lady I have my eye on, ( the problem is I have to convince her to have her eye on me. lol)
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at February 22, 2008 8:24 PM

Off to enthrall/ bore stiff/ lull to sleep a dozen other local poets, when we get to me each time round the circle. Will look in later and see what you've all been up to.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 22, 2008 8:18 PM

P.S. When you spend a stanp, it's no more than 2 coffees or half a packet of smokes. And maybe it will get you your next dearest darling.

And maybe it will show you who's too self-centred or computer-illiterate to be worth bothering about, and that's also a valuable dividend from your small investment.

So don't sweat - just suck it and see, time and again. I've bought about 130 stamps so far in 2 years, and they've got me most of a hundred first dates - and all but a couple were very enjoyable social events, whether anything came of them or not.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 22, 2008 8:12 PM

Hinterlandlover: So my first suggestion was not needed - they get to see enough of you (if they bother to type in the password) before they get the chance to allow you to spend money on them.

But I'd still push my second suggestion - don't ask men of mature years to email you, unless you've seen them in action here on the blogs. It's unnecessary red tape, and your average provincial is even less into that than his city counterpart is.

For safety's sake, I'd go for a weekend daytime meeting, one town away from your nearest, in the opposite direction from your home.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 22, 2008 7:59 PM

Sorry HLL.
seen your response to my more perceptive mate, the warped one, my apoligies.
Robert.

Posted by: oldergent at February 22, 2008 7:58 PM

Thanks guys. Timewarp, I always include my photo password with my first "kiss", so if they reply positively, it implies - well, I know I'm only a girl, and maybe it's not so simple as I thought - but they've seen a number of photos of me, up close and personal, all taken within the last few months! Two of those photos I've taken myself, so they really are "up close and personal", too much so being the vain girl that I probably am, but they speak the truth. So ... I figure that they've seen me warts and all, so to speak, and then responded positively, saying that they were looking forward to receiving my email.

I do not display open photos in my profile for a number of reasons. One is that I work in retail sales here, where the population is not large and I am easily identifiable. I live on my own in a very quiet and peaceful setting which I love, but if some crazy stalker saw my profile, and followed me home from work, I would be a sitting duck, as I have no close neighbours. My choice, I acknowledge, but reality. And I have had an experience in a past profile life on this site with a disgruntled hopeful to whom I foolishly gave my landline number. He pestered me which was more than a bit scary! And as you probably can gather, I am clearly fairly far along the introvert scale, so not "out there" in the way you extroverts are! I would simply not feel comfortable. I might add that I consider myself balanced with a more than average sense of perspective. I am not paranoid, just sensible.

All the best. And thanks for your advice.

Posted by: hinterlandlover at February 22, 2008 7:31 PM

Hinterlandlover: You're a girl, right? Looking for a bloke? Two suggestions:

1) Show at least one photo up front. Women are usually literate, but men are mainly picture-it.

At present. when you send them a kiss, you're a mystery parcel which then costs you a stamp to unwrap for them. They look, don't fancy the internal packaging, and then haven't the good (or is it bad) manners to tell you so.

2) At present, you send them the email and in it, ask them more stuff about themselves.

Hey, that's a written exam, for their typist to sit for them. Lady, that is just too much of a hoop for your average over-60 male. Put you immesiately into Too-hard basket.

I suggest you try this:

1) Show at least one photo where you look quite nice but not threateningly gorgeous.

2) Send kisses, and get back "Yes - email me", only from those who like the look of you. Save money and frustration.

3) If your email is invited, use it only to give your mobile phone number, given name and a wish to meet them for coffee soon.

This makes your email inviting instead of threatening, Your can mount your full inquisition over coffee, in verbal dialogue face to face, not in "stalling" emails which most aging men see as a cross between morse code and naval flag sequences.

Try it - it might work! And good luck. Pity you're out of my range - I like your values.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 22, 2008 7:02 PM

Hi Hll. agree 100% with your post @ 6.13 pm. Checked your profile and only agreed 40% with that, despite the 70% compatibility, but thats life.
cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at February 22, 2008 6:51 PM

On topic, save money on line by not spending money on rsvp stamps! Does this happen to everyone - you send a kiss, receive a positive response within a few hours, so figure that person is keen [whatever that means] so use a stamp and send a short and sweet, polite email suggesting you'd like to know more about them, etc. And wait for a response which never arrives in your inbox! Then wonder if it was something you said in your email, read it over and over ... or do you just let in pass, and figure that person simply wasn't worth the stamp? How long is long enough, when that person has 'signed in' in the last day? Why do people respond positively to kisses if they have no intention of following through? I'd rather simply receive a negative response to a kiss and leave it at that. Need some counselling guys ...

Posted by: hinterlandlover at February 22, 2008 6:13 PM

Timewarp...you go boy!!...you can do it!!!

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 22, 2008 4:31 PM

PixieM: Bless you for your kind heart, and especially for letting byegones be byegones.

Unfortunately, I can't just leave it to the universe. The mills of God grind exceeding small 'tis said, but they take eons.

I have to get off my great cushion and turn on the giant vacuum cleaner that sucks the gold dust from near and far, and wave it round a bit. Now.

And after your totally unexpected and most welcome encouragement, I reckon I can do just that. Right now.

Thank you again for being the operative piece of my supportive universe at this moment of need, PixieMagic. May the universe bring you joy too, and soon!

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 22, 2008 4:09 PM

Hey Timewarp...dont be down...money is only money...trust in the Universe...it will all work out.

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 22, 2008 3:35 PM

oldergent: I should be working, but I'm so short of money I'm feeling really down, and hiding from real life here for a few hours.

My first suit was a navy-blue hand-me-down. My uncle killed in WW2 had worn it double-breasted, my cousin Big Huey wore it single-breasted, then I wore it double-breasted again for high-school formals and till 3rd-year uni.

Then mum bought me a charcoal-grey single-breasted suit like those worn by high-school kids at less-liberated-dressing GPS schools than Churchie. I think it was to try to wean me off the zoot coat.

I wore it to my brother's wedding in my early 30s, then grew out of it and into another dead uncle's suit. After 20 years I'd grown out of that, so rented one to give my daughter away in 1994.

Now wear a $400 squatocracy donegal tweed sports coat (from Vinnies) instead, if I ever have to dress up.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 22, 2008 2:54 PM

Warped.
I wore that outfit ( Black short shorts) in China as the epitomy of an honourable Australian Gentleman being well dressed, it drew no end of attention (and I surmise jealously) the locals all wore Jeans an T's, that is except for some of the most beautifull, elegantly dressed and coiffed women you would want to see anywhere in the world. Surprisingly they were of the more mature woman.

Posted by: oldergent at February 22, 2008 2:26 PM

Geeting and Salutations Warped one.
The T was the singlet worn without a shirt for us GPS lads in Sydney, I was not into the Zoot, the Alma Mater, did teach sartorial elegance, along with manners,and mainly in my case sports. I do have very fond memories of the first suit I bought for myself, a Double Breasted creation in Duck Egg blue, slightly belled bottoms with a two inch cuff and a 4 button waist band. The tailor said I was too short for a 6 button ( hey blueeyes that might be what has made me sensitive about being vertically challenged, lol). The coat lapels were 1/2 inch wider than the norm. Normal for those days an Arrow Archer white body fit shirt, with a pure silk dark blue and white tie and matching coat pocket kerchief, black hose naturally, with black Brogues. Having been on the boxing team not too much comment was made to my face, except mum, nothing scared her (except frogs) I was never game to tell her how much it cost, but I knew the secret to getting a good discount. Yair the rest of the gear was norm, but I still had an affection for the Bombay Bloomers and old rugger jumpers. In our area their is no way any of us lads would have worn a yellow tie bright or not, that was the membership badge of a lot of unsavoury dirty old men, Also I found out later in a lot of areas, Hamilton in Newcastle, for instance they stopped that smartly when the Police started busting them. I dont consider what happened to your friend as bad as this lot with their language /behavior control. I wonder how many practitioners of it have stopped and asked themselves, where does it come from and who is behind it?
Cheers

Posted by: oldergent at February 22, 2008 2:15 PM

PS: I still don't always dress to conform. Keep out of long pants and shiny shoes except to dance, go to funerals or keep warm on the 6 or 8 cold days each winter.

Prefer now-obsolete business shorts with undercarriage-ventilating short 6-inch legs, and add similarly-obsolete long golf socks at mid-season, to keep my calves warm.

Once threatened to wear the above last year to a 6pm weekday suburban dinner first date way across town, on my way home from an even further-away afternoon client visit, but my fashionista would-be date pulled the plug:

"I haven't seen anyone dressed like that since the 70s, and I wouldn't be seen dating one, especially in my own suburb!"

Another wrinklie first date criticised me for wearing shorts and sandals to our outdoor midday riverside first date. Then she got back on her bike, and pedalled off with her nose in the air, as well as her broad acre.

I'm on offer as a joy-boosting emotional partner and lover, not a fashion accessory to help out-dress the competition.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 22, 2008 2:02 PM

Oldergent @ 10.19am: It was exactly our agegroup of teens that started dressing differently from our elders, in Brisbane anyway.

My mother had me in newfangled teeshirts in the weekend at 15 (no ironing) and then I had the regulation Guy Mitchell Blue necktie in 1966. Passed on the Presley Purple one, 3 months later. Wrong colour for blonde surfies.

In 1957 I broke away from local timid teen fashion and conned my Sydney Grannie into paying for a zoot coat straight from the UK.

Ridiculous for subtropical Brisbane - bright dark green prickly carpet material that fell in a dead straight taper from enormous padded shoulders to hobbling-tight at the knees.

My mother was aghast, and while I slept she hacked most of a foot off the hem. Up to mid-thigh.

With a crew cut and black denim jeans over black moccasins I looked unusual, to say the least. My uni mates thought they were the coolest of the cool, but were chicken to walk down Queen St with me at shop-closing time.

Every passing uniformity-enforcing middle-aged fist clenched as I approached, but I was 12 stone, played serious squash and rugby and worked out at the gym, so they reluctantly left me be.

About then, Rodney Hall, a short, slim office worker my age, was taken by the scruff of the neck as he got off the tram in the City, and told that neckties were navy blue or maroon, not bright yellow, and wearing that one tomorrow would lose him teeth.

I think the current political-correctness posse is a lesser evil than those previous fashion-enforcing vigilantes, because now they only try to emasculate your language, not your personal visual image.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 22, 2008 1:33 PM

slightsync - yes there isn't much on free-to-air TV.... some good shows on ABC and SBS (missed SpicksnSpecks twice this week, damn). There are some good show on Fox sometimes or there are always movies .... great escapism.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 22, 2008 12:09 PM

Weta, do not be alarmed.....that was just a hello kiss to say we share similar taste in music.

SSC

No offence to anyone, but my life has taken a turn for the better since I have reduced my TV viewing hours drastically. Partly due to uni commitments, reception trouble but when I am online....I make a point not to turn on the TV that day which reduces the sitting around time. Its just not healthy for ME to be emailing, reading the blogs, trying to post...then watching a few hours of TV on top of it. I have gained quite a few hours of time by (almost) giving up TV. If I get Foxtel, I doubt if I would be able to resist the UK TV channel however. Adelaide has an Indian cultural festival on in a park on Sunday. If I went, it would be out of curiosity and I do not go out of my house hoping to meet someone. In fact I am not looking but trying to just live my life in the moment and not focus on "if I meet Mr Right...then I will be happy" (in the future). I am complete now and not needy. Eckardt Tolle writes about this.

I did run into a nice guy yesterday on the bus, by serendipity... a bus I have never caught before.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 22, 2008 11:06 AM

Maisie @ 9.08am: Thank you.

Her size-6 chainsmoking mother was married to a before-his-time SNAG who had been an effective featherweight boxer, but also played piano.

He believed that piano-playing was only permissable if you were either gay or a drunk, and chose the latter. Came home drunk from bowls club every night and picked on his shapeless, unathletic and soon size 14 only daughter, if she was visible.

So her mother kept her away from the kitchen before dinner time. (Cooking it started whenever he drove in under the house.)

From her family my Ex learned that men are 2nd-class human beings, useful only for procreation, and then earning the groceries while you are temporarily out of the workforce, till your kids are at school and you can go back to teaching. Otherwise a nuisance and an embarrassment.

I adored her as a wild free thing, and thought if I was loving enough, she'd not fly out of the open cage door. Which she didn't till the 3rd (much later) child finished high school, and I looked like going broke in the 1992 recession. Then took her half and that child, and bolted after 28 years of marriage.

All very explicable in hindsight. Especially what I did wrong - doing more than my share of the domestic duties, instead of putting my foot down and saying "Listen woman!"

Whenever I occasionally was so far out of my tree that I did that, she was delighted with me, and all over me for a change.

I just wasn't often enough equal to coping with chronic exhaustion from my killing workload, plus summoning the emotional power to keep her down, where she secretly yearned to be kept.

"We had a good thing going, for a while" she told that daughter, who'd just had a spack attack the day they were leaving, when she was told to photograph us smiling at the camera, arm in arm "to celebrate all the good times."

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 22, 2008 10:56 AM

Way back in this blog there was a bit of a discussion on what to call the interaction in wanting to meet someone and continue the association. Back in my day that person was called a "companion". In my profile I asked for someone to walk with me, maybe I should have asked for a "companion to walk with me" , the equality of the association is implicit.

Virgil please do not think I am picking on you, but you are right about the uniform of my day, then we were not so conscious of the need to be different. However to your day, memory serves me to remember that you so called individuals all looked like clones, outlandish hair and clothes, shoes that are laughable today. You used the self same statement my 17 year old grandson used the other day, Look at the youth of today. Clones again, it seems to me that all the human race is sliding into is a place I would not like to be in.
Cheers OG
ps, lynath you are a genius, my blood pressure is down 30 points.

Posted by: oldergent at February 22, 2008 10:19 AM

My band played just a few times, practised many times, there were power struggles, as the bass player was older, had more money a better car, so became the "leader". myself and the drummer were very good mates and would spend hours playing a bit of heavy stuff, the bass player wouldnt allow for the band.
When I think back to those times, I feel I was pretty much a doormat for many people.

woodnwine - I have never seen borat, the sight of James Brayshaw prancing around on the footy show in his man kini, didnt fill me with enthusism to wnat to see borat. It was more a comment on my times, and think this is possibly the best time in my life.
I am living where I want to live, I didnt have to explain to anyone why I spent so Much on football tickets memberships and gear, I know its OK if I was to want to watch the game on TV tonight, even possibly going to the casino to see it, watch something tomorrow, then head off to AAMI stadium Sunday afternoon to watch the Crows beat Fremantle.

This is I suppose a temporary phase, and maybe soon I will be looking for the new "love of my life", but I have learned not to try and push things, they will happen in their own good time, and the woman of my dreams will appear at exactly the right time.

Posted by: virgil at February 22, 2008 9:35 AM

My mum stayed with my dad through a lot of agonising years too, amberlight, because of what she perceived as financial necessity. I'm so grateful that that is not my life.
Thanks for sharing your story about your marriage. I can well imagine how it came about from what you said. I hope something positive came out of it ultimately for you.
On my mum's wedding day she apparently looked at my dad and thought "oh, my God - what have I done?" and regretted it. It took her 37 years to get out of it!

GTTC - loved those "pearls of
wisdom"!

timewarp, the things you said about your wife and marriage were truly moving for me to read. Probably because of what I have written above, I don't have very positive feelings towards "marriage" (I've never bothered myself), and it's genuinely lovely to hear of a good one. That it ended was sad for you, but it sounds like a real "true love".

Posted by: malsie at February 22, 2008 9:08 AM

Virgil your post of 21/2 10.39.pm.

What was I dong (sic) when the Hollies sang "He aint heavy, he's my Brother" of course in those days maybe you were donged, it would have been interesting to hear your band then and the choice of music, Try the great BG's

Posted by: oldergent at February 22, 2008 8:50 AM

"yesterday, all my toubles seemed so far away, how I long for yesterday"

NOT

Posted by: virgil at February 21, 2008 10:23 PM

Virgil .... have you been watching Borat again?

Posted by: woodnwine at February 22, 2008 8:27 AM

P.S: I took out the garbage and killed the excess puppies (My least favourite job, ever since it first fell to me on my parents' farm at eight - cruel to blood a child at such a young age, I thought at the time ...)

I supermarketed each week, because she complained that if she did, everyone she knew would always be there and bail her up and keep her talking for half a day when she had things to do at home.

Once the first 2 kids were at school and she'd gone back to teaching 4 days a week and then also back to Uni at night to upgrade from one-year-trained to 4-year, I also took over the laundry, and still did all the gardening and mowing, on top of my 70-hour-a-week executive job.

And if you really need to know the full intimate details, A L 58, whoever madeany visible skid marks gave the 'loo a once-over while attending to them. And she occasionally did it thoroughly all over.

But I cleaned the vanity and shower recess, because they yucked me before they yucked her. And our favourite toilet paper colour is a secret, even from you, '58.

Bedtime for me too. Night night, any nightowls.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 22, 2008 1:46 AM

Amberlight58 @ bed-time:

What could my Ex. do that I couldn't?

At 19 she could smoke 40 Kents a day, and drink half a bottle of sweet sherry before the party even started.

She could make my heart leap whenever her mate phoned me to say she was back in town, and I was invited to the usual big party in her honour, starting that night.

She could pour her beer over her previous boyfriend's head at a party when he bored her once too often, making me think from the other side of the room: "Is that my chance?" (It was.)

She could tell me "You don't want to be chasing after me, Bill. I want to have 6 children and I'll be the best mother in the world, but a really lousy wife."

She could make me laugh, make me love her blindly/regardless, and make me want to see her beloved face across the kitchen table every morning of the year - for ever I believed.

And without doing anything but being, she could make it agony to keep away from her naughty bits - two reasons that added up to enough motivation for me to propose when I was 27 and she was 21.

And when our son died at 18 of passive-smoking asthma, she could cause the kindergarten teacher to tell our GP "Best little mother I've seen in 25 years."

That enough for you, '58? 15 years after she walked out, and now after a hundred RSVP dates in the last 2 years, I'm still finding she's a very hard act to follow.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 22, 2008 1:22 AM

Time for bed, I'm too old to stay up all night, the eyes look too wrinkly and puffy in the morning!
Cheers All

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 22, 2008 12:39 AM

Well then Timewarp, what could she do that you couldn't? And who cleaned the toilet?

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 22, 2008 12:31 AM

Co-dependence was my mother's pet hate. Said she saw so many marriages with no other reason than each couldn't do what the other could.

So she resolved to equip me to marry for love. Taught me to cook, hand and machine sew and most importantly, to darn. So what did I do? Fell in love with someone who couldn't cook, sew or darn.

But while still up the bush teaching during our engagement of a year and a day, she did learn to sew, and made me an old-fashioned long nightshirt for our first winter together, which I saw as a good omen.

And I taught her to cook, to give me every second night off.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 22, 2008 12:27 AM

I enjoyed that GTTC! And so true!!

I understand what you mean now Virgil, the only trouble with us and even more so those a few years older than us, is how can our kids rebel? Become more conservative? (which I actually think they may be)
Was your band any good?

I agree Maisie, I think my parents only stayed together for so long because my mother couldn't get a bank loan, and the single parents' pension didn't happen until around 1973. As soon as divorce became 'no fault' my parents split up.

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 22, 2008 12:23 AM

Talk about co-dependence. I got married when I was 25 and my ex was 28. Nearly all of the people we knew were married by my age, so my ex was in a hurry to get married and have children and be like all his friends, I guess. I don't think he ever gave a thought if he was actually ready for marriage and being a dad, or to the person he was marrying or what kind of marriage or family he would have in the future, I honestly think he just wanted to be like his friends. We lived in a small country town and I think the pressure to be married early was much greater back then. I hadn't lived there very long when I met him and there weren't lots of guys around (yeah, I know!!) I wasn't all that keen on getting married (my parents had the most awful marriage: alcohol, violence, psychological warfare) but I didn't have a huge self-esteem and despite my mother's dire predictions, someone actually wanted to marry me and I was damn well going to do a better job of it than my perents had (NF's lack of self-esteem /respect thing!) so we got married....

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 22, 2008 12:09 AM

Just for a change;

15 THINGS THAT TOOK ME YEARS TO LEARN

1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race
has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word
would be "meetings".
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
want you to share yours with them.
5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its
glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His
messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
7. No matter what happens ... somebody will find a way to take it too
seriously.
8. When trouble arises & things look bad, there is always one
individual who perceives a solution & is willing to take command. Very
often, that person is crazy.
9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
10. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice
person.
11. Never lick a steak knife.
12. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
13. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down
inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
from her at that moment.
15. Your friends love you anyway.

Posted by: greattimestocome at February 22, 2008 12:03 AM

Today, I think I would pleased and proud to stand out as different to the older generation, in which all shirts were white, all trousers were navy blue, and it was our generation that said we were different. We were not slavishly following the mores and customs of our parents generation.
Something different is different from the staid and conservative dress, and music of my parents generation.

Posted by: virgil at February 21, 2008 11:57 PM

I'm sure Shirley would have sung it with more "guts" to it, amberlight. The Vicki Carr version was somewhat insipid, like the whole premise of the song - and yes, Stand By Your Man another classic!!
Sure, it was generally a more
co-dependent era, I do agree, Virgil (not that there aren't relationships like that nowadays too), but particularly prevalent then. Perhaps women being less financially independent had some part to play in that - it's one thing to look to another to fulfil every emotional need (for male or female), but when you needed a man for financial reasons, puts a whole new slant on things. Off to bed for me - night all.

Posted by: malsie at February 21, 2008 11:55 PM

Lucky you Virgil, I NEVER had that problem!
So why would you be proud, pleased or something different? (What is "something different"?) A revival perhaps?

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 21, 2008 11:47 PM

We were all so co-dependent in those days, had to be married, had to have a partner, or else we were strange.

And strange was a bad thing in those days.

Posted by: virgil at February 21, 2008 11:47 PM

Maybe living in England was different to living here, but to equate marrage as being free, seems a long bow to draw.
Prior to getting married, I had plenty of money, my time was lagely my own, without too many responsibilities, to then work long hours to pay mortgages, and bring up kids, doesn't sound much like free, although I wouldnt change it.

Posted by: virgil at February 21, 2008 11:43 PM

Maisie,
I'm sure you are right, I probably only remember the Shirley Bassey version. Yes, all those songs about not being able to cope without a man by your side. "Stand By Your Man", "Baby Love", "Stop! In The Name of Love", just to name a few.

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 21, 2008 11:42 PM

TheLynathDiary: I have tonight seen over half a week's sample of your work, and what I said to oldergent last week about you doesn't half do you justice. Excellence distilled!

And thanks for the next batch of computer tips. All I've done was five afternoons at U3A under a smartb** geek who was teaching to the top 2 females in the class, and purposely putting the rest of us down, to feed his ego.

That was 3 months before I had a computer at home, to practice on at my characteristic tortoise pace, so I left in disgust. So thank you from me too.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 21, 2008 11:32 PM

What about The Supremes "Love Child"?
Thank goodness society has changed so that children are not seen as born bad just because their parents aren't married!

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 21, 2008 11:32 PM

amberlight, maybe Shirley did a version, but my sister has just informed me actually Vicki Carr sang it - adding that Dusty Springfield had a fair few in that genre as well! Maybe the era?

Posted by: malsie at February 21, 2008 11:29 PM

ahh aberlight, I almost wish I could, they were the days I couldnt get my weight above 8 stone, no matter what I ate

Posted by: virgil at February 21, 2008 11:28 PM

yes Oldergent, the Hollies

Too young to be married,
too young to be free
but what could they do?
they were going to have a baby

hmmm
wonder what we make of that reasoning today?

Posted by: virgil at February 21, 2008 11:26 PM

Okay. So now you can tell us why you would be proud, pleased or ?"something different"?
Could it be that you could still actually fit into them?

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 21, 2008 11:22 PM

Banks in those days were very conservative, and the management used to think that emplyees were their representatives even on their time off.

Posted by: virgil at February 21, 2008 11:20 PM

WishfulThinker03: No. Rider's no Adonis. Far more pumped, especially in 3D at the Melbloggers meet. Think Mr Universe finalist. You can actually see where every single exercise hour went.

And what's this about Marcus?

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 21, 2008 11:19 PM

Shirts modelled on what the beatles wore on Sgt Peppers and stipey pants white orange and green (wide stripes)

Posted by: virgil at February 21, 2008 11:18 PM

Here's a line from a song that l have loved for many years, Desperado. By The Eagles....
"Your prison is walking through this world all alone".......
very appropriate for this site yes???.......K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 21, 2008 11:18 PM

Virgil, Why embarrassed?
Did your band dress like Skyhooks?

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 21, 2008 11:13 PM

Virgil, the Hollies?

Posted by: oldergent at February 21, 2008 11:11 PM

WnW: You sure the naughty fish is just himself, and not 10-on-the-floor (as low as you can go) as well? That would explain why his insults are so much classier, and take up so much less of his time, in amongst all the totally-enjoyable entertaining and interesting stuff. But are his good-looking photos and chopper real?

And that still tells me (and others who joined up since the invisible insulter(s) started morphing) nothing about 10-on-the-floor.

The tail of Abdul's shirt has just been unmasked as one Marcus-with-his-hands-not-on-the-desk, aka LaughsandTalks.

So is he all the other 9-on-the-floor too? Same vocabulary and style of insult etc, but that's only circumstantial evidence - my Ex once had to write for Uni a given paragraph in the style of Hemingway, then Steinbeck, etc ...

And what about Fotoman and Earl?

Please, someone else who knows something else, do a Lynath and some more exposing. Pretty please?

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 21, 2008 11:09 PM

Hellooo All!!

On topic - The way to save money online is to NOT go online!
Now that thats out of the way...

I don't understand why I would wet myself over R.S. Viper not being able to go on outings... Is there some sort of contagion that cause loss of bladder control?

GTTC

Posted by: greattimestocome at February 21, 2008 11:09 PM

In 1969 I played in a band in Broken Hill, and worked in Which Bank, well a couple of the guys had been out at a sub branch, and offered to pick up my drycleaning. The returned after the bank had closed, so felt it was appropriate to open the parcel and hold my drycleaned clothes up for general exhibition, needless to say, I was severely embarrassed, today i think I would have been proud, pleased or something different.

Posted by: virgil at February 21, 2008 11:02 PM

timewarp, a shame about elderly exercise. I was pondering whether I should define a pull-down, crunch, sit-up, etc.

I did do some research at my local gym, I asked about a membership but had some trouble being understood.

They were running an aqua-aerobics session so I turned up at the gym promptly at 7PM, guess what not a single person was wearing blue, I was the only one.

Then I asked about whether the pool was included, guess what, they said yes but when I checked out the complex there was not a single pool table to be seen.

I know that boxing is a great aerobic exercise so I also asked about this, they told me the hours this was on. So I went to meet at the wet area, guess what not one person was sparring. Just a stupid machine blowing bubbles, great help.

Well, the final straw was the step class, they told me it was well attended and very demanding. Again I presented, found the only available step in the gym then waited, and waited and waited.... alone. No surprise really, how much instruction do you need about how to use a step. Why they book a 45 minute class for something that takes 30 seconds baffles me.

I am going to try elsewehere now. My advice is save your money.

Posted by: willow1059 at February 21, 2008 10:59 PM

Olivia just stabbed her man by the Banks Of The Old Ohio

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 21, 2008 10:57 PM

No Maisie, that was Shirley Bassey. She also liked her man to be a Big Spender

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 21, 2008 10:56 PM

Did he wear a medallion and a mullet with that?

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 21, 2008 10:54 PM

Co-dependent songs, Virgil - yes, weren't there plenty of them? The one that struck me the most as being that way was "It Must Be Him" (was it Olivia Newton-John?) - keeps rushing to phone convinced it's "him" and when it's not "again I DIE".... heavens, woman, get a grip....

Posted by: malsie at February 21, 2008 10:54 PM

But then look what Sherbet (did I spell that right?), Skyhooks and Queen used to wear!

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 21, 2008 10:47 PM

virgil, I'm with you I could not have possibly worn a white crochured suit, purple perhaps.

No I'm not gay, happy perhaps or is that gay. Probably gay at the time as this is what gay meant back then or was that the 50's.

Posted by: willow1059 at February 21, 2008 10:45 PM

glad you enjoy the read wishful. I enjoyed writing it.
Ninaschen, sorry to dash your hopes like that....I would hate to destroy Marcus's near death prude fantasy..

Posted by: thelynathdiary at February 21, 2008 10:44 PM

great story Willow

Posted by: virgil at February 21, 2008 10:43 PM

Elderly Exercise has ceased forever. I might have known.

I warned in this blog at midday today that I'd be back into that one tonight, and I guess RSVP didn't want me to have a chance to respond to the heated name-calling which erupted from her-who-I-am-not-ever-to-name-again, at 3.07pm on Mon 18th.

I have re-read my remarks written in the small hours of Sunday night that caused that outburst, and very-much-milder later responses from FP and TLD.

Yes - I'm afraid my comments were too outspoken. Oldergent and 10-on-the-floor claim it's the red cordial that switches off their auto-censors. With me it's still being writing, too many hours after midnight.

I was fed up with the ongoing storm in an A-cup, and hoped a fairly robust post from me might stop it. Looking back, my overkill seems to have worked.

But I feel that the 4-letter non-word may also have been a little too strong in her expose of my many faults. All of which I shall try to remedy or at least lessen, in the hope of becoming less contemptible in the future.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 21, 2008 10:42 PM

When I listen to old songs, often they transport me to a different time,ahh what was I dong when the Hollies sang He aint heavy, he's my brother ' I had a mate, he had used all his pay, and bought a see thru white crochured suit, and no, he wasnt gay.
Adelaide 1969, He did so well with the girls with that gear, I would have been way too embarrassed to wear such a thing.

Posted by: virgil at February 21, 2008 10:39 PM

Virgil ...happy thoughts....

What can make me feel this way? My guy/girl......

My love..

Sweetheart

My best friend....

Posted by: thelynathdiary at February 21, 2008 10:37 PM

I asked my 19 year old and it seems even teenagers have not yet invented a different way of describing their relationships. Boyfriend/girlfriend or partner for more long-term relationships seems to be the go.

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 21, 2008 10:32 PM

This may help put this discussion of chemistry, physics and sizzle factor in context. We may need to add another term, shall we call it fizzle factor.

Don't Tease LITTLE Old Ladies

Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:
I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and
told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now!'

Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?

Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, 'April Fool!' And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.

Posted by: willow1059 at February 21, 2008 10:30 PM

Now my post doesn't make sense anymore!

I was referring to Lynath's post: "picklesister kaz virgil your posts jumped in and as happens appeared to make my love note directed at Marcus appear a bit creepy......no... really.... I don't want any of you to talk dirty on my account........".

I enjoy your humour, Lynath.

Posted by: ninaschen at February 21, 2008 10:29 PM

Kelvin??? were you referring to me Willow?? surely not young man because if you are its time to look at my profile and see that its Kaz pet.........K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 21, 2008 10:28 PM

pickle you are way ahead of a simple willow with prostitution.

Does this cost money?

Could it be that your mind is more evil than mine, perhaps it may be safer with sticking to just HOT beause kaz says this is cool to do so. Or is that warm?

Shall we use Centigrade, Farenheight or degres Kelvin to measure the hotness of a potential partner.

Posted by: willow1059 at February 21, 2008 10:24 PM

"yesterday, all my toubles seemed so far away, how I long for yesterday"

NOT

Posted by: virgil at February 21, 2008 10:23 PM

I agree Virgil, boyfriend/girlfriend sounds like 15 year olds and "partner" is a little heavy in the first days of a relationship. I work in a hospital and almost all couples are described as "partners" these days because no one sure if people are actually married or not. I have seen people describe their partner as a "life partner" which is a nice description. In the beginning of a relationship "friend" seems to be the way to go these days

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 21, 2008 10:22 PM

And here we were thinking you were being a little risque, Lynath. Damn. The possibility of another juicy blog rumour hits the dust!

Posted by: ninaschen at February 21, 2008 10:21 PM

the old songs when co-dependence was just a sparkle in a writers eye.

When Nilsen sang "I cant live, if living is without you" and so many more I cant recall just now

Posted by: virgil at February 21, 2008 10:19 PM

Virgil..Chemistry works so long as we leave the mixing of "gases" out of it - I'm all for mixing of solids and liquids :) I do like Pickle's SIZZLE factor...that has a certain appeal. Might use that one, if you dont mind Pickle???

Lynath...your posts just make me laugh so hard....lovely one earlier this evening - glad to see things don't bother you - makes yours a great read!!!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at February 21, 2008 10:19 PM

How to put the word "HOT" in a sentence, and make it not sound young and American......

Well l like this one.

He is soooo HOT.

OR what about this...
HOT as.....

Well l don't think they sound American, young maybe....

Now Jack Johnson...he is HOT.... how about that guys...... Is that a sentence?????..........K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 21, 2008 10:19 PM

Virgil in answer to your question I know that lots of people despise the word partner for a romantic interest.
Look to old songs and poems old stories and films for more romantic alternatives.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at February 21, 2008 10:15 PM

Hot is good

I have the hots for .....
I like it although it sounds a bit young and american maybe.

You are on the right track Willow

Posted by: virgil at February 21, 2008 10:13 PM

Oi there Willow...... l may have not liked Physics but l know HOT when l see it.....BTW l don't like being called aunty, Kaz will do.....

And Picklesis. l promise no more extra full stops at the end of sentences......
Oh no, l can't do it its a bad habit l have.....oopps another one.....oopps............K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 21, 2008 10:12 PM

virgil 9:45 I often wonder if there is a better word, something that denotes a higher sense of awareness of the other, a racing pulse, running off at the mouth(babbling incoherently) an overall good feeling, Brightened up the day, and we call this chemistry?surely there is a better word.

How about just a simple your "Hot". But that requires physics, a subject aunty has trouble with.

The only thing left I can quickly think of is Spirituality.

Posted by: willow1059 at February 21, 2008 10:06 PM

willow - i dont think it would be called a "relationship" then..more like prostitution??

Posted by: picklessister at February 21, 2008 10:05 PM

picklesister kaz virgil your posts jumped in and as happens appeared to make my love note directed at Marcus appear a bit creepy......no... really.... I don't want any of you to talk dirty on my account.........

Posted by: thelynathdiary at February 21, 2008 10:05 PM

K - i think it was more an issue where the spacings were in the sentance..not so much foot in mouth..the extra pause caused the mind to wander a little and embellish :)

Posted by: picklessister at February 21, 2008 10:04 PM

pickle 9:53 "auntykaz..not sure that relationships..chemistry and sucking should all be in the same sentance ;)"

How about when there is no chemistry then relationships suck!

Posted by: willow1059 at February 21, 2008 10:02 PM

Well how about l hated Physics at high school but was good at Chemistry, picklesister.....l also was great at English, and Politics, but clearly failed in the foot in mouth classes......Or was that a pass????...OOOOOPS now l don't know.............K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 21, 2008 10:02 PM

oh yes we do virgil..it is implicit....

Posted by: thelynathdiary at February 21, 2008 9:58 PM

Relationships

Dont we have a relationship with every person we come into contact with?

A relationship exists between an employer and employee, between a parent and child, between an uncle and nephew/niece, between shopkeeper and customer.

A friendship is a relationship of sorts.

Surely there must be a better term for boyfriend/girlfriend, and partner doesnt really do it as partners exist in law/accountacy firms and in many other business undertakings.

In the old days, couples were in a marraige, that was special, relationship can be anything, and are not unique

Posted by: virgil at February 21, 2008 9:57 PM

I love it when you talk dirty....

play something for me?

Posted by: thelynathdiary at February 21, 2008 9:55 PM

auntykaz..not sure that relationships..chemistry and sucking should all be in the same sentance ;)

Posted by: picklessister at February 21, 2008 9:53 PM

Chemistry...lets replace that with Attraction then Virgil.....
Followed by Relationships...lets rename that too...how about Intermingling...or Interfacing.......Ah Chemistry......didn't mind doing Chemistry at high school but absolutely sucked at Physics...........K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 21, 2008 9:52 PM

virgil..yeah i am not keen on the word chemistry..i call it the SIZZLE factor ...each to their own maybe...

Posted by: picklessister at February 21, 2008 9:52 PM

Chemistry and Relationships

Surely there are better words to describe these things?

Chemistry is mixing solids, gases, liquids together, possibly in the old days, preparing remedies for the sick (a chemist).

I use the word, but I often wonder if there is a better word, something that denotes a higher sense of awareness of the other, a racing pulse, running off at the mouth(babbling incoherently) an overall good feeling, Brightened up the day, and we call this chemistry?surely there is a better word.

Posted by: virgil at February 21, 2008 9:45 PM

Lynath, the bifocals will align everything and so the malign will disappear...... did that make sense???............K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 21, 2008 9:41 PM

Cheers to you Ninaschen!

Posted by: thelynathdiary at February 21, 2008 9:19 PM

Brilliant, Lynath! You've still got it. I am raising a glass to your health! And thank you for outing rs viper. The penny drops.

Posted by: ninaschen at February 21, 2008 8:59 PM

Hahaha Rider...that's soooo good, I'll have to cut and paste that one for later :)

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at February 21, 2008 8:25 PM

Very amusing rider.........but be careful or you will be subjected to the venom of the blog cut and paste police aka rsviper

Posted by: jenjen57 at February 21, 2008 7:07 PM

Hi all. Just looked at this after 2/3 of a head-down hard-work week, incl working all Tuesday night, from 9.30am Tue to 5.30pm Wed, to meet a deadline.

TLD did not deserve that nastiness, and I'm glad she had some decent immediate support.

VIRGIL @ 10.40am today: I exactly agree, and couldn't have expressed it as well, or as concisely.

WnW @ 10.53: I disagree.

I believe that if you love to be with the person, no matter what you're doing together, from dozing upwards, AND if you're both happy to be sexually involved together, AND almost as often as the other needs, then the best duets you can manage together are very nice, thank you my dearest darling.

That's relatively speaking, of course, which I believe is what matters, even if the results aren't threatening to the stability of the earth's orbit - something which is not easy to manage time after time, year after year.

RIDERS: How could anyone complain about such good fun, especially when encapsulating such genuine truths? Saw it before, and loved it again today.

ALPHA BET KENNY: Hi mate. Nice to see you posting frequently now.

SPEED DATING: Been there, did that, and was VERY positively surprised.

Told yezall a month or two ago - probably in a post so long and boring that you all fast-forwarded across it.

I went for free, because the mate organising it was short of a man. Girls in separate alcoves in a pub, for more privacy.

Bell for him to move to next alcove and talk, then one for her to talk.

Twelve of each sex. Having a drink beforehand and observing the assembled talent from across the room, I'd thought about 3 might pass muster.

Once I'd met them, there were 8 I'd have liked to see again, and 2 out of my first 3 choices were not included.

So I say: go for it. Especially if you're a man that looks at externals first.
But someone was right -a bit of a challenge for shy introverts.

That was my brunch break. Will look later on at the exercise blog, where I may perhaps have got a bit too fair dinkum, late on Sunday night.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 21, 2008 12:54 PM

Good points virgil except I could not agree with your comment:
"I would rather be with someone where the sex was ordinary, or infrequent, but I just loved being with that person." I firmly believe for a relationship to be great you need it all (or at least most of it) ... lust, intimacy, love, sex, passion, trust, friendship ... take some of the important parts out and it just doesn't work properly.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 21, 2008 10:53 AM

I agree completely woodnwine, to meet someone just to have sex with and to not have a relationship with is not what I want.

The sex act takes but a short time, measured in minutes, so I want someone who I am happy to spend days with, weeks, months years.

Once sex starts to happen, well for me at least, there is a certain responsibility to that person, for one thing I wouldnt have sex with someone else at the same time, secondly, there is a time committment.

I would rather be with someone where the sex was ordinary, or infrequent, but I just loved being with that person.

Again I dont know if this is the same for many people, but I have found that in a relationship, the frequency of sex after the initial few months seems become less and less.

So, for me, a partner chosen purely on the basis of sexual attraction would lead me to be mostly unhappy for most of the time.

However a partner chosen because you liked being with that person, where their decisions they made on many issues matched decisions I would make, this leads to a happy time, and then if the sex was great, and frequent, this would be a bonus.

Posted by: virgil at February 21, 2008 10:40 AM

I will surely have to qualify that last comment but I think I'll wait and see what responses I get first.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 21, 2008 9:34 AM

Wow ... so many preconceptions, particularly about sexual intent. Surely people go to speed dating events just to meet and have fun, I would have thought .... but haven't tried it myself. At the risk of maybe sounding boring (in comparrison to some studs on here) I am not on RSVP to increase the number of notches on by bedpost ... I'm here to meet fun and interesting people and hopefully one of them will be someone I will go on to have a relationship with. Sex just for it's own sake is usually not very satisfying.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 21, 2008 9:33 AM

Hi Laughsetc,
am having a read of late night blogs while breakfasting and having a new thought on the comment
"isn't 'dating' now a code word for shagging?" According to one site user, the mere fact that I have been here blogging, meant that I must be lining up the kisses and dates in a queue with the intention of 'cheating'.He did want to meet but changed his mind. We need a new age dictionary here.

Posted by: blueeyes1955 at February 21, 2008 7:53 AM

Posted by: woodnwine at February 20, 2008 10:05 AM

Not sure I can be bothered to speed date WnW. However I have a doppelganger who was out on Friday night..not me as I was unwell and at home. A work mate told everyone at work he saw me at the Victoria Hotel with an Indian guy who "I" left with. hmmmmmmmmmmph. Now my work mates think I lied about being ill. I posted on the blog, which proves I was home. Now they are saying all kinds of things about me and this guy they think I went off with. Maybe my doppelganger can go on the speed dates and tell me about it. I got a ticket for the whole of Womad, so see how that goes...for a fun experience, not to pick up someone.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 21, 2008 1:25 AM

JenJen. Your 9.09 post illustrates my point about sex being implicit when the genders meet, even if you don't understand that is what is happening.
It is precisely because you 'like' some one that you see him again, or the converse. You have made that decision on their relative sexual attractiveness. I don't necessarily mean you think they are hot or look like a good shag, whatever, but they satisfy the partner criteria of your main sex organ, the one between your ears.
Thanks for the comprehensive response Lynath; glad to see you reinstated. Your matronly prudishness and linguistic rigor mortis is matched by your inability to see that I mean sex partner in the broad sense of the word. Anyway, what is wrong with having the odd conscious thought about sex even if it is with an inappropriate person? Nothing I say and after all isn't 'dating' now a code word for shagging?

Piss ant. When squashed the little, black, biting, annoying, home invading introduced Argentine ants smell of formic acid, which some people think smells like urine. A pissant is a person who is seen as inconsequential but an irritation.

Posted by: laughsandtalks at February 21, 2008 1:25 AM

well i just checked my emails and had a thank you from RSVP for helping get them into the Guinness book of records for speed dating.
Sorry to say, I had nothing to do with it.

By the way what is a piss-ant? I have heard the term but never been able to determine what it means

Posted by: virgil at February 20, 2008 11:38 PM

Hi Lynath
Congratulations on your dignified response to Marcus.As a resident lurker(thanks Bill) over a considerable period of time on rsvp I would have to say that you have always come across as a knowledgeable and classy lady.These blogs certainly do give a great insight into into the real persona's behind the profiles

Posted by: abckenny at February 20, 2008 11:31 PM

yes I ran away once, excused myself to go to the ladies and never went back ! Bit rude I know but............
Posted by: jenjen57 at February 20, 2008 6:39 PM

A bit rude you say. Try, I’m an inconsiderate pig.
A single cell Amoeba would have more chance of growing a spine than you. Even if this person was a goose, to actually be low enough to humiliate anybody like that makes you nothing more than a piss-ant.
Can’t expect too much from someone who’s other stunningly dishonest talent is nothing more than soaking in the literary praise heaped on you from one or two simple minded fools on here. Praise for something that was nothing more than a plagiaristic, web sourced, marathon-of-cut-and-paste,cut-and-paste,cut-and-paste,cut-and-paste,cut-and-paste,cut-and-paste,cut-and-paste.

Posted by: rsviper at February 20, 2008 11:16 PM

Marcus, if I have even half the attributes strength and courage the women of the CWA 1940's had , I would be thrilled.

Subconscious or sometime conscious sexual thoughts may be present when meeting appropriate partners, but that is not what you said nor meant I believe.
You cheapened a legitimate dating option to something with sleazy undertones and connotations.

Although revealing a profile is not relevant to expressing a thought or opinion, my profile is visible...that is to everyone but you since you had the big gonads to send me 'hate mail' a while back. As we have never met nor corresponded, I wondered about your motivation in wasting a stamp to do that. There are plenty of guys whom I have annoyed via these blogs over time, but none of them were ever so ungentlemanly as to send nasty mail.

Thank you Virgil and Kaz for the nice comment.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at February 20, 2008 10:37 PM

hahaha- me too auntykaz!

...perhaps laughsandtalks meant that a certain subconscious sexual ASSESSMENT occurs when we meet someone of the opposite sex.... rather than it being 'implicit'?

...would that be the case Marcus?

Posted by: decoratress at February 20, 2008 10:16 PM

Marcus, "sex is implicit whenever a man and woman meet"......
Can l politely say....WHAT THE????

If thats the case l don't know how anything else except sex ever gets done in anyones lives...especially if you are a woman working in a mans world, or a man working in a womans world.......

Are you completly serious or taking the mickey???? Please explain.......

Lynath's proffile has been visible...l've looked at it.. Hi Lynath !!!

l think that she makes some very relevant and interesting comments.

We may not always agree with everyone but goodness me, the CWA of the 40's?? laughing at that one l am.............K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 20, 2008 9:53 PM

Marcus to Lynath diary
You haven't even got the guts decency to reveal your profile?
When I looked just then, Lynaths profile was "decently revealed" as was yours, which is good to see as many of the multiple personality blokes on here who delight in character assassination of the women find it necessary to hide their profiles.

Posted by: virgil at February 20, 2008 9:19 PM

Marcus.........I know it wasn't gracious, very poor form......but he didnt swing on anything, he was very persistent and I married him four years later........should have stayed in the loo !!!!
Still don't agree that sex is implicit whenever a man and woman meet however. I don't subconsciously "assess the likelihood of a union" when I meet someone. If I like them I will see them again , if I dont I wont. I have to decide if I like them before I ever even think about sex with them. I have two very close male friends who I see regularly and I NEVER think about sex with them.

Posted by: jenjen57 at February 20, 2008 9:09 PM

Speed dating. This topic one should probably be under the Staying Active heading.
Lynath, I don't think you understand your own processes and motivations. Your posts read like something from the CWA of the 1940's. John and Jeanette would be proud of you. You haven't even got the guts decency to reveal your profile. For most people with healthy gonads and normal needs, joining a site like this is done for the purpose of increasing their catchment of potential sexual partners. Even if it is only one. Sex is implicit when ever a man and a woman meet. Subconsciously and actively, automaticall, we assess the liklihood of a union; obviously most of the possibilities end up with no action. All speed dating does is acknowledge that (and follow the same logic that RSVP does in a less frantic way) which is increasing the possibilities. It is after all a numbers game. Logically the more potential mates you meet the greater the chance of finding a compatible lover?
JenJen. I applaud your courage in graciously leaving that meeting. Poor bloke is probably swinging dessicated on a rope in his garage.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at February 20, 2008 8:45 PM

I checked it out again Virgil..it is 8 minutes total for each 'date' and you meet ten ...
Nothing is random...they have the right amount of males and females and of the right age group sorted into sessions.
I think they have refined it a lot more now and do some compatibility matching as well as special interest sessions.
The one thing about it is that you shouldn't be bored in the short amount of time. You won't know if you have nothing in common until you talk to them. Attraction is another matter.

Look up Fast Impressions which I believe has an affiliation with RSVP.and there are plenty of others.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at February 20, 2008 8:29 PM

Speed dating? so does each person get 3 minutes? or is it 3 minutes then move on?

I guess if there were the sort of people you would meet by selecting a member of the opposite sex, and sending a kiss.

What of the demographic split? I mean, does speed dating appeal to the same demographic in males and females?

Without wishing to generalise, i suspect speed dating would appeal more to the alpha personalities.

For myself, I feel i could sit and say nothing intelligent in the 3 minutes, either feeling overawaed by the person opposite, maybe bored, as in thinking we have nothing in common, so why bother?

I feel i might experience the same emotion as auntiekaz, as in it might be the longest 2 hours in my life.

Speaking of root canal work, I have had that this year, as well as massaging arthritic hips to improve mobility, the massage is by far the most painful to me.

Posted by: virgil at February 20, 2008 8:01 PM

Wnw l had a plan B.... it was called the Rugby Union World Cup game, Australia were playing Canada. And l had to get home to watch it. I do like a bit of Rugger....K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 20, 2008 7:10 PM

kaz - that's when you need a plan B.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 20, 2008 7:04 PM

WnW I have never left a date but had one that l was quite happy was over...it took two hours......possibly the longest of my life so far..........K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 20, 2008 6:49 PM

Marcus, do hope you are NOT SERIOUS !!

Woodnwine, yes I ran away once, excused myself to go to the ladies and never went back ! Bit rude I know but............

Posted by: jenjen57 at February 20, 2008 6:39 PM

Marcus, attending a speed dating activity in no way implies consent to sex just as meeting a woman or man in any other social setting would not.

It may be a good and quick way to meet people, but I am sure tha majority would find your attitude insulting.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at February 20, 2008 6:33 PM

I have researched Speed Dating and know someone who has been
She ended up going on a few dates with the Organiser and then when that didn't work out she felt unable to try it again!!
I would never go because I think it would be an uncomfortable forced experience..on a par with those organised get to know you activities that workplace trainers find helpful and attendees dread.....

If you went with a couple of friends the awkwardness may be overcome because having people you know already there to talk to always increases confidence.
They get you to arrive before the actual event and have a few drinks...this always helps to make the "line up" appear much more attractive and exciting..and funny .......
Then you line up on opposite sides of a table and have three minutes to talk. A bell rings, and the men move along one seat. You mark on a card whether or not you would want to see the person again.
At the end of the session the cards are taken in by the organiser and crossmatched. If there are two people who have both agreed they want to meet again then contact details are given the next day .
After the speed date part of the evening there is more opportunity to talk and mingle.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at February 20, 2008 6:19 PM

It would appear so WnW, I will not add the other thought that crossed my mind.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at February 20, 2008 4:46 PM

"W&W. Speed Dating.
A good, quick, honest way to hook up with potential sex partners.
Cheers Marcus"
Posted by: laughsandtalks at February 20, 2008 1:38 PM

Presumably from this comment, most speed daters don't go along looking for a relationship ....

Posted by: woodnwine at February 20, 2008 4:00 PM

Hi slightsync.
If you want to pay for the privilige of having like minded companions on an overseas tour. They are dear by comparisson to a lot of other agents. I did one trip made up of people from all over the world and differents age groups (naturally I was the oldest) it was a ball from go to whoa. Good friendships made.
Cheers, Oldergent.

Posted by: oldergent at February 20, 2008 2:02 PM

W&W. Speed Dating.
A good, quick, honest way to hook up with potential sex partners. Pares the selection process down and acknowledges that in any contact between female and male sex is implicit.
We know if the sex energy is good
chances are something resembling a relationship can occur...
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at February 20, 2008 1:38 PM

moreofaman .... that's what I'm asking ... what is it like? Can anyone shed any light?

Posted by: woodnwine at February 20, 2008 1:37 PM

wnw, I agreed to a date, but the guy was really insistent to know my real name before we met. For professsional reasons I was not prepared to do that, and over the couple of days before he kept asking and accusing me of being unreasonable. As I approached our meeting place, I realised that the guy had posted a photo about ten years old! Did I keep the date? No way! Did I want to continue any sort of relationship with such a deceiver?

Posted by: lassie2day at February 20, 2008 1:29 PM

WnW see your in fine form today, now for speed dating is there safety gear needed do we provide our own or just go in hope for the best, or head down between our legs kissing where the sun don't shine,,,,lolol
But all jokes aside what is it like, speedating that is?

Posted by: moreofaman4u at February 20, 2008 1:01 PM

Actually ... has anyone had someone run away at a date? Or has anyone done it? That would be funny .... maybe.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 20, 2008 12:27 PM

Very funny Bob

Posted by: woodnwine at February 20, 2008 12:12 PM

Hi All,

I speed date all of the time.........I turn up....they run away!!!

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at February 20, 2008 12:05 PM

Or maybe people are matched rather than selected randomly by age alone? Can anyone speak from experience?

Posted by: woodnwine at February 20, 2008 10:06 AM

Hi slightsync ... in Brisbane they seem to have speed dating events every week for different age groups (3 groups I think). I just wonder how much you could find out about a person in a few minutes as it would take a while just to settle and start the conversation ... plus you are both trying to ask questions and find out what you can. Also, I presume there would be a fair chance if you are randomly matched that you may not have anything in common with some or even most of the people.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 20, 2008 10:05 AM

Has anyone tried speed dating? I'm wondering what it is like .... fun or a complete waste of time.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 20, 2008 8:34 AM

WnW at least a person would get to see 10 or more of the opposite sex in real life. No way of meeting people would be a waste of time, unless it was tacky. Look into it maybe. In Adelaide it was guys 35-46 and girls 32-42 or similar which made me annoyed as it excluded my age. Since then, in Adelaide they have changed the age ranges. I wonder what going on a RSVP holiday would be like? A sure way to meet singles and you assume they would have something in common with you also to be on the holiday. The relevance of this to the topic is that you could book and pay online. We get email notifications about RSVP events. I googled speed dating events in Adelaide for a friend, there are quite a few. perhaps they are good value for money WnW?

Enjoy your blogging day everyone.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 20, 2008 8:51 AM

Has anyone tried speed dating? I'm wondering what it is like .... fun or a complete waste of time.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 20, 2008 8:34 AM

Love Hurts, When God Knows We Deserved Someone Else...

Posted by: aliane at February 19, 2008 1:27 PM

Aliane, do you think we miss opportunities in "love" as we maybe do not see someone who was right in front of us all the time. If I shop, I prefer to go and look myself. Not sure if I would view RSVP the same way and in hindsight perhaps should have given some of the alpha males with no words (hardly) on their profiles but who all looked like nice men a chance.Am just a sucker for a quirky or funny profile and I like words. I may go speed dating one day with a few others, if I felt it was appropriate.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 19, 2008 8:59 PM

Aliane...

You are right.

Posted by: decoratress at February 19, 2008 6:21 PM

"I don't like shopping on line...........I would much rather see it, hear it or feel it before I buy it !!"
Posted by: jenjen57 at February 19, 2008 12:09 PM

kind of like RSVP?

Posted by: woodnwine at February 19, 2008 2:12 PM

I don't like shopping on line...........I would much rather see it, hear it or feel it before I buy it !!
My youngest is addicted to Ebay and buys and sells there all the time, with no problems at all so far, and has made some major savings on Ipod "stuff".

Posted by: jenjen57 at February 19, 2008 12:09 PM

Shopping online recently saved me $150....I gave up finding a comedy series set in the shops so ordered online....they are out of stock, so they haven't cost me anything!!! :-)

Posted by: bm1960 at February 19, 2008 10:27 AM

Here's one for the record books.

MR. Casanova himself.

For Valentines Day, and out of such great affection for his rsvp bedmate, he sent her out to use her own money on a Noodles Box from a Noodles vending machine.

And I thought his Crazy Clark Mr. Everything For $2.00 and a pound of cheese was special.

His idea of Valentines Day caps even that.

But treat them mean, keep them keen.

His Lady Love pines for him still.

Oh there is nothing like chemistry, now is there.

Now I thought I'd put this in the Saving Money Online blog, as he met his Lady Love online, right here on rsvp, and he certainly is saving money.

If she ever finishes with him, which I doubt (there is nothing like true love), he'll be coming to a store near you.

Posted by: neuroticfish at February 19, 2008 5:29 AM

Willow there is now way I would want rider to do that much exerxise for me, I would have no more strength for my fantasies about all of the beauties on this site. LOL
Cheers. ( you beauties know I am kiding!)

Posted by: oldergent at February 18, 2008 11:47 PM

When I try to catch up with the blog...there is so much venting and bitching that it is unpleasant. Why not send a kiss to the person or email them and try to sort it out person to person. Honestly it is so immature and I am tired of the meanness directed by some bloggers for no apparent reason to other bloggers....seemingly
out of the blue. It is actually cowardly to hide behind the blog front with a hidden profile and moan and gripe. Can't we have a code of conduct that involves not picking on someone in a really mean way? Why not be more positive and try to build bridges or actually post in a more civilized way. If you have a problem with someone, ignore them...email them...or I really do not know. I read people complaining that they are not contacted enough but when you look at their profile, of course it is hidden. RSVP although clunky in some aspects at least can be fun and honestly I do not see why some bloggers expect that every other blogger wants to include them in a friendship group or whatever. Get over it and move on. It is not about exclusion but it is about people who click with each other choosing to spend time together. Personally I spend time with people who are fun and not negative. Of course everyone has a crap day..week..month..now and then. If its ongoing, go and seek counseling or go to a psychologist etc. Virgil is right, the footy is more interesting than the griping here.

However I may take up fishing again. Other blogs where this would be more relevant seem to be closed...

On topic

Do not pay for e-bay things from bank account to bank account unless you absolutely trust the person 100%. (I would still not do it!) Posted about it before...my daughter lost $900 or so buying a games console that never came.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 18, 2008 6:41 PM

Hi Marcus,
Yes I have PayPal and use the debit card top up system when I buy. I have been involved most of my life in business or management, no doubt we could swap endless stories of the bad people you meet in business. these self same people would not buy if you automatically charged it as part of the deal. Mind you I have had my ups and downs with Aust/post.
The point I made to the local Pm, was why should it have to be registered for securiy, surely we can post anything without the item being stolen, if they can do it for one why not make it on all postage and charge less per item than registered.
Cheers Robert

Posted by: oldergent at February 18, 2008 1:43 PM

Oldergent.
Get yourself a PayPal account going if you are buying higher dollar items. You have more recourse with them than eBay alone. It is much more convenient and acts as a deterrent to bodgies because they have some teeth

Ebay is full of scammers. You have to watch for 'em.
I have a couple of little eBay businesses. One is selling metal offcuts I generate for more than scrap value. Some customers would claim they did not receive their item because the Ausatralia Post satchel package was unregistered and then threaten to blow my rating with a negative comment if I didn't send a replacement.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at February 18, 2008 1:11 PM

At least it never takes long to catch up on what has been happening on this blog .... a huge bonus when we have all been busy shopping and dating online.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 18, 2008 1:09 PM

the pommysheila has got it right WnW.

As to the foul ups on this site.
I have a Chinese friend in Beijing that cannot believe some of the things I have been telling him about this site and some others. He is a top software guru, and works for China's top software company he said he would expect any of his staff to be able to correct things immediately. He also said if our IT was that bad he would seriously consider emigrating out here.
Cheers.

Posted by: oldergent at February 18, 2008 12:46 PM

Getting back to the subject, I have bought quite a few articles on Ebay ranging from a steal on the auctions to several hundred dollars on buy it now. There are pitfalls, most of my problems with traders is the direct transfer system of payment, you have no recourse if they do the wrong thing, except a dispute action, which Ebay are pretty louth to take much action on. PayPal gives you some protection but only if you can follow the guidlines and procedures. The biggest problem I have encountered is the fraud of a dealer or the return policy for items that do not work. A typical case of a Grandfather clock that did not work, it cost $28 p/h and freight, the battle to get the full refund had to include me sending it back at my cost, and I lost the cost of the insurance previously paid. If you are not a business and have an no account with them,forget any national transporter. Then be prepared to pay whatever exorbitant fee they think you will pay by courier.

I will be taking 2 items back to the Sydney depots personally because it will cost me 25% of the cartage fee's that the carriers charge. By the way the cost of freight for the clock was just over $80 to return, the other items freight was $66.
Cheers

Posted by: oldergent at February 18, 2008 12:31 PM

Guessed wrong. Can't win them all.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 18, 2008 11:28 AM

Hello everyone,
Hope those of you who were miserable yesterday feel much better today! In answer to your questions timewarp1 & woodnwine No and Yes, I was for around 24 years (hence the 3 children aged under 5, who are now aged 22, 19 & 18, two of whom should probably have speeding tickets they just haven't been caught!!)

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 15, 2008 11:46 PM

Hi M. Alternative method: Click Archive/ Feb 08 blogs, click on this one, and here we are.

I'm guessing they'll close this one on Monday morning - their usual time, if a blog's got up to about 700 posts, or proved to be a fizzer.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 15, 2008 8:07 PM

Why do we have to log into the other blog to get into this one? No idea? Me either ... maybe RSVP is saving money by keeping their menu brief.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 15, 2008 3:48 PM

Valentine's Day doesn't have to be ALL about money. Some of the nicest things can be inexpensive or even free. What about a phone call, a hand-made card, some flowers from your own garden, a mounted photograph, just dropping in to say Hi, a back rub or just a kiss and some nice words?

Now amberlight58 - were you trying to run an amber light when "one of you" got the speeding ticket? And what did you mean by "one of you"? That sounds like you are with someone.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 15, 2008 9:52 AM

Au contraire, folks, Valentine's Day is ALL about money!

Posted by: pommysheila at February 15, 2008 7:08 AM

Hi amberlight58, and welcome to Bloggsville.

I hope the one who got the speeding ticket wasn't under 5.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 15, 2008 2:09 AM

Sorry to be so cynical woodnwine! Try that argument when you have 3 kids under 5, you are just making ends meet and one of you gets a speeding ticket!!

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 15, 2008 12:13 AM

Money? It's Valentine's Day for God's sake. What does money matter when you are talking about love?

Posted by: woodnwine at February 14, 2008 11:23 PM

Posted by: sophisticated68 at February 13, 2008 8:13 PM

Yeah but am working in sales so it is mostly fun. The choc coated raspbs are about the most popular thing in the shop. Am actually happy not to be "dating" right now BTW. The thing is blogging is kinda addictive though.

Hope the bloggers meeting was fun, you bloggers feeling seedy?

Maybe I should email all those guys with yachts and so on who sent kisses but had about two words on their profile and say, yes lets go sailing? They got upset when I said please update your profile with more information.

A workmate just phoned me from Malaysia where he has met a girl in a backpackers from Qld in a little village of 60 people. He is in love or something, so hey. Getting out there and going somewhere, anywhere...increases your chances of meeting people obviously.

There are some great RSVP names out there by you bloggers, I like them.

And hi there amberlight58 and welcome of course. yeah we do go off topic a bit, you noticed!

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 13, 2008 11:02 PM

Hello All,

I'm new to this blogging business on RSVP, but I have read several of the blogging topics and really enjoyed the comments. I notice that all the blog topics seem to be commenced by Karina at ??RSVP.
Isn't anyone allowed to start a blog topic of their own?

This topic is a a bit mundane isn't it? I mean there is only so much one can say about online shopping! (On topic; I find DVDs are good. You don't have to fight the masses at the big chain stores and never find the DVD you actually wanted!)
Thank goodness you regular bloggers rarely stay on track, otherwise it would all be over in a few comments and the blogs wouldn't be half as much fun to read!

I really loved some of the blogs on "Dangerous Mistakes", some were hilarious (I did post a blog but it hasn't appeared yet or maybe it's just disappeared into cyberspace?) and the tips especially those from onlinedatinggoddess and onlinedatingexpert were enlightening at times; just the sort of info I'm sure us novices need to know! I look forward to future blog comments with relish!
Keep blogging!

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 13, 2008 10:26 PM

Best way to save money is to not send emails to people that don't bother replying...

Save on Stamps!!!!

Lets start a movement...save on stamps!!

Posted by: picklessister at February 13, 2008 9:18 PM

Who cares about money .... love is what matters.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 13, 2008 8:46 PM

Ha ha aliane very funny. Hope you have a pleasant Valentines Day. Happy Chinese New Year too and I think Sorry Day was a bit too late WnW.

SSC

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 13, 2008 7:53 PM

but where is that elusive one?

Posted by: woodnwine at February 13, 2008 9:00 AM

That is the question,WnW and RSVP is a tool we can utilise!

So as not to be taken advantage of online : )) I would never pay for an e-bay purchase from my bank account to the sellers bank account. Someone I know did that and is $900 down, and it is a police matter now. Happened just before Christmas and I do not know what the chances of recouping the loss is. Not a very romantic pre Valentines topic. I possibly would buy flowers, lingerie, books online. Really I prefer to shop in person. If RSVP had more stamp options like 1 or 2, I would get them more often.

RSVP is not good value for money as laughsandtalks wrote, we can not refer to the email recieved. Guess RSVP just want to let the American companies take over the online dating "market" (cringe) and it possibly has so much potential.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 13, 2008 7:50 PM

I buy some things online. I get my supermarket shopping, books, medications/vitamins, a television, dvd, magazine subscriptions. I guess a lot. I dont know if I save much. I do save my time which is valuable.

Posted by: oohlala1 at February 13, 2008 7:45 PM

"How do you budget your money and decide where to buy with so manly options? "

No Karina, we do not have so "manly" options here in Adelaide. I wish. No time for online shopping now as most of my spare time is spent logging in and out of RSVP blog trying to post comments.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 13, 2008 7:39 PM

"The blindingly obvious need to be able to refer to an email received when corresponding seems to have been blithely overlooked."
Posted by: laughsandtalks at February 13, 2008 12:29 PM

Yes, this is very annoying.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 13, 2008 12:32 PM

rsviper.
HA hA. Very harsh.
Yep, typo's happen to the best of us from time to time. I noticed it after I posted and cringed.

On topic. I do a reasonable amount of online purchasing, including, obviously spending money here to try and improve my sex life.
Compared to other sites with different subscription deals the expiring stamp method offers pretty poor value for the purchaser. It is pretty clunky, crummy even. The emailing reply format not having a file or draft feature is inconvenient. The blindingly obvious need to be able to refer to an email received when corresponding seems to have been blithely overlooked.
'Chats' cost a stamp here and the RSVP IM system would have to be the least reliable, lowest performing system that could be called commercial. It is like using 2 jam tins and a bit of wire compared to a 'phone.
There is a bit of feed back. RSVP needs to halve their prices to offer a modicum of value.
Cheers.

Posted by: laughsandtalks at February 13, 2008 12:29 PM

WoodnWine
YAWN................

Posted by: rsviper at February 13, 2008 12:00 PM

LaughsandTalks and Wishfulthinker03
I find it rather “extradordinary” and really quite “apalling” that you two would consider yourselves qualified to advise others on their spelling and syntax skills.

Posted by: rsviper at February 13, 2008 11:59 AM

Happy Sorry Day everyone

Posted by: woodnwine at February 13, 2008 9:51 AM

I chose to copy my response here as well as it looks like the other site has gone into mothballs, hopefully packing cricket and all cricketers away with it until October.

Posted by: virgil at February 13, 2008 9:37 AM

Hi Willow
I have been a West Coast member for 20 years, I moved to this wonderful city of Adelaide in August last year. ( I came across on the Indian Pacific, in a sleeper cabin with my car also on the train, awonderful journey.)
In the event of me possibly wanting to go back, I purchased a 2008 membership for the Eagles, more as a safety net.
I now have a membership of AAMI stadium, with reciprocal facilities for MCG, and a membership of the Adelaide Crows, and I believe they are called the pride of South Australia.

Their demolition of Collingwood on Saturday night certainly made me proud.

Posted by: virgil at February 13, 2008 9:35 AM

RSVP ..... do you check your blog topics before posting? The spelling and grammar are usually bad! Not very professional.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 13, 2008 9:01 AM

No, I do not shop on-line except for concert tickets. Does this have anything to do with dating? OK, so we are shopping for a potential partner on-line .......
but where is that elusive one?

Posted by: woodnwine at February 13, 2008 9:00 AM

this is just a cheap way to avoid paying for market research, and to ditch the spell check at the same time.
They must be running out of more options than we are!!

Posted by: today122 at February 13, 2008 7:52 AM

laughsandtalks ... don't be unfair. I always get a smile on my face whenever our fair moderator thinks up a topic and pens a few thoughts to start deliberations. I find something charming about her novel placing of subjunctive clauses, her economical use of punctuation and the occasional title written in upper-case with some accompanying exclamation marks for good measure.

Funnier still are people who say they are reading Proust or some other unfathomable author, and yet cannot write a profile using basic English.

Posted by: kransky at February 13, 2008 12:35 AM

Maybe it is to encourge those inclined to buy gifts online...phone online, chat online and never step foot into the "real" world....

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at February 12, 2008 7:51 PM

Well said, laughsandtalks - do you think it was a deliberate Freudian slip, the reference to "manly options"? Perhaps someone at Fairfax simply considers online dating another form of "shopping" and thinks we might have some expert advice to offer???

Posted by: hinterlandlover at February 12, 2008 7:27 PM

Another fascinating blog topic suggested by the unimaginative language mangling Karina.

RSVP is owned by Fairfax; a mob of media mercenaries. I would have thought that one competent journo could have been seconded to look after the blogs and notices here.
The standard of RSVP's written communication is apalling for a business that promotes itself as the upmarket meat market.

Posted by: laughsandtalks at February 12, 2008 6:45 PM

lol - hey archerrising - sent you an email

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at February 12, 2008 6:39 PM

cross-promotion, anyone?

Posted by: archerrising at February 12, 2008 6:19 PM

What on earth has this to do with online dating, which is what we're all here for, well, at least that's my understanding of it !!!!!

Posted by: hinterlandlover at February 12, 2008 5:55 PM