RSVP Blog

WnW,
Don't some alpha males seem okay at work and even in the community in general, but keep their anger bottled up and then start shouting and yelling once they get home to their family? Or is thar just dysfunctional alpha male behaviour?
My ex rarely shouted at me, he just "glowered" but our kids!! He just yelled and screamed at them all the time!! It was even worse if we had an argument over him not helping me around the house or something; he would then go and start yelling at them that they should help me more. No matter how much I tried to ask him to talk to the kids in the same way he talked to people at work or his fellow CFS brigade members, with some respect and understanding, he just wouldn't listen. This contributed greatly to the breakdown of our marriage.

Posted by: amberlight58 at March 4, 2008 11:54 AM

vitgil - I agree. I usually find I have discuss personal issues with women because most men don't want to know about it. Luckily I also have one good mate who listens but it is the exception I think. Also most men tend to give the alpha response when discussing issues with relationships e.g. treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen .... maybe they are right? Or just forget them, they're not worth it.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 4, 2008 11:43 AM

One way to change alpha male personality, is major medical emergency, it is at this point, one realises that the body will not continue to do what the mind says it must.

Women have many other women to talk to, and to help in the coping mechanism, whereas I have one mate that we discuss all these matters with, at a similar level to the way women talk with each other. I feel very lucky to have this support.

Posted by: virgil at March 4, 2008 11:08 AM

"One way alpha combativeness plays out is in a propensity for defensive behaviour. Alpha males' intimidating style makes other people defensive and alphas respond to that defensiveness with disdain. But, paradoxically, when someone disagrees with them, or gives them critical feedback, they get defensive - only to justify their behaviour as honest truth-telling.

They think they're delivering a wake-up call when they're hurling verbal grenades. Their defensiveness stems from thinking they have all the answers and from having to prove it to others.

Put two dysfunctional alpha males together and even if they start out with common objectives, they're likely to end up in a power struggle.

When an alpha male pounces on someone who's not an alpha, the dynamic is different. As the other party tries to explain, the impatient alpha either tunes out conspicuously or cuts in with a barrage of heavy artillery.

The opponent slinks away in self-defence, pretending to get the alpha's point. Also disappearing are useful facts and important views, along with respect, trust and support. People comply with alphas and mindlessly implement their strategies, even if they don't agree with them. Effort diminishes, learning ceases and collaborative dialogue is silenced.

As troublesome as it is, defensiveness pales in comparison to the most common alpha male trait: volatility. In our study, male alphas scored markedly higher than female alphas on impatience and difficulty controlling anger (there was no significant difference in competitiveness). Male anger tends to be transparent, whether it's expressed in biting sarcasm or a blow-up. Angry women are usually less overt: their tone takes on a sharp edge, or they carp and criticise, pointing out what's wrong at every turn and ignoring what's working well.

Whether it comes out in upheavals that shatter the Richter scale, glares that melt icebergs or callous slurs that cut to the bone, alpha volatility makes for an edgy, unpredictable workplace. Because of the sheer power of their inner furnaces, alphas set the temperature of the group. Shift their thermostat from upbeat to surly, and watch the mood of the organisation plummet. Raise it into the red zone and you have a paranoid workforce.

When an anger-prone alpha male leader is about to arrive on the scene, you will see anxious people searching for clues about which personality will walk through the door. The price of that pervasive fear includes wasted energy, elevated stress levels and employees who cover their backs instead of getting their jobs done.

Many alpha males operate under the mistaken belief that fear moves people to more productive action. To be sure, the old-fashioned, hard-nosed alpha style can be a legitimate management tool, not just in war or on a football field, but in the corporate world as well. In severe crises, or at times of exceptional fear and uncertainty, tough command-and-control tactics can provide needed order and discipline.

In ordinary circumstances, however, alpha male excesses are much riskier now than they used to be. More and more leaders realise that success in the corporate jungle requires keeping a lid on abusive tendencies, and alphas who face up to their risks often learn with experience how to rise above them."

Harvard Business School

Posted by: woodnwine at March 4, 2008 11:07 AM

"Human history is the story of alphas, those indispensable powerhouses who take charge, conquer new worlds and move heaven and earth to make things happen. Whether heading a band of warriors, bringing a vital new product to market, guiding a team to glory or steering a giant conglomerate, alphas are hardwired for achievement and eager to tackle challenges that others find intimidating. Along the way, they inspire awe and admiration - and sometimes fear and trembling. Wherever they are and whatever they do, they stand out from the crowd, usually leaving an indelible impression on those whose lives they touch.

The business world swarms with alpha males (and females). Although there are no hard numbers to support this approximation, we estimate that alphas comprise about 75% of top executives. Some are larger-than-life legends who run giant companies; others lead in relative obscurity at the top of little-known firms or small departments.

Alphas are aggressive, results-driven achievers who insist on top performance from themselves and others. Courageous and self-confident, they are turned on by bold, innovative ideas and ambitious goals, and they pursue their objectives with tenacity and an urgent sense of mission. Their intense competitive drive keeps them focused on the gold - silver or bronze simply won't do - and they're always keeping score. Often charismatic figures who command attention, they exert influence even when they're low-key and inconspicuous.

Alphas are found at every level of the organisational chart. Whether they're at the forefront of a global corporation or stacking shelves in a retail store, they look for ways to increase their power and influence, dominating meetings, taking the lead on projects and otherwise making their presence felt. Indeed, many a corporate bigwig started out as an alpha nobody who somehow stood out from the crowd. This does not mean that all good leaders are alphas or that only alphas have what it takes to lead a group to victory. On the contrary, depending on the nature of the business and the organisation, many leadership positions are better filled by men and women who are not alphas, and who achieve their goals with styles that better suit their personalities and circumstances.

In general, men are more likely than women to have alpha characteristics, and the business world contains many more alpha males than alpha females, especially in the top executive ranks. In our research, men scored much higher than women on measures of the alpha risk factors. What does this mean? In short, alpha females get angry, but they're seldom as belligerent as alpha males. They like to win and they set aggressive goals for themselves and their teams, but they're not as intimidating or as authoritarian as their male counterparts. And while they can be fiercely competitive, they're less likely than alpha males to use ruthless tactics or to see peers and colleagues as rivals who have to be destroyed.

Make no mistake: the world needs alphas. We could not do without their courageous leadership, their goal-driven focus and their unwavering sense of responsibility. At their best, alphas are world-beaters. When they are not at their best - when they are unaware, out of balance, or out of control - they create problems that diminish the value of their productive energy. And when they are at their worst, they go down in flames and drag their co-workers, their families and their organisations with them. We call this complex set of characteristics the alpha male syndrome because it fits both the basic definition of the word - 'a distinctive or characteristic pattern of behaviour' - and its usual connotation of disease or dysfunction: 'a complex of symptoms indicating the existence of an undesirable condition or quality'.

If it's not money, it's sex. We've observed that many leaders who fit the dysfunctional alpha male typology become womanisers who use conquest and control to assert their dominance. Add to that the tendency for alphas to think they should get whatever they want and you have a perfect set-up for dramas that can ruin careers and families, weaken mighty leaders and throw organisations into turmoil.

When properly channelled and controlled, the alpha male drive to reach the top is a spur to progress, but when the ethic of what it takes to get results is carried to extremes, it becomes a menace to both personal careers and corporate health. It wreaks havoc, turning otherwise worthy alphas into bullies who intimidate, browbeat and humiliate people to get what they want, often rationalising their behaviour as necessary to get others to shape up. Combative and pathologically competitive, unhealthy alpha males need to dominate; as a result, they are constantly on guard and always looking for an advantage."

Harvard Business School

Posted by: woodnwine at March 4, 2008 10:57 AM

Woodnwine........I am another one who married an alpha male, to my detriment. When I met him I was attracted to his spontaniety, always ready to go off and do whatever, cheeky and charming, touch arrogant with tickets all over himself.........very very attractive although he is not especially good looking. What I came to realise over time, especially once we had three children, was that he was extremely self absorbed and that it was always, all about him. It just wasnt so obvious before we had the responsibilities and challenges that come with kids, mortgage and sometimes only one income. And after more than two years apart nothing has changed........he is still too busy doing his own thing to be bothered with his kids........so in my new life I am looking for a bloke that is less alpha who has solid relationships with family and friends.

Posted by: jenjen57 at March 4, 2008 10:01 AM

I empathise JenJen!! My ex is very similar.

Posted by: amberlight58 at March 4, 2008 10:56 AM

I read the Myer Briggs profiles (I haven't done the test) and I thought I wouldn't fit entirely into any of the "types". There were "bits" of me in all of them!! (Scary really! Should I be worried?)

Alpha Males, are they the gorgeous looking, athletic and sporty males women go weak at the knees for?
I would agree that those guys who believe in their own publicity are a poor partner choice. But it has amazed me over the years, that particularly those younger ( in there late 20's early 30's) have such a different attitude to the guys of my era, those in their late 40's and 50's.

The younger people seem so much more "grounded" (maybe because they have seen their own fathers?) and seem to put their wives and families very much on their major priority list. The most gorgeous looking guys who play A grade footy and basketball and other sports in our country town are either married or getting married and seem to be moving away from the "mates first" attitude they had before they met their partners. They are proving to be the most wonderful husbands and fathers, and are that way from the time their child is born, married or not. No longer do you see the mothers struggling (as I did when my kids were younger) with tired grumpy babies at the football while their partner stands at the bar with their mates post-football. These young guys finish their game, have their showers and go and find their familes, often being the ones dealing with a crying babv while their partners socialise.
That was very rare in my baby days!! And any bloke who was strong enough to put his family first, would have been paid out by his mates for being "under the thumb" (I must admit even when my children were young, there were blokes that actually were like that, but they were few and far between)

Women who suffer post-natal depression these days are more likely to get sympathy and very "hands on" support from their partners, when I had difficulty with our first child, my ex-husband had the attitude that I was the problem, that there was something deficient in my coping skills. (he was very much into the attitude that having a wife and family was not going to change his life: it certainly changed mine!)

So I would agree with you that the aging "alpha male" would probably still make a poor partner choice (unless he has learned that the world has changed of course; he'll find that out quickly if he choose a partner 10 or more years younger than him!) But the younger blokes: no they are proving to be quite different. Of course, there is still the odd bloke who will never grow up and take responsibilty and some who are borderline, but this is no longer seen as being okay or encouraged by their peers.

Posted by: amberlight58 at March 4, 2008 10:47 AM

Virgil, for me (and other women who've mentioned the same to me) one of the most significant ways I see women nurturing themselves is their close and communicative relationships they have with other women. Especially when there's a relationship hiccup or break-up - we talk, and talk and talk....and I know some men may accuse us of doing nothing but "talk", but it bonds us, heals us and provides great solace and insight at times.
I know the above isn't exactly a revelation. But the power behind our willingness and ability to talk things through with our female friends is not to be denied!

Posted by: malsie at March 4, 2008 10:40 AM

Marcus - I think everyone knows what an alpha male is and I did put in a few descriptive words, that I believe were accurate. I think all men have a certain amount of alpha male in them but obviously in different degrees. I was referring to men who are predominantly alpha.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 4, 2008 10:32 AM

SCC, I too had to have a quick peek. What a hoot.. You rock lady!!!!

You know if your Adelaide get together had a bit more notice I could be tempted to pop over. In fact maybe even a few of us could/would. Anyway, if this one comes off for you then maybe you'll post more warning for the next one..Good luck with the plans. Cheers.."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at March 4, 2008 10:32 AM

jenjen57.
Re your comments on ex hubby.
Diagnosis is not of alpha type.
MS

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 4, 2008 10:31 AM

Morning all,will try to do a quick catch up but think maybe I should've jumped back on before putting head to pillow. Would take too long now to comment on all that I'd like to so will do my best to keep it short.

Virgil, your take on bath, etc last night was spot on!!! A more intuned man than I thought after reading last night's posts..

Slightsync.. I added Bergamot, Ylang Ylang, Sweet Orange and Thyme essential oils. Add to that the fact that I had a bowl of mango cheeks that had been soaking in Grand Marnier for over 4 days and I was very,very relaxed by the time I crawled out of said bath. Slept like a baby too....

K... mangoes were part of "those"... Mmmm.

Nina @ 12.33am, as always, wise words of wisdom. Rarely is there anything but.. X x

Amberlight @ 12.16am. Ech your sentiments exactly.. Couldn't have put it better myself.

Best I go before I'm accussed of waffling and taking up too much space.. Must be traces of the Mango Syrup still in the system..Hic...

Have a good one all.."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at March 4, 2008 10:23 AM

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at March 4, 2008 10:06 AM

Morning SSC. I too checked out your profile and laughed.

The Adelaide meet sounds a great idea. I hope to try and make it.

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at March 4, 2008 10:19 AM

slightsynchronicity.
I saw your photos; Good stuff.
Cheers MS

wnw.
How are you defining alpha male?

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 4, 2008 10:12 AM

Hi SSC, just went and checked out your alteration to your profile.............hehehe........read what you wrote and nearly fell off the bed giggling!!!!!
Happy now Marcus ??
Shouldnt have to pander to anyone around here kiddo............have a great day :))

Posted by: jenjen57 at March 4, 2008 10:07 AM

If your mind is broad enough to believe New Age meta twaddle your brains are in danger of fallling out of your arse. Ha ha
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 4, 2008 9:45 AM

You have said that before..

Well the book by Mr Singh sounds interesting. about 100 people have mentioned the celestine prophecies to me and am curious that is all. Have you ever reading any non-dualism writings. I have spent the last year reading some Eastern thing for interest, including by a man called Baklesar...Balkesar...a guy in India who used to be a Banker. "Sin&Guilt' I think. Ummm also I read some of The Bhagvad-Gita and also The Bhagvad-Gita for Westerners, some Zen writings, David Deida..about his view on polarity. Deepak Chopra and am just exploring ideas. I am not New Age and do not need a label, do you? Maybe the Briggs Meyer stuff is crap but it is fun to do. Peace.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at March 4, 2008 10:06 AM

Woodnwine........I am another one who married an alpha male, to my detriment. When I met him I was attracted to his spontaniety, always ready to go off and do whatever, cheeky and charming, touch arrogant with tickets all over himself.........very very attractive although he is not especially good looking. What I came to realise over time, especially once we had three children, was that he was extremely self absorbed and that it was always, all about him. It just wasnt so obvious before we had the responsibilities and challenges that come with kids, mortgage and sometimes only one income. And after more than two years apart nothing has changed........he is still too busy doing his own thing to be bothered with his kids........so in my new life I am looking for a bloke that is less alpha who has solid relationships with family and friends.

Posted by: jenjen57 at March 4, 2008 10:01 AM

Marcus, I have changed my profile as you suggested by adding words to it. I added voluptuous on top, hope it makes you really happy. However the descriptive words do not fit me so am not using them. As I am not on here to find a partner as I think it is hard for people to be honest online and people email for too long etc. I simply liked the blog. Not sure at the moment and do not have time to read it all properly it seems. The thing is you need to meet people in person. what we have on here is profiles and photos. If you want airbrushed perfection go find it. Personally I think its best to be positive...you are actually rude. I do not really care what people say, but your comments were derogatory and I am a female. If you want to meet a female, perhaps you may want a glimpse into the female mind or are you looking for a sparring partner. You remind me of someone I know in Adelaide who is not an unpleasant person but certainly likes to take the opposing viewpoint. If you want to direct further critical, insulting comments to me, email me as I do not think this stuff is suitable for a public blog. It is a waste of blog space. I do not expect everyone to agree with me about anything but rudeness is not appropriate. Meet people then make your "judgement".

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at March 4, 2008 9:59 AM

Returning to the subject of the number of kisses one sends..

I am totally amazed that ANYone can find 25 people per week, (let alone in a reasonable target area), whose profile & photo are attractive enough to send a kiss...

Ditto and I just read amdoingits post about baths. Sounded divine and shame I did not read it last night.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at March 4, 2008 9:47 AM

slightsynchronicity
The Myers Briggs thing is pretty dubious really. Not discredited to the same degree that some of Jungian stuff it is based on though.
It is pretty much dinner party trick, pop psychology really though I do realise HR think they can use it. A good IQ test is more reliable. People do the MB tests many times over the years and repeatability of the 4 letter code is often under 50%.
Read a decent book on astronomy-there is one by Simon Singh that is excellent-and be amazed and informed by the extent and beauty and precision and reason of scientific endeavour.
The Celestine Prophecy is totally unsubstantiated garbage of the first order- as they say; 'in the land of the blind the one eyed is king'. If your mind is broad enough to believe New Age meta twaddle your brains are in danger of fallling out of your arse. Ha ha
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 4, 2008 9:45 AM

slightsync - I have to say from several responses/comments you have made to me that you obviously don't "get" me. If I was any more relaxed, I'd be asleep and I often think I don't try hard enough, actually. However, thanks for your concern and kind thoughts. The particular remark you were commenting on above was actually very tongue in cheek and referred to earlier comments by others about the number of kisses people send out. Cheers.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 4, 2008 9:18 AM

Oh OK WnW, I thought you were a bit down, sorry....glad that you are not. Its a matter of waiting for things to click of course. Well I did scroll down as much as possible while half asleep so probably missed the context. Most things I say are tongue in cheek. OK. Oh and I do know someone who sent out over 400 kisses recently. Then he gets confused and does not know who he is chatting with. LOL. Oh and I do not try at all, generally.
Enjoy your day :))))

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at March 4, 2008 9:42 AM

How about this topic folks (and maybe we could even find a rather obtuse way to link it to the posted topic about women contacting men). For some odd reason over the last week I have had similar conversations with about 5 people about alpha males and how they are very attractive to women as a dating option. Without exception, every woman I spoke to agreed that the alpha male was very interesting to date but also without exception they all said that he made a poor long term partner for almost exactly the same reasons he was so interesting in the first place. Two of the women I spoke to had married alpha males and divorced them and one was struggling with her marriage.

The reasons they were so attractive to date were because they are fun-loving, adventurous, always busy, off-handish in their relationship (so not at all co-dependant), gregarious etc etc. These same reasons it was agreed made them poor huisbands because they couldn't give up any of their "single" habits and were always too busy out with the boys, playing sport, partying etc to help with the kids, housework, home duties etc.

I am making no personal comments here, just passing on what I have heard people say. Maybe others have different ideas or comments .... let's hope so, then we might be able to get a productive discussion going.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 4, 2008 9:28 AM

"WnW...you think too much. It just means you are more giving surely. Just relax and
don't try so hard."

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at March 4, 2008 1:35 AM

slightsync - I have to say from several responses/comments you have made to me that you obviously don't "get" me. If I was any more relaxed, I'd be asleep and I often think I don't try hard enough, actually. However, thanks for your concern and kind thoughts. The particular remark you were commenting on above was actually very tongue in cheek and referred to earlier comments by others about the number of kisses people send out. Cheers.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 4, 2008 9:18 AM

Not out there at all Virgil. We are all different, thankfully!!, so all our relationships should bring something different into our lives. It's all a big learning and growing curve.......

Posted by: jenjen57 at March 4, 2008 9:12 AM

Adelaide (SA) and any other interested bloggers. Am attempting to organise us getting together on the weekend of the 15th. Sat 6pm or another time agreed by consensus, at a place we agree on or where I suggested. BTW...as I mentioned to virgil then promptly forgot, I am rostered on to work if needed for a big event at one of my jobs. Sunday 16th is out for me probably. Let me know if the Saturday 15th suits to meet for drinks and/ or meal The next weekend and following are out for me.

Dear Marcus, when and if I get a decent picture of myself in jeans I may post it. I have whole body pics on my profile and am working on more. And I really do not understand what you wrote about moderated posts directed at me. Most bloggers know I have little time on here. So suggestions, complaints, opinions or even really dumb and probably offensive comments could be emailed to me directly as posting it when I am unlikely to see it is sort of behind my back. I am here on the blog for the lively discussion. Debate is a bit wearying, come on, I am a law student and do not always want to take the opposing view. This blog has lots of caring, supportive posters and of course lurkers and detractors. If someone does not like us they should bugger off.....

Perhaps you are not so full of yourself in real life Marcus, you have intelligence and could be a nice guy. The skateboard shot shows humour...

Oh and for general bemusement..to the three or so bloggers who like this sort of thing..others just skim past. I did that Briggs Myer test and am more ENFP/ with quite a bit of INFP. And my least function is ISTJ at the moment.

Virgil, warm bath, cup of coffee, some nice music...maybe a book, and some essential oil such as lavender or some sort of relaxing mix.is good for a soak. Am gonna get me to a LUSH store and get some bath bombs with all luxurious things in them. Farout I must read the celestine prophecy (shut up Marcus :))))) My relaxation/way to cheer myself up is to go for a long beach/hill/anywhere nice walk...with the dog, often. I am having fun planning my OS trip..which of course may not occur when I want..am thinking Iceland maybe. Everyone we meet can enrich us, as we do not know everything. Even an opposing view can challenge us and its good to examine our motivations.

I was not sending out any interest kisses due to only being on the blog, (this is about the topic). Recently I did send a kiss to one of those alpha??? males who contacted me, however Marcus is right, I do need to spruce up my profile. Fail to see how a groin shot will help me find the type of guy I would like. I am not on L***life Intimates and that place makes me ill. (You would disagree maybe Marcus, but how dull the world would be if we were all the same!!!!!!!!!!!! Each to their own. Marcus...do you know where you are on the Myer-Briggs thing?

It has been disappointing to read the negative posts between some male bloggers. You would probably get on well in real life over a few beers. Spend a stamp and say it in "person". Or get a headset and download Skype then you can have the pleasure of one more dimension to this. (I have no headset..but I do have a Womadelaide ticket- Sarah Blasko is one of my favourites as you all really want to know)

Willow, I think its cool that you wear jamas..and I was only thinking of your best romantic interests with my post. Some people may think flannelete is sexy. However is sure is comfy : )))

SSC

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at March 4, 2008 9:11 AM

I just finished reading last night's posts and would like to basically agree with thelynathdiary, decoratress and virgil about some people sending out too many kisses. I also believe we should be selective in who we send them to because there doesn't seem to be any point in meeting someone that we would have nothing in common with. I agree that it isn't simply a case of getting bums on seats but rather hoping to meet someone we could really hit it off with.

Currently I am unable to find anyone in my area to send a kiss to but hopefully new members will join soon and that will change things or possibly I will stumble accross someone I have missed (for some reason this happens from time to time) or someone I have missed will find me. Then there are all those hundreds of profiles with no photos....yes, I do read them occassionally too.

Having said all this however, we must factor in that often the best research (profile scrutinising) proves inaffective when it comes time to meet and we are sometimes surprised when we meet someone we thought were a real "outside" chance so, whilst sticking to your core values, keep an open mind.

Good luck everyone.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 4, 2008 9:08 AM

This may be a bit "out there" for some, but the Celestine Prophecy books talk about meeting people, these people have a message for us. So it could be, that we form relationships, then break up, or lose contact fairly quickly with that person.

Rather than feeling bad mad or sad, one could ask themself, what did this person bring to my life, usually it is something, an interest you hadn't thought of, or even the way some people, women particularly can nurture themselves, in ways most blokes have not thought of.

Things I have noticed that women do that blokes do not usually do are to make a nice bath, maybe with radox, then get some chockies, a book and some white wine (sparkling). This is done not as part of a lovemaking ritual with a partner, but as a little treat for ones self.

Another thing I have noticed, is that some women I have known can be quite adventurous, and drive off into the country book into a motel, usually eat early, before restaurants fill with couples, then on the Sunday morning, go to a cafe and have a leisurely breakfast while reading the Sunday papers.

Posted by: virgil at March 4, 2008 8:35 AM

Have taken on board comments about finding the special person who matches most criteria but I really don't think one will ever find the perfect match, so to speak. We all have differences and in any relationship it can be about sharing those differences and learning something new rather than thinking I will change that person to suit me. I learant a lot from my last partner from the simple things of caring in the smallest way to great cooking lessons.And I'm sure in every relationship both people do their own thing whether it be a hobby,watch a particular tv program we detest or even have a different workload that needs attention but we allow them this freedom because we trust and respect their differences.
Besides it is fun meeting new people and possibly making a new friend that is not going to be your partner for life.
Gosh some of you stay up late-you musn't need a smuch beauty sleep as me.Have a great day everyone.

Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 4, 2008 7:38 AM

slightsynchronicity 1:54
Thanks for the meeting tip.
As it happens I am not caught up in the PC femmo thing. Women are not objects, (obviously), but nor are they deitys.
Modern feminists, in the Maureen Dowd mould for instance, understand the male processes and are not offended when men are honest about that part of their selection criteria. Some aspects of proto feminism has done womens causes a lot of harm and filled girls heads with poor ideas.

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 4, 2008 5:54 AM

Hi again. Back at last. I was just driving up the road towards my cooked-for-me steak when FD67 (now promoted to my dear sister-surrogate) phoned, wanting to join me immediately whereever, to buy me a coffee.

Fortunately I was not out on a date tonight. She soon arrived and we helped each other's current diets by her eating half of my dinner. (They always give you more than you need - especially the veges that you serve for yourself.)

Then the evil temptress offered me cake and coffee for only $5, and her paying for it and her coffee too. I was not able to resist her sly urgings, but I made her eat half the cake, and every finger-chased last skerrick of the optional-extra mountain of whipped cream.

We talked joyously for hours. Very fond of her, but don't take to her boyfriend. Obviously doesn't deserve her.

And you have all been busy, while I was away.

I was rather disappointed with oldcodger72's crankiness tonight, and yes, I too share someone's suspicions that the turps may have been involved, as I seem to recall, it had been on another Monday night. Seems to take some other blokes that we know in the same way, eh?

Unfortunately for my reputation as a 'real man', the grog just makes me even more boringly happy and banal. "In vino vertitas", or to translate from the Latin: "Hard not to show your real self, when you're drunk."

So girls, Rule (1): get him drunk on the second date, before you invest too much time into him.

And blokes, Rule (2): get her drunk on every date after the third, provided it has the effect you hoped for. (A fellow doesn't want to seem too desperate, by pushing his luck too soon.). And if YOU don't like what SHE becomes when tipsy, send out another batch of kisses.

Someone asked about success rates. In 2 years I've sent out nearly 300 kisses - about 3 a week. Carefully chosen - must have none of the "veto factors" that I explained a week or so ago, and anough positive stuff in her profile to make me want to meet her once, to let me find out if I then want a second date.

Success rate? Pretty consistent. About 1 in 3 ask for an email, and 90% of those lead to a date, usually within 1 to 3 weeks.

1 in 3 soon say "No thanks, you're not on my shopping list", and the last third don't bother to give their rejects any reply at all.

These are nearly always the prettiest ones. I used to rail about their selfishness (I still was, only 5 months ago, when I started blogging,) but now I'm delighted when it happens - I know how interested that person is in the rights of others to expect good manners from her, and I'm glad to be warned about her self-centredness. NEXT!!

TLD's main post was excellent as usual - that's the one thing I agreed with in oldcodger72/oldergent's posts tonight.

Virgil: You, WnW and Sydney Bob are the main matinee idols here. Good blokes that a man would introduce his sister to. Hang around, mate, and keep reminding us what decent values sound like.

And willow: You continue to delight me too.
At least your every second post makes me laugh out loud, and that's good for my health. Your zany humour and skill with words are really welcome.

I believe a good blog should be like a good newspaper, by including 3 elements:

1) News, like where and when is the next actual blogpostermeet, or the next willow virtual feast.
(Oh BTW willow: I just virtually tried on my crocodile surfing teeshirt, and it virtually fits me already, in spite of Sue's cake tonight.),

2) Meaty discussion of significant topics by savants like TLD, ISTJ and NF-being + for quality, and me for quantity, and

3) Light fluffy merangues and pavlovas to delight us, usually from willow and jenjen. Without these, the blogs are heavy unleavened bread.

Lookit the time! Night night any remaining owls.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 4, 2008 2:54 AM

laughsandtalks
Women are not objects and there are other sites such as lavalife which have an intimates section that you may want to post on. I am not the only one who objected to your description of body parts of women, you wished to see.

My social life is fine and I have moved on from the penpal who chose the local option, OK.. Hope that you get some response and good on you for sending out 100 kisses.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at March 4, 2008 1:54 AM

OMG ... I've sent almost exactly twice as many kisses as I've received ... does that make me desperate? And only 5 women have me listed in their favourites ... frankly I'm bl..dy heartbroken. Is there no hope for this bloke? Fish .... what do you rekon, you know everything even though I'm still waiting for your reply to my last question. Is this a conspiracy? Any theories? Who knows who?

Posted by: woodnwine at March 3, 2008 8:57 PM

WnW...you think too much. It just means you are more giving surely. Just relax and
don't try so hard.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at March 4, 2008 1:35 AM

Yes SCC (Sue) contacted me and I would love to come. I'm not sure when it is. I forgot to include my 'phone number in my email, but I have hers. I will ring her. It would be nice to catch up and put a real face to the names! (yes, I know most of us have photos but it's nicer to meet face-to-face). I live about 80 kms from Adelaide so I'm not familiar with venues in the CBD, etc, but I'm sure someone will help me!

Posted by: amberlight58 at March 4, 2008 12:36 AM

Hi amberlight..was a bit busy with the Womadelaide thing. I can manage Sat 15th March...6pm onwards or Sunday daytime for a get together. Get back to me if either suits u...I have written a suggested venue in email and anywhere is fine but think city could be easier.

TrumansCat, i can't email you are hidden, but you may like to go to this proposed meetup.
SSC

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at March 4, 2008 1:26 AM

Exactly, AmberLight. 'night all.

Posted by: ninaschen at March 4, 2008 1:07 AM

Cheers Virgil.
I have the skateboard under my arm to put a bit of levity and boyishness into proceedings.
It is not my only form of transport. I learnt that the other 4 wheeled vehicle shot of me with the well engineered sports car was subject to glib assesment. Given that my theory is not to take anything here too seriously the nephews board fitted the theme.
Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 4, 2008 12:58 AM

I also have SSC's phone number and email and have come here from WA last August, I live in Hove, which is a beachside suburb next to Brighton.
It would be nice to meet you amberlight, and of course any other bloggers who would enjoy coming to Adelaide.

I once used MiRC a few years ago, and we had regular bloggers meets, and when visitors were able to come to Perth we always had special meets for them.

I would like to thank all those people who had kind words for Willow and myself tonight, as I have previously mentioned some, thanks amberlight and ninaschen.

It was an interesting night and I feel it is time for me to go to bed so goodnight all from Doug

Posted by: virgil at March 4, 2008 12:54 AM

Yes SCC (Sue) contacted me and I would love to come. I'm not sure when it is. I forgot to include my 'phone number in my email, but I have hers. I will ring her. It would be nice to catch up and put a real face to the names! (yes, I know most of us have photos but it's nicer to meet face-to-face). I live about 80 kms from Adelaide so I'm not familiar with venues in the CBD, etc, but I'm sure someone will help me!

Posted by: amberlight58 at March 4, 2008 12:36 AM

Thank you amberlight for the really nice things you say to me.

It was a lovely time, we have moved on, as people do, but will always have a great deal of affection for the other.

I think there is a SA bloggers meet coming up soon, I am hoping to be there

Posted by: virgil at March 4, 2008 12:24 AM

Virgil,
Maybe it was because you were both willing to listen that helped to change each other's views. If we can listen and accept the other person's viewpoint without feeling threatened, then we can perhaps understand and 'see' where the other person is coming from.
It is when people are of the viewpoint that their opinion and only those who agree with them are 'right', that makes others not feel accepted and also feel that they need to defend their viewpoint.
You and your previous partner despite your 'generation gap' were obviously willing to accept and respect each other's differences, which is probably why your relationship lasted such a long time

Also I enjoy Willow's banter, yes sometimes he is a bit left-field and you think to yourself......what the.........?!
But he often acts as a circuit-breaker when things are getting too heavy on here and he can be serious.......sometimes!

The same with you Virgil, you often say something that is quite insightful in the nicest way and you can also circuit-break some of the nastier discussions.
Sometimes it takes a real man to know when to back off
(I would not be alone I am sure in saying that you and Willow are very respectful towards the ladies on these blogs and we appreciate it)

Posted by: amberlight58 at March 4, 2008 12:16 AM

i think it's a great thing that you've taken such positive attitudes and views away from the relationship and also that you've been able to look passed the age difference. I'm sure there's no doubt that you are both better people for it.

Giving it a chance is half the battle isn't it?

Posted by: impossiblebean at March 4, 2008 12:14 AM

18 and a half years, impossible bean.

I initially thought no chance at a previous meeting about a year earlier, but a year or so later, we were in a whirlwind romance, that started in top gear and stayed there for nearly 4 years.

Posted by: virgil at March 4, 2008 12:12 AM

Virgil, if its not too rude to ask, what is the age difference?

Posted by: impossiblebean at March 4, 2008 12:03 AM

I also have a much greater appreciation for the benefits of meditation, in a way to turn off my thinking processes for a time and just be, in the moment.

Decoratess, on the subject of kisses, I totally agree, in the last month I have sent 2 kisses,and received 16. 6 people have added me to their favorites, and I have added one favorite only. This person lives just out of Melbourne, but I was so impressed with what was said, in the proffile I added her to my favorites.

I am definitely after quality, not quanity

Posted by: virgil at March 3, 2008 11:58 PM

I became much more environmentally aware, much more willing to choose ABC over commercial networks.

I enjoy walking now much more, have a much gtreater appreciation of the natural world, flowers, flower remedies.

I much more often choose healthy, and often vegetarian food.

My partner has a much greater appreciation of followers of AFL, how I would prepare for a TV game, ensuring adequate supplies of beer and snack food, and on the alternate week jumping on a bus to go to Subiaco with 43,000 other Eagles supporters.

Posted by: virgil at March 3, 2008 11:48 PM

Posted by: greattimestocome at March 3, 2008 10:26 PM

You're welcome and thanks for a great weekend, it was fun.

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at March 3, 2008 11:37 PM

Agree with you totally Decoratress.. Now I am going.... "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at March 3, 2008 11:36 PM

Virgil, in fairness, maybe you didn't actually change... Maybe it was just some of your views, etc that did... Just a thought???? "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at March 3, 2008 11:34 PM

Returning to the subject of the number of kisses one sends..

I am totally amazed that ANYone can find 25 people per week, (let alone in a reasonable target area), whose profile & photo are attractive enough to send a kiss...

We're all different in this respect, as with most things- which is why tolerance is so important. Personally I would be lucky to send one kiss per week. The widespread trawl approach isn't for me (send enough kisses & a percentage will pay off..)

Some people will be happy with companionship & a reasonable level of compatibility..
..however I'm looking for magic, not mundane, & am quite happy to be single unless & until...
like I say- we are all different.

Posted by: decoratress at March 3, 2008 11:34 PM

I guess that was our secret, Lynath that neither of us entered into the relationship with the view of changing the other, I think that just happened over a period of time.

In many small ways, to the extent that each of our world views were changed to see both sides of the whole.

Posted by: virgil at March 3, 2008 11:30 PM

Can somebody explain to me what the phrase means 'not afraid to show affection in public'. I see this on quite a few of the male profiles and it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. Does that mean that the guy is going to jump all over you in a public place or does that mean, maybe, holding your hand. Whatever it means it seems to me an odd statement as I don't feel the need to put on public displays for anyone. Also, if you are the type of person with a leaning toward public displays who are you afraid of. I am not a person who likes public displays and actually find it quite nauseating at times to see people hanging all over each other, however, if I were that way I would not be 'afraid'. I can't work out what this means so I tend to steer clear of that kind of person who writes that in their profile.

Posted by: iaminperth at March 3, 2008 11:25 PM

Kaz & Lynath
I have certainly changed my mind on the subject of a relationship with someone with much diiferent worldview to mine. My last partner of 4 years plus, is a genreation younger than myself, with widely different views on most subjects.

After our time together, it would be fair to say we had much more common views than I ever would have thought possible.

It is amazing how views can change when there is real love and gentleness in the relationship

Posted by: virgil at March 3, 2008 11:20 PM

Lynath, great post and l would also like to add that eventually the real person does show themselves and all of the light bulbs that have clicked a little in your head glow with incandecence when all of the clues / hints fit the jigsaw puzzle.......................K

Posted by: auntykaz at March 3, 2008 11:01 PM

Exackery! Um, my friend has pink Pjs with green frogs (just like kittens) and it says "Toadily Cool", her mother bought them for her.... should she maybe get out more... says me blogging away

Posted by: impossiblebean at March 3, 2008 10:53 PM

Impossible bean l am off to put on my purlpe princess jarmies make a milo a hit the sack....Hey it works for me on a Monday......K

Posted by: auntykaz at March 3, 2008 10:52 PM

blueeyes55..agree there are plenty that can interest, but I also keep in mind that it is dangerous to go into a relationship with the idea in the back of the mind that the person will change for you or that you can become the person they want. You can't change people ,and you shouldn't try, it only leads to unhappiness later when the real person with major differences in values, lifestyles, interests etc emerges again.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at March 3, 2008 10:52 PM

After 30 years I'd be taking whatever I could get Bean!!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at March 3, 2008 10:49 PM

I should add - not that anything untoward was happening with said ted :) ...can we talk about pj's again??!!

Posted by: impossiblebean at March 3, 2008 10:46 PM

I tried that jenjen but found ted was the most consistent within the bedroom realm!

Posted by: impossiblebean at March 3, 2008 10:45 PM

Bean.........when you are past 30 I respectfully suggest you can sleep with what/whoever floats your boat :)

Posted by: jenjen57 at March 3, 2008 10:42 PM

willow I for one enjoy your posts immensely. Essays can be very hard going at times.

I'd like to know if it's wrong to sleep with a teddy bear past the age of 30.

Send as many kisses as you like as long as they're genuine :)

Bean

Posted by: impossiblebean at March 3, 2008 10:40 PM

Hyanth,
my respect for you grows with each serious post you make @10.11 (along with your computer advice) that is the best I have read since I have been on RSVP and should be enshrined in the starters page, if they ever had the courtesy to have one. to round off your last line "please do not waste a stamp on me"
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at March 3, 2008 10:35 PM

Thanks Kitten and Willow....it's nice not to worry so much about something I could do so little about...

I hardly think reading blogs teaches anyone what a man is .... some of us adults are still working that little number out.....OG if there is nothing in the posts why read and/or comment?

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at March 3, 2008 10:33 PM

Lynath, I know where you are coming from, not a numbers game for me either.

OG, you have your wish, it is time for me go so I will not bore you any more this week. Enjoy your blogs for the week, I cannot be bothered with intolerance.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 3, 2008 10:31 PM

Greetings All...

Kitten.. tks for the x

Lynath (2012-03mar). Well said!!

So which ladies proposed on the 29th??

GTTC

Posted by: greattimestocome at March 3, 2008 10:26 PM

Lynath, I understand your thoughts on sending kisses and I for one don't send those who interest are totally around the beach, water sports and the snow. Being fairskinned taught me many moons ago that I will never be a beach babe.
But on the other hand there are many who seem compatible and yet on meeting that idea flies out the window fast. Met a fellow who described himself as a fit man. We had met for a drink and possibly lunch. It was only midday and as he downed his 3rd beer whilst simultaneously chewing gum, he said that he still felt seedy from a heavy drinking activity the night before and was now going home to bed.
Moral-you can't judge a book by it's cover. Sometimes those whom you don't think would interest you turn around and surprise you when you actually meet.

Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 3, 2008 10:24 PM

I don't get the sending kisses out to as many as possible.
Is the aim of the exercise to meet someone to whom you are attracted and who might return some interest?
Or is it just to "put bums on seats" to use a bit of theatre jargon....
Knowing that men(and women) send out hundreds of kisses on the off chance that someone will respond is very, very offputting. About as personal ,and thoughtful and cheap as those flyers that get shoved in the letterbox daily, or the spam that arrives via email.

This is what leads to email stamp wastage.

If I send a kiss it is with genuine thought behind it. Before I send my profile or when I receive a profile I look at it carefully, and I decide whether or not the person is firstly attractive to ME(has no relevance as to whether they are attractive to someone else) and whether or not I fit the type of person they are hoping to find.
I read everything they have to say and think about it carefully. I answer a few questions about my motivation and only then if everything is right enough to allow the best possible chance of success do I send or ask for an email.
For instance, there are plenty of great guys who have sent me kisses, but maybe on their profile they say they love 4wd and camping and have a great big dog. No matter how physically attractive the person is, and how tempting the contact is,I know that I hate 4wd and am not keen on camping and have a lifelong fear of dogs. So to save all the pain I just say no.
If it means I wait a bit longer then that is okay , but I am not wasting someone's time or money. The older a person gets the more they should be aware of what they really want and what they are really like. I just wish there was a reply that sais something along the lines of "I know you are not right for me but thanks for the comliment"

Posted by: thelynathdiary at March 3, 2008 10:12 PM

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at March 3, 2008 10:06 PM

I am sooo pleased for you ... what a relief

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at March 3, 2008 10:11 PM

wishful, excellent news about the hairy one. Thanks for the support on behalf of both virgil and I.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 3, 2008 10:11 PM

Marcus
i think you are selling yourself short there, You appear pretty well preserved for your stated age.
Very courageous to have an RSVP profile shot taken with a skateboard under your arm.
How do I measure success in terms of kiss replies? That would be when I get a positive response to a kiss, so I would say I have been very successful on that score.

I would also measure success when lovely women send me kisses, especially ones that live close by, and support the Crows and spend time at weekends listening to quality bands in Glenelg.

Posted by: virgil at March 3, 2008 10:11 PM

An observation (or 3):
I've noticed that men, when describing their ideal partener, request that they be younger then they are and shorter than they are. It's also been my observation that men who describe themselves as "athletic" are generally overweight. Anyone else noticed this?

Posted by: feathertop at March 3, 2008 10:10 PM

Willow, my pj's thank you for being elevated to cool status.

I can talk about this sort of stuff, but would rather not :-

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at March 3, 2008 10:10 PM

Yes Kitten...we had a breakthrough this morning...no more handfeeding.....phew :)

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at March 3, 2008 10:06 PM

kitten, never. Your PJ's are cool but OG says we cannot discuss because it is unmanly.

Would you like to discuss compression ratios, limited slip diffs, thrust, torque or something along these lines.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 3, 2008 10:02 PM

Hey wishfulthinker03, is the gorgeous "other man" in your life feeling better?

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at March 3, 2008 10:01 PM

Thanks Weta, l thought you would let me know... thats why l didn't get the dictionary!!!!
As for you being uncommon, well lets just say you have an esoteric style......highly so.....in language as well as everything else.....see l am using my new language skills already.................K

Posted by: auntykaz at March 3, 2008 9:57 PM

Posted by: willow1059 at March 3, 2008 8:50 PM

.. ummm ..... I think I just got insulted or was it just the pj's? :-

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at March 3, 2008 9:54 PM

....take the flattery every time kaz....it's just another word for unique and individualistic really....and You know me - why use a common word when an uncommon one exists...I'm just doing my bit to keep the language alive - and irritate a few language nazis off into the bargain.....

Posted by: weta at March 3, 2008 9:48 PM

OG. Ditto.

Virgil, how do you judge 'success rate' of kisses? A reply of any sort, corresponding, a date or a shag, or a long term monagamous relationship?

I reckon a 25% positive response for a bloke with my looks is good...

Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 3, 2008 9:47 PM

Willow, stick to dividing by lots of ten. The maths might be a lot easier for you. Throw away the remainders-don't need to confuse you anymore than necessary.
Virgil-my analogy to sending out kisses.
If you need a leaking pipe fixed-you ring 10 plumbers, 8 return your call, 5 actually turn up to quote and only 2 return a written quote in the mail. So keep sending out kisses.

Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 3, 2008 9:47 PM

Thankyou Willow. Calling us Antiques - Nah! I can perhaps accept vintage. (And a nice vintage at that.) Is a much nicer mellow type of word, don't you think?
Oh and re the name JenJen. Get called that a lot and actually tried to get it as my RSVP name, but alas was gone. (As it should be really!) JenJen has already said hello to me.
Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at March 3, 2008 9:42 PM

One is assuming a 100% success rate on 100 kisses.

What is everybodies experience regarding the success rate of kisses?

I suppose that could be subjective, because If we send kisses To some who we might reasonably expect to receive a positive response from, as oppossed to maybe choosing what we expect to be a more difficult target market, there could be a significant difference in the positive/negative reaction to our kisses.

Posted by: virgil at March 3, 2008 9:35 PM

Hi jenhi, welcome. I'll call you this otherwise you may get confused with jenjen.

Yes I was just checking your profile out Ms Antiques. Sorry about the topic tangent problem, not much hope of it staying on topic when I am around. Add in the stirrers and the ladies who love to tease then you end up somewhere over the rainbow, most likely in bed with flowers.

Now antiques could be a great blog topic especially with so many of us that age our children would adorn us with that tag.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 3, 2008 9:35 PM

Nah Willow that was Louey the fly......

Fearlss the fly was a cartoon years ago....
Sort of round the same time as Prince Planet......
Now theres another one for you....Forgot about Prince Planet......he wore a nice blue cossie.

Or Batfink...sorta in the same vein as Batman, but really a bat.
And l quote "my wings are like a shield of steel"
Clearly l watched to many superhero cartoons as a young girlie.............K

Posted by: auntykaz at March 3, 2008 9:31 PM

You guys make me laugh so much. Just when you want to jump in on something, the topic flys off in another direction. But it's such fun following. (Or trying to follow. lol.) Oh and I've wanted to say - love your profile Willow and also the new Hippiest - so funny.
Jen

Posted by: jenniferhi at March 3, 2008 9:27 PM

Kaz, as in the Mortein ad?

Since I love the beach so much perhaps the Marine Boy suit.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 3, 2008 9:21 PM

Thanks virgil.

Blueeyes, you maths is astounding. Do you know I am still trying to count those 100 kisses Marcus sends on my fingers. I'm not quite sure about how to the division by days using my fingers but I do have a saw nearby so that may assist.

Any suggestions about which bits I should amputate to achieve the desired product. Also, if I have a remainder should I just leave it or throw it away?

Posted by: willow1059 at March 3, 2008 9:12 PM

Thanks thelynathdairy.
Funny you mention the zoo. Here I met and dated 3 or 4 times a well known American Zoo director who was behind the expensive and somewhat controversial importation of Thai elephants to Melbourne. See 'brachylagus'
The first meeting happened a lot quicker than 7 weeks and didn't walk because we differed on religion.
W&W. Bigger population here. Whichever way you look at it RSVP has a lot of lottery elements to it so numbers over time matter.
I prefer to meet rather than talk on the phone
for various reasons. One is I lost quite a bit of hearing in an explosion 20 years ago.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 3, 2008 9:11 PM

oOh dear the superman suit was going tp tonight's offering, Willow........
Have to put my thinking cap on now...

What about a fearless the fly outfit then......
Complete with oversize spectacles........K

Posted by: auntykaz at March 3, 2008 9:09 PM

the game is at AAMI stadium at 6.50pm and the footy express is running

Posted by: virgil at March 3, 2008 9:08 PM

Weta l don't think anyone has ever called me esoteric before.....
Should l be flattered or appalled????.
In the food vein still, curried chicken with apricots and green beans over steamed basmati rice.
Pretty basic for a Monday night, but then effort in cooking is not one of my forte's.

Unless l am doing a roast.............K

Posted by: auntykaz at March 3, 2008 9:07 PM

virgil, hell finish the story, is the game still at FP or did the Crows agree to move it?

As for shoes to bed, no it just seemed to be the only thing no-one had objections to.

I am grateful the Superman suit was not suggested for bedware, even I do not wear my undies on the outside.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 3, 2008 9:02 PM

If we do our maths correctly, it would probably take Marcus 7 weeks to find time to fit in a meeting. If he sends out 100 kisses a month then even at the rate of meeting one per day, it would actually take him 3 months to meet every one of them. So my maths suggests that he gets to meet at least 2 per day in order to meet each one by week 7. Maybe the rest of us are all doing it wrong.

Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 3, 2008 8:58 PM

OMG ... I've sent almost exactly twice as many kisses as I've received ... does that make me desperate? And only 5 women have me listed in their favourites ... frankly I'm bl..dy heartbroken. Is there no hope for this bloke? Fish .... what do you rekon, you know everything even though I'm still waiting for your reply to my last question. Is this a conspiracy? Any theories? Who knows who?

Posted by: woodnwine at March 3, 2008 8:57 PM

...kaz....that's a very esoteric last line....

:>)

...J...

Posted by: weta at March 3, 2008 8:56 PM

you wear nothing to bed but shoes willow?

Maybe shoes indicate a need to get away quickly?

On a different matter, seems the AFL offered Adelaide some financial incentives to transfer Saturdays NAB Grand Final to Melbourne.

The hide of the AFL knows no bounds, just because Adelaide has the festival, Womadelaide and the cricket here on the same weekend, the AFL was thinking they wouldnt get a crowd.

Posted by: virgil at March 3, 2008 8:55 PM

7 weeks Marcus? That's how long it took her to get there to meet you? I suggest it would be easier for you to drive to the zoo.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at March 3, 2008 8:52 PM

Marcus - I wish I could find 100 women to send kisses to ... at least then I could live in hope. Maybe you are less selective than me .... my loss or yours? I wonder....

Posted by: woodnwine at March 3, 2008 8:52 PM

I wonder what someone else is eating tonight.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 3, 2008 8:50 PM

WnW 9:01AM, "Careful Willow ... you don't want to be mistaken for the man in black."

Are you kidding WnW, after what I have been dressed in during yesterdays blogs MiB seems tame. Even green yucky stuff cannot be worse than sleeping with frogs and other animals. I guess the good news is no-one proposed snails.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 3, 2008 8:50 PM

In the vein of someone else .... spag bog tonight but with capsium, mushrooms, sweet chili sauce & worchestershire sauce ... very yummy but unfortunately no one to share it with ... again. F .. it.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 3, 2008 8:49 PM

If MArcus sends a 100 per month then he needn't put any criteria down for what he is looking for as surely that many women don't fit his requirements.

Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 3, 2008 8:46 PM

Willow, what are you willing to put up with for peace on a Monday night then......

Marcus, l think that the quicker communication is established the better really......
whether it be email or phone discussion doesn't really bother me though.....
I take it all in my stride and see what works best for me......

Are you saying that you have personally sent 100 kisses ?????

Out if curiosity what has ben your srtike rate??...................K

Posted by: auntykaz at March 3, 2008 8:45 PM

amdoingit, willow says hello before I forget then get chastised again.

Thankfully the topic has moved away from my night time attire now I have slept naked except for my shoes.

The things willow puts up with just to keep the peace on a sunday night.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 3, 2008 8:38 PM

hippest 12:35 "Ah virgil, glad to know RSVP treats us all with equal disdain. I had indeed copied/pasted after the first refusal, and on your advice will continue to."

It appears you have suffered the RSVP blogger yips like blueeyes.

That is one wicked profile you have, you do have a "grave sense of humour", nearly killed me laughing. Even weirder than willows I think.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 3, 2008 8:29 PM

Is a bloke who sends 100 kisses a month trying too hard?
Cheers Marcus

hmmm the word desperate comes to mind

Posted by: virgil at March 3, 2008 8:21 PM

Laughingman..I believe contact should be made reasonably soon. For me, emails are just an initial contact and to gauge a little of what makes the other tick. It's not always an accurate indication though as people can take till forever to get an email right plus the emails can be written by a 3rd party too. Believe me that has happened to me as some of you know. I like to talk on phone asap as it's so much easier when responses have to be spontaneous. If phone conversation flows and I feel comfortable then I like to meet asap. No point in continuing with the emails or phone if you don't feel right. Better to find out sooner rather than later. I've met a person as soon as 3 days after initial kiss and longest I've waited is 3 weeks. That's my take on it anyway but we are all different and what works for one doesn't work for another.. "G"...

Posted by: amdoingit at March 3, 2008 8:21 PM

Marcus, 100 kisses a month. Are there any women left you have not kissed.

Clearly I have not learned how to bat yet because I would not have sent half that in a year. No wonder I am still single!

Posted by: willow1059 at March 3, 2008 8:19 PM

kaz I agree Valentines Day is done and dusted, but I think we broke topic ages ago.

Since food is on topic at the moment I must say both the steak and steak sandwich sound great, especially if it is with the lot.

Too late for tonight so I shall ponder lunch tomorrow. A beef parmi, crumbed calimari, perhaps canneloni such as WnW had last night. No, meat ravioli with parmesan on top sounds great. I think an early lunch around 12 sounds good, my mouth is watering already.

Welcome back blueeyes, nice to see the willow fix worked for you.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 3, 2008 8:15 PM

Marcus, you aren't serious are you? Unless distance is the problem then I prefer to meet sooner than later. How do you know that the person you are emailing is really the same person you are going to meet? They could have a friend sitting there helping them write their emails. And yes, I found one of those sorts.

Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 3, 2008 8:09 PM

Dream4 ever-are you reading the blogs? Lithgow is a long way away but your smile is radiating. Check him out local girls.

Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 3, 2008 8:06 PM

Well do any of the female contributors want to suggest how to say hello (or not) to someone who is interested in them?
How long do the girls think is a reasonable waiting time before meeting after contact.
My most recent date was slightly taken aback when I mentioned that I had been patient to wait the 7 weeks or so.
Is a bloke who sends 100 kisses a month trying too hard?
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 3, 2008 8:00 PM

Timewarp, are you offering me a dinner out? pity you only live up the road in QLD. I might need more than my overnight bag for that visit.
Was having trouble blogging. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight to the post and was not appearing for over 15 hours. Willow was to the rescue and after trying a number of things it appears to be working. Must behave incase the gremlins get me again.
I told my almost 20m year old daughter she had to cook on Mondays -her day off. She only moved back home 2 weeks ago. She made me a steak sandwich. I guess I am grateful it wasn't baked beans on toast.

Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 3, 2008 7:51 PM

Yummy dinner on the stove here too WnW, though a bit too warm to cook, kids require a meal in their belly and its my turn to cook tonight....
I hate it when its my turn to cook..........

Do we want to continually blog about Valentines Day though......
That was last month for goodness sake.........K

Posted by: auntykaz at March 3, 2008 7:43 PM

Blueeyes: Try what?

Cheap Monday steak dinner at a Club 2km up the road. Seeyez.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 3, 2008 7:41 PM

WnW, since when has the topic stopped you or others. Just do what we always do, ignore it.

Back later.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 3, 2008 7:33 PM

Well, dinner's on the stove so I stop into the blogs for a while but nothing .... must be the lousy topic.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 3, 2008 7:29 PM

Willow says to try this 2-5 times so sorry everyone if you get sick of this.

Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 3, 2008 7:22 PM

Marcus: Just back for a moment.

Certainly hadn't thought you'd give them anthropomorphic names - too affectionate - just mental handes like Bighead, Kinktail or such. How do you identify them in your head?

Delighted that they're used enough to you to let you handle them, and didn't know they enjoyed a scratch in appropriate places. Did you read where, or trial and error?

Rent to pay, so back to work.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 3, 2008 4:05 PM

Timewarped
No names needed for lizards; they are just a handle.
They eat a wide variety of food, almost anything we will, though that is not always good. Live food like crickets grasshoppers and beetles, earthworms, larvae soft fruit, some flowers. They scavenge too and I feed mine the odd nestling/fledgling bird.
Loaf style cat food has almost all the nutrients they need so that is the usual once or twice a week protein fare.
I like 'em precisely because their behaviour is not an artefact of human interference like a dogs is. Mind you they like a behind the ear or a tummy rub the same as almost anything.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 3, 2008 2:48 PM

Hippest @ 1.19pm: Thank you. Raincheck filed in my glovebox.

Neck braces? Don't know about you. Guess it depends how many fellers you've emphatically said No to, by the time I get there. Coupla hundred, if you get the kisses you deserve.

Hope I won't need my neckbrace by then - I've tried to keep away from Madam Lash's whip, ever since I totalled my '85 323 wagon in '95, going to sleep at the wheel at midnight on my way home from work, and driving straight into the back of a parked truck.

Never again - now work from home. But have to head out now, to pick up from my welding subbie. Seeyez.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 3, 2008 1:43 PM

Hippest: Good hunting, but he'll be a pretty classy act to deserve a place in your band.

Off to work again. Seeyezall.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 3, 2008 1:28 PM

Marcus: What do you? And does she? And if so, what is it? Do tell!
(re mine @ 12.13pm)

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 3, 2008 1:24 PM

Ooh timewarp, missed your plea while typing. Conditions accepted - we could wear neckbraces if you think that would help.

And now I'm really off ... cheers

Posted by: survivalofthehippest at March 3, 2008 1:19 PM

PS to Hippest: Need long-duration, later-renounceable raincheck please - unlikely to get as far as N'castle this calendar year, unless I get significantly richer sooner.

But it's on my wish-list - like to meet a certain older gent too.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 3, 2008 1:14 PM

... ahhh, the penny just dropped, Marcus!!

... they are part of your subjective sense of humour ... sorry to be so slow there!

Cheers!

Posted by: decoratress at March 3, 2008 1:14 PM

Having finally made it past the blog checkpoint to free-range posting I'm loathe to leave in case my visa is revoked. But I must go down the big smoke to meet a fella and be shyly demure. Quite possibly he'll think I'm awful or I'll think he's awful - or maybe not.

ttfn
(tata for now)

Posted by: survivalofthehippest at March 3, 2008 1:13 PM

Marcus...

I worded my post badly, I apologise.

When I said "huskies, which are not bred in Australia" I meant "those huskies which are not bred in Australia".

Of course they are bred here, although some people import dogs from Canada, etc., & these are the dogs who suffer the most in our climate. Huskies bred here have become somewhat adapted to the warmer climate, although I personally would not choose to own a breed suited to arctic conditions.

My comments referring to intelligent & lively debate simply queried whether the use of personal insults in your posts was constructive in some way that I'm missing....?

Posted by: decoratress at March 3, 2008 1:06 PM

Hippest @ 11.56am: Once they finally recognise your pleading voice, they come across sooner. Could they be female?

And many thanks for your very kind offer to share a local bilateral talking table with you, when I'm next passing.

May I take out a formal raincheck? My conditions are few: the talking table only requires also to be equipped with knives and forks, and a waiter to bring food now and then.

I find bilateral conversations tire me a lot faster than the usual kind. And soon make me hungry - all that tennis-watching-style head-turning, to let me speak laterally out of the side of my mouth, and then when necessary, head-rotate 150 degrees in an instant, to hear your reply with whichever ear is clocked on at the time.

And whichever ear is functioning that day, the need to make successive statements from alternate sides of the mouth is very tiring for the head-rotating muscles.

Couldn't we just have a conventional tete-a-tete, facing one another across the table? That would be a kindness to a slightly-wrinkly man who is more used to playing tennis than watching it from the umpire's couch.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 3, 2008 12:59 PM

Bloke might be an Advanced Hair Studio client.
I thinks their looks are supposed to be shyly demure.
No rings in evidence so might be a speed date rather than pre nups.
MS

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 3, 2008 12:45 PM

Ah virgil, glad to know RSVP treats us all with equal disdain. I had indeed copied/pasted after the first refusal, and on your advice will continue to.

The couple above ... she looks embarrassed, he looks amused. Not the best pic to choose to illustrate Leap-Year-Ladies Proposals methinks.

Posted by: survivalofthehippest at March 3, 2008 12:35 PM

By the way laughs......
Maybe the woman who cuts the balls off her dog because she didnt like the look of them should be publicly outed, like that woman from Brisbane who wears the black neck scarf?

That information will send chill up my spine for ages, just imagining what she might do to a lover if they had an arguement.

Posted by: virgil at March 3, 2008 12:32 PM

Its a good thing we dont keep on topic, see we get a useless topic like this that is kept open for ages, while a good, maybe even great topic (dating after a break up) got closed down after 1 day to put this heap of junk up

Posted by: virgil at March 3, 2008 12:26 PM

I think it was the Kinks who had a song called plastic man, back in the 60's

Of cours the guy looks so much worse than the woman. but thats probably cause she is side on.

Ohh Just get me a mirror, are your mcleans showing?

Posted by: virgil at March 3, 2008 12:23 PM

or maybe the picture could be called figjam

F*** I'm great, just ask me

Posted by: virgil at March 3, 2008 12:20 PM

Decoratress.
Thank you for the advice. I am here for the lively debate and intelligent discussion.
This is a moderated blog not a social or gossip forum and is broadly speaking concerned with human relationship issues which I like to discuss. If I take issue and question or offer a contrary point or perspective well that is the purpose of a debate surely. If I make a point it will be one that I have reasoned and can back up with logical argument.
Point about dogs that are not suited to a particular climate is that they suffer discomfort purely because of human vanity.
Dog varieties in the wild have adapted to suit prevailing conditions.
As for huskies not being bred in Australia. Rubbish. There are dozens of husky breeders here. I hope your wildlife research activities are conducted a bit more thoroughly and ethically ;-) than those on dogs.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 3, 2008 12:19 PM

by the way my vote for the name of the couple above would be Barbie & Ken as they look so plastic, and up themselves.

Posted by: virgil at March 3, 2008 12:18 PM

hey survival.....

It happens to all of us, the remedy is to select the entire post, click "copy" usually everytime is good, as we never know when the gremlins will cut us off, and if the system tells us to go away, as it often does, we just keep pasting until the gremlins are sick of us, and let the post through.

Posted by: virgil at March 3, 2008 12:16 PM

Marcus: I applaud your personal choice of pets.

Interesting to scientifically observe their social interactions and peck order, and as reptiles, they don't need keeping warm.

Just fed occasionally, and I also applaud your concern not to over-feed the dominent female. I expect you have to drop food simultaneously in several spots, to let the others get some, while she's busy with her lunch.

What do you feed them? And does she have a name? Love to know it.

But rather than having pets only to observe scientifically, some people prefer a pet they can share emotions, walks and ballgames with, and sometimes a settee.

"It make you boggle
how many doggle
can be laid
on a baid" - Ogden Nash.

88 floors above Melbourne (the views - wow!), I read among the interesting statistics about that city, that half the households there include at least one dog in their menagerie.

Interestingly, if we look at the African hunting dog instead of the wolf, they cope with hot desert days by having short coats, and with cold desert nights in the same week, by bedding down the pack together tightly round a tree.

During the night, when the outer-perimeter dogs get dangerously cold, the pack "boils." They climb over the others and burrow down between the pack and the tree, where it's warmer. This happens dog by dog a number of times per night, and allows them all to survive their cold camping night without beer OR wine, NF.

(When in Nasho and later as a scout leader, so did I, NF, but in both their tiny tents I would have preferred a peripheral blood-vessel dilator myself, but sadly verboten.)

Until disease etc decimates the dog pack - down below about 6, they are handicapped both in relay-race hunting, and in avoiding freezing to death at night. Observers have then seen the whole pack perish together.

Even in subtropical Brisvegas, empathic dog-owners do something about keeping their individual short-haired pets warm on winter nights.

The key word is empathic, Marcus legpuller.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 3, 2008 12:13 PM

Well knock me down with a virtual feather, it worked!

Posted by: survivalofthehippest at March 3, 2008 12:04 PM

Timewarp, many thanks for your warm welcome last week. If you're ever down this way I'd be delighted to knock you back, but only after I've had the pleasure of a good few hours' bilateral tabletalk.

Woodnwine, thanks for yours as well. To answer your question, and you're not the first to ask it, "melted architecture" is a reversal of a much-quoted statement by US architect Frank Lloyd-Wright: "Architecture is frozen music". Obscure-ish I know, but I saw recently some bloke wrote "liquid architecture" in his music section - though he wasn't my type it was nice to know I'm not the only weirdo.

You must think me ill-mannered for not replying sooner. I tried, ut RSVP kept breaking its promise to display my post "when convenient". So many times, oh so many times. Now I am scarred, a broken woman. I don't feel I can ever trust a dating site blog again. Oh alright, maybe one more time, if this one hasn't closed as precipitously as the last. And if it's convenient.

Posted by: survivalofthehippest at March 3, 2008 11:56 AM

WnW...
Sadly, a sense of humour can't be bought- as with lightheartedness, a little Objectivity & a perception of The Bigger Picture, help.

Marcus...
Sometimes labelling a sense of humour 'black' is merely an excuse for sarcasm- sometimes it's used to excuse looking for laughs by belittling or insulting others.
Subjectivity is an insular thing, not taking into account, or allowing for, the realities of other people.

You say your humour is Subjective, & that you really enjoy it..
YAY!!!
But wouldn't a little Objectivity & Tolerance help more of us to laugh with you? Instead of taking offence at your personally insulting comments?

Posted by: decoratress at March 3, 2008 10:42 AM

Shades of Stephen Wright anyone? Actually I enjoy a dry sense of humour better than a childish one.

I agree with decoratress about dog's natural coats. I would aslo let my dog's coats grow longer but they would become terribly matted and knotted as I don't have sufficient time to groom them every day. However, growing their coats longer would not keep them warm due to the type of hair they have. I chose my dogs because they can live inside (as well as out) and not drop hair everywhere plus they don't smell. They simply are not suited to cold weather and need to be kept warm ... no, I can't just let them shiver. Would you let a person shiver in the hope it will actually warm them up?

I think we all do what is necessary to make our pets comfortable as we would our partners. (not that I'm comparing people to animals)

Posted by: woodnwine at March 3, 2008 10:30 AM

Marcus...

It's a fact of life that dogs have been purpose-bred for hundreds of years... from the abhorrent dog-fighting to domestic pets.

By necessity I've chosen a small dog this time around, & poodle crosses are generally excellent dogs- physically sound, intelligent, & with few behavioural problems.

If I "left the little blighter's coat intact" he would be distinctly uncomfortable in Australia's summer. His coat would become matted with seeds, requiring an hour's intervention each day (which neither the dog nor I would find comfortable).
Dogs with woolly coats need to be clipped in the summer, just as small dogs need coats in the winter. Huskies, for example, which are not bred in Australia, are uncomfortable in temperatures over 6degrees celsius. As I said, it's not rocket science.

However, if you do wish to discuss things scientifically, I hold Wildlife Research Permits from the Dpt of Sustainability&Environment, Victoria, & the Parks & Wildlife Commission, Northern Territory...
I'm very familiar with snakes & lizards, including water dragons- in fact I took an excellent close up photograph of one in the Botanic Gardens in Brisbane recently.

There are many people on this site who are well qualified to engage in intelligent debate. Academic discussion is always welcome, provided the participants are respectful & pleasant. Personal slurs are neither. Rather than promote lively discussion, your posts appear to attract a fair amount of criticism...

Why would this be?
Obviously, as you say, you are an acquired taste.

Posted by: decoratress at March 3, 2008 10:04 AM

Woodnwine.
Just a note on dogs and cruelty versus human pleasure.
Most of the breeds we are familiar with have been selected in the last hundred years or so. All are very recently descended from the Asiatic wolf which obviously had a very effective coat. Humans have deliberately strained minor variations to arrive at the breeds we have. Small dogs are usually toy dogs and it is posible to make an argument that breeding coat length thickness and seasonal change down and out is a manipulation done purely for human pleasure and is thus very selfish and probably cruel.
Would it not be a lot better if you chose a dog that did not need to be costumed to make you feel good?
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 3, 2008 9:43 AM

decoratress.
I have a great sense of humour.I really enjoy it. It is a bit droll and often black. I sometimes do a short stand up routine. Humour is subjective though and you may not be getting mine. Part of my dessicated sense of amusement includes pretending to be very serious about insignificant issues. As they they say, I am an aquired taste.

DOG FASHIONISTA.
If your dog is shivering might not that actually indicate its metabolism is working correctly and in due course the shivering will raise his temperature a little as nature intends? It might also be helpful to comfort if instead of a depilitaory intervention for fashions sake you left the little blighters coat intact so he doesn't have to suffer the thermal shock and re acclimatisation needed?
Lizards are well. The female dragon takes a dip first thing in the morning, even when temps are down around 17 or 18 degrees.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 3, 2008 9:32 AM

decoratress ... can you please advise where one can purchase a sense of humour as there are many people on these blogs, it seems, that are in need of one. Maybe there is a secret "sense of humour" department in DJs?

And just by way of support or perhaps enlightenment of the ignorant, I have two small dogs which only have single layer coats (in other words they don't shed) instead of the normal two layers and they can get very cold in winter. Much as I don't really like the look, I also have coats for them so they don't shiver at night.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 3, 2008 9:20 AM

PC or not PC ... that is the question.

And NF, when you eventually wake up I would still like to hear your answer or was it just a "chew it up and spit it out" comment?

Posted by: woodnwine at March 3, 2008 9:14 AM

'Marquis' ...

My 'vetinary' (sic) surgeon doesn't sell dog coats. I put them on my dog after he is clipped & the weather is cold....

Marcus, it's not complicated...
... if your dog is shivering it is either cold or sick, & you take steps to rectify the situation.

My schnoodle (schnauzerXpoodle) is the first small dog I've owned. I have never had a male dog desexed because I 'didn't like the look of its balls', and campaigned against tail docking & ear clipping when I lived in England.

Don't transpose the opinions of 'one of your dates' on to me simply because we both have a small dog.... & I won't transpose my bad experiences with arrogant men on to you, simply because you both have the tendency to insult & demean.

"You claim your terrier with the strange short and colored (sic) coiffe and garment wearing propensity is an attention slut"...

Yes Marcus.
I'm a lighthearted kind of person.
It wasn't a scientific diagnosis...

hahahaHAHAHA...
Freudian anthropomorphic projection?
I suggest you lighten up & go shopping for a sense of humour

Posted by: decoratress at March 3, 2008 9:02 AM

"Got another one Willow,
Don your best western gear, complete with a stetson, chaps, spurs, and a big six shooter..... Amble up to an unsuspecting missy and warble...."howdy pardner".....
All the while chewing your tobaccy...........K"

Posted by: auntykaz at March 2, 2008 11:09 PM

Careful Willow ... you don't want to be mistaken for the man in black.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 3, 2008 9:01 AM

Good one Marcus. Especially giving that testicle aesthete the flick.
Time I snored. Seeyez tomorrow.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 3, 2008 2:23 AM

Decoratress.
Lizards are well thanks. They have a matriarchy in the vivarium. The Water dragons are siblings and have decided that she will have the best sunning vantage points, major use of the pond and first go at the tucker. She has to watch her weight too so diet restrictions apply.
Vetinarians are prone to recomending doggy coats as well as all sorts of other things they sell. The once recomended and sold tail docking and ear clipping and other mutilation until legislation prevented it.
I dated a 50 yo girl from here for a couple of months last year. She had a neutered chihuaha shizou cross. When I asked if she asked permission to remove his balls she said no. When I asked why the answer was "because I didn't like the look of them" Nedless to say this did not bode well.
Dogs and some human partners may well give the impression that their love is unconditional. I would rather my partners to make the odd objective comment.
You claim your terrier with the strange shorn and colored coiffe and garment wearing propensity is an attention slut. I know most dogs like a pat but surely that description of it is a sort of Freudian anthropomorpic projection?
Cheers Marcus

PS.
slightsynchronicity.
The 'gross' word has come up a couple of times recently. It seems to be another girly girly code word to be used to shut discussion and close the mind when a topic or item is subjectively deemed disagreeable or prurient.
Perhaps you would not be in a self confessed dating funk if you let go of your naive notions and learnt something about men and how we choose.
Nobody is asking you to do anything you don't have to (though it would be good if you posted something fresh remotely relevant to topic). A picture of you (or ntua) standing in jeans is pretty easy and answers a lot of blokes questions that have been PCd out.
MS

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 3, 2008 2:18 AM

Slightsynch @ 1.26am:

The Marquise is very honest about himself, especially pictorially. His hidden main photo is a perfect example of show, don't tell.

It reminded me of the internet joke picture with the caption "Why do men have 2 hands?" That photo shows a naked male toddler with a TV remote in one hand, and the other checking that nothing was missing.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 3, 2008 1:45 AM

The face and head is important, lipe and eyes, but men want to see your curves and shape, particularly your secondary sexual features like your breast and the shape of your waist, hips, groin and arse. Along with pictures taken indoors showing poor taste in furnishings (never date a woman with vertical blinds or particleboard anything) and decoration, comes the cute or not so cute Toby, or whoever, doggy pictures.

Marcus, how particularly gross and just plain distasteful. Some of your scientific musings and what not have been intelligent, but I really do not know what you are trying to say here. RSVP is a dating site and pictures are not the same as meeting real life people. If you want full length pics women, including all the parts you mentioned go and get one of those plastic wrapped magazines from a service station How does one show ones groin on RSVP??..you mean a bikini shot? Way to gross someone out. Assumedly you will post a pic of yourself on RSVP in budgie smugglers.

Way to alienate yourself from a heap of women and objectify females. Why be on the blog if you can not interact decently with both genders?

SS, will the ice cream have topping and nuts. I'll sleep with that.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 10:26 PM

Just neopolitan with no nuts or topping....and I did not have the icecream in bed. Of course I would have if I wanted to. LOL.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at March 3, 2008 1:26 AM

Slightsync...in answer to your question...probably no, as I would always wonder if he would have asked me...and cringe if he said no...also we are still in a world where the man likes to ask...so why not let him have this small/huge privilige?

fair enough istj54................

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at March 3, 2008 12:51 AM

Back from invigorating tennis, full of beans (Mexican jumping, NF, not Boston), and the girls are already nodding off - story of my life.

When I was married, the little chap even had a midnight curfew - except that it worked in reverse like the cat in the old days - involved his being locked out after midnight.

ISTJ @ 9.05pm: Please do no NOT try to apologise to me JL, for your use against me in anger of that "no-longer politically-incorrect" perennial ageist slur, which infers that all senior sex is "dirty" - provided that it involves a man.

Even his thinking about it is dirty, and the thing most to be attacked!

And I am totally unconvinced by the results of your quizzing your son. Of course he wouldn't complain about being thought older than he is! Hellooo!

Rather naive of you not to see that, I thought, with all your age and experience, and the wisdom you so often display on these blogs, when you can keep your temper.

Try asking a statistically-valid random sample of 50 or more men over 60 how they'd feel about being called that on a public blog read by thousands of lurkers, and being specifically named, so every lurker could look them up, to get their personal details.

Better still, try 100 men over 70. and see what psychological harm the question does to them. At least check how many got so hurt and angry that they had a heart attack or stroke, there and then.

PS to willow: While we have been discussing apparel in this blog, I thought
I'd detected a mention of cross-dressing - you wearing armpit bloomers, I think it was.

Personally. I'm not into cross-dressing at all, except that I do enjoy trying putting the boot on the other foot, now and then. Thank you istj for my opportunity tonight - and thank you NF for putting me up to it at 7.13am. See, even an old dog can learn a new trick!

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 3, 2008 12:47 AM

Posted by: auntykaz at March 2, 2008 10:55 PM

OMG I mentioned Zorro without reading what you posted, Kaz...

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at March 3, 2008 12:13 AM

What a great word, slightsynchronicity!

Posted by: decoratress at March 2, 2008 10:05 PM

Thankyou decoratress.
notgodsgift had some cool words once or thrice on the blog..such as I think..bodaciously salacious???

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at March 3, 2008 12:08 AM

oh great, so I cook a really late tea, and have a loooooooong conversation with my Mum...and youv'e had some fun...now I bet u r all asleep...

It was very cool to walk near the couple who were having wedding photos done at Port Noarlunga. They looked very rapturous and he said they did not care about trashing the wedding dress. So nice. Of course I am unsure if I would like to remarry but it sure is nice seeing other people joyous.

wishful 10:01 "SSC...does that mean we'll see Willow in extra-large "up to the armpit" undies too????"

wishful, No you cannot put images like that in my head. Now I have to imagine that actor Colin Firth as Mr Darchy. Up to the armpit undies are banned too.

If you are sleeping naked, Willow you could always throw a sheet on..plus any amount of blankets.

So you have a cousin who lives at Maslins?
Perhaps you could wear a Zorro costume or pirate get up. Pirates seem quite popular on this blog.

Taking some of my own advice am eating a bowl of icecream but am not in jamas.

Night all..

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at March 3, 2008 12:04 AM

K.... Try the bolster tonight ???? "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at March 2, 2008 11:38 PM

VDU...no to the rephrasing...not feeling overly obliging in that dept.. Prefer to let it stand.. Hmph.... Sorry petal... I rather liked it!!!! Like you I'm plum tuckered out as well. Has been a long weekend for me and a very eventful one in more ways than one.. I too am going to put head to pillow very shortly... Maybe you'll get a nibble before night's end willow??

Night all....Sweet dreams, etc, etc... "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at March 2, 2008 11:36 PM

kaz yes I love the beach, the sound of the surf, sunsets, fish and chips, rolling in the sand, salt water and romantic weddings.

I think Andrew and Caroline sound perfect or perhaps Kym and Kath.

Goodnight all.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 11:33 PM

I propose that we name the lovely couple...
I'm going to throw in Ian or maybe Andrew. for him, and for her how about Kim, or perhaps Caroline..........
Willow you do have a thing for the beach don't you???
Not that there is anything wrong with that......
A bit hard to don your Batman suit there is all..................K

Posted by: auntykaz at March 2, 2008 11:26 PM

Goodnight VDU, yes I was wondering about the nibble bit too.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 11:24 PM

A nibble G???? Would you care to rephrase??

Kaz, you're on fire tonight pet... don't get too carried away or you'll never sleep tonight and you do have work in the morn...

Speaking of which, I think it's time for me to retire - night all.

Posted by: victoriadownunder at March 2, 2008 11:22 PM

Sorry, I'm recalling my earlier post about the blog topic models photo. They are not looking at the wine in their glasses, they are looking at their reflections.

They are so romantic, checking their appearance, and teeth for left over meat before proposing to each other. Perhaps they are at the beach where there are no nearby mirrors.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 11:18 PM

decoratress "rapier wit", what are you thinking. No, do not answer that else the blog may be censored.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 11:14 PM

Willow, dear one, l am just trying to assist you in the "get out there" stakes..
If you weild the sword in a safe manner you will be fine....
We Vic ladies are clearly a bit more racy compared with our sisters in other states....And it is a Sunday night...............K

Posted by: auntykaz at March 2, 2008 11:12 PM

Willow, I'll let you off this time but don't let it happen again ok??? Not noice.....

VDU, I let the caped crusader slide as I knew Willow was hoping for a nibble...Naughty boy... Floodgates will open now!!!!!!

Posted by: amdoingit at March 2, 2008 11:10 PM

Ha VDU, l only had one thing on my mind in regards to the Batman suit.....
Clearly l have led a sheltered life and was suggesting to our friend Willow that a batman suit may assist him... You know, Batman being all manly and that.....
I probably should have put a Robin suit...
Oh hang on wasn't he gay????

Got another one Willow,
Don your best western gear, complete with a stetson, chaps, spurs, and a big six shooter..... Amble up to an unsuspecting missy and warble...."howdy pardner".....
All the while chewing your tobaccy...........K

Posted by: auntykaz at March 2, 2008 11:09 PM

... rapier wit, willow!

Posted by: decoratress at March 2, 2008 11:08 PM

Are the VIC ladies trying to trick willow again?

kaz, have I upset you and why are you intending self harm upon me.

You want me to wield a sword "probably even your good self", have you considered the harm this could do to a naked man with a unclad woman in close proximity. Really what are you thinking!

Touche then ouch.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 11:06 PM

Sorry amdoingit, did I forget you last night. I did have a big day yesterday and a few reds.

Besides I have been preoccupied on getting my dress sense sorted out or was that undress sense.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 11:01 PM

Willow!!!!!! Cheeky lad, referring to the caped crusader... I don't think Kaz meant it the way you took it!!!

Pet, I chose that one as all of them were really stating the bleeding obvious!!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at March 2, 2008 10:59 PM

Hmmm Willow, another one...
dress like Zorro, all mysterious and swarthy, then with one flick of your sword you can disrobe anyone at ten paces....probably even your good self......

You can't say l don't have an imagination, it is running rampant at the mo......
I may need some bubbles to settle down.....................K

Posted by: auntykaz at March 2, 2008 10:55 PM

Kaz..you could start something here you know? Costume wise that is.... Thought Zorro could do the trick till I read your mention of a scarf Willow...That's a damn brilliant idea I reckon, especially if it's a silk one.... Multi purpose then????

Thank you for being astute last night Bill and noticing that Willow forgot me in his post.. Hmmm...Nice one willow!!!! Smack, slap....

Decoratress, can still taste piglet???? You taught him well!!!!! That will have a few brains scrambling won't it????.

Posted by: amdoingit at March 2, 2008 10:53 PM

kaz, are you sure about a batman suit. Oh now I have got it, you are refering to the caped crusader for when the evening gets personal.

You do think ahead, thankyou.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 10:51 PM

You're right, Willow,
Their body-language is not exactly comfortable. Maybe he is thinking "I hope she doesn't ask" and she is thinking "How much more of this do I have to drink..."

It probably depends on where you decide to wear the scarf, Willow. If you wear it around your neck you could strangle yourself!

Posted by: amberlight58 at March 2, 2008 10:51 PM

fish'nchips .... what am I supposed to be suffering about?

"Sounds a bit like the Old Pretender himself. Sorry about that Ladies, but this Unwooded Chardonnay Special deserves it.

So suffer M."
Posted by: neuroticfish at March 2, 2008 8:28 PM

Posted by: woodnwine at March 2, 2008 10:50 PM

VDU, so you think we have a lot in common???

You are probably far closer to the truth there than either of us will ever realise.......
I said pet, l said love, l said darl.........K

Posted by: auntykaz at March 2, 2008 10:47 PM

Has anyone taken a close look at the photo for the Leap Year Proposals blog. They are both looking at their wine glasses rather than into each others eyes.

I dont think that relationship will last long, they should both start blogging so they can get fashion and love making advice free of charge.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 10:44 PM

wishful 10:01 "SSC...does that mean we'll see Willow in extra-large "up to the armpit" undies too????"

That would be my old bathers you are refering to. It's OK wishful I threw them away when I went to visit my cousin Dick at Maslins in January (remember that is the SA nudist beach).

The weather has been a little colder here during February so he now wears a scarf when he goes to the beach. Perhaps I can wear one to bed now that I am sleeping naked.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 10:41 PM

Willow, you need to tan up to stop the blinding skin glare.......

Now what to suggest that you wear to bed........hhmmmmmm
How about a batman suit...???
Swing in off the chandelier and impress the bejesus out of any unsuspecting female who may be near....

Or maybe a Tarzan loincloth, complete with rippling muscles and maybe a chimp for company.........

Just a few for starters.......l'm getting into it now, so careful it could get decidedly worse.............K

Posted by: auntykaz at March 2, 2008 10:31 PM

Good evening kaz, the only time I can recall being hot headed in recent times was after drinking all the cocktails at the virtual dinner.

From memory I had the hots for all females that night. Not sure about the headed part though, did I still have one?

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 10:31 PM

SS, will the ice cream have topping and nuts. I'll sleep with that.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 10:26 PM

TW, fine to instrust the females here to behave in a ladylike manner as long as the males act as gentlemen......as if.....
BTW are you referring to moi when you say cousin caz???
As l don't play games, adhere to roles and vocabulary plans l wasn't quite sure......

Seriously though, we get hotheaded at times myself very much included in that, but letting off a bit of steam never hurt anyone, in fact it is good for the old blood pressure.....

I think if we all remember that at the end of the day what we write here doesn't really matter, then we can all get along in happy cyberlandvilledom....
And that was all said with not a drop of bubbly to be had........ Not bad for a Sunday night eh????
Although l drenched myself in the bubbles last night....elegantly so...................K

Posted by: auntykaz at March 2, 2008 10:26 PM

Blogs are not the place to go for fashion advice, I can see this now.

I have decided the PJ's are uncool so tonight it shall be nakediscity for willow, I shall even strip off the bark.

However in expectation of the shock I will suffer due to the brilliance of naked skin I shall wear the sunnies intended for the beach.

As socks are uncool even if they are the Crows tri colour I will wear my best sports shoes to bed as training for any future close physical encounters I may have now my attire has been spruced up.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 10:24 PM

"sexify"

hahaha...

What a great word, slightsynchronicity!

Posted by: decoratress at March 2, 2008 10:05 PM

Posted by: picklessister at March 2, 2008 8:07 PM

budgie smugglers are gross IMHO, but I am happy to be proved wrong (not by email if anyone misconstrues that)

SSC

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at March 2, 2008 10:02 PM

SSC...does that mean we'll see Willow in extra-large "up to the armpit" undies too????

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at March 2, 2008 10:01 PM

Willow, Willow, Willow....with that advice you are going to crash and burn big time...ditch the single, uggies and slippers, please do NOT go down the sock avenue, just strip off and get into bed - add an extra blankie if you are cold and you are on a winner!!!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at March 2, 2008 11:48 AM

Willow please do not buy flannelette pjs. Go to Myer or David Jones and get some advice. Flannelette pjs...noooooooooooooooo next you will be wearing slippers that resemble rabbits or pigs and watching Bridget Jones diary, while eating icecream. Sounds like fun but still. Could you not sexify it up a bit....??????

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at March 2, 2008 9:57 PM

ntua..

Thanks for the positive comments on my photos!

As for the dog issue, Marquis- dogs give us unconditional love- something rare in humankind. It's up to us to provide them with everything we can to make their lives better. The dog owners I know have healthy, lively, well-balanced & socialised animals- which in my minds denotes responsible & educated pet ownership.

I've owned dogs all my life- without exception, they have lived several years longer than the breed estimate.
Vets recommend small dogs wear coats when it's cold- they lose body heat faster than larger animals.
Summer came... the warmer weather... & Piglet became somewhat disconsolate. No longer was he the epitome of sartorial elegance.. the attention he craved was diminished..

He seemed a little depressed.. his adoring public wasn't what it was..

What to do?

We simply came to an workable solution, Marquis... a vegetable dye was used, & Piglet has again become a successful attention slut.
Sorry, it's just the way he is...

How are your lizards, by the way?

Posted by: decoratress at March 2, 2008 9:39 PM

Istj.

I know you hate camping. It is never romantic. It has nothing to do with the quality of the accommodation (she was shouted more expensive accommodation on the trip before, at great expense to the management.). It is just NOT conducive to seduction or anything else for that matter. Particularly when some stray native marsupial starts thumping on the tent or a thunderstorm decides to get in on the act.

The up close and personal aspect of camping is negated by the food you eat on camping trips. Tends to reverberate for hours after. NOT good for romance.

And Timewarp, the only reason seasoned campers clean up a bottle or two of wine (or beer) on camping trips is to try and nullify the pain and discomfort from sleeping too close to the ground without the ability or desire to rise from the horizontal. Has nothing to do with a preference for alcohol over nookie (your term).

For those ladies who specify in their profiles that they like camping, you need a badge of merit.

Posted by: neuroticfish at March 2, 2008 9:38 PM

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 8:09 PM

Hi Willow, all are alive and hopping around madly and happy to come leap your way if the one you have needs company.

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at March 2, 2008 9:19 PM

Never say never Michael...but NF I prefer dinner or drinks to a coffee...and I am always more than happy to pay for myself...less expectation all round that way:))

...and disclaimer for all readers... it wasn't me in nf's tent...but we did get the rumbles down here in Victoria..4.7 in fact:))

TW...just asked son if he would care if I called him a "dirty old man" and he said no, but not the old bit...so I apologise for being ageist.

As for other points brought up today...I believe that our BMI would be a better indicator than what we have already...far more honest all round. I've changed my weight to average so I will not get caught out ever on this one. One man's slim is another man's average.

Posted by: istj54 at March 2, 2008 9:05 PM

Cheers decoratress! Always lovely to speak to a fellow dog lover, best people I reckon :)

As for purple, love that too!! Love your photos by the way, they're fabulous!!

Posted by: nevertearusapart at March 2, 2008 9:03 PM

Hinterlandlover @ 7.24pm on 29th: Thank you for opening your planned Diamond Coast bloggermeet up to BrisVegans.

Rush -hour traffic is heavy on the freeway south from Bris on weekday sunsets, and Friday is far worse.

If it was Kingscliff or Tweed Hds we'd get there as fast as you on a Thurs night, and home again that night, so no need for the cost of sleeping over somewhere.

So how about your original suggestion of a Thurs night? I live a couple of blocks north of Garden City, so maybe we could car-pool from my place?

(Reprising mine of 11.57 Fri night, now you and abckenny are home from weekend work.)

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 9:00 PM

nevertearusapart @ 7.43...

Re his post at 4.06am...
No, no..... it was ME that The 'Marquis' (heh..) was labelling a dog abuser!

Oh dear- and the colour purple too! He has a little problem with that because my profile pic shows me wearing a purple top....

This is an extraordinarily intelligent man, folks. Let's just leave it at that...

Posted by: decoratress at March 2, 2008 8:57 PM

NF @ 8.28pm: I can understand your problem.

But thanks to daily saw palmetto for a coupla years and daily cranberries since, I
now last comfortably for 6 hours at night, or 9 if I'm very tired.

And if there's any likelihood at all of shareable nekkedness, mate, I lay right off the beer.

Priorities, man, for Eros' sake! Well, at my age, anyway.

But you obviously prefer the beer. To each his own. Hope you still got a wet kiss from the inside of the tent, when you sat up and found you were alone.

Late for tennis. Seeyez.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 8:50 PM

Hmm interesting timewarp, I'm sorry if I came across as unladylike, however I think it's a good thing to stand up for yourself. Having said that, it's not good to lower yourself to someone else's (gutter) level. Ahh silly me, I took Marcus's bait!! Live n learn :)

Posted by: nevertearusapart at March 2, 2008 8:43 PM

Well fish'nchips ... and what am I supposed to suffer about?

Date with J? I hardly think so.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 2, 2008 8:32 PM

Nevertear @ 7.43: WnW is right. We have rules here.

The first rule is that the ladies act relatively ladylike, even when the stirrers (almost always mysogenist males, despite their occasional female pseudonym) start pouring the slurry into the fan.

The trick is to get on the distainful high horse and play Berne's game of "Oh you DIRTY little boy" - Oh sorry istj - gotta keep up to date - "Oh you dirty OLD man."

Can't do that with matching gutter language, can we, ladies?

But I do love it when Cousin Caz forgets it's a game with assigned roles and allocated vocabularies, and fires off a fair-dinkum real broadside that she means.

Off to tennis. Seeyez.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 8:30 PM

willow - yes, there is some left (that's the problem with cooking for one) .... chicken & mushroom, is that OK? With a glass of Hardy's Oomoo McLaren Vale Shiraz.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 2, 2008 8:29 PM

Wood n Whine

Jealousy about what?

You mean you’ve got a date out of the Babe. One of these go halves on coffee dates. Ho Hum.

And as for my bedtime habits, well, there we were in a tent in the middle of some godforsaken wilderness, she (not the Babe by the way) was lying naked on her mattress and here was I more concerned about which way the wind was blowing and how could I avoid having to get up in the middle of the night because I had drunk too much beer earlier.

Sounds a bit like the Old Pretender himself. Sorry about that Ladies, but this Unwooded Chardonnay Special deserves it.

So suffer M.

Posted by: neuroticfish at March 2, 2008 8:28 PM

TimeWarp, thank you for your compliment... it's a long time since I was called delectable!! And fear not, I was on the bubbles all night - Kaz was just joking about the fanta!!

Bean, thank you for "Ladies, enjoy your bubbles! I for one think it's fantastic that you've made friends with others on the site. Anyone who calls it clique-y is surely just jealous." You're dead right!!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at March 2, 2008 8:25 PM

Evening all,
this blog might be posted a few times as having problems with it. Marcus, you ask for body shots of the women- in many photos of the men I'd just like to see their face at least. Many are hidden behind sunnies and hat.ccc
As to the question of different body heat, I believe (won't tell my source of info) that men tend to leave one leg projected out from the side of the covers so it can act a bit like a thermostat to regulate the rest of the body's heat. Which one of you men do that?

Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 2, 2008 8:21 PM

nevertearus "sorry woodnwine, enjoy ur cannelloni ;)"

If there is any left can I have some, been busy watching cricket, food has waited.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 8:12 PM

cheers picklessister, I hear ya!!

Posted by: nevertearusapart at March 2, 2008 8:11 PM

kitten thanks for offering to share your frogs, do you still have all of them or have some croaked it since you last posted.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 8:09 PM

Oh fish'nchips ... jealousy will get you nowhere. Thanks also for enlightening us all on your bedtime habits.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 2, 2008 8:07 PM

ntua...heaven forbid that we get to see the appendage..bad enuff all those naked posing torsos in budgie smugglers..especially when they say for your eyes only babe...and 1,000,000 other viewers..ha ha..time and place i think.. :)

Posted by: picklessister at March 2, 2008 8:07 PM

WnW @ 7.24pm: You're teasing me, mate, and I love it.

Just for the record, I began at 1.06pm with "I'm a hottie (metabolically, that is.)" Just in case anyone thought I had more than my share of tickets on myself. Heaven forbid!

Rugby, gym, squash and swimming did give me an attractive body by 20 despite left-side weakening from polio at 15, but at 28 I married a determinedly unathletic girl - even "Dancing is for people who aren't married." I stupidly copied her lifestyle. And the result is blubber.

Didn't get the tuna. Found that Super IGA closes 30 mins earlier than Woollies over the road. That'll teach me for trying to get the last word in, won't it?

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 8:04 PM

Woodnwhine

Men generate more body heat in bed because they fart more in bed.

That’s one end.

The other end is the alcoholic fumes which a match might light up and provide a comforting slow burn, bit like the oil refinery at Lytton.

And, why, pray tell are you waiting on the Babe for. Do you have a nappy to be changed or something.

Posted by: neuroticfish at March 2, 2008 8:02 PM

thanks nevertearus, it is starting to smell pretty good ... now, just have to make sure I don't burn the cheese.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 2, 2008 8:01 PM

Thanks, now I know that BMI is an acronym for body mass index.

The trainer at the gym last week suggested I do this, I politely declined because I believe religion is a private experience and none of her business.

I have always believed that God is interested in my spirit not my body.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 8:00 PM

sorry woodnwine, enjoy ur cannelloni ;)

Posted by: nevertearusapart at March 2, 2008 7:58 PM

One thing that always amazes me is the fact that about 60% of the faces I see in my side bar are from interstate. Why? Are these people who read the blogs but don't blog? If so, hello there.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 2, 2008 7:56 PM

timewarp 6:37 "And thank you mate for the very civilised circuit-breaker."

You are welcome, at times we all need to choose the neutral wire rather than the positive or negative. Sorry if you have an earth leakage problem as well, I cannot fix that by my urologist can.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 7:53 PM

steady on nevertearusapart .... this is RSVP not some sex site. I know you were just responding but to continue the theme? It might put me off tonight's canneloni.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 2, 2008 7:49 PM

istj .... waiting, waiting. Story of my life really.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 2, 2008 7:47 PM

"One of the thing that I find annoying about women's profiles is a lack of a full body shot.
Particularly when they have extolled their curvaceous physicality.
The face and head is important, lipe and eyes, but men want to see your curves and shape, particularly your secondary sexual features like your breast and the shape of your waist, hips, groin and arse. Along with pictures taken indoors showing poor taste in furnishings (never date a woman with vertical blinds or particleboard anything) and decoration, comes the cute or not so cute Toby, or whoever, doggy pictures. A lot of men, are slightly tongue in cheek about the RSVP population of forthright mild misandrists who maintain large male dogs too.
Cheers Marcus

I've only just caught up on the blogs from last night, and read Marcu's above comments with such delight!! (not). My my what a shallow, narcisstic person we seem to have here hey. I take you have viewed my profile hence the comments on body shots and photos of dogs. Hmm well what can I say, I couldn't give a fly rats arse what you think to be honest. I have to say though, I pity the poor woman who is you current "bonk" or whatever.

You say you want to see photos of a womans "sexual features", does that mean women should expect to see photo's of mens appendage???!! No thanks.

No doubt, you will want to have the last word . . . .

Posted by: nevertearusapart at March 2, 2008 7:43 PM

Do you think I should contact kitten to ... borrow another frog from her since she only left me with one.
The frog she left has a few psychological problems, it is very jumpy.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 11:05 AM

Hi Willow, you may borrow as many frogs as you like as these are getting restless and are looking for new adventures.

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at March 2, 2008 7:28 PM

Or maybe Bill was just inferring that he has a particularly hot body ............
just joking mate while you are shopping for your tuna. You can pick on me when you get back.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 2, 2008 7:24 PM

In defence of what timewarp has been saying, I do believe it is true that men generate more body heat in bed than women and many women complain of being cold in bed when the man is not.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 2, 2008 7:20 PM

woodnwine 6:45
When I talk about body size I find it is helpful to be rerasonably definite about what I mean. The Body Mas Index for Australians defines closely a set of criteria that allows an accurate comparison of people, rather than the prevalent and subjective self assesment. Could be helpful, and optional, in profiles here.
By undersize woman I mean someone who is very thin, perhaps has the disease Anorexia or has obsessive dieting and body image behaviour. Her BMI will be below the healthy range by definition.
As far as morbid obesity goes a woman who is 40 or 50 kg overweight is by definition unfit and not athletic (30 Kg is defining point) and often has her movement and flexibility limited so that the normal range of sex activities become difficult- for her and for the bloke who is hefting perhaps 130Kg.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 2, 2008 7:18 PM

woodnwine @ 6.45

Yes, thank you... I was also a little puzzled by that particular 'Marquis' gem...

...but quite frankly, I couldn't be bothered asking for clarification, knowing it was likely to be answered arrogantly, with a few childish insults thrown in.

'Marquis' ?

hahaha... now THAT's good value, Marcus!

Posted by: decoratress at March 2, 2008 7:12 PM

WnW - i have had plenty of guys that dont follow through with an email either...i hate it when they say they will then they dont...its worse when they ask you to send one and then dont reply to that..thats a stamp down the gurgler...costs more than a cup of coffee!!

But a fair number do send one and reply..and they make it worth it... (gotta finish on a positive note).

Posted by: picklessister at March 2, 2008 7:07 PM

virgil - I agree with you about women who won't spend money on stamps. I receive a reasonable number of kisses from women but if I respond in the affermative I rarely receive an email. I'm not sure I want to meet women who aren't interested enough to follow through with their convictions. Come on ladies this is 2008! Must say though, several have sent emails and I thank them for showing that equal rights are alive and well with some women. No proposals though ... very sad.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 2, 2008 6:58 PM

Timewarp I wasn't thinking you'd give her a double dose of doona (nice bit of onomatopaeia there), simply peel back your corner :) Wow...if you can't work out how to sleep together harmoniously, doona or no doona, life is going to be downhill from there on :)

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at March 2, 2008 6:57 PM

"the oft accompanying psyche issues that seem to accompany undersize women. In the same way that morbidly obese girls are seen by many men as lower partner value, the practicalities of a active sex life are also diminshed. OF COURSE the same applies in the converse.
Cheers Marquis."

This part.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 2, 2008 6:45 PM

wishful: I tried to explain. Two layers of doubled doona's too hot for her (it's Brisvegas not Melb), so with one layer, the other half hangs over her side of the bed, and at her first sleeping wriggle, gravity gets working.

Since today I've thought of the answer - a row of nappy pins along the midline, to join the edge of the doona to the middle of the sheet. I must copy willow's providence, and buy a packet of nappy pins for my sponge bag. Just in case.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 6:45 PM

"WNW, I agree. One person's idea of what is average is to another person overweight. I doubt very much than it would be the other way around e.g. a thin person thought that they were of "average" weight. With the focus on body image today most thin people would definitely put themselves in the thin/Athletic category noting that in today's society with people getting bigger all the time, they are no longer "average" at all."

Posted by: amberlight58 at March 2, 2008 10:05 AM

Well, amberlight it can happen. Last year I went our with a gorgeous woman who described herself as average but was a very trim size 8. Go figure.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 2, 2008 6:42 PM

Willow: I've got a post-divorce Surfers Paradise swimming teeshirt with a smiling crocodile saying out of the corner of its mouth "Trust me."

She would have had a fit - was even uncomfortable about me parking my sunnies on top of my head when we went into a shop for a minute. "Put them in your pocket! You're 50, not a teenager!"

The teeshirt may not still fit me till next spring. Will check, next time I'm shirtless and showered.

And thank you mate for the very civilised circuit-breaker.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 6:37 PM

Easy to solve the blanket problem Timewarp...you toss off the doona, let her keep her side of it - you have your sheet and all is good in the bedroom.

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at March 2, 2008 6:27 PM

ITSJ @ 5.50: I wasn't asking for your apology. Ever. (And I didn't know what age you were - I was talking about Brisbane women I'd met.)

And why not be stroppy in your mid-50s? I reckon there's nothing wrong with that. Pity is that younger and older women aren't. They owe it to themselves even more at those ages.

No: I was offering you my apologies. And still do, for offending your modest sensibilities, and anyone else's who feels as you do.

And thanks for explaining that the blatant anti-PC ageism of "dirty old man" is now so entrenched that it has even taken over from "sex-crazed suburban teenager," to describe normal male interests , any time after puberty.

Must hurry to the shop. Seeyez.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 6:16 PM

willow has excellent news for bloggers. Initially I was concerned about being unable to find a partner on Feb 29 despite my advertisement in this blog.

I have now run the problem through the willow RSVPi Intel based profile matcher, it has advised we all have a full year to achieve this since this is the Leap YEAR Proposal blog.

Now we can all stay single for up to a year and talk about getting old, becoming dirty old men and women (we have a water shortage in Adelaide as well).

Better still we can have more virtual dinners, perhaps at the beach with the sharks and maybe some lurkers, don't forget neurotic fish since he will be in his element there. Timewarp keep your sin glet, sounds like you may need it or the T-shirt as a dinner pass, do you have any animals on either?

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 6:11 PM

PS. for ISTJ: Cinema verite is rarely PC, and I wrote that piece in that genre, hampered trom achieving full graphic impact by the journalist's alphanumeric filter.

I think what you really meant was that societally-repressed anglo-culture people don't talk about politics, religion or sex, especially not graphically. Or in public.

Too close to what really matters in real life.
Gotta keep it trivial, and just talk about the weather.

But I agree with your kindly-meant warning that it would not be good advertisement for me to the sort of partner I want to avoid, next time around.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 5:58 PM

You'll have to wait till I have grandchildren and begin to mellow a little before you get an apology...or when my looks begin to fade...and whatever else you alluded to yesterday in this my watershed year...I'd call my son the very same thing so it is just a phrase used to depict a certain type of behaviour...you're just being sensitive.

Posted by: istj54 at March 2, 2008 5:50 PM

Naughtyfish @ 5.16pm: Now that's more like your better work.

ISTJ @ 5.24pm: Yes, took a risk and got pretty near the knuckle. Comfortable about your protest, but noticed its blatantly unashamedly ageist language.

I'll be more subdued in future.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 5:31 PM

Timeanddefinitelypcwarped...your post at 3.44pm seriously sent me in search of a bucket....ewwee...you are beginning to now come across as a dirty old man...and that is not good advertising...more offensive than anything L&T has written, that's for sure.

Posted by: istj54 at March 2, 2008 5:24 PM

My Dear Old Fella,

My “latest target” as you call her, is quite capable of looking after herself, including dealing with a host of older men who seem to have escaped the Nursing Home and have gotten on rsvp and taken a shine or fancy to her.

I should remind all you escapees from various institutions that it is good OHS and Health and Wellbeing practice for Management and Carers, to provide internet access for the desperate, and dateless within their walls, and there is no need to wander the streets in your issued regimented pajamas looking for a stray internet café (I was going to say “picking up blocks of cheese along the way” to give your new found lady love, but I do believe that the gentleman in question has been given fairly final marching orders, and the lady in question has moved on smartly to even greener, or maybe bluer- depending on whether she is now into blue vein cheese- pastures- I might add that I probably have earnt my ever so very last email from that little sweetie).

Lusty Musty Sugar and Spice is probably only too happy to take you all for walkies, on or off a leash, but I do believe she draws the line at scraping up doggie does, so please take your colostomy bags with you and empty them yourself.

And when she gets back from her Kama Sutra today, I am sure she will affirm these general intimations.

Posted by: neuroticfish at March 2, 2008 5:16 PM

Doberman Sisters! Skitchim!
While I go buy 89cent tuna for my calorie-and-money diet. (Off special after today)

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 5:14 PM

VeryNastyfish @ 4.13pm: Caught you at it - I decided to have lunch today (before I left) and in my expected absence you are going into desperate-wild-insult mode, Georgy Porgy. (Slurred the girls and made them cry)

I have had the real privelege of meeting your gorgeous latest target in person, and take it from me, son, there wouldn't be room for a budgie egg. So take it back, you unchivalrous mysog!

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 4:45 PM

Yes, but Victoria’s UnGodly Secret IS:

You wear budgie smugglers under the T Shirt (like Bob Hawke used to)

Posted by: neuroticfish at March 2, 2008 4:13 PM

Looks like veryone's having a nannanap or a poppasnore - I'm going tu the supermarket. Seeyez.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 4:08 PM

Willow @ 12.10: I don't just wear a sin glet - I wear a T shirt at the beach. And not only to cover the unsightly acres, but to protect from the sun.

This ex-blonde surfie has already had his third nose re-turf. A bit of neck this time, still with some beard hairs. So not only wombats are hairy-nosed on the outside (everyone has them inside.)

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 3:52 PM

naughtyfish @ 2.43pm: I disagree with you sir.

Extrapolating from my own research and personal experience, I believe that most women do NOT prefer the lights out, (or failing that, an aircraft or other blindfold), just to block out the horrible sight of the hideous ogre who is currently 'pleasuring' them so delightfully. (to use a delightful old expression which I relate to personally.)

I believe it's to let them focus undistractedly on their all-consiuming delight, progressively arising (like their various erectile tissues, without and within) from the tactile sensations they're currently being awarded by an accomplished femme-player.

If this is not yet so for you, perhaps you need to spend less time practicing your bluegrass fiddle, and more on seriously playing an instrument that when in full song, can't manage any rhythm but 4 beats to the bar, a lot faster than allegro. (You're the muso - what do they call the Biggest O, in musical parlance? (I mean the speed, not the crescendo.)

And as to your crass comments about vomitary receptacles, the last time I miscalculated and fed a chick too much champers was in 1959, and I was so glad my mum's Zephyr had vinyl seats .... Lunched with her in Melb recently.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 3:44 PM

No guys, the sunnys are for the beach not the bed. See wishfuls 12:05 post, you will understand.

If you need sunnys for bed then all I can say is lay off the booze.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 3:09 PM

Offering sunglasses to bedmates??????

And here I was thinking that your infrequent bedmates preferred blindfolds to block out the horror of what they were doing and who they were doing it with; or do they just prefer vomit buckets beside the bed. The old style bedpans used to do the trick but these days you can only get those sterilised hospital stainless steel. They fit better under the defibrillator to revive 72 year old men (like Billy Snedden) who still think they are up to it and ignore nature’s warning signs, or the oxygen bottle that has to be whipped on to your ever so lovely physog if the defibrillator accidentally is successful.

Posted by: neuroticfish at March 2, 2008 2:43 PM

amberlight58...

Thank you, YES, to both questions!!

Posted by: decoratress at March 2, 2008 2:08 PM

Timewarp, re your bedding problem (and I mean of the manchester variety) the very thing for you would be one of the cotton woven blankets such as they use in hospitals.

They are lightweight but good for all seasons and people with differing body temperatures. Easy to push to one side for one person who feels chilly without the bulk of getting in the way of the person next to you who only needs a sheet or less.

Rather simple maintenance too. I throw mine in the washing machine and the dryer.

Posted by: dharma61 at March 2, 2008 2:07 PM

Virgil @ 11.47: It's the traditional innuit wife's uniform.

Under their coats, the bloke wore long pants and boots, the woman short pants and very long boots, reaching well up the thigh.

It's cold in the igloo, so you sleep fully dressed (sorry wishful) and take off the minimum to get together - he drops his sealsks (too cool for Dacron) a bit, and she tosses her shorts for the duration.

The innuit were very hospitable. Visiting males were routinely offered some feminine comfort - an adventure for the igloo-bound wife, and maybe new genes to keep the local gene pool healthily wide.

Perhaps those teenyboppers are hoping their derr boyfriends will offer them round, if they dress the part?

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 1:40 PM

Also improves your braille abilities, with a little practice.

And especially good for offering to bedmates who like the light out during, while you like it on, because you like to see what you're doing, rather than flying blind.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 1:16 PM

Willow @ 12.38: Sunglasses in bed?

Far too uncomfortable, especially when they fall off and you roll on them. Airline twin-pirate eyepatches are the go.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 1:12 PM

wishful @ 11.48am: I have a problem with your blanket advice (I suppose you meant it for all of us blokes?)

It's OK when I'm sleeping alone - I'm a hottie (metabolically, that is) so it's on the bare bed in summer, under a sheet in spring and autumn, plus one surf towel in winter. (Two, if house is wood not brick, so it's 6 degrees at breakfast, not 14.)

My problem is sharing. When I want to be naked (note non-RSVP-blog spelling) under only a sheet, they want at least a doona, and then complain that the side of them facing me is toasting, even when I'm not in a rage. (Last time I was, it was about midnight and I was about 30. So I put on tee, shorts and runners, and ran it off - Junction Rd Clayfield to Bretts Wharf and back.) For out-of-towners, that's about 7km. Burnt off the adrenyline OK so I could sleep.

Then the doona hanging down on their side slides off onto the floor, and they wake me up with their chattering teeth, clinging to me for warmth.

Can you advise me on this chronic problem please? I can't afford to fit ducted heating, because it's always at their place.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 1:06 PM

The other misnomer about Height/weight ratio is as my Doctor discovered on further investigation before putting me on a diet, Skelatel mass/density, when that was done I worked out to be just slightly over weight, which is where I want to be in case of any illness, I have a reserve to help fight any onslaught.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at March 2, 2008 1:00 PM

Yes, it seems everyone has their own meaning for the body type categories.

It is rather subjective but I've seen people put 'athletic' on their profile but their photo shows they clearly aren't.

Maybe they are working on it and have become fitter since the photo was taken, maybe it's what they aspire to be, or maybe they truly see themselves as trim, taut and terrific when they look in the mirror.

Whatever the reason, I don't see it as a major issue unless they are delusional.

Posted by: dharma61 at March 2, 2008 1:00 PM

Willow than you, you have just reduced my size, (if a person cannot see toenails looking straight down etc). I have just bought a set of scales with the display post that sticks up around whatsi height and I don't have to go to the trouble of cutting my toenails, thank you.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at March 2, 2008 12:56 PM

wishful, in that case I will add a very dark pair of sunglasses to the shopping list.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 12:38 PM

Willow...some should wear a lot more than a singlet.....

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at March 2, 2008 12:34 PM

timewarp, I just purchased a pair of 32 inch jeans. I am not what I would call slim, I look upon myself as average with a few kilos to lose.

What I do know is the 32 inches on a twenty year old is trimmer than on a 48 year old.

I think it is relative, compared to many my age I am probably closer to slim but compared to a very fit person I am not.

But really despite all this there are quite a few profiles where the person is just lying looking at the photos. If a person cannot see toenails looking straight down then they are not slim to average.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 12:31 PM

OG another item to be purchased, a bed rated pair of wollen gloves. Since you are always a gentleman remember to share one glove each when you find a partner.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 12:19 PM

Amber @ 10.15am: I disagree.

It's true that many people label themselves one class thinner than the rating that you silently give them, when you meet them. But I don't remember any who mis-classified themselves by 2 classes.

And it's true that the population's average size is getting bigger - I read that for women, over the last 70-odd years, it's an extra 2 inches up top, 8 inches at the waist and 4 inches round the hips. (Or was that 2-4-8?) My father's mother still had a 19 inch waist (48cm) after 5 children. Wish I did, after 3....

Whatever. But I'm sure Marcus's 16 top and 16 bottom isn't right - it's 16 above 18.

The ever-changing ethnic mix is relevant, and I worry empathically that the recent influx of slimmer asians hasn't curbed the recent significant widening of the averages.

But anber, there is a whole tragic class of people who do believe they are excessively fat, when they are actually skeletal - anorexics. They look in the mirror, and their mind widens the image. Enormously.

But I guess you were talking about people with only the usual level of slimming-industry-induced hangups about being actually-average-conned-into-thinking-they're-fat, not the extreme tail on the thin end of the graph.

And now that our average has become unhealthily plump, most of us should be trying to get healthier, if not slimmer.

There's also a complication with the over-60s. Against which population do we rate ourselves?

I'm close to the weight of our fattest neighbour when I was a kid in the bush. 17 stone to his 20. No-one else in the district was over about 14 stone/85kg . But I'm only 2/3 the weight of the seriously fat young blokes sitting in McDonalds today.

If they're the biggest RSVP weight class today, I must by comparison be only a bit overweight, and I go with that in my profile, largely because I'm as active as most of the "average" blokes - especially at my advanced age.

And putting myself in the class above would be even more misleading, as well as very counter-productive, datewise. Just gotta lose the rest of that 20kg, but now not by August - more likely next summer. Then I'll take a risk on "athletic".

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 12:16 PM

Willow.
not needed, I wear my pj's 24/7, am shorter than any doona, gave up footie socks to bed in preferrence to the Referree's socks, and that is only on the very rare nights it gets cold enough, on those nights I may deign to wear some wollen gloves to bed, but then it's a wasted gesture as I sleep alone 7/365, but live in hope and am ever the gentleman. lol
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at March 2, 2008 12:11 PM

wishful, sounds to me like some people should wear singlets at the beach.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 12:10 PM

Nope Willow...barefoot and bikinis in this neck of the woods.....we don't need to take "jelly" for the fish - enough of that just laying on the beach (some even in bikinis - and they sure as hell shouldn't be).

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at March 2, 2008 12:05 PM

Since I have introduced the topic of jellyfish I guess stingrays are now on topic.

wishful do you remember my blog story about my cousin Dick at Maslins beach. Well he is a bit slow because he told me to watch out for the stingrays. What a STUPID piece of advice, he knows my name is willow not RAY so why do I have to look out. Surely they only sting RAY.

Virgil, kitten is into frogs, must admit I never asked her whether she eats our famous Balfours frog cakes.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 12:02 PM

OG are you here for fashion advice as well?

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 11:56 AM

I once bought some satin sheets, didnt like them.
It must be the year of the frog cause I saw on the news a big pyramid made of green frog cakes, on Friday night.

Posted by: virgil at March 2, 2008 11:54 AM

TW,
Have just finished the house work and got the place neat and tidy, caught up on the posts from last night and this morning, I was well and truly in bed before you post of 00,42 snug under the doona (and being of the shorter variety with nice warm feet)

Of course I did not mean you, you at least give and take with your women. Which leads me to believe I have "cracked the Marcus Code" It would be reasonable to assume that he vents his spleen and releases his bile on the women in these blogs in prefference to his doing so at his present "amour". She by his own description would seem quite robust enough to tear his ears off shove them somewhere, and then beat some manners into him if he spoke to her the way he is wont to do here.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at March 2, 2008 11:52 AM

wishful, same question for you do the RSVPers wear slippers at the beach.

Also since you live in QLD do they take jelly to the beach for the fish?

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 11:50 AM

Willow, Willow, Willow....with that advice you are going to crash and burn big time...ditch the single, uggies and slippers, please do NOT go down the sock avenue, just strip off and get into bed - add an extra blankie if you are cold and you are on a winner!!!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at March 2, 2008 11:48 AM

A surprising fashion worn by some lovely young women on Jett Rd, Glenelg, is very short skirts, and ugg boots in the middle of summer. It must be a teenage fashion statement of some sort.

Posted by: virgil at March 2, 2008 11:47 AM

Phew, at first quick read virgil I thought you said undies then realised this was uggies.

I can feel the passion running high now. The new bed attire of choice is a silk singlet with frogs, no pants and uggies or slippers all to be worn in bed.

Perhaps we need socks to round this out. Perfect I think will be the crows banded tri colour to be worn fully pulled up to the knees.

This is what I love about RSVP, a newly single man can come here after a long marriage to get fashion advice.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 11:41 AM

Thankyou,
T, K, G, Nina, VDU & M
I try not to bite, but he does irritate doesn't he?
Are you having a good time?

Posted by: amberlight58 at March 2, 2008 11:41 AM

Thank you Amber and Wishfulthinker, that means a lot to me

Posted by: virgil at March 2, 2008 11:37 AM

Bare feet, usually at this time of year usually, willow.

I expect to see the Uggies in a few months time though

Posted by: virgil at March 2, 2008 11:34 AM

Virgil what a nice thing to say about your previous relationships. I have to agree with amber...what a gentleman!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at March 2, 2008 11:33 AM

Good morning T K G Nina VDU and M, you should start an accounting firm with a name like that.

Yes start counting your kisses and dates, did you have frogs legs for breakfast?

Virgil do the RSVPers at the beach wear slippers since these are the new fashion accessory.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 11:30 AM

Oh so they weren't the ones walking the dogs?
Shame that,
As I walked past I said, My RSVP name is virgil.
NOT.

What is the shawshank redemption? a movie, what is it about?

If I have seen it, It obviously didn't leave much of an impression

Posted by: virgil at March 2, 2008 11:30 AM

I dont feel I have baggage from previous relationships, because on the whole, they were really good relationships, well my marriage, and my long term relationship were great, the people were excellent people.

That we are not together now, in no way diminishes the worth of these 2 wonderful women, who together represent 28 years of my adult life.

Posted by: virgil at March 2, 2008 11:13 AM

Virgil,
That makes you a true gentleman! There aren't too many of your kind around.

Posted by: amberlight58 at March 2, 2008 11:27 AM

Willow the RSVP'ers are very easy to spot on the beach - no signs required...they are the ones holding hands and waiting patiently for sunset, the red wine bottle (and hopefully two glasses) firmly in their hands and of course a copy of Shawshank Redemption tucked firmly under their arm....

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at March 2, 2008 11:18 AM

Sorry Willow,
Don't be confused. It was the way Marcus used the term "dear:" which made it patronising, not the word itself.

PS I agree with istj, the slippers are definitely the way to go!

Posted by: amberlight58 at March 2, 2008 11:16 AM

virgil I think next week is womadelaide, the proposed bloggers meet another weekend. I have the kids all next weekend from Thurs to Mon so will not be saying hello there.

Also NF was just trying get a bite out of you.

If you have a cold do not read timewarps posts, I think he is trying to give me the flu.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 11:15 AM

I dont feel I have baggage from previous relationships, because on the whole, they were really good relationships, well my marriage, and my long term relationship were great, the people were excellent people.

That we are not together now, in no way diminishes the worth of these 2 wonderful women, who together represent 28 years of my adult life.

Posted by: virgil at March 2, 2008 11:13 AM

hahahaha.....!!!

We like you, amberlight58!

T, K, G, Nina, VDU & M

Posted by: decoratress at March 2, 2008 11:10 AM

Hi Willow

I went by myself, as this is my passion, and to mix it up, with dating, doesnt do either the justice they deserve.

Besides, I still have not been able to shake my cold off.

I liked meeting this woman, and hopefully will have other meetings.

Thanks for your interest, Willow, maybe we have a bloggers meet next week as slightsynch was saying in the bloggs?

Posted by: virgil at March 2, 2008 11:07 AM

You're right, Virgil.
Our kids are definitely NOT "baggage"; Life experience isn't either, but I believe the pain, anger and hurt we carry with us, even from our childhood is.
But you'd be amazed at the people who consider their children from past relationships to be "baggage" to be left behind when their life becomes new and exciting. (and often so does their new partner which is one reason why there is so much child abuse around. Also blaming your childen for your life's problems.... I grew up with a mother who continually told us that if it wasn't for my sister and I she would "never have stayed with your father" the message being I am unhappy it is your fault for being born!.

Some people think that trying to learn from your past mistakes is ridiculous, and that you just move on and forget all about it. (then they complain that the same thing just "happens" to them over and over again!)

My daughter has a friend whose father actually told her that she was part of his old life and that now he was moving forward into his new life with his new wife and her children, he wouldn't have time for her! She was understandably angry and hurt, but thank goodness she had the maturity to see at 19 that it was his problem, not hers. But I imagine that it will still affect her for a long time.

That is why I feel very suspicious when someone blithely says "I have no baggage"; what does it really mean? THey have no problems with their past pain, hurt or anger, or they have swept it all under the carpet along with their children from a past relationship? I would rather someone admit to having some "baggage" (pain, hurt, anger) than to deny they have any at all.
If you acknowledge it you can deal with it. And turn it into life experience.

Posted by: amberlight58 at March 2, 2008 11:06 AM

Thanks istj, I knew you would come to the rescue as only an istj profile could do. Do you think I should contact kitten to see if she can lend me some fur to stick on to the slippers and to borrow another frog from her since she only left me with one.

The frog she left has a few psychological problems, it is very jumpy.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 11:05 AM

Maybe women who kiss back instead of spending money on a stamp to respond to a wanker male who invites an email from her, are not gold diggers.
a post from neurotic fish at 1.42pm yesterday.

It would be helpful if you read what was said and responded to that, rather than calling people wankers because you dont understand what was said.

Some people get quite a few kisses, from people who are not quite what we are looking for. Upon receipt of such kiss, it becomes the responsibility of the person who sent the kiss, to send the email.

Timewarp understood this perfectly NF, and as I can see from your profile you are an intelligent person, I can only assume you didnt read what was written, and so commented on what you thought you saw.

Posted by: virgil at March 2, 2008 11:00 AM

amber, one minute I am hot now I am old and senile because sometimes I get called dear.

Sometimes it is by people I know but sometimes it is on letters I receive from government and business. Indeed, they are very, very rude when they address me as Dear Sir. In future I shall return these letters with a really rude reply.

Are you sure when you say "And please don't "dear" me Marcus. Dear is a patronising term people seem to reserve for elderly ladies (and sometimes elderly men who they think may well be a little senile) "How are you going dear?""

Willow is confused again and patronised.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 10:59 AM

Willow...I believe you can buy those wonderful fashion statements...the big fluffy animal slipper...in a frog...perfect for your raised doona situations...could still be wearing the stylish singlet/teddy but have cosy feet at teh same time...you would feel you were in bed with a lovely lady and two frogs...my son has apair of donkey heads that occasionally frighten me late at night.

Posted by: istj54 at March 2, 2008 10:56 AM

Hi Virgil, did you go to the game and were you single or a double?

Do they wear RSVP signs at the beach?

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 10:53 AM

Test run, still can't get through to the blogs without a 15 hour delay and waiting for an answer from the site.Anyone else having this problem?

Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 2, 2008 10:49 AM

I think I have now solved the willow being single problem thanks to the efforts here.

Have a hot hairdo (will rollers help with this?) and sleep naked or with no more than a singlet, does bark count since I am a willow?

Other ideas include I branch out by sending lots of kisses or change my roots by moving interstate. I think this means I would have to turn over a new leaf.

Of course none of this matters for another four years since I was unable to get engaged on Feb 29.

Thanks to amber and timewarp for clarifying, I think. Timewarp can you offer a solution to the cold toes problem caused when women pull the doona up high. It can get down to around 3 degrees overnight in Adelaide during winter. Should I change my profile to wanting a man during these months so can I access the 60 - 80 watts of heat each generates. Perhaps two men would be better as this would help save on heating cost and greenhouse gas.

I think my ex-wife only generated about 5 watts except when I upset her, at these times it was more liklely around 2400W since it was enough to make toast out of me.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 10:46 AM

This morning I woke up at around 7am, with my first thought to go out and buy the Sunday Mail, as last night the Crows had earned a spot in the NAB Cup grand final.

As I live close to the beach, and after a small change in direction, and I am there, I read about my heroes, then decided it was such a lovely morning I would meet and greet numerous RSVP'ers, as it must be only us who walk the beach.

Posted by: virgil at March 2, 2008 10:42 AM

Well bully for you, Marcus! Who says only men like or deserve to look at secondary sexual characteristics in the opposite sex!!

And please don't "dear" me Marcus. Dear is a patronising term people seem to reserve for elderly ladies (and sometimes elderly men who they think may well be a little senile) "How are you going dear?"

Posted by: amberlight58 at March 2, 2008 10:35 AM

Surely it is the personality of the person you are dating that will determine whether you will choose to ask her out again.

Following coffee with a very nice woman, I felt a bit uncomfortable about the idea of ringing her back, the date went well, but it was hard work. There was not that easy conversation that sometimes happens in dates.

I dont like women, who on the first coffee date tell me how they love getting under cars and working on them all weekend, and that many blokes pretend an interest in cars to get a date with her. This was a date from hell (not recent thank goodness, but so bad it satys in my memory).

The subject got around to baggage (I dont know how, because I dont think life experience is baggage). It was explained to me that my children were baggage.

It was at this point, I stood up and thanked her for meeting me. Walking away, I was so proud of myself I had quickly terminated tis meeting with my dignity intact.

Posted by: virgil at March 2, 2008 10:29 AM

What a coincidence WnW...I watched it yesterday with my son n daughter...It does make you think...especially, well not especially cos they were all good...the one about bringing joy to others:)) I liked that one.
Sunny here too and I am off to a Buddhist something...should be a great day.

And the funny, or contradictory thing, about being PC regarding weight is that it is okay to diss skinnies, or small people, but woe betide those slim/small people dissing the fatties or tall people.

Posted by: istj54 at March 2, 2008 10:18 AM

It's just a shame that often people don't see the "whole" person, (It is a bit hard on RSVP though!) rather than focusing on one thing such as weight, etc. A "cuddly" guy/girl who is kind, caring and funny may well be culled for someone who is a real "looker", yet looks deteriorate over time (barring lots of plastic surgery!) but a genuinely nice person nearly always stays the same. In 10-20 years people change a lot; I must admit it does give me a lift to see that some of the girls I knew in our "younger days" who were diet and figure-obsessed, and who all the boys knocked each other over for, are often a lot bigger than I am now!! (I know; there is mean streak in all of us!)

Posted by: amberlight58 at March 2, 2008 10:16 AM

woodnwine 8:55
Which comment did you want (or not want) me to expand on?

Err Amberlight. 9:29 The 2ndry sexual characteristics I mention apply to male looking at female dear...

Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 2, 2008 10:14 AM

WNW, I agree. One person's idea of what is average is to another person overweight. I doubt very much than it would be the other way around e.g. a thin person thought that they were of "average" weight. With the focus on body image today most thin people would definitely put themselves in the thin/Athletic category noting that in today's society with people getting bigger all the time, they are no longer "average" at all.

Posted by: amberlight58 at March 2, 2008 10:05 AM

Hi Willow,
I read your profile properly this time! Yes I see now why your RSVPi service would not be useful for everyone!!
Yes I like your hair too, perhaps you should put that as your main photo? It really suits you and makes you look (as the young people say it today) "hot".

Posted by: amberlight58 at March 2, 2008 9:45 AM

Saw The Bucket List last night with friends .... makes you think. OK, breakfast over ... beautiful day in Brissie so down to the pool with a good book and some music I think.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 2, 2008 9:35 AM

The only reason I think a full body shot is a good idea is because different people have very different ideas of what average build is. Then we get onto pc ... istj.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 2, 2008 9:34 AM

The face and head is important, lipe and eyes, but men want to see your curves and shape, particularly your secondary sexual features like your breast and the shape of your waist, hips, groin and arse. Along with pictures taken indoors showing poor taste in furnishings (never date a woman with vertical blinds or particleboard anything) and decoration, comes the cute or not so cute Toby, or whoever, doggy pictures.

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 1, 2008 10:24 PM

Groin? Marcus, you are kidding of course!Are you looking for a woman or a horse?

Well Marcus, I just looked at your profile and yes you have a full body shot but I don't see too many "secondary sexual features like your breast and the shape of your waist, hips, groin and arse" as they are either hidden by the grass or your hand across your "breast".

Also, what's the difference between a grown man posing with a skateboard, and a woman posing with her dog?
They are all types of props aren't they?
A dog is far cuter than a skateboard!!

Posted by: amberlight58 at March 2, 2008 9:29 AM

I have just realised that kittens frog PJ's are very on topic for 'Leap' Year Proposals.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 12:17 AM

Lol, glad that I have finally been on topic, even if indirectly through others

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at March 2, 2008 9:02 AM

"I would much rather larger than starved small and the oft accompanying psyche issues that seem to accompany undersize women. In the same way that morbidly obese girls are seen by many men as lower partner value, the practicalities of a active sex life are also diminshed. OF COURSE the same applies in the converse.
Cheers Marquis."

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 2, 2008 4:06 AM

What are you inferring here?

Posted by: woodnwine at March 2, 2008 8:55 AM

"WnW...correct me if I am wrong but my take on what you meant was outwardly affectionate...like touching in public, holding hands etc...I guess my last line there did come across a wee bit tawdry..wasn't meant to."

Posted by: istj54 at March 1, 2008 6:21 PM

No istj, it was timewarp saying that, not me .... even though I agree with this, I think it should probably be limited in a profile otherwise it can come accross as sleazy. I do however think this needs to be sorted out fairly quickly to make sure both people like the same .... I was talking about that ... definitely.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 2, 2008 8:39 AM

Marcus,

Learn how to change your spots to suit the occasion. Neither you nor Timewarp have mastered this trick.

If it helps in your primary objective (basically to get knickers off), then transmogrify into a Snag and start being sensitive about your feelings and express “Your Love” for her etc.

It also helps on this site if you are a cynical hypocrite.

Mr Pound Of Cheese got away with “Here’s your pound of cheese, now it’s into the cot with you.”

That doesn’t always work with every female. Some of the idiots actually want a penthouse, a yacht and a sports car.

The last one treated me as a sugar daddy but a tab was quietly being run up in the background.

Now she has this huge debit balance to work off.

And as for a hen’s party where the only entertainment on a Saturday night was to log onto rsvp and see what misogynist the femmo Nazis could abuse. OMG. The Lord Save Me.

Posted by: neuroticfish at March 2, 2008 7:13 AM

Decoratress/ K especially. Last night.
I think you have had a few cordials and are giving your little girls a rub. You really do have to accept that this is an adults blog and my offerings on relationship issues are broadly on topic- more so than the social club stuff on PJ's and drink preferences say and relevant.
My green ginger wine joke is obviously a piss take on the red wine wanking and Shawshanking that is prevalent here.
I was going to include purple wearing in my list of non datables but realised I have a couple of shirts with that color...
I think you have also taken vicarious umbrage because you are a dog owner. Your terrier with the hairdo may be cute to you but it is a symptom of a form of pet abuse. It is not as bad as the misguided woman here who brags about her British bulldog; an animal bred specifically for a facial deformity that some people find 'attractive'.
I have dated women across the whole size spectrum, no problem. My current lover is a size 18up/20 below which is 1 and 2 sizes above Australian average. For various extremely well understood and documented reasons, men go for women in the healthy BMI range. I would much rather larger than starved small and the oft accompanying psyche issues that seem to accompany undersize women. In the same way that morbidly obese girls are seen by many men as lower partner value, the practicalities of a active sex life are also diminshed. OF COURSE the same applies in the converse.
Cheers Marquis.

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 2, 2008 4:06 AM

Willow! You haven't been paying attention!

You omitted post-party Pickled Princess amdoingit, who was seaching last night for trackie bottoms, to go with the sin glet that I mentioned a minute ago.

The trouble with sin glets is that they're too thin, so the girls pull the doona up round their ears, and the breeze sneaks in between their toes.

That's why they need the bottom half of the passionkillers, in the absence of the 60 to 80 watts of comforting warmth that a bloke radiates into the bedding. When he's asleep.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 1:53 AM

Goodnight all.

Thanks Ms Bean, a new name for a willow poem in the future. I'm glad you can pick up on the willow humour, sometimes it takes me a few days to get the joke myself but by then I have forgotten why I said it.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 1:36 AM

Sue @ 10.19pm: And the same to you. You're just teasing me, you naughty girl.

As for me, I have zero expectations, but very high hopes. And great excitement.

Hey, it's a whole month since I last planned a get-together with a woman 2 whole states away. And that time there were a dozen lovelies involved.

It's a whole 50 years since the last time it happened to me with just one, with no "safety in numbers" to protect us from ourselves.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 1:31 AM

It's off to bed for me.

Ladies, enjoy your bubbles! I for one think it's fantastic that you've made friends with others on the site. Anyone who calls it clique-y is surely just jealous.

hello and goodnight willow! I am new to the blogs and enjoyed your wit and humour immensely.

Posted by: impossiblebean at March 2, 2008 1:26 AM

Hello to nina, decoratress, aunty and VDU (and the bubbles). Good to see your blog finger is still working timewarp and hello to impossible bean, a new name I think.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 1:21 AM

Oh kaz you have been busy. Please note I did not call you Aunty having been suitably chastised earlier in the week. Now I must be aware of just K, K for Kaz, K for Killer and K for Kollection of women with fine satin adornments.

Oh and K for kiss and kiss more.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 1:16 AM

Goodhumoured Disclaimer:

The last few posts under my name were made by auntykaz, who at present is attending a ..... gasp .... clique-type get-together at my place ...

(oops, will that attract a few of the anti-clique brigade I wonder....?)

My sole contribution for the evening has been a short one.. "Get your hand off it, Marcus".... which, I have to say, I stand behind 100%.

Posted by: decoratress at March 2, 2008 1:13 AM

Hello girls in the hills! And goodnight.

Keep warm in your jimjams, sin glets or nixatall. And sleep tight.

VDU - surely at least an incoholic nightcap?

And enjoy your brekkies, before you head homeswards.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 12:55 AM

Stones green ginger wine......
So eighties it is not funny and not worthy of any decent comment.....

Posted by: decoratress at March 2, 2008 12:48 AM

Oldergent @ 12.20am:

Do the fellers who prefer wider women all have to have every one of the eight characteristics that you listed for them, or can they get away with only six or seven?

I can only identify myself with 2 of your 8 characterists, but I prefer women with some padding on their bones - say VDU's delectable shape, and up to a fair bit wider.

Am I the exception that tests your rule?

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 2, 2008 12:44 AM

Can't believe you lovely ladies weren't swayed by the Stone's green wine leg opener comment!

Posted by: impossiblebean at March 2, 2008 12:42 AM

Willow, that post was signed by ........K
Which is the sign off from auntykaz who is me.....
l am at decoratresses house and read marcuses post and just had to reply....

have no fear willow it really is your old auntykaz..........K

Posted by: decoratress at March 2, 2008 12:42 AM

And as an aside Marcus.....

your profile pictures do not show, shall we say, a man worthy of any contact point.....

can l ask, why are you here..

Posted by: decoratress at March 2, 2008 12:38 AM

decoratress, now that is some payout. I have a couple of requests for you.

Firstly, if I ever deserve one like that can you give me advance notice so I can get my dictionary out.

Secondly, can I borrow you perhaps once a year for when I need to pay someone out because I couldn't come up with anything like that.

To be honest I have probably been called the majority of them at some point in life but never at once!

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 12:36 AM

willow... ninaschen says hi to you dressed in her flannies and with a bit of champagne about her..........

Auntykaz says that when you are located in the hills, flannies are a requisite apparel it gets a bit cold here in the autumn.....

Victoradownunder is into the fanta as she can't cope with the oodles of bubbles abounding her....

Cheers to all .......................K

Posted by: decoratress at March 2, 2008 12:32 AM

I fear we may already be experiencing that particular evening but not in a fun way!

For me I prefer silk or satin if something needs to worn :)

Posted by: impossiblebean at March 2, 2008 12:26 AM

marcus, What has a woman done to you to deserve such vitriolic rubbish??

You would have to be the most destructive narcissistic male l have ever encountered here....Do you ever get kisses from women who think that you may be attractive to them.......

You seriously have some issues with women who have a modicum of self respect and self worth.............

If you have nothing to say that may be of any worth to anybody may l suggest that you retire to your egocentric, neanderthal , primordial youth, and get over your self indulgent pathetic maleness............K

Posted by: decoratress at March 2, 2008 12:25 AM

Marcus,
Another observation I have noted with the type of male attracted to the larger woman, is that they seem to be thin to well built, tall academically inclined and project a superiority to all and sundry and seem to be visually challenged, and have a perchance for crudity in their thinking and language when it comes to sex, and their obsession with it, probably caused by the lack of practical experience. Then I have often noticed that they will deny it vehemently.
OG.

Posted by: oldergent at March 2, 2008 12:20 AM

impossiblebean, thanks for broadening the range of PJ options. Another few nights of this then we can start a zoo full of VB drunken animals, myself included although I shall partake of either wine or brandy and coke.

I did note however you did not choose to enlighten us with your preference!

I have just realised that kittens frog PJ's are very on topic for 'Leap' Year Proposals.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 2, 2008 12:17 AM

I took it that way at first too OG and was offended but when I looked again at his comments it was more about the insecurity of men than it was about fat women. Just because the lower functioning man thinks that a 'high status attractive woman' is out of his league doesn't mean the chubbier woman will accept him - the way Marcus words things is merely to get a rise out of people and can be seen from a mile away but it doesn't negate the fact that these men do in fact exist. Marcus is entitled to have his own preferences and opinions but I for one am glad he's the minority - he's just yet to realise it.

Posted by: impossiblebean at March 2, 2008 12:13 AM

Marcus...

get your hand off it.

Posted by: decoratress at March 2, 2008 12:12 AM

Marcus,
You are presuming that all fat women are unattractive, such generalization is wrong and you well know it, I have seen many beautifull fat women. Just because they do not appeal to me does not mean they have to be demeaned or ridiculed by anyone for that matter. Also I bet there are a lot of peepers out there that are not small and slim that would agree with me. I have been waiting for you to get stuck into the hordes of woman tramping up the beaches of this country, that would increase the numbers you could insult 100 fold.
As always Cheers to you too.
OG

Posted by: oldergent at March 2, 2008 12:01 AM

Spot on with your comments there on men who react to the larger woman Marcus. I do find myself surprised to be agreeing with you however it is only a generalisation and there are men out there who don't just judge you on physicality but rather as a whole package.

Willlow - I have a friend who has the VB logo on her flannels, another friend has one with cows. The choices are many and varied :)

Posted by: impossiblebean at March 1, 2008 11:39 PM

Marcus, you are really on target tonight!
I couldn't find a thing to disagree with. If you'd taken 3 times the words to say it all, you could have been me talking.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 1, 2008 11:22 PM

wishful, silky oak I think. Can I think about the pink PJ's. Frogs I can handle, they have sexy legs until they croak it.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 1, 2008 11:21 PM

Necroticflesh.
You can be a SNAG. For me it implies support for all all sorts of dubious nonsense. Become a BANGA. Beaut Articulate No nonsense Generous Australian

OG . 1-3 @ 4:16pm. Men who can only react to women who are obese and unnattractive are projecting. What they probably cannot do is react/interact succesfully sexually with attractive, healthy women. Many males have no choice but to, or like to, follow, the path of lowest investment when itcomes to being chosen as a woman's sex partner. Generally it is a lot easier to persuade a girl who has limited choice of suitors to choose you- than an attractive high status woman.

NTUA 1-3 @ 4:15 pm.
What is wrong with a casual relationship I'd like to know? I have enjoyed the odd 1 or 2 precisely because of the lack of intensity. Despite what they pretend, lot of women I have met here are incapable of conducting anything but a casual relationship anyway.
They may think they deserve more than casual commitment but are unable to provide the depth to properly engage. Of course when things peter out because of alleged inability to 'commit' with these intellectual inadequates, the bloke is called out as a Player; mind you he can sometimes still be welcome for a surreptitious nocturnal visit though.
One of the thing that I find annoying about women's profiles is a lack of a full body shot.
Particularly when they have extolled their curvaceous physicality.
The face and head is important, lipe and eyes, but men want to see your curves and shape, particularly your secondary sexual features like your breast and the shape of your waist, hips, groin and arse. Along with pictures taken indoors showing poor taste in furnishings (never date a woman with vertical blinds or particleboard anything) and decoration, comes the cute or not so cute Toby, or whoever, doggy pictures. A lot of men, are slightly tongue in cheek about the RSVP population of forthright mild misandrists who maintain large male dogs too.
Cheers Marcus

Posted by: laughsandtalks at March 1, 2008 10:24 PM

but the future is hard to predict....

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 29, 2008 5:53 PM

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at March 1, 2008 10:19 PM

Willow...if good crickets bats are made from Willow..what are bad ones made from? Can cricketers blame their poorly made bats?

You can wear PJs like Kitten does Willow, so long as yours are cute pink ones with little frogs on them :)

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at March 1, 2008 10:01 PM

Hello picklessister. Sorry.

Been away for a few hours emailing (2-finger hunt-and-peck, and you know how long-winded I am...) and then follow-up phoning an absolutely delightful prospect that I actually met on the blogs. My heart is all aflutter with long-range anticipation.

Liked what you said about a couple of things earlier in the day, and/or yesterday. Time flies when...

Can't still remember what you said - my mind is busy elsewhere. Was it on the Customer Service blog?

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 1, 2008 9:54 PM

virgil, you are quite correct good cricket bats are made from willow wood. At least they were in the past, not sure about now.

As for PJ's, if it cool for kitten to wear them then it is for me too.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 1, 2008 8:14 PM

Is everyone off on their honeymoons after the marriage proposals yesterday...sure seems quiet! Helloo echo echo echo...

Posted by: picklessister at March 1, 2008 8:11 PM

I don't think chivalry is dead either. In fact , probably the only one who hasn't paid for my cuppa( and I do offer to pay my share) was a fellow who was single, never married, no kids and no doubt could have paid for the whole rstaurant's cuppas. I guess that is why he is still single ( in his 50's).

Posted by: blueeyes1955 at March 1, 2008 8:04 PM

...Weta...I loved that song by W&W...Footsteps...saw it esterday on Music Max. They were a classy act.

WnW...correct me if I am wrong but my take on what you meant was outwardly affectionate...like touching in public, holding hands etc...I guess my last line there did come across a wee bit tawdry..wasn't meant to.

Posted by: istj54 at March 1, 2008 6:21 PM

"woodnwine...I agree but it seems ridiculous when a lot of people have an "high expectation list"....there are many men (and I assume women) who look very average and overweight and yet they are seeking someone beautiful, slim and all the rest of it..to me that is a joke!...obviously beautiful, slim people will be looking for the same."

Posted by: pixiemagic at March 1, 2008 3:22 PM

Yes, pixie ... many women also have false impressions of themselves and seek something/someone they clearly are not. Deja vu anyone?

Posted by: woodnwine at March 1, 2008 6:07 PM

hi laughsandtalks,oldergent sorry for the delay in thanking you for you advice[time flies], the ladies in the west must be kinder as out of six stamps iam now corresponding with five very interesting women[have had coffee with two of them] is having this much fun legal? thanks for the 'kiss' oldergent,i'll keep you in mind if i start doing it tough,lol,ronin

Posted by: roninfox at March 1, 2008 6:06 PM

" agree...but don't put it in your profile before you have even met someone...keep it for the first or second date...think you'll find it puts lots of women off in a profile.

I can openly and honestly talk about anything face to face...but it's another thing putting it on the internet:))"
Posted by: istj54 at March 1, 2008 2:42 PM

I think istj, we are talking about different things. I also don't like overtly sexual inuendos in profiles .... I'm talking about other things.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 1, 2008 6:05 PM

well, istj54 and "sugarbabe" - technically speaking, B&S Womack of the very talented Womack extended family (Bobby wrote California Dreamin' for The Mamas and The Papas - amongst other si gnificant songs) first sang It's All over Now - they wrote it.....

...but Mick and the boys popularised it on their 1964 album "The Rolling Stones 12x5.....

......weta - trivia junkie and pedant.......

Posted by: weta at March 1, 2008 5:49 PM

Sugarbabe

You can score as many points as you like with me at the moment, I am feeling so sensitive and tender.

Might even revert to being a Sensitive Little Snag again, or at least, pro tem, or was that a Super Little Snag; take a break from being a chauvinistic misogymist pig for a while. Yawn.

Posted by: neuroticfish at March 1, 2008 5:45 PM

...technically, you asked who "sang" it...so surely I get a point for Mick.

Posted by: istj54 at March 1, 2008 4:55 PM

Rolling Stones, Sugar Babe

Posted by: neuroticfish at March 1, 2008 4:24 PM

Personally I always offer to pay half if I'm on a date but am more often than not told to put my wallet away - chivalry isn't dead and I like it that way.

From what I've read on these blogs you all seem to be relatively intelligent chaps - how come you didn't wise up after the first few dates?

Posted by: impossiblebean at March 1, 2008 4:24 PM

Nevertearusapart

I have a female friend who caught a 2 inch whiting the other day (it accidentally jumped on her line), so I suggested that I take a photo for her and that could be her main signature photo on rsvp.

And Pixie, I think you’re sweet too. Just don’t start calling me Sugar Daddy.

Posted by: neuroticfish at March 1, 2008 4:23 PM

Mick Jagger Sugardaddy...

Posted by: istj54 at March 1, 2008 4:18 PM

Tw&pm.
it may be some people want the opposite to themselves, to say slim and beautiful is a misnomer in a lot of cases, slim to average is my preferrence, hopefully some slim lady might want a slightly overweight man in my age group and to heck with her looks and height. I have know men that could not react to a woman unless she was obese, their choice. Bill with the expences your dating activity entails I can understand the need to share costs. Myself I feel uncomfortable, if I don't pay, I do not mind sending the stamp, what I do mind is when the stamp is not responded to. I have had a nice lady send me a stamp and unfortunately we did not click but have had a nice exchange of mail, as I have said on a previous post that there should be a kiss that says" if I send the stamp will you answer". They may even sell more stamps that way. Some contacts are made for friendship and advice as you are aware.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at March 1, 2008 4:16 PM

pixiemagic@3:22pm
"there are many men (and I assume women) who look very average and overweight and yet they are seeking someone beautiful, slim and all the rest of it..to me that is a joke!...obviously beautiful, slim people will be looking for the same"

Agree with you there pixie, I find it fascinating the number of men (& prob women too, but I don't read womens profiles) who certainly don't fall into the "stunningly attractive/supermodel" looks department, but want/expect a woman/man that does! I think that people of a similar "level" of attractiveness are generally better suited. Also interesting I've noticed a lot of men who are "a little overweight or large" or whatever that want a woman who is "slim/athletic". Do they look in the mirror and see Brad Pitt? I mean a healthy sense of self is good, but some are bordering on the ridiculous.

Also, I find it kind of sad the number of people who purely rely on their photo/looks, who seem to think that's enough (and obviously think they're of the supermodel category) who don't bother completing their profiles, because surely their looks alone should be enough!! lol. I always give these people a wide berth (no matter how physically attractive I think they are), because you can only look at someone so much, you do need to be able to have a decent conversation at some point. I may be wrong, I tend to think these people are just after something shallow and casual as well??

Hey, why do people put on photos where u can't even see their faces?? I'm more interested in seeing someone's face than the fish they caught or the motor bike they ride heh. As for the naked torso shots, fun for a look but that's all haha.

Hey u gotta keep ur sense of humour don't you guys!!

cheers
NTUA

Posted by: nevertearusapart at March 1, 2008 4:15 PM

: neuroticfish...you really are a scream (<;)!!!!

Posted by: pixiemagic at March 1, 2008 4:13 PM

Timewarp

You are so right, yet again.

She was calling me “Daddy” towards then, every time she was hitting me up for money, which started to get a bit too frequent.

“Well, she used to run around with every man in town
She spent all my money, playing her high class game
She put me out, it was a pity how I cried
Tables turn and now her turn to cry
Because I used to love her, but it's all over now

Well, I used to wake in the morning, got her breakfast in bed
But she'd do nothing to ease my aching head
But now she's here and there, with every man in town
Still trying to take me for that same old clown
Because I used to love her, but it's all over now” ♫♫♫♫

Now who sang that. Rammstein wasn’t it.

Posted by: neuroticfish at March 1, 2008 4:09 PM

Everyone your comments are just so right!

Timewarp your post at 12:12 is spot on:

"And far more important, how to recognise in time, the type who are every woman's kisses and flowers romantic dream, then as you drive away from the wedding reception, Mr Hyde takes the wheel, and tells you that you're his slave now, and kicks will now replace the kisses, whether you submit or not.
Happened to 2 friends of mine, and for one it was her 3rd marriage."

That is one of my biggest fears, how can you be certain if someone on her 3rd marriage can be sucked in?!

I know now there are warning signs posted on various sites about dangerous relationships that were not there in my younger days.
About being alert to signs like wanting to get "serious" too quickly, ringing you or calling in all the time just to see where you are, disapproving of your friends/family and not wanting you to see them, etc.
And despite NF's past comments about women having low self-esteem/respect, even confident women with a high self-esteem can get caught as some men find them irresistable as they are even more of a "challenge"!

Neurotic Fish for once I fully agree with you @ 1:42 pm. More often the things you say make lots of sense but your acerbic tones make you sound (maybe) more misogynist than you really are.

ISTJ you are right @ 2:42 pm; a man posting such comments will probably be written off quickly as being a sleaze or a player by al ot of women. Most of us had, in our younger days, at least one date with a guy who thought that because you went out with him you must want to have sex with him. God knows that is the last thing we need now!! Even the first date might be bit soon for some people - surely you could hang out for the second or third before you put your sexual needs on the table!

For some women sex is tied up with emotions, sex without feelings for the person is empty and lonely. For most men I know this is quite different; as one long-term boyfriend told me in my 'younger days' when I was feeling unsure about our 18 month relationship: "You don't have to love someone to have sex with them!!"
(Strangely I already knew that!) And yes in my younger days I did try it, but it wasn't really for me!
This is probably why so many of us (women)felt so empty when our husbands still wanted to have sex with us despite the fact we knew they no longer loved us!

Sure there are lots of ladies out there who are happy to have sex very early on in a relationship, and good luck to them. But for some of us there needs to be something "more".
So yes, I may be 'still looking' in 5 years time, if so I guess that is the way it will be.

Guys, just don't scare off someone who may actually be right for you because you are scared your next woman might be not overly sexy or that old chestnut "frigid" (a term so easily thrown around by men who either don't know how to respect and treat a a woman or who aren't that great in the sack anyway!!)
Cheers :)

Posted by: amberlight58 at March 1, 2008 4:07 PM

naughtyfish: Thank you. Up with your best. And an excellent song for a bump and grind, with or without strip and/or whip.

But I think you got one name wrong. Shouldn't "toy boy" read "sugar daddy"?

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 1, 2008 4:00 PM

Pixiemagic: Very good point. I believe the overweight men looking for a slim woman are timewarped back to when a girl measured the girth of the wallet, not the girth of the man.

Or if their wallet is skinny, they're just self-centredly thinking of what they'd like, not what they deserve.

Count me out. I'm looking for someone who like me, enjoys physical exercise, and like me, needs a lot of it to keep the kilograms at bay: my match, not my opposite.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 1, 2008 3:51 PM

Timewarp,

Yes, these women keep using and abusing me and my generosity and loving good nature.

I could probably sneak in that they continually cause me grief by using and abusing my body and I just don’t want to be a toyboy anymore- they should just respect me for my above average intelligence and brains rather than my good looks but that would be sounding like an old woman.

As for my preferred age range, I haven’t read my own profile for months so I haven’t a clue what it says. I wasn’t aware that anyone on this site got past the photos anyway.

But I do believe that Mr. Pound Of Cheese and Valentines Day Noodle Box is back on the market. Girls, feel free to rush him, but he is only one of many like that on this site.

The warning signs start when they want you to go halves on the initial miserable cup of coffee. It’s all downhill from then on and NEVER EVER gets any better. Take my word for it.

As Shirley Bassey once sang:

“The minute you walked in the door,
I could see that you weren’t a great big spender,
So great big wanker,
Don’t bother spending any time with me” ♫♫♫

That was the version of the traditional song that my mates in the strip tease industry refuse to perform to.

Posted by: neuroticfish at March 1, 2008 3:50 PM

woodnwine...I agree but it seems ridiculous when a lot of people have an "high expectation list"....there are many men (and I assume women) who look very average and overweight and yet they are seeking someone beautiful, slim and all the rest of it..to me that is a joke!...obviously beautiful, slim people will be looking for the same.

Posted by: pixiemagic at March 1, 2008 3:22 PM

Virgil @ 1.36pm: Let's all paste that onto our monitor wallpaper, in 36 point Goudy or even bigger. Sublime.

naughtyfish @ 1.42: Good try, now-visible-again mate. Looks like her-54 wouldn't go with you to Europe, so you're open for love business again, to look for another "taker". (Not a 20-something, ISTJ - he's after 30-60.)

I'm a bit chary of age 54. Just as boys are most know-it-all at ages 4 and in their late teens (even I recognised that I was insufferably arrogant at 18...), and just as they have resultant accident-mortality graph-peaks then, I've found age 54 to be the watershed between increasing demands based on increasing experience, and the softening that may come from spending increasing time with grandchildren and pets. Or from feeling less popular in the beauty market. A watershed for many, whatever the cause.

You mentioned that within your commendably-omniverous target age range, you prefer the older tail (of the bell-shaped curve), so let me recommend the 58-63 age group.

Still youthfully beautiful, vibrant and energetic, but no longer quite as self-assured or picky, let alone stroppy. I can't resist them.

Back to your nice little headlined "Yes but":

Thank you for following on from my 12.12pm condemnation of tightwad user males, but I think you missed the point.

We were talking about tightwad/old-fashioned FEMALES who send the first kiss, and when that leads to an invitation to put their money where their pucker-up is, they don't do so, because THEY are so tightwad/old-fashioned.

We weren't discussing the bloke they were onto, who was saying yes - follow your heart - keep on chatting me up. Go, gal - do it! And when we actually meet, I'll buy the first drink.

I've just had a flash - maybe your well-documented problems with distainful women who use you are all because you take their clear tightwad signals as an invitation to shower them with gifts, starting with picking up the tab for their first email stamp.

Golddiggerphilia? Had it myself till my mid-20s. Goes with "Be nice - I'm rich." (Which I was then. Shouted some girl or other to a dinner dance on Friday evening and another to another on Saturday. Just for company.)

Your $2 cheese episode was a typical case of Berne's 3-handed game called "Let's pull a fast one on Joey". You were Joey.

Games have a payoff for all players, and Joey's payoff is that he gets to sing "Ain't it Awful" to all his mates, or for you, perhaps Bessie Smith sings "She was his woman, and she done him wrong."

Or you could get out the old guitar or the new blog, and entertain us with that song yourself. Wait a bit - you did already. And collected a barrowload of sympathy, Joey.

Next stir please!

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 1, 2008 3:21 PM

I think less about what I 'want' in a partner and more along the lines of what I 'don't want'.

I think to have such set ideas and/or ideals could just make it near impossible to find someone that suits.

I can easily identify the characterstics/traits/values that flag incompatibility very early on and make the decision to not go there with them early in the piece.

For the rest of what makes them what they are, as long as nothing is abrasive to the point where I couldn't cope, then I accept those things as part of a person that could potentially become very dear to me.

The diversities can bring people together just as much as the things in common if you have the right attitude about it.

One problem that can possibly arise is if one person tries to convert the other to their way of thinking or insist on involvement in a particular interest and not allow them the freedom to choose and have their own opinion.

If you have certain criteria then that's fine, this is purely my opinion and the way I look at how to select prospective life partners.

And then there's always the very good chance I'm wrong ;)

Posted by: dharma61 at March 1, 2008 2:58 PM

I agree...but don't put it in your profile before you have even met someone...keep it for the first or second date...think you'll find it puts lots of women off in a profile.

I can openly and honestly talk about anything face to face...but it's another thing putting it on the internet:))

Posted by: istj54 at March 1, 2008 2:42 PM

istj - pc is a touchy topic and I don't want to draw the wrath of many however I see so many people complaining about what people want in their partner but I think ... so what? People know what they want if they have thought it through and are being honest with themselves ... let people look for what they want to in a partner.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 1, 2008 2:32 PM

Well then...why not just add Shawshank Redemption not only to your movie faves but to interests and sport and books and why not the soundtrack in the music section?

Gotta say guys, when I read a profile and it says all that stuff about tactile, massages etc, no matter how eloquently worded it is, a quick, "No thanks" from me...Wait till you at least have a few dates to bring that stuff up...so to speak. Personally I don't like to be touched too much until I have made some sort of mental commitment to a man and too much touchy feely before that is a real turn-off to me.

Posted by: istj54 at March 1, 2008 2:21 PM

WnW @ 10.21am: Last but far from least!

I reckon that post was one of the best for weeks. Well bleep done, mate! Exerpts:

" The giving of affection and being romantic...

Some people think this is such a small issue but I know from talking to others and from personal experience that it is in actual fact an enormous issue and always leaves the more affectionate/romantic person feeling empty, lonely and unsatisfied..."

"I am determined to get it right next time around and will not settle for ordinary. I don't mean an ordinary person ... I mean an ordinary relationship. I want a relationship with someone I have lots in common with and where there is plenty of affection, love, lust, sex etc."

WnW, that resonated in my heart.

What's the use of having a dearest darling if they keep you at arm's length, and begrudge every moment that you try to 'distract them from their own priorities'

"That is why I think we need to drop some of the political correctness and stick it out for the type of person we really want to meet."

Michael, I'm going to look at my own profile and make sure I've been clear enough about the amount of emotional romance and physical skin contact (sexual AND platonic)that I need, to know that I'm actually in a relationship.

And I'll try to word it demurely enough not to upset anyone who is so politically correct that they want you to call a spade a manual entrenching tool.
(ISTJ: I believe that's what he meant by PC.)

Off to lunch and work - gotta catch up too much work time that I lost this week, blogging continuously to distract me from the major financial reverse. Now I gotta reverse that reverse. Seeyez.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 1, 2008 2:06 PM

I'm glad you enjoyed my profile Virgil... I hoped someone would eventually, as not many Melbourne have thus far!!!

Hawks V Crows tonight? Good luck Virgil, one of us will be very happy... I'll miss the game though as we've got a mini blogger's meet/slumber party that will only involve talking, laughing and drinking - and plenty of each!!!

"It's my belief that most women are braver than most men, and also that monogamy is more natural to the average woman than to the average man" Couldn't agree more Bill.

And Bean is spot on too - I don't think many of us see the little niggly faults early on as everyone is on their best behaviour initially... months down the track it may well be a different story.

On the other hand, some folk SCREAM early warning signals that only a fool or a desperado could ignore!! Eyes and ears open, people...

Posted by: victoriadownunder at March 1, 2008 2:02 PM

Maybe women who kiss back instead of spending money on a stamp to respond to a wanker male who invites an email from her, are not gold diggers.

Maybe their eyesight is perfect and their olfactory sensory organs even better

Maybe they don’t want to start paying their half share for a $3.60 cup of coffee, which usually presages a tightwad, a pennypincher, and, when the relationship is underway, a user and an abuser.

Plenty of dud males on this site.

Shame there is no desktop trash can associated with the rsvp program

Posted by: neuroticfish at March 1, 2008 1:42 PM

It makes sense, Timewarp, that you would be looking for someone close to perfect for you - why would you be looking for anything else? If I'm reading it correctly you've made the mistake of marrrying the wrong,albeit lovely, person before. No need to justify yourself to anyone about who your ideal partner is.

Posted by: impossiblebean at March 1, 2008 1:38 PM

timewarp i agree, 6 months is long enough, right now is better than right in 2 years time, and longer than 6 months is better than 6 months.

Posted by: virgil at March 1, 2008 1:36 PM

impossiblebean @ 12.56pm: Very good points.

I posted a day or so ago on "just responded .." and discussed it at some length. (don't seem to be able to leave a single stone unturned - 55 years ago that got me High Ds, and never lost the habit ...)

Personally, in 2 years I've never used that excuse. Just have the honesty and the courage to say "Thanks but no thanks" or "Why the hell not - OK, send me an email". (And 4 out of 5 then don't - they're too co-dependent or too tight.)

For me, decision time is not when I've contacted someone else - to keep on getting my first date a week, I need to send out 3 or 4 kisses every week.

For me, it's not when we've had 2 dates and agreed on a 3rd. For me it's when we've both agreed to go exclusive, and for me that means hiding both our profiles.

Till then, I'm up for better offers. Like ISTJ, I'm eventually looking for someone that I think is close to perfect FOR ME.

But I'm OK about having some wonderful time with someone less perfect, along the way - that "living in the moment today and loving it" stuff from this morning.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 1, 2008 1:32 PM

ISTJ @ 11.42am: Bravo twice!

1) It's my belief that most women are braver than most men, and also that monogamy is more natural to the average woman than to the average man.

So I believe that it's very wise to wait for the man to build up his lust (and hopefully also his love), enough to offer to renounce his freedom to roam.

To wait till he gets desperate enough to say the words that she's usually been hoping to hear, since way back in their togetherness.

2) At your lifestage, yes, he would have to be pretty wonderful to deserve a slice of your already-full-of-kids-and-pets emotional life, and you certainly shouldn't settle for anything less.

But down the track at my stage, with kids moved out and not allowed pets, I frequently remember the joy it gave me to have a beloved to focus on, to love (preferably not unrequitedly), to cherish with small loving thoughtful actions, and to enjoy tactilely - maybe just briefly stroking a knee that had come to see what I was writing. And hopefully with luck, some fairly-frequent horizontal reciprocation.

So I'm now desperate enough to settle for Ms Right-Enuff who thinks I'm Mr Right-Enuff, and a year or even 6 months would be long enuff, if it only lasts that long.

But of course, you hope for much longer than that, at any age. Yonks with luck - plus some serious ongoing emotional input into the relationship from both parties.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 1, 2008 1:01 PM

In trying to see the best in someone you often ignore the early warning signs -more pften than not you seek excuses for them. It's just a learning thing as far as I can tell and working out what you think you deserve. Some people just thnk they don't deserve the best. It takes time to get control of those thoughts.

Re: 'recently contactng someone else' I used that excuse because I hadd but left my profile up just in case he didn't reply and guess what? He didn't! Another one of those just seeing if I can make them respond people. Clearly he's not interested so I don't know why he bothered. Onwards and upwards i say.

Posted by: impossiblebean at March 1, 2008 12:56 PM

I think if someone isn't interested enough (or too tight!) to part with a few dollars on a stamp in order to contact you, it's a pretty good indication of what you will encounter if you were to date such a person. Have had a long term relationship with someone who was very stingy and tight with his money when it came to me/us but had no problem whatsoever spending copious amounts on grog, his car, etc.

How do you see the warning signs of this early on, good question, sometimes it's very well hidden and you're quite possibly too blinded by love or lust to see the true picture. A great night for this particular man was me going to his place, collecting (& paying for on the way) beer/bourbon, and take away, whilst we sat at his place, he got drunk and listened to loud music of his choice. Ahh the romance!! lol. Don't get me wrong, the occasional night like this is fun, but not ALL the time. The "I'll pay you back later" line wears very thin too. Hmm thinking back, this relationship cost me a fortune both money wise and emotionally.

On another subject, I'm starting to pull my hair out with the number of "recently contacted someone else" replies. I do wonder if all these "someone else(s)" know these people are still on RSVP, everyday???

Timewarp you pose some good questions, would be interested to hear other lady bloggers ideas on the warning signs etc.

Posted by: nevertearusapart at March 1, 2008 12:39 PM

what happened to the suggestions blog?

it was here this morning and now it is gone?

Posted by: virgil at March 1, 2008 12:37 PM

VDU put it so well in her profile, saying who kisses, emails. That sounds fair to me.

Like you say, timewarp, I can be glad.

Hopefully we all accumulate wisdom in our journey.

I wonder how I qualify for being the slow learner in this, my response was, I feel correct from the first contact to the last.

I have a very nice lifestyle at the moment, a nice girlfriend would enhance that, but, like ISTJ I dont see it as absoutely necessary to have a woman in my life under any circumstance, it must be right.

Posted by: virgil at March 1, 2008 12:31 PM

Virgil @ 10.11: Mate, I think you got it dead wrong about that determined counter-kisser who, every time you invited her email, sent another kiss instead.

I don't think she's a slow learner at all. I think you're the slow learner, mate.

I believe she is actually either

* an old-fashioned girl who believes the man should supply every penny (hey - now I'm also back past 14.2.66) that is spent while you two are getting to know one another (and also every $100, once you become a couple, of course)

or

* a new-fashioned gold-digger, with exactly the same agenda, but no longer any societal permission for that attitude.

Mate, be glad she gave you such a strong signal so soon. Next!

............................................................

To be fair,since wives went out to work too, I have heard too many stories of husbands who felt that doing so qualified the wife to pay for the groceries, phone, power etc - sometimes even the house payments, while they spent all their wages on boy toys and/or booze for their mates - sometimes the cat-house.

I wonder what clues those men gave during courting? Did every date involve her readying him for this lifestyle, by feeding him a free dinner at her place, letting him take control of her TV remote on her sofa, and then march her off to her bed? Wouldn't be surprised.

Can the sisters supply our female readers with any other hints on how to identify this type of parasite? (Other than offering him the above, and seeing if he's selfish enough to accept it.)

And far more important, how to recognise in time, the type who are every woman's kisses and flowers romantic dream, then as you drive away from the wedding reception, Mr Hyde takes the wheel, and tells you that you're his slave now, and kicks will now replace the kisses, whether you submit or not.

Happened to 2 friends of mine, and for one it was her 3rd marriage.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 1, 2008 12:12 PM

Kaz...I would love to meet up one sunny Saturday at Doyle's for lunch or drinks:))

Posted by: istj54 at March 1, 2008 11:46 AM

Slightsync...in answer to your question...probably no, as I would always wonder if he would have asked me...and cringe if he said no...also we are still in a world where the man likes to ask...so why not let him have this small/huge privilige?

Woodnwine...I don't know what pc you want dropped...tell us please so that we may comment...I, for one, will not, have never and don't intend ever to settle. If it's not great then I would rather continue my very happy, but very single life...alone...or as alone as you can be with children still at home...and a dog and cats... At my age, I find the thought of just being with someone just because some think I should be appalling...unfair to the other person cos they deserve to be with someone who has not just settled for them...also cringe stuff.

Posted by: istj54 at March 1, 2008 11:42 AM

Virgil could it be Sir Lancelot????

I have the words to "The Lady Of Shallot" on a Loreena McKennitt cd. Words by Tennyson.
The only reference to a "sir" is to Lancelot.
Hope that helps................K

Posted by: auntykaz at March 1, 2008 11:19 AM

I have a print of "The Lady of Shalott above my computer, on the wall, It has been in this position in 3 of my last houses now. I have only just noticed, the little boat she is riding in, has a name, it look slike "The Sir ? not sure what word is there.

Posted by: virgil at March 1, 2008 10:36 AM

Well I asked the online German penpal to consider if he wanted to try and see how things went with he and I as it was a leap year and therefore I feel was OK to not give up without a fight. Of course now is not the time for him to travel 9,985 kms so I have moved on. I may be deluded but he and I did have a connection.

Any day is a good day to take a leap of faith or whatever...to be bold and if you see someone you fancy, why not let them know? Someone caught my eye while doing my door to door sales job, I knew there is a God, now I think He/She actually cares about the little things too. And it could end up another friendship thing as a lot of you know I am a bit gutless, committment phobic, concerned about losing my house, independence, space and any amount of other excuses. Not to mention the "list"/ideal partner requirements./predujices/phobias??? (maybe)/excuses, fears due to past experiences and of course abandonment issues and God knows what else.

I decided to think less and do more.

Now I have Skype!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Free phone calls (no headset yet but its installed)..........with one overseas friend and her fiance on it as contacts. I will not engage in long IM flirtations again.......face to face is best. But I will get a headset for Skype and buy another web cam (the other broke) and hope to find people that are real or they can find me, of course that includes RSVP bloggers.

What sexist nonsense to suggest that a woman can only propose to a man on one day every four years...ludicrous!

Posted by: istj54 at March 1, 2008 9:37 AM

istj54 you are right, women should propose to a man they want to on any damn day. Would you propose marriage to a man?

Proposed cohabitation is quite a big thing as well..............

Well I pulled out all stops as far as spelling out to the OS guy how I felt (which was virtual) I said we should meet and see if he was anything there. By it being a leap year, I felt that was an endorsement. He has made his choice not to wait for me as he would have to earn and save to come to Oz and I would have to save to go halfway to him. Reckon it is time for me also to lose the "its too hard mentality" and look locally as advised (thankyou) by a lot of yo blogger. And congrats to FL2 and Amuso .
Down at South Port beach were a young couple getting their wedding photos done...........so sweet.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at March 1, 2008 10:28 AM

Neurotic Fish

I had a look at your profile, as I look at profiles of most bloggers.

As I expected, it was amusing well thought out and honest.

I must admit I was surprised by the new age reference, as it seems a little different to some of your comments in some of the bloggs.

It is courageous to have a displayed profile on here.

Posted by: virgil at March 1, 2008 10:27 AM

Willow - sorry mate, I rarely blog after dinner as there are too many other things to do. OK, firstly, don't change your name or you will never be a legend .... people already know your name so just stick with it. Secondly, PJs .... what the hell does anyone want PJs for? Just something more to wash. Just sleep between the sheets mate, silk if you want.

OK, now that is all answered, I want to get serious this fine Saturday morning if I may. I was speaking to a gorgeous friend of mine yesterday and she is finding herself in a situation where many people find themselves after only a couple of years of marriage. Now this woman is beautiful (to look at and to know), late 30s and already her marriage is falling apart because her and her husband are diametrically opposed when it comes to the giving of affection and being romantic.

Some people think this is such a small issue but I know from talking to others and from personal experience that it is in actual fact an enormous issue and always leaves the more affectionate/romantic person feeling empty, lonely and unsatisfied. I would urge you all to sort this out very early on in a relationship and realise that people don't usually change ... they are how they are and can only change if they really want to.

I think this in some way leads onto the topic of being selective (whilst still remaining somewhat open minded and realistic). I have been on and off RSVP since late 2006 and have only really dated 4 women in that time but after a very unsatisfactory marriage I am determined to get it right next time around and will not settle for ordinary. I don't mean an ordinary person ... my ex was a great person as have been many of the women I have met but didn't go on to date .... I mean an ordinary relationship. I want a relationship with someone I have lots in common with and where there is plenty of affection, love, lust, sex etc. Hopefully this isn't too much to ask but I don't want another ho hum relationship. There are so many nice people out there, even just on the blogs, so hopefully we can all find someone we can form a close, happy and fullfilling relationship with.

That is why I think we need to drop some of the political correctness and stick it out for the type of person we really want to meet. If we have thought about it properly then we should know what we want in a partner an shouldn't compromise too much. Now, having said that, I do believe we should remain somewhat open-minded because sometimes we can be surprised (so long as we have things in common) by someone we may not have approached ourselves. I hope this doesn't sound too contradictory and I would welcome everyone's comments.

Have a great weekend everyone, especially those who are dating, getting together with friends, or just getting out there to meet new people.

Posted by: woodnwine at March 1, 2008 10:21 AM

There seems to be more than the average nice women in Melbourne, especially the ones on here.
I'm sure there are in Adelaide as well.

VDU I really enjoyed what you said in your profile.

A woman sent me a kiss, the other day, so I replied I was interested and waiting for her email, so she sent another kiss, so I again replied in the same way, this then happened a third tme, a real slow learner.
What part of this is hard, if you send a kiss, be prepared to send the email if given a positive response.

VDU I notice you are a Hawks supporter, well one of our sides is going to lose tonight.

If the Crows win, then it is a Grand Final in Adelaide (I think).

Posted by: virgil at March 1, 2008 10:11 AM

Oldergent, Thank you for your offer to be a pen-pal...graciously accepted...but before you use your last precious stamp on me, I'd like you to look at all he lovely ladies in your area...it may be better spent on them:))

Back to the topic...I do believe, NF, that I was slightly on topic yesterday as I usually am at the start of a blog, before bloggin off topic.

What sexist nonsense to suggest that a woman can only propose to a man on one day every four years...ludicrous!

Congratulations, Funlover2 and Amuso...if I am reading between the lines correctly...the blogs do sorely miss you...be happy:)

Willow...some motherly advice, or observation...just keep washing those jammies over and over and over and before you know it they will feel like silk...might take a few years but why hurry...you have booked into the Hotel California...and as for changing from a Willow to a Sliky Oak...contact Edward Scissorhands, but be quiet about it cos the ladies here just love Johnny.

Posted by: istj54 at March 1, 2008 9:37 AM

Willow
Surprised you are thinking of changing your name. When I came here you seemed very interested in cricket, and whilst not having much of an interest in cricket myself, I have a feeling I recall cricket bats made out of Willow.
Is that the case?

Posted by: virgil at March 1, 2008 9:10 AM

Okay, willow, tropical beach sounds okay - have to wait a couple of weeks because I'm off to Melb/Perth.
It's okay, amber, he can keep Agnetha too (see what a magnanimous bride you're getting, Willow?) I must tell you I was recently engaged to another blogger (female) for a short while until I got a bit commitment phobic... hope that doesn't put you off!

Posted by: malsie at March 1, 2008 8:35 AM

Not a single blog on topic.

Gawd you lot really know how to trash a blog.

You have poor rsvp staff tearing their hair out every time they think up a topic only to have mendacious inane dribble continue from one closed blog to the next.

Must be some perpetual theme song to your miserable lives- those who never moved off Abba songs eg. or what their Ex did to them 98.9 years ago.

Anyway I scored big time on 29 Feb. For some unknown reason my "those who have listed you as a favourite" had earlier plummeted to zero, no doubt as a result of my usual misogymy, and the depredations of my futile encounters with one rampaging specimen of womanhood, but suddenly has hit an alltime high of 5.

OMG. How long is this going to last.

PS You will note that, in terms of the blog outlines, this One Small Step For Curing Neurosis, One Big Leap For Mankind, does NOT constitute a Kiss from a femme, an email, or God Forbid, a proposal to spend Life In Hell For Eternity

Posted by: neuroticfish at March 1, 2008 7:09 AM

Hey Willow,
What is Willows' RSVP Profile Matching Service powered by Intel? Does it have a guaranteed success rate? (has it worked for you? You ARE still here with the rest of us)
Should we (RSVP ers) try it and how much does it cost?
Sorry for the barrage of questions, but some of us need all the help we can get!!
H
opefully you can get some advice about whether you can metamorphous (is that how you say it?) from a willow into a native Silky Oak without losing all your faculties. Keep us posted!!

Night Everyone!

Posted by: amberlight58 at March 1, 2008 1:00 AM

Posted by: victoriadownunder at February 29, 2008 11:58 PM and Posted by: victoriadownunder at March 1, 2008 12:12 AM

Awww shucks VDU, you are only saying that because we slept together ....

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at March 1, 2008 12:57 AM

nevertearusapart: Tried tonight to answer your question on the customer service blog.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 1, 2008 12:50 AM

Willow... you betcha baby... "always"... Night all.... "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at March 1, 2008 12:26 AM

Have fun at the meet.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 1, 2008 12:18 AM

OK.. it's past the bewitching hour so this little chickadee is gonna go get organised and packed for the next 2 days so I have a free flowing start for tomorrow. Catch you "girls" when I get there.. Ciao...."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at March 1, 2008 12:17 AM

VDU, no I am not trying to organise sex on the beach although some of jenjens orgasms would go down well.

I enjoyed her drinks better than the main course and dessert at the virtual dinner.

Actually I cannot recall any sex on the beach. I do recall cats, dogs, leopards and frogs in my waterbed and people sleeping in my flower beds but when did we hit the beach. Or did I do that with Sandy?

Peehaps you are referring to my cousin Dick at Maslins?

Posted by: willow1059 at March 1, 2008 12:14 AM

VDU.. what was wrong with you.. How could you possibly forget to ask for "that" recipe.. Damn... Smack for you tomorrow girl.. Ouch...

Posted by: amdoingit at March 1, 2008 12:13 AM

Was the Sydney blogger meet last weekend? Didn't hear any reports.

Posted by: timewarp1 at March 1, 2008 12:12 AM

They sure do Willow, becasue she's a very social girl - and a sheer delight in person. You might need to come to Melbourne one day and find out for yourself!!!

Bed time for this little black duck (in PJ's...)

Posted by: victoriadownunder at March 1, 2008 12:12 AM

gee kittens PJ's really get around.

Posted by: willow1059 at March 1, 2008 12:07 AM

G, refer to the ducted heating being advertised at our B & B... you'll be fine!!! We'll no doubt discuss the other matter tomorrow night...

Willow, are you trying to organise more Sex on the Beach??? I met Jen on Saturday but forgot to ask for the recipe!!! Silly me huh??

Posted by: victoriadownunder at March 1, 2008 12:05 AM

Gotcha...Ducted Decoratress... Now you're speakin my kind language... Love you forever.. Now I really only do need to bring a singlet.. Yippee... I'll bring you a treat too!!! No, not that???? "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at March 1, 2008 12:02 AM

Kitten and I compared PJ's up close and personal last weekend in Sydney - can't say anymore than that...

Ducted heating?????? YEE HAH!!!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at February 29, 2008 11:58 PM

amber, Agnetha sang me a few songs to cover the breaking up contingency.

She started with Knowing me, Knowing you then something about breaking up is never easy (very perceptive) then moved onto Money Money Money. She concluded the set with Dancing Queen, perhaps this is why so many men are viewing my profile lately.

Perhaps we can have the next vitual dinner on the virtual beach where all singles can be virtually married until they get cold feet. We may need ice for this on a tropical beach but we can pinch what we need from the cocktails which should be in good supply if JenJen attends.

Posted by: willow1059 at February 29, 2008 11:58 PM

VDU you're a humdinger.. Love it!!! Good luck to the pair of them... Was full on from wo to go for them so guess it was on the cards... My lips are sealed OK?? Thanks love...
Need to go see if I can find a pair of track bottoms or something. Damn.. Don't think I have any.. May just have to drink lots more so as to keep the body temp high and then roll up in a doona.. I'll be fine.... "G"
"G"

Posted by: amdoingit at February 29, 2008 11:57 PM

Hinter @ 7.24: Thank you for opening your Diamond Coast bloggermeet up to BrisVegans. Rush -hour traffic is heavy on the freeway south from Bris on weekday sunsets, and Friday is far worse.

If it was Kingscliff or Tweed Hds we'd get there as fast as you on a Thurs night, and home again that night, so no need for the cost of sleeping over somewhere.

So how about your original suggestion of a Thurs night? I live a couple of blocks north of Garden City so maybe we could car-pool from my place?

ISTJ @ 6.48pm: Touche Ms Puddytat. Foil not epee.

PS: Just back home. Nice meal with my dear old friend (71) and darling movie ('Dan in real Life' - the intelligent chick's flick, with a bit of plot-twist mystery. 4 and a half out of 5 lozenges - sick of stars. Second time seen, and you might like it too - will go off soon.) No 29/2 proposal, only coffee after.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 29, 2008 11:57 PM

Repeat after me, girls-

ducted heating
ducted heating
ducted heating......

Posted by: decoratress at February 29, 2008 11:54 PM

Hi VDU, do you have PJ's for our next virtual dinner. Kitten can supply PJ's with frogs, I can probably find elephants.

Amdoingit, thanks. The willow head is actually two tone now, blond on top, brown on the sides.

I did this so both myself and my alter ego can be satisfied as we have different tastes.

Do you know this morning I looked into the mirror when I awoke, I had a big smile on my face then said good morning. The man in the mirror who looked just like me said good morning back with a smile as broad as my own. He was such a lovely man and so polite I was wondering who he was.

Posted by: willow1059 at February 29, 2008 11:50 PM

Although come to think of it, "virtual" isn't actually getting out, is it?

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 29, 2008 11:50 PM

Willow/SilkyOak,
Well, getting married on a tropical beach would definitely be classified as "getting out more"!! But to be fair, Malsie desrves to know if you are prepared to give up Agnetha once you are married!

PS what about a virtual tropical beach?

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 29, 2008 11:47 PM

Breathe Willow, Breathe.... good lad!!

G, it'll be very chilly in them thar hills tomorrow night, but the heating will be internal thanks to oodles of booze. My flannies are not pretty but being a very practical Virgo, they will do the trick. After all, it IS a girlie slumber party, isn't it??

Posted by: victoriadownunder at February 29, 2008 11:42 PM

amdoingit "Willow, throw the flannies out love.. What on earth are you doing wearing pj's at your age anyway???..."

My mistake, I thought I needed these to avoid late night toilet breaks. When I was a liitle boy my Mum told me PJ's was an abbreviation for pee J's and I needed them so I would not wet the bed.

When I see my urologist next month I'll ask him whether I can change.

Posted by: willow1059 at February 29, 2008 11:40 PM

Willow, you've changed your profile my love... Must say I do like it... AND....prefer your hair blonde!!!! Just my opinion for what it's worth ok???... X... "G"

VDU your mention of Willow's flannies has just made me realise that it could be rather a cool night in them there hills... Damn.. Maybe I need more than just a singlet??? Best I go look for something now or I'll forget!!!! "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at February 29, 2008 11:38 PM

Email on the way G

Posted by: victoriadownunder at February 29, 2008 11:37 PM

blueeyes1955 has asked me to post this for her as RSVP will not let her sign in to the blog tonight.

Twill be four years hence that I can ask you this
Here's a chance I don't want to miss
Send me your answer sealed with a kiss
Be mine forever in wedded bliss!

Why she wants this posted instead of sending it to me for me has confused willow. Perhaps I should turn into a slimy oak instead of a silky oak.

Willow sends the sealed kiss but please open it before midnight then send your reply back. I shall await with my breath held tight, I am consulting my medical reference books to see whether I can hold it for four years. It would appear part of your name the "blue" bit may be a perfect match for my lip colour by then.

Posted by: willow1059 at February 29, 2008 11:34 PM

VDU you send me an email right now and fill me in on this leap year proposal... Now you hear!!! I can't wait till tomorrow night... Besides I'm coming late so you can tell me as I won't be there when the others get told..PLEASE!!!! XXX "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at February 29, 2008 11:33 PM

AmDoingIt will be looking deliciously swish tomorrow night while I'll be reclining in the flannel PJs that Willow is considering converting to silk... no such need on a girl's weekend - thank goodness!!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at February 29, 2008 11:32 PM

Virgil, yes I have RSViP. I like having it, your stamps last as long as the RSViP membership and you can see who is looking at you.

But in my post I was referring to the Willow RSVPi (willows RSVP profile matching service powered by Intel). Have another look at my profile, you will see.

Posted by: willow1059 at February 29, 2008 11:27 PM

Virgil, wrong night sweet pea.. Footy tonight... girls night tomorrow night!!! Yay...

Willow, throw the flannies out love.. What on earth are you doing wearing pj's at your age anyway???...

Posted by: amdoingit at February 29, 2008 11:26 PM

Good luck SilkyOak - you've got just over thirty minutes left till 2012!!!

Bean (sorry, I'm lazy) the proposal was from one retired blogger to another. I've met HIM as have AuntyKaz, Ninaschen and AmDoingIt... they will no doubt be surprised when I see them tomorrow!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at February 29, 2008 11:26 PM

Malsie, did I say anything about an engagement?

I'm thinking of the run away get married on a tropical beach type thing.

Posted by: willow1059 at February 29, 2008 11:22 PM

Mals, your emails are bouncing back baby!!! AND.. as for the potentially pickled princess.. Well... say no more...

Was given a bottle of Austins Barrabool Sauvignon Blanc by a client the other day and thought I'd try it..Not normally a white drinker but must admit am rather enjoying it. Actually, it's very nice ok!!! And yes, refer to emails, so will leave the posts soon before I say something untoward to somepoor unsuspecting soul..

I will arrive in all my splendour tomorrow eve. In fact sequins I think. Two outfits and undecided but both rather swish.. Just you wait girls...mmm..mmm...Guys, eat your hearts out... Haaa.. X "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at February 29, 2008 11:22 PM

amber your advice to me last night after my story in the Dating after a break up blog was "Willow/Silky Oak,
I am so disappointed!! You really need to spend less time...... "Overwhelmed by this unimaginable force I submitted myself meekly to the passion, as lust became dominant in my thoughts seeking expression in a way unknown to me since my early adulthoodand" ("...unknown to me since my early adulthood"?! Yeah, right!!)......and get out more!!"

I trust my post asking whether there are any marriage partners here tonight is a good start!

PS I am considering your suggestion to change my name to Silky Oak. I am researching options with a view to achieving this. At present I am examining whether I need to change my flannelette winter PJ's to silk and whether this can accomplished using a tumble dryer. Also given my age is approaching that the younger people call a fossil I need to establish wherther willow wood can be transformed in to oak wood.

Since WnW is not online tonight are there any bloggers, perhaps chemical engineers who can assist with identifying the requisite transformative agents.

Posted by: willow1059 at February 29, 2008 11:18 PM

Impossiblebean, I dived right in.Got a fewrespnses so thought I was the bee's knee's. Fell flat on my face though. The 3 that metleft alot to be desired but i must say it was an experience. Then I got hit with a tirade of rejections and withdrew into my shell for a bit. After a while came to realise that I shouldn't take the rejections personally and as someone said earlier, we are all different and we do reject some of those whokiss us too so it's just the way the cookie crumbles. You know que sera sera, etc. Just go for it.. It really is an experience believe me. Some good some not so good but it allpans out and hey who knows.. One day???? Good luck to you..."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at February 29, 2008 11:15 PM

a party ?

A virtual party?

A real party even better.

Wedding cake, thick marzipan icing, like a frog cake only thicker and white

Posted by: virgil at February 29, 2008 11:13 PM

It looks like girls night, cant be the footy, only Essendon & St Kilda.

You got RSVip willow? whats it like?

I saw some teemagers on TV tonight, born in 1932.

Posted by: virgil at February 29, 2008 11:11 PM

impossiblebean, slight apprehension, as I recall - not exactly "stress". Whatever the outcome was (I truly can't remember now), it didn't stop me from going on and sending more....

Yes, willow, I happily accept. I can't sing that well, alas, but I'll make an honest man of you nevertheless - luckily we have a few years' engagement first. I wouldn't want to rush into anything without any thought, heaven forbid.

Posted by: malsie at February 29, 2008 11:07 PM

thanks victoriadownunder! was it someone you knew?

Posted by: impossiblebean at February 29, 2008 11:02 PM

Are there any gorgeous ladies who would like to marry willow on Feb 29?

I suspect the potential applicant will most likely be very thrifty, a person who would appreciate only having to take me out for our anniversary dinner once every four years. Also, I do not mind if, on occasion you forget to buy me flowers or chocolates for the occasion. To be honest I will probably forget you did so by the time the next anniversary comes around.

For any takers I will suspend the normal RSVPi matching process in my profile for a truncated version.

Posted by: willow1059 at February 29, 2008 10:59 PM

Yay!!! I've got the chance to post on topic right off the cuff... there was a marriage proposal today taking advantage of Leap Day/Sadie Hawkins Day... and he said yes!!!

No, it wasn't me...

Welcome ImpossibleBean :-)

Posted by: victoriadownunder at February 29, 2008 10:57 PM

Is anyone else having trouble blogging.They keep holding my blogs-tame as they are-until checked. By then ,95 comments later, they are not relevant.

Posted by: blueeyes1955 at February 29, 2008 10:55 PM

was it followed by a few stressful days as you waited to hear back?

Posted by: impossiblebean at February 29, 2008 10:55 PM

impossiblebean, I think I dived right in, as soon as I saw someone that interested me.

Posted by: malsie at February 29, 2008 10:53 PM

Hi all, as a newbie I'm interested to know how long it took you to send a kiss - did you wait to see who would contact you or did you dive right in?

Posted by: impossiblebean at February 29, 2008 10:43 PM

okay, potentially pickled princess, will look forward to seeing your post wedding attire....

Posted by: malsie at February 29, 2008 10:38 PM

You're right Kaz,
I know we (all of us girls) were a model of decorum!

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 29, 2008 10:37 PM

Amberlight, not ALL of us surely ;-))).........K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 29, 2008 10:33 PM

Yes I empathise Kaz, that and cleaning the shower!

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 29, 2008 10:32 PM

Amberlight, not ALL of us surely :-)..........K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 29, 2008 10:32 PM

Girls, girls, girls......you need a shopping lesson obviously......
I buy clothes that generally require minimun effort in the care department......
Ironing is my biggest houseworkly dislike.
A man who either likes to iron, or is capable at it, will surely get the attention of most ladies....... Just joking guys....the depths of my dislike of this chore know no bounds.......

...............K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 29, 2008 10:29 PM

Nina, I just read your post about ironing pj's.. Just made me realise that I don't have any!!!! Best I bring throw in a singlet or something.Lucky you reminded me!!!! "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at February 29, 2008 10:17 PM

Hey "T" my damn iron blew up on me this morning.. Need to get a newie..Makes one stop and think about the fabric before next purchasing clothes. God I hate ironing..."G"

Posted by: amdoingit at February 29, 2008 10:13 PM

Hi all..Thought I'd pop in for a quickie (look that is)..
Ok.. K... did you do a blunder or something(just reading a few posts ago)?? Hmm.

Hey Mals, no party frocks love, my turn to be the princess. I'll be coming from a wedding remember so will have the "frock", heels, etc, for a change.. My turn..Ok???
Could well end up being a pickled princess the way I'm feeling...

Mangoes are soaking K !!!!

Ciao... "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at February 29, 2008 10:11 PM

...but don't own an iron...

Posted by: decoratress at February 29, 2008 10:08 PM

...I have the venue, the music & the alcahol...

heh

Posted by: decoratress at February 29, 2008 10:07 PM

Yes, "party frocks" and "foe shoes" - sounds good to me :)

Good luck, amberlight, with new project. Let us know how you go! Happy weekend all.

Posted by: malsie at February 29, 2008 10:04 PM

We know, we know, AuntyKaz. You and your shoes! I'll give the frock a miss. Pressing the PJs instead.

Posted by: ninaschen at February 29, 2008 10:02 PM

Ninaschen, l am pressing my party jeans.....Nah l'm not l don't press anything if l can avoid that particular task......
Much rather go shopping.....foe shoes....
I do like a nice shoe.............K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 29, 2008 9:51 PM

Hi Kaz,
Yes, the blog seems to have been closed - quickly. Maybe Karina was so shocked and horrified she thought it was easier and less complicated to shut down the blog than to ban ALL of us!!

Thanks Malsie and WNW, I feel slightly less anxious now, I might even give it a try in the next day or two.

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 29, 2008 9:51 PM

Absolutely, AuntyKaz, Malsie will enjoy the company of good friends tomorrow! I am pressing my party frock as I write.

Posted by: ninaschen at February 29, 2008 9:44 PM

So did the last topic get closed down??

I thought my blooging rights had been revoked after last night..... whew !!

So did any of the ladies initiate any special February 29 contact today???
As distinct, of course, from ordinary contact that is.......

Malsie, l am sure that you will enjoy the company of friends in the not too distant future....as in tomorrow !!!!! ...........K

I

Posted by: auntykaz at February 29, 2008 9:20 PM

amberlight - don't worry, men find it very flattering to receive kisses too. We tend to like it when they know a woman is interested in us.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 29, 2008 8:41 PM

amberlight, thanks for your kind words. Going through a bit of emotional stuff right now, but it will pass, of course. I will soon be seeing some people I value dearly, friends and relatives, and that will help, I am sure.
I really hope you can overcome your fears and send a kiss or two (I would say "or 20" but perhaps start with one or two until you get your confidence!) It's empowering.

I rarely have sent them to men who I really don't match with what they're after (would seem kind of pointless!) but occasionally have had a go anyway and been delighted with the unexpected results.

I wouldn't worry about being "too forward" (yeah, I know, easy for me to say, if that's a view you've been raised with). I haven't yet encountered a man who seemed to think that way. The rejection thing I do understand. But then you can just read some blog archives and hear some of the rejection stories there are, and that's bound to make you feel better - truly :)

Posted by: malsie at February 29, 2008 8:27 PM

Thanks so much girls n guys, ur very sweet :)

abckenny, I seem to have the same problem, the kisses I receive are rarely from someone I would be interested in and the ones I send are viewed in the same way. It's a bit of a dilemma

Posted by: nevertearusapart at February 29, 2008 8:23 PM

J l I'm not sure why you think I would disapprove of your answer.
No doubt you receive more than enough kisses that you don't feel the need to send any
.Seems to me that the problem is that the kisses we receive are rarely from someone we would be interested in and the ones we send are usually viewed in the same way

Posted by: abckenny at February 29, 2008 8:18 PM

Well Malsie,
You are beautifully "on topic"!! Maybe I should try to overcome my own fear of rejection (and the fear of being considered "too forward", a sin in my parents' eyes) and send a kiss or two. I'm not sure if I'm quite ready yet, but I will keep your level-headed and wise perspective in mind, once I actually get the courage to "have a go".
I noticed in the last blog you were feeling pretty "down", hope you feel better soon

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 29, 2008 8:02 PM

Been trying and failing yesterday and today to post this. Now that blog has closed (that was quick!) Maybe this time I'll get lucky ...

Timewarp, many thanks for your warm welcome yesterday at 3.39pm. If you're ever down this way I'd be delighted to knock you back, but only after I've had the pleasure of a good few hours' bilateral tabletalk.

Woodnwine, thanks for yours yesterday at 4.20pm. To answer your question, and you're not the first to ask it, "melted architecture" is a reversal of a much-quoted statement by US architect Frank Lloyd-Wright: "Architecture is frozen music". Obscure-ish I know, but I saw recently some bloke wrote "liquid architecture" in his music section - though he wasn't my type it was nice to see I'm not the only weirdo.

Posted by: survivalofthehippest at February 29, 2008 8:00 PM

Yea Timewarp. Nothing like a Byron Bay Bangalow meet.

I could bring the rest of the free loving commune from Nimbin down if they laid off the grass for a while.

WE could strum guitars (badly of course) sing Woodstock love songs from the 60’s, dance nekked and hug trees.

Hey Man. When did you suddenly get so HIP.

Posted by: neuroticfish at February 29, 2008 7:59 PM

istj, I have just one left would you like to talk to me without innuendoes for a month?
OG.

Posted by: oldergent at February 29, 2008 7:55 PM

NTUA - Your photos are definitely visible! I agree with Malsie, great profile. Gorgeous dogs!

Posted by: ninaschen at February 29, 2008 7:52 PM

HLL, let me know the place and time and I will start walking now.

Kainee, you hit so many trigers in yours of the @ 7.08.
Cheers OG

Posted by: oldergent at February 29, 2008 7:50 PM

ABCKenny...I have in the past sent out kisses to people who looked like a match but with so little success(read none) that I gave it up as a waste of precious blogging time...I also wasted a lot of money buying stamps and so do not have any now...That said, if I did send a kiss I would be happy to buy some...but as I said I don't even look at men's profiles...we all use this site in different ways and maybe in a few months I will feel like searching again but for now...I am just here:)) and respond always to the kisses sent to me. I know you will not like this reply but it is an honest one.

Posted by: istj54 at February 29, 2008 7:49 PM

nevertearusapart, I also looked at your profile earlier (commented in the other topic) and second what HLL had to say! So it's a mystery why people are asking to see your photos.

I too have no problem sending kisses. Initially the rejection thing took a bit of getting used to, but I soon got over it and realised just as I'm not interested in everyone who contacts me, it's inevitable it's going to work both ways!

Posted by: malsie at February 29, 2008 7:35 PM

Oh thank you so much hinterlandlover.
It baffles me!?!?! hmmmm

Posted by: nevertearusapart at February 29, 2008 7:31 PM

nevertearusapart: your photos are visible, and beautiful. Some people just don't get it ...

Posted by: hinterlandlover at February 29, 2008 7:26 PM

TW: I have emailed ABC so he has my details now. I am 20mins west of Bangalow, but happy to go north to say Kingscliff, or Tweed Heads if that will catch more bloggers/lurkers. Mullumbimby would also suit. Friday would be OK for me. Don't know about ABC. I can't do weekends as I work. The more the merrier I say ...

Posted by: hinterlandlover at February 29, 2008 7:24 PM

J L does this mean that you never send kisses?
Does this mean that today, and this year, that women who might usually wait for a Kiss or Email, experiment with being the first to send a Kiss to the RSVP members that most appeal?
Nooooooo...

Posted by: abckenny at February 29, 2008 7:16 PM

Hi again,
Was just about to blog when the topic changed, I was just catching up with the blogs of the last few days, and it looked like there had been some interesting and heated debates. Hi to all the newbies and sorry to see some bloggers leaving.
Re the age factor, I think that it becomes more difficult for single women as they get older, (my age) because of the disparity between the number of men and women (less men than women)
When one is younger there are a whole set of different problems to contend with, eg , Time, work, kids, contraception, finances etc , These problems change as one gets older, when health, inheritance (kids worried they will miss out if mum/dad gets involved) location. This is why perhaps it is better to stick closer to ones own age group.
Also I find that as one gets older there is a feeling of urgency, to get on with things, that one hasn’t got the time anymore to dilly dally about That feeling becomes more insistent as time goes by
Re players: I seems to me that when a relationship which has consisted of 2 years or more , breaks up , it is most distressing to everyone involved, whatever the reason , for it becomes a convoluted process to separate.
The ending of a dalliance (2+ months of togetherness) is pain but a realisation of perhaps things could not work out for either party in the long run.
But if one gets caught out by a player. (a sexual addict, who constantly seeks and scores with different partners ) one feels sullied, cheated, raped, disillusioned and very very foolish, whatever ones gender .
Amberlight@3.pm “ I live in the country…..There are a couple of single women I am friendly with, but I don't really have much in common with them as far as interests go.” ……..Here here!!!

Posted by: kianee at February 29, 2008 7:08 PM

I'm a bit baffled! I'm getting kisses asking to see my photo(s) or for my photo password, and as far as I know my photos are visible.

Would one of you kind souls mind clicking on my profile and letting me know if the photos are visible? Thanks heaps!!

On the subject of women sending kisses. Well I'm one of those women who does, am I in the minority??

Posted by: nevertearusapart at February 29, 2008 7:07 PM

Hinterlandlover: Where did that other blog go?

I wanted to buy into ? a Bangalow Bloggermeet. I'd love to come, if I was invited.

I've got a mate whose mum lives at Mullumbimby, and I stay there several nights during the Byron Writers Festival each year. I guess I could go to a Thurs evening meet, overnight at Mullum, and drive home next morning. Or overnight at a backpackers in Byron.

Are you very far south of Byron? If not, would there be closer for more of us than Bangalow?

If more wanted to come, I could fit 3 in my old Laser wagon (plus me) if we all stayed at a backpackers, but not much sleep if we left Bris at 5.30 to be there for 8pm, and left there at 5am to be back for work.

Would Fri nite suit you and Kenny?

Must get ready for my 130th date with Anita. (give or take a dozen or so)

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 29, 2008 6:53 PM

Let me look into my crystal ball for you NF...Six years can be quite a difference...she may not be as fit as you would like...do you have lots of money for hotels, meals and trinkets?
If not, forget it and stick with someone in their twenties who might enjoy a camping tour...maybe to Kakadu.

Posted by: istj54 at February 29, 2008 6:48 PM

Istj

I am 48 and am trying to get a certain 54 year old to go overseas with me.

Maybe I just like older women.

Posted by: neuroticfish at February 29, 2008 6:38 PM

Hi Virgil,
You sound a bit "down" tonight.
I know what you are saying, most people meet their life-partner through mutual friends and interests; not on a dating site! Who knows one day these kinds of sites may be the "norm" but at the moment it all feels a little foreign.

The age thing; no one is saying that people shouldn't have a preference for an age group, I guess it may be that as "older" women we are a little more sensitive to the "trophy wife" syndrome. At a pinch we might be seen as a "catch" for an 80 yo (!!)but for many men around our age we are considered a little past our use-by date.

I guess it's okay for you guys; yes there are a few women who fancy a "Toy Boy" but there are a LOT of men who want someone much younger. How many men are you aware of that have been left by wives/partners who have found a younger man? In comparison, how many women are left for a younger, prettier woman?
If we seem slightly sensitive; then perhaps try to see things from our perspective.
We are not attacking anyone; just commenting on the injustice of it all

Posted by: amberlight58 at February 29, 2008 6:32 PM

If you sit around waiting for a kiss or email, it could be a very long wait. Not sure why today, or this year, would be any different. One has to take the initiative for their own relationships, if we wait for a leap year - it's going to be a long time between drinks!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at February 29, 2008 6:16 PM

I think you are right ISTJ, I enjoy the bloggs, I seem to enjoy most things, but to actually follow up on coffee meetings I have recently had, seems to be hard.

Not sure what it is, I recently hid my profile for a week or so, maybe there is stuff going on that I cant put a finger on at the moment.

Maybe I will have one of those breakthru experiences.

Sometimes when there seems no clear way forward, then forward is not the way to go.

I feel stuck, but that doesnt feel bad at all, just not moving forwards

Posted by: virgil at February 29, 2008 6:15 PM

Virgil...we all have age preferences, even those who like to attack...they just don't say. We can't become attracted to people just because others say we must. It doesn't work that way. We all know what we like and should not settle...even though some gents here think we women of a certain age should just grab whatever is going...like either party would be happy with that scenario.
You sound like you really need to take a bit of time-out before getting into the dating thing again...a sabbatical from dating or even thinking about it.

Posted by: istj54 at February 29, 2008 6:02 PM

Just off to dinner at her place then I shout us a movie - it's someone whose newspaper Personal I answered 12 or 13 years ago - never any romance but we've stayed very good friends.

Don't think she'll change her mind tonight after that long and pop the question, but the future is hard to predict....

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 29, 2008 5:53 PM

ISTJ
I think you mentioned something about a dream date of mine, in a post earlier today.

I think it may have been the post from Willow, about his dream date called Agnetha?

Since the break up of my marriage in 96, most of my girlfriends have been in the age group of about 10 years younger than me, and my most successful relationship lasting more than 4 years was almost double that difference.

I have a target age range in my profile as being from 10 years younger to 4 years older. I feel it is safest to concentrate on women about 2 years either side of my actual age.

I dont select younger women out of vanity, and havebt done that since my 20's. I just seem to get along with younger women better than I can with women my own age.

I am finding this hard at the moment. but I'm not really sure what part I find hard.

I think its the coffee thing, because most of my relationships have just happened as part of my living. I havent really had that much relationship success from meeting women for coffees. (I'm glad viper is not here at the moment, and probably wouldnt have said this if he was around).

I wonder if it has sopmething to do with time between break up of a previous relationship and start of a new one, probably not as that relationship finished in July when I moved to Adelaide.

I really like being here, but feel if I went back to WA, ahh dont go there.

Posted by: virgil at February 29, 2008 5:51 PM

What can we say to this one? Is it just a blog topic for an evening?
Is there a question to answer?
Hang on, I just saw it:
Does this mean that today, and this year, that women who might usually wait for a Kiss or Email, experiment with being the first to send a Kiss to the RSVP members that most appeal?
Nooooooo...

Posted by: istj54 at February 29, 2008 5:50 PM

hhmmmmmm

Posted by: auntykaz at February 29, 2008 5:44 PM