RSVP Blog

Yes I know what you mean I have just spent 2 hours scrolling through quick search. Yours was there after over a 100 profiles.

I think I spend too much time on here and not getting as much exercise as I should be getting in so I think today will be my last day on the blogs for a while.

Oh well have made some good friends whilst I have been here.

I will let fate do it's bit for awhile.

I will probably look in after 1st semester this year.

Posted by: mstingle at January 31, 2008 9:39 AM

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 31, 2008 1:44 AM

"RSVP has quoted the following statistics of expected compatibility: Expect you'll have to work your way through at least 35 first dates before you meet someone who would do for a romantic partner if you were in a hurry, and 70 + dates to find someone really suitable."

Wow, were did you get these figures from? They frankly scare me ..... 70+ dates (presume you mean meetings)! That's an awful lot of meetings! Maybe by the time I am ready to retire, I might meet someone really suitable.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 31, 2008 8:24 AM

MONEY AND SEX -what's the go on the first date?

People tell me the first date is usually a quick coffee, but that doesn't work for me at all. I want to meet over a real meal.

I suspect the reason most people go for a quick coffee on a first date is because they are hunting, and using the first date only to decide whether the other person seems worth pursuing sexually.

If so, it'll be dinner and flowers and whatever else it takes, starting from date 2. And if not, we only wasted half an hour and the cost of a cup of coffee on going up a dry gully, eh?

My own approach is diametrically opposed to that. I eat out at least 3 nights a week, anyway. Used to cook 3 or 4 nights a week for up to five for 20-odd years, and now I'm divorced, I've cut right back.

But I'm a social animal - I prefer to eat in company rather than alone, because I enjoy conversing at length over a meal. So anyone interesting to listen to, will do for my dinner partner.

If I don't have an RSVP first date for a night when I want to eat out, I try to invite a friend, and/or someone from RSVP that I've met already and don't fancy - but do significantly like, and therefore would like to meet again - and again, till one of us starts to find the other somewhat less interesting than at first.

So who should pay for these dinners, served with dialogue on the side?

I have 4 reasons for suggesting that the appropriate answer is to go Dutch:

1) Thinking of tonight only in isolation, I assume the other person will enjoy our time together at least as much as I will, or she's the wrong choice for my dinner partner. So why should I pay for her fun as well as my own?

2) Looking ahead: RSVP has quoted the following statistics of expected compatibility: Expect you'll have to work your way through at least 35 first dates before you meet someone who would do for a romantic partner if you were in a hurry, and 70 + dates to find someone really suitable.

So the chance that tonight's date is The One is pretty slim. Assume she's not, and that the future is therefore irrelevant, so there's still no reason to go anything but Dutch.

And if She is the One, then He is also The One. So why isn't she investing equally in this lottery?

3) Looking way back: The man supplied the mating club and then the money, and the woman supplied his comfort. From time unrecorded.

That was when women got nowhere near a man's pay, and the "headache tonight" had not yet been invented.

And don't talk glass ceilings to me, in the 21st century - that applies only to perhaps the top 10% of female workers, and the top 10% of Brisbane women over 55 and in RSVP look pretty rich to me. Triple my income and more, the many I've met.

The relevance of No. 3 to me personally? If an elderly woman on the age pension sends me an RSVP kiss, chivalry owes her a first date - as a market-research reality-check for her, if nothing else.

And I pay for our dinners, automatically. As the man always did when she and I were 20, even if she'd started things off by dropping her hankie in front of him as he walked past.

But I'm looking forward into the 21st century, not back to the middle of the 20th.

Once you get yourself up to date and assume similar incomes, and the obsolescence of previous sex-role-stereotypes including female co-dependence, the tab has to be paid in guilders. How many to the Euro?

4) "A man would be proving he's stingey, if he didn't automatically pay the whole bill". That one hits a feller right in the ego. Come in spinner.

But in the 21st century, if she didn't offer to share the cost, a woman with a decent income would be proving she's either a gold-digger, or locked back in the co-dependent past: Money for sex, to save him from Mrs Palmer. Sex for money, to save her from starvation.

At date No.1, I'm only looking for dialogue with my dinner, for Eros' sake!

I won't begin focussing on whether I want date No.2 with her for at least the first 2 or 3 hours.

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 31, 2008 1:44 AM

Kateegirl,

Absolutely spot on, all too calculated....where has the spontaneity gone? Is everyone in so much of a hurry and desperate that they feel they have to rush into the sack to make a connection...give me boy meets girl, boy woos girl anyday...afaid that I am too old fashioned for the modern world where relationships are concerned.

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at January 31, 2008 12:39 AM

Thanks Bob, the topics as set above sound like a job interview or checklist. It all sounds too cold and calculated for me. Give me old fashioned getting to know someone over a glass of wine or a coffee and see if there's a spark or two.

Posted by: kateegirl at January 31, 2008 12:32 AM

Hi Kateegirl,

As usual, your posts are short, sweet and straight to the point; wish I was able to be put my views forward in as few words. You cant plan these things, they shoud just happen because of the connection both people feel.

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at January 31, 2008 12:03 AM

FP I see you corrected yourself..that's good.

Posted by: lamuse at January 30, 2008 11:18 PM

I am interested to know what background your experience is in. You mentioned completing your doctorate-could I ask you again what field this was in?
Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 30, 2008 10:39 PM

I prefer to not reveal those sorts of details about myself. Rest assured I know whereof I speak.

Sorry, psychoanalysis is not regarded worldwide as a science which you just said. Psychology thinks it is a science, but even that is debatable, and if as I suggested you read some Critical Psychology you would understand why. So it would serve you well to start reading. I suggest Shotter, Gergen, Harré, Ian Parker,for starters. Better still, start with reading a bit on the history of psychological discourse by Kurt Danziger. A bit of googling and reading at your library should keep you busy for days and maybe, just maybe you will start learning something. There are courses given in Critical Psychology at some universities...U Western Sydney has some. No idea what is on offer in Melbourne, but surely...

Posted by: lamuse at January 30, 2008 11:16 PM

last post should read " You may question Psychology's claim that it is a science,but..." Its late and I am tired.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 30, 2008 10:46 PM

Lamuse: I didnt say that psychoanalysis was a science, but that psychology is. There are various psychodynamic approaches, the most famous was psychoanaysis which was proposed by Freud.

Psychoanalysis is a psychodynamic theoryYou may question its claim as a science, but it is regarded as such in our university education system and worldwide.

Psychology uses the scientific method of acquiring knowledge that uses observations to develop a hypothesis, then uses the hypothesis to make logical predictions that can be empirically tested by making additional, systematic observations. Typically, the new observations lead to a new hypothesis and the cycle continues.

I say this with some knowledge having undergraduate and postgraduate degrees in health science, as well as currently undertaking psychology studies at postgraduate level.

I am interested to know what background your experience is in. You mentioned completing your doctorate-could I ask you again what field this was in?
I value your input and hearing peoples opinion that are out of the field.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 30, 2008 10:39 PM

I think you can tell a lot about a person's character by their generosity and by that I mean even if they dont have a lot they are happy to share it with you. A person who is generous with their money is generous with their love and affection. Tight fisted people are usually mean with their feelings and joy of life. I dont think you need to bring up the topic of money, when you chat about yourselves you can usually get a feel for what sort of life they lead. Sex should be something that just happens naturally between 2 consenting adults. If it doesnt feel right say so, have protection with you just as a precaution rather than woohoo Im gonna get some tonight!!

Posted by: kateegirl at January 30, 2008 10:11 PM

WB.. 'I think that knowing yourself well is the key to finding someone compatible."

I think that is exactly the key to finding the right person on here or anywhere. And I think its more then knowing what you like and dislike.. it goes deeper than that. :-)

Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 30, 2008 10:10 PM

Sounds like the evening drinking crowd has descended. SamBrit will arrive soon no doubt.

Posted by: lamuse at January 30, 2008 10:07 PM

Posted by: woodnwine at January 30, 2008 7:02 PM

Exactly!

Posted by: mstingle at January 30, 2008 8:47 PM

Malsie @ 5.25...

The Pope/Rocket Scientist.....
it's the Gemini in me- we're very adaptable...

Posted by: decoratress at January 30, 2008 7:21 PM

rsvpunk...

In a short post you used "you all" three times, & "non of you" (sic) once.

May I respectfully point out that "you all" & "none of you" is a ridiculous generalisation.

Posted by: decoratress at January 30, 2008 7:16 PM

"For many people Sex and Money are two of the most difficult topics to discuss with a new partner with fears of rejection, loss, exploitation and relationship disaster abounding." .... not if you get on well.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 30, 2008 7:02 PM

Hi waterbombe - "So, WnW, you mentioned on the other blog that you are generally a good judge when it comes to dates, and that's what I mean. You must know what you are looking for in a partner, and that qualities you are looking for are genuinely compatible with you. What do you think?"

I think I have things pretty well worked out in my mind as to what I am looking for in a partner and work on the principal of less is more, that's why after many meetings I have only gone on to date 4 women. They were all good dates and 2 of them went further.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 30, 2008 6:59 PM

Jenni/istj54. My comments weren't directed to you at all. And thank you for the lovely compliment & I agree, we get better as we get older.

Posted by: trumanscat at January 30, 2008 6:38 PM

WB, thanks for that bit of insight into eHarmony..it is hard indeed to imagine how any algorithm or test could be devised that is going to get around the individual differences question.

Now, a few of us have come up with some things we have learned along the way...what are some of yours?

Others?

Posted by: lamuse at January 30, 2008 6:16 PM

Bob, your estimation of the field is pretty spot-on IMO...one of the earliest findings in the field of perception was that the individual doing the perceiving had an altering effect on the result. The choice of what is taught in psych departments is itself open to critique and is very politically motivated. As to Running with Scissors, I read the book..I'd say it took a lot of poetic license in the telling, but no doubt was modeled on a real life eccentric in the whacko psychiatrist.

Posted by: lamuse at January 30, 2008 6:10 PM

Posted by: notgodsgift at January 30, 2008 5:59 PM

Interesting must have a look! I have heard of the title before but when told about it previously I forgot to write it down, thanks for jogging my memory.

Posted by: mstingle at January 30, 2008 6:09 PM

Iamuse, I am posting this here because the other blog isn't accepting my post.
I found your NYT article interesting. I used eHarmony when I lived in America a few years ago, but I didn't find it to be any more accurate than using rsvp to make my own choices here. They certainly ask you to fill out a lot of information - 8 to 10 pages of closely typed text as I recall - and that probably deters the players and fly-by-nighters because it takes a whole evening to set up a profile. So that would be one advantage. But actually I have had more success with rsvp since I have been back in Australia. I think the reason for that is that a questionnaire can't possibly ask the million questions that would be needed to cover every essential point with every person who uses it. Rsvp has had over a million users...there's a lot of variability among a milliion users...and of course there are even more people on the dating sites in the big cities in the US. The things that really bother me in a guy might not matter at all to the next woman...you know how it goes. And the questionnaire is not likely to ask all the important questions for me, her, and the other million people who use it.

I reckon I, and the people who are successful on this site, have an algorithm or a sorting process in our heads that is pretty sophisticated, drawn from years of experience of listening carefully and reading between the lines. If you have a finely-tuned sorter like that, you quickly identify likely suspects. Of course occasionally you make a bad call, but a computer program makes a lot more. So that brings me to the question of what the sorting system consists of...what are we looking for...and what do we want to avoid? Those are the two million dollar questions. The more detailed and specific and accurate we can be with our answers, the more quickly we will find someone. I think that knowing yourself well is the key to finding someone compatible.

So, WnW, you mentioned on the other blog that you are generally a good judge when it comes to dates, and that's what I mean. You must know what you are looking for in a partner, and that qualities you are looking for are genuinely compatible with you. What do you think?

Posted by: waterbombe at January 30, 2008 6:06 PM

Hi All,

Interesting subject is psychology and, without ever prentending to have any nous about the subject, I have always felt that it is subjective, not objective. I say this because it is based upon individual perceptions that can be coloured by personal beliefs, experiences and prejudices, in addition to those that are learned from the sources the budding psychologist may have studied.

There is a DVD out called "Running with Scissors"; really worth a look because it is a true story based upon the life of the author of the book; and is significant on his upbringing as a child and adolescent.

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at January 30, 2008 5:59 PM

Lamuse...have to say I really enjoyed
reading your post about "Algorithms" The first piece of really interesting information I have read in a long time on here!

Posted by: brilliantblue at January 30, 2008 5:36 PM

Nice examples, LaMuse and WnW. I have learnt (only just very recently) that loving someone - however much you try to make it be so - does not necesarily mean you will be ultimately compatible.

Posted by: malsie at January 30, 2008 5:28 PM

Rocket scientist, decoratress? No, you're the pope, remember? tee hee :)

Posted by: malsie at January 30, 2008 5:25 PM

SlightS, you may choose from a poem 28 Jan 1:42PM, joke 28 Jan 4:32PM or another joke 29 Jan 10:17PM.

"sorry for so many posts. computer played up and do not get home from work till late at night. Where is my joke Willow : ))"

Posted by: willow1059 at January 30, 2008 5:25 PM

au contraire, LaMuse - I really enjoyed that post about psychology. It's other "stuff" that makes my eyes glaze over (and also enjoyed the article you re-produced here earlier to consider - thanks).

Posted by: malsie at January 30, 2008 5:19 PM

FP, psychoanalysis is not science. It is a way of talking about things, as are the constructs of id, ego etc. They are not measurable entities. Psychology calls itself a science, which is a bit questionable for all but a small part of it, and its domain is quite wide, from perception to behavior. It is mainly empirical in terms of what is known, and it relies a lot on deduction, and more recently it has been upstaged by mathematical modeling, and neurology.
I hope you have been exposed to some critical psychology and to some more postmodern critique in particular.
Read some Ken Gergen for example.

Now all this is going to make all the bloggers' eyes glaze over so I will stop there.

And I want to know what happened with DB2! Much more interesting!

Posted by: lamuse at January 30, 2008 5:07 PM

Lamuse:forgot to say.. I don't think this site is using an algorithm if the cupid matches are anything to go by-LOL

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 30, 2008 4:35 PM

lamuse: I take your point and accept that nothing in psychology can be proven, however it is a recognised science albeit with theories that are continually evolving.

When talking of the subconscious mind, I am referring to Freuds model of psychoanalysis that includes the id, the ego and the superego. You are right in saying it is hypothetical, but I could also argue that 'dreams' are too.

The only thing that can be measured and replicated is memory & behaviour. The mind is still a mystery.The papers were academic research papers.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 30, 2008 4:21 PM

FP, you said "I have also being reading some interesting papers with my studies that suggest when a woman feels an intense attraction to a man, she is projecting the desirable traits she felt abouy her mother but have split off from her personality. How the subconscious works is amazing."

I'd advise caution regarding taking such theories seriously..there is no way to prove nor disprove them. Even the notion of a subconscious is a hypothetical construct. But it all is good for fun discussions.

Glad someone read the article!

Posted by: lamuse at January 30, 2008 3:02 PM

lamuse: I read your article and found it really interesting, thanks for sharing it with us.

I have also being reading some interesting papers with my studies that suggest when a woman feels an intense attraction to a man, she is projecting the desirable traits she felt abouy her mother but have split off from her personality. How the subconscious works is amazing.

I certainly appreciated Ninaschen spending one of her stamps to notify me of the last lunch. In appreciation I surprised her with a box of chocolates on the day.

Ninaschen has been very generous sending out many emails, so perhaps it would be a lovely gesture at the next lunch if she was "shouted' her meal.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 30, 2008 2:47 PM

I think some folks post here at night after having way too much grog..the posts sound a bit meandering and are disinhibited in an often mean way. Now, this is just some...others may also have had too much happy juice but remain happy.

Am a bit surprised no-one has commented on the NYT article I posted..I thought it was interesting that dating sites over there are using tests and algorithms to match people and claiming great success.

Posted by: lamuse at January 30, 2008 1:41 PM

I've learned that RSVP is full of.....
.....the same people who are out there in the RealWorld!

hahahaha... I'm a Rocket Scientist!

But sadly, as elsewhere, The Good are offset by The Bad & The Ugly.. as is demonstrated on these blogs daily.

That's life, & whingeing about it won't change it, or remove the feral component from this site.

Those who are positive & helpful are a joy.
Those who hurl vitriol- well- they mostly just damage themselves.

I'd hazard a guess that the former are happier....
....and isn't Happiness what we are all seeking?

Only the right things make us Happy.
Love for our fellow human beings falls beautifully into that category.....

love&peace
decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at January 30, 2008 1:18 PM

Thanks lamuse ... I agree, these blogs should be more positive and helpful (as well as fun) otherwise why bother? Let's try to share what we have learnt about failed relationships, ways WE could possibly do things better.

What have I learnt? I have learnt that just because someone a long time ago treated me with indifference despite telling me she loved me, that doesn't mean that other women will be the same ... it was just her manner and shouldn't make me insecure in future relationships. I have also learnt not to be so demanding if I meet someone I really click with ... to give them more space in the early stages. Hopefully I have learnt these things.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 30, 2008 12:52 PM

WnW, I think it would be very helpful to share what one learns about oneself from such experiences here, rather than, as you said, attacking others or whinging about the person in question.

I, for example, have had to learn that I quickly develop expectations if there has been a good sexual encounter and have to watch this trait.

Posted by: lamuse at January 30, 2008 12:17 PM

There seems to be a lot of unnecessary bitterness on these blogs from time to time....why? We all have disappointments to deal with but we shouldn't take that out on others. I had a fabulous new relationship end suddenly last year but I didn't get on the blogs and attack others ... nor did I belittle or complain publically about that person. As hard as it was, I looked at myself and tried to determine what I could have done better. Sure, I was upset but I dealt with that privately and am trying to improve myself.

Could I try to urge everyone to realise that they too have faults .... it isn't always the other person. Try to learn from your experiences and move on ... there are heaps of nice people on RSVP ... just make an effort and meet some of them and stop publically whinging.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 30, 2008 12:03 PM

Posted by: woodnwine at January 29, 2008 12:18 PM

You look fine physically to me. However it is good to keep fit.

Posted by: mstingle at January 30, 2008 10:49 AM

Posted by: istj54 at January 30, 2008 7:44 AM

Don't take anything that Samathabrit says to heart, obviously they have problems.

Have a good break, we all take them from time to time and come back refreshed.

Posted by: mstingle at January 30, 2008 10:45 AM

Swimming Slightsync? ... well, I do try to keep my head above water but don't always succeed. I'll just keep lifting those boring old weights.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 30, 2008 9:40 AM

sorry for so many posts. computer played up and do not get home from work till late at night. Where is my joke Willow : ))

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 30, 2008 9:38 AM

Posted by: istj54 at January 29, 2008 7:04 PM

istj54: you are definately not a bully and a nasty and your blogging has been positive and intelligent. Also humorous. Ignore what sambrit says to you, he must have a crush. Enjoy your blog rest if you must go and hope you come back. Have been also thinking of going too, but it is addictive. Am hoping NF will post more recipes and hints. All the best istj54 : ))

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 30, 2008 9:37 AM

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 29, 2008 12:44 PM

You would think that it is not that hard for a guy to make a phone call. Don't men and women misunderstand each other often? Nothing worse than hanging round waiting for a phone call or other contact. People get caught up in their own stuff I guess. Don't take it personally if possible. I have encountered some rudeness on RSVP. Hope it does not tarnish your view of life and that you can put him down as being a frog on the way to your prince. Or maybe he will redeem himself? Not having expectations can help. Do guys even believe it when it is said to them that you are not thinking about the future, that you are just thinking of the day you are in? (From my own experience)

It is sure not easy db2, I like your name and sometimes I can not spell mine : )))

General comment: WnW's point about Karma = being calmer is good. Surely there is enough negativity in the world around us. Having a go at each other maybe normal but there is way too much judgement on here from some. Why? No-one is perfect and an attitude of acceptance and civility is not that hard?? Is it? Maybe the sort of things that are said can not be emailed as the person could be blocked. Also for a blog, on an online dating site, the comments about appearance are ridiculous and discriminatory.

Sambrit...if your partner preferences are on your profile you do not need to go on about it on the blog? You are not on the blog to meet people so why does it matter what bloggers look like. When your Adonis like photo is posted on a visible profile send me a kiss to indicate that you have a pic up.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 30, 2008 9:32 AM

Being just the two of you alone and unclad is good.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 3:25 PM

Thanks db2...I just love the beach actually. Don't know who the two of you (me) would be, but it is sure nice to hope. You never know!!! Look me up if you come to Adelaide for sure. I kinda prefer the clad beaches personally. Adds a bit of mystique...

Trumanscat, planning to go to Womadelaide on the Sunday as working the rest of the time. Maybe Saturday night too. I will have stamps of course by then so will email.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 30, 2008 9:18 AM

I can stop lifting those dam weights 3 times a week .... it was boring anyway.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 29, 2008 12:18 PM

I thought you preferred swimming WnW??

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 30, 2008 9:05 AM

Okay...this is the last till autumn but I have to set things straight...TC at no time have I pulled the looks thing. You are very beautiful, your hair gloriouos, as are many of the ladies out to lunch "that" day...Waterbombe, I never spoke to you for fifteen minutes...Please ask Ninaschen to tell you how nervous I was that day. My hands were shaking and I showed her. Must admit that I had a very quick wine to try to calm myself. Weta, I am sure you can probably attest to this too...as mstingle has said I probably did talk about myself a bit...and this in itself is unusual...I rarely open up to people quickly...You were all very lovely and asked me questions which I answered. You put me at ease. Your group, Waterbombe, arrived quite late and I was not sitting near you.
I had never met, or emailed, FP before that lunch...so another misconception. I am very sorry that I did not get to talk to more people and have said that time after time. It was the set-up and size of the group and the short time. Think about groups too. If a large group of people know each other and a new person is put in there, the group will question the newbie for information. That does not make the newbie full of themselves as you have implied. I am not full of myself. I am an introvert but as you would know taht doesn't mean that I am not confident and assertive. Once again I apologise, but for the last time. We obviously have different perceptions and that is okay. Probably why realtionships do not work out here in the long run.
Samantabrit, I take exception to all your remarks about older women and have taken them quite personally too...I think we are a highly attractive breed these days and it is your misfortune not to recognise that "fact". we do not start rapidly losing it after forty. That is absolute nonsense...I had found the women and men on that now fateful day to be highly attractive, intelligent individuals and recall writing that in a post shortly thereafter...I'm still mulling over what has happened here and think I have a few answers...but I do find it a disturbing phenomena and this is why I am taking a break.

Melba from Melbourne

Posted by: istj54 at January 30, 2008 7:44 AM

Let this be a lesson to all of us.

Well meaning attempts at inclusiveness does not always benefit all. Some are winners but occasionally some with skewed perceptions slip by....
And of course it must be because of the most amazing attractiveness that begets detractors... that MUST be the reasoning.

Posted by: trumanscat at January 30, 2008 6:55 AM

WOW....said before I wouldnt post again. Now I know why. This isnt a blog, its a dummy spit. Or as previously stated it's turned into another "BOG".

Where is the interesting, witty and adult conversation?

Posted by: sunkissedqldr at January 30, 2008 6:50 AM

AHA...

Looking back, it seems from your post of Jan29 11.39pm, that....

..goodness me!
..you couldn't be..

....could you??

futilepercussion!! ..is that you?

Good evening! How are you tonight?

decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at January 30, 2008 3:50 AM

BRILLIANTBLUE:

Are you sure about your post at 10.33 tonight? Contextual clues suggest to me that if a split personality actually is involved, you've got a wrong-sex fox by the tail. Could I be right?

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 30, 2008 1:43 AM

GO PLEASE DOT COM

Home from a good banana-straightening session of night tennis, and noted your 8.45pm dummy-spit, repeated twice for emphasis.

I assume you are referring to my strong peer reprimand at 11.45am 27th about the copied-from-internet schoolboy-humour piece that you had posted at 11.28am.

I saw it as tasteless, which some people are, but also as ageist and misogynistic, which I am in the habit of publically decrying, as I was waffling on about to TwoEyes at 1.57am today.

So I called you for it on Sunday, and received your response tonight.

"Finis" is Latin, a language that was past its use-by date when I was your age. We speak English now, and I say to you

"To tell men from boys,
criticise them.
Men improve,
but boys only sulk."

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 30, 2008 1:28 AM

Posted by: waterbombe at January 29, 2008 11:36 PM

Thanks for the compliment it was very kind of you to say so.

Sometimes people can also appear to be confident on the outside but it may only be a mask they are wearing and may be quaking inside.

Actually one person was surprised when I said that I had felt shy underneath because they had not picked up on this because externally to them I appeared not to be she at all.

I suppose really it is hard to really know, we can only go on how it appears.

Sometimes we are right about people sometimes we can never be sure.

Posted by: mstingle at January 30, 2008 12:13 AM

Possibly the kitten was eaten by the leopard? Or will be, at some virtual time in the future?

And why do you drink in decimals, willow... ten cocktails at a time .. that is so very French, they are the inventors of the decimal system ... and you seem fond of frogs, too, I believe you had one in your virtual bed...

Posted by: waterbombe at January 30, 2008 12:07 AM

MsTingle 11:27 "T'was me Willow with the dog, can't you remember you told me to put my leopard print bag on your bed and the bag matched your sheets:)"

I am sorry, seem to be saying that a bit. You are quite correct, I think I had toooooooo many virtual drinks.

All the animals have me confused, when I went to bed I could not tell what animal I slept with. Leopards, frogs, dogs all looked the same by the time cocktail 10 went down the hatch. Not a kitten to be seen.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 30, 2008 12:00 AM

Letting you know that I just posted an interesting article from today's New York Times on the use of algorithms in US dating sites and some current research, in the other running blog ("Can you find love on RSVP?").

Posted by: lamuse at January 29, 2008 11:58 PM

I think about half the Melbourne bloggers who meet at the lunches are in relationships... wouldn't that be a better average than rsvp-ers in general?

And slim and attractive aren't enough, samanthabrit... try honest, intelligent, emotionally mature, funny, responsible, entertaining and compassionate as well and see if that makes some difference to your chances.

Posted by: waterbombe at January 29, 2008 11:47 PM

I'm here for the entertainment value of the blogs, and also because sometimes things are said on here that are really interesting ... some of the bloggers are a great read.

I hid my profile because I found someone to love, samanthabrit, so I am no longer looking. You can meet really lovely people on this site, it's a matter of serendipity.

Posted by: waterbombe at January 29, 2008 11:41 PM

Hi Mstingle - i can understand that when people are nervous they might talk a lot - or not at all - and need to be drawn out of themselves. I am glad you feel more confident as a result of going to the blogger's meeting, that's great. You should feel confident, you are funny and also very genuine and thoughtful..you sound like a lovely person.

Istj54 doesn't seem to me to be lacking in confidence... her posts are entertaining and sometimes quite 'out there', and in person she doesn't strike you as shy at all. She seems quite an assertive person, actually.

Posted by: waterbombe at January 29, 2008 11:36 PM

Posted by: aliane at January 29, 2008 10:58 PM

Good post, you are a lovely lady.

Posted by: mstingle at January 29, 2008 11:32 PM

Posted by: willow1059 at January 29, 2008 10:05 PM

T'was me Willow with the dog, can't you remember you told me to put my leopard print bag on your bed and the bag matched your sheets:)

Posted by: mstingle at January 29, 2008 11:27 PM

Posted by: waterbombe at January 29, 2008 9:42 PM

Hi waterbombe. I know that everyone is different and I haven't met Istj54 (by the way Istj54) your post about having a rest was touching).

Anyway what I am trying to say is. That sometimes when people are nervous they tend to talk about self because that is all that they know and when there are a lot of people around you can forget to ask about the other person or each person you speak to because while nervous you can go on auto pilot about yourself because it is a topic you know very well and cannot make any mistakes with it. Well as far as not knowing a subject.

I know that when I went to my first blog meeting just a couple of Sunday's ago, I know that I mostly talked about self while there were 12-14 present.

Later when there were just the 4 of us I was more relaxed and felt more comfortable and that was when, I was able to ask questions about those in my company. It was good to learn about them and they were lovely people.

I really enjoyed having dinner with these three other people because I was more relaxed.

Now I wouldn't say that they were any better than anyone else there that day, in fact I was impressed at how nice and real they all were that day. It was just the nerves were there, when there were more people.

I remember telling Today122 in an email later that I felt a little silly when I looked back at how I had not asked any questions, in particular I noticed I had done this when talking to a couple of males present that were really great guy's. They had asked me questions but I failed to ask anything about them.

I have taken note of this and plan to ask more questions about others to contribute to the conversation because I do not want people to get the wrong impression.

Some of us are more experienced than others or have a natural ability at a social level, especially meeting with a large number of people, with whom they had not previously met.

I was also very grateful to have received positive feedback afterwards from a few of the blogger’s, which helps to boost the confidence.

Posted by: mstingle at January 29, 2008 11:22 PM

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 29, 2008 6:51 PM

Yes it was good wasn't it and I loved your company also.

Posted by: mstingle at January 29, 2008 10:45 PM

"My right of reply..

To the grumpy old banana bender, that attacked me
Lighten-up and take a joke for a joke

UP YOURS JACK .
Finis

Posted by: gopiesdotcom at January 29, 2008 8:45 PM"

I think someone stuffed up bit...hey "Diamondblue2" with which profile they were using at this time or should I just call u "Stormy'!

Posted by: brilliantblue at January 29, 2008 10:33 PM

LaMuse 9:26AM, "Willow If you visit here between sets, are you working out at home, or do you use wifi at the gym? (And with that question I leave myself open for Willow's usual play on words..)"

At home is the answer.

You are a tease, you know that I cannot pass by an invitation so here is my play.

Wifi (pron Why Fee), of course gyms charge a fee for attendance, they have a business to run. Hence, iron pumping mostly happens at home.

Wifi (alt pron Wife E), are you confused, this is not my ex wife's initial. I do not try to use my fellow members wives with names starting with E for anything. Do you have reason to believe I have dishonourable intentions?

LaMuse, could you make the next challenge a little easier. Wifi is a bit tough after a day at work!

Posted by: willow1059 at January 29, 2008 10:17 PM

kitten 6:51PM, I have found the missing frog. In my bed with dog teeth marks all around it.

Perhaps we should have fed db2's pooch before we ate.

Do not despair, the extra space on the PJ's will be appreciated by the remaining frogs. As always, good can come from bad.

I think I can speak for others in saying we enjoyed your company as well.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 29, 2008 10:05 PM

WnW 12:18 "And seriously women don't care about bodies as much as they do about emotional intelligence and wit. I'm not joking." .... I can stop lifting those dam weights 3 times a week .... it was boring anyway.

We wish WnW, my advice is keep lifting or turn into a marshmallow. Boring it is, I find some classics (loud)from 70, 80, 90's help ease the pain.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 29, 2008 10:00 PM

Istj54, I have to echo Ninaschen's comments here. I too talked to you for some time at the Melbourne bloggers lunch and while I know a great deal about you, you never asked me a single question either... that's pretty odd...two women our age having a conversation would usually ask each other questions about both our lives, but I had Nina's experience of you...you talked about yourself for 15 mins. You were very pleasant, I might add ... but then, in my experience, people talking about themselves are usually pleasant, that's human nature. I wonder if you even realise that you showed little or no interest in at least two other people at that lunch? It does say something significant about you, like it or not.

On the other hand, Ninaschen put herself out to the extent of spending a stamp inviting you and through you, your friend femalepersuasion, to the lunch that the Melbourne bloggers organised ... we all agreed that you be invited at our (or Nina's) expense ... and what do we get in return? accusations, bullying, demands to know the names of our friends, etc etc...it doesn't seem a fair deal to me, and many people on this blog have told FP so.

If you guys really want to attend a Melbourne blogger's lunch, organise one and send out a general invitation for people to join you. In addition, send personal invitations using your own stamps, like we did. Just take the initiative, do it instead of complaining about how it's done, and have a great time with all the people who will turn up. I wish you the very best of luck with it, I really do.

Finally, a lot of us are not "popping in" from time to time to take a shot at someone, as you implied. The reason we appear from time to time is that we are in relationships, as well as working and looking after families, and we only have time to read the blogs occasionally. I would far rather spend time with my man than read femalepersuasion's posts daily .... it's a question of priorities.

Good luck with your summer...I hope you find happiness.

Posted by: waterbombe at January 29, 2008 9:42 PM

Istj54, for what it's worth, I have never thought you were a bully or nasty. If you are indeed leaving us - even for a while - nice to have known you. I shall miss your posts and good luck in your life.

Posted by: malsie at January 29, 2008 9:03 PM

Diamondblue2...think seriously before you start any relationship based on sex alone. You need to be a very strong person with "absolutely" no feelings for the man. If there are any flutters of something I warn you not to go there. You will be devestated by the experience and inevitable outcomes.

I am also pleased that ninaschen showed such openness and honesty. I apologise, ninaschen, if I did not get to talk to you as much as I should have. On my memory we had started a conversation where you did ask me lots of questions and then I asked you about your work...and then lots of people started to arrive at the same time and we were interrupted. The time then just flew and we all did say it didn't seem long enough to get to everyone and next time we should move around more.

By the time I was set to start writing to you the nastiness had appeared on the blogs between FP and Waterbombe...that kind of put a spanner in our correspondence as I knew you two were close.
I do sincerely apologise for what you have found to be a slight. It was certainly not intended as I would have loved to have found out more about you. I always admire and enjoy your posts. They are funny and insightful and kind hearted.
I also didn't have enough time to have along chat with Malsie and Auntykaz, but as you know the day did fly by.
Sorry...and yes, I guess I did think that you may have given me an invite on the blogs...we all go into child sometimes.

Woodnwine...I do enjoy your postings and don't think you are always nice...as I know that I am not always nice...but you are a true gentleman. That is probably a better word for you. Nice is wishy-washy and you are not that:)

I now apologise to all on these blogs who have found me to be a bully and nasty. This was never my intent, but that is what you mostly must think of me.
I am not sorry that I was the only person to come to the defence of someone attacked by people who just pop on to do so.

Well it is adieu from me and I wish you all the best of luck in your searches.

I know I have said goodbye before and will likely be back but I will take arest form all this petulance for at least the rest of summer.

I must admit, too, that I have made some wonderful friendships and pen-pals here on the blogs...but we have no rules!

Posted by: istj54 at January 29, 2008 7:04 PM

Evening all ...

Just wanted to say thank you for Sunday night's cyber-dinner. It was something I have never done before so a big thanks to willow, chef extraodinaire and to all my beautiful fellow dining companions, dressed all in their finery, thank you for a wonderful experience.

By the way, most of the frogs came hopping back but there is still one on the loose - if anyone sees it can they please send him home.

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 29, 2008 6:51 PM

Since becoming an adult, I have taken great pleasure in becoming friends with whom I want,how I want,with however many I want,and when I want.
Last I heard this was a free world,and I needed noone's permission,guidance, or justification to do so.

Posted by: graceandcharm at January 29, 2008 6:43 PM

Femalepersuasion, regarding your post on January 28, 2008 at 8:46 AM, I'm a little concerned about your reaction to a group of people who have developed friendships through this site. As this is primarily a dating site, and for a while any blogs which were not on topic were being deleted, why would you begrudge these people their friendships? As you yourself stated, "Friendship or special interest groups are normal and healthy. It's nice to feel you belong and fit in. It's good to know you have friends to hang out with. Being part of a group can help people develop relationship skills, feel close to others, get and give support, share ideas, discover what's important to them, and have fun.
Usually, friendship groups form around the things people have in common, whether they be work colleagues or even individuals that have the experience of being on a dating site such as RSVP.
The people in these groups feel they have a place where they are welcome and supported, and where they can be themselves, quirks and all."

I do not believe that I am part of a 'clique', nor is there any secret handshake or code to gain entry with the people whom I am friends with. However, everyone practices some form of discrimination when it comes to people that they are friends with. It may be because of vastly differing opinions, backgrounds, or just plain gut feelings. I have been excluded from many groups because of my personality. I don't begrudge that, because I would not have felt comfortable interacting with those people. I'm sure that if you were to become part of an online group of friends, that there would be people who you would not like to enter into that group, because of personal differences. Would that make you an elitist, secretive clique, or someone who wants to surround themselves with friendly and supportive friends?

Just so you know, I am a member of several online groups. One is RSVP, one is MSN, another is ICQ, I am a moderator on a Forum, as well as being on Facebook. I have different friends in each group. Why should that make me part of an elitist clique, if I'm deliberately not inviting you to be one of my friends in any of those groups?

Posted by: wraecca at January 29, 2008 6:22 PM

DB2 - that's not what all men want.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 29, 2008 6:20 PM

DB2, its not clear what you are wanting discussed. WnW asked you a Q too.
If that's all you want it could be cool.

Posted by: lamuse at January 29, 2008 5:31 PM

OK--here's the next diary entry. I phoned him again and said "let's just have a sexual relationship." He said: "I have never heard that before, that is very interesting."

And so, do you think he will call back? now that I have offered him "what men really want"? Maybe not--a woman who knows men and doesn't play games is such a threat.

Guys--here is your chance to say what is really happening for you. eg-- he loved to have me hold him like a child..and that was OK with me--anyone want to talk about this?

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 29, 2008 4:49 PM

I go away for weekend, and when I get back, I find out that I am a member of a Clique!!!!! And if you are a member of said clique...why do you still need to be on RSVP????

what happened?

sooo forgive if i seem to have had a blonde moment but I thought....
I am on RSVP to meet the "one that is meant for me" and I find the blogs a lot of fun! weelll most of the time, am really pleased that I have been away!

I am in another group, that is a private group for likeminded people , who are interested in making friends and maintaining friendships.

Now, FRIENDS is the important word here. It is about friendship, respect, privacy, fun and trust.
It is not a pickup place, we do not chase men, we invite people, both male and female to join. I have invited both.

We have to know and feel trust for those invited, so I am deeply dissappointed that FP is rubbishing the group on hearsay, from a male that would not be welcome in any group that I am a member of, mainly because he has broken the privacy!!!

We are all adults and we respect the privacy of other members, which allows for free and real blogging. We do not blab about other members, tell secrets, or repeat information to others.

It is like any other group, club or organisation, there are rules. If you break the rules you are out. There is no leader, we are equal, and we can vote or veto as we see fit.

Really, I am mystified that a day was spent on this stuff. Do you all talk about your local, football, lions, rsl, clubs is a similar fashion????

And...anyone can start up and organise a bloggers catch up in any city or town in Australia....so if you want to go to one, get off your butt, spend some stamps and organise or get involved in one!!!!

WnW, jenjen, today and willow, you are all correct in your views....it is something like live and let live and try to be nice as it is a much more attractive trait than sour grapes....jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at January 29, 2008 3:31 PM

Posted by: woodnwine at January 29, 2008 2:32 PM

And if this is the one lover you ended up 'in a relationship' (your words) with, perhaps it was a bad call. Keep us posted.

Posted by: lamuse at January 29, 2008 2:59 PM

DB2 - Let us know how it goes .... had you seen him many times before this "incident"?

Posted by: woodnwine at January 29, 2008 2:32 PM

HARDONYOU BLUE 2

Sorry gal. And I thought it was just Tuesdayitis had got your goat. Sometimes I forget how strong most women are.

No wonder M's post at 9.04am got right up your nose. Must have seemed to be aimed straight at you.
And thank you very much for sharing your undeserved pain.

Hope you can find someone ten times more deserving, and soon. After Mr Distractable gets his parting broadside.

A customer has just found me, scratching around in the office looking for brains or breakfast before midday, so I'm really off now. Sorry I also was, at 11.11am.

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 29, 2008 1:17 PM

I'm just going to phone him again now . ... stay tuned people.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 29, 2008 1:09 PM

dyingforablue2 - I've had exactly the same so it works both ways. You sometimes wonder why some people are on here, don't you?

Posted by: woodnwine at January 29, 2008 12:56 PM

DB2, I know exactly what you mean..apparently one is not allowed to have ANY expectations whatsoever. I would say lesson learned, don't be around next time and be on the mobile.

Posted by: lamuse at January 29, 2008 12:54 PM

wnw: weak, stupid and pretentious?? All I said was I don't like people who are tooooooo nice. Where did you get those other meanings?

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 29, 2008 12:54 PM

Slightsynchronicity: the best name on RSVP. Beautiful.

I know--emotional intelligence and wit. mmmmmm.
But now I have to add something else, because I just had a phone call from someone who said he would see me on Monday (because he had gone to Rottnest -- a beautiful island just of the coast of Perth--with his mates and he expected to be back on Sunday). Clueless, I stayed home all day yesterday and played on the blogs, waiting for the call.

So I rang him this morning, just to find out if I should wait by the phone or get on with some kind of life . . . and he said . . . . .wait for it . . . . .
"I didn't say I WOULD see you on Monday--I said I would see you IF we got back on Sunday. And I couldn't charge my mobile at Rottnest, ...so I couldn't call you . . . and sure, I enjoyed your company (oh baby I gave you so much more than company...) but you sem to be wanting something more permanent than I can provide. . . .. blah blah and blah.

I replied: no, the anxiety about a permanent relationship is all in your head--I hadn't even thought about US past Monday. But Monday was important to me. You could have phoned me on a land line from the pub, or used one of your mates' phones . . . . .

wHATEVER . . . . .. . is there anybody out there . . . .feeling something . . .

don't hold back. . . .

It's a song, BTW . . . .

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 29, 2008 12:44 PM

dyingforablue2 - I don't pretend to be nice and I'm no moron either. I know how to stand up for myself when it's called for but I don't believe in arguing, particularly with people I don't even know. Look up nice in the dictionary and I'm sure you'll find it doesn't mean, weak, stupid, or pretentious.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 29, 2008 12:22 PM

slightsync - that's good to hear ....
"And seriously women don't care about bodies as much as they do about emotional intelligence and wit. I'm not joking." .... I can stop lifting those dam weights 3 times a week .... it was boring anyway.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 29, 2008 12:18 PM

And seriously women don't care about bodies as much as they do about emotional intelligence and wit. I'm not joking.

Signing off now

db2 (don't get me mixed up with brilliantblue--no relation.

My sentiments exactly db2.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 29, 2008 11:58 AM

PS: And 'bye from me too. Got a new interstate travel addiction to feed.

Now where did I leave those customers on Friday arvo? Mondayitis I can handle, after frequent practice for 60 years, but Tuesdayitis is the pits, even if you're not in Perth. Seeyez all.

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 29, 2008 11:24 AM

HARDBLUE 2

Not nice, gal. Sorry you're feeling bad about having to leave the sandpit and go earn your living, but why do you have to take it out on Michael?

I understand your own wish for a man who's strong enough to make you eat out of his hand and like it, but Michael's way out of reach in BrisVegas.

On behalf of all the interstate RSVP males who are less masterful than delightful, I admonish you to put red cordial in your school drink bottle, girl, and wash your mouth out with it at big lunch. Then we'll all feel better.

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 29, 2008 11:11 AM

It's safe now, you can all come out and do your thang, truly.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 29, 2008 10:23 AM

DB2.............just curious but why is it necessary to be nasty, or to use the F word, in your posts to someone. I have met woodnwine at Brissy bloggers get togethers and he is a very articulate friendly and genuine person. He is not pretending to be nice, he is nice !
And what is so wrong with being a nice person ??

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 29, 2008 10:20 AM

Bye all, I have a life to live--but it was (kind of) fun playing on the blogs for a while.

Stay nice.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 29, 2008 10:19 AM

OH nina I though you were an angel--good to see you are a human.
Re istj.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 29, 2008 9:35 AM

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 11:59 PM

Willow If you visit here between sets, are you working out at home, or do you use wifi at the gym? (And with that question I leave myself open for Willow's usual play on words..)

Posted by: lamuse at January 29, 2008 9:26 AM

Sure would woodnwine.......one day.........sigh..........

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 29, 2008 9:15 AM

Well, what a weekend .... see what happens to people without partners on long weekends. Wouldn't it be better to be out enjoying ourselves with someone nice instead of sitting on our computers looking for something to complain about? Oh to dream ........

Posted by: woodnwine at January 29, 2008 9:04 AM

morning today122 .... I think we are safe now to come out and play. It is going to be another gorgeous day down in here in sunny Melbourne.

Have a good day everyone ....

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 29, 2008 8:21 AM

morning all.
Is the coast clear now?
The moderators obviously don't work public holidays.
C'mon people - don't take this so seriously - it's a blog, not life and death. And not worth all the vitriol that was spilled all over the keyboards.
Have a laugh, shrug your shoulders, live and let live - whatever.
It's gonna be a beautiful day here in Brisvegas, and wherever - so enjoy it! Even if it is back to work, but hey even that's pretty good.

Posted by: today122 at January 29, 2008 8:07 AM

VICKY DU: Me come to Melbourne? In nest month?

Flattery will get you everywhere, dear child, but I don't know if it will get me from Brisbane to Melbourne in ten days time.

That will take plane fares, and I have already just about maxed my credit card.

I have also had the honour of invitations to this particular gabfest from several other delightful Vicfemmes that I've recently emailed (although they unfortunately weren't on my shopping list, for geographical and/or temporal reasons, FP. Blokes also email girls they don't have in their sights, you know.)

I could also justify 2 or 3 weekdays in Melb. in Feb, to visit prospective new customers, and commission and photograph a recent chandelier hoist that will be installed there later this week. (Sent the kit down, last week.)

I will consult with/demolish my piggy bank to see about the airfares, but would need a piece of rentless carpet for about 4-5 nights. Preferably without furballs, but a kitty-litter tray in the toilet is OK. Don't go there often during the night, yet, although I'm house-broken.

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 29, 2008 2:31 AM

TWO EYES

Thank you for your erudition, sir.

For your information only, I am now almost exactly egalitarian, but with a pacifist's slight leaning towards philogyny, rather than any significant mysandry - except for a low regard for richardcrania, and an even lower tolerance for what the British Press refers to as "Lager Louts". Do you know the scientific name? It escapes me at the moment.

But I must admit to feelings of significantly strong mysandry when reminded of the more extreme forms of pouftacontusion.

Twoeyes: it is most gratifying to be able to blogwaffle among one's tertiary (perhaps quarternary) peers at last, once the querulous peccadillos of the emotionally-juvenile are absent. Nightowls united!

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 29, 2008 1:57 AM

Timewarp... you are a sage and I truly hope to meet you in Melbourne nest month.

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 29, 2008 1:22 AM

OMG Twoeyes... a philosopher AND a chef???? How are you still single?? I look forward to seeing you again at the Blog lunch.

And no, we are not a clique... we are a groop (spelling error intentional) of friends who actually enjoy each others company.

I may rot in hell for saying this, but I have thoroughly enjoyed today's argie bargie - it has been a most entertaining read!!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 29, 2008 1:13 AM

re INFLATED SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT:

Forgot to include in my last post about this tonight, my 2003 senryu on this topic:

GIVE AND TAKE

Beautiful people
look for presents,
but the plain
are glad to go Dutch.

- from my 2nd book of verse, page 37.

I'm glad I never thought the world owed me a living. Makes me quite comfortable about the need to EARN anything I might fancy, including Ms Right-Enuff who thinks I'm Mr Right-Enuff.

Anyone seen her around? (Her description, plus some wish-wish extra bits, are in my Profile. Also be advised: mutual rewards apply.)

PS: DIAMONDBLUE 2: No way am I a woman-hater. I really like nearly all of the women I've met, (and maybe half of the blokes.)

But when I see a person of either gender being counter-productive to a group, and even more-unfortunately, doing it by self-sabotaging, I counsel her to pull her horns in. For everyone's sake.

And as an effective manager, I prefer "public praise, but private blame." Thought about that tonight, actually, but decided she'd humiliated herself so much today that I'd save the stamp.

Only one RSVP date for this week so far, so I hope to use the rest of my current batch of stamps (am up to about No. 150 so far) on chatting up the possible, rather than preaching to the unimproveable.

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 29, 2008 1:04 AM

Philogyny is deep admiration for women. An antonym of misogyny.

The term has also been associated with gynocentrism and female supremacism, but as a movement, philogynism can also be considered an apolitical philosophical alternative to egalitarianism and feminism: a way of venerating the embodiment of human attributes identifiable as feminine, physically, mentally and spiritually. It is a personal approach to living and acting a certain way as opposed to a position that demands political change. It is not goal-oriented, but more a set of ideals according to which one lives.

A small group of bloggers (male of course ) can be associated with this term. We love women in all forms and shapes and sizes, and as such have this set of ideals................and we know who we are.

BUT are we clickey????????????

Posted by: twoeyes at January 29, 2008 12:48 AM

just to clear things up...............

Misogyny....is hatred or strong prejudice against women; an antonym of philogyny. Those holding misogynistic beliefs can be of either sex. Although misogyny is sometimes confused with misanthropy, the terms are not interchangeable, for the latter refers more generally to the hatred of humanity. A concept related to misogyny is gynophobia, the fear of women, but not necessarily hatred of them. The obsolete Latin language term horror feminae (literally "fear of women)[1] may be seen used as a synonym both for misogyny and gynophobia.

Misogyny is considered by most feminist theories as an implicit motivation of political ideologies that justify and maintain the subordination of women to men. Such ideologies are typically called sexism, by analogy with racism and antisemitism. Misogyny is, therefore, often associated with anti-woman sexism, as misandry is associated with anti-man sexism.

hope this helps.............lol

Posted by: twoeyes at January 29, 2008 12:44 AM

ISTJ - Despite well-meaning advice to do so, I just can't hold my tongue anymore. You have made a couple of digs about the lunch issue and clique thing which I would like to address.

Perhaps you have forgotten that when the first Melbourne lunch was planned, I posted on the blogs directly to you, asking if you wanted to come. Apparently, you didn't see the invitation and didn't respond. Fair enough. When the second lunch was planned, I spent a stamp on you to make sure you were aware of it and would therefore be included. The reason I did that was because I enjoyed your posts and I was keen to meet you.

I enjoyed catching up with you. I learned something of you and your life. I doubt you learned anything about me and mine, though, as you didn't ask one question about either. Nevertheless, I thought we parted amicably. That was the last I heard from you apart from a couple of comments in passing on the blogs. Then, when the invitation went on the blogs for the upcoming lunch, you pointedly said 'thanks for the personal invitation but I am unable to make it' or words to that effect. The message that gave me was that you felt slighted that you didn't receive a 'personal' invitation. The invitation was an open one to everyone, you included. We are hardly friends, ISTJ, as demonstrated by your lack of communication since the last lunch, so a personal invitation was hardly warranted. But you and anyone else would have been most welcome.

Now, because of the recent nastiness and the threats made to disrupt the lunch, the 'open' invitation has been withdrawn. We wanted to be inclusive of everyone and have learned a hard lesson from all this. It should be made clear that this is not an official RSVP thing. It is a group of people who met through the blogs, became friends and thought it would be nice to be inclusive of others. It won't happen again. Oh, unless you and FP organise something. Good luck with that!

I am away for a few days so should any comments be directed at me, I would like it known that I am not avoiding issues but I will respond on my return.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 29, 2008 12:43 AM

And real. Good on you.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 29, 2008 12:34 AM

Excellent, twoeyes, a sense of humour, a sense of the ridiculous, is always comforting.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 29, 2008 12:31 AM

googled it and cant find a meaning, but that doesnt mean that it doesnt exist.........does it?

Thought about it and in reality there isnt much knawing away at me. Sure i dont have a partner, my car is in crisis,i have little money in the bank, but am reasonably happy with life, cos i have a jopb that i love, some very nice and close friends, and a sense of humour...........

Posted by: twoeyes at January 29, 2008 12:24 AM

Oh timewarp--you are a misogynist too, aren't you.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 29, 2008 12:22 AM

Jenjen--truly, that is realy great-- how come you don't have anything eating away at you? Is there anyone else like Jenjen? I would really like to know. I am not being sarcastic, as I can be, because I am bitter and disillusioned. I really do want to know what it would be like to not feel constantly regretful and sad. Anyone else?

anyone found the meaning of "satement" yet?

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 29, 2008 12:16 AM

Hi all. Sick of working while you're all playing, so had a squiz. And saw why today's feature article (8.46am) had got me in. It was the title, which should of course have been

HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE a woman not invited to the party/clique/cult.

I was the firstborn apple of my mother's eye. For 3 idyllic years, till No. 2 came along. Spastic (Ceb.Pal. to you, waterbombe) plus projectile vomiting etc. Took my mother every waking hour to keep him alive for the first year, but my nose was truly out of joint at being suddenly on the outer.

Went to boarding school at 11 and was again on the outer because coming top in class and 2nd in the 100-yard sprint was nothing, if you weren't a football hero.

The only thing that cheered me up was Groucho Marx' famous quote "I wouldn't want to be in any club that would accept me as a member."

So I understand how cruelly rejected PEMALE PERS feels about not being a foundation or early member of every group that has heard that she exists, or vice versa.

That's why I mentioned in my 12.38pm post today that there are significant barriers to entry into every group that has any significant esprit de corps. Doesn't matter who you are - it's who they are.

And I seem to remember from 'Industrial Psychology for Neanderthals 1' in 1966 (which I passed with a C - the other 56 in the class failed), that the cooler the group think they are, the higher are the barriers to entry.

I knew that already from high school. Several other lesser gangs wanted me, but I wanted to be one of the Top Cats, or nothing.

So I tried to reassure Pemale Pers with "I think it boils down to this - if you want in, for whatever reason, it costs you to get in, and it costs you to stay in.

So you pay the price, or you give it a miss, and in either case, you put up with the ongoing cost of that decision (you made), WITHOUT COMPLAINT."

ANOTHER 2 peace-making blokes supported me:

"If people want to form private friendships they are allowed to ... and it doesn't hurt anyone else."
Posted by: woodnwine at January 28, 2008 2:50 PM

"Friendships are earned by trust and effort - they are not a right." Willow, 3pm

FEMALE PERS: Do you feel good that you have replaced Willow as the centre of attention all day today?

Even though your barrage of posts has drawn universal condemnation from a large number of the frequent bloggers, BECAUSE those following posts showed you in such a negative light - a very severe judge might even detect a slight whiff of paranoia, as well as your dangerously inflated sense of entitlement, located where a willingness to pay the entry fee is found, in ordinary people.

IMANENIGMA @ 4.07pm

"Just say nothing and show more cleavage!"

Mate, Today 122 is wrong. That was not helpful at all. No way. A cheap shot. Female Pers is a writer, and she should be allowed to show her mates on the blogs the drafts of her magazine articles, before she tries to flog them to Dolly or whoever.

To get some honest (if not always complimentary) feedback. Better an honest rubbish from a mate than a $$ knockback by a publisher, I reckon.

And she's told us today that she's already got a lot of fellers queuing up for dates, so forget the bit about cleavage. She's already got the best cleavage that I've seen on an open thumbnail in RSVP. Quite delectable.

Mate, for her to flash any more frontage would be overkill, as well as even-more-unfair competition to the less well-endowed and less-frequently dated whom she disparages so loudly, whenever she's feeling most desperate.

Gotta write another Price Quotation before dawn - better be now. Seeyez all anon.

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 29, 2008 12:16 AM

Word of the week: "satement":

Anyone want to have a go at its meaning?

See the bloggers dictionary if you are not sure.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 29, 2008 12:02 AM

TC the undisputable Leader of the Gang.....or wait was that TopCat the cartoon........Boom Boom indeed TC.........K

Posted by: auntykaz at January 29, 2008 12:01 AM

La Muse, good to hear you hit the iron. It shows in you pic.... vitality.

I tend to do a couple of sets, pop in for a quick read, then another couples of sets, etc.

Must admit, the conversation is normally more pleasant. Perhaps Tuesday will be better.

Twoeyes, on the positive side (if there is one) it would appear whatever stress you had at work is less than that here today.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 11:59 PM

I love coming home from a days hard work and find that the long running daytime soap has continued............but without the change of a story line.

I read the last post then go to the beginning and read the first of the day and then use my imagination to piece together what has happened during my absence

Then at random i read some of what has been written during the day, and can work out that nothing has changed in this soapie.

People still hate people, people still accuse people of stuff that they didnt do, people still try to justify their existence . by defaming others and creating trouble and stife , whereever they go.

I LOVE IT JUST WHAT I NEED TO GET RID OF THE STRESS AFTER 10 HRS OFF WORK, that plus a glass or 10 of chardy.................... KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK GANG..

Posted by: twoeyes at January 28, 2008 11:33 PM

WOW, I have only commented in here a few times and have always found you guys (generic guys referring to all commenters) to be welcoming, commenting to my questions and not the least bit elitist or "cliquey".

My view here is that the issue is not with the regular group of commenters here. these blogs were set up so we could all comment.

For those who check profiles of commenters mine is hidden at the moment cos I have been on a couple of dates with a new contact from RSVP and like to keep my contact to one person at a time.

Posted by: butterflies1966 at January 28, 2008 10:44 PM

Willow, just wanted to say that I pump iron too...love it.

Posted by: lamuse at January 28, 2008 10:37 PM

@ Diamond blue2- "the angry ones need to be loved too" .......Ahh... no! ....They need to get "un-angry" and THEN they will be loved!.... Being nasty is not the most attractive quality a person can have and as many potential dates will read & learn more about us from these posts than can be learnt from our profile it pays to be honest and polite. However, if you are one of these "tuff chics" with the "they can take me or leave me attitude" dont be surprised if they do!!

Posted by: imanenigma at January 28, 2008 10:26 PM

Perhaps a unicycle riding narcissist with Tourette syndrome would be more to your liking?? :) :)

Posted by: jovial67 at January 28, 2008 10:16 PM

LOL

Posted by: lamuse at January 28, 2008 10:22 PM

I just can't hack it when people are tooooooo nice. Somehow I prefer the angry ones. At least they have a sense of humour.
Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 9:15 PM

What the...????????

Perhaps a unicycle riding narcissist with Tourette syndrome would be more to your liking?? :) :)

Posted by: jovial67 at January 28, 2008 10:16 PM

Just got in.

FP, to answer your question, I said that your piece seemed passive aggressive because it was having an indirect 'go' at all those folks you accuse of being exclusive and want named by writing an essay for us about cliques to 'discuss.' If you are studying psych and will have a Masters, then you ought to know that having an indirect go at people is a passive means of directing feelings of anger. That is why I asked if you had spoken to the people in question about your feelings. You answered that by saying yes you had...well clearly you did not get satisfaction nor was it settled for you.

In any case I agree with everyone else ..you made your point, its time to move on. And you're right, I have not read all your past posts you listed as I have only recently joined in here.

DB2, sorry to have missed brunch and then afternoon tea in WA...we had a brilliant day over here which I enjoyed floating in a pool, and then a bit of tennis. And I know what you mean about being tooo nice!

WnW, and Willow, good to hear your steadying voices when reading back over this afternoon's writings. Ditto Jenjen and a few others.

Posted by: lamuse at January 28, 2008 10:15 PM

Posted by: imanenigma at January 28, 2008 4:07 PM

Thank goodness your back we have missed you!

Posted by: mstingle at January 28, 2008 10:11 PM

Me too, I'll stick to trying to be nice. Can't say that I achieve it all the time but a muzzle works well on those occasions.

Posted by: sue4you at January 28, 2008 9:44 PM

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 1:42 PM

Love your poems!

Posted by: mstingle at January 28, 2008 9:43 PM

Nice is always preferable to angry I reckon woodnwine, and there are plenty of nice people with a sense of humour db2.
And I have to disagree db2, we do not all have things eating away at us. Best to let those things go or they eat you up and/or make one very disagreeable.

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 28, 2008 9:38 PM

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 28, 2008 1:39 PM

I have not spoken to anyone else about you post today.

I agree with Timewarp1 even that the Clique post was a good one and raised very good and valid points that people should note, or did you skip past my satement inrgard to my opening.

My point was that there was a missile also in the post that you had added to what would have otherwise been a great post and that was to say an example of the sort of negativity a clique can bring about, in so many words was: Girl I was not the only one to read this. If you do not realise it then you have serious problems.

You want me to back it up, I will give you back the lines with this missile. I am just surprised that you are not capable of going back to what you have written yourself and see it. Don't tell me your mind is not aware of what your mouth is saying?

Here is the missile:

"Some friendship groups seem pretty flexible and welcome people to join in. Others seem much more restricted, though. People in these groups make it clear that not just anyone can be part of their crowd. *As is the case with the private blog group that has evolved from this site. That type of restricted group is sometimes called a clique*". Astrix added to highlight attack.

FP the post would have been a really good one to use I really think it was a goody except for you naming some RSVP members of an example of a clique this for your own sake should have been left out.

Grow up if people don't want me or I am not invited bad luck. If I feel low because of it, it is my responsibilty tom ask myself why and work on my esteem to get it where it should be.

If you felt left out, look to yourself for the answers, why you feel so inadequate becuase you may not have been invited or anyone else for that matter.

Posted by: mstingle at January 28, 2008 9:37 PM

I for one will stick with being nice. It might make me less desrireable to a woman who wants a challenging or illusive man but it makes me a calmer person. One day ............ I hope I will meet someone who is happy with that. Until then, I'll just blog and hope.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 28, 2008 9:33 PM

I just can't hack it when people are tooooooo nice. Somehow I prefer the angry ones. At least they have a sense of humour. We all have things eating away at us. Some handle it by being serious and loving to everyone and very "nice". Some don't. The angry ones need to be loved too.

I'm walking up to the surf club now to watch the news on Channel 2.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 9:15 PM

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 28, 2008 1:25 PM

Hi FP you said to back up what I said in past posts. It is pretty hard to do unless you kept something a few weeks ago backs hundreds of post unless you intended to use it for some purpose.

I have tried my best to remember exactly what you said but at the time you may not have mentioned any names as you say 'you don't name people you say things in general'

However the way you bagged others in general in regard to 'if they were over weight or not so attractive you wondered why they were wasting there time on RSVP if they were not up to scratch. This may not be naming anyone but really why say such a spitful thing.

Psychologist should know to reference all peices,that are used and there is protocal in regard to quoting unpublished or peer works, so if you are nearing the end of your studies, I am very surprised that you are not aware of this!

Now I want you to think back to a post I wrote to you and it was something like this 'after reading your post, I just had to check out your profile and darn! Your profile and photo's look great.

You had written very uncompationate narrow minded views on the less desirable and I was wanting to look at your profile and photo's and say hey! girl why do you think you are so great with a profile and photo's like you have but was unable to.

I will always give credit where credit is due but I will never be happy about attacks on others naming other people or not.

Posted by: mstingle at January 28, 2008 9:12 PM

We all have, my point exactly

Posted by: sue4you at January 28, 2008 9:07 PM

Anyone else had to deal with life and death for the past 25 years?

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 8:59 PM

Well, who IS this guy next to me with the suitcase and the blow-up doll?

Sorry, you guys just go ahead with whatever it is you do best . . . hope somebody laughed.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 8:54 PM

Gee it looks like it has been fun on the blog today, lol:) My last post was approximately 1.09pm and I went of for the day at the beach and socialising and low and behold after all this time a real winner has been evident all day, by the look of the post's.

Posted by: mstingle at January 28, 2008 8:52 PM

I agree with WnW, life is too short to hate people. Criticism that is destructive is destructive not only to the receiver but also to the person who gives out the vitriol. Every time one vents this way it eats away at your being.

As a new blogger it is quite disturbing to see the blogs drop to this level. Please, for everyone’s sake, could everyone just move on.

The old cliché, if you can’t speak nicely don’t speak at all. There’s a difference between having a different opinion to someone and verbally attacking each other. And yes, not knowing the history behind all this, maybe I am being naïve but after dealing with life and death situations for the last 25years this is really not worth having such a bun fight over.

Posted by: sue4you at January 28, 2008 8:51 PM

db2 you peeked, I was just joking about leaving you to watch a movie. I though you had fallen asleep. I'm on my way back to watch the sun set in the western sky.

My virtual lover does not have a name since I have not yet found her. Perhaps she was on the plane somewhere?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 8:45 PM

Bit hot in here still.

Channel 2 sounds good.

Willow wishes you better spirits in the morning. Goodnight.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 8:40 PM

Well, it's 6.30 and willow and his virtual lover and I are having fish and chips on the beach. We have a lap top, so we can still enjoy the happiness and laughter on the blogs (when it happens).

The sea breeze is in, the champagne cork has popped, the bubbles are flowing down the side of the bottle--come on willow, if you are not careful, some of it might actually get into my plastic glass.

And your virtual lover is gorgeous. What is her name again?

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 8:35 PM

I have noticed that about you Woodnwine...you are accepting and respectful at all times...not naive, nice:)

Posted by: istj54 at January 28, 2008 8:32 PM

Personally, I find it hard to really dislike anyone or to shut them out. Can never have too many friends. Naive? Probably.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 28, 2008 8:26 PM

Channel two: Black and White

Posted by: istj54 at January 28, 2008 8:22 PM

Peace and love everyone ..... just enjoy life. Don't get upset .... it just gets you upset. OK, what movies are on tonight?

Posted by: woodnwine at January 28, 2008 8:20 PM

Ist54...don't make accustations unless you're willing to name the people!
While we're on the topic....I've found you and FP to be the usual ones to dish it out continually in an underhanded way....funny that the ones continually pointing the finger at others appear to be the main culprits!

Posted by: brilliantblue at January 28, 2008 8:10 PM

Can someone please let me know when the crap stops hitting the fan and everyone can play nicely in the playground. I'm a little bit over those full of their own self-importance, and I'm really struggling to see how it fits with sex and money (yes, I know we don't always stick on topic but.....).

Grow up one and all - we are adults, leave the bitchiness out of this. Who gives a rats butt who slighted who and when, where, what and why it happened (oh look the 5 w's of a good narrative).

FP - we've got the point, over and over. I don't know you, and don't know too many of the bloggers but it's pretty clear that without naming names who is being accused of what - doesn't take Einstein to work that one out. Please for the sake of others who are subjected to this crap, take it somewhere else....email each other, or do something, just leave it out of the blogs.

I, for one, am over it....

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 28, 2008 8:03 PM

That was exactly my take on what bunny boiler meant too.... Auntykaz

Posted by: brilliantblue at January 28, 2008 7:53 PM

bun-fight " Often this refers to a heated altercation, but one that the describing observer feels is of no importance, rather like the nursery squabble that started the expression off "
From the online dictionary

How is this word sexist FP ??

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 28, 2008 7:53 PM

Well said Imanenigma in regards to choice language used by Diamondblue2!

Posted by: brilliantblue at January 28, 2008 7:51 PM

Decoratress ......
Rule no.1, must enjoy a nice shandy on a hot day.
Um can't really think of another one at this minute......
BTW l thought a bunny boiler was someone who was in Fatal Attraction......Glenn Close style........K

Posted by: auntykaz at January 28, 2008 7:51 PM

FP .. ok let me repeat myself again.. its not the WORDS to be exact its the reasoning behind them.. the attitude..But hey whatever floats ya boat dear.. You want to look like a maniacal woman on here.. thats your perogative.. have fun.. !!

Oh and as for the words I have to post to prove it.. Nah can't be bothered theres too many of them and really I have neither the time nor inclination to prove anything to anyone. you are doing a good job of it all by yourself!

Oh and also attitude can be perceived from the written word.. Don't you read books??

Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 28, 2008 7:38 PM

today122, @ 6:50 pm

Indeed it doesn't bode well. It's a sad thing for people who feel the need to over-compensate for inner lack by external grasping, be it material or otherwise - but that realisation wouldn't make it any more pleasant to be with someone like that!

Posted by: malsie at January 28, 2008 7:32 PM

@Diamond Blue2- I'm a bit of a fan of talking dirty in intimate situations BUT such "potty talk" on the blogs is a bit much! You're not a wharfy are you? eeewww! And from a women of such mature years....double eeewww!!

Posted by: imanenigma at January 28, 2008 7:30 PM

As I see it the fault with these blogs are all about the perception of "attitude" which cant be determined by the written word. It is just each persons perception and is not accurate but open to interpretation.

That is why I said show me the 'words' of venom that you and others accuse me of. Because I have not written any ever.

But women have used nasty, defamatory words when talking about me..such as "bunny boiler', commented derogatorily on my photos, my appearance...

And yet I have not made a personal unsavoury comment about any one.

So, maybe take a good look at your own attitudes and try and do a bit of self reflecting as to why I am pushing your buttons. Someone you dont know, but you interpret what you think my attitude is.

And SS, I was talking to YOU. If you are going to accuse me of something specific, you do need to be able to prove it by repeating the words that prove your allegation.

And, as for all those men and women that refer to comments as "a bun fight", can you please think about how sexist this is to women. If men state theire opinions, that is acceptable is it?

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 28, 2008 7:24 PM

Oh she was talking to me... Um FP.. yep I thought he was Mr Right.. but he was Mr Wrong.. However!! I have met someone else.. who is shaping up to be THE Mr Right.. But thanks so much for your concern.. I appreciate it!! :-)

Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 28, 2008 7:14 PM

Is FP talking to me ? ....

I don't need to post specific words FP in regards to venom.. its the attitude in the words that you post. I am proud to say I have met a few women in person from these blogs.. email a few and am hopefully going to meet many more. Meeting these people has been the most rewarding part of being on here. I met toooooooooooooooo many loser men.. through dates. And funnily enough the one guy I am crazy about I met through facebook.. but am still so happy to have met so many strong and wonderful women and a couple of guys too!!..

Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 28, 2008 7:03 PM

And the prize for comment of the day goes to - drumroll please -
just say nothing and show more cleavage!

Posted by: imanenigma at January 28, 2008 4:07 PM

Happy Australia Day everyone.
kinda makes you wish the French had settled here after all

Posted by: today122 at January 28, 2008 6:59 PM

Is that the same Mr Right that met you and dumped you ?
Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 28, 2008 6:47 PM

Come on FP - you've had your say - all day. Don't you think enough's enough. None of us need to hear personal attacks.

Posted by: today122 at January 28, 2008 6:53 PM

W&W @ 5.22pm....
... not a chance, heh!!!

... there are posts here supporting my view that there is far FAR better entertainment than tv!!!

Am about to post the (endless) list of rules & prerequisites for consideration by the Executive Committee of The Melbourne Clique (of which I am oh so proud to belong.... hand to chest, steely gaze into the distance, AustraliaDay style)....

It appears We (as a group of friends who blog, that is) need Rules..!! and Guidelines..!!! as to who we should Allow to Join Us In Friendship...
.... I'm on to it guys!!!

love&letsgetoverourselves
decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at January 28, 2008 6:51 PM

Posted by: malsie at January 28, 2008 5:44 PM

Yes - and that sort of mean streak is so easily seen, right from the get go. Very protecting of their material goods, even more protective of themselves. A learned attitude? Most likely and that's kinda sad, but it doesn't bode well.

Posted by: today122 at January 28, 2008 6:50 PM

Thought I'd posted this before but it didn't seem to make it.
Why the agism?

I’m new to the blogging side of his site but, reading back a little, there seems to be here, as elsewhere, the ‘great debate’ about ages in partnerships. Is an Australian thing? It certainly isn’t the case in Europe or America to anything like the same extent, if at all.
There seem to be some very ‘threatened’ attitudes out there.
There’s one from a number of women who seem unable to refer to a young woman in partnership with an older man in any but demeaning terms.
There’s one (cross gender) that seems to think gravity automatically wins at about age 40-something.
There’s another that seems to think any relationship between people of diverse ages must somehow necessarily be sexual on the part of the older party.
There’re more but those seem the chief ones.

Come on people! This is the 21st century! If you want to stay slim, trim etc., it’s not a mystery and men can do it just as much as women: it just takes a little effort. And if you still wear ‘pullovers’ and ‘trousers’, shirt & tie or the female equivalent of the 1960’s . . . yeah, well, you’re not going to catch the eye for any good reason. People who look outwardly as if they’re frozen in time, tend to give the impression they may be that way intellectually as well!

I’m lucky, I guess: I’m well over 50 but I have a 21-year old daughter living at home (thank goodness and in her own ‘granny-flat, which is as good as it gets!). I wouldn’t go shopping for clothing or bling without her! She has terrific dress sense for herself (all her friends come to her for advice) and for me.
Also lucky because her friends have become my friends too and keep me fresh in thinking/attitude terms. I can put their unspoiled clarity of vision together with my lifetime of experience. They invite me out with them, clubbing, theatre etc., we have joint parties at home and it’s all a very two-way street. Some of them have been far more helpfully supportive in times of personal trouble than many of my own-age friends! I’ve as many friends I value in that age group as my own!
Maybe a little less ‘attitude’ and a lot more listening on the part of the over-40’s would close the gap somewhat and make age-mixing more common, more fruitful and comfortable.
Some of the most intelligent, intellectually exciting women I’ve known are very much younger than I: less baggage, less concreted attitude, more openness and sense of the adventure of life.

The greatest love of my life was 26 years younger than I: our relationship was only ended by tragedy: we had a life together planned. We each said that we had to run to keep up with the other! Age just wasn’t a consideration for either of us.

Next Saturday I’m going out on a first date with someone 30 years younger than I . . . . but that’s just chance . . . . the first time we met we talked for nearly 3 hours on what should have been a half-hour business discussion. But our minds met, she’s so intelligent and we’re both writers. She also happens to be lovely to look at . . . . but that’s partly because this great, interesting, thinking personality shines out of her. If you’re boring, it’s gonna show! If you’re interesting/ exciting, so will that!

Get over it, people! Scrub up, dress up, stop wrinkle-gazing, use your minds, be the sort of person you’d like to meet . . . agism just isn’t relevant.
And guys: drop the pick-up lines: it’s not about ‘picking up’ . . . . it’s about ‘meeting’! Otherwise, as Pink puts it, it’ll be ‘you and your hand’!

I could bang on about this at greater length (Yes, really!) but I do think maybe we need one web site for people who just want sex and another for people who want relationships! (Or, you could say, one for juveniles, one for adults?) On the latter, I’d ban the listing of people’s ages!!

Posted by: roygotaas at January 28, 2008 6:47 PM

Is that the same Mr Right that met you and dumped you ?

Thats what women like you don't understand..you think you have to appear a certain way to get the guy..you are speaking from fear.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 28, 2008 6:47 PM

I would call it a disappointing day rather than an interesting one.

Now if you read my post referring to my offer to take pictures at the lunch..you are mistaken if you think that this was a threat. I think that it would be good to take photos..photos were taken at the last lunch and the Sydney meet took photos and then posted them with a link so we could see them all.

Now what concerns me is your interpretation of " stems from a comment I made regarding a blogger who stated that she would take photos of another blogger & expose that individual whether she liked it or not...."

I did not say this at all, you are mistaken ..you are twisting words trumanscat to try to appear in a favourable light.

Now, a 'bunny boiler' is a woman that chases a man, and when he rejects her, she is unable to take no for an answer. I am sure you understand this. And what is an unsolicited email? Is that the one that females send to men on the pretext that they would like the guy to give them an honest opinion of their profile? Thats the meaning I understand, because thats what guys tell me how some of the women ooerate on this site. Is that what you mean??

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 28, 2008 6:36 PM

Happy to oblige, WnW. I'll leave the "sex" topic alone, I think, and address the "money" one.
I don't know that the topic has to be "broached" (as mentioned in the intro). A generally stingy attitude reveals itself pretty early on, I reckon. I'm not referring to the "who pays for what and when" argument that's been canvassed so many times here. But a certain tightness that's shown in insisting almost down to the cent that someone pays their exact way - no give and take of "my turn this time, and your turn next" evenly sorting itself out; a grabbing kind of attitude you can spot a mile away.
That is such an unattractive thing. Someone stingy with money, will be stingy generally with the giving of themself, I believe.

Posted by: malsie at January 28, 2008 5:44 PM

Nah, WnW. I've already bought tickets. Don't want to waste my money!

Posted by: ninaschen at January 28, 2008 5:39 PM

Actually .... I'd be more interested to discuss the actual topic that watch a bun fight. Any takers?

Posted by: woodnwine at January 28, 2008 5:22 PM

Karma .... or is it calmer?

Posted by: woodnwine at January 28, 2008 5:21 PM

If this group is really genuine- tell the rest of us us who the members are.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 28, 2008 3:20 PM

femalepersuasion - I would suggest that they are just a group of friends that email each other .... nothing more, nothing less. They are not about to name who they are, why would they? ... they don't ask you to publically name your friends. Don't be bothered by what is not a problem to begin with. Hey, it's all good .... just blog and have fun.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 28, 2008 4:43 PM

db2 I am leaving now to catch the plane.

My Adelaide virtual date is booked on the flight as well since you requested company. She does not weigh much, the airline told me there will not be any additional charge because she is not Excess Baggage.

Will Tion be there?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 4:37 PM

istji, really "run off her feet" on a dating site. What were you thinking?

SS 2:53PM, you have your joke.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 4:32 PM

Who owns H.A.L?

Is this original the 2001 version, if so it is one I can do without.

If an upgrade is available may I use it for my new Willows RSVP Intel based ideal partner profile matching program, it will replace the cherub that has most so frustrated.

I can still change the program because it is waiting for RSVP approval before release.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 4:30 PM

Ah BB , while the H.A.L program is a remarkable breakthrough in technology..........it has its limits!

Posted by: imanenigma at January 28, 2008 4:23 PM

Willow...forgiven...actually I was having technical difficulties yesterday with laptop connector...have got son's at moment, but who knows for how long.

He does have a female counterpart but she will be run off her feet for next seven days multi-tasking until he returns to help.

Posted by: istj54 at January 28, 2008 4:22 PM

db2 I have been discovered. What is Emo tional In tell i gence.

I do not think I know him, Emo that is. Do I need to tell on him to the gents, perhaps WnW and stratus. A dobber I am not.

Wit I can do, I will consult my psychiatrist to see if he can help me with the rest.

Have I misunderstood In telli, does this means I should watch more TV with the boys.

I hope fish & chips at the beach is still OK?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 4:16 PM

I'm here ISTJ, been offline for a bit and see I havn't missed much, except maybe a flash dinner by a very "smooth" willow. I could learn something there....perhaps.....mmmm. Lucky bugger!

Posted by: imanenigma at January 28, 2008 4:16 PM

Imanenigma....or H.A.L program if all else fails!

Posted by: brilliantblue at January 28, 2008 4:15 PM

Don't worry about that Diamondblue2....none of the long term bloggers would ever confuse you and myself!

Thanks for the compliment Ist54...love Chris Lilley!

Posted by: brilliantblue at January 28, 2008 4:11 PM

@ Female Persuasion, It is my opinion that many people on RSVP have formed "private" friendships and meet, email etc outside of official RSVP do's.e.g Sydney,Melbourne,Brisbane bloggers catching up etc. But why the interest? If you are not included in these groups or one of your own and dont approve of them, why worry? I have not been to a "bloggers" meet so I dont know any participants but I have met some ladies through RSVP and gone on some dates. If your life is that boring and you are feeling "left out" I could tell you about them I guess?.......Does seem a bit weird though!! I think you may do better if you post in a friendly, intelligent manner and adopt the "each to their own" attitude. You may then be invited to join these groups or even get more "kisses" from potential dates (which is the point of a singles site,isn't it?) and if that fails........well.......just say nothing and show more cleavage! My opinion for what its worth. ;-)

Posted by: imanenigma at January 28, 2008 4:07 PM

willow--how did we take care of heart and soul?

And seriously women don't care about bodies as much as they do about emotional intelligence and wit. I'm not joking.

Signing off now

db2 (don't get me mixed up with brilliantblue--no relation).

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 4:06 PM

istj sorry about giving your job away.

You did not attend and as I have said in several posts I am a failure at multi-tasking so in the end I really had little idea about who was doing what.

Besides I am still trying to work out how ISTJ fits in with my blue-green HBDI.

Next time I may just serve some of db's fish and chips with MR wine. This sounds much easier for a handicapped Mere Male.

Does the delivery man have a female partner available for a seven day trial?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 4:06 PM

hahaha-

just had to thank you FP... for the VALE LURKER comment!!

GO GIRL...!!! ...make friends & influence people!!! (now maybe a little sarcasm has crept into things...)

& no, by the way- I wasn't being sarcastic suggesting you try being a little happier.. it's surprisingly easy with the understanding that we are not our emotions. We have the choice, always, to view things in a positive or negative light. Generally, the positive seems to make us happier. Just call me helpful. Or not. It's not important.... I don't know you, as you so rightly pointed out... & you don't know me. Seeing as we aren't likely to meet, why do you care?

love&peace...
honestly!
decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at January 28, 2008 4:03 PM

Brilliantblue...why do I always think of Chris Lilley when you post?

Posted by: istj54 at January 28, 2008 4:00 PM

...on my "own" that was ,until the food arrived.

Posted by: istj54 at January 28, 2008 3:58 PM

...Willow, just a little miffed that you gave my job to Ninaschen but rest assured I had a fabulous evening on my with the rest of that port...and a thai take-away feast to die for...and I have kept the delivery man for a seven day trial period:))

Imanenigma...where are you? Missing you!

Posted by: istj54 at January 28, 2008 3:57 PM

db2 I thought we took care of heart and soul last night.

If I do not pump iron (lift weights) then at 48 I would have a body that even the best heart and soul could not overcome. Remember there is still dessert from last night to work off.

It is either do it now in between blogs or do it after 10.30PM as is usually the case.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 3:56 PM

The great thing is . . . . . .oh . . . . . .i've lost . . . . . .connection ............hello . . . . . . . .

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 3:56 PM

Willow--stop pumping iron and come over now. Please know that no woman is attracted to a body before she is attracted to a heart and a soul.

So don't waste your time pumping iron--whatever that really means.

The beach at South Fremantle is waiting.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 3:51 PM

Willow1059- this is not about you !!

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 28, 2008 3:49 PM

You are not crazy Istj54- you are spot on.

And nothing wrong with having their own private liitlle group- but you are right- it is probably sooo.....boring that , that is why they try to rope in unsuspecting newbies.

Just let the uninformed know that you do this, so they can make an informed decision whether to attend.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 28, 2008 3:47 PM

hi istj, no I am not a member.

You were invited last night so have I done something to upset you?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 3:46 PM

Twilight zone approaching fast....time to get out!

Posted by: brilliantblue at January 28, 2008 3:44 PM

Thanks Malsie--it is an amazing part of the world. Hey everyone, whether you are angry, hurt, happy, in love or anything else, if you want to visit WA, please just email me. Oh and BTW I am in a relationship- not with 2 guys but with one. So I am not searching for anyone, I JUST LOVE creative intelligent people--as you all do. . . . .

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 3:36 PM

why are they organising a lunch with public bloggers that have not necessarily been invited to join this private group?
Valid questions that deserve valid answers. If this group is really genuine- tell the rest of us us who the members are.
Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 28, 2008 3:20 PM

People can go to an RSVP bloggers lunch and not be a member of the private group. An afternoon get together was held here in Brisbane recently, about 14 of us, and anyone was welcome to come along and were invited over the blog here. Some also belonged to the other private group, others did not. We all had a lovely afternoon sharing thoughts and experiences about all sorts of things.
As Willow has said most of us belong to all sorts of groups of one kind or another based on friendships or whatever.
I am mystified as to your attitude to this other group. Any group, be it the local football or car club, has the right to include or exclude people.

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 28, 2008 3:30 PM

Decoratress: if these people are your friends, (and I don't doubt for one minute that they are not) and you have contact with them personally via email and perhaps in person as well, AND you are seeing someone ( if I take the posts to be true from your friends naminf the dude!) Then why, oh why !!! would you want to be included in current blog comments, or with meeting other new bloggers???

I think it is great that you have made friends with people on the blogs from your time as a single on RSVP...but perhaps you need to see those individuals privately.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 28, 2008 3:30 PM

FP...what others do privately is their business....why do you expect others to list who they are in contact with via private email?
Would you list all your acquaintances on a public blog site?
BB

Posted by: brilliantblue at January 28, 2008 3:30 PM

diamondblue2, have to agree with you about Perth's beautiful beaches and weather.... sigh. I've just returned from 3 weeks visiting friends and family there (I used to live there too), and thoroughly enjoyed them and the above.... have fun!

Posted by: malsie at January 28, 2008 3:25 PM

Hi Slightsynchronicity (what a beautiful name): Come on over any time, seriously.

Bodyboarding is really good--but can be scary too.

No, I don't know Maslins unclad either. But with 2,000 kilometres ofcoast-line in WA, Maslins should skulk away in comparison.
Being just the two of you alone and unclad is good.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 3:25 PM

db can I join you for fish and chips by that beautiful Indian ocean. Will meet you there after I have finished pumping iron.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 3:19 PM

Hey, so I'm going to cleanse my soul in the Indian ocean--where you can sit on the beach and watch the sun go down over the water--. Utterly gorgeous. Especially with fish and chips.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 3:06 PM

Sounds perfect, am going bodyboarding if there are waves at one of the local beaches. Or just revel in the beauty of nature, exactly db2..Not Maslins unclad BTW...have fun and enjoy your day everyone. Perfect day here in Adelaide. Glad you had fun Willow and other guests hope you have a slice of pie saved for today122 and WnW also!!!!!

Oh and is notgodsgift finishing off the pool house at the resort?

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 28, 2008 3:15 PM

Well, would anyone like afternoon tea?

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 3:14 PM

willow1059:
Whilst I wholeheartedly agree with your plea, I fear it's in vein as heated er..."debate" appears to be the nature of the beast with many people on these blogs. That's why I don't post here too often these days.

Whilst this is not directed at anyone in particular, as far as I'm concerned, any person who enjoys attacking others in either an overt or covert manner is certainly not good relationship material anyway, so why converse with them on a dating site?

Posted by: jovial67 at January 28, 2008 3:07 PM

Bugger it's so hard to leave you all--but I must head for the unbelievable aqua blue hues of the sea, and the white, endless white of the sand.

If you have ever wanted to see god's variations of blue, come to WA. (And by god, I mean whatever produced such beauty and grace that takes your breath away--not a Christian "God")--

Hey, so I'm going to cleanse my soul in the Indian ocean--where you can sit on the beach and watch the sun go down over the water--. Utterly gorgeous. Especially with fish and chips.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 3:06 PM

hello SS and WnW, we missed you last night.

Not a word spoken in anger.

I agree, if others choose to have a splinter group that is a choice that free citizens can make.

This reflects life, football clubs, ladies lunches, workgroups, mens nights out. It reflects the diversity of life, something to be cherished not envied.

What is important is how we conduct ourself in the groups we participate in, not those to which we are not included.

As far as I am aware, we can all choose who shall be our friend. Friendships are earned by trust and effort they are not a right.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 3:00 PM

Hope you bloggers can have a constructive day...Maldives building or otherwise. Good points WnW and Willow.

Maybe someone will post a joke later : )))

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 28, 2008 2:53 PM

hey fp: before I head for the beach, you might like to know that ARGUMENT in the academic sense is just a historical/cultural phenomenon, not the absolute true way of dealing with your troubles--just something that came up at the time. (you know, thought it was a good idea at the time). However, many people, esp women, have deconsructed the "truth" of ARGUMENT, realising that it is part of a specific historical era and a very male way of thinking as well.
You need to read some femisnist theory to get some answers. Your lecturer at the moment must be male, and is demanding that you provide essays that reflect his idea of what is right and good, right?? Well just don't do it OK??

I know the terrible dilemma you are facing. Rebel against them, or please them to get good marks. That has been the lot of women (in various permutations) for hundreds of years.

Hold your head up high and don't get caught up.

In the end it's all a game,so don't let anyone have authority over you. You have the right to be your own author.
The writer of your own story. Just like all of us are doing on
RSVP--writing out a self that we would like to be.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 2:52 PM

So, who are the members of this private RSVP group- If it is no secret I think you should be able to say who you have as your members.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 28, 2008 2:47 PM

femalepersuasion .... what does it matter? Really? If people want to form private friendships they are allowed to ... anyone can. It doesn't really matter and it doesn't hurt anyone else.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 28, 2008 2:50 PM

db2....hi, a while back there was a man from WA on the blog. You seem to be the only one on here from WA at the moment, but I am guilty of not frequently checking bloggers profiles to see their location. Handy if RSVP allowed our state to be put next to our names. WA is on my hotlist of places to visit and Margaret River has nice wines. I believe the beaches are spectacular there too. There are probably a number of Perth blog readers....

Hi Aquariusgirl1959 I see you are from SA also! You posted in a blog they closed, which makes it difficult for newbies then. Welcome then to you.

Trumanscat if you are around the place, are you going to WOMADelaide?

This job I have means I can't keep up with all the threads and respond to everything. I read that Stratus has been on the Maldives by himself but hope to hear a work progress report. The moderator should put that Monday nights Maldives frivolity back...it was a hoot. Have not laughed so much for a long time. Imanenigma...have you got your profile pictures sorted out yet?

Also I am going to bake the "Better Than Sex Cake" soon and report on it.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 28, 2008 2:47 PM

Yes willow ... as I have said before ... don't get upset .... it just gets you upset.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 28, 2008 2:47 PM

Am I the only person who thinks it is time to stop the vitriol passing through here?

I ask all to consider whether your heart is so large it has room to both love and hate at the same time. Mine does not.

Life is far too short at our age to allow this anger to pervert our soul, these hurtful words leave behind a trail of shame for victim and perpetrator, perceived or real.

We have all in the past hurt others, as others have hurt us. We need not agree, but we should allow others to hold a differing opinion without fear of malice being directed at them.

It appears many hold their opinions with vigour, are you able to apply this strength to rise above these ill winds.

I say it is time to move forward, forgive, leave this poison behind before you fall victim with your soul tarnished and your spirit broken.

Please note this is not being directed at any one individual, we all have our faults with good and bad days.

All I am asking is for you to take a deep breath, capture some fresh air then consider whether this conversation portrays you in the light you wish to be seen in.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 2:43 PM

Another poem to cut paste and keep Willow !
How clever you are :)
And thank you for dinner - the best Sunday night for a long time !!

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 28, 2008 2:32 PM

Willow, a fun poem!

Posted by: lamuse at January 28, 2008 1:55 PM

Yes willow, just perfect.

Don't stop writing, OK??

Talk to you all this evening.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 1:53 PM

FP, you didn't answer my Q about whether you had discussed your feelings with the people in question..this direct approach is called being assertive, and that your studies would have recommended, rather than offering opinions in a somewhat passive aggressive manner via an essay.

Posted by: lamuse at January 28, 2008 1:50 PM

I am nearing the end of my studies to become a psychologist, and these opinions are my own so no ref. will be forthcoming.
Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 28, 2008 1:25 PM

Well when you are registered with your state as a psychologist, that is when you become one. For many, that requires a Masters degree...is that what you are completing? And I believe it was you that introduced the term 'academic' when you said at 12:08

"So, write a descent response either negating all my arguments. I challenge YOU or anyone else for that matter to respond ...bet you won't though, as being 'bitchy" is one thing, wheras demonstrating intelligence with sound academic argument another."

So, taking up your challenge, I responded, pointing out what an academic argument might look like.

Posted by: lamuse at January 28, 2008 1:43 PM

db2, as requested at 12:34. A poem about dinner last night titled “I know what you did last night”

I know what you did last night
Thankfully, mostly out of sight
MsTingle with dog in tow
Oh dear, the group did grow

Next time perhaps lamb roast
Who will say the toast
Shall we again drink fine wine
From Margaret River, none mine

Cogent words formed sound
Us in space tightly bound
Heartily did we greet
Indulge in many a fine treat

Aromatic food still fresh
Fine group we did mesh
I hear Kitten did purr
With each tender stoke of fur

Dolphin did swim
Otherwise evening would have been grim
So well did Wishful moderate
None were forced to spectate

You company I did enjoy LaMuse
Eloquently put were your views
DiamondBlue arrived late
All said G’day mate

Formed in my mind an image of Nina
Dreaming of pastures greener
Cocktails by Jenjen
Asked for again and again

Shall we make another date
Perhaps we can find my mate
With beauty to desire
Before my life does retire

Late that evening we sought our bed
Had we indulged in too much red
So fine was the wine
A superb evening, the pleasure was mine

Behaved as so fine a sport
Not in sight a legal tort
I know what you did last night
Thankfully, mostly out of sight

db2, will this do?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 1:42 PM

As for the weather lamuse: it is always hot and dry in Perth. Having lived in Melbourne for 15 years of my life, I still long for "a cool change" which really does not happen during summer in Perth. But I am weird--everyone else here adores the weather, as they should. Perth is a gorgeous place, and I love it, and I'm glad to have brought up my children here. It's just that I actually love rain, and there just isn't enough of it!!

That is so ironic though, because we have never had water restrictions here on the scale that I experienced in Melbourne. ie, I have never had to hand water here, let alone set up a bucket brigade, which we did in Melbourne when I was about 12.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 1:34 PM

lamuse: that was the angry, disillusioned me that said I have two lovers. dang..I wish I could do that . . . .hey are there any guys out there who can explain what it's like to be with two women at once. This is a serious question.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 1:23 PM

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 28, 2008 12:52 PM

Oh now that's a thought, lol. My little girl may come in handy one day:) Keeping guard of bed, never thought of that.

Posted by: mstingle at January 28, 2008 1:12 PM

Lamuse are you heading down to join us any time soon?

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 28, 2008 12:47 PM

You mean to Brisbane? Well that would be fun..someone let me know when and I will attempt it. Is there to be another bloggers meet in Feb?

Posted by: lamuse at January 28, 2008 1:10 PM

DB2, a brunch in Perth sounds divine.
I had hoped for some latest news re your lovers, but you never replied...maybe that means you have added more? :>)
Are you still having very hot weather over there? We are finally having a decent summer day here after many weeks of overcast and rainy, windy weather...I am off for a sunbake at a friend's pool, followed by hit and giggle tennis and drinks at a gorgeous golf club in Noosa.

What is everyone else doing?

Posted by: lamuse at January 28, 2008 1:04 PM

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 28, 2008 12:31 PM

I am going to go out on a limb here!

Firstly I found your post about Cliques interesting and there were alot of valid points. That we should all read and take notes from. (A ref would have been good, however).

Only problem I see with you post is a major fault and that was for you to indicate that there is a clique going on that have members that think that they are better than anyone else.

I knew exactly which group of people you were aiming an accusation at, because you said it was another bloggers group.

Others mistakenly thought you were talking about the dinner last night but I did not interject.

However since you have pointed them in the right direction according to your own oppinion I feel the need to say something.

I know these people you are refering to and they do not only invite men and they are really cool people. They have come together out of commonality and that is that, they which they have a right, to invite non-mudslingers.

Do they all agree on things or as some jerks suggest only pat each other on the back. No they are adults who will mention what they disagree and agree on, without being childish and pouting if someone does not agree with them.

Everyone accepts or does not accept people based on personality and similarities. This is called forming a group not a clique, we are all part of numerous groups. We are part of these groups because we can identify with them.

Now ranting a raving on about a group that you have not been part of or even know what they talk about, is a little silly don't you think seriously. This only puts yourself in the position that you have put your self in.

Also claiming to be more desirable than others, like you often do, really is so unattractive, but hey you keep on going maybe you will get a group of your own, with like minded people. Oh you said there is a lot of negatives in a group that make them a clique, so therefore maybe yours would be more a clique than a group.

Posted by: mstingle at January 28, 2008 1:01 PM

Thanks Timewarp!

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 28, 2008 12:59 PM

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 11:47 AM

Dear willow and mstingle ... frogs and I spent the night being chased by chihuahuas so we weren't there at the end of your bed when you woke up this morning ...

What's for breakfast?

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 28, 2008 12:52 PM

Willow, I have freshly squeezed orange, apple, mango, or kiwi fruit juice.

FP: seriously, what would you like?

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 12:49 PM

Lamuse are you heading down to join us any time soon?

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 28, 2008 12:47 PM

timewarp, nicely spoken.

db2 at 12:34.

A poem about last night it shall be
To be shared between you and me.

Perhaps something more later tonight for now it is time to eat and be bright

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 12:46 PM

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 28, 2008 12:31 PM

Sounds to me like some of the women bloggers have become friends with others in their city. What is wrong with that? That makes them a group of friends, who email each other and get together...they found each other via these blogs and they continue to invite people to and join in blog gatherings..the fact that they have formed a subgroup of new friends does not make a clique necessarily.

Posted by: lamuse at January 28, 2008 12:44 PM

FEMALE PER @ 8.46am 28th

Well I liked your magazine article draft a lot, even if others may not have. Hope you can sell it elsewhere for money. Very obviously based on first-hand perceptions, but that gave it immediacy, without losing generality.

And it applies to a very wide spectrum of "exclusive" human groups, from teenage gangs right up to life-endangering cults like Jonestown.

I remember how hard I had to work through most of year 11 to be accepted into the coolest gang in my year at Churchie. Significant barriers to entry, even there.

I think it boils down to this - if you want in, for whatever reason, it costs you to get in, and it costs you to stay in.

So you pay the price, or you give it a miss, and in either case, you put up with the ongoing cost of that decision, without complaint. Am I wrong or am I wrong?

Sunshine State sun is shining for a change, so the laundromat calls. Seeya next weekend, somewhere on an official RSVP blog near you.

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 28, 2008 12:38 PM

db2 can I join you for brunch. May I also have some time to think about the hash browns. Their contents sound a little too diverse for so early in the AM.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 12:38 PM

Oh Willow, it's not always about body parts, although that's not a bad thing.

Please write a poem about last night.
"I know what you did last night" comes to mind.
db2

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 12:34 PM

Sounds great DB2....reminds me I am actually hungry and in need of something a little more "real" - enjoy your day off bloggers!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 28, 2008 12:32 PM

The cherub does appear to be displeasing many.

I have updated my profile earlier today with willows RSVP Intel powered ideal partner matching service. It is free to use.

It is currently awaiting approval by the RSVP lords. I suggest you turn off Mr Automatic then use my manual version. Perhaps RSVP will approve it soon.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 12:28 PM

femalepersuasion: yes I, among others on this site, could have an
Aristotlean discourse with you which would be way too intense for a public holiday, and besides, you are hurt and angry about something, which would make the argument skewed.

As willow said, want to join the party? It's brunch at my place. 10.25 in Perth, so lunch for most of you'all.

Sliced mangoes from up north (and I dont mean Queensland), grapes from down south (not
Victoria), apples from the central east (a gorgeous place called Donnybrook), then scrambled eggs from the Margaret River free range hatchery (very yellow yolks) and hash browns (which is leftovers from Willow's dinner party, just fried up on the barbie--eat it if you dare!!) Could contain traces of leopard skin, petunias, silver spurs, frogs, and breast of apple pie).

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 12:27 PM

db2 I am sorry but I cannot let it hang out more.

I was raised to be "old school", dignity and modesty demand nothing hangs out.

Remember earlier in the week when I told the story about "Free Willy", it was my cousin that was naked on the beach not I.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 12:18 PM

Hey, diamondblue2: I'm not going anywhere. I love your profile BTW. Not a clique??? just wait to see what happens if you attend a lunch though!!

If the poor male bloggers that have been emailed relentlessly by all the desperate female bloggers on this site CHOOSE to pay all their attention to YOU, you may find yourself in the position that I am.

Out of the CLIQUE, but with every male blogger emailing you for a date!!

Some call it KARMA

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 28, 2008 12:17 PM

willow: thank you, sorry I fell asleep on the couch just after the main course (in real life as well). That Margaret River red is pretty potent stuff.

Seriously loved your writing--describing your rendevous with your virtual lover. Even tongue in cheek writing reveals truly elegant prose.

Go for it--you need to let it out more. and we can handle it.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 12:14 PM

Maybe it is the residue of last nights drinks clouding my blonde head this morning but what does the whole clique vs. friendship thing have to do with anything? It reads like a sermon (so perhaps BB's suggestion of preaching is, in fact appropriate and according to dictionary.com to preach is "to give earnest advice" so it fits). On second thoughts, it actually reads like a direct stab at people who seemed to enjoy a lot of fun at last night's virtual cooking fest, courtesy of Willow/Cherub.

Reminds me of the dirty glasses willow found this morning - sour grapes!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 28, 2008 12:14 PM

db2 we very much enjoyed your visit last night. Thank you for joining us and nicely said at 12:02.

It was a very serene evening, all past hurts and injustices put aside. I noted all typos went unpunished.

It really is amazing how replacing anger with forgiveness, hurt with love and distance with the close sense of touch can change perceptions.

FP, would you care to join the party?

It is never too late to change tack, by doing so we can sail the path our journey takes us on, in blissful peace.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 12:12 PM

So, write a descent response either negating all my arguments. I challenge YOU or anyone else for that matter to respond ...bet you won't though, as being 'bitchy" is one thing, wheras demonstrating intelligence with sound academic argument another.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 28, 2008 12:08 PM

FP's comment- 8.45 today

Touch�

Posted by: gopiesdotcom at January 28, 2008 12:03 PM

femalepersuasion: I found out last night that the bloggers on this site are not a clique. I invited myself to the virtual dinner party at the last minute and was graciously welcomed by the host and two lovely guests. And I have been the queen bee of angry, nasty and disillusioned in the past.

My take is that blogging is like chaos theory--it is evolving, changing, open, adapting to changes in its environment, developing, always producing something hopeful and beautiful.

No thing in this world is going to be all good, all the time. Just take me for an example.

Come back to the blogs . . . I want to talk to you!!!!!

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 28, 2008 12:02 PM

LaMuse "The fact that I fell asleep in the petunia bed after the second glass of port should have no bearing on my comments."

I knew it was you that choose to rest in my petunia bed for now it a bed of roses, red and fragrent. Fresh with the scent of summer, warm and rich.

"Now, how about another discussion topic on the way to a man's heart..."

Indeed, we can try this topic but I do not believe it will take very long to discuss all one of one possibilities.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 12:00 PM

Brilliantblue: it is so easy to try and discredit a persons intelligent argument with flippant comments like; arent you trying to preach to others?"

NO, I am not, especially since 'preaching' is according to the English Oxford Dictionary " a verb -to deliver a religious address to an assembled group of people"

Now considering that I didn't give a religious address, but instead a well thought out post on both sides to what constitutes a clique- please DISAGREE if you feel so inclined!! but to do so, you need to be able to argue my points and give valid reasons why what I say may not be true.
Anything less than that and fobbed off with salatious comments, only demonstrates that you aren't possibly capable of reasoned argument, or that you are are part of the CLIQUE that I discussed without the intelligence to back up tour OWN arguments.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 28, 2008 11:55 AM

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 28, 2008 8:56 AM

Good idea I will turn cupid off too because the other annoying thing is that most of the ones that they send me are no way what I am looking for and when I read also what they are looking for, they really do not describe me at all.

Therefore it makes you think are they paying any attention to who they are matching you with, or are they putting people's profiles on that are lacking in attention.

Posted by: mstingle at January 28, 2008 11:54 AM

nina, you need not apologise for viewing my profile more than once.

Each visit of yours doubles the number of weekly views I receive from 1 to 2, thank you.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 11:53 AM

LaMuse, I trust your plane landed safely in QLD. Did you fly Virgin Blue, if so is this appropriate?

Do you have any spare water for dolphins bath, we are running low in Adelaide.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 11:50 AM

MsTingle "Chihuahua in bag naughty girl she is" 7:28AM.

Are you sure she stayed in the bag all evening. When I awoke this morning I could not find kitten at the base of my bed nor any trace of the leopards on my sheets.

Perhaps she is chasing the naked cherub.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 11:47 AM

Willow, dear cherub, we were all impressed with your cooking prowess and the cute derriere...so don't despair! The fact that I fell asleep in the petunia bed
after the second glass of port should have no bearing on my comments. Now, how about another discussion topic on the way to a man's heart...

Posted by: lamuse at January 28, 2008 11:45 AM

Aww Willow...don't be so harsh on yourself. Such a gracious host you were last night and a man of many talents - as obviously displayed. You may have been without attire, however, you are not blind although you could be deaf due to the noise of said extractor fan (I've yet to test this theory) and you are by no means stupid...well not in the sense I meant anyway :)

Perhaps we are a unique bunch of individuals (could almost be a clique), in that we cannot find matches for ourselves, perhaps we should turn to finding one for each other - could be very interesting!

On the other hand - glad I haven't turned you off yet Willow - that'd be sad...but what's even sadder is your inability to be turned on - surely we could work on that.

I don't need hope and light thanks....desperate and dark is almost sounding appealing!

Careful with the matches - didn't your Mum tell you NOT to play with them Willow/Cherub???

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 28, 2008 11:39 AM

WT 10:07 "so I'm guessing the little Cherub is not only naked, but also blind, deaf and probably a little stupid too!"

I think this is me that you are talking about. I am sorry to have disappointed you so.

As I was cooking virtual dinner naked last night (as instructed) I could not hear above the noise of the extractor fan nor see past the beauty of my guests before me. I have been called stupid many times in the past so I am quite confident it is I you are talking about.

Please be confident that I willow now known as "cherub" am equally bad at finding a match for myself as I am for you and others.

You need not turn me off, for it has been so long since I have been turned on that I think I have just forgotten how to do it.

I will endevour to only send future matches thay may give the gift of hope and light into you life. Please allow some time for this as I test methods to extract the flame from these matches due to OHS concerns.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 28, 2008 11:31 AM

FP's comment- 8.45 today

Very interesting FP but aren't you contradicting what you youself said by preaching to others on how they should behave!
I find your form of preaching another
underlying way of trying to control others on the blogs!
Just because your perception of a group is so, does not mean the people involved have formed a little clique!
BB

Posted by: brilliantblue at January 28, 2008 11:28 AM

as subtle as a sledgehammer on the second read.Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 28, 2008 11:19 AM

too true

Posted by: twoeyes at January 28, 2008 11:25 AM

Today....I was thinking the same thing as I waded through that saga this morning - but it was probably as subtle as a sledgehammer on the second read.

Jenjen...a dangerous cherub....paints a rather unique picture I'm thinking!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 28, 2008 11:19 AM

FP - 8.46am Monday morning

Please explain.
Was there some sort of subtle message within these thoughts?

Posted by: today122 at January 28, 2008 10:48 AM

What is it they say about little naked cherubs ? Fat, naked and dangerous ?
I look at all the profiles cupid match sends but I dont think I have ever seen one where I match their ideal partner profile or them mine!!

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 28, 2008 10:32 AM

hmmm... I had to laugh at the last selection that came through. I think the little naked cherub might be just leaving my mailbox soon ....

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 28, 2008 10:19 AM

Kitten, I think the Cherub simply takes into account your location and how old your "ideal" match might be because other than that I can see no correlation between Cherub's choice and my ideal. I've had smokers, people with way different religious beliefs, one looking for "attached friends", so I'm guessing the little Cherub is not only naked, but also blind, deaf and probably a little stupid too!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 28, 2008 10:07 AM

wishfulthinker03: what I want to know is why parameters does the naked cherub run by. My perfect matches are just so out there that I am left scratching my head as to why that list was sent to me and whether it was actually meant for someone else. Does anyone actually know how the cherub works?

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 28, 2008 9:51 AM

Hahah MsTingle...glad I'm not the only one to do that....I turned Cupid off - never trust a naked cherub, especially when he sends you your ex as your "perfect match".

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 28, 2008 8:56 AM

WHAT"S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GROUP OF FRIENDS & A CLIQUE?

Friendship or special interest groups are normal and healthy. It's nice to feel you belong and fit in. It's good to know you have friends to hang out with. Being part of a group can help people develop relationship skills, feel close to others, get and give support, share ideas, discover what's important to them, and have fun.

Usually, friendship groups form around the things people have in common, whether they be work colleagues or even individuals that have the experience of being on a dating site such as RSVP.

The people in these groups feel they have a place where they are welcome and supported, and where they can be themselves, quirks and all.

Some groups stick together for a long time. Others drift apart after a while as people develop new interests, make different friends, or just find they have less in common.

People can move in and out of different groups and can even be part of several at the same time. Even within a group, people often have one or two friends they feel closest to and enjoy the most.

Some friendship groups seem pretty flexible and welcome people to join in. Others seem much more restricted, though. People in these groups make it clear that not just anyone can be part of their crowd. As is the case with the private blog group that has evolved from this site. That type of restricted group is sometimes called a clique.

SO WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH CLIQUES?

Cliques are tight groups that usually have a strict code of membership and ways to act. Instead of being centered on shared values and beliefs, many cliques tend to focus on maintaining their status and popularity.

For instance, a certain clique may try to make it seem like the people in the clique are "better" than those outside, or that their clique is higher status than another clique.

People in cliques sometimes use their power to hurt others on purpose, either by excluding them, being mean, or both. Sometimes they might insult people by trying to paint them as a liar, or by criticizing their appearance.

Sometimes it becomes more serious and someone outside the group is targeted or victimized for being, looking, acting different or even having the ability of independent thought.

Although people might think it's better to belong to a clique than to be excluded, many times people in cliques end up dealing with lots of pressures and rules. They soon start to worry about whether they'll continue to be popular or whether they'll be dropped.

After a while, they may begin to realize that true friends wouldn't be so controlling or excluding. This dynamic is always evident in groups that need the entire group consensus for approval into the group.

WHY DO CLIQUES ATTRACT PEOPLE?

Cliques attract people for different reasons:
~For some people, being popular or cool is the most important thing, and cliques give them a place where they can get this social status.
~ Other people want to be in cliques because they don't like to feel left out. Some people simply feel it's better to be on the inside than the outside (it's not, but more on that later).
~Cliques give people who like to take control a chance to be in charge (for good or bad!). For people who feel more comfortable following, they offer a place where rules are clearly defined. It's usually clear to clique members what they need to do to fit in. This may be an unspoken agreement.
~Sometimes that means sacrificing some freedom and following the leader rather than doing what you feel like doing.

Clique membership is usually tightly controlled by the leaders. These social gatekeepers are the ones with the power to decide who should be let in and who should not. This type of membership control usually happens in cliques of women.

Men are usually clueless to this type of female behavior and can sometimes find themselves involved in this type of clique unwittingly.

As many people have found, entry into a clique isn't guaranteed. In fact, women who are seen as likeable and popular may actually be excluded from belonging to a clique. That's because her personality or confidence may pose a threat to the leaders.

She may not be a good "follower" — especially if she can be popular enough on her own and especially if she is seen as being popular with the opposite sex.

Sometimes her friends may even be invited to join when she isn't. Clique members may deliberately exclude her in an attempt to take away her perceived power or the threat they think she could pose.

INSIDE THE CLIQUE

It's not all roses inside a clique either. A person's standing within the group can always be under threat.

Most of the followers cling to the leader not out of true friendship but because they want to keep their position in the group.

But even the leader can lose her power. In fact, the queen bee in a strong female clique probably worries as much — or even more — about being popular and accepted as the outsiders do.

Because no one feels secure, clique members often use the tools of flattery, humiliation, or rumors to manipulate situations and preserve their status.

A few people manage to stay friends with people both inside and outside the clique. But that can be hard to do because there's often intense pressure from the group to be friends only with people on the approved list.

It takes a lot of self-confidence to dare to be friends with someone outside the clique.
Sometimes clique members decide they want out. They don't like being limited by the rules, and they don't like leaving others out and hurting people's feelings. As people get older, they may not feel like being part of a clique anymore. Although some people irrespective of age join cliques, sadly as a way of boosting their low self esteem.

SURVIVING CLIQUES

Whether you're on the inside or the outside, cliques can make your life tough. But there are ways to cope:

• Know yourself — and your reputation. Now is a time for getting in touch with your values, interests, and beliefs. If you're encountering cliques, it's a good opportunity to ask yourself some self-discovery questions about what you and your true friends give each other. Do you want to be part of a group because you need to feel accepted or because you actually share their values?

How do your friends influence the way people think about you? Does this make you feel good or bad?

• Stay involved in activities that make you feel good about yourself. If you're in a clique, don't let the group pressure you into alienating yourself from other human beings. If you're on the outside and feeling left out, getting involved in things that interest you is a great way to find a sense of belonging, help you feel valued, and take your mind off a group that's not welcoming.

•Keep your social circles open and diverse. Cliques can be very limiting in the way they control how members look, think and behave. Don't let them make you miss out on getting to know people who may become close friends. If you're on the outside, it can help to find a close friend or group of friends whose values, goals, and behaviors fit in with yours.

•Sometimes just knowing that clique members are probably insecure can limit their power over you.

•Speak out. If you feel your group is turning into a clique, take a stand for your beliefs. Be prepared that the clique might go on without you (remember those women who feel threatened by someone else's strength). But there's also a chance that others might follow your lead and stop acting so clique-y.

If it's too hard to get up the courage to speak out, you still don't have to participate in things that feel wrong. And if you're on the outside and know that a clique is bullying or intimidating others , have the integrity to speak out.
• Have a mind of your own. Be sensitive to others and don't go along with what you don't believe is right — even if others are doing it.

You are the only one responsible for your behavior. True friends will respect your mind, your rights, and your independent choices. Try not to be intimidated. If your crush is on the "outside," ask him or her out anyway. It can feel good to mix things up a little.

Friendships change. Just as one clique can make life miserable, changes in social groups can take their power away. You may encounter cliques at your place of employment or on public blogs such as this..

Want to know the real secret to being popular and having friends? Be a good friend yourself. People who enjoy true and lasting popularity are those who have good friendship skills.

Being a friend means being respectful, fair, interested, trustworthy, honest, caring, and kind. So if you want to have friends, be just the kind of friend you'd like to have and leave the cliques to themselves.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 28, 2008 8:46 AM

Posted by: ninaschen at January 28, 2008 12:18 AM

Can relate, I often click on someones profile whether it be male or female when they have said something intesting. I may have done so before but I can't remember everything about everyone.

I don't think we just click on those we may be interested in.

I find it annoynig however when I recieved a list of cupid matches that list profiles that they have sent me before and because I am hopeless at remembering all the names and some names may be similar but have a different number attached. Especially when I click on a profile and go eeewww, darn, I wish I could remember not to click on that profile.

Posted by: mstingle at January 28, 2008 7:43 AM

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 27, 2008 11:53 PM

The Monday night that we went to the Maldives stayed positive too. It was either neg's were at bay or were kept busy reading the post and were entertained by it.

Posted by: mstingle at January 28, 2008 7:34 AM

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 11:49 PM

The sheets stayed dry then, that's good.

Posted by: mstingle at January 28, 2008 7:31 AM

Posted by: greattimestocome at January 27, 2008 11:46 PM

Chihuahua in bag naughty girl she is.

Posted by: mstingle at January 28, 2008 7:28 AM

Looks like the virtual meal went well : )) did you save me a piece of dessert?? Hope you had enough help with the dishes Willow then. What a descriptive feast then, how supurb!

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 28, 2008 2:00 AM

I fell into the petunia garden bed and fell asleep...now I have to catch my virtual plane to return to Queensland. Thanks for the party Willow!

Posted by: lamuse at January 28, 2008 1:45 AM

VDU, Good that you'll bring it with you. Mind you, after one of those, i think I'd be over the limit to drive!! And getting to my place from Kareela, needs a car... or a boat..
Anyway, must away, Nite all...

Posted by: greattimestocome at January 28, 2008 12:51 AM

Firstly, let me vouch for Ninaschen - she is a lady of the uppermost class who has no need, nor wont to resort to stalking (love you L!!).

Secondly, I haven't been to Kareela GC for over a year GTTC, so I'll bring the recipe with me!!

Thirdly, timely reminder about the furball, Timewarp - eewww!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 28, 2008 12:31 AM

Hi all. Back early from tennis, because it wasn't on. When I saw the floodlights not on, I finally remembered there weren't going to be enough of us tonight, so they had cancelled. I'm working too hard, or getting too old. Or something.

Just checked the instant replay of Willow's dinner party, and you lot are inspired! Haven't seen or heard so much fun since my elder daughter's legendary 6th birthday party.

Please girls, do consider the garden beds, rather than driving or flying home. And if the few Adelaide summer mozzies do attack your voluptuous bits, demand a turn (in pairs for mutual chaperonage) between the leopard sheets.

A good host (and Willow is exemplary) doesn't mind sleeping on the carpet just once. Just keep away from the furball, mate.

Nite nite, and you'll certainly all sleep tight.

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 28, 2008 12:24 AM

Ninaschen, s'OK. Didn't thinnk you were... I'm the same and forget who is who.. Interestingly, some are hidden profiles (not anyone I have had contact with - so I can't be blocked I guess).

VDU, I'm sure one could buy it in the shire. You think someone at Kareela golf club would know how to make it without being told??? (I was there just before Xmas..)

Posted by: greattimestocome at January 28, 2008 12:24 AM

Ye of little faith GTTC... haven't you heard of mixing your own?? If you can't buy peach schnapps in The Shire, I'll bring it with me.

Mind you, the Kareela Golf Club has a pretty well stocked bar from my experience!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 28, 2008 12:20 AM

Goodnight Willow, sweet dreams, my friend.

GreatTimes - I must apologise! I am not stalking you. The trouble is, you don't blog frequently and when you do I forget that I have already checked out your profile and then when you post again, I think, "hmm, must have a look at who that is, I haven't seen that name before" and then OOPS! It is you again! Anyway, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 28, 2008 12:18 AM

VDU, OK. I'm not far from there (15mins). Give us a shout... I have no idea of which venue/club that might stock peach schnapps near there... They're pretty plain in 'The Shire'...

Posted by: greattimestocome at January 28, 2008 12:13 AM

By the way GTTC, I might be visiting Oyster Bay late Feb... maybe we can try "Sex on the Beach"??? Not the obvious, but the cocktail, as you put it in your post!!!

Seems like it's bedtime for all of us after such a wonderful night at Willow's... what happened to staying power?

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 28, 2008 12:07 AM

What power you weild Willow! You're off, and everyone vacates..

Posted by: greattimestocome at January 28, 2008 12:01 AM

What a lovely change to not need a moderator (I've read recent posts - sheesh!!!) WT3, maybe it's your influence that has kept things on a friendly level??? Good for you girl... maybe you should consider a role with the UN????

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 27, 2008 11:53 PM

Good night willow and thank you for a lovely dinner - good food, good wine and great company. The prose was beautiful and the sheets inviting ...

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 11:49 PM

Sweet dreams Willow, no doubt you'll sleep like a baby after all your hard work today - you are a consummate host and a gentleman to boot... thank you.

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 27, 2008 11:49 PM

Well...since everyone was extremely well behaved tonight, no need to moderate, so I shall rinse my glass, put on my shoes and head out the door....goodnight all....and Willow, what a waste of a good man :)

Thanks Jen for manning the bar and mixing cocktails to die for. Mstingle, I'm almost afraid to ask "What IS in that bag"? Kitten - hold on tight to the frogs, just incase someone gets a little peckish throughout the night!

Goodnight all.......play nice now!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 27, 2008 11:47 PM

mstingle, OK, I'll bite... Whats in the bag?

Posted by: greattimestocome at January 27, 2008 11:46 PM

Time to say goodnight.

It has been a busy day/week preparing for this evenings dinner.

Thanks to all who attended whether for the full dinner or just after dinner drinks. Thank you to my assistants with drinks, seating, moderating, etc.

I hope you had fun at willows virtual home having willows virtual dinner. If you did then you did it without a touch of sex in sight!

By the way, did anyone notice not a word in anger was spoken tonight.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 11:45 PM

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 11:29 PM

Whoa! Excuse me Willow, just out of the bath, is that you making a commotion in the bed room, well I did warn everyone not to go near my bag.

I suppose you forgot and you didn't notice it seen as the bag matched your sheets.

Well don't worry the bag may move but the contents can't get at you.

I hope the bag didn't leek and wet your sheets however. I did see to things before I arrived and it should be about time now to ensure the contents of the bag, if I remove now and let it loose outside, that it does not leek inside my tent.

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 11:44 PM

VDU, Thanks. Sex on the beach sounds as good as its name!! Never tried peach schnapps, but sounds good.
Are any of you lot actually trying any of these now?

Posted by: greattimestocome at January 27, 2008 11:41 PM

Thank you Willow, though I think I actually gate crashed... it must be a Melbourne thing!!!

It's so good to return to the fold to meet new friends of such a high caliber. You've all made me feel welcome again.

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 27, 2008 11:41 PM

No apologies necessary VDU, I too am a lazy typist....

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 27, 2008 11:41 PM

VDU, I must admit you were invited based upon your profile. I plead guilty.

I do not invite strangers into my home without attempting to judge their character first.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 11:35 PM

GTTC, scroll back to about 8.00 - the entire cocktail is listed there in detail

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 27, 2008 11:34 PM

I think you're right WT3 (apologies for the familiarity but I'm a lazy typist)

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 27, 2008 11:32 PM

Well, There's another male visiting! What on earth is a 'sex on the beach'? And before anyone feels the need to describe the obvious - I meant the cocktail.... ;-)

Posted by: greattimestocome at January 27, 2008 11:32 PM

lamuse, port in the garden is fine.

Please do not use it to lubricate the garden beds, I believe we may be having a sleepover, I may need to use all of them.

Coffee anyone, I may have put down one too many. Quickly went into the bedroom to change into something more comfortable when the sheets and bag started lunging at me. I asked them to stay still but they refused. Undeterred, I left the room holding up the wall so it would not fall down.

Did we have a weather change, as I sat on the waterbed to change my shoes the waves tried to engulf me with a rage previously unseen by me. Did anyone see the storm front when they were at the beach?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 11:29 PM

Willow, somehow I don't think that will last - it simply isn't "you". I think it's a ploy - so you don't have to wade through the harem, pushing poor Stratus and Twoeyes aside, to announce which of the lucky ladies was to be your date :) Good ploy though, I must say. However, it could open up a whole pandora's box with some of the fruit loops that appear on this site :) Good luck fine man!

Girls...there goes another one - see it's true...all the good ones are either married or gay :) Just proves the point!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 27, 2008 11:29 PM

Willow I am sitting here shaking my head..........for once I have nothing to say.......what are you thinking !!!!

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 11:23 PM

I'm roight here jenjen, I was jusht keeping the wine (hic) company, thatsh a good chellar you got willow. Did I hear shomebody say sex?

Posted by: stratus65 at January 27, 2008 11:23 PM

Well I might slip into the bath with Dolphin before I go, if she doesn't mind.

If she is still mingling with the rest I will get in quick and have a hot bath before I go and crawl into my tent on the back lawn; Mossie proof and listen to ocean waves and flutes on one of my tapes.

Nothing like crawling beneath crisp linen and doona, which I always bring with me traveling, after a hot bath. Breeze flowing through the mozzie net heaven.

I bid ye fare well, twas indeed a grand occation.

Thank you Willow, kiss, kiss!

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 11:22 PM

I hope that decision wasn't made just after looking at my profile, Willow... that would be an extreme reaction!!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 27, 2008 11:21 PM

The poor blokes seem to have caved in... no doubt the excitement of tonight and the anticipation of the Melbourne BlogLunch... or maybe they're retired to choreograph their table-top dancing routine at the aforementioned luncheon???

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 27, 2008 11:19 PM

After much consideration I have decided to turn gay. No man can possibly deliver all these things consistently, it would appear I am destined to be forever single.

I shall cradle empty bottle close to my breast seeking to dull the pain of a barren existence.

"Money is not required, sex is a definite, humour is a must, empathy to feel one another, prose to move, bitterness should not be allowed, humility to be able to love each other, taste to enjoy the treats of life, beauty is truly in the eyes of the beholder, smell to entice the senses, sound to move the spirit, nature because what is, is."

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 11:18 PM

Excellent idea lamuse... I'll meet you in the garden.

Jen, seeing I'm back from a lengthy absence from the Blogs, I think I should start cautiously - no Sex on the Beach for me just yet!!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 27, 2008 11:16 PM

Right VDU, Pearl Harbour it is !
And where have twoeyes and Stratus got to ?
Too much vino and they are probably sleeping it off on Willows leopard print sheets.........

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 11:14 PM

Well victoria the Mudslides, Blue Lagoons, Orgasms and Jager Bombs have been popular.........which would you like ? Or Sex on the Beach ?

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 11:12 PM

PS, feel free to call me VDU for short.

I've scrolled back to the cocktail menu and I think I'll have a Pearl Harbor thanks - cheers!!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 27, 2008 11:11 PM

Excuse me, I've only had a glass of red, one of white and a small port..I'm still standing! Are we taking our port into the garden, Willow?

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 11:11 PM

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 10:57 PM

Jen you have been a busy Gal with the drinks good to see you have been enjoying the Jagers too!

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 11:10 PM

Just be careful with those candles mstingle - we had a big corner spa bath at our last house and my ex set his hair on fire while reaching down to the floor for his drink !!
It was hysterical !! Hehehe........

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 11:10 PM

willow - yes, pj's are on but frogs keep hopping away in fright of the frypan

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 11:10 PM

Thanks Jen, what do you recommend??

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 27, 2008 11:09 PM

victoria, Port is being served. I believe you may be the only sober person here.

Think about a cocktail of two, the list is in a post earlier this evening.

Kitten, did you wear your PJ's?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 11:09 PM

That's good then, my services are not required....I shall kick off my shoes and enjoy a drink and keep my eye on the company :)

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 27, 2008 11:07 PM

Yep no trouble over here wishful - they are all busy with their Sex on the Beach and Orgasms !!
Cocktail victoriadownunder ?

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 11:07 PM

WT with the jenjen pouring the drinks there will be nothing to moderate. Another 30 minutes and we will all be passed out, bath or no bath.

I think I am the only male again. Was it the dessert?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 11:05 PM

I'm here Willow....still licking my wounds and sitting in the corner watching closely in case I need to jump in and moderate, however, with Jenjen pouring the drinks it's a safe bet all will be mellow in your neck of the woods

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 27, 2008 11:01 PM

Posted by: dolphin46 at January 27, 2008 10:36 PM

Oh I would kill for a bath. There is only a shower here! A bath is one of my favorite places to be also. Hot water, perfumed oils, candle light and a recording of 'The Mission'. This all takes me to heaven on earth!

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 10:58 PM

I know I'm too late for dinner but is there still some port left??? Ninaschen, pass me a tea towel please....

Hey twoeyes, are you expecting table-top dancing at lunch next month??? Better get your dancing shoes on my friend!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 27, 2008 10:57 PM

Nina, willow, dolphin, drinks coming up...sorry to be so tardy hic !......too many Jager Bombs for moi :)

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 10:57 PM

where are you wishfulthinker, have you departed or are you stuck for words.

Too much to eat or drink?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 10:55 PM

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 10:33 PM

Is this the porch at today's? If so are you coming?

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 10:53 PM

All of the above Willow....you need to see it, hear it and taste it all - it's a package deal.

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 27, 2008 10:51 PM

"Money, sex, humour, empathy, prose, bitterness, humility, taste, beauty, smell, sound, nature. What role have these words?"

Money is not required, sex is a definite, humour is a must, empathy to feel one another, prose to move, bitterness should not be allowed, humility to be able to love each other, taste to enjoy the treats of life, beauty is truly in the eyes of the beholder, smell to entice the senses, sound to move the spirit, nature because what is, is.

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 10:50 PM

Make mine a triple jenjen, i am greedy

Posted by: dolphin46 at January 27, 2008 10:50 PM

Willow, you sound like a true romantic.Your cooking and written words with dessert have us all thinking. Words are hard to find to answer the topic. Some deep thought is needed along with another drink.:)

Posted by: dolphin46 at January 27, 2008 10:49 PM

jenjen, orgasm please, a double.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 10:47 PM

I think the way to this woman's heart is via ears...for words of wisdom, intelligence and delight, for sound of a voice, for tone, for cadence...to be able to co-create even in the minds' eye..

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 10:46 PM

To read what you had written for desert was beautiful, so one must say the eyes.

To taste what you cooked, one must say the lips

To hear the love and laughter surrounding, one must say the ears.

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 10:45 PM

I have paid you all a little visit to thank you for your company, you will see me in your side-bars. So. Talking about bars, what's left to drink? Someone want to mix me a nice little cocktail?

Posted by: ninaschen at January 27, 2008 10:45 PM

“Is the way to a woman’s heart most direct through her eyes, ears or lips”.

We have been busy, far too busy for the question at hand.

Ladies and gentlemen, has tonights dinner given any reason for you to rethink your positions on this subject?

Money, sex, humour, empathy, prose, bitterness, humility, taste, beauty, smell, sound, nature. What role have these words?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 10:41 PM

Willow, none as good as this one. Silly drunk dolphin I am , Jewels is camping on south coast and insisted that I send her hellos,she is dining on steak and dessert in spirit. Hi from jewels on south coast.
Am used to sleeping in baths, my second favourite place to be.

Posted by: dolphin46 at January 27, 2008 10:36 PM

Another Mudslide Willow? Or something different ?
Dont worry about those dishes.... I will help Nina.

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 10:34 PM

"L" do you need a hand with the dishes, feeling embarrassed about being late and would love to help out and show my appreciation

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 10:34 PM

Mstingle, where is today? We need her for the porch later ... shall I book a cab?

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 10:33 PM

Good port..haven't had one for ages. What a fine host!

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 10:33 PM

willow your efforts tonight have been appreciated. The dinner was divine, the company gorgeous. Bravo.

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 10:32 PM

And have we been served with our 'supremes de pommes avec de surprises de peches'?...I would like mine sans cream if possible...

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 10:31 PM

Sex on the Beach mstingle........on top of all those Jager Bombs you've had...........go girl !!

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 10:31 PM

Willow, your culinary skills are impressive as is your prose. And the company has been exemplary. Truly, the best evening I have had for a long time. Please, let me help with the dishes while the others clear the table and tidy up. Two Eyes, clean up that fur-ball in the corner. I did warn you.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 27, 2008 10:30 PM

Today where the hell are you?

I can't drive and come and look for you now, Hic! didn't you get my call to say I was running late, that you should get a cab instead of me picking you up?

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 10:30 PM

LaMuse, Port I can do, may I join you?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 10:24 PM

Of course...and sorry I am not familiar with Chunky Custard although sounds appropriate with desert

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 10:29 PM

dolphin, how many vitual dinners have you been to?

When you are ready later I have prepared the bath in betwen main and dessert. Please do not drown.

May I have another cocktail, I have been working hard tonight?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 10:28 PM

Sorry dolphin and kitten, drinks are on their way !
Evening twoeyes, nice of you to join us. No beer sorry. Check the cocktails list........or there is a good selection of wine.

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 10:28 PM

nina, whatever you may be thinking, I haven't done anything wrong, yet. And if anything did happen, it wasn't me, honestly

Posted by: stratus65 at January 27, 2008 10:27 PM

Ronan Keating, Willow.....I'm sure he'd be offended but alas, still a nice tune

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 27, 2008 10:27 PM

There was another 'b' in bomers-bombers but maybe the b flew away..buzz...buzz maybe I am a little tipsy.

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 10:26 PM

just in case anyone thought there was anything happen that shudnt have there wasnt...................a bottle was spilt on the carpet.( said tic )

Posted by: twoeyes at January 27, 2008 10:26 PM

A port would be lovely ... LaMuse .... may we share ...

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 10:26 PM

LaMuse, Port I can do, may I join you?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 10:24 PM

Well Jenjen I am ready for sex on the beach after all those Jager bomers, thanks.

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 10:24 PM

nuffin nina i promise..........

Posted by: twoeyes at January 27, 2008 10:22 PM

Willow, what a wonderful addition for dessert. Beautiful words, best virtual dinner ever

Posted by: dolphin46 at January 27, 2008 10:21 PM

I am not keen on sherry, Willow..any Muscat? Or a fine Port?

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 10:21 PM

thanx willow nice meal..............maybe next time we could collaborate . I will cook and you do the other stuff................

Posted by: twoeyes at January 27, 2008 10:20 PM

willow ... i am speechless and so very impresed with tonight

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 10:20 PM

Apologies LaMuse, I have been hogging the Sav Blanc but there is plenty more. So here, enjoy!

Stratus and TwoEyes, what are you two boys hatching up?

Posted by: ninaschen at January 27, 2008 10:19 PM

Good grief Willow, did you find a New Love somewhere between the main course and dessert? Or was she hiding in the flower beds? Or did Meatloaf leave her behind?

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 10:19 PM

dear willow, this has been a feast to die for ...

dolphin46: would you like a piece of apple slice?

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 10:18 PM

and then sit in the wet spot all afternoon and say nothing, trying to hide it .

really poor form actually....

Posted by: twoeyes at January 27, 2008 10:15 PM

Part 3 of the trilogy Relationship Matters “In the Kitchen, dinner with dessert” continued.

Dessert: Breast of Apple Pie with Peachy delights.

Music by Chunky Custard, a favourite in the SA club scene.

Drinks are a variety of spirit mixes and cocktails (do not be rude!)

Conversation to be main topic “Is the way to a woman’s heart through her eyes, ears or lips”.

Arrange seven peach slices joined end to end around the upper and side edges (if necessary) of a largish square bowl, this represents the number of days in each week. They must be slices since the moon is waning tonight, good karma dictates this. No juice yet, this will be added later.

Place a warm to hot square or rectangular apple slice at the bottom of each bowl, cover with two generous scoops of vanilla ice cream one at each end of the slice. Central to the two ice cream scoops place three generous tablespoons of whipped cream. Garnish with strawberries quartered and trimmed to pyramid shapes, kiwi fruit or mango to suit, a touch of seedless watermelon for colour. Over this spoon one tablespoon of peach juice in long swirls, not more so as to not overwhelm the other flavours.

After dessert: Relax with Sherry

Music is old time favourites such as JPY - Love is in the air, John F - Whispering Jack, Marcia Hines - Shining and songs from Jesus Christ Superstar (to complement the Church Block wine consumed earlier), ABBA - Money, Money, Money (to help pay for catering). Ryan Keating - When you say nothing at all (this may be best kept for when the guests have retired and the lights have been dimmed).

After dessert, we adjourn outdoors as the sun is setting. My partner’s lips and cheeks capture the light, glowing respectively deep red and pink as if enriched by the Sun itself. We sip on sherry also full with colour, a perfect match.

Light banter ensues, as if to balance the weight of our stomach now so stretched. After some time the moon has arisen from the east, awaken by a mysterious force. Now well along its journey to renewal it lights the sky, waning from peak it remains generous.

As we stand to view it above the distant trees the moonlight strikes the face of my new love. I am captured by the beauty before me, her features bathed in light so white and pure, an angel descended from the cosmos to share this moment with me.

With time frozen, a gentle breeze newly present captures her flowing hair and spreads it broadly. Millions of strands far too many to count, each one capturing the light in its unique way. All the colours of the rainbow formerly joined in the moons white light have been scattered, as if by tiny prisms on each hair. With each rainbow strand hovering in time and space it was at this moment I knew it will be, I for her and she for me.

Dear friends, the ending of this evening is for each of you to imagine in your own way, for me perhaps best unspoken as is my way.

I hope you have enjoyed your virtual dinner at willows.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 10:15 PM

clumsines is a bad thing, isn't it ... I would never do anything like that twoeyes!

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 10:13 PM

Ive seen apples that look like breasts...........or is that the other way around.......i forget

Posted by: twoeyes at January 27, 2008 10:13 PM

Hey two eyes, look out Ninaschen is on to us.

Posted by: stratus65 at January 27, 2008 10:13 PM

does anyone know where jenjen is ... I would love a glass of red if possible please

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 10:12 PM

I didn't know apples had breasts...what an educational meal! Another glass of wine, thanks, but white now...how about the suggested NZ Sav Blanc?

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 10:12 PM

if she hacks up a fur ball then she will get put outside for the night..............

cant stand it when things get spilt on my carpet......................

Posted by: twoeyes at January 27, 2008 10:12 PM

cough, cough, splutter, splutter !!

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 10:11 PM

Why are we in need of tissues? Are we not getting dessert after all?

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 27, 2008 10:11 PM

I am so sorry for being late willow but I did not want to dissapoint by not turning up in pjs. I sincerely hope my tardiness will not be held against me.

Happy to help out in the kitchen to make up for my lateness

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 10:09 PM

Lots of company for you now then, Stratus. You seem like such a nice young man, so a little word of advice, stay away from TwoEyes He can be a bad influence. I can't take my eyes off him for a minute - TwoEyes - NO - put Kitten down - if she hacks up a fur-ball, you only have yourself to blame.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 27, 2008 10:09 PM

Dessert is being cooked now, will serve at 9:45 Adelaide, 10:15 VIC & NSW 9:15 QLD?

Dessert is Breast of apple pie with peachy delights.

In the invites earlier this week, I did warn you a tear or two hundred may be seen. Please get your tissues ready.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 10:08 PM

What about:
Bottle of wine, fruit of the vine,

When you gonna let me get sober

Leave me alone let me go home
'

When you gonna let me start over . . ..

That one could be for later in the evening too.

Please Willow, just keep playing Summer Wine for now . . .

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 27, 2008 10:08 PM

NINA I AM ONLY RECENTLY A VICTORIAN. I AM A KIWI................

Posted by: twoeyes at January 27, 2008 10:03 PM

Help, my guest artist Meat Loaf walked out before dinner was finished.

Because we are taking longer than expected to finish the main course (because many guests were late) his set is over. I asked him to perform another set but apparently he does not do seconds, something about being burnt in the past.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 10:03 PM

I can't remember what Willow promised us for dessert...

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 10:01 PM

Stratus,lucky you made it back from the maldives in time for tonights soiree..... could be worse you could still there on your own

Posted by: dolphin46 at January 27, 2008 10:01 PM

RED RED WINE GOES TO MY HEAD, MAKES FORGET THAT I , STILL NEED A SONG..........

Posted by: twoeyes at January 27, 2008 10:01 PM

And oldie: 'Hey Brother, Pour the Wine'...hated it then and still do!
Willow, I already complimented you on the food, and as to the topic of conversation, umm maybe another is needed?

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 10:00 PM

By the way if the profiteroles with patissiere cream and spun sugar, dipped in Belgin chocolate are available, I have one please ... thanks!

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 10:00 PM

willow: are you still cooking desert? might pop in for a peek if that is okay?

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 9:58 PM

Oh, TwoEyes, have you forgotten all I have tried to teach you? Please leave the room if you must emit wind (yes, BOTH types). You must pardon him fellow guests, he is an uncouth Victorian.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 27, 2008 9:58 PM

jenjen, can i have a mudslide next please. Willow how is my bath coming along? Also didn't i ask for cheesecake as dessert???Steak was perfect thanks

Posted by: dolphin46 at January 27, 2008 9:58 PM

And you have to recite at least one verse of each.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 27, 2008 9:57 PM

db2. Neil Diamond's Red Red Wine would be a good choice for later. Summer wine I will put on now for you since Meat Loaf is on strike.

Is anyone eating or are your lips stuck to the glass. No wonder the conception subject is getting nowhere. I can feel hangovers coming for my guests.

Sorry, no beer.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 9:57 PM

Oops, me too Stratus, just posted twice. I have a challenge. Who can think of the most songs that refer to, or mention wine?

Come on start googling...!!!

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 27, 2008 9:56 PM

way too late nina.............is it time for the table top dancing yet. and by the way where are the dancing girls that were advertised?????????????

Posted by: twoeyes at January 27, 2008 9:56 PM

Hi Nina, I don't know where everybody went, I have been stuck up in the Maldives without any materials, or esky. And no company.

Posted by: stratus65 at January 27, 2008 9:55 PM

ok no time for chatting point me in the way of the dessert table.

hope theres some profiteroles with patissiere cream and spun sugar, dipped in Belgin chocolate????????????

Posted by: twoeyes at January 27, 2008 9:54 PM

Now this is more like it! A far better balanced guest list. Hello, Stratus, we haven't seen you for a while.
Did you miss the last boat from the Maldives? TwoEyes - I'm sure Willow could use your help in the kitchen but I suggest you both stay sober until after the mains is served.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 27, 2008 9:53 PM

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 9:37 PM

Hopefully you have indoor garden beds because the mossie love me, especially the voluptuous bit's.

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 9:52 PM

I think the wine is starting to take effect, I'm starting to muck up my words already

Posted by: stratus65 at January 27, 2008 9:51 PM

Here you go Willow-- a large glass of the very best, driest, most ruby red and bitter dark wine, with a pleasing finish of ripe rasperry and cherry (and an angel's kiss in spring--my summer wine was really made for all these things . . . . . .take off your silver spurs and, . . .help me pass the time . . .oh,,,,oh,, summer wine. Dont you just love that song).

And one for you lamuse--it's great to know you have been here and love Margaret River wines.

Jenjen, I would love a very dry martini, stirred, not shaken, with a dry black olive on a stick.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 27, 2008 9:51 PM

Food is in abundance since some do not know it was served a very long time ago at 8:18PM.

Wishful, stratus, twoeyes, all others hurry up to get your serve, dessert is not far away.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 9:51 PM

maybe a scintillating little white instead of a beer............NZ sav blanc perhaps?????????????

Posted by: twoeyes at January 27, 2008 9:51 PM

Lovely combination of flavours, and stunning presentation Willow. Glad to see you attired and I guess the cooking image will remain my fantasy.

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 9:50 PM

Hi willow, nice setup you got going, don't worry about food more me, I already ate, just point me in the direction where you keep your coonawarra reds, then I might be ready to join in the discussion effectively.

Posted by: stratus65 at January 27, 2008 9:49 PM

got any beer.....BUUUUUUUUURRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

oopps sorry gas....

Posted by: twoeyes at January 27, 2008 9:49 PM

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 9:36 PM

Lol! Yes may be we should go together and check out whether willow is a sight to be hold in the kitchen.

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 9:48 PM

Yay, 2 more males, stratus and twoeyes. Willow do you have enough food? Am getting bit peckish

Posted by: dolphin46 at January 27, 2008 9:46 PM

MsTingle the wine seller is a fine man, you would like him. He lives underground, do not know about escourted tours.

kitten I cooked mostly naked, you missed it bacause you were late.

dolphin the bath is all yours, plain or scented salt, perhaps sea salt for you.

Are you all enjoying the main course, not much conversation "Is pregnancy an effective barrier to conception" too hard a topic to swallow.

Hello stratus, nice of you to join us.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 9:46 PM

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 9:31 PM

All you have to do is ask what is in my bag, though I suppose it is more fun while people do not know!

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 9:43 PM

Is it way too late or bad form to join this soirée??????????

I have already cooked today and could do with someone else cooking for me.....

Posted by: twoeyes at January 27, 2008 9:43 PM

He must be putting on his clothes to sit at table. Nice outfitting, too Willow

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 9:42 PM

Willow, are you changing the music? Something mellow now please..

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 9:39 PM

How's the cooking coming along Willow - a girl could die of starvation at this rate!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 27, 2008 9:38 PM

db2, would love one very large glass please.

jenjen, all are welcome to sleep over.

I have just consulted with my gardener. He has advised I have many spare beds, they are vey soft and fragrant. Would you prefer petunia, daisy or some other?

Back in a moment, Meat Loaf wishes to talk to me privately.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 9:37 PM

Just popping into the kitchen ... do you really think willow is naked??????

must find out ....

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 9:35 PM

I hope so...hate to have a good fantasy ruined.

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 9:36 PM

Willow, do you have a big fish tank if i have to sleep over? Filter not needed, just a hand full of salt in bath will do.....

Posted by: dolphin46 at January 27, 2008 9:35 PM

just popping into the kitchen ... do you really think willow is naked??????

must find out ....

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 9:35 PM

Hey dolphin46, love the LBD, you look absolutely gorgeous tonight ... where did you get the matching bag?

thanks jenjen for the drink, fingers still attached but wont go into what was in the bag!

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 9:34 PM

DB2, I lived in WA for years and know it well...Margaret River wine is the best.
I would love a glass.

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 9:34 PM

Thanks for the welcome wishful, yes it has been a little while. Thought that willow might need a hand.

Posted by: stratus65 at January 27, 2008 9:33 PM

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 9:20 PM

Good you have arrived! what SA wine would you like. I must say Willow has a might fine wine cellar, I must get him to give us a tour of his wine cellar. Willow or is the wine cellar only shown to one person at a time?

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 9:33 PM

Thanks willow and ninaschen, it has taken me an hour and a half to communicate with you. And I would love to join you.

Lamuse: Dolphin said in an earlier post that he liked blue cocktails (or drinks or whatever), so I thought I would offer him Bombay Blue (or maybe it's called Bombay fire or something) anyway it is a beautiful, Indian Ocean type of blue, which only Indians and perhaps Western Australians and others of the Far West could appreciate.

Anyway, I have brought a few bottlews of Margaret River
Cabernet Sauvignon, which would compliment the fillet very well. Would anyone like a glass?

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 27, 2008 9:32 PM

Finished playing with mstingles leopard skin bag kitten ? Do hope you still have all your fingers !
Goodness knows what is in it, she wont say.
One Mudslide coming up for you , and another Blue Lagoon for Dolphin......looks like we will all have to sleep over at this rate :)

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 9:31 PM

db2, I did get very confused with the guest list, ask nina she knows how bad I was.

Please join us, I cooked extra. Main course is still being consumed so you have not missed anything.

The bacon serves as the straight jacket around the beef, yours is not needed. Hang on, yes it is. I just realised you have nothing else on. Is this form of dress common interstate?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 9:30 PM

I think some SA wine thanks jenjen

Posted by: stratus65 at January 27, 2008 9:29 PM

Do we get to order how we want our steak cooked?

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 9:29 PM

Nina, my fingers back in pocket.Jenjen blue lagoon yummy..... hic hic may i have another even tho 2 is my limit and the night is but young.

Posted by: dolphin46 at January 27, 2008 9:28 PM

Good evening stratus........look girls, some more male company !
Cocktail stratus ? Or some nice SA wine ?

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 9:28 PM

Welcome to the dinner party Mr. Stratus, nice to see you - it's been a while. Pull up a chair, grab a drink and enjoy the company. Willow could certainly use some male reinforcements - or perhaps he prefers his harem....oh well...make yourself at home :)

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 27, 2008 9:28 PM

jenjen: can I please have a mudslide ... thanks ....

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 9:27 PM

One Mudslide coming right up wishful ....enjoy :)
Cocktail for you DB2 ?........and you are not too late.........Nina is just passing around the hors d'oeuvres.

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 9:26 PM

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 27, 2008 9:21 PM

Well that explains why I couldn't find what you were talking about. BTW what happened when you told your 2 lovers about one another? Everything still cool? Or was one of them not cool? Anyway, could make good dinner conversation..am still watching the tennis out of one eye.

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 9:25 PM

Evening all, saw your light on, thought I'd drop in and say g'day

Posted by: stratus65 at January 27, 2008 9:24 PM

willow: just getting acquainted with the leopard and the cats ... will be in soon

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 9:24 PM

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 9:06 PM

Yes the joy and fine wine is dandy but your hospitality is rather might fine!

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 9:22 PM

Earlier Willow, I logged on and requested that I attend your dinner party. But the RSVp thought police have refused to reveal all of my previous posts, and so I'm now too late and have missed the huge stack of beef that you have so generously offered.
I was going to come in a straight jacket and nothing else. What is everyone actually wearing now--did you all stay with your first choice?

The conversation should get really great at about the breast ......... stage. Did anyone read that.....?

Well, I havent seen mine for years--tonight I hope to do a Harry Houdini and escape. Otherwise it's only peaches for me.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 27, 2008 9:21 PM

Hey Jen, while you are whipping up cocktail delights, can you toss a mudslide my way - I think I may just need it tonight :)

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 27, 2008 9:21 PM

Posted by: dolphin46 at January 27, 2008 8:54 PM

Ditto Dophin nice to see you here too!

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 9:19 PM

jenjen, mudslide sounds great, very me.

After Meat Loaf had finished singing Bat out of Hell I asked him whether he was hungry, looking disturbed he said he was not. I enquired why he was looking so off. He replied that he had made a meal of the last song.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 9:18 PM

MsTingle the seating arrangements are in disarray due to the ever increasing guest list - the more the merrier and I'm glad you could make it DB2. I suggest everyone grab the nearest chair and to hell with protocol.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 27, 2008 9:18 PM

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 8:53 PM

Well hopefully it is quieter in your bed room and kitten becareful do not put your fingers in my bag on the bed!

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 9:17 PM

Cream dolphin ? Will just fetch it from the kitchen.
Good evening wishful and kitten.......cocktail ? Or a glass of wine ?

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 9:14 PM

hello db2, are you joining us?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 9:12 PM

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 8:18 PM

Wine, main, music absolutely delightful!

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 9:11 PM

Willow some extra veges would be lovely thank you.......no dead cow for me :)
Pumpkin, beans, mash and asparagus........yummmmmm
And because you are doing such a fabulous job with the food I shall whip you up a special cocktail also.
One Mudslide coming right up.......coffee liquer, vodka, cream, Baileys and chocolate syrup. Very delish :)

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 9:11 PM

Blue lagoon sounds lovely,can i have a dash of cream too please. Glad to see you found the frogs kitten.

Posted by: dolphin46 at January 27, 2008 9:08 PM

Save the steak for me! I am still delayed watching tennis...and missing the sight of bare derrierre cooking dinner too! Dang.

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 9:07 PM

hi kitten, please see my post at 8:53PM for actions needed before you are seated.

MsTingle, of course the poem is mine. All work you see is original, ask my urologist.

I bet the joy and fine wine line is your favourite.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 9:06 PM

Good to see you Kitten....poor Willow was getting anxious that you'd not make an appearance! Got those wicked PJ's?

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 27, 2008 9:06 PM

Dolphin, a blue cocktail for you it is then........
How about a nice Blue Lagoon? Not on the list but I can easily whip it up for you.........some blue curacao with vodka and lemonade.
Perfect :)

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 9:05 PM

Posted by: ninaschen at January 27, 2008 8:03 PM

And who am I seated between! Silly question I have been here for over 30 mins but I suppose being in a fluster i probably have been blinded by settling my self.

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 9:04 PM

sorry I am late ... did you save me a seat?

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 9:01 PM

Jenjen, I am sorry. Can I serve you extra veg, I'll keep the steak for one of the boys tomorrow.

Would you choose a cocktail for me please, I am a little busy to read the list at present. Can I have wine and cocktail, both should lighten up the tongue for later (conversation).

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 8:59 PM

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 8:00 PM

Beautiful poem!

Is it yours?

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 8:58 PM

Jenjen, yes please to a cocktail. Surprise me with the choice, tho blue is my favourite color.

Posted by: dolphin46 at January 27, 2008 8:55 PM

Dolphin - Keep those fingers for the moment! How else will you type? I have others that will do just as well, nobody cares about a little freezer-burn, do they?

But of course JenJen! Vegetarian is a specialty. The vegetarians outweigh the carnivores in my family.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 27, 2008 8:55 PM

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 7:49 PM

Thats okay Willow we can all but try. At any rate Willow I believe that you have ended up with great company for the evening and that is all that counts!

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 8:54 PM

Wishful and mstingle,so glad you made it.Willow can't say shark appeals to my delicate taste buds, but have had tasty minnows and the occasional sea lice pate. Kitten won't be much longer, just needs to find the iron now.

Posted by: dolphin46 at January 27, 2008 8:54 PM

mstingle, can you leave your leopard spotted bag on my waterbed please.

My leopard sheets have been crying out for some company, when the mice are away the cats will play. Kitten, when you arrive would you like to say hello to MsTingles bag and my sheets. Take your time.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 8:53 PM

mstingle.........yes those Jager Bombs really are very good........but take it easy or they will knock your feather boa right off :)

Cocktail for anyone else.....no not for you just yet Willow or we will never eat........perhaps some wine instead ?

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 8:52 PM

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 27, 2008 7:45 PM

Ha,ha! "I said build it they will come" Hasn't anyone seen the movie 'Field of Dreams'?

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 8:50 PM

dolphin, of course your steak can be served medium. Really, it is the only way for a fish. Do you eat shark?

nina, yes I have neglected to mention I suffer from the procrastinate disease. My urologist earlier this week told me the early stages of an enlarged prostrate can cause this.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 8:48 PM

Well, I am fashionably late, and might need a couple of drinks in order to get in the mood to moderate....someone pass me a nice drop of wine please.

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 27, 2008 8:46 PM

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 7:38 PM

Oh darling you are a god send with the cocktail list.... Sex on the beach sounds good but maybe I better have a few Jager bombers first:)

Sorry Willow, naughty girl I am thinking of drinks before I say hello to the host, kiss, kiss....

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 8:45 PM

Now stop it: I am talking to the contents of my leopard spotted bag!

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 8:41 PM

Willow, no offence taken. If i had legs would also offer them to tide over hungry hordes. Will keep fingers intact for the moment.Also applaud the choice of music.Would it be to rude to request my portion of steak to be cooked medium, tedious i know but it really is the only way I like it.

Posted by: dolphin46 at January 27, 2008 8:41 PM

Conversation will be light and airy, subject “Is pregnancy an effective barrier to conception”. This should be a perfect lead into our main subject later in the evening.
Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 8:18 PM

Fortunately not :) or we wouldnt be having our lovely little dinner !
Just cant wait for the after dinner conversation !!

Got any tasty vego hors d'oeuvres there Nina ??

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 8:41 PM

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 7:38 PM

Oops! sorry didn't see that last step, sorry I am late! I hope Today122, arrived safely after said that she could come with me but I got detained.

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 8:40 PM

Umm...just calling by to say I will be late as am watching the tennis..great match!

later!

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 8:38 PM

dolphin, thanks for the offer of your fish fingers. Are you sure you do not need them for swimming or for neurotic fish to attach to?

Perhaps another much later time when you are a little less mobile and their loss would not be so tragic.

Please do not be offended, I know others would give an arm and a leg for such an offer. At present, I do not know why they would give the leg as well!

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 8:35 PM

Well, just as well I arrived on time, it seems ISTJ may be a little late. I will pass around the hors d'oeuvres that I whipped up once I realised you were feeding a multitude. Please, don't thank me. It is my pleasure. I also have a nice little Monkey Bay Sauvignon Blanc that I had bought to compliment the frogs' legs (which, I believe, are now off the menu). Really, Willow, you may need to work on being more decisive. Your charm is considerable but it may wear thin if you continue to procrastinate.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 27, 2008 8:29 PM

Evening all, sorry willow, slight problem with kittens frog pj's.... can't find them. We won't be long, quick look in laundry,then quick going over with iron.I have opted for LBD to save time. 1000 apologies, I am sure she is not too far away. Dinner divine, Nina happy to sit where ever you decide. Willow I have fish fingers if that helps. Regards Dolphin

Posted by: dolphin46 at January 27, 2008 8:24 PM

Part 3 of the trilogy Relationship Matters “In the Kitchen, dinner with dessert” continued.

Main Course: Tower de la fillet asparée

Having mastered the use of the gas cook top and pepper cracker in Part 2 of the trilogy Relationship Matters – In the Kitchen, I stand naked (as instructed) wearing only protective head gear and apron. Unfortunately the kilt had a wardrobe malfunction after being caught on my hanger (it was very hard to remove) so it will not be appearing. With tongs in hand I am ready to tame the wild beast upon which we shall feast.

Once cooked, I dress ready to be seated. Black denim pants slightly stone washed, just a hint of taper in the legs. White long sleeve shirt with thin black pin stripes, sleeves rolled up two cuff lengths, front buttons hidden under thin sleeve. Black shoes and socks with small square motifs to match the square mash base for the main course. Hair hand brushed on top very slightly forward, waxed to look wind blown as the evening will finish outdoors.

Music by Meat Loaf, Bat Out of Hell Album

Wine is Church Block from McLaren Vale in the S.A. southern vales, well priced at $23 per bottle. A cabernet sauvignon – shiraz - merlot blend, slightly fruity, restrained, one of SA’s finest, a divine drop.

Conversation will be light and airy, subject “Is pregnancy an effective barrier to conception”. This should be a perfect lead into our main subject later in the evening.

Steamed circular butter pumpkin which represents the setting sun shall be placed at the upper right of the plate.

Whole cooked green beans form the earthly base of the castle, to be placed stacked long axis along the centre bottom of the plate in two rows each four high making eight in total.

Mash shaped into a square with twelve centimetre sides forms the floor of the castle, after cooking add a small amount of sea salt, freshly cracked pepper, butter and parmesan cheese then whip to a smooth, very firm texture just barely moist. Top with a sprinkle of parsley after serving. Be careful not to over moisten as the mash will not be able to support the weight of the fillet and castle roof. The sauce and meat juices will balance the touch of dryness.

Asparagus spears are the trees in the oasis and roof support for the castle, briefly microwave the spears until the fresh hardness is removed but they remain firm and can withstand more than their own weight. Place one spear tip upright in the four corners of the mash base. At the base of each spear place two champignons with stems removed, these represent the root system of each tree, the giver of life and nourishment.

The fillet mignon has been prepared by sitting 15 minutes each side to a depth of two to three millimetres in a mixture comprising one third balsamic vinegar, one third worcestershire sauce and one third extra virgin olive oil.

Cook the two inch thick fillet steak on very high three minutes per side then low to medium for six to nine minutes until bacon case has firmed. Stand in a warmed oven for three minutes. Place the fillet complete with bacon sleeve centrally on the mash base. Dress with Dianne sauce to which sour cream has been added. Place the meat on base at the last minute to allow just enough time for the meat juices to start filtering into the base but no so long the meat cools.

Complete the castle by placing puff pastry cut into 15cm to 20cm squares, light golden colour on top of the four asparagus spears, the pastry forms the roof of the Castle.

Chew thoroughly and slowly, fillet steak is very tender, allow time for the various flavours from beast, bacon, sauce and veg to mix in your mouth and diffuse into your taste buds.

I hope you enjoy this, dessert follows shortly. Try to form a mental image of how all this fits together on the plate, it is in keeping with the subjects under discussion this evening.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 8:18 PM

RSVP Please let me go to the dinner party. seriously.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 27, 2008 8:17 PM

Neuroticfish, I thought your seductive dinnner was excellent (see singles in the kitchen). Why don't you join the dinner party too?
And you could bring
Bananas Foster for those of us who cannot produce apples and peaches on demand.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 27, 2008 8:15 PM

nina I apologise. I regret that I do fail with multi-tasking so I became confused about who was doing the seating.

The problem arose when I decided to do both main course and dessert. This was one thing too many.

Must go, time to serve main course so just one thing at a time.

Thank you for the finger food suggestion, but personally I am quite attached to mine. Do you have any spare fingers you can serve.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 8:14 PM

Willow, can come to the party too? If there are no seats left I will simply mingle, or may be help with the serving (I nearly wrote servicing). I will be wearing nothing else but a straight jacket--so cannot participate in the apple pie part of the desert, but will be fine with the peachy bit. unless i manage to get the straight jacket off--have been trying for 15 years. oh well tonight could be the night.

db2

btw--i have written a previous post, but rsvp are still approving it, as they will be this one.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 27, 2008 8:08 PM

As is the done thing, I was to be 10 fashionable minutes late but, Willow, what have you sprung on me? I thought ISTJ was taking care of the seating and now I see you have assigned the job to me. I'm sure ISTJ has given the seating much thought but you keep throwing more and more people into the mix. Do you have enough dining chairs and a table large enough to cope? At last count I think we have 12. Perhaps finger food may be sensible. Frogs legs may be delicately nibbled while held between the thumb and forefinger. No chair required.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 27, 2008 8:03 PM

guppies.com:

Everyone is interested in your ageism--I am wondering why you are sexist first. The way you have objectified women as something that revolves around a
BED (from being a DAUGHTER to a wrinkled old bit of garbage) smacks of someone who really should be sent packing.

What probably annoys me the most, however, is your inability understand the difference between the words woman and women.

Willow, can i come to your party too-- it is 3 minutes to 6 here, which means . . . .what time in Adelaide??
You all know me now, warts and all, and i'm really quite happy and even funny when I'm not shat off. (laughing)

I am going to wear a straight jacket with nothing underneath.

db2

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 27, 2008 8:02 PM

From willow, Part 3 - Relationship Matters “In the Kitchen, dinner with dessert” is being served. It will be delivered in three posts (including this one) due to its size.

The menu is:
Entrée, nil. The main course and desert demand an empty stomach

Main, Tower de la fillet asparée

Dessert, Breast of apple pie with peachy delights

Wine, Church Block (I will need God’s blessing)

After dinner, Sherry (kitten, did you choose?)

As advised the subject of our conversation will be “Is the way to a woman’s heart most direct through her eyes, ears or lips”. This matter may, in the minds of some have already been decided. Wishful will be moderator.

Happy dining, I hope all are suitably dressed. For the ladies dress should be seductive but not overt, for gentlemen stylish, open neck, enclosed footwear and yes pants are required including the chef who will need them before being seated. Did you remember to floss your teeth, bring your smile; unwanted toothy guests are not invited. Web cams are being used to ensure all guests are suitably attired.

Again, the theme is set by my poem:

I have a table that can seat eight
A feast upon which we dine
But only one can be my date
Accompanied by joy and fine wine

The main course will be served shortly.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 8:00 PM

Jenjen, I have just seen the cocktail list. Scrub the B&C, any one will do.

MsT, I have tried many times to get the boys to come. it is all just too hard so I have given up.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 7:49 PM

SLIGHTSYN: You were right, and so is LAMUSE, and the others are too.

Age shouldn't matter much at all, unless you care too much about "what the neighbours think". Or listen to families, peers, and/or the town gossip.

Two of my mother's brothers married women 16 years younger and kept them busy. But very much later, the 2 wives were both widows for over 25 years.

"Stage" is what I think matters, not age, and again, you're right. Lamuse will look and be dangerous for another 15 or 20 years, and I'm hoping for at least ten years to save up for a large supply of the blue pills for 'Ron.

In a nut-shell: if time has warped you younger, rejoice, and mix with the younger people who are obviously at your stage. And if it's warped you older, seek friends who match your apparent age. "Birds of a feather."

But whatever your age and your stage are, go for it, because the journey is fun, even if you never arrive at Nirvana.

After a hundred dates during 2 years in RSVP, and not as many from answering about 300 newspaper personals in the late 1990s, I believe that no-one should ever expect to meet Ms or Mr Exactly-Right.

Sorry to disappoint you, but that's Mills and Boonland. I'm looking for Ms Right-Enuff who thinks I'm Mr right-Enuff, and when we both find one another, bells will ring in both our heads pretty soon.

And we'll be so happy that we're a good enough fit for one another's dreams, that we'll carefully overlook the small shortfalls.

CYBER-DINNER: Thank you so much for the belated invite, girls. Several problems:

1) Got 50 shirts (that fit) and 30 ties, but no suit since I grew out of my dead uncle's, twenty-odd years ago. Rented one for the day in 1994 to give my daughter away.

Have a nice squattocracy Donegal tweed sports coat I wear instead - $35 from Vinnies 4 years ago, after my Harris tweed was stolen from broken-window car.

2) Prior engagement. Must zoom off this very minute to take my friend some tiny chilled lemonades (she's gone off white grapes), and then on to tennis till 11pm, Adelaide time.

Looks like she'll be home on Wed, and then she'll be dangerously overjoyed.

Enjoy the harem dinner, in my absence. Willow will cope. And MsTingle was right - "If you cook it, they will come." Or something like that. Look at the roll-up!

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 27, 2008 7:45 PM

Nice one Jenjen, no snails on menu.

A very funny tale indeed, you have set the purrfect mood for pre dinner drinks. Perhaps kitten can serve these when she arrives.

Brandy and coke please on the rocks.

PS Is this why some women describe their ex partners as slime?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 7:41 PM

Cocktail list..........

Grateful Dead
Vodka, Rum, Tequila, Gin, Chambord rasberry liqueur

Orgasm
Vodka, amaretto, triple sec, white creme de cacao, light cream

Jager Bomb (my personal favourite )
A shot of jager and a 1/2 can of red bull

Mud Slide
Vodka, irish cream, kahlua, milk

Fuzzy Navel (should go nicely with Willows dessert)
Vodka, peach schnaps, & orange juice

Pearl Harbor
Vodka, midori, pineapple juice

BubbleGum
Vodka, banana liqeur, orange juice, peach schnapps.

Sex on the Beach
Vodka, Peach Schnapps, Cranberry Juice, Pineapple Juice

And no driving home anyone :)

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 7:38 PM

Posted by: today122 at January 27, 2008 7:22 PM

Gee you crack me up! I nearly choked on my Bundy!

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 7:37 PM

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 27, 2008 7:15 PM

Come on Woodnwine and Notgodsgift and Ima if you can break out of where ever you are. Come on fella's the ladies I am sure, as well as I would apprecite your company. Willow! encourage them to come!

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 7:34 PM

Who is collecting the snails ?

A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails , he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me?" He went back to gathering the snails. All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They started talking and she invited him back to her place. They ended up spending the night together. At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no!!! My wife's dinner party!!!" He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he's been all this time. He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said, "Come on guys, we're almost there!!"

He he............

No snails on the menu are there Willow ?

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 7:31 PM

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 12:53 PM

Yes I get post from a number of men younger than I am looking for. Which goes to show as you and ssc are saying which is fact that women past a certian age really have it where the sex count indicates that sex gets better with the progressing age of the woman. In most cases.

Some fall short due to certain reasons either due to medical reasons or societies expectations.

I for one am looknig forward to the best sex that I have ever contributed towards.

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 7:28 PM

mstingle - and the feather boa? Remember how gorgeous you looked, darling, when you wore that last time.

Posted by: today122 at January 27, 2008 7:22 PM

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 27, 2008 12:41 PM

I admire you for you having someone sketch your self on Maslins Beach how cool and liberating.

It is funny isn't it some of us won't when we were younger and now wish that maybe we had, have done so.

Any way with the right person one day I wouldn't mind at the right time and place frolicing naked in the most beautful locations.

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 7:22 PM

mstingle that outfit sounds divine !Think I may join dolphin and kittens PJ parade.
But which ones to choose ? ......I had best hurry, the dinner party will start soon :)

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 7:18 PM

Poor grammar, hope you bloggers will get over it....getting carried away thinking of the recipes etc

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 27, 2008 7:16 PM

Good to see dress is being taken care off. Dinner is coming, do not be late.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 7:16 PM

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 12:56 PM

Willow, I will look forward to my slice of virtual pie. Enjoy your cybermeal everyone...hope you wear a suit and tie, timewarp1. Are all the other males busy?
NF is probably busy testing recipes...have you ran out now? as I have them ALL copied and pasted plus twoeyes' yummy instructions too, and samanthabrits too!!!!!! Shame I have no time to cook creme brulee's etc. Happy blogging : )))

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 27, 2008 7:15 PM

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 11:52 AM

Yeah! now we are talking adding some more quality people, if Jenjen can't make us laugh somethings wrong!

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 7:13 PM

Posted by: today122 at January 27, 2008 11:48 AM

You may not have been invited! Hell honey you can come with me and my leopard spotted bag.

Mind every one my bag may bite, enquire if you wish why?

I will be in a long black flowing gown that is in layers. First layer being satin with shoe string staps and splits up the sides, with a balck see through billowing over garment that had double capped sleeves over the shoulders and sliver stilleto's with black feather stap over the front of the feet, toes peeping through and black stocking.

I thought I would go with a look of somewhere between being elegantly dress like some ladies that are attending in evening dress and kittens PJ's.

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 7:07 PM

Oh! not forgetting Willow is chef so Timewarp1, you will have to get instructions from him as you go along:)

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 6:57 PM

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 27, 2008 11:32 AM

Good on you!

By the way have you recieved an invitation to tonights dinner at 8pm RSVP time.

Wheni it was first discussed one of one of the gorgeous females that we have on the blog mentioned several people that would be attending.

I posted "I didn't know that I was coming, unless it is a pleasant surprise to me". My mind had been on other things.

Then I cottoned on it was a virtual dinner party.

Willow is host and kindly reminded me about his post about the dinner.

As fat as I know he is the only male attendeding Timewarp1.

Logon at 8pm to join in the fun and give willow a hand in the kitchen.

I have visitors here so I will pop in and out:)

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 6:55 PM

Posted by: gopiesdotcom at January 27, 2008 11:28 AM

Obviously by someone with little life experience, especailly sexual!

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 6:48 PM

Just popped in to check time for feast,excellent time enough to prepare myself. Was considering wearing zebra pj's to keep kitten company and relieve pressure on chef. Is this acceptable attire? Do not want to offend such illustrious company.See you all at 8pm sharp............... will bring both outfits just in case :)

Posted by: dolphin46 at January 27, 2008 6:33 PM

SS, I will save you dessert. I think this is what you would most enjoy.

Dessert is Breast of Apple Pie with Peachy delights.

Very Maslin's in flavour if you think about it a little.

Sorry you will miss dinner, perhaps you can visit the transcripts after to get a sense of the night. Enjoy your evening.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 12:56 PM

People are not all the same at a certain age as you must now. Some peoples physical age is a lot younger and you can have that tested. It would depend on a lot of variables in an individual person. I have met in work circles a few men who at 65 were very vital seeming and looked in their 50's. Of course they had partners and I was 6 or so years younger. If one of them were single I probably would have considered it. At least quite a few younger men seem to like women in their 40's past 48. I will be 45 this year and I am not past it.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 27, 2008 12:23 PM

Just wanted to say that I get contacted by much younger men, and last 2 lovers were 20 years younger than me...many men really go for much older women, just don't talk about it due to ageism issues in our culture, which are illustrated in some of the blog entries. These young (well young to me) men are not partnership material, but they still find us most desirable.

Posted by: lamuse at January 27, 2008 12:53 PM

timewarp...I meant
timeout from relationships gives us all time to get to know ourselves better...

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 27, 2008 12:43 PM

Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 26, 2008 11:59 PM

Maslins: ha ha, yes SS it is lovely. Went once only topless actually as i am soooooooo shy but it was not really my cup of tea due to the other beachgoers at the time. (Long story)If a person went more often it would be better I am sure. The clad part of Maslins is lovely too though.

Thats lovely then that you have a drawing of you there then SS.

youPosted by: timewarp1 at January 27, 2008 3:50 AM

timewarp1

It must be a trying timefor you as your friend is dying. Plus earning to earn a living as well as looking for Ms Right Enuff. Settling is something I will not do but I have examined if my desired attributes in a prospective partner are unrealistic. I don't think so and am not looking for perfection. It has to be right for me too. Have had guys really fall for me but I was not into them as much and that is not fair. Also I have liked a few guys who were not into me...just hope something clicks one day and time out gives us time to get to know each other. You have had experience of women of a youngish age seeming old and vice-versa haven't you and have posted about it previously.

Willow et al, save me some leftovers...ha ha

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 27, 2008 12:41 PM

today, it is OK urologist issues all sorted out now. See my post 24 Jan 6:43PM and subsequent.

In a nutshell, it was just a wee little problem and I am greatly relieved. I was ready to ball my eyes out with the pain, in the end all were flushed down the drain.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 12:38 PM

um - thanks for telling us about the urologist - much appreciated.

Posted by: today122 at January 27, 2008 12:29 PM

SSC - I emailed the powers that be about the log in stuff. And was told - of course, of course, that it was either my internet set up, or my line, or something similar. Easy for them.
Sometimes I have problems, sometimes not.

Posted by: today122 at January 27, 2008 12:28 PM

Please leave Corey at home, right mood but wrong party.

In any case what would he know about love, he keeps looking at the world through those yellow framed rose coloured glasses.

The glasses would have very useful for my cousin Dick at Maslins and after I visited my urologist during the week.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 12:27 PM

SSC - do you have a garden watering day there??
moan groan. We haven't been able to use hoses for over a year. Having trouble seeing out my car windows at the moment, but that maybe just be because I'm slack mmm

Posted by: today122 at January 27, 2008 12:27 PM

Willow, hope it goes well tonight and I would have invited myself but have other plans. Sounds interesting.

Why do I have to log in 8 or so times...is it a system where a few are let on with out difficulty and others have to log in repeatedly? RSVP could fix this....

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 27, 2008 12:25 PM

thank you kind sir.
the time for us banana benders will be 7pm. A good Sunday night dinner time I reckon.

Posted by: today122 at January 27, 2008 12:25 PM

Posted by: gopiesdotcom at January 27, 2008 11:28 AM

At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.

At age 44, I would tell my partner (if I had one) a damn fine bedtime story - in bed actually.

You know I try to simply read the blog with out logging in, just like now. People are not all the same at a certain age as you must now. Some peoples physical age is a lot younger and you can have that tested. It would depend on a lot of variables in an individual person. I have met in work circles a few men who at 65 were very vital seeming and looked in their 50's. Of course they had partners and I was 6 or so years younger. If one of them were single I probably would have considered it. At least quite a few younger men seem to like women in their 40's past 48. I will be 45 this year and I am not past it.

I respect your right to post your opinion of course GDC :))

Oh and here I was just thinking about hanging out washing and watering my dry garden. Sunday is garden watering day here.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 27, 2008 12:23 PM

today, jenjen you are welcome. See you tonight at 8PM AEST.

I had great difficulty in working out what time to serve dinner as all you guys live on the eastern side of Aus. My Intel 100MIPS calculator assisted by confiming 7.30PM Adelaide CSDST time is 8PM for you.

Most that are coming were self-invited. I hope nina is OK with this, she was taking care of seating.

Please remember suitable dress is required for all except kitten. I am very keen about getting to know her French PJ's. I have been told the PJ's are covered in green frogs or were the PJ's green or was it the fogs were covered in her PJ's, if so why?

Rumour says they (the frogs) are dying to jump out of the fire into the frying pan. Voila, all my entree problems are solved. Kitten is a very considerate French lady. We could do with more like that here in Adelaide as I am sure they could in France.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 12:15 PM

morning dolphin46 .. I will be the pjs with me to the porch too - you will laugh because it is sad but true that yes I do own them ....

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 11:56 AM

yep - go for it Jen.
we too can have a Corey Delaney party!!
that's ok isn't it Willow?

Posted by: today122 at January 27, 2008 11:54 AM

today122..........I havent been formally invited either...........wanna gate crash :)

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 11:52 AM

willow.
I've been otherwise detained, ie, earning a dollar, over the last few days. Sadly I can't spin a yarn in the vein of dolphin's.
BUT is it too late to accept the invitation? Oh - hang on - maybe I haven't been invited..........

Posted by: today122 at January 27, 2008 11:48 AM

INTERNET GOPLES:

I can't see you sonny, but I'm calling you for inexcusable agism, disguised as cheap laughs. The best bedmate I ever had was 70 at the time. And a demon dawn suburban walker.

But 2 years after we broke up, I was back to home-nurse her for a month after a hip replacement, and again a year later for the other one.

Don't laugh at age, sonny - you may be the next one to age suddenly, or fall off the twig, so that you never do.

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 27, 2008 11:45 AM

gopies, are you sure about At 38?

Timewarp, nice stuff.

dolphin, now you have put the pressure on. I will try to avoid burning the meat and my chance of finding love.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 27, 2008 11:42 AM

DOLPHIN 46 and MsTingle: Very glad to see your posts. Now nearly 10.30am even in backward old Brisvegas, and I was worried that everyone had disappeared to the Maldives or somewhere again, and left me behind.

Yes MsT - very busy earning the money for my rent and next dates, including working all night Wed to get an overdue chandelier hoist kit part-assembled and packed for Melbourne, then in the dawn straight across town 40km to let the carpet cleaner man into my hospitalised friend's home, ready for her to come home next week to die, tended by her just-arrived niece from UK and a 24-hour nursing service. Then I'll be comfortable about no longer visiting her almost every evening. Bless whoever invented reverse mortgages!

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 27, 2008 11:32 AM

TAKING A WOMAN TO BED
What is the difference between girls/woman
Aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58. 68, and 78 ?

At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 -- You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 -- You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!
At 78 -- What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???

Posted by: gopiesdotcom at January 27, 2008 11:28 AM

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 27, 2008 2:25 AM

Good to see your post, you must have been a busy boy lately! (more so than usual).

Posted by: mstingle at January 27, 2008 11:01 AM

Willow and fellow participants of tonights harem dinner, my apologies for abscence over last few days,but have been trawling all the finest boutiques in search of the perfect outfit to do justice to willows efforts in the kitchen. Am thinking i will go with the L.B.D.... understated elegance as I am sure tonights gathering will be.Particularly looking forward to kilt, and kittens outrageous P.J's. Will continue to salivate today in preparation for the evenings feast. Looking forward to dessert and scintillating conversation over a few sherries.

Posted by: dolphin46 at January 27, 2008 10:44 AM

Sex and money again - now in tandem.

I've taken a long late evening to read all this blog and post a couple of contributions.

Must now get back to working day and night to earn the money to afford the date to find the woman to share the bed to use for sleep, with a loving arm draped across her shoulder to make her feel coupled again, enough to make her think of coupling again. Do not collect $200, but hope to be shunting a train by Fenchurch St Station. Or should that have been 'twain'?

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 27, 2008 4:10 AM

Just posted on sex. Now for money. I see this as having a time frame:

1) In the PROFILE: I hope mine makes it clear that I've got more class than brass. At the moment, that is. Don't want to mislead either gold-diggers or nestegg-guarders.

2) FIRST DATE: I was interested to see your almost-unanimous agreement that the man should pay, as a sign of good faith.

I think that your advanced age (over 45, almost all of you) has timewarped you back to before bras became brands (firebrands, that is.) How datedly sexist of you all! At 72, I'm far more up-to-date.

I don't do short coffee dates, because over 95% of the women that I date find that they want to talk to me for 3 hours or longer at our first date. (Average 3.5, as many 4s as 3s, and a few past 5 hours.) So it's lunch, dinner or tummy rumbles, right?

Looking back over my hundred or so RSVP first dates during the last 2 years, I recall that they included about 10 or 12 age pensioners. So of course I paid - half of $30-$50 would be a difficult extravagance for them.

The rest of my dates have been either comfortable self-funded retirees (another dozen or so) or 3/4 of them were still working, usually full-time or at least 4 days a week, and usually in professional roles. That means they're earning more than I am, and nearly always double or triple my hard-earned but meagre income.

They'd feel patronised if I offered to pay for their $40-$60 meal and drinks, as well as my own $20-35 worth. The tightest ones (usually the richest-sounding and looking) usually offer to pay 50/50, instead of each of us paying for our own, which the others suggest.

3) NEXT FEW DATES: It must seem to both of us that there's some chance of at least a friendship developing, or why bother?

I've noticed a correlation between the woman suggesting we take turns paying the whole bill, when she's keen, or suggesting we keep on going Dutch, if she thinks we mightn't last long.

4) We've now agreed that we are an item, whether or not our union has yet been consummated. (See below)

At this stage in the relationship there is probably at least part-time cohabitation, so we discuss and decide how we are going to split our expenses.

Yes Seraph S! You read right. Since my divorce 13 years ago, I've had two relationships that soon were taken all the way. And both very nice indeed, thank you ladies! One lasted only another month (we were incompatible outside the bedroom) and the other for 7 months, till she seriously blotted her copybook.

Third and fourth lasted in turn 1-2 years each, but neither ever progressed even to kissing. I admired each of them and greatly enjoyed their frequent company, but found both slightly repulsive, physically.

After some time they'd both got sick of asking me to marry them every time they got drunk, and both suddenly gave me the total flick. Hell hath no fury ... so I lost two very dear friends.

Pity about that, but I agree with the blokes at the bottom of this blog: third best just isn't good enough, especially as a lover.

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 27, 2008 3:50 AM

gopiesdotcom: drink said Bundy until you don't care how much two heaped tablespoons is and then you should be just about right .... enjoy

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 3:03 AM

Hi all, and Happy Ozday! Very good blog again - a nice balance between really-honest on-topic posts, beginning promptly with NOT GG @ 11.11am 24th on one hand, and some ongoing nonsense - thank you so much Willow and gals for the comic relief. Enjoy your virtual harem dinner tomorrow night!

FEMALE PER @8.35am on 25th - one of your best. Lovely light touch, and long enough to be meaty.

THE CANNULATOR re immediately-vanishing posts: isn't it frustrating? In my case it's because I type so slowly that RSVP has usually forgotten I'm still on the line, by the time I try to post.

Solution? Type it, copy it onto clipboard and then try to post. If it vanishes, open another window, paste and send immediately.

MsT @ 10.04am 25th: Good for you! Payment in kind can be very kind, and valuable too.

SERAPH S @ 11.16pm 25th and 10.57am 26th: Thank you ginormously for getting past the superficial set topic of

"Whaddaya pay and whaddaya get?"

and taking it forward to "What is it that makes relationships worthwhile?"

I'd like to take the ensuing discussion a bit further. I see myself at 72 as being fairly close to the dreaded WRINKLY-BRINK.

No need yet to call in Dr Peter Rostate, partly because taking saw palmetto and then cranberries for the last 7 years has turned my little mate Richard's clock back about 10 from then - a major factor in the timewarp.

Yes - I have already bought one box of 4 little blue pills, but not for myself - for a friend approaching 80, whose slightly-younger boyfriend had recently gone from hatstand to bellrope. Cost her a bit over $100, which she was happy to pay herself, because it was mainly for her benefit, she said.

I don't know how soon that will happen to me too, and add about $25 to the cost of each productive assignation, so in the meantime I'm looking urgently for someone who's hoping for cheaper nookie in the meantime.

As well as looking for Seraphic contentment flowing from comfortable conversation, cuddles, cookery, cohabitation et cetera.

And I must admit that if it came down to a fight to the death between Sex vs. The Rest, I'd be rooting for The Rest, to use a little American English for once. Which would keep me on side with the Palmer family too.

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 27, 2008 2:25 AM

ahh SS you mentioned Maslins.. what a lovely beach.. had a friend draw me naked on Maslins. I loved the freedom of being naked.. however drew the line at running down to the water.. I just didn't want to get black eyes .. he he ;-)

Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 26, 2008 11:59 PM

Adieu all. Away for 3 days... check in when I get back... Have fun... "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at January 26, 2008 11:46 PM

Lamuse... gotta love it... Bet it took a while to clean the egg off his face???

Posted by: amdoingit at January 26, 2008 11:45 PM

VDU, was a comment made to me by a friends daughter the other day.. According to her anyone over 50 has wrinkle sex and it's gotta be yuk!!! Wait till she hits 50... Hope I'm around to comment... I'll be that 80yo with a wide grin!! Better be... X

Posted by: amdoingit at January 26, 2008 10:13 PM

Warning: anecdote alert. I had a bit of satisfaction along these lines. I married a fella 15 years younger than me, back in 1980. His nasty cousin (who would have been about 30) asked him, well that's all very well but what was I going to be like when I turned 50. Soon after we moved away from that city, and 15 years later I was 54,.. I came back to the home city and ran into the cousin for the first time since leaving, at a party..he almost fell over with surprise because, as a mutual friend said to me, I looked younger than he did. That was sweet, sweet I can tell you.

Posted by: lamuse at January 26, 2008 11:32 PM

Posted by: willow1059 at January 26, 2008 9:51 PM

Ha ha Willow, a funny tale and Maslins is a beautiful beach!

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 26, 2008 11:20 PM

Posted by: gopiesdotcom at January 26, 2008 9:55 PM

GDC...no swamps or dams to speak of now due to the drought. When it is not so dry, there is a place called Hindmarsh Falls, on the way to Victor Harbour from Adelaide which is a famous SA yabbying spot. Have fun then, it is a pleasant activity and hope you get some of the critters. Tell us how it went : ))

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 26, 2008 11:17 PM

Willow, maybe Dick needs to rethink his plans and take it easy for a while.. If Venus has her sights on the big screen she may have something to say about it too. Maybe they could use "doubles" in their places and you could be the star?? I'm sure you'd be very successful and have no trouble finding someone to mend your broken heart...

Posted by: amdoingit at January 26, 2008 10:52 PM

Amdoingit, I haven't seen Dick for a while. It is my understanding he has gone into his shell.

Since he ran off with Venus, the twinkle in my eye has never returned. I guess a broken heart has everything you need for a great Aussie Movie.

Your thoughts about finding an Aussie producer are spot on. Venus is an Aussie, I have also been informed she has produced very well indeed. They have a large family now and Dick is seeking to expand again.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 26, 2008 10:20 PM

VDU, was a comment made to me by a friends daughter the other day.. According to her anyone over 50 has wrinkle sex and it's gotta be yuk!!! Wait till she hits 50... Hope I'm around to comment... I'll be that 80yo with a wide grin!! Better be... X

Posted by: amdoingit at January 26, 2008 10:13 PM

Maggie supporter (are you???) I suggest double quantity of bundy to be on the safeside.. In fact just cover fruit with bundy (fruit will soak it up) and add less of the other liquid (when time come) to the mix. Potent but nice... Perfect snack to take when yabbying!!!

Posted by: amdoingit at January 26, 2008 10:10 PM

Willow. behold, a tale that surely needs to be told. Made into a movie methinks!! Need to find an Aussie producer.. Dick could well benefit from the exposure don't you think?? A star in the making...

Posted by: amdoingit at January 26, 2008 10:07 PM

Wrinkle sex, G???? I think I'm finally grateful for my failing eyesight!!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 26, 2008 10:00 PM

Hi! Hic! Guys, just ‘ome from an evening bbq. Its been beaut’, Australia Day and all, though being single doesn’t help, when you look around the company, everyone seems to be “paired off” as the saying goes…
Anyway, a few beers, some social intercourse, a bottle of red with the bbq and, a port after… I’ve had a great day, and no expectations tonight..

Meow, can you please help me ?
I have gained a recipe for a fruit cake, that I would like to make, and am having problems with the ingredients. It reads; soak fruit in 2 heaped tablespoons of ‘bundy’ overnight. OK being a bloke, I know wot bundy is, but how do you measure 2 heaped tablespoons full ?? I reckon the bundy will just spill over, you-know, an’ I do want to get this just right. The rest is easy enough; measured in teaspoons and cupfuls.

‘ssc’, any swamps or dams near you? I’m about half way between melb an’ adel. Dam drought is making it hard though… night time is the best at the moe. We’re off yabbying tomorrow arvo

Posted by: gopiesdotcom at January 26, 2008 9:55 PM

“Free Willy – The naked truth”

Appearing below is the true story about the quest to Free Willy. Do not believe Hollywood, as always they have distorted the facts.

A close cousin of willows, Dick likes to frequent a nudist beach we have here in SA. Located about 40km south of the city it is called Maslins Beach, perhaps you have heard of it.

It is a really beautiful beach set at the base of a cliff made from iron rich limestone, tinted red, yellow and white by minerals some unknown to me. The water is crystal clear, you can see your toes and other things even when neck deep.

On a nice day many hundreds, perhaps thousands can be seen tanning parts of the body that should never see daylight.

On one such day many years ago, I and a group of lady friends decided to spend the day with Dick at the beach. As we set off my friends very cheekily asked how I intended to find Dick among the crowd on a nudist beach.

Aghast at their innocence I advised that I would simply look for two footprints and a drag strip, this would lead us to Dick. Disbelieving, they followed me as I wandered along this strip until I found Dick in all his glory.

Now they believed, soon after a shark warning sounded. This is not unusual along our southern beaches, especially at Maslins where many “Sharks” are known to sample the naked offerings, often with binoculars in hand.

Shortly after seeing Venus, a member of my group and a goddess of such exquisite beauty no man could resist; and as all others exited the water Dick waded in, arms held high, surfboard in hand, oblivious to the alarm that surrounded him. Venus in her naivety asked Dick “Are you not afraid of the shark”, to which he replied “No, I will just poke it in the eye”.

Forever after he was simply known as Free Willy – A whale of a Man.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 26, 2008 9:51 PM

Venturing joints Willow, really!!! I suggest a blueprint!!! Could be interesting... "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at January 26, 2008 9:49 PM

Amdoingit, I am sad to hear you cannot attend The Sunday Mass, I mean dinner.

I assure you a podcast of it will be available in this space straight after the event.

The prospect of what you could do with a wireless foreign body and a laptop excites me. Can we discuss a joint venture and a patent for this device. I/We could sell millions on RSVP.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 26, 2008 9:35 PM

kilts.......

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 26, 2008 9:34 PM

Hey VDU, why would you end up a bitter and horny old crone love?? There's lotsa horny old men out there baby!!!

Lamuse.. I'm with you, hormone creme for her viagra for him and wella... Wrinkle sex I think they call it??? That's years away yet though!!

To each his own... Just be happy, enjoy and live for today.. "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at January 26, 2008 8:44 PM

Looks Like my kilt suggestion has been well received..:>) Now to get the cobwebs off my silk gown...anyone bringing hors d'oevres?

Posted by: lamuse at January 26, 2008 8:43 PM

Willow, it is with saddened heart that I inform you of my inability to attend your "special" dinner tomorrow eve. My services are required elsewhere (bloody work) and unfortunately access to internet has been denied me. (Think I need wireless & then take laptop!!).
Lady Nina, I was hoping to join you as the "other" foreign body (not what you were referring to willow) on the table but you my dear will have to hold the fort so to speak. As I hold you in the highest esteem, I hereby consent to you being my voice (by proxy) and I'm sure you won't let me down.
Willow, only short aprons allowed!!! Kilt, well damn, love a man in a kilt!!! Hope I get an invite to the next one..

Enjoy all!! "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at January 26, 2008 8:37 PM

Come on willow, it's not going to be a quiet night at tomorow's dinner--I'm coming too. BTW, who is cooking--is it just you, or all of us?? I am going to wear a 1950s-style nurses uniform, complete with stethescope and urinal.

Is that the right word??

Anyway what time should we women arrive/
You must be loving this.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 26, 2008 8:14 PM

SS, I will consider wearing an apron just for you and a kilt on top (not under) the apron. I know this seems strange, its a guys thing.

I checked this morning, I have legs, two of them them. Both bend, perfect for a kilt.

Good then, I look forward to reading about it. Two legs is handy then for you with all the ladies to cater to. Oh and I meant one of those long aprons you know. Whatever you can manage hey.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 26, 2008 6:12 PM

Posted by: gopiesdotcom at January 26, 2008 10:21 AM

gopiesdotcom...I would help catch the yabbies for sure, if I lived near you. Yum and they sure do bring back those childhood memories. What an Aussie thing to do this weekend.

seraphsuzie, don't let anyone take of your rose coloured glasses. BTW the glass is always half full of drink too!!!!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 26, 2008 11:18 AM

Wishfulthinker you crack me up.
Ditto though to echo SS's post, really like I posted once before and got some reaction...if the choice was companionship, fun, conversation with the man I loved OR sex with the man I loved...if you could not have both, I think I would choose the first. What if you are in a longterm loving relationship and they get injured and there is no more sex. This does happen when people become paralyzed for example.........do you just break up with them? I would like to think that love would conquer all, in some relationships. IMHO : ))

Oh and of course I would like all of those attributes in a relationship.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 26, 2008 6:08 PM

Why on earth couldn't everyone have kissing and cooking? Seems pretty easy to me .... even at the same time could be good.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 26, 2008 6:03 PM

Wouldn't it be nice to have both kissing and cooking, though.

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 26, 2008 10:27 AM

Yes.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 26, 2008 6:00 PM

I see we (you) have pre-decided the outcome of the Sunday dinner topic.

It seems the flavour of todays posts is COOKING. Bit rich for me.

The way to a womans heart is via her mouth which leads to her stomach, the same outcome for males.

Sex appears to be a very distant 2nd or 3rd place.

It is going to be a very quiet night at dinner tomorrow.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 26, 2008 5:35 PM

Do you all plan on making love when your in your 80's? Because you know for some physically it will be an impossibility.. Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 26, 2008 10:57 AM

I do. And this is why I like younger men. After all, women can pretty much have sex indefinitely..a bit of hormone cream and you're away!

Posted by: lamuse at January 26, 2008 3:27 PM

Hi Suzie - long time, no chat!!!

I agree with your comments that sex isn't essential for a loving relationship, but from my point of view it's pretty darn desirable!!! As long as I am physically able to, I intend to enjoy that aspect of a relationship... when I find myself in one again!!!

Hopefully the desire for sex will dwindle by the time I'm in my eighties... I'd hate to end up a bitter and horny old crone!!!

Happy Australia Day one and all.

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 26, 2008 2:30 PM

gopiesdotcom: so that is where I am going wrong - I guess I will have to brush up on my cooking skills or .... perhaps the ellusive he could cook for me a change? Now wouldn't that be nice!

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 26, 2008 2:27 PM

I don't know that anything can replace it! It is part of being human. But I suppose, if the mind is still willing, but the body is un-able to keep up, well it’s memories and dream land for some..

I had a dinner date with a Lady last Tuesday, but alas it appears that narrow vision of her ideal does not come with-in my field. So, maybe another brick should be added to the wall..

Boy, isn’t life a roller-coaster. Why can’t there be more merry-go-rounds.

Yes, I'm with you ‘ss’; “Wouldn't it be nice if we all accepted each other for the way we are?”

Hey ‘kit’, remember the way to a mans’ heart is truly through his stomach.

Posted by: gopiesdotcom at January 26, 2008 2:01 PM

he he wishful.. the mind just conjured up many things re: technology...

And th anks for getting what I mean :-)

Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 26, 2008 11:24 AM

Yep, I for one plan on it Suzie....might take me that long to find someone though. I'm sure by the time I reach that age (and yes, it's quite a way off), I'm sure technology being what it is, it'll be possible :)

All jokes aside, I get what you are saying Suzie....

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 26, 2008 11:18 AM

YOu do know people there is more to intimacy then just sex? Do you all plan on making love when your in your 80's? B ecause you know for some physically it will be an impossibility.. so what replaces it? Especially if you have all your faculties up top and you still get the urge but you just can't? And WnW i was serious. I think for a lot of people its hard to see outside the box so to speak. They are dictated by what is supposed to be the norm by society.. And thats ok.. but then its nice to see outside this and actually follow what feels right for you instead. Hence there are some people in the world who don't think sex is important in a relationship and don't want it.. does that make them any less able to be in a loving relationship then you? I doubt it...

And I am not saying that this is me.. but it seems on here that people only see one aspect or one dimension of what a relationship is and can be.

And I do have my rose coloured glasses on.. and they will stay firmly on till they are prised from my cold dead body. But that is who I am ... and I accept that .. Wouldn't it be nice if we all accepted each other the way we were? :-)

Happy Australia Day!!!

Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 26, 2008 10:57 AM

Take a night to crash and burn (must be the whole going back to work thing) and find lots going on and too much to catch up on....I see the dinner is coming along nicely Willow!

WnW, I'm not sure what the other two topics were/are/should/could be, just not those two (sex/money).

Okay, got both eyes open now, first cuppa is done, so I best get moving...

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 26, 2008 10:30 AM

Gopiesdotcom: My dad used to catch us yabbies when I was a kid and they were the best ... isn't it funny how food always brings back great memories?

Wouldn't it be nice to have both kissing and cooking, though.

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 26, 2008 10:27 AM

“it probably wouldn't matter if you didn't have sex.." posted by ss

Is it important in a committed relationship to have quantity or quality sex or love ?
Is sex, self gratification, singularly emotional fulfillment ?
We do need some contact and affection in any relationship. Imho

Come on guys,

Kissing don’t last.
Cooking does.

Talking of cooking: Sunday’s dinner…
How about skipping the frog’s legs, I’m offering to catch, cook and peal the yabbies.
Any takers to assist the catching part on Sunday arvo, as you cannot beat freshly cooked yabbies. OK, so maybe with a small cray!

wishing everyone an enjoyable Australia Day

vbr

Posted by: gopiesdotcom at January 26, 2008 10:21 AM

"I think if you truly truly love someone.. it probably wouldn't matter if you didn't have sex.." Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 25, 2008 11:16 PM

Suzie .... surely you can't be serious.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 26, 2008 9:50 AM

SS, I will consider wearing an apron just for you and a kilt on top (not under) the apron. I know this seems strange, its a guys thing.

I checked this morning, I have legs, two of them them. Both bend, perfect for a kilt.

Ms Tingle, really "Free Willy" in a blog with naked chefs and urologists, what are you thinking.

Since you have introduced the subject of "Free Willy", I have a short story on how he was given free range at Maslins Beach, a nudist beach in SA. I will share it with you this evening after kids are in bed. I hope you do not blush easily.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 26, 2008 8:58 AM

Posted by: willow1059 at January 25, 2008 11:17 PM

Having reread the blog, I remember just had other things on my mind at the time.

So if you are going to wear a kilt as the ladies suggested I may wear under garments like those that Paris Hilton often wears when out to dine, after all the humidity up here!

Was it Nina that was wearing black and Kitten possibly a red dress if she desides to toss the PJ's.

What to wear, what to wear.

Still not sure if I can make it, so hopefully an RSVP will not be neccessary.

Posted by: mstingle at January 26, 2008 12:34 AM

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 26, 2008 12:20 AM

Have to have good legs though to wear a kilt.

Free Willy anyone! Good movie that, about a whale.

Posted by: mstingle at January 26, 2008 12:24 AM

Willow, do consider a kilt please.

Posted by: lamuse at January 25, 2008 9:59 PM

Lots of men look great in a kilt, its one of my favourite things to see a guy in. Oh and aprons look cute of course : )))

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 26, 2008 12:20 AM

Posted by: woodnwine at January 25, 2008 11:24 AM

Good point WnW...

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 26, 2008 12:17 AM

Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 25, 2008 11:16 PM

You would be a good partner for my ex.

Posted by: mstingle at January 26, 2008 12:17 AM

SS, 11:16 PM re. see things differently to most.

are you wearing your rose coloured glasses again ??

Posted by: gopiesdotcom at January 25, 2008 11:52 PM

doh!

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 25, 2008 11:28 PM

A bull, horny ... umm

You sure you do not want a bull.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 25, 2008 11:20 PM

willow - just make sure it is not a bull as we wouldn't want to lose you now!

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 25, 2008 11:18 PM

MsTingle, dinner is Sunday 27 January at 8.00PM AEST.

More information is available in my post on 23/1 5.57PM in "Relationship Matters", the old blog.

Must go, need to catch the cow.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 25, 2008 11:17 PM

I think its funny how over the years the more important things in a relationship have changed.. I think it used to be love and communication were THE most important things in a relationship now its Sex and money. I think if you truly truly love someone.. it probably wouldn't matter if you didn't have sex.. and as for money.. welllll... What's wrong with living on love alone..

You all probably think I am mad.. and thats ok.. I see things differently to most.. :-)

Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 25, 2008 11:16 PM

Thank you willow ... will come with pjs, look out little green frogs!

I am sure we can save some wine for you .... but you will have to come over to enjoy it

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 25, 2008 11:07 PM

Back to watching "My fair Lady".

Believe me the dinner sounds fun probablt like the retreat may be better, I just can't get into it this time.

Anyway what time did you say dinner was on Sunday? May be I will do a walk in or something.

At the moment Audrey is beckoning me, gaw blimey.

Posted by: mstingle at January 25, 2008 11:03 PM

kitten, feeling better now I know I am first. Sorry, was feeling a little vulnerable after my appointments during the week.

PJ option is good.

If you have any wine left over can I have some?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 25, 2008 10:52 PM

willow - ah but our date is earlier ...

L - I think we will be shouting each other somehow ... so how about we interchange and have both!

P.S. Can bring pjs if you like - after all what else we do for an entree

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 25, 2008 10:40 PM

What?

Posted by: woodnwine at January 25, 2008 10:13 PM

nina, are you two timing me, lunch with kitten so soon?

Has kitten upset you, really there is no need to shout at her.

kitten, I thought you were going to wear your PJ's with frogs. Now I will have to re-plan the entree.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 25, 2008 10:01 PM

Willow, do consider a kilt please.

Posted by: lamuse at January 25, 2008 9:59 PM

Kitten - I look forward to doing exactly that at lunch on the 9th. And it will be lovely to meet you. Is red or white your preference? My shout!

Posted by: ninaschen at January 25, 2008 9:57 PM

LaMuse, I have anticipated the need to dress before dining to avoid the introduction of unwanted foreign bodies to the table. My attire will be disclosed as we are seated.

I did reflect on the possibility that any foreign body on my table may be particularly desirable if of European ancestry. But the risk of cross contamination was deemed unacceptable by local health authorities.

Your ability to dress so economically must be well valued. I bet once you have removed the spiders from Tulipani's web site, the out of season items would be at excellent prices. Are they damaged in any way?

Yours is an excellent suggestion in a blog about money.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 25, 2008 9:46 PM

MsTingle, it is with profound regret I must advise Mr Ima Hood is serving a custodial sentance at His Majesty's Pleasure (or is that Her).

He has been well schooled during his stay by politely declining the invitation. He indicated he had been inadvertently detained.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 25, 2008 9:35 PM

Evening "L" we are a pair ... spending Friday night lamenting our loss of fortune and lack of date. We should get together, share a bottle of wine and toast the end of the week.

Thank you willow for the reminder ... am considering my wardrobe and wondering what finery to wear to such an event

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 25, 2008 8:51 PM

Ninaschen, at a virtual dinner, anything is possible. We might even have a urologist stopping by to check Willow's baggy. If we want.

Posted by: lamuse at January 25, 2008 8:34 PM

Willow, a linguist as well as everything else! Actually Tulipani is an Australian fashion label..They have a web site.
Funny about the baggy and tube..hope that is all taken care of before you start our dinner! Or else we will have to have mental images of you with nothing on but a baggy...lol

Posted by: lamuse at January 25, 2008 8:30 PM

LaMuse - I expect we share a similar sense of humour. I trust ISTJ will seat us within coo-ee of each other at dinner on Sunday.

Kitten - another kindred soul! Pay day, time off and the lack of a date are uppermost in my mind at this time, too.

And so there is never any misunderstanding, I always make it clear to any prospectives that I have nothing but I am happy to share.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 25, 2008 8:29 PM

Posted by: willow1059 at January 25, 2008 8:22 PM

So where is Ima at the moment? Is he going to be at the diner

Posted by: mstingle at January 25, 2008 8:28 PM

hello kitten, remember dinner is free on Sunday, money is not a problem.

Do you play monopoly, perhaps this can help alleviate the problem. Perhaps you should consider landing on the Go To Jail square, I have been tolds by my cousin Ima they make good meals and they are free. Ima's parents Mr and Mrs Hood agree.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 25, 2008 8:22 PM

LaMuse, thanks for letting me know you enjoyed yesterdays story about my urologist funny.

As I can be a little bashful I didn't mention he also gave me a small clear bag with a tube in it. Well, I took it home last night then blew and blew into it with all my might, but it would not inflate.

I took it back to him in the morning asking for another one as it was clearly faulty. Only when they asked for my urine sample did I realise my error, I was so embarassed. To my great relief they said it was OK, it was only a wee little problem.

I'm feeling much better now. Of course, you can come to dinner on Sunday. I am so looking forward to seeing your evening gown by Tulipani.

I must admit I did not realise that evening gowns can be made by sticking Italian Tulips together, Tulipani is such a clever man. You will smell delicious. I think kittens green frogs will love you.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 25, 2008 8:15 PM

Posted by: woodnwine at January 25, 2008 4:27 PM

Okay don't worry about them.

I take the bait at times, we are only human.

Most of the time I ignore them but at times I suppose we need to vent our annoyance and that is okay, it is healthy, regardless of what some may think.

The main thing is that we are not the instigators or ones to attack others as they do.

Posted by: mstingle at January 25, 2008 8:06 PM

Evening all ...

In an attempt to keep on topic ... I have no money (pay week next week), it is a long weekend (yipppeee) but sadly lacking in the date department ...

Still, there is always Sunday dinner to look forward to!

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 25, 2008 6:36 PM

mstingle - I was referring to some of the nasty comments made by people who have multiple/phony profiles so we don't even know who they are.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 25, 2008 4:27 PM

No false advertising:

We have also discussed this on the blog before, as I said we are pretty with it people!

I agree with this pod cast I can relate to because I do not hide my feelings in regard to either sex or money. You will always know what page you are on with me!

Posted by: mstingle at January 25, 2008 4:05 PM

POD CAST 3: Sex and Money.

I think this pod cast is spot on because this has been talked about so many times in the blogs. At times there have been certain views expressed on these very topics and some people have not taken the views of others in this regard very well, which suggests that they are indeed very important topics indeed.

Unless people can discuss these issues freely there will be no headway made in relationships. Some people are so affronted by such issues that they wont even get to there ever being a possibility of getting to know one another and a relationship evolving.

Sex and Money are the most important issues in relationships whether you want to acknowledge it or not. People who do not realise this are either naive or foolhardy.

Sex has to be to the mutual gratification of each individual in the couple or lol, group.

Finances do not need to be discussed until further into the relationship; but believe me they are always present: Who pay’s who does what etc, etc.

In the pod cast they talked about people being in competition in regard to either paying the least or the most in a date. Yuk!

Posted by: mstingle at January 25, 2008 4:00 PM

I am not sure what is going on but it appears that two people who are very open and honest generally are talking at crossed purposes unless I missed something.

Posted by: mstingle at January 25, 2008 3:42 PM

Posted by: woodnwine at January 25, 2008 11:24 AM

Yes this could be so! However what are you refering to in this instance; usually a person is making this statement because......

Posted by: mstingle at January 25, 2008 3:40 PM

I just listened to the third pod cast:

Being very cluey people that we are, we have already discussed the pre-nuptial etc. However like they said you don’t want anyone to produce it after wedding plans have been made, discussions need to be had and intentions made well before. The moment when you feel I could actually spend the rest of my life with this person, if that is what you choose.

Legal counsel and mediation if necessary!

Posted by: mstingle at January 25, 2008 3:36 PM

Maybe a few of us are still here because we cant see past our own selves and are too prepared to see the faults of others in relation to the rules and values that we should be setting for ourselves only?

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at January 24, 2008 3:22 PM

Sigh..how true. And I think the older we get, the more it is true.

And Willow, am I the only one to find your urologist post funny and clever? Well done.

I hope to join the dinner party, and I will dress as I please. probably in my latest Tulipani oufit. I will bring a bottle of excellent Margaret River wine, and you will all be dazzled by just how interesting, and dare I say, alluring women of a certain age can be. Speaking about the other ladies of course. ;>)

Posted by: lamuse at January 25, 2008 12:57 PM

Alaine - what do you mean "look who's talking"? Who have I ever been nasty to? I presume you are talking about me.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 25, 2008 12:02 PM

Recent article from Brisbane's Courier Mail titled:
"Email warriors are becoming the scourge of professional life, writing things to each other they would not dare say face to face.

Blunt and cruel, brave and foolhardy - their authors display a courage rarely seen in daily life. They are pieces of writing so reckless in their displays of anger and so furious in their self-righteousness that they might have been forged in a crucible of almost religious mania.

They are emails. Written by people who are brave only when they don't have to face the recipient of their fury. People write things in emails they would not dare say face to face. While pounding complaints into a keyboard, they afford themselves the liberty to use words and phrases they would consider inappropriate and offensive if voiced.

It's pretty easy to attack the boss if you don't have to face the boss. It's very, very easy to mount an argument if you don't have to hear the counterpoint. And it's the simplest thing in the world to give someone the benefit of an unbridled opinion when you're just staring at a familiar computer screen and pushing a button.

Psychologists have often noted that warfare changed when modern artillary removed the need to look the enemy in the eye. Something along the same lines seems to be happening with basic communications. It's so much easier to list your grievences and the personal failings of those you hold responsible - or to lay out warped conspiracies - when you confine your thoughts to the autonimy of the keyboard."

This also seems to apply very much to blogging .... don't you think?

Posted by: woodnwine at January 25, 2008 11:24 AM

If the first meeting is a coffee or a drink then both parties should pay there own way.. But if there is a second date then I believe the man should pay.

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 25, 2008 11:16 AM

I prefer if the male pay for the dates.

If I accept a date after the initial coffee date, then this would indicate that I am genuinely interested in getting to know him. There is no way that I would be going out on a date with a male for him to be paying if I was not interested.

I do and have had male friends but I always pay for myself in that case.

Where do I contribute to the relationship financially? Well women often do this by cooking meals, preparing picnics and I also love buying little gifts; the gift thing you definitely know that I am smitten. (Of course it is nice when the male occasionally does these things also).

I think things naturally sort themselves out but no! I don’t think I would date anyone that did not pay when we went out.

Now I know that some women will baulk at this but this is I:

When I have had male company over and they have stayed the night I have been known to wash and press their clothes for them to put on fresh in the morning and make them a full cooked breakfast, tea and orange juice. This has lead to permanent relationships. Of course this would not be the reason why on it’s own. There would have to many other things going on for that to happen.

I am not saying that all men would like this and I definitely did not do this in the past to ensure that a man stuck around. It was just something I did and it made the man feel special and they have been touched by the caring gesture.

Don’t worry I am no doormat. I want a male to care for me in ways that would also make me feel special.

A good relationship has two people in it that are not afraid to do the nicest things for each other. There must be a balance there cannot be only one receiving mainly both have to be committed. To keep a relationship burning brightly you must provide the fuel.

Posted by: mstingle at January 25, 2008 10:04 AM

oh now I'm bad it 2008 isn't it?

Maybe I wrote it? See what happens when you rant. Time stands still!

Posted by: thecannulator at January 25, 2008 9:55 AM

I just spent 20 minutes adding to this blog and then told after it recognised me that I wasn't signed inwhen I posted and lost it all. Did the same person that wrote the software for the blogs write the chat program becasue they are both poor quality.

Come on its 2007. Get it right.

(and what I di say was actually ok too)

Posted by: thecannulator at January 25, 2008 9:54 AM

Femalepersuasion - my belief is that the issues you have raised may apply if you meet someone you aren't sure about, but if you really click with someone the money just sorts itself out because you are both keen to just be fair and enjoy each other's company and don't really care what you spend.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 25, 2008 9:44 AM

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 25, 2008 1:52 AM

Mediacl proof of STD status is a good idea. If you have nothing to hide both of you could go and get all current checks done. Both going to an appointment together and recieving the results together from the doctor.

After all anyone can get the results form the doctor alone and say they are all clear.

A bit much, well STD's must be spreading somehow and it also affects educated, career orientated people who otherwise appear squeeky clean.

Posted by: mstingle at January 25, 2008 9:35 AM

WHO PAYS FOR WHAT AND WHEN

This is an issue in flux, I’d say. Couple of decades ago? Simple answers to this simplest of questions. The guy paid, or there was no second date.. Then for a little while there, some women claimed that they found a man paying all the time almost condescending. Then some of them wised up and said, “Sure, equality, right. But that’s no reason to pay for DINNER.”
And now? I think the standard isn’t so clear anymore, but there are still some expectations.

— as in, if he doesn’t pay for dinner or a movie, how could he be serious about dating? Turn that one around. Does it then follow that a woman must be interested in dating a man because she ACCEPTS his paying for dinner or a movie?

IT’S NOT THE MONEY HE SPENDS

Well, I’ll tell you this, you’re not going to get ANY info by what a guy actually does pay for. It’s not enough information. I mean, if a guy pays for dinner, it could mean:

1. He’s crazy about you and wants to be a gentleman.
2. He doesn’t give a crap about you, but still wants to be a gentleman.
3. He’s a total jerk and he wants to impress you with money.
4. He’s got a corporate card and wants to use it for all it’s worth, thereby impressing you with his company’s money.
5. He is looking for a tax write off.
6. He has a stamp card at that Subway, and if he buys both your subs he gets two smiley faces.
See what I mean? However…

WHAT ABOUT THE MONEY HE DOESN’T SPEND?

Here’s where the behavior might get a little more readable.
You may ask if the I-pay-now-you-get-the-next-one guy is being insincere. Well…sounds to me like he’s being VERY sincere. Probably too sincere for his own good. He might as well be wearing a T-shirt that says, “Either I am supremely cheap, 100% clueless about women, or I feel so little for you that I want to make sure that our finances don’t get murky even on the first date.” Good luck getting anywhere near the business end of a breast, fella.

And if he just flat doesn’t pay? I think this one’s got to be either:

1. He’s very cheap
2. He’s very stupid
3. He wants to sleep with you for as little money as possible (possibly due to any of the above reasons)
4. He has a stampcard at that Subway, and the manager told him that if he completely fills the card, he’s banned for life, and he really likes that Subway.
Any man with half a brain has to know that if you don’t offer to pay for a date sometimes, you look like a jerk.

EQUALITY? NOT REALLY, BUT WHO CARES?

Is it fair that men are expected to pay for dates? I don’t know. Probably not in the strictest sense. Kind of feels like it belongs to the same time period as dowries and carriage rides. Or at least “the burn the bra” era. But whatever — it’s there and it’s hard to feel too badly about it. Call it the, “Women STILL don’t get equal pay, so stick that where the sun don’t shine ” Tax. Whatever it is. It’s there.

MONEY’S FUNNY

People get very strange about money. I know there are plenty of men who will do ANYTHING to avoid going somewhere that they’ll be expected to shell out more than a couple of bucks. And I know there are plenty of women who basically live to find ways to eat, drink, and have fun, all on a charitable donation from the “Guys I Have No Intention of ever Sleeping With” Foundation.

Personally, I think this cuts both ways. Yes, I think that a man who doesn’t pay at least most of the time likely doesn’t value the woman very much. And conversely, I think that a woman who expects to be paid FOR at all times maybe doesn’t value HIM very much.

Well, thats the money issue sorted..stay tuned for Part 2- Sexpectations

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 25, 2008 8:35 AM

Did you know dreaming of celibacy it means you have to wait bit longer of your desire....haha! Am I right?

Posted by: aliane at January 24, 2008 6:42 PM

Hey aliane, I sure hope I don't begin dreaming of celibacy as well. Don't need it to take over my dream life too. Recently I awoke a bit alarmed after having a sexual dream about a long forgotten ( I thought) ex. Am well over him and do not fancy him so was bewildered as to why I would dream about him. The dream was quite real and I wont go into it. Have had coffee meetings from RSVP that is all. Sexual relationships were in a boyfriend/girlfriend situation and some time ago (after the divorce). Nothing worth posting springs to mind and I am wondering why there is a blog about sex and money.

What’s on and what's not, on the first date?

Well respect is on and not respecting boundaries is not on. People should disclose their STD free condition. Some people ask for the medical proof. How romantic but I guess it is sensible. As someone who is not settling for a casual fling, I would be in a relationship therefore it would feel safe. It would be comfortable or it would not happen. It possibly would not always be great and/or fun..people get tired and so on. Trying to move on from the past and live NOW. I really am puzzled as to why Karina wants to know this stuff.

I do not care how much money a guy has but I do not want to be a meal ticket of course. Due to having little money I am working lots now and it reduces my free time but I do not know how it will influence my "looking for love". Strange question really.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 25, 2008 1:52 AM

WnW, where have you been for the last week. We are having a cyber dinner on Sunday night here at RSVP blogsville.

I am cooking Part 3 of Relationship Matters in the Kitchen. From memory you had a suggestion a few days ago about the menu. There will be main course, dessert, wine, sherry (for kitten). Dress standards are posted earlier this evening. The conversation begs for your input.

At present I am the only male surrounded by women, it would be great if you and Bob will attend.

Will not say more, most of my posts about this are in the former "Relationship Matters" blog.

It is my understanding the evening will be very enjoyable, free, you can attend while remaining at home.

This is a new event, a first for RSVP no fist fights can be started, the RSVP moderator does not know about it. WF03 has agreed to moderate for us at no charge. ISTJ is doing seating, kitten is doing whatever kitten does. june baby has gone into labour early but she will be there on the night along with others.

If you have any spare towells could you bring them, nina has wet herself already and dolphin is coming.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 24, 2008 11:17 PM

willow ... don't mean to ignore you but what is all this about dinner? Sorry, I'm not up with it all.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 24, 2008 10:50 PM

Oh willow--it's not sensitive, it's just stupid. My lamb chop is calling.

nigh nigh

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 24, 2008 10:49 PM

db2 - if you are with the right person, you don't "broach" the topic of sex .... you just discuss it in your normal conversation .... it just happens.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 24, 2008 10:49 PM

"Woodnwine, there was no question, just comment and thinking...question now: What are the odds that at my age I am going to meet the right guy here who will rock my world?

I'll give you a million to one on that one." Posted by: istj54 at January 24, 2008 8:32 PM

I didn't think it could happen either .... but it can, I assure you.

"I'm not sure that sex and money are always the two difficult topics to discuss."Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 24, 2008 8:45 PM

So, WT03, what are the two difficult topics?

Posted by: woodnwine at January 24, 2008 10:47 PM

hello db2, holiday starts soon?

I'm with you, subject a bit too sensitive (no pun) for me.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 24, 2008 10:44 PM

istj, you also must forgive me. In my passion thinking about all this elegant nightware I have really stuffed up the seating as I did with the moderating.

I freely admit Mere Males cannot multi task more than two things (one for each hand), seat us as you see fit.

Please consider nina's disability by seating her close to the bathroom if possible.

kitten, wow how hot you dress and so French. Please bring your frogs to the dinner, perhaps we will have entree once I have considered how to remove them from your lingerie. Do you have enough for all?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 24, 2008 10:36 PM

wishfulthinker03: shhhhhhh .....

me too ... 'night, 'night all

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 24, 2008 10:32 PM

Bit warm for those flannelette jammies isn't it Kitten?

Well, first day back at work, I'm beat, going to call it a night...goodnight bloggers.....

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 24, 2008 10:28 PM

willow - I am currently wearing flourescent pink flannalette pjs with the brightest green frogs painted all of them ... real passion killers ...

wishfulthinker03, sorry couldn't resist!

"L" does this count for any old thing? (and yes they are old, really baggy and really, seriously ugly pjs) So if you are wearing black and low cut (but not too low!) I think I might opt for red, deep wine red. What do you think?

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 24, 2008 10:18 PM

...a free dinner....now I can comb the discount stores for my new seductive but not overt dress. I did see a little black thing in Jaqueline Eve the other day that may well suit the criteria...Willow, am I not doing the table placements...You can have Nina on one side and Kitty on the other...does mess up the alphabet thing though. I will sit opposite and keep an eye on you.

Still can't get my head around the conveyor belt. Will it keep the food hot?

Posted by: istj54 at January 24, 2008 10:14 PM

Such a smooth talker Willow, I'm surprised your good self hasn't been snapped up - what are those local women thinking??

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 24, 2008 10:09 PM

Oh Nina,

No matter what you wear, you would still look beautiful and elegant :)

Posted by: yucka at January 24, 2008 10:03 PM

Sorry WT03, it was a bit inconsiderate. Of course, you will not need to pay. Services in kind are recognised in my home.

I really had not considered you would need to mediate, originally I envisaged a moderator only. In hindsight the wisdom of you thought is undeniable.

You are a thinker without peer.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 24, 2008 10:00 PM

Willow, I get to moderate and still have to pay for dinner? I wonder how much mediators/moderators get these days - and I shall supply said invoice for hours spent. I'd be thinking a dinner would be a much cheaper option :)

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 24, 2008 9:49 PM

nina, my doctors name is DR B.LADDER

Posted by: willow1059 at January 24, 2008 9:44 PM

I imagine you could throw on any old thing, Kitten and you would still meet the criteria. What I would wear, on the other hand, now THAT requires much rumination. Simple. Black. Low (but not TOO low - don't want to look sleazy) cut. That may be the way to go. Oh the dilemma! I am as excited as a school girl. Not only am I dining with a handsome, young (well, he is young to ME) man, I get to dress up too! I am wetting myself! Willow - I need the name of your urologist, please.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 24, 2008 9:39 PM

News flash, I have solved the cracked pepper problem discussed in Relationship Matters in the Kitchen Part 2.

While pondering what evening dress type "L" is, I have become aware that battery operated pepper grinders can be purchased. Why didn't anyone here tell me this. Push button I understand, just like the remote on the TV. Do you put the peppers in before or after the batteries?

I have spent two days throwing the old pepper shaker into my floor to crack the peppers with no success other than to dent the wood in a thousand places.

Not impressed!

On reflection, you can all pay for dinner this Sunday. I need the money to get the floor repaired.

nina, I am particularly upset with you. You are experienced enough to have counselled me about my error.

Thanks NF and istj, your posts about discount shopping gave me the clue I needed. You may dine for free.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 24, 2008 9:39 PM

Nope Willlow...never heard of Farmers Coffee - so I guess you will have to miss out - or could we find a substitute :)

Sad that childbirth has to be the first part of your acrostic poem...what a scarey thought when thinking of chemistry. Hair?? Hahaha, but the rest of it - pretty good :)

Best not answer Kitten...you never know how this one will react :)

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 24, 2008 9:33 PM

Chemistry is:

Childbirth
Hair
Erotiscm
Me and you
Interests
Sex
Taste
Role playing
Yum

kitten, how are you curently attired, should I ask?

WT03, The male should always pay for 1st date, so I'm with Bob. Not every date, I have moved into the 21st century, just. If you insist you can buy me a Farmers Union Iced Coffee after a great night out, if you have that up north?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 24, 2008 9:22 PM

....actually, funnily enough, it was called Crazy Clint's in Melbourne town...now it's just the Warehouse...and I love shopping there...all sorts of cheap thrills!

Are you trying to say that women here are selling themselves short on RSVP and should hold out for more?

Or are you questioning the calibre of the men?

Posted by: istj54 at January 24, 2008 9:08 PM

For you "L" of course... okay, so now ... what to wear? ....

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 24, 2008 9:07 PM

Sex and Money

I’ve just run into another Crazy Clark’s Special rsvp male.

Everything for $2.00 including sex.

It never ceases to amaze me what women on this site will settle for.

Seems there is more than One Discount King on rsvp, and quite a few women who are happy to shop at discount stores.

Posted by: neuroticfish at January 24, 2008 9:03 PM

Kitten, indulge me, please. There are so few occasions for me to dress up, these days, especially seductively. It means a little something to my generation. Please, please, can I?

Posted by: ninaschen at January 24, 2008 8:45 PM

I'm not sure that sex and money are always the two difficult topics to discuss. Sex often sorts itself out depending upon the chemistry (I truly hate that term), between the individuals and also the beliefs they may have..who knows. Whatever feels right, and isn't offensive, would be okay I'm thinking.

As for money - well initially I'm not sure that's a problem. Everyone has different opinions about who should pay for the date, personally I'm happy to pay my own way, or take turns or whatever, it makes no difference. However, I'm much more likely now days to be more careful on the money issued having been burned by my last partner of 5 years. He was always "broke", borrowed often, would often go to buy something then tell me "Oh, I'm broke, can you get it". Got to Fiji once and he informed me he had no money! Great. I'm still waiting for THAT to be reimbursed and he is long gone.

Money isn't power and no it isn't taboo to bring it up - and I didn't think it should matter until I got stung, now I'm more inclined to think twice on "big" money issues as I almost lost out on the house/land which I've worked hard to pay for and see as MY children's inheritance.

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 24, 2008 8:45 PM

Woodnwine, there was no question, just comment and thinking...question now: What are the odds that at my age I am going to meet the right guy here who will rock my world?

I'll give you a million to one on that one.

Problem is that I would have to rock his too and that is wherein the problem lies. We really like someone but they don't reciprocate and then visa versa....ah well, such is life.

I don't like the idea of talking too much about sex, except for safety, before the deed. Smacks too much of phone sex to me. How do you know it will work out and then the discussion seems a bit tacky....just my opinion. I'd rather wait till the realationship was in full flight and then I would be comfortable to discuss anything...and then to try almost anything:))

Posted by: istj54 at January 24, 2008 8:32 PM

Willow - dress code on a Sunday night! I will come as I am attired at the moment if that is acceptable to you?

Evening "L". I look forward to joining you at the dinner table on Sunday night.

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 24, 2008 8:28 PM

nina, have found the dress code.

It was:
Happy dining, by the way for the ladies dress should be seductive but not overt, for gentlemen stylish, open neck, enclosed footwear and yes pants are required including the chef who will need them before being seated. Do not forget to floss your teeth, we want broad smiles, unwanted toothy guests are not invited. Web cams will be used to ensure all guests are suitably attired.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 24, 2008 8:20 PM

nina, will get back soon about dress code, was posted in the old RM blog.

aliane, not taken as personal, but I think I need to change my urologist, you are far more informed than him or me.

WnW are you coming to dinner?

Posted by: willow1059 at January 24, 2008 8:16 PM

Hi Aliane! I would love to meet you for a coffee, one day. Let me know if you are ever in Melbourne.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 24, 2008 8:08 PM

alaine - you need a slow and sensitive lover, I think. A romantic and sensitive man will be more concerned about your pleasure and in less of a hurry to satisy himself. This is what you need to find and when you do, don't let him go.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 24, 2008 7:48 PM

Willow - I am touched by your invitation to join you and other illustrious bloggers for dinner. I graciously accept. A man needs his harem. It is fortunate you didn't assigned me the task of compiling the guest list. I am a failure at organising such things, apparently. Please advise the dress code.

And on that subject, (I will post here as it seems to be the most active blog at the moment) regretfully, I withdraw the open invitation to lunch in Melbourne on the 9th. Those who follow the blogs regularly will understand why. Pity.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 24, 2008 7:43 PM

alaine - premature ejaculation? Are you dating men or boys? I think something is very wrong if you are continually having that problem with men.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 24, 2008 7:35 PM

hello kitten, now I have fixed up the other private issues with my urologist it's time to finish planning the meal.

Have you noticed no males want to come.

Aliane, wait I shall for however long it takes. One of the last posts in the other "RELATIONSHIPS MATTER" blog indicated a possible answer to the topic of our discussion for the evening "Whether the way to a womans heart is via her eyes, ears or mouth" is that all three must be satisfied.

I think I have ears and mouth covered, as yet I have not solved the problem of eyes. I am trying to find a cosmetic surgeon who may be able to help me before Sunday.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 24, 2008 7:21 PM

Evening all.
Willow - looking forward to Sunday's dinner and the final part of the trilogy.

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 24, 2008 6:57 PM

Willow here, I have been having difficulty recently that required me to visit my urologist. These are not issues easily discussed in a RELATIONSHIP but they do MATTER (on topic in as much as the anatomical region is sex related).

During the course of the conversation I mentioned that at certain times of the month some people I must associate with really pis..d me off. He explained that I do tend to hold onto things for too long and that I must learn to let go more easily.

He is an excellent doctor so I took all his advice and kept it readily at hand for when I needed it later in the day. He is still practicing medicine after 55 years, I have wondered why he still needs to practice after so many years but I guess some people are just slow learners. Needless to say the advice was invaluable and I was greatly relieved it worked so well in discharging its intent.

I regret to advise I now find these same people are giving me the shi.s, he gave me further advice that I am currantly putting into practice (by the hundreds). At present, this advice is not working. I know this because when I received his bill the problem was greatly exacerbated and there were round floaty things in the toilet, by then I really had the shi.s.

Perhaps we can discuss my dilemma at Sunday’s dinner. I understand it will be a very relaxed affair and I sincerely hope neither of these problems will put a dampener on the evening.

PS He also advised this advice can be used for RSVP blogs when tempers fray, I willingly share it with you.

Posted by: willow1059 at January 24, 2008 6:43 PM

istj54 - is there a question in there somewhere? .... let me check. I agree that for a relationship to work well the sex has to be good otherwise it just fizzles out. Good sex can be immediate or take time, depending on the person and the connection. It can be awkward or not depending on the bond I guess and maybe talking about it a little first may help, I don't know. It's probably a little unusual to talk about sex early in a new relationship, particularly before doing anything ..... opinions please.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 24, 2008 6:30 PM

Great dreams, nice poem two eyes even if it is not your own, thanks for sharing.

You are so lucky remembering your dreams (I think). Last night must have been bloggers I have a dream night, for I too had a dream.

I wish I could share it with you but as usual I cannot remember it. I can say I woke up in fits of laughter that lasted several minutes on and off. I'm guessing it was not about sex, or perhaps it was!

Posted by: willow1059 at January 24, 2008 6:23 PM

On a totally, well not really, off the topic tale...last night I had a dream about Notgodsgift...and he knocked me back...and in the dream I thought he was God's Gift! Didn't wake up happy...must have been all his posts yesterday...he got into my headspace:))

Bob, be alert, but not alarmed.

Posted by: istj54 at January 24, 2008 5:22 PM

...you've told me nothing Woodnwine:))

Except that sex is important in a relationship. I would take that further and say that it has to be good to great sex...I think that this type of relationship evolves naturally at its' own pace.
As you have said, there can be an instant attraction but this does not always mean that the sex will be satisfying or good. It can be awkward...but would talking about it beforehand make much difference?

I've only had one sexual experience on rsvp and he turned out to be a player and a deviant...so my fingers were well and truly burnt. It took some months to recover from this experience.
I am now like Bob and very careful and can't really see anything much happening here for me in my lifetime. The sex will need to be meaningful and reciprocal before I will go there again.

Posted by: istj54 at January 24, 2008 4:55 PM

istj54 - OK, some of us started this off .... now over to you, it's your turn.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 24, 2008 4:39 PM

sex - is it the touchiest of the touchy topics when it comes to relationships?

I hope not or it won't be a very good relationship.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 24, 2008 4:10 PM

Beautiful Two eyes I wish more people followed it but if we were all the same life would be very boring. Good work.

Posted by: jaspercat at January 24, 2008 3:34 PM

YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE, I AM WHO I AM

You are who you are, I am who i am
i accept you for who you are ,
Will you accept me?

You neednt see the world thru my eys to touch my heart
Your heart is felt thru my own..... and beats faster as a result.
I may not understand
But you are who you are, I accept you for who you are,
Will you accept me?

When the grace falls from your eyes as I let you down
I pray that you will remember I am who I am
And I will try to remember you are who you are

As we are side by side, embraced within simply being
You as you are, me as I am
The love in a shared beating of hearts, unencumbered by webs woven in the mind
As you are who you are, And I am who I am
As you accept me, and I accept you
And we allow us.

Not mine but pertaining to the topic i think

Posted by: twoeyes at January 24, 2008 3:24 PM

aliane
nothing is wrong with you at all it is them. They should be honest from the start which a lot of the people on here dont seem to be and you keep your standards high and where they should be. Dont settle for second best - it is better to be alone and happy than with someone who treats you poorly for the rest of your life or worse still have to go thru a seperation because you just could not take it anymore.

Posted by: jaspercat at January 24, 2008 3:23 PM

Hi Twoeyes,

I put down the fact that I am still here to myself and my own values; not the fault of any woman. I have decided what I want and what I can (or am prepared) to give and wont compromise on certain aspects because, to me, close enough isn't good enough. I dont want to be thinking somewhere down the track that I had just "settled" but, and more importantly, I dont want any woman I may be with somewhere down the track thinking that she just settled on me.....after all, life is a two way street.

Regarding the "Stamps" issue; I dont really think about it one way or another, although not everything is always as it seems. I dont doubt that there are people, guys and girls, who dont have stamps because they think that making contact first is beneath them. Conversely, plenty of people out there are doing it tough and may not have the capacity to afford stamps; doesn't mean that they should be banished and are not entitled to seek out love.

Maybe a few of us are still here because we cant see past our own selves and are too prepared to see the faults of others in relation to the rules and values that we should be setting for ourselves only?

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at January 24, 2008 3:22 PM

Twoeyes
Speaking on behalf of the female side it also doesnt matter what we do either - we also cant find mr right either but one day it will happen and what is the saying - you have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince/princess

Posted by: jaspercat at January 24, 2008 2:57 PM

Does no stamps mean that you will be paying for everything if you meet up for date ?

for as long as I have been on here I have had 2 women send me an email after I sent the "look forward to your email" reply and they were VERY genuine women.

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 24, 2008 2:34 PM

There is nothing more abhorrent to me than the thought of hurting a woman; physically or mentally.

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at January 24, 2008 11:11 AM

Totally agreed Bob

From experience I believe that the really genuine women have stamps.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 24, 2008 2:17 PM

Also correct Michael.

But guess what we are still single, doesnt matter how nice WE are or how many STAMPS WE USE, we still cant find ms Right For Us...............

Posted by: twoeyes at January 24, 2008 2:22 PM

From experience I believe that the really genuine women have stamps.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 24, 2008 2:17 PM

ridersonthestorm74 at January 24, 2008 1:37 PM
Absolutely...what are they really saying?
I am so wonderful that you will just have to contact me?
I am too tight to spend anything on you?
Or is it because you are not good enough for me but I'd love the boost to my ego anyway?

Posted by: abckenny at January 24, 2008 1:53 PM

Don't you just love it when people have what is written below in their profile !

** Sorry NO STAMPS **

RSVP should block people like this.

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 24, 2008 1:37 PM

WnW well agreed

Posted by: jaspercat at January 24, 2008 12:48 PM

Agreed jaspercat ... although sometimes people are affected by their circumstances, which are beyond their control. I guess we all just have to do our best to work around these hurdles.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 24, 2008 12:43 PM

WnW I think a lot of guys have also been affected by the players on RSVP - I wish we could sort out who they are and wipe them but unfortunately by the time one works out who they are - it is too late and you have already been hurt.

Posted by: jaspercat at January 24, 2008 12:21 PM

notgodsgift - I agree with you that many women seem to have been affected by players on RSVP so that can make things more difficult than they perhaps should be. I guess anyone that has been mucked around feels more vulnerable. Other people's feelings are extremely important no matter how you feel about them romantically.

Regarding money - that is a funny one and personally I don't think it even needs to be discussed until you are well into a relationship and perhaps thinking of taking it much further, like settling down together.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 24, 2008 12:16 PM

...we could have a lot of fun, Aliane:))

Posted by: istj54 at January 24, 2008 12:05 PM

Notgodsgift - you are the first gentleman I have found on RSVP and also very honest so good for you. It was so nice seeing someone really saying the truth and exactly what he expects and I take my hat off to you

Posted by: jaspercat at January 24, 2008 11:56 AM

The topic of sex on the first date is really up to the datees :), and what their expectations are from each other person. It is also whether they are comfortable with the person they have just met "in person". I agree there has to be a "spark" of some sort between the parties, as attraction is a big component to the subject of sex. With regards to safe sex, that is common sense. A full medical with regards to STD's by the individual prior to dating on RSVP or just in life is a good way to start. As I said, common sense. I did do this in a relationship as my girlfriend at the time requested this, and we both agreed to do so. It worked out really well, with no issues or hang ups about STD's, and we had a great sexual relationship.
With regards to the "money" question. For me, if I am asked about my financail situation, I tell the truth, just as with any subject that is brought up in a conversation. Honesty for me is big on list of values and if you can't be honest, well. Look, you either have it or you don't, you can't take it with you when you expire from this life, and money really can't buy you love. It's the quality of the realtionship that matters in the end, and living in the moment and enjoying the experience. Of course you have long terms goals, however you should be able to enjoy the journey along the way, not just the end result. So I wish happiness to all and thanks for allowing me to post my comments.

Posted by: jb26262 at January 24, 2008 11:29 AM

Hi All,

As a guy on RSVP it is not as easy as it should be to take the lead. Women are aware that there are many players on these sites so, to me, its about making them feel comfortable that you are not one of the players and have a genuine interest in them as people.

Money is an easy topic for me; I dont have any, and say so on my profile to deflect any type of gold digger. I also dont want it unless I earn it for myself so, if you are wealthy...enjoy, I am not interested in your wealth.

When I go on a date with a woman, I pay....thats it...I dont care about her financial circumstances, I will treat her the same whether she's a millionairess or a pauper.

Sex....will not happen if I am not particularly attracted to her or I dont feel that the relationship has any real future. Doesn't mean I haven't done this in the past...I have... but essentially it can lead to an expectation that there is a future when (whilst there might be), I am just not prepared as yet to make that commitment. Has lead to hurt before, so now am not going down that path until she realises where I stand and both of us are happy for it to happen.

There is nothing more abhorrent to me than the thought of hurting a woman; physically or mentally.

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at January 24, 2008 11:11 AM

istj54 - you seem to want to talk about sex but don't want to start things off. I guess one of the first things to be discussed in a new relationship is safe sex. Everyone at "our" age has a past, so this must be discussed even though it can be akward.

Regarding the first "date" (not meeting) what people do and don't do depends entirely on what kind of spark there is. For some, the spark happens quickly for others it may take a few dates or may never happen. If there is a spark I think it's perfectly normal to hold hands, hug, kiss on the first date .... If you are both feeling the attraction, why not?

Posted by: woodnwine at January 24, 2008 10:27 AM

What’s on and what's not, on the first date? What's acceptable and when?

I think we "touched" on some of these questions yesterday and decided (Aliane and I) that men should take the lead from the ladies if they wanted further dates. really it is up to the two individuals involved in the date and how they feel about it.

Those next questions are a bit questionable to me...I just love this one:How do you keep yourself safe and comfortable... and still have great and fun sex?...can't wait for all your contributions but I'll have to, because I sure am not going first on that one.

and then telling you all:What sexual experiences have you had? And how did you manage the fears, the expectations and the disappointments?

How far back am I supposed to go?

Woodnwine hurry up and start the ball rolling...fasten your seatbelts we are in for a bumpy ride:))

Posted by: istj54 at January 24, 2008 9:47 AM