RSVP Blog

"And I don't buy the argument of WnW and others that if the person is nice and you persevere with her, you may eventually find her sexually attractive too. It may well work for you if she's a slow-blooming introvert - not for me." Posted by: timewarp1 at February 2, 2008 9:51 PM

Timewarper - you misunderstood. I agree that it either works or it doesn't, but I was saying it may not happen on the first meeting ... but it should happen by the 2nd or it probably won't. Some people are nervous or shy on the 1st meeting and loosen up on the 2nd and you get to know them better and you will maybe even see them differently.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 4, 2008 8:57 AM

VDU,

Great - we should make a live party of it at Kareela... or wherever. Anyway, hope you get to visit our fair (but very rainy at the moment) city..

Cheers, GTTC.

Posted by: greattimestocome at February 3, 2008 9:19 PM

Thanks Kaz, I look forward to listening soon - I heard snippets on the radio today and I was most impressed pet!

GTTC was at Willow's virtual dinner and he was curious about one of the cocktails... we intend to try it if/when I go up to visy my girlfriend in Sydney - GTTC lives about 10 mins from her place.

Cheers!!!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at February 3, 2008 7:10 PM

VDU the JJ cd's are in the process as we type pet........and what is this about shouting??................K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 3, 2008 6:41 PM

And yes, I'll give you a shout and I'll even shout you that drink!!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at February 3, 2008 6:17 PM

GTTC...

I still haven't decided if I will come up to Oyster Bay, but if I do it will be about the 18th of Feb.

Posted by: victoriadownunder at February 3, 2008 6:15 PM

music4two @ 1.58pm:

Accurate, eloquent and concise. Please keep posting, because you have got it dead right, mate.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 3, 2008 2:06 PM

TimeWarp1
keep that tongue cheekily in your cheek
I had responded to your post previously but the blog gremlins seem to have eaten the said post.. must have been a tasty morsel.
1. The name you enquire into is shybutperky, I beleive her demise at rsvp was getting to much of a life to fit in the required reading on the site.. A good thing perhaps.
2. The pied piper I alluded to was by way of everything worthwhile in life requires effort to be put in by BOTH parties.
WoodNWine
My galley will also be open when I return to brissy for a week, but I'll call and we'll chat. I'm sure looking forward to some home town hospitality. Country towns are not always as hospitable as one would imagine.
I'm looking forward to coming home to 'backward' brisvegas (a name by the way it's trying to shed) at the end of my contract,
I was reading on a different blog someone disparaging what our little town had to offer,.. my words to you are .. be it ever so humble there's no place like home.. and with that am furiously clicking the heels of my red shiny shoes.

Posted by: gypsynurse at February 3, 2008 2:02 PM

jenjen57, I do agree with your words of wisdom. It sounds as if you have been there and tripped the light funtastic cyberwise. I usually walk away if the meeting just doesn�t seem to happen after the exchange of many emails and phone calls of promises to meet. I try and set up a meeting as soon as possible if previous exchanges of chat are enjoyable, no matter how nervous I may feel at the time. If my nerves are still on edge after 20 or so minutes into a coffee and chat meeting I know either hasn�t warmed to the other so I will not persevere, knowing a close friendship isn�t going to happen, but I will try and enjoy the time spent as both people have made an effort to meet with each other. Long distance relationships are a loss also no matter how often two people may travel huge distances to spend extended time with each other.

From my observations, after coming out of a long marriage or partnership no matter whether stimulating or mentally debilitating, one has to deal with the grieving stages of it ending, and on most occasions the very next person we may have a close relationship with never lasts for ever but usually is short lived and both finally move on to other playing fields.

Forming a close relationship the older we age becomes more and more difficult as we have become very set in our ways living a solo life style displaying more involvement with grand children, as we concentrate our love on adult siblings and their families. Individual hobbies can become another time consuming passion. �God� says he �I almost need a diary to keep track of a busy life style, Ha! Ha!� What ever happened to personally intermingling publicly communicating with social skills instead of making friends hiding behind a computer screen tap dancing across the keyboard choreographing messages which lack any form of body language to the avid reader who try to visualize their own meanings of the written expressions?

Posted by: music4two at February 3, 2008 1:58 PM

I'm with you on that one Sue4you - camping is out - I know there are lovely places, great facilities etc, but anywhere I have to walk to find a bathroom or shower is not going to make me a "happy camper"

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at February 3, 2008 1:16 PM

sue4you - camping can be so much fun !
You just need to choose the right spot :)

Posted by: jenjen57 at February 3, 2008 12:24 PM

mmmm, I take that abck. There is one thing I regret and I'll never go camping again.

Posted by: sue4you at February 3, 2008 12:10 PM

Can you find love on RSVP? Who knows, but the money spent on the stamps has been well worth it. I've made friends, had my heart broken and learnt some valuable lessons, nothing of which I regret.

Posted by: sue4you at February 3, 2008 8:39 AM

There are plenty of successful online dating stories that end in marriage or longterm relationships.
But the reason why they got from A-Z is that EVENTUALLY THEY MET FACE TO FACE!
Sometimes, the cyber dance can drag on for months---you can get into a 'holding pattern' where one or the other (or both) of you becomes seized with insecurity that what if when we meet in person he/she doesn't like me?
So you put it off...and put it off...and by the time you meet you know everything about this other person and there's not a whole lot of mystry left to uncover.
There IS such a thing as waiting too long and letting the sizzle fizzle---computer screens can give a sexy anonymity initially but that will not keep your toes, or anything else, warm at night :)

Posted by: jenjen57 at February 3, 2008 3:05 AM

hey paridisio, so far I have been the only regular blogger from the kapital, except for a guy that only blogs occaisionally. I have made many friends on the blogs, but they are all Melbourne, Brisbane, Sydney, Adelaide and some NSW locations. When we wanted to make contact, we used our stamps, and things grew from there!!! they are mostly online, but I have met up with a few, and the friendships are very real.

When I first joined RSVP, I never expected to make friends, but that is what has happened, friends , both male and female..it is gr8!! Have a lovely evening...jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at February 2, 2008 11:07 PM

timewarp1 No I am not a lay preacher. I read far too many profile request descriptions set out as if professional vacancy adverts based on past trials and tribulations with such narrow viewed requirements that not many males or females could ever hope to fill with happiness. I live my life as posted with out one angry word or cynical comment cast. I always feel happiness in what ever I do thankfully. I lived at one stage within a marriage of constant anger aimed at me, but that is past tense because the sun happily shines on me these days as I live in today's contempory world.

I have also found that one has to deal with living on their own before they can harmonise a relationship.

Posted by: music4two at February 2, 2008 10:37 PM

Beauty and Love can be found everywhere. The problem lies within the individual definition, and it takes two to tango.
To find out whether one has found true love one must wait at least thirty years or more. At this point in time, if you can both honestly say that you'd like to continue in the relationship and provided that you're not dependent on each other and afraid to leave, gather friends and relatives and celebrate your union.
Love is selflessness, who, amongst us practices that.

Posted by: thevasilakis at February 2, 2008 10:06 PM

MUSIC4TWO @ 5.46pm

Welcome, and thank you for a really inspiring post. Excellent stuff, and I admire your eloquence. Do you moonlight as a lay preacher?

I specially liked your point that recycled singles tend to be narrowly and negatively focussed - determined to avoid what bugged them in their last relationship, rather than focussing on the positive, and looking for someone who makes them feel good.

I use a two-step process:

1) I weed out the ones who in their profiles already display habits or traits that I do not want in my next Dearest Darling, thank you very much. My own personal Veto factors.

Been there and hated it, or would never have gone there. Key point: Don't want to meet those people, largely in case I might find them tempting.

2) Then I meet as many as possible of the others, looking for evidence that they are people I respect and approve of. And I usually find it.

If so, I look to see if I also find her to be already sexually attractive at our first meeting, because it's a sexual partner I'm primarily looking for at present.

And I don't buy the argument of WnW and others that if the person is nice and you persevere with her, you may eventually find her sexually attractive too. It may well work for you if she's a slow-blooming introvert - not for me.

Because I'm an extrovert looking for another extrovert. That's why my profile has 'larrikin' high up in my perfect-partner wish list.

Just as easily as I can pick a larrikin by the end of 3 hours' continuous deep-and-meaningful, I can also tell if I'll want to hug her, just before I put her into her car at the end of tonight's first date. If not, her driver's door has somehow already got between us.

For me, a slightly-lingering mutually-enjoyed parting hug is the bottom rung of a beautiful ladder that is for climbing rung by rung with mutual enjoyment, AND without undue haste. No matter how high the ladder finally turns out to be. Or not to be.

I believe life and relationships should be climbed one pleasurable rung at a time, to see from each rung whether you want to go on to climb another - not just slide down in a hurry like a firemen's pole, with nothing significant between start and finish.

And yes, music4two, we shouldn't be looking for perfection. But how often do we hear of quite-undesirable men hoping to attract very-desireable women?

I say forget "what would I like?" get real for one minute and focus on "what do I deserve? "

I believe that we deserve our match, and for me that means someone who shares most of my few virtues, and doesn't have the many vices that I don't have, and can't respect in others.

And most of all, she has to think I'm as attractive as I think she is, so I carry a loaner pair of rose-coloured spectacles.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 2, 2008 9:51 PM

timewarper - whether we agree or disagree on meeting proceedures I want to say a big WELL DONE on your enthusiasm and persistance. I just hope I have your great attitude to life when I reach your age ... personally, I think I will but good on you mate. Cheers.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 2, 2008 8:51 PM

synchronicity

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 2, 2008 7:50 PM

Now thats a great book well worth reading...................

Posted by: twoeyes at February 2, 2008 1:29 AM

You read the little chapter on serendipity and synchroncity? It is quite powerful and should give us all hope.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 2, 2008 7:50 PM

Ah well we can only wait and hope for the rest of us waiting to meet that perfect partner cant we?

Posted by: jaspercat at February 2, 2008 3:08 PM

That is quite heartening jaspercat!! Must be nice to do music at a wedding then. Good to hear a positive post like that. I do not think I am looking for the perfect partner (no criticism of your words) but in a way they would be "perfect" for me. : ))) Best wishes in your search of course...

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 2, 2008 7:47 PM

I have read many blogs that are extremely thought out and cleverly scripted, but alas obviously not finding the perfect partner and possibly why the cynicism . As we age many of us seem to become very cynical about our requirements in a future partner and our prospected dating requirements all based on our previous life of mainly hurtful disappointments but tending not on elated relationships. Mr or Mrs Perfect is not out there in cyber land. It is a condition of our wishful thinking. We as relationship seekers restrict our own views and place self inflicted limitations of what we seek in a partner to suit our life style all based on our previous life. In our younger days we chose an opposite not from a hurtful or just grown apart relationship, lacking that experience, but from a view point that we felt good just being with that person wanting to care and stand beside them in what ever their abilities and chosen life style was giving and receiving support within theirs and our needs. A photo and written profile is only a capsulated overview of an individual and not a complete personality description or test as only the real person shines through from more than one live meeting and perhaps if all feels good, nurturing further feelings slowly together and refraining from quickly trying to recreate some type of fast excited happiness we may relate to in our previous younger years. As humans we are inclined to focus far too heavily on the down side and not the pleasurable values of a relationship inhibiting what could be a wonderful future life together. We don’t want to recreate the past but we can relearn to grow in happiness and care for another person our age within the boundaries of love, companionship, and sharing beautiful times together.

Posted by: music4two at February 2, 2008 5:46 PM

PARADISIO,
Yes, although it would be great to meet all the fine people from Melbourne who blog here, it would be a rather indulgent lunch. Although it seems some do visit my fair city sometimes.

VICTORIADOWNUNDER
When did you say you were going to be visiting Oyster Bay/Como/somewhere around there?
And will you be giving me a shout to try that drink? Always up for an outing...

Posted by: greattimestocome at February 2, 2008 4:24 PM

PIXIEMAGIC @ 1.59pm

Thank you for your welcome motherly advice about how I should and shouldn't go about my search for my next Dearest Darling.

I totally agree with you PM, about the pre-date procedure. Minimise it:

* I send kiss (or she does, but if you don't count Manila filipinas, I've only received about 40 or so in 2 years, and when I automatically invited each of them to put their stamp money where their kisser was, about 30 decided I wasn't worth the price of half a packet of smokes. Far too tight or co-dependent for me, dears.)

* I send slightly-personalised standard-form email saying that I like to cut straight to the phone - so please phone my mobile asap to arrange our first date.

(Or if you're too elderly, sex-role-stereotyping or co-dependent to phone a man that you haven't met yet, email me your number and I'll phone.)

No Alice -not those actual words. Longer and gentler. But if she is too whatever to phone, she's probably too inhibited or introverted for me anyway. I am NOT attracted to my opposite, and believe I deserve a smooging tabbycat, not a mouse.

* The single phonecall lets me listen for chainsaw voice and suggest very brief coffee date, instead of usual dinner or lunch, with gabfest till SHE'S all talked out. (usually 3-4 hours - covered all that in a post below.)

This methodology is based on 2 things:

1) I'm genuinely interested in people that I wouldn't want to bed, if they're interesting to LISTEN to. I enjoy their company (at least once) just to listen and talk (under wet cement if necessary.)

The sudden realisation that I don't fancy them sexually does not make ME want to get the hell out of here inside 30 seconds. (Or 25 if possible.) That's missing out on enjoying the present, because you're only focussed on one part of your future.

2) I was born on Dec 13th, and I learned only 5 years ago that it's the Day of Exact Precision. Which I have always had great difficulty escaping.

I should have known - I was already a boring young fart, when I was far too young to be a boring old fart. Sorry to bore you with that, but it's my only excuse. Off to the barber for my monthly $40 pampering.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 2, 2008 3:54 PM

Yes I agree with you xenabella. I am a professional musician and I have played at several weddings where the priest or celebrant has stated they met on RSVP. I have even heard them thank RSVP in the vows!!!! Ah well we can only wait and hope for the rest of us waiting to meet that perfect partner cant we?

Posted by: jaspercat at February 2, 2008 3:08 PM

PIXIEMAGIC @ 11.24AM:

Hi PM

My post that you're asking about was addressed to gypsynurse, and was responding tongue-cheekily-in-cheek to her post that I'd headlined.

The quotes were from her post, and I was asking what HER previous RSVP name had been.

You got a mention only because you had started off that particular discussion topic - and I wanted to acknowledge and affirm you, especially after your resulting trauma during the heated initial discussion of your topic.

And BTW, I agree with you about being roughed up, but what interested me most was the savagery of some of our usual voices of calm and reason, once YOUR claws were right out.

Typical primary schoolyard stuff, but Yes, someone - some of the name adaptions WERE very clever.

Never a dull moment on the blogs, till DullSam and Co get on the turps. All so interestinggg ...

PS (for readers in Melbourne only): In my post at 1.36pm, I gave the wrong date for the get-together that I've suggested FP should herself put on , instead of endlessly fulminating about the one that Ninaschen was going to put on on the 9th as an open-invitation event, but has since had second thoughts about.

I'd suggested the 10th to FP, to leave me free for any other invitations that might eventuate for the 9th.

And it's still the 10th, please, Femalepersuasion.

Pity to waste my only spare holiday weekend day, in my first visit to Melbourne since my brother died there in our motel room at 7am in 1989, while I was in the shower.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 2, 2008 3:03 PM

Yes, you can find love here. I was just in the bridal party of a close friend who met her now husband on rsvp last year.

The good thing is, you have more chance of actually knowing more about the person you are meeting than just bumping into someone in the pub.

Just see the first meeting as just that, meeting up with a like minded person for a drink or meal. I think too many people have unrealistic expectations. If they don't get "thier socks knocked off" they cant be bothered exploring any further.

Posted by: xenabellabeauty at February 2, 2008 2:28 PM

I am trying to contact timewarp on the chat line and cannot get a cursor up, could someone tell me how!

Posted by: oldcodger72 at February 2, 2008 2:23 PM

Timewarp1...have just read a few of your lengthy posts. Hey... I mean this in the nicest way but you are trying far too hard with the dating thing...chill out...dont be so analytical...dont have lengthy email exchanges to start with but arrange to talk on the phone asap then if you both enjoyed that contact arrange to meet asap just for a coffee/drink so there is no commitment to stay longer than necessary if one or both are uncomfortable with the meeting. If its all going well...just enjoy!...dont worry about what you should say next or what she should say.

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 2, 2008 1:59 PM

WOODNWINE @ 10.28am:

Didn't think you were having a go at all, mate. Just misinterpreted the things you've said here and in other blogs, and so overestimated your actual commitment to each new pursuit.

Your last sentence below says it very clearly, and I agree with you.

But I go at it from the opposite viewpoint: inclusivity. She's still on my list until I see an adequate reason to scrub her, at some point in the process. Let me explain:

I get RSVP to search for women living within 25km, because I expect us to keep separate homes for as long as I stay in my space-consuming from-home business - at least another 5 years I hope, and 7 or 10 with luck. Unless she's got a nice big empty shed, of course. That would be even better,

And I ask them for the age range that I've found by experience to be most likely to seem when we meet to be at my own STAGE of aging , even though that happens to be a politically incorrect figure: 5-12 years less than my calendar age.

(I'm a late bloomer. I was last challenged for under-age drinking at 28, and never caught up. Hence my RSVP codename.)

I study each offered profile in 2 steps: first a QUICK SKIM looking for obvious VETO FACTORS, which for me include:

* she's only separated,
* she's looking for a man under 65, over 5 foot 11 and/or skinny, or worse still, all of the above. (I'm 72, 5 foot 8 and weigh just over 100kg, heading for below 90 by August.)
* she admits to smoking (other people's tobacco smoke killed my only son at 18),
* she admits to heavy regular drinking (and/or will lovingly mention plonk, 3 or more times in the fine print - if I later get as far as her fine print),
* she's never had had her own or adopted or fostered children (I'm looking for my match, and they've been through the significant self-sacrifice of child-raising.)
* minimal literacy, and/or the ultra-sketchy details and phonetic mis-spelling that suggest awkwardness with written expression, and/or with complex oral communication.

and because I'm a man, first of all:
* looks that I'd rather not see over the breakfast toble, even once. (I'm NOT into hiding behind a newspaper in the morning.)

If she gets the gong for any one of these reasons, she DOESN'T progress to the next step: a much-more-careful scrutiny of all her fine print, looking for more veto factors, such as:

* says she loves watching male sports on the sofa all weekend with a drink or seven, and only lacks a feller to help her do that,
* hes been to 137 countries so far, but wants a new cost-sharing travelling companion for the next 43,
* feels grey, and is now ready for the nomad bit (or to move next year when she retires to some Coast, a cut-lunch trip away from Brisbane, or
* wants a kind jenlman to keep her company while she sits on the park seat at Redcliffe all day, and watches the waves come in.

No photo? If there are absolutely no bum notes anywhere in her whole text, I ask to see one. At least one man in her RSVP life has to be prepared to jump that hurdle, and then I'll have so much less competition, eh?

After all this evaluation, if there is no visible reason to cross her off the list, she goes into my "Favourites" file, which I actually call "Not-impossibles". About 350 women in that, when RSVP stopped showing the tally on my home page, late last year. Including the 280 approx that I've kissed so far.

So my listing over 300 not-impossibles says that I'm not enormously picky about who to kiss, in the hope of an interesting first meeting (which I'm old-fashioned enough to call a date, because I'll plan for it to last longer than a movie.)

To sum up: I guess you and I both go to the same amount of trouble finding people to send kisses to, but I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt at that stage and let the meeting sort them out, while you tend to be more picky, even before you've sent them a kiss.

Perhaps the difference is that you're only at the beginning of the process, while I've already sent kisses to my 20 or 30 absolute favourites. Did that first (of course), but that was back in Jan 2006. No luck, so keeping on moving on. And on.

May our respective approaches work for both of us, mate, and soon!

PS: Must stop this and go see an across-town customer about some of my airfare for Melbourne, in time for FP's much-anticipated visible-profiled-singles-only get-together on the 12th. And some business customer calls on the 8th (pm) and 11th to 13th. Booked my tickets about 1am last night. Seeyez.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 2, 2008 1:36 PM

should have added ... I have plenty of married friends and now, thanks to RSVP have more single friends.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 2, 2008 1:03 PM

PixieMagic
I think you will find TimeWarp1 was directing both those comments to me.
I believe that I have now addressed his queries on both counts.

shy *_~ perky

Posted by: gypsynurse at February 2, 2008 12:42 PM

TimeWarp 1
By all means feel free to grade my work. I think we could have a very interesting discussion.
When I lived up your neck of the woods I was known as shybutperky.
But I am down here for 6 months and decided to give this a go again, who knows if something remarkable happens perhaps longer. If not then I shall be returning home and attend one of Brissy bloggers lunches (shifts allowing)
As to paying the piper, what I was alluding to was in order to make a relationship work it's a two way street, each party must put in; and this is true for any type of relationship, the boss wants you to work he has to pay you.
Some would argue a relationship shouldn't be work, but from my own experience, (which I won't bore you with here) effort should always be made by both parties, lopsided affairs are never very fulfilling.

Posted by: gypsynurse at February 2, 2008 12:02 PM

Day 4 on topic ... "Or did you find a great friend? And what was that like?"
Yes, I have made some friends through RSVP meetings. Some have lasted, some haven't ... some due to distance have just faded away, some didn't want to be friends ... it was all or nothing. I think it's good to make friends too, as I for one don't have many of single friends that I can just hang-out with.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 2, 2008 11:36 AM

Timewarp1...not sure what you mean about paying the piper?...I also dont expect anything free in life!. Not sure what your last sentence means ..."PS: If I may ask, who were you in your previous life here?"

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 2, 2008 11:24 AM

Timewarper .... I was not having a go at you mate, just discussing different approaches. You suggest I am: "carefully searching for every possible clue to your probable total compatability, and then only approaching a few of the most likely targets - mainly because you are going to invest really heavily emotionally in each first date, both before and during. And be really cast down, each time your latest earnest try doesn't lead to success."

This is not the case at all, I make first meetings very casual and stress-free and I don't recall ever being worried if they didn't work out. It's just that try to only meet people that I think there will be a fair chance of getting on with.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 2, 2008 10:28 AM

GTTC, I was hoping there were a few bloggers in ACT, Melbourne is a long way to go for lunch!

Posted by: paradisio at February 2, 2008 9:57 AM

....

is it safe now?

....

yup, looks like picseetragic has retrieved her dummy & wandered off.

Really, though... I fail to understand why people seem comfortable presenting themselves as abusive & aggressive on these blogs- when the whole point of being on this site is to attract someone who..... likes you? ..thinks you're ..nice? ..pleasant?

Isn't that called shooting oneself in the foot?

Oh... that's right...

...they don't KNOW they're being abusive & aggressive...

sigh

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 3:58 AM

Mirror, mirror on the wall, this is the nastiest blogger of them all.

Posted by: oohlala1 at February 2, 2008 9:15 AM

if someone is open to meeting someone...surely it just happens when its meant to. E Scott Peck has a small chapter about it in "The Road Less Travelled" : ))Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 1, 2008 11:19 PM

Now thats a great book well worth reading...................

Posted by: twoeyes at February 2, 2008 1:29 AM

Age is just a number and people's libidos will not be all the same at the same age.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 1, 2008 11:55 PM

I think if a person fullfills all or most of what you are looking for in a partner and you feel a strong initial connection with them, then there is a chance that they could be the one.

as you posted WnW and also as gypsynurse posted, I think this agrees with her post as well, basically I think that most of us need someone with a similar world view. (and the other points gypsynurse posted). Thinking outside the square can help sometimes though.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 1, 2008 11:53 PM

mstingle did I miss your last day on the blogs? Maybe you will read them. Boo hoo, I am too busy at work to play. Have a good semester then mstingle and your prince will come I am sure. Keep up the humour and good attitude. Nice to be blogging with you and hope to meet you at a bloggers meet or if you visit Adelaide even : ))))

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 1, 2008 11:23 PM

If they are all in position then thats the one, and maybe after all that , then you didnt find them but they found you........

Posted by: twoeyes at January 31, 2008 7:42 PM

I call it synchronicity or maybe serendipity (its why I chose that name - as I believe in it) if someone is open to meeting someone...surely it just happens when its meant to. E Scott Peck has a small chapter about it in "The Road Less Travelled" : ))

Hi to some new bloggers on here then, virgil and paradisio and maybe some others. Sorry its hard to keep up with it all.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 1, 2008 11:19 PM

GYPSYNURSE at 1.12pm:

Well thank you ma'am, for giving my latest essay such a good mark.

When you next post something of significant depth and volume, would you like me to return the compliment, and mark it for you? And if so, do you prefer a qualitative verbal mark, or a quantitative appraisal with subtotals?

Just kidding, stranger. You done me ego a real lotta good, like the drop-dead gorgeous young lady who called me a seer a few nights ago, near the end of the Rel #3 blog.

Only 2 hours' sleep last night (6.30am to 8.30am) so I won't search back now and name the darlin' girl, but she made me labours worthwhile, as you just have.

Pixiemagic and I agree with you that as age (and more importantly, experience) progress,

"Some of us .... are quite happy with all that bed space to ourselves without the need to fill it at any cost."

But you and I are on opposite sides of the table re the next part of your post:

"After all nothing in life comes free, it just depends on whether you're willing to pay the piper, so to speak."

I already paid the piper for 30 years. Next time around, she's going to pay him, whoever she is.

PS: If I may ask, who were you in your previous life here?

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 1, 2008 11:12 PM

GTTC, it sounds like you work for an airline...

Posted by: victoriadownunder at February 1, 2008 10:50 PM

Paradisio, sounds good. Although how many bloggers are from CBR? What I've observed so far (and not for long I must say) is there would be good turn-up for BNE and MEL but very few in SYD and CBR...

Posted by: greattimestocome at February 1, 2008 10:40 PM

WOODNWINE @ 6.28 tonight

Hi mate and thanks for your thoughts.

1) You are right. I'm not at all like you, carefully searching for every possible clue to your probable total compatability, and then only approaching a few of the most likely targets - mainly because you are going to invest really heavily emotionally in each first date, both before and during.

And be really cast down, each time your latest earnest try doesn't lead to success.

My initial focus is very different - I'm trying to have a happy and interesting social life in the present, BEFORE I eventually (remember the statistics) meet The One (we both hope) and head slowly towards that hoped-for final state of mutual bliss.

Yes - I really do enjoy the frequent going out, and yes, I'll happily dine once with anyone who will agree to it, and sounds anything better than dead boring. And why not? It's nothing like as much hard work as each of your dates are.

Because for me it doesn't have to lead on somewhere, to have been a successful event. It just needs to have been more enjoyable at the time than eating out alone.

No big deal, for Eros' sake! And yes - the novelty/adventure factor is very relevant.

This behaviour isn't new to me. In my early 20s I took some girl or other to the couples dinner dance at Lennons on many Friday nights, and a different one to the Belleview or the Sunnybank motel's dining room, the next night.

Always just to dine and dance, because I don't remember fancying any of them. Or to a movie. It was just pleasant socialising at times when I didn't have a girlfriend at the moment, and also supported the restaurant industry.

At an RSVP first date I ask her 2 things - early on, I ask her to let me know once she's ready for our meeting to end, and when she's ready, I wind it up quickly - most frequently after around 3 hours' chat.

Secondly, towards the end, I ask her whether she wants to see me again.

This is to discourage female co-dependence. It's for me to decide if I want to see her again, but it's for her to decide separately about it for herself.

I realise that it would be confronting to many women to be told to their faces that I don't need ever to see them again, so I ask them to tell me first what they've decided. I encourage others to be assertive, and this is an example of that.

So the 80% I've already rejected in my head during our first date, include nearly as many who've told me at the end of that date "No more thanks."

Sometimes not till after chatting enthusiastically for over 5 hours. She wanted my mind tonight, but not my body tomorrow, and that's OK - we both had the delight of tonight's oncer.

So my success rate with first dates has actually been well over 80%, when defined as both of us really enjoying that date, as an isolated experience.

2) As to your idea about keeping on dating one person, in case it might unexpectedly finally get better, I do try to do that whenever I feel a real spark myself, and/or a real meeting of the minds, which is with about one woman in 30 or 40 that I meet. So I need to meet a lot of women, to give me (and them) much choice, don't I?

Is it now your turn to get on MY couch, Michael? Perhaps not. Already less than engrossing to most third parties, I'm guessing.

I only went into detail because everyone seems to be focussing so narrowly on pursuing The One, that they are losing sight of all the wonderful opportunities to meet interesting people along the way whom you don't want to dismantle.

To mis-quote: "The journey as well as the arriving."

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 1, 2008 10:28 PM

hey greatimes, come to a canberra bloggers meet and we will organise a sydney one there!

Posted by: paradisio at February 1, 2008 10:25 PM

Wow!! Just read all the comments from last night. How hilarious. Especially the new and inventive names for peoples psuedonyms. Sorry I wasn't here!!

Paradisio - an ACT get together would be good - I'll come. A Sydney one would be better.

Posted by: greattimestocome at February 1, 2008 9:59 PM

Hi all, i have just read this blog from start to finish.
firstly, junebaby, I have recently moved to the Kapital and as yet do not know a single soul in this godforsaken work orientated city....a big shock from Port
Stepens where i used to live....

The bloggers get together sounds like lots of fun (anyone want to have a bloggers get together in ACT soon?)
Even if we dont have one here PLEASE do not let them be rsvp organised events!!, I went to one in Newcastle last year and frankly it was hideous!!///soo many poeple trying sooo hard.
The bloggers get together sound very relaxed and casual with no expectation...just a bunch of mates....and an opportunity to make some new friends and really establish myself here.....

Posted by: paradisio at February 1, 2008 9:50 PM

You know Sharon..Like i have told someone else on here.. do not forget that your Mr right could be reading the blogs and reading what you write.. and all he will see is someone who is really not really very nice.. And yes we do have a life.. just like you who is posting as well. You have no idea how much life all the regulars have.. all wonderful people.. so before you start throwing out insults.. take a minute and perhaps talk to us and be nice.. and who knows you might just like us!! :-)

Oh and G.. got the email.. sent one back!!

Posted by: seraphsuzie at February 1, 2008 9:27 PM

My god you guys have this little club going on and on with all your blather, and you totally get off the topic!!!! Don't any of you have a life? This is my second blog (1st one in August last year), but I liked the topic. My ex boss met his wife on RSVP, and another woman at work met her husband the same way. I've been on (well, on-and-off!) RSVP for about 3 years now, with not much success: until now! So, yes, it might take a while, and who knows, I may even be back on here one day, but, yes, it does happen. (By the way, I'm on here now because I took a photo for a friend, and wanted to see how it looked, once he'd uploaded it. My profile has been hidden for over a month) So, all you regular bloggers, get your big bums off the seat, and get out there!!!!!

Posted by: sharon000 at February 1, 2008 8:39 PM

Thank you Woodnwine and Timewarp1 for your comments...it would appear that everyone has totally misunderstood my original post. I was merely voicing my observations on dating etc as we get older. I was not referring to anyone's libido and certainly not my own...why would I be here if that were the case?. Then the Blogger Bullies got hold of it and the rest is history!

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 1, 2008 7:15 PM

Nope. But you are here now, back in the fold, say hello to the puppies.

Posted by: trumanscat at February 1, 2008 7:03 PM

Hi TC

It really isn't as much fun as I've made out - maybe I should have ravaged the wenches and pillaged the towns instead ;)

Thanks amdoingit

Posted by: stoic at February 1, 2008 6:53 PM

Timewarper ... I just read your response with interest and would like to indulge myself by offering two suggestions (knowing that I don't have your breadth of experience in life or in RSVP dating):
1. If you are having such a low success rate, maybe you aren't spending enough time reading profiles or screening the ladies before meeting them. I also used to arrange a lot of meetings (although nowhere as many as you) but now I rarely arrange a meeting unless I think there is a fair chance we will "hit it off".
2. Maybe you should give some of the ladies more of a chance before writing them off ... I have had it happen where the "spark" doesn't happen immediately then after a couple of meetings "wham!!". Sometimes the people you are most attracted to are the ones you would least suspect.

Hope this is of some small amount of help in your quest ... although it sounds like you enjoy the going out anyway, which in itself may be good.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 1, 2008 6:28 PM

stoic... where has thy bin?
Bin rummaging & pillaging? Sounds like much fun. :~)

Posted by: trumanscat at February 1, 2008 6:22 PM

Suzie, just forwarded on main bounced one.. See what happens this tme!!

Thanks for details Nina. Had it right but????

Stoic... welcome back.... "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at February 1, 2008 5:24 PM

Suzie, waterbombe, decoratress and the irrepressible ninashcen - thank you all for the kind words. Good to be back.

And I am sure you can all appreciate how easy it is to get caught up in raising black flags, slitting throats, ravaging towns and pillaging wenches :)

Posted by: stoic at February 1, 2008 3:13 PM

Yes.

"But not as we know it" Dr Spock

Posted by: neuroticfish at February 1, 2008 2:05 PM

In answer to the original question -In a nutshell - no.

Posted by: southerncomfort67 at February 1, 2008 1:52 PM

TimeWarp1 @ 13.02

I have to compliment you on your writing skills, and turn of phrase.
I think your answer sums it up for most of us.. too!
Experience and maturity doesn't always have to come with retirement.
Some of us have learnt our lessons long before then and are quite happy with all that bed space to ourselves without the need to fill it at any cost.
After all nothing in life comes free, it just depends on whether you're willing to pay the piper, so to speak.

Posted by: gypsynurse at February 1, 2008 1:12 PM

WOODNWINE @ 10.27

Hi again mate - and thank you for the new pet name - I would just have added a D on the end, but your R is so good - reminds me that I have my attitude and behaviour to thank for my (relative) youthfulness, as well as my lucky genes.

So why am I still here, after a first-date a week for 2 years? You're pretty close.

MacGregor (1960s) built on Maslow's 'heirarchy of needs', and claimed that the things that turn you off (I called them 'veto factors' when teaching this stuff in a TAFE management course in the 70s) take precedence over the DIFFERENT things that turn you on.

When looking for a mutually-satisfying long-term physical relationship, lack of a 2-way mutual spark is my personal No. 1 veto factor. That's because I'm not shipwrecked alone with her on a desert island. (Rather different then, I'm sure ... beggars can't be choosers.)

And DC (one-way electric current) is no good. Been there too long, before. Need AC, to drive two jackhammers in synch.

There are also cultural things that get up your nose (or hers) immediately, and would become progressively more annoying.

PIXIEMAGIC is right about us becoming more experienced and thus more choosy by middle age, once the genes are not screaming quite so loud for coupling (any coupling, but NOW!)

So even if the ferret is straining at the leash, his experienced middle-aged owner may decide to keep looking for a more promising bunny burrow, away from the nasty prickly briar patch.

In short: without having more than one book of tickets on myself, I believe I'd be quite a prize for a lot of women that I'd fancy, despite 2 big strikes against me:

I'm not selfishly masterful enough to sufficiently keep down some of the high-fliers that I've fancied (including my Ex); and I'm not a quarter rich enough for the obsessive guarders of enormous nest-eggs, who usually happen to share my cultural background most closely.

I even rent where I live, and my reliable car which I bought 3 years ago, is now 18! Definitely less brass than class, that fellow! Povvo yet!

To sum up: over 80% of the hundred got the veto from me - very often just because I had absolutely no inclination at all to see or feel them wearing less - whether or not they fancied me. Takes 2 to tango, and for me, the tango is largely a 2-mind-game.

At least another 10% gave me the thunbs-down, including three who couldn't wait to escape from my odious presence - one even burnt her coffee-date mouth in her hurrry.

A couple who'd claimed to be single were actually only separated, and I don't go there.

Another kept me in her diary for about 8 dates over 9 weeks, then when I said "How about your place or mine, after our next date?" she suddenly decided that at 10 years older. I was too old for that with her, and shot through.

But so far I've made 2 very dear new platonic friends - in touch with each by phone or visit, several times a week.

And still looking for someone who thinks that being my bedmate would be a real turn-on. For us both. And is willing to start going down that path.

Must zoom out belatedly and earn my Melbourne plane tickets. Seeyezall.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 1, 2008 1:02 PM

"OK, day 3 of staying on topic .... is anyone else interested in the topic?

"How did you know that this person might be the one?"

Well, if anyone is following ... I had 4 dates and 2 of those went further. How did I know that either of these people might be the one? .... I think if a person fullfills all or most of what you are looking for in a partner and you feel a strong initial connection with them, then there is a chance that they could be the one. I personally have felt this once and hope to feel it again one day. I think you know almost immediately if there is a strong connection (a spark) and from there on you just do your best to explore the possibilities.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 1, 2008 8:58 AM "

Wnw I think it's all about chemistry, but chemistry has to be a two way thing. Then there is the issue of one person not being able to really commit despite the meeting and the initial intimacy and the great dates.
I can feel like I've met the one, I can spend time with him, date, he can ring my bells on all counts, but unless he REALLY wants the same things I do then it's not going to work (despite us having discussed it and agreed to having similar values).
I guess it's like riding a bike, but each time you get back on you pull that helmet on sooner and buckle it up a bit tighter.

Posted by: gypsynurse at February 1, 2008 12:53 PM

"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."
William James

Posted by: woodnwine at February 1, 2008 12:04 PM

Fair point decoratress ... I agree, it takes two to argue.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 1, 2008 11:29 AM

btw, stoic...

May I add my Welcome Back to the others.

Uncommon sense is vastly appreciated, as is a sense of humour!

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 11:29 AM

Hi WATERBOMBE (9.39am)

1) So glad you liked my D.I.Y. idea, posted @ 3.58am. I made my living as an efficiency expert in my long-distant 20s, and have always believed that D.I.Y. was far more soul-satisfying than sitting back in the britchen, passing the buck and wishing and moaning. Especially for the onlookers.

2) And thank you so much ma'am for saying such unexpected nice things about me. I am all overcamed, so to speak.

3) I only called you a certain very-appropriate and long-remembered name while you were previously clocked on as a super-zealous and offensively-officious P.C. policehuman, busy working the RSVP-blogs beat. (That's Politically Correct, Trevor, not Police Constable.)

I actually had the feeling at that time that you were really less about P.C. than busy bouncing a newbie who didn't know his rightful subordinate place, ie. that it was really a peck-order thing. (Were you one of the first onto these blogs, and in your then-uncoupled state, still feeling territorial about the blogs?)

But I didn't say so till I recently read several bits of very sound stuff from you here, and heard that you are a close friend of wee Nina. Any friend of Nina's has got to be OK actually, no matter how far she had previously got up my nose.

4) And if the Fair-dinkum-searching, Visible-profile Singles Checkout-fest doesn't eventuate for the 10th of Feb, I already have several invitations to another gabfest on the previous day, so my weekend won't be completely empty.

See you there I hope, and congrats on being disqualified from the one on the 10th, for nearly 2 months so far.

But you know me - no moss on my shoes, so I'd like to go out on the town both days.

But I better check for it on my teeth now, before I leave to deliver the A3 drawing board (She's a quilter.)

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 1, 2008 11:25 AM

woodnwine...

"...just read your post from last night ...and of course the somewhat needless arguments that ensued"

I was there.
It didn't seem much like an argument to me... it takes two to argue.

On my part, a little ironic humour may have become involved.. but while I was the main target of her dummy spit, I certainly don't consider I 'argued' with her.......
.......one can't argue with a stream of invective
.......it doesn't understand you.

What it seemed like was picseetragic tabling her opinions as facts... resulting in several people questioning this... then picsee hurling mindless insults at them.

?

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 10:44 AM

timewarper .... I read most of your posts and find them interesting. I have also met you and you are a charming, engaging person .... so the thing I can't understand is, if you have met more than 100 women in the last 2 years (that's one for every week) why do you think it is that you haven't met any that you want to continue to date? I am asking this in all seriousness as I would have thought that you would make friends easily, so why do you think there has never been any "spark"?

Posted by: woodnwine at February 1, 2008 10:27 AM

Stoic my friend! How nice it is to see you on the blogs again, you have indeed been missed. Hop on a plane and come to lunch on the 9th. I'll save you a seat!

Posted by: ninaschen at February 1, 2008 10:15 AM

Stoic, I'm glad you are back too, I don't know you but I heard such good things about you from the other bloggers... you were really missed.

Posted by: waterbombe at February 1, 2008 9:42 AM

Timewarp, congrats on your idea for Femalepersuason to organise a single bloggers get together in Melbourne. I certainly hope she does...what fun you would all have!! And you or she might meet a prospective partner ... an even more enticing prospect.
Can I just say as a Doberman sister (That's what you called me once, but hey, I do forgive (but clearly I don't forget)) that I admire and enjoy your posts...you show such wit and insight, honestly (I'm being genuine here). The other thing I like about you is that at 72 you have not given up...you are obviously a strong lively appealing sort of guy with a lot of energy for life. Good on you, and go for it! And if FP fails to come to the party, well, some of the rest of us will just have to step into the breech and arrange something for you when you are down here. But what am I saying, I have no doubt FP will spring into action now and arrange a single bloggers meeting at her own expense and in her own time.

Posted by: waterbombe at February 1, 2008 9:39 AM

OK, day 3 of staying on topic .... is anyone else interested in the topic?

"How did you know that this person might be the one?"

Well, if anyone is following ... I had 4 dates and 2 of those went further. How did I know that either of these people might be the one? .... I think if a person fullfills all or most of what you are looking for in a partner and you feel a strong initial connection with them, then there is a chance that they could be the one. I personally have felt this once and hope to feel it again one day. I think you know almost immediately if there is a strong connection (a spark) and from there on you just do your best to explore the possibilities.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 1, 2008 8:58 AM

pixiemagic ... just read your post from last night ... and of course the somewhat needless arguments that ensued. What concerned me though, is that you are going on a public blog apparently stating that as you are past child bearing age, you are no longer interested in sex. Surely this won't bring the men running. I am 52, a little younger than you granted, but I am still VERY interested in sex .... in a relationship of course. Perhaps you should explain yourself a little better??

Posted by: woodnwine at February 1, 2008 8:52 AM

decoratress - $1000 and your car - bargain !!!!
If only that would do the trick :)

Posted by: jenjen57 at February 1, 2008 7:47 AM

G... hmmm not sure whats going on, have sent a message to Ninaschen with my email... will send another? It shouldn't bounce back.. very strange!! Will check it out! :-)

And STOIC!! YAY!! where have you been?

Posted by: seraphsuzie at February 1, 2008 6:18 AM

GOPIESDOTCOM @ 12.54pm on 31st

1) My dictionary is the one that I swallowed when I was about ten. Well that's what my bumpkin classmates reckoned. Yes, it is a very big one, and that's probably why I've still got such a big mouth. Hysteresis.

2) Olive branch good. Make wreath for Olympic champion. Stop stop - that laurel wreath. Sorry sorry. Olive branch for wave, when white flag too embarrassing for male ego.

Got my own ego surgically removed about forty years ago. Too prickly to sit on. Grew steatopyginous cushion in its place. Two pick-handles wide. Takes pressure off me when I blog, with or without L.

3) Happy to shake your hand, unless you are too friendly with Mrs Palmer, that sinful Jezebel. Will I give you my address, so you can airmail it to me?

No - that wouldn't work. Can't email you till I can see your profile ... By the way, does it list all your aliases, like istj?

First kookaburra just reminded me it's not as dark as it was 10 minutes ago. That's the trouble with a good, long first date - the booze and company jazzes me up, and I'm hyper all night.

Taking her my A3 drawing board in the morning, so must nap first for a couple of hours.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 1, 2008 6:10 AM

Once upon a time there was a husband who always demanded that the lights be out while they were at it.

After ten years, the wife interrupted some very enjoyable proceedings by suddenly turning on the light. To her dismay, she saw that she was actually getting her jollies from Mr Rotating Eccentric Weight.

She said some VERY uncomplimentary things to her husband about being a useless slacker, but he kept his cool.

When she'd finished, he said "OK - now it's my turn - I've got a question for you. It's about our 3 children."

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 1, 2008 5:25 AM

PIXIE MAGIC @ 9.58pm, 31st.

Again, I am going out on a limb/ swimming against the torrent etc. to support your unpopular argument.

1) The Catholic and some other fundamentalist churches - and the fictional heathen government in "1984" are among the powerful forces who keep busy spreading the self-serving propaganda that sex is only for procreation.

Some go as far as declaring that if you enjoy it, it's sinful, no matter who was pressing your buttons - and especially if it was Mrs Palmer, or Mr Rotating Eccentric Weight.

Others go as far as employing female circumcision, to try to stop women from being ABLE to enjoy it.

This line of thinking could possibly lead to your first thesis, pixiemagic, that when you're old enough to stop needing to worry about contraception, fate (disguised in whatever form you can relate to), steals away the opportunities for you to have sinful fun that's now become even more enjoyable (and therefore sinful) by lack of worry about the consequences.

2) This thesis could then be extended to excuse you from seeking 'earthly pleasures' for yourself after menopause. So when you don't attract men by doing whatever you're doing to try to attract men, you can say it's not your fault - it's fate.

That sounds to me like the idea of pre-destination, which I see as the world's biggest cop-out. (Minimal locus of control, to you psycho types.)

3) So I agree with your second last sentence that we have to reject all this inhibiting propaganda, and go for it.

4) And I'm very sorry you got so upset by the people who were rubbishing the argument that you had already told them in your initial post that you had discarded already.

I think they should read others' postings more carefully, before they use their mouth to check their shoe size. Especially once they saw how easily you were upset.

I suspect you were actually ventilating a real worry that you are having at present about not meeting enough acceptable men - and that you hoped to get some helpful feedback from some of us. What a disappointment for you!

Come on fellers, have a look at her profile. And P.M - forget co-dependency - get busy and check theirs out too. And start kissing in earnest.

On my first day in RSVP I quickly skimmed the profiles of all the RSVP femmes between 50 and 70, who were living within 50km of me.

There were 887 of them, and it took me a gruelling 14-hour Saturday shift to draft out the 250-odd "not-impossibles" and put them in the holding yard that RSVP calls "Favourites".

Then I started sending out about 8 to 10 kisses a week to these, from which I'd get 2 or 3 who'd answer positively. That usually leads to a date within a month. Led to four all-evening dinner dates one exhausting week - had to take the next week off to recover.

In a word: I believe you deserve superb sex for as long as you can and will provide it for your partner, and my next post is a very short story about that.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 1, 2008 5:12 AM

....

is it safe now?

....

yup, looks like picseetragic has retrieved her dummy & wandered off.

Really, though... I fail to understand why people seem comfortable presenting themselves as abusive & aggressive on these blogs- when the whole point of being on this site is to attract someone who..... likes you? ..thinks you're ..nice? ..pleasant?

Isn't that called shooting oneself in the foot?

Oh... that's right...

...they don't KNOW they're being abusive & aggressive...

sigh

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 3:58 AM

FEMALE PERSUASION @ most of the last week:

Yes please! I'll take you up on that! I'm single, and I'm really desperate to get in a relationship - over a hundred RSVP first dates in the last 2 years would have to prove that. (Last one a 3-hour dinner tonight, so I'm posting in the small hours.)

I'll be down in Melbourne from Brisbane on business before and after Sunday the 10th of Feb, but have nothing programmed yet for all of that day.

Could you please do me a really big favour? Just organise an unofficial Melbourne get-together for RSVP singles who have their profiles showing AND are looking for a real relationship including s*x (rather than just some wussy platonic friends), and invite NOBODY else. No invisible bloggers, and especially no irrelevant couples, to take our eye off the ball.

Don't ask RSVP to do it for you, or even to approve it. I've been to their singles' meetings in Brisbane, and you could do better - you've proved on these blogs that you've got a lot of good theoretical knowledge about sociology.

And it's not hard - I did it for the Brisbane bloggers' gabfest last month, and it only took me ten days to get half a dozen people, before we merged with wraecca's mob.

To minimise cost, and more importantly, to get intelligent literate people that you and I would relate to, I suggest you advertise it in the current blogs, with the following methodology:

Anyone who reads the ad in a blog and wants to come just has to send me 2 free kisses on the same day, both with the message "I'd like to get to know you better." Then I send them a stamped email advising the venue and time, as I did to a number of people before the Brisbane one.

Or, if you want to put YOUR money where your keyboard is, FP, tell them to send the 2 kisses to you, instead of to me, and you email them back.

And list me as your first acceptance, here and now. I really enjoy discussing/debating with feisty opinionated women, and expect there'd be a couple there at least.

But if you feel unequal to this simple social duty, FP, let's just drop this idea of yours quietly, and get back single-mindedly to responding positively to the set blog topics, rather than riding our personal hobby-horses to death. In a word, FP, put up or shut up. OK?

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 1, 2008 3:58 AM

Hi Pixiemagic,

Too tired to go through the endless blogs so, will you be kind enough to fill me in on your issue, though I gather that it might be about bloggers with hidden profiles?

I will await you response before I comment further as I dont want to make a bigger dill of myself than I may already be, if you would be so kind as to respond?

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at February 1, 2008 2:41 AM

Decoratess;

Shhh, you are giving away our secrets, after all, we are a clique, all 75 of us!!!

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at February 1, 2008 2:30 AM

& Hi Bob..

hahaha- welcome to the show!

...it's provided some fascinating insights tonight, wouldn't you say?

Look forward to meeting you at lunch.

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 1:59 AM

mixiepagic...

"I rest my case!!"

Does THIS mean you're going?

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 1:48 AM

Hi All,

Any comment I could make after what has preceeded this is superfluous.

I live in NSW and an going to Melbourne to meet the friends that I have made on the blogs. They may think that I am naive, or they even may think that I am an imbecile, but they treat me with respect - who knows, who cares....they like me and I like them.

As for the desperate women and "old boilers" who would do anything to get any man....hey, I'm a show at least (sorry to disappoint you Eric, I know you think that I am not a man); and what a way to go.

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at February 1, 2008 1:31 AM

decoratress ..I rest my case!!

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 1, 2008 1:30 AM

decoratress ..like I said you are faceless and weak!!!!

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 1, 2008 1:29 AM

oh & pixx...

um... I didn't 'critique' your profile...

Why would I look at it?

I critiqued your manners.

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 1:23 AM

$1000?

and my car? (details on request)

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 1:19 AM

decoratress..you are another faceless idiot!!!! how dare you critique others that actually show their profile for you to ridicule and reject as you see fit without them having input into your own...how week are you???....faceless!! you are!! get lost!!!

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 1, 2008 1:17 AM

pukeymanners...

Maybe ridersonthestorm74 wasn't interested enough to look past the first one?

You know.... seeing as you're so unpleasant?

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 1:07 AM

ridersonthestorm74 ...well you obviously didnt look into all the photos to see the current updates todate jan 08...hello!!!!

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 1, 2008 12:51 AM

PIXIE
Just wondering why you have in your profile:

If you contact me, be real, single and emotionally free -- I only respond to contacts with photos and please make sure its uptodate.

But your photo is dated 2005 ? double standards it seems.

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at February 1, 2008 12:45 AM

peskymisfit...

Does the "good luck!!!" mean you're going?

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 12:45 AM

Just wondering why you have in your profile:

If you contact me, be real, single and emotionally free -- I only respond to contacts with photos and please make sure its uptodate.

But your photo is dated 2005 ? double standards it seems.

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at February 1, 2008 12:43 AM

Wishfulthinker even :)

Posted by: stoic at February 1, 2008 12:33 AM

Nah Wishfulthiner, I am suffering under a crippling mortgage. The poor part fits me too well :)

Posted by: stoic at February 1, 2008 12:32 AM

Well I'll put my hand up for the "poor" part - been a while since last pay day - Stoic you can be the misguided one...you're a block...you often get lost, and that leaves the "unintelligent idiot" to pixie - what was it you said - "if it fits, wear it". Decoratress you have to miss out this time - sorry - wasn't enough insults to share :)

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at February 1, 2008 12:25 AM

Wishful, it goes great with those jeans :)

And what really accentuates the look is the bemused look on your face when faced with a completely underwhelming opponent.

Posted by: stoic at February 1, 2008 12:21 AM

Decoratress a dictator???

Now that is the funniest thing l have heard all day!!!.....and its been a long one at that.........K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 1, 2008 12:20 AM

I am convinced you are all a bunch of poor misguided unintelligent idiots!!!...good luck!!!

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 1, 2008 12:18 AM

hahahaHAHAHA....

my goodness!
we ARE having fun here tonight aren't we boys & girls!

OK.... $500

Pleeease.... SOMEone....

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 12:17 AM

Well pixie...had you punctuated your statement correctly then maybe decoratess' insult would have been more clear....I shall wear it - hey Stoic..does dictator go nice with these jeans I've got on??

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at February 1, 2008 12:15 AM

Well wishfulthinker dictator was not meant for you but that decoratress...however if you accept it then wear it!

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 1, 2008 12:13 AM

wishfulthinker03 - you should never argue with an idiot (even a pixiebrained one).

They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience

Posted by: stoic at February 1, 2008 12:11 AM

Dictator? Well I've been called a lot of things before, but never that - thank you - I shall add it to my list.

I hate to burst ya bubble - but I must have some intelligence, 4 degrees would probably give credence to that statement (2 undergrad, 2 post grad). My limited ability on life - and you know this how?

You wont elaborate Pixie, because you simply can't - you backed yourself into a corner, confusing fact with opinion, make wide-sweeping statements.

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at February 1, 2008 12:07 AM

In the interests of the peace & love, I'm offering $100 to anyone who can get pissymanic to f..k off.

Any takers?

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 12:06 AM

dictator...you are a fool and obviously not gifted with too much intelligence..wishfulthinker03 shame oh shame that you are teaching anyone with your limited ability on life and yes very scary thank god you arent teaching my kids...I wont even elaborate here as most of you poor people dont get it!!

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 1, 2008 12:01 AM

Suzie... your emails are bouncing back.. ????? "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at February 1, 2008 12:00 AM

Hahaha Rider.....you think?

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 31, 2008 11:59 PM

wish- it does seem someone's buttons are being pressed on here :)

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 31, 2008 11:52 PM

poxiemidget...

You are a dill.

And a rude one.

Posted by: decoratress at January 31, 2008 11:48 PM

also strongly believe nature has a plan...from the beginning of each newborn it is pre-programmed to procreate and keep the masses happening...remember when you were much younger and of course child bearing age...it was soooo easy to meet up with someone and have a relationship. Now when we are middleaged and passed nature's plan for procreating...guess what happens...she is no longer interested and you are now out of the plan because you can no longer participate!

Pixie..how can this be "a fact" if you "strong believe". I strongly believe chocolate should be the bottom of the food pyramid, doesn't mean it will ever happen.

I don't think for a minute mother nature has anything to do with it - she has no "over-riding plan". And yes Pixie, I read...widely. What's more they trust me to instil my knowledge upon the next generation - scarey thought isn't it - but this reminds me of today's English lesson - the difference between "fact" and "opinion"

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 31, 2008 11:46 PM

Weehoo Rider...does that mean I get to press all your buttons??

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 31, 2008 11:42 PM

just press them all ...something is bound to work ...thats what we do and please don't bother with the instructions either :)

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 31, 2008 11:40 PM

wishfulthinker03...it has nothing to do with giving up either!!

Posted by: pixiemagic at January 31, 2008 11:39 PM

Middle aged people are less attracted to others because they are past procreation age?

Apart from the mountains of anecdotal evidence I am sure everyone has to the contrary, what of all this talk about women not hitting their sexual peak until 35-40?

This I gotta hear...

Posted by: stoic at January 31, 2008 11:39 PM

wishfulthinker03..of course procreation is the only reason for sex...are you stupid??...dont you read anything??!!

Posted by: pixiemagic at January 31, 2008 11:38 PM

Might just have to borrow you Rider, I'm hopless with the remote - and don't even begin to tell me how to use all those other buttons on the silly thing!

Pixie...too indepth? Give me a break - just what are the "likes of most of you"??

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 31, 2008 11:29 PM

Well good on you all you knockers!!!...laugh and poo poo it if you want but its a fact!!! obviously tooooo indepth for the likes of most of you!

Posted by: pixiemagic at January 31, 2008 11:19 PM

HEY ...WISH ...you can borrow my batteries for your remote :)

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 31, 2008 11:16 PM

Please tell me that procreation wasn't the only reason for sex! I'm not giving up because I'm past mother nature's plans - no thanks....too many good years without the "worry" attached. I can certainly particpate and I am still interested....interesting theory Pixie, but alas, not one I subscibe to

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 31, 2008 11:10 PM

pixiemagic @ 9.58pm...

"Now when we are middleaged & past nature's plan for procreating...guess what happens...she is no longer interested & you are now out of the plan because you can no longer participate!"

um.....

speak for yourself?

hahaha... I'm interested...

doublehahaha... he can participate extremely well thank you...

Generalisation is trap.
I find it interesting how many posts contain the phrases "we all...", "none of us...", "everybody...", "no-one...", etc.

While there are trends & traits in all age groups, a sizeable number of us are quite individual.
I'm constantly amazed to find strangers stating categorically what I do, think, say or am interested in....

Posted by: decoratress at January 31, 2008 11:05 PM

Boys and their toys......

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 31, 2008 11:00 PM

True ....I have 4 remotes :)

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 31, 2008 10:55 PM

Hahaha Rider...I'm sure they are there somewhere......I'm sure you can make things work regardless....boys and remotes are so closely connected :)

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 31, 2008 10:43 PM

ZAP

...there, they've gone!

(just call me helpful)

Posted by: decoratress at January 31, 2008 10:42 PM

This is my first comment on RSVP Blogs, although I have read them and found them to be enjoyable and educational.

I wrote something earlier that disappeared into the ether.

It was about 8 years ago, when the internet was not mainstream, there was MiRC, with many chat channels, one of which was called Club34plus, the plus being usually a minimum of 10.
We had meetings and get togethers which were a good chance for people to physically interact with others they may have chatted to sometimes every night.

They were great, much the same as the melbourne lunch event previously mentioned here. I suspect similar dynamics, some would flirt, others would chat, and still others would break into the more traditional groupings, blokes in one corner, and women in another corner.

I dont feel our every waking moment has to be obsessed with finding a partner of the opposite sex. That seems really needy, it is nice to have a venue such as this, where we can be ourselves. I mean surely our blogs say much more about the real person than our carefully constructed profiles can ever do.

To be part of a community is also valid, to have our say, and then to see what others think of what we had to say is important, it makes us feel not alone.

I feel the blogs are a natural progression from the chat channels, they certainly are more interactive than TV.

I do not feel that RSVP blogs need to be solely about boy meets girl, life is more than that.

Clearly, blogs are available to the whole RSVP community, yet few people avail themselves of the opportunity to chat in real time with others, I feel many more people read these blogs than those who contibute to them. Maybe like myself, in time they will comment.

I feel the blogs add much richness to RSVP, where we dont have to take things so seriously

Posted by: virgil at January 31, 2008 10:40 PM

Hey Wish ! where are the batteries ? did you hide them in someone's profile ?

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 31, 2008 10:38 PM

Hi all, this is my first go at blogging and thought I would make a comment. While I am sure there are plenty of success stories I am slowly becoming pessimistic about it here. I can't begin to tell you how many kisses I have sent just to either get no reply or a "currently responding to someone else". It feels like a bit of a meat market and if you haven't got the best sales pitch forget it. I think I am ok and a good all rounder but nothings happening even now just before Valentines. Don't any women want to be treated with respect and romanced any more.
I am at a loss so I am interested in hearing what you think!

Posted by: guy2love at January 31, 2008 10:32 PM

Here's the Remote Rider....change away!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 31, 2008 10:32 PM

aliane...

I tried to send you a kiss but can't because my profile's hidden- so here it is now...

MWAH!!!

Posted by: decoratress at January 31, 2008 10:29 PM

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....please change the channel zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 31, 2008 10:15 PM

You stay away for a couple of days and come back to a case of deja vu...when is this crap over who has lunch with whom going to stop??? It's been done to death!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 31, 2008 10:02 PM

ok guys ..here are my thoughts and a lot will probably throw their hands up in disgust!.

I'm talking to the middle aged of us right now ...yes you and me...we are all beautiful people but lets just think about where we are right now with our lives, thoughts, beliefs and our dating success.

Why is it soooo hard,different and difficult???...1. because at our age we have experience and have learnt through pain and hardship what not to do again... 2. because of that experience we are choosy..we now know what we want and we dont enter into easy/frivilous relationships so easily. 3. I also strongly believe nature has a plan...from the beginning of each newborn it is pre-programmed to procreate and keep the masses happening...remember when you were much younger and of course child bearing age...it was soooo easy to meet up with someone and have a relationship. Now when we are middleaged and passed nature's plan for procreating...guess what happens...she is no longer interested and you are now out of the plan because you can no longer participate!...hey dont worry about that..its up to us to find our own plan.

Sorry if this is a bit over the top but think about it.

Posted by: pixiemagic at January 31, 2008 9:58 PM

Can someone please explain to me why it is apparently unacceptable to form friendships through RSVP?

Posted by: origami1107 at January 31, 2008 9:52 PM

Back later going down to the 'Blue Room' to watch a movie with my 16 year old daughter.

Which reminds me has anyone seen 'Keeping Mum'?

What a classic! I watched it yesterday and absolutely loved it.

Posted by: mstingle at January 31, 2008 8:38 PM

was just wondering whether it is possible to find love at all in Western Australia!!

Posted by: lovelife08 at January 31, 2008 8:32 PM

Silly thing posted with out me sending it.

There would have been several others too including WmW and Timewarp1, just to say that's the spirit and FP you too, now you are looking at what could be done possibly instead of what wasn't done:)

Posted by: mstingle at January 31, 2008 8:28 PM

Posted by: waterbombe at January 31, 2008 7:26 PM

Posted by: twoeyes at January 31, 2008 7:42 PM

Posted by: mstingle at January 31, 2008 8:24 PM

Hmmm.. this is what I think... lightning strikes of good stuff occassionally happen to us, and sometimes daggers of bad stuff happen to us. You can't predict when the lightning or daggers will happen to you, it's random. But you can increase the chance of lightning by getting out and meeting more people, in person or on line, it doesn't matter which. If you are out more, you are more likely to be struck by lightning. Which is a good thing, in this analogy. So the first thing to do is to get out and meet people, which everyone on this site is to be congratulated for. They are increasing their exposure to lightning of the nicest possible kind. And bloggers are increasing their exposure even more. (Which is one reason bloggers who are in relationships have hidden profiles, so they don't have to continually respond to the increased interest in them). Quite a few bloggers have hooked up with other bloggers... this is one way to find love on RSVP. If you just read and don't blog yet, think about writing something...go on, take a chance... it will increase your exposure to other singles a lot and you just might attract Mr or Ms Right.

Gee, I sound like i work for RSVP...I don't , honest. I have a job, a good one. It's not even in Sales.

Posted by: waterbombe at January 31, 2008 8:24 PM

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 31, 2008 7:15 PM

Yes a bloggers meet organised by RSVP would be indeed a good idea maybe you could suggest it to them.

It would be good if anything thing could be organised for the Fraser Coast at all for example, no matter what type of function.

RSVP organises functions for singles in Brisbane and up to Noosa on the the Sunshine Coast, then there is nothing until possibly Townsville, Cairns. So us non city folk either have to tweedle our thumbs or travel hours to get to anywhere.

Amazing really when Hervey Bay for example is one of the fastest growing cities in Queensland and becoming quite a tourist mecca, including for overseas visitors. Fraser Island being the bigggest draw card.

Also there are many restuarants too from el cheepo to 5 star.

Posted by: mstingle at January 31, 2008 8:18 PM

OK waterbombe ... back to topic. Yes, it's possible to find love on RSVP. I met someone who I really liked and would have bent over backwards for. She, unfortunately, didn't feel exactly the same so I am moving on but if it can happen once I'm sure it an happen again. Think positive.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 31, 2008 7:58 PM

I have found it.. just not on here and boy am i ever looking forward to Valentines Day.. he he .. :-)
Actually am more looking forward to this weekend.. to a gorgeous guy and some lovely time spent together!

Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 31, 2008 7:53 PM

i believe that meeting someone takes three things........................

POSITION POSITION POSITION................

I.E position in where you are in your life....................

position in where you are in your head................

position in what time of what day of what week of what month of what year is it...............

If they are all in position then thats the one, and maybe after all that , then you didnt find them but they found you........

Posted by: twoeyes at January 31, 2008 7:42 PM

No comment, FP.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 31, 2008 7:39 PM

One more thing.

Femalepersuaion, if you try to engage me in di