RSVP Blog

"And I don't buy the argument of WnW and others that if the person is nice and you persevere with her, you may eventually find her sexually attractive too. It may well work for you if she's a slow-blooming introvert - not for me." Posted by: timewarp1 at February 2, 2008 9:51 PM

Timewarper - you misunderstood. I agree that it either works or it doesn't, but I was saying it may not happen on the first meeting ... but it should happen by the 2nd or it probably won't. Some people are nervous or shy on the 1st meeting and loosen up on the 2nd and you get to know them better and you will maybe even see them differently.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 4, 2008 8:57 AM

VDU,

Great - we should make a live party of it at Kareela... or wherever. Anyway, hope you get to visit our fair (but very rainy at the moment) city..

Cheers, GTTC.

Posted by: greattimestocome at February 3, 2008 9:19 PM

Thanks Kaz, I look forward to listening soon - I heard snippets on the radio today and I was most impressed pet!

GTTC was at Willow's virtual dinner and he was curious about one of the cocktails... we intend to try it if/when I go up to visy my girlfriend in Sydney - GTTC lives about 10 mins from her place.

Cheers!!!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at February 3, 2008 7:10 PM

VDU the JJ cd's are in the process as we type pet........and what is this about shouting??................K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 3, 2008 6:41 PM

And yes, I'll give you a shout and I'll even shout you that drink!!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at February 3, 2008 6:17 PM

GTTC...

I still haven't decided if I will come up to Oyster Bay, but if I do it will be about the 18th of Feb.

Posted by: victoriadownunder at February 3, 2008 6:15 PM

music4two @ 1.58pm:

Accurate, eloquent and concise. Please keep posting, because you have got it dead right, mate.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 3, 2008 2:06 PM

TimeWarp1
keep that tongue cheekily in your cheek
I had responded to your post previously but the blog gremlins seem to have eaten the said post.. must have been a tasty morsel.
1. The name you enquire into is shybutperky, I beleive her demise at rsvp was getting to much of a life to fit in the required reading on the site.. A good thing perhaps.
2. The pied piper I alluded to was by way of everything worthwhile in life requires effort to be put in by BOTH parties.
WoodNWine
My galley will also be open when I return to brissy for a week, but I'll call and we'll chat. I'm sure looking forward to some home town hospitality. Country towns are not always as hospitable as one would imagine.
I'm looking forward to coming home to 'backward' brisvegas (a name by the way it's trying to shed) at the end of my contract,
I was reading on a different blog someone disparaging what our little town had to offer,.. my words to you are .. be it ever so humble there's no place like home.. and with that am furiously clicking the heels of my red shiny shoes.

Posted by: gypsynurse at February 3, 2008 2:02 PM

jenjen57, I do agree with your words of wisdom. It sounds as if you have been there and tripped the light funtastic cyberwise. I usually walk away if the meeting just doesn�t seem to happen after the exchange of many emails and phone calls of promises to meet. I try and set up a meeting as soon as possible if previous exchanges of chat are enjoyable, no matter how nervous I may feel at the time. If my nerves are still on edge after 20 or so minutes into a coffee and chat meeting I know either hasn�t warmed to the other so I will not persevere, knowing a close friendship isn�t going to happen, but I will try and enjoy the time spent as both people have made an effort to meet with each other. Long distance relationships are a loss also no matter how often two people may travel huge distances to spend extended time with each other.

From my observations, after coming out of a long marriage or partnership no matter whether stimulating or mentally debilitating, one has to deal with the grieving stages of it ending, and on most occasions the very next person we may have a close relationship with never lasts for ever but usually is short lived and both finally move on to other playing fields.

Forming a close relationship the older we age becomes more and more difficult as we have become very set in our ways living a solo life style displaying more involvement with grand children, as we concentrate our love on adult siblings and their families. Individual hobbies can become another time consuming passion. �God� says he �I almost need a diary to keep track of a busy life style, Ha! Ha!� What ever happened to personally intermingling publicly communicating with social skills instead of making friends hiding behind a computer screen tap dancing across the keyboard choreographing messages which lack any form of body language to the avid reader who try to visualize their own meanings of the written expressions?

Posted by: music4two at February 3, 2008 1:58 PM

I'm with you on that one Sue4you - camping is out - I know there are lovely places, great facilities etc, but anywhere I have to walk to find a bathroom or shower is not going to make me a "happy camper"

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at February 3, 2008 1:16 PM

sue4you - camping can be so much fun !
You just need to choose the right spot :)

Posted by: jenjen57 at February 3, 2008 12:24 PM

mmmm, I take that abck. There is one thing I regret and I'll never go camping again.

Posted by: sue4you at February 3, 2008 12:10 PM

Can you find love on RSVP? Who knows, but the money spent on the stamps has been well worth it. I've made friends, had my heart broken and learnt some valuable lessons, nothing of which I regret.

Posted by: sue4you at February 3, 2008 8:39 AM

There are plenty of successful online dating stories that end in marriage or longterm relationships.
But the reason why they got from A-Z is that EVENTUALLY THEY MET FACE TO FACE!
Sometimes, the cyber dance can drag on for months---you can get into a 'holding pattern' where one or the other (or both) of you becomes seized with insecurity that what if when we meet in person he/she doesn't like me?
So you put it off...and put it off...and by the time you meet you know everything about this other person and there's not a whole lot of mystry left to uncover.
There IS such a thing as waiting too long and letting the sizzle fizzle---computer screens can give a sexy anonymity initially but that will not keep your toes, or anything else, warm at night :)

Posted by: jenjen57 at February 3, 2008 3:05 AM

hey paridisio, so far I have been the only regular blogger from the kapital, except for a guy that only blogs occaisionally. I have made many friends on the blogs, but they are all Melbourne, Brisbane, Sydney, Adelaide and some NSW locations. When we wanted to make contact, we used our stamps, and things grew from there!!! they are mostly online, but I have met up with a few, and the friendships are very real.

When I first joined RSVP, I never expected to make friends, but that is what has happened, friends , both male and female..it is gr8!! Have a lovely evening...jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at February 2, 2008 11:07 PM

timewarp1 No I am not a lay preacher. I read far too many profile request descriptions set out as if professional vacancy adverts based on past trials and tribulations with such narrow viewed requirements that not many males or females could ever hope to fill with happiness. I live my life as posted with out one angry word or cynical comment cast. I always feel happiness in what ever I do thankfully. I lived at one stage within a marriage of constant anger aimed at me, but that is past tense because the sun happily shines on me these days as I live in today's contempory world.

I have also found that one has to deal with living on their own before they can harmonise a relationship.

Posted by: music4two at February 2, 2008 10:37 PM

Beauty and Love can be found everywhere. The problem lies within the individual definition, and it takes two to tango.
To find out whether one has found true love one must wait at least thirty years or more. At this point in time, if you can both honestly say that you'd like to continue in the relationship and provided that you're not dependent on each other and afraid to leave, gather friends and relatives and celebrate your union.
Love is selflessness, who, amongst us practices that.

Posted by: thevasilakis at February 2, 2008 10:06 PM

MUSIC4TWO @ 5.46pm

Welcome, and thank you for a really inspiring post. Excellent stuff, and I admire your eloquence. Do you moonlight as a lay preacher?

I specially liked your point that recycled singles tend to be narrowly and negatively focussed - determined to avoid what bugged them in their last relationship, rather than focussing on the positive, and looking for someone who makes them feel good.

I use a two-step process:

1) I weed out the ones who in their profiles already display habits or traits that I do not want in my next Dearest Darling, thank you very much. My own personal Veto factors.

Been there and hated it, or would never have gone there. Key point: Don't want to meet those people, largely in case I might find them tempting.

2) Then I meet as many as possible of the others, looking for evidence that they are people I respect and approve of. And I usually find it.

If so, I look to see if I also find her to be already sexually attractive at our first meeting, because it's a sexual partner I'm primarily looking for at present.

And I don't buy the argument of WnW and others that if the person is nice and you persevere with her, you may eventually find her sexually attractive too. It may well work for you if she's a slow-blooming introvert - not for me.

Because I'm an extrovert looking for another extrovert. That's why my profile has 'larrikin' high up in my perfect-partner wish list.

Just as easily as I can pick a larrikin by the end of 3 hours' continuous deep-and-meaningful, I can also tell if I'll want to hug her, just before I put her into her car at the end of tonight's first date. If not, her driver's door has somehow already got between us.

For me, a slightly-lingering mutually-enjoyed parting hug is the bottom rung of a beautiful ladder that is for climbing rung by rung with mutual enjoyment, AND without undue haste. No matter how high the ladder finally turns out to be. Or not to be.

I believe life and relationships should be climbed one pleasurable rung at a time, to see from each rung whether you want to go on to climb another - not just slide down in a hurry like a firemen's pole, with nothing significant between start and finish.

And yes, music4two, we shouldn't be looking for perfection. But how often do we hear of quite-undesirable men hoping to attract very-desireable women?

I say forget "what would I like?" get real for one minute and focus on "what do I deserve? "

I believe that we deserve our match, and for me that means someone who shares most of my few virtues, and doesn't have the many vices that I don't have, and can't respect in others.

And most of all, she has to think I'm as attractive as I think she is, so I carry a loaner pair of rose-coloured spectacles.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 2, 2008 9:51 PM

timewarper - whether we agree or disagree on meeting proceedures I want to say a big WELL DONE on your enthusiasm and persistance. I just hope I have your great attitude to life when I reach your age ... personally, I think I will but good on you mate. Cheers.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 2, 2008 8:51 PM

synchronicity

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 2, 2008 7:50 PM

Now thats a great book well worth reading...................

Posted by: twoeyes at February 2, 2008 1:29 AM

You read the little chapter on serendipity and synchroncity? It is quite powerful and should give us all hope.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 2, 2008 7:50 PM

Ah well we can only wait and hope for the rest of us waiting to meet that perfect partner cant we?

Posted by: jaspercat at February 2, 2008 3:08 PM

That is quite heartening jaspercat!! Must be nice to do music at a wedding then. Good to hear a positive post like that. I do not think I am looking for the perfect partner (no criticism of your words) but in a way they would be "perfect" for me. : ))) Best wishes in your search of course...

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 2, 2008 7:47 PM

I have read many blogs that are extremely thought out and cleverly scripted, but alas obviously not finding the perfect partner and possibly why the cynicism . As we age many of us seem to become very cynical about our requirements in a future partner and our prospected dating requirements all based on our previous life of mainly hurtful disappointments but tending not on elated relationships. Mr or Mrs Perfect is not out there in cyber land. It is a condition of our wishful thinking. We as relationship seekers restrict our own views and place self inflicted limitations of what we seek in a partner to suit our life style all based on our previous life. In our younger days we chose an opposite not from a hurtful or just grown apart relationship, lacking that experience, but from a view point that we felt good just being with that person wanting to care and stand beside them in what ever their abilities and chosen life style was giving and receiving support within theirs and our needs. A photo and written profile is only a capsulated overview of an individual and not a complete personality description or test as only the real person shines through from more than one live meeting and perhaps if all feels good, nurturing further feelings slowly together and refraining from quickly trying to recreate some type of fast excited happiness we may relate to in our previous younger years. As humans we are inclined to focus far too heavily on the down side and not the pleasurable values of a relationship inhibiting what could be a wonderful future life together. We don’t want to recreate the past but we can relearn to grow in happiness and care for another person our age within the boundaries of love, companionship, and sharing beautiful times together.

Posted by: music4two at February 2, 2008 5:46 PM

PARADISIO,
Yes, although it would be great to meet all the fine people from Melbourne who blog here, it would be a rather indulgent lunch. Although it seems some do visit my fair city sometimes.

VICTORIADOWNUNDER
When did you say you were going to be visiting Oyster Bay/Como/somewhere around there?
And will you be giving me a shout to try that drink? Always up for an outing...

Posted by: greattimestocome at February 2, 2008 4:24 PM

PIXIEMAGIC @ 1.59pm

Thank you for your welcome motherly advice about how I should and shouldn't go about my search for my next Dearest Darling.

I totally agree with you PM, about the pre-date procedure. Minimise it:

* I send kiss (or she does, but if you don't count Manila filipinas, I've only received about 40 or so in 2 years, and when I automatically invited each of them to put their stamp money where their kisser was, about 30 decided I wasn't worth the price of half a packet of smokes. Far too tight or co-dependent for me, dears.)

* I send slightly-personalised standard-form email saying that I like to cut straight to the phone - so please phone my mobile asap to arrange our first date.

(Or if you're too elderly, sex-role-stereotyping or co-dependent to phone a man that you haven't met yet, email me your number and I'll phone.)

No Alice -not those actual words. Longer and gentler. But if she is too whatever to phone, she's probably too inhibited or introverted for me anyway. I am NOT attracted to my opposite, and believe I deserve a smooging tabbycat, not a mouse.

* The single phonecall lets me listen for chainsaw voice and suggest very brief coffee date, instead of usual dinner or lunch, with gabfest till SHE'S all talked out. (usually 3-4 hours - covered all that in a post below.)

This methodology is based on 2 things:

1) I'm genuinely interested in people that I wouldn't want to bed, if they're interesting to LISTEN to. I enjoy their company (at least once) just to listen and talk (under wet cement if necessary.)

The sudden realisation that I don't fancy them sexually does not make ME want to get the hell out of here inside 30 seconds. (Or 25 if possible.) That's missing out on enjoying the present, because you're only focussed on one part of your future.

2) I was born on Dec 13th, and I learned only 5 years ago that it's the Day of Exact Precision. Which I have always had great difficulty escaping.

I should have known - I was already a boring young fart, when I was far too young to be a boring old fart. Sorry to bore you with that, but it's my only excuse. Off to the barber for my monthly $40 pampering.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 2, 2008 3:54 PM

Yes I agree with you xenabella. I am a professional musician and I have played at several weddings where the priest or celebrant has stated they met on RSVP. I have even heard them thank RSVP in the vows!!!! Ah well we can only wait and hope for the rest of us waiting to meet that perfect partner cant we?

Posted by: jaspercat at February 2, 2008 3:08 PM

PIXIEMAGIC @ 11.24AM:

Hi PM

My post that you're asking about was addressed to gypsynurse, and was responding tongue-cheekily-in-cheek to her post that I'd headlined.

The quotes were from her post, and I was asking what HER previous RSVP name had been.

You got a mention only because you had started off that particular discussion topic - and I wanted to acknowledge and affirm you, especially after your resulting trauma during the heated initial discussion of your topic.

And BTW, I agree with you about being roughed up, but what interested me most was the savagery of some of our usual voices of calm and reason, once YOUR claws were right out.

Typical primary schoolyard stuff, but Yes, someone - some of the name adaptions WERE very clever.

Never a dull moment on the blogs, till DullSam and Co get on the turps. All so interestinggg ...

PS (for readers in Melbourne only): In my post at 1.36pm, I gave the wrong date for the get-together that I've suggested FP should herself put on , instead of endlessly fulminating about the one that Ninaschen was going to put on on the 9th as an open-invitation event, but has since had second thoughts about.

I'd suggested the 10th to FP, to leave me free for any other invitations that might eventuate for the 9th.

And it's still the 10th, please, Femalepersuasion.

Pity to waste my only spare holiday weekend day, in my first visit to Melbourne since my brother died there in our motel room at 7am in 1989, while I was in the shower.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 2, 2008 3:03 PM

Yes, you can find love here. I was just in the bridal party of a close friend who met her now husband on rsvp last year.

The good thing is, you have more chance of actually knowing more about the person you are meeting than just bumping into someone in the pub.

Just see the first meeting as just that, meeting up with a like minded person for a drink or meal. I think too many people have unrealistic expectations. If they don't get "thier socks knocked off" they cant be bothered exploring any further.

Posted by: xenabellabeauty at February 2, 2008 2:28 PM

I am trying to contact timewarp on the chat line and cannot get a cursor up, could someone tell me how!

Posted by: oldcodger72 at February 2, 2008 2:23 PM

Timewarp1...have just read a few of your lengthy posts. Hey... I mean this in the nicest way but you are trying far too hard with the dating thing...chill out...dont be so analytical...dont have lengthy email exchanges to start with but arrange to talk on the phone asap then if you both enjoyed that contact arrange to meet asap just for a coffee/drink so there is no commitment to stay longer than necessary if one or both are uncomfortable with the meeting. If its all going well...just enjoy!...dont worry about what you should say next or what she should say.

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 2, 2008 1:59 PM

WOODNWINE @ 10.28am:

Didn't think you were having a go at all, mate. Just misinterpreted the things you've said here and in other blogs, and so overestimated your actual commitment to each new pursuit.

Your last sentence below says it very clearly, and I agree with you.

But I go at it from the opposite viewpoint: inclusivity. She's still on my list until I see an adequate reason to scrub her, at some point in the process. Let me explain:

I get RSVP to search for women living within 25km, because I expect us to keep separate homes for as long as I stay in my space-consuming from-home business - at least another 5 years I hope, and 7 or 10 with luck. Unless she's got a nice big empty shed, of course. That would be even better,

And I ask them for the age range that I've found by experience to be most likely to seem when we meet to be at my own STAGE of aging , even though that happens to be a politically incorrect figure: 5-12 years less than my calendar age.

(I'm a late bloomer. I was last challenged for under-age drinking at 28, and never caught up. Hence my RSVP codename.)

I study each offered profile in 2 steps: first a QUICK SKIM looking for obvious VETO FACTORS, which for me include:

* she's only separated,
* she's looking for a man under 65, over 5 foot 11 and/or skinny, or worse still, all of the above. (I'm 72, 5 foot 8 and weigh just over 100kg, heading for below 90 by August.)
* she admits to smoking (other people's tobacco smoke killed my only son at 18),
* she admits to heavy regular drinking (and/or will lovingly mention plonk, 3 or more times in the fine print - if I later get as far as her fine print),
* she's never had had her own or adopted or fostered children (I'm looking for my match, and they've been through the significant self-sacrifice of child-raising.)
* minimal literacy, and/or the ultra-sketchy details and phonetic mis-spelling that suggest awkwardness with written expression, and/or with complex oral communication.

and because I'm a man, first of all:
* looks that I'd rather not see over the breakfast toble, even once. (I'm NOT into hiding behind a newspaper in the morning.)

If she gets the gong for any one of these reasons, she DOESN'T progress to the next step: a much-more-careful scrutiny of all her fine print, looking for more veto factors, such as:

* says she loves watching male sports on the sofa all weekend with a drink or seven, and only lacks a feller to help her do that,
* hes been to 137 countries so far, but wants a new cost-sharing travelling companion for the next 43,
* feels grey, and is now ready for the nomad bit (or to move next year when she retires to some Coast, a cut-lunch trip away from Brisbane, or
* wants a kind jenlman to keep her company while she sits on the park seat at Redcliffe all day, and watches the waves come in.

No photo? If there are absolutely no bum notes anywhere in her whole text, I ask to see one. At least one man in her RSVP life has to be prepared to jump that hurdle, and then I'll have so much less competition, eh?

After all this evaluation, if there is no visible reason to cross her off the list, she goes into my "Favourites" file, which I actually call "Not-impossibles". About 350 women in that, when RSVP stopped showing the tally on my home page, late last year. Including the 280 approx that I've kissed so far.

So my listing over 300 not-impossibles says that I'm not enormously picky about who to kiss, in the hope of an interesting first meeting (which I'm old-fashioned enough to call a date, because I'll plan for it to last longer than a movie.)

To sum up: I guess you and I both go to the same amount of trouble finding people to send kisses to, but I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt at that stage and let the meeting sort them out, while you tend to be more picky, even before you've sent them a kiss.

Perhaps the difference is that you're only at the beginning of the process, while I've already sent kisses to my 20 or 30 absolute favourites. Did that first (of course), but that was back in Jan 2006. No luck, so keeping on moving on. And on.

May our respective approaches work for both of us, mate, and soon!

PS: Must stop this and go see an across-town customer about some of my airfare for Melbourne, in time for FP's much-anticipated visible-profiled-singles-only get-together on the 12th. And some business customer calls on the 8th (pm) and 11th to 13th. Booked my tickets about 1am last night. Seeyez.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 2, 2008 1:36 PM

should have added ... I have plenty of married friends and now, thanks to RSVP have more single friends.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 2, 2008 1:03 PM

PixieMagic
I think you will find TimeWarp1 was directing both those comments to me.
I believe that I have now addressed his queries on both counts.

shy *_~ perky

Posted by: gypsynurse at February 2, 2008 12:42 PM

TimeWarp 1
By all means feel free to grade my work. I think we could have a very interesting discussion.
When I lived up your neck of the woods I was known as shybutperky.
But I am down here for 6 months and decided to give this a go again, who knows if something remarkable happens perhaps longer. If not then I shall be returning home and attend one of Brissy bloggers lunches (shifts allowing)
As to paying the piper, what I was alluding to was in order to make a relationship work it's a two way street, each party must put in; and this is true for any type of relationship, the boss wants you to work he has to pay you.
Some would argue a relationship shouldn't be work, but from my own experience, (which I won't bore you with here) effort should always be made by both parties, lopsided affairs are never very fulfilling.

Posted by: gypsynurse at February 2, 2008 12:02 PM

Day 4 on topic ... "Or did you find a great friend? And what was that like?"
Yes, I have made some friends through RSVP meetings. Some have lasted, some haven't ... some due to distance have just faded away, some didn't want to be friends ... it was all or nothing. I think it's good to make friends too, as I for one don't have many of single friends that I can just hang-out with.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 2, 2008 11:36 AM

Timewarp1...not sure what you mean about paying the piper?...I also dont expect anything free in life!. Not sure what your last sentence means ..."PS: If I may ask, who were you in your previous life here?"

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 2, 2008 11:24 AM

Timewarper .... I was not having a go at you mate, just discussing different approaches. You suggest I am: "carefully searching for every possible clue to your probable total compatability, and then only approaching a few of the most likely targets - mainly because you are going to invest really heavily emotionally in each first date, both before and during. And be really cast down, each time your latest earnest try doesn't lead to success."

This is not the case at all, I make first meetings very casual and stress-free and I don't recall ever being worried if they didn't work out. It's just that try to only meet people that I think there will be a fair chance of getting on with.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 2, 2008 10:28 AM

GTTC, I was hoping there were a few bloggers in ACT, Melbourne is a long way to go for lunch!

Posted by: paradisio at February 2, 2008 9:57 AM

....

is it safe now?

....

yup, looks like picseetragic has retrieved her dummy & wandered off.

Really, though... I fail to understand why people seem comfortable presenting themselves as abusive & aggressive on these blogs- when the whole point of being on this site is to attract someone who..... likes you? ..thinks you're ..nice? ..pleasant?

Isn't that called shooting oneself in the foot?

Oh... that's right...

...they don't KNOW they're being abusive & aggressive...

sigh

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 3:58 AM

Mirror, mirror on the wall, this is the nastiest blogger of them all.

Posted by: oohlala1 at February 2, 2008 9:15 AM

if someone is open to meeting someone...surely it just happens when its meant to. E Scott Peck has a small chapter about it in "The Road Less Travelled" : ))Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 1, 2008 11:19 PM

Now thats a great book well worth reading...................

Posted by: twoeyes at February 2, 2008 1:29 AM

Age is just a number and people's libidos will not be all the same at the same age.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 1, 2008 11:55 PM

I think if a person fullfills all or most of what you are looking for in a partner and you feel a strong initial connection with them, then there is a chance that they could be the one.

as you posted WnW and also as gypsynurse posted, I think this agrees with her post as well, basically I think that most of us need someone with a similar world view. (and the other points gypsynurse posted). Thinking outside the square can help sometimes though.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 1, 2008 11:53 PM

mstingle did I miss your last day on the blogs? Maybe you will read them. Boo hoo, I am too busy at work to play. Have a good semester then mstingle and your prince will come I am sure. Keep up the humour and good attitude. Nice to be blogging with you and hope to meet you at a bloggers meet or if you visit Adelaide even : ))))

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 1, 2008 11:23 PM

If they are all in position then thats the one, and maybe after all that , then you didnt find them but they found you........

Posted by: twoeyes at January 31, 2008 7:42 PM

I call it synchronicity or maybe serendipity (its why I chose that name - as I believe in it) if someone is open to meeting someone...surely it just happens when its meant to. E Scott Peck has a small chapter about it in "The Road Less Travelled" : ))

Hi to some new bloggers on here then, virgil and paradisio and maybe some others. Sorry its hard to keep up with it all.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at February 1, 2008 11:19 PM

GYPSYNURSE at 1.12pm:

Well thank you ma'am, for giving my latest essay such a good mark.

When you next post something of significant depth and volume, would you like me to return the compliment, and mark it for you? And if so, do you prefer a qualitative verbal mark, or a quantitative appraisal with subtotals?

Just kidding, stranger. You done me ego a real lotta good, like the drop-dead gorgeous young lady who called me a seer a few nights ago, near the end of the Rel #3 blog.

Only 2 hours' sleep last night (6.30am to 8.30am) so I won't search back now and name the darlin' girl, but she made me labours worthwhile, as you just have.

Pixiemagic and I agree with you that as age (and more importantly, experience) progress,

"Some of us .... are quite happy with all that bed space to ourselves without the need to fill it at any cost."

But you and I are on opposite sides of the table re the next part of your post:

"After all nothing in life comes free, it just depends on whether you're willing to pay the piper, so to speak."

I already paid the piper for 30 years. Next time around, she's going to pay him, whoever she is.

PS: If I may ask, who were you in your previous life here?

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 1, 2008 11:12 PM

GTTC, it sounds like you work for an airline...

Posted by: victoriadownunder at February 1, 2008 10:50 PM

Paradisio, sounds good. Although how many bloggers are from CBR? What I've observed so far (and not for long I must say) is there would be good turn-up for BNE and MEL but very few in SYD and CBR...

Posted by: greattimestocome at February 1, 2008 10:40 PM

WOODNWINE @ 6.28 tonight

Hi mate and thanks for your thoughts.

1) You are right. I'm not at all like you, carefully searching for every possible clue to your probable total compatability, and then only approaching a few of the most likely targets - mainly because you are going to invest really heavily emotionally in each first date, both before and during.

And be really cast down, each time your latest earnest try doesn't lead to success.

My initial focus is very different - I'm trying to have a happy and interesting social life in the present, BEFORE I eventually (remember the statistics) meet The One (we both hope) and head slowly towards that hoped-for final state of mutual bliss.

Yes - I really do enjoy the frequent going out, and yes, I'll happily dine once with anyone who will agree to it, and sounds anything better than dead boring. And why not? It's nothing like as much hard work as each of your dates are.

Because for me it doesn't have to lead on somewhere, to have been a successful event. It just needs to have been more enjoyable at the time than eating out alone.

No big deal, for Eros' sake! And yes - the novelty/adventure factor is very relevant.

This behaviour isn't new to me. In my early 20s I took some girl or other to the couples dinner dance at Lennons on many Friday nights, and a different one to the Belleview or the Sunnybank motel's dining room, the next night.

Always just to dine and dance, because I don't remember fancying any of them. Or to a movie. It was just pleasant socialising at times when I didn't have a girlfriend at the moment, and also supported the restaurant industry.

At an RSVP first date I ask her 2 things - early on, I ask her to let me know once she's ready for our meeting to end, and when she's ready, I wind it up quickly - most frequently after around 3 hours' chat.

Secondly, towards the end, I ask her whether she wants to see me again.

This is to discourage female co-dependence. It's for me to decide if I want to see her again, but it's for her to decide separately about it for herself.

I realise that it would be confronting to many women to be told to their faces that I don't need ever to see them again, so I ask them to tell me first what they've decided. I encourage others to be assertive, and this is an example of that.

So the 80% I've already rejected in my head during our first date, include nearly as many who've told me at the end of that date "No more thanks."

Sometimes not till after chatting enthusiastically for over 5 hours. She wanted my mind tonight, but not my body tomorrow, and that's OK - we both had the delight of tonight's oncer.

So my success rate with first dates has actually been well over 80%, when defined as both of us really enjoying that date, as an isolated experience.

2) As to your idea about keeping on dating one person, in case it might unexpectedly finally get better, I do try to do that whenever I feel a real spark myself, and/or a real meeting of the minds, which is with about one woman in 30 or 40 that I meet. So I need to meet a lot of women, to give me (and them) much choice, don't I?

Is it now your turn to get on MY couch, Michael? Perhaps not. Already less than engrossing to most third parties, I'm guessing.

I only went into detail because everyone seems to be focussing so narrowly on pursuing The One, that they are losing sight of all the wonderful opportunities to meet interesting people along the way whom you don't want to dismantle.

To mis-quote: "The journey as well as the arriving."

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 1, 2008 10:28 PM

hey greatimes, come to a canberra bloggers meet and we will organise a sydney one there!

Posted by: paradisio at February 1, 2008 10:25 PM

Wow!! Just read all the comments from last night. How hilarious. Especially the new and inventive names for peoples psuedonyms. Sorry I wasn't here!!

Paradisio - an ACT get together would be good - I'll come. A Sydney one would be better.

Posted by: greattimestocome at February 1, 2008 9:59 PM

Hi all, i have just read this blog from start to finish.
firstly, junebaby, I have recently moved to the Kapital and as yet do not know a single soul in this godforsaken work orientated city....a big shock from Port
Stepens where i used to live....

The bloggers get together sounds like lots of fun (anyone want to have a bloggers get together in ACT soon?)
Even if we dont have one here PLEASE do not let them be rsvp organised events!!, I went to one in Newcastle last year and frankly it was hideous!!///soo many poeple trying sooo hard.
The bloggers get together sound very relaxed and casual with no expectation...just a bunch of mates....and an opportunity to make some new friends and really establish myself here.....

Posted by: paradisio at February 1, 2008 9:50 PM

You know Sharon..Like i have told someone else on here.. do not forget that your Mr right could be reading the blogs and reading what you write.. and all he will see is someone who is really not really very nice.. And yes we do have a life.. just like you who is posting as well. You have no idea how much life all the regulars have.. all wonderful people.. so before you start throwing out insults.. take a minute and perhaps talk to us and be nice.. and who knows you might just like us!! :-)

Oh and G.. got the email.. sent one back!!

Posted by: seraphsuzie at February 1, 2008 9:27 PM

My god you guys have this little club going on and on with all your blather, and you totally get off the topic!!!! Don't any of you have a life? This is my second blog (1st one in August last year), but I liked the topic. My ex boss met his wife on RSVP, and another woman at work met her husband the same way. I've been on (well, on-and-off!) RSVP for about 3 years now, with not much success: until now! So, yes, it might take a while, and who knows, I may even be back on here one day, but, yes, it does happen. (By the way, I'm on here now because I took a photo for a friend, and wanted to see how it looked, once he'd uploaded it. My profile has been hidden for over a month) So, all you regular bloggers, get your big bums off the seat, and get out there!!!!!

Posted by: sharon000 at February 1, 2008 8:39 PM

Thank you Woodnwine and Timewarp1 for your comments...it would appear that everyone has totally misunderstood my original post. I was merely voicing my observations on dating etc as we get older. I was not referring to anyone's libido and certainly not my own...why would I be here if that were the case?. Then the Blogger Bullies got hold of it and the rest is history!

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 1, 2008 7:15 PM

Nope. But you are here now, back in the fold, say hello to the puppies.

Posted by: trumanscat at February 1, 2008 7:03 PM

Hi TC

It really isn't as much fun as I've made out - maybe I should have ravaged the wenches and pillaged the towns instead ;)

Thanks amdoingit

Posted by: stoic at February 1, 2008 6:53 PM

Timewarper ... I just read your response with interest and would like to indulge myself by offering two suggestions (knowing that I don't have your breadth of experience in life or in RSVP dating):
1. If you are having such a low success rate, maybe you aren't spending enough time reading profiles or screening the ladies before meeting them. I also used to arrange a lot of meetings (although nowhere as many as you) but now I rarely arrange a meeting unless I think there is a fair chance we will "hit it off".
2. Maybe you should give some of the ladies more of a chance before writing them off ... I have had it happen where the "spark" doesn't happen immediately then after a couple of meetings "wham!!". Sometimes the people you are most attracted to are the ones you would least suspect.

Hope this is of some small amount of help in your quest ... although it sounds like you enjoy the going out anyway, which in itself may be good.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 1, 2008 6:28 PM

stoic... where has thy bin?
Bin rummaging & pillaging? Sounds like much fun. :~)

Posted by: trumanscat at February 1, 2008 6:22 PM

Suzie, just forwarded on main bounced one.. See what happens this tme!!

Thanks for details Nina. Had it right but????

Stoic... welcome back.... "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at February 1, 2008 5:24 PM

Suzie, waterbombe, decoratress and the irrepressible ninashcen - thank you all for the kind words. Good to be back.

And I am sure you can all appreciate how easy it is to get caught up in raising black flags, slitting throats, ravaging towns and pillaging wenches :)

Posted by: stoic at February 1, 2008 3:13 PM

Yes.

"But not as we know it" Dr Spock

Posted by: neuroticfish at February 1, 2008 2:05 PM

In answer to the original question -In a nutshell - no.

Posted by: southerncomfort67 at February 1, 2008 1:52 PM

TimeWarp1 @ 13.02

I have to compliment you on your writing skills, and turn of phrase.
I think your answer sums it up for most of us.. too!
Experience and maturity doesn't always have to come with retirement.
Some of us have learnt our lessons long before then and are quite happy with all that bed space to ourselves without the need to fill it at any cost.
After all nothing in life comes free, it just depends on whether you're willing to pay the piper, so to speak.

Posted by: gypsynurse at February 1, 2008 1:12 PM

WOODNWINE @ 10.27

Hi again mate - and thank you for the new pet name - I would just have added a D on the end, but your R is so good - reminds me that I have my attitude and behaviour to thank for my (relative) youthfulness, as well as my lucky genes.

So why am I still here, after a first-date a week for 2 years? You're pretty close.

MacGregor (1960s) built on Maslow's 'heirarchy of needs', and claimed that the things that turn you off (I called them 'veto factors' when teaching this stuff in a TAFE management course in the 70s) take precedence over the DIFFERENT things that turn you on.

When looking for a mutually-satisfying long-term physical relationship, lack of a 2-way mutual spark is my personal No. 1 veto factor. That's because I'm not shipwrecked alone with her on a desert island. (Rather different then, I'm sure ... beggars can't be choosers.)

And DC (one-way electric current) is no good. Been there too long, before. Need AC, to drive two jackhammers in synch.

There are also cultural things that get up your nose (or hers) immediately, and would become progressively more annoying.

PIXIEMAGIC is right about us becoming more experienced and thus more choosy by middle age, once the genes are not screaming quite so loud for coupling (any coupling, but NOW!)

So even if the ferret is straining at the leash, his experienced middle-aged owner may decide to keep looking for a more promising bunny burrow, away from the nasty prickly briar patch.

In short: without having more than one book of tickets on myself, I believe I'd be quite a prize for a lot of women that I'd fancy, despite 2 big strikes against me:

I'm not selfishly masterful enough to sufficiently keep down some of the high-fliers that I've fancied (including my Ex); and I'm not a quarter rich enough for the obsessive guarders of enormous nest-eggs, who usually happen to share my cultural background most closely.

I even rent where I live, and my reliable car which I bought 3 years ago, is now 18! Definitely less brass than class, that fellow! Povvo yet!

To sum up: over 80% of the hundred got the veto from me - very often just because I had absolutely no inclination at all to see or feel them wearing less - whether or not they fancied me. Takes 2 to tango, and for me, the tango is largely a 2-mind-game.

At least another 10% gave me the thunbs-down, including three who couldn't wait to escape from my odious presence - one even burnt her coffee-date mouth in her hurrry.

A couple who'd claimed to be single were actually only separated, and I don't go there.

Another kept me in her diary for about 8 dates over 9 weeks, then when I said "How about your place or mine, after our next date?" she suddenly decided that at 10 years older. I was too old for that with her, and shot through.

But so far I've made 2 very dear new platonic friends - in touch with each by phone or visit, several times a week.

And still looking for someone who thinks that being my bedmate would be a real turn-on. For us both. And is willing to start going down that path.

Must zoom out belatedly and earn my Melbourne plane tickets. Seeyezall.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 1, 2008 1:02 PM

"OK, day 3 of staying on topic .... is anyone else interested in the topic?

"How did you know that this person might be the one?"

Well, if anyone is following ... I had 4 dates and 2 of those went further. How did I know that either of these people might be the one? .... I think if a person fullfills all or most of what you are looking for in a partner and you feel a strong initial connection with them, then there is a chance that they could be the one. I personally have felt this once and hope to feel it again one day. I think you know almost immediately if there is a strong connection (a spark) and from there on you just do your best to explore the possibilities.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 1, 2008 8:58 AM "

Wnw I think it's all about chemistry, but chemistry has to be a two way thing. Then there is the issue of one person not being able to really commit despite the meeting and the initial intimacy and the great dates.
I can feel like I've met the one, I can spend time with him, date, he can ring my bells on all counts, but unless he REALLY wants the same things I do then it's not going to work (despite us having discussed it and agreed to having similar values).
I guess it's like riding a bike, but each time you get back on you pull that helmet on sooner and buckle it up a bit tighter.

Posted by: gypsynurse at February 1, 2008 12:53 PM

"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."
William James

Posted by: woodnwine at February 1, 2008 12:04 PM

Fair point decoratress ... I agree, it takes two to argue.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 1, 2008 11:29 AM

btw, stoic...

May I add my Welcome Back to the others.

Uncommon sense is vastly appreciated, as is a sense of humour!

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 11:29 AM

Hi WATERBOMBE (9.39am)

1) So glad you liked my D.I.Y. idea, posted @ 3.58am. I made my living as an efficiency expert in my long-distant 20s, and have always believed that D.I.Y. was far more soul-satisfying than sitting back in the britchen, passing the buck and wishing and moaning. Especially for the onlookers.

2) And thank you so much ma'am for saying such unexpected nice things about me. I am all overcamed, so to speak.

3) I only called you a certain very-appropriate and long-remembered name while you were previously clocked on as a super-zealous and offensively-officious P.C. policehuman, busy working the RSVP-blogs beat. (That's Politically Correct, Trevor, not Police Constable.)

I actually had the feeling at that time that you were really less about P.C. than busy bouncing a newbie who didn't know his rightful subordinate place, ie. that it was really a peck-order thing. (Were you one of the first onto these blogs, and in your then-uncoupled state, still feeling territorial about the blogs?)

But I didn't say so till I recently read several bits of very sound stuff from you here, and heard that you are a close friend of wee Nina. Any friend of Nina's has got to be OK actually, no matter how far she had previously got up my nose.

4) And if the Fair-dinkum-searching, Visible-profile Singles Checkout-fest doesn't eventuate for the 10th of Feb, I already have several invitations to another gabfest on the previous day, so my weekend won't be completely empty.

See you there I hope, and congrats on being disqualified from the one on the 10th, for nearly 2 months so far.

But you know me - no moss on my shoes, so I'd like to go out on the town both days.

But I better check for it on my teeth now, before I leave to deliver the A3 drawing board (She's a quilter.)

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 1, 2008 11:25 AM

woodnwine...

"...just read your post from last night ...and of course the somewhat needless arguments that ensued"

I was there.
It didn't seem much like an argument to me... it takes two to argue.

On my part, a little ironic humour may have become involved.. but while I was the main target of her dummy spit, I certainly don't consider I 'argued' with her.......
.......one can't argue with a stream of invective
.......it doesn't understand you.

What it seemed like was picseetragic tabling her opinions as facts... resulting in several people questioning this... then picsee hurling mindless insults at them.

?

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 10:44 AM

timewarper .... I read most of your posts and find them interesting. I have also met you and you are a charming, engaging person .... so the thing I can't understand is, if you have met more than 100 women in the last 2 years (that's one for every week) why do you think it is that you haven't met any that you want to continue to date? I am asking this in all seriousness as I would have thought that you would make friends easily, so why do you think there has never been any "spark"?

Posted by: woodnwine at February 1, 2008 10:27 AM

Stoic my friend! How nice it is to see you on the blogs again, you have indeed been missed. Hop on a plane and come to lunch on the 9th. I'll save you a seat!

Posted by: ninaschen at February 1, 2008 10:15 AM

Stoic, I'm glad you are back too, I don't know you but I heard such good things about you from the other bloggers... you were really missed.

Posted by: waterbombe at February 1, 2008 9:42 AM

Timewarp, congrats on your idea for Femalepersuason to organise a single bloggers get together in Melbourne. I certainly hope she does...what fun you would all have!! And you or she might meet a prospective partner ... an even more enticing prospect.
Can I just say as a Doberman sister (That's what you called me once, but hey, I do forgive (but clearly I don't forget)) that I admire and enjoy your posts...you show such wit and insight, honestly (I'm being genuine here). The other thing I like about you is that at 72 you have not given up...you are obviously a strong lively appealing sort of guy with a lot of energy for life. Good on you, and go for it! And if FP fails to come to the party, well, some of the rest of us will just have to step into the breech and arrange something for you when you are down here. But what am I saying, I have no doubt FP will spring into action now and arrange a single bloggers meeting at her own expense and in her own time.

Posted by: waterbombe at February 1, 2008 9:39 AM

OK, day 3 of staying on topic .... is anyone else interested in the topic?

"How did you know that this person might be the one?"

Well, if anyone is following ... I had 4 dates and 2 of those went further. How did I know that either of these people might be the one? .... I think if a person fullfills all or most of what you are looking for in a partner and you feel a strong initial connection with them, then there is a chance that they could be the one. I personally have felt this once and hope to feel it again one day. I think you know almost immediately if there is a strong connection (a spark) and from there on you just do your best to explore the possibilities.

Posted by: woodnwine at February 1, 2008 8:58 AM

pixiemagic ... just read your post from last night ... and of course the somewhat needless arguments that ensued. What concerned me though, is that you are going on a public blog apparently stating that as you are past child bearing age, you are no longer interested in sex. Surely this won't bring the men running. I am 52, a little younger than you granted, but I am still VERY interested in sex .... in a relationship of course. Perhaps you should explain yourself a little better??

Posted by: woodnwine at February 1, 2008 8:52 AM

decoratress - $1000 and your car - bargain !!!!
If only that would do the trick :)

Posted by: jenjen57 at February 1, 2008 7:47 AM

G... hmmm not sure whats going on, have sent a message to Ninaschen with my email... will send another? It shouldn't bounce back.. very strange!! Will check it out! :-)

And STOIC!! YAY!! where have you been?

Posted by: seraphsuzie at February 1, 2008 6:18 AM

GOPIESDOTCOM @ 12.54pm on 31st

1) My dictionary is the one that I swallowed when I was about ten. Well that's what my bumpkin classmates reckoned. Yes, it is a very big one, and that's probably why I've still got such a big mouth. Hysteresis.

2) Olive branch good. Make wreath for Olympic champion. Stop stop - that laurel wreath. Sorry sorry. Olive branch for wave, when white flag too embarrassing for male ego.

Got my own ego surgically removed about forty years ago. Too prickly to sit on. Grew steatopyginous cushion in its place. Two pick-handles wide. Takes pressure off me when I blog, with or without L.

3) Happy to shake your hand, unless you are too friendly with Mrs Palmer, that sinful Jezebel. Will I give you my address, so you can airmail it to me?

No - that wouldn't work. Can't email you till I can see your profile ... By the way, does it list all your aliases, like istj?

First kookaburra just reminded me it's not as dark as it was 10 minutes ago. That's the trouble with a good, long first date - the booze and company jazzes me up, and I'm hyper all night.

Taking her my A3 drawing board in the morning, so must nap first for a couple of hours.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 1, 2008 6:10 AM

Once upon a time there was a husband who always demanded that the lights be out while they were at it.

After ten years, the wife interrupted some very enjoyable proceedings by suddenly turning on the light. To her dismay, she saw that she was actually getting her jollies from Mr Rotating Eccentric Weight.

She said some VERY uncomplimentary things to her husband about being a useless slacker, but he kept his cool.

When she'd finished, he said "OK - now it's my turn - I've got a question for you. It's about our 3 children."

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 1, 2008 5:25 AM

PIXIE MAGIC @ 9.58pm, 31st.

Again, I am going out on a limb/ swimming against the torrent etc. to support your unpopular argument.

1) The Catholic and some other fundamentalist churches - and the fictional heathen government in "1984" are among the powerful forces who keep busy spreading the self-serving propaganda that sex is only for procreation.

Some go as far as declaring that if you enjoy it, it's sinful, no matter who was pressing your buttons - and especially if it was Mrs Palmer, or Mr Rotating Eccentric Weight.

Others go as far as employing female circumcision, to try to stop women from being ABLE to enjoy it.

This line of thinking could possibly lead to your first thesis, pixiemagic, that when you're old enough to stop needing to worry about contraception, fate (disguised in whatever form you can relate to), steals away the opportunities for you to have sinful fun that's now become even more enjoyable (and therefore sinful) by lack of worry about the consequences.

2) This thesis could then be extended to excuse you from seeking 'earthly pleasures' for yourself after menopause. So when you don't attract men by doing whatever you're doing to try to attract men, you can say it's not your fault - it's fate.

That sounds to me like the idea of pre-destination, which I see as the world's biggest cop-out. (Minimal locus of control, to you psycho types.)

3) So I agree with your second last sentence that we have to reject all this inhibiting propaganda, and go for it.

4) And I'm very sorry you got so upset by the people who were rubbishing the argument that you had already told them in your initial post that you had discarded already.

I think they should read others' postings more carefully, before they use their mouth to check their shoe size. Especially once they saw how easily you were upset.

I suspect you were actually ventilating a real worry that you are having at present about not meeting enough acceptable men - and that you hoped to get some helpful feedback from some of us. What a disappointment for you!

Come on fellers, have a look at her profile. And P.M - forget co-dependency - get busy and check theirs out too. And start kissing in earnest.

On my first day in RSVP I quickly skimmed the profiles of all the RSVP femmes between 50 and 70, who were living within 50km of me.

There were 887 of them, and it took me a gruelling 14-hour Saturday shift to draft out the 250-odd "not-impossibles" and put them in the holding yard that RSVP calls "Favourites".

Then I started sending out about 8 to 10 kisses a week to these, from which I'd get 2 or 3 who'd answer positively. That usually leads to a date within a month. Led to four all-evening dinner dates one exhausting week - had to take the next week off to recover.

In a word: I believe you deserve superb sex for as long as you can and will provide it for your partner, and my next post is a very short story about that.

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 1, 2008 5:12 AM

....

is it safe now?

....

yup, looks like picseetragic has retrieved her dummy & wandered off.

Really, though... I fail to understand why people seem comfortable presenting themselves as abusive & aggressive on these blogs- when the whole point of being on this site is to attract someone who..... likes you? ..thinks you're ..nice? ..pleasant?

Isn't that called shooting oneself in the foot?

Oh... that's right...

...they don't KNOW they're being abusive & aggressive...

sigh

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 3:58 AM

FEMALE PERSUASION @ most of the last week:

Yes please! I'll take you up on that! I'm single, and I'm really desperate to get in a relationship - over a hundred RSVP first dates in the last 2 years would have to prove that. (Last one a 3-hour dinner tonight, so I'm posting in the small hours.)

I'll be down in Melbourne from Brisbane on business before and after Sunday the 10th of Feb, but have nothing programmed yet for all of that day.

Could you please do me a really big favour? Just organise an unofficial Melbourne get-together for RSVP singles who have their profiles showing AND are looking for a real relationship including s*x (rather than just some wussy platonic friends), and invite NOBODY else. No invisible bloggers, and especially no irrelevant couples, to take our eye off the ball.

Don't ask RSVP to do it for you, or even to approve it. I've been to their singles' meetings in Brisbane, and you could do better - you've proved on these blogs that you've got a lot of good theoretical knowledge about sociology.

And it's not hard - I did it for the Brisbane bloggers' gabfest last month, and it only took me ten days to get half a dozen people, before we merged with wraecca's mob.

To minimise cost, and more importantly, to get intelligent literate people that you and I would relate to, I suggest you advertise it in the current blogs, with the following methodology:

Anyone who reads the ad in a blog and wants to come just has to send me 2 free kisses on the same day, both with the message "I'd like to get to know you better." Then I send them a stamped email advising the venue and time, as I did to a number of people before the Brisbane one.

Or, if you want to put YOUR money where your keyboard is, FP, tell them to send the 2 kisses to you, instead of to me, and you email them back.

And list me as your first acceptance, here and now. I really enjoy discussing/debating with feisty opinionated women, and expect there'd be a couple there at least.

But if you feel unequal to this simple social duty, FP, let's just drop this idea of yours quietly, and get back single-mindedly to responding positively to the set blog topics, rather than riding our personal hobby-horses to death. In a word, FP, put up or shut up. OK?

Posted by: timewarp1 at February 1, 2008 3:58 AM

Hi Pixiemagic,

Too tired to go through the endless blogs so, will you be kind enough to fill me in on your issue, though I gather that it might be about bloggers with hidden profiles?

I will await you response before I comment further as I dont want to make a bigger dill of myself than I may already be, if you would be so kind as to respond?

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at February 1, 2008 2:41 AM

Decoratess;

Shhh, you are giving away our secrets, after all, we are a clique, all 75 of us!!!

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at February 1, 2008 2:30 AM

& Hi Bob..

hahaha- welcome to the show!

...it's provided some fascinating insights tonight, wouldn't you say?

Look forward to meeting you at lunch.

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 1:59 AM

mixiepagic...

"I rest my case!!"

Does THIS mean you're going?

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 1:48 AM

Hi All,

Any comment I could make after what has preceeded this is superfluous.

I live in NSW and an going to Melbourne to meet the friends that I have made on the blogs. They may think that I am naive, or they even may think that I am an imbecile, but they treat me with respect - who knows, who cares....they like me and I like them.

As for the desperate women and "old boilers" who would do anything to get any man....hey, I'm a show at least (sorry to disappoint you Eric, I know you think that I am not a man); and what a way to go.

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at February 1, 2008 1:31 AM

decoratress ..I rest my case!!

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 1, 2008 1:30 AM

decoratress ..like I said you are faceless and weak!!!!

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 1, 2008 1:29 AM

oh & pixx...

um... I didn't 'critique' your profile...

Why would I look at it?

I critiqued your manners.

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 1:23 AM

$1000?

and my car? (details on request)

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 1:19 AM

decoratress..you are another faceless idiot!!!! how dare you critique others that actually show their profile for you to ridicule and reject as you see fit without them having input into your own...how week are you???....faceless!! you are!! get lost!!!

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 1, 2008 1:17 AM

pukeymanners...

Maybe ridersonthestorm74 wasn't interested enough to look past the first one?

You know.... seeing as you're so unpleasant?

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 1:07 AM

ridersonthestorm74 ...well you obviously didnt look into all the photos to see the current updates todate jan 08...hello!!!!

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 1, 2008 12:51 AM

PIXIE
Just wondering why you have in your profile:

If you contact me, be real, single and emotionally free -- I only respond to contacts with photos and please make sure its uptodate.

But your photo is dated 2005 ? double standards it seems.

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at February 1, 2008 12:45 AM

peskymisfit...

Does the "good luck!!!" mean you're going?

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 12:45 AM

Just wondering why you have in your profile:

If you contact me, be real, single and emotionally free -- I only respond to contacts with photos and please make sure its uptodate.

But your photo is dated 2005 ? double standards it seems.

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at February 1, 2008 12:43 AM

Wishfulthinker even :)

Posted by: stoic at February 1, 2008 12:33 AM

Nah Wishfulthiner, I am suffering under a crippling mortgage. The poor part fits me too well :)

Posted by: stoic at February 1, 2008 12:32 AM

Well I'll put my hand up for the "poor" part - been a while since last pay day - Stoic you can be the misguided one...you're a block...you often get lost, and that leaves the "unintelligent idiot" to pixie - what was it you said - "if it fits, wear it". Decoratress you have to miss out this time - sorry - wasn't enough insults to share :)

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at February 1, 2008 12:25 AM

Wishful, it goes great with those jeans :)

And what really accentuates the look is the bemused look on your face when faced with a completely underwhelming opponent.

Posted by: stoic at February 1, 2008 12:21 AM

Decoratress a dictator???

Now that is the funniest thing l have heard all day!!!.....and its been a long one at that.........K

Posted by: auntykaz at February 1, 2008 12:20 AM

I am convinced you are all a bunch of poor misguided unintelligent idiots!!!...good luck!!!

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 1, 2008 12:18 AM

hahahaHAHAHA....

my goodness!
we ARE having fun here tonight aren't we boys & girls!

OK.... $500

Pleeease.... SOMEone....

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 12:17 AM

Well pixie...had you punctuated your statement correctly then maybe decoratess' insult would have been more clear....I shall wear it - hey Stoic..does dictator go nice with these jeans I've got on??

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at February 1, 2008 12:15 AM

Well wishfulthinker dictator was not meant for you but that decoratress...however if you accept it then wear it!

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 1, 2008 12:13 AM

wishfulthinker03 - you should never argue with an idiot (even a pixiebrained one).

They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience

Posted by: stoic at February 1, 2008 12:11 AM

Dictator? Well I've been called a lot of things before, but never that - thank you - I shall add it to my list.

I hate to burst ya bubble - but I must have some intelligence, 4 degrees would probably give credence to that statement (2 undergrad, 2 post grad). My limited ability on life - and you know this how?

You wont elaborate Pixie, because you simply can't - you backed yourself into a corner, confusing fact with opinion, make wide-sweeping statements.

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at February 1, 2008 12:07 AM

In the interests of the peace & love, I'm offering $100 to anyone who can get pissymanic to f..k off.

Any takers?

Posted by: decoratress at February 1, 2008 12:06 AM

dictator...you are a fool and obviously not gifted with too much intelligence..wishfulthinker03 shame oh shame that you are teaching anyone with your limited ability on life and yes very scary thank god you arent teaching my kids...I wont even elaborate here as most of you poor people dont get it!!

Posted by: pixiemagic at February 1, 2008 12:01 AM

Suzie... your emails are bouncing back.. ????? "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at February 1, 2008 12:00 AM

Hahaha Rider.....you think?

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 31, 2008 11:59 PM

wish- it does seem someone's buttons are being pressed on here :)

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 31, 2008 11:52 PM

poxiemidget...

You are a dill.

And a rude one.

Posted by: decoratress at January 31, 2008 11:48 PM

also strongly believe nature has a plan...from the beginning of each newborn it is pre-programmed to procreate and keep the masses happening...remember when you were much younger and of course child bearing age...it was soooo easy to meet up with someone and have a relationship. Now when we are middleaged and passed nature's plan for procreating...guess what happens...she is no longer interested and you are now out of the plan because you can no longer participate!

Pixie..how can this be "a fact" if you "strong believe". I strongly believe chocolate should be the bottom of the food pyramid, doesn't mean it will ever happen.

I don't think for a minute mother nature has anything to do with it - she has no "over-riding plan". And yes Pixie, I read...widely. What's more they trust me to instil my knowledge upon the next generation - scarey thought isn't it - but this reminds me of today's English lesson - the difference between "fact" and "opinion"

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 31, 2008 11:46 PM

Weehoo Rider...does that mean I get to press all your buttons??

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 31, 2008 11:42 PM

just press them all ...something is bound to work ...thats what we do and please don't bother with the instructions either :)

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 31, 2008 11:40 PM

wishfulthinker03...it has nothing to do with giving up either!!

Posted by: pixiemagic at January 31, 2008 11:39 PM

Middle aged people are less attracted to others because they are past procreation age?

Apart from the mountains of anecdotal evidence I am sure everyone has to the contrary, what of all this talk about women not hitting their sexual peak until 35-40?

This I gotta hear...

Posted by: stoic at January 31, 2008 11:39 PM

wishfulthinker03..of course procreation is the only reason for sex...are you stupid??...dont you read anything??!!

Posted by: pixiemagic at January 31, 2008 11:38 PM

Might just have to borrow you Rider, I'm hopless with the remote - and don't even begin to tell me how to use all those other buttons on the silly thing!

Pixie...too indepth? Give me a break - just what are the "likes of most of you"??

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 31, 2008 11:29 PM

Well good on you all you knockers!!!...laugh and poo poo it if you want but its a fact!!! obviously tooooo indepth for the likes of most of you!

Posted by: pixiemagic at January 31, 2008 11:19 PM

HEY ...WISH ...you can borrow my batteries for your remote :)

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 31, 2008 11:16 PM

Please tell me that procreation wasn't the only reason for sex! I'm not giving up because I'm past mother nature's plans - no thanks....too many good years without the "worry" attached. I can certainly particpate and I am still interested....interesting theory Pixie, but alas, not one I subscibe to

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 31, 2008 11:10 PM

pixiemagic @ 9.58pm...

"Now when we are middleaged & past nature's plan for procreating...guess what happens...she is no longer interested & you are now out of the plan because you can no longer participate!"

um.....

speak for yourself?

hahaha... I'm interested...

doublehahaha... he can participate extremely well thank you...

Generalisation is trap.
I find it interesting how many posts contain the phrases "we all...", "none of us...", "everybody...", "no-one...", etc.

While there are trends & traits in all age groups, a sizeable number of us are quite individual.
I'm constantly amazed to find strangers stating categorically what I do, think, say or am interested in....

Posted by: decoratress at January 31, 2008 11:05 PM

Boys and their toys......

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 31, 2008 11:00 PM

True ....I have 4 remotes :)

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 31, 2008 10:55 PM

Hahaha Rider...I'm sure they are there somewhere......I'm sure you can make things work regardless....boys and remotes are so closely connected :)

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 31, 2008 10:43 PM

ZAP

...there, they've gone!

(just call me helpful)

Posted by: decoratress at January 31, 2008 10:42 PM

This is my first comment on RSVP Blogs, although I have read them and found them to be enjoyable and educational.

I wrote something earlier that disappeared into the ether.

It was about 8 years ago, when the internet was not mainstream, there was MiRC, with many chat channels, one of which was called Club34plus, the plus being usually a minimum of 10.
We had meetings and get togethers which were a good chance for people to physically interact with others they may have chatted to sometimes every night.

They were great, much the same as the melbourne lunch event previously mentioned here. I suspect similar dynamics, some would flirt, others would chat, and still others would break into the more traditional groupings, blokes in one corner, and women in another corner.

I dont feel our every waking moment has to be obsessed with finding a partner of the opposite sex. That seems really needy, it is nice to have a venue such as this, where we can be ourselves. I mean surely our blogs say much more about the real person than our carefully constructed profiles can ever do.

To be part of a community is also valid, to have our say, and then to see what others think of what we had to say is important, it makes us feel not alone.

I feel the blogs are a natural progression from the chat channels, they certainly are more interactive than TV.

I do not feel that RSVP blogs need to be solely about boy meets girl, life is more than that.

Clearly, blogs are available to the whole RSVP community, yet few people avail themselves of the opportunity to chat in real time with others, I feel many more people read these blogs than those who contibute to them. Maybe like myself, in time they will comment.

I feel the blogs add much richness to RSVP, where we dont have to take things so seriously

Posted by: virgil at January 31, 2008 10:40 PM

Hey Wish ! where are the batteries ? did you hide them in someone's profile ?

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 31, 2008 10:38 PM

Hi all, this is my first go at blogging and thought I would make a comment. While I am sure there are plenty of success stories I am slowly becoming pessimistic about it here. I can't begin to tell you how many kisses I have sent just to either get no reply or a "currently responding to someone else". It feels like a bit of a meat market and if you haven't got the best sales pitch forget it. I think I am ok and a good all rounder but nothings happening even now just before Valentines. Don't any women want to be treated with respect and romanced any more.
I am at a loss so I am interested in hearing what you think!

Posted by: guy2love at January 31, 2008 10:32 PM

Here's the Remote Rider....change away!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 31, 2008 10:32 PM

aliane...

I tried to send you a kiss but can't because my profile's hidden- so here it is now...

MWAH!!!

Posted by: decoratress at January 31, 2008 10:29 PM

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....please change the channel zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 31, 2008 10:15 PM

You stay away for a couple of days and come back to a case of deja vu...when is this crap over who has lunch with whom going to stop??? It's been done to death!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 31, 2008 10:02 PM

ok guys ..here are my thoughts and a lot will probably throw their hands up in disgust!.

I'm talking to the middle aged of us right now ...yes you and me...we are all beautiful people but lets just think about where we are right now with our lives, thoughts, beliefs and our dating success.

Why is it soooo hard,different and difficult???...1. because at our age we have experience and have learnt through pain and hardship what not to do again... 2. because of that experience we are choosy..we now know what we want and we dont enter into easy/frivilous relationships so easily. 3. I also strongly believe nature has a plan...from the beginning of each newborn it is pre-programmed to procreate and keep the masses happening...remember when you were much younger and of course child bearing age...it was soooo easy to meet up with someone and have a relationship. Now when we are middleaged and passed nature's plan for procreating...guess what happens...she is no longer interested and you are now out of the plan because you can no longer participate!...hey dont worry about that..its up to us to find our own plan.

Sorry if this is a bit over the top but think about it.

Posted by: pixiemagic at January 31, 2008 9:58 PM

Can someone please explain to me why it is apparently unacceptable to form friendships through RSVP?

Posted by: origami1107 at January 31, 2008 9:52 PM

Back later going down to the 'Blue Room' to watch a movie with my 16 year old daughter.

Which reminds me has anyone seen 'Keeping Mum'?

What a classic! I watched it yesterday and absolutely loved it.

Posted by: mstingle at January 31, 2008 8:38 PM

was just wondering whether it is possible to find love at all in Western Australia!!

Posted by: lovelife08 at January 31, 2008 8:32 PM

Silly thing posted with out me sending it.

There would have been several others too including WmW and Timewarp1, just to say that's the spirit and FP you too, now you are looking at what could be done possibly instead of what wasn't done:)

Posted by: mstingle at January 31, 2008 8:28 PM

Posted by: waterbombe at January 31, 2008 7:26 PM

Posted by: twoeyes at January 31, 2008 7:42 PM

Posted by: mstingle at January 31, 2008 8:24 PM

Hmmm.. this is what I think... lightning strikes of good stuff occassionally happen to us, and sometimes daggers of bad stuff happen to us. You can't predict when the lightning or daggers will happen to you, it's random. But you can increase the chance of lightning by getting out and meeting more people, in person or on line, it doesn't matter which. If you are out more, you are more likely to be struck by lightning. Which is a good thing, in this analogy. So the first thing to do is to get out and meet people, which everyone on this site is to be congratulated for. They are increasing their exposure to lightning of the nicest possible kind. And bloggers are increasing their exposure even more. (Which is one reason bloggers who are in relationships have hidden profiles, so they don't have to continually respond to the increased interest in them). Quite a few bloggers have hooked up with other bloggers... this is one way to find love on RSVP. If you just read and don't blog yet, think about writing something...go on, take a chance... it will increase your exposure to other singles a lot and you just might attract Mr or Ms Right.

Gee, I sound like i work for RSVP...I don't , honest. I have a job, a good one. It's not even in Sales.

Posted by: waterbombe at January 31, 2008 8:24 PM

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 31, 2008 7:15 PM

Yes a bloggers meet organised by RSVP would be indeed a good idea maybe you could suggest it to them.

It would be good if anything thing could be organised for the Fraser Coast at all for example, no matter what type of function.

RSVP organises functions for singles in Brisbane and up to Noosa on the the Sunshine Coast, then there is nothing until possibly Townsville, Cairns. So us non city folk either have to tweedle our thumbs or travel hours to get to anywhere.

Amazing really when Hervey Bay for example is one of the fastest growing cities in Queensland and becoming quite a tourist mecca, including for overseas visitors. Fraser Island being the bigggest draw card.

Also there are many restuarants too from el cheepo to 5 star.

Posted by: mstingle at January 31, 2008 8:18 PM

OK waterbombe ... back to topic. Yes, it's possible to find love on RSVP. I met someone who I really liked and would have bent over backwards for. She, unfortunately, didn't feel exactly the same so I am moving on but if it can happen once I'm sure it an happen again. Think positive.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 31, 2008 7:58 PM

I have found it.. just not on here and boy am i ever looking forward to Valentines Day.. he he .. :-)
Actually am more looking forward to this weekend.. to a gorgeous guy and some lovely time spent together!

Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 31, 2008 7:53 PM

i believe that meeting someone takes three things........................

POSITION POSITION POSITION................

I.E position in where you are in your life....................

position in where you are in your head................

position in what time of what day of what week of what month of what year is it...............

If they are all in position then thats the one, and maybe after all that , then you didnt find them but they found you........

Posted by: twoeyes at January 31, 2008 7:42 PM

No comment, FP.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 31, 2008 7:39 PM

One more thing.

Femalepersuaion, if you try to engage me in discussion of bloggers lunches or meetings (same thing) I am going to post a reply of "No comment, FP". That is all I am going to say to you. I suggest we all use that response to FP, then she will finally get the message that NO ONE else wants to talk about bloggers lunches or meetings any more.

Posted by: waterbombe at January 31, 2008 7:30 PM

One thing.

This blog is sounding like a broken record.

How about NO ONE responds to femalepersuasion EVER AGAIN on the topic of the bloggers lunches. Then this blog might become interesting again. It would be really nice if Mstingle had a great last day on the blogs.

If I can have your agreement, ladies and gentlemen, we will now say to Femalepersuasion, OK, FP, this is it. From now on, none of us will discuss bloggers lunches with you. Full Stop, The End, Goodbye.

We are now going to discuss much more interesting things, such as Can You Find Love on RSVP?

Well, you can find love on RSVP, and I know that because people have given a few examples on here...Ninaschen went to a wedding of RSVPers, other people have said they know of RSVP marriages, and several bloggers (yes we can talk about them, we just agreed not to talk about their lunches) are in relationships. The really interesting thing is how do you do it??? I've been in a great RSVP relationship for 6 weeks, but that's not long ...is there anyone who has been in a relationship for over 6 months who can shed some light on how to meet someone just right for you on RSVP?

Just trying to change the subject here, guys ... help me out.

Posted by: waterbombe at January 31, 2008 7:26 PM

FP please go back and read what l wrote "we were a group of 12 people most of whom were unknown to each other at the time".
That means that most of us didn't know each other. I certainly had not met any of them.
It was not billed as a bloggers meet for singles...just a lunch for whoever wanted to attend!!!
If you WANT to arrange a lunch for single bloggers then do it....don't expect someone else to do it for you!!!
Enough, zip, nada!!! So over this shit it aint funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.............K

Posted by: auntykaz at January 31, 2008 7:18 PM

Mstingle : I can tell you are a good hearted soul and you have the voice of reason within.

It is a very valid point that you bring you up regarding the blogs, with the paradox being that private functions are organised through a public blog.

I think this can work, but maybe RSVP might consider organising "blog" events in each state . There is obviosly a need for "bloggers" to have organised meetings, and it would remove the need for individual bloggers to have to use their stamps to try and organise this.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 31, 2008 7:15 PM

I am going to pick up my little boy now, hopefully when I return later all willbe okay.

This is not my blog and I should not expect it to be any different from the good or bad that it can be but it would be nice if, when I get back that my last day for awhile, could be spent with you guys, in the fun, loving way that I know you and I are all capable of.

See you in a wee while:)

Posted by: mstingle at January 31, 2008 7:03 PM

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 31, 2008 6:53 PM

Honey I don't know!

All I know is that RSVP is for singles and anyone that organises anything that is not RSVP, it is up to them what they do or who they invite.

If you feel so strongly do one yourself.

Life is an adventure and you know if you just relax a little, in fact if we all just relax a little, including myself we may in fact pause and take a deep breath enough for us to turn our heads and look into the face of our intended loves.

Posted by: mstingle at January 31, 2008 6:58 PM

ok I am not the first, nor will i be the last to say this . Of that I am sure.

FP THIS IS FOR YOUR EARS ONLY. ( all other bloggers please disregard this message)

The bloggers getogether is for people who like each other and have something in common, ie respect , a sense of humour, and a genuine desire to be friends.

YOU DO NOT, AND YOU ARE NOT.

We met via rsvp blogs and became friendly. We didnt form an alnight sexfest society, when we met. We discuss "stuff ". We have lunch and a drink. That is all.

You do not fit into this particular group, or as you phrased it clique.. Some are partnered, some are not, we dont care about that, as we are friends.

STOP FLOGGING A DEAD HORSE, AND FEEL FREE TO MAKE YOUR OWN GROUP OR CLIQUE, AND DONT INVITE US , AS i AM SURE THAT NON OF US WOULD GO.

Posted by: twoeyes at January 31, 2008 6:56 PM

Mstingle: I am not upset, but why is it that if someone like myself posts an individual opinion they are immediately criticised?

I think the lunches are great and I also think that all the bloggers are very lucky that they have people like Auntykaz & Ninaschen that go to the trouble of arranging them.

But perhaps their is also a need for someone to arrange a bloggers meet for singles. Maybe people would not find this appealing..but it needs to be addressed for discussion to ensue.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 31, 2008 6:53 PM

Oh my god now I am wanting to come to Melbourne for a group, blog what ever get together, group hug!

Must be the weather or something I am feeling a little depressed.

Posted by: mstingle at January 31, 2008 6:51 PM

Okay we did this just the other day as WnW pointed out and I think most of us are in agreeance as to what is going on.

FP really what is wrong just say what it wrong, just don't keep on about everyone else, that is doing what ever.

We are all here from all different walks in life.

It is better to talk about what is going wrong for you and let us nut it out together.

Sure you may get attacks from the negs, but babe there are some really cool people on here and they may not have all the answers but instead of finding fault, own your problems and spill.

By the sounds of it you are lonely and feel so lost when you go to these blog meetings and you cannot find anyone to find you!

First find yourself and hopefully one day if you are able to give someone the time you want for yourself.

I hurt too at times but having ago at everyone else is not going to get you any positive attention.

Posted by: mstingle at January 31, 2008 6:47 PM

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 31, 2008 4:55 PM

Please do not get upset again. I am sure that there are plenty of RSVP organised things for singles.

However you were talking about the blog get togethers weren't you, which are not organised by RSVP.

Posted by: mstingle at January 31, 2008 6:34 PM

Posted by: woodnwine at January 31, 2008 4:29 PM

Oh my goodness! looks like I am about to read through a calamity of post over something else like the other day.

Don't fret WnW, I am sure this will happen, again and again and again. There are also some very good day's on here too!

I must note that everytime this happens. There are some lovely level head men, like your self that comment and every now and then when making an understandable statement, about not being happy about something or somebody and they will make one line statements.

The women who are normally very reasonable will go into paragraphs about why they are unhappy about the same things or people.

I admired the way the positive men on this block would only grumble a few words and then feel bad about having to use a few more words (and the rest).

This only proves that there is a difference between men and women, not that there is anything wrong. That men will say very few things when there is a blew and may be biff another male and women will put it all into words.

Of course you have male and very few females, that just like to argue anyway but we all know who they are.

Posted by: mstingle at January 31, 2008 6:30 PM

I can not believe that this issue about the bloggers is still crapping on....FP, we are all, mostly, listed on RSVP, via our profiles, to meet "the one". I am listed, on view, paid up with stamps and rsvio.

RSVP has given us the right to blog...freely(for the most part).

So if we want we can blog...even if we meet someone and hide our profile, we can still blog….it is a free world, at least in Australia, the last time I checked!!!

Some bloggers from RSVP have become friends, so we have taken that relationship OFF RSVP, we meet up for lunches, dinners and the occaisional drink.

These are events organised for friends by other friends. I personally believe that friendship is priceless.

RSVP has nothing to do with these events, they do not sponsor, organise or participate in any way.

Why should we open these events up to every one on RSVP. Some people involved, have not been with RSVP, but do blog on other private sites. They are FRIENDS.

Now, when friends meet up, who cares who is single, who is in a relationship, it doesn’t matter as it is a meeting of like minded people to have fun and catch up!!!! But if love happens, everyone would be pleased for those involved.

Like I said 2 days ago, in the relationship subject, anyone can organise a get together in any city or town in Australia. If you want to do one….ORGANISE it, if you only want singles there, ORGANISE it to be what you want it to be. DUH!!!! RSVP already organise singles events in all the major cities!!!!

FP….Stop bitching about people that have found something else worthwhile, as a result of being on RSVP.

Hope you have a lovely evening…..jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at January 31, 2008 6:27 PM

Aliane!!

...what a shame you aren't in Melbourne!

Posted by: decoratress at January 31, 2008 6:01 PM

FP a history lesson for you and anyone else who needs one....

The first Melbourne lunch grew from Ninaschen and myself contacting each other (actually l think she contacted me first), as we had both been blogging and obviously had a few things in common, such as a sense of humour - yes we do have one - and similar interests.

Woodnwine was coming down to Melbourne - we also had contact with him - and Ninaschen and l thought we would arrange to meet and also include him. From that Ninaschen posted a general invitaton to ANYONE who wished to maybe join us.

We were essentially a group of 12 people most of whom were unknown to each other at the time.

Guess what??

We all found that we had a lot in common and actually enjoyed ourselves very much. So much so that most of us moved on from lunch to drinks for the rest of the afternoon.

What grew from this was friendship. Pure and simple.

The next lunch was the one that you and others attended. This was organised by Ninashcen and Weta.
Clearly those who attended the first lunch knew each other being FRIENDS and all.
Again another enjoyable lunch, or so l thought. We had the opportunity to meet yourself, several others we had not met prior.
What has transpired since is nothing short of drivel on your behalf, continually denigrating the simple thing of people getting together and enjoying each others company.

For heaven's sake get over both it and yourself, you do yourself no favours by your posts that just rehash the same old crap. As has been said by several people LET IT GO......................K

Posted by: auntykaz at January 31, 2008 6:00 PM

abckenny....

SPOT ON

Posted by: decoratress at January 31, 2008 5:45 PM

frenzyinducingpersistence @ 3.29pm...

1) How many times do you need to have it explained to you?
2) How did you ever get accepted to study anything anywhere?

With all undue respect...

you are being a pain

Posted by: decoratress at January 31, 2008 5:41 PM

This whole thing seems to be eating at you like battery acid. What was your share of the cost of lunch? I'll be happy to reimburse you. Just so we can all move on from this. We get it. You are pi**ed off. Let it go

I get the feeling that FP needs to be the center of attention look at moy look at moy look at moy and feels slighted that there was no one there who really gave a damn

Posted by: abckenny at January 31, 2008 5:33 PM

FP - I hadn't read your post at 4.55 before I put up mine. So I am addressing that now.

You came to one of the Melbourne lunches and you were obviousy disappointed. Were you expecting it to be a RSVP endorsed match-making exercise, a table-for-eight type affair?? Were you expecting to meet 'the one'? Sorry if you feel you were led astray. I thought it was clear that it was an informal gathering of people who had developed a camaraderie on the blogs.

This whole thing seems to be eating at you like battery acid. What was your share of the cost of lunch? I'll be happy to reimburse you. Just so we can all move on from this. We get it. You are pi**ed off. Let it go.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 31, 2008 5:23 PM

F.P you could always try the RSVP organised 'Meat' markets if you want to meet someone 'New'.
There seems to be only a handful of disillusioned RSVP ers and one or two newbies who regularly participate in the blogs and if they chose to get together for whatever purpose then that is their prerogative.

Posted by: abckenny at January 31, 2008 5:14 PM

WnW and NotGodsGift - Doh! Why hadn't anybody thought to explain what these lunches/get-togethers are all about, before? I'm serious, here. I realise now that some people think that 'lunch' is a euphomism for something else. IT IS NOT! It is a few people getting together for some good food, good wine and good conversation - no condoms required - no sex on offer nor expected!

You might get a hello/goodbye kiss on the cheek, rarely the lips and generally, no tongue (though that has reminded me, there is someone I need to have a little chat to....)!

Posted by: ninaschen at January 31, 2008 4:58 PM

Who says the blogs are not designed to meet your love?? The BLOG POLICE perhaps? Did someone make a decision about this behind all the singles' backs? Considering this is a singles site, forgive me for being a "dullard", but I blog to discuss issues with other singles and to meet other singles of the opposite sex.

If you have a different agenda..GREAT.. but dont force yours on me or anyone else. Surely this should be about meeting the needs of everyone and not just a select group.

If some bloggers want to meet just to make friends, that is fine, but it seems to me that there is some unspoken agreement here that I and others are meant to get by osmosis.

So, Bob, your statement- "Its quite obvious (even a dullard like me can understand that(sic))that the lunch is not an RSVP event for singles, it is a get together of a group of people who have formed friendships through RSVP and, regardless of their relationship status now, they want to continue those friendships"

How is this obvious???... Has there been a survey or even asking people their opinions? Is it some unspoken agreement, or is it just assumed that you must only be seeking friendship to accept an invitation ?

I would not want to go to an organised meeting to meet people that are already partnered. If you do..Great..but I don't, and I am sure there are a lot of singles that may feel the same.

Therefore, state the agenda. There may be a real need to organise a get together for singles who want to meet other singles.

Its personal choice. Are you saying that meetings can only be FRIENDSHIP??????

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 31, 2008 4:55 PM

PS .... so much for my trying to post on-topic yesterday and again today. Will I continue tomorrow? Maybe not.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 31, 2008 4:29 PM

FP - bloggers' lunches are not designed as an opportunity to find love, they are a get together for people who have talked on the blogs. Sure, it's possible that two people might get together and go out from meeting at the lunch, but that is not the intention of the get together. I think personally, if anything, bloggers are less likely to get together than other members because their getting together may be a very public thing and it may not work out ... then what?

Posted by: woodnwine at January 31, 2008 4:28 PM

Hi All,

Its quite obvious (even a dullard like me can understand that)that the lunch is not an RSVP event for singles, it is a get together of a group of people who have formed friendships through RSVP and, regardless of their relationship status now, they want to continue those friendships - nothing sinister about that, thats what friends do.

RSVP runs the events for singles to meet, that is what they are here for and one of the means they use to generate income.

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at January 31, 2008 4:11 PM

Bloody gremlins are responsible for mistakes in my last post!

Posted by: mstingle at January 31, 2008 3:46 PM

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 31, 2008 3:29 PM

Yes we know this is a singles what ever! RSVP.

The blog is open to singles and some may be in realtionships or because of having met on RSVP.

I shouldn't worry if they will stay together or not!

Obviously if they have not tied the knot they are still single and may possibly keeping an eye out for someone else. That is their issue.

Blog meetings however are for bloggers to meet and you may find a true love or a true friend.

I don know what you mean to some degree if you are so committed to one another why are you are single meetings, surely if you had made secure friendships with other memebers you would not be meeting at a singles meet, but instead meeting up via another venue, say mixed couples and singles.

I met singles and couples at the Brisbane bloggers and it was a good thing because some of those couples I would not mind meeting up with again, in particular one couple. Or if they spilt, there were some top females, that I would not remaining in contact with.

Posted by: mstingle at January 31, 2008 3:44 PM

CAN YOU FIND LOVE AT A BLOGGERS LUNCH?

There are a multitude of reasons why people have either active or non active profiles on RSVP or infact why people choose to blog.

Some are single and actively dating , whilst others have found a partner and hidden their profiles. Both of these groups often choos e to continue to blog and it is great that the blogs benefit from such a diversity of experiences.

The participants that attended the last Melbourne lunch, from what I can gather, were mainly individuals that were in relationships and were no longer dating. There were some people there that were single, but they were definitely in the minority, which begs the question as to what the agenda is for the bloggers get together.

I feel that this needs to be clarified before the meet to reflect and encourage people to attend for reasons that reflect their own personal requirements.

Not everyone who blogs is interested in making friends with other bloggers. Some are and that is great, but many are interested in meeting singles to discuss dating issues as well as potentialartners.

I am not suggesting that we have a "partnered" or a "singles" lunch necessarily, but it would be useful to know what the agenda was for the meet so that people can make an informed decision about whether the dynamics would reflect their individual needs.

I personally am not interested in making new friends, but I am here to meet a partner.

At the moment it seems to be just a "bloggers" get together, whereas it would perhaps be more inclusive to extend this to all RSVP members.

Perhaps then we would attract a more even balance not only of singles and couples, but of active and non active profiles.

Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 31, 2008 3:29 PM

Valentine's Day in 2 weeks Posted by: woodnwine at January 31, 2008 1:48 PM

would be bloody fantastic...........

Posted by: twoeyes at January 31, 2008 3:17 PM

woodnwine at January 31, 2008 1:46 PM
yes lots can be going on behind the scenes that we don't know about. I have exchanged emails with a woman for a couple of weeks but she never replied very quickly ...
Always a good indication that you are somewhere on their 'list' but not number one.they like to keep you hanging on just in case they have a slow week.
I have found that the ones that I have connected with best always respond quickly and regularly

Posted by: abckenny at January 31, 2008 2:18 PM

Gee .. Valentine's Day in 2 weeks ... wouldn't it have been nice to share it with someone special ... oh well, there's always next year.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 31, 2008 1:48 PM

mstingle - yes lots can be going on behind the scenes that we don't know about. I have exchanged emails with a woman for a couple of weeks but she never replied very quickly ... she just emailed to say she has been seeing someone but isn't sure where it may head so I will just be patient and see what, if anything, happens.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 31, 2008 1:46 PM

Hey banana man

I believe u r stuck in the Minnesota clay, minger.
Here’s a Pink Snowman
Don’t use the blotter as a pregnant female copper may get at you.
timewarp1 , yes I have to agree, there are no arguments from this quarter.

You took this below ‘shark shit’, remember. I would have hoped that your intellect were above this type of sarcasm.
What dictionary are you using? It seems a little different to the one I use.

We are no longer playing nice. We are both naught boys. We both need are mouths washing with lux soap.

p.s. are you prepared to accept the olive branch I’m offering?
Go on, be a man, and shake my hand.

I like your post; MONEY AND SEX -what's the go on the first date?

My first date is usually the half hour coffee. I’m not interested in boring myself or her if there is no mutual interesting connections.
If there appeared to be some interests, I would suggest a Dinner date within a week. At my invitation.
I had an encounter with a ‘cougar’, a couple of weeks ago. We went out for dinner the following evening. The conversation was most enjoyable, and thought en-lightening. I have entered her name and number into my list of contacts, for further dinner outings, and also on my Christmas card list.

Kind regards

Posted by: gopiesdotcom at January 31, 2008 12:54 PM

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 31, 2008 10:37 AM

Hi Time warp I was very touched by your post in response to this being my last day but I will be back, just need a break from the blogs and I need to get in shape. I have got an email from RSVP as we all probably do, in relastion to Valentines day.

Well even though I will be of the blogs for awhile after today my profile will still be up until March when I go back to uni.

Which reminds me RSVP has sent me an email, that I am sure that everyone has got, remindeing me of valentines day. Well you never know I my be one lucky girl and recieve an invitation somewhere by a nice man.

As our conscious has free reign over our thoughts, darn thing it can be at times. Mine was having a field day after I announced my farewell until mid year.

I was think over the emails that I had recieved and they were all from nice men (no I am not appologising for using the word nice, lol).

Then just like the cartoons or comedied that show an angel and a devil were at work you could say.

Here I was thinking boy, I must be not so desirable in my emails for things not to venture any further(devil).

Then thank god the angel so to say reminded me, that One was a very nice man that was a little afraid to meet anyone.

Another after a number of months of emails from overseas, I realised that someone may sound pretty good but where did I want to really be.
Sometimes we have to stop ourselves from saying yes so as not to be alone, otherwise we could do things, even move so as not to be alone.

Then there was one that only emailed me once, not sure what happened there, probably a nice guy but that does not mean that I am not equally nice anything could have happened he may have even died of a heart attack, lol.

Another emailed me once and then the second time to tell me to email him after my trip to Brisbane seen as I appeared to be so busy. I emailed to say I was back and had a good time but he did not get back. Now I could think that maybe he was the possesive type and even though I had not met him, he did not like the idea of me meeting with other singles even though he had only just strated email contact or he could have a real good reason for not emailing me again.

One is going to be back here in Australia in Feb so may contact me to meet up with him.

Then there are a few others that have just recently emailed me.

Why am I telling you all this?

I am telling you all this because sometimes our minds run away with us and just because we may not have met anyone like me even for a cup of coffee or if some of us are lucky to have gone on at least a first date and nothing happened after that. We should not beat ourselves up especially if no cross word we had and both were respectful of one another.

It could be that they picked up on that you were genuinely was looking for someone and they weren't.

That after reading your emails they realised that you were no fool and would not be easily taken advantage of.

They got cold feet.

Something personal happend in there life that made them retreat.

That they realised that you were not what they were looking for (that's okay, it works both ways sometimes that happens for us also).

What I am trying to say is don't be hard on yourself if you were just being you and you were being 'nice'.

Anyway males wanting a valentine this valentines day let me know.

Of course you may get a yes or a no but like I said let us just chill out on ourselves and not look for the negatives about ourselves if things just don't pan out.

Nothing ventured nothing gained:)

Posted by: mstingle at January 31, 2008 12:37 PM

Hi new to this so plz be gentle. I have had several dates-not coffee meets-in the three years I have been on this site and at best with two of them a relationship formed (although fairly shortlived) and at worst I have several new friends who still text regularly or catch up occassionally. I don't expect to find the next love of my life on this site-if I do-GREAT but if not at least I have a wider social circle and don't sit at home everynight wishing for something more.

Posted by: thislifeis4living at January 31, 2008 10:46 AM

MsTingle said goodbye this morning on the Relationships 3 blog. Seems to have been closed immediately after that, so posting my farewell here.

MSTINGLE @ 9.39am

You are right - it takes so much time - especially for me, because I type so slowly.

I follow only one blog at a time, and when it gets old and tired, as this (that) one seems to, this morning, I jump forward to one that's just started, and never look at the others at all.

My loss, but I have to take some time for other things. And yes, especially sport, which I define as exercise that's fun, unlike pumping iron.

Essential to make you last longer (even more important at my advanced age) and to make sure that you enjoy the process of aging.

Bye for now, MsT. I admire your blog-proofing self-control. I was honoured to be able to take you to lunch and then straight to the Bris. gabfest.

We will all miss your commonsense, honesty and unfailing positivity. But keep your dog on a leash, when it's not lurking in your handbag on men's beds. I'm sure it needs exercise too.

WOODNWINE @ 8.24am:

Those sobering statistics were quoted in the RSVP eZine - about 6 months ago, from memory. May have been from their Little Purple Dating Book, which they used to flog in the 'Zine.

Haven't seen it touted recently - maybe it's being rewritten at the moment, to include some additional good stuff lifted from these blogs. If so, you'll be in there, mate.

Posted by: timewarp1 at January 31, 2008 10:37 AM

OK, today ... 2nd part of RSVP's questions - "What did you think and feel before, during and after the date?" ... presuming we are talking about dates only, not meetings -
having only had a quick meeting previously, there were no real expectations except obviously I was looking forward to finding out more about the person. With the 4 people I have "dated" all dates were enjoyable and fun where we started to get to know each other more intimately (not meaning sex). After the dates, I felt happy that I had connected with another person and that there was a good prospect that we would see each other again with 2 of them and an uncertainty with the other 2 even though we got on very well .... this was due to those women being fun but not really my "type" IE no strong physical attraction.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 31, 2008 8:37 AM

ktoz ... I haven't actually had this happen (well, only slightly) but I have heard that many (particularly women) have. Personally, I find it truly amazing what some men will come out with on a first meeting ... would even make me blush.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 31, 2008 8:28 AM

I wish there was a section where you could give reviews after a date - and warn the other members!!! After a couple of shockers - and I don't mean 'we didn't get on' - I mean Shockers - where people aren't who they say they are - look nothing like their photos and are a serious menace to society - there should be a "Think Twice" flashing icon...red.....with skeletons....
Feel free to shout at me

Posted by: ktoz at January 31, 2008 1:43 AM

Hi Kateegirl,

For me the payoff is the forming of friendships; the big payoff will come if one of them leads to something more substantial. I wont be disappointed either way; its all about allowing the other person to be themselves whilst you are yourself, not pretending to be someone that you think you should be in order to attract the person to whom you are attracted.

Hopefully, good or bad, I will always be myself at all times, regardless of the consequences, because I dont see the oint in trying to be someone that I am not.

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at January 31, 2008 12:48 AM

Let's see about these questions...
I haven't been on a first date..
...which means I met nobody nowhere
...and didn't do anything
...so I didn't feel anything in particular
...I guessed that they weren't the one..since they weren't there to begin with.
...It wasn't so bad since nothing bad happened but I was expecting more somehow..I guess finding that someone that makes life fulfilling is harder than logging on...
...I guess that means this isn't a success story. Damn. Buggered that one up a bit ^_^!

Oh well, back to doing all I can to fit those requirements checkboxes women are looking for...and trying to work out HOW to do this WHILE looking for that perfect woman...

Posted by: stuvik at January 31, 2008 12:44 AM

Hi again Bob, its human nature to keep trying. It might just pay off in the end!!

Posted by: kateegirl at January 31, 2008 12:35 AM

Hi Kateegirl,

Cannot agree with you more (starting to sound like a broken record on your posts, but you cant dodge the facts). It is not easy to find that connection that will lead to that long term relationship that I am sure all on here really seek. However, I have met some really great people through RSVP and the blogs....they may be interstate in the main, but nevertheless, finding friendship is the next best thing.

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at January 31, 2008 12:32 AM

ninaschen, thanks for posting the article and it is interesting. Perhaps an Australian company will do matchmaking by logorithms? Will read more about it, as yes it is fascinating.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 31, 2008 12:14 AM

To me it does not matter if I find someone on RSVP or falling over them in the street, lol:)

Posted by: mstingle at January 30, 2008 8:54 PM

You just never know mstingle!

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 31, 2008 12:11 AM

I think there are a lot of very nice people in here. A lot though are looking for Mr or Mrs 100% Perfect and are missing a chance to find someone they could/may be happy with.

Some choose to hide their profiles for reasons that are valid to them and at the end of the day it is a free world.

I am always a bit amused that in all these sites there is the resident angry person...........

Posted by: fenianau at January 30, 2008 11:16 PM

picksy....

...except you, obviously.

haha- poof woof yourself!!!

Posted by: decoratress at January 30, 2008 11:09 PM

decorator...here is some magic pixie dust!!...poof, woof,!!! now you are perfect! and everyone understands you (<;)

Posted by: pixiemagic at January 30, 2008 10:34 PM

I joined up to make new friends, in a new town, starting a new life.

Honestly, why would you seriously bother to try to find love, or friendship on this site?

Our resident Psychology student, and her cachet of psycho buddies, would only deride you for forming a friendship that excluded them, or did not allow them to be "the leader of the pack". What rot!

Posted by: origami1107 at January 30, 2008 10:32 PM

I have times when I think its a hopeless cause. There are lots of people on this site but its very hard to get the true essence of someone through a photo and a few words. I do know of someone who found their partner on here though, so it does happen. But perhaps by the sheer number of people who have been on here for a while it doesnt happen for us all. But having said that, it is still a great way to meet people you would probably otherwise never have done.

Posted by: kateegirl at January 30, 2008 10:28 PM

G....if you are back.. where did you send the email? My profile is hidden on here.. actually going to take it down completely.

Crap I must be one of those bloggers Pixie who is hiding.. hehe.. nah not hiding just not looking anymore.. have found my one.. and am just happy to read the blogs and post once and awhile.

Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 30, 2008 10:20 PM

magicpixie...

If you're far from angry...
why are you shouting "and you are no doubt FAKE!!!!" and calling me "pathetic!!!"?

I didn't make it any clearer?
Wow... then, with all due respect, I reserve the right to be as condescending as I wish...

You know... as you reserve the right to call me names...?

Did it occur to you that I may have met someone here because I "put my profile up there as a genuine person?"

So... let ME get this clear... I should immediately leave the blogs never to return... unless I leave my profile visible? ...otherwise I'm being dishonest?

As you are no clearer about the issue... hey, feel free to Ask (as opposed to Vent) .. I'll use smaller words.

Posted by: decoratress at January 30, 2008 10:07 PM

Boy am I having problems leaving out words today. I am either going senile or I have a gremlin in my computer:)

Posted by: mstingle at January 30, 2008 9:51 PM

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 30, 2008 9:03 PM

I suppose the friendship finding happened because as singles looking for a partner we all have that in common to start with then we all have past relationship experiences as well.

Where as a work or school we would have to lucky to find a number of people from similar experiences or at the same stages of life, singledom or interests. So chances of catching up socially even if you get on are slim.

Posted by: mstingle at January 30, 2008 9:48 PM

mstingle - yes making lots of new friends is something I had not expected from a dating site !
A very unexpected bonus ! Who would have thought !!

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 30, 2008 9:03 PM

it can happen i know it can cuz it happened to people i know. In my case though nothing ever goes right.. i feel like i'm never going to meet someone whose wanting the same things as me and not just sex. That RSVP ad that says the rest r just tools is so right but most of the tools are on here too! I admit that looks play a role and I need an attraction straight off its not because i'm shallow it's just natural to want attraction on an emotional level as well as physical. Aren't there any attractive, nice and genuine guys within close proximity around ??????
Sure theres a few good looking ones on here but they all seem to fit the profile of a tool once you discover what their real intentions are...

Posted by: nicegal84 at January 30, 2008 9:00 PM

decorator....no I'm far from angry and no you dont make it any clearer and hey...dont be so condesending!!...the one thing I hate about this site is the dishonesty that so many employ and I know others hate it too!!. I put my profile up there as a genuine person and I just think that everyone else should do the same thing...ok grounhog day! but thats the way I feel

Posted by: pixiemagic at January 30, 2008 8:56 PM

& picsee.....

I listed the valid reasons why people hide their profiles.

I note that you've not responded, except to slag me off.

Seeing as you have such a problem with hidden profiles- why don't you contact RSVP & ask them why they gave their members the option?

Please RSVP-c an YOU explain it to her?
Thanks...

Posted by: decoratress at January 30, 2008 8:55 PM

Yes love and a partner can be found on RSVP. Some on the blogs are in relationships now, some know of others that are togethers and some have been to weddings of ex RSVP members. I also has a colleage who's father met his 2nd wife on RSVP.

So far I have made some new friends which I was not looking for but was lucky to find, what a bonus.

To me it does not matter if I find someone on RSVP or falling over them in the street, lol:)

Posted by: mstingle at January 30, 2008 8:54 PM

picseemagic....

oooh- you are an angry little pixie aren't you!!!

hahaha... you certainly make a lot of assumptions, none of which relate to what I said.

I'll elaborate for you a little, shall I, so you know the facts?

I'm delighted.....
to be seeing someone I've recently met through the blogs. What gave you the impression I've decided he's my Soulmate?
Recently. Note the word. I like to get to know someone properly before I decide he's my Soulmate, thank you very much. It seems the intelligent option.

I like this site. I thought I'd explained quite clearly that I'd met friends (of both sexes) through the blogs... it follows that I can be bothered with this site.

Why don't I show my profile & say I want friends only?
Because I'm not actively seeking more.... I have plenty of friends, some of who post here & whose comments interest me.
And because I've better things to do than reply negatively to men who contact me despite my stating I seek friends only......

Calling me pathetic is.... well....
PATHETIC.

Does this make it a little clearer for you....

Posted by: decoratress at January 30, 2008 8:39 PM

Posted by: woodnwine at January 30, 2008 7:05 PM

It took me a couple of years to get out of my marriage, not that he would have done anything to stop me. It was just that he was a really nice person and we had small children.

I didn't want to hurt anyone but it ate at me. Some times I would cry because I wanted to have an intimate relationship that he could not give me.

There was no one that I could talk to about it either. The only person I discussed the reasons why our relationship had failed was the old lady across the road but though she was nice, I don't think she really understood being from another era where even if your husband was beating you, you had to stay in your marriages.

My 6 year old who was 4 at the time cried when I drove her father to Hervey Bay to live but soon got used to the idea after under 6 months. I think this is due to the fact that my ex and I don't fight and the children can share a meal with both parents sometimes.

I know I am not living in the past as the person below suggested (who is not worth mentioning their name obviously another neg with problems).

I like I said thought about this for a number of years but I had to get on with it. No use trying to bring alive what will never breath life.

I tried looking at the single scene a few times over the nearly two years that we have split up but kept getting cold feet. However I knew I was ready to date this time round that I ventured into it because it seems natural now.

The timing has to be right for all of us.

However it not going to that easy at first I think when I look back between my serious relationships I dated a few before finding someone each time.

In the past I would beat myself up it things were not going right if I went out with someone that seemed in every way right but I would stuff up some how or run.

Now I know that this is normal and it may happen this time round so I am not going to wonder what is wrong with me if it does not work out with dates but when the right person for me comes along I will be now because it will just naturally happen.

If I like him and find him attractive then if he feels the same way about me it will happen.

We should not be afraid the time will come and along the way if we like someone but feel inadequate with someone it is because they are not the one, we are just to move on until we find someone that makes us feel that we are just so special and the one for them.

I have had emails and no dates as yet and I am really nervous about not measuring up some how, now I could give up and sometimes I feel this way but we have to face our fears otherwise we will remain alone.

I think we have to surround ourselvse with good people and read books and watch movies that are up lifting and inspiring to help us along the way.

We need to avoid the negs and this is hard sometimes on these blogs were they lurk waiting to pounce on the vulnerable and eat on our confidence as far as finding a partner.

Anyway lets not give in any of us. Heres to our new lovers and may they be the best years of our lives.

Posted by: mstingle at January 30, 2008 8:35 PM

I agree with you woodnwine. My ex husband and I were friends with no passion also. Nothing wrong with wanting it all and not settling for second best.

Posted by: renaissancegirl1966 at January 30, 2008 7:50 PM

as for this topic ...people (ie: Bloggers) you answered it yourselves...exactly how long have you been on RSVP and does love mean chatting incessantly to each other on the blogs, i think not. No you cannot find love on RSVP. Lately its just an expensive chat room.

Posted by: hondalady at January 30, 2008 7:40 PM

mstingle - I agree completely.... friends is good but I need more for a good long-term relationship. For most of my marriage my wife and I were friends and got on OK but there was no passion, no lust if you like. I want it all!!!

Posted by: woodnwine at January 30, 2008 7:05 PM

Posted by: woodnwine at January 28, 2008 6:48 PM

This is exactly how I found it with my 2nd husband ended up good friends and that is all. I will not settle down with amyone again unless we are also sexually compatable.

Posted by: mstingle at January 30, 2008 6:27 PM

OK, today I am getting back on topic or be dammed....success stories.

What was the first date like? .... I've only taken a few meetings to the stage of a date but when this has happened they have all been good, fun experiences ... otherwise we would have been bad judges wouldn't we? First dates have generally been for dinner as it's a nice relaxed way to get to know someone. There ... that's the first bit answered.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 30, 2008 1:00 PM

pixiemagic @ Jan29 10.47...

"Why don't a lot of these bloggers have or show their profiles??? Without it you have no credibility and if you are hiding from something/someone... you shouldn't be here!!! and you are no doubt FAKE!!!!!"

oh boy

Groundhog Day

Here we go again....
My profile is hidden (because I've recently met someone... goodness, is that so hard to understand... it's, like, THE GOAL isn't it?)
I was a regular blogger, & have enjoyed (mostly) the public forum here.
I've met the most delightful people through the blogs, & am a 'member' of the Notorious Melbourne Clique (gee- I thought we were just some people who got together & became friends through our interaction on said blogs...)
The person I'm seeing I also met through the blogs.

Now

...does this mean I must abandon any interest in reading or posting here?

...can you please explain that to me?

There are many reasons for having a hidden profile.... they've been offered up for public comment COUNTLESS times, after comments such as yours.
RSVP gives the option to hide one's profile, so obviously THEY see it...

SO... once again...

- currently dating
- privacy issues re work
- unwanted attention from ex
- or simply Their Choice

My reason for hiding my profile... delights me! Aren't we all here to Meet Someone? However, I feel perfectly entitled to continue reading (& sporadically posting) despite my profile not being visible.

Your comment is ridiculous.

decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at January 30, 2008 11:39 AM

It seems it might be appropriate to reproduce this article from today's New York Times here:

Hitting It Off, Thanks to Algorithms of Love
By JOHN TIERNEY

PASADENA, Calif. — The two students in Southern California had just been introduced during an experiment to test their “interpersonal chemistry.” The man, a graduate student, dutifully asked the undergraduate woman what her major was.

“Spanish and sociology,” she said.

“Interesting,” he said. ‘‘I was a sociology major. What are you going to do with that?”

“You are just full of questions.”

“It’s true.”

“My passion has always been Spanish, the language, the culture. I love traveling and knowing new cultures and places.”

Bogart and Bacall it was not. But Gian Gonzaga, a social psychologist, could see possibilities for this couple as he watched their recorded chat on a television screen.

They were nodding and smiling in unison, and the woman stroked her hair and briefly licked her lips — positive signs of chemistry that would be duly recorded in this experiment at the new eHarmony Labs here. By comparing these results with the couple’s answers to hundreds of other questions, the researchers hoped to draw closer to a new and extremely lucrative grail — making the right match.

Once upon a time, finding a mate was considered too important to be entrusted to people under the influence of raging hormones. Their parents, sometimes assisted by astrologers and matchmakers, supervised courtship until customs changed in the West because of what was called the Romeo and Juliet revolution. Grown-ups, leave the kids alone.

But now some social scientists have rediscovered the appeal of adult supervision — provided the adults have doctorates and vast caches of psychometric data. Online matchmaking has become a boom industry as rival scientists test their algorithms for finding love.

The leading yenta is eHarmony, which pioneered the don’t-try-this-yourself approach eight years ago by refusing to let its online customers browse for their own dates. It requires them to answer a 258-question personality test and then picks potential partners. The company estimates, based on a national Harris survey it commissioned, that its matchmaking was responsible for about 2 percent of the marriages in America last year, nearly 120 weddings a day.

Another company, Perfectmatch.com, is using an algorithm designed by Pepper Schwartz, a sociologist at the University of Washington at Seattle. Match.com, which became the largest online dating service by letting people find their own partners, set up a new matchmaking service, Chemistry.com, using an algorithm created by Helen E. Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers who has studied the neural chemistry of people in love.

As the matchmakers compete for customers — and denigrate each other’s methodology — the battle has intrigued academic researchers who study the mating game. On the one hand, they are skeptical, because the algorithms and the results have not been published for peer review. But they also realize that these online companies give scientists a remarkable opportunity to gather enormous amounts of data and test their theories in the field. EHarmony says more than 19 million people have filled out its questionnaire.

Its algorithm was developed a decade ago by Galen Buckwalter, a psychologist who had previously been a research professor at the University of Southern California. Drawing on previous evidence that personality similarities predict happiness in a relationship, he administered hundreds of personality questions to 5,000 married couples and correlated the answers with the couples’ marital happiness, as measured by an existing instrument called the dyadic adjustment scale.

The result was an algorithm that is supposed to match people on 29 “core traits,” like social style or emotional temperament, and “vital attributes” like relationship skills. (For details: nytimes.com/tierneylab.)

“We’re not looking for clones, but our models emphasize similarities in personality and in values,” Dr. Buckwalter said. “It’s fairly common that differences can initially be appealing, but they’re not so cute after two years. If you have someone who’s Type A and real hard charging, put them with someone else like that. It’s just much easier for people to relate if they don’t have to negotiate all these differences.”

Does this method actually work? In theory, thanks to its millions of customers and their fees (up to $60 a month), eHarmony has the data and resources to conduct cutting-edge research. It has an advisory board of prominent social scientists and a new laboratory with researchers lured from academia like Dr. Gonzaga, who previously worked at a marriage-research lab at U.C.L.A.

So far, except for a presentation at a psychologists’ conference, the company has not produced much scientific evidence that its system works. It has started a longitudinal study comparing eHarmony couples with a control group, and Dr. Buckwalter says it is committed to publishing peer-reviewed research, but not the details of its algorithm. That secrecy may be a smart business move, but it makes eHarmony a target for scientific critics, not to mention its rivals.

In the battle of the matchmakers, Chemistry.com has been running commercials faulting eHarmony for refusing to match gay couples (eHarmony says it can’t because its algorithm is based on data from heterosexuals), and eHarmony asked the Better Business Bureau to stop Chemistry.com from claiming its algorithm had been scientifically validated. The bureau concurred that there was not enough evidence, and Chemistry.com agreed to stop advertising that Dr. Fisher’s method was based on “the latest science of attraction.”

Dr. Fisher now says the ruling against her last year made sense because her algorithm at that time was still a work in progress as she correlated sociological and psychological measures, as well as indicators linked to chemical systems in the brain. But now, she said, she has the evidence from Chemistry.com users to validate the method, and she plans to publish it along with the details of the algorithm.

“I believe in transparency,” she said, taking a dig at eHarmony. “I want to share my data so that I will get peer review.”

Until outside scientists have a good look at the numbers, no one can know how effective any of these algorithms are, but one thing is already clear. People aren’t so good at picking their own mates online. Researchers who studied online dating found that the customers typically ended up going out with fewer than 1 percent of the people whose profiles they studied, and that those dates often ended up being huge letdowns. The people make up impossible shopping lists for what they want in a partner, says Eli Finkel, a psychologist who studies dating at Northwestern University’s Relationships Lab.

“They think they know what they want,” Dr. Finkel said. “But meeting somebody who possesses the characteristics they claim are so important is much less inspiring than they would have predicted.”

The new matchmakers may or may not have the right formula. But their computers at least know better than to give you what you want.

Posted by: lamuse at January 29, 2008 11:52 PM

Samathabrit....I do understand your frustration at the fake profiles....it drives us all insane with their coming and going and trying to work out who's genuine but I really don't understand you're attack on woman in their 40's.
You will find some of these fake profiles are men pretending to be women and I'm hoping this is who you're referring too!
Waterbombe is genuine and real, and a lovely person....I think you've really gone of the track here!
Your frustration of fake profilers is shared by many genuine women on here!

Posted by: brilliantblue at January 29, 2008 11:47 PM

samanthabrit ...what are you??...a whoose???...I did not mention you by neame but you onviously recognised yourself. I dont need to care who you are nor do I need to email anyone in Melbourne..its obvious that you are a fake and one of the ten you mention..you should know!!

Posted by: pixiemagic at January 29, 2008 11:40 PM

I have said this before and I say it again...why dont a lot of these bloggers have or show their profiles???..without it you have no credibility and if you are hiding from something/someone...you shouldnt be here!!! and you are no doubt FAKE!!!!!

Posted by: pixiemagic at January 29, 2008 10:47 PM

...and lastly, WnW...they are never "perfect" for you if it is not reciprocal.

Posted by: istj54 at January 29, 2008 7:07 PM

I met a guy on here last year and we both fell hard and fast. Unfortunately I found out he had major issues with his separation and other emotional issues besides when I was in too deep. We broke up after six months. I had been organising a pre-nup but still lost a bit financially not to mention the months of stress. I learnt my lesson and will be more cautious next time around.

On the plus side I have made a lovely friend who I consider a big brother and it was he who persuaded me to return here. Gotta stay positive!

Posted by: renaissancegirl1966 at January 29, 2008 5:14 PM

All I want is love, love, love. But this is something that grows from being first and foremost a friend, a good friend you can converse openly with. I am here waiting for that person who is willing to share their thoughts, feelings and experiences of life.
Honesty is a great thing and it begins with oneself. Personally I am not needy but in need of a great person to be able to communicate with, someone who's company will be valued and enjoyed, someone to respect and care about, give some of lifes simple pleasures to. Ho hum do I just dream or is there a real possibility of finding such a person.

Posted by: malessa at January 29, 2008 12:52 AM

In my experience have to say no. The few men I have met seem to be dreaming. We are, none of us perfect, those I have met either want a mother, carer or hot fling.
I have not given up. I am sure there is someone out there waiting for a relationship which is wholesome,honest and of course fun. Whatever happened to friendship, I thought that was the beginning of all, not the jump in at the deep end.

Posted by: malessa at January 29, 2008 12:42 AM

Gotta say I have met some great people via RSVP. not all had a spark that would lead to more than friendship but I find this a great way to make contact with like minded people in my area.

I believe that there will come a time when that contact will be with the one.

Have to agree that it is a bit of a balancing act to determine when to try out the physical side. don't want to leap in too soon or leave it so long that if it doesn't work it is difficult to proceed.

Posted by: butterflies1966 at January 28, 2008 10:49 PM

Its sooooo true, Just when you think you have found someone you really connect with on all levels ( and how!!) and you are sure the feeling is mutual yet you find they still have their profile up on rsvp even though you have been seeing each other for about 2 months!! What is a girl meant to think? I have been getting a little disillusioned, but here goes one more time having just made my profile visible again.

Posted by: arpege1 at January 28, 2008 10:18 PM

Well, I believe that it is possible to find the perfect person for you on RSVP .... but, as in life, will they think the same way?

Posted by: woodnwine at January 28, 2008 9:55 PM

Yes istj ... if you get on with someone really well you do try to make the sex better .... but there is only so much you can do if there is no "spark" and you can only try for so long. And then when you meet someone where that is just so fantastc right from the first time then you know you were right.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 28, 2008 8:24 PM

WnW, I think that I would find it hard to wait for months, if I was so attracted to someone...especially at my age.
Maybe, just maybe, if a person puts you off for that long they may not be so confident in the bedroom and this could be a red flag. Just maybe?
Another thought: If you have known the person this long(months) and get on really well, do you try to make the sex better...or just give up?
Also, as far as your log in problems go: I can confirm that it must be different computers. I always get right in on my apple ibook but am having difficulties on my son's acer...but I persisted...there's a good word for everyone: Persistence:))

Posted by: istj54 at January 28, 2008 7:45 PM

Have a good night Alaine and follow your heart.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 28, 2008 6:49 PM

istj54 - what I was inferring was ... don't date too long, get real friendly, romantic and maybe even attached and then months later find out that it just doesn't work in the bedroom. It's then very difficult to work out where things can go from that point ... if in fact they can go anywhere.

And I'm not saying to just sleep with everyone you meet ... I'm saying if you meet someone you are really interested in, don't leave it too long.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 28, 2008 6:48 PM

Good luck Aliane...if you are saying what I think you are saying..Enjoy:))

Posted by: istj54 at January 28, 2008 5:54 PM

....was only joking, WnW...on a much more serious note now...Women should wait until their is a definite connection before having sex with a man. Otherwise she will be/could be overcome with oxytocin and attach too quickly to said man...and he may not be the "one".
Men, wait for the lady to seduce you...then you know for sure that she is into you.
WnW, if it is going to be bad sex, it will be no matter the interval between meeting and sex and it will be awkward anyway. My advice, wait till she makes the first move.
That doesn't mean that a man should not be romantic and tactile.

Posted by: istj54 at January 28, 2008 5:50 PM

Woodnwine...safest to do it in the car after the first meeting...if it's great in the car, it should be mind blowing in the kitch....I mean bedroom:))

Posted by: istj54 at January 28, 2008 4:03 PM

Sorry istj54 - can't necessarily agree on that one. I was talking more about intimate connection than "bonking".

Alaine ... I think peopel usually know when the time is right ... when you get that "spark" but I do suggest that you don't wait too long unless you are happy to just be friends.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 28, 2008 5:19 PM

...well Aliane...be careful of the rear vision mirror then:))

Posted by: istj54 at January 28, 2008 4:31 PM

Woodnwine...safest to do it in the car after the first meeting...if it's great in the car, it should be mind blowing in the kitch....I mean bedroom:))

Posted by: istj54 at January 28, 2008 4:03 PM

Lamuse - I know what you are saying .... I once went out with a woman for quite a long time before making it to the bedroom and when we did, it just didn't work. I could never tell her that though .... how would you? Kind of raises an awkward question doesn't it .... how long do you wait before "going to the bedroom"?

Posted by: woodnwine at January 28, 2008 2:42 PM

Posted by: woodnwine at January 28, 2008 11:27 AM

This can happen even down the track..have had the experience of getting on well with someone and then after numerous dates making it to bedroom..only to find that there was not good compatibility, for me. Now, that's a hard one to tell someone as it really hits where it hurts.

Posted by: lamuse at January 28, 2008 11:40 AM

waitingforafairytale - I think it can be hard for some people to actually talk to you and tell you that they don't want to continue things ... the easy way out is silence. It happens, I had it happen once more than a year ago ... she went away for a holiday and I never heard from her again.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 28, 2008 11:27 AM

Today122 - I think it's what they call chemistry .... or lack of it. I have made the mistake in the past of emailing/chatting on the phone a lot and getting on well but then when you meet there is nothing. I think the emails and chats are just an indication and nothing more .... of course there are exceptions but they are rare I think.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 28, 2008 11:25 AM

waitingforafairytale
One thing that I don't get is how you email and talk on the phone, whatever, and there seems to be some sort of wavelength, however fleeting. And you look forward to the meeting and there's absolutely nothing.
I recently had a "meeting" with someone who I'd talked to really easily, lots of laughs, whatever, then on actually meeting, he seemed so not interested in being there. Just couldn't figure that out at all. Not sure why he actually turned up.
Not losing any sleep over it, sometimes it happens I guess. Just wasn't going to happen, obviously. Nothing wrong with either him or me. But better to have no expectations really, then you don't get disappointed.

Posted by: today122 at January 28, 2008 10:58 AM

wantingafairytale.
To avoid the possibility of misunderstandings post a photo of yourself standing.
There will be no issues if a prospect thinks size and shape are important.

Posted by: laughsandtalks at January 28, 2008 4:47 AM

Posted by: wantingafairytale at January 27, 2008 8:33 PM

wantingafairytale: if you can consider it a meeting and not a date, it could make you feel better??? How horrible but best to find out early that someone has no manners for one thing. You may have to meet some frogs before a prince appears. Hang in there, it will get better.

today122...Goodnight - hope you had a good evening. Tonights menu looked yummy and I hope they saved me some dessert as promised. Went for a huge walk on the beach with a girlfriend hey. Then we took the dog for a walk on a walking path : )))

Posted by: samanthabrit at January 27, 2008 10:45 PM

"the other reason I have not posted is because rather than spending money on dating and flying around the world chasing women for sex, I decided to spend my money on my house.
new furnishings,light fittings,accessories ,that is I know I will be here for the rest of my life so it makes sense to spend the money on me and my comfort and man ,it is really looking nice.
Anyway, i think a lot of you will find out the hard way that inernet dating is a complete waste of time and you are better off standing on a street corner or advertising yourself."

Hey sambrit...going to spend my money on doing up my yard tropical style and travel. The blog is good for some people to make friends on. There are some nice men and women on RSVP. RSVP is fine to meet people, what happens after that depends on the people. If people are time poor, online dating could be better than just mingling with workmates. Lavalife and match.com are not very classy sites. Now that live music venues and pubs have no smoking in Adelaide, going out is now nicer and more of an option for me.Oh and I'm meeting lots of people in my new sales job (not cars). Some people firmly believe when someone stops looking that they will find their true love.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 28, 2008 1:51 AM

well samanthabrit if you are a man called samantha perhaps that could be the start of your problem..you have confused tha ladyboys no end or encouraged them as one of their own.
I never ask for a relentless month of sex for a first date...a cup of coffee or share a Thai curry is fine...
Perhaps your lack of success may be due to the vibe you give out...'chasing the ladies for sex'
if that is your first/only aim for contacting women then of course you will attract some working girls. Genuine women looking for partners want to know you are interested in them as people. They do not want to realise that in your opinion most women are akin to sex workers who should be on street corners.

RSVP does not advertise "true love" only an opportunity for introductions which may lead to something more.
Can anyone define "true love" anyway?

Internet dating is not a complete waste of time...in fact it is a modern day phenomena which is fantastic if used correctly and with the right attitude. We all know RSVP is a business and have agreed to avail ourselves of their services. If they make money that is to be expected. Why whinge to much about a wonderful way to open up access to innumerable genuine people.
People here are proactive and the ones who are trying to make things happen...they don't sound like losers to me.
It may be you not the house that needs an overhaul before you will find someone.

Posted by: whatididforlove at January 27, 2008 11:15 PM

samanthabrit 10.45 pm Not sour grapes we all have story`s to tell your`s probably different to mine but they all end the same way .Painfull!

Posted by: outamycomfortzone at January 27, 2008 10:53 PM

wantingafairytale 8.33pm
Use this as a pratice run wait untill you have contact with a person spend time with them approx 3 mths they ring neally every night tell you they love you and 3 days latter never hear from them again. They tell me it `s called dumped by silence . Now that hurts ! It shows what sort of men in this case or women get on this site .Its up to you to figure out the wombats to the real people . But they also tell me there are nice people out there too .Good luck

Posted by: outamycomfortzone at January 27, 2008 10:46 PM

wantingafairytale.
He is not a necessarily a liar, but he could have been adult enough to let you know he was no longer interested.
Jen is right it happens all the time.
The thing you have to keep in mind at all times when dating is "don't take it personally" You met a stranger for the first time and didn't click that is all. Nothing wrong with you or him, you just didn't click. The other thing is don't get carried away with too much emailing and talking on the phone before you meet in person, otherwise it is inevitable that too much expectation will occur and this usually ends with disappointment.
I don't think your size had much to do with it...attraction (or not) is caused by so many factors...who knows what it might have been that caused him to back away...could have been something like the color of your dress for all you know!
While he should have had the manners to end it officially, it is not necessary for a person to give reasons why they don't want a second date...they just don't. Better a polite refusal ,than a nasty self esteem destroying list of what they didn't like(I have ahd that happen)
I don't understand why some people feel it is necessary to be nasty or unpleasant if it turns out that there si no attraction in real life...but it happens.

Posted by: whatididforlove at January 27, 2008 9:24 PM

wantingafairytale.........a lot of people have posted here that this sort of thing has happened to them, male and female, all shapes and sizes. If he wont tell you why he doesnt wish to have any more contact all you can do is chalk it up and move on.
I wish you all the best of luck.......it takes time and patience for any of us to find our someone special.

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 8:49 PM

was i expecting 2 much. i mean why couldnt just say something like i am sorry i am not ready, i mean he is 42 for gods sake. i would not eat him. he wouldnt even answer my email or take any calls.

Posted by: wantingafairytale at January 27, 2008 8:37 PM

recently met a guy(he initiated it). thought it went ok and then we left him saying he would ring that night which he had rung everynite previously. alas i have heard no more. think he mite have been disapointed i was largish which he knew before we met. which he said he was ok with and said it was what was on inside that mattered. i am just a little confused and feel like he is a liar

Posted by: wantingafairytale at January 27, 2008 8:33 PM

hi there SSC - unfortunately I'm able to accept willow's gracious offer as well. so I'll just to listen and learn vicariously later on. have fun

Posted by: today122 at January 27, 2008 7:26 PM

Oh yes - I forgot, silly me.
dolphin and kitten were merely waiting on the research to be published.

Posted by: today122 at January 27, 2008 7:25 PM

Where is Wraecca ?
Isnt she the resident fruit tingle expert ?
Or have dolphin and kitten been "testing" also ?
I am so easily confused :) Oh dear......

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 7:21 PM

we're all madder than a meat axe, but that's not a bad thing hey!!!

Posted by: today122 at January 27, 2008 11:45 AM

What is normal anyway today122, and yep today is my houses watering day...only with a hose with a shut off mechanism, he he he.

could not post earlier to reply back to u as I had already posted enough ..enjoy the meal and dont forget to tell us what you wore : ))) I really like the blog and it is a nice side effect of RSV P as someone once posted. I rejoined for the blog you may know...

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 27, 2008 7:21 PM

not me, jenjen - ask the kitten and the dolphin!!

Posted by: today122 at January 27, 2008 7:16 PM

Fruit tingles !!!!!!!!! Hehe....what are you lot up to ??

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 7:13 PM

miss dolphin - in the best ever way, of course!!

Posted by: today122 at January 27, 2008 6:59 PM

today 122.... totally agree. But we are madder than a meat axe in the best possible way. Can some one bring peanut butter to porch , goes well with fruit tingles.

Posted by: dolphin46 at January 27, 2008 6:36 PM

misskitten - back to the knitting for you!!!!!

Posted by: today122 at January 27, 2008 12:21 PM

ahhhh ... now about those fruit tingles ....

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 12:16 PM

and fruit tingles?

Posted by: today122 at January 27, 2008 12:12 PM

dear today122 ...

Can't wait for the porch to be ready

.... sherry has been bought, picked up a batch of nordy biscuits, punch bowl is filled ... ready for a laugh ...

.... waiting .... waiting .... waiting

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 12:01 PM

and dolphin - I'm beginning to think that sane and normal may be - ah - relative. I personally think we're all madder than a meat axe, but that's not a bad thing hey!!!

Posted by: today122 at January 27, 2008 11:45 AM

aw shucks ladies.
A little love-in happening here.
I'm continually amazed at the by-product here. But I think the real by-product may be actually meeting a partner!!
Almost finished painting the porch, so please be patient!! I'm working as fast as I can.

Posted by: today122 at January 27, 2008 11:44 AM

Time for porch extensions maybe.......

Posted by: twoeyes at January 27, 2008 11:16 AM

Morning everybody, not too sure about meeting "the one " here, but as for extaordinary bonus of meeting and making new friends via blogs...fantastic. We all come across the odd "loopy lou" here and there, but an amazing number of warm,funny and interesting people are also found.
Today 122, like you I am amazed at the totally sane,normal people i have met thru blogs who are single. I thought it was a geographical thing for me, but to meet people from larger areas who also have trouble connecting has been a revelation.To all those I am in touch with... i think you are all great..... :))

Posted by: dolphin46 at January 27, 2008 10:39 AM

That porch is going to get very crowded shortly kitten :)
Looking forward to that !!

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 10:39 AM

I will have to second you all in making great friends,male and female,through blogging on RSVP from all around the country,many of whom I will meet soon.It pays to think outside the square and not be so focused on meeting the "one".
We are all in the same boat and have supported each other along the way and have had many laughs.

Posted by: graceandcharm at January 27, 2008 10:21 AM

Morning all and thank you today122! The friendships made here are fantastic and was something I hadn't even thought of when I signed up for rsvp, but I am so glad has occurred.
Good friends, good wine (or should that be sherry!) and a lot of laughs.
Sere you on the porch guys.

Posted by: kittenheelsxx at January 27, 2008 10:05 AM

Friendships are a definite benefit of being on RSVP. I'm in Brisbane and have made friends with people in Brisbane, Sydney, country areas of NSW, Melbourne & surrounds, (near) Hobart & (near) Perth. Some of these people I email, some I talk to, some I have met and some I have stayed with when travelling .... really good stuff.

Love .... well, of course that is harder to find but so it is anywhere in life as it involves not only friendship but intimacy ... that tricky combination. From people I have spoken to I do believe it is possible to find real love on RSVP ... why not?

Posted by: woodnwine at January 27, 2008 10:00 AM

I'm sure you can find a lot of things on RSVP, strange people, even stranger people, a few players, the occasional married one looking for extra curricular activities, the odd abusive one, the control freaks and some pretty great bloggers too, but alas, I'm still looking for the tall, handsome one in my locale....as moving is just not an option at this stage.

In the meantime, I've made some pretty great friends, of the female persuasion, an interesting and worthwhile byproduct of this whole blogging thing and when all else fails, a good laugh with the "girls" is a great way to put a new perspective on things.

Jen...all new buildings need to be round - so there are no "corners" for those disillusioned ones!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 27, 2008 9:44 AM

Make that "what Ninaschen, today122 and Jenjen57 have said"!

Posted by: malsie at January 27, 2008 9:37 AM

quirkybutnice, adding to what Ninaschen and today122 have already said, I too am delighted with the network of friends I've met through the blogs. I'm also in a romantic relationship with someone who I also met inadvertently through here too (it has been a few months now).
Previous to that I had heaps of ups and downs with RSVP - a few flings, which were nice and which I wouldn't have had without RSVP - and a lot of dead ends and minor "heartbreaks". This was over a period of a couple of years or so. Every now and then I would get totally disillusioned and give the whole thing a break. Then the urge for male company and energy would return so I'd delve in again.

Some strange dynamics can occur in the blogs from time to time, but it's also been good for me and I'm grateful for it.
Your date sounded like it was great, and I hope it develops nicely for you.

Posted by: malsie at January 27, 2008 9:34 AM

Morning everyone............yes the making of good female friends has been a very unexpected outcome of my RSVP experience !!
But I am so glad I have. If I hadnt been able to talk to other women and share our RSVP experiences I might have gone off to the disillusioned corner permanently :)

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 27, 2008 9:28 AM

QuirkyButNice - lots of bloggers exchange emails and phone numbers. Many also catch up face-to-face regularly either one-on-one or in a group. The Melbourne group was one of the first to kick off socialising with each other. We have had bloggers from Qld, SA, Tassie and NSW join us for lunch at different times.

These aren't cyber friendships. They are real.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 27, 2008 8:16 AM

Morning ladies – and it is all ladies chatting here. Why? Don’t the men think this is a worthwhile topic? Or are they just total non-believers?
I know of one woman who met her current husband through here. Blissfully happy? Not sure, this is a strange woman. She went through a process, which she gladly talks of, of setting up matrices for the guys she met, and this one must have had ticks in most of the appropriate boxes. Mmm I’ve had dates with men like that…….didn’t realize women did it too!
Aliane – love what you say as always – you make so much sense!
And Ninaschen and Jewels – I still shake my head in wonder at the lovely by-product of this dating site – I’ve made some terrific women friends though here, and get together regularly with other gals in Brisbane – even last night. Why should we sit at home alone bemoaning our single status? when we have much more fun and feel so not sorry for ourselves by getting together for a laugh. And what a laugh we have. And we also sit here and wonder just why we’re single – cos we’re just lovely people, even if I say so myself.
And just quietly, two of us discovered last night that we had each dated the same man!! Brisvegas is a small town.
And quirkybutnice – yes we even become friends with geography in the way. Gaining good friendships for now in Adelaide, Melbourne, Sydney, and one day we may even meet up for real. See if the friendship works in person as it does via Telstra.

Posted by: today122 at January 27, 2008 7:25 AM

Thank you slightsynchronicity for your open arms, and victoriadownunder for giving my thinking a little nod. If nothing else, RSVP creates connection and fills a void for the lonely. didnt think I would come back on the blog after my one post, but I just wanted to say how lovely it is that you are all building a friendship. I hope you will exchange real phone numbers, and email addresses and perhaps meet in person, as friends if the geographics work. went on second date tonight with lovely man, and caught myself in the mirror when I came home and saw I looked all sparkly and maybe 10 years younger.. ;-) oh ok, maybe five... but I stick to my point, be discerning..know what you want.. not financially, job wise, height wise...none of those things that can change in an instant (we start to shrink after 45!) but, ethically, morally and really, the entire process is so much nicer, and speedier... speaking of which.. totally agree with Pixiemagic - meet in real life asap.. minimise the fantasy, maximise the dreamlike reality.

Posted by: quirkybutnice at January 27, 2008 1:47 AM

Suzie, sent you an email tonight.. Away for 3 days as of morning so will check for reply when I get back... Sounds good!!! "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at January 27, 2008 12:18 AM

Heyy G... good to see you !! Haven't seen you around for ages. .. hope all is well... so much has happened in my life in the last couple of weeks.. hehe all wonderful stuff. Profile is hidden on here.. ;-)

Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 27, 2008 12:01 AM

not meaning to be critical, amdoingit..but there is hope for you, me and the others : )) and bloggers are making friends - both male and female. Its all good really. If I "only" make friends on here, thats fine.
(was just being reassuring, we are all in the same boat!)

That sounds lovely ninaschen...how special and you are right, it is inspiring.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 26, 2008 11:24 PM

Nina, glad it went well... Love a good wedding....

Posted by: amdoingit at January 26, 2008 10:55 PM

Hi back SSC.. Of course there is!!! Was a pretty negative comment actually when I look at it now. So unlike me... A flat moment methinks... Slap on wrist done and notice duly taken.. No repeats... Those of us that are genuine WILL find someone, somewhere, someday. May not be on this site but we will. In the meantime .. Enjoy "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at January 26, 2008 9:54 PM

I'm back from the 'RSVP' wedding. The bride was radiant and the groom was bursting with pride and love. They married under a magnificent spreading oak tree on their picturesque rural property. They were oblivious to all around them as they chatted and laughed and looked deep into each others eyes throughout the ceremony. Beautiful. Inspiring.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 26, 2008 9:52 PM

Posted by: amdoingit at January 26, 2008 8:19 PM

Maybe there's hope for me yet!!!

Hi amdoingit: there's hope for all of us, surely...
SSC

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 26, 2008 9:33 PM

Good to see you too Amdoingit... can't wait to see you for real very soon, along with the rest of the Loop.

I hope your plan comes off and you don't have to travel quite so much, then you can chat here more often!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 26, 2008 9:30 PM

If you are worried about your money, just don't mix it with anyone else's. You can be in love with someone without joining in with their financial life. You can even live together without getting into trouble financially.

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 26, 2008 8:20 PM

Well, there seems to be a few success stories on here already. A younger friend of mine had her mother (my age) jump onto the site and she met a wonderful man within the first 2 months. Yep, married and still blissfully happy. She also knows of another (mature age) who took 18 months but met her match and have been blissfully happy since. Maybe there's hope for me yet!!!

Like you Nina, have made some wonderful and very special friends through this site and that in itself has made the membership worthwhile. Good luck with your searches all.. "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at January 26, 2008 8:19 PM

The reason long-term (either four year or 25 year) relationships fail is due to one party having an affair. Why are we all still so surprised by this?

Posted by: diamondblue2 at January 26, 2008 8:17 PM

Hey SS, that elusive email's coming your way tonight girl. Better late than never. X "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at January 26, 2008 8:10 PM

Nina, if I'm not mistaken, I think I stand alone as the "Loop Elder". My god, how bizarre is that??? Hope the wedding went well. Catch you soon "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at January 26, 2008 8:09 PM

Hey VDU, welcome back you gorgeous thing.I'm hardly posting at all anymore as you know.. Damn work, need to stop the trekking!!! Post, then I'm gone for a few days again and wella, miss out on responses,etc. Not to mention that the "loop" is time consuming. (76 waiting for me in toto). Not conducive to getting a flow going is it?? However I have a lan to rectify the trekking and before much longer. Wish me luck. See you "soon"!!! Enjoy!!! "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at January 26, 2008 8:07 PM

Thanks SS... I'm an old blogger from way back but have been "missing in action" until very recently. I'm part of the Melbourne group of veterans, eg Ninaschen, Amdoingit, AuntyKaz, Waterbombe etc but it will be wonderful getting to know the newer Blog members!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 26, 2008 6:46 PM

A girlfriend of a friend of mine met on RSVP some years ago, married and are blissful apparently. Another friend got married recently from another site. She is from SA and he is from Qld and they are working out where to live right now. She has children here and considers the issue of access of the kids to the ex who is in Adelaide. He has no children but other ties and responsibilities.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 26, 2008 6:31 PM

Hi victoriadownunder...don't think I have met you on the blogs before? and also of course welcome to livinglife and quirkybutnice. Good luck to you all and yes jovial and pixie magic, issues of property/assets and consequences of a break up should be considered. After going through it once...

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 26, 2008 6:27 PM

I think, as long as the two peoples goals and desires are aligned, longevity is destined but as soon as one of the parties seeks to change and the other is not open to compromise or does not want to travel that road then things will undoubtedly unravel.

Posted by: livinglife at January 26, 2008 4:09 PM

yes Jovial67...I have personally seen a few go down the drain from this site with much trauma and financial conflict and agree everyone has to protect themselves...not just the gals but the boys as well!!.

I'm saddened by the people that meet lovely people on this site "victoriadownunder" to name one...they get together and commit for 4-6 years and then its all over!!...what is it that happens??..do you think its this method of dating and getting to know someone.

I think this type of dating can in many instances lead to high expectations with long email exchanges/phone calls. Best advice...meet ASAP and you'll know instantly whether you will be lovers, friends or nothing.

Posted by: pixiemagic at January 26, 2008 3:23 PM

Thanks for the welcome wishfulthinker! I will heed your advice to keep my arms inside the ride, i have seen some of the twists and turns on here.

Posted by: livinglife at January 26, 2008 3:13 PM

I think one has to be very carefully before they commit especially when you are older and financial...

Posted by: pixiemagic at January 25, 2008 9:41 PM

So true Pixiemagic. Sadly, prenups or cohabitation agreements are a must.

Posted by: jovial67 at January 26, 2008 2:49 PM

I met a wonderful man on RSVP back in January 2001.. we fell in love, bought a house and lived together till the end of 2006. Despite that, we are still very close and I will never regret the eperience or the love we shared.

I'm hoping to find that again, whether via RSVP or out in the real world. Fingers crossed... for all of us!!

And quirkybutnice, I agree with your thoughts!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at January 26, 2008 2:01 PM

I've been lurking in the blogs for a couple of weeks and noticed that other Perthites either don't read these blogs or are too shy to join in.
Hmmm
Thanks to all those in the Eastern States for your entertaining/enlightening discussions.

Posted by: kindredspirit49 at January 26, 2008 1:23 PM

Welcome to the blogs livinglife...I hope your stay will be a pleasant one - just remember the ride can get bumpy, so please keep your hands inside at all times....

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 26, 2008 10:39 AM

Previewing your Comment
I'm not really sure how serious these blogs are, may be just a way for people to connect and share daily happenings.. But I can tell you, if I may, that love IS possible on RSVP. I found it twice, first person I dated lasted two years, second time 3rd person I dated lasted 1 year. OK - you say, but why are you back? because longevity is not guaranteed on RSVP, or in life. I still love these men, as they do me, but life and circumstances change all aspects of our lives - and sometimes we have to simply move on. Its a journey. The key in my humble opinion, is to learn a lesson every day. And to never ever think a relationship that ended was a waste of time, always remember the love and use it to increase the intensity of your next love. If they hurt you, and they probably did, don't blame them, or hate them... you survived it, thank them for helping you grow and move forward to the one who will ultimately hold your hand when you are 80. Dont give up, love is always possible. Its Gods plan.

Posted by at January 26, 2008 4:15 AM

Posted by: quirkybutnice at January 26, 2008 4:27 AM

livinglife, 2 of the couples I mentioned in my previous post tonite are the ones you mentioned, plus Nina did too. Both those are going well. The 3rd one you mentioned, unfortunatly did not work out.
Nina knows the other couple, actually the 4th that met on RSVP, in recent months, they are in Victoria.

GTTC i ma a blogger from the Kapital, now I think I am alone, as I have only seen one other Kapital blogger in months.
There are many Sydneysiders/NSW bloggers, they are the ones that I have met!!!

Well it is late, I will retreat to my bed...night all...jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at January 26, 2008 1:05 AM

I keep seeing Mel and Adl people chatting away here. Not too may Sydneyites. Is it that those of us in Sydney are too superficial??

Posted by: greattimestocome at January 25, 2008 10:46 PM

Ha ha greattimes to come...I keep seeing Brissie, NSW and Vic bloggers on here. Not many Adl people that I know of...must check all the profiles out. Sure Sydneyites are not too superficial, maybe the Sydneyites will let u know who they are.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 26, 2008 12:26 AM

Thanks Ninaschen!

Sometimes that "corner" is often disguised as a mountain or a river or something along those lines! But I agree hopefully when everyone arrives there is something to suit all of us.

Sleep well!

Posted by: livinglife at January 26, 2008 12:05 AM

I will try to answer that before I take to my bed, LivingLife. A few relationships have happened through the blogs. Decoratress and Lurker, Wraecca and BrushKestral, Funlover and Amuso and several others that may prefer to stay anonymous, at this time. All steam ahead, as far as I know!

Posted by: ninaschen at January 26, 2008 12:03 AM

Welcome LivingLife. Ah, that pesky 'corner' that everything is just around. Let's hope it is like a cornucopia and there is always plenty of everything for everyone 'just around the corner'. That's not making a lot of sense, is it? It must be time for bed. Goodnight, all.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 25, 2008 11:54 PM

Being a long time reader I have noticed the absence of a few who posted regularly. I am curious about the few who got together ... mmm.. names I am not sure but there was the lady from the central coast who clicked with the guy with the farm? And I am sure there were some others... oh i know, Wraecca and the lad from brissie and was it Brane and ? Are they still happy does anyone know?

Posted by: livinglife at January 25, 2008 11:44 PM

Yeah I know.. it is sad.. not the same as it used to be in the good old days.. he he... I only come here now to check the blogs and have a bit of a read. I haven't even heard from our friend Stoic for awhile.. and we had kept in touch very regularly.!!

Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 25, 2008 11:42 PM

Hi Suzie - Waving back. Yes of course, I know that! And I also know that you don't scare that easily. But sadly, lots of the others have wandered off and found greener pastures.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 25, 2008 11:40 PM

I have met a few guys on here since being divorced. Some are now friends, no real long term love match has eventuated yet, but you never know what is around the corner.

Posted by: livinglife at January 25, 2008 11:39 PM

Hey Ninaschen.. waving.. I am a Sydneysider .. ;-)

Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 25, 2008 11:33 PM

Long time reader, first time poster.

I met my ex husband through rsvp in 1997 and if you can believe it, it was free then!! Broke up two kids later in 2003. While it was good it was good.

Hey and I am a Sydneysider.

Posted by: livinglife at January 25, 2008 11:21 PM

Yep, really, GreatTimes. As a matter of fact, I know of another wedding coming up at Easter.

So it could happen to us. And no, cheeky, I don't mean US as in you and me, after all I hardly know you but it could happen to anyone at anytime. We live in hope.

Unfortunately, one other marriage that I know of is already on the rocks after less than a year BUT it did happen!

There were lots of Sydneysiders around the blogs once upon a time but some of the less savoury characters chased them away. Hopefully they will be back again, one day.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 25, 2008 11:20 PM

I don't know about finding love on RSVP.. but I know someone who has through facebook... he he ;-)

Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 25, 2008 11:12 PM

Really? Weddings as a result of meeting on RSVP? Sounds too good to be true... I wonder how many kisses each had sent and how many stamps? My 'hit' rate is appalling, but then again, there are not too many attracted to Forest Trolls... ;-)
I keep seeing Mel and Adl people chatting away here. Not too may Sydneyites. Is it that those of us in Sydney are too superficial??

Posted by: greattimestocome at January 25, 2008 10:46 PM

Right back atcha, WnW!

Posted by: ninaschen at January 25, 2008 10:43 PM

Disolutioned? I can't even spell the word, let alone understand it.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 25, 2008 10:42 PM

ninaschen - you are a gem, I hope all your dreams come true .... soon.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 25, 2008 10:29 PM

Yes.

Posted by: woodnwine at January 25, 2008 10:16 PM

Hey Jewels...I have a female workmate who met her mate on RSVP...dated for 6 months and then got married. Two months down the track and after combining their finances selling their own current house and buying one together etc they had a major falling out!!!...he left...back together but its not good....the damage has already been done!.

On this process or any other process I think one has to be very carefully before they commit especially when you are older and financial...lets face it we do not have the time to make it again if someone rips us off... thats it!!.

I'm not a materialistic person but I'm not stupid either!.

Posted by: pixiemagic at January 25, 2008 9:41 PM

I don't know anyone who has met and married thru RSVP, or anyone in a long term relationahip either!! I know 2 couples who are doing well in new relationships, so I do believe that is can happen!!! Just don't know when!!!

And like Nina, I have met and made many friends thru the blogs, followed up with blogger lunchs and other catch ups!!! It is a heap of fun, and an unexpected byproduct of RSVP...I bet you just thoght you were here to meet the "one"...think again..think outside the square!!! it is aWWW world out there...have a lovely evening all...jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at January 25, 2008 8:39 PM

I posted this on one of the other blogs ('cause this one was broken but it looks like it is fixed, now). I am going to a wedding tomorrow (very inconsiderate, by the way, to get married on a long weekend) and the happy couple met on RSVP. Their first baby is due any minute and we are all hoping that there will be only two people enjoying the honeymoon.

Now, about my own success story. I have friends coming out of my ears as a consequence of being on RSVP and specifically, the blogs. There are 15 of us who keep in regular contact via email. They are funny, wise, outrageous and some of the best friends I have ever made. They are male, female, local, interstate, younger, older (well, I think one or two might be) and from various walks of life. Things we have in common are that we have positive attitudes, and are respectful and supportive.

In addition to that group there is an even wider one which displays similar attributes. I reckon I will be here for a long time if I have the opportunity of attracting more such lovely people into my life.

Posted by: ninaschen at January 25, 2008 8:00 PM

Well Sue, if your friends found each other here then there is hope for all of us !!

Posted by: jenjen57 at January 25, 2008 6:46 PM

I can't believe I'm the first on the blog. I'll have to give myself more days off work. Not to mention the great RSVP lunch date I've just had.

Posted by: sue4you at January 25, 2008 6:15 PM

One of my very best friends met her husband on RSVP. They dated for a year and married in Aug. It was one of the best weddings I have ever been to. Neither of them had been married before (35 and 48).

Posted by: sue4you at January 25, 2008 6:10 PM