RSVP Blog
Creating a winning profile: What does it take?
Plucking up the courage to get online to date can be a challenge but then you have to write that profile! Writing a good online profile can be tricky. It's hard to stand out in a way that will get you noticed by the kind of person you're looking for. In this episode of Relationship Matters Lija, an online dating expert, discusses what works and what to avoid and most importantly the best approach to take to achieve success in the online dating game. Have a listen to what Lija has to say Click Here to Listen and then tell us how you went about creating your profile.
Do you have the secret that just might help someone else achieve their dream?
What did you discover worked for you? What things are a must?
And what should be avoided at all costs?
What gets the right kind of person interested in you?
And finally what are your top profile writing tips?
Posted January 4, 2008 2:57 PM
Latest Comments
Blog now closed; thank you for your comments!
Posted by: rsvpproducttest at January 16, 2008 8:46 AM
You mean I still got 2 dates left to go. No wonder she’s hiding and blocking me. Probably thinks I’ve come up with a new de-apparelling device previously unknown to mankind. Got her worried now.
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 16, 2008 7:32 AM
Apparently, the 3 dates thing has been extended to 5 dates according to the book ‘What Men Want’ which is written by men. As I state on my profile a male friend of mine gave me this as a joke Christmas present. So, ladies we have an extra 2 dates up our sleeves if we don't want to look easy.
Posted by: sue4you at January 16, 2008 1:18 AM
Now that has me thinking that if guys advertised their skills more a woman, say, who need a bit of carpentry one week, plumbing the next, dentistry, legal work...who knows where this could lead fellas...and just to see man walk and talk with his hands...hmmmm...now that would be erudite:))
Posted by: istj54 at January 15, 2008 8:41 AM
The resort may get built more quickly then..you thought of going to Circe de Soliel and so forth for a look then istj54. Hope the holiday was good.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 16, 2008 12:29 AM
Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at January 14, 2008 8:49 AM
Yay, ODE I was just going to post where you a fan of "American Pscyho". Yes that is quirky..good on you.
jenjen - very funny post about women over 40 but men do have some redeeming features too and most of us aren't chasing 22YO waitresses, we are trying hard to find someone of a similar age that has things in common with us so we can form a long-term relationship.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 11:00 AM
today122: you do not have to justify your posts...its all good. Be yourself and don't worry about anyone overreacting.
what sort of job, makes me to tired to blog? Maybe I will get used to it...
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 16, 2008 12:25 AM
Maybe I can explain, WISHFUL T.
It's a technique practiced by delta-quality males (that's 4th-rate, if you're not right into the Ancient Greek.)
Been doing it since time immemorial, and is the only reason they haven't died out long ago.
It's commemorated in a cautionary nursery rhyme for girls, which goes something like this:
"Georgie Porgy, gleam in the eye,
Rushed the girls and made them cry.
When the alphas returned from the hunt,
Georgie was gone, the chauvinist grunt."
Posted by: timewarp1 at January 15, 2008 11:46 PM
What if the first couple of dates were just for an hour or two - how do you get to "know" someone in that period of time? I guess respect and self-respect play little part in the whole deal. Jen - 4th date? probably not if sex was all they were after in the first place, and yes if they are a decent guy prepared to put in the time and effort a real relationship may require.
Who knows....you are damned if you do and damned if you don't but I'm not giving up on the thought that the "right" one out there will do the "right" thing..forever the optimist.
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 15, 2008 11:39 PM
Yeah wishful, its actually a better idea to get to know someone a bit better than 3 dates before you get into bed with them I would have thought........JMO
And if you do hook up after 3 dates is there a 4th or do they disappear because you are too "easy"?
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 15, 2008 11:25 PM
Why are these poor excuses for men hell bent on getting a girl into bed in 3 dates? Is it to prove their manhood, their irresistability or what? Why is there a general consensus with these clowns that women are not into a physical relationship? Perhaps if more men put some effort into their performance, techniques and abilities, they might find that the woman they are with will respond a whole lot better. It takes two - she may not be taking part simply because you are a lousy lover!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 15, 2008 11:05 PM
Do you know where to go, Sue4You? We are in the new 'Singles in the Kitchen' blog. See you there!
Posted by: ninaschen at January 15, 2008 10:02 PM
sue4you............forget it darl, we are all in the kitchen tonight, mm4u is doing some nudie cooking and nf has brought the wine.........
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 15, 2008 9:44 PM
Well tonight I feel like placing a sharp needle through RSVP, it has been impossible to sign on. I think its just as therapeutic as a voodoo doll.
Posted by: sue4you at January 15, 2008 9:35 PM
sue4you - I think just a voodoo doll, if we could really be bothered
Posted by: today122 at January 15, 2008 8:08 PM
sue4you
Now you've got me even more confused. How can a cross stitch be nice?
Posted by: timewarp1 at January 15, 2008 7:59 PM
Sorry timewarp1 I can't embroider would a nice little cross stitch suffice
Posted by: sue4you at January 15, 2008 7:46 PM
I'm still very confused, and need more guidance please from you old hands.
I've only been following the blogs for a coupla months. I know Nfish, what he looks like and how his posts go from misogyny (but not quite venom) to admirable erudition - a cross between ODG and femalepers, you could say.
But I've peeped at all 3, and seeing is believing. Liked her pics the best, of course, even if I heard a meow recently that they weren't taken this month. So what? Never forget
"The older I get, the better I was.
That's why they're called the Good Old Days."
Don't know about Earl the Black Knight - I'm actually post-mediaeval, let alone from biblical times, and Earl was only an occasionally-mentioned bitter memory when I started reading the blogs.
What interests me more is the other bloke, who puts in lots of vague clues about being from the Sydney area or a bit north of that. Distractors?
Old hands: Has he ever had his real profile on show? Or is he totally counter-productive? And is he really a number of spoilers, firing in turn like Gatling barrels?
Or just one overgrown tragic schoolboy who's had such a sad, always-ignored life that he only knows about negative outpourings, in the hope of negative responses which are better than being totally ignored?
If so, I can relate to that. My dad lost the plot when I was eight, and tried to ignore me all the time. Depressing. He died when I was 16, and I don't blame him for the cold shoulder. He did the best he could, and had delighted me when I was younger and he could manage to be magical.
What can we do about this unhappy twisted person?
Would it help if we all prayed for him to feel better about himself, so he didn't need to spoil our game all the time?
Could someone embroider all his negative phony names on a cushion, so we could stick pins in it?
We could give it its first savaging at our Brisbane get-together of a dozen or so bloggers this Sunday arvo perhaps. (A stamp to Jen or me deals you in.) That's teabreak over - back to work.
PS: Good one shadow. Loved it.
Posted by: timewarp1 at January 15, 2008 6:34 PM
....perhaps if men worked on becoming more skilled. You should go back to reading...and practising your Karma Sutra, Necroticfish!
What is the hand doing creeping across the bed?...sounds like something from the Adam's Family...if that's how it starts then that's the prblem...what about the foreplay...it has become a forgotten art.
Now on topic...can't think of anything so I guess all this will be deleted by tomorrow as it involves that three letter word that can't be mentioned.
Posted by: istj54 at January 15, 2008 5:05 PM
....where's that newspaper??
Posted by: istj54 at January 15, 2008 4:50 PM
The hand comes creeping across the bed, and the wife once again pretends to be asleep.
Nightly in the nation's bedrooms women are turning off sex in their droves. There is a yawning gulf between men and women in everyday sexual desire.
Most men feel they aren't getting enough and women feel under pressure to come up with what the men want. That's the elephant in the room in many relationships
Joan Sewell is the author of “I'd Rather Eat Chocolate: Learning to Love my Low Libido” Sewell argues that women have naturally lower sex drives. Joan Sewell's husband Kip would have sex five or six times a week if he could have as much sex as he wanted, compared to her once or twice a month. "If I had a choice between reading a good book and having sex, the book wins," Sewell confesses.
But she still feels guilty about it and has tried to rev up her libido. She's tried everything from talking to therapists, taking hormones, to talking dirty and smearing chocolate on her husband's genitals - all to no avail.
Sewell concludes the real problem is that no one is trying to lower men's sex drives. Why don't we hear men saying, "Doctor, my sex drive is too high. Please do something about it. I feel guilty and ashamed that I don't want less sex. It's killing my marriage."
Don Savage, widely syndicated sex advice columnist, comments that whenever he publishes a letter from a man who complains about not getting enough, he's deluged by what he calls "if only" letters from women ... If only she didn't have to do all the housework, she'd want sex.
By proclaiming that low-libido women are normal, Sewell has done men a favour, suggests Savage: "Well now, thanks to Sewell, straight guys everywhere know that it doesn't matter how much housework you do, or how sincerely interested you are in her day, or how much of the childcare you take on: she still won't want to f*** you. So leave the dishes in the sink, grab a beer and go play a video game, guys. Your 'if only' nightmares are over."
From “The Rules For Men” Op Cit
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 15, 2008 4:50 PM
ha ha - damn hormones, make us lose all reason. bit like beer glasses maybe
Posted by: today122 at January 15, 2008 4:43 PM
NF, Do you mean that men should have sex by date three or just some sort of physical contact, say a kiss??
It is highly suggested to women never to have sex too soon into a new relationship as we produce a chemical called oxytocin. It is a bonding hormone and can attach a woman to the man rather more quickly than is advised. She then is looking at him through those rose coloured glasses and can get hurt. This could well be why men are in such a hurry...JMO
Posted by: istj54 at January 15, 2008 4:36 PM
ah jen - a voice of sunshine and cheer. at last.
and istj - it all goes way south when expectations rear the head, of course. What happened to just fun, without having to think all the time.
I think we're all just getting ahead of ourselves.
and maybe I'm the cranky one.
but at least it's raining again, sorry jen
Posted by: today122 at January 15, 2008 4:33 PM
NF - a "relationship" is two people. Not one person writing the rules that the other has to play by.
If men don't like this skipping around the physical, then maybe they need to actually listen to the person they're trying to get physical with. Simple.
Posted by: today122 at January 15, 2008 4:26 PM
I'm not cranky today122. All thi stalk about relationships...what is a relationship...I'd just like to start with some great conversation, dinners, movies, picnics, walks, whatever and just enjoy "being" with that person for a while before we get to all that "my" needs versus "his" needs stuff. I'd like to have some fun just dating...not htinking relationship all the time. That's when it all gets too heavy and goes south. High expectations far too soon.
Agree WnW, you must stick to your core values at all times but sometimes a good discussion can move you a wee bit...but nor from the important stuff. How do we find out about a person's core values? It can take years of thinking you know someone and then you can be blown away by one of their values that you never saw before....hmmm..bit deep for this afternoon methinks.
Posted by: istj54 at January 15, 2008 4:23 PM
Hi today
This chickybabe never does cranky......and definitely not today :)
I am having a fabulous day where everything is going exactly to plan.
The only relationship we can count on to meet our needs is the emotional one we have with ourselves, other relationships just compliment that ( or take from it ).
And no romantic relationships with wussy snags either thanks, give me a bloke any day.
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 15, 2008 4:20 PM
I think you all missed the point.
Don’t you think, by the way women talk here, especially on the blogs, that they are looking for a non physical “relationship,” and that they deliberately skirt around a major issue that cause so much discontent in relationships between men and women, the physical side of things. It is the great unspoken demon lurking to trap all men on this site into believing the doublespeak and propaganda that women preach and their lackey relationship counsellors and consultants reinforce constantly. One well known newspaper counsellor will only give sexless relationships a spin once a year and no more. She pays lip service to the topic. I bet the men who read her column probably get about that much per year too.
The Rules For Men was written with these vulnerable and susceptible males in mind. Those that might believe this propaganda thrown at them relentlessly. Men. Play by the Rules. If you haven’t had it by the 3rd date- WALK. Rule No 1 in the Rules For Men.
Rule No 2 by the way is- Know how many months you have to live in a de facto relationship before she gets a sense and a right of entitlement to your property. She does. Make sure you know it too.
Rule No 3- if you are feeling pressured to marry (whether the pressure is coming from your gf, your friends (as in “everybody else is getting married”), your mother, your sisters etc) DON’T. Take a sabbatical and think about the folly and foolishness of it all. This applies mostly to men under 40. Older blokes know better.
“The Rules For Men” Snipher Books 2008 Ed The Fish
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 15, 2008 4:19 PM
Is a relationship supposed to enable you to meet your own needs, while at the same time meeting someone else's needs of you. Or is it to expect the other person to meet yours, at the expense of their own?
Posted by: today122 at January 15, 2008 4:11 PM
everyone's cranky here this afternoon.
2 people have thrown in little bombs and retreated safely while we react
Posted by: today122 at January 15, 2008 4:07 PM
istj54 - reasonable comment but I believe you have to maintain your core values and needs.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 15, 2008 4:06 PM
TT,
From what I gather from NF's posts, 60 women a year (I am guessing he takes much more notice of your rants than most) are saying "No" to that proposition you put to Istj54.
Sort of makes you think doesn't it......well, perhaps not; surely it has to be their problem that they keep ditching you.
I keep trying to figure out how you see yourself as a man when you keep running and hiding behind numerous profiles; but maybe you dont and just see yourself us one of us pussies!!
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 15, 2008 3:57 PM
and maybe some people have spent enough time and energy forgoing their own needs previously, to their own detriment, and cannot go there again
Posted by: today122 at January 15, 2008 3:49 PM
yes I know, abc and WnW. Of course. If one person's own gratification is considered by him/her to be of greater importance than the other person and their needs, then of course it's doomed.
But that's what was suggested.
Posted by: today122 at January 15, 2008 3:43 PM
Woodnwine, you keep saying stuff that I need to query...I guess that is what blogs are for.
I would consider myself more in a successful relationship if I was able to forgo some of my own needs for someone else...I actually think that not forgoing "my own" needs is part of why I have not been successful yet...as well as that three date touching stuff that NF talks about.
...and NF nothing much that happens in my life would lower my self esteem because that is what it is "my" self esteem. What others say about me, or to me, or think of me, does not have much impact. It is firmly entrenched at my old age...why it's called "self" esteem.
...and BTW being a snag can come across as being a wimp or a wuss. Just be a man!
Posted by: istj54 at January 15, 2008 3:34 PM
"snag'
s=sensitive
n=new
a=age
g=guy
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"SLOB" I feel this is me,
S=slow
L=loving
O=old
B=bastard
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 15, 2008 3:13 PM
For a successful relationship I believe both people should be interested in what they can do for the other, without foregoing their own needs.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 15, 2008 3:10 PM
The woman who is interested in the other person or the relationship is more than likely in a relationship already and not on a dating site seeking self gratification is what the fish was alluding to I feel.
Posted by: abckenny at January 15, 2008 3:02 PM
"never married" is now part of my profile...a good idea as I do get asked if I have been married.
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 15, 2008 3:01 PM
NF,
Interesting comments but let me ask you this (in all seriousness); what makes you think that women are here for you (or for that matter that you are here for them)?
My understanding is that we are all here for our own purposes....obviously you are because you stated that you put "SNAG" in your profile because thats what women wanted to see in order for you to get what you want?
So, if you are here for self-fulfilment, why shouldn't the women on here be looking for the same?
To me, the name of the game is to find mutual fulfilment by finding someone that suits your personal qualities, and you theirs.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 15, 2008 2:58 PM
ye today122 i took my own advice and did place it on my profile just to make sure there was no misconceptions.
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 15, 2008 2:52 PM
A woman who is more interested in the other person in the relationship that she is never able to leave, is called a mother.
Posted by: today122 at January 15, 2008 2:51 PM
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 15, 2008 2:38 PM
you can expand on the choices by writing in the wording of your profile that you've never been married
Posted by: today122 at January 15, 2008 2:41 PM
Neuro- I am glad you said "most men" in your BLOG as I can think of a few women in my past who had itchy feet after 3 dates.
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 15, 2008 2:40 PM
Been here on the blog for awhile now and to me it seems every one has been married ,then divorced. That maybe true,but there is a small number of us who have never been married!.
Even in our profile, when we say single everyone thinks you at one stage had been married.
NO,,,,,,, i would like this to clarify in profiles to say "never married"
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 15, 2008 2:38 PM
ouch this is gonna hurt "today122"
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 15, 2008 2:24 PM
NF - "women who are more interested in what they can do for a male are in high demand. They never leave or are allowed to leave, relationships in the first place so they, by definition, won’t be found on a dating site."
Always good to know that women are only on this planet for what they can do for a male. And never being ALLOWED to leave a relationship is a really really good idea, too, I thought.
Posted by: today122 at January 15, 2008 2:21 PM
nf yepp, if you don't make 3rd base ,your never gonna make home plate, and score
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 15, 2008 2:21 PM
I don’t want to diminish your self esteem Istj, or sound derogatory. I just want to point out that a lot of males still work by the 3 date rule, namely if you haven’t had IT by the 3rd date, you are never going to get it. So at some point between dates 1 and 3 there is going to be some introductory touching or physical contact or you might as well call it a day. If a woman flinches when the male makes the first tentative attempt at physical contact, and there is no reasonable explanation for that withdrawal, that is one of the most telling messages he can receive. More so than anything she is saying. It is body language conveying a very important message (viz she does NOT like you) At that point the male should just walk away
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 15, 2008 2:09 PM
NF...my profile says that naturally I would reciprocate all qualities that I am looking for in a man...but you have given food for thought for the women on this site...we need to start advertising what we can do for "you"...cook, clean, sew, noooooooooo...keep thinking... still thinking............still thinking...ah well...now I know why I am still here...I have nothing to offer...but you could have a lot of fun with chai tea...hmmmm...will that do?...just remember to let it cool down a bit first!
Posted by: istj54 at January 15, 2008 1:27 PM
I must apologise.
I have just checked my copy of the Kama Sutra, page 259.
Position No 4321. Apparently you can begat children , as they say in the Bible, using no hands.
The Chapter is called: Kinky Variations- use cuffs to restrain hands behind back, then proceed as normal.
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 15, 2008 1:15 PM
When writing a profile, always work out what your objective is by being on this site.
99.99% of women, for instance, are on this site for the purposes of self validation.
Their profiles basically are along the lines: this is who I am.
I have yet to read a female profile that says: this is what I can do for you, you lovely man.
Why? Because women who are more interested in what they can do for a male are in high demand. They never leave or are allowed to leave, relationships in the first place so they, by definition, won’t be found on a dating site.
And when it comes to talking about “real men” whoopee do. I include the words “sensitive new age male” in my profile because that is what women want to hear, give them what they want, as a means to an end, and know that it is a facilitator and not a descriptor.
And istj, most men still apply the 3 date rule, so at some point someone is going to get physical or we will all end up in Platonic Heaven where we sit around having cups of Chai day in day out and talking about our feelings, and bonding and hugging trees and loving little children, and motherhood, oh no NOT motherhood (that will never occur if someone doesn’t start touching a female- oh dear they teach this in Grade 1, either in Class or in the playground)
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 15, 2008 1:05 PM
istj54- I love it ! very well said below
Tabletalk, that bench sounds like a good idea for you, but if you look up into a pair of kindly, attractive female eyes they are probably just leaning over you to cover you with their old newspaper. Don 't read anything into it...maybe you could try the personals in it for more dating success.
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 15, 2008 1:02 PM
Istj54,
Yep agree, not there looking at all and do talk to women regardless when the opportunity arises. You can meet any number of nice people; its the "mix and match" thats the difficult part.
I had a bit of a shot at WnW a while ago (no malice intended) about independence; that is my big leap (of which I am aware anyway). What it says is that it is my issue, not hers, and finding someone that can deal with that, and also has the other mix and match qualities is going to be the fun part.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 15, 2008 1:01 PM
NF, when the hands do the talking, I do the walking....and perhaps you have been to DJ's looking for edible undies. I don't think they do those. Perhaps a more discreet outlet.
Notgodsgift...I do pubs but rarely ever see, or meet, anyone suitable. I'm not there looking mind you. Probably like you just there for a drink with friends or a meal, but you would think that over the years you would at least meet a few prospects...but "No" I haven't. What I am getting at is that it seems to be a numbers/luck game anywhere. It makes no difference where you are you are not going to find someone easily or quickly because at our ages it's going to be hard with all the compromise stuff that then kicks in. Almost impossible.
Tabletalk, that bench sounds like a good idea for you, but if you look up into a pair of kindly, attractive female eyes they are probably just leaning over you to cover you with their old newspaper. Don 't read anything into it...maybe you could try the personals in it for more dating success.
And Timewarp...I am always sweet and kindly...just like "The Closer".
Posted by: istj54 at January 15, 2008 12:47 PM
I see there has been yet another reincarnation here, TT has appeared, along with his mudslinging, to see what sticks. It's a dead giveaway when the crap comes out and the profiles are hidden. Amazing what gives some men their thrill, lets throw mud at a bunch of people and see whom we can offend/upset/hurt. At least NF has the guts to put up his profile and not hide.
No, TT, we are not all desperate, some of us are just fussy. As easy as you bag the women on here, you blokes aren't all that great either (sorry to those nice ones..you know who you are). We've been there, done that. None of us married in the first place with plans of divorcing down the track and losing pretty much everything, none of us expected the man of your dreams to turn around one night and whack you just because he needed to assert his "authority". We are here because we choose to be here, because it's a convenient way to meet people, perhaps not the "right" one, but some good friends along the way.
For one so jaded it amazes me that you continue to reinvent yourself (or name) and keep turning up. Obviously the attraction of a smorgasbord of women is still there for you.
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 15, 2008 12:24 PM
Hi Timewarp,
I got my money on NF being Earl and his many other monikers; though he has stuck to NF for a while now.
Both are too easy to detect, though sometimes its hard to tell one from the other...maybe they are Siamese twins?
Sadly, they seem to be pretty smart guys each of them, and say some pretty good stuff at times, but really hard to take them seriously when they feel they have to villify all and sundry. Nothing wrong with airing your opinion, but not necessary to be abusive just because we have had some bad experiences.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 15, 2008 12:01 PM
Tabletalk 918am
I think you need to read your post to Notgodsgift. Don’t you think that the positive reasons that you are still here, not the negative ones, apply to everyone else too, male or female?
Timewarp1 1am
Aw shucks! Well golly gee, well thank you sir, you deserve an apple.
Posted by: mstingle at January 15, 2008 11:46 AM
Big surprises for me this morning.
1) Who else is Nfish? (And that is not necrotic, you naughty female! Wash your mouth out with red cordial ,so you feel and talk sweeter.)
I thought he was the goodlooking, deeply-wounded so often mournful, sometimes negative, sometimes cleverly ironic forty-something biker who lives in my next suburb - think Peter Fonda/Easy rider, but taller, better-looking and far more erudite.
Is he someone else too? And if so, why? I see double identities as a way to hurl crud and abuse from behind a photographer's hide, so to speak.
But Nfish is game to stand out in the open and let fly. Often. Fish, not chicken. So I'm having trouble believing he's got an alter-ego too, sniping from cover.
2) And don't tell me Samanthabrit and tablemanners are the same old sniper? Picked her, not him. Is that why she disappeared? Because he was getting all the attention? Must go polish my crystal ball. After I clock off from work tonight. Seeyez.
Posted by: timewarp1 at January 15, 2008 11:35 AM
TT,
Forgot to answer your question "why am I still here"? Sometimes I do wonder myself because the whole contrived approach to meeting people makes it almost impossible to get spontaneity (which is what happens when boy meets girl in live situations). I guess the answer is that until someone can come up with a better alternative to me meeting women my own age; I will just keep plugging away - I am in no mad rush one way or the other.
Whilst I have received my share of knockbacks, I have met some really nice women through this site as well. Just because they were not into me doesn't make them bad people, and maybe they sense something about my character of which I am unaware....who knows??? Unlike your job, you dont get to do exit interviews when dating.
Bob
PS The reference to NF was his enthusiastic embracing of your post in which you stated "I have met real men, but none on this site".....dont think he realised that he is a guy and on this site.
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 15, 2008 11:07 AM
TT,
Firstly, what makes you think that I hang around bars and pubs looking for pickups? Yes, I do go out with my mates to these venues for beers etc, but not everyone that goes to pubs is looking to pick up; its called socialising. Maybe thats your problem with women....you meet them and they immediately feel that your all pervading motivation is to get them in the sack.
My comment about this was that women my age dont seem go out to these places anymore, so you dont get the opportunity to meet them in real life situations. I already have females friends, just no-one in my own age group (other than mates wives etc).
From my reading of the posts here, plenty of people date each other - finding the right partner is the problem. Maybe some are afaid to commit, but plenty just haven't been able to find the person to whom they want to commit - seems to me that you believe that, just because you meet someone to whom you want to commit, they should have the same view and want to commit to you.......sorry, but life and love isn't that easy.
I am not the one sitting at home watching videos (though I do sit at home and watch videos), developing a massive chip on my shoulder and becoming a bitter and twisted old man because I have received a few knockbacks (and I have received a few).
You are hardly in a position to judge others when you cant get over your own lifes disappointments. Give people a break (and give yourself one), we all do what we feel we have to in order to get what we want. It doesn't always work out for us, but thats no reason to villify others just because they choose to keep trying (even if they do regularly fail).
Finally; no fella, I dont have all of the answers, never pretended to either, but I will agree with you on one matter.....asking for dating advice from people on RSVP is insane.....obvously if we had the answers we wouldn't be here.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 15, 2008 10:49 AM
Istj. You know exactly what I mean by letting hands do the walking and talking.
Having occasionally shopped for women’s lingerie (not out of any sexual masochistic fantasy but mostly to try to encourage a departure from Bombay Bloomers, and since when did Frigid Jones underwear suddenly regain popularity) I have always asked the DJ’s saleschic if she had a range of self destructing, rapidly disappearing, no physical assistance acquired, knickers and bras, and have always been told that such had not been invented yet. So manual licences are always a good thing to have and to hold, as automatics gear shifts still haven’t hit the market in the world of male/female inter cause.
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 15, 2008 9:54 AM
Posted by: tabletalk at January 15, 2008 7:03 AM
I think you are just having fun stirring people..
as to the real estate analogy, how about 'Excellent investment. Good bones and potential, so don't pass this one by from its exterior."
Posted by: lamuse at January 15, 2008 9:23 AM
And to show how hypocritical women on this site are, if you haven’t made a move on them after 3 dates, they start calling you GAY, as one of them did to me recently, and it wasn’t for want of trying either. It’s just that she reacted to physical touch by jumping back 10 feet and silly me, I had forgotten once again to bring my psychiatry manuals with me on a date. So Pillow Talk, you know, and I know, that there are mountains of bs on this site and in women’s minds. So how about a podcast directed at realities, namely how to cut a swathe through all the psychological mendacity that online women carry on with.
Altho most experienced blokes know that a podcast on that topic would only deal with what they already know; if she doesn’t drink and is heavily into Chai tea, expand the 3 date rule to 12 months and allow yet another year of your life to be wasted before you finally realise that “Hey this so called ‘relationship’ is going nowhere. This woman is really STRANGE.”
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 15, 2008 9:20 AM
Tabletalk/Neuroticfish,
Entitled as you are to your own opinions; it begs the question to both of you "why are you still here then"?
Tabletalk says he hasn't met a real man on the blogs.....that includes you then NF so....congratulations, join the club. In this instance TT I really have to agree with you!!
NF, you put plenty of shit on the ladies that have been on here for years but, if you and Tabletalk are the people we all know you to be, then you have been on here for years too....cuts both ways guys. At least the women here have the guts to put up one profile and live and die by their convictions, not change their identity every few days.
REAL men guys......certainly neither of you.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 15, 2008 8:47 AM
Woodnwine....I am just going by my experience and that of other women's conversations over the years....and I am very old now and have heard much.
We all have male friends but usually it is very easy to get rid of a suitor by suggesting that you would like to be "just" friends.
You do weed out the ones who are after other things too, but many still have a bit of hope that you may change your mind later on! JMO.
Necroticfish: Do tell us about this wunnerful woman....and can you walk on your hands? That could be a winner in your profile...Not only can I talk with my hands, I can walk with my hands. Handy...I am a "handy" man.
Now that has me thinking that if guys advertised their skills more a woman, say, who need a bit of carpentry one week, plumbing the next, dentistry, legal work...who knows where this could lead fellas...and just to see man walk and talk with his hands...hmmmm...now that would be erudite:))
Posted by: istj54 at January 15, 2008 8:41 AM
sorry Nina - mmm that was a bit harsh of her!
There's been one real response, but that's why I'm dropping this now. It's all fun until someone gets hurt, so enough fun for now. And I’m only a big chicken after all.
(Tried to post this last night – just froze every time)
Posted by: today122 at January 15, 2008 8:02 AM
TableTalk, you are spot on again as usual. You are a very erudite man. Maybe this year you may get 1 of those 60 you date annually to enable you to change your new moniker to PillowTalk, but on this site, E, you are wasting your breath. At some point everything will have to go in the Trash bin and Empty Trash pressed. What else can you say about the women who have been on this site for over 5 years and who are instantly recognisable because they have used the same photos for the duration. But if you are going to keep knocking your head against a brick wall in futile hope and desperation you have to mouth all the platitudes just to get them within range of stuffing a few bottles of vino down their gullet with nefarious purpose and evil intent in mind (whilst babbling on about relationships, let your hands do the talking and the walking).
Disclaimer: this, of course, does not apply to wonder woman (not the one whose moniker is wonder woman) but the one who is so wonderful that I absolutely adore her.
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 15, 2008 7:43 AM
Hi again
Enjoyed the date - nice enthusiastic person and good-looking too; good food and excellent pestled lemon lime and bitters. And she asked if she can phone me again. All good.
MSTING
I dips me lid to ya. If it was a uni assignment I'd give you a distinction.
Commenting on just your response to my previous post about widows vs divorcees:
Yes you are right: there is always the worry that divorcees may have spoilt their own marriage, learned nothing from that - and be ready to ruin their next relationship with the same counter-productive behaviour.
The divorcees I date are all women. Most of them - well over 50 in total, have told me stories about their Exes that made me believe that my date was the injured party, whether she was dumped like me, or had to leave to protect herself and/or the children.
I'm trusting but not naive. I empathise with these people and share their hope to choose better next time, and to supply and require better behaviour in our next relationships.
I've lost my parents (dad when I was 16, mum 35 years later) and my only son when he was 18. But I'm not a widower.
I've dated a dozen or so widows, and I have felt with nearly all of them that whoever I was and however I behaved, my predecessor would still be uppermost in their thoughts.
They haven't suffered the bad behaviour from their spouse that hopefully breaks the spell of love and, after a decent period of grieving for your vanished dreams, lets you move on with minimum baggage.
Moving on myself, to my cot. Have fun tomorrow while I'm working 2 shifts because I blogged/bludged all day today.
Posted by: timewarp1 at January 15, 2008 1:10 AM
sorry Nina (insert smiley face or grimace or something here!)
and only one real one. that's why this may not be so clever or kind after all.
Posted by: braindancer at January 14, 2008 11:51 PM
today122 at January 14, 2008 8:37 AM
Of course this only my opinion and I haven’t read all your post of course but from memory; I can’t really remember you attacking people. Have a difference of opinion to someone else may be or at times a gripe but we all do that. We can’t be happy about everything, it would be boring if we were all the same and agreed about everything. If someone says something that you disagreee with, it just makes you think about it that’s all and sometimes we change our minds later down the track and think, em they may have had a point. I am sure I am not alone when I say I look froward to your post, whether I understand something from your point of view or not.
today122 at January 14, 2008 8:43 AM
Don’t forget IMA for the massages and building too and Bob said that he would tend the bar as well as help build but he did say he will take no responsibility for any Ladies that enjpy the cocktails too much. We have a chef too from Victoria. By the way how are we supposed to get to our resort? Can any of you men fly planes or helicopters if so maybe a helipad or something has to built also. Ladies with plenty of time off work or studies could sail I suppose, so maybe a Yachts Captain.
Posted by: dolphin46 at January 14, 2008 1:15 PM
Well hopefully it is before I go back to uni or I wont be able to go until mid year break.
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 14, 2008 1:16 PM
Excellent. I will have to go to the grocery store and get myself some of the antivirus programs that you have suggested, maybe a couple of back ups to incase I thing that one program wont do the trick.
Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 14, 2008 1:34 PM
“8. Is butt ugly and too scared to put up their photo
9. People that qualify for No. 8 will also try and sell you the line that it is “what is” on the inside that really counts” (and we all know what crapola that is)”
Now I thought, so much for those who have not been fortunate enough to have been bless with good looks as well as a good personality.
Then I thought okay lets click on this persons profile and she what she looks like, may be she is not as hot as she thinks is, after all we all have different tastes, right?
However what did I find. Gee whiz! Femalepersauasion is not only a very attractive woman but has a really good profile to go with it, darn!
Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 14, 2008 1:48 PM
Don’t agree. I like to see a number of different shots, look at Wendyxx and WnW.I think it looks good and gives you an insight into other things about the person, not just what they look like. I also think that they do look slightly different in all the photo’s, giving you a better idea of what they actually look like.
dolphin46 at January 14, 2008 1:55 PM
I am no super model either but I am sure that some would find me attractive, can’t win them all. I was also thinking too, so all those that are not drop dead gorgeous, what are they supposed to do, leave RSVP. Don’t they deserve to try and find someone to love and be loved in return? Reflecting on FP’s post (# 8)
woodnwine at January 14, 2008 2:13 PM
Yes I think I can remember some of the ladies on the blog saying that they didn’t think it was a big a deal if it was on a couple of years. I agree, if some one was a couple of years older (not too many years older though) I would then read their profile to see if they matched what I was looking for and then look at the photo and if I found the person was attractive to me, I would accept and allow they to email. However when I read profiles and see that I am just 1 year older than what they were looking for I would not initiate contact but this is a confidence thing.
dolphin46 at January 14, 2008 2:23 PM
I think you should just leave it as it is because what ever you put we all get responses from those we want response from and those we do not, I don’t think it would change anything. Sticking to what you want makes more sense.
dolphin46 at January 14, 2008 2:23 PM
Yes my profile includes older and younger males to myself. Simple because after a certain age I don’t think it really matters as long as it is not way out. Just as there are no two women the same at any particular age I think it also goes for men.
Posted by: timewarp1 at January 14, 2008 4:45 PM
“2) I have a slight personal preference for 'divorced' over 'widow'.”
Now that’s an interesting topic!
We may have all wondered about this one. If a person is divorced you think why? because they may have qualities that I would dislike as much as their expartner. would we have just as many problems? Of course they could be the right one for you but we all ask even if we are also divorced, why did their marriage fail?
Then the widow we may think on one hand they did not get a divorce so they may have been a stable person in a stable loving relationship, isn’t that nice, nothing to worry about here. However what if they are looking for a replacement and we will never live up to their dearly departed. We also want to be loved by them more than they ever loved anyone else (ego). No one wants to be second on anyones list.
Divorced or widowed we all bring with us past experinces, we just have to believe that obsticles can be cast aside and true love can prevail.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 5:01 PM
I listed the 60’s but I also listed Black Eyed Pea’s and other mod’s. I like anything but heavy metal. The era does not matter as much as the music and the words that, if they speak to me, that is all that matters. I am sure I am not the only woman post 40 that likes modern music as much as classical say.
junebaby57 at January 14, 2008 6:13 PM
Exactamundo: Spot on!
Size 14 is the average size for the Australian woman, but it may be on the increase but 14 is it at present. However you may look at two women and think one is slender the other over wieght.
Muscle, bone structure and everything else that goes into making the female body differes from one female to the next. I have a girl friend she is a size 14 but she is slim.
I on the other am a size 14 but I am fat so it may please some that I have put in my profile that I am over wieght. So any one has a problem with me being fat, I have a siple solution for you! DON’T CONTACT ME. Simple isn’t it really. Oh and if that is not enough for you and you want to come across as being childish and picky just post your disgusts about fat people on the blog.
woodnwine at January 14, 2008 6:24 PM
Naughty, naughty, have you now! J
sue4you at January 14, 2008 6:33 PM
I am glad the blog cheered you up after work. Hopefully work isn’t to bad where you are.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 6:49 PM
It does get frustrating especially when shopping for children but sizes do not seem to be as regulated as they should be. I have found this especially with childrens clothes that come from overseas. A child of age 6 from a country where the people are of a relatively smaller bone structure and hieght would be a different build to the average 6 year old here. Look at bikes for toddlers some I think would be too small for my Chihuahua.
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 14, 2008 6:49 PM
I agree some but not all. Some are rude but others are just being helpful and if the person that they talk to don’t mind or want help then that is okay.
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 14, 2008 6:55 PM
Chortle J
tabletalk at January 14, 2008 6:58 PM
“That is that men are attracted to women for sex , simple plain and honest”.
I wish someone had told that to my ex, lol.
Posted by: mstingle at January 14, 2008 11:24 PM
TWO real ones Today122 (insert winking face here)! I was cut by your 'don't wish to correspond any further' reply. Story of my life, it seems (tongue in cheek, now)!
Posted by: ninaschen at January 14, 2008 11:20 PM
and thank you ninaschen.
Posted by: today122 at January 14, 2008 11:14 PM
one real one just now, oh dear.
I don't know if I really like this after all.
Posted by: today122 at January 14, 2008 11:12 PM
istj54 - I thought you were being presumptuous about men not wanting to be friends if nothing else was on the cards. Concerning children, my stepdaughter used to tell me to turn JJJ off but now that she is 18, it's pretty much all she listens to.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 11:06 PM
Today122, none that wouldn't get you into trouble or sued :)
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 14, 2008 11:03 PM
yes - you did.
but we have jenjen to thank for that.
now - photo? any suggestions?
Posted by: today122 at January 14, 2008 11:00 PM
Braindancer, too funny. Wonder what sort of response that will have! Way to go Today122 (I'm assuming I got that right).
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 14, 2008 10:55 PM
Sorry, Stratus. I randomly leave the 'r' out of your name. Here are the missing ones: r r r, use them wisely.
Actually, I quite like the name 'Status' too! That could reel in the shallow!
Posted by: ninaschen at January 14, 2008 10:49 PM
thinking of an appearace..........
silly me, I'd forgotten the visual predilections here
Posted by: today122 at January 14, 2008 10:49 PM
Damn, I once contacted someone because their spelling was so atrocious I thought they must have been joking. The only reason I didn't go out with him was because I went out with someone else instead, so I never got to see what he was really like.
Posted by: sue4you at January 14, 2008 10:48 PM
sorry ninaschen, I was just looking for a "I scared the dog again'
Posted by: stratus65 at January 14, 2008 10:47 PM
VERY funny Stratus! Loved the kiss reply!
I'm not a fan of in-jokes so I will explain. I sent Status a (friendship) kiss saying I liked his sense of humour. He replied with the 'left wondering if you have read my profile' response. I snorted vodka out of my nose, receiving that!
Posted by: ninaschen at January 14, 2008 10:45 PM
Today that's a 50% response rate, that has to be a winner already!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 14, 2008 10:42 PM
today122
Definitely, as you may well know, guys are predominantly visual, so then you can truly send out the kiss reply as to whether they have actually read your profile.
Apology emails, I thought of that during the day, but still that didn't stop me.
Posted by: stratus65 at January 14, 2008 10:41 PM
stratus - apology emails - I hadn't thought of that!!!???
Posted by: today122 at January 14, 2008 10:35 PM
Posted by: stratus65 at January 14, 2008 9:02 PM
daily reports, with an end of the week summary, and I think that we should expect the same from you perhaps??
stratus - two kisses out, but only one reply. no newies yet. maybe a photo would assist?
Posted by: today122 at January 14, 2008 10:33 PM
ninaschen
I do not believe that I will be initiating contact, and rather sit and wait to see what happens. I do think that I do receive a reasonable response from my (last) profile, however I have nothing to gauge this by, as to whether it is above or below average. Maybe the only winner here will be RSVP with the amount of stamps that I need to get to send out all the apologies.
Sue4You
I know of a couple of people who cannot spell or write correctly to save their lives, together with the fact that no person can even read back what they have written.
Posted by: stratus65 at January 14, 2008 10:28 PM
Sue4You - Oh yes, indeedy, they can! Some profiles are appalling - almost as bad as our friend's.
I don't agree with Stratus that it will make little difference to his level of contact, I think women will be more discerning. By the way Stratus, how much contact do you usually get? And will you be contacting people randomly or sitting back waiting for them to contact you? Let the games begin!
Posted by: ninaschen at January 14, 2008 10:15 PM
Very clever, ISTJ! And yeah, we all have to eat - perhaps no need to mention it at all!
Posted by: ninaschen at January 14, 2008 10:08 PM
Stratus65, I think you'll get more hits. Women are going to read your profile and say, what a great sense of humour this guy has. No one spells that badly, do they??
Posted by: sue4you at January 14, 2008 10:07 PM
femalepersuasion
Thank you for your comments, as to your question, well in a sense, it still reflects me, however in a totally different light. Many comments have been made on what to include, change, or exclude from a persons profile. I have studied human behaviour, and I do not believe that there will be that great a change in how responsive my profile is, as I believe it is based on a general look and feel, rather than on how it is constructed. And perhaps it may dissuade the pretentious.
Posted by: stratus65 at January 14, 2008 9:56 PM
Ninaschen, dinning out is when you get a take-away and listen to "bad" eighties music!
On the other hand, dining out suggests white table cloths and faint musak in the background.
Maybe we could just write that we like to eat in our profiles.
Posted by: istj54 at January 14, 2008 9:45 PM
Stratus...your profile is a hoot - I wonder what the outcome will be - so keep us posted.
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 14, 2008 9:39 PM
Stratus65: I really enjoyed reading your previous profile and you are very handsome..so why have you changed your profile ?? I don't understand, can you enlighten me at all ??
Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 14, 2008 9:35 PM
Woodnwine l quite like Linkin Park and just heard Shadow of the day on the radio................K
Posted by: auntykaz at January 14, 2008 9:33 PM
junebaby57
Yes, a complete blonde moment!! It all started out with jenjen57 posting a few selected lines poorly written from profiles and I suggested that I redo my profile, and see if there is really a difference in the response, and if anybody really takes that much notice in how poorly a profile is written. Perhaps it may just be the overall look and feel of a profile whether it is successful or not, we shall see.
ninaschen - yes I will have an explanation once I reconstruct myself. Yes 'dinning out' I will include that one.
Posted by: stratus65 at January 14, 2008 9:31 PM
Woodnwine...again...sorry to keep talking to you tonight....If you have a son who is 23, you can't help but have listened to "all" the new stuff. I love most of it and enjoy hip-hop, rap etc as well as everything in the nineties too.
Must admit that I yell to turn it down at times!
Posted by: istj54 at January 14, 2008 9:25 PM
Very brave Stratus! But you forgot that you love 'dinning' out. A lot of people enjoy 'dinning' out, apparently. I do hope when you post your real profile back up you will put a little explanation in there for all those prospectives who may be very confused about your sudden metamorphosis.
Posted by: ninaschen at January 14, 2008 9:25 PM
jewels - just a little social experiment with regard to profile content being undertaken by the brave and curious :)
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 14, 2008 9:24 PM
wnw.........FM radio can be soooo repetitive, JJJ excepted more than the others, and the DJs are just so inane most of the time. The endless advertising on B105, Nova, MMM and 97.3 is also tedious and boring.
Honestly some of the drivel that those DJs come out with sent me back to (predominantly) AM a long time ago.
And for me personally, I confess to being a talkback radio tragic :(
(Listener, not participant).
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 14, 2008 9:21 PM
jen, today and stratus, what is the bet again, cause , stratus your profile looks like you had a huge blonde moment!!! Or have I?? jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at January 14, 2008 9:19 PM
Suzie...I think you are right and he should come out and clarify that for us....if he is just looking for sex then that is extremely tacky. I was giving him the benefit of the doubt there. Perhaps he is undeserving of that and is doing himself a diservice re women and missing out on their high intelligence, conversation, capabilities, wit, humour etc...etc...that Woodnwine sees in women:)
What I am trying to say is that it is a major ingredient in what "most" of us are looking for here and that if it is not there the relationship is not going to get off the ground, except as friends. I may have worded my post badly.
Woodnwine, which assumptions were incorrect, so that I can clarify my point of view?
Posted by: istj54 at January 14, 2008 9:17 PM
Ladies ..... I ask again, what is it with music. Tonight I've looked at some more profiles and am wondering if anyone over 40 listens to FM radio let alone JJJ. They didn't stop releasing music in 1989.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 9:13 PM
jenjen57
I am thinking that I would have to give it at least a full week, perhaps two, depending on the response rate, and also I might add the quality of response.
Posted by: stratus65 at January 14, 2008 9:06 PM
today122
daily reports, with an end of the week summary, and I think that we should expect the same from you perhaps??
Posted by: stratus65 at January 14, 2008 9:02 PM
istj54 - you make many assumptions, not all of which are correct.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 9:01 PM
stratus65.........hmmmmmmm.......this is definitely going to be interesting......I must admit I am genuinely interested in evaluating what if any difference the profile truly makes to our success rate around here.........how long are you giving it ??
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 14, 2008 9:01 PM
Thanks shadow....there is only ONE type I think.....and of course only ONE team :) Jenjen supports the same ones too!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 14, 2008 9:00 PM
and the results of this experiment will be published?
Posted by: today122 at January 14, 2008 8:59 PM
hmm lstj... i think maybe you were a tad harsh.. If i read tabletop's post correctly he said that ALL men were after was sex... which as you yourself have just said is not the truth.. that they want 'all' that involves.. So I think WnW was justified in what he has said... Perhaps if tabletop has said that men did not just want sex he wouldn't have had a need to say anything???
Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 14, 2008 8:58 PM
hi all
is no-one playing here tonight?
Brisbane bloggers meet - If anyone is interested and is wanting details, please contact either jenjen57, timewarp1 or me. My profile is up but totally bare bones - long story.
Posted by: today122 at January 14, 2008 8:56 PM
jenjen
It is complete, the social experiment starts today.
Posted by: stratus65 at January 14, 2008 8:48 PM
tablemanners - as a man who likes women for a lot more than sex, I found your last post extremely offensive not only to women but to men as well. I suggest you seriously consider getting a life.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 8:02 PM
......suggesting that you do like women for sex....a wee bit hypocritical, WnW, I think...Are we not "mostly" here looking for a lover?
....Or is it a pen-pal site?
Let's face it both sexes size each other up immediately and place the other into a certain category. Of course we all have friends of both sexes and will all continue to do so, but to deny that those first meetings do not have sexual overtones/undertones is ridiculous....Both sexes are judging if the other could become a lover.
We women call it chemistry....if it's not there you go straight away into the "friend" bin....and how many men reply afterwards when you write that you would just like to be friends....not many....in fact none!
So all quit kidding yourselves about what you are here for....you are looking for a partner and "all" that involves....are you not?
Posted by: istj54 at January 14, 2008 8:46 PM
Wish- your on!
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 14, 2008 8:06 PM
tablemanners - as a man who likes women for a lot more than sex, I found your last post extremely offensive not only to women but to men as well. I suggest you seriously consider getting a life.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 8:02 PM
Well alrighty then as long as it wasn't too soft or soppy or open or anything I figure it's me, it's honest, and hopefully "Ms I can put up with your bad habits" will decide to materialise shortly from it. If not well you can't rush these big jobs can you?
Ps: Wishful- at least you support the right style of Rugby :)
Posted by: shadowzone at January 14, 2008 7:41 PM
Glad to see you are up and running now Shadowzone....nicely done too I might add
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 14, 2008 7:31 PM
Looking good shadowzone :)
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 14, 2008 7:29 PM
I find women with pronounced dracula teeth (or off at a slight angle even) attractive. I have no idea why. I also like women from Ireland with read hair and green eyes and I like women. Women are wonderful mystical creatures, I will never understand them and I think this is half the attraction factor for me. Nah who could not want to be attracted to them?
Damn all women are gorgeous as for the really skinny ones? They bruise you. It isnt a good thing at all...
Posted by: shadowzone at January 14, 2008 7:24 PM
NFish @ 6.49pm:
You are right right right, sir!
I neverdunnit, no I didn't. It weren't me, sir!
And I really admire the heavy gravitas of your resounding pontificating pronouncement about their inexcusable arrogant impertinance.
Should have been delivered from the very top of Mt Gravatt (with the odd lightning bolt to make it truly audio-visual), not just from home at Mansfield. Howdy neighbour!
Must stop this nonsense and head off to the Brekky Creek pub for tonight's RSVP first date. I think I'm looking forward to it!
Posted by: timewarp1 at January 14, 2008 7:22 PM
Auntykaz great answer!!!!!! There you go wnw.
Posted by: dolphin46 at January 14, 2008 7:17 PM
Nf - lighten up, just having a bit of fun with the topic.
And at the end of the day it doesnt actually seem to matter too much whether our profiles have perfect spelling/grammar or not with regard to our success in finding our special someone.
tabletalk - not giving you a spray at all.
When you say that men are attracted to women for sex, I refuse to believe that is all that they are attracted to.
Of course sexual attraction is very important to both men AND women, but attraction is often something not easily defined.........a smile, eyes, walk,voice or something you just cant put your finger on..........
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 14, 2008 7:17 PM
O.K. Folks my profile is now available for your viewing and grading pleasure
Thanks,
S.
Ps: not all of us want women for sex I actually enjoy their company and insight into stuff on occasion. Especially when they are able to inform me of simple little basic things I have overlooked in dealing with my business partners and other work related colleagues it makes my life so much better. Oh that and just sitting round talking with them by the beach is an awesome way to de stress it just isn't the same with the guys...
Posted by: shadowzone at January 14, 2008 7:16 PM
Sue4you, i posted a while ago (ie 4pm Today) about photos but now its gone. I agree that you can't judge everyone by a photo,the people i have met from rsvp have all looked better than their photos. I think if your not a supermodel with airbrushing and the works a photo doesn't do any one any justice.
Tabletalk you need to meet some "real" men.
WnW you rat..... don't think you will get away with that!!!
Jenjen, loved the 29 lines. Humor wins me every time
Posted by: dolphin46 at January 14, 2008 7:15 PM
No, Suzie...not just that...they need someone to find the remote control when it has been misplaced and of course to serve the cold beer (sorry guys, I don't really mean it...)
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 14, 2008 7:12 PM
Woodnwine, you have to kiss a lot of Princesses to find your Queen, you know that.....................K
Posted by: auntykaz at January 14, 2008 7:11 PM
oh don't tell me tabletalk is the thing with lots of names that hates everyone? damn i just wasted my words and typing on him? crap!
Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 14, 2008 7:11 PM
Tabletalk.. where did you leave your club? In the cave? cause gee you sound so much like a neanderthal...
So by your reckoning.. ALL the men in the world only want women for sex.. pure and simple.. nothing else just sex...
You are hilarious.. not only do you insult women.. but your insulting your fellow man but placing them all in the same bed as you... a man who it would seem has NO idea about women, relationships or his own sex...
Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 14, 2008 7:07 PM
TableTalk - You really seem obssessed with the whole (female) weight issue. Were you traumatised by a fat woman sitting on you when you were little? You have pushed the same barrow in just about every name you have blogged under. Give it a rest.
Posted by: ninaschen at January 14, 2008 7:06 PM
Just to change the subject. Photos. Just recently I met two men socially at a function with another RSVPer. In the car, I said, wow Bill and Fred (names changed to protect the innocent) look really familiar,I think Ive met them somewhere, whereby I was then informed that they were on RSVP also. We rushed backed home, jumped on RSVP and sure enough both of them had sent me kisses and I'd said no mainly because their photos looked like they were axe murderers. They didn't look anything like their photos except for a vague similarity and were much nicer than their photos. They however recognised me but didn't say a word.
When I met them again (all three of them were good friends but didn't know that they had all kissed me) the other two asked me why I'd picked the one I did. So I told them it was purely and simply because of the photo. I have to wonder about guys who have to take their own photo, makes me think they are a Nigel no friends.
So to all the men, get someone else to take a decent photo of you.
Posted by: sue4you at January 14, 2008 7:01 PM
NF - you appear to have your grumpy scales on again. Colour me stupid, isn't the whole topic about writing better profiles?
In highlighting things that turn us away (ie. the faults, bad wording or whatever), we are, in a small way, giving others ideas of what does detract from a profile, and thus by avoiding such, may enhance their success.
Arrogant, I don't think so; self-obsessed, hardly; self righteous, not in this life time; self opinionated, okay you've got me there; self-centred, can't say that I am, and an egocentric boor, hmm...not for me to judge, however, you've seen to be judge and jury on all accounts.
If that is how we come across to everyone, then I guess since "everyone" has participated, then we are in great company....but then again, everyone is entitled to their opinion...
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 14, 2008 7:00 PM
Hello Box Brownie! I thought you'd never be back. (Actually, I had been hoping to get minnieme into my overnight bag for my trip from the previous blog straight to the Maldives, and then forget to unzip you out ... )
But you gave yourself away again, as usual. Your sentiments are unmistakenly male - someone who was called Samantha and who was bright would sail speedily through the longest post - even yours last year when you were still in the positive phase of attention-seeking.
What mischief have you in mind for this aging blog? Who will you attack next? Let's all guess ...
Pick me! No, pick me!
Posted by: timewarp1 at January 14, 2008 6:57 PM
Twenty Nine Lines To Make You Smile
Have seen some of these used as profile headlines.................
1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me 7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18 . Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22..Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26..Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 14, 2008 6:55 PM
People who go through other people’s profiles to find faults, quirks, errors and omissions and people who purport to dictate what other people should have in their profile and their choice of wording, would have to be some of the most arrogant, self obsessed, self righteous, self opinionated, self centred egocentric boors of all time. And that is exactly how you come across to every one that reads your nonsense.
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 14, 2008 6:49 PM
I did say from a dumb males POV ........ but I do understand that sizes do differ slightly according to brand. Surely there should be regulations covering this, must make shopping frustrating.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 6:49 PM
WnW, different sizes for different labels I think Junebaby was getting at. I can go purchase something from one store and get a 12 (and go home smiling) or find something at another store very similiar and it be a 14.
Male sizes are harder to picture I guess, a 36" waist means nothing to me - it'd be a lot easier if you guys had simple sizes like we do :)
I don't think height is directly related to dress size....but I could be wrong, I just know for me if I find something with a tag smaller than I'd usually buy- I want to leave it hanging out the back!!!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 14, 2008 6:45 PM
you are right WnW, weight is related to height, I forgot that bit....jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at January 14, 2008 6:43 PM
dolphin46 - I was think of ass but am not saying this in a nasty way, just laughing out loud.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 6:42 PM
WnW, dress size is related to the label...as sue4you said. Weight also is not an indicator.. I am an 8-10 but if i was to tell my weight it would not correspond to those sizes. And nooooooooo way am i telling. And anyway what's average??? We all have our own ideas re that.
Posted by: dolphin46 at January 14, 2008 6:39 PM
junebaby - I think dress size would have to be related to height wouldn't it .... as would a man's waist measurement?
From a dumb male's POV, a 4' 10" woman size 12 may be slightly overweight whereas a 5' 10" woman size 14 would be average. From what I have read (not here) the size of the average women is between 12 & 14, depending on height.
Similarly a 5' man with a waist measurement of 34" may be slightly overweight whereas a 6' man with a waist measurement of 36" may be average. I would think the average man would be 34-38" depending on height.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 6:35 PM
Wnw... what is the answer??? I am having a senior moment and can't think..........
Posted by: dolphin46 at January 14, 2008 6:35 PM
Just started back at work today after 4 weeks holiday and wanted to say reading these blogs after that first day at work has cheered me up. Where to get time to write so much?
I have to agree that the age thing is somewhat subjective, when you start talking to someone in a social situation you have no idea how old they are. Why is everyone so hung up on the age thing on RSVP?
Same with size. You can be size 8 in one label and size 12 in another.
Posted by: sue4you at January 14, 2008 6:33 PM
tabletalk you lost me re who is younger than the 44 year old who looks prettier than the younger one who is older than the good looking one etc
Good luck in your search for ??? younger, prettier one , not sure where that will lead you .
Twoeyes, you are the exception to the rule with your broad age range...... re the distance thing, if you like the look of some one go for it. The old saying nothing ventured.... nothing gained.
Posted by: dolphin46 at January 14, 2008 6:32 PM
there are some men in life you just wanna slap... the ones that think they were put here for women to serve them.. who think with their ego's and expect women to be perfect little barbie dolls.. from the day they are born to the day they die while they shrivel up, get beer guts, lose their hair and end up with no teeth.. Tabletalk.. I reckon you fit the bill :-)
Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 14, 2008 6:32 PM
TABLETALK Jan 14, 2.05pm
"i use a name to post and a name for my profile, it is a good idea to do this and I would suggest others do the same to avoid abusive attacks or unwanted contacts."
Mate, I'm having trouble getting my head around this idea, and all of your last couple of posts.
1) You say your real (other) profile is dead accurate. But you say
"I really don't care how many send me kisses or don't. I would rather not attract anyone than to attract someone and have it fail anyway."
So why do you have that other profile up anyway? What's your reason?
You sound very negative - like a big dose of the MAF that I was talking about in my post at 2.24pm today.
2) And I wonder why you have this second hidden profile too, just for blogging? Why do you want to join in here anyway?
I'm confused because the things you're saying here are not likely to make you any friends among the bloggers, OR among the large non-contributing readership.
Yes mate - you are dead right about some women being young for their age, and some younger ones already prematurely aged.
But what woman wants someone who even admits that he is just looking for the youngest and prettiest? That's serial trade-in territory!
* And why is that what you want, anyway? Is it to get even with your Ex?
* Or is it just for you, so that you have a beautiful trophy - someone younger and prettier than you are (and maybe younger and prettier than you deserve - can't see your "very accurate" real profile, to know whether you're God's gift to all women yourself, or not quite.)
Be a man and tell us your real name, as someone did today below, or admit that you are something else.
* Or do you want the trophy just to make other men jealous? That's the biggest reason for a lot of men.
"I don't look like much, but look at the missus! I must be OK to keep her happy, eh?"
3) I was very disappointed by the open aggression in the beginning of your post at 4.46pm.
If you are angry, go run 2 or 3 miles till you simmer down, as I often did in my thirties. Does you good.
But please don't spoil our civilised cheerful discussions with your negativity and mis-placed anger. Do yourself and us a favour and join an anger-management group instead.
PS to RSVP: Peer-driven self-regulation at work.
Posted by: timewarp1 at January 14, 2008 6:26 PM
If women have to kiss a lot of frogs, what do men have to kiss a lot of? No rude answers please because I already thought of that answer ..... unless that is the real answer?
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 6:24 PM
tabletalk, whose version of average. Some guys think size 10 is average, some official stats say size 14 is average. Do you use american or australian sizes!!! As they greatly vary.
I would not participate in anything that asked actual weight, it is no ones business but my doctor's. Next you will be asking cup size on profiles!!!!
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it truly is.
If you have met people that lie, don't look like thier photo's etc, tell them straight and move on.
I have met men who say they are brown haired or blonde, when they are either bald or gray, I have also met men that have lied about their age and weight, but I didn't see them again as I do not like liars.
It is a case of kissing lots of frogs, in some cases toads before you find the right one...have a lovely evening...jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at January 14, 2008 6:13 PM
I believe that W.I.N.E is good for that particular type of bug.......taking some for medicanol purposes now...lol...jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at January 14, 2008 6:02 PM
WINE IT IS THEN...............
Posted by: twoeyes at January 14, 2008 6:11 PM
shame I didn't know about that W.O.R K virus before I went to work this morning!!!! Home now but I believe that W.I.N.E is good for that particular type of bug.......taking some for medicanol purposes now...lol...jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at January 14, 2008 6:02 PM
Samanthabrit....the system tends to slow down regardless of what is posted and/or how long they are. The majority of the blogs are related to the topic (okay, some you might need to stretch your imagination just a touch), but the length of them is often necessary - no point in half a posting, unless you are ODE and his often come in two parts!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 14, 2008 6:00 PM
Just as dishonest to say you are average when you are fat.
Would save a lot of pain if people put down their weight and then maybe how much overweight they thought they were and if they were attemting to do something about it.
Posted by: tabletalk at January 14, 2008 1:44 PM
I will prefer to see her if she is prettier and younger looking than the 44 year old,simply because,regardless of age ,if you haven't got beauty from the start,you ain't gonna get it when you age .
Posted by: tabletalk at January 14, 2008 4:46 PM
That is a tad shallow tabletalk. None of us are perfect and I would rather have a partner whose BMI was 25/30 witha few wrinkles that I could really communicate with than some airhead who looked fabulous.
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 14, 2008 5:45 PM
In that case Rider...you owe me a drink :)
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 14, 2008 5:21 PM
tabletalk: I don't have a problem with 'that', although not sure what you mean exactly, considering I was supporting your post.
Could you please elaborate on what you perceive as being the problem, and I will respond appropriately.
Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 14, 2008 5:21 PM
I spent most of my lunch hour today reading profiles and I have to say ... don't women in their 40s listen to modern music? I agree there were good songs in the 60s, 70s & 80s but what about the 90s & 00s? Doesn't anyone else listen to JJJ radio?
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 5:01 PM
PS. And bang on topic:
1) If you're divorced, I don't want to see "single". Especially if you claim a few kids further down the page.
I wish RSVP would replace 'single' with "maritally inexperienced" (how's that for PC?), just to bring some potential accuracy into the most important item in everyone's profiles - their relative eligibility.
Personally, I don't want 'single' thank you, and I don't want 'never kids'.
I'm looking for my match, and my match has already had the emotional growth of learning how to cooperate/compromise with at least one husband/de facto for the long haul, and the self-discipline of having to become ten times more unselfish, to do the right thing by her children.
I've done my horse-breaking (non-sex-specific version of flighty-filly-breaking) last time around (as she did to me) and now I want someone who is used to twin-harness, and PREFERS it to standing in the paddock, wistfully watching the other horses who are already back on the road.
2) I have a slight personal preference for 'divorced' over 'widow'. As a divorcee myself, and on the dumpee side of the split, I empathise best with women who have also been left behind.
A chance to dust one another down, and know we are coming from the same place, or at least similar - I was never beaten up - only carefully ignored and then left behind.
On the other hand, widows' sainted snatched-from-them husbands can be a hard act to follow.
3) Age differences are in the news again. In other blogs I've made my own case for idealling someone who's calendar younger:
Same reason as why I chose my RSVP codename - the last time I was challenged for under-age drinking, I was 28, and I've never caught up.
People I meet guess early to mid 60s, and when I meet women, it's the ones who are that actual age who seem to match my own timewarped STAGE.
For health reasons, I'm looking for someone who'll challenge me to beat her home at the end of a long walk - in 10 years' time.
Amongst the 90-odd RSVP women I've met in the last 2 years were maybe a dozen about my own calendar age (now just 72) Usually from their kisses, and who'd be unchivalrous enough to deny any pro-active old girl at least one date?
They were all much further along the road down to mental and physical rigidity than I am, except for 2 who were 2 and 4 calendar years older than me, but far more timewarped - far too youthful and lively for me ever to keep up with.
Both later reported they'd found their matches in blokes in their 50s. Good on them, and good on me, when I find Ms Right-enuff who thinks I'm Mr Right-enuff.
4) Photos: FEMALEPERS (1.45pm today) has got it right again.
* If you're married, say so and put your photo up. Show it to your partner first (may motivate them to give you more of what you feel you're missing out on. Or a smack across the kisser ...) Or get off this site, you sleezebag. (Have knocked back several local sleezettes since Xmas.)
* If it's a small town or you're the school principal, try a backlit full length photo, with the late-arvo sun hidden behind your rump. Get the exposure right, to show your shape, not facial details. And name the larger district, not your actual town or suburb.
* Otherwise, show at least a couple of clear photos - one down to armpits to show face (no shades please, no matter how fashionable they are, and/or how hung-over you are), your neck diameter and your shoulders.
The other full-length, and close enough to take up the whole photo, to show how accurate your body-type classification was.
If you're fortunate enough to be noticeably top-heavy like one regular poster here (no names, no flurry of peeking) then you can choose whether to flaunt it (turn body 45 degrees for full-length shot) or minimise it (loose blouse not tucked in, and lean forward to reduce the jut-out below the collar.)
Willow is right - finding someone suitable is worth some input of time and energy, or you're not fair dinkum. And that includes getting photos somehow, and posting them somehow.
And everyone needs protecting from the people who aren't fair dinkum. Life is a bar brawl, and you need someone you can trust to cover your back - just as they need someone they can trust to cover theirs.
No photo means to me either your ex is looking for you with a broken bottle (so password it) or you're not motivated enough to take up fair-dinkum people's reading-time.
"But Bill, what if I'm unusually unpulchritudinous?"
You won't break the camera. Write a killer profile to attract the few men who're into INNER beauty - and also maybe drive a lighthouse or a white stick (they are 100% of your target market.)
Or get femalepers to write you one - I believe she freelances for money. Put up your photo (for you a professional portrait is not cheating too much) and password it.
What if you say that 'no picture' is to protect you from the illiterate, only-picture-it multiple-kissers who might find you un-ugly enough to add to their many targets, (she-might-bite-if- i'm-lucky) and thus clutter your Princess inmail with toad kisses?
I say just enjoy being in the top 100 as a result, and then prove you're actually a toad too, by not ever bothering to use the 3 mouse clicks to say "no thanks" to any of them.
Life is real. Money is hard to earn. Sorry if I've stood on any toes in this one, while practicing getting real again, and thus ready to get back to the workface.
PPS: We don't need many more for a full baker's dozen at the Brisblogmeet at 2pm on Sunday. Spend a stamp and ask me where.
Posted by: timewarp1 at January 14, 2008 4:45 PM
Thanks FP - I will look forward to receiving some ideas from a woman's point of view.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 4:22 PM
I will send a draft to the blogger that I know is in contact with you. Let me know via her how you go, and what you think of it. Give me a few days to nut it out.
Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 14, 2008 4:16 PM
I was just pointing out that most men prefer younger women in their 'ideals", more my gripe was about reading profiles.
One other thing .....i am not the norm for women my age, (in a lot of ways)that is why my ages include both younger and older men.Posted by: dolphin46 at January 14, 2008 3:44 PM
not me have a broad age range
some live too far away tho.........
Posted by: twoeyes at January 14, 2008 4:09 PM
Wnw yes indeed i was joking.. I am realistic enough to know that i would not be comfortable with a "toy Boy".
Hi other blogger, yes you were one of the profiles but certainly not the only one that I used for research purposes. I was just pointing out that most men prefer younger women in their 'ideals", more my gripe was about reading profiles.
One other thing .....i am not the norm for women my age, (in a lot of ways)that is why my ages include both younger and older men.
Ps. Was not having a "go" at anyone here.
Posted by: dolphin46 at January 14, 2008 3:44 PM
dolphin46 - that might be a bit extreme, don't you think? I therefore presume you are joking ... good luck.
FP - you would always be welcome to give me suggestions for my profile because I am having very little luck at the moment. One of the Melb bloggers might kindly pass it on and I would be happy to give you feedback on what I thought. I presume you think mine is a bit too long and tells too much.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 3:33 PM
tabletalk:that is an excellent idea. How long did it take for you to get real time blog posting with the non active profile.
Woodnwine: despite having not met you, If I wrote you a profile it would incorporate your essence from the profile you have posted at the moment, but just worded in a different way. Don't forget that you ARE you, but you want women who read your profile to be curious about meeting you. In some ways it is an enticer to intrigue a woman to want to meet you. I wouldnt be writing untruths, just increasing your chances of talking on the phone and getting to the first date. On the first face to face it is up to you to shine and impress in person..that is the whole point in having the profile to start with, and if you would like to be meeting more women, the place to look first and change is your profile.
Anyway, if it turned out that you did meet women that didn't think you were like your profile, it would still be a rewarding experience and the opportunity of a pleasant evening in female company. You could meet a woman now,anyway,that doesn't think you are like your current profile...so the only variable that changes is the number of dates you may get to go on.
You need to have the opportunity of getting to meet women in person and then letting your true self shine, rather than sitting on a profile that may not be working as far as the women on the site are concerned.
Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 14, 2008 3:08 PM
WnW might drop my age requirements to between 35 to 40..
WHY not dolphin? that seems to the the norm for women around your age .From the other blogger.
Posted by: abckenny at January 14, 2008 3:05 PM
WoodnW, liked your profile...pity you don't go for us more mature ladies.
Timewarp1, thanks for including me in the Brisbloggers meet..I would love to come along as it sounds like a hoot, even if I don't participate a lot here (the mod's seem to not want to print my blogs..sigh.) So, is there anyone coming from the north who could give me a lift from the Sunshine Coast?
Posted by: lamuse at January 14, 2008 2:56 PM
WnW might drop my age requirements to between 35 to 40..... :)
Posted by: dolphin46 at January 14, 2008 2:56 PM
dolphin46 - maybe you should. I have had my preferred age group set higher and found that women older would send kisses so I lowered it a bit and still receive kisses from women in their mid 50s, which is fine.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 2:36 PM
Hi all! This blog is so good! They're getting better and better, AND more fun - practice making us perfect? And/or RSVP finally letting us enjoy doing it?
I suspect that very little work's happening in the MALDIVES, but in Ausland, at least one person has to be on the job, so now that willow's clocked on back to reality, I've clocked off and come back to youall.
Been helping organise the
BRISBLOGGERSMEET
for Sunday arvo 20th. One RSVP stamp to Jen or me buys you in. (Or to 122, once her profile's up again.) So it's revenue-positive for RSVP too - classic win-win.
That works out at about 50 cents per wonderful bloggingperson that you'll meet (except for MSTING: Add 8 hours' petrol for her, coming down specially from the north, and busfares for Wraecca, coming all the way up from Bathurst.)
Been hoping to get a look at this blog for nearly a week, but chasing $$ for my rent intervened. Only just got to read it right through from the start. How much is a speed-reading course?
Too much excellence in this blog to comment on it all. Afew tallest mountains:
FEMALEPERS: (Yes, I peeped)
Insightful 13th, 9.50am was eclipsed by 14th, 9.23am's total hoot (you have got the genre off pat ...), which I thought you'd repeated on purpose, for the slow learners who would take it to heart, rather than for you to get the crosseyed prize for longest-post-ever.
WILLOW
Welcome to a wonderful empathic human who happens to be a man. Thank you for spending some of your hols with us and your many top posts, and greetings from one poet to another.
But most of all for Jan 12, 9.02pm. Got a lump-throat cheer from me, and is worthy to be the wallpaper on any single's monitor.
ODE
Always enjoy your theorising, and admire your long hours of devotion to scouring publand for gold among the gravel, and to watching/trying different methods of panning for it.
Think that I can answer your question on 13th, 8.32pm: why do girls go to pubs and clubs, and then knock back every approach from every bloke, no matter how gorgeous he is?
Some possibilities:
* They came with their girlfriends for a session of ODE: watching the action from the stands.
* They are shy, and just plucking up their courage to go there is all they can manage tonight.
* Still at 2-year-old stage: "Watch others play and learn the game - join in when older."
* They are game-players, and their game is 'Me Princess, you Toad'. They prop up their insecurity/Not-OK by putting themselves in a peck order where they are ahead of Mr Totally Desireable, only because they knocked him back.
So much easier to get a phony feeling of 'I'm OK' that way, than seeing if they could hold his attention if they did start chatting.
* MAF - motivation to avoid failure. A frequent reason for finding some way (Help help! any way) to avoid the chance that someone else can give your performance a valid mark, and/or life reward you fairly for your actual worth.
Causes kids to stay up all night 2 nights swotting before the exam - then they faint during, and have an excuse for their poor mark.
Includes self-sabotage of any kind, including knocking back Mr Threateningly-Gorgeous, just in case he mightn't then marry them and live happy ever after. Or whatever other delights they may have had in mind. "Play it safe - then no risk of egg on face."
LAMUSE
Come to our meeting on Sunday arvo, but don't look at me till I've lost the 20kg by late winter 2008.
JUNEBABY
13th, 9.13pm: We have a sementic problem here, to do with the word 'relationship'.
Very many older men define this term as a friendship /acquaintanceship that does includes sex, plus as little of the other stuff as they can get away with. Many younger men too, so I believe age is irrelevant.
It's all about what I call bandwidth - the range of activities and feelings that the 2 people want to share.
Nearly always far wider in the 'feeling/communicating/talking' frequencies for most women than for most men, except that most men appreciate and enjoy just being happily and silently together.
Quoting from a radio play for 2 rhyming voices in my first published book of verse:
"Why is she needing this fountain of sound?
Why does she think she's alone without speech?
Men get their comfort from loved ones around,
separately THINKING, with dear ones in reach."
ABCKENNY 14th, 1.17am:
Thank you for the best email circular joke I remember. It's about to get new wings.
JENJEN
You are indefatiguable - over 100 posts in this blog alone? And all worth a re-read. At least once. Can't wait to meet you on Sunday arvo, after I've taken mstin to lunch.
Back to earning my rent. Seeya.
Posted by: timewarp1 at January 14, 2008 2:24 PM
WnW its a little different, just peeked at your profile and another male bloggers, you both have preferred age as younger or no more than your age, so even slightly outside your ideal they are still younger than you. My upper limit is already 5 years older than me, if i extend it by another 2-3 years i am looking at someone 8 years + older than me. Should I change mine and make it lower to avoid it?
Posted by: dolphin46 at January 14, 2008 2:23 PM
dolphin46 - I should have qualified my statement a little. What I meant was, if I match most other requirements and have several things in common but am 2-3 years outside their IDEAL age range, then I would send a kiss. Then it is up to them to see if I look too old or if they would like to give it a go. Similarly, I always welcome kisses that are slightly outside my IDEAL requirements too.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 2:13 PM
FP - thanks for your kind offer but as you have never met me I can't see how you would be able to write a profile about me. I don't want to attract women and then have them find out I am different to what is in my profile.
OK, I just spent all lunch hour reading all the profiles that came up as matches but didn't have a photo. I was absolutely amazed how many had virtually no story or information .... so, combined with no photo, why would anyone contact them? Durrr! Maybe they just get the people who send kisses to everyone and work on the law of averages? Good luck to them.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 2:10 PM
dolphin46 - I generally look at the preferred age a person puts down as the IDEAL and will often send a kiss to a person if I am with 2-3 years of what they ask for. In general I take this approach with other things too as I don't think most people demand that people tick all the preferred boxes.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 2:02 PM
FP some interesting points made. Personally i have had 3 photos up at different times. The first one (now gone) was in early days of my RSVP experience. It was hidden as i come from a small town and privacy was a concern for me. When people were given password...no further action. I removed it and especially put 2 others up. One a little blurry, (poor quality camera) and the other full shot that was ok. A girlfriend was with me one day and saw my profile and burst out laughing at full shot saying it looked nothing like me.... not flattering she said, so removed that one too. Now only blurry one remains. I am not butt ugly but am no super model either, i just find it hard to photograph well. I am now of the opinion that i really don't care, if some one can't look past the photo thats ok and yes I know its a visual medium and as such i am limiting my chances.
My experience in meeting people from here has been that 99% of them look much better than their pics so thats how i am playing it from now. If their pics are ok but profile appeals I will respond. Seems to be working well so far. Have met some great people (mainly through the blogs). So there you have it another take on RSVP and profile photos. :)
Posted by: dolphin46 at January 14, 2008 1:55 PM
POSTSCRIPT
Forgot to add that not having a photo can be as bad as having TOO many photos, as in those guys that have 5 or more photos:
* Him
*Him with his car
*Him, holding a fish
*Him with his dog
*Him, with a female arm draped over his shoulder
*Him holding a beer
Less is more.
****apologies if this is appears biased, but as a female my anectodal experience has been through reading of the 'male' profile.
Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 14, 2008 1:48 PM
PROFILE PHOTOS(OR THE LACK OF THEM) IN ONLINE DATING
(hope this answers your Q, Woodnwine)
With online dating, you should maximize your profile utilization to get optimal results. One way to do that is to make sure to post a photo on your online dating profile.
There are many advantages with putting a photo along with your dating information. One is that you’ll get more replies to the messages you send. Because online dating sites make communication between people who don’t know each other or at least don’t know how each other looks like, there’s always apprehension with subscribers.
If they receive a message from a user with no photo, they’ll feel more uneasy than if the message came from someone who has a photo. Though not 100% certain, at least online daters have an idea on how their potential dates could look like.
You will also get a lot more responses to your ads. Most users only look at profiles with photos anyway. In fact, some online dating sites (RSVP Included) offer the option of searching only for profile with photos. Not having a photo makes it look like you don’t maintain your profile often (even if you actually do). If you check out other profile posting sites, profiles with no photos are usually those that haven’t been logged on in months or maybe even just logged on only once.
It also gives you credibility. If you don’t have one, online daters may think you’re not all that serious about dating online because you pay no attention to your profile. Having one on the other hand shows that you are enjoying the online dating experience and is really hoping to find someone. So it’s also important to regularly update your profiles to show significant activity.
Lastly, it can create an image for you. Most people make decisions based on visuals so make sure to take advantage of that. Women can already tell a lot only based on the photo that you post. If you look interesting in the photo, then she might find you interesting as well. If she looks at a blank space, then that’s also all the reaction you could expect. “A picture paints a thousand words” right?
So choose the right photos for your profiles so you could have an amazing online dating experience. What you can do is take many pictures of yourself then choose from them the photos that YOU think you look good in. You could also ask friends for their opinions or even some views from women about which photo is more attractive. Trust me; the right photo could make all the difference in the world when it comes to online dating.
Bearing this in mind, why would people post profiles without a photo ? ( keep in mind the following can also apply to those in CAMOUFLAGE in there images- Hats, sunglasses, shots taken from 5 metres away ( the long distance approach)……..
1. Married
2. Separated ( another way of saying still married)
3. Already in a relationship but looking for a little action on the side ( married &/or supposedly committed)
4. Embarrassed ( read low self esteem)
5. Doesn’t own a camera
6. Doesn’t have any friends who own a camera (read-doesn’t have friends)
7. Is not really serious about dating, but will dip the proverbial toe in the water for fun and will waste everyone’s time & energy
8. Is butt ugly and too scared to put up their photo
9. People that qualify for No. 8 will also try and sell you the line that it is “what is on the inside that really counts” (and we all know what crapola that is)
10. Steer clear of the “NO IMAGE” profiler
Hope this clarifies the reasons, Woodnwine. And while we are on profiles, you have mentioned yours a few times recently and asked for feedback. Id be happy to write one for you. Look at it as a social experiment, and see if your success rate soars.
Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 14, 2008 1:34 PM
Rider, good luck with it. Keep us posted with results, will be interesting to see if it helps. I can't help the guilt thing..... i am bit of a softie....:)
Posted by: dolphin46 at January 14, 2008 1:29 PM
jenjen & wishful - young, innocent, cerebral and kinky?
Posted by: today122 at January 14, 2008 1:28 PM
JenJen & Dolphin- change has been made
Dolphin- do not feel guilty for the "don't fit my criteria". Same thing I do when kissed by a smoker, they should read your profile.
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 14, 2008 1:19 PM
Warning to all of those not here contributing meaningfully to the blog........
There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand.
This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
You should forward this warning to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.
Hehehe............
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 14, 2008 1:16 PM
PS, does anyone have an expected date for completion of Maldives resort.... disillusionment on rapid rise, need to book in ASAP.................
Posted by: dolphin46 at January 14, 2008 1:15 PM
JenJen- thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it very much and thanks for the compliment aswell.Not sure what the issue is with the Melbourne girls? maybe, scared of an honest guy who knows what he wants.Could be the reason why I have changed the" YOU SHOULD BE "location to AUSTRALIA.
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 14, 2008 1:12 PM
Hi all, rider.....that is a curly question and how frustrating when it happens. Maybe give it a go and see what happens.
Another frustrating question... how many people really read profiles. My preferred age is 43 to 52...reasonable i thought, so why do i get kissed by men 55 and over?? I feel bad using the, flattered thanks but no thanks as don't fit criteria reply. It would be so much easier if they read it before sending a kiss. I read profiles and with great trepidation have sent a few kisses but only if I feel I meet the parameters set out.
Jenjen, keep up the funny stuff, hope your immune system back in action soon.
Posted by: dolphin46 at January 14, 2008 1:07 PM
rider - I don't think that would be rude to add that to your profile.
It is ruder for someone not to respond to your "look forward to email"
I am beginning to think there are a lot of people on this site that don't have stamps so that is why you don't get the email.
But we are either serious about finding a special someone or we are are not. Part of that being serious has to be that we have stamps so that we can establish proper contact with someone.
PS - what are some of these 25 to 35 year old girls in Melbourne thinking not snapping you up :)
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 14, 2008 1:03 PM
I get kisses like all of you and when I respond with a ?I look forward to your email" never get the email... (Yes, this has been discussed before)
QUESTION: would it be rude for me to write in my profile if you send me a kiss and are seriously interested in contacting me and I reply with "I look forward to your email" please contact me. You made the first step and now you can take step two and I promise to buy the first drink :)
Thoughts please ?
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 14, 2008 12:46 PM
I've raised this before but since this blog is about profiles here goes again ..... except in extreme cases, why do people put up profiles without photos? Maybe my dream woman is right there but frankly, who has the time to read every profile (with no photo) then go through the process of asking to see their photo only to find out there is no attraction at all? Come on people ... show yourselves and be proud to be out there looking.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 12:32 PM
twoeyes
Working on it :)
Still off work so not giving the immune system too much of a flogging !
What is it with the SR movie that is on so many profiles ?? Just have to get it out and have a lookee !
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 14, 2008 11:42 AM
I agree jen jen i also have read many profiles and found so many with many similarities. I think thats what brought about the shawshank joke.
Morning to all, and have you had that drink yet JJ
????.
Posted by: twoeyes at January 14, 2008 11:32 AM
Woodnwine - looking through profiles yesterday looking for the amusing mistakes, I noticed exactly what you are saying - so many of them say much the same thing - perhaps because a lot of us do enjoy/are looking for similar things?
Keep looking, your quirky fun and interesting woman is out there !
And I do know, if only from reading all those profiles that most of the men over 40 that I looked at seemed to be all genuine and looking in a similar age group as them. Makes you wonder why it is all so hard to find someone.
All getting to picky?
Too many of us here so that it all becomes overwhelming ?
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 14, 2008 11:14 AM
WnW, many men have the same things in their profile too. I'm wondering if they don't first read a few then try writing from that, which leads to more of the same. I am starting to think all those "quirky, interesting women", are off hiding with the "quirky, interesting men"!
I've checked out a lot of men over 40's profiles (sigh), and many of them are not looking for women over 40 - but something much younger and in some cases, much, MUCH younger...it's a tough world out there, makes you think about giving up the search!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 14, 2008 11:10 AM
Woops, was that on the other blog?
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 11:01 AM
jenjen - very funny post about women over 40 but men do have some redeeming features too and most of us aren't chasing 22YO waitresses, we are trying hard to find someone of a similar age that has things in common with us so we can form a long-term relationship.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 11:00 AM
I read lots of profiles and most of them are much the same, same interests, same desires, same likes & dislikes. It makes me think ... where are all the fun, quirky, interesting women? So I think people should try to write interesting profiles showing they are unique or at least a bit different to most. Try to think of things that might make you different and would appeal to someone that you could get on well with. If you don't point these things out in your profile, you might end up bored with the kind of people you attract.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 14, 2008 10:56 AM
Doesnt ODE need young innocent and cerebral ?
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 14, 2008 10:32 AM
Today122, would the young and innocent even worry about favourite authors?
FP, bus-stop pick up was a good one too, seems everyone is up early this morning!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 14, 2008 10:25 AM
ODE - just a thought. Maybe quoting de Sade as a favourite author could be just a touch offputting to the young innocent type you're hoping to attract?
Posted by: today122 at January 14, 2008 10:03 AM
Good morning Ode, yes we all know the early bird catches the worm...well, thats the theory anyway.
Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 14, 2008 9:59 AM
FP, you're on rather early. I think we early birds are showing that we take our love lives seriously.
I must confess I am disheartened that the bus-stop idea didn't occur to me. I've been considering a pretend-you're-blind-with-a-walking-stick idea -- may take that one up after I get the part 2 of the last one off the back burner.
Been getting lousy weather around here lately, so your post may come in handy.
Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at January 14, 2008 9:43 AM
HOW TO PICK UP CHICKS AT BUS STOPS
(OR TRAM STOPS IN THE SOUTHERN STATES)
Tired of never meeting women? Tired of going to bars and clubs but struggling to catch the attention of that young girl in the middle of a giant bloke fest? Tired of never getting laid?
If you answered no to all of those questions, then go straight to *Accounts* and delete RSVP membership (don’t be greedy). But, if you answered yes to even one of them, take my hand and come with me on this journey.
The key to picking up chicks is to understand that chicks are everywhere. Where their is civilization, their is chicks. They are not just in clubs or bars, or supermarkets. They are in your everyday places, and whilst this advice is geared for the man with wheels, with slight modification it can be reused for various other potentially socially awkward situations that cannot be covered in todays topic, but keep in mind when wanting to pick up chicks in an elevator ( captured audience) or at the docto’rs office ( captured & most likely sick so defenses will be at an alltime low)
After you have read and re read my advice, you will be able to walk up to a women in any of these situations, get her number, get a date, and get laid, eventually leading to a healthy long-term relationship. Or, conversely, a lot of casual monkey sex with you eventually dumping her because she wants commitment. Either way, if you manage to get at least a date, I know I have done my job and that gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside that reminds me why I got into the business in the first place.
Now, in this scenario, you will learn how to pick up chicks at a bus stop. The beauty of picking up chicks at bus stops is that you literally and figuratively pick them up, and for that you will need a car.
Step 1: Fix your car
A lot of chicks don't mind taking the bus. But a lot of chicks DO mind being wheeled around in a bomb. If your little mobile goes 0 to 60 in four hours, then you gotta problem. Can you car compare to a bus? A bus is like a massive, pimping SUV with 4000 horse power and lots of 45 inch wheels. Can your ride compete with that? I didn't think so.
If you stroll beside a bus stop in your sputtering car, that chicks not going to want a ride! She would rather date the bus driver and that makes you a pretty big loser.
So here is what you do. It's very simple. Do not do anything with the engine because chicks don't now the difference. Give it a nice paint job, and add a white racing stripe along the side. MAKE SURE IT IS NIFTY. I cannot stress this enough. Then, add some hydraulics so your car bounces up and down and she can see you coming to the bus stop a mile away. This has no performance advantages whatsoever, but it looks cool and gives her an idea of how she will look when on top of you.
Step 2: Use weather to your advantage
No one likes waiting at the bus stop when it's raining, especially if the shelter has been blown off by torrential winds. ( Queenslanders are you paying attention?) Use this to your advantage people! Picking up chicks at bus stops gets 100 times easier when it's raining or snowing or hailing. Sometimes, it will even negate the fact that you have a crap car or no teeth. Once you offer them a ride, they will do the following: look around desperately for the bus, check their watch, sigh, and then take you up on the offer. Hurricanes, tornados, tsunami's. These are your friends. Use them wisely.
Step 3: Pick out the right girl.
Who is the ideal bus stop girl? The most vulnerable one, that's who. The easiest chick to pick up at a bus shelter is the one who has the highest "looks really hot but dresses inappropriately" ratio. You know the girl I'm talking about. She's all alone at the bus stop, hugging her books tight to her chest, looking down at the pavement, could or could not be wearing artsy glasses. This girl is sad, sad that she doesn't have many friends because she is afraid of breaking out of her social shell, perhaps due to a past. Perhaps a boy broke her heart, perhaps she experienced tragedy in her family. This girl needs some tender loving. And there is nothing more tender than a p****.
By offering her a ride, you are showing your soft, compassionate side. You are showing that you sense the slightest human suffering. You are a good, warm, and caring person. A good, warm and caring person that is desperate to have sex.
Step 4: Pick out the right bus stops
Like I said, you want to go to bus stops that have no bus shelters. That way, you can use inclement weather to your advantage. Also, you want to pick a bus stop which has a fairly long stop light. This gives you at least 40-60 seconds to operate. If you pick a bus stop that is in the middle of the street and you have to pull off to the side of the road and put your hazard lights on so you can talk to her, you've already failed because you're trying too hard. If you naturally stop at a red light, then it looks like you weren't even trying to pick her up. You were merely obeying the law and chicks dig that.
Also, avoid bus shelters near stop signs. That gives you absolutely no window of opportunity, especially if there is a car behind you and it's not a four way stop.
Step 5: The approach
You car is pimped out. It's raining cats and dogs. You have the confidence-shattered girl in your sights. It's time to bust a move pimp.
Slowly roll up in your car. Turn your head casually like you're just driving through, and not there to pick up a chick at a bus stop. Make eye contact and smile. If you have bad teeth, or no teeth, then just do one of those non-teeth showing smiles and let your eyes do the talking. You may have to stare for a while because remember, this girl is depressed and enjoys staring down at concrete. Once she looks up, and makes eye contact, roll down your window. Remember, make sure you have manual windows. It shows that you are exuding a mild degree of effort. Say, "need a ride?" and smile again.
Now, the most important thing here is to look as NON THREATENING AS POSSIBLE. This girl may be depressed and probably hasn't been laid in a while, but girls don't take rides with strange, scary looking men, not even depressed girls, so make sure you clean yourself up a little. She will make her decision within the first ten seconds. Anything past ten seconds and there is either something wrong with her, or there is something wrong with you; most likely the former because you're a stud and there is always the next bus stop.
Now, if she says yes, DO NOT leave your car, go out into the pouring rain like a pussy, and open her door for her. Open it from the inside. You do not want to reek of desperation. She will enter your car, apologize for dripping water all over your interior, but you will brush it off with the wave of your hand. Remember, compassion, human suffering, niceness. Put the p**** away for now.
Now that you have her in the car, speed off before she changes her mind. Ask her questions about her life, gently probing and poking at the hard shell that has formed around her social being after all these years. Don't say anything about you because no one gives a rats. Talk about her and only her. If there are any awkward pauses, tell her about your missionary work in the Philippines or your charity work with the blind. It's okay, you can make it up. Remember: It's not a lie if you believe it. This chick is sensitive, and she loves a sensitive guy. Milk that cow till its bone dry.
When you arrive at her house, tell her that it was nice meeting her, and perhaps if it's okay, you can call her sometime? Make sure you sound innocent and naïve, even though we both know you're a horny freak who can't wait to get into her pants. If you she does not yes, then recall my 100% money back guarantee.
But I assure you she will, you pimp you. And if she doesn't, send her over to Odes place. At least then one of you will get laid.
HOW TO PICK UP CHICKS AT BUS STOPS
(OR TRAM STOPS IN THE SOUTHERN STATES)
Tired of never meeting women? Tired of going to bars and clubs but struggling to catch the attention of that young girl in the middle of a giant bloke fest? Tired of never getting laid?
If you answered no to all of those questions, then go straight to *Accounts* and delete RSVP membership (don’t be greedy). But, if you answered yes to even one of them, take my hand and come with me on this journey.
The key to picking up chicks is to understand that chicks are everywhere. Where their is civilization, their is chicks. They are not just in clubs or bars, or supermarkets. They are in your everyday places, and whilst this advice is geared for the man with wheels, with slight modification it can be reused for various other potentially socially awkward situations that cannot be covered in todays topic, but keep in mind when wanting to pick up chicks in an elevator ( captured audience) or at the docto’rs office ( captured & most likely sick so defenses will be at an alltime low)
After you have read and re read my advice, you will be able to walk up to a women in any of these situations, get her number, get a date, and get laid, eventually leading to a healthy long-term relationship. Or, conversely, a lot of casual monkey sex with you eventually dumping her because she wants commitment. Either way, if you manage to get at least a date, I know I have done my job and that gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside that reminds me why I got into the business in the first place.
Now, in this scenario, you will learn how to pick up chicks at a bus stop. The beauty of picking up chicks at bus stops is that you literally and figuratively pick them up, and for that you will need a car.
Step 1: Fix your car
A lot of chicks don't mind taking the bus. But a lot of chicks DO mind being wheeled around in a bomb. If your little mobile goes 0 to 60 in four hours, then you gotta problem. Can you car compare to a bus? A bus is like a massive, pimping SUV with 4000 horse power and lots of 45 inch wheels. Can your ride compete with that? I didn't think so.
If you stroll beside a bus stop in your sputtering car, that chicks not going to want a ride! She would rather date the bus driver and that makes you a pretty big loser.
So here is what you do. It's very simple. Do not do anything with the engine because chicks don't now the difference. Give it a nice paint job, and add a white racing stripe along the side. MAKE SURE IT IS NIFTY. I cannot stress this enough. Then, add some hydraulics so your car bounces up and down and she can see you coming to the bus stop a mile away. This has no performance advantages whatsoever, but it looks cool and gives her an idea of how she will look when on top of you.
Step 2: Use weather to your advantage
No one likes waiting at the bus stop when it's raining, especially if the shelter has been blown off by torrential winds. ( Queenslanders are you paying attention?) Use this to your advantage people! Picking up chicks at bus stops gets 100 times easier when it's raining or snowing or hailing. Sometimes, it will even negate the fact that you have a crap car or no teeth. Once you offer them a ride, they will do the following: look around desperately for the bus, check their watch, sigh, and then take you up on the offer. Hurricanes, tornados, tsunami's. These are your friends. Use them wisely.
Step 3: Pick out the right girl.
Who is the ideal bus stop girl? The most vulnerable one, that's who. The easiest chick to pick up at a bus shelter is the one who has the highest "looks really hot but dresses inappropriately" ratio. You know the girl I'm talking about. She's all alone at the bus stop, hugging her books tight to her chest, looking down at the pavement, could or could not be wearing artsy glasses. This girl is sad, sad that she doesn't have many friends because she is afraid of breaking out of her social shell, perhaps due to a past. Perhaps a boy broke her heart, perhaps she experienced tragedy in her family. This girl needs some tender loving. And there is nothing more tender than a p****.
By offering her a ride, you are showing your soft, compassionate side. You are showing that you sense the slightest human suffering. You are a good, warm, and caring person. A good, warm and caring person that is desperate to have sex.
Step 4: Pick out the right bus stops
Like I said, you want to go to bus stops that have no bus shelters. That way, you can use inclement weather to your advantage. Also, you want to pick a bus stop which has a fairly long stop light. This gives you at least 40-60 seconds to operate. If you pick a bus stop that is in the middle of the street and you have to pull off to the side of the road and put your hazard lights on so you can talk to her, you've already failed because you're trying too hard. If you naturally stop at a red light, then it looks like you weren't even trying to pick her up. You were merely obeying the law and chicks dig that.
Also, avoid bus shelters near stop signs. That gives you absolutely no window of opportunity, especially if there is a car behind you and it's not a four way stop.
Step 5: The approach
You car is pimped out. It's raining cats and dogs. You have the confidence-shattered girl in your sights. It's time to bust a move pimp.
Slowly roll up in your car. Turn your head casually like you're just driving through, and not there to pick up a chick at a bus stop. Make eye contact and smile. If you have bad teeth, or no teeth, then just do one of those non-teeth showing smiles and let your eyes do the talking. You may have to stare for a while because remember, this girl is depressed and enjoys staring down at concrete. Once she looks up, and makes eye contact, roll down your window. Remember, make sure you have manual windows. It shows that you are exuding a mild degree of effort. Say, "need a ride?" and smile again.
Now, the most important thing here is to look as NON THREATENING AS POSSIBLE. This girl may be depressed and probably hasn't been laid in a while, but girls don't take rides with strange, scary looking men, not even depressed girls, so make sure you clean yourself up a little. She will make her decision within the first ten seconds. Anything past ten seconds and there is either something wrong with her, or there is something wrong with you; most likely the former because you're a stud and there is always the next bus stop.
Now, if she says yes, DO NOT leave your car, go out into the pouring rain like a pussy, and open her door for her. Open it from the inside. You do not want to reek of desperation. She will enter your car, apologize for dripping water all over your interior, but you will brush it off with the wave of your hand. Remember, compassion, human suffering, niceness. Put the p**** away for now.
Now that you have her in the car, speed off before she changes her mind. Ask her questions about her life, gently probing and poking at the hard shell that has formed around her social being after all these years. Don't say anything about you because no one gives a rats. Talk about her and only her. If there are any awkward pauses, tell her about your missionary work in the Philippines or your charity work with the blind. It's okay, you can make it up. Remember: It's not a lie if you believe it. This chick is sensitive, and she loves a sensitive guy. Milk that cow till its bone dry.
When you arrive at her house, tell her that it was nice meeting her, and perhaps if it's okay, you can call her sometime? Make sure you sound innocent and naïve, even though we both know you're a horny freak who can't wait to get into her pants. If you she does not yes, then recall my 100% money back guarantee.
But I assure you she will, you pimp you. And if she doesn't, send her over to Odes place. At least then one of you will get laid.
Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 14, 2008 9:23 AM
today122
Nah, don't work in dental health. I've always worried I'd be one of those dentist-suicides, so I've avoided the occupation like the plague/plaque ;-)
I just read lots of oddball junk.
Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at January 14, 2008 9:04 AM
O.K. guys, I went out last night after posting that message on the blog, but I'm still awaiting the profile update police's approval to ensure no contact details are in it etc; etc;
So I will advise as soon as it is available for your viewing pleasure
Posted by: shadowzone at January 14, 2008 8:57 AM
ODE - any response yet? you don't work in dental health by any chance? I've known a few of these people and they're just a tad pedantic about their oral hygeine. Not saying that you are also, but.........
Posted by: today122 at January 14, 2008 8:52 AM
HOW NOT TO REPLY TO AN EMAIL ASKING YOU ABOUT YOUR RSVP PICTURE WITH A TOOTHBRUSH
[One of our poor bloggers just received this reply to a query about my toothbrush pic. Guys following my 6-hour grooming routine are advised not to copy this reply.]
Yeah, it's a toothbrush. A manual toothbrush. A Colgate 360 soft-bristled manual toothbrush. That's my toothbrush of choice for my 6-hour grooming routine. It's one of only a few toothbrushes that have a built-in tongue scraper -- no need to fork out money on Oral B Care Essentials. There's a battery-operated version of the Colgate 360, but I can't stand battery- or electric-powered toothbrushes. One reason is that I find them too slow to use -- I feel compelled to follow the included instructions to the letter, and that would mean a boring routine consisting of 32 x 3 seconds (front surfaces) + 32 x 3 seconds (back surfaces) + 20 seconds (chewing surfaces), which amounts to over 3.5 minutes, a far cry from the 2-minute timers they build into the darn things. If I were to invest in an electric toothbrush, it would probably be the Colgate Actibrush. With my manual, I work on multiple teeth simultaneously. Then after my tongue scraping, I pull out a floss sword, which I find easier to use than the usual floss. But if I were to use the usual floss, I would use the ones coated with a cleaning agent, such as Reach Cleanpaste. I have yet to experiment with interdental brushes or water-jet systems. I abhor baking-soda concoctions, non-fluoride toothpastes containing hippy nose hair, and so-called whitening toothpastes that have only an abrasive effect and no structural effect on the enamel. I don't bother with laxative-effect chewing gums or breath sprays. I close my oral routine with Dentyl mouthwash, which has no alcohol and thus doesn't dry the mouth or aggravate halitosis. Listerine is OK, but I don't like the fact that it contains ethanol -- and I suspect it can cause fluorosis-like symptoms, though I am not entirely sure. Plax has been shown to rank as well as tap water. Savacol stains teeth. Cepacol tastes like urine, or as I conceive urine would taste like. Once a month I do my post-Zoom maintenance bleaching routine using the Opalescence 20% system with my dentist-moulded mouthguard. I prefer Carbamide Peroxide. I avoid coffee, red wine, most sauces, tetracycline, and other staining substances. I don't eat garlic. The only time I'd smell of garlic is when I'm experimenting with my garlic, apple cider vinegar, and aqueous iodine (5% iodine, 10% potassium iodide -- NOT betadine or the alcohol-containing iodine tincture) skin remedies. My teeth are very straight, but if that were not so, I would opt for the Invisalign orthodontic solution. I avoid all bar brawls. My name is Online Dating Expert, and this is my Pat Bateman "American Psycho" impersonation.
Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at January 14, 2008 8:49 AM
and it's ok - I'll just keep talking to myself. not working this week, or not paid work anyway.
Posted by: today122 at January 14, 2008 8:44 AM
and yes - the resort. while Bob the builder and stratosphere and the others are busy doing whatever it is they do, besides emptying the esky and being scared of baths, the rest of us will be sitting around admiring the handiwork, talking deep and meaningfuls, but getting a suntan as well. I forgot about that.
Posted by: today122 at January 14, 2008 8:43 AM
morning all.
SSC and others - oh dear. I think I make a lot of observations, that appear to be criticisms, and they're not. I wonder about these things, like willow was talking about, and I spose I think out loud and make observations that may or may not be correct. Not at all attacking or passing judgment, maybe opening discussion or something. And I find the blog to be very good in gaining insight and understanding into the why's and wherefore's and the mystery that is men, sorry ODE. And our other mates do get tired of what we rabbit on about, or mine do anyway, but obviously I just talk too much, and most of here can relate to what the others talk about, in some way.
So serious and too many words for early in the morning.
Posted by: today122 at January 14, 2008 8:37 AM
amdoingit at January 13, 2008 11:19 PM
Yes that would have been aweful at the time. However hearing about it does make you chuckle.
Posted by: mstingle at January 14, 2008 5:50 AM
Does anyone else here drive around at these early hours trying to find signs of life somewhere?
Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at January 14, 2008 3:23 AM
Posted by: jaspercat at January 13, 2008 8:22 PM
It can only get better jaspercat on the blogs..or the real mean stuff gets wiped away often. Hope some of the postings are helpful to you. Its nice to have a laugh but not at others expense, hey.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 14, 2008 1:50 AM
We sit here talking about how hard it is to meet people....
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 5:52 PM
today122: hi, its not that easy to meet The One..and the blog is therapeutic at times. Seems like a way to get to know a handful of RSVPers to put a bit of life to some profiles. Not a criticism of what you said of course. Our friends may get tired of the sort of things we talk about. We now have the resort at the Maldives too.
abckenny: interesting store in Sydney coincidentally !!!!!
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 14, 2008 1:35 AM
A store that sells new husbands has opened in Sydney, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice', she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that have big tits, love sex, and have money.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
Posted by: abckenny at January 14, 2008 1:17 AM
ODE. If you want to increase your exposure to women, streak in front of the cameras at the next cricket test. It’s the only time they watch the cricket, then they ring Channel 9 up for instant replays
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 13, 2008 6:23 PM
If either of you do that please announce it on the blog so at least some bloggers may get to see it : )) then I can read about it. Oh and BTW...not relevant to the blog topic..um am doing door to door sales (its a way to meet ppl) and there was a nekked man who answered the door. Behind a screen, and I spoke to him for 20 mins of course. I saw nothing but his face peering though the privacy screen. That was my first day of work and the second door. It was simply funny to me.
Willow1059: yes RSViP is a good idea. Its not the expiry date its the cost of 6 right now as I have to buy other things that take priority. Hope you enjoyed popping in here, nice poems and maybe you will come back and say hi again. Good to have new humour on the blog, even if it goes away : )
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 14, 2008 12:46 AM
slightsynchronicity : Just a big thank you for you :)
Posted by: thetinman68 at January 13, 2008 12:01 PM
no probs, trying to catch up on blog reading as teenagers had to go on mySpace and so on.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 14, 2008 12:24 AM
Wit and charm mean nothing if you are as boring as batshit in reality.......K
Posted by: auntykaz at January 13, 2008 9:55 PM
true auntykaz, funny post but serious topic kind of.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 14, 2008 12:15 AM
today122 - I don't think that it should be a problem, keep us posted.
ninaschen - don't worry, we'll get Bob sorted out, or at least return the esky with something in it :), building to resume tomorrow, till then.............
Posted by: stratus65 at January 13, 2008 11:33 PM
Wishfulthinker, she was no teenager. Was in fact married, late 20's and had a baby due soon. Wanted her dad to have a partner that she was also ok with so the newborn would also have a "nice" granny.. Long story.. At least a bottle of red to get through it.. Can't help but smirk to myself as I recount it.. Still, as you say, at least he had his daughter's support. Would've been nice if she'd said somethin though wouldn't it??? "G"
Posted by: amdoingit at January 13, 2008 11:32 PM
Apologies not necessary Suzie.. Have been awol for a bit both on blogs and site. Latest beau turned out to be married but hey.. Them's the breaks.. Found out early enough in the piece so minimal damage!!! Enough said on the blog.. Away in morning for a couple of days with work but will email you when I get back.. Good luck with coffee date.. X "G"
Posted by: amdoingit at January 13, 2008 11:28 PM
And Stratus – I’m doubting very much if it will be approved and loaded. And I now regret my indiscretion in talking about it. Will I be banned from the blogs? Hope not.
But – silly me. In loading this, I’ve now lost my real one. So have to rewrite that as well.
Maybe that’s karma?
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 11:27 PM
Stratus, Bob needs a good talking to, scarpering with the eskie. But I'll let you boys sort that one out.
The Resort is still on the agenda. We need our other partners in crime on-line to get things moving. It seems Mondays are the best for building and dreaming. Catch you all again, then!
Posted by: ninaschen at January 13, 2008 11:26 PM
The daughter did it? That is too funny in a very scarey sort of way - on the upside if she was chosing his "dates" and organising his lovelife, at least she was okay with it - many teenagers may not be so enthusiastic!
Well, another weekend been and gone - time I said goodnight.....
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 13, 2008 11:23 PM
Willow, they're never too young to learn!!!! Start planting seeds!!!
Posted by: amdoingit at January 13, 2008 11:22 PM
Hey G... good to hear from you again.. I was going to write you an email.. but crap with everything that has been happening I forgot... sorry!! Hope is all good with you. And thanks... for the advice.. am trying very hard to be positive.... I have a coffee kind of date on Wednesday.. if he doesn't bail.. he isn't from here though. So that will be nice.. :-)
Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 13, 2008 11:19 PM
today122, he knew she'd registered him on a singles site and she'd given him a brief description via phone of a few she'd "selected" from a group that she'd contacted and told him she'd passed on his phone number and to expect some calls.
When I called I was greeted with "and which one are you?" Choice or what?? As you can well imagine the phone call was so not like the emails and needless to say it went no further than that one call either.. All part of the trials and tribulations on this site.. Was totally P'd off at the time but it's now just a standard joke.. Have to see the funny side don't you???
Posted by: amdoingit at January 13, 2008 11:19 PM
amdoingit, Fake profiles lead me to say
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Many words said
Was my daughter courting you
Oh, the audacity of our children. Unfortunately mine at 3 and 5 are too young to help me out. Bummer!
Posted by: willow1059 at January 13, 2008 11:12 PM
Today122...i have things to do just don't have the motivation to do them (must of been the weed pulling I did earlier). Can't even get motivated to have an early night - what an odd thing THAT would be. Of course, it'll all go back to normal once work starts up again....
720 odd posts...(some very odd), wonder if this one will implode and we'll get something half-way decent to talk about!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 13, 2008 11:12 PM
Hey Suzie @ 9.15pm.. Can't tell you what to look out for sweet pea but can tell you to stay positive. Each "dud" (for want of a better word) has to be one closer to a "McDreamy" doesn't it??? For every one there's someone, somewhere so just hang in there baby.. Good things come to those who wait... Just don't hold your breath as it could take a "bit" longer. Good Luck.. X... "G"
Posted by: amdoingit at January 13, 2008 11:11 PM
today122 gutsy effort to post THE profile, just wonder if it will be read by the guys responding.
The resort, everyone's been a bit slack lately, still waiting for Bob to return with the esky.
Ninaschen, no I haven't been peeking through your window - a bit difficult when your curtains are drawn.
Posted by: stratus65 at January 13, 2008 11:08 PM
amdoingit - the daughter! that's a classic. did he know nothing at all about any of it?
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 11:02 PM
have we got nothing better to do? how's the resort coming along?
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 11:00 PM
Of course it's mirth that makes me smile, Stratus! I am deeply wounded that you would think otherwise. What do you take me for? Oh yes, that's right - you take me for a wicked, cackling witch. You've been peeking through my window, haven't you?
Posted by: ninaschen at January 13, 2008 10:59 PM
Well, well, thought I'd stick my nose in and see what's happening in blogland and lo and behold 2 of my fav's passing comments.
Good one Kaz... Have had that experience myself as some of you out there know (and first hand). Wasn't as boring as batshit but was definitely "different" Memories eh what??? No comments from those of you who know either !!!
What about the guy I was emailling and when I finally got to talk on phone found out he hadn't read one of my emails and hadn't written one to me either. Was his daughter I'd been corresponding with and she'd done his profile as well... Beat that one!!!
Also you can spin a heap of bull as well but sure as eggs you WILL come undone... Those "porkie's" have a way of doing a full circle and coming back to bite you in the butt, well and truly..
Nina @ 9.34pm.. Couldn't agree with you more my friend... X
I like to read profiles a couple of times plus I always study the face.. Eyes tell a lot for me.. They are after all the windows to the soul. If there's not much info I've asked them to update profile and get back to me..
Actually did a bit of surfing on the site earlier and found umpteen profiles with only a few lines written and most details not filled in. I just moved on, see, same as you Nina..
Have a great night all, happy blogging and good luck with your searches. "G"
Posted by: amdoingit at January 13, 2008 10:58 PM
ODE was offering $100 for anyone who can provide the "answer" to approaching women...or something :)
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 13, 2008 10:57 PM
no I'm the one cackling - I just loaded THE profile to beat all others. Watch this space!
(still being approved - so I'll let you know)
and - someone remind me please - what was the $100 bet for?
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 10:53 PM
I sincerely hope that you are smiling from mirth, and not at the thought of my demise, and cackling away like a wicked witch over her boiling broth, all the while knowing that it will require at least 20 years of psychotherapy to overcome my anguish.
Posted by: stratus65 at January 13, 2008 10:49 PM
My apologies, Stratus. I was getting confused between families. It is the Ninaschen family that leads each other to slaughter. Not the Blogland family. No, no. We are all very supportive of each other here and watch each other's backs. Go ahead, indulge in the experiment. You will meet the woman of your dreams as a consequence. Trust us. Now, this is where others do the smiling, winking face thingy. Those of you who have been around for a while know that I really struggle with using that (and with the abhorrent, text-speak). So suffice to say, Stratus, I am smiling as I type!
Posted by: ninaschen at January 13, 2008 10:41 PM
Willow, nice work! ODE, wish we knew what the "secret" was, but only $100? If only we could work it out -but then again, we'd miss all the poems, wit and cynacism here!
Jenjen, I found those first lot in the first couple of pages I scrolled through - my personal favourite was (and still is)....
I was a deputy principle at a very good school...*sigh* I fell sorry for any child under his care.
Profiles with a great pic and not much information - yes I'd probably respond due to my curiousity or something, but I'd not expect much out of it. I did see one with "Will fill in later" in every space, and I was left wondering when "later" would be.
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 13, 2008 10:37 PM
jenjen - sorry sorry sorry :)
I spose I'll have to do it now, god. wonder how long it will last! But there's a good show on tv so it will have to wait.
and status - go for it. looking forward to hearing the - ah success.
and nina - yep - poor bastard! what's that saying - I wouldn't want to join a club that would have me as a member
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 10:22 PM
ninaschen
As much as I appreciate your encouragement, I'm not sure about the 'lamb to the slaughter' bit.
Posted by: stratus65 at January 13, 2008 10:18 PM
How stoic (hey, blogland Stoic, come back, I miss you!) of you Stratus to agree to conduct this social experiment. Like Willow, you are one of the family now. And as such, I am perfectly happy to send you off as a lamb to the slaughter. Don't thank me. That is what family is for. Do your worst and report back regularly.
I was wondering where Bob is too. His grilled cheese sandwich is coagulating.
Posted by: ninaschen at January 13, 2008 10:10 PM
willow1059 - excellent!
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 10:08 PM
willow, absolutely brilliant....what more can be said, enjoy your time off away from the blogs.
Posted by: stratus65 at January 13, 2008 10:05 PM
today122
Thank's for the compliment. But I have to say that there has been a lot of advice on how to tweak and improve our profiles, and a lot of sound advice has come from it that I believe not only benefits the owner of the profile, but also others who read this blog, so in the words of Jen the jaded, a social experiment has begun, for me to see if people really read the profile and on the whole, take notice, other than fellow bloggers. By the way, don't forget we are still working on the house of disillusionment, speaking of which where is Bob......and the esky??
Posted by: stratus65 at January 13, 2008 10:00 PM
Excellent, Willow! Don't stay away too long. You are one of the 'family' (poor bastard) now!
Posted by: ninaschen at January 13, 2008 9:58 PM
jen - I know. and maybe for our collective education as well. but scary result??
who's gonna put up the brain dancer profile? maybe me
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 9:55 PM
Anyone can write anything in a profile as we all know, and you can make yourself sound as witty and charming as possible, but the proof is inevitably in the pudding as they say.
Wit and charm mean nothing if you are as boring as batshit in reality.......K
Posted by: auntykaz at January 13, 2008 9:55 PM
In advance I apologise to bloggers left out, there is only so much one man can do. Until another time, and yes today122 it does rhyme.
The perfect profile
For all to see
This may take a while
Reaching higher than the tallest tree
Bob with bodacious
With meaning remarkable
Followed with salacious
Erotic for all
Profiles on occasion sagacious
At times, as was advice
Some with origin surely cretaceous
Other times to be avoided as should head lice
Jenjen with poetry so rich
At times caustic was Neurotic Fish
Clearly the topic was switched
To be appreciated, serve with condiment on dish
Insightful was Today
One of a kind is ODE
Eloquent in her own way
Original in what he can see
Wishfulthinker so balanced you are
Stratus a man with many layers
A quality that should take you far
Not one of RSVP players
Perspicacious we can be
With propensity to digress
Some ideas best left to float to sea
Bad traits less and less
DB2 hot on syntax and spelling
Let’s not forget MsTingle
For our indiscretions very telling
A lover of places rich with shingle
Time is short for me
Poem now is fully read
Farewell as I flee
With no more words to be said
Bye.
Posted by: willow1059 at January 13, 2008 9:54 PM
today122
This is a social experiment being undertaken by stratus for our collective amusement :)
Can't wait for the results !
Who the heck knows what is going to work around here.........
Jen the jaded
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 9:45 PM
Ode-interesting post @8.32 pm
Formula is one way of describing it, but it really is "attraction" and I am not just talking about finding someone physically appealing, but the emotional pull that urges an individual to unconsciously to pursue someone even if it is not logically in their best interest.
I do believe that it is cerebral and mostly unconscious and their are numerous triggers that we may or may not be aware of. Confidence is one of the initial enticers,( both for male & female) and allows the psychological space needed to be attracted, along with how someone makes us 'feel' when we are with them.
This is just skimming the surface..I know..but I am always up for a wager.
Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 13, 2008 9:44 PM
Jenjen by the sound of it = yes you do know and you also rock and keep making us laugh your finds are classic.
Posted by: jaspercat at January 13, 2008 9:43 PM
I should find some of the girls profiles that are after a "suger daddy". Now that will make you laugh ! watch this space
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 13, 2008 9:41 PM
stratus and jenjen - is there some sort of copyright over plagiarising other people's sleazy words?
don't do it stratus - your profile is great just as it is!!
and ninaschen - exactly! looks always become comfortable or fade or whatever is the nice way to word that. The mind is always what it's all about.
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 9:41 PM
jasper
Not a lot actually, maybe 30. Absolute shockers a lot of them, from my point of view, but hey, what would I know.........
Suzie
Love your profile........and the audio........and the hair........go girl !
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 9:38 PM
junebaby
are you logged in under the new name? or still under june baby?
But more importantly - how will we know it's you on the blogs??
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 9:36 PM
Question to anyone in blogland tonight- would you still contact a person if they had glaring gaps, not much info and mistakes in thier profile?? BUT had a fab photo!!!
Posted by: junebaby57 at January 13, 2008 8:49 PM
In response, I have to say, JuneBaby, it's a NO from me. Call me weird, but I much prefer a man's mind to his looks. There is an old saying that all cats are grey in the dark. It has an element of truth to it. When the light is off and you can't see what someone looks like, all you can go on are the words coming out of their mouth.
And if he has nothing intelligible to say across the breakfast table - I might as well go out and shoot myself. Don't get me wrong, there needs to be some element of physical attraction - but that is a very subjective thing as we know. As long as he has a twinkle in his eye and a brain in his head ....!
Posted by: ninaschen at January 13, 2008 9:34 PM
Thanks again jenjen, I think that I have enough ammunition now. I have started to word the new profile, and it is hard to find the right keys when laughing so much. I just wonder when I post it, how long I should leave it up for?
Posted by: stratus65 at January 13, 2008 9:28 PM
junebaby - yes of course. but if the wording sounds a bit suss, then it only raises doubts about the photo too surely
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 9:26 PM
Jenjen how many profiles have you looked at today??? They are a scream. Well done
Posted by: jaspercat at January 13, 2008 9:26 PM
shadowzone
Earth to shadowzone...........come in shadowzone.............
seraphsuzie is right........you aren't visible..............
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 9:26 PM
hey guys, I changed my name today, but when I blog the old name, junebaby still comes up, but I just checked anf my profile is under the new name??? what did I do wrong???jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at January 13, 2008 9:23 PM
stratus
Cant help myself but these are absolutely the last!!
Promise !
hey sweety want a descent boyfriend…………descending !
Missing the sweet smell of a lady………….no comment
My Word is my bon………..ok
Cut thru the crud……….thats just nasty
Successul businessman………..really ??
Laughter the atidote to all that ailes…………..hehe
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 9:22 PM
Seraphsuzie you do have a great profile - DONT change it. You have a georgeous smile and so so natural so I am expecting it wont be long. You go girl.
Posted by: jaspercat at January 13, 2008 9:18 PM
ODE - and no offense taken. I'm just always amazed at men having trouble understanding women. I think there's a little more to it than that but sick of my theories. I really think men are far more complicated than women.
I also forgot your tender years.
and willow - gawd - profiles of the profile writers. in rhyme?
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 9:18 PM
Um shadowzone.. your profile isn't even visible????
Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 13, 2008 9:17 PM
ok ok it is i before e except after c...so it should be"their profile" sorry all...jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at January 13, 2008 9:16 PM
I think I have a pretty awesome profile.. It's me .. exactly..... Yet I am still single. I just wish I knew how to weed out the good from the bad. I just don't have that kind of sensor it seems.
Lately I have been getting kisses from men who I really don't think can read.. because they are completely the opposite of me. I sent one guy a reply back.. 'SeraphSuzie is actually wondering if you read her profile'... I think that is how it goes. I am not normally that blunt but really it just annoyed me this time!!!!
If anyone can tell me what signs to look for when you start chatting to someone on here.. to know if they will potentially hurt you.. I would love to know.. save me time and another broken heart!!!
Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 13, 2008 9:15 PM
O.K. first things first - I got around to doing what i think is a decent update of my profile today.
Everyone's thought's on this are appreciated. What needs changing or removing?
Thanks.
Posted by: shadowzone at January 13, 2008 9:13 PM
Today122, how do you know anyone's photo is real until you meet them!!!
ODE I still have a hard time working out what men want, older men are not as easy to work out as younger men...they also have baggage, and lot of them still want sex, but are unsure about relationships!!!
So why some of them are even looking for a relationship on RSVP...it beats me!!!!!
Posted by: junebaby57 at January 13, 2008 9:13 PM
jenjen57
Thanks, they are brilliant, have copied and pasted a few, (ouch my stomach hurts from laughing too much), I will incorporate some of these as well.
Posted by: stratus65 at January 13, 2008 9:11 PM
today122 I can only say
A pandoras box we have created
Problems with no end in sight
At least the RSVP editor has waited
For answers neither wrong or right
I will be returning to work in the morning so my brief foray into RSVP bloggsville will most likely end or become infrequent as time will be short. I have enjoyed the company, however remote it is, of all the contributors.
May your profiles be rich and full
Your lives enriched with fun
Break no RSVP rule
Each day rising with the Sun
I will post my final instalment a little later, a eulogy to the living, a profile of the profile writers.
Posted by: willow1059 at January 13, 2008 9:09 PM
Fish
I was meaning I wish you all the best. Good luck to you that it SEEMS like you like her and I hope it works out. I hope as I said before that most of us find happiness this year... Come on 2008
Pussycat
Posted by: jaspercat at January 13, 2008 9:08 PM
Pussycat
I am not trying to “catch” her. I am just amazed at what she has achieved in life (well she also plays a mean bass guitar, which would get me every time). You see, I’m not here to catch every stray woman in sight. I don’t mind adoring a few of them. Joining their fan club. Just remember there is a thing called playing out of your league. She is big time. I’m just happy that she spent a stamp on me. And I lie when I say there are not others like her on this site. There are. Very successful high achieving women in their fields and disciplines. Love you all.
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 13, 2008 9:05 PM
Junebaby... thier profile ?? :) sorry but I had to mention it :)
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 13, 2008 9:04 PM
stratus65
Maybe you can use some of these, that were prepared earlier for you by some of your competitors ??
Rather in joy a nice meal.
I might not be Prince Charning
I cannot read your mind. I am sensual and touchy feely
i have more travel on the agender
Like to think I am a bit of a rommantic
Slim,6 foot with a small tummy
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 8:59 PM
Question to anyone in blogland tonight- would you still contact a person if they had glaring gaps, not much info and mistakes in thier profile?? BUT had a fab photo!!!
Posted by: junebaby57 at January 13, 2008 8:49 PM
Absolutely...........one of my favourite people I have met here has a profile a bit like that !!
You just never never know jewels :)
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 8:56 PM
today122 - maybe it's just this generation of women. Or maybe it's all women until they become the older generation. I dunno. To be fair, my observations in public are centred on younger women.
And I meant no offense when I said I couldn't figure out women. If anything, it's a compliment that they're not as simple and single-tracked as men.
Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at January 13, 2008 8:53 PM
hi junebaby
question - if there are gaps you could drive though, obvious mistakes and inconsistency, how do you know the photo is of them????
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 8:53 PM
about the streaking, if it was at the cricket, I would miss out, but if at a St George or a Raiders football game, you would get my attention!!!! happy sunday night all....jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at January 13, 2008 8:53 PM
jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 8:01 PM ....very clever and makes a lot of sense, I have had a couple of these types you have mentioned, in the past, I now know a lot better, and know what to watch out for!!!!
WNW, with all those bits and parts out of bad profiles, it is a wonder that anyone meets anyone at all.
Question to anyone in blogland tonight- would you still contact a person if they had glaring gaps, not much info and mistakes in thier profile?? BUT had a fab photo!!!
Posted by: junebaby57 at January 13, 2008 8:49 PM
and that last one is a really good song. maybe it needs the song behind it, but I ain't singing it!!
and ODE - ok. I'm not betting anything. I don't know of any formula, and I doubt if there is one.
I think I'm becoming more and more amazed at what I hear of - dare I say it - manipulative fickle women, and realise how little I really know. And how little I've known of women. But if this is the general opinion, it does explain a lot. Is this the general impression of women?
But as men object to being put in the "player, cad, bounder" pigeonhole, so too do women cry foul at being labelled difficult or tricky or keep em guessing. It only tars all others with the same mud. I don't know anyone like that, but maybe at my age my mates and I are a bit beyond the games.
and cynical is healthy I reckon. touch of realism and doubt never hurt anyone
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 8:46 PM
In spite of my saying the poetry was all a bit sad, please allow my little entry.
Love Song for No one - John Mayer
Staying home alone on a Friday
flat on the floor looking back
on old love
or lack thereof
after all the crushes are faded
and all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it
I'm tired of being alone
so hurry up and get here
so tired of being alone
so hurry up and get here
Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
when I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
staying up all night just to write
a love song for no one
I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
and watched you walk away?
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 8:36 PM
jenjen
I agree, it will be an interesting profile, and the results could prove even more interesting..........top 100 look out!!
Posted by: stratus65 at January 13, 2008 8:35 PM
neuroticfish - I don't have the body to be a streaker yet.
today122 - women are a mystery to me, at least. I'm still trying to figure out how the average bloke can approach single women and have an 80+% success rate. In virtually every other species, there is a guaranteed formula in the form of a courting ritual. I'm trying to discover that formula for humans, under the assumption it's out there somewhere. Some may say it doesn't exist. Perhaps they're right. At this point, I am hopeful.
When I make the process seem easier than it is, that's part of my satirical poking at the male dating coaches and male advice columnists out there. Fact is, most of them are just advocating a play-the-numbers game, hidden behind a dizzying array of "tactics" and "techniques". They're even brazen enough to call the process of moving on to another woman a "next" or an "exit", as though failure deserves the honour of a stylish label. I don't want to follow a system that is only marginally better than chance. It's a no-brainer that if you throw next to anything at 20 women, you're bound to have an instance of success or two.
Women are a mystery to me in the sense that, with guys, I know how the average girl can win over the average single guy -- pretty much just walk up and talk to him. If anything, at least the guy will listen and give the time of day, ulterior motives or not.
But with women, my observations at the local venues have convinced me that it doesn't matter how good you look or how bad you look, how smart you are or how dumb you are, how wealthy you are or how poor you are, how confident you are or how timid you are, how funny you are or how boring you are -- there is just no easy answer to the mystery. There is no consistency.
I am cynical in the sense that I know that conventional advice is a load of bull. 4-5 nights a week I witness the practice of conventional advice hit the pavement. I meet guys who strike me as awesome and deserving -- confident, funny, smart, bulked up, humble, whatever -- yet watch in sheer disbelief as single women just refuse to give them any traction, no matter what the approach. I've seen the application of all conventional advice receive the cold shoulder, no traction.
My personal interest lies in solving the mystery.
If anyone believes he or she has the formula, I'm willing to bet $100 on it. We'll go somewhere and put it to the test. Ultimately it's real-life results that have the last say.
I don't go by what women say they want, just as I don't go by what men say they want. From what little we know about attraction, we know that it isn't a cerebral or linguistic or even conscious affair.
I am a believer in the idea that immediate attraction may ultimately reduce to a mere gesture, a look, a smell, a prosodic voice element, an eye movement, a facial flush, a colour, an angle. Who knows...
Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at January 13, 2008 8:32 PM
today122 - Yes, you raise a valid point. My answer to this is my favourite saying, feel the fear and do it anyway.
Posted by: stratus65 at January 13, 2008 8:31 PM
stratus
Just looked........that is way too neat and tidy,grammar and spelling all correct (what are you thinking ?), and the photo is not nearly blurry enough. Have you got a dodgy one of you in the half dark or something ?
Hehe..........wouldnt you just fall right off your chair if it worked better for you ??
This could be interesting..........
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 8:30 PM
Mstingle
Thankyou so much for your lovely words. I do try and keep out of a lot of the blogs but it is fun writing down how you feel so yes I will continue to join in. You also seem like a lovely person and also do have a great profile. Lets hope by June 2008 we have all found what we are looking for. (thanks again U2)
PS Good luck fish I hope she is a good catch
Posted by: jaspercat at January 13, 2008 8:22 PM
stratus - introspection - yep point taken. But the thinking and talking and analysing can be used as an excuse for not getting out there and living. And we can beat ourselves up, by wondering what is "wrong" with us that we're still single.
willow - be interested to hear your thoughts on this little pandora's box.
and good on you, neuroticfish. thought we'd spied a little softer fish breaking out there.
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 8:21 PM
Good as done, :) I'll change it during the week and let you know the progress. Have changed the profile since you last saw it, been up for almost a week, time for a change.
Posted by: stratus65 at January 13, 2008 8:07 PM
stratus, now that might be worth a try............the perfect profile approach isn't doing it, it seems ! Some of the errors I collected earlier were from the top 100 so maybe they have something !!
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 8:05 PM
How to read what the personal ads don't say .......weeding out the liars is like spotting the bad egg in a healthy dozen.............suss out the married men, commitment-phobes and other bad bets......spot the tell-tale clues in men's online dating profiles...... for "romantic" read "looks better by candlelight," for "widow" read "drove husband to shoot himself"... you get the idea........... you need to read between the lines of the personals. In some cases it could save you from entanglement with a rebounder who only wants his ex back, an online dating addict who'll dump you the moment a better prospect lands in his inbox - or a man who forgot to mention his wife.
Online dating offers cheats a handy cloak of anonymity, because online, no-one can hear you scream. That is, no-one can hear you scream "sorry love, I'm just on Google" to the missus while you're cyber-flirting with some poor lass who thinks you're young, free, single and her perfect match. wife and their three young kids.
Apparently most online daters do fib, but the fibs are surprisingly innocuous. Online fibbers "shed" an average six pounds from their weight, boosted their height by an average one-third of an inch and shaved five months off their age. Not exactly wholesale self-editing.
But bad apples, liars and cheats are out there, and it's worth polishing your man-radar to suss them out before they enter your offline life. Here are a few frequent offenders and some tips on spotting them.
1. The married man
Clue number one is the absence of a photo on his profile. If a married man is fishing for extra-curricular activity, he's hardly going to bait his hook with a pic of his grinning mug. Also hear warning bells if he's only included one photo that's so fuzzy or far away that even his mother wouldn't know him.
His profile may be short and devoid of much information about his occupation, location, what he likes to do at the weekend - in fact he'll manage to write a whole profile without saying much at all. If you start emailing, he'll ask you plenty of questions but will cannily avoid answering yours. He'll probably want to meet up before you've even swapped a couple of messages, and he'll ask for your phone number but not give you his. Avoid at all costs.
2. The serial online dating addict
Also known as "professional online dater", this weasel is basically a broadband version of the traditional commitment-phobe.
To ensure that you reach your next birthday with some self-esteem intact, avoid the serial online dating addict (we'll call him SODA) by spotting clues such as a profile photo that's overly suggestive or narcissistic, a profile that lacks detail about his interests and dreams, and a very broad remit for his ideal match.
3. The dating computer gamer
This chap has no intention of ever meeting you in real life, he just likes playing games online. Like other computer gamers, he'll happily stay up all night getting lost in his own little world - except that he's playing with real people.
Fantasists create profiles that bear little relation to reality. Watch out for bizarre inconsistencies and profile pics that look much younger than the age they claim to be. Chances are it's not of him at all. Also watch out for emails that are clearly cut n' paste jobs that he's dispatched to countless women on the same site. Fun for him; tedious for us.
4. The wounded dumpee
Dating sites, like singles bars, are stuffed with people of both sexes who are "getting out there" after a break-up that they're far from over. Fall for one and you're cruising for an emotional bruising, because you'll never live up to the perfect ex.
Dumpees and bitter rebounders are often easy to spot, thanks to their addled compulsion to fill their profile with veiled references to their heartache and not-so-veiled criticisms of the ex. "I'm looking for a woman who won't slag off my CD collection and break my heart because she doesn't understand me" is not the cry of a man who needs healing by you, it's the yell of a bloke who needs to get over the past before he can play any part in your future.
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 8:01 PM
jenjen - just thinking I might make my next profile with all the common mistakes, wonder what type of response I'll get
Posted by: stratus65 at January 13, 2008 7:54 PM
And we have the sence to be hear lurking for intelegent people
Posted by: stratus65 at January 13, 2008 7:48 PM
Yes it's all a bit of a worry hey stratus :)
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 7:50 PM
There have been some great responses to my earlier post. I have tried to reply but alas RSVP gave me the sign-in trouble so many of you have spoken about.
There is some seriously good thinking going on here.
Posted by: willow1059 at January 13, 2008 7:49 PM
woodnwine at January 13, 2008 7:38 PM
And we have the sence to be hear lurking for intelegent people
Posted by: stratus65 at January 13, 2008 7:48 PM
Unusual/funny quotes from women's profiles:
"Reading: Life is to (sic) short to be wasting it on reading."
Opening line: "I am blonde blue eyed and very busty."
"Music: A bit of this & that."
"like the quiet times to mediate (sic) & get closer to nature."
"Can handle a bagging session and will give back what I get."
"Music: wide variety. Sport: all sports. Movies: all movies."
No photo and entire profile entry consists of: "Well, let us get to know eachother, be happy together. " No catagories filled in.
These are all true.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 13, 2008 7:38 PM
Posted by: mstingle at January 13, 2008 7:22 PM
Good thinking 99, anything for a good giggle.............
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 7:30 PM
neuroticfish at January 13, 2008 6:48 PM
This may be the case.
Posted by: mstingle at January 13, 2008 7:29 PM
by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 6:39 PM
I am not sure if I am thinking of what you are thinking B1, but we could all go to a cricket match and get all the RSVP males streak across the cricket pitch, one by one:)
Posted by: mstingle at January 13, 2008 7:22 PM
today122 at January 13, 2008 5:52 PM
Your point was valid.
Posted by: mstingle at January 13, 2008 7:17 PM
: today122 at January 13, 2008 5:32 PM
Good response.
Posted by: mstingle at January 13, 2008 7:12 PM
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 13, 2008 12:54 AM
Aw shucks, to you too, Bob, seems it is! You'll do very nicely. Pack your bags and head on South! Grilled cheese sandwiches produced on demand.
Posted by: ninaschen at January 13, 2008 7:11 PM
There are also some very talented and aware women on this site, let alone on the blogs.
I am literally stunned at the quality and incredible achievements of someone I have recently been contacted by.
If in the past I may have seen to be a bit disparaging of online womanhood I take it all back. Now if I may spend a few months eating humble pie, collecting, indexing and shelving all my baggage, maybe it might all fit into one of those self storage units, and gaze in absolute amazement as Google brings up 50 pages of personal achievements for an absolutely wonderful piece of femininity
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 13, 2008 7:07 PM
willow1059 at January 13, 2008 4:59 PM
Good post. Why are we single, well can't talk for everyone. Some of us may choose to be single and that is okay. The problem comes when we think we have to be with someone or we are devoid, why? It is obvious to me howevr that there are many of us that want to be in a relationship but through life experiences has made us who we are. Some people will we too wary and miss out othes will get into relationships too soon and it wont last.
This is the thing we are all different and to find a partner makes it so difficult because of those differences.
I chose not to worry about it too much, the dating thing that is and finding mr right. This is good becuase I am not pressing myself into anything. Therefore I sit comfortably living my life and hey if one day that I decide that someone is right for me and in the reverse, boy I am going to have the time of my life.
For me until that time comes the difficulty is choosing acquaintances and friends to spend the time with while I wait for mister 'right for me'.
Next week I am setting of on an adventure that I should have taken myself of onto, that is long over due. For me this is the most important thing for me at the moment.
So just take one step at a time and enjoy the ride.
Posted by: mstingle at January 13, 2008 7:02 PM
willow1059 at January 13, 2008 4:59 PM
There are some very talented and/or aware people sitting here in RSVP bloggsville. Now, why are we single?
Interesting points raised, for me, I do know that there is a woman just waiting for me to find them, and this is one place that I am searching. I am a person who is comfortable with who I am, and have by choice remained single for some time now, as that particular one has not surfaced. Am I too fussy, too particular, I do not think so, why should I pursue a relationship that I know that has no future. I do seek a person who is like minded, one that sees beyond what is seen, hence my tongue in cheek attitude.
If I do not find who I am looking for here, so be it, I will not be banging my head up against a wall wondering what is wrong with me.
today122 at January 13, 2008 5:52 PM
Introspection is fine, unless you are constantly giving yourself a hard time, which I see many people do, it is only ourselves that we know, once we realise this, we become a friend to ourselves, and then anything that anybody says or thinks about us is irrelevant.
Just a thought - like attracts like.
Posted by: stratus65 at January 13, 2008 6:51 PM
“love dies and so do people”
Bloke I know died of cancer at age 42.
Didn’t tell his wife, didn’t want to worry her, just got his affairs in order, but for the last few years of the marriage she was a complete asshole to him.
After his death she ended up in a mental institution for ages, filled with bitter self recrimination.
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 13, 2008 6:48 PM
jaspercat at January 13, 2008 3:32 PM
You come across generally as a very friendly person and as everyone else you usually contribute and it is very much welcome. Please join in with the rest of us, my post was an opinion of mine, which I felt like expressing. There are often posts for what ever reason may not sit well with others, I am not the exception, not everyone will like what I have to say.
Then there are post that seem really negative, that is their problem and I will sit quiet, I only have problems when some one attacks another person out right.
So believe me if I am aware of it and someone attacks you also, I will speak up. Is it my business or anyone elses? hell yes because the blogs are there for us all to read.
So Jaspercat you like anyone else keep contributing, we all appreciate hearing about others walk in the life of a single; talk about the good things and talk about the bad things and we will all learn together. Just let us not attack one another.
Hey Jaspercat your doing well, you have a good profile and a friendly picture and I am sure that the right partner is out there for you if that is what you want. So don't get hung up on anyone elses problems, just deal with your own.
Posted by: mstingle at January 13, 2008 6:44 PM
hehe NF - a flash (sorry) of inspiration !!
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 6:39 PM
ODE. If you want to increase your exposure to women, streak in front of the cameras at the next cricket test. It’s the only time they watch the cricket, then they ring Channel 9 up for instant replays
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 13, 2008 6:23 PM
it's ok - I'll just sit here talking to myself.
now - Posted by: willow1059 at January 13, 2008 4:59 PM
Now, why are we single?
Without doubt, this question needs to be addressed by all of us. Only by self-examination, introspection, honesty, empathy and compassion within and without can we resolve this dilemma.
I think there is can also be such a thing as too much introspection and insight. Thinking and talking and sorting ourselves out rather than actually getting out there and living.
We sit here talking about how hard it is to meet people, giving each other pats on the back, and doing it genuinely, gain insight into others, while we communicate in our little virtual world. Do we expect all our problems to go away because we TALK about it? Are we all too gun shy to actually go out there and take a risk? We've all been hurt, maybe know how not to do it, but do we know what it is that we do want or how to get it?
Is sitting on RSVP waiting and finding fault and excuses the reason we're still single? Are we using our singledom to dictate our state and stop us from getting on with our lives as whole people?
and - maybe fortune does favour the brave, but how brave are we?
disclaimer - not necessarily talking about me (oh dear) and definitely not talking about anyone else, just general thoughts. and I hope this isn't seen as too harsh by some.
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 5:52 PM
jen - candidates???
and I always wanted to be a void filler - where do I apply for that one?
now - is someone going to post the braindancer profile - that's the best!
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 5:35 PM
No ODE.
1. - women are NOT a mystery. I really do not understand why it is so hard!!
and no 2. well you started these dot points - your cynicism is not as well hidden as you may hope. Anyone with obvious intelligence and a way with words who quotes the Secret (shudder) in the middle of the classics is not as simple as he hopes to appear. Just my thoughts.
And - to have hope in the human condition is not to be a fool, sorry Mr Camus, but is trying to improve the human condition, for fear of sounding like mr chicken soup himself.
Just my ten cents worth
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 5:32 PM
notgodsgift
Regarding the couple of points you made:
1. analysis - I'm in the habit of banging my head up against walls trying to figure out women. This often leads to paralysis by analysis. Glad I'm not the only one. Another figure of pop psychology had the following to say: "We know less about the sexual life of little girls than of boys. But we need not feel ashamed of this distinction; after all, the sexual life of adult women is a 'dark continent' for psychology."
2. pop psychology - hehe. Pop psychology sells, mate. Keep in mind that one of my reasons for posting here is to increase my exposure to women. Rest assured that behind the veneer of positivity, optimism, warmth, and The Secret- or Chicken Soup-style ramblings, there is a level of cynicism, bitterness, and pain that you may understand and relate to. Tucked away in my profile is the fact that I am an Albert Camus fan, first and foremost. "He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hope for the human condition is a fool."
Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at January 13, 2008 4:59 PM
SSC and others, the problem of whether to buy stamps, how many, how long they last and why waste them on people that do not respond haunts all of us.
Without wanting to plug the RSViP option it does solve the problem in part. By paying (yes, more money) the stamps last as long as the membership.
As many of us has discovered finding the special person can be very difficult, I have found this to be a worthwhile add-on when you consider the other features in the package.
Now NF (perhaps some others) I suspect you may think conspiracy theory here, So I shall say in advance I am not employed, bribed or in any other way associated with RSVP.
I am just a member like the rest of you. By the way, I enjoyed the poetry and other enlightened pursuits last night. There are some very talented and/or aware people sitting here in RSVP bloggsville. Now, why are we single?
Without doubt, this question needs to be addressed by all of us. Only by self-examination, introspection, honesty, empathy and compassion within and without can we resolve this dilemma.
I suspect I may have set myself up for a lot of missiles to be fired my way with this post, it is a return to psychology that ODE and others have pursued over the past few days.
Oh well, fortune favours the brave. Time to hit enter.
Posted by: willow1059 at January 13, 2008 4:59 PM
Mstingle - I know and normally I do and as you might realise I dont really write much on the blogs but I have got over it - I had to get it off my chest and yes we are entitled to our opinions so I suppose when you write on something like this you do open yourself up to it.
Posted by: jaspercat at January 13, 2008 3:32 PM
jaspercat at January 13, 2008 1:57 PM
If you don't like his posts just scroll past when you see his name, I don't think trhowing granades at him is going to help.
Well all know he posts some interesting post, at times, putting nicely.
I do not have a go at someone if they say things that irritate me unless of course they are directing there insults at me and you know this for sure when they name you then have nasty things to say directly to you.
Well all have our oppinions I suupose and this is yours
Posted by: mstingle at January 13, 2008 3:17 PM
jaspercat at January 13, 2008 12:31 PM
NF may have, but it is up to him to worry about.
Posted by: mstingle at January 13, 2008 3:06 PM
I have yet, ever, to receive so much as a Valentine's Day card from past lovers..they all, it seems, thought it silly and assumed that I (practical soul that I can be) felt the same way. In a way I do, but it niggles. If someone gives you a card or gift because it is expected, then I wouldn't place much value on it...but to get one spontaneously because the person wants to acknowledge appreciation, fantastic! Just never happened to me!
:>(
Posted by: lamuse at January 13, 2008 2:49 PM
Candidates? 30-35 and slim good luck to him if he is 47....they'll be looking past him in a hurry :)
I can't believe he put Candidates!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 13, 2008 2:46 PM
Well put thelynathdiary and sorry if you think I am coming down hard on you fish but just trying to understand
Posted by: jaspercat at January 13, 2008 2:16 PM
Lord of the Ring ,you romantic fool!
The love has survived with or without the ring..you are living proof!
"Let us live in such a way that when we die our love will survive, and continue to grow" Leunig.
Posted by: thelynathdiary at January 13, 2008 2:13 PM
Hey wishful..........here are some more from the first six I looked at.....
a little old fashion………………..drag out those old clothes
no more politically correctness…………..oh, ok
Inteligent………….are you serious ??
I am not going say that I am the greatest guy and the one you are looking for…………moving right along then
looking for miss perfect but as we are not in a perfect world will just have to compromise…………….not with this chicky babe
Looking to fill a void in my life…………..this chicky babe doesn’t do voids either
Hey this is fun !!
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 2:02 PM
Love dies and so do people??? quoted by fish....why dont you just give up now? I hate being harsh but I just dont understand how you can be looking for someone with such a very hard and very very cold outlook on relationships. I will let you in on a little secret fish we have ALL been hurt and we have all been pulled through the emotional ringer called RSVP but if you have given up on love - why are you here. Sorry I normally keep quite with some of the blogs but this makes me quite frustrated with you.....and I will also let you in on another secret - girls give Valentines as well and I certainly dont think of them as wasted money....
Posted by: jaspercat at January 13, 2008 1:57 PM
neurotic.........of course we are not saying the exchanging of metal tokens is a bad thing.
Family momentos such as the one you have can be very emotionally valuable and important.
Its just the mindless shopping that I dislike.
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 1:49 PM
Hmmmm valentines day, an opportunity for some more obsecene commercialism and overspending by the masses, overheating the economy and pushing interest rates up.
But I do sympathise with you NF.........what IS a boy to do?? Off to Michael Hills with you then. Dont want any dead fish..........
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 1:44 PM
I don’t want to harp on this. But as a family historian I am the (temporary) custodian of a ring given by my 5X great grandfather to his wife in Ireland in 1807, inscribed “with love” and their initials. Now if he had given her a rose, would it have survived to this day?
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 13, 2008 1:43 PM
What are you lot all talking about. Any bloke who forgets valentine’s day is DEAD MEAT. You don’t survive. Law of the jungle. Women know what valentine’s day means and women also know that if a bloke ignores it he is a L-O-S-E-R. so you choose how you want to play it. I have always chosen jewellery and have done so for the last 120 years of my earthly existence. It’s just a personal thing. flowers die, love dies and so do people. Restaurant meals- well what makes that stand out from any other date? A lot of blokes are uncomfortable giving jewellery except when they have to (like engagement, wedding, anniversary etc) valentine’s day gives a bloke a legitimate excuse to load a woman’s jewellery box up till it’s stuffed full, no queasiness, no qualms.
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 13, 2008 1:26 PM
On topic (now there's a change for me), I was just doing a spot of "window shopping" while having a cup of tea....and here's a couple of things that irked me:
BLAH BLAH BLAH - okay - intelligent conversation is obviously out for that person.
"Yep I read, motorcycle magazines in the "throne" room is about the limit. Now doesn't that inspire us all (females) to rush around and check out the bathroom. Do we NEED to know you read in the bathroom?
Laid back: How many profiles do we see with "I'm really laid back with GSOH" - I'm beginning to think Brisbane is so laid back it's almost horizontal (not a bad thing on second thoughts)...still boring as the proverbial.
"My friends say I'm a good guy" - no kidding - that's what we have friends for!
"I look young for my age" - really? Just how old SHOULD you look? Who judges this? (Now there is a job I'd like). A bit of grey in the hair can be a very sexy thing.
"I'm best friends with my ex", well that's nice, but not a profile seller for a potential new partner.
Headline that said "Don't stop, nothing to see here, move on" - so I did.
"Will-educated profesionnal" - I kid you not!
"I'm looking for a fiend" - hmmm.
And that was just in the first few "windows"...
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 13, 2008 1:26 PM
He's probably no more disillusioned than the rest of us ...just more openly so
Posted by: abckenny at January 13, 2008 1:00 PM
Today122, I'm thinking after we've all had a "look" she'd have plenty of views and probably wondering why so popular at the moment.
Valentines Day - nothing like a Hallmark Holiday. Just another excuse for florists to make a fortune, jewellers to rub their hands with glee and the miserable people to feel even worse. Personally I'm more excited about the Hot Cross buns being in the store 2 months early.
Tinman, I took a "peek" at your profile. It really does show you off well, but I'm not sure if it's my computer or if the primary photo is a bit blurry (could be my eyes). Also, as with other comments, it's very hard to read one long paragraph. What you could do, to save yourself time and effort is copy and paste it into a word document, let word help you with spelling (and we all know how fussy we are about that!), and a few paragraph breaks. I really like that you coach the netball team!
NF - at least you gave gifts, that has to count for something.
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 13, 2008 12:57 PM
I am wish you Jenjen I think he has a lot in the past to get over before he can get on with it? What do you think?
Posted by: jaspercat at January 13, 2008 12:31 PM
mmm - WnW - wonder how many views this person has got.
Ah - but is mystery that we're all looking for? how much is too much?
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 12:19 PM
and NF - you do realise that you're setting yourself up as a challenge to some of the more - ah - foolhardy women around?
And no - not wanting a valentine.
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 12:16 PM
bah humbug - valentines day - another marketing exercise by florists and cheap jewellers to make people feel guilty and let them off the hook for the next 364 days.
recycle away NF, good for the soul and the environment. and if it's thrown at you, well it's only a well deserved flesh wound.
I was given a gold bracelet a couple of years ago for VD day, promptly dumped a week later. oh well it eased his conscience or something. I wouldn't have given him the satisfaction of throwing it anywhere near him. cash converters anyone??
The only jewellery I trust is that given to me by my mates and my girls
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 12:13 PM
Today122 : No I dont mind at all, If I knew what I was dooing I probably wouldnt be here haha. Thanks for the advice I will have a think and adjust it a bit tonight
slightsynchronicity : Just a big thank you for you :)
Posted by: thetinman68 at January 13, 2008 12:01 PM
Valentines’ Day- by a quirky idiosyncratic neurotic and total non expert
How long do you expect your true love to last?
Restaurant meal- first visit to the loo and that’s it, she’s hungry again.
Roses- dead within a week and so are you.
Jewellery- when she’s kicked you out, she generally tends to keep and maybe, 10 years down the track, when she’s suffered emotional trauma, mental breakdown, pain and suffering (caused by her inability to recognise a good thing when she was on to it) she gets it out and remembers how great you (transitorily) were.
And if she is reading this, no, I don’t want it back. I’m too busy pressing my Green Credentials at the moment (all in the cause of science, mind you)
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 13, 2008 11:46 AM
MMFU..we need to move on I am sure, sorry i think today122 was right. Jens was more about family I think? Oh well songs can affect people also can't they? Don't know if you are hiding on here, as it is a kind of community. It is a way to get some RSVPers. Am not actively looking right now and my profile states so and I also like the blog. No shame in blogging or being on RSVP and yes it is useful to make friends as Jewels wrote, and if we meet the One, well that is a bonus!
NF: As the ultimate romantic, you will surely give the whole blog some pre Valentine's Day advice? Isn't it better to give a gift and not regret it? (Not a man, so can't empathise with a man) To give and not regret....or does a man feel used when that occurs? One year down the track, and its a new year! Could you just try one long-stemmed rose? It may be better this year. Oh and I do not wish to be recycled, I should leave here sometime. Hope I do not get reincarnated as a blog moderator.
The post about the old lady's taxi ride and also abckenny's post were very human. Thanks to both of you.
Posted by: thetinman68 at January 13, 2008 11:04 AM
thetinman68: your profile is very descriptive with natural photos of you doing things you love. Way to go and should inspire some of us. It comes across as very upbeat and interesting. Good on ya!
Enjoy your day everyone..
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 13, 2008 11:21 AM
As an environmentally conscious, whale naming, tree hugging, climate change conscript, Green Party voting, throw myself in front of logging bulldozer veteran of Terania Creek and other great landmark battles of this century, if you recycle everything else, including most of the occupants of this site, there is no logical prohibition or inhibition, surely to recycling prior valentines day gifts. More likely to get them thrown back in the face tho
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 13, 2008 11:15 AM
hi tinman
That's really opening yourself up - asking for advice!
May I suggest - smaller sentences, more paragraphs. It's not easy to read when it's all in together. It needs breaks so the person reading can focus on things. What you say though is really nice and genuine, just a bit hard to read.
I really hope you don't mind.
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 11:13 AM
jenjen-yes it can be challenging with some unusual situations evolving, as happened to me last night in fact.
A few months ago I received an email. He seemed nice enough, but I wasn't THAT taken with him. We emailed back & forth a few times, but it never advanced to the phone call. I quickly forgot about him until lastnight, when I was out with friends and was introduced to him.
He was gorgeous in person and a prime example that his profile didn't do him justice. Neither of us mentioned our prior communication.
Has any one else had this happen ?
Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 13, 2008 11:11 AM
jenjen - I think what we are is NOT transitory, sadly. sob sob
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 11:09 AM
Hi bloggers. I would be quite happy if you had a look at my profile and gave me some contructive criticism. At the moment it has been written with what I thought would indicate how I am. Thanks
Posted by: thetinman68 at January 13, 2008 11:04 AM
FP - thank you. Yours too.
Online dating is proving to be more of a challenge than I thought it would.
I fear we are all becoming a bit transitory because there are just soooo many of us here.
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 10:46 AM
Jenjen57 @ 8.31 Jan 13-great post with excellent advice.
Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 13, 2008 10:42 AM
is it a goodie(poem)?
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 13, 2008 10:16 AM
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 13, 2008 1:31 AM
MMFU..hi, it made me shed a tear when I found it, as I felt like reading poetry. Probably better to go to a book or a poet you know. 1.31am last night I posted it, expecting it to be swept away. Once I read a horrendous original poem on a mans profile who contacted me. So be careful with that sort of thing apparantly.
today122: ditto
Posted by: junebaby57 at January 13, 2008 8:46 AM
thanks and I use prepaid mobile but hey... I have to get a new phone for work. Name changes...the helpful customer service people should know or trawl through the FAQ's : ( a blogger should know instead of waiting. How about something with Jewels in it..though your name is catchy and clickable. I cant spell mine sometimes.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 13, 2008 10:37 AM
SSC
again i have stuffed up,,,,,,,,as i wipe a tear from my eye's, the poem you layed down for us to view, reminded me of lost family. i thx you for posting it. i know you are not the author , just a messenger. thx hun alan.
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 13, 2008 10:29 AM
SS. I am very romantic. I never said romance was dead. Why, don’t you realise that Valentine’s Day is only a month away. I wonder if I could get back what I wasted on wastrels last year and recycle some of it. It was only jewellery anyway. See. I am the ULTIMATE ROMANTIC
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 13, 2008 6:32 AM
Ok, yes I do know Valentines Day is coming up and got invited to a Valentine's Day party with a live band on New Years Eve..so yes I am thinking ahead. Perhaps you might find some of your romantic trinkets on e-bay and bid them back. Karma though at least you gave. I must have got confused due to postings about relationships and feelings of women vs (some) guys just wanting sex and assumed. We all know about assuming. Ok romanticneuroticfish you say are the ultimate romantic - good for you then : ) Valentine's Day could be every day though for a couple not once a year.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 13, 2008 10:27 AM
SSC - no no no - don't apologise, it was lovely, just hard to read those sometimes.
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 10:26 AM
SSC
lol we have you now, its in black and white, is it a goodie(poem)?
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 13, 2008 10:16 AM
today122: the poem does not reflect my views it is just a poem, a bit OTT I suppose. (but I liked it) Yes we do live now and some poetry in profiles can be a bit much I noticed. Have you ever seen a giant poem in a mans profile?
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 13, 2008 10:14 AM
SSC and jen - too much sad poetry, looking back. aren't we supposed to be living for now and looking forward?
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 9:11 AM
today122: sorry, it was the wee small hours with jen, bob and me the only ones up, I think...and I thought it would get broomed. Reading poetry reminds me of poems I have. Really thought they would swipe it. Come on moderators can you at least remove the poem I posted!!!!!!!
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 13, 2008 10:12 AM
Femalepersuasion.
just read your last post very interesting, so i went and had a look see, roflmao, i open your profile,nicely worded, you have a password lock on your main photo,BUT, then photos 2,3,4 we can see,,, lol who stuffed up?
Not saying you did or did you?
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 13, 2008 10:10 AM
Why a Profile is Important to Men:
1) Men have choices. - Yes, we're impossibly shallow. Still, if there are 80 women in my demographic area that are attractive, I'm not going to write to all of them. In fact, any guy with standards (meaning: the guy you want to meet) is going to be pretty choosy. So who do you think he's going to write to? The woman who "likes to laugh", who "wants a man, not a boy", and "hates the liars and the games"? Or the unique woman who has a one-of-a-kind essay?
2) Your profile is revealing – Men pay for your dates. And if reading between the lines will save us $75, your profile is the best investment ever. Are your essays three lines long? You don't sound like interesting dinner conversation. Are your essays like a Dickens novel? Perhaps you need a deaf-mute for a boyfriend. Have you gone negative and talked about what you hate about men and online dating? Thank you. You've just saved me a few hours of my life.
3) Your profile gives us our opening line. Every man has agonized over this. Some hot woman posts a picture and literally writes NOTHING interesting in her profile. And while we can't resist taking a shot at her, we are paralyzed. Without a personal essay, we have no idea what to say to you. You can't complain that we talk about your looks if you didn't give us anything else to work with.
4) Your value goes up – Simply put, the best men – the men who are interesting, successful, quirky, and worldly – CARE about what you have to say. And if your profile is just a list of adjectives and activities, Mr. Right can certainly find a woman who seems to bring more to the table.
Why a Profile Is Important to Women:
1) Women have choices – Men often forget that the most attractive woman are written to by EVERY SINGLE GUY on the website. So if she's got every man to choose from, why would he choose you, Mr. "I look good for my age and I really know how to treat a woman"? Unless you're bringing some serious wit and wisdom to your essays, you don't stand a snowball's chance in hell.
2) Your profile is revealing –You can be the guy who talks about how he's "looking for a fit woman". You can be the guy "who works hard and plays hard". You can be the guy who states that he's "smart and funny" without ever proving it. But if you sound like everyone else, you're only going to get 1 out of 200 women to write back. Show that you're witty, self-deprecating, interesting and looking for a relationship, and watch your success ratio rise astronomically.
3) Your value goes up – A man who takes the time to write something interesting is the kind of man who remembers your birthday, pays his income taxes, and asks about your parents. A man who can't be bothered to explain why he's different and wants to be in love is probably not that different and probably doesn't want to be in love that bad.
4) Really. Women have LOTS of choices – Great profiles attract the right people to write to you, and compel others to respond to your emails. That's how powerful the written word can be.
Posted by: femalepersuasion at January 13, 2008 9:50 AM
mm4u - yes I feel safe in here too.........it can be very scarey "out there" :)
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 9:47 AM
Morning everyone.
And hiding in in the blogs probably isnt going to help either :)
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 8:31 AM
But jen i feel safe here lolol, plus even though it does take time, you ppl don't snob me, not saying that you would,;))
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 13, 2008 9:42 AM
today122
Yep, seems they have better things to do on weekends than worry about what we are up to in here :)
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 9:36 AM
are the moderators taking the weekend off?
I don't think anything's been deleted. so maybe we can sneak some more mutinous rubbish in here while they're not looking
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 9:16 AM
hi all
SSC and jen - too much sad poetry, looking back. aren't we supposed to be living for now and looking forward?
Janet & Henry - nah, I reckon they look more like Abigail and Nelson - much more exciting than old Gordy and Bezza.
and jen - good points there. If you seem embarassed about online dating, that it's all a bit beneath you, what does that say about the potential mates? I've been contacted by men who seem to think that it's a job application - with me having to meet some unknown criteria and live up to their benchmarks or whatever other HR tech speak you can think of. So - no fixed list, big turn off.
And jen - there is nothing wrong with blogging!!! you're not hiding!
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 9:11 AM
Morning Jewels............yes hot x buns, we have been buying them for 2 weeks, yummmmm.
I think junebaby suits you ! Dont change it :)
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 9:00 AM
morning all in blogland
have you guys seen that easter buns are already in the shops....and that is way after Valentines day!!!
NF how can you recyle Valentines day gifts, unless you were an indian giver?????
SScity, re the stamps, you can only get 6 in a book, unless you use the mobile phone service - apparently there is some deal there to get 1 at a time. I don't do the mobile contacting as I don't think my boss would appreciate dating costs on my bill...my boss pays my mobile phone bill as I use it for work....sometimes!!!!
I have bought 2 books of stamps in the last 2 months, and used them for contacting, bloggers, mostly, I only used a couple on dates!!!!!
If I can't find the "one", I will have fun with friends!!!!!
Re choosing a profile name, there are so many thoughtful names out there, with lovely meanings, loved willow's, stratus, ninaschen and dolphin. Mine is boring, bon in june and the year...might have to change it to something that will grab people!!!!
How do you change your profile name??????
Have a lovely sunday all...jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at January 13, 2008 8:46 AM
Things you should definitely leave out of your profile.................
1. Past Relationship Experiences
While it’s okay to mention what you’ve learned from past relationships, don’t ever go on and on about the way your ex treated you or anything of that resemblance. The more positive you are in your profile, the more positive people will think you are in real life - and everyone wants to date someone positive, right?
2.’Players Stay Away’
Nothing turns people off more than direct instructions of who should and who should not contact you. While you may think you are just stating what you don’t want, it comes across as slightly ignorant. Rather, state what you are looking for.
For example, state that you are at the point in your life where you’re ready to make a good commitment if the right person comes along. This then let’s others know what type of relationship you’re there for.
3. Previous Mental Health Issues
Not that you should tell porkies but this issue is one for face to face.
4 .A List Of Requirements
State what you are looking for and why those qualities are important to you. Just don’t make it come across as if someone does match everything you want to an exact ‘T’, they shouldn’t contact you. Do that and you’ll likely find a very empty inbox.
5.That You’re Embarrassed To Be There
This is just going to give others the impression that you think you’re ‘too good’, and they will be hesitant to contact you.
If someone is viewing you, they are using online dating as well, so there is no reason to be embarrassed.
6.That You Don’t Know What To Say
Lack of words will translate to lack of dates. No need to broadcast it. If you are having trouble, simply say a few words about yourself, your interests, and what you are looking for, or ask some of the bloggers for help..........some of them are just fabulous, hey ODE.
7.Your Annoying Habits
Like the mental health issue, if you have random, odd habits, it’s best to leave those out of the profile.
It’s better to emphasize your positive traits and what you will bring to a relationship.
8.Too Much ‘Blogging’
While it’s great to expand upon your interests, avoid writing your entire life story in your profile. You do want to leave some to the imagination.
9.That You Haven’t Had Much Success With The Site So Far
Stating that you haven’t had much success so far is likely not your best approach. Why broadcast that no one seems to want to date you? Don’t give members of the opposite sex a reason to think there is something wrong with you. Online dating is largely a numbers game and for most, it doesn’t happen over night.(OK but we dont really need to go on 10,000 dates do we ODE ??)
10.Too Much Past Info
While it’s great to list the basics, don’t talk too much about your past. Others reading your profile are concerned with the present and future because that is the time they will be a part of.
And hiding in in the blogs probably isnt going to help either :)
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 8:31 AM
SS. I am very romantic. I never said romance was dead. Why, don’t you realise that Valentine’s Day is only a month away. I wonder if I could get back what I wasted on wastrels last year and recycle some of it. It was only jewellery anyway. See. I am the ULTIMATE ROMANTIC
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 13, 2008 6:32 AM
slightsynchronicity at January 13, 2008 1:59 AM
I am pretty tired so I must go to bed especially when it comes to nearly mis Sreading what SCC posted at 1.59am, lol.
Posted by: mstingle at January 13, 2008 2:08 AM
NF did, misstingle
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 13, 2008 1:59 AM
Janet and Henry?
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 13, 2008 1:58 AM
slightsynchronicity at January 13, 2008 1:31 AM
And who said romance was dead.
Posted by: mstingle at January 13, 2008 1:57 AM
Really jenjen, must look him up then...very lovely lyrics!
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 13, 2008 1:50 AM
Feral Beryl and Gordon have left us, alas. Who are these two ?
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 1:50 AM
SSC
Me ? Heck no !! They are the lyrics to my favourite Alan Jackson song :)
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 1:47 AM
Oh great Bob, thanks for telling me...I shall wait till September then LOL!
No word for the day, then?
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 13, 2008 1:46 AM
Farout Jen, that is touching..found the Ravenz23 poem and a few others a few weeks ago when things were getting me down (very unusual).
did you write that one? ( its beautiful : )) Oh and at least I can not find Kahlil Gibram at the moment, my book its very moving the one I have. No idea if I need to snap out of the urge to read poetry occasionally. Had the urge to write it lately but it was prose. Ha ha, well its a hobby. Think I will retire and I should have watched Penn and Teller and the other thing but the TV was off tonight.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 13, 2008 1:44 AM
Hi SSC,
You get a single stamp for your birthday, but otherwise minimum of six.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 13, 2008 1:40 AM
Sue, this is one of my favourites......
Remember When........
Remember when I was young and so were you
and time stood still and love was all we knew
You were the first, so was I
We made love and then you cried
Remember when
Remember when we vowed the vows
and walked the walk
Gave our hearts, made the start, it was hard
We lived and learned, life threw curves
There was joy, there was hurt
Remember when
Remember when old ones died and new were born
And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged
We came together, fell apart
And broke each other's hearts
Remember when
Remember when the sound of little feet
was the music
We danced to week to week
Brought back the love, we found trust
Vowed we'd never give it up
Remember when
Remember when thirty seemed so old
Now lookn' back it's just a steppin' stone
To where we are,
Where we've been
Said we'd do it all again
Remember when
Remember when we said when we turned gray
When the children grow up and move away
We won't be sad, we'll be glad
For all the life we've had
And we'll remember when
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 1:39 AM
In the end, it doesn't matter, move on and stop beating yourself up about it.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 12, 2008 11:34 PM
True, we need to not beat up on ourselves and move on! What is the word for the day Bob..do you have anymore?
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 13, 2008 1:39 AM
ninaschen at January 12, 2008 10:14 PM
Agree I love 'Jenjen" it's a good name.
Posted by: mstingle at January 13, 2008 1:35 AM
Does anyone know if a person can buy one solitary stamp? 6 stamps is soooooooo many : ))
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 13, 2008 1:33 AM
This is from an online poetry site..will find it if anyone would like the address. Seeing as how it is poetry week or something.
Have I Ever
by Ravenz23
"Have I ever told you
that if I sit really still and silent,
sometimes. I like to think
I can hear your heart beating
in time with mine?
Have I ever told you
that when I watch you speak to me
through lines and cords,
and bytes and ram,
I imagine
your voice,
whispering into my ear?
Have I ever told you
that I wait out each day
in anticipation,
wanting
only an hour or two,
just a second in space and time,
to feel close to you?
Have I ever told you
that there has been times,
when I ached for you,
ached for you so badly,
that the emotions overwhelmed me..
and so I sat and cried?
Have I ever told you
that sometimes,
I will reach out,
touching your name
on this cold screen before me,
wishing
I could reach in
and pull you to me?
Have I ever told you
that after the first time I heard
the sound of your voice,
thousands of miles away,
I sat up all night,
turning the conversation over and over
in my mind,
examining it,
like some newly discovered species of flower?
Have I ever told you
that I would give everything up,
just for one night
to be able to lay near you,
to feel your chest rise and fall
with each breath you take,
just to know that you are real?
Have I ever told you
that I dream of you often,
I dream of you reaching out
and touching my hand,
simply to let me know
that you are there,
and everything is okay?
Have I ever told you,
have I still yet to tell you . . .
that I love you? "
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 13, 2008 1:31 AM
Hi JenJen,
OK, misuse of the word, but symptoms are the same. Bodywise, just want to fall down, but brain working like demon.
Wish I was maggoted in true urban dictionary sense; at least I could pass out.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 13, 2008 1:28 AM
graceandcharm at January 12, 2008 9:36 PM
Talking about 'Amazing Grace' has anyone seen the movie, the song has a different story or meaning than many have thought before. I love the movie about Wilberforce and other incredible people including the man that wrote the song about his involvement in slavery. Very moving and the song means even more to me now and for the right reason, now that I know the story behind it.
Posted by: mstingle at January 13, 2008 1:25 AM
Maggoted Bob ?
Surely not !
Maggoted - urban dictionary
When an individual becomes so drunk/stoned they cant feel themself and dont feel pain/ or just to the point where they pass out or throw up.
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 13, 2008 1:18 AM
Hi Today,
Was channel surfing and distracted by my conversation with the lovely ladies on the blogs tonight....is that too obvious; I'm tactful too!!
Now watching Rage...Countdown episodes are on; I am maggoted (have been for hours), but cant get to sleep.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 13, 2008 1:08 AM
Bob
Waking the Dead's on straight before Penn & Teller. British cold case drama.
Sue - shame about that film. I thought it was supposed to be really good - 5 stars in the paper. shame. I saw Atonement today - loved it.
Hope you enjoy Andy Warhol. Interesting exhibition.
And Brisbane bloggers meet soon - if you're interested please contact jenjen57.
cheers
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 12:57 AM
Sue4Uyou,
About the age thing; I think that most guys accept that women are reluctant to divulge their correct age - nothing wrong with that at all. The key is to be able to carry off the age you say you are.
What do the ladies think off this - I wont ask the guys, I already know the answer judging by the advice. Personally, I have no problem with that, someone will appeal to you or not - ignorance is bliss!!
Nina,
Humourous, intelligence, compassion.....aw, shucks Nina, thats me......whoops didn't see alive, just got a whiff of myself......must have died about 6 hours ago.....better get in that shower now!!!
Back to cheese sandwich on silver platter...if that was John the Baptist....that would make you Salome....salacious and bodacious!!!
Today,
Didn't see it, was watching Penn and Teller, plus other crap whilst posting.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 13, 2008 12:54 AM
Sue - I posted this earlier on today. You're not alone.
what is it with these millions of sign in sign out attempts. RSVP - what is up with your software or your connections or whatever is going on? Are all your IT people on holidays or something? I don't know of any other website that has so many problems. Maybe you could spend some of the $10 per stamp you get to actually improve the service!!!
A friend of mine has been trying to access this website for the last couple of weeks, and can't even open it. And she's a member.
I wonder how long this little post will stay up - but please listen to us and do something about the service you're offering, or rather not offering.
Posted by: today122 at January 12, 2008 11:14 AM
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 12:48 AM
Nina and Bob
but did you watch Waking the Dead earlier? you're an hour ahead so the viewing time's all out of whack, but that has to be one of the best shows around. always very blood and guts, but Peter Boyd makes up for that.
Don’t know about cheese sandwiches and shrouds and crucifixion though.
Interesting juxtaposition – can that be the word for the day???
Third and counting attempt to post this
Posted by: today122 at January 13, 2008 12:47 AM
Seems you have all nodded off. I should too. Can you all come out and play again tomorrow night?
Posted by: ninaschen at January 13, 2008 12:35 AM
Thanks everyone for their comments. Will do some tweaking.
Have been reluctant to add to blogs previously as they all seem to disintegrate to a toxic level of personal insults.
Just been to see No Country For Old Men. Am I the only person who hated it? No reasonable plot, too much violence and no suspense. Very disappointed after all the good write ups.
Off to Andy Warhol tomorrow by myself.
Thanks again for taking the time to comment. Have a great 2008
By the way does it always take numerous attempts to sign in to submit something on the blogs?
Posted by: sue4you at January 13, 2008 12:33 AM
Hmm. Let me think. Someone with a sense of humour, intelligent, compassionate, breathing (did I say that aloud?) and quirky. I like quirky.
Posted by: ninaschen at January 13, 2008 12:30 AM
Nina,
If I put a cheese sandwich (with a head) on a silver platter, wont that be John the Baptist)?
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 13, 2008 12:19 AM
Bob the builder is a busy boy.
Posted by: graceandcharm at January 13, 2008 12:18 AM
G&C and Nina,
Importation......you will have to give me a few specifications, I couldn't just get you any old blokes.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 13, 2008 12:16 AM
He will be far too busy for all that G & C as he will be preparing my grilled cheese sandwich. On a silver platter please, Bob.
Posted by: ninaschen at January 13, 2008 12:12 AM
Well Bob, it seems you have lots of work ahead of you tomorrow with thinking of those new words, plus importation arrangements to consider.
Posted by: graceandcharm at January 13, 2008 12:04 AM
Nina,
Careful, you might be chewing on the saviour.....or is that savoury!!!
If you look really cloely at your clock......my god, it has a face.......praise the lord!!!
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 13, 2008 12:00 AM
Willow,
Touche!!!
Cant accept the word challenge because I do things in the moment, and Monday night was a great moment on RSVP.
I should be in a terrific mood at the moment laughing at Penn and Teller, my neighbours probably think they have a raving psycho next door judging from my laughter!!!
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 12, 2008 11:57 PM
I have a sudden craving for a grilled cheese sandwich, Bob.
Posted by: ninaschen at January 12, 2008 11:51 PM
Bob, psychology can really suck a person in. I knew you couldn't resist.
I did understand your thoughts, but will you accept the word challenge. I have noted the words perceived and insecurities in your post, however these are distant cousins to your earlier efforts of bodacious and salacious.
Posted by: willow1059 at January 12, 2008 11:45 PM
Hi guys,
Right off topic....turn on Channel 9...now...Penn and Teller, too funny
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 12, 2008 11:37 PM
Hi Willow,
Dont get me wrong, ODE's writing skills cannot be faulted and he says some good stuff (but then, so do some of our regular crazies until they revert to type, which is more the pity for them).
I just think (and its purely my thoughts) that we apply too much psychology to every aspect of life these days - we analyse every situation to the nth degree. "Why do people not respond to kisses" - what does it matter; it probably says more about your insecurities that you stress about this than it does about their perceived ignorance in not responding - god, now you have me doing it - but see what I mean? In the end, it doesn't matter, move on and stop beating yourself up about it.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 12, 2008 11:34 PM
Hmmmm, I think that we have been challenged, the exigency of which epigrammatic discussion will surely follow.
Posted by: stratus65 at January 12, 2008 11:32 PM
hi wishfulthinker, a new word a day for Bob. That is quite some task, perhaps a PR person will be needed for that. Are you listening RSVP moderator?
Posted by: willow1059 at January 12, 2008 11:31 PM
jenjen I hope Friends Without Faces is not pulled.
A beautiful story contained within
Your mind fresh and free
Far too good for the RSVP bin
There for all of us to see
Your effort I cannot equal
What will db2 make of this
Will there be a sequal
A story I shall not miss
Convey this talent in your profile
Letters and words to describe
Leave it there for a while
Offer no bribe
Posted by: willow1059 at January 12, 2008 11:26 PM
Ninaschen,you have made my night! I live in a metropolis compared to you! Bob, can you assist with importation for us 2 ladies?
Posted by: graceandcharm at January 12, 2008 11:22 PM
Come on Willow....one a day would be better!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 12, 2008 11:18 PM
Nina,
I didn't say you would get a whole lot of contacts, just better ones. Seeing the funny side of bad situations means that you have genuine humour; and a genuine (demonstrable) sense of humour draws us to people whom we want to be our friends (well, it does for me).
Think about the people you like at work or on social; whom are you drawn to, the serious, staid, deep one or the light-hearted, humourous one? You might like the other guy, but you dont want to hang around him too long otherwise he will drag you down.
G&C,
Yes, I do think that you are charming and yes, I do think that you are screwed - might need to import someone!!!
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 12, 2008 11:17 PM
Try a population of 17,585, GraceandCharm!
Now, now, Kenny. don't be concerned. Straightforward is appealing too!
Posted by: ninaschen at January 12, 2008 11:15 PM
Bob, I enjoy ODE's writing. He freely admits to not a lot of success with his profile and clearly has much of his life ahead of him to refine his thinking about love, relationships and life generally.
In some ways I find his unrestrained views refreshing to read if a little naive. Having said that, I hope I will still be naive to some degree until the day I die. It makes the world far more agreeable.
Yes, time will temper ODE's views to a more moderate perspective. I know I am very new to blogging but from what I have seen he is adept at avoiding personal conflict and the vicious barbs some have displayed here in previous days.
By the way, can we set you the ambitious challenge of a new word each week!
I suspect you may difficulty beating this weeks efforts.
Posted by: willow1059 at January 12, 2008 11:14 PM
Friends Without Faces
We sit and we type and we stare at our screens,
We can't help but wonder what all of this means.
With mouse in hand ...we roam through this maze,
On an infinite search...lost in a daze.
We chat with each other, we type all our woes
At times we'll band together to gang up on our foes.
We wait for somebody, to type out our name
We want recognition, but it is always the same.
Soon friendships are formed - but - why we don't know,
But some of these friendships, will flourish and grow.
We give kisses and hugs, and sometimes we'll flirt,
In IMs we chat deeply, and reveal why we hurt.
Why is it on screen, we are so easily bold,
Telling our secrets, that have never been told.
The answer is simple, it is as clear as a bell,
We all have our problems, and need someone to tell.
We can't tell real people, but tell someone we must
So we turn to our 'puters ...and to those we can trust.
Even though it sounds crazy...the truth still remains,
Most of my "friends" have no faces...and odd little names.
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 12, 2008 11:10 PM
No depth in mine ninaschen...simple as..abc
Posted by: abckenny at January 12, 2008 11:09 PM
Not at all Willow! I think your name conveys exactly what you intended. I love willow trees too (despite the fact they are the bane of our waterways). When I first saw a post from you, I immediately thought you were most likely a cricket fan, though! Nice to see there is a bit of romanticism behind the name too.
Yours is lovely too, Status. Nice to see such depth in the fellas!
Posted by: ninaschen at January 12, 2008 11:05 PM
Ninaschen, you too hey? I live in a town of 35,000 people....what are my chances ? !! (And some say Brissie is small). Suggestions Bob, please?
Posted by: graceandcharm at January 12, 2008 11:02 PM
"The name is intended to reflect a place of peace, serenity, enjoyment, love, fun and games, a place that is inviting, one where you would wish to stay."
Sounds like a place we'd all like to be - got room for a few Willow?
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 12, 2008 10:58 PM
You guarantee that Bob? Really? I might just hold you to that! Living in a rural area has a lot going for it but it can be the pits when it comes to meeting eligibles of the opposite sex. I reckon I could have the perfect profile and the perfect photos and I still wouldn't get much interest purely because I live outside the metro area.
Posted by: ninaschen at January 12, 2008 10:56 PM
MM4U, you left out THAT bit of information! Shame on you :)
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 12, 2008 10:52 PM
ninaschen I'm afraid the story behind my profile name of willow1059 is terribly boring.
Since you asked, I love cricket and cricket bats are made from willow. I enjoy the sight of willow trees by the river even if they are now considered environmentaly unfriendly. The name is intended to reflect a place of peace, serenity, enjoyment, love, fun and games, a place that is inviting, one where you would wish to stay.
The 1059 bit is pretty obvious as my month and year of birth. Needed that because just plain willow had been used by others in the past.
Sorry, it does seem somewhat lame compared to the others.
Posted by: willow1059 at January 12, 2008 10:51 PM
ninaschen,
for a short time I had another name, but I did not really relate to it anymore, so after sitting down looking out at the scenery I was thinking about what to use, the sun was almost set and there was a thin layer of cloud caught my eye, and the 65 is the year I was born.
Bob reminded me of what my father used to call me, it was a dutch name of which I later found out to mean little pile of sh*t. There was no way I was going to use that one!
Posted by: stratus65 at January 12, 2008 10:50 PM
Hi All,
I think that making light of your own failings and (mis)adventures is probably one of the most appealing aspects of anyone's character - whether written or spoken. Whilst I like ODE and some of the stuff he writes; some of it also smells suspiciously of pop psychology and the average cynic (like me) can see straight through it. My advice girls; be yourself and more like Braindancer in you approach to your experiences; that is far more appealing - and I guarantee you will meet far more guys that have their shit together.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 12, 2008 10:49 PM
And what is behind yours, Stratus?
Posted by: ninaschen at January 12, 2008 10:40 PM
How did you come up with your profile name, Willow?
Posted by: ninaschen at January 12, 2008 10:35 PM
and does anyone remember that book "fear of flying"?
Posted by: today122 at January 12, 2008 10:34 PM
I love that Braindancer - really clever and I bet a really successful profile.
And seraphsuzie - I'm not saying I don't like bright and chirpy people, or that there's anything wrong with us/them. All I'm saying is that so many profiles seem one dimensional and reveal very little of the actual person because they're all bright and chirpy and generic.
Posted by: today122 at January 12, 2008 10:32 PM
Thanks ninaschen about perspicacious. I hope RSVP doesn't pull the post, there were bits in it about profiles.
I was feeling challenged by not having a suitable word to go with Bob's bodacious, just needed the opportunity to drop it in somewhere.
Now a profile name of "Sh*thead" no doubt would struggle to survive the RSVP police. In the unlikely event it could I suspect it may attract some interest. It would be a wonderful experiment in censorship and for ODE to use in his ponderings about profiles.
So true stratus what you say about positive versus negative, accepting ourself and others. Associated with this is empathy, a wonderful skill, such a shame we do not practice it far more.
Posted by: willow1059 at January 12, 2008 10:28 PM
notgodsgift
Such a clever profile by Braindancer.......probably reflects how a lot of us feel sometimes .......do still wonder how it works for her !!
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 12, 2008 10:23 PM
Graceandcharms...that looks like a couple of profiles I read earlier!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 12, 2008 10:23 PM
re how i got my name,pls just check my profile pics and you will see why i came up with that. Was this or ,Harley-Davidson man, yes i am a biker, though i don't mention this in profile, oh well cats out of the bag now.
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 12, 2008 10:22 PM
graceandcharm.............that is so funny.........but I havent seen any profiles that bad (yet)............wonder what the kiss rate would be if we did a bit of spell tweaking with our profiles :)
Just for fun............
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 12, 2008 10:20 PM
Hi All,
I still like this profile of that woman from the US that was quoted to us the other day by JenJen- that was brilliant and her own words.
"Brain Dancer"
Gender: Female
Industry: Communications or Media
Occupation: Writer
Location: San Francisco : California : United States
About Me
I'm an attractive, terminally single, terminally 39 female. After trying Match.com and getting rejected by 7,395 guys in one year I starting thinking: "Hey, it's not me, maybe it's online dating that's to blame." I started investigating the "dating industrial complex" and discovered a seething groundswell of discontent, in blogs, in Craigslist "rants and raves", even in the tone of personal ads. After ten years of online dating, the world is finally getting fed up. Whether you're single or not, Internet dating has a far reaching-effect on your life. It's destroying our relationships, our morals, our ethics and our marriages. Join me as I search for alternatives and share the journey with you.
The first time you had your shoes taken off - how surprised were you to see that you still had toes?
When I was a little girl, my mother had to write L on my left shoe and R on my right shoe -- otherwise I would often put my shoes on the wrong feet.
Interests
What interests? I'm busy updating my profile blowdrying my hair getting ready for dates driving to Starbucks for the umpteenth time this month. Who has time for interests when you're overcaffeniated?
Favorite Movies
Desperately Seeking Susan Single White Female French Kiss When Harry Met Sally You've Got Mail the Sex in the City DVD set Annie Hall Bliss Must Love Dogs Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown.
Favorite Music
You know I am just kidding about these movies and books right?
Favorite Books
"Women who love too much." "He's Not That Into You." "Fear of Flying."
Maybe this is where to start ladies, if you are fed up
Looks like all the removed posts from the other night are now reinstated
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 12, 2008 10:20 PM
Ninaschen,seraph and notgodsgift, loved the stories behind the name. Mine is boring...... after a few too many red wines,dutch courage took over and I thought ok girl give this a go. Not realizing you needed to invent a name,as I love ocean swimming dolphins seemed the obvious choice. When i went to register there were about 6374 other dolphins so added my age and here I am. Wish I had invented something a little more humorous or alluring, feel like you Jenjen.. a little boring
Posted by: dolphin46 at January 12, 2008 10:18 PM
Thanks Suzie :)
Most of my friends do call me Jenjen Nina :)
Some of you are just so imaginative with your names !
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 12, 2008 10:16 PM
Can I just add that spelling is NOT as important in a profile as we originally thought !!! ...........
Can you read this?
Olny srmat poelpe can.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod
are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the
rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it
wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey
lteter byistlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas
tghuhot
slpeling was ipmorantt!
Posted by: graceandcharm at January 12, 2008 10:15 PM
I love your name, JenJen! It is perky. I think, even if (when!) I meet you, I would still call you JenJen, not Jenny.
Posted by: ninaschen at January 12, 2008 10:14 PM
Jen... your name is fine.. don't change it.. :-)
Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 12, 2008 10:12 PM
Now I feel REALLY boring.........I need a new name :(
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 12, 2008 10:09 PM
but today122 why wouldn't you want to be bright and chirpy? I mean, if I read a profile that was full of negativity.. or sarcasm.. that would put me off immediately.. I want to know that the person who wrote the profile is inherently happy within themselves and shows that happiness to the world!!
Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 12, 2008 10:06 PM
and hang onto that faith WT03 - you never know your luck in the big city!
And sort of on topic - I HATE text speak in profiles. maybe I'm just a tad old to appreciate this, but I hate lol, SOH, blah blah. And all the walking on beaches, rain on the tin roof, sunsets and lightning. and sensual massages - yuk yuk. I think others have written about this, but it is the no 1 turn off for me.
Posted by: today122 at January 12, 2008 10:05 PM
And WnW - yes I totally agree. My profile is me - I couldn't write any other way. But so many of them seem to really just say the same thing - all bright and chirpy, and I think in that regard we squeeze ourselves into little one dimensional characters. How to pack a life into 1800 words?
Posted by: today122 at January 12, 2008 10:01 PM
Bob...that was too funny! Ninaschen, nice to see how you got your name. I am the "wishful thinker" because I'm wishing RSVP would give us something new (and decent) to blog about...well...it sounded good
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 12, 2008 9:59 PM
And I think "notgodsgift" is a fantastic name - says so much about the humour of the person behind the words.
You guys all have such meaningful names - and yes I think grace would be a beautiful name. Mine - I wanted it to be "today" - as in today my luck might change, tragic ha. but that was taken. my street number is 122, so there you go. very boring.
Posted by: today122 at January 12, 2008 9:58 PM
profile, job application is there a difference?these and other weird wonders of the human species will be revealed here tonight on RSVP. stay tuned and remember, it's hip to be square & never to old to rock an roll.
Same Bat time, Same bat channel
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 12, 2008 9:53 PM
I just startled the dog, again! You made me laugh out loud, Bob. I'm glad you erred on the side of reason. Somehow, I don't think 'Sh*thead as a profile name would draw a lot of positive response! Apart from those of us who have a teeny insight into you via the blogs.
Posted by: ninaschen at January 12, 2008 9:48 PM
ninaschen - probably the dozing moderators have better things to do on Saturday nights than moderate us tragics :)
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 12, 2008 9:45 PM
Thanks ODE. We tricked those dozing moderators, didn't we? Valid points you have made and I will give them due consideration and most likely incorporate them all into my profile.
How could I forget Bob's bodacious, JenJen? Shame on me! Definitely up there!
Posted by: ninaschen at January 12, 2008 9:40 PM
willow1059 at January 12, 2008 9:02 PM
Very well put willow, from my experience, we as humans are very quick to focus on the negative, and place a lot of delight in seeing and discussing the negative (just look at the daily news), so much so that all the positives that come our way are discarded.
This comes through also in a lot of profiles, and the odd positive profile really stands out.
All that we are is ourselves, nothing more, nothing less, once we accept who we are, we become more accepting of others, these nuances seem so insignificant, and add flavour.
Posted by: stratus65 at January 12, 2008 9:39 PM
Hi Ninaschen,
I would have liked to use the name my grandfather gave me (I was 3, but still remember it and him though he died when I was 5), but I doubt "Shithead" would be acceptable!!
I chose my name whilst I was trying to put my profile together. I realised, when I read it back to myself, that I was coming over as gods gift to women and that "I'm not gods gift, nor want to be" - and there we have it.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 12, 2008 9:38 PM
Hey all,
my profile name SeraphSuzie.. is because seraph means Angel.. and it has connotations for me.. and Suzie is my name.. well its really Suzanne .. but always get called Suzie..
I was thinking of redoing my whole profile.. but .. I doubt I have it in me to write another one..
Posted by: seraphsuzie at January 12, 2008 9:38 PM
I've always loved the name "Grace" for a woman,so simple,peaceful.I love the song "Amazing Grace".I then just added the word "charm" because I am....well.....charming,well,Bob thinks so anyway?! :))))
Posted by: graceandcharm at January 12, 2008 9:36 PM
Good question Bob. I've often wondered about people's profile names. I'll share first - my real name is Linda. My father's pet name for me when I was young was Nina. When he was feeling particularly affectionate (doesn't come easily to a dour German) he would call me Ninaschen. Little Nina. So the name Ninaschen has warm memories for me. No one calls me that, anymore. Oh, apart from Weta, when I bump into him at Safeway.
Posted by: ninaschen at January 12, 2008 9:25 PM
ninaschen
Possible Ideal Partner tweaks: Technically speaking, "divorced" can be changed to "single" ;-) I suspect it will get some more traffic, and it won't associate with you one of those black widows. And as I said to sue, perhaps adding "undecided" will reel in all those triangulating men. I'm not too sure about it.
I can't see anything wrong with the headline or interests section.
Main section:
Maybe change from "I am comfortable with who I am, and my imperfections are tolerated by my family (sometimes) and friends (mostly)" to "I am comfortable with who I am, and like stamps, any imperfections simply make me more valuable!"
"My photos are recent and I hope yours are too. Neither of us want any surprises, do we?" -- "My photos are recent, and yours had better be too, Mister!" Says the same thing.
"I am prepared to make time for you in mine. Please don't contact me if you aren't prepared to do the same" -- the second sentence can be safely removed. One, it will up the positivity a little. Two, the first sentence carries the implication that you value the same in a partner. See the tip below!
----------------------
BONUS TIP FOR EVERYONE! We can say what we're looking for by describing ourselves. And we can describe ourselves by saying what we're looking for. Rather than write "I'm intelligent, confident, funny, etc." and risk sounding conceited, add to your Ideal Partner "I'm looking for someone intelligent, confident, funny, etc." And rather than write "I don't want someone who won't give me the time of day", the positive improvement is "I want someone who'll give me the time of day" -- but you can make it less direct by describing yourself: "I give my partner the time of day."
----------------------------------
Leave everything else as it is. But the final paragraph...
"Oh... and if I should send you a kiss and you can't take a moment to respond - thanks for the heads-up - it says more about you than it does about me. Bad manners are never attractive."
Consider scrapping that. Taking a jab at the rude ones isn't worth the picture it paints to the good ones. Following the bonus tip above, you could say the same thing with something like "Oh... and if you should send me a kiss, rest assured I'll take a moment to respond. Heard about the four people in Australia with good manners? I'm still trying to find the other three!"
Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at January 12, 2008 9:23 PM
ninaschen - I really like Bob's bodacious !!
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 12, 2008 9:22 PM
Hi All,
Any advice you receive is worthless if you dont know who you are - how can you know what you want if you dont?
Once you have worked that out, its a matter of deciding if you want quantity over quality (ie are you trawling hopefully or are you targeting specific types). Trawling costs money, so be prepared for that. Targeting means less responses, but if you can decide what you want from someone else (basically by telling them who you are and what you can offer - or are prepared to offer), then you are more likely to get more contacts that meet your criteria.
Just on another subject, how did you all come up with your Profile Name - I think that can tell one something about the person even before they start reading the headline.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 12, 2008 9:18 PM
Perspicacious! What a wonderful word, Willow. This post will get pulled 'cause it's not on topic but I would love to see a blog where we can share our favourite words (okay, nothing to do with dating but we don't seem to be having much luck in that department, anyway). Weta's use of the word 'conniptions' still pops up around the blogs from time to time. We could start a new trend. Dazzle our dates with our extended vocabulary learned from the RSVP blogs!
Posted by: ninaschen at January 12, 2008 9:18 PM
Willow..sage advice. WnW, too dark to cycle now. Doesn't matter what sort of profile we write, we will always attract the "wrong" people, but we just hope that the "right" one is hiding in there somewhere. Good to see your profile is back up too.
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 12, 2008 9:17 PM
Are there any fun ladies out there (in Brisbane) or have you all become set in your ways? Come on you quirky dags - own up.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 12, 2008 8:36 PM
Probably heaps of women out there like this Woody.......but alas they are beyond the 10km zone,so you may never know!
Posted by: graceandcharm at January 12, 2008 9:13 PM
today122 - I have learned from experience on here that there is little point in writing a generic profile and attracting people who we are not suited to. I like meeting people as much as the next person but I have decided to try and progressively narrow my field - I hope it works, nothing else has.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 12, 2008 9:11 PM
Every RSVP kiss you receive is valuable, a person however unsuited saw something in your profile for which they decided to take the effort to send the kiss. Embrace each kiss as if it was from someone special, hold it to your chest with all your strength knowing one day you may find exactly this from within the noise we call RSVP.
Posted by: willow1059 at January 12, 2008 9:02 PM
So so true willow.
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 12, 2008 9:10 PM
Well WnW - jenjen, wishful thinker and the rest of us would beg to differ I reckon! thanks ladies.
Are we all just looking in the wrong places?
And of course the profiles are safe and generic, we're all so busy trying to fit ourselves into some sort of box in this market that we've become one dimensional characters, in fear of scaring the horses.
Posted by: today122 at January 12, 2008 9:05 PM
OK wishfulthinker - get on ya bike before I finsih the wine.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 12, 2008 9:02 PM
sue4you, please forgive the acts of cruelty sometimes evident in blogs. I think somethimes bloggers hit send when they should hit delete.
Really your $200 in stamps (and counting) is a small price to pay for finding love. It is just the cost of one date. Love has no price nor any timeframe. It may find you on date number 2, 22 but hopefully not 222.
The only suggestion I have for you is consider adding clarity to what is essential and not negotiable in a partner and what you have to offer the love of your life. I will not call this advice, after all I am still single like most RSVP'ers so it is quite a stretch for any of us to offer advice.
RSVP is no different to life, most of us took many years and many social occasions to find our first partner, why should we expect success later in life without some degree of perseverance.
In the end, very few of us are perspicacious enough to find the right person from what they write in an email, say on the telephone or express during early dates.
Believe in your intregrity, forgive yourself and others for indecisiveness, let time and if necessary many kisses solve this gap in your life.
Every RSVP kiss you receive is valuable, a person however unsuited saw something in your profile for which they decided to take the effort to send the kiss. Embrace each kiss as if it was from someone special, hold it to your chest with all your strength knowing one day you may find exactly this from within the noise we call RSVP.
willow1059 wishes you every success. I look forward to the time you say farewell, whether this be because you have found your partner via RSVP or out there in society where life really happens.
Posted by: willow1059 at January 12, 2008 9:02 PM
Yes Jen, he sure is.
WnW, I can cycle 30km in an hour...driving an hour each way would put my date down at Surfers or up at Mooloolaba, surely half an hour each way isn't too bad (that covers a North/South relationship).
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 12, 2008 8:55 PM
WnW - We have talked about this before. Surely everyone doesn't expect to meet the person of their dreams living in the next street? Convenient sure, but unlikely to happen. On the Long Distance Love blog (gee, wasn't that a long time ago?) we did this to death.
You (the collective you) are seriously limiting your options if you won't consider a bit of travel. It seems most people want everything instantly and at their fingertips, these days. That attitude really bugs me.
Posted by: ninaschen at January 12, 2008 8:54 PM
wishfulthinker - I get the 10Km thing. Driving an hour to and an hour from 2-3 times a week soon gets very tiring.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 12, 2008 8:41 PM
Hey ODE. I asked for your help with my profile a couple of days ago but it ended in a tug of war with the moderators. I posted. They pulled it. I posted. They pulled it. I fell asleep in the end so they won. The post was on topic and inoffensive. Go figure. So now I am asking nicely, again, feedback appreciated!
Posted by: ninaschen at January 12, 2008 8:37 PM
woodwine- so much to say and SO little space to say it
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 12, 2008 8:37 PM
OK I've read a lot of profiles but where are the women in their 40s/50s who like doing fun & interesting stuff, listening to modern music on JJJ, watching interesting shows on TV instead of serials & medical shows? Many people use words like "young at heart", "young for my age" etc but when you read their profiles you have to wonder what they mean. Are there any fun ladies out there (in Brisbane) or have you all become set in your ways? Come on you quirky dags - own up.
Just want to stir up a bit of activity and fun, not be rude. I am the first to admit that I am a quirky dag and like doing stupid stuff. Too many safe profiles on RSVP I think.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 12, 2008 8:36 PM
just tickle my bellie ,,,,,,,,,,,roflmao
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 12, 2008 8:33 PM
moreofaman4u
Oh, thank you sweetie..........isnt he lovely wishful !!
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 12, 2008 8:27 PM
To you two ladies in Qld
mainly jenjen and wishful, girls i have seen your profiles and pics jenjen,,girl i don't think you will ever get old, as he only cast one of you then said "perfect& print", and wishful , your ideals have won me, both you girls can sleep tonight knowing your safe, as i am down south in Victoria,,,,,,,,lolol ps wft03 say hello to "jasper the cat" 4 me from my clan, pink, floyd and chacha(cats) luv em
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 12, 2008 8:14 PM
What is with all these people wanting someone 10km from their suburb? They planning on walking over to collect them. I know the price of petrol has gone through the roof - but surely the net needs to be widened just a bit.
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 12, 2008 8:09 PM
moreofaman...apparently she doesn't read the blogs! You mean all this helpful advice is going unheeded? (sigh)
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 12, 2008 8:02 PM
moreofaman4u
Photos are just to give us an idea surely..........when u are old (like me,hehe) u dont change significantly.
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 12, 2008 8:01 PM
Talking about keeping a profile current, i just viewed a profile (whom, i dare not say) but i just thought, lady keep on looking.
Pics were dated 2005, ladies and gentle men, to day is Jan 12, 2008. pls pls have up dated photos or don't date then. To me this would say it is old information old profile. thxs but no thxs.
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 12, 2008 7:38 PM
OWN YOUR PROBLEM AND DEAL WITH IT.
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 12, 2008 6:46 PM
Oh my god fish you are cold.
Posted by: jaspercat at January 12, 2008 7:17 PM
have to agree with jaspercat, Thats real cold even for you fish.
How much control do you think a person has? when in the end they have to rely on other people to reply! then if they do get a reply only to be told thanks ,but no thxs.
Sue4 you you tweak as much as you feel you need to . If i feel a word or sentence or even rearrange the whole context i do it. The main thing is keep it current, like with in the last mth at the latest.
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 12, 2008 7:31 PM
Sue, ignore the Fish...he just of got up on the wrong side of the bed! The profile looks good, some of ODE's tips are great, be worth using those. I agree with the deleting bits referring to made lots of friends etc. - some guys want to be the "one and only"...just a thought.
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 12, 2008 7:28 PM
Part 2 of the profile-writing installment has been postponed a short while. Sorry, forgot to factor in my weekend club-crawling and other acts of desperation.
Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at January 12, 2008 7:26 PM
Oh my god fish you are cold.
Posted by: jaspercat at January 12, 2008 7:17 PM
sue4you
Change headline from "Anyone out there want to teach me how to surf and appreciate red wine?" to "Anyone out there want to fall off surfboards with me and pit sobriety against red wine?" Makes the athletic types who aren't surfers feel more included. I'm assuming you have no problem with that.
EITHER change age from 44 to 48 and remove "To be honest I'm actually 48 but there seems to be some magical cut off age of 45 for most men so I had to get your attention somehow"; OR leave age as 44 and remove "To be honest I'm actually 48 but there seems to be some magical cut off age of 45 for most men so I had to get your attention somehow".
Modification: From "Have a great job that I love, am financially independent, exercise regularly..." to "Have a great job that I love, will spend my own money rather than yours, exercise regularly, and enjoy collecting bottles of wine (I have a nice rack)." Just do it.
Leave this as it is: "I can't read maps so don't ask me to give you the directions when we're driving we'll just end up lost, but that could turn into a good thing, we could end up somewhere much more interesting." It's perfect.
Get rid of this: "Have made some great friends from the site as well as met some other interesting characters, shed a few tears, had lots of laughs, sampled some fantastic food, enjoyed wonderful nights out so life’s good." Guys are more drawn to site virgins and want to feel like Mr First without worrying that they're going to be friends-binned.
Modification: From "A romantic (if you think a whipper snipper or breadmaker is a suitable present you're not the guy for me)" to "A romantic (if you think a whipper snipper or breadmaker is a suitable present, we have some work to do!)". Simply matches the positivity of the rest of your profile.
Add "undecided" to your partner profile for wants children (most guys who have no interest in kids just put down "undecided" to triangulate, so you have nothing to worry about). You may get a bit more traffic.
Your desired occupation level is "Other, Senior Management, Management, Business Owner, Professional, Executive". Consider removing that, since the presence of "Other" pretty much nullifies any benefit to listing the others anyway.
Remove "A male friend showed me the books 'The Rules' and 'What Men Want' as a joke". No guy wants to hear about a male friend because it spells (obscene word) + "blocker". Also, don't read those books, even though I have recommended the former to women in one of my parody advice installments. And don't read "He's Just Not That Into You" -- I'm assuming you have it, given the closing comment of your blog post.
You're welcome.
Happy to help any ladies tweak their profiles. And will help men, but if men are going to heed my advice, they should keep in mind that my own profile is an abominable failure in terms of results.
Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at January 12, 2008 7:12 PM
rider74 - I change my profile if I think of something new but this isn't very often. Why do you tweak your's so often? I am interested.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 12, 2008 6:54 PM
sue4you: I like your profile and photos,and as long as you feel it represents you then you shouldn't need to change it except for tweaking as we all do !
There are lots of us out there who have received lots of kisses but are still looking.Unfortunately Mr Right is not guaranteed for any of us once a certain quota of kisses is received.
Concentrate on men that want to call you and want to be with you,let the others go,don't waste your time.You can't force chemistry.
Posted by: graceandcharm at January 12, 2008 6:52 PM
Sue4you
I’ve just re-joined on RSVP after 6 months off. Was previously on for 12 months and like you met a lot of dishonest people…..I must say that I have learnt a lot on human behaviour…..Have read your profile and it looks great, you sound like a very sincere and upfront lady….we are very similar in age and in what we want.
I would not change anything…..you know what you want…..be optimistic….the special person is out there for you….in the mean time don’t take RSVP to seriously and enjoy the good people.
Posted by: beijememuito at January 12, 2008 6:48 PM
Susan and everyone else who wants to blame the other person.
It’s not them, it’s YOU.
You control your own destiny. No-one but you can control who you respond to, who you choose to go out with.
The relevant personality trait is- ability to choose character wisely and well.
And it’s YOUR personality trait, not someone elses.
OWN YOUR PROBLEM AND DEAL WITH IT.
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 12, 2008 6:46 PM
sue4you
I agree with hermanhesse that you should "tweek" your profile at least once a week, I know i do . As for breaking dates and the rest my only advice is be up front with him and ask "where do I stand here" if it's not going anywhere use your head and move on.
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 12, 2008 5:49 PM
Sue4you you dont need help with your profile - I think some of the guys you have been dealing with are the ones that need help!! I wonder if we know some of the same....anyway you will DEF find someone. You look lovely and your profile is very well read. Players and I do agree with hermanhesse do waste your time. Stay strong and patient and Mr right will come I am sure. Dont change anything
Posted by: jaspercat at January 12, 2008 5:12 PM
sue4you
I think you have been rather unlucky but there are a significant number of "PLAYERS" (male and female) on RSVP who waste their time and everone elses.
Suggest that you let you instincts (intuition) decide when you get any kisses or emails. Hold you ground on what you want but be willing to improve or adjust your profile every week/month - e.g. tweek it.
Ignore those who obviously don't fit with what you have stated. Anyone who constantly breaks dates etc is not interested..........simply block him off. There are also lots of rude selfish people here (just like anywhere else too) but you cut your way through them till you find a decent person.
Posted by: hermanhesse at January 12, 2008 4:49 PM
OK, I need some help with my profile. I have been on and off (mostly off) this site for about 18months, spent over $200 in stamps (half of which have expired before Ive had a chance to use them), had over 400 kisses in and been out with about a dozen men but here I am still looking.
What can I do to improve my profile? I do want someone who is active but I also want someone who also enjoys the theatre, art gallery etc. Most of the kisses I get in are obviously from men who have not even read my profile.
Please, I need some constructive criticism on improving my profile.
Also, what is going on if a man emails and talks to you on the phone on numerous occasions over a 4 month time period but only goes out with you twice, constantly breaks dates but then continues to call etc? Hes just not that into me, right?
Thanks
Sue
Posted by: sue4you at January 12, 2008 4:09 PM
Woodnwine no I dont it was so long ago and as you know RSVP has taken away all forms of old contact. I have tried to look at your profile but you have taken off your profile. I would love to have contacted you again......
Posted by: jaspercat at January 12, 2008 3:21 PM
Jaspercat - do you still have my number by any chance?
Posted by: woodnwine at January 12, 2008 2:05 PM
ninaschen: Haha see if we had a chat room you could cme out to an event that isnt in a night club and not to find a man but to just get out and about and enjoy the company of so many lovely people. Must run now kids been over in W/A visiting there mum got to get to the airport, been nice blogging and reading different views. I will return to blog and hint to RSVP about a CHAT ROOM more lol
Have a great day :)
Posted by: thetinman68 at January 12, 2008 1:57 PM
TinMan - And they are only the ones I know about - there are probably more. Geez, I have been here too long, I'll be attending weddings and christenings soon. I've got to get a life off the blogs (preferably one with a man in it).
Posted by: ninaschen at January 12, 2008 1:47 PM
TinMan - There have been quite a few success stories with people meeting through the blogs. I can think of 5 relationships that are still going and several more that didn't quite work out but they are still friends.
If we had a chat facility, I reckon the success rate would be even higher.
Posted by: ninaschen at January 12, 2008 1:44 PM
ninaschen: Oh thats a shame all of my pics on my profile have been taken at/by events we have organised ourselves in the other chat room.I even ended up dating a girl who I met at a event that I siad no thanks to on here. In person we seemed to get along good, strange how we read profile isnt always the way that person is in real life good or bad
Posted by: thetinman68 at January 12, 2008 1:30 PM
TinMan and JenJen - A chat room has been suggested to RSVP via the blogs ad nauseum. At one stage, it even looked like we might get one (according to an email I received from one of the VERY approachable moderators). Sadly, he seems to have disappeared and the possibility of a chat room with him.
Posted by: ninaschen at January 12, 2008 1:16 PM
Just an idea but maybe RSVP could make a general chat room even if costs a stamp per month
Posted by: thetinman68 at January 12, 2008 1:07 PM
EXCELLENT IDEA !!
RSVP how about it ??
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 12, 2008 1:13 PM
tinman - Agreed.
Not that I think any of us should "settle" for just anyone, but I do think maybe we are all getting just a bit too picky and precious about photos and profile content.
There are a lot of truly lovely people out there.And they dont all have model looks, fab photos or winning profiles.
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 12, 2008 1:10 PM
Just an idea but maybe RSVP could make a general chat room even if costs a stamp per month I am a member on another site which has it and from there I must admit I have met and made friends with many people male and female we organise nights out for dinner, bbq's and even day trips to zoo's ect. By chatting in group sutuation we get to know usually what type of attitude alot of the people have, Ive found it to be a good thing the last 2 years
Posted by: thetinman68 at January 12, 2008 1:07 PM
JenJen I think your right there the great advertiseing now day does make it seem like its a sure thing that we will meet our perfect match, life long soul mate.
Posted by: thetinman68 at January 12, 2008 1:00 PM
tinman - maybe we are taking it all a little too seriously and sites like this make it more confusing because there are just so many of us here ?
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 12, 2008 12:55 PM
Speaking of needing a few more kiss options, here's one. How many of you (besides me) have received kisses from people you have either had dates with, or have been in email communication with previously? Have these folks had memory lapses, or are they genuinely wanting to re-connect? It seems to me if it is the latter, then they should email. There is no option to deal with this situation and I find it disturbing.
Posted by: lamuse at January 12, 2008 12:54 PM
A winning profile does it make that much of a difference after all before these singles sites, didnt we all just look at someone and think hey she/he seems alright and went from there ?? I dont ever rememeber sitting there and ticking of my list to see if they had a job or kids ect ??
Posted by: thetinman68 at January 12, 2008 12:48 PM
I do heaps of stuff online. Funny if when I did my banking, paying bills and stuff if it came up and said "you can't do that you're not logged on". how long would people put up with that??
ggggggggrrrrrrrrrr
Posted by: today122 at January 12, 2008 12:26 PM
Jen, you have to wonder then what the person you are talking to is thinking because if only every second or third thing you say gets through and their questions might be left unanswered, you may appear distracted and/or worse :) I've not bothered to check later to see what is missing...must do that one day.
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 12, 2008 11:49 AM
wishful - yes I have the same problems with chat mode. And when you view it later there are big chunks missing because of all the errors. Slow, cumbersome, constant error messages, big time lags, very frustrating !!
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 12, 2008 11:42 AM
Today122....the log in and out problem runs right up there with the "chat" component. Is it just me or do others get a lot of "error" messages while trying to "chat" to someone? I find that so frustrating, it's very slow and cumbersome and makes me wonder if those talking to you think perhaps you are not responding due to lack of interest, rather than the crappy software!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 12, 2008 11:34 AM
what is it with these millions of sign in sign out attempts. RSVP - what is up with your software or your connections or whatever is going on? Are all your IT people on holidays or something? I don't know of any other website that has so many problems. Maybe you could spend some of the $10 per stamp you get to actually improve the service!!!
A friend of mine has been trying to access this website for the last couple of weeks, and can't even open it. And she's a member.
I wonder how long this little post will stay up - but please listen to us and do something about the service you're offering, or rather not offering.
Posted by: today122 at January 12, 2008 11:14 AM
my ten cents worth on the lack of stuff on a profile - these people are so arrogant they think that people will just flock to them because they're there - "hey I'm single and available" and think others are so desperate that anyone will do, regardless.
Like the blurb about the flash car and the international travel - that's all that we're looking for? no idea.
and woodnwine - what's the profile name of this mysterious sunglasses and hat - maybe they're on the run from the mafia
Posted by: today122 at January 12, 2008 11:11 AM
I would never judge any one solely by their profile. I know it is the only intial indicator we have about someone, but if someone sends me a kiss and roughly fits my ideal partner for age, drinking and smoking habits, I am happy to email, chat or meet them before I write them off.
Because you just never know.
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 12, 2008 10:26 AM
I am beginning to think people don't write much because they can't think what to say that will make them unique, or they are so worried about their literacy skills they think best not put too many off (we know what sticklers we are for grammar and spelling!).
Thanks Jasper...the cat is a neurotic, grey, love-sponge of a thing, and cute...doesn't he know it! He is an Oriental....highly recommended for deaf people because he never shuts up!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 12, 2008 10:23 AM
wishful - so TOTALLY his loss ! What was he thinking !! Lucky you - he doesnt deserve you :)
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 12, 2008 10:21 AM
Hi woodnwine yes it has been a long time since we have spoken and I am a lot wiser as to the RSVP thing. One regret that I do have is that when we were "talking" I was not over a previous relationship and that is a big regret of mine but we learn from mistakes and get over them. I do have one question for some people on this site though and that is why dont you put more information in the profiles. You look at some of them and they say hardly anything??? Also wishful thinker you have a great profile. What sort of cat is that? So cute!!!
Posted by: jaspercat at January 12, 2008 10:16 AM
Kahlua, nice photos, but I'm in agreement with the others, even one of you smiling toward the camera would be good. (The two horses are gorgeous tho!). I am not so sure I'd worry about being "dressed up" as you are obviously a country girl at heart and probably much more comfy in the jeans and t-shirts.
WnW, those profiles where they write absolutely nothing leave me wondering whether they actually have the capacity to converse in real life or if they truly think "less is more" and you'll come running eagerly to find out the rest - personally I can't be bothered.
Jen..good advice. I wrote mine with that in mind, only to be told by a "date" I was nothing like I write..hmm...ah well...his loss :)
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 12, 2008 10:03 AM
I once received a kiss from a woman who hadn't filled in any of the areas on her profile (you know, movies, music etc), her blurb was incredibly brief and her only photo was of her wearing large dark glasses and a big hat. I replied asking her to update her profile but many months later I see it is still the same. I wonder if she is wondering why she is still looking?
Posted by: woodnwine at January 12, 2008 9:41 AM
Hi jaspercat - well, it's a long time since we've spoken isn't it? How have you been? Thanks everyone for the ideas - I liked the way you put it mstingle and might consider that in the future.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 12, 2008 9:37 AM
Writing a good dating profile is the most important step you will take in the internet dating world. You wouldn't dream of going out on a date without preparation, so don't do it online.
Think about a description of your perfect partner. Write your dating profile for that person as if you were in conversation with them. Basically write how you talk and not how you think you should write.
Look at a lot of other people's profiles to see which ones work for you.
After you write each line, ask the question, 'So what?'. If it is worth keeping then rewrite that line again. Throw away anything that is irrelevant.
It is best NOT to write lines like "If you are a player then don't reply as I have had bad experiences before". You see these all the time. All this is actually saying is "I been had before so I have a weakness. Now that I've told you what it is, why don't you have a go?". You might think you have learnt from experience and can see them coming, however, wolves don't just show up in sheep's clothing but in all sorts of outfits.
Always be totally honest.
Don't just write a rave review about yourself. Your dating profile should blend your good points with a few of your bad. Keeping the balance, keeps your credibility.
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 12, 2008 9:34 AM
kahlua71..your pics are very nice but there seems to more of the animals and not much of you..perhaps less of the animals and a couple of closeups of you dressed up a little might be more flattering and appealing. You may not want to give the impression animals are more important to you than people. Good luck with your search!
Posted by: mushie6 at January 12, 2008 9:27 AM
kahlua71 - have to agree with today122. The photos are great, love the gorgeous horses, but even just one clear one of you looking out at us would be good. Best of luck out there !
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 12, 2008 9:07 AM
kahlua71 - may I suggest you have a couple of photos of just you? great photos but you can't really see YOU in there.
and caplio - sorry but I looked at your profile, and I know you weren't asking for comments, but you say about not being able to change your age on the main bit. update your profile and change your birthdate, that's what sets the age that comes out in that bit. and my ten cents worth - great profile and great photos.
And it's ok - I'm a woman, ha ha not a girl any longer :)
cheers
Posted by: today122 at January 12, 2008 8:48 AM
woodnwine as for your comment on Jan 11 about RSVPs throwing away potential partners - I have to totally agree and unfortunately I have to admit I have been guilty of that myself over the past on RSVP. You seem like a lovely guy and I cant understand why someone hasnt snapped you up yet. Good luck on RSVP I am sure you will find what you are looking for. (thanks U2)
Posted by: jaspercat at January 12, 2008 7:09 AM
woodnwine at January 11, 2008 3:58 PM
Say it from the heart, if you feel uncomfortable about what you write then ask yourself why. The right woman for you will be attracted to what you genuinely have to say. So many people have a comment about what they think is right but we are all different, you can't please everyone. that is why it is so important to say something that you can relate to, so that you only have women that understand the way the way that you express yourself respond.
Not everyone will like this but maybe 'I am looking for a long term relationship, full of passion with the right person' This say's that you are not a sleazy becuase you only want to be passionate with someone special for the long haul, not just anyone will do.
Posted by: mstingle at January 12, 2008 2:18 AM
moreofaman4u at January 11, 2008 1:49 PM
Well there's an idea I suppose as long as it was moderated in case of offensive material
Posted by: mstingle at January 12, 2008 1:38 AM
wishfull- to respond or not to respond ..that is the question :)
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 11, 2008 11:18 PM
Hi everyone,
Just thought I would give my 2 cents worth. One thing that really turns me off a guy's profile is when he calls himself a boy. It's even more annoying when he says he is looking for a girl.
This might be ok in your 20's but in our 30's, 40's and 50's I believe we are men and women.
Well, I'm definitely a woman looking for a man not a boy.
Thanks.
Posted by: caplio at January 11, 2008 10:21 PM
Hi everybody
I would like some help with my profile, can anyone give me some advice? Is my main photo suitable or should I change it? I'm pretty happy with the words, but i'm open to suggestions.
Thanks for any help
Posted by: kahlua71 at January 11, 2008 9:59 PM
It seems neither gender can win in this dating game. Lucky most of us are optimistic and patient.... keep on waiting and trying and waiting and trying etc etc
Posted by: dolphin46 at January 11, 2008 9:56 PM
Malsie - I just re-read my post before last. A whiff of sleaze in sight?? How embarrassing! Surely I meant a whiff of sleaze in the air, or a glimpse of sleaze in sight! Hmm. I am off the usual chardy tonight and indulging in Bloody Marys. Note to self. THINK before I post and easy on the vodka.
Posted by: ninaschen at January 11, 2008 9:23 PM
ninaschen, yes, I think the context in which words are used is an important factor. By the way, I wasn't meaning to imply only Scorpios are passionate! Just that is a label so frequently attached to us lot, I wondered if I saw the word in a different light than others may, that was all.
Sorry you're confused, WnW. You're good with words - I'm sure you'll find a way round it, and as dolphin46 said, the right woman will respond to the way you put things yourself (not exactly what she said, but words to that effect).
Posted by: malsie at January 11, 2008 9:11 PM
Interesting, isn't it WnW? So many views! What is right to put in your profile? What is wrong? Who the hell knows? I would err on the side of caution, however. I think we can all safely assume that the majority of people on RSVP are looking for affection. Need affection. CRAVE affection! I don't think you need to spell it out. If your profile is warm (there's that lovely word again!) and friendly, your message will get across.
Posted by: ninaschen at January 11, 2008 8:48 PM
Talk about confusing, I am probably none the wiser - I do want someone who is comfortable holding hands in public but I also want more than that but don't know how to say it without appearing sleazy - after all being affectionate isn't sleazy. I don't want an old maid (regardless of age) who just wants to sit and crochet her nights away.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 11, 2008 8:40 PM
I'm a passionate (!) Scorpio like you, Malsie. For me, however, that word needs to be used carefully in a profile otherwise it can invoke the eeewww factor. I like the word 'warm'. If someone is described as warm, it immediately makes me think they are affectionate in the best possible way - not a whiff of sleaze in sight.
NotGodsGift - it is one of the really frustrating things about the 'smorgasbord' available on sites such as RSVP. It is way too easy for some people to say "next" if someone doesn't meet their criteria exactly. It takes time to develop a warm (just love that word!) and loving relationship.
Posted by: ninaschen at January 11, 2008 7:27 PM
dolphin46, totally agree, and it's one of the (many) things the blogs have shown me: there is never an across the board agreement on anything (and neither should there be, of course). Getting people's opinions is great, and if one (or more) resonate with you, then it could be a very helpful exercise. Or if total confusion follows - well, just write what you think and hope for the best!
Funnily enough, I thought my profile was perfectly okay, and the photos too (not that I put too much thought into it when I wrote it, I must admit, just let it all flow out). But my current partner that I met through the blogs told me he didn't like either very much, and only responded to be friendly initially. It was only when we started chatting online that things changed for him and he saw me in a different light. Hence, if things fall in a heap with this one, I intend putting more thought into a new one! (profile that is, not bloke....)
Posted by: malsie at January 11, 2008 5:56 PM
Malsie, yes diversity is great, but you know the guys are reading our posts and saying to themselves " bloody hell, we can't win, what do women want?" Well guys you have to go with the flow like us girls do ..lol. Its the old saying :one persons poison is another persons pudding... or some thing along those lines. {well it is POETS day, and been a busy week, I can't remember everything :)
Posted by: dolphin46 at January 11, 2008 5:43 PM
dolphin46, yes, context is probably a vital component and the general oveall "tone" of a person would help you to get someone's full intent. I agree totally the "sensual and massage" stuff is totally offputting in profiles.
Posted by: malsie at January 11, 2008 5:37 PM
dolphin46, I must admit I'm one of the type who is quite put off by comments like "not afraid to hold hands in public" and such like (not that there's anything wrong with saying that - or meaning it - just it tends to get a negative reaction from me personally). Contemplating why it irks me, I think it comes across to me as a guy trying to say he's such a SNAG he's quite willing to do something other guys wouldn't - or something along those lines! Whereas I have no problem with the term "passionate" and others obviously do! What diversity in us all, eh, thank God.
Posted by: malsie at January 11, 2008 5:32 PM
Malsie, I think the word passionate is fine, depends on the context though.I think a lot of women read passionate = sex, unless the profile reads something like " am passionate about, life,kids, family" etc Guess the profile is the selling point so best to be safe and perhaps avoid it.Use other words that can't be misconstrued. Please avoid the word "nice" so so bland.
Posted by: dolphin46 at January 11, 2008 5:27 PM
Canbcheeki...they are the same guys that will tell you they'll call.....and you never hear from them again - sometimes I wonder if it's not just a 'power' thing....that they had no intention of replying but just want to see if you'll go ahead and email (both sides of the gender equation here). It's not a game I play, and not one I enjoy being on the receiving end of either, but I'm sure for some it's a boost to their flailing egos....
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 11, 2008 5:25 PM
notgodsgift, interesting to read your thoughts on the term "passionate". More thoughts on this from other people may be helpful for others who have it written in their profiles (or are contemplating it).
My impressions of it are positive (and think of it as also encompassing a generally passionate person - ie passionate about life and interests, not just intimacy). But is that the Scorpio in me? I wonder. I wouldn't hesitate to put it in my profile, but do other people think that men would read that as someone just looking for sex? I'm genuinely interested in people's thoughts on this.
Posted by: malsie at January 11, 2008 5:21 PM
WNw give words like passionate,love massages, sensual etc a miss. Affectionate is fine, maybe something like "I am an affectionate person...will walk hand in hand with you while we talk.." etc something like that nice and light and breezy, invites those girls to want to walk and talk with you.If someone reads that and goes ooee yuk, she is not your type, if she is like minded she will think ooee yum. Just a thought....
canbcheeki, this is a problem that everyone here has had ... the rude non respondee, really they are not the type you want to meet. Their non reply speaks volumes about them.Move on to the next one with a sigh of relief that you missed out on a rude bu**er. :)
Posted by: dolphin46 at January 11, 2008 5:18 PM
Woodnwine...I think you said it perfectly yourself, that you are looking for a relationship rather than a one night stand. Just leave out the bits that say you give good massages :)
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 11, 2008 4:58 PM
Maybe you can convey some of the examples... like: "am not afraid to hold hands in public", I'll snuggle with you on the couch all night etc. And also mention that you're not looking for dates but for a long term relationship. That shows you're genuine.
I think say what you mean the those words will resonate with the right lady.
Good luck!
Posted by: canbcheeki at January 11, 2008 4:22 PM
WnW,
Sorry, not one of the girls but my guess is this. Define clearly what you mean by affectionate (ie hold hands in public etc). From stuff I have read here and some discussions I have had "passionate" from a guy seems to be generally perceived as "wanting sex" - we all do - but interpretation and timing is everything. I would flick "passionate" but, like you, most interested in female input on this one.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 11, 2008 4:18 PM
woodnwine, I think "affectionate and passionate" covers it perfectly actually. Whenever I've read that in profiles, it conveys exactly the right sort of impression to me of someone for whom the physical side is as important as it is to me, but as you say, without the sleaze element.
Posted by: malsie at January 11, 2008 4:17 PM
Next time someone suggest that a female friend write a bloke’s profile for him, I’m going to spew.
My Ex suggested I should change my existing profile as it was misleading.
“Weak feminine man looking for organized bossy bitch to tell me what to do, work full time, cook, clean, wash etc and be like my mother, while I go to music festivals to flirt with 20yos and relive my youth, while you, though being just like my mother, (kind caring nurses preferred).. I want you to give me something my mummy doesn't offer, namely xox. "I want my cake and eat it too ", so am still living with my mummy, but if you seem suitable replacement (especially if you are a good cook), I will not hesitate to follow you like a dog, especially if you have more money than me, and you can pay all the time for us to travel around Australia and the world like gypsies. Even though I am 48 years old, I will still guarantee you a "good time" as I have learnt a lot of tricks "in the …k" from…(at this point even your average censor would flinch as she goes into glorious and X rated detail)”
Somehow I don't think it was meant to be a "winning" profile.
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 11, 2008 4:12 PM
Here is a question about profiles that I would like people's opinions on, particularly the women. As a fairly affectionate person, how would I express that I am looking for someone similarly affectionate and passionate without appearing like a sleaze? I am definitely not looking for one night stands, I am looking for a long term relationship but would prefer one with someone who has the same expectations.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 11, 2008 3:58 PM
RSVP'ers tend to be in a mad rush to meet "the one", and sometimes cast away a potential partner that, with a bit a patience and consideration, may be "the one", but we will never know because we mostly want instant attraction and chemistry (dare I say gratification)?
I look at it this way, how many people become your instant friend - few, if any - we work on it even if subconsciously.
Bob
Great point Bob, well said. I hope I have never been guilty of this.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 11, 2008 3:51 PM
Hi Canbcheeki,
In your case, the guy is oviously a moron if he is ignoring your "kiss" - maybe worth the stamp just to find that out now rather than later!!
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 11, 2008 3:44 PM
why do women kiss me and then when I reply "looking forward to your email " never send the email? this happens 9 out of 10 times or when I send them a kiss and they reply " look forward to your email" don't respond ? people are just damn rude sometimes...hey RSVP ...I should get some credits back ...wish we could black list some profiles.
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 10, 2008 2:33 PM
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 11, 2008 3:43 PM
If we're on stamps for a moment, I have a suggestion. What happens if you Kiss someone and they reply "looking forward to your email", and then never respond? It's one thing to ignore a Kiss, but I bought 3 stamps to email one person who has been online every day since but can't be bothered replying. Would be nice if RSVP offered a discount or allowed you a 1 stamp purchase to replace the wasted one...or better still, penalise the rude "kissee"? I know RSVP isn't responsible for people's rudeness but I am confident if a kissee got penalised for not replying after inviting communcation, that we would all think a little harder about saying yes, and not be so click happy? Food for thought at least.
Posted by: canbcheeki at January 11, 2008 3:38 PM
Hi All,
Regarding what women want (and guys too I guess), the most obvious fact is that you can now be viewed by significant numbers of people whom you normally never see in your life. Conversely, you view significant numbers of people you would otherwise never meet.
You are now a commodity (congratulations), and demand for you will depend on the packaging. It is only natural that if a girl or guy gets significant interest they will perceive that they now have options and become more selective. What do women want - I have no idea, but I will plug away until I find someone that wants me as much as I want her - close enough aint good enough at my age, settling in not an option.
I think the biggest problem is that we dont just date a few different people for a while to find out if there is someone that will "grow" on us. RSVP'ers tend to be in a mad rush to meet "the one", and sometimes cast away a potential partner that, with a bit a patience and consideration, may be "the one", but we will never know because we mostly want instant attraction and chemistry (dare I say gratification)?
I look at it this way, how many people become your instant friend - few, if any - we work on it even if subconsciously.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 11, 2008 3:28 PM
you need to have the hide of a rhino in this situation, wft 03
i think i have the butt thing covered and the broad shoulders but i do see your point. I have never tweaked my profile so much for a site, tis funny though, it is only 1 sentence i have edited in this situation. Once again it is the bloggers here who give you something else to ponder & think about thxs girl's an guy's
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 11, 2008 2:27 PM
Moreofaman4u....you need to have the hide of a rhino in this situation, men and women are probably equally as likely not to respond to a kiss. I'm not sure what is worse, the poorly worded ones, or the ones who tell you they are corresponding with someone else yet have never left RSVP in months...maybe it's a long email thing...but after a month you'd begin to wonder.
I think part of the problem we've discussed to death - the lack of appropriate responses. I'm reluctant to send a "flattered but not thanks" to someone if I'm NOT flattered. Sometimes I just want to scream "CANT YOU READ!", but alas, that option isn't there.
Stamps come and go, they expire often long before you've used them, it's okay I guess if you've spent $59 or so and found the love of your life - small price to pay - but it's not such a good thing when you either let them expire or waste them on people who are intent on playing games.
I've had them, as they become due to expire it's nice to send a friendly email to a blogger - or two :) That way it's not a waste!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 11, 2008 2:04 PM
Yeah i was thinking the other day one of the ladies i sent a kiss to, i knew we didn't have anything in common, but just wanted to say to her,hey i like your photo, just wanted to say yes people are looking at your profile, and good luck in your search. yes maybe there could be a section where we could text our own message, with a limit of say 30 word's.
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 11, 2008 1:49 PM
moreofaman4u at January 11, 2008 12:50 PM
Yes I agree with you if someone is interested they should send you a positive kiss, then email. If people are not interested they should kiss you back with thank you but not interested in responding further.
In this regard as others have said maybe we need a few more kiss options so that a refusal is a bit more politely worded.
Posted by: mstingle at January 11, 2008 1:26 PM
Oh and another thing, while im up here on my soapbox, Stamp's, yepp i haven't purchased any as yet. Why, well they are like currencie around here, btu different to real money they do have a Use by date, so untill i get a positive kiss, i won't buy any. I also am aware that to make contact i need stamps but who and when that is to be decided, i to have to watch how i spend a coin.
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 11, 2008 12:50 PM
i agree with both you ladies(ms t & wft 03) as you i have seen your profile's and you mine, i need to know, do i really scare you ladies so much( not you two girl's) that when a kiss is sent, i don't deserve a reply. Honestly i know i have the face only a mother would love,but i do respect manner's and would like the same in return. I am only asking to be let down politely, thats all.
not happy jan!
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 11, 2008 12:43 PM
ODE, your missives are such a hoot to read, but to classify them as 'postmodern' is a stretch. Several here besides me (e.g. Wishfulthinking) have noted the binaries and metanarratives in your analysis..a hallmark of postmodernism is deconstructing binaries (e.g. provider or lover) and a resistance to metanarratives (metanarratives are overgeneralisations, "all people that do X are Y", for example.)
But keep it up because it is providing food for thought and discussion...if only to get people stirred up a bit and thinking!
Posted by: lamuse at January 11, 2008 11:21 AM
wishfulthinker03 at January 11, 2008 10:55 AM
Yes, I meant if I was still looking and not with anyone my choices could change if I was more financially secure. I definately would not be with someone, till I that I could be with someone better, that's sad. Unfortuantely there are men and women out there like that but that is becuase they cannot commit on an emotional level I think. I would never be with someone who was financial secure that I did not also fall for.
I think I mentioned it in an earlier post on another blog. That when I was younger I mee anumber of men that were well off but there was not chemisty so I did not go out with them, I knew plenty of women back them that would have gone out with them due to thier bling. I married the men that I did and it did not work out and they were not financially able to provide. If our realtionship was greag apart from this I would have stayed with them. I would have lived in a tent if all else was okay but the first beat me and the second one we just ended up like siblings.
So now looking back I thought why can't you have both, to not have so many worries financially and to find someone to fall in love with. I am sure there are some nice men out there that are financially secure and emotionally secure.
We all ways say there are good and bad in all sorts of things so why not this way.
Posted by: mstingle at January 11, 2008 11:15 AM
Mstingle, I think it's okay to have a foot in both camps...everyone, male and female, wants to take care of someone and be taken care of by someone, that's perfectly okay. If you are in one position now, it's more than likely going to change when your circumstances do...do then we toss out what we have and search for a more "appropriate" one.
I'm not looking for a "provider" as such, I've learned to provide for myself very well, however, on occasion I do like to be "taken care of" (must be the inner "girl"), but in turn I like to take care of someone else too (just excuse the cooking!).
I certainly do not want someone for their materialistic assets (the other assets are okay!), but nor do I want to be supporting someone entirely if that makes sense. I've worked hard to get where I am, I've struggled through studying and working and child rearing, and I like where I'm at, and I almost lost it (there's always someone to take advantage of a "nice" girl), so I hang on to it with some determination now.
Like you...I am who I am...and even if I say so myself, that isn't a BAD thing to be!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 11, 2008 10:55 AM
My last post was not directed at wishfulthinker03 I just read her post and liked it and went from there:)
Posted by: mstingle at January 11, 2008 10:48 AM
wishfulthinker03 at January 11, 2008 9:14 AM
I am in both categories now those who are feeling a little insecure about why a woman wants them may think oh she is just after a meal ticket because they only read that I am in the second category, like I said I want both.
Yes I know there are women out there that use men and only wnat those in the position to provide, i mean we have to be realistic here but there are men that do this too especially in today's world.
In my position this is how it is for me. This may change in the future if I become more finacially secure and have a great career but would it be any better if I just wanted a man for his body.
One thing is for sure the people who truely know me will tell you that you will always know where you are with me I am not into games.
I am who I am and I have what I have or haven't got, I am not expecting anyone to agree with the way that I am, I only want the right one for me that I can love and respect.
Posted by: mstingle at January 11, 2008 10:46 AM
northern9 at January 11, 2008 6:04 AM
Yes I agree with your second comment about a woman may be in demand but she also has to have a lot to give in return when being selective. There is another angle too, a woman may not realise her worth until she finds that she is in demand there fore this may be a good thing becuase she will then realise that she can slow things down in regard to settling for just anyone and wait until she finds someone that is more suitable for her. This would also be the case for males.
Posted by: mstingle at January 11, 2008 10:33 AM
I think everyone wants to be with someone they are attracted to on all levels. I don't think women can be pigeon-holed into two categories, either looking for a provider or a lover. We could be very cliche and say 'we want both in the same man' but I shudder to think what that might bring to the inbox!
I don't think looks are everything, you often see drop dead gorgeous women out with men you'd not look at twice and vice-versa, so it can't be purely physical attraction (although good looks are subjective but when enough of you at the one time make the same comment, it isn't just 'you').
Can I put my order in for a lover with a side-dish of provider to go?
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 11, 2008 9:14 AM
northern9 - yep - cuts both ways.
women are still either damned whores or gods police, in a lot of cases. (an Aust book from the 70's)
Posted by: today122 at January 11, 2008 6:54 AM
One thing that no one mentions is “expectation.”
It concerns me when I see an increasing number of eponymously listed “Former Members” but not “No longer a member of this site” in my inbox.
Ladies. Please match your expectation to reality. Some of us try to be polite but sometimes I wonder if even politeness can be wasted.
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 11, 2008 6:41 AM
onlinedatingexpert..while you have several good points.
I am at a loss to understand how you came up with the opinion that a "provider"male is a disaster in bed.
You seem to be working off the premise that women fall into only the two categories you refer to. either looking for a provider or a " boy Toy".
I think that women are looking for both to varing degrees. If she has been successful in business she may need a man around only for pleasure,be it social or physical. Yes, she may not require,or want somebody to look after her so to say.
Yes,the advent of 'the net.' does mean that any individual can meet more people. The more replies a women has the more she can ask for as she is -pardon the term--in demand.
The problem with this is that that cuts both ways. She has to have more to offer as well.
Physical beauty only goes so far.
in the end,it's what is inside the shell that counts.
IMHO.
Posted by: northern9 at January 11, 2008 6:04 AM
today122 at January 10, 2008 11:59 PM
Good night I will email you tomorrow.
Posted by: mstingle at January 11, 2008 12:46 AM
posts disappearing at the speed of light this evening. Makes reading this like reading a book with pages missing. oh well. that's the blogs for you
Posted by: today122 at January 10, 2008 11:57 PM
wishfulthinker03 at January 10, 2008 11:16 PM
Exactly.
Posted by: mstingle at January 10, 2008 11:42 PM
Very mysterious, Stratus. Maybe a programming glitch rather than an over-zealous moderator. Who knows? Time for my bed. Hopefully there will be some fun and merriment to be had on the blogs in the next day or two. Goodnight all!
Posted by: ninaschen at January 10, 2008 11:16 PM
MsTingle..you often see in their profiles their motobikes being referred to as their "mistress"...hmmm...makes you wonder where you'd come in the scheme of things!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 10, 2008 11:16 PM
jenjen57 at January 10, 2008 3:33 PM
Yes I am with you a guy on a bike (can look quite sexy) however a bike on it's own,lol. This made me laugh. You would have to worry if a man has to put a pin up of his bike in his profile, that you would be in competition with his bike, for his attention.
Posted by: mstingle at January 10, 2008 11:10 PM
Ninaschen
It seems to me to be a fairly quiet night on the blogs, and anything that is not on topic, quickly identified and removed, however, my first post today was relatively on topic, I thought, with a touch of added humour, only to see it disappear instantly.
Posted by: stratus65 at January 10, 2008 11:01 PM
What's a few thousand k's, long distance mischief now that would be called cybermischief.
Add that to the Maldives, Bob's bodacious, ODE's expose of RSVP woman and you would have a leisure centre full of merryment (not a typo, I did not mean merry men or perhaps I did), great profiles and permanent singles. For others this may mean permafrost.
Posted by: willow1059 at January 10, 2008 10:58 PM
No, no Stratus! Plenty of disillusionment out there for all of us. It will never run out. The project is our Taj Mahal. Our Camelot. Our Tara. It will be built, as God is my witness ... fade to us with our faces uplifted, hands on hearts and a shine in our eyes.
And posts are still disappearing?!?
Posted by: ninaschen at January 10, 2008 10:54 PM
wishfullthinker I think I may meet the capable of a "little mischief" you seek in your profile.
So I shall avoid creating the circumstances leading to profile anxiety as you suggest.
We could really do with Bob now, he surely could come up with a few choice words to describe the various ailments set in train by ODE earlier today.
status65 messages and voids were hand in hand recently.
Posted by: willow1059 at January 10, 2008 10:35 PM
today122, you have caught me out. I really have no idea and if I did I am too humble tonight to admit it.
I did do philosophy 101 at teachers college many moons ago. Am still trying to unscramble my brain after it. Neurons have become morons thereafter, so I am stuck in a permanent state of intellectual dysfunction.
Despite this impediment I await ODE's next installment about men tommorow, fearfull of the character weaknesses it may expose and the demons I will need to confront.
Who would have ever guessed a blog about profiles could become so interesting.
Posted by: willow1059 at January 10, 2008 10:22 PM
Willow, your profile is very different but that's what makes it stand out. Best you don't change it, would hate to think of someone suffering profile anxiety....life is too damn short!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 10, 2008 10:15 PM
ODE, I suspect my profile may lead the reader to all three states you refer to in the blog.
So for all bloggers that can overcome their shyness and social anxiety the possibility of creating an intractable state of approach anxiety seems very real upon reading it in full.
Of course, I could change my profile to something more mundane, however I may create a new disorder called profile anxiety, for me.
Perhaps over time you can apply your considerable philosophising skills to consider the plight of any person so afflicted.
Posted by: willow1059 at January 10, 2008 9:37 PM
Jenjen57, checked your profile. It doesn't suffer from what I was describing. (I'm thinking it may just be a phenomenon of the under-30s.) The headline is adorable.
abckenny, wishfulthinker03 - thanks, mateys!
ridersonthestorm74 , jenjen57, slightsynchronicity - not leaving RSVP. The thing on my profile is just part of the sales letter. ;-) It's a time constraint, meant to make me seem scarce. Haha, lot of good it did! Thanks for reminding me to change it to January 20 tomorrow!
willow1059 - Here's something you may find interesting from my installment HOW TO DEFEAT SHYNESS, SOCIAL ANXIETY, AND APPROACH ANXIETY, which can be found here: http://blogs.rsvp.com.au/2007/10/summer_lovin.html
"That's just an example of how many of these theories are developed. Those theories then commence their 5-year journey into the clinical setting. Modern physicists and anthropologists are well aware of the idea that the observer influences the observed, but many experimental psychologists take that idea into the realm of the absurd."
The crap I spout is very postmodern, you see! ;-)
I'll have the male sequel posted tomorrow. I've come up with three main crimes on male profiles. My current profile commits one or two of those three crimes. As a taste of what's to come, one crime is based on a belief I have that no male profile is going to seem honest and genuine -- or even appealing -- without some indication that the male is a conscious sexual creature. But there's a right way and a wrong way to go about it. Stay tuned. The other two crimes bore women to tears and have already been discussed at length here.
Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at January 10, 2008 8:40 PM
rider
Now that I think about it, I guess it is a bit like Trading Post isnt it ?
Here we all are, with our attention attracting adverts, a nice photo of the item up for grabs, all waiting for someone to choose us and take us home :)
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 10, 2008 4:32 PM
ODE :an interesting read...so today is your last day on RSVP as written in your profile...good luck
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 10, 2008 4:21 PM
ODE, careful, careful with all that binary thinking. Everything has changed since Days Primordial, and even then it would not have been that simple...providers were MORE not less important then than they are today, when women in our culture can provide for themselves. I venture to say that most women, if one MUST generalize like this, are looking for sexual partners AND providers: providers of companionship and love.
Posted by: lamuse at January 10, 2008 4:11 PM
HOW TO SMASH THE NUMBER ONE PRESUPPOSITION WHILE WRITING YOUR RSVP PROFILE - PART 1 (FOR GIRLS)
Disclaimer: For the newcomers, I am not really an online dating expert! I am eternally single like you! I post these things to amuse myself, to practise writing, to share any ideas that come my way, and to increase my exposure to women. Hey, at least three of those four motives succeed!
This two-part installment will help both men and women write a profile that eliminates what I think is one of the biggest yet unspoken pet peeves when it comes to browsing profiles on this site or any other online-dating site.
If you read enough profiles around here, eventually you'll perceive an underlying assumption, an unspoken protocol, a tacit belief, a presupposition that rather neatly divides RSVP profiles into two camps: the male profiles and the female profiles.
I'm convinced that, given a handful of RSVP profiles with all embedded gender information stripped out, the awareness of one presupposition alone would allow us to distinguish the male profiles and the female profiles with an accuracy of 80+%. (Let's assume that chance dictates exactly 50%, meaning that we're on a site where the male population doesn't outweigh the female population or vice versa. Yeah, I know -- haha.)
The presupposition is this: Men are here to impress; women are here to be impressed.
Obviously that presupposition is a carryover from the offline world with its traditional value system. We're gently reminded by Antonio Banderas in the dance movie Take the Lead that the man may take the lead, but it's always the woman who allows him to do so.
That men are less picky than women when it comes to sexual partners is something obvious to anyone who hasn't been living in a hermitage -- and maybe even then, if the hermitage has enough animal life around. If for some strange reason you really need your head pulled out from under you and brought back to Earth, first stop Saturn, simply stroll down to a local venue and watch the average guy hit on half a dozen girls, and the average girl hit on no guys while rejecting a dozen or more guys.
Note that I am mentioning sexual partners. Those who have read an earlier installment will understand that the male brain doesn't distinguish between lover and provider, whereas the female brain does. Females are less picky with selecting their providers than they are with selecting their lovers.
Contrary to what many men think, when women are describing what they look for in a guy, they are being upfront and honest. It's just that the majority of women will begin to describe the providers they look for, not the lovers. Hence we get the "someone smart, caring, funny, gentle, sensitive, loyal, stable, honest, well-mannered, pet-loving" and so forth. These guys usually end up hearing the refrain of "Not now, Honey, I'm tired" when they try for intimacy. Not the lover. If you were in the lover bin rather than the provider bin, you'd be getting some pretty powerful action. Don't believe me? Just consider what would happen if you were magically transported out of the room, with Gene Simmons filling your place. How much would you be willing to bet on "Not now, I'm tired"? I thought so.
It's NOT that women DON'T enjoy sex. Evolution made sure they DO find sex pleasurable. But only sex with a lover type. For you men reading this, I'm about to say something that may strike you in a very shattering way. And I don't even know whether it's true. That's right -- I don't know whether what I'm about to say is true. It's the result of an intuition or a flash of insight, something that popped up in the black abyss where plenty of interdisciplinary scientific research seems to converge. It may be wrong, but think about it. Here's the insight: A woman is evolutionarily programmed to find sex with a provider unfulfilling and unpleasurable. To understand why, we must remember that our brains are still wired for a time when there was no contraception. Lots of sex meant lots of kids. Given the female's desire both to ensure the genetic quality of her offspring and to protect her offspring, only lots of sex with an alpha male would be appealing and would compensate for the 9-month downtime and the pain of childbirth. If the alpha male flees, then having a beta-male provider around to help rear the kids is the next best thing. These days, women will choose a provider for rearing kids because providers tend to stick around and, well, provide. That's because government and industry have made the need for an alpha male to fend off attackers a thing of the past. Unfortunately, the female brain is still wired to find sex pleasurable only with males in the alpha-male lover category. That's my theory. The theory may sound like something you've heard before. But I bet that what you've heard before is more along the lines of a woman finding sex with a lover (alpha male) pleasurable, whereas when it comes to the provider (beta male), there's only an empty space, a fill-in-the-blank. Maybe you drew the conclusion that sex with a provider is rather neutral or passive at worst or mildly enjoyable at best. But what if it's worse than that? What if there is more of an evolution-installed active distaste there, something that makes sex with a provider unfulfilling and unpleasurable, like walking through a sewer, tolerated occasionally only out of an idle curiosity like that possessed by a sewer walker checking out what's down there? It's now almost poetic that the body's reproductive system doubles as its sewer system. There can be few other reasons why, in a committed relationship, the male usually has more of a sexual appetite than the female. It's remarkable that experiments have shown sex to be more pleasurable for women, in terms of raw sensations anyway.
But I digress.
Research shows that with an increase in choice, women become even more selective than normal. I'll explain what I mean. Introduce a guy to Attractive Girl #1 and he will feel attracted to her. Add in 49 other attractive girls, all the way up to Attractive Girl #50, and the guy would still feel attracted to and willing to date any single one of them. Introduce a girl to Attractive Guy #1, and assume she feels attracted to him. Add in 49 other attractive guys, all the way up to Attractive Guy #50, and the girl may no longer be willing to settle for Attractive Guy #1 or feel any kind of happiness around him. That's something to consider next time you receive a rejection kiss, guys. You may have stood a much better chance in a club, where there are few guys around. The numbers, which you assumed to be your friends, are actually your worst enemies -- IF you don't take drastic measures to stand out with your profile.
This increase in choice and its corresponding increase in female selectivity are the greatest forces you must contend with in online dating. If you meet a girl at a bar and successfully chat her up, maybe you were one of only a few guys who talked to her that night, reducing the field of contenders to a doable level and making you stand out by the social-psychological principle of contrast. But what if she had had dozens upon dozens of guys talking with her that night? How would you have fared then?
The increase in choice and the increase in female selectivity, those forces you must contend with on this site, make their presence known in one glaring way: through the presupposition already mentioned, magnified by a thousand. The presupposition now needs to be revised to this: Men are here to impress; women are here to be impressed down to a micro-T.
That women are here to be impressed down to a micro-T is evident in a lot of the phrasing that appears mostly -- "very mostly" -- on female profiles. Let's face it: In terms of relative numbers, how many male profiles do you reckon would contain phrasing such as "If you ... then DON'T contact me!" or "If you ... NO REPLY!" or "I don't want [shopping list follows]" or "If we can't start out as friends, then ..."? On a different matter, what do you think the relative numbers would be for using a stamp when receiving a "looking forward to your email" reply?
Pervading most female profiles is an inflated sense of entitlement, a princess syndrome. Being flooded 24/7 with kiss requests means the average woman can safely raise her standards to a towering level unheard of in real-life interaction. The problem comes from the basic economic principle of supply and demand. With few dream guys in supply and plenty of demand, the average woman will find herself with the shortest straw when the dream guys make use of their own sense of entitlement and selectivity and pick the bombshells. And if such a guy does happen upon her profile, what's the bet he'll be repulsed by the sense-of-entitlement tone of her profile anyway? After all, such guys can afford to be highly selective on the basis of personality.
The solution is simple. Stand out from other women by making your profile a Venus fly trap rather than toxic fly spray. Be the princess waiting for a knight rather than the princess whining about a chipped China plate. Change your profile from "pick pick pick pick" to "pick me! pick me!" Add some playful self-deprecation and witty insights about "those" high-maintenance women. Be a tomboy. There is nothing more endearing than a beautiful woman who's unafraid to eat some humble pie.
(Continued in part 2. Before female bloggers throw a fit, wait until you read the next installment, where we examine how the presupposition manifests itself in male profiles, repulsing plenty of women. Even my own profile is a victim to the presupposition!)
Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at January 10, 2008 3:53 PM
I have seen some profiles with just sunglasses ? 5 shots with sunglasses ? and here is a good tip. always include a body shot or at least waist up. I agree Jenjen why have a shot of just your bike? what is this TRADINGPOST ??
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 10, 2008 3:48 PM
rider
I think a lot of people dont actually ever buy stamps, and just hope whoever they send kisses to will send the email.
There was some discussion here some months ago with someone like that. They would keep kissing the same person over and over trying to get them to email.
Either you are genuinely looking for someone special or you arent I reckon. And if you are you will have a carefully thought out profile, photo(s)and stamps !!
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 10, 2008 3:38 PM
One thing that has me puzzled is why do men put photos of their motorbikes on their profiles.
If they are sitting on it thats fine, it is just another shot of them, but just the bike ?? I dont get it.
And holding up a big fish, at the beach with a big hat and sunglasses. Please dont make that your only shot, thats even worse than a glamour shot, because we cant see you at all !
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 10, 2008 3:33 PM
woodnwine-I guess they expect the men to make the first move, I know plenty of men and women who expect the guy/girl to make the move when they send a kiss..don't you just love the one's that have SORRY HAVE NO STAMPS in their profile! the search continues------------():
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 10, 2008 3:29 PM
One thing I avoid on profiles is glamour shots. I have met a few women with glamour shots and they turned out, obviously, to look very different in real life. If you are going to use a glamour shot, please don't make it the only photo.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 10, 2008 3:24 PM
Amen, Rider. Those would be the women who created "winning profiles" and get innundated with kisses. Under that pressure they are forced to be rude. Hope I have that problem one day! It's a buyers market!
Also noticed that strange pattern of how really short girls demand tall men (at least 6'). Possibly some Freudian explanation to do with parent-figures?
Posted by: poidar at January 10, 2008 2:52 PM
And that, rider, is a 64 million dollar question.
Happens to most of us it seems, a lot of the time, unfortunately.
There has been a lot of discussion over this very issue in the blogs over the last few months.
People are rude here, just like every else in life.
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 10, 2008 2:50 PM
why do women kiss me and then when I reply "looking forward to your email " never send the email? this happens 9 out of 10 times or when I send them a kiss and they reply " look forward to your email" don't respond ? people are just damn rude sometimes...hey RSVP ...I should get some credits back ...wish we could black list some profiles.
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 10, 2008 2:33 PM
Wish...best I get a haircut for that fisrt thing in the morning shot haha...not a bad idea
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 10, 2008 12:45 PM
Crikkey wf03 if i have to look into the mirror first thing ,i even scare myself. ps love the pic of you and your cat.
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 10, 2008 12:31 PM
Rider, nothing wrong with your photos at all! I'd prefer the men to look natural too (but please keep the shirt on and hide the dead fish). I'm guilty of "desiring" a tall man because I'm really tall too, but it's not set in stone. Anyone can have a studio shot done and with a bit of make-up even I'd look okay, but what happens when you DO catch up with that new "love" and they are not looking their best? Perhaps a "first thing in the morning" shot should be mandatory!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 10, 2008 12:05 PM
From what I have been told from the girls that I have had a chat with on RSVP and an observation of the Top 100..its all about the photo! Best I go get a modelling shot then strike a pose and let's get to it! VOGUE :) oh and I better also wear platforms so that I can be over 6 foot! What is it with 5foot 2 women wanting over 6 foot guys?
So it seems guys like girls in the Top 100 that look natural? And the women are chasing 6 foot models? Interesting
I must admit, give me a natural photo (not a glamour shot) any day.
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 10, 2008 11:42 AM
Poidar, I am now thinking that we all really need to look closely at our profiles, and maybe get a writer in, because if they are true duds....the prize would be....a lifetime with....and I get motion sick....should I mention that on my profile....and I thought maybe saying I was a rabid Collingwood supporter may put some men off?
Posted by: istj54 at January 10, 2008 7:29 AM
jenjen, yes my comment of zzzzzzzzzzz was due to some of the negative posts : )))
imanenigma and stratus65 good work on Monday night then. moreofamanforu made food apparantly. And Bob, you took off somewhere is that right?
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 10, 2008 1:20 AM
wraecca: hi this is only vaguely relevant but it relates to an interest in your profile. Adelaide while indeed having a vigorous broomball (and I think icehockey competition) also has an excellent Medieval Festival..in March or thereabouts??? (will check) A group who reenacts the medieval period, complete with garb has members who "knit??" the chain mail. It looks cool. The Medieval Fest is a good weekend if you ever get the chance...jousting, sword fights, bards............You probably heard of it before anyway. G'Night
jenjen: hope you get better soon, and also its ridiculous that we can not have some humour on this blog. The point of the humour was that some bloggers were disillusioned...the corner-room-house-resort???? seemed to cheer bloggers up. Bloggers were DISILLUSIONED DUE TO EXPERIENCES THEY HAD WITH PEOPLE THEY INTERACTED WITH FROM RSVP. BUT ON THE BLOG THEY WERE NOT ALLOWED TO VENT IN A HUMOROUS WAY. Not yelling, just using capitals. How was Monday nights silliness offensive?
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 10, 2008 1:13 AM
mstingle, I'm not sure, but then again, not many people have heard of it!!! There is the National Competition every year, last year it was in Canberra, not sure where it's being held this year. Always over the ANZAC Day period. They also have an International competition over in Canada, if I remember correctly. Every couple of years, I think.
Posted by: wraecca at January 10, 2008 12:45 AM
kransky
I'm with wraecca.
I am an expat Kiwi and in NZ the All Blacks are almost a religion. Have been supporting them for 40 yrs plus.
What is`wrong with women being strong supporters of a footy team?
Or saying so on their profile ?
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 10, 2008 12:42 AM
Kransky, I have my chosen AFL team (the Magpies) in my profile. I have been barracking for them since I was old enough to wear a Collingwood beanie. I may not know every single player's name (although my sister does, strangely enough), but I think that is partly because for the past 9 years I've been living in states where AFL takes a big back seat to NRL.
Posted by: wraecca at January 10, 2008 12:37 AM
Wishfulthinker03, yep, I 'knit' chainmail. I've even got a 10kg shirt to prove it. It's long and laborious, but also heaps of fun :)
Jenjen, Broomball is a game that is played on ice. It originated in Canada. It's very similar to ice-hockey, except you wear special shoes (or Dunlop Volleys) and run on the ice. The stick is also different, with a rubber wedge on the end, and the ball that you use is about 15cms across and made of rubber. I haven't played since I left the ACT at the end of 2006, but I love the game and still have all my gear. They play it in Townsville, Brisbane, Sydney, ACT, Coffs Harbour and Adelaide, if I remember correctly. I used to play in goals.
Posted by: wraecca at January 10, 2008 12:34 AM
My pet peeves in a woman's profile:
(a) The poorly cropped photo with the dismembered man's arm draped over a girl's shoulder.
(b) The word "bubbly". It is one word a lady should never describe herself as. Say you are friendly, warm or outgoing instead. The word "bubbly" to me suggests one is talkative, superficial and totally out of control of one's senses.
(c) Odd choices for sports. Don't list activities you would only do on holiday and nothing else. And don't go over the top saying you support a particular football team (GO THE [whatever]!!!!). Guys are indifferent and see through that.
(d) Declaring your left wing tendencies, but oddly having racial preferences in your partner.
(e) And not using punctuation. Or using too much of it (especially exclamation marks)
Posted by: kransky at January 10, 2008 12:34 AM
Wraecca...you knit chainmail?? That's unique! I worked with a guy who was into medieval festivals and the like and went to a wedding at a huge medieval festival in Arizona...profile reads well...glad you've found someone...so there is hope for the rest of us!!!!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 10, 2008 12:23 AM
hi
a few of us in Brisbane are arranging a little meet and greet in the next couple of weeks of fellow bloggers from this neck of the woods - SE Qld. So if anyone would be interested, please email either me, timewarp1 or jenjen57 for details.
Could be fun - and put some voices and faces to some words.
and see if we really do match out photos.
have fun all
Posted by: today122 at January 9, 2008 7:55 AM
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 10, 2008 12:18 AM
Well, I challenge the bloggers to find another female on this site (or even a male on this site) who can 'knit' chain mail, has played Broomball, or uses Anglo-Saxon in their everyday vocabulary (and I MEAN Anglo-Saxon, not what has evolved into our language today). Oh, I also own 'Hercules Returns' (that cult Aussie classic) on DVD :D
Poidar, took a look at your profile, very amusing :)
Posted by: wraecca at January 10, 2008 12:09 AM
Jenjen...profile looks great....reads well, and is very "you". Wish I could get inspired to "tweak" mine too...but alas....I'm afraid I'll be inundated with even more crazies than I get now!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 10, 2008 12:08 AM
Istj54,
A brain to go with the looks - I am screwed on both fronts - god, you women are picky' and I even said "salaciously bodacious".
Rider,
You haven't seen my profile obviously - been nowhere, seen nothing, and happy to continue
MsTingle,
Dont let 'em get to you, not worth your effort.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 10, 2008 12:05 AM
Suzie and wishfulthinker
Have now been inspired to tweak my profile........criticism, constructive or otherwise, would be appreciated :)
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 9, 2008 11:59 PM
Yeah, Rider ...now that you mention it. Hmmm...
Have yet to see a profile stating any dislike of travel. Even indifference to travel is unheard of.
Doesn't anyone get motion sickness anymore?
Posted by: poidar at January 9, 2008 10:47 PM
mmmm...another thing ...it seems everyone ( female that is ) did a stint /tour of duty in the U.K in their profile.Gee, would love to read one that says Europe instead...yes yes I know about the age thing...but interesting that all these women are on this site ?? mmmmm
Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at January 9, 2008 10:31 PM
isti54
I believe the RSVP special prize for having the best profile is a contact for you to stay on this site for a full ten years, for woman she gets as much chocolate as she can eat whilst for a man it is as much beer as he can swill.
The person with the worst profile each year is simply forced to go and live in NZ..... hope you enjoy counting sheep !
Posted by: hermanhesse at January 9, 2008 9:38 PM
It's easier to say what NOT to put in a profile, innit.
I'm calling for a moratorium on the phrase "my friends say I am a bit crazy".
Can I hear an "Amen" brothers?
Any woman who says such is only "crazy" in the most normal, bland and hypocritical sense. You can guarantee that her definition of crazy extends only to having a Garfield the cat plaque on her partition wall that says "You don't have to be mad to work here, but it helps".
Everyone thinks they're a bit mad/crazy/whacky/zany/madcap/eccentric/off-the-wall ...but there's nothing more stone-cold-sober-sane than simply saying so.
If you say you're crazy then you better be sewing meat helmets and smearing the curtains with your own excrement or I'm just not gonna be impressed. ...and impressing me is why we're all here, of course.
Posted by: poidar at January 9, 2008 9:31 PM
Help!! I came here to get some tips on getting a better response rate to my kisses but find that its all about the photo!?! I know mine are rubbish, but the camera hates me! Is there any advice?
Also, if I do get a positive response (in about 60 kisses), I usually manage to get a response to my first email, but my 2nd - people seem to disappear! No suggestive talk, very few questions, all usually built upon whats in her profile.. Is it 'off-putting' if a guy writes too much in an email (nothing about exes or negatives...)? (Its a bit tough when you've spent a stamp...)
Posted by: greattimestocome at January 9, 2008 9:28 PM
Oh something to ponder have you ever read a profile one day, thought it was good then read it again next day and changed your mind? I am guessing how good or bad it may be might depend also on the mood we are in on that day ??
Posted by: thetinman68 at January 9, 2008 9:28 PM
Necroticfish,
I think if you replied to a letter in such a manner you must have the "winning" profile because you must be Jason Bourne, James Bond, Kavanah, Perry Mason et al, all rolled into one...plus you still have a thing for teachers to boot...or at least your fourth grade teacher.
You are quite right, though, about divulging too much personal stuff online. Best to be careful.
Also, that penpals stuff with another school can throw up surprises too. A few years ago I did that and one of my students saw the list from the other school and said, "That's my cousin!!!" Turns out the family had gone into hiding and there they were. Dangerous stuff.
Lesson here all: Lie, lie, lie!!
RSVP: What is the prize for the winning profile?...can't wait to hear.
Posted by: istj54 at January 9, 2008 9:11 PM
UCLA STUDY - VERY INTERESTING & SHORT
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For example: If she is ovulating, she tends to be more attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.
joke joyce...
Posted by: gopiesdotcom at January 9, 2008 8:59 PM
lilmissmcdreamy at January 9, 2008 6:51 PM
Aesthetic beauty does play a large role in how people are treated and will have more people initially attracted to them, (evolutionary) however after they have been won over if they are not also a person that has something else to contribute to the liaison, it will have a detrimental affect. The relationship will then be vulnerable to the possibility of a break up.
Posted by: mstingle at January 9, 2008 8:14 PM
Istj54
May I answer your query about women who write long letters to men.
Your average male would respond:
“Oh I do so love your nice long letter Mavis (is that your real name and do you have a photo to show that you may actually exist, and why are you so fat anyway, don’t you have a better photo). I simply love answering 50 interrogative questions about all aspects of my personal life from someone who to all intents and purposes (seeing your are but a few cyber dots and where did you pinch that photo from and are you sure you are a woman and not a dog) could just as easily be the Tax Department, The Crime Commission, The Child Support Agency and the CIA. So let me now sit down to divulge every intimate detail of my personal life to you, you wonderful piece of cyber mythology, in an equally long letter to you and seeing my whole purpose of being on this site is to repeat the childhood experience my 4th grade teacher forced us to indulge in by writing dubious letters to 50 Chinese penfriends, and not the adult sport of racing as fast as possible to pillow talk, and seeing I am half drunk anyway, I love answering your 50 page crossexamination and do you intend taking silk in the near future as I need to take both a piss and the piss out of you. Signed.
I’m Only Here for Penfriends,
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 9, 2008 8:11 PM
lilmissmcdreamy at January 9, 2008 6:42 PM
That is so sweet, but maybe we need to stop talking about it incase the other person involved is reading the blog. Not because I don't want the person to know we are talking about it, just that it could maybe do some damage to them and may be they are having problems and this could be why they behaved the way that they did. thank you for your concern anyway.
I am not perfect either, none of us are hopefully everything will be okay with everyone.
Posted by: mstingle at January 9, 2008 7:59 PM
hey tinman, its the not so perfectly worded profiles i like the most they are usually the honest ones.. its a shame most of them are not in my neck of the woods..and i say put up a pic whether its not your best hair day or you look a little fat..who cares..i certainly dont..geez check out my helmet hair...LOL..
Posted by: hondalady at January 9, 2008 7:58 PM
tambelina at January 9, 2008 6:24 PM
Hi there not to worry, I should not have responded to the person, it is best to ignore negitive stuff as notgodsgift pointed out. I suppose I am fine most of the time but a little sensitive when someone has a go, I was under the impression that your toughened up as you get older but I semm to be in reverse I seem to be getter softer, never mind. It happened and today as I said this morning is another day. However I was also touched by the support that I got from caring bloggers which obviously includes you.
Posted by: mstingle at January 9, 2008 7:54 PM
Ok I have a question why should we learn to write up a perfectly worded profile when realisticly it isnt what or how we would do it in real life, I see a well worded profile as someone who cares about what there trying to convey across , a poorly writen one to me is someone who couldnt realy give 2 hoots about if they get a kiss sent or not, as for hondalady I agree put a pic of a model type lady/gentleman up and it wont matter what it says I bet she would be flooded with kiss's. Just my view thats all
Posted by: thetinman68 at January 9, 2008 7:26 PM
Auntykaz,
I agree with you in that it is really difficult to write a letter to someone who gives you nothing to go on in their profile.
A friend of mine is very serious about all this and trawls through men's profiles and writes letters based on what she reads about them...she does very well too...and, no...it's not me...but do any other bloggers go about rsvp this way...not sending kisses but letters based on profile content?
I think we all use the site in different ways and for differing purposes.
and Hondalady, your pictures are pretty good...so is your profile:)
But you are right, humans are extremely visual beings and nothing much is going to change that. Just the way it is...and if you can find a brain to go with the looks...wow!!
Posted by: istj54 at January 9, 2008 6:57 PM
hondalady....i agree with you, i think a lot of people judge a person by their looks. Sure looks play an important part in finding a partner...but some people seem to think its the most important. each to their own i guess
Posted by: lilmissmcdreamy at January 9, 2008 6:51 PM
Posting a winning profile hey? I know just a thought why don't we ask the top 100...or is it just that their pictures are nicer...get real..i don't think it matters what you put in your profile...the people on here are so shallow..its all about posting a winning pic.
Posted by: hondalady at January 9, 2008 6:45 PM
tambelina, just scrolled back thru wat was written last night, and i am not sure y mstingle was attacked in the first place, do you?....she certainly seems a lot nicer than the one that attacked her.
Posted by: lilmissmcdreamy at January 9, 2008 6:42 PM
Hi all, i hear that Mstingle was attacked last night. And by the comments today it was not nice. I am sorry to hear that some one would attack you so Mstingle, hope you are alright.
Hmm the perfect profile! I believe that is up to the individual, that is the one reading the profile, to determine what is perfect and what is not. Like the saying someones trash is another persons treasure. Not to say that myself aor anyone else on here is trash as I believe we are all treasures.
Posted by: tambelina at January 9, 2008 6:24 PM
Northern9 sometimes its easier to just ignore things than worry about them.
And to get back onto the topic......What is the perfect profile??
You may think you have it but is it really you??
My girlfriend's profile is like a narrative and works well, as do others, but sometimes talking about yourself is so difficult.
Some of those l have seen here are very witty and smart which appeals to me as l love that.
Others, and sorry guys but l do mean men here, have no info on them.
How can you respond to that???
...........................K
Posted by: auntykaz at January 9, 2008 6:15 PM
Woohoo yes I made it now I have forgot what I was going to say damn!!
Its ok I will just spend next 3 day reading up on how to come up with a better profile
Posted by: thetinman68 at January 9, 2008 5:32 PM
Since when have we ever stayed on "topic". There is only so much to be said about what can and does make a good profile, we did it to death in Deal Makers/Breakers....so yes, the Maldives became a fun distraction....no harm....all good.....all gone :(
Jen leave the pics..they are great and so "you"....
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 9, 2008 5:01 PM
I love this site.
Especially when profiles are altered to take a swipe.
One sweetie made the following additions to her profile after a short sharp encounter with me.
Added :” NOT "single" "seperated " (sic) or "nevermarried"- she wants a divorced man.
Added: the words “masculine” and similar personality to her lordship, “not a weak quiet feminine opposite” (whoa baby)
“A Man with feelings (added- “& a superior brain”) would be good!” Whoo Hoo!
Queen Boadicea of the Profile; ex Blog Queen or is that Iron Chef (as seen on TV))
OMG. The year is only young. I’m in raptures already.
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 9, 2008 5:00 PM
Monday night was full of lots of harmless fun, but apparently i read some where that straying off blog topic is not allowed. Now I thought we were all adult enough to self moderate.... maybe not. Seems we are the eldest kindergarten class in the country :)
Some of last nights early posts made reference to fun from Monday and they have gone too.
Posted by: dolphin46 at January 9, 2008 4:33 PM
You're right, Kenny. Monday night was an absolute hoot! And it was great to see some new bloggers join in. Honestly, RSVP what was the harm? I think you are overdoing the censorship. You are dealing with adults.
Posted by: ninaschen at January 9, 2008 4:30 PM
I didn't see Monday night's blogs so missed all the fun but RSVP, why were they removed. What laws did they break?
Posted by: woodnwine at January 9, 2008 3:48 PM
They were lighthearted, a lot of frivolity and fun.
Guess that's what laws they broke??.
RSVP is serious business you know
Posted by: abckenny at January 9, 2008 4:10 PM
moreofaman4u
New piccys , yay !!
Must do the same, mine are getting a bit out of date.
Hate for someone not to recognise me now my hair is longer, hehe
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 9, 2008 3:37 PM
Think everyone else got bored and went home to tweak their profiles :)
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 9, 2008 3:09 PM
wow does that mean we will have all new and updated profiles, omg be nice now wouldn't
Posted by: moreofaman4u at January 9, 2008 3:19 PM
Hi
Same problems here !!
Sign in, not signed in, sign in etc 6 times................gggrrrrrr
Think everyone else got bored and went home to tweak their profiles :)
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 9, 2008 3:09 PM
moreofaman4u at January 9, 2008 2:57 PM
I went off to lunch in town and just got back, others are having trouble signing in. I have also had probles for a few days with having to keep signing in and now you have had to reload a few times. I am not sure what is going on.
Posted by: mstingle at January 9, 2008 3:06 PM
Hi Northern9,
Proposed before but very hard for RSVP to actually enforce because people just go out and set up multiple profiles and start all over again - nice thought though.
The only way RSVP might be able to do something serious about it would be to put a price on membership, but that would just mean that they would lose members by droves. I guess we just have to live with these things. I think the best way to deal with these things is for no-one to respond; they'll soon get bored with being ignored.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 9, 2008 12:48 PM
northern9 at January 9, 2008 12:37 PM
Thank you for your post and your concern. However the last thing I said was to the person, that I should not have responded to there attack and that really the person should be pitied, after all, She does not know me, I am not generally rude to other bloggers in fact I have been mostly supportive but for some reason this person has come out twice and attacked me, once when I was only new and now.
Therefore it is probably best ignored.
Thankyou anyway.
Posted by: mstingle at January 9, 2008 12:47 PM
notgodsgift at January 9, 2008 12:25 PM
Yes I totally agree most bloggers on here do deal with things in a mature rationally way even when they do not agree on issues. However every now and again some will viciuosly attack someone out of the blue, as it were seen last night and I did respond in away that I do not normally do. However I was not the only one to respond and it was not done in away as nearly as vicious as the instigator.
However that was yesterday today is a new day.
Posted by: mstingle at January 9, 2008 12:42 PM
Personal Opinion and Personal Attack.
As Human beings have we a diversity of opinion.
Being able to share these in an intelligent rational manner is always welcome. Having a different opinion is welcome, as it opens debate.
When the line is crossed as it was last night with the attack upon is mstingle, then action has to be taken.
I am asking that the users of this board band together and ask RSVP to institute a policy of Zero Tollerance toward those who attack the person.
I am asking that any Personal attack be dealt with by removal from this forum permanently.
I welcome your thoughts.
Posted by: northern9 at January 9, 2008 12:37 PM
MsTingle,
Glad to see that was all cleared up.
I agree that people will not always agree, but what a boring old world if we did. To me, its about respecting someone's right to their opinion and, if you disagree so strongly that you must respond, do it with the same level of respect and civility that you would like to receive.
The world is a nasty enough place already without RSVP bloggers getting into a slanging match about topics as trivial as "proper English", peoples flaws or the colour of your undies!!
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 9, 2008 12:25 PM
Avoided at all costs....let's see....how about cropped photos where you are entwined with your last "nearest and dearest"....always a bit of a put-off, or men topless, leave something for us to discover down the track, or photos of your latest "boy-toy", the 1100cc motorbike or the V8 car.
A must: Spellcheck (sorry, just read the blogs earlier), leave out references to the ex, hold back on the cliches (Yes, we all know you want a friend, a soulmate and a lover and all to be the same person!), and pick another movie other than Shawshank Redemption as your favourite (or be prepared to do a 20 question pop-quiz on that movie!)....
New topic please....
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at January 9, 2008 11:44 AM
notgodsgift at January 9, 2008 8:30 AM
Yes bob, I did thanks, I was tired and I decided to go to bed when someone negative came on.
Thank you for your post, I think like yourself, there are some intelligent men and women on the blog that are a pleasure to converse with and at times, I should say often, a really laugh. What I also find refreshing is that most of us if there has been an understanding it is usaully cleared up and that is great, we wont always agree on things but that is okay too.
Posted by: mstingle at January 9, 2008 11:44 AM
sign in, not signed in, sign in..........
ggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
woodnwine
Yes this topic is getting a bit boring on its own, isn't it. Hence all the mayhem and general silliness on Monday night !!
And the NYE topic really has been done to death, stray off it at your peril :)
RSVP/Karina, how about a new topic ?
Or , better still, how about we make some suggestions, and you pick one, or two.
Better even again, can we please have an open blog where we can free for all ?
(home with flu still, not thinking clearly :( )
Posted by: jenjen57 at January 9, 2008 9:53 AM
This topic is getting a little boring on its own. I heard that there were some good posts made on Monday night that everyone enjoyed but they were deleted. Why? Isn't the idea of blogs for people to have fun and chat about what interests them. Why so many rules and regulations? So long as posts are not offensive, what harm can they do? Bring back the fun and I and many others will join in - once we have signed in 6 times.
Posted by: woodnwine at January 9, 2008 9:31 AM
Hi Wendy,
You know, I almost finished the comment with "Goodbye", but thought that it might lose something in making the point.
Of course your son might have realised that you are checking out guys on RSVP......and making a very specific observation - hope you weren't looking at my profile at that moment!!!
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 9, 2008 9:08 AM
NF - The only way you could be living next door to Cary Grant is if you lived next door to the cemetery.........perhaps being six feet under would explain why you never noticed him before.
Posted by: misswendyxx at January 9, 2008 9:01 AM
Bob - Funny you should mention the biggest loser..........whilst I was looking at this site, my 9 year old son comes in and says.........I know what you are looking at mum........to which I say....... and what is that? He says you are looking up the "biggest loser".......of course he meant the show..........hehehe
Posted by: misswendyxx at January 9, 2008 8:56 AM
Moderators,
Dont know if you actually read these blogs, but some good stuff comes out; even from me.
How about tailoring the Profile data specifically to men and to women - requirements and options different. C'mon Katrina, you are a woman and know the types of things about which you (or other women) are sensitive.
Classing women who dont fit the specific moulds of "slim, athletic, a bit overweight, largish, etc" as "average" is a bit harsh. Surely you can think of a few other options that are more specific in their descriptive nature?
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 9, 2008 8:52 AM
SSC,
Re Girly and Blokey subject matter in profiles.
Yeah, I thought that might be the case and I agree with somee of the info that comes out re books and films; all very informative, but tends to suggest that they are limiting their options to what I would suggest they see as their intellectual equals.
Just a final point to everyone.
If you believe a group of people are "losers", but constantly hang around them haranguing them that they are losers; that makes you the biggest loser of all.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 9, 2008 8:44 AM
NF,
"Losers Corner" - Sounds like a great place to be, sitting around with a bunch of people with whom you have plenty in common and drinking - usually called "socialising".
Ms Tingle,
Hope you saw my response to you before they pulled it down last night re you quoting me inadvertantly. If not, basic tone was "no problems, just my ego and no apologies necessary".
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at January 9, 2008 8:30 AM
"PS;Mods of RSVP you need to include some alternate kiss replies; eg sent misswendyxx
a kiss 'just to say nice photos',reply flattered but not interested, duh of course she is not misswendyxx lives in 'if i remember correctly' Vic.. heheheh"
Posted by: safe2go at January 8, 2008 11:51 PM
I totally agree that we need more appropriate kiss replies. I have a lot of kisses sitting in my inbox from interstaters that I "think" are just compliments and I have not replied to because I don't want to bounce back a negative reply. Safe2go I did accept it as a compliment but when you keep cruising my profile which of course is okay, then I thought perhaps it might have been more than just a compliment. Gosh....I don't know I have lost my crystal ball.
NF - I think you mean G & T's.
Diamondblue2 - I had a "vision" last night that we might see you on the blogs............or was that just in my sidebar? Please no kisses....you're interstate. Anyway, nice to see you here again, I am tipping you had a tipple.
Posted by: misswendyxx at January 9, 2008 8:25 AM
INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO LEAVE THIS SITE?
1. Click on “Home”
2. Click on “Account Details”
3. Click on “Terminate”
4. Fill out their nauseous questionnaire on “why are you leaving” (“Met the man of my dreams”)
5. Fill out their ensuing freestyle comment box (“I just met Cary Grant and he was living next door to me all the time and I just didn’t notice.”
6. Confirm your termination.
7. Wait for the free movie pass that rsvp send to all leaving customers who tick the right termination boxes and make nice remarks upon leaving
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 9, 2008 8:18 AM
Posted by: neuroticfish at January 9, 2008 7:50 AM
NF: Hi there, I disagree with you, which is unusual : ))) Some bloggers who have been helping each other with profile changes and suggestions are doing so, to assist each other to get off the site. Last night on the blog, it was friendly, funny and saucy with a lot of laughs. References from women about men are about what men put on their profiles. Hey, I said everyones beauty was with in and things like that. I would not comment on a woman's photos or profile that they were nice if I thought they were not. Perhaps you were not given the photo password to some you wanted to see? My comments are genuine. Oh and I commented a while ago NF, when you added more photos that they were good and that you looked happy in them. Did you think I was trying to hit on you, as it was simply a friendly comment. Your wordage on your profile says little, less is more misswendyxx said, so perhaps that works for you. Most of what has been said here is in a spirit of cooperation. I love this blog but do not think I can stand being on RSVP for too long. There are plenty of real men left, most men are not liars and not sure about the infidel comment. You may think we are losers, but I happen to enjoy the company of the other bloggers. We do not think we are losers either but thanks for the feedback. Please tell me what you think of my profile change if you can be bothered. I would not mind some male feedback.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 9, 2008 8:10 AM
hi
a few of us in Brisbane are arranging a little meet and greet in the next couple of weeks of fellow bloggers from this neck of the woods - SE Qld. So if anyone would be interested, please email either me, timewarp1 or jenjen57 for details.
Could be fun - and put some voices and faces to some words.
and see if we really do match out photos.
have fun all
Posted by: today122 at January 9, 2008 7:55 AM
Posted by: enerald at January 8, 2008 11:08 PM
either you are erudite & understand the tautology of the English/Australian language, or you don't.
Nice word usage enarald, yes if a person is not natural in their word use, it will sound awkward, and why use more difficult or unusual words in writing if it would not be reflected in a real life meeting. Now there is a way to dissapoint!
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at January 9, 2008 7:50 AM
BLOGSPEAK:
Wh