RSVP Blog
First Impressions Do Count
It was the English writer William Hazlitt who once said that first impressions are often the truest. But did you know that when you meet someone for the first time, it takes a measly three seconds before they're judging whether or not you're suitable partner material? That's right folks; you've got barely a blink before you've been looked up and down and boxed into either being date-worthy or dump-worthy. Ouch.
So if you're finding it tough to meet someone of the opposite sex, perhaps you should become better groomed, move out of your parent's home and quit smoking to increase your chances. This is according to a recent survey titled KISS AND TELL: WHAT REALLY GETS IN THE WAY OF A GOOD DATE? carried out by RSVP, which interviewed 735 people and discovered some startling results.
The qualities that singletons would "absolutely insist on when agreeing to dates or meetings"? Surprise, surprise, it's that their date be well groomed. Yep, ladies if you're looking for love, it might be a good idea to get out the old comb, slap on some lippy, make sure your nail polish isn't chipped and your legs aren't too hairy. Speaking of hair, gents, it might be an idea to wax off some of it peaking out of your business shirt, put some gel in your hair and spritz on a little cologne (although go easy on the Old Spice - too much is a turn off too!).
The survey found that intelligence was ranked in second place (apparently contrary to popular opinion, men do in fact like smart women); while a GSOH (good sense of humour) came in at number three. Not-surprisingly, the fact that their date needs to be a non-smoker came in at number four, while being blonde got a mere seven votes. (Yep, blondes aren't always the ones who have the most fun!)
When the respondents were asked how they would judge someone at a speed dating event where the stakes are high and you've got three minutes to impress before you're scurried onto the next date, not having a job was ranked as the highest turnoff. Being a smoker came in second place and someone who drinks a little bit too much alcohol came in at number three. (Hint: go easy on the champagne on the first date - you don't want to end up on the floor before the oysters have even arrived.)
The poll also found that if you still live with your parents (especially if you're over 30), don't expect a follow-up date, while someone who doesn't exercise isn't such hot property either.
Ever wondered why your blind date stood you up? Perhaps it's because they came to the cafe or restaurant only to find you clicking your fingers at the waiter, lighting up a cigarette, checking yourself out or pouring the dregs of your cappuccino from your saucer into your cup. But do not fear, if you licked your spoon the survey showed that lickers only received five negative votes, so you're safe for now.
Of course everyone knows that the key to impressing someone on first glance is quite simple: be yourself. While it might sound a little cliche, trust me on this one because as many unimpressed singletons can attest, phoney folks are never attractive.
And if all else fails, as long as you can make your date laugh (without trying too hard), you should be in with a good chance...
What do you think? Do first impressions count? Can you fall in love at first sight? What's the thing that turns you off immediately?
P.S. Thank you to everyone who's commented on my RSVP blog series with the emphasis on why smoking is the biggest turn off when it comes to getting a date. Keep commenting and sending in your suggestions and happy dating! Love Sam. xx
Posted by November 28, 2007 5:31 PM
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Latest Comments
Thanks for the kind words, all.
slightsynchronicity - not usually into experiments, but I do have a strong interest in attempting to change people's lives for the better by means of covert influence techniques. Or something like that anyway.
To show that females can master first impressions on RSVP too, my former girlfriend and current clubbing partner (OhNoLAKEMBA) redesigned her profile after a few lengthy chats with me. I told her to make herself seem approachable, unintimidating, and without baggage, so she did ... in her own way. I fear the irony and adorableness may be lost on some men.
Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at December 10, 2007 3:27 AM
Please excuse the terrible sentence construction and lack of commas. Not nice writing.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at December 10, 2007 3:09 AM
hi hermanhesse i am sure you are right with some ladies with not much on their profiles. Lots of men do not say much at all and when not much is said, they perhaps do not give a great first impression. Do you ever ask them to update their profile???
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at December 10, 2007 3:06 AM
ODE..hi, obviously I can not wait to see the video of your tips. Good point about chocolate. Yum, perhaps we can all put our favourite brands and type on the profile. Or hey a pic holding a chocolate and munching on it. Chocolate is a sensual food isn't it. Recently I found a dark chocolate with Chilli in it, Yum...I was blissed out and hardly eat sweets. so first impressions could be good if one of the parties gave chocolate providing they got the right type.
ODE do you have captives at your house for enforced experimentation? What uni did u go to
..or have u been closeted with chocolate and a suspense thriller novel? The posts are delightful and that comment was tongue in cheek etc.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at December 10, 2007 2:34 AM
Two eyes everything in moderation....even chocolate...........K
Posted by: auntykaz at December 10, 2007 12:36 AM
can't be all that bad for a girl can it?????...............K
only in excess....................
Posted by: twoeyes at December 9, 2007 11:50 PM
ODE keep it up especiallythe stories about chocolate.....can't be all that bad for a girl can it?????...............K
Posted by: auntykaz at December 9, 2007 11:46 PM
Signed - A Quilter (and inaugural member of the Qontas Club)
Posted by: ninaschen at December 9, 2007 5:12 PM
..and havent both those two groups grown..............
Posted by: twoeyes at December 9, 2007 11:21 PM
Being selective (and I believe that 99% of us here are) I have just scanned through 800 or so female profiles in a large age bracket.
The lack of detail in many makes me wonder just what they thinking. The lack of a photo isn't the real issue, it is the lack of substance about what they really are like and what they are seeking.
Perhaps I have lost my way after being out of this searching scene for almost 15 years.
First impressions with some in real life would be interesting to say the least. There must be a considerable number of very patient and determined people on this site.
Posted by: hermanhesse at December 9, 2007 10:08 PM
Notbeachbloke
Bit confused ..........you have no photo at all, and your profile says you are female.
Posted by: jenjen57 at December 9, 2007 9:34 PM
Notthebeachbloke
Probably is a good idea to have as up to date a photo as possible on your profile, but some of us, me included, do not. Personally I see the photo as giving you a general idea of what someone looks like and if it is a year or 2 or so years old, big deal. Most of us don't change appearance that significantly in a few years. And in any case there is so much more to all of us than what we look like........what is on the inside being far more important than the wrapping.
And good luck with those bedroom eyes, make boob comments and no self respecting woman will go anywhere near you, as she will see you as a shallow insensitive male. Well said FP !!
Posted by: jenjen57 at December 9, 2007 9:29 PM
Northebeachesbloke-if you can't say anything nice about the female of the species, why say anything at all.
It would perhaps be in your own best interest to keep it to yourself....
lest you be judged unfairly. Same as the women you are unfairly judging.
Posted by: femalepersuasion at December 9, 2007 8:58 PM
First impressions are important but now I am wiser and older I think you should give the other person a go unless they are downright rude or ignorant. I have been prone to judging before I have even met the person and it was such a stupid thing to do. This person is still on RSVP and i wish i had the guts to contact him again but cest la vie. Karma - i was too judgemental and lost. At least I am honest I suppose
Posted by: jaspercat at December 9, 2007 7:39 PM
Photo's is another one,i read some where on here that its a good idea to update your photo after three months or there abouts,im seeing photo's on here that are at least two and a half years old.
Thank god for my bed room eye's there real unlike some boobs I've seen.
Posted by: northerbeachesguy at December 9, 2007 7:16 PM
Well done ODE I was just wondering where you were...thank God you're back. Oh that's god, I'm an atheist, I forgot.
WOoooo....what's with the compliments, amdoingit and others....ignore the profile for a moment and check out Neuroticfish's posts, girls, they are weird ... misogynistic, rambling, neurotic. This guy used to be known as EarlWyoming if I'm not mistaken. Anyone can make up a false profile...and if you are a bitter old man in your fifties you might well create a profile with attractive photos of a man in his early forties, because that will pull the women. Whreas what you are actually like won't appeal to anyone. This is a man to avoid.
Posted by: waterbombe at December 9, 2007 5:42 PM
ODE
Love the Dick Cheney snarl impersonation. Looking forward to the video....do let us know when it is up :)
Posted by: jenjen57 at December 9, 2007 5:26 PM
ODE - You are a crack-up! I have been having a bit of a miserable day and your post has lightened it considerably. I do so admire intelligence and wordsmithship. You have bucket-loads of both.
Signed - A Quilter (and inaugural member of the Qontas Club)
Posted by: ninaschen at December 9, 2007 5:12 PM
P.S. Sometime over the next week, I plan to add a video to my profile. I'll let you know when it's added. Basically, I'll show in-field examples of how I make great first impressions on people at the local clubs, pubs, bars, libraries, shopping centres, etc.
Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at December 9, 2007 5:06 PM
Thanks, jovial. Hope you've been having a fine weekend.
Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at December 9, 2007 4:49 PM
onlinedatingexpert:
Excellent advice as always. I laughed out loud at the concept of posting a photo with chocolate all over your face. What a fantastic idea! hehehe.
Keep up the good work :)
Posted by: jovial67 at December 9, 2007 4:37 PM
HOW TO MASTER FIRST IMPRESSIONS WITH YOUR RSVP PHOTOS
(N.B. After spending hours each day brooding over the cruel replies to my last installment and my possibly poor etiquette in forcing people to read my tripe, I hit upon the startling realisation that, even though I have indeed hooked up RSVP bloggers to an electroshock device stolen from a psychiatric unit at Cumberland Hospital, and even though I have indeed propped up their eyelids with a set of toothpicks, there is still an element of free will in my coercive setup: All keyboards on the mainstream home-user market have page-up/page-down keys and a set of arrows. Furthermore, all graphical browsers have a vertical scrollbar, which, when used with a mouse or other cursor device, can be used to skip over my post. So I can now post with a clear conscience.)
Today we're going to discuss using the power of first impressions with your RSVP photos. This is a vast field, but I will limit myself to a few tactics you can employ right away to increase your chances a little in this lottery.
1. Taking advantage of lovemaps
Your mental stimulation for this installment comes from sexologist Dr. John Money and his theory of lovemaps. A lovemap is a subconscious imprint that a man or woman developed during childhood experiences, more specifically from the ages of five to eight.
One communication expert had the following to say about lovemaps:
"They can be positive imprintings. For example, perhaps your mother wore a certain perfume, your beloved father had a boyish grin, or your favorite teacher scrunched up her nose when she laughed."
She then goes on to describe how those positive stimuli are imprinted in the lovemap and can later be used to trigger states of attraction. In fact, if you go back to the sources, you'll find that there's the stronger belief that triggering a positive lovemap imprint, a process that has different names in different research efforts, is the ONLY way to generate attraction. Lovemaps are the key to great first impressions.
Back to the communication author:
"Lovemaps can be negative, too. Women, maybe you were molested as a child, so now you can never love a man with a leering smile. Men, maybe your cruel wicked aunt wore Joy perfume, so now any woman who gives you a whiff of Joy makes you want to flee like a bug blasted with insect repellent.
Lovemaps sometimes contain very convoluted paths. Early negative experiences can give them a strange twist. Women, maybe your father ran off with another woman, leaving you and your mother alone, so now, if your date so much as glances at a passing lady, you freak out. Gentlemen, perhaps your beautiful baby-sitter spanked you when you were five, but it stimulated your little genitals and felt good. So now, as an adult, you cannot fall in love with a woman unless she will give you love spankings."
OK, that's very interesting, but I don't like academic research that has no practical consequences. I like to look at academic research and ask myself how I can use the findings to further my personal goals -- in this case, my goal of dating 50-100 RSVP women simultaneously.
Obviously we can't know the positive imprints of every person out there, and even if we could, we're still restricted to images and text, so knowing that your dream guy or girl on RSVP was positively imprinted with a particular scent doesn't help your cause.
What we can do is look at positive imprints that are general in nature, i.e., positive imprints that tend to be shared by many people. In the case of women, we've all heard the popular idea that a woman seeks a man who reminds her of her father. Once again, it's obvious we must focus on general traits of fathers if we're to have mass appeal.
The father is generally perceived as the master and lord of the house, wielding high authority and power. Unfortunately, you're not going to attract a woman by being master and lord of your apartment. She needs to think of you as the master and lord of the world.
If we look at who's running the world these days, one man stands out as the epitome of authority and power. This man is feared by both allies and foes alike. This man is the power base of the US presidency. This man has minions who either have escaped being convicted of high crimes or who have had their sentences commuted when convicted.
And that is how it came to pass that on this lovely Sunday I decided that the way to positively associate myself and my profile with power and authority was to throw up a photo of my Dick Cheney snarl impersonation. Men may wish to follow suit and throw up their own impersonations of powerful figures. Women may wish to stop at throwing up.
2. The power of chocolate
We've all heard that chocolate is supposedly a love drug. This is because chocolate is loaded with phenethylamine, which is rumored to play a part in sensations of love, infatuation, and attraction. The chocolate connection was propounded by Michael Libowitz, the author of The Chemistry of Love.
The problem, however, is twofold: First, we obviously can't hand out chocolates on RSVP; second, even if we could, we'd need a whole load of it, since the body's enzymes metabolize phenethylamine way too fast, preventing enough of it from reaching the brain. And the quantity of chocolate needed to produce the desired effect would mean that there'd be too much of a caffeine kick counterbalancing the phenethylamine anyway.
So what can we do? Well, those who paid attention to the lovemap theory can probably guess that we can make a good first impression by putting up a pic of ourselves with a chocolate-covered smile. This will trigger the positive chocolate imprint that every five- to eight-year-old kid surely created.
In a similar vein, you can take a picture of yourself pigging out on a Happy Meal at McDonald's with the collector toy assembled in front of you. Or you could use your profile's video option to have a video of yourself doing some finger gymnastics with the collector toy while making jet-engine noises with your chip-stuffed mouth.
Laugh all you want, but I have no time for naysayers. I'm a man of science and empiricism. You can mock my ideas all you want, but let's see who gets the prom queen, you gym-addicted jockstrap.
3. Creating bedroom eyes
"Bedroom eyes" is the term for what we boring researchers call the copulatory gaze. You don't need me to tell you the effects of this gaze, but rest assured countless experiments have demonstrated its potency.
Bedroom eyes means large, dilated pupils. The beauty of the RSVP photo is that you can stand in a dark room for 5-10 minutes before taking your snapshots, thus manipulating the size of your pupils to good effect.
It's great if you can have your pupils dilated, but it's even greater if you can have your viewer's pupils dilated. If you can cause your viewer to experience pupil dilation, he or she will probably experience feelings of attraction through a process of operant conditioning. Our pupils dilate more than needed for simply the right intake of light when we're viewing pleasant sights, because we subconsciously want to "take more in" of what we're seeing. The good news is that operant conditioning means the process works in reverse: When our pupils are dilated, we will more likely experience feelings of attraction.
On your RSVP profile, just darken your pictures a tad. And when you meet for your first date, arrange your seating carefully so you reduce the amount of light to a minimum. I like to take my dates to photographic dark rooms, sensory deprivation tanks, cemeteries at midnight, Jenolan Caves, and dilapidated prisons and mental asylums. That ensures I create the positive environmental associations I need to trigger attraction in my dates.
You know when the date settings have worked when you receive a voicemail message along the lines of "Look, I had a really great time and you're a really great guy, but I just don't want to see you again." If you examine this verbal message carefully, you'll see that there is the idea of seeing, and experience will teach you to interpret that idea more literally than usual, especially given the pupil dilation we've created in our dating environments. The woman is extremely attracted to you at this point, and you can usually rev up her attraction by following her through dark alleys while wearing a balaclava and occasionally letting her see your silhouette in her bedroom window when she switches off the lights before bed.
Go get 'em, champ.
Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at December 9, 2007 4:14 PM
amdoingit, I knew you were a woman of great taste and wisdom :)
Posted by: malsie at December 9, 2007 11:08 AM
Malsie, I just had a peek at Neuroticfish after your post.. Hmmm!! You are spot on.. Very cute... Another northener... not too mention too young.... "again"... Grrhhh...
Babblon, I have to agree with jenjen here. Don't normally buy into this but your constant denigration of women is off putting. You've obviously been very hurt by someone of our gender but please don't tar us all with the same brush.. Some of us have been hurt by males too but we don't all get on here and put men down.. Please don't pounce on me guys, just had to comment.. There ae good and bad on both sides so let's not forget that ok... Smile and the world will smile with you !!! "G"
Posted by: amdoingit at December 9, 2007 10:27 AM
First impressions do count for a lot so remember that when you write your profile and post a photo. You have to assume that you will eventually meet face to face and a shock creates a bad first impression no matter how nice a person you actually turn out to be. If your profile/photo is misleading then after the initial reaction it can be a bit of an uphill battle.
Posted by: woodnwine at December 9, 2007 10:00 AM
sorry northerbeachesguy I meant.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at December 8, 2007 11:07 PM
hi northernbeachesguy don't worry most bloggers look at the pic of who posted at some stage. It is not right to sum up a person in one glance. Perhaps shows how shallow society is maybe? I have been a full time uni student (combined degree) and only did some volunteering and a bit of babysitting so I was there for the kids. Some people were dissaproving in their attitude that I was only an overloaded full time uni student. And I have heard many stories of guys who are not believed about their line of work. Surely that would be frustrating if it happened a bit. People who are not honest about their jobs mess it up a bit for those who are. I once met a guy who was a stone mason who did headstones but I did not believe him. He produced a card and a photo of some project. Why did I not believe him? good point you made.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at December 8, 2007 11:04 PM
i just read the blog about first Impressions and its good to know that i have been doing all the right things like my dress sense and turning up on time.
second of all i think its wrong to judge some one just by looking at them if your in the market for a potential partner
This happens to me every now and again in the way a girl would ask me what kind of job do i do so i tell them and they don't believe me because my hand's are just to damn clean, they think i'm lying, ( I'm a mechanic and i like to use latex gloves when i work).
Posted by: northerbeachesguy at December 8, 2007 8:43 PM
jenjen57 that is veryamusing, good on you.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at December 8, 2007 4:00 PM
oh you looked! you looked!
thankyourself grateful hiddencharms there are a million women on this site and you are but one of them.
profiles,shmofiles....you should be gaoled for impersonating a horny dragon
Posted by: babblon at December 8, 2007 1:34 PM
babblon: The profile is not hidden, as you have obviously taken a look...the photos are hidden for my own reasons, as I have green hair, warts and horns.. and purple crayon between my teeth...
As for getting to meet people...it's easy...either I send kisses with my password, or others send a kiss asking for my password...Many people on this site have seen my pics...
It just so happens that whenever one of your "friends" has contacted me I have not chosen to reply with the magic password...
Posted by: hiddencharms at December 8, 2007 1:09 PM
Careful hiddencharms you might electricute yourself.
Posted by: kyotohilton at December 8, 2007 1:06 PM
jenjen57: Have tears of laughter rolling down my face...!!!
Posted by: hiddencharms at December 8, 2007 1:04 PM
Now I know what pyscho bloggers do in their spare time.
Do they trust you with pencils or do you have to use crayons.........then again you would probably eat them.
Posted by: babblon at December 8, 2007 12:26 PM
May as well hiddencharms.
Know tell me ,I haven't been here for long and I am getting some studio photos done to show me in my best light for the young lovers on this site.
Why are your photos hidden? and for sooooo long?
I get it !!! hidden.............charming.
So how do you get to date anyone ?
anyone ?
Posted by: babblon at December 8, 2007 12:17 PM
Christmas greetings for all of those with imaginary playmates etc........all in good fun, please don't anyone take offence........
Schizophrenia: Do You Hear What I Hear?
Multiple Personality Disorder: We Three Kings Disoriented Are
Dementia: I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
Narcissistic: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and....
.
Paranoid: Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
Borderline Personality Disorder: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
Personality Disorder: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
Attention Deficit Disorder: Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle, Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Posted by: jenjen57 at December 8, 2007 12:17 PM
ohhh!!! the nazi's are out in force,why are they all women?
or is that my imagination?
Should call yourselfs "Das Blogs"
Neuropsyscoman
why do you get such a battering, you seem like a decent guy to me.
Posted by: babblon at December 8, 2007 12:11 PM
waterbombe: Babblon is here to talk to himself...and all of his imaginary playmates...
Babblon: They do say if medical treatment does not help with your kind of situation, that with time and endurance, you will eventually learn to ignore those people who keep popping into your head...
Posted by: hiddencharms at December 8, 2007 12:07 PM
Very cute neurosushifinger
I think a few women on the blogs would be converted to seafood if they could only get there mouths around you.
Posted by: babblon at December 8, 2007 12:07 PM
neuroticfish, I've never seen your photo before, and if that is truly you (and I know I'll probably get pounced on, lynched and vilified - and maybe all from you! - for saying this), but I had no idea you were so cute!
Posted by: malsie at December 8, 2007 11:46 AM
jejejengenie
Now why would I want to dip my spoon in your mouth and stir you up.
Just bight hard and try to stay on topic
Posted by: babblon at December 8, 2007 11:38 AM
blubbingone
You can't stir me up, as hard as you might try :)
Have a lovely day sweetie
Posted by: jenjen57 at December 8, 2007 11:19 AM
jenjen
typical woman,so defensive,so embittered that a male would dare suggest that women aren't pure of soul.are capable of deceit and lies.
That is just the truth of life and you don't like it!
where do you get these ideas ?
Posted by: babblon at December 8, 2007 11:12 AM
blabbingone
Assuming you are male because of you constant denigration of women.
Also assuming you dont really exist because your profile doesn't exist, therefore you are inconsequential. But if you do, how sad to be so young, as you described yourself, and so seemingly bitter and twisted.
You can wave those big red flags all day...........not biting (much).
Posted by: jenjen57 at December 8, 2007 11:00 AM
watrebombe,jenejen,herman hesse,
you all belong to the same party?
I think I proved my point about the sympathisers and the man bashing.
womens brains are mush, they leave because by this time the husband has had enough and either kicks them out for a younger woman ot waits till they decide he doesn't love em. and they start saying to themselves :there must be more to life.
You see they feed of their own neediness and greed.
gotta have a man,gotta get married,gotta have children,and then when there is no more gotta's they see their life as empty because of the mush in their brain it is compelling for them to start believing another life, a life of a God that does not exist,new age religion,fantasy,horoscopes,mysticism and any other unbelievable thought that enters their mushed brains.
Look at the profiles on this site is that unreal expectation or what ?
Posted by: babblon at December 8, 2007 10:41 AM
NF Ok. I am still trying to figure myself out. Yes I have read some ladies profiles and I also have put little statements like "if you are married please don't contact me." And a comment about yachts not interesting me, which I thought I would remove. I did not know, or care, know how many others did it also. People need to get past the coffee date thing, I agree. Some people you just cant figure out. I thought men went off the rails at 40 or so...can't really put a whole gender in a box hey. Oh and I agree with timewarps comments about evening primrose but ladies don't like it if the suggestion is that they have PMS.
have a peaceful day everyone.
Off to the beach.
EverSoSlightlyOutofWhack
Yay am going to the beach.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at December 8, 2007 10:19 AM
SS
No my profile is not strictly “for my own amusement”
Read some ladies profiles occasionally. A lot use their profiles to convey messages to specific people, take a good swipe at someone recently they had come into contact with, or what they found wrong in their last relationship or with their ex. It is all communication. But for varying objectives.
The only reason I mention timewarp is because women are extremely complex creatures, and that is even before their minds seem to go off the rails a bit past 40. An endless of short coffee dates will never allow one to get acquainted with anyone in depth. The whole thing just becomes a pointless exercise in fatuity. I am still trying to figure someone out I met 5 years ago.
Posted by: neuroticfish at December 8, 2007 9:50 AM
NF thats why I asked. I guess your profile is purely for your amusement. I also do not care much, but trying to get past it and am sometimes deviod of feelings (re: romance etc) The blog is fun (for me) and your profile is different and wondered if it was to impress the ladies? Cos you are sending a mixed message. Based on similarities I think I have shared interests with about 3 people in Australia but lots of non blogger RSVP members do not read the profiles anyway. But I don't think you need to pick on timewarp actually.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at December 8, 2007 9:39 AM
OnlySlightlyOutOfWhack
Not looking for kisses. Don’t count. Don’t care. Not doing a timewarp and running up notches either. Just trying to sort out a woman or two, who at various times seems to have acquired permanent residency status on this site. Someone should revoke their visas or something
Posted by: neuroticfish at December 8, 2007 9:09 AM
secretk : ) hi there, courage is a good character trait..its just my little number pick. Rebooted computer and had interesting social things to do so reply is late. Some people are shy and it takes courage to actually do something. Some are not doers. You know he who hesitates. Courage to go out of their comfort zone. Courage to make a change in their life..I dunno. They are the most important numbers for me I haven't analysed yours ; )) but I must do it soon...I spent my last stamp so see how it goes. I clearly said I was happy to have simply coffee straight up with no strings attatched.
That list neuroticfish was helpful although tongue in cheek on your part. This is not an attack, your profile seems to give mixed messages. No offence, personally I like your humour, it cracks me up. Sultry? and spiritual is a hard image to project i would imagine. But hey, if you are trying to attract a certain demographic of RSVP reader, esoteric vegetarian bikers? maybe let us know how it goes. I wanted to send the kiss that says I share the same sporting interests as you (none) but hey. Very interesting profile but what are you trying to say? You look happy in some of the photos so that is great. Some good pics unlike mine. Can u tell us NF if you get many kisses sent with your unique page? Now you have IMANENIGMA wondering. Each to their own.
I put my cat pic up on mine and am working on getting more photos Most of my friends struggle in the photo taking department.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at December 8, 2007 9:00 AM
You mean Slimey
That woman wants to mess with my head.
She needs the Lord urgently.
So I am here to show her the Light.
As for Istj I know what she needs.
As a psycho metric “tribeswoman” maybe if she became a disciple of the Way, The Truth and the Path of Redemption. The rest of her seems to be well catered for.
(OMG what obscurities we have to resort to in order to obfuscate the realities)
Posted by: neuroticfish at December 8, 2007 8:57 AM
@neurotic or is it sexylittlesnag- now dont get excited I'm straight as, I was just viewing your "not-hidden" (for the moment) profile to put a face to the.........ummmm.....words. I'm curious, you say and I quote you "let us be soulmates forever" and "just remember the lord put us on this earth to love one another".....mmmm....okay....tell me how does that fit in with your "see a head you kick it" and the constant bagging of others here?.....or is your profile just a "pitch" to reel em in?...and why change names? ....oh the stalker woman, thats right!.....hey, she would never think of looking here or doin an rsvp search using your stats. Besides a big ,tall, god fearing,motorcycle riding vegetarian or any of his alter ego's shouldnt be afraid of a little ol stalker!.......seriously, whats the story?.....Imanenigma
Posted by: imanenigma at December 8, 2007 8:32 AM
I had a love affair with an apple mac once (still have him), but I'm getting rid of it/him(I'm confused) soon and replacing it/him with an efficient black IBM that I will have no problems fixing.
I went for the looks and I am no longer that shallow gal I was three years ago...my new love will be strong and repairable...but butt ugly.
Posted by: istj54 at December 8, 2007 7:16 AM
...babblon, not a good first impression...some woans like to live alone...without all the great piles of washing and cooking..they can come ut to play and indulge themselves whenever, with whomever..."and" live happily ever after...it's a "dating" site..not a marriage bureau.
Posted by: istj54 at December 8, 2007 7:06 AM
Istj54
You're a piece of alright.
And they are 2 faced.
A few home truths and you see them squawk like stuck and skewered pigs
Babble On is totally correct. There are a lot of women on this site who need a computer between them and any male.
A lot refuse to leave cyber space for the real world.
Girls. Helloooooooooooooooooooooooo
And as for Babble On's comment about men confusing what their role is, he was directing that at someone who wants to be like a load of floppy jelly. At least it's wine flavoured jelly.
That target should learn that when he sees a head, kick it.
Posted by: neuroticfish at December 8, 2007 7:06 AM
Babblon
FYI Hermann Hesse was a German Swiss poet novelist and painter. He assisted Jews into exile and his works were actually banned by the Nazis.
Maybe it is your brain that has gone to mush ?
Posted by: jenjen57 at December 8, 2007 12:09 AM
BabblingOn, in 70% of Australian marriages it is the woman who leaves. In this country, women leave men at more than twice the rate men leave women. Get your facts straight.
Posted by: waterbombe at December 7, 2007 11:58 PM
hermanhesse
you nazi sympathiser do you speak like you write ?
LOL lol BTW...........my God get an implant.
Posted by: babblon at December 7, 2007 11:47 PM
why do you think there are very few success stories on this site ?
It is because we are the left overs the dregs of the dating society.
Too wacky and mental to stay married because that is what happens to women in their forties to fifties .
The brain goes to mush and then the hubby dumps them for a younger woan whose brain has not deteriated to the same extent.
i am only young so i can see what is happening.No one is going to want a basket case to look after later in life.
Posted by: babblon at December 7, 2007 11:45 PM
what's the blog title?...First Impressions...Babblon, my first impression of you is that you dislike women. You just said: "They are all psycho women on this site" ...that can't be your opinion, surely, or why are you here? Are you here to communicate with psychos? Or with men?
Posted by: waterbombe at December 7, 2007 11:24 PM
babblon..........you really should use spell check ! lol at roll.
Posted by: hermanhesse at December 7, 2007 10:03 PM
car54
I can answer that.
It is because they are all pyscho women on this site.
Why else would you think that people are what they say they are and then fall inlove with Microsoft Word,spell check and your computer screen?
That says it all, women who are really afraid of men and men who are confused about their gender and roll in this game.
Posted by: babblon at December 7, 2007 9:57 PM
Actually I didn't answer your question. No I don't think it is okay for one lot of people to write rubbish and another who isn't liked be chastised for doing so. Yes that would be a double standard.
The problem is that the person posts purely to get these reactions, so it is more of a cause and effect situation rather than a double standard.
Well that is just my opinion.
Posted by: misswendyxx at December 7, 2007 7:37 PM
istj54 I just made the one comment about all the now removed s**t and it is still sitting there - hope you managed to haul in that Mammoth - you'll have to rest up now.
Personally I don't care about multiple profiles, we can all spot them and for the most of it I tend to ignore them. Sure every now and then I might have a few words in jest, and that is all it is. I did find a couple of posts last night directed at me plain offensive, but that said more about the person writing them than me. Big deal if somebody else has a multiple profile, gee I haven't even noticed or do I care really.
Jovial67 - I'm with you, let's stay away from the personal attacks.
Posted by: misswendyxx at December 7, 2007 7:07 PM
Derrr Bill. In my 3.30am post on Dec 6, I completely forgot these blogs.
I've been following a couple recently, and spent my lunchbreak today checking the profiles of the frequent bloggers who had impressed me most with their wisdom, empathy and (usually) actual humility.
And was even more impressed. "Oh brave new world..." My guesses confirmed in trumps. Wonderful people, before I even looked at the photos.
- - - - - - -
But if I'd first seen this blog this morning and started reading from the top down like a European, I'd have got a very different immediate first impression of some of you.
You girls are right - if you can't say something nice, shuddup your face till you can.
Posted by: timewarp1 at December 7, 2007 6:53 PM
istj54
I try to stay well clear of that sort of stuff as I had more than my fill of it from my last marriage. Keep it light hearted and stay away from the personal attacks everyone I say... Oh, and keep smiling! :)
Posted by: jovial67 at December 7, 2007 6:42 PM
Let me ask you all a question???and please answer it honestly....Is is okay for most, if not all, of you to write c**p and rubbish, but if you don't like someone, their s**t is not okay? Smacks of double standards to me...but JMO...and I am very, very tired......didn't do so well without me, did you babe?
...and, I think, some of you would be surprised at who, on the blogs, does have multiple profile...eh Mr Try Hard?
Posted by: istj54 at December 7, 2007 6:17 PM
no it probably means that you have gained some more.........
if possible?
Posted by: twoeyes at December 7, 2007 4:46 PM
Thanks guys.. I was relatively ok until the numbness wore off and then it just felt like someone had broken my jaw..Now after several pain killers I feel ok... except for that stupid gauze thing..
Well all wisdom teeth have gone now... So it means I am no longer wise.. hehe ;-)
Posted by: seraphsuzie at December 7, 2007 4:03 PM
Hope your tooth feels better soon Suzie, sympathetic thoughts beamed to you from South Coast.
Posted by: dolphin46 at December 7, 2007 2:05 PM
Seraphsuzie.....wished you recover soon.
The dentist called Wisdom tooth, due to the last part of teeth to grow during our adolescent age, where to start to accumulate wisdom knowledge through maturity stage.
Posted by: aliane at December 7, 2007 1:48 PM
If I were to go on a date tonight.. It would probably be a disaster.. With gauze shoved in my mouth after having my wisdom tooth out.. my cheek all puffy... But at least by then the numbness would have worn off so drinking would be ok as I wouldn't be dribbling...
Why the hell are they called wisdom teeth for? You should have seen the size of that thing..The dentist had to get me in a headlock just to pull it out! :-( .. 'woe is me' And all this on my RDO.. sheesh!!
Posted by: seraphsuzie at December 7, 2007 12:53 PM
I'm of the opinion that Myers-Briggs is only a slightly finer grade of elephant dung than astrology.
Just out of curiosity, if I've hidden my sun sign on my profile, can people still click "check compatibility"? I'd hate to think I'm losing the first-impression game just because some Cleo- or Cosmo-infatuated horoscope fan gives credence to mainstream astrology. Actually, maybe the unexpected result is that I'm not compatible with girls who avoid me because of an astrology-based compatibility anyway, so that's a redeeming factor.
Ladies, picture this: You notice the guy of your dreams viewing your profile. You're eagerly awaiting that kiss, but nothing comes, so you decide to send one yourself. He replies that you're not his ideal partner, even though everything seems to fit -- common interests, same occupation field, same mental-emotional wavelength, a great physical match, whatever you look for. Confused, you decide to send an email anyway and find out what's up. You write "Hey, I know you didn't want this email, but I'm just wanting a straightforward, honest, no-pulled-punches explanation of why you don't think we're ideal." Then his reply comes drifting in: "Hi, you're exactly what I thought I was looking for, but according to the 'check compatibility' reading, we're not very compatible. I always check that before sending a kiss, just to save some time."
Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at December 7, 2007 12:33 PM
Twoeyes - You are in "real time", looks like your letter did the trick.
Posted by: misswendyxx at December 7, 2007 11:54 AM
have to agree there ss. it is annoying, and very childish
Posted by: twoeyes at December 7, 2007 11:32 AM
I feel like Nelson at Traflagar, except surrounded by the fleet of fools. Don't fire till you see the whites of their eyes and the funny thing is they wonder why they are single. Deltas, Gammas and Epsilons a plenty. Let loose a broadside.
Posted by: brane at December 7, 2007 12:02 AM
Yeah but HC.. you just have to be the bigger person thats all.. My Mum always told me to ignore the bullies at school be cause eventually they would get bored and start on someone else. It was true. Bullies are not worthy of anyones attention. The more you bite back the worse it gets... I just don't read any of what whoever it is writes.. doesn't interest me in the least.. I am here to communicate with other people about dating.. and get to know them. I really could not give a rats about some idiot who has nothing better to do then prattle on about nothing worth anything!!
Posted by: seraphsuzie at December 6, 2007 10:21 PM
@seraphsuzie- you are so right,we should just ignore them.......good advice......still think they are fruitcakes!....sorry, sorry.....ignore....ignore.....ignore.... ignoramuses!....sorry! :) .IMANENIGMA.
Posted by: imanenigma at December 6, 2007 10:21 PM
seraphsuzie: Try as I might it becomes very hard to put up with the tripe day and night, night and day...every second blog or more...!!!
Posted by: hiddencharms at December 6, 2007 10:15 PM
Well said Imanenigma!
Posted by: brilliantblue at December 6, 2007 10:06 PM
@hiddencharms- none taken! nice disclaimer by the way. Oh,I found what I was looking for, just like to put a face to a name. Helps me digest the words.....P.S A gaff and a "fish bat" works a treat on troublesome aquatic pests. IMANENIGMA
Posted by: imanenigma at December 6, 2007 10:05 PM
Can I just give a little advice peoples? You don't have to read it.. but I will say it anyway.. these multiple profiles and people whoever they are? ( I really have no idea who is who or what is who) They really want you to bite back at them.. don't you all get it? They feed off your attention.. so the less attention you give them they have no audience and will probably give up. But you guys biting back are just perpetuating what is happening. Just ignore them and carry on discussing the topic of the blog. After all aren't we all above he/she and their game??
Just my opinion...
Posted by: seraphsuzie at December 6, 2007 10:05 PM
imanenigma: I'm with you 110% on that.
RSVP want to know why so many are disatisfied with this site and their services? Maybe they need to take a good, long loook at those who only sign up to muck with the heads of the "desperate and dateless"...(no offence meant to anyone who is on this site for genuine dating or friendship purposes)
Posted by: hiddencharms at December 6, 2007 9:52 PM
Find someone?
What are you talking about.
I just want to apologise to the good ladies who I can't handle at the moment. You are all wonderful people.
Posted by: neuroticfish at December 6, 2007 9:52 PM
He's probably had too many hooks through the brain...oops maybe that was Somelifeinmeyet's talons!
Posted by: brilliantblue at December 6, 2007 9:50 PM
I’m not afraid of a little 5’2’’ piece of fluff. Provide there’s enough distance between us.
Posted by: neuroticfish at December 6, 2007 9:48 PM
Can someone let their cat lose on this site...cats make pretty fast work of fishmince!
Posted by: brilliantblue at December 6, 2007 9:46 PM
I have little respect for people who dont have the courage of their own convictions. Whats with the multiple profile game? appearing ,disappearing then reappearing, having a dig and then hiding? They would rather play games than take the opportunity to communicate and maybe actually find someone! Hardly seems the action of man. Fruitcake maybe, but not a man........IMANENIGMA
Posted by: imanenigma at December 6, 2007 9:44 PM
When is istj54 getting back to take this BubonicFish off this site.
No I don't know you or you me. I haven't seen you in a niteclub nor would I want to.........and I suspect that the only clubbing you are going to see is perhaps the one Istj54 is going to give you when she gets back from hauling in the mammoth.
Posted by: misswendyxx at December 6, 2007 9:39 PM
He may be a pervert. He may just be an ex. I wouldn’t have a clue who he is. But I do not like the rubbish that you women are coming out with. Get some soap and cleanse your mouths out.
You may rest assured that a judge dealing with change of custody issues, if that is what at stake here, and who knows, will apply community norms and standards of decency.
Loudmouth vitriolic female nonsense merchants do NOT get a say in real life court room dramas.
Posted by: neuroticfish at December 6, 2007 9:38 PM
Brilliantblue: fishermen with heavy duty line and tackle and a big net...
Posted by: hiddencharms at December 6, 2007 9:34 PM
imanenigma: Did you find what you were looking for or should I send again?
Posted by: hiddencharms at December 6, 2007 9:24 PM
@hiddencharms- I've been busted!! guilty as charged your honour.
Posted by: imanenigma at December 6, 2007 9:23 PM
I think we need a couple of sharks on this blog site chasing fishmince!
Keep him occupied!
Posted by: brilliantblue at December 6, 2007 9:22 PM
Brilliantblue: It's almost psychotic....and people wonder why we can become almost paranoid about ulterior motives...
Posted by: hiddencharms at December 6, 2007 9:13 PM
seaweed is very medicinal, in tablets- do read the anti smoking stuff woman- the Health Department is paying good money to get their message across to you
BTW where’s Female Persuasion.
she's was being very vague about contact details for consults (this is a social meeting site afterall)
Posted by: neuroticfish at December 6, 2007 8:58 PM
hiddencharms
people in paper houses should not smoke weed
people in paper houses can afford more than one house and can rebuild cheaply
Posted by: kyotohilton at December 6, 2007 8:52 PM
kyotohilton: People in paper houses should not play with fire...
Posted by: hiddencharms at December 6, 2007 8:44 PM
imanenigma: Saw you peeking. Should be in your contacts box from way back...
Posted by: hiddencharms at December 6, 2007 8:43 PM
Fishmince has been smoking seaweed again.....
Posted by: hiddencharms at December 6, 2007 8:42 PM
You're safe.
Can only afford one ENFP, Suit, Mate, at a time!
Not quite sure what to do with an Istj tho (isn't this fun when she's not online)
Better get all my fun in now. Tomorrow I run!
Posted by: neuroticfish at December 6, 2007 8:31 PM
hey neurotic fish, I am an ENFP, OMG what does that mean??????
Have a safe and happy Christmas all....jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at December 6, 2007 8:18 PM
I'd worry about it being contagious too.
I'm trying to figure out what a modern day ISTJ would be good for.
As a tribeswoman, maybe if I just sent her out for KFC or something, instead of a full meal mammoth.
Posted by: neuroticfish at December 6, 2007 7:40 PM
I believe congrats are in order!!!!! Good luck brane (with your secret)!!!
Posted by: amdoingit at December 6, 2007 7:03 PM
xx is kissy kissy
xox is where she puts the tongue in
OMG the germs!!!
Isn't that right, Slimey?
Posted by: neuroticfish at December 6, 2007 6:52 PM
Neuroticfish...I think you need to start using those flippers and seek water you're starting to dry out!
Maybe Somelifeinyet would like to use you as shark bait!
Posted by: brilliantblue at December 6, 2007 6:49 PM
neorticfishfinger
ESFJISFJESFPISFPENFPSTDBTWRSVP
Just goes to show how neurotic fish without branes can be.
Posted by: babblon at December 6, 2007 6:49 PM
My you are a nasty one
I think mrbranethepain and secretk either that or mrtrainthebrain is playing with himself . misswendy i would like to ask what the xx is all about?
is it kisses or do you go three quarters of the way or do you just enjoy filling in your mindless existance by insulting people.
I just get too much action on RSVP, that is why I am taking a rest on the blogs.
Did we meet somewhere misswendyhill ?I think it you might have been at the nightclub in the inner city the other night.
Did you girlfriends get you home safe
Posted by: babblon at December 6, 2007 6:44 PM
Just to show what absolute bs psychometrics is…
As an ESFJ, my pal would be an ISFJ, my complement an ESFP, my contrast an ISFP, a suitemate (I presume you get them at Lowes) and ENFP, a cohort (in the court of King Karaculas, bit like mistresses) an INFP, a companion an ESTJ, a pedagogue an ISTP, a tribesman an ISTJ. I knew she was there somewhere. She should have slain the mammoth and dragged it home to the campfire by tomorrow night.
Posted by: neuroticfish at December 6, 2007 6:38 PM
Hi Imanenigma....Brane has been blogging with a huge smile on his face as well as another certain lady....its hard not to feel their excitment....the clue to who has Brane's heart in a flutter is "Secret" and its not Misswendy although she is lovely too.
Posted by: brilliantblue at December 6, 2007 6:34 PM
Well you have all lost me, though there are days when thats not hard to do!....I guess thats why they call it a secret?.....one thing I do know....is misswendyxxx is a stylish little number and smart to boot!......and funny....charming....mmmm..... did I just think that or actually say it?... #%&*!!!...I hate it when that happens!!!.....what I meant to say was I think she's....you know....okay...I guess......IMANENIGMA
Posted by: imanenigma at December 6, 2007 6:15 PM
Misswendy and secretk, i think i have clicked onto the "secret". Wont say too much, but think it involves 2 more bloggers who have clicked in a good way. Good luck I say to both of them.
Posted by: dolphin46 at December 6, 2007 5:50 PM
Lets not stress, Some people just can't read between the lines. Obviously not in misswendyxx's class at all. 9 days till Melbourne. shhh, but its a secret......k
Posted by: brane at December 6, 2007 4:50 PM
misswendyxx ... who would have thought ... and I really thought we were making it rather obvious!
Posted by: secretk at December 6, 2007 4:38 PM
Brane and secretk...who would have thought our little secret was going to spark all this then?
Kyotobudgetchain until I set eyes on your profile YOU will remain out of my class.
Bob I didn't see chocolateStarfish but I would say it may have ended up where Thesharksdinner went yesterday - in the bin.
Posted by: misswendyxx at December 6, 2007 4:32 PM
Awk Shucks BB, you're making me blush. We know what we are talking about even if the dills are clueless. See Ya Sunday with the rest of the gang
Cheers
Phil
Posted by: brane at December 6, 2007 4:10 PM
Hi all, been away with work since blog meet. Tried to post a couple of times last night but system is all out of wack. Hope this one goes on.
Wendy, Wendy, you've got these men in a real spin love. Woopie do..
Babblon.. you are spot on .. She is not only a stunner but the girl has brains too.. A complete package I would say.. Bob, Phil, Kyoto... GGrrrrr.. Enjoy Wendy!!!!
Posted by: amdoingit at December 6, 2007 3:31 PM
Kyotohilton,
The spray at SecretK and Brane telling them they are way out of their league with Wendy...sort of a dead giveaway; but check me if I'm wrong.
Pretty harsh words unless you have misconstrued their 3 way secret.
Phil,
No worries fella, just happened to walk in on the last few posts and saw the spray.....looked a bit harsh.
MissWendyXX
Now Babblon to the rescue; you are breaking hearts everywhere!!!
BTW All,
Where has ChocolateStarfish gone?
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at December 6, 2007 3:24 PM
Its amazing, beam me up scotty , between babble-on and kryptodillibrain, there's no sign if intelligent life here. Don't u know what we are talking about. Missing the point, good god. Some people seem to have lost not only the plot , but the book and cover. Sure misswendy is goodlooking, but you won't score any points by attacking her online friends.
Posted by: brane at December 6, 2007 3:22 PM
I think you are all nuts.
I checked her out and what a fantastic looking woman more to the point far too attractive to be wasting her time on here.
Posted by: babblon at December 6, 2007 3:11 PM
Do you think so Bob,
would you like to give your spin on your conclusion.
I am just curious.
Posted by: kyotohilton at December 6, 2007 3:00 PM
Bob , don't be clueless as well, you'll just look as silly as he does. wendyxx, me and secretx are laughing at a shared secret.
Posted by: brane at December 6, 2007 2:58 PM
MissWendyXX
I think you have an admirer in Kyotohilton; though I think the green-eyed monster is rearing its ugly head!!
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at December 6, 2007 2:47 PM
come on guys, play nicely, its nearly christmas,see you all on Sunday
Posted by: dolphin46 at December 6, 2007 1:36 PM
Have you met Brane...I don't think so kyotohilton...Brane is one of the sweetest guys a woman could meet, always smiling and laughing, great sense of humour, intelligent and a really genuine person...most people take to Brane straight away!
Posted by: brilliantblue at December 6, 2007 12:46 PM
kryptodillton - haven't i explained to you before that you are clueless and look so funny with that foot in your mouth.
Posted by: brane at December 6, 2007 12:43 PM
lol, I am a lucky lucky bastard mate, I have an INTJ
Posted by: brane at December 6, 2007 12:36 PM
lol, allbrane-nobraun Not bad twolies, but lifting all those heavy computers hasn't left me a skinny weakling, although I'm certainly no charles atlas.
allbrane-nopane would be funny too
Cheers
Phil
Posted by: brane at December 6, 2007 12:34 PM
Hi slightsynchronicity, intersting choices .... courageous? What are you telling me? (lol)
Posted by: secretk at December 6, 2007 12:27 PM
Hi misswendyxx, I thought you might have guessed. I am thrilled to bits.
Posted by: secretk at December 6, 2007 12:23 PM
Brane,
That sorts out Claudia; but where does that leave you. You would be called.........you lucky, lucky bastard!!!!
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at December 6, 2007 11:19 AM
lol Bob, Now your getting the hang on it notgodsgraft
Cheers
Phil
Posted by: brane at December 6, 2007 11:06 AM
Hi Brane,
Do you realise that if you married Claudia Schiffer she would now be called Claudia Schifferbrane!!
bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at December 6, 2007 9:53 AM
39, 41, 42, 2, 3, (7 all women like a good cook?) 20, 26, 29 and 30. Ok well that is my order secretk.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at December 6, 2007 9:35 AM
neuroticfish what a great post. It reminds me of a change to profile I thought of when I got, you know a bit fed up with the whole person seems nice says email me and doesnt.
In a fit of silliness, I thought I could remove all info from my profile and just have
"Still have my nurses and school uniform....
Will have sex with the right person."
and pics.
(Prompted by a silly conversation with 3 friends, 2 male and one female...some how we got talking about our uniforms.)
But that belongs on lavalife intimates???? ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww it was a joke tho. I would not...these are the things I think to amuse myself.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at December 6, 2007 9:21 AM
Sorry sort of wrong topic but how people are about money and things does affect our First Impressions. Could not get on to the Cost of Dating blog.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at December 6, 2007 9:15 AM
we could have a lottery syndicate..then share the prize loot to take out dates on some kind of outrageous outing.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at December 6, 2007 9:14 AM
secretk have tried to post about the list and and that, system would not let me on.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at December 6, 2007 9:12 AM
I knew it!!!
Posted by: misswendyxx at December 6, 2007 9:08 AM
The list is grossly unfair neuroticfish. We girls don't require that a man love shopping, only that he suffer in silence without all the eye rolling.
Jen
Posted by: jenjen57 at December 6, 2007 8:59 AM
neuroticfish
And we have to hand over the remote !!
Jen
Posted by: jenjen57 at December 6, 2007 8:53 AM
misswendyxx - Hello ... (lol). Hopefully
Posted by: secretk at December 6, 2007 8:25 AM
Brane I think you do have a secret......
Posted by: misswendyxx at December 6, 2007 8:19 AM
now must go out and buy the beer ....
Posted by: secretk at December 6, 2007 7:08 AM
neuroticfish: lol
trying to pick which numbers qualified for me .. too many I guess - oh dear!
So I am voting for 1, 2, 3, (7 would be nice!) definitely 14, 29 is a must, 30 - 34 and most assuredly 43.
slightsynchronicity - I guess we now have our checkist (lol)
Posted by: secretk at December 6, 2007 7:04 AM
How do you Make a Woman Happy?
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes.
After that lengthy and totally unnecessary intro:
Girls:
How to make a good first impression on a man-
1. Show up naked
2. Bring beer & food
Posted by: neuroticfish at December 6, 2007 6:00 AM
Hi all.
Very sorry I missed the Brisbane bloggermeet last weekend. I was working in Toowoomba, and knew I couldn't be back in Brissy till late evening, so didn't enquire where and when. Would love to join in the next one.
Back onto the declared topic for this blog (and I hope that's not TOO unpopular with the BlogLords, a term which I apply politically correctly to both sexes - or to no sign of sex.)
I really liked the discussion below about when is the actual moment of first impression. I believe it's several different moments, each the first for that particular form of contact.
1) Yes, it is the RSVP profile first of all, and I'm instantly turned off when I look and see certain words - especially "only separated, smoker, no children", and/or "don't like pets". Jenelman (especially spelt that way) is another. They all say "This is not my kind of people. No way, Jose."
And because I'm heightist (can't help it), over 5foot 6 also gets an immediate thumbs-down, although so many of you tall girls are just gorgeous. My best mate is about 6 foot, so for ten years she's stayed as just my best mate.
These things matter to me because I have carefully sent out 270 RSVP kisses (at last count - thank you, RSVP been-counter) during the last 2 years to women who DID sound as if they might be my kind of people. I'm looking hard for someone that I can admire and respect just as much as she admires and respects me - ie. my true match.
So I also look for what's on her shopping list, and if it's over 6 foot, under 60 and skinny (or a couch-mate wanted only to watch sport), then it ain't me. gal. Forget it, from square one.
I am a man, but I look at the photo second, AFTER checking for the veto factors I've listed above. And the photo has got to be pretty drack before that's an instant turnoff for me. I'm not looking for a trophy to make other men jealous - just someone who doesn't look so unattractive that I can't see through that to her nice nature. So my perfect partner profile just says "good looks a bonus."
2) The first incoming email is rarely significant for me. Usually just reinforces what a careful study of the profile words has already suggested.
3) The first phonecall is where I get to check for instant auditory turnoffs - voice or laugh like a circular saw, totally illiterate grammar, or an accent that is counter-productive to me understanding what she's on about.
4) Face to face: I try to be 10 mins early, but am often only dead on time, so she's usually at the cafe before me, sitting at the table booked by me in my name. Anyone who's got that far through my filter deserves my surname and mobile number by then.
Sitting already also saves her from having to decide how to greet me physically, beyond a smile.
One of the 100-odd RSVP women I've had first dates with so far (80-odd from my kisses, 20 from theirs) began by saying "I'd better tell you straight away that I'm 5 years older than I said in my profile". This was an even stronger turnoff, because I was thinking "and you're 10 years older than your photo." She was nice, but my trust was torpedoed from the start.
But I'm 100% cool with lying about your age, and then hiding a disclaimer in the fine print. Tempted to do it myself when I've had a string of women kiss me who are ALL actually or physically 5 to 10 years older than I am. If I'm wanted for a toyboy, she has to be a toygirl.
I won't meet someone whose photo I haven't seen. I deserve better trust than that. And all the others were immediately recognisable from their photos, and often prettier in 3D. So only one initial visual shock in 100.
Putting the boot on the other foot, several women have told me they were immediately insulted that I had not dressed up as flash as they had.
One who'd kissed me even refused to meet me, after she heard I was coming a short distance straight from a customer to a cafe near her home, rather than driving 45km home across the city and back at rush hour, and so would still be wearing my traditional Brisbane engineer's summer uniform of business shorts and long golf socks. Not my kind of people, and the sooner found out, the better.
5) First farewell: Also significant. I disagree with jovial67 (far below)about length of first meetings. In the late 1990s I answered about 300 women's newspaper Personals over 4 years, leading to about 50 first dates. Without the pre-investigation possible with RSVP's photos and detailed profiles, that was much more hit-and-miss.
At least every second time, I'd say hello and then be silent for a moment while I prayed "Thank you Lord that this is a coffee shop, and not a desert island. I only have to stay with her for 30 minutes."
With RSVP I can pre-qualify my dates enough to ask for a longer first meeting over a meal, rather than just a coffee quickie. I mention that all my first dates so far (except 3 total mismatches) have wanted to stay chatting with me for at least 2 hours and up to 5, and I find most actually want on the day to stay for 3 to 4 hours, whether or not either of us wants a second meeting.
Only one of the 3 mismatches would commit to no more than a coffee quickie in her far-off suburb (after about 15 emails to and fro during a month) and I turned out to be glad, because only her ego was more magnificent than her bosom.
I've found first partings to be much more often suddenly better than I expected, than disappointing. I'm rapt when a woman shakes my offered hand, thinks better of it and then impulsively gives me a soft 2-second closed-mouth kiss on the lips. Lengthens a man's life-span.
Posted by: timewarp1 at December 6, 2007 3:32 AM
what about allbrane-nobraun....
Posted by: twoeyes at December 5, 2007 11:28 PM
I have a secret......k
Posted by: brane at December 5, 2007 10:43 PM
Never ever trust anyone who can't laugh at themselves
Posted by: brane at December 5, 2007 10:42 PM
lol, has nobody though of brine, lifeofbrine, membrane, braneless, sultanabrane, I could go on and on
Posted by: brane at December 5, 2007 10:41 PM
A huge turn-off at the first meeting is thinly veiled sexually suggestive comments and lewd inuendo. It leaves the impression that there is only one thing on their mind, and doesn't leave much room for a friendship to prosper.
Posted by: nefertiti01 at December 5, 2007 9:49 PM
Sorry imanenigma I just can't think of anything that is going to BLOW everyone away with my cleverness.
Posted by: misswendyxx at December 5, 2007 9:25 PM
yeah, misswindy, got any thoughts! lol :-)
Posted by: imanenigma at December 5, 2007 9:04 PM
Bigbuttbloo has a bit of a ring!
Posted by: brilliantblue at December 5, 2007 8:56 PM
Good one misswendy..anyone else willing to have a laugh at themselves!
Posted by: brilliantblue at December 5, 2007 8:45 PM
bimboblue, iamenima, cyberfreud: I've already been called "no charm"...I bet that would reel in the kisses....
Some days you can tell I spend far too much time around children...huh?
Posted by: hiddencharms at December 5, 2007 8:44 PM
BB - Atleast you would know that "imanenima" doesn't put up with any crap.
Posted by: misswendyxx at December 5, 2007 8:34 PM
A bit like a fancy dress with names...good for laugh imanenigma but probably wouldn't look too good on the profile...you've got a particularly Sh...y one! lol!
Posted by: brilliantblue at December 5, 2007 8:22 PM
Hey hiddencharms cyberfreud could be good too
Posted by: brane at December 5, 2007 8:20 PM
@bimboblue- does that make me imanenima?......bummer!,that doesn't sound cool!
Posted by: imanenigma at December 5, 2007 8:00 PM
Thanks for that brane, seriously lack of sleep from being upset can take its toll on your health. Yes I appreciate your advice, I was just affronted and offended by the delta male (did not know the term) and his inability to take "no" for an answer about 15 times. So yes I will calm down, see what 2 weeks of missed yoga class does. This is relevant to the topic of First Impressions BTW
I joined in on the topic of Paying out OTT New Age extremely behaved persons or whatever...however as some of us are thinking some profiles are "false" and there fore fraudulent. I do yoga class, just started...4 wks in. Yoga Nidra and ummm I have a Reiki stage 1 Certificate. But I maybe would not mention it on a first, second, third date....so I wanted to just let whoever know that if I put changes on my profile it is cos Ive changed what I do. It never occured to put Reiki on till I saw it on a profile. Brane a fresh nights sleep and all that is the thing and I actually was quite scared one night at 2 am ish. Cos the last email came in the wee small hours. Its OK. The situation with my account tho...
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at December 5, 2007 7:52 PM
Hiddencharms...sitting here laughing at fishmince...I think you should be in charge of giving us all more descriptive names like "Bimboblue" for me but I'm sure you're names would be much funnier!
Posted by: brilliantblue at December 5, 2007 7:42 PM
hehehehe ODE, No I do not think and try not to assume. I simply thought I could "kill two birds with the one stone" I do not know who is in contact with who....however if u were in contact with one person, re the email strings. Thought u may have enjoyed em. Honestly in my whole life I have never seen such a bizarre rant. Ok he picked out bits from my previous emails and commented on them...bit by bit. I would love to put examples but I wont.
bloggers my account has been locked. so I guess I can not send or recieve anyRSVP contacts or use the stamp. ha ha. I thought if i mailed it to one person then they would know one person and it could be passed on for amusement. It is amusing. And i thought NF would like it. So I am off here also then?????
Don't understand it all.
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at December 5, 2007 7:42 PM
fishmince: do you think males are the only ones wsting their time and money on cyber-psychos....and cyber-fraud...??? Mmmm. I like that...cyber-fruad. It has an interesting ring to it....
Posted by: hiddencharms at December 5, 2007 7:21 PM
slightsynchronicity, I'm not in contact with as many people as you seem to think I am ;-) Your stamp would go to waste on me if you're trying to find an RSVP switching board of sorts.
Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at December 5, 2007 7:04 PM
femalepersuasion, replied to the first one in email.
There's bound to be a lot of annoying behaviour on a dating site. I used to hate it, but then I had the realisation that, hey, there are people with genuine problems in the world, and it's an insult to good fortune to sit around cursing my experiences on a dating site while some people are struggling to find food for a meal or battling diseases that the West cured decades ago. If my only problem is receiving a bunch of text insults on the Internet, then I thank my lucky stars and find it extremely difficult to feel depressed over that.
Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at December 5, 2007 7:01 PM
And if we don't have enough confused bloggers, searching cyberspace for their alter egos, or simply feeding their own egos....somelifinmeyet popped up again in my view bar today.....
Posted by: hiddencharms at December 5, 2007 6:43 PM
oh malsie you know I dont have time to read those books
Posted by: slightsynchronicity at December 5, 2007 5:42 PM
You are all over the shop Oozing One.
try writing with clarity and purpose
Posted by: neuroticfish at December 5, 2007 3:45 PM
slightsync. - it's often very confusing on here for even "seasoned" bloggers, rest assured! Sometimes it's advisable to just suspend all belief and go along for the ride .... :)
Posted by: malsie at December 5, 2007 3:25 PM
Ode; my last post to you was my attempt to provide a tongue -in -cheek post for your learned opinion on this frequent RSVP dilemma that I am sure a lot of women find themselves deciphering...namely,
- guys that repeatedly send kisses, you ask for an email and get no response... then the email arrives 6 months later.
-Or how
Godd morning all,
odexpert, you did it again, LOL.......luv the chocolate bit.
You didn't turn up for any of the sydney bloggers catch up yesterday afternoon.....just a little thought, you are a real person and blogger, aren't you??? Not someone hiding behind a not so real profile!!! or someone actually employed by the dating agency???
Just a thought, tell me what you think
Have a lovely day all...jewels
Posted by: junebaby57 at December 10, 2007 7:41 AM