RSVP Blog

Blog now closed; thank you for your comments!

Posted by: rsvpproducttest at November 27, 2007 8:38 AM

amuso - just a thought but why don't you give funlovertoo your private email address so you two can discuss things in private instead of on the blogs?

Posted by: woodnwine at November 27, 2007 8:28 AM

yep, me too, if there is no spark, no spontaneous laughter, no thinking hmmmm I want to decrease the distance between us...then I'm outta there in a couple of dates. Friends are wonderful but they are friends because they don't have enough to keep you around for ever.

Loved the nurses story, ODE, you crack me up. And I'm SO glad to hear the ALP has taken the dating future of this nations' young men to heart.

Posted by: waterbombe at November 27, 2007 8:09 AM

on a hot summer night would you offer your throat to the wolf...etc.....yes........i bet you say that to all the guys!

Good morning all, caught up with meatloaf while driving back from the coast yesterday. I don't think this song has been on summer lovin yet.

OLDexpert, i have a simialr rule, no chemistry or spark after 2 or 3 dates, I call it off, because you can't make it happen.
And I have to have the chemistry, spark, physical and mental thing happening, otherwise why bother doing it!! dating that is!!

Have a fab day all...jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at November 27, 2007 7:25 AM

ODE , women can smell he fear on you if you haven't noticed. Since you don't drink and hence dutch courage is unavailable to you I would suggest valium. Don't worry about the friend zone, just don't waste resources on it. Time is limiited, life is short and rather than zoom in intensely on that one women perhaps you should scatter gun your approach with a variety of female friends. This way you can always say if one make unreasonable demands as a friend that you have promised your other friend time/money/effort and that you keep your promises. Promises are fine, just don't make any.
Women are much more competitive with each other than men ( witness a clothes sale if you dare ) and rather than being the unwanted suitor/loser you become the valued prize/winner.
I leave you to discuss the idea further.

Posted by: brane at November 27, 2007 7:16 AM

In the summer time when the weather is fine, check ur mail FunLover.

Posted by: amuso at November 27, 2007 6:39 AM

amuso..listening to Amboy Dukes now. Thanks. Don't worry about taking a pic, you have too much to do.
Reg Harris mails going to you.
now have Phantom on laptop

Posted by: funlovertoo at November 27, 2007 6:18 AM

Seems i have a bad case of stuttering paragraphs!

Posted by: amuso at November 27, 2007 5:54 AM

Might be able to snap one in an hour's time. have a look then and see which is more suitable, ok?

Posted by: amuso at November 27, 2007 5:52 AM

amuso...looking for the reg harris mails to cut n paste n send

Posted by: funlovertoo at November 27, 2007 5:50 AM

And here I was thinking Some Life In Me Yet had found someone else.

She’s just given me another kiss.

She can be my Valentine too.

Well, I’ve offered LorainerR a diamond ring, a honeymoon in the Greek Isles and true love. I was mumbling matrimony at some stage, but I think it was after a few vinos.

Wonder what is left in the kitty for Some Life In Me Yet.

Can’t commit bigamy- my ggggf did that and got 7 years in Van Dieman’s land for his trouble.

Maybe Some Life In Me Yet would like a quick romantic tour of Moskau and Paris, the Kohinoor diamond and even truer love. How do you go one better on true love anyway?

That’s the problem with being on this site. Far too many women.

Posted by: alphabetaphi at November 27, 2007 5:44 AM

amuso..don't suppose you have a white wax flower pic, otherwise I'll ask Wafex to use their pic this morning.

Posted by: funlovertoo at November 27, 2007 5:42 AM

Just on your arm it would be alphabetaphi. No hope there.
amuso..Amboy Dukes just starting download in mailbox here.
If yu're online in Melbourne later I'll send story some time this afternoon to see if everything is ok.

Posted by: funlovertoo at November 27, 2007 5:40 AM

Brian Adams gets me mine, 'the only thing that looks good on me is...........
FunLover, it's there, it really is!

Posted by: amuso at November 27, 2007 5:39 AM

Funlover

They are just another piece of clothing accessory- to wear on your arm.

Used to be able to acquire them at Rothwells, a la haute couture et non prêt a porter.

Posted by: alphabetaphi at November 27, 2007 5:32 AM

Listening to the new one from the Eagles.... Pastel in the sky is Gorgeous, never get sick of it. Green and Pinks lol.

Posted by: amuso at November 27, 2007 5:31 AM

Listening to Tubular Bells. Lovely gentle grey cloud music.

Posted by: funlovertoo at November 27, 2007 5:28 AM

Amboy will be good. MC5 if you've got time.

Posted by: funlovertoo at November 27, 2007 5:22 AM

woohoo...you're up!

Posted by: funlovertoo at November 27, 2007 5:21 AM

alphabetaphi..saw your post of November 26, 2007 3:48 PM . Dream on but I don't think you should go down that trail. That is exactly the type of person you should avoid.

Posted by: funlovertoo at November 27, 2007 5:20 AM

Good morning FunLover.
Good morning World.
False dawn over here, turned out to be the neighbour's back porch light.
Amboy is coming.

Posted by: amuso at November 27, 2007 5:12 AM

A flush of apricot over the hills inspires this dawn report from the central coast.
A few showers are forecast but it should be 15-24. Drive safely.

Posted by: funlovertoo at November 27, 2007 4:59 AM

junebaby, certainly. I aim my advice at men because I estimate that 90% of women don't need advice -- they can just stroll into any club, pub, or bar.

Also, I reckon it's a lot harder as a guy to avoid the "friend" zone or the "provider" zone. These days I refuse to enter the "friend" zone or the "provider" zone if I don't also get a ticket to the "lover/alpha-male" zone.

Many RSVP women around my area have profiles mentioning stuff like "let's start as friends and see how that goes" or "I believe if we can't work as friends, we can't work as a couple" -- like hell I'm falling into that trap again!!!

If a woman displays no signs of attraction within seven days, I reckon it's best to sever all connections. Better to do that than to stand around slack-jawed with a "what about me?" expression on your face when she tells you in a chummy way weeks down the track that she's met a guy she's really into.

A good litmus test I've found for deciding whether it's worth staying in touch with a particular woman is what I like to call the Pitt Test. You find out her favourite male actor or singer, and you casually ask a week into your interactions, "OK, fun question - how would you be around (male celeb) within the first 72 hours?" If her imagined scenario is 10 -- or even 2 -- times better than what you've experienced in 168 hours, then you're missing something she needs to feel attraction and had best sever the connection before you end up hurt.

But to answer your question, I'm happy if any women out there find anything insightful in my advice posts.

Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at November 27, 2007 1:18 AM

alphamale - don't speak so harshly about our Qld wineries, they mean well and you can always do the advanced driver training programme while you are there.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 26, 2007 11:10 PM

Ever given wine as a gift to a woman?

Always go for the brand name.

May taste like shyte, but, OMG, if it carries a yuppie moniker…and she’s been there and swanned around at the over priced restaurant, gazed with a complete lack of knowledge at the token rows of vines (the stuffs shipped in from real wine growing regions in milk tankers and bottled on site) and sipped with the mercs.....

Posted by: alphabetaphi at November 26, 2007 9:45 PM

OLDexpert, can I use the date thing on any guy who turns up on my front doostep, not just the Jehovah's Witness!! Very funny once again....jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at November 26, 2007 9:14 PM

Actually you can have the 2000 Aged reisling from Penfolds I started this night.
Bloody awful!!! I think somebody left the cork out for the 7 years.

Posted by: thefotografer at November 26, 2007 8:57 PM

alphabetsoup - the bidding war hasn't even started yet. Eric may raise you a cheeky little bottle of Marlborough region Sauvignon Blanc and call your bluff.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 26, 2007 8:45 PM

WnW. At least she’s spreading the love around.

Must be EBay.

I promised her the Greek Isles. And true love, of course.

Have you outbid me already!!!!

Posted by: alphabetaphi at November 26, 2007 7:58 PM

Thanks for signing in, woodnwine. Now you can comment. (sign out)

whoops, still had to sign in again.

alphabetsoup - yes, I liked that photo too when it popped up about a week ago, very nice.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 26, 2007 7:26 PM

Forgot: the easiest way to get a fast run to hospital Code 1 red all the way is to say you’ve got shortness of breath.

Not quite sure whether it works if you’re pregnant. Can’t remember my last! Just joking Maud

Oh I do love nurses

Posted by: alphabetaphi at November 26, 2007 7:04 PM

Recently I was stuck in an old ladies ward. They stared at me alnight. Their nighties did some dreadful things. OMG did I have to see that sort of thing.

But my little nurses joke is. This old dear came in from a Nursing Home, allegedly with a broken hip.

All night she used to press the buzzer and yell “Nurse!!! Nurse!! I got pain in my chest!! On a scale of 1 to 10, it’s a 10.”

The nurses on night duty started to curse her. All she wanted was a cup of tea.

That one is for all the nurses, medicos and paras on this site. You won’t find that in Grey’s Anatomy.

Posted by: alphabetaphi at November 26, 2007 6:24 PM

HOW TO INTEREST NURSES AT THE LOCAL HOSPITAL

Everyone has multiple personalities. Or, rather, everyone plays a dozen roles. You wake up of a morning and assume your home role. You head toward work and assume your citizen-in-public role. You commence work with your work role. You go to the pub after work with your pub role. You go to the Saturday game with your game role. And so on. The stern CEO at work suddenly becomes the gregarious chap or lass at the pub.

One tactic when meeting new women is to plan your encounter so that they're playing a role that's favourable to you. The same woman who may tell you at the club to take a hike may be extremely receptive and friendly when she's playing the role of telemarketer, call centre chick, cashier, secretary, evangelist, or broker.

Next time you get a woman from Jehovah's Witnesses knocking on your door, consider inviting her in. They use attractive men and women for that purpose. After you're both seated and exchange a few pleasantries, make it very clear that the only way you're going to be receptive to the proselytising is if you score a date. Continually interrupt her message with suggestions for a date. In fact, this is often the best way of getting rid of them and ensuring they never return. So win-win either way.

While exciting, the above roles have their drawbacks. What you want is a role that you can go find yourself at any time of the day. One role in particular stands out among the rest: the role of nurse. There are literally dozens of hospitals available for your predatory behaviour, each hospital containing dozens of nurses.

Now you need a good approach. One of my favourite approaches is to use what's known in mentalism as the book test. There are many book tests around, and essentially what happens is you hand someone a book, have them open it to any page they want, have them pick out any word they want, and then proceed to tell them the word. Some book tests are crap, but some are extremely convincing (consider that many mentalists use these book tests to fool intelligent corporate audiences). You can play it as either an act of prophecy, which I don't recommend, since they may wonder why you can't simply have them think up a word without the use of a book. I recommend the memory act: You use the unabridged 1901 edition of Gray's Anatomy for the book test and end up convincing your target that you have memorised the entire book. When searching for a book test to use, find one that allows the spectator to pick any page they want and any word they want. Don't use one of the ones where you go through an unconvincingly elaborate process to "help" them pick a page and word. The effect of the illusion is that they pick any page and any word on that page, tell you the page number & line number & word number, at which point you tell them the word. It really blows people's minds.

That's not the only approach for nurses. Another approach is to fake anaphylactic shock, and when they come running toward you, you jump up with a smile, do a little vigorous run on the spot, a little victory dance, and then say, "I'll pick you up at 8pm on Saturday." Then you jog backwards away from them, stop, do a basketball swish gesture with the raised arm and flexed wrist, and shout "score!" Then you use cupped hands over your mouth and puffs of air to simulate a crowd applause.

Yet another approach is to lead the nurse to the head nurse or human resources leader and say, "I recommend this lady for a promotion. She has excellent bedside manner." If the head nurse is your type, you can toss in a cheeky "Did she learn that from the best?" followed by "I'll pick you both up at 10pm. No fighting over the front seat."

Yet another approach is to catch the attention of the nurses by exhibiting your sweet and gentle side (this is normally a losing game with the average woman, but not with nurses). Head to the children's toy & game room and start playing with the little kids. Depending on your age, this may not be the best approach for you.

Yet another approach is to walk up to the nurse and fall flat on the floor. When she kneels down to see whether you're OK, just open your eyes, smile, and say, "What, here? What if people see us?"

Yet another approach is to stand waiting in the closet room. Nurse approaches the room nonchalantly, opens the door, turns on the light, and the first thing she sees is you standing there in your underwear with a big suggestive grin on your face.

The ALP has pledged to put an extra 9,250 nurses in our hospitals, so we're in for a really great time in the coming years.

Go get 'em, champ.

Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at November 26, 2007 6:03 PM

notgodsgift, most women as you know like it when men appear interested in them, and are not simply trying to pick up so well done there.

Recently I had lunch with an acquaintance who will never be a friend as he kept oggling me lots and then looking at me like I should have been pleased about it. It does not fit with the Summer lovin theme as I hated it and would rather have been at the dentist. We had a conversation but he was sooooooooo unsubtle it was horrible. Worst "date" ever. It is refreshing to know some men go out with a "no strings" approach then.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at November 26, 2007 4:11 PM

My problem, WnW, is that I keep falling for her creations.

I absolutely love that stunning photo of Oneina1000000 (the one with the wine glass in her hand). That is one of the sexiest photos I have ever seen.

And Lorainer is not a bad sort, given my fatal fascination for redheads.

Posted by: alphabetaphi at November 26, 2007 3:48 PM

Hey ODE, Thanks for the support fella, but I dont have a problem speaking to women because I genuinely like them (for more than the obvious reasons) and I think it shows. When I go out I am not looking to pick up, but always up for a chat and a few laughs. A coupla drinks always helps break the ice if either of you is a bit shy - just releases the inhibitions a bit (thats what I find anyway). I just like the "no strings" approach to meeting women anywhere, I think they feel far more comfortable with you when you are interested in them, not whats under the clothes. What do you think girls? Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at November 26, 2007 1:44 PM

alphabetsoup - why don't you just take her off our hands? Both of her. Or we could invite her to the bloggers meeting - we could have it in Hastings Street if the weather is nice. Wouldn't that be lovely? Then you could both slip out and shop for a ring while waiting for the main course to arrive. Sort of kill two birds.............

Posted by: woodnwine at November 26, 2007 1:22 PM

WnW

Funny you mentioned it.

Toilet patrol, that is.

One of the little known facts of our mendacious existence is that club toilets are a hotbed of instant gratification.

They’re usually told to get their knickers back on and start dancing again.

Hope this little snippet doesn’t offend those for whom clubbing is distasteful and/or a social disaster.

Posted by: alphabetaphi at November 26, 2007 1:11 PM

alphabetsoup - I was thinking about getting you to handle the security for the night personally, that way we can all relax and have fun while you take care of all those troublesome little details like drink spiking, concealed weapons etc. I have already volunteered to do the frisking but we will be needing someone to accompany the women to the toilets.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 26, 2007 1:03 PM

alphabetaphi...sometimes you just have to take a chance.
I'd sussed out amuso and spent two days with him but was aware I'd be visiting an isolated farmhouse with no mobile reception for 5km (actually further in the case of Vodafone).
Isolated farmhouses also have a gun in the gun safe.

Posted by: funlovertoo at November 26, 2007 12:44 PM

WnW- There usually isn’t a solution, just continuing treatment to prevent relapses of existing conditions.

Funlover- little Johnnie Howard probably thinks it’s all a joke too that the electorate has played on him, and that if he wakes up, he will still be PM.

Anyway, for those going to Friday night’s meeting, take elementary security precautions:

1. tell a family member where you are going and what time to start ringing the police if you do not return safely;
2. guard your drinks- drink spiking is not always related to seduction etc. there are some very weird people around;
3. make sure the doorman frisks everyone before entry

Posted by: alphabetaphi at November 26, 2007 11:51 AM

alphabetsoup - we hear you but the solution is not forthcoming.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 26, 2007 11:43 AM

alphabetaphi...I just like being enigmatic.
You should know that by now.
It was a joke, OK?

Posted by: funlovertoo at November 26, 2007 11:43 AM

Funlover

When OnLineDatingGuru sent up the ridiculous profile that OnLineDatingExpert created, you were the one who made an enigmatic comment about thieving profiles, when I said that it sounded like yet another re-incarnation from the devil herself.

Of course there are voices inside my head. SomeLifeInMeYet recently decided to log on every time I logged on, so that little window would pop up in the right hand corner. Trying to shake these “voices” by changing profiles was not working. They’re running a MySpace Tracker on me.

Now Lorainer for the nth time wants me to kiss her continually. At least Slimey seems to have been put out to grass.

I’m not the one who needs a psychiatrist on this site. I think Fotoman knows more than he is letting on, and just loves tormenting the wackos.

Posted by: alphabetaphi at November 26, 2007 11:37 AM

Glad to hear all's well with Terry, HC, and hope your evening goes well on Friday!
Roses, in my opinion, are a balm for the soul; may you continue to enjoy yours. When I'm feeling a bit tense, I go and inhale on a few - very therapeutic!

Posted by: malsie at November 26, 2007 11:36 AM

wishfulthinker03, this is a genuine question: if you put a lot of thought into blog comments (or even if you didn't and just wrote whatever came to mind) but with no malice in your comments, and someone wrote a comment saying it was "tripe", no wonder you were single and most likely would stay that way - would you not find that hurtful and unnecessary? If you truly think not, and "What's the big deal?", then fair enough, we see things very differently.

Posted by: malsie at November 26, 2007 11:27 AM

alphabetaphi....you say in your profile:

"Are there voices milling around inside your head. What are they saying to each other and to you"

You could ask yourself the same question!

Have been offline since Thursday after flying back from Victoria minus my laptop charger which arrived this morning.
Had an absolutely wonderful time with amuso and only two sleeps until he arrives here.
So, life's great.

Posted by: funlovertoo at November 26, 2007 11:26 AM

no I'm not a psychologist, jpKool, and I do apologise for my rudeness. I'm not onlinedatingexpert either. I wish.

Posted by: waterbombe at November 26, 2007 9:59 AM

Go for it alphabetaphi

Posted by: jaspercat at November 26, 2007 9:05 AM

Woodnwine

When was the last time you sat for hours letting a woman talk.

You don’t have to say anything. Just grunt on cue every so often whilst mentally planning your next fishing trip, or something.

Posted by: alphabetaphi at November 26, 2007 9:00 AM

OLDE - I find some of what you write funny and some of it a bit boring but you have every right to say what you want on a public blog. Personally, I read the bits I find interesting and skip over the others - others should try this approach, it works really well.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 26, 2007 8:53 AM

A good point just made by someone - if you don't like something on the blogs don't bag it, just pass over it. You don't have to read every word on here, I certainly don't. Lighten up everyone and wishfulthinker03, why not come along on Friday night and you and jpkool can discuss your views over a nice glass of wine?

Posted by: woodnwine at November 26, 2007 8:49 AM

Hey, I'm not here for arguments. Give a mate a fair go.

I think we're all on this site for similar reasons.

wishfulthinker, no question about that -- I've been single for a little too long now, and I believe you're right that it's a safe bet I'll remain that way. Of course, I don't like to be reminded. ;-)

I've been pretty open about my ulterior motive for posting here: increasing my exposure to women on the site. Every time I make a post, I get a flood of profile views.

I try to stay on-topic, giving advice for summer and beyond. Beyond the irony, I reckon I stumble on a few nuggets here and there, but how much they're worth is up for you to decide, of course. The advice about overcoming social anxiety was from the heart. It's how I overcame my crippling shyness, and I thought maybe it would work for others. I'm not succeeding with women, but I am approaching tons of them, and considering how I was, that's a miracle for me.

Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at November 26, 2007 1:29 AM

waterbombe, awfully remiss of me. You would not happen to be the onlinedatingexpert, would you? the one who can't tell the difference between meta-cognitive development and social development.

A certain hc on this site has used me as her sounding board for her psychology. So you know the idffernece between Bronfenbrenner and Piaget and Vygostgy?

Niether one of us is studying psychology, but we can sure pick the ones with the mentality of 5 year olds.

Posted by: jpkool at November 26, 2007 12:26 AM

waterbombe, it's a good thing that OLDE finds the humour in my posts.

Sometimes, I don't see your point, either. You have made some nasty blurts lately. So what?

Posted by: jpkool at November 26, 2007 12:06 AM

Jeez, guys, why don't YOU get lives? Onlinedatingexpert is really funny.

If you don't like it, skip past it, don't bag it.

And if I can just not practice what I preach for a moment, ODE's post was a great read. Your two were not. Oh God, I can't resist it...I'm going to say it....no wonder YOU TWO are single. Hey! Why don't you hook up with each other? You could be smug together.

Right, I'm going off now to meditate on sweetness and light and how to be nice to people.

Posted by: waterbombe at November 25, 2007 11:41 PM

wishfulthinker03, I try to spend as little time possible at the polling booth. Sausage sizzle was good.

Talk about irrelevance. We seem to have something in common. we dislike the inane.

Posted by: jpkool at November 25, 2007 11:34 PM

Onlinedatingexpert, with that much tripe I'm not surprised you are single and its a safe bet you'll stay that way.....jpkool....see another example of total irrelevance :)

As a "voting" Australian I didn't see a single soul at the polling booth, other than the tired and boring people behind the counter and and a 65+ handing out greens voting cards....yeah I can see that being the place to find my next beau. ODE...you really need to get out more...

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at November 25, 2007 11:17 PM

the expert, who cares? Nothing else to do with your life?

Posted by: jpkool at November 25, 2007 10:35 PM

HOW TO INTEREST WOMEN AT POLLING BOOTHS

Along with a small number of other countries, Australia is known for its compulsory voting system. Some countries have had, but no longer have, compulsory voting -- the Netherlands got rid of it in 1967, and the Philippines attempted to practise it under martial law from 1972 to 1986. The Soviet Union had a form of compulsory voting, which had 99.8% of people supporting the status quo by default. Zaire had compulsory voting -- strange considering that the country used to be a single-party state with only one candidate allowed to run in presidential elections. The countries that still have compulsory voting are divided into three categories: no enforcement, weak enforcement, and strict enforcement. Countries with weak enforcement include Turkey, Peru, Mexico, and Ecuador (non-compulsory for illiterates and those over 65). Countries with strict enforcement include Switzerland (compulsory in only one canton/territory -- abolished in others in the '70s), Luxembourg (but non-compulsory for those over 70), Fiji (compulsory prior to the 2006 coup d'etat / military takeover), Singapore, and, of course, Australia. Singapore's strict enforcement entails being removed from the voter register until reapplication. Australia's strict enforcement entails a fine sanction, followed by harsher measures, such as having your driving licence cancelled.

Australia's compulsory voting system has its critics -- some may feel that compulsory voting is an attack on civil liberties, an instrument of a totalitarian dictatorship rather than a healthy democracy -- but I think those critics fail to understand one critical point: compulsory voting is great for meeting men and women.

On no other day can you be assured of having the population of your suburb showing up at one place. The prospects for meeting the men or women who've caught your eye over the years while you've been shopping, driving, etc., are very, very good.

For guys trying to meet women, it's important to case out the polling joint a few days prior to Election Day. Circling the block at 10km/hr a few times while you take extensive photographs should provide you with the intel you need for your upcoming mission. You may also wish to employ a sleeping bag and a portable alarm clock to ensure you're on location at the crack of dawn.

Your goal is to stand out from the average bloke. That could entail standing around with a loaded rifle while you proclaim your support for the Australian Shooters Party, an act that will show you to be a politically aware and involved citizen. Firing a couple of blanks would allow you to show that you have both passionate fervour and a sense of humour.

The problem with the above is that you're still acting within the political framework. You're not showing the ladies that you are an independent spirit, a free agent who submits to no political party in any shape or form. Many women like rebels and bad boys and iconoclasts, and supporting the Australian Shooters Party reeks of conformity and submission.

Not you. You are the individualist anarchist, dressed in black and distributing booklets on how to rig explosive devices, how to pick locks, and how to overthrow governments. You are the bad boy of the bunch, and you aren't afraid to show you're a deep thinker by quoting the renowned philosophers, also individualist anarchists, Henry David Thoreau and Max Stirner. The politically unconscious female voters will be drawn in by your image, whereas the politically conscious female voters will be drawn in by your boldness, activist side, and refreshing views.

To whom do you think the ladies will flock? The timid, mild-mannered man dropping cliched soundbites and discussing economic minutiae and miscellanies, or the brash guy who's a party of one, a rebel frothing at the mouth with anti-government tirades, striking raw passions, and blaring Rage Against the Machine tracks from a spraypainted boombox?

Give women the chance to flirt with danger. Become the bad boy of your neighbourhood. It all happens on Election Day.

I conclude with a quotation from internationally acclaimed author Robert Greene, author of The Art of Seduction:

"Rule 18: Stir up the transgressive and taboo. There are always social limits on what one can do. Some of these, the most elemental taboos, go back centuries; others are more superficial, simply defining polite and acceptable behavior. Making your targets feel that you are leading them past either kind of limit is immensely seductive. People yearn to explore their dark side. Once the desire to transgress draws your targets to you, it will be hard for them to stop. Take them farther than they imagined -- the shared feeling of guilt and complicity will create a powerful bond."

Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at November 25, 2007 5:21 PM

malsie: Cheers from Terry! He even offered to be my chaperone on Friday night....I'm not sure if that is to keep him, or me out of mischief...He's still wooing his lady friend...I woke him up at 11.00am this morning after a big night out....

Posted by: hiddencharms at November 25, 2007 3:08 PM

ninaschen & malsie: My roses are stunning this year, too! Most are only 1-2 years old (new house) so I am really impressed. I love having my own fresh flowers in the house. The neighbours may not be impressed with what I have just spread around the roses...finally, a beautiful, sunny QLD day....

Posted by: hiddencharms at November 25, 2007 2:38 PM

OLDE your post re dancing had me chortling into my cuppa tea and spluttering my raisin toast, then l went back to bed, the result of a very late night. I don't get out much (said in a deadpan voice).
Brane, poetry yet from a SNAG....quite lovely to read and always enjoy your contributions.

Well the post election wrap up has started on the telly, but can someone please tell Andrew O'Keefe to NOT do politics and stick to game shows, for gods sake he thinks he is soooooo funny but doesn't tickle my funnybone at all. Maybe l'm getting crotchety and stuck in my ways.....Oh god l fink l'm getting old!!!!!!!.................K

Posted by: auntykaz at November 25, 2007 8:43 AM

I'd say she's got verbal diarrhoea.

And that's the least of her worries.

Posted by: alphabetaphi at November 25, 2007 3:41 AM

Oh bloggers, some advice...should I do a one off free surfing lesson, or two for one pole dancing lessons? From the RSVP special offer cos of getting stamps at a certain time. What would you do?? They were the two choices that interested me the most.

Surfing would be a nice summery thing to do I guess...guys surf...and go to beaches, I could meet someone (Hopefully not in budgie smugglers)

Cheers from SS

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at November 25, 2007 2:35 AM

Hey everyone, yay, its great with the longer days and more sunshine. Not bad as a single, would be nice with that special person, but life is still good. Found a cool weblink about going from "limerance" to love (I googled the word limerance, someone mentioned it in a posting. Oh and it could happen in summer...so it is a relevant post.

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at November 25, 2007 2:21 AM

Touche, jpkool :-)
I've found that the prattle works in the blogs to fool one or two people into thinking I know what I'm on about, but it doesn't seem to work with a profile.

Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at November 25, 2007 12:01 AM

Rubitronraider....get over it...I sent you that message in a sarcastic tone as every time I logged on you were back in my inbox...why send it more than once!
I don't know what the problem is...who cares?
Why make such a big deal about it?

Posted by: brilliantblue at November 24, 2007 11:40 PM

expert, you forgot to mention poly-syllabic prattle. Or is that verbal colic?

Posted by: jpkool at November 24, 2007 9:42 PM

Ninaschen, you sound like a woman who has plenty to teach.

Malsie, if ever you find the name of that club in WA, do let me know.

Here's the upcoming schedule of Advice For Summer for the coming days:

Sunday: How to interest women at polling booths.

This will cover both female voters and paper-wasting campaign reps.

Monday: How to interest nurses at the local hospital.

Tuesday: How to pick the right evening classes. (This one may be scrapped in favour of another.)

Wednesday: How to hit on chicks at the Opera House. (This one may also be scrapped.)

Thursday: How to pick up chicks through random call centres.

Friday: How to use psychological tactics on your RSVP profile.

The magic of presuppositions, dangling closure, embedded commands, nested threads, scarcity, power phrases, lollipop language, ambiguity, pacing, meta-emotional stacking, operant conditioning, response trains, compliance momentum, anchoring, framing, reciprocity, authority, false disqualification, suggestive metaphors, and cognitive biases.

Saturday - Wednesday: short break

Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at November 24, 2007 8:50 PM

They are indeed, Malsie. And worth every drop of blood they extract. This ties in nicely to the summer theme of this blog (a first, for me, I think). It never ceases to amaze me how a few thorny sticks emerge from winter into the most wondrous and beautiful thing in summer. You have to love nature and life, don't you?

As for reliving my youth, you are on Malsie! Hope you have resilient hips! See you on the 1st!

Posted by: ninaschen at November 24, 2007 6:20 PM

Ninaschen, but aren't roses the most beautiful of flowers? I love the look and the fragrance, and constantly "stop to smell" them!
I think it's time to re-live your youth with "The Bump". I'd join you in that, no problem.

Posted by: malsie at November 24, 2007 5:52 PM

junebaby57, will look forward to hearing from you.

OLDE, yes, that random and unpredictable positive reinforcement is a mighty powerful tool for hooking someone in!
The best dance venue I ever found was in Fremantle, WA, with a lot of "alternative" types who obviously totally subscribed to your dancing theories. Very "original", very uninhibited. Moving to a beat sometimes appeared to be optional, but it was done with total self confidence and was fascinating to observe.

Thanks for sharing your poetry with us, brane. It's lovely to read it.
Sunny and HOT here in Tas today - wow, a miracle....

Posted by: malsie at November 24, 2007 5:44 PM

Okay, I'm done. Back to the great indoors for me. I've just been subjected to a vicious and unprovoked attack by my roses, which has left me bloodied and scarred (yes, OLDE not only do I quilt but I grow roses too. 'tis a sad life I lead).

OLDE, you brought a nostalgic tear to my eye with all your talk of dance moves. You thwacked me back to the 70s and all the cool discos that it was de rigueur to frequent on a Saturday night, in Melbourne. 'The Bump' dance was a particular favourite and the bruises on the hips lingered for days. Now I have bruises on my hips from falling out of bed (alone).

How I wish I had appreciated then, how special those days were. Youth is wasted on the young.

Posted by: ninaschen at November 24, 2007 5:42 PM

Good dance music on Slimey's MySpace page at the moment

Posted by: alphabetaphi at November 24, 2007 5:17 PM

HOW TO FAKE YOUR WAY ON THE DANCEFLOOR

The best way to fake your way on the dancefloor and look as if you know what you're doing is to realise that there's no such thing as faking your way on the dancefloor. You heard right.

Dancing isn't some form of expression etched in stone. There is no authoritarian structure inherent in dancing. Anything you do on a dancefloor short of entering a catatonic state can pass as a form of dance.

If you think anyone is going to spot you out as a non-dancer, think again. No more than 5% of the people in a typical club have any kind of background in formal dance training, and even the ones who do will likely decide your dancing is a form of casual, improvisational dance. In fact, many contemporary styles of dance shun choreographed sequences and simply come up with random movements strung together as a form of freestyle. If the krumper or the whirling dervish or the recreational therapist can pass muster as a dancer, then so can you. If the martial arts kata successfully disguised itself against oppressive regimes as a form of dance all those centuries, then trust me, you have nothing to worry about.

OK, so you won't be caught out as a bad dancer. That's half the equation. The other half is being thought of as a good dancer. The way to do that rests in your attitude. An abundance of confidence on the dancefloor goes a long way toward creating the illusion that you know what you're doing. Even should you look as if you DON'T know what you're doing (trust me, it won't happen, but suppose anyway), your confident attitude will give the impression that you don't give a damn. So don't be afraid to be expressive and take up your space. Get to the centre of the dancefloor and strut your stuff.

When in doubt, bounce left, bounce right, clap, spin, thrust hips, jump, squat, point, smile, star jump, high five random people, grind random women, do suggestive pelvic pumps, and slide. Do anything. Do whatever comes to mind.

In such locations, no woman is going to want to go horizontal with a guy who can't even manage himself vertically.

See you on the dancefloor.

Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at November 24, 2007 4:53 PM

fotographer, the $50 e-book is the hallmark of the real online dating experts. ;-) That's American dollars, so it's even more a rip-off than it seems.

malsie, scarcity & unpredictability are indeed powerful forms of influence. :-) Everything from the "limited time only" to the bloke who goes silent for a week and stops returning phone calls. See a man or woman every day, and he or she becomes complacent and starts taking you for granted. That's a lesson I've learnt the hard way.

junebaby, thanks for being a dedicated fan. When I'm up on the stage, it's people like you who let me know I'm doing a good deed.

Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at November 24, 2007 4:28 PM

It's a miserable day in Bris, too. Great time to relax, curl up with a pile of pillows, a movie and a box of choccies....my gardens can wait until the rain stops...

Posted by: hiddencharms at November 24, 2007 3:19 PM

Good morning all, it is another grey morning!!! The weather man lied!.
Malsie, I have your email now, will write during the week, re Hobart, which I am still excited about.

What happened to the sun this morning?

Brane, that as a great poem for a draft effort, very clever.

Woodnwine, hope that pole hasn't distracted you to much.

Have a great weekend all....jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at November 24, 2007 8:07 AM

Morning All.

Kitty, Since I couldn't find a poem like that and I enjoyed the topic I thought I'd write one. Here it is , copyright me today, between 2:00am and 2:25. I'll probably polish it a bit but here's a first draft.

Seasons

The dawn of spring set hearts on fire
To race the pulse with swift desire
The golden gleams that shines her hair
The gleeful glint that draws us there

In summers bloom our bodies strain
The twin backed beast sings loves refrain
The endless walks on country fields
The promise that a haystack yields

Yet autumn tempers summers lust
The golden leaves soon turn to rust
The swift hot breeze no longer blows
The chilling winds bring taste of snows

When winters frost lies deep around
The gleeful laugh a grating sound
When darkness ends the sun's desire
The cold has come to quench the fire

Anyway time for bed. I have to drive to Wollongong and vote tomorrow, then watch the election results at a friends place.

Then back to Sydney Sunday Morning to go boating on the harbour. It better be sunny.

I hope you all have a great weekend too.

Posted by: brane at November 24, 2007 3:25 AM

hey malsie, I will check out if Ninaschen has your email, or failing thatI will email you closer to the trip.

Today was a pretty crappy day, for some reason there is a big push on having paperwork up to date, so have just got home.
My boy has flown off to Iraq with his unit, he is so happy and excited, it must be a boy thing!!!
Good news is that I am off to the coast, will be at the beach and reading for 2 days, not back till monday!!!

So all play nice.
ODexpert keep up all the gr8 and often hilarious advice, don't drink to much. or better still if you do...have heaps of fun.

Woodnwine you have cracked me up with the pole for potentail dancers in your lounge!! Are you also planning a 3 day growth...where do u live again??
Every one have a fab weekend....jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at November 23, 2007 9:36 PM

junebaby57, okay, that would be great, we'll catch up on one of those days. Salamanca market on a Saturday is a fun thing to do, and lots of nice places for a drink, coffee or lunch.... if your work schedule permits. If there's anybody on here you think we may both be in touch with, that would be a good way to get in contact. Failing that, can you contact me, as I don't have any stamps and am not intending to buy any at this stage. Would that be okay?
Let me know if you want to on here, and I'll unhide my profile, as I do from time to time for "blogging" purposes. And btw, wishing a speedy return for your son and peace in your heart re the situation.

Posted by: malsie at November 23, 2007 8:40 PM

You may have hit upon another dating tip there, inadvertently, OLDE - occasionally be mysterious, enigmatic even; keep them wanting, keep them guessing, and introduce a hint of quiet desperation that imminent abandonment may be on the horizon... btw, have fun hurling your body around on the dance floor tonight.

Posted by: malsie at November 23, 2007 8:27 PM

Oh, "may not be around for a bit" means tonight is club-crawling night and there'll be a bit of a delay in my replies till late tomorrow. You'll notice I always catch up and reply to everyone, though, so don't panic.

Currently practising some new dance moves to trial out.

Tomorrow I'll respond to all comments and post the next installment of Advice For Summer, which I've decided will be about faking your way on the dancefloor. If anyone asks, you can just say you're a contemporary or freestyle or improv dancer. That advice will arrive in time for Saturday night, when the bouncers don't send you on your way because they don't like your eyebrow contours, and when you're not packed like sardines on the dancefloor.

Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at November 23, 2007 7:42 PM

Oh, OLDE, you can't leave us now - or if you must, I do hope it's because you've attracted the attention of some lovely young nymph who wishes to frolic with you in romantic bliss....

Posted by: malsie at November 23, 2007 7:18 PM

I have a question
where do people find all these burry out of date photos and then in some moment of irrational behaviour or drunkeness believe that is what they actually look like ?

Posted by: thefotografer at November 23, 2007 6:13 PM

onlinedatingexpert
You are a little out in your fee structure
People in my profession charge between $227.00 and $330.00 per hour.
For psychologists registered with the NSW Board the fee is much lower but nowhere near the $50.00 you suggest

Posted by: thefotografer at November 23, 2007 6:02 PM

onlinedatingexpert
don't leave i need your comments if you would just go over to how do you rate and give me some feed back.
(But you have to be serious with your reply)

damn !!! this is not what I expected from a 20001 Lake Wanaka Central Otago reisling.
Back to the German ones for me !!!

Posted by: thefotografer at November 23, 2007 4:32 PM

May not be around for a bit. Good luck, guys.

Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at November 23, 2007 4:22 PM

HOW TO DEFEAT SHYNESS, SOCIAL ANXIETY, AND APPROACH ANXIETY

Approach anxiety, n. The state of paralysis and fright experienced by a bloke who wants to but can't approach the woman or group of women he's laid his eyes upon.

This installment of Advice For Summer is sure to be the one that immortalises me in these blogs. What I am offering is the Holy Grail of dating advice, the secret formula for transmuting the lead of a lonely life into the gold of gorgeous girls.

Well, maybe not.

I am going to show you how to approach individual women or groups of women with complete ease and confidence. I should stress that I make no guarantees you'll get anywhere with those women or make a good impression (obviously I'm on this site for a reason), but you'll feel on top of the world all the same, as though you've regressed to a childlike state when approaching girls was easy and fun. You'll feel that you can talk to anyone, anywhere.

Unlike most dating experts, I'm not going to drag on about how it's the fear of rejection that stops you from approaching women when and where you want, and charge you $50 for that advice. I'm going to assume you already know that. Further, I'll never charge for my advice, so if it doesn't work for you, well, you know what they say about a free lunch.

So let's take it for granted that it's the fear of rejection that stops you approaching women. Rejection is a form of pain. You're probably aware on some level that there are deep-lying systems in the human brain that are said to have two and only two impulses: seek pleasure and avoid pain. When it comes to the fear of rejection, the pleasure of succeeding is overshadowed by the pain of failing, so you don't even try at all. Two common tricks are to, one, make the pleasure of succeeding overshadow the pain of failing; or, two, make the pain of not-even-trying overshadow the pain of trying-yet-failing. To do the latter, one would conjure up in the mind all the painful feelings associated with those lonely weekends. Which of the two tricks you use will depend on whether you're more inclined to seek pleasure or more inclined to avoid pain when it comes to other areas in your life.

OK, if that's all you need, then great. You can virtually self-talk yourself into approaching women. But I'm going to assume you need much, much more. Maybe you've been to a few clinical psychologists or psychotherapists or "helpful" friends & relatives in your life, and you know what to expect: advice that sounds good but that just doesn't work. It seems as if those dispensing the advice are living in Hollywood romances and don't have the required level of cynicism needed to understand that textbook characters aren't to be found in the real world, a world where the extra-second eye contact and the pleasant introduction and the warm smile and the reflection of core values and the pacing & leading and the mirroring and the mood-matching and the sly joke are met with the cold shoulder and the refrain of "I have a boyfriend." (Perhaps your good night is characterised by whether you get the verbal rejection along with the non-verbal rejection -- some women forgo the verbal rejection altogether.)

Incidentally, I have just paced the reality of the typical male, thereby creating rapport, thereby making him more receptive to the advice I am about to offer. Only difference is I haven't done it in the form of a web-copy sales letter, nor am I charging an hourly rate.

Let me tell you something about many "scientific" experiments conducted by experimental psychologists working in the fields of communication theory and social psychology: they are conducted in a different world. There are theories out there, such as social penetration theory and uncertainty reduction theory, that are developed by watching two strangers interact for the first time and by charting the development of future interactions. The question that may spring to mind is, How the hell do they find two strangers interacting for the first time? Well, if you can't find 'em, make 'em: let two volunteers, strangers to each other and well aware of the experiment, get to know each other. Plop them in a lab (or maybe even a coffee shop to "simulate" a real-world setting) and watch them communicate. Yeah. What are the chances of witnessing the real-world "Bugger off" or "I have a boyfriend" or "I'm not interested" or "I'm kinda busy" happen in such a situation? Yeah. Zilch. That's just an example of how many of these theories are developed. Those theories then commence their 5-year journey into the clinical setting. Modern physicists and anthropologists are well aware of the idea that the observer influences the observed, but many experimental psychologists take that idea into the realm of the absurd.

Moving on to the meat.

Fear of rejection is an instance of the more general fear of failure. Let's consider another instance of the more general fear of failure and see whether it sheds light on the fear of rejection. In the psychology of education, a relatively recent development has been an investigation into the theory of subconscious self-sabotage, a coping mechanism employed by students when it comes to exams. Rather than try only to fail, which would cause pain, many students, even straight-A students, apparently sabotage their efforts in some large or tiny way that allows them to rationalise a poor grade as the result of something under their control. The straight-A student who crams at the last minute -- sometimes the very morning of the exam -- has the rationalisation that he or she could have obtained the customary A grade "if only" he or she had made a proper study effort. Whatever the form of self-sabotage, it is a coping mechanism that allows the student to rationalise a failed grade.

The important point is that the coping mechanism described above WORKS. Might it be possible to introduce a coping mechanism into the fear of rejection?

There are two ways to defeat the fear of rejection:

1. Ensure you're not rejected.
2. Ensure you have a coping mechanism for being rejected.

Option 1 breaks down into the following:

1a. Ensure you're not rejected by never approaching women.
1b. Pay some dating coach $2,000 to attend his seminar and learn how supposedly to "make" women not reject you, read books on the subject that again are about "making" women not reject you, read websites on the subject that are, yep, about "making" women not reject you.

I'm not saying that option 1b isn't a valid option. If you're completely hopeless with women, you're sure to pick up many things that make you far less hopeless. And I haven't seen every seminar or read every book, so I'm not presumptive enough to blanket diss every single one. Indeed, I'm aware of many "dating experts" out there (the real ones, not the parody ones like me!) who are pushing very interesting methods.

Anyway, I'm interested in option 2. The fear of rejection is missing a good coping mechanism. A coping mechanism would be something that allows you to rationalise the rejection as a result of something you've said or done rather than as a result of the fact you just plain suck or as a result of "she was recently dumped" or "her pet iguana died." A coping mechanism would make the rejection a rejection of what you've said and done, not a rejection of who you are. There would be no blow to your self-image. Like the students mentioned above, your failing grade with one particular woman or group of women could be rationalised as the result of something under your control, not as the result of something that's not under your control.

The reality of the world means the coping mechanism we develop must be extreme, something unlikely to be recommended in a clinical setting.

I've come up with two forms of coping mechanism: passive and active. A passive coping mechanism would be something about the way you look, your appearance. You'd wear something totally outlandish, something that goes totally against the grain. Any combination of mismatched socks, a propeller hat, underwear on the outside, a backwards dress shirt, two ties, a highly self-deprecating T-shirt slogan, a pink cowboy hat, a red clown nose, etc., would form a passive coping mechanism. Thanks to the goth and punk subcultures, you really have to do something unique and novel to get a good passive coping mechanism happening. Whatever the look you choose, it must NOT under any circumstances give the impression that you think it's a good look. It must have a deliberately outlandish feel about it.

An active coping mechanism is something you do or say. One example would be walking up to a woman or group of women and just making the loudest fart noise possible. Other examples including picking your nose while you introduce yourself, speaking with a mouthful of potato chips, speaking normally while your middle finger is raised, and any form of social violation.

Everything about your look and behaviour must indicate that you expect failure and simply... do... not... care. The ironic thing is that, like some Taoist or Zen master, you'll probably have more success in doing something by not trying to do it -- or, for the failure-prone guys among you, even trying to do the exact opposite. The biggest turn-off is the guy who tries too hard. There is something different about the guy who expects to fail and who just... does... not... care.

That last idea brings me to my final point. The coping mechanisms mentioned may actually gear you for success. One of the interesting findings to emerge from Ericksonian hypnosis is the idea of patterns and pattern interrupts. When a woman enters a club, it's as if she's pressed play to a cassette that will handle all the usual events. She's running on auto pilot. Guy says hello, respond get lost. Guy offers drink, fork to either refusal or take-drink-and-get-rid-of-him. Guy stares, avert eye contact. Guy orients body toward you or leans, commence non-verbal rejection. Guy talks to friend, extract her from location. Those are patterns. A pattern interrupt is something for which she is not prepared and for which she'll experience momentary shock and confusion as she processes the new event. Erickson could form a pattern interrupt out of a handshake, and in that instant of confusion, implant powerful subconscious suggestions. When it comes to the clubs and other locations, more powerful forms of pattern interrupts are called for. The coping mechanisms described above serve not only as ways to overcome the fear of approaching women but also as ways to knock them out of their prescripted behaviour and responses and give you a fighting chance.

There'll come a time, sooner than you think, when you no longer need the coping mechanisms. Your level of success with women may still be the same, but at least you'll be approaching more of them, which is the first half of the battle. I'm still working on the second half.

Good luck. And blow some really big farts for me.

Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at November 23, 2007 4:21 PM

let me correct you brilliantblue

you said you were interested and waiting for an email
you should not lie

Posted by: rubitonraider at November 23, 2007 2:25 PM

Thanks for your comments and compliments, all. I read them all very carefully. In light of the comments on the value of the 5 o'clock shadow, men who've been following my 6-hour daily grooming routine may want to shave off (enjoy the pun) 15 minutes by shaving only every 3 days or so, depending on your individual circumstances.

Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at November 23, 2007 2:06 PM

waterbombe - I wish that was the case.
Summer lovin' - well sunny Qld is off to a strange start this year. Usually by now we'd all be down at the beach working on our summer tans (or getting rid of our winter-white look) but the weather is just so changeable. Hey wouldn't it be great if we all met someone before Christmas? Then we could put out the misseltoe (no idea how you spell that - Weta - help!)

Posted by: woodnwine at November 23, 2007 1:24 PM

woodnwine, those women who are walking smack into that pole must be blinded by your beauty. t's obvious.

Posted by: waterbombe at November 23, 2007 1:17 PM

Rubitonraider...if you stopped sending the kisses through to my inbox I wouldn't have to keep sending a reply to delete you out of my inbox.
Off course you're too young...I thought by sending you that one you might stop!
Its simple really!

Posted by: brilliantblue at November 23, 2007 12:31 PM

Hi misswendyxx - I agree with what you say completely and this also belongs in the First Phone Call blog. I have also noticed that some women write lovely emails but are not at all the same when you talk to them. Spell check, cut & paste, backspace are all wondeful tools but you can't use them when you are talking to someone.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 23, 2007 12:10 PM

Hi Seraphsuzie - Reminds me of a bad experience I had awhile ago with chat. After exchanging a couple of nice emails with someone I thought to be quite nice, I decided to do the chat thing. First up it was apparent that this person was a little different to the one emailing. He apologized for not being able to type so I excused that (we can't all be touch typists) but it is just a little hard to get a dialogue going with yes and no answers. I was beginning to regret entering into the chat as some of the responses were like I was talking to Korg 70,000 bc (at this point I was planning my escape). Then low and behold he had the nerve to ask me to "WAIT" as he was "goin' out for a ciggy"! Of course I thanked him for his time, as obviously mine was not important and closed the chat box down. Just goes to show you how emails can be cleverly orchestrated and fined tuned to be something obviously they are not. Maybe this post would have done better in "if it is too good to be true it probably is" blog.

Posted by: misswendyxx at November 23, 2007 12:01 PM

Malsie - I installed a pole in the center of my room hoping women would dance on it but so far they just walk into it.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 23, 2007 11:48 AM

brilliantblue
I only sent you an I admire your honesty that's it.
I did not want to waste a stamp on you leading you on when you are quite clearly old enough to be my mother so just let it go please

Posted by: rubitonraider at November 23, 2007 9:28 AM

Good morning all. a lovely wet day here in the capital, I have already voted, and am off to the coast on sat morning.
Malsie, would love to catch up, it will be , probably the Sunday...maybe saturday, depending if our work on Friday night works out. Am organising a new Comms Room, has to be after hours to relocate all the IT and Telco stuff, so we don't interupt the work schedules of all the public servants. I will know about the sat/sun thing on the weekend I am there. I will stay in touch, as I would love to meet up. I have never been to Tas before, so was thrilled when the customer agreed I needed to be there.

Have a lovely day all.jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at November 23, 2007 7:43 AM

brane, you sound seriously "dangerous" with your 3-day growth - best junebaby57 and me keep away for our own good!

kittyspirit, I was also reminded of the old Simon and Garfunkel song, April Come She Will - which goes through the seasons of love, and ends with winter, "a love once new, has now grown old" - or something similar, sure you get the gist.

My daughter does pole dancing as a hobby. She loves the fitness and dancing aspect of it (she also teaches ballroom dancing).

junebaby57, I don't live in Hobart, but not that far from it. I get back from Perth 9 Jan (going for Christmas), but should be able to catch up if you'd like. That would be great!
Have a lovely day, all.

Posted by: malsie at November 23, 2007 7:26 AM

Good morning FunLover. Sky is grey, insides are blue. Cant wait to grab that broom with the kangaroo (on it's tail).
Fly high in a sky filled with summer....

Posted by: amuso at November 23, 2007 6:44 AM

Yes , Godnight all, I'm supposed to be rowing out to a boat on the harbour to see if it will start and clean all the pigeon poop off it in time for summer boating. Umm in 4.5 hours

Night all

Posted by: brane at November 23, 2007 1:43 AM

Phil
The poem is similar , but not the one .
Thanks for sharing :) .
Yes one would have to be fit , i'll stick to jogging hehe .
Okz now i'm really off to bed , thanks for the laughs :)
night

Posted by: kittyspirit at November 23, 2007 1:41 AM

Well i'm off to bed b4 i fall asleep at my pc .
cheerz

Posted by: kittyspirit at November 23, 2007 1:37 AM

Yes, , there more involved than a workout on the parallel bars if you ask me. You'd have to be fit to do that

Posted by: brane at November 23, 2007 1:35 AM

Ok how about this

Love and the seasons
by Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Spring

A sudden softness in the wind;
A glint of song, a-wing;
A fragrant sound that trails behind,
And joy in everything.

A sudden flush upon the cheek,
The teardrop quick to start;
A hope too delicate to speak,
And heaven within the heart.

Summer

A riotous dawn and the sea's great wonder;
The red, red heart of a rose uncurled;
And beauty tearing her veil asunder,
In sight of a swooning world.

A call of the soul, and the senses blended;
The Springtime lost in the glow of the sun,
And two lives rushing, as God intended,
To meet and mingle as one.

Autumn

The world is out in gala dress;
And yet it is not gay.
Its splendour hides a loneliness
For something gone away.

(Laughter and music on the air;
A shower of rice and bloom.
Smiles for the fond departing pair---
And then the empty room.)

Winter

Two trees swayed in the winter wind; and dreamed
The snowflakes falling about them were bees
Singing among the leaves. And they were glad,
Knowing the dream would soon come true.

Beside the hearth an aged couple rocked,
And dozed; and dreamed the friends long passed from sight
Were with them once again. They woke and smiled, Knowing the dream would soon come true.

Posted by: brane at November 23, 2007 1:33 AM

Yeah if i find the poem i'll share it with thee .
Lol hehe i'm glad you enjoyed your night out . Yes i would believe there is a trainingschool . Did you know that up here , a lot of gal do pole dancing as a hobby . It is a really good workout so they say ;) .

Posted by: kittyspirit at November 23, 2007 1:31 AM

I can't think of that atm kitty, though I will look, my minds a blank on stage subject now, all that comes to mind is "Ode to a coy mistress"

Oh and yes the pole dancers were good. We were standing right behind the judges. A very professional event. Would you believe there's even a training school on paramatta road. I kid thee not.
I personally thought numbers 3 & 5 were best but we didn't stay around to see who goes into the finals.

Posted by: brane at November 23, 2007 1:22 AM

Anyone here know the poem based on Love throughout seasons ?
My mind has gone blank .
It's kinda like he/she is into you but by the time winter comes , he/she is not that into you .

Posted by: kittyspirit at November 23, 2007 1:12 AM

The blogs have returned to the fun stuff again, it is gr8.

I have just gotten home, I have had a big week catching up at work, my older son goes to Iraq Friday morning, the younger one finished his year 12 exams this week and after a customer meeting today, I am going to Hobart on Jan 11th for a job I have. Will be there 4 days!!! Any of you live in Hobart? ( sometimes I luuuv being a Project Manager !!)

So this blog, summer lovin, has made me laugh tonight.

Brane , did you get to your pole dancing viewing, you are right, it would be very rude to refuse your brother in law's hospitality.

ODExpert, your gym advice was wicked!!!

Brane the 3 day growth make a guy look like a bad boy, sexy, and I for one am very attracted to bad boys. But I am trying really hard to break the habit, now that I am grown up!!!!!! 2nd thoughts, bugger it, I will stay bad!!!! Generally though I like clean shaven.

Now profile preferences, that has given me a few LOL's thank you guys, I really needed it.

Waterbombe , you are correct, once a woman gives her intelligent opinion, you don't need any other info, you have all you need. spot on!! And the colour gradings to white lies, shit that is good, I am going to use a little pearl lie next time I fib!!!
And I drink my vodka straight with Kahlua, with white cream or is that ecru cream sitting on top of it!! These black Russians are my fav drink. So I need a social drinker!

Height, I like tall as I am touching 5'8" and I wear heels, I want a big man, so 6" is gr8. Though a man, who doesn't understand shoes, told me height doesn't matter as you don't wear your shoes to bed! But what about all the rest of the time? Though after a few black Russians, I am usually barefoot.

Seraphsuzie. BB said to me that you have to kiss lots of frogs before you find your prince, I still believe that there is a prince or princess out there for all of us. Its just taking a while to get to him...

So have a lovely Friday all, am now off to bed...jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at November 23, 2007 12:56 AM

Lol Phil haha you crack me up , i'm actually kinda boring hehe.
But hey you'll get use to it .

Posted by: kittyspirit at November 23, 2007 12:51 AM

Yes , Malsie, I was wondering because I have such thick curly hair if I let let it grow long and could probably even have an afro at my age ( not that I'd want to). Some women have prefered my with short hair and some have just loved to run their hands through the curls. Some have liked me cleanshaven, where I look younger but less intellgent and attractive. Alas my once red beard is now going to be mostly grey I think. I currently am in the 3 day growth phase which I quite like.

Posted by: brane at November 23, 2007 12:47 AM

Well Kitty after looking at your profile, perhaps you are the exception that proves the rule. I can't imagine that anyone who looks like you has a boring life.

Cheers
Phil

Posted by: brane at November 23, 2007 12:18 AM

Brane
I like your 6pm comment , thanks for reminding me that i am boring and religious .
non-drinker = I'm essentially boring and/or religious haha .

Posted by: kittyspirit at November 22, 2007 11:49 PM

I like bald foreigners . Of course i like guy to carry some weight :)

Posted by: kittyspirit at November 22, 2007 11:30 PM

I so hear you on that seraphsuzie.... the one's that annoy me are the one's that send long detailed emails, you respond and never hear again or their profile disappears.

I have met some great guys on here, don't get me wrong, but the amount who don't reply to Kisses or after contact disappear is staggering .... to dodgy if you ask me (even if you dont' ask me :P )

Happy searching all :)

Posted by: jodieanne71 at November 22, 2007 11:10 PM

Personally l have a liking for a man with stubble, and l really like nicely trimmed goatees. baldness also works well whether shaven or naturally so.

the full monty beard wise does nothing for me at all.

Heightwise, anything my height or taller is fine.
waterbombe an interesting post regarding offwhite fibs, your color match is priceless....ecru indeed..............k

Posted by: auntykaz at November 22, 2007 11:03 PM

its not restricted to men suzie women do it also......................Its a scardy cat thing and they have not intestinal fortitude to continue or tell you the truth.

Posted by: twoeyes at November 22, 2007 10:22 PM

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr what is it with some men???? YOu spend a stamp on them after they request an email.. you chat .. and it seems to go well.. then half way through a conversation they just don't answer you back.. and you sit.. and wait and wait and wait.. you ask if they are there.. then after about 10 minutes you decide to close the chat box and try again.. no response. so you send an email.. no response.. I just wasted yet another stamp on yet another loser.. YAY for me!!!! :-( NOT HAPPY!!

Posted by: seraphsuzie at November 22, 2007 9:43 PM

Hmmm, Malsie, good advice...you can't be too careful, ODE, I mean we are all on a knife-edge of desperation on this site, admit it or not, and if 1 inch is going to make the difference to your chance of eternal sunshine, well, you need to think carefully.

Frankly 6"1" is too tall for me - I'm a feminist so of course I don't like looking up to men - but let's be pragmatic, the small matter of the 30 years between us is probably going to be the bigger issue. I think the chances of you and me hooking up are slim to anorexic so I'll ignore the height thing and press on to discuss the image of the "nondrinker".

This is where I think you will have a problem with attracting young women, many of whom, my own children included, think that alcohol poisoning on the weekend is de rigeur. Now, to cope with this reality, just for the next 5 years until they sober up, could you not consider lying just a little? I'm not in favour of white lies, but there is a lesser evil - a lie that is either ecru, pearl, alabaster or creme. That is, an off-white lie. Not many men tell these kinds of lies because not many men can recognise these colours - white and brown is enough of a colour range for most men, who are confused by beige. But you are a sophisticate, ODE, I can just tell, and I'm sure you can select something suitable from one of the many off-white lies now available through top-end interior decorators.

Practically, I see it working like this - If you as the gentleman you are always buys the drinks, how is your target going to spring you on an off-white lie, no matter what shade you have chosen? You could be drinking vodka (a very fashionable drink, I believe, but how would I know, we quilters are sherry-tipplers from way back, so do check that with the interior decorator). Keep this remarkable generosity up for a week or two, and by the time she finds out you have fabricated an ecru lie, say, she will be so enamoured with your wit, intelligence, warmth and physique, not to mention dizzy from your height, that she will forgive you for not having lapsed into drunken idiocy as you progressed through each evening. Truly, ODE, I can’t see you losing with this strategy, provided you are willing to compromise a fraction on white. Is it so much to ask?

Posted by: waterbombe at November 22, 2007 9:26 PM

brane, happy to discuss the topic of hair with you. I love hair. My own is fairly long and I'm likely to keep it that way. Opposite with any obvious facial hair - any stray ones definitely not allowed....
On men, yep, love hair again; love the look, love the feel of it.
Facial hair (on men) - really like beards, but don't like moustaches.
3 day growth can indeed be extremely sexy (think George Michael from the 80s, was it? I liked that look.....) Yes, I think it's a very primal thing for some reason.
However - I must say I know I'm not typical of women in my preferences here, so I've been told. Apparently most women don't like beards and prefer clean shaven. I have no idea why. The stubble may be scratchy (but worth the pain) but beards are not at all and look so.... well, male, I suppose!

Posted by: malsie at November 22, 2007 9:00 PM

ODE and malsie, Let us continue brainstorming. Since we are discussing many thing let us consider hair. Both cranial and facial. While men obviously want a woman with cranial but not facial hair the issue is more complex for women.
Baldness can be caused by a overabundance of testosterone reacting with certain genes. It does not mean that all bald men men have more testostorone and hence more likely to be alpha males. Cold climate men often have thick and woolly hair. It depends on the genes.
Facial hair is another matter, I'm curious whether more women like cleanshaven men as against bearded men. There's also the issue of neat, trimmed beards vs rip van winkles.
I do notice that more women seem to notice me and some even approach and talk to me during the 3 day growth phase.
Perhaps there's something in a three day growth that women are attracted to. A sense of masculinity or ruggedness perhaps.
ODE, perhaps you are too metrosexual.

Posted by: brane at November 22, 2007 8:24 PM

OLDE, re the height question: a tricky one, but let's brainstorm it...
6 foot would generally be regarded as pretty tall already, I would think, so maybe adding the extra inch is overdoing things a touch.
However, many women have written in these very blogs about (usually tall women, but not necessarily) how much they "really need a tall man". This is of course their personal preference - nothing wrong with that. To cover all options, the 6 foot 1 description may be the better way to go therefore.
If you actually think someone is going to notice any height description discrepancy when they meet you, perhaps arrange a venue where you can be seated for the majority of the time (obviously waiter/waitress service), with synchronised toilet breaks (for you and your lady, that is, not you and waiter/waitress).

Posted by: malsie at November 22, 2007 7:49 PM

I was going to say, OLDE, if you are doing some sort of research and want some input from us lot, you only have to ask.... but then I remembered some while ago there was a blogger writing a book about internet dating, from memory, and asked for input. Maybe people contacted her privately, but I don't remember ever reading any responses in the blogs! So perhaps your approach is in fact a more efficacious one - keeping us entertained in the process (well, some of us).

Posted by: malsie at November 22, 2007 7:30 PM

waterbombe, brane, notgodsgift -- thanks for the answers. No, you're not guinea pigs, waterbombe ;-) I'm truly curious.

Brane, your comments have made me decide to go back to "short-term or long-term relationship". I'm also tempted to change "non-drinker", but I fear that one white lie will lead to another, until eventually I'm looking at a 25-year-old oiled bodybuilder. ;-)

Notgodsgift, same deal with the "non-drinker"! Hanging out with me is a recipe for getting slapped. I have no shame. In fact, my next advice column tomorrow will be about overcoming shame and social anxiety. I guarantee my methods are workable for even the shyest of guys, and I promise you they're unlike anything you've ever seen before. In a matter of days, you'll be approaching tons of women without thinking twice. The method to the madness is cutting edge, and it's certainly not the typical "feel the fear and do it anyway" or "auto-suggestive confidence" package, nor is it something that works only under the psychotherapy context. I promise you that guys who follow my method will experience a life-altering change and will feel a freedom they've never felt before.

Oh, question about height: Would you people say a lot of members cheat an extra inch by using the measurement with shoes on? I'm aware that even some doctors take readings with shoes on. I'm caught between putting 6'0" (no shoes) and 6'1" (shoes), you see.

Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at November 22, 2007 7:05 PM

waterbombe: Do you ever get the strange feeling that we are being used as guinea pigs for someone's psychology studies...What's up, expert? Too much time on the blogs and not enough on the text books?

Posted by: hiddencharms at November 22, 2007 6:55 PM

Slim: Johnny Depp, Jude Law, Brad Pitt.

Athletic: Roger Federer, Daniel Craig.

Average: This is more difficult, maybe George Clooney, Matt Damon.

A bit overweight: Vince Vaughan's a little on the chubby side and Matt Damon too when he's between films.

Overweight: Most people.

Summer loving - forget it. I'm going to New York to get some winter romance.

Burberry Pie

Posted by: mendelssohn at November 22, 2007 6:24 PM

Summer loving? Huh! Summer nothing more like it. Today I've had a kiss from an average-heighted guy with a very blurry photo and one from a smoker - it wasn't the snake ownership that got you rejected - it was the cigarettes.

Summer's a bad time to be single - never did dining solo look so sad.

Mendelssohn

Posted by: mendelssohn at November 22, 2007 6:03 PM

Moving right along , I'll attempt to answer the rest of ODE's questions

* "short-term relationship" on a profile -- is it something you react to, and if so, in what way? Or is it something you don't care about?

Long-Term only sounds desperate and clingy. Short-Term only sounds sleazy. Like a deep and meaningful one night stand

* "undecided" vs. "want children" vs. "don't want children"

Again Want children sounds desperate while undecided sounds the best option, don't want usually mean you have all the baggage you can handle.

* "very private" vs. "private" vs. "average" vs. "social" vs. "very social"

very-private =dull
Private= smart enough to think before speaking.
average = open to interpretation
social = I'm interesting, but I talk a lot.
Very social = What you want to talk too?, just shutup till I'm finished. 2009 looks good.

* "non-smoker" vs. "smoker"
Well after 22 days of non-smoking I won't comment

* "non-drinker" vs. "occasional/social drinker

non-drinker = I'm essentially boring and/or religious

Occasional/social = I like a drink but don't live for it.

Often = I'm an alcoholic.

Posted by: brane at November 22, 2007 6:00 PM

Hi Waterbombe,

I am proudly average I dont need to brag about...........oh, you mean belly size!!!

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at November 22, 2007 3:03 PM

Yeah, size is a good one. Here's what I think it means when men say it:

Slim- skinny or scrawny (clearly not my taste but i don't think anyone is losing sleep over that)

Athletic- plays sport and actually looks pretty good

Average - either means (1) has quite a large pot belly , an extra 20+ kilos(if the guy is short) or (2) looks good (if the guy is over 5/10" )(got to do your height-weight ratio calcs here)

Sightly Overweight - carries an extra 40 kilos

Largeish- over 50 kilos extra, cannot do the horizontal tango at all, you will have to do it

Posted by: waterbombe at November 22, 2007 2:27 PM

There you go, Brane.

Gotta go prepare for the late-night-shopping run, so I'll reply to the rest later.

Have a good evening.

Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at November 22, 2007 2:06 PM

HOW TO PICK UP AT THE GYM

I know, I know: Keep your feet stable, your chin up, and don't hyperextend or slump your back.

But I'm a serious dating expert, not a stand-up comedian, so let's get down to business.

If you have only 12- to 13-inch biceps like me, and no 6-pack... like me, you know that heading to the gym can be a very tormenting experience. You may think you have no chance at all of picking up a chick at the gym.

Sure, you could attend Pump class, yoga class, aerobics class -- if you want to be known in the female locker room as Mr Obvious.

The first step is to show the ladies that you're serious about your fitness routine. A man who's serious and disciplined about his fitness routine is probably going to be serious and disciplined when it comes to love. What you lack in lean body mass and 1-rep max, you can make up for in seriousness and discipline.

The best way of showing you're serious and disciplined is to arrive with the following:

* a spandex gym suit. Every bloke turns up in shorts & T-shirt or a tracksuit, so you should aim to stand out from the crowd.

* a lifting belt and headband. Combined with the spandex suit, this will form 90% of your gym look.

* monitoring equipment. This consists of a heart-rate monitor strapped across your spandex, with corresponding wrist meter. You should also have a stopwatch dangling from your neck. And slap on a pedometer for counting your steps between gym stations. So that's at least three devices on a wrist: watch, heart-rate meter, and pedometer.

* notebook and pen. A guy who's particular about sets, reps, and loads will likely remember important dates and functions.

* a portable mini-stand with your supplements. This is where you line out your 4L water tank, multivitamins, essential fatty acids, creatine, glutamine, thermogenic fat-burners, electrolyte replacements, etc.

* gym etiquette. Be sure to arrive with this. Gym etiquette is about self-respect and respect for others. Be the guy who places a towel on a bench so as not to leave sweat all over it. Use deodorant. Use a sharpie disposal container for your syringes, since one of the pet peeves in a gym is the guy who leaves his syringes lying around after shooting up his steroid/prohormone/growth-hormone cocktail. Don't be rude to others. When you're finished with something, put it back.

Now that you have the basics covered, it's time to indicate interest in the woman or women of your choice.

Funny thing about women at the gym is that a lot of them seem to be into old-fashioned values. They're not the snobs that you find at the clubs and related venues. This may be an endorphin effect, but who knows?

My favourite technique is to be the guy who's there to lend a hand. When you enter the gym, the first thing to do is to walk over to a group of women and let them know you're not the usual meathead who's in love with himself. Just go on over and say, "Hey, ladies, if any of you need a hand, I'll be over there." Then between sets, walk back over to the ladies to observe and comment on any defects in their exercise form. When they're doing squats, just position yourself right in front of them so you can see whether the knees are going over the toes, whether there's a poor pelvic form, or anything like that. A lot of people stare at their feet, so the idea is to indicate your eyes with a V gesture and say, "Keep your eyes fixed here." When she's doing a bench press, don't distract her by talking. Instead you should remind her to breathe properly by hovering over her and exaggerating your inhales and exhales, which will allow her to mimic your breathing. You should keep your eyes fixated on her pectoral area so you can see that the bar touches the proper point of the sternum.

The gym is the one place where chivalry still thrives.

Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at November 22, 2007 2:04 PM

ODE,

Serious but true this one for me; Drinking Habits. I never go near anyone that has "non-drinker" on their profile (this probably should be under Profile Dealmaker and Breakers). How can you trust someone that doesn't drink?? To me they then fall into 2 categories

1) They have no personality or are super-religious (another dealbreaker)

2) They are Kim Bassinger's character out of the movie "Blind Date".

I could handle (2) if it was Kim Bassinger, but otherwise......NO!!!

Mate, you and I just gotta get together for a few beers at a poor quality pub; you crack the jokes and I will take the face slaps for you (offend boyfriends, husbands etc though and you are on your own)!!!

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at November 22, 2007 1:58 PM

Summer cyber love........

Is this real or in my dreams
My worlds unraveling at the seams
You have my heart