RSVP Blog
Advice to new members.
If you had a friend who was about to join RSVP, what's the one word of advice you would pass on?
Think back to when you joined ... maybe there was something that surprised you or perhaps things didn't turn out quite as you expected?
Posted June 25, 2007 3:07 PM
Latest Comments
Just read a profile from a member that emailed me and immediately discounted him - why? I counted the word "I" 15 times in his profile - it really is all about him isn't it. Good for the newbies to know what turns people off.
Posted by: naudy at November 26, 2007 6:24 PM
be up front and honest, there are people out there who will accept you for who you are, not who you think they want you to be, that includes photos, don't post old ones, it is not a good way to start.
Posted by: paradigm69 at November 26, 2007 5:37 PM
Be up front and honest, regardless of your situation there are people out there who will accept you for who you are, not who you think people want you to be, this includes the latest photo's don't post old ones if you don't have new ones, regardless of what you look like now, you can't hide it and it isn't a good way to start a relationship.
Posted by: paradigm69 at November 26, 2007 5:35 PM
Hi Guys. As a relative newby, i was wondering about the etiquette around replying to kisses. Is it acceptable to ask for the other person to send an email (after all they did initiate contact) or is it my job as the man to pay for the stamps for an email (which is sexist). Some people seem to get quite stroppy about being asked to send an email. Is there some system of sending a second email if you don't have stamps just so I know. I recently replied with the request for an email and heard nothing, so do I reinitiate contact? I don't want to be rude, but the choices of reply we have are so limited and the price of stamps just keeps going up.
Posted by: euthymia at November 26, 2007 3:24 PM
Thankyou very much for your advice guys.
I have changed a few things on my profile. Funny how you don't see things a certain way until someone else can point them out to you .... nicely.
'waterbombe'.. know exactly what you mean. Had one or two of them from here already. One of them even expecting to come before my children. Ha. yeah right. Never happen.
Gee. Where's all the 'good' people?
Posted by: pennygirls01 at November 25, 2007 10:17 AM
yep, I agree with woodnwine, Pennysgirl01- you sound warm, open and positive, but you mention your animals before your children. A guy would expect not to come before your children, but put this way he'd think he's never going to come before your animals. No on wants to be third...just a thought.
Also from one woman to another, can I suggest you take out "it takes me a long time to trust"...I think you are better off sounding positive and strong on a profile in order to deter the men looking for an easy target. There are quite a few of them on a site like RSVP. Watch out for them!
Posted by: waterbombe at November 23, 2007 6:49 PM
pennysgirl01 - I looked at your profile and you seem like quite a nice person to me but I would suggest some re-writing to remove some of the negative things. Don't mention the type of men you are sick of meeting, just the type you want to meet.
Also, I think you make too much of the dogs, men might feel like they would only ever come a close 2nd. I also have 2 dogs that I love heaps but a woman would always come first in my life. Hope these ideas help a bit and good luck.
Posted by: woodnwine at November 23, 2007 11:56 AM
Pennygirls01.. it seems it takes quite a while to get noticed by the clique.. the 'beautiful' people who mostly talk amongst themselves.
I think your profile is great.. it shows you have a sense of humour, that you have a wide range of interests and that you are an interesting person. If I were male and in your age group I would send you a kiss.
Posted by: mushie6 at November 22, 2007 8:08 PM
I've been reading these blogs and not alot of it seems to be about advice for first-timers.
I've already asked a couple of questions here and no-one ever answers.
It seems to be for the same mindless, bored people that have nothing to do than whinge and bitch about how other people seem to be doing things. I would only like some advice on my profile yet only read about people criticising one another. everyone does things differently. Why be so nasty and rude.
Where's the advice?
Posted by: pennygirls01 at November 21, 2007 12:14 AM
people mature at different rates.......................
Posted by: twoeyes at November 19, 2007 11:06 PM
brilliantblue - yes, but only if she was a 37 year old mother.
Posted by: woodnwine at November 19, 2007 12:10 PM
Advice to new members? Be honest in your profile! I've met several people who have lied about their age. Whilst a persons age is not everything, their ability to be honest is.
Posted by: jovial67 at November 18, 2007 11:53 AM
Sexylittleshortly made a comment about old men being placid and boring .. some may be but do not label them all. My late partner was 79 and could run rings around much younger men (in EVERY way). My late father was still servicing his own vehicle and doing solo trips to the outback at 90.
Advice to new members: NEVER give/lend money to someone under any circumstances. Any person, male or female, worth their salt would never ask for it, especially if they truly cared for you.
Posted by: mushie6 at November 16, 2007 7:20 PM
I have to agree I found sexylittleshortie's behaviour quite bizarre for a 37yr old mother!!
Posted by: brilliantblue at November 16, 2007 7:11 PM
sexylittleshortie is a total fake just add her/him to the list
Posted by: thefotografer at November 16, 2007 7:05 PM
Back for more - no 37 year old mother of 3 teenagers is going to go ga ga over some young bloke whose main interest in life is watching crusty demons of dirt and then behave like a schoolgirl on the internet complaining she doesn't have stamps and whatever is she to do. Come on!
Public appology accepted - for what I don't know and for what purpose I don't know either.
Posted by: woodnwine at November 16, 2007 7:04 PM
sexylittleshorty - whether I believe you are a real person or not doesn't matter but when you go on with the rubbish that you were the other day about Jethro the crusty demon of dirt boy then you only show yourself as being a very foolish person and deserve the criticism that you were given by many people.
Posted by: woodnwine at November 16, 2007 6:59 PM
hey there woodnwine id like to say im sorry for going of the other day .. i am only new to the dating thingy lol and all the comments kinda got me going lol so sorry ..shorty!!!
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 16, 2007 3:59 AM
istj54 - yes, it's nice that we are agreeing again. If you recall I also initially responding politely and agreed with you on a few occasions, but then when accusations started flying and you started giving funny replies I joined the doubters. You must admit some of your comments were easy to misconstrue. As far as I recall I was never rude to you though because my current attitude is to laugh at all the nonsense and just make fun of it.
As far as OO goes, can someone let me in on why she seems to think I have done something wrong towards her? Please? I have no idea what I am supposed to have done but she keeps chasing me round in circles. OO - please tell me.
Posted by: woodnwine at November 15, 2007 7:20 PM
I agree, once again, with Woodnwine.....wow, whoda thought?
Definitely post a picture of yourself, without protection, and be realistic in your blogging, just as I was before being attacked as a newcomer just for having no pic.
I suggest you don't blog till said pic is posted because that way you won't be accused of being a bloke or boy, having MPD and a show off if you display any confidence...just the way it seems to be here in blogsville. We don't take kindly to newcomers...and guess what? I wasn't even a newcomer. Only two people made me feel welcome and supported and they were Weta and Ageinghippie, go figure!
Another thing, don't read these blogs as they are full of rubbish and venom being spewed forth by people who then rush off and hide behind their fellow back patters and pretend they never said a thing wrong. They all turn on each other in the end anyway...just wait and see. It happened last night when OO, a wonderful known blooger, became the latest casualty.
I've been here long enough to know all I have said is true, well to me anyway, could be wrong......
Wishingandhoping2
Posted by: istj54 at November 15, 2007 12:37 PM
Well said Woodnwine….absolutely agree!
I am fed up with trying to work out who is genuine….I would like to chat with real people!
Last night just went too far….the person behind “Wackojackaroot” is sick and needs to seek some professional help!
Posted by: brilliantblue at November 15, 2007 12:29 PM
and dont get caught up in all the mindless bickering that is perpetuated by cynical old and mentally ugly people.........................
Posted by: twoeyes at November 15, 2007 12:20 PM
Advice to new members - post a photo (without password protection), write a realistic profile, post proper blogs and be genuine. If you can't do all of the above then why are you on a dating site, go pester people on another site.
Posted by: woodnwine at November 15, 2007 12:06 PM
Hi Susan057
Posted by: miserableoldcow at November 13, 2007 12:18 PM
I wasn't commenting on the age difference, just saying that a 37 year old should know there's no such thing as a free lunch.
Good luck anyway
Posted by: brane at November 13, 2007 12:10 PM
Sexylittleshorty - I tried all that "let's help each other" stuff when I first started on the blogs and just got bashed for it. As I say though, some people on here are nice and you'll soon be able to work out who they are, although sadly a lot of the nicer ones don't bother blogging any more. Good luck with your man and just remember not all older guys go to bed at 7.00pm, some of us lead pretty f...ing active lives. Keep your knees in the wind.
Posted by: woodnwine at November 13, 2007 11:42 AM
hey woodnwine thats ok but seriously i have been put of this site i am discusted at the way everyone picks at each other instead of gettin together and helpin ohh how i love human behaviour
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 11:30 AM
bane who are you to pass judgement i am not a stupid women much to your discust ,my late partner was young he was a terrific man and satisfied my needs mentally sexually and spiritually!! not all young guys are the same ... i witnessed my man die on his motorcycle and he passed away in my arms .... so dont sit there and comment about somthing you asume to know lots about when do not!! i have spent some time with older men whom are very placid and boring infact ... im fairly energetic and i want my man to be able to have fun with me not go to bed at 7.00 pm sorry i say it as it is and i never judge a book by its cover
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 11:27 AM
Hi sexylittleshorty - hey, I wasn't being rude just saying that you seem to be putting yourself through a lot of unecessary trauma. Just buy stamps online using your credit card (it's perfectly safe) then you have 30 days to pay for them. Despite what the devicive istj65 says, I don't have money to throw around either and am not looking for anyone rich but if you really want to meet this guy, go for it. People on here can be nice so give them a go, just remember they aren't all real people.
Posted by: woodnwine at November 13, 2007 11:06 AM
I'm sorry but think for a sec.
Look this is a business. It cost money to run and they make them out of selling stamps, etc . If the 24 year you are chasing can't buy a stamp, that's sad. A 37 year old should know better, sorry but that's life. He's also not even in your state, so its not like all that urgent is it.
Posted by: brane at November 13, 2007 10:54 AM
Hi there. This is a first time for me on blog. I don't seem to get many kisses etc. I'm definately no Barbie doll but still have alot of qualities I thought would be admirable. I have been as honest as possible in my profile and tried to submit relaxed, happy photos that reflect myself. Can anyone pass on a bit of advice please?
Also while i'm having a bit of a whinge, why do men say they want pen-pals/friendships etc but never answer any kisses. I'd still like to meet men on a company basis but it seems that they are maybe only looking for soulmate type material or trophy companions.
Am I past it and no-one does that anymore? I'm a little confused as to what is expected now-a-days. Have I been out of the game for that long? Surely not!! HELP!
Posted by: pennygirls01 at November 13, 2007 10:31 AM
i wouldnt take your stamps i never asked for your charity !! thanks for your rude judgemental comments on a person you dont fkn know right he is just like everyone else on here ohh but i forgot there are a few of you so stuck up in your own arse u cant get back out ..
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 10:28 AM
yeah its ok i guess thats why he is still sitting there on his computer then if hes so fn good why dont u have a rich btch then u coulod leave us alone lol
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 10:22 AM
gees you guys r harsh hey
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 10:19 AM
woodnwine...I think that's a bit "let them eat cake":)
Posted by: funlovertoo at November 13, 2007 10:16 AM
Hmm, I'd give her a stamp just to silence the din, but after looking at his profile I think I understand this a bit more http://images.despair.com/products/demotivators/cluelessness.jpg
Posted by: brane at November 13, 2007 9:59 AM
Sexylittleshortie(hey I am too), Read last night blogs and you will know that Woodnwine only mixes with the rich and famous.
I, on the other hand, do understand the pay to pay struggle. He will still be there at the of the week so don't worry and if he's not, he wasn't the one. Don't keep sending kisses, it may creep him out.
Also, you may have noticed, they are not too friendly to newcomers here.
Kinda makes you wonder why you joined up, doesn't it?
Posted by: istj54 at November 13, 2007 9:58 AM
clearly i would have brought them if i had enough money which i dont untill the end of the week which is not your buisness but i feel i had to say as you making me out to be some kind of yeah i dunno i wont say it here i only wanted some help right sorry i asked
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 9:34 AM
Advice to new members,in fact ALL members.
Be honest,post photo.
Men, writing you want a lover among other things is a big turn off, that all comes with how you get on together, not as a condition.
Girls, NEVER give your hard earned money to him for any reason, after last nights Current Affair I am at a loss as to why you get caught, I have loved a man as well, he asked for money but never got it.
No matter how much you care for him NEVER NEVER give him money, it is a red flag to be afraid of.
So pleeeease girls stay vigilant.
Posted by: horsefun at November 13, 2007 8:45 AM
sexylittleshortie - why don't you just buy stamps and stop going through all this trauma? They cost about the same as 1/2 pack cigarrettes, one drink or enough fuel to drive your car about 200metres.
Posted by: woodnwine at November 13, 2007 8:32 AM
How heavy hangs the emptiness?????
No, daddy, that one wasn't for you.
Posted by: istj54 at November 13, 2007 7:08 AM
sorry;-(
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 7:08 AM
RSVP staff sign on at 0800 sweetie
all der poems probably have to end by then
Posted by: ageinghippie at November 13, 2007 7:03 AM
i think that we should be able to send atleast one email free or im ??? or maybe have a trial period of a week and if you like rsvp then you would have to become a paid member
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 6:58 AM
How heavy hangs the emptiness when your not here,Afteernoon sits so bleek and hollow.
You are not here;how heavy hangs the emptiness, oh god i miss your fullness!
How heavy hangs the emptiness.
The night closes in,brining back such pain and empty spaces,
I know now you are never coming back!the emptiness has taken over the delights of your fullness;
How heavy hangs the emptiness,
as morning draws closer a sudden burst if light,
yet another day with so much emptiness another day has begun ,
with out my asking,moving just beyond my taking;
you did not come, but i knew because of how heavy hangs the emptiness,
and how very much i miss your fullness
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 6:54 AM
sorry about the capps guys any more suggestions on my delema ive searched his name on myspace lol
i tryed adding to hotmail ectttt
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 6:42 AM
THANKS AGEINHIPPIE I HAVE SOME MORE I WRITE EM WHEN I GET ALL ROMANTIC AND STUFF LOL
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 6:39 AM
OMG LOL I HAVE SENT HIM 8 BACK AND SO FORTH LOL HE REPLIES WITH MORE KISSES ITS SO FRUSTRATING
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 6:36 AM
It's for you sugardaddy
Posted by: istj54 at November 13, 2007 6:28 AM
nice poem
Posted by: ageinghippie at November 13, 2007 6:16 AM
sexylittleshortie...send him another kiss. See what happens then.
Posted by: funlovertoo at November 13, 2007 6:10 AM
There is a danger and a temptation of you,
I am drawn to you;In mind,body,and soul.
There is a loneliness to your inner emptiness i feel your solitude!
That is because i am with you just not in a place,
but in your state of mind and heart.
We can; the two of us, can set ourselves free;
From the silence that once held us in loneliness.
There we will be free;
to be alone, as we once dreamed we would be,
so take my hand in yours lets go together,
Onward and outward into the future,
where we can share our heart solitude,
In a life where we belong together for now
and for infinity!
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 6:00 AM
UMMM HELLO AGAIN AM I ALLOWED TO SAY HIS NAME ON HERE LOL IM NOT TO SURE OF THE RULES AS YET .....
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 5:55 AM
Hi guys im new here i really like this site but i am not able to get stamps as yet recently i had a kiss sent to me from a guy i really want to know and hopefully meet ,just getting back into the dating thingy after losing the love of my life in a tragic accident! anyways this guy has no stamps either lol someone help me pleazzzzzzzzzze going crazy is littleshortie thanks alot
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 5:52 AM
What happens when someone sends you a kiss and you go to reply and they are gone? Bit of a mystery to me.
Well, anyways, thanks for the kiss thefotografer, but I can't reply except here to say thanks for the compliment.
And Brane, I would have to kill you later, but thanks for the kiss too.
And lastly, but certainly not leastly, Woodnwine, I'll kill you if you tell, and thankyou for the bella compliment.
Posted by: istj54 at November 12, 2007 10:04 PM
Be honest about who you are. Be honest about what it is you are looking for. If you post a photo, ensure it is current. Afterall we don't like surprise ie someone who don't look a bit like their photos on RSVP!! Be polite. Respect others' profile - read and understand what it is they are looking for. Always reply to all interests, even if you are not interested. Do not invite someone to send you an email if you are not in the least bit interested. Treat others how you want to be treated. Be prompt. Reply to all interests on a timely basis. Exchange initial emails, talk on the phone. Don't wait too long to meet face to face. Again, be honest, if you don't gel, it's okay to say no as long as you are gentle and kind about it. There is more to RSVP than finding a long and lasting relationship - there is such a thing as friendship and we should all consider this as a possibility and a plus..... one can never have too many friends who have a care for us.... there are some wonderful people out there!
Posted by: meiqui at November 11, 2007 9:47 PM
Hi
I'm a bit slow - is there a hidden meaning to listing the movie 'Shawshank Redemption'.
Thanks
Posted by: crystal58 at November 9, 2007 11:52 AM
AGGGH im being ignored. I didnt mention i sleep with my cats and I havent got any kisses. Why is yhis so. and I changed my photo for a better one......
Posted by: amozonite at November 8, 2007 3:29 AM
Ta graceandcharm at November 7, 2007 10:07 PM, but I didn't twist myself in knots.
I just responded out of kindness to another blogger.
Like you said, experience is the best teacher and I vaguely remember someone's profile saying something like, if mistakes are another word for experience, I've got it in quids. -Me too. :)
I also like the saying that foresight is much better with the benefit of hindsight.
Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 8, 2007 12:50 AM
Thanks so much to Woodnwine and Ornamentalonly for your words of encouragement.My advice comes from a fair bit of "learning from my mistakes".Nothing like experience as being the best teacher.It has made me finally reach a point however where I now know what I want in a partner.(I so love the freedom of my single life in the meantime).
To Ornamental only re your blog of Nov 7,I too have twisted myself in knots and very much regretted responding to men without a photo/password.I think a photo is such a basic requirement for communication on this medium,adding just another piece to the puzzle of the person you are communicating with.
Posted by: graceandcharm at November 7, 2007 10:07 PM
Advice to new members.
Be careful of revealing personal details.
The following was posted in The First Phone Call by: chad1958 at November 4, 2007 9:16 PM -
>"how miserable is a man who complains about the cost of a phone call to his women"
is possibly, making a little more sense to me now...
After this character from Queensland emailed me direct (without a prior VK and my acceptance) to request my pic, then sending further emails (where I did give him access to my silhouette gallery pic only) and he declaring:
>"ive just met a women with brains and beauty great pics i think im in love"
and after me being gently humorous with my circumspection ("do you always work so fast?") and finally mentioning I made an exception in his case by accepting his contact because he's a blogger as normally, I will not engage with a pictureless profile (he said he was unable to post a pic)
and I also mentioned...
>"But I must admit, that I am a tad wary of any contact I receive from Queensland, as I hope you will understand.
I also, when approached by someone without a pic and particularly when from another state, will not engage in chat. I made a concession with yourself as you have blogged.
>But, I'm still cautious.
>And trying hard to stop a twitch developing, when I receive contacts from Queensland males.
>Just can't help the Aussi humour breaking out... :)"
--------------------
He then replied by talking about his dog Rocky and swore in his email to me (fellow bloggers would know my views on that) talked about being drunk, passing out on his couch and finished by an incorrect attribution to me with his statement/question
>"why dont you like qld men?"
My reply simply was:
>"As I said before: I'm a tad wary of people with no photos and making contact from the other side of Australia."
chad1958's reply was even more simple and quite abrupt....
less than two hours later, his profile was deleted. (Former member appearing in my inbox.)
Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 7, 2007 12:07 PM
jenjennyjen at November 3, 2007 3:55 PM, I think you have a wonderful profile and can't see how it could be improved on.
But perhaps male bloggers could give their perspectives.
Anyway, welcome to the blogs jenjennyjen and I liked your post dated as above.
As with your post too graceandcharm, at October 31, 2007 10:52 PM, all the points were absolutely spot on.
Best wishes to you both and it will be good to see more of your blogs.
Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 6, 2007 11:44 PM
what is it with you ladies, it seems the shorter u r the taller a partner u want. we all know size does not matter, quality far outreaches quantity. while im having a bitch, whats happened 2 etiquette if some one sends u a kiss RSVP if its only 2 say p.o.q. good nite sleep tite
Posted by: krustycrab at November 5, 2007 12:05 AM
graceandcharm - good summation.
Posted by: woodnwine at November 4, 2007 11:39 PM
I am new to the 'blog'.
I agree with quite a few comments made by other members. It really is difficult knowing what to expect. In one's profile should we lay our hearts open? Give our faults? Or assume the I am absolutely perfect persona? I am 52, and as I have on my profile 'young at heart' - will people take that as I giggle at everything? Like eating fairy bread? Or shall they look at it, in the context it was written - I don't do needlework, wear elasticed waisted jeans or have a shopping trolley? The profile - such a difficult daunting piece of written work- should one say a little or a lot?
I for one would like to chat for a while and yes to see if that 'chemistry' is there, however I have found alot of men 'get tired' of chatting (even after one or two emails.
Replying to kisses either positive or negative is a must and in my books seperates the wheat from the chaff on the etiquette stakes.
I wish all of you good luck in finding what ever you are searching for. If any one has any tips on my written profile - I would be interested in hearing from you.
Thanks for reading.
Posted by: jenjennyjen at November 3, 2007 3:55 PM
To "Stormtrooper" October 29th, complained about people not replying to anemail.
My advice to him, is if you change that agressive ,mean photo of yourself, you may have more luck!
Surely you must have a nicer photo somewhere?????
Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at November 1, 2007 3:39 PM
Cheers from a virgin blogger.....(my first time to blog).I have learnt so much about the dating process since joining RSVP,and grown as a person as a result.My advice to new members would be:
1.Anyone not willing to respect you enough to show you a photo,email you,phone you and then arrange a meeting(if this is what you need) is not worth it.
2.Don't "chat" or email your life away to someone you may end up not getting along with at all once you meet him.
3.Go with your gut feeling(they say your stomach is your "second brain").When you meet someone the chemistry must be on both sides,no point in forcing it.If its not there,its not there.Move on.Count your blessings.Don't you want someone who is "into you"?
4.Beware of dating separated people,they need time to heal.
5.Go on a date expecting nothing more than you may have fun and learn a little about someone else's life and career.If you go out expecting to meet your soulmate you will be disappointed.
6.Give yourself a break from RSVP now and then,don't let it consume you.Refresh yourself.Join a club and get to know people slowly over time(the best way).
7.Always be true to yourself and don't lower your standards.
8.Never take a date home on the first date(I learnt the hard way).If someone seems too good to be true they probably are.
9.No matter how despondent you get realize that the safest place for your happiness is in your hands.
Cheers and good luck to all...
Posted by: graceandcharm at October 31, 2007 10:52 PM
Beware of the people who,
"doth protest too much",
or in other words, advise against things they themselves are guilty of.
Signed by,
A Dinky Di Blogger.
Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 31, 2007 9:38 PM
My advice to new members is toi be wary that there are some boring, self-absorbed, self-centred school yard bullies on the chat boards who think that they own the place!
My advice tothe new bloggers is don't let them scare you off the site, and just you carry on makingposting for the sane normal people to read
Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at October 31, 2007 4:47 PM
Stay positive! Don't let the bad experiences get you down. Not every kiss will get a reply, not every email will lead to love. And accept that some first meetings will be about much fun as tetanus. There are some great people out there, so don't let the ba...errr bad guys get you down.
Posted by: tangoorcash at October 29, 2007 11:44 PM
I agree with stormtrooper.
If I get a kiss reply asking for an email, I can only assume it's a very rude person who can't even reply.
This does seem to happen quite a bit so there there must be a few ladies who are just here for the ego of being contacted.
Posted by: notallmarriedorgay at October 29, 2007 8:53 PM
WOW� I thought this section was about what advice you would give to new RSVP members and those checking out the dating scene online and all I got from it was confusion about women being #2... I don�t really know what that means.. In my household it is usually means the toilet stinks!
I have only joined this thing about 3 weeks ago and actually really enjoy reading what people have to say about themselves and what they may want from a partner and I am always really flattered by getting sent a kiss�I have ventured out with one guy on two dates which I think made both of us refine our wants just a tad (to far away means you can�t just call in and have a cuppa) but he was a real gentleman.
I guess the only problem I have with the whole thing is when you get the reply about them buying stamps to contact you soon and then there is no contact! It is a little disappointing especially when you liked what you saw. But I really think this is a fun new way of dating from the safety of ur home.. Defiantly beats meeting men at a pub who can barley stand let alone speak!
Posted by: dottmyeye at October 29, 2007 5:08 PM
Greetings all,
My advice to new members is;
If someone actually spends time and money sending you a email at least have the common courtesy to reply. Even if that person isnt your "ideal" prospective partner, be honest and inform them of that fact with some manners.
There are alot of people in here with unrealistic expectations.
Fair is fair and play fair.
regards to all
Posted by: stormtrooper at October 29, 2007 4:46 PM
notgodsgift, #2 are the best sort, but the least common, the more valued for being rare. I think #2 are #1.
fotografer, why would you think the women any different to the men? Maybe you should come up with a list and I"ll check it for accuracy...play nice though...like i did
posted by: Waterbombe (was Mysticocean in a recent pastlife)
Posted by: waterbombe at October 29, 2007 4:33 PM
mysticalmansions
would you mind classifying the women for me and then I can match it against my long list failures
Posted by: thefotografer at October 29, 2007 3:56 PM
hey MysticOcean,
Dont know if I like the connotation of being a #2, but always hope that I am (in the sense that you use it here anyway, and not the other)!!!
Bobbie 1952,
You couldn't be more correct - its not quantity we want as honest guys and girls, its quality.
My personal view is that to find a partner, you really should know yourself first and, no matter how attractive the photo, dont go there if you think that you dont fit in some way - experience here - a lot to be said for "gut" feelings.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at October 29, 2007 3:16 PM
Be cautious giving out too much personal information straight away. I do sincerely believe that most of the people using this site are open and honest and genuinely good people but there are a few who spoil it for others. Just be aware, like anywhere in life keep your wits about you, after all you wouldn't divulge every little personal detail on first meeting in any other social setting so why here. Take care everyone and enjoy the experience
Posted by: iaminperth at October 28, 2007 8:23 PM
The Man in Black is Back.
Check:
Does Hollywood Influence Bad Behaviour?
-at October 24, 2007 10:02 AM.
Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 25, 2007 11:26 PM
Honesty, honesty, honesty. Mention up front that you're in love with your pet axolotl and it'll save a difficult scene later. And use recent photos. Of yourself :-)
Posted by: tangoorcash at October 25, 2007 12:39 AM
be yourself, enjoy and prepare exciting adventures with wonderful new people. Oh and don't let the tyre kickers get you down!
Posted by: whatcomesnext at October 24, 2007 6:05 PM
my advice would be to at first dont trust everything or anyone until they have proven otherwise.I have been honest on my profile but have met some guys who are totally not what i expected from their photos or profile.
But have also met some nice guys who are now friends.
I think the key to it all is to do with expectations
YOU CANT EXPECT TO HIT A HOME RUN EVERYTIME YOU GET UP TO BAT!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: sweetpisces21 at October 24, 2007 4:32 PM
The best advice I can give comes from my personal experience on RSVP. BE HONEST!! I posted my profile with brutal honesty not expecting many responses, if any at all and have met some beautiful (not just looks) women here
Posted by: bobbie1952 at October 21, 2007 9:06 AM
Hey folks Im a newbie here and love reading the blogs. i havent written much in my profile as im not too sure what to say and I dont talk about myself much unless ive had afew too many. So some feedback would be appreciated. chat later. amozonite
Posted by: amozonite at October 19, 2007 4:11 PM
Advice to new members - Women, watch out for the lecherous men on this site. Men, watch out for the nasty women on this site. Everyone else is safe.
Posted by: woodnwine at October 18, 2007 10:09 PM
RIP The Man in Black? - maybe there is no need for new members to be wary any longer. Goodbye Man in Black (all of you, now you will have to just enjoy your own company Earl).
Posted by: woodnwine at October 17, 2007 12:11 PM
Woops, can I say "added to what I said below..." I have also found this site to be a good place to make friends with whom there will never be any chance of forming a "relationship". If not for being part of RSVP I would never have made these new friends.
Posted by: woodnwine at October 17, 2007 12:06 PM
Hey mysticocean - not a bad summary at all. I would like to think I am more of a No 2 than a number 1. I think only in an extreme case would I act like a No 1 (hasn't happened yet). I have heard however that there are a lot of No 3s out there. You would think as you mature you would be looking for more than just sex but apparently not.
Posted by: woodnwine at October 17, 2007 12:02 PM
added to what I said below...I meant to say that a lot of people are somewhere in between types #1 and #2. Those are the two extremes in my experience, and I was surprised by both of them.
The players are in a club of their own, a guy seems to either be a player or not. I suspect they are the men who have put sex and love in completely separate boxes in their lives, and all a woman can ever expect from them is sex. She'll never get love from a player because that particular box of his is empty. He ain't got none to give, as the song goes. Watch out for them, because RSVP is the players' playground.
Posted by: mysticocean at October 16, 2007 8:34 AM
Ed, I had to log in 7 times to post this- why does this happen? Is it because a lot of people are tryng to post at once and the sytem fails?
Posted by: mysticocean at October 15, 2007 11:29 PM
For older people, here's what I learned from my experience. (As a woman). Don't assume this site works the same way as real life. This is virtual life. So when you find someone you like, tell them you are new to this and ask them what they usually do when they have found someone they like, so at least you know what they expect, and don't inadvertently stuff up. There are three basic types of operation here:
#1: Some people think even one email is a committment to a relationship and expect you not to kiss or email anyone else until you have met them, and they may even expect you to take your profile off after one date. They see you as unfaithful if you don't. Woe betide you if you don't behave like them - they can just drop you without warning for "infidelity". #1 don't really get on with #2, because....
#2: will email 4 or 5 people and go out with them all for weeks. They won't necessarily tell you they are doing this, and they are not sleeping with anyone, but they treat this site as a place to meet people and then they take their time getting to know you. They don't hit on you for sex and it's not because you're unattractive. It's because they are looking for a genuine relationship (I'm writing for older people). If you took your profile off after one date these people would be astounded. These people are a bit hard to distinguish from #3 at the start, because they are on the site a lot, emailing, so this leads us to #3...
#3 are the players and sleazes who are seeing heaps of people and trying to sleep with them all. At first they are hard to distinguish from #2, because they are on the site constantly, but as soon as the sexual innuendo starts (and it will start almost immediately) you know what you are dealing with.
Figure out what your style of operation is and talk about it openly as soon as you find someone you like, but be prepared to compromise. People have habits and expectations, and we are all very different.
Don't know if it works this way for younger people? Any comments?
Posted by: mysticocean at October 15, 2007 11:20 PM
Woops Mr ED - I just congratulated you on another blog that they seem to be working better so I was already signed in and blogging then I came to this blog and had to sign in 5 TIMES! When I was already signed in and blogging! What the?
Now I've forgotten what I was saying (must be over 45 dementure setting in - take not ladies I am OLD). Oh, that's right, I was going to warn new members not to take The Man in Black seriously, some members have and it isn't worth it.
Posted by: woodnwine at October 15, 2007 11:46 AM
New members - I suggest posting a photo and except in extreme circumstances I don't understand why everyone doesn't, but if you don't, make sure you write plenty of info into your profile. It really makes me wonder when I see a profile with no photo and almost nothing in the profile. What are we to judge attraction and compatability on? Intuition? Eenie, meenie, minie mo?
Posted by: woodnwine at October 11, 2007 11:16 AM
NursiePursie on October 10, 2007 2:56 PM
-you really are going to frighten off any genuine Newbies wanting information.
After all, not everyone is used to your particular style of satire, are they?
Or, your misogyny where you have to pin a certain male's approach on the opposite sex.
Now why don't you take your pills like a good old nursing home inmate and give some young ones a chance at retaining their solid food, while searching online.
Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 11, 2007 3:46 AM
The topic was "Advice to New Members", woodnwine :)
Happy Hunting everyone!!
Posted by: wraecca at October 10, 2007 2:10 PM
Come on ED - had to sign in 3 times again!!!
Anyway, just wondering what was the topic again? Very few blogs have anything to do with topics anymore.
Posted by: woodnwine at October 10, 2007 7:56 AM
Re posting by: wraecca at October 9, 2007 7:54 PM and her warning on multiple profiles.
Here's one example, demonstrated and duplicated many times over.
My, my, my....two different profiles in Biggest Turn Offs : Butts, Bad Breath and Smoker's Kisses, on one day from:
ramsteinafb at October 9, 2007 10:45 AM (an oblique reference to a former failed trip buddy?)
to,
nurseandpurse at October 9, 2007 7:07 PM.
-Maybe he was feeling a little worn out by all his personality changes, the poor old thing.
Or maybe, he's smoking something? (Former blog topic appeased!)
He does seem however, to have progressed somewhat and stopped waiting for the "crumbs" to come his way and now is declining into nursing home dribble.
BUT, still obviously flaunting exhibitionistic tendencies by giving the usual loaded hints as well as finishing the so obviously farcial nurseandpurse with,
Other interests:
"I have an extensive stamp collection (an alternative to his steam train dvd collection, one of his usual indicators of obsessiveness) and like to walk through rainforests cataloguing all the known varieties of toads and marsupial insects".
This character, besides making deliberate errors with facts, consistently shows no inhibitions proclaiming his delight in revealing private conversations.
So I'm sure he won't mind some more of his confabulations (made up imaginary experiences after loss of memory -in his case, a sign of ageing?) being outed, even though their details do echo with monotonous and hollow regularity:
nurseandpurse,
ramsteinafb,
tequieroputa,
Excaliburwhet,
comeplaytrains,
noiceguy1,
RodeoKill,
RodeoRoadKill,
Lee Van Cleef,
MidnightCowboy69,
EarlWyoming.
As well as, lest we forget, redhat posted on Dontdatehimgirl.com.
It appears there is more than a broken leg feeding this character's boredom and penchant for dissociative behaviour.
A pity he doesn't know when to stop and actually do something constructive with all this spare time he has in his declining years.
Hasn't he heard of what most, normal grandfathers do with their time?
Or even, that old fashioned word, "etiquette". (Another relevant topic.)
Dictionary definition:
Etiquette n. conventional rules of personal behaviour in polite society; ceremonial of court; unwritten code restricting professional persons in what concerns interests of their colleagues or dignity of their profession (esp. medical, "legal", etiquette).
Okay, breaches exhibited on all levels, particularly in real life as an ex-professional and supposed descendant of a pedigreed lineage.
-One would wonder with this supposed lineage, whether his biological father was never married to his mother, thereby proving this character "aint no gentleman" as well as the other, obvious trait he demonstrates so well.
Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 10, 2007 1:48 AM
hehe just think that overflowing of the kitchen sink could turn into a tidal wave when you make the pic's public :-)
Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 9, 2007 11:47 PM
Wah ha! Call a woman gorgeous in a public blog and YES! - she suddenly gets... well, not an inundation, more like the overflowing of the kitchen sink... but several kisses in succession.
Thanks SeraphSuzie, I owe you one. :D
Posted by: prettyasyou at October 9, 2007 11:32 PM
hi... amready2meetu from Perth. Why put your profile on RSVP and then choose not to receive kisses?? I would love to kiss you, but I cant!!
kisses from lipsticklips!
Posted by: lipsticklips at October 9, 2007 11:30 PM
Well I think when you do make your photos public you will be inundated ...and you should be now anyway... :-)
I wonder if I slipped in my email here anyone would notice? hehe JK Ed ;-)
Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 9, 2007 11:27 PM
*blush* THANK YOU!
Why hide my pix? Long story (see? we can chat here!) but it basically involves a small town where gossip is SEVERE and an ex who helps spread it. By and large I don't care what people say about me, but I still have a young kid who might one day hear this kind of tripe about his mum. When I move back to Melbs (hopefully within the next few months) I'll make the pix public. :)
Posted by: prettyasyou at October 9, 2007 11:22 PM
Oh my goodness prettyasyou.. your gorgeous... wow!! Don't hide your photos!! And thankyou :-) And see I always reply.. hehe :-P
Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 9, 2007 11:14 PM
Why, thank you! And stand by. :)
Posted by: prettyasyou at October 9, 2007 11:04 PM
Ahh no probs prettyasyou... And I guess a lot of men don't like voluptous women.. so hey thats cool.. I am not for everyone. but thankyou so much for your compliment.. I tried to peek at you but yours are hidden.. but I love your profile though!! very clever!! :-)
Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 9, 2007 10:58 PM
Hee hee. No woz, Seraphsuzie, it was a joke. Hence my wish for a rolling eyes smilie along with the other smilie face!
Although... I'm pretty sure that's what I discovered today when I trawled through the Top 100 for the second time since I've been here. I'm pretty sure the guy who didn't reply would be pretty busy! But I'm surprised you're not. I saw you there, btw, AND checked you out. You're beautiful in every way I can think of.
Posted by: prettyasyou at October 9, 2007 10:52 PM
hmmm prettyasyou .. probably not a good idea to make assumptions like that.. I am in the top 100.. and am definitely NOT deluged with kisses..I have sent probably three times as many kisses as I have received!!.. AND I reply to each and every kiss or email I receive.. :-)
Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 9, 2007 10:34 PM
hi out there.
how this for a new blog
first meetings.what not to do
things like moble phone,meeting friends at the same place as your first meeting.things like that.
i went for a coffee for a first meeting.lasted for just under a hour
there must have been at lease 12 calls and txt in that time.
i end up leaving half way thought one of the calls.
mind you they were friends calling.
and i never take my phone with me if i am going to meet some one it stays in the car.
any way what your pet peev.
thing that will kill a meet
.like nose picking,farting you know what i mean.it might be helpfull to some one some day.seeya
Posted by: friendsfirst64 at October 9, 2007 10:30 PM
thelynathdiary
"An intimate relationship to a man is sex." What - all men? Biological determinism? I must be a genetic aberration then, because I don't see sex as the only manifestation of intimacy - nor do many mature males I know. The pitfalls of making statements that inaccurately ascribe traits to gender have been well observed here and in myriad sociological literature. Beware the sweeping generalisation. Perhaps you meant to say "some men" rather than "a man"? Cheers.
Posted by: theundertoad at October 9, 2007 10:13 PM
Thelynathdiary - you have a knack of coming to the point that I fumble around. I am not always able to articulate the thought-kernels that bounce around in my head. You hit the nail on the head on that one. I, agree, I don't believe all men that mention various forms of (or their definition of) intimacy in their profiles mean to be sleazy (though some obviously do). But it can be interpreted that way by many women and invoke the 'eeww' reaction.
So fellas, give this some thought. If you allude to things sexual in your profile and you are just looking for a 'bonk' keep it the way it is. But if you are looking for a more meaningful relationship with a woman with standards, scrutinize your profile and do some editing!
And welcome back, Patience.
Posted by: ninaschen at October 9, 2007 10:02 PM
Wraecca, thank you....
as a new member i had no idea what to think reading many of the comments, so thank you for the perspective.
I've been on here for a few weeks now, i done more messaging than i have received messages. Its not easy but i've been keeping my mind off the immediate thought of "holy crap, i haven't heard back from them, they must hate me.." by remembering the rest of my life doesn't stop because i don't get one email.
I've got work to take my mind off things, now i have my band to help take my mind off work and any niggles that come with being single for as long as i have been (which would be.. well... lets say i've never Not been single...).
I hope im striking the right balance, i guess i'll see eventually..
Posted by: spunkydrummaboy at October 9, 2007 9:25 PM
LynathDiaries,
On behalf of the 130,000 of us sleazes, my sincere apologies for having been born in 1969. I could have ended my profile with "38" but then I would be a liar come next July.
Maybe check first, and if we're 37 or 38 then do us the courtesy of NOT assuming that we're boring and unfaithful?
Posted by: andyv69 at October 9, 2007 8:49 PM
Hang on hang on hang on... here's a good one:
If you don't receive a reply to your kiss, check to see whether the person in question is in the Top 100 in his/her age group. If they are, this means that are being deluged with contacts and can afford to be picky and not worry about answering pesky kisses from us mere mortals.
(Insert a rolling-eyes smilie here.)
:)
Posted by: prettyasyou at October 9, 2007 8:23 PM
Oh, and one other thing to watch out for - those 'profiles' on here that are actually one person creating new ones over and over again. In the last week or so, I've counted one blogger with at least 6 different names. Don't pay attention to anything they say.
Posted by: wraecca at October 9, 2007 7:54 PM
Newcomers to RSVP
Don't get sucked into all of the vitriol posted on the blogs.
Walk away with your soul intact.
Remember all of the people who have responded positively, and try to forget those who hang you out to dry.
Don't wear your heart on your sleeve; protect it, but also let it feel the glow that positive influences such as TheLynathDiary, woodnwine, Ninaschen, AuntyKaz, SeraphSuzie, funlovertoo, OrnamentalOnly, TrumansCat, BrushKestrel and others share with us.
Don't take the horror of the blogs to heart; you'll burn out, your soul will shrivel, and you'll be too afraid to trust anyone that your special someone will pass you by.
But lastly, don't do what I did. Don't start to care too much about the community in the land of blog, don't bear their crosses for them, don't let yourself become distressed over the hatred that some people continually spew forth.
May you find the strength to carry on within yourselves, and may the hope and faith that you carry in your hearts burn ever brightly, never diminishing, but lighting the way for love throughout the rest of your lives.
Wraecca.
Posted by: wraecca at October 9, 2007 3:58 PM
3rd sign in for the same post ED!!!
thelynathdiary - very good point about men coming out of marriages that offered little in the way of intimacy. Maybe they don't mean to appear sleazy but don't want a repeat (non) performance. Definitely food for thought and I must check my profile. Good feedback for new members and old members to be aware of.
Posted by: woodnwine at October 9, 2007 3:36 PM
Agree Ninaschen..an absolute turn off. It is so disappointing to see the sleaze factor appearing in profiles or even in the profile names. How many guys just happen upon the numbers 69 in their name
"a maz on 69" etc etc whatabout "Legover" yuk! It is a shame because often they are otherwise not bad profiles. Like Ninashcne I won't respond to them favourably because I am concerned that sex is the only thing they think about and so would be boring as a companion in the long run(and probably unreliable in the fidelity department once the initial novelty had worn off)
I am not sure ,but I think this is mainly a thing with men in the older age groups and my theory is that they have probably come out of marriages which were lacking in sexual intimacy by the end and are terrified it will happen to them again, so they feel the need to mention it in profiles. I have recently read a couple of profiles which demand the prospective partner likes 'regular intimacy' or "lots of loving" or " must enjoy frequent cuddles" which to me sounds more like a job interview and somehow creepy. I agree with Nina intimacy develops with the relationship and does not need to be spelt out.
I am also amazed at the number of men(and probably women) who confuse sexual intimacy with plain intimacy in the sense of sharing all aspects of life together.
An intimate relationship to a man is sex. An intimate relationship to a woman could be time shared doing the dishes or the garden or just watching that pesky Shawhank movie on the couch.
Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 9, 2007 12:01 AM
Hi WoodnWine – I have read quite a few men's profiles that use the words 'massage', 'intimate', 'stroking', etc. etc. Some use the words subtly, others don't. Either way, I move right on.
In my mind, alluding to such contact in a profile is sleazy. And sleaze is a huge turn-off. It makes me gag. I am by no means a prude and I can even be raunchy (yep, everyone, even geriatrics indulge in a bit of ‘raunch’, every now and then) with the right person. But I don't know these people. They are total strangers suggesting they give great massage or whatever. It reminds me of men who rub themselves against unsuspecting women on public transport.
I love massage and intimacy and stroking as much as the next person but that comes in time, as a relationship develops. It doesn't need to be spelt out in a profile.
So in answer to your question, from this female's perspective, I don't think I read between the lines too much. What do others think?
Posted by: ninaschen at October 8, 2007 11:28 PM
Well, Chad, you took notice, so that's one right there! Besides, I'm enough of a bigmouth to go on and on even when no one's listening. :)
Posted by: prettyasyou at October 8, 2007 7:57 PM
Hi all, I'm back from holidays, (yay!)
To funlovertoo and anaturallady regarding EarlofWyoming, I wrote on this blog regarding the information that he had written up on his profile, before it was hidden/removed. I realise he may/may not have resided in a prison/psychiatric hospital, and he may/may not have resided in Brisbane, but the place where he stated that he was residing is in Brisbane. But if he's back here on RSVP, as long as he isn't here to string people along, I don't care either way. It is his life, who am I to judge?
Into the issue at hand, to those new here on RSVP, don't be discouraged. Be honest, be genuine, and even if you don't find a partner, you will find out about the kind of person that you actually are. So don't be disheartened.
Well, I'm going to have to go, I have an extremely woozy cat attacking my leg (I have to drug her when we travel, poor thing), and yowling at me. She's tired and cranky, just like a little baby.
Take care all, and Happy Hunting everyone!!
Posted by: wraecca at October 8, 2007 7:00 PM
blueblueeyes.. I think you are being a little bit general in your 'facts' ie ... "facts are women are attracted to trim /healthy/fit /muscular/ men as Men are to slim Ladies. Men ARE more visual, (thats how we are built) where Ladies can be pursuaded by a number of ways.....humour (make love to my mind and my body is yours) power, money, position, influence, religion,apart from similar intersts, and more." I for one am not just attracted to the way a person looks... I really don't know where you got your facts from but from my point of view (and please notice I said MY) your wrong.. You really have a thing about people who aren't slim don't you?? I have a good male friend.. who is sexy as hell.. and he adores my curves... There are men out there who don't like skinny, slim women, there are women out there who like larger men, there are women who love skinny men, there are men who love skinny women. Remember its all in the chemistry ..and what might be attractive to one person, may not to another..regardless of what size they are!! :-)
Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 8, 2007 6:17 PM
this is the 4th attempt but to blueblueyes and prettyasyou great advice but dont hold your breath waiting for anyone to take notice
Posted by: chad1958 at October 8, 2007 5:42 PM
I actually like the hint of a goatee, that 4 -5 day growth as long as its nicely groomed. Also like bald heads, guys who are thinning on top look sooo much better with none. Only my opinion fellas and not set in stone..........k
Posted by: auntykaz at October 8, 2007 5:42 PM
Funny... I've been a member since February, and I still feel like a rookie at all this. So not sure what I'm doing handing out advice, but here goes anyway.
I think the best bit of advice is what was given to me back then by an older friend and mentor: "Go into this with no expectations." So far it's been the thing that's buoyed me above the disappointments and also helped me be open to all kinds of people.
"No expectations" does NOT mean "no hope". Of course there's hope - hope is a particularly beautiful part of our human emotions and I personally don't want to know anyone who is totally hope-less - but it should be tempered with a dose of reality. Internet dating is not the holy grail of relationships. It's merely a natural extension of our lives because the Internet is such a big and inescapable part of it now. When I look back the real live 3-D friends I've made in the past 10 years, I can see that a decent percentage of started off as Internet friends, so it made sense that I would use the Internet for dating as well.
"No expectations" does not mean expecting less from anyone, either. When I mentioned to my last RSVP relationship that I expected nothing, he said, "Well, that's not true. You're entitled to expect respect, for a start." I said, "I don't even count that. If you were in any way disrespectful, we wouldn't even be having this conversation."
The second thing I'd advise is 100% honesty. Hell of course we're all going to highlight our good points and avoid talking about our bad ones, that's part of the deal here. But there is NEVER a good excuse to lie. Beginning new relationships is difficult enough as it is without adding to it the stress of sustaining lies. It doesn't matter the lie: even the tiniest one throws your entire integrity into question so that people inevitably wonder, "If they lied about this, what else have they lied about?"
Posted by: prettyasyou at October 8, 2007 5:00 PM
re:nicepackage1 at October 4, 2007 9:59 PM
Yes, what an appropriate profile name.......your profile is short, but concise,....just like good pair of Ladies swimmers, short enough to create interest, but sufficient to cover all the vital areas, without hiding her points of interest completely .....grin lol....awww is this sexist??in case sorry..
How is my profile written? Could it cause offence?
other discussions
With reference to the discussion about men asking for sex on the first date...I think this is a dead giveaway, show him the door...there are women on this site who are after nothing more than casual sex with as many men as they can con.If a female wants sex on the first date, not too many men will complain, if they accepted the offer. This site has been a real education for someone not used to the subtleties and rules for combat in the single scene on the 'net.
Trying to sort out who is fairdinkum, and who is just a player, is a problem.I have had a lady in my shop, waiting for me to close so I could take her home, on our first meeting. I had no doubt what she had on her mind. I didn't go.You will notice I am fairly specific on my profile...After meeting some Ladies on this site, I refined the profile after each meeting..80% of the ladies I have contacted did not look like their photos, were not the age stated, were not ready to start dating, smoker,or were emotional cripples.I have had contact from ladies as young as 33 to 70..have returned the kiss to all.but only go out with ladies that fall in my set criterior.
I have noticed that many people are making decisions based on fear...fear that the same thing will happen again...fear that they lack confidence in their own judgement...fear that they may make the same mistake again....fear that he may be this or that....
or married.Make INFORMED
LOGICAL SAFE decisions, I always give my home and work numbers because I have nothing to hide.There are SOME questions that have to be answered, get his business card,if your are not satisied, vote with your feet.
Weight....facts are women are attracted to trim /healthy/fit /muscular/ men as Men are to slim Ladies.
Men ARE more visual, (thats how we are built) where Ladies can be pursuaded by a number of ways.....humour (make love to my mind and my body is yours) power, money, position, influence, religion,apart from similar intersts, and more.
If you are happy with your life as it is....don't change, anything. However,if you are not happy....it may pay to reconsider, or consider where you are currently going, or what you really want.Winging doesn't cut the mustard.
Ken
Posted by: blueblueyes at October 8, 2007 2:34 PM
Two bits of advice - for what it's worth ;-)
1) Join RSViP - the improved functionality makes it worth while - as in the ability to say "hi" instead of some asinine pre-fabricated templated comment; and
2) Don't try and update your profile on a Sunday and expect it to take effect any time soon there-after.
Regards - SK
Posted by: serendipitouskarma at October 8, 2007 11:24 AM
There seems to be a lot of talk about men suggesting sex on their profiles. I thought this was actually against RSVP policy and would not be posted. Are people just reading between the lines too much?
Posted by: woodnwine at October 8, 2007 10:10 AM
monkeysrule - fantastic profile mate, well written. I do think many women don't like beards (maybe a blog topic etitor?) but you will have to accept that it is a numbers game on here. The success rate on here is very low from my experience and people I know who are also on here. Many peopel expect too much and are quite superficial, men and women.
Posted by: woodnwine at October 8, 2007 10:09 AM
My advice to any new comer on this site or other dating sites. Sus ppl out before meeting them in person. Give out your email address but dont give our your home number or mobile. There are alot of dishonest ppl who hide behind fake profiles on here and other sites. If the ask you to lend them money, dont do it as you wont see your money returned. This has happened to someone I know on another dating site and he has never seen the money returned.
If you get a reply that says thanks but no thanks, means you arent what they are looking for, just delete it and move on. Some ppl are worth talking to on here and some arent.
Posted by: singlelady37 at October 7, 2007 10:15 AM
I am trying to work out why my honest and open comments never appear on the blogs. Am I too honest
[Ed: Sorry nowfeelinggood - the only other comment we have in the system from you is in the Got an Idea for a Blog? section, which will not be published, since it's a pool of ideas we use to decide what the next blog entry will be. If you had any others you submitted, I'm afraid they didn't make it into the pending list....]
Posted by: nowfeelinggood at October 6, 2007 8:41 PM
FROM "Somelifeinmeyet", I agree totally with what "nicepackage" said about what guys shouldn't write in their profiles.
They also sound desperate for sex......like that they have been going for prostitutes up until now, and suddenly can't AFFORD it anymore, and are thinking to themselves..."Quick, I'd better find a loose moralled woman quickly for casual sex..I think I'll join a dating site."
This is a bit INSULTING to the women on here, that sex mad guys, think that this is the place to find a woman, when so many women on here like me are genuine and serious about finding "the one".
From "Somelifeinmeyet"
Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at October 5, 2007 3:05 PM
To Troublesomebutcute.
I would really be interested to know what you consider "Too good to be true"
Posted by: smackthat1970 at October 5, 2007 2:23 PM
wraecca...have heard from another blogger that Earl is/was not in prison!
I guess you could say he's gone through a re-emergence and is in our midst on other blogs.
Posted by: funlovertoo at October 5, 2007 1:59 PM
Oh..and I forgot to mention that I have kissed boys who replied favourably and I have then sent them emails and never even received a reply...so it does work both ways - just treat it all as fun and a learning curve and dont take things too seriously...cheers RYRT
Posted by: ruvyourongtime at October 5, 2007 10:05 AM
Hi there Monkeysrule and all you Men & Boys out there!
I'm not one to normally participate in blogs but was so disappointed to hear so many woman were not replying to kisses - I am embarrased and just want to apologise on behalf of the Venus Society...its so wrong.
Monkeysrule - your profile reads just fine, I think its great to add extra info about yourself (I have but I have tried to keep it light-hearted!)
If a girl does not have the decency to reply then clearly she is not worth getting to know her and karma will come back and bite her on the tusch at some stage...take care RYRT
Posted by: ruvyourongtime at October 5, 2007 9:55 AM
i WOULD SUGGEST TO A FRIEND WHO'S ABOUT TO JOIN THAT THEY KEEP THEIR LITTLE HEART PROTECTED FROM THE RUDE & IGNORANT PEOPLE WHO EITHER DON'T RESPOND TO KISSES, OR WHO RESPOND WITH LIES. i'VE REALISED HOW DISRESPECTFUL THIS SOCIETY HAS BECOME FROM BEING ON RSVP - IT'S SCAREY!
Posted by: mrsbubbles1 at October 5, 2007 8:41 AM
Wonder how many times I'll have to log in before I can actually post!!!
For those who are "new" to this, be honest, upfront, and leave out the bare chested, motorbike and dead fish photos....girls are usually not at all attracted to those. Be careful too of the "gives good massages" tactic....we know what you really mean....leave it out, could be a pleasant surprise down the track!
Write as you'd speak, it's a dead give away when contact is made that you are not what you are perceived to be.
Golden rule - if it is too good to be true, it usually is :) Be prepared to get a lot of rejections before you find something worth pursuing....don't lose heart, it's all in good fun!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at October 5, 2007 8:13 AM
Hey Monkeysrule.
Great profile. I think you have done the right thing with your profile. You will find women respond to a sense of humour, intelligence and a personality. Women are generally very perceptive creatures and will be able to “read between the lines†of a profile of someone who is not genuine.
In contrast, men are more obsessed with how the women look. I think many of us guys are guilty of not reading a profile. Unfortunately, although it is, in my experience, the exception rather than the rule, even some women are also fairly superficial. Move on from them, you don’t need a “divaâ€. Trust me, I’ve been there, dated them and now ignore them!:)
Mate my suggestion is to stay away from the ones that are “too good to be trueâ€. If they were that good then why are they here seeking a partner!?
If you stick it out with the same profile some lucky gal will get you. Go hard and stay at it!
Cheers
Troublesomebutcute
Posted by: troublesomebutcute at October 5, 2007 3:06 AM
...ask for references!
Posted by: missterious75 at October 4, 2007 11:10 PM
I'd just like to suggest to guys - when writing your profile don't go on about "sex", "tactile", " good lover" etc - we can find that out later - complete turnoff. And photos sporting no shirt!
Posted by: nicepackage1 at October 4, 2007 9:59 PM
monkeysrule,
I checked out your profile. What you wrote looks okay, but personally I'd have to say that for me I prefered the photo without the beard (As I said - that's just me). Don't take the apparent rejection on this site too personally, it seems to be petty much the norm. So keep your chin up and keep trying.
Posted by: fefa63 at October 4, 2007 9:09 PM
I typed this but it disappeared, so I'm doing it again...apologies if it's here twice
Monkeysrule..you seem to be an attractive, intelligent, thoughtful, sincere guy, but I think you are right...you are going to have to lose the photos. And probably the beard. I reckon women don't like them, generally speaking. What do other women on here think? Here's my two cents worth...take new photos sans beard, delete the glamour shot, and the reference to liking monkeys (that's odd), and then watch the kisses roll in. You deserve someone as intelligent, warm and attractive as you are. Experiment with different photos and see if it increases your chances! Good luck!
Posted by: mysticocean at October 4, 2007 7:08 PM
somelifeinmeyet.. keep using my name on the blogs and I am going to have to start paying you for the publicity... hehe :-) have a lovely day btw!!
Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 4, 2007 2:22 PM
First time blogger so forgive me if what I say has been said elsewhere.
Somelifeinmeyet has pointed to the one thing that many forget.
Internet dating attracts people from all walks of life, from all social standings and therefore provides an opportunity for us all to connect with people we wouldn't ordinarily encounter in our day to day lives. Human behaviour is so very interesting.
I have replied to kisses only to discover the guy either removes his profile (or blocks mine) and never to be heard of again. Like many others I have sent kisss that have gone unanswered and best of all had emails send on the strength of a positive kiss response that have gone unanswered.
To all those men, all I have to say is that I thank you all because you are clearly not the man I want to invite into my life. Common decency is less common than we would all hope.
So to all new members I say:
Watch the Chasers, have a laugh and chill.
Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed.
Enjoy the journey and take from it what you will.
Respond to all contact with integrity and honestly.
Get out and live. Having a loving partner isn't the be all and end all, just one of lifes bonuses.
Phew, I feel better now :-)
TC
Posted by: teasea1 at October 4, 2007 12:32 PM
From "Somelifeinmeyet"..I love that tv show "Chasers War On Everything" on the ABC, and now there is a new contender, "Suprise Suprise Gotcha" on channel nine at 7.30pm!!
Plenty of pranks, to see how people react.
When I was doing Sociology at university, our tutorial did a great psycological prank for an assignment,(it was compulsory)....One in our class dressed up as a middle-aged overweight homeless woman (including dried food on her face , and holding bottle of alcahol)..stood outside Woolies at the Town Hall in Sydney, and over a period of hours we were to observe what happened as people walked by. (What they said, what they did, did they look at her or ignore her etc;)
After a long period of time, I spoke to her about how convincing she was , and to keep it up. A man who had compleytely fallen for the disguise, came up to me, to discourage me from talking to her, and said that she only "wanted money for the drink" and not to give it to her.
After her he left we laughed, with amazement at how convincing she was.
(Pity that it wasn't filmed as well, for future students)
For me these tv shows tap right into my interst in human behaviour, and they are both funny and sad at them same time.
(Likewise thes blogs tap into my intersts in psychology and sociology too, to see how people treat each other here, and even how I was attacked recently by "Seraphsuzie", on these very blogs!
Someone should write a thesis on this site!! LOL!!!
From "Somelifeinmeyet'
Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at October 4, 2007 10:47 AM
monkeysrule - agree, success rate on here is appalling but what are we to do, give up? Personally I don't understand it but there you go.
Posted by: woodnwine at October 3, 2007 9:49 PM
Some of these posts have been very reassuring - its not -just- me!
>RULE 2 - Be prepared to only have a 10% or less succsess rate.
I have about a 1% success rate with kiss replies, and would appreciate any advice anyone could give me on my profile (monkeysrule). I tried to make mine very heartfelt and open, but don't know if I'm scaring people away (one look at the photo and RUN!) or if I'm just being too honest, too quickly. Any suggestions anyone?
Posted by: monkeysrule at October 2, 2007 6:54 PM
From "Somelifeinmeyet" Great tv show on ABC "The Worst Jobs in History", today it was about tudour times..shows jobs that you would never would have thought of, and "well, someone had to do it" .The host tries them out, even dressing like the old days.
Some of the jobs were very dirty and smelly, and the poverty stricken were the unfortunate ones to get stuck with them.
It is sickening and yet funny at the same time. (The host is humorous).
It is a series, so if you missed it today,you may catch another one next week.
From "Somelifeinmeyet'
Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at October 2, 2007 4:03 PM
To wraecca:
Re: earlwyoming,
just because he stated in his profile he is from Brisbane doesn't necessarily mean he is from there...blimey he could be from Timbuktu or in the next street!!!!!!!!!
Since he has hidden his profile or rsvp his deleted it he may do a comeback under another.
Posted by: anaturallady at October 1, 2007 8:15 AM
Dear SomeLifeInMeYet
I have a "primrary" school mind
I also have some wonderful nude photos of someone skinnydipping- which probably goes to reinforce my "primrary" school mind.
Posted by: excaliburwhet at October 1, 2007 7:02 AM
I thought it was just me that had bad luck with RSVP! But I feel better after reading all the blogs - men do just judge on looks and never give women a chance, if they thought smarter they would be so much happier. Their loss. There are women out there who aren't Julia Roberts but are great and beautiful in their own way, as all my friends are. Good luck to us all.
Posted by: fluffybunny1972 at September 30, 2007 8:42 PM
From "Somelifeinmeyet"..My advice to new members would be to read the blogs FIRST before responding to anyone, or sending them any kisses (and being TOO friendly)as its there that you may really discover what they are REALLY like...ie: Pathological Liers, and those with primrary school minds!
There is one "kiss" that I would DEFINETLY like to TAKE BACK!! now I know what she is REALLY like!
(Perhaps they should have a "kiss" that says...."I have made an error of judgement...know I know you are mentally ill, I wish to take that "kiss" back!
(Someone has also indicated to me, that this woman is also "Known" on another web site..and has been a problem there also)
Be warned new members!
From Somelifeinmeyet"
Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at September 29, 2007 1:52 PM
My advice to newcomers is not to take online dating too seriously. Just have a little fun with it. It you meet someone nice then that is great but be prepared for a lot of fake or exaggerated profiles! If you want contact from other members then you need a good photograph! Profiles are important but people do judge a book by it's cover! Good luck with your search.
Posted by: appleofyoureye at September 29, 2007 1:12 PM
Is not noiceguy1 and comeplaytrains the same person??????????
I guess you can have multiple profiles and therefore multiple blog names after all if l am correct in my assumption.
You never know by the time this gets updated he may well have 3.........k
Posted by: auntykaz at September 26, 2007 9:57 PM
To Somelifeinmeyet, regarding your blog on September 22, 2007 11:05 PM.
EarlofWyoming resides in Australia, in fact, he is in Brisbane. When I looked up his profile after his *response* to a blog that I posted (both on September 18 2007), it in fact stated that he'd put in that he was in a State-run facility. I do not know whether he has hidden his profile, or if RSVP has had it removed for possibly that reason.
I looked up where he said he was residing on the internet, which is how I know about the place he claimed to be staying in.
I am not making judgments on why he is there, if in fact it is true. I was a little concerned as well, but as someone who has known people who have been in prison/psychiatric hospitals, I try not to judge, because you don't know what has happened or why they are there.
Back onto the topic, I have previously stated what I believe to be 'Deal Makers' and 'Deal Breakers' on profiles, and I stick by that. Honesty is extremely important, *especially* on an internet dating website such as RSVP. Without honesty, we are back to square one.
On a last note, I won't be blogging for the next week or so, as I am going on holidays. So, to all of you out in the land of blog, take care, have fun, and play nice!
Happy Hunting everyone!!
Posted by: wraecca at September 26, 2007 9:28 PM
Hi Chyna. I am a single mother also. I am a student, but do not need nor want another person's money. I don't want anyone in my kid's lives and I don't need anyone. I joined this site because I want to have someone in my life, certainly not because I need someone in my life. It is unfortunate, but even away from internet dating, there is an assumption that single mothers ought to be appriciative, perhaps even grateful for a partner. Saying that, I understand why some people are wary of single parents, that is why I have made my poistion clear on my profile. I am not convinced that if I had no children of my own I would want to be involved with someone who did. It is far more complicated than a regular relationship.
It seems inevitable that there will be a large proportion of single parents using sites such as these since the opportunities for meeting people in a traditional setting are minimised when you can't go out after dark quite as often, if at all.
Those are my thoughts on it anyway, they are a little broken, but I hope they made sense.
Posted by: infinititely at September 26, 2007 12:08 PM
To Parklife
what an interesting comment from you regarding non replies to emails. Because how long have I seen you on the Top100? Months!!! Which indicates you have been getting emails yourself over time...so why are you STILL on the Top100? Are your contacts just ALL below par? RSVP is a very strange world....
Posted by: bloggersgetreal at September 26, 2007 9:17 AM
Dear Mrs SomeLifeinYouYet
Would you be my mummie?
Posted by: comeplaytrains at September 26, 2007 8:05 AM
From "Somelifeinmeyet"..In reply to "Chyna1"..has it ever occurred to you, that guys that don't like children are just jealous of the attention that a woman gives her children???...(they just want ALL the attention on them????)
I know some childless guys like this, one was 50 years old.! And I said to him...."Most guys your age are practically grandfathers! And so all the women in your age group have children! It would be ridiciolous for you to date a younger women, just so she doesn't have children. Look at your own brothers and sisters, they all have children!".. And he replied...." I can't stand the way women are always talking to their children and thinking about their children, I want them to focus on ME!!"
He was very self-centred and had low moral standards, and was basically looking for two things that he couldn't do by himself A. have sex, and B . get someone to fuss over him!...(I'm sure if he could do it himself , he wouldn't have bothered trying to get a girlfriend.)
If you meet a man like this, run, and BE GLAD he's not interested in you..because he's one of the brigade of ""There's only a couple of things that a woman is good for" etc;...and so you are not really a feeling human being to him!
A person who is worth dating, would have a GOOD relationship with their OWN children, and so would be busy with his kids, and WOULDN't begrudge you the time that you spend with your own!
He would not be wanting you to fawn over him like a "mail order bride"!!! LOL!!( Boy , you should see how those mail order brides treat these leftover white men like babies...stroking their faces, calling them darling in public like they are their mothers not heir wives, putting their arms around them in a motherly way, not a wifely way..its sickening and yet hilarious at the same time!
(Maybe Is hould have told this guy to get one of those women, who would treat him like an only child! LOL! signed "Somelifeinmeyet"
Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at September 26, 2007 1:17 AM
From "Somelifeinmeyet"..G! od to see new stufff on the boards to read! (They must have the "Slaves rowing the ship faster!".....LOL!!)
Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at September 26, 2007 1:00 AM
spell check on emails
Posted by: nowhiteflag at September 24, 2007 8:16 PM
Me Mum says:
"Trains" (that's what she calls me)
"These women on rsvp are no good. It will be years before you even see one in the flesh, if at all.
Your father, before he died, god bless his soul, said the only way to break your drought (I'm still a virgin) is to pay for one."
Someone said there was a Lady Marmalde on this site.
But I can't find here. Does anyone know where she is
Posted by: comeplaytrains at September 24, 2007 5:16 PM
Dear Magpie21
Fellows do have to juggle multiple contacts.
Especially us goodlooking ones.
I have a real cat fight on my hands at the moment with about a dozen women all clamouring for my body.
I have had to ask a few to take a back seat for a while whilst I sort things out
Posted by: noiceguy1 at September 23, 2007 9:12 PM
From "Somelifeinmeyet".. All the boards are not being edited by the management! That's why they are dead! People are typing their little hearts out, but no one is putting them on the blogs!
What is going on up there?????
This is very discouraging. Maybe they are spending their resources elsewhere??? Albiet temporary i hope! The blogs are old at the moment, I've read them all before. I'd like something new to read, please management!
from "Somelifeinmeyet"
Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at September 23, 2007 8:13 PM
Here's to all the love that could have been
To all the faces that will never be seen
Here's to all the love that could have been,
To all the tears that will be swept clean
Here's to all the love that could have been
To all the hearts wounded between
Here's to all the love...where does it go?
Down with the sun?
Underneath the snow?
Up there with the stars?
That's the thing about love that we'll never know.
Posted by: ilovecows at September 23, 2007 7:01 PM
To new members be very much aware that quite sometimes members have 3 or more profiles on here!!! slightly different photo's usually the same blurb!!!
Also check the photo's and the supposed age!!! don't quite match. For goodness sake if you are going to put your age a lot less that what you are make sure the photo is the same it doesn't take much up stairs to figure out something isn't quite right and this person has an ego problem.
Posted by: satinandlace at September 23, 2007 5:08 PM
Magpie21 wrote:
> If I begin correspondence with someone that is a "potential" I have no interest in entering a dialogue with anyone else until the current situation has been explored.
> Do fellas do this or are you juggling multiple contacts?
I suppose this depends when you consider a contact becomes a 'potential'. Is it the first vK? the first email? The first email *reply*? The first phone call? Is it when the first 'coffee' meet is arranged? Or is it when this has happened, and you decide to go for a proper date?
It probably also depends what you mean by 'juggling multiple contacts' too.
If I'm corresponding with someone by email (with a view to a potential meeting, rather than as a penpal), then I stop looking at profiles. I'm not sure what I'd do if I got a kiss within this time - it hasn't happened yet, so I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
As for hiding my profile, I'd expect to do that once a successful coffee meet had happened. I live in hope that one day I'll get that far - I haven't got as far as phonecalls yet, so it's still a bit mythical, but nevertheless, I live in hope :-).
Posted by: brushkestrel at September 23, 2007 4:41 PM
the problem is there are so many time wasters here. From my experiences emails mean very little. You've got to get to the point of meeting the person face to face before you have any sort of realistic indication of the future potential you and that person have together.
If you stop searching simply because you are in contact via email with someone who seems to have some potential only then to be disappointed a week or so later when without warning that person disappears into the RSVP black hole without warning (as so many do) then you'll be kicking yourself particularly if you've declined kisses from other potential members in the process.
I always use the first face-to-face meeting as a guide to how serious a person is. Usually the tyre kickers will head for the hills as soon as you suggest the idea. But for those who accept the invitation and the meeting goes well, that is the point at which then I put my searches on hold (or if things go really well, my profile on hold) as generally speaking that is the first positive sign that they are genuinely interested.
Until such time as you meet in person, I've discovered it's best not putting all your eggs in one basket.
Posted by: turnofthetide at September 23, 2007 10:02 AM
I know there are heaps of single mum's out there, but why is it that we are all "pingeoned holed"..I know it can be very intimidating to guys that we have kids, but not all of us are after your money..a babysitter..or whatever you lot are so bloody scared of we are after(I do understand that there are girls out there just for those things)..Ever thought that some of us might just like someone in our lives and nothing more? What do others think?...
Posted by: chyna1 at September 23, 2007 1:26 AM
From "Somelifeinmeyet" I looked up "EarlofWyoming"s profile but couldn't find it. What does the name mean? Is he really overseas in America? When he mentioned something about the guy "In the next cell", does this mean he is blogging from jail or a psychiatric facility?
Are people in jails allowed onto the R.S.V.P. 's site? Or psychiatric facilities or anything similar like "minimum security farm facilities"?
Are the management of R.S.V.P. protecting us, or as usual, being slack in the care of us (especially us women?????)
I don't know if" Earl of Wyoming" is in prison...I am just asking to find out.
Signed "Somelifeinmeyet"
Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at September 22, 2007 11:05 PM
NEWBIES,
RULE 1
65% of people on this site are full of BS, so don't take it to seriously.
RULE 2
Be prepared to only have a 10% or less succsess rate.
RULE 3
Never believe everything that someone has written.
RULE 4
Kiss responses are limited to what people would say, the only response your looking for is,'looks forward to your email'. The rest are another way of saying-'not interrested'.
RULE 5
Always reply to your kisses and emails, this is good karma, and shows you have manners and respect.
Posted by: eureka1854 at September 22, 2007 3:16 PM
Regarding people who say they're interested and ask for an email and then you get no reply...
It has happened to me a couple of times in the past where I have emailed someone and then get ignored. The person even blocked me! This was about 2 years ago and then only last month she kisses me and says she's interested!! What a farce!!!
I think RSVP need to re-do their emailing/stamp/cost system to counter for these instances when this happens. It is very frustrating. What's worse when you read the person's profile, it says they're sincere and genuine blah blah blah
One wonders why they're single hey?
Posted by: parklife at September 22, 2007 1:54 PM
Help!
Guys - a response would really be appreciated...
I'm pretty new to RSVP and I don't really know the rules of internet dating. If I begin correspondence with someone that is a "potential" I have no interest in entering a dialogue with anyone else until the current situation has been explored. Do fellas do this or are you juggling multiple contacts? Maybe I'm a little old fashioned? What is standard?
Girls? What about you?
Posted by: magpie21 at September 22, 2007 12:50 AM
right on cd1983.
why ask for a email when they know they will never reply to them.
it has turn out to be a joke again like it was 2 years ago.
better off going to the pub than buying stamps
at lease you have something to show for 30 bucks like a hang over.
no it not that bad
but i wont be back for a 3th round
all i can say is that if you dont want a email dont ask for one
as you are wasting people time and money.
thank you all for your time.
Posted by: kimba14 at September 20, 2007 10:32 PM
Trumans KittyKat...yeah Im back..profile is back up but more to make friends then anything..
Wallabyblue...i wouldnt go there. at all. end of story. if a person doesnt meet your 'ideal' thats not her problem, so why should she change? why dont you change your ideals...you might be pleasantly suprised!! I recently dated a guy with tattoos...i personally cant stand tattoos, on me or anyone else BUT decided to give him a chance.
Ornamentalonly...you have so hit the nail on the head; gentle loving supportive behaviour wins everytime. My ex hubby was the same, made me feel beautiful even on bad hair days....our partners should bring out the best in us, not make us feel our worst.
Posted by: beachmouse at September 20, 2007 9:16 AM
this is 4 new and old members if u say u r interested and then lose interest let that person know one way or another everybody has been hurt somewhere along the line dont need 2 cop it on here
Posted by: newton21 at September 19, 2007 8:04 PM
My advice to new member of RSVP: If you really want to find your life partner, someone even approaching that, or even a whole lot of decent friends, be prepared to have: ENDLESS time, ENDLESS patience and ENDLESS dollars. Considering all the potential non-matches as well as those who choose not to answer you, purchasing 6 contact stamps won't get you very far. And neither will 2 or 3 months on the site. Human beings are very fickle creatures, and the risks of having things go belly-up or being totally ignored are quite high, every time.
Be prepared for a lot of no-replies, and the number of young single mothers on all internet dating sites are proportionally quite high... So be prepared for that. And don't trust everyone to be totally honest either.
Posted by: cd1983 at September 19, 2007 12:32 PM
wallabyblue at September 18, 2007 2:09 PM, re the BMI:
Not being picky (as you also say you are not in your profile) and not being sensitive on BMI as mine is good (but I personally, don't give a rats about it -health is far more important,) however, besides you wanting to tell a 65 year old woman to lower her BMI -at 67years of age you also want a "honey" to relocate to the bush with you, pay half your living expenses and also, a woman who can cook, sew and be a good lover.
Very generously, you also say you will "allow you your (her) independence when you (she) want(s) it".
Maybe ... it would be a good idea to progress slowly with your requirements?
Some of the reasons I married my very much older husband many years ago was the fact he had the maturity to accept me as I was while encouraging my good points. He overlooked my deficiencies and exercised positive and subtle guidance where it was needed to allow me to improve at my own pace.
His one requisite regarding my weight? -That I never became too thin/unhealthy. He made me feel beautiful no matter what weight (yes, during pregnancies also) and lovingly complimented me on the way I dressed for whatever size I happened to be. This encouragement worked, as I wanted to be the best I could for the one I loved.
Simple psychology -most females respond far better to gentle, loving and supportive behaviour.
Posted by: ornamentalonly at September 19, 2007 1:41 AM
wraecca l think the mantle is now yours seeing as a blogger on another topic has you firmly in her sights.......happy day....k
Posted by: auntykaz at September 18, 2007 5:36 PM
EarlofWyoming
Thank you for your *kind* offer.
A person can offer their empathy to another person, known or unknown, without the need to be treated with contempt.
You post about a person who you say is having a nervous breakdown. I offered sincere compassion to a human soul who is suffering. Nervous breakdowns are not fun to endure or watch, I know this from experience. So if you are going to throw this back in my face, I pity you. I empathise with Mick, but pity you.
As for me visiting him, first off, I don't live in Brisbane. Secondly, I don't know him, so don't think I'd be allowed to. And lastly, if you are going to castigate people on here for being genuine, then don't post blogs saying that we aren't out here.
Wow, two aggressive blogs aimed at me in one day; I wonder, am I about to become the *new* woodnwine? I hope not, lol.
Happy Hunting everyone!!
Posted by: wraecca at September 18, 2007 5:27 PM
Beachmouse! Welcome back sister! Yay! We are having a party again...
Posted by: trumanscat at September 18, 2007 5:25 PM
Fotografer, your blog sept 18 (actualy written about 10 mins ago) got me thinking. I agree with you 100%, RSVP is such a buffet, there is always someone new and more attractive popping up that the person you have just started seeing cant help but keep coming back for a peek.
Yes, the internet is an integral part of our lives, however as far as online dating goes there are no boundaries, there are no rules, there is nothing to stop people playing the field, keeping their options open, looking for the "greener grass".
My profile is hidden and probably will remain so,for the above reasons. If my soulmate is out there he will find me, and he will court me, and i wont have to wonder who else he is emailing/MSNing. Back to the basics for this little Beachmouse...but i do enjoy the blogs!
Posted by: beachmouse at September 18, 2007 5:13 PM
wallabyblue...either meet her knowing that she's overweight and be polite and say nothing or don't meet and send her an email saying why. (That would offend but at least she'd know why). Or am I wrong here?
If you do meet and really like each other, and things progress then maybe you could encourage her.
By the way, I looked at your profile and I suspect you're rushing the prospect of romance and may get into trouble..
If you're not actually divorced yet then you need to meet someone you're happy with and vice versa and spend some time together before offering the carrot of co-designing the new rural retreat.
I suspect your current profile offer may attract golddiggers.
Posted by: funlovertoo at September 18, 2007 5:06 PM
I am currently residing in Malaysia, although I will probably be relocating to South Australia at some point in the near future. Nonetheless, I find that a lot of people are not all that keen on corresponding if there isn't the possibility of meeting up in person soon after the initial contact. Any advise??
Posted by: asianmystique at September 18, 2007 4:57 PM
My advice would be this.
Do not get on the Merry Go Round!
it is habit forming,and the longer you stay on here looking for the perfect man/woman the harder the fall.
RSVP creates a culture of the other man 's grass is always greener philosphy.
Unfortunately it is not until you jump onto the other side of the fence that you find that the lawn has more weeds then the one you left.
So My advice to neewbie's is to not spend too much time hunting and looking for the ultimate, you won't find it,and then when you sit back and reflect at the age of 70 and still single what went wrong you will remember some guy telling you to make a choice and be satisfied.
Posted by: thefotografer at September 18, 2007 4:56 PM
wallabyblue.
There are few women who would accept such a question...
The expression "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread" comes to mind.
Posted by: trumanscat at September 18, 2007 3:40 PM
How to mention reducing BMI? WallabyBlue, are you clutching at straws? You are a fit man and yet you've hooked up with someone largish. Why could you possibly think you could ask her to reduce her weight? This site is full of people who want to match up with other people and there's always just one thing stopping them. For you it's her size. No-one over 40 (probably 30) is going to change all that much. Accept her as she is or end it so you don't break her heart.
BTW If you were already with your one-and-only and you loved her devotedly and wanted to spend the rest of your life with her, and she'd put on weight over the years, would you be so worried?
Posted by: heartsalive at September 18, 2007 3:06 PM
Overweight women :
To a 65yo lady, apparently nice in every other respect but whom you've not yet met, what do you say - in the form of a question that won't upset her possible sensitivity - what she intends to do about reducing her BMI (Body Mass Index) of 35 down to the respectable range of 25 to 30?
Posted by: wallabyblue at September 18, 2007 2:09 PM
As a first time blogger.....
Advice for new members....
Keep an open mind and an open heart when looking for someone. The worst thing to do would be to pigeon hole someone, who may be perfect for you.
Read the profiles carefully, the smallest detail when answered in an opening email, can be a great indication that your profile has been read.
Most of all be honest not only with others but yourself.
I tend to agree with earlofwyoming it feels sometimes that nice guys do finish last.
Posted by: bern78 at September 18, 2007 9:14 AM
Wraecca
You feel sorry for mickie do you.
Then I will introduce you personally.
Visiting hours here are 3-4pm.
His inmate number is [snip]
Mind you he might have been a bit taken with inmate [snip], but then again so are a lot of fellas.
Posted by: earlofwyoming at September 18, 2007 5:16 AM
To amandad31 The reason you get kisses from men who dont match your IP criteria is - women on this site often dont know what they want & their IP criteria isnt what they actually insist on, its just some vague idea of what they thing they want. RSVP men know that. True. For example, when i get kisses, i do not match their IP criteria! The IP criteria is not set hard and fast for a lot of women. Dumb in my opinion. Should state your minimum must haves to avoid confusion.
Posted by: bloggersgetreal at September 17, 2007 10:55 PM
EarlofWyoming, not every woman out here is unappreciative of guys who are decent, hardworking, honest, compassionate, loving and genuine. I feel for the gentleman you posted that blog for, and can only wish him strength, support and courage to face what is ahead of him.
Not everyone cares, but everyone should.
My love, empathy and compassion,
Wraecca
Posted by: wraecca at September 17, 2007 8:53 PM
We can join RSVP for a bit if fun and tell everyone we meet that we aren't taking it seriously.... How many men have I met who say that?! But most people are actually deadly serious - lonely, wanting to connect closely with people, wanting to show themselves in a favourable light. ie human
So honour this in yourself and in the profiles you read.
1) DON'T LIE!!! If you are 38 years old, or 48 or 58 or 68, stand up and be counted and tell the truth.
How many men have I met who own up to a few extra years after we meet - as if I wouldn't know otherwise. So instead of meeting an honest, confident man I found myself in front of a weedy liar. Once I kissed a gorgeous man who didn't respond. After a while I kissed him again, and he emailed that he liked my profile but was actually outside my age range... He'd put his age down to get caught in more searches. Hmmm at least he was honest at that point and we're still friends. But don't think you can spring it on someone after a few conversations and expect a trusting relationship to come from it.
2) WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT YOU? There are so many "genuine, dine in or out, dvd on the lounge, weekends away, GSOH, I'll know her when I see her" profiles that the eye just slides over the top.
If you are looking for someone who is totally knock-you-off-your-tree different, you will need to communicate how special you are so we can make the connection.
3) Manners - If you send the first kiss, you send the first email and you make the first move to meet. Generally speaking. If I send the first kiss, I do it all. But, I don't give out my phone number until I have tested yours. So you have to give out your phone number first, and I have to phone it, because I'm a woman and I want to feel safe. Yes I know this is so-last-century but so am I.
4) Rules are meant to be broken, but only within the bounds of manners. Don't show up at her house unannounced, even if you are carrying flowers. Don't push too hard or hang back.
5) "I'LL CALL YOU"
If you use these three words, be grown up and recognise that you mean "bye-bye". So be prepared for a negative response.
Men who actually intend to dial your number say something else.... "I'll phone you on Tuesday" or whatever.
Be nice!
Posted by: heartsalive at September 17, 2007 6:38 PM
pipsta at September 11, 2007 10:09 PM -you really are a star. :)
Although, I think I got lost at your A B C substitute
(I'm sometimes in a dense fog of fatigue/pain/crankiness) but really love the word you coined, "sexlexic"!!!
What a pity I can't use this sexlexic excuse for a son, who never lifts a finger to help in or out of the house...
Anyway, back to weeding that durn garden now it's stopped raining again and no more breaks/excuses to put off the painful work.
Next job for me after weeding the waist high grass in the back garden (a positive description!) is opening the box of a new electric lawn mower I bought, assembling it and then mowing the lawn -sans the *&%$#@# lazy (oops, I meant, very efficient -as he gets me to do it!) 6'4" ball of energy I gave birth to all those years ago.
Advice for new members? Forgive/ignore my little vent as I adore the true gentlemen in life -doesn't matter about origins/job status, just their behaviour.
Anyway, be careful with your personal details, trust your instincts and read the informative blogs relative to your situation. There are some people who seriously give good advice from their experiences on RSVP.
Posted by: ornamentalonly at September 17, 2007 4:59 PM
Nice guys STILL finish last
To every guy that's said, "Sex CAN wait"
To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful."
To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town
(or across the stateline) to see her.
To every guy that gives her flowers and a card when she is sick or down.
To every guy who has given her flowers just because.
To every guy that said he would die for her.
To every guy that really would.
To every guy that did what she wanted to do.
To every guy that cried in front of her.
To every guy that she cried in front of.
To every guy that holds hands with her.
To every guy that kisses her with meaning.
To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.
To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.
To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.
To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.
To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to see her for ten minutes
To every guy that would give his seat up.
To every guy that just wants to cuddle.
To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.
To every guy who told his secrets to her.
To every guy that tried to show how much he cared
through every word and every breath.
To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.
To every guy that believed in her dreams.
To every guy that would have done anything
so she could achieve them.
To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.
To every guy that walked her to her car and opened the door.
To every guy that gave his heart.
To every guy who prays that she is happy even if you are not with her.
This one bulletin is for you
Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore
And because of this, there are not many left out there
That by the way is from Mick in the cell next door to mine.
He's having a nervous breakdown so he can't post these sort of things himself so I agreed to do so.
Posted by: earlofwyoming at September 17, 2007 5:13 AM
I only joined this evening and had a read though this.
It's rather useful for those who have just joined, though I already had a fair idea what I was walking into, so thanks.
Posted by: infinititely at September 16, 2007 9:43 PM
G'day all...
I'm very new to the RSVP universe, so I've found much valuable advice on this 'blog - thank you to all those who've taken the time to share their experiences. I was wondering whether anyone here could help me with a frustrating situation that has arisen in the last couple of days. Warning: it does start off sounding like some of the scenarios in this 'blog, but there is a twist.
Originally, I intended to remain as a wallflower with a hidden profile for a while, but I was flushed out by someone whose profile I considered exceptional. She indicated that she had not had much luck in her two months on the site as was considering pulling her profile. She had put up photos (I think as a last resort) and, as a very attractive woman, was probably dealing with a huge number of responses as a result.
Not wanting to miss out, I initiated contact (via RSVP e-mail) and her response was immediate, personal and very positive. I checked her profile again later and she had removed all detail and put words to the effect that "It's been an interesting experience, thanks to all those who responded. I have some interesting contacts and I will be following those up shortly". Now the twist: I received another e-mail from her sent early in the morning of 15/7 which I eagerly opened only to read: "ERROR. The sender of this message is no longer a member of the RSVP site. This message can not be viewed." Aaargh! Whether it was her off-site contact details or a "Dear John" letter, I just can't view it! What a cliffhanger!
I feel I need to proceed on the assumption that she did not realise that un-read e-mails cannot be viewed after the sender has terminated his/her membership. I intend altering my profile (as soon as it's unfrozen after my last minor edit) to specifically ask her to re-establish contact via the site. She knows my real first name and some generic details about me - enough to let me know if she creates a new profile. I have also contacted RSVP support to ask them whether I can view the e-mail.
As a matter of principle, I do not feel comfortable initiating contact with any others until this situation plays out. As far as one can judge a person through their prose, my (usually accurate) gut instincts are telling me to wait for her to re-establish contact. I am not naive and I am quite prepared to move on, but I reckon this one was worth waiting for. Can anyone here help me with my predicament? Thanks in anticipation.
Posted by: seizethefish at September 16, 2007 7:56 PM
Wraecca - you are so nice words fail me. Even though I officially left the blogs yesterday I had to comment after seeing your post. Take care people and most importantly take care of each other.
Cynicalandanonymous - I am sending good thoughts your way and hope that you receive them in the manner they were intended. Peace and love to everyone. A disagreement should be just that. Hate is a whole other kettle of fish.
Posted by: woodnwine at September 15, 2007 9:28 PM
For all of the new people here on RSVP, the only advice I can give you is....be yourself. Be honest in your profile; if you are interested in things that others may find weird or intriguing, put it in. Don't try and modify your profile to suit someone else's preferences, you aren't being honest otherwise. And sometimes, having a bizarre hobby (I paint miniatures and 'knit' chain mail) can have a positive outcome; people are curious and ask what it is you do, or you *may* just find someone who also participates in that specific hobby.
Another thing you should do is always try and retain your dignity. If you are being verbally attacked here on the blogs, rise above it and keep your dignity. Don't start hurling abuse back, it will make you feel bad about yourself. Try and remain positive, because believe me, THAT is a very attractive attitude, and people will (usually) respond accordingly. Also try and give encouragement to those who you may think need it. I have found a new friend here, because I wanted to encourage them not to give up. So there is always the possibility that your words/actions may influence or inspire others here on RSVP.
Happy Hunting everyone!
Posted by: wraecca at September 15, 2007 8:40 PM
Be nice to each other and treat each other with respect. Don't treat this like the game that many people do and you might have more success. Understand most people on here are only amateurs when it comes to dating so they will make mistakes. Remember kindness doesn't cost anything so just ignore rude bloggers and instead think nice thoughts. Goodbye
Posted by: woodnwine at September 14, 2007 11:43 AM
As a member of 3 weeks (I think, I haven't really been counting, it could be 4) my advice to newbies, read these here blogs. They are insightful. Don't think that this is the only place you will find someone, unless all your waking hours are online at home. Try and enjoy yourself, yes we are walking around with hearts on our sleeves, but everyone on here is different, and those who aren't genuine will eventually be exposed, so become part of the community and I say again, enjoy.
Oh yeah, respond to kisses and emails, it's free. (That's from the perspective of a male, females might see differently, that would explain my current reply ratio.)
Take Care
Posted by: ThoughtProvoking at September 14, 2007 12:12 AM
I have been on and off this site for about a year, on for about 3 months in total. In that time I have received over 350 kisses but have only gone out with less than 20 guys. And feel free to say I�m obviously too picky, I don�t care. Yep, I readily admit I�m picky and maybe I have missed some great guys but such is life. In that time I�ve only had one not so good experience. I check the profiles carefully before I respond, stamps cost money and I don�t want people wasting their hard earned dollars on me if I truly don�t think something is going to come of it. Having said that, not everyone I�ve emailed I�ve ended up meeting. Sometimes after emailing for a while the connection just doesn�t seem to be there and so I don�t take it any further. And yes I do send kisses and have my own stamps and get as frustrated as everyone else when someone doesn�t reply.
I always meet in a public place, never ever tell my date where I live, always arrive in my own car and only give out my mobile number. I haven�t any bad stories and have met some great guys, some I�m still friends with even though we didn�t �click�. Even if you don�t meet Mr or Ms Right on this site you will have a great time and meet some amazing people.
Could I once again ask everyone to stop being so malicious in their comments. I would be disgusted if I knew my children spoke the way some people on this site do. If you think someone is obnoxious, bad tempered, a loser etc telling them on this site won�t make an ounce of difference. And if they really are as bad as you think they are then the old karma thing will get them in the end.
Be honest in your profile. State what you want. I know it�s not considered politically correct in this day and age but I do want to be romanced and have flowers sent to me etc and so that�s what I�ve put in my profile. I spent 27years of getting whipper snippers and food processors for presents without saying anything and by crickey I�m not going to put up with another year of it.
Posted by: sue4you at September 13, 2007 10:28 PM
After you have put your profile on, try to search for your own profile that may tell you if its worth actually paying for the service.If you cant find your own profile when you know what to search on how can others with a random search? Have fun!
Posted by: adminfree at September 13, 2007 1:16 AM
@ movingforward2007's quote "I have met a few girls who don't bother doing anything at all except dredge through the daily kisses and emails they receive, and pick a guy that suits them"
Im wondering whether thats why so many emails go unanswered? I reckon these people get kisses in their personal emails, and just reply positively to them without even looking at their profiles.
Then when they get an email, THAT Is when they go and have a look at the profile for the first time, and then decide they dont want to know you?
Posted by: getReal at September 12, 2007 7:48 PM
hi earl im a carpenter. i bet you tried to join the police force and failed so became a pansy bouncer. get a real job you skirt
Posted by: chad1958 at September 12, 2007 4:12 PM
Wow! I have been reading the advice to new joiners, especially women, and I don't know what to say!
I am grateful for the warnings, but am shocked and now very nervous about what terrible things may happen to me on this site.
So, there are people who target new members like me, and just "kiss' them for the fun of it????How do they know I am new? Is there a special section for only the new joiners so that everyone can see them?
I never realised before that man offering to cook a woman a meal at his home, or watch a dvd with her was an expectaion of sex. I thought it was a more "homey" respectable family type date! ( I thought dinner at an expensive reataurant with lots of alcahol was when men expected sex!)....boy I'll make sure I refuse any dvd/home cooking dates!
Well, Its rather depressing to know what people will do, what tricks they will pull...but forwarned is forarmed! ......better safe than sorry.
Thanks to those who posted these warnings for the novice internet daters!
Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at September 11, 2007 11:40 PM
Only been on RSVP for a few months and am glad I come accross this blog. Thanks for the advise. I like to think myself a very honest and sincere man and I must admit to being totally naive about the number of male "players" who use this website for one thing only. Why do these morons have to spoil it for the rest of us?
Posted by: aussiegooner at September 11, 2007 10:23 PM
Advice to new male members or otherwise more "advanced" male members, act as you would in the non virtual world, in whatever form that takes, do not veer too from your reality.
I would direct this to my sisters on here, but I feel the commentary towards them has been adequately catered for, thus far.
I am not barracking for any "side" in particular, but......................being in the X zone....................allows for the whY........to eventuate naturally. whY is there is soo much angst when an eXtra "bit" quite often suffices.
At times the A B C tries to subtitute, with little success, quite often due to the sexlexic nature of humanity.
IE: The difficulties we all face in communicating in this virtual mediam are really no different from our more exposed outer "real" world, only the level of supposed safety in annonaminity of projecting our "true" selves.
The test of our truth is delivered away from our screens, back into the harsh reality of the light of day. ALWAYS keep that in mind when communicating in this dense fog of virtuality.
If you are steady at the helm, the direction is often more clear.
Do not always neccessarily pass the islands that aid in the passage of the journey.
Posted by: pipsta at September 11, 2007 10:09 PM
A lot of the rsvpers are SPAM- Spurious Pretending(profiles) Ageist Men.For example (ex DILFrsvpname) GALLANTRY007 (minus one the zero's) has presented with 3 contrasting profiles. One minute he is 41, than 38 and now 36; Originally undecided re children then not wanting any and now wants have them tommorow. Watch out for him suggesting you agree to a platonic weekend away - without meeting Him.
Posted by: atypicgal at September 11, 2007 8:46 PM
stoic your right the really depth of rudeness from some people is shocking, some people miss represent them self serverly. but hey that would not be internet dating. this is my first comment i have posted. I would rate rsvp as having alot of weid people or as i like to say broken people in my age group but at the same time i have meet 2 decent friend . I know i am being critical but after a while it gets lame. And another thing girls and there photos. Every girl has shown a photo of when they where 2 years younger, talk about people that dont take pride in how they look.
Posted by: crusie01 at September 11, 2007 6:45 PM
EarlWyoming, you're full of bull****
There is a very well known executive, who has been the CEO of several national companies, and is now the National Marketing Director of another extremely well know international phone company and his photo is here on RSVP for everyone to see!
He doesn't bother to hide his photo or his position with his company, as all his emails come from his work email address.
Google this man's name and he comes up many times - he's always in the financial news.
And where do you get off belittling tradesmen and labourers, the "common man" with "nothing to lose"!!!
You're a condescending loser. And you think you're BETTER than any of them?
Get real.
Hi all,
I'm in quite the dilemma over the whole body size question. Average seems so vague. Guys you want us girls to be up front, so what is the general consensus to a girl being size 14-16 is that average, (seems a fairly average size to me when i see the other mums at school) or lets face it, there are a few kilos to be lost, so a bit overweight?
Posted by: frillyfloralfrock71 at September 11, 2007 3:12 PM
Well all I can say is that, this site has become worse than shopping at Coles, endless corridors and the shelves packed with women all offering something to grab your attention.
So far after 15 months on this site I can say that its by no means an easy thing. Have had a few dates some scary, some nice had the pleasure of two girls that I would have loved to spend my life with but sometimes its a case of bad timing as well. They have turned out to be great friends.
I placed the worst photo I could find, working on the basis that if she is looking for Brad Pitt or one of the guys from Manpower I wasnt interested. In saying that im very handsome male in mid 40's , minus lots of hair lol. Very successfull and have been fortunate to have had a blessed life.
It seems that most of the gals on here do just that, base the whole reply thing on that photo. Which is a shame.
I think this site would be a whole lot better off if it had an open chat room. At least you would get a better understanding of him/her before even looking at the profile. The whole kiss thing is a joke, I think what I hate worst of all is the girls that say, Ive currentlty responded to someone else but you see them on here every other day.
So RSVP you guys need to amend your kisses box. I'm sure that at some stage I will meet a new lady to spend my life with, either on here or just by chance is this big beautiful world. It would be nice if people took to telling the truth as opposed to lying about there age, weight. As it leaves you shell shocked when you do finally meet.
The whole baggage thing is there, no one asked for it it's just a part of todays life, so get used to it and if you have kids well i dont consider them to be baggage. They weren't bagagge when you and your partner decided to have them. You may not want anymore but thats a choice we all make depending on were we are in life.
Anyway thats my 2 cents worth.
Posted by: Heart1x1Heart at September 11, 2007 2:50 PM
I would like to see some guy who have real love.
Posted by: anna at September 11, 2007 2:38 PM
I am struggling a little with the site so far. I am very open about dating, so want to date as many cute, funny, nice guys as possible and have a 'last man standing' approach to it......not that I want to be physical with these guys, let me make that clear, just I dont believe in dating one guy and putting your eggs into one basket and getting all lover up with the fantasy of Mr Right, when he is often Mr Wrong (not always as he is a bad man...really dislike this bad man atittude women get, we arent victims). I just want to make friends with guys my age and a bit younger, gorgeous, funny, intelligent, adventurous....my matches.
One thing I am finding infuriating though, is the number of men older, the 40's brigade, who send a kiss even though my tagline says 26-32 and NO OLDER MEN......I am constantly browsed by them too. In one sense, I ask myself, is it just them being polite and saying something nice and should I send a blank kiss back, as a lot say is a good idea to say thank you. Then I think, no, I specifically ask not to be contacted by guys older and yet they still do, is that not just an insult to me? Or in fact worse, do they think I spoke out of my bottom and are taking a pot shot at me thinking I would be interested in just them and for some reason they are trying anyway.
I am struggling with the number of guys who never read profiles....if a guy said he liked really tall blondes, I wouldnt message him to tell him I thought we would be a match, nor would I get angry as he wouldnt want to date me as I am not tall...yet men seem to get angry as I wont be interested in them as I like tall, good looking men of 26-33 who are well travelled and adventurous....that baffles me.
Not sure if this internet dating is for me, but will give it a while
Posted by: amandad31 at September 11, 2007 10:16 AM
Hey bloggers...
Fairly new to RSVP and to this advice section (only opened it tonight). I'd like any comments anyone has on my profile...i really haven't had any response - do I sound that boring??
ps. no what you all mean about the ones that can't even reply to a kiss !
Posted by: bfriends2start at September 10, 2007 11:09 PM
I'm still shaking my head at EarlWyomings incredible comments....no professional men on here? What a load of garbage...I know at least two lawyers, an accountant, a university professor just to name a few, all with unprotected photos, and jobs listed in the appropriate categories.
Men need not fear dontdatehimgirls, or similiar sites if they stopped playing so many games.
I feel so sorry for those tradesmen who are looking for their partner as they have no been dumped down a peg or two on the socio-economic scale...apparently not worthy of being "decent" and have "nothing to lose". How unfair considering there are many wealthy tradies out there who have worked hard and made a very good living and/or business.
As for ending in humour...I just dont' get that. It's ironic you'd compare both Paris Hilton and George W. Bush, however, in suggesting that man has a brain, even compared to Paris, is just plain stupid. A man who confused Iran and Iraq, forgets what Conference he is attending and insists of reading picture books held upside down to children....yeah I can see why you'd think he was smart...
Posted by: Wishfulthinker03 at September 10, 2007 9:53 PM
Some advice to the new girls on the site, and the ladies who have been here for a while - Don't be afraid to do your own searching. Chances are you will find a nice guy that way, instead of sitting back waiting for them to come to you! I have met a few girls who have said they don't bother doing anything at all except dredge through the daily kisses and emails they receive, and pick a guy that suits them. I think this is a reasonable approach if you don't let it go to your head, and realise that the hunters are targeting you because it's open season.
The other one is, hide your profile for a while: Give it a try for a couple of months, then when the interest wanes, hide your profile for a couple of months or more, and then come back again. You will get more interest that way, rather than leaving your profile up for 2 years at a time.... by doing that you will always be someones "later" choice, rather than their "now" choice.
Posted by: movingforward2007 at September 10, 2007 7:14 PM
Just be careful and not put too much trust in what people say on their profiles. I have been hurt very badly from men on RSVP. Rudeness in particular. But I have also met an 18 month partner and now a new one who I hope to marry and also some very good male friends. You have to have a thick skin and that is the only way you can survive. If not, don't do it!
earlwymong..what are you talking about? No professionals on rsvp?
I have dated a solicitor, a cardiologist, a marketing executive, the owner of an international business, an executive in a financial firm, a graphic designer, an engineer - ALL who I have met from RSVP.
Only one of them deserved to be on dontdatehimgirl and only one of them IS on that site and no I didnt post his profile there, 3 of his other girlfriends who he claimed he wanted to marry were the ones who only confirmed what my gut instinct was telling me.
And, where do you get off referring to tradesmen and labourers as "the common man" as opposed to "the upper echelon"? Snobbery, anyone?
As for your parting comment about having to end with a bit of humour, Im still trying to find it.....
Posted by: twicebitten at September 10, 2007 8:39 AM
Don't put all your cards on the table in your profile. Even if you want everyone to be aware of what some may see as a handicap or imperfection.
Seems everyone is chasing a dream!! Which, when you think about it is ironic.
Posted by: smithy 2387 at September 10, 2007 7:26 AM
woodnwine.. if you read my post properly you would have seen that I did not mean people fighting in other countries.. but people fighting to just stay alive, not meant in the literal sense. People who are starving.. etc etc. I just think nit picking about how someone spells really needs to be put into perspective when you do think about the world around you and maybe the more important things in life. I just wanted to get a bit of perspective.. I do hope that has made it clearer for you woodnwine! :-)
Posted by: SeraphSuzie at September 9, 2007 6:22 PM
I have had a mix of good and bad experienes with rsvp. A few bad experiences put me off completely, and if I didn't remind myself that I did in the end meet someone that was special, and who I ended up going out with for a long while I would have never returned.
(I just re-activated my profile).
My advice to new members is that you have to have an open mind, not be put off easily, especially by those that do not respond, don't judge a book by its cover as photos can be very decieving, and the best thing is to get things over with fast. Don't waste time with lengthy email conversations, just get their number, talk on the phone, and arrange to meet somewhere casual for a drink or coffee.
Posted by: alfie06 at September 8, 2007 2:55 PM
Some advice for men (I can't comment on the girls)...
1. Take care over the photograph you put on your profile. If you don't have a good one that represents you well - get one taken. Attraction is in the eye of the beholder but if you don't give someone a good idea about you at your best then it's a shaky start.
2. Write an interesting profile. If I have to read one more profile with a list of cliches I think I'm going to scream! Most of the profiles I read tell me absolutely nothing about the personality of the man. One suggestion is to get a trusted friend or relative to help you write it.
3. Everyone wants to have a good time - even us nerds. But everyone's definition of a good time is different so clarify what you get off on.
I'm sure there are some worthwhile men on this site but I can't see them for a wall of bland profiles with rotten pics.
Guys - sell yourselves!
Posted by: decorouswoman at September 8, 2007 1:35 PM
Could I just quietly disillusion a few people.
Sites like don'tdatehimgirl.com show how easily some psycho can destroy any male by posting his photo, his name and personal details thereon.
So any man in a sensitive job, a professional position, a politically sensitive post, any well paid job, will under NO circumstances appear with a photo and identifiable personal details on a PUBLIC internet site accessible to every maniac and his/her dog.
Scream HONESTY as much as you like till you are blue in your face. That sort of nonsense is for the tradesmen and labourers of this world, the common man, the males with nothing to lose if it goes bottom up by exposing himself on a public internet site.
IF there is an internet site upon which these upper echelon will register it will be a CLOSED internet site, with a high hurdle or bar to eliminate clowns such as a registration fee of $5000 for both males and females. One private entrepreneur runs a closed agency for millionaires on the Gold Coast where DISCRETION is the key. Discretion has nothing to do with nonsense about honesty. Get a life the lot of you. The gap in the market is for males (and females) in sensitive positions who are not necessarily millionaires.
So you will hardly see a male professional person on this site. They know what damage can be done by filth sites like dontdatehimgirl and other trash. You occasionally see a professional woman on this site. It amazes me that they openly display their professional qualifications for all the yobbos to spin off. I feel for them. Why are you humiliating yourself like this?
But can I say a quick hello to a certain Head of Department and another Professor who quietly contacted me ages ago. I have no solution to your problem, even though I can appreciate what it is.
Now that is your own personal security advisor speaking. Well I have to end with a bit of humour don't I, or it would not be in keeping with expectations.
Why did Paris end up in prison. Maybe if she ditched her preference for female bodyguards and employed hunks with dark sunglasses and walkie talkies who might lead her scatty brain down different paths.
After all George W Bush has a massive male security detail. But then again he has a brain. Works for him.
Posted by: EarlWyoming at September 7, 2007 10:41 PM
I've actually been writing blogs about the whole RSVP experience for quite a while (on another site).
Advice - Not getting jaded, and not getting overly emotionally involved too quickly are important. Also never read anything into the kind of response you get/don't get. You never know the whole story of what's going on elsewhere.
RSVP should be about having fun first and foremost. IF something good happens great, and maybe all you'll get a few laughs. That's OK too. :)
Posted by: RSVPBlogger at September 7, 2007 7:14 PM
There are a couple of things i would suggest to new members.
1st thing would be to not expect a timely responce to your kisses and emails. Apparently waiting for a week for a reply to an email you put your heart and soul into doesnt warrant you getting upset when it takes over a week for a responce and the other person was online every night that week.... and they where the one who initiated contact....
2nd thing, its a real putoff when someone thinks their photo can do all the talking for them. If you want to attract someone genuine, spend a little time on your profile, jazz it up a little.
Posted by: esky at September 7, 2007 6:34 PM
SeraphSuzie - I think people fighting in other countries has nothing to do with whether people take the time to spell properly in their profiles. Dictionaries are cheap or freely available on the net and I for one am not too embarrased to use one. I think if people take the time to present their profile well it says a lot about them as a person. You don't have to be university educated to care about how you present yourself. This is my opinion not a comment against you, this forum is after all about opinions.
Posted by: woodnwine at September 7, 2007 10:09 AM
Do what I am going to do - go out in the real world to the events and meet in real life - too many ppl hide behind their computers and never meet!! This makes it hard for the genuine ones amongst us!!
Posted by: feistyangel at September 6, 2007 12:48 PM
havesomefun101...are you really serious? You think people should be judged as worthy future partners based on how they spell? I have seen so many people complain about spelling blah blah blah.. All I can say is look behind the words, the outer shell and see what really is important. It really irks me when I think of people who are fighting in other countries to just stay alive and here we are complaining about how someone spells a word. Perspective I think its called!!
Posted by: SeraphSuzie at September 4, 2007 7:59 PM
Just found this 'blog' section and had a bit of a read.
I forgot I even had a profile on RSVP until someone I know recently mentioned they found my profile on here.
Kind of shows how little regard I have for actually making any effort to meet new people. (lazy and busy)
Anyhow, I'm glad I found this blog section and have found the comments made by others to be useful.
Heck, this is the year I need to start contacting people who are interesting, and actually invest some time in looking for someone (like on those cheesy TV ads that make me cringe, "meet that special someone.")
Posted by: Jonny9999 at September 4, 2007 12:07 AM
I have one thing to say to ANYONE even contemplating online dating. There is a site dontdatehimgirl.com and i really really wish i had checked it out before I went and fell for mr charming/down to earth/insert cliche here. he was on it, as are a number of other RSVP males...of course the girls posting the profile could be simply rejected and bitter, but I have to say the experiences shared have been so similiar to my own that Im fairly certain these are just nice girls who fell into the same trap i did.
One more thing; if after two dates there is no mention of removing his profile but he wants to keep seeing you I would suggest you think very carefully, as a decent guy said to me you cannot give it a real chance if one of you is still keeping thier options open.
Posted by: BuyerBeware at September 3, 2007 12:54 PM
Hi to all. Have only just discovered the blogs, not having been on RSVP for awhile. There is a lot of good advice here. I have met a few guys on this site, and have had some of the experiences described here. Originally my attitude was to be flexible but also to not compromise on some things.
So - eventually I did compromise and was disappointed. Now I am back with no compromise.
I have met a few guys who seriously misrepresent themselves - it is not just the girls who put up out of date studio photos, call themselves athletic/slim when they are nowhere near it, social drinkers when they can't go anywhere if copious quantities of alcohol aren't involved. And while the athletic thing may sound pretty shallow, I take pride in being fit and in good physical shape and appreciate the same mentality in the guys I go out with. Having said that, history has shown me that you can find a gem in the most unexpected places, so I still try not to go too hard and fast on that particular aspect, but no compromise on principles and general behaviour.
So with all that I would say:
1. I don't see the point in spending too much time emailing back and forth, however if that is the way you both prefer to communicate, go with it. Speaking to somebody on the phone is a much better way of getting to know them before you meet - if you aren't comfortable with what they say or how they say it on the phone, that is not likely to change in person. Email is too impersonal to get much of an idea of the person you are corresponding with. Don't give out your landline number immediately - a mobile is harder to track down if you do meet up with a crank..
2. Trust your first instincts - if you are uncomfortable about some facet of the person you have met then either get out quick, or ensure you don't give away too much personal information if you think your first instincts may be wrong (usually they are not!).
3. Always meet up somewhere neutral and public for the first few meetings. (see 2.) Don't invite the person to your place, and don't go to theirs until you are sure you know enough about them. The only time I didn't do that I found somebody who was bitter and twisted and thought I was there to get into bed with him.
4. If you go out with somebody a few times then decide they are not for you be tactful about how you let them down. "I don't really like you at all" or "I've decided I'm not really interested" can hurt if the other person has started to develop feelings towards you. Perhaps "I like your company but really only see us as friends" is a bit gentler.
Whatever people may say, we all have some sort of baggage or sore spots from previous relationships, whatever the reason for the relationship ending.
Above all, treat others as you would like to be treated..
Posted by: nevergivup at September 2, 2007 5:04 PM
Do a spell-check or get a trusted friend to read your profile before posting it. If you want to come across as "Intelligent", you must know how to spell it! Other common mistakes include - not using a capital "I" for the pronoun. Substituting "alot" for two words "a lot". And my personal favourite (see my profile) not understanding the difference between their, there and they're...
Best of luck and lol!
Posted by: havesomefun101 at September 2, 2007 10:27 AM
Hi All, I'm new to all this, by that I mean RVSP and internet dating in general, I wanted to know if "tennis and Golf" in the sports section is a code for something or not, because 9 out of 10 guys seem to have it in their profile? I was told by a friend who is a long time member that there are heaps of codes you can put in your profile eg shawshank redemption means out for a good time not in it for a long time relationship. Or am I being way to paranoid???
Posted by: verady at September 2, 2007 2:39 AM
hi leggy7 your post of 30/8/07 has such a positive "spring" to it l had to smile :)
Posted by: auntykaz at September 1, 2007 3:45 PM
well having been on here for a couple weeks now i decided to buy some stamps and send some kisses.. Ithought great i have got some responses saying they are waiting for my email. so i take the plunge and send a email. Well the first one i sent ended up being to someone who after i sent it disapeared of the site, great, wot a waste of a stamp.
i sent another one to someone who doesnt seem to want to chat, 2 down 3 to go. seems 2 other girls dont want to chat either... Seems certain girls just like to make sure we waste our emails. im not spending another 50 or so dollars to get the same treatment..i must say pretty dissapointing...just my 2 cents worth
Posted by: frustrated at September 1, 2007 3:29 PM
What a wonderful way to meet people. I have had only positive experiences with those I have made contact with on RSVP.
Honesty, trusting your gut feelings and having no expectations, would be the advice I would give. A recent, clear photo is a bonus, and a profile that reveals your personality really helps..
Meeting up reasonalbly soon after making contact - say within a week, is also good. Seeing someone in the flesh is the only way to know if you are going to be compatable, although phone calls can give you an inkling, so there is no point wasting time on emails etc, and the disapointment is greater if you have built up an unrealistic picture over weeks that is shattered when you actually meet.
Be considerate and polite, how rude, Leggy7, that they never replied to you! I guess you can be thankful that it only cost you a stamp, and no heartache, to find out they were game playing.....
Posted by: Jadenite at September 1, 2007 11:51 AM
bikerbabe5 - good for you, more women should take your attitude. Good luck and have a great weekend.
Posted by: woodnwine at August 31, 2007 10:57 AM
Hi y'all..I'm kind of new here and boy has it been a helluva trip..I only wish I'd read this blog ages ago!
I hid my profile a few weeks ago because I was just really frustrated by the number of guys saying "they were interested and waiting for an email..." and then when i do send an email they don't respond!! (There goes another stamp..) Anyway, I'm back on now...(my pic is password protected now) with no expectations...just looking to make friends and who knows-I could get lucky... no, not that lucky :)
Thanks to all who posted positive encouragement and tips.
Posted by: Leggy7 at August 30, 2007 3:36 AM
Looking at many of these posts I really need to say, there seems to be heaps of angry people out there. Having been on rsvp for the past year on and off, I've met 3 lovely men, 1 of whom was a real gentleman & we dated for a month or 2. Even though I have not been compatible with these blokes, I have enjoyed their company. I am now chatting with 3 new blokes! I really love having internet "boyfriends" and am looking forward to meeting thees blokes. Sure I have had someone not reply to my email, and was tempted to send a rude message (about wasting my money) but what is the point? No reply is better than wasting my time with endless emails when the bloke is not really interested just polite... I don't need sympathy dates!!
I take the approach that if I met someone in the pub who was cute, I'd give him my number and go from there, so what's the difference with the Internet? You've gotta take risks to live else you might as well curl up with a block of chockie and watch Brigid Jones' Diary.
PS have changed my profile to "little overweight" as I'm size 14-16, which I thought was average, but am not interested in a bloke who will stress about my weight.. I like myself the way I am.
Posted by: bikerbabe5 at August 29, 2007 10:21 PM
yes they do dryhumouredwriter...and guess what? you have just been voted out.
I am always taken aback by people who have not yet contributed or revealed any of their own opinions or stories or foibles feeling quite able to criticise and sneer at those who have.
Perhaps you can show us what you have got?
Posted by: whatididforlove at August 29, 2007 7:45 PM
dryhumourdwriter - what ever you do don't suggest people stop slagging off at eachother and do something useful like giving positive advice. You will be accused of being boring and condescending.
Posted by: woodnwine at August 29, 2007 11:41 AM
For all those of you who seem to spend time on this blog slagging each other off, why not go do something usefull? It's supposed to be about advice to new members. Some of these entries sound like they come form the Big Brother House.
Posted by: dryhumouredwriter at August 28, 2007 9:26 PM
Sorry, didn't sign my blog Aug28 - you know the one.
Posted by: woodnwine at August 28, 2007 1:27 PM
hereforu2 at August 16...
I don't check blogs daily, so missed your post (above) directed to me.
All I can say is, YOU must have missed several of my posts lately.
1) You did not "catch me looking for a second time". Stop boosting your ego at my expense. I was going through who had viewed my profile- you have a hidden photo- your profile came up- I moved on. Immediately. I DON'T CARE why you sent me a kiss. I responded negatively. You were "satisfying my curiosity"??? Get over yourself. I wasn't curious.
2) "If you'd like to relive Pricilla (sic) Queen of the Desert, I'm up for a trip to CPedy which my family own a lot of etc etc etc....."
GO AWAY.
I know Coober very well, drive there often, & know how long it takes to get there. I have good friends there. I'm not interested in what you or your family own. I'm continually disgusted by the treatment of the aborigines by many white landowners there.
I have a bus. I travel on my own or occasionally with a friend. Go on your own.
3) "Pretty cute, huh? lol"
What? Who? You? Me? What?
4) I have an aversion to men who tell you they look 14yrs younger than they are. I've already posted a comment on this a few days ago (either on DatingThruTheAges or DatingOver40)- look for it hereforu2. From memory, I remarked that I have eyes & can judge how young or old a man looks. I think you're delusional & should check your mirror again. If I announced to someone that I looked 41 (I'm 55)- true or not - they would think me an egotistical idiot with a modesty deficiency...
Pretty unattractive, huh? fonlaa (for once, not laughing at all)
decoratress
Posted by: decoratress at August 27, 2007 11:43 AM
wishingandhoping.
why wasn't i told you are the rsvp guru? Always the mushroom, do forgive me.
i have no objections to a kiss,cuddle etc, actually love it ........my objection is that they think thats all it takes to make us happy .... wow he's the one for me he kisses well.....please ! who told him he's a good kisser anyway ?
muriel3
Posted by: muriel3 at August 27, 2007 9:48 AM
Pffft....did you think females are only untruthful? how about you guys, how many of you lied more than in real life? What do you expect internet dating? seems too good to be true? by statistic how many been successful looking for partner? I think over all rating is only 1% by chance. More on frustration, deceit, victim by predator who were after for free short term happiness, sex trade, They can use all their bait for good fishing especially women with blinded of promises, loneliness, soft spot believing found someone can love them. But the truth is just a Free Ride Ticket...I think you been twisted by your expectation.
Posted by: Aliane at August 26, 2007 8:41 PM
hey pffft you will get into trouble talking like that around here. dont you know that size 16 is average?i should know i was married to an average women a long time ago she used to ask to try on size 10 dresses and get highly offended when the sales girl politely suggested something a little bit bigger.i used to laugh not out loud mind you it was more than my life was worth
Posted by: c at August 26, 2007 4:06 PM
My advice to newcomers is this: treat people you meet on this site the same way you would treat people you meet anywhere.
My rule of thumb is to always email/MSN first - I've had a couple of guys who have hassled me by phone (eg ringing me at 2am on a work day) and am cautious about giving out my number.
Put an accurate but slightly blurry photo as your non-hidden photo, but put accurate and non-blurry photos password protected in your photo album. I've been approached/followed by guys who have recognised me from my profile photo but who never contacted me via RSVP and it's not something I appreciated. My profile photo is honest, but I'm not as recognisable from it as I would be from my other photos.
And guys, I'd recommend sending a kiss before you send an email - it means a girl can give you an accurate and honest reply before you waste your money on a stamp. If on the other hand, you want to try your luck with an email, it might be worth a try. At least the girl can reply in full why she might not be interested, rather than relying on the generic (and rather insipid) standardised responses.
Posted by: taximusic at August 26, 2007 1:57 PM
muriel3,
what are you talking about????
i am the self proclaimed GURU of RSVP....
they said i was and i agree..
also, what is wrong with good kisses, cuddles and massages on the couch with a DVD? i love it, my dog and i do it all the time....but he's no stranger.
Posted by: Wishingandhoping at August 26, 2007 9:50 AM
My advice after 3mths of being taken for a ride by a predator and being treated rudely? This is like artificial insemination! I am honest and open. Maybe this is the site for those who aren't. I am in my mid 40s, don't think I'm ugly and not a bad catch according to those around me. Why do men in their late 40s think a 40 year old women is not good enough. Have they looked in the mirror lately or do they want to spend the rest of their lives pretending to be something they're not? Guys, if you really think you can handle a women 10 years or more younger than you are, be honest and put it in your profile. I do not contact anyone with a preferred age outside of mine. I think there is a little growing up to do. Meanwhile, after a very short time, I am considering giving RSVP a miss as a gorgeous 52 year old friend of mine has just done. Same problem, old men thinking they are still under 40!!
Posted by: 40 something at August 25, 2007 7:33 PM
Hi again all,
guys don't listen to justadvice (at August 13) if I see a photo with a bike I will always send a kiss! It's great if you show your interests in your handle and photo.
My advise for what it's worth is to post a photo, even it it's password protected, there is no point being shy... prospective dates will have to see you in the end!
By the way(btw) lol = laugh out loud
have fun all :* (that's a kiss lol)
Posted by: bikerbabe5 at August 25, 2007 5:00 PM
to pffft, surley if dress sizes range from 8 to 24 than slim people would be size 8 - 12, adverage 14 - 16 and large 18 to 24?
Posted by: bikerbabe5 at August 25, 2007 4:30 PM
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
I haven't had a bad experience yet although I have found some of the women I met had posted photos that were definately not a true reflection of what they looked like today.
I would recommend RSVP to any of my friends and would advise them to be honest in their profile etc, take it slow and steady when they see a profile they like and when they receive a kiss from a member that they are undecided about whether they would be interested in or not - give it a go, the member may turn out to be much better in person. Also, don't have a narrow view of what you might be looking for - be open minded.
I met my current girlfriend that way. I read her profile a few times before deciding to send a kiss and we have been dating for just over a year now - all because I took that small gamble. And she has turned out to be much more than I expected.
Posted by: itstimeol55 at August 25, 2007 2:18 PM
In my profile I say what I mean and mean what I say. Not all profiles have hidden meanings. However alittle word of advice to you guys it's really a turn off to read something like " I give good kisses, cuddles and massages" Do you really think us that shallow? By the way are stoic and patience self proclaimed gurus of RSVP or where they voted into this roll
Posted by: muriel3 at August 24, 2007 2:16 PM
Advice to new male members LIE:your a trapist monk,part time stock broker,who works for a socialist feminist organisation , a director for green peace,who has a stand up gig as a comedian(in reference to tall dark,sense "of humour,loves kids animals etc,etc).
But above all Never take it seriously ,that or those few who you thought you were suited to ,in probability won`t even have the courtesy of replying,others will simply waste stamps ,you will "talk " for weeks,without meeting,because they are "busy" at work,some will "disappear" whilst you are "talking"(gone back to their boyfriends),just in it for a ego trip,in other words.And just because they are online for a week,don`t expect a reply,don`t you know they are busy?...Then one day you think your luck has changed,you get that reply and it goes back and forth,then she asks for 3000US$,thats the "stings",so all in all ,if you have a dollar and can handle it go to the pub,you never know..just don`t set your heart here with great expectations.
Posted by: dallas70 at August 24, 2007 12:00 AM
Honestly your better of single and if you dont believe it just read these blogs and it will help to confirm it for you.
Posted by: sicunrex at August 23, 2007 11:18 PM
blahblahh
" slim, athletic, average... overweight.. are all dependant on your interpretation...."
Actually no, and you've just clearly shown why so many RSVP women are self delusional liars.
"and well i would interpret average as being size 14-16...."
No, those sizes are overweight(fat). Keep being the excellent RSVP ambassador for untruthful RSVP females that you are.
Posted by: pffft at August 23, 2007 1:53 PM
The smiling and laughing were great and made me feel really good. I had a really fantastic day, how was yours?
Posted by: woodnwine at August 22, 2007 11:47 AM
Well woodnwine, you the reason im leaving. Had enough of the attacks from you and seeing you also do it to other members. So cya woody.
Posted by: singlelady at August 21, 2007 6:04 PM
Re- MAREEA9
RE- Hereforu2
I been waiting for so long..
Someone fly me to the moon...
But I'm not afraid to be alone...
Maybe this time...
Maybe tonight...
Someone will answer my prolong lone...
Maybe I'm a fool...
Pretending falling in love to unknown...
That my heartbeat will passed through the moon...
Finding someone but still unknown...
Feeling my heart crushing along...
Without my grey hair keeping me wait that too long...
I know will bring my smile shine by the marry moon...
I will wait until he come along...
And bring me all his belongs...
But for the meantime I will enjoy blogging all along.
Smile and so long,
Aliane
Posted by: Aliane at August 19, 2007 10:11 PM
singlelady
the drugs I am on today are called compassion, friendship and happiness. Tomorrow I am going to try some smiling and laughing.
I am only joking but trying to make the point that you don't need to be on drugs, just have a positive happy demeanor and good things will surely happen.
Posted by: woodnwine at August 19, 2007 9:55 PM
I have noticed a few people complaining about women they send kisses to rejecting them - basically saying, you can't judge to much from a profile so you should give everyone a chance.
But my advice to new members would be to not take it that way at all.
A lot of the tiem I have to think quite hard about whether to accept or reject a kiss. Sometimes I find a profile just vaguely interesting. Should I make them waste a stamp on me when I am fairly sure it's not going to go beyond an email or 2?
So maybe these girls who are saying you aren't right for them are actually being considerate, not mean.
Posted by: Kimma at August 19, 2007 2:29 PM
Irishgirl, there are alot of game players on this site and other dating sites, so no matter which site you are, they are there.
Posted by: singlelady at August 19, 2007 8:40 AM
Chopper, definitely agree with you there about chatting on msn or phone first before meeting in person. You have to take the time to get to know someone and not rush into things. At least with msn and phone, you can find out things easily about the person you are meeting and if you dont feel at ease at all, it can also save alot of heartache in meeting that person.
Posted by: singlelady at August 17, 2007 7:19 PM
Advice to new members - There are some great people on RSVP and hopefully you will meet some of them. They may not turn out to be your perfect match and you may never form a relationship with them but at least you will enjoy meeting them and maybe make some friends. Remember they may have some single friends so if you treat them with respect, even though they didn't turn out to be your dream date, they might just introduce you to some of them.
Be kind to everyone you meet - being nasty to them doesn't improve your happiness. You will meet some people who are not what they say they are in their profile or even look like their photo but don't let that detract from your enjoyment of interacting with another person. Practice your conversational skills and compassion on them and use the experience to grow wiser and more tolerant.
Posted by: woodnwine at August 17, 2007 10:35 AM
Woodnwine what drugs are you on today.
Posted by: singlelady at August 16, 2007 9:55 PM
Argh! I have just read this whole thing, and my advice to new members is:
Trust your instincts, and don't believe everything you read in the blogs either.
There are a few people who lay down hard and fast rules, and associated judgements, regarding certain behaviours (ie: meeting at their house, etc...) saying that these are all road signs to "Avoidsville".
I live in the city, and when women who would like to do something in the city come in from further afield, they might come to my place first. There's parking, and I'm there already! Of course it would be advisable to spend time on msn and/or talking other phone first, but because I'm not a freak or a stalker, women are genrally amenable to that. It doesn't mean I'm trying to steer them directly to the bedroom, in fact I have had women suggest that to me in the past.
This is just one example, but you get the idea.
Someone else's bad experience doesn't have to mean you should conduct yourself their way. Just be safe, do your homework, and have fun.
In other news, I will try to refrain from joining the rain of fury descending on 'nicegirlplease', as it is obvious he's in enough pain already, acting as he does.
I probably just made his 'block list'...oh well.
Posted by: chopperpilot at August 16, 2007 3:53 PM
Forever Sceptical-
"The really genuine guys will buy stamps and contact you whether or not you initiated the kiss."
I'm really genuine, and I wouldn't (as a rule). I think it's sexist to suggest otherwise. If someone kisses me, and they state they have no stamps, I'll mail. But you can't read minds when you receive a kiss. Some people like to kiss just to say hi, some people kiss EVERYBODY. I'm not wasting stamps on those people, if they want to talk, they can instigate the proceeding!
Also, sometimes people change their mind after they have kisses someone, and might not intend to ever email. If you email them, you've wasted a stamp (which you can't buy singularly), and opened up a line of communication with someone who basically doesn't want to hear from you.
Generalisations are dangerous (even though I just made one right then!)
Posted by: chopperpilot at August 16, 2007 3:30 PM
There's so many good people out there. Be true to yourself and honest about your profile but most of all be kind to respondents. Always reply!
I've had sooo much feedback from positive people. Conversely, I've had some really bad experiences with intellectual snobs and people who are just plain rude! I've still to grasp how people can be so unkind. Hopefully we're all on this site for the same end result. Keep that in mind.
I would implore you all to treat all respondents with respect - even if you believe you're totally incompatible!
Posted by: amazeme1 at August 16, 2007 10:49 AM
There's so many good people out there. Be true to yourself and honest about your profile but most of all be kind to respondents. Always reply!
I've had sooo much feedback from positive people. Conversely, I've had some really bad experiences with intellectual snobs and people who are just plain rude! I've still to grasp how people can be so unkind. Hopefully we're all on this site for the same end result. Keep that in mind.
I would implore you all to treat all respondents with respect - even if you believe you're totally incompatible!
Posted by: amazeme1 at August 16, 2007 10:39 AM
There's so many good people out there. Be true to yourself and honest about your profile but most of all be kind to respondents. Always reply!
I've had sooo much feedback from positive people. Conversely, I've had some really bad experiences with intellectual snobs and people who are just plain rude! I've still to grasp how people can be so unkind. Hopefully we're all on this site for the same end result. Keep that in mind.
I would implore you all to treat all respondents with respect - even if you believe you're totally incompatible!
Posted by: amazeme1 at August 16, 2007 10:37 AM
Decoratress,
Caught you looking for the second time.
If you would like to relive Pricilla, Queen of the Desert I'm up for a trip to Coober Pedy which my family own a lot of, only 8 hours from here, one problem, I dont have a bus.
PS. the kiss was just to satisfy your curiosity.
Pretty cute huh.lol
Posted by: hereforu2 at August 16, 2007 2:09 AM
seekingsameviews, I do not know what has happened to you to make you so bitter, but without getting my head bitten off from you I would like to give you a little advice: You have a beautiful profile your appearance had not change much in the past 20 years, you need to forget about the past..it is there loss, You need to show them that you are better than them.
YOU still have a bright future ahead.
Posted by: Shellyplus2 (profile off line at the moment)) at August 15, 2007 11:40 PM
Mareea9 I hope you put a copyright on that.
"clap, clap, clap, clap" lots of little claps..... this just made my day :)
I have been on here for hours and had to scroll down to the bottom because its way past my bedtime.
I am new to RSVP for the second time and didn't realise about the blogs until a couple of weeks ago.... sorry but I do not have any advice for anyone bit just wanted to mention how great it is to read these blogs regardless of what the topic is about.
To all the regulars never give up on these blogs as you guys are great I just love reading your blogs (you know who you are) a few of you live too far away but I would love to meet you all, you sound great and I can't believe you are still single??? hang in there as Mr or Mrs right will come along for you all soon, we all just need a little patience.
I am still waiting and hoping
Posted by: Shellyplus2 (profile off line at the moment)) at August 15, 2007 11:27 PM
OMG
That's oh my goodness gracious me to the over 40s
I think I might just have delivered an instruction manual on How To Do It, rather than a cautionary tale.
OMG
OMG
Posted by: EarlWyoming at August 15, 2007 2:46 PM
seekingsameviews.
It is obvious that some male beat you when you were just a puppy.
Get over it and get on with life before it's too late.
By the way, your pics. are cool.
Posted by: hereforu2 at August 14, 2007 11:46 PM
MAREEA9
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If you believe that crap,
You've been fooled too.
At the end of the day,
In my place of no fear,
All I need is a woman,
To bring me a beer.
At the end of the night,
When I retire,
I need a good woman,
To light my fire.
I can dream if I wish,
And you too if you can,
Caus I am realistic,
You see I'm a man.
Posted by: hereforu2 at August 14, 2007 11:35 PM
singlelady
OK you win, I will say no more to encourage you to seek happiness or a better life. I wish you luck with your complaints and hope they fall on like minded ears so you can complain together. That's unless you have blocked them from contacting you or changed your phone number. I was only trying to be nice but as I have found out several times already on these blogs that usually doesn't go down too well, it is seen as condescending. Much better to be cruel and nasty but I don't do cruel and nasty so I'll just shut up.
Good luck with what ever it is you are actually trying to achieve.
Posted by: woodnwine at August 14, 2007 10:28 PM
In regards to fake profiles, we only have to look at what has happened recently to a SA Farmer who travelled to South Africa, thinking he was going to meet someone that he had been chatting to over the internet. He was kidnapped and lucky enough to escape. Another scam to gain money.
Its not just the nigerian scammers you have to worry about now, its also the russian bride scammers that lurk on dating sites.
Posted by: singlelady at August 14, 2007 9:50 PM
nicegirlplease do you use nasal spray technology? i think so. most people our age have kids and feel blessed for it.you are a big mouthed moron get your profile down asap i dont think there will be many complaints
Posted by: chad1958 at August 14, 2007 7:32 PM
My advice to new members? Don't do it! Join an introductory agency where they can filter those bad apples for you if you are serious that is. But If you are into making fun and playing games & playing around then by all means join it a hundred times.
Posted by: seekingsameviews at August 14, 2007 10:37 AM
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, and knows what to answer to "how bigs my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Posted by: MAREEA9 at August 14, 2007 8:08 AM
Advice to guys: don't post photos with your car or motorbike. To me it either means "look at the expensive car I have" or "I'm a petrol head who has a deep affection for this piece of metal/plastic because I can't form any other type of attachment".
Ladies: watch out for any guy who:
1. falls in love with you within a fortnight and sends you emails all day (even though he is very busy - he just can't get you out of his head), he's playing you.
2. is a doctor with xray vision (clue) who invites you over to watch a video, or loves to use web-cam on MSN.
3. any man who invites you for dinner on the 2nd date (guess who is for dessert?)
4. any man who uses SMS to stay in touch, change or cancel dates, invite you over
5. french accent living in southbank, "spearated" but still married with a family interstate, travels every weekend, very busy man
Posted by: justadvice at August 13, 2007 11:39 PM
Ok i may not be new anymore but here is a tip.
Think of rsvp as a safe hunting ground to find the opposite sex.
Men who are new may have one thought in their mind if it is just a casual fling well good luck to ya cause i doubt lots of woman think like that from lots of profiles i've read.
So advice to new men members dating flings are best served elsewhere cause this is a dating relationship website not a casual rendezvous.
Woman who are new tend to not show a photo.
I can see why but to be honest its a safe hunting ground where the chances of a random person seeing your photo and in real life spotting you in a street without contacting them on rsvp first is very slim.
So for new lady members you should encourage yourselves to think you look beautiful and gorgeous and put a photo out their. Not all men think of woman as just a object.
Nothing better than a lady who has confidence to show herself in a photo no matter what they think they look like.
Final advice to new members.
Don't give up cause you've been unlucky on your first try. Stay in the ball game it just may happen quicker than you think cause new people come on here everyday and may match your expectations
peace.
Posted by: rscthatmaybe at August 13, 2007 8:06 PM
People can put on an act to get what they want. Some are rude, impatient and most of the guys are just looking for one thing.
It takes awhile to really get to know someone talk awhile buy stamps chat and don't give yourself up too soon.
Posted by: Princess at August 13, 2007 7:54 PM
Well tezza, stop shouting is No.1 and No.2 is you cannot tell the difference from the genuine profiles against the exggerated ones on RSVP, or any other dating website for that matter. Profiles with a photo ALWAYS attract more attention than profiles without. Anyway, best of luck.
Posted by: kangeroo2 at August 13, 2007 6:30 PM
I think "nicegirlplease" is being sarcastic?? Have you seen his pics/profile? Hes a regular brad pitt isnt he.
Hi all. First time blogger here and having only been on RSVP a week and read some of the comments here I'm ready to put in my 2c worth of observations.
I've wondered sometimes whether there are women out there on RSVP (or other dating sites for that matter) who are either "inflexible with their criteria" or just plain scared to have a go. I realise that there will have been a number of bad experiences had by many of you ladies but please don't tar us guys all with the same brush. I've sent a number of kisses and had replies of "thanks but not interested", "made contact with another so won't follow up now" and 1 lady who replied "I await your email". I've sent her 2 emails and to date I've yet to see any kind of response so I wonder what the story is there. (I did say "no game players please on my profile)
On the plus side is the lady who sent me a kiss, which has resulted in an email to her, chat here and nice phone conversations with a view to a meeting soon. Which brings me to my "flexibility comment" earlier. This particular lady was actually slightly older & outside the age range I specified but I was in hers, and I took a punt anyway and have since amended the age range in my profile. Anyway it will be interesting to see what happens next but
Posted by: Hitsville50 at August 12, 2007 8:54 PM
nicegirlplease - I'm trying to be helpful because I think your bravado is a coverup for a feeling of inadequacy. Just so you know though, nice girls like humility. If you are as fabulous as you say you are, it would be self evident. Regarding the photo with the caption 'brooding and gorgeous' - the caption is not a good idea, it comes across as vain. All the best.
Could I append an addendum
I just logged on to the same postcode, exactly the same parameters, and did a search.
I immediately logged off and did a fresh search, exactly the same parameters. On the first 2 pages (40 profiles) there was 7 discrepancies (that appeared on an anonymous search but not on the search whilst I was logged on)
I was looking for the obvious one that I had suspicions about its authenticity, only to find a second which was immediately suspicious. Both have patently blocked me and they are fresh profiles today. Boy that was quick!!!!
We having a slow Sunday up there girls. Nothing to do but sit in front of your computer.
But what about the other 5. You all heading down to the local pub or something and having a few beers and the usual raving of "the horrors of internet dating" The other 5 I am not in the least interested in anyway, so get real girls.
What a fascinating way of quickly checking.
Yet another device for the fraud busting brigade.
Posted by: EarlWyoming at August 12, 2007 6:50 PM
Tezza1967 wants to know how to tell genuine profiles from slightly exaggerated ones. The term "slightly exaggerated" is too polite for words. Let's put it this way. There is usually a human being of some sort (and the adjectival "human" is questionable) doing the keyboard typing for some profiles. But that may well be the end of reality. If you have ever been on MySpace you will realise that there must be over 100 million fraudulent profiles on that behometh. They have usually been created to draw in suckers, say to Nigerian scams, mobile phones, or more frequently internet porno sites. Amazingly some of these frauds are now getting away from the adage that "if it looks too good to be true..." A lot of very ordinary photos are being appended to some of these scam profiles, particularly the non-porno ones.
Ask yourself what motivation does a person have for creating a fraudulent profile on an internet dating site. Are they scamming for money or what. Simply if you ever got to the stage of meeting these frauds (and you won't of course) they would be found out. So
Motivation No 1: the scam profiles are created by the internet dating site itself. There is a notorious internet dating site overseas that does just that, in order to extract monetary commitment (that is the only one I have bothered checking as it is all rather tedious). RVSP is a Fairfax subsidiary and if it were caught, the Federal Court would impose whopping fines under the Trade Practices Act greatly in excess of any minor gain to financial balance sheets, so you can rule that one out, so on this site you can safely assume that any fraudulent profile has been created by an individual. That leaves Motivation No 2.
2. Psychological or psychiatric imbalance. You are obviously not going to get a chance to meet, so there must be some sort of sick psychology behind it all. The cost of a stamp is going to RSVP, not to the fraud. I have in the past spent money on stamps only to contact a fraud (several actually), and the next woman I contacted objected strenuously and rather rudely to a casual remark I made in an opening email that I had googled her to check her authenticity (boy, was she rude about that, yet googling is the only realistic way of avoiding the trap of emailing yet another fraud, so get real woman). She immediately took her profile off. Well she was an academic at a local uni, so she hadn't resolved basic issues of why she was on RSVP for in the first place. So lesson learnt- google but don't mention you have done so. You are merely protecting your money.
The frauds on internet dating sites don't gain a financial benefit, so it is a rather prurient pleasure they must gain. Two weeks ago I was recently invited to send an email to a profile that I knew was a fraud (6 photos and all).(I didn't by the way because I knew "she" didn't exist, as her writing style was a dead giveaway; too close to the way she speaks for real). Today another one has suddenly appeared from the same postcode area, It is endless! Too much time on their hands and too little to do.
So a few basic rules.
If they only have one photo, start with the premise that they don't exist. There are millions of photos on the internet these days and they can be drawn from anywhere. It is not too difficult to create a profile with half a dozen photos either. The fraud need only go to another internet dating site across the globe and presto, glorious photos, and seeing some European profiles are total scams, no-one is going to weep missing those photos. Boo hoo.
So be suspicious. If it looks too good to be true, it probably is. And remember, even half a dozen photos will not guarantee that the person exists. If she looks, well, how shall we tacitly put it, warts and all, well you know, they are only too real. There is nothing to be gained by anyone loading a photo that is the best they have, but leaves a lot to be desired.
Another great way of checking is to sit back and watch their behaviour. At some point most real women are going to lose their temper on this site and start cursing some one or something, letting it all hang out in some way. (Does it remind you of the way your last ex/ wife/ partner performed?)
Once they start this, you gain the sinking feeling that you are dealing with yet another human being! And they will exist. All the downside of human emotions do not tend to appear on the fraudulent profiles. They remain perfect in every way. They will not curse, swear, denounce, diatribe, wander off in disgust, only to wander back later for another go..
Now, having digested this elementary lesson in internet dating, are you going to spend money on a stamp to a profile which does not have a single photo? Well at least read the blog on the topic before you do. Buyer beware. But I think you can assume that your average fraud will have at least one photo, as it is so easy to do. Pretending to be shy and withdrawn does not tend to be their psychological style. It has something to do with the psychiatric reasons why they are here in the first place.
Now class, lesson over for the day. Leave your homework books behind for marking.
Posted by: EarlWyoming at August 12, 2007 6:01 PM
Woodnwine. Go and find a life will you. Stop giving everyone advice and keep the psych stuff to yourself. You seem to live on this site. Dont you have a job to do
Posted by: singlelady at August 12, 2007 4:47 PM
Tezza, as they say honesty is the best policy. Ive had ppl tell me what they look like and Ive seen pics on single sites of themselves before meeting, then when they meet they have been different from their pic all together.
Posted by: singlelady at August 12, 2007 12:12 PM
Tezza, be wary that there is married members on this site looking for fun on the side. Stay clear of these ones, they seem to appear now on eveyr singles site from what Ive seen. Sus out ppl on here first before meeting anyone ok.
Posted by: singlelady at August 12, 2007 11:58 AM
Dear Tezza,
the answer to that would be priceless.
Good luck and Good fun!
Posted by: lipstick princess at August 12, 2007 9:07 AM
Isidore,
You obviously are looking for a fairy tale... and i wish you all the luck.... but slim, athletic, average... overweight.. are all dependant on your interpretation.... and well i would interpret average as being size 14-16....
Posted by: blahblahh at August 11, 2007 11:06 PM
Dear woodnwine,
I agree with single lady, one has to be careful... as while you may not be a nutter there are a lot around...i also have a silent landline, and never give it out....will give my mobile out.... but only after a couple of chats... and my msn is also anonomous.....
Easier to stop it from happening than to stop it after it has happenned.....
These precautions are also recommended not only by this site but by the police....
I also never give the exact suburb i am in....
Posted by: blahblahh at August 11, 2007 10:59 PM
Here's a tip Tezza1967, turn off your caps lock - it's considered shouting :) Yes...upload a pic, it'll make even more weird people want to contact you...but until you do, you'll never know :)
Proofreading is a must - nothing worse than a man who cannot distinguish between fine "dinning" and fine "dining"....nothing FINE about that at all...even worse is the "principle" who, if educated and in charge of educating should be able to get Principal correct....
What else...handy hint no.3....and one that seems so hard for many - fill in ALL the gaps....dont be lazy...sell yourself well...however, please leave the Shawshank Redemption out of your favourite movie list - it is impossible than 90% of the male population have watched it and "loved" it so much that it's everyone's favourite...most probably have no idea what that movie is all about....
Okay....enough blogging for one night.....
Posted by: wishfulthinker at August 11, 2007 9:14 PM
when did i ever say I was nice? I am a very bad man. like i could care less about all you haters. i'm not a modest person, i got my stuff together and thats no secret.
Posted by: nicegirlplease at August 11, 2007 8:14 PM
I've been on RSVP and other sites on and off over the years, but must still be naive... what's wrong with giving out a phone number or chatting on MSN early in the piece?
I find it far more revealing to chat in real time than wait patiently for an email that may have had several drafts before the best version is finally sent.
Despite giving out both home and mobile numbers, email addresses and even my home address, I have never been stalked or intimidated by any man I've met online. Good luck or good gut instinct? I don't know...
Posted by: VictoriaDownunder at August 11, 2007 7:49 PM
Wow, some of these blogs have a common theme.
Advice to new RSVPers: Be strong and take a break from RSVP when you encouter a series of bad contacts on the site. I'm sure there a geniune ones here, but you have to sort through some really unpleasant people to find them. Yes, you do meet dishonest people in real life, but there seem to be a concertrated amount of them here. So type up your profile, have a look, meet them for a coffee, ask them questions and make a mental note of their answers, then ask them the same question in a different way another time. This should bring any untruths to the surface when the answers don't match.
I know the above sounds harsh, but you need to look after yourself and trust your gut instinct.
To everyone, stay safe.
Posted by: blissbeyondhell at August 11, 2007 7:39 PM
GIDDAY OUT THERE, I AM BRAND NEW TO THIS AND NEVER HAD TO DO THIS BEFORE, HOW DO YOU TELL THE GENIUNE PROFILES FROM THE SLIGHTY EXAGGERATED ONES? NOT SO SURE ABOUT SENDING KISSES AS I DO NOT HAVE PHOTO UP YET, SHOULD THIS MATTER? CHEERS
Posted by: TEZZA1967 at August 11, 2007 7:15 PM
nicegirlplease, i bet you have a small willy, and you definitely have a very small pea sized brain. The world of RSVP will not be missing ANYTHING when you take your profile down, in fact please do it and save all us gorgeous women from a jerk like you.
Hi Folks
I have been a member on and off for a few years here on RSVP.
The challenge here is to not get jaded with it. I have not met anyone on this site since January (must admit to not making much of an effort however) this year, despite being 'genuinely single' and open to meeting 'the right person' and receiving quite a few kisses along the way.
The issues for me being living in Tasmania, beautiful place, but alas, relatively far fewer opportunities to meet 'available' 'slim' women on RSVP.
Ive lost count of the number of contacts who dont fit anywhere near my criteria and contact me anyway.
So to new members be clear about who you are looking for... and expect to be contacted nevertheless by people who dont take any notice ;) In fact, guys especially, be prepared for women to label themselves as 'slim' who arent and 'athletic' as anything but.
Ive rarely met a 'slim' woman. Its often "I have been injured" or "I used to be slim" or "Its Winter" etc etc I'm never rude, but must admit to thinking 'here we go again..'
Ive spoken to some women here on RSVP and they complain about the same thing...guys pretending they are much fitter and slimmer than they are.
I have given RSVP feedback previously about the labels used to describe a persons body. Athletic is usually about 5% in women and probably a little higher in men.
Seems in my experience too many women refer to themselves as athletic when in fact they are clearly nowhere near that.
So its a misunderstood label.
I think further info re size (eg 8/10 etc)for example may be a little clearer.
I do not use the 'athletic' search feature now due to it being a waste of time re who I am looking for.
Sure its great to be contacted by anyone, and its important to acknowledge a contact by responding.
There is one exception to that rule 'for me'
The people who contact you asking to see your photo and dont send theres at the same time. I dont respond to those contacts as I find them a little too secretive...asking for the very thing they refuse themselves to send.
The age thing seems to be an issue for many of us.
I hear a number of women saying they are put off by men wanting younger women...or at least being open to meeting younger women.
Many men...not all, but many are looking for women who havent had kids and forgotten about themselves in the process.
Seems a hell of a lot of women ive met around my age and younger have really let themselves go and unfortunately then point the fingers at the guys and say why do you want younger women?
People who look after themselves usually want similar. I'm open to all ages, but must admit to the fact that many women around my age are 'children focused' and have given up on looking after themselves 'years ago'
Their lives are either focused on the kids they have now, or the ones they want in their late 30's early 40's
For many men its a daunting prospect....particularly those guys, like myself who dont have or want children and want a partner who keeps fit and healthy.
Whilst I havent given up, experience on RSVP has demonstrated to me that too many women ive met have stretched the truth about the very things that 'are important to me' and as a result ive met them only to be disappointed.
In the initial stages its 'great' Meet a few people, have a coffee, maybe some dinner....but after a while it gets a bit ho hum and 'here we go again'
So folks, if you are looking for Mr/Miss 'average' you will find someone. Plenty of men and women fall into this category. If you are looking for slim, be prepared to be disappointed.
So folks please think before putting your info on the profile. You will save yourself and others time and will be 'demonstrating' being authentic in the process :)
And me? Well im fit 42, some might say 'athletic'.
For the record I label myself as slim as I consider athletic to be VERY fit.
Gets down to values.
Posted by: Isidore at August 11, 2007 7:05 PM
Singlelady
Do you actually realise that everything you say on these blogs is negative in some way? Don't read or watch The Secret if you think it is rubbish, but please try to be more positive and give life a chance. Everything you do, including your silent numbers, is based around expecting the worst, so is it any wonder you often get the worst (or think you do)?
I don't know you and I am probably just another dumb male but I do know that you need to try and be more positive. Why would you block me and many others? I don't get that, I have never tried to contact you so what is it you are blocking other than your mind? I am trying to be nice here so please take what I am saying the right way. Be the change you want to see in others.
Posted by: woodnwine at August 11, 2007 6:45 PM
Someone hasn't logged on for months?
Reason: You've been a member for ages, you have received sooooo many useless kisses from guys who feel better when they send useless kisses and you are tired of sending so many polite refusals. Options are limited - stop replying, which goes against a well-mannered girl's upbringing, or stop logging on so your profile doesn't hit the top of the search (useless kissers get bored easily and don't work through to the bottom of the list.)
Now perhaps this is the same for men too. Are there random kissing women out there? I don't think so because the power trip is different.
So, if you see someone you like who is lying low, go for it. Send a kiss.
Posted by: Experienced2 at August 11, 2007 6:40 PM
too many choices means most are always looking that one better. one thing that doesnt exist people is perfection. no matter how hard you look you'll never find it. girl at least have the courtesy to reply when a kiss has been sent to you. you need t be thick skinned people on this site
Posted by: cjs at August 11, 2007 5:53 PM
Earl Wyoming, loved your comments. Kind of cynical, but more than a grain of truth!!
Posted by: mazdagal at August 11, 2007 5:05 PM
What is wrong with mid-30s blokes putting 20-32 for their search range? Think they are kidding themselves that a spring chicken might be interested? And I'm 36!
Posted by: jammysod at August 11, 2007 4:26 PM
I'm new to this game but I can tell you my two top tips after a week:
1. Guys, get real about the age issue - I am put off by men in their mid-30s whose ideal partner is between 20-32. This lack of reality has put me off a number of guys who've sent me a kiss, and I'm 34.
2. Learn to spell.
I have no idea what lol is and two guys I chose to correspond with wanted me to go on msn off site straight away. I have no idea who is genuine and who is dodgy. I have read some of the blog above and appreciate the pointers, esp that in the first year you go on and off etc, I've taken myself off after this short time but have already logged back to read the advice sections!
Posted by: hellohel at August 11, 2007 3:53 PM
Hi all, first time blogger, have had a great time reading your comments. thanks for the tips although this is my third time with a profile up.
Its true you start to get jaded with hearing the same blah blah blah and spending a fortune on stamps and coffee to meet up with people who are nothing like their representation on profile, email or phone. However, I figured that you just dont meet many people in your lounge room so I would give it a go again. Dont get me wrong I have made a couple of wonderful friends.
Just a word of advice to the guys: if you say "kids aren't a problem, I love kids" please be sure you really mean it, expecially if you dont have or have never lived in a home with kids 24/7, kid households fluctuate from one day to the next and sometimes when their hormones get running it can be absolute chaos.
cheers to all jay
Posted by: givingluvachance at August 11, 2007 3:03 PM
Ph numbers been giving out. This is where I dont have an issue with anyone seeing my numbers as both my mobile and home number are silent numbers. If i chat to anyone, Ill give them only the mobile number or msn messenger address. I never give out home number till I havent known the person for quite a while.
So ladies, it doesnt hurt to pay a few dollars extra to have silent numbers.
Posted by: singlelady38 at August 11, 2007 8:34 AM
Sorry woodnwine, not interested in taking your advice. Secret is alot of crap from what Ive been told by ppl at work. I wont be emailing you as u are on my block list and this is now growing. What I hate about this site is that when you recieve a kiss from a member saying that they are interested in getting to know you. I think great, Ill send an email back and now I get a reply saying thanks but no thanks and they go and hide their profile. Stop playing mind games with us females on this site Guys. Its getting beyond a joke. Just send ppl a kiss reply back saying thanks but no thanks.
Posted by: singlelady at August 10, 2007 5:57 PM
Nicegirlsplease -
'Like attracts like'. I'm not surprised you are not attracting nice girls, any nice girl would be scared off as soon as she read your profile. You just don't come across as a nice boy. You could try toning down your attitude and ego a bit, that might work.
Posted by: Anonymous at August 10, 2007 5:06 PM
Make this your moto!:
"if you don't like what you're catching, try changing the bait :)"
For all of the newbies, just read the first post here by Riversong1.
Just press "Ctrl+f" and put in 'riversong' to find it on the page, otherwise it's hopeless.))
Posted by: CherryDream at August 10, 2007 11:27 AM
I just discovered the blogs on this site; it's a great addition.
My advice to men is:
* In your profile, be positive but don't brag. The "wanker" sign will light up for a woman.
* If looks and honesty are important to you, steer clear of women who post studio shots. They inevitably look not even remotely similar to the photo.
* Take descriptions of their appearance with a grain of salt. I met a woman who described her body type as "Average". She was quite a nice person, and after we chatted for a while, she revealed that her dress size is 24.
On another occasion, I met a woman who had understated her age by at least 15 years and overstated her height by about five inches. I wondered if she thought that her scintillating personality would override any feelings of disappointment and deception that I was experiencing.
For me, speaking on the phone is preferable second-phase communication to continually emailing, but if you're concerned about calling after being given a phone number, press "1832" before their number and your number won't appear on their screen. If in doubt, phone your mobile from your land line.
Finally, don't have an emotional attachment to finding your life partner. Have fun meeting people and the right one will show up at the right time.
Cheers,
Laertes1958
Posted by: Laertes1958 at August 10, 2007 10:47 AM
enigmaticcreator. Love ur blog.
i agree wholeheartedly -Meeting the meatheads, makes you appreciate the classy ones.
Cheers and Have a great weekend everyone.
Posted by: lipstick princess at August 10, 2007 9:36 AM
singlelady
Can I politely suggest that you try to remain positive as a negative tone can not only come through to the other person but also start to rule your own thoughts. Have you heard of the book or DVD called The Secret? I would suggest that you read or watch it as it promotes the power of positive thought and creative visualisation. Personally, I have found that remaining positive even at the worst of times, can be a great benefit and enables you to float over most problems without letting them cause too much damage to your well being. Feel free to email me if you like and try to keep smiling.
Posted by: woodnwine at August 10, 2007 8:36 AM
My advice to new members is to be fully aware that RSVP is a parallel universe.
You should address the fundamental question not of "when will I emerge" but "will I ever emerge" from this twilight zone. You will be trapped forever 'neath the streets of Boston, your the woman who never returned. Now who sang that?
During your first year, you will be judgmental, may be quick tempered, will have your profile on and off like a yo yo at every minor slight, real or imagined, you will show a photo, then password protect it, change your preferences like you change your bedsheets; the behavioural ramifications are endless. You will curse and swear off it for life, only to be back on some months later. But you have to realise that you are merely emulating everyone's else's behaviour anyway
Why will you be doing all this? Because RSVP is an addiction no different from all the other drugs you put into your system.
Nominally you are there for that romantic ending, wedding bells et al. Keep mouthing the official line. Realistically you probably will never have had so much fun in your life, but ONLY after you have learnt how to work the system to your personal advantage, and not before.
Posted by: EarlWyoming at August 10, 2007 8:02 AM
OK bloggers, I need some advice. I have been on and off (mostly off) this site for a year and have had over 300 kisses but only 12 dates. Most men who kiss me don't match my profile at all. Tips please!!
Posted by: sue4you at August 9, 2007 11:33 PM
My advice: don't bother. all the chicks are either nasty throwbacks, complete skanks or have kids.
my profiles comin down soon.
i'll stick to meeting chicks in clubs or social gatherings, sure i have gotta wade through the heaving masses of loose ones, but at least there's a chance I'll find some special hottie that wants me for more than just my humour, good looks, money and sexual prowess.
Posted by: nicegirlplease at August 9, 2007 8:49 PM
Well...one main thing is to trust your gut feeling... from emails, then dial the number... if the phone conversation only last 5 minutes or so.. do you really want to meet this person? You really can grab a bullshitter from 5 minutes conversation. If you finally decide to meet up, be positive even if they turned out to be totally unatractive inside out... Just make sure you have someone out there who will be able to get you out of that date.
Posted by: orientalsweetheart at August 9, 2007 8:35 PM
I am new to this site and i have noticed that quite a few profile owners have not logged on for over 3 months, does this mean they are "gone"? I want to contact some of these people but am not sure when they will be back? Are they gone because they've found someone or are they just taking a break? Thanks
New to RSVP
I haven't used this site before but I have used other dating sites that cater to people in the states. All of the advice that has been given is good advice. You are going to have fun dates, horrible dates, and more than likely, a date that makes you stay up late at night waiting for more.
Above all, be careful. There are plenty of people out there that can talk a good game but are full of it. If someone takes the time to write you a sincere e-mail, be courteous enough to 1]write them back or 2]say no thanks in a polite way.
Recognize that for every guy [or girl] that is a meat head and can't hold a conversation, there is someone intelligent and attractive that you just haven't come across yet :)
Posted by: enigmaticcreator at August 9, 2007 6:27 AM
don't wear a akubra in your main photo!!
Look at my profile and you'll know what I mean!
Posted by: leebo2u at August 8, 2007 11:14 PM
Meet in a public place on the first date. Never meet at your home. I thought this would be ok to have someone meet me at my house once as I couldnt get a sitter that night. How wrong was I. After chatting to him for a while over coffee, he decided he had some other ideas and try and get me to into the bedroom for some fun times.
Unfortunately for him, he wasnt so lucky as he was quickly shown the door and told, sorry not interested, go and visit someone else for his quickie.
Posted by: singlelady at August 8, 2007 10:39 PM
Well woodnwine, surprise suprise. Im not a young single mum. Im a 38 yrs old and a mum to a 14 yr old.
Just to let you know its also the same with single dads who also find it hard to meet a woman who will also accept their kids.
Posted by: singlelady at August 8, 2007 10:30 PM
Woodwine. Well Ive never been accepted on here or other dating sites. Im not young, Im 38 yrs old and have been a single parent for 14 yrs now. Raising my kid alone and working full time for the last 19 yrs and independant.
Posted by: singlelady at August 8, 2007 6:48 PM
I am a new member, joined nearly two weeks ago and already met someone who sent me a nasty email after I met them and decided not to see them again. I am now invisable for a while. My question is what does lol mean? I see it a lot - thought maybe laugh out loud or lots of love or lots of laughter, but they don't always fit. Thanks.
Posted by: Raphael62 at August 8, 2007 6:05 PM
singlelady Aug6 - your comment about children really surprised me! Maybe you are very young because most of the women on RSVP have children and are accepted as they are.
Posted by: woodnwine at August 7, 2007 9:32 AM
What I have found now for the 2nd time Ive joined this site, is that being a single parent of a 1 child. Im finding that ppl cant accept you for who you are these days in todays society.
Posted by: singlelady at August 6, 2007 10:39 PM
the two things l would advise for new members
1. when writing about yourself ie; interests, music tastes etc put some information and effort there!!
2. when you send someone a kiss please read their profile thoroughly to maybe avoid the thanks but no thanks reply.
My thinking is its a market and everyone is shopping. Bare bones l know but down to the nitty gritty
Posted by: auntykaz at August 5, 2007 8:25 PM
Be cautious and chat to ppl on line first before meeting in person. This way you can get to know who you are chatting to in the safest way possible.
Posted by: singlelady38 at August 5, 2007 7:46 PM
I was introduced to this site some years back by a guy who worked out that ... while I was a great friend and interim woman .. I was not to be his next wife .. he found her on here .. and she looked an awful lot like his Ex, but last I heard they are still happily together. I also put another male friend on to this site last year who (funnily enough) also found a lady much like his dear departed wife and they married this year after a short courtship. They too seem to be happy!
I have met guys from here Good and bad. Some have been a quick coffee meet, some a few exchanged emails, some a relationship of a few months. It leaves me wondering sometimes .."Is it me ?? Or ??" Most of the men I met tho' have remained my friends.
Like BLUEBYU1 I get tired of being a mere friend and confidant tho' and wish that the right person would appear and stay! Life's a beach sometimes!
Posted by: Naiad18 at August 5, 2007 11:17 AM
thanks for your support cinnabar, I'm hanging in there with anticipation, in fact, I'm champing at the bit!
Nice to see us oldies (I hope you don't mind being an oldie, just for the moment)unite...which reminds me of the funniest bumper sticker I ever saw...dyslexics of the world untie. Even funnier than my 1970's bumper stick, women need a man like a fish needs a bicycle. My, how views can change over a few decades!
Posted by: TishB at August 4, 2007 7:54 PM
Look guys, this site is just like anywhere else... theres people whose behavior is other than honest and fulll of integrity... and there are some genuine people. The same as in the local bar or anywhere else. Its "buyer beware" unfortunately - just like everywhere else. I like to think that amongst all of this there are still some genuine people looking for other genuine people. Please do not give up! To give up is to give up on life!
Posted by: JohnRC46 at August 3, 2007 10:00 PM
well said TishB - give me the icing any time!! friends, i have plenty, great friends, enough,....but that special someone.....still searching and being one who turns fifty in a few months, I still live in hope! Turning 40 was fantastic, turning 50 doesn't scare me a bit! (Lots of fun was had between decades!!) I get asked out often enough, even being overweight and close to half a century so a gorgeous gal like you will have no probs! keeping positive and friendly is half the battle against the numbers game....and fifty is the new forty, so forty must be the new thirty.....!! and how much fun did I have then??!!
Posted by: cinnabar at August 3, 2007 7:37 PM
I have to admit that there have been some unsavoury experiences through RSVP however, if you listen to what you feel instead of the anxiety of meeting a stranger - we can all sense what ppl will offer.
I am just over 40 (sh don't tell anyone) and still catch the odd eye in the city and feel that your self belief and confidence is all that matters.
If you are honest with yourself your already ahead.
Life is short - so make it sweet - just be safe!
Posted by: sassnbubbly at August 2, 2007 11:42 PM
I am a newbie to the site and have found the responses to this blog quite interesting.
I found I was receiving a lot of kisses early on, but that has dropped off now. I have barely sent any out myself (I think four over the two weeks I've been here). Two replied with "I have recently responded to someone else", which I took to mean as a polite way of saying "I'm not interested in you."
However, since I first arrived at the site I've establish emailed contact with six girls, all of whom seem really nice and the sort of people I could have a relationship with. But six regular email conversations is a hard thing to sustain (I do have a life of my own!) so I've found myself now sending out kiss replies saying "Have recently responded to someone else" even if the person who has sent me a kiss seems like my type.
So, my question is, do you think people who send the "have responded to someone else" kiss replies actually mean it, usually? Or do people just take that as a (polite) rejection?
Should I put a note on my profile saying that I have reached the limit of the amount of contact I can cope with for the moment? (Even if it means the girl of my dreams might decide not to send me a kiss as a result?) Or should I just move all my email conversations off-site and pull my profile down for a while?
Posted by: Confusedandsurprised at August 2, 2007 11:09 PM
12 Months ago I was fortunate to meet a wonderful lady on RSVP, and we are still going strong. She had lied about her age, looked totally different than her picture, and all for no reason, I fell for her regardless, so a few pointers for the ladies from the male point of view.
1) Dont lie to us in your discription,
2) Never mention art house movies, just say you like movies with naughty bits, we can relate to that.
3) Dont be too specific in the qualities that you are looking for, at least give us a chance.
4) Talk to us on the phone asap, you will learn about us a lot faster and will be able to spot the bullshitters easier.
And finally, not all men are sleazy and after one thing, we always appreciate it if you can cook as well.... only joking. And as for my lovely girlfriend and I, its early days, but its looking good.
Posted by: Raynard66 at August 2, 2007 10:59 PM
Muso
How sad that you feel that way. I for one am positive that I am going to meet someone special and I am over 50. Remember, different attitudes can produce different results from the same situation.
Posted by: woodnwine at August 2, 2007 10:26 PM
BrewOne you had me in stitches with your post on August 1. Spent 2 years in the army in Singapore in the mid 80's. I actuall turned around to see if there was a little chinese girl behind me.
Posted by: iamhomerclees at August 2, 2007 9:07 PM
Oh dear, muso, is that really how you feel? I may as well toss in the towel now then. Except I don't feel like giving up, and I hope you don't either. Friends are great, but that special someone is the icing on the cake. 40 is so young, isn't that when life begins?
Posted by: TishB at August 2, 2007 9:05 PM
The vast majority of over 40's are not going to find a lasting relationship here, or for that matter, elsewhere!
So why bring a shopping list when you only have coin for 'bread and milk'.
Why not reduce the size of the 'want list' and shop for friends instead?
Bluebyeu, hang in there! U'r cool too!
Posted by: muso at August 2, 2007 9:33 AM
My friend recomend to me. He meet his current boyfriend here so I try my luck too. I want to luv u longtime soldierboy.
Posted by: BrewOne at August 1, 2007 8:57 PM
To july 30
Six years ago I met a lovely man on rsvp who met me without a photo, wasn't scared of older women and accepted that I had fibbed a little about my age and wasn't natural blonde.
He was my best friend, lover and every other cliche you can use for the ideal relationship. We never moved into together, but shared houses every weekend and usually caught up for dinner after work midweek. Sadly it ended when he got a terminal illness, but they were the happiest years of my life.
Unfortunately there are now fewer people willing to take a risk to meet someone and everyone seems to have such restricted ideas of what they will accept that I doubt they will ever meet anybody. Or else they are out for a quick fling and will meet anybody for a one night stand.
My impression is that the ones worth having disappear off the site very quickly and the rest are on there forever. So my advice would be to snap up the newbies and avoid the ones who just never seem to shift.
Thank you all for your thoughts. Seems the majority thinks as I do.
My weekend task is to address this matter with man in question.
Mmmmmmm.
Posted by: lipstick princess at August 1, 2007 9:32 AM
I went to a wedding the other week where the couple had met on RSVP. Married after going out for a year. Neither of them had been married before.
Posted by: sue4you at July 31, 2007 7:50 PM
Well, I've heard on the grapevine there's a marriage this weekend in QLD between an older man and an older woman who met on rsvp! I won't name names, but I do know someone who is to attend the wedding, so I can only assume it's real.
Hang in there, not everyone's a game player, it seems.
Posted by: TishB at July 31, 2007 7:43 PM
Be positive and honest in your profile. Always stay safe with your contact. Expect the knobs but don't let them get you down (laugh...it really is funny!). But most importantly, protect your heart.
Posted by: nkp73 at July 31, 2007 7:03 PM
Hi Riversong1 i do enjoy your posts an humour, woman in my life, an there are many have all those traits above, the main reason I have way more woman friends than males, well its been women once Id gained there Trust an Respect who have been the most loyal friends,an sooo.. protective... but utterly hopeless at helping me find romance LOL grrrrr!..sick of been the older brother / reliable shoulder syndrome, but wouldnt change that position for the world..got so upset because they werent listening told them all to bugger off ,be it for a short while LOL, so many phone calls later from husbands an boy friends whats up(explained) Aww is that all. well you can bugger off too LOL, 3 long term relationships from 16 to 43 never prepared me for single life, the long slow death of both letting go, an good character to still maintain a loving friendship. So yes I can identify. I may get aww this guy is a self promoting player, ..so be it, guess just about every blog on hair( lol)Profile an posts have some forum of self promoting...SO what, ive grown thicker skin of late, an wont feel a need to buy into others negative, been burnt,cant trust still dying attitude, theres a huge risk for all just walking in the park today, at least here you risk nothing but the chance you take! V
Posted by: BLUEBYEU1 at July 31, 2007 2:26 PM
I have to agree with chad1958 and monkey28 - I think that people should be at least honest about their weight/or at least wake up to reality.
Sounds cruel I know, and I can imagine the furore my comments might spark...
Though, I can say with conviction that I was an overweight child/teenager - and as I grew into a young adult, I took some steps to shed the excess weight that was hiding the real me. How did I do it? By watching what I eat, and good old-fashioned exercise.
Because I make the time to keep myself in shape (pls note, I am "not" saying perfect here); I also expect that my supposed ideal partner would also do the same.
Is that really expecting too much?
Also - for myself, I am a stickler for spelling and grammar, and I must admit (this may be perceived as being shallow) (expected furore anticipated) that on most profiles I view, I anticipate correct spelling, and find it surprising when I don't encounter it.
But I guess - in reality - we ARE all different, and we all have different views/likes/dislikes - which makes the journey through life so rich and interesting. (Obviously a famous quote, I am unable to recall the author's name, hope I don't get sued by the publishing company for plagiarism!) Lol!
Posted by: ascorpiorising2 at July 31, 2007 10:40 AM
Hhhmmm.. anon July 30: Nup - don't ACTUALLY know anyone, though know plenty of horror stories!!
I think perhaps games rule here :)
Enough for me!
Back to RL :)
Posted by: Riversong1 at July 30, 2007 11:37 PM
Well newcomers to RSVP,my advice to you is this ,disregard the ill mannerd people who do not reply to your kiss, even though it is free to do so,and beware of the 'new member stalkers'there seems to be a tag team that hone in on new members, they kiss and run.Yes Iam sorry to say it is a game for most, although Iam sure there are a few who really do want to meet someone,even though the criteria may be a bit high. Good Luck All think I might retire from the game!
Posted by: irishgirl23 at July 30, 2007 9:05 PM
Ummm, does anyone ACTUALLY know anyone (or have they themselves - although I expect not since you are here now) who has met someone and it has turned into a serious, long-term relationship?? Or is everyone just here for the game?
Chad1958 - nothing wrong with carpenters, we need more of them.
Mokey28 - obviously you felt that you had been misled and that is understandable but there is probably no need to be so rude. Just move on but remember if you had enough in common to meet maybe she could have made a good friend and you might have missed out on that opportunity through your attitude.
Georgef76 - haven't seen your profile but you definitely have to send out a lot of kisses before you get a reply. Simple laws of attraction I guess - I hope God (who ever or whatever he or she may be) isn't laughing too loudly at us, certainly has a dry sense of humour.
Posted by: woodnwine at July 30, 2007 3:24 PM
I have now come to the conclusion that the best thing about RSVP is reading the blogs :) No longer do I log in every morning anticipating with bated breath of what kisses I have received - no I now log in twice a day to read the blogs. Oh well at least I'm happy.
Posted by: sortofanangel at July 30, 2007 11:56 AM
Chad, I'm sure that as a carpenter you are not dumb (not that I'd put that title on you or anyone).. or you would never have learned your trade .. As you said yourself .. Monkey28 could have been more diplomatic. I too make spelling errors from time to time .. I merely took exception to Monkey setting himself up as requiring nothing but the best when he clearly has his own areas needing improvement! We can all nit pick .. just as I have also enjoyed some positive feedback in these blogs .. but some things are not worth getting upset about !! This Blogg is all about advice to members after all .. and yes .. I'm more impressed by someone who takes the time to read and correct/spellcheck what they write before they post it!!
Posted by: Naiad18 at July 30, 2007 11:54 AM
Rippernlongwon, an Riversong1
thank you, if you could bear with my spelling a bit , yes i have appreciated positive comments on this site from woman an males, insight indeed, however my biggest mistake was taking for granted that most people on this site werent judgemental and would natrually take honesty on face value I can tell you now that this will be my last post, education was a terrible exsperince for me as others may have found, in 1967 when i entered school I wasnt aware that I had a hearing impairment, purfirated ear drums,which got worse over time not been able to hear and been hypo active was a lethal combination,any chances of understanding anything went out the window an sitting still for hours on end frustating, envious of tecnology today, until the age of 15 when i stopped growing an they could operate, the abuse suffered is a part im not willing to share as it holds no value . Apart from Art and sport were I really excelled(sorry trying to sound the word) school an education was a nightmare an by 12 as you could imagine id had enough, so Whats my point! 30 yrs later brought my first computer, and with friends an familys encouragement discovered the internet, unfortunately the same issues have risen while on line an too a small extent on posts. , but ive had my integity and honesty questioned once on this site , for me once was enough,
personally I have attacked no one, only an idea or an agenda ! there are far more educated an many more intelligent people out there who are way more qualified than me but I loathe negativty, an humour couldnt save the day! So thank you, take care an farewell ..V.
Posted by: BLUEBYEU1 at July 30, 2007 12:29 AM
hi everyone im new to this but find it very interesting we are all different and have different things that attract us. i work hard and like a few beers after work and is clear in my profile but a lot of women dont like this thats fine. monkey28 could have been a bit more diplomatic but i have to agree women and men for that matter shouldnt tell fibs on their profiles.actually ive been told im too honest for my own good so be it but been advised by some veteran mates rsvp that is. anyway bye and naiad18 if ive made any spelling mistakes put it down to being a dumb carpenter
Posted by: chad1958 at July 29, 2007 6:05 PM
In response to Monkey28..(i met this girl witch said on her profile average weight but when i met her she was massive !! wot a turn off my profile says average not tanks
Posted by: mokey28 at July 25, 2007 3:46 PM )
I can only say that poor girl had a lucky break that you were only into the superficial .. You obviously would not be the kind to get to know anyone via a few well written emails and long inelligent conversations on the phone or bother finding out if the person inside was worth getting to know. Sadly I would not bother getting to know a person who was not able...or too lazy to put together a few intelligible word(does no one know how to use Spell check?) So I suppose that is my surperficial side. I'm more concerned with getting to know the mind then the heart and soul of someone .. regardless of their size!!
Posted by: Naiad18 at July 28, 2007 11:47 AM
BLUEBYEU1, not all women are shy and reserved, but it doesn't mean we are not well mannered :) Glad our posts are giving you an insight - it's a pleasure to share with someone who appreciates.
Posted by: Riversong1 at July 26, 2007 9:31 PM
OMG. I've got as far as making a profile that's hidden, and after reading all this I think I'll stay home in front of the telly too. Have to admit I only look at profiles with a photo out there. And I was there thinking I could tell by the photo and what they wrote! What is it with these men and their fish??
Posted by: travelbug50 at July 26, 2007 3:45 PM
anonymous July 25, I just have to ask... why you are looking at rsvp blogs at 5 in the morning if you are in a long term happy relationship?
Also has anyone else noticed that the publishing of the blogs is taking longer and longer and the replies don't make sense anymore because the original blog is too far back.
Isn't there any way that customer support can speed up the process.
Posted by: whatsgoingon at July 25, 2007 8:37 PM
The good thing about RSVP blogs for me, apart from posting humour, is i have been given an insight into what woman think on RSVP,
Generally woman who you may not know very well or are introducing themselves are reserved, quite, shy an well mannered, an wouldnt share any concerns 1st up like the posts on here~!
Regardless of the good or bad comments THANKS :)
Posted by: BLUEBYEU1 at July 25, 2007 7:45 PM
i met this girl witch said on her profile average weight but when i met her she was massive !! wot a turn off my profile says average not tanks
Posted by: mokey28 at July 25, 2007 3:46 PM
I have now sent over 120 kisses & still nothing positive. I would have thought at least a few would have sent a positive reply. Especially the ones in the local area. Not sure what to do now, as it's no use to buy stamps and hope they reply back. The photo that have is good so don't know whats up?It's not like i don't look good as girls have found me ok. How is every body else going with there searching?
Posted by: georgef76 at July 25, 2007 3:32 PM
I was only on rsvp a couple of weeks when I managed to luck out and find my guy first up :) We've been going out for almost a year now and I'm so totally glad of the day I decided to try Internet dating out. From my brief experience, this is the advice I can give:
1. Think about who you are and what you want in someone else and try to show that accurately in your profile. Seems obvious but it's no use say a shy person making out they're more outgoing than they really are, just because they think that's what others will go for. Does the shy person really want to party all night? That being said, don't write any negative stuff about yourself. Everyone's got skeletons in the closet and everyone can deal with most of them, but no one's attracted to them initially! So cliche, but sell yourself and be honest!
2. Look at the photos and read the profiles of all the potentials but remember people aren't always what they seem to be. And that can be in a GOOD way as well as bad way. My boyfriend sounded like an outgoing partier and, me being more reserved, was totally not what I was going for. Turns out he likes doing fun things too but is more private like me. Perfect!
3. You don't want to come on strong like a bulldozer, but standing back only makes you another anonymous body in a huge crowd. Where every other guy was playing pingpong emails, my boyfriend kept popping his chat boxes up on the screen, totally ruining any chance those other guys had! Originality wins!
4. Be careful on your first date, but not TOO careful. Fair enough, you don't want to be groped or worse by someone you don't know, but who's gonna be attracted to Michellan Woman with her 20 armed samauri's aiming their pointy swords at your throat! A public place and a planned escape route should suffice :)
Not sure hereforu2 - negativity (even a hint) usually snowballs.
But now here's a thought - maybe the "Top 100" thing should be rated by top scoring people responding to all kisses and emails!
Posted by: Riversong1 at July 24, 2007 6:39 PM
Dear Anon, I love your phrase "a side of octopus"... either I've only met true gentlemen so far or I'm not their cup of tea as I haven't had that problem - yet!!!
Posted by: VictoriaDownunder at July 24, 2007 3:57 PM
Hello to all you beautiful caring loving honest people, sorry wrong site, haha Just taking the p...! I am new and well this wasn't here last time i was on RSvp but hey what a way to actually see what people are like behind the charade of the profile page, mmmmm. What is my message?? Chill people take a step back we are not playing for sheepstations, Love thy nieghbour and all that, laughing sorry i don't see what all the fuss is about i have had several great relationships from here and it is true you can not judge a book by its cover. All we want is friendship sorry all i want is friendship!! Honesty and a bit of loving, hahaha Who would of thought life could get so clinical. I wish you all happiness and health, (Honestly, I never lie) xx
Posted by: Manandagirl at July 24, 2007 11:28 AM
vic downunder.. nope to me a dvd means just that, unless we both feel comfortable and want more, having said that i usually wait for the girl to make the first move.
Loving these blogs & just a reminder of how IMPORTANT it is for us women to protect each other & warn each other.
Its free to POST pictures & comments of these men who are lying, cheating & playing with the women on this site.
POST THEM ON - www.dontdatehimgirl.com
Posted by: starrynights at July 24, 2007 12:31 AM
Hey Riversong1,
Maybe we should start naming the people who send a reply that they are waiting for your email, then don't bother to reply.
And to VictoriaDownunder, Don't worry, you probably won't get invited for a home cooked dinner as I said above, you have to get a reply first.
Posted by: hereforu2 at July 23, 2007 9:41 PM
VictoriaDownunder,
I think they do expect you to be there for breakfast as well. I, too, began rsvping very naively. I thought dinner at home was just that. But no it is usually served with a side of octopus.
Who would have thought all these blokes would be expecting such things at their age.
Read the blogs and the answer is, a lot.
Recently I had a man I had dated once asking for a DVD at home at my place. He said I'd have to decide sooner or later and sooner worked weel for him. I said I didn't have DVD on the second date and he did a total backstep pretending he meant no such thing. He soooo did......
watzername at July 18, 2007 11:35 AM... 10. She knows that when you invite her over for a homemade meal or to watch a movie, it's code for "wear something black and lacy and breakfast is on me".
Have I been living under a rock or is that what most men really think??? Maybe I should add "naive" to profile description... :-)
Posted by: VictoriaDownunder at July 23, 2007 5:13 PM
just looking for someome to chat with
Posted by: allan23 at July 23, 2007 4:36 PM
Dear Middlechild,
In relation to your comments made on 22 July... I couldn't agree more! Why is it that many people here seem to think that they owe nothing to a stranger... that's a cop out and an excuse for bad behaviour. We all know the consequences bad manners and lack of courtesy with our friends, family work collegues, business associates etc can sometimes have. We are all accountable and everything we do is a reflection of who we are as people. I will never loose sight of that! A few people here need a realtity check.
Posted by: shesallthat at July 23, 2007 4:21 PM
If they seem too good to be true, then they probably are. If you get overseas contacts, and you think you are being scammed, check out the scam sites. Try stopscammers.com
Posted by: mgbee at July 23, 2007 3:09 PM
Hereforu2, everything you say, I completely agree - it's ditto in reverse! Yes we HAVE checked the price of stamps, and probably wasted just as many (if not more) than you too!
Posted by: Riversong1 at July 22, 2007 11:49 PM
Thanks, Im glad Im not just overreacting. Lets just hope that that the dishonest people on here for a confidence boost might take themselves elsewhere and go to a bar and get people to buy them drinks and when they finish it leave them standing there 8 dollars short!
And that is my story and that is the end. Good night
Posted by: corneyusernameguy at July 22, 2007 9:14 PM
Treat everyone you meet with kindness, respect, interest and enthusiasm. Expect the same in return.
Show all of the same courtesies to those people you meet on RSVP as you would to your boss, colleagues, clients, friends, or social contacts.
If someone buys you dinner, always call or email within 24 hours to say thanks. Without exception.
middlechild
Posted by: middlechild at July 22, 2007 3:19 PM
I agree with corneyusernameguy, even at our age there are a lot of women that wait for your email, when you send it there is no reply. I believe they are taking a big ego trip on here and it costs them nothing. I wonder if any of them have actually checked the price of stamps.
Posted by: hereforu2 at July 21, 2007 1:02 AM
Hey watzername, would like to put all those things into practice if only they would stop cancelling the dates.
Posted by: Hereforu2 at July 21, 2007 12:50 AM
Helen - couldn't agree with you more!
Yes it is interesting how the same old faces keep appearing - even the same photos -year, after year, after year lol. I have been on and off this site now for about 2 years now and there are people still on here from before (not all the time as I thought I had met Mr Right for me). Do they ever meet anyone and take their profiles off?
I think you are right if they keep appearing on this site - how available are they, are they really like their profiles suggest and can they offer you what you want too? Probably not lol.
Posted by: Karen at July 21, 2007 12:04 AM
Corneyusername - toatally agree - ditto vice verca too - I've wasted at least 3 stamps that way.
And if you post an old pic and lie about everything - you think the person eventually meeting you won't notice?? Haha ha - what a waste of everyone's time!
A bit more HONESTY and POLITENESS on the site would go a long way....
Posted by: Riversong1 at July 20, 2007 11:18 PM
im new so new, but i do have a choice as others do,an try not to be negative, LOL, but some of the comments, WOW so base.........so im off to the sunshine an beach, might print these blogs out, put them in a bottle an let them float away!! thing is someone might find them an commit suicide! .... LOL alot!!!!
Posted by: BLUEBYEU1 at July 20, 2007 11:06 PM
As with many other bloggers, I have only been with RSVP for a couple of months. Have done what is suggested and changed my profile , kissed some frogs and been out with 2 men - one was true to his profile, kind, sweet and interesting, but disappeared when I had to genuinely cancel a meeting because I was sick - cancelled 10 hours before the scheduled meeting, I might add? Was this wrong, or should I have coughed, spluttered and shivered through a meal that I had offered to cook?
The other, after a hectic weekend of meetings and a week of phone calls invited himself to a party at my house. I told him that he was very welcome. The very meaning of the word 'party', however, precludes exclusivity and intimacy, but here's the rub - not enough attention to Mr Precious, no invitation to stay the night, my time shared with the other guests - no more phone calls.
Both of these gentlemen had their profiles back on RSVP the day after these occasions.
My conclusion is - Cyber meeting offers endless possibilities, but be prepared for jaded, cynical, self-absorbed respondents. That is sad! Let's all remember, we're all feeling, real, and wonderful people - not just words on a computer.
And some of us REALLY say what we MEAN.!
corneyusenameguy,
What you are basically saying is that if you buy a girl a drink at the pub then they MUST sleep with you that night. I think you are being unrealstic. You sound very angry and not understanding. If you think outside the square i believe you will have better luck. If i were a girl, i would not want you.
We all have to accept the fact that there are liars and players in this world. And how well we do in life really depends on how well we deal with liars and players and make the best of a situation isn't it?
And wny should you mull over those for whatever reason changed their mind and are not interested in you?
Things are never straight forward in life. Accept that.
Any fellow bloggers agree with me?
I've been skimming the comments and I wanted to add to the many useful points of advice.
1. Profile. Nobody wants to read another generic profile searching for someone honest, romantic, long walks on the beach but must be funny. I liken this to wanting 2.3 kids, a cat, a dog, 3 goldfish, an annual holiday in a timeshare. Not that there is anything wrong with these things BUT use your profile to express WHO YOU ARE. My experience is that most profiles are projections of who a person would like to be and NOT who they are. Deep down we all want to meet someone who balances us out. Write a boring profile and more than likely you are a boring person.
2. First Contact. Ordinarily I'd write a unique first email that addresses points in a profile. HOWEVER, I have found the stamps method on this site is not conducive to this conduct. In which case, I've resorted to sending people kisses. Save your stamps, write a good profile and send kisses. Let your profile do the selling.
3. Questions. Ask LOTS of questions. Some people are offended by questions. If so, dump them straight away. Questions help you gather information so you can make an informed decision. It's no different to shopping. Ask everything you need in order to make the right decision. If people don't answer your questions, ask the question again. If they still don't answer then that'll be their personality in real life.
4. Manners. Didn't your parents teach your manners? It's too easy to forget manners in the online world. I know people are busy but courtesy goes a long way. You'd be surprised to find that politely declining an invitation can be personally enriching. Many people are thankful that you made the effort.
5. Learn to Say NO. If you start seeing someone but decide they're not for you, have the courage to say you're not interested. Never give a reason. Reasons are over-rated and people who ask for them are trying to make you sweat. You'll find strength of character by simply (and politely) saying you're not interested. If the person (usually guys from what I hear) go off their nuts then it was a good test and it'll save you a lot of heartache in the future.
6. Plan. Decide what you are looking for. Think about the qualities that will compliment you. Birds of a feather flock together yet opposites attract. Most people need similarities and differences to keep their relationship interesting. It's all about balance and finding the right combination.
7. Cinderalla Syndrome. There are a lot of girls (and some guys) looking for love in some Hollywood kinda way. This is a perversion of reality. Your prince/princess will differ from person to person. That's why you need to follow the advice in 6 - work out what qualities your prince/princess will have. They'll easier to identify when you see them. Ask your objective friends. They might have some idea as they'll look out for your best.
8. Rules. There are NO rules. There are a lot books and people claiming that there a certain rules you have to follow. Don't call someone back too soon. Don't call them back too late. If he/she says they like you too quickly they're a lunatic. If he/she doesn't say they likes you then they're not interested. It's all garbage. Do whatever feels right at the time. Talk openly, view people with polite scepticism and have fun. People are defined by what they do - not what they claim.
9. Fun. Definitely aim to have fun. If nothing else, your bad experiences will make an incredibly funny story one day ... like that time I did a date that involved an earthquake, a woman in red, a lesbian and a goat. There are lots of funny stories to be shared!!
Posted by: MANSale at July 20, 2007 6:16 PM
Dear First timer,
Your in for one bumpy, frustrating, ride. I probably sound very cynical, because I am, cynical and jaded, but unfortunately this thing is addictive, so after a year of frustration and dead ends I'm still here. Pathetic isn't it! So, my advice is hang in there and don't expect too much and you won't be THAT disappointed. I don't know why this thing doesn't have a greater success rate, but I can only think that we are all spoilt for choice. Best of luck.
Posted by: claretjewel at July 20, 2007 5:47 PM
Some women only want a friendship type thing yet they are being very particular! Ok i don't have a degree or work as a doctor etc. But i still work hard for my money and get along well with people,
that's all that matter 's. Also you can't understand somebody so well just by their profile you need a meeting. Not sure about this Kisses/messages thing.
It would be better without stamps and a several months membership . Where you can email as many people as you can & see if you can convince them!
Posted by: georgef76 at July 20, 2007 1:42 PM
I'm going to put it out there and let you guys know of somethings that make me quite upset about this site and the people who use it. I have been on here for a bit over 6 months now and have met some lovely people but have also had some rude unkind w**kers too.
This is what not to do!!!!!!
1. If a guy sends you a kiss, ONLY send a (Can't wait to recieve your email) if you really are interested. 5 times now i have used stamps on pathetic chicks who are using this as a confidence boost to see how much attention they can get. And not to find someone. If your excuse is that you were only on here for friendship then put that under what looking for friendship and leave the short and long term relationship for people who are actually wanting to find a partner!!! selfish wankers.
2. Also I am sick of people lying. My reasoning behind this rant is simply that people have an an idea of what they are looking for and its right there in their what you should be table on the left of their page.
I'll try to be as nice about this as possible......... If you say your slim and you rock up to a date and you aren't, then chances are the person you are meeting will see that you are a liar, and one not trust you and secondly wont be attracted to you as you are not their type. So dont waste peoples time if the compatibilty does not match or you will be in for a boring, awkward date, thanks that is my story
Posted by: corneyusernameguy at July 20, 2007 8:23 AM
Naid18, advice from my own limited personal experience - have you considered perhaps it's not YOU - not to take it personally. If the other is not ready, willing, available or able (no matter what their glossy profile might say), then no matter what you do, it can't work.
Advice - scratch the "non contenders" as early as you can, and don't waste your time and energy. Save yourself for the deserving few. Love doesn't come along every day. If it did, it wouldn't be so special. Don't sell yourself short, and just keep on track - be patient, and remeber what it is you are really looking for, avoiding detours.
Yes, I truely believe (through all my mistakes) that getting to know someone and friendship comes first.
Just be yourself, and someone, somewhere, who really appreciates you is the one for you.
PS: Disclaimer - I am not an authority, and just like you here in the recycle depot, I am still working this through...
Posted by: Riversong1 at July 19, 2007 8:56 PM
My advice is simple, treat the whole thing as comedy, or as a blind date, until you have met the person, and dated them. After the date decided if you want to take it further, if you do and they do , then something "may" be happening. It is also a good idea to have no expectations, until you both have decided to do something. Try to be rational about the whole thing by remembering that it is really difficult to meet someone in real life, and that computers do not make it any easier. Its just an introductory agency on the commputer.
Posted by: litecloud at July 19, 2007 6:48 PM
I'm not sure how your'e ment to meet somebody on this site as i've sent over 30, kisses & messages to lady's but all i get is bad news! I have my credit card on standby in case something sounds good , then i can buy some stamps & talk. If i just by them anyway & send emails out the lady's might not be interested & i ve just wasted valuable stamps. So i'm not sure what to do next , any ideas? iv'e just about given up !
Posted by: Georgef76 at July 19, 2007 5:53 PM
Sortofanangel,
Don't forget other member's advice on this blog that there are players on this site too. Also i think men and women think differently; some women might like to be absolutely clear even if they have nothing to gain out of it, but men don't like confrontations. Also, depending on your wisdom and experience, no reply can be a very respectful response. What does other bloggers think?
Lily
Wow! Reading this is like opening up a whole new world.....
I've been on the website a couple of months now and have followed as much advice as I could and kept getting rejections.
It was a bit weird at first since I've never really had rejection like that in person - so i figure you've got to remember the others on RSVP haven't met you and don't know you so you can't take their rejection personally and hey, I know I'm a great person so it's their loss!
Posted by: tongueincheeks at July 19, 2007 3:14 PM
I certainly agree with Shanbabu, his points are very relevant, and I think I have come across many of the people he refers too...lucky me (big smile here) - and these people give me a smile and a laugh. I have for a while now conducted an experiment- what I do is try and predict their moves. It's a lot of fun - and I have a huge laugh when my predictions come true. These people as a rule are very predictable - so maybe I'm not as smart as I thought.
Riversong1 also makes some great points, re the "art to develop the discernment".
Ciao.
Posted by: Notfos at July 19, 2007 12:42 PM
Would greatly appreciate some advice even tho I'm not a newbie!
Riversong .. please tell me what bait I should be using?? ..Like you I'm a gentle person who also would not be attracted to the Big Game Hunter type! I send kisses to guys in my area with very similar interests and ideals listed yet invariably get a negative response. I also have recently kissed guys in Newcastle area as I may well move there in foreseeable future since my first Grandchild will be born there this October .. but not one of those even replied with a view to establishing a friendship! I still believe friendship is where it starts but who knows .. if I cant even get a kiss or an email ?? What am I doing wrong ?? other than getting older and lonelier by the year ?? Any comments or criticism on my profile will be accepted as constructive and helpful(within reason)
Posted by: Naiad18 at July 19, 2007 12:12 PM
To add to my blog of 14 July I should have mentioned that despite most of my negative experiences here I have formed a couple of close friendships with men through this process... but this has been the exception and not the rule. Making meaningful and real connections with people of the opposite sex is not something that happens everyday. Friendships and connections require respect, nurturing and strong communication... think about your relationships with family and other friends. Some people here on this site find that all too much hard work or just aren't capable of it in the first place. I find it quite sad that I might be having to teach a grown-up man how to communicate, be respectful or share true emotional intimacy.
Posted by: shesallthat at July 19, 2007 9:47 AM
Well I have been stood up twice - no phone call or SMS. That's downright rude. Why say you're interested in meeting up, set up a date and then not turn up. That is really poor form!!!
Posted by: classicgirl2 at July 18, 2007 11:26 PM
I liked this advice (swap number 5 for something like "be couteous to the wait staff and allow her to choose from the menu first)
1. It's okay to suggest a drink instead of dinner for a first date. (She also dreads a boring, four-course ordeal.)
2. Don't assume that just because you're out with a beautiful woman, she knows how pretty she is - she wants to hear it from you.
3. Men judge women according to whether they can picture having sex with them; women judge men by whether they can imagine kissing them. A set of white teeth, fresh breath and unchapped lips make her more apt to pucker up.
4. She loves it when you insist on ordering dessert. Sharing makes it extra sexy.
5. Tip well: grab the bill, mentally divide the total by 10, double that number and throw down the tip. Do it quickly, but casually. Believe me, she'll be watching.
6. If she touches your arm, she's interested; if she touches your leg, she's interested tonight.
7. When in doubt, hold her hand.
8. Very small protective gestures go a long way and show her you're a gentleman: offer your arm as she steps off a curb, direct her away from shards of broken glass. She'll notice if you wait until she's safely in her car or house before you leave. Wait the extra 90 seconds and next time you might be going in with her.
9. Women need momentum - without it, they lose interest or wonder if you have. Momentum is a minimum of one date a week, plus a couple of phone calls in between.
10. She knows that when you invite her over for a homemade meal or to watch a movie, it's code for "wear something black and lacy and breakfast is on me". Don't play this card any earlier than date three.
anybody got any thoughts on this one? I saw it on yahoo today and I thought alot of it was pretty sound
Posted by: watzername at July 18, 2007 11:35 AM
Meet them as soon as possible! Do not waste time in weeks of e-mailing, you only rise the level of expectations.
One or two emails, a couple of phone call and a coffee date, all in the same week if possible.
Posted by: not telling at July 18, 2007 6:56 AM
I would say that never let the process get you down it would be very easy for it to though there is somebody for everyone just waiting and never lose sight on what you are looking for
Posted by: GLENNNORTH2008 at July 17, 2007 11:14 PM
Shanbabu, agree there is a lot of lying and gameplaying about, as well as self-deception, idealising and fantasy.
BUT there do seem to actually be a few nice people in here as well.
Advice for newbies - it's quite an art to develop the discernment to be able to pick the fake form real. One of the most helpful hints is get to know the (real) person for a while, beyond the profile and emails, and don't be in too much of a hurry to unzip your clothes or your heart, until you build some basic foundations of friendship and trust first.
Posted by: Riversong1 at July 17, 2007 11:04 PM
First time I've blogged here! Been on the site a few months, so I'm a relative newie.
I initially took it rather personally when I didn't receive replies to some of my kisses, but after reading the blogs here it seems as though that is fairly common behaviour. Which is pretty sad really - I mean it only takes a few seconds to reply!
This blog has taught me a lot - basically don't take it personally, and don't get discouraged!
Posted by: cowboy71 at July 17, 2007 9:41 PM
I am in the States and new to the site. I have read this blog and I must say good to execellent advice was given! I am looking forward to meeting the man of my dreams here and as corny as it sounds I still believe in true love..
Posted by: Angeleyedbutterfly at July 17, 2007 3:21 AM
Hey Lily,
But dont' you think if that situation has occured they owe the decency of a reply?
I'm sure most women would agree that they would rather know where they stand than to be left with absolutely nothing. No reply just puts a negative spin on buying the stamps and then the feeling of so why bother?
Posted by: sortofanangel at July 16, 2007 6:53 PM
Above, there's a lot of waving the stick at guys for being dishonest, only after one thing, all of that. Sure, it's true too. But there's more than enough insincerity to go around both the sexes. Accept that, don't be surprised by it and it may even help you to appreciate the genuine ones - they exist! - that much more.
Posted by: AM1972 at July 16, 2007 5:39 PM
This blog is really good! I had to rush back and redo my profile. Been doing this for a couple of weeks and had very little luck so far.
Does anyone else think there are 3 times as many guys on here as women? Seems the odds are against us mere mortals.
I would say that this medium allows people to be very dismissive - alot of people dont reply to a kiss, or even dont return emails when sent (grrr!). So I guess as advice dont think it is just you!
Posted by: whynotme7 at July 16, 2007 3:59 PM
I agree with most of your comments.
I consider it a compliment if the kiss is from someone meeting my profile.
If it is not - for instance from interstate or older or younger - then I feel it is a waste of everyones time and dont know why they do it.
In my case I live in the country but spend lots of time in the city and plan to move there some time (certainly if the right man comes along) so I have been guilty of kissing men some distance away. They probably think I am peculiar.
Some men may kiss girls some distance away because they are seeking love (or something) and would relocate if necessary.
Do you agree?
Posted by: happywithrsvp (not rsvp name) at July 15, 2007 11:00 PM
To be honest, I feel like people here aren't genueinely seeking friendship or that special someone. Lot of them seems to be here to play games and present themselves as who they wanna be and not who they really are.... The contacts that I've had has really lead me down and I really wonder if you can really meet 'the one' online . Its disappointing and the site has made me believe that I am looking for the right one in wrong place. Dont believe ppl and what they have written... its all fake.
If only people meant that they said (or written) and said what they meant....
Posted by: Shanbabu at July 15, 2007 4:26 PM
I have been off and on this site for over two years now. I first joined this site with little idea of how rude, obnoxious and deceiving some people can actually be. I've experienced so much BS.. one guy had 5 different profiles in the space of one month and the variables changed all the time ie his age, employment, education. Another guy had one profile in his home town and another in the town he was moving too. I must have been a spook in a previous life because they all got busted!! And then there's the abusive ones... but that's another story. I think a few people using this site need to take time out for a little serious introspection or maybe call on the services of other professionals to help sort themselves out! So now I'm just using this site for the blogs.
Posted by: shesallthat at July 15, 2007 4:00 PM
My advice to the guys out there is to make a double first date, one at 7pm the other at 9pm, that way when one cancels you still have the other date to go on. In the last two weeks I have been left in a restaurant, date did not show and that was after meeting a few days earlier,
her excuse after finally getting in touch "I had an urgent trip interstate with work" hello, we do have other things to do.
The other, On Sunday I drove 15km to meet someone, parked the car, oh a text message, "sorry cant make it today will call you another time" PHEEEEW. Wake up girls we have feelings too.
I think that they should have half price stamps for women because they contact you, you reply and say you are interested, wait for the email but hear nothing, then you email them and they tell you they don't buy stamps.
I have spent a lot on stamps in the last few months only to find that most women are having a mid life crissis because thier kids have left home, or maybe that is the type I am attracting.
Kind of makes you want to go back to the nigtclub scene, at least the faces are real and they dont leave you waiting for a date.
Well had a date for brunch this morning, just got cancelled, the text, "cant meet today, good luck in your search" did I miss the reason somewhere?
Posted by: hereforu2 at July 15, 2007 10:28 AM
I think people should be honest on there profiles to begin with ,then theres no huge suprizes later.Most men r honest on there profiles and I admire that.
Posted by: kassie29 at July 15, 2007 9:13 AM
I would suggest checking out the dating safely blogs and also check out the site dontdatehimgirl. there are a few RSVP profiles on the site with less then admirable qualities, and some downright dangerous men. A lot of the blogs on this site urge you to have fun etc but believe me there is no fun in being conned, contracting a STD or being stalked. Always be cautious and when you can research the the person a bit before getting involved. This isnt bitter at all just sensible advise.
Posted by: tracey (not my RSVP name) at July 15, 2007 9:12 AM
Hey Velcro...that's the first I've heard of "codes" but I guess it make sense, specially the "Shawshank Redemption" which has to be the most common "movie" listed. Oddly enough, when talking to a guy about it (it was his ALL TIME favourite, best movie ever made etc.) he didn't have a clue what it was about or even where it was set - hmmm...perhaps you are right with your assumption!
Pompey....Johnny Depp crossed with Adam Sandler gives one hell of a scarey picture. I'm with you SeraphSuzie...I'd stop with just "Johnny" - can't stand Adam Sandler at the best of times!
Ninaschen...loved your advice - keep away from the blogs - too funny - yep, we can mess with ya head if you want!!!
Keep blogging.....give me something to read when I return from Armidale....
Posted by: wishfulthinker at July 14, 2007 8:15 PM
Hi Sortofanangel,
The person may have met someone else by the time you contacted him. He already feels bad that he made you spend the money. Off course he doesn't dare to reply and upset you further.
Lilyofthevalley (not my RSVP name)
There have been lots of great comments on this blog and now I've been inspired to change my profile (might add RSVP blogs to my reading prefences list while I'm at it).
My advice to newbies is not to believe everything you read. Every guy on this site has listed that he is an occasional/social drinker, yet some are drunk and/or grasping a bottle or glass like it is their long lost buddy in their photos. I make sure that I specify in my profile that I'm not interested in regular/heavy drinkers, because I know that there are many genuine guys out there who don't feel the need to overindulge. Forgive me if I'm being too fussy, but I know what I want (and what I definitely don't want).
The fact is that many (but thankfully not all) people write what they think will attract others to them, even if it isn't truthful - but at the end of the day, the truth will come out, so it's best to be honest from the start. You might not get inundated with kisses, but the ones you get will be more likely to be genuine.
Another piece of advice for newbies is try not to get hooked on these blogs if you work full time. I get home from work, start reading , and its past bedtime before I realise that I forgot to feed myself. Then it's already the next morning when I finally get to bed and wake up bleary eyed for work. Talk about an addiction!!
A big thanks to all the regular bloggers (you know who you are) and don't be surprised if you find I have been checking out your profile, regardless of your gender. It's just nice to put a profile to the blogger sometimes.
If there are any female bloggers in Brissy, maybe we can get together sometime for a bloggers-night-out,
Fefa63
Posted by: Fefa63 at July 14, 2007 1:52 PM
I'm on a roll this morning, avoiding getting up for the day.
Read ALL(yes, I'm shouting) of the blogs and take in what all these experienced rsvpers are telling you and be very, very careful and be very, very polite to everyone.
After you have done this, and finally meet someone great, have fun. Don't expect them to be the one. Too much pressure on both of you! Go out expecting to meet a good friend and go from there.
Posted by: Wishingandhoping at July 14, 2007 9:54 AM
Hi all
As I too am new to this game (and games should be fun) I have no great advice to give. I just want to thank everyone who has posted to this topic for helpful, insightful and amusing thoughts on this subject. Maybe this is a better way to meet people - way more personality appears in posts than in profiles! (Waving madly - "Hi all"!!!)
:-)
Posted by: DangerousTraits at July 14, 2007 1:13 AM
Hi Everyone :)
Ummm some of you may know me, and some of you may not... I am new to the blogs but I have been a member of RSVP for a few years now.
I have been on a few dates (ok, maybe more than a few) but nothing seems to pan out!
I am very honest in my profile, and also when I get the chance to speak to them, but after the first date it never seems to go any where.....
I am always honest, upfront and I don't lie about who I am or what I like. Have been told that I look exactly like my profile pics (and yes Aunty I do realise that I looked NOTHING like that the last time you saw me!)
Does anyone have any suggestions about what I could be doing wrong? Any tips for first dates?
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you :)
Yucka
Posted by: Yucka at July 14, 2007 12:06 AM
pompey1: they would have to be the worst characteristics a girl could possibly be looking for...YUCK!
Velcro I think your comment about the Shawshank Redemption was hilarious. Gave me such a good laugh. How funny would it be to start a whole new blog on our interpretations of the hidden meanings in what people put in their profiles.
I'm still a bit baffled about what tactile and sensual really mean, although I have my suspicions.
Posted by: suzysure at July 13, 2007 8:36 PM
My advice to newbies is that when you have done the kiss/email thing - meet the person quickly! Find out sooner rather than later if the person is who they claim to be, ie look like their photo, are the age they claim to be etc. Email tennis is fun but people can hide behind typed words so easily.....be brave - meet them and perhaps save yourself some time and heartache! Even if you are disappointed by some, keep trying for there are some genuinely good people out there. Happy and safe searching!
Cinnabar
Posted by: cinnabar at July 13, 2007 7:13 PM
Hey Pompey..I wouldn't mind just Johnny Depp..forget Adam Sandler and the other dude ...hehe.. :-)
Posted by: SeraphSuzie at July 13, 2007 12:30 PM
Hi all, with respects to the guy from Adelaide - no it didnt have anything to do with his looks. He seemed quite cute and we seemed to have similar things in common. I guess intense statements like "you're gorgeous and I would be honoured to be your partner" and "lets see this goes in the meantime I'm going to talk to my agency about work in QLD" in the first message between two people seems a bit intense. Maybe I'm just quite a cautious person and I took it the wrong way....but I think I'll take your advice, unblock him and see what happens next - as you said he doesnt know anything really personal about me apart from my name so I can withdraw at any time.....thanks.
Oh and as a ps - I had people who reply to a kiss with "im interested and am looking forward to your email" and you send them an email and they dont have the decency to reply. Way rude!!!!
Posted by: sortofanangel at July 13, 2007 9:00 AM
My advice is to be good to your mother, eat plenty of vegetables and finally don't take it all so seriously.
Oh yes and finally if you are a female member, try and remember that despite the rhetoric most blokes aren't really a cross between Johnny Depp, Adam Sandler and Big John Stud, they just think you want them to be. lol.....
Posted by: pompey1 at July 13, 2007 1:04 AM
Hi All, I'm new to all this, by that I mean RVSP and internet dating in general, I wanted to know if "tennis and Golf" in the sports section is a code for something or not, because 9 out of 10 guys seem to have it in their profile? I was told by a friend who is a long time member that there are heaps of codes you can put in your profile eg shawshank redemption means out for a good time not in it for a long time relationship. Or am I being way to paranoid???
Posted by: velcro at July 13, 2007 12:41 AM
When I first joined the site, I found it difficult to manage all the kisses. And like most others who have commented on this topic, I wanted to be polite and reply to everyone. Not as easy as it sounds. Then I discovered the "kiss limiter".
By limiting the number of kisses I received each day, I could give the attention to a few and hope the "man of my dreams" would try again another day when I could give him the attention he deserved.
If you want to try it, go to your account detail (under MY HOME) and choose the number of kisses you would like to receive under email settings.
Sorry if this has already been explained - too many blogs to read in one hit
By the way, I have met the man of my dreams - he waited patiently for me to get over my obsession with meeting new people and I finally came to my senses around ANZAC day. I still jump on RSVP to play on the Blogs (weB LOG for the person who asked) but do it with a hidden profile.
Clever girl AllThisandHeavenToo!!
Wish I had thought of that. You might have confused a few but ... Hey, it is clear you need a smart guy to keep up with you anyway (yes, I peeked at your profile). Good luck with it all - have fun if nothing else
Posted by: misstepped at July 12, 2007 8:58 PM
I would tell them to have fun and not take it too seriously! There are some genuine people on here and also some very non-genuine people. If all you can expect is to enjoy some nice nights out to dinner & drinks, then you aren't setting yourself up for disaster. Don't expect each date to be 'the one'...I think we have all done that at some stage - and that's when you get let down & hit the doldrums when they don't work out.
I didn't even know this blog thing was here until today, it's a good idea, as you can read comments from 'real' RSVP'ers....though I think should be a little more 'live' and interactive.
Have fun and good luck!
Posted by: hillsgirl66 at July 12, 2007 5:40 PM
Honestly? You could well become very frustrated because people will say email then don't follow through with contact. In my experience as a woman, the men often don't follow through if you contact them first. It's more likely that they like to be attracted to you first. As a 46 yr old Perth girl who has been on the site off and on for years and who is no "chopped liver" i find myself wondering exactly what these men are looking for. Some of them have been on the site for years and you think just what are they looking for.
At one stage my self esteem was taking a bit of a battering because i took it personally....but now i just think that it's not me it's them and obviously they aren't available to other women either or their profiles wouldn't be still up.
Posted by: helen (not rsvp name) at July 12, 2007 12:28 PM
Hey there, I'm one of the newby's! Only signed up tonight- well, last night... I'm so glad I stumbled across this forum. It's given me some really valuable advice that I've found repeated time and time over as I've read. In fact, I found myself holding my breath and thinking " what the hell have I let myself in for?" At first I thought my profile sounded a little "who does she think she is"-ish, but all I did was ask for what I want and after all the reading I've just done, maybe it wasn't a bad thing. Anyway, thanks for all the advice and I wish each and every one of you all the successes you can hope for. Have fun!
Posted by: Suz1604 at July 12, 2007 2:20 AM
My advice to new members? Keep away from the blogs. They mess with your mind and destroy your faith in your fellow man. Read other blogs for insight into this admittedly, bitter comment.
Posted by: Ninaschen at July 11, 2007 9:24 PM
what i dont like is when someone replys with looking forward to ur email soon ,so u ssend it and they dont even responed wot gives it costs money to send emails why is the girls on this site egt the upper hand and guys get shafted because obviasly the women can just sit back and read all her emails and just pick one they get a free reply witch sucks both people should pay then u know only the seriouis people will be on this site
Posted by: monkey28 at July 11, 2007 8:54 PM
The way I look at is, every contact I take as a compliment even if they are not suited or don't meet my criteria. They are just seeing if they have any luck so good on them for trying their luck I say :-)
Besides often when we do fall in love are they always exactly what we think we want - probably not lol.
Posted by: anon at July 11, 2007 6:44 PM
If the question is 'what advice would you give to a new member?' I'd say:
(1) Post a couple of photos, not just one. Like it or not, appearances do matter and if you meet and there's no physical attraction it can be disappointing. I'm not defending human nature, just recognizing it.:
(2) Women, try to avoid photos with your ex-husband's hand on your shoulder, and him cropped out of the other side - it just looks wrong.:
(3) Put a bit of info and detail into the Music/Reading /Sports etc sections. It helps people know if you are or you're not for them, if your interests aren't the same. That is, detail should cut down on the number of pointless contacts. If I know you don't read books but love jazz music and paragliding i won't send you a pointless kiss. People need to be able to 'select you out.' I don't contact people with little detail on their page because I can't get a sense of them.:
(4) It would be good if RSVP had a kissometer telling you how many people the kisser who just contacted you has kissed in the last week.:
(5) I've had a problem with contact from people who are geographically impossible to meet with.
(E.g. I live in NE Melb and I get kisses from Swan Hill!!! Or once from Perth!!)
I don't have a solution to this. Anyone else?:
(6) Get a couple of people opposite gender same age as you to look at your page and tell you if it truthfully reflects your personality. (Not if it sounds good). This helps incompatible people not contact you. E.g., my sense of humor is dry/ sardonic / gallows and this is reflected in the page. Those who don't like it won't contact me, and that's OK. :
cheers:
Dryhumouredwriter
Posted by: dryhumouredwriter at July 11, 2007 5:15 PM
Hi Sortofanangel,
I am just a little curious - how do you know the person is not just paying you a compliment? He/she may not mean it in its literal sense.
I think what he is saying is that there exists the possibility that he/she is willing to move interstate for the right person in the future if everything goes well and if you two are really for each other. Why not talk to them a little more to see if you two are indeed compatiable (if the real reason is because you didn't like the person's looks then I take what i say back), why do you need to run? What are you afraid of? Everything is under your control. You can get out at anytime down the track if you feel uncomfortable. That is the advantage of online dating.
I symapthise fully with those who have experienced nutters. Call me naive, but I really didn't think little ol'Adelaide would have them. How wrong I was! I have had very rude guys - please, look at your own profile before you start complaining about mine having "long term relationship with male". I can read, can you? And then another who said he was one thing, and he wasn't even close. Liars abound. Ok, so embellishing the truth may be acceptable. But out and out lies - you will be found out and no one respects a liar. If the most important part of any relatoinship is trust, it will easily be eroded by lies. Trust that you are a worthwhile human being, unique and individual, beautiful and deserving of the best. When you realise that, you realsie you don't need to lie to make yourself look better. You will be liked and loved for who you are. So guys and gals, be truthful at all times. Don't start a relationship on the wrong foot.
Ciao
Posted by: Allison73 at July 11, 2007 12:04 PM
Why do people asked for certain qualities in a person and you have those qualities why can't they be truthful in what they want?
Posted by: errolmc at July 11, 2007 1:30 AM
Hello all, I'm new, just joined on the the weekend and maybe what I'm doing is somehow not quite right? The first few kiss replies I selected from the reply list, not happy with the choices but important to respond I thought, so I did.
But since then I have been going to the member's profile page, clicking on the kiss link there which gives a dozen or so options, some of which can actually be better reply choices than the standard auto replies offered. This kind of kiss reply can also buy some time while you're still thinking about their profile, so they don't feel ignored etc.
Technically I'm not responding to the actual kiss in but my outbox shows the kiss out to that member and this appears to be okay. Does anybody else do this, I'm feeling like a naughty girl but it works for me. So far...
Posted by: allthisandheaventoo at July 10, 2007 11:31 PM
See if their profiles are consistent, ie says in details he/she is wanting, ie long relationship but mentions short term somewhere else.
Ask lots of questions about their marital status, ie that they are actually single.
Get proof they don't carry STDs (there are a few I know on here and I know they don't tell). Somethings you can't be safe from.
For girls, the guy should offer either their phone number (landlines are better if they are really genuine) or they offer you to call you - but either way the ball is in your court.
Ask for recent photos lol!
Don't take it too seriously, met a few on here that are nothing like their profiles.
Posted by: anon at July 10, 2007 11:24 PM
More advice from newbies (from a recent one) - be careful there are some nutters out there! I was chatting with someone today who was prepared to move state to be with me and we'd only been talking 5 minutes. Photo is now password protected again to save me from creepies!
Posted by: sortofanangel at July 10, 2007 5:07 PM
Wow...anon...that's an impressive list of "successes"...not sure what you class as a success...nor do I think I want to :)
I'm with you LipstickPrincess...you know they've opened their inbox..so why not fire off a thanks but no thanks....but I s'pose they'd be the type not to return a phone call either so is it really worth the worry?
Melhotguy25...shame you are too young and too far away :) Hang in there....all good things come to those who wait (yes, I keep telling myself this....and waiting...waiting...waiting...)
Posted by: wishfulthinker at July 9, 2007 9:51 PM
I have been on this site and 2 others for about 8 months,, I must say becareful, i had my phone *10# and the same person got my name from my email address and then from a 3 year old phone book and turned up on the doorstep,i have had emails from overseas that as you say "follow your gut".. i think they were scams of some sort.. My surname on my email address is not mine and when i,m ready i,ll give it to those that i want to have it.. i do enjoy looking, sending and receiving emails and the whole experience,I sometimes run out of patience , but stay on in hope that Mr Right will come along.. i have met some nice men who remain friends SO ENJOY LOOKING BUT BE CAREFUL
Posted by: aqtpi at July 9, 2007 9:40 PM
Be careful of the players on here that are taking advantage of people who are actually serious about meeting someone. There are some guys on here that will use all of the lines that you want to hear just so that they can add you to their bedpost! There are gameplayers on here.
Posted by: shadowlioness at July 9, 2007 9:08 PM
this is for lipstick princess..July 9, 2007 - and for everyone else who gets annoyed about kiss replies
everybody is different..
there was a time when i put a profile up without a photo. guess what? NO kisses.......
so, a week later i uploaded a photo...
i hadn't checked my email for a couple of days ...and guess what?....a full page of kisses and emails
what do you do then?
the man of my dreams might have been one of them - but, you can't read and respond to 60 profiles in one night. and, who's going to buy stamps for 60 emails?.(in relation to your suggestion to email the kisses)
and, why should i buy 60 stamps for people who didn't think my words were 'worth' a free kiss.....until they saw what i looked liked.
says a lot doesn't it.....my thoughts and my mind mean nothing unless i look a certain way!!??.
then all of sudden I'M an a/h because I can't respond to ALL these people who are sitting by their pc, expectantly waiting for my reply...all of a sudden my reply is the only thing that matters in their life????
i can't reply to a kiss from my email account...i actually have to log into rsvp to reply..
so, yep, i'll be seen to have logged in...but maybe i was only able to read the first 20 that came in..there's only so many hours in the day.
people who receive kisses - are REAL people too.
i think it's more important to consider whether you're being realistic about the person you are contacting.
later i tried restricting the kisses, then even disabling the kiss option completely - so that my profile was only contactable by email.... still too much contact. (but NONE that was what i 'asked' for)
i'd log in to read the profiles that had contacted me. as soon as i'd log in someone would contact me through chat...so i didn't even get the opportunity to read anyway........i ended up disabling the chat..
i ended up deleting my profile altogether because it was just exhausting
it took months before i was brave enough to put another profile up.
so, my advice is a little different...consider who you are contacting...........and DONT sit around waiting for a reply....or checking up on the person...
it feels positively creepy to think that someone would be checking whether i'm logging in..
Posted by: anon at July 9, 2007 8:20 PM
Hi guys - I sure could have done with your comments a while back when I first joined. Very, very interesting to see the common themes emerge around getting to grips with rejection, trusting your gut instinct, not taking things personally and basically adopting a light-hearted approach to the whole thing! And I thought it was just me! The whole RSVP thing has made me a lot wiser and a lot more appreciative of people who are flawed, human and honest online and offline. Good luck everyone and thanks so much for all your comments.
Posted by: izzylou at July 9, 2007 7:17 PM
proper etiquette,
If it were you that sent the email and were awaiting a reply, if it were you who sent the kiss and were awaiting a reply, how would you feel if you 'had to take a number' or got a betta offer?
These are people. reply regardless, eg, i am purchasing stamps to contact you.
or flick a quick email, thanks for your email, id like to keep in touch with you, you sound interesting and i hope we can exchange thoughts further.
Pls be patient with me, it takes time to write a decent reply.
either way a response asap. In all honesty, how long does it take to reply? If you dont have the time, dont log on until you have. We can see when you visit the site. How long would you like to sit in an inbox?
Posted by: Lipstick Princess at July 9, 2007 5:19 PM
more for (no name) July 8, 11PM
(i'm on a roll baby!..)
(RSVP - if you print my name - you know i will have to leave the state!!)
more about 'don't jump in'
the other beautiful bloggers might put it this way -
"take it from one who knows- tie your nightie to your toes"
as for me - I'll put it this way...
some guys - if writing a 'success story'..would probably write it like this:
" I love you RSVP!! I've had success with:
blondbabe69
AllSassNoCrass501
LibranLibrarian207
2Hot2Trot
SweetGirl509
LoveMyBike88
Iamabike
blondbabe29
WhereIsLove267
StartingOverAgain988
NewHorizon345
blondbabe1975
PearlPrincess787 (sorry pearl, about the cranberry juice)
NiceNan49
BusinessBabe801
FitNFabulous818"
if you get my drift....
just remember there are horses for courses..
Posted by: anon at July 9, 2007 10:44 AM
ohhh..and some more advice for (no name) of July 8, 11PM
(please RSVP - pleeeeeeeeease dont print my name!!! - I get enough hate mail as it is)
here's a tip (for your date of Friday) that could save you a lot of grief..
ask him to email you a RECENT photo before you meet..
particularly if he's over 35..... if he isn't able to (send a recent photo)..then this is what I do..
look at his pic, imagine moving back his hairline, add a few wrinkles and add a few kilos
that way you won't be disappointed... I don't know why - but guys who use a photo, that is from their sister's wedding 10 years ago....really dont understand that they 'dont look like that any more'.....seriously!..somehow - it's still what THEY see when they look in the mirror....but it AINT what's sitting in front of you!!
and, you'll spend the whole time NOT being able to listen to a word they're saying (regardless of how nice a person they are)...coz, the 'dream' you've had in your head all week - just turned into a nightmare
Posted by: anon at July 9, 2007 10:03 AM
In answer to (no name) of July 8, 11.00 PM
There really is NO exact 'proper ettiquette'
You do what's right for you. It would be great if there were an appropriate kiss reply for (I'll get around to you when I sift through all of my inbox)
In here (in the blog) there's been enormous debate on the impoliteness of not responding....but....what do you do when you're receiving 20 kisses a day? - and... you don't open your inbox for a few days....damn!..it becomes a chore - not fun at all...(and then you get hate mail...just because someone sitting at their PC has it in their head that 'you are the one!'..just from reading the few words in your profile...and they take it as rejection)
What can I say? - you can't please everyone.
So, you do what's right for you honey.
I hear you, in that, you dont want to send a 'don't wish to communicate' kiss...because, well, maybe you do at some point..it's just that you're too busy answering the ones who got in first.
Perhaps turn your photo off for a while (I can't see your profile so I dont know if you've done that)
and....'don't jump in'...(if I'm understanding this correctly)..means...
'don't fall in love'...coz chances are 'they' are not what you may think they are (the dates).. I dont mean that they're bad or deceitful...just not what you thought they may be..
It means - protect your heart
Go out, have fun, enjoy! but don't get involved until you REALLY KNOW who they are.
Make friends.... Meet your dates (I don't call mine 'dates' because it implies romance)..but meet each person as a potential friend...and use caution - because at the end of the day - you don't know this person yet...and he hasn't come with references.
Be safe, be smart, and have a great time on Friday.
Posted by: anon at July 9, 2007 9:31 AM
I didn't really know what a 'blog' was until now. Is that short for something? An amalgam?
I have a question as a new rsvper - What is a 'jump in'?
Also I would like to add a comment about kiss replies. I have found the amount of kisses difficult to keep up with and many of them I like. So far I have arranged 2 dates. The first cancelled, after being very keen, the night before we were supposed to go.
The second is for Friday. I don't want to start any other contacts or make anyone waste stamps, but some of the guys are interesting. I have been keeping them in my inbox until I see how this date goes. The ones I am not so keen on I have said 'contact with someone else'.
I would hate to think that guys who i like the sound of (ones in the inbox) felt slighted because I haven't responded, but I don't want to encourage then let them down.
When I first got kisses i responded with 'looking forward to your email' and now I have some that I haven't answered - again because I feel like i can only handle one at a time.
Any advice on the proper ettiquette here??
all is good
Posted by: luckywon at July 8, 2007 10:12 PM
SOME TIPS FOR THE GIRLS
Guys who feel the need to say they are genuine, usually aren't.
Guys who say they aren't players usually are.
If someone doesn't answer your kiss or email within a day or so he is probably considering more members than just you so don't hold your breath.
If they say they are currently overseas/interstate and spin out their emails, don't wait for them to get back. Keep contacting others and wait till they get back and arrange to meet you before you believe what they say. (Take note GBJ55)
The really genuine guys will buy stamps and contact you whether or not you initiated the kiss.
They will provide you with a phone number without asking for yours.
And they will alow you to set the pace for meeting without being pushy.
Guys just don't seem able to say it how it is. So if you don't hear back immediately after a date, or they don't respond to your thank you text or email, forget it even if they have appeared to enjoy the date and said they would like to see you again.
Posted by: forever sceptical at July 8, 2007 9:30 PM
melhotguy: hence the reason why we all joined RSVP. Its not that we are not interested in finding a mate, probably more that we are not interested in anyone who has come our way thus far
woohoooo hoodsballs bring it on!! hehe ;-)
Posted by: SeraphSuzie at July 8, 2007 6:03 PM
This site is really strange. for one, this is the one of the first times i entered a site like this, but most of the ladies on here seem to either don't really have any interest in finding a match either from friendship or what have you even if the profiles match. Clubbing is so boring for me now-a-days, that i have decided to meet some people with other avenues and hence, with a friend's advice jumped on here. So far though, i must say quite dissappointed at how my results are coming along. But, there is always time. lol.
Posted by: melhotguy25 at July 8, 2007 3:05 AM
Imabrissygirl: my pic is hidden for professional reasons. Working in education, I have been told by my students that their fathers trawl rsvp for their 'women'. I have also had some fathers send kisses...Schools spread news (usually the news no-one wants made public)like wildfire and I really have no wish for my students to know the state of my romantic life. As others have stated, their ex's use this site...our post divorce lives are none of their business, either.
Posted by: hiddencharms at July 7, 2007 9:10 PM
Wow so much good advice here!!!. I only found these blogs the other day and i have to say I am impressed.
Sadly it seems all the normal nice ppl are hidden in " these blog rooms " and not in the profiles I seem to find.
My only advice to newbies.....take your time, dont rush things and trust your instincts!
Good luck everyone :)
Posted by: anotherinternetname at July 7, 2007 6:37 PM
Hi Everyone,
My first ever response to a blog site....
This is my 3rd go at RSVP over a period of 2 years. This time I've decided to put it out there exactly what I want and see how it goes. Believe me - I know it will scare many away - but as you have all been saying - BE HONEST. No use beating around the bush about it.
One thing I have learnt is be more specific on your profile - say exactly what you want - you may not get many kisses, but hopefully the ones you do get are more geniune.
My first try - very general and hundreds of kisses. 2nd try - much more specific, stating married and children were wanted - not many kisses - but the ones I got were from great men who wanted the same thing. We just weren't compatible together.
This time - who knows - it only went up tonight.
Meeting - I tend to be the type that suggests we meet soon after we have made contact, which I think scares some men! As many on this blog have pointed out there is no point emailing for months, only to find the person in the flesh, is very different to the cyber person. I did that on my first RSVP encounter and vowed never to wait long before meeting again.
On the question of responding to kisses: I will always respond, but it doesn't worry me if people don't respond to mine. I'm an adult, I can cope with someone looking at my profile and thinking "not for me."
The people I don't like are the ones that have been mentioned - the "serial kissers" who have obviously NOT read your profile, as mine clearly states I want children and theirs clearly states they don't! Or something else that is just as obvious. (Like what's your password when my profile tells it to them already!)
Photo - I have done both - hidden and shown and personally hidden is for me. I don't have anything to hide, but I also have no desire for one of my clients to go "Oh I saw your profile on RSVP" - not when I'm in a professional situation. If you read my entire profile it gives you the password at the end anyway - I figure if they have read that far, they must be a little interested. Each to their own however.
I look at RSVP as a fun way to expand my circle of potential men. I work in a female dominated industry, and tend to go out to dinner, rather than pubs - so the chances of meeting someone are slim. But I know Mr Right is out there and coming into my life very soon. RSVP might just be the way to find him - and have a lot of fun alone the way!
Enjoy everyone - life is WAY too short to be unhappy or doing something you don't enjoy.
Regards.....I'm a Brissy Girl.
PS - why is it when I have previewed all my nice paragraphs etc have dissapeared and put into one big long story??
Posted by: Imabrissygirl at July 7, 2007 6:32 PM
My advice is to beware of the predators. Don't do "jump ins". Use your head and tune into your intuition at all times; don't do "house calls" even if the thought of being cooked for sounds nice. Never put yourself in a vulnerable position with someone you barely know. Keep a check on reality...real connections are not instant. Be very wary of men who want physical contact the first time you meet them. Listen to your gut when you meet someone. Keep yourself safe emotionally and physically.
Posted by: sportyblonde46 at July 7, 2007 4:22 PM
My advice is to beware of the predators. Don't do "jump ins". Use your head and tune into your intuition at all times; don't do "house calls" even if the thought of being cooked for sounds nice. Never put yourself in a vulnerable position with someone you barely know. Keep a check on reality...real connections are not instant. Be very very wary...listen to your gut when you meet someone...watch out for men who want physical contact as soon as you meet them..keep yourself safe emotionally and physically. Listen to your gut when you meet someone.
Posted by: sportyblonde46 at July 7, 2007 4:16 PM
Be careful SeraphSuzie, keep sweet talking me like that and who knows what could happen....? ;-p
Posted by: hoodsballs at July 7, 2007 12:50 PM
Dayan, Wishfulthinker, Softsummerrain
Thank you guys (I say that generically, SSRain). I spent a little bit of time writing my profile because I knew that living in a rather small town that I would want to password protect my photo. So if I was to have any chance @ all, my words would have to be my initial selling point. Advice taken on board and paragraphs inserted. Pity we all don't live in the same place I would rather welcome sitting around a coffee shop "real life" chatting about this stuff. Human relationships (in anyway shape or form) fascinates the heck out of me.
Good luck with you all and I guess if we just have a positive outlook on this whole "dating" thing and remove the pressure initially (speaking from experience here - bugger).
I am "dating without drama" these days - I am not putting an expectations on what may end up being only one date. I have my list of qualities and values that I would like to see in my future "partner" however that can only come with time. So for now I am enjoying the moment - lavishing the attention of gentlemen asking me out and just basically enjoying their company...
Kisses 2 U Dayan :-)
Cheers
WaggaCountryGirl
Posted by: WaggaCountryGirl at July 7, 2007 12:23 PM
thanks for all your funny comments, so true! why do men hide behind sunglasses? everyone can look good, we want the real you, not a blurry mist photo 10 yrs ago, it only kills the moment. And if you do eventually meet up, and there's no chemistry, then enjoy the moment, be curteous, and don't be all bitter and twisted the next day bu writing rude hurtful comments about the person. Just let it go and move on, oh and by the way, as most people agree, replying with a kiss costs nothing, do the decent thing! There I will get off my soap box now L!
Posted by: lovable1963 at July 7, 2007 10:48 AM
Nofos.... great attitude to have.
It's a game ... we all have our set of 'rules' & expectations when we come aboard at the Temple... & it's bound to conflict with other's rules....
and certainly our expectations will colour our experience.
That's why I think it is an imperative to be clear & upfront, & if something whispers of not being quite right, then listen, with both ears.
Me.. I like to tilt at windmills & only remember the good ones... the rest I put down as an experience to not be experienced again, I know what it feels like so therefore I recognise it when I feel (kinesthetic) it again.
Posted by: TrumansCat at July 7, 2007 10:34 AM
Hi wishfulthinker. Thank you. (I see that you're a fellow aquarian..I felt such a nice 'vibe' reading your profile) Yeah, the 'flattered - but responding to someone else' reply is pretty lame.
Hi Malsie. Thank you. (I felt such a nice vibe from your profile..I love your photo in the sunflower field! ) Yes, this is the way to go isn't it (meeting in this warp zone). I dated a guy that I met in the real world recently ...and I've decided that I'm only going to meet through here from now on...at least this way you can 'suss' them out a lot before you meet them. After a while you get good at understanding how to draw out their personality by email and then phone... I mean, sure, there's heaps of problems this way too...but a lot less, according to my experiences. And you have the opportunity to meet people that you could never possibly meet in the real world...and let's face it - every one has a PC on their desk.
Hi Notfos.....Geez, I finally figured out what your profile name means (hehe)...took me a while (blonde here). I probably am fos.
Hi Hoodsballs......ohhhh, I felt so awful when you said it made you feel low and unimportant... Please don't feel like that...no-one should ever feel like that. To give you another side of the coin again....in my early days of profiling, when I'd sent an "I'm flattered but no thanks"...I received hate mail. In fact my ratio is about 1 in 30 (hate mail / emails)..so, it's hard to know which is the right way to go. Maybe we should come up with some nicer replies.
Posted by: softsummerrain at July 7, 2007 1:41 AM
Hey Hoodsballs, I see you checked my profile out, I almost sent you a kiss..thank your lucky stars you got away quick enough..hehe Just kidding.. ;-)
Posted by: SeraphSuzie at July 6, 2007 7:55 PM
Hello to all......
Am definately NEW to blogging and have only been on RSVP for a month.
Wish I knew how to navigate this site better and had seen some of your good advice / tips prior to actually meeting some of the "gents".
I password protected my pic after one of them told me he went to bed every night thinking of me (and doing wot most men do when thinking of females)...AND NO.....I am not all that to be think of....
After getting and giving several winks /smiles and very quickly learning that most are not what they say in their profile or they are married / attached, I have now hidden my profile and only give my pic when I want to.
I am just kicking myself that I didnt get to see all the info you have provided prior to getting into all this.
Goodluck to all...cos this little black duck is soon outta here.
Posted by: womanof2007 (not real RSVP name) at July 6, 2007 7:38 PM
Hi Everyone, On encouragement I have just signed up...I didn't know what to write, to describe myself. I wish I had read all these comments first... Sounds, like I'm in for a 'hell of a ride'...sure I'm kidding! Thanks everyone for your advice! I hope I get to use it.
Posted by: lyntomeet at July 6, 2007 11:59 AM
Hi all, read a quite a few responses on this topic and I now believe all views are right.
For me, being here only 3-4 months I guess, I used to get a little P'ed off when there was no reply - to "kisses" I had sent always with my password. As I always reply to "kisses" sent to me (thankyou to all those blind ladies).
But now, it's water off a ducks back - these people don't know me and owe me nothing, so what they do is fine. There is no reason why anyone should take things personally - it's not personal until you meet and know someone even better than fairly well.
Wouldn't the world be boring as Bat **** if everyone thought and behaved in similar fashions (Clones) !!!!!!!!
Posted by: Notfos at July 6, 2007 11:32 AM
Hi everyone,
Thanks for all the advise for the new guys (and girls)
My point of view with kisses is, if i send one out then i would prefer a response either good or bad.
I have faced rejection many times and in many shapes and forms trust me, but it makes me feel low and unimportant with someone can't take the time to make a few clicks on the mouse and send a reply. Good or bad i would rather know then not know.
Or maybe it's just me....
Posted by: Hoodsballs at July 6, 2007 9:10 AM
Hi WaggaCountryGirl,
(This is a girl's opinion...but) I read your profile as fun, vivacious, and maternal. 'out there' , yet domestic, and..wow! you read books on physics.
With a password protected photo - you'd probably know that you'll have to do most of the initial contacting..
Good luck darling...have fun x
Posted by: softsummerrain at July 6, 2007 6:23 AM
Dayan: checked out your profile. I thought it was "just about right". It's not a hard sell, not full of yourself, seems light and natural...
Mine, however, reeks of my warped and twisted dating encounters to date and I really am starting to feel that I MUST have green hair and horns because all of my "kisses" ask for the password to the pics, then no further reply - even when the profile did contain more psotive and more personal information!
Posted by: hiddencharms at July 5, 2007 10:55 PM
softsummerrain, I hadn't realised it - till I read what you wrote about comments along the lines of "I wouldn't be doing this if I had any other options and think everybody who does is a loser".... - but yes, that irks me too!
It's a perfectly valid and sensible way to meet people and gives you so many more options and scope outside the narrow circle most of us flutter around in (oh, well, maybe that's just my life - shouldn't generalise!). I too have mostly had very positive experiences, and have had far, far "worse" ones outside of the internet arena!
Posted by: Malsie at July 5, 2007 8:10 PM
My advice would be keep your profile honest, happy or upbeat, add a current photo, and take a "lets see what happens next" kind of attitude.
Make sure you read others profiles, properly, before you send of a kiss.
Be prepared to receive kiss's from people that obviously have not read your profile, and work out how you will answer them without hurting their feelings! Be prepared for not getting response at all in some instances.
Always remember that people, in my case men, are not the same as you, ( you know that thing about Venus and Mars!!) and that basically the site is one big "melting pot" ! But it is an adventure!
Posted by: junebaby57 at July 5, 2007 6:27 PM
For Emuride...I'm wondering if you really need to send out heaps of kisses to get that response....I'm finding most who contact me have that direct intention in mind....didn't take heaps of kisses on my part!
WaggaCountryGirl, I read your profile (without logging in...didn't want to "worry" you, and it reads pretty well, however, you might want to add a "paragraph" break - just to break it up a little. Otherwise...it sounds honest and upfront...but that's just my opinion, for what it's worth.
Softsummerrain...those replies are a little stiffling aren't they? Sometimes you simply don't have one that "fits". It'd be nice if we could 'write our own' but alas, can't see that happening. However, the one that I truly hate is "Flattered etc. but has recently responded to someone else". That has to be the most "overused" one yet. If, like they say, they are "getting serious" with someone else (or whatever it says), how come they are on day after day, night after night. Surely a week or so of emailing would get them "off" rsvp and into the real world, but no, you see the same guys on here day in and day out, week in and week out...maybe they are just living in cyberspace.
Most important advice, be honest, if you dont want to contact someone say so, it's not the only rejection we get in life - and I'm sure you'll do your fair share of "rejecting" too. It doesn't feel good to do it - but it is a whole lot better than giving someone false hope too!!!
Posted by: wishfulthinker at July 5, 2007 4:47 PM
ahh what the hell
Mwah! (blow)
Posted by: dayan at July 5, 2007 4:33 PM
Waggacountrygirl, it's all there. A couple of paragaph divisions might make it a less daunting read, but I'd "kiss" ya.
Posted by: dayan at July 5, 2007 4:31 PM
Advce to newcomers, be very wary of anyone who uses "super..." as their RSVP name.
Posted by: Funnygirl52 at July 5, 2007 10:13 AM
Kiss Replies.....(and email replies)
(wow...I've become a serial blogger! Until yesterday I'd never written a blog in my life.)
I'd just like to offer another perspective on kiss replies...
Some people don't send kiss replies if they don't want to continue contact. Please don't take offense when that happens. It's never intended to be mean or impolite.
I'm one of those who doesn't often reply.........it's not that I can't be bothered - I read every profile...I read them, study them, interpret them...stress over them.......it's just that, sometimes there's isn't a suitable response to a contact.
I've read the other blogs where it is mentioned over and over about it being impolite (not responding to kisses).....but sometimes you just can't.
I say this so respectfully, and hope the other bloggers forgive me (I've read each of your profiles and you all sound like such lovely people), but, these are my experiences:
Sometimes I've received 'inappropriate' contact (for my 'wish list') . When that happens, I think,.... 'well, they mustn't have read my profile anyway - or else they wouldn't have contacted me'. By that, I mean that the contact is very specifically NOT what I asked for. It's been my experience that lots of people send kisses, simply because it is a way of saying 'hi - liked your profile'...but they don't expect a response.
And, I've been the recipient of a 'flattered, but do not wish to communicate' kiss reply...and it felt uncomfortable. I would have preferred to receive NO reply at all. I simply don't want to make anyone feel the way that I felt when I received one.
There have also been times where I've responded positively to a kiss, and when (and if) I've received an email...sometimes I get a 'vibe' that feels uncomfortable. Particularly if the email is forceful, or critical, or demanding.
I have never responded to an email that says something along the lines of......"I liked your photo and your profile....i'm not into email ping-pong - here's my number..ring me".....
I look at it like this - they have expressed that they don't want an email - and, I'm not prepared to ring someone I don't know.
I've had profiles on and off for years. I've met a lot of people - many of whom are in my life as wonderful friends. And yeah, I'm still single sadly....(still hoping)...but, as a result I have had a lot of experiences - I could write a book..seriously!...and my experience is that, sometimes, negative kiss replies are more hurtful than no reply..
I hope this gives another view on kiss replies.
I will state too that if I read in a profile ,words along the lines of....'please reply whether negative or not'..then I will. But I have to say that I do feel uncomfortable sending a negative reply.
Posted by: softsummerrain at July 5, 2007 6:04 AM
More advice to newcomers on profile writing.
(wow, I really need to get a life, huh??)
One of the things that I find 'uncomfortable' when I read profiles are these type of statements:
"I've had to resort to this medium"
and... "i'm a bit dubious about this medium"
It's sort of insulting..because....HELLO! I'm using this medium too! I feel like they're implying that they're 'lowering themselves' to contact me.
RSVP is a great way of meeting people. I've made some wonderful, and powerful friendships through RSVP. And lets face it - this is the new milenium, and it IS the way to meet these days.
I need to add too, that, I've also met a couple of people that I wish that I hadn't - but that's life.
Posted by: softsummerrain at July 5, 2007 2:58 AM
Some more advice to newcomers to RSVP.
Remember that each profile is a 'real' person. A person with a 'real' life, 'real' feelings, 'real' dreams, aspirations etc., and, specific needs, desires etc.
So be realisitic in who you contact.
Read what they say in their profile before you contact them. 'Hear' what they are saying, and asking for.
Respect what they are asking for.
For example, if they ask for a specific age range...well, don't contact them if you are outside that age range. They've asked for an 'age' because it's relevant to them. It's not being superficial - it's actually being realistic - in that, they know what works best for them.
And the same can be said for every other request detailed in their profile.....
Read what they say. Hear what they are saying - and take it on board.
Contacting someone, just for the heck of it - can be bothersome to them, and probably won't result in a reply.
Posted by: softsummerrain at July 5, 2007 2:31 AM
Hi All....
I wonder if you could possibly make comments on my profile (especially the gentlemen bloggers however I appreciate comments from my fellow ladies). I do have a photo however it is password protected and for those of you who live in major cities this is mostly due to the fact that I live in a regional town in which I know quite a number of people. I have nothing to hide and do show my photo to those profiles that I am interested in. I would be interested in comments on the words of my profile, so fire away....
Also the comments provided here are excellent so keep it up.
Posted by: WaggaCountryGirl at July 4, 2007 11:47 PM
My advice is
1. Don't take it too seriously
2. Try not to take rejection personally
3. Answer all kisses, even if only to say thanks but no thanks
4. Be honest, or it gives a bad name to those of us who always are
5. Don't just rely on RSVP, get out there & live life
6. Be cautious - there are people on here who take advantage of kind hearts
and finally - try not to take the 'rejection' to heart. If you are not over your ex, perhaps you need to take the time to heal
7. Most importantly - KEEP TRYING. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet a 'prince'
Posted by: butterfly effect at July 4, 2007 11:25 PM
One thing I've noticed is that you may be a polite person and reply to every kiss you receive, but not all the kisses you send out will be answered; not even a 'thanks but no thanks'. RSVP has quite a few responses for people to use but some egomaniacs decide that it's too much trouble to click on a little circle. PLEASE do not take it personally because there are some lovely people using RSVP and you will meet some of them. GOOD LUCK!
Posted by: xoxCATxox at July 4, 2007 6:29 PM
Having been on the site for about six week now my one piece of advice would be "Don't have any expectations". If you don't have expectations then you can't be disappointed, and you might even be pleasantly suprised on the odd occasion!
Other words of note:
1)Messenger and e-mail is all very well but chemistry can only be validated in person
2) Don't get too carried away with information you give out via messenger or e-mail before you meet them
3) Be honest, after all it is the real you that you want them to like
4) Some people say they want commitment but are still confused about what they really want. This can be someone on RSVP or the person you meet anywhere else
5) Have fun, you can meet lots of people that you wouldn't normally and view it as a learning experience, about others but possibly more importantly yourself!
Posted by: Optimist1973 at July 4, 2007 6:17 PM
"I am honest, caring, sincere,....".
This kind of statement does not mean much because everyone claims to be honest and sincere and caring.
Even if the photo is not appealing, give a chance to meet the person. However, if you are sure you are not interested, please say so and not make the other party spend a stamp and then you decide not to even reply.
Once a contact has been made, and you have met, if a person gives only the mobile number and declares that he/she does not have a house phone number, be wary. If a person is avilable to meet you Monday to Friday and have excuses for the weekends, think twice.
Finally, one more interesting(!) comment. I sent kisses to at least 300 members of the opposite sex -of my age group- Every one of them rejected me upfront. The reason I am writing this is to make others who happen to be in that category to realise that they are not alone. Someone once said "They don't know what they have lost". I do not feel disappointed or frustrated, but I have quiet laugh!
All the people I dated happen to be the ones who initiated the contact by sending me a kiss and I must say they all were decent people, I have a high opinion of most of them. Just that we were not meant to be together.
Good luck to all and happy dating.
Posted by: mynameisgone at July 4, 2007 3:48 PM
Hi everyone! Virgin blogger here, and I have been reading and taking it all in.
Been on RSVP one week, and so far everything has been fairly much follow the bouncing ball.
I imagined micro, when I decided to give this rsvp thing a try.
But living in Darwin, I have been astounded with responses from Brazil, UK, and a whole ship load from China.
My heart goes out to those lovely people, but I may need to develop my search skills better to see if we can come up with a way of discovering more ladies in Darwin to interract with.
As much as a lot of people seem to agree that it is what a person is on the inside, that makes them attractive, I am sorry that I only partially agree with that.
It is disappointing that not enough ladies put their photo on their profile. Put it out there ladies!
The genuine blokes will appreciate you for it.
Posted by: matt1951 at July 4, 2007 3:11 PM
To Dayan.....In your profile, almost each statement has a retraction. I know you're only expressing humility..and that is sweet - but perhaps consider not being so humble. Sell yourself! Just tell yourself that, out there somewhere, is girl lucky enough to have you. Tell her what is good about you. (I'd take out the 'pain in the A' stuff)......Good luck sweetie!
Posted by: softsummerrain at July 4, 2007 11:59 AM
These are the tips I gave to one of my guy friends when I encouraged him to join:
1. Don't write in caps.
2. Don't use 'chat'. abbreviations (hi to all u ppl).
3. Don't talk about your ex in your profile
4. See the profiles for what they really are - in that, each profile is written by a 'real' person..with a life, feelings, experiences etc....and remember this, that, irrespective of their perfect lives, and walks on beaches etc....the fact is, in reality - they are here all for the same reason...they're lonely-they wouldn't be here otherwise... It's that simple.
5. Respect the fact that all people are different, and have different needs. If they don't respond to you, don't take it personally. It's fine - there are another 600,000 profiles to look at.
6. Be realistic in who you contact.
7. Write your profile the way that you 'think'. There's no point pretending to be someone that you're not. Be who 'you' are - it's ok. Because then you will find 'like-minded' people.
Having said all of this - it doesn't mean that I'm right...it's just the advice that I gave my friend.
Posted by: softsummerrain at July 4, 2007 8:42 AM
Nice work Kransky :)
Posted by: stoic at July 3, 2007 9:52 PM
Wow.....I wish I had read this a couple of months ago. Lots of fantastic advice is given here. It also puts many of of my thoughts and perceptions about internet dating into perspective. As a novice, it has all been a little daunting....especially the reading of profiles and the ideal partner.
I am not thin ( it says so on my profile), but when chatting on the phone I get an uncomfortable silence when I restate this. I am totally honest , but it still doesn't help. One guy was insistent on asking my size ( for all the men out there - even thin women would feel confronted by this).
And as I live in the country, how do I meet up with men in a timely fashion - any ideas?
Thanks to everyone again for the advice.......I will use it all.
Posted by: merlotmaiden68 at July 3, 2007 9:15 PM
For newbies, just send heaps of kisssies and someone will lay you! Guaranteed!
Posted by: emurider at July 3, 2007 6:53 PM
Advice to newbies:
it's a big wide world out there; it takes all types; don't be scared or cynical, but proceed with CAUTION!
And yes, take Greengirl and Shybutperky's advice: you don't have to be the prettiest, smartest or coolest, just be yourself, and there will be someone out there who will appreciate you for the beautiful person that you are.
Posted by: Riversong1 at July 3, 2007 1:55 PM
When you've finished your profile see what it looks like when viewed by others, (particularly the photos). and in the search results. A reality check is when you see what you thought was a clever but unusual photo or headline looking particulary ridiculous when viewed amongst all the others in a search. I sometimes look at the photos or read the headline and wonder what people were thinking.
Posted by: suzysure at July 3, 2007 8:55 AM
Some advice worth not following:
* base your self-esteem entirely on the number of kisses you get
* assume everybody here is a complete looser
* sumo wrestlers are athletes, so if you are their size you can say you have an athletic build
* guys are facinated by girls with bubbly personalities
* if you like red wine, salsa and the film "Amelie" people will regard you as a unique and cultured pearl.
* single mothers are messed up
* an SMS can convey love just as elegantly as a Shakespearian sonnet
* only take relationship advice from people the same gender as you
* single men over 35 are messed up
* all the good ones are taken
Posted by: Kransky at July 2, 2007 11:17 PM
shybutperky
yeah, that's what the lyrics in green say, "I am green and itll do fine, its beautiful and I think its what I wanna be. I don't wanna be blue, I just wanna be, what I wanna be" :>)
Posted by: greengirl at July 2, 2007 11:02 PM
yup i remember kermit singing it...
how about if i said....
I'm me and I'm great with that? =)
Posted by: shybutperky at July 2, 2007 7:00 PM
one thing above all else
BE HONEST!!!!!!!!!!!!
With yourself and with the people you are interacting with
Posted by: Rhodry at July 2, 2007 6:12 PM
Hi everyone,
I've just recently joined RSVP and found my way to these blogs, and thoroughly enjoyed reading all comments and suggestions for newbies - thanks!
There are one or two things I've already discovered which may help other newcomers:
First one being that some members seem not to know or perhaps communicate what it is they're here for!
I'm here to make friends, as am married and the faithful type, so have tried to make that as clear as possible in my profile. Many many profiles from both guys and gals say they are also looking for friends locally..great..so since when did whether or not you'd get on with a person as a friend have to do with what you (or indeed they) look like? I've had numerous return kisses asking to see a photo (which is on the way to hopefully being accepted by da management) :)
So.. bear in mind that when you see that friends is marked but the profile speaks of intimacy, hand holding and corny chat up lines, that perhaps..just perhaps..the profile owner is here for more than friends.. and the same is true whatever/whomever you're looking for
Second hint (although it's already been touched on above) criteria..
Again, from my angle of friends only, I find it both confusing and somewhat mind boggling when I come across a profile which reads 'looking for friends' then states that potential friend must be over 5'4, have a certain hair/eye colour and has or doesn't have kids..
Umm.. I'm a grown up, looking for grown up friends what do my kids have to do with this, I'm not asking for a babysitter :)
Another (very quick) suggestion to newbies as well..elaborate on your profile.. 'like to have fun' means different things to different people..
Best tip of all...as has been aired already..listen to your gut instinct, it's never wrong :)
Ciao for now
Posted by: MystiSongbird at July 2, 2007 1:43 PM
Greengirl, I couldn't quite remember the words, but yep - that's the song I mean! All about how everyone wants to be flashy and colourful, but how beautiful the green of nature is (I must have imagined the meadows and the fields bit!)
Posted by: Riversong1 at July 2, 2007 1:15 AM
Shybutperky and Riversong1, I used to sing along with my kids, teenagers now, when kermit would do his version of green on sesame street. They didnt sing along with me when I played my van morrison version tho, lol and now they sing brown eyed girl and think its groovie. My versions got oceans and mountains and trees but no meadows and fields tho, probably more than one version. I really enjoy reading the blogs, stay cool.
Posted by: greengirl at July 2, 2007 12:47 AM
Shybutperky:
"It's not easy being green - the colour of the beautiful meadows and the fields..." (remember that song?)
Posted by: Riversong1 at July 1, 2007 8:30 PM
Advice to new comers..... I feel an initial email is great. I would advise to talk on the phone at an organised time as soon as possible. You really do get abit more of an idea about the person. Tone of voice, confidence and conversation flow/topic gives you abit more of an insight into that person than an email !
I feel organising to meet for coffee or game of pool is a good idea. Gives you abit of time to see besides the hopefully instant attraction, that you can guage on if you would like to catch up with this person again.
Short and sweet.... if you like them.. you leave them coming back for more... and if you don't feel it's going so well, you can throw back the coffee or finish the pool game and say you have plans with friends and have to get going.
I have heard so many stories of people emailing each other for weeks even months and then meeting up only to be bitterly dissapointed that the person isn't who they thought they were conversing with via the computer!
The dating service is just that... a avenue to meet people you may not usually come across... not somewhere to hide out and have an online relationship with someone who might not be who they seem!
Food for thought..........
Posted by: oceanview77 at July 1, 2007 6:01 PM
Put a decent photo on your profile and read what you've written before posting it!
First impressions do count (visual and written) and some people don't seem to care about either.
If your photo is so out of focus, grainy or distant, why bother?
It helps when we actually meet that I know who to smile at!!
Posted by: soph1 at July 1, 2007 4:28 PM
SeraphSuzie...Thanks so much for the lovely compliment , blushing as I type.
But I dare say I am just ordinary, and I like being just ordinary.
Posted by: shybutperky at July 1, 2007 10:43 AM
Dayan....
sometimes it's simply about timing...
your profile is articulate, you obviously have a quick wit.
I particularly liked this paragraph
"I "think" before I speak. I "think" before I take action and I hold a very even emotional keel."
Super attractive.....
actually thinking of sending a kiss right now as I type....:~)
However..... you have implied little children are animals, perhaps reword that one?
I reckon you'd have a great smile....a photo of you enjoying life?
Good things are worth waiting for, I think you'll knock the socks off someone special.
Posted by: TrumansCat at July 1, 2007 12:25 AM
Stoic I don't have any stamps and I would have used one on you and may do so as friends... I love chatting to all the bloggers by email ..its more fun than looking for someone!! ;-)
Posted by: SeraphSuzie at June 30, 2007 9:17 PM
Thanks for the kiss SeraphSuzie, and the kind words. I swear all you lovely ladies are going to give me a greatly inflated ego :)
And please forgive the lame-ass response but I couldn't have you spending a stamp on me at my request :)
Posted by: stoic at June 30, 2007 8:21 PM
Dear LurkingAndLaughing..... waving back :~)
Posted by: TrumansCat at June 30, 2007 4:48 AM
Hey stoic thanks.. I sent you a kiss by the way.. should have done that ages ago..hell their free might as well..hehe j/k.
You are a lovely guy... and damn cute to boot!
:-). Well if I was 1000 km closer (or whatever miles it would take) and 50 million pounds lighter ...you would be toast my friend...hehehe. I reckon I could argue with you all night about all kinds of things... ;-)
Posted by: SeraphSuzie at June 29, 2007 9:54 PM
reads fine to me dayan.. =) it's even amusing ;)
a few of those leisure activities would be nice to know though, and type of music at very least would work also
Posted by: shybutperky at June 29, 2007 9:44 PM
I liked your "translations", Riversong1 - here's a couple more:
she says: "I really enjoy my own space."
she means: she's independent and likes her own company
he interprets: "she's a cold bitch."
she says: "Spirituality is important to me."
she means: the deeper things in life intrigue her
he interprets: "weirdo"
for a guy:
he says: "I'm impressive with my rod."
he means: I'm good at catching fish, and I like clever puns
she interprets: "neanderthal peurile idiot"
he says: "I want a woman to treat 'like a princess', spoil and adore."
he means: I've got a heap of love to shower you with
she interprets: "needy - run as fast as you can..."
Posted by: Malsie at June 29, 2007 9:10 PM
If you like Gary Numan, The Cure or Souxie, have me babe...
I'm Easy!!
dayan I have read your profile and it is really good. I suggest however take out any negatives. You just need to be as positive as you can about yourself and your life. This bit 'will probably think I'm pain in the arse' ...negative. And this bit 'currently completely obsessed with how best to fill my leisure time' ..hmmm no other things you do in your spare time? Obsessed is a strong word ..
Maybe just sit down and write a list of all the positive things about yourself...all the things you like ..... And if you can, when you write the list make sure you are relaxed and in a nice place..sitting in the sun..and happy. It may just work. I have to say I helped a fellow blogger change his profile, he had had no luck and now he is off to meet a lovely girl in Brisbane and I am hoping that they both hit it off as much as they have done on the phone and chatting.
I hope you don't mind me using snippets of your profile either. :-) And always feel free to tell me to bugger off hehe ;-)
Posted by: SeraphSuzie at June 29, 2007 8:55 PM
This is what I saw Dayan Your profile is amusing and says nice guy BUT if I was reading as a potential partner there is an undertone of negativity about you.
The headline is different and clever and says "has sense of humour"
There are a couple of lines which I would change or rewrite to make it positive.
Posted by: patience at June 29, 2007 8:20 PM
Dayan - Your profile is not broken at all! I love it and if I were 15 years younger (or you were 15 years older), you would be mine! It reminds me a little of my own attempt at conveying the essence of me via a few words. You are amusing, you are a little cocky (not a bad thing, by the way), and your personality shines through. I am struggling to find anything 'broken' but, as a pedantic and irritating 'typist', I suggest that you look at the lay out and put in a couple of paragraphs. But that is such a minor and inconsequential thing. Honestly, I struggle to see anything that would deter someone with discernment (or not!). Good luck!
Posted by: Ninaschen at June 29, 2007 7:28 PM
geez, I've only contributed a bit to these "blogs", and I think this may be my last post. I realise and did from the onset, that I am much younger than fellow bloggers. I was hoping my advice would help people escepecially those 35+ as I know some blokes from work who have used this site and familiarity with computer etiquite is sometimes a requirement for success. Okay, (I have had a few beers tonight but this is my final blog comment).
I agree with the statement about some people put too much into their ideal partner. I especially hate it when they need someone who is tertiary educated. I rarely come across someone who has gone to university and is more intelligent than me. (I'm sorry for sounding anal, but that is the truth!).
I also shy away from people who want a specific nationality or hair/eye colour.
why is it guys only want sex?
I've been mucked around by a few girls, which hurt, but if I had the opportunity, I wouldn't pass an offer...
Why are we like this?
I've attempted to take advantage of a few girls who gave me kisses, when we obviously had nothing in common, fortunately they all bailed before we even met.
BTW, i'm 28, so I'm nearly as old as you lot :-)
If it didn't take so long for our posts to go up, I'm sure I would have a lot more to say.
night all....
Posted by: emotionally unstable at June 29, 2007 7:19 PM
new members! Old members I need advice on my crap profile. I think its broken.
Posted by: dayan at June 29, 2007 4:39 PM
Kranksy - and some people have only one thing on their mind when they use RSVP ...Sex.
Advice for new members, check, double check, triple check the stories you are told. Trust that gut feeling (God I wish I had listened to my own advice). It is so unbelievably easy for guys (ok, and girls) to be who you think you want them to be - there are some real snakes out there and I think I have met all of them, especially on the gold coast! However, friends have met wonderful genuine guys on here so dont discount the potentials. But trust your instincts.
*waving hello to trumanscat*
Posted by: LurkingAndLaughing. at June 29, 2007 3:48 PM
Well, on further reflection, maybe you don't need to get all that stressed about what words you use in your profile, because whatever you say CAN and WILL get lost in translation on the receiving end.
For example:
She says: "looks aren't important"
She means: it's what's inside that counts
He reads: ugly
She says: "not materialistic'
She means: there are more important things in life than money
He reads: broke
She says: "love to travel"
She means: broaden horizons and experience life
He reads: loaded
She says: "love to go out and have fun"
She means: get out dancing, socializing
He reads: nymphomaniac
She says: "would be nice to have some adult company"
She means: tired of watching Sesame Street and Playschool
He reads: R rated XXX
I'm sure there are equally impressive examples the other way around!
So my advice would be: don't be too quick to judge by every word. Not everyone's good at describing themselves in profiles. From some of the glossiest profiles, I wouldn't recognize the person, yet there are some really nice people in modest ones too.
Give each other a chance by email, voice-to-voice or face-to-face. After all, it's not a profile writing or photographic competition - it's the real person that counts.
Oh yes, and check out all the good advice in the Blogs! (but you're already ahead on that!)
Posted by: Riversong1 at June 29, 2007 12:43 AM
to anonymous blogger who has taken exception to my flirting with bloggers...I must inform you that my comment was not directed to Stoic(nice though he may be)..no , it was directed at all men here...why stop at the bloggers?
The question was "what would you say to a friend who was joining".....
Posted by: patience at June 28, 2007 11:57 PM
Knew what you meant, of course, Wishfulthinker03, and it made me smile!
I too had a few comments from that evening that have disappeared into the ether too, Stoic (along with my name), and not a contentious thing in there! Think the powers that be must have been having a meltdown or something...
Malsie
Posted by: Malsie at June 28, 2007 9:09 PM
Be careful. Everything can be open to interpretation. Don't hurry,trust your gut feeling,morals and values.
You're looking for a lifetime partner (I presume). Do not settle for anything less. Yes everyone likes the attention part. Human nature,we all need that.Some will try and abuse that.
I believe the best indicator of behaviour is history. Ask questions.Someone with a good track record and family background.
Posted by: Genuinehonst1 at June 28, 2007 8:09 PM
I would advise new RSVPers not to be too prescriptive in their 'ideal partner' categories. I think most 'prospectives' look at this as an absolute rather than an ideal. I know that if I come across a profile that states their ideal partner should have blue eyes, I will just move right on (really, does it MATTER??). I have seen a profile with exactly that! Another specified hair colour. Come on! Is all of this really about how a person looks rather than what they are like on the inside? So shallow. So sad.
I find it interesting that I have been 'kissed' by men who have very rigid 'ideal partner' requirements yet I meet few of their criteria (okay, I am female, so I get at least one tick). What is that all about?
If there is something like smoking that you absolutely can't tolerate (I am doing the winking, smiling thing at you Anokayguy!) then sure, put it in but otherwise leave your options open.
Oh, and another thing - I know we are supposed to give one bit of advice but I am pleading seniority (in real years, not blogging years) and I will give two - if you blog and you should be kissed or emailed by another blogger - don't freak out. You have said something that touched them and they are reaching out to another warm human being. I am happily chatting with 5 fellow bloggers and they enrich my life (one in particular has a wonderful sense of humour and turn of phrase and I eagerly await her emails - she knows who she is!).
Posted by: Ninaschen at June 28, 2007 7:38 PM
my advice. be honest, kind(at least reply to a kiss or message even if it's just to say thanks) and always be yourself. but what do i know. nobody messages or winks me. lol don't add a pic if you look like me lmao but seriously. have fun and good luck
Posted by: abrisman at June 28, 2007 5:00 PM
My advice would be to list your photo, make your profile honest and reply to kisses and emails, it is only polite. Also, make sure the photo you list really looks like you.
Posted by: woodnwine at June 28, 2007 10:55 AM
recently discovered these blogs, seems like fun
my advice would be:
*download messenger(msn/windows, whatever)
It is far better than chatting through rsvp, you can share photos and it works a lot better than the rsvp service.
*Put a photo up
* I met a girl once who said she was had an average body type... she was HUGE! So be prepared. I have found most girls i respond to are honest though. My profile states I prefer average/bit overweight.
*make your profile funny. Use some kind of gimmick like a running joke throughout your profile. The people that "get it", you know are already on your wavelength.
*be honest
...that's about it :-)
Posted by: emotionally unstable at June 28, 2007 10:39 AM
Interesting comments. I hadn't read the blogs prior to today (have been a member for about 2 months), but I think I might have to read them a little more often! :-)
I don't think I've been here enough to give much advice, but I can cover a few things I have found...
The biggest surprise to me is how many girls one can send a kiss to - and I do try to pick girls that would be of interest and not just any girl... vs. how few are then interested in a conversing in any way, shape or form.
In my opinion you can't really decide what a person is like from their profile. You can't fit all one's interests in a profile or all the things that make one tick... yet it would seem most don't want to really take the chance to find out. I don't know if I need to work on my profile or if many girls are just very picky on what they do and don't want (maybe even base things on 'hot' looks?).
So I guess my thoughts would be...
1. Don't get too worried when you don't get as much interest from kisses or emails as you expect (it happens to the best of us! lol).
2. Get some friends in your 'target' age/sex group to give you ideas on your profile.
3. Just keep on keeping on until you succeed in what you are here for!
All the best,
Michael.
P.S. Any nice girls on the Gold Coast looking for a nice guy? Feel free to message. ;-)
Posted by: MJgoldcoast at June 27, 2007 11:42 PM
Be careful. Some people have only one thing on their mind when they use RSVP - marriage.
Posted by: Kransky at June 27, 2007 10:57 PM
wow... if stoic isn't having any luck then I think I'll give up now.
I s'pose it's heartening to know that young and gorgeous is having as much trouble as this 50 something jaded old chic.
The best dates I've ever had were the ones where I'd practically given up and went with an "I can't be bothered with all this" attitude.
So I guess that says that things will happen if you don't try too hard.
The other advice I'd give is that a large percentage of men on here are just plain weird. So if you don't seem to be making much headway, remember it really isn't you...it's them
Posted by: suzysure at June 27, 2007 9:58 PM
OMG!!!!! NO NO NOO!!! Just 10 years OLDER!!! I tell ya, wash your hands and you can't do a damn thing with them...Sorry Stoic....and yes Patience you probably did too - oh I feel sooooo bad now :(
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at June 27, 2007 9:20 PM
aww crap - I did respond last night to all you wonderful ladies and your most humbling comments but it appears they have been eaten... if not, the comment approvers need to get organised....
(Is there a more certain way to ensure your comment doesn't appear than by taking pot shots at those who are supposed to approve them? We are about to find out... :)
Posted by: stoic at June 27, 2007 5:33 PM
patience is there a man on the blogs you DON'T want or flirt with? bloody hell.
"I saw him first"...
Posted by: patience at June 26, 2007 10:41 PM
Wishfulthinker03, did you really mean you wish Stoic was "10 years old"!!! That's a worry (those old typos sure put a different slant on things, eh?).
Hey, Riversong1 - what IS it with these pics of men with their fish?? I know it's been mentioned before as a turn off in a profile, and boy, I'm a hundred per cent in agreement on that one! Is it some sort of appendage substitute or something?? Can't work it out at all (yep, especially being a vegetarian!) Have to agree, though, he probably couldn't resist your caption!
Posted by: Malsie at June 26, 2007 9:25 PM
Don't take it "too" seriously! Have fun, have adventures, be honest and respectful.
Totally and utterly agree with shybutperky about not leaving contact for too long and building up expectations that in so many cases are dashed to the ground. Also, for me, getting to hear someone's voice pretty early on is very important (but others may not think that's such an issue).
Posted by: Malsie at June 26, 2007 9:19 PM
SeraphSuzie and Wishfulthinker03 (btw - only the distance is an issue for me ;) - thank you both very much for the kind words.
And Riversong1 - it's not the rejection I can't handle - that is easy. I've got excellent armour against rejection - how do you think I ended up going online ;)
It is the complete lack of courtesy and honesty that really riles me up.
My best three examples:
Cancelling a date 7 hours beforehand with the excuse "My friend needs me and is coming over so I'll cancel now as I don't know if we'll be finished in time". 7 hours?
Then there is the cancellation 30 minutes beforehand via sms with the excuse "My parents thought I needed cheering up so arranged a family reunion". Again, you only found that out 30 minutes before we were supposed to meet?
And my personal favourite - upon questioning the jerking around I was receiving on trying to arrange a second date: "Oh I probably should have mentioned this earlier but I am currently going through a divorce"
Gee, do ya really think that should have come up a bit earlier?
Heh. The topic asked what advice we would give to new members - well there is mine and some of the things I would tell new members to be on the lookout for.
Go forth and spread the word :)
Posted by: stoic at June 26, 2007 9:12 PM
Set up an initial profile with a password protected photo. Don't say much in the categories. Then watch to see who sends you kisses. the first ones will be from the ones who search for new members then send kisses, including desperates and golddiggers in your area. Take your profile off and create a real one.
Then don't bother replying to those who automatically send kisses to new members. Saves time and thought.
That's my tip!
Posted by: funlovertoo at June 26, 2007 8:16 PM
Hey freoishome.....
RSVP is a great tool to expose ourselves to people we wouldn't ordinarily meet (I love stating the obvious) but in the interim, filling life, not waiting but doing.
Zorba's for a boogie.
Fly By Night for excellent live music.
South F Beach to walk the mutt-ly.
Starfish Cafe for dandelion cappucino & foccacias.
Sail & Anchor for redbacks.
That's magic.
Posted by: TrumansCat at June 26, 2007 6:25 PM
Hi all. First time blogger, long time reader.
Some exceptionally wise words written above. Well here's my "two bobs worth"..(tell you something about my age??)
My advice to new members, and I only have only been here 3-4 months, would be;
a) Have no expectations, if you do you will be let down.
b) If you meet someone and you know it's really not working, at least enjoy the moment, as best you can.
c) As with what others have said, "go with your gut feeling" - it's usually right.
d) Be honest at all times, respectful of feelings but honest.
e) Be wary of the "game players" - they can waste a lot of your emotional energy.
f) Even if your personality is one of being naturally trusting - don't.
Maybe I'll add more latter. Ciao.
Posted by: Notfos at June 26, 2007 12:39 PM
Advice?? Where was all the advice when I decided to give this a go...ahh if only I'd had read a few of the blogs penned by Patience and Riversong. Stoic...you little honey..if only you were 10 years old and 5000km closer :)
My advice....don't take it all too seriously. Have a certain amount of cynicism, a dash of curiousity, a heap of fortitude, and let rejection slide of your shoulders.
We are all looking for that dream guy/girl...some of us might find it (let me know when you do and how you did it!!). However, don't drop your levels of expectation, compromise your morals and/or virtues just to be "accepted". (In saying that I vowed I'd never be attracted to a man with a beard....I'm in the process of rewriting that one).
It's like a smorgasbord out there, just choose your delicacy wisely, it might repeat on you for a long time to come!!!!
Most of all, be honest and reply, even if it is in the negative to those that kiss you or email you. I still hate it when men don't reply, yet you KNOW they've looked at your profile (thanks RSVP, I like to know who's been reading my profile).
Enjoy....relax....have fun and who know what tomorrow might bring (a few more worthy reads in the blogs if nothing else).
Posted by: Wishfulthinker03 at June 26, 2007 11:08 AM
Provide an current, sharp, head and shoulders picture and don't hide it.
Be honest; deceiving others only works up to the first meeting, and then the deceit comes to light and it all crashes down.
If you don't buy stamps say so but also say you will buy the coffees and mean it.
If you want a dance partner then join a dance class, RSVP is for lovers and life partners.
If you want a life partner then why be, and look for a workaholic?
In other words decide what is important and what you are here for!
Posted by: Freoishome at June 26, 2007 10:05 AM
I agree with Seraphsuzi - trust your instincts.
I agree with offthemerrygoround - be cautious but available and patient, and try to keep positive.
I agree with Stoic - all that rejecting and rejection makes one's head spin! So you need to take a breather occasionally and develop some resilience.
Now some more advice, for what it's worth:
I think we have to be very careful with the words we use in our profile. Whatever we say, attracts completely different people. I've experimented a bit and have been really surprised how different the results were. A great photo attracts those who just look at the pic (and often don't read the rest). Philosophical blurbs attract people with similar attitudes, but who might not have nothing more in common with your lifestyle or actual interests. Admitting to not being materialistic I think is secret code for looking for the penniless! Saying looks are not important attracts NO-ONE, since it screams you are ugly!
A few days ago I became impatient (since my stamps were about to expire) and changed my headline to "CATCH OF THE DAY, special offer, worth a look". Boy, did I get some bargain hunters then, who must have thought I was desperate! I am a gentle and kind person and an animal lover, but with a headline like that, I attracted someone whose photos showed off the great marlins he had caught (they looked too sickeningly like dolphins!) and listed hunting and rodeos among his sports! EEEEWWW! (to use a phrase borrowed from a fellow Blogger) No offence against peoples personal interests, but it was like offering a juicy steak to a vegetarian! But of course - he was attracted to my headline - what was I thinking!!
So, what I'm saying, if you don't like what you're catching, try changing the bait :)
I think we also need to be careful with the words we use here on the Bloggs. We all have our soft spots and trigger points (including me!) whose threshold might be particularly lowered when one is stressed. To misunderstand and react hastily to what someone has said makes one feel regretful and ashamed afterwards. Better to think more clearly before we speak, and explore what the other person might mean from their angle.
This is a great forum for learning and sharing our collective understandings and experiences, from such diverse points of view, if we all learn to play nice, be kind, and listen.
Posted by: Riversong1 at June 26, 2007 9:11 AM
Stoic... oh so jaded. Has it been such an experience for you?
Makes me feel sad for you.
Posted by: TrumansCat at June 26, 2007 1:26 AM
Keep it light.
Having an inner pressure to find "the one" takes the fun out of the ride.
I have had a "three strikes you are out" rule, I have since scratched that after some of my encounters, it is now one strike.
I reserve the TSYO rule to people who gotten beyond the fence & in to the inner sanctum.
Posted by: TrumansCat at June 25, 2007 11:40 PM
are you sure you want us to tell them?
its kinda like childbirth...best that you dont know what youre heading for before you go there! lol.
seriously, just remember that cos youre honest doesnt mean everyone else is. not to be totally cynical, but you do have to be careful not to believe every word that someone says.
but trust your instincts. if it doesnt feel right, back off.
the way i look at it is, if IM here, then there must be at least ONE of my male equivalents...........right?
so keep the faith!
Posted by: geminikj at June 25, 2007 11:24 PM
The trawlers!
I could have left my profile completely blank and I am sure I would have received just as many inappropriate kisses as I did with the carefully worded one I submitted.
Nobody warned me that I would be targeted because I was new and that many guys (and girls I am sure) just kissed regardless of compatibility.
I also needed to learn not to take rejection so personally. I couldn't figure out why people who were on a dating site weren't taking every opportunity to, er, date. I am not unattractive and I've got most of my ducks in a row...so what was the problem?
Once I started meeting people and sharing stories, I discovered that acceptance (or even acknowledgement) was the exception rather than the rule. Of course now I know that it isn't personal, it just part of the game - although I will never be so rude as to fail to respond.
So what was the question?
ah yes, what would be your advice to a new RSVPer? Beware the Trawlers. Don't take rejection personally or the the profiles of other people too seriously until you get to know them (so many "misrepresentations")..
Posted by: misstepped at June 25, 2007 10:38 PM
Awwww Stoic....wanna big hug? Not everyone is rude...only the majority..hehe j/k ;-)
Posted by: SeraphSuzie at June 25, 2007 10:37 PM
Firstly and foremost keep your sense of humour, your sense of adventure and your sense of fun.
Remember why you joined the site to start with.
Don't give up your principles or make excuses for your choices or preferences.
Don't let our bitter and twisted blogs slant your view on what's what, or on having fun.;)
By all means do the email, phone call and meet thing but don't leave it too long before you meet.
The best piece of advice about this site I received was don't leave meeting for more than a week or two after initial regular communication. It's easy to build up an image of someone via email and phone that isn't quite the same in real life. I have to say that advice has proved to be the best I've had, and has saved me from many possible catastrophies or mistakes.
Be kind to each other and show courtesy.
Posted by: shybutperky at June 25, 2007 10:37 PM
Despite your best intentions and your best efforts to avoid it, you will be on the receiving end of so much BS it will make your head spin.
And if you think you know the depths of people's rudeness, I suggest you think again because trust me - you don't.
Posted by: stoic at June 25, 2007 9:08 PM
My main advice would be not to get jaded. Be cautious but emotionally available. Good things happen to everyone if we're patient.
Posted by: offthemerrygoround at June 25, 2007 8:09 PM
Run while you can... as fast as you can away from the computer and never look back!! hehe...
Seriously though..I would tell people to read the blogs first and foremost.. learn about the people that actually use rsvp..and if you can use 1 stamp to contact someone from the blogs that you feel you can trust and shows good judgement (asking them first of course) and get a little advice. I would also READ every profile instead of looking at the pretty pictures and try and read between the lines. Once you have read a few I think you kind of get an idea of whats what. And do the email, chat, phone and then meet thing...get to know the person before you agree to go out with them and ALWAYS listen to what your gut tells you about someone. :-)
Posted by: SeraphSuzie at June 25, 2007 7:25 PM
Hi guys/girls.... First time "blogger"... The RSVP is easy, be yourself and meet people to be friends. Ive had great... and not so great contacts. Thats life. Out you meet people you like and others you dont, this site is the same.
However the chemistry can be imagined and people only offer the good side they like or want to be... Beware of illusions and have fun... I dont like the prices of the stamps going up..
I dont use the site much and only ever chat to one at a time. That may explain why some people chat to many at once, to use the stamps up befor ethey expire......
Posted by: poeticprince007 at November 26, 2007 11:33 PM