RSVP Blog
Advice to new members.
If you had a friend who was about to join RSVP, what's the one word of advice you would pass on?
Think back to when you joined ... maybe there was something that surprised you or perhaps things didn't turn out quite as you expected?
Posted June 25, 2007 3:07 PM
Latest Comments
Just read a profile from a member that emailed me and immediately discounted him - why? I counted the word "I" 15 times in his profile - it really is all about him isn't it. Good for the newbies to know what turns people off.
Posted by: naudy at November 26, 2007 6:24 PM
be up front and honest, there are people out there who will accept you for who you are, not who you think they want you to be, that includes photos, don't post old ones, it is not a good way to start.
Posted by: paradigm69 at November 26, 2007 5:37 PM
Be up front and honest, regardless of your situation there are people out there who will accept you for who you are, not who you think people want you to be, this includes the latest photo's don't post old ones if you don't have new ones, regardless of what you look like now, you can't hide it and it isn't a good way to start a relationship.
Posted by: paradigm69 at November 26, 2007 5:35 PM
Hi Guys. As a relative newby, i was wondering about the etiquette around replying to kisses. Is it acceptable to ask for the other person to send an email (after all they did initiate contact) or is it my job as the man to pay for the stamps for an email (which is sexist). Some people seem to get quite stroppy about being asked to send an email. Is there some system of sending a second email if you don't have stamps just so I know. I recently replied with the request for an email and heard nothing, so do I reinitiate contact? I don't want to be rude, but the choices of reply we have are so limited and the price of stamps just keeps going up.
Posted by: euthymia at November 26, 2007 3:24 PM
Thankyou very much for your advice guys.
I have changed a few things on my profile. Funny how you don't see things a certain way until someone else can point them out to you .... nicely.
'waterbombe'.. know exactly what you mean. Had one or two of them from here already. One of them even expecting to come before my children. Ha. yeah right. Never happen.
Gee. Where's all the 'good' people?
Posted by: pennygirls01 at November 25, 2007 10:17 AM
yep, I agree with woodnwine, Pennysgirl01- you sound warm, open and positive, but you mention your animals before your children. A guy would expect not to come before your children, but put this way he'd think he's never going to come before your animals. No on wants to be third...just a thought.
Also from one woman to another, can I suggest you take out "it takes me a long time to trust"...I think you are better off sounding positive and strong on a profile in order to deter the men looking for an easy target. There are quite a few of them on a site like RSVP. Watch out for them!
Posted by: waterbombe at November 23, 2007 6:49 PM
pennysgirl01 - I looked at your profile and you seem like quite a nice person to me but I would suggest some re-writing to remove some of the negative things. Don't mention the type of men you are sick of meeting, just the type you want to meet.
Also, I think you make too much of the dogs, men might feel like they would only ever come a close 2nd. I also have 2 dogs that I love heaps but a woman would always come first in my life. Hope these ideas help a bit and good luck.
Posted by: woodnwine at November 23, 2007 11:56 AM
Pennygirls01.. it seems it takes quite a while to get noticed by the clique.. the 'beautiful' people who mostly talk amongst themselves.
I think your profile is great.. it shows you have a sense of humour, that you have a wide range of interests and that you are an interesting person. If I were male and in your age group I would send you a kiss.
Posted by: mushie6 at November 22, 2007 8:08 PM
I've been reading these blogs and not alot of it seems to be about advice for first-timers.
I've already asked a couple of questions here and no-one ever answers.
It seems to be for the same mindless, bored people that have nothing to do than whinge and bitch about how other people seem to be doing things. I would only like some advice on my profile yet only read about people criticising one another. everyone does things differently. Why be so nasty and rude.
Where's the advice?
Posted by: pennygirls01 at November 21, 2007 12:14 AM
people mature at different rates.......................
Posted by: twoeyes at November 19, 2007 11:06 PM
brilliantblue - yes, but only if she was a 37 year old mother.
Posted by: woodnwine at November 19, 2007 12:10 PM
Advice to new members? Be honest in your profile! I've met several people who have lied about their age. Whilst a persons age is not everything, their ability to be honest is.
Posted by: jovial67 at November 18, 2007 11:53 AM
Sexylittleshortly made a comment about old men being placid and boring .. some may be but do not label them all. My late partner was 79 and could run rings around much younger men (in EVERY way). My late father was still servicing his own vehicle and doing solo trips to the outback at 90.
Advice to new members: NEVER give/lend money to someone under any circumstances. Any person, male or female, worth their salt would never ask for it, especially if they truly cared for you.
Posted by: mushie6 at November 16, 2007 7:20 PM
I have to agree I found sexylittleshortie's behaviour quite bizarre for a 37yr old mother!!
Posted by: brilliantblue at November 16, 2007 7:11 PM
sexylittleshortie is a total fake just add her/him to the list
Posted by: thefotografer at November 16, 2007 7:05 PM
Back for more - no 37 year old mother of 3 teenagers is going to go ga ga over some young bloke whose main interest in life is watching crusty demons of dirt and then behave like a schoolgirl on the internet complaining she doesn't have stamps and whatever is she to do. Come on!
Public appology accepted - for what I don't know and for what purpose I don't know either.
Posted by: woodnwine at November 16, 2007 7:04 PM
sexylittleshorty - whether I believe you are a real person or not doesn't matter but when you go on with the rubbish that you were the other day about Jethro the crusty demon of dirt boy then you only show yourself as being a very foolish person and deserve the criticism that you were given by many people.
Posted by: woodnwine at November 16, 2007 6:59 PM
hey there woodnwine id like to say im sorry for going of the other day .. i am only new to the dating thingy lol and all the comments kinda got me going lol so sorry ..shorty!!!
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 16, 2007 3:59 AM
istj54 - yes, it's nice that we are agreeing again. If you recall I also initially responding politely and agreed with you on a few occasions, but then when accusations started flying and you started giving funny replies I joined the doubters. You must admit some of your comments were easy to misconstrue. As far as I recall I was never rude to you though because my current attitude is to laugh at all the nonsense and just make fun of it.
As far as OO goes, can someone let me in on why she seems to think I have done something wrong towards her? Please? I have no idea what I am supposed to have done but she keeps chasing me round in circles. OO - please tell me.
Posted by: woodnwine at November 15, 2007 7:20 PM
I agree, once again, with Woodnwine.....wow, whoda thought?
Definitely post a picture of yourself, without protection, and be realistic in your blogging, just as I was before being attacked as a newcomer just for having no pic.
I suggest you don't blog till said pic is posted because that way you won't be accused of being a bloke or boy, having MPD and a show off if you display any confidence...just the way it seems to be here in blogsville. We don't take kindly to newcomers...and guess what? I wasn't even a newcomer. Only two people made me feel welcome and supported and they were Weta and Ageinghippie, go figure!
Another thing, don't read these blogs as they are full of rubbish and venom being spewed forth by people who then rush off and hide behind their fellow back patters and pretend they never said a thing wrong. They all turn on each other in the end anyway...just wait and see. It happened last night when OO, a wonderful known blooger, became the latest casualty.
I've been here long enough to know all I have said is true, well to me anyway, could be wrong......
Wishingandhoping2
Posted by: istj54 at November 15, 2007 12:37 PM
Well said Woodnwine….absolutely agree!
I am fed up with trying to work out who is genuine….I would like to chat with real people!
Last night just went too far….the person behind “Wackojackaroot” is sick and needs to seek some professional help!
Posted by: brilliantblue at November 15, 2007 12:29 PM
and dont get caught up in all the mindless bickering that is perpetuated by cynical old and mentally ugly people.........................
Posted by: twoeyes at November 15, 2007 12:20 PM
Advice to new members - post a photo (without password protection), write a realistic profile, post proper blogs and be genuine. If you can't do all of the above then why are you on a dating site, go pester people on another site.
Posted by: woodnwine at November 15, 2007 12:06 PM
Hi Susan057
Posted by: miserableoldcow at November 13, 2007 12:18 PM
I wasn't commenting on the age difference, just saying that a 37 year old should know there's no such thing as a free lunch.
Good luck anyway
Posted by: brane at November 13, 2007 12:10 PM
Sexylittleshorty - I tried all that "let's help each other" stuff when I first started on the blogs and just got bashed for it. As I say though, some people on here are nice and you'll soon be able to work out who they are, although sadly a lot of the nicer ones don't bother blogging any more. Good luck with your man and just remember not all older guys go to bed at 7.00pm, some of us lead pretty f...ing active lives. Keep your knees in the wind.
Posted by: woodnwine at November 13, 2007 11:42 AM
hey woodnwine thats ok but seriously i have been put of this site i am discusted at the way everyone picks at each other instead of gettin together and helpin ohh how i love human behaviour
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 11:30 AM
bane who are you to pass judgement i am not a stupid women much to your discust ,my late partner was young he was a terrific man and satisfied my needs mentally sexually and spiritually!! not all young guys are the same ... i witnessed my man die on his motorcycle and he passed away in my arms .... so dont sit there and comment about somthing you asume to know lots about when do not!! i have spent some time with older men whom are very placid and boring infact ... im fairly energetic and i want my man to be able to have fun with me not go to bed at 7.00 pm sorry i say it as it is and i never judge a book by its cover
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 11:27 AM
Hi sexylittleshorty - hey, I wasn't being rude just saying that you seem to be putting yourself through a lot of unecessary trauma. Just buy stamps online using your credit card (it's perfectly safe) then you have 30 days to pay for them. Despite what the devicive istj65 says, I don't have money to throw around either and am not looking for anyone rich but if you really want to meet this guy, go for it. People on here can be nice so give them a go, just remember they aren't all real people.
Posted by: woodnwine at November 13, 2007 11:06 AM
I'm sorry but think for a sec.
Look this is a business. It cost money to run and they make them out of selling stamps, etc . If the 24 year you are chasing can't buy a stamp, that's sad. A 37 year old should know better, sorry but that's life. He's also not even in your state, so its not like all that urgent is it.
Posted by: brane at November 13, 2007 10:54 AM
Hi there. This is a first time for me on blog. I don't seem to get many kisses etc. I'm definately no Barbie doll but still have alot of qualities I thought would be admirable. I have been as honest as possible in my profile and tried to submit relaxed, happy photos that reflect myself. Can anyone pass on a bit of advice please?
Also while i'm having a bit of a whinge, why do men say they want pen-pals/friendships etc but never answer any kisses. I'd still like to meet men on a company basis but it seems that they are maybe only looking for soulmate type material or trophy companions.
Am I past it and no-one does that anymore? I'm a little confused as to what is expected now-a-days. Have I been out of the game for that long? Surely not!! HELP!
Posted by: pennygirls01 at November 13, 2007 10:31 AM
i wouldnt take your stamps i never asked for your charity !! thanks for your rude judgemental comments on a person you dont fkn know right he is just like everyone else on here ohh but i forgot there are a few of you so stuck up in your own arse u cant get back out ..
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 10:28 AM
yeah its ok i guess thats why he is still sitting there on his computer then if hes so fn good why dont u have a rich btch then u coulod leave us alone lol
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 10:22 AM
gees you guys r harsh hey
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 10:19 AM
woodnwine...I think that's a bit "let them eat cake":)
Posted by: funlovertoo at November 13, 2007 10:16 AM
Hmm, I'd give her a stamp just to silence the din, but after looking at his profile I think I understand this a bit more http://images.despair.com/products/demotivators/cluelessness.jpg
Posted by: brane at November 13, 2007 9:59 AM
Sexylittleshortie(hey I am too), Read last night blogs and you will know that Woodnwine only mixes with the rich and famous.
I, on the other hand, do understand the pay to pay struggle. He will still be there at the of the week so don't worry and if he's not, he wasn't the one. Don't keep sending kisses, it may creep him out.
Also, you may have noticed, they are not too friendly to newcomers here.
Kinda makes you wonder why you joined up, doesn't it?
Posted by: istj54 at November 13, 2007 9:58 AM
clearly i would have brought them if i had enough money which i dont untill the end of the week which is not your buisness but i feel i had to say as you making me out to be some kind of yeah i dunno i wont say it here i only wanted some help right sorry i asked
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 9:34 AM
Advice to new members,in fact ALL members.
Be honest,post photo.
Men, writing you want a lover among other things is a big turn off, that all comes with how you get on together, not as a condition.
Girls, NEVER give your hard earned money to him for any reason, after last nights Current Affair I am at a loss as to why you get caught, I have loved a man as well, he asked for money but never got it.
No matter how much you care for him NEVER NEVER give him money, it is a red flag to be afraid of.
So pleeeease girls stay vigilant.
Posted by: horsefun at November 13, 2007 8:45 AM
sexylittleshortie - why don't you just buy stamps and stop going through all this trauma? They cost about the same as 1/2 pack cigarrettes, one drink or enough fuel to drive your car about 200metres.
Posted by: woodnwine at November 13, 2007 8:32 AM
How heavy hangs the emptiness?????
No, daddy, that one wasn't for you.
Posted by: istj54 at November 13, 2007 7:08 AM
sorry;-(
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 7:08 AM
RSVP staff sign on at 0800 sweetie
all der poems probably have to end by then
Posted by: ageinghippie at November 13, 2007 7:03 AM
i think that we should be able to send atleast one email free or im ??? or maybe have a trial period of a week and if you like rsvp then you would have to become a paid member
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 6:58 AM
How heavy hangs the emptiness when your not here,Afteernoon sits so bleek and hollow.
You are not here;how heavy hangs the emptiness, oh god i miss your fullness!
How heavy hangs the emptiness.
The night closes in,brining back such pain and empty spaces,
I know now you are never coming back!the emptiness has taken over the delights of your fullness;
How heavy hangs the emptiness,
as morning draws closer a sudden burst if light,
yet another day with so much emptiness another day has begun ,
with out my asking,moving just beyond my taking;
you did not come, but i knew because of how heavy hangs the emptiness,
and how very much i miss your fullness
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 6:54 AM
sorry about the capps guys any more suggestions on my delema ive searched his name on myspace lol
i tryed adding to hotmail ectttt
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 6:42 AM
THANKS AGEINHIPPIE I HAVE SOME MORE I WRITE EM WHEN I GET ALL ROMANTIC AND STUFF LOL
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 6:39 AM
OMG LOL I HAVE SENT HIM 8 BACK AND SO FORTH LOL HE REPLIES WITH MORE KISSES ITS SO FRUSTRATING
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 6:36 AM
It's for you sugardaddy
Posted by: istj54 at November 13, 2007 6:28 AM
nice poem
Posted by: ageinghippie at November 13, 2007 6:16 AM
sexylittleshortie...send him another kiss. See what happens then.
Posted by: funlovertoo at November 13, 2007 6:10 AM
There is a danger and a temptation of you,
I am drawn to you;In mind,body,and soul.
There is a loneliness to your inner emptiness i feel your solitude!
That is because i am with you just not in a place,
but in your state of mind and heart.
We can; the two of us, can set ourselves free;
From the silence that once held us in loneliness.
There we will be free;
to be alone, as we once dreamed we would be,
so take my hand in yours lets go together,
Onward and outward into the future,
where we can share our heart solitude,
In a life where we belong together for now
and for infinity!
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 6:00 AM
UMMM HELLO AGAIN AM I ALLOWED TO SAY HIS NAME ON HERE LOL IM NOT TO SURE OF THE RULES AS YET .....
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 5:55 AM
Hi guys im new here i really like this site but i am not able to get stamps as yet recently i had a kiss sent to me from a guy i really want to know and hopefully meet ,just getting back into the dating thingy after losing the love of my life in a tragic accident! anyways this guy has no stamps either lol someone help me pleazzzzzzzzzze going crazy is littleshortie thanks alot
Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 13, 2007 5:52 AM
What happens when someone sends you a kiss and you go to reply and they are gone? Bit of a mystery to me.
Well, anyways, thanks for the kiss thefotografer, but I can't reply except here to say thanks for the compliment.
And Brane, I would have to kill you later, but thanks for the kiss too.
And lastly, but certainly not leastly, Woodnwine, I'll kill you if you tell, and thankyou for the bella compliment.
Posted by: istj54 at November 12, 2007 10:04 PM
Be honest about who you are. Be honest about what it is you are looking for. If you post a photo, ensure it is current. Afterall we don't like surprise ie someone who don't look a bit like their photos on RSVP!! Be polite. Respect others' profile - read and understand what it is they are looking for. Always reply to all interests, even if you are not interested. Do not invite someone to send you an email if you are not in the least bit interested. Treat others how you want to be treated. Be prompt. Reply to all interests on a timely basis. Exchange initial emails, talk on the phone. Don't wait too long to meet face to face. Again, be honest, if you don't gel, it's okay to say no as long as you are gentle and kind about it. There is more to RSVP than finding a long and lasting relationship - there is such a thing as friendship and we should all consider this as a possibility and a plus..... one can never have too many friends who have a care for us.... there are some wonderful people out there!
Posted by: meiqui at November 11, 2007 9:47 PM
Hi
I'm a bit slow - is there a hidden meaning to listing the movie 'Shawshank Redemption'.
Thanks
Posted by: crystal58 at November 9, 2007 11:52 AM
AGGGH im being ignored. I didnt mention i sleep with my cats and I havent got any kisses. Why is yhis so. and I changed my photo for a better one......
Posted by: amozonite at November 8, 2007 3:29 AM
Ta graceandcharm at November 7, 2007 10:07 PM, but I didn't twist myself in knots.
I just responded out of kindness to another blogger.
Like you said, experience is the best teacher and I vaguely remember someone's profile saying something like, if mistakes are another word for experience, I've got it in quids. -Me too. :)
I also like the saying that foresight is much better with the benefit of hindsight.
Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 8, 2007 12:50 AM
Thanks so much to Woodnwine and Ornamentalonly for your words of encouragement.My advice comes from a fair bit of "learning from my mistakes".Nothing like experience as being the best teacher.It has made me finally reach a point however where I now know what I want in a partner.(I so love the freedom of my single life in the meantime).
To Ornamental only re your blog of Nov 7,I too have twisted myself in knots and very much regretted responding to men without a photo/password.I think a photo is such a basic requirement for communication on this medium,adding just another piece to the puzzle of the person you are communicating with.
Posted by: graceandcharm at November 7, 2007 10:07 PM
Advice to new members.
Be careful of revealing personal details.
The following was posted in The First Phone Call by: chad1958 at November 4, 2007 9:16 PM -
>"how miserable is a man who complains about the cost of a phone call to his women"
is possibly, making a little more sense to me now...
After this character from Queensland emailed me direct (without a prior VK and my acceptance) to request my pic, then sending further emails (where I did give him access to my silhouette gallery pic only) and he declaring:
>"ive just met a women with brains and beauty great pics i think im in love"
and after me being gently humorous with my circumspection ("do you always work so fast?") and finally mentioning I made an exception in his case by accepting his contact because he's a blogger as normally, I will not engage with a pictureless profile (he said he was unable to post a pic)
and I also mentioned...
>"But I must admit, that I am a tad wary of any contact I receive from Queensland, as I hope you will understand.
I also, when approached by someone without a pic and particularly when from another state, will not engage in chat. I made a concession with yourself as you have blogged.
>But, I'm still cautious.
>And trying hard to stop a twitch developing, when I receive contacts from Queensland males.
>Just can't help the Aussi humour breaking out... :)"
--------------------
He then replied by talking about his dog Rocky and swore in his email to me (fellow bloggers would know my views on that) talked about being drunk, passing out on his couch and finished by an incorrect attribution to me with his statement/question
>"why dont you like qld men?"
My reply simply was:
>"As I said before: I'm a tad wary of people with no photos and making contact from the other side of Australia."
chad1958's reply was even more simple and quite abrupt....
less than two hours later, his profile was deleted. (Former member appearing in my inbox.)
Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 7, 2007 12:07 PM
jenjennyjen at November 3, 2007 3:55 PM, I think you have a wonderful profile and can't see how it could be improved on.
But perhaps male bloggers could give their perspectives.
Anyway, welcome to the blogs jenjennyjen and I liked your post dated as above.
As with your post too graceandcharm, at October 31, 2007 10:52 PM, all the points were absolutely spot on.
Best wishes to you both and it will be good to see more of your blogs.
Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 6, 2007 11:44 PM
what is it with you ladies, it seems the shorter u r the taller a partner u want. we all know size does not matter, quality far outreaches quantity. while im having a bitch, whats happened 2 etiquette if some one sends u a kiss RSVP if its only 2 say p.o.q. good nite sleep tite
Posted by: krustycrab at November 5, 2007 12:05 AM
graceandcharm - good summation.
Posted by: woodnwine at November 4, 2007 11:39 PM
I am new to the 'blog'.
I agree with quite a few comments made by other members. It really is difficult knowing what to expect. In one's profile should we lay our hearts open? Give our faults? Or assume the I am absolutely perfect persona? I am 52, and as I have on my profile 'young at heart' - will people take that as I giggle at everything? Like eating fairy bread? Or shall they look at it, in the context it was written - I don't do needlework, wear elasticed waisted jeans or have a shopping trolley? The profile - such a difficult daunting piece of written work- should one say a little or a lot?
I for one would like to chat for a while and yes to see if that 'chemistry' is there, however I have found alot of men 'get tired' of chatting (even after one or two emails.
Replying to kisses either positive or negative is a must and in my books seperates the wheat from the chaff on the etiquette stakes.
I wish all of you good luck in finding what ever you are searching for. If any one has any tips on my written profile - I would be interested in hearing from you.
Thanks for reading.
Posted by: jenjennyjen at November 3, 2007 3:55 PM
To "Stormtrooper" October 29th, complained about people not replying to anemail.
My advice to him, is if you change that agressive ,mean photo of yourself, you may have more luck!
Surely you must have a nicer photo somewhere?????
Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at November 1, 2007 3:39 PM
Cheers from a virgin blogger.....(my first time to blog).I have learnt so much about the dating process since joining RSVP,and grown as a person as a result.My advice to new members would be:
1.Anyone not willing to respect you enough to show you a photo,email you,phone you and then arrange a meeting(if this is what you need) is not worth it.
2.Don't "chat" or email your life away to someone you may end up not getting along with at all once you meet him.
3.Go with your gut feeling(they say your stomach is your "second brain").When you meet someone the chemistry must be on both sides,no point in forcing it.If its not there,its not there.Move on.Count your blessings.Don't you want someone who is "into you"?
4.Beware of dating separated people,they need time to heal.
5.Go on a date expecting nothing more than you may have fun and learn a little about someone else's life and career.If you go out expecting to meet your soulmate you will be disappointed.
6.Give yourself a break from RSVP now and then,don't let it consume you.Refresh yourself.Join a club and get to know people slowly over time(the best way).
7.Always be true to yourself and don't lower your standards.
8.Never take a date home on the first date(I learnt the hard way).If someone seems too good to be true they probably are.
9.No matter how despondent you get realize that the safest place for your happiness is in your hands.
Cheers and good luck to all...
Posted by: graceandcharm at October 31, 2007 10:52 PM
Beware of the people who,
"doth protest too much",
or in other words, advise against things they themselves are guilty of.
Signed by,
A Dinky Di Blogger.
Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 31, 2007 9:38 PM
My advice to new members is toi be wary that there are some boring, self-absorbed, self-centred school yard bullies on the chat boards who think that they own the place!
My advice tothe new bloggers is don't let them scare you off the site, and just you carry on makingposting for the sane normal people to read
Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at October 31, 2007 4:47 PM
Stay positive! Don't let the bad experiences get you down. Not every kiss will get a reply, not every email will lead to love. And accept that some first meetings will be about much fun as tetanus. There are some great people out there, so don't let the ba...errr bad guys get you down.
Posted by: tangoorcash at October 29, 2007 11:44 PM
I agree with stormtrooper.
If I get a kiss reply asking for an email, I can only assume it's a very rude person who can't even reply.
This does seem to happen quite a bit so there there must be a few ladies who are just here for the ego of being contacted.
Posted by: notallmarriedorgay at October 29, 2007 8:53 PM
WOW� I thought this section was about what advice you would give to new RSVP members and those checking out the dating scene online and all I got from it was confusion about women being #2... I don�t really know what that means.. In my household it is usually means the toilet stinks!
I have only joined this thing about 3 weeks ago and actually really enjoy reading what people have to say about themselves and what they may want from a partner and I am always really flattered by getting sent a kiss�I have ventured out with one guy on two dates which I think made both of us refine our wants just a tad (to far away means you can�t just call in and have a cuppa) but he was a real gentleman.
I guess the only problem I have with the whole thing is when you get the reply about them buying stamps to contact you soon and then there is no contact! It is a little disappointing especially when you liked what you saw. But I really think this is a fun new way of dating from the safety of ur home.. Defiantly beats meeting men at a pub who can barley stand let alone speak!
Posted by: dottmyeye at October 29, 2007 5:08 PM
Greetings all,
My advice to new members is;
If someone actually spends time and money sending you a email at least have the common courtesy to reply. Even if that person isnt your "ideal" prospective partner, be honest and inform them of that fact with some manners.
There are alot of people in here with unrealistic expectations.
Fair is fair and play fair.
regards to all
Posted by: stormtrooper at October 29, 2007 4:46 PM
notgodsgift, #2 are the best sort, but the least common, the more valued for being rare. I think #2 are #1.
fotografer, why would you think the women any different to the men? Maybe you should come up with a list and I"ll check it for accuracy...play nice though...like i did
posted by: Waterbombe (was Mysticocean in a recent pastlife)
Posted by: waterbombe at October 29, 2007 4:33 PM
mysticalmansions
would you mind classifying the women for me and then I can match it against my long list failures
Posted by: thefotografer at October 29, 2007 3:56 PM
hey MysticOcean,
Dont know if I like the connotation of being a #2, but always hope that I am (in the sense that you use it here anyway, and not the other)!!!
Bobbie 1952,
You couldn't be more correct - its not quantity we want as honest guys and girls, its quality.
My personal view is that to find a partner, you really should know yourself first and, no matter how attractive the photo, dont go there if you think that you dont fit in some way - experience here - a lot to be said for "gut" feelings.
Bob
Posted by: notgodsgift at October 29, 2007 3:16 PM
Be cautious giving out too much personal information straight away. I do sincerely believe that most of the people using this site are open and honest and genuinely good people but there are a few who spoil it for others. Just be aware, like anywhere in life keep your wits about you, after all you wouldn't divulge every little personal detail on first meeting in any other social setting so why here. Take care everyone and enjoy the experience
Posted by: iaminperth at October 28, 2007 8:23 PM
The Man in Black is Back.
Check:
Does Hollywood Influence Bad Behaviour?
-at October 24, 2007 10:02 AM.
Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 25, 2007 11:26 PM
Honesty, honesty, honesty. Mention up front that you're in love with your pet axolotl and it'll save a difficult scene later. And use recent photos. Of yourself :-)
Posted by: tangoorcash at October 25, 2007 12:39 AM
be yourself, enjoy and prepare exciting adventures with wonderful new people. Oh and don't let the tyre kickers get you down!
Posted by: whatcomesnext at October 24, 2007 6:05 PM
my advice would be to at first dont trust everything or anyone until they have proven otherwise.I have been honest on my profile but have met some guys who are totally not what i expected from their photos or profile.
But have also met some nice guys who are now friends.
I think the key to it all is to do with expectations
YOU CANT EXPECT TO HIT A HOME RUN EVERYTIME YOU GET UP TO BAT!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: sweetpisces21 at October 24, 2007 4:32 PM
The best advice I can give comes from my personal experience on RSVP. BE HONEST!! I posted my profile with brutal honesty not expecting many responses, if any at all and have met some beautiful (not just looks) women here
Posted by: bobbie1952 at October 21, 2007 9:06 AM
Hey folks Im a newbie here and love reading the blogs. i havent written much in my profile as im not too sure what to say and I dont talk about myself much unless ive had afew too many. So some feedback would be appreciated. chat later. amozonite
Posted by: amozonite at October 19, 2007 4:11 PM
Advice to new members - Women, watch out for the lecherous men on this site. Men, watch out for the nasty women on this site. Everyone else is safe.
Posted by: woodnwine at October 18, 2007 10:09 PM
RIP The Man in Black? - maybe there is no need for new members to be wary any longer. Goodbye Man in Black (all of you, now you will have to just enjoy your own company Earl).
Posted by: woodnwine at October 17, 2007 12:11 PM
Woops, can I say "added to what I said below..." I have also found this site to be a good place to make friends with whom there will never be any chance of forming a "relationship". If not for being part of RSVP I would never have made these new friends.
Posted by: woodnwine at October 17, 2007 12:06 PM
Hey mysticocean - not a bad summary at all. I would like to think I am more of a No 2 than a number 1. I think only in an extreme case would I act like a No 1 (hasn't happened yet). I have heard however that there are a lot of No 3s out there. You would think as you mature you would be looking for more than just sex but apparently not.
Posted by: woodnwine at October 17, 2007 12:02 PM
added to what I said below...I meant to say that a lot of people are somewhere in between types #1 and #2. Those are the two extremes in my experience, and I was surprised by both of them.
The players are in a club of their own, a guy seems to either be a player or not. I suspect they are the men who have put sex and love in completely separate boxes in their lives, and all a woman can ever expect from them is sex. She'll never get love from a player because that particular box of his is empty. He ain't got none to give, as the song goes. Watch out for them, because RSVP is the players' playground.
Posted by: mysticocean at October 16, 2007 8:34 AM
Ed, I had to log in 7 times to post this- why does this happen? Is it because a lot of people are tryng to post at once and the sytem fails?
Posted by: mysticocean at October 15, 2007 11:29 PM
For older people, here's what I learned from my experience. (As a woman). Don't assume this site works the same way as real life. This is virtual life. So when you find someone you like, tell them you are new to this and ask them what they usually do when they have found someone they like, so at least you know what they expect, and don't inadvertently stuff up. There are three basic types of operation here:
#1: Some people think even one email is a committment to a relationship and expect you not to kiss or email anyone else until you have met them, and they may even expect you to take your profile off after one date. They see you as unfaithful if you don't. Woe betide you if you don't behave like them - they can just drop you without warning for "infidelity". #1 don't really get on with #2, because....
#2: will email 4 or 5 people and go out with them all for weeks. They won't necessarily tell you they are doing this, and they are not sleeping with anyone, but they treat this site as a place to meet people and then they take their time getting to know you. They don't hit on you for sex and it's not because you're unattractive. It's because they are looking for a genuine relationship (I'm writing for older people). If you took your profile off after one date these people would be astounded. These people are a bit hard to distinguish from #3 at the start, because they are on the site a lot, emailing, so this leads us to #3...
#3 are the players and sleazes who are seeing heaps of people and trying to sleep with them all. At first they are hard to distinguish from #2, because they are on the site constantly, but as soon as the sexual innuendo starts (and it will start almost immediately) you know what you are dealing with.
Figure out what your style of operation is and talk about it openly as soon as you find someone you like, but be prepared to compromise. People have habits and expectations, and we are all very different.
Don't know if it works this way for younger people? Any comments?
Posted by: mysticocean at October 15, 2007 11:20 PM
Woops Mr ED - I just congratulated you on another blog that they seem to be working better so I was already signed in and blogging then I came to this blog and had to sign in 5 TIMES! When I was already signed in and blogging! What the?
Now I've forgotten what I was saying (must be over 45 dementure setting in - take not ladies I am OLD). Oh, that's right, I was going to warn new members not to take The Man in Black seriously, some members have and it isn't worth it.
Posted by: woodnwine at October 15, 2007 11:46 AM
New members - I suggest posting a photo and except in extreme circumstances I don't understand why everyone doesn't, but if you don't, make sure you write plenty of info into your profile. It really makes me wonder when I see a profile with no photo and almost nothing in the profile. What are we to judge attraction and compatability on? Intuition? Eenie, meenie, minie mo?
Posted by: woodnwine at October 11, 2007 11:16 AM
NursiePursie on October 10, 2007 2:56 PM
-you really are going to frighten off any genuine Newbies wanting information.
After all, not everyone is used to your particular style of satire, are they?
Or, your misogyny where you have to pin a certain male's approach on the opposite sex.
Now why don't you take your pills like a good old nursing home inmate and give some young ones a chance at retaining their solid food, while searching online.
Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 11, 2007 3:46 AM
The topic was "Advice to New Members", woodnwine :)
Happy Hunting everyone!!
Posted by: wraecca at October 10, 2007 2:10 PM
Come on ED - had to sign in 3 times again!!!
Anyway, just wondering what was the topic again? Very few blogs have anything to do with topics anymore.
Posted by: woodnwine at October 10, 2007 7:56 AM
Re posting by: wraecca at October 9, 2007 7:54 PM and her warning on multiple profiles.
Here's one example, demonstrated and duplicated many times over.
My, my, my....two different profiles in Biggest Turn Offs : Butts, Bad Breath and Smoker's Kisses, on one day from:
ramsteinafb at October 9, 2007 10:45 AM (an oblique reference to a former failed trip buddy?)
to,
nurseandpurse at October 9, 2007 7:07 PM.
-Maybe he was feeling a little worn out by all his personality changes, the poor old thing.
Or maybe, he's smoking something? (Former blog topic appeased!)
He does seem however, to have progressed somewhat and stopped waiting for the "crumbs" to come his way and now is declining into nursing home dribble.
BUT, still obviously flaunting exhibitionistic tendencies by giving the usual loaded hints as well as finishing the so obviously farcial nurseandpurse with,
Other interests:
"I have an extensive stamp collection (an alternative to his steam train dvd collection, one of his usual indicators of obsessiveness) and like to walk through rainforests cataloguing all the known varieties of toads and marsupial insects".
This character, besides making deliberate errors with facts, consistently shows no inhibitions proclaiming his delight in revealing private conversations.
So I'm sure he won't mind some more of his confabulations (made up imaginary experiences after loss of memory -in his case, a sign of ageing?) being outed, even though their details do echo with monotonous and hollow regularity:
nurseandpurse,
ramsteinafb,
tequieroputa,
Excaliburwhet,
comeplaytrains,
noiceguy1,
RodeoKill,
RodeoRoadKill,
Lee Van Cleef,
MidnightCowboy69,
EarlWyoming.
As well as, lest we forget, redhat posted on Dontdatehimgirl.com.
It appears there is more than a broken leg feeding this character's boredom and penchant for dissociative behaviour.
A pity he doesn't know when to stop and actually do something constructive with all this spare time he has in his declining years.
Hasn't he heard of what most, normal grandfathers do with their time?
Or even, that old fashioned word, "etiquette". (Another relevant topic.)
Dictionary definition:
Etiquette n. conventional rules of personal behaviour in polite society; ceremonial of court; unwritten code restricting professional persons in what concerns interests of their colleagues or dignity of their profession (esp. medical, "legal", etiquette).
Okay, breaches exhibited on all levels, particularly in real life as an ex-professional and supposed descendant of a pedigreed lineage.
-One would wonder with this supposed lineage, whether his biological father was never married to his mother, thereby proving this character "aint no gentleman" as well as the other, obvious trait he demonstrates so well.
Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 10, 2007 1:48 AM
hehe just think that overflowing of the kitchen sink could turn into a tidal wave when you make the pic's public :-)
Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 9, 2007 11:47 PM
Wah ha! Call a woman gorgeous in a public blog and YES! - she suddenly gets... well, not an inundation, more like the overflowing of the kitchen sink... but several kisses in succession.
Thanks SeraphSuzie, I owe you one. :D
Posted by: prettyasyou at October 9, 2007 11:32 PM
hi... amready2meetu from Perth. Why put your profile on RSVP and then choose not to receive kisses?? I would love to kiss you, but I cant!!
kisses from lipsticklips!
Posted by: lipsticklips at October 9, 2007 11:30 PM
Well I think when you do make your photos public you will be inundated ...and you should be now anyway... :-)
I wonder if I slipped in my email here anyone would notice? hehe JK Ed ;-)
Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 9, 2007 11:27 PM
*blush* THANK YOU!
Why hide my pix? Long story (see? we can chat here!) but it basically involves a small town where gossip is SEVERE and an ex who helps spread it. By and large I don't care what people say about me, but I still have a young kid who might one day hear this kind of tripe about his mum. When I move back to Melbs (hopefully within the next few months) I'll make the pix public. :)
Posted by: prettyasyou at October 9, 2007 11:22 PM
Oh my goodness prettyasyou.. your gorgeous... wow!! Don't hide your photos!! And thankyou :-) And see I always reply.. hehe :-P
Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 9, 2007 11:14 PM
Why, thank you! And stand by. :)
Posted by: prettyasyou at October 9, 2007 11:04 PM
Ahh no probs prettyasyou... And I guess a lot of men don't like voluptous women.. so hey thats cool.. I am not for everyone. but thankyou so much for your compliment.. I tried to peek at you but yours are hidden.. but I love your profile though!! very clever!! :-)
Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 9, 2007 10:58 PM
Hee hee. No woz, Seraphsuzie, it was a joke. Hence my wish for a rolling eyes smilie along with the other smilie face!
Although... I'm pretty sure that's what I discovered today when I trawled through the Top 100 for the second time since I've been here. I'm pretty sure the guy who didn't reply would be pretty busy! But I'm surprised you're not. I saw you there, btw, AND checked you out. You're beautiful in every way I can think of.
Posted by: prettyasyou at October 9, 2007 10:52 PM
hmmm prettyasyou .. probably not a good idea to make assumptions like that.. I am in the top 100.. and am definitely NOT deluged with kisses..I have sent probably three times as many kisses as I have received!!.. AND I reply to each and every kiss or email I receive.. :-)
Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 9, 2007 10:34 PM
hi out there.
how this for a new blog
first meetings.what not to do
things like moble phone,meeting friends at the same place as your first meeting.things like that.
i went for a coffee for a first meeting.lasted for just under a hour
there must have been at lease 12 calls and txt in that time.
i end up leaving half way thought one of the calls.
mind you they were friends calling.
and i never take my phone with me if i am going to meet some one it stays in the car.
any way what your pet peev.
thing that will kill a meet
.like nose picking,farting you know what i mean.it might be helpfull to some one some day.seeya
Posted by: friendsfirst64 at October 9, 2007 10:30 PM
thelynathdiary
"An intimate relationship to a man is sex." What - all men? Biological determinism? I must be a genetic aberration then, because I don't see sex as the only manifestation of intimacy - nor do many mature males I know. The pitfalls of making statements that inaccurately ascribe traits to gender have been well observed here and in myriad sociological literature. Beware the sweeping generalisation. Perhaps you meant to say "some men" rather than "a man"? Cheers.
Posted by: theundertoad at October 9, 2007 10:13 PM
Thelynathdiary - you have a knack of coming to the point that I fumble around. I am not always able to articulate the thought-kernels that bounce around in my head. You hit the nail on the head on that one. I, agree, I don't believe all men that mention various forms of (or their definition of) intimacy in their profiles mean to be sleazy (though some obviously do). But it can be interpreted that way by many women and invoke the 'eeww' reaction.
So fellas, give this some thought. If you allude to things sexual in your profile and you are just looking for a 'bonk' keep it the way it is. But if you are looking for a more meaningful relationship with a woman with standards, scrutinize your profile and do some editing!
And welcome back, Patience.
Posted by: ninaschen at October 9, 2007 10:02 PM
Wraecca, thank you....
as a new member i had no idea what to think reading many of the comments, so thank you for the perspective.
I've been on here for a few weeks now, i done more messaging than i have received messages. Its not easy but i've been keeping my mind off the immediate thought of "holy crap, i haven't heard back from them, they must hate me.." by remembering the rest of my life doesn't stop because i don't get one email.
I've got work to take my mind off things, now i have my band to help take my mind off work and any niggles that come with being single for as long as i have been (which would be.. well... lets say i've never Not been single...).
I hope im striking the right balance, i guess i'll see eventually..
Posted by: spunkydrummaboy at October 9, 2007 9:25 PM
LynathDiaries,
On behalf of the 130,000 of us sleazes, my sincere apologies for having been born in 1969. I could have ended my profile with "38" but then I would be a liar come next July.
Maybe check first, and if we're 37 or 38 then do us the courtesy of NOT assuming that we're boring and unfaithful?
Posted by: andyv69 at October 9, 2007 8:49 PM
Hang on hang on hang on... here's a good one:
If you don't receive a reply to your kiss, check to see whether the person in question is in the Top 100 in his/her age group. If they are, this means that are being deluged with contacts and can afford to be picky and not worry about answering pesky kisses from us mere mortals.
(Insert a rolling-eyes smilie here.)
:)
Posted by: prettyasyou at October 9, 2007 8:23 PM
Oh, and one other thing to watch out for - those 'profiles' on here that are actually one person creating new ones over and over again. In the last week or so, I've counted one blogger with at least 6 different names. Don't pay attention to anything they say.
Posted by: wraecca at October 9, 2007 7:54 PM
Newcomers to RSVP
Don't get sucked into all of the vitriol posted on the blogs.
Walk away with your soul intact.
Remember all of the people who have responded positively, and try to forget those who hang you out to dry.
Don't wear your heart on your sleeve; protect it, but also let it feel the glow that positive influences such as TheLynathDiary, woodnwine, Ninaschen, AuntyKaz, SeraphSuzie, funlovertoo, OrnamentalOnly, TrumansCat, BrushKestrel and others share with us.
Don't take the horror of the blogs to heart; you'll burn out, your soul will shrivel, and you'll be too afraid to trust anyone that your special someone will pass you by.
But lastly, don't do what I did. Don't start to care too much about the community in the land of blog, don't bear their crosses for them, don't let yourself become distressed over the hatred that some people continually spew forth.
May you find the strength to carry on within yourselves, and may the hope and faith that you carry in your hearts burn ever brightly, never diminishing, but lighting the way for love throughout the rest of your lives.
Wraecca.
Posted by: wraecca at October 9, 2007 3:58 PM
3rd sign in for the same post ED!!!
thelynathdiary - very good point about men coming out of marriages that offered little in the way of intimacy. Maybe they don't mean to appear sleazy but don't want a repeat (non) performance. Definitely food for thought and I must check my profile. Good feedback for new members and old members to be aware of.
Posted by: woodnwine at October 9, 2007 3:36 PM
Agree Ninaschen..an absolute turn off. It is so disappointing to see the sleaze factor appearing in profiles or even in the profile names. How many guys just happen upon the numbers 69 in their name
"a maz on 69" etc etc whatabout "Legover" yuk! It is a shame because often they are otherwise not bad profiles. Like Ninashcne I won't respond to them favourably because I am concerned that sex is the only thing they think about and so would be boring as a companion in the long run(and probably unreliable in the fidelity department once the initial novelty had worn off)
I am not sure ,but I think this is mainly a thing with men in the older age groups and my theory is that they have probably come out of marriages which were lacking in sexual intimacy by the end and are terrified it will happen to them again, so they feel the need to mention it in profiles. I have recently read a couple of profiles which demand the prospective partner likes 'regular intimacy' or "lots of loving" or " must enjoy frequent cuddles" which to me sounds more like a job interview and somehow creepy. I agree with Nina intimacy develops with the relationship and does not need to be spelt out.
I am also amazed at the number of men(and probably women) who confuse sexual intimacy with plain intimacy in the sense of sharing all aspects of life together.
An intimate relationship to a man is sex. An intimate relationship to a woman could be time shared doing the dishes or the garden or just watching that pesky Shawhank movie on the couch.
Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 9, 2007 12:01 AM
Hi WoodnWine – I have read quite a few men's profiles that use the words 'massage', 'intimate', 'stroking', etc. etc. Some use the words subtly, others don't. Either way, I move right on.
In my mind, alluding to such contact in a profile is sleazy. And sleaze is a huge turn-off. It makes me gag. I am by no means a prude and I can even be raunchy (yep, everyone, even geriatrics indulge in a bit of ‘raunch’, every now and then) with the right person. But I don't know these people. They are total strangers suggesting they give great massage or whatever. It reminds me of men who rub themselves against unsuspecting women on public transport.
I love massage and intimacy and stroking as much as the next person but that comes in time, as a relationship develops. It doesn't need to be spelt out in a profile.
So in answer to your question, from this female's perspective, I don't think I read between the lines too much. What do others think?
Posted by: ninaschen at October 8, 2007 11:28 PM
Well, Chad, you took notice, so that's one right there! Besides, I'm enough of a bigmouth to go on and on even when no one's listening. :)
Posted by: prettyasyou at October 8, 2007 7:57 PM
Hi all, I'm back from holidays, (yay!)
To funlovertoo and anaturallady regarding EarlofWyoming, I wrote on this blog regarding the information that he had written up on his profile, before it was hidden/removed. I realise he may/may not have resided in a prison/psychiatric hospital, and he may/may not have resided in Brisbane, but the place where he stated that he was residing is in Brisbane. But if he's back here on RSVP, as long as he isn't here to string people along, I don't care either way. It is his life, who am I to judge?
Into the issue at hand, to those new here on RSVP, don't be discouraged. Be honest, be genuine, and even if you don't find a partner, you will find out about the kind of person that you actually are. So don't be disheartened.
Well, I'm going to have to go, I have an extremely woozy cat attacking my leg (I have to drug her when we travel, poor thing), and yowling at me. She's tired and cranky, just like a little baby.
Take care all, and Happy Hunting everyone!!
Posted by: wraecca at October 8, 2007 7:00 PM
blueblueeyes.. I think you are being a little bit general in your 'facts' ie ... "facts are women are attracted to trim /healthy/fit /muscular/ men as Men are to slim Ladies. Men ARE more visual, (thats how we are built) where Ladies can be pursuaded by a number of ways.....humour (make love to my mind and my body is yours) power, money, position, influence, religion,apart from similar intersts, and more." I for one am not just attracted to the way a person looks... I really don't know where you got your facts from but from my point of view (and please notice I said MY) your wrong.. You really have a thing about people who aren't slim don't you?? I have a good male friend.. who is sexy as hell.. and he adores my curves... There are men out there who don't like skinny, slim women, there are women out there who like larger men, there are women who love skinny men, there are men who love skinny women. Remember its all in the chemistry ..and what might be attractive to one person, may not to another..regardless of what size they are!! :-)
Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 8, 2007 6:17 PM
this is the 4th attempt but to blueblueyes and prettyasyou great advice but dont hold your breath waiting for anyone to take notice
Posted by: chad1958 at October 8, 2007 5:42 PM
I actually like the hint of a goatee, that 4 -5 day growth as long as its nicely groomed. Also like bald heads, guys who are thinning on top look sooo much better with none. Only my opinion fellas and not set in stone..........k
Posted by: auntykaz at October 8, 2007 5:42 PM
Funny... I've been a member since February, and I still feel like a rookie at all this. So not sure what I'm doing handing out advice, but here goes anyway.
I think the best bit of advice is what was given to me back then by an older friend and mentor: "Go into this with no expectations." So far it's been the thing that's buoyed me above the disappointments and also helped me be open to all kinds of people.
"No expectations" does NOT mean "no hope". Of course there's hope - hope is a particularly beautiful part of our human emotions and I personally don't want to know anyone who is totally hope-less - but it should be tempered with a dose of reality. Internet dating is not the holy grail of relationships. It's merely a natural extension of our lives because the Internet is such a big and inescapable part of it now. When I look back the real live 3-D friends I've made in the past 10 years, I can see that a decent percentage of started off as Internet friends, so it made sense that I would use the Internet for dating as well.
"No expectations" does not mean expecting less from anyone, either. When I mentioned to my last RSVP relationship that I expected nothing, he said, "Well, that's not true. You're entitled to expect respect, for a start." I said, "I don't even count that. If you were in any way disrespectful, we wouldn't even be having this conversation."
The second thing I'd advise is 100% honesty. Hell of course we're all going to highlight our good points and avoid talking about our bad ones, that's part of the deal here. But there is NEVER a good excuse to lie. Beginning new relationships is difficult enough as it is without adding to it the stress of sustaining lies. It doesn't matter the lie: even the tiniest one throws your entire integrity into question so that people inevitably wonder, "If they lied about this, what else have they lied about?"
Posted by: prettyasyou at October 8, 2007 5:00 PM
re:nicepackage1 at October 4, 2007 9:59 PM
Yes, what an appropriate profile name.......your profile is short, but concise,....just like good pair of Ladies swimmers, short enough to create interest, but sufficient to cover all the vital areas, without hiding her points of interest completely .....grin lol....awww is this sexist??in case sorry..
How is my profile written? Could it cause offence?
other discussions
With reference to the discussion about men asking for sex on the first date...I think this is a dead giveaway, show him the door...there are women on this site who are after nothing more than casual sex with as many men as they can con.If a female wants sex on the first date, not too many men will complain, if they accepted the offer. This site has been a real education for someone not used to the subtleties and rules for combat in the single scene on the 'net.
Trying to sort out who is fairdinkum, and who is just a player, is a problem.I have had a lady in my shop, waiting for me to close so I could take her home, on our first meeting. I had no doubt what she had on her mind. I didn't go.You will notice I am fairly specific on my profile...After meeting some Ladies on this site, I refined the profile after each meeting..80% of the ladies I have contacted did not look like their photos, were not the age stated, were not ready to start dating, smoker,or were emotional cripples.I have had contact from ladies as young as 33 to 70..have returned the kiss to all.but only go out with ladies that fall in my set criterior.
I have noticed that many people are making decisions based on fear...fear that the same thing will happen again...fear that they lack confidence in their own judgement...fear that they may make the same mistake again....fear that he may be this or that....
or married.Make INFORMED
LOGICAL SAFE decisions, I always give my home and work numbers because I have nothing to hide.There are SOME questions that have to be answered, get his business card,if your are not satisied, vote with your feet.
Weight....facts are women are attracted to trim /healthy/fit /muscular/ men as Men are to slim Ladies.
Men ARE more visual, (thats how we are built) where Ladies can be pursuaded by a number of ways.....humour (make love to my mind and my body is yours) power, money, position, influence, religion,apart from similar intersts, and more.
If you are happy with your life as it is....don't change, anything. However,if you are not happy....it may pay to reconsider, or consider where you are currently going, or what you really want.Winging doesn't cut the mustard.
Ken
Posted by: blueblueyes at October 8, 2007 2:34 PM
Two bits of advice - for what it's worth ;-)
1) Join RSViP - the improved functionality makes it worth while - as in the ability to say "hi" instead of some asinine pre-fabricated templated comment; and
2) Don't try and update your profile on a Sunday and expect it to take effect any time soon there-after.
Regards - SK
Posted by: serendipitouskarma at October 8, 2007 11:24 AM
There seems to be a lot of talk about men suggesting sex on their profiles. I thought this was actually against RSVP policy and would not be posted. Are people just reading between the lines too much?
Posted by: woodnwine at October 8, 2007 10:10 AM
monkeysrule - fantastic profile mate, well written. I do think many women don't like beards (maybe a blog topic etitor?) but you will have to accept that it is a numbers game on here. The success rate on here is very low from my experience and people I know who are also on here. Many peopel expect too much and are quite superficial, men and women.
Posted by: woodnwine at October 8, 2007 10:09 AM
My advice to any new comer on this site or other dating sites. Sus ppl out before meeting them in person. Give out your email address but dont give our your home number or mobile. There are alot of dishonest ppl who hide behind fake profiles on here and other sites. If the ask you to lend them money, dont do it as you wont see your money returned. This has happened to someone I know on another dating site and he has never seen the money returned.
If you get a reply that says thanks but no thanks, means you arent what they are looking for, just delete it and move on. Some ppl are worth talking to on here and some arent.
Posted by: singlelady37 at October 7, 2007 10:15 AM
I am trying to work out why my honest and open comments never appear on the blogs. Am I too honest
[Ed: Sorry nowfeelinggood - the only other comment we have in the system from you is in the Got an Idea for a Blog? section, which will not be published, since it's a pool of ideas we use to decide what the next blog entry will be. If you had any others you submitted, I'm afraid they didn't make it into the pending list....]
Posted by: nowfeelinggood at October 6, 2007 8:41 PM
FROM "Somelifeinmeyet", I agree totally with what "nicepackage" said about what guys shouldn't write in their profiles.
They also sound desperate for sex......like that they have been going for prostitutes up until now, and suddenly can't AFFORD it anymore, and are thinking to themselves..."Quick, I'd better find a loose moralled woman quickly for casual sex..I think I'll join a dating site."
This is a bit INSULTING to the women on here, that sex mad guys, think that this is the place to find a woman, when so many women on here like me are genuine and serious about finding "the one".
From "Somelifeinmeyet"
Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at October 5, 2007 3:05 PM
To Troublesomebutcute.
I would really be interested to know what you consider "Too good to be true"
Posted by: smackthat1970 at October 5, 2007 2:23 PM
wraecca...have heard from another blogger that Earl is/was not in prison!
I guess you could say he's gone through a re-emergence and is in our midst on other blogs.
Posted by: funlovertoo at October 5, 2007 1:59 PM
Oh..and I forgot to mention that I have kissed boys who replied favourably and I have then sent them emails and never even received a reply...so it does work both ways - just treat it all as fun and a learning curve and dont take things too seriously...cheers RYRT
Posted by: ruvyourongtime at October 5, 2007 10:05 AM
Hi there Monkeysrule and all you Men & Boys out there!
I'm not one to normally participate in blogs but was so disappointed to hear so many woman were not replying to kisses - I am embarrased and just want to apologise on behalf of the Venus Society...its so wrong.
Monkeysrule - your profile reads just fine, I think its great to add extra info about yourself (I have but I have tried to keep it light-hearted!)
If a girl does not have the decency to reply then clearly she is not worth getting to know her and karma will come back and bite her on the tusch at some stage...take care RYRT
Posted by: ruvyourongtime at October 5, 2007 9:55 AM
i WOULD SUGGEST TO A FRIEND WHO'S ABOUT TO JOIN THAT THEY KEEP THEIR LITTLE HEART PROTECTED FROM THE RUDE & IGNORANT PEOPLE WHO EITHER DON'T RESPOND TO KISSES, OR WHO RESPOND WITH LIES. i'VE REALISED HOW DISRESPECTFUL THIS SOCIETY HAS BECOME FROM BEING ON RSVP - IT'S SCAREY!
Posted by: mrsbubbles1 at October 5, 2007 8:41 AM
Wonder how many times I'll have to log in before I can actually post!!!
For those who are "new" to this, be honest, upfront, and leave out the bare chested, motorbike and dead fish photos....girls are usually not at all attracted to those. Be careful too of the "gives good massages" tactic....we know what you really mean....leave it out, could be a pleasant surprise down the track!
Write as you'd speak, it's a dead give away when contact is made that you are not what you are perceived to be.
Golden rule - if it is too good to be true, it usually is :) Be prepared to get a lot of rejections before you find something worth pursuing....don't lose heart, it's all in good fun!
Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at October 5, 2007 8:13 AM
Hey Monkeysrule.
Great profile. I think you have done the right thing with your profile. You will find women respond to a sense of humour, intelligence and a personality. Women are generally very perceptive creatures and will be able to “read between the lines” of a profile of someone who is not genuine.
In contrast, men are more obsessed with how the women look. I think many of us guys are guilty of not reading a profile. Unfortunately, although it is, in my experience, the exception rather than the rule, even some women are also fairly superficial. Move on from them, you don’t need a “diva”. Trust me, I’ve been there, dated them and now ignore them!:)
Mate my suggestion is to stay away from the ones that are “too good to be true”. If they were that good then why are they here seeking a partner!?
If you stick it out with the same profile some lucky gal will get you. Go hard and stay at it!
Cheers
Troublesomebutcute
Posted by: troublesomebutcute at October 5, 2007 3:06 AM
...ask for references!
Posted by: missterious75 at October 4, 2007 11:10 PM
I'd just like to suggest to guys - when writing your profile don't go on about "sex", "tactile", " good lover" etc - we can find that out later - complete turnoff. And photos sporting no shirt!
Posted by: nicepackage1 at October 4, 2007 9:59 PM
monkeysrule,
I checked out your profile. What you wrote looks okay, but personally I'd have to say that for me I prefered the photo without the beard (As I said - that's just me). Don't take the apparent rejection on this site too personally, it seems to be petty much the norm. So keep your chin up and keep trying.
Posted by: fefa63 at October 4, 2007 9:09 PM
I typed this but it disappeared, so I'm doing it again...apologies if it's here twice
Monkeysrule..you seem to be an attractive, intelligent, thoughtful, sincere guy, but I think you are right...you are going to have to lose the photos. And probably the beard. I reckon women don't like them, generally speaking. What do other women on here think? Here's my two cents worth...take new photos sans beard, delete the glamour shot, and the reference to liking monkeys (that's odd), and then watch the kisses roll in. You deserve someone as intelligent, warm and attractive as you are. Experiment with different photos and see if it increases your chances! Good luck!
Posted by: mysticocean at October 4, 2007 7:08 PM
somelifeinmeyet.. keep using my name on the blogs and I am going to have to start paying you for the publicity... hehe :-) have a lovely day btw!!
Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 4, 2007 2:22 PM
First time blogger so forgive me if what I say has been said elsewhere.
Somelifeinmeyet has pointed to the one thing that many forget.
Internet dating attracts people from all walks of life, from all social standings and therefore provides an opportunity for us all to connect with people we wouldn't ordinarily encounter in our day to day lives. Human behaviour is so very interesting.
I have replied to kisses only to discover the guy either removes his profile (or blocks mine) and never to be heard of again. Like many others I have sent kisss that have gone unanswered and best of all had emails send on the strength of a positive kiss response that have gone unanswered.
To all those men, all I have to say is that I thank you all because you are clearly not the man I want to invite into my life. Common decency is less common than we would all hope.
So to all new members I say:
Watch the Chasers, have a laugh and chill.
Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed.
Enjoy the journey and take from it what you will.
Respond to all contact with integrity and honestly.
Get out and live. Having a loving partner isn't the be all and end all, just one of lifes bonuses.
Phew, I feel better now :-)
TC
Posted by: teasea1 at October 4, 2007 12:32 PM
From "Somelifeinmeyet"..I love that tv show "Chasers War On Everything" on the ABC, and now there is a new contender, "Suprise Suprise Gotcha" on channel nine at 7.30pm!!
Plenty of pranks, to see how people react.
When I was doing Sociology at university, our tutorial did a great psycological prank for an assignment,(it was compulsory)....One in our class dressed up as a middle-aged overweight homeless woman (including dried food on her face , and holding bottle of alcahol)..stood outside Woolies at the Town Hall in Sydney, and over a period of hours we were to observe what happened as people walked by. (What they said, what they did, did they look at her or ignore her etc;)
After a long period of time, I spoke to her about how convincing she was , and to keep it up. A man who had compleytely fallen for the disguise, came up to me, to discourage me from talking to her, and said that she only "wanted money for the drink" and not to give it to her.
After her he left we laughed, with amazement at how convincing she was.
(Pity that it wasn't filmed as well, for future students)
For me these tv shows tap right into my interst in human behaviour, and they are both funny and sad at them same time.
(Likewise thes blogs tap into my intersts in psychology and sociology too, to see how people treat each other here, and even how I was attacked recently by "Seraphsuzie", on these very blogs!
Someone should write a thesis on this site!! LOL!!!
From "Somelifeinmeyet'
Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at October 4, 2007 10:47 AM
monkeysrule - agree, success rate on here is appalling but what are we to do, give up? Personally I don't understand it but there you go.
Posted by: woodnwine at October 3, 2007 9:49 PM
Some of these posts have been very reassuring - its not -just- me!
>RULE 2 - Be prepared to only have a 10% or less succsess rate.
I have about a 1% success rate with kiss replies, and would appreciate any advice anyone could give me on my profile (monkeysrule). I tried to make mine very heartfelt and open, but don't know if I'm scaring people away (one look at the photo and RUN!) or if I'm just being too honest, too quickly. Any suggestions anyone?
Posted by: monkeysrule at October 2, 2007 6:54 PM
From "Somelifeinmeyet" Great tv show on ABC "The Worst Jobs in History", today it was about tudour times..shows jobs that you would never would have thought of, and "well, someone had to do it" .The host tries them out, even dressing like the old days.
Some of the jobs were very dirty and smelly, and the poverty stricken were the unfortunate ones to get stuck with them.
It is sickening and yet funny at the same time. (The host is humorous).
It is a series, so if you missed it today,you may catch another one next week.
From "Somelifeinmeyet'
Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at October 2, 2007 4:03 PM
To wraecca:
Re: earlwyoming,
just because he stated in his profile he is from Brisbane doesn't necessarily mean he is from there...blimey he could be from Timbuktu or in the next street!!!!!!!!!
Since he has hidden his profile or rsvp his deleted it he may do a comeback under another.
Posted by: anaturallady at October 1, 2007 8:15 AM
Dear SomeLifeInMeYet
I have a "primrary" school mind
I also have some wonderful nude photos of someone skinnydipping- which probably goes to reinforce my "primrary" school mind.
Posted by: excaliburwhet at October 1, 2007 7:02 AM
I thought it was just me that had bad luck with RSVP! But I feel better after reading all the blogs - men do just judge on looks and never give women a chance, if they thought smarter they would be so much happier. Their loss. There are women out there who aren't Julia Roberts but are great and beautiful in their own way, as all my friends are. Good luck to us all.
Posted by: fluffybunny1972 at September 30, 2007 8:42 PM
From "Somelifeinmeyet"..My advice to new members would be to read the blogs FIRST before responding to anyone, or sending them any kisses (and being TOO friendly)as its there that you may really discover what they are REALLY like...ie: Pathological Liers, and those with primrary school minds!
There is one "kiss" that I would DEFINETLY like to TAKE BACK!! now I know what she is REALLY like!
(Perhaps they should have a "kiss" that says...."I have made an error of judgement...know I know you are mentally ill, I wish to take that "kiss" back!
(Someone has also indicated to me, that this woman is also "Known" on another web site..and has been a problem there also)
Be warned new members!
From Somelifeinmeyet"
Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at September 29, 2007 1:52 PM
My advice to newcomers is not to take online dating too seriously. Just have a little fun with it. It you meet someone nice then that is great but be prepared for a lot of fake or exaggerated profiles! If you want contact from other members then you need a good photograph! Profiles are important but people do judge a book by it's cover! Good luck with your search.
Posted by: appleofyoureye at September 29, 2007 1:12 PM
Is not noiceguy1 and comeplaytrains the same person??????????
I guess you can have multiple profiles and therefore multiple blog names after all if l am correct in my assumption.
You never know by the time this gets updated he may well have 3.........k
Posted by: auntykaz at September 26, 2007 9:57 PM
To Somelifeinmeyet, regarding your blog on September 22, 2007 11:05 PM.
EarlofWyoming resides in Australia, in fact, he is in Brisbane. When I looked up his profile after his *response* to a blog that I posted (both on September 18 2007), it in fact stated that he'd put in that he was in a State-run facility. I do not know whether he has hidden his profile, or if RSVP has had it removed for possibly that reason.
I looked up where he said he was residing on the internet, which is how I know about the place he claimed to be staying in.
I am not making judgments on why he is there, if in fact it is true. I was a little concerned as well, but as someone who has known people who have been in prison/psychiatric hospitals, I try not to judge, because you don't know what has happened or why they are there.
Back onto the topic, I have previously stated what I believe to be 'Deal Makers' and 'Deal Breakers' on profiles, and I stick by that. Honesty is extremely important, *especially* on an internet dating website such as RSVP. Without honesty, we are back to square one.
On a last note, I won't be blogging for the next week or so, as I am going on holidays. So, to all of you out in the land of blog, take care, have fun, and play nice!
Happy Hunting everyone!!
Posted by: wraecca at September 26, 2007 9:28 PM
Hi Chyna. I am a single mother also. I am a student, but do not need nor want another person's money. I don't want anyone in my kid's lives and I don't need anyone. I joined this site because I want to have someone in my life, certainly not because I need someone in my life. It is unfortunate, but even away from internet dating, there is an assumption that single mothers ought to be appriciative, perhaps even grateful for a partner. Saying that, I understand why some people are wary of single parents, that is why I have made my poistion clear on my profile. I am not convinced that if I had no children of my own I would want to be involved with someone who did. It is far more complicated than a regular relationship.
It seems inevitable that there will be a large proportion of single parents using sites such as these since the opportunities for meeting people in a traditional setting are minimised when you can't go out after dark quite as often, if at all.
Those are my thoughts on it anyway, they are a little broken, but I hope they made sense.
Posted by: infinititely at September 26, 2007 12:08 PM
To Parklife
what an interesting comment from you regarding non replies to emails. Because how long have I seen you on the Top100? Months!!! Which indicates you have been getting emails yourself over time...so why are you STILL on the Top100? Are your contacts just ALL below par? RSVP is a very strange world....
Posted by: bloggersgetreal at September 26, 2007 9:17 AM
Dear Mrs SomeLifeinYouYet
Would you be my mummie?
Posted by: comeplaytrains at September 26, 2007 8:05 AM
From "Somelifeinmeyet"..In reply to "Chyna1"..has it ever occurred to you, that guys that don't like children are just jealous of the attention that a woman gives her children???...(they just want ALL the attention on them????)
I know some childless guys like th
Hi guys/girls.... First time "blogger"... The RSVP is easy, be yourself and meet people to be friends. Ive had great... and not so great contacts. Thats life. Out you meet people you like and others you dont, this site is the same.
However the chemistry can be imagined and people only offer the good side they like or want to be... Beware of illusions and have fun... I dont like the prices of the stamps going up..
I dont use the site much and only ever chat to one at a time. That may explain why some people chat to many at once, to use the stamps up befor ethey expire......
Posted by: poeticprince007 at November 26, 2007 11:33 PM