RSVP Blog

Blog now closed; thank you for your comments!

Posted by: rsvpproducttest at November 27, 2007 8:55 AM

Hi All,
I not going to comment on the profiles of others but instead ask if there is any where to get feedback on my own profile.
This is the 2nd time I've been on RSVP.
I've done my best to fill it out in detail but get no kisses and most of mine are ignored whilst the rest are knockbacks.
I had some photos on the profile but they look cruddy so I took them down. The current is old but I can easily say I don't look any different other than a slight tan and longer hair.
I've had 2 interested but haven't heard from them after the initial contact.
I seem to be that guy who gets told he's a great guy etc. You know how it goes. Honestly I'm starting to think most women on here are shallow and use the "Looking for a nice guy!" line to try and make themselves look good.
Anyway I'm not here to whinge.
Any thoughts will be appreciated.

Posted by: lensbaby at November 26, 2007 9:45 PM

Whilst spelling is not necessarily that important, that which is; and which causes a significant "turn-off" effect is discovering that the photgraphs used on the individual's profile are quite old and are not truly representative. I have found on several occasions that the photographs used are of a person several or more years younger than the individual really is and effectively the use of such bait does result in loss of the catch. I am told that this applies to both men and women using this service and i do believe that there should be provision for anonymous reporting of such practice. No relationship can be expected to be successful if the foundation is not built on trust.

Posted by: denpeter at November 24, 2007 8:02 PM

The problem, Mr. Kool, for those accustomed to playing with their train set, is they just go round and round in circles.

Posted by: onlinedatingguru at November 18, 2007 3:27 AM

Thedatingexpert(guru come Earl) When was the last time you went on a ral dat, buddie? Was it human or just another figment of your imagination?

Posted by: jpkool at November 18, 2007 12:53 AM

Aside from a nice pic, the main thing I look for in a profile is a hint of personality. I know this can be a difficult thing to convey in such a short space, but when achieved, it makes the profile a pleasure to read and certainly gets my interest!

Posted by: jovial67 at November 17, 2007 8:37 PM

Thanks for that, lorainer (I like that name - it suits you somehow). I'm glad you're still coming on Dec 1 and looking forward to meeting you too.

You wouldn't know my new "playmate" as he's not actually a blogger, just happened to read them once when he first joined rsvp, looked at my profile, I spotted him and grabbed him before anyone else got their hands on him as I was his first and only contact really!

I hope you have/had fun at the beer garden and found a stray youth or two! We had a hot day yesterday, but back to the heat pump again now...

Posted by: malsie at November 17, 2007 7:08 PM

Hi Malsie,

Sorry if I disappointed or confused you. The remark about trust was directed at RSVP as I lost my instant posting rights after changing back to LoraineR. That was my original name last year. I've actually had four now but can't see a problem with that.

I love your postings too...I don't think at any stage I have written with any other voice but my own. Others just don't take that much notice. I've never tried to be a different personality but was very quickly accused which became kind of interesting to me, especially since I thought I knew these people. It was fascinating really but was not my intention. For that I am sorry. I did become a wee bit naughty because of the reactions, but promise not to again.

I'm looking forward to meeting you, Malsie.
ps.Can you tell me who your new playmate is, or at least give me a clue? Sorry again.

Hot in Melbourne today so I'm now off to a Beergarden to try to recapture my stolen, or is that lost, youth? Maybe just a youth will do....hmmm.

Posted by: lorainer at November 17, 2007 6:06 PM

lorainer, i totally agree. I am also looking for the one. The Spark, the butterfly feelings in my stomach!.

I have been out with a lot of men this year, and have tried up to the 3rd ot 4th date with a couple of guys, but it never happened for me. I figure if it is not happening by then, then it won't.

Until the guy that I have just started seeing, so taking baby steps at the moment.

and there is still love and romance out there in the world, tomorrow i am going to a wedding, the guys 4th, and the ladys 2nd. (I am taking a positive spin on this, u know summer lovin) have a lovely evening all....jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at November 17, 2007 5:52 PM

lorainer, I don't if my comment directed to you below is what you were referring to by "they" trust you again or not. If so, will just say that when you were isj - truly can't remember the name now, but the last blog name you had, I never directed a comment towards you, never gave a damn about seeing a photo and all that rubbish, and mostly skipped over all that stuff because it was of no interest to me.

The whole multiple personality thing going on here has me kind of baffled. I know it's entertaining for whoever is engaged in it (must be or why be doing it?) but I just don't get it, so don't go down that road. There's been some amazingly creative profiles appearing, I've thought, of late, however, and I've found that rather entertaining (rather than those who are trying deliberately to spread an atmosphere of animosity as has happened previously).

I too have a fascination with the human psychology side so can see why someone might want to play with that a bit and see people's reactions, but it's not my style to do it myself. The whole paranoia angle is intriguing too and I've seen a few times how that's manifested here and how quickly.

But myself I'm pretty straightforward and just haven't seen the appeal of getting overly involved in all the ins and outs of who's really who and what they're up to. I find it strange.

I always liked you as WnH2 from what you had to say, and half the stuff that spins off out of control on here I have absolutely no idea where it originates or what's motivating people sometimes.

Posted by: malsie at November 17, 2007 5:48 PM

I know I said at least, well many, times that I was going and wasn’t having fun anymore but hey, call me a masochist……maybe call thefotografer a mysoginist…
I’m going to try to answer some of themechanics queries or puzzles about “some” of the women on RSVP. I can, of course, only speak for myself but I’m sure there are other women out there who may agree with me on this.
Yes, we are in our fifties…this is true…..we have much life experience……I’ll just talk about me now so as not to generalise. I can’t speak for anyone else.
I have brought up two beautiful semi-grounded adults and made an executive decision not to date during this time. I did date a little bit when they were young but never involved the children. When my son was an adolescent he made it clear he would not take kindly to me dating, enough said there. I didn’t date.
I got along fine and had a great life, successful career, lots of friends, good social life, no money…whatever, you get the picture. I’m a happy, grounded person, still am.
Two years ago something, or should I say someone, happened in my life that made me think that I should be looking for my special someone. I said something there that is very important in this- “special” someone. That is what I am looking for, just one man, the one for me.
I joined RSVP and began a series of dates/meetings with a series of lovely, interesting, gorgeous men. However, none of them gave me a spark. They were not that special one that I was perhaps, unrealistically, looking for. Am I a bad person, or insincere, because of this? Should I just keep dating these men knowing it will never happen, or am I more honest not to see them again or lead them on in any way? I would have been wasting their time and that is not ethical in my book.
Think about this thefotografer when you start making assumptions about women on this site and their sincerity.
I’ve been burned by players here too, but at the end of the day we are all grownups and able to make our own decisions about what is right for us.
We are all just here (or I am) to find one person, the person who makes our hearts sing and gives us that butterflies in our tummy feeling.
Doesn't make us princesses...

Posted by: lorainer at November 17, 2007 4:45 PM

I believe you can buy stamps one at a time on those glasses.

Posted by: lorainer at November 17, 2007 1:32 PM

LMAO, dammn I missed out on those sunnies, and you better believe that someone somewhere is out to get you somehow.

Have a nice day

Posted by: brane at November 17, 2007 1:04 PM

Lorainer

It's not that they trust you.

It's that they have all headed off for Parramatta wearing their $2.00 CIA special sunglasses (which also double as internet dating raybans) to discuss the latest in conspiracy theories.

Posted by: onlinedatingguru at November 17, 2007 12:42 PM

Wow, they trust me again and sooooo sooon.

Posted by: lorainer at November 17, 2007 12:28 PM

One more funny story to share….Earlier this year I was to meet up with a very nice man….said he was 58 and had good pics…finally got to said meeting and there he was looking like his pic’s dad. I froze but quickly said to myself, “You can do this, be pleasant, have a nice dinner (I always pay for myself, by the way), and you’ll be home before you know it.”
That is what I did…he did take the liberty of ordering for me…told a friend about that one and she said, “That’ll be the end of him then…”
Anyways, we did have a great dinner with the bay as a backdrop, Princess of Tasmania leaving, moon etc, good conversation yada, yada, yada…Then HE goes to the gents. Upon his return he asks, “ Well what now?” I go into my speel about thinking about it for a few days and then deciding, when he looks at me and says, “Well I can feel absolutely NO CHEMISTRY AT ALL!!!!!”

I just burst out laughing and could not stop…he ended up paying for dinner, he insisted, and inviting me up to his apartment (which incidentally turned out to be right next door to the restaurant) to meet his little white fluffy puppy.

NO I didn’t go. I got into my car and like many times before asked why I am doing this to myself.

Posted by: lorainer at November 17, 2007 12:27 PM

3.75% educated women (1.25% educated men, incidentally)

So there are 3 educated women to 1 me. Alas that means that 96.25% of the women here aren't going to like me. Didn't I say that in my first profile :) Hmm, no w it seems to get reviewed regularly too, funloverlover2. I'll have to write them offline and cut and paste.

Posted by: brane at November 16, 2007 9:38 PM

onlinedatingexpert

thanks for the heads up on dating.
I think I will leave the educated to play with their dirty socks and stocking by themselves on any night of the week.
i surely would not like to spend my time and money on someone who spends more time in the ladies toilet preening herself than she spends eating the food and drinking the wine.
Although, there is a positive in that.
I get to slurp my wine,soomp my soup use the bread to soak up the sauce and perve on anything on two legs including the pidgeons sitting on the balcony and i guess that would be the highlight of the evening apart from leaving while she is in the little ladies room.

Posted by: thefotografer at November 16, 2007 9:10 PM

lorainer, for what it's worth, there's no issue of "trust" involved for me with you, and still hoping to get to meet you!

Posted by: malsie at November 16, 2007 8:41 PM

onlinedatingexpert -
I loved your post and your profile. Thanks for the laugh, and great to have another intelligent contributor to the blogs.... welcome indeed.

Posted by: malsie at November 16, 2007 8:38 PM

Chain smokers, cult members and profiles that read more like a terrorist list of demands are a big put off, but the real deal killer is the "princess syndrome".

You have the princess want to be's. Either they were very spolit by their Fathers or are living in an imaginery world. Also if we were all tall, dark and handsome we would have no need to be on RSVP. Prince Charming is a Disney character! Anyway that's my opinion, regards Shrek.

Posted by: muttley1967 at November 16, 2007 1:36 PM

Smokers, cult members and profiles that read more like a terrorist list of demands are a big put off, but the real deal killer is the "prince syndrome".

You have the princess want to be's. Either they were very spoilt by their Fathers or are living in an imaginery world. Also if we were all tall, dark and handsome we would have no need to be on RSVP. Prince Charming is a Disney character! Anyway that's my opinion, regards Shrek.

Posted by: muttley1967 at November 16, 2007 1:30 PM

ditto WB ditto............

Posted by: twoeyes at November 16, 2007 11:42 AM

Dear intelligent young men,

My belief is that impeccable spelling/grammar on a profile is necessary but not sufficient to land an educated woman -- i.e., shocking spelling/grammar is a deal-breaker, but perfect spelling/grammar alone isn't a deal-maker. (The beauty of my argument is that educated women will have to send me a kiss to contest my point. It's these smooth tactics that make me the dating expert I am today.)

As for tossing in a few polysyllabics in an attempt to nail the deal, BIG MISTAKE! Less educated women seem turned off and intimidated by "nerdy big words" (nerdy big words being anything excluded from the Macquarie Children's Dictionary). Given the usual online-dating demographic of 3.75% educated women (1.25% educated men, incidentally), this translates to many lonely Friday nights finding new things to do with an old sock.

So how to reach both crowds? Well, the first trick is to keep the perfect grammar/spelling, because the less educated women won't question perfect grammar/spelling (the reason being that they'd have to recognise it as such to question it, in which case we're usually dealing with educated women). The second trick is to dumbify your vocabulary and diction. If you need help dumbifying your vocabulary and diction, there are many options available. Contrary to the popular belief shared by many other so-called dating coaches, studying the impromptu conversations of George Bush isn't a good way to do this, for what usually happens in that case is that the dumbifying encroaches upon other life functions and reduces you to a walking vegetable. A better approach is to study the malapropisms of Mrs. Malaprop in the 1775 play The Rivals by Richard Brinsley Sheridan. Failing that, another good approach is to drive by primary schools in a makeshift ice cream truck so as to lure the fifth-graders out for a little game of ice-cream-for-profile-paraphrasing.

Good luck getting those foxes, guys.

Another proud production of
Online Dating Expert.

Posted by: onlinedatingexpert at November 16, 2007 10:53 AM

Oh no, I've just realised that the coffin will be empty on Saturday night....*sigh* ...oh well, back to my little hobby friends....

Posted by: waterbombe at November 16, 2007 7:52 AM

Weta, your (emailed)apology for your duplicity as a double is accepted with thanks. There is no need to post a public apology at all. Let's just let it go and remain friends.

Posted by: waterbombe at November 16, 2007 7:38 AM

yes, that's true, brane, but that high-level talk occurs between two consenting adults such as philosophers or physicists.

On this blog, Weta talks to ordinary Australians about dating. The concepts aren't too difficult, and plain English would do the job very well.

The sort of language Weta uses is exclusionary - it makes some people feel inadequate because they don't understand it. They feel that it is 'over their head'. It's not necessary for Weta to do this, and he probably doesn't realise he's doing it, but he could communicate his meaning with half the words he currently uses and be much more effective.

Tip for Weta- stop slashing /////// One word will do. We're not that picky, remember that it's a dating blog, not a policy document.

Posted by: waterbombe at November 16, 2007 7:24 AM

Double standards sure are a turn-off for me or in topical terms, a deal breaker...
I never ran two profiles, just changed my name/screed. I don't see a problem with running two. I've even read to do that but I would get confused and I am confused about RSVPers enough.
I've also read to change what you say too.
I shouldn't have done that as now I am not trusted anymore.
Trust, now there is another dealbreaker/maker.
Who will it be in the coffin on Saturday night?

Posted by: lorainer at November 16, 2007 6:16 AM

hi guys i just wanted to say thankyou to notgodsgift for helping me with a problem i had the other day your a very nice person to help the way you did!!! your a star thanks maybe one day i can return the favour when u need it xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx mwah tracylee A.K.A Shorty...

Posted by: sexylittleshortie at November 16, 2007 3:34 AM

I'm sorry waterbomber , but that is a sign of intelligence. The ability to have a conversation between two people over someone else's head is right up there with humans evolved capacity for deceit, Did you like Tina Arena's In Deep

Posted by: brane at November 15, 2007 10:49 PM

And another thing, the obfuscatory language you use, Weta, is not a sign of intelligence. It takes ten times longer than normal to figure out what you actually mean. But perhaps you are hiding behind words as well as behind profiles?

Posted by: waterbombe at November 15, 2007 10:31 PM

Double standards anyone? Weta blogs simultaneously for ages with two profiles, doesn't tell anyone, has had a go at me for having two profiles ( I honestly don't know how you had the nerve, Weta), and no one says anything? Doesn't it strike you as a bit hypocritical given the hard time given to istj54 recently?

Posted by: waterbombe at November 15, 2007 10:29 PM

Oh no, we've been invaded by Monty Python quotes and references!!!! AAAAHHHH!!!! Why hasn't this happened earlier???
-maniacal laughter-
I unclog my nose in your direction, you sons of a window-dresser.....

Posted by: wraecca at November 15, 2007 8:47 PM

Hey notgodsgift!
Leave my mate Weta alone! :~)

Kindness himself. Understanding his wordy wanderings do elude me at times.... but I know I can count on him to listen & be a good friend.

Thanks double O for your ongoing positive feedback re my writing, however when we hit the town I'll totally dissolve THAT picture of me.
LOL

Posted by: trumanscat at November 15, 2007 8:29 PM

woodnwine, I know Weta's good but.... he's not the Messiah, he's just a very naughty boy....

(and I too am an individual..... and me... and me....and me)

Posted by: malsie at November 15, 2007 7:46 PM

Weta is most certainly a most intelligent admired contributor to these bogs.

Posted by: lorainer at November 15, 2007 7:45 PM

Wraecca - don't hold your breath or you'll end up falling off your perch. You'll look dead but won't be (if you understand what I'm referring to - very obtuse, I know - Weta help me out).

Posted by: woodnwine at November 15, 2007 7:31 PM

notgodsgift - I really don't believe Weta is attempting to impress everyone with his "intellectual superiority". He is what he is, and what he writes reflects that. He's just being himself, certainly intellectually gifted, that's for sure (sorry to talk about you as if you weren't here, Weta)
Would that I had his gift....

And I can't recall any comments from him lamenting any lack of female attention either. Some of us quite like a "smart arse"!

Posted by: malsie at November 15, 2007 7:24 PM

For all those women who sneak their hotmail address into their profiles, like I’m at…at some place warm.

Now that hotmail is being changed over to live.com.au are we going to get…

Look for me at blah blah blah yadda yadda some live in me yet

The price of fame is immortality

Posted by: ageinghippie at November 15, 2007 7:02 PM

NotGodsGift - It was me, not Weta who declared themselves to be a spelling Nazi. I'm sorry I did, everyone makes spelling mistakes or typos. I think I have made a rod for my back now as every word will be forever scrutinised! It was cheeky of me to draw attention to the missing 'n' in conniptions but I knew Weta would not take offence.

You have the wrong take on Weta. He is a quirky, intelligent, endearing and caring human being. He loves words and uses them well (though I admit to occasionally having no idea what he is talking about!). There is no arrogance in him.

By the way, 'touches' is correct in the context Weta used it. It is the plural of 'touch'. He could have said: 'more than one human touch' but 'human touches' is more succinct.

Posted by: ninaschen at November 15, 2007 7:01 PM

I quite find the demotivator about Hope quite amusing too, brane.
BK and I went through them the other day, quite funny to read.

Here's a Deal Breaker:
Someone who refuses to even try and share your sense of humour.

A Deal Maker: Someone who not only shares your sense of humour, but takes it to new levels.

Posted by: wraecca at November 15, 2007 5:21 PM

Hi, I'm sorry its not an episode of home and away, but as I said before it could be better with wit and humour. Some people with multiple profiles and possibly multiple personalities have spoilt it somehwhat. However we can move forward from now if more people would actually say something, and say it with wit and humour.

Moving right along

Deal breakers:
1: smoking
2: the word beach - leather is never appealling
3: Partyanimal - may appeal to teenage louts but not to mature people
4: Over the top religious people - believe what you will but do it quietly
5: Claiming to be intelligent because you can read or write, but have never read any of the great 20th century novels
6: People who don't find the following thought provoking and funny

Join in, don't stand around complaining the sky is blue. Sunrises and sunsets can be beautiful

Posted by: brane at November 15, 2007 4:51 PM

Well, I'm just waiting for some actual adult (and in that way I mean mature, not X rated) conversation to happen relating somehow to the blog topic. If anyone has anything valid to say, by all means, say it so that we can converse. Otherwise, I think I'll be leaving the blogs. Especially the Summer Lovin' one.

Posted by: wraecca at November 15, 2007 4:22 PM

amuso

its f/4 - f/6.3 with the CCD multiplier effect the focal length comes out at
80-800mm
I think I paid about $2,500.00 around 3 years ago

Posted by: thefotografer at November 15, 2007 3:29 PM

FotoGenie/c, Thank you! Just out of interest , what speed is the Sigma 50/500?

Posted by: amuso at November 15, 2007 2:47 PM

Having said the below, I missed the "r" in the "your", but then again, I'm no nazi!

Posted by: notgodsgift at November 15, 2007 2:46 PM

Ah Weta, the Undertoad

You continual attempts to impress everyone with your intellectualism only serves to underline the fact that you are a bore of the worst kind.

If you are going to be a "nazi" of any sort, get your own stuff right - I have never heard of human "touches", must be the French version.

Get over yourself and you might find that women will find you much more attractive. Then your life wont be a constant fight to prove your intellectual superiority to all and sundry.

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at November 15, 2007 2:36 PM

oh, whoops, maths was never my strong point, it's two sleeps until Saturday...

Posted by: waterbombe at November 15, 2007 2:02 PM

Exactly, istj54. Fortunately I'm like Ornamentalonly and have lots of screwdrivers on hand. A girl has her hobbies....I'm waiting with baited (I'm a good speller, remember) breath for weta/theundertoad/mrjekyllandhyde to come over on Saturday...

While I wait, may I ask what an introverted organised deductive thinker like yourself is doing in a place like this?

You're like the rest of us, I guess, having to sit on the computer for long hours at work and getting bored with it...this is (sometimes) a welcome distraction and sometimes a bloodbath, really, isn't it?
Gosh, i shouldn't talk like that... screwdrivers, coffins, bloodbaths...but a girl has her hobbies... ONLY THREE SLEEPS UNTIL SATURDAY!!!!!

Posted by: waterbombe at November 15, 2007 2:01 PM

That's why you need the screwdriver, Waterbombe.

Posted by: istj54 at November 15, 2007 12:41 PM

Amuso

Venice 2004 4.51pm

The text is fine
I always keep originals untouched(digital negatives)
After sharpening/levels/hue adjustments etc, they are saved as a copy so they do not over right the original.

The date is the time the editing took place and Venus is that dot you can see passing across the surface of the sun.
If you were viewing this in another hemisphere Venus would be in a different position

I hope that helps.

Posted by: thefotografer at November 15, 2007 12:33 PM

Hold your horses, cowboy!!! Are you theundertoad, Weta? I cite you, sir...

spelling/punctuation/grammar has never been the natural analogue of those who lack spontaneity/passion/improvisation......beware those who presume that one set of "traits" are symptomatic or evidence of another........

....Posted by: weta at November 15, 2007 12:46 AM

WOT is going on??? WHO am I going to find in my coffin on Saturday night????

Posted by: waterbombe at November 15, 2007 12:30 PM

bloody hell ......someone that admits that they are wrong and is prepared to say so on this forum...

perhaps all is not lost

Posted by: twoeyes at November 15, 2007 12:22 PM

Hi waterbombe - and other bloggers......being a narrative smartarse has clearly left me with a fair amount of the proverbial egg on my visage.......

.......what I intended by the statement ......"spelling/punctuation/grammar has never been the natural analogue of those who lack spontaneity/passion/improvisation......" was that those people with a bent for order and detail don't necessarily lack the capacity for spontaneity/passion/improvisation.... and those 2 groups of behaviours can co-exist in people.....

......there are sometimes stereotypes about particular clusters of behaviours being present or not - sort of the "either/or" argument.......

.......as those Python boys said....we are all individuals.......

......mea culpa to those whom I've offended.......

...being a smartarse has it's consequences.....

Posted by: theundertoad at November 15, 2007 11:53 AM

I'll think I go and watch a DVD now. Perhaps re-runs of Lost In Space. I always loved the robot.

"Danger, danger Will Robinson"

Posted by: brane at November 15, 2007 11:19 AM

isanyonelistening, hehe.

Posted by: amuso at November 15, 2007 11:06 AM

Sorry Waterbombe, I will cease the latin. Did you ever read my comment about never saying a word when a paragraph will do. I'm just listening to Tina Arena In Deep atm

I gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when I'm older.

Love those lyrics
Have a nice day

Posted by: brane at November 15, 2007 11:05 AM

I don't have a pic of you, istj54, you sound like a lovely woman, but i don't stick pins in female dolls ... only in male dolls ... I can't tell you how many men have never come back to my house once they've seen my little hobby friends... I'm SO HAPPY Weta doesn't think my little traits might possibly indicate that I am paranoid and a danger to half of society ... his half.

I am really looking forward to my BIG DATE this Saturday...maybe we'll even get to sleep in a coffin

and ... a screw driver .. what a good idea...

Posted by: waterbombe at November 15, 2007 11:05 AM

Isanyonelistening, I went to see Dylan a month or so ago..was ok, he doesn't do much of his old stuff but was still great to be in the presence of the master.

Thefotografer is taking new pics. He might take one of you for your profile.

That recipe looks great, she would love it but we would need heaps of potatoes for her.

And see, we have the same taste in cars, all good choices.

Posted by: istj54 at November 15, 2007 11:01 AM

istj54 - nice photo, pity someone else has used it before. Do you have a new one please, of someone different?

RSVP - when are you going to wake up and get rid of some of the older posts so we don't have to wait 5 minutes for the bl..dy page to load? Hello.......

Posted by: isanyonelistening at November 15, 2007 10:49 AM

Funlovertoo, hi. Stop it you'll have people thinking we're 'islands in the stream' lol. My Dutch word for the day is Computer lol.

Posted by: amuso at November 15, 2007 10:47 AM

Hi FotoGenie. Talk about stumped, The text at Venus 2004 has me pretending to hold up a house too. Am i reading it wrong or is it back to front?

Posted by: amuso at November 15, 2007 10:45 AM

Istj54

This dish will serve four with ease and will stump your daughter.
I have been trying to encourage her daughter to do some cooking for her mum seeing that her mum is under so much stress,maybe this will do the trick.
Here’s the recipe, simple and can be preprepared.
If you don’t like olives leave them out.
Buy a small chicken, you know, the ones in the two pack.
Portion it in four,breasts with wings thighs with drumsticks, chuck the rest.
Use a deep baking dish preheat oven to 180c
Half or quarter potatoes leave skin on depending on type.
Slice one whole lemon with rind on.
3 or 4 bay leaves
Bacon rashers
Onions small whole or half larger ones.
Put all this in the baking dish except for the chicken
Add I cup of Chicken stock (buy it in a carton) add salt(rock) and ground pepper.
Place chicken pieces on top sprinkle with rock salt, ground pepper, oil, and Cajun or chillie spices.
Bake in oven for approx 1.5 hours.
Just check the spuds they will tell you when it’s cooked.

Serve a chicken piece in the middle ofplate,bacon on top, potato and onion around the sides, spoon sauce and some lemon over chicken, dress with parsley.

As for the car he likes the Subaru but I think they are ugly so we will look at Honda,Mazda,Holden,Mondeo,Citroen C4,Subaru,Toyota, maybe new Gallant and see what happens.
I like the C4 because I had a C5 and know they are very nice to drive.
At the moment full leather,on roads as well(not insurance)six airbags and all the other goodies, rain sensor wipers etc.

I like the Toyota Aurion as well.

Posted by: thefotografer at November 15, 2007 10:34 AM

Ornamental

Your personal problems are one thing.

Your constant lashing out at other people are another.

Read the relevant MySpace profile.

Pay attention to the pic “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie and the putative graffiti of “Absolute rubbish” that Mental Mumma appears to have scrawled on it.

It is a vital message that you and Brilliant Blue could both pay attention to.

Now peace and love and harmony

Posted by: ageinghippie at November 15, 2007 10:08 AM

If someone was cooking for my daughter they would have to buy enough for about three people. She has got one verrrrrry big appetite and for such a wee little lassie too.
Don't tell her I said that, but wait....she already knows.
When she has pasta, she eats enough to serve four people...don't know where it goes.
That new Mondeo looks good, saw an ad last night in between blogfights.

By the way, a small screwdriver might be more effective than pins.

Hope none of those dolls look like me, Waterbombe, or I'll have to get rid of that picture again.

Posted by: istj54 at November 15, 2007 10:01 AM

Looks like it'll be a Latin-free blog this week....but how about some Dutch?

Just a little message to one who will understand it instantly - if my cut n paste is correct.

Hoe langer beter ik je ken, hoe aardiger leuker ik je vind

Posted by: funlovertoo at November 15, 2007 9:48 AM

I think I would rather be at home sticking pins in little cloth dolls most of the time.
Might go car hunting with my son this Saturday.
And I am doing the right thing for a friend tonight by cooking her and her daughter dinner.
I think I am getting more satisfaction out of this than anything.
The Russian doll has gone awol.
I can’t figure why I had to keep picking her up from her daughters on particular days of the week in order to listen to her ramblings,something strange going on there and without answers it is starting to get tiring.
Much better to curl up with a DVD and some wine.

Posted by: thefotografer at November 15, 2007 9:45 AM

weta, you said
"......beware those who presume that one set of "traits" are symptomatic or evidence of another........"

I'm SO GLAD to hear that because I haven't been getting many dates lately ... I don't get out much, but I don't mind ... I'm happy sitting at home on Saturday nights sticking pins in little cloth dolls that I make ... only it's hard to get the faces to look like the photos sometimes ... and I keep running out of black paint for the coffins they sleep in , I seem to use so much...they are big coffins, I sleep in them myself sometimes....

but I won't be lonely any more now I've met you!!! I KNEW Satan was on my side! You won't presume that this little set of "traits" are evidence of any other traits of mine ... what a relief... WETA!!! Will you go out with me?????? This Saturday night???? Pleaeeesse.........OR ELSE!

Posted by: waterbombe at November 15, 2007 9:11 AM

Brane, would you mind ceasing the Latin? The point of the blogs is for people to communicate.

I also think you should hesitate (a long time) before you suggest that anyone's experiences of harassment are fake or imagined ... anyone who has had training in this area knows that you can do a lot of emotional damage by disbelieving. The most helpful thing to do is to be supportive. Then the person who is being harassed will find the strength to seek assistance to deal with the problem, whoever is the cause of it.

You and I have no way of knowing who is telling the truth on a blog, (however OrnamentalOnly does know the truth, don't forget that), but in general the rate of false accusations is actually very low, (around 2%-5%), despite the beat-ups in the media about it.

The next thing, guys, is could we give this personal issue a break ... because the blog is not the place to argue about it. All these blogs are deteriorating because of the conflicts on here...I can't imagine what new people think when they log in and read this stuff. I imagine they immediately flick across to another blog, but it's getting the same anywhere you look on this site. Enuff!!!

Posted by: waterbombe at November 15, 2007 8:51 AM

Insults don't become a real man.

Do try to take your own advice about seeing your GP.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 15, 2007 2:15 AM

Au contraire, I am merely showing everyone else , who can google what I think without hurting your feelings too much. I do feel sorry for you. But Its late and I have to sleep. Goodnight , take care and talk to your GP

Posted by: brane at November 15, 2007 2:09 AM

Continuing to hide in obscurity.

One sign of a coward.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 15, 2007 1:59 AM

In alio pediculum, in te ricinum non vides

Posted by: brane at November 15, 2007 1:50 AM

And some who fail the basics and get lost wherever they may be.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 15, 2007 1:47 AM

And yet there's alway those who study the bark intently, while being oblivious to the forest

Posted by: brane at November 15, 2007 1:00 AM

........aahhhh...waterbombe.......

spelling/punctuation/grammar has never been the natural analogue of those who lack spontaneity/passion/improvisation......beware those who presume that one set of "traits" are symptomatic or evidence of another........

....those whose minds work in an orderly fashion - and who notice the small things (the detail), are no less observant/mindful/attentive to those very fundamental human touches.....

...attention to detail - and being sensitive and tuned in to one's surroundings - are not mutually exclusive.....

Posted by: weta at November 15, 2007 12:46 AM

P.S. Trumanscat, your dignity has always been exemplary.

Another true Deal Maker.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 15, 2007 12:45 AM

Another grin with -

Post by: brilliantblue at November 13, 2007 5:31 PM addressing the MIB,

>"P.S. Are you capable of actually replying to a question?"

I'll always remember TC making a similar point, with her comment some time ago about the futility of engaging with the aforementioned multi-profiling character.

If "it" was capable of a true conversation instead of causing trouble and suspicion, then it may have, at times, be perceived as funny.

Unfortunately, not the case.

I'm beginning to think the same as trumanscat re this multi-profiler being a madman.

Particularly after seeing his latest lot of spewings on his MySpace concoctions of RSVP profiles.

Backstabbing pettiness by a grown man, definitely a Deal Breaker.

Decency and dignity, such as one of (and I'm going back again with memory so excuse errors in detail,) the residents Trumanscat wrote about previously, who is an aged aboriginal man.
-A true gentleman.

A true Deal Maker.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 15, 2007 12:41 AM

You made me smile (first time tonight) waterbombe at November 14, 2007 4:21 PM with your clever humour and the actual point itself. :-)
Especially, when coming from someone who is an excellent speller too.

Your point is one with which I've always agreed.

Personally, I've never been bothered by a non-speller, even though I'm a spelling nazi with myself.

But if a male doesn't know, doesn't want to find out and, can't pay for his handyman jobs around the house -definitely a big deal breaker for me.

It's nearing bedtime for me -damn, I haven't made the bed yet (but I did take a break from blogging to bring in my washing) and as for an underwear drawer organized in colours and sizes -not in my lifetime.

Yeah, that would be another dealbreaker for me. A male who OCD's about the little things in life and doesn't realise that sometimes...hot'n'sweaty with accompanying perfume eau de pheromones can be the biggest turn on.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 15, 2007 12:16 AM

Deal Breaker - I have no doubt that you bloggers who insist on proper spelling, punctuation and grammar on a profile are the sort of people who won't even try to kiss your partner after dinner unless you have arranged your underwear drawer in colours and sizes, sewed lost buttons back onto your pyjamas and switched the electric blanket onto lukewarm.

Wot about some spontanity ... spontantistity ... spotitanty ... a few surprises?

Posted by: waterbombe at November 14, 2007 4:21 PM

Here's one for the clonemaster
http://images.despair.com/products/demotivators/madness.jpg

Posted by: brane at November 14, 2007 3:40 PM

Welcome slightsynchronicity, we need a few more people here like you who seem actually themselves, not more clones. I hope you have some fun here.

Posted by: brane at November 14, 2007 3:34 PM

Brillantblue. Touché! You have actually asked the questions that have been on my mind re the madman. Not at all hopeful for an answer however.

Posted by: trumanscat at November 14, 2007 3:09 PM

Amazingly it never even ocurred to me to lie about my age here. I did notice a few people seem to have led very hard lives though
http://images.despair.com/products/demotivators/trouble.jpg

Posted by: brane at November 14, 2007 2:55 PM

istj54, notmuchlifeinmeyet & babydolll1 - can you just talk amongst yourselves for a minute.

Brilliantblue - Don't let him worry you too much. Ask people you know if they know me and send me an email. I can guarantee you will be able to do it easily.

slightsynchronicity & lamuse - I can assure you it is exactly the same on the other side of the fence. Both sexes are guilty of exactly the same crimes on here.

Now back to you other 3, while you're all together, why don't you have a nice cup of tea and some scones.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 14, 2007 2:23 PM

Following up on my recent post, just wanted to tell you all that since I changed my age back to over 60, the views of my profile have virtually stopped. Now anyone taking a look at my profile will see that I don't look too bad for an old chook and am an interesting person, but now I don't even get into the searches. There are a few non-ageists out there who specify very wide age ranges, but they are rare indeed.

Posted by: lamuse at November 14, 2007 10:08 AM

Earl(Somelifeinmeyet)...do you really know who you are?

What do you actually get out of all this nonsense?

Earl I would like to see a photo of the real you seeing as you constantly taunt and carry on through your fake profiles....the only person hiding on the blog site is you through your multitude of characters.

That to me indicates you are
1. scared
2. cannot form friendships
3. have a lot of anger
4. lack confidence
5. lack of courage
6. lack of honesty

Its about time you came out from behind the shadows but I really think you lack the courage which in my books makes you a poor excuse for a man!

Maybe this is why you hide behind these characters because these are the sort of people you would like to be but can't!

Grow up and stand on your own!

P.S. Are you capable of actually replying to a question?

Posted by: brilliantblue at November 13, 2007 5:31 PM

Profile deal makers and breakers...Ok this is my second go at RSVP. I mainly rejoined so I could participate in the blogs. Its true : )) Anyway can someone please tell me, how a RSVP member can have a pic with sunglasses, and a beanie. In cognito...and still doing it one year later. This guy asked, second time around for my photo. He has to show me a real photo first. It would be good if there was a kiss where we could post our own...like "put up a real photo please." He had a profile with a few words on it, which he updated at my request. What does he have to hide, re: his photo. Oh and a photo with a guitar does not make someone a guitar player/teacher etc. So it is kinda nice to be back, but it is the same old, same old. Oh and what is with a profile that says two different things in different places. Like I am in NYC, oh but I am in Adelaide, with very confused job descriptions. If it feels suspect it probably is, would that be a good rule. Well the blogging community is fun and I have enjoyed the dramas (reading about em).
cheers from slightsynchronicity

Posted by: slightsynchronicity at November 13, 2007 10:31 AM

Why do people talk to themselves online? Is it just part of the bigger picture?

Posted by: woodnwine at November 13, 2007 9:22 AM

This is the second comment I have made...last one didn't get through after 24 hrs so it will be interesting to see if I get posted twice.
I am writing to talk about the age deal breaker issue.

In order to even get into the searches, I have recently done a 6 month trial of lowering my stated age below 60, complete with a disclaimer. Sure enough, it has resulted in about triple the number of hits on my profile. I have just asked RSVP to change my age back, so that trial is now over and it will be back to getting fewer hits and from very old men and a few very young ones who get off on older women. I have no issues about a man's age (and I notice that most older men have to lie about their age to get into searches as well) as long as they are as young mentally as I am, and have kept themselves fit...after all, we women live a lot longer than men, so it makes no sense really to be looking for older partners at our age. The only sexy, fit and with-it older men I have met so far have been relationship-phobic, so am not having much luck!

But it seems such a shame to miss out on men in their late 50's and early 60's because they are looking for women in the 40's and 50's only. My ex husband of 16 years is now just 52...(and it was not the age difference that led to the marriage ending.) Ageism and this desperate need to have trophy (younger) girlfriends
may not be serving you well, fellows...perhaps you should widen your searches.

Deal makers for me would be articulate writing, intelligence, a sense of humour that shines through, and a broad minded POV...

Posted by: lamuse at November 13, 2007 8:53 AM

I think that a BIG deal breaker, is when a man is looking at the blogs, and sees how the other women treat myself and the new blogger"Istj54", and then recoil in horror and disgust, and decide NOT to send ANY of these nasty types a "kiss"... let alone an email or ask for a date!!

These "bloggers" are ther own worst enemies!

I have noticed that for some reason "brililantblue' is turning nastier and nastier at each blog.

Her photo could be anyone! (who could recognise her from that, so she should stop hassling me and "Istj54" for our photos.)

So rude! And people keep making fun of my name, which is avery nice happy ,positive, upbeat name, (not rude or stupid like some people's names on here!)

Where are the nice educated, sane people like me who should be making use of this wonderful blog facility, instead of these ignorant uneducated freaks who keep hogging the boards.????????

Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at November 12, 2007 5:53 PM

Hi there, Istj54, Woodnwine, Yes yr right about that, Iam soo very new to this whole thing, I must get my act together or i could miss out, and then what would i do? I'd kick myself thats what i would do! Ahh Everyone looking for that "Elusive thing we like to call "Love", Its scary but exciting all at the same time! You cant judge too much by just a photo sometimes i guess, but its a good place to start! Ciao for now bloggers!x

Posted by: babydolll1 at November 12, 2007 11:01 AM

hey WW men are also really impressed with honesty, and if she can keep away from the mindless drivle then she should do well on here, and maybe find THE ONE

Posted by: twoeyes at November 12, 2007 10:40 AM

babydoll - istj54 is right, you just buy stamps online and get them immediately. I also agree that you should be pro-active, if you like C'man70, spend the $6.95 on a stamp and email him. Men are really impressed when women contact them because it happens so rarely.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 12, 2007 10:29 AM

Wanted to chime in about the age deal breaker issue. I found that, like mushie, I was not getting much interest and figured out that it was because men were not putting women over 60 into searches for the most part. So for fun, I listed my age as younger and then added a disclaimer stating this, and why. The interest almost tripled over night from men of all ages so have left it like that. I have found that men that I would like tend to see the humour in what I did.
In a way I resent having to do this subterfuge, but there you have it. And as someone pointed out, women outlive men, so why most men over 50 want to seek out younger women it seems to me is more a matter of ego than sense. On my part, any age is fine...I have met younger men who seem too old in their attitudes and vice versa.

Posted by: lamuse at November 12, 2007 9:55 AM

Don't you just buy the stamps online babydoll1? I don't know what you mean by you are waiting. Did the men say that they would buy the stamps? If so just write to them yourself if you are very interested or you could be waiting a while.

Posted by: istj54 at November 11, 2007 5:13 PM

Here I'am just filling in time, waiting for these stamps, i've had several replies and iam very grateful, i'd like to say C"man70, still waiting on these stamps, youre 1 thats stood out from literally 100s! Its not easy finding that "One"!

Posted by: babydolll1 at November 11, 2007 1:27 PM

* Posted by: ageinghippie at November 10, 2007 2:20 AM,

>"as for trigger happy WA PMS 24/7 the phrase "Noice one Barb" is off a certain ad for a well known TV program, Kath and Kim".

ageinghippie, are you trying to become quite chumm(le)y now by actually bestowing a nickname upon me?

If so, as "WA PMS 24/7", I have to, yet again, correct your presumption.

I don't suffer PMS (either Pre or Post) and have long given up watching Kath & Kim -ever since Magda Szubanski stopped writing the scripts.

So Pte(not so) Gomer(Gunna?) Pyle(haemorroidal)
the volunteer (often, and in so many and varied forms)
-lets hope, unlike your simple minded, gas-pumping moniker,
you don't end up with the same fate as him in "Full Metal Jacket",
where he eventually suffers a mental collapse.

Do take it easy, old chap.

Because I'd miss dodging the odd potshot of yours -no matter how off the mark they are.

Signed by,

Old (but not enough to be a hippy) Ogre.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 11, 2007 2:52 AM

* Posted by: miserableoldcow at November 10, 2007 12:47 AM,
>"ornamentalonly....
you have every reason to twitch.....Qld and particularly bits like Shakey Town bear strange fruit......"

And nuts.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 11, 2007 2:03 AM

well mirserable old cow, I actually don't remember any proposal, at least not of the barryme sort.

you mean you are not going to chain yourself to rainforest trees and throw yourself in front of bulldozers with me; i need a real hippie greenie

as for trigger happy WA PMS 24/7 the phrase "Noice one Barb" is off a certain ad for a well known TV program, Kath and Kim

Posted by: ageinghippie at November 10, 2007 2:20 AM

Ooops....forgot Barryme....i'm a duffer eh!

Posted by: miserableoldcow at November 10, 2007 12:49 AM

ageinghippy...

goodness you also remember all those incarnations...they run trippingly off your tongue..(*zounds*...what an attentive little greenie you are...) I wonder what your interest was all about..perhaps you're a fan of zydeco and industrial rock as well??? Noice!

ornamentalonly....
you have every reason to twitch.....Qld and particularly bits like Shakey Town bear strange fruit......

Posted by: miserableoldcow at November 10, 2007 12:47 AM

Hello everyone, looking forward to seeing how this goes, keeping fingers crossed, it might just be another chance to find something special, hope a prince is out there for me somewhere, it would be nice, hope you guys are patient, in process of getting stamps, and posting a photo very soon, hi condorman70 if u read this, id like to say thankyou for response!

Posted by: babydolll1 at November 9, 2007 12:17 PM

Well, i finally joined rsvp, to be honest i only send kisses if i like what the guy has to say, and i like the look of him, i like the guys who arent asking for too much, easy going and down to earth, i deal breakers are everywhere you go to find love, there's never any guarantees, just know what to look for and know in yourself that you just have to use your intuition!!! good luck to all everyone! babydolll1

Posted by: babydolll1 at November 9, 2007 12:12 PM

*twitch*
(Well now, that's my exercise done for the day.)

Another little pearl of wisdom dropped from those loose lips.

Hi Barb aka miserableoldcow.

Back to working in real life.

Accompanied by Jacko the Whacko who, would you believe it, is currently singing "I'm bad", on the radio.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 9, 2007 11:18 AM

Dear Miserable Old Cow,
You remember the Barry days do you.
Was that BadBarry, MadBarry or Barry The Cougar. Noice one Barb.
I make no claims whatever to being NoRmAl. In fact my dts reminded me recently that my fav track was WackoJacko "I'm an individual you can't fool me." The 45s turntable did not survive technology leaps where all is nicked off MySpace now anyway.

Posted by: ageinghippie at November 9, 2007 2:53 AM

Hey miserableoldcow at November 8, 2007 10:49 PM,

I like the points you made about group dynamics.

Even the one about us being normal with the exception of one multi-profiler.

I must remember I'm "normal" and adopt that as my mantra...
ya know, a bit like that Rolling Stones song, whateveritsname isprobablyI'mnormal (I'm a shocker when it comes to titles)..."normal...nOrmal...noRmal...norMal and the various intonations used to express that singular word, hehehe.

At least it's fun watching me twitch whenever a character pops up from Queensland. ;)

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 9, 2007 2:03 AM

hey guys..we are a group (albeit a group of cyber bloggers) and like all groups there is a psychological process or dynamic at work that groups cycle through...these are "forming...norming...storming...performing and adjourning (or ending)" and you can return to anyone of these points at any given time... all the matters we angst over...are the daily grist of any group..."we are normal"... except for Barry, roadkill, Earl, lord thingamy.... and noloveinmever..et al.....as he is suffering from a borderline personality disorder....and cannot be cured!!!! aaah well....

Posted by: miserableoldcow at November 8, 2007 10:49 PM

At least, woody woodpecker, you're being occupied...

Fifteen times to sign in -you definitely are a dedicated one!

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 8, 2007 9:56 PM

amdoingitright..... would love to know who you mean, but then if this ever gets posted i will be suprised as the last 5 or 6 havent been for whatever reason.

Do i need to go thru a committee to be vetted and then inoculated against evil thoughts and bad attitudes to get posted on here these days???????????????

Will wait and see, but thanks for the heads up

Posted by: twoeyes at November 8, 2007 9:59 AM

Wow, got through first go that time but then had to wait for ages while the page updated before I could leave this blog and look at another - BORING! This site is becoming frustratingly SLOOOOOW!! I think I will give up soon and concentrate on Myspace, which is quick to load and always works (although it is not a dating site). RSVP the dating features on this site are excellent (2nd to none) but the blogs are SLACK.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 8, 2007 9:03 AM

ornamentalonly - thanks, I always do the cut and paste, otherwise I would definitely give up but yesterday I had to go through the log in 7 times then last night at home I had to do it 8 times!!!

Come on RSVP, fix this stupid problem or many of us will give up - I think some already have from what I know. Also, these pages contain so many OLD blogs they take for ever to load - come on, you can do better than this.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 8, 2007 8:58 AM

Get together tonight at the Blue Gum Hotel, Waitara 7pm….everyone welcome!
If you would like to meet some other RSVP members over drinks, come along tonight…would love to see you there!

Posted by: brilliantblue at November 8, 2007 8:15 AM

Dear woody at November 7, 2007 4:37 PM,

While I do admit it can take a couple of goes to post sometimes, it shouldn't be taking you seven attempts.

Other people have posted tips and I posted this a couple of days ago to a newcomer.

>One thing I've noticed about posting on here is that you need to post quickly.

>Sometimes, it is an idea to copy what you've typed before attempting to post, so you can easily paste it if you have to sign in again.
>Of course, when you sign in yet again, you can then paste what you typed previously and then post immediately.

>Hope that is of some help.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 8, 2007 1:06 AM

loved the joke, brane - and good luck with the quitting (cigarettes, that is)!

Posted by: malsie at November 7, 2007 5:07 PM

Interesting question.

We all know that the first factor is the photo, because physical attraction is the core and basis of any relationship. Lack of photo isn't a deal breaker immediately, but for me i'd need to see someone to see if the physical attraction was there before meeting.

Deal Makers are quite simple, honesty is one, an effort put into the profile to give a good, interesting description of themselves.

The interests/hobbies pane is more of an indicator of tastes, but I don't put too much weight in that.

The other one for me which is a factor is willingness to have kids. While some may think that's weird for a 26 year old guy to say, for me, I do want to have kids and in the long term it would be an issue with women that don't.

I think the best thing to find in a profile is positivity and confidence.

Plus an intelligent profile from a quirky cute girl gets me every time!

Posted by: lukstar13 at November 7, 2007 4:49 PM

RSVP - while I am logged on, can I also say, why do you have to leave posts up that date back to May? It makes the page sooooooooooooooo sloooooooooooooooow to load, especially when you have to do it 7 times, so why not delete the old posts or at least move them to an archived area?

Posted by: woodnwine at November 7, 2007 4:37 PM

People - these blogs really are like the ocean. It looks calm enough on the surface but below the surface waves of discontent are always present and come in surges. I haven't blogged much lately because I haven't been particularly interested in anything that has been being discussed but I have been reading and observing how there are always people that stir up the calm waters and start accusing others of being rude even though they have often done the same thing.

I guess it is very hard for such a hugely diverse group of people to get on and that is just the way life works. That is why fights often break out where ever large groups of people are gathered together, particularly when some make it their business to provoke trouble. Personally, I can never understand why people have to fight with each other, why can't we just let each other be?

Now RSVP - I had to log on 7 times to post this and frankly I have better things to do with my time. Other sites work perfectly, such as myspace and facebook so why can't you sort this problem out. And don't say it's my computer because I use several computers and they can't all be at fault. I have written to you and you have acknowledged me but the problem persists. Others also are having the same problems, are their computers to blame as well?

Now can every one kiss and make up please?

Posted by: woodnwine at November 7, 2007 4:33 PM

Well, in my opinion, the first attraction to a profile is definitely the photo. Second would be their academic ability. If they type 'lyke diss', its really a huge turn off! Although abbreviating words in sms's are okay. Thirdly, for people who believe in starsigns (I know I do), would go for starsigns that match with theirs. I'm a scorpio (water sign) and my matches are pisces, cancer, virgo, and capricorn.

Brief profiles are also a turn off! For example :"Oh I'm a fun guy, and I love going all out on the weekends with my mates." It just shows that you put little effort and thought into writing your profile.

Guys who send many kisses, and when you reply back in interest, he sends you another kiss expecting an email from you! It just gives off that "cheap" and "stingy" vibe about the guy and the chances are, when you meet face to face, you would expect to pay for your own dinner.

Posted by: sweetashoney07 at November 6, 2007 11:03 PM

Thank you OrnamentalOnly.

Posted by: wraecca at November 6, 2007 10:38 PM

yes, seraphsuzie, that's what i meant by saying it's a website - you said it so much more clearly. You only see a part of people on these blogs, so you can't seriously let it get to you. If it bothers me, I switch off and do something else. If I felt "attacked" , which I never have (if anyone has attacked me, I haven't noticed) , I'd just leave off blogging for a few days. When you came back, people would have forgotten all about you.
Watch how fast the blogs move from topic to topic- they can change in a day.

It's very different in real life, with real people, when you talk and sort things out because you have a continuing relationship. In that world, we are able to perceive the complexity in each other; in this world, we can't. And I agree, seraphsuzie, that's exactly why we shouldn't hand out detailed analyses of each other.

Posted by: waterbombe at November 6, 2007 10:35 PM

wraecca at November 6, 2007 4:46 PM.

May your friend Anne, rest in peace.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 6, 2007 10:35 PM

Patience... really I have never 'attacked' you.. you just don't like the fact that I don't agree with you and say so.. I have only defended myself in regards to the way you have spoken to me in the past. And yeah your right I do like taking little digs at you now and again.. just like I see you do to others on here in some of your posts if they seem to not agree with you either. I honestly can say and have said it before.. I don't like you... I would never want to meet you either. When someone has the audacity to think they know me without having ever met me, and seem to have 'figured' me out and then also insult my mother as well, yeah then I have no time for them.
I do not like the way you try and tell everyone on here how to think and feel.. you don't give advice.. its more like 'do it my way or its just not the right way'.
I have been so honest in how I feel about you.. I haven't hidden a thing. And yeah so its not always Christian.. I am not perfect.. no one is.. and I do not EVER have to justify my faith to you or to anyone....

But the juxt of the whole thing is Patience. .. is you forget. you are only getting a 2d view of people on these blogs... your getting words... not a whole person.. so how on earth you can make calculated judgements and give advice when that is all you have to go on.. is beyond me. You know not everyone on here needs to be fixed.. however you seem to want to fix them no matter what they say...and however much they protest.

I personally won't miss you. And also? I don't need a 'gang' to back me up.. I can stand up for myself and always have. I have no control over what others have to say on here... They say what they feel and think..I hardly actually talk to anyone off the blogs anyway!!

Posted by: seraphsuzie at November 6, 2007 9:19 PM

thelynathdiary. Don't go. My Admirable Adversary, stick around & add your two bobs worth.

Posted by: trumanscat at November 6, 2007 8:58 PM

My only excuse is that I'm somewhat snappy because I've stopped smoking.
On a lighter note here is a joke from the INTP list.

An atheist was walking through the woods when he stopped and thought:
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!"

Then, as he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the
bushes behind him.

He turned to look and saw a 7-foot grizzly charging towards him! He
ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and
saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He ran faster when he looked over his shoulder again, and saw that the
bear was even closer! He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over
to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him...
reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike
him.

At that instant the atheist cried out, "Oh, my God!"

Time stopped!

The bear froze...

And the forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky...

"You deny my existence for all these years... and try to teach others I
don't exist... and even credit creation to a cosmic accident? Do you
expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to now count you as
a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light, "Well, it would be
hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now...
but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said God.

The light went out.

The sounds of the forest resumed...

And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed
his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive
from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."*

Posted by: brane at November 6, 2007 8:50 PM

Actually I was feeling somewhat remorseful for my comments to aliane. INTP's can wield words like weapons if provoked..

Posted by: brane at November 6, 2007 8:48 PM

oh fer gods sake. This is a WEB SITE. You don't have to read anything on it, or take any notice if you do.
There is no need to throw an extended tantrum and then spit the dummy. But if you must, you must.

Posted by: waterbombe at November 6, 2007 6:48 PM

TheLynarthDiary wrote:

> having strangers discussing you is a direct consequence of posting about yourself on
> an open forum. It has happened to me again now and has in the past.

This happens. And in forums that I do not read and post in regularly, I expect to see people talking about me, or more normally my models / artwork, in the third person. But where I read and post regularly, people will ask me a question directly. Maybe they'll ask in more general terms that encourages many people to reply, but they don't ask phrased in such a way that indicates that I should not be replying, which is what you managed.

> So the ONLY question I asked Wraecca about you was "did he ever cut his hair"
> fairly innocuous I would think as it is hard to tell from the new photos.

The question I really don't mind - it's the way it was asked that got me.

> Frankly, Brush Kestrel the line about taking credit was just a little way of telling
> Wraecca that I am on her side and yours too.

Hmmm, I still can't see this, but whatever, I'll let this one slide :-)

> I seem to remember that you did take my advice and change your profile somewhat.

I revised my profile as a result of what several people said, and also with some new ideas I had myself. I'd like to thank everyone who looked at it and said something (yes, including yourself), as all the responces were useful one way or another.

However, as I recall it, you told me to:
* remove all reference to trains from my profile
* shave off my beard
* cut my hair short
* wear a shirt
* and change my name.
You may notice I have not done any of these things.

> You are young...it is human nature to turn away from people when you think you
> don't need them anymore.

Couldn't be further from the mark with this one. I haven't "turned away" from anyone or anything. I still value this community, still enjoy reading posts here both on and off topic, (BTW we could use some new and relevant topics RSVP!), and still contribute. True, I don't need to ask about how to improve my profile at the moment, but that is not because I've turned away from people here. There is a quite different reason for that, as I think you are aware.

Posted by: brushkestrel at November 6, 2007 6:22 PM

I am curious to know exactly how I was posting intimate details. Can someone please direct me to the parts where I started blurting out private information, such as what we spoke about, intimate details (besides the first hug), etc? I posted less information than what I told my best friend, who is driving me nuts wanting to know more.

TheLynathDiary, you say that nobody had a go at me, and that thefotografer was well-intentioned, although badly phrased. From your point of view, it may not have seemed that way. However, from my point of view, it was vastly different. His words were quite hurtful, as were the words of other bloggers. From my point of view, I was being attacked. But then, that is my point of view.

As for me having a fragile mental state at that point in time, I'm not sure that applies. Yes, I have suffered a lot of hurt in the past. Yes, I freely admit to that. However, I try to take every stumbling block, every negative occurrence as an opportunity to learn, and to strengthen myself. I don't allow my previous hurts to make me tiptoe around issues, if anything, it makes me more blunt (you'd have to ask OO and BK about this though).

The idea that my mental and emotional state is so fragile that it would shatter kind of gives me a wry grin; after all, if what I have gone through hasn't broken my mind, why would attacks from bloggers? It does upset me, yes. At certain times (like now) I am more susceptible to feeling hurt or upset by others. Most times, people are unaware of how their opinions or words may come across (and I also include myself in this). I have stated before, and I will state again, I took your words to be blunt, but well meant. I did not think that you were savaging me in the blogs. However, other bloggers, on different blogs, have not been so friendly. I believe others have also seen this.

Oh, and you only need to ask OO and especially BK what I'm like in real life; I am so much more restrained and mild on the blogs - in person, I can't even begin to describe how I am.

On another topic, Anne's funeral was today. I've been on the verge of tears all day, not good, especially not at work. Thanks to all who have given words of support or encouragement, and for those Christians who have sent prayers, I also thank you.

BK, I wouldn't change our relationship for the world either. You are wonderful :)

Posted by: wraecca at November 6, 2007 4:46 PM

My crime it appears has been to mistake this blog for a place to exchange support posts and a place for discussion. My second mistake was to presume I could find others willing to engage in lively conversation with a bit of wit and humour and perhaps friendly teasing or difference of opinions which serve to fuel good blogs.
In order of appearance let me answer you , put your minds at rest and hopefully never bother again and too, I have 8 people for dinner tonight and I have to start cooking....

BrushKestrel -no actually I have not noticed you around posting and I have no idea whether or not you read the blogs.
You see, having strangers discussing you is a direct consequence of posting about yourself on an open forum. It has happened to me again now and has in
the past. In my case they are only discussing my ideas and opinions and making assumptions about my life and personality. On the other hand if you put lots of personal intimate verified details on then they too are open to interpretation and are perhaps titillating to some.. I stand by my opinion that partners in a good relationship know that they can trust the other person with their innermost thoughts and secrets. That trust is built up over time. As I have stated on a number of occasions there is nothing wrong with a general picture of what is happening in your romance/life, but I question why adults need to disclose things which should remain their business. People who do that do so for a reason...they get something back from the behaviour. ..whether it is feeling important or feeling accepted or perhaps they could even be disinhibited due to mental illness or enjoy titillating others.. On an internet site there is also the possibility of scammers too(not that I in any way think this of the posts in question)but gaining sympathy and empathy is a known way that these people work.
I took the posts on face value and at a certain point as a caring woman and mother of a woman Wraeccas age thought someone needed to put the brakes on as a protection for her given that she had stated she has had struggles. a duty of care if you will.The fact that neither of you can see any harm in it is okay, and your choice,come back and tell me in twenty years if your opinion has changed. There is a difference between being open and honest and telling a lovely story and going too far with revealing personal nitty gritty. I would not want it still going on as the relationship progresses or gawd knows what we would be reading.My post was directed to Wraecca
So the ONLY question I asked Wraecca about you was "did he ever cut his hair" fairly innocuous I would think as it is hard to tell from the new photos. Frankly, Brush Kestrel the line about taking credit was just a little way of telling Wraecca that I am on her side and yours too. I am not negotiating bidding rights with you or disputing your 'timetable' I don't really care.I seem to remember that you did take my advice and change your profile somewhat. I seem to remember a young man posting on the blogs who was in a new country, new city and looking for friends, I seem to remember taking time out to answer your blog and tell you what you asked about, I sent you a kiss to say that I liked what you wrote in your new profile,and I seem to remember follow up posts where I said what a great guy you were and romantic etc.thereby giving you some extra publicity(there is nothing more attractive to women than a man that other women want) and hopefully making you feel accepted and included and not so lonely in your new country,(again I have a son not much younger than you who is travelling) and in the last post to Wraecca I again complimented you and said your new photo's make you look happy, and that I hoped all will be great for you.
You are young...it is human nature to turn away from people when you think you don't need them anymore.
Ornamental Only..there is a great difference between what the current poster is posting and wraeccas posts given that she had stated her mental state was fragile.

miserableoldcow..love the name..thanks..it is always nice to know there is someone "who gets you"

Wishandhoping2 thankyou. You are so right about needing some good discussion. Brane(and where is he anyway?) posted a great topic for debate but after a couple of posts no-one was interested. No mental stimulation at all as a result and no one learns anything. I do not subscribe to turning this into a heavy debating site..can find those elsewhere..but some interaction with thinking adults on lots of topics would be good.
The dress up comment as you well know was to do with the imaginary mud wrestling sparring ring.of the blogs....again some people have no sense of humour and could not see the funny side..or perhaos chose not too.You see that comment was actually an opportunity for bloggers to take the topic to a much lighter tone if they wanted to...no one can be angry for long if they involve a bit of fun and humour in the posts and as we all know written words cannot convey true meanings without facial expressions tone of voice etc.

Trumans cat...not trouble..but love a good challenge ..a mental workout if you like...makes me think hard or understand for the first time what it is that I really do think...helps me to grow as a person. That is why we have a love/ hate realtionship! You have been known to make me rethink when I am sure I have it all sewnup.
I am curious though on one point. You come onto the blogs in support of a few people always stating that you don't like to see them being 'attacked"(a word which needs to go from the blogs really") You never seem to see that the person being 'attacked' has been the initiator of attacks themselves which have then prompted angry responses. This has happened on many occasions with bloggers other than myself and usually involving Seraph Suzie. As Seraph Suzie did not want any support from me earlier I have chosen to ignore her posts on most occasions. My recent comments to her below were only in response to several nasty digs at me over a few blogs with full intention to provoke. The fact that she does this when she thinks she will have a gang to back her up is not good. If she does not want a response then she should choose to withold her comments. The reason why I even took the time to engage further with thse comments was because I intended that to be my last post. Instead this one will be.

Waterbombe..
your truly have a nerve and with every post you write just continue to demonstrate the nasty side of your personality.To clear up one point no one "had a go" at Wraecca
at all..some people just sensibly chose to slow her down for her own benefit. Even the fotografer whose way of doing so could have been better had her best interests at heart. The words you use are designed to inflame.
Secondly, Aliane is right you make accusations without fair basis,and twist words,
Your tactic when confronted with something that is a little beyond you or that you don't agree with is to divert attention with sneering ,belittling remarks about other posters.
You did this to me and Aliane that I noticed, and then when you got a response you dare to attempt to discredit again rather than examine your own communication difficulties or try to put forward some rational points to support yourself. Can you honestly sit there and say that your blogs were respectful? I think not.
I never deliberately respond negatively on a personal basis to anyone who has not done so to me first. I am quite willing to hear what people think of me...enjoy it in fact and sometimes learn from it or at least question myself. I do respond with opinions about a topic which may not agree with a poster.

No further correspondence will be entered into by me on these blogs, and Patience has taken long sevice leave too, but feel free to talk amongst yourselves...
goodbye all and best of luck,
Christy

Posted by: thelynathdiary at November 6, 2007 3:47 PM

I like being questioned about my opinions, WishingandHoping2, provided it is respectful. Thelynathdiary's post of November 4, 2007 11:42 PM was not entirely respectful - in some places it was downright nasty.

OrnamentalOnly, you're right- I never saw it! Lots of people had a go at wraecca and no one is having a go at funlovertoo for doing the same thing! I don't know why....but to set things to rights, I decided to have a 'go' at you over the romantic thing, funlovertoo. Please don't take it personally, I don't know you. You may not be a romantic but there are heaps of women who are. Those comments are on the Summer Lovin' blog - where else would the romantics be?.

Posted by: waterbombe at November 6, 2007 10:02 AM

Brushkestrel,

You have every right to respond to anyone's blogs.I'd have responded too. You are a man of substance and intelligence and can jump in anywhere here to give your voice. That was the point I was trying to make. These blogs are for the public or RSVP members to have a voice and opinion. No one should be dictating who can speak and what they have to say. It is all valid...whether we like it or not.
The bullying factor seems to kick in when a few people agree on a point and then attack....then we get the blog spats...guess we are only human..happens everywhere.

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at November 6, 2007 9:21 AM

WishingAndHoping2 wrote:

> Thelynathdiary actually holds a mirror up to people
> and questions what they are saying.

Ummm, what gets me most is that she is asking questions about me, while I am present, but phrased in such a way that indicates they are not addressed to me, and that I am not intended to answer them.

I'm certainly open to constructive criticism, and am not averse to a good disagreement (provided it doesn't get personal). It's the whole "write it in a way that attempts to preclude a response" thing that got me with that one...

Posted by: brushkestrel at November 6, 2007 9:07 AM

Truman's cat,

I know I like some gentle sparring. I keeps me invigorated and keeps my mind sharp.
It's a bit like when I was young and madly fancied a guy and would goad him into little fights. If he kept it up I knew I had him...oh for those days again.

The blogs do become boring when everyone is being too nice and just supporting what people say. That just might be my opinion but yes, I enjoy a bit of sparring, especially on a Friday night. I just didn't know that I was supposed to dress up for it.

I saying all of this, I don't mean that people should be rude and nasty, but respectfully question and disagree or agree with each other...keeps things interesting.
You always do this and consequently are always enjoyable to read.

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at November 6, 2007 8:33 AM

I seem to remember, and I could be wrong, that when Wraecca was telling us about her excitement and butterfly moments, that it was only one person, the fotografer, who rained on the parade and gave it smutty undertones.

I was originally concerned that things may falter and Wraecca would be hurt, like we all can be with online or any dating. That was a motherly concern because I had followed her blogging, and become quite fond of her upbeat positive life view. I was excited for her and wanted to know more, but at the same time thinking, go slowly.
I love to hear the good news from her and from Funlovertoo.
Thelynathdiary just expressed caution too....not criticism.
I still don't recall a lot of bloggers saying thay didn't want to hear....I may be wrong....anyways keep us informed as this is a dating blog and what it is for.

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at November 6, 2007 8:25 AM

Bugger. Ideally not an opportunity to have a go, it simply confirms the gang mentality don't you think?
But sometimes I wonder if you like the tension & strife thelynathdiary..? The battle?

Posted by: trumanscat at November 6, 2007 8:18 AM

Thelynathdiary actually holds a mirror up to people and questions what they are saying. She takes it all in and thinks about it before making her comments.
Some people can take this and some don't like to be questioned or held accountable for their views/comments.

I think it is all healthy and is what a blog is about.
Why shouldn't we be questioned? I like it as I know that soemtimes I will behave or say things taht need to be held up and thought about.
I know that I can be swayed from a particular view/behaviour if it is intelligently argued or pointed out that I may be doing something morally questionable.
We should all be adult enough to do that and not run and hide when it happens to us.
Thelynathdiary never does!

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at November 6, 2007 8:17 AM

Surely a good profile is one that projects a positive attitude to life. I have often wondered about some of the profiles/people who have been on here for years n years.

Posted by: whatcomesnext at November 6, 2007 7:38 AM

Hello The Lynarthdiary ...people are so flustered around you... I can only interpret this as some kind of flattery.....all the very best of luck.....

let me know what is happening...
cheers
Moo X

Posted by: miserableoldcow at November 6, 2007 2:32 AM

Good point trumanscat at November 5, 2007 6:38 PM.

I admit to having a size 10 foot, firmly-in-mouth at times and definitely can sympathize with other peoples' faux pas too.
Good intentions are usually obvious though, even if they may not always be presented clearly and I put up my man-sized hand for that fault as well.

I have never been offended by Wraecca's postings about BK.

Wouldn't a lot of us bloggers, if lucky enough be experiencing this first rush of enthusiasm, express our joy in here too?

In fact, that is going on right now, with a much older woman revealing details of a blossoming relationship-to-be, in another blog and no one so far, has said one word about her revealing too much.

It shall be interesting to see, if some people will eventually react the same way to those posts.

I like your positive and constructive words trumanscat (along with others of course, including waterbombe at November 5, 2007 10:37 PM -I do agree with you about Aliane,) they're always a breath of fresh air and common sense in here. :)

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 6, 2007 2:19 AM

TheLynarthDiary:

Hello.

In case you hadn't noticed, I'm still around - I read these blogs quite frequently, and occasionally post too. (And I wasn't expecting to see people talking about me in the third person in a forum I regularly read!)

Anyway, one of the things you may have noticed about hair is that it grows. That is, if you ignore it, it gets longer. To keep it at roughly the same length, you keep having to cut it.

So yes, I've had my hair cut, but not to make it shorter. Just to keep it at the same length (and to stop it going all tangly and awkward, which it does if I ignore it for long enough).

I'm also not sure how you can take credit for Wraecca and I noticing each other. A) We started communicating at about the same time you first encountered me, so the time differential to claim cause and effect is not present, and B) Had I have taken your advice back then (which as I recall it was to dramatically change my appearance, and heavily rewrite my profile to eliminate references to anything that might be considered vaguely unpopular), it is highly unlikely we would have the relationship that we do. And I wouldn't change that for the world :-)

Posted by: brushkestrel at November 6, 2007 12:49 AM

Have we been a bit harsh on Aliane? She hasn't been back. She seems a nice person, I usually liked what she posted. She's just over enthusiastically Christian...she went a bit far saying some people deserved to die for big-noting themselves, but that stuff comes out of the mouths of so many devout Christians.
Where are you Aliane...talk to me.

Posted by: waterbombe at November 5, 2007 10:37 PM

thelynathdiary, temper temper... this is not noice, not noice at all...calling other people

- ridiculous
- hypocritical
- pure maliciousness
- no purpose or real contribution
- petty
l- acking in comprehension skills
- needy
- manipulative
- craving acceptance

When you say "Yes, there is definitely a gang/bully mentality here", are you referring to yourself?

The theorists, by the way, are Erikson, Kohlberg and cohort. Boring to most, but you might know of them.

Posted by: waterbombe at November 5, 2007 10:27 PM

thelynathdiary. That is such a blanket statement to make about Seraphsuzie. She has her faults, as we all do, I give her credit & kudos for the good grace to acknowledge her faults in one blog in particular.
There are few on here capable of doing such a thing.....

Posted by: trumanscat at November 5, 2007 6:38 PM

Thelynathdiary, when I wrote about people saying that I was posting too much personal information, it was not directed at a specific person. There were several people who had said various things directed towards me, some fairly blunt but well meant, others just plain nasty. I took yours as the blunt but well meant.

Yes, I have had a lot of hurt happen to me through my life. I don't particularly want to repeat some of those experiences. However, they made me who I am and I like me. As I have stated previously, I did not actually post specific details and my blogs were meant to show the friendship that was developing and to share my happiness that it was working out well, nothing more.

As for what I have written about BK and myself, he has voiced no objection and I have asked him as to whether or not I'm revealing too much. So far, he has replied in the negative. My last update did not actually give out that much private information (at least, neither of us thought so) and it was because bloggers we are both friendly with had asked for an update that I gave it.

As for taking the credit for us meeting, if you want to, that is fine. However, I was responding to his post on August 29, 2007 at 7:44 PM and what he had written on his profile. I hadn't actually read your reply when I posted mine (this was pre-instant posting) and mentioned the trains up in Townsville because I had been there myself and had enjoyed the day. Also, as previously mentioned, my dad is big on steam trains, so was trying to extend a friendly hand of welcome in a manner he would respond to. I myself have some *odd* hobbies, so know how wonderful it can be when others are interested, even if they don't know much about the subject.

BK's hair is still long, but not as long as he originally had it (it's about shoulder length now), but I don't mind. I mean, if he doesn't care that I have a tattoo, why should I care how long his hair is? -smile-

If everything goes south with us, then so be it. If I regret posting information on the blogs regarding our progress, I'll have nobody but myself to blame. However, I have read and reread my posts that spoke about us, and I am not ashamed of what I wrote, nor embarrassed. I was honest and open as I naturally am, as well as being a little more reserved than usual (you guys should see me in real life - apparently I bounce off the walls, lol).

So thank you for your concern, I know it was kindly meant, and I appreciate it. However, after a tough couple of weeks where I was really struggling and then finding happiness, I found it hard when people started to attack something that was written in innocence, without innuendo.

I hope all of this has made sense, I'm still trying hard not to cry every 5 minutes. Hope I haven't bored everyone else.

Wraecca.

Posted by: wraecca at November 5, 2007 6:15 PM

Carthago delenda est, and he kept repeating it with every speech he made. He got his way, more's the pity. If youse have nothing nice to say you might perhaps abstain?

Posted by: amuso at November 5, 2007 11:51 AM

A diversion Waterbombe? Perhaps you cannot produce "the theories" for further discussion so have chosen to try to discredit someone in a petty way?

In answer to your question...no..sorry to disappoint you and spoil the your image but last Friday I was filling in a little bit of time mid flight.

Apparently your comprehension skills need some work too as you have missed the difference between being serious and a little bit of humour...

Seraph Suzie...do you realise how ridiculous you are, not to mention hypocritical since you spout your Christianity, when you continue to blog with the intention of pure maliciousness and no purpose or real contribution? Yes, there is definitely a gang/bully mentality here.

Oh, and I was most interested to see your complaint about bloggers blogging private conversations to the exclusion of the group.
How times have changed..
Are you feeling a bit left out now ?

What was it you said to me again- you know- when it was you doing the excluding? A bit of group co-operation then would have seen a different blog community now....

Waterbombe you are right on one point..and that is that there is no point in continuing to waste time here now that any blogger with something interesting to say or with whom to engage in intelligent or meaningful conversation has left or no longer contributes.

Wraecca I was not going to write this publicly but I have read your blogs which have asked several times why people(me?) suggested you not write so much detail and you felt affronted. The reason I said that to you was because from the beginning you stated you have had a life of emotional hurt and turmoil of some sort.
Usually that background makes people very vulnerable and too trusting and unsure of limits. The need to be accepted is high, and this may appear to require being totally open and honest ,and perhaps being seen to be needy and sometimes even manipulative to feel okay and to get the attention and self esteem boost and acceptance craved.
As someone who has a lot of life experience now, I would not want to see you hurt further. That is what you were leading to with the blow by blow descriptions in your blogs.
BK is no doubt a special man , but not many men will tolerate or trust a woman who feels the need to tell all intimate details and secrets whether to a girlfriend or the world via the internet. In a loving relationship you need privacy and absolute trust.
There is no problem whatsoever in posting about your happiness or general stuff,and everyone is happy to hear about love and romance,but I cringed on behalf of BK and you too at some of the things you revealed especially when the relationship was not yet tested in real life and mostly your raw hopes and dreams on display. I felt you were setting yourself up for a lot of hurt if you were not more circumspect. You were putting a lot of pressure on yourself and BK with not only yourself but a whole audience to please.
My blog about not posting so much was not written as a grumpy old woman, but out of concern for you and the harm, not to mention embarrassment, to your fragile self if things did not go as you wished.
In fact I am taking credit for you two noticing each other when BK first blogged and I talked to him about trains and his profile and you said about the NQ trains etc....
Did he ever cut his hair? His new photos are happy and I hope things do work out for you both and he will one day take you on that romantic steam train journey...

Posted by: thelynathdiary at November 4, 2007 11:42 PM

Uhumm, poor little atheist ?, Don't cry for me Argentina. Rich Catholic Agnostic would be more apt. I have very broad shoulders. A male said to me the other day that he was tired and emotional. Did we cry on each others shoulders. NO, I offered words of strength and reassurance. All good karma

Posted by: brane at November 4, 2007 11:26 PM

People if you don’t know your type you are sadly ill-equiped to play the dating game. Forewarned is forarmed. There are 3 types of people , those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who say “Cor, what happened?”. DON’T BE THE THIRD.

Posted by: brane at November 4, 2007 11:20 PM

Sorry typo , should be isfj

Posted by: brane at November 4, 2007 11:14 PM

Ok , ,let me respond to aliane first, my profile was deliberately designed to deter women like you from wasting my time. You seem an infj like the first love of my life. “The Marytr type”. You think God has reserved a special place in heaven for you. Listen to Alan Parsons “Eye in the sky and read the intp profile on intp.org. I spoke up for free speech. As English philosopher Edmund Burke said, ‘The only thing necessary for the triumph [of evil] is for good men to do nothing

Posted by: brane at November 4, 2007 11:13 PM

waterbombe you just made me laugh out loud re the little red costume.. hehe

Posted by: seraphsuzie at November 4, 2007 10:05 PM

Deal Breaker. Ordering fries at macca's and then getting asked by a gum chewing pup, would you like fries with that.

Posted by: amuso at November 4, 2007 9:59 PM

the lynathdiary, is it you that sits at home typing away on your computer on a Friday night, wearing a fetching little red costume and wondering how the rest of us look?

We look wonderful, thank you for asking.

.

Posted by: waterbombe at November 4, 2007 9:36 PM

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at November 3, 2007 6:16 PM:

-okay wishingandhoping2, you've just got my award of the day for making me chuckle out loud.
(Not an easy task with me.)

:))

Would that count as an example for males, of a deal maker?

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 3, 2007 11:53 PM

re the topic of aged care.. by "auntykaz" I have a very close relationship with both my daughters, we are planning to live practically next door to each other when they get maried in the near future.

We are planning that I will be a very involved grandmother, and my daughters are not planning to be "career, career, career" women either.., and be working full time.

So therefore, it will be much an extended family situation, so as I grow old, i will already be AN INTERGEL PART of the family.

As I take great care of my health..(you can read in my profile), with home cooking,a positive view on life, filling my mind with good clean uplifting things, being a spirtual person, having strong family relationships, having lots of activities and interests, not being a smoker or a drinker, I hope NOT to be a burden to my children, but live a long and productive life..(my family lives well in to their nineties, and they don't even look after their heaslth as well as I do)...and then hopefully and happily expire suddenly at an old age, of a reason that was NOT a self-inflicted illness.

( Others, however unfortunately selfishly burden the Australian taxpayer with SELF-INFLICTED sickneses in their old age ..ie; smoking and drinking and junk food eating related illnesses).

My children intend to look after me in my old age, and I intend to make this burden for them as LIGHT as possible.

Having taught my children my values, I expect them to have long , happy and healthy lives also, and also their husbands and children,( as they will have learnt to care for them, the way that I have cared for them.)

There is not senility in our family,( but if there was, that is definetly a situation where nursing home care would be required.)
I am talking about just old age, like my greatgrandfather (who lived with my grandmother) and my grandmother had.

Under these circumstances I look forward to living with my daughters to the day of my death, just like my great grandfather did.
i know that this view is considered old-fashioned in 2007, but I am a very old-fashioned girl!...(as people must have worked out by now by reading my various posts>)

In our family, it is a give and take situation, and we all get on well, and laugh alot!

Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at November 3, 2007 7:40 PM

Strangely looking after the folks is a dealbreaker to me even though i completely understand and admire the situation....I, too, have an elderly dad...but still a dealbreaker.

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at November 3, 2007 6:18 PM

That's just 'cos he can't have me....

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at November 3, 2007 6:16 PM

To "twoeyes" Oct 31st, 12.36am....I totally agree with you, especialy where you said.."if it were more regulated, it would truly be a nice place to sit and chat"....and also about how we can get to see more about the person who we see in the profiles.

That's what I thought these chat boards would be about, but was sadly disappointed.!!

Sometimes I wonder about some of the tripe that "gets through"..like when "ninaschen" anounced as a fact "you have been outed as man "somelifeinmeyet" etc; (accusing me of being "earl' or the man in black or whatever! as if it was a proven fact!
A total fabrication!)

Considering that the management are quite aware that I am NOT the mystery multi-profiler, I wonder who was responsible for approving the publishing of this tripe!!

I do expect "ninaschen" to publically apologise to me on these blogs, or she should be BANNED from them!..for SLANDER!!!!!!

This is slander, and many people who have emailed me and sent me kisses, would be given the wrong impression that they have been fooled by me, and it undermines the confidence that people have in other bloggers being who they say they are.

These "blogging clique'" have turned me off responding to email requests, or even sometimes kisses, as i would NOT be suprised if they THEMSELVES are fake profiling and sending people kisses, (even though they say they deplore fake profiles), as they have VERY LOW moral standards, i wouldn't "put it past them"!!

This means that genuine people may be waiting for emails from me, or kisses, as I have feel now turned off the credibility of this site, (when the management has not banned THE ABUSIVE ":CLIQUE" from blogging or submitting profiles.)

If R.S.V.P. was a truly credible web site, "ninaschen" would now be banned from this site, but I see thay are still posting her blogs, as if nothing happenend.!!

The site should be monitored more closely, (especially with the ads on tv now, and the influx of new people), and people like "ninaschen" (and those that repeated her lies about me,) also banned from the site. the site needs a BIG BROOM to clear out these loud-mouthed fish wives and their associates!

Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at November 3, 2007 4:23 PM

Awwwww fotoman...I just noticed in your profile that you want a woman from:

AFGHANISTAN , ALBANIA , ANTARCTICA , BANGLADESH , BURKINA FASO , CAYMAN ISLANDS , COTE D'IVOIRE , DJIBOUTI , FALKLAND ISLANDS (MALVINAS) , HOLY SEE (VATICAN CITY STATE) , KYRGYZSTAN , MALDIVES , MARTINIQUE , OMAN , PALAU , SAINT PIERRE AND MIQUELON , SAO TOME AND PRINCIPE , SEYCHELLES , SVALBARD AND JAN MAYEN , WESTERN SAHARA.

Fiddlesticks! Another opportunity lost!

I would never had stood a chance, seeing as I live in Australia.

-Is that another Deal Breaker?

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 3, 2007 1:44 AM

l have had a relationship, now friendship, with a man 8 years my senior who is the primary carer of his elderly mother. He also works full time and leads a fairly busy life.

Some saw this a negative to us having a relationship however l did not.
I admire his committment to his mother, his patience and care.

One of the reasons for this may be be that l work in Aged Care and see some residents in situations that are less than ideal .
For example family members who visit rarely but are not far away, families torn apart by feuding, siblings having to take on guardianship of a parent when another has financially fleeced the parent who is suffering dementia.
Elder abuse is certainly not localised to what we see, emotional abuse is often worse and unseen.

In Residential Aged Care we see the tip of the iceberg and usually those more in need, and in the case of privately owned facilities those with funds to enter facilities.
Concessional beds are available to those who cannot afford to pay a bond on entry, however the ratio is very low and they are highly sought.

Overall though the majority of elderly are cared for not in Residential
Care but at home by husbands, wives, children, grandchildren, friends and/or supported by funded care programs.

In our ever ageing population, the Aged Care community as a whole needs to have a strong advocate to ensure that Care needs are met.

I totally agree with thelynathdiary in that l do not expect my children to care for me if l need it, especially if my physical needs are great...........k

Posted by: auntykaz at November 3, 2007 1:24 AM

Deal Maker?

I've said this for years...my ideal is if he lived in the house next door or, we at least had a wing of our own in the same house -with a connecting bedroom door of course. ;)

Medical fact, males survive longer if they live with a female partner but females live longer if they don't end their days with a male partner.

Maybe the idea of adjoining households/rooms would be a compromise in the differing survival needs of the sexes?

As for living with and looking after my parents or, my kids looking after me (I'd be in my 90's going by family history) -either way with my lot, it'd shorten my life span...
And definitely destroy all my chances of a relationship -so, there's a dealbreaker for me.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 3, 2007 1:21 AM

yes suzie, men start wars and I disagree with their warring mentality but often it is their blind ignorance in the name of religion that drives them into war. Compassion would be a welcome addition to many of the more narrow minded religions. Women are generally more compassionate than men but religion often blinds them too.

"All we are saying... is give peace a chance."

Posted by: woodnwine at November 3, 2007 1:03 AM

Oh Patience.... of course you would know exactly how I live my life.. because your with me 24 hours a day.. so for yo u to say that I don't follow my Christian beliefs is of course so true... I mean, you just know all there is to know about me...

Oh and just for you because I know you like them so much :-) a big smile just for you...

Posted by: seraphsuzie at November 3, 2007 1:02 AM

Ladies mud wrestling night - again? So soon?
Suzie..those who state they follow Christian beliefs while never actually living by them are the reason I turned away from organised religion...that and the incident (well, alright there was more than one) with Sister Augustine Benedict..it was not my fault...truly...if anyone would like to hear it let me know..the blossoming of the fruit trees always brings back memories.....

Anyway was that the bell for Round 1? I am wearing a fetching little red costume tonight... you others?

!. It never ceases to amaze me how people read words but twist their meaning. It happens a lot here.
My point was not whether or not living with parents is good or bad or immature, but whether or not it would or could be a deal breaker for anyone contemplating a relationship with someone in that situation.

2 Waterbombe "those theories" is very vague. Can you tell me what or whose theories you are refering too?

3.Waterbiombe let's look at those countries where generations live together and ask some questions..
In India for instance..women are forced by custom to leave their family home to live with their husbands' families..and forever after be a personal servant to them. If she is lucky she will have lower caste servants to assist. If wealthier she may have a whole floor of a large house to herself. Not the same as a three bedder in Fountain Lakes... Is this exploitation of women a good thing? maybe it is the only way to survive so better than dying of starvation or being killed for not enough dowry, I suppose. What is the average life expectancy of the seniors in the household I wonder. How many years of servitude are there likely to be?
In Europe..lack of housing lack of space...different housing models may allow the successful inter generational living.
Other European countries and China it is also a matter of economic survival, etc etc etc...

4. I think you may find that it is you who has the outdated idea of what is happening and that the big trend in the mentioned countries and in Australia is to seperate living. The stereotyping of migrant families caring for each other while living together is rapidly becoming a thing of the past. There is plenty of evidence of this anecdotally and physically with the proliferation of Ethno -specific hostels and nursing homes and community care programmes. The Government has spent millions on this care which they wouldn't if there was no demand for it.

I did not say that Brane has not done something special for his mother and I am sure himself as it can be rewarding on some levels.

There is no doubting that a relationship with any full time carer needs to be carefully negotiated. Some people are carers for years. TV shows such as Mother and Son highlighted some difficulties, but not the really gruelling physical and mental exhaustion.
Let's not forget the life expectancy in Australia.

It is quite possible to be a loving caring son or daughter for an aged or disabled parent but not live with them full time. There are community services available or residential care. This may sound hard, (but is not)depending on the circumstances such as whether the need is short term or long term and what the diagnosis and prognosis may be,it is often better for all concerned not to take on a full time caring role. A lot of people do out of guilt or fear of what others will say and perhaps to redeem themselves in the eyes of a parent. Or they are forced into it by manipulative parents (and they are experts)It always leads to some form of resentment and in the worst cases Elder Abuse.

Is it a reasonable and fair trade for a younger generation to be expected to allocate years of their own life to the care of someone who has enjoyed theirs? It is not something I would want my children to do for me. I would want them to be there to care for me, and continue a relationship with me and be an advocate for me, but I would never want them to be my full time carer at the expense of their own precious years.

Of course to look on the bright side..not everyone ends up needing care in this way. Only about 30% of the population over 70.

This is an issue which affects mid lifers...they just get their children settled and then their parents start to need help, so it is quite relevant to dating deal makers breakers .

Posted by: thelynathdiary at November 3, 2007 12:49 AM

Ah religion.... makes me glad to be an atheist, however l sincerely admire those who have a faith that sustains them particularly in hard times.

It's just not for me..........k

Posted by: auntykaz at November 3, 2007 12:36 AM

Yeah woodnwine and who starts those wars? Men do... not God... men.....read my previous posts re Don't blame God for what man does...

You believe in faith? Faith in what?

Posted by: seraphsuzie at November 3, 2007 12:19 AM

alaine

are you implying that John lennon deserved to be shot? Funny how religion is responsible for most of the world's wars and violence isn't it? I believe in faith but I don't believe in murder.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 3, 2007 12:11 AM

Well if self proclaimation is a criteria for being shot dead, Aliane, then John Lennon should have lots of company in heaven, according to your post.

He was murdered by a lunatic trying to impress and get his name in the paper, infamy, look at me look at me, see what l did???

To say that he was shot as a result of religion is stretching a very long bow, and quite absurd, in my opinion..............k

Posted by: auntykaz at November 2, 2007 11:19 PM

Yes amuso but as I said.. God gave man free will..do you know what that is?

Posted by: seraphsuzie at November 2, 2007 9:48 PM

Hi Suzie. but surely if God exists, man is God's doing?

Posted by: amuso at November 2, 2007 9:32 PM

brane... I take my hat off to you darling. I hope you find a special lady as I think you deserve one.

Two Eyes.. Great post... Agree with you totally....
By the way, you've done a bit of peeking at someone I know VERY well!!! Why not try a X next time. You could be pleasanty surprised!!!!!

Posted by: amdoingit at November 2, 2007 9:27 PM

violence in religion waterbombe??.. man's doing not God's.... its called free will. ... It's about time mankind stopped blaming God for the world's problems and turned around and looked at themselves and how their own actions have contributed to them.

But I have to agree with you in your view about the lynathdiary :-)

Posted by: seraphsuzie at November 2, 2007 9:10 PM

Adult men and women live with their parents in most countries in the world. It's only in Western European cultures that families live apart. Even in Europe, several generations live together in Italy and Spain for example, and it doesn't mean the adult children stay immature.

What you have there, thelynathdiary, is an outdated view of maturity and family relationships. My guess is you've had too much psychology education. Those theories about 'children must leave home to mature' are still running round there, but they've been discredited everywhere else by simply looking at other cultures.
In most of the world, parents look after their kids when they are young, then when the parents get old, the children return the care. Both generations still manage to "grow up".

It sounds like this is what Brane did for 3 years, and I think he is to be commended for his loyalty, care, and compassion, and you could do a hell of a lot worse than getting yourself a guy with those qualities. (I'm too old for you, brane, *sigh* and in another state to boot, or i'd be popping over for a coffee :-)

Posted by: waterbombe at November 2, 2007 8:52 PM

aliane, you big bully, you leave that poor little atheist alone!!

Saying that John Lennon deserved to be shot for something he said ...SAID, Aliane, not DID...reveals the underlying violence in religion. That's one reason we atheists won't have any truck with it.

Posted by: waterbombe at November 2, 2007 8:35 PM

Brane, yes there are reasons why adult children live with their parents,, some reasons debatable...but the question is "is this a deal breaker?"
Even if a man is living with his mother for all good reasons the question remains is this something that an adult relationship can encompass successfully?

Posted by: thelynathdiary at November 2, 2007 4:02 PM

Ok, lets discuss the topic of males living at home with mum since it started this blog. There are various reasons why males do this. Apart from mummas boys some males feels a strong obligation to look after their mothers when their father dies. My father made me promise that on his deathbed, I bought a house nearby,but far enough away for a sense of distance and did not move in till she had a stroke and refused point blank to go to a nursing home. I understood fully that I was committing social hari-kari but it made her happy during the last three years of her life. Now I own that house too. At the funny part was I was the black sheep of the family but i am a strong willed caring male who keeps his promises. Find the facts first before you assume mummas boy just cause they live at home.

Posted by: brane at November 2, 2007 3:37 PM

I do not appreciate it when I meet a male for coffee and they start talking about pronography, and wanting to go somewhere quieter like my car, and when I leave dont like being groped and kissed in a public place, I thought this should be reported to rsvp as it is a very unpleasant situation to be in the male involved is Philip Andrews Panda679. I am not a prude but don't like being taken advantage of. Regards Fay Dermody

Posted by: funlovinfay at November 2, 2007 2:18 PM

Deal Maker & Breaker:
photo's, sad but true as this seems to be what you get judged on, hence the reason I put up silly ones so that if your interested in me for me you will read on.
Question:
What is it with not replying to a kiss ?
Question:
What is it that makes people feel they have to be in the Top 100?

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at November 2, 2007 1:46 PM

deal maker/breaker- photo's, sad but true as this seems to be what you get judged on ( hence the reason I put up silly ones)

-what is it with not replying to a kiss ??

Posted by: ridersonthestorm74 at November 2, 2007 1:39 PM

I couldn't find the exact blog as I am new to this site and still navigating my way around.

But there is someone in these blogs advocating a load of codswallop about the key to dating success being "making oneself a better person."

Whilst that sort of advice may be appropriate to those who are self destructing or trashing their existing relationships, or losing their grip in isolation, it is not sound advice for those whose goal is to succeed in love.

To succeed in love, you have to be prepared to give and take, to compromise, to learn to live with another person. And you have to work on the relationship continually. It takes hard work.

Egocentrism is one of the worst destroyers of relationships.

I hope no-one is listening, let alone believing the nonsense, that I have seen printed in these blogs.

To counter the possibility that nice people are conceding that this person may have a point (and she DOES NOT) would RSVP please spend some of their profits on professional counsellors, to write more sensible articles. Too many blogs. Too little professional and wise counsels.

Buy Toby Green's article in last week's syndicated column about egocentrism for starters.

Posted by: lordperfect at November 2, 2007 12:55 PM

Ok Back to the topic Deal Breakers
1: Loopy left wing new age types
2: Fruity religious types

Posted by: brane at November 2, 2007 5:01 AM

Ahh touched a nerve have we. I believe in karma but little else. I hope one day that John Lennons "imagine" dream is reached. I understand what it is to be religious but thankfully I recovered. Be rational, love your fellow man as that INTP guy said. Don't think you know it all cause you don't know enough to realise how little you know. Understand the windmills of your mind :) I buried a friend of 30 years yesterday. I did like your prayers but not your self rightousness

Posted by: brane at October 31, 2007 11:25 PM

Really aliane, you need to lighten up. You are starting to mirror the complaints about the cartoons. No one has the absolute truth and religion is perhaps an evolved trait that generates progeny. Don't take the name of the lord my God in vain, Jesus Christ, wake up and smell the roses. The first love of my life became born again. I did not criticize her choice but nor did I wish to pretend to believe. I had a full stream catholic education which I consider a religious inoculation. Read the website for the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic. We don't know and we don't care is their motto. I appreciate you right to believe anything you wish but appreciate our right to disbelieve anything you say. I really liked Dave Allen and his irreverence.
This isn't a bible society, it's a dating service and bending to political correctness will diminish it's value. You have to laugh at life, it's the idiots who take things too seriously that cause most of the world's problems

Posted by: brane at October 31, 2007 12:05 PM

Deal breakers?

Inappropriate bad language,
negativity -initiated and directed towards a person (rather than commenting in a general sense) and presumptuousness.

Deal makers?

All the positive comments on this topic which could and do (I will check someone's profile after reading such) lead to viewing of profiles and even, dare I say it, contact between some members and friendships.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 31, 2007 3:50 AM

isnt it truely about time that there was a new topic for a blog, and nothing so inane as the new tv commercial (which i havnt seen)

Is it possible that seeing there are so many suggestions that a topic has a life span of about 6-8 weeks. If it hasnt been said by then , then it probably wont be. Then the topic doesnt degenerate into another nastushum casting episode, about what has been written before.

If all and sundry ( by that i mean the genuine and nice people, not going to list them cos i am sure i would leave someone out, and start another spate of tonguelashing and vitriol, and to be honest i dont need it ) passsed their comments like they do in an interesting and informative way...............then the blogs would be truely a nice thing to read, and give more of an insight to the real people behind the names that make positive contributions, to this forum.

besides isnt that what we all want..............an insight to who the people are behind the names, to enable us to make friends and also the possibility of meeting someone here.

Alot of us here are either alone, but not lonely.....or lonely but not alone, and thats why this place was formed.. If the morons and people with multiple personalities, and people who have nothing better to do than spew forth. totally undiluted tripe and exspose themselves as the weidos that they are , were more regulated, then this place would truely be a nice place to sit and chat.

{ CHAT ROOM NEEDED }

thanks!

Posted by: twoeyes at October 31, 2007 12:36 AM

Rocco.... I think the increase in kisses you recieve would have more to do with your new photos than your new profile. Photos seem to be what matters most here.

Posted by: raphael62 at October 30, 2007 11:25 PM

fotoman: Keep blogging. You give yourself away...

Loved the pig/sausage - months ago when it first went round the traps...like most of your comments - well past the use by date...

Posted by: hiddencharms at October 30, 2007 10:51 PM

this was sent to me tonight

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

1. Men are like ....Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like.Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like ......Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like .....Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like .......Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like .........Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ......Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like ...Popcorn .. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ........Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 30, 2007 10:40 PM

K.. jumped on for a sticky nose and you're under fire.. Wow..
Looks like you're left to hold the fort love while everyone is away. Best I come to the rescue and put in an appearance.

Have to agree with you Waterbaby.. wasn't noice at all. Hope you're enjoying yourself girl??See you when you get back!!!

Just a Kodak Moment Eric??? Glad it's ok now!!!

Gotta play nice guys.OK??

Martingale, give up the woodnwine saga darling. He's away till later this week and some of the lady bloggers are away this week also. IF w'n'w's absence has created a vacuum it's purely because he's not here to make his comments and therefore we can't respond to his comments. Unlike myself he is a regular blogger so his absence is duly noted but you are way off course ok? Do I detect a hint of ??? Honestly!!!!

Hey Malsie.. Big hi girl.. X

Posted by: amdoingit at October 30, 2007 10:24 PM

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American
Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments the Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all -
3 proofs that Jesus was a WOMAN:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to do.

AMEN!

Posted by: thefotografer at October 30, 2007 9:32 PM

What that was a game ????

Bugger all that effort............k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 30, 2007 9:29 PM

martingale if you read posts between cameraman and l of late they are simply communications...no fawning, no seeking male or female approval just people bloggin.

Yeah we had a bit of a dust up, but to allude that l enjoy his insults??
l don't think so, and made my point clear on that one.

Thought l handled myself okay actually. I am not some weak female who needs to be patted on the head to be happy either.

I will stand up for myself if neccessary and have no problem doing so, but also appreciate support when it is given............k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 30, 2007 9:20 PM

That sounds like a confession to me, 'Fotografer'. Carry on, we're waiting!

Posted by: martingale1 at October 30, 2007 9:06 PM

martingale1: Agree with you. Fotoman's true colours are spewing out of his Box Brownie, once again.

In fact, his posts are starting to become vaguely and strangely familiar....

Posted by: hiddencharms at October 30, 2007 8:51 PM

Ok,
Thanks for all playing the game, but unfortunately you have all been sucked in.
The purpose of the exercise was to display how we try to interpret the written word and then place our own spin on things.
How we make perceived judgments based on what we are thinking about what we are reading without ever knowing the true intent or meaning of the written word.
It just goes to show the fragility of the human condition and how quick we are to judge something, even if we know nothing about the person we are judging.
You have all done it and that is sad because at this stage of life I would have thought we had learnt something after our journey.
Old perceptions and habits still pervade our minds and still pervade our thinking and our perception of what is real and what is not.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 30, 2007 8:29 PM

Now listen up yo!!

Jigsaw is a mean dude !!! hides behind a mask like some of the charlatans on this rat trap

But jigsaw means what he says baby,he is a mean man !! yo he is a destroyer wooow!!!! A DESTROYER of mind and body!!
Ummm….hang on………….ooooohhhhh…..that was ugly,yuk,yuk yuk,

Justin JUSTIN!!!! Thanks boy another latte for your old man…………what is this ???????? Rat poison a la crème???

Water baby.rrrrrrrrrr………no I didn’t mean you………and duh!!1. She is a woman right?? Right???

Posted by: thefotografer at October 30, 2007 8:17 PM

Once again the Foto Negative shows his true (techni)colours. Calling women bitches then pretending it refers to dogs, a double insult in fact -- accusing the vast majority on this site of lying -- the veneer of the friendly bloke next door telling jokes didnt last long did it?! You shouldnt even be responding to him, unless you enjoy being insulted. He despises women, cant you see that? Once again we see women looking for male approval, proving my point that woodenwhine's absence has created a vacuum. Wake up to yourselves ladies and ignore this one dimensional image!

Posted by: martingale1 at October 30, 2007 8:15 PM

Why waterbombe thank you l am positively glowing....and not from grandmotherhood.......k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 30, 2007 8:08 PM

not noice, not noice at all, fotografer...i think he must have meant me, auntykaz... *gasp*

cos compared to the fotografer you are a chickybabe

Posted by: waterbombe at October 30, 2007 8:03 PM

Last word Larry that's you.......off you go ya big softie...blood and gore hmmmmm, figured you something else........k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 30, 2007 8:00 PM

You could have fooled me,

Sorry I gotta go the first mutilation is starting

Posted by: thefotografer at October 30, 2007 7:57 PM

Jigsaw Cameraman???

Is that a fillum or are you going to do a jigsaw???

And l am not a grandma either.....well yet anyway.....far too young pet.........k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 30, 2007 7:49 PM

OK you cranky old excuse for a grandmother…I apologize

Posted by: thefotografer at October 30, 2007 7:45 PM

Auntykaz,
Oh I have had enough of this and I will go and watch somebody I can relate to.
What do you think of Jigsaw ????

Posted by: thefotografer at October 30, 2007 7:42 PM

Calling a woman a female dog is not acceptable under ANY circumstances, Kodak Moment. And you know it. Apologise s'il-vous-plaît.

Posted by: waterbombe at October 30, 2007 7:41 PM

Yet another insult, Cameraman you resort to them often....

Made a mistake stood corrected and still you persist..............k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 30, 2007 7:39 PM

Well check out you essay on cats and dogs if you have the time.

I thought l had a bit of a go back at mainly your negativity and you end up with your back up....

Like l said its a website for heavens sake not the bible.............k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 30, 2007 7:37 PM

Auntykaz,
You should have got your French translation book out before you made the statement.
Doesn’t that support what I am saying about the brainless and the beautiful ?

Posted by: thefotografer at October 30, 2007 7:35 PM

what challenge are you talking about?
I answered clear and plain a post from a frustrated RSVP er.

check again
momma kaz and I think you defense of the beautiful people is somewhat misguided.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 30, 2007 7:33 PM

BK l have my French translation book out and stand corrected, thank you.

At least l admit my errors gracefully..............k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 30, 2007 7:32 PM

That was not your intent Cameraman read what you wrote again and be honest..
Your comment was an angry outburst at a challenge..........k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 30, 2007 7:25 PM

Auntykaz

Bitch is a correct term for a female dog and is used quite frequently in the greyhound and breeding industry so I think it I sa quite appropriate use of the word

Posted by: thefotografer at October 30, 2007 7:21 PM

And thank you brushkestrel for your response.........k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 30, 2007 7:18 PM

And half the male equivalents also Cameraman.

Nothing wrong with calling a spade a spade, using bad language merely illustrates your own ignorance.....insults also................k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 30, 2007 7:17 PM

And again Auntykaz,
There are no laws forbidding me to call a spade a spade half of the ignorant bitches need to live in a kennel.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 30, 2007 7:07 PM

Répondez s'il-vous-plaît" or "Réservez s'il-vous-plaît", a French phrase that translates to "Please respond". It is with this meaning that invitation cards and similar documents are often marked with "R.S.V.P.".
thanyou auntykaz we have so many ill manered menand women on this site they should meet each other. the only trouble is they want respond!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: thefotografer at October 30, 2007 7:04 PM

auntykaz:

RSVP stands for: "Répondez s'il-vous-plaît" or "Réservez s'il-vous-plaît", a French phrase that translates to "Please respond".

It does not indicate that response is optional - quite the contrary, in fact. It indicates that it is expected.

Posted by: brushkestrel at October 30, 2007 6:50 PM

Cameraman, what does RSVP stand for??

Is it not respond if you please???

If you please???

There are no laws saying you must reply in a way that is suitable only to one person.

I do not reply to every kiss sent to me purely because l do not wish to.RSVP if you please.

Similarly not every kiss l send is replied to. RSVP if you please.

No skin off my nose if they don't.

No big deal, no big drama.

Its just a website at the end of the day..... right???..............k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 30, 2007 6:20 PM

not that there is anything wrong with being a size 18-20 .. .right mrdarcy??????

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 30, 2007 6:08 PM

globalpsychedelic and everyone in-between

THE TRUTH ABOUT CATS AND DOGS

Or things you wanted to know but did not want to believe.
This is the story of life, of men and woman, on dating, sex and their choices and this is the way it is.

The handsome men on this site as in any other part of life KNOW THAT THEY ARE HANDSOME

The beautiful women on this site KNOW THAT THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL.

This is what happens: The beautiful women complain that they can never meet the right person, why is this?
It is because the beautiful woman is looking for the handsome man.
But the handsome man unlike the beautiful woman is not only willing to go to a lower step down the ladder because he knows that if he does this he can have sex with whoever he chooses, and in between times, before he once again attracts a beautiful woman.
The beautiful woman on the other hand fantasizes a lot, well, a hell of a lot.
She not only wants a handsome man but she wants him to be her soul mate her lover but also to be faithful to her.
Now this is where it comes unstuck. The beautiful woman gets her handsome man and then finds out after a few months that he is actually a dog, so what she does is then accept something a little bit lower in order to send out a message to the man that she can do the same thing.
In the meanwhile the man gets the message that he was right in the first place, that she is a scraggy cat, and will sleep with anyone.
However then the beautiful woman looks at her self and thinks I will not stoop that low again, so she goes back on the trail of searching for the handsome man and finds one only to keep repeating the process.
In other words the handsome man and the beautiful woman deserve each other; it is just that all those stuck in between are left scratching their heads not realizing they have been players in the Land of the Handsome and the Beautiful.
Much the same as the Rich and the Famous.We supply the money and they wreak the rewards.

After a lot of research and experience on this site and as a casual observer and a participant in the dating game,
I can know tell you the truth about cats and dogs because if you don’t believe it, have a look at all the beautiful women and handsome men who have been on this site for years without getting into a long term relationship.
And that is why you send lots of unanswered kisses and emails and occasionally get replies that make you fall off your chair laughing at the incredible self love and arrogance of these individuals.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 30, 2007 6:07 PM

I think Matthew McFadyen is the sultriest Fitzwilliam Darcy and totally prefer Colin Firth as Mark Darcy in Bridget Jones' Diary.....

Wait a minute...nice boys don'y kiss like that.....second
best line in the whole movie and you have to wait til the very end for it.

Best line is the last one......k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 30, 2007 5:35 PM

mrdarcy79, you are actually thinking about the actor Colin Firth. Colin Friels is an Australian actor, and I don't think that he's ever played Mr Darcy on film before. However, as much as I love Colin Firth as Mr Darcy, as well as Matthew MacFadyen, I have to agree with my mother. David Rintoul played the best Fitzwilliam Darcy, in the 1980 BBC mini-series. He remains proud, but does soften around Elizabeth, even though he doesn't soften as much as Colin Firth does. But hey, with the exception of Sir Lawrence Olivier (what a foppish Darcy he played!), I love all the different Mr Darcy's in all of their roles.

Oh, and as I've said before, honesty is a deal maker, along with a magnificent smile, and a great sense of humour. I hope you can all be as happy as I am......but I've promised not to go there anymore, so I won't.

Happy Hunting everyone else!!

Posted by: wraecca at October 30, 2007 5:06 PM

Yes I agree...I think these people actually believe what they write.
Apparently size 14 & 16 is slim, smoking only a packed a day is not smoking, age is what you dreamed up, and a photo is that old glam shot you had done to try and save your failing marriage 10 yrs ago. Oh well with the law of averages there must be some honest ones out there.
Good luck to all.

Posted by: notallmarriedorgay at October 30, 2007 8:31 AM

Definitely a dealmaker...the profile of CerealMonogamy:
"Your last date a CrunchyNut? Tired of the Froot Loops? Special-K guy seeks girl ready to Sustain a relationship that's Just Right...SURPRISE TOY INSIDE"
Very cute...channeling frigidmoansdiary.

Posted by: funlovertoo at October 30, 2007 6:06 AM

I agree wishfulthinker03...had thet happen numerous times then can't delete their kiss.
RSVP can't you make it so we can delete the kiss if they have removed their profile please!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 30, 2007 12:26 AM

Oh the other deal breaker...just as I was reading more blogs...those who send you a kiss then disappear. Do they regret it that much that they have to hide? Now I can't even delete the damn thing! Why waste me time I wonder.....

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at October 30, 2007 12:09 AM

hahaha fotographer....the RSPCA vs RSVP...too damn funny! I'm sure I've met some of those strange half eaten things in my time!

As with the comments made by MrDarcy (cute little thing that he is), well, it works both ways. Men lie too. "Athletic" wasn't intended for Sumo Wrestlers, a "few lines" doesn't mean you could plant a crop of potatoes upon a forehead, people lie - or perhaps they truly believe what they say - either way it's not right.

You can ask for your wishlist on this site, and you might get lucky and find 1 of those "criteria" met, but then you spend the next three weeks waiting for him to contact you, and when he does, you wait another two weeks while he juggles the masses and contacts you again. A simple I'm not really interested would suffice. Why do people find it so hard to simply be honest? That's the deal breaker...

Deal makers...for me it's educated, honest men. Very rare species I might add, infact I'm beginning to think that extinction is a distinct possibility. I'm not into V8 supercars, fishing, motorbikes and the like, doesn's mean I'm a "girly" girl either.

Oh well....I guess I shall remain the wishfulthinker....forever wishing that "he" was really out there, and not a nightmare in disguise...

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at October 30, 2007 12:01 AM

Deal Makers:
- a nice happy smiley photo
- similar intrests

Deal-Breakers:
- Photo's that are
- angry
- taken a long way away
- show you drunk with a member of the opposite sex
- old and out of date
- inaccurate (you're now much older or fatter)
- inaccurately stated weight (slim/average does not equal size 18/20)
- saying you want to be treated like a princess, but are down to earth
- lying
- going on a date, deciding it's really working and want to go exclusive and then keeping your profile up and continually logging on
- continually metioning your ex.
- people that bring all their previous hangups to a new situation (I'm not your ex, don't treat me like I'm guilty of whatever they did to upset you before you even know me)
- If we exchange numbers and go on a date, then return my calls and texts if you're interested. If you're not then have the maturity to say that you're not interested any longer
- lying about smoking/drinking. Turning up to a date and lighting up when you say you're a non-smoker is a real turn-off.
- No Timers, If you're so wrapped up in your career or other life and don't have time for a relationship, then don't go looking for one and waste my time.

Okay so here's the deal, I'm a guy that genuinely likes romantic comedies, so I mention it not to be a sop but as I love a good lighthearted laugh.

I also really enjoy extreme sports, am doing a PhD in Engineering, play (prop) rugby (Union) and am seeking women 23-35 with no kids. Why do I get kisses from single 20yr old football (SA) loving, v8 driving bogans with kids and no job. There is no compatibility there at all.

If all the women that write up that they're interested in genuine intelligent, truthful men are right, then I don't get why they don't respond to emails or kisses.

Wow, I just read that and it's comes across a little angry. LoL. It's really not, I'm just sick wasting my time with women that lie or aren't ready for a relationship and state that they are. I've had a few date's with women that i've met on here, and there hasn't been any chemistry, and that's fine we've parted company and wished each other the best. Those genuine types are just few and far between though.

I just read a lot of the earlier posts and thought that it might be right, maybe people should try to communicate in real-life with others around them, but in today's society, we're brought up that talking to strangers on the bus and in the hallway and elevators is wrong, and if you try it you must be a freak of some description.

Cheers
Darryl aka MrDarcy79
-yes it's a Pride and Prejudice reference, Colin Friels is the best. If you don't get the reference, then google it. It's quite accurate actrually, oving, caring with a dark brooding side that is not brought out in all the film versions but is in the book.

Posted by: mrdarcy79 at October 29, 2007 11:28 PM

Deal Makers:
- a nice happy smiley photo
- similar intrests

Deal-Breakers:
- Photo's that are
- angry
- taken a long way away
- show you drunk with a member of the opposite sex
- old and out of date
- inaccurate (you're now much older or fatter)
- inaccurately stated weight (slim/average does not equal size 18/20)
- saying you want to be treated like a princess, but are down to earth
- lying
- going on a date, deciding it's really working and want to go exclusive and then keeping your profile up and continually logging on
- continually metioning your ex.
- people that bring all their previous hangups to a new situation (I'm not your ex, don't treat me like I'm guilty of whatever they did to upset you before you even know me)
- If we exchange numbers and go on a date, then return my calls and texts if you're interested. If you're not then have the maturity to say that you're not interested any longer
- lying about smoking/drinking. Turning up to a date and lighting up when you say you're a non-smoker is a real turn-off.
- No Timers, If you're so wrapped up in your career or other life and don't have time for a relationship, then don't go looking for one and waste my time.

Okay so here's the deal, I'm a guy that genuinely likes romantic comedies, so I mention it not to be a sop but as I love a good lighthearted laugh.

I also really enjoy extreme sports, am doing a PhD in Engineering, play (prop) rugby (Union) and am seeking women 23-35 with no kids. Why do I get kisses from single 20yr old football (SA) loving, v8 driving bogans with kids and no job. There is no compatibility there at all.

If all the women that write up that they're interested in genuine intelligent, truthful men are right, then I don't get why they don't respond to emails or kisses.

Wow, I just read that and it's comes across a little angry. LoL. It's really not, I'm just sick wasting my time with women that lie or aren't ready for a relationship and state that they are. I've had a few date's with women that i've met on here, and there hasn't been any chemistry, and that's fine we've parted company and wished each other the best. Those genuine types are just few and far between though.

I just read a lot of the earlier posts and thought that it might be right, maybe people should try to communicate in real-life with others around them, but in today's society, we're brought up that talking to strangers on the bus and in the hallway and elevators is wrong, and if you try it you must be a freak of some description.

Cheers
Darryl aka MrDarcy79
-yes it's a Pride and Prejudice reference, Colin Friels is the best. If you don't get the reference, then google it. It's quite accurate actrually, oving, caring with a dark brooding side that is not brought out in all the film versions but is in the book.

Posted by: mrdarcy79 at October 29, 2007 11:12 PM

notallmarriedorgay (good name)
I agree with your take on honesty and that is how I approached this RSVP thing. I too put a lot of thought into my initial profile and made small changes along the way but to no avail.
I have only been here since July so I am no expert but I am learning fast.
I had an honest profile and photos yet could not even get a rejection response to my "kisses" just silence.
So I changed my profile 3 weeks ago to an absurd, cynical, load of crap out of frustration and now I'm getting kissed. Go figure.

The women in my age bracket, in my area, seem to want George Clooney to walk into their lives and sweep them off their feet, good luck girls. There are some notable exceptions (hello Heather) but all in all I think the longer I stay the more I will understand the rules of this "game" and be able to avoid it's pitfalls

Posted by: rocco61 at October 29, 2007 7:50 PM

Good one "fotographer' about the mix up of the women between the R.S.P.C.A and R.S.V.P.!! LOL!!! and how the chat board began!!

Keep the wit coming!

Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at October 29, 2007 6:28 PM

I used to think profiles were very important as I did go to quite a bit of trouble to present who I thought I was but...I'm now just a tad jaded....After the last contact I paid for which I got a reply and contacted by phone with the result being an arranged meeting for coffee....After the call I received an email from the person coming clean that they had not been completely honest with their age and were in fact 5 yrs older...This I have found to be the norm so I cracked and sent off a flame mail that ended with ...Why is it on this site that the men pay and the women lie....Nothing worthwhile can possibly start with a lie.

For me..it's be honest..Know how to spell and have a life.

Hey BrilliantBlue...Lovely photo's

Posted by: notallmarriedorgay at October 29, 2007 5:02 PM

New Age and Byron Bay are the two deal breakers for me.

This is the scary thing.
Many years ago a lot of the hill women from Byron Bay found themselves lying in this forest of green funny looking weeds.
When they got up and started to walk around they did not realize where they were.
After 3 or 4 days it was like a survival camp from a nuclear bomb blast.
The women had congregated together and realized that all the men were gone.
The only thing that was left was their dogs and cats.
Now, a funny thing started to happen after a few months. They noticed the cats were growing to immense sizes and the dogs started disappearing one by one.
They found out that the cats had started eating that funny green weed and started growing to enormous sizes and as they grew their appetites grew and the weeds were no longer sufficient to sustain them so they started eating the dogs.
The women then had a meeting and began wondering what they could do about these fat cats.
They decided to see who would take the cats off their hands.
One woman in the group was the only one with a computer so she began to search the web day and night to see who could take the cats.
At their next meeting she presented her findings and the group agreed to go with her recommendation.
The only problem was , they all had to log in and registered and it was only after a week when no one had turned up to pick up the cats that they realized they had not registered with the RSPCA as they first thought but with RSVP!!! And that my friends is how RSVP began. 

Posted by: thefotografer at October 29, 2007 4:20 PM

i'm not having much luck - most people don't respond to me at all, or stop responding after a few emails. i'm really confused as to what the problem is...maybe i'm saying something really bad or something? i don't get it! any help or suggestions would be MOST welcome

Posted by: globalpsychedelic at October 29, 2007 2:06 PM

Just testing to see how long it takes for this comment to be posted.

Comment on topic, why not....hmmm... oh yer... women who pose with alcoholic beverage in hand for profile photo, yuk, makes you look like pisspot

Posted by: rocco61 at October 29, 2007 12:47 PM

I can well understand how scarey that would be dealing in the "real" world with that sort of person, waterbombe - I just meant in the context of the blogs, if that's what was actually happening here.

Posted by: malsie at October 29, 2007 10:35 AM

On another note, I have had the honour to be in contact with friendsfirst64 in Townsville since reading the blogs back at the start of October. He seemed like a nice guy so I used a stamp.
YOU TOWNSVILLE GIRLS, HE IS A WINNER!
You want a reliable, hardworking, honest, caring guy? Look no further. And a bent sense of humour to boot. Sure he has two young kids and is a full time dad. Spend the time to get to know him (he's slow to open up) becoz if I lived within cooee, I would snap him up.
Enuf advertising for other bloggers.
appy searching guys

Posted by: soulmamma1 at October 29, 2007 1:41 AM

Back to the discussion at hand guys.
Deal breakers......Kenny (the movie), drug/alcohol dependency, honesty in the profile ("By the way......My age, child status, marital status in my profile is wrong"),
Deal Makers......guys who value their kids, speak nicely of their exes, are reliable (turn up on time, answer the mobile when you ring not return the call 5 hours later, or call when they are running late and you're cooking fish BEFORE they are late not 1 hour after they are meant to be their!!!!!!). I got so pissed with that one that I told this guy that all the excuses under the sun didn't cover his bad manners and I expected a call next time he was running late and that I would never discuss this with him again.......well he did it again 4 days later and I refused to discuss his lame-arse excuses and blocked calls after that. (He was feeding/walking the dog to 9.15 when he was supposed to pick me up at 7.......on a saturday nite. Yeah right.) He was warned. And I warn you girls.

Sorry if I sound childish but some guys just don't get it. We women have a life too and it doesn't constitute waiting around for hours for the phone to ring and then swallowing any excuse just because we accept less than what we deserve. If I choose to spend time with you it is because I have given up time with someone I love (friends, kids, family) and this is no small thing.
I think that any guy who chooses to spend time with me, even for the "coffee date" has done some juggling himself so I appreciate the effort he made too. Quid Quo Pro
(I think I got that right.....never was any good at latin)
Flexibility, RESPECT, and compassion. Not a big ask but, I am finding, a proverbial needle in the haystack.
On a lighter note, I hid my profile for 4 weeks becoz I was so over this but then put it up again with the blurb next to the photo saying "Nobody hears you until you fart" and guess what?!?!?!?!?!? Kisses with 18 hours!!!!!!! I was just seeing if it would get a better response that "Curvacious woman looking for soulmate" and not actually expecting anything.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT WORKED!
Got a coffee date Tuesday.
Wish me luck.
Any guy who reads that and initiates contact deserves to have my full attention. He saw past the humour to someone who is a little wacky, but sincere.
Deal maker?........maybe

Posted by: soulmamma1 at October 29, 2007 1:36 AM

What love life Lord?

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at October 28, 2007 6:30 PM

You lot are ruining my love life

Posted by: lordcholmondeley at October 28, 2007 4:44 PM

You don't have to have "personality disorders" to be dangerous either.

Declining cognitive function and the ability to process complex thoughts can be a precursor to violent outbursts also.

I have been on the receiving end of an episode like this and although l handled it well it still rattled me a bit.

Behavioural function is an interesting subject to me as is responses and outcomes to behavioural management............k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 28, 2007 4:34 PM

I received a contact from someone on this site.But can't reply because their profile is blocked.

Posted by: sarge43 at October 28, 2007 3:58 PM

ah, no, malsie, I belive fascinating is not the word you use if you actually become involved with one of these people... frightening would be a more accurate word. My sister is a psych nurse in an outpatients facility and she was chased around the building one day by a patient with a knife when she was there alone...he had turned into a different person...fortunately her husband turned up unexpectedly and dealt with the guy...but it brought the reality home to all the family.

Posted by: waterbombe at October 28, 2007 3:34 PM

no, sorry, BB, I don't put my photo up. But I look like you'll look in another 8 years, pretty much. Or put another way, when I was 46, I looked very much like you do now. Odd, isn't it?

Posted by: waterbombe at October 28, 2007 3:11 PM

Waterbombe…..can you put your photo up for a short time as I like to put a face to people on the blog site?

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 28, 2007 1:02 PM

wow, waterbombe, you're suggesting "real" multiple personalities, not just "pretend" ones to wind people up? How fascinating if that's actually the case (disconcerting as it must be for anyone who experiences it, but objectively observed, fascinating nevertheless).

Posted by: malsie at October 28, 2007 12:41 PM

oh God, BB, now my insecurities are even deeper...it's off to the trauma centre for me..

now let's see, which of my personalities can I ask to take me?...

Posted by: waterbombe at October 28, 2007 11:59 AM

I meant that’s ‘right’ Waterbombe….I missed the right which made it read really badly

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 28, 2007 11:31 AM

I meant that’s ‘right’ Waterbombe….I missed the right which made it really badly

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 28, 2007 11:31 AM

That’s Waterbombe…I majored in Psychology at uni….they are usually totally unaware of the other personalities when they are in one.

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 28, 2007 11:27 AM

you don't necessarily have to be intelligent to have mulitple personas, malsie, or the universities would be full of oddballs..hmmmm....(thinks again).

Got off track there. What I meant to say was
...in some cases multiple personas are not chosen or created, they have arrived uninvited by the person who has them. It's a dreadful thing to suffer from, and people who do have it deserve serious care and concern. However, tthey are quite entitled to blog on websites. So a person with ten profiles mightn't necessarily be a creative genius, that's all I'm saying....

And I got my information from an extremely reliable source.

Posted by: waterbombe at October 28, 2007 11:14 AM

hi, waterbombe - I have read about that theory, and creative though it is, not sure I believe it! If it is true, though - wow, what a brain to think up so many convincing and varying personnas in their entirety.... anybody got any proof for this theory? (hey, Weta, sounding like you now... tee hee)

Posted by: malsie at October 28, 2007 10:17 AM

Fotographer

I'll do a deal. Save you time.

Swap you your joke book for her illicits.

Posted by: lordcholmondeley at October 28, 2007 5:22 AM

That meeting is not to be missed! McDonalds, you say? The 'gang' has booked their flights. Don't start without us, please.

Posted by: ninaschen at October 27, 2007 10:48 PM

I think somelifeinmeyet
you should put up a photo and arrange to meet me at Mcdonalds on Pennant Hills Rd. that is the one next to Bunningsat 1.30pm tomorrow(Sunday).
My car is easily recognised it will be the one that is white with the funny blue squares on the side
If you haven't got a photo I will bring my camera and do a portfolio for free that way you can show your grandchildren.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 27, 2007 10:17 PM

malsie, have you heard that SLIMY is a man posing as a woman? Apparently SLIMY is Earl, and all his other variations...personas that caused a lot of strife on the blogs in the past ...witness Miss Slimy's skills in that respect.......tsk tsk Earl, time to go home and get into that home cookin'....

Posted by: waterbombe at October 27, 2007 9:53 PM

Waterbombe it may be noice and diffrint, however you forgot unyewsewal also........as many people say somelifeinmeyet what goes around comes back around...you only get what you give....karma..........k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 27, 2007 8:49 PM

somelifeinmeyet, you've asked, so I will answer... seriously, I think you wouldn't have a clue about "blog etiquette". Any comments you get directed your way that you take to be "nasty" don't arise from a wish by regular bloggers to attack newcomers - far from it. It happens in direct relation to the comments you churn out in frequently somewhat bizarre fashion. Bizarre is okay - I can quite handle bizarre - but unwarranted, unprovoked, senseless, hurtful criticisms that you recently levelled at Wraecca are the sorts of things that are going to attract negative response (as an example). Any sort of intelligent (or even not-so intelligent) discussion of differing opinions is most appropriate here - but deliberate goading and personal attack, in my opinion, is most definitely NOT (capitals used just to get your attention).

Posted by: malsie at October 27, 2007 8:04 PM

SLIMY (SomeLifeInMeYet) , will you stop the bad blog etiquette yourself? Calling people "real nasty paranoid psychos" and "blogging bitches" is not noice, dear, it's not noice at all, nor is it diffrint. A noice gentleman who appreciates talks about recipes and knitting and home cooked meals, such as you offer, is not going to jump at the chance when he hears this coming out of your mouth. Think about what YOU are saying, SLIMY.

Posted by: waterbombe at October 27, 2007 2:41 PM

Oh, and the 'Man in Black' is a reference to Earl of Wyoming, or his other incarnations, known because his false photo's on his profile are usually shown as a gentleman (not him) wearing black. He does exist, and is not a figment of our imaginations.

Posted by: wraecca at October 27, 2007 1:57 PM

I can understand how people like to play on the names of other bloggers, however, it is in extremely bad taste to make a play on someone's name by denigrating people who have a mental illness. Mental illness is not funny. It should not be made subject to ridicule. Those who do so are showing a lack of compassion for people who are suffering from, at times, a debilitating illness that they have no control over. By all means, call each other names, but think of some other name to call someone; don't bring the mentally ill into it, unless you really want people to see your own ignorance and intolerance.

Posted by: wraecca at October 27, 2007 1:54 PM

It just makes me laugh the way that some of the "blogging bitches" (like "only mentallyill") LOL!!portray themselves as being so nicey, nicey on their profile, but then show their real nasty paranoid psycho selves..on the blogs(people are out to get them and reveal secrets about them)..and think that NO ONE will notice that "ne'er the twain will meet" between the blog and the profile!! LOL!!!!

And what's all these ravings about "the man in black is back"..who the hell is that??? another one of your imaginings??????..And why am I mentioned inthe same sentence?????(as "notdeadyet")???????

I think that it is truly BAD blog etiquette to HARASS new R>S>V>P> members like this. What do others think??

from.."Somelifeinmeyet"

Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at October 26, 2007 3:14 AM

Profile Deal Breakers?

...When a same-sex(?) character looks at my profile while misrepresenting my views in the blogs.
-Unfortunately, in Does Hollywood Influence Bad Behaviour? and RSVP's second brand new TV ad for the boys is here! Tell us what you think... and Biggest Turn Offs: Butts, bad breathe & Smoker’s Kisses;
troublemaking is still "notdeadyet" as it also appears with, the Man in Black who is noiring a pinot or, is his pin-not-black enough, yet?

Profile Deal Makers?
-All the supportive people whether on the blogs, phone or in emails. :)

-It certainly does promote further generation of RSVP income through stamps spent on emails.

Which leads to a point. -Are some of these satirical and troublemaking characters receiving "stringer" fees, for reeling people into making RSVP emailing contacts?

Perish the thought!

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 26, 2007 12:31 AM

Your statement about them deliberately shortening their lifespan is flawed.

If you starve yourself you will live longer.

If you avoid the sun you will live longer.

Nobody commits suicide by smoking, there are much faster ways.

By all means smoking is bad, but so was your logic.

Life isn't about being the last to go, Its about making the most of what life has to offer.

In the the past the last thing a man had to worry about was dying of smoking.

However, its the health aspects that are the main issue. I look forward to being smoke free again soon, everything smells better, tastes better and you have more energy and zest.

I watch my 18 year nephew smoke even though we all tried to stop him smoking. I remember my grandfather telling me not to, yet I did. People make their own lives no matter how you preach.

I wish I could convince them otherwise but its essentially their lives and they should date smokers if they smoke. I know many women who smoke, perhaps thats why I'm looking here because I wish to be smoke free.

I am currently in the process of quitting again and after that I won't date a smoker either.
That was my mistake last time I quit.

Posted by: brane at October 23, 2007 12:23 AM

Having read through the latest 20 or so entries, my two bobs worth would be:

Seeing a male who takes responsibility for his kids TURN ON;

Seeing profiles who desire partners 15-25yrs their junior TURN OFF;

Profiles with very little detail TURN OFF;

Spelling - nice but not essential, we all make mistakes;

But sorry number 1 TURN OFF - Smokers! Please guys just give up. Why would I be interested in someone who is deliberately shortening their lifespan, you & your environment smells, and I can think of so many more pleasureable ways to spend $50/wk :)

Posted by: itslate at October 21, 2007 11:01 AM

Indian74,

Some people look at those things but personally I don't. In my dating, they are not important issues.

Also, I have had long term relationships with a Pakistani, a Malaysian Indian and a Sri Lankan and all have been the richest and most memorable of my life. Race and religion never, ever came into any of them.

They , in fact, enriched my life. I now cook a mean curry. I was also culturally enriched by my experiences in many other ways too.

Profile suggestion for you though, add a closer headshot with a smile.

As far a spelling goes, I am a teacher but not a typist, so mine is often wrong on the blogs...

Also, some people can spell and some just can't despite learning all the rules. It is a visual thing not necessarily one denoting intelligence.

There are many different intelligences and word/visual is but one of them.
Even spellcheck doesn't help because of homophones/homonyms....

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at October 20, 2007 8:24 AM

theindian74 . of course those factors your mentioned are ones that most people take into consideration when searching for someone compatible.
As for looks..there is no one universal appealing look.,,it is an indivudual thing.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 20, 2007 12:17 AM

reallygood are you just being your wacky old self and sharing a bit of a laugh ?
Don't know about anyone else but 1 make lots of mistakes on the blogs because I am usually too busy to proof read too closely.
I see you must be the same from your post...
1st sentence 2nd word hav'nt...do you mean haven't?
Can you see the three people, or do you mean you read what they wrote?

Was that grammatical rather than gramatical?

Do you mean sentence not sentance?
and that's not thats

bring back englishteacher I say!

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 20, 2007 12:03 AM

Had a look at craigslist mysticocean quite a funny article and what a huge website.

Cameraman where do you come up with all of this statistical information?.........k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 19, 2007 10:29 PM

probably just not replying to a kiss is rude.That to me says something about a persons personality.
Even if you send a kiss in reply with no message it is better than just ignoring.

reallygood.
that is so true about the spelling thing why criticise in the first place.
Even English School teachers can get it wrong but it is harder for them to admit that they also make mistakes.
It 's hard enough for Chinese/Russian etc's trying to learn the language and our ambiguous words.
Even people born and bred on the English language get it wrong and just being human makes us liable to errors and mistakes.
Today alone I have made over 50 not including my spelling errors
this little snippet will give you some idea of what happens in hospitals on a daily basis with the use of interpreters

Most Common Interpreter Errors
According to Dr. Flores, the most common interpreter errors cited in the study were:

Omission (52%), in which the interpreter left out an important piece of information.
False fluency (16%), in which the interpreter used words or phrases that didn’t exist in a specific language.
Substitution (13%), in which a word or phrase is replaced with another word or phrase of a different meaning.
Editorialization (10%), in which the interpreter’s opinion is added to the interpretation.
Addition (8%), in which a word or phrase is added by the interpreter.
Clinical Consequences
Over 60% of the errors made during the study had “potential clinical consequences.” This means that the errors in interpretation could cause the information given to be very different than originally intended. Specific errors included leaving out questions about drug allergies; omitting or inaccurately describing instructions about dosages and frequency of medications; telling a patient that a hydrocortisone cream must be applied all over the body instead of just on a rash; and instructing a patient not to answer personal questions.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 19, 2007 10:23 PM

really good point, reallygood. If you want to read something really funny on that topic, go to craigslist.org and search for a post in best-of-craigslist called Grammar Porn.

Posted by: mysticocean at October 19, 2007 10:04 PM

I think so far I read all the posts, It's all one's own preception of their Ideal Partners.However, I still wonder, if religion, ethnicity, culture and looks are the top criterion when women browse through profiles.

Posted by: theindian74 at October 19, 2007 4:44 AM

I have'nt read this entire blog, but I have seen three people stress that spelling and grammar are VERY important. All three of these people had (more than one) noticable gramatical/typographical errors in their posts.
Either it is an stylised in-joke that I'm not aware of, or it is a deliciously rich seam of truly ironic behaviour, and one of the funniest things I have seen on the internet.
Whining about spelling and not starting the sentance with a capital - unbelievable. Complaining later that there was text conversion problems - thats hilarious! - no one else gets to apologise - and you are the one who CHOSE to be the perfectionist - you should have known about it. Please use the experience to give the other people a bit of slack. :)

Posted by: reallygood at October 19, 2007 12:52 AM

the biggest turn-off - people who use non-current photos and then you meet them face-to-face. how often has this been an experience? honesty in the preparation of your profile is probably the most impotant thing.

Posted by: denpeter at October 18, 2007 11:26 PM

Couldn’t agree more with Woodwine about the stamps….both men and women….whoever sends the first kiss should follow up with the first email if they get a positive kiss reply. To me it said something about their personality when they refuse to pay for stamps.

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 18, 2007 10:34 PM

Profile dealbreakers - women who actually say in their profile that they don't have stamps. What the? Are you really that poor? Why not become a participant in life instead of just a spectator?

Posted by: woodnwine at October 18, 2007 10:18 PM

I just wanted to say a big thank you to all the wonderful and entertaining bloggers. I now seem to log into RSVP to see the latest updates by you all, they seem to bring a bigger smile to my face than the profiles!...hehe. Keep it up guys!

Posted by: justmefiona at October 13, 2007 5:35 PM

Bravo prettyasyou! I have had contact with guys who very early on have said that their kids would always come first so only every second weekend is available for a date. My response? If you don't put your kids first, then you really don't have the moral fibre that I am looking for. Lucky for me, my ex and I have always put the kids wellbeing before ours and maintained a fairly good parenting arrangement. He has regular contact with them, I ring him about all the little details (lost tooth, guinea pigs dying etc) so that he doesn't spend time in catchup. We both feel comfortable enough to ring each other to change school pick-ups and custody arrangements. I know how lucky I am from what has happened to friends and from what I read here. And the kids are doing really great because of this. At the end of the day, it's the kids that are more important than us adults.......
Now what I think is a real deal breaker. Anyone who puts 'Kenny' in their fav movies list. I just found it tedious. Walked away from TV after 15 minutes to do the dishes. Although my bros watched it and when I walked back in the lounge I caught the line "Why bother getting married, just find someone you really hate and buy them a house". Now that's funny!
Luck to all
Karen

Posted by: soulmamma1 at October 11, 2007 11:27 PM

thelynathdiary, beautifully said to Mick. There's a LOT to be said for having, or being, a boyfriend or girlfriend. It's rather lovely, in fact, and at the risk of sounding superficial, it is what I personally want after coming out of an exclusive 21-year relationship.

Mick, it IS rough that some women and men think that children living at home constitutes a deal breakers. But you know what I think? Your honesty has a way of sifting out exactly the kind of person you do not want or need in your life. For the right person, your children will be far from a deal breaker: they'll be a deal MAKER. Speaking for myself, I find men who are devoted to their children incredibly attractive. Having an ex who became the poster boy for deadbeat dads everywhere immediately after our separation (and still going strong 2 1/2 years later!), I can tell you that a man's relationship with his children speaks of ALL KINDS OF THINGS about that man. Important things. So hang in there.

Posted by: prettyasyou at October 11, 2007 4:08 PM

I'm feeling a bit gleeful today, my inner child has been let loose, she's running riot, and I'm wanting to share my delight and joy with everyone, so, here it is....

**MWAH!!**

A big, happy, friendly kiss to you all!!

Sorry, when I'm happy, I like to spread it around, lol.

Happy Hunting everyone!!

Posted by: wraecca at October 11, 2007 2:38 PM

hi all.
thanks for your comments.
i live in townsville and i have twin 6yo girls.
as for the boyfriend thing
why put on your profile that you are single
if you got a boyfriend/part timer
if they tell me they have a other half up front that cool
hell i even go to the pub and have a game of pool with them.
i like to make friends too.
i be happy with just a girlfriend as long as she the right one and just my girlfriend. no parttimer/ex who keep sniffing around all the time
i am very carefull about who i put in my girls life as i dont want to drag female after female thur their lifes
so i will wait till i meet the right one
and i know my spelling bad but i write what i feel
i got better thing to do then spend 8 hours writing a profile
anyway good luck to you all(i think we all need it)
mick.

Posted by: friendsfirst64 at October 9, 2007 11:13 PM

I have really enjoyed the experience of RSVP...

I love that I can find out someone's interests and have a look at the quality of profile before I invest in someone. It is great to be able to see if someone has learned lessons through adversity, or carries their pain with them... whether they are ambitious or calm and settled with their place in life.

Spelling and bad grammar always change my view of who the person is and that can be wrong I know... Maybe the profile was written quickly and without a great deal of thought.

When I find a profile in which someone is comfortable and happy with themselves and what they have achieved in life it always interests me, especially when a hint of humour also appears. None of these qualities are dependent on looks and age.

Cheers.

Posted by: palatable at October 7, 2007 4:37 PM

Mick you are a sweetie. I think you have the right outlook though if it is any consolation. Do you know what? You will be rewarded for your time love and effort as a father for the rest of your life(even after surviving the teenage years!) because you so obviously care.
You say that you have noticed that women have boyfriends...well then could you not settle for a girlfriend? That way you get your own need for adult company and love met while preseving your childrens sense of security.
I don't understand why people are in such a hurry to complicate their lives with trying to mix lives too soon. It usually only leads to unhappiness tension and the loss of the close secure relationship you have formed with your children.
43 is not old and you will still have plenty of time to find a new love evenif you do have to wait a few more years.
Point of interest, from your profile it is not clear whether you live inT'ville or Cairns and you don't specify the age of your children. Those details can be important as from memory it is about a four hour drive between those two places.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 7, 2007 10:51 AM

Just read the comment from friendsfirst64. Gosh, went to look at your profile and thought, he is cute and articulate. Especially getting a female friend to run commentary. Unfortunately, you're in Cairns and I in Melbourne so consider this your 'kiss' and good luck in your search. The honesty thing is really important to me too. When I joined this site back in May I assumed the profiles reflected the real thing. Unfortunately, my experience has been that the lack of photo shows either that the guy is already 'taken' (if I wanted an unfaithful husband guys I would've kept the one I had not settle for someone else's)or the lack of photo shows a great insecurity. I now don't even go to email without a pic. Harsh maybe but all the hassle that I have had up to now just makes me think, "Hey, theres' heaps of guys with pics (ie nothing to hide) so I just go with that". Also, the profile MUST be accurate (true). It is so disheartening to talk to someone and find that their age, child-status, suburb is incorrect. Add to this the fact that they don't have a landline and do their RSVP at work, well it just screams "married" to me. I have no interest in game playing. I just want to look at pictures, read some truth and maybe we can have a coffee if you find my profile attractive enough. Hell, I reckon that I put across as truthful as possible because I would be found out eventually (although the pic of me in bathers pre-kids was a temptation but that was then and this is now) lol.
Honesty, honesty, honesty......
You WILL be found out unless you are looking for someone with a frontal lobotomy to begin with!
I also hide my profile once I have contact (usually) because I just am not into playing the field. Hell, getting laid ain't that hard but that's not why I'm here.
I agree with mick (friendsfirst64) I'll be single for as long as it takes to find the right person without settling for whatever comes along.
I have been suprised to find that meeting people is easy, Meeting THE one is a hell of a lot harder.
bye for now
Karen

Posted by: soulmamma1 at October 7, 2007 3:08 AM

make me laugh when i think about deal makers/breakers
been a male with two kids who live with me full time is a breaker
i can see the female walking back waving their hands in front of their faces saying "no way" i thought about hiding them in my profile but i heard about this word "honest" but i dont think a lot of people know the meaning of this word or it importance.
as a lot of females i had dealing with on this site have boyfriends or part timers.
any way we need to learn to read between the lines.and read profiles very closely and see what they realy say.
i know that i will be single for a long time as i will not just settle for who ever come along.
i only want to be with someone who i want to be with and they with me.
anyway bye for now.
mick,

Posted by: friendsfirst64 at October 6, 2007 4:53 PM

I am not sure whether you would classify this as a Profile Maker or Breaker.

I have never read in a single profile what the parking sign says outside a girl/woman/ladies' place.

Is it

1. "No Standing Anytime"

2. "No Parking"

3. 30 minute limit

4. 2 hour limit.

I think Local Government should bear a lot of the blame for the paucity of people's relationships. Some of these self important busybodies that get on local councils forget their youth when everyone used to park, if you stood up you hit your head on the roof over the back seat, and there was no time limit.

Posted by: tequieroputa at October 6, 2007 2:12 PM

To ornamentalonly:
Thanks for your positive comments which are very reassuring and appreciated. It seems a good man wants more than I have to offer (smile). Since I have hidden my pic I have had a couple of kisses so I guess it makes the guy read the profile before seeing the pic. I live in hope!!

Posted by: mushie6 at October 5, 2007 4:23 PM

Just browsing and noticed posting by: mushie6 at October 1, 2007 7:13 AM.

Had a quick look at your profile mushie and I like your written presentation. Can't comment on your pic as it is passworded and it would be more appropriate for a male viewpoint on the visual, anyway. Other than that, you come across to me as a nice person who also is adaptable and versatile.
-From a volunteer tutor with computers, using spanners to enjoying light opera, learning German, fit and active but also able to relax, a professional but also had six kids and to top it off, you're willing to relocate!
Honestly, what else would a good man want? Anyway mushie6, I wish you the best of luck. :)

*Wave* to aliane. I missed your "one year anniversary" a little while back and browsing this blog (haven't been in here for awhile) I found comments re your profile -had a peek, sure I saw some beautiful pics of yourself, went back later when I started writing this bit and now they've gone!

Anyway, although I find your heading obscure (and I usually get every blog of yours that I read) I think your idea of listing your good points with explanations to be excellent. Good luck aliane. :)

By the way, may I put forth a possible Guinness Book of Records for the most amount of posts by one blogger on one topic in one day?
dani46 on 30.9.7 posted 21 blogs (maybe I missed some?) and while I noticed slightly longer breaks during some of these postings (meal breaks?) this is allowed when attempting a record.
*Tongue now removed from an awful lot of cheek* ;)

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 5, 2007 3:54 PM

My thanks to woodnwine, funlovertoo and dani46 for your comments and advice which I appreciate very much. I have hidden the pic and will definitely get some more taken.

I am wondering why age is so important to so many. Surely it is how one feels, acts and thinks rather than the chronological age that matters.
When I met my late husband in 1958 he was 9 years older than me (I was 18) and my parents were horrified because I was going out with an 'old man'. Seems funny now.

Perhaps some women are looking for younger men because, generally speaking, men die younger than women, so in that respect looking for a younger man makes sense.

Posted by: mushie6 at October 4, 2007 6:09 AM

funlovertoo - I think it is fair to say that 95% of people on RSVP are looking for somone younger, maybe more. Most women whose profiles I look at only want younger men. Check the latest blogs on dating through the ages.

Posted by: woodnwine at October 3, 2007 10:41 PM

To bloggersgetreal:

Women don’t want to be ripped off either; some of us are financially secure and want a partner who is also financially secure, and no they don’t need to be a millionaire. There are both genders out there that have lost their money or have no money and would love to find someone to support them.

Posted by: anaturallady at October 3, 2007 12:24 PM

mushie6 - I looked at your profile and don't worry, it is better than mine so just remember that finding someone could take a while. Also, make sure you are active and send out kisses too, don't just wait for the men to contact you. And, make sure you are prepared to send the email if someone responds positively to your kiss, after that's only fair in this day and age.

infpseeks - do you actually say on your profile that you are willing to relocate? I often receive kisses from women interstate and never know what their intention is. Are they just saying hello or are they genuinely interested? Personally, I don't believe in long distance love and am only interested in meeting someone who lives close by. For some people, like me, travel is a big issue. I drive a lot for work and the last thing I want to do when I get home is drive for hours to go out on a date. Hope this helps and good luck.

Posted by: woodnwine at October 3, 2007 9:16 AM

mushie6...I'd definitely organise a new photo or two with better lighting.
We know from the blogs that men particularly go for the photo so it's really an absolutely essential part of your profile.

You commented earlier somewhere about men not searching for women their age.
It's the old high school dating formula, when males were less mature than females in their year.

Some males are just off in dreamland with their hopes of finding a chickie babe who is much younger.
mushie6..I'm on the Central Coast so maybe there'll be a get-together in the Newcastle area.

Posted by: funlovertoo at October 3, 2007 8:54 AM

'mashie6', it is not your photo that's the problem. simply RSVP is good for younger people. for u and me it's difficult. let me put it differently. a good fisherman knows which pond to fish in to get the fish he/she wants. from marketing perspective the most beneficial target group for RSVP are younger people. perhaps there is a 'fishpond' for us oldies. ask RSVP and let us know.

meanwhile hide your photo and may be you'll get a better response

Posted by: dani46 at October 2, 2007 6:51 PM

to mashie6. RSVP is a marketing tool and a pretty good one. the problem u have is not the photo. a good fisherman 'fishes in the right pond'. even a cursory examination reveals not many of your age. may be RSVP has got a pond for u. ask them.

meanwhile i suggest that u hide photo anyway. it may give u a better response. try

Posted by: dani46 at October 2, 2007 5:37 PM

I agree with infpseeks re where we live stopping people from other states getting in contact. It is not a deal breaker for me either. I went to Arizona once in 1993 to meet a guy and I am prepared to travel to meet. If I find the right guy I will consider moving. I know a guy who met a woman on the net from Alaska, he went over there, she came over here and then they married and now live in Anchorage. How does anyone expect to find their 'ideal' partner living within 50 km let alone 10km!! Ok they might be lucky but it is highly unlikely. Is it that it is just too much effort, too inconvenient, maybe cost too much, or maybe they are not really serious about wanting a partner.
So guys, think seriously about looking further afield, you might be surprised.
Happy hunting.

Posted by: mushie6 at October 2, 2007 1:42 PM

mushie6 - don't worry, there is nothing wrong with your profile, apparently it is much better than mine. I had a look at your profile and it lists lots of interests, but you have to realise it takes time to find someone and remember than you can send out kisses and emails too so go on, chase after some men in your area and good luck.

Posted by: woodnwine at October 2, 2007 1:08 PM

I love these blogs and really wish we could have a forum at least, I used to be here years ago when we had a chat site and that was fun.

I find reading blogs really helps to get to know a person at lot better than just reading a profile.

I haven't really got much to add that others haven't already said besides to add that I can never understand why where we live stops people from getting in contact. It is not a deal breaker for me if a guy lives in another state. To give an example Ingoodnick would be someone I would be interested in especially after reading his blog but being in another state would stop him contacting me even if he did like what I had to say (just an example you don't have to contact me!) or just being in the western suburbs of Sydney stops people from the Northern Beaches contacting me thinking I'm a 'westie', I live out here due to owning horses and not wanting to spend a small fortune on agistment within the Northern Beaches. Travel isn't an issue if you're really interested in someone.

Oh and yes I'm one of those ones that have 'soulmate' in my profile, I truely believe in finding one and if that word turns someone off, well they aren't for me anyway, as for finding one on here, if you're not out there looking you'll never have a chance of finding anything you might like, take a risk on someone that might not meet all of your ideals and you might be pleasantly surprised.

Oh no photo is a deal breaker (I don't mean password protected), there isn't really an excuse to not have at least one photo, we all have digital cameras and if not I'm sure knows someone that does.

Posted by: infpseeks at October 1, 2007 4:07 PM

To dani46 your comment "
a scrooge is also mean spirited and not worthwhile considering. what gets me is why it is primarily guys that do it."

Actually some of us men think women are primarily scrooges - the golddiggers, the materialistic, the ones who expect to have everything paid for them even on a first "meeting" coffee date. Plenty of female scrooges around, and they are here on the blogs as well.

Posted by: bloggersgetreal at October 1, 2007 12:24 PM

I have been lurking for some time enjoying the ideas and opinions. Occasionally I have ventured in with a blog but I believe some of them went to cyber heaven. No matter, I am wondering whether something in my profile is putting guys off. Is it my pic..ok I know I am no oil painting but at least it is a very recent one taken in September 2007. Should I hide my pic, as someone suggested, but then is that not narrowing the field as some will only look at profiles with pics. Is it my age, where I live or the way my profile is written. I do change/update it every so often.
Perhaps some of you can see something about it that I can change. At my stage in life I need all the help I can get and I don't want to live what is left of my life alone.

Posted by: mushie6 at October 1, 2007 7:13 AM

As posted by dani46...

"guys and gals react differently to intimacy. guys see it as a quickie. gals see it more in terms of long term relationship"

Gee how stereotypical and pathetically incorrect. Some of us guys are actually here with the desire to meet someone with a view to a long term relationship.

Not just a "quickie" as you say.

John

Posted by: johnnyramone at October 1, 2007 1:45 AM

From "Somelifeinmeyet"..Poor "Hillarys1944" dates with the woman who decided they hated him ten minutes after he paid for dinner!!

It certainly is an education for me reading these blogs!

It makes me wish I wasn't divorced! (When I,use "LOL", it means "Laugh Out LOud" as I laugh out loud alot in real life, when I see the irony in things especially.)

Someone wanted to know what I meant by it.

Well none of these stories encourage me to try dating..I am really turned off.

Are there any good stories?????

From "Somelifeinmeyet"

P>s> in real life I have a very expressive way of talking I am told.

I do NOT drone on in a big MONOTONE like some people which puts their friends to sleep!!

Therfore, when I am typing it out as if I am speaking to you in person, I naturally add capital letters, and exclamation marks to try and reflect the emphasis I would put on certain words in real life.....("Woodnwine" described my style as very emotional, which would turn some people off!_)

Well I have described myself as artistic and creative, and cheerful, dancing, kareoke singing,crying at sad movies,and enjoy gardening and cooking and family life etc;

(These sort of people are usually much more warmer and affectionate and emotional than others! I certainly am not a boring accountant!

If someone doesn't like emotion, then hang around with accountants!

Perhaps there should be a warning sign...."This posting may be emotional, with capital letters and exclamation marks and lots of "Lol"..as she is NOT an accountant like all of you")

ALSO, so that the "skimmers" who just skim through profiles and blogs can read it more easily, the emphasis and lots of paragraphs helps the simple mind of the skimmers, to understand what the blog/profile is about, so that they don't just partially read it and then rattle of a critciism.

I fear that if it is all one big shapeless mass, that they won'tread ANY of it1

P.P.S. Did you find this blog too emotional???How about a score say out of ten????

Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at September 30, 2007 11:19 PM

hi guys and gals

DO NOT HIDE PHOTO

its case of 'horses for courses'. if u want a quickie show yourself in the best light possible.

phew, that's been hard work, but very fruitful and enjoyable for me.

RSVP is the best singles site of any that i looked and used. and it shows in the high use of blog

good luck to u all. i bid u goodbye

Posted by: dani46 at September 30, 2007 8:09 PM

'CityPretty', agree with your argument. honesty is the best policy when it comes to intimate relationship. your short description could be much more punchy

Posted by: dani46 at September 30, 2007 8:00 PM

'Daisy45', u can improve on the presentation of your story. again hide photo until you are happy with words of the suitor. by the way we are all suiting each other. also, i would not use lol. it has too many confusing messages and explanations. i think u meant 'ha' or 'ha' 'ha' 'ha', much more descriptive

Posted by: dani46 at September 30, 2007 7:50 PM

...oooh 'WALKBESIDEMEAWILE', u make me smile and made my day. great, great profile. still its better to hide photo until usus out the prospective guy for u

Posted by: dani46 at September 30, 2007 7:34 PM

'heavensent100', u have a point. honesty is paramount. i do find that in matters of intimacy people are honest. blogging allows toexchange ideas and improve ones presentation. anything wrong with that?

i think u should hide photo until u know more about the suitor. your profile pretty good

Posted by: dani46 at September 30, 2007 7:28 PM

'Raphael62', plenty to improve your profile, im sure that u have a good positive story to tell. say it. think thro' your headline and what u want from your guy

Posted by: dani46 at September 30, 2007 7:22 PM

'Brissykittykat', great profile, and in your case u do have plenty to show off. i still think that ur better off by hiding your photo until ur happy with the words of the chaser. for u to get what u want u need to establish first a 'genuine mutual interest'. that is best assessed thro' cerebral connections and not physical attraction.

good luck

Posted by: dani46 at September 30, 2007 7:05 PM

'TrumansCat', its good for the soul to have a passion. astrology is not my passion. neither is astrology science. but i love telling people im aquarious. its an excellent 'icebreaker' with the conversation flowing readily and easily.

science does not have all the answers. itdoes not pretend to have all the answers. for a topic or subject matter to be science it has to be 'fallible' and 'testable'. in practice there is lots science cannot prove/disprove and is agnostic about such issues and problems.

great profile. u should do well

Posted by: dani46 at September 30, 2007 6:50 PM

'Aliane', ur doing good. room for improvement if u want to catch your man

Posted by: dani46 at September 30, 2007 6:25 PM

'allursomeandgetme', agree with u. this blog is wonderful. but u do want to meet the special one just for u? u can improve your profile and the way u communicate. hide photo until u are happy with the words of your suitor. 'a man chases a woman, until she catches him'

Posted by: dani46 at September 30, 2007 6:14 PM

'nicegal84', u are really nice. u should not have any trouble in getting a guy. read my comment to 'FiBi' to improve and good luck

Posted by: dani46 at September 30, 2007 5:55 PM

'Indigo312', u doing swell. u need only hide your profile until u are happy with the words from prospective suitor. see my comments to 'FiBi'

Posted by: dani46 at September 30, 2007 5:33 PM

hi 'FiBi', don't be despondent. u are very intelligent and have a lot going for u. u seem to misunderstand what this blog is about and how it works. but u learn fast so u should not have problems to get the guy u want.

firstly, let's look at the purpose of this blog for everyone. it is to find someone that u can be intimate with. that is obvious. the implications of this is understood only thro' experience. something u do not yet have. here are some clues that u need to nut out to be successful.

guys and gals react differently to intimacy. guys see it as a quickie. gals see it more in terms of long term relationship. so for u to achieve your goal u need to use this blog site to get to know the person first. do not allow guys to judge u for a quickie. this blog site is very flexible and u can do it.

u should not have your photo upfront. that u can allow when you're happy with what the guy is saying in words. that will reduce the number of contacts to those that are prepared to have a chat with u

u can improve on your presentation of what u like and what u don't like. in particular a better headline and description will help.

make sure that your expectations are understated. the principle is to 'under promise and over deliver'.

finally , u are probably wrong in dismissing the 'oldies' for your purpose. old guys can be just as verile as the young ones. they are usually well off and can support u while u have a family. they are usually wise in life matters and can protect u much better than a young 'testosterone crazed' guy. most importantly they know what it means to be intimate both physically and cerebrally

good luck

Posted by: dani46 at September 30, 2007 5:21 PM

'Comtessa', you're good. i agree with most of your comments. i think though that you're a little too harsh, may be even intolerant. after all we all have foibles of one kind or another. and the amount of testosterone may have something to do with some guys comments

Posted by: dani46 at September 30, 2007 3:26 PM

'Aliane', i agree with your comments about some guys trying to impress by asserting property ownership. next they will try to own u. silly guys. obviously not experienced in life matters. i am a little surprised that u get upset about that. just gloss over or block them. move on to guys with a profile u resonate with

Posted by: dani46 at September 30, 2007 3:14 PM

'tmk961' i agree with all you say. me too is reluctant to put a photo upfront. not because i look bad. rather because i prefer to find out if there is some kind of cerebral connection first. photos are information rich and easily mask the possibility of cerebral intimacy

Posted by: dani46 at September 30, 2007 2:54 PM

'plainjanerocks', i agree with your comment and reason. i have also another reason not to have my photo upfront and prefer that females like yourself not to have photos either. intimacy is very precious, if it's good it's very, very good. if its bad its rotten. intimacy can be physical or cerebral. in the long term the cerebral intimacy is much more important. i'd rather have a chat first to assess if there is a possibility of cerebral intimacy

Posted by: dani46 at September 30, 2007 2:42 PM

'flirryfloraflock71' agree with you totally. a scrooge is also mean spirited and not worthwhile considering. what gets me is why it is primarily guys that do it. they are spoiling it for others. very embarassing

Posted by: dani46 at September 30, 2007 2:03 PM

'nogames73' i learned something thank u

Posted by: dani46 at September 30, 2007 1:51 PM

'somelifeinmeyet' is using LOL a lot. LOL is an acronym that has many meanings. it is sometimes confusing and ambiguous. a better less confusing and ambiguous expression to use is 'ha' or 'ha', 'ha' 'ha'

Posted by: dani46 at September 30, 2007 1:30 PM

Afternoon All,

I have been reading some of the comments posted, which have been interesting and thought i would add something.

Since joining RSVP a few months ago, i have noticed one thing every profile seems to be perfect and pre prepared. What happened to being one's self either someone will like you or not.

Being judgemental i have found in my 31 years of living only closes you off to forming possible friendships and if they come through your life only briefly, they seem to show you different dimensions on what life is about.

I am glad i have always left my mind and heart open, life is a journey which should be explored and enjoyed.

Be happy within yourself which will then only be enriched with further success and happiness.

Good luck to everyone in your search no matter what you are looking for.

Posted by: misssmileylea76 at September 27, 2007 2:56 PM

"I have no stamps" makes you sound like a complete cheap-ass.

"I'm not looking for a one-night stand" or "Long Term Relationship Only" is usually written all over your face, so it's redundant to post it. Why don't you just say "I'm not enjoying being single and am looking to pair off as soon as possible. Contracts ready, awaiting signatures"

No info in your likes/dislikes is strange... all we have to go on then is the least drunken picture of yourself you've managed to scrape up.

Posted by: armitageshanks at September 26, 2007 5:59 PM

I've just made a discovery. I now have a new thing to list as a turnoff.

I think I'll generalise this to 'profiles that don't make sense', but in particular:

A profile that says "I'm already in a long term relationship", yet a) is still here, b) lists that "you should be:" both Single, and wanting kids.

Excuse me? Just what does this mean?

Surely if you had met someone, and were now just looking for friends, you wouldn't care about such things...

Posted by: brushkestrel at September 25, 2007 8:09 PM

Best thing in a profile:
Just straight out honesty about the things they love, as if they were chatting to you, rather than a few sentences with all the usual descriptions of what they think everybody is looking for.

Worst thing in a profile:
Comments like "I'm not sure what to write" or "I'm not very good at this", for me it just shows that they have a lack of confidence and may not know themselves very well.

In terms of pictures, I prefer a profile with visible pictures, shows they aren't afraid of who they are, but I also respect people's preference to remain private. I just look upon it more favourably.

I prefer to have pictures that show off who I am, but not my naughty bits. The pictures you supply and what you say, and how you say it in your profile, determines the type of people you are going to attract. If people are aware of this, and this is what they want, fine, but possibly there are more suitable sites.....

I cut back the type of pictures I had to try and avoid people that solely look for pictures. I have no desire to be in the top 100 because of a boob shoot. I'd rather not receive useless kisses than spend my time deleting them. I believe truly 'sexy' people leave a bit of mystery about themselves, and half the fun of new relationships is discovering the intimate details yourself not via the computer screen.

Either way, be honest and clear in your profile about who you are and what you're looking for, and hopefully the people that find you will be the reflection of that.

Good luck all.
-meggz

Posted by: crazeemeggz at September 23, 2007 6:27 PM

From " Somelifeinmeyet"......A positive comment, I saw a 70plus man looking to meet a woman on this site...and said to myself..."see, there's hope for everyone!" And he even was after a woman around his age group for travelling around, which was refreshing! (not trying to geta woman too young for him).

I have also seen very young people's profile( only in their twenties) on R.S.V.P. too also.!.....And I say "good on them"...get out there and find "Miss Right" or "Mister Right". "Don't end up one of those "never married 40 year olds whinging that they never met anyone!"

I give the same advice to these young people that I gave to BOTH my DAUGHTERS (who are young but now both engaged)...."Find someone you like,don't make excuse about""how old you are", "you want to finish your degree first", "you want to be richer" "Its not the right time..you'd prefer to meet them in ten years time" etc;......I say "Just be glad that you met the right person now, grab onto them, count yourself lucky and don't let them get away"...."as time and fertility are slipping away"!!!.....(And FERTILITY rates, especially among men, are REALLY dropping in the modern world.!! )

(I don't want to hear my daughters whinging that they are childless old maids!)

It would have been good to have the internet around when I was getting married, as it would have given me access to people like myself who are not drinkers and smokers and rooters, and so do not hang around bars etc; (And I probably would have met a better person to marry!!)

Still its too late to beamoan that now,( and have my two beautiful daughters from that marriage to be grateful for).....but now I have this internet thing,perhaps it will be like a matchmaker (the jews call them "yentas")..and I. will find a more similar person to myself, rather than an opposite.

Well, the man of my dreams" isn't going to fall through the ceiling", no matter how hard I pray...(unless of ourse there is some kind of airline disaster!! LOL!!).....but neither is he going to be in some beer swilling bar or sports game, or motorbike race or football match.

I'd be more likely to find him in a library I suppose, as I am looking for a man with a brain,( but he needs to nerdy and sexy AND.masculine..all at the same time ) .....(probably not much hope of that, but I can dream ON!! LOL!!)..and not painfully thin and underdeveloped. either ....(like many nerds are..) ....I like a man that has developed to a good size...with manly shoulder and head proprtions, and abody to match.=====There are not many like this.. (they are probably all taken)...so I had better settle for just friends with other men, and enjoy platonic male company instead.

"QUALITY NOT QUANTITY" is my motto, so I'd rather be alone, than with the wrong man.

Alot of people who are now divorced have told me over the years ," that if they knew how hard it was to find someone else even as good as their ex husband/wife....that they would have stayed married and put more effort into the marriage with counselling etc:"

Sadly this is a lesson learnt too late, because people see the single life as alot of fun, and they must be missing out on something.!!

Those of you that are only seperated, I would advice you to consider going back and dating your spouse, and doing counselling and falling in love all over again !!

Work with the partner you have, at least you are familiar with their baggage! LOL!!.... A new partner won't solve your problem, because you will still be in the new realationship...and you were HALF OF THE PROBLEM to begin with in the other relationship!!!

(OF course in the small percentage of relationships where people were not just plain lazy and grew apart, but actually had violence etc; in the relationship..I am NOT reccomending they get back together, as it is probably too late. After the first most minor incident, the police shouldhave been called , the abuser dobbed in to his/her parents (no covering up) and counselling started if anything was to be saved, but now it has escalated, it is too late.

EARLY INTERVENTION is what was needed.

Still, most realtionships end because people grow apart...laziness and what I call "CAREER,CAREER,CAREER"....where people give all their best smiles to the people at work...and save their "Nasty face" for the loved ones at home!!!!

Well that's not a formula for marital success, or a happy home for the children!

Save you "Happy Face" for your loved ones instead.!!

From "Somelifeinmeyet"

Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at September 20, 2007 10:17 PM

To all, every now and again i like to have a read of these blogs...some of them keep me laughing all day long! Its great that you're all sharing opinions whether they be good or bad. All I will say is KEEP SMILING and good luck to each and everyone of you on this site!!!! Im having a great day today! :) N :@)

Posted by: chochoney76 at September 19, 2007 5:00 PM

Well I'm quite stunned by all this talk about saucy profile photos.
I have not seen the meditating shot that all the guys are on about - but if they've all seen it then it must be there.
I wouldn't pretend to know what is in the head of the woman who posted it.
It does seem tacky to me. So do some of the low-cut dress shots, but maybe that's a legacy of my Catholic girlhood and my mother's attitude to revealing clothes.
I don't have a let it all hang out philosophy myself but maybe others are more liberated. Or maybe they know it presses at least some men's hot buttons.

ipod - absolutey love your egg chair, as a fan of mid 20thC modern myself.
A bit worried though re the story of your ex flatmate and the underwear. It might be a little offputting for some women? Just a thought.

Posted by: funlovertoo at September 19, 2007 4:15 PM

Hey there ipod, I just checked out your profile. Very original, especially the story about your ex-flatmate's underwear washing regime. Maybe a bit confrontational for some, but I like how you phrased it. That's a smiley face from me :)

BrushKestrel, not a problem my friend, just make sure you're wearing a hard-hat so that hammer doesn't bang too hard on your noggin, lol. Sorry guys, I'm in a bit of a weird mood at the moment....

Happy Hunting everyone!!

Posted by: wraecca at September 17, 2007 9:15 PM

ornamentalonly, - While I appreciate your comments about my profile and your appreciation of my honesty etc... I would only change one thing on my profile. i.e. about the teepee, which after you pointed it out.....(my profile comment, not the doona), I have seen that it is old hat indeed and so I have deleted it.
Thanks for your input.

Posted by: ipod at September 17, 2007 4:22 PM

imissyou at September 16, 2007 7:25 PM - I agree with every point you made!
(No second exclamation point out of respect for you.)

I note that both of us also have passworded pics, so we are definitely not flaunting anything publicly (and I also presume you wouldn't do so in your passworded pic, the same as myself) but are not passing judgement on anyone who does. I definitely, like you, imissyou, believe in “Each to their own and live and let live!�

But I do value the opinion of nogames73 made at September 16, 2007 10:58 AM and how well she wrote it. (Good profile too, nogames73.)

However, I find it interesting the sex of the bloggers who firstly brought up the point of inappropriate pictures and then had to dwell upon the point/s by REPEATING their detailed descriptions of these supposedly upsetting (to them) pics ...while denigrating women.

Valid and relevant points are good and I'm always interested in the differences between the sexes. But ipod, while I do take your point that it is upsetting to some men to be confronted by the obvious and welcome this honesty in stating your feelings; I personally (and I’m not speaking for other women, just for myself,) find a profile written like yours, a tad confronting. These are my feelings, okay? Dwelling upon your physical contact with another man’s panties and subsequent arousal and another profile comment, “my doona looks more like an Indian tepee� -that particular one is so old hat to me.

As a maturer lady (yes Wyoming, a dinky di lady and not one of your ladies of the night that you seem to be hung up on,) I am fully aware of a male’s common state *yawn* but want to know about a man when they are not enslaved by their “physical impediments� *read gentle ribbing here*. Ipod, I would find it more interesting if you wrote in the humorous vein that was exhibited your profile’s last sentence: ‘I don't like to look in my RSVP outbox. It's way too painful.’ Anyway, have fun ipod and I wish you the best in your search.

Generally speaking, I think maybe there should be less dwelling upon inappropriate pics (just bypass the profile completely) and more reading the content of one that is interesting/compatible.

I find the same as what nogames 73 said: “What I find most frustrating is people who don't actually read your profile.�

Posted by: ornamentalonly at September 17, 2007 12:34 PM

Bloggersgetreal - Yeah sorry - I realised that I didn't really explain myself very well there!!! What I meant was that members can see when you have last visited the site. When I decided to go no further with this particular person they took it that I had had enough of RSVP and wouldn't be back when in fact I was just ending it with him. As a result I got an email from him asking for an explanation which I didn't take very kindly to because of the way he worded his email. And then I was accused of playing games which is not what I am about. I just didn't want to go any further with him and I apologised for wasting his time.

Hope that explains it for you :)

Posted by: nogames73 at September 16, 2007 8:44 PM

Thanks Wraecca, I'm now standing proud :-)

(On the other hand, 'standing proud' is the best way to attract the attention of someone wielding a hammer. Particularly if you happen to look like a nail at the time.)

Anyway, to keep this even vaguely on-topic (yeah right, like a blog has ever stayed on topic)...

Profile deal-breakers: Writing your profile in ALL CAPS. Given that the standard internet use of block capitals is emphasis (much like raising your voice a bit to add emphasis to specific words in a conversation), an entire sentence in all caps is shouting. I previously would depart rapidly from these profiles because I didn't want to listen to the shouting. I've now come to realise there's actually a more serious problem here: it also tells me you either aren't aware of the norms of internet communication, or don't accept them.

As far as photos go, I haven't seen any of the skirt variety mentioned here (thankfully), but there does seem to be a bit of a competition to see how much cleavage can be displayed within the confines of a standard profile pic. Even to the extent of cropping just above the eyes in a few cases! The scariest part is how many of these women then write in the profile that their date "oggling various bodyparts" is a turnoff. Well, here's a random thought - how about attracting a different type of person by changing your profile pic!

Posted by: brushkestrel at September 16, 2007 8:18 PM

If women want to have a pic showing their knickers, legs, a bit of boob then it's entirely up to them. None of us have to look if we don't want to and we certainly don't need to pass judgement on them either!
I don't fancy men in their pic showing a bare chest, but others may. And whilst some men may not fancy women's knickered, legged, 'boobied' photos - other men may. Each to their own and live and let live!

Posted by: imissyou at September 16, 2007 7:25 PM

@nogames73, Please explain what you mean by
"... and then they see your last recent action on the site ..."? Other people cannot see what your actions are on this site I dont think.

Posted by: bloggersgetreal at September 16, 2007 7:04 PM

nogames73, You wrote:

"What is it that they are trying to get across to those would be people that may have an interest in them one way or the other?"

Perhaps the question should be "What is it that they are hiding to those would be people that may have an interest in them one way or the other?"

If women have RSVP pix where they wear skimpy clothes, nipples virtually showing and/or have photo's so that their panties are visible up their skirt etc... then I would philosophise that they are hiding more than they are showing....if you get my drift. If they dress that way then, as someone said recently they must know that they will attract a certain type of guy and can they be taken seriously as people who want a friendship first and a soul mate as is the sort of partnering that RSVP tries to promote.

Posted by: ipod at September 16, 2007 4:41 PM

Please.

No more derogatory language.

No use of the words "Hooker,"
"tarts," or its variant "RSVP Tarts," etc.

The polite way of speaking is

1. "working girls"
2 "girls"
3. "Ladies"

Posted by: earlofwyoming at September 16, 2007 12:10 PM

Regarding what ipod and thefotografer stated, I have never seen these profiles that you are talking about, but then again, I'm not looking for a woman. However, I can understand your reasoning. I personally would not post a photo of myself in a way that would suggest that I am advertising what is on offer. My photographs range from my graduation, and seeing Phantom in Melbourne (both with me dressed nicely, with my hair done and wearing makeup), to me in my broomball gear, and just mucking around with the camera (not at all "pretty" shots). I, along with many other women (and men) here value honesty, and these photos show us how we honestly look. No touch ups. No 'glamour' shots. Just your average, normal, everyday people who vary in weight, height, body shape, and aesthetic appeal.

For me, the big Deal Breaker in a profile is dishonesty. I don't necessarily mean lying about your age/weight/etc, but about not being honest regarding who you are. I feel sorry for those people who feel the need to make themselves into someone they're not, just in the hope of gaining the attention of someone they hope to meet. You are not being honest with them, and more importantly, you aren't being honest with yourself. I love seeing profiles where people are proud of their quirks and flaws, and you can see the vibrancy and love of life radiating from their written words. Be proud of who you are, and what you are interested in. Don't feel ashamed because you are a D&D (Dungeons and Dragons) fan, or if you collect stamps. These hobbies help to define who you are, and there are other people out there who have similar interests to yours, but you'll never meet them if you are dishonest with your profile.

Therefore, for me, a Deal Maker with a profile is someone who is honest about what they love, even if it isn't considered very popular. For example, BrushKestrel loves his trains. He says so in his profile. Good on him!!! I'm now corresponding with him (as friends), because even though I'm not big on trains, my dad is, and I know a little (minuscule, really) about steam trains. He is a lovely guy, very friendly, and willing to share his knowledge and passion with others. Saying that, he does have other interest, which I also share, but he was honest in his profile. So, BrushKestrel, stand proud mate!!!

Well, I think I've rambled for long enough, but please, don't feel the need to hide who you are. While you continue the charade, you will never feel free, never feel completely happy, and you will always feel as though you should not be yourself.

Happy Hunting everyone!!

Posted by: wraecca at September 16, 2007 11:12 AM

Ipod, as a female I completely agree with you. I find it disturbing that women are able to post photos of themselves that are so revealing and then comment on the type of male that they are attracting. Particularly when their profile says one thing about them and then the photo says another. What is it that they are trying to get across to those would be people that may have an interest in them one way or the other. RSVP certainly does have a double standard when it comes to the type of photos and content women are allowed to have as opposed to what men are allowed. I think if the girls want to post photos of themselves like that then perhaps they are on the wrong site!!! What I find most frustrating is people who don't actually read your profile. I myself do not want children, and then I get kisses from people who do want children. Do they think they are going to change my mind? My profile also states that I'm not the type of person to be shoved around and then some guys give me a hard time for ending our conversations because I've decided that I don't want to go any further. They accuse of me of playing games! Which I find most amusing really..... I mean hello!!! Read my handle!!!!

Posted by: nogames73 at September 16, 2007 10:58 AM

The fotographer,

the girls that show to much skin, or nice panties, are simply Tarts, and should be veiwed as such. Its the only way they can get a man because they don't have the personality. I think its a great perve, but I don't respect any girl that 'flaunts it'. These a proberbly the same people that winge when a guy appears with no shirt on, because it takes the only power they have away from them.

Posted by: eureka1854 at September 16, 2007 8:54 AM

I want to make it clear that I am not condoning the exploitation of womens bodies or any other concept or idea to that end, my post is merely and only in the context of thefotographers question about why women can have their underwear showing and provocative poses and dress and men cannot. Thats all.

If you want to take this as anything else and make an argument about it, as I'm sure is possible to occur, then talk to someone else. I will not get involved in a debate where the premise of the debate is that I said something wrong. If you are a woman and still want to debate it, you are showing me to be correct in my theory that they are the more aggressive of the sexes.

Posted by: ipod at September 16, 2007 6:30 AM

thefotografer, I have also seen that woman meditating with the camera looking all the way up her skirt. Yes, I could figure out what her caper was. Regarding your question, it is a double standard of the highest order and every woman is guilty of knowing about it but not revealing it for fear they will lose the only power that men have bestowed upon them in this overtly (as opposed to covertly) male dominated world, and that is that when women started out by saying in the 60's that their bodies should not be exploited and they should not be treated as "meat", some men, esp those in politics were quick to follow the line in order to appease half the population and appear good upstanding Christians and conservative etc... and so most of the male population fell into place in the interests of political correctness but there was something about women that they did not know at the time which was, that it was women after all that were the more aggressive and manipulative of the 2 sexes and not men and this can now be seen when women demand that men should not view them as sex objects but that if the need arises (for getting the attention of men for example) then all that is neutralised and they then say it is their bodies and they should be free do as they please...to the point of aggressively maintaining their point as if they were discussing the right of a women to choose to have an abortion.

This is hypocritical and manipulative and does women no good for themselves insofar as getting better social conditions for themselves because people need to get real sooner or later otherwise nothing concrete can ever happen. When the truth or clarity of the situation is not overtly said in public, it remains a point of confusion and angst FOR men and also an instrument of control OF men.

QED.

Posted by: ipod at September 16, 2007 6:21 AM

Deal breakers / hmmmm, all of the above and here is one for the editors/convenors/moderators.

Why is it then women are allowed to present photos of themselves that are provocative?
like for instance.
A number of photos of a woman meditating ,legs crossed ,front on where you can see all the way up her blue panties.
A number of other s,breasts hanging out,nipples not clearly seen.(is that the only saving grace)
laying about in two pieces,legs up, dresses lifted.
How come ? what are they trying to sell? ,sure it is a deal breaker for me because I think well, if I anyone can see that much on
RSVP then what are these women really like ?
(I use that term as loosely)

Posted by: thefotografer at September 15, 2007 9:06 PM

Can someone explain to me why people get offendeded when you decide that they're not the person for you and then they see your last recent action on the site and you get abused by them? I find this not only off putting but also offensive!!!

Posted by: nogames73 at September 15, 2007 7:59 PM

Hey Mr ED... one of my earlier posts I used my name Suzanne and you have linked it to someone who isn't me!! Hmm I really don't think that is a good idea.. Can you please change it??

Posted by: seraphsuzie at September 15, 2007 5:49 PM

Greetinjgs Viewers,

Interesting subject.

My profile doesnt attract to much attention. I find it hard to write about myself.

The "breakers":

*unrealistic expectations
* the "im better than you, my lifes so great" diatribe. Folks if you life was so great, what are you doing on here then?
* the "ex-files". Bashing the ex is the biggest turn off for a bloke.
*women stating thier "preferances" in a biaist and degogertory way that if a male did the same the "offending items/comments" would be removed by the moderator

The comment about "log fires and long walks along the beach" is so right on the mark. It would be like walking down Bourke Street Mall on a Saturday morning with the majority of RSVP members being at the beach and firewood would be at premium prices due to the acute shortage.

I had comments removed by the moderator from my profile last year due to the types of women I was attracting.But in saying that, I have veiwed much worse and no action was taken by the moderator. Once again, it was on several females profiles.

Sorry to appear "bitter", but im not, just stating what I have noticed.

If we were all happy in our lives we wouldnt need to be here. We are all looking for something new, and challenging and to enhance our lives in one way or another.

I know In no Hugh Grant and although my writing skills is concidered to be my major asset by all of my employers I still find it difficult to write a profile like a used car ad to attract prospective "buyers". any advice would be greatly appreciated.

There are nice people out there...sometimes we just dont see it until that are gone.

regards to all

Posted by: stormtrooper at September 15, 2007 11:17 AM

Hi all.

Preferring to immerse personally on the positive side of things, it's always good to see the best in people's profiles - having said that, there are some unusual additions to people's profiles that I'd find perhaps not aligned to my personal choice of personality.

Examples of those would include:
1. People whose conditions for approaching them sound more like a Job Application than a date. I don't know about others, but I like to have a distinct line drawn between work and play, and the last thing I like to feel like I am being asked to do is 'Apply' for a position. Too much hassle, way too impersonal, too little time.

2. The profiles which say something along the lines of, "The girl above me is a stalker/bunny boiler etc, and the girl below me keyed her boyfriends Mazda RX-8." I've got as good a sense of humour as the next person, but I don't see the need to deride others in a failed attempt to try to make an eye catching point, which looks really ordinary to be honest.

3. Those people who might state something like, "Can't find happiness or love, and don't expect to on this site." ... I mean, C'MON!!
Shake it loose, throw it out there and SMILE ... I cannot tell you how many such profiles exist where the pic is 'potentially' nice, only to be discounted in a giant hurry when that negative vibe comes across.

Sure, there are people out there who like negative or seemingly directionless people to take under their wing, but gee, I would have thought that at least outwardly portraying happiness and positivity would be a good way to start.

But perhaps I am naieve with my thoughts. It takes all kinds I suppose, but yes, the above are just some of my thoughts on what could potentially 'Break the Deal' as it were.

Deal Makers: Well now, this is easy! Positivity, vibrant personality, self confidence even if you might have suffered some set backs, happy smile, a lists of (some) common interests, some inner thoughts that might reveal the real person, and a generally all over good and happy outlook to life and to others.

I'm not saying everyone has to be the same - by no means is that possible or even desireable, but the above 'Deal Makers' are a good start, for me personally, in looking at what is attractive in a potential date.

Cheers 'n smiles! :-)

Posted by: mystril at September 15, 2007 10:07 AM

serendipitysa, I'm like you in the way that I don't bother at all with people who write that they want to walk along the beach and cuddle up infront of a dvd or fire (or dvd on fire).
It shows that they woman has the imagination that of a wet blanket. And these sometimes are the same women who are like the "freeloaders" that frillyfloralfrock71 described.

Posted by: ipod at September 15, 2007 7:51 AM

seraphsuzie, -- You didnt offend me, it's fine. About you and me and the chinwag, well, to use and american term "it's all good".

Best regards.

Posted by: ipod at September 15, 2007 7:45 AM

Hmmmm...a bit sad to see a blogger's negative posts towards women on this topic. Makes me wonder what was in the previous profile that got it banned.

*Sigh* A sense of humour (exhibited elsewhere) does not override decency towards others.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at September 15, 2007 12:52 AM

Ipod.. am sorry if I have offended you. However I am unable to find the posts where you state you do not wish for a romance. hmm oh well, again sorry. I think I need to get me to an optometrist then and have my eyes checked. hehe ;-)

ps forgive the spelling..its late..

Posted by: seraphsuzie at September 15, 2007 12:16 AM

To me the biggest Deal Breaker in any profile (guy or girl) comes along the lines of.. "unfortunately I do not have any stamps". While i recognise sending emails can get expensive, basically that statement says, yes I'm happy to use this service, however, I expect someone else to foot the bill. Being a freeloader really isnt an endearing quality.

Posted by: frillyfloralfrock71 at September 14, 2007 11:16 PM

Like others here, I am put off by profiles that are void of any information, bad spelling (especially those who choose to use sms abbreviations) and profiles typed in capital letters. I also get annoyed when I get a kiss and read the profile only to discover they clearly haven't read mine and taken note of my preferred partner profile. I don't expect it to match 100%, not even 50%, but when it is the complete opposite to what I am looking for, it does my head in. I have my picture hidden for a good reason for which I will not go into, and I have found that most of the kisses I get are asking for my password. Once supplied I never hear from them again. I have met a few guys from RSVP and sadly as already mentioned, most are nothing like their profile, either in looks or how they have described their interests etc. I also do not respond to generic profiles, for instance 'I like moonlight walks on the beach, cuddling in front of the open fire and nights in front of the tv.' Like many here so far, I am finding this blog more interesting than clicking on profile after profile and having them all blend into one giant profile after about 10 minutes. It's like there is a generic profile template out there, and most have copied it.

Posted by: serendipitysa at September 14, 2007 10:07 PM

g00glesBACK...

OOOPS!! ... I retract my comment that you post under an anonymous name. When I previously searched I must have spelt it wrong.. you know, with o's instead of 0's.. silly of me. So- sorry! I've no problems apologising when I should... just call me reasonable (as opposed to a drug befuddled hippie..)

While here, I notice you add "your last joke & your last post on RSVP blogs"....

.... I see bad & good in that
.... bad joke & good news?

I predict, though, that you'll be back... throwing a tanty & a bit'v door slamming won't make you feel better for long- ask any mother.

Yours apologetically, reasonably, wryly, undauntedly, humourously, irrepressibly & facetiously, etc.,
decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at September 14, 2007 12:32 PM

Take the time to make sure your profile presents you the way you would like to be viewed. It IS important so take a few minutes now and save yourself many hours further down the track. Most importantly, don't lie, just be yourself or you won't attract the person who is right for the real you.
Goodbye for now...

Posted by: woodnwine at September 14, 2007 11:28 AM

g00glesBACK at September 12...

...you got your profile BANNED?

...because there were COMPLAINTS?

I'm laughing.... quite a lot actually- thanks! Quite frankly, it doesn't surprise me in the slightest.

But NO, nothing whatsoever to do with me!! Do you think it could have had something to do with (absurd though this may be to you).......
.... your profile?

Do you think RSVP would ban a profile because a couple'v people 'didn't like it'? I doubt it. I think RSVP 'didn't like it' either..... or it would still be up.....
.... wouldn't it?

I've never seen your profile- & never complained to RSVP about anybody's. If I've got something to say, I say it on the blogs... that's what they're here for. I use my RSVP name- you don't. I'm not big on you anonymous bloggers. It seems somehow....
cowardly....

Re the stamp issue you remarked on....
I wasn't "too tight" to use a stamp. I'd sent a 'thumbs up' kiss to a woman who had a great profile. She lives in another state & I don't have 'pen-pal' in my search details- the reply 'interested & waiting for your email' was totally unexpected. I may well send her an email- but, as I said, it would simply be to say 'hi & bye'..

I was merely throwing it open to the blog.....
looking for intelligent & caring feedback.......

Respectfully yours,
the eternally optimistic
decoratress

ps: ha ha... seeing as you asked so nicely g00glesBACK- I was smoking a Winfield- but am trying to give up. In view of your rage & paranoia... have you been taking steroids?

Posted by: decoratress at September 14, 2007 10:28 AM

eureka1854 at September 12...

Awww- & I thought I was agreeing with you!?!?

But re your support for g00glesback's joke about bashed women- you say "I have worked with wifebashers, & I despise them, but can see the funny side of the joke"

My question is-
have you ever worked with the bashed wives?

It may be just a joke, but this is a site populated by people from failed relationships. There'll be many victims of violence reading, who'll be upset to see their nightmare history made light of. I see it as telling, say, 'mongol' or 'spazzo' jokes at an event for the handicapped...

Yes, I can certainly be politically incorrect- but rarely about genuine victims of circumstance. And I'm inclined to choose when & where...

... which is when & where nobody who's likely to be traumatised is present.

Kind regards
decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at September 14, 2007 9:20 AM

Deal Makers:
You read books. (MX - For Sydneysiders does not count.)
Same Faith.
You have a hobby.

Deal Breakers:
You have missing sections on your profile. (Sure, you may be having problems with your profile, like I did. But I'll be back to take another look down the track.)
You like RnB. (This is a personal one, I loathe the genre, if you love it, I can see problems in the future.)
Continual poor spelling and grammar. (This has been mentioned by others.)
Different Faiths. (ie. Christianity v. New Age)

Deal Debaters: (So I added one.)
Your favoured book genre is True Crime or Detective Stories.(Why is it that so many women are into these genres? Is there something I am unaware of? Do I need to have a buddy go with me on a first date?)
Yeah, so the last one is more for laughs than anything else. But it does contain a kernal of truth.

I don't really have an issue with glam photos, as long as it isn't the only one. We all know that they are more than reality, but we all have our flaws.
Ladies, I apologise on behalf of all those men who appear in photos on bikes, I'm sure that there are a few who do it simply because they don't have any more recent photos. (How many guys do you know who are going to front up to a mate and say "Can you take a picture of me so I can put it up on a dating site.")

aerobella (Sep 12) Fortunately RSVP gives us a wonderful way to respond to kisses when you feel that profiles don't match. Be happy that you are fortunate enough to be generating interest. *sigh*

On yet another aside, how are people putting in formatting in blog posts. HTML tags seem to be removed. RSVP, can you fix this?

Posted by: ThoughtProvoking at September 13, 2007 11:49 PM

No Googlesback I am not kidding and stand by what I said. You may not be guilty of violence yourself but by perpetuating those jokes(thinly veiled contempt and hatred for women) you are condoning the behaviour as acceptable.
I love all sorts of jokes and humour and am not against jokes about women, but that one is sickening firstly because of what it is actually saying and secondly because there are women living out the reality of those words every day...that is not a funny thing to me.

Posted by: whatididforlove at September 13, 2007 11:31 PM

SeraphSuzie, I made it clear on 2 seperate occassions/posts that I did not want to get involved in a relationship with you of the romantic kind. I just thought it would be nice to have a chat and a cuppa. PLease read my previous posts if you wish to see this.
So I am pleased that your kids are your world but the subject of your children is irrelevant in the case of us just having a chinwag, so when you say "My ex partner left me because of my children...", this wouldnt happen between us so there would be no repeat of that horrible event, because I would not envisage even meeting your children. It would be a 1 on 1 friendly chat. Thats all.
But whatever you want to do - Its no problem. Just thought it might be fun thing to do for us both.

Posted by: ipod at September 13, 2007 9:51 PM

Ladies where shall I start.
After five ladies lost interest in me ten minutes after I paid for dinner. We had meet previously for coffee.
And all the questions were about money, what did you do for a living, how long have you been living at your present address [do you own it]. You say you are retired, how will you manage [do you have any super], ladies who are retired say they want a man who is working [to pay the bills?]
Any questions about my children are about, school/Uni, living at home, are they working. [Are they costing me anything].
A lady I went to dinner with said she would need to go out 4 or 5 times to make up her mind [4 or 5 free dinners].
Two ladies offered to pay their way, and one paid for my coffee & cake.

Very few asked me what I wanted out of life.

Posted by: hillarys1944 at September 13, 2007 3:08 PM

whatididiforlove ... youre kidding arent you? im not guilty therefore there will be no apology from me... lighten up...

Posted by: g00glesBACK at September 12, 2007 11:37 PM

Where do you start? There are SO MANY!!! Half naked photo's...... I never respond favourably. Poor spelling..... If you can't be bothered taking the time to market yourself, then what does that say about how you deal with the rest of your life. To me it says that you can't be bothered putting in any effort to anything you do???? If you are serious about a relationship, everything that is worth having is worth putting effort into.
I'm a girl that is attracted to grey matter. I think my profile reflects a desire for a worldly educated type of person. But I am continually contacted by people with very little in common with me. I have run out of ideas with how to respond.

Posted by: aerobella at September 12, 2007 9:10 PM

ohh dear.. what has rsvp attracted...
miss decoratress, believe it.. i did...
im not really shocked you cant take a joke, considering your the same woman too tight to reply to someone cause you might 'waste' a stamp.
What are you smoking woman?
Some jokes may be over the top, but im sure you wouldve told a joke that may have or could offend someone... get over, as it wasnt personally directed at anyone... saying that joke, does not mean i condemn it.
were you one of the people that made complaints against my previous profile that got it banned? hmm...
Anyway heres my last joke for my last post here on RSVP.

What did the hippie say after the drugs wore off? 'Man, this g00glesBACK sucks!'

Thanks to all that kept me entertained for the past few weeks... cheers

Posted by: at September 12, 2007 6:17 PM

I pod:
How rude of your date to bring her kids, I too have had that happen to me. Lovelly kids, but I wasn't going to become 'daddy' on the first date.

Decoratress:
I think we should agree to disagree on this topic, everyone has their own oppinion.

Googlesback:
I have worked with wifebashers, and I despise them, however, I see the funnyside to the joke. And it is just a joke, come on people Lighten Up a little.

Posted by: eureka1854 at September 12, 2007 9:51 AM

ipod..... you lost me at the kids thing. My kids are my world, and whilst I would never condone any bad behaviour from them, we have that banter going on between us and unfortunately that is just the way it is. My ex partner left me because of my children, he couldn't deal with teenagers, they can be difficult at times and need extra love and support, and I am there for them. So whilst I thank you for your interest I think perhaps its best not to go any further. :-)

Posted by: SeraphSuzie at September 12, 2007 6:24 AM

Hey SeraphSuzie , you're supposed to send me an email....not a kiss. I gotta tell ya, I also would really like to have a chat over a coffee or a drink with you one day as I said in my first post here, if you recall (before the moderator deleted it) cos you sound like a very bubbly and interesting woman. I think we'd have a good time, but I also know that I am not really a "kids person" in general and this was reinforced in my mind when I went out with a woman a few years ago who had 2 kids about the same age as yours and it was a f**kin nightmare. I spent so much time trying to either get to know them and be in their good books (me, the new guy in the scene), or waiting for them to finish talking to their mum when they interupted our conversation and suddenly got first priority or just having to put up with listening to the general banter between each other that had nothing to do with me and that I could not give a damn about. So much time and effort but it was worth it because the woman was good to me but when she and I drifted apart as 2 people, there was no reason to stay, infact as the kids thing continued, there was more reason to leave....and I did.

So the point here is that I was blinded by your red hair and personable demeanor and now I have said what I would like from you and so the ball's in your court.

check ya...

Posted by: ipod at September 11, 2007 3:58 PM

Notice how the blogs are reading the other way now, thanks ED.

I think my comments have been taken out of context.
I am talking about women I have only just met at a bar, not women I am on a date with.

Posted by: eureka1854 at September 11, 2007 9:47 AM

eureka1854 at September 9...

"bring me some smoko & I'll buy you a drink then..." (you are kidding, right...?)

"I'll get you what I'm drinking (water hehehe- but you don't know that...)" (no- I guess you're NOT kidding...)

Wow, you're some kind'v a joker aren't you! Bet it impresses your male drinking buddies ("ho ho, you sure sorted them out, mate")... but did any woman in earshot look impressed- that's the question.....

Presuming you're on rsvp to meet a woman- (because your drinking buddies aren't 'who you're seeking') ...did it occur to you that you may be trying to impress the wrong people?
Did it cause a stampede'v eager women (from all socio-economic classes, naturally) jostling to buy YOU (AND maybe your sniggering buddies) a drink?

"There is a lot of women out there that earn a heck of a lot more then me.. etc"
I'm sure there are.
But I'm curious to know if these are the same women who hit on you for drinks? I wouldn't have thought so, but please correct me if I'm wrong.

If the equal pay debate "won't work with you" I suggest you look at the stats. I assure you, despite progress, women earn less than men in equal jobs.
It doesn't, though, mean the higher earner must buy the drinks.... that's entirely up to the individuals. You keep not paying if it works for you...

But I am glad you say "OK, I'M A TIGHT A$$"
-it means I can end this post on the perfect note....
decoratress 'loves what you have said' lol...

love4rich&poor
decoratress

>>>>>>>>>>>

g00glesBACK at September 9...

I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY LET YOU POST THAT JOKE

I can be politically incorrect, but I consider that to be in appalling taste- & I anticipate many will find it distressing.
Violence is no joke for the victims.

love&sensitivity
decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at September 11, 2007 12:22 AM

googlesback, Sept9.
There is nothing what so ever humourous, funny, amusing or lighthearted about women who have been bashed and have sought refuge in a shelter.
That sort of pathetic non joke is the sort of thing which encourages people not to take the plight of those women seriously.

I can see for your previous sentences that you don't have much respect for women, but I really think you should apologise and then think about what those words actually mean.

Posted by: whatididiforlove at September 10, 2007 9:38 PM

Hey come on guys. I'm not too picky and I don't need a job application.

Just a "real" person wanting a "real" relationship.

I think too many people want what looks right not what IS right.

chin chin

Posted by: Roxybabi at September 10, 2007 4:52 PM

I have to express my complete and utter frustration at the banality of the profiles on RSVP. In a sea of men how on earth can I possibly choose one that has some common ground with me if their profile is full of bland, meaningless cliches.

And, that goes for the women too. I have read some of the womens' profiles and they do the same. If you are on this site to meet someone who you are compatible with then how on earth can you expect to find each other if you essentially say nothing!!!! ?

There are some excellent guidelines on this web site about how to write a profile that would help you - but I guess most people are to arrogant to actually read the help menu.

If any of you guys are reading this and wondering why I rejected your kiss or simply have not responded to you, perhaps go back and read MY profile carefully and ask yourself honestly, do you really have anything in common with me?

If people are not honest with themselves on this web site then the whole process is a complete waste of time.

One of the most common things I read in mens profile is that they don't want any more 'game players' well, being evasive is also a game so if you really want to meet someone then be real. Say who you are and what you want.

Here's some tips from me about writing a profile:

1. Try writing down all the characteristics that are not you (this is to help you define who YOU are)

2. Compare yourself to your friends and work out what is different about you to others

3. Think about your last relationship and what it was that didn't work for you - how does that define who you are?

4. Write a list of things that you couldn't live without

5. Name the top 3 values that you identify in a partner (omitting the obvious such as honesty)

6. AVOID!!!! - GSOH, walks along the beach, easy going guy, like to have fun, love to laugh, just looking for the right girl, etc (these statements mean nothing and are useless to your prospective partner)

Just a comment on responding and letting someone you've changed your mind and are no longer interested. There really isn't the facility on here to do that so if you've received a kiss and first responded positively then changed your mind there is no way of letting the person know unless you send an email - which costs a stamp. The problem is that many men think that any sign of contact, even negative, means that they've still got a chance.

I don't know about other women but I'm pretty direct. If I say NO it really means NO. If I have not contacted you it means I'm not interested. I don't get offended when men do the same. We all have the right to refuse contact with someone and we don't have to justify ourselves. If it doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel right.

All we need to do is gently let other people around us move on to the next person.

Posted by: decorouswoman at September 10, 2007 8:42 AM

Despite being a writer, I am very forgiving of spelling mistakes and typos; the important thing here, after all, is communication, right? So I take off my editor’s hat and concentrate on what that person actually has to SAY. (I’ll never forget reading a profile where the guy wrote, “Just because I’m dyslexic doesn’t mean I’m STUPID”. Crack! – that was the sound of my heart breaking for him.) That aside, turnoffs in a profile are what so many people have said: incomplete details or not enough details, bitter and/or jaded anti-dating or anti-woman statements, very recent separation, a photo gallery where the subject is a) blurry, b) in sunnies, c) topless in EVERY SINGLE PIC. Personal turnoffs that might make no sense to anyone else but make sense to me are: profiles that reveal no personality (eg. when the person says they’ve got a GSOH, and then there’s no GSOH to be seen anywhere in the profile), profiles where the guy goes on and on about what he owns/where he lives/what he does but doesn’t show who he actually IS, and profiles where the guy makes references to a) a princess b) a knight c) a lady d) chivalry e) spoiling f) pampering g) Romeo and Juliet (I’m not 13 years old nor planning to kill myself over a guy any time soon, thank you very much). Might sound fussy, but when this whole thing started I promised I’d never knock a guy back because of his looks, size, height, job, etc., and I reckon it’s balanced out.

Posted by: PrettyAsYou at September 9, 2007 9:32 PM

Woodwine,
I read your other blogs. Some good writing there.. Its all making sense to me now..It's just a game..
Unfortunely, I hate playing it. Oh well, to bad so sad.
Cheers..

Posted by: eureka1854 at September 9, 2007 9:03 PM

I knew if I used the right bait I would get a bight.

I always never buy a drink.

I see what you are all saying, I like, and try to be a gentleman all the time, I guess I have just been used far too much.

In the good o'le days, the men worked and women stayed home, because the men had all the money, they paid,(and so they should). But now women work to, so the "who pays" issue should become more equal.
There is a lot of women out there that earn a heck of a lot more then me,(sometimes for doing less work), so the equal pay debate wont work with me.
One girl asked me to buy her a drink one night, so I wrote down my work address and gave it to her. She asked why? I replied, "come around with some smoko, and I will buy a drink for you then." Needless to say, she didn't show up.
Another great one was a girl said,"buy me a drink", I said , I will get you what I'm drinking". Of course she didn't realize I was only drinking water, as I was the driver for the night. She was gonnnnne. OK, I'M A TIGHT A$$

Posted by: eureka1854 at September 9, 2007 8:38 PM

who gives a rats A hole for a few dollars in stamps anyway... would you still be complaining if you met that partner you want and things turned out just dandy?
it all balances out in the end... sort of anyway, but who cares, you'll spend ya money at some other place, its not as if $75 will break your budget (and no, i dont have shares in rsvp)
I guess this is new age shit people talk about... i'd dislike for a woman to buy stamps to chat to me... i'd feel like i owe her... HOWEVER (breaking news) if she cant cook and or hates cleaning... wouldn't feel too bad then... guess im just old school lost in what ever year it is we're in. Women have their jobs and we have ours, no matter what the feminist board says.
Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?
A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her

Posted by: g00glesBACK at September 9, 2007 2:34 AM

Wow, you are all getting a little off track here. We're talking about turn-ons and turn-offs aren't we?

I have to say I find myself feeling quite disturbed by the large numbers of female profiles saying words to the effect:

"I seek a man who will sweep me off my feet."

As a grown man I find that I tend to get on well only with women who are already happy and mature, rather than unhappy dreamers.

Am I the only one who feels uneasy with the sweeping off the feet thing? It just seems a little unnatural to expect to meet someone from this site who will make you swoon at first sight and thereafter transport you to Camelot on his white charger.

I do hope I haven't offended anybody.

Posted by: NemoDat at September 8, 2007 9:44 PM

Wow, I can't believe how many more blogs there are since I first have last been on.

I think that we should all look on the bright side. My dating experiences on RSVP regularly provide an entertaining morning with the girls during a Saturday coffee. We laugh, we cringe and at times we think 'ewwww'.

Just so you can all feel lucky let me tell you my latest dating experience....I met up with this guy, I wasn't really interested but met him because he had been so unbelievably persistant. Every time I thought that he had disappeared my phone would beep with a message and it would be him. In the end I gave in simply with the hope that he would be a little different from the well shall we say "non refined" person that I expected. I met him sponteneously one afternoon and was dressed very casually but still looked nice. He, on the other hand, wore a singlet, not just any singlet but one that was stained and looked like it had been worn for three weeks solid, ruggers and thonges.

Differences in people is what makes the world go round. He was a nice guy but not for me.

Everyone we meet teaches us a lesson. I will never have coffee again with someone that I don't think will suit and will stop contact earlier. I learnt this lesson because of this man and therefore meeting him was worth my time. There are others that I have thought that I was dating who have put their RSVP profile back on without a word to me...from that person I learnt the bad manners that I will never display to another.

I believe that our life experiences make us better people. The great people that we meet make us want to be better and show us things that we would like to resemble in our own personalities. The bad experiences show us what we don't want to be like and how we shouldn't treat other people. The trick is to learn the lesson.

And to the "nice guys", nice guys don't come last, those girls just tried you on for size and you simply didn't fit. There is another girl just around the corner who is just waiting for a nice guy like you. Good luck!

Posted by: A at September 8, 2007 9:34 PM

eureka1854, I'm so sorry that you feel that way about most women. I on the otherhand like the old fashioned men.
I like to feel special and not have my date distracted by penny pinching. I think an evening out with a beautiful woman, nice conversation and perhaps a second date or at least a bit of "making out" at the end of the date LOL, covers the cost of a few drinks. Best of luck in your search for love....

Posted by: curvaciousbod at September 8, 2007 9:31 PM

Wraecca and Notdeadyetmyfriend - Thank you both for your kind words. A great level of support, again thank you very much. I feel a lot better about myself and about the things I had written and experienced. I wish you both the very best in your experiences here.

Thank you to everyone else for your helpful advice as well. I will certainly not use a spanner on my mags next time G00gleback!

One more pet breaker: Writing someone a long email, only to get a 1 line response back saying "thanks for your long email, please write me another, here's my email address..."

Um, yeah? What am I supposed to do with that? Keep sending emails? LOL! Does anyone else ever get that? What do you do?

Posted by: at September 8, 2007 9:48 AM

eureka1854 at September 6...

"That's why I never buy a girl a drink. In this day of equality, why don't the women buy the guys a drink for a change?"

Don't you know the figures? When women finally receive equal pay for equal jobs perhaps your comment would have some validity...

...but actually- I don't think so, because....

1) they do buy guys drinks (tho perhaps you haven't experienced this....)

2) you say you "never buy a girl a drink"- now THAT doesn't sound very equal to me... 'always' & 'never' are tricky words eureka1854. If you're telling the truth then you practising gross inequality, & are quite simply- yes- tight.

love=instinctive equality
decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at September 7, 2007 11:48 PM

eureka1854 - you are learning the game. Read my blog under Sent a Song. Women don't pay, men pay.

Posted by: woodnwine at September 7, 2007 10:09 PM

Ipod, I think maybe the moderator missed my little "female canine" comment, lucky for me otherwise I might have been banished to the cruel sea of profiles.....
The Commenter...
What you said is true, although I have witnessed(not sure about the spelling) girls at bars getting drunk at the cost of other guys.
And for the record, if a girl is with me at a bar for my company, I do buy her a drink, just I do with all my other freinds. It's when they have no intention of staying and chatting I'm talking about.
...I must admit that I am having more fun here with the blogs then reading the profiles..

Posted by: eureka1854 at September 7, 2007 9:57 PM

aww ipod what a bummer!! I haven't any stamps at present either.. but if I did and when I do, one is coming your way for sure.. unless I am snapped up before then.. hehehe .. jk ;-)

Posted by: SeraphSuzie at September 7, 2007 7:13 PM

eureka1854. Yep, the stamp purchasing should be equal on both sides..... but phew.. you sound so ANGRY. Chill.. Not all women are free loading b$%^#. Just like not all men are leacherous sleezebags. Buying one person one drink and seeing their reaction is a pretty cheap way of finding out if they a user isn't it?

Posted by: The Commenter at September 7, 2007 3:34 PM

Postneo,
Thanks for pointing out my spelling errors, I got lazy and didn't refer to my dictionary. At least I know that my blogs are being read, unlike my profile. LOL - ( Lack Of Literature )

Posted by: eureka1854 at September 7, 2007 2:41 PM

I have bought many many stamps over the time Ive been registered with RSVP so it.s not like Im looking for a free ride. Just a break.

Posted by: ipod at September 7, 2007 7:43 AM

eureka1854, I'm surprised the moderator allowed you to call women "b*&^%" but when I had the idea to post my ph number here so I could meet for a chat with SeraphSuzie, the moderator thought THAT was out of bounds of what was acceptable. What a joke.
Friggin censorship everywhere.

Posted by: ipod at September 7, 2007 7:40 AM

LMAO... hay Eureka1854... to save time next time you meet someone at a bar mate, just ask the lady "can i buy you a drink or do you prefer the money"...
dude, would surprise me if you do actually ask... btw, are you an accountant, you know the kind that takes a calculator to the shops, or do you the maths in your head instead of concentrating on the constipated conversation...

cheers & goodluck

Posted by: g00glesBACK at September 7, 2007 12:43 AM

I read a blog where a lady (woman) stated that she expects guys to buy stamps and says its the same as buying a girl a drink at a bar.
Didn't she realize that the bra's where burnt last centery.
Here's some stats:
I have sent over 250 kisses and emails over the last 14 months, I have recieved back 28 replys, of which led to a meeting of 4 ladys, none of which led to a second meeting. So if I was at a bar and bought a drink for each kiss and email at an average price of $3.50, I would've spent $875 on women that don't want anything to do with me, HOW CHEAP IS THAT !
Women that want a guy to buy drinks for them, are 1 step above a leach. I work bloody hard to earn my money, so why would I waste it on b*&^%$. Why should they have a good night out at my expense. Thats why I never buy a girl a drink. In this day of equillities, why dont women buy the guys a drink for a change.

Posted by: eureka1854 at September 6, 2007 10:58 PM

OrnamentalOnly and Malsie, thank you both. When I posted that blog last week, I was actually feeling quite low, for several reasons, but one being because of some of the snide and judgemental postings that have been made recently. However, your posts, as well as those of some others (WAY too many to list here, I'd be here all night, lol) have made me happy in the knowledge that there are genuine people here on RSVP that are looking for that generosity of spirit, kindness of heart, and the beauty of the soul that radiates out, and draws a person into its loving embrace. I know, I'm sounding a bit corny now, but when I get melancholy, I tend to get a little poetic as well.
To movingforward2007, I've had a look at your profile, you seem to be a lovely guy, and I want you to know that not every female demands that her partner excel at sports, or be a first class electrician or plumber, or be a mechanical engineer (which it seems you need to be to fix cars nowadays, or so my dad says - he's an ex-mechanic, lol). I would love someone who wanted to spend time with me, and develop combined interests, as well as having our own separate ones. I mean, how many guys out there know how to make their own chain-mail shirts? What about girls? I think I'm among a minority there....
And as for everyone else out there in the land of blog, I wish you well, and send you my love (no strings attached), and hope that we all may find that special person to share our lives with.
One last parting comment for you all; for those who are only after the superficial, that is all that you will find. However, when you start to look for the inner beauty within each and every person you come across in life, when that special person appears, that beauty will almost blind you with its brilliance.
Good luck everyone, and happy hunting!!!

Posted by: Wraecca at September 6, 2007 6:10 PM

Not really off topic -

This blog is way too slow to load.

A bulletin board is much faster than this blog board.

Else you need to look at the code, its very slow.

Posted by: snowy777 at September 6, 2007 3:02 PM

Melbakimble, Amazing to think there is no-one contacting you between 22 and 50's - you have a wonderful profile, very mature and direct!

Posted by: movingforward2007 at September 6, 2007 2:01 PM

To Movingforward,

Mate, be wary of the difference between being a nice guy and a doormat - been there done that myself; it does't work.

Alright to go out there and live by your own convictions, but as soon as a woman senses that she can walk all over you - you're gonzo!!

Seriously, continue to be a nice guy, but be wary of being too nice.

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at September 6, 2007 1:28 PM

To movingforward2007

Hi, read your words and have to say I was smiling and agreeing with you and I am a woman. I too have come across people who are not who they say they are and just don't understand it either. Just take heart that there are women out there who are looking for the same honesty and truth that you are. I hear and share your frustration as I guess I have found some of the male counterparts to your female ones. Thankyou so much for sharing your thoughts as it made me realize that others have similar life philosophies and beliefs as I do - nice to know we are not extinct yet :)

Guess my first 'deal breaker' is being dishonest with me - the lies are so unnecessary and unwanted. Don't tell me you're 40 when you are 27, don't show me someone else's photo, do actually live in Australia (not be part of a Nigerian online scam group), and be truly available for a relationship. Yes, sadly have experienced all of these things.
I guess another 'deal breaker' (or potentially one) for me is the children issue. If someone is wanting more children then I have no choice but to decline as I have been told I can't have them and I don't want to mislead anyone.
Deal makers? If you are honest and can make me smile then you are well on your way to impressing me. If you have compassion and kindness in your eyes (eyes NEVER lie - just ask your Optomitrist), have a wicked SOH and the ability to laugh at yourself, and know how to respect another human being then my heart will open to you.
Just wanted to say thankyou to you for having the courage and integrity to be yourself. You will make a fine husband and father when the time is right. Lucky woman!

Posted by: Notdeadyetmyfriend at September 6, 2007 10:42 AM

hi all, i have been following the comments here and have enjoyed the exchange.
i am not sure how others feel, i find it frustrating when i receive " looking forward to receiving mail" and when you do, there is no reply to that email, this isn't a stamp wasting game!
I have been on and off here for many years and have made more friends than anything else, however If you write in your profile " looking for friendship", then why do some reply " not compatible" or started seeing someone"???
If you have started seeing someone, then why is your profile still visible? unless you are either dishonest or just keeping a few irons in the fire?? please say what you mean and mean what you say.
i also think that we should have more varied kiss and kiss reply options.
feedback welcome, thanks

Posted by: ralphforu at September 6, 2007 8:50 AM

Dear WhatIDidForLove

I was not aware how active a blogger you are.

Like Decoratress and Ornamental.

Blogging away will keep the 3 of you busy for years.

If your laptops/computers are playing up, I will personally assemble and donate to your welfare, each, a nice superfast MHz kit to chain you to your computers and keep you out of trouble, in exchange for advance visitation bookings over the next 12 months.

I'm used to sleeping on dreadful couches/swags on the cold hard ground/kitchen floors.

Will even demonstrate the new line in Ossie Swags with built in conveniences.

Just planning my round-Australia trip.

Posted by: EarlWyoming at September 6, 2007 7:49 AM

movingforward2007, you raised some good points and stated them well.

Posted by: ipod at September 6, 2007 6:24 AM

OK, deep breath...photos. I really wish RSVP could enforce some kind of passport photo control over profilers. They are SO bad.
Women especially - your photo is vital.
But for men or women it tells either sex so much more than words can say, and in so many ways that are subconscious. That does not mean you have to be a supermodel. Just show us who you are. I sometimes suspect photos are deliberately vague because the profiler lacks confidence in themselves. That is a real turn off.
Taking time to have a good photo does not make you shallow. I've had first dates where I was embarrassed not to be able to easily recognise the person because the photo was so indisctinct.
Try to think passport photo with a smile. Show your face. Take off your hat, drop your cat. And for most of us your face should not be dark. That's called underexposure. Does your head fill most of the frame? No? I hope you know why because I'm not here to date a tree or a cloud. I cant really see you, these are small enough to start with.
Granted, sometimes the upload software destroys a good photo, so pls, pls check your profile and review and learn. Digital photos cost nothing. Take a hundred and pick the best one that conveys you to someone who doesnt already know you.
OK, rant over.

Posted by: ieightnothing at September 6, 2007 3:00 AM

one more thing... my profile should help most guys get that date... my last profile got banned, too many complaints from people who apparently have a 'great sence of humour'... lmao.
so i just tamed down a bit, so far, so good...
Its all fun, man... just enjoy the ride

Posted by: g00glesBACK at September 5, 2007 10:46 PM

hey MOVINGFORWARD2007,
sounds like you dont know how to fix anything are not into sports of any kind, have not many mates to hang with, and easily frustrated by single women who cant see past this... lemme help!
dont try to figure out women...full stop, next topic.
the guys you mention are meatheads who make it to top 10... i have no idea why the hell they are actually here in the first place, you'd think they be taken already or maybe theyre just broadening their search and looking for a perfect blind woman, who knows... y00 are a good man, just be patient... i am, and if we die single, let it be... I just take 95% of people here as a joke anyway, most of their info or pics are what they want or used to be, not what they are NOW...

BTW, you dont use a spanner on mag wheels... wheel brace or ratchet gun works well...
cheers

Posted by: g00glesBACK at September 5, 2007 10:40 PM

eureka1854 if you're going to have a go about people's spelling, you could at least do so yourself! It's "TOO lazy to check YOU'RE spelling"

Oh and for anyone else, a lot is two words, no alot. Gosh.

This was off topic, but an enjoyable rant none-the-less.

Posted by: postneo at September 5, 2007 10:17 PM

Perfect partner-
Girls.. Your just to picky. You want it all, tall, handsome, loves kids, doesn't have kids, likes pets, doesn't have pets, must be settled, but want's to travel, owns his house, but must live near you, and the list goes on. No wonder your still single. If by chance there is a guy out there that is so perfect, I doubt he would be using internet dating to find a lady. When I see a list of requirements I click next because all that says to me is that your not prepared to compromise, and that is why there is so many problems with relationships.

That's EXACTLY my sentiments, Eureka. Far too many women here seem to have the "job application" mentality and will only consider you if you fit their "ideal." being ONE year older than their ideal age range has got me the "Sorry, you don't meet their ideal partner criteria" reply not once but twice.

It's all for the best I suppose, I mean, why would I want to be with someone that inflexible and shallow anyway? It is a bit demoralizing at the time though, I must admit.

Posted by: megaman2007 at September 5, 2007 10:07 PM

fotographer.. hmm I am betting you will be alone for a very long time.. Younger men not wanting older ladies? hahaha well hate to be the bearer of bad news buddy, but your totally off the mark with that one. Makeup and nose hair? Seriously you think your that perfect that you have the right to judge women? Or anyone else for that matter? Maybe its time you stop focusing on others foibles and contend with your own ! :-)

Posted by: SeraphSuzie at September 5, 2007 9:52 PM

To Trojan308
If I hear anyone tell me I am a nice guy again i will spew all over them!

It does make me sick, and I feel like saying to them what?
am i too good for you ?
I really don't think these ones are looking for anything more than sparks,electricity,x factor,connections,bling bling and a quick roll in the hay.
Those hormones at their age must be really hard to deal with.

Posted by: thefotgrafer at September 5, 2007 8:17 PM

Trojan308

I agree with your view, that nice guys do finish last. I've lost count of the number of women who have told me I am such a nice guy, but who ultimately want someone who will be less nice towards them. Or they can't see any romantic potential because I am such a nice guy, and I need to be a bit less caring and interested in them, And here I thought this is what women always wanted, a caring guy who will be receptive to their needs, and the relationship as an entity.

Posted by: movingforward2007 at September 5, 2007 12:06 PM

Trojan308

I agree with your view, that nice guys do finish last. I've lost count of the number of women who have told me I am such a nice guy, but who ultimately want someone who will be less nice towards them. Or they can't see any romantic potential because I am such a nice guy, and I need to be a bit less caring and interested in them, And here I thought this is what women always wanted, a caring guy who will be receptive to their needs, and the relationship as an entity.

Posted by: at September 5, 2007 11:11 AM

For some reason my line breaks don't show up in the preview. Most annoying.
This is all off topic, excuse me.

Where to begin.... I agree with many sentiments already mentioned here, this will be particularly negative and perhaps bitter but I am in that frame of mind at the moment, brought on by experiences here. I removed my profile a few months back because of this, but I came back to have a look recently and this blog seems interesting and I have so very much to say after being on here for a long time, so I wish to contribute.

I am male in my late 30's, never married no kids so maybe that brings a touch of naivete to my posting and expectations, but there you go.

Everything from requesting an email and then not replying to it, and being 3 times larger and 10 years older than the posted pic has been mentioned, so here are a couple of others that frustrate me:

- Looking for stereotypes, for eg apparently a man is not a man if he doesn't know how to fix things, know everything there is to know about sport, likes to get his hands dirty all the time, macho to the extreme, dives off cliffs for fun, can fix his own car, runs the show anywhere he goes etc etc. There are a lot of guys out there who will care more about YOU than the bloody sports or the car, or care more about the children you have together, than hanging out with his mates all the time.... These sorts of things are traits that you will find interesting to begin with, but annoying when you want someone to talk to or understand you. Then no doubt eyes will roll and you will talk to your girlfriends about how your partner is never there or doesn't understand. It's so damn frustrating to see this play out. I would like nothing more than to be a good husband (when I have a wife) and father to my kids (when I have them). Why would you want someone who is not going to be there for you? Or will not listen when you want to talk to him, because the footy show is on and that's more important? Or because he has organised a fishing trip with his best mate and wont cancel it because you are sick in bed and need soup? Aren't you his best mate? I cared for my sick mother for ages, and I had to help her in ways many (male and female) would flich at, and I can tell you as far as I'm concerned that makes me more of a man than knowing what size spanner to use on my mag wheels.

- meeting someone who you really connect with, have a similar outlook with, have the same goals etc enjoy a warm friendship that could easily progress into something more, with someone who claims you are a great guy and that one day something "could happen" but who then insists on keeping her options open by staying on rsvp and sending kisses and emails to and from other men. Keeping your options open when you are both 19 is one thing, keeping them open when you are both in your 30's is different. I will add to this point meeting a woman who knows you are not ever going to be more than friends, but she lets you buy her dinner, drive halfway across town to pick her up near where she lives etc while she dates other guys, and the reason she does this is because she is allowing you to fulfill your "need" to be chivalrous. Go away for goodness sake. The reality in this situation is that you are a user. I don't like it when I am used for a free ride any more than you.

- guys who end up in the top 10 despite having things in their profiles like "I'm a lingerie man, so show me what you got." (yes this is a real one) This guy had very little on his site, apart from a "hot" photo. Makes me wonder how they end up in the top 10, do women enjoy being viewed in such a way that they would want to contact a guy like this? From reading this blog, I somehow don't think so. So how did he get there? Do people automatically end up with a high hot 100 listing because they buy 50 stamps or something? Why does a meathead who is looking to treat women like meat, end up high in the top of the top list, why is he so highly prized? What does this say about us?

- I think a general problem for males on any singles site is that the men outnumber the women by several to one, and there is a high percentage of people who are just here for the fun and games.

This blog has made me feel so much less alone. Thank you all!

Posted by: movingforward2007 at September 5, 2007 10:46 AM

i have been on rsvp for 9 mths
and found that men are looking for WHAT.
they are particular in want they want and you read their profile and they want more or less the same as you and then you send them a kiss and they send back your profile doesnt suit .ok guys what is it
the photo doesnt suit.
we are all so picky.
why cant you kiss us and if we dont suit what you want then just be friends .women can be friends you know
but i wish they had a kiss that says something like i like your photo but i would only like to be friends with you. ive had a few guys send me kisses but their profile says their attached /married only want friends ,what the hell does that mean /you only want sex.
is that a nice way of putting it
sorry but i dont reply to those sort of terms is not me im afraid.
i feel sorry for their spouses when they find out.
believe me they will you cant hide things forever .
i feel sorry for your children as well . i had a guy that was 34 looking for that /shame on you .im pretty disappointed in rsvp .if your seeking friends /friends then say so be it a women or men.and act like a friend/not a fling.

Posted by: at September 5, 2007 8:41 AM

Wraecca, you sound just that - a beautiful person (same age as my daughter, who is another beautiful young woman) - wishing you lots of love, happiness and fun in your life.

Posted by: Malsie at September 4, 2007 10:05 PM

um ipod I looked at your profile and it was different, but funny and interesting.. you would be the type of person I could sit and listen to for hours because I think you would have heaps of great stories. I like your profile :-)

Posted by: SeraphSuzie at September 4, 2007 8:21 PM

I see were somebody mentioned that logging onto these blogs is becoming his only interest in RSVP and that makes sense considering all the turn offs in profiles and meeting people who don't live up to their profiles.

For me these are the ones I find less appealing..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

New Age religion......mental, real mental problems here and it is something most men don't want to deal with.

I am younger than I look..............well we can see that......but...............how old do you think you look?

I am 50 whatever but feel younger inside.......................we all do !!!

Women looking for younger men......................pleeeease,have alook in the mirror................with you clothes off.

I live an unconventional life.................

what !!! does that mean you will never marry,you live with many men,your a hippy ..............give me a break. That is not appealing.

I like Art House Cinema and have ecletic tastes.............

Huh? is that in between sipping Lattes and reading SMH on Sunday Morning?
This is very serious stuff.

AND WHEN I DATE THE BIGGEST PUT OFF IS........................................HAIR NOSE !!!!!!!! ARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Why is it that when I go to all the trouble of presenting myself as best I can that women have forgot about hair nose ?

Sometimes it looks like it has never been removed or maybe it's that looking in the mirror thing and still seeing the teen face and boobs.............................

BAD MAKEUP

.............................................................YEP !!!!!! SOME WOMEN DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PUT ON MAKEUP OR HOW TO USE COLOURS THAT ENHANCE THEIR LOOKS.

It jus reminds me sometimes of that frumpy secretary in the DREW CAREY SHOW.

Posted by: fotografer at September 4, 2007 2:14 PM

I am no profesional but,This is my opinion on the subject Deal Breakers:
Incorrect spelling-Your trying to impress, what does it say about you when your either to lazy to check your spelling or can't spell. I have a dictionary beside the computer because I'm not the worlds best speller.
Text Talk-
Unless your emails are billed by the amount of letters you use, there is no excuse to abbreviate words. Once again this shows that your to lazy to spend the time to write your profile to impress.
Perfect partner-
Girls.. Your just to picky. You want it all, tall, handsome, loves kids, doesn't have kids, likes pets, doesn't have pets, must be settled, but want's to travel, owns his house, but must live near you, and the list goes on. No wonder your still single. If by chance there is a guy out there that is so perfect, I doubt he would be using internet dating to find a lady. When I see a list of requirements I click next because all that says to me is that your not prepared to compromise, and that is why there is so many problems with relationships.
Photos-
Lets not lie about this, men AND woman go for physical attraction first. Woman say they don't, but you only have to look at the top 100 guys to see. How many people read a profile that has in their eyes a photo of an unattractive person in it. And why the need to hide the photo, I don't even read profiles unless the photo is visible, because I DO have to be attracted to them.
Sport-
I don't care for this much as it doesn't excite me, but if a girl goes to the gym all the time, it tells me their to busy to spend time with me and only interrested in making themselves look good, not that there is anything wrong with that.
Deal Makers:
Attractive visible photo. The opposite to all the deal breakers and HONESTY and ACCEPTANCE, the rest is up to me and them as we get to know each other.
I hope this has been helpfull to people out there,
Goodluck.......

Posted by: eureka1854 at September 4, 2007 12:49 PM

#Deal breakers
people lying about their age
people lying about their weight
illiterates
profile littered with "basically"
profile is unintelligible drivel
photo is grainy or off in the distance
profile is cliched
#deal Makers
Ummm, who cares. After all the deal breakers are weeded out no one is left to make a deal with! LOL!

Posted by: getReal at September 4, 2007 9:44 AM

Hi all. I'd just like to say a big thanks to all you bloggers who sign off with your user name. It's fun checking out some other profiles - male and female - and putting faces to comments made. I also think it shows some integrity; being prepared to stand by what you say.
Night!

Posted by: heymgirl at September 4, 2007 1:22 AM

woodnwine, really! You can't compare a Comic to a real -life superhero.Lying cheat is amusing...you're "just not into him" are you?

BrushKestrel..your name is fine given the meaning behind it. ...but 4000hp sounds good too...
Samson looks for Delilah?

Anonymous Aug30,,,I could have sworn BrushKestrel asked for opinions. What a sad empty life you must lead to have to try to continually guess the identity of bloggers and try to see if they match previous bloggers, and then point out any similarities. Your purpose for that?
Can't get my life right? In what way? Let me see...
A very happy childhood.
Successful at school and sport. Tertiary qualified to Post Graduate level.
Fairytale wedding.
Long happy marriage to a man who loved me and continues to love me.
Two beautiful happy and now grown up and successful children.
Successful career of my own
Husband progressed with my help to a very high profile career. Wined and dined with everyone from Diplomats Royalty Ambassadors Military Prime Ministers Bishops Actors etc etc for years.
Friends all over the world.
Happy close extended family.
Great personal friends
Great home
Wonderful and hectic social life.

Happy to wait for the right man for me now...and get many many contacts. The poor man has a hard act to follow. Not too bad looking .

Which part of my life is not right again?

Oh that's right it must be the couple of kilos I have to lose...or the fact that the driveway needs sweeping but I have been away for the weekend......

Posted by: whatididforlove at September 3, 2007 10:27 PM

Re posting by: Wraecca at August 30, 2007 9:54 PM.

Girl, I completely agree with your statements on variations in body weights/frame/muscle etc.

As one who looks emaciated and ill at 56kgs (as I was some years ago) but looks good anywhere from 60kg-77kgs I don't ever judge others who may be shorter/taller/thinner/heavier than I am. To me, it is all about healthiness.

Personally, I don't care what someone looks like physically, unless there are outward signs of nastiness which can (I've seen it!) change people's features temporarily or even, permanently. And I'm not talking about any injury/hereditary disfigurements or variations.

Funnily enough, a person's good nature and humour shines through whatever body they have and that's what I find attractive.

As for the wish that some have, of knowing weight and height measurements; I've stated a reply to someone else on this matter via another topic. In part of it, I mentioned my son who at 6'4" weighs 120kgs (I did originally post 100kgs but was out of date,) and with his frame, muscle density and hereditary background plus the fact he has no fat (yes, it is all muscle!) this is perfectly acceptable and healthy for him. But, on different frame and/or height -of course it may be different and judged as unhealthy and sometimes, even medically dangerous.
But there you go. All the stats and averages and ratios, blown out of the water by natural, real life variations. -Guess that is part of what has ensured the survival of our species, eh?

Finally Wraecca, I have always believed in the sentiments expressed in your statement and could not possibly say it any better:

Wraecca: "Beauty will fade, bodies will sag. Weight can be lost (or gained). Shouldn't we be looking for beauty within the soul, generosity within the heart, and kindness and compassion in our partners, rather than the requisite height, eye and hair colour?"

Posted by: OrnamentalOnly at September 3, 2007 10:24 PM

Thanks TrumansCat for having a peek at my profile and telling me what you think. My previous reply (to 'whatIdidforlove') seems to have vanished (ditto several lumps out of my profile via an RSVP edit), so I'll leave that part of the topic alone - guess I crossed an invisible line somewhere.

Wraecca: If only it weren't for the intervening thousand k's or so! Sadly, I can't uproot and move - the terms of my visa require continuing employment with one named company, so I'm rather firmly rooted to the spot by that one.

I also have the wide shoulders / stocky build problem. Many people have asked me if I play rugby - apparently my knees are rugby players knees. No matter how much weight I lose, my shoulders will always be this wide, and my knees always this big...

Posted by: at September 3, 2007 7:25 PM

I changed my profile today with true stories first to make it interesting to read and hook 'em and then I said stuff about myself. Maybe this new (radical approach) will get me more interest than if I just got stuck into my likes etc... straight away.
Take a look and comment on it if you like.

Posted by: ipod at September 3, 2007 4:24 PM

This one 4 DAYS!!!!
The last being August 30, 2007 7:34 PM.....
Anyone else disappointed with RSVP of late??

Posted by: TrumansCat at September 3, 2007 4:22 PM

Is there a record attempt going on here by RSVP???

No new blogs posted since last Wednesday 30 August 07 and it's now MONDAY 3 SEPTEMBER.

Guess it's lucky we're still waiting in the same year, if not month.

Signed by
Rip Van Winkle.

Posted by: OrnamentalOnly at September 3, 2007 9:54 AM

I hate profiles that don�t flow, have no feeling also ones that are rushed with no thought put in. Profiles with no humor and a lot of contradictions are unattractive Fake and materialistic profiles also are a turn off. In addiction users that you message don�t even have the decency to reply even if they are not interested or just lie in their replies for example: They are thrilled about receiving a message however started dating someone and no longer wish to have further contact, its fine you know they just spun the biggest story as for the next month or so they are online every time they come up on search results. Funny that! I think honesty is the best policy. I would love getting true feedback. Like your ears are too big or something like that lol�Maybe it is just me that likes honest feedback. Regardless of the profile or picture, there is no way someone can judge a person by his or her profile/first message. People are different and will message differently at the same time they can be the nicest people one has ever met. I know there are some idiots out there that destroy it for the nice ones however it is all about gut instinct when two get to chat. Maybe a free chat window or instant messaging on RSVP between the two members of interest for a month to get to learn more about each other?

Posted by: v4value at September 2, 2007 11:28 PM

Uhhhh Women - brains, brawn and balls....

I hate women who won't post their pix, and I hate the RSVP system for contacting these "anony-mouses".. to get their picture unlocking code...

What a joke.

If "you's women" want to get a great man - get up-front... instead of expecting US MEN to pander to neurotic or "etherial" tendencies...

Posted by: MeShaneUJane at September 2, 2007 6:59 PM

*Sigh*

A male contacted me with:

no message attached to his VK,
no pic
and very few details on his profile.

He also did specify I:

"would have to have kids" (yes, I do but not so very young as his are,) and love to go to movies, on picnics and long country drives.

Just a question to the people who complain women don't give men what they want on RSVP:

Do you think this messageless/pictureless/but specific in his needs of what "I must be",

is really a woman pretending to be a man?
Or, a man disguised as a woman?

Posted by: OrnamentalOnly at September 2, 2007 3:44 PM

deal breakers: having a photo of fish in hand or a beer at pub, long untidy hair, beer gut,looking for women /men that are much younger than you, not alot of women like fishing the beards their so out dated are you trying to hide some thing and camping, and last but not the least a motor bike photo.
deal makers:someone who is curtious enough to send a kiss back,and read someones profile and they seem sincere honest and open

Posted by: at September 2, 2007 12:40 PM

I am new to blogging so have been following all your comments with much interest. I thought I was not getting many responses because of my age but perhaps it is because of the way I have worded my profile. I have to admit my pic is 4 years old and am in the process of putting a recent one in its place. How about a bit of feedback from both sides? I can take it.

Posted by: mushie6 at September 2, 2007 9:12 AM

I became instantaneously and irrevocably addicted to blogging last Thursday night.

I have enjoyed immensely the comments back and forth and having been guilty of sins against bloggers went back to my profile hoping that no-one has seen my heinous faux pas (plural).

Having been on RSVP for a couple of weeks only and getting replies from men who are obviously not within my "ideal partner" parameters I was very much disconcerted by the lack of suitable (or in fact any) response.

Thanks for your lessons in blogging "manners".

Posted by: panoptic at September 1, 2007 10:21 PM

I can understand that ppl would prefer to see pictures in profiles.
I don't have a pic in mine for this reason.
-I don't want to be noticed by people who know me or know of me, I value my privacy.

Posted by: PlainJaneRocks at September 1, 2007 5:38 PM

Hi There.
Well then.......... Arn't we all fabulous and different.

I would just like to say this. If we are all still alone then perhaps the criteria we use to say "yes, let's spend some time to see if we can gel", may well be the problem.

It is true that I am overweight. But I am also (and I believe more importantly), funny, engaging, spontaneous, witty and absolutly a fantastic catch!

We are people. 3 dimensional, emotive, flawed people and isn't that great. Because if we were all gorgeous, glamourous, magazine cuts outs with no flaws, how boring would life be!

Be real and be happy.

Chin chin!

.

Posted by: Roxybabi at September 1, 2007 2:40 PM

I'd say deal breakers for me would certainly include:
-no attempt to show any depth of character at all
-specifying an age range the girls age is not in (how could you not want to date someone your own age?), as well as the whole foot taller thing, go figure...
-appearing normal enough in the body of the profile but then demanding 'business owner, executive, etc...' in the 'needs to be' section. Why not just advertise yourself as a gold-digger and be done with it?
-Poor level of English (Communication is IMPORTANT!)

This is somewhat tangential, but my pet hate is that the person you kissed never even checks out your profile, and hardly ever logs on.

Other than that, I think discussing deal breakers or makers is very subjective.

Re Aliane's posts: The Nobel Prize to anyone who can work out what on earth she is on about. It's anybody's guess!

Posted by: prefer to remain anonymous at September 1, 2007 12:28 AM

Re the weight issue and the comments above.. I've listed myself as average. Generally, people seem to be biased against overweight people, so I'd rather overstate than understate for the sake of those who respect honesty as much as I do. Slim is the lowest end of the scale. If their was a skinny or underweight category then that would change the relative feel of each of the others, and I'd probably then rate myself as slim. Also, what does 'average' mean these days? Average as in not underweight/not overweight? Or within the range of the average woman, which, if all the articles appearing in the media are to be believed, is steadily creeping up? Maybe listing weight is the way to go, given that height is already listed. Mental arithemetics for all! A numeracy test, perhaps? seeing as alot of us are big on literacy. Then there's the weight distribution aspect of it all... even more to mess up our own and each other's heads with! In the end, chemistry seems to win out over many of these individual measurements anyway, thank goodness.

Posted by: heymgirl at August 31, 2007 8:57 PM

Brush Kestrel...what a difference a day makes...good god! where can I buy the ticket for that train...??? I would want to be on it with you..That sounds so exciting glamorous and romantic...fantastic...
and you...you have morphed overnight into Mr Romantic and Cool...if only I was 20 years younger....
the train thing...and the "i haven't met you yet"...OMG! "sigh"...
if you don't have them lining up to meet a English romantic gentleman and great catch I will give up advising anyone ever again!

ps sorry if my post caused you to be noticed by rsvp regarding the google remark...

pps you still have to at least lose the beard in my opinion although maybe you could ask the 20 somethings...
I will send a congratulations kiss over..no need to be afraid of the old lady :-)

Posted by: whatididforlove at August 31, 2007 7:08 PM

@ Lurker2(notrsvp name-what is?) I agree in not mentioning sex in profiles(I havnt!) nor would I introduce it into an email or conversation with a woman unless she mentioned it first. That may be enough to have me running....well.....in one direction or another! lol! I was referring to other comments and the perceived idea men only want one thing. I cant speak for anyone else but its not me! Besides, there's a thing called BEING TURNED ON! NOT OFF! Mind, Body AND Soul! So dont flatter yourself girls,ok. Again, I only speak for myself. HONESTLY. ATTENTION ANYONE! (Who is interested-Not you ROCCO!) I am open to suggestion re- my profile (this could hurt!) I know photo is a shocker, friends are so.............honest! But im working on that, wig,soft focus shot,brad pitt make over! Seriously, I have tried to convey my personality traits etc as best I could. I now throw myself at the mercy of the court! IMANENIGMA

Posted by: imanenigma at August 31, 2007 1:46 PM

whatididforlove Aug30 - instead of reading lyingcheat's profile.

Posted by: woodnwine at August 31, 2007 10:33 AM

All these blogs are is a bunch of people passing judgment on each other and criticizing other peoples desires/wants which are triggering their own awful bitterness and baggage. What an absolutely amazing collection of losers!

* Posted by: dont think so at August 29, 2007 7:11 PM

WHAT A ************** ( read someone who has no comprehension of the human psyche.)

irrespective of future comments, most of you should learn from the old world, if you have nothing nice to say, dont say nothing at all. If you criticize, then expect to receive as good as you dish out.

Touche, tis better to remain silent and thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

whatididforlove at August 30, 2007 6:29 PM thats the type of constructive criticism, that is really nice to read on here, and shows a genuine interest in a fellow human. WELL DONE.

Posted by: TwoEyes at August 31, 2007 3:40 AM

woodnwine/whatididforlove:

Thanks for the hints about mods to the profile - I can rebalance a few things in there to suit now I know where I'm a bit off balance.

Re: the name

You are correct in that it does refer to my interests - in particular, the Brush built, Sulzer engined prototype named 'Kestrel'. It's one of my 3D modelling projects. This is no bird though, it's a 133 ton 4000hp monster, which captured my imagination when I first saw a photo of it. It just looks so curvy and wonderful. Sadly I'll never get to see it - it was scrapped in Russia in the late 80s. ('Curvy and wonderful' turned out to be hard to model though, so did 'festooned with awkward fiddly bits'...)

Not my first choice of name, but I tried all kinds of combinations of words when I signed up. With the things you can't include (like anything that looks even remotely like the first part of your email address), and the fact that the database is kinda full already, I could either get something with a string of numbers long enough to be one of these blog 'security code' things (and who wants the same name as a million other people), or something more unusual. I started trying random combinations to see if I could get anything to go through, and this one did. I guess it was a bit of an accident really.

(I wonder if I can change it, and if so, what would I change it to?)

The google thing, if you do it right, gives one hit, which is my website. It's got a load of my art on it, including some desktop sized renders of the Kestrel. Google doesn't seem to want to do more than give you the index page though, so it might require a bit of scrolling. I was wary of trying to give a direct link because it could so easily be seen as a stamp-escaping tactic - it's not, you won't find any contact information on my website. I get enough spam as it is without giving the world my email address...

As for cutting my hair off - not so sure about that one, seems kinda drastic. Given the advice about being honest, I'm not sure I'd want to try having only photos with it tied back either - I'd hate for someone to not realise I have hair. Experience from England tells me that that girls who can accept someone who listens to the kind of music I do are normally OK with longer hair, but that might not apply over here - some stuff translates across directly, other stuff doesn't...

As for more showy clothes - I'll have to get some first ...

Posted by: BrushKestrel at August 30, 2007 10:58 PM

What do I look for in a profile? It's not really the physical appearance but more if I think we would be get along. If we have similar tastes in music, hobbies etc. Having been in a long term relationship/marriage (23 yrs) to a good looking man I realise that I would much rather be with someone who makes me laugh and who I enjoy being with than someone who looks good on my arm. Turn offs for me are people who seem to have a very high opinion of themselves because as the saying goes if it sounds too good to be true then it probably isn't. My profile doesn't have a photo and not because I want to be deceitful or am trying to hide but more that I am no that comfortable placing my image on the internet - who knows who will see it eg work colleagues and friends and that would be hard to live down. It certainly doesn't mean that I am not ready to date as previous bloggers have intimated.

Posted by: tmk961 at August 30, 2007 10:45 PM

BrushKestrel, I just viewed your profile, and sent you a 'kiss', because I think that you sound like someone I could become friends with. Your profile did actually appeal to me, as I too am a bit of a Lordi fan, an online gamer (RPG and strategy), and as you'll see in my profile, LOVED Serenity. By the way, if you ever travel to North Qld, on the last Sunday of the month in Townsville, they have miniature trains at the Railway Estate/South Townsville park. They have working steam engines, as well as some diesel/electric ones that you can ride. Only $5 entry for the whole day.

Woodnwine, thank you for your compliments on my profile, however, it appears that most guys don't find it that appealing. Oh well, their loss. I checked yours out as well, I liked it's honesty, and the fact that you were very definite about who you are, but said it in a non-confrontational way. Good luck with your search, and if you'd like a friendship with me, then I would welcome it :)

Lastly, I'm going to weigh into the weight debate (no pun intended, lol). Even when I was 20, and weighed about 75kgs, I was never considered to be slim. My body type will not allow me to state that, even if I was to become anorexic. Even at 75kgs, I was "overweight" for my height, yet you could see my ribs through my clothes at times. Yes, I freely admit that at the moment, I am overweight. I need to lose weight. However, I have broad shoulders, a wide ribcage, and because of the weights I used to leg-press as a teenager, my thighs are quite large (although muscly, hence me playing union, league and Broomball). I am quite strong, and we all know that muscle weighs more than fat. So when I am at my own personal ideal weight of 80kgs, will I still be classified as "overweight", because of my build? Technically, I could put "largish", as most people might think I'm just fat, however, if you look at my profile photos, you will see my build will be considered "stocky" no matter what I weigh.
I have put up with taunts and insults regarding my size, so I am a bit sensitive about it. The fact that I am 5'5" (or 5'4", depending on the scale), and have broader shoulders than my dad (who is about 6'0"-6'2" tall, and has quite broad shoulders) means that my feelings regarding this issue can be easily bruised. Maybe I'm rambling a bit now (sorry, it's been a long week), and I understand why people prefer certain physical aspects for their 'Ideal Partner', but isn't it really what's on the inside that matters? Beauty will fade, bodies will sag. Weight can be lost (or gained). Shouldn't we be looking for beauty within the soul, generosity within the heart, and kindness and compassion in our partners, rather than the requisite height, eye and hair colour? Oh, by the way, I have no demands for my ideal partner, only things that I am drawn to. My profile openly states that.

Well, now that I've made myself all melancholy, I think I'll go now. Good luck to each and every one of you, and just remember this: if you are a beautiful person on the inside, this will reflect on your outside, and people you may not even know will love you for it. A genuine smile to a stranger can brighten their day, and a kind word can change the outcome of someone's life.
I think I'll go and curl up in bed with my cat now, and have a cry. I think I need one......

Posted by: Wraecca at August 30, 2007 9:54 PM

wow whatididforlove, i suppose wynter has finished now so name change is always handy. its the trademark telling people what to do with their own lives when you can't get yours right that sticks out the most - easy to recognise.

Posted by: at August 30, 2007 9:47 PM

Brushkestrel...
the only advice I would give is to play up your best asset, your smile. There is a sweetness to your smile that is really appealing..... & your profile? It's a fair & upfront representation of you, leave it as is.... not much point in changing yourself to suit the masses, be true to yourself & the right woman will come knocking...
XXX

Posted by: TrumansCat at August 30, 2007 8:11 PM

woodnwine Aug 29 .

....instead of what?

Posted by: whatididforlove at August 30, 2007 7:34 PM

brush kestrel...yep, of course..always happy to assist!
Firstly I have seen your name on these blogs but never bothered to check your profile because I imagined you were some sort of bird watcher about 75 years old(and if there is one thing I hate it is members of the local branch of racing pigeon fanciers ...I am sure they even gamble and have a secret betting ring.......and a goat...no wait a minute that is the masons....)..brush and bush is also pretty close without my glasses and I thought greenie for sure...(and if there is one thing I hate its...) anyway ....I just from your name I deduced that you would have a collection of Lanchoo Tea Bird Card Collection albums to rival my Mum's....and I visualised a wiry 70+ on a bush walk.....
so..first thing change the name... I am sure it refers to one of your creative talents or interests...and the google thing gave no clue...but for a dating site name for a young guy...nuh!

So I looked at your profile and thought the headline was quite okay. It actually says something about you(and I think there are some people who like to take others under their wing(oops bird reference again) so all okay with the headline.

Your profile was well written and amusing and your intelligence shines through. You know yourself and are aware that your interests might not be for everyone, but the fact that you know that is a bonus. The reader doesn't feel worried that you might force them upon her.
You sound like a nice sort of a guy, smart and intelligent and with your life sorted out and you sound warm and approachable. And you must be a bit adventurous if you have moved across the world..you could play that up a bit.
Without wishing to hurt you I would say maybe tone down the interest in trains on your profile I know it is quite a normal interest in England, but here it could be seen as a bit eccentric and not so cool.
I would change a few of your words around to make yourself seem a bit more exciting. eg Instead of saying you make models,(I visualise a third grader) just say that you enjoy being creative and love art. Take out the bits about being unable to do things on your own (sounds too needy)and just put in that you are looking for someone fun to go out with and to show you their city and to get back into cycling with...and take out the bit about the corny romantic things..it makes you sound reluctant..and girls love to believe in romance..
Now, as for your photo...I would tell you to lose the facial hair and get a short hair cut. I don't think long hair is in fashion or very attractive. The facial hair does nothing except hide your nice face and turn lots of women off. Get at least one photo in dressier clothes...as I say to my son "you are now a gentleman and need to dress as one sometimes if you want to attract a young lady" Women like to imagine introducing you to their friends and family and they want to know you will "scrub up okay"
The photo on the couch with your hair back shows how handsome you would look if you cut your hair short. Definitely lose the beard.
bet wishes for finding romance and for your new life in Brisbane.

Posted by: whatididforlove at August 30, 2007 6:29 PM

Brushkestral - just checked your profile and it appears OK to me but that's from a guy's point of view. You seem like a nice bloke with varied interests but I can tell you that when I was in my 30s I had hair your length and it does limit your options with women in that age group, although probaly OK with the younger ones. I'm not suggesting you cut it just making you aware. Good luck mate.

Posted by: woodnwine at August 30, 2007 2:21 PM

woodnwine
your profile is good straight to the point and very honest
ok some people have been hurt ,have baggage,cant stop the hurt. but some men want what they want but dont find it here. they better tidied up there own back yard before they ask for what they want on here{rsvp} i do agree that there should be no glamour shots though. you are what you are but not alot of people look at that. we look at a photo here and if we dont like what we are looking at we go no further.but then you see them looking at you. so what gives .
i dont call myself drop dead gorgeous far from it.
but i like to think there is someone out thee that will like me and my profile enough to get in touch with me.

Posted by: dizblon at August 30, 2007 9:58 AM

Ok...read most of these, still dont get all of your fighting re the real reason for this blog. IRL - in real life, i tend to love people critiscising me as I rarely get it...probably because im prepared for the your short (relative to most 6foot aussie males) and stocky (as opposed 2 fat which im not as i do work out).

To the all, yes there is an aparent skewing of the truth as there is with both sexes, SO WHAT? A picture tells it all, lack of one merely cements the fact that you are either too pretty and seek someone real or not as physically attractive and lack the self confidence to place the most photogenic pic you have. So what? put one up, we all have a right to prejudge as im sure has been done repeatedly to each and every one of us.

HOWEVER, IF you are true to your beliefs and honestly do seek something, then the picture is a guide and what is written also. Take it all in context and follow a lead even if it is slightly left of center. Have you ever met a couple that ALWAYS saw eye to eye?

Irrespective of future comments, most of you should learn from the old world, if you have nothing nice to say, dont say nothing at all. If you critisice, then expect to receive as good as you dish out. Im still hoping to meet someone who i can argue with till the cows come home...most females simply give up.

C'est la vie...aur voir all.

Posted by: ChuckieGc at August 30, 2007 2:02 AM

whatididforlove at August 27...

I can assure you that lyingcheat is Lurker...

decoys&deceptiondetection
decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at August 29, 2007 11:56 PM

Can I ask what's such a dealbreaker about my profile? I get very very few views. My profile will be looked at by one person (let's say because I kissed them), and then the same person will be in the 'last person to view your profile' section for the next 4+ days. Given that they just told me to sod off, I can't believe they are coming back and looking again, so it has to be that I'm getting no views.

(OTOH, not everyone who turns me down appears there - do I really get turned down based on profile name alone?)

Given this, I'm assuming the problem is in the primary photo or the headline, as someone viewing my profile and finding problems elsewhere would show up in my history.

I'll admit the headline is no masterpiece, but I can't see why people would run a mile from it. The picture shows me (yes, it is me, not someone else) as clear as I can get based on a place to balance the camera and the 10 sec timer. It is *very* recent, and it is honest - not messed around with in photoshop or similar. I don't think I've fallen into any of the traps people have already mentioned, e.g. including fish or motorbikes.

Anyone have any views about what I'm doing wrong?

Posted by: BrushKestrel at August 29, 2007 7:44 PM

All thes blogs are is a bunch of people passing judgement on each other and criticising other peoples desires/wants which are triggering their own awful bitterness and baggage. What an absolutely amazing collection of losers!

Posted by: dont think so at August 29, 2007 7:11 PM

To all the women out there, can I offer this comment based on what I have read in the blogs over the last month or so? Ladies you accuse us of being shallow and obviously know what we like if you read the blogs too, so if you are trying to attract us, why don't you give us what we ask for? I know that doesn't sound right but try to understand what I mean. If we like to see photos, why not post them instead of resisting then complaining that your profile doesn't get the desired result? If we say we don't like glamour shots, why do some of you still post them? We acuse RSVP of not listening to us but guess what, we don't listen to each other.

I certainly try my best to write my profile to appeal to women and have listened to comments made and even asked women I know for advice. (OK so I obviously haven't got it completely right yet or I wouldn't still be here, but I do try.) Just a thought.

Posted by: woodnwine at August 29, 2007 3:41 PM

Wraecca - sometimes I take a look at bloggers profiles. Have to say yours is fabulous - not flirting, just complimenting. Good luck.

Posted by: woodnwine at August 29, 2007 1:39 PM

whatididforlove - why not read a comic instead?

Posted by: woodnwine at August 29, 2007 11:54 AM

badhorsey9
your profile shows that you are a shallow man and acting like your some prize.what young girl in their right mind would want a guy thats more like her father than a protental partner. look in the mirror. your getting old

Posted by: at August 29, 2007 9:51 AM

I am shocked and a little diheartened by your absolute disrespect for people. Have you forgotten that people on this site, just like everyone else, have feelings, insecurities and in many cases are doing the best that they can.

Perhaps it is time that you both look in the mirror and whilst admiring how absolutely amazing that you both look remember that one day those looks will fade and all you will be left with are your personalities. From your comments, it would seem that they are lacking.

Posted by: at August 29, 2007 9:46 AM

@The Commenter who lamely commented "You critisise(sic) women for wanting someone taller"

No I didnt. You completely missed the point of my post. Do try and comprehend when reading, old Son. Failure to do so makes you look foolish.

Posted by: BadHorsey9 at August 29, 2007 1:43 AM

christina macdonald & getReal - Do we really need that kind of talk? Just because someone is not your type doesn't mean you should put them down. The real issue here is honesty vs deception not fat vs skinny. People have the right to choose to be how ever they want to be without being put down in that way.

Posted by: woodnwine at August 27, 2007 11:19 PM

lurker could well be lyingcheat but only as a decoy...think he is way smarter than that...lying cheat is a pretty good read though....

Posted by: whatididforlove at August 27, 2007 6:15 PM

christina macdonald

Ditto for the ladies . Us men are heartily sick of GROSSLY OVERWEIGHT women describing themselves as either 'average' or 'a bit overweight'. Get real gals, look in the mirror, lose weight. There's no way we will date any of them. Usually they just have a close head shot up, but you can even tell from that they are so fat.

Posted by: getReal at August 27, 2007 11:46 AM

BadHorsey9. You critisise women for wanting someone taller, yet you state you want a woman BMI 18 - 25. Talk about hypocritical. What if a nice gal contacts you and happens to have a BMI of 26? Is she out?

Posted by: The Commenter at August 27, 2007 10:41 AM

Methinks Lurker is lyingcheat

Posted by: at August 26, 2007 1:06 PM

Profile deal breaker - when I read a woman's profile and it says something like "I'm not sure I really have time for a relationship". Well, why don't you make up your mind or remove your profile and stop wasting our time. Next.

Posted by: woodnwine at August 26, 2007 10:56 AM

Thanks for the entertainment.

I would just like to put my view forward particularly on the photo thing. I have a photo on the sight however have it password protected. I was suprised to see that it is a little bit of a pet hate on here and I do see your point. However from my point of view. My photo is nice because I am pretty but I am also overweight. I find that when I have my photo visible I get huge numbers of kisses and emails from men who are simply attracted to a photo. That photo is of my head and shoulders, it also comes with a body and my looks don't represent who I am. I was trying to attract people to my witt and my honesty rather than my face.

However, shall spend part of the day working on my profile as I have taken lots of your comments on board.

Thanks, it is a shame that you need to kiss lots of frogs until you find your prince...lol

Posted by: at August 26, 2007 9:03 AM

I am heartily sick of GROSSLY OVERWEIGHT men describing themselves as either 'average' or 'a bit overweight'. Get real guys,look in the mirror, lose weight. There's no way I will date any of them.

Posted by: christina mcdonald at August 25, 2007 8:09 PM

I can't stand guys need to impressed your Tactics in getting woman attention to be attracted with you. Half of contacts guys emailing me, said common things mentioning their properties.
1)Their properties fully paid-off, is for sale and wanted to moved a nicer bigger house?,...
2) Waiting for Court Oder property settlement after divorce with dated specified. Looking for place to buy.
3) They save a lots of money and looking for a best location to build a mansion. as they are builders.
4) They inherited properties from their parents and don't know what to do?
5) Their properties is fully paid off and looking for investment properties.
6)They have 10 houses with tenant rented makes good income no need to work.
7)They are business man own a real estate shop and can deal best property in good location anywhere.
8) They own a properties interstate and overseas.
9) They have a house overlooking harbour water view and waiting for the tenant to move out, then moved in...
10) They are property developer.
I'm disturbed of their proposal...what they think of me stupid asian woman with no brain...yeah so I am I own the whole Philippines Island as well. Its amazing its like their itinerary. Why can't be honest, obviously showing your lack of confident and unrealistic. I would be nice to hear saying I'm paying my mortgage and struggling without equity yet. Perhaps I can give my remorse understanding and give second chance to fit into my shoes...This are over my head deal breaker.

Posted by: Aliane at August 25, 2007 1:11 PM

Profile dealbreakers -
Normally I don't look at profiles that don't have photos, not because I am shallow but simply because I don't have time to read thousands of profiles. Anyway, rainy day so I thought I would look at a few profiles without photos. So what is the deal ladies with profiles without photos AND no information. If you don't have a photo AND you don't tell me anything about yourself, what am I to form an opinion on? That you may look attractive to me? That you may have some common interests? Come on ladies - make a bit of an effort please.

Posted by: woodnwine at August 25, 2007 11:04 AM

I cant stand looking at a great photo, only to open up a profile and see the following -
Music - Nil
Sports - Nil
Hobbies - Nil
Other interests - Nil
Well, Obviously my potential friend, lover ,partner if thats how exciting your life is then I can see why you are single. I wouldn't care if you looked like Cameron Diaz - It just aint' happening.

Posted by: Addysdad at August 25, 2007 10:59 AM

Whether male or female, "A", makes no difference - that was a great blog and encapsulated things very well, I thought! I think it would make a wonderful ending blog for this mammoth one that looks like it's going to go forever.... (can't help myself popping in and having a read though!)

I loved your Aboriginal community story, too, TC - very evocative. I was right there in the desert with you....

...and ParCouer, enjoyed your blog too, and a great guffaw escaped my lips when I got to the part about your preference re size of penises. I wasn't quite expecting that! It gave me a laugh.

Posted by: Malsie at August 25, 2007 10:20 AM

Hm...as I reread my previous comments, I realise that I could have taken a breath and stepped back before posting - my mood may have been chipper, my words said with a humourous tone..but typing does not always convey that!

Same goes for profiles.

MJGoldcoast - I think your profile reads well, although I'd maybe change your tagline to start off on a positive note. I think you're being funny, but...I've had the benefit of reading more into you because of this blog; not all RSVP'ers know it exists.

Also, your age bracket is quite narrow. However, you're still in an age bracket where there seem to be more singles, so it should be ok. And..I still feel that the whole point of RSVP is that it allows us to put up a wish list in a way that we don't get out there in the 'real world'. For me, in the real world, I seem to attract 22 year olds (I'm 36) or married men in their 50's! I am leaning towards the 22 year old...does it help if I say he's mature for his age ;-)

Who I am attracted to 'in the flesh' may well not fit with what I have typed in my profile - but my profile is only intended to act as a guide and save people time. If I meet a guy 'out there' who is younger or older than the parameters I have set here, well..if there's a spark and I am attracted both physically and mentally; who cares about the age?

MJgoldcoast, I like that you have listed the types of nationalities you're attracted to. I did that but then found that men didn't seem to read it anyway so ended up putting it into my text...potentially sounding harsh but aiming to be honest.

I may yet change it to better reflect the traits I seek rather than the nationalities I tend to find them in. It can be tricky getting the balance right and this is why I ask friends their opinion, think it through some more myself and tweak it a little.

However, at the end of the day, we all have a limited word count to convey a message and hopefully we all keep this in mind and are kind to each other!

Sometimes I will say yes to a kiss despite them not matching my RSVP parameters - this is because they have put something on their profile that attracts me...a great photo full of life and energy, a funny comment or an insight I find appealing.

Other times I will stick to my limits because there is nothing there to make me think this could go anywhere. There is not that indefinable 'certain something' and so, because they also (for example) are older than I would prefer or less fit than I would like...I will politely decline.

Such is the nature of RSVP and me.

Posted by: Melbakimble at August 25, 2007 9:22 AM

What breaks it for me:

Inane headlines like: Affectionate and a fun loving man or Looking for that
Special Someone.

Photos: photos showing off pectorals or new "mid-life crisis" toys
(cars, bikes, jet-skis), action photos of surfing, rock-climbing, scuba diving
(where will you find time for me with this? Will I have to meet you half-way up
a cliff face?)
Ugly photos- is that really the first impression you want to give? Better
password protect and get more chance of people being interested in your wit

Profiles with: nothing (or thereabouts),
descriptions of ideal partners but nothing about them,
references to sex,
and drop-dead boring profiles with "I have a good sense
of humour" - translate as "I laugh at my own jokes"

Interests section: yes I can read, or just blanks

Oh and getting a response from someone who obviously has NOT read my profile –
I know I haven’t described an ideal partner, but I think if we’ve for
nothing in common and you can’t see my picture, why on earth would you be
interested in me??? I really wish that the “She is left wondering if you
actually read her profile?� response was not for RSViP members only!

Posted by: Comtessa at August 25, 2007 9:18 AM

Absolutely excellent post, A!

I agree that it is not personal. It did take me a while to realise that fact but since doing so I have saved myself a lot of soulsearching and self flagellation.

It's not me and it really is not them either. We are just not the right fit, so move on quickly. I got some advice early on to delete kisses etc. after replying to or sending them. Clear your inbox. That way you forget about them and, if you get replies, it's a nice treat. The other way you keep wondering if they will reply.

Works well for me. I no longer take any of it personally. After all, I am only looking for ONE person here and am patient enough to wait for them.

If it's going to happen(fate), we are making our way towards each other every day. I just hope I'm not too blinded by my own superficiality to recognise him when he comes along.

Posted by: Wishingandhoping at August 25, 2007 8:22 AM

I enjoyed reading your suggestions.. some of them resonated with me, giving me reason to chuckle. I am feeling slightly despondent at the moment. I have specified a few, not many, criteria on my profile but I tell you so far over 80% of contact I receive are from people who don't even come close to what I listed. And although I am happy to chat to all and make new cyberfriends, it is slightly depressing.. you wonder why you're on here, when you can't even meet people with whom you have something in common with. I mean it is rare that i will have much in common with someone 15 years older than me, which is why I set an age range. But then I suppose, delineating whether one suits one's one criteria is a subjective process. I mean, I may think I come close and the recepient of my kiss may scratch their head wondering why in the world I have contacted them!.. Like many of you, I am conscientious about replying and not hurting anyone's feelings.. so it's hard when people just throw a net out (by kissing everyone universally without any regard for that person's set profile criteria) in hope that one person may reply. It is slightly unfair, and it leaves the recepient feeling flat. So, the sum of all of the above is this: profiles are meant to be 'deal-makers'.. read them and, if you come close, chances are you'll close the deal. Ignore them and it'll definitely result in a deal-breaker!..
Fibi

Posted by: FiBi at August 25, 2007 2:48 AM

It would seem a lot of people posting on these blogs are ashamed to own up to their comments. If you think you have something REALLY worth saying, why wouldn't you sign your name to it? Just like if you are genuine on RSVP why would you not post a pic? (or are you really lurkers?)

Posted by: naudy at August 24, 2007 11:25 PM

First time on here, joined up tonight.
The blogs are great, a good useful read.
Its pretty scary when you have not been on a date since 1981.
We shall see.
Still haven't figured out how you contact people have sent out a kiss or 2 to see how it works.
any advice gratefully received
sidecarfred

Posted by: sidecarfred at August 24, 2007 10:57 PM

Deal Maker: You're an attractive looking male/female with a great photo. You're tall, intellegent, athletic, with intriguing *insert colour* eyes and a beautiful smile, you work in a fantastic/high paying profession, are adventurous, possess a wicked sense of humour, are honest, loyal, mature, open minded, well travelled, you love your family and pets/animals, own your own mansion and drive a luxury car, you have no physical/emotional/mental hiccups, you're single without kids and totally ready to commit to a long term and meaningful relationship. You're name is Mr Darcy or Ms Hawkins and you realise that I'm not perfect but
that's ok because you are perfect enough for us both.

Deal Breaker: You're ugly, not rich, you rent, you're too short or overweight, of the wrong ethnic background, you can't spell and your grammar sux, your profile is full of cliches, you listen to crappy music and watch boring movies, you're not even into sport and can't read/write properly or comprehend what I said in the "ideal partner" section of my profile, how dare you send me a kiss - I haven't even met you but I dislike you already and I won't dignify your pathetic attempt to find love on RSVP with a response, get lost you loser!!!

Posted by: deuce at August 24, 2007 8:59 PM

Good call A, we totally forget that we do not know the people that we are talking to and that it is not personal.

I have been known to really take offense and wonder what is is about me that isn't attracting the right people.

It wasn't until I was whining to a friend the other day that she said "what people do says more about them than it does about you".

Lets keep it in perspective.

Posted by: at August 24, 2007 4:18 PM

I have read your blogs with fascination, I had no idea that this was here.

At times I have laughed, given a little cheer of encouragement, thought that some were a little harsh and occasionally wanted to say "play nicely kids".

I think that it is important to remember that the people on line are strangers, they owe you nothing and you owe them nothing. You have not earned their respect and if you have given them yours then you are giving it away to freely.

We are all here for the same reason, to try other people on for size and to see if they fit. People have the right to like different things and to be a little brutal in trying to find it. If you are not going to be attracted to things and you know it then why waste your time. Sure there are plenty of people who end up with someone who they never thought they would, but really....this is the internet. Most of us are either attracted to a photo or a catch phrase, that is what makes us read the profile.

I believe that there is someone for everyone. Ladies, not everyone likes a size 10 or a blonde or people with kids, get over it. You discriminate just as much to others so that is life. I know for me a bad phone voice can be a breaker even if I really like the person in writing. This says absolutely nothing about a person but it is a flaw in my personality that it can turn me off.

It is not personal, I know that that is difficult to digest but if you are taking it personally you shouldn't. You are speaking to a stranger and they are telling you all the great things about them and putting their best foot forward. Of course there is a whole other side that may be untruthful or willing to hurt someone. Such is life.

On saying that I believe in treating people with respect and do the very best I can to ensure that I do. But I can't honestly say that I have responded to every kiss or have never stopped emailing without an explanation.

What is a make or breaker in a profile, I say each to their own. Yes we all like people to be able to spell, to have some degree of literacy and to be absolutely lovely, but face facts, not everyone has these traits.

Before all you lovely ladies write me off with the assumption that I am a male and full of cynicism, I am neither.

Good luck to each and every one of you!

Posted by: A at August 24, 2007 12:53 PM

indigo312
How can you make or break a deal, when you dont even know what is on offer?

The biggest single waste of time in rsvp is the stupidity with which the ideal partner section is completed.
What is going on in the minds of women when this is being filled out?

Seems to be that camp who think "these are the definite must haves I want & I will not accept anything less". Seems logical & most probably what that Cupid thingy uses to provide matches.

However, an emormous amount of women seem to put in what they would like their "dream" date to be (rolls eyes) which in fact has no relation to what they do actually accept! Why do you women do this? Us men are not interested in hearing your fantasies, we just want to know what you are really looking for!!

Cases in point - I am a few inches shorter than the average male. It is an uphill battle to find any suitable women who have my height in their ideal partner height range. Consequently I rarely send out kisses.

Lo and behold though, when I get kisses, invariably their ideal partner has a minimum height taller than me. If not that , then other criteria dont match.

Why do you women complain about not getting contact from decent men, when you pontentially are keeping them away by failing to be definite in what you really want? You are your own worst enemy!

Next time you whine about getting unsuitable kisses, bear in mind many guys are testing the waters because like me, they know your ideal partner criteria is often not set in stone. And I am saying For Gods Sake, do set it in stone! There is enough confusion already with net dating without this! And yes, Im sure the guys are doing the same silly thing, so dont accuse me of sexism.

Posted by: badHorsey9 at August 24, 2007 11:43 AM

Poor spelling is definitely a turn-off for me.

I'm only interested in women who show some brains. Rubbish english in a profile or initial description just makes someone look like an airhead. So anyone who writes as if they're using TXT MSG SPEEK I just pass over. Clearly some other guy would appreciate them more than I would.

Posted by: Korgmeister at August 23, 2007 11:43 PM

Haggisattack.. I really liked your idea of looking at the profiles.. I had a bit of a chuckle to myself imagining you doing it!! I agree with your MUST reasoning.. very cool ;-)

Posted by: SeraphSuzie at August 23, 2007 9:42 PM

This is great! Just wish I could figure out how to look up some of your profiles - obviously I have been oblivious to a whole other world with these blogs!

Hm, have to say though that although I agree with some comments warning us not to have an 'RSVP menu', I genuinely don't want to waste anyone's time. My own included. I appreciate honesty, I know I won't suit everyone and viva la difference!

So..I have chosen to update my profile and if I offend any men out there, well...I am sorry. However, I want someone who has the confidence to step-up anyway, so at least I have separated the men from the boys (so to speak).

In the past year, I have been off and on RSVP; choosing to hide my profile when I have been dating. I didn't want to drop the ball (so to speak) and to give myself, and my RSVP date, time to see where it would go.

The reason I have changed my profile to say I have a preference for European or American men is because I seem to have attracted some very 'ocker Aussie men'. These same men have told me very smugly that there is a man shortage in Sydney and proceed to act as if I should be grateful to be dating them even though they have let themselves go, lack manners and the abilty to dress nicely for a date and seem to only know how to treat a woman like one of their mates.

I think I'd rather get a pet.

If this sounds arrogant, I don't mean to be. It's just that I try to look as good as I can (some days are better than others) and appreciate effort. It shows self-respect and respect for one's date. Trust me, I do want a real person...I'm real too.

A profile with word limits can never do any of us justice. We all know that, we're grown ups right? (right?).

Having said that though...

If the words a man chooses show me something of an intelligent and articulate man who actually has a personality - then this goes a l-o-n-g way for me.

Monosyllabic men puzzle me given how few words we have anyway...if they can't even fill that, what sort of conversations will we have down the track?

Ah RSVP...we pin such high hopes on you. We're all looking for that spark but I am beginning to suspect that I need to get off the computer and get back out to the bars. To find the spark and then get to know them..rather than get to know them online and meet; only to find that all is not as it appeared and that, there is indeed, no spark anyway.

Still...I'm keeping my profile up, tweaking it based on lessons I learn and always hopeful and optimistic :-)

Posted by: Melbakimble at August 23, 2007 7:23 PM

illusion69

you are just an illusion.

Posted by: woodnwine at August 23, 2007 6:14 PM

Deal Breakers:
Guys that claim to be deep (are generally just shallow)
Guys who claim to be 10+ years younger than they are.
Anyone who says they have a GSOH - if this were the case, wouldn't we all be in stitches daily?
Photos - if your face is in the dark, that is just as bad as not posting one at all.
i dont want to see your car, your dog or you with your shirt off just yet.
And just because i am female and work in medical / healthcare, does not automatically make me a nurse.

Posted by: Anna at August 23, 2007 5:43 PM

Sorry Enigma, but mentioning having or enjoying sex in your profile or in the first couple of emails just shows what your priority is - a cheap (or free) lay. We all like sex but most women need a reason to have it (remember the wise Billy Crystal?) and nothing puts me, for one, off like a guy who mentions bedroom gymnastics too soon in the conversation. There are plenty of ladies around who are willing to provide but not on this site - RSVP is for dating. So - are you still single?!

Posted by: lurker2 (not rsvpname) at August 23, 2007 5:02 PM

Newbie Blogger...and loving reading all your comments/advice!
I have been quite specific in my "Ideal Match"in my comments...finding that maybe this turns alot of men away.I am trying to be honest and upfront...what do you think??I am happy for some profile feedback here. Indigo312

Posted by: Indigo312 at August 23, 2007 4:48 PM

There seem to be a lot of you that takes things very personally. Fact is that everyone is entitled to like or dislike what the want.

When you decide to put yourself out there with any sort of contact, it becomes all about the person you contact, not about you.

I agree with so many of you out there - read the profile first and know yourself. My thoughts are that so many people on RSVP cant separate reality from fantasy, and have unrealistic expectations of people they dont know.

Give honesty a go, you might just do a little better with that.

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at August 23, 2007 3:59 PM

Loved your blog ParCoeur, we are girls of the same heart I suspect...:~)
Cultural interpretation of what is decent & indecent...
I lived for many years on remote, traditional Aboriginal communities, way back in '91. I was confronted by a challenge to what I thought was appropriate behaviour in a predominantly European society.
It was the first remote community I encountered & the lines of communication were different to say the least.
After a time I established a lovely, friendly rapport with a traditional Anangu lady whom I worked with. She felt the same way.... and when she spoke to me she would place her hand directly on my breast. Intitially this was very confronting but I quickly realised the warmth & regard that was behind the gesture.
On another community, in my work environment, mothers would come in & breastfeed their babies, boobs coming out of the tight neckline of their tshirts. And baby would stop breastfeeding & mum would blithely continue her task oblivious to her breast out in full view. There is such a naturalness & ease with their breasts, it is considered a tool for survival, there is no sexual connotation to the breast, whereas the place between a woman's thighs was considered highly erotic & short skirts were actively discouraged for that reason.

I grew up in a multicultural household where views across the board were perhaps more expansive & at ease in relation to our bodies functioning than my Anglo-saxon peers..... we talked naturally of things & I suspect as a result there was less angst & inhibition...

Posted by: TrumansCat at August 23, 2007 3:48 PM

I have been reading with great interest some of the blogs over the last few days however this is the first time that I have felt compelled to join in.

I have often wondered what is it that men actually want because personally, I think that I am fantastic! I have met some men on here who have been not so great. But, I have also met some really great people who were simply not compatible with me.

I think that we are putting far to much importance on meeting that perfect someone on line. I have read the blogs, the good the bad and the ugly.

Have we all forgotten that dating is dating whether it is done in the real world or on line. If you meet someone out at club or at some type of function there is alway the possibility that that person is being dishonest, just wants sex or is simply not compatible with you.

If we could all walk out the front door and meet that perfect someone, then where is the fun in that.

As for profiles, lets remember, what you like isn't what everyone likes. Although you may not like what is written, someone else might.

I think that all you can do is treat people the way that you want to be treated. My guess is that a number of people who are unhappy with kisses or emails not being returned have at some point perhaps done that to someone else.

Anyway, happy dating!

Posted by: ab (not the rsvp name) at August 23, 2007 3:21 PM

Gday all,
I would be most interested in some feedback on my profile. Anyone interested in taking a look and giving me some constructive criticism?

RSVP name: MJgoldcoast

I'm assuming I'm doing something wrong due to how many girls I message vs. how few replies I get back. Now I honestly think I'm a pretty good catch... but how do you effectively appeal to the opposite sex in ones profile to get a few bites from all the nice girls out there?

Now I mustn't be too bad because the other day I got a lovely email back from a girl saying that my email to her was the best she had ever had out of 250 odd emails. She had just started going with a guy but wanted to let me know how great the email was! I must admit that actually restored my faith a little in this site and girls in general! :-) But that said I still can't help but think that my profile may be lacking something.

Tips & advice most welcome! :-)

Thanks
Michael.
P.S. Or will it all magically change when I get a good shot of me and my Harley on my profile? Ha Ha! (but that seems a bit shallow doesn't it lol)

Posted by: MJgoldcoast at August 23, 2007 1:35 PM

imanenigma, your comments about us single women, you have got to remember that us single ladies like to think we are princesses, to the man we are with but sometimes that s not the case. we get dumped by you lovely men out there to .we hurt just as much as men and sometimes its hard not to forget that men can be cruel at times .i dont count myself as a raging drop dead gorgeous female far from it but i would like to think that a man could find me attractive enough to have a coffee with and maybe be friends. good luck in your search and maybe ill check out your profile now

Posted by: dizblon at August 23, 2007 11:47 AM

Well it took me a while to get to the bottom but it was a blast all the way(and must get the shawshank redemption out on dvd again)

i wouldnt say it is a pet peeve but just reality that if you dont have a profile pic you are narrowing down those who search for you. it is poor to say that physical attraction is only a male priority- my experience seems a fair bit the opposite.

one of the frustrating things living in north qld is the amount of awesome girls in sydney and melbourne(ok we get the good weather and the reef).

I am someone who would happily travel to meet someone and i often think distance creates a healthy barrier(to stop you jumping into bed right away) and thus really get to know the other person. so dont be distant-phobic.

the other dilemna i face is that i have always looked older for my age. now this was great when i was 14 but the 20-30 yr old women i have rarely dated or found me appealing. Now probably too late but sometimes you do wonder what is would be likeas one part of my nature feels young,playful and relevant.

yet my level of conversation and experience (travel etc) means i can often relate to those much older. couple of the posts have critisize age differences but when,though 32, i look, talk and smell(?!) in my late 30's or even 40's- it is amusing to see women on here go "too young" yet in the real world it is generally them that I can only attract.

for all those in a similar time warp( being too young or old for their age) i have empathy and sympathy for you. there is no easy answer but hopefully being on here allows a wider bunch of people to see you than your normal lives.time will tell.

oh if i read that someone just reads the newspaper again i will scream

genuinejames

Posted by: genuinejames at August 23, 2007 8:59 AM

I've just changed my profile to help everyone save time - I fear some of you would say I have been 'ordering from a menu'.

I am an optimist and I can always see the good in other people...its just that I have found that the men I have been dating over the past year are all so 'blokey and Ozzie and ocker'. While I am an 'Aussie chick' myself, I still think I am versatile and I seek someone who can dress both up and down and act according to the social situation (not one size fits all, 'this is who I am', I'm so laid back I'm almost in a coma, this is how I dress to everything and if they don't like it so what).

So I thought to myself 'well, why not just come out and say it?'.

Alas, does this mean I have appeared down on men? Anti-Aussie? Potentially arrogant? I'm sorry, but I just don't want to waste your time.

Why not be up front? I guess because then I won't get any kisses.

So do I take it off? Appear to love all personality types? Appear to love a man who will turn up for a date looking a bit scruffy and in his 'good jeans' and a shirt? Who will never actually get around to saying 'I'd like to meet you' - instead I get Aussie guys who are vague and laid back, unable to actually suggest a day and place...so I have to ask myself on my own date (makes me wonder if I'll always have to be the one to take charge - how exhausting and unfeminine).

So...for now I will leave my profile as is. If it scares guys off, then perhaps that's for the best anyway.

I can always change it down the track and appear to love all men and fluffy bunny rabbits ;-)

Posted by: Melbakimble at August 23, 2007 7:27 AM

Could one of you ladies please read my profile and make any suggestions if you don't think it is inviting enough.Zed50

Posted by: Zed50 at August 23, 2007 3:11 AM

I have thoroughly enjoyed reading these blogs and having never posted a blog before, thought I might give it a go. I have always been honest in my profile, as I believe that it gets you absolutely nowhere to be anything else, especially if you, like me, genuinely want to meet somebody. Some of the comments I have agreed with, such as photos (or not posting a photo) in profiles, lying about marital status, bagging the heck out of an ex (men do this SOOOO much, I have experienced it personally on a number of unfortunate occasions) and yes, dare I say it at the risk of being attacked by fellow bloggers, the size of a man`s privates...lol. I have been quite disheartened by this site in the past, mainly because of dishonesty, sleezy expectations and liars, but I remain hopeful.. I take my profile down, and after a month or three, put it back up again, hoping to meet Mr Right ( and NO, not Mr Right Now !). I have never changed my nickname, I update photos when I need to, ( I do the best I can with my old webcam). I remain positive to the belief that I will meet a good man whom I can love and who will love me in return, because lets face it, thats what we are all here for isnt it?? Its all about being positive :-)

Posted by: gingerkels at August 23, 2007 1:28 AM

I don't get the 'living each day to the fullest' or 'Carpe Diem' comments.... Hasn't anyone just had a 'Me Day' where home delivery, Ugg boots and an old movie are the highest priority, closely followed by a kip in the afternoon? Or maybe designating a whole day to the Lord of the Rings trilogy...just because you can? All the people who sieze each day, and good luck to them, are going to be, mostly, siezing them alone. Your average guy ( I class myself as one of them) doesn't wish to be racing around at a thousand miles an hour on their day(s) off...that's what you go to work for. I know most people are looking for someone to challenge, stimulate and inspire them to greater heights, but advertising the fact you are permenantly 'on' is no deal maker for me. Good luck in your search everyone, and keep up the enjoyable reading

Posted by: kiltedman15 at August 23, 2007 1:24 AM

All interesting and very relevant comments but the clincher for me is the profile with no pic that lists average. Ladies average is average NOT overweight. Practice what you preach and desire honesty. Oh the latest trend of Mutton chasing lamb is quite funny too. Girls we aren't that desperate that we have to chase older women either.

Posted by: chucky at August 23, 2007 12:33 AM

imanenigma... You said what 99.99% of the rest of us guys are thinking. Whilst you could bet your bottom dollar guys spend 80-90% of the money on here, out of myself and the 7 male friends I've got on here who are great, smart, honest & handsome guys... we all do better in the real world than with the shallow whining idiots on here. All I can say is that I hope that there are still guys left whose opinions and values aren't defined by unbalanced women who spend more time expecting men to jump through unimportant and inconsequential 'hoops' than what THEY'VE actually got to offer the men who are worth it. Out of the many great, intelligent professional female friends I've got (who actually have lives), most of them prefer the friendships of men for a reason,- and that reason is that these women are able to see beyond the socially-conditioned garbage of their peers and the crud they carry on with.... Thats my 2 cents - the REAL question is whether people are going to be more offended about the fact that we have the nerve to say this stuff or the fact that its true.

Posted by: mistamusic78 at August 23, 2007 12:17 AM

Try this at home.. Tape a piece of paper over your monitor where the photos of people are so you cannot see them. Now read the profiles only until you come to one you really like...not just like - REALLY like. Uncover the photo.. SURPRISE! Not what you'd expected is it! Yes I've tried it both covering the photo and covering the profile. Unfortunately for most of us, the predominant method of selecting who to kiss or not seems to be the latter. The photo has to be a winner first then read the profile. What cruels profiles for me everytime is the use of the word MUST. eg MUST love dogs / cats /kids /horses / the sea etc etc etc. Must accept this or that. There is no "must" about it. If there is a MUST in your profile what do you think when you read it in someone elses???

Posted by: Haggisattack at August 22, 2007 11:24 PM

Photos that have someone elses arm drapped across the shoulder or a head on shoulder... Total turn off

Posted by: UnMeLetsC at August 22, 2007 10:46 PM

Love is a joke, Give up!!

Posted by: socialdistortion at August 22, 2007 10:43 PM

This is a curious unnatural place. I'm a sixty y/o looking in the age range 55-65.

I have my figurative "warts" and so does every woman whose profile I've viewed.

I've tried to be honest in my profile and list that I prefer beer to wine. So I get kisses from women who really yearn to visit the wine growing regions of OZ. Go figure!

I've had a stroke, but reasonably recovered as much as I will, so I'm expected to love bushwalking. A total nonsense!

In the end, though, I don't really believe that the bush is crawling with these energetic old boilers.

Perhaps there should be a facility to specify prerequisites as opposed to desires. The "Ideal" as opposed to the "acceptable."

Posted by: ezee at August 22, 2007 10:25 PM

well this is better than the profiles, thanks guys. And let's stop bagging each other, no one deserves it (well almost no one). Single people have guts and drive. Keep looking for what you want, and remember the old saying "There is one thing worse than being single, and that's wishing you were".

Posted by: blue roux at August 22, 2007 9:59 PM

It would be great if more men could give their views on these blogs. Whilst I agree with many of the ladies' comments we can get a bit carried away with the man-bashing. At least 'iamanenigma' is being honest ... which is something we all claim we want. RSVP is such a lottery really and a profile is just a classified ad ... you never know if you bought a lemon until you bring him home!

Posted by: liberaphoenix at August 22, 2007 9:38 PM

Dont normally do this, but cant resist. Got to laugh at some of the girls profiles on here. Tips ladies....
Do not apologise or expain an unflattering photo. Just put another one up ! Easy really.

Dont blame your friend/s for being here. Surely you make your own decisions ?

If you are 38/39 and specify no one over 40 should apply, that is simply rude and unrealistic. Sorry to break it to you, but guys your age, dont (typically) date girls your age! Hey, I didnt create this dating game, just trying to operate in it.

If a guy sends you a kiss...have the common courtesy and decency to reply. Even a NO is better than nothing. Surely your mum brought you up better than that ?

And in replying to a kiss, dont use the "doesnt match my profile" option if in fact it does ! You're either stupid or lieing. Just be honest !

If your highest education qualification is High School, please dont state "Professional". Last time i checked....

Do spend more than 5 minutes completing your profile. Your are trying to share a little about you. Nothing or short responses shows laziness or disinterest. So why are you here again ?

Maybe some definitions on Average/Athletic/Slim may be useful for some ?

I could go on. Oh somebody stop me....

Good luck all.
SDB

Posted by: anonomous at August 22, 2007 9:29 PM

I think the last few comments from rollercoaster and imanenigma are the only answers we need on all of these blogs. they succinctly capture why all the whining in here is rendundant.

these blogs are full of unthruths, misconceptions, self righteousness, and pblinkered philistine ignorance. You bloggers are no different ot the rest of RSVP.

Enjoy

Posted by: heyblogalugs at August 22, 2007 9:01 PM

chochoney76, my pleasure. I hope my comments were helpful. Take what's useful and ignore the rest.

Posted by: hikerbob at August 22, 2007 8:39 PM

girls, girls, girls give us a break.Still single? ever wonder why? With some of the old battleaxe,sarky, junk yard dog, single savage mum attitudes you have on hear.please. You hack on youth,beauty,slim and thats in your own kind! Men who may be attracted to slim, pretty, fit women,or enjoy having sex-how dare they! SOULMATE,PRINCESS, LOVE OF MY LIFE? They are just terms, call em what you like! The person(female) who bagged these wont ever have to worry about being put on a pedestal, at least not by this little black duck!!!Oh yeah, give me a lazy, un-healthy ,sarcastic,fridgid old cow ,over a warm, passionate,fit,youthful (state of mind) woman anyday- I THINK NOT! And to all the warm,friendly and charming ladies out there even if we are not suited/attracted to each other, im always happy to catch up for coffee,wine and yes even conversation (Because i can!) as I find SOME lady friends are good value. Goodluck in your search folks!

Posted by: imanenigma at August 22, 2007 6:30 PM

I wouldn't mind someone reading my profile and giving me some advice.

Posted by: illusion69 at August 22, 2007 5:12 PM

first time blogger long time reader-
Profiles are a lot like the life we live - I enjoy the cliches and innuendos on profiles I read - the only thing I try to do is not take it all to seriously. I have met women who look great in a darkened room of a party and a pub only to get them home and undressed to find a padded bra and platform shoes lying on the floor- and a completely different person to what I drunkenly expected, however by this stage it is to late, and having a grumpy face is just not going to cut it. As a rule I believe nothing I read anywhere-newspapers, bibles, scentific reports, I know that makes me sound like a po-mo mo-fu (postmodern mother firetrucker) - but hey it is all about context. As far as discriminating - we all do it - and have been doing it since we where born.
I have had a lot of knockbacks and may have not replied to Kiss and emails etc - to all those peoples I am sorry - but do not take it personally.
Despite not being very good looking and rudely shy - I have meet some great people through this medium and avoided others. Life is like a box of box of chocolates.

Posted by: rollercoaster at August 22, 2007 4:54 PM

Someone who comments in blogs that they dont like people being negativity in their profile, or if someone states what they want or dont want.

They obviously never learnt the word hypocracy.

Posted by: YourConscience at August 22, 2007 4:40 PM

thanks hikerbob (August 9, 2007 7:39 PM) for the comments on my profile and photos.

chochoney76

Posted by: chochoney76 at August 22, 2007 3:39 PM

The absolute deal breaker for me?
Men who talk about having sex in the first phone call or on the first date. We know you want it - no need to labour the point with innuendo, or, worse still, graphic descriptions. Generally women will let you know when (if?) they are ready. Talking about it, especially to someone you hardly know, is sleazy and completely unnecessary.

Posted by: geminiinthecity at August 22, 2007 3:17 PM

Dealbreaker - when you see a profile you like, think about it for a while, then it is gone. Dam!

Posted by: woodnwine at August 22, 2007 12:03 PM

I have gained a bit of insight as to how to respond to kisses from men I do not think I would have anything in common with. It seems 'not interested' is the way to go. I initially thought that particular response a bit too hard but on reflection perhaps not. It isn't as though one has met the man in person so it isn't really rejection of the person but rejection of the profile....
I have met several men through internet sites (not specifically this one) and in their own way each has had some qualities which I admire. Regarding men with beards....I rather like men with beards.....I was sent a kiss by one man whose profile I read...(yes I read the profile first!).. which was one of the best profiles I had read to that date. When I looked at his photo more carefully I noticed he had the startings of a beard. I was thrilled. When we met he had actually shaved the thing off (probably read some to the blogs). I asked him what happend to his beard and he asked what happened to my blond hair...now brown. We got on famously sans beard and blond hair so it is my experience that at the end of the day it doesn't really matter. One does have to have somewhere to start though. I must admit on the second meeting the beard was back..Hmm there is something about a beard on a man that is rather nice.
There is one comment made by one of my female counterparts which I thought was unnecessary. The small size of a man's penis being a deal breaker for heavens sake! Nothing to do with profile at all...

Posted by: gene5 at August 22, 2007 6:52 AM

Aquacat on the 16th...thumbs up.
My I add my own 2c worth?

- profiles with photos of person wearing sunglasses...the most defining feature of their face is still hidden. Time to shed that infantile "look at me, I'm cool" image.

- profiles which are grossly out of date. In own-words section they say...I'm 31. Details section says...32 years old. What else is out of date, I wonder? Another said...I'm excited about my upcoming 30th birthday bash...well...info said you already hit 30, honey. Keep up with times.

Stacks of fake and lazy people out there, hahaha

Posted by: QP at August 22, 2007 3:55 AM

Well,well,what a bun fight!..this blogs got everything!...religion(see superstition) drama, romance(well..maybe not), confusion and a sprinkling of dealmakers/deal breakers.Being new to RSVP im shocked to learn of multiple profiles, out dated photos(mines a shocker, but it is recent and it is me!) lowering ones age etc,etc. Silly me for being truthful about myself and my ideal partner. Bloggers commenting on age or looks-shallow? NO, HONEST-SORRY! I KNOW WHAT I LIKE THANK YOU VERY MUCH! and dont give a rats about what youre after in a partner.I dont need them to be a PROFESSIONAL,EXECUTIVE (why not put in a salary range!) I know its not the money, its the power! Yeah right! DEGREE,DIPLOMA ( A clue to ones intellect.....mmmm.maybe not) I am looking for a sweet petite, little princess to love,laugh and share life with.Just read my profile,thats me,thats what im looking for, give or take a bit. One more thing, I DO like walking on the beach,shawshank redemption,holding hands and showing affection in public etc some say this is common and boring? I say it means I am not the only truly romantic,passionate person with great taste in movies! EACH TO THEIR OWN,PEOPLE! We are all single AND different- thankfully. Please note- these are my opinions only, and they should now be your opinions too! Sorry,that was the cheeky aries in me! I hate it when he does that. Feel free to form your own opinions,even if they are wrong...OOPS!.....ARE WE ALL HAPPY NOW?......TOUGH CROWD.

Posted by: imanenigma at August 21, 2007 11:24 PM

Things that turn me off profiles are:

No picture - Ur on here mainly for the purpose to meet people, people who u want to accept you for who you are including what you look like so having no photo denies the whole purpose!.. I also think its important to have more than 1 photo also its nice to put a face to the person being described in the profile!

Spelling: some people's profiles look like they typed them while they were drunk!

Things that attract me are:

People who are honest in their profiles and u can tell that their personality is reflected out of it by the way they talk about themselves and what they describe that they like is really appealing.

People who write more than one sentence on their profile descriptions!

People with a nice photo that is clear and not fuzzy! where they are actually facing the camera and arent hidden behind sunglasses or a hat!

Posted by: nicegal84 at August 21, 2007 11:11 PM

Like a lot of people, I think it shows a lack of respect not to reply to somebody if you send them a kiss, but then I think it shows a enormous lack of class if you ask them to email you and then don't reply. I totally understand that after seeing someone's photo they may not be the person you expect but just a simple reply lets everyone know where you stand.

I have my photo password protected but that's only because I want people to read my profile before seeing my photo. I mention in my profile that I'm not the best looking guy in the world so hopefully there should be no shocks.

But what absolutely makes me laugh is when girls ask for my photo password and then reply back that they're seeing someone else after recieving your password....C'mon girls I know your lying! If you're seeing someone else what the hell are you still doing on RSVP two months later. I must admit I have a huge chuckle over it. It is a favour though because I don't have time for shallow people and that is the epitomy of shallowness in my eyes.

If you're honest, respectful and straight down the line then there should be no issues and in the end you may even find what you're looking for.

Anway, fellow RSVPers, good luck in your searches and I hope the person you find is everything you expected and wanted.

See Ya :-)

Posted by: tootallformyhair at August 21, 2007 9:31 PM

MsWynter..or should i just call you Patience? You just don't give up do you? I expected that sooner or later you would find something to pick on me about. Congrats!! But hey you asked a question and to answer you.. I look at the their opening line mostly.. and then I look at their opening paragraph.. If I don't like that I move on. Happy now? Have a lovely day Patience.. :-)

Posted by: SeraphSuzie at August 21, 2007 8:32 PM

Well this is the second time I've responded in support of Holygrailsearch in these blogs. I guess the majority of RSVPers are just not intelligent enough to understand the message she is trying to convey. It seems like it's a bit of the old "you don't know how much you don't know" scenario. Interesting (true) fact is that people with a lower intelligence think people with a higher intelligence are stupid, because they can't understand them. Could this be the reason that there is such a backlash going on here. All I see is someone that is astute and confident enough not to put up with all the garbage that a lot of us have been subjected to on RSVP. I've had just on 500 contacts and I doubt that any more than 10 of them actually read my profile. Am I to waste my time responding to the other 490 that can't get past what they (wrongly) perceive to be innuendo in the nickname and think they're in for sex?

Posted by: naudy at August 21, 2007 8:18 PM

Holygrailsearch, I too am an educated woman, I have studied Anthropology, Archaeology, and History, and have a Degree in English Literature. I also have a Graduate Diploma in Education. I am looking for a mature, responsible gentleman who wants to share his life with me.....and if he wants to take me to see the Crusty Demons of Dirt, I swear to God I would make him the HAPPIEST guy on earth!!!
Why does it matter about someone's bank balance? My dad was in the Army, didn't receive an enormous salary, couldn't save money well, but my mother met him, fell in love with him, and has been married to him for the past 30-odd years, even though she swore she'd NEVER marry a freckled red-head who was in the Army. They own their own house (well, are about $15,000 off owning it), have 3 beautiful daughters (I'm one, hehe), and 2 gorgeous grandsons with another grandchild on the way. It had nothing to do with my dad's job or bank balance. I want to find that for myself.
As for how many people a guy had contacted, dated and bedded, I'm not sure that anyone really has the right to demand that of anyone else. Sure, I'd like to know that he has practiced safe sex with all of his previous partners, and sure, I'd like to know that he's going to be monogamous to me, but I'm not about to question a guy about every single person that he has 'kissed', chatted to or emailed from RSVP. Nor would I expect him to do the same to me. I believe that a person's past shapes them into the person that they are now; sometimes we find it too difficult to accept that past, other times we embrace the person that it has shaped. It's how we want to be treated ourselves that will in turn determine how we treat others. Or, at least, that's what I've discovered in my life. And yes, I know that I am younger than you; however, that does not mean that I have not experienced life, nor does it mean that I don't know what I'm talking about due to my youth. Until you know me, and what I have experienced in my life, you cannot make that judgement.
Oh, and by the way, if you are going to attack someone else's grammar and syntax, you should realise that the word is 'gamut' to describe a range or variety, not 'gammit', and compliment has an 'i', not an 'e'.

SeraphSuzie....I LOVE YOU!!! Not in the literal sense, of course, but your outlook on life, and your pride about who you are, it all shines through. You are a beautiful person!!! And you are right about one thing; size doesn't always matter. As long as we are healthy, (reasonably) fit, and happy with who we are, and what shape we are, then we are whole. Yes, I am not a small person. Even if I lose a fair bit of weight, I will never be small. My body type and structure will never allow it. I would be stoked to be a size 16 again (at the moment swinging between sizes 18-20), but that is also due to the fact that I know I will be healthier at that size. I am working at losing that weight, but I am still happy with who I am. I am proud of the fact that I would have been worshipped as a Goddess a couple of hundred years ago with my body type, the same way that Paris Hilton (sorry, I know, dirty words), Kate Moss and Tyra Banks are idolised today with their bodies.
However, looks fade, bodies sag, it is the bright spark and bubbliness of our personalities that will last through the years. Sparkle on and burn brightly, beautiful Seraphin!!! Hehehe
And lastly, to chopperpilot. Again, such a shame you live in Melbourne and I don't. I think we could have had heaps of fun together, platonic or not. Oh well.
To everyone else, happy hunting :)

Posted by: Wraecca at August 21, 2007 7:12 PM

Woodnwine re your post of 16th August......uncork a bottle pet and l will get my glass. Nothing wrong with a glass of wine except of course if you do not drink, and plenty don't.

I myself know what sort of wine l like and that can depend on lots of things....
The weather for a start, what l am eating, whether it be nibblies or a meal, sometimes a red appeals sometimes a white, and often l like a glass of bubbles as a starter. Nice Australian one is Clover Hill Pinot Noir Chardonnay from Tasmania, Best l have tried was Piper Hiedseck Red, very full of fizz!!!!
It really depends on what you like as an individual, and l for one am with you woodnwine....nuthin wrong with the grape.....
Happy day.....k

Posted by: auntykaz at August 21, 2007 6:45 PM

yes Neoteric Angel, I agree! Im not a blogger generally (or ever) but sometimes I think the profile is at best a filter and have of late kept things really minimal (after some pretty esoteric attempts) and gone into detail via email where I think I feel better at expressing myself. If we are honest I suggest the only deal breaker is the photo!..regardless this should be a fun and light alternative to face to face chatups or introductions..enjoy and dont stress.

Posted by: modern63 at August 21, 2007 6:00 PM

id better get off here having to much fun reading the blogs.from now on if you see me on line its not that im browsing profiles im actually reading blogs. finding the latter more interesting:)

Posted by: allurscomeandgetme at August 21, 2007 5:53 PM

I found the most irritating thing on here was the negativity factor within a person's profile, seemingly as a result of bad past experiences. Another one was females asking for men over 6ft tall, where they might be only 5'6" themselves! What is that all about??!! Thats like me insisting that a girl must have a certain breast size! Anyway, have faith people, because I met the girl of my dreams on here, and she virtually said NOTHING in her profile, and her photo was fairly ordinary as well. But in person she was absolutley drop dead gorgeous, with a beautiful personality to match. It just proves the point, that you could not ever realise the true essence of a person from a photo and a written profile, no matter how good it reads/ looks.

Posted by: cpl593h at August 21, 2007 4:36 PM

i get turned off by profiles who say they like giving and receiving massage like someone cheeky and naughty yuck... sorry ..to me that means they just out for sex nothing else.dont message me

Posted by: allurscomeandgetme at August 21, 2007 4:06 PM

illusion69 at August 20...

You say you are not going to stress yourself out worrying about your profile, that it is about you & you are not going to pretty it up- you are looking for honesty...

Prettying it up doesn't have to mean being dishonest- it's making the most of a severely restricted opportunity to catch the eye of the person you're seeking...

On rsvp your profile IS you...

If you hope to find the love of your life on this site, it's worth putting in some effort to ensure it's interesting enough to catch his/her attention. It's hard enough to find those special people as it is, without them skipping over your profile because it's ordinary...

love&letsgetcreative
decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at August 21, 2007 1:46 PM

I admit that the worst profiles are the ones that list what they expections they are looking for and after reading their profiles carefully before sending a kiss to see that I meet those expectations the reply is "your profile does not match his/her ideal partner profile. "
At least be honest when you write your profiles, if you have expectations, list them, don't waste everyone's time. The idea of listing these is that a two way search can be performed.

Posted by: Nova at August 21, 2007 12:43 PM

If i read every blog here, took the words to heart. I would have the most confused profile. Lol. I am sure that one day i will find the love of my life. I am not going to stress myself out worrying about my profile. It is about me. I am not going to pretty it up. Being honest is my biggest like in someone.

Posted by: illusion69 at August 20, 2007 3:10 PM

Deal Breakers...
Guys who tell u they are 'hot' (I can make up my own mind- I have one- one woman's hot is another woman's not); list 'libidinous' as a 'must' under their Ideal Parner (ie. will expect sex at any time); profiles that state "don't send a kiss if you don't have a photo up"... when they don't have one up themselves (idiots); profiles with nothing filled in under interests (have none? lazy?); profiles which use "must be" a lot in their ideal partner description (control freak).

Deal Maker...
A combination of great photo (has bothered to get one) & a profile that's informative, original & makes me laugh.

love&let'sbfussy- we are worth it...
decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at August 20, 2007 2:20 PM

SeraphSuzie - I agree, if you don't like a profile don't read it. I also agree there could be better topics to talk about but didn't agree on your suggestions as I just don't think they would work here on a dating site. Good point though.

Posted by: woodnwine at August 19, 2007 10:14 PM

PHil2007..there are many ways to check out a profile wthout the profile owner being aware.
Just because you have your spy browser enabled doesn't meant the other person has theirs on.
It is also possible to check out your profile before signing in to RSVP in which case you wont know.
And there is the possibility thatsomeone could even have two profiles.
I had a secret look at your profile and it is not your photo(although I bet that doesn't do you justice, you are nice looking) it is your words which in my opinion would cause a lot of women to run away. Firstly you are so negative about yourself and obviously don't think much of yourself. If you don't then no one else will. The poetry is too much....and the content of the poem shouts needy and clingy and hard work...

Chopper Pilot profile ..could be a second language thing, but you do sound a little harsh or arrogant in your profile requests, although I understand what you mean by contact first before email. I was surprised to read that you are a gentle person...not because of the tattoo and dirtbike singer stereotype but because of the bluntness of some of your directives.....presuming that you are not a gospel singer???? I think that even if MsRight read your profile she might not make contact because of the "are you sure you measure up" vibe

SeraphSuzie..if you don't like a profile, don't read it? well, we know how much you don't like to read...but I wonder how it is that you know which ones that you won't like and therefore won't read?

Posted by: MsWynter at August 19, 2007 2:35 PM

Hi Trumanscat....Thanks, you make my day laugh on, your lovely amusing.... you said like men facial hair particular ...GOATEE....!.. (yeah right!)....just make sure if he eats crispy bread....those bread crumbs not hanging all over his Goatee !..... I could imagine how does it look like!...

Posted by: alaine at August 19, 2007 1:31 PM

Parcoeur.......as your comments not interested in financial and job status of men? I dont think so, we lived in millennium era of new society. Materialism is taken the biggest part in our fast moving economy, I'm not persuaded in your preferences evaluation. But if your lifestyle is far beyond successful career woman I pretty sure...you wouldn't look for a partner a Male Pauper right?....I don't mean looking a partner by material things but it counted as one listed agenda of finding a partner, be Practical and Realistic. At least be someone close enough, have enough because making comparison of accomplishment and achievement is big impact of both people..... Another things is, it was indecent to question and mention about.... male genital.... as this is your own personal ultimate appraisal it would cause your personal details to the male world. I'm sorry if I am upfront and blunt.

Posted by: Aliane at August 19, 2007 12:51 PM

I have just read through these blogs and found myself nodding and laughing. It has been quite cathartic to see that I am not alone in my RSVP experience. I also found it interesting that once I felt I could relate to another person via their blogs, that what they have written on their profile or how they look became less important. Perhaps it is because they seemed more real, more 3 dimensional rather than a few lines and a pic...

Posted by: NeotericAngel at August 19, 2007 11:44 AM

Hi Holygrailsearch.....I just drop-by to your profile and I was intrigued by the comments of ....Parcouer....and I read your blogs its quite different resemblance to your profile as using a lots of abbreviation, shortcut, and text format messages as you mention have PhD in Psychology and Sociology. It was irony refection unless you are using reverse psychology. Then for sure I will understand, but its not appealing to attract guys to your prerequisite other than knowing you in person. Vast majority here are educated but although we are all different mental capacity in understanding and concept. Finding a partner internet site is complex, we are more relied what's people written or anyone can write exquisite profile but the person itself is far different in real life.... I just only curious from our fellow bloggers comments on our profile. I do have few units taken in sociology and psychology as I am unfortunately, frustrated to become a doctor for some reason but now I end up my career in Management, Marketing and Finance.....Please don't be offended I dont mean any harm but I'm just curious from fellow bloggers comments. I think it would be helpful comment