RSVP Blog

Blog now closed; thank you for your comments!

Posted by: RSVP at June 26, 2007 10:05 AM

I would not make a decision on whether a guy is a potential relationship based on the music he listens to.
However, there does have to be a deep appreciation & passion for music.
In a previous relationship, music tastes were worlds apart, as was the food preference, it's part of the glue of a relationship.

Posted by: TrumansCat at May 27, 2007 1:05 PM

I think sending music is a not a great idea for purely practical reasons. The download/upload time bandwidth required. I don't log onto RSVP to listen to music there are other sites for this purpose. I love music and a partners music taste is very important to me, some idea of music taste is already in a profile and i think thats an adequate start.

Posted by: justjump68 at May 22, 2007 10:49 PM

I agree with the "Nos". I only sit & read the Blogs when I feel I need to sit down for five minutes. I adore good music. As for ordinary dance music...No thanks. The top Dance Bands are from a different era, and worth dancing to. Sending music is like pre-judging someone else & their taste for it.
It is not a good idea; definitely weird.

Posted by: melody10 at May 21, 2007 9:56 PM

I can just imagine the clichedness of it - because my profile says I have brown eyes - so many guys would be unoriginal and send me "Brown-eyed Girl," a song I can't stand.

Though female, I chose Mendelssohn as my profile name because, firstly, Chopin (my favourite composer) was taken, and secondly, I thought it might help weed out some of the riff-raff - didn't work. There are guys out there who've never heard of Mendelssohn and actually think it's my surname - as if a girl would be so stupid as to put her real name on a dating website.

Sending songs wouldn't work for me because although I love Mendelssohn's music - I've got most of it on cd - would get sick of men sending me classical music or songs of their liking that I would invariably hate.

Posted by: Mendelssohn at May 19, 2007 3:33 PM

I am not interested in sending a song to anyone, and it wouldn't help to sway my opinion about a profile if I were to receive one. I think it is a bit weird actually. What is the point?? It seems like a money making exercise on behalf of RSVP if you ask me.

Posted by: SJH at May 14, 2007 12:29 AM

Absolutely, it is the first thing I look at in a guy's profile because it is so important to me. I just love it intensely and cannot be with someone who doesn't have the same tastes in music as me, which is classical, opera, jazz, it's all wonderful. It affects me emotionally, just transports you to another place and of course can affect you physically so is it an aphrodisiac? Yes, yes, YES!

Posted by: Alison at May 12, 2007 11:28 PM

I beleive our personalities cause us to gravitate to certain types of music so yes I think you can tell a lot about a person by their musical tastes but I think you need to know psychology to make a fair assesment lol.

Posted by: Anthony at May 11, 2007 8:52 PM

i live and breathe music... an aphrodisiac yes an emotional release yes a reason for being... definently! music has shaped the way people think for as long as i can remember. i am a musician i use music to release tension and stress to express my feelings or mood and to vent my anger and frustration.you can manipulate people through music yes but you cant make them understand! my ex sang along to songs(rather badly) but didnt hear what they were saying then he would turn to me after i had sung the same song with a lot more feeling and have tears in his eyes... even something as silly and random as britneys everytime... he heard it but never heard it! i realised today how much i missed being in a relationship when i heard a familar song on the radio, music has a way of reminding you of good and bad times but also making you realise that there is something better out there!!!

Posted by: felicity at May 10, 2007 11:41 PM

Being a muso and song writer, I have sat by a fire with a guitar and lulled ladies with music. It states how and why you feel the way you do. To me, it's part of the politics of love.

Posted by: Phillby1 at May 10, 2007 6:10 PM

unless you're in love with your partner nothing is an aphrodisiac and that includes music.

rouba

Posted by: christina at May 9, 2007 8:35 AM

Music to me is like breathing. I couldn't live without it. Romantically speaking it sets the scene and what music a person plays tells a lot about them.

My ex used to accuse me of trying to manipulate his emotions, after a fight, with music. And he was right, I did! It didn't help me though because he stubbornly refused to be moved by the song. His loss!

Posted by: claretjewel at May 8, 2007 4:45 PM

Music is just like anything else about a date; it's not going to get anyone ripping off their clothes for you if they're not into you but it can help you get closer. (If I'm wrong, please demonstrate for me.)

When I'm looking through profiles I pay some attention to music, it can help build a picture of them, not just what they listen to but their attitude as well. I don't insist they like the same things as I do but listing music that makes me convulse and tear my ears off is probably a bad sign.

And if I were to send a song to a someone I'm interested in? It would be something I thought they wouldn't have heard before so it's interesting, would hopefully like based on their tastes and is definitely not gushy. "Feeling Good" by Muse, "Such Great Heights" cover by Ben Folds, "In the cold, cold, night" by The White Stripes. Or something raunchy-but-fun by Electric Six if I'm feeling cheeky.

This probably makes me a music snob, but oh well.

Posted by: Notgareth at May 6, 2007 11:58 PM

Awwh some makeout music?
How about Ray Lamontagne, followed by Iron & Wine, then up the ante (so to speak!) with some funky flute music by Gil Scott Heron.
Those on ere' that mention the word 'eclectic' usually ain't so eclectic....'specially when they drop the names Jack Johnson and Pete Murray on their profiles...ewwh!

Posted by: Brizzla at May 6, 2007 8:13 PM

As powerful as it is in theatres, music definitely sets the mood. When Im feeling passionate and would like my baby to go with the flow, I usually put the Sade collection on. If I'm feeling playful & would like to perform a dance for my partner, "Drop it Like Its Hot" would make my baby shiver on his seat well, you get the picture. I suppose like someone said it has to be personal and situational it has to fit on what message or vibe (rhythm) you're trying to send. Some people get off on punk rock or on Red Hot Chilli Peppers, some on Sinatra, I love Portishead's "Glorybox" when I'm in my therapeutic bath so it's all of personal taste.

Posted by: Hotcocoa15 at May 6, 2007 6:28 PM

Music sets the scene and often helps some people express their feelings through the words of poetry set to music. A song is like a picture. It's worth a thousand words.

I don't specifically look at what people list as their music likes on their profiles, because if I don't particularly like it, there's always headphones. And the same goes for me. If you don't like my music choices, I'll pop on the headphones. We aren't all going to like the same thing. Respect that and find ways to enjoy what you do without pushing it on to soemone else.

Posted by: justmoihere at May 5, 2007 8:40 AM

Music has the power to evoke emotion, both positive and negative. Whilst I am not a opera fan per se - in the right context, ie attractive man who has a clean and tastefully decorated home, a glass of champagne, candles lit in the bedroom, freshly washed Egyptian cotton sheets who then puts on some romantic opera music in the background, like Il Divo - well what can I say but I am putty in their hands...sigh where are those guys?

Posted by: SoulReward at May 4, 2007 10:51 PM

Music hmmmm love it.
The lyrics to the song can remind us of so many situations we have been in, or people whom we love or hate.
Good times , bad times, times we wish we could revisit, reminising.
Then there are the raw pure sexy songs mmm .Think of "Loosin up my Buttons' or 'You can keep your hat on!' If you are with a special person then YES, YES , YES! Music can be an aphrodisiac.

Posted by: PR at May 4, 2007 8:04 PM

If I'm in a romantic mood I play Josh Groban "Alajate"
Floats my boat! Hopefully my partner too!

Posted by: Cliff Fisher at May 4, 2007 2:52 PM

Yes music is aphrodisiac, you remember your first kiss, dance and your first night of sex by the song that was playing. Even after 28yrs I remember the first song I had sex to Devil Gate Drive.

Posted by: justcruising46 at May 4, 2007 2:37 PM

To me without music life would be hard. So if i found someone with the same taste things could be great. Did any one see pink i have new found respect for her as she was great live.

Posted by: dj-matty at May 4, 2007 12:37 PM

Music is the essence of our soul........
All music has its beauty, its place but a match in music tastes is a match in heaven!!!! ;)

Posted by: Theresa at May 3, 2007 10:00 PM

The first thing I look for on a profile is musical inclinations. If I spot a Michael Buble or Beyonce, I'm moving on. I live,eat,breathe, need music. Tonight I sat on the front verandah and listen to Arizona by Kings of Leon followed by Cowboy Song, Thin Lizzy with a glass of wine. Bliss after a long day.

Posted by: Suzie at May 3, 2007 8:56 PM

Music is not essential to seduction but it helps. It is an accompliment like wine and food.

When your dancing to some good tunes it allows you to express your feelings through physical ways that words can't really convey.

I find some awesome, what I term 'relax' tunes, ie Blue Sky - Ryan Adams, Bobby Malone Moves Home - Casiotone For The Painfully Alone, Vapour Trail - Ride, Let's Stay Together - Al Green, Misread - Kings Of Convenience and The Great Gig In The Sky - Pink Floyd amongst others, can really set the mood for everyday life situations, complemented by a range of iPod playlists.

However it's all a matter of personal taste, and it may just be working for me, although I have had evidence to the contrary.

Posted by: jules at May 3, 2007 2:20 PM

I think music is as romantic as you can get because not only can the words have a deep and meaningful meaning but the music itself sets the mood.

Posted by: Somerton at May 3, 2007 10:33 AM

I look at a person's music likes in the same way as their other personal preferences. It's amazing how tunnel-visioned some people are...but that's their choice. As for me, I'm an old(er) girl who's been into the heavy stuff since I was a teenager, starting with Led Zep, Deep Purple, Blackmore's Rainbow etc. Still love the blues and rock but have discovered Disturbed thanks to my 13 yr old son. The lyrics are a bit much sometimes but the music and beat are brilliant. Still cant get my head around the mindless, repetitiveness of dance/techno 'music' but it has it's place like everything else. C & W is just too woeful I'm afraid. I think it would be amazing to be able to inspire someone enough to write a song like Eric Clapton's 'You Look Wonderful Tonight'. Mine would more likely be Queen's 'Fat Bottomed Girls' but hey..I'd be immortalised :)

Posted by: esse at May 3, 2007 6:46 AM

Music is the food of love, its been divided up into many categories for so long now. The most part I love aggressive (And aggressive doesn't always fall into the HATE category either) but I believe there is vary powerful music out there designed to stimulate the mind into various, yet direct emotions. Love being a very powerful emotion, sometimes considered a "RAW" emotion, deserves a somewhat unique and very powerful and intense score.

Posted by: Loudy at May 2, 2007 6:43 PM

Is music an aphrodisiac -it depends on a person's musical taste and whether they are in the mood.
Speaking in general terms believe most ladies would respond to Hunter&Collectors "Throw your arms around me" and Paul Kelly's stuff like "Randwick Bells"& "Beggar on the Street of Love" as well as Carole King's " I feel the earth move", Dylan's "If not for you" and Dicky Betts' (AllmanBros)"Blue Sky".
Cynics would probably enjoy Tina T's "What's love got to do with it" and LivingColor's "Love rears its ugly head".

Posted by: cyberbloke at May 2, 2007 5:24 PM

I have to agree wholeheartedly with Jon (who posted this morning at 8.48am). Being a musician myself, I find that music is hugely influential on me both as a selector and as an everyday being.
Also, I ask the same question too, Jon. What's the big issue with metal, ladies? Sure, I can understand why so many of you cannot tolerate the gutteral growls of a death metal vocalist etc., but if you look a little deeper, you'll find that there are so many rich veins of melodic, listenable music in that genre.
Finally, another 100% agreement with Jon. R n' B is a total copout in terms of its direct definition. Rhythm and Blues does NOT constitute a large portion of the modern evolution of blended rap and hip-hop that now defines itself as R n' B. The real definition of R n' B is more appropriate a definition of that musical treasure trove founded by artists like Bo Diddley, Lightnin' Hopkins and a vast array of talented Afro-American musos from the 40s, 50s and 60s. Bo Diddley even says so himself that he is an original founding member of this genre, and that at stack of the current R n' B wannabe labelers are simply not deserved of that title.
Oi Jon - any good gigs coming up over your way? Let me know, coz I'm gettin sick of the sound of bellowing cattle here on the farm..................

Posted by: Pimsweetch at May 2, 2007 2:40 PM

I would like to comment on the issue if music is the food of love.
For me personnally i am very fussy on the music i listen to and what my Girlfriend would listen to aswell, because for one thing i'm a musician i play drums and guitar so i like to go and see live bands and not Night clubs that play dance music i cant stand computer generated music eg dance music rnb wrap so anyway i could go on forever about it.

So i'll try and get to the point here.
I am trying to look for a girlfriend on the rsvp website that likes the same taste of music that i like or similar eg 70'S 80'S HARDROCK/METAL which at the moment trying to find that profile is very hard cos most of the women on the site are into dance music so if she was into dance music like rnb or wrap i wouldnt get along with her at all, i cant comprise with my music tastes being a musician unfortunately.
I guess at the end of the day it just depends on the individual and the way each of us think.

Posted by: Ben Dunk at May 2, 2007 12:26 PM

Music plays a very large part in my selection process...being a musician. A wide range of tastes is a must. I'm amazed at the amount of women who make a point of their dislike for heavy metal. I love some metal, but I also love some folk and some pop, for example. Just because I like metal doesn't mean I'm going to forcefeed it to anyone. Have an open mind. In saying that though, if you list R'n'B (modern day rubbish as opposed to Janis or Ray) then you've got buckleys!

Posted by: Jon at May 2, 2007 8:48 AM

Rattling off your music tastes is a bit like saying whose books you read, which arty movies you've watched and where you've travelled- abit of one upmanship really. Each one's music taste is their own and apprecaition of it is aprt of the deal, though if one more person uses the word eclectic I'll scream! Though, I can in some imagine the person from the music they enjoy.

Posted by: StretcherBearer at May 2, 2007 7:45 AM

Love 'Black' (Pearl Jam) a true love song, though a little sombre!

Posted by: Bronny at May 2, 2007 2:37 AM

Downloaded from http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/195300.html :

If music be the food of love, play on

Orsino is asking for more music because he is frustrated in his courtship of Countess Olivia. He muses that an excess of music might cure his obsession with love, in the way that eating too much remove's one's appetite for food.

Music plays an important part in Shakespeare's plays and is often used to carry the plot. It's reasonable to surmise that he did believe it the be 'the food of love'.

From http://www.enotes.com/shakespeare-quotes/music-food-love-play :

In the opening scene of the first Act of Twelfth Night, we meet Orsino, and learn at once that he is a hopeless romantic. He is in love with love, and melancholy from the mere thought of it; and here he muses on love while musicians play around him in his castle. Orsino, Duke (and ruler) of the romantic kingdom of Illyria, is in love with Countess Olivia, who loves him not. She has rejected him over and over again in her determination to mourn the death of her brother. It might be said that, while Orsino is in love with love, Olivia is in love with grief.

From Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, 1601:

DUKE ORSINO:
If music be the food of love, play on;
Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
That strain again! it had a dying fall:
O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound,
That breathes upon a bank of violets,
Stealing and giving odour! Enough; no more:
'Tis not so sweet now as it was before.
O spirit of love! how quick and fresh art thou,
That, notwithstanding thy capacity
Receiveth as the sea, nought enters there,
Of what validity and pitch soe'er,
But falls into abatement and low price,
Even in a minute: so full of shapes is fancy
That it alone is high fantastical.

IF SOMEONE SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH A SONG ATTACHED OF COURSE I WOULD BLOODY RESPOND TO THEM. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE MUSIC - CONTEMPORARY, CLASSICAL, ANY GENRE IS FINE.....USING A SONG TO COMMUNICATE LOVE/DESIRE/HOPE/YEARNING IS A VERY ROMANTIC IDEA.....WISH IT ALL DIDN'T HAVE TO COST SO MUCH MONEY (WISH I HAD SOME MONEY!), BUT SURE, THEN THE COCKLES OF ME 'ART WOULD NOT BE WARMED BY THOUGHTS OF SWEET CHARITY; MORE MONEY FOR RSVP.....HOW SPLENDID.

Posted by: QuietlyDream at May 1, 2007 11:05 PM

awww, I like the occasionaly opera diva and country gals. (acutally met an opera diva off rsvp.. sigh she could sing and some, it opened my eyes).

What really floats my boat is having music that gives us something to share and talk about. Sometimes a silly teeny boppy song can be just the thing needed to get us both in the right mood.

Posted by: guynextdoorinbris at May 1, 2007 9:53 PM

Music is definitely an aphrodisiac. The right song at the right time. Mmmm. Music tastes make a bit of a difference. Depends how extreme the taste is. If I could send a song it would be Inside Out by Brian Adams. I recall getting close to my as yet unkissed date. (we liked to call each other 'special') At the moment he leant toward me, Special by Better than Ezra came on the radio. Need more be said??

Posted by: Jaique at May 1, 2007 7:55 PM

Music is definitely an aphrodisiac. No seduction scene would be complete without it! Music has the ability to set a mood and like a whiff of a long ago used perfume it can trigger intense emotion and memories.
I don't judge a person by their musical tastes so much as ask myself if I could live with the sound. The following are not an Aphrodisiac in any way to me let's be clear
.Gangsta Rap..probably not
50 Hit Polka accordian classics...no
Organ music--- nuh!
Irish Rovers singin Roving Roving Roving from their hit album Non stop hit party Rovin Music...doubtful
Danny Boy (Turn it off Dad!)
Nephews first Violin Concert aged 5...shudder!
Same a few years later....aaaaagh!

I would like a partner to enjoy some of the music I like .
I would never, ever send a song to an unknown email recipient...too tacky.
Any special song or piece of music I chose for a partner would have to have some real meaning behind it....and that would sometime after we met!

If I received a song I would hate it...a bit too much.

Posted by: patience at May 1, 2007 7:03 PM

Music plays a big role in that incidental part of my life. My tastes and my partners have to be similar, so opera divas and country gals are both OUT. Believe me, Pink Floyd IS classical music! Yes it is nice to pick the music for the occasion, but how often do you remember those special moments when you hear the song of the moment on the radio?

Posted by: Marty at May 1, 2007 4:27 PM