RSVP Blog

Blog now closed; thank you for your comments!

Posted by: rsvpproducttest at November 27, 2007 8:51 AM

I'm still waiting to be contacted by younger women so I can comment with some authority about dating through the ages. The youngest woman I have dated has been about 8 years younger than me and that age difference caused no problems at all.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 26, 2007 9:17 AM

ornamentalonly, life is what you make of it. It is too short to wallow around in loneliness, hearbreak and apathy.

Posted by: jpkool at November 25, 2007 8:56 PM

Personally, I find the posting by notgodsgift at November 21, 2007 10:10 AM, to be quite humorous.

It's just like the good old Aussi style of having a laugh at oneself first as well as sometimes, not taking a subject too seriously.

However, it still doesn't stop there being a valid point amongst it all, despite any self-effacement or wry humour.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 25, 2007 11:48 AM

ninaschen: We Brisso's may still be recovering from the night before....

Posted by: hiddencharms at November 24, 2007 3:02 PM

ninaschen: If you ever feel the need for (b)witch lessons, get in touch...I'm told I can be quite good...

Posted by: hiddencharms at November 24, 2007 3:01 PM

Very true, HiddenCharms. It is amazing how uplifting it has been for me to meet the bunch of bloggers that I did, at the Melbourne lunch the other month. We have formed great friendships, communicate frequently, offer each other sage advice (I have asked them to give me bitch lessons – I can feel the inner-bitch emerging as I write!) and keep each other buoyed. Their senses of humour are wicked. Sometimes I laugh so much I ache! I feel so much less isolated now and barely wallow at all, these days. Pity you are so far away, it would be great if you could come to lunch with us all on the 1st December (that was also a little reminder to anyone else who wants to come - email me and I will give you the venue details).

Posted by: ninaschen at November 24, 2007 2:32 PM

notgodsgift: I agree with decoratress. No-one wants to wallow around in loneliness, heartbreak and apathy. Sure, have a whinge, vent, get it off youff your chest, share it with others...then move on...someone may have something to say that helps you...or just letting it out can help overcome some of that loneliness and bitterness you may be feeling...

Most of the time I find the blogs a lively place to tune into...being able to chat with others overcomes ome of that "aloneness" (not despair or desperation)...and many bloggers have made great penpals and personal friendships through the blogs. You know - like minds and interests, company, conversation etc, that fill up your life instead of wallowing around being worried about being single and lonely and apathetic...

Posted by: hiddencharms at November 24, 2007 12:24 PM

I think advice is usually only heard when it is asked for, because we ask someone we think will have a useful answer and so we pay attention to what they say. I think notgodsgift might be referring to the general handing-out of advice to specific bloggers who haven't asked for it....comments like for example, "HELLO, waterbomber, I see you are a social reject and a manhater and politically correct and need an anger management course and OF COURSE, YOU IDIOT those are the reasons you are still single; if only you replied to all your kisses you wouldn't be in this sorry state..."

Thats the unsolicited advice I just got on the Rating blog (no, I'm not having a go at you, woodnwine). It's presumptuous, it's innaccurate, and it's an ego trip for the advice giver.

On the other hand, when advice is asked for, the people on these blogs respond with some very thoughtful, helpful ideas...as you do, decoratress and woodnwine. It's quite touching sometimes. There are a lot of really genuine, decent people on the blogs, and on the website who don't offer advice unless it's asked for. I think the people who keep offering unwanted advice probably do fall into one of notgodsgift's 6 categories.

Posted by: waterbombe at November 23, 2007 2:00 PM

decoratress - I can definitely relate to what you are saying and enjoy asking fellow bloggers either on the blogs or elsewhere for their advice and opinions. Sometimes I get attacked a little for what I say but hey, that is a learning experience too. I am open to advice, ideas, criticism - anything if it helps me grow as a person and maybe helps me find the right person to spend time with. OK, I admit I don't actually like abuse though.

Have agood weekend everyone.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 23, 2007 10:18 AM

notgodsgift...

Personally, I think our opinions on dating & relationships are no less valid than our opinions on loneliness, heartbreak & plain old apathy...

Most of us have experienced all of them & some of us have learnt from past mistakes.
I've spent 3months on rsvp & have now taken my profile down because I'm seeing a fellow blogger. I don't view myself as deficient in dating or relationship skills.
I'm happy to offer anything I've learnt to others, & have in turn learnt much from others' comments here.

I'm an extremely happy person...
I'd have no interest in blogs full of morbid discussions about loneliness, heartbreak or apathy...

How depressing
How negative

I suggest if you want to wallow, perhaps start your own blogsite devoted entirely to misery... there'll be many who'll be drawn to it. Plenty of Victims out there wanting to dwell on the details of their martyrdom.

hahahaha
not me though!!!

"Don't worry, be happy"
(Meher Baba 1894-1969)

decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at November 22, 2007 11:14 PM

Hi All,

I have been thinking about this and have to say; getting advice on dating from RSVP members.....are you insane???

Think about it, we (and I include myself here) dont meet people because we fall into different groups;

1. We dont go to pubs, clubs etc
2. We have been in long term relationships, or long time single, or just couldn't be bothered in the past
3. We have not had time to get into relationships because of careers etc
4. We are sociopaths or psychopaths
5. We have no real people skills
6. We spend our life in front of a computer screen blogging

Probably so much more, but I guess you get the drift. But getting advice from us about dating and relationships.......you really have to be joking!!!

ED,

Cancel aall blogs about getting dating and relationship advice and stick to topics that we might understand, like loneliness, heartbreak and plain old apathy!!

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at November 21, 2007 10:10 AM

Decoratress _ i'm with you 100%. People don't have to have multiple fake profiles to be funny. Ultimately we are all anonymous until we decide to contact someone we like and then we become friends. Do these fake people have any friends? Maybe they have fake friends?

Posted by: woodnwine at November 21, 2007 9:53 AM

It would be nice to find someone to date! 'sigh'
I agree with junebaby57. there are a lot of guys out there who only want sex and expect it straight away after meeting.
Maybe that should be put on their profile then I would not be wasting my time and stamps.
I made one of many suggestions for a blog topic (which I think went to cyberspace with all the others) and it was about "chemistry". What is it, how do you define it and do you really have to feel it?

Posted by: mushie6 at November 21, 2007 7:17 AM

Now this is interesting....

A few hours ago I posted a comment here- responding to onlinedatingguru at Nov20, & remarking on the use of 'personas' on these blogs.

It appeared on the page, but when I came back to it later, it had been removed.

There was nothing offensive in it, so to reiterate:

I don't fall for personas, or anything else unreal....

Why would anyone?

Someone admitting to using different blog names & personas tells me that:

1) they're deceptive
2) they're not really interested in meeting a partner, just playing games
3) they've too much time on their hands

What IS it that makes people want to confuse the blog topic with their personality machinations?

WHY do these people feel the need to switch between names & profiles.... anonymity? And we're not anonymous enough here already? Is Decoratress my real name?
Well.. Duh! ..I don't think so!!!

Jane Doe

Posted by: decoratress at November 21, 2007 3:20 AM

busy, yep, its hard work, looking for the one!!

Actually this started in Feb, when I joined this site and lavalife. And along the way, I worked out that I get lots of contact and dates because of the smile and boobs, a lot of the guys really only want sex. Some are stuck on the early 80's style of soft porn, ( aka Electric blue) and want it in real life!!! It has been a real education.

But not all, as I said I have met some true friends, male and female, and I am seeing a lovely guy at the moment.( who loves the benefits of the education I have rec'd this year, whoever said that you are never to old to learn, had it in a nutshell!!!)

Have a gr8 day, am out sitting in the sun, hoping it helps clear up this rotten chest infection I have....jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at November 20, 2007 9:51 AM

woodnwine, my rsvp experience at present definitely does not include dating. Reading and posting on blogs is very enjoyable, {except when mini wars break out between bloggers} Have been out on a few"dates" and some good some not so good.Met some great guys but the chemistry thing is the hard part to find,Decoratress sums it up pretty well.

Posted by: dolphin46 at November 20, 2007 9:47 AM

hahaha...
DATING isn't the problem- it's finding someone one WANTS to date that's tricky..

Miracles can happen- they are rare, but definitely worth waiting for.

love&miraculously.. dating
decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at November 20, 2007 4:52 AM

Hey Woodnwine, dating is not the problem, it is being or moving into a relationship that is the problem. I have had lots of dates, but they haven't worked out. The spark not being there is the main reason for me! Some guys are not what they say on thier profiles. Some guys would make great friends, but I have many friends, and I have made 2 close friends from the dating website, but the real reason I am here is to find 'the one'.
I have tried the friends with benefits, he is a lovely guy, but recently he has called twice and I postponed the FWB date twice. I have lost interest in it.
I have played with toy boys and dated younger men. The toy boys only want sex, that OK for one time, but then I loose interest, I want the chatting and companionship as well, my toy boy doesn't want the same things. (he was 31). I am now not responding to his MSN's.
Dating youger men, have been out with a few, 39 year old, 41, 42 and 45 year old guys. They also want the sex, and if they don't already have kids, they still want them. So I can't work out why they sent me the kisses and emails!. My profile is honest about my age and looks. The 39 year old is now telling me he would like to see me regularly now, as I told him I have started to see someone else. But I don't think that he is serious!.
And now I am seeing someone close to my own age, he has kids, he is easygoing and fun to be with. Pretty sane and normal really. I don't know how it will work out, only time will tell, so taking babysteps.

Hope that helps answer your question....jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at November 19, 2007 4:07 PM

Is anyone out there dating?

Posted by: woodnwine at November 19, 2007 12:18 PM

Is anyone out there dating older or younger now?
Don't know about taboos but there are definitely objections.

Posted by: lorainer at November 15, 2007 7:49 PM

Hi the fotographer.. back in Oct you posted a brain teaser
"How many words in the English language end in 'mt'
Name a word in the English language that rhymes with orange, silver or purple
What are the two words in the English language that contain all 5 vowels
What is the longest word that can be typed on any one row of a typewriter"

Do you have the answers for them please, please please.. I will be forever in your debt!!
Tar muchly from
the mushroom

Posted by: mushie6 at November 14, 2007 5:07 PM

istj54 - thanks for the advice, I suspected as much. Pity I can't find a younger woman then, maybe I'm looking in all the wrong places. Lordhippie - where do I find them? If anyone would know, it surely must be you (and BTW I don't mind a bit of underarm hair if it's all in a good cause)

Posted by: woodnwine at November 13, 2007 9:14 AM

I know where Chris Lilley gets all his material now.

Posted by: istj54 at November 13, 2007 7:52 AM

Istj54 don’t flatter yourself…you’re nothing like “thefotografer”

Posted by: brilliantblue at November 12, 2007 5:24 PM

Maninblack, thefotogafer. The man they all allude to who hails from up north.
I know because I spent the better part of the weekend reading these screeds and I do have a retentive memory, especially when the same old stories keep on coming up over and over and over.
They seem to think I am one of his alters which to me is highly flattering but untrue.
Woodnwine, I think young women are probably a whole lot more open to new things than we older biddies who don't take well to change sometimes.

Posted by: istj54 at November 12, 2007 11:20 AM

photographer - MIB is actually a phrase I coined months ago, long before itsj54 had even invented herself so technically she wouldn't know what it means.

PS - why do we need the blogs from May to still be on this page? It takes so bl**dy long to load that I am getting fed up and frankly don't have the time to keep posting as often if it is going to be such a freakin pain.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 12, 2007 11:14 AM

Istj54

MIB ? what is that ?

Posted by: thefotografer at November 12, 2007 10:56 AM

istj54 - you're not the woman I can't get, you're the woman I don't get. On topic, are younger women as complicated as older women? Phew!

Posted by: woodnwine at November 12, 2007 10:09 AM

Oooh, you've got a way aboutcha
That's shakin' me offa my vine
Oooh, you've got a way aboutcha
And doncha think it's way past time
Only you can put it where I want it
*and I can't getcha off.
I just can't get you
I can't getcha offa my mind
No I can't getcha off,
I just can't get you
I can't getcha offa my mind*

Oooh, you've got a sweet way of walkin'

[Can't Getcha Offa My Mind lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]
That pushes me offa my mind
Oooh, a street way of talkin'
That lets me know you're just my kind
Cause only you can put it where I need it

(*repeat)

Only you, can send me into ecstasy
When you're next to me
When I need you

You won't get me off your mind now Woodnwine. I'm the woman that you want but can't get.

Posted by: istj54 at November 12, 2007 9:23 AM

Woodnwine you are free to stop replying. Frankly I could care less. These are blogs. I was just having fun conversing, whether with myself or with others.
No one here seems to reply too much to each other anyways. You all talk over each other and just reply to favourites.
It's a bit like a mother's club here, the playground mafia where lots of teacher bashing goes on.
I've never joined in and never wanted to. I always had beds to make and books to read and a job to go to.

Posted by: istj54 at November 12, 2007 9:18 AM

istj54 - as long as we keep replying to you, I guesss you will exist (in your mind or ours). What if we stop, what then?

Posted by: woodnwine at November 12, 2007 9:03 AM

flattery will get you everywhere sugarbabe

Posted by: ageinghippie at November 12, 2007 8:43 AM

I apologise for being a bit rude and playful with you thefotografer. Won't happen again. I am about to become the serious, serial blogger and drive you all demented much like the MIB but not him.
I must say that I am very flattered that you all think that I am him/her. From what I have read he is one very clever man, as are you mrfotografer.

Posted by: istj54 at November 12, 2007 7:49 AM

Malsie & Wraecca, thanks for the wishes. Hope your day was a corker Malsie.

No wraecca, it wasn't the Maitland School Band. It was the NSW Combined Schools Symphonic Wind Orchestra. A combo from all over the state & they also were great. Very professional.

Ageinghippie, is that the Woodfor up the Blue Mountains?

istj54.... I didn't know it was only men who could admire beauty.

Posted by: snipt9876 at November 11, 2007 10:41 PM

I'm getting maudlin in the here n now, Brilliantblue. I'm not reminiscing.
I've got a photo posted and I must say yours are beautiful, very beautiful.
Maybe I am a man.

Posted by: istj54 at November 11, 2007 6:04 PM

Istj54….while your reminiscing take some time to post a photo!

Posted by: brilliantblue at November 11, 2007 5:35 PM

Cry Me a River is playing now, another possibility.
I might have to go and get a drink now. I'm getting a bit maudlin.

Posted by: istj54 at November 11, 2007 5:15 PM

I'm just listening to Only Women Bleed, might be a possibility.
Or Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman by Bryan Adams.

Posted by: istj54 at November 11, 2007 5:07 PM

Well,yes it is.
I’m changing it soon any requests /accept�shuddupa your face� ?

Posted by: thefotografer at November 11, 2007 4:12 PM

Now, see, even the decrepidhippie can't quite work out what he/she is...!!!

Posted by: hiddencharms at November 11, 2007 3:51 PM

Dear Mr Photographer

My next visit to Sydney is for the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras. I believe there may be an extra float next year.

I am far more photogenic when buffed, oiled and lounging on a float in feathers.

Take a few piccies, ducky, then.

At der moment I am in hippie mode and it's all grunge and St Vinnies (Woodford HippieFest is 6 weeks away).

Posted by: ageinghippie at November 11, 2007 4:32 AM

Thanks for the peek. Is that you singing. Very good. Are you in a band?

Posted by: istj54 at November 10, 2007 7:15 PM

Ageinghippie and istj54
My profile is up .
Now I would like to see both your photographs..please ?

Posted by: thefotografer at November 10, 2007 7:05 PM

Ageing Hippie,
You could be right. I have been following all of her advice and I am now a "mean" cook and I laugh at everyone's jokes, even the fotografer's. I am getting counselling for all my "issues" as well as psychiatric help and buying up all those self help books. In fact, soon I will be so good I will be dating myself. Hang on. I already am.

Posted by: istj54 at November 10, 2007 7:01 PM

Fotographer

Don't even bother asking for her photo.

She's probably distantly related to slimey

Posted by: ageinghippie at November 10, 2007 6:47 PM

I've just joined up to this site. I've been on a few others and friends have told me this is the best. Time will tell I suppose.
Today I had a good read thru these blogs and I must say they are an interesting read. I haven't read everything. I do have a life too but I saw some of your blogs fotografer and tried to look at your profile and it is not there, so no look at my photo. fair is fair.
Anyway picture this. I am 54 but don't look too badly for that great age. I have longish, just past shoulder length dark brown hair and sparkling dark green hazel eyes and a smile that lights up any room. Or so I have been told many many times. I have a small nose and even features.
I am small and slimmish but have put average on my profile because it is up to the person who sees me to decide. I'm about 53 Kg but short. A tall man would say slim but maybe a shorter man would say average. There is your picture.

Posted by: istj54 at November 10, 2007 6:03 PM

istj54

May i see your photo
please ?

Posted by: thefotografer at November 10, 2007 5:40 PM

Relationships should ideally be just between the two people in them. I know that is not the case but it should be. Others should respect that but of course they don’t they interfere.
Older/Younger should not ever matter if it doesn’t to you or the other person.
Trade is probably a harsh word but you have to have an exchange of things in a relationship or it would not work out for long. One partner cannot just give and give and give and never get anything back. That does not work. Even if you say you love your kids unconditionally and don’t expect anything in return you would be awfully hurt if they did not love you.
From what I have read truman’s cat you seem to be entering a relationship of some depth so enjoy it without thinking of what others may say re the age gap.

Posted by: istj54 at November 10, 2007 5:31 PM

The question of trade has reared it's head again.

Yes there is give & take within a relationship, one has strengths & weaknesses counterbalanced by the partner & visa versa.
However.
My reaction was to the suggestion that my "possible" date with an older man was based on his supposed wealth & power.
Implied was that the attraction was a "trade", my youth versus his wealth & at the end of the date I would have my hand out fully compensated by a "30 stone man who dribbles and smells of cheese."
"I hope you enjoy your date and he treats you as an older man should be treating a younger woman."
October 20, 2007 11:11 PM

Posted by: trumanscat at November 10, 2007 10:32 AM

Did the washing, shopping, bought tap washers and O-rings this morning and actually replaced most of the plumbing throughout the house this arvo. Had to belt the mains water handle to turn it off as it's a new one and use the stilson wrench on the taps in the showers as well as the bath.
The handyman fixed the front door closer while I was doing the plumbing and I got him to install a peephole at the same time.
So, Fort Nox again...ummm nope, just remembered I have it fix the security door lock on the kitchen.

Anyway, phoned my dad in hospital when I finished tonight and he sounds okay from the op he had today. He's had to wear a catheter & bag since his emergency trip to hospital a couple of weeks ago, having to get up every night to change it and will have to continue with the bag for a few more weeks but hopefully, everything will then be okay.

I'm going to visit him tomorrow and take him a bunch of flowers.

Don't know what my 71 year old, non-demonstrative dear old dad will think of that but he's getting them anyway and I reckon he'll enjoy them. :)

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 7, 2007 10:45 PM

Thanks, OO and Ninaschen.... now I feel like the queen... (was that your line, Ninaschen? If so, apologies for plagerising!) Look forward to meeting you too....

Posted by: malsie at November 7, 2007 9:08 PM

Another happy birthday from me too, Malsie. :)

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 7, 2007 9:04 PM

Many happies, Malsie! Looking forward to meeting you on the 1st.

Posted by: ninaschen at November 7, 2007 9:01 PM

Thanks, Wraecca - and it has been a good one, ta! :)

Posted by: malsie at November 7, 2007 8:43 PM

Malsie, happy birthday!!!

Snipt9876, happy birthday for next week. Were you accompanying the Maitland School Band that was at the Orana Mall last week? They were playing outside of Big W. If so, I heard them, they were fantastic!!!

Catch you all later.

Posted by: wraecca at November 7, 2007 6:05 PM

Snipt9876 - happy birthday for next week (it's mine today actually) - you must be a fellow Scorp!

I really enjoyed your blog contributions and thought there was a lot of sense in what you said (probably because I agreed with it all, meaning if you think like me, you must be eminently sensible naturally....) - welcome!

Posted by: malsie at November 7, 2007 5:39 PM

snipt9876...
for the sake of accuracy, I thought i'd post this very famous quote from Hamlet:
Hamlet:

And therefore as a stranger give it welcome.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Hamlet Act 1, scene 5, 159–167

Posted by: funlovertoo at November 7, 2007 7:34 AM

snipt9876, let us know when it is closer to your birthday so we can send you good wishes at a more appropriate time.

I think both your photos are good. No need to substitute either one of them and if you happen to get another one in the future, just add it to the gallery.

Speaking of laughs from the gallery:

I'll try to get around to do my plumbing tomorrow snipt (does that mean you've been fixed?) and, even though I say so myself, I'm pretty good with my adjustable wrench (even though I don't like the 12" as much as my old 10" that a "tool" stole from me in the past,) stilson wrench, pliers, fibre washers (don't like the plastic ones 'cos they crack up) O-rings, body washers and plumbers tape.

But I've got this bathtub spout that's a bit twisted out of kilt as well as literally, running like a tap and I think it'll need reseating. I have a cheap reseating tool but I have been told they can do more damage than the original problem itself...

So, I'll see how I go tomorrow. No doubt I'll have at least one trip to the local hardware store to restock my plumbing supplies (I find it's better to replace all tap washers at the same time) and continue training the new counter staff in there (a bit like training doctors I find) in the art of dealing with customers -particularly ones who keep asking questions.

But I do think they enjoy it sometimes and it does stop them from getting too bored through the day.

Some in here, may even enjoy it too -if I'm kept busy enough, they won't have to read/bypass so many of my posts. ;)

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 7, 2007 12:30 AM

DREAMT

Posted by: thefotografer at November 7, 2007 12:15 AM

Thefotografer, I nearly forgot... there are NO words in 'the English language' that end with mt.

And Wraecca, I was where you are last week with these kids. They weren't impressed with the flies. They were even less impressed when I told them that the flies hadn't even really arrived yet. Lol.

And no, I'm not a teacher or involved with the Education Dept.

Bye.

Posted by: snipt9876 at November 6, 2007 11:06 PM

Ornamentalonely, thanks for your response. Isn't this great. Again I get a good laugh. I could just picture your efforts with the door closer. Sort of like a real life slapstick British comedy. Good on you.

Thanks also for not taking the bloody turban seriously. the damn thing has caused me more grief than you could imagine. It was at a fancy dress party for heavens sake. Yet more people have taken it seriously than I could have possibly imagined. Stamps spent, caustic comments made, criticisms galore.

The truth is that at the present moment in my life i don't have any friends who are mad photo freaks so I have precious few current photos of myself.

Somehow, setting up a scenario (not to mention a camera and tripod), then pressing the button and racing madly round (hopefully) into shot and getting that 'just right' photo is not a happening thing so I will wait for someone else to take another picture that includes a bit more than my left foot.

And yes, seriously now(but only briefly serious) I agree. Caring and sharing I don't take as a trade. Nor brilliantblue is our love for our children or love for another. I was merely pointing out that technically and practically it is all a trade - yes a tacky word - of one sort or another.

Aint it great that we have the ability and compassion not to live our lives technically and practically all the time.

On a lighter note, next week it is my birthday. Until last week I didn't know what I was going to do on the day. But I had the pleasure of spending five days with a bunch of kids who were part of the NSW Combined State Schools Symphonic Wind Orchestra. They were a great bunch of kids, year 6 - 12, who have obviously put in a lot of effort to hone their skills and they were really excellent. The orchestra is sort of like a brass band (50 of the little devils) with symphony orchestra percussion.

Next week, on my birthday, they are giving their major annual concert which is also a big fund-raiser for them so I said I would travel the two and a half hours down there and see their concert. They were all genuinely thrilled that I would make the effort. They all clapped and cheered and stuff like I was someone special. It was another of those 'warm fuzzy' moments.

I'll probably stay down in Sydney somewhere, but its not something I would normally have thought that I would do, but gee I'm looking forward to it. Again, it would be better with someone to share it with, but what the heck. I make a point of enjoying myself whatever I'm doing, or wherever I am.

Wishingandhoping2, I also smile at and talk to strangers. Its amazing how so often it brightens their day. Plus I suppose, it given them something to tell the folks at home. How this complete and utter nutter to the time to chat, or to help or whatever.

Again, the warm fuzzies.

See you all when I get back. Take care and keep happy.

Hooroo.

Posted by: snipt9876 at November 6, 2007 10:37 PM

Snipt9876, thank you for your encouraging words and goodwill. One thing, though. If you were to try and visit BK and I in Bathurst, you wouldn't be able to find us. You see, we don't *actually* live in Bathurst. BK is in Brisbane, and I'm a couple of hours north-west of Bathurst, in the Western Plains area (think of a zoo with that name...). Otherwise, thanks :)

Now, as to the controversial topic of 'trade', I like OO's idea of an exchange, or a balance. Its not that I don't see your point of view, or even disagree with it. I just don't particularly like the word when it comes to relationships. But that's just me :)

Otherwise, welcome to the blogs, be entertained, make sure you read the juicy ones, and I look forward to reading more of your thoughts :D

Posted by: wraecca at November 6, 2007 10:16 PM

I am not as optmistic as the opening intro. Demi Moore may like younger men, and certainly there has been attention in America on Cougars (older women with younger men), but i still think that women dating older men is the norm.

I am in the age group of 20-25 and the experience in this age group is admittedly probably quite different from the 30-35 group for example. We have a clear pattern in this age group of women who more often than not only date men who are older. The margins may be one or two years, but the women dating older men scenario is consistent and no coincidence. I do have friends who have older partners in this age group, but i have many many more who have younger women partners.

I am not sure who is responsible. It is probably partly mens and womens choices. But certainly men who are 23 have nothing against dating women who are 26, in fact, they revel in such opportunities, see it as a recognition or testament to their masculinity. I feel it is more likely women are choosing, and i know all my female friends say they won't even consider dating a younger male.

I feel the situation is unfortunate. There is sometimes legitimacy to womens selectivity in that younger men are at different life stages, and etc. But often when their is compatability, the rule of thumb dating rule (no younger men) women use, rules out any opportunity.

I travel in fairly young successful circles. I go to a university, a good one, and am around ambitous women and men. I have increadingly grown dismayed at womens relctance to date men who are in any way perceived to be below them, however slight. Their is a pattern where men must have either age, money or a job higher than them. The problem is, this is the new generation, and women are talking of seeking their own destinies, challenging male dominance and traditional stereotypes, but we see women actively pursueing avenues to recreate those existing stereotypes (ie. male earning more, maybe doesn't look as good, but has a better job).

I know people will criticise me and cite cases of inconsistency they know of (ie. i know so and so, and they are this age, and they are like this), and yes, there are some exceptions, but they are exceptions and if you know what the reality is for university level youth in Australia, you hopefully would realise the truth in my words, however uncomfortable or confronting they may be.

And yes, i am a male, but i am also a male who sees women as equal citizens and rightful workers, and in every way equal to men. I speak from a male experience, but i am also conscious and thinking in terms of female welfare to the greatest extent possible from my male position.

Posted by: z3099888 at November 6, 2007 10:00 PM

beilliant blue, my day has thus not been wasted. I have brought a little moment of laughter to someone. Goodoh.

It is all about wants and needs isn't it? I think we humans are fairly much herd animals and though yes, you are right in saying that you are quite capable of providing everything you need. However, you wouldn't be here if you didn't think that there was something missing that you wanted.

I too can provide everything that I need, but I can't provide that special company that I want. The company that you can share the intimate (not necessarily sexual) things with, the spontaneous laughter that comes with a good relationship, to share the happy and sad times and even just a good move or show. You can take a friend but its just not the same.

Trade is probably a harsh word for much of what we do. Share is another that fits. Compromise also suits as do lots of other words. I don't take much of it too seriously as 'trade' but that was the term that was first used. Words are funny like that. Take compromise. You can do one, or be the other and in both situations the same word has a similar, yet opposite meaning.

In all things, business or personal, I try to apply two basic principles. The first is honesty. The second is that in all relationships/deals/trades etc there must be two winners. If there is only one winner, then sooner or later the whole shebang will fall over.

Enjoying each others company is one very big part of both being winners.

Take care. Got to go away with work till Friday night.

Hooroo

Posted by: snipt9876 at November 6, 2007 9:56 PM

Snipt9876...its called love for that person....doing something you don't feel like doing.
We give our children unconditional love! Where's the trade?

Posted by: brilliantblue at November 6, 2007 9:54 PM

No,I am retired,I have a registered business called Fotogenic which I have never pursued to make a profit.
I live off the earnings of a share in a company in the Newcastle area.

Posted by: thefotografer at November 6, 2007 9:48 PM

*Sigh* trade sounds so tacky.

If my idea of "balance" doesn't sit well, how about the word "exchange". It just sounds so much better than the common term trade...

For surely, some of us try to exchange different ideas through this blog?

Just an aside.
Some people in real life actually leave their "ex"es behind, "change" themselves and move onto a new life.
-What a novel idea.

Keep going snipt9876 at November 6, 2007 9:23 PM, the trade of my time in reading your posts (which I don't choose to do with some,) is rewarded so far -by your sense of humour. :)

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 6, 2007 9:45 PM

Thefotografer, I agree to some extent. I will again be in the situation where I am my own boss. Right now it suits me otherwise. But, I take it from your previous blogs (is that the correct term?) that you are a professional shutterbug. In that case you are trading your knowledge/experience/services/time for sustenance. True, you might not be willing to haggle over price but as your own boss, that is your right. You are still trading. If you don't sell them I suppose you COULD eat them. You could even glue them together and build a house from them. But sooner or later you would still need to trade something to someone for something else, such as the glue, or more paper. But it is still a trade.

Again, I agree that without common ground a relationship would soon founder. But it would be extremely rare that any 2 people would be exactly alike at exactly the same time over everything. So you trade. You really don't want to do everything she wants all the time and vicky verka. I will do this, but next Saturday I want to do that & I'd love it if you were there etc. So you bargain and negotiate, ie. trade. Its all part of a relationship.

If you don't do this, and want it all your own way the the relationship is doomed to failure. If you do want it all your own way and aren't prepared to compromise, then what do you want (notice not need) a partner for, and what are you after on RSVP?

I thought we were all here looking for a partnership for life and a partnership means give and take OR, in other words, a trade.

The one thing I would not trade anything for if I was was you would be your sense of humour. At times it borders on the inane. Ya gotta luv that.

Hooroo.

Posted by: snipt9876 at November 6, 2007 9:23 PM

Aaaaahhh...talking of trade.

Think I'm going to give up with on my front door closer (after rescrewing it -fell out; buying stud gun, repairing it -closer wrecked it; bought a new closer, tried attaching it, had to remove previous metal stud with tin cutters (no drill at the moment) and use a phillips head screw driver to make residual hole larger -bent elbow bracket, hammered that back straight but new door closer is too long et-so-on-boring-oneproblemafteranother-cetera) and pay a trado to do it for me -dammit!
But I'm tired from health and family issues and it sure will be more practical and efficient to pay my newly found handyman, than keep wearing myself out at the moment. It will definitely be a good trade to pay someone else to do it for me.

However, I refuse to label the time I choose to spend with friends or a lover "a trade".
I'm lucky enough that I don't need to (in both cases) and it is choice as well as pride (my downfall at times) that refuses to treat my friends or a partner as such.

But like I said before, life is about balance. I do admire positive traits in other people that I do not possess as well as identifying with people who have similar experiences and subsequent outlooks to myself.

Saying that, I do agree there are definite areas in life of direct trade. Working for someone definitely qualifies.

Sitting here reading the blogs while I'm too tired to do anything else I think is a pretty good trade at times. Speaking of which, snipt9876, you made some good points in your post snipt9876 at November 6, 2007 6:59 PM and welcome to the blogs.

I also like your turban in your second profile pic and the deep red colour really suits you. :)

But there are other longterm bloggers that I read and smile with or feel for them and I sometimes respond to, that I don't count as a trade. It is caring for other human beings, albeit, through this online medium.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 6, 2007 9:14 PM

I had to laugh Snipt9876 at my typo when I reread it in your blog!
But have disagree with about the whole of life being a trade....yes! I work because I need to support my family and yes that is as trade, I get paid in return for work but the difference is when it comes to personal relationships I have a "choice"...I choose to enter or not....I don't trade!
Maybe some people "need" to be in a relationship and as such might find it necessary to trade.
I don't need to be in a relationship....have been on my own for long enough to realise that. Am quite capable of providing everything I need.
So no trading in my relationships it would be purely a choice of enjoying spending time together!

Posted by: brilliantblue at November 6, 2007 7:55 PM

The only reason people trade is if they want something.
If you have no leverage than you come off second best.
But when you are in my position ,I don’t trade, I don’t have to because I depend on nobody to sustain my existence , for example.a boss,a company etc.

In personal relationships I prefer to find common ground, if you haven’t got any common ground than you won’t be together long anyway.

Posted by: thefotografer at November 6, 2007 7:20 PM

Hi people

New to blogging, only this week in fact. I needed a 'down' day so after a rare sleep-in, sat down to read through this blog, starting at the beginning.

Pheweeee! Didn't it get nasty toward the middle of October. But back to that later.

On the subject... why should age matter? Things may be easier with closeness of age, but who said things always had to be easy? We're talking emotions and affairs of the heart here, so there will always be little (& sometimes not so little)speedhumps on the highway of life.

Some of the micest moments I've witnessed have been when I've seen two people, regardless of age, sharing each others company, loving every minute of it, having fun, and then you see their eyes meet and they just smile at each other.

Not that I'm in lust smile either, but the other kind. Its what I call a warm fuzzy moment. Who cares if they're old guy/young girl or old girl/young guy. If it works for them then you just have to be happy for them. They're not forcing it on you or anyone else. To each his own and whatever works for each is good.

Now to comment on a few other entries, and weren't some of them great? There are some wise people out there, and some even hide their wiseness (?) in comic remarks. Well done!

thefotographer, Oct 15... War of the Sexes? Don't see it as a battle myself. Just the continuing search for the right one. Don't much like fighting, although I know it's just a term.

Statistics..... I wondered how long it would take to bring them up, and it actually took quite a lot of entries. Stats are rubbish. You can make them say anything. Eg. We did stats at school. It was obvious that what the teacher was saying was a lot of old cobblers so I put my hand up. When asked I said I could give him a statistic. I said, "I don't wear any underwear." When asked what relevance that was I replied, "Statistics show that 99.98% of people killed in motor vehicle accidents are wearing underwear. I just want to encrease my odds at living." We were not amused were we?

Trade... (Started by Amandad31, Oct 21.)... The whole of life is a trade. I trade some of my leisure time to work. The boss trades my work for money. In a relationship, we trade some of our freedom/independence for company, not just sex. In a way every form of trade is one or another sort of prostitution. For this I put the blinkers on and choose not to view it that way. Its a glass half full thing.

Divorced/single....(Brilliantblue and others, Oct 15) I have changed my profile to divorced just to keep the piece. But soooo long after the one and only divorce, and several relationships later, I'm afraid I still regard myself as single. (See, that was a trade).

As to the reasons for divorce, I don't think you could possibly catalogue or categorise them all. My divorce was caused by my wife turning 30. Five years later the most her parents - lovely people they are - found out was that she didn't want to get older. Within 12 months she had remarried, a younger bloke (a bit wimpy but a nice chap anyway) and they have been happy ever since. There's none as queer as folk is there? What sort of a reason was that?

In the other two major relationships, we just sort of grew apart. What I mean is that life took us in different directions. It's like that sometimes. We are still very good friends. John Lennon got it right when he said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

House security... (woodnwine/Brilliantblue, Oct 19)... very important but precautions can be taken. The fear of this can be very daunting but should not I think prevent entering into a new relationship. I personally would not argue over a house. It's the material object thing, and there's plenty more where they came from. The only ones who win in those kind of arguments are the legal eagles.

Freedom of speech.... (thelynathdiary, Oct. 21) There is legally no such thing in Australia. Not since the UK declared us aliens in the early 70's, not since Little Johnny's terrorist legislation, and yes there is a bit in there about what you can and can't say, and expecially not as Australia is about the only economically developed nation without any form of Bill of Rights guaranteeing this.

To Wraecca and BK.... good on you both. My sincere best wishes. Hope it continues to work out for you. And I may just pop in and say hi next time I'm passing through Bathurst, which is fairly often.

Spiders..... the best and surest way I've found to get rid of them, humanely, is to get an empty chinese food container and pop it over them. Then you get a piece of stiff paper or thin cardboard and slide it underneath. Then you can carry them outside and get rid of them. No touching involved.

Profiles..... I may visit your profiles more than once. This does not mean I am a pervert, although with the right amount of leverage and encouragement I could possibly become one. Who knows, I might like it. No, it is simply because you read so many (and that in itself is possibly a little perverted) that you forget who said what, and who lives where etc. So if something comes up in a blog, or a face pops up on the 'featured members' bit then I will go and revisit them to refresh the memory. No apologies made, none needed, and no sinister intentions for those who are nervously inclined.

I was going to congratulate thefotographer on his sense of humour. I had many a good laugh with his replies. Even though some were a bit cynical at times, often they would spark a flagging blog which was perhaps his intention. But I'm afraid camera man you have been eclipsed.

Along came the great fight, mainly between Amandad31 and Brilliantblue, (pr at least the most entertaining part of the fight). I thought Bb's line, "You immature piece of absolute garage" was priceless. I know it was only a typo but I cracked and immediately rang a builder friend to see if I could get one.

I just love it when things are getting serious then something like that accidently happens and diffuses the whole situation. When things have calmed down it gives you something to look back on and laugh over. So cameraman, you were beaten by a typo.

But back to the topic, personally I couldn't think of anything worse than dating a 21-25 year old. All those 'oh my god's', and 'heaps', and 'whatever's' (when they can't think of anything else to reply with) and all those 'likes'... no thanks.

ohmygod. Like that would be heaps bad.

Hooroo for now. Have a great time while hunting.

And I didn't use the spellcheck. Whatever.

Posted by: snipt9876 at November 6, 2007 6:59 PM

I totally agree with you wishingandhoping2…it’s a good feeling to smile and chat to someone you don’t know….even the little old lady standing in the line with you….who will love nothing more than to tell you about her grandchildren. The butchers are the masters of flirtation….but you always leave having had a good laugh and feeling good.

Posted by: brilliantblue at November 6, 2007 8:23 AM

WnW, flirting is good too!
Someone suggested to me last year that I should flirt at least five times each day. I tried it and it workss. It gives you a whole new aspect to meeting and talking to people.

I'm not talking about sexual flirting just friendly, fun repartee with those you meet up with over a day. It could be the butcher(they are masters of the game), the sales assistant, waiter, student, co-worker, whoever you come across. Try it, it's fun and makes you both happy.

Also try smiling at strangers when you are out and about. It becomes a joy to see some faces light up and nice to know that you may have made someone's day.

So my advice for blogland today is to flirt and smile more often.
Sounds a bit shallow, but it's not. It will make you feel good.

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at November 6, 2007 8:10 AM

woodnwine maybe the stay in beautiful Melbourne has tempered you.......

We have that effect down here you know very relaxed and casual..........k

Posted by: auntykaz at November 5, 2007 8:17 PM

wishing2 - I guess my attitude is changing. I am at the stage on this site where I have made some good friends and frankly I am a bit like brilliantblue, I am happy by myself and don't really mind who or what comes along, it's all good. I might even buy some more stamps soon as I believe I have to send a few emails and people don't seem to be able to contact me, which I thought would be easy. Flirting? Not really just happy & expressing myself.

brilliantblue - no, don't change but you will need to be flexible, which becomes harder the older we get. I do what you mean about being restless.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 5, 2007 7:56 PM

Hi Woodnwine….in reply to your question!
I just don’t think I fit into men’s expectations of normal at my age….I don’t think I fit either!

I’m probably not going to explain this very well but I’ll try. Personality wise I have two sides the immature, stupid, fun then there’s the other side of responsible, serious and deep. The problem is extremes I’m totally one or the other….no middle ground. Brain wise I need the academic and the creative….can’t survive without both….I also run with extremes here as well….althrough my life it has been one or the other….started of in advertising with graphic arts diploma…then became bored after so many years and went back to university…majored in psychology and philosophy….after many years realised I needed both sides….now work as a cartographer/graphic draughtsperson which is the first job where I have both sides.

I get bored very easily….find it hard to settle…hate routine with a passion, always ready to lead the fight for the underdog….have never done anything in half measures, very energetic, my life has always been the rollercoaster and wouldn’t have it any other way!

I’m probably just too much for any man….and not willing to settle just for the sake of being with some one….I’m had men wanting a relationship but I’m just not interested if it doesn’t feel 100% right. I’ve got to a stage in my life where I would rather be on my own than with the wrong person.

I’ll know if the right person for me comes by but if it doesn’t happen, so be it…I’ll still be happy!

Posted by: brilliantblue at November 5, 2007 5:09 PM

You've returned in a very flirtatious mode WnW....

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at November 5, 2007 2:39 PM

brilliantblue - good idea about breast cancer - I would support that. BTW, why are you still here? Why hasn't someone snapped you up? I am too old and am starting to get comfortable here on the shelf (amazing what you can do to make an old shelf comfortable, a cushion here or there, a fresh coat of paint.)

Posted by: woodnwine at November 4, 2007 10:51 PM

Good idea brilliantblue at November 4, 2007 6:12pm.

You are right wishingandhoping2 at November4, 2007 3:56pm with people we have loved and lost being a part of us forever.
-As I do think the same, of everyone I meet in my life.
No matter for how short a time, even simply exchanging a smile with a stranger in the street, a child at church this morning -these interactions become a part of each other for the rest of our lives.

I lost health and some abilities through a teen accident, family connections through my 20's, a spouse at 30yrs and truly value everything left to me. Now I use my time to help others less fortunate.

I do like wraecca's term of a "blessing" rather than the previous word used by someone else, of "baggage" to describe being part of life and its experiences.
My own reference to some bits of life being a curse, was made as usual, with a touch of wryness.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 4, 2007 7:19 PM

Have just put a blog up on RSVP Support asking them to run an "RSVP PINK DAY" for every stamp purchased a percentage goes to the "Breast Cancer Foundation"

Posted by: brilliantblue at November 4, 2007 6:12 PM

People we have loved and lost remain within us forever. Sometimes they even become our spirit guides in life.
They are never far away and yes, life is the greatest gift and needs to be lived as such.

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at November 4, 2007 3:56 PM

Life *is* a blessing and as such, should be lived to the full. You don't know when certain people or abilities will be taken away from you. Be thankful for every day that you have where you are healthy, of sound mind, and have people you love and love you back.

Life is too short, and we lose those that we care for too soon.

I'm sorry, I just can't do this today...............

Posted by: wraecca at November 4, 2007 3:42 PM

I think life can be a blessing, woodnwine (as well as a curse at times) and it's up to ourselves to make the best of what we have.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 4, 2007 10:54 AM

Wow, being single really is a blessing isn't it?

Posted by: woodnwine at November 4, 2007 12:24 AM

I think experience gives us the knowledge to avoid situations we don't want to be involved in. Either with a certain type of male/female/ or whatever.

Surely we all have the right to make our own choices based on these sometimes hard earnt life lessons?

Also, not to have other people condemn, our experienced maturity/judgements/supposed baggage/or whatever else they may call it?

Posted by: ornamentalonly at November 3, 2007 11:40 PM

brilliantblue

This may turn up twice-lol

I would like to get together with fellow bloggers in Sydney. At the moment I am out for lunch on the 24th november-for my parents' 50th wedding anniversary lunch. (it can be done). I have the ladies from my sewing group at my place for Christmas get-together on December 1st.

Hopefully we will be able to organise a day to meet-looking forward to it.

karenchocolat

Posted by: karenchocolat at November 3, 2007 8:47 PM

You are right, we all have baggage but it is just life experiences and how we deal with them.
I meant that I don't have baggage about men or any bitterness.
My problem would be that since I never dated before a few years ago the last guys I did date were in their twenties or thirties.
You probably went through the same thing when you started dating after getting over your wife's death. Not that you ever would get over it but you know what I mean....

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at November 3, 2007 7:05 PM

Forographer,

Go back and read this blog from the beginning to get a better insight into me and my situation. May give you a better understandin of where I am coming from.....

I am not a bitter, rejected wife and I am ceratinly never self-righteous.

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at November 3, 2007 6:56 PM

Oh girl, we all have baggage.
Your baggage to me might be just rubbish that you have never put in a bin…..to you it night be precious memories.
Never ever say you have not got baggage…….behaviour is baggage and I have not met one single woman who has not got some thing from their past which is not influencing their thinking in the present day.
I can only speak from a male point of view because I don’t date men!!!

Posted by: thefotografer at November 3, 2007 6:55 PM

I can't answer that question as I've never been in that situation.

I've been single for many, many years and brought up my two children alone and never dated until my son turned twenty-one.

I never married, so consequently never divorced. I had no wish to date in all those years so as it happens I ma not one of those women.

I can actually say with all honesty that I have no baggage.

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at November 3, 2007 6:46 PM

Wishingand hoping2

It is the women in their 50’s that are scared and self righteous.
I have had a look through some of the younger profiles in their twenties who are more than happy to meet a guy in his late thirties to early forties,so you tell me what goes on in the mind of a 50 year old woman who all of a sudden after their long term marriage love of their life divorce end up so screwed up in the head ?
Just thought I would ask?
Is that because their last husband bonked their brains out ?

Posted by: thefotografer at November 3, 2007 6:37 PM

People in their fifties are up against it, as both sexes seem to find each other too old and fusty, infit or whatever.....we are destined to remain single until this changes.

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at November 3, 2007 6:21 PM

good words of advice waterbombe - I wish someone had told me this when I first joined rsvp in the beginning! In 2 years of being on and off this site I can honestly say only a minority that I have met are looking for a partner. Ah, the players I have met them, everyone from the 'i love you' types to being ditched by txt types(cruel huh?) It unfortunately leaves me and others extremely wary of everyone one you meet - genuine or not, you are half expecting to be treated badly.
I remain positive though, I am an optomist! I have met some great men on here as well (they are still friends). woodnwine its not just the younger guys either, I am 41 and its guys around my age.

Posted by: ausgal123 at November 3, 2007 3:21 PM

On another blog someone complained that I don't reply to comments made to me!

However, I DO reply,( but it is up to the management to decide which of my blogs they publish) and if they edit them and leave parts out sometimes it can realy change my meaning!

So if you have made a comemnt to me, and I haven't replied, don't feel slighted,its just that it hasn't been selected for publication.

I hope that that clears things up.

Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at November 2, 2007 11:25 PM

Reply to the "fotografer" Oct 29th 7.30pm........I did not stand you up as I was not aware that we had a "wining and dining date" at macdonalds in Melbourne!....(is that not a contradiction in terms?????)---------(I think I would have expected something a bit more like home-cooked actually to impress me!! LOL!!)

What were you doing in Melbourne looking for me, when I am up here in western Sydney??????

So you poor thing, you are now "at home climbing the walls"????????

Well well, we will just have to keep chatting on the blogs instead.

Keep the jokes coming, my daughter loves to send them on to her friends too if she likes them!

Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at November 2, 2007 11:09 PM

To "thelynythdiary'..I posted a request for people to give the code meanings to words on profiles a little while back, but didn't get a reply yet.---(but the management don't of course publish all requests OR all answers, so someone may have replied but they didn't post it.

However, you have brought the subject up yourself, and so some people who have been around longer, may be able to tell us all.

I too had noticed those things on that person's profile, and thought that they would attract the wrong person.

"fun times" ..."garden path" and" open to everything", are OBVIOUSLY going to attract creeps, but I am sure that htere are many expressions that seem quite inocent,that in 2007 have taken on a new meaning!

My daughter's have told me that men have codes which they say in their profiles,which indicate that they are into homosexual activities on the side.----(they some times list these codes under their interests section apparently (.ie; "watersports" is one my daughter's said to watch out for!)

When I see women complaining on these chatboards about getting genital photos sent to them as a way of identifying their date for the coffee meeting... I wonder if something in their profile or their conversation has been misinterpreted as a "code"..and if they could be enlightned as to these "codes", this might prevent this happening in the future!

Also, I certainly wouldn't want this happening to me either.!

So, does anyone out in blog land, know these "codes", so that we can avoid saying any of them????????????

Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at November 2, 2007 8:17 PM

meegymeegs, that was a very tough thing to happen. But if you had slept with the guy, you wouldn't have seen him again either. My guess is he was a 'player'. They are charming, fun, entertaining,thoughtfiul, considerate, helpful...until they get sex. They want sex without a relationship, and when the woman expects a relationship, they move on to the next one.

Who do they choose? Any woman newly separated, any woman who seems vulnerable or easy or who has been hurt. A woman who has been hurt is shaky, her belief in herself has been damaged, and she's easy to con because she needs connection and warmth so badly. These guys can fake warmth for 2-3 days (or weeks. But no longer). They can fake it long enough to get you into bed. There are a lot of these guys looking for vulnerable women on RSVP, and everywhere else. And it doesn't matter what age they are ...19, 33, 55 .... God knows but I imagine some 70 year old men do this too.

How do you avoid them? This is general advice... Don't put anything in your profile that says "easy" (not even the word), don't say what you don't want (because clearly you have recently had what you don't want, (or it wouldn't be uppermost in your mind) therefore you are hurt, therefore you are vulnerable), and don't mention sex, fun times, playfulness, intimacy, cuddles, hugs, .lying on a rug in front of a winter fire...and the rest. They are all code words for sex to someone.

I think you had a lucky escape from this guy, because you could have been a lot more damaged emotionally if you had hung out with him for 2-3 weeks and then he disappeared. It wasn't your fault...but now you are single again you should learn to spot these guys. For your own protection.

Posted by: waterbombe at November 2, 2007 7:32 PM

By the way don,t believe that some men are not just interested in sex even at 75!!!!

Posted by: aqtpi at November 2, 2007 4:15 PM

Hi every one.. I,M GOBSMACKED a fellow iv,e had contact(met on RSVP) with now for 4 mths.. a couple of coffees lots of msn and emails, i have just found out is 75yrs old next b,day.. he told me he was going to be 60 ON Christmas Day;; it was a good lesson yet again on following my gut instinct when things just didn,t seem right I would ring his wife and tell her if i didn,t think she might die from heart attack;; Junebaby i,d be interested in a Canberra get to gether

By the way he doesn,t know YET that i know happy looking to you all

Posted by: aqtpi at November 2, 2007 4:12 PM

Hi Tish B, Never give up is the way to go! Nice to see you back, but I think you should reintroduce yourself on the current blog as a lot of people are having trouble getting this one to download..takes forever and freezes!
aka patience

Posted by: thelynathdiary at November 2, 2007 3:55 PM

agreed WW but there is a great misconception that all men want is sex. I guess like myself, and you , there are others out there that would actually like a commited relationship, not just a romp.

Dont get me wrong, romp[ing is nice , but really only with the right person.

Posted by: twoeyes at November 2, 2007 3:48 PM

meegymeegs

Firstly, no not all men are after just sex and most don't expect it instantly but some certainly do from what everyone on here says (I still find it hard to believe some of the stories). Secondly though, at 33 years of age, maybe you need to consider dating slightly more mature men. If you mostly date guys 19-24 (no matter how young you may or may not look) then you will probably mostly get guys who just want sex. At 19 years of age, most guys are not ready for a relationship, they just want fun so maybe you should reconsider and look closer to your age. Many guys around 30-35 look young too.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 2, 2007 3:34 PM

Hi brilliantblue
Actually my trip was a working trip with very little time for pleasure. I hope everyone on the blogs has been well and I hear Ninaschen has just had a birthday - happy birthday.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 2, 2007 3:19 PM

brilliantblue

I would love to get together with fellow bloggers! Will, of course, depend on the date and the time. For me it can't be during the day on 24/11/07 (my parents' 50th wedding anniversary) or on December 1st (have all my sewing friends at my place for our Christmas get-together).

Looking forward to meeting people, whose posts I have been reading!

karenchocolat

Posted by: karenchocolat at November 2, 2007 1:57 PM

Hi Meegymeegs,

I feel very sorry that there are guys out there that give the genuine guys a bad rap. However, guys that prey on women generally look for situations where there are likely to be desperate or vulnerable women; and RSVP (and similar sites) are just their natural hunting grounds - its llike a smorgasbord to them. Image, every woman here is looking for a guy - its a meat market to these types.

The only advice I can give you is this. Work out who you are first and what you want from a relationship. Stick by your principles; and dont give it up until you are ready mentally, that will weed out the characters who are contacting you looking for a quick score - make them wait.

You have already met one of these guys and stuck by your values; so remember this old saying and it might help - "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me".

Good luck, but remember there are genuine guys on these sites, you just have to work it all out over time.

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at November 2, 2007 1:42 PM

Any sydneysiders please let us know if you are interested in a Sydney get together so we can try to organise a time and venue to suit everyone!
Hi Woodnwine....great to see you back on the blogs...hope you had a great holiday!

Posted by: brilliantblue at November 2, 2007 12:42 PM

funlovertoo - unfortunately I missed lunch and didn't arrive 'till about 3pm but I heard the lunch was great. Good luck everyone with the Sydney meeting, I believe brilliantblue is keen to get something happening.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 2, 2007 11:38 AM

meegymeegs...if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Consider yourself lucky.
Also, I agree with thelynathdiary that the leading up the garden path reference in your profile is an open invite to path leader-uppers. Lovely photo by the way.
woodnwine...I hear the yum cha was a success.

Posted by: funlovertoo at November 2, 2007 8:18 AM

The bloggers meeting in Melbourne was great, pity I arrived late and missed meeting some of you but I had already booked my flight before I knew about the meeting. Now I have to try and ctach up with what has been going on in the blogs - could be a big job.

Posted by: woodnwine at November 2, 2007 1:35 AM

meegymeegs, have read your dating dilemma and have the following thoughts.
The internet communication method is somewhat limited and it is very easy for misunderstandings to occur.
I am not sure if times have really changed all that much with men trying for sex asap, except that now women do it too!

I firmly believe that when the right person comes along you will both be "in sync" as to the pace setting for a relationship.

Perhaps in this case you were a bit impatient as it is very easy to get swept away with the idea of romance especially if you haven't experienced any for some time. You might have given out desperate vibes regarding follow up time frames.
Going back to words on an internet site being open to misinterpretation, I would suggest you might change a couple of words on your profile. the "I am easily lead up the garden path"bit....could be misinterpreted as "I am open to anything" and might be attracting men you don't want to attract.
My first profile had the words "likes fun times' or similar in it...until someone pointed out that on the Internet they had an entirely different meaning.

I am sure the right guy will be there for you soon.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 31, 2007 11:00 PM

Ninaschen, Ninashen, Ninaschen,

Thanks for the vote of confidence, you Latrobe Valley Lovely.

Guess who is coming to Melbourne? (big yawn of disinterest from the blogging fraternity)

Guess who is not coming? (big sigh of disappointment from her legion of fans)

Oh well, you can't please everyone

Posted by: rocco61 at October 31, 2007 10:56 PM

I really don't have anything to say, I just want to see if I have to go through the initiation process or if I get there instantly!!
Can't say I find anything much of interest in the blogs these days, must be getting old and cantankerous.
Happy Boffday belatedly Ninaschen, am trying to come up with the perfect present, but I'm struggling. Chocolate Body Paint, mebbe? Keeping an eye on Tiger Air for a cheapie for Dec 1, but so far it's not looking good. If Mr Lotto pulls a rabbit out of the hat this week, I'll be there with bells on.
I feel like an outsider these days when I nip in for a quick read of the blogs. I've been to Carolina in my mind....or somewhere else....no kisses sent or received for a long time, my negvibes must be leaking into cyberspace. Need some positive feedback to get me out of my Crankypants.

Posted by: tishb at October 31, 2007 10:22 PM

CS/RSVP/Ivan/Whoever - Please let Rocco post in 'real-time'! I will vouch for him. If he proves himself unworthy, you can take your pound of flesh from me. You can punish me by putting me back in the queue of 'newbies' (a punishment that would be excruciating, so I don't make this sacrifice lightly). A suggestion - go back and do a search of postings made by people such as Rocco, KarenChocolat, JuneBaby etc. and check for yourselves that they are, all in all, inoffensive.

The blogs are becoming stale and I am sure everyone is getting sick of reading the comments of a 'select' few.

Posted by: ninaschen at October 31, 2007 9:07 PM

RSVP,

"meegymeegs" has been on RSVP one week and gets "real time" posting on her first blog.
What about the rest of us.

What have I ever said that excludes me and others for that matter?

*******************************************************
[CS] Member Meegymeegs had technical issues posting their blog entry, so they requested their post through RSVP Staff after it was checked.

Members on the Trusted list will get real time postings, others will need to wait for their entries to be approved. Unfortunately we do not have the staff to approve all blog entries in real time. We are doing our best to approve your entries as soon as we can, please be patient and we hope you continue to enjoy using our blogs.
*******************************************************

Posted by: rocco61 at October 31, 2007 4:40 PM

If anyone has some advice it would be greatly appreciated...(lil bit about age, dating)

I joing RSVP last week. It's been three years since my ex & we were together 7 years. So I am quite new to all this dating stuff... When I felt my heart was ready (approx. 12 mths) I started "dating" again. If that's what you call it.... I've learnt the hard way & very quickly that "most" (NOT "all" guys) are after 1 thing! There seems to be a "hit-it & quit-it" mentality that is possibly equally rife through men & women in the singles scene. I am even surprised that many RSVP profiles are thinly veiled attempts to get SEX! I have heard there are other sites for that kinda thing & I thought RSVP was for singles genuinely seeking a partner & wanting to date...(you can't always rely on 1st impressions)...

I admit, the last 2 yrs have been tough (fun but tough). I completely sympathise with all the singles out there trying to find "The One" but not even that...all of us who can't even find someone "decent" that wants to hang-around a lil & get to know you... I totally underestimated it! I thought I'm an attractive, smart gal with a gsoh, financially secure & grounded - how difficult could it be...? LOL!! When I go out generally the guys that speak to me are 19-24 (I do look younger than my age). I actually approached this guy who was 28 & I loved how he said all the right things. I thought he was wonderful... I gave him my no. & heard from him via text 4 mths later. I must have made such a great impression for him to contact me so FAST! Then he wonders why I'm a tad mad...?

I have danced salsa for around 5 yrs & not once have I mixed it with a relationship. I don't think it's such a great idea as you have to see the person socially wk after wk if things go bad! Recently, I made an exception when I met a lovely guy, who I found very attractive (although he's not who I would normally be interested in). From the moment I saw him I was very keen... I found out we had quite a bit in common & he's really nice to talk to! Cutting a long-story short we kissed after salsa one night. I was over the moon!

I can't remember kissing like that for a very, very long time!! He was far exceeding my expectations & I thought we were off to a great start BUT...there's always a BUT!! I was kinda holding back as I wanted to get to know him more etc... I really didn't want to ruin things or do something I may regret later... He actually had me in the palm of his hand... If he said bark like a dog I (almost) would have! I haven't even wanted a guy to stick around (since my ex for the last 10 yrs) & I thought I should be careful here...(haven't seen many "keepers") Now I wonder if doing that kinda thing would 'bite me in the butt' time after time....? PLUS aren't guys mostly unimpressed when they get what they want too easily...?

Perhaps I'd made him to be something so wonderful in my mind & I came crashing back to reality when I found out he's "just like all the rest". Basically, he ignored me & 2.5 days later I emailed him..."Are you leaving me in suspense out of necessity or is this part of your cunning plan....?". He explained he thought we "wanted different things" because I had to go & (thank God we only kissed) & he must have thought 'I won't get what I want from this girl!' Do guys really expect girls to give it up instantly!!?? If he'd just hung around for 5 mins....geez! ;-P To say the least I was very disappointed & felt he'd misread me & assumed so much without any evidence. I tried to 'wave a white flag' & say sorry because I did overreact etc... But it's way too late - I've completely burnt the bridge. He's obviously not for me but I feel upset that the moment I start holding back with someone I think has potential - all of a sudden too late.... He doesn't feel the way I was feeling toward him...perhaps I simply didn't "float his boat" so to speak...

I understand he's a jerk but should I get used to this...? Is this what "dating" in 2007 is all about... Do any women or men share a similar experience??

Posted by: meegymeegs at October 31, 2007 3:26 PM

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
20 kgs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in year 9.
Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.

What's the difference between a porcupine and a police car?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
'Are you sure it's mine?'

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What's the difference between an Australian zoo and an English zoo?
An Australian zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... 'a recipe..'

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern USA fairytale and a southern USA fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time...'
A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit...'

Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 30, 2007 10:58 PM

lordthingie: Can't say I've noticed Tracey....I have, however, noticed that someone is using a publicity pic of one of our politicians...mmmmm...wonder who?

Posted by: hiddencharms at October 30, 2007 9:54 PM

I can say that as I've got older the range I'll date in has expanded over time. As someone born on the cusp of Gen X and Gen Y (and probably leaning slightly towards Gen Y in how my head is wired), I tend to find I have more in common with slightly younger women than slightly older women, but this is not a deal breaker if an older woman has interests in common with me.

Five years ago, I would only date within around 5 years of my own age. These days I'll stretch as far as around 8-10, depending on the person and their level of emotional and intellectual maturity.

Posted by: gedintolife at October 30, 2007 9:39 AM

I am sure I meant aspersion (note to self, don't blog before completetion of first morning coffee).

Posted by: trumanscat at October 30, 2007 7:59 AM

umm. Won't be coming to Melbourne afterall mob, other priorities at present.
Maybe Womadelaide 7th to 9th of March?

Posted by: trumanscat at October 30, 2007 7:56 AM

martingale1. Absurd to have described the women on the blogs as submissive, yet another blanket ascertain over the majority.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 30, 2007 7:54 AM

Don't want to intrude.

But could I say a quick hello to the cabaret singer Tracey Leigh, whose face I notice occasionally on these pages.

Stay cool Tracey. Keep doing what you do best. And you could send me your latest CD. Ta

Posted by: lordcholmondeley at October 30, 2007 7:04 AM

Pride of erin??
think thats called the tracey leigh waltz these days, or maybe the charmaine waltz..
Im more into the latin stuff and ones like the quickstep and foxtrot....very hard to learn but great fun

Posted by: auntykaz at October 29, 2007 9:27 PM

Miserableoldcow,
Sorry about the rejection kiss, I gather now that it was just a blogger kiss?

Junebaby, maybe us outsiders need a blog of our own that is moderated and everybody(including newbies and excluding blog swamping "real time" gang members) could post and share thoughts.
Or perhaps the priviledged few could limit themselves to one blog instead filling every blog.

Failing this the outsiders should try one of the less used blogs like Deal Makers, I got posted in the same day on that one, got so excited I wet my pants.

David

Posted by: rocco61 at October 29, 2007 9:02 PM

auntykaz: Terry keeps telling me he'll take me out on one of his big dancing nights...I think I can remember the Pride of Erin...? The Nuns tried to teach me years ago...More a boot-scootin' gal...

Posted by: hiddencharms at October 29, 2007 9:02 PM

Cool hiddencharms no offence taken trust me.
I'll go put my dancing shoes on with a pretty skirt and do some rumba practicing. Or maybe samba. Or maybe cha cha.

I do have some practicing to do (she says in a deadpan voice).......k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 29, 2007 8:48 PM

junebaby: I did try for that get together...Terry had an accident and David wanted to clear his undie drawer....then I forgot (Terry was supposed to liaise)...sorry...maybe next time, with a bit more co-ordination on the Bris side?

Posted by: hiddencharms at October 29, 2007 8:05 PM

auntykaz: No offence at anyone or any dancers was meant, I'm sure. Merely passed on his message. It is a long running joke with Terry or Datelessnotdesperate, as he likes to ogle the youngies...

Posted by: hiddencharms at October 29, 2007 7:55 PM

Somelifeinmeyet

Where were you?
I have never ever been stood up!!!
The Big Macs were too cold to eat and the chips got soggy.
I ended up shopping in Bunnings buying 3 4litres of Dulux low sheen
3 brushes a paint tray and two covers with one roller.
All in all it was a very expensive experience and now instead of being in Melbourne wining and dining I am at home climbing the walls.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 29, 2007 7:30 PM

To the "fotographer"don't worry about the spoil sports who said you are just "cutting and pasting from a joke site"...ignore them, and KEEP posting them, I enjoy them and so do my daughters,( and many )

Keep up the jokes, ignore the dead boring "R.S.P.C.A, joiners from Byron bay" LOL!! LOL!!!!

Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at October 29, 2007 7:01 PM

Ouch hiddencharms best l get my bottle of magic silver white out and join the blus rinsers on the dancefloor!!!!
Not all ballroomers are rinsers you know.

Ohhh now l feel positively ancient.........k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 29, 2007 5:34 PM

Hi Guys, have just come back from a lovely weekend at the coast, partying and celebrating a friends birthday. We even saw a pod of whales go past when we were at the headland at Narooma, I was so impressed.

Being away at the coast has recharged my batteries, so I feel like I am me again.

You rock Rocco61, I fully agree about the posting of messages in the blogs that you wrote on Oct 26.

Karenchocolat and Ninaschen, Thank you for your kind thoughts re my older son going to Iraq, it is appreciated.

I don't know when you guys are planning the next bloggers get together, but I am interested and will try to attend.

And FYI, that one we tried to get together in Brisbane when I was there for work in September, didn't actually work out. Hello to Terry, glad to hear that he is well, as he did think it was a good idea at the time.

Have a lovely evening...jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at October 28, 2007 6:59 PM

The idea of woodnwine being a gang leader is hilarious. He is usually supportive of the women on here. Having read the postings of the women on these blogs, who would believe that we would be submissive to anyone?
Should be a great laugh for woodnwine when he comes back- a good laugh at the end of a holiday is always good.

Rocco61
It was good to see your post- I have missed them. Hopefully RSVP will make it easier to get posted more quickly though I can understand their dilemma.

RSVP- could you at least post our comments at the top of the blog-it is hard being lost way back in the blog when it finally gets there as no-one ever realises you have written.

karenchocolat

Posted by: karenchocolat at October 28, 2007 3:08 PM

Malsie: Just read your posting 22 October, re Terry, David and I travelling south together....who could imagine...? I got a good laugh out of trying to picture us all! I'd have to take my spade, so I could belt him around the ears a couple of times...and, of course my Rescue From Gilligan's Island dvd...(Hi again, Muffin - ha ha)

Seriously, if I can't convince the man to leave his beloved SC for 1 night for dinner (with Terry, myself and any other interested SEQers) how would I entice him further south? Maybe somone with more "charm" than I...? Better still, haul yourselves up here and we might be able to dress him up, tie him up and drag him out by the ears...??? Now there's a thought...Nah! He'd enjoy it too much!

Oh! Speaking of Terry - he's recovered nicely from his accident and is busy chasing the blue-rinse set at ballroom dancing! Says hello to all.

Thanks for the giggle. Had a busy week. Needed it!

Posted by: hiddencharms at October 27, 2007 12:48 PM

woodnwine last spotted(an hour ago in fact) leaving the Huon Valley and heading back up to north Tassie - for anyone interested! Great to finally meet him - I'm looking forward to meeting others soon!!

Why Rocco and others who have been blogging for some while, and who've never written anything offensive, can't immediately post is truly mystifying...

Posted by: malsie at October 27, 2007 12:44 PM

Agree hiddencharms rocco has been on here for ages just not in the recent timeframe, can't see why postings shouldn't be immediate for all, moderaters could possibly monitor and delete???

I dunno but it is an annoying thing if you have to wait and will put people off..... after all as someone said earlier we are supposed to be adults.

Well most of the time anyway.........k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 27, 2007 12:35 PM

& as for the GANG paranoia.......

OMG..
It's a bust!!

QUICK QUICK everyone to their shoephones- we need to discuss Strategy......

hahahaha
love&lightenup!
decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at October 27, 2007 12:02 PM

.... hahaha ha HAHA HA!!

I just read the theory of wood&wine being the Master of the Sumissive BlogWomen.......

made. my. day.

decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at October 27, 2007 11:52 AM

waterbombe: Rocco has been a regular blogger, for quite some time. He is, in fact, one of my favourite sparring partners (Hi Muffin!). His present inability to post in real time, or to have posts accepted, remains an engima (especially when whats-his-name manages to get on here and hog up space).

Funlover: I guess some people's idea of wit, fun, humour or general intelligence, does not run to whats-his-name's line (or multiple lines) of thinking...You may continue to enjoy his sarcastic stirring...I choose to ignore it....

Posted by: hiddencharms at October 27, 2007 11:28 AM

martingale1: You will find that many people "borrow" catch phrases from other peoples' profiles. They see something they like and use it as their own. Very un-original, and shows the lack of sincerity or thought some put into their profiles...but can be flattering to the original author, in a round-a-bout way...

Can't work out the attack on woodndnwine. He's hopefully, off enjoying himself and meeting new peoplw and has not been on the blogs for days and days...??? Oh! If you notice, woodnwine usually cops more flak from the bloggers than "gangland support"!

Posted by: hiddencharms at October 27, 2007 11:04 AM

Not sure why some are so totally anti lordcholmondeley.
His various profiles have been very entertaining, in my opinion. I think he's basically just a stirrer so bloggers shouldn't overreact to his comments.
martingale1 - the good lord is obviously using a line from woodnwine's profile as an in-joke.
The really obvious clue to his online identity is his taste in music.

The height is interesting - I'm due to meet an extremely tall blogger from interstate next week.
That blogger is currently visiting Queensland, from what he's written.
Hmmm....
Doesn't worry me one way or the other but could they be the same person?It could only happen in blogland...
Speaking of blogland, I agree that the fotografer is posting way too many cut n paste jokes and that we could look them up on joke sites if we could be bothered.

Posted by: funlovertoo at October 27, 2007 10:45 AM

fotoman: Thanks for the list. Saved me a consult with the doctor. My hormone levels must be fine, according to you and your infinite wisdom.

Same can be said for those lacking in testosterone...they lash out at anyone who usurps their manhood...sound familiar?

Posted by: hiddencharms at October 27, 2007 10:43 AM

No offence taken Rocco and it puzzles me as to why you can’t post in 'real time'. You have been around for a lot longer than many others whose posts appear immediately. And you haven't been at all offensive.

I appreciate the fact that RSVP has faith in me and allows my opinions to be posted uncensored. But this alienates others and interrupts the flow of 'conversations' if they are unable to have their opinion posted immediately.

I don’t know what the answer is. I know I would hate to go back to the time of waiting days for something to be posted and then waiting days for someone else to respond. It was incredibly stilted and frustrating. Posting in 'real time' is liberating. Perhaps RSVP needs to take a leap of faith and trust everyone until such time as they prove themselves to be untrustworthy. I imagine it is a dilemma for management but one that has been resolved and seems to work OK on other sites.

We are all adults here and if the occasional obscenity or offensive post is made, I am sure we can cope and RSVP can delete them as appropriate.

Posted by: ninaschen at October 27, 2007 1:06 AM

Just lost my post so here goes again!!!
Hopped on for a quick sticky and wow.. Gang inuendo is still rife...

Woodnwine.. A gangleader.. excuse me while I pick myself up off the floor. He's going to split his sides when he gets back next week and reads all this.. What a hoot...
What about the submissive ladies?? You need to meet us martingale.. Couldn't be further from the truth.. I'm choking!!!

Top post weta.. He'll love it.. You don't say much but when you do it's good.

Rocco.. you used to post a lot.. Just keep at it and you'll be fine.. It's all since the nasties happened so needs time to sort out.. Nothing personal..

Waterbombe(still getting used to this new name) a great post.. Explains it to some... Maybe!!!
Good luck for the weekend!!

Fotografer... I need to go redo my profile.. Some of those abbrev's are on it.. Damn...

Hey K.. I've got mango's !!!

Good to see you back funlovertoo..

Going again.. Happy blogging.. "G" X X

Posted by: amdoingit at October 26, 2007 11:36 PM

Dear ed...where is my post (yesterday) am i not one of the annointed?...the blogs are becoming exceedingly boring...and like everyone I would like my voice heard...how about it...open the blogs to realtime...

Yours

Miserableoldcow

Posted by: miserableoldcow at October 26, 2007 10:35 PM

naaahhhh Martingale1.....woodnwine woodn be seen dead in the company of lordwhomeverheisthisweek.....

...whilst rancid ageist babbling is the lord's forte.....it is the antithesis of woodnwines's demeanour....

Posted by: weta at October 26, 2007 10:00 PM

martingale maybe those who correspond with woodwine respect the fact that he is actually on holiday? Duh!............k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 26, 2007 9:50 PM

Just popping in quickly, I have date No. 2 this evening!!! (with the same guy!!!!)

Yes I did mean woodnwine as the 'leader' - perhaps I'm just overinterpreting the signs of female submissiveness because after all, I wrote the book on having a controlling father. But as to whether I'm wrong, well, lets just see how the ladies behave when woodnwine comes back.

Or, is he already back? I couldnt help noticing that the main narrative of Lordthingy's profile starts with exactly the same words as woodnwine's. Is this his holiday persona?

Posted by: martingale1 at October 26, 2007 9:40 PM

rocco61, a year ago I started a blog, and very democratically had it open to the whole world for anyone to post on, unmoderated. It got hit by so many pornographic comments (words, not pics) that I was soon spending an hour a day deleting them (remember, I wasn't reading comments first because I didn't want to "choose" who could post). After about 6 months, I gave up and deleted the site - I didn't have the time to delete all the comments. This is why RSVP moderates- they can't see what's in your post until they actually read it. They scan for all the norty words, but there are so many ways for people to fool computer scans that posts have to be individually read.

There is not a privileged 'club' on here. This is how it works: there are some people who repeatedly post comments that are fairly 'safe' and after a while a moderator figures that this person is not going to turn into a rabid porno poster, and so allows their comments through unchecked- it saves the moderator some time. (Reading blogs is not the best job in the world).
The less often you blog the less likely the moderator is to remember you, and the longer you will have to wait until you are assumed to be a safe blogger. Blog frequently and considerately and you will get posted fairly quickly. There's the trick- no 'club' membership required!

And another thing, when I started blogging I had to wait days to be posted too, of course, so why do you think you should jump straight in without going through a safe-blogger check? Believe me, if these blogs had the stuff on them I found on my 'public' blog, no one would be reading them at all. Well, no one I'd like to meet.

Posted by: waterbombe at October 26, 2007 9:33 PM

chummers, dahhhling, I've had quite a bit to do with AmandaD31's generation, and they're not all the same, oddly....

But here's the thing - I thought you said AmandaD31 was a profile, not a person?

Posted by: waterbombe at October 26, 2007 9:10 PM

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-"
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space."
8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than SuperPlus.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY a WOMAN UNDERSTANDS

10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One, Number One thing only a woman understands:

1. OTHER WOMEN

Posted by: thefotografer at October 26, 2007 7:21 PM

HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? or twice?
SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must've been given your share.

^ Top Of Page ^

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HE : Is this seat empty?
SHE : Yes, and this one willbe if you sit down.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HE : So, what do you do for a living?
SHE : I'm a female impersonator

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HE : Hey baby, whats you sign?
SHE : Do not enter

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HE : Your body is like a temple.
SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HE : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE : If I saw you naked, I'd probaly die laughing.

^ Top Of Page ^

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HE : Where have you been all my life?
SHE : Where I'll be the reset of your life in your wildest dreams.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a posh restaurant,
and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin
as she sits alone at a nearby table, until the wife asks,

"Do you know her?"

"Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

^ Top Of Page ^

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Other Jokes not about dating

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Patient : Doctor Doctor,
I broke my arm in two places.

Doctor :
Well stay out of those places then.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the recent futuristic baby born?
It was cordless.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walks into a clothing shop,
He asks for the cheapest trousers in the shop.

The shop assistant replys; you are wearing them

Posted by: thefotografer at October 26, 2007 6:45 PM

HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 26, 2007 6:43 PM

mr lord ..... nursey pursey or earl whatever does it for you you are taking up air space

Posted by: chad1958 at October 26, 2007 6:38 PM

Conspiracy theories seem to have run wild here.

"just look for the person who claims to have it all"...The profile (I use the word profile and not "person") OneWithTheLot58 fits the bill to the tee but is NOT Amandad31. Nor is CynicalandAnonymous who is a much older woman. And no doubt there are others who fit the same description, sad though it may be. It is a post modernistic post feministic phenomenon.

Anyone who has had any dealing with her generation would realise that Amandad31 was being herself and herself only. For better or worse, her attitudes are shared by a lot of her own generation.

Posted by: lordcholmondeley at October 26, 2007 6:03 PM

To the "fotografer", I enjoyed both the "Ways to get out of a blind date" postings and the both male and female "Real meanings of Abbreviations in personal Ads" that you posted, all very funny!

(Just as well though that you covered mens and women's abbreviations though, so that no one would attack you for being sexist!...Smart move!

from.."Somelifeinmeyet"

Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at October 26, 2007 4:51 PM

junebaby57

No matter what their age we are always mothers to our children- and spend much of lives concerned about them. It is so hard to let them go- especially if you feel it might be into harms way.
Don't ever feel that you can't share on here.

I will be thinking about your situation and feeling for you. Stay positive. Send him away with all your love-in the long run that is all we can do.

karenchocolat

Posted by: karenchocolat at October 26, 2007 2:58 PM

if not a bmw then maybe a years supply of stamps........almost equivalent value........

Posted by: twoeyes at October 26, 2007 2:26 PM

Good one Decoratress….like your sense of humour!
Shouldn't be too hard just look for the person who claims to have it all!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 26, 2007 12:35 PM

haha...

amandad31 will be back I'm sure, under a new name.

RSVP- please put up a prize (a shiny new bmw would be good) for the first to spot him/her/it on his/her/its return to the blogs... YAY... a competitition!?!

love&peace
decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at October 26, 2007 11:34 AM

So amandad31 has vanished...excellent!
I just didn't want to read the blogs or contribute with all that useless conflict happening.

Am thinking of going to the food and wine festival Saturday afternoon in Sydney.
Any vintage bloggers interested?
(Reposting because the screen froze).

Posted by: funlovertoo at October 26, 2007 9:29 AM

Thefotografer....I think you just got your answer!

They say when someone constantly accuses another of a wrong doing its usually a reflection of their themselves!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 26, 2007 7:53 AM

Amanadad31.

You made some fair comments initially relating to the bloggers. Then you made your posts, while not directly targeting anyone, slamming the community that has been established here. It may not be to your liking but making comments such as "teen gang", "pillocks", "scooby gang" etc has not endeared you to any but some.
And there is absolutely nothing wrong with honesty but the way it is used & the intention behind it, it does not have to be used as a blunt weapon.

Wishing you well & hoping you find what you are looking for.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 26, 2007 7:42 AM

Amandad31....fanastic!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 26, 2007 7:34 AM

No offence to the "Gang" (I actually like you guys)

There is a gang in the blogs, a select few chosen by RSVP, on what basis I'm not entirely sure.
I received an email response from RSVP to my query about the blogs
I was informed that a small group was chosen to have their blogs posted without moderation and the rest of us would have to wait. If us "outsiders" wish to become preferred bloggers then we need to be regular commenters and have a clear record of comments ect.
As GratitudeGirl noted in another blog, why would one bother to contribute regularly if your blogs don't get posted or as is the case now, get posted two days later and retro slotted down the blog to match the posting time where they don't read or responded to because they are buried beneath the crap that the gang has posted in the ensueing period.
Stuff like trivia questions, ongoing jokes, private conversations.
I know this is not the fault of the gang, the fault lies with RSVP, who have not been able to effectively maintain the blogs since day one and have been slow and reluctant to make changes.

The reality is joining the small gang is of no use. How many are there? 12, out of the whole of Australia, who have their own chat room. If I get in that's 13, if Junebaby and BrushKestrel get in that's 15, ect, ect.
Big deal, no new blood , no dynamic, no open forum available to all just a small band going stale.
With regard to immediate postings, why not all or none. We either all get posted in real time or we all wait ( those posting inappropriate comments would be banned)
I won't post again until it is fixed and would encourage other outsiders to do likewise so as to allow this blog to wither and die and hopefully be resurrected as it should be, ie, open to all.
( Note posting time, prior to work, hopefully it will be modereted early and therefore not buried and maybe even read)

Posted by: rocco61 at October 26, 2007 5:14 AM

I am happy, very happy...just honest and you guys on here cannot take that.

I am honest about who I am.....I think its you guys who need to look at yourselves...and why you feel you have to be like a teen gang and behave like such pillocks.

I wont be back on here again, its laughable, am even deleting myself from the site as clearly, if this is the calibre of people, you guys arent fit to wipe my........assuming you all know what I was about to say.

Good luck all

Posted by: amandad31 at October 26, 2007 5:10 AM

Really hilarious "thefotographer' about the real meaning of abbreviations in singles ads!Did you write it yourself, as i noticed that some of them were pet peeves of yours that you had mentioned in other blogs?????

The scary part was that as I was laughing I realised that some of them are actually true, and so then I laughed even harder!

I can hardly wait to read it out to my daughters tomorrow!

We exchange jokes together daily, and I am sure that they will love to pass this one on to all their friends!

We are a very humorous family,because we appreciate being alive each day,( and because we appreciate life, we are able to enjoy its ironies and foibles!

Too many people take being alive for granted... I think thery may need some REAL tragedy..(not their petty litle imagined woes), so that they can learn to smile.!!!

From.."Somelifeinmeyet"

Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at October 26, 2007 1:01 AM

If this gets on in real time, I will faint, my Sunday morning stuff took over 24 hours to post, which is abysmal as that fight, with insults, was posted all day. I tried to post this morning 25 Oct at 7.20am, but tonight at 12.22am , still no joy. I am extremely disillusioned with this unfair and discriminating � Moderation Process� that the Ed tells us all blogs go thru.!!!! That is blatantly not true as messages are going on in real time, any sane person can see that, messages get posted as I write!!

The blogs should be posted as they are written, from the queue. That way, if people make comments and responses to a thought, they are valid and relevant when they are posted.

RSVP has in fact created the gang, by letting the same people post live, and the rest of us 24 hours later!

The way it is at the moment is bullsxxt . Basically I am almost ready to give up. It is a shame as when I found the blogs in June, I thought they were a fantastic idea.

I am in contact with thefotografer, so hopefully I will get to find out about the proposed blog fests�.happy blogging all�.jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at October 26, 2007 12:32 AM

saying.."I would rather have one rose and a kind word , while I am still here and alive, than a truckload of roses when I am dead at my funeral".

From.."Somelifeinmeyet"

Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at October 25, 2007 11:05 PM

The Real Meaning of Abbreviations in Personal Ads - Part I
Ads From Women
40-ish = 48
Adventurer = Has had more partners than you ever will
Athletic = Flat-chested
Average looking = Ugly
Beautiful = Pathological liar
Contagious Smile = Bring your penicillin
Educated = College dropout
Emotionally Secure = Medicated
Feminist = Fat; ball buster
Free spirit = Substance user
Friendship first = Trying to live down reputation as slut
Fun = Annoying
Gentle = Comatose
Good Listener = Borderline Autistic
New-Age = All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned = Lights out, missionary position only
Open-minded = Desperate
Outgoing = Loud
Passionate = Loud
Poet = Depressive Schzophrenic
Professional = Real Witch
Redhead = Shops the Clairol section
Reubenesque = Grossly Fat
Romantic = Looks better by candle light
Voluptuous = Very Fat
Weight proportional to height = Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate = One step away from stalking
Widow = Nagged first husband to death
Young at heart = Toothless crone

Posted by: thefotografer at October 25, 2007 11:03 PM

The Real Meaning Behind Abbreviations in Personal Ads - Part II
Ads From Men
40-ish = 52 and looking for 25-year-old
Athletic = Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
Average looking = Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, and back
Educated = Will always treat you like an idiot
Free Spirit = Sleeps with your sister
Friendship first = As long as friendship involves nudity
Fun = Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking = Arrogant
Honest = Pathological Liar
Huggable = Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Like to cuddle = Insecure, overly dependent
Mature = Until you get to know him
Open-minded = Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested
Physically fit = I spend a lot of time in front of mirror admiring myself
Poet = Has written on a bathroom stall
Spiritual = Once went to church with his grandmother on Easter
Sunday Stable = Occasional stalker, but never arrested
Thoughtful = Says "Please" when demanding a bee

Posted by: thefotografer at October 25, 2007 11:00 PM

50 Ways to Get Out of a Blind Date - Part II

26. After getting your food, slide under the table. Take your plate with you.

27. Order a baked potato. When the waiter brings your food, hide the potato, wait a few minutes, and ask the waiter for the potato you "never got." When the waiter returns with another potato, have the first one back on your plate.

28. Order beef tongue. Make lewd comparisons or comments about it.

29. Get your date drunk. Talk about their philosophy and tape the conversation. Later use good judgment in editing to twist their words around.

30. Discuss boils and lesions, as if from personal experience.

31. Occasionally speak in Pig Latin throughout the meal.

32. Take a break, and go into the restroom. When you return to the table, throw a spare pair of underwear on the back of one of the chairs. Tell your date, "They need to air out."

33. Order for your date. Order more food then he/she can possible eat. Tell them they "must eat it all or suffer the consequences."

34. If they are paying, order the most expensive thing on the menu. Take one bite, pretend like the food is disgusting and say, "Man, did you get ripped off!"

35. Bring twenty candles with you to the restaurant. During the meal get up and arrange them around the table in a circle. Chant.

36. Save the bones from your meal, and explain that you're taking them home to your invalid, senile old mother, because it's a lot cheaper than actually feeding her.

37. Ask your date how much money they have with them.

38. Refuse to speak to your date. Request that they mime the conversation instead.

39. During dinner guard your plate with your fork and steak knife. Give the impression that you'll stab anyone, including the waiter, reaching for it.

40. Collect all of the salt shakers from tables surrounding yours. Use them to build a tower on your table.

41.Wipe your nose on your date's sleeve. Twice.

42.Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions.

43. Repeat every third third word you say say.

44. Proudly explain to your date that you were voted "Most Festerous" in your high school yearbook. Give examples of why it was appropriate.

45. Read a newspaper, book or listen to a book on tape during the meal.

46. Order your food by colors and textures. Sculpt.

47. Insist that the waiter cut your food into little pieces.

48. Insist that the waiter take one bite from everything served to you. Explain that you need to make sure no one has poisoned your food.

49. Accuse your date of espionage. Pretend you have a secret microphone hidden on your body and you are talking the CIA.

50. Don't use any verbs during the entire meal.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 25, 2007 10:48 PM

saying:.."We do not stop playing because we are old, we grow old, because we stop playing"

From.."Somelifeinmeyet"

Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at October 25, 2007 10:48 PM

50 Ways to Get Out of a Blind Date - Part I
1. Pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when your date begins talking about himself/herself.
2. When ordering, inquire whether the restaurant has any live food.
3. Without asking, eat off of your date's plate. Eat more from their plate than they do.
4. Chew with your mouth open, talk with your mouth full, and spray crumbs. If a crumb lands anywhere near your date, pick up the crumb, put it in your mouth and say, "I'm all about conservation."
5. Eat everything on your plate within 30 seconds of it being placed in front of you.
6. Excuse yourself to use the restroom. Go back to the head waiter/hostess and ask for another table in a different part of the restaurant. Order another meal. When your date finally finds you, ask them, "What took you so long in the bathroom?"
7. Recite graphic limericks to the people at the table next to you.
8. Ask the people at neighboring tables for food from their plates.
9. Beg your date to tattoo your name on their derriere. Keep bringing the subject up periodically throughout the meal.
10. Order a bucket of lard.
11. Ask for crayons to color the placemat. You'll need to be extra persuasive in fancier restaurants with linen tablecloths.
12. Howl and whistle at women's legs, especially if you are female.
13. Recite your dating history. Improvise. Include pets and relatives.
14. Upon entering the restaurant, ask for a seat away from the windows, with a good view of all exits, and where your back will be facing a wall. Act nervous.
15. Lick your plate. Offer to lick your date's.
16. Hum. Loudly. In monotone.
17. Stare at your date's neck and grind your teeth audibly.
18. Twitch spastically. If asked about it, pretend you don't know what they are talking about.
19. Drool.
20.Stand up every five minutes, circle your table with your arms outstretched, and make airplane sounds.
21. Sacrifice french fries to a Pagan god.
22. Discretely fill your pockets with sugar packets, napkins, salt shakers, silverware, floral arrangements, etc.
23. Hold a debate. Take both sides.
24. Undress your date verbally.
25. Attempt to auction your date off to people nearby.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 25, 2007 10:45 PM

Reply to "pinoitnoir1952"..well "the fotographer" thought my daughter's jokes were funny! What's wrong with you? You take things too seriously!...(I bet "Thefotograher" will find a woman sooner than you, because at least he has a sense of humour and can think up word games too!!!

So there!! LOL!!!

From.."Somelifeinmeyet"

Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at October 25, 2007 10:37 PM

good one Malsie

Posted by: thefotografer at October 25, 2007 10:28 PM

Thefotografer�.interested�did you get a reply from �MsIvegotitall�

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 25, 2007 10:04 PM

Very funny somelifeinmeyet

This is for you.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that
morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Mary!
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh..... I was having sex!

Posted by: thefotografer at October 25, 2007 9:00 PM

Dear SomeLife...whatever (can't you come up with a name a bit more dignified).

That is a terrible piece of humour.

I notice you support those dreadful advertisements that seem to have originated from the bowels of one of those dreadful advertising agencies ( I hope it wasn't that ocker himself, how dreadful!).

So I presume your awful piece of humour relates to the nutcracker segment in one of those advertisements, or was it to the recent fine imposed on a barmaid for crushing a can between her unmentionables.

Posted by: pinotnoir1958 at October 25, 2007 6:01 PM

yet another funny thingthat was emailed to me by my daughter....(those young people sure know how to get the funny email stuff! )........Question: "What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?"..Answer' "If we don't get some support soon, people will think that we are nuts!"...LOL!!!

from "Somelifeinmeyet"

Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at October 25, 2007 4:46 PM

Here's something funny that was emailed to me by my daughter today..."The Girlfriends Prayer".."Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my shape to keep,please no wrinkles, please no bags,And please lift my butt before it sags!-----------Please no age spots,please no grey, And as for my belly, please take it away!-----Please keep me healthy, please keep me young,And thank you dear lord for all that you've done."
from .."Somelifeinmeyet"

Posted by: somelifeinmeyet at October 25, 2007 4:29 PM

hi, decoratress - that's exactly the connection I made about our previous "anonymous" blogger too! (wary of jumping to conclusions these days, though - interesting you had the same idea!)

thefotgrafer - this one's for you: I'm a court reporter, and the funniest court "funny" that I've come across in my time was the following (counsel to somewhat thick witness...)

COUNSEL: Did she tell you about her menstrual cycle at the time when you picked her up?

WITNESS: Well, yeah, but I just told her to pop it in the back of the ute....

Posted by: malsie at October 25, 2007 2:04 PM

notgodsgift
Give me a break mate, I am not here to trade insults with someone like you. All I said is keep the blog to the subject thats all. What ever you think its fine by me. No more comments from me no matter what is said.

Posted by: six2512 at October 25, 2007 1:19 PM

sorry boys and girls,
off to the shower,should be in Sydney around 5 pm

Posted by: thefotografer at October 25, 2007 12:38 PM

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

Posted by: thefotografer at October 25, 2007 12:20 PM

nice hair colour SS and funny audio...............

Posted by: twoeyes at October 25, 2007 11:53 AM

Hey Six2512,

Any comments you make to BB just look like sour grapes and are irrelevant now that she has blown your cover - cant believe that you wouldn't have realised that. Look on the bright side though, I sent her a kiss a few weeks back and got flicked straight away, unfortunately thats just an indication of her good taste!!!

BB be wary of the influx of Kisses, plenty of guys reading these blogs would see you as wounded and vulnerable and thinking there's an easy score for them.

Bob

Posted by: notgodsgift at October 25, 2007 11:14 AM

Welcome back from me too, decoratress. :)))

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 25, 2007 10:21 AM

Welcome back, Decoratress! You have been missed. Now, if we can send up smoke signals and entice Lurker back, things will liven up, even more!

Posted by: ninaschen at October 25, 2007 10:13 AM

To All Who Delight in Pedantic Nitpickery.....

....there's FUN to be had....

TheSpinStartsHere is an especially smart & entertaining blog site with a multitude of topics, and..
they have..

THE GRAMMAR DOME

..where you'll be sent for heinous grammar sins, & where they can be hilariously argued with fellow enthusiasts!
I thoroughly recommend it.

love&laughter
decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at October 25, 2007 10:04 AM

amandad31....

I've been off-blog for a couple of weeks..

Who are you?
You sound like cynical&anonymous to me..

'Wittering' is a good word, but not used three times in a short post.

I can be hilarious too...
can I join in?
Lovely to see you getting so much entertainment from these blogs!

love&don'tweknowyoufromsomewhere?
decoratress

Posted by: decoratress at October 25, 2007 9:56 AM

Amanda31.

Seeing I am resting my wallet for a while I have an idea,I only live 25 minutes away.
I will meet you at the Café de Beaumont.
I will pay of course, bring along all you credentials for my examination.

We will punch each other at the end of the meeting,you can hit me twice,the extra one for brightazure and then everyone on this blog will have to right you a letter of apologizes and together with some form of payment for damagers.
May I suggest the punishment should be in the form of making them walk down the main street of their City naked.
I think it would be a great photo opportunity for me as well 

Posted by: thefotografer at October 25, 2007 9:05 AM

Brilliantblue.

The missing word was abstemious now it is found plus an avalanche of new words.\\All the 4 dous words were found what a bright bunch of bunnies we have on this blog.

The missing word was “dreamt”

Here is a thought for the day,
If the population of China walked past you 8 abreast the line would never end because of repopulation.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 25, 2007 8:54 AM

Thanks for your brainteasers Thefotographer….a few of us had a bit of fun with it!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 25, 2007 8:28 AM

It would be great if you were struck by "lightening" as you typed, not lightning as you meant to type...lighten up, amandad31. As for the CV, I don't think anyone believes a word of it. If you had what you claim to have, you'd be happy. Now go and get a life you enjoy.

Posted by: waterbombe at October 25, 2007 8:12 AM

Amandad31….believe what ever you want to believe…I really don’t care nor am I going to waste my time arguing with you!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 25, 2007 8:04 AM

I just popped back on to take a peek at the blog today and noticed you guys are still wittering on....hilarious.

Okay, smelling a rat...........hand on heart, may I be struck my lightening if I am lying, I am all that I have said....if you guys dont believe that, then hey, if it makes your egos feel good and better about yourself and your failings in life, then by all means, go for it and call me al liar.

I am however, 100 percent honest and accurate about who I am.

However, it seems some of you seriously need to look at yourselves....good lord, the fact BB is still wittering on...just shows what kind of person she is, trying to collect support in my absence.

You started it darling, I finished it.......you still sit there wittering, get over it.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 25, 2007 5:22 AM

and in closing cameraman.....I'm reliably informed that aerious means "airy".....you could probably get that one in if you're an architect or interior designer...without sounding noblike.....

Posted by: weta at October 24, 2007 11:20 PM

happy snapper.....how about:

abstemious
abstemiously
abstentious
adventitious
adventitiously
arenicolous
arsenious
cavernicolous

and not forgetting:

abstemiousness
abstemiousnesses
adenocarcinomatous
amentiferous
anemophilous
antireligious
argentiferous
arteriovenous
autoecious
autoeciously
facetiousness
facetiousnesses
garnetiferous
sacrilegious
sacrilegiously
sacrilegiousness
sacrilegiousnesses
ultraserious

you gotta wonder though...how you can drop
'em into a sentence without sounding like a bit of a nob......

Posted by: weta at October 24, 2007 11:14 PM

....hazardous.....

Posted by: weta at October 24, 2007 11:05 PM

TC wisdom beats wit everytime in my book..........k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 24, 2007 10:48 PM

Chad its hard enough being seen alive in melbourne.......smiling.....k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 24, 2007 10:46 PM

Hey All. Something very beautiful to share with those that might appreciate it. And for those who don't? apologies, just pass it by.

Light On The Path

Regard the three truths. They are equal. These written above are the first of the rules which are written on the walls of the Hall of Learning. Those that ask shall have. Those that desire to read shall read. Those who desire to learn shall learn.

There are Three Truths which are absolute, and cannot be lost, but yet may remain silent for lack of speech.

The soul of man is immortal, and its future is the future of a thing whose growth and splendour has no limit.

The principle which gives life dwells in us, and without us, is undying and eternally beneficient, is not heard, or seen, or smelt, but is perceived by the man who desires perception.

Each man is his own absolute law-giver, the dispenser of glory or gloom to himself; the decreer of his life, his reward, his punish.

These Truths, which are as great as is life itself, are as simple as the simplest mind of man. Feed the hungry with them.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 24, 2007 10:46 PM

Trumper you will have to spread yourself round, no other way around it......k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 24, 2007 10:42 PM

Waterbombe....wasn't it you who said you smelt a rat! a little too unbelievable...well that was my impression right from the word go!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 24, 2007 10:41 PM

Now I'm off to watch Hugh Laurie in "House". *sighhhh*

Have a good night all. :)

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 24, 2007 10:38 PM

Trumanscat adelaide isnt far from melbourne and we have those jet engine things now as well as fast cars..........k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 24, 2007 10:37 PM

Did anyone catch spicks and specks on abc tonight?? funny show love adam hills and hamish blake.......k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 24, 2007 10:35 PM

Brilliant!

trumanscat at October 24, 2007 10:25 PM!!!!

:))))))))

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 24, 2007 10:35 PM

For anyone who is remotely interested (and it is to do with the topic,) secondary pic password is:

Out of hiding?

I've been trying to post the second, secondary pic for ages!

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 24, 2007 10:33 PM

Hey double O. Even if it's just you & me, come to Adelaide & we will have loads of fun.... Blessed Cheese winery tour sound good?

Posted by: trumanscat at October 24, 2007 10:25 PM

Well, Waterbombe! I was trying to avert an 'interstate war' but now you have gone and put your foot in it. You are right, we are much more youthful-looking than those from the sunny-side. With personalities to match. I suggest we duck. Around-about now!

Posted by: ninaschen at October 24, 2007 10:21 PM

raphael62 at October 24, 2007 4:28 PM, I think we're all having trouble posting this arvo/evening -my recent post has gone up three times!.

Had a giggle at your comment at October 24, 2007 4:28 PM. :)

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 24, 2007 10:20 PM

Lenseman....

.....facetious is one.......

Posted by: theundertoad at October 24, 2007 10:19 PM

Sorry about the "delayed" and double post...problems with the site I think.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 24, 2007 10:12 PM

Re posting by: waterbombe (nee MysticOcean) at October 24, 2007 9:43 AM,

"...maybe I'm just being suspicious...but I smell a rat."

I was wondering much the same thing while it was all going on...seeing as it was a Saturday night (not just afternoon or early evening) when some of us dateless people were blogging...

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 24, 2007 10:11 PM

Re posting by: waterbombe (nee MysticOcean) at October 24, 2007 9:43 AM,

"...maybe I'm just being suspicious...but I smell a rat."

I was wondering much the same thing while it was all going on...seeing as it was a Saturday night (not just afternoon or early evening) when some of us dateless people were blogging...

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 24, 2007 10:11 PM

i tried to post for half an hour this aftenoon and couldn't get on. ED- archive some of this blog, I beg you!

Ninaschen- be fair, the reason most bloggers are from Melbourne is because the weather is so bloody awful down here, we are all on our computers when people in the Outer States are sunbathing. That's why the women down here look 10 years younger than we are, too.

BB- forgive me if I'm mistaken, but didn't you offer Amandad31 a failrly thorough analysis of her character? What, it's ok for you to dish it out but not ok for you to take it? That said, I'm not saying another word. Enough! It was boring then and it's boring now.

Posted by: waterbombe at October 24, 2007 10:11 PM

Re posting by: waterbombe (nee MysticOcean) at October 24, 2007 9:43 AM,

"...maybe I'm just being suspicious...but I smell a rat."

I was wondering much the same thing while it was all going on...seeing as it was a Saturday night (not just afternoon or early evening) when some of us dateless people were blogging...

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 24, 2007 10:10 PM

This site sucks
I’m going to bed and listen to a cd on Patience.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 24, 2007 10:06 PM

I think in this instance we throw caution to the wind.... ( she says, eyes looking quite wild & in my opinion, scarey).

OK. I'll bring the berocca.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 24, 2007 10:05 PM

Oops! First six letters Fotografer!

Trumprider56 - My point exactly! Not nearly enough decent men to go around! And a special welcome to you!

Chad1958 - Does that mean we shouldn't wait lunch for you?

Posted by: ninaschen at October 24, 2007 10:04 PM

Amdoingit

That’s one

Posted by: thefotografer at October 24, 2007 10:04 PM

Best l go stock up on the prn paracetamol then trumanscat we may need it. auntykaz says in a deadpan voice"life does not revolve around alcohol", there l can be good........k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 24, 2007 9:59 PM

Just dropped in for a quick peek.. You're right Nina (good memory Trumpy!!) it's taking till forever to get on...
ED we need something done here PLEASE!!! X X

Fotografer.. 24th oct.. Facetious..Think it's the only word in the English dictionary that uses each of the vowels and in alphabetical order... Am I correct???

WaterBombe!!! Different... Will have to remember this one...

BB 24th oct.. Correct re people responding to people & not necessarily ignoring others.. I do read comments if I have time but if not just have a quick perusal of the blogs posted by familiar names.. I'm sure I'm not alone on this.

Good to see you finally got on Vic.. Hope it's smooth sailing from here on in.. You may have trouble getting the use of computer if Trumpy gets addicted though.. Welcome aboard A.. X

No time to comment on more right now. Try to get back on tomorrow.

Happy blogging all. "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at October 24, 2007 9:53 PM

Qwerty, Fotografer. First five letters on the first (alphabetical) row of the keyboard. I'm an old typist from way back. I cut my teeth on a manual typewriter. Good God! I belong in a museum!

Posted by: ninaschen at October 24, 2007 9:52 PM

"Thelynathdiary, Trumans cat and woodnwine are all in my opinion wise contributors"
In answer to.....

I am on my way to Melbourne for Yum Cha!!
Dancing & cowboys, you know.... butterscotch schnapps with Irish bailey cream...

Posted by: trumanscat at October 24, 2007 9:48 PM

Oh TC was it the gary glitter comment????

and what do you mean dancing and cowboys?

are you coming over here or something??.............k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 24, 2007 9:36 PM

Aunty Kaz. Thanks for your kind feedback, you leave me for dead I reckon.... I think you are witty & wise. You use humour in a powerful & positive way, that's a talent.

Are we going to have QUITE a few cowboys together?!!
And a dance, I want to go somewhere later for a boogie, any suggestions?

Posted by: trumanscat at October 24, 2007 9:32 PM

Amuso.
typwriter Correct

Ok that’s 3

Sorry back to the movie DEADFISH

Posted by: thefotografer at October 24, 2007 8:49 PM

typewriter?

Posted by: amuso at October 24, 2007 8:29 PM

hazar

Posted by: amuso at October 24, 2007 8:19 PM

QWERTYUIOP....

MORE THAN 5 EVEN...... tremendous stupendous horrendous. hazardous and timidous jeopardous vanadous, molybdous, mucidous, multifidous,nefandous, frondous, decapodous, lagopodous, tylopodous, steganopodous, heteropodous, gasteropodous, isopodous, and ligniperdous amphipodous, apodous, blizzardous, gastropodous, hybridous, iodous, nodous, octapodous, palladous, paludous, pudendous, rhodous, sauropodous, schizopodous, solipedous, splendidous, tetrapodous, voudous...................

NOW THATS IMPRESSIVE..lol

Posted by: twoeyes at October 24, 2007 8:15 PM

Add 3. horrendous

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 24, 2007 8:14 PM

no.1 tremendous
no.2 stupendous
thats all l got....k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 24, 2007 7:47 PM

Brilliantblue

You can use more than one letter twice. The word in question is the longest one you can type on one row of a standard keyboard……..is that a quirty or something not sure what they call it.

Oh heres another one.
There are four words in the English language that end in “dous” what are they ?

Posted by: thefotografer at October 24, 2007 7:42 PM

chad1958
your right i would much sooner be there alive and breathing

Posted by: thefotografer at October 24, 2007 7:37 PM

Brilliantblue
After you answered the first question so quickly I went back and checked what I had posted and then realized I had left that bit out……..sorry 

Posted by: thefotografer at October 24, 2007 7:33 PM

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 24, 2007 7:29 PM

2nd attempt to post and totally off topic, but where can we talk about kids occasionally? I have 2 boys. The older one is in the army, he is 21 and going to Iraq in the last week of November. I have been telling myself that this is fine, he is happy in the army. He is doing well, and it has really straightened him out. He has volunteered, and tells me it is his job, and this is what he has trained for. He wants to go and don't worry mum!

But this afternoon there was a big envelope in the mail, a support pack from The Dept of Defence for families. So that made me cry, as it is really going to happen! The date is now set.

I think, and this was before he joined up, that we should now be out of Iraq, But once he joined, I don't talk about it as I want to be supportive of him. So I can't tell him my feelings, as he really wants to go, he is happy and has a purpose in his life. I don't need to burden him and I don't want him to worry about me.

So I am telling you guys! All have a lovely evening....jewels.

Posted by: junebaby57 at October 24, 2007 7:23 PM

just so you know BB l am over it too........(big smile on my face as l say that).............k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 24, 2007 7:11 PM

Wraecca... I understand what you're saying...if you're happy with you stay true to yourself...don't change for anyone.
Some people just don't like seeing others happy if they're not themselves, try not to let it affect you and just enjoy the time ahead.
I'm getting to the stage where I really don't think this is a very positive move on my part to keep blogging on here as people seem to like dwelling on the negative rather than the positive.
After my bit the other day... I feel like I'm being judged in a court hearing that a few people seem to be determined to keep alive.
Its just shown me a side of human nature where obviously people like to judge from the sidelines and watch like some form of entertainment and are happy to do this as long as they are not the one under the spot light.

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 24, 2007 7:09 PM

Hi Wraecca...Congrats on your happy situation. I have been reading the blogs and do each day. But rarely comment. It is great to hear success stories. And I (personally)didnt jump to any conclusions or judgements....I am just happy that things have gone well and whatever comes from this it is your choice. No judgements are passed. Good on you and BK. And you're right. The worst that could happen was that you become great friends.....Every Success and Happiness.

Now another topic. Isnt it annoying that everytime you make a change on your profile or as I did make a photo password protected your account is locked and offline. Arrrgh isnt this the age of technology? Come on RSVP maybe a few more staff to get things moving? And yes we may need a new blog page, this one is becoming a little slow on the download.

Posted by: sunkissedqldr at October 24, 2007 6:46 PM

Waterbombe....I'm presuming your blog posted today at 11.40am regarding childhood and ego was about me.
I had a fanastic childhood...some of the best memories and very lucky to have had great parents.
I was taught to stand up for what you believe in, don't follow the crowd for an easy life.
As friends have commented that myself and my family all have a strength of character, people would never consider any of us wishy washy. They know if we say we will do something they can rely on the fact that we will.
I am very happy with the person I am and sorry no childhood traumas to report.
I'm probably very different to a lot of people as I will always stand and be counted, and no definitely not a wall flower, and do like to voice an opinion and will argue the point if I feel strongly about it or I feel there is an injustice but does that make me egostistical?
I think there's way to many assumptions about people on this blog site suffering from some sort of trauma in the past if you write a strong blog!
We're all different and we all have different personalities...some stronger than others....sometimes I'll say things that are quite blunt because that me! (foot in mouth syndrome)
I really wish people would get over the argument from the other day and stop rehashing and trying to analyse Amandad31 and myself.
There must be something better to talk about!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 24, 2007 6:43 PM

OOPS Hit the post button too early. As l was saying whoever attended the lunch was there because they were able to.

When l post a comment, if it gets responded to fine by me if it doesn't its no skin off my nose either.

Similarly l reply to those that l feel like responding to.

I don't have to if l don't want to. No big Deal really is it?? Its not like the popularity contests or anything....

As for the "Gang" this site is for people to communicate, meet become friends if they so desire, whatever.

A leader of the gang, l don't think so, the only time l remember there being a leader was when Gary Glitter sang "The leader of the Gang "back in high school and l think we have all come a long way since then surely.

Thelynathdiary, Trumans cat and woodnwine are all in my opinion wise contributors to what goes on here but leaders?? No offence guys.

Thought we all lived in an equal society...so ends this essay........k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 24, 2007 6:40 PM

Just a response to comments made regarding people here catching up and the references to the "gang"

For those who care to do their research, ssome time ago a few Queenslanders were trying to organise a catch up and l posted a comment that some of us down here should do the same. I hadn't been on here long and just thought it might be a good idea.

Ninaschen then began the ball rolling and posted an open invitation to ANYONE who was interested to maybe contact each other and we would try to organise something.
Having lunch last Saturday was the result.
Those who wanted to and or could attend did. those who didn't or couldn't likewise.

Posted by: auntykaz at October 24, 2007 6:28 PM

Thefotografer, believe it or not, but I'm not actually pointing the finger at any one blogger. Several different bloggers posted some quite hurtful entries directed at me in this particular blog.

As I said, I just wonder why I was targeted, yet other people who have posted similar, or even people who have posted more explicit blogs than me, are just glossed over, or have no negative feedback.

Maybe I just seem to attract nastiness.

Posted by: wraecca at October 24, 2007 6:16 PM

i wouldnt be seen dead in melbourne

Posted by: chad1958 at October 24, 2007 5:51 PM

Cameraman, pet, get it right its Mount Eliza, not Toorak...wouldn't be seen dead in Trak haven't got the right car.......k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 24, 2007 5:47 PM

Thefotografer...are any of the other questions missing more information.eg
The typewriter question has no limit on the amount of times you use a particular letter, is that correct?
When it comes to brain Teasers the way it is written and information is very important otherwise we the people doing them come up with easy solutions.
Have you done the Einstien Brain Teaser fotografer....its a good one?

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 24, 2007 5:40 PM

Wraecca.
It didn’t go unnoticed,
I know what you are saying.
Ok

Posted by: thefotografer at October 24, 2007 5:36 PM

Hi Wraecca, I enjoy seeing people happy, and 'telling all the world' is cool with me. Nike.

Posted by: amuso at October 24, 2007 5:09 PM

Brilliantblue.
You are way to smart.
I forgot to ad the vowels had to be in order aeiou ?
The word has to end with the letters mt.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 24, 2007 4:58 PM

Hi Thefotografer….That was me asking for brain teasers…
I can think of more than just 2 words containing all 5 vowels – Equation, Delusional, Gregarious, Equioran etc probably loads more…that’s just of the top of my head.
Turtle rhymes with purple
Ending in mt do you mean ending in the “letters mt” or do you mean sounds the same as in “empty”
Will come back with the answer to other question later as just arrived home
Cheers

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 24, 2007 4:35 PM

I have tried several times to post something on here and they just never appear. Maybe thats why not many new people post, they can't.

Meshaneujane - your partner requirements read like a job application. Hope it pays well for someone with all the specified qualifications.

Posted by: raphael62 at October 24, 2007 4:28 PM

I am just curious to know why it is that when I posted a blog giving an update on how a relationship that had started here on RSVP was progressing, I got quite a few deliberately nasty comments directed towards me, yet when other people share what's happening with them, there is nothing? No *explicit* details were given, but there was a backlash. Is it just me, or is it because I am seen as part of a 'gang' here, it is acceptable to deride me for my happiness and willingness to share that joy?

It's just a question, so for all of those bloggers who would like to take a pot-shot at me, please try to refrain, because believe it or not, I am actually human, and do get upset when targeted for no apparent reason. I would appreciate it if people could reply in a positive manner only, no snide or vindictive comments please.

Posted by: wraecca at October 24, 2007 4:20 PM

Once when I was hopelessly lost in the western suburbs of Brisbane, I accidentally drove down Petunia Street, Inala. and I could hear this sort of thing from the open windows of my Estate Wagon.

I immediately wound up the windows of my vehicle and hightailed back to Hamilton Heights and vowed never again would my countenance grace the slimy backwaters of our social dissipates and their unseemly behaviour.

Posted by: pinotnoir1958 at October 24, 2007 3:20 PM

aaaaw, come on nina, there's only so many blokes, and even fewer good ones to go around...and most of us nice Melbourne blokes are too busy with work n social "commitments".... :o) Trumpy

Posted by: trumprider56 at October 24, 2007 2:19 PM

I could come up with all sorts of reasons why there is a disproportionate number of positive Victorian (not just Melbourne) females on the blogs. Most of which may start a war amongst the States so I won't go there.

Perhaps, the real reason is there is such a dearth of interesting male company to keep us off the blogs and otherwise occupied.

Posted by: ninaschen at October 24, 2007 1:01 PM

Brainteasers someone on the blogs mentioned they like brain teasers.
Here’s a few I was sent the other day.

How many words in the English language end in “mt”

Name a word in the English language that rhymes with orange, silver or purple

What are the two words in the English language that contain all 5 vowels

What is the longest word that can be typed on any one row of a typewriter

Posted by: thefotografer at October 24, 2007 12:41 PM

Brainteasers someone on the blogs mentioned they like brain teasers.
Here’s a few I was sent the other day.

How many words in the English language end in “mt”

Name a word in the English language that rhymes with orange, silver or purple

What are the two words in the English language that contain all 5 vowels

What is the longest word that can be typed on any one row of a typewriter

Posted by: thefotografer at October 24, 2007 12:40 PM

Niagrafalls

read this and work it out and

I was walking down bourke st.

near the Optus building when I noticed a girl in bluegene and fish net stockings.

i approached her and told her she was very fotogenic and she asked who the hell am I.
I replied I was called ericgene and would like to take her photo.
She replied."That's extra "

Posted by: thefotografer at October 24, 2007 12:32 PM

I would just like to mention this.
Why is it the majority of bloggers are from Melbourne ?

Maybe I should move down to Toorak I might start getting some positive women in my life?

Posted by: thefotografer at October 24, 2007 12:19 PM

yes, where is Lurker...Lurker was fun...just come back to blog, Lurker...

Posted by: waterbombe at October 24, 2007 12:16 PM

Niagrafalls

No I haven’t got time prior to Christmas,.I was down there for a few days a couple of weeks ago, but I have volunteered my services for the digital darkroom work and printing at no charge.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh……………………….the brick wall……..guess what ?..................I did it again……………the bricks I re-laid were ok , but where I lifted and reset a full section of brick wall it came loose again.
Oh well, I need more mortar.
Chopped some branches of the Tallow wood I think both neighbors in that corner might have been getting a little peeved by them hanging over the fence near their pools!!!

Posted by: thefotografer at October 24, 2007 12:12 PM

martingale1, any update on the date?

I don't think there's any "gang". People are on here to make contacts with others, and they do. That's the whole point. Brillaintblue put it better than I can below. Once people get to know each other, either virtually or in reality, there is a certain camaraderie that is inevitable. You will certainly feel it when you come in as a new comer, I know I did, but don't assume that you are frozen out of it...just give it the time you would give when you join any already-established group. People need time to get to know you.You can't expect hugs and kisses immediately.

Kodak Moment, I'm worried...haven't heard...are you in a black hole between the bricks? Apply some Sav Blanc immediately ...that should get you back out.

Posted by: waterbombe at October 24, 2007 11:54 AM

CameraMan

weed by all means but don't try to get leverage on that brick wall again...remember what happened last time...let's think...what was it...sanity!! God forbid. And you had inadvertently cooked dinner as well!! That was going too far!

As for the Blues, I'm guessing childhood..and maybe ego...

I hear you may be transporting yourself to Victoria to meet a blogger or two? Aren't you worried about GangLand?

Posted by: waterbombe at October 24, 2007 11:40 AM

Niagrafalls

Hmmmmmm……I think that entered a few of our heads,I reckon Amanda31 was doing one of two things…….was rolling round the floor laughing or venting her anger from her childhood experiences.
Don’t know about Ms brightazure I just can’t put my finger on it.

Think i will go and pull some weeds out while it is still cool.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 24, 2007 10:05 AM

MO re the blog disagreement btn Brilliantblue and AmandaD-

I feel really sorry for you as obviously you have the inability to really love and care about someone else for the sake of them being them.

* Posted by: brilliantblue at October 21, 2007 8:58 AM

This comment started it between the pair.

Brilliantblue could have stopped it at any time herself but chose as a mature woman not to.
She started it and it was up to her to finish it.
AmandaD should not have threatened violence but as far as the "debate" went my worm was with her all the way....

You are both adults and can sort things out for yourself without expecting other writers to jump in and save you when you could have just shut down your computer and gone to bed.

That may not have been as much fun though. Now, there's a thought!!!!

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at October 24, 2007 9:44 AM

here's a different opinion about the fighting that went on...in anger management courses one of the first things they teach you to do is walk away when someone is acting aggressively. And that's in REAL life, when it can be hard to do that because there's an angry body in front of you. All you guys in blog land had to do was switch the computer off, switch the telly on, and make yourselves a cup of tea. Game over. That's why a lot of peole didn't intervene....we were waiting for you guys to figure this out.

And another thing - I've had a fair bit of professional experience in this area, and people who accuse others of forming gangs are invariably people who have a gang mentality themselves. Like the guy who accuses his partner of having an affair, and she's not..the odds are that he is. So I'm watching with interest the people who are making accusations about gangs, leaders, etc....I'm betting that they are the more aggressive people on here.

Also, did it occur to anyone that we were being set up? Amandad31 has a PhD, was a Miss UK finalist, flits over to Canada to work occassionally, earns a fortune, has a lover who is her intellectual , physical and financial equal AND who doesn't mind at all that she is advertising for men under 35 on a dating site....I don't know...maybe I'm just being suspicious...but I smell a rat.

posted by Waterbombe (nee MysticOcean)

Posted by: waterbombe at October 24, 2007 9:43 AM

beautifully put, wishingandhoping2 (no doubt someone, somewhere will object to that as sycophantic, or whatever, but I don't care!)

Posted by: malsie at October 24, 2007 9:39 AM

Martingale is referring to Woodnwine.

I think the ladies here just like him. From my observation and reading of their writings for some time, they are all strong, intelligent women who probably have never needed a leader.

Also, I am not part of the gang but they were upset that I was not aware of the derails and have tried to be extra inclusive of everyone for the next meeting.

Just because there may be a group conversing privately it does not disclude anyone from anywhere in Australia sharing their opinions via these blogs.

I've continued for months and will continue to do so as long as I feel the need. The Lynathdiary has always done the same.

If people kept posting the appearance of a gang would be lessened and it would be more interesting reading like Sam
s blogs in the Sydney Sun. There are a bank of usual bloggers there but others jump in too and it makes for a fun read.

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at October 24, 2007 9:25 AM

Hi Matingale….thanks for your words of support…I’m over it now and really don’t want to think badly of anyone but nice to think that you understood where I was coming from and why I got so angry.

I’m on here because I really like to hear the views of other women and men in similar positions. I really think this issue that keeps arising about a gang mentality is purely that quite a few of the people on the blog site have been on for a while and have formed friendships through this blog site therefore are responding to each other say more than the new people. I really don’t think they are purposely ignoring the new comers.

I don’t want to be part of any gang as I feel I’m independent enough to stand on my own, have always believed the more the merrier and really like to see new input from new members but do enjoy conversing via the blog site generally.

Good on you....hope you’re date goes really well tonight!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 24, 2007 8:33 AM

martingale1. Absolutely you are entitled to your view, I disagree with that it, we all see things through different eyes & we bring our own value systems & beliefs to the table....

I am guessing you are alluding to Lurker?
Yes it would be nice to have him back.... but I have heard a whisper he is busy enjoying life at present... good on him.

I am doubtful there will be any electing a leader, that seems silly to me.

Just out of curiosity.. are you having difficulty getting your blogs onto RSVP? A few people have made complaints to RSVP about the unfair advantage the regular bloggers have over the new bloggers.

RSVP. Lift your game, the blogs should equitable for all.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 24, 2007 8:17 AM

Meshaneujane, your profile looks like a job description! I hope it pays well.

Posted by: raphael62 at October 24, 2007 7:35 AM

Just a comment on your 'get togethers' -- someone said it would prove there is no gang on this site, but I think the opposite -- it actually proves there IS one. 'Gang' activity has died down at the moment because the leader, who you are trying to impress is away. You know who I mean I'm sure, and the fact that it's a male and you're nearly all females is a bit sad in my opinion.

Sorry if this offends but I say it as I see it. I've been reading for awhile without always posting, and there IS a gang atmosphere. There are a couple on the fringes who are making an effort to be inclusive which is great (Brilliant blue, Lynathdiary come to mind, there are a couple more though -- and Brilliant blue for what it's worth, I was with you all the way in your 'blue' with amandad31) but those who seem to think it's fine to freeze out or insult others just come off as immature and arrogant. I shall be watching with interest to see what happens when 'the main man' comes back !! If you need a leader you should elect lynathdiary, she always speaks sense and reason!

Small update on me -- I have a date tonight , before I even had a chance to put a pic up! High hopes, who knows?

Posted by: martingale1 at October 24, 2007 7:11 AM

meshaneujane....

I just noted a little typo within your profile where you say,

meshaneujane: "...Life is so great, there are so many things to see and do, and I want to do it ALL....

Including you - if your good enough. :)",

where "your" should be you're.

At least then with this little bit of free advice, you may not think as you said,

meshaneujane: "This whole site sucks... I think your better off selling yourself in dates on ebay or something... ."

Also, good luck in your search meshaneujane, for the very specific requirements you have in mind for your future partner. :)

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 23, 2007 11:46 PM

hey' BRILLIANT BLUE' there are people in this world that want to bring others down to their "level" . to justify their importance, don`tt take the bait,... if this is the worst thing thats going to happen to you you`re going to have a wonderful LIFE.

Posted by: jonjon48 at October 23, 2007 10:20 PM

Posted by: ninaschen at October 21, 2007 9:27 PM

> Wraecca and BrushKestral (am I allowed to 'spell it out'? Oops! Hope so!)

If you are going to spell it out, can you at least spell it out correctly please? (Kestrel doesn't have any 'a's in it...)

LOL ;-)

Posted by: brushkestrel at October 23, 2007 10:05 PM

Attention RSVP/Moderators/Editor - This blog is about to implode. It takes forever to download and to post to it.

Please, please give us a nice clean slate on which to write.

Thanks in anticipation!

Posted by: ninaschen at October 23, 2007 10:02 PM

wow! what a thouthtful lot....

Posted by: jonjon48 at October 23, 2007 9:57 PM

Hi Deanna6 - Welcome and jump right in!

A few people lately have blogged that they are feeling miffed as they are ignored when they blog. The blogs belong to everyone. No-one is in charge nor owns them (apart from the moderators - now, THEY are the ones with the power!).

If you make a comment and don't get a response from someone straight away, don't take it personally. It is impossible for everyone to respond to every post.

I find I often just nod in agreement when someone puts forth an opinion, without feeling compelled to make my own comment. I expect others are the same.

Enjoy the experience! This is your space, too.

Posted by: ninaschen at October 23, 2007 9:57 PM

Oh Oh Oh.... I have to come here and post opinions about everyone else's opinions...

This whole site sucks... I think your better off selling yourself in dates on ebay or something....

At least then you can link to your OWN blog... instead of feeding stacks of dosh into the hands of a crappy media outlet.

Posted by: meshaneujane at October 23, 2007 9:42 PM

OO - twas, and much appreciated. I hoped you appreciated the humour intended in my reply. Not that I am sure you will get this, a few of my posts this today and last night are not going up, so you may have to just pick on my thankful vibe!

Posted by: gratitudegirl at October 23, 2007 9:31 PM

BrilliantBlue. That was a gracious & thoughtful statement to amandad31. Kudos to you. XXX

Posted by: trumanscat at October 23, 2007 9:24 PM

Righto malsie, all cleared up. :)

Speaking of clearing something else up, I just sent a VK of support (nothing else intended) to someone else. I hope it is understood in the spirit intended.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 23, 2007 9:16 PM

brilliantblue you can keep playing the victom if thats what rocks your boat. I am not agreeing with you or that amanda. What I am saying is all this b%^&* slaping you and her are engaging in is silly to say the least. JUST KEEP TO THE SUBJECT full stop.

Posted by: six2512 at October 23, 2007 9:02 PM

No, sorry, OO - that was re thelynathdiary's comment to gratitudegirl (I'd just made a comment to TLD just before that, and that was a flow on from that....I should have been more specific...wandering off in my own musings, I guess!)

Posted by: malsie at October 23, 2007 8:43 PM

Ummmmm...sorry malsie at October 23, 2007 6:43 PM,

I didn't direct any of my comments in particular towards gratitudegirl
-don't know what you meant by that comment but perhaps you mixed it in with gratitudegirl's kind response to my question asking asking for the source of experiments I was referring to?

I initially wrote a reply to your blog malsie at October 22, 2007 3:44 PM and then wandered on in my musing. :)

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 23, 2007 8:32 PM

Good for you BrilliantBlue!

I am sure Amandad31 appreciates you extending the olive branch. We all let off a bit of steam from time-to-time. Read back through the blogs!

Everyone can co-exist on here if we accept that we all have our 'human' and at times, 'ugly' side (no offence intended).

You both have valid opinions that give others food for thought.

Go on! Kiss and make up!

Posted by: ninaschen at October 23, 2007 8:28 PM

Amandad31...we probably both said a lot of things that we didn't really mean after reading back over a lot of the blogs that I missed I can see now that you probably felt bombarded with people disagreeing with you and I was probably the last straw. I just wanted to wish you all the best and really hope that you do find what you're looking for!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 23, 2007 7:40 PM

I'm not sure why but after the insults and so on the other day had an influx of kisses and emails from men on here....really quite surprising!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 23, 2007 7:24 PM

Nice try, Seraphsuzie :)

Posted by: malsie at October 23, 2007 6:44 PM

OrnamentalOnly, maybe an Adelaide get-together will work for you then, perhaps, at some stage...

Always thinking of you, David, you know that! And it looks like you may just get your wish....(if I'm on the right track and thinking of the same person...)

You're right, Wraecca, of course, my comment was directed to that old blog, and I'm sorry that balance of perspective hasn't totally kicked in yet - but I'm sure it will!

I do remember reading about the experiment you mentioned too, OO, when studying psych (but wouldn't remember the actual case reference now - was long ago) - and others related to people not wishing to get involved in breaking up fights, etc... (and also the Simpsons parody, TLD, which was very funny in typical Simpsons' style).

I see your point in the comments you directed to gratitudegirl (and agree that controversy is stimulating and perfectly okay), although I'm not so sure that all adults are capable of exercising self restraint. RSVP supposedly censor offensive behaviour, but there's been a fair bit slip by the net, I reckon... then, as in all cases related to censorship, who gets to decide what should be censored and to what extent. RSVP presumably, but I'm not so sure they know themselves!

Posted by: malsie at October 23, 2007 6:43 PM

hey malsie .. I would love to go to a Melbourne meet however at present, funds are pretty tight.. so might have to see...getting there and back probably wouldn't be so bad.. staying somewhere would :-)

Sure you don't want to make it Sydney where everyone meets? hehe

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 23, 2007 6:13 PM

Hi, seraphsuzie - in my
"gentle encouragement" to others to see if we can together as many as possible to a Melb meeting, you are definitely one of the "nsw" mob I had in mind, naturally!

Hi to you too, deanna6 - hope you find your time in the blogs entertaining!

Posted by: malsie at October 23, 2007 5:59 PM

Oh multiple hoorays, Stoic is alive and well, thanks Suzie, and I am now trustworthy enough to be blogging in real time!! Almost. Thanks Ed.

Yes, TLD I disagree wholeheartedly too that an authority figure is needed and I agree with your exceptions. But I acknowledge that it is a reason (ala the experiments). Bring on dissent and controversy, and if people are sometimes a bit clumsy expressing it so be it! Just do no harm...

Posted by: gratitudegirl at October 23, 2007 12:16 PM

gratitudegirl... the lovely stoic is alive and well.. he and I have become friends and we talk to each other quite a bit... :-)

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 23, 2007 11:57 AM

Why Clancy47 that is one of the more common fantasies...I am sure a 1800 number can help....besides you have the sequence out of order...it's drinking first...drinking leads to music , music leads to dancing and hugging and after that it is a downhill slide to outright fornication.......

Could it be that everyone is actually remembering the episode of The Simpsons which parodied all these experiments.
It was the one where they go for family therapy and are sat around a room facing each other while hookied up to electodes. They are enabled to shock each other whenever they don't like what the other person says. It starts off slowly but within a short time they all have their hands permanently on the buzzers.....brilliant!
I think the idea should be implemented in every work place!

Gratitude Girl... I have to disagree with the idea that adults need an "authority" to step in to send us to our rooms on a blog site. As adults surely we can exercise self restraint?
The only exception would be very extreme posts (say full of racial slurs) or posts which have come form those with obvious incapacity who need some care and protection in my opinion.

A bit of controversy is good for stimulating brain function...don't let it be suppressed.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 23, 2007 11:52 AM

Re: ornamentalonly at October 22, 2007 9:35 PM

Yep. I think one of the experiments you are referring to is the Milgram Test of Obediance. Try google or youtube. What started out as a test of how far the test subjects would go in administering electric shocks to unknown recipients when being "told" to do so by an authoritative figures (eg the man in the lab coat), became more famous for the issues of research ethics, as many of the subjects who were doing the 'shocking' were quite traumatised. Anarchy is quite difficult for most.

It also explains BrilliantBlue, why many didn't jump in and 'defend' you. It was expected that RSVP Authority would. And of course there's the knitters at the gallows phenomen, and then there's those who didn't want to fan the flames and were hoping for it to die down through lack of attention.

And just in case anyone was looking for any more theories (Malsie, my ruminations take a life of their own at times, particularly with Retro- Mercury), I'm thinking many of us would be the type who say they can sit at a cafe and watch people for hours. I guess this is the cyber version, reading blogs even when the content sometimes repulses us or bores us. On that note, I need the real version. Cofeeeeeee.

Posted by: gratitudegirl at October 23, 2007 9:42 AM

Thanks TLD & Malsie : ) For what it's worth on the tribal/clique thing, the reason is not just sociological. In this sense it is technical / structural. On another blog there is an Ed response to BK (Oct 15) that "trusted members" get their posts approved faster than non trusted members. Now I have been blogging since the earlier days (eg where oh where is the lovely stoic?), but I ususally don't engage in the frequent hi, love you too type of responses (and not that there is anything wrong with that, just not my cuppa). This means my posts take at least 12 hours to approve and the thread has left the station! Last night's is still not there, yet already we see real time responses on this one. This means that many people are buried within the blogs and are excluded by virtue of their 'non-trustworthiness". I left an alternate argument for changing this on the other blog (Hollywood one I think). I understand the economics of it, but could be a revenue generator if approached from a different perspective.

Posted by: gratitudegirl at October 23, 2007 8:31 AM

Invites for the bloggers Melbourne meet pertains to all. I mention amandad31, pommysheila (do I need to mention thelynaithdiary?) & any other blogger who thinks there is a clique to please come...
You are here..ergo you have an invite.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 23, 2007 8:03 AM

Six2512...thankyou for your little inunendo's. As I know you believe violence is ok when you can justify it in your head maybe you and Amandad31 would make a good team.
Just because I chose not to continue seeing you and you know that is because we sit at different ends of the scale where violence is concerned and you know very well how strongly I feel about it doesn't mean I'm sensitive but if thats how you chose to label people who abhor violence then so be it!
Please get over us....I have no bad feelings towards you!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 23, 2007 7:49 AM

Be careful Amandad31, hugs are a bit of a worry - they can lead to dancin'...
richie47

Posted by: clancy47 at October 23, 2007 7:39 AM

Amandad31
I am sure you need a bit of a hug too.
I would like to say that you were placed under a considerable amount amount of pressure from a group before the adrenaline kicked in and you reacted.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 23, 2007 12:39 AM

Why cant i get posted!!! ( laffs if this finally makes it through.....)

Posted by: justmefiona at October 23, 2007 12:37 AM

Aliane,
great post and interesting added perspective to the current debate.We are fortunate women in this country to have so little to worry about really.Thanks for your other post to me too. Saw you had been to NY. No single Stockbrokers on Wall Street ?
Hi Gratitude Girl..loved 21/10 your input too. and the idea of "the price you pay " that is so true in my opinion.
Hi Martingale1.Thanks

Hi Femalepersuasion.

Hi Malsie thanks for the inclusion.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 23, 2007 12:12 AM

Oops! Phone battery went dead.

Just to let you know.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 22, 2007 11:52 PM

Got it amdoingit - I'm ready for a trivia night as soon as they announce another one. Kaz, you'll be in it too, won't you??

Posted by: victoriadownunder at October 22, 2007 11:20 PM

Suzie - no-one needs an invite! Everyone who is genuinely interested is welcome. Contrary to what some think, this IS NOT an exclusive club. No-one is excluded (even Ea..., hmm on second thought, maybe him). The whole 'meet' thing is in its embryonic stage and we are a small group of people who thought it would be nice to meet. It may become a little less 'slap-dash' in time - who knows?

Posted by: ninaschen at October 22, 2007 11:07 PM

Yay!!!! I finally got posted :-)

Hey amdoingit - did you notice that the fotographer got away with what I've always failed at? Ninaschen, I hope you noticed his comment!!

Cheers!!

Posted by: victoriadownunder at October 22, 2007 10:59 PM

I've got nothing relevant to contribute to this topic but want to qualify for the next Blogfest!!

I'd encourage any other blogger to join in the December event - it'll be an absolute ball and you will be made to feel very welcome :-)

Cheers,

Lesley

Posted by: victoriadownunder at October 22, 2007 10:52 PM

K.. spot on.. thank you.. Bring on a trivia night!! You reading this Vic? Wanna try again maybe?.

TC glad you'll be making it to Melb.

Fotografer..hope you can make it.. AND hope you're prepared for the deluge!!!

Posted by: amdoingit at October 22, 2007 10:39 PM

Wraecca Mr huntsman is now happily crawling aroung outside thanks to sonnyboy rescuing him yesterday morning..suzie will be happy that l didn't kill him with hairspray, vaccuum him to oblivion or smash him to peices.

Now don't they come in pairs or families or something?.............k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 22, 2007 10:39 PM

Adelaide will have to wait till the New Year.
In Feb or March there is going to be a great show @ Frances, a small country town on the border of SA & VIC. It's called the Frances Folk Gathering, it still relatively new but wonderfully inclusive, anyone can put up their hand to perform or be involved as a compere or on a judging panel.
The majority of The Gov's locals head there every year.... should be loads of fun & frivolity.
I love a good party.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 22, 2007 10:28 PM

Amdoingit was the song green limosine by the badloves?
Love a good trivia question.........k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 22, 2007 10:20 PM

Hi Ornamentalonly…thanks for your Hello!
I remember only very vaguely the experiment with the buzzer that gave small electric shocks….can’t remember where from though!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 22, 2007 10:16 PM

seraphsuzie of course you are invited, you don't need an invite babe.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 22, 2007 10:00 PM

Well, thankyou brilliantblue
if you need a baby sitter for those three let me know.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 22, 2007 9:58 PM

But it appears after a phonecall tonight I will be going to the Melbourne meet for yum cha & cowboys. That's the deal ;~)

Posted by: trumanscat at October 22, 2007 9:58 PM

nobody invited me to any of the meets.. :-( 'sob sob'

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 22, 2007 9:57 PM

fotogenicatoptusnetdotcom.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 22, 2007 9:53 PM

Ninaschen

Yes that’s fine.
The problem is threefold.

I decided to only put it up when I am blogging.
RSVP have taken over 3 days to review 12 words I changed and they still have not changed it.
RSVP took3 days to approve my Audio and then put up the wrong one which went for over 2 minutes I then deleted it and sent a shorter version which they have not approved at this point.
So it’s in limbo at the moment

Posted by: thefotografer at October 22, 2007 9:51 PM

Hi Gang! :~)

David of course you are.... puuurrrrrr lol ;~)
All bloggers are welcome.
www.thegov.com.au
They don't do accommodation but do have great music. Plenty of accommodation nearby.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 22, 2007 9:48 PM

Hi OrnamentalOnly,

Malsie's statement of "anthropological experiment, anthropological experiment" was actually directing me back to a blog that she wrote to me a couple of weeks ago, when I was quite upset at the nastiness on the blogs. I think it is to try and make me feel better.

It hasn't really worked. Thanks anyways Malsie.

Oh, btw, OrnamentalOnly, I've just sent you another message with a possibly odd request. Just let me know whether it's ok or not. Thanks.

Wraecca.

Posted by: wraecca at October 22, 2007 9:46 PM

Re: Posting by: wraecca at October 22, 2007 8:36 PM:

You're very welcome. :)

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 22, 2007 9:37 PM

Posting by: malsie at October 22, 2007 3:44 PM.

Thanks malsie. :) But I think I've been a bit remiss of late, in responding to newcomers.
-I'm such a sucker for getting caught up in controversy...

I don't remember the original context of your chant,
"anthropological experiment, anthropological experiment",
but I can see the application being so relevant on here.
I've always had the phrase "mob psychology" at the back of my mind, as an explanation for group behaviour, as opposed to individuals. It's so long ago since I read about it (when a teenager) I don't even remember the source. But history does document quite well what groups of people will do (whether positively or negatively) together, as opposed to a lone individual.
And I do recall an experiment done in the USA(?) where a group of people were divided in two. One lot were the "prisoners", the other were "guards". The "guards" in this experimentally contrived situation, carried out their "guard duties" in a reasonable manner. However...when sunglasses were given to and worn by these "guards", a distinct change in behaviour was noted. Harshness and other related behaviour from the "guards" to the "prisoners", did emerge.
Yep, the guards' anonymity from having their eyes covered, lent extra force to their behaviour from not only the prisoners' point of view but also, less restrictions on the guards' behaviour in giving out punishments.
I think there has been an experiment done with pairs of individuals inflicting physical punishment (from memory, through a buzzer/electrical shocks?) on each other and the difference in levels of physical pain inflicted when these individuals actually faced each other, as to when the punisher was hidden from view. Anyone know about these experiments and perhaps their sources?

Anyway, away from such stuff!!!
Much better to be constructively positive or is that, positively constructive?

Speaking of which malsie, with your and other people's efforts to organise meets and a gentle enquiry of me travelling; I'm a bit preoccupied at the moment with a few different work things going on (also, my dad had an emergency trip to hospital over the weekend) but ...a quick flight to SA and overnight stay at a nice Hotel (or at Trumanscat's 160 year old pub if possible?) does sound verrry tempting. Would enjoy meeting up. :)

A pity there isn't some more equidistant place in Australia for us all to meet up.
But then, for such as myself who can be a tad insecure... I'd worry a bit about losing some of the mystique, the anonymity...and providing tangible proof of ALL (not just a lot -as already demonstrated) my terrible flaws, kindly screened to a degree by not only the computer monitor but the luxury of time to use written communication.
And perhaps someone having a pop at me! -Naaah, only kidding.
But at least on here, you can scroll right on by lengthy ramblings like this. (I currently don't even have the excuse of having had a drink!) : )

Finally, I've been meaning to say hello to you, brilliantblue :) and now also, congratulations on your sister's wedding. :)

It's great to see positive results from RSVP. : )))

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 22, 2007 9:35 PM

Fotografer - You are a slippery little sucker! Your profile keeps disappearing. If you are serious about joining us, you will need to reveal yourself briefly again so I can email you!

Posted by: ninaschen at October 22, 2007 9:23 PM

hey im new at this thing so hi everyone

Posted by: deanna6 at October 22, 2007 9:02 PM

wraecca and brilliantblue.. its cool.. maybe another night then.. Saturday is a better night.. I agree .. Should try and do something before christmas!

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 22, 2007 8:44 PM

SeraphSuzie, as much as I'd love to be there this weekend, it is just not practical for me. However, if my suggestion ever eventuates (not that I'm holding my breath - I'd turn purple and pass out before then, lol), we could possibly do a theme or something, perhaps "Devilish Delights"? That way we could all indulge ourselves with good food, good wine, and great company.

But it's just a thought.

OrnamentalOnly, I meant every word that I sent you. Thank you.

Wraecca.

Posted by: wraecca at October 22, 2007 8:36 PM

Seraphsuzie....sounds great!...just find friday nights after work really hard to get out with 3 boys!...if Sydneysiders decide to get together on a Saturday night at any stage down the track would be interested in that!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 22, 2007 8:29 PM

Hi all,
Well i must say i'm a bit jealous that I couldnt attend the Victorian Bloggers Fest, sounds like you guys all ahd a ball. Sorry for not making it but it was a bit of struggle finding a sitter for my son as my mum has been quite unwell.

Now as for you Miss Wrecca, I am so happy for you, sounds like you have met a wonderful man, I wish you both well. I too in the last 2 weeks have made a connection with a man, about 5 months younger and i was searching for at least 5 years older. I have my big date on friday night and i dont care what anyone thinks, i would just like to share I've even had a brazillian, best to be prepared. Well hope that takes the heat off you miss wrecca, now im sure to be ridiculed about disclosing way too much and promiscuity. Oh well i think it will be a very sad day when you can't have a giggle with the girls and look forward to a date.
Cheers
Wendy
Ps. Brad if you do happen to read the blogs it doesnt mean your in!

Posted by: frillyfloralfrock71 at October 22, 2007 8:13 PM

So is ANYONE.. coming to the Witches and Warlock night on Friday night ????

I guess Sydney won't be having a blog get together...'sniff sniff'

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 22, 2007 8:13 PM

Thanks for thinking of me Malsie, you are always so thoughtful.
I will come to the next blogger meeting provided a certain unnamed blogger is going to be present.
I feel a slow blush coming on (sigh)

Posted by: rocco61 at October 22, 2007 7:48 PM

Thefotographer...just wanted to let you know I really think your an alright sort of guy and generally enjoy reading your blogs....you've made me laugh a couple of times...and we can all do with a good laugh! I just think you enjoy stirring the pot occassionally!
Keep the funny ones coming!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 22, 2007 7:39 PM

woops, metaphor, forgot to ask if you'd be interested in popping over to Melb with me next time?
I know you're planning a trip some time anyway..... are you still out there.....??

Posted by: malsie at October 22, 2007 7:35 PM

Thanks Auntykaz….I just saw red after spending a beautiful day at the wedding, hoping on RSVP to catch up with the days blogs and find one of the first I read is threatening to punch my face in because I have a difference of opinion to hers. To tell you the truth I was in shock after being called every thing under the sun possible….didn’t handle it well….should have just bailed out gracefully instead of getting nasty.
Just have a real issue with people who think they are better than others….to me everyone is equal…no one person is better than another….we are all different and thank god we are….maybe she didn’t mean to come across like that and just wasn’t explaining herself well or had had a bad day. I would like to believe this as do not like the thought of someone being so nasty.
I have never in my life had anyone call me so many nasty things because my opinion differs to theirs. I work on a couple of different committees in between my regular work where you do have to work through solutions to problems with a group of all very different individual people from different backgrounds in a professional manner and have never been insulted and threatened because my opinion might differ to some one elses.
If it ever happens again will just log off…don’t want to go through that ever again!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 22, 2007 7:24 PM

thefotografer, I agree mentally therapeutic at times and for some people who do feel a need to "vent". Other reasons could be using the blogs to increase exposure in attracting a suitable mate (no criticism intended there, just an observation; it's a perfectly sensible, reasonable motivation); and there's also the general social side, the making and maintaining of friendships, or even the mental stimulation of discussing various topics with others who are all experiencing the rsvp "experience" in some form or other - information sharing, support, validation that what you're going through is pretty common after all - a myriad of reasons really (and it could be a bit of all of them for some of us too!).

For some people it's just a bit of fun too - getting a kick out of being outrageous and seeing how people react in some cases. I think it's a mixed bag, as are the contributors of course (who float in and out, and sometimes back in again!)

It's a shame Melbourne's not really viable for you for a blogger's meeting, Wraecca. Thanks for the general invite to your place - you never know! (and just keep thinking "anthropological experiment, anthropological experiment"....)
And maybe Adelaide will happen too, TC. I certainly reckon your pub would make a great venue.

So how about you, David (rocco) - game to travel down to Melbourne? Perhaps you, hiddencharms and Terry could travel together (there's a proposition I don't think I'd have once dared to suggest!!) I suppose Perth is just a bit too far away, OrnamentalOnly....

Posted by: malsie at October 22, 2007 7:16 PM

TC sorry, began with your post last night at 11.30pm. My response was to K's comment today at 5.04pm. "get on board, lyric to song.. trying in with mini bus maybe?? Still ongoing !!! S & L was referring to Satin and Lace. God, now I'm confusing myself even ...
Sorry, should have done a separate post to you.. Would've made more sense.
In a hurry and taking till forever to post.. Frustrating...My excuse...

Posted by: amdoingit at October 22, 2007 6:57 PM

Divine Miss M. Course we could do two trips, doesn't have to happen all at once.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 22, 2007 6:34 PM

amdoingit. Huh? Like my profile says I can be oblivious, this is one of those moments. Can you breakdown vverrrrryy slowly what you mean?
Posted by: amdoingit at October 22, 2007 6:08 PM
Thanks XXX

Posted by: trumanscat at October 22, 2007 6:33 PM

Ok, I think I'm calm enough now to come out of time-out and not go of the deep end again.

I would love to be able to be able to attend one of these Blog Fests that people have been writing about, would have loved to have gone to the one in Melbourne. However, I'm about 9-10 hours from Melbourne, 9 hours from Brisbane, and about 6 hours from Sydney. I would find it extremely hard to drive to one of these events just for a lunch, unless I was already there for something else. However, if there are people who are wanting to meet in an area where there are some lovely wineries and other venues, and are able to travel more freely than I am, there are areas closer to where I live that I could possibly attend. Either that, or if you had one in my town, I could put some of you up for the night, as I have plenty of spare sleeping space (but ladies only, I'm afraid - guys would have to pitch a tent in my backyard, lol).

I would really love to meet up with many of you, and even thefotografer would be welcome to attend (I don't tend to hold grudges) if he so desired.

If anyone is interested in spending the weekend in the Western Plains region of NSW (think Orange, Wellington, Gilgandra region) please let me know, and we may be able to set up a weekend or something. Otherwise, don't worry about it. It is only a suggestion.

BrilliantBlue, I did not respond to the blogs that were being posted between you and Amandad31 last night, because if I had of, in the mood I was in, I would have most likely been banned from RSVP. However, before the discussion degenerated into name-calling, abuse, violent threats etc, I could see both of you had valid points. I am not going to side with anyone, I am not going to point blame, both of you said things you probably regret, and were quite worked up. Please take this as it is intended, in a friendly, non-judgmental manner. I'm also glad that you had a lovely time at the wedding, they are always so full of hope and love, that it serves as a wonderful reminder to why we are here.

Right, now that everything has calmed down, thank you for your comments, I appreciate them, and I appreciate all the lovely comments that everyone else has posted. Danever/thefotografer, I accept your apology, and as I stated in the "Online Dating Etiquette" blog, I apologise for over-reacting. However, it has become apparent that some bloggers really do not want to hear happy stories, so I will no longer share any. I am tired of being made to feel ashamed of being happy and wanting to share it, that I am indiscreet, and have no concept of privacy. I am a naturally open person, but I won't be anymore, at least not on the blogs.

If anyone else wants any updates, I'll ask that you request them from the other party previously mentioned, that is, if he can actually post a reply.

AuntyKaz, I hope the huntsman is gone.

Wraecca.

Posted by: wraecca at October 22, 2007 6:14 PM

K...you're on.. A lyric came to mind "get on board ?...? get on board" but can't remember the rest. Got the beat but word wise am blank.. Oh well.. Think S & L would be a goer too. Hmm. Could be good. I'm sure TC will see to it that it is ??

Is taking till forever to download now. Expect we'll get shut down before much longer!!!!

Posted by: amdoingit at October 22, 2007 6:08 PM

malsie, you are right (as usual), it's not personal. Just the nature of the blogs. I was awol for a while and only jumped back on because I was alerted to the blogfest notice which Ninaschen posted (Danke L !!). Been active the last couple of days but have a tight schedule coming up so will probably take a quick sneak peek at posts but not have time to respond. Doesn't mean I don't take notice or have an opinion. It really is cyclic.
BB congrats to the happy couple on their wedding. Hope it went well and that they live blissfully happy until the day dot.

Posted by: amdoingit at October 22, 2007 6:01 PM

BB l think that when l came on last evening your barney had been going on for a while and the most important thing in my mind was that if you felt threatened you needed to let RSVP know...did l send that yesterday?
You do not have to respond to entries which you feel are like that, however l can see where you were coming from in defending yourself.

I think that you handled it the best way you could at the time...me, l probably would have gone crying to my mama, but l am a bit of a sook at times.............k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 22, 2007 5:14 PM

Right TC me and amdoingit will be there and yes maybe we could catch up on that drink or 3.....k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 22, 2007 5:04 PM

Actually it’s therapeutical mentally.
That’s not just what I think but it is the opinion of professionals.
To be able to rant and rave on the internet is the same as sitting down and writing your thoughts and feelings in a diary. It helps clear the mind, it’s the same as writing a letter of apology to a departed love one or writing how angry certain behavior made you feel in the past.
It gets it out of the system and that way you don’t have to keep building up negative thoughts inside you which can be destructive to yourself and the ones you love.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 22, 2007 3:59 PM

gratitudegirl, I found your comments ruminating about people's motivations to contribute to the blogs, and to read them, very thought provoking.
What do people get out of it, why do we keep returning - especially when some appallingly offensive things are said that just make you want to cringe.

As was said on another blog from ages ago, it was a bit like a train wreck that people were horrified by, yet intrigued at the same time. And of course the tribal mentality that you mention - all very true too. Quite a few of us have got fed up with the blogs for various reasons and decided to leave, and yet curiously have either remained under different names, left and returned, or just carried on blogging despite ourselves. Sometimes it's been likened to some sort of addiction. It's a curious one.

It's also been mentioned about people ignoring what some bloggers have to say (especially "new" bloggers). I certainly had that experience too. I wrote a few comments which were totally ignored, and initially took it personally, until I realised it was like any group. You don't instantly know someone, and it takes a while to find a "voice" (unless you write particulary head-line catching blogs, which mine never have been really - not my style). But even now, knowing a few people here, there's many times lots of my comments go without any response whatsoever, often things that are quite dear to my heart too. It's just the nature of the blogs, I think, and really isn't personal, I don't think.

Something I noticed OrnamentalOnly was always very adept at doing was commenting on new bloggers' comments, and sort of welcoming them to the "fold". A nice thing to do.

brilliantblue, I only read all the carry on that occurred on Sunday night after the event, and was amazed by all the nastiness that occurred, especially threats of violence. Things really got out of hand. It is nice to hear about the wedding you mentioned (although, I'm afraid, like thefotografer, my attitude at weddings has always been on the cynical side - which perhaps helps account for the fact I never actually married!) But I do wish them well.

Posted by: malsie at October 22, 2007 3:44 PM

ninaschen

I actually have a return ticket to Melbourne that I have had in my account since November last year so it will soon evaporate into the coffers of Qantas if I don't use it soon.

Me, bitter, twisted, My God girl !!!I am poor because of all the needy causes I help no wonder I am twisted a nd bitter I just can't stop giving to people.

Hmmmmm...........where the hell did that Plasma get to ?

Posted by: thefotografer at October 22, 2007 2:38 PM

brilliantblue.
Well,I did say I would punch her in the nose and she didn't seem to mind that.

I hope you had a good time at the wedding D.
I was at one 4 weeks ago and I remember sitting there and looking around the room thinking,geee.you now, half of these people aren’t even going to be together in 10 years.
Somewhat pessimistic I know,but it is something reflected on even by mothers these days about their own daughters.
Hard to believe how many times a woman has said to me it scares her when she looks at her daughters and realize that at least one of them will end up in broken marriage.

Anyway, back to the cheery stuff.
It was one of my brothers daughters getting married and when it came time to exchange rings there was a silence and plenty of head turning.
Then the minister could be heard saying to the groom�where’s the rings?�

He replied “the flower girls have got them “

Where were the flower girls ?
Outside of course, sitting in the gutter complaining to their mum that they were tired,had enough, and wanted to go home!!

Posted by: thefotografer at October 22, 2007 1:58 PM

I must say I felt a little disappointed that not one person on the Sunday blogs said anything about the blog directed at me, and their were loads of blogs following that one ( we all know what I’M TALKING ABOUT) before I even came onto the blog site on Sunday night. If I had read a blog like that directed to any other person on here, I would have posted something to show my disgust at the threat.
Also nice to see no one even made a comment about the blog I wrote about my sister getting married yesterday to a wonderful man she met 5yrs ago on RSVP. I thought this might be a bit of encouragement to hear a good story!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 22, 2007 12:57 PM

Great minds think alike, Malsie. If other interstaters could come that would be fantastic. I had in mind to suggest we need an official photographer to record this auspicious occasion. What do you reckon, Eric? You could write the trip off on tax, surely? We will talk about you anyway so you may as well be there! We can then see for ourselves that you are probably not half as bitter and twisted as you sometimes come across.

Posted by: ninaschen at October 22, 2007 9:53 AM

mysticocean, I'd love to get to the next bloggers meet-up in December, if I can manage it; and it would be great if you're able to come too, wishingandhoping2.
How about you, thelynathdiary?

Couldn't you hop over from Adelaide, TC?? Probably a bit more of a hop than from Tassie! Perhaps the NSW people could travel down to Melbourne too?

Posted by: malsie at October 22, 2007 9:20 AM

An Adelaide blogger's meeting. Am I invited TC?

Posted by: rocco61 at October 22, 2007 6:58 AM

Sounds like a plan TC. Maybe a mini bus load could converge on Adelaide. Any excuse for an overnighter.. Better still.. A weekender and do the wineries while there.. Sav Blanc for you and K !!

Maybe a plan to start the New Year!!..Anyone ????

On that note I AM now off for some much needed shuteye.. Toodles.. "G"

Posted by: amdoingit at October 22, 2007 12:24 AM

there have been messages posted on this topic all day....how do u do it? I have tried all the things that have been suggested for posting and nothing works! I posted 3 messages and 16 hours later they are are still not on, but the fight and insults have been flying back and forth all day, HOW is it done!
DO I need to insult, shout and be rude to get on??? I am really stumped! jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at October 21, 2007 11:57 PM

Abraham Lincoln said the following - It is not titles that honor men but men that honor titles.

I really think both of these women are arguing the point from a different view, but one has a superior way of arguing the point and one is hiding behind the vail of PLEASE DONT BULLY ME.

Grow up this is an open forum and I really believe one woman is really right in the way she is arguing her point of view, right or wrong that point of view might be she is still in my opinion arguing it in the right way.

Good for you Amanda31

The guy who collects stats on this stuff, mate get a life please, you really make me laugh, get a life mate.

I am 41 by the way and would go out with a woman who is somewhere between the age of 35 to 48. Age has no meaning to me, whats important is the brain.

Posted by: six2512 at October 21, 2007 11:45 PM

Maybe we could have an Adelaide meet? I'll take you to my fav pub & introduce you to all the blokes.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 11:31 PM

Hmmm I recently went to a 160th birthday celebration for my favourite pub. THAT was an outrageous night. It was the many regulars & it was a fantastic night, warm & inclusive.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 11:30 PM

Oh my goodness me thelynaithdiary, are we meeting halfway? In all honesty that would be nice.

Madame N. I think there is a touch of outrageousness about you too.....

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 11:27 PM

Ladies (brilliantblue and amandad31) please don't get your knickers in a knot here, this is a blog and I have been on the sidelines here just reading what people write from time to time.

Just stay on subject and I do believe one lady here can be rather wrong at times and sensitive when its not even required. That one lady knows who I mean but I will not write anymore concerning that.

Just stay on subject this is so much fun to read this blog from time to time and get the views of other people. Cheers

Posted by: six2512 at October 21, 2007 11:22 PM

It is a scream, TrumansCat, believe me!

Posted by: ninaschen at October 21, 2007 11:20 PM

Not sure what for but thankyou Trumanscat and I am sending one to you too for the public service words remark....I secretly enjoy the challenges you make to me you know.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 21, 2007 11:19 PM

Trumanscat don't get me started on the sav blanc it could be verrry messy by nights end.
Thanks for the compliment. l just have a laugh and usually say most things with humour in mind, occasionally add a touch of sarcasm, and get a bit schoolmarmish now and then, hopefully that comes across.
Those who met me yesterday will be quite aware of my sense of humour l think.........k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 11:18 PM

Off to bed to meditate.
My son has the second half of his Advanced English paper tomorrow.
Wish him luck.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 21, 2007 11:17 PM

Hey AuntyKaz. Just realised something.... I like reading your blogs & I have never acknowledged that. I like your sense of humour, I'd love to have a couple sav blancs with you, it would be a scream.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 11:08 PM

Danever – are you also thefotografer?? I tried to send you a 'kiss' for your response but you are hidden. Consider yourself thanked.

Posted by: ninaschen at October 21, 2007 11:05 PM

Wraecca...I think you were a breath of fresh air and positive and friendly attitude was wonderful. I really like to see other people that happy. You seem to be a really geniune open person who just wants to tell the world when you're happy, I good on you!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 21, 2007 10:59 PM

Thank you all for the advice. Brave auntykaz is going to refrain from going into the bathroom and will leave Mr spider for sonnyboy tomorrow, when he will laugh at me, call me a chicken - yep thats me - and grab it and chuck it outside.

Now Miss Wraecca more than happy to hear good stories about you and BK, you just got to be careful revealing too much.
Keep the lovely stuff for the both of you to share.
There will always be people who don't want to hear about it and you can't help that, nor what they write.

l personally think that if you have met and there were fireworks then good for ya!.........k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 10:58 PM

Sorry Suzie, forgot to reply to your earlier post re PM. Think you could well be right on that.. :o))

Also, do normally try not to harm anything but when it comes to those huntsmen I freak.. To me it becomes a case of survival.. It or me and I sure as hell don't want to be the loser. Just a mindset I know but can't help it.. Do take the little one's out but not the big mothers... Sorry.. Think I'm too old to change now too!!!

Last post for tonight.
Sweet dreams all.. You too K.. Glad it's you not me... Beast aren't I? You needed to hear that right???

Posted by: amdoingit at October 21, 2007 10:56 PM

Wraecca... never let anyone on a blog dictate to you what you can and can't do (including me..hehe).. you do what you feel you need to.. listen to your own heart and head. Never let others define who you are... Your a wonderful person with a big heart.. let it shine..

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 21, 2007 10:53 PM

Bugger again. Apologies thelynaithdairy.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 10:46 PM

Ok, I'm back from my time-out to help AuntyKaz. I too am arachnophobic, it comes from having a huntsman climbing up my leg when I was 5. Needless to say, I can deal with most spiders, except for huntsmen. Find a fairly long-handled broom, and try to 'sweep' it towards the door. Make sure your door is open, then flick it outside. That way, you haven't killed an innocent (yet spine-shivering) spider, and you'll get good Karma.

On the topic of spiders, I think I may have a funnel-web living in my clothesline. Not too sure though, but I don't want to get too close to have a 'proper' inspection.

Lastly, there have been people who do not wish to hear anything about my happy news. So be it. I will no longer post any positive information or comments that may be interpreted as having anything to do with my potential love-life, even though it was on-topic (I said I'd only date older guys, BK is younger than me). Saying that, does that also mean that people who post negative stories about their experiences should also refrain from commenting?

Thank you for those who gave me positive feedback, whether it was to congratulate, encourage, or give positive and constructive criticism. However, as some people have taken exception to my naturally friendly and open nature, I won't inflict my happiness on you any further.

Looks like I still need some more time-out. Hope my idea helps, AuntyKaz.

Oh, and Ninaschen? Don't worry about 'outing' BrushKestrel, I just refer to him as BK because it is quicker to type, but I won't be typing about him anymore -small smile-

You guys win.

Posted by: wraecca at October 21, 2007 10:46 PM

You know they have a class at Taronga Zoo for people who have arachnophobia... it teaches you to realise they won't hurt you.. in the end you even end up holding one...

My ex is scared of them.. and once one fell on the car whilst coming home from dinner.. he screamed like a little girl.. it was hilarious.. I couldn't stop laughing.. then he wouldn't get out of the car when we got home.. I had to get out and make sure everything was ok.. hehehe.. wussy he was!!

Kaz...if you can try and catch it that would be much better then killing it.. but you do what you have to make you feel comfortable :-)

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 21, 2007 10:44 PM

K.. before yesterday the beans would have won but now I'm not sure?? Think I need to go back and have another go at the mango.. My god.. To die for!!!! Maybe I could just settle for the mango blah blah and follow up with the beans.. What the.. only live once so may as well live well :o))

Posted by: amdoingit at October 21, 2007 10:43 PM

You giggle? Somehow I can't imagine it.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 10:43 PM

And I hope that when fotografer gets over his grumps, he will apologise for offending you Wraecca (won't you Eric?

Yes I will

I am sorry wraecca for any hurt that I may have caused.

Posted by: danever at October 21, 2007 10:42 PM

Girls girls girls l cant even go into the bathroom much less do anything to it.
Suzie they really scare me in a totally ridiculous way l mean l know it aint gonna hurt me its all psychological and when that son of mine gets home in the morning he is gonna be in trouble for leaving his mama with a spider in the house.

And all of that was said whilst wailing at the top of my voice like the sook that l am.......k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 10:37 PM

bugger! done it again.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 10:35 PM

BB I tried the broom trick years ago. Bloody thing ran up the broom handle.. Never again. Now it's the spray for me and lots of it..
K.. try wishful's hair spray.. Needs to be seen..Is a sight!! Sorry if anyone finds it offensive but I hate the buggers.

Good luck K

Posted by: amdoingit at October 21, 2007 10:34 PM

Wraecca. Your enthusiasm, delight in your new relationship is special & the majority of us (gang or not to gang) support & encourage you on your journey, happy that you would want to share it with us.
Do not let the slings & arrows of the slanted few dent any of your joy.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 10:34 PM

Wraecca. Your enthusiasm, delight in your new relationship is special & the majority of us (gang or not to gang) support & encourage you on your journey, happy that you would want to share it with us.
Do not let the slings & arrows of the slanted few dent any of your joy.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 10:32 PM

I think maybe someones post was misconstrued...to be clear, there have been NO emails between myself and that woman.

The only posts have been here initial insulting of me personally and my retaliation of that........never any direct email contact.

Have fun, bye bye

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 10:30 PM

If it is on the floor, grab an empty jar and put it over the top. Let sonny-boy deal with it when he gets home. If it is on the wall cover it with the jar and slide a piece of paper between the jar and the wall then place the jar upside down on the floor and again, let the boy deal with it. If it is on the ceiling – good luck!

Posted by: ninaschen at October 21, 2007 10:29 PM

Kaz.. don't kill the spider.. they are good for eating other insects like flies.. if you really must get rid of him.. try and catch it in a jar and then release it outside..

I believe in the Buddhist priniciples of not harming living creatures.. its all about karma!!

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 21, 2007 10:28 PM

Auntykaz….I really can’t stand them either….I get a broom, push the broom down on top of the spider and hold it down while you push the broom along the ground and outside, that way you’re not killing it just pushing it outside. The hard part is getting it down to the ground.

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 21, 2007 10:26 PM

Auntykaz...here's a trick. Grab the hairspray and offload a large dose on said spider ('til it looks a little white on the edges). It'll stay stuck there until help arrives and tosses the spider outside where the dew unfreezes its legs (hey...I hate the things too and wont move one).

BB - if you are threatened - then seek help but don't sling insults, all that does is attracts more and it goes on and on and for the life of me I can't find anything in insult trading that is remotely to do with "Dating through the Ages".....no one needs to be insulted....hit the ignore button on your email and on here...and leave it at that....

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at October 21, 2007 10:26 PM

Well I posted that if any Sydney bloggers wanted to meet theres the Witches and Warlocks event on Friday 26th.. If anyone wants to come.. even if they want to tell me off or whatever it would be cool to meet people off here... :-)

No one in Sydney seems too interested!!

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 21, 2007 10:25 PM

Well OK then. That made even more sense. LOL

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 10:24 PM

A can of RapidKill is a must for the single woman with Aracnophobia.

I'll be in the next blogmeet. Sorry I missed this one.

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at October 21, 2007 10:23 PM

BB you need to alert the moderators if you feel threatened, that is part of their role.........k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 10:22 PM

Okay total change of topic...maybe it could be one......l have just had the first huntsman in the house for the season and sonny jim isn't here to kill it.......and don't yell at me for wanting to kill it l am a scaredy cat when it comes to them.
I think l have arachnophobia... l couldn't even watch the movie. l'm going to be too frightened to close my eyes, what to do people????............k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 10:20 PM

Wishfulthinker….I certainly don’t take kindly to being threatened with violence by that women and will never accept that behaviour.

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 21, 2007 10:16 PM

well said, wishfulthinker03. Let's get back to something more interesting, like more bloggers coming to a BlogFest in December. Would anyone else be interested?

Posted by: mysticocean at October 21, 2007 10:13 PM

Girls, girls, girls...when did Blogs suddenly turn into a schooyard catfight? You two need to back off and go somewhere else to offload your little insults, which are very juvenile. Who cares if one thinks the other is mutton dressed as lamb or what side of the tracks you came from, PhD or no PhD, use of English or not....just get the hell over it and leave it off the blogs....we don't need to see it and sure as hell don't want to read the copious quantities of crap you are dishing out. If you are emailing one another..here's a suggestion...CONTINUE so we dont have to be subjected to it :)

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at October 21, 2007 10:05 PM

A cast of thousands, ninaschen, absolute thousands....k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 10:01 PM

Oh Mr Weta you certainly arrived at the right time....k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 10:00 PM

I'll have a go at changing the subject, though it is not on topic. I had a brilliant time yesterday at the inaugural 'Victorian Blogfest'. The atmosphere was warm, friendly and relaxed. It was difficult to get a word in sometimes, as conversation didn't just flow but gushed! I thoroughly recommend that other States organise something similar. Then maybe sometime down the track, we can organise a National one. For those who care, the cast consisted of:

AuntyKaz
MysticOcean
Weta
Amdoingit
VictoriaDownUnder
TrumpRider56
SatinandLace
WoodnWine (our token Queenslander)
Decoratress (and her hammy puppy, Piglet)
A Reader of the Blogs (sorry, I have forgotten your handle)
Ninaschen

I had a blast and can't wait to do it again!

Posted by: ninaschen at October 21, 2007 9:59 PM

auntykaz...

.....I've wandered onto the site and had a read...and it aint funny.....nor attractive....nor mature nor respectful.......

Posted by: weta at October 21, 2007 9:57 PM

Wishing, thank you for making me giggle before I depart with that rather disturbing vision of grey hair sprouting out of a guys ears.

Lovely........take care

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 9:53 PM

Amanda, if you read back through this blog from the beginning you would find that most of us agree with that.
Not many women at the beginning of this blog were interested in older men. I know that I'm not and am prepared to wait or go without......of course older for me is your grandpa....who want to kiss a man with grey hair growing out of his ears????

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at October 21, 2007 9:48 PM

Are they better than mangoes amdoingit????

Ahhhhhh the mango it doesn't get much better!................k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 9:46 PM

I didn't see the end of it amdoingit.. but it seems as though we could very well have a new Prime Minister in a few weeks time :-) yay!

And yep Ninaschen.. hence my little question hehe ;-)

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 21, 2007 9:46 PM

amadad31, I think you are young, beautiful and arrogant, and I think you will become old, wrinkled and arrogant.

Posted by: mysticocean at October 21, 2007 9:45 PM

There is no need amdoingit as I will be leaving the blogs.

I have to say though, to be personally insulted on an opinion site, just shows the level of intellect and dignity of some of the older men and women on here............and older men typically use the how immature men my age are when they try and hit on me to justify why I should go older man.

I have stood my ground and got to the end of my argument,t hats all I could have asked of myself...a.nd not be bullied or the like by someone with clear issues of their own.

Good luck to those who have provided decent stimulating conversation and a bit of banter.

I can safely say, I would absolutely never date an older man.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 9:40 PM

Suzie, I watched some of it.. tail end ????

K.. I'm having those coffee beans!!!! Yummmm..

Posted by: amdoingit at October 21, 2007 9:38 PM

Are you kidding, Suzie? Far too much going on here!

Posted by: ninaschen at October 21, 2007 9:35 PM

No suzie l had to wash my hair..............k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 9:35 PM

You are right AuntyK .. has got pathetic.. Methinks those concerned should take their bickering off line.. Come back when it's all done.. If it gets too bad then let rsvp handle it.. Think someone on one of the blogs suggested a "time out" being introduced. Could be the answer!!
Can see your point wishingandhoping. I'm just switching off when I see that type of inuendo. Makes it hard for anyone to do a "normal" post with all this going on and lord only knows what anyone new to the site would think.
Maybe ED will step in soon and put an end to it????

Posted by: amdoingit at October 21, 2007 9:35 PM

Did anyone watch the debate tonight between Howard and Rudd? ;-)

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 21, 2007 9:33 PM

all I can see is a lot of 1080 being laid and you have all taken it. Loosen up girls!

Posted by: satinandlace at October 21, 2007 9:31 PM

I feel while you're young at heart it doesn't matter yet the cels can get away with much more than us every day folk its up to the couple involved what feels right to them

Posted by: bettie1 at October 21, 2007 9:30 PM

Wraecca and BrushKestral (am I allowed to 'spell it out'? Oops! Hope so!) - Along with everyone else, my very best wishes to you both. Ah, young love. Sigh.

And I hope that when fotografer gets over his grumps, he will apologise for offending you Wraecca (won't you Eric? Please?). I could be very wrong here but I expect he blurted without really thinking through the offence he would cause you. I am by no means making excuses for his inappropriate comment but I can tell you that there are many people of his/my generation that have yet to learn the art of thinking before they speak (me too, sometimes!). You are young, you are excited about the future and you wanted to share that with us. Thank you.

Posted by: ninaschen at October 21, 2007 9:27 PM

Wouldn't it be a laugh if some guys wandered onto this site and read the entries?.............k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 9:27 PM

My goodness girls! dummy spits all round!

Posted by: satinandlace at October 21, 2007 9:26 PM

I'm sorry that everyone else had to put with this rubbish but nothing gets to me more than threats, especially violent ones...no one has the right to threaten anyone else.
I will just choose to ignore this woman!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 21, 2007 9:24 PM

Brilliantblue, the only thing i see in you is some pathetic woman who insulted me first and took a good old slap down and I will continue to do so. You are hideous, there is nothing for me to be jealous of and although yes, you look okay for 46, for sure you are of no threat to me and would not be dating in my league thats for sure.......

Wishing, I do apologise, these slurs are only meant toward brillaintblue as she has been inexcusably rude nad clearly quite jealous of a younger woman.....I used those slurs to show that fact and nothing more and no offence would be in any way thrown in anyone elses direction, I am defending myself from what is clearly, a woman with a crisis of her own and attacking me as a younger more attractive woman

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 9:19 PM

Punching, biting, spanking.. wow, and all on a dating site.. The spanking, not my thing, but could fit if in the right context. As for the others.. let's get over it..
Have to learn to not take things personally.. Plus, need to be aware that "sometimes" it's just a carrot being dangled. You bite, you take the consequences. Not directed at anyone in particular. Ok!!

Be happy!! Remember, what you put out there you get back.. Karma!!!

Posted by: amdoingit at October 21, 2007 9:17 PM

BB if you are receiving abusive emails you need to let RSVP know.......k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 9:16 PM

Amandad31…Get a life…you immature piece of absolute garage!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 21, 2007 9:15 PM

Ninaschen, SWAT is on nine tonight if the debate ever ends, here and on TV.

AmandaD, there are some very lovely, sincere older women on this site and blog, and though I know you are not talking about me when you say those things to Brilliantblue, I do feel very insulted......I am so much older than her and hate to think that young women may have such a view of older women.

I have agreed with much of what you have said but not this attitude.....it's all about respect. Yes, Brilliantblue has been very rude to you too.

I can't really understand where this brawl has come from.

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at October 21, 2007 9:14 PM

Pathetic is what this blog has now become, with constant slurs and abusive tones. For God's sake are you adults or not?
Worse than schoolgirls......k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 9:14 PM

Amandad31….what is actually your problem?…are you jealous of females who still look alright at 46 or are you an inverted snob brought up on the wrong side of town who tries to bring down anyone they feel had a better life. I think from your attitude you have some serious issues going on in that head of yours. You’re so damm aggressive obviously somethings happened in your past which you might want to consider getting some help for.
As I said before don’t dish it out if you don’t want it back?
Obviously you have a very short memory…it was your rude aggressive email towards me with the threats that got us to this stage. I will never except rude, disgusting, aggressive behaviour from anyone. Every email since still has the same aggressive threats in them towards me. Do you ever learn?

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 21, 2007 9:13 PM

Wonders if the RSVP ED has had enough of this little cat fight?

Posted by: justmefiona at October 21, 2007 9:10 PM

Brilliantblue you swamp donkey........get a life will you......and bring on the insults, I dont care whent hey are from bitter old tramp who only wished she could be like me.

Get over it mutton...good lord

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 9:04 PM

Brilliantblue, nothing about me is crap, unlike yourself who is mutton dressed as lamb who says she is well brought up but looks like she would charge by the hour, but earn about 3.50

However, I shall not punch you on the nose, as clearly, looking at it, someone has already done that a little too much

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 9:01 PM

Amandad31….if you don’t like insults….stop dishing it out you silly COW!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 21, 2007 8:59 PM

thefotografer - NSW obviously has better programmers than those in VIC - Dukes of Hazzard is the film de jour, here. Hardly inspiring.

Posted by: ninaschen at October 21, 2007 8:58 PM

Amandad31….you make laugh!…you can name call and threaten all you like….just shows how shallow and low you really are. Unlike you I come from a good background where I was taught violence is never the answer.
You should learn to use the English language correctly with the right tense, can’t imagine how you got your Phd!….you’ve just given yourself away…everything you say about yourself is absolute crap with a big capital ‘C’.

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 21, 2007 8:56 PM

Oh darn, did i forget the ear biting?

Enjoy the movie.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 8:56 PM

Amanda31

Sorry I have to call it a night.
I feel like I have been 15 rounds with Mike Tyson minus the ear biting.

A good movie is about to start.

cheers

Posted by: thefotografer at October 21, 2007 8:51 PM

Nina, apologies, the threat of violence was aimed at someone being very personally insulting to me, not those who disagree with me........

However yes, I can understand your frustration as the male ego is meaning women of the same age of the men over forty are now being left behind for the younger model as they all think they can have them.....again a generalisation as is the only thing you can do here.

I dont find men my age to be immature, I actually find the over ego'd older guy to act more immaturely if that makes sense.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 8:45 PM

This has been an interesting read! 'Dating Through the Ages' has sprung to life again. Hopefully RSVP will put two and two together and realise the lame topics introduced in later months aren’t working too well.
Amandad - You gave me food for thought. You are obviously a very confident and self-assured person. Good on you for knowing exactly what you want and refusing to compromise your criteria. When I was your age and younger, I was usually drawn to men who were up to 10 years older. The reason being I found men my own age immature. The older I get, the more I am now attracted to men my own age or a little younger. They have 'caught up' in maturity. But now, damn it, they are less likely to be attracted to me as they still desire the younger model. Can't win, it seems! As I said, you gave me food for thought initially but you lost me when you threatened violence because someone disagreed, challenged and/or upset you. Totally inappropriate in this or any other forum.

Posted by: ninaschen at October 21, 2007 8:42 PM

Much better fotographer, then maybe your fragile ego would feel vindicated before I punched you back...then flattened it again

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 8:42 PM

Amanda31
Ok what you need is a bloody good punch in the nose.
Is that better ?

Posted by: thefotografer at October 21, 2007 8:37 PM

Fotographer, I dont want you even thinking of me in that way, it makes me feel sick, its offensive and its just wrong.....so dont

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 8:34 PM

Amanda31
A miss what finalist?
My impression is if you got spanked you would need to pay me for the pain.
Anyway, I doubt that you would even feel it.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 21, 2007 8:30 PM

No of course there isn't anything wrong with it, I hope that isnt how its coming across, what I am saying is that there is always a balance, as I have been calling it a trade in any relationship. There wont be a great big win of the older man getting a younger woman without a counteracting balance in favour of the woman..........so maybe he is a very attractive older man and the woman is younger, but less attractive.....or maybe the guy offers more security in her life than she would have on her own, or maybe she finds it better to be with a man that her friends wouldnt find attractive etc......

Not suggesting of course that was your case or anyone elses, I am just thoriwng these things generally out there.......I know happy trading relationships, we all have them, its only to what extent.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 8:28 PM

I dont see anything wrong with dating older men. As mentioned before I had a much older partner, and the way I looked at it, he was the same person when we met as he had been 12 years before... just a few more k's on the clock. Age wasn't a factor in our break up either.

Posted by: martingale1 at October 21, 2007 8:22 PM

Sorry for the "almost" double. Sometimes this site takes posts straightaway and sometimes it doesnt post at all, sometimes it takes 10-15 tries. Strange.

Posted by: martingale1 at October 21, 2007 8:19 PM

Thelynathdiary speaks Scooby sense. I don't think people should post intimate details of their love lives even if they're just hinted at, in a public forum. Well said that woman.

Posted by: martingale1 at October 21, 2007 8:17 PM

Thelynathdiary speaks sense. Well said that wise woman.

Posted by: martingale1 at October 21, 2007 8:15 PM

The 30 stone dribbler as I said, would in fact be attractive to a fellow 30 stone dribbler, just as an older person is attractive to an older person, an arty to an arty etc etc.....

Not sure why the 30 stone dribbler should have anyone jumping to his defence..........the fact an Elle Macpherson type woman wouldnt want to sleep with him should just be reality.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 8:12 PM

well turmanscat, although I am not sure what you are raving on about..although perhaps you have assumed that general comments were directed at you? I can safely say that sensible people would not consider a relationship with a 30 stone dribbler wafting eau de kraft an attractive proposition....gives new meaning to the concept of cheese stick now doesn't it?..and besides the oxygen tank would be a real nuisance ..
some of you people should learn to distinguish between reality and a little license when making a point...
Political correctness has forced you to be offended on the part of the 30 stone dribbler when he does not exist ,,,,
The advised TC was a little joke for me because I always giggle when I think of how many times you have advised me to stop advising....
People pay good money for my advice you know..

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 21, 2007 8:06 PM

Wraecca, why would you stop doing something that you love doing, and do well, because one, and it is only one, person puts a negative slant on things???

Keep blogging because we do want to hear some positive RSVP stories.

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at October 21, 2007 8:06 PM

In my opinion, it doesn't matter how beautiful, rich, young or thin your partner is, if there is no chemistry, these things are meaningless because there is nothing there.

Some people may not mind giving up real happiness to meet their criteria of what they think a perfect partner should be but maybe they have never experienced true love.

I have found that the most attractive and interesting people are not necessarily the classically beautiful or the wealthy.

Posted by: raphael62 at October 21, 2007 8:03 PM

Wrecca.........people sometimes can be incredible sleazy, its a reflection of them not you.

I am glad things were lovely when you met your friend and I hope it only gets better from here on in.

I think you will find the fotographer is trying to prove his own ego point, it has nothing to do with you....so please although I am sure you are offended, dont dwell on it too much, its a happy time afterall.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 8:02 PM

Ok, well, apparently I'm overreacting because I got upset when thefotografer quite legitimately suggested that BK and I were having sex after meeting for the very first time.

To me, even as a consenting adult, that is a bit too early. People here have been telling me to exercise caution, and when I do, I'm then told that everyone is assuming that I've jumped headfirst into physical intimacy. No wonder I'm getting contradictory messages.

In which case, I am going to give myself a time out. Please note, I am not 'sulking' or 'going off in a huff', I will be returning, I just don't know when.

I give up.

Posted by: wraecca at October 21, 2007 7:56 PM

Fotographer, dont make me puke....no older man could pay me enough

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 7:54 PM

Brilliantblue, if you dont find me stunning, thats no great shakes, when gorgeous looking, intelligent, successful men do, I wont worry about someone like yourself.

Good lord, I am an ex model and an ex Miss Uk finalist, I know how good looking I am, your silly pathetic slurs to make yourself feel better about being a bitter twisted wizzned odl hag just make me alugh.

Apologies ladies and gents, I know personal is wrong, but if you note what she wrote about me...she deserves one hard punch in the nose....and I hope one day to deliver....awaful creature she is

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 7:53 PM

Amandad31
Where do you get this shit ?
I had a look at your video, I think you need a good spanking from someone older.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 21, 2007 7:50 PM

Brillaintblue, you insult me personally, as any other human being would, yes I would smack you on the nose, hard....get over it

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 7:41 PM

Mysticriver.(Danny Ocean 11 12 13 ,and all those related)
I haven’t started to slur my typing yet but I am getting there.
Damn those NZ wines !!!!

Posted by: thefotografer at October 21, 2007 7:31 PM

Mysticocean what is it with a warm day and cold drink....although mine has got bubbles in it.. Such a perfect Sunday, beautiful weather, its nice to be able to sit down and enjoy the day without being cold......k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 7:30 PM

Wraecca without going back for an interminable wait for a blog to download I believe the fotografer said "come back and tell me if sex is bad...
He said that to respond to your denial and apparent outrage over something which is quite a natural function..not to be ashamed of. He did not say come back and tell me if THE sex was bad...that would weird.
He meant that his presumption based on your own description (which is full of innuendo and yes, leaves readers with the impression of a sexual relationship) that you may have entered a sexual relationship and that most people would have thought that was wonderful.
How would that imply anything horrible about BK? A sexual relationship for adults is not shameful. I can tell you now that most guys would be quite pleased by the free publicity.
Darling, you do have some issues, you are over reacting when you have set the scene yourself, but there is no need to justify and no one thinks you are a 'bad girl' if that is your worry. Your reputation is not harmed because you are anonymous, but neither would it be if you had engaged physically. What you do as a grown woman is your own business. the fotografer hasn't done anything(and in fact tried to help you) that can harm you unless you allow it to. That would be silly wouldn't it?

No more public posts with private information. You can still share your happiness but not your innermost secrets. There are lots of on line private support groups for women only which might be a better option. Talking about things is good and helpful, but only in the appropriate, safe arena.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 21, 2007 7:29 PM

The last comment was for Amandad31....you must come from a really good background threathening to punch myself and others out! How old are you?

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 21, 2007 7:28 PM

Fotoman, I don't think that I mean common ground. I mean that you are attracted to a person for a reason or a set of reasons.
In a couple, each person would have different reasons but there would have to be a balance of giving or the match does not last.

He might love me for my intellect and I love him because he makes me laugh and feel happy. Well, somewhere along the road life happens and I stop laughing. I stop laughing and no longer let my intellect shine through. The relationship falters. These are just examples as I haven't thought it through enough but there has to be a balance or there will be trouble....think I'm waffling now.

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at October 21, 2007 7:25 PM

an egotistical stud muffin….you have no idea who you’re talking too….you’re talking through you’re “A...e”. Maybe you need to look at the others profile before making such incredibly ridicules assumptions.
You credit yourself with intelligence but at the first differences of opinion you threaten violence…Wow! That’s really intelligent turning into a meat head!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 21, 2007 7:22 PM

could everyone just mellow out a bit? If we don't like what someone else writes, can we just think "hmmm, i wouldn't have said that...wonder what makes him/her tick?" and ASK them instead of judge them. If wraecca wants to conduct her relationship in public, that's her business...as she says, skip over her posts if you don't like them. Some people here do like them, and they'll read them. This is a blog, so she doesn't know who's reading it...she can't design something to appeal to all of us, that's crazy. If we don't like it, we should just move on. And just a word of support for the fotografer...he can write some stuff that is pretty supportive of women...I haven't read the blogs yet so don't know what he's just said ... possibly it's a case of foot in mouth disease but who doesn't get that occasionally?

As to the age issue, I have to agree that younger people don't find older peple attractive. I remember when I was 35, I closed my eyes when I went to bed with a 41 year old guy. Really. Perhaps we oldies forget what it was like. And of course we don't mind age difference, because we are thinking of younger people when we say that -anyone significantly older than us is already dead. Sorry to be so blunt. I'm not actually THAT old. It's the result of too much wine and a day in the sun...did anyone else enjoy themselves today??

On and wraecca and BK - hugs to both of you, young love is a great thing, and I don't care if it's public or private, that's entirely up to you two.

One last thing...another statistic...I'm good at collecting those...ABS data shows that Aussie women marry men 5 years older then them (on average). The older-younger marriage is actually a rarity. But it's interesting and I don't know why it happens. My ex-husband hooked up with a woman 30 years younger than him quite some time after our divorce. She was 2 years older than our eldest child. But it didn't break up our marriage, she was only 7 years old when we divorced. :-) Finally they broke up, of course. I think she had father fixations and I think he was deluded...

This reminds me of the question asked of a rock musician on Nova (can't remember who); "I see you're 28 and not married yet?" His reply was "No, but I'm not worried, if things go really well my wife hasn't even been born yet". Shades of Hollywood. I thought it was pretty funny.

Posted by: mysticocean at October 21, 2007 7:20 PM

Is his name Giles?

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at October 21, 2007 7:20 PM

wishingandhoping2.
Not at all, tis all good. :~)

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 7:14 PM

More assumptions.
Because a situation is true for you patience does not mean the same applies to myself.
If you fail to be attracted to an older man fair enough. The assumption that this older man does not physically attract me is false. I am not going to attempt to justify the attraction by waxing lyrical, suffice to say we share a chemistry which is on many levels. Next you will accuse me of being a liar because my experiences don't match your worldview.

And further to that I never asserted that amandad31 "should" be attracted to older men or accused her of being shallow for wanting simply what she wants.

As to "valid & sensible views" would that include a 30 stone cheesy man who dribbles?

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 7:10 PM

hiddencharms maybe the title is "the leader of the gang", remember the song by Garry Glitter????......k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 7:08 PM

Wishingandhoping.
I would refer to that as common ground and usually that is a moral issue.
It would be pretty hard to stay with someone who had a different view on basic commitment sexually and otherwise and even though we might ignore those things at first and think oh,he she didn’t mean that,I will overlook that,maybe I misread his/her meaning. Etc.
Eventually it will come back and bite as on the preverbial,so I guess that is what you are saying ?

Posted by: thefotografer at October 21, 2007 7:08 PM

Wraecca...I didn't get that impression from reading the blog the first time around probably because I've been keeping up with your other blogs....but I can see how maybe someone else who hasn't read the other blogs might get a different impression

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 21, 2007 6:59 PM

I'm now hoping there is a Scooby Gang and that Giles sends me a kiss.

I just love that actor...I think his name is Anthony Head.
He's in a show with Nigel Havers about fifty something men. I love it. It covers many of the attitudes/opinions etc that appear here, but from a very male perspective. It's a hoot.

TC, I was never offended.(Hope I didn't offend you)
I'm a big girl and don't really care that people have formed friendships here. That is a good thing whether cyber or real. We can use all the frienship and support we can get in this life.

You've supported me on these blogs, in the past, and I was grateful.

I don't need to be part of a gang or group, but more debate without slinging insults would be a better read for all of us.....I'd hate to make comments and be told that I was ugly or looked old. That's uncalled for in MO.

Brilliantblue, I don't even think that AmandaD built up her looks, just said she is looking for an equal...hey so am I.

As far as trading goes, ir's just the choice of words. It's teh reason you are with someone. They make me laugh, make me feel sexy, look after me.......I love them and so on. There is always a reason to stay with someone and this is perhaps called a trade by AD.......Each partner gives soemthing to the other or it will not last. There will be an imbalance and it will end at some point in time.

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at October 21, 2007 6:57 PM

Thelynathdiary, he has gone back to Brisbane. And there are people here on RSVP that have *asked* me to keep them updated, and at the moment I don't have stamps, nor can I afford them, so these blogs are the only way. If people don't want to read my updates, they can move to the next blog, I don't care.

As for being given 'fatherly' advice, there is a difference between being deliberately crude and crass, and giving positive and constructive criticism. You have written the second type, even if it is quite blunt. Thefotografer wrote the first type. And as for rushing for the next blog, he posted that comment, not on this blog, but on the one for "Online Dating Etiquette".

Oh, and I'm not actually revealing that much, pretty much the same stuff I'd tell my parents or grandparents. If it all falls in a heap, so be it. But I'm sick and tired of living my life through "what ifs", and want to enjoy the happiness that I have found. If it survives for the next 60 years, wonderful. If not, I live and learn from it.

God, why do I even bother...

Posted by: wraecca at October 21, 2007 6:56 PM

Amanda31 and fotoman: Wow! What a powerplay! Appears to be quite a contest to establish new blog superiority! What shall we call you? The Looney two-nes?

Posted by: hiddencharms at October 21, 2007 6:55 PM

Thelynadiary….agree that’s exactly how it used to work….women didn’t have much of a choice but not in this day and age where women are educated and independent.

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 21, 2007 6:51 PM

Wraecca l agree with thelynathdiary on the justification point you do not need to justify yourself to anyone here regarding your personal life.
That you wish to share it online is your choice, but l have to say that you should also be prepared for people to also write what you percieve as negative commentss. I think it is a fact that sharing your opinions also encourages others to share theirs, and if they differ to you then you have to be prepared for it.

If things work out for you well and good.
I think that if you want to keep the blogs updated then maybe minimal information should be shared and keep it private between the two of you.

Please also understand that your personal life should be just that.

That is only my opinion and l mean no disrespect or insult, just a little advice from one with a few more years on the clock......... k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 6:48 PM

Wishingandhoping2 and Hiddencharms, thank you, but it still doesn't change the fact that something that was so wonderful has been tainted by some person who does not know either of us, and obviously does not want people to be happy.

I can take a lot of bullsh*t from people, I've been hacked on for years because of my personality, but what *really* upsets me is that thefotografer would imply horrible things about BK. No, I didn't provide explicit details in our dealings, because nobody needs to know those things. I was just wanting people to hear a good story come out of RSVP, involving profiles that they know, and to share my happiness. Maybe if I *had* been explicit, and exposed our innermost thoughts to the masses, then thefotografer would have been happy.

Can someone please tell me if the following extract from my October 21, 2007 2:12 PM blog implies that we had sex, because that is NOT the case: "BK got in his car, and drove the 9 hours from Brisbane to where I am. Let me state here and now, that after a 3 hour conversation FACE TO FACE, there is *definitely* the physical attraction/connection, as well as the emotional one. I am sitting here with a massively huge grin on my face. Ladies and gentlemen, we exercised as much caution as we could, but at the opening hug, we were goners, lol....We were a little concerned that the physical attraction may not have been there, but very few people can make me melt with just a smile, and BK does just that."

I was actually talking about the emotional attachment and the physical attraction both being present, not the fact that sex was involved. If this is what is to be expected from certain parties on the blogs when someone has found happiness, I wouldn't be surprised if *nobody* shared their happiness and success.

Thefotografer has decided that I have 'brought this on myself', and that because I have left certain things up to peoples imaginations, then of course we must have had sex, blah blah blah, so in fact I am responsible for his horrible words. This echoes the archaic and despicable defense "the way she was dressed/acting/etc, she was asking for it" that some men will use in certain cases against women, where the men do not take responsibility for their own actions, but instead blame the woman for the sometimes violent, but always traumatic experience that these women endure.

I'm sorry if I'm upsetting people on this blog, but I feel unjustly violated by the sordid implications of that persons entry, and so I may be over-reacting....however it doesn't change how I feel.

Posted by: wraecca at October 21, 2007 6:45 PM

Just thought this might be a really positive note....attended my sisters wedding today. After 5yrs she married the guy that she met on RSVP.
Probably the reason for my over sentimental bit in the last blog about love.

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 21, 2007 6:43 PM

amandad.. I just want to apologise for my behaviour and blogs towards you.. uncalled for by myself and again I am sorry.

I do not however agree with you and that will not change.. you were right though that these blogs are for everyone to say what they want.. and that includes not only yourself but also the so-called 'scooby gang' .. And I guess if you don't like what they right then just skip reading it.. I don't always read everything on here if I don't like it.. Guess its the same as if you see a tv show that you find offensive.. you change channels or turn it off.. But again sorry .. and I wish you all the best in your search for someone..

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 21, 2007 6:42 PM

"(yes advised TC)"
.......and your point is?

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 6:41 PM

brilliantblue at October 21, 2007 6:15 PM

No, I think rather than lose the "real" reason for marriage, we have exposed a few different realities for a few people. In my opinion, we all make exchanges of some sort in all of our relationships. The price you pay depends on whether it is prostitution or not.

I'm re posting the one I tried this morning that didn't make it on. Not sure why some can post in *real* time and others can't. Perhaps another different reality?

Attempted post around 11.50 am:

Oh, the interestingness of tribal association and the holding up of mirrors. Yes, friends, RSVP blog land is as full of tribal associations as any society. Insider verses outside provides a moral compass of who we are and who we are not. What I find really interesting is what happens when a mirror is held up and people are challenged to look at themselves. The responses become more telling than the profiles they write. The choice in absolutes. I think it helps us to think about what do we expect from the blogs, the gaps that we seek to fill through participating. Reassurance, support, kind words, ego stroking, a sense of belonging or space to vent our frustrations. I'm not sure what it is that compels me to keep reading / and commenting from time to time eg what my gaps to be filled are. I know I really enjoy it when some-one really intelligent or observant holds up a mirror. Taking a second look can be liberating if you want it.

PS the screen does tell me I am signed in, there are no doubt many others who can't get a word in edgewise.

Posted by: gratitudegirl at October 21, 2007 6:39 PM

brilliantblue...the idea of marriage as a form of legalised prostitution is a cause for much debate.
Prior to very recent changes to laws about marriage and property a woman had not much choice but to trade her body in marriage to survive.
Marriage in the sense we know it has not actually been around for that long..a couple of hundred years.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 21, 2007 6:37 PM

Wraecca,,do you have the man of your dreams with you at the moment? Then get off the computer and go and be with him.
You don't need the minute by minute support of the people you rely on here...you can do this on your own.
You don't need to explain everything to strangers on an internet site. and you don't need to be an attention seeker. You should have ignored that comment and not rushed to the next blog to ensure it was noticed.
In this case, in his own cranky way I think fotografer has given you somewhat fatherly advice with your best interests at heart. The relationship is between you an Bk not you BK and all of RSVP and beyond. Stop revealing personal things which may come back to embarrass you at a later date. Remember what you write is on here forever.
It would be a natural assumption btw that a grown up couple who have had some contact for some time just might have taken things further especially given the romantic nature of the meeting. You do not have to explain anything to anyone or justify. No one thinks badly of you whatever you did or didn't do. Remember you are a grown woman who can make her own decisons. You do not need the approval of ANYONE to do so or to be happy.
Now go out and enjoy some real llife.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 21, 2007 6:24 PM

Wraecca....so happy for you both....what an absolutely fanastic guy to drive the 9hrs...I'm so pleased it was just as good if not better when you met face to face. Enjoy every moment....this is your time to be on top of the world. Don't worry about any negative comments, you just keep smiling

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 21, 2007 6:22 PM

Somewhere along the line of all these blogs haven’t we lost the real reason for marriage….when two people fall in love. Love does not consider how much money or status the other has. Love is definitely not selfish. Real love always puts the other first. I would consider love the only reason for marrying.

To me ( and only me ) to trade as Amandad31 so nicely put it (Not) is to prostitute yourself. If you marry someone so they can provide you with the big house money etc its got nothing to do with loving that person, you’re giving them access to your body in return for material gain.

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 21, 2007 6:15 PM

wraecca: In my opinion, fotoman seems to enjoymaking everything seem cheap and sordid...He certainly does not appear to be the kind of person who would enjoy or support others' happiness. He seems to thrive more on stirring and insults. In my weaker moments, I feel sorry for the poor, old man. He is obviously seriously emotionally challenged...

Don't let him get to you, or spoil any special feelings that you are currently enjoying (BOL to you both)...

I think that we should all just ignore the pompous and obviously imbalanced man and hope that he disappears into one of his own wine bottles and one of us can shove the cork in the spout!

Posted by: hiddencharms at October 21, 2007 6:11 PM

Wraecca, I am so pleased for you.

I sure didn't think the way the fotoman did.......can't really work him out.

It sounds as though you have met your butterfly man. Or your Toyota man- Oh what a feeling!!

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at October 21, 2007 6:07 PM

Hi Wraecca, I've been reading the unfolding story and I think its lovely that you and BK are happy together. People may have forgotten that this is RSVP and the reason most of us are here is to find exactly what you have found. It's nice to hear that it has worked out well for you.

I don't usually comment but I do read the blogs sometimes and you shouldn't worry about thefotografer upsetting you. As far as I can tell he enjoys winding people up.

Posted by: raphael62 at October 21, 2007 5:56 PM

Amandad….you sound so vain!....had a look at your profile ( was expecting something pretty down right stunning) and after your rude comment about mine….all I’ve got to say is get over it….your not all that…you look a hell of lot older than 31 and attractive as you call yourself is in the eye of the beholder. What one person calls attractive the other doesn’t! The way you speak to other people is down right disgraceful…do you really think you’re the only person on this blog site with a degree….just because the rest of us don’t gloat. And with your reference to my intelligence earlier on I can damm well tell you my IQ would leave yours for dead so just back of with this superiority bit.
Yes! You have a right to express your thoughts but not at the expense of others!
Your comment about the rest of us older women having saddle bags….well maybe you should take a good look at yourself first….and No! you don’t look anywhere near perfect me!
And with reference to the scooby gang it takes one to know one Amandad31

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 21, 2007 5:53 PM

I would like to know if anyone else here shares thefotografers sentiments on the "Online Dating Etiquette" blog.

Thank you very much, Mr Thefotografer, you have managed to make something that was wonderful and happy sound like a sleazy, sordid one-night-stand. I hope you're proud of yourself.

For someone like me, there are HUGE issues revolving around trust, which are not easily overcome. The fact that BK not only makes me feel safe, cherished and attractive is no mean feat, and he has managed to do it from afar. Now that we've finally met, he's exceeded all that I thought he was. And now, I'm made to feel cheap, sordid and easy. What does that say about BK, thefotografer? Maybe you can explain to him why you think we respect each other so little, why you feel you have to turn something so beautiful into some cheap, tawdry experience.

I hope you are happy.

Posted by: wraecca at October 21, 2007 5:26 PM

Whats this about a Scooby gang? A what?

Much rather have Josie and the Pussycats, or how about the Archies or The Partridge family??

That is if we are going to label anyone. Sheesh.......k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 4:57 PM

Wraecca, very glad to hear things went well. That's great.

I tend to agree with amandad31 that often fantasy runs away with us in these situations and not very often does the reality match up (exactly what I was cautioning my interstate guy about prior to us meeting, although he refused to listen basically...)
Fortunately for both you and I, we do seem to have "lucked" into it being as good in reality as in the pre-meeting connection. I suppose the real wild card is the attraction thing, and there is absolutely no way to reliably predict that.

Glad to hear the bloggers Melbourne get-together went well, by the way.

Posted by: malsie at October 21, 2007 4:35 PM

Actually reading these blogs is better than therapy! Scooby Gang is very funny, and it sounds like everyone knows now who is auditioning for the role of Shaggy, lololol!

Posted by: martingale1 at October 21, 2007 4:24 PM

Or "she drives me crazy" by Fine Young Cannibals. These are for BK.........k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 4:20 PM

What About "you drive me cwazy" by shakin' stevens............k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 4:18 PM

Wraecca. Have been reading (with interest) your love story and it's blossoming. Was going to comment last night but thought I'd best wait until today as I may have said a thing or two that some could have taken offence to. So glad now that common sense prevailed.

Let me say Congrats to yourself and BK. Well done, and may this be just the beginning for you both. Just goes to show....Go with the flow..and distance isn't really a deterent at all if you don't want it to be..

Wonder who'll be next!!!!!

By the way... what's this about a "gang"? Regular bloggers maybe.. gangs??

Posted by: amdoingit at October 21, 2007 3:34 PM

All the best Wraecca and Bushkestrel.
Romance blossoming in the land of blogs.
Happiness is shining through, no doubt he was singing all the way home too.

Posted by: anaturallady at October 21, 2007 3:05 PM

Wraeca..all the best for you and BK..wow..he makes your heart sing...hearing wonderful stories like this gives me hope that I may meet my true match on here and my own heart will once again sing a wonderful song.
Mary (romanceme4ever)

Posted by: romanceme4ever at October 21, 2007 3:03 PM

and also Bruce Springsteen's "I'd Drive All Night"...from "The River" album....a great ballad on a stellar album about observations of human relationships.....

Posted by: theundertoad at October 21, 2007 2:52 PM

Very romantic Brushkestrel..Wraecca I am pleased for you and hope you will always be happy.
Keep some details just for the two of you to share, that is one of the special bonds and rules of coupledom.
I think your theme song can now be Roy Orbisons "I drove all night"....
best wishes to you both

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 21, 2007 2:39 PM

Good on yer Wraecca - I hope it goes well for you both.
----
"Sinistrorse...if I am not mistaken I don't think
you are about to find the woman with the qualities
you are looking for on this particular blog....."
----
I don't think you're mistaken Lynath - I think you're spot on :)

Posted by: sinistrorse at October 21, 2007 2:37 PM

Just thought that I would not just comment on what has been going on in this blog, but also give people an update (for those who aren't interested, move on to the next blog entry).

I may not always agree with what people post, but I try not to allow vindictive and vicious diatribe to enter my posts either. Amandad31, you are right, this *is* a public forum, where everyone is entitled to their own opinions, yours included. You (and a couple of other bloggers) gave me some advice to wait until BK and I have met, to see whether or not that attraction was there, to see if it was 'fantasy' or actuality. I appreciated everyones comments, whether they be just cheering me for finding someone, or whether they be a friendly caution.

Saying that, when you posted your blog to me on October 20, 2007 10:11 PM, it came across (from my point of view) that I was part of the 'Scooby Gang'. Now, I admit that I have developed a kind of 'blog friendship' with a lot of the people who have been active over the past couple of days. However, I have not always agreed with what they have said, and have, at times, vehemently disagreed with them. What you wrote in your blogs on October 21, 2007 1:00 AM and 1:05 AM did actually upset me a bit. As I said, I felt that you had inferred that I was one of the 'Gang'. If that is the case, you are then implying that I do not support newcomers to the blog, or the expression of opinions. That is not the case. Over several blogs, over the past month or so, I have responded to old and new bloggers alike, and advocated that we allow each other to air our opinions, as long as it is not done in an insulting or confrontational way. If, however, you did not include me in the 'Gang', the above feeling will become null and void.

With your comments about 'trading' something in order to achieve a satisfying relationship, I understand what you mean. However, to me, the word 'trading' is a bit strong. I would go more along the lines of 'compromise', or even 'sharing', but then again, that's just me. I do see your point. We each bring something to a relationship, and if you really want to break it down into basics, a woman brings the nurturing, softer side (traditionally, at least), and the ability to bear children. The men bring the protective and stronger side (again, traditionally), and the ability to sire children. Some people bring an emotional strength that the other needs. Others bring financial security. No matter what the age, we each bring something to a relationship that the other person wants or needs. That's what makes it a *partnership*.

Amandad31, please take my above comments in the way that they were intended; a friendly discussion, where disagreement is acceptable, but done in a friendly manner.

Now, lastly, for an update. I had a surprise in store for me yesterday. After a pretty big D&M over the phone on Friday night, where a possible misunderstanding occurred, BK got in his car, and drove the 9 hours from Brisbane to where I am. Let me state here and now, that after a 3 hour conversation FACE TO FACE, there is *definitely* the physical attraction/connection, as well as the emotional one. I am sitting here with a massively huge grin on my face. Ladies and gentlemen, we exercised as much caution as we could, but at the opening hug, we were goners, lol. I can't even begin to explain how much my heart is singing, it feels so full of joy and happiness, I just want to cry.......in fact, I am a little, lol.

We were a little concerned that the physical attraction may not have been there, but very few people can make me melt with just a smile, and BK does just that.

Thelynathdiary, I understand what you meant about keeping some things to myself at the moment, but I am just so happy, especially since it has turned out so right, that I want everyone to share it with me. If that is wrong, then I am sorry, but I've always been a person who wants to share the good times with everyone, but keep the bad times to myself.

Well, I think I've taken up enough space now, you'll probably hear more from me than BK, because he can't seem to post blogs at the moment.

Remember everyone, Play Nice, and Happy Hunting!!

Wraecca.

Posted by: wraecca at October 21, 2007 2:12 PM

Not sure what point you are trying to make fotographer with all the cut and pastes, but I am wondering if you actually read that last article.
Firstly was it funded by Hugh Hefner?
In less developed or traditional societies the males are 5 - 15 years older than the females? Could that possibly be because the females are forced into arranged marriages and often married off when they are children as young as 5?
The most horrifying bit of the article was the sinister misogynistic social engineering with the aim to benefit men aspect of genetic engineering to ensure women dropped out of the picture at menopause..by higher mortality eg. death.....leaving the way clear for much older men to be granted their fantasy of the younger women.
I love the way they described them as guys and younger gals...doesn't sound quite as a bad as lecherous geriatric now does it?
The quotes were from people not even involved in the study and the case in point of Anna Nicol Smith and the old billionaire...need I say more?

and yes, the world does need men fathering 21 children each doesn't it?

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 21, 2007 2:03 PM

Just for you.completely off topic

With more than 2 million people driven from their homes, Darfur has been described as one of the world’s worst humanitarian crises. Fighting is increasing across the region and the people of Darfur are suffering violence, atrocities and abduction. Amid desperate conditions, the International Rescue Committee delivers lifesaving aid, protects women and girls, and speaks out for global action on behalf of the Sudanese people.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 21, 2007 2:02 PM

Meanwhile....in Dafur......

Posted by: theundertoad at October 21, 2007 1:47 PM

Older men who shack up with much younger women keep the grim reaper at bay for the human population and extend our species' lifespan, new research claims.
Even beyond movie stars and Playboy's Hugh Hefner, there is a tendency for older men to partner with younger women, according to the study, published in the Aug. 29 edition of PLoS ONE. In less developed, traditional societies, males are about 5 to 15 years older than their female partners. In the United States and Europe, guys are an average of two years senior to their partners.
More interesting, when old men father children, their genes seem to increase the lifespan of both sexes over evolutionary time.
How it works
Women often lose their reproductive capacity around age 50, but if men can still reproduce into their 70s, Darwin would say it's advantageous for males to live longer lives providing they can hook up with a woman capable of reproducing. Natural selection should favor longevity-boosting genes, which would get passed down from fathers to both sons and daughters. So women would benefit as well in future generations, the scientists say.
Result: Over time, the older-guy-with-younger-gal lifestyle would lift the lifespan ceiling for both men and women in the next generations and so on.
"By increasing the survival of men you have a spillover effect on women because men pass their genes to children of both sexes," said study team member Cedric Puleston, a doctoral candidate at Stanford University.
Anthropologist Cheryl Jamison of Indiana University, who was not involved in the research, called the results "fascinating."
Wall of death
From an evolutionary perspective, women who can no longer reproduce are non-players, and since "it takes two," men partnered with menopausal women are also irrelevant.
Following that idea, natural selection should select for harmful mutations that impact women after menopause. Over time, the discriminating genes would accumulate in the population causing what evolutionary biologist William Hamilton called the "wall of death," in which mortality of women spikes at the onset of menopause.
But why do men choose younger mates and females prefer older men?
"There is a lot of evidence from evolutionary psychology that men are seeking younger women and women are seeking older men," said anthropologist Martin Fieder of the University of Vienna, who was not involved in the current study.
Cases in point: At the age of 26, Anna Nicole Smith married 89-year-old Jeremiah Howard Marshall II. And in 1995, actor Tony Randall, then 75, married and had two kids with Heather Harlan, who was 24 at the time. Last month, 90-year-old Nanu Ram Jogi from India reportedly became the world's oldest father when he announced his 21st child.
Evolutionary psychologists argue that older men have more resources to protect and care for the family, while younger, more fertile women give their male partners better means of passing along genes.
In a study of about 10,000 Swedish men and women, Fieder and his colleagues have found that men had the most children if they were partnered with women about six years younger than themselves.
So the benefits of "age-defying" couples go both ways. Plus, the human species gets a boost.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 21, 2007 1:38 PM

WOMEN:

Women value love, communication, beauty and relationships.
A woman's sense of self is defined through their feelings and the quality of their relationships. They spend much time supporting, nurturing and helping each other. They experience fulfillment through sharing and relating.
Personal expression, in clothes and feelings, is very important. Communication is important. Talking, sharing and relating is how a woman feels good about herself.
For women, offering help is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength; it is a sign of caring to give support.
Women are very concerned about issues relating to physical attractiveness; changes in this area can be as difficult for women as changes in a man's financial status.
When men are preoccupied with work or money, women interpret it as rejection.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 21, 2007 1:21 PM

All you have shown me fotographer is a list of women who dont want physical attraction as part of their relationship.....that a desire for their partner is less important than a father figure, a man less likely to cheat as he wont be wanted by other women her age so she has the advantage, the security that he will likely stay with her as he cant get another like her etc etc....the more grateful man to flatter a woman with an insecure ego............anything but physical attraction is needed by those women and a sexual relationship is of no importance.

Not sure what you have proved there, other than there are a few women in hollywood who also dont need to fancy the men they marry and do so for political or insecurity reasons.....why arent I shocked that hollywood women would have father issues?

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 12:34 PM

Amanda31

That list is available to anyone with a internet connection.
Do a search you will also find list of young men marrying older women.
Do your research, I did mine.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 21, 2007 12:27 PM

Thank you Thelynathdiary, thats very nice of you to say.

I have been looking forward to some degree to the older man stepping into this debate to see whether it matched the views of the females earlier. Where the females earlier suggested that being attracted to the man wasnt necessary and a sexual desire based relationship was neither.......however, companionship and a good soul was.

So, I wondered what the older mans ego would make of that? Its interesting that my point is being proved correct, that they do think they can compete with the younger men and that younger, more attractive women, where they are trading up, do find them actually attractive physically in the same way they would a very good looking 20 or 30 something.

I think this was really educational in that respect....hence my comment earlier about the honesty factor about the trade is sometimes important, so that male ego isnt further damaged by him thinking he is sexually and physically desirable when he is only inf act security, be it financial or predictablility.......or if its for other reasons such as companionship or father replication

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 12:06 PM

Good lord, the mere fact you have that list says a lot.

I can assure you of one thing, as a very successful, attractive 31 year old, i would never go for an older man. Neither would any of the women I know who are very successful and attractive. The only women I do know are looking for either a father figure, are worried about guys their age cheating on them so want the security of the less desirable man physically or they want financial security as they dont have careers of their own and work in admin, or other lower end jobs.

Thats just a fact, from every woman I have ever known or met who has shared an opinion on that subject and that is all I will go on.

You wont change my mind that there is a trade there fotographer....younger or more attractive people than their partners do not find them physically attractive....they are with them for trade reasons....whatever they may be, or they would be with their phsyical equal.

However, if sex isnt important, as a lot of women said, then of course, the companionship comes into play and not the looks...as they dont have to share a bed.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 11:59 AM

Amanda31 please do not apologise nor explain yourself when you are expressing valid, sensible and realistic views and are the most grown up together woman I have come across in a long time.
I admire you.
The gang thing ,as people have put it, has just been adequately demonstrated in at least two ways.

Firstly, the posts attempting to either dismiss or when that didn't work character assassinate
Amanda31.
Secondly the supposedly conciliatory posts but each one containing a barb or a put down to indicate that they really support the 'gang'
Next will follow the whiney posts about aggressiveness and not being nice.all ways of controlling through fear of not being seen to be a "good person". It is quite a trait of women.

Can someone tell me where the censure posts to the ones who deserve it are? The ones who attacked Amanda for using her right of Freedom of speech. See how you have managed to twist events and posts around to support one point of view and to ensure a couple of bloggers remain appeased?

Are you all so terrified of being bullied out of the in crowd? This one sided view has been a hallmark here since the early blog days.

Did anyone also noticed a few comments about what people really think (but have been too frightened to express) slipped in-eg wraecca

Most mature people would have advised(yes advised TC) Wraecca to take it easy on a public forum prior to meeting a guy.Everyone is happy for her but she needs to keep some things to herself for awhile.

Group dynamics and behaviour is an interesting subject. Until the dynamic is changed you can expect to read superficial posts only.

Regarding those who are spouting the idea of a partner to whom they are not sexually/physically attracted I would say the following:
How will you form this intimate realtionship without some attraction?
2. Has anyone considered that the other person involved might have a need to be physically attracted to you? the laws of nature have ensure that there is little chance of that happening intiitally/ Sex free type relationships are usually long term ones which have turned into companionship not new ones.

The idea of equating looking for a sexually /physically attractive partner meaning a person is shallow is ridiculous ,as is the assumption that the attractive partner would be dumped if no longer able bodied. Initial attraction which leads love and committment are more likely to see a couple through adversity.

Sinistrorse...if I am not mistaken I don't think you are about to find the woman with the qualities you are looking for on this particular blog.....

Fotographer...breaking out of limited thinking to expand the mind is one thing for learning purposes or self actualisation purposes...when it comes to personal attraction why try to alter a lifetimes conditioning sake of it? I don't think it would be a good idea at all. I believe it is the cases where people do try to alter themselves eg experimenting with another generation for the purpose of a trade which leads to unhappiness. Amanda31 is not limited and does not have a problem..she knows what she is looking for and is going to find it.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 21, 2007 11:59 AM

7 Years

Orlando Bloom . . . Kate Bosworth
Phil Bronstein . . . Sharon Stone
Richard Burton . . . Elizabeth Taylor
Tim Burton . . . Helena Bonham Carter
Clark Gable . . . Carole Lombard
Charlie Sheen . . . Denise Richards
Frank Sinatra . . . Ava Gardner
Steven Spielberg . . . Amy Irving
Spencer Tracy . . . Katharine Hepburn
Bruce Willis . . . Demi Moore
---------------
8 Years

David Bowie . . . Iman
Russell Crowe . . . Danielle Spencer
David Donohoe . . . Holly Marie Combs
Jeff Kwatinetz . . . Brittany Murphy
Steve McQueen . . . Ali MacGraw
Nicolas Mirzayante . . . Princess Alexandra of Greece
Maury Povich . . . Connie Chung
Arnold Schwarzenegger . . . Maria Shriver
Kevin Sorbo . . . Sam Jenkins
John Travolta . . . Kelly Preston
---------------
9 Years

Daniel Craig . . . Satsuki Mitchell
Johnny Depp . . . Vanessa Paradis
Bill Gates . . . Melinda French
Joel Madden . . . Hilary Duff
John Stamos . . . Rebecca Romijn
Roger Vadim . . . Jane Fonda
---------------
10 Years

Bryan Brown . . . Rachel Ward
Jim Carrey . . . Jenny McCarthy
John Derek . . . Ursula Andress
Jonathon Frakes . . . Genie Francis
Christopher Guest . . . Jamie Lee Curtis
Elvis Presley . . . Priscilla Presley (Priscilla Beaulieu)
Ronald Reagan . . . Nancy Reagan (Nancy Davis)
---------------
11 Years

Michael Bolton . . . Nicollette Sheridan
Richard Gere . . . Carey Lowel
Harry Hamlin . . . Lisa Rinna
Penn Jillette . . . Emily Zolten
Arthur Miller . . . Marilyn Monroe
Liam Neeson . . . Natasha Richardson
Brad Pitt . . . Angelina Jolie
Seal . . . Heidi Klum
Ringo Star . . . Barbara Bach
Grant Tinker . . . Mary Tylor Moore
---------------
12 Years

Mikhail Baryshnikov . . . Lisa Rinehart
Sonny Bono . . . Cher (Cherilyn La Piere)
Joe DiMaggio . . . Marilyn Monroe
John F. Kennedy . . . Jacqueline Bouvier
---------------
13 Years

Jim Belushi . . . Jennifer Sloan
Pierce Brosnan . . . Keely Shaye Smith
Prince Charles . . . Diana Spencer
Gary Cooper . . . Sandra Shaw
Blake Edwards . . . Julie Andrews
Robert Graham . . . Anjelica Huston
Mick Jagger . . . Jerry Hall
David Letterman . . . Regina Lasko
Tom Selleck . . . Jillie Mack
Frank Sinatra . . . Barbara Marx
Rob Tapert . . . Lucy Lawless
---------------
14 Years

Alan Barnette . . . Kim Delaney
Bjorn Borg . . . Patricia Ostfeldt
Bruce Boxleitner . . . Melissa Gilbert
Michael Caine . . . Shakira Baksh
Joe Esztehas . . . Naomi Baka
Kelsey Grammer . . . Camille Donatacci
Loius Malle . . . Candice Bergen
Jack Nicholson . . . Anjelica Huston
Mike Nichols . . . Diane Sawyer
Geraldo Rivera . . . C.C. Dyer
---------------
15 Years

David Brenner . . . Tai Babilonia
Michael Flatley . . . Lisa Murphy
Dennis Quaid . . . Kimberly Buffington
John Ritter . . . Amy Yasbeck
Jerry Soloman . . . Nancy Kerrigan
Patrick Stewart . . . Wendy Neuss
Roger Vadim . . . Catherine Deneuve
---------------
16 Years

Richard Dean Anderson . . . Apryl Prose
Luc Besson . . . Milla Jovovich
Richard Brinkmann . . . Mena Suvari
David Carradine . . . Marina Benjamin
Tom Cruise . . . Katie Holmes
John Derek . . . Linda Evans
Kevin Kline . . . Pheobe Cates
Robert Lange . . . Shania Twain
Ric Ocasek . . . Paulina Porizkova
---------------
17 Years

Dustin Hoffman . . . Lisa Gottsegan
Charles Saatchi . . . Nigella Lawson
Jerry Seinfeld . . . Jennifer Crittenden
Jean Todt . . . Michelle Yeoh
Donald Trump . . . Marla Maples
---------------
18 Years

Fabian Forte . . . Andrea Patrick
Don Johnson . . . Kelley Phleger
John Mellencamp . . . Elaine Irwin
John O'Hurley . . . Lisa Mesloh
Gene Roddenberry . . . Majel Barrett
---------------
19 Years

Cary Grant . . . Betsy Drake
Anthony Hopkins . . . Stella Arroyave
Steve Martin . . . Kristin Davis
---------------
20 Years

Prince Albert of Monaco . . . Charlene Wittstock
Nicolas Cage . . . Alice Kim
John Rhys-Davies . . . Lisa Manning
Tony Curtis . . . Christine Kaufman
Les Moonves . . . Julie Chen
---------------
21 Years

Warren Beatty . . . Annette Bening
Peter Brant . . . Stephanie Seymour
Lee Majors . . . Karen Velez
Jerry Seinfeld . . . Shoshanna Lonstein
---------------
22 Years

Phil Collins . . . Orianne Cevey
Kevin Costner . . . Christine Baumgarten
Peter Gabriel . . . Meabh Flynn
Edward M. Kennedy . . . Victoria Reggie
Wayne Newton . . . Kathleen McCrane
Laurence Olivier . . . Joan Plowright
Carlo Ponti . . . Sophia Loren
Alan Thicke . . . Gina Tolleson
---------------
23 Years

Orson Bean . . . Alley Mills
Flavio Briatore . . . Heidi Klume
Harrison Ford . . . Calista Flockhart
John Forsythe . . . Nicole Carter
Frank Gifford . . . Kathie Lee Gifford (Kathie Lee Epstein) (same birthday: August 16)
Merle Haggard . . . Theresa Lane
Mick Jagger . . . L'Wren Scott
George Lazenby . . . Pam Shriver
Aristotle Onassis . . . Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy
Sylvester Stallone . . . Jennifer Flavin
Steven Tyler . . . Erin Brady
Bruce Willis . . . Brooke Burns
Bruce Willis . . . Emily Sandberg
---------------
24 Years

Hugh Hefner . . . Barbi Benton
Judd Hirsch . . . Bonni (wife)
Malcolm McDowell . . . Kelley Kuhr
Chuck Norris . . . Gena O'Kelley
Fred Thompson . . . Jeri Kehn
Donald Trump . . . Melania Knauss
---------------
25 Years

Humphrey Bogart . . . Lauren Bacall
Robert Conrad . . . LaVelda Fann
Michael Douglas . . . Catherine Zeta-Jones (same birthday: September 25)
Richard Harris . . . Ann Turkel
Norman Lear . . . Lyn Davis
Paul McCartney . . . Heather Mills
Rod Stewart . . . Rachel Hunter
Mike Todd . . . Elizabeth Taylor
Bruce WIllis . . . Nadia Bjorlin
---------------
26 Years

René Angélil . . . Celine Dion
Charles Dance . . . Shambhala Marthe
Mick Jagger . . . Luciana Morad
Larry King . . . Shawn Southwick
Steve Martin . . . Anne Stringfield
---------------
27 Years

Jeff Goldblum . . . Catherine Wreford
Jerry Lee Lewis . . . Kerrie McCarver
Rich Little . . . Jeannette Markey
Rod Stewart . . . Penny Lancaster
---------------
28 Years

Grover Cleveland . . . Frances Folsom (He: 49, 22nd U.S. President. She: 21, youngest First Lady. Year: 1886.)
Harrison Ford . . . Minnie Driver
Nelson Mandela . . . Graca Machel
Jack Nicholson . . . Sandra Knight
Kenny Rogers . . . Wanda Miller
William Shatner . . . Nerine Kidd
William Shatner . . . Elizabeth Martin
Alan Thicke . . . Tany Callau
Bao Xishum . . . Xia Shusian (He: former world's tallest man 7'9")

---------------
29 Years

Yaphet Kotto . . . Tessie Sinahon
---------------
30 Years

Paul Anka . . . Anna Yeager
Bing Crosby . . . Kathryn Grant
John Derek . . . Bo Derek (Mary Collins)
Frank Sinatra . . . Mia Farrow
John Tyler . . . Julia Gardiner (He: 54, 10th U.S. President. She: 24. Year: 1844.)
---------------
31 Years

Eric Clapton . . . Melia McEnery
Rodney Dangerfield . . . Joan Child
Robert Evans . . . Catherine Oxenberg
Dennis Hopper . . . Katherine LaNasa
Martin Landau . . . Gretchen Becker
---------------
32 Years

Billy Joel . . . Katie Lee
Ed McMahon . . . Pam Hurn
Geraldo Rivera . . . Erica Levy
---------------
33 Years

Tony Bennett . . . Susan Crow
Cary Grant . . . Dyan Cannon
Jack Nicholson . . . Lara Flynn Boyle
---------------
34 Years

Charles Dance . . . Sophia Myles
John McLaughlin . . . Cristine Vidal
Andre Previn . . . Anne-Sophie Mutter
Rod Steiger . . . Paula Ellis
---------------
35 Years

Woody Allen . . . Soon-Yi Previn
Dennis Hopper . . . Victoria Duffy
J.D. Salinger . . . Joyce Maynard (He: 53. She: 18. Year: 1972.)
---------------
36 Years

Clint Eastwood . . . Dina Eastwood (Dina Ruiz)
---------------

Posted by: thefotografer at October 21, 2007 11:54 AM

I think you have your statistics all mixed up.

I would suggest more women marry older men as typically women do not go for the lifetime careers....they always think a man will eventually pick up their tab...so again, marry for security, financial security and the security of the father figure.

Younger men do marry older women a lot, especialy of late........simply as a professional successful male who wants his equal, has to look a further broader range simply as the choices of professional women are still low as most women still go fro pocket money jobs rather than a provide for the future career.

I think you will find, that is the only reason

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 11:52 AM

I have to correct you there Amanda31

Statistics are against you, women marry older men.
Young men sometimes marry older women but as one guy was telling me in an interview about his failed marriage to an older woman after 10 years.

“She just got too old for” me”

Posted by: thefotografer at October 21, 2007 11:47 AM

Oh, the interestingness of tribal association and the holding up of mirrors. Yes, friends, RSVP blog land is as full of tribal associations as any society. Insider verses outside provides a moral compass of who we are and who we are not. What I find really interesting is what happens when a mirror is held up and people are challenged to look at themselves. The responses become more telling than the profiles they write. The choice in absolutes. I think it helps us to think about what do we expect from the blogs, the gaps that we seek to fill through participating. Reassurance, support, kind words, ego stroking, a sense of belonging or space to vent our frustrations. I'm not sure what it is that compels me to keep reading / and commenting from time to time eg what my gaps to be filled are. I know I really enjoy it when some-one really intelligent or observant holds up a mirror. Taking a second look can be liberating if you want it.

Posted by: gratitudegirl at October 21, 2007 11:34 AM

Of course age doesnt matter to you as you are older......am sure it doesnt matter to you.

As for the very attractive older women, thats why I say trade or equality...hence the less attractive younger woman would go for a very attractive older guy, but a very attractive younger woman wouldnt go for a very attractive older guy...as the balance isnt there.

I am sorry, but attraction is phsyical....not mental.....and physically a younger woman will only find an older man attractive phsyically if there is a balance....i.e he is in incredibly good shape and very very handsome and she is maybe not in such good shape and isnt so attractive.....then its equal.

However, yes, younger women will go for older guys for security, certainty or a feeling of being in more control.

Older women, go for younger men, as older women are sexually compatible with younger men......a 45 year old woman is sexually on par with a 20 year old male.....the older man younger woman, it has no logic at all

Sorry, thats just my view and as I say, i would rather stick my head in acid than sleep with a forty year old personally....no matter how lovely his heart is

However, I also wouldnt be sleeping with a gorgeous phsyical and age equal if he had no heart either.

Its just called equality, thats just a fact, no matter how much you older guys may like to delude yourself that you can in fact get more attractive or younger than yourself and they actually find you phsyically appealing

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 11:31 AM

Amanda31.
Well, that is something you have to work on.
You know,I could not care less how young or old a woman is.
If I find her attractive than age does not come into it.If I meet her and she seems headed for the funny farm than I am out of there,do you think I want to carry somebody elses burden at my age ?
Let me tell you, some of those older women who look after themselves leave a lot of younger women for dead in looks and in the body department personally I find a lot of younger women very unattractive and you would have to pay me to sleep with them.
The same can be said for older women,so in the end it comes down to initial attraction and then getting to know the person and thinking.yeh I like that guy, he sounds nice,maybe he feels the same about me,wow ,maybe we could end up in each others arms for the rest of our lives…………….but wait …….i have to ask him something.

“I was just thinking,before we take this any further.what is your starsign?”
Boy: “What is yours”
Reply “I am a Pisces”
Boy: “Damn! Sorry girl, you just can’t trust a Pisces and I think you look a bit older than me anyway…see yah!!!”

Posted by: thefotografer at October 21, 2007 11:26 AM

I am sure she did want you fotographer, as I said, there is always a trade, whether it be a father gap in her life, a desire to be with someone they deem to be less likely to cheat, therefore more secure if they are more attractive or younger...........there are many many reasons for someone not to go for someone based on their phsyical attractiveness.

I guess my points really is there is a trade, its not necessarily money fotographer, but there is one....or if she is very attractive, she would be a with a lovely, caring, affectionate very attractive man....that is just how it works...however if you fill a gap, like I said, maybe a father gap, or a security gap of her own etc.....then it happens.

I dont need to trade, so the thought of being physical with a man over 35 to me is qutie repulsive, thats just me.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 11:07 AM

Amanda31

A PhD does not qualify you for anything; it is how you use it that qualifies you.
It’s the same in life, when we become locked into our own limited thinking.
Using thought processes that started to come into play before we were six years old and had developed a subconscious.
This is the part that masters our thinking and controls our actions. We have a conscious thought and then we refer it back to our subconscious which has a quick look through our previous reactions, emotions etc.which have become ingrained in our unconscious mind and then spits out the action we take based on our learned past.
The only way this thought process can be changed is through consistent effort to replace those old behaviors with new behaviours, but it comes from a willingness to want to change. When we don’t want to commit change or unwilling to make change to things in our life which are causing us to act in negative ways then sometimes we have to sit back and ask ourselves why we hold those beliefs.

Now point 2.

These are true cases of old marry young.

A woman I dated, who was 48 and very beautiful could not stop talking about her first ex.
He was 28 years older than her, she was madly still in love with him and had a faded photo on the side of her fridge which I offered to restore for her. She refused to allow me to work on it because she thought she might lose it.
I asked her what had caused the divorce. She told me her husband was in a shipping company and traveled overseas quite frequently and had been having affairs with older and younger women alike. I looked at the photo, he was not a handsome man and was married to a beautiful woman but I just wondered.
The second case was a woman in Sydney, her ex was much older than her she was blond skinny tall and fit and attractive.
I asked her why she broke up.
This is what she told me, she fell in love with this 20years older man but then he wanted them both to move into a nursing home on the Central Coast. She objected because that was the last thing on he mind but he went anyway.
Now today, she still visits him in the nursing home and often breaks down crying because of the over powering guilt feelings that she is having.
For myself, I never pursued younger women. I was totally oblivious to anyone 10 years younger than myself.
I remember my ex brother in-law moving in with a woman 17 years younger than him , and at the time I even said to his daughters” what the hell does a younger woman see in an older guy, she must be after something”
I am now somewhat chastened as “this old” guy was approached by a very much younger woman who asked
“this “old guy to take her to dinner.
How could I refuse, we ended up getting married after two years. I was not rich, she just wanted me and you know, sometimes, shit happens

Posted by: thefotografer at October 21, 2007 11:02 AM

wishingandhoping2 sorry you didn't get the information about yesterday it was a lovely afternoon another one being planned for late November / Early December l think so will make sure you get an email prior..........k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 10:56 AM

Oh gosh, if someone doesnt have a need for sex, or passion and doesnt.....then of course, physical desirability will not be so important, if at all. I think the only caviat on that would be, say for example, if that wasn't understood by the other partner.........that it was companionship.

Oh the whole saddlebags comment.....it was after two people calling me emotionally barren........its a real below the belt comment to make and I lost my temper a little after two of the scooby gang throwing it at me.....to be personally bullied and have the thing that makes me who I am, my heart attacked.....just got my goat a little bit.....as I am honest, as I want my equal phsyically as well as emotionally, doesnt make me cold, I just have an extra criteria to say someone who isnt looking for desire in a partner

Hope that makes sense.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 10:32 AM

Trying ways to get a comment on to the blogs...

Posted by: decoratress at October 21, 2007 10:23 AM

Apropos of nothing in particular.....
Except working out how to get a comment on the system.

Posted by: decoratress at October 21, 2007 10:22 AM

Amandad31, that makes sense. It sounds like your partner is a balance for you. And I admire your honesty in saying that he gives you a warmth you don't normally have. I'm sure that you are giving him something equally valuable back though.

I think one of the things that may be relevant to this discussion is different people's needs for sex. If it is important to you then your partner's physical attraction is a big deal. I'm with you on that, I would not hook up with Mr Cheese. I would keep things to a friendship.

But I think some people don't have a big need for sex, that's just the way they are, and so physical desirability isn't as relevant in their decisions about a potential partner. I don't mean any of this as a put down to anyone, I just think people's needs for sex differ enormously, and if that's true then a partner's physical appeal will matter more to some people and less to others. It doesn't mean any one is shallow or lacking in anything important. Tricky subject, this one, it's hard to unambiguously say what you mean... especially through typing...
but this is probably a point where men and women differ..it would be interesting to hear what some of the men think...

And I agree with you completely about the undesirability of personal insults..they are dreadful and shouldn't be accepted by anyone...best to follow one's own advice, though... didn't you call some people "you bitchy little saddle bags" earlier? Hard to see the positive in that, but I'll keep trying....in the meantime I'll follow Trumanscat's advice not to respond to personal insults if i receive them.

Let's discuss issues, not individuals.

Posted by: mysticocean at October 21, 2007 10:19 AM

I totally agree, as I said in my response (which I hope was posted) to Trumanscat...............the personal insults are just not acceptable and people should be able to distinguish between opinion board discussions and personal insults about my emotional ability and ability to love etc etc......also mentioning words like 'pitying me' etc.....just isnt going to be tolerated by me.....hence I retaliated and its unfortunate I had to, as it isnt good karma on my part to do so.....but I wont tolerate that kind of personal insults about me as an individual.

I guess however, it probably makes those people feel better about themselves in some way, so maybe it was a trade :-)

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 10:19 AM

Ha amamdad l got the answer l had hoped.l am a nice aunty after all..

Thanks for not taking any offence as none was intended.
Personal insults from anyone are, in my opinion plain bad form so lets all be constructive and not destructive.

Trumancat said it beautifully..............k

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 10:12 AM

Auntkaz........you put it much more delicately than I did thats for sure.

Plus yes, when I mentioned the 55 year old 30 stone man who dribbles a lot, I would wholly expect a 25 stone 55 year old woman with a weepy eey to think he is Brad Pitt in proportions, or at least I would hope so anyway as everyone deserves passion, chemistry and a real desire for a good old smooch.

My points are moreso aimed at serial traders......like the guy who always goes for blondes, the woman who only dates 21 year olds, the ego bruised and the ones happy to trade to satisfy their flagging ego......as I hinted at, its usually the ones who repeat a pattern, so if a guy always dates younger, you are best to avoid as its likely due to bruised ego.

I know I wouldnt like to date a guy as I fit his profile so to speak.....but I would hope to fit his profile, if that makes sense??? I know confusing, but if he always dated women with a large chest, which I have, I would be concerned that I was just a chest..........however, if he liked women who were professionally on his level, were strong, emotionally fine, financially stable in their own right, adventurous, travelled, strong willed, a little quirky, a little geeky and also physically his thing, then yes, I would like that, but not the former.

I know some people put for example, financial and emotional security above the physical aspects..........some of those partnerships are longer reaching than any passion and attraction based ones..............I am just acknoledging that these exist.......

Apologies for the personal insults auntkaz, but I hope you also noticed, I had a lot of provocation from said people before I retaliated, I certainly never started it.......it was their fault, honest mum

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 9:59 AM

Been catching up with the past few days entries.
Phew what a read.

Amandad you are certainly entitled to express your view on matters as is anyone, and l think for the most part your entries are a good read you raise some good points.

One l have to agree on is physical attraction. If that isn't there you don't have the complete picture, just like if someone is physically outstanding but can't hold a decent conversation, you need the the whole package.

I think that settling for one or the other is a cop out. However what might be physically attractive to me may be someone else's biggest turn off.

And then we have that lovely chemistry.....when you click with someone it really is a great feeling whether you take it further or not, just being able to have a discussion with someone that is lively, enjoyable, and makes you happy.

Amandad at he risk of rattling your cage l would say maybe back off in the personal insult area, as l would to all who do it but l can't help but like what you write.

And by the way it is a beautiful day in Melbourne 30 degrees.....sorry........k

.

Posted by: auntykaz at October 21, 2007 9:51 AM

I know, I should be a grown up.... Although I do wish I had invented the computerised sucker punch.

I am using extremes, just to make the point, but as I am trying to get across, it isnt all bad.....such as the extrovert with the shy person...thats a trade, but brings the shy person out of themselves a little..............yes, some of them are more superficial, but who is to say who is more superficial, me or the person going for the younger or better looking (as in most cases and I say most......if say an older man goes for a younger woman, you will typically find he always goes for younger women......yet will likely be the first to cry superficial if she rejects based on his age).

I would just ask people, personal insults as I hit a raw nerve just wont be tolerated here..........its a discussion forum and I am discussing.....to make personal insutls directed at me regarding my emotional ability or anything of the sort is just wrong and not in the spirit of the forum

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 9:38 AM

Don't personalise the blog, don't respond "in kind" to a personal attack, it will just perpetuate the angst & aggression.
Thant would be a good rule of thumb....

wishandhoping2 I had no clue you felt that way.... I have been extremely busy with new job/relocation & I admit unless the topic "gets me in" I tend to skim the blogs. I guess if many people are making the same complaint there must be truth in it.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 9:32 AM

I am still reading my way thru the early Sunday morning stuff.

I don't think that I am part of any group or gang. Though I love Scooby and Tigger, I even have them sitting across the back section of my car. The results of a trip to movie world with the kids a few years ago.

I use the blogs, which I discovered in June, as a forum to discuss dating, men and relationships, with people that are in a similar situation. The dating over 40 was my favourite.

Seraphsuzie is right with one of the things she said, what is attractive is very individual to each person. And you do have to be able to talk, make each other laugh, get on outside the bedroom.

So someone who looks good and can chat, have a laugh, is important for me! I admit I am a very visual creature, which can be my downfall, as I have met nice men, who don't give me that spark! So I don't see them again. And as mentioned earlier, I am getting over my bad boy addictions

Amanda31, you also have valid points, and what I find hot, you may hate. That is what makes this dating game so much fun, and it can also cause so much heartache. But it is never boring! I have never, ever thought that we traded off . I am looking for what I like and want, my equal (and a professional, as I am a professional with a career) and eventually I will find it.

I/You/we meet someone, and if they are right, you hit it off, work it out and end up in a relationship. It is about balance, I think ornamentalonly said this, and I agree.

But bottom line, it is about LOVE . If you love each other, you can work it out. I am a firm believer in this! (I just haven't been in love for a bloody long time! )

Happy Sunday all, and it is a beautiful warm day to day....jewels.

Posted by: junebaby57 at October 21, 2007 9:30 AM

Glad to answer that Mystic.......okay yes, I would really like a guy who was my best pal, who had the same emotional depth as I did and shares my moral values. For me equality is important to me, I think I mentioned affection etc etc earlier, but thats fine, you missed that bit, it was a load of waffle.........but equality for me is key, I am stable, financially and emotiionally so I dont need to trade there, age and looks, no need to trade there, emotional, liking myself, feeling good as I sleep at night, its all good there too...so equal is all I would go for, so I dont trade. I however, approve of trades, regardless of how you want to word them.

For example, I am dating a guy at the moment who is very laid back and awfully kind and considerate.......totally tuned in and says the right things at the right time...its wonderful, so to some small degree, he is making me a better person as I want to then return that favour and make him smile as he does I.....thats a trade, not sure what I am giving him in return yet, but he is giving me a warmth that I dont normally have. He is however equal to me in professional level, emotional stability, intellect, looks, heart and soul and moral values.

To answer the road accident........I would never leave my best friend, ever...and my partner would be my best friend, I would chop my own head off rather than betray that...........however, to compare that to going for a less attractive or older person, I think its like comparing apples with oranges.......I guess if you want a sexless relationship which many people have said they are happy to do and be with someone lovely on the inside, then fine........but no, being I havent been in that position, I am unsure whether a sexless marriage would be great, but it would however be my wish to stay with him, even if it is sexless, although I wouldnt choose that life.

Hope that answers that question

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 9:29 AM

amandad31, i think that many people, but not all, do a trade or have a payoff in relationships. Clearly you do, and as long as you are not exploiting anyone (and you're not) I see nothing wrong with that. But not everyone thinks or acts in terms of trading or balancing. No point in trying to clarify this, though ...didn't you say in the blog below nothing will change your mind about the 'trading' thing...

however, here'sa question for you. Let's say you find your intelligent guy with the cute butt and the six-pack and you team up together..are very happy for a few years...you are still young and gorgeous...and he has a traffic accident and ends up disfigured by burns and in a wheelchair. What do you do, do you leave him?

In your ideal relationship scenario, I didn't read anything about emotional depth. Is a partner's emotional side part of your ideal...are you looking for someone who is an equal to you in such qualities as compassion, patience, unselfishness, loyalty?

I ask because my experience of people who see relationships as trades or payoffs is that they frequently leave emotional maturity out of the deal...but I'm really interested to hear your comments about this, there may be something I missed in what you said.

Posted by: mysticocean at October 21, 2007 9:21 AM

Plus may I also add, trade isnt always seedy.....for those who do trade.....as I mentioned earlier for those not a little overly sensitive as it strikes too close to home.......trade can also be a good and positive thing....such as a calming influence, or as much needed by some people, a sense of humour.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 9:15 AM

Brilliantblue....I am sorry, you just sound pathetic, I havent even looked at your porfile yet again, you personally insult me.

You turn around and say intelligent people dont know about life.....is that what makes you feel better abou tyourself to insult those more gifted than yourself in a certain area?

Trade is a fact, very attractive people go for very attractive people, unless they dont have money then they go for less attractive or older for money...to be as egotistical to think its as you are some kind of stud muffin is just walking into a wall of disaster.

It is trade......thats just fact........I am sure it hurts people like yourself to face that reality, but reality it is.

Good lord, hearing you bitchy little saddle bags is incredible, at your ages, you would think you would know better than to disgtinguish between opinion expressing and personal insult.......I hope I never bump into any of you at a function as I will be kinocking some noses.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 9:07 AM

No one has made suggestions that she look at older men wishingandhoping2. What was argued was the blanket statement that there must be a trade between an older man & a younger women for a relationship between them to exist.

If you look back I was simply sharing a relevant topic to this blog. "I" have met an older man & for the first time I am considering a relationship with a substantially older man. It's a revelation to me.... there is a real attraction there but having said that I would not enter into it willynilly.

My choices does not mean I advocate on another's life choices, I'd expect the same.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 9:07 AM

Amandad31….I think you sound very young and inexperienced with life….you’re wrapping everything up into the little boxes you’ve selected for love and dating. Who cares if you have or haven’t got a Phd, have you ever been to a mensa meeting….yes very intelligent people if they’re given a specific in-depth topic but socially and world wise most are lacking dreadfully…”intelligence” and “social/emotional intelligence” are two very separate things.
So please don’t presume you have the answers to preach….to use the word trade as you do over and over in your blogs when it comes to matters of the heart is like saying you’re prostituting yourself….after all a trade is a payoff.
I feel really sorry for you as obviously you have the inability to really love and care about someone else for the sake of them being them.

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 21, 2007 9:01 AM

typo amanadad31 not 32, apologies.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 8:58 AM

I wrote on another blog early yesterday about what I thought blogging to be.
I’ve been blogging here for many months and know that there is a clique. It can’t be denied as I have been here so long and witnessed it. Any time I have seriously answered topics, after thinking on them for a while, I’ve never been responded to for debate or otherwise. Go figure!! I know I am not stupid and usually think about things before writing. I also know that my view can be changed by lively debate.

As far as I can see AmandaD showed concern for Wraecca in her first blog and Wraecca agreed and answered well. I had those same concerns days ago when Wraecca said she had not met her guy yet bit was getting swept away with the feelings. I am a mother of a woman her age and would have told my daughter to put a halt on the emotions till meeting.

I didn’t get online to voice this as I know I would have been chastened by other bloggers. I am hoping for the very best for Wraecca and BK too. They seem every suited to me but I also think they should exercise caution till meeting.

I agree with AD’s views on older men too. Why should she look at them if they don’t appeal. I’ve said before on this blog that my daughter is seeing a man sixteen years older. That makes him only nine years younger than me. I don’t like it, but I do like him. She is besotted by him and so I respect that.

No matter what anyone says, looks are important. Just MO. That does not mean Hollywood good looks. It may be a cheeky smile, dimples, whatever appeals to you. Chemistry is important or it is just friendship. That is important too. I’m hanging out for both and boy at my age it could be a while.

Support for each other is important too, but we shouldn’t support each other by bringing other people down. Praise needs to be genuine and sincere too.

Posted by: wishingandhoping2 at October 21, 2007 8:58 AM

Amandad31….I think you sound very young and inexperienced with life….you’re wrapping everything up into the little boxes you’ve selected for love and dating. Who cares if you have or haven’t got a Phd, have you ever been to a mensa meeting….yes very intelligent people if they’re given a specific in-depth topic but socially and world wise most are lacking dreadfully…”intelligence” and “social/emotional intelligence” are two very separate things.
So please don’t presume you have the answers to preach….to use the word trade as you do over and over in your blogs when it comes to matters of the heart is like saying you’re prostituting yourself….after all a trade is a payoff.
I feel really sorry for you as obviously you have the inability to really love and care about someone else for the sake of them being them.

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 21, 2007 8:58 AM

Amanadad31. I am glad you agree to agree to disagree. :~)
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, entitled to sort through it without accusations of bitchiness or "fight,fight,fight!" from onlookers & I also agree it does not have to deteriorate into personal attacks.
I sincerely mean this amandad32, thank you for your best wishes.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 8:40 AM

I am up to this one now, there is so much to read. The legal questions, wishfulthinker you hit the nail on the head. I recently did a will, my first ever. It is all to my 2 boys equally. Though the older boy (he is 22) can not do any selling or pressure to sell until the younger boy (who is 18 in year 12) is 21. I don't want the younger one to worry about where he is going to live. My super will give them enough to pay the remainder of the house, pay bills, debts and have some leftover to play with. But it was really a hard thing to write, I almost felt like I was jinxing myself!.

Wraecca and BK, good luck, hope it goes well, but make friendship the goal until you meet. Amanda31 has raised some good points about the build up and the actual meeting, and the problems that can arise. I know she is right on this as a few months ago, that did happen to me. I am now older and wiser, but I wish you both well.

Though the remark about the Scooby gang raised a few hackles, I am having an interesting read!!!!

Trumanscat, good luck with the intelligent sensual older guy. I agree, if the chemistry and spark are there, not a lot else matters.

Happy Sunday, jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at October 21, 2007 8:28 AM

Sunday on a lovely morning, and it is lovely outside today, boy, this blog got very busy last night.

I did post something to say I loved the MOETS message last night, (mystic ocean, oct 20) but it isn't posted yet.

Mysticocean and fotographer were the only bloggers to actually offer any advice to my 15 oct message. Weeeeell the fotographer didn't give me anything constructive, but he was amusing! Thank you.

I have ended up blocking the guy in question as he broke the 3rd lets meet type date. He is not on RSVP, but that other place I also use. I feel that he is a player and a bad boy, and I am not interested in fooling around like that, and I must get over my addiction to bad boys, which came up as a topic in other messages. Seriously, I know why I get attracted to them, they have charisma and sex appeal, you don't find out about the bad stuff till later, I know cause I was married to one, BUT, I know how to break the habit now.

I went on a 3rd date with a lovely guy I have met on RSVP, a couple of weeks ago. He is closer to my age, lives in my town, is funny, intelligent and likes me as I am. I am going to see how this one will work out.

Re the delay in posting our messages, I always write up in word, and copy and paste into the blog box, making sure I am still logged on. I always take note of the time I posted and write it into the word copy.
For some reasons my blogs just take hours, sometimes days, to get posted. While other messages get on at the same time, because I go back to the blog, and other bloggers messages get posted in front of your eyes!!!!! The one I wrote last night is an example, there are heaps of other on in the early hours of the morning, mine was when I came home at approx 11.45pm and it is not there yet!!

Happy beautiful Sunday all. Jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at October 21, 2007 8:01 AM

Goodness me, and I thought RSVP was becoming a little dull... this thread reminds me of my early days on the news groups but that was mostly men posting - women do the bitchy thing so much better:)

Posted by: sinistrorse at October 21, 2007 7:32 AM

Trumanscat.........then I look forward to us disagreeing again soon....as thats what this is here for ........my point is moreso at the personal insults that people start throwing rather than the generalising ones...making direct attacks on me as a person.

I wish you every success on your date and future happiness with this or any other partner. My points were more about trade and balance, as I mentioned not in a sleazy way.

For example, I have a very good looking for his age 45 year old male friend. When he dates 45 year old women, they are also very attractive 45 year old women for their age.......however, when he dates younger women, they arent so attractive...(no I am not saying thats your case...havent even looked, dont know either of you).....but that gives it balance.

I also have a female friend who is very warm and nurturing, she often dates men who have lost their mothers young, or had mothers who for one reason or another werent the mother they were looking for......its their balance, both are happy...she loves that mother role over her partners and they are in need of it.

I am just being logical here of course.....and generalising.......no personal slurs are ever sent and I dont know your circumstances, but I hope it is a true perfect balance and you find happiness

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 2:02 AM

I am just happy that i am part of a scooby gang.. I have always loved Scooby... always one of my favourites... :-) Oh and the smile was for you Patience cause you seem to like them so much ...

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 21, 2007 1:56 AM

Political correctness has it's place thelynaithdiary, yes it goes overboard but so does domination of opinion, domination of "how" lives "should" be lived.
No doubt you will instruct us yet again of the "proper" way.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 1:55 AM

Thank you Thelynathdiary, very kind words and you are correct, not normally accepted on here and twisted etc.

My initial point was that there is a trade in every relationship, that doesnt make it seedy, or wrong even. For example a secretary may wish for a life of a nice car, secure future and no finanical worreis, she may be younger than a man who has these things, knowing she will not achieve them herself, she may be attracted to him not necessarily in a seedy manner, but for the life he can give her. Yes some of those same women will have affairs with men her own age etc etc, I have seen that a lot unfortunately.....thats a generalisation again, the only thing we can do on blogs giving opinions.

On the other hand, I have seen equals who seek equals. So is looking for phsyical equality any different to maybe an arty persona wanting someone who also appreciates art? I know arty people tend ot gravitate toward arty people, scientific people tend ot be attracted to scientific, sporty to sporty...........thus is it so wrong to also include physical or even financial in that equation?

As I am successful and earn a high salary, I would only want to date a man who is also professional....although a doctor on a lower salary than I would be acceptable. It doesnt make me heartless as I am not looking for a rude, insensitive, cruel player to be with...................as I am not those things, I am looking for my match, my equal, I am very affectionate and warm with my partners and as such would want that too......I think people can be more than judgemental, in fact the inverted snobbery factor when it comes to looks or professional success.

I am sure there would be had it not been for the time of night, a lot of admin assistants, nursery nurses and the like who would have also taken a pop at me for the comment about dating your professional equal too.

Its just the way it goes I suppose and I am only ever going to be honest and never stray from that, in my veiw of the world anyway and I dont go out to offend, only to open dialouge, but as I say, wont be personally insulted or have some scooby gang initmidation like a playground

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 1:52 AM

I am sorry you feel that way amandad31. However if you, or anyone else for that matter, make comments that I disagree with then I will argue the point.
That's a right I would defend.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 1:49 AM

I never had considered you to be of the scooby gang ornamentalonly to be honest, I have always found you to be, well one of the genuine discussers who use this board as its intended, to discuss topics and have a bit of banter or debating.

I voice my opinion, its always generalising, as thats I guess always going to be the case as there will be a few exceptions to even the most backed up rule........but I wont tolerate someone attacking me personally or making judgement on my individual character, heart, soul, ability to love etc.......what I find offensive about this scooby gang is they look to others to back them up, like gangland playground....that isnt supporting people or being friends......its actually just bullying and demanding compliance to some dominant players and their wishes for the blogs.

Anyway, goodnight all, I am off shopping as I am on business in Canada and its Saturday morning here (yep I got a day younger when I arrived).

Enjoy the rest of the weekend and dont remind me about how great the weather is this weekend, as its freezing here.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 1:43 AM

Amanda31..alas, you have become current blog victim' for a group of people who cannot think and reason as well as you do. this is not a place for any form of intellectual discussion or debate...they can't cope and don't like it! They will twist your words and change your meanings until you give up and leave. seraphsuzie belies her name and is known for her ridiculous nastiness and name calling when she is unable to comprehend or engage in discussion in a meaningful way. She peppers her written vitriol with smiley faces in an attempt to appear innocently lighthearted. In answer to your question Sue if Amanda31 has chosen her equal she will have plenty to talk about for a long time and as a bonus the sexual realtionship can and will continue on forever as she has chosen a physical equal to whom she is attracted.
Trumans cat likes to use public service type words to dismiss others ..words like "world view" "offensive" and "insecure"
Your statements make perfect sense and are based in reality whether people like it or not.
One of the effects of political correctness has been to condition people to be outraged by anyone who speaks the truth in case someone is offended.

Fotographer, how do you equate what Amanda said with her not believing there are fat young dribblers? Twisting words and ideas to discredit her but without any basis and irrelevant to the real discussion.
Amanda is 31 so to her 55 is an old guy...not 75 as would be for me and that was just an example she was using to illustrate her point. Amanda is is no way limited by her own choices and expectations regarding her partner and is in fact liberated by them.People who don't know what they want are the limited ones,
I am quite sure Amanda's idea of an "equal in all aspects" partner would be considered more than normal. I know that is what I am looking for. As she has stated there is a hierachy amongst people looking for partners as in life in general and she is very right in saying that there are 'trades' involved if you move out of your own level within the hierachy.

Perhaps you are all just upset because Amanda31 has all the elements that you wish you possessed /
Perhaps her comments which would not offend a thinking person, hit a bit too close to the bone.?

Amanda31 you are a breath of fresh air and clarified a few points for use in my own thinking.
I wish the happiest future with your young sixpacker wherever he is hiding!

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 21, 2007 1:36 AM

I don't belong to any gang.

I do write from my own experiences and like to support peoples' different views and their right to express them.

However, I do back off and try not to contribute to the mudslinging that can occur.

I'm now going to escape and relax with a book in bed.

Have a good night everyone and a peaceful Sunday.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 21, 2007 1:29 AM

Good for you Trumanscat and as it appears you have been accepted into the scooby gang....I am sure you will be really happy joining with them to gang up on anyone who doesnt agree with their philosophy on lilfe and love.

Have a fun evening

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 1:22 AM

I have been reading the blogs. And I am not accountable for how any one chooses to feel. I am accountable for my actions & I am happy with that.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 1:18 AM

Ermmm...read down the blogs Trumanscat..........You will notice many people referring to this group and their domination.

Alienation, no dont feel alienated, but do speak my mind..I certainly dont want to be part of scooby gang....its insincere not remotely genuine and so not worth the paper its written on...the over acted melodramatic stroking is not remotely genuine and just people making themselves feel better and offering nothing really constructive, helpful or even genuine.

I would be here for anyone, even those scooby gangers even though they are vicrious and like vultures.....but I dont need to bleat about it...I dont need to feel like mother theresa, I know whats on my inside and I am perfectly happy with it.

However, many people get ignored on here, the gang only responds to the gang and people do feel intimidated here, as if you follow the blogs down they do.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 1:11 AM

Demonstrate it amandad31. Back up your argument that the "gang" are "only" supporting members of the gang.
As far as I am concerned there is no gang but people who have been sharing stories, ideas & even arguing points over a period of time.
Maybe the feelings of alienation are a microcosm of what is happening "out there".

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 1:05 AM

Yes and Suzie, looka t how many other people talk about hte scooby gang.

You guys sit and prey on the very vulnerable who come on here and share something deep...then you suck on them like vampires to make yourselves feel in some way superior.

Then you have this little club of 6-8 of you that sit and rub each other and stroke each other...ignoring anyone but those that tell each other 'your special and my lfie is enriched by you' sort of over hammed stuff.

Notice how many people say that Suzie, yet none of you listen, none of you even take it on board.......as Pommysheila said, use MSN for that bull, we dont need to listen to your fantasising about being lvoed by these great freinds of yours, almost acted out, or should i say over acted

Its a blog, for opinions, to have banter with anyone and everyone, not an exclusive club of 8 and only those invited can become part of the scooby gang (ie those who can over ham act and those little vulnerables that mak you feel all better)

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 1:05 AM

amandad.. I really don't care one inkling how I look in your eyes ....

False gang membership and fantasy friends? Oh dear that is priceless... hahahaha!!

And hey you should really re-read your blogs towards TrumansCat and the 'scooby gang' then come back and talk about intimidation and bullying.... :-) Have a lovely night amanda.

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 21, 2007 1:00 AM

Oh and by the way, I will be nice and friendly to anyone, supportive to people who deserve it.

However, you have just Yaaaayed someone who actually backed you up in this artgument, that is teenage behaviour...good god woman, act your age...this is not a playground.

Its an opinion page and until then, I gave no personal attack on you, you have given many to me for having an opinion.

Scooby gang consists of some very sad people, quite clearly who back only those up who are part of the gang and show no respect or even acknowledgement to anyone tohere than those who boost their fragile egos and massage their wounded bleating hearts

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 1:00 AM

You say I need to grow up Suzie.....good god, hav eyou read what you are writing......you clearly were not popular at school so are reliving your schoolyard freinds days. You act out false gang membership and fantasy friends.

If it keeps you happy peaches, fill your boots, you really do sound qutie pathetic...now thats me to you, not general.....

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 12:56 AM

Oh i didnt know there was a 'scooby gang' on the blogs?? Wow and they actually support each other and are friendly to one another and share their experiences with one another too? OMG how vile of them to do that.. what on earth is the world coming to when there are actually people out there who are nice to each other....

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 21, 2007 12:53 AM

Oh Suzie, you sound like I referred to before, the schoolyard bully, got a bit of support and high fiving......no matter how many little schoolground friends you have, you wont look good in my eyes behaving like a litlte bully and you wont intimidate me

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 12:52 AM

Fotographer, the mere fact you are looking for a younger woman fed up with men her own age and then saying they are gross, dont know how to treat a woman etc....is just ridiculous.

It would be trade, you are not a hot younger man, so looking for a hot younger woman would mean you would have to be very wealthy or be offering something as a trade, maybe her issues with her father and needing one etc.

I dont lack anything, so am not looking for gaps to be filled by an older man and as someone who has had many men my own age as boyfriends and dates, I cant remember the last time I had one as you describe and yete I see many older men acting like pimped out stud muffins with huge bruised egos thinking they can pull women waaaay out of their league physically and determined to prove it whilst insulting the girls themselves and grossing them out.

Typical example, a 41 year old guy in our office doing some work this week, he thought he was something special and yet a complaint was made by the women about how much he sleazed...his defence....he thought they would be interested in him.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 12:49 AM

thefotographer.. I think I like you ....YAY!! for you!!

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 21, 2007 12:48 AM

Fotographer, the mere fact you are looking for a younger woman fed up with men her own age and then saying they are gross, dont know how to treat a woman etc....is just ridiculous.

It would be trade, you are not a hot younger man, so looking for a hot younger woman would mean you would have to be very wealthy or be offering something as a trade, maybe her issues with her father and needing one etc.

I dont lack anything, so am not looking for gaps to be filled by an older man and as someone who has had many men my own age as boyfriends and dates, I cant remember the last time I had one as you describe and yete I see many older men acting like pimped out stud muffins with huge bruised egos thinking they can pull women waaaay out of their league physically and determined to prove it whilst insulting the girls themselves and grossing them out.

Typical example, a 41 year old guy in our office doing some work this week, he thought he was something special and yet a complaint was made by the women about how much he sleazed...his defence....he thought they would be interested in him.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 12:48 AM

Trumanscat, I'm wishing you well from a very positive view and if it goes further -enjoy every bit of him.

If only I was so lucky too. :)

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 21, 2007 12:46 AM

Inadequacy takes many forms, irrespective of the external appearance the emotional wounds would have to be the most undermining.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 12:45 AM

Amanda31

Are you trying to say that there are no fat dribbling young people out there?
I stepped over a few the other night down in the Kings Wharf area of Sydney vomiting their little hearts out with their girlfriends while the boys stood back and watched so as not to get any muck on their clothes.

I agree with Trumanscat, you really are limited by the restrictions you place on your own mind and you are placing youth at the forefront of your selection process.
Believe me there are sometimes plenty of reasons why a young woman is attracted to an older man and visa versa and it is not always the way that Hollywood paints the scene for us.
We are not all Michael Douglas’s willing to pay 1 million dollars a year for the fidelity of a wife and not all women are like Paul McCartney’s problem child.
In other words every case should be looked at differently.
In my own case it was a much younger wife who was completely fed up with the yahoo and gross behavior of men her own age. had become sick of men who were still boys and had no idea that a woman was more than a piece of meat to be consumed after a few beers or drugs with the mates.

Posted by: thefotografer at October 21, 2007 12:43 AM

Suzie, I havent even looked at you, what I am referring to when i say looking at you, is what you write...you are personally attacking me like a coward behind a computer screen.

I am giving an opinion, on general people, generalising if you so wish.

You however are aiming directly at ME....for that, yes, I want to punch your head off your shoulders personally as you are not being general, you are personally attacking me.

You say I am unattractive in personality....well mother theresa who is happy with a sexless relationshp with a man who is only attractive on the inside......sure, go for it, I am ugly as a human being just as I would like to find my man gorgeous and attractive and want an equal in my life in all aspects.

I happen to have a great heart, a lot of compassion...I just don thave to bleat about it and just as I dont do charity bonking with less attractive or older men, that doesnt make me demon seed.

However, talking of ugly people, to attack someone personally in such a cowardly fashion...back at you chick

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 12:41 AM

Oh amandad.. sorry to disappoint you but no I don't feel inadequate at all... I am sexy, gorgeous, have a fantastic family great friends... And my whole life ahead of me..

And I never said you were ugly at all or unattractive.. physically... but hey if you want to call me ugly go right ahead.. YOU don't define me sweetheart.. only I can do that...

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 21, 2007 12:36 AM

Hey, a bit of levity here...last Sunday I went to an old time dance hall show put on by a suburban church.

Anyway...I did find one age limit for myself (besides babies under 40 years).

An 82 year old tap dancer.

He was beautifully dressed in his top hat and tails along with the costume cane and he was okay on the bar downbeats, just a bit out of synch inbetween.

But heck, did I hold my breath through every one of his routines he put on -hoping, honestly, he wasn't going to cark it right there and then on the stage!

I applauded vigorously when he made it to the end, more out of relief than anything else.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 21, 2007 12:36 AM

I am nothing like Paris Hilton and if you think so, well looking at you, I really wouldnt lose sleep over it.

Yes, that comment is correct, looks typically dont matter to those who dont have them............thats just a fact.

It is however, not a fact that I am not grown up, that I dont have a heart, that I have no compassion or that I am anything like Paris Hilton, you are just being catty and clearly feeling a little inadequate.

Get over it Suzie, you are just being catty and as i said, sitting behind a computer, cowardly

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 12:28 AM

Well.
This all began as a lovely sharing of the blog topic.

Hmmm.
One thing that is consistent though is the continuing assumptions, the continuing judgements.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 21, 2007 12:27 AM

Goodness gracious, I know this is me sticking my oar in yet again but...I was very attractive when I was married to my much older husband.

I'm prepared to post one of my 25 year old pics in my secondary photos to prove it too.

But I guess I'm going to have to agree with something you say on this point amandad31 - life is about balance.

I think that's part of what our pheromones are about. We are attracted pheromonally (is that a word?) speaking, to someone who doesn't have the same makeup as ourselves and that is one of the many levels of balance in this life.

But, each to his own and I don't make judgements on older women going out with younger men -even though it is not to my own taste.

On the rare occasions I do notice a young man -anything under 40 (and I've always been that way since my 20's) it is because they have an air of maturity and compassion, which I have always found attractive.

Maturity is often like fine wine; it takes time to develop into a full bodied, fine tasting specimen.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 21, 2007 12:24 AM

Bitchy and snippy? Hey amandad I am only echoing you dear and your blogs....as per 'Looks arent important to those who dont have them and they are hitting on someone who does.'...how bitchy is that comment??

Yeah I am a self confessed snob.. hardly...

Um and being like Paris Hilton has nothing to do with whether you have a PhD or not.. its the attitude ....

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 21, 2007 12:20 AM

Suzie, inverted snobbery is a vile trait, worse than snobbery itself.

Being bitchy and snippy toward me is just bang out of line. This is an opinion page, not a bitchfest and unless you are prepared to bitch to my face, then dont bother as that would just make you a coward.

I have a PhD, so hardly Paris Hilton.

Good lord, venemous bitching and you have a pop at me for compassion......its just honesty peaches, deal with it.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 12:15 AM

Ahhhh, Suzie, I am a geek, self confessed.......the six pack guy was a joke, tongue in cheek, although I do like very tall, handsome men who look after themselves physically.......I also insist on a bit of geek chic as I must watch science fiction and I am a science nerd.

I always go for the handsome geek, never the playboy over vain types who spend time staring at themselves in the mirror self scrutinising.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 12:12 AM

amandad31 when you grow up and actually get a heart and some humanity and compassion....come and talk to me then..

I bet your one of those Paris Hilton types right??

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 21, 2007 12:10 AM

Well yeah amandad31 geek is great.. I know a geek.. he is 36, gorgeous, wears horn rimmed glasses, intelligent, creative, and sexy as hell,.. he would leave your cute behind, six pack guy for dead.. You know you can only bonk for so long.. then what do you talk about with this guy for rest of your life? How good his biceps look? How hard his abs are? Give me a break... give me a geek anyday..

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 21, 2007 12:07 AM

Suzie, that man would be good enough for his equal.

Someone who equally had similar traits to himself, or he would trade.

However, when people are wittering on about not being attracted to whats on the outside, you will likely find as alwayss:

Looks arent important to those who dont have them and they are hitting on someone who does.

Age isnt important when the older guy is hitting on the younger woman.

Money isnt important when the accounts clerk, secretary or nursery nurse is hitting on the very wealthy investment banker

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 12:05 AM

Thelynathdiary....yes if he is a scholar and Trumanscats has like many of us, to some extent a geek attraction.....geek is the new chic.......then of course, that payoff could be the eye opening, the encouragement to venture further intellectually herself etc etc....there could be many reasons, but it will be a trade, it doesnt mean its seedy, cheapening etc...its just a trade.

For example, I have no clue about art or opera....I may end up with someone opening my eyes to that and get captivated by that......naaah...who am I kidding, if it doesnt have a cute behind and a six pack and a big pair of blue eyes, I really dont care :-)

Posted by: amandad31 at October 21, 2007 12:02 AM

amandad31.. to someone that man would be prince charming.....I don't think you get it...and you know to some people a relationship is not based just on sex.. its more than that.. hell some people don't even have sex and still have wonderful relationships.. It boils down to an individual thing.. what is attractive to you may not be attractive to someone else... However from your blog it seems like you are saying that guy would not be good enough for any woman.. ..Who are you to judge another human being?

Posted by: seraphsuzie at October 20, 2007 11:59 PM

Limits on myself?

Why would i not want an equal, physically and mentally as well as emotionally? I dont need a mans financial security as I earn more than most men. I am very attractive, so I want very attractive and men older are not deemed as attractive until I get there myself.

If you can share your bed with whats on the inside, then good for you, I personally couldnt and I dont think I am limiting myself, I would just like to have a physical attraction to who shares my bed and the thought of otherwise is quite repugnant to me. I dont need a father figure and my relationship with my father is healthy, so I dont feel the need t compensate there either. Neither am I insecure (no obvious clues there is there) so I dont need to date below physically to ensure cheating doesnt happen (another classic, women who fear of cheating men tend to sway for the less attractive or older male).

As I say, that lovely 30 stone man who dribbles and smells of cheese....what a lovely kind warm human being he is..........

Posted by: amandad31 at October 20, 2007 11:58 PM

Can you still buy boiled lollies Amanda31?

Of course there is always a reason for Winter/Spring relationships whether people want to admit it or not or are even conscious of it..the list of possibilities is long.
Personally the idea of catapulting my life on 20 years in order to enter the world of a much older partner is very depressing. It is unlikely they will be stepping back 20. Amanda you are speaking the truth that in the great majority of these relationships there is some sort of payoff.
Perhaps Trumans cat your payoff is intellectual stimulation.

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 20, 2007 11:58 PM

Wow then ladies, I have the perfect man for you.

He is about 55, about 30 stone, he dribbles down his chin a lot, he smells like cheese, but I tell you what, he is just such a nice guy, so warm, so articulate.........and if you are only interested in sharing your bed with whats on the inside....he is the guy for you, I will put him in touch as wow.......he has been single for a very very long time.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 20, 2007 11:53 PM

Right. OK. That made sense.

Let me see if I have this clear....
because I am attracted to creativity, ability to be articulate & warmth I must limit myself to whom & in what context I share a relationship with based on age?!
Really amandad31 I think this says much more about the limits you place on yourself rather than a "convincing" worldview I would want to adopt.
And as to success.... I consider myself successful & am willing to share it with that someone special.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 20, 2007 11:52 PM

What I meant to say before as well...

Go for it trumanscat, not as many of the young ones have the "dynamic, fascinating & charismatic" aspects that you mentioned.

Attraction, I find, comes from within. Not from the external shell.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 20, 2007 11:49 PM

Oh come on.......you have girl friends who are creative, dynamic, intelligent and ariculate and warm....you dont want to have a sexual relationship with them. Your parents are no doubt the same, very warm, intelligent, articulate.....etc etc.

I am strongly of the opinion and noone is going to change my mind......typically women who dont see themselves as ever becoming successful or of the level of wealth that they want, are attracted to men who do bypassing any physical equality.

Obviosuly there are exceptions where very attractive older men date quite unattractie younger women....but it is a trade, its a balance.

Typically its money and power as a trade witha woman who cant make it on her own steam......if an attractive, successful woman in her own right was to date, I guarantee it would be her age and physical equal.

Sorry, just my view....its a trade.

Enjoy your date regardless

Posted by: amandad31 at October 20, 2007 11:42 PM

Ummmm...when I married my late husband there was a bigger age gap than 20 years and he had no money or even, power as society's perceives it.

But we were deeply in love.

Now that is power.

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 20, 2007 11:41 PM

Hmmm OK. Assumption made there I think amandad31.
He is a student studying for his phd so not in any shape or form wealthy. He is creative, articulate & warm, qualities that attract me... and at the end of the day it's about chemistry.... performance is not about age if that is what you were alluding to.
Actually I have reread your blog & find it offensive. Trade? what do you mean by trade? That's an ugly suggestion & cheapens the sharing of my genuine attraction to this man.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 20, 2007 11:31 PM

Good for you trumanscat.....I personally couldnt find an older man attractive, but do understand some women find power, financial and secuirty more important than say the physical equality etc. I have a stepmother who is only 8 years older than myself, she found my dad's power and financial security, charisma a good trade for her looks and youth.....it does work when there is a trade, its when the older man deludes himself he is as physically attractive as the 28 year old guy with a six pack.

I hope you enjoy your date and he treats you as an older man should be treating a younger woman.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 20, 2007 11:11 PM

I recently met a man more than 20 years my senior out in the real world. I find this man dynamic, fascinating & charismatic. A very attractive man. Never before have I had the opportunity to develop an attraction to a much older man.
And if he asked me out on a date, which looks likely based on our conversations so far....I would say yes.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 20, 2007 11:07 PM

I seriously, hand on heart, do hope it all works out perfectly for both of you, I love a happy ending as much as anyone.

This will make you chuckle, but I actually remember speaking to a very handsome pilot from Greece for about 6 months online and on the phone. We used to video call at least once a day, he used to call me twice a day...we chatted for hours. He spoke about how I was his perfect woman, that I was professionally successful like him, how intelligent I was....it seemed perfect.

I flew out to Athens to stay with him for a few days........he came to pick me up at the airport and then, as it didnt click for him, he dropped me off within 5 minutes at a hotel and said he had a family emergency.......I never heard from him again and was stuck in Greece until my flight home.

If you had asked me at the time if I thought that guy would just leave me in the middle of Athens 5 mins after picking me up ....I would have told you 'not on your life'.

I wish that story of what happened to me was rare, but its not, maybe to a lesser degree, someone leaving dinner early, or just staying for one drink......but it can be very awkward and people wll tend to run and hide.

I confess, I am doing the exact same thing right now, a guy I have chatted to just as friends for about 5 years online........I have always thought he was handsome, does a similar job as I do, he even saw me once on a train in London when we both lived in Brighton he claims....he confessed he has always really liked me and its like loves young dream........he is supposed to be meeting a girl he has met before this evening, but only has me on his mind......it would be all so easy for me to think its all perfect........but I am determined to wait until he comes to Australia to visit in January and although he says 'he is coming as friends but secretly hopeful' I bet I wont see him for dust if it doesnt click for him.

Or maybe I am just an old cynic :-)

I do hope it works out, as I say, I love a happy ending.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 20, 2007 10:43 PM

Amandad31, I'm part of the 'Scooby Gang'? Cool! (lol)

But in all seriousness, I understand what you mean, and I also appreciate your concern. We are both trying to exercise caution, because what you say is true - not just about the 'fantasy', but also in regards to how we will actually respond to each other face-to-face. One thing I would like to point out, however, is that we have also been in communication via video-call. I know that this is not 'in the flesh', but it is more than just a disjointed voice on the phone, and a photo on a website. We are both people who have been hurt in the past, and who are vulnerable to slights and rejection. However, through our various modes of communication, we have come to respect and admire each other for not only our minds, but also for our spirits and hearts, and how we respond to others. So if nothing else, I think that we definitely have a firm friendship.

Thank you for your concern,
Wraecca

Posted by: wraecca at October 20, 2007 10:29 PM

I don't want to be a party pooper on the budding romance here, but please please exercise some caution.

I have been studying these dating sites for many years and the fantasist comes out in just about everyone on these sites but rarely gets to reality. I have seen a lot of people very hurt and a lot of people very disappointed as this magical love they feel really is something self created in their mind as they want it to be so. You can create your very own prince charming or princess and as we all want love very much, we tend to go the whole nine yards.

Again the scooby gang is ego massaging to support this, not worrying about what if these guys do meete and it gets nasty, which in many cases does, it doesnt often end well when people have built up such high expectations as noone can live up to them.

Hence my view, noone should date exclusively, noone should talk exclusively until one person really stands out in reality. I have heard so many people claim to be in love before meeting someone, which although it may be possible in some very very very small circumstances, whcih I believe is more likely luck, it almost never happens.

It sends shivvers when I hear people so committed to a fantasy and as much as it would be great to think of 'well its at least a lovely new friend'...I have rarely seen that friend be lovely if it didnt click physically when they met the person....I specifically refer to men here, women want at least a great friendship, men say they do to, yet if it doesnt work physically for them, you have never seen such cold shut offs....just be careful, as much as the scooby gang really do aggrivate me with their domination over blogs and constant high fiving of each other and over hammed stroking of egos......I wouldnt want to see them get hurt.

Posted by: amandad31 at October 20, 2007 10:11 PM

Hey, Wraecca, definitely not laughing at you - more smiling in a "warm" and "motherly" sort of way (if that's allowed - can't help it, you're more or less my lovely daughter's age).

Welcome, Martingale1 - I personally think it's great when people feel open enough to reveal themselves and their "lives".
Sometimes other people don't see it that way, but if you read many of the blogs, you'll notice there's a big variety in people's attitudes - pretty well like in all of life really!

Hi, thelynathdiary - glad to see you're still around (and have been).

Thanks, Aliane, for calling me "wise"!! (that doesn't happen often!) and thanks for your blog comments, that are almost poetical at times.

I hope everyone's weekend is going well. I too have no problem posting - they go in instantly - and I believe, as brilliantblue mentioned, it's because I seem to be continuously signed in.

Posted by: malsie at October 20, 2007 8:50 PM

Hey wraecca. I never "saw" it coming but I did think in passing that there was a "likeness" of being between yourself & BK. I don't mean on a physical level, rather a similarity of energy & spirit.

Posted by: trumanscat at October 20, 2007 8:24 PM

Funlovertoo....I'm definitely attracted to the more lively men as I think I'm more that way inclined too, mind you I have my moments where I just like veg out but the brain still has to kept active....can't just watch tv, have to be doing a suduko, crossword or reading a book while watching the movie. Love Brain Teasers so if anyone has any good ones...send them my way. Relaxing to me is to have the brain working on something I like....I think I just get bored very easily!

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 20, 2007 8:22 PM

Martingale1, welcome to the Land of Blog, I hope you enjoy the experience. Don't worry if you aren't too sure what I was posting about, if you are intending on reading through the blogs at some point in time, you'll come across the conversations that had previously been posted.

BrilliantBlue, Funlovertoo and OrnamentalOnly, thank you for your kind wishes. It is actually quite funny, for weeks we've just been corresponding as 'friends', talking about some of the stuff we had in common (which turns out to be quite a lot, lol), and it never dawned on us to be anything more.

Then came the first phone call. That's when everything changed. Chemistry and attraction hit us like a Mack truck. The issues of age and distance went out the window. To say that we've been talking to each other every day is an understatement (see the "First Phone Call" blog).

So for all of you bloggers who saw it coming, feel free to laugh at us, we sat down the other night, and over the phone went through all of our combined blog entries to see if we could determine where the chemistry was that other bloggers (take a bow, AuntyKaz, Malsie, SeraphSuzie) had spotted. We *still* have no idea.....

But keep your eyes peeled on the blogs, updates will be forthcoming, and I'm happy to share my happiness with everyone else (I won't share BK's, he can do that himself, lol)

May everyone else be as happy as I am right now.

Wraecca

Posted by: wraecca at October 20, 2007 7:42 PM

Good for you wraecca at October 20, 2007 3:24 PM :)

I even had a peek at BK's profile once he outed himself and I can see how you both would be good together.

To both of you, enjoy.
I like reading your comments on the blogs too. :)

Posted by: ornamentalonly at October 20, 2007 6:45 PM

MOETS, loved the advice given and the story that went with it. Made me laugh out loud. Happy saturday all. jewels

Posted by: junebaby57 at October 20, 2007 5:45 PM

I say welcome aboard Martingale1…the more the merrier and good to get prospective from different age groups

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 20, 2007 5:02 PM

onya wraecca!! So good to know that you have met on the blogs and that you're happy.
Took a look at BKs profile the other night, after all the hints and clues I worked it out, and I can see the attraction for both of you. It's so good to read a happy story here.

Mysticocean...love the scenario to tell after a French-farce is played out in your loungeroom.

brilliantblue..maybe you are attracted to lively, out-there (and out for themselves) people, male and female. and that's why you've been betrayed by both sexes?
Only guessing here.

Thanks woodnwine but would also like some more male input from the likes of thefotografer and (banned) nurse and purse etc.
Just for a male perspective, because it's all very well for us females to say something is wrong without knowing the male thought process.
The email segment that I found very confronting, upsetting and totally a breach of etiquette with a woman he hardly knows, was in my post at 5.30pm October 19.
Don't know if we are meeting tomorrow or not. Will phone later.

Had a fantastic, worthwile morning with the battle of the balloons in front of the stage at the Granny Smith festival in Eastwood, opened by John Howard.
He didn't look happy, gazing out over the 70/30% sea of placards and balloons, mostly against him.
Maxine McKew's team (Labor hopes to topple him) had huge numbers of purple balloons, the vote-for-change GetUp people (we don't have a party, we are diverse people who want him out) wore orange T-shirts, carried vote for change placards and massed near the stage with orange balloons at speech time.
A Liberal heavy was near me and calling in reinforcements with more balloons but there were too many people already there with vote for change and Labor balloons. Anyway, I'll be back in Bennelong soon to reinforce that vote for change message!
On the news tonight for sure. Channel 9 was filming near me.

Posted by: funlovertoo at October 20, 2007 4:22 PM

Not sure where the topic went...but the last couple of blogs caught my eye. Seraph..I too wondered when things changed so much (from love to what ya get when someone dies or leaves etc.).

However, having almost been caught out in THAT situation, make sure you write it up and see a lawyer (preferably an honest one!) and get it signed off - so if something happens to you then your children are left with what was rightfully their inheritance to begin with. If there is more than one child, make sure the "split" is equitable between your own children and any you may have in a second relationship...as I saw it, my TWO were going to be left with HALF of the property, his ONE the other...hmmm...yeah I see that being fair...NOT.

It becomes very "business like" rather than love and trust, but I've sweated and toiled too damn hard to pay off my house - to lose it to someone else.

I guess this goes with dating through the ages....took me ages to write if nothing else!!

Posted by: wishfulthinker03 at October 20, 2007 4:00 PM

Thank you for the feed back! If there's one thing I've learned in life it's that if everyone treated others, at least in their personal relationships, with respect and tolerance, then the world would surely be a happier place. For example, and I'm sorry to harp on about my own life, my father treated my mother, my sister and me like we were dirt and a big disappointment to him, I have no idea why and I don't suppose I'll ever know now because he and my mum are dead. My family life was miserable. My mum was actually scared of him although I don't think he ever hit her but she didn't dare leave. I grew up thinking I was as useless as he told me I was, and I pushed the self destruct button on every relationship I had, because I didn't think I deserved a good relationship. I'm over all that now but it took a lot of counselling before I could face what had been happening.

As for women who 'go for' men in power, once again I believe that is a self esteem issue. They don't believe they are worthy of respect or admiration so they team up with someone who is. Either that or they are straight-out golddiggers, lol!

And the same goes for those rich old guys with trophy wives on their arm - they also feel nobody will respect them unless they flaunt a beautiful woman. What they're really saying to the world is 'Hey, I must be great after all, look who I've got!'

With these sign in problems, The Fotografer, I've belonged to many blogs/bulletin boards in my time and I've never even heard of this problem before. When it refused to post the first time, I just did control A and control C, then went back and did control V and tried to repost until it worked. This surely should not happen though!

Wraecca I cannot comment on your post as I have no idea what youre talking about. Obviously this is a group of friends on here, I hope you don't mind newbies coming on as well. I'll trawl through the blog later if I get time.

Posted by: martingale1 at October 20, 2007 3:58 PM

Seraphsuzie..love and financial management are two separate issues
...besides haven't you heard the old saying
"love flies out the window when the bills come in the door!"
Things have become complicated since women were given the right to own property and more recently(last 20-30 years) been able to obtain money in the form of loans and credit in their own right without approval and backup(co signature) of a man..ie husband father or benevolent brother or benefactor and been "allowed" to be educated and hold jobs...even after they are married...even after they have children....
Marriage has traditionally been a financial and sexual contract for transferring a woman along with any possessions from her fathers jurisdiction to her husband..she agreed to give up all rights to her own body and her property...with all my wordly goods I thee endow and with my body I thee worship....it was not just a great excuse for a party. This happened until very recent times.
Fortunately some changes to the Marriage Act have taken place as well as to property settlement laws.

Any woman who does not think about her own future and take management of her own possessions seriously is mocking of the hard won changes which we enjoy today.
I love my children..there is no way I would do anything which may cause them harm including allowing what should be rightfully theirs out of my control.
There is more and more recognition of the problems encounter by remarriage or re partnering as well as same sex unions. I am sure there will be far more binding legal agreements available soon .

Additonally, the ageing population (worldwide) will effect the economy for the next 30-40 years. There is going to be a lot of people to support and not many taxpayers to fund them. Pensions may not be a given. There are already schools of thought about what to do about the looming problem ie
Intergenerational equity debate

Posted by: thelynathdiary at October 20, 2007 3:48 PM

Hi Wraecca,
I certainly didn't have a problem with anything you posted...just great to see someone so happy and a great encouragement to us all....so keep us posted on how its all going

Posted by: brilliantblue at October 20, 2007 3:35 PM

Age is a number on a piece of paper. Character has a much higher priority.

Posted by: mrsbubbles1 at October 20, 2007 3:30 PM

Hello everyone, I haven't really blogged over the last couple of days, been busy with work and such. I just thought I'd let everyone know that their guesses are right, their intuition was right, and yes, his profile name *can* be shortened into BK. Saying that, he himself posted a blog to *out* us, so thelynathdiary, it was a deliberate sinking, lol.

Seriously though, I know I may have been acting a little silly at times, but why is that necessarily a bad thing? This blog has mentioned issues from the age difference between people, to concerns about assets and liabilities when a relationship ends, to stories about ex-partners and their appalling behaviour. Why then is it so bad for BK and I to want to share our glee (that's pretty much what we decided it was) about taking the next step from friendship with people that we consider friends on this site? Woodnwine, TrumansCat, AuntyKaz, SeraphSuzie, OrnamentalOnly, Ninaschen, Malsie, Funlovertoo, as well as several more recent bloggers such as JuneBaby57, BrilliantBlue and MysticOcean (plus some others) have all interacted with either or both of us, we enjoy reading their contributions to the blogs, and have conversed either within the blogs or through chat/email.

I have said before about the reason we are all on this site, and that it is to find a partner. BK and I met through the blogs, not from searches or Cupids matches. We thought that our fellow bloggers may feel happy to know that *they* watched it happen, that *they* knew who it happened to, and that *they* might just find someone in the same way as we did.

For all of those bloggers who have played along, toyed with us (that's you, AuntyKaz, lol), or who are just plain happy for us, thank you. For those bloggers who have gotten cranky or snippy about the posts, or do not think that blogs are a place to share our happiness, then I am sorry that you feel that way. But I will not apologise for my posts, and I will most *definitely* not apologise for finally being happy and sharing it around.

We all deserve to be loved, we all deserve happiness, I just hope that everyone here can find that for themselves.

I will be staying on the blogs to continue conversing with people I have become friends with. BK knows this, and will most likely do the same.

Happy Hunting everyone, I'm out of it now.

Wraecca

Posted by: wraecca at October 20, 2007 3:24 PM