RSVP Blog

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Posted by: RSVP at June 1, 2007 5:04 PM

Hey Michigan i cant understand why you cant get a date.. pity you live in sydney

Posted by: cookbrekkyfor2 at June 1, 2007 12:56 PM

Living in melbourne you would think that there are plenty of women wanting to find someone. Well yes its true there are and I am sure that any number of them would say that there are plenty of men here also.....makes for a perfect match you would think..The problem that is encountered in all age groups and most areas is that if the person that you are attracted to isnt attracted to you then nothing is going to happen, and vice versa. You can be rich athletic emotionally stable, but if theres no spark ...."then it aint never gonna fly...."

Cynical you may think but thats the truth... AND I CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH.....heha

Posted by: cookbrekkyfor2 at June 1, 2007 12:54 PM

I think it's unfair for men to generalise that women are picky. I am a lovely open minded person. I am not after a guy for looks or income. However ALL the men I meet don't want a relationship, they just want female friends with benefits. So you can generalise about us, but we could generalise about you too. But its not fair to put everyone into a category, everyone is an individual, and we all want different things and there is nothing wrong with that.... if we can all just be honest from the start about what we want, then no-one gets mislead or hurt.

Posted by: Michigan66 at May 30, 2007 11:07 AM

For the women of Sydney who say there is a man drought, I think they should change their attitudes, the ones you send kisses to expect their knight in shining armour to look like brad pitt. I am no Brad Pitt but they are no Jennifer HAWKINS.

Posted by: stunut2 at May 29, 2007 9:37 PM

Lies and damn statistics is just an expression Bob51!
Statistics aren't lies, but they are not necessarily truths either. They can be manipulated to show whatever someone with something to prove likes.
They are a helpful guide for Government planners but unreliable in isolation of other facts, in my opinion.

Posted by: patience at May 29, 2007 2:42 PM

I have to agree with everyone who has said there are unreal expectations. As a single mother in my 40's, I have found a complete man drought... Yes, I have reasonable expectations in that I want a partner who looks good to me and doesn't look 6 months pregnant (beer bellies are a killer) but I don't expect a college education and I don't want someone who's going to run around after me like a headless chook. However, I have noticed that unless you're single, gorgeous, financially independent and ready to jump into bed asap you just don't get a look in... I have kids, I have my own life and I'm not looking for a superstar, mega-rich whatever - just an ordinary bloke who takes a little pride in his appearance... I don't think they exist...

Posted by: Cybergal at May 28, 2007 12:04 PM

RE:Post by julie
On one hand you chastise men your age for dating younger "plastic women."Then here you are dating a younger toy boy yourself.Maybe the older guys dont like your attitude and maybe the boys that you are with love being mummied.So what if you are earning 250 k a year,does it need to be said?

Posted by: digitalprimate at May 27, 2007 9:51 PM

The best place to find love?? Easy-in front of your computer lol

Posted by: digitalprimate at May 27, 2007 9:29 PM

Patience, re your reply to Peter, statistics aren't lies. Men outnumber women up to age 40. Of course there are married and gay men in each age group just as there are women in such circumstances. Anyone who says there are no nice single men or women in Australia is deluding themselves.

Posted by: Bob51 at May 26, 2007 9:01 PM

i've met 3 men in the last 12 months

1. by taking my elderly father to his doctors appointments the doctor tried to pick me up
2. by going for a daily walk and encountering the same young man on a regular basis
3. chatting to construction workers in our street.

ps i have no social life and still manage to met men through ordinary everday routine activities

Posted by: Pheasant at May 26, 2007 5:22 PM

There is no drought...women just dont want to know me! haha

That's the impression I get, but no, I'm not insecure about it : )

Posted by: Manticore at May 25, 2007 12:24 AM

Well I love living in Toowoomba but to date I am still single. I am a very positive person so I know that the right guy will come by. I just hope it doesn't take tooooo long.

Posted by: Leine at May 24, 2007 7:34 PM

I'm 56 and kinda feel sorry for guys in my age group. They were raised with a very traditional view of a woman's role yet are no confronted by females who have better jobs, incomes, cars etc than them. I'm sure that's why half of them chase younger women...its not just the kudos from having a hot babe on their arm, they can feel superior to them and fragile egos remain intact. Despite this somewhat harsh observation, I'm a really nice, warm and attractive woman. However because I am a General Manager, earn over $250K and drive a Porsche, they run a mile. The car really does it! I must trade it for a Hyundai (apologies to Hyundai owners, I'm really not being snobby) and I'm sure I'll do better in the man stakes or at least they wont turn pale when they walk me to my car!

This of course, pre-supposes that they actually respond to a kiss. You see, I've actually been honest (which is more than you can say for some people on this site) and admitted to being a little, just a little, overweight. Its akin to having leprosy. It guarantees you will be treated rudely by 90% of those you make contact with. You know what, guys? I'm still the same girl inside that I was when I was 10 kgs lighter and a lowly clerk on next to no wages. Its not a crime that I am successful or suffering what many women my age goes through..a little weight gain through menopause. Proves I'm human, not plastic, right? So right now, I'm seeing a man 20 years younger. These guys were raised by women like me and love the fact we can be out there having a great career, going for it like they are! They also find our curvier selves way more interesting. One one levl, I find guys my age just pathetic but then I take the charitable view and feel sorry for them as they are the ones who are truly missing out

Posted by: Julie at May 23, 2007 11:34 PM

You know really, it is just a matter of time. Everyone basically wants someone to love and be loved. Just be patient,do the things you love to do anyway, make friends and hopefully along the track there will be that someone special.

Posted by: julie at May 23, 2007 2:56 PM

Hey Malsie,

Thanks for your comment on my " Be Flame, not the moth."

I was once told this by a great friend of mine. Ironically, both he and I finished long term relationships at the same time (his the day after mine).

Once he said that to me, I never forgot it. And I felt a whole lot better about myself instantly.

I guess the simplest things in life are often the best, and that extends to the simplest of advice.

Cheers mate, good luck in your search if you're looking for someone here or elsewhere.

Posted by: Jair at May 23, 2007 2:22 PM

Lies and Damn Statistics Peter?
Out of the men in each age group how many are already married or living with someone? How many are Gay? How many don't want to find a partner?
How many live in remote areas?
Does it equal the same amount of women in those categories?
Need the bigger picture...
Traditionally there has been a woman drought in Australia but due to some of the factors above and more, the man drought might be a reality.

Posted by: patience at May 22, 2007 10:51 PM

I am interested to hear that so many women believe there is a 'Man Drought'. For those of you who are over 85, yes there is, but if you aren't then a quick reality check needs to be made.

Check out the ABS Report on POPULATION BY AGE AND SEX,AUSTRALIAN STATES AND TERRITORIES
http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/subscriber.nsf/log?openagent&32010_jun%202006.pdf&3201.0&Publication&8C8443D8A7E676EECA257242001B232D&0&Jun%202006&13.12.2006&Latest

Lets face it, there is more than enough men. You could go on to cast aspersions about the quality of men, though, similar questions could be raised of the fairer sex also.

In the end, I believe the pursuit of almost unrealistic expectations by both sides is more to blame.
The answer? Give people a chance!!

Posted by: Peter at May 22, 2007 7:31 PM

well im really disappointed in reading all this maoning a bickering if youn want something in perticuler u should have it this comes from previous experiences if your serious about getting to know some for a long term than you have to be attracted an have mental stimulation if you have children youde seek some one with children an preferably living not to far away if you have ur own home an are fairly stable u dont want some one who has nothing to offer you down the track for if they have nothing at 40 then you have no chance of building your financious for a great retirement holidays etc u may even lose ur hardwork so i agree you want some one who is close to wat u have so your lifes together are less of a finiancual burdern you want to have a more relaxed retirement not to work an sa for finding that person its not easy im 42 an have a eight yr old boy im attractive i work out work full time an i have my mind set for a man my age taller than me with his own home a car a good job not huge in weight but a bit of a belly i dont mind i like my man big i feel protected an its great for hugs hed have a couple of boys around eight an be responsible want to build a secure futer togeather an be fun enjoy me an treat me as ide treat him an ide be happy as can be i will find him for he was made for me im looking an i will know wen its him .ps the guys out there that are sleezzy an disrespectfull towards the attractive blondes make it hard for the other guys as ive have meet my fair share were not just sex objects it takes the trust away from the good guys well good luck to you all just have a good time with no expectations an the one ur looking for will just be there :)

Posted by: gloria at May 21, 2007 1:59 PM

bree, im a single guy from canberra and id say hi to you:)

Posted by: john at May 21, 2007 1:01 AM

Being a single woman, I personally dislike going out to the local pub on my own. Coming from a small country town, men seem to think, you are there for one reason and that is for the opportunity for them to take you home for a good time?? What ever happened to having a couple of drinks, a nice conversation and swapping phone numbers on the off chance that they woul d like to get to know each other better?? I had the privledge of one totally inebriated man approach me, told me I was cute, wanted to get to know me better and take me home. In the next breath he threw up down the front of me, talk about grosse. I find it much better going out with a group of friends, and it will be a while before I venture out on my own.

Posted by: Harminy at May 20, 2007 8:05 PM

There is a man drought in Canberra, I think they disappeared with the rain! Canberra is such a hard place to meet someone... it's not commonplace to just say hi to a stranger...everyone is too paranoid about what the people around them think...gotta move : )

Posted by: Bree at May 20, 2007 3:49 AM

Patience, I agree, it would be good to have a general "chat" forum on here and ability to make "same gender" friends (or indeed any at all), and as Oracle In Perth says (so wise, isn't he, just as every oracle should be...) seemingly we can take any thread and make it our own.

Where you live, regardless of female/male, we all seem to have similar issues to contend with (although living in a small town in Tassie do have to agree it's hard to meet like-minded people...).

By the way, love "be the flame, not the moth," by Jair - great stuff!

And also the comment about finding the love within (so true - but would also like to find it "without"!!)

Re height: I am a tall female, and prefer guys my height or taller, but is not a big deal to me - who men are as people being far more important (truly).

Good luck to all in your "adventures" - and really, it is just that, a great adventure.

Posted by: Malsie at May 19, 2007 10:56 PM

Well people, here's what I read in the Cairns Post today: CAIRNS is in the grip of a man drought with up to 50 women competing for every man aged 23 to 49. (!!)
But single women over 50 are spoilt for choice, with between 60 and 100 men for every female.
(http://www.cairnspost.com.au/article/2007/05/19/3116_news.html)

So if you're a male aged 23 to 49, please visit Cairns soon and pluck out a young woman and take her somewhere more exciting! Unless of course you like the lifestlye up here - seems like the place to breed with big bellies at every turn...

And if you're a female aged over 50 you might like to consider moving up here to replace your sisters who are apparently heading to Byron Bay. On ya girls!

Posted by: chocolatesilk at May 19, 2007 7:07 PM

I see alot of judging of a person's job preference here.
"stinky miner" etc?
Do the women fail to realize that the mining industry gives ALOT of incentive to many men (and women) due to high pay. If you're bothered by their stink so much, goto coles and find some lynx body wash, tell him to use it.

Dress sense not up to your scratch? maybe they are imitating others they see and haven't been shown a good fashion for their look. Again help them out, with your single male friends too.

Want an educated man? Go to the universities, but don't underestimate those without a degree, Many are intelligent but don't wish to pursue a tertiary study. There are plenty of blue collar workers with good success and business sense who are "smart", even in flanno's n jeans.

Quit being lazy and expecting everyone to suit you straight away and actually lend a hand to helping everyone reach a common goal in the dating scene.

Quit assigning people into different stereotypes with dating inside your "range", it does nothing but create anxiety between different people. Less then beautiful people can date beautiful people, there is more to offer then looks alone. Get the confidence and talk to everyone you find appealing, and even those you don't (friends have friends ;) ).

Whilst it's nice to be dating a guy with a big income, don't underestimate those who arent payed as well as promotions do happen, find a partner who has the motivation to succeed instead of rolling over with negativity.

Posted by: Archades at May 19, 2007 6:35 PM

PEOPLE, i understand this topic should be more spacious. Where do you meet your Mr\Ms Right? I guess it is all up to you-if you prefer online dating with someone you never met-go for it (many people like this way, pen-pal- as they married or attached and have plenty of time to spend some night time in front of screen, while their partners asleep). Other category-a time wasters and all they want is to get a "soulmate" for another 2 weeks, but they still in search, as the same person become boring soon. Very little category- a true people who really don't have time to go out and meet someone. They can be lucky to find their love and get out of here. In my opinion-it is up to you. More chances to meet someone your type is to go the places you want to be or you want to see you partner in. If I like art-I would go to galleries, if I like handyman-I would go to hardwere store(yes I know, sound stupid, but one of my friend found her love in one of this stores). Sport-go there, you like to dance-go for it, you are drinker-go to the bar...So many variants! And don't forget to stay yourself!
ps: sorry for any misspelling as English is not my mother language.

Posted by: passing by at May 19, 2007 4:09 PM

Now here is a FREE REALITY CHECK! The best place to find love is within yourself, but it's the last place most of us seem to look.

This is a TRUTH!

Posted by: annie at May 19, 2007 3:00 AM

This discussion seems to have sparked something of a "Battle of the Sexes". Guys blaming girls, girls blaming guys... but really, the things we're all complaining about boil down to the behaviour of people - not just the opposite gender.

All the things the ladies have mentioned so far about the males, I've seen first hand from many of the females here too.

Similarly, you can be sure that many of the guys are guilty of the same things that are being said here about the girls.

Perhaps 75% of the messages I've sent to girls here have gone unanswered. Another 20% or so actually do respond, only to indicate that they have no interest in chatting with me. Sure, I'm no prize, and good for them for knowing what they want, but it does highlight that it's not just a guy thing. And guys - you say women can be very selective, and have shopping lists? Yeah, like you don't?

I think the sooner we quit laying blame, and the more we realise that a brief textual profile isn't going to tell us squat about a person's character, the sooner more people will start to see that the so called droughts aren't as widespread as they're made to seem.

I've made mistakes here, and I'm sure many others can relate. I've fallen out of contact with a few girls in the past quite possibly only because I've made flawed assumptions based on my perception that they didn't seem all that interested, or seemed to be playing some kind of game. Text based communication really leaves a lot to be desired. Unless we're careful, it can be really easy to misinterpret someone's tone or intent and mistakenly think that all the guys are jerks, all the women are "stuck up", and that everybody is a liar.

I've probably strayed somewhat off topic, so let me finish with this: It will benefit us all to try to give people a chance before dismissing them. By showing eachother a little more understanding and patience, we may well find that the best place to find love is right where we are..

Posted by: ReeceOnline at May 18, 2007 9:40 PM

i've been reading all the comments sure we would like to go back to the OLD days whatever they were and spy someone to take home.and as for the blue collar workers i prefer them as i like practical men.men who can do things,fix things,as for a draught there are men or women everywhere you can pick up in the super market you just have to leave your safety zone and start talking to people plus i dont want a man to support me and i wont support him either a big pay check doesnt make a person more attractive a goer makes a person attractive someone with some life in them and i'm 50 and still get wolf whistles the day they stop i might admit i'm getting old no never play the field date 3 at once its like buying a car you need to test drive them all well maybe not all of them only those that interest you

Posted by: luciouliz at May 18, 2007 5:22 PM

Sincere men in the early 50's in Wollongong are pretty slim too. I'd like to be proven wrong.

And don't men have "shopping lists" too? when it comes to the idea woman?

Posted by: SONN at May 18, 2007 4:53 PM

ps Ultima wizard I have just read your profile and my final advice would be to get out of the fantasy and cyber world you are immersing yourself in and get into the real world .

Posted by: patience at May 17, 2007 11:34 PM

Ultimawizard..here's a hug for you xx.
You are only 27 years old..believe it or not you are a baby and there is plenty of time for you to find a great girl(as a matter of fact I have a 26 year old daughter...:-)

As a former shy(and occasionally still) person I understand your situation.
The shyness can be crippling so what you have to do is start engaging in activities that will boost your own self esteem and also make you an interesting person to be around. Your confidence will soar. Don't put yourself in situations where you feel awkward and tongue tied which will only serve to reinforce low self esteem.
Read the newspaper, see movies, read books, attend plays, sports learn about wine, etc whatever you like, so that you have something to talk about.
Know a couple of jokes.
One thing I have learnt in life is that nothing is certain and everything changes. Unless you take a few risks you won't change your situation. You cannot guarantee you won't get hurt and that you will find a sure thing to last a lifetime, but the alternative is not to try to experience life to the fullest. That would be a choice you would come to regret.
Although I said don't put yourself into awkward situations, I am talking about the sort of bars and clubs that Charles is referring to where there are some very ill mannered young women it seems.
Start making a big effort (no, force yourself out of your comfort zone)to date some girls from RSVP....the secret is to have something to do on the date. I try to avoid the recommended 'meet for coffee' date for two reasons. ! It is not romantic...more like a job interview.and 2 because it can be very difficult if you find conversation hard to maintain until you know a person. If you meet in a busy street(eg Lygon Street ) you can stroll up and down the shops and have an icecream browse a market or a big bookshop or attend a class in something together. That way the pressure is off and you will have something to talk about and the start of a shared history...which then gives you more to talk about.(and you will appear ten times more interesting to the girls who are expecting the standard routine) Also, have a few places in mind that you know about to take/meet girls for a casual meal drink cake etc.Being confident about those things also helps with your image. I promise you that it will become easier and easier each time and one day you will actually find you enjoy it.
Remember too, that no one is as sure of themselves as they may make out. Everyone is nervous on first dates and finally tell yourself everyday that you are just as good as anyone and better than most....and believe it!
best wishes,
Patience

Posted by: patience at May 17, 2007 11:03 PM

Hmmm not sure why Perth gets a bagging, seems lots of everything for everyone here. I've met a few good friends through RSVP - maybe not the "one", only time will tell. Lets face it, a one page profile and a few pics cant adequately describe anyone, its a vetting system, no more no less, keep the demands low, and the hopes high !

Posted by: Alan at May 17, 2007 8:32 PM

Excuse me. I will accept the fact that there may be a 'women/man drought' in some small towns or in an area where a certain type of industry dominates (mining etc)...but stop using this as an excuse if you reside in any major city/town in Australia. I can't believe the rubbish I'm reading about all the girls/guys in Sydney/Newcastle/Perth/Hobart etc...whom are all arrogant/cold/dishonest/boring...! Every city/town with a population over 30,000 will have its fair share of guys/girls with all types of characters and personalities. It may be comforting to blame the entire 'opposite gender' in your city for your single status, but it won't be constructive. The only way to improve your situation is to take responsibility for it. There is nothing more undesirable than a habitual complainer, one who decides to be cynical. Take responsibility for your decisions and actions that have created your present situation and move on. Put yourself in the driver's seat of your life. Drive it with much purpose, passion and integrity. Make the first move with the opposite gender...how many opportunities have you wasted whilst at a party/pub surrounding yourself with a security blanket of friends, a group that potential partners dare not enter. Smile first, speak first and phone first. Time to grow up and take control of your life. Go forth and multiply...no more excuses!

Posted by: PhD at May 17, 2007 6:44 PM

I guess everybody is out there looking for something as close to perfect as they can find. So where to find it? If we knew then we probably wouldn't need to ask.
I'm not sure I agree that it doesn't happen in pubs and clubs anymore; certainly it's probably not as likely to find whom you're looking for there but I still believe it's quite possibly the most tried and true place outside of the workplace or at, say, a party. The other night I went out pubbing with some friends from work and I could be quite wrong about this but I think I was being checked seriously by a very attractive woman. Of course, I did nothing to pursue this and was berated extensively for that by my mates. Having just recently finished a long term relationship, something told me that it wasn't the right time. Gut instinct or something (or maybe too much alcohol in my guts. Or not enough guts at all. Or maybe my gut is too big.)

I've no idea really on where to find the one. Perhaps she'll present herself to me in good time. Until then, there's plenty in life to keep me occupied.
What's most important I think, is that people be the best at being who they are instead of what you think you should be or what someone else's idea of you is. Get this part right, I think wherever you are becomes the best place to find love.

Be the flame, not the moth.

Posted by: Jair at May 17, 2007 2:22 PM

I figure men must be in short supply in Brisbane because the ones that are around act so badly and expect to get away with it. One guy I met for coffee hadn't even bothered showering (phew), one I met for a date turned up drunk then took me to a strip club, and then there was the guy that got nasty when he found out I had a degree commenting that he didn't need a degree to prove HE was smart. Ye gads - he wanted me to apologise for being educated!

And the lies they tell on their profiles!

However, although I didn't find a partner, I did collect some really funny stories so all wasn't lost 8-).

Guys - if you are in Brisbane and in your 40s and still single, then you have either been hiding out in your garage or you deserve to be single!

Posted by: Eliza at May 17, 2007 10:13 AM

I agree with some of what you said, Charles, but not all of it. I'm 27, living somewhere in the Yarra Ranges. I get out, go places, but I think my biggest problem is I'm shy, and I want to avoid getting hurt down the road. I need to know it's a sure thing. I consider myself a nice guy, honest, loyal, decent - but I often think I've left it too late, that no one is looking for someone my age.

Perhaps I did waste a lot of my early years, but I can usually tell a good woman from a quick conversation. Trouble is, most times I am interested in a girl, they are already spoken for. It has little to do with location. It's personality faults that dig my grave for me.

Posted by: UltimaWizard at May 16, 2007 8:01 PM

Charles, I agree completely with. It is the same up here at Brisbane as I said in one of my earlier posts. I probably will get flamed from this as well.

I still think we all have high expectations, guys and girls. So until that changes I think the draughts will continue.

And I am honest in my profile.......

Posted by: Cyclerider at May 16, 2007 7:36 PM

Gotta laugh at all of the men stating that women have a shopping list - notably including tall, dark and handsome. Ask yourself guys - how many of you have listed "a bit overweight" as ok in your ideal female partner profile? Nine out of ten profiles of men in the Melbourne area state they want partner to be slim or athletic. I am a 'bit overweight'. but I'm also active and fit and wear clothing to suit my sz 16 hourglass figure. But if I tick the box that says I'm a bit overweight' I get absolutely NO replies. And what gets me really ticked is the guys who want a slim gal are usually a bit porky themselves.

Posted by: Justine at May 16, 2007 6:19 PM

Just a passing observation.. during my time on RSVP i have noticed a trend in shorter men and that is that they are often the ones with the great looks.

Harminy you say interest in what they do for a living or social status is picky, but yet you are only happy with employed men?
Being employed is a social status too you know...

JS, tell me why people with stingent requirements
don't deserve someone?
If you know yourself then you can know what you want in a partner and that is a good thing. Sometimes people with the stringent requirements might miss out on love companionship and sex, but are happier waiting for the right person.
A lot of the 'stringent requirements" are based in our sexual desires. Height is very much in this category for lots of women.(and I am not just saying tall) Yes, people can have sex with a person they don't love or feel great sexual attraction towards.,,,but, try to imagine a lifetime of that and you will understand why people are 'picky' It can be endured, but does not lead to happiness.

I say again that decisions about looks and what is beautiful or handsome is individual to each person.

Posted by: patience at May 16, 2007 6:15 PM

not the gold coast all the woman are attractive, but they are all party girls, who wants a girl that just wants to drink and dance all weekend, great when your 20 but aren't you supposed to grow out of it and who on earth wants a girl whos had 50 one night stands cause thats all there seems to be where are the ladies not the go go girls...keep paris locked up forever

Posted by: aj at May 16, 2007 2:33 PM

There is a over supply of young men between 18-35 in country areas of nsw. Where i live (Walcha)all the ladies are girls are married or left. Guess that is the problem with me going to boarding school for 6 years and been nice and honest. OH Well that is life

Posted by: Mathew at May 16, 2007 2:18 PM

There is a male drought? This is news to me.

I am a 24yo male in Sydney, I have a white collar job, I am financially well off, and while I am no Brad Pitt in the looks department I do get told every once in a while by females that I am attractive. So why am I still single?

Maybe if women weren't so stuck up and looked at what was right underneath their noses, they wouldn't be saying that there is a drought.

I know that guys can be superficial too, but not to the same extent as women. Most guys I know will not wrinkle their noses and make rude comments towards women to let them know that they are not interested, whereas vice versa it is a different story.

Treat people with respect and don't dismiss them so quickly, and maybe you may have better luck.

Posted by: Charles at May 15, 2007 10:14 PM

It would seem there is a shortage of decent, honest men all around. I thought becoming an RSVP member would increase my chances, how mistaken I am...
Anytime I have been kissed, I always reply and continue to find out about the person. It really annoys me when superficial men don't bother to reply to the kiss or pass it off without delving further. How can anyone get to know another by just a few written words?

And those that stipulate stringent guidelines without wavering don't deserve any decent woman.
Beauty is only skin deep, it's the heart, mind and soul that makes up everyone of us. In order to find someone compatable, we need to take a long, hard look at ourselves and be willing to break down the barriers. You never know, your soulmate may turn out to be someone totally different than your expections...

Posted by: JS at May 15, 2007 6:25 PM

If height has become a factor in looking for the right partner, just remember one thing, short things- come in cute packages!! Just finding someone single in their 30's, in a small country area is hard, so as long as they are taller than 5'5, employed, good looking and a great personality, than I am happy. Is our social status, what we do as a living, and height becoming an issue?? Are we really becoming that picky??

Posted by: Harminy at May 15, 2007 4:18 PM

I have just read all the past comments about the shortage of men/women. I feel there is no shortage at all. The only thing is thatwe are pickie...and why not ? This may be our furure about which we are concerned. There are a lot of men that sound gorgeous, but being over 65 is a big disadvantage. I am looking for a decent, intelligent guy who is fun to be with & who likes to do a few things that will make our future better than on ones own. I am not into quarrelling etc, as I am a bit of a pacificist. If a man sends me a kiss, I expect HIM to do the email. I always reply. It is hard to go out to pubs etc when socialising. I have danced for many years, but I don't expect everyone to do the same.
Come on guys, contact us normal girls/ladies. Long distance affairs are possible after getting to know you.

Posted by: Gillie Jones at May 15, 2007 1:22 PM

"... but as they say "the odds are good but the goods are odd!"" * Posted by: Katie Baxter

Haha! That one made me grin. :-)

Posted by: Reece at May 15, 2007 10:28 AM

There don't seem to be many ladies in Brisbane who are seeking seeking a guy under 5'11". Even many of the profiles I've seen here belonging to girls who are around 5'2" are looking for someone far taller than me.

There's no man drought in Brisbane. Want to know where the nice guys have all gone? Well, those 5'11" and over often aren't single. The rest are too short, or too "average" to meet your criteria.

It seems to me to be an Aussie thing. I don't have any problem when I travel abroad. Unfortunately, I'm not looking for a long distance relationship or quick fling while travelling, so either way I'm rather short on luck. (pun intended)

Posted by: Reece at May 15, 2007 10:19 AM

I would like to say in response to those of you who say there are many men up here in the North. It may be true... but as they say "the odds are good but the goods are odd!"

Posted by: Katie Baxter at May 13, 2007 8:43 PM

Cyclerider- in the end, we all get what we deserve

I am amazed really that there are any dates or matches at all on RSVP. There is so much of a War of the Sexes going on!
In addition there is such a lot of cat and mouse game playing and outright lying happening I am beginning to doubt most profiles.
In answer to Cyclerider and others the question of why a person would want you goes for both sexes.
I truly believe that if you set out to deceive in anyway including misrepresenting yourself as a person and what your true values or intentions are, then eventually you will pay a price and you won't be very happy in life.

Posted by: patience at May 12, 2007 9:46 PM

there appears to be a shortage of men that are willing tio commit to a relationship. many women i know in the 30-50 age group remain single as it seems that ment only want women that look like models. we cant all be airbrushed.

Posted by: lonely1 at May 12, 2007 9:21 PM

Well, if I really knew the answer to that I would have probably gone there and wouldn't be writing this.

There is a drought, I totally agree not only because there are men who either:
a. don't want to get into a serious relationship and are still getting a clue of what they want to be when they grow up OR

b. are gay and outnumber the straight male population OR

c. they are far away and they don't seem to be bothered.

A bit of compromise and effort could be handy to try to find someone suitable.

Posted by: Cheerfulkitten at May 12, 2007 9:21 PM

Why is it that men always think that the female perspective of the "ideal" partner is too high?? I beg to differ, when there are men out there who are not happy unless you are blonde and skinny. Not all us single women out there are a perfect size 8/10, but are somewhere between a 12-14? I myself would like to be happy with someone, who does have a personality, good sense of humour, and likes to spend quality time with a girl rather than his mates, and in someway - good looking. Oh and guys, when it comes to looks department, some girls like their tall dark and handsome, others like blonde hair, blue eyes etc etc. What one woman find find cute and handsome, another one won't. We all have different tastes.

Posted by: Harminy at May 12, 2007 9:15 PM

I think everyone is just trying to find there dream partner and won't have settle for anything else.

As for all those ladies wanting, fit, handsome, successful, wealth, caring and etc.....

Why do you think he wants to be with you? You might of missed the right guy for you, but have passed him off because he didn't fit your shopping list of an ideal partner. And in today's climate things are more equal then ever. So roles can chage I know a few house husbands and those relationships are very happy.

Posted by: Cyclerider at May 12, 2007 6:37 PM

Sensual4us two things...there is no standard "tall dark and handsome" or "slim blonde blue eyed" for that matter...everyone's perception of how those features translate to handsome or pretty is different. Yes, there are idealised persons in the media but reality is that not everyone thinks Brad Pitt is the epitome of tall dark and handsome or Cameron Diaz is pretty.
I can guarantee that you will be someones love god eventually...it is a matter of time and persistence to find that person.
As to the height thing.... well I am 5'6" and anything less than a 5'11" male is too short because I wear high heels AND tease my hair up a bit and end up almost equal height. I am not a small boned woman either.(not even when I was a size 8) ....Apart from that, no matter how liberated I am and independent there still remains within me(and many women I think) the need to have a 'big strong man in the cave to protect me" So I look for tall and large men to meet that need and to balance my body type...a perfect match!
But don't worry, there will still be women shorter than you who will think you are the perfect height and weight. Lots of women find shorter men irresistible and just as protective..many idols in film tv and music now and in the past have been not so tall...they have had plenty of women chasing them.

It is all a matter of finding the person to click with....it will happen.
Finally ...don't make an issue of your height ...those sort of chip on the shoulder things are the turn offs...not the height. I often see men pointing their height out in their profiles and making either a derogatory or whining comment about themselves with it....if you don't like or accept yourself you will stop potential partners liking you too.

Posted by: patience at May 12, 2007 1:55 PM

Oh yes there certainly is a man-drought in Bundaberg. My single friends agree. I don't want marriage but would love to date someone. Most men in Bundy are only after a one nighter. I never realised other areas were just as bad.
I've had no success through RSVP either (been on the last few months). Have only met 1 guy which went no further. I wouldn't move looking for 'Mr Male' no guys not Mr Right, just an average guy. However, I would move if I met someone.
I agree with Patience. A general friendship blog would be fun. Hotredflame

Posted by: HotRedFlame at May 11, 2007 10:01 PM

To all those who say there is a 'man drought' or a 'women' drought, the fact is the number of men and women in Australia is approximately equal. 9.3m males and 9.5m females in the 2001 census.

Men slightly outnumber women up to age 40.

The only age group with a significant difference is over 70 where women outnumber men because they live longer.

The problem is meeting people, not that they don't exist.

Posted by: Bob51 at May 11, 2007 9:57 PM

Check the comments in the profiles, a good percentage of ladies are looking for tall dark and handsome, I have researched many on rsvp and 85% of my research shows women looking for 5'9" + , I cant figure why a 5' lady has a thing for finding a 6' guy? Baffles me, which leaves little choices for us short guys, all including the males have too high an expectation.

Posted by: Sensual4us at May 11, 2007 8:58 AM

I think we're all picky when searching online. I know when I search I include my desirables (eg not less than a half foot shorter than me). And when we meet partners other than online we are more broad minded. I think Perth is alright for meeting girls, positive attitude goes a long way as making the most of chance meetings.

Posted by: Dan at May 10, 2007 9:59 PM

I would not move for love - simply because of my children and their established lives. I think Sydney city is the best place to find love or at least meet interesting ppl and make new friends. I think that sometimes ppl have to many high expectations and demands which leads them to being disillusioned.

Posted by: saphirexxx at May 10, 2007 9:54 PM

I am widowed and over 60. A friend and I decided one night to 'do the town'.
We are nice looking and were well dressed and we just kept walking between one venue and another most of the night. All of the places seemed to be full of teenie boppers who jumped up and down to over loud muzak. We ended up buying a couple of coldies and walked back to my place. We downed them bemoaning and laughing about the lack of places for oldies in Toowoomba. If you want chickie babes it is the place. If you want a place to meet older people, maybe next time we should go to the local RSL....aaaagggghhh.
Robynthehood.

Posted by: Robynthehood at May 10, 2007 8:26 PM

I agree Shnugglie, the Canberra women are just far too picky, I'm a so called 'white collar' worker, and on what I call a pretty reasonable wage, and yet it's still not good enough?

They all say they're after a nice, normal guy, and that's me, but no matter what, they all want more...

Posted by: Princecharming1980 at May 10, 2007 8:09 PM

I live in Hobart and I have found that it is very hard to find a man here, I am slim, blond, educated, financially secure, no kids etc but all the best men I have dated have been from interstate. I also have found that men are scared off women that seem too good for them. I have been told often that I am too good for them. Its a no win situation......

Posted by: lifeisforloving at May 10, 2007 7:33 PM

There is a male drought happening here in the Riverland (SA). Come on, where are all the single guys in their 30's? And for the Guys in Adelaide, there is life outside the city, and there are some decents single women in the country, you just have to look!!

Posted by: Harminy at May 10, 2007 6:46 PM

Im a tradesman in Canberra which can hurt. Everyone seems to be a white coller worker (I was a white coller once. I don't see the big deal).

Canberra people dont seem to give me a chance which is a pity. I have had a few relationships here that went very, very well. I did'nt fight with my last partner at all (2.5years).

Love takes trust, communication and equal values. Not a big car, house and money. They are nice things, but 'things' non the less.

Good luck to everyone.

Posted by: Shnugglie at May 10, 2007 5:35 PM

with 15 million people - one would have thought its easy to find someone...but guess im wrong!

Posted by: Matt at May 10, 2007 5:27 PM

no shortage of men in sydney.hard when newly single to put your self out there being a nurse doing shiftwork dosnt help cause .good luck every one ,

Posted by: barb at May 10, 2007 3:16 PM

also, in answer to the question... I moved from Perth in WA to Tasmania, for a love interest, MYSELF. I couldn't live in Perth for the heat, and no, not even the chance of meeting a fellow there is going to lure me back. Hobart may be lacking in people {as was commented earlier} but it's a great place to live.

Posted by: MadameSansAmant at May 9, 2007 10:54 PM

I resent an earlier comment that Hobart has no quality men or women. I'm one of those women who as a single, overweight {but working on it} aged mother is shunned when kisses are sent.
I guess I gave up on dating sites like this when I came to the realisation that the man I'm after, is going to be out living his life, rather than sitting in front of the keyboard perving and drooling for some blonde Barbie.

As an add note, Fairsx... I agree with you, asking for Fiscally secure men is not an absurd request. I may not earn much, but I want a man who can match my income or better so that we are dating on a level playing field.

My last 'relationship' {and I use that term loosely} left me now in therapy and that therapy is aiding me more in what I DO want and what boundaries and guidelines I'm going to set for my future happiness.

Posted by: MadameSansAmant at May 9, 2007 10:51 PM

I don't think there is a draught. I just think everyone has gotton way to picky. As from what I have seen for some of the shopping lists that some ladies have can't be realistic, same with some guy's. Get real in our 30's onwards most of us have baggage it makes us what we are. And it is very hard to find anyone to really fit our lists, they should just be used a guide line and nothing else.

In Brisbane though the women here have a repution (I know that I spelt that wrong) for being pardon the term up them selves. I am I know I am sick of being judged before I say a word. And being told to just walk away. Women all ways say they want the nice guy. But from what I have seen they don't. Because nice guy's aren't exciting enough for them, but oh I have been told in the end they do, believe it when I see it.

I admit I have been burned before which makes as some people have said put a shield around myself and have been trying to bring it down. But from what I have experinced from when I have met women fom RSVP they expect instant Chemistry. I don't think it works like that. Chemistry takes time. And friendship is the key to a good relationship. The other part makes it to.

And the funnist part of it all my Married friends (Female & Male) say that I am lucky go figure.

These are my two cents worth any way. I'm off to bed

Posted by: Cyclerider at May 9, 2007 8:59 PM

Talk about a women drought in Darwin. 900 odd registered males compared to 520 odd registered females. This is a trend I have found common on every site like this for Darwin *sigh* Common ladies, come to Darwin!

Posted by: Shigui at May 8, 2007 4:38 PM

hi there,can some nice woman consider relocating,to boyne island in QLD.nice town,ill be yer man....pleaseeeeeeeee

Posted by: boyneislanddude at May 7, 2007 9:01 PM

sagerl
I don't think I'll ever consider dating across long distance, let alone to the mining town as I've always been a city girl so I'm staying where I am. Also I'm looking for love and chemistry with someone special; not a big pay packet.
I agree with laroux.
To me, "it's not what you got; but what you present."

Posted by: traveller at May 7, 2007 7:43 PM

To those men who think us women want a man who has a high profile job,house,nice car etc PLEASE!! think again. We are NOT all like that. I have found most men (Brisbane region in the 40 ish age)seem to want a younger woman,blonde Slim/athletic..Get real!! Give us a go!You may be surprised. Life is to short.

Posted by: laroux at May 7, 2007 6:03 PM

I agree there is a man drought in Brisbane - at least in RSVP. Have thought of giving up but with my lifestyle (working full time and committed to keeping my body/mind fit in spare time) I "dont get out much". I'm not being fussy, just want to meet someone who respects my lifestyle as much as I will respect theirs and hope we can adjust and share time doing things together. I'm 50's and understandably looking for someone capable of supporting themselves, but also want someone who hasnt given up on their body and doesnt walk around with a closed mind or carrying baggage that they cant see past. And if I dont want to come over to your place to watch footy on our first date or sleep with you is that being fussy?
I'd really like to hear comments from some Brissy guys!

Posted by: WontGiveUp at May 7, 2007 6:34 AM

Hey there!!!
To all those girls saying that Brissy has a man drought, I couldn't agree with you more!!!!!
As for those guys that say girls are picky, you guys are the same.

Posted by: Maria at May 6, 2007 10:37 PM

Iam mid 40's male in Townsville and when I go out at night its about (3) males to (1) female ... My guess is cos there is alot of fly in fly out work to the mines from here plus the large armed forces presence ...

Also I notice most women wont even talk to me if they live in another city ..

Posted by: tsvquo at May 6, 2007 7:20 PM

Definitely not a man drought here in far south west qld, but a case of quantity over quality. I dont want to date a stinky roo shooter, miner who drinks his whole pay packet, or someone old enough to be grandpa. Definite drought of educated, polite, sensible men out here!

Posted by: displaceddiva at May 5, 2007 5:01 PM

Hi all. Wow, I was under the impression that my little town of Ulladulla was the only place that seemed to be having a man drought. But having read messages here I realise that this may not be true. Maybe we have to broaden our horizens to find love?

Posted by: ThisTimeIts4Real at May 4, 2007 2:06 PM

Wow, since posting my bit on here a couple of days ago I have come back and read some of the comments.
To the guynextdoorinbris and geoff, there are some females out here who are honest, but it seems to me that "most" men are looking for their "perfect" female. Sorry guys but Sarah is right, if you are not blonde and a "stick insect", we have no hope of finding someone we would like think of as our perfect partner. Sarah, I am a lot older than you, but even in my age bracket, men are choosy. I definitely think there is a drought here in Brisbane and it's not only the weather.

Posted by: Jo12152 at May 3, 2007 11:10 PM

That's true, there does seem to be a shortage in Wollongong :). But when you go to the trouble of setting up a date with someone from Sydney & they don't bother to turn up, then you wonder why you even bother at all...

Posted by: YS72 at May 3, 2007 9:47 PM

I am over my mid 50s and I'm having no problems with any man drought. Sydney at least, is large enough to have the full quota anyway.

I do have a problem though with men who don't understand why a woman would ask for "Financially Secure".

I have absolutely had my share of men who pretend to be financially secure (and very well too I will add)!! but, who are obviously really barely living week to week. Sure, that is their choice but I have worked hard and what I have, I have earnt, and I don't choose to be with a man with peanuts and a colourful array of excuses which inevitibly lead to bitterness, theirs not mine. Put simply, besides practicalities of an equal footing, I need to respect a man and I cannot respect a man who is unable to keep his finances in at least reasonable order. Very cute when a man is 20 but loses it's charm when a man nears 60. So there you have one woman's reasoning.

I would also never expect a man to join a dancing class or to be a trained seal either, just as I wouldn't do something out of character which makes me uncomfortable.

Being choosy by the way is not a crime for anyone in my books, but then better to state more in your profile than less.

In short, I am who I say I say I am and simply ask the same. A level playing field please, and I am generally very happy with the results and I will continue to be choosy, thankyou very much.

I will compromise no problem, that's what everything is about, but not go down, No way.

Posted by: Fairsx at May 3, 2007 7:39 PM

I live in Wollongong NSW, and am 19, most of the time its a drought in the dating department unless ur blonde.....i'm a brunette and having as much of luck as a break in teh drought in the bf department. I dont want to be single......

Posted by: Sarah at May 3, 2007 1:48 PM

I agree with Sydney posted May 2 i have had the same i meet a lady who had a very nice pic on her profile with the words i am quite honest and caring when i meet the lady she had extra kgs all over during dinner she was rude to the waiter and very loud and the pic was of one of her friends so i could not understand were quite honest and caring come from and some of the words that came out of her mouth dident sound nice eather Sydney i am no ken eather but what you see is what you get if people cant be honest on there profile dont put it on there becouse you will get cought out be honest

Posted by: Geoff at May 3, 2007 9:02 AM

I have found on RSVP that I have sent kisses been asked for email back which I have sent one and never to be heard from again. A couple of guys i meet how old were there photos yes may sound like a B&)(&$ but hey when you weight about 20-30kgs more than your picture be honest did you think i wouldn't notice. I have been overseas for a few years and always talked how aussie guys were better etc etc I have yet to be proved right. I am not saying I barbie but at least I am honest

Posted by: sydney at May 2, 2007 3:34 PM

wow, I'm in Brisbane and theres a man drought here? I work a professional job (tho sometimes I envy the blue collar workers), financially sound, and yet I find girl after girl who seems to want superman, ghandi, and Brad Pitt all rolled into one. I want to think I'm perfect, or at least find a girl who thinks I am.

now, where are those dance classes?
(Brad Pitt may not be the flavour of the month any more, who is the current hot guy?)

Posted by: guynextdoorinbris at May 1, 2007 9:49 PM

Fred
In your reply to Ereena. I agree with what you say about guys going to dance classes, but what does a single female have to do to find a guy who likes a woman who does enjoy most sports and will go with them to spectate! Oh, and the other thing - why don't guys like putting their photo on this site? There certainly seems to be a drought where I live.

Posted by: Jo12152 at May 1, 2007 9:40 PM

Do you know what i hate, is when you kiss a member but the don't have the decency to reply back. either way!

Posted by: ivytheguy at May 1, 2007 12:04 PM

Just a quick comment to "Ereena at April 28". and a whole lot of you girls in general. re: the "Dance Classes" thing. Wake up and smell the coffee, most guys are about as interested in that as most of you would be in going to motorsport or a cricket match.
"we" just don't like it. If you do find a guy who is keen to go to dance classes, there is a decent chance you won't land him, he's probably got a boyfriend of his own.
Ok this is probably a sweeping generalisation, but I know that it is true in a whole lot of cases.

Posted by: fred at April 30, 2007 10:12 PM

Lets Chat.......RSVP had a chat club, a chat room, once upon a time....Cost you a stamp though to enter but you could chat to many for that stamp, unlike their current offer. Not sure why it closed, but I do remember attending plenty of functions all over Oz organised by the room members.
Organised by the room !!, hmmm maybe thats why it closed down. Then again was a pretty colourful place, maybe the people who took it too seriously complained loud enough.

Posted by: blank at April 30, 2007 8:44 PM

Re: travellers post at April 27, 2007 11:27 AM
>Why don't you girls go out
>to mining towns? there's
>thousands of single men
>there on big pay packets,
>all buffed up from swingin a
>pick all day?

I've just got out of a relationship like that. Long distance relationships are really hard. On top of that, people who work in the mines eg HR personel to engineers to fitters and turners are all on big pay packets. The resource industry is ramping up to an even bigger boom. This means most of them are probably not looking to move from their mining towns for quite a long time.

I love the country life, and would like to move back into it one day, but a mining town isolated from everywhere in the middle of the desert is not my idea of country living... :|

Just think of that girls and guys before you go dating across (really remote) long distance....

Posted by: sagerl at April 28, 2007 9:41 PM

May be a chat club in RSVP where people could chat or go one on one could give people a better fell about people not just a profile

[Ed: We already have a chat feature, but it does cost a stamp to open a chat with someone new....]

Posted by: Lets Chat at April 28, 2007 7:05 PM

Hi everybody! I don't think - there is a drought anywhere. I think we are like kids in the Candy store - don't know what to choose. I have been on a different sites( and this one) since November last year and talked to approx.50 guys - age between 29 to 50.But met only 5 and went out only with 3. And still single!Others just"wanted to be friends". I wanted to start going to dance classes with some of them - to have a common ground - to start something exciting...Everybody's excuse -"i have 2 left feet" ...Ask yourselves everybody - are you really ready to have a relationship? And make sure you are clear what do you want - but be REAL.And open your heart - to be able to give and recieve. Good luck to everyone and don't spend all of your life in the candy store - it is a life there happening!!!

Posted by: Ereena at April 28, 2007 4:07 PM

Congratulations to all who have contributed to this blog.
Its really hit a nerve!

My 2 bobs worth:
-small towns=small minds
-tyranny of distance
-hang in there and send more kisses and emails. You just never know your luck.

Posted by: PtolemySoter at April 28, 2007 11:50 AM

I find it really bizzare that so many people on here are complaining that people don't want to meet them because of age/height/chidren etc and complaining of members "shopping list". The point of this site is to place an add stating clearly what you want so there is no misunderstanding. I am certainly not going to look at a guy who has children because I am not into children and they won't fit into the lifestyle I want. I think it is better to be clear about these things up front. People who have a clear shopping list know what they want.

Posted by: Legendary Legs at April 28, 2007 9:01 AM

I'm living in the jungle being Jungle-Jim (Tarzan) searching for my Jane. I've read all of the comments so far and finding MY Jane IS elusive.

I have all the attributes any woman says she wants, ... but women really seem to want a caveman type - gruff, rough, almost "beat-em-up" mysoginist type on the OUTSIDE, but a real soft Mills & Boone gentlemen, who, "makes me laugh" and "gives me flowers just for no hidden reason at all" - on the INSIDE.

Hey, I'm not a Tarzan but the authentic Gentleman-Jim, BOTH on the outside and the inside, but I'm still looking for Jane, and Jane is still looking for Tarzan - it's a riddle!

Posted by: Jungle Jim at April 27, 2007 11:33 PM

Why don't you girls go out to mining towns? there's thousands of single men there on big pay packets, all buffed up from swingin a pick all day?

Posted by: VSOP at April 27, 2007 8:28 PM

Since this blog started, I've been getting a lot of RSVP kisses and e-mails all over Australia so there may be woman drought everywhere too. Or most people are just being so picky these days.

Posted by: traveller at April 27, 2007 11:27 AM

Love is not over yonder, or elsewhere.

Love is wherever we go, and wherever we are. In our hearts. Waiting for us to release it. Unconditionally!

Posted by: Satyr37 at April 27, 2007 12:19 AM

I don't think anywhere is bad to find love ... it's just a matter of being in the right place at the right time, and who knows where that may be. I think both single men and women have the same problem working out where to find the other.

It's certainly not in any pub or club.

However, Darwin is a brilliant city to have fun in. But so is Sydney if you know what you're doing!

Posted by: Manda at April 26, 2007 4:01 PM

This comment is for Carrie who posted on April 23, 2007 4:21 PM.

Be patient you say Carrie. I've been patient for 31 years now. I was a bit of a slow bloomer but for good reasons. I didn't have what girls wanted. And it seems I still don't. I'm 31 and have what girls want but, maybe my looks are holding me back. I've never had a girlfriend. Not for the lack of trying just never had one. I'm not scared of being single, I enjoy it in fact. The freedom I have is amazing! The money I have is amazing, the things I've achieved is amazing. But my situation is different.

Because I haven't had a girlfriend, I'm naturally looking for someone a few years younger, NO kids to another man, is quite happy doing the boyfriend / girlfriend thing, doesn't want to sue you if you break-up, want to go through that good looking/pretty girl stage before you get to the gems. I feel I've lost something if I don't do that. It would be the same for girls. You want that good looking guy experience only to find out that the average guys are actually better.

Posted by: Jason at April 26, 2007 11:23 AM

I've heard many complains about there being NO man in Brizzy. From "we're out for one thing only", "not educated enough", to being picky. Girls it works both ways. To me for example. Am I after that one thing? Well yes and no. You see I am looking for that but its not my soul purpose. I would just like to meet someone. Nothing serious. But that's the problem you see. Girls are after prince charming. The guy that has it all, success, money, the body, the looks, the personality, charming, funny, looks after girls very beck and call.

Maybe I went a little far with that last one. I have personally contacted (kisses and emails) hundreds of girls in the Brisbane and beyond areas to have a chat or maybe meet up. But nothing!! They all want the perfect man. Girls he doesn't exist, just like the perfect girl doesn't exist for us guys.

I don't know why girls don't want to meet up. Its as if they think us guys will talk them into sleeping with us then dare we ask for a second date. It's not marriage. You must take that chance before you really know what's what.

For me, I'm financially secure, run and Internet business, have investments, plan for the future, I'm not in debt, I'm a nice average looking guy, fun to be with, enjoy adventurous things. But still that's not enough.

I give up! What do you girls want.

Posted by: Jason at April 26, 2007 10:57 AM

TheOracleInPerth is delighted to see how the tone and content of this blog has improved over the last couple of days (with a few exceptions).

To Patience - I think your wish for the general blog may be self fulfilling. That this blog was initiated to discuss the man drought is something of RSVPs making. Where we take it is beyond their control - unless the moderator involves him/herself.

To GVSM - keep up the good work. I agree with you that Perth is a hard act to break into. I haven't been here long (3 years) and find it parochial in the extreme. Circumstances beyond my control put me where I am now - perhaps we might bump into one another, but I doubt it. I'm usually at work or shopping at the supermarket, hanging out the washing, etc. Wouldn't it be nice to do the yacht club?

And Fred - your analogy 'we all want to drink chilled, filtered, bottled water' I found quite apt. It cuts both ways doesn't it? No matter how much we might try to be PC in our tastes they are after all our own. Have we been conditioned, subliminally or otherwise, to aspire to the slim and tres sportif? Of course! Can we think for ourselves? Sometimes. Do we act on these? Less often. There is scientific research that suggests men are more attracted to the slightly more generously curvaceous. This was aired on an ABC sciece programme recently. Researchers speculated a connection with potential for fertility dating back to a time when such things were important for the survival of the species. Obviously we have moved beyond that but the underlying programming (not TV) is still there. So skinny ones - you are statistically not the most desirable to all men but more to the publishers of the thousands of womens magazines whose bread and butter is earned making women feel inaduate because they weigh more than 60kg (50kg?) and don't wear Gucci because it isn't available in size 14.

Lastly - where were the thousands of women objectors when Pearce Brosnan lost out to the current stand in for James Bond? Like I said earlier - it cuts both ways.

Posted by: mike at April 26, 2007 10:51 AM

Fred, there is a difference between lowering ones standards and trying something different.
Seeing ribs and collar bones is bordering on the unhealthy...a lot of damage is done to women and girls by subjecting them to pressure to maintain this look. However, I would not be outraged that you rejected a woman on any grounds....your ideas of what is attractive or not are deeply imbedded in your subconcious as well as your consciousness, and have been shaped by your lifetime experiences in all sorts of ways and are unique to you, as mine are to me.
Yes, it is quite possible for people to find someone by trying to tell themselves that their preferences don't matter (or other people telling them they are too fussy) ...but if you only form a relationship to meet society's expectations of you or for sex or desperation or to have children, then eventually you will be quite unhappy. The spark has to be there.

GVSM you are right about the exclusion of divorced women. I had one long term friend tell me that her husband did not want her associating with me anymore because I was Divorced(and in his mind therefore a bad woman and influence) The fact that I had no say in the matter of the Divorce was irrelevant according to the husband!!!The fact that this is 2007 and a husband is still telling his wife what to do is another story....but it happened.

RSVP I would love to see a general blog for people to talk about anything.
I would also love to see some sort of friends page. There are a lot of divorced people looking to make new friends of the same sex as they start their new lives. It would be too creepy to try to contact anyone via the normal pages(even though there is already category for looking for friends) As the current profiles are for dating it may appear as though one is looking for a gay relationship to try that sort of contact, and it is unknown if the other person might also be interested in networking.

Posted by: patience at April 25, 2007 9:50 PM

Perth is hard..the comment that friends are made for life not so sure about that..I find that when marriages break up u become the single woman and the females of the couples do not want u around...guys get invited!!! it is harder as a female to rock up to pubs /clubs etc...am trying to forge my way through a yatch club at the moment not easy mainly couples...blogging is a good way to actually 'c' how the real person thinks/writes..so blog to me or contact...cheers

Posted by: GVSM at April 25, 2007 2:36 PM

pattyanne, you believe the CIA? They also say they know nothing about the aliens and they definitely are not on RSVP ...but with all the references to Venus and Mars, I for one am suspicious.....
I haven't checked with the Dept of Statistics but recent news publications state that for the first time in Australian History there are more women than men of marriagable age.,,hence the "man drought" phenomena.There are lots of reasons for this ..won't bore you... a change for early Colonial days when poor single women were forced to agree to be shipped to the Colony from England and Ireland as prospective wives/floozies for the early settlers soldiers/sailors and early public service boffins....
Is there anywhere left in the world where we could find some men willing to be shipped over to even the score???
In my opinion it is nothing to do with either sex being too fussy..the fact is that it is not easy to find someone compatible, living in the same area, reasonable age group, to whom you attracted AND importantly who is attracted to you in return.
Once you add in other factors such as kids animals religion politics employment fatness issues(see photo profile thread) AND of course whether they can SPAL the chances of clicking are limited.

Posted by: patience at April 25, 2007 2:20 PM

It's funny, isn't it? I haven't actually done the maths, but it looks like about 3/4 of the posts here are from people (both male and female) complaining of the drought in their area.

There can't possibly be no men and no women anywhere! If this is the case, who are all those people I see walking around out on the street?

I think we are all guilty of being too picky to some extent. Myself included. Unfortunately this is just human nature. We all have our preferences and don't like compromising on them. However some people are willing to take a chance and lower our standards (don't mean that to sound rude, but I guess it does) to get past the initial judging the book by the cover stage and see if there is something inside.

Sometimes it works, but often it doesn't.
On a side note, I think people need to be more honest in their profiles. It will not help you find anyone for a long term relationship if you start off on a dishonest footing.

I can only give you a personal example but I';m sure we guys are just as often guilty too. The last woman who I met claimed to be slim, her single photo was a close-up head and (barely) shoulders 3/4 profile shot where you couldn't tell otherwise. Pretty face, blond hair, blue eyes. Email and phone contact went as well as can be expected with the usual initial shy/coy exchanges gradually loosening up. All very well.

BUT, and it's a big but (or should I say butt), when we met I just about walked straight past her (in hindsight, I should have). The only way you could have applied the adjective slim to her would be in a sentence like There's a SLIM chance she would fit into anything as small as a size 14.

I do not have anything against larger ladies or whatever the PC term is (gravitationally challenged, perhaps?). But my initial thought was that this woman is either a liar or delusional.

For the record, I didn't keep walking, we did coffee and then dated a few times but it didn't work out.

My point is that although I prefer slim girls, (I like to be able to see ribs and collar bones and shoulder blades, ok? Which probably means RSVP needs to add Skinny as a body type) I was willing to broaden my search (sorry about the pun) and give someone else a fair go. So it didn't work in this case, but at least I tried.

For those of you women who are outraged by the fact that I would (normally) reject someone on their weight How many of you would reject me immediately, regardless of any other qualities, just because I have a beard? Quite a few I would bet, if you are willing to be honest.

I would sum it up like this: Yes there is a drought, but only because we all want to drink chilled, filtered, bottled water. There is plenty of water in the creeks, rivers and dams. But most of us won't even lower ourselves to drink plain old tap water.

So whose fault is that?

Posted by: Fred at April 25, 2007 1:38 PM

Jan April 24 I would like to have a one on one conversation with you on your points of view witch you pointed out in your notes you come up with some very strong statements and i am on your side with the positive out come you have keep talking like that i think you are a good inspiration to a lot of people you should take up speaking to motivate people good stuff

Posted by: Geoff at April 24, 2007 10:10 PM

All I want is an interesting lady to interact with and what I do or what I own really should have nothing to do with anybody. I will allways look after myself and want nothing but kindness and a smile from the ladies.

Posted by: activrwell at April 24, 2007 8:51 PM

Postscript from yesterday from Brisbane. Nope, he was just another guy looking for a onenight stand.unbelievable.well, onto no 1501...

Posted by: at April 24, 2007 8:05 PM

I am hearing a lot of very negative commentary from so many of you. it's not healthy for body or soul to be so bitter. perhaps some of you should reconsider your willingness to search for the "Perfect one" and have a deeper look at why you seem to be so unhappy, then when you can be more positive about the whole aspect of dating and just enjoy the opportunities of meeting new people and relish the experience for what it is you will be more likely to find someone special. or realise that dating can be fun on its own. Don't take everything so personally, be honest with yourselves and with others. you will attract far more people who will make you happy if you are already happy. admitting that love is missing from your life is not a bad thing, making it the be all and end all of every interaction you have is. Don't give up people there is no such thing as a man or woman drought. after all it only takes one person to fill the position.

Posted by: Jen at April 24, 2007 4:16 PM

Yes I have to agree with Geoff and Simon.There isn't a drought... just fussy women who probably need 3 men in one to satisfy all of their requirements.But then only want to see them in their moments of boredom anyway.

Posted by: ken at April 24, 2007 2:38 PM

The CIA fact book says that there is NOT a man drought in Australia. See:

www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/index.
html

It sounds like the men would like us to think that they are in scarce supply.
Maybe the DECENT ones are??

Posted by: pattyanne at April 24, 2007 2:04 PM

TheOracle in Perth says: Thanks for the insights Ivan. Sweeping comments no doubt derived from years studying at uni. This debate is a rambling meandering mess. Everyone is calling foul! I think that part of the problem with online dating (if you actually make to that part) is that the medium is so far removed from the good old days of walking up to someone you've never met (because you liked the cut of their jib) to find you had nothing in common. But hey, who cares, it was fun!

Nowadays - read all the bio data in the 'profile', check out the photo, check the online horrorscope (sic) etc what have we actually got? Possibly and probably nothing at all. So here we come to the impasse - how does the mature age (but young at heart) single with a job, kids and commitments meet same likeminded individual who is equally stressed out and protective of their situation?

Interesting social insights from Lee regarding the fallout from the capitalist dream. He/she argues that 'you can't have a home of your own, and an IKEA/subaru lifestyle, an education, peace in our time AND children and marriage and community' and suggests that we must 'lower our expectations'. Of what? I don't think that financial or material circumstances have any bearing whatsoever on successful online meeting. Online I could claim to be the Sultan of Brunei - doesn't mean I am and I'll be found out soon enough.

I do however, think that my other circumstances, which I'm sure are not uniquely mine, do influanece the outcomes. But now I'm rambling - God I must be a nerd or metrosexual. Must remember to kill myself in the morning.

Posted by: mike at April 24, 2007 2:30 AM

I think a lot of people are treading very lighty these days after been cheated on and hurt and dont wont to be hurt again i work in the mining inderstry and see this going on around me all the time people camp out for 10 days to go home and find out this has happen to them so there is a lot single males and females working in the mines and are very picky who thay go out with and are scard of been hurt again so you can understand were these people are comeing from when thay go on rsvp and send a kiss and dont even get a reply this dosent make fell real good

Posted by: Lost for words at April 24, 2007 12:56 AM

No girls are girls as women are women..just as men are men.

Posted by: daiquridaze at April 24, 2007 12:01 AM

Well I think its hard to find/meet new people in Canberra. Where do you meet people when all your friends are married/coupled off and they have no single friends either. Work is a no go for me.

Maybe I need to find a social group or club....any suggestions

Posted by: GirlWithHazelEyes at April 23, 2007 10:49 PM

I live on the Central Coast & there is certainly a drought of decent me!!! I'm 36yrs old never been married/no kids. Sure I'm fussy & why not. I'd rather wait for "Mr Right" & I know your out there looking for me!!!

Posted by: kl at April 23, 2007 10:19 PM

Perth has got to be the worst place.

This is a city where friendships are forged over many years and if you are new to the scene or suddenly single it is very difficult to get into a social scene. RSVP is in a way a last resort and even then you might have a one per cent chance of meeting someone you can connect with, let alone the 'soul mate' or near 'perfect match'.

They tell me Sydney's the place to go.

Posted by: heidifromwestoz at April 23, 2007 9:15 PM

I'm in Sydney but I do think Melbourne is better to be single at, I had no need for RSVP when i was there :)
Are girls picky? Bloody oath they are! But surely not us guys, oh no of course not! Like it or not ladies, the long term trend is gonna be that you're gonna be on the whole have a greater income than us. I work at a university and I see more and more girls compared to guys. You want a good muscle tone/bloke factor and a good income? The guys with the good incomes are nerds or metrosexuals :D For both men and women i think fantasy has never been further removed than reality.

Posted by: Ivan at April 23, 2007 6:46 PM

Well yes. I have to say that I do agree with Micko.The only one I do is smoke............... Lol

Posted by: Dave at April 23, 2007 6:18 PM

Bundaberg (yes, as in the rum) is full of single women and unemployed men. I am a very professional, busy and active, 30 year old (straight) woman and this town is most certainly a dating desert! I grew up here and recently moved back for family reasons, but my dating life has been sacrificed by the move.

Posted by: Treen7 at April 23, 2007 5:30 PM

Brisbane is where I hail from I have been on RSVP since August of last year. I have recieved over 1500 contacts since then . I am 45 and average in everything. I truly believe that men treat you as you treat them, and that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, no matter where you live. But men, be braver! Be bold ! Be confident!follow up if she seems to like you... i have had many good dates, and may have just met the right combination of everything I am looking for (just a normal nice looking trustworthy guy)... go for it people, but be patient. and be happy, Someone is perfect for you no matter where u live..

Posted by: at April 23, 2007 4:44 PM

News Flash!!! Mandurah WA experiencing the worst man drought in history of weather reporting. Results will be cranky women and less births. retail sales expected to soar due to increased interest in shopping.

Posted by: Carrie at April 23, 2007 4:21 PM

I think sydney is a great place to meet people but hard to find what i'm looking for. I think sydney needs ladies with more of an open mind. :-(

Posted by: dj matty at April 23, 2007 3:52 PM

I think Lee is right, were getting mismatched and redundant. I have quite a few close female friends who are single and really dont want that to change., They're successful, happy, and have the 'ideal' life. Only 1 out of about 8 wants to find a long term partner. To me thats pretty sad. On a positive note, all the best to those truely seeking!, I hope you find your match! Cheers!

Posted by: Ryan at April 23, 2007 2:01 PM

there is definately a woman drought here in cairns, and those that are left, are so picky, where are the decent woman up here??

Posted by: drew at April 23, 2007 1:22 PM

No female drought in the shepparton area-but the same old problem as the rest of Australia.Most Australian women continue to judge or seek men by what they have-not by what they are.In general,I find having a friendly conversation with females not too difficult but express an interest,beyond this,the mood changes to a negative one.I am in my 40's and the last time I had a relationship with an Australian woman was 25 years ago.Guys-better off working hard,saving hard and heading overseas.From my experience I seem to click well with women from SE Asia,Eastern Europe and Southern Europe.Don't despair and keep a positive attitude.

Posted by: peter at April 23, 2007 9:37 AM

The best place is Melbourne, VIC as far...:-)

Posted by: Shinzen at April 23, 2007 2:43 AM

I'm with Wei, and getting close to 55. I live in a reasonably-small country town and so am not keen to post my photo on the site, though I am happy to give a password to any contacts. If I get no contacts on RSVP, does this mean there is a drought were I live or that my words don't encourage any contact without a picture on view? As for the lists of things that some male members find objectionable, I'm sticking to mine. For example, I've worked full time for the last 30 years and, if I'm to be in another relationship, I want it to be with someone who is "financially secure" as I am. Why is that type of description being picky?

Posted by: Jennifer at April 22, 2007 11:47 PM

I am not sure whether it is the shortage of men in the 55-65 age group, or that this age group is looking for women who are significantly younger. It's not easy for a woman over 55 to generate any interest in RSVP!!!

Posted by: Wei at April 22, 2007 10:29 PM

Come on guys, there is a man drought in the growth corridor of the S.E. suburbs, Melbourne. We need more fellas in our dancing classes; (as Steve's blog posted yesterday points out), you can meet quality people by getting involved in social activities. Turn that computer off and get out.

Posted by: jill at April 22, 2007 10:28 PM

Hi if you are a singleMum i would still like to meet you look me up in Queensland just becouse you have had a child dosen't make you different you are still a lady

Posted by: Geoff at April 22, 2007 10:01 PM

This is complicated. There is a man shortage for women across all ages, and it feels to us like all the men have gone off to war and died. And yes, some men have 'gone over' - to be gay, or overseas jobs. But the women and men who are still here, in every age range, are just mismatched. Women are now educated, and financially independent - we have made men redundant. This is the cost of a massive social revolution that happened between 1965 and 2005. We can all complain - men and women. We have all bought a lifetime of singledom, collectively, even if we didn't agree to this individually, and find ourselves cheated by the collective arrangement. Oh, and there are more repartnering people added to the mix, than our parents had to contend with. More people out of relationships and back into the flow of 'single people'. That used to mean 'widows' - now it means about 2 million Australians. We've just got to all lower our expectations. You can't have a home of your own, and an IKEA/subaru lifestyle, and an education, and peace in our time AND children and marriage and community. I have a theory..that we're the fallout of the capitalist dream...

Posted by: Lee at April 22, 2007 8:47 PM

There's not a man drought - but there is one of men who don't want to bed you on the first night and then say thanks but no thanks.

Posted by: Christine at April 22, 2007 8:25 PM

Guys, reading the comments you've made about how picky women are, I could easily make the same comments about the guys on here. So many times I've contacted guys with whom I believed I had a lot in common (based on their profile), only to get either no reply or a thanks but no thanks. No desire to even get to know me. And guys, you're the pot calling the kettle black if you think it's only women who expect potential partners to be fit and look after themselves.
For me, I don't give a crap what you earn, and frankly I would actually prefer it if you didn't work out all the time. But it seems that sort of attitude isn't getting me anywhere on here.

Posted by: Felicia at April 22, 2007 7:51 PM

I agree with all the fussy men comments. I have been emailed by a few but as soon as they find out your not Richie Rich or God knows what, then your black listed. Biggest one for me is people getting in contact, then deciding that because i have a 7 1/2 y.o. daughter i'm some evil freak, thats when it all stops. 'Opps sorry miss read your profile'. I'm sorry but when your almost 30, your bound to have some sort of past..... There's definately no draught, just people who look skin deep and even if they like what they see will still find fault.

Posted by: Ryan at April 22, 2007 7:20 PM

Man drought!! no I just don't think many are into really getting to know a woman and wanting a real relationship, they just get back on RSVP when they are bored or not getting what they want....if you know what i mean, not any different to finding jerks at a night club.
Girls just take things really slow when you like someone