RSVP Blog

Blog now closed; thank you for your comments!

Posted by: RSVP at May 26, 2007 10:53 AM

Photo's should be current, natural, show you relaxed and happy!! As much as some of us don't want to admit it, first impressions can be lasting. I never look at profiles who have no/hidden photo's...what are you hiding is my first thought! And to go along with those pics, keep the descriptions of yourself real - other people will be more attracted to the genuine you, than the imposter you think they want you to be!!!

Posted by: trudestar75 at May 25, 2007 10:38 PM

There's lots of debate in here about what constitutes "average", "fat", etc, when filling in the size section; some saying "14" for women is now the average, others saying that actually means "fat" even if it's the norm, etc, etc - some things based on statistics, others to do with personal tastes and preferences.

I think it's pretty simple really to just judge for yourself what YOU regard yourself as in the categories, and presuming your photos are accurate representations of yourself (apparently a big "if" on here!) then it's totally up to anyone else perusing your profile as to whether THEY regard you as "slim" "overweight", etc, and then whether that is to their taste or not.

You do your bit, they do theirs, and everyone is happy (in theory anyway!)

Malsie

Posted by: Malsie at May 25, 2007 9:57 PM

I am 45 and wanted to show an accurate representation of myself. So I have just posted 4 new photos on my profile a week ago, the other 2 were 6 months old with some colour in my hair. These new photos have the specifications that people here have asked for; clear good quality photos, frontal views, well lit area, smiling face and recent (last week recent). Funny though, since posting these new photos I've received less interest, even though I've actively kissed a few ladies.

I can either conclude that women want men to dye their hair and the only way to get attention is to lie 'a little' or women are unrealistic in their expectations, as I believe I'm in good shape!

When making a choice about someone I find it is hard to make a decision on whether someone is represented truly by one photo only. Ladies, please make the effort, use all 6 available spots.

Posted by: manforreal at May 23, 2007 12:54 PM

Rick - as a woman I totally agree with you! I'm 48, but slim, not toned, but slim. I'm sick to death of overweight flabby, greying, balding men who still think they are what they were in their 30s early 40s. Or maybe they were only that in their own minds!!

But then, sadly, they say the "average" women is now a size 14-16. Well, that just shows that we are getting fat and lazy! I think it's disgusting and American!!!!!!! I will always believe size 8 is slim, 10-12 is average, 12-14 is verging on a bit overweight and anything above that....join weight watchers NOW or make sure your Will in is order.

Rick - I'm with you!

Posted by: Narelle at May 20, 2007 7:38 PM

photos are important, but why doesn't any state how old the photo really is? or add a little note about the appearance having changed.

There is nothing worse than meeting someone and they don't look like their pic :-s, they usually look a whole lot older.

Posted by: SONN at May 18, 2007 5:04 PM

and how would men "measure" Rick if you could supply us with a Mens Size chart and description?
small medium large and OMG?

Posted by: patience at May 17, 2007 11:11 PM

Rick.......I may be guessing here but think that your abit more than a stupid teenage boy maybe round the mature male age which is ,maybe from 35upwards.. CORRECT IN EVERY DETAIL with your examples.
personally i dont like stick figures, or women who say they are average and find them to be average for a SHERMAN TANK....but i do appreciate a woman who has something to hold onto and cuddle, if it ever gets that far.......(recent form suggests its a way off lol)....but i still keep looking and having faith in someone telling the truth about how they look.

Posted by: cookbrekkyfor2 at May 17, 2007 5:04 PM

Re:Your Photo's, Get real Girls don't lie to us or to your self.
i do a search you say your athletic but a ave/largeish picture pops up. KEEP IT REAL.

I agree with this so i have reposted it (below)

I know it's a photo blog,but this has got to be the most frustrating this about internet dating, besides liars, psychos etc because it's so subjective

Here's how I see it-

1. Photos are the most important thing for the vast majority of people in general. There are a few kind souls out there who really don't care what you look like, but they usually meet someone at the commune.

Girls sizes
Slim = can see ribs when you breath in maybe have a bit of spine poking out the back to not much chub anywhere - i.e not possible to have a muffin top unless your wearing way to small pants.- Think Paris Hilton (oh god it was the first thing that came to mind)

Atheltic= is average or slim but TONED no jiggly bits. well maybe a couple of frontal jiggly bits. - Angelina as Lara Croft or a gymnist, swimmer, or something like that.

Average= Has a bit meat in the right places and the standard chub around hips thighs and belly - can wear a bikini at the beach and not be harrassed and called whale by stupid teenage boys. - Lily Allen or Sophie Dhal (when she was aparently "fat")

A little bit overwieght=
More jiggly than an average girl, a generous amout of chub arount hips thighs, belly and if your lucky chest and when you wave your triceps will probably wave a little to. Shows the begining of a double chin, but not quite.
- Samantha Perkins (that ugly swimmers wife)

Largish - Pretty much EVERYTHING jiggles, or just a big solid girl, tank comes to mind here. size 18

Posted by: Rick at May 17, 2007 9:47 AM

Ok.
1.Dont have pics that are yrs old.
2.Dont send a kiss with no pic or password.If i am brave enough to put my pic out there along with alot of others out there in RSVP land its only fair.
3.Be realistic and actually read the profile.4.Send me a pic with your dog,your recent catch fishing or beside your car is not a good look!

Posted by: boo2007 at May 17, 2007 12:31 AM

A reality check guys! What is the point of posting a photo that shows you before you went bald/grey and put on weight. Do you know the difference between athletic and a bit over weight? There is nothing wrong with getting older...accept it. It happens to all of us. Don't try to hide it with an old photo. Do you think we won't notice when we meet you? If someone is happy with an overweight balding guy, then her idea partner profile would show it. If in doubt, ask a friend you know will be honest with you.

And I'm sure there are a lot of women out there too who are conning RSVPers and themselves.

Give what you expect in return.

Well, that's my say. Over to the others who have been tricked!

Posted by: Narelle at May 14, 2007 8:36 PM

I disagree with you Angel. there is nothing wrong with photos taken at arms length. A photo is a photo.
although, I somehow think that photos from funerals would not be ideal..nor sweaty gym photos and good gawd they would be wearing a singlet and lycra!!!!

I take my own photos at arms length because it is no one else's business and it saves me editing out other people. I do have friends and a life and a camera phone.....
Jason regarding the sun glasses..not a good idea if you want to attract the right person for you. The eyes are the window to the soul and also define the look of a face. With my sunglasses on I can attract attention from very young men...then I take them off and scare them...my eyes and the not so funny laugh lines tell my true age! However, even my old eyes are still one of my main attractions for the old guys who lust after me....

Posted by: patience at May 13, 2007 11:56 AM

Hi Joshua,
yes I can assist you.. re: women not liking guys photos taken at arams length.
If you don't either have friends or want them taking your photo - Surely your family takes pictures at : weddings, christmas, christenings, birthdays, anniversaries, funerals etc etc.. that you can have a picture on hand that's taken within the last year. I really don't think it should be that hard! or when you're at the gym or wherever, can't you just bring a camera and get someone to take a pic 'to show your cousin that lives in khasakstan'.. it shouldn't be that hard if you really are a person who gets out and about. cheers.

Posted by: Angel at May 12, 2007 7:32 PM

I have no problem sending a kiss to somone without a photo. If they like my profile they will show me anyway and I can take if from there. Its always a nice surprise to see what the person looks like and gives me somthing to look forward too.

Posted by: Shnugglie at May 12, 2007 12:27 AM

First it must be said that a photo should be COMPULSORY to enable a profile to be activated. A profile with no photo says to me that the person is not genuine and is treating this as a bit of a laugh. As for the some of the above comments, gee some of you are picky. Who cares if theres a dog, a fish or the Loch Ness monster in someones pic? As long as you can see their face clearly thats all that matters. And whats wrong with sunnies and pics taken on or in front of landmarks/buildings. I have to wear sunnies outside otherwise i look really stupid squinting all the time. Thank-you

Posted by: jason at May 11, 2007 4:58 PM

Ithink the photo should at least be 3 months old as people can not change that much in 3 months and a full body shot. I have benn suprised before with the photo and the person not looking the same. And having a password is a no go. I don't even look at profiles that have a password.

But photo's are the selling point on most profiles and i think is why most people read profiles after they see a photo of someone. But if it is a false photo expect to get a bad first meeting.

Be honest and expect honesty

Posted by: Cyclerider at May 11, 2007 6:28 AM

I don't mind the dog photo's...and I don't mind the fishing shots..... and I just realised that this is what you are all referring to as 'profiles with fish'....all this time I thought you were referring to the guy who has the mating Dolphins as a hint of what his intentions are......
But really the animals give more of a clue to the personality.....So the fish guys are saying "it's this big" as are the motorbike riders and the cars......

Dogs are scary to me so I would rather know that and avoid the owners.

Nothing wrong with my dressed up cat photo at all.......

Posted by: patience at May 9, 2007 9:35 PM

Is anyone else bored with these blogs now? I think we need a new topic...how do we go about starting one, not that I can think of one! I recall seeing a link once but I can't find it now. Was there ever one, or did I dream it? Stamps could be a good start, I say we should be able to purchase one at a time, or a minimum of three perhaps. I for one don't like communicating with 6 different people at once, after all, I'd like to meet at least one or two of those I contact, so that means the others go to waste, or I contact impulsively just because I have a stamp that needs using. Did I just start a blog???

[Ed: Each category now has an entry to let you suggest new topics! Scroll to the bottom and suggest something you think's interesting....]

Posted by: TishB at May 9, 2007 8:18 PM

I have really enjoyed reading everyone's comments - more fun than watching the tele! I agree, have a photo but if like me and you live in a village (Adelaide) password protect it. Be selective who you share your password with to save hurt feelings. There is no point in sending it to someone who cannot spell and types in CAPITALS and who has a photo of themselves in a blue singlet sculling a beer if you're into dinner suits and the ballet. I describe myself as average and I am extremely tall, taller then the average bear and a lovely size 16 but I am neither skinny nor fat so average gets it. If someone wants a stick insect model type they won't contact me which is a good thing!

Posted by: Baznett at May 8, 2007 10:45 PM

I don't understand why people would pass a profile by simply because it has no picture or password protected picture. Some people are private by nature, it doesn't mean they have anything to hide. I'd be more inclined to think that if the person had personality type set to very social, but still there may be many other reasons the person wants to not have their picture available to everyone. You're only hurting yourself if you don't check out profiles with no pics or password protected pics... and a word from the wise, a password protected pic is only a free 'kiss' away and even if there is no pic, you can still 'kiss' them to ask them to upload a pic for you. For those who don't have a pic or have a password protected pic, you should make sure your profile is as full as you can get it... Einstein (I think) said something like.. "A desk is a reflection of the state of mind. A cluttered desk indicates a cluttered mind, but what does this say about an empty desk?" I believe the same is true for a profile, it is a reflection of the personality of the author.

Posted by: Shigui at May 6, 2007 12:37 PM

Some interesting blogs.. there are some people who have done very well with their photos....but first I have to agree about the no shirt shot.. foul... the wine glass shot.. alcoholic.. the sunglasses shot.. vain... the excuses shot(It's a bad photo).. lazy and low self esteem..I would not contact any of these people... I met a man who was grey.. his photo was of him ten years before... bye bye... dishonest. and he was a sociopath to boot.. RSVP can you please make it possible for your clients to register complaints about sociopaths on your site...three complaints and they are off the site... these people are dangerous...Love and light to all..

Posted by: arcacia at May 6, 2007 10:46 AM

just HAVE a pic on your profile for starters. amazing how many guys expect you to accept kisses/IM chats etc when they have no pic at all.

Posted by: k at May 5, 2007 6:13 AM

Password protected photo's....guys....are you hidding from your wife and kids?

the best line I have read regarding this...was a guy who said was too famous and didn't want to be found out....give me a BREAK!

Posted by: Aria71 at May 4, 2007 9:19 PM

PLEEEEEASE, no singlet or bare chested shots that are out of context (ie- not at the beach). It's a very hard sell. And be honest about your age!

Posted by: YS72 at May 3, 2007 9:53 PM

pics just need to be a clear shot of what youre generally like every day or most days.
if you only look glamourous once every 5 yrs, then a glamour shot aint gonna cut it.
look happy (assuming you are!) and show your face. sunglasses, hats, blurry shots etc all indicate to me the person has something to hide.

Posted by: k at May 3, 2007 2:55 PM

If there's something in your photo that isn't a true reflection of your personality then please, pick another shot. There's so little to go on, it's hard not to make assumptions.

If you want to put in a fishing shot, bare chested, holding the dog - go ahead. If it's a fishing shot then I'll think you're a keen fisherman (and know it's something we don't have in common), if you're bare chested I'll think the shot is taken by the pool or you're showing off your physique (I'll probably think it's a little forward for first impressions but maybe others wont), and if you've got a dog in the shot I'll think you love your pet (or animals in general) and I'll open your profile for sure (because I love pics with animals in them).

If you're in a tank top with thongs and a stubby I'll think that's an indication of your dress sense and lifestyle (which I wouldn't find appealing) and be glad your photo tells me that.

If other people don't like the photo, don't worry about it, the choice of shot sometimes says as much as the photo itself.

Oh, and hiding one's photo often limits the responses to only coming from those who genuinely see compatability from wording alone - I like that.

Posted by: Zleek at May 3, 2007 1:39 PM

The obvious thing to me is that poor quality photos just don't rate, and I wont proceed to the profile content, yet RSVP is full of them, particularly sunglasses! If you don't want to be seen then protect your photos with a password. Or buy yourself a digital camera for under $200 & get a friend to take at least 50 shots in the space of 10 minutes outside in overcast diffuse sunlight and you'll be sure of getting a couple that look good. Don't make faces its not going to work! Also, try to smile - guys find a smile very appealing.

Posted by: GregA at May 1, 2007 10:37 PM

I agree with sparklingfun, most of the guys on here are shallow. One guy only wants a size 8 girl with light eyes ..i mean come on ....don't you guys ever think maybe you don't look so hot?? And really who cares, one day we will all be old and grey and wrinkly so maybe try looking further then the face and actually look at the personality you might be surprised. Anyway who wants perfect? its so boring and so 80's ;-)

Posted by: SeraphSuzie at May 1, 2007 9:53 PM

Hey there patience, April 30th...nice words...!!Ok..ok...I'd best update my photo...!! Hey Ladies..We men are visual creatures...we NEED to see that all important photo...otherwise our minds can/do run amuck..!! And a couple of photo no no's...1>Sunnies..2>On top of a mountain, looking like a 'Mummy' 3> That wine glass poised, about to be 'shuved' into your face...Well...I shall keep smile'n, hope'n & wait'n....

Posted by: Alphadynamic at May 1, 2007 9:39 PM

Has anyone noticed, that the idea of average, skinny and overweight in this blog has mainly been argued about in the women?

Let me make it clear. Men lie about their weight too in photos. And it ain't pretty. They have no idea how to define skinny or average either.

You want to make a good standpoint in your profile, be honest with yourself, be confident and someone will like that for being YOU. Because this is not like everyday 'going up to someone and chatting them up', unfortunately looks and a neat profile are always going to be more important just because of the format of...well...the internet!

Main pet peeves:

- dark photos.

- photos taken a zillion years ago.

- while photos with friends are okay, an armed draped over your shoulder NEVER looks good - people always get bad impressions.

- unless you are standing in front of a cool vintage american car with a silly costume on in a clear 'mock' photo, forget the vehicles please.

-silly photos with costumes are okay as long as we can see your face clearly and it's not *too* outrageous!

Posted by: tina at May 1, 2007 8:10 PM

I feel it's sad that most guys on this site are so shallow,they all want a trophy girl,gee santas going to be busy this year?lol.The average size of regular(non model-=gymjunkies)aussie woman is wait for it guys....a size 16.So maybe this site should be renamed RSVP me if your shallow.Please there must be "normal" people on this site?That don't base a person by their body and looks alone?
And yes i have met guys too that have had 10yr old +photos on their profiles too and also said they where seperated but alass they still lived with their wife.There should be a section for if your just on here for sex.And my photo is password protected for privacy reasons and because of the type of work i do being of a public nature.

Posted by: sparklingfun07 at May 1, 2007 1:58 PM

I like someone to look confident in their photos. This means being able to look at the camera whilst smiling.
I don't understand why you'd want to put your pet or motor vehicle into the photo.
Gentlemen, I also don't see the point of 'showing off' by not wearing a shirt, unless you're at the beach, of course (I guess, if you have no personality, the bare chest shot might work better for you).
Current photos are must. How can I recognise you, upon meeting, if you have misrepresented yourself in your photo?

Posted by: DiP at April 30, 2007 10:27 PM

Yeah what patience said - you hit it on the nail 100%.

Posted by: miragece at April 30, 2007 7:54 PM

Does size matter???

Mendelssohn your posts make me laugh...are you a real person or just an RSVP plant to generate more blogging???
If you are a real person are you a young person?
I believe if you love someone it is warts and all, for better for worse (and believe me as you grow older there is plenty of worse).Love makes a partner appear just as handsome to you when they are 50 as when you met them at 20. Looks and figures inevitably fade but it is the life history you share, the bad times overcome together and the good times which brought so much joy which make that person more and more loved...nothing else.
There would be nothing worse than being in a relationship with someone who only values you for your superficial and transient beauty. They are the ones who dump you if you dare to develop a wrinkle or put on a couple of kilos...that is not love at all....but it indicates great insecurity on the part of the person demanding perfection.

I love a photo of a man in a dark suit...it's a very sexy look to many women.
Even though the suit was designed to entrench men in the Patriarchy in which we live(look at the padding in the shoulders shouting I AM BIG and POWERFUL)....I love it.

As to size fourteen being fat...even using the accepted Australian measuring system and presuming manufacturers stick to that,it is not possible to be so general.
It would depend on height and body type and bone density...all sorts of factors.
People are growing larger(and have been for Centuries)
If you sit in any major shopping centre and do some people watching you soon become aware of the multitude of body types and shapes....you can see some fat looking size tens and elegant in proportuion 16's. It matters not one bit in the end...we are all attracted to other people according to our own individual tastes.
The idealised woman type also comes and goes Mendelssohn..take a look at some paintings from days gone by and you will see that not many stick insects were painted...Reubens is the well known artist who depicted the larger woman as ideal...as did most other great artists...being a little rounded was attractive because it indicated wealth and health (and therefore good breeding material)
Have you noticed ladies fashions prior to today when almost naked is the go? Look at how many bits were added and padded in efforts to make a woman look rounder and bigger...bustles and early versins of push up bras(bodices)... it happened for the men too.
If you ever travel to Europe take note of the height of some of the doorways and you will notice that the people were about 5 feet tall. People are evolving and growing bigger.It is not all to do with the hormones in the chickens!!!

Posted by: patience at April 30, 2007 12:27 PM

I don't like head-to-toe pictures of men wearing dark suits. Dark suits are very slimming and I've had problems in the past with men who look slim in their suits and have marked their body-type as slim, yet when I've met them they were a little over-weight.

Several men I've met who've described themselves as "slim", in my opinion, should really have selected "average." "Average" to me means that you've packed on so much weight that you're not slim anymore.

And with regards to women, yes, the average Australian woman is a size 14 which means the average woman is FAT. It seems to me that most women have a problem admitting that to themselves and think that because most other women are the same size that it's okay to kid themselves that they're average.

Posted by: Mendelssohn at April 29, 2007 1:30 PM

Angus... the "average" australian women is a size 14! I find your comments offensive!!

Posted by: Aymee at April 29, 2007 9:01 AM

Deffinetelly photos that are taken in the bathroom! They are a big "no-no".And a number of photos that says:"this me- 10 years ago, this is me-5 years ago..."and a current one.If you have only one good current photo- put one.

Posted by: Ereena at April 28, 2007 4:17 PM

vsop
the arm could be the siamese twin....

a girl who is friendly and approachable and whose father owns a pub tops it...according to men..
as for the body debte it reminds me of an old verse I still have lying around here somewhere. It is entitled Familiarity and it about perceptions at the beginning of a relationship and how they change sometime in the future..one line goes....

Your shape is sublime, a sensuous riot......
Hell, you're enormous..can't you go on a diet??

Posted by: patience at April 28, 2007 10:08 AM

Thanks, Unemployedbum, you made my day! And Patience too, there's nothing like a "posi-blog" to make you feel good!

Posted by: TishB at April 27, 2007 11:29 PM

On the positive side nothing tops a girl who's photo is freindly and approachable.

Posted by: VSOP at April 27, 2007 8:23 PM

A photo with a mans arm draped over the shoulder is a big turnoff and a definate sign of insecurity.

I find average is a very liberally used term to describe body type.

Posted by: VSOP at April 27, 2007 7:58 PM

oops! Sorry TishB...I wanted to check out what an old duck looks like to unemployedbum and I also forgot about the spy monitor. Your earlier post made me check out unemployedbum and send him lots of kisses
to help him in his quest for glory...perhaps I should offer him help with his resume instead??
I do like your use of exclaimation marks though!
I love them too!! :-)

Posted by: patience at April 27, 2007 12:20 PM

HEY TISHB... DONT FEEL BAD CHECKING OUT MY PROFILE, YOU ARENT TOO BAD FOR AN OLD DUCK, IF I WAS OLDER THEN I WOULD DEFINITELY SEND YA A KISS... ANYWAY, BEST OF LUCK IN YOUR SEARCH.

JUST FOR A LAUGH CHECK OUT PROFILE NAME: UNEMPLOYEDBUM

Posted by: UNEMPLOYEDBUM at April 26, 2007 5:12 PM

hazeA
One reason I need to see a photo(apart from gauging initial attraction) is to get an idea of whether there is a genuine person behind the profile. There is no way a woman in her right mind(or man) would arrange to meet someone in real life if they have no idea what the person looks like. not every profile is genuine and there is a population of married people who hide the fact until after they have slept with you, and married people who don't want to risk their partners finding out and of course the schoolboy pranksters who would think it is hilarious to set up a date with a woman and did you know inmates of prisons and psychiatric institutions also have access to the web??? And they get weekend leave!
People can of course put up a false photo but in my experience if they are willing to send the password with the initial contact they are more likely to be genuine. If they don't warning bells are ringing loud and clear.

Now using your form of logic we should be able to hide our profile and the photo and only send the password to those we like....that way the other person couldn't "judge" us on anything at all.....
I think people have to get over the term " judged" or "judgemental" of course people viewing us will form an opinion by our looks and what we write. Just because they are then not attracted doesn't mean anything except they were not attracted. It does not reflect on you.
By nature of the site we are signed up to we have agreed to be 'judged' by others for the purpose of finding a potential mate. It makes no sense not to give them the best possible idea of who you are and what you look like.

Do you also realise that it is possible for people to write whatever they like in the profile and none of it may be true. I am always amazed at the mid life crisis guys who hold down high powered jobs, care for their family and friends, fly internationally for the job and yet somehow still find time to engage in and personally participate in a sporting life that would stun an Olympian and attend the Opera Theatre and Ballet.... no, a picture paints a thousand words....

Posted by: patience at April 26, 2007 12:12 PM

Clear recent photo in something other than a singlet or bare chest...they can be secondary photos..and Please display, or go back to "chat rooms"

Posted by: Dianna at April 26, 2007 11:24 AM

I don't judge people by their photo, and I am not interested in meeting people who checks out "the look" first, the main reason why I don't want to post a photo profile. I would rather check out the "real person" first, the personality, interests, hobbies,etc. This does not mean I am hiding or I am ugly, it's just that I reveal my face only to those I like. it is more exciting that way. Those who seek the face might get just that: "just the face and nothing else".

Posted by: hazeA at April 26, 2007 12:33 AM

Fred! Eat something..please!
BMI is not an entirely accurate guide...doesn't take other factors into account such as bone density. I read your other entry about liking girls with visible bones and I have to say I am surprised you are going as heavy as Stick Insect when there are two lighter categories of thinness...The X-Ray and The Bone Scan....
just teasing...

Jenny, I have been on the end of replying to a kiss to ask for the password and then finding no attraction but there is no way that you can then reply(except by email which would be silly) The computer just tells you that you have already replied to the kiss

Which reminds me there is a group of people who have password protected photo's who feel it unnecessary to send the password with their contact. They believe that you should accept them on the profile alone and they shout "shallow" that you dared ask them... and usually don't respond. I find this attitude so very, very arrogant and bad mannered when they have had the opportunity to see my always visible photo prior to their contact. I call them "The Photo Witholders" and now I send them an immediate reject notice.

Posted by: patience at April 25, 2007 10:18 PM

On the matter of showing the photograph and fears what this may mean to your reputation, remember this come-back line:

"Hey...I saw your photo on RSVP last night (snigger snigger)"

"Oh so you use RSVP too? And I came up as an elegible match for you?"

Posted by: Mardy at April 25, 2007 10:04 PM

Fred you are getting a bit anal about the BMI business,your mate knows abit about "sensual" women .The "feminist"view on this would actually put a whole new slant on "why" men "like" emancipated women. Anyway are you looking for someone to "rock your world" or someone to boost your plummeting ego's guys? Oh yes rsvp how about a blog on what constitutes "bad manners" am not sure why people believe because they are on the net they are exempt from using any..

Posted by: sue at April 25, 2007 8:05 PM

Please can guys (and girls) be honest and post a photo that shows you now and not years ago. I met a man who I couldn't recognise from his photo and to this day don't even know that it was him in the picture. He was at least 10 years older than the photo. I won't even look at the bare chests. Turns me right off. Be honest. The truth is going to come out when you meet. What do you gain?

Posted by: Jackie at April 25, 2007 5:35 PM

I've got a password photo up for the small town reasons mentioned previously. What I hate is when you are asked for the password and provide it and then never hear another thing. I'm not that ugly-in fact, not ugly at all. My mother loves me! A polite "no thanks" would be better than silence. On profile content generally, I'm surprised by the number of men who like walking on the beach holding hands, and romantic dinners. I holiday at the coast but can't say I've been overwhelmed by these sights.

Posted by: Jenny at April 25, 2007 4:35 PM

Apologies to Unemployedbum! I was just interested to see what an Unemployed Bum looks like, and forgot I had the "spy" feature turned on! Sorry about that, relax, maybe I could just be your surrogate grandmother!

Posted by: TishB at April 25, 2007 4:35 PM

Agree with "Terri at April 21" above. Perhaps RSVP needs to add "Skinny" as a body type for guys like me who like the "stick Insect" look as Patience terms it?
Better yet, how about somewhere to enter your BMI as well as height?

BMI explained: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_mass_index

BMI Calculator: http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/bmi-m.htm

I class myself as slim because I am 188cm and 76kg. BMI of 21.5. That just makes it into the bottom half of "Normal" (see chart below).

To get the same BMI score a 160cm Lady should weigh 55kg. Not 65. Sorry girls 65kg nudges you into "Overweight"

Underweight Below 18.5

Normal 18.5 - 24.9

Overweight 25.0 - 29.9

Obesity 30.0 and Above

At the end of the day it's all about preference isn't it?

I have a friend and he and I can look at the same girl (too bad if "girl" is not a PC term for a 30something woman) and I will say "too fat" and he will say "too skinny". So who is right and who is wrong? We both are right in our own opinions.

Isn't the info you put in your profile supposed to help in looking for someone who might be compatible?

Reading a few of the profiles on here I get the impression that some people think of it more as bait in a trap?

Posted by: Fred at April 25, 2007 2:41 PM

What a hoot you should try the LavaLife site its almost xxx rated..ah there go all the men sorry ladies..in fact I am beginning to read these more and then look up the author to c if in my age range more realistic viewpoints and u get the humour...how about some replies guys ..I'll get a blog going with u then c what happens!!!

Posted by: GVSM at April 25, 2007 1:11 PM

EVERYONE read rsvip-15 photos,60 kisses,ignore members,1 free video update /week!!!. For only $9.95 per mnth. For the life of me -WHY-ARghhhhhh-this site is starting to get to me, sounding more like a circus than a legitimate dating site.Anyone with me?

Posted by: sue at April 25, 2007 12:58 PM

THE FUNNY THING I THINK IS THE GUYS THAT WANT ATTRACTVE WOMEN BUT ARENT THAT CRASH HOT THEMSELVES, DATING IS A TWO WAY STREET AND SOME PEOPLE NEED A BIT OF A REALITY CHECK

CHECK OUT PROFILE NAME: UNEMPLOYEDBUM FOR A LAUGH

Posted by: UNEMPLOYEDBUM at April 25, 2007 11:21 AM

Venus and Mars are at it again. These comments are hilarious,priceless and so true! Patience, April 24th you made my day(lol as I type this ).Agree the softer, sensual woman does have some "special" qualities.Have to agree there. Sorry but I can't stop laughing as these guy's ACTUALLY put this stuff in their profiles.Ditto....revulsion, yuk, puk.

Posted by: sue at April 24, 2007 11:58 PM

and another thing......perhaps RSVP can start a thread about what turns us off within the profile itself.
I really, really hate profile names with sexual innuendo either overt or covert....names such as Legover or similar and anything with 69 in it (hilarious... not!) and there is something greasy about all the massage maestro's and their sensual tactile hot oil routines.......when I read that I think "fat sausage fingers" for some reason.....and then I shudder with revulsion....and click to next!!

Posted by: patience at April 24, 2007 12:58 PM

As an RSVP elder(snort!) have two things I dislike in photos -old age should be in a home category 48+ Ladies first: THE BOOB SHOT...why? I go out of my way to make sure I wear a high buttoned outfit in my photos..not a hint of flesh, I tell you! ...because I want to find a man who is looking for a woman not a pair of breasts..and I have been well into the Top 100 many times.
Men, your turn...Please get rid of the 1970"s moustaches and clothes
and the 2000+ disgusting bits of odd hair growth on the face such as thin lines under the bottom lip...ergh!!!
As for the great weight debate..I am personally attracted to average and above men...there is always someone for everyone.
The average woman in Australia is actually now a size sixteen...however as someone pointed clothing sizing varies from brand to brand. I am currently a little overweight but getting back to an in proportion size 14---and intend to go no lower now...skinny older woman look their age or older. There comes a time in life when you have to choose between face and figure and I think I would like to preserve my face a bit longer!One thing I loved about my exhusband(the bastard) was that he loved me when I was a size 8 and he loved me just as much or more when I was a size 16(the fact that he decided he could love someone else at the same time is another story....I digress from my point....)
With that in mind I am almost tempted to stay a bit cuddly as I know I will fall madly in love with a man who can accept me now as I am. That will mean he likes me as a person and not depending on my body size....There is something really nice about those sort of men
Once men have experienced the pleasure of a soft, curvaceous"real woman" they are not so happy with the stick insect anymore....

Posted by: patience at April 23, 2007 9:59 PM

I read with gret interest the comments of men who think that a woman must be size 12 or smaller to be described as 'average' in build.
I can't help but wonder if some of you are the same guys who describe yourselves as 'average' and then go to the 'Big Man's Shop' to buy your clothes?

Posted by: Ms Average?? at April 23, 2007 5:25 PM

I think it should be mandatory that a photograph be included when creating a profile as we all like to put a face to the name and have a picture in our mind of who we are talking to or to decide whether to "kiss" that person or not. A two line profile doesn't tell the reader very much about that person. Come on, guys, we need to know about you, it's not necessary at this stage of the game to be romantic, that's for later, just tell us truthfully who you are and what makes you tick and you'll get more replies. Also proof read and proof read again, type profile in a document that can be spell checked and then paste it in and please try to be grammatically correct. Nothing puts off an intelligent woman more than a badly written profile.

Posted by: Sandra at April 22, 2007 8:52 PM

What a hoot this site is (providing your expectations are realistic). The classic was the guy who's looking for an INTELEGENT woman. It's all relative but there must be an opportunity for an entrepreneur to start a business which caters to the Spellchecker-Challenged...and how about a cliche firewall?(!) Hard though when we all want pretty much the same thing.

Guys, I respect that some of you choose to have a password protected photo, but if you initiate contact, please include the password.

Posted by: jobsnoteverything at April 22, 2007 8:32 PM

Hmmm... as someone who has already found 2 husbands(legal) and 1 boyfriend to 3 of her female friends and a boyfriend for oneself, I would like to put share some observations on the subject of pictures:

Men and woman are both shallow.

It is also true that each and everyone of us has his(her) own preferences with regard to the prospective parners' appearance.

Both sexes are influenced by socially promoted "model" images and the point of tension between woman estimating themselves and men typing in slim/average/whatever in their search is that woman in the absence of the better alternative( i.e. male brain) are trying to use objective measurement - statistically, an "Average" australian woman is size 14, whereas for a men an "Average" woman would be the one slightly deviating from the promoted "model type" (height=174+, weight=height-20, generally under 55kg) who, in this case would be the Slim one.

A successful female profile would have one close head/shoulders shot, 1 glamourous (going out) shot, 1 everyday shot as well as 2 full body pics - 1 dressed and one wearing a swimsuit. If you are not fat - it works like magic.

As a fat woman myself when I was looking for a boyfriend it turned out to be easier just to put exact current measurements into a profile(H=167, W= 77)and to give a link to a photoalbum with 30+ pics of me at different stages of fattness(i was fluctuating heavily within 30kg range downwards).

If you are not accurate in depicting your looks/political persuasions /number of murdered husbands:-)) in your profile you are making it harder for YOUR PERSONAL perfect one to find you.:-)

As for the guys... who cares what they look like anyway as long as they are "a good genetic material" - i.e. tall and successful?:-))

Posted by: Piganda at April 22, 2007 4:56 PM

HEY THERE EVERYBODY... I THINK THAT THE PASSWORD LOCKED PHOTOS ARE NO GOOD AND A PHOTO SHOULD BE MANDATORY WHEN CREATING A PROFILE DUE TO THE FACT THAT ANY WIERDO COULD JUST START A PROFILE AND USE THIS SITE AS A TOOL FOR THEIR BAD DEEDS. I THINK THAT MORE RECENT PHOTOS SHOULD BE USED TO AVOID AND DISAPPOINTMENT AND POTENTIAL EMBARRASSMENT... OVERALL, THIS SITE IS AWESOME AND THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE DESCRIBE THEMSELVES ACCURATELY... ALL THE BEST TO EVERYONE

Posted by: UNEMPLOYEDBUM at April 22, 2007 5:14 AM

Hmmm, lots of comments re the female size!! I agree with several bloggers in that:
size 6 = skinny, 8 - 10 = slim, 12 - 14 = average and 16 plus = overweight. Now to you guys! ATHLETIC means exactly that - broad shoulders, fit/toned (no wobbly bits) and definitely not carrying extra kilos! Carrying extra kilos and starting to show a pot belly or can't see your toes when you look down? Then don't kid yourself (or us girls), tick AVERAGE or OVERWEIGHT!

Posted by: Terri at April 21, 2007 6:02 PM

I dislike photos that hide the face, photos with sunglasses, blurry photos, and photos that are almost identical as the previous two. Also people who only post one photo, surely you have a few more lying around on your PC.

Posted by: Lartnecificscitsejam at April 21, 2007 5:25 PM

C'mon Cachinnate! I have been kissed by many slim, petite, gorgeous women but then again, musicians get that, Hee Hee!

I get heaps of emails from women who's photos are way outdated and their boobs hanging out, wrong clothes (being brought up in New York with 2 sisters who were very fashionable), too much makeup, fake smiles, gold-diggers, ex-partners or one night stands cut out of the photos like Cachinnate said. I can see thru all that.

What I am looking for in a women's photo is a pleasant looking, youthful women with eyes and a smile that portraits a good heart, kindness, humour, passion and healthiness in mind, body and spirit.

Show us men what you really look like today! I and many other men and women on here have been deceived and have at least made the effort to present ourselves to you in real time. It will pay off in the end, one way or another!

Peace to you all!

Posted by: jazzcat07 at April 21, 2007 2:24 PM

l find that some guys are of average looks and size (well to me anyway) and and want slim petite gorgeous women!!!! come on guys get real. how many gorgeous slim petite women kiss you???? call a spade a spade and accept yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: raindrop5 at April 20, 2007 9:57 PM

'Glamour' photos taken in the back yard wearing hard yakka shorts and blue singlet are really funny. These are not at all sexy, but more 'Zoolander-esque' which prompts rollicking laughter. Actually, glamour shots in general are a bit wanky.

Just be natural, smile.

Oh and don't use picks where the chick next to you is cut off in the frame. Tacky.

Posted by: Cachinnate at April 20, 2007 9:32 PM

No Mobile Photos and none of them cut off ones because I always wonder what was cut out! Oh yeah no Passport shots either!

Just confident expression and clear, so I can see your beautiful smile and gorgeous eyes!

Posted by: Marto Marto at April 20, 2007 7:12 PM

I actually find it quite entertaining that there are some Men out there who easily put Women down about their weight etc etc, but when you have a look at their profiles, they have the ugliest mugs under the sun!

Hell, give me a great looking frock, some make-up, dancing shoes and some great bass and I would rather be out and about dancing my backside off having a great night with at least 2 phone numbers in my purse :).

Posted by: Amanda Kay at April 20, 2007 6:38 PM

I have met this man (who happens to be in one of the top 100... he claims) not long ago for coffee and I was shocked to find someone who looks 10 years or (older) of what he seem to appear on the photo. I felt so deceived as I was looking forward to a man with nice wavy dark brown hair and blue eyes... and I had a man with thinning gray hair and gray eyes in front of me. I mean, seriously.... that is just totally dishonest.

Posted by: Hotcocoa15 at April 20, 2007 5:24 PM

Wow, men shouldn't: have their tops off,pose,be in crowds,be with friends, use webcam,phonecams,wear sunglasses, have professional photos. When exactly are we suppossed to aquire these magic photos and don't say get a friend to take some cause thats posing for the sole purpose of getting a date which by your defintions is desperate. Guys just don't have a ton of photos lying round the house.????

Posted by: A J at April 20, 2007 11:16 AM

Hmmmm well these comments certainly make me understand why so many people are on this site!!! What people show in their photo's are part of their personality...at least when you are contacted there must be something you like about that person in the first place...and sometimes you are pleasantly surprised..for me it is the voice on the phone...I need to like the voice ..so there you are we are all different and that is what it is about ...what is represented is who we are and if the representation in the reality is not what was expected then that too should tell you a lot. Guys if women put overweight on their profiles no one would be contacted you all seem to want slim!!!! and yes I have put overweight on mine ..honest yes!!! Cheers !!!

Posted by: gvsm at April 20, 2007 10:29 AM

Don't put too much faith in those photos - we live in the age of photoshop, and it's easier than you think to mask what ever you like, or don't like.

Have a search for 'dove beauty evolution'

Posted by: Anton at April 19, 2007 10:26 PM

Who would have thought this would be such a contentious issue?? ;-) I have an issue with my weight (size 14) so have put myself down as a bit overweight. I don't want to lead anyone on and figure that only the guys who have read my profile (and accept that I have a size 14 ass) will contact me. If someone wants slim or athlectic I am simply not the girl for them I accept that.

I don't want to attract any guy who is going to be concerned about my weight. I beat myself up enough about it I don't need my potential partner to also.

Remember we are all looking for someone out there apparently there is a lid for every jar out there!

Pass the chocolate?

Posted by: MissAquamarine at April 19, 2007 3:13 PM

I live in a small town - it has about 250,000 people, and about 5 different night clubs that pull very average sized "crowds". LISTEN: there are FREAKS about ok. The sort of bored, small town type of people who check out people on rsvp and then heckle them loudly in public because its ENTERTAINING. So depending on where you work etc, and what sized town you live in may have quite a bit to do with why you do or don't put your photo up. Seriously, I would have missed out on meeting a really nice guy if I hadn't have checked out a no show profile!
By the way, how are you supposed to make "friends" on a site that doesn't have a FREE automatic blurb saying "I know our profiles are incompatable for a romantic relationship, but you seem like the sort of person I would like to get to know as a friend." Come on RSVP is it really too much to ask, - if we get a helpful intro we're likely to keep purchasing stamps to email a little you know.. I would use the site so much more if this was changed.

Posted by: Michelle at April 19, 2007 12:55 AM

After reading and having a good chuckle at all these comments. Its no surprise to me that there are so many single woman out there. We all have a right to be a little fussy but I think santas wish list is full. How about reading the profile to see if there is some compatibility first. If there is no photo and a password provided have regard to the fact that there is most likely valid reason behind it-for me its occupation. I agree that a photo helps ones prospects however remember that we all have a right to discreet dating. For the girls out there wishing to meet their brad pitt- just remember you're not the only one - theres a dozen more competing for him too. For the other girls not so fussy - good luck - you will find someone to truly cherish you!!

Posted by: GB at April 18, 2007 5:02 PM

I find it amusing (and pathetic) to see a profile that has more than one photo that actually turns out to have been part of a series taken on the same day, same outfit, different backgrounds or with the camera at different distances. By all means, take a bunch of photos, then pick THE BEST ONE! It's not hard, people!

Posted by: GS at April 17, 2007 9:48 PM

I wish I could remember the name of the profile, but over two consecutive days, i was able to view a mans' profile that showed him all handsome wearing a suit, standing next to a beautiful woman in what appeared to be a wedding dress! There was absolutely no cropping. I wondered then how on earth that photo made it in, let alone who the heck the woman was! I also saw another mans' profile, an anglo saxon type, with a secondary photo of a very obvious Asian transvestive. What the...?

Posted by: GS at April 17, 2007 9:40 PM

I think everyone should tell it as it is. Don't say you're two sizes lighter than you really are. I think photo's should reflect your personality. eg. A sunny afternoon with a glass of wine says you're sociable.. A good shot of you on safari says your adventurous etc etc. AND why does every girl have Bernard Fanning and Eskimo Joe as their music of choice??? Just kiddin.

Posted by: FarTooCheeky at April 17, 2007 3:38 PM

Something that I find frustrating is that although I specify I only want to see profiles with photo's I still have to wade through all the "contact me for my photo" placemarkers. Can you make it so that we dont have to see these if we dont want to.

Posted by: Pete at April 16, 2007 9:14 PM

I looked at the photo and noticed that most people raised two hands. does that mean they have two profiles? I have come across this situation several times. Deflating.

Posted by: Wolfgang at April 16, 2007 8:01 PM

The comment by Angel about a guy taking a photo at arms length.
That's fine if you don't mind the photo being a bit old. Grown men don't exactly go out on the town with there camera's and take pictures of each other. "How do I look from this angle?" or go stand over there that would look fantastic with the light etc" The only time I really have a camera, or others want to take a group shot etc, is a special occasion or a trip somewhere. In that case unfortunately the photos are going to be over a year old. I understand girls love taking pictures, but that is just not something grown men do. Most of the girls I've been around don't take a camera with them shooting guys either. So I'm curious as to what you want me to do? I be much more comfortable taking a photo at arms length, then playing a model for another guy or girl. Maybe I'm missing something can you assist maybe? Thanks.

Posted by: Joshua at April 16, 2007 10:36 AM

Most people on this blog sound so shallow. Okay, one person may not like guys with dyed hair and another doesn't like people with pets, but really people, just do the photo with your guidelines and RSVP's.

A few things:
-If you have sunnies on in one photo, have at least one decent photo without sunnies. Eyes show real character.
-Photos should be good quality i.e. good light, close-up, minimal focus on background etc.
-No photos taken with you holding the camera at arms length.
-Recent photos i.e within 1 yr.
-Password protected photos are okay, but I see no need to have no photo up at all.
-Pets, motorbikes, action shots, cars, boats are great as they show the person's personality and what the like. Just as long as they are not the main focus of the photo. Pet shots where you are having a fantastic time with your pet and show that you love animals are great, but if the animal is covering your face they are pointless.

There, I have said my peace.

Posted by: Katie at April 16, 2007 9:43 AM

I see a little debate about the definition of "slim", "average", "athletic" etc.
Regardless of the bra burners insisting on what SHOULD be, I do not know any guy who thinks 1) Slim = size 12, 2) Average = FAT, 3)Athletic = Shot putter.
We are guys and consider Slim to be "Paris Hilton", Athletic to mean toned and slim (NO giggly bits), Average = one chin only, and no tuckshop arms.
That is the way it is. Girls, you have your requirments and so do the men.

Posted by: Steven at April 16, 2007 9:16 AM

I don't like it when guys are thinning on top and you meet them only to realise they have had a hat on in every photo they have shown you. A photo has to be clear and show the real everyday you, plus one nice and done up ready to go out. Distance shots are useless and who cares for a photo of your motorbike or car? I would rather see one of you. I can't stand getting a kiss from someone without a photo and when I browse I only browse those with a photo shown. The others don't even stand a chance. I realise in some jobs security wise or for those with ex problems it might be a risk to show who you are but maybe a section for that would be good. If you are just hiding your photo because you are too ashamed in case someone finds out you are on a dating site, then you shouldn't be on here. You might as well be honest from the start because if you get to the point of meeting someone and you are not like your photos then it is very deceitful and upsetting. It would be handy if there was a response we could answer a kiss with that says PLEASE UPDATE YOUR PHOTO AND SEND ANOTHER KISS.

Posted by: meg at April 15, 2007 11:31 PM

Well, I can't really criticise, as I have a rather blurry photo - I just don't have another, but a close friend, who is also on RSVP, has promised to have me over to her place for a mutual photo-shoot soon!

I just wanted to say, in defence of the women who keep their photos 'password protected' that, if you live in a small city like Canberra, and work in loads of different places during any given year, as I do, having one's mug openly visible on RSVP can be a bit *too* 'public'. I would instantly recognise dozens of the Canberra guys I see on RSVP, if I saw them in the street, or at work. If they choose to 'go public' with their photo, that is entirely their decision, but as a woman I find it just too much. If someone likes what they read in my profile, my password is only a 'kiss' away. Just use the 'kiss' that says 'Would like to see your photo' - it's not that difficult, and an RSVP 'kiss' is hardly a marriage proposal. If you don't like what you see, that's fine. But please, do try to understand that for many women, a public photo, available to any casual 'trauler' is just the teensiest bit on the scary side.

Now - what do I like to see in a man's photo? That's easy...a SHIRT! What don't I like to see - a FISH! I am also averse to baseball caps pulled low over the eyes, sunglasses, and pictures that came off your security pass at work.

Posted by: pleasantpeasant at April 15, 2007 9:58 PM

guys photos taken at arms length are the worst. "I never go out anywhere and have no friends that would even take a picture of me" - that's what it says to us girls.

Posted by: angel at April 15, 2007 9:49 PM

I live in a small town, where my ex also lives. I have my photo password protected, as its nothing to do with anyone else if I want to meet people on the internet. A big turn off is the beer can or bottle. Surely it could be prised out of your hand for just a minute?? The photos that are over a year old, you will be found out!

Posted by: StuckForWords at April 15, 2007 5:07 PM

Thanks SmilingMaya you illustrated my point!

With female body sizes I think it would be best to go by Body Fat percentage (BF%). You could have * Slim - ideal or below, * average - within healthy guidleines, * bit overweight - not quite healthy range to not quite obese.
* largish - obese, *athletic - Toned & at least average bf%.
This would be a lot more accurate. I agree with everyone above that 'average' is a very poor term to use as it would depend on a whole range of factors including environment, preference, culture etc. For example a fat girl in a fat area would quite rightly be average in her neighbourhood. Or asian people are usually skinny anyway so a fat asian could very well be average to others etc. To be universally correct to the wider audience as you have here in RSVP, BF% would work quite nicely I think.

Posted by: Joshua at April 15, 2007 4:25 PM

Don't like the studio photo's. All the dates i have been on, the girls look nothing like the pics, actually turn out to be unatractive to me. Stop waisting my money and time. I'm sure this applies for guys and gilrs.

Posted by: chooch at April 15, 2007 4:15 PM

Okay, I respect privacy because some of us are high profile people that others are embarrassed or fear criticism but I think it’s only fair that once you make contact with someone that you give the decency to present yourself as whatever you say, physical attraction is important. Now back to the question, hahaha. What do I look for is someone who’s pictures are not blurry, very old, just black and white and wish that there is the absence of sunglasses or hats. Whatever is behind those precious glasses or hats should be seen, if not then you’re just being plain deceitful, don’t you think?

Posted by: Hotcocoa15 at April 15, 2007 12:40 PM

in ref to many comments about size and the decription we use and how it conjures up for those at the other end of photos..has anyone noted what women on this site think of males and their rather broad view of average? I have met a couple of ppl in the last few months that used old pics and yes in these they were average but on meeting them they had the pot belly thing happening along with double or triple chins. I am certainly not 'Angelina' and have in the past put down large for myself only to be told this was exaggerating my body and it should be a bit overweight. I have a theory if you cant look in the mirror and see the "REAL" you then how can you expect others to accept you :-) discover self before discovering others

Posted by: Letthedustsettle at April 15, 2007 12:36 PM

KIMMA - THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMENT!!! I dont know how many guys are on here thinking that a new woman they are meeting in their life is dying to hear about an ex. Also yes have met a few people with evidently a photo that is 5-10 years old and with lies in their profiles about their age, children, jobs, education - this indicates to me you are prepared to stretch the truth about so much more - trust not likely to be an important factor for you in life so you will never be part of mine. Pls think about the aftereffects of meeting someone and thinking you may like the person enough to consider a friendship

Posted by: Marti at April 15, 2007 12:24 PM

Some photos feiture a caught fish, motorbike, car,work uniform, pets, children, minimal clothing, sunglasses,other women. This helps me determine what message about himself the person wishes conveyed. I assume that RSVP checks the permission from other parties to be in the photo displayed to public. I would disallow any phoyos of children and other parties on RSVP. Some photos of guys without a top on may not be their best presentation. Personally, I have never responded to nor initiated contact with a person who had no top on in his photo. However there may be women who would. Overall, I prefer a natural photo to the professionally taken portrait.

Posted by: SmilingMaya at April 15, 2007 10:23 AM

Define Average?
I have a size 10 pair of pants and also a size 14 pair of pants, and currently fit into both????
depending on the make of the garment, body size could be anything!
from my point of view:
slim is size 6-10 - skinny or anorexic.
average is size 12-14 - curvey/voluptuous :)
large is 16 & over - alot of wobble. sorry to all the large people.
athletic could be a size 6-16 that has muscle and is very active/sporty/ is currently competing in any type of sport.
Then again men have a completely different view!
If I am a size 10 top/with a D cup:12-14 pants, not very muscular, 5'9 tall: what would you say I am? AVERAGE?????

Posted by: confused at April 14, 2007 11:53 PM

Hi All,

It appears to me that the issue here is not necessarilly the photo's, but the people who complain about what there seeing. I say this due to the comments posted on this board - "Sleazy", "what are they trying to prove", etc. These photo's are seen not as a description but as a warning signal for something to stay away from, regardless of what the author honestly intends. The person is of coarse being highly superficial and stereotipical, but this unbalanced view is likely rooted from hightened security, moral and/or esteem issues. Most likely due to prior experiences, and doesn't necessarilly make them a bad person, just overly careful. So my view is to show what ever picture you want, but if you want a much larger audience who aren't scared away for no reason, LISTEN to them. It doesn't really make sense on the whole, but I know I'm going to try. Good Luck everyone! Sounds like we all need it.

Posted by: Joshua at April 14, 2007 8:18 PM

I have found that mens' photos are generally web cam or camera phone photos, looking more like a mug shot. Women take more care of the photos they choose and a better reflection of the true self. I understand that people want their photo to be passworded, in case of work or personal conflicts. Just so as long, they provide a decent one.

Posted by: Narelle Blessington at April 14, 2007 8:06 PM

I agree with some of the people above: don't feel obliged to follow these lists of rules, just pick the photo that you think works best for you.

How you show yourself and the care you take in photographing yourself delivers just as much information as your actual physical appearance in the photo.

Once when I was exceptionally bored I fired up a broad search and went through 600+ profiles. I found that I skipped profiles with no photo (unless the headline was spectacular), made (very shallow) snap judgements based on appearance when there was a photo and spent more time actually reading a profile when there were multiple photos that were passworded. Maybe I'm just weird, though.

Posted by: Notgareth at April 14, 2007 7:21 PM

I wish guys would shave their beards off!

And there is nothing more annoying than captions that say shocking photo (and they usually are!). Get a good photo. For heaven's sake if even you know it's a dud why would you think we'd want to go out with you.

Posted by: jen at April 14, 2007 6:16 PM

How do people know that the person "draped" over someone in a photo is their lover/ex etc etc??? There's some suspicious ppl out there.... I assume they must have some good friends.
Anyway, here's my photo tips:
* Include your face
* Wear clothes
* No pets
* No kids
* No cars/ motorbikes etc
* Not glary and far away
* No DIY shots using your webcam - creepy!
* Don't be lying on your bed - creepier!

Posted by: Phillippa at April 14, 2007 5:04 PM

Agreed, a recent photo with no sunnies and big enough that I can see your facial features.

Wedding rings are a problem for me (but I appreciate the tip-off - "Melbakimble thanks you for your interest but thinks you're either a total player or not over it yet".

I tend not to look at the profiles without a picture. I respect a straight-shooter and have my profile up there with photos of me...don't be a wimp :-)

Posted by: Melinda at April 14, 2007 4:47 PM

Guys and girls.

My experience with internet dating so far is negative. As a male I hate women who lie about their body size, age and post 10 year old photos or worst Photoshop enhanced. Body sizes on women are measured from the hips. Size 10 and under is slim; size 12 is average; over size 16 is large. There is also a hip to waist ratio. A size 16 with a slim waist is considered voluptuous and sexy, where a size 10 with no curves is considered overweight. It is amazing how many 40plus women say they are slim when in fact they are over size 16 with no curves. The photo can reveal a lot about the profile. You cannot hide aging and bad living. The photo is not everything, but if a person is prepared to lie about their looks, what secrets are they really hiding?

Posted by: John at April 14, 2007 4:29 PM

Allison and Angus. I'm a petite 10 (do buy size 8's occasionally) and an athletic body type (work out hard several times a week).

Allison is definitely an average Aussie woman at size 14.

Angus is dreaming if he thinks the average woman is a size 10. Take a look around you?

When I'm looking at men's profiles, I look for those who have ticked 'athletic'. If they have selected average, I'd expect them to (a) be carrying a few extra kilos or (b) not do much/if any exercise.

Posted by: Annie7 at April 14, 2007 2:20 PM

Please keep your shirts on, guys. There's a time and a place... this isn't it!

Posted by: Annie7 at April 14, 2007 2:11 PM

A recent photo, which is not all that difficult to obtain these days...Personal preference.. :-)A natural smile(-:....or a cheeky grin......forget the standing in front of sports cars...or on top of Mt Everest....or the you beaut bike....more excitment can be found just looking into anothers eyes....did I say that, must be a romantic hey:-)

Posted by: Gary at April 14, 2007 10:53 AM

For men - if you're wearing a tie with a short-sleeved shirt, then that is grounds for instant rejection regardless of how good-looking you are. My other gripe is dyed hair. If you have dark hair in your profile photo yet turn up for a date with that hideous, low-class, dark roots/blond ends combination then I will leave.

Posted by: Mendelssohn at April 14, 2007 10:50 AM

No photo, no read, not even password photo's. There needs to be an initial attraction. And ladies, glamour shots are deceptive, and the ex's arm is a big no-no.

Posted by: alex at April 14, 2007 9:26 AM

I put a photo on my profile that was taken the day before I met someone. This photo was taken on timer by a digital camera mounted on a tripod. I thought it was a good photo, but certainly no glamour shot, however the person I met said he didn't recognise me from my photo - go figure.

Posted by: Juls at April 14, 2007 8:01 AM

Side view photo's, long distance or pics with sunglasses/hats on are very frustrating, you may have a great profile, but if I can't see what you look like, then it makes a difference, if your picture isn 't clear or not there at all, I wouldn't respond. Shallow I know, but if I can put my head on here, so can you!

Posted by: Angie at April 13, 2007 11:36 PM

I agree with Joshua, don't take a photo of yourself to please others, take one that YOU like yourself. There are few thing's that maybe we all should do:
1. don't wear sunlasses in your photo.
2. take a front view photo.
3. take a full view photo.
Funny faces or people with a drink in there hand are not always bad, they show a side to someones personality, same with the shots of them in there singets or boardies, this shows who they are, if you judge people on what they are wearing or doing, then you should not be on this site. This is the only window you will get of that persons personality until you meet them.

goodluck everyone, I hope you find what you are looking for.

Posted by: Michelle at April 13, 2007 11:07 PM

Bare-chested photos smack of sleaze. Women don't want to see it.

Nor do they want to see a photo of you car, dog, boat, motorbikes, etc.
Keep those for your mates.

Posted by: Jenine at April 13, 2007 8:33 PM

Ugh.. My list of profile photo hates are:
- sunglasses
-novelty items such as beards and hats
- nude torsos
- cars
- animals
- old old old photos, one guy has his high school rugby shot?? WHY???
- camera phone or web cam shots
- weird faces or 'funny' shots
- no photo or password photos

How hard is it?? Really? Just put a normal photo of yourself up - sheesh, eventually, the other person WILL see you in REAL life, let them make up their mind themselves!!

Posted by: Amanda at April 13, 2007 7:44 PM

What about baby photo's? It could be an indication of where you came from. Or what your kids would look like! Especially if you merged the two! At least at that age you don't get judged if you have your shirt off or a dummy in your mouth. It's amazing the importance some people can place on a piece of apparell. Somewhere along the way it's no longer ok to be just you.

Posted by: Joshua at April 13, 2007 6:45 PM

I think RSVP should ensure (better than they do now) that members understand about photos. A 10 year old glamour shot will end in tears and what's the point of pets, bikes, Great Wall of China etc. in a photo?
There's a lot of time wasting could be saved here but maybe it's not in RSVP's interests to save it?

Posted by: Morph at April 13, 2007 6:44 PM

Just a general comment about photos. If you like to see the person sending the kiss why make them ask to see you?? It is not easy for anybody to put themself out there but at least make it even by putting you photo on line to be seen.

Also, I am 5-6/7 can anybody explain why ladies who are between 5 and 5/4 need (want) guys who are 5/10 and above? I just don't understnad the thought pattern. As whilst I am having a winge is it better to say sorry not interest or I have just started seeing someon??

Smile and I will catch you online.

Posted by: robbo1960 at April 13, 2007 6:33 PM

I like to see your face. See f you have kind eyes. So please take the sunnies off and at least a bit of smile---don't look like you lost a dollar and found five cents.

A clear pic with a top on please and not from when you were twenty (LOL).

Posted by: Donna at April 13, 2007 3:57 PM

Hi Guys. Can I just say that I don't think anybodies personal opinions regarding what is acceptable to them in a photo is RELEVANT at all. The only things that need to be taken into account are a) RSVP's requirements, b) The person posting the pic showing an honest recent physical depiction of themselves and c) that the primary photo is more suited to the general audience.

Can I give everybody a piece of advice. If you are going to post a picture DON'T LISTEN to ANYONE ELSE but as above, RSVP and YOURSELF. If you start listening to others you will please one but displease another, and worst of all show a dishonest depiction of yourself (wasting everyones time). I don't think there is some trick you can learn to fool people into liking you if you show a certain photo instead of another (atleast not after they have met the REAL you). I would however advise that the pictures you select show as MUCH of your honest self as possible. Otherwise your wasting your and everyone else's time.

Posted by: Joshua at April 13, 2007 12:58 PM

RSVP is WINDOW SHOPPING...I don't stop Browsing for something that looks undesirable.....I know how that must sound...but that's the reality. Please make an effort with your pics!!! PLEASE!!!!!

Posted by: little Mick at April 13, 2007 11:31 AM

so much info being displayed about photos when beauty is in the eyes of the beholder

so at the end of the day false photos or profiles are not fooling anyone except the person who displays them

Posted by: averageguy4u at April 13, 2007 10:48 AM

Photos are great though I don't mind if they are password protected and can deal with the cropped out arm around the shoulder.
The 'dos'?
DO smile!!!!
DO look at the camera

However, the list of 'don'ts'?
NO Sunglasses
NO glamour shots (bad for women, worse when it's men)
NO bare-chests/singlets
DON'T take your own photo with the camera at arm's length

Posted by: Vera at April 13, 2007 9:26 AM

No stupid faces or poking your tounge out cause it is not flattering, why use something that is not flattering. A nice head and shoulder shoot that is in focus is better than anything else. the quality of phone camera photos are much better these days just need to use them correctly and upload them to a photo editor, so use nice pics from them if you dont have access to a good digital camera.

Posted by: crazy469 at April 13, 2007 3:33 AM

Thought I'd join the fun and add my (just speaking for me) two cents (hopefully).

Being that this is a dating site, the objectives are obviously to get to know someone by reading their profiles and looking at their photo's.
Given this is true, then it would follow that the best way of achieving this is to show a photo of yourself as accurately as possible.
For this to happen I would think the best idea is to 1)Show yourself recently and 2) Show as much of yourself physically as possible (taking into account the boards guidelines about modesty [not anybody else's, as modesty is a moral and social issue which people vary largely with].

So given the above I would give the below guidelines.
- If you only have one photo, make sure that one shows as much of you as possible (no sunnies, baggy pants, large jumpers etc.) A close-up or full body shot (preferably both) in natural light would be best.
- Other photos should make up the missing parts from above, or otherwise show some other physical feature or visual representation of you (personality or other).

- Your primary photo should be the one that best descibes you and your physical characteristics the best.

- Other photos can be whatever else describes you -Again either physically or mentally (personality, interests etc).

- Most importantly for this to work in the best possible way. No one should judge what another person puts in these other photos. Bare chested guys/scantilly clad women, bad photos etc - may either be a honest physical depiction (more the better), or of an arrogance, bad self esteem etc. But no one should be pre-judged by the photo alone. If a guy wants to date a girl with a great body but the girl thinks she will appear arrogant if she shows herself in a bikini how will the guy know? Or a girl who would never date a fat guy and then saw an attractive mug shot or Mr Biggy. How does she benefit?

To sum up, photos are a physical depiction of you not a personality one. If one of the optional photos shows something you don't like don't look at it, but appreciate the photo all the same as it teaches you more about the person. And unless your a mind reader, the picture is anywhere from 98% up purely a physical desciption.

Posted by: Joshua at April 13, 2007 12:26 AM

Hi All
Interesting comments to read. I like profiles with photos either on show or password protected. I am interested to know if most who have contributed comments here are from major metropolitan cities. I, myself have a photo and yes maybe I need to update it, lo and behold that photo has now become over a year old (where has that time gone!!!!). I also have my photo password protected - I live in a small regional town where everyone pretty much knows everyone so I have my photo password protected as I would like to have little privacy when I am going through the introductions stage. Yes I have been "sprung" out on a "coffee date" and of course I was Interrogated by students the very next day. Sometimes people password protect their photos and try to keep a little bit of their private life well exactly that "private" so as to have a chance to meet someone and get to know them without the "eyes of the town" watching your every move. I, in no way have my photo password protected in order to deceive anyone in anyway I would just like viewers to read my words first and then have a look at my photo and also allow me the chance to stay away from the local freakazoids who maybe also listed on site. By the way - good luck everyone with your "pursuit of relationship happiness"

Posted by: Kaylee at April 13, 2007 12:09 AM

Dear oldfashionedgirl1,there are reasons why people would want their pic hidden and password protected,and perhaps i shouldn`t go into that right now ...let me just say when you have met several psychos you can tend to want to do just that for a while....not necessarily hiding from the wife ,although i guess that probably does happen ,i`ve met married women on here who don`t let the cat out of the bag until a couple of dates ...so it happens ...see all about honesty :-)

Posted by: Des at April 12, 2007 11:50 PM

Hey everyone who has commented on hear about Pics ,has my vote ,but unfortunately the people who play the very old photo ploy ,aren`t likely to be reading this or wouldn`t understand anyway.
I think it`s more prevalent than anyone imagines ...and to be honest (and i am) the lies and old pics turn me right off.....to the extent you wonder if its all worth it,have wasted a lot of time with people misrepresenting themselves ,sorry but its a fact.

Posted by: Des at April 12, 2007 11:41 PM

i guess it s the eyes and the smile that do actually get your attention...

Posted by: dawnraid at April 12, 2007 10:03 PM

Just be honest! It's so simple. We're all here on rsvp to sell ourselves as a single person to the opposite sex hoping to meet Mr or Miss Right - so why is there a need to lie in your profile and or outdated picture/s? Word of advice keep your picture/s and profile "current" like within a 3-6 month period. People should also not be so demeaning by judging a person only by their picture there may be a hundred reasons for this but we're all unique in our own way so be polite to one another "it's nice to be nice".

Posted by: Suzy at April 12, 2007 9:39 PM

I never look at profiles with passwords on their photos - what are you hiding from (your wife?)??? A photo of someone in a blue singlet holding a stubbie is such a turn off, as is no shirt at all - assuming you put your "best" photo in, this is not very promising! I generally think that the amount of effort you are willing to put into your profile to attract people is indicitive of your attitude to your relationships . . .

Posted by: CelebrateUrself at April 12, 2007 9:16 PM

NO PHOTOS WITH SUNNIES:- it's like you're wearing a mask! No BLURRED or GLAMOUR SHOTS:- we can't see the 'real' you. A RECENT PHOTO:- no more than a few months old. YOU ALONE:- not a photo of you & a detorsoed arm hanging about your neck or shoulder and finally. CALL A SPADE A SPADE:- if you're overweight - admit it! A pot belly is not AVERAGE guys or flab for girls! We all age.

Posted by: OldFashionedGirl1 at April 12, 2007 8:44 PM

I think members should date their photos - at least to the month and year taken - I have done this on my profile. Therefore you know if the photo is current or NOT! There is NOTHING worse than wasting your time meeting someone who looks nothing like their photo !

Posted by: offandracing at April 12, 2007 2:38 PM

We do our best cropping photos, but it's not always easy getting a good result. Sorry about Elvis, jacq42, but you'd be surprised how many people send pics of themselves in costume. And I think we'll leave that there...!

As for "success stories", we actually have hundreds of people tell us about their RSVP marriages - we just choose a sample.

Posted by: RSVP at April 12, 2007 11:00 AM

The best photographs are ones that show you as you are and reflect a healthy personality.
Must be current - within a year - reflecting your current weight (after break down of a relationship some people eat for comfort and stack on lots of weight. For others the stess causes severe weight loss).
Must be clear and mostly of you - your face, upper body or body should fill most of the frame.
Preferably if you want to show your whole body also have a face shot.
And air brushed studio photos are arguably misleading.

Posted by: Lifesnotadream at April 12, 2007 10:42 AM

Make the photos real and current and easy to see. It's difficult when "average" has so many connotations, I don't think it means you have a weight problem. Maybe the body type categories need to change too.

Let's face it though, despite a witty and honest profile, photos are the attracter in the first instance- that's human nature. You only have to look at the top 100- it's generally only the "lookers" male AND female.

It took a lot to put my photos up warts and all so expect the same from others. So I only really focus on photo included profiles.

Posted by: StretchBearer at April 12, 2007 8:57 AM

I feel cheated when I meet a date to find out that there photo was seven years old. It is so awkward to not be said hello by a bulky lady when you were looking for a slim smily.

Put up a recent photo. One showing your face and another showing full frontal.

If you are shy about your photo, put none in primary and put real photos in secondary.

Posted by: Tony at April 12, 2007 8:34 AM

No photo's that are over 12 mnths old.Guys removing their shirts, either their trying to hard or are a player and don't wear sun glasses. what attracts me is a big positive smile and great eyes.

Posted by: Nicola Evans at April 12, 2007 6:57 AM

Natural looks, a photo that is large enough so we can see you, no license photos & DEFINITLEY no studio photo's because thats not your everyday look.
You have to be honest, after all ... you may end up meeting the guy/gal

Posted by: kewl4cats at April 12, 2007 2:27 AM

I totally agree about the glamour shots, bad enough when girls do them but for guys they are quite sad...
However I was extremely disappointed when my photo of me with with an Elvis impersonator in Vegas was cropped! I thought it was easy enough to tell who was who???

Posted by: jacq42 at April 11, 2007 11:50 PM

Pics should be no older than 6 months for main profile pic.Not a studio pic.Must have a nice smile and show the eyes and preferably by themselves.

Posted by: Albert Fell at April 11, 2007 11:06 PM

yeah, the bare chested photos are a definite turn off- doesnt matter how fit you are.