RSVP Blog

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Posted by: RSVP at May 26, 2007 10:52 AM

Personally, the biggest reason I ignore crappy grammar and spelling is the probability that such profiles usually sit in front of someone involved in international identity theft rackets or other scams. e.g. You chat to someone, they find out bits and pieces about you like your name, where you were born, birthdate, phone number, etc.... then their accomplices set up credit in your name. Not fun. This seems to be more likely to happen with profiles whose abuse of the english language tends towards eastern european or african language patterns, but it could be anyone.

With that said, I also find "txt" and the absence of appropriate capital letters a turn-off in its own right. It screams to me that the person who wrote it doesn't hold themselves up to any kind of intellectual standards. It seems unlikely to me that someone who takes lazy options with writing a profile message is going to hold themselves to rigorous standards when it comes to their choices and their behaviour.

Of course... I might be overanalyzing this, but in general my experiences is that people who use correct spelling and grammar in their profiles have been better matches.

I will of course qualify this (lest I be hoisted on my own petard) and say that the above opinions apply to MY tastes and the likelihood of a match with ME. Other people's mileage may vary.

Posted by: GedIntoLife at May 25, 2007 11:20 AM

Bad spelling and poor grammar is SUCH a turn-off! It indicates a low level of intellect, lack of education and a lack of pride in their presentation...after all its not 'really that hard to use a spell checker! I just love it when they cant spell things like intelligence, executive and expect us to believe that they are a smart business person!

Posted by: Julie at May 23, 2007 11:02 PM

Nor can I resist the temptation Frank. Are you telling us that you have a life, a partner or are getting laid when you've had the time to read all these comments? lol Oh well, I guess we all have some spare time inbetween our 'personal ' activities.

TishB ... I agree that 'photographs' is the correct word but we seem to shorten everything now. I can understand photo/s denoting singular/plural but an apostrophe is used to show something that belongs to that word, ie photo's quality etc.

Interesting too that we add a 'y' to the end of christian names ie Lukey, Rachy - fortunately it is difficult to add a y to Karen lol ... cheers

Posted by: Karen at May 21, 2007 8:14 PM

I cant resist the tempatation... are you guys kidding? Seriously! Get a life, a partner, or get laid!

Posted by: Frank at May 21, 2007 10:30 AM

si, is texting shorthand really a progression?
I can't imagine any great novel being written in text.

The problem is that change has become to rapid for many people.

You state that it is okay as long as you know it is shorthand and not the true spelling...but, how long before the true spelling is lost forever? Kids are growing up using this written language now...they will soon be unable to write or read using the current form of English. ...which is quite sad for those who love words...and for those who are trying to learn English as a second language.

Posted by: patience at May 20, 2007 5:54 PM

using 'txting' style of writing has no bearing on education or intelligence...it is our language evolving...just like language has since we developed the first grunt way back in africa. as long as you know its a form of shorthand and not the true spelling. all lower case is fine by me too.
why do people resist progression?

Posted by: si at May 20, 2007 4:27 PM

Some of the things that really turn me off a profile are:

NO 1. Bad Photos - where their car is bigger than they are. Also photos eating food, making faces or with their pets (don't really want to see your parrot or your monkey). Even worse - wearing sunnies or can't see your face at all.

2. Guys I cant believe you can be so corny in your profile. Your worse than the women. Watch out for those cliches & corny one liners.

Posted by: Claire at May 20, 2007 2:27 PM

Spelling does not make a person .
Its whats inside.
I did not no that incorrect spelling changes me and makes me into a lesser person.
Me i look for what the person has writen.If it feel it comes from the heart a smile there eyes.
No wonder i am still single and looking.
All i had to do was go back and go out with my english teacher. :)

Posted by: Aiden at May 19, 2007 11:16 PM

Spelling does not make a person .
Its whats inside.
I did not no that incorrect spelling changes me and makes me into a lesser person.
Me i look for what the person has writen.If it feel it comes from the heart a smile there eyes.
No wonder i am still single and looking.
All i had to do was go back and go out with my english teacher. :)

Posted by: Aiden at May 19, 2007 10:58 PM

Dear Sally,
I guess not only English speaking people want to find their love, life partner, or just friends on RSVP! So do not judge people from foreign country-they may have a bigger heart that you all!

Posted by: passing by at May 19, 2007 10:26 PM

as long as the profile is legible. it dont bother me.
id hate to think the only reason ive been single for 3 years is because i dont have top spelling and grammer.

Posted by: lauren at May 19, 2007 10:07 PM

I don't contact people who can't spell or punctuate!

I received an email once which was all in lower case, had spelling mistakes and No punctuation. I could barely interpret the content of the email.

Put some thought in to your emails and use spell check guys!

First impressions count.

Posted by: Sally at May 19, 2007 6:42 PM

Off COURSE it matters to have correct spelling. You only have one chance for a first impression. At the very least it shows you can use a dictionary, (or spell checker for the lazy ones.) Good luck all

Posted by: Graham at May 18, 2007 10:28 PM

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe in 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the
olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the
wrod
as a wlohe. Azanmig huh ? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

I was impressed by this email I received today, and think it sums up well how what is said is more important than the spelling or grammar. At least I'm trying to convince myself that is so.

By the way, Karen, couldn't photo's be technically correct, if an apostrophe denotes missing letter/s? Surely photographs is the full word? I wouldn't use an apostrophe in that instance but.......

Posted by: TishB at May 18, 2007 9:57 PM

It drives me insane when I read a message that has not had any thought put into it. I am ok with txt talk, but when someone doesn't know how to spell simple words and punctuate correctly it is very frustrating. How hard is it? It shows me that they are not well educated and puts me off someone who could have otherwise been a really cool person.

Posted by: Simon at May 18, 2007 8:15 PM

OF COURSE IT'S IMPORTANT IF A MAN KNOWS HOW TO SPELL! JUST AS IMPORTANT AS IT IS FOR A WOMEN. THERE IS NO EXCUSE REALLY AS IT DOES SHOW YOUR LEVEL OF EDUCATION ( THE ONLY REASON FOR NOT USING CORRECT SPELLING WOULD BE DYSLEXIA) WHEN I READ PROFILES I DO LOOK AT SPELLING

Posted by: SONN at May 18, 2007 4:24 PM

Interesting subject! I must admit after years of proofreading on a newspaper I am incredibly aware of incorrect spelling. I have lost count at the number of chemists who advertise "photo's developed here", fruit shops which advertise "mango's", fish & chip's (no, the fruit shops don't advertise fish and chips lol). The list goes on. Regarding RSVP profiles I also agree that people should use the spell checker however, we may then argue that the profile is a facade given that the person's true colours are hidden. My main concern is the way in which a person who cannot spell speaks in the same way!! There is someone for everyone in this wide world - some care about these issues whilst others don't. (What about the men who post a picture of themselves in stubbies and thongs!!?? Lmao)

Posted by: Karen at May 17, 2007 8:47 PM

Hey, I'm a Dyslexic who has trouble spelling. I take the time to use a spell checker because I want to present the best profile I can. If I can pick up a spelling mistake in someones profile it has to be a pretty obvious one... next please!
txt in moderation is OK

Posted by: Tony at May 17, 2007 4:29 PM

"Does it matter if your date can spell?" ... erm I think you mean "Does it matter if your date can't spell?"

Posted by: Kransky at May 16, 2007 11:39 PM

All this really comes down to personal tolerance of people,speach/spelling and vocabulary. If someone cannot spell, it means they do have a problem and it will put a lot of folk off. But it makes it quicker for us who like to be more correct, depending on our own level of education. I do believe one can even hold their parents to blame as English is the main language here. I have a great friend who cannot spell, but that is not my problem, and up to him to fix it if he so wishes.
I worked for a Surgeon for many years and his spelling and writing was awful. As for applicants who wanted a job !!! We often had over 40 at a time, and that was hard work every time. Everyone had to have a reply, even if they were not interviewed. I felt very sorry for them; but we also have many Nationalities here. In the past I have spoken several languages.Just be kind...you never know who you are talking to. Many men hate typewriters! Look beyond their problems unless they are obviously not your type. Not difficult!

Posted by: melody10 at May 16, 2007 11:08 PM

I don't care for the spelling debate because I can be a shocker sometimes much but I tell ya what, THOSE PEOPLE THAT SEEM TO HAVE HIT THE "CAPS LOCK" AND NOT NOTICED ARE PRETTY DAMN SCAREY...WHY ARE THEY YELLING AT ME?!!

Posted by: gill at May 16, 2007 10:01 PM

I am really put off by bad spelling. I often think I would like to send a message and tell them about it.
Do not add a spell checker thanks.
Bad spelling is an indicator of education and personality.

Posted by: Dennis at May 16, 2007 4:04 PM

Spell checker for those who are spell-challenged?

What next?

Photo-touch up for those glam-challenged?

Thanks for asking, but keep it real please

Posted by: Julie at May 16, 2007 10:42 AM

Good spelling and grammar is important to me. If basic words are not spelled correctly, i usually don't send a kiss.

Posted by: Bec at May 15, 2007 9:50 PM

The odd typo is not a problem, but I think that a profile is a presentation of one's self so a little more care should often be taken. I have dismissed many kisses due to the person's terrible spelling and grammar - example: "I like to cock ... If u wona no more"??? I can understand what the person was trying to say but I had to look at it twice.

I also find it difficult if someone types their entire profile in block letters, I feel like I am being yelled at.

SMS style abbreviations are only appropriate in SMS communication, sometimes in a more personal email, or if what you have to say exceeds the character limit allowed.

Posted by: Ali at May 15, 2007 6:02 PM

How well do you want someone to understand ? txt shrtcut and possibly have your message misunderstood. Correct use of the english language should be used when you wish to be understood. Oherwise, the effort put in is the effort received.

Posted by: shane at May 15, 2007 10:37 AM

There are some exceptions that can be made for bad spelling, I would prefer that the profile was proofread originally to stop it from happening but everyone makes mistakes. I think it also depends on what you're looking for/need in a partner. To some people, spelling is not important. To me communication is important so if I can see that an honest spelling mistake may've been made but overall the person can communicate, it's no big deal. However, there are some spelling mistakes are that are honestly attrocious! For example I once spoke to a man who used to saw "chow" at the end of every conversation! If you're going to use a word from another language, make sure you know how to spell it!

Posted by: Tash at May 15, 2007 8:58 AM

I certainly do not like to answer a profile that has shocking English, but am more aware that shorthand is very in these days. There is a huge difference between not being able to spell and shortening words. But we do need to remember that some people are not Australian have English is only a second language. While I personally am not looking for someone who is not my equal in the English language, that does not mean other women care at all.

Posted by: NikkiW at May 14, 2007 11:21 PM

Spelling is important, but it isn't everything. I often wondered how people put up profiles with so many mistakes, and then I updated my profile after a few wines.....big mistake.

Posted by: Daise at May 14, 2007 8:38 PM

There are some criteria that are not negotiable, good manners, common courtesy and honesty to name a few. Please people,spelling and grammar are low priority come on now!

Posted by: jason at May 14, 2007 4:23 PM

Wow this has been stimulating and pretty darn hilarious. Thanks folks. Some people should possibly think about pulling the stick out of their you know where and loosen up a little. You got it Lisa,May 12 it takes all types to run this big bad world, wouldn't want it any other way.

Posted by: Maryanne at May 14, 2007 1:47 PM

Had a fantastic relationship not so long back, with a woman who had more wisdom, courage and intuition than most of my ex's put together. It wasn't until well into the relationship, that I discovered her written english was pretty hopeless. Lets be real here, how many cute little love notes will we be exchanging after the 'getting to know you period' on RSVP. I would also add, that this lady, would be far more likely to reply to a kiss, than most of the so called 'miss fabulous's Ive encountered here, who wouldn't even trouble themseleves to reply to an email...anyway, have a new girlfriend now, and don't yet feel the need to organise a spelling test just yet

Posted by: Greg at May 13, 2007 12:51 PM

Jason...sometimes it is the little things that you convince yourself you can overlook in a person when you are in the early stages of lust which become a huge problem and grate on your nerves so much as time goes by!

I have to disagree Shell.
I think search restrictions by understanding what sort of a person you are looking for leads to happiness. If you take time to know yourself and identified your likes, dislikes, needs, wants hopes and dreams and discover what sort of person you are then you will have a good idea of the perfect match for you.
Rejecting people because you understand that they can never be compatible with your ideals is sensible, not judgemental.
The old saying "Marry in haste, repent at leisure" is so true if you choose someone for looks or money or some other reason when the basic compatibility is not present.

Women in particular still believe that they can change a man once they are in a relationship. No you can't, and no, you shouldn't attempt to do so!

Posted by: patience at May 13, 2007 11:42 AM

Who are these fools?
Do the people saying it doesn't matter about spelling and grammer have no criteria?
The 'Ideal Partner' section of their profile is blank?

Age matters doesn't it?
Weight? Interests? Smoking vs non-smoking? Chardonnay or Victoria Bitter?
But apparently, education and intellect don't come into it?

Teeth or no teeth, it really makes no difference to who the person is yet most people have a preference for people with teeth.
How shallow and judgemental is that!

So come on jason, Shnugglie and all the others who say it doesn't matter...go back and edit your profiles to ensure no- one is excluded. That 60 year old 250kg one eyed transexual might turn out to be your soulmate but you'll never know if your only searching for slim to average women under 40.

And women have such narrow requirements too!
I'm an 80 year old man with overpowering body odour, a lecherous disposition and erectile difficulties yet none of the 20 year old women will even give me a chance!
I can spell OK but they all want someone who likes the beach and going clubbing - neither of which interest me.

Posted by: lurker again (Not RSVP name) at May 13, 2007 4:23 AM

Interesting topic! I too find spelling errors a little annoying, but not nearly as frustrating as text talk. Don't get me wrong, text has it's place...and it's place is in text... not emails or profiles.

However, in my 41 years on this planet, I have met many people that have turned out to be complete [DELETED] and their spelling usually didn't come into the equation.

Perhaps we should judge a person by how they treat us, perhaps we should not judge at all. The less restrictions we put on our happiness, surely the happier we will be.

Posted by: Shell at May 12, 2007 8:41 PM

Good grammar doesn't mean it is a good person. Spelling makes it easier to read. I and a Draftsman by trade and we are famous for getting the spelling wrong on drawings, But that doesn't mean anything.

Funny comment by the way Saalve

Posted by: John at May 12, 2007 6:42 PM

The world is bigger than a spelling mistake or two! It's nice to read a profile that shows the person has gone to the effort of proofing it but it's sad to see how many posts above are from authors that suggest that it's a defining feature or that it tells the education level of a person. I have a degree and am a terrible speller if unchecked. There are some pretty impressive people in this world that don't have strength in spelling and grammar. Bring on the spell checker! And loosen up a bit you shallow people.

Posted by: Lisa at May 12, 2007 4:00 PM

What a laugh, this reminds me of that Seinfeld episode in which Elaine dumps a guy for not using an exclamation mark in a message. Seriously though if you're put off someone by their spelling/grammar errors then you are going to stay lonely for a long time! In the big picture of life it doesn't really matter, does it?

Posted by: jason at May 12, 2007 1:29 PM

Yes poor spelling and grammar as far as I'm concerned is indicative of a low educational level and / or just too lazy to care what impression is made.

Posted by: Avi8er at May 12, 2007 6:05 AM

Shnugglie at 5:45 PM misses the point by saying "You could be giving up the one perfect person in your life because they spell badly".
Huh? How can someone who spells badly or otherwise mangles the language be 'perfect' for you if you are looking for an equal?
However Shnugglie does, probably unintentionally, demonstrate a different important point about the profiles.
Shnugglie appears to have judged the opinions of many of the writers on this blog and finds them laughable ("I laugh at all of you, ha ha ha".) yet claims also "I personally like to meet the person...(snip)...before I judge them".
Spelling/language/grammar skills are only one useful indicator, content is even more important.

Posted by: lurker again (Not RSVP name) at May 11, 2007 9:49 PM

It's disturbing when I read that any man is seeking to find his perfect 'women'. Further, although it's doubtful that many meet their soulmates on such sites, I think that most of us aspire to find one - somewhere, somehow, sometime. If I found a bloke that I wanted to raise children with then his being able to utter a coherent sentence would be a mandatory requirement; many of the educational problems are caused by the poor modelling of language use in the formative years for these children. How could we hope for our children to write properly if we don't model correct sentence structure when we speak to them? I don't expect good language skills in lieu of kindness, morality etcetera, but rather, in addition to such qualities.

Posted by: Austen5 at May 11, 2007 7:12 PM

I gree, pelling is very important. How can u rite a dove letter if you cant bell!

Posted by: Saalve at May 11, 2007 2:28 PM

To me correct grammar IS iprotent (oops, i mean important). It shows a person's education level or at the very least how often they read or write. I would not send a kiss to someone if their profile has bad grammar. There is NO excuse - that's what a dictionary is for.

Posted by: saphirexx at May 10, 2007 10:13 PM

We've been reviewing the need for spelling as part of this class. It is critical!

Posted by: macquarie at May 10, 2007 8:06 PM

Well her goes people. I have dyslexia i find it very hard to spell and grammar well i wont go there. So a lot of you think i must be dumb or uneducatied.if you are going to judge me without even knowing me your not the kind of people i would want to meet. You should try getting out of your box. As for being able to communacate you dont need to be able to spell to do that what are you going to do write letters to you parnter instead of talking to them? Please the world can do without judgemental people like you grow up.

P.S. At the moment im doing a diploma in commuinty welfare at tafe they do have student surpport there and they still think your worth while knowing even if you cant spell real good and your grammar is up to sh---. Thats what they do help people like me.

Posted by: Delice at May 10, 2007 7:42 PM

I think it's really important for someone to be able to spell. It demonstrates that they are a little bit more articulate than most and that they actually take the time to ensure that what they write is accurate. It also shows a little intelligence and this is really important if that's what someone is looking for.

Posted by: nottooprosaic at May 10, 2007 6:56 PM

lots of opinions on this oneand like it or not we are being judgemental reading a profile..thats not a critisism! if someone cant spell or writes in txt language they are appearing to be lazy or trying to be cool..and thats just an opinion..A women once said to me "other people opinions are none of my business"

Posted by: stuart at May 10, 2007 6:34 PM

Here is an idea. When you meet somone for the first time, pull out a pen and paper and tell them to write a short story. Once done, read it, then judge them to see if they are worthy enough for a conversation.

Posted by: Shnugglie at May 10, 2007 5:51 PM

You people friggen serious? You could be giving up the one perfect person in your life because they spell badly? No wonder so many people are having a hard time on here. I personally like to meet the person, have a chat and find out first hand what they are like before I judge them. I have used the internet for years (web chat, multiplayer games etc) and I don't come across many people that can spell well, let alone have good grammer. Here is an idea. When you meet somone for the first time, pull out a pen and paper and tell them to write a short story. Once done, read it, then judge them to see if they are worthy enough for a conversation. "I laugh at all of you, ha ha ha".

Posted by: Shnugglie at May 10, 2007 5:45 PM

I think it's ok if to use txt talk when you're chatting on IM or msn, but if you use it anywhere else, especially in big chunks, like in your profile, it's just too difficult to read and it's frustrating.

Posted by: Missy at May 10, 2007 12:54 PM

lack of correct spelling and grammer definately indicates either lack of education or maybe just plain laziness. spellcheck should not be an option, because it then shows whom we are looking at, so to speak.

Posted by: anne at May 10, 2007 9:19 AM

"WoW" is not a big word Trev......oh, hang on, perhaps that was not the word you meant? If you had been able to punctuate your paragraph properly then perhaps I could comprehend the meaning of what you have typed.
I do however agree about the k in nee...and what about those absolute
ba%#ards who put the "S" in lisp.....

Posted by: patience at May 9, 2007 9:13 PM

Poor spelling indicates either a lack of education/intelligence or just plain laziness, as in this day of spell check there is NO excuse for a poorly written profile. If someone can't even be bothered writing an email or profile and checking it for spelling errors, they are careless by nature and obviously not out to sincerely impress someone with a first impression.

Posted by: Miss Bliss at May 9, 2007 7:49 PM

Jargon! Perhaps, who cares as long as the moron you’re communicating
With knows the meaning of what they are trying to type. AS for the genius who thought knee needed the k I ask, WHY?
Yes I do use cpu slang but you guys pay people like me to fix your cpu's and networks. The amount of times I have read a profile that misspells prerogative. Most of you seem a little pretentious,
Big word "wow", yes I married into so called upper class (never met so many libertine's) going lower for sure. Comprehension over grammar any day, that's only my opinion. Cheers.

Posted by: Trev at May 9, 2007 1:56 AM

If the ability to spell properly is unrelated to intelligence, education or intellect, as many people are claiming in this blog, where does it come from?
Even to suggest that there is not necessarily a connection between spelling well and education or intellectual capacity is deluded.
It's not an inborn trait people! It's learned, or not learned. The correlation between learning capacity and intelligence is direct.
Memory is involved too but spelling well would be a unique cerebral achievement if there were no correlation to intelligence or education.

It seems self evident that skilful use of any tool is an indicator of the training in the use of that tool that someone has had, combined with their intellectual capacity to receive and retain the information.

Language is just a communication tool so limited language skills, any of them, will affect your ability to communicate.
Your ability to express what you really think, feel or believe and your capacity to say what you really mean and mean what you say.

I doubt there's much, if any, correlation between emotional intelligence and dazzling intellectual capacity though. cheers!

Posted by: lurker again (Not RSVP name) at May 8, 2007 1:04 AM

And then they could buy the shirt:http://www.onehorseshy.com/highbrow/bad_grammar_makes_me_sic/

Posted by: Jenny at May 7, 2007 11:17 PM

I just read through all of the posts... and now I'm feeling pretty fatigued. I didn't realise there were so many entries to this blog or that so many entries, in a blog about spelling, would mangle the language so thoroughly.
This blog could probably be used to torture English teachers, if there was any additional need to do so.

Posted by: lurker (Not RSVP name) at May 7, 2007 6:39 PM

Spelling and grammar give an indication of how much care someone has put into their profile. Like a bad photo, it can really put you off. You only have the one chance to make a good impression, so why not put some effort into it?

Posted by: Lori at May 7, 2007 3:39 PM

Yep- the spelling, vocab, syntax and humour get me in and so I send a kiss. I think what I'm learning pretty rapidly though is that "thanks, but I recently started seeing/communicating with another person" is a polite way of saying "no thanks". I suppose that's better than no reply at all and it hones my skill at reading between the lines of profiles.

Posted by: Jennifer at May 6, 2007 11:52 PM

Excellent Point!!!
If someone states that they have a degree they should be able to at least spell shouldn't they!?!?

Posted by: Maria at May 6, 2007 10:30 PM

Too right. Spelling and punctuation are a fairly good sign of education. If you want an equal search for the same.

Posted by: TalkandTouch at May 6, 2007 5:09 PM

Interesting,though i don't think its very important for 1 reason..
1,its 100% rehearsed!
I look for people who put effort to putting there personality into there profile.
As for education! any typing program can teach ANYONE how to type correctly.I do like a profile that is concise.
and yes me thinks my gramerz GREAT! she makes scones and t! ha ;o)

Posted by: trev at May 6, 2007 4:50 PM

I can see why so many of you are single. You might be able to spell and punctuate your profile properly but I wouldn't bother reading it. Have a listen to Annie7-OMG "...The successful applicant is selected on their conduct and presentation.
The same principles apply to dating..."
I hope you grow old lonely searching for spelling mistakes in the newspapers...or by the sounds of it you (and others) already have.

Posted by: Dave at May 6, 2007 2:58 PM

Jules:
Excellent point and one I wish people would comment on in this blog.
I agree 100% with you with regard to exploring the vocabulary in one's profile. I love reading profiles written by men that, even including a typo or two, are cleverly written and humorous. I will send a kiss to the owner of any profile that really captures my attention even if he does not have a photo visible. Evidence of intelligent personality through written expression is highly attractive, and for me plays the major positive role in determining that person's desirability. I don't use the misspelling of words in someone?s profile as criteria in the measurement of desirability.

Posted by: QuietlyDream at May 4, 2007 12:45 AM

A couple of most applicable kiss reply options would be: "So-and-so thanks you for your kiss and would like to refer you to the reading/writing hotline" or "So-and-so thanks you for your kiss and would like to remind you to neva bee two afrayd 2 yews the spelechequer"

Posted by: monteray at May 3, 2007 10:31 PM

Sure spelling is important, but I'm more interested in vocabulary. For example the word nice is to easy, I prefer magnificent, exquisite, superb etc. I'm willing to forgive a couple of mistakes if one is prepared to explore the language.

Although if you believe the the plural of the word you is youse, then there may be some issues.

Posted by: jules at May 3, 2007 2:33 PM

As much as I know poor grammar or spelling is not an indication of intelligence (could be language barrier, poor education, dyslexic, etc) - with my love of words, it definitely makes me hesitant.

Wont stop me viewing a profile but would need to see some strong similarities to pursue anything. What is more offputting is a lack of words - a picture often doesn't reveal much personality, words can (however badly spelt).

Posted by: Pam at May 3, 2007 1:10 PM

Your spelling and grammar tells me about your personality and the amount of attention you pay to detail, whether you read or not and how educated you are. Shallow? If you say so, but so are all those who put "no children" for their potential partners, or height requirements.
Each to their own. For me, good spelling skills are a huge turn-on.

Posted by: Catten at May 2, 2007 11:46 PM

Communication is such a huge part of the initial attraction for me and generally the relationship as a whole. And since this is basically a read only website, with the exception of afew pictures, the text is really all we have to go by when considering a profile as a potential date etc. Since good articulation, a nicely sized vocabulary and good grammar are high on my wanted list (which is mentioned in my ideal partner), its just about imperative that a 'kisser' notices this and posesses such traits themselves. Not to be all new age, but would all the fellow geminis out there agree?? :)

Posted by: Amelia (greengirl13) at May 2, 2007 3:58 PM

I met a lovely bloke about 10 months ago who was an excellent speller however, occasionally he would make a blunder which I (more than happily) would pick him up on. It was a flaw in an otherwise almost semi-perfect character that attracted me to him in the first place!!!! That and his 'prickly' personality that kept me on my toes and my mind sharp....alas he has fallen by the wayside (his own doing)....
I enjoy reading well written and articulated profiles and I laugh hard when I read some shockers that have not even put any thought behind the words they have written...good entertainment value..

Posted by: everthefragrantrose at May 2, 2007 3:04 PM

I would simply like to add that sometimes communication can/should be informal and fun. So everyone have a great day and try to make sure that your message gets through! (note to self I had better spell check this before I am deemed "stupid".. judge a man by his deeds not by his apostrophe's). tony

Posted by: Blinky2025 at May 1, 2007 12:47 PM

I have just read this whole blog *phew* it was exhausting and grim.

However on a much lighter note I would like to say I am giving the following comment my no.1 vote in the laugh out loud category for being the most entertaining. Great sense of humour timewarp1 (from april 15), thanks very much for this.....

As for WOMEN (Yes vera - not "ladies". Hey - what red-blooded man really wants one of THEM as his bedmate?) whose profiles are scanty, simplistic or cliche-laden, or are looking for "a kind jenlman to take care of me and sit with me all day and look at the sea" - I guess they'd bore me slack, 15 minutes into our first coffee date.........

Ha ha, can someone please show me the female profiles that read like that i.e. addressed to the 'kind jenlmen' ???

I suspect there aren't any

Posted by: QuietlyDream at April 30, 2007 11:31 PM

Spelling and grammar are very important to me. If someone is unable to use a spell checker or dictionary, then I would pass over their profile. I understand that a lot of people don't know where to place an apostrophe... however, I'd be more likely to take seriously a profile that does have correct apostrophe placement. I can overlook the occasional typo.... as long as it is occasional.
As for SMS text and abbreviations... they're fine on a phone but not on a profile (unless you're a teenager and are trying to attract a teenager. Of course, if you are a more mature person trying to make contact with a teenager....ewwww!)
Microsoft Word has a spell checker. Let people use their iniative and use that. I don't think RSVP should add a spell checker.

Posted by: DiP at April 30, 2007 10:12 PM

I am a 60 year old. I can spell most of the words ok "but" Most of us, did not get much schooling.At ten years old i had to work on a fram, and then walk 5 miles to school and then leave school at1-30 to be home to milk the cows.
It makes me mad when people like most of you get everything and still its not enough.

Posted by: BAREFOOT407 at April 30, 2007 9:35 PM

I would like to comment on the on this spelling debate.
I am 60 years young and i carn't spell to good.I have bough up my 5 children to read and write. i had to start work at a early are help keep food on the table and i would do it again. you young people would not know what to do as its a dog eat dog age now and when someone like comes along you trod on us.

Posted by: BAREFOOT407 at April 30, 2007 8:50 PM

Holly, I think you can conclude that a person isn't well educated using poor spelling etc as an indicator. They may have a qualification, but they are still not well educated.

Ray, I think you are being too harsh on the poorly educated. If they have not received the education to enable them to spell and write well, then they will be unaware of the problem. So I don't think you can measure self respect in this way.
The profile non-writers are another category and very frustrating!

Posted by: patience at April 30, 2007 11:51 AM

Poor spelling or grammar are a major turn-off for me. It's like turning up to meet someone for the first time with food stuck between their teeth. If they are serious about meeting me and want something further to develop then I would expect that they'd want to look their best and give a good first impression. If they don't have enough self respect to try their best then they are not for me. This includes spelling, grammar and especially the content of the profile. If they don't put any effort into giving a good description of themselves they can't expect me to put in any further effort into meeting them. If they have a learning disability or make a typo that's different. No-one is perfect, but I think everyone should try to present themselves as well as they can, because if they can't be bothered, then why should I bother with them at all? Poor spelling and grammar are valuable indicators that a person doesn't care about the way they present themselves and they only want to attract someone who doesn't care either. Well, ladies that doesn't include me. That kind of attitude would probably be evident in many aspects of their lives as well. It doesn't make them a bad person. It makes them unattractive to me.

Posted by: Ray at April 30, 2007 10:13 AM

I don't mind if someone is obviously using sms style spelling / grammar in their profile. It's when they're not, and there's obvious things like spelling mistake and run on sentences that I struggle.

I don't like to draw instance conclusions on people by how they can spell / type. But like some people have already said here, if they haven't taken the time to use the spell and grammar checker built into word, then is that really someone I want to be with anyway? It's one that I pull my hair out over almost everyday. I don't believe you can conclude that someone isn't well educated if they have made spelling and/or grammar mistakes. There are many people out there who struggle at both who have degrees and/or are in professional roles.

So I guess I'm riding the fence on this one!

Holly

Posted by: Holly at April 28, 2007 9:25 PM

That's right Sarah sometimes I haven't any...hence the family bestowed Patience on me as a joke.
Did you mean the medical/health/care professions or medical/healthcare professions?
If you had read and comprehended my comments you would have noticed that I said "would you like to be under etc" Not the medical profession can't spell....but now that you have mentioned it, there are many in the medical profession who can't spell, and the reason why they can't spell is because most don't speak or read much English...staff are being imported from overseas with very limited qualifications and almost non existent English to cut costs and fill in for the lack of locally trained peole and let loose in the wards including Intensive care.
Your comment "spell well enough" says it all really...sort of slapdash attitude.

How a person treats you and relates to you will of course matter in the long run, but on an internet dating site(or anywhere else really) initial attraction to looks is the main thing.

Posted by: patience at April 28, 2007 10:35 AM

Oh dear patience - it appears you haven't any.
As for doctors and nurses not being able to spell, well it would seem to me that you must have perfect health and never had the need to seek medical attention. Only someone in such a situation would make such a comment. Most of us in the medical health/care professions can spell well enough for our patients (yes clever play on words there) not to have to fear imminent death from our pitifully poor understanding of spelling and phonetics!
When it comes to dating people whose spelling isn't perfect - along with their 'looks' I couldn't care less how they spell, its how that person treats and relates to me which is going to make them attractive to me or not.

[Ed: NB, abridged]

Posted by: Sarah at April 28, 2007 12:32 AM

I don't care if she cant spell as long as she puts effort into her profile.

Posted by: VSOP at April 27, 2007 8:21 PM

mygalFriday..I feel quite depressed reading your comment.(and others)Once a University education meant a person had achieved certain academic standards(and could therefore pass them on) It is very sad that todays Graduates are not academically sound at all and have received a limited classical education.They may be intelligent enough(by todays standards) but are not well educated at the end of their years of study in the traditional sense.

People who don't attend University can be far more academically educated and intelligent.
Stupid ideas about teaching methods to do with reading and spelling and other basics were brought in around the early 80's and have been the cause of the current lack of basic ability and proficiency in English the language of this country.
There are now moves to rectify this long term damage. Problem is that those teaching now have been through the new system at school and are uneducated themselves.
The dumbing down of Australia is a disgrace and has left us not only the laughing stock of the world but in a tenuous and weakened position.
Spelling and reading are important. egWould you like to be under the care of a doctor or nurse who could not spell and had to choose between different drugs which sounded similar but were spelled differently...a few letters wrong could kill you!

I love words and it saddens me to see them rapidly disappearing to texting and other Rap/ American influenced assaults. Of course over time the English language changes ---who can read Chaucer or even Shakespeare easily? But the current change is too rapid....I for one don't like the idea of conversing and writing like a robot....

Posted by: patience at April 27, 2007 12:53 PM

Just as another perspective - Im actually looking for someone who makes the odd mistake. Im looking for someone easy going. More an office worker type as opposed to a corporate suit. I would skip anyone who uses SMS shorthand as to me it simply means they havent made much of an effort to think about what they are trying to say. The odd mistake is fine. Lots are not.

Posted by: Angus1971 at April 27, 2007 8:18 AM

Here's a double whammy.Opening line on a profile "Do you like your eggs soft'hard belled or fertilized!!!........Yuk,puk,yuk

Posted by: sue at April 26, 2007 9:58 PM

Considering I can't spell to save myself my grammer is plain bad it would be pretty shallow of me to object to a potential partner on the basis that they spell poorly, but I am offened by comments that people who spell poorly are poorly educated I myself went to Uni and graduated with my Bacherlors degree and I now am undertaking post grad study don;t always judge a book by it cover just because I can't spell well does not mean I am not well read.

Posted by: mygalfriday at April 26, 2007 8:12 PM

it is fine if people want to talk in sms style, but when they aren't and can't even spell the simplest word, that is a worry and a turn off.

Posted by: Jube at April 26, 2007 4:11 PM

For god's sake get with the programme...if the profile has bad spelling and does not suit you ..move on...if like me you use txt gr8 saves time..so u can c ..the communication is still there..it is about matching up people ..if u don't like don't have agggggh!!!!

Posted by: GVSM at April 25, 2007 8:46 PM

I have to say that a well written profile, free from spelling and grammatical errors and perhaps with a bit of literary flair, is always going to catch my eye.

Having said that though, if someone mixed up a few homonyms or screwed up some spelling here and there, it's easy enough to overlook. I mean, we're all flawed in our own special ways, and how often do you have to deal with a partner in the written form anyway?

Someone started playing the "learning disabilities" violin a bit earlier - well, although dyslexics make up 10% of the population (4% severely) this condition is manageable with appropriate strategies put in place. So really, it's not an excuse.

And as plenty of people have mentioned already - we live in the glorious *cough* Age of the Spellchecker, so popping up a profile littered with spelling errors is more an indication of apathy than lack of intelligence.

Posted by: goatherder at April 25, 2007 6:58 PM

To check your spelling/grammar, cut and paste from Microsoft Word or another word processor. Or install the Google task bar in your browser, as it has a built in spell checker! I have only one request please don't use SMS language shortening, there is a full keyboard on a computer use it!

Posted by: Dane at April 25, 2007 3:57 PM

Best reading in a long time!!!!Lots of laughs as well.Lets not forget that over 90% of communication IS non-verbal and that is the aim -communication NOT extermination of the opposite sex(remember guys and girls make love not war).Love your thoughts on the matter Timewarp1.And Rachael a guy dosen't need to know how to spell or write to have a conversation either>My last question goes to Bill who proposes judging "us" on the size of our backsides-then pray tell Bill should us females judge you males on.......Hmmmmm I wonder? Seriously though I am very conscious of the $$$$ cost of stamps so if someone does kiss me and I cannot justify either contacting them or vice versa based on reasonable interest I will not.

Posted by: sue at April 24, 2007 7:05 PM

Well, given my line of employment I find myself constantly looking at the way people spell. If you are taking the time to put a profile on RSVP then you should take the time to do it so it is appealing to others and that includes correct spelling. Some would say not a big issue, but it is an issue to someone who is looking for an equal. If someone contacts me who uses "text" like wording in their profile it becomes an instant turnoff... Get real and do it right.

Posted by: Ally at April 24, 2007 4:08 PM

Its interesting to see some peoples views on this and how anal people can be about the smallest grammar mistake. I guess it's what's important to them and I respect that, perhaps it's their own strength so they give it greater weighting to it's connection to intelligence. I can spell and my grammar is ok, but I am not perfect and I give others *some* room for the same. I am a numbers man, I work in a highly technical environment and was part of the design of the first 3G base stations amonst a few. I own and run a technical company being one of the only people in the country with indepth experience in my field. It would be laughable to me if someone decided I was not intelligent if I wrote 'alot' instead of 'a lot'. I cant say I would be overly impressed with someone who believes that intelligence is linked to spelling alone. Perhaps I am lazy, my work has never demanded such accuracy and I choose to be anal in other areas. That said, a handful of obvious mistakes and the basics etc is of course saying something, and god help the txt spk!

Posted by: Pete at April 24, 2007 1:18 AM

I am a really bad speller my self, I did not to well at school.

When righting a letter I do use spell check and try and use correct punctuation.
With something like messenger there are no tools like spell check, so a lot of the time it comes out the way it sounds.

I consider my self very loving, honest and reliable.
I don’t think my spelling should reflect the type of person I am.

There are a lot of things I can do better than the average person.
I am always being asked to reprogram a computer or asked how to do something.
I have always been good at calculations and working with my hands.

I think people should have an open mined and not look at what people are lacking but look at them for there quality.

Posted by: Dave at April 24, 2007 12:17 AM

When I am looking for a guy on rsvp I dont go further if they are not able to spell. It does show the person doesnt take the time or effort.Put it this way, theyd check if they were going for a job-resume yet this is their chance to show the world they care enough and dont check, so I say NEXT

Posted by: agoodfriend1 at April 23, 2007 10:01 PM

The person must be able to spell. Profiles look poor if they have bad spelling.

Posted by: Tannie at April 23, 2007 11:51 AM

I'm appalled at the insensitivity displayed in this blog. How many of you have struggled with a learning disability that prevents you from reading, writing, speaking, or doing calculations? Dyslexia affects literacy skills because of different neurological programming, so consider that some of the people here may be suffering from it. It doesn't make them any less educated than you or I. A learning disability is a label that describes a person learning differently. Like a person in a wheelchair uses it for mobility, a dyslexic uses a dictionary, thesaurus or voice recognition software to assist them with language.

Look beyond the 'flaws' and need for perfection and see the person for what they have to offer. If that doesn't work for you then be polite and say that they aren't suited to you. Being honest is better than stringing someone along.

Posted by: CharliesAngel65 at April 22, 2007 8:31 PM

If you can't spell very well, or use text talk, that doesn't bother me in the slightest. When it *does* bother me is when you claim to be 'aeticulate' after having just stated that you are 'matuer' and 'devastating charming'.

Proof reading can go a long way ... make sure what you say is backed up by how you say it.

(Sorry to the profile I picked on for this!)

Posted by: Loquacious at April 22, 2007 6:46 PM

I think the most important thing is, not how you spell it, but how you phrase it. There are many instances where the wrong meaning can be gotten from a sentance that is lacking in grammar, fullstops etc. How many of us have received a text message, from a friend, girl/boy friend and we have interpreted it the wrong way because of a lack of punctuation? I say, the actual spelling is not that important as there are 2 kinds of "smarts". Academically smart and street smart. Some people are lucky enough to have both, and both kinds can be wonderful people. I am lucky to be both, straight "A's" through school and savy in life, (well, I like to think so) and I judge a profile on what is written, not on how it is written. (was gonna to put some real huge words in ere, but couldnt spell em!)

Posted by: Ethset at April 22, 2007 1:28 PM

There have been numerous times I have been unable to even finish reading a profile because I could not understand what was being said due to the errors invoved but the worst would probably be the profile that was written totally in CAPITAL LETTERS-bit too full on !!

Posted by: sue at April 21, 2007 7:58 PM

For me, it is very important whether a man can spell and use correct grammar- it reflects education level, attention to detail, whether you want to look sophisticated and have flair or just plain averange and sloppy.

Posted by: Cass at April 21, 2007 6:20 PM

When I filled out my profile, it took me days of writing, proof reading, spell checking and re-writing. I wanted to get it right because I wanted to make a good impression on any one who took the time to read it. Also I didn't learn typing at school so my keyboard skills aren't 100%. I work in a managerial role in a customer service area and presentation is everything, so it's pretty much second nature to me now. I don't like text speak, I don't even use it in text messages, that's my choice. Many people who aren't keyboard literate really struggle to type anything legible so that doesn't bother me as much as people who don't fill out their profiles fully. For example when a man sends me a kiss and I'm reading his profile, when it gets to the 'Reading' section and he has put 'yes', and in the 'Movie' section, again he has put 'yes'. That just tells me he really isn't that interested, so why did he even bother??

Posted by: heartofgold1960 at April 21, 2007 4:11 PM

The odd mistake isn't so bad, if it's a typo and not ignorance. Ignorance, however, is a turn-off. There are lots of lovely people who aren't quite literate, and if one of them picks me up in a bar, I might just fall in love with him. But on rsvp writing is the initial medium for meeting -you might as well show that you can get it right. It's a bit like having a photo with the caption "terrible photo" - why bother?

And yes, I'd prefer you didn't give too much assistance such as a spell-checker. If someone can't spell at all I'd rather know up front that notice it on the wedding certificate! Ha-ha (and please, no LOL, I can't stand it).

Posted by: Jen at April 21, 2007 3:48 PM

Reading this blog has been like lifting a stone and seeing something dark, ugly and slithering moving insidiously.

Could it be your minds?

To answer the question, spell check is already available on most computers. Leave it as is.

I rejoice that some of the most brilliant minds the world has ever produced were not held back by their inability to spell.

We all have pet hates when it comes to spelling, but it should be kept in perspective. You cannot quantify intelligence by spelling ability. It is narrow minded to do so.

As to the presentation with capitals etc.......who cares? This is a changing world and the communication flows freely and is an evolving thing...the main thing is that communication occurs. It took me a while to drop the capital use in talking online, but inevitably it was the way to go. Being critical over spelling, grammar etc is a slowing drop process of the thought pattern and by the end of editing you have probably changed the original meaning of what you wished to convey.
Move with the times or the times will move past you!

Posted by: anita at April 21, 2007 10:18 AM

Often despite the best efforts to use long hand, spell correctly, use all the appropriate apostrophes and grammar, we are limited to the character count that we can place in many of the text boxes. Therefore even the smartest of us are sometimes forced to improvise and skip apostrophes or use the SMS style words just to get our full message in. Now i am not claiming I am the smartest, but one post stated that these such techniques were indicative of a low level of education.

Posted by: Daniel1981 at April 20, 2007 11:21 PM

It would be nice if they put photos next to these so I can form an opinion on who I agree with:)
Get over girls or I'll start judging you by the size of your backside.
Furthermore, I find its more important what you are trying to say than how you say it.

Posted by: Bill at April 20, 2007 9:52 PM

The ability to spell definitely shows an educated person or someone who is widely read. Knowing the difference between 'bought' and 'brought' and using these words correctly.

What's really scary is someone who not only pronounces 'anything' with a 'k' on the end, but spells it that way as well. Ugh, huge turn off.

Posted by: Cachinnate at April 20, 2007 9:29 PM

I think it a big turn off when they advertise for a Solemate, I know this is a bit of a fishing expedition but that was really going too far.

Posted by: Lu at April 20, 2007 5:28 PM

I think it should be a mixture of both.As a 48+ person on RSVP I can spell etc correctly but i also txt a lot ...so i can c that u r up with the times..but agree that the profile if written well makes a difference....I am looking for an equal and it gives me a better idea of that character..

Posted by: gvsm at April 20, 2007 10:05 AM

OMG How embarrasment! (hehe) In making my emphatic point about bad spelling making people look like uneducated losers and that they should use spell check - I managed to spell the word loser with 2 o's! eek!...Spell check doesn't pick up such things. Just goes to show that when you point the finger at someone else,
3 fingers are pointing back at you! Needless to say am v pleased this blogging is relatively anon... Humble pie is not yum by the way... 'Tis actually yuk. Note to self... Check check 'n' double check blog entries in future so as to avoid looking like an uneducated loser....

Posted by: Newsflash! - It's you're not your !!! at April 19, 2007 11:27 PM

Looks like that's a no to a spell checker for your profile! It would seem that it would remove a useful yardstick that a lot of people rely on, and it also stops people who want to use txt and abbrev. from expressing themselves freely.

Thanks for all your comments!

Posted by: RSVP (Ivan) at April 19, 2007 8:28 PM

Language is a living, breathing, constantly evolving (with the nation) construct that does not subscribe to neither lexicologists lexicons, nor professors protocols. Those are merely instantaneous records in it's evolution. Not *it's* authority!

Therefore, no, spelling, nor grammar is anywhere near as important as some people would like to make it. In particular in non-official environments such as personals, where individuality, and a care-free attitude would perhaps be more valued. Besides, abbreviations and nets-peak is actually correct and appropriate for the internet!

See incorporation of internet, sms texting in current curriculum's around the world.

Get with it, or get behind!

Posted by: satyr37 at April 19, 2007 6:28 PM

Spelling is an interesting way to assess a persons compatibility! I'm more annoyed by profiles with too little detail. Also should we have a section for spelling that we could mark ...anal..nice but not necessary.. mines O.K. but yours is not.... Who cares?

Posted by: Compgirl at April 19, 2007 2:49 PM

It does matter, but you can always use word to write it out then paste it into your profile

Posted by: John at April 19, 2007 10:35 AM

How shallow some people can be! Because you can spell simply means you can spell. I will put my money on it, that people who are good spellers are not good at something else in life. Does that make the good speller a lesser person? Every person I know has strong points and weak points. Look beyond whats in your face and discover the undiscovered.

Posted by: havingfuntoo at April 18, 2007 11:41 PM

Fascinating! Reading these blogs is more fun than reading profiles!

Posted by: TishB at April 18, 2007 9:57 PM

It is important, as it does give you an incite to how much pride they take in themselves and the way they present themselves to others. Texting is another thing entirely, you only have a small amount of space to write what you need to, so you have to shorten things. In saying all that too, there are other things that make a profile attractive to a person. It doesn't hurt to check your spelling before click submit.
Keep smiling :)

Posted by: Vonnie at April 18, 2007 9:32 PM

I agree with Mark, as do many. Grammer is very important function of this website. If you are trying to essentially 'sell yourself', then surely you can use the appropriate grammer.

If you are sales person, you don't point out the negatives in the product (or youself).

It can also show the effort a person is willing to put in, and even their intellectual ability.

Posted by: Luke at April 18, 2007 7:56 PM

Nein, es matterz nichts iff ze kleine leibchen kant shpell!
If she kann, zen shee kann help me mit meine profile!

Posted by: SOEZTOC at April 18, 2007 7:09 PM

I think it is important to have the correct spelling and punctuation in a profile. It does tell you a lot about the person. Noq I'm like paying extra attention to myself typing here....:S

Posted by: Renee at April 18, 2007 6:56 PM

Certainly matters if they can spell. If they are abbreviating all the time, it shows slackness in not taking the time to present oneself well. I HATE the expression "Lol"... it's off putting.. and overused...

Posted by: sparky123 at April 18, 2007 5:46 PM

We're all humans people... To live in a world of reliable perfection would be... dreadful!! Spelling mistakes are funny. Funny things make you laugh... laughing is good. There, all fixed.

Posted by: lucyinthesky08 at April 18, 2007 4:51 PM

Wow spelling on here!, text messaging has changed everything.How they spell is not an issue its who is behind the profile that counts,but never the less a profile that makes sense appeals to me very much....double check your grammar is good thing......goodluck to all ....lu

Posted by: lu at April 18, 2007 2:17 PM

And another thing. There are all sort of snobbishness. Personally would easily dismiss spelling mistakes of someone smart, kind and thoughtful as opposed to someone who would give themselves a handle with any mention of 'shaz' in it. After living in Europe for many years and having the beautiful Italian, French and Spanish allow me to murder their language and join in their lives, it would be churlish to 'flip off' someone because of their ability to use this convoluted, idiosyncratic language. How brave of me - didnt go for the spell checker.

Posted by: Beth at April 18, 2007 1:19 PM

just to add a little giggle to all this, anyone remember LIFE OF BRIAN? there he was writing anti roman slogans and along comes john cleese who`s very upset...about the latin spelling and gramma! another way to look at this if you were in a bank behind a counter and someone came up to the counter , handed you a note , would you grab a red pen do some corrections and hand it back to the person with the gun? do you look at the profiles photo before you check for any spelling mistakes?, hobbies, hieght,build,children,occupation,career level. come on guys relax..after all "WHAT HAVE THE ROMANS EVER DONE FOR US?" P.S. i`ve left the spelling and diction for those of you who like red pens...enjoy

Posted by: steve63a at April 18, 2007 11:45 AM

Boy, are there some hard markers out there. I write for a living have a mensa iq and spell atrociously (even had to double check that in the dictionary). Based on their theory they would not be dating Richard Branson (is that how you spell it). Give me a dyslec.. dyslex.. disly... dyslexic lionheart with a sense of humour anyday.

Posted by: Beth at April 18, 2007 10:42 AM

is this a standard or pretext, has our lives become so petty as to assume that spelling gives us any idea of the character of the people whose profiles we view. if this is your bench mark i`d be glad if you pass me over. i`m somewhat more simplistic in my approach...give me poor spelling but well read, a good heart, a goofy streak and an open mind.

Posted by: steve63a at April 18, 2007 10:23 AM

I must confess that I too get turned off by profiles which have more than one spelling mistake.....I have noticed particularly the word 'definitely' is a problem for a lot of people and, of all words, intelligence!
But to suggest that this is a good way to judge a person's intellect is inaccurate. It points to a person's level of EDUCATION which is quite distinct from intellect!

Posted by: Gabrielle at April 18, 2007 8:07 AM

As a dyslexic, who has English as his second language, correct syntax and spelling do not come easily to me. I make an effort using spell-checkers, a dictionary, feedback or any other method to show that I make an effort in communicating. I expect that anyone that I would be attracted to would make a similar effort.

Not being able to spell is not a crime, but sloth should be. I would find it difficult to be attracted to a criminal.

I admit that I do find someone with an educated, either formally or self taught, manner so much easier and pleasant to be with.

Having said all that Teresa, and various others, have made a good point about "academic imbeciles" and how many of them we come across in life.

What's right for one may be wrong for another so it's best we don't pass judgement on how and why people make their choices and simply wish them luck and move on.

Posted by: Cam at April 17, 2007 10:56 PM

I agree with each and every person who wrote that spelling matters. I don't necessarily agree it indicates a certain level of education. But someone who takes the time to write properly might be more inclined to take the time to date properly. RSVP, you can introduce the spell check function, but I am not convinced those lazy spellers will bother. These people *must* know they can't spell and should be sensible enough to comprehend what sort of a poor impression they are giving with their sloppy profiles. For some, it doesn't matter. For me, it does - so sue me! Poor grammar and spelling gets an an automatic "no thanks" response.

Posted by: GS at April 17, 2007 9:37 PM

It really does make a difference to me if the contact can use grammar/spell correctly. I get put off instantly if it's all over the place. However, saying that - a date who turns up barefoot.........ewwwwww!!!

Posted by: Shazshiraz at April 17, 2007 9:31 PM

Maybe people should be able to rate themselves and their prospective partner - from bogan to braniac!

Posted by: Marty at April 17, 2007 9:29 PM

I think you can learn so much by how people write; personally I'm a big fan of being able to spell, and having half-decent grammar is a bonus.

I know the written word certainly sways my decisions ...

Posted by: Bella at April 17, 2007 9:23 PM

Instant turn-off no.1: "greengrocers' apostrophes," e.g. "I like reading book's...I like going to the movie's...etc." Aaargh!

Second most common turn off: use of "to" instead of "too", e.g. "I don't like going out to much..."

I can't believe how common these two errors are - I find them pretty good indicators of intelligence or academic achievement level.

One final example: a very attractive-looking woman who says she believes in "chivallry" [sic]. Pity she can't actually spell it.

Posted by: Paul at April 17, 2007 9:21 PM

As for poor spelling and grammar - no one is perfect - BUT - there is no excuse for obvious mistakes. It's a sign of low intelligence and laziness; not poor education. I know people in universities who cannot read a ruler. So poor education is a falicy. Poor spelling and grammar, encourage the next generation to become tardier with their use of word and language. In time, the standards mutate into a bastardized version of what kids use today. You can blame America, in part, for a lot of this patterning; as they deliberately distort the english language to compete with the founder mother England. For example they mis-spell Mum, as Mom. Many english words are spelt phonetically in the USA.
Computers are the biggest tool creating non-literacy ever invented - as do pocket calculators and kids knowing their math tables. The USA invented the calculator as well.

The distorted reasoning I have observed amongst many today is - why use your brain to learn when a computer can do it for you. Life is so much easier when you don't have to think, because we can blame Microsoft Windows XP for swapping letters around in Word files and America for introducing its version of lanuage into our system's spell check - or shood it be cheque ? And so, we can all unitedly praise > God bless America !
[Ps if you find any spelling mistakes it's not my fault - its my computer.]

Posted by: Kimbal Summers at April 17, 2007 9:09 PM

And don't get me started on the misuse of apostrophe's.....

Posted by: Clare at April 17, 2007 8:43 PM

THE ONLY THING THAT REALLY BOTHERS ME IS OVERUSE OF CAPITAL LETTERS. No need to shout, lads.

Posted by: Clare at April 17, 2007 8:36 PM

Yes, both grammer and spelling are important to me. I can't stand it when people don't use correct punctuation. Syntax seems to be another problem for some people.

You try make a good impression when meeting people face to face, so your written word should give a good first impression on your profile.

Posted by: Thizbee67 at April 17, 2007 8:30 PM

The english language is illogical. People possessing high iqs can often strugglle with spelling. Their brain dosent work that way.
So is the ability to spell, a measure of someones worth, education or just a character trait like humour, kindness and love.

Posted by: brian at April 17, 2007 7:54 PM

I find that spelling makes on differnce as you can see i cant spell that well but i am lucky just to get a reply from a kiss or email as soon as they see my photo they all go sower and for the record i am not that bad looking i dont no what they are after but why do they think they are single could it be how they treat other people

Posted by: my dog banjo at April 17, 2007 7:35 PM

Most of the time I cant be bothered wether its its or it's but I must admit I look down my nose at blatant spelling errors and keep it to myself as it is irrelevant when some of my dearest friends are guilty of it...having said that I often use the word thanx cause I like the look of it but abhor the use of "got" which wasnt even a word until about 1970,(bout the time biros became statndard) a lot of things are telling about people when they go online or are txting, at least the authorities made a positive out of it and allow txt language sometimes for assignments and exams that has to help younger types who are more comfy with tech items and use fountain pens for party invites and the like.

Posted by: Ian at April 17, 2007 7:24 PM

Hell yes, spelling AND grammar definitely count. I agree with some of the comments above, you are looking for an equal or near to, you don't want to have to teach them and it does define a certain level of education or at least having some pride in your written communication to another. No spell check / cheating !

Posted by: Blossom12 at April 17, 2007 7:18 PM

Correct spelling, good grammar and well written information comes a very close second to "non smoker" for me. Then I'll look at age, education level and height.

Posted by: John at April 17, 2007 6:26 PM

It definately tells me whether or not I am dealing with an intelligent person. You don't have to be a brain surgeon, but you have to take enough care to check your profile before you save it.

Posted by: Jen at April 17, 2007 5:58 PM

I think how you write your profile should be done with great care. If you can't put two words together then you really haven't taken the time needed to make an impression. For those of us looking for an intelligent person it's the first thing we look for! Poor spelling is often just someone typing too quickly without proof reading- but either way, you've made a less than average impression. Shorthand should be left for SMS texting.

Posted by: smilehigh at April 17, 2007 4:57 PM

Its all been said. Bad spelling is indicative of a lazy uneducated attitude
I pass them by.

Brains eventually rule.

Posted by: nagual at April 17, 2007 2:54 PM

Oh, yes spelling does matter to me! I don't think that por spelling necessarily shows a lack of education though; dyslexics have trouble spelling and many a science/maths/etc. expert can't spell either, yet they're educated. Maybe I'm being pedantic about it, but I do rule out poor spellers. If people can't even be bothered making a good impression with their profile or even ask someone to help them with their spelling for just that, why bother? I'm more impressed by someone who doesn't brag about all the qualities he has, but can spell than by yet another person who says he's, of course, intelligent, creative, independent and has no emotional baggage, yeah right. Typos aren't so bad though they should be avoided in a profile, in my opinion.

Posted by: PixieR at April 17, 2007 2:25 PM

Yes, it's definitely an important thing that a prospective partner can spell and use grammar correctly!

I can't stand sms talk and I do cringe when I see people using the wrong their, there or they're... or the wrong where, wear or we're.

Spell check isn't going to pick up all your mistakes. People simply need to learn.

Having said that though, I'm not about to reject someone or avoid contacting them if I feel their personality beneath is genuine and nice.

It just grates on my mind.

Posted by: thatguy28 at April 17, 2007 1:43 PM

Spelling is wildly important. If you can't spell you appear to be an uneducated looser. That's what bad spelling says to me when I see it. The sad thing is that that's probably not the case. SPELL CHECK! It also says you're bone lazy because how easy is it to spell check something! It's done for you! Take the time to get it right the first time - this will pay off by not putting people that have a thing about spelling off you before they even get to evaluate you the person with your many fantastic qualities. Once they do that they won't care too much that you can't spell. Please put back the apostrophe into you're... I personally hate that it's become acceptable to leave it out - it's lazy and it's not right.

Posted by: Newsflash! - It's you're not your !!! at April 17, 2007 12:03 PM

Please don't install a spell checker to cover up bad spelling and grammar.

I am trying to get a feel for the whole person - education, honesty levels etc.

A few spelling mistakes are okay but.....

Posted by: Ros at April 17, 2007 8:51 AM

How hard is it to open and dictionary and look up a word! especially when words are only slightly longer than 4 letters. Poor grammar and spelling especially are real irritants to me and take away from a person's profile. To me it reflects someone who hasn't really taken any time to express himself. I see it as equally poor etiquette as someone putting a photo of themselves with their ex, holding a bottle of beer, appearing semi naked, posting a photo from their mobile phone and standing in their stubbies and thongs. Tacky, tacky, tacky. When there are hundreds of postings these are all the ones I don't hesitate to flick through with the next button.

Posted by: silvia at April 17, 2007 6:55 AM

Hello Humoured

It may well have been me who was the 'illegible bachelor'. The next line read 'which is why none of this will make sense'.

Rather than getting pompous about this whole rant, how about trying some of the 'GSOH' you, no doubt, were looking for?!

And anyway, didn't you then mean to write 'eligible'?

If there is another 'illegible bachelor' out there, then I sinserley apologize.

Billy Bragg
x

Posted by: PatienceofAngels at April 17, 2007 12:22 AM

If you were meeting someone through "traditional" means(through friends, at a club, at work or the like) I don't think you would stop to ask them for a handwritten profile to check that they could spell. I have a good friend who has a uni degree and she would have the worst spelling of anyone I know. Basically, who cares, kindness and honesty are the important attributes in a partner, I'd rather have that than some uptight ahole that dots all his I's and crosses all his T's

Posted by: Donna at April 16, 2007 11:30 PM

I am surprised at the number of people that feel as I do about bad spelling and grammar, I make typos, but proof read before sending messages. Some typos slip through but very few. A spell check helps those that can not spell, so no excuses. I also do not pursue profiles which are badly written, it really irritates me. No I am not a snob just enjoy reading the written word not text shorthand, can not be bothered to decifer it at all. To me it indicates laziness.

Posted by: Rita at April 16, 2007 11:18 PM

I know that sometimes I can be a little fussy about spelling; to me I just find it a whole lot easier to understand without going over what was said repeatedly to deduce the correct meaning. I even find myself noticing spelling mistakes in published books; you would have thought they might have been picked up.

That being said, I don't believe that bad spelling necessarily means limited intelligence; one of my best friends in school was smart but dyslexic, the words just didn't look right to him. And spell checks don't always pick out the right word, for example the frequently mentioned "they're", "their" and "there" problem.

Anyway, just my two cents from a guy who likes to think that he is smarter than the average bear, but then don't we all?

Posted by: TwistedHumour at April 16, 2007 11:04 PM

OK... I've just read all the comments and I feel that I need to clarify something. It seems that a lot of people (eg: Sarah) think that spelling-conscious people are judgmental and anal and are totally missing the point of what's important in a relationship. Well, I don't believe we're any more judgmental than say, a girl who is not attracted to a guy with facial hair. It's purely a matter of taste and priorities. What's important to one may not be important to another. So Sarah, if I was disinterested in guy that smokes, does that make me judgmental? No more so than a girl who is disinterested in a guy that can't spell. At the end of the day, it's a matter of priorities. If the guy is fantastic in EVERY other way, then perhaps his negative trait can be overlooked. At least being able to see these traits in the profiles helps one make a decision about whether to pursue a person or not. And as for Tabata 11, if English is not your first language, then the importance of correct spelling goes out the window. Good on you for being able to write a profile in a foreign language! My hat off to you.

Posted by: Sydney Grammar Queen at April 16, 2007 10:47 PM

Fascinating, did I spell that correctly, fascinating reading. I notice some spelling errors, but it comes down to the content of the profile. If I'm reading someones profile and am getting excited by their story then a few typos aren't going to worry me....Now back to my search!

Posted by: mustluvchooks at April 16, 2007 9:20 PM

Mi profil is a reflektion of mi. end ai sink set urs is one of u tu. so if u care abaut mi and about urself sen ai sink u shud car abaut ur spelling. osewais it is djast too had for assers to rid wat u rout. du u care? if not no senks too u too.

Posted by: Wolfgang at April 16, 2007 8:07 PM

I am also a teacher and some of the people on here who are claiming to care about spelling (even one stating they are studying to become teachers) need to put a spell check over their comments before they post them. Those who are taking the romantic view that spelling does not matter; that wit, charm etc is more important, need to get their heads out of the clouds and realise that being intellectual equals is important for a relationship to last for the long haul.

Posted by: Leisa at April 16, 2007 6:39 PM

I like an educated man, being able to spell and string a proper sentence together is so important, it means you can have a decent conversation with that person. If they can't spell or write properly, how can you have a stimulating conversation? Come on guys, you know who you are, try a little harder to have abit of class, you don't need to be rich to have that.

Posted by: Rachel at April 16, 2007 6:31 PM

What more needs to be said????

Posted by: Margy at April 16, 2007 6:09 PM

Reading these comments makes me realise why many of these people are single. Correct spelling is nice, big heart and kind soul is better!!!

Posted by: sally at April 16, 2007 5:32 PM

U Peeple do reealyse thaT no 1 is atchooly reading enything u rite. these; blogs are here puraly for us 2 vent and have a say, sum of u are getting way 2 envolved and u need to realyze tHat its onlee U who cares whAt u think about anythink.

xxx The Rsvp Toucher.

Posted by: the RSVP toucher at April 16, 2007 5:25 PM

I one meny speling kontests in skool. i think it is importent to spell propurly in deed!

Get over it all of you! It's what's inside a person that counts and not all of us have had a proper education like I or you may have. What's the old saying? Look outside the square! There are many beautiful people on here who's incorrect spelling will not love me, keep me warm on a cold night, make me laugh or cry, rub my body, make love to me, share my grieves and problems, have fun with me, shall I go on? Get my drift? Peace and may you all meet your true soulmates! to you all!

Posted by: jazzcat07 at April 16, 2007 5:13 PM

I have a Russian friend who is disappointed in her use of the English language. I keep telling her she has a better command of English than most Australians...

Posted by: Marty at April 16, 2007 4:50 PM

To an extent it matters. But some of you people are just being down right petty. Get over it and look beyond spelling. No wonder you are on a dating site if you are being that picky.

Posted by: Amy at April 16, 2007 4:09 PM

Syntactics, grammar, sentence structure, sentence fragments, etc. only really matter to people who use them every day.

I agree that when it comes to the crunch, it is not a persons capabilities that you fall in love with. It is their charm, wit, tenderness and capability to be a reliable partner that steals your heart.

The only time these facets of language shoud matter is when it is necessary to your occupation. If you are a teacher for example.

I am studying teaching and as such, I do notice gramatical errors quite often but I find them quite charming...we can't all be the best at everything otherwise what a dull world it would be.

The day we judge people meerly on their spelling capabilities is the day we need to take a good look in the mirror and focus on the things we can't do...because we all have limitations!

Posted by: Jessica at April 16, 2007 1:31 PM

Wow, I thought I was the only one who was fussy about spelling, however it seems that I am not. It is not everything but some of spelling in some of the profiles is atrocious. Also, I don't always feel that it defines a persons level of intelligence. Although, I would rather know up front that one cannot spell, than find out later on as this would annoy me more.

Posted by: toni at April 16, 2007 1:08 PM

Funnily enough I've never had a man ask me to spell for him on a first date, or even had a guy I've met at a bar request that I outline the difference between their, they're or there. Yet, I have had many fulfilling relationships with people who turned out to be terrible spellers.

When it comes down to it, terrible speller or not, once a relationship starts the only time you're going to have any issue with spelling is when he professes "Your (sic) the love of my life" on the Valentines card. And if you're on this site now, I'll bet you wouldn't be complaining if you got a card next Valentines (bad spelling and all!!!)

Posted by: Jess at April 16, 2007 11:20 AM

I'll be the first to admit I have deleted many a kiss based on spelling mistakes. Yet I have also deleted many a kiss because the member sounded like he had a broomstick stuck up his backside, constantly complaining about grammar and spelling. Just remember it goes both ways.

Posted by: Emily at April 16, 2007 11:06 AM

Ordinarily one or two spelling mistakes would be ok, but on a profile it goes to show how much you care about your first appearances when you spell and grammar check your profile. I also agree with everyone else who has mentioned education levels/intelligence. A lot of people who can't spell properly or who have poor grammar/diction, actually speak that way and I'm not interested in re-educating them. If I wanted to be an educator I'dve become a teacher and work in a school.

Yes, spelling and grammar are important, they show that you care enough to make your first impression impact favourably on the person viewing your profile.

Posted by: Steve at April 16, 2007 8:39 AM

Why so much emphasis on "pelling and rammar" what about some one looking for love but English not the mother language..? I am more worried for those females with incredible expectation for the first date; travel, expensive dinners, 5 star hotels, yachting and whatnot, one wrote ?I am rich and like to be treaded as such.? Sniff-sniff! I personally have taken out ladies based on her posted pic, the reality is that she is another 10 years older and tells you I am "fibbing", spelling and grammar is not in the realm of every person, but it doesn't mean she is a slob..!

Posted by: porqueno at April 16, 2007 3:38 AM

Strangely, I am very particular about my own spelling but not fussy about that of prospective female. Weird huh?

Posted by: Otto at April 16, 2007 1:03 AM

The purpose of the written word is to communicate. If there is the odd error in grammar or spelling, it could be for any one of a zillion reasons, & does not instantly turn me off.
It's when a profile is all lower case, or almost pidgin-english, that I move on. Your profile is about presenting yourself and if that's the way someone wishes to present themself then they're not likely to be someone I wish to be with.
HOWEVER, if the venue is a chat room, or instant messaging, then I believe the ground rules are different. Why? Well, the purpose of the written word is to communicate and if it does that - typo's and all - then it has achieved the intended purpose.
As for spell check, it only catches errors in spelling, not words out of context.
And then there is the flat nature of text - sometimes intentional misspelling words can add expression to writing.... but it's generally best to know who's reading your message and whether they "get" your misspelling!

P.S. I'm not totally accepting.... my exception to this? Anyone who uses - verbally or in writing - "heighth". You know, as in "length by breadth by heighth". Sorry, but heighth is a deal breaker, use it & I'm gone. :-)
t-l

Posted by: t-l4fun at April 15, 2007 11:33 PM

Met a very lovely lady here on RSVP who has a small problem with her spelling. Big Deal! She is still a lovely lady regardless of knowing that 'i comes before e except after c'!!

Posted by: Damo at April 15, 2007 10:11 PM

many men seem to be atrocious spellers. I dont really find that hard to deal with. Grammar? thats a whole different ballgame. I find my tolerance level very low with people who dont have a command of the spoken language. An instant turn off for me. " I seen that"??? No second date there, sorry guys, thats just me.......

Posted by: lyn at April 15, 2007 9:52 PM

I admit that spelling mistakes are off-putting, but I think a lot of guys are just very bad typists, and not just dumb, although you can often figure out which. It amazes me that people type a comma instead of an apostrophe...surely they know the difference? And some don't use a full stop at all, it's just rambling that goes on forever, and usually all in lower case, and then throw the typos' in! Phew! What REALLY cracks me up is a profile written, not only full of spelling mistakes, but a profile which doesn't make ANY sense at all! I think reading some of the profiles on the personals is a great form of entertainment. I laugh my head off at some of them. I can always tell the profile of a new Australian, and we can't blame them for not spelling or writing the way we'd like them to, they're doing the best they can! I think the most common mistake I've found is 'sence of humour' instead of sense. I hate guys who spell come 'CUM', that tells me all I need to know about them!

Posted by: Cheryl at April 15, 2007 9:44 PM

Wow, what is with you people, there are more important things in life, it's only spelling. If a person can get their point across who cares how they do it. Everybody is different, we all have strengths and weaknesses, it would be pretty boring if we were all fantastic at the same things.
Just the fact that someone has created an RSVP profile, uploaded a photo or two and sent you a kiss means that they have made an effort, so stop being so judgmental and up yourselves. We're all doing the best we can!!!

Posted by: Sarah at April 15, 2007 9:43 PM

If you're going to say "I'm intelligent" try to spell 'intelligent' correctly.

Posted by: Ralph at April 15, 2007 9:29 PM

I have been looking at RSVP profiles for several years now - mostly those of men aged over 50 - and I am depressed by the number of profiles which contain glaring spelling &/or grammar mistakes which remain uncorrected year after year! This indicates to me that the chap can't be bothered reviewing & improving his profile to increase his chances. Rightly or wrongly, I find myself thinking he must be supremely arrogant, pathetically lazy, or just plain ignorant.

Note - there is no 'a' in 'independent', it's 'sense', not 'sence', & 'humour' has a 'u' in it! Oh, and while I'm at it - guys, if you were meeting a woman for the first time, you'd put a shirt on, wouldn't you? So why do so many men appear 'topless' in their profile photos? A definite 'turn-off' and really, just plain rude.

Posted by: pleasantpeasant at April 15, 2007 8:54 PM

While I understand spelling and grammar may not be everyone's strong point and does not define us, making the effort to use spell check in word, then cut and paste, at least shows some initiative. Anything less indicates a lack of self respect and laziness. TEXT should be reserved for mobile phones.

Posted by: Bee at April 15, 2007 8:45 PM

Incorrect spelling or grammar is the quickest way for me to eliminate profiles. I agree that it is a sign of intelligence and it is something I care about, therefore any potential partner needs to have the same eye for detail. I dislike text talk, if someone has to tell me to LOL, then they are not funny!

Posted by: Nat at April 15, 2007 7:35 PM

NO spell check. Tells me more about the person than the actual profile!

Posted by: Joanna at April 15, 2007 7:30 PM

I LIKE PEOPLE WHO CAN SPELL!

Posted by: PETER at April 15, 2007 6:36 PM

hey jb, I believe dumbass is actually two words...

Posted by: lyn at April 15, 2007 6:06 PM

Yous people dont't have a sence of humur obviously. Your all going on about trivielities. I wreckon that their are better thibgs todo then gripe about some one elses mistakes.

Posted by: Phil at April 15, 2007 5:50 PM

People who only spell one way are not very creative!

Posted by: Phil at April 15, 2007 5:45 PM

Hi,
I think spelling is as important as the truth you write in your blog. It tells a person how much you actually care about what you have written, how serious you are in this endeavour as well as the level of education you have.
I think it is also a good indication of the level of conversation and the desire to try more intellectual pursuits determined by the correct, spelling and grammar. Some profiles require a seperate dictionary just to understand it.
Yes this is very important!

Posted by: happybeingme64 at April 15, 2007 5:31 PM

I always think to myself when a guy's profile says he is "intelligent": "that would be so much more believable if you COULD ACTUALLY SPELL INTELLIGENT CORRECTLY....." :S

Posted by: Amanda at April 15, 2007 5:14 PM

Fascinating....permission requested to use all of the above in a paper on Language usage, Intelligence...and of course, Commonsense

Posted by: Pamela at April 15, 2007 4:50 PM

I have also been put off contacting someone because of spelling listakes. I dont believe everyones perfect, but I do want someone who makes an effort.

Posted by: StuckForWords at April 15, 2007 4:49 PM

Wow, what a range of opinions! I must admit that how effectively someone spells/ uses grammar is an 'attraction' indicator for me, perhaps partly as I'm more critical of my own spelling than anyone elses!

I'm from the generation who prefers a QWERTY keyboard to an SMS one - have deliberately bought a phone with a QWERTY keyboard for sending SMSes that are spelled correctly.

The English language has always evolved, it's part of the reason that it's still in existence, so I find it fascinating how different spellings come into common use. My main gripe is that I spell in English (UK) and am REALLY tired of the default setting on all PC's being English (US). It really coloUrs my day!

Posted by: scifigirl72 at April 15, 2007 4:24 PM

It doesn't tell you everything about a person, but it's a good "leg up".
I personally take care with my spelling, grammar is a little harder, as I like to try and put my best foot forward. I've had numerous compliments on my spelling and punctuation,...it's an important thing in my eyes.

Posted by: bachelorkissess149 at April 15, 2007 4:14 PM

Absolutely, decent spelling and grammar is essential. SMS-speak makes me cringe. Don't include a spell-checker, because then I'll have to think of another way to filter profiles when I'm reading them!

Posted by: TheNack at April 15, 2007 3:24 PM

Absolutely, there is no excuse. Modern browsers have spell checkers built in. (So there's no need to add one).

I'd like to add that I'm also picky about profiles being well written as well as well structured - If you "love fun" please tell us what you consider to be fun. A LITTLE 'txt' is ok, so long as it's clear you know it's just for fun.

Posted by: Anton at April 15, 2007 2:19 PM

Obviously lots of people who say they are not like the rest or say looks dont matter, then why does spelling matter, people make mistakes. but i find its the so called'perfect people' who cant read properly are the pains because when u say something in your profile to mean something to deliberately put time wasters and so on off,these idiots still message you, eg, why does a athiest,tatood,peiced girl contact me when im christian and ask for normal people.im stumped lol.

Posted by: playfulpuppySA at April 15, 2007 1:30 PM

First and foremost, proper use of grammar then spelling is important in anyone's profile. It shows they have taken care with the profile and even the time to check what they have written. Although the odd spelling mistake (1 or 2) wouldn't stop me looking at the profile because these may just be missed typos.

If someone uses text format, it shows they haven't really put much effort in to the profile and maybe aren't all that serious on the site. I would not bother to contact someone who used this format.

Posted by: at April 15, 2007 1:02 PM

To be totally honest, it initially concerns me but then I chose to study the profile closer and think of the possible circumstance. Our good judgment will tell us whether the person is from a non-English background OR maybe it's just a minute, unintentional error OR the concerned party is simply not into spelling. Anyway, if it does really matter that much to you � then you shouldn�t be dating the other party in the first place.

Posted by: Hotcocoa15 at April 15, 2007 12:25 PM

I like someone to at least be able to spell correctly.
It does put me off seeing simple words spelt badly.

Posted by: J at April 15, 2007 12:24 PM

Thank you all for this excellent debate. My angle is that your attitude to this (and any other VALUE) says more about you than it does about the kind of partner you're hoping for (which is so often so very different from what you actually deserve ...)

I'm cursed with high intelligence AND super-perfectionism, so everything I write myself needs to be clear and concise - and ferociously combed for typo's etc, before I let it out of the house.

I'm using RSVP's wonderfully-wide net to troll for someone who's close to my match in what I care about. So I cross off anyone who smokes, or hasn't been tamed by raising children.

But I'm cool with people whose carefully-worded and heart-warming profiles include a few pimples in the speling department, or bad lighting on the warm smile in their photo.

I'm planning an intense VERBAL future, crammed full of pillow talk and kitchen talk - and as few WRITTEN emails as possible.

So I'm looking for a true heart, a sharp mind and a wish to communicate verbally on a range of ordinary and esoteric topics, at a depth and length that will satisfy my mind, and my need for ongoing intellectual togetherness.

As for WOMEN (Yes vera - not "ladies". Hey - what red-blooded man really wants one of THEM as his bedmate?) whose profiles are scanty, simplistic or cliche-laden, or are looking for "a kind jenlman to take care of me and sit with me all day and look at the sea" - I guess they'd bore me slack, 15 minutes into our first coffee date.

A lot of girls who've bought into this blog would agree with that - they're not looking for a bloke who's monosyllabic.

Trouble is, so many are, and that's their nature. Evolutionarily useful, and not yet bred out, except in a few s.n.a.g.s.

So maybe some girls (especially those over 40) will have to settle for a good heart and a good income, as their mothers and/or grandmothers usually did, and just try to train him to be a better lover. And make friends with some females, so you can get your fix of talking about emotional things amongst them. They ARE bred for it.

To sum up, I reckon good spelling is like lipstick - its purpose is to get a certain type of target into range, but they both become totally irrelevant once you're thoroughly enjoying kissing.

Let's use extra-demanding criteria like profile presentation (rather than the far-more-important profile content) to weed out only the most unlikely targets, and then focus mainly on looking for positives in each profile.

We need to be able to love "Mr Right-enuff" - someone fairly suitable, who shares most of our values, AND love him "warts and all", or WE are too high-maintenance to deserve him. Or anyone.

Posted by: Timewarp1 at April 15, 2007 12:02 PM

Spelling and grammar is important to me, as I see it s a sign of a good education, but reading though some of the comments I have to laugh at some of those who have made grammatical errors while pouring scorn on others for their poor English.

'D' said "helps me over look the pathetic morons" How ironic. Overlook is one word, D.
Some people obviously regard themselves as much cleverer than they really are, and have some of you heard of dyslexia? Or considered that English might not be their first language but their English is a hell of a lot better than your French or Italian?

In short, yes, spelling and grammar is important to me but it's not always a sign of intelligence. I've met journalists with IQs below the school-zone speed limit and some very clever people who through no fault of their own had a poor education.

Some of you need to get over yourselves.

R41

Posted by: RentlyFortyOne at April 15, 2007 11:59 AM

Hi,
Spelling is very important for me when considering whether to contact a person. I would rarely contact someone whose profile has spelling mistakes. The spellcheck facility for both profile and Email writing would be fantastic! SmilingMaya

Posted by: SmilingMaya at April 15, 2007 10:11 AM

I agree with vera! Spelling, grammar and language are all important. Does a profile that declares that the person knows " how to treat a lady special" indicate something?

Posted by: Jan at April 15, 2007 9:43 AM

Perfect spelling and grammar isn't essential, however some of the profiles I've seen are just plain ridiculous.
Text-speak shows that you are either illiterate or lazy. Would you go out on a date, or even just out with friends, without spending at least some time making yourself look presentable? Then take the time to make your profile presentable.
Some people have commented that getting hung-up over presentation is "shallow", but it's not a case of being shallow, it's a case of respect. If I went out with someone who looked all scruffy, I'd feel like she didn't take me seriously enough to make an effort for me. It's the same with your profile - take the time and make it presentable.
And for that matter, put at least *some* information about yourself. I can't stand five word profiles that don't tell you anything. I want to know your interests, your pet-peevs, your favourite book or movie, etc.

Posted by: Ducus at April 15, 2007 9:18 AM

Correct spelling is a must, I don't even look any further at a profile if they can't spell. Even texting format is a real turn-off.

Posted by: Alison at April 15, 2007 8:50 AM

Look I have a high IQ but I am not the worlds best speller, but I think you have to put in a bit of an effort in and try and look like you are trying to make an impression.

Posted by: garry braid at April 15, 2007 7:42 AM

As one of those "academic imbeciles" to whom Teresa refers, I can only say that a carefully constructed and well worded profile indicates to me that its author is attentive to detail and has an ordered mind. Additionally, it might reveal a good education; and good communication skills - a valuable asset in any relationship.
As an aside, there is nothing ungrammatical about split infinitives; at least not according to the editors of the Macquarie dictionary. In Latin, infinitives are always a single word (and obviously cannot be split), and it is merely this legacy from the Latin that informs our disdain for split infinitives. So, feel free to boldly go.

Posted by: TuringsMan at April 15, 2007 4:32 AM

Poor spelling generally indicates a lack of proof reading and that in itself suggests to me that they haven't really thought about their profile; if you don't take it seriously why is it there?
Common bugbears which are genuine spelling errors are "independant" (how many times have I seen that one!!!!) and the aforementioned "alot".

And another one while I'm at it, though not a spelling issue. Any profile that uses the word "lady" (e.g., "I know how to treat a lady", "looking for a lady who....") is an immediate no.

Posted by: vera at April 15, 2007 12:00 AM

YES, I'm a spelling nazi too. And spell checkers are crap. Do it yourself for god's sake.
But WHY, Nat is it more important for a woman??? I've seen sexism before but this beats it all.
BUT, kiddies, here we all are preaching to the converted.....

Just one of those articulated men I guess....

Posted by: clancy at April 15, 2007 12:00 AM

Yes, girls like good spelling, and they're good at it. Boys aren't so good at it (remember primary school if you want to argue) and they aren't so good at typing either. So I am tolerent of slightly incorrect spelling on a new profile. If it remains uncorrected the person is either careless or not as educated as I would like.

Posted by: BlueEyes at April 14, 2007 9:55 PM

Yep, spelling and grammar are important to me. I realise that we all make typos, given the instant chat environment, but I believe that when you set up your profile, you need to take the time and effort to check its readability. I personally am turned off by very simple, often repeated mistakes such as i or i,m.

Posted by: alice at April 14, 2007 8:01 PM

You know what guys...makes me sad that all of you judged human beings about miss spelling:
Doesn't a human being deserves a chance in life?
Is that human being less than you all because he/she has miss spell some words?
When we learn to accept ourselves as we are, we will learn to accept others with perfections and imperfections regardless of miss spelling, color, race etc.
We have to learn to appreciate within the dark and the light without it we can't learn
When we practice empathy within we will be able to send the beautiful vibration to assist people.
Judgement doesn't make the world a better world. Have you ever thought how difficult it maybe for a person whose language its not English?
With a Golden Light
Tabata11

Posted by: Tabata11 at April 14, 2007 7:43 PM

Spelling does count. How about a spell checker on the email page. By the way April, no matter what your primary teacher taught you the phrase is "a lot" unless you are speaking of a block of land then it's an allotment.

Posted by: vickypollard at April 14, 2007 7:33 PM

Posted by: Amelia at April 14, 2007 8:54 AM
YEEESSSSSS!!!
on topic...as most others have said, spelling IS important for 1st impressions...& it IS something I look at initially...

Posted by: me at April 14, 2007 7:27 PM

I'm old fashioned and believe that correct spelling is important. A poorly spelt profile is an indication to me that either the person can't spell or can't be bothered.

So spelling is important to me and a spell checker would be cheating. After all, they could always compose in Word, do spell check, then copy and paste into RSVP - I'm old but I could do that much at least!!

Posted by: whataboutmee at April 14, 2007 7:11 PM

I'm old fashioned and believe that correct spelling is important. A poorly spelt profile is an indication to me that either the person can't spell or can't be bothered.

So spelling is important to me and a spell checker would be cheating. After all, they could always compose in Word, do spell check, then copy and paste into RSVP - I'm old but I could do that much at least!!

Posted by: at April 14, 2007 7:09 PM

Obviously some people care about spelling and presentation and some people don't. I have no problem with people who don't care but I am not personally interested in them.

Including a built in spell checker would remove a valuable "matching tool" that works in both directions of the care/don't care fence.

Posted by: Notgareth at April 14, 2007 7:00 PM

Good grammar and spelling is essential, especially to a woman I think..Although there is nothing wrong with abbreviations when there can be shortcuts taken to type/write something quicker...But bad spelling is just a turn off...Don't people proof read things anymore, maybe one error can sneak its way in but anymore than that does tell alot about a person...it's not about intellect, but just about taking more care in things that we do...like lol its easier to type it short than actually write laughing out loud....:)

Posted by: Nat at April 14, 2007 4:48 PM

Wow, fascinating comments - a great debate. I vote no.

People can already do their own spell check, so providing one a) may not be used and b) would remove one screening method I use.

Spelling does matter to me and I have said so in my profile. Perhaps it is unfair to make so many assumptions based on spelling, but we're all drawing a lot of conclusions anyway...we're human, we're seeking a partner and we're busy. We all make so many assumptions from the pictures we see and the comments people have used to promote themselves - that is, after all, the very nature of RSVP.

One thing I find very off-putting is that so many men seem unable to expand on their interests in their profile - i.e. one word answers or one line comments.

It strikes me that they “can't be bothered� and that they possibly will be very limited in their conversation skills. An unfair conclusion? Perhaps, but I value my time and don't always want to take a risk...so sue me :-)

Having said that...a quick wit and a clever one-liner can work well. I always aim to look at the big picture to see if I can handle the brevity.

I once had a boyfriend who was so, so, so nice to look at but "dumb as a box of hammers"...one of the things he’d say would be "so what should we talk about next?"

I don't want to go there again; I'm a little older and wiser now and I'm looking for substance! As the saying goes “beauty fades, dumb is forever�. Cruel? Yes, but I am sure people are also judging my profile and making comments that I could call unfair. We’re putting ourselves out there, for the RSVP community (and their mates!) to see…we look, we judge and, in turn, that gaze may be turned on us. Thankfully (or hopefully) we’ll be blissfully unaware.

I have to wonder though, are the people who don't take the time to fix up their spelling or expand on their personal information likely to read these comments? And if they do, are they likely to give a toss?

Posted by: Melinda at April 14, 2007 4:32 PM

hmmm ... *muses* ... doesn't ANYONE remember the nutty professor?

sheesh!

Yes, it does show some intellect to be fluent, eloquent, articulate and well-expressed with our profiles, but it's not the be all or end all, surely?

Cya :) oops ... was that a smiley?

*run*

Posted by: ciaramyst at April 14, 2007 4:31 PM

Yes, I think spelling is important in a profile... Shortened versions of a word is ok...but spelling/grammar has always been something I take note of. A heap of mistakes turns me off.

Posted by: Nicole at April 14, 2007 4:26 PM

Guys and Girls.
A personal profile is like a business CV. There is an acceptable standard.
If applying for a job you write a professional CV. The same applies for a partner. In business, if there are 100 applicants for a job vacancy, the interviewer does not interview all the applicants. The top 10 are selected and interviewed on their merits. The successful applicant is selected on their conduct and presentation.
The same principles apply to dating. Regardless of the personality, the first impression is important. I reject many profiles because of the profile presentation. I alter my profile and depending on the wording the response varies.
There are no excuses for bad spelling. I compile my document in Word. I spell check the document and cut and paste the grammar to suit the thoughts I am trying to convey. I then cut and paste the document into Notepad. From Notepad I cut and paste into the RSVP boxes and correct the formatting.
There are a lot of scammers, no-hopers, con artists, phoney photos and profiles in cyberspace dating. There is an art to reading profiles; I do not waste my time with lowlife, therefore the wording of the profile tells me the personality of my prospect.

Posted by: John at April 14, 2007 4:03 PM

Tony - how do you spell 'nuerotic'? Just a thought as you seem to care about the visual cues on profiles (and in blogs, perhaps?).

Posted by: Annie7 at April 14, 2007 2:23 PM

If someone makes the effort to think about what they write in the profile and to take care with the grammar and spelling, then perhaps I'd like to meet them. No spell checker, thanks.

Posted by: missmystify at April 14, 2007 2:04 PM

When presented with relatively little information about a person, we have to make a few assumptions to fill in the blanks - and the written content of a profile is always a big indicator of that person's real motives for being on RSVP. Spelling is just one factor -a handful of mistakes is nothing to get uptight about, but I find txt spk a big turn off in a profile. This isnt SMS or instant messaging, you really can afford to spend those few extra seconds writing complete words! But the content itself is just as important...cliched and formulaic responses do nothing to mark a person out from the crowd, and over-reliance on photos at the expense of a few words really doesnt reflect too well either.
Now....could someone please spellcheck this comment for me?

Posted by: Nick at April 14, 2007 1:50 PM

Hey Wishfulthinker, just read your profile.....like your sense of humor about the use of "a lot", where you say "sit" alot, gave me a smile....well, I hope you did it on purpose... anyway, gave me a smile:-)

Posted by: Gary at April 14, 2007 12:34 PM

It does to me. Short cut writing expects the reader to go to the trouble to interpret. Rude??
Dialogue without visual cues is already open to misunderstandings, so punctuation enhances accuracy and nuance. So at the risk of being nuerotic - Ta!

Posted by: Tony at April 14, 2007 12:05 PM

I truly thought I was being so picky with spelling but there is nothing that really annoys me more than a profile full of mistakes. I have deleted a few kisses for this exact reason. If you can't work out that "a lot" is really two words, there is little hope for you. If I seek an "educated" man, that's what I want, not one that can't work out where the apostrophe should go!

Posted by: Wishfulthinker at April 14, 2007 11:26 AM

Personally it seems to show how bad the teaching is in this country. My sister is a teacher and laughed at how bad people spell here.
It does crack me up though when a girl says i'm very intelligent, then can't spell.. Should probably keep that to themselves hey...?
I've noticed too that it seems to be a lot of the younger people doing the 'text like' profiles, maybe the mobile obsession will have a bad impact on everyone..

Also.. is every woman a tight arse or something? Why send kisses and then expect the guy to send an email??

Posted by: Stuart at April 14, 2007 11:25 AM

It might not matter to everyone, obviously - but it matters to me.

If their profile is filled with spello's or SMS talk, means they are either uneducated, lazy, or both.

However, I suspect that is a generational thing. Teens now take texting style as normal language - and language is an evolving beast.

Posted by: illawarrior at April 14, 2007 11:24 AM

Spelling ability is not necessarily a good indicator of intelligence. Incorrect spelling however can indicate how much time and care a person is willing to contribute towards giving the impression that they are educated or care about correct spelling. A good speller might not be emotionally intelligent so while a few incorrectly spelt words might make us cringe or annoy us, ultimately this should not be the final indicator of whether a person is worthy or not of a decent perusal! As a teacher I can tell you that poor spellers are still lovely people. We all have our own strengths!

Posted by: Frankie at April 14, 2007 11:20 AM

a certain level of education and intelligence is important but as to being grammatically corect and speling stuff the rite way, its the 21st century for gods sake and sms or txting on the phone has taught us to shortcut everything, it dont mean we aint edificated and its the person not the profile that counts..

Posted by: cookbrekkyfor2 at April 14, 2007 10:49 AM

Funnily enough I only just joined rsvp yesterday and I have already found people's spelling to be annoying. Personally, if I were writing an english essay or something of course I would ensure all my spelling and grammar were correct, however I think it's a bit different on here. I tend to let my spelling 'go loose' on here a bit because I don't think it's too big a deal. Nonetheless I will definitely be put off by someone who misspells a really simple word (unless it is common sms language). For example, someone writing 'gorl' instead of 'girl' really annoys me. I don't understand why you wouldn't correct this, especially if it is your heading thingo! It gives the impression that you really don't care and that you're not a perfectionist like the rest of us! haha. so yes incorrect spelling does frustrate me a tad.

Posted by: Kate at April 14, 2007 10:47 AM

Good spelling and acceptable grammar goes a long way to showing that you care about the way you represent yourself.

It simply rounds off a quality (displayed) photo and entertaining and informative profile comments.

Posted by: Albrohos at April 14, 2007 10:22 AM

No spell check is the way to go! We all make the odd spelling mistake now and then, and I like the human error thing....although, not sure at times which is the most unattractive.... really crapp spelling... or the perfect in every way attitude.

Posted by: Gary at April 14, 2007 10:18 AM

This is what makes internet dating that little bit more complex. I had a previous partner whom I loved to death (not literally) and his spelling was quite shoddy. Having met him in a bar and dated for four years I never found it to be much of a problem. Overall I'd say he was more intelligent than me even though my English is better. So judging people on this is risky. However when someone tells me they are trying to "loose wait" I'm not longer interested. I'm still trying to figure that one out!

Posted by: Victoria at April 14, 2007 10:00 AM

Spelling used to be an important subject but not these days - phoenetic and americanised spelling are both accepted in most schools. I know some school teachers who can't spell to save their lives. I have refused kisses because of atrocious spelling and felt bad for not giving that person a chance. I don't see the point in starting a relationship with someone whose bad spelling annoys you.

Posted by: Julie at April 14, 2007 9:39 AM

Well a couple of ladies that have posted comments here have had strong opinions on correct spelling & grammer. They then have signed their name's without a capital letter. Go figure?

Something that makes me wonder is when so called proffesionals with degrees have numerous typos, however some "tradies" don't. It tells me they either are lying about their credentials or are being like many High School students, LAZY.

There are some gramatical errors in this blog but I think it is the truth in someone's profile we should all be most interested in.

Posted by: Toni at April 14, 2007 9:27 AM

reading some of these coments tells me that there are still some narrow minded crettins still on this planet .. i have really bad spelling not cos im poorly educated but becouse i have very bad dyslexia which affects my ability to spell and form words corectly.. if i was an un educated "person as some of u have said becouse i cant spell properly why is it then i went to university and did marine biology which is a really hard couse in it self and walked away with a 1st.. mmm!! answer me that ... im proberly more inteligent that the narrow minded (now i say people to be nice) on here!!!
writing is not all a person is so get a life some of you!!

Posted by: tony at April 14, 2007 9:23 AM

I want to know if that person will put in a bit of effort BEFORE I spend a stamp. I say "no spell checker!".

Posted by: alex at April 14, 2007 9:15 AM

wow what a pack of stuck up a**holes , who cares if someone can't spell or use capitals when they type.
over the years i have had some of the best friends who are the most normal and down to earth person you could hope to meet .
they don't pretend to be something or someone else just to impress you ,they are natural and true to themself and friends at all times , yet could'nt even read the headlines of the local paper .
who makes the better partner someone who is proud of themself , flaws and all , or the pretender who only cares what others think without being true to themself !

Posted by: glen at April 14, 2007 9:12 AM

I think it is okay to have a spelling mistake or two after all we are only human, but when a profile is full of spelling mistake, it does make you wonder whether they are just lazy if so what does that mean when they are in a relationship? Or they don't care enough about anyone or anything to go to the effort to spell check,

Posted by: Robyn J at April 14, 2007 8:57 AM

Can we have a blog on why people don't respond to kisses?

I mean, how hard is it to click on the bottom option?
I get many kisses each day but I can still find the time to respond to every kiss, no matter what. Even from the married guys who "thinks we can have a lot of fun together". There should be an option, "get lost sleaze" LOL.

I'm not impressed by these self-righteous people who have in their profiles - "no photo, no response" or any other silly excuse for not responding to kisses - who in the hell do you think you are? Get off your high horse and learn some manners !!!

I also don't like the ones who have, "I don't have stamps", in their profiles. So! Does that mean you are too cheap to buy some stamps and send a girl an email? We have stamps, why don't you?

Posted by: Amelia at April 14, 2007 8:54 AM

I have to admit bad spelling does turn me off from a profile. I tend to ignore a few little mistakes, however a profile full of spelling and grammatical errors doesn't interest me.

Posted by: SJH at April 14, 2007 8:43 AM

Poor spelling, typos and not typing in sentence case, is a sign of laziness.
It shows that you can't be bothered to present a good online profile.
Even if you are uneducated, it doesn't take much to ask a friend to read your profile and check for mistakes.

Posted by: Amelia at April 14, 2007 7:42 AM

Yes! It definitely DOES matter if my date can spell. I find poor grammar and incorrect spelling an instant turn-off. I know it might seem trivial and small-minded but it's just something that is very important to me. On the 'it's versus its' dilemma, surely people can differentiate between contraction and possession, no? Drives me crazy!!!

Posted by: Sydney Grammar Queen at April 14, 2007 4:50 AM

Girls!!!! What if you met a man of your interest in the flesh and not on RSVP?Would you get him to spell a few words before you said yes to date? Most of you would probably want his bank balance typed out as well. Hope none of you masked your own flaws with makeup and good lighting in your photos.

Posted by: Sharon at April 14, 2007 12:47 AM

I say yes it matters, but then if you type like me it probably often looks like you can't spell well, when really you just go tooo fast.
Hate it when readiing education or literacy notes that have mistakes of any kind.
However these days I actually do send txt messages using symbols for words. Makes it quicker & allows you to fit more into a message.

Posted by: CAROL JOSEY at April 14, 2007 12:27 AM

There are so many spelling mistakes in the above blogs that it is shameful! Perhaps everyone should check their spelling before presenting it to the rest of Australia.
The difference is knowing the difference!

Posted by: D. Olney at April 14, 2007 12:09 AM

Poor spelling helps me over look the pathetic unintelligent morons. Keep up the poor spelling, so I can ignore YOU

Posted by: D at April 13, 2007 11:23 PM

YES!!!! Bad spelling is a real turn off, I'm a spelling Nazi and quite often if a profile is written with poor spelling or abbreviations such as gr8, I'm outa there. Guys...learn to spell it's not that hard!!! I paid attention in grade 4...why couldn't you?

Posted by: Angela at April 13, 2007 11:22 PM

Please, no spell-checker. I use how the guy has typed his profile as an indication of whether he takes pride in his work, cares about appearance and his level of intelligence.

Posted by: B at April 13, 2007 11:13 PM

I have bad grammar and spelling in profiles. I especially hate people who get their "there, their and they're"s mixed up (your and you're as well!) I mean come on, it's basic spelling stuff we learnt in primary school! Sloppy writing to me indicates either a lack of thought or just plain lack of intelligence which is a complete turn off. Also, people who don't use complete sentences. I hate that. With some profiles, it just seems the person hasn't got the idea that they are trying to sell themselves. For example, under, say, "Reading" putting "ask me and I'll tell you". Why on earth should I waste a stamp to do so?

Posted by: Laura at April 13, 2007 10:58 PM

I regard poor spelling and grammar as either laziness, poor education or a "don't care" attitude and always politely refuse contact. I am actually "turned on" by good spelling and correct use of the English language. It's extremely important to me. Luckily it takes all kinds and I guess that many don't care or may not even notice, but when I search or receive contact, the written word MUST be right in all aspects.lol

Posted by: Dee at April 13, 2007 10:57 PM

I cannont stand people who cannot spell!

Posted by: papergirl1077 at April 13, 2007 10:57 PM

First things first. You have to be attracted to the person. But no matter how attractive someone is, they are deleted immediately if they don't know the difference between there, their and they're; to, too and two; your and you're. Dodgy spelling = dumbass.

Posted by: jb at April 13, 2007 10:53 PM

NO spelling errors are acceptable. Errors mean the person is not intelligent and doesn't care/isn't serious about finding someone. Also that they do not have attention to detail.

Posted by: Angel at April 13, 2007 10:50 PM

It means a great deal to me whether my date or whom ever I'm going to spend time with can spell correctly or not...

Cheers Carly

Posted by: saffron33 at April 13, 2007 10:45 PM

Wow! I thought I was the only one who was anal about grammar and spelling, but there's an entire gaggle of us. Great! However, I have to disagree that poor grammar/spelling indicates a lack of intelligence, more likely to be a lack of education. I have a passion for words and once ended a relationship because I found out he was illiterate. He's the one who's done great things in his life, and is extremely happy although still illiterate, so who was the intelligent one in that relationship, eh???? A quick question for DianeW....why does respondents need an apostrophe?

Posted by: TishB at April 13, 2007 10:41 PM

For me, it's the thing I look at first. It speaks volumes about a person and their compatability. Many of the profiles have glaring spelling mistakes. One can be excused as a typo, but more than that and it's "no-go".

Posted by: Rohi at April 13, 2007 10:37 PM

Spelling does not always mean you are not educated. There is a saying:
You can sitll undresantd the snetnace wtihuot radenig the wolhe wrod, you jsut need the frist and lsat leettr to be crroect.
But when you are talking about texting, that is a whole new debate!!!
If RSVP offered spellcheck that would be even better.

Posted by: Michelle at April 13, 2007 10:28 PM

To boldly go or not.....who cares and save it for Captain kirk.

People are typing of course errors occur. I guess it means 1 get the Google tool bar with spell checker or write the stuff in Word and cut and paste after spell checking. I can't stand lazy grammar eg text talk, however don't think we should be totally crucifying someone who is less than accurate in there spelling and grammar efforts. Though it helps!

Posted by: StretcherBearer at April 13, 2007 9:40 PM

Sorry- cannot stand someone that does know their-from there- to they are...to the neverland! where are they coming from???

Posted by: sassy1903 at April 13, 2007 9:39 PM

I am an educated & intelligent male & seek the same in a partner. After all, I want someone with whom I can easily converse without limiting my vocabulary. Spelling is a good indicator & nothing is more off putting than to read a profile of a woman who describes herself as "intellegant" - please, use a spell-checker or a dictionary or be thought of as lazy or ignorant.

Posted by: Becoming18 at April 13, 2007 9:11 PM

To me personally, if someone is going to be my partner, that means an equal on all levels, or near enough. This being the case I get very annoyed by txt talk and bad spelling. I could not be in a relationship, if I felt like a parent/ teacher figure correcting spelling etc. which I personally would have to do.....no question about it.

Posted by: Lexie at April 13, 2007 8:59 PM

Mi sence of riteosnoss is abit affended by thus diskussyon. Downt rite them off becos of there spelink. They may have more kwalities that yoo could lern from. You aint perfect guys

Posted by: martin at April 13, 2007 8:44 PM

Just because a person cannot spell properly doesn't mean they are not worthy of a look. I myself tend to look at spelling and cringe at mistakes but that's just my upbringing and education. I'm a product of my time.

Posted by: raindrop5 at April 13, 2007 8:38 PM

I feel spelling is very important. It is an instant turn off for me if someone I might be interested in can't spell for nuts and it's even worse if their grammar is incorrect as well. For me I think it reflects a poor education and maybe an inability to communicate. I am not against computer lingo when it's obviously intentional and enhances ones expression but bad spelling is something I do notice and I don't think I can be the only one who notices.

Posted by: Marie at April 13, 2007 8:35 PM

I doubt I could date anyone seriously if they wrote in text speak, or couldn't string together a sentence. For me that's part of the level of attractiveness.

I don't always spell correctly, as I type fast and often press 'send' before proof reading, but I'm not claiming to be perfect!!!

A poorly spelt/thought out profile would indicate to me that either no care was taken, or perhaps the owner of said profile isn't as intelligent as I'd like a prospective partner to be.

Snob I hear you saying????

Yeah and?? ;o)

Posted by: Michelle at April 13, 2007 8:34 PM

Bad spelling in profiles is a clear indication of someone's intellect. Usually, it's below average.
As for abbreviations, isin't that a teenage thing? I don't like them and I don't use them.

Posted by: Jenine at April 13, 2007 8:29 PM

Yes it is important to spell correctly - with spell check there is no excuse. I find people asking for degrees etc. and they can't spell - sorry no degree but I can spell

Posted by: espesh at April 13, 2007 7:59 PM

Spelling has nothing to do with a persons intellect! it's just a lack of Education, this has nothing to do with a persons personality or values! so don't be too quick to give them the boot. There is alot of academic imbeciles out there, that say they are intelligent.

Posted by: Teresa at April 13, 2007 7:56 PM

I think if it looks as though someone has taken some care/effort in writing their profile, then the occasional typo is acceptable, sometimes even cute. However, no capitals, no punctuation or all caps does not leave a good impression. Definitely no abbreviations or sms text please.

Posted by: Nik at April 13, 2007 7:49 PM

I don't see it as being that important. The important thing is whether or not you are attracted to that person or their spelling.

If you knock them back because of their spelling then thats probably why you are still searching for a partner.

Posted by: Brian Arundell at April 13, 2007 7:41 PM

I do not respond to kisses that come from poor profiles. I find spelling errors to be a huge turn off and I have no qualms about putting that in my profile. Now I just wish the guys would actually read the profile and not just look at the pretty pictures.

Posted by: Amanda at April 13, 2007 7:37 PM

I'm afraid I don't like text talk at all. I think it is actually lazy. Correct grammar and spelling are an indication of education level which is important to me.

Posted by: Gaye at April 13, 2007 7:02 PM

Who cares if your spelling is correct that doesn't make a person.....may I suggest STOP being so shallow......

It's what's in the heart and your morals that count. "God doensn't pay his debts with money"

Nor correct spelling it's in a persons intentions and actions that count.

Posted by: Renee at April 13, 2007 6:52 PM

It's all true guys. Listen to these ladies, they will be impressed with spelling and grammar just as much as they aren't impressed by a picture of you with no shirt on, sitting on a motorbike with a stubby in one hand and a fish in the other.

I haven't been on here very long, but most of the women I have had any contact with commented that it was nice to correspond with someone who knew where to use a comma and the difference between your and you're (for example). It's not that hard to do.

Girls, you don't get off free here either. Bad English is as much a turn off as an airbrushed, studio glamour photo. (unless of course English is your second language and you have a sexy French accent).

Anyway, just my 2 cents worth on the matter.

Posted by: Fred at April 13, 2007 6:45 PM

To me, bad grammar and spelling are anathema, especially given that spell and grammar checks are available (people can do a draft on Word and then paste into RSVP).

Those who are sloppy about the way they communicate show a lack of regard for their native tongue and also give the impression that their educational level is not very high (even grads/post-grads on this site are sometimes guilty of using poor written language skills).

Posted by: heiidi at April 13, 2007 6:09 PM

The quality of a person's text tells you about the quality of the person and the probable quality of their personal presentation.

Posted by: Alfieee at April 13, 2007 5:55 PM

I don't use txt-style words in txt messages, let alone anything typed out on a keyboard.

Yes, the way you write does say a lot about you. It shows how much consideration you put into getting your message across, and who you intend to get it across to.

That said, the content is more important than the presentation. And I know of one example of an extremely intelligent girl who delivered a fantastic slapdown to a guy who challenged her ability to write what he considered "correctly". She wrote in txt because it was faster for her, not because she wasn't able to do better.

Posted by: Introspect at April 13, 2007 5:55 PM

Gee, and I thought I was the only anal person that thought spelling was important. I don't mind a typo or two but there are many, many profiles out there where there are way too many mistakes to excuse. I have also rejected kisses because of spelling. It's not so much the education level of the person (very educated people have spelling problems) but it tells me that that particular person doesn't care enough to make a good impression where first impressions are critical. The few men whose profiles don't contain errors have prompted my interest immediately because they seem so few and far between. I have had a couple of very nice relationships with men from RSVP who can actually spell!! It doesn't ensure long term success but it certainly helps to get you to the next step.

Posted by: Robyn (another different one) at April 13, 2007 5:54 PM

I believe it does matter if you can spell, if you cant put the time into writing the correct grammar, then you are obviously going to put the time into the relationship, it also lets me know, your education level.

Posted by: ruths at April 13, 2007 5:40 PM

I am a highly educated person who has a condition that makes it difficult for me to spell. My take on spelling mistakes in profiles it is this: If the odd spelling mistake discourages emotionally stunted control freaks who think they know everything - than spelling mistakes in my profile it is a good thing!

Posted by: Blomen at April 13, 2007 5:35 PM

My favourite quote from a profile is, "I don't read much". Hmmm. That says it all, I suppose.

Please, at least tell me you read the newspaper? Cereal box? Train timetable? :)

Posted by: Amelia at April 13, 2007 5:26 PM

marktc68 - I just had a look at your profile. Could you please read the blog about photos and then put your shirt back on ... :)

Thanks.

Posted by: Amelia at April 13, 2007 5:21 PM

Personally I think it is a good idea to make a good impession by at least attempting to use correct spelling, grammar and punctuation. As someone who loves the English language and good song lyrics (Rock poetry can be really wonderful!!!) I am particularly drawn to well written, exciting profiles with all the Ts crossed and the Is dotted. However, we all have our strengths and weaknesses and I feel that if we are too pedantic (I hope I've spelt that correctly lol) about peoples' writing abilities, we could be giving the "cold shoulder" to a potential soul mate!...even if the writer was cleary too lazy to try and amend any mistakes.

As far as abbreviations go, they don't really turn me off a person. But I prefer not to use them myself as I like to try and make a good impression.

Posted by: Anthony at April 13, 2007 5:19 PM

OMG Yes! How many people spell 'a lot' as two words!!! It is not 'alot', just as 'a bit' is not 'abit'. If someone can't spell 'a lot', then it turns me off! I also can't stand it when people don't start a sentence with a capital. Come on guys...that's basic grammar!

Posted by: Opelle at April 13, 2007 5:09 PM

I was recently sent a kiss by someone who described himself as an "illegible" bachelor. It was clear from the other adjectives he'd used that he meant "ineligible". Yes, poor spelling and grammar does say "alot" about a person.

Posted by: Caroline at April 13, 2007 5:08 PM

Wow, what about this topic next ... can you see the stick up one's back (insert "side" where applicable) by merely reading their profile?

Posted by: Humoured at April 13, 2007 5:05 PM

You can deduce someones academic qualifications ???? Really? By wot they rite?? What a load of nonsense! I could have 4 degrees and a doctorate, but do sum txt talk 4 fun!

Posted by: dave at April 13, 2007 4:57 PM

OOps I made a typo... apologies *huge grin

Posted by: Robyn (yeh the different one) at April 13, 2007 4:14 PM

Some typographical errors are understandable and fine by me, but on the whole, the spelling tells me whether the person has the intellect that I admire and whether I could feel comfortable conversing with said person; as I "don't suffer fools gladly". I have no hang-ups, or prejudices regarding intellectual disabilities, so don't flame me. I'm more referring to 'duller' light globes pretending to be bright-as-bright-can-be.

Posted by: Donna at April 13, 2007 4:05 PM

Umm err aghh, how do you rate someone that is looking for "intelagence" (or versions thereof)? Really, I never know if it's their attempt at humour or not. Look, who hasn't ever made a typo but the real thing here is that someome doesn't realise their mistake. Maybe they could be given assistance, but would they bother to use the spell check? By the way, its definitely DEFINITELY, no A or you get the "A" *wink.

Posted by: Robyn (different one) at April 13, 2007 4:04 PM

My profile is syntactically correct and it's very important to me that respondents' have similar attributes. I can deduce a person's intelligence, academic qualifications and personality by his or her ability to syntactically articulate his or her thoughts.

Posted by: DianeW at April 13, 2007 3:49 PM

I agree with Mark, Robyn and Amelia. It's amusing to see a member who seeks intelligence but spells it as intelligense- and I'm pretty sure they're not being ironic.

Posted by: marktc68 at April 13, 2007 3:49 PM

Split infinitives??? Wot a load of rubbish. Yes, being able to spell and construct a sentence is important. No, it doesn't say whether a person is beautiful on the inside and someone you could emotionally trust.

To boldly go is a split infinitive and, using correct grammar, should really be to go boldly (the infinitive is the neutral form of a verb, to go, to make etc.).

We all make mistakes. I know someone who wrote she liked articulated men!

Posted by: Antony at April 13, 2007 3:28 PM

I agree with Mark, Amelia and Nelly and have also disregarded kisses due to poor spelling of the RSVP member. Typos can be easily corrected if the profile is proofread prior to submitting it.

Posted by: Robyn at April 13, 2007 3:01 PM

Spelling is definitely a big thing. I have deleted many a 'kiss' because their spelling was atrocious.
I agree with Mark, it does indicate the level of education. When looking for a partner, I am looking for an equal, not someone I have to mother or teach.

Posted by: Nelly at April 13, 2007 2:28 PM

Excellent spelling and grammar throughout your profile tells me a lot about the person.
- They have thought about what they have written.
- They have proofread it for mistakes.
- They have looked up difficult words in a dictionary to double check the spelling.
- Everybody should have someone else read their profile for feedback.

I also like it when people know how to use the shift key.

Writing using text abbreviations, is not appropriate for an RSVP profile. The only time when SMS text abbreviations should be used is in a text message.

And finally, please learn how to use apostrophes correctly.

Posted by: Amelia at April 13, 2007 2:13 PM

NO spell checker!! Poor spelling indicates low level of education.

Posted by: Mark at April 13, 2007 2:08 PM